#mags tf2

[asofterfortress]

[December 4th 2014, "Unhappy Returns" was released.]

[zvarricopter]

ominously whistles In The Hall of the Mountain King

[cheemscakecat]

Bruh, they did not have to do Scout this Dirty

Mags less so, but Hale was out of pocket. Blud really called Scout an it and a rat-boy. And you know what’s crazy?

They’ve met before, in person. Saxton used Scout as a human baseball bat against his will. And he’s one of Helen’s mercenaries. But Hale not remembering other people tracks:

Naw. And that would’ve been a strong guy if Mags married him, no wonder Hale treats skinny people so much worse. It’d really stink to have your irresponsible ex forget going to your husband’s funeral. Maggie’s smart for trying to make it work with someone else and resist the urge to get back with him.

Also before I forget:

POV Spy watching a roided up Australian grab his son and gallop off into the jungle brush at inhuman speed. [He ain’t gonna catch them]

[ultimate-valve-character]

Loser's Round 3: Match 61

Mags would have been left without a match, so here's to all 3 Hoopy fans: it's back in.

[bloodiedbearwoman]

I drew this a while back!! there's you!!

Ah, miss Pauling. I suppose she deserves recognition as well. And is that woman who helped us to kill all of the robots back when I first joined mercenaries? She was great, I hope to meet her again soon so we may fight!

[neo-my-geo]

WHAT'S ADMIN LIKE IN THIS AU❓ SAME FOR SAXTON AND THE MANN BROTHERS

Admin and the Mann brothers are all gods of seasons! They've been in a familiar petty power struggle for the last few millennia, with the goddess of spring being the only one who doesn't want any part of it.

Saxton is an adventurer under the spring goddess who spends most of his time fighting big game. He keeps in contact with Pauling, occasionally bringing members of the guild along on hunting trips.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

what do you think the mercs fac bands are

Hmm I've thought about this but I really only have a few answers, which are that Sniper's favorite band is the Doors (period accurate) and Scout's favorite band is the Beastie Boys (anachronistic but the most correct I've ever been about anything)

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

Out of Order

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/41309190

by sonnenkern

At the annual RED conference (which is more like a big party for the shareholders of Mann Co), Bidwell drinks a little too much and ends up kissing his boss. After a long sleepless night, he fears he is going to lose his job once and for all. But Saxton Hale has other plans and doesn’t even seem to mind. Quite the opposite to his wife Maggie.

Words: 1871, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Saxton Hale, Mr. Bidwell (Team Fortress 2), Mr. Reddy (Team Fortress 2), Mags (Team Fortress 2), Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Saxton Hale/Mags, Mr. Bidwell/Saxton Hale, Administrator/Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2)

Additional Tags: saxwell, Bidwell and Pauling are best friends, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, kiss, Drunken Kissing, Secret Crush, going full business man fantasy, A little bit of Drama, Silly, over dramatic, maggie filed for divorce, Divorce, Getting Ready, bidwell has his life together, but not as much as he thinks, fear of losing job, bidwell has a crush on saxton, Maggie breaks up with saxton, reddy is just Vibing honestly, unbothered mr reddy, hinted at Pauling and helen, drunk at a party, One Shot, this ship needs attention, I Will Go Down With This Ship, bidwell is scouts brother btw, Headcanon, saxton is actually a softie, You can't convince me otherwise, No Smut

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/41309190

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Scout NSFW HEADCANNONS +18

Slimey horny 16 y/o energy, hides his porn mags under his mattress and likes to talk to the imaginary girl bouncing on his dick this is canon and you can't convince me otherwise.

Again, mutters to himself, even in his wet dreams. Although, in his dreams he usually busts to the idea of fucking another dude on the battlefield to assert his dominance. It's a little cheesy, but he likes the ego boost when he's asleep

When he's awake he megapanics about the gay dreams and convinces himself that it's like- totally straight. A girl he banged a few years ago talked about dream interpretation once- it just means he has a power craving!

Has tried jerking off to men but he was so stressed out it killed his boner.

dick size: nothing to write home about tbh but it's fine i guess.

Jerks off often and needs it pretty bad, amazing recovery time tho. One time he stole Spy's weed stash and was absolutely trashed on horny vibes. Gotta say, jerking off high was almost worth the backstab he got for smoking the weed.

Has a bondage, lingerie, and feminization kink. he wants to have someone pretty all tied up and squirming in something femme for him- doesn't matter the gender presentation. He's got some internalized misogyny that he needs to work out (fuck it out of him fuck it out of him tie him up and fuck it out of him while you're in the lingerie)

[zvarricopter]

happy late 4/20 have Konstantine getting high - WAIT NONONONO THAT'S SUPER DANGEROUS STOP STOP STOPPPPPP

[ibraidedmybootyhairs]

Can I be honest with you tf2 community I hate all sniper ships like he just strikes me as an aroace like yeah he jacks off daily at gay porn mags but he would never have sex with anyone irl

[jevilowo]

Conceptualising! Plotting! Theorising!

What if in Tf2 comic 7 Olivia summons the Horseless Headless Horseman? I'm pretty sure HHH was supposed to protect the Manns and she is like. The last one left. So.

Helen's debt has sOMETHING to do with the Darling-Mann connection (Redmond, Blutarch and Gray's mother, Bette, was a Darling, as shown on their birth cert), I swear.

My favourite connection theory is "Bette had an affair (cough cough Barnabus was the only one to mourn her cough they totally did it cough cough) and Charles was the result of that", which would make Charles technically a Mann and technically eligible to inherit Mann Co.

He would have no qualms on JAGUAR ATTACKing Olivia and this is where my favourite boy HHH comes in FIGHT TO THE DEATH OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!

Meanwhile the mercs are having a kickass party to celebrate the events of comics 1-6. Heavy and Medic are making out sloppy style in one corner. Soldier and Zhanna are doing the same in another. Scout's Ma is here and both Spy and Pauling (she deserves a positive interaction with another woman damnit!!) are frothing at the mouth. Scout is doing the Shinji pose.

Dell is haunted by visions (Fred is alive probably). Pyro will not let go of him. Everyone who hasn't died yet gets to, as a little treat. Probably because of the aforementioned jaguars.

Cmedic shows up because that is a whole thing that hasn't been referenced yet. Maybe he is Charles. That would be deranged idk why I typed that. Saxton and Mags are making out in yet another corner.

Chell and Gordon show up. Gman says some shit like wake up and smell the jarate mister freeman and they all get jarated and Kleiners stupid teleporter brings them back.

The comic ends with HHH adopting Olivia because they both deserve nice things. They bond over a shared enjoyment of Running A Business. Merasmus shows up for three seconds to yell at Soldier for killing the beatles or some shit. I personally hit Gaben in the face. The end.

[skojukebox]

My dumbest headcanon is that when Tangle really gets into a fight she just turns into the TF2 scout. Imagine badniks mag dumping at her and missing while she parkours all over the room going "You'll never hit me! You'll never hit my tiny little head! It's so freakin' tiny!"

[ultimate-valve-character]

Round 2: Match 62

[aerowolf]

okay I need an intro post so finally yeah here we go

hi if you're curious i also run @thefencertf2 and @ilikeclipboards i have other blogs but those are my tf2 oc and miss Pauling asks blogs

Table of Contents

About Me

Fic Requests and Masterlist

Full fics ( non headcanon multiple part or short story style, usually also on other sites, mostly personal but occasional requested )

About

hihi !! She/Her cishet demi-ace fem !!!! I am a teenage minor

Name is Jasper ( Jas for short ) ( or Ivy to any mutuals and friends ) and my brain is literally just BABYMETAL, Zelda, Star Trek, XFiles, Ninjago, Audrey Hepburn ATSV and TF2 help it’s just brain rot eagggagahdhfjdjehebr

I draw sometimes I am also a MAJOR Scout simp like idk I'm mentally ill about this man please don't ask how many photos i have of him or how many times I've drawn him and definitely don't look up my tf2 art tag ( also bidwell kinda fine yk )

Miss Pauling is girlboss and deserves the world so do Scout's Ma, Zhanna and Mags. The administrator is womanfailure and needs to die.

all my art falls under either #ivytf2art or #my art

Fic Reqs & Masterlist

i only write tf2 ATM. what I'll write and how to request can be found here

MASTERLIST:

romantic x reader:

the mercs realizing their s/o still sleeps with a plush

includes: Engineer, Heavy, Demoman, Medic, solo interactions | format: headcanons/story | warnings: alcohol/drinking/drunk mentions on Demo’s section, very minor mentions of cadavers, blood, saws, etc in Medic's | type: sfw fluff & comfort, merc x f!reader, physical affection, forehead kisses, pet names, established relationship

fem!reader meets scout's family for the first time

includes: Scout, Scout's Ma, Scout's brothers, collective interaction. | format: headcanons/story | warnings: n/a | type: sfw fluff & comfort, merc x f!reader, words of encouragement, affirmations, physical affection, established relationship

platonic x reader:

the mercs realize it's your bday and you didn't tell anyone because your family doesn't do birthdays

includes: Miss Pauling & Offense Classes, solo | format: headcanons/story | warnings: n/a | type: fluff

platonic canon x canon:

romantic canon x canon:

nonship:

Dadspy Headcanons

includes: Spy, Scout's Ma mentions | format: headcanons, no story | warnings: absent father/abandonment etc | type: mostly just fluff or sad fluff

FULL FICS

Army Dreamers

Scout's mother, Marie Jones, receives a letter telling her that her son, her beloved Jeremy, is coming home early from the war, riding in a pine box.

WARNING: there will be thoughts of suicide. it will not occur, and the character will be comforted.