#mainly bc i dont want to be speaking out of my ass obviously

[alloganes]

miscellaneous murata notes. because i do not trust hyv

first and foremost, murata is not pale. do not trust or perceive whatever white woman hoyo is going to put out. murata's ethnicity is analogous to that of the mēxihcah people, who were an ethnic group present in the mexica empire. similar to the depictions of the children of murata in the webcomic, murata has darker skin and red hair.

she's also genderfluid and goes by all pronouns. they can change their form into whatever they please and although they tend to present androgynously anyways, they can present either masculine or feminine. they tend to use he/they pronouns when presenting masculinely and she/they pronouns when presenting femininely, but really, they do not care.

their true form is a dragon similar to a deity named quetzalcoatal and several of their draconic features shine through to their human form. her nails are pointed, she has longer and sharper canines and lateral incisors, and some parts of her hair can easily be described as feather-like.

wasn’t always affiliated with war. they were, however, always at the side of the first god of war and always fought by his side in combat. prior to ascending to the role of pyro archon, murata was a god of life. although they were a fearsome foe, they were highly valued on the battlefield for saving and preserving the lives of their soldiers. additionally, he was seen as the patron god of priests.

he has several titles attributed to his name. to his people, his official title is the huēyi tlahtoān. his gnostic name is eligos. otherwise, he is known as the god of war, the god of victory, the pyro archon, and the feathered serpent.

i am really toying with the idea that murata has full presidence over the capital of natlan and that the capital is a neutral ground for the nation. there are strict laws of war in the nation and the capital is absolutely off limits for any sort of battle. also toying around with murata's throne perhaps being up for grabs for anyone capable of defeating him, but so far, nobody has come close.

aside from their status as god of war and victory, murata is also seen as a god of agriculture, medicine, and astronomy in their nation. astronomy in particular is a great field of study in natlan and that's primarily thanks to murata.

[etherealino]

problems – lmh

synopsis: you would always have problems on minho’s girlfriends. that was until you realized you were the problem.

genre: college au. f2l. fluff, angst.

warning(s): cursing, you might cringe at how cliché this is

word count: 6,920 omg pls be proud

a/n: bullet point form. i’ll write in bullet point if i can’t seem to find it in myself to write in a whole ass paragraph form. bear with me, this is the first time im actually posting a full ass fic hdfbdfj for skz, that is. please dont let me flop thanks :<

you and minho are the very best friends

since high school

you don’t even remember how the two of you became best friends

all you remember is that one day, you’re laughing so hard at his jokes

and ever since that, you two were inseparable

whenever minho’s absent, you would be on the corner sulking

other kids would be offering you to come with them

but no you wanted minho :((

but you also didn’t want to be rude so you end up going with them

lmao you

but when you were the one who’s absent, minho would be pouting all day

he won’t talk bcs he wants you to be the one whom he tells his stupid jokes to

but he would go with the other kids too

but he would still be pouting

when you both graduated, you both went camping

went to the highest place you both know

watched the sunrise together

but now you two are in college

it’s also when minho started to go out

every month, different girl

minho would always introduce them to you

minho’s eyes would always light up as you and the girl would talk

and when she leaves

minho would ask for your opinion

but you always answered the same

“my opinion doesn’t matter, go date who you want to.”

and minho would always response the same

he pouts

you don’t know why either

but you would always just find a problem

in

each

and

every

girl

he

dates

one was kinda mean

one was possessive of minho

one eats loudly (do that in front of me and i’ll kick you to mars)

one was too snobby

one was too shy

and everytime

it’s always the girl who breaks up with him

and everytime you ask him, he would response the same

“we just don’t click” and then minho would smile

and here you are now, in jisung’s dorm

ranting on him about a girl minho is now currently dating

you sat on his computer chair as he sat on his bed

you were a bit shrunk down

arms resting on the armrest

on thumb on your teeth as you looked at the ground

“are you sure she’s the problem?” jisung asks

you looked up at him, an eyebrow raised in confusion

“who else would be? minho? minho does nothing but to please the girl. it was irritating to watch. i could slap the hell out of her.” you said

you weren’t a war freak

but with minho, you could go into war just for him

jisung chuckles. “not minho.” jisung says and then he points at you

“me?!” you said. “why me?”

jisung smiles, “how the hell do you manage to find a problem in each and every girl minho dates?” jisung asks. “i mean, so far the most stupid i’ve heard from you was the girl was too kind. seriously, y/n.”

“but it was true! she was too kind, it’s too irritating. and when you look at her do her good deeds, it doesn’t even seem sincere.” you ranted, glaring at the ground

jisung looks at you. “are you hearing yourself?”

“obviously,” you said, rolling your eyes

jisung giggles. “seriously, y/n. think about it. how the hell do you manage to find a problem on each and every single girl that minho dates?”

you sigh, looking at the ceiling

“i just want someone who would treat minho right. i want someone who deserves him.” you said

“and what kind of girl is that?” jisung asks

“the opposite of the girls he dated.” you answered, looking at him

“you?” jisung says and you just stared at him

“what are you implying?” you asked

“that you’re in love with your best friend.” jisung says

you stared at jisung, silence falling the atmosphere as jisung only smiles at you

you were unable to speak

you never thought of that

but no, you’re not in love with your best friend

you’re just shocked that jisung would assume that

the silent atmosphere was mixed with a tension

you don’t know what to say

you don’t know what to do

“HELLO, JISUNG!” hyunjin greets as he slams the door open

you blinked twice, standing up as you picked your wallet and phone from the computer desk

“oh, hi, y/n.” hyunjin greets with a grin. “what are you talking about? minho again?”

there are times when hyunjin would be with you and jisung when talking about minho

and being honest, jisung and hyunjin were the ones who you trusted the most

other than minho

but mainly about the minho fiasco

hyunjin and jisung looked at each other

jisung smiling at hyunjin and then hyunjin gets it

“oh, finally realized that you’re in love with minho?” hyunjin asked

and you grabbed a pillow from jisung’s bed, throwing it at hyunjin

“i’m not in love with minho. ew.” you said, dramtically shuddering

“deny it all you want, everyone could see it, love.” hyunjin says, winking at you

jisung laughs and you lightly punch jisung on the arm

“i’ll be going now.” you said with a sigh

“good night, y/n.” jisung says

“good night, mrs. lee—i mean, ms. y/l/n.” hyunjin teasingly said

you punched hyunjin on his arm as you past by him

he dramatically falls on his bed, clutching on his arm

“ouch!” hyunjin shrieked

“good night, boys. thank you.” you said

“anytime.” jisung says as he stands up and tackles hyunjin on the bed

you giggle lightly as you closed the door of their dorm

you turn to the direction of your dorm

and you immediately plopped into your bed since you were on your pajamas already before you left to go to jisung’s and hyunjin’s

you thought to yourself as you lay there

are you really in love with your best friend?

you shuddered at the thought and turned to your side

you see the cat plushie minho gave you on your birthday

you sigh as you hugged it

you close your eyes as jisung’s word repeated again and again in your head

“are you sure she’s the problem?”

nonetheless, you let slumber take you

for weeks you watched minho go around, pleasing the girl

you could see right through minho that he gets irritated by it

but still he faced you with a smile

you were mad

what riled you up the most is when you and minho were having lunch together and she rudely went up to minho to force him to do her homework because she has to go out tonight

i repeat, force

not ask

you see minho look at her blankly

you trust minho enough to know his self-worth

“i can’t,” minho says. “i have my own homework.”

“so? do it both.” she says and minho rolls his eyes

“i can’t. i have a lot on my plate right now.” minho calmly says and she rolls her eyes

“have a lot on your plate?” she repeats and then she turns to you. “why do you keep hanging out with her—looking time to hang out with her if you ‘have a lot on your plate’?”

“not here.” minho grits as he shakes his head

minho’s girlfriend rolls her eyes and leaves the both of you

you were stunned, but you were so irritated

you could feel minho’s eyes on you but you looked down at your food

“i swear, she used to be nice when we first started dating.” minho says, probably read through you that you were getting mad

“i’m not mad at you, don’t worry.” you said and a sigh leaves your lips

“i don’t even understand. she used to be really nice.” minho says with a sigh

“i never saw it.” you admitted and minho looks at you

“when you introduced me to her, all you did was try and please her so she wouldn’t get pissed or something. i knew it from the very start.” you said and minho nods

“why didn’t you say anything?” minho asks

“i told you, it’s your life. date who you wanna date.” you said. “you probably must’ve seen something in her that i didn’t.”

it was the first time you voiced out to minho that you have a problem with his girlfriend

should you tell him about the past ones as well?

eh, it doesn’t matter

minho nods, understanding your point of view

later that night, you crashed once again in hyunjin’s and jisung’s dorm

“just admit it, y/n.” jisung says. “you’re in love with your best friend.”

“i don’t have anything to admit because that is not how i feel.” you said and hyunjin snickers

“i never heard any other problem from but minho.” hyunjin says and you stare at him

“well, he’s my best friend.” you said with a pout

“whom you’re in love with.” jisung says and you sigh, shaking your head

then your phone dings

you look down to see minho messaged

“can we hang out? are you in your dorm?”

you immediately stood up from jisung’s computer chair

hyunjin’s and jisung’s eyes on you

but you stopped your movements

you stare at minho’s message, then towards you, particularly at nothing

“what is it, y/n?” hyunjin asks

and then another ding

“hey, where are you? i’m outside your dorm.”

most likely, it’s another breakup

you would lie to yourself when you say that you’re not tired of it anymore

you’d always run to your dorm just to see if minho’s alright

you’d always drop everything that you’re doing just for minho

even if he just woke you up at 3 in the morning

you typed a reply, hitting send as you sat back on jisung’s chair

“i’m sorry, i can’t, min. :( i’m in my friend’s dorm. she needs help with something.”

if you were being honest, you’d always drop any friend that needs your help just to go to minho

you locked your phone, putting it in silent mode as you placed it on jisung’s desk behind you

you turned to hyunjin and jisung who were curious at your sudden movements

“so how have you guys been?” you asked them

“what happened, y/n?” jisung asks

“nothing, it’s just, hyunjin’s right.” you said and hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “enough about minho, enough about me. how are you two?”

hyunjijn and jisung looked at each other with doubt in their eyes

but they thought it was good for you to take your mind off of minho, too

so, they talked

“i woke up with a big lizard on my head.” jisung answers

  the next morning you found out his girlfriend broke up with minho

it was the best for minho anyway

you hung out less with minho

but you still reserved lunch for him

but that was it

but it was also very hard

when minho happens to bump into you during your vacant

the thing you hate the most is most of your vacant is his as well

you only have one vacant that didn’t much with minho’s

so, you saved those time slots for minho

vacant periods and lunch

,,,,, and weekends

it was hard to avoid minho

you don’t even know why are you avoiding minho

so here you two are

saturday night after you both went around town to forget all the stress that college gives

you and minho were laying on your bed, bodies facing each other with an arm underneath your head, same with minho

watching three stooges

minho giggles loudly at one scene

“i remembered when you and i were messing around and then suddenly your index and middle fingers were coming for my eyes. i really thought you were going to hit my eyes.” minho says with his giggles that you love so much, your heartstrings tugging

what

“i got the trick from this movie.” you informed him and minho hums

“remember when i put chili in your—“

your eyes shifted on minho, seeing him with eyes close

breathing even

he was probably tired

he was the one who asked you to go out with him

but you were the one who got excited and drag him everywhere

minho was sleeping peacefully, the tv’s dim light was enough for you to see minho’s sharp features

unconsciously, but gently your fingers ran through his features

your fingers stayed longer on his lips

then your move your hand to his hair, brushing it back, revealing his forehead

he was fucking beautiful

you wanted to appreciate him, litter kisses all over his face as you cup his cheeks on your hands

but he wasn’t yours to appreciate

wait, fuck

oh, no

you are in love with your best friend

  you woke up, eyes fluttering open

how,,,

did,,,

you,,,

end,,,

up,,,

in,,,

minho’s,,,

arms ???

minho’s arm underneath your neck, your head pressed on the crook of his neck

minho’s other arm around your frame, your arm was over his torso and your legs underneath the cover were tangled with each other

only two things could be heard in this very quiet morning

(1) minho’s quiet snores

(2) your pounding heart against your ribcage

it wasn’t that you and minho never cuddled

you did, a freaking lot

but there was something in this very cuddle session

it’s probably because of the feelings that you’ve discovered last night

fuck it

you closed your eyes, snuggles further into minho’s touch

you should just drink these moments up and savor it while it lasts

because you know you’ll never have minho likes this just because you want to

because just like that, minho belongs to someone

but that someone is not you

for what felt like minutes, when in reality an hour and half passed

minho finally woke up

you immediately untangled your body from minho’s pretending you were still asleep and you just moved to the other side

you kept your eyes close as you felt minho stretch his arms and limbs

“y/n?” minho groggily calls and you feel minho’s hand on your shoulder

minho looks at you and sighs

soon, you felt minho pulling away but his head lays on the curve of your body

minho stares at the ceiling, not knowing what to do

until he hears and feels your stomach grumble

minho giggles, turning to you again

“hey, wake up.” minho says as he lightly shakes you

actually, you were just partially pretending to sleep

because you’re actually getting sleepy again

you groaned

“come on, you’re hungry.” minho says, grabbing your wrist

minho’s hand come under your waist, lifting your upper body up so you would sit

then you opened your eyes

“eeeeeeh, minhoooooooooo,” you whined, a pout finding it’s way on your lips

minho chuckles

you don’t know if you were still sleepy and it was just your imagination

or it really did happen

but you think you saw minho almost lean in to kiss your lips

“wake up or i’m throwing you.” minho says and you stick your tongue out to him

“come on, let’s get breakfast. i’ll pay.” minho says and you whine louder

minho sighs, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he sat on your bed, pulling you into his lap as he tucks your head in his neck

you frown a bit as you felt your heart pound loudly again

minho’s hand come up on your arm, running up and down

fuck feelings

you pull away from minho smiling at him as you stood up

you fixed your hair and grabbed your phone

“you go have breakfast,” you said as you opened your phone to see the time. “i remember i promise a friend i’ll help with a project around 8 in the morning and it’s now 9.”

minho pouts, but nods as he stands up

“you’re not replacing me with that friend, are you?” minho says as he lightly pinches your cheek with his index and middle finger in a teasing manner but you could see the fear in his eyes

you shook your head. “never, minho.”  you said with a soft smile

minho returns the smile, believing you

so you put your phone on your desk, going inside the bathroom to brush your teeth

luckily you have an extra so minho brushes his teeth as well

yes hygiene first

after, you grabbed your phone from your desk and wallet from your bag as minho grabs his things

you both went out of your dorm as you locked it

“bye, y/n,” minho says and he kisses your forehead

that’s the first time

it was probably because of the domestic-y theme you had since you both woke up

“bye, minho,” you said and starts walking to the opposite direction as you

you started to walk but you stopped, turning around

“min?” you called and minho turns around with a smile on his face, never leaving

his smile was contagious

you love it

“you know you’re my number one.” you said, smiling as you lightly tilt your to the side

minho chuckles, grinning at the ground

“and you know you’re mine.” minho says

you grin, extending your arm, pointing your index finger at him and winked at him

minho does the same and you turn around to go to your friend

which turned out to be jisung and hyunjin

yes, you lied to minho

because frankly, as much as you want, you don’t think you’re gonna last any longer with him acting like that

you arrived in front of jisung’s and hyunjin’s dorm, you knocked loudly

you waited and for another that passed no one answered

you knocked again, this time not stopping until it opens

when the door opens, it revealed a sleepy hyunjin

eyes half closed, hair ruffle with one ponytail to keep his bangs up

“what are you doing so early in the morning?” hyunjin mumbles

jisung groans as he presses his face into the pillow

“you two wanna get breakfast with me?” you said and hyunjin looks at jisung

jisung nods and stands up

“we’ll just go get change.” hyunjin says

“eh, don’t bother.” you said. “i’m in my pj’s, too.”

“yeah, everyone walks around in their pj’s. we’re in a compound of a university, no one will judge.” jisung agrees as he goes to the bathroom to probably brush his teeth

hyunjin whines and you roll your eyes

“you still look good even though you just got out of bed, jin.” you said

“r-really?” hyunjin asks and you look at him

he shoots a wink and you flick his forehead

classic drama queen, hwang hyunjin presses a palm on his forehead as he groans in pain

“yah—jisung, have you seen that?” hyunjin says as he momentarily looks at jisung’s way

you lightly giggle

a ghost of smile on hyunjin’s lips as he turns around from you to go brush his teeth

soon, the three of you strolled around the university’s compound

settling for a vintage dinner

as you can see i really love vintage lmao

just as you expected, the customers were students that are in their pj’s as well

you settled in one booth, hyunjin beside you and jisung across you

you all ordered and soon the food was on your table

“so, how’s the date with the boyfriend?” jisung asks in a teasing manner

“it was not a date and he is most certainly not my boyfriend.” you answered and pouted

“what’s with the pout?” hyunjin asks and your eyes remain on your lap

“you guys were right.” you mumbled

“with?”

“i’m in love with him.” you mumbled and you looked up at the two boys who just stared at each other

pretty soon jisung is sliding a cash towards hyunjin

“what’s that?” you asked

“i won,” hyunjin grins and jisung rolls his eyes

“with?” you asked

“we had a bet about you,” jisung says

“about?”

“how long will it take for you to admit it.” hyunjin answers

and you looked at them back and forth

“you made a bet about me?!” you exclaimed

and they both snort

“that’s okay,” hyunjin says

“you make bets about me, too.” jisung says

“and me.” hyunjin adds

you looked at them in disgust, jokingly

“so, tell us what happened.” jisung says

and so you did

everything that happened from last night up to earlier this morning

they both listened attentively

“he feels the same way.” hyunjin says after you told them the whole story

jisung nods, agreeing

“don’t be silly.” you said

“there are times when i see you with minho but you two seemed to be enjoying with just the two of you that’s why i never greet you when you’re with him.” jisung says

“shut up, we’re just really that close.” you said

“when you two are talking and then you both start to laugh, minho randomly grabbing your hand and lightly tugging at it excitedly?” hyunjin points out

“holding your hand when walking together?” jisung points out

“randomly hugging you out of nowhere as if he never saw you for thousands of years?”

“having his arm around you when crossing the road?”

“he never gets tired of you, too.”

“he’s also really clingy of you.”

“well, i’m clingy, too!” you defended

“but he can never stay away from you.” jisung says. “stop denying it, y/n.”

“but why is he dating other girls?” you asked

“that’s what you need to find out.” hyunjin says. “confront him before it’s late again.”

ever since hyunjin and jisung pointed things out

you realized, minho really is touchy towards you

but it wasn’t the kind where you get uncomfortable

it’s the kind where it makes you feel safe

but it always left you wanting for more

he wasn’t even like that with his girlfriends

just with you

for months, it went like that

minho didn’t introduce you to any girl for 3 months

you’re surprised yourself, but you know it’s not going to last long

and you know that when the time comes, it’s going to hurt this time

“hey, you okay?” the boy in your thoughts coming to life as he takes the seat across you

you only stared at him, cheek on palm, arm supporting your head, elbow on the table

so minho mimics you

you sigh and minho pouts

“hey,” minho says, reaching a hand out to your elbow. “you okay?”

you nod, dropping your hand to the table and minho is quick to catch it

he massages your hand and you smile at him

“what is it?” minho asks, his voice full of concern but still it makes you feel safe

“nothing, they just gave a lot of homework and it pissed me off.” you lied with a giggle

minho smiles, nodding

“i can help you if you want.” minho offers as he puts your hand softly on the table

“it’s okay,” you said. “the deadline is not even tomorrow.”

minho nods and you both let the comfortable silence take you in

you were lost in thought once more about the boy in front of you

you suddenly flinched when a cat jumped beside you

but you relaxed soon, patting the soft head of the feline

minho smiles at you as you got entertained with the feline

then you suddenly looked up, seeing hyunjin

you suddenly raised your other hand to wave at him with a grin on your face

hyunjin waves lightly, shooting you a wink as he gestured towards minho

you stuck your tongue out to him and he puckers his lips lightly as he giggles to himself

you smile as you watched hyunjin turn his back to you and walk to where he’s supposed to

“who was he?” minho asks, but you failed to notice the reluctance in his tone to ask

“hyunjin.” you answered as you kept on petting the feline

“hwang hyunjin?” minho asks and you nod. “you two seem close.”

“we are!” you said with a smile, but your focus is still on the cat

“how?”

“he’s my friend’s roommate.” you answered. “you know, my friend jisung?”

“oh.” minho says

you failed to notice how minho’s smile immediately wipe out of his face when you waved enthusiastically at hyunjin

when minho saw hyunjin wink at you

minho was just :|

was hyunjin flirting with you? minho could only sigh as he looks down, lost in his thoughts

  you knew there was something wrong with minho

he wasn’t as teasing anymore

he isn’t as smiley as he was

he isn’t as jokeful as he was

it felt like he was a whole new person

even though he never stopped hanging out with you, it felt like he wasn’t really hanging out with you

for a week, it felt like you were hanging with someone else and not minho

you just didn’t want to pry him into telling you with what’s happening

so you let him be for now

but after two days, you just can’t function properly without minho

by lunch, you immediately went straight to the cafeteria

you see minho in your usual seat

you were walking up to him

but you halted when you see a girl slid in on the seat you would always sit on

minho’s eyes lit up, smile wide as he looks at the girl

just great

it

hurt

so

bad

did minho purposely avoid you and have dated another girl without telling you?

he would always tell you about it even if they’re just a minute into the relationship

why was minho even avoiding you?

“y/n!” someone called and you turned around

with the call of your name, minho’s attention was grabbed

his eyes immediately were on you and the guy who called you

you looked down, as you looked at the books that your arms were hugging

you looked up to see hyunjin who had a wide smile

but it was immediately wiped out

“why-why are you crying?” hyunjin stutters and you immediately have a hand reaching to the corner of your eye

you were crying

hyunjin’s gaze shifted on what you were possibly looking at

then, he locks eyes with minho

hyunjin sees the girl who confusedly looked at minho and then follows minho’s gaze

hyunjin immediately grabs your books and grabs your wrist, dragging you somewhere

you see hyunjin heading for the dorms

and soon enough, hyunjin was opening the door of their dorm

hyunjin put your books on his bed, taking his phone out immediately to text jisung

after 15 minutes max, jisung enters the dorm and was quick to see you on his computer chair

“what happened?” jisung asks

“i just saw y/n crying and then when i looked at where she was looking before i came, i saw minho with another girl.” hyunjin explains

“i’ve anticipated it and prepared myself for it, but it just hurts so bad.” you said as you looked away from your friends

hyunjin and jisung slowly comes to you

“i was so confused when he became distant the week before, i was gonna go to him when i saw her sit with him.” you continued and they looked at you with sympathy

you pouted, tears streaming down your face as you think of minho with that girl

“l-let’s go out,” jisung stutters, not sure if it’s a great idea. “we don’t have classes anymore, do we?”

you and hyunjin shook your heads

“let’s take minho off that pretty mind of yours.”

  it…

was..

the..

worst..

everything

and i mean, everything reminded you of minho

everything that you two used to do

the arcade

you and minho would always play rock paper scissors on who would pay

the movie theater

you and minho would always go to it, but one of you would always end up sleeping

the samgyupsal places

you and minho have eaten in each and every samgyupsal place in town already

the ktv

every song that hyunjin and jisung selected were the songs minho would always yell sing his heart out to

hyunjin and jisung came into conclusion that going out was: useless

you, hyunjin and jisung were walking back to the dorms

when you passed by a convenient store

“hey,” you weakly said and they both looked at you

“you wanna grab some soju?” you asked them

it’s a saturday tomorrow anyway

,,,,,there’s no minho that would hang out with you

the thought of it makes you wanna curl up in a ball

right here, right now

hyunjin and jisung nods

and the three of you enter the convenient store to buy bottles of soju

luckily, you were bringing a large ass bag

so you were able to hide it as you entered the university

you said you would just go to your dorm to change into your pajamas

jisung offered to go with you

so you both went to your dorm

you changed into your pj’s and an oversized shirt

,,,,,which was minho’s

but jisung and hyunjin didn’t have to know that :)

you grabbed the cat plushie on your bed and jisung offers to bring the bag of soju

you both went to their dorm

then you waited for hyunjin and jisung as they changed into their own pj’s

they got some snacks

and then you three had finally had the first shot of the night, bumping your shot glasses with each other’s

you three talked about the most random things

a shot became two, then became three, then finally you don’t even remember anymore

you, hyunjin and jisung fell asleep on the floor

 you woke up with your head pounding, a knocking on the door making it worse

you, hyunjin and jisung were on the floor, circling around the bottles of soju

one arm was hugging your cat plushie

other arm was extended with your hand holding your phone

then the knocking started again

you winced, the pounding of your head getting worse than ever

jisung and hyunjin groaning

hyunjin rolled underneath his bed while jisung grabbed the pillow under his head and covered his head with it, trying to block the noise

you stood up, eyes squinting as you dropped your phone and plushie on the ground

you walked up to the door

your hand reached to the door knob, unlocking it and opening the door

minho was standing on the other side and before you could even process it was him, you were turning around to walk to hyunjin’s bed, thinking it was just jisung’s and hyunjin’s friend

you turn your head back as you realized it was minho

then you turned to him full body

“minho,” you mumbled. “what are you doing here?”

“we need to talk.” minho says.

“about?” you mumbled as you leaned on the door, hands playing with the doorknob

if only you and minho weren’t on a serious situation right now, he most definitely thinks that you’re cute

“the message you sent me.” minho answers and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion

you looked at your friends and then back to minho

wait, oh no

“jisung, hyunjin,” you called and the two giggled in a drunk way. “i’m giving the two of you an advice and that is, never fall in love.”

“does it hurt?” hyunjin says as he rests his head on your lap

“it does!” you giggled and jisung pouts at you as he pats your head as if you’re a dog

“i’m thinking,” jisung says

“that’s not good,” hyunjin teases as he gets off of your lap and you giggle

“the three of us should get a shared house, then y/n wouldn’t have to go back and forth to her dorm and ours.” jisung says and you clap, nodding

“yes! yes! let’s just stay together.” you said

“but you would leave your best friend all alone!” hyunjin says with a pout on his lips. “minho, right? yeah! at least say goodbye to him.”

“are we moving tomorrow already?” you asked and hyunjin shrugs, giggling

“let’s!” jisung says. “go say goodbye to minho, y/n!”

“okay!” you said

“pour everything! tell him how you feel and all.” hyunjin giggles and you grab your phone, stumbling over a bit

you dialed minho’s never that even despite you were inebriated, you still memorize it

you lay on your back, hugging the cat plushie on your arm

other hand is pressing the phone against your ear

you scoffed, “voicemail.”

“minho! my best friend. i just called to say that i will be moving tomorrow with my friends, jisung and hyunjin! it would be rude if i don’t say goodbye to my best friend which is you!” you giggled

even a dumb person would know that you’re drunk

“but i would like to confess, too. i am so in love with you. it hurts so bad to see you with that girl earlier today. i would always tell you that my opinion doesn’t matter, go date who you want, but honestly, i never, ever liked any single girl you’ve went out with.

“one is too rude, the other too possessive, the other one was too kind, the other one did nothing but still, i don’t like her! i didn’t even know why. that was until jisung and hyunjin told me that i am in love with you.

“i denied it at first, but when we were watching three stooges and you fell asleep, my heart beat so loud, i thought you were going to wake up on how loud it was. i realized then that i was in love with you from the very start.

“you know, if only you asked me out a long time ago, you probably wouldn’t have gone through lots of heartbreaks as you did. i would’ve tried to be the perfect girlfriend for you. i would never do anything to hurt you, you know. your last girlfriend was too rude. it was honestly irritating to watch you go around and please her.

“don’t feel guilty, though. you’re still my best friend, but i have to keep my distance from you for now.” by now, tears were streaming down your face. a soft sob left your lips and you clamped your hand over your mouth as you sob

“i’m so in love with you.” you continued. “but i’ll try to be over it as soon as possible. i hope your new girl treat you well. remember, you’re my number one, always.

“good night, minho.” you said and ended your voicemail.

you cuddled with your plushie and hid your face on it as tears streamed down

you feel jisung patting your head and hyunjin on your legs

you clamped your hand over your mouth, pushing the door, slamming it on minho’s face as you remembered everything last night

you sigh, putting your hands over your face

fuck, fuck, fuck, you fucked up big time

jisung and hyunjin groaned loudly but you didn’t care right now

“y/n, please, we have to talk.” minho says and you turn your back on the door, leaning against it

your hands on your face, frustrated as you don’t know what to do

“how’d you know i was here?” you asked

“i went to your dorm, but when you weren’t answering, i used the spare key you gave me and you weren’t there and i came here only to ask them where you are, but here you are.” minho answered

you feel like crying again

how could you be so stupid?

“minho, please, go away.” you said

“no, let’s talk about this. we have to talk about this.” minho says

“i don’t want to.” you said

“i’m not going away, y/n.” minho says

you pull your hands away to see jisung looking at you

“who is it?” jisung asks as he stands up

“minho,” you said and jisung walks up to you, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them comfortingly

“y/n, please, let’s talk.” minho says and frankly, you could hear the desperation in his tone

“not now, please.” you said and minho sighs

“please?” minho mumbles

you shook your head, looking up at jisung

jisung’s eyes screams that you need to talk to him

“y/n, you have to.” jisung says

“but i don’t want to.”

“running away is not going to fix this.” jisung says as he grabs your shoulder, pulling you forward as he opens the door

he shoots minho a smile, which minho gratefully returns

“jisung, please,” you said

“y/n, talk to him.” jisung says and you shake your head. “he’s your best friend, what could go wrong?”

everything. minho could dump you and throw your whole friendship away

as if reading your mind, jisung says, “you’re important to him, he won’t throw your friendship out of the window just like that. okay? do what you should’ve done a long time ago. talk to him.” jisung says

your shoulders slump, giving up as jisung lets go of your shoulders

jisung pushes you gently of the door and smiles at you

he closes the door and you look at the ground

then, you felt minho turning you around to face him

he wraps you in his arms, placing your head on his neck

“i could never do that, you know.” minho mumbles and you just let him be

you didn’t move, you didn’t speak

you wanted him to go first

“you’re an idiot, y’know?” minho mumbles and you sigh, nodding. “she’s not my girlfriend, dummy.” minho says. “i don’t even know who she is, she was just asking if she could share the table and i agreed, i don’t want to be rude.”

“then why were you so distant these days?” you mumbled

minho pulls away and looks at you

“wanna know the real reason of my breakups?” minho asks and you sighed, nodding. “they kept on making me choose between them and you, naturally, i would’ve picked you.”

you looked down. “you know, if you really genuinely liked them, you could’ve just picked them and talk to me, i would’ve understood, y’know.” you mumbled

“listen,” minho says with a light laugh, cupping your cheeks as he made you look up at him. “the recent one hit me the most, though.”

“why?”

“she told me to stop dating everyone if my heart belongs to you.” minho says and you looked at him in pure confusion. “it won’t click if i keep on forcing myself to like someone else knowing it was you all along.

“for years, i kept on dropping hints that i’ve liked you for so long until it became deeper. but you didn’t seem to notice, so i started to date other girls because you only see me as a best friend and nothing more.

“but i was stupid, too. i thought you and hyunjin were flirting with each other and i got jealous that’s why i got distant.”

stupid minho, stupid you

equally stupid

“i’m sorry for hurting you all this time, y/n.” minho says and you look into his eyes as he looks into yours. “give me a chance and i promise i will never ever hurt you.”

“i’m sorry, too,” you said. “for being stupid.”

“that’s okay, i was, too.” minho says as he lightly laughs

you wrap your arms around his waist and minho kisses your forehead.

“so, what do you say?” minho asks. “will you be my girlfriend or should we go through another phase of denying our feelings?”

you giggle, looking down as a blush crept through your cheeks

“i think the best option is the first one.” you said as you look up at him and smile

minho looks at you as he places his hand on the your lower back

“can��t resist your number one, can’t you?” minho says teasingly as he looks at you with a smile

he shoots you a wink and you chuckle

“you really don’t know how wink, do you?” you teased and minho rolls his eyes

“can we please focus on more important things like me flirting with you?” minho asks and you laughed

“get to the part where you ask me if you can kiss me!” you said with a giggle and minho tries his best not to laugh, but he still grins at you widely

“well, can i kiss you?” minho asks and you nod

“by all means, go.” you said and minho leans in

you stare into his eyes as he gets closer

when he was an inch close, he pulls away

“are you sure?” minho asks, teasing you

“yes, now hurry up!” you said with a frown

minho leans in again, when your breath mingles

“are you really sure about this?” minho whispers

“more than anything,” you whispered back as you place a peck on his lips

minho smiles, looking at your lips as he dives in for a breathtaking kiss that you’ve been waiting to have

you pulled away lightly, your lips still brushing against his

but minho whines

you chuckle and minho takes the reins, not being able to take your teasing

minho kisses you on the lips, smiling against your lips as you do to

and soon, you two are grinning, making it hard to kiss

you look into minho’s eyes, smiling

“you really do hold the universe in your eyes.” you say as you have hand running up and down soothingly on minho’s back

“that’s your reflection, babe.”

omg, i hope that wasn’t so bad i was so scared to post this. thank you for reading, i hope you like it :(( uwu <3

[oofchris]

⌠ MADISON BAILEY, 19, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CHRISTINA ' CHRIS ' ANDERSON! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MACGYVER SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION + PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( speckles of dried paint on fingers, cruising round on a longboard, joints tucked behind ears wrapped in colourful papers ). when it’s the ( sagittarius )’s birthday on 12/27/2001, they always request their PHO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ mochi, 24, she/her, gmt ⍀

@gallagherintro​

hi uwu, here is a new baby who is not very baby but still a lil baby

 . . . it got quite long so tldr; she’s a stubborn art hoe from california who’s dad died so she’s come to gallagher bc her mom is a professor in the p+e major <3 

parallels

wyldstyle  — the lego movie: 85%

mulan — mulan: 84%

nymphadora tonks — harry potter: 83%

princess fiona — shrek: 83%

robin buckley — stranger things: 82%

here is a full list

HISTORY

potential triggers — car accident, parental death, divorce

so she’s grown up on on the west coast p much ??? her whole life. her mom worked as a bodyguard for sum famous peeps, dad was doctor but occasionally also a medic in the field — they didn’t always see eye to eye and divorced when chris was around nine. it was mostly to do with chris’ future like whether she’d go to spy prep school and follow in their footsteps and her dad didn’t want that for her so they disagreed, and she lived with him instead, living a more or less normal life. her mom then moved away when the opportunity to become a professor at gallagher presented itself, so they’ve really not been close at all since then

lived fairly comfortably, either way her dad had money and her mom sent support too. her father definitely earns less from no longer being in the spy world but he vowed to leave that behind when he divorced his wife and other than a few people from his past popping up unannounced, he kept that vow. they moved around a couple times in order to keep chris safe, and especially when someone did find them ( even if it was friendly ) but mostly grew up in california, and a lot of it is to do with the fact chris loves it there so much

but chris knows about the spy world, what her mom does and the type of school she works at, but it never interested her enough to try and reach out or fight her dad on it as she enjoyed her life 

she remembers her mom as someone stubborn, argumentative, volatile which is the opposite of her dad who was patient, loving and endearing — so it’s a no brainer for her, she loves her dad a lot and he gave up a lot for her while her mom gave chris up for that world, her job, etc aka nada

BUT her dad died in a car accident recently that she was also in but was only a bit beaten up at most ( has some cuts / new scars, learn more below ) leaving her mother to swiftly pick her up and enrol her into gallagher, more to keep an eye on her than anything. 

her mom chose her majors and some of her classes for her, which chris is mad about, but mainly bc looking at what ones were offered she’d def pick macgyver anyway, and her mom argued p+e was a step into the physical and combat side of thing without being too heavy on it ( tho it’s the major she teaches so she’s biased and chris just thinks she wants to be closer ) but tbh ? chris just doesn’t want her mom to be right whatsoever or have the satisfaction of thinking she knows her daughter in anyway at all but she knows if she went undecided she’d probably pick those up again in her second year so she’s just ‘ going with it ‘ begrudgingly as if she has no choice

PERSONALITY

extremely stubborn, which she gets from her mom, would rather ruin her life than go back on something or admit she was wrong, if she apologises for something she'll find a way to do it where she's not actually ever saying the words ' im sorry ' or ' i was wrong ' and would rather start another argument than do that — but obviously she loves other people apologising to her

she is generally nice ??? i just think she can be irritated easy ?????? like a bit of a hot head tho she'd argue she's chill, she is mostly chill but likes to debate, be right, and can be very my way or the high way at times — i’ll figure her out more as i play her bc i can’t tell if she’s mean or not but i don’t think so, just a bit tougher than she needs to be 

in my head she’s like a seb/luc hybrid so . . . take that as you will 

doesn’t dislike gallagher ( mostly ) but thinks all the legacies — even tho she technically is one, she doesn’t identify as one — are entitled spoiled brats and should get their heads out of their ass, doesn't like that being a legacy is even a thing though a lot of it definitely comes from her bitter resentment towards her mom and how she'd have rather leave her and her dad than leave the spy life hbsjhbsjhb also i think bc of her mom she has level 5 clearance which . . . she’s not complaining about but definitely complaining that clearance levels are even a thing, she’s gonna contradict herself a lot, i feel it

MISC

i THINK she’s only arrived, like, at the start of spring semester tbh, she wasn’t here for fall so she is new new

halfway through her first year at stanford studying art alongside film and media as a minor before her mom brought her to gallagher — which she's kind of not happy about like she understands her dad didn't want it for her, she also wanted to just stay in california but the only family she has now is on her mom's side.

she's still enrolled at stanford, though dropped her minor, and is studying online for her major as she's made it clear to her mom she doesn't want to be a spy so she pulled a few strings with the stanford admission board to allow her studying to continue ( idek if this is allowed i'm just pretending her mom is powerful enough to do it ) — it was a big reason chris agreed to come to gallagher, not that she had much of a choice, bc she wants her ‘ normal ‘ life and her ‘ normal ‘ degree regardless of being at a spy school

only her mom calls her christina and she actually hates it so pls dont unless you are trying to get on her bad side — also she probs avoids her mom like the plague so don’t bring that up either

often covered in little cuts and bruises from her skating but she’s got two fresh / soon to be scars on the left side of her face on the top of her cheek bone and on her jaw from a shards of glass when she was in the car accident — she is the type to pick her scabs until they bleed again, too, so i picture her with loads of little scars especially on her hands, elbows and knees

she did learn self defense from her dad growing up and she has studied jiujitsu and akido since she was around thirteen, she also boxes but it's more casual like for stress and stuff rather than something she takes overly seriously

she likes surfing, diving, enjoys the kind of world that exists underwater where it's just peaceful and calm so she will be around the lake a lot / at the pool if you need to find her

she’s 5’3 and never wears heels

pansexual and while it might change i wanna say she's not overly sexual, like wouldn't have hookups for no reason ?? but potentially some one night stands or drunken mistakes or whatever. doesn't look down on sluts but i think she doesn't have the most confidence in that area, or in self esteem in general, so she'll ??? only really have a frequent thing if she feels Hella comfortable

the type to have crushes tho, but not act on them at all bc again self esteem issues 

bit of a tomboy, skater, stoner — though she wouldn't identify as one — really loves movies and can be a proper filmophile, probably has more film soundtracks on her spotify unwrapped than she does actual artists and don't get her started on Women— in film bc she won't stop 

very active, sporty, probs trying to parkour around campus

enjoys painting, sketching, simply creating things — often is filming, riding a longboard, working on some kind of little project she'll take too seriously but won't show people until it's perfect

is a little pretentious at times ??? doesn't necessarily mean to be but if it's a debate on a topic she's passionate about ( such as art, film, etc ) then she will try to ensure you know just how knowledgeable she is on it, she's not afraid to flex but she wouldn't outwardly flex for no reason if that makes sense 

she also . . . feels p dumb at gallagher tbh, a lot of her strengths lie in her creativity and art and now she’s very ??? wtf am i doing ?? but she will continue to act like she knows !

can speak english, french, german and spanish all pretty fluently, italian well enough to get by, knows a bit of japanese bc she’s . . . a weeb sometimes but also bc of her martial arts

CONNECTIONS

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( SPY ) — so this would more than likely be before her parents divorce, but she’s not against keeping in contact a little if she liked you, it could have also been a family who reached out to her dad afterwards because while he’d move away / hide his location promptly after, he would still help them if they needed it ( 1 / ? )

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( NON SPY ) — same thing, but would have probably been after the divorce, just normal families that her and her dad knew, neighbours, work colleagues, school friends, would more than likely have also needed to be west coast sorta area but if your muse was there briefly, they could have kept in contact once they’d left ( 0 / ? )

LEGACIES — she potentially . . . won’t like you if you’re a legacy and you are egotistical / assholey even a tiny bit, bc that basically proves her argument that they’re ALL like that jshbjsbjs but i wud like her to have legacies that she . . . hates that she likes as well, i think she’ll realise p quickly most are fine lmao

ART HOES — whether they’re into painting as well and they do it together or they let her paint them !

SMOKE / SKATE BUDS — one or the other, both, whatever !! 

A HOOK UP THAT’S EITHER ALREADY HAPPENED OR GOING TO — in my head she’s a bit ??? w sex tbh so maybe plot this out a bit more but can be a ?? positive relationship or a negative one idm

CRUSHES !!!!!!!!! — she’s not even been at the school long but im certain she probs has some already

i’m not good w wanted connections so pls just hmu if u have ideas and as usual like dis for plots / jus message me, i’ll be on discord !! if you don’t have/use discord just message me first on tumblr bc otherwise i wont realise jhbsjhbjhbsj

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

[musical-musings]

C. Murphy turn on/off

(miles mcmillan is only used as my select face claim for connor, this post nor page has no relation to him ( : )

turn ons

☆ i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again and again until this godforsaken site finally locks it’s unholy doors on me; connor murphy is a biter

☆ neck? boobs? ass? thighs? anywhere

☆ obviously he won’t like take a fucking chunk out or really break the skin at all (unless he’s Really lost in the moment) but he Loves how you look w bite marks

☆ hickeys too

☆ his favorite place to leave marks is the top of your breast/your lower chest (im trying 2 be gender nuetral but i talk about boobs a lot w this boy so if it doesnt apply to you just edit it 2 ur chest bc im lazy ;)

☆ but he reeaalllyy loves marking up your inner thighs

☆ also really into slapping whether to or From you he Loves it

☆ he loves loves loves when your wear anything in a dark red especially glossy lipstick and/or intimates

☆ speaking of intimates he loves seeing you (regardless of gender) in lingerie, he Adores any kind of soft lace, but anything too complicated to get you out of ends up being cut off

☆ he replaces it though with something or your choice (as long as he can get it off you easily)

☆ he is a huuuuge fan of rough sensual sex and quickies, but he loves loves Loves that slow, sweet loving sex thats totally overrun by body worship and sweet nothings

☆ really into public stuff

☆ i dont mean like fucking on top of a picnic table in the middle of the food court public, but more Subtle things, like fingering/jerking you under the table during class or dressing room blowjobs

☆ i can go on but there’s another half to this post

turn offs

☆ he’ll try just about anything once, sometimes twice

☆ but nothing that’s just Gross (no ‘toilet play’ if you know what i mean, if you don’t please don’t worry about it)

☆ it doesn’t so much as turn him off as Piss Him The Fuck Off, but he _hates _being edged, but it is a great thing to do if you want him to blow your fucking back out ya dig

☆ nothing with Too much blood

☆ no body horror or gore or vore

☆ doesn’t like how people look with the snotty-bubble cum on their faces it just grosses him out and ruins the mood

☆ forced sounds (like overly faked moans or gagging) ruin it too and honestly he gets kinda offended that you think you have to fake it

☆ he’s fine if you like or want to shave but any body hair over an inch is Out, mainly because he’s BIG into oral and doesn’t want your fucking pubes up his nose or stuck in his throat, so no to the bush

☆ he might be a bit of a sadist and a bit of a masochist but he Hates injury fetish (breaking bones, dislocating things, some people like getting hit with chairs? he does Not)

☆ that’s all i got on things he’s not into but i’m sure theres more

☆ OH! he also hate’s bad porn and those like immobilizing devices EXCEPT spreader bars he loves those

[survivornavarino]

Episode #5: WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM -Rebecka

Back from exile so here's the happenings ~Immediately cried to Beckka about Tim leaving and being slaughtered in my arms. ~Messaged Trixie, well she messaged me about what happened our other tribal. ~Messaged all the favs cuz idc if Im at the bottom, im obviously bottom of fans or favs so WHATEVER. ~Talked a lot to Julia cuz we have a lot in common (Witchcraft, being 16 y/o babies, getting lit) ~Told all the favs I have no one in this game which is true. FAVS IF YOU LISTENING TAKE ME IN. PLEASE AND THANKS. ~Messaged Vi cuz at least she was with me.

Honestly what were they thinking with voting out Tee? I guess that's a challenge threat out of the way, so I won't complain.

https://youtu.be/HepZnpuimhM ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/IJWWj23olkA

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE LANA DEL REY SO MUCH NICE TRY AMIRADOR GET READY PUT ON UR ACRYLIC NAILS AND WINGED EYELINER WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM 

So the bad news is I found out Drew has been hardcore dropping my name since the game started and I thought we were cool but it's fine snakes will be snakes. I think he's a little shook about my at bat (me having won 1/3 games I've played) cause he's hinted at how crazy that is. And that would explain why he's pulling out fake receipts and conspiracies to get me out. Whew game recognize game https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ryans-reality-network/images/6/61/Awright_alyssa_edwards.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150724035546 The good news is Eddie is a real one, we really are Joe and Desi from HvHvH, and he spilled all the tea. And honestly we have a similar playing style so we're really about to go the distance, especially if I never get reunited with Julia or Rebecka. SO we need to slay this lip sync so we both live but on the off chance we lose, things are gonna kick into high gear. I've only seen one season of Survivor (HvHvH) but Tyler convinced me to watch Kaoh Rong and let me just say that has shed some light on things. Voting Jacob? Will always be there. Sending another fan out? No problem. Voting long-term? Now that's not a bad idea. So when I said, "What if we got Drew out?" Eddie was all ears. Obviously this is super early and under wraps BUT between the two of us we can make it happen. The key is Tyler and Jake so if we can get them we have a guaranteed majority. It all comes down to timing and the pitch. This is our best chance to clock Drew and whoever fails the vetting process will be left out. If Eddie says that whenever someone takes a shot at Drew they can't afford to miss and that has to be a blindside, then this plan has to be airtight. I wonder who could pull something like that off https://media.giphy.com/media/QmeB1Hr5fz7a0/giphy.gif

I volunteered to do the music video since I was a film major and have professional editing software. It puts a good deal of pressure on me because if we lose it looks like I really dropped the ball. However, I’m hoping that my attempts to organize us and edit the entire thing will earn me some respect and points from my tribe. It’s a bit frustrating getting ideas out of everyone. Nobody seems to want to volunteer thoughts or contribute to the brainstorming and we don’t have much time at all to get this done.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CdgOebQNYEE ________________________________________________________________ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsZyoPZe5Q

First challenge on a new tribe and we lost. WHOOP DE DOO. Im going to try and find an in with the favs and hopefully stick with them. Saying how I have no allegience in this game. Also I keep forgetting that I can idol hunt so Im just casually at level 4 still I think. Ill probably look in the morning. But what were we thinking with Great Balls of Fire. That song is iconic and now that Tyler won he has chances of getting an in with people, but I want him gone Obviously no can do since I am not on his tribe anymore. Might as well dwindle down his numbers from this side then.

So we lost the lip sync. I had to apply lipstick for the first time so that was fun. Sadly one of us has to go home and my guess is it's either Heather, Trixie or Vi unless me or another favorite is getting targeted secretly. I need Heather and Trixie in the game if i'm being honest, mainly due to Trixie having rumors spread about her on the OG Admirador tribe and I wanna see if I can mess around with that. Then Heather was saying that people on the OG Admirador tribe were being fake to her, and she also told me Tyler got paranoid due to Heather not responding to Tyler's messages. So I hope Tyler makes it past merge, because I can work with paranoia. For those who don't know I'm trying a villainy thing and it's probably gonna fail miserably and I'm gonna look like a dumb fuck but I was the hero on my season and I wanted to try villainy out. I'm not good at long confessionals I apologize I feel like i'm the kid in the class presentation who speaks in a monotone voice and makes everyone fall asleep.

Me to the other tribe if/when i reach merge and we get to talk: https://desmadrechic.tumblr.com/post/171063789210/oh-god Ignore the caption that came with the video ajsjsjdkjd

So the other tribe voted out Tee and I'm a n g e r y The challenge was a music video. Still a n g e r y We won. Still a n g e r y!

So like this is bad for the fans, I feel like the faves will just band together and take the easy vote route, I need to socialise today. I need to just make strong social bonds and make sure people want to keep me around. I wanna act dumb and want them to think I am a free number for them. I like Drew and feel like he will be loyal to me, I am no 100% sure what Mitch and Autumn will do but I feel like they will keep me over Jake and Tyler if we end up going to tribal.

Well look at that I got added to a new alliance chat...! Autumn added me, Tyler, and Eddie to an alliance and we named it "Keyboard Smashers" and um I like everyone in it but I also like Drew...so I'm gonna protec him! If we lose and we're still on the same tribe I think I'd want to vote out Mitch since he hasn't made any efforts to talk to me individually. It's a shame bc I think we'd have a lot in common, but oh well! Tbh I have a feeling that we're gonna swap into 3 tribes of 5 next round...my psyche is telling me this...and I'm always right! But I hope I'm wrong because I feel like I'm in a really good position on this tribe and I'm scared to swap on a tribe with people from the other tribe because I think Heather and Vi wouldn't work with me, neither would the faves on the other side. Anyways...I'm a bad bitch.

We just did THAT and I'm happy for it. I've not gotten the chance to be as much if a social butterfly as I would like because my work situation is still adjusting, so if I can keep staying safe until merge that would be highly appreciated. HeatherAs of right now he vote is Vi. I dont agree with it since she is the only one who has been truthful to me in this game so far. But I dont see any way of saving her right now. My only choice I feel in this game is to team up with the favs and get out the fans, which I don't mind as long as that fan isn't me. Plus the fans (minus my loves Vi and Tim) all left me out of the vote. If they think I am going to crawl right back to them come another swap or merge, they have something coming. HOPEFULLY THIS VOTE ISNT ME OR ILL CRY.

So I'm just like really sad because I love vi and I never wanted to vote her out of this game but I have to and that's really sad.  I don't really have much else to say I just feel super guilty.

du du du..... another fan bites the dust and another fan gone, another fan gone another fan bites the dust

Why is it that each tribal gets messier than the last? Well maybe I should back up. We lost... again. Wow what curse have we brought to this tribe. I call bs since we were nice enough to give an upbeat song. The judges are bias smh. Anyways literally no one talked. What vote who? I dunno. It’s super silent which brings bad news. Probably gonna have to expect to be voted out tonight. Oh well. Hopefully heather doesn’t get voted out but I feel like it’ll be another fan that’s gone. The favs know each other and so they’re banding together I believe. Such sadness. I’ll just have to wait until tribal to know tho

Oh, right, this is a thing I need to do. Anyway, same boring shit as always, I'd put "Drew won an immunity challenge" as my mood message but it could be about anything, really. I think there are only like two tribal challenges I've ever lost in Athena. Bonus points because it was the music video challenge so you know my ass floated by and gave it all of ten minutes of thought, but we had a damn savant on the tribe! I love it when tribe swaps work out well for me. People were expressing all this sadness for Trixie and Vi going to their fifth tribal in a row and I'm just sitting here like listen, any goddamn time someone wants to take my seat at tribal and give me the night off, they're welcome to it. Denise Stapley is a cute look on some people, I guess. I'm just fine over here with my Cirie Fields kickback realness, I don't need tribal council, y'all can wait until FTC to give me a torch as far as I'm concerned.

What's the haps? Stress, angina, and crippling anxiety. Anyway. We won immunity which I'm real happy about because I can nOT go to tribal council. I absolutely refuse to lose and I'm really hoping I just make it to merge without attending a tribal council. For some reason I feel like I will I will either go to like the tribal before merge and leave at the first tribal I attend or I will make it to merge without losing and I will be merge boot. I really am happy because I feel like if we went to tribal council Drew would have targeted Autumn which is something I am SOOOO against. I literally sold my soul to that girl and that's who I'm riding with for the rest of the game. So because I love ha so much I kind spilled the beans to her about Drew targeting her. I feel like really bad about it though cause I do consider Drew a close friend but for some reason I'm really having a hard time trusting him. I just feel like he's only with me until he doesn't need me anymore and then he'll totally see me for the threat that I am and take me out. I feel so bad about it but I just feel like it's what I needed to do to show Autumn that I trust her and have her back. Because of that I think Autumn would've gone after Drew and I feel like I would've had to pick a side and I really just can't vote Drew out yet njvjsdfkdnsjk. I would literally feel terrible about it cause I usually don't turn on my close allies pre-merge but if he goes after Autumn then I have no other choice. As I'm typing this I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just tell Drew that I didn't want to vote Autumn out. Maybe he would've said ok we can target somebody else. Why don't I trust him enough to say that? Hmm idk I'm just so on edge. So a 4 person alliance was created and I'm soooooo happy. MY first alliance in this game! I finally feel have something I can maybe rely on and trust for a bit. It includes Autumn, Jake, and Tyler all of which I LOVEEEEE. Like omg this is my dream alliance I'm screaming. If we stick together we at least have enough to tie it. But who knows what will happen. I'm watching you JAKE >.>