...... i blame lux for this. and by blame lux for this i mean i 100% had the starting and ending thought for this idea but lux said something that accidentally spurred it. here on tumblr (at least for now) bcus i'm not married enough to the idea to write it in full but i also don't want to lose the vibe.
cw for self-harm/mutilation & blood, implied suicidal thoughts, and discussions of physical and emotional abuse, btw
The mirror was cruel.
The mirror had always been cruel to Lys, because it reminded her every day that she was alive and breathing and that she looked the way she did, enough like her father to make her mother hate her and enough like her mother to make her hate herself. Not that her mother ever needed an excuse to hate Lys or that Lys ever needed an excuse to hate herself, but the mirror reminded her of those particular flaws every time she bothered glancing at its surface. She was supposed to go to court today. Her door and windows had been locked shut to keep her from fleeing into the forest, such important matters were supposedly going to be discussed today, and so she needed to look "presentable" as per her mother's guidelines, lest she smack Lys upside the head and drag her out to be mocked by the other nobles.
Sometimes that happened anyway. They certainly seemed to love mocking her at any chance she got. There was still bruising on Lys's shoulder from where her mother had struck her last.
The mirror was making fun of her.
Staring at the mirror, pointlessly fussing with her hair to make it not a terrible, too-long mess, Lys's eye kept drawing to the tail violently swishing back and forth behind her. It was shorter than the tails of the elves around her (one of the things she was mocked for), hardly to the back of her knees and therefore bad at properly conveying all of the little intricacies that mattered so much to them and that always escaped her. Yet long enough to get in her way, orange and white like the hair on her head, a constant reminder that she was not human and not elf and something stranger than either one. It made her annoyance too obvious and gave her mother something to pull and -- and --
Lys always wanted to shatter the mirror. She'd done it, once, when she was 14 and angry and bitter, but the sting of glass shards on her hand was not a sensation she was ever going to forget nor did she want a repeat of. Besides, she was in no mood to argue with her mother more than necessary, as empty as she was feeling, and shattering the mirror was certain to cause a screaming match. Watching her tail in the mirror, though, was bubbling anger up to the surface that wanted to break something. She hated her tail. She hated what it stood for and what it meant. She hated that in another world it was an endearing, almost cute thing to have. She wanted it gone.
Her eyes flickered to her desk. She'd hidden a dagger in there a while ago, as... a last resort. One of the ceremonial ones the knights carried that were nonetheless sharp because a blade with no edge was an insult to elven craftsmanship, or some horseshit like that. That --
Lys knew she wasn't in her right mind, but perhaps she'd never been. Her right mind had been lost at sea long ago. Starved to death in this very bedroom. Was not there to stop her.
Her desk was a solid wooden thing. The dagger was clean and sharp and gleamed with beautiful gold inlays. Lys took her tail in hand and pinned as much of it as she could to the desk. She just needed -- she just had to -- This wasn't so different to --
The dagger made the distinct clunk sound as she remembered hearing in the kitchens, when she was young (free) enough to be allowed near the kitchens, of a butcher cutting through meat and into a cutting board. Pain and blood erupted as the damned tail under her hand twitched for the last time, and it took her a few seconds too long to start screaming. She always thought she had the scream of an animal, the screeches of a deer felled in the forest, the desperation of a thing that did not understand death until it was far too late. A thing not fit for pity.
Her tail was red, now. The white and orange both dyed by her cursed blood. Was that more beautiful? Would her mother accept red, pure red, smooth red, over her natural color?
There was blood on her hands and her dress and she knew her mother would be furious and she wondered if she would still have to go to court like this. Mutilated and disgusting. Perhaps she would die here.
Mostly, she screamed.
Foggywillow was in her room soon after that, and she screamed in horror too, the proper scream of a person horrified, and Lys felt the world go black.
She did not have to go to court. When she woke up, groggy and sore and in her own bed, the blood gone from her hands and room, her mother slapped her across the face and cursed Lys for being an idiot.
At least Lys had cut off enough of her tail to hide it under her coats.
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Differences between ( my ) Beastkin and Shifters ::
Beastkin ::
Will always have a feature of their Animal on their being on show.
Ears, Tail, Wings, Claws, Eyes, Scales - etc.
These are born with them from the get-go, they are not able to be put away and are always on full display.
Can transform into their Animal form, however in extreme stressful situations or states of mind, it is very hard for them to turn back without being in complete safety. It has been known for some Beastkin to be stuck for months in their animal form, often losing sense of their humanity half in the process. It is dangerous.
Have more animalistic natures compared to humans. They nest, they preen, they display when courting, etc. It is a little odd for humans to witness at times, but most of the time, common sense is on the side of all. Just don't say anything or make fun of them.
Having both animal brain and human brain, they have a conflict of dietary needs, ideals of how to be with others of their species etc. This feeds into the natures of Beastkin, some are very territorial, and it makes it hard to hold jobs. Some are aloof and some are discriminated against for simply being, EG; spiders, bugs, venomous snakes.
They are agile and a tad bit stronger than humans due to their Animal natures. Senses are heightened and, just, overall, better than humans due to this. However, they have a higher childbirth rate due to genetics and are often known for having big families to make as many as possible. Animals capable of 'litters' are often frowned upon, but also in awe of those animals that can only have one or two children at a time.
Shifters ::
Will have the ability to share parts of their Beast on their being.
EG; Ears, fangs, claws, eyes, tails… however, they are not always permanent, they can be shifted at will depending on how 'trained' they are as a species. ( In Zviad's case, he is a homunculus creation - fixed with his feline features. )
They tend to think of their 'other sides' as 'Monsters' 'Beast' 'Other Heart' 'Other Mind', as they are two of the same whole but two very different things. The Human side is the thoughts and calculated process of mingling in life, whilst the Beast is the instinctual monster that knows how to look after itself when in danger.
Senses are shared, heightened and acute - but can be very overbearing for the 'human side' this side effects are often found in them. EG: light sensitivity for reptiles, migraine inducing hearing from wolves, etc.
They are stronger than humans and beastkin, due to the sharing of muscular structures and recovery healing from shifting forms. A tougher muscle mass / skin / fat build is often noticed with Shifters.
Animalistic Natures are more reactive, violent and less provoked by the need to use it. Growling, snarling, hissing - are reactionary of the Beast within to the Human's current threat. A Beast will recognize their mate in distress and will croon / purr to soothe them, like a human would hum for a crying person.
Transformation is the loss of oneself, sealing away one part of them - to allow the other side full control. Whether this means waking up in a bloodbath or sitting in a dog crate under a full moon, for some species, depends on their level of practised control. Shifters tend to have one - two forms to take. A mix of animal and man, bipedal monsters. Or full animal formed, wolf, cat, bear.
There has been tales of a third form, which is rare but often not recorded due to the sheer secrecy of them.
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On Salem’s Religion.
Her practice is a highly syncretic form of Ruakhian polytheism (although it would also not be inaccurate to say that Ruakhian polytheism evolved from her practice).
The underlying cosmology imagines a tripartite cosmos: there are three primordial realms, one of water, one of fire, and one of earth, whose confluences give rise to the younger realms, Remnant among them. At the center—the soul of all things—is the place-that-is, which is also called the river or the forge.
(It is a key tenet of this belief system that there is only one soul, and it is fractal; some beings have smaller souls than others, but all are the same soul because they are self-similar parts of the soul, which is the place-that-is.)
The historical Ruakhian pantheon was arranged loosely into five houses: the gods of fire, of earth, of water, of the soul, and of the world. (Sometimes seven, with dark and light, but Salem does not hold to this view.) On top of this core, Salem has adopted many new gods over the centuries.
These are the major deities she worships:
Gods of the Soul.
These are not the rulers per se, but they’re the eldest of the gods and given special deference accordingly. As they dwell in the place-that-is, the gods of the soul are reached from within; offerings made to them are ritually consumed.
Lombe, the Artisan, is primarily a god of craft: spinning and weaving, pottery-making, wickerwork, metallurgy, musical instruments. Salem also regards her as a hearth-god.
Shrithe, the Walker, is a god of stillness and motion: he is associated with the winter and with way-finding. He is also the death-god of chief importance in the Ruakhian afterlife, as the dead rested with him and received his guidance before beginning the long ascent through the primordial realms back to the waking (living) world.
Kané, the Singer, is a god of secret knowledge, song, poetry, and the written word. Alone of the elder gods, it touches the waking world as the breath of life and wind that moves the stars; many of its rites pertain to augury and haruspicy.
Margh, the Sleeper, most enigmatic of the elders, is a god of magic, selfhood, memory, dreams, and emotion.
Gods of Water.
The realm of primordial water is called the Wending Sea. It is the lowest realm, flowing beneath the skin of the world—Salem locates her realm, the one formed by her semblance, in the Wending Sea. These gods receive libations of saltwater, blood, atrum, or dark wine, and all have associations with grimm.
Striga, the Witch of the Wilds, is a god of witchcraft and war, storms and wildfires, rot and rebirth. She is the herald of the moon-god and associated with bloodshed of all kinds, including childbirth. Salem has fully divorced her own worship from the historical identification of Striga as herself. But this is why her emblem is called the Sigillum Strigis.
Ictifex, the Night Wyrm, is a god of darkness and underground things: caverns and sinkholes and the like, but also worms and burrowing creatures. He is formed from the cast-off skin of the serpentine Shrithe, and his is the death of water. When the dead traverse the Wending Sea, Ictifex hunts for them, and if he finds them and bites them, they will return to the waking world as grimm.
There are eight minor gods of water; the eight most common grimm morphs of the Taiyin Steppe are named for them: Ursai the Bear, Matagot the Lion, Khorkhoi the Viper, Almasty the Ape, Tulpar the Wind-Horse, Corocotta the Hyena, and the winged dog Chamrosh.
Gods of Earth.
The realm of primordial earth is called the Garden of Thorns. Its position relative to the others is somewhat vague—historically, it was often placed below the Wending Sea, but Salem thinks of it as a sort of cosmic membrane: the skin of the world and the skin of the sky. Whether these gods receive libations or burnt offerings varies; the libations are mostly of wine or blood, the offerings mainly in the form of animal sacrifice.
Omadios, the Vulture, is a god of wild things and wild places, of the hunt, and of hunger. She is the wilderness; hers is the death of earth. If the dead rising from the Wending Sea are unmarked by Ictifex, she will call out to them, inviting them to join her revelries; should they choose to partake, they will return to the waking world as faunus. Ruakhian tradition held that your animal patron was the thing you ate in the Garden.
Shiqmá, the Shrike, is a god of herds and the slaughter—the domestic counterpart of Omadios, in a sense. She was sung into being by Kané, and shares its association with poetry and language.
Erlik, the Wolf, is a war-god and a god of wrath, vengeance, horsemanship, and destruction. He is a companion of Striga and the mountain-smith; earthquakes are the reverberations of his hammer, and volcanoes are his forge.
There are ten minor gods of earth: the Crow, the Sparrow, the Hawk, and the Pheasant; the Hare, the Ferret, the Horse, and the Fox; the Snake and the Spider.
Gods of Fire.
The realm of primordial fire is called the Wailing Sea. It is the uppermost realm, burning white and gold above the skin of the sky. These gods receive burnt offerings, primarily of herbs, flowers, or wood.
Mar, the Moon, is a god of truth, justice, atonement, oaths, and mourning. They are the creation or offspring or a dream of Margh, and theirs is the death of fire. When the dead climb up from the skin of the sky to travers the Wailing Sea, Mar sees them through the sundered gate—the maw of the broken moon—and, to those for whom they weep, they offer the secret of silver.
Caleb, the Sun-Holder, is a hearth-god and god of familial bonds and healing. The sun itself is a clay lantern shaped by Lombe, which holds the life-giving fire. Salem regards him as a god of plantings and the harvest as well—agriculture featured very little in Ruakhian culture, but she gardens.
Iskra, the Vermilion Witch, is a god of mirrors, firelight, aura, and falling stars. She is a companion of Striga, and something of a stricter counterpart to her: scorched earth to the wildfire, dust-conjured lightning to the thunderstorm.
There are twelve minor gods of fire, represented by the constellations of the ecliptic.
Gods of the World.
Remnant is the waking world, the land of the living, the place without. Most of its gods are small: spirits of a mountain or a river or a household, culture heroes, ancient grimm, tutelaries, and the like. The roster of Salem’s big gods hasn’t expanded very much—when she does adopt new deities as gods of water, earth, or fire, she more often approaches them as new aspects of her own gods—but she has, by now, literally thousands of small gods. Some of them are very small indeed. Those that follow are only the most important to her.
Samandar Khan was her son and the founder of Ruakh; he began to receive cult after his death. Salem doesn’t worship him exactly, but she keeps a shrine and practices his rituals as a way to, at least symbolically, keep him alive. She calls him Irem when she is feeling sentimental.
Sykites was the tutelary deity of Irem’s deme before their decimation and continued to be his patron and that of his family, Salem included.
Kultarinta the Bear is a culture hero of the Glass Folk of northwestern Sanus, a warrior variously attested as an ursine faunus or a shape-changing turnskin. (She was both: Salem taught her shapeshifting.) At the end of the Third Era, she killed Patricius Eternus, put the Circle, his fanatical cult, to the sword, and became the second summer maiden in the process. Worship of her as a bear-god persists into the modern day among the Glass Folk as well.
Valravne is the leviathan of the Evernight horde: an ancient nevermore as massive as the wyvern of Mountain Glenn. Grimm of such size are invariably hollowed out into living hives by their hordes, and they are to grimm hordes somewhat akin to what culture heroes are to people. All of them are very, very old. (Monstra, incidentally, was not a leviathan: Salem hauled the corpse of an actual dead whale out of the Tarth Sea, marinated it in an atrum reservoir for several months until the meat was all mostly grimmified, and then started sculpting. Monstra was a battleship.)
Vangtand, Knaggli, Náttfari, and Turibriga are four of the five tallest peaks in the world: Evernight perches on an escarpment between Náttfari and Knaggli, with Turibriga accessible through the pass to the north and Vangtand—the highest of all—piercing the sky beyond that. Salem’s horde nests in all four mountains and has excavated a vast labyrinth beneath (and pushing up into) these mountains; the peaks have become more or less equivalent to household gods—horde gods, as it were.
Balfyr is an important deity in the folk religion of the Vitrine Peninsula: a god of the ghastly ‘witchfire’ often seen at night in the marshes and bogs that dominate the region, traditionally held to be the lost souls of the newly-dead; Balfyr is a psychopomp who gathers these wandering spirits and guides them home. Salem has adopted them as a guardian of Alukah’s wetlands.
Tarth is the name of both the cold sea to the east of Alukah and the monstrous grimm that makes its home in the depths. Tarth is, by a wide margin, the biggest grimm in the the world: an eel-like behemoth massive enough to swallow an Atlesian dreadnought whole. Salem reveres her as a living manifestation of the sea and its dangers.
& On Belief and Realness.
Salem takes all of this very seriously. While she’s perfectly aware that little of it is accurate in the strict factual sense—and she’ll never shy away from factually discussing the Brother Gods and her ‘Elder Gods’ (which, being aspects of the Tree, do exist)—she feels it is all real in every way that matters.
Namely: she finds meaning and spiritual fulfillment in her beliefs, and her rituals work, and it feels true in some essential way that ancient worship of the God of Light (and Darkness, from a distance) didn’t. Ipso facto, it is true in some essential way that is deeper and more important than factual correctness.
Outside of contexts where factual accuracy is of crucial importance, i.e. recounting what the Brothers did and/or discussing Ozma’s mandate, she makes not the slightest distinction between gods who exist and gods who don’t. It does not matter to her.
She is going to start worshipping the spirits in the relics as soon as they’re freed and integrate the Ever After and the Tree into her cosmology, as parts of the Garden of Thorns, once she learns about them. None of this remotely fazes her; she merely slots new information or new gods wherever they fit best into her existing belief system.
Her actual praxis is exactingly methodical and constructed around reciprocity—do ut des. The purpose of every act of propitiation, every prayer, every vow, and every ritual is to either receive something in return or repay a favor in kind. Broadly speaking, her rituals do work even when her gods do not actually exist because she’s had thousands upon thousands of years to figure out how to make things happen, whether by creating the conditions that will cause it or by magic; that knowledge undergirds her religious praxis.
(Salem’s absolute disdain for the God of Light is less a response to his cruelty in and of itself than it is his violation of that reciprocity, not by refusing but by brutally punishing her for asking at all; likewise, although her feelings about him are complicated, she made her peace with what Darkness did to her long ago and began to worship him in memoriam because he did act reciprocally before his brother intervened.)
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