#luci: bitch u dont KNOW ME

[riordanverserpdatabase]

hi!! Hope you’re having a good day - I was wondering if my (VERY) new blog of my oc Meiko could be added to the database? The account is @meiko-mako and she’s a daughter of Hermes :]

sorry if this isn’t the proper way to ask !!

HI MEIKO HI MEIKO

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO EVERYONE

@basically-a-god this is Robin shes kind of a bitch (and my favorite sister) but shes cool. she has a boyfriend who sucks (is also my favorite)

@madson-of-hermes-notluke this is maddox maddox is also new and sleeps next to me (sorry u cant sleep next to me cause maddox already is)

@the-better-castellan this is Lucy they're the coolest!!! and they have a cool robot arm and sometimes they're scary but not really its fine

@wivesandwallets this is Eli eli is super nice but you have to be nice first but thats okay

@notfuckingshortening this is crisco hes dating a god and he thinks i dont know but i do cause im not stupid

@fin-the-child-of-hermes THIS IS FIN FIN HAS THE COOLEST NAME EVER and I like fin a lot you should talk to fin

@estraava this is Estra and i havent heard from her in a while and that makes me sad....

AND I'M DEAN @itsprobablydean WELCOME TO THE CABIN HI WE LOVE YOU

[melonsharks]

Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Im just gonna allow myself to yap about supernatural and see where destiny takes me. SIDENOTE IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS WITH ME LITERALLY PLEASE I WANT TO PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.

Okay first of all im starting with the start (s1+2). BEST LIGHTING TO MOOD EVER EVER EVER. Like you want dark scary monsters??? ITS THERE. I remember there being a reason they changed the lighting (smugly: yes i listen to the podcast) but i CANT REMEMBER. The characterisation of the macho eldest son coded scared eldest daughter Dean is unreal and parallel in epicness to repressed queer allegory something is inherently wrong with him little brother. The brief moments of emotional vulnerability. Dont get me STARTED on Dean's monologue in the s2 finale i'll start crying. It's crazy how rude john is to Dean like excuse me he raised your kid and now ur bitching about him? Try saying thank you for once. I think the only reason john actually said im proud of you was because he realised when azazel said it dean was like "ur not my dad" and to john it was a little "oh shit" moment. Sam has every right to be angry but every time he gets angry at dean something in me shatters a little because deans trying so hard for himself and sam and sam doesnt know who or how to lash out (emotional dysregulation baybee) so aims for deans jugular like nooo honeyyyy noooooo. This era was the best sam in my opinion.

Rest of the show down here:

Onto S3-5. Cant remember jack about season 3. Season 4 CASTIEL MY BELOVED MY LIGHT MY LIFE MY REASON FOR LIVING. Absolutely loved everything about Weird Cas and i wanted more of him why did they have to domesticate him. His and Deans dynamic was impeccable and yk something??? I wanted to see Dean in hell torturing people i wanted to see it on his face how much he hated that he enjoyed it and i wanted to see Cas' face at watching the righteous man lose. Like the best we got was Yellow Fever GOD I LOVED THAT bit when he was hallucinating the book and it said "you gonna cry?" Like so many people think thats a funny episode but it makes me so sad because he is DYING and from such a young age hes been told to stow it away, lock it down to the point hes HALLUCINATING IT. Cas falling for dean. Im sorry i just. They are the best love story. LUCIFER. He was scarier back then, but i do love later seasons lucy too. Something about the peeling skin and the "we will always end up right here" just slapped. ENDVERSE EPSIODE god so good can we just take a moment to think about it. Okay cool thanks okay. Demon blood Sam arc was fun but had unfulfilled potential. Cant give you specifcs rn its late and my brain needs to get this all out so if you know you know. The whole meta stuff with Chuck was eh until he was confirmed as god and then i was like duuude the faint strings of marionettes are glistening in the sunrise like how do we know --- im getting ahead of myself.

S6-11. I know, its a big chunk. But basically the whole thing could be renamed "Crowley's unrequited love story". Cas and crowley were the best duo i almost forgot like they are genuinely so funny together and i bet it would be great to be tortured by them UMM THE BETRAYAL i honestly loved Cas' episode the only thing i didn't like was how the reveal itself was done like... Idk just a bit... Kryptonite???? Anywho i Loved the tension between Dean and Cas DEAN LOOKED BACK. Um leviathans were my favourite monster but they became so dumbbbb after washing up liquid killed them. BOBBYS EPISODE ALWAYS MAKES ME SOB MY EYES OUT "i raised two boys and they became heroes" allow me to DIE. Also damn impressed a shot to the head didnt take him down but it was lovely to see Deans first world, first solid rock properly crumble around him (forgetting john okay he wasnt a healthy rock) . PURGATORY DEAN JDJSJDJDJD kill me please his fight or flight mode was SO. So sad we didnt get more of purgatory like i would pay to see more i would kill probably but we'll overlook that. Benny my beloved. They definitely all got together Cas included like who wouldnt at that point. Smth i didnt like is how wheneer they went back to purgatory, unlike how dean described it "360 battle 24/7" or some shit like that it was EMPTY. Like please,, i know the plot needs convenience BUT PURGATORY ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE CONVENIENT. But dean recrafting his own memories to make himself believe that he failed to save Cas rather than what he perceived as Cas giving up on him- hang on i dropped my jaw somewhere, gimme a sec i need to go find it-- LIKE. HHHH. The whole mind control shit going on with Cas because his ties to Dean had been severed (saw a post about that and loved it but cant rmb it) and HIM BEING THE ONE TO BREAK IT. The crypt scene mmmm i love. Want more. Mark of Cain dean was literally my favourite. A violent, mentally unstable man who also has bad mental health and is often covered in blood? Yes pls. Cas being with him every step of the way. I havent mentioned Sam in a while. Hes just kind of been there. Hate that he slowly became 2D. Far away in the background hes got his worried expression and is rocking, saying "Dean? Dean? Cas? Jack? Dean?" Like writers why did u strip his personality except for worry. Do Not get me started on the whole Amelia thing ill stab someone. But yeah cas saying he'll watch dean murder the world is my universe :). If someone said that to me id say "omg really?" And develop a huge fat crush (somehow). CHARLIE DYING WAS AN ABOMINATION When they brought back Eileen why not charlie like. Dont bring characters back at this point because theres all sorts of issues grr. Amara was cool af but i didnt like the whole amara x dean stuff because it was just weird. Luciferrrrr hes so girlypop i love him DEAN DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT CAS but thats only because lucy purposefully wore less clothes around him to distract him.

S12-14. Im running out of steam. MARYYY. It hurt to see Sam get along with Mary becsuse he never knew her as anything else while all dean wanted was a mom and that wasnt who she really was anymore. He loved her so much but couldnt break through that barrier of "it wasnt the perfect marriage until after she died" vibes. God that scene in s5 where its suggested dean saw +/ smelled what happened to Mary and he was literally backing himself into a corner BROKE me. Havent mentioned the Wayward sisters but please know they are so important to me they are my everything. Jack is also. Loved Kelly, very sad she had to die. Wanted Jack to be a baby but thats not good for television is it. But i love Jack so much hes such a sweetie who can kill with a thought. Alternate universe michael and Michael!Dean was epic af but michael dying like that was so anticlimactic gonna be honest i think they were just reaching for ways to lose Jacks soul. Garth GARTH!!! Hes so cute. I loved all those "hand recorded" episodes btw like ghostfacers and that one teen wolf type stuff. Dean hiding in his room is so me. Free Will Theory is so fucked up at this point ur sat there saying gods been pulling the strings this whole time and i supposed to be okay with it?? I so get why deans angry but i definitely think thats something Chuck emphasised (crappy excuse for crappy writing) to an extreme level because WHAT. Like dude. I cant even describe how out of character he felt at some times.

S15. Currently rewatching and cant rmb much of it. 3 characters dead in the first 3 episodes. They either kill off all side characters or we dont hear from them at all to tie up or shove away loose ends. I cant even talk abiut the finale please i cant rn im way too tired. It straight up didnt need to exist, it could've only been 19 eps. Cas. Castiel. He did want you my darling.

[witheringwidgetwrites]

an mc with echolalia repeating noises/words/phrases the demon bros say (especially things in demonic language) and some of them getting Annoyed thinking its you mocking them and challenging them (lucifer, satan) or that ur making fun of them in a demeaning way (levi, mammon) and the general confusion and possible angst from hurt feels bc they dont know this is just a Thing some humans do. i think solomon would get caught in a loop with mc tho especially during nightbringer era like sol makes a Noise, mc repeats it, they go back and forth bc sol thinks its cute n understands the stimming nature it can have and everyone else is just '???? did the humans break???'

sorry if this doesnt make much sense its 3 am for me but i saw the ask abt demons not rly understanding humans and was like. lets take it up a notch with autistic (and other neurodivergent) traits and behaviors. bewilder those bitches some more. also i love ur writing its so good thank you for all youve blessed us with <3

AutismCore me me me me me relatable i love this ask sm i am stimming rN

pls send in a req for the others! if i do all in 1 post itll be soo long (also if u want a longer one send in 1 character and we can get some real angst in here)

Lucifer is one who doesn't mind very much. He's used to the Anti-Lucifer-League mocking almost everything he says, so there's not surprises there. However one evening at the dinner table, he it comes along in passing.

"Yes, I've never quite understood if you enjoy my presence or not, as you seem to mock me so often, MC."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I heard you the other evening, you were speaking of what I had said to you, repeatedly. If I recall, it was, 'Don't dally with the dragons, MC'," he smiles at you, but there seems to be a little aggression behind it.

"Oh no, that's not mocking, Luci, it's called echolalia! It's a symptom of my autism." You go on to explain, and it seems like a small wave of relief washes over his eyes.

"Very well. I'm glad we got that misunderstanding cleared up."

The one who avoids you is Mammon, he's only now been caught up to by you, as you sit into the chair next to him at dinner. It's mostly quiet, until everyone has left, besides you him, and Leviathan and Beel, who are having this own conversation. You speak quietly, "have you been avoiding me, Mammon?"

"Why'd ya think that? Maybe it's you avoiding me!"

"Well, I haven't seen you almost at all in 4 days. Everytime I see you, you turn the other way. You feel the sting of fresh tears start to burn in your eyes, and Mammon can't help but feel a little guilty.

"Why'd ya even want to be around me, I heard you mocking me. You were sayin' 'mammoney' over and over."

"No, Mammon, that's not it at all!" You furrow your brow, and more tears start to come forward. This is not the first time you have been misunderstood by someone about your symptoms. You go on to explain, practically pleading with him to believe you.

"So it's just somethin' some humans do? Really? I think Levi does that sometimes," he chuckles, a small blush gracing his features.

The one who is most hurt by the misunderstanding is Leviathan. For sure. He heard you saying "Ruri-chan" over and over to yourself and assumed you were making fun of him. He hid away from you for days until you caught up to him, and asked if he'd been avoiding you. You missed your best friend dearly. "Of course I have! I heard you mocking me! I thought we were friends." His frown was evident, and you had to pry to find out what he was talking about. "Leviathan, what in the world are you talking about?"

"I heard you! You said," in his best mimicking voice he could muster, "Ruri-chan, over and over."

You were quick to stop him, trying your best to explain. He was still hurt, but he did feel a little silly.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. I do that too sometimes, repeat things when they're f-fun to say, I mean," he seems to trail off, averting his gaze. His anger had not dissipated, and he felt silly for ever being mad.

"I-I'm, I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, MC."

[charliemwrites]

I'd just like to let you know that I've (lovingly) stolen the idea of having One piece of shit character to use as a punching bag in all of your works.

You have Brandon (worstie <3)

And I now have Jason!

Anyway can't wait to watch that idiot get bodied by Kyle or Johnny and honestly all the fucking worst to Lucy's bitch ass too. ~WhY DOnT Yo u SenD Me fLoWErs~

CHOKE

YESSSSSS

Every writer should have a crash dummy imo. Usually I have a Cool Best Friend across fics too tbh

Welcome to Hell Jason, leave your helmet at the door it won’t help. (Jason was a great name choice - sorry anyone named Jason I’ve just never met a nice one 😭)

[wolfjawswriter]

absolutely awesome lnco and bts photos that i want to reshare with yall cause yall deserve to enjoy them too

and my commentary too of course cause yall aint never getting rid of that

BEST MEME TO COME OUT OF THIS SERIES SO FAR COME ON YALL WHERE ARE THE MEMES USE THE PIC

closest we’ll ever get to seeing the ot3 bbys cuddling after a case 

look at them and tell me they arent one adorable polycule, i DARE u

yasssss queen cheer for us 

new fave reaction pic, needs to be a whatsapp sticker

closest thing we’ll ever get to seeing lockwood on vacay

also are those PURPLE SOCKS?!

the boi aint got no sock chill

'never forget to massage ur eyes before u leave for work’

totally canon moment of the bbys hiding from the rain on a job, the fuck u mean this is a bts pic? aint no such thing its CANON

*inTENSE BBY GIRL EXCITEMENT*

how dARE YALL

the face u make when ur told u burnt down a client’s house but u still sealed the source so u technically did ur job right

girl aint got no idea what the fUCK is going on

dick measuring contests bby, dont worry ur pretty head with it

when u hear u now owe 60000000000∞ money

MANIFEST IT 

RENEWAL

MANIFEST IT

hi

bye

dont talk to her she angy

load of bullshit bby boi thats what

the siblings are fightinggggg

what the ever hell

WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO HANDS IN THE AIR CHEATEHS PREPARE TO BE FUCKED BY THE LONG DICK OF THE LAW

why

why does cameron look like jim carrie in this photo

alexa activate my ‘charm lucy into never leaving me’ smile

THATS ALL HE IS

A GLORIFIED HOUSEWIFE

and we love him for it

come at me, bitch

i just love how the skull sits over her shoulder in most interviews, is that an intentional thing?

*insert that weird laugh that sounds in like the very 1 second of spice girl’s wannabe here*

george about to commit a crime

AYO WHERE MY BOYS HAVING A SPA DAY FANFICS AT

look at the way he looks at them, if thats not what being in love with a pair of idiots looks like then who the fuck knows what is

[kaeyx]

I honestly dont think people understand that Asmo is literally the only one from the transfer of Obey Me to Nightbringer that didnt treat MC differently from day 1. (disclaimer, i havent played nightbringer in MONTHS im still on like lesson 14 if that gives you ANY idea on how long its been since ive played) But like...........yes people notice it but i dont think people UNDERSTAND it. Asmodeus was THE ONLY ONE. Solomon is the exception but imagine you build a life with these people, you build relationships with these people, your like romantically involved with at least one of them, your best friends with at least one, youve shared secrets with them, you share a connection with them that NOBODY does, and then you get thrown into the past and ALL of that gets erased, all of the affection, all of the memories, your pacts, all of the time and effort you put into them is basically just.....gone. So imagine how it must feel to have Mammon back to being how he was at the start, or how it must feel to be shut out by Lucifer again (as a lucifer persuer it was so fucking hard to get through to him and to be thrown out and forced to worm my way back into his heart again- EXCUSE ME!? LIKE BITCH I EARNED MY PLACE IN HIS HEART HOW DARE YOU-!? THAT TOOK TIME-! ) Or how it must feel when Satan doesnt look at Mc the same anymore, or how it must feel when Simeon doesnt show the same amount of love he did before, and then being able to have that sense of........liek.....warmth when talking to Asmo because you know that....nothings really changed. Asmo is still YOUR Asmo. Asmo is the ONLY one, out of everyone, who treats Mc like nothing really changed the moment they met in NB. Its like......Solo and Asmo are not only a package deal, but theyre also a sense of familiarity and comfort in the chaos that is being thrown into the past and being told "you'll be happier here" (also i feel like i have a right to be extremely upset with whomever yeeted MC into the past because ITS MY CHOICE ON WHETHER OR NOT ILL BE HAPPY NOT URS WHY TF DO U GET TO DECIDE IF IM HAPPY OR NOT!? WHAT IF I /WANTED/ LUCI TO KILL ME?! HUH!? LIKE. BITHC. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I FIND KINKY OR NAH STFU >:( its my life how dare you try to tell me whatll make me happy- tho im 100% okay with it if it means i can romance Dia and Barbs within the plot instead of just gathering intimicy points- like.....marry me pls dia i beg of u- pls for the love of the gods make me ur husband- on my hands and knees for u ANYWAYS-) I feel like thats something nobody really pays attention to and like.....understands and acknowledges about NB is that like....everyone else changed EXCEPT Asmo- SORRY IF THIS ISNT LIKE A THIRST OR ANYTHING LEO I JUST THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE AND I WANTED TO SHARE <3

It's a rlly good point! Asmo is generally very nice to MC even when they're a complete stranger, and it's a bit harder to tell when his affection becomes... deeper? More genuine? Idk how to say it, when he starts caring for them as a person instead of just "cute/interesting new person to play with", but he's still being nice even in that first stage. Beel also behaves like this imo, he's very sweet and opens up to MC pretty quickly (especially when compared to like. Lucifer or Satan)

[leclerced]

hi cait!! I don’t know if you’ve spoken about it, but have you seen fallout yet? if yes, what do you think about it?

-

🩰

we haven’t rly talked about it much! i think the weekend it released, i posted ab enjoying it n talked a little ab it but thats it. adding a read more for minor spoilers, i tried not to mention anything too spoilery just in case but i mention some specifics ab maximus at the end!

lmk what u think of it too, i’d love to hear ur thoughts bub <3

to answer ur question, yes yes yes i love it. i didn’t really expect to, i have so much love for the games and i was worried that it wasn’t going to hold up to them. i’m relieved that they created a new story for the show rather than trying to turn one of the games into a show, but i’m slightly disappointed with the way they went about it. my one problem is that The Big Reveal about vault tek at the end is something that has been theorized for years and years and it’s v cool they revealed it but also. i would have DEEPLY preferred to have played it over watching it. it would have been a lot more impactful, for me at least. idk how anyone else feels ab that, i could be the minority opinion, its just like… idk why they spent decades building this intricate universe w hundreds of years of alternate history and lore and all this stuff and so many mysteries…. only to reveal the biggest mystery in a show? not even a game?? ugh im meh about it.

aside from that, i love all the easter eggs from the games they included, it’s so fun picking out little details and being like, at the end of the show there’s a password and it’s the release date for fallout 1. the recreation of the vaults is absolutely incredible and probably my favorite aspect of the show, they look almost identical to in game vaults which was super satisfying for me. SO excited to see vegas in the next season omfg.

having three protagonists was really fun, i loved watching their stories intersect with each other before they all really come together. i love lucy and the ghoul but i kinda hate maximus. (generally speaking, i dont like the brotherhood at all bc of the games /: im wiping them bitches out every time in new vegas <3) aside from that, him pretending to be titus then branding the other squire w titus’s initial was weird as fuck and i could not stop thinking ab it the entire time i was watching after that. idrc ab him letting titus die … but also i don’t trust him or the brotherhood at all.

[solar-halos]

man… i need to procrastinate some more. here are some olivia rodrigo songs i think are thg characters coded

disclaimer i know this is a weird thing to do but at the same time some of them just fit so perfectly

annie cresta: ballad of a homeschooled girl. like. “thought your mom was your wife” idek how this would happen but i think annie would find a way

finnick odair: pretty isn’t pretty (grown man version)

johanna mason: all-american bitch. this one was hard bc olivia rodrigo gives off “sad in a sad way” vibes instead of “sad in an angry way” vibes and i just don’t think that’s how johanna would express herself. rip modern au johanna u would have loved ashnikko

katniss everdeen: bad idea right? bc gale was a bad fucking idea. also it’s canon that whenever she was kissing him her brain went blah blah blah. but dont worry in the end she comes out to be so american

madge: obsessed. i think she’d be calm and collected up until she finds out that her ex has a new man

peeta mellark: no offense but he’s too well adjusted to fit into any of these songs. maybe “happier” in cf when he thought that katniss and gale were bumping

haymitch: hope ur ok. this song does admittedly gives me bad vibes bc i hate when singers write the saddest songs about OTHER peoples trauma (looking at u too, conan gray) but what can i say it fits

delly: stranger. that’s such a positive song and since she’s the queen of positivity it would speak to her

gale: it would be so easy to say jealousy, jealousy but honestly i think teenage dream is so him. “they all say that it gets better but what if i dont” him post-mockingjay

bonus

lucy gray: girl i’ve always been. like, duh. but also scared of my guitar

ok i’m done. there are a lot more characters but those are just the ones at the top of my head

[scattered-winter]

in honor of s6 returning tomorrow, here's a collection of highlights from the 911 annotation doc feat. season 2 finale and tsunami arc (transcript below the cut)

hen sees a chance to make buck’s life living hell and she always takes it <3 older sibling behavior

chim: [hands buck a sledgehammer]

buck: >:D

I FORGOT [maddie] CAME INTO THIS EPISODE <33333

not to be dramatic but if my brother almost walked into the shower with me absolutely ass-cheeked naked i would simply require him to give me financial compensation

buck automatically assumes maddie is talking about eddie when she says someone’s cute

sir. buddy old pal.

press f to pay respects to the new ladder truck that lasts all of like 3 episodes before blowing up

these detectives are stupid as FUCK godbless <3

MADNEY

THEY’RE DISGUSTING. WHEN IS THE WEDDING <3

damn i wish it would rain money where i am rn

a guy comes falling onto a car out of a window and my first thought is “it’s raining men hallelujah”

EUEHHH ITS MAGGOT LADY ALSO

not the hair maggot lady. the other one.

the fact that i have to specify WHICH maggot lady it is. evil.

lmao i forget that. most 15 year olds dont have learner’s permits

i was driving farm equipment when i was 10 so im an outlier i guess

oh my god the hand on buck’s waist

homosexuals

[ID: a close-up screencap of eddie and buck hugging, with eddie's hand on buck's waist and buck's hands on eddie's shoulders. end ID]

do u see this shit mr krabs

[eddie] looks soooooooooooooo slutty in that white shirt oh my god

spiritual successor to the slutty black tank top

WOOOOOO HERE WEGO <333 MOST INSANE FEW EPISODES TO EVER GRACE NATIONAL TELEVISION <33333333333333333

i was a different person before watching the tsunami for the first time btw. after finishing this arc i was a Changed Man.

DO NONE OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT NO WATER MEANS. Y’ALL LIVE IN LA. YOU SHOULD KNOW.

WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING

GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE

GO GO GO GO GO GOG OG GO GOG OG GO GOG GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

ghlsdkjfskg this guy wanting A Sign … my brother you got a fucking tsunami

poseidon said Fuck this guy

fuck it

au where the greek gods are real

i mean we already know zeus has it out for buck and eddie

it aint much of a stretch <333

LENA <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

i think she and lucy should have met onscreen tbh

or maybe not because the sheer dyke energy would be too powerful for the show to handle

and yes i know this show has a canon lesbian couple. irrelevant <3

ghlskdjg buck’s look of absolute shock after eddie looks him in the eye and says That….bitch me too the fuck

MAN AND [athena] HAS TO AMPUTATE A GUY’S ARM….

major props to her because i could NOT do that

i’d simply say Sorry bro i just. yeah i have a uh. thing. with a guy. i gotta go. bye <3

ghslkdgj [chim] makes a quip as he’s pulling up <333 ofc he does <33333

i fucking love him btw. in case u couldnt tell.

“we’re gonna need a bigger mail truck” the way you just KNOW he’s seen jaws

[dappersautismcreature]

just finished fallout the show but holy shittt dude i havent watched a show this good in a whiiile. part of it could probably be contributed to the excellent video games and the worldbuilding already laid out for it but holy shit holy shit.

SPOILERS

i was convinced i didnt like maximus but no i was just falling for cleverly set up twists and some things were predictable yes but sometimes theyd just do something that felt SO right. and the characterization?? excellent. the tone? incredible and unique.

normally with these split POV shows i get bored of a POV but that didnt really happen. and normally i get frustrated with the political aspects (not because i think its 'too political' or whatever just because i have that good ol fashion autistic strong sense of justice and i want to punch characters) but there was enough nuance and characters that i could relate to on a moral level that i didnt feel as frustrated.

its really interesting because in my polysci 101 class we just learned about the Federalist papers and one of Madison's talks about interest groups in politics (lobbyist groups essentially) and saying that yes groups like these can be detrimental to political liberty but restricting the freedom of all groups would lead to a worse detriment to personal liberty and free speech.

Hank's (fuck u hank) whole deal was getting rid of factions but his ideas were flawed because he created a greater detriment to health and liberty than factions do, he created another faction (dumb bitch)

gore is not really my thing and ill admit this was a hard watch for me (close to Invincible levels imo and i cannot bring myself to watch Invincible again) but it was manageable and felt like it matched the tone

and the tone, ive never seen anything like it, i mean i havent watched like every show in existence but it feels really unique. my favorite aspec t of a lot of sci fi is what i call "confident ridiculousness" which yes can be grating and land badly sometimes but this felt like seasoning on a dish, just enough and not too much. They managed to keep serious and emotional moments while still having those moments where you can feel the comedic exasperation.

and the charactersssss, like i said i usually get bored of a POV but all of these characters were different and interesting.

Maximus most of all because i fell for the idea of him hurting Dane. I always kept that bit of doubt in my mind but as things progressed and Maximus did more desperate things i thought i would hate him by the seasons end. but no, looking back with the knowledge that he didnt hurt Dane everything he did really just seemed like instinct and self preservation not malicious intent. sure you can say he did bad things and hurt people but thats the point of the show. i like him maybe the most out of all the MCs but its a hard choice.

Lucy was great too! as a transmasc guy i sometimes feel dysphoric for relating to a femme character (my bad sorry im fighting my internalized misogyny) but she was so relatable and amazing. sometimes Lucy's (brown haired skinny white woman PC) can be generic and flavorless in terms of character traits but I liked her almost instantly. She is so smart. a lot of characters that start out naive stay very naive and thats seen as like, a strength of character but I personally love that she does change and is still mostly able to defend her values. She makes mistakes due to that naivety but to me at least, remains relatable and smart when she learns from those. she feels like a full character, which you dont see very often in the archetype thats supposed to be your self insert.

And the Ghoul, intensely complicated and interesting. I flipped back and forth so many times on whether i liked or hated him. Again i know thats the point but still! i will admit im a sucker for his type of character but the show still had me gritting my teeth over his actions. he is not a good person, of course, but seeing him grapple with what he used to be is so cool and i really liked his story.

im running out of descriptions but im really impressed with the writing and the acting. the main three actors were all perfect and im hoping for a season two.

i could talk more but again, running out of words lmao.

[lumenari-moved]

𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗   ⇢   @unfaeyh​

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❛ your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you. ❜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

   That was so... simpleminded it was nearly enough to put her to sleep. Who were these people he even referred to? Most of HUMANITY didn’t even know she existed — sure, some of them might fear the concept of the Devil, of Hell, and everything in between. But that didn’t protect her at all. If he meant demons, well... some of them probably were. But all of them were too WEAK to lay a hand on her, even if they joined forces.

   “I think my protection is based on the fact that I’m a god,” she responded, quirking a brow. “I don’t need anything else.”

[skiploomz]

Pet peeve is when ur having an online conversation and u say something like "omg yeah this reminds me of meryl streep in mama mia" And someone will be like "i dont know who that is or what ur talking about" okay???? fucking. google it cunt????? ur already at ur computer????

[xjelani-archive-blog]

a few fucky idle lucy headcanons that could be considered important in threads(?):

although she still retains her right hand, she’s had her fingertips burned at the pad, erasing her fingerprints. it happened approximately when she was around her early teens. her touch is calloused and rough on the right, metal and sleek on the left. 

if you open up the cabinet behind her mirror in the bathroom, you’ll find rows of medication. all of them having different uses but all fairly vital if lucy wants to go through the day without too much difficulty. think of it as oil to a machine. 

despite her having a high alcohol tolerance, (and could probably be considered practically an alcoholic with how often she drinks) because some of the medication she takes and it’s interaction with alcohol, i’d think she would be susceptible to pass out/black out sometimes when she takes it too far. sometimes she’ll wake up hunched over her toilet with unflushed vomit in the bowl and her makeup a mess. other times she would’ve ended up at someone’s place and although her memory’s pretty spot on -- she won’t remember how she got there. those are just her very bad nights tho.

generally steers away from makeup on hits unless she has to go undercover (in that case she wears whatever fits the mood). off the job, she’s usually wearing something light. might have her lashes curled though. 

her condo is very modern and bares a neutral color scheme. lot’s of greys and blacks and beige. she has a few potted plants but they’re fake. her place has a bit of a gloomy touch: something straight out of a home magazine but it weirdly gives the feeling that no one lives there. (ironic because that’s the place lucy stays in the most)

if she ever takes off her prosthetic hand in front of company, they’d be able to notice right away how swollen and bruised her stump can be because of overuse. it has an ugly scar at the end that runs along her forearm; some of her tattoos around that area are a little distorted from her skin being pulled too. the whole thing is probably cringe worthy.

[spicytrashthe1st]

Obey me boys "i beg to differ" "then beg"

Lucifer

"I beg to differ"

U fool. U absolute buffoon. He realises what his said too late. By the look on his face he already knows what ur gonna say but is still irritated when u say "then beg". Will walk away from u, is 100% done w ur shit.

"Then beg"

He says it w so much sex in his voice that u cant not be flustered. If u cant recover feel free to retreat, if Mc.exe comes back online climb into that bitches lap n whine a "please". He'll break, trust me.

Mammon

"I beg to differ"

We all love to make Mam's beg, he's just so cute when he does it. Considerin he says this in front of his bros the poor boy doesnt see it comin. So when u say "then beg" he freezes, full body blush like hes a kettle ready to boil before yeetin himself out the room. Congrats, uv broken him, better go after him before he runs into a wall.

"Then beg"

He's so smug when he says this its too cute. Like full on hands on hips bendin down to ur level smiling all the way.

Dont back down. Dont u dare back down.

Sensually grasp the sides of his face, only leave an inch between ya n say "oh great mammon, would u please". Break him.

Leviathan

"I beg to differ"

Big regrettie spaghetti as soon as he says it. He waits for ur response but it never comes so he looks up at u. Big mistake. He gulps at ur wicked grin. "Then beg" n oh boy does he.

"Then beg"

Y'all r in full fanboy discourse mode so he says it w such conviction. Naw, look at ur boy bein so confident. Take a picture, itll last longer, especially since ur gonna wipe it of in a second. Go all out. Crawl into his lap n go full anime gurl w a "Leviachan, please, please, pretty please?". Get the smellin salts, u just k.o'ed this boy.

Satan

"I beg to differ"

U respond w "then beg" without even thinkin about it. U both blink at each other like 'did that really just happen?'. Then this shithead gets that demure smile on his face n u know ur fucked. The way this man says please leaves ur entire being tingling.

"Then beg"

Smug bastard tm. U cannot visibly break his resolve, however, blush stained cheeks r still a win.

Asmodeus

"I beg to differ"

He's waitin for u to say "then beg" like a dog lookin at a nice jucy steak. Will u give in?

"Then beg"

Doesnt really expect u to beg, but that just means that u can do a sneak attack. Fluster the avatar of lust at ur own risk.

Beelzebub

"I beg to differ"

He looks confused when u ask him to beg. He does the dogo head tilt n u have to tackle hug him. Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time.

"Then beg"

Gotta be honest, i dont see him sayin this unless in jest. That bein said, he did ask.

Belphegor

"I beg to differ"

Gettin brat boy to beg is harder than tryin to get Luci to sleep at a reasonable time. Most of the time he'll scoff at u. But on a rare day he'll get all sly n rub himself against u like a cat, lookin up at u w those eyes that make u horni grip before sayin please.

"Then beg"

Never beg this man. Ur better than this.

Make this brat pay for his insolence.

Diavolo

"I beg to differ"

He doesnt know. I always see Dia as both oblivious n in the know at the same time. It shows when u ask him to beg. Like a light bulb goin off in his head he looks at u w such smolder u almost regret sayin it, almost.

Dia begs either like a dog wanting to go for a walk or a brat. He begs like a brat this time. Pound his ass, its what he deserves.

[Im changin Dia's status from baby boy to bothe brat n baby boy, it has been decided]

"Then beg"

Bratty behaviour engaged, tread carefully soldier. To defuse do so cutely, he become a fit of giggles. If u wish to escalate be prepared to back ur shit up.

Barbatos

"I beg to differ"

Homie. Brother. Senpai. Look at me.

If u ask this man to beg u r unleashing a beast that could destroy us all.

So do it anyway!

Honestly gettin this man to break his whole butler shtick is a challenge, but a challenge worth doin. Im just warnin ya that the amount of horni ur about to unleash is uhh...well itll be somthin else, lets just leave it at that.

"Then beg"

Please leave it cute.

Leave the horni outta the kitchen.

Simeon

"I beg to differ"

He knows. The fucker knows exactly what he's doin. Will act all innocent but theres that look in his eyes that screams otherwise.

[Is...is Simeon a brat? 🤔]

"Then beg"

Would u beg for this angel man?

Do u think he'll show his tru intent if u do?

Solomon

"I beg to differ"

Is this wizard boy even capable of beggin? Only one way to find out! He'll do it if he thinks it'll fluster u.

"Then beg"

Dont let him, never let him win. Cake that shit on when u say "oh my beloved king". Or flip it on its head, how dare he tell u to beg, put him in his place.

[This post has been updated to reflect my findings after makin this post]

[kitsunekissesxo]

Demon Bros Pet Names HCs and Scenarios

Demon Brothers Pet Names Headcanons and Kiss Scenarios

Summary: Headcanons of the brother’s petnames for you, vice versa, gender neutral MC, fluff kisses  <3

Warnings: Implied nsfw, suggestive, somewhat explicit

Lucifer:

Oh, Lucifer. This man may seem cold but on the inside, and when the two of you are alone, he’s the biggest softie. Like, big softie.

His pet names are more...traditional, if you will. He absolutely despises pet names such as baby, babe, honey, etc., so don’t expect him to use them. If you use them on him, expect a wrinkled nose and a grimace.

His personal favorites are my beloved, my rose, my darling, my love, my dear. He’s very possessive of you and intends to make sure his pet names for you further prove that.

He allows you to call him Luci and LuLu when you’re alone, and, even though he vehemently denies it, he finds it incredibly endearing. Other than that, he isn’t very fond of pet names for himself.

However, he simply adores when you call him your love. He might be possessive of you, but it fills him with so much pride knowing that you want others to know he’s yours as well. 

During sex, you 100% call him Daddy and Sir if you’re into that. If not, his love-making is so intense that you can only manage to utter out his name- and he loves that. It really strokes his ego wink wink

Lucifer absolutely adores calling you princess/my prince during sex, no matter what the mood is. He finds the way it makes your face flush irresistible. 

“Luuuuciiiiii,” you whined out impatiently, attempting to get your boyfriend’s attention. He’d had his nose stuck in paperwork for hours now and you were in some serious need of attention. “You haven’t so much as looked up at me in the past, like, 10 hours,” you pouted.

Finally he raised his head to lock eyes with you. Dark circles marred his beautifully pale skin, showing the effect of the overwhelming workload he was forcing himself to push through. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him, all signs of impatience leaving you to be replaced with a look of worry.

He gave you a weak smile while resting his head in his hand. All you wanted was to wrap him up in your arms and play with his hair as he napped against your chest. So that’s exactly what you went to do- love him.

You stepped towards him, his tired eyes looking up at you quizically.

“My love, please take a break. You’re exhausted. Please,” you softly pleaded, reaching your hand out to hold his cheek, thumb swiping back and forth soothingly.

He closed his eyes and pressed himself into your hand, letting out a content sigh, bringing his own hand up to hold yours to his face. Your heart swelled with love- early on the in the relationship, he’d flinch when you’d try to touch him. Now he treasured every carress you had to offer.

“Come here darling,” he murmured, motioning for you to climb into his lap. You did as he asked, straddling his lap and lacing your hands together at the nape of his neck.

The way he looked at you with such adoration made your heart race. You leaned down to capture his lips in a sweet, loving kiss. His hands came up to press you closer to him, one hand threading into your hair and the other pressing on your lower back. Your fingers played with the hair on the nape of his neck.

He pulled away slightly to whisper against your lips,

“You always know how to stir up these feelings in me, my dear.”

Mammon:

This man adores the cheesy petnames. Like the tsundere he is though, he denies it with a blush so intense it reaches his ears.

He doesn’t even use petnames for you when your relationship first begins. The tsundere is strong with this one.

At first, it seems like all he ever wants to call you is “his human”. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed

Until one fateful day, he called you. You picked up the phone eagerly and to your surprise he uttered out a, “Hey babe, are ya busy right now? Ya better not be- come to my room asap.”

Needless to say, you could have sworn your heart skipped a beat

Mammon’s pet names of choice include, but aren’t limited to, sugar, baby doll, dollface, doll, baby, babe, honey bun/honey bunny

He loves anything that will make you smile, though. It’s his favorite thing in the whole world.

During intimate times he mainly sticks to calling you baby and baby doll, expect him to desperately moan that into the crook of your neck as he begs you to continue

He blushes, stammers, tells you to stop, but then tells you to not stop when you call him pet names. He not-so-secretly loves it, and you know it.

You like to call him mammonie, monmon, baby/babe, handsome, and my prince. Just to mess with him and to see that cute flush of red on his gorgeous tan skin. It’s also undeniably cute and cheesy

During sex, he absolutely adores being called baby boy. It really gets him going. This boy is a sub

You were scribbling school notes in your notepad, studying for the upcoming exam when your D.D.D rang. You sighed, setting your pencil down and reaching for your D.D.D to see who was interrupting your study session.

It was Mammon.

Of course it was. You adored him, you really did, but his timing was pretty awful. You answered and put the phone up to your ear with your shoulder so you could continue copying down some notes that Satan so generously lent you.

“Yo, yo, yo! Babe, are ya busy? Ya better not be- come to my room asap!” He exclaimed happily.

The phone fell from your shoulder and onto your notepad. You had felt your heart skip a beat. He called you babe.

“U-uh...MC? MC??? That was an accident. I aint mean it. Just...come to my room. Hello? Human, are ya even there??” He stammered on nervously.

You scrambled to pick the phone up, responding in a teasing tone, “Mammon. Three things. 1: I heard that. 2: I’m studying. 3: I heard you call me that.”

You could hear him huff on the other end. He was seriously too cute, too easily flustered.

“Just drop it, wouldja? I aint mean it! Now get your ass over here- I dont care if you’re studying. No one makes The Great Mammon wait!!”

You could practically see him puff his chest out. You just wanted to engulf him in a hug and ruffle his snowy locks so badly. 

With a grin, you taunted, “Okay, babe. I’ll be right over.”

You hung up just as he began to sputter and protest, checked yourself in the mirror, sprayed some perfume/cologne on, and began to make your way to Mammon’s room.

As you reached Mammon’s room, you thanked all your lucky stars that you didn’t run into any of the brothers. Without warning, you swung Mammon’s door open, and he jumped with a shriek.

“Jeez, ya scared the livin’ evil outta me, human!” he exclaimed, clutching his t-shirt near his heart. His cheeks were already tinted a lovely blushed hue against his beautifully tanned skin.

“Awww, sorry Monmon. Didn't mean to startle you,” you poked, watching as he crossed his arms over his chest, beginning to protest that you didn't, in fact, frighten him.

You quickly leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He froze, and you could practically hear his heart race. You pulled away, both hands coming up to the nape of his neck as he just stared at you, mouth slightly open, his face bright red. 

“You worry too much, baby.” You teased him, a smile playing on your lips.

And then he leaned in to return your kiss, hands settling on your lower back gingerly

Needless to say, he began to “accidentally” continue to call you endless pet names. He really did love them and you

Leviathan:

Please, for the love of all things unholy, please let this shy boy call you silly pet names. He adores them, simply because it makes you giggle, and he loves knowing that he’s the one making you laugh

Levi appears as though he doesn’t feel shame, but we know he just hides it really well. However, he still rambles to anyone and everyone about Ruri-chan and anime, so he won’t mind you using pet names for eachother around other people

Because of his anxiety though, he probably won’t be too keen on that idea at first. Will his brothers laugh at him? Surely they’ll think he’s gross and creepy regarding his choice of pet names, right? Wrong. Ensure to him that he doesn’t have to do anything that he isn’t comfortable with, and if anyone judges them then they’re just normies. He’ll love you forever.

Levi’s most used pet names for you are sunshine, cutie, snookums, goofball, and player 2

Sunshine is his personal favorite because humans seem to associate happiness with the sun, and you’re his main source of happiness. So why wouldn’t he call you that?

He also refers to you as his player 2 a lot. You’re not only his lover, but his best friend. His partner in crime. His Henry. 

Calling him pet names is undoubtedly one of your favorite things. He stutters, blushes such a deep shade of red, and tries to hide his face behind his hands. Please take ahold of wrists, move them from his face, take hold of his face, and place a kiss on his nose. You want Levi.exe to stop working? K.O’d? Do that.

Your favorite pet names for him are Leviachan, cutie, sweetie, handsome devil, baby boy, my sweet prince, etc. Anything that helps boost his confidence is a good pet name in your book.

During sex, Levi would hardly be able to form a coherent sentence, so I imagine your name would fall from his bitten lips like a mantra

If you’re into it, he would be down to call you master/mistress, 100%

Most of the time you call him baby boy and sweet boy and needy during sex. I HC that he’s very submissive and melts at your endearing yet dominating pet names for him.

We also know it’s canon that Levi has a degradation kink- so use it. Call him a whore, pervert, slut, needy bitch. He’ll let out the sweetest whines and whimpers.

“Levi, sweetie, I promise it’s okay. Nothing happened between Mammon and I. We just went shopping,” You gently explained to a very frazzled Levi.

He was sitting in his gaming chair, anime paused, arms crossed, avoiding your gaze, and pouting. A frown also adorned his troubled features.

He refused to answer you.

“Levi, please speak to me,” you tried again, reaching out to take ahold of his hand.

You offered your hand to him gingerly. He studied it for a moment, and then, with a blush beginning to spread across his cheeks, he complied and laced his fingers with yours. He heaved a sigh as you swiped your thumb against his hand soothingly.

“I know, MC. I trust you. It just makes my blood boil knowing you’re out with him instead of being with me....I don’t really blame you though, I guess. I’m a gross and yucky otaku. I wouldn’t want to hang out with me either,” he grumbled, his voice cracking near the end, along with your heart. You wished so badly he wouldn’t talk so down on himself all the time.

It was time to show Levi just how much he meant to you.

You surged forward to engulf your serpent-like boyfriend in a bone-crushing hug. He let out a squeak, his arms coming up in surprise.

“Leviachan, I wish you saw how much I love you. I love spending time with you. I love playing games with you. I love watching anime with you. I love listening to you rant and ramble about them. I love how passionate you are. You’re so cute when you get like that, yknow?” You murmured to him with as much love as you could muster.

Suddenly his arms were wrapped around you, hugging you tightly to him. He planted a kiss on the top of your head before nuzzling his nose into your hair.

“You normie,” he whispered, “you’re really too much. I think you’re the only person who can find my ranting endearing.”

You pulled away with a pretend frown on your face, lacing your fingers with his once more.

“Normie? Again? Really Leviachan? In what way am I a normie?” You prodded, grinning at him.

He blushed, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“I suppose you’re not really that much of a normie. You do nerd out with me, to be fair...” He grinned back at you- a genuine grin, at that. It warmed your heart.

Before you could say anything else, Levi surged forward to place a chaste kiss on your lips. It was gone as soon as it was there. You blinked, wide eyed at him. His face was ablaze- you didn’t think you had ever seen him so flushed. You didn’t even know he had the confidence in him to do that.

In a rare moment of softness, he whispered

“I love you, sunshine. I really do. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my player 2.” 

Satan:

Satan is the absolute best in the business at hiding his true intentions; after all, all smiles are an act

Except... you actually stir up feelings of love within him, and it drives his curiosity through the roof

He appears to be very confident so his brothers opinions don’t really matter to him. He’s also awfully petty, so I imagine he moreso uses pet names for you around them to simply dangle in their faces that only he can do that

That doesn’t change the fact that every time you use a pet name for him, hes face flushes an adorable red before he sorts himself out

His favorite pet names for you are sweetheart, kitten, darling, little kitty, gorgeous, wildflower, and my sweet girl/sweet boy

We all know this man is into pet play, so his most used nicknames for you are kitten and little kitty. During and not during intimate times. 

During sex, Satan calls you all sorts of endearing terms- he’s a master of dirty talking. It’s filthy yet simultaneously charming. Kitten, darling, and your name roll off of his tongue the most. If you’re into it, he will definitely degrade you, calling you a needy whore, filthy slut, cumslut, cumrag, fuck toy, you name it and he’ll use it. He’d most likely be opposed to calling you a bitch- it feels too hurtful for him.

You love to call him handsome, my bookworm, stud(teasingly), good looking, and babe/baby. Each and every one earns a chuckle and a momentary blush from him, so it’s definitely worth it. 

Want his attention when he’s too busy reading? Call out his name a few times- he can hear you, but he chooses to ignore you. Bring out the pet names and he’ll be burying his blushing face into his book, completely flustered. He takes a moment to compose himself before tutting at you. You interrupted his very important reading- how naughty.

When Satan’s feeling dominant, he’s dominant. He demands that you call him Sir or Master during sex. He doesn’t mind being called Daddy, but it doesn’t get him going quite like the other two do. When he’s feeling more submissive, absolutely call him your handsome boy. Pet gets him riled up as well- use it from time to time.

You couldn’t believe just how beautiful the sight in front of you was. The stars in the Devildom seemed to burn brighter and more fiercely than the ones in the human world. You were almost entranced by them, not wanting to tear your eyes away from the gorgeous nighttime sky.

That is, until you felt the hand that was holding yours give a gentle squeeze. You quickly turned your head to make eye contact with his emerald gaze. The main emotion you could see in Satan’s eyes was adoration, and suddenly your heart was being squeezed as well as your hand.

Here you were, taking a late night stroll in the Devildom with Satan, the night sky painted with deep clouds and bright stars, and he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He had taken you to what appeared to be a park. You walked along the path hand in hand as you took in every little detail. The deep greenish blue bushes were hiding little critters, the pond had a fountain that splashed around the deep blue water, there were bugs that looked and acted an awful lot like lightning bugs(Satan explained that they were practically the same except that these were called Hell Fire Bugs, were only found in the Devildom, and had little horns that adorned their head), there were giant flowers of golden and orange hues everywhere, and, to your delight, there was a little wooden bench sat right in the perfect spot.

“Satan, can we sit down?” You asked with a smile, motioning to the bench. “I love where it’s positioned; you can take in everything perfectly!” You peered up at him to see that a gentle smile was gracing his features. 

“Of course we can sit down, darling. Are your legs feeling tired of walking as well?” He pondered. After all, he wasn’t completely sure what a human’s threshold for walking distance was.

“Mm, a little bit,” you admitted, absentmindedly rubbing your arm. You’d gotten so caught up in his presence and the sights around you that you’d only just now noticed the beginning of a burning sensation in your legs.

“That’s a shame. I guess I’ll have to carry you to the bench then, huh, kitten?” He said, flashing you a sly smile.

Protests left your mouth but to no avail. You were already thrown over his shoulder, his long fingers resting on your bum, giving a gentle pat. He was comfortably warm, and you were lying if you said you couldn’t stay in his strong arms forever.

You were giggling, squirming, demanding that he put you down that instant- but you both knew how much you loved it. His grip tightened on you as a warning.

“Kitty, if you keep squirming, I’ll have to punish you. It’s not nice to deny my kind gestures.” He teasingly warned, giving a harsher smack to your bum. And at that, you huffed, but calmed down.

He gently set you down on the bench, caressing your face before sitting down next to you, reaching out to grab ahold of your hand once again. You gladly took his hand in yours, sighing contentedly as he swiped his thumb soothingly against yours.

You leaned in closer to him, pressing against his side, and placed a gentle peck on his cheek. His skin was so soft, so warm. Welcoming. You couldn’t have felt more safe, more comfortable, more at home than you did in this moment. He let out a light chuckle.

“Are you happy now?” He murmured, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you flush against his side. You curled your arms around his arm closest to you, resting your head on his broad shoulder. You breathed in deeply, taking in his calming scent. He smelled like old books and tea. “I couldn’t be happier.” You whispered out. Your heart was so full, you could hardly take it.

“Good, I’m glad,” He warmly responded, and began to absentmindedly play with your hair as you both enjoyed the scenery in a comfortable silence. 

“Hey, Satan?” You gingerly asked after a few minutes. He gave a hum in response.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” You admitted, feeling your face heat up.

He craned his neck to peer down at you, you pulling away gently to look at him.

“You truly are something else. You want to stay with me, a demon, forever? Are you sure about that?” He inquired, secretly hoping you wouldn’t backtrack. And you didn’t.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life. I love you.” You whispered back.

His only response were gentle hands coming up to cup your face, his lips softly melting against yours.

Asmodeus:

Naturally, as the Avatar of Lust, pet names are his forte. He calls you pet names about as often as he tries to cop a feel- so, very often

He loves using them in front of anyone and everyone, shame just isn’t a word in his vocabulary. He finds cute nicknames incredibly endearing and genuinely wonders why everyone doesn’t feel the same way about them.

He high-key expects you to use pet names for him as well. Let EVERYONE know he’s your beautiful boy, dammit. Its obvious but it makes him feel happy, so you’re more than willing to comply. 

His personal favorite pet names for you include, but aren’t limited to, cherub, dear, little darling, angel face, doll face, honey/hun, bunbun, love bug, lover, and mi amor. 

He simply loves to do anything and everything you want him to do to please you, but he expects the same energy in return. 

So, during intimate times, if you want him to degrade you he will. It just isn’t his favorite thing to do- he’d rather worship you and make you feel on top of the world with honey dripping words. Therefore, during sex, he prefers to call you darling, baby, baby girl/baby boy, princess/my prince, beautiful, etc. If you want him to call you mommy/daddy, master/mistress, or sir/madam, he absolutely will. Anything to please you.

Your pet names of choice for him include asmobaby, asmo, lover boy, cutie, beau, charmer, eye candy, heart breaker, heart throb, etc.

“How’s my favorite heart breaker doing?” “Feeling a little frisky, are we, lover boy?” “You see that absolute eye candy over there? That’s my boyfriend”

During sex, you call Asmo anything and everything you want. He’s down to try and do anything, so he’s all yours. He’ll do the same for you. However, he does love being praised- so please use praising pet names for him like gorgeous, handsome, sexy, etc

The most passionate and intense lover you will ever have, and his endless pet names are only the tip *wink wink* of the iceberg. 

For once in the Devildom, you were freezing. Your nose was numb, red, just an icicle, really. 

Asmo had dressed you up with a pompom hat, fluffy earmuffs, and a giant puffy coat with gloves to match in attempts to keep you warm in the Devildom’s famous ice rink. Of course, his entire outfit matched yours with a lovely complimentary color. He figured it was enough for him, so surely his little cherub was warm and snug, right? Wrong. Somewhat wrong, anyway. You were still cold and made a point to complain about it to Asmo. 

“Dear, I promise I will warm you up as soon as we leave, just please do this for me?” He begged, holding your gloved hands in his own. His pinkish-yellow hued eyes stared into your own hopefully, and you knew you could never turn down those puppy eyes of his.

He cheered excitedly when you agreed and took you by the hand over to the rink. He turned around to face you, an expectant expression on his face. He took your hand and placed his lips on the backside, winking up at you, before murmuring, “Watch and learn mi amor!”

With wide eyes you watched as Asmo skated off, moving with incredible balance and grace. Every move was intentional; he looked stunning in this state. Here he was, skating a lutz, an axel, a salchow, everything. He was professional level talented, and he never told you! And, oh, yes, you. You could skate, but not well. 

“Asmobaby, I didn’t know you were so talented at this!” You exclaimed as he approached you, an accomplished smile adorning his features. You skated over to him, his hand reaching out to grab yours as you skated together side by side.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I love how graceful it looks,” he responded, as you noticed how the tip of his nose was beginning to turn red. His breathing was still a little irregular, his breath coming out in puffs, the cold making the cloud of breath visible. He was so beautiful.

“Darling, if you keep staring at me like that, I won’t be able to control myself,” he teased, squeezing your hand.

You quickly averted your eyes, your face flushing at being caught.

“Oh, don't be embarrassed, MC! There’s nothing wrong with admiring beauty! I do it with you all the time, you know.” He winked, and you had to slap away a wandering hand, leaving a very pouty Asmo.

You attempted to get closer to give him a kiss to make up for it, but you lost your balance, falling right onto your bum. Asmo gasped, made sure you were okay, and then giggled at you.

“Asmo!! I just fell!! On ice!! And you’re laughing!” you feigned offense, resting your hand over your chest. “And I was going to give you a kiss, too!”

Asmo leaned down to help you up, murmuring, “You can’t help but fall for my charming self, hm, love bug?”, and pressed a loving kiss to your chilly lips. His nose bumped against yours, somehow still warm to the touch. You were so enraptured by his lips that you hadn’t even realized he’d gotten you back on your feet.

“How about we...continue this later?” Asmo whispered as you pulled away.

“Oh, you better. You promised to warm me up, lover boy” You huffed, beginning to skate off with him again. “Don’t have to ask me twice, doll. I’ll show you my love allllll night. Now, watch this next trick- it’s absolutely stunning!”

Beelzebub:

This wholesome boy honestly doesn’t understand pet names at first

“Why would I call you a baby, MC, you’re clearly a grown human??”

Even after you explain it to him, he still doesn’t really get it, but it makes you happy, and he’ll do anything to make you happy

When you tell him that he doesn’t have to call you baby/babygirl/babyboy, that he can use almost anything, he lights up.

“My cheesebur-” “No, Beel, anything but that”

Once he somewhat gets the gist of petnames, his preferred ones for you are love muffin, pumpkin, cookie, honey, sweetheart, gum drop, and cupcake

Occasionally calls you his cheeseburger just to enjoy your reaction

Please, please, please, don’t be mean about it. this baby's feelings are hurt so easily and he always means well 

You favorite pet names for him are Beel, beelzeburger,  big guy/big boy, bunny,/honey bun, bonbon, sweet boy, honeybee, Cookie Monster, and handsome

Each time you call him something other than his name, he blushes profusely, his lips upturned in a happy smile

Adores everything you call him, even if its incredibly cheesy because he loves cheese you chose those pet names for him specifically, and he feels honored

During sex, he’s so focused on how good it feels and trying to not hurt you that anything that comes to mind rolls off of his tongue when he speaks, which isn’t often

mainly calls you by your name, but he loves to use babygirl/babyboy if you like it

he also prefers for you to call out his name, as other names don’t really do much for him. if you’re into it, though, I'm sure he won't mind if you call him daddy. will be incredibly confused the first time you gasp it out though

“Huh? Is your father here? Or did you call me that? You’re not my child, though...?”

The music was loud- blaring, actually, and your head was beginning to ache.

Lord Diavolo was holding a party at his castle, with almost every one of his friends invited- it was a huge party. Everyone was sat down at tables or were out on the dance floor. Lucifer was chatting it up with Barbatos, Simeon, Luke(who was just following Simeon around), and Lord Diavolo, Satan was sipping some demonus while flipping through the pages of a book, absentmindedly chatting with Solomon, Mammon and Asmo were participating in some dance competition, Levi was playing his switch with his headphones on, and Belphie was napping on Beel’s shoulder. 

You were sitting at the table with Satan and Solomon, feeling particularly uninterested in their talk of spells and magic. The music was nice, and Mammon and Asmo looked like they were having fun, but you didn’t have the energy to tear it up on the dance floor. You heaved a sigh, feeling insufferably bored.

And that’s when your eyes landed on Beel. Belphie had his cow print pillow resting in the crook of Beel’s neck, snuggling himself into Beel. He was zonked. And poor Beel was munching on whatever food he had left on his plate, looking just as bored as you- at this rate, he wouldn’t have any food left, and soon. 

Making your mind up, you got up from the table and made your way over to Beel. As you got closer, Beel lifted his head at your approaching footsteps and smiled when he saw that it was you- you swore it made your heart beat faster.

“Gum drop! I was wondering when you would come over.” He smiled, motioning for you to take the seat next to him. Belphie continued to snooze on. 

“Actually, Beel, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the kitchen with me? Your supply on food is low, cookie monster ..” You murmured in his ear. He nodded, and went to wake up Belphie. Talking to him didn’t work, shaking didn’t work, nothing did. Beel carefully moved Belphie’s pillow on the table, his head now resting on Beel’s shoulder, and then gently moved Belphie’s head to rest on his pillow. He continued his little cat nap, completely unbothered. 

Beel stood up, took your hand in his, and led you to kitchen.

You lifted yourself up on the counter to sit, watching as Beel opened every cabinet and drawer, rummaging for something else to devour. He finally made his way to the fridge and freezer, and let out a delighted laugh when he discovered a pint of hellish nightshade ice cream.

“Wanna share?” He asked, smiling and showing you the ice cream container.

“Uh, Beel, can humans even eat nightshade? Won’t it kill me?” You inquired, fairly sure that nightshade would kill you dead.

“Oh, no, it won’t. Barbatos said there’s different kinds of nightshade that won’t hurt humans and Lord Diavolo made sure that everything here is human-proof!” He happily exclaimed, already grabbing two spoons. 

If it did kill you, well, that was Lucifer’s problem because you were gonna enjoy some ice cream with your boyfriend.

Beel began to happily eat the sweet treat, you taking bites whenever you could get your spoon in. He noticed you were having some troubles and shyly apologized, retreating his spoon so you could get a good bite.

And oh, you did. It was a heaping spoonful, resulting in ice cream getting on the corners of your mouth. You didn’t know why Beel was suddenly staring ravenously at you instead of the ice cream.

“You have ice cream on your mouth,” he murmured, leaning in closer to you, his face inches away from yours. Your breath sped up.

“Wanna help me clean it off?” Was all you needed to ask before his mouth was on yours, delicately licking off the ice cream. His hands rested gently on your waist, your own hands resting on his broad shoulders. He pulled back gently, a buzzing sound emanating from him.

“I always love your taste,” he exclaimed happily, blush spreading across his cheeks. 

You leaned back in for another syrupy sweet kiss, Beel all too happy to oblige.

Belphegor:

ah, our favorite eboy

he thinks pet names are cute and he really enjoys them, but he’ll never outwardly say that. he might mention it to you when you’re half asleep, though

gets all blushy blushy uwu when you use them around other people, but he doesn't mind. don't expect him to use them on you around other people, though- that's mostly for when you're alone

when he's really happy to see you or really sleepy he’ll use pet names for you regardless of who is around

he finds it to be very intimate so he likes keeping it to yourselves

his favorite pet names for you are dork, cuddle bug, star, teddy bear, and pillow pet

he loves stars and stargazing, and especially loves stargazing with you so he figured why not combine two things he loves and call you his star

he also loves to snuggle you, so you're practically his personal teddy bear- and he wouldnt have it any other way 

you're favorite pet names for him are cowboy, Little Dipper, cuddle monster, snuggle bug, belpharoo, belphie/belpie, and sleepy prince

during sex, belphie likes to call you his cowgirl when he's feeling more dom. he seems like a bratty power bottom/sub, so he’ll call you master/mistress, mommy/daddy if you like that, but he’ll give you shit for it. other than that, your name falls from his lips in breathy moans and whines

you tend to call him baby boy, sweet prince, brat, good/bad boy, naughty boy during sex. he loves being called a bad/naughty boy, PLEASE do it, it really gets him going 

You woke with a start, eyes blinking a few times as you looked around you. You had fallen asleep in the Planetarium. stargazing with Belphie. Oh yeah, Belphie. You turned your head to see he was still fast asleep, holding onto your arm with a death grip. You knew waking him would be fun.

“Belphie? Bellphiiieeeee...” You whispered in his ear, which earned you a little bit of stirring from him. 

“Belpharooooo, it’s wakey time,” You said a bit more loudly, beginning to rub his shoulder.

His eyes fluttered open sleepily, his amethyst gaze meeting yours warmly. He stretched his arms out with an adorably soft yawn, his shirt riding up to expose his soft yet toned abdomen. He gave you a sleepy smile.

“I love waking up to the sight and sound of you, teddy bear” he murmured out, clinging onto you once again, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Your own arm was wrapped around him, the other coming up to lazily play with his hair. He let out an almost purring sound, attempting to get as close to you as possible.

“Uh uh, Belphie, we can’t go back to sleep yet. We’re still in the Planetarium- let’s go to bed, okay my sleepy prince?” You cooed, patting his back to get him to sit up.

With a huff, he sat up, but demanded you pull him up by his arms, giving you the sweetest smile in return. He complained the entire way to his and Beel’s room, his hand gripping yours loosely as you lead him forward.

Beel wasn’t there when you arrived which disappointed you both a bit, but you figured he’d be back soon and with some snacks, too, so that was a plus.

Immediately Belphie flopped onto his bed, hardly giving you enough time to crawl into bed beside him before he cocooned himself with blankets. He turned to face you, eyes glazed over, and yawned once more. You yawned in return, the both of you giggling. His amethyst eyes never left you, even when his hair fell into his face. You gently brushed the strands of navy blue hair out of his eyes, giving him a soft smile as his own hand came up to keep your hand pressed against his face. He nuzzled into your hand, sighing happily, before you wrapped your arms around him loosely. 

“Goodnight, teddy bear” he murmured as you both drifted off to sleep once more.

A few hours had passed when you woke again , only to find that Belphie had not only pushed you to the edge of the bed, but had also stolen all of the covers and blankets. You were chilly without either of those. 

You shook him, earning a groan from the sleepy demon. 

“Belphie I love you but I swear I will execute you if you don’t give some blankets back” you lightheartedly threatened, opting to lay your body across his.

“I don't know what you’re talking about,” he murmured, nuzzling further into his pillows.

“Oh no, you don’t. I literally have no covers! You have all of them! I’m freezing!” you exclaimed desperately. 

He poked his head out of his cocoon, a mischievous glint in those amethyst eyes, his hair sticking up in random spots.

“If you want a blanket so bad, then come get one from me.” He dared you, a smile playing on his sleepy features.

You immediately began your assault by tickling his sides, which resulted in him laughing, gasping, and trying to swat you away. You began giggling with him, not stopping your violent attack on the poor helpless demon. Your torture went on for a few minutes before he finally gave in. 

“Okay, okay! I give in! You can have all the blankies you want, I swear!” he puffed out heavily, tears forming in his eyes from being tickled and laughing so much.

You smiled triumphantly as he let you into his little blanket cocoon, immediately becoming engulfed by warmth and his scent. You were waiting for both of your breaths to even out as you heard a low voice say,

“Hey, I know you guys love each other and all but it’s 4am and I’m kinda trying to sleep”

You looked at Belphie, holding back a giggle as he gave an apology to poor Beel. 

You snuggled up to Belphie once again, beginning to feel sleep take over your body for the 3rd time that day. You fell asleep before Belphie, so you never felt the soft kiss he planted on your forehead and the sweetest “I love you so much” he whispered in your ear.

I hope you enjoyed this! I loved finally writing for all of the brothers- It was so much fun figuring out how to incorporate their personality into my own writing style. Let me know if you’d like me to do a version of this with the undateables! As always, all feedback is appreciated. <3