#make 100 gold for funsies

[dogtoling]

btw is anyone else seething seeing the damn scale prices for the splatoon 2 grizzco gear. what business does a shirt have being 30 fucking gold scales

[missmaywemeetagain]

Read Need Your Love Tonight ✈️💙🔥...

It's 1961 and we're headed to Hawaii for the U.S.S. Arizona Benefit Concert! ✈️ This one is an older woman and Elvis, so buckle up, babies! All the pics are from the day/night of the concert, just cuz I know a little visual stimulation never hurts...😏

TW: SEXX, age gap (f > m), period appropriate ageist nonsense, fluff, Elvis in that gold jacket, a little sub!e for funsies

FYI: Gold Scarf ✨🧣✨comes out tomorrow for Sweethearts💕 & above tiers over on Patreon! Don't want to miss out? Join HERE ✨

March 25th, 1961

“Are you sure about this, y/n?” Margie asks you, yet again. She looks at the sign in your hand that you’ve got tucked in by your feet with doubt in her ever-practical brown eyes. “I mean, it’s not too late to just chuck it.”

You laugh, unwilling to let her change your mind. “Oh, come on, Margie! Have a little fun, will ya? It’s not like it really matters. He probably won’t even see it, anyway, so why not?”

“But it’s a little desperate, don’t you think? And it announces to the world that you’re practically a spinster at your age!” she laughs, poking you in your side.

You roll your eyes. “A divorcee is not a spinster, honey. Plus, it gives me character,” you say, fluffing your chic new bob. “Plus, lord knows Elvis Presley has plenty of young admirers. Some of these girls are just babies. They wouldn’t even know what to do with a man like him.” You wink at Margie salaciously.

“Oh, how in the world did I let you talk me into this?” she groans, teasing and giving you a smile that only a best friend could.

It’s not that her words don’t sting just a little though. You certainly hadn’t planned to be 35 years old and recently divorced, or for your husband—ex-husband—to be a giant cliché and leave you for his (much) younger secretary.

That’s why you treated yourself on this trip to Hawaii, using his money and dragged Margie, your life-long best friend, along for the ride. It was a huge bonus when you found out Elvis was going to be performing for the first time since the 50’s and for charity no less. You didn’t mind one bit when springing for the $100 ringside seats for you and Margie. It was a win-win-win situation.

Even though you’d been older than him and his target audience, Elvis intrigued and attracted you from the beginning. The young man with the sleek hair, cutting edge style, and wiggling hips set your heart aflutter even though you were married and, according to your mother, should be “beyond such things.”

Hey, there isn’t any harm in looking, was your thought.

You wiggle your feet under your chair to try and alleviate the numbness in your toes. Perhaps heels hadn’t been the most practical choice for this particular venture, but really all you care about (despite what you told Margie) is Elvis noticing you, even just a little bit. God knows you need this after all you’ve been through. And if that takes wearing a sexy outfit and making a ridiculous sign asking, “Am I too old for you?” in giant, bold letters to get his attention, so be it.

You may be in your mid-thirties and divorced, but you still look decent. And you don’t plan on being single forever. Something in you feels like if you can at least catch the eye of the most famous man on earth, you have a chance at catching another man sooner rather than later.

Your stubborn, fiery nature will come in handy tonight, you just know it will. Even as that too-grown-up shred of doubt telling you this is silly winds through your mind, you still have a good feeling about this.

Sitting through the opening acts, you find yourself wiggling in your seat, filled with an excitement you haven’t felt about anything in a while. The other acts are good—you particularly enjoy that the opening comedienne was a woman—but you are itching to see Elvis. In the flesh.

Finally, after what seems like forever, the main event begins. Your eardrums are blasted out by what must be at least two full minutes of young girls shrieking at the top of their lungs. Rightly so, you think as you watch the tall drink of water that is Elvis Presley strut onto the stage. You are blessing your lucky stars above for the divorce settlement because you are so close, you can see just how deliciously handsome the man is in person.

And, boy, is he.

Even having seen his perfect visage in movies on the big screen truly did not hold a candle to the broad-shouldered man in the glittering gold jacket standing on the stage before you. There is almost an innocence and perhaps even a nervousness in his deep-set dreamy blues. His dark hair is coiffed just perfectly and you watch his leg jiggle as he takes the microphone. A wave of heat rolls over you, flushing you from head to toe, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the temperature in the arena.

There is a boyish playfulness to him you do not expect of the seasoned 26-year-old entertainer. He is indelibly charming and likable, not afraid to laugh at himself or the insanity of the crowd around him, but it’s not in a disparaging way. It’s more like he still can’t quite believe it’s all for him.

The reason he’s always fascinated you becomes obvious now that he’s right in front of you. He is a walking contradiction—delicate feminine features in a sharp masculine package, a deep low drawl coupled with a light warbling tenor. Singing lyrics that make you think the dirtiest things and then he turns around and does a spiritual. You have whiplash in the very best way.

You’re so distracted by his essence and the hypnotizing way he’s working the crowd that you almost forget about your sign. When One Night croons out of him with the promise of his “sweet helping hand,” a fire lights under you and you fumble around at your feet and flip the sign up for him to see.

Come on, come on, come on, you think, tapping your foot. Look over here.

At this point you will accept anything from the singer—a wink would suffice. Anything to let you know that you’re not just a washed-up divorcee who’s too old or ugly to find happiness with anyone else. Even if that happiness is just for one night because of one small moment, it’ll be worth it.

He’s so consumed by the song, his eyes closing and the rhythm pumping through his whole body, that you’re not sure he’ll see you. Your fingers grip the sign anxiously. You’d rather not have to hold it up for the rest of the concert, and you are kicking yourself for not remembering earlier, but you’ll do what you’ll have to do.

The end of the song comes, to which he adds a toe-curling groan, and when he opens his eyes, they land on you. A bolt of lightning strikes inside you, filling your veins with a scorching desire at the way those pretty eyes fall on your sign. You wait with bated breath as he reads each word silently, “Am I too old for you?” He gives you a quick cursory glance and then starts to walk away.

“Thank you,” he says to the crowd as screams fill the arena. The opening chords of Are You Lonesome Tonight start to play.

Fitting song choice, you think a little bitterly. Well, at least he saw me.

You find yourself fighting back tears, the split-second moment feeling anticlimactic and dissatisfying. A bit of a punch to the gut, really. It’s the dismissal that really stings, though your logical brain tells you he’s concentrating on his work and your sign is likely no more than a short distraction.

Suddenly, Elvis stops. He turns back towards you and steps in your direction. Your breath catches in your throat when he points at you. It is as if his finger is connected to you by an invisible string, and you find yourself sitting up taller and leaning forward on the edge of your seat. Then, he tilts the microphone away for a moment, his infamous lip curling up into a delicious boyish smile.

“Never,” he says, looking you straight in the eyes.

There’s about a hundred horses galloping in your chest and you feel like you might melt into the chair or start shrieking like one of the thousands of teenagers behind you. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief. Margie elbows you in the ribs and you blink, and realizing he’s staring, waiting, you smile the biggest smile you’ve ever smiled.

He winks in response and then turns back to the band. You let out a shuddering breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding, dropping the sign on the floor.

“Oh, my god, y/n! He spoke to you! He pointed you out!” Margie whispers excitedly in your ear, bouncing up and down as if she too had been possessed by a teenage girl.

For once in your life, you are speechless and can only nod in her direction, your eyes never leaving Elvis. It’s like you are in his thrall and unable to do anything but focus on his voice and his beautiful face.

Ever the consummate performer, he uses his space well, walking from one end of the stage to the other as he brings the entire arena to quiet with the lullaby-esque ballad. Your frustrated tears from earlier have morphed into tears of overwhelm, of being moved by his voice and the melody. Combined with the lyrics of this particular tune, it feels like he’s somehow seen into your soul and is singing straight to you.

He's in front of you now, and you barely register the fact that he’s bending down, throwing his long legs over the edge of the stage to sit there, as if he weren’t performing for a crowd of 4,000. The girls shriek with even more fervor.

As he begins the spoken part, his legs dangling right there in front of you, he says, “I wonder if you’re lonesome tonight,” staring straight at you once again.

Every nerve in your body is at attention and you know you’ve flushed a shade of cherry red because he smiles knowingly at the effect he’s had on you. He looks away, continuing the rest of the spoken part, and you shiver despite the humid warmth.

Only Margie’s hand clamping over yours reminds you that you are still on earth and that this is indeed all real. And when he looks back at you and says, “I loved you at first glance,” the blood drains from your head straight into your belly and you think you might actually pass out, right there in front of him.

A choked noise escapes your throat and luckily Margie, knowing you as well as she does, starts squeezing your hand with a grip strength you didn’t know was possible from the tiny woman. The pain brings you out of your daze, and you breathe again as he looks away and finishes the song.

It was truly more than you ever could have hoped for and the last three songs of the set fly by. You don’t want it to end, but at least you accomplished what you’d set out to do, which honestly was a little bit of a surprise, despite all your talk at the beginning. For the first time in a long while, you feel a tad bit hopeful about the future. You know it’s probably stupid, this idea that a morsel of attention from Elvis Presley could make you feel valued again, but you feel it all the same. After all, if Elvis thinks your worthy of note, then you must be.

Take that, Mike. You and your secretary can shove it. The thought brings a little smile to your face.

A boisterous version of Hound Dog starts playing and you find yourself grinning from ear to ear, bopping back and forth with Margie. You can’t help but stare at those famous hips as he shakes them oh so perfectly in your direction and are quite mesmerized by them when Margie very pointedly bumps your knee with hers. Looking over, you see a short man in front of you bending towards your ear.

“Hi, Miss, I’m Joe. I work for Elvis, and he would like to see you after the show,” Joe says kindly, presenting it as more of a statement than a question. Your eyebrows shoot up to the sky and you look at him disbelievingly. “You and your friend, of course,” he adds quickly, with a disarming smile.

You shoot Margie a look that you hope conveys the appropriate amount of giddy excitement under the strategically calm look you plaster across your face. It’s one thing to be a mooning schoolgirl with your friend in the audience, but completely different once a very real and unfamiliar young man invites you to meet Elvis Presley.

You give the guy a once over and see the lanyard hanging from his neck that shows that he is indeed working as part of the show, lending some credibility to his request. Margie looks at you with keen eyes, then gives you a shrug of approval before you nod and agree.

“Come with me, ladies, or we’ll be caught in the crowd,” Joe says, ushering you two out of the area before the last song is over. Head spinning, you feel a little regretful that you are missing it, and you are almost out of sight before you realize you’ve left the sign on the floor.

The song and the sign should be the last thing on your mind, but you find your disbelief of the situation feels a little too much to handle as Joe brings you to a black door with a guard standing in front of it. If you had any doubt before, the nod of the guard and the way he instantly opens the door for Joe tells you that this might be real after all.

Margie loops her arm in yours as you step into the dark hallway and Joe leads you away from the stage and the shrieking applause of the arena. By the sound of the immense applause, Elvis’ set is finished and he must be taking his bows.

The butterflies in your stomach make you glad you had only a light dinner as Joe finally opens a door to what you assume is a dressing room. You blink against the light.

“Make yourselves comfortable, ladies. Elvis will be with you shortly,” Joe says before leaving and closing the door behind him.

You break away from Margie, who starts tittering around the room. You are so dazed you barely hear her.

“Are you listening to me, y/n? I cannot believe your silly sign worked! Elvis Presley—the Elvis Presley—wants to see us? I mean, you, really, but hey, I’m glad to be along for the ride! He is awfully handsome, isn’t he?” Margie rambles on.

All you can do is nod while your mind whirls a million miles an hour. Suddenly, all your confidence from before the show disappears and you feel incredibly silly. You’re almost an old woman, for god’s sake. What are you even doing here? What if Elvis comes back, sees how old you really are, and realizes his mistake? Oh, this might be one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done, and that’s saying something.

“Oh, no you don’t, missy. Don’t you give up on me now, not when you’re so close to the finish line!” Margie scolds, then puts her arm around you, leading you to the couch. She sits you down and turns your face to hers.

“He’s gonna take one look at me and run for the hills, Marg,” you whimper.

“Stop it—he will do no such thing. And keep your expectations manageable. We’re just meeting him, that’s all. It’s not like you are going to sleep with the man!” she laughs and shakes her head.

You don’t laugh and Margie stops abruptly. “Oh, my lord above, do you want to sleep with him? Do you think he wants to sleep with you?” she asks, lowering her voice to a whisper, her eyes widening.

This time you can’t help but laugh at her. “Okay, first of all, who doesn’t want to sleep with him? Secondly, I have no idea if he wants that. He’s the biggest star in the world, Marg! I don’t know what his expectations are of the women he brings backstage!” you whisper back, looking around as though there might be lackies lurking about listening to you two chirp away.

Margie now looks as nervous as you feel. She starts playing with her wedding ring in a self-soothing motion and you can’t help but fidget with the simple diamond necklace hanging around your neck.

“Look, it’s probably nothing, right? You just caught his eye and he wants to say hi,” she says, trying to be reassuring but it feels anything but.

“Yes, of course…you don’t think he’ll laugh at me, do you? Like he didn’t just bring us back to make fun of me, right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t seem the sort to do that,” she replies, as if she knows the man personally.

Before you can respond, you hear people in the hallway, coming closer by the second. You don’t even have time to look in the mirror because the door opens and the room floods with a loud group of men.

You quickly slide your best confident and nonchalant air over your features, a skill well-practiced from your days going to Mike’s work parties with his insufferable partners and their equally insufferable wives.

The moment Elvis enters the room, the air shifts, as though his essence somehow defies physics and the atoms that make him up are different than the rest of yours. He is glowing, both with sweat and the high of his performance, his gold jacket abandoned to one of his followers along the way. His white ruffled shirt is soaked through with sweat and the sight has you beginning to sweat yourself. It’s as if his pheromones have already sent your hormones into overdrive, and you have the sudden urge to rip that sweaty shirt right off his body.

Instead, you dig your nails into your palm and wait for him to notice you. It takes a moment, what with all the hullabaloo around him. He’s still breathing hard from his performance and laughing with the men. You watch carefully as he pulls off his blue string tie and begins unbuttoning his shirt and rolling his sleeves up his forearms. The scene is so natural and intimately masculine in its way that it sends a shiver down your spine and reminds you that it’s been too long since you’ve had a man if this is all it takes to get you going.

The room suddenly feels very hot and it’s in that moment that Elvis sees you. He gives a low whistle. “Well, if it isn’t the pretty lady with the sign,” he says in his lilting Southern drawl, his eyes never leaving you as he makes his way across the room. Your heart flutters as though a hummingbird is caught in your chest. You stand to greet him.

“Mr. Presley,” you say demurely as he comes to a stop before you and takes your hand in his. The heat from it is blistering on your skin in the best possible way, and when he presses his lips into your fingers without taking those gorgeous blue eyes off you, the zing goes straight into your core.

“Please call me Elvis,” he says in a way that is sweet as pie but with an undercurrent of heat that causes you to blush. “And you are?”

It takes a second for you to remember your own name, and in that short break, Margie jumps up beside you. “She’s y/n, and I’m Margie,” she says, and you hold yourself back from shooting her a scathing look when his eyes shift to her with a kind smile.

A kind smile, but without the same heat, you can’t help but notice.

When he turns back to you and guides you back to the couch, Margie gives you a knowing glance and bites her lips in a smile, obviously trying to hold back a girlish grin.

It doesn’t take long for Elvis to cozy up to you. His arm ends up around the back of the couch and then your shoulders rather quickly, his long fingers drawing soothing circles on your dress. If you were younger and less experienced, this might have been salaciously forward. As it stands, however, sitting here so close to him that you can feel the heat radiate off his sweaty body, it is not even close to enough to satiate you.

Elvis keeps asking you questions, looking at you with endlessly deep blue bedroom eyes framed in long, dark lashes, smudged with remnants of what you assume is eye makeup. You answer his questions, nervous and coy at first, then with increasing candor, because all at once you come to a decision:

You want nothing more than to utterly ruin this boy, despite propriety, despite your reservations and low expectations from earlier. No, judging from the curiously passionate way he keeps looking at you and the increasing tightness in your lower belly, you very much know that you want to take him to bed.

Almost as if he can read your mind, he leans in towards your ear. “Would ya like to come back to my place, darlin’?” he whispers. The hushed, warm cadence of his voice sends tingles sparkling over your body. He’s surprisingly shy about the proposition considering how forward it is, and it’s all you can do to keep from straddling his spread legs right there and then.

Instead, you settle for a nod and a quiet, “I’d like that very much.”

With that, he wastes no time, popping up off the couch and announcing abruptly that it’s time to go. His entourage scrambles to attention, and Margie gives you a quizzical look as Elvis grabs your hand.

You smile at her in the way only a best friend can and her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, as though she can’t quite believe your intentions. She’s nervous, you can tell by the way her brow furrows. She begins worrying her lip as the both of you are ushered out and down the dimly lit corridor.

Part of you thinks that perhaps you should be nervous, too. After all, you don’t know Elvis or his people. Yet there is something about him that is utterly disarming—a unique sort of charm perhaps, but it really is more than that. It’s a vulnerability you don’t expect from a man like him. A yearning to connect, maybe.

It’s something that makes him not so different from you.

Before you can really absorb what’s happening, you are whisked into a car with Elvis, Margie, and some of his people, and the lot of you are taken to the Hawaiian Village Hotel. Margie grips one hand while you splay the other on Elvis’ thigh. He lays his larger hand on top and threads his fingers through yours, suggesting a level of intimacy which surprises you. There is a neediness to it, and you have the distinct urge to take care of him in whatever way you can. A knot of warmth grows deep in your belly at the thought.

You feel calmer than you should because, despite his fame, every second you spend with Elvis he becomes less of an untouchable superstar and more of just a man. Even though in any other circumstance you might be afraid being in the company of so many strange men, this feels more like you were meant to be here all along. As if everything in your life has led you to this very night. You are excited, to be sure, but not afraid in the least. In fact, you are feeling more confident than you have in a while, an anticipatory excitement building in you with every passing minute.

Once you get to the hotel, Elvis does not want to let you out of his sight, or even his grasp, which makes it a little hard to convey to Margie all these thoughts of yours. It’s not until you abscond to the bathroom that you are able to get her alone, and even that gains you the cutest little boy pout from the young man who now seemingly has his sights set on only you. You escape only after telling him you must freshen up and give him a long kiss to the cheek, which you notice turns him a little pink.

Margie is beyond hesitant to leave here without you. “Don’t you think you are taking this a little too far, y/n?” she asks you with worry in her eyes.

“Marg, I know what I’m doing, and I’d be crazy not to take this chance. You know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t. And it’s not like I’m some young, innocent thing he’s taking advantage of, am I?” you remind her, checking your makeup and hair in the mirror.

“I guess not. But promise me you’ll be careful! And that you’ll call me. I’ll worry if I don’t hear from you,” she tuts.

“I know and I will. You are the best friend a girl could ask for,” you smile, hugging her.

“I know I am,” she says, nodding, then whispers, “You better be ready to share all the details when you get back. A married woman can still be curious, you know.”

You laugh and say goodbye before Margie announces that she’d like to be taken back to your hotel. A few men hop to and she’s off before you know it.

Once she’s gone, Elvis grabs your hand and pulls you back into his suite of rooms, alone.

“You go on and make yourself comfortable, sweetheart. I just need to take a shower and get all this grime offa me,” he drawls, turning to the ensuite bathroom.

Emboldened by the quiet and the dark, you grab his hand and pull him back to you. Cupping his pretty face, you plant a long, lingering kiss full of promise on his lips. You can feel his surprise, at first, but he quickly relents and wraps his arms around you, deepening the kiss. Feeling him pressed against you sends your body into overdrive. Besides an angry and cliché tussle with the mailman after Mike had announced he was leaving, you hadn’t been with anyone in quite a while. That coupled with the raw, magnetic pull that had been growing all night between you and Elvis has your toes curling and your heart racing.

Elvis may be young, but he sure does know how to kiss, you think. His lips are incredibly soft and pliant and gentle, but you can feel his passion brewing just under the surface in the fevered way his hands dig into your back and his cock twitches in his slacks.

Even though you are loathe to do so, you break away first. “You’d better go shower,” you command, smoothing the ruffles on his shirt.

“Y-Yes, m-ma’am,” he manages to choke out, nodding voraciously. With one last peck to your cheek, he absconds quickly, and in his haste leaves the door open a crack. He undresses in what must be record breaking time, which you can hear from how quickly his clothes drop to the floor. Just thinking of him wet and naked mere feet away has slick gathering in your underwear. It takes everything in you to not follow him in.

Yes, you think you just might ruin him tonight, in the best possible way. Honestly, you’re not exactly sure where this self-assurance is coming from, other than the fact that he seems very taken with you and you have nothing to lose. You’re sure he’s quite experienced—there’s no way he wouldn’t be with his age and level of stardom, and while that should give you pause, you still have nearly a decade on the man. While your sex life had dwindled recently, there were plenty of better years when you and Mike went at it like rabbits.

You sit on the edge of the bed, opting not to take of your dress. There’s something about the fact that he will be naked (or nearly so) with you being fully clothed when he walks back in that entices you in such a way that it sends a shiver down your spine. Of course, it would’ve been prudent of you to wear sexier underwear, but you suppose your white lace set will have to do. Plus, you aren’t entirely certain you will be wearing them for long, anyway…

True to your prediction, the shower turns off in record time. You cross your legs and lean back on your hands, casually but expectantly. Elvis is breathless when he flings the door open, as though he just ran a sprint, droplets of water still glistening on his skin. He looks at you with hopeful, needy anticipation.

He's an absolute vision. Never has a man looked so good, you think. God surely spent extra time crafting this one, what with his high cheekbones and sparkling blue eyes and perfect lips. You make no secret of the way you take in his whole body, either, and his lips part and his eyes widen and you can’t tell if he’s maybe a little self-conscious by the way your gaze is raking over him.

You don’t care. The rapid rise and fall of his chest as he watches you tells you he’s enjoying it. His towel is slung low, wrapped and tucked in around his waist. There’s no hiding how his cock is hardening beneath it, the terrycloth twitching and tenting right before your eyes. Between that and the disheveled state of his wet hair, it makes you want to lick him dry in more ways than one.

You uncross your legs slowly and use one finger to beckon him forward in a come-hither action. You’d seen him do the same in one of his movies last year, but my oh my, how the tables have turned. He gulps visibly, his eyes drifting from your legs to your finger and back again, then pads towards you on the plush carpet until he’s standing right before you.

Looking up at him, you bite your lip coquettishly and see his eyes dilate. Your gaze drifts down his chest to his stomach, then follows the little trail of hair that goes from his belly button and disappears beneath the towel. You can’t help pressing your lips right above his navel and you feel him shudder against you, which you take as a sign to keep going. Kissing across his soft but lean stomach, then down that little trail, you open your legs and grab his hips, pulling him forward to you. He trips over his own feet to get there.

When your hands skirt the edge of the towel and begin to pull it open, his hand stops you. You look up at him to find him shaking his head bashfully.

“Y-y-you don’t h-hafta do that, m-ma’am,” he stammers out, belying his nervousness. You can’t seem to piece out why, exactly, because by the quite prominent erection he’s sporting right in front of your face, it’s evident that he’s excited by the notion. Perhaps he’s used to pretty, young things who don’t know what they are doing, or maybe the notorious 50’s rebel is a little old fashioned. But if there’s one thing you became quite skilled at in the last few years (in the failed hopes it might help your marriage), it was how to make a man fall apart in your mouth. You’d even developed quite the taste for it.

And something about the way he is calling you “ma’am” in his delightful and polite Southern accent has you licking your lips. “Oh, I know I don’t have to, baby,” you coo at him, “but I want to.” And with that, you unravel the towel and let it drop to the floor.

Elvis lets out a choked groan and his hands flail as though he wants to cover the magnificent member that springs forth before you, slapping up against his stomach. You swat his hands away, lips parting with a sigh as you take him in.

He’s intact, the red tip of him nestled under lighter foreskin. Perhaps that why his cheeks are as pink as they are. You’d heard women titter in whispers about uncircumcised men being “ugly” or “unclean,” and while you didn’t have any personal experience with it, it does not turn you off in the least. Quite the opposite, if fact, as you can feel your arousal soaking the fabric between your thighs. What is beyond evident is that God didn’t just give him a pretty voice and a pretty face—he’s got a cock to match.

“Perfect,” you sigh and smile up at him, rubbing encouraging little circles at his hipbone with your thumb.

He lets out a shaking breath and a look of relief passes quickly over his features, but there is still a vulnerable hesitance about him. It does something primal to you. You just want to eat him right up.

But before that, you think he’s due for a little teasing. It’s the least you can do after the show he put on for you earlier and how it had made you ruin your panties to watch him live on stage. Pressing your lips along the cut of his groin, you feel the tickle of the course thatch of hair he’s got curling around the base of him. He shivers violently with each kiss, holding back a strangled moan as you get closer and closer to the place he wants you the most. Not seeming to know what to do with his hands, they flounder a bit before resting lightly on your shoulders, the heat of them blazing through your dress.

Using just the tip of your pointer finger, you run it under and up his large ball sack, noticing the way they seem to draw in closer and the way he jumps when you do so. Your other hand reaches around to grab his perfectly round ass cheek to keep him near and steady. The cutest little yelp falls out of his mouth. You smile, finally dragging your finger up the silky soft flesh covering his rock-hard shaft.

He jolts, the long length of his cock bouncing toward you, knowing and eager for what you have in store for him. The tip of your finger circles the slit of him, already weepy with precum, and you see how sensitive he is around his foreskin when he sucks in a short breath as your finger circles that, too.

Without warning him, you run the tip of your tongue from base to head, savoring the clean but still musky scent of him as you go. You look up to see his eyes roll back and his lips part, a whisper of “Goddamn,” falling from his mouth like a prayer.

You kiss and lap your way back down then take him in your hand to tilt his cock down to you. The heavy feel of him in your palm coupled with the way his hands tighten and dig into the fabric of your dress has you knowing you are on the right track. You pump him once, twice, three times, your wrist twisting and changing pressure to see what makes him moan the most. When you find the right combination, you swirl your tongue around his leaking tip before closing your mouth around it.

The low keen that vibrates out of him is desperate and sensual. Your thighs tighten around his legs, boxing him in, and your pussy clenches around nothing, yearning for friction. Right now, you concentrate on taking him in your mouth, lathing your flattened tongue up and down his penis while you suck in, sealing yourself around him.

It’s then that his hands finally fly up to your hair, carting through it, and you can feel him holding back. It’s good that he knows you are in charge, and he fully submits to how you begin working his balls and the hilt of him with one hand as you inch his ample length further into your mouth.

Obscene moans are falling past his lips now, only getting louder when you match them with your own, the vibrations causing him to thrust a little down your throat.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he pants as you press him past your gag reflex, your throat tightening then relaxing around him. His legs tremble and you pull off him for a moment to catch your breath, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to him still.

Elvis whimpers and you smile up at him, using your hand to pump him fully. You reckon he’s not going to last long in this by the way he’s crumbling so beautifully in front of you. The urge to want to choke on his cock comes over you so strongly that you can’t wait any longer. You take him back down your throat quickly enough that his eyes pop open in surprise and his hand finally tightens in your hair the way you want it to.

He's bigger than Mike in every way, but you don’t let that deter you. No, you feel quite confident as you open your throat for him as best you can, all the while working him with your tongue and hand. For the first time in a long time, you feel like you could conquer the world, despite your age, despite being divorced, because you are going to make the king of rock and roll himself unravel at your feet. The thought has you soaking your panties as Elvis murmurs your praises.

“I-I-I’m not gonna…last…gonna blow if ya keep this up, mama,” he pants, trying to pull away as if not wanting to sully you. But you are far too experienced and far too aroused for such sentiment. Instead, you grab his ass in both hands and press him so far down that your nose hits his pelvis. Feeling him tense and shudder, you give him every trick at once, relishing his pleasure as it serves your own. His strangled cry fills the air as he pulses in your mouth, shooting his salty release straight down your throat as you swallow around him.

The pleasured run of expletives he’s moaning must be loud enough for others to hear, but that arouses you even more because you are causing it. His body shakes hard through his orgasm, and he bows over you, clutching your head in an effort to stay standing. When you finally pull off him, his saliva-covered dick is still heavy and hard.

Ah, youth, you think with a smile.

“Oh, oh mama,” he says breathlessly, “that w-was…oh lord...” Then he collapses next to you on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in a daze.

You shift your body sideways so you can look down at him in his fucked-out afterglow. Somehow, he’s even more beautiful now than he was before, both innocent and debauched all at once, his high cheekbones flushed and his eyes dark and sparkling with lust. You can’t help but run your hand down his heaving chest, just to prove that this vision is real.

The action focuses him and he looks over at you, concerned, his hand cupping your cheek. “You okay? Y-ya really din’t have ta do that, honey,” he says quietly, his dark brows furrowing together handsomely.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, baby. I loved it,” you say, smiling. “Can I show you how much?”

His eyes widen and he nods.

As bold as you’ve ever been, you take his other hand in yours, tucking it under your dress. Slowly, you run his fingers along the inside of your thigh. His callouses catch on your silky stockings and you hear him hum in approval when you reach the past where your garter belt holds them up and your soft, bare flesh is exposed to his touch. There is no stopping you now, and when you guide his fingers to the sopping fabric between your legs, you watch as his lips part in what can only be described as a reverent, aroused awe.

“Ohhhh,” is about all he’s able to get out, and your body yields to him, legs falling open of their own accord as a sigh tumbles from your lips. You dip his fingers under the band that separates you and press him into the slick, and that’s all it takes for the boy to snap to attention.

In a fast, fluid motion, his lips capture yours, and he reverses your positions so you are lying back on the bed. As his mouth explores above, his fingers mirror below, caressing through your slick folds before circling your clit. It only takes him a moment of experimentation to find what makes you quake and roll in his hand—he’s obviously skilled in the art of a woman’s body, you’ll give him that.

You moan into his mouth when he pushes two long fingers up into your wet heat. Your pussy clenches around him, tight and needy, reminding you it’s been neglected for far too long. Pumping wickedly slow, he uses his tongue in your mouth to mimic what he’s doing to your clit with his thumb. God, you want him to devour you whole, you think as your nails dig into the bare flesh of his back and he curves his fingers inside you just so.

“Elvis!” you gasp and that cheeky lip of his curls up into that famous smirk. It turns your stomach gooey and molten, and your cunt squeezes demandingly around his fingers.

Kissing down your neck, his descent is thwarted by your dress. You whine when his fingers leave you and he pulls you to sit up. In one fell swoop, he deftly unzips your dress and yanks it up over your head, discarding it unceremoniously on the floor. Hungrily, his eyes rake over your form, and the scrutiny would usually have you a tad self-conscious, but he’s on you so fast, nipping at your skin, that you couldn’t care less what you look like.

The boy is proving quite proficient in removing undergarments, unclasping your bra with such skill that you barely realize it’s off before it joins your dress in a heap on the floor. You can’t think about much of anything with how his lips pepper your breasts with kisses, and when he attaches softly to your nipple, suckling there, the zinging sensation shoots straight through you and into your aching pussy.

You want him everywhere, your soft sighs of, “yes, yes, yes” urging him on. Running his hands up your legs, he slowly pops each clasp that holds up your stockings, his thumbs massaging maddening circles on the sensitive inner flesh of your upper thighs. Shivers ripple through you when he starts rolling the silky fabric off each leg, kissing each new inch of skin he exposes as he goes.

“Look at these pretty yittle sooties,” he coos as he takes off your heels and stockings, his hands massaging your sore arches. Your body, already on high alert, nearly levitates off the bed at the delectable it-hurts-so-good feeling. His lips press into your ankles, slowly trailing their way back up to your sex.

Oh, he’s good. You didn’t expect this, though perhaps you should have. The closer he gets to the ruined gusset of your panties, the faster your chest swells. It’s been a long time since any one has been down there like this, and you almost stop him, but the feel of his mussed damp hair tickling your thighs has you in quite a state. You suppose turnabout is fair play when he lightly and quickly presses his tongue into your core over the fabric, teasing what you hope is to come.

He switches gears and makes surprisingly quick work of your garter belt. His eyes flash in the darkness as he takes your panties in his teeth, dragging them with a playful growl down your legs. Completely exposed for him, he yanks you to the edge of the bed and pushes gently on your knees, spreading you open with a delight you didn’t know was possible.

“All that for me, mama?” he asks quietly, running the tip of his finger through your dripping arousal before putting it in his mouth and licking it clean. It’s so wonderfully dirty, making your cunt throb for attention.

“Yes,” you breathe, nodding furiously. When he licks his lips, you think you might die from waiting, but then he’s on you, his tongue lathing wide and flat from your ass to your clit.

You don’t recognize the sounds coming out of your mouth, the sensation of his wet softness exploring your most intimate areas being so overwhelming that it is hard to focus. He kisses and swirls around your puffy little nub, and your fingers fly into his dark hair, clasping the wet strands. When he hums against you in response, the vibrations have you gasping.

He continues his work, his tongue pointedly lapping through your swollen folds to your entrance. You think you might be dreaming when he begins fucking you with his tongue, and the tightness in your belly clinches when he flicks his finger over your clit rapidly.

“Oh, god,” you groan, hips undulating against his face, needing more of him. You had set out to ruin this man tonight and now he is undoing you piece by piece instead. He is a responsive and intuitive lover, you realize, as he replaces his tongue with his much longer fingers, pressing up into your body with precision.

Gaping, you push up on your elbows as he pulls back, and you catch the stunning sight of his pretty face slick with your arousal, looking at your cunt with determined reverence. He finds that spongey spot up inside you and takes that moment to fix his mouth to your sensitive bud and your eyes roll back in your head as you arch off the mattress to be closer to the heaven he’s bringing you to.

Fire spreads from your belly into the rest of your body, and you feel your climax closing in on you rapidly, despite part of you wanting this to last forever. When you realize he’s moaning against you and rutting against the bed, it sends a whole new set of fireworks through your nerves.

He’s getting off on this, you think. My pleasure his getting him off.

And there’s nothing sexier than that.

Adding another finger, he fucks you faster, harder, all the while massaging your clit intentionally with his tongue. He is a man on a mission now, and the searing wave of heat crests inside of you. All it takes is the guttural moan he lets go against you and you break apart.

Your fingers dig into his scalp and you thrust into his face as you come. It hits you hard and you cry out as he fucks you through it, catapulting you from your sensitive body to somewhere in the stratosphere.

Your eyelids flutter as you float back down to earth. The feel of his tongue licking up your release has you shuddering against him.

“Oh. Oh,” is all you can seem to manage, and you stare up at the ceiling wondering what good deed you did in your life to deserve this.

You feel Elvis slide his body up yours to lay beside you. He kisses up your neck until he reaches your lips, and you taste the tang of yourself on him. It shouldn’t entice you, but it does. Lying there, his naked body pressed against your side, you feel the hot heaviness of his erection hard against your hip.

“Best poster I ever made,” you breathe out, your filter completely gone after your mind-blowing orgasm.

Elvis chuckles in your hair. “How old are you, anyway?”

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a woman’s age, young man?” you tease, poking into his side.

“Hey now! I jus’ wanna make sure I don’t hurt ya. Don’t wanna send you to the home quite yet,” he smirks, then bites your shoulder.

“Oh, one of us is going to the home alright, and it’s not me,” you retort, pushing him over and flipping on top of him. “I’ll show you.”

He grunts as you straddle his hips. “Yes, ma’am, you’d better show me,” he says coyly.

“Good boy.” You grind down on him.

Being in your 30s has never been so sweet.

TAGLIST

@liaaacantwrite @kittenlittle24 @kaitaesupremacy @butler-trouble @eliseinmemphis @russian-soft-bitch  @tattywood

@sassanoe  @thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle @carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23 

 @littlebitofgreen @paigevis @bugg06 @xhannahbananax03 @artlover8992

@18lkpeters @frozenhuntress67 @girlblogger2002 @kendralavon7 @misspresley 

@be-my-ally @whositmcwhatsit @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @thatbanditqueen @powerofelvis @from-memphis-with-love

@precious-little-scoundrel @stylespresleyhearted @prompted-wordsmith @crash-and-cure @elvisgf @lookingforrainbows @fic-over-cannon @godlypresley @ab4eva @whatstruthgottodowithit @elvisabutler @ amydarcimarie @idontwanttoputanything  @callieselvisobsessed @captainamerica1235-blog  @xenaspace3-blog 

@simplyamberj @claire-elvisgirl @everythingelvispresley @louisejoy86 

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

WTTT cryptid/animal hcs cuz I'm bored. Also these might make absolutely ZERO sense whatsoever, but thats fine.

================================

New York:

Ive decided that his cryptid/animal form is a blue jay/cat hybrid. Why? Idk tbh. We as a fandom have decided that he is a cat in human form, and the blue-jay is apparently one of the most common birds in NY (and theyre pretty as hell-). I dont really have a good reason lmao. He has the wings of a blue jay (along with some feathers around his back/neck/torso) and cat ears and tail (tho his tail has feathers on it that spread out to look like a blue jay's tailfeathers.) and claws. Also his eyes are gold and his pupils are slits :3. His claws come out of the base of his fingernails, almost like Wolverine's. His speed and agility is increased quite a bit, he can climb even better, amd hear things that he wouldn't normally be able to hear.

Louisiana:

The little voices in my head have all come together and decided that he's a gator/wolf hybrid. Wolf cuz ✨Rougarou✨ and gator cuz why tf not. He has wolf ears and tail, and gator scales on his back/neck/forearms, as well as a bit of his torso. His eyes are a bright yellow and he has slit pupils like an alligator. His teeth can very from being all sharp, or just his canines. His strength, speed, stamina, swimming and hearing/smell abilities all are increased.

Texas:

I just do what the little voices in my head tell me to. He's a deer/northern mockingbird hybrid (cuz deer are the most widespread large mammal in Texas and his state bird is the northern mockingbird). He has antlers and deer hooves and tail, as well as mockingbird wings. His hearing, speed, and jumping abilities are all increased. He's also very alert and gets scared very easily (easier than usual, and he hates it). He definitely headbutts Alaska and California and others that he's able to (some of the taller states).

Massachusetts:

To be completely honest, I haven't though too much, but I'm thinking maybe a raccoon or a chickadee. Raccoon cuz hehe funny, and chickadee cuz the black-capped chickadee is his state bird. This might be one I have to think about more tbh.

Gov:

He's an eagle, no questions asked. I mean- for God's sake he's the closest thing we have to full personification of America, so yes. He has large eagle wings and bright yellow eyes with slit pupils. His legs from the knee down can either be like eagle's legs/talons, or they can be normal, and he has talons instead of fingernails. He has feathers along his neck/back and a long the sides of his face. His speed and strength are both increased.

Alaska:

Again, the little voices are telling me that he's a polar bear/moose hybrid. Pretty much most of him is par bear, as in he has white fur on most of him, he has the claws, and white bear ears and tail and the tips of his hair are white. The moose part of him is literally just a pair of moose antlers. And his strength is heavily increased (not that that was necessary-). He has 100% headbutted Texas back and sent him for a trip.

California:

He is ✨grizzly bear✨. It just makes sense. He has the bear ears, tail, and claws. And fur along his back, torso, neck, forearms, and legs. Also he's like 10x stronger (again, not necessary :') he's already buff enough) and has definitely thrown Texas a few times.

Nevada:

Big horned sheep. He has ram horns, the legs of a ram, and a tail. And he definitely headbutts people. For funsies.

Colorado:

Basically the same as Nevada. Also he gets the munchies cuz he's high 24/7 and eats literally anything. Chair? Munch. Plastic? Munch. Rock? M u n c h.

Florida:

That's not even a question lmao. He's an alligator. He has the yellow eyes and slit pupils, alligator scales on his arms/back/legs/neck. And he's a lot stronger and can swim faster.

New Jersey:

He is a demon/devil hybrid, no questions asked. He has elf-like ears, devil horns/tail/wings, bright red eyes, sharp teeth, and black patches all over his body.

Rhode Island:

Hehe. He's a raccoon cuz i said so. And nobody is changing my damn mind. He has the floofy tail and ears and claws and teeth. He is angy short raccoon :3

================================

[amiharana]

what do u think modern revalink would wear!! me personally I think link is either plain tshirt + cargo shorts every day of the week or crop tops and backless shirts and layers of jewelry, no in between 💀 and revali definitely thrifts bc he thinks it makes him look cool, he probably has 100 pinterest boards of outfits he wants to try, honestly if he wasn't so interested in pursuing flight school he might go into fashion 😭 OH he definitely owns a pair of aviator sunglasses, also I just get fur coat vibes from him

CARGO SHORTS HAHAHHA THAT'S VERY LINK VIBES FOR SURE!!!! like link either dresses like a dad or he's showing so much skin pastors everywhere are sweating. casually, link wears the most random graphic tee + sweatpants or old PE shorts from high school LMFAOKJDHFJKD and also flip flops. if he's feeling a little fancy he has the most beat-up pair of white airforce 1s. i lowkey think he has a pair of black af1s that he keeps in mint condition and wears on ~special occasions~ but i Love love LOVE the idea of link wearing crop tops, backless shirts, and jewelry omg 😭🤍 he only wears stuff like that also for special occasions like the usual job interview or date night with revali <3 u know that meme that's like. Steal the Look! $2,450 and it will be like Shirt -$30, Pants - $45, Shoes - $80, Lingerie Set - $2,325 because that's totally link. tell me he's not wearing the sexiest lingerie under his date night outfit like COME ON NOW! but i also believe in link wearing a lot of oversized hoodies, big shirts, and baggy jeans etc he's very stylish and in with the trends

I AGREE WITH REVALI THRIFTING he believes in sustainable clothing and Only wears clothes he's thrifted or are from sustainable and environmentally friendly companies. he actively despises those tiktok girlies who thrift and resell on fucking depop for like 100x the price like he calls them out and roasts them in an 45 min long youtube video 😭 it's so humiliating for them that some of the tiktok girlies be deleting their accounts...... i love the pinterest board stuff too, i have one of just clothes and outfits i think are neat and want, but revali has like 20 different boards for outfit ideas based on 20 different and specific vibes. revali believes in always looking his best before he leaves the house and regularly dresses like wisdom kaye or, i specifically thought of these concept photos of taehyung from proof since you mentioned fur coat? revali makes link match with him for a date night so link ends up wearing jungkook's outfit from the same concept photos. god these men r fine asf WHEWWW! revali is just as broke as the rest of us but he LOOKS rich with the way he pairs clothing together

yes to revali's aviator glasses but link makes fun of him for wearing them inside and revali's is like IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC!!!!!!!! link wears bucket hats because i said so. idc argue with the wall for this one he would look so cute in a bucket hat and revali thinks so too. he has so many pictures of link in a bucket hat on his phone. they both have platform doc martens, link has the boots and revali also has boots but also the oxfords.

revali has a bomber jacket from his grandfather who was a pilot. link likes to steal it sometimes because it's oversized and smells like revali <3

link learned how to crochet for funsies and made revali a bright blue scarf as a gift, and revali was so touched he centered every single outfit he wore for the next two weeks around the scarf (dw he washed it, he's a clean freak). like revali cherishes it so much he has it displayed in their house 😭

last one for now and i'm gonna project even more onto link, but he luvs jewelry. he looks especially good in gold, but he rocks any piece he wears. he has so much jewelry, revali built him a whole vanity with multiple drawers and storage space for all of the jewelry. revali randomly gets him jewelry as gifts every now and then, and he always gets it custom-crafted by a jeweler who's a friend of urbosa. link almost always wears the first necklace that revali ever gifted him for his birthday and it's beautiful sapphire wrapped in gold. also link wears a body chain under his crop tops sometimes and revali is obsessed with it he cannot keep his hands off of link's waist or his eyes away from the way the chain glints against link's tummy :)

[justcaytlin]

Oh yeah, one good thing about moving back to Tumblr is I can chronicle my FFXIV D&D group much easier!

I'm DMing a campaign where I run my friends through the ARR story (and eventually the rest of MSQ, but one bite at a time, eh?) and we've just started.

Prior to the campaign, I put together a 123-page PDF player's guide for them, as they are unfamiliar with Final Fantasy in general and also to convert lore into D&D mechanics. Rather than taking the homebrew route of creating all the jobs/classes from whole cloth, we converted existing D&D classes into FFXIV flavor.

The PDF also contains custom backgrounds, "This Is Your Life" from Xanathar's Guide but Eorzea-ized, and of course races (tweaked from someone else's homebrew, which is linked in the document).

Of course the PDF is already out of date because that's how these things go, but it's still, like, 99% good.

June was a feverish month of creation LOL

Anyway, here's our intrepid party:

Maeda Matsu (Matsu is her given name) is our Au Ra White Mage (Druid of Stars 2/Cleric of Life X, a Hydaelyn cleric). Barry Spalding (Barius) is our Garlean Gunbreaker (Artificer Armorer). And Sayonji Himemiya is our Red Mage (Wizard Bladesinger).

The First Rising

The first two sessions, I wanted to introduce them to the setting, its characters, its story, etc, and also help them kind of get a feel for their party dynamic. So I set it during the very first annual Rising Festival after the Calamity. For funsies, I decided it would be held at the Gold Saucer, because of course Godbert would hold the first Rising Festival in an attempt to reunify people and bring joy to those who were hurting.

I played the ARR trailer video up until the end of the Calamity, narrating over it and what was happening so they could get the emotional enormity of what had happened.

Then I spent time with each character, doing some story RP with them that explained their normal circumstances and how they got to the festival. Matsu's flighty, flaky mom wanted to take her to the cool new festival. Matsu's a Sharlayan Scholar, and Krile is her mentor, so I had Krile give her a Twilight Sparkle-esque assignment: go have fun and make some friends.

Barry was tagging along to his brother's friend's bachelor party, which was a dumbass stunt of "tee hee let's sneak into savage Eorzea in disguise and have our party at their casino!" They basically brought Barry along because he's sorta always the hanger-on, and his brother Nero thought it would be hilarious to get his baby brother drunk as a skunk in Eorzea. Shortly after arriving, they basically abandoned him to go have fun themselves.

Sayonji is a neglected lil baby whose mother was one of the Company of Heroes, but vanished when he was a child. His father then vanished with the other Warriors of Light during the Calamity. He puts on airs of arrogance and being full of himself to hide his hurt. A traveling bard, Temur Himemiya, came to his town of Summerford to talk about the Rising Festival. Sayonji fell *instantly* in love (hence, taking on the bard's last name) and declared right then and there he'd be an adventurer too. He went to the festival riding high on being ~in love~.

He was 15.

How It Went

They met and had a blast doing a bunch of party games. They competed against Yda and Papalymo in the obstacle course up Mount Corel, doing the limit break mechanic to launch Sayonji to the finish line.

They had an astrologian read their fortunes using the Tarokka deck (especially since my husband had already coded up a really cool tarokka reading table). Barry is 100% sure it's fluff and nonsense because lol being in the middle of a corrupt regime??? what lol??? He's a soft baby boy.

Sayonji started to cotton on that Barry might be a Garlean. Most especially because he was weirdly neurotic about keeping his dumb pirate bandanna on over his forehead.

They made contact with a pair of extremely arrogant 11 year old Sharlayan twins whom Matsu had seen around the Studium.

Suddenly, a *tower of light* appeared in Event Square and Godbert made a big show of it, like, OH NO, HEROES, WHAT DO WE DOOOOO, GATHER IN PARTIES OF NO MORE OR LESS THAN FIVE PEOPLE PLEASE THANK YOU

They nabbed Alphinaud and Alisaie as their fourth and fifth (the twins had been arguing with Godbert that they should be allowed to run the tower on their own because they were PRODIGIES) and entered.

The whole tower was an exercise in getting to know your party:

A philosophical discussion with a couple of moogles about what to do if you find a Garlean baby in a camp after you've killed all the soldiers. (Party was solidly in the Don't Kill the Baby camp) The only goal here was to come to a party consensus.

A room where a freaky candy was created to represent each person's deepest fears. You had to eat someone else's candy and be in their shoes for a little Echo scene. Note, they had to attune to a crystal, and Barry could not. He was trying and panicking, and Godbert basically was like "Oh oops it must be on the fritz :D" and had it generate an appropriate chocolate. Matsu learned that Barry is a Garlean, and both Matsu and Sayonji came to the conclusion that he is a soft sweet boy and not a spy, and also he has a shitty family.

A room where you had to speak out loud your worst flaw, and someone else had to talk about how they'd be able to compensate for that flaw. Heroes should be able to lift each other up! Speaking your flaw would summon a platform that would help build a bridge across a chasm, and having it compensated for would stabilize it enough to be able to stand on it.

At this point, both Alisaie and Sayonji were commiserating on "WHAT IS THIS UNAGREED UPON GROUP THERAPY BULLSHIT"

Final room was a fight against Mama Moogle (fat moogle) and her moogley minions. Lots of goofy combat, and they knocked Mama Moogle so hard she quit early.

They got lil plastic medals that, when pressed, would do the tinny victory theme. They say "I survived the Tower of Light at the first annual Rising Festival!" on them. Super gaudy.

Everyone parted ways a bit sadly, assuming they'd never see each other again. Matsu gave Barry a lil kiss in hopes of impressing his jackass brother and friends.

And Then The Call

Last session, I had another round of "here's what you've been doing ever since that day." Matsu had realized her mother was a flake when her mom casually dropped that Matsu was a foundling and didn't seem to get that this was Big News to her. Sayonji had been adventuring, and by adventuring, I mean being a gal friday for Bentbranch. Barry was busy trying to experiment on solidifying the gunblade and the art of gunbreaking.

Matsu was in the middle of discussing with her father and Krile about trying to become a cleric of Hydaelyn, and then breaking the news that she knew about her birth, when her vision blurred and she blacked out.

Sayonji ran into Temur again, was horribly embarrassed that he hadn't done hardly enough, Temur composed a little ditty on the spot about him helping little old ladies, and Sayonji blacked out.

Barry was walking through Ala Mhigo with his brother when Nero got into a spat with a little girl and her mother, and when the girl attacked him, Nero reacted without thinking and went to rifle-butt-smack her in the face. Barry intervened and blacked out.

They all had a joint vision of themselves in a floating void -- the others were glowing light figures, like the Warriors of Light -- and they got to see themselves as max level as a lil glowing light did the Hear, Feel, Think shtick.

Then they saw the glowing orb start to bleed black mist and shrivel, and an Ascian appeared, picked up the orb, and crumpled it in his fist. Then he shot away, and the three of them were able to give chase and limit break him into non-existence.

When they woke up, they all basically got lil scenes that got them to a boat. Barry asked his brother to cover for him while he went "field testing" and Nero took this to mean he wanted to basically do Garlean Rumspringa and also probably do some casual murdering of Eorzean soldiers, which is a-okay in his book. Nero gave him the thumbsup. Krile was excited about the vision, and Matsu's dad was worried. They urged her to start adventuring, and Krile offered to put in an appointment with Baderon at the Adventurer's Guild in Limsa. Sayonji told Temur about his vision and got a lil ditty in compensation.

It's worth noting right about now that I've been making quest plates for them, so they can keep track of the long-term questions.

Anyway, they all got on their boats. Sayonji and Barry had about a month on the boat together to catch up (Barry was a stowaway). They met Matsu in the Cieldalaes, where Limsa customs is presently, since the Yellowjackets are buttoning up everything in response to a spate of kidnappings.

They met Brennan, the friendly peddler, who chatted with them and asked them why they were adventuring and whatnot.

THEN PIRATES ATTACKED, and we stopped for the day.

Whew

Most of these writeups won't be this long, since they won't encompass THREE SESSIONS plus setup, but at least I have something I can point to now lol

[goldenngore]

Loras is your pretty standard, 100% cis, kinda guy. He doesn't associate himself with feminine things, though he doesn't dislike them. He wears all male assigned clothes, yet he will use feminine beauty products, usually because they smell nicer. But that's not the point of this post, tho.

The point is that while Loras does identify as typically male. When he gets his first invite to the ultimate bougie party aka the met gala. It's the first time he wears make up. Golden eyeshadow and similar cheekbone highlighter, paired with dark eyeliner and mascara and some clear lipgloss. Topped off with some dangly gold earrings.

It's weird seeing himself in the mirror and he even jokes that he looks so good that he could do drag race. he doesn't wear anything outlandish; a seafoam green suit. But he's turning heads all night, and has designers coming at him left and right.

So while the look is far from his average style and Loras is comfortable in his skin. He has fun with it and uses the met gala annually to step out of his skin for a night just for funsies.

[sociieties]

assorted 2 & 3 am thoughts by mars, csm editon. mostly about beam i think

its more so thats he’s extremely temperamental and very aggressive, especially when things dont go Beam’s Way, which is less so “i dont want to kill other devils” and more so “i didnt forget you guys have me working jere against my will bc i was TRICKED and TRAPPED into being here”so ofc hes gonna be too rough and rowdy for anyone in the agency to deal with (makima’s the exception. bc… you know…. but she doesnt want to deal with him herself, which is why it goes unchecked)

but he’s also still a fiend/devilman whos very much (and very importantly) born from the SHARK!!!! devil and as you know about sharks and blood, basically like moths to a flame. it doesnt help that he actually likes fighting and the violence of it all, he’d happily hunt someone down just for funsies but that devil hunter agency has a leash so tight around his neck that he knows better

me, dropping headcanons here bc i cant be assed to format them to post on dash yet

i personally think that beam is more shark devil than human brain of they body more specifically, that beam follows more of the shark devil’s logic and instincts while retaining some of the dude’s impulses, but very little of them like the shark devil overrode the mind of the body years and years ago and specks may remain here and there, but they’ve been together for so long that its almost impossible to discern where one begins and the other ends the entire thing about beam and his speech pattern is a direct result of the shark devil. its something that will happen to any fiend shark devil makes, inevitably giving them blender brain and chopping up a large part of their vocabulary

@razrbomb: PLSSSSdon't even gotta format. why you leaving all this gold in the privacy of thee dms aknfknfr i would lov to read more and see this elaborated more

djdjdjd dw it’ll go on dash after i figure out more its just that the synapse are firing slowly

shark devil is older than devils like angel…. older than war and famine and most of the devils chainsaw consumed….shark devil is literally age old and has been around since the first people learned what a shark is and that is… terrifying to think about

not like. beam specifically. but shark devil as a whole, reincarnation after reincarnation and the likesonly growing stronger and stronger as the days become more and more modern only growing stronger as people begin researching and documenting and the moment people started making shark based horror movies, thats was basically is

as scary as gun devil is … that one movie with that fucking 4 headed shark and the entire sharknado deal going around? sorry, my money’s on shark….

also to be completely 100??? i sorta don’t believe that beam is actually a fiend

partially bc i can’t see and don’t understand wtf would have happened to shark for shark to decide “ykw? i’ll take the L and just deal with the power loss just to live as a fiend rn” bc like be serious, who or what tried killing him and why? also what was on earth in the moment that was so serious for him to commit to staying instead of just taking the reincarnation and going?

clearly shark (beam, but i wholeheartedly believe it’s entirely shark) has the whole im ur biggest fan for chainsaw for reasons unknown but up until denji became a hybrid, im pretty sure its implied that most, if not everyone, didnt know where in the FUCK pochita was? not that i put blind loyalty beyond beam, but still

IF i have to take beam actually being a fiend and that much isnt a lie, then i 1000000000% know deep in my very being that shark killed that person himself. actively sought out *this one guy in particular* at the beach and went “yes, this one is gonna be perfect for me” completely premeditated. tragic corpse.

no clue when pochita died in hell and was reborn on earth, or if he was just blipped over to earth like some reverse summon sorta thing (press x to doubt) BUT angel said that all the other devils that were in other divisions said the last thing they rmr’d in hell was the sound of a chainsaw and now i’m wondering if pochita handpicked the latest batch of devils (and consequently, some of the fiends) that are on earth rn to help him achieve his goal and ofc to get them on earth, they have to die so off he killed, but not consumed, them

but if not, then pochita just be out here killing at random which as likely as that is, i also find it strange that all (most?) the devils in the agency specifically last remember hearing a chainsaw. like thats a weird thing to mention outside of like “yeah chainsaw devil… scary…”

stares at beam shark devil i know you know than you put on you were one of them…. i KNOW you specially was handpicked, but was it bc you were always a follower of chainsaw or did you become a follower as a result….slowly but surely i’m falling down the rabbit hole

[footloosephoenix]

Every Anime I've Ever Watched: The gold, the trash, and everything in-between

So for funsies, I decided to compile an alphabetized list of every anime series I've ever watched, excluding films and shows that I've only seen a handful of episodes for. This list is as exhaustive as my faulty memory (and combing through various other lists of anime) allows me to be. I'll be updating with new entries and anything I might have forgotten. Current Total: 84

And feel free to make recommendations if you don't see your favourite here!

86

Aharan-san wa Hakarenai

Another

Assassination Classroom

Attack on Titan

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Beastars

Blue Lock

Bocchi the Rock

Call of the Night

Cells at Work! Code Black

Chainsaw Man

Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School

Dead Mount Death Play

Death Note

Death Parade

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

The Devil is a Part-Timer!

Dororo

Do It Yourself!!

Dr. Stone

Erased

The Executioner and Her Way of Life

Fate/stay night

Fate/Zero

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Fruits Basket

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Given

Gurren Lagann

Happy Sugar Life

Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto

Heavenly Delusion

Hell's Paradise

Higurashi When They Cry: Gou/Sotsu

Horimiya

Hunter x Hunter

The Idaten Deities Know Only Peace

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Jujutsu Kaisen

Kaguya-sama: Love is War!

Kill la Kill

Komi Can't Communicate

KonoSuba

The Legend of Korra

Link Click

Lycoris Recoil

Mashle: Magic and Muscles

Mob Psycho 100

My Dress-Up Darling

My Hero Academia

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Noragami

One Punch Man

Orange

Oshi no Ko

Platinum End

Pokemon: Indigo League

The Promised Neverland

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny-girl Senpai

Recovery of an MMO Junkie

Re:Creators

Re:ZERO - Starting Life in Another World

Sasaki and Miyano

Serial Experiments Lain

Shangri-La Frontier

Skip and Loafer

Sonic X

Sonny Boy

Spice and Wolf

Spy x Family

Summertime Rendering

Tower of God

Uncle From Another World

Undead Murder Farce

Violet Evergarden

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

When They Cry

Wonder Egg Priority

Your Lie in April

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Zombie Land Saga

[thepringlesofblood]

bonus content for those who read the taz: petals to the metal graphic novel and haven’t listened to the podcast arc

so i decided to do another one of these bc I’m procrastinating doing my homework and I like doing shit like this.

basically, under the cut I’m going to be listing a bunch of stuff from the podcast that wasn’t in the graphic novel, or was changed.

this is NOT to say ‘oh i wished they included that’ - it is to say ‘oh look cool bonus content and extra information and context for me, someone who has not listened to the podcast’

It’s not crystal kingdom level, but petals to the metal is still a LONG arc with a lot of stuff in it. of course they had to cut things for time, or condense them, or change them. None of this is in a ‘um actually in the original it was better’  these are just observations of the differences/changes for funsies, and my opinion on them (mostly positive in case you didn’t notice)

(also important: you can be sad something wasn’t in the novel while still understanding why it isn’t and knowing that the final product is still great)

anyway. spoilers for pttm, but I tried not to spoil anything later than that, so people who have only read/listened this far can enjoy

ch. 1

the carnival was the first real lunar interlude, since ‘moonlighting’ is just them getting the job

the costumes are *chef kiss* perfect, although in the podcast taako dresses up as judge lance ito (lanzito? idk how to spell his name but i’m p sure he was the judge in the oj simpson trials???) bc justin saw a guy do it 3 years in a row at a party and thought it was funny.

that change is pretty obvious, taako does ross from friends in the book which gets across the ‘low effort reused costume thrown together at the last minute’ effect just fine

in the podcast carnival basically there’s just a guy with some cans they can’t knock down and they have some beef and that’s the only real game they play. the unicorn double-barrel special is 100% accurate though.

so in the lunar interludes garfield and the gashapon and the leveling all take place on their own before the carnival obvs, but they get all the same stuff and shenan the same shenanigans pretty much.

what IS notable is that in the podcast, this is the first appearance of garfield the deals warlock.

I don’t know how many of you know his dark origin story

but basically he started as a money zone goof on mbmbam and then griffin put him in the game

significantly, at this point he is an entry-level employee, while he’s the boss next time they meet him. in the book he has always and will always be the boss

there is also a functionality which never appears again where you can just name a price and do a contested roll against garfield’s charisma to pay that for something instead of the sticker price and like. magnus does that.

another bit that i’m very glad didn’t make it into the novel is when merle does this roll, he agrees that if garfield wins, he gets merle’s firstborn child.

(this is to buy the ring of recall, which gives you back a spell slot if the spell fails)

garfield wins. but. taako comes over to save the day with the 100$ extra money he has from selling angus’ silverware and helps him buy it.

so

yeah

that

eesh

also while the whole leon interaction is basically the same, leon actually bites the tokens to make sure they’re real, and everyone dunks on griffin bc he said the tokens were brass not gold

the shield in the book that magnus wants does not exist in the podcast. it was a choice b/w the mystery bag and the eyespy, which in the podcast is called the lens of straight creepin’ (this is where magnus rolls to haggle and wins)

the glass ball that stephen lives in is originally described as ‘softball size’ which is WILD

travis was not nearly as psyched about stephen as magnus was. he goes ‘well griffin it feels like when you ask your parents for a dog and they bring home a goldfish to teach you responsibility’ and griffin straight up is like YEAH THAT IS WHATS HAPPENING CAN CONFIRM but he learns to love him ^v^

the eclipse is the same. where the director is during the eclipse changes.

in the book it’s implied she’s been in her office the whole time, but it is never confirmed. we don’t see her at all before then.

in the podcast, we know beforehand she makes an announcement:

Griffin: The Director, you hear her voice amplified over the yard, and she says:

The Director: Attention, everyone. The Eclipse is about to take place, if you would like to join us in the yard, and join us for the viewing of The Eclipse. Uh, it should be here in just a minute or so.

so ‘us’ implies she is in the yard with them

later, afterwards, griffin says

“The— the Director is the first one to sit up and survey the scene.”

so, she was in the yard with them, and was knocked out when The Thing happened. And she recovers the quickest

they immediate run over to her, and this fun dialogue happens

Griffin: She’s a little bit disoriented. She just woke up, and—

Travis: I slap her.

Griffin: She slaps you back.       

Director: Booyah.

they go around waking other people up with “healing slaps”

taako uses prestidigitation to turn into the sun from the jimmy dean commercials because “he always makes me feel pretty good.”

there’s a time jump b/w the lunar interlude and ep 1 of pttm

ep1 it opens a fun scene of the boys sparring with Avi, Killian, and Pringles (this is where we start calling him Pringles, too) and then the director calling them to her office to inform them about the gaia sash.

highlights

justin, who has not yet confirmed taako’s sexuality, asks griffin if there’s any babes in the audience watching the fight

griffin, uncomfortable: yeah, i guess there are some women...

justin: yeah, there’s women, but are there any baëbes

griffin, catching on: no less than four beëhbes

the book combines the two director office scenes into one (v smart)

some fun bonus director dialogue

they establish that the bob official handshake is the one from Big, and the director says deadpan, dripping gravitas, ‘shimmy shimmy cocoa puff’ while doing it.

as she’s describing goldcliff and being like ‘surely you must have heard of goldcliff’ and this happens

Taako: We actually have only been to three places

Merle: And they’re no longer there.

Taako: …And most of them aren’t there anymore. [laughter]

she also gives them gorp to eat on their way to goldcliff, and tells them her secret ingredient is pistachios with the shells still on, making it pgorp (or gorpp, as taako puts it)

she tells them that last time on the way down in the ball they hit a bunch of unicorns that were endangered and had to pay fines for it. (this isn’t right they were pegasi)

merle horrifically mispronounces “icosagon” (like, I have it written down as omagobrakasbragsbron) provoking griffin to say: “If any of you can tell me what a 20-sided shape is called I will mail you 200$” (none of them get it. justin guess dodecahedron but that’s 12-sided shape)

ch 2

i will tell you right now - i don’t think merle ever uses dampen elements. but they emphasize that in the book instead of the other ability he gets, destroy undead which is Very useful, so maybe there’s an occasion I’m forgetting

when captain bane is like level 6?? in the podcast he also adds ‘i’m about to send three 6-year-olds into battle???’

merle and captain captain bane have a ‘gruff off’ since merle says he wants the monopoly on gruff voices. taako gives them the phrase ‘taako rules’ merle wins bc apparently clint can sound like the devil when he wants.

i. i cant. with the vines. it’s p much the same as in the podcast but please just listen to that one scene or look up an animatic. i can’t describe it. the only things i will put here:

justin says “Statistically speaking, at least one of our listeners has just discovered that they are in possession of the world’s worst fetish!“

griffin asked for it. he said with his mouth “just talk dirty to these plants.“ and clint did.

even funnier, when all of the boys turned against clint for this, clint shouts “YOU STARTED IT, MCELROY!”

you are all mcelroy. you all started it

the trent the treant fight is a lot longer with many more goofs, but the highlight of it for sure is when magnus chops trent in half, and is pissed off that he’s still alive

Travis: But… I chopped him in half!

Griffin: And he did take some damage for that.

Travis: Yeah, I should hope so!

the elevator scene...so beautiful. wonderfully done. the main difference is in the podcast, they have merle climb the stairs while magnus and taako take the elevator.

he’s almost able to save them, but he says he opens the doors at “the last possible second” bc he wants to be cool and dramatic, so griffin is like “welp. you get sucked in bc you tried to do it at the last possible second”

the other main difference is that in the podcast when taako casts blink shuffle jump, there’s no white eyes in the ethereal plane. he also blinks shuffle jumps earlier in the trent fight with no white eyes. given the knowledge i have as someone who has listened to the entirety of the balance arc at least 11 times, I’m pretty sure this is a “griffin forgot to do it in the podcast but dw we fixed it in the novel” situation. I’ll wager that any time taako visits the ethereal plane in the graphic novels going forwards, the eyes will be there. In fact, I really like seeing it here and him reacting to it.

there’s also a fantastic like, 20 seconds, that I would highly recommend listening to. Here’s the transcript

Griffin: Yeah, you climb the stairs, and, uh, it is, uh… It is an uneventful climb to the 20th floor. And a-

Travis: Floor 20!

Griffin: As- What?

Justin: [giggling]

Travis: [giggling] Floor-twenty!

[5 uninterrupted seconds of silence]

Griffin: [angrily] We’re not gonna say anything better than that, like-

Travis: Griffin we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20.

Griffin: [stunned] We, have... 30 more minutes to go,

Justin: [giggles]

Griffin: And, we’re not gonna say anything better than that.

Clint: [laughs]

Griffin: Did you even think about that?

sloane is pretty much the same - I love her so much

ch 3

the stuff with hurley folds out naturally enough, although sergeant detective strawberry isn’t anything more than a passing joke in the podcast. he’s just there in the book to tell you that silverpoint poison = bad.  and occasionally be someone for cpt. cpt. bane to talk to.

merle actually does cast zone of truth in the podcast, and everyone fails their save but him, so hurley tells them all the truth and merle tells some real dumb lies just because he can

later on this leads to this wonderful exchange of taako reassuring hurley about getting sloane back:

Taako: Uh, listen. I know you’re really worried about your friend right now, and I know you don’t know us really well. But let me promise you this.

Justin: Are we out of the zone of truth?

Griffin: Yeah, yeah. You’re far away from it.       

Taako: Everything’s gonna be fine.

speaking of, merle is a lot nicer in the books, mostly because clint has the benefit of reflection and time - the funniest improv is not always the most moral improv. He thanks hurley for saving his life in the book and it’s really sweet, meanwhile in the podcast he’s repeatedly suggesting cannibalism or gaslighting a guy into thinking god’s going to kill him with a train. not an exaggeration.

I forget exactly when, but at one point when they’re following hurley somewhere, magnus steals a keychain for absolutely no reason, then gives it back bc he got caught. gotta love it.

ch 4

i love love love the jumpcut of hurley telling them not to kill anyone to them throwing barbara off a cliff

yes, barbara. there’s. just so much of a scene of them getting rid of the 3 gang members guarding the entrance to their lair. they all have different ideas and decide to try them one by one. I can’t fully explain it here please go listen this is when gaslighting a guy into thinking god’s going to kill him with a train happens and it’s the funniest thing ever. (it’s episode 21, pttm pt 4, little over halfway through the episode.) quick overview

merle tries preaching the good word of pan to them but it ends up more like ‘what if you died? right now? what would happen? a train could run through this building right now and then where would you be?’ and he scares a guy with a train sound so bad that he runs off into the night.

important: the guy that runs off is Little Jerry. the guy that stays and does most of the talking is Jerreeeeee.  there is also a guy in the security booth.

then magnus comes over and is like hello i would like to join your gang please :)

theres a huge entrance fee though so at first he tries to trade stephen for it but doesn’t expect griffin to say yes and when Jerreeeeee actually agrees he’s like....not this fish. but I got a guy and he can set your whole gang up with fish, i’ll send you his chainlinkedin

eventually he gets Jerreeeeee to go inside and get the boss, then pretends to have something to do and leaves.

taako comes back disguised as Little Jerry (using the spell disguise self). but then the real Little Jerry comes back and taako casts sleep on him like ‘oh no an imposter! we gotta go check on the arcane core!’

and the dumb thing? security booth totally agrees with him. they’re all set to go until security booth’s like ‘wait we should take the fake little jerry and interrogate him’ and taako...doesn’t handle it well.

Taako: [as Little Jerry] When’d you turn in- When’d you go soft? Huh? When’d you go soft?       

Ruffian 3: Well no, it’s just like- we need to- gather information-

Taako: [as Little Jerry] When we were growin’ up- we were growin’ up together, in the streets. Out there, in the streets of Goldcliff. Y’know, we- You- were never soft.       

Ruffian 3: We met, like, two months-       

Taako: [as Little Jerry] You saw- you saw a dead bird, you-      

Ruffian 3: We met, like, two months ago!

Taako: [as Little Jerry] You saw a dead bird, you’d step on it. You’d say, ‘I hate birds!’ You were- you had, no heart. Heartless Hank, we called you. Was it Hank? Remind me what your real name is, ‘cause I can only remember the great nicknames I’ve given you over the months.

and security booth gives him an ultimatum - say my real name, right now, or I’ll kill you

and justin says...”It is completely conceivable he would have a nametag. Maybe.”

griffin: in a gang?! in a gang?!?

anyway. griffin lets justin guess. he has him take off his headphones, and tells the other two the name: barbara

justin comes back on and after some dithering says his name is taako “Psych, that’s just mine! Say my name! I cast magic missile.”

and barbara gets killed. and that’s who gets thrown off the cliff at the beginning of ch 4.

ok i s2g that’s the last of that scene it’s just so so so good i needed the world to know

from here on the main differences are that in podcast taako is disguised as lil jerry the whole time and maarvey is a man.

they probably made maarvey a woman to avoid having the only female characters this arc be our beautiful lesbian plant ladies who definitely don’t die - respect

also i appreciate the continuation of the new elfington joke

there’s a whole conversation when Magnus goes to pull the lever and squish the guys where Justin’s like “wait. wait. we were SPECIFICALLY told not to kill anyone” and they argue and decide that magnus should hit it once and then again to stop it, so they just pin the guys in place. they try to do this and griffin’s like “and the guys get squished anyway bc that’s not how any of this works!”

at one point Merle casts calm emotions to try and reason with Klaarg/G’nash. Klaarg resists but the guy he’s holding doesn’t and is very chill while he’s getting choked out and thrown around

also in the podcast they continue the theme of bugbears being like exploited and trafficked and stuff so the hammerheads supposedly “bought” him, glad they cut that shit out.

ch 5

in the podcast it isn’t like. super confirmed that hurley and sloane were dating. not queerbait but not explicit like it in the book.

griffin received some well-deserved criticism about this arc and the ‘bury your gays trope’ and making queer characters explicitly queer and he really took it to heart (he talks about it in a ttazz) so I’m glad to see the effects of that in the gn.

I feel like part of the gn series is like. fixing mistakes/problematic aspects. not in a bad way, not in like a shitty retcon way, but in a nice way that’s like ‘we recognize that we’ve made mistakes and hurt people unintentionally, and we want to show that we’re listening and trying to do better this time around’

that’s one of the things i really like about the mcelroys tbh is their willingness to say ‘we fucked up, how do we fix it’

sorry thats not pttm related ill shut up now

throughout the podcast, the adamant spanner is referred to alternately as “the adamant spanner” or “the arc-light spanner” or sometimes “the adamantium spanner”

p sure it started out as the arc-light spanner and then they forgot what it was called. fun stuff tho

as hurley keeps bring them stuff in boxes, griffin keeps pausing for dramatic effect when describing what’s in them and everyone else keeps cutting him off with other things

ya had to be there but example: “Its a really big…black…metal…” “DILDO” “DAMMIT” (the third time he anticipates it and says “and its dildos and pizza”)

the stone of farspeech call to sloane at the end of the chapter is new. i like it.

griffin mentions that although hurley does have a halfling size safety holster for merle, it’s tight on him bc of how stocky dwarves are, and there’s all sorts of jokes about fantasy spanx and it being very slimming on him while he simmers in rage.

glad they removed this one but the term “fantasy spanx” is hilarious

Hurley is the one who says the mice skeleton thing

in the podcast they choose which animals to look like, so taako like, chooses the mongoose.

the whole “fully realized creation” monologue is 100% accurate and FANTASTICALLY rendered.

hurley makes them based on their request which is nice of her

when describing the montage of the night before the race, he describes it as “This is like a summer vacation montage, not a rocky training montage. Like camp nowhere.”

ch. 6

the race. is. awesome. they kept almost everything from the podcast.

tiny thing: magnus uses railsplitter on the glass of the octopus tank, and the first time it just puts a crack in it, and he’s like ‘it’s glass???? shouldn’t it break???’ and griffin is like ‘it’s THICK glass it has to hold a giant octopus and a bunch of water’ but the second time he gets it.

merle actually gives magnus a buff (bull’s strength) before going into the battle, unusually doing a normal cleric thing.

Griffin: “His eyebrows grow three sizes and move half a foot up his face. He’s got a lot of face”

garyl actually gets got :/ he misses a dex save and is destroyed under the wheels of one of the battlewagons. he and justin assure the audience that as a phantom steed, he cannot die and can be summoned back at any time.

Klaarg/g’nash just. bounces off in the safety harness after the laser thing.

quality quotes

Justin: “Does it look dangerous? Does it look like it’s gonna hurt him”

Griffin: “last night I googled the most dangerous octopus and you know what came up?”

Justin: “It’s a very tense situation”

Griffin: “yeah its almost like I engineered it to be that way”

they spend way longer on hurley and sloane cute bonding moments in the gn and i APPROVE

what happens to the shark tank is. a bit gorier in the podcast. like a guy gets his legs sliced off gorier.

is taako allowed to say think outside the bun?????

they truly perfectly captured the wand of switcheroo moment.

in the podcast there’s some goofs bc when taako does it there’s still like a short amount of race left to do, so they’re all trying to beat each other now that sloane has definitely lost. its all pretty funny but def kind of defuses the tension a bit too much before sloanes big dramatic drive off the cliff.

ch 7

thank you mcelroys for having hurley explicitly say “girlfriend” in the gn. its not like avoided or hidden or anything in the podcast, it’s just less explicitly spelled out for you (for dramatic effect tbh).

goofy ass thing - taako calls himself “weasel-man” in the podcast instead of “man-goose” bc he forgot the highly specific mask he was wearing? or maybe he thought mongoose is a type of weasel?

(i looked it up theyre different species mongoose =/= weasel)

the arcane core getting sucked up into taako’s umbrastaff restoring all his spell slots. the gn is perfect, it’s just that the energy of the scene simply doesn’t translate. I just. I just need to describe it as it is described in the podcast.

basically taako goes to cast fireball again right? and he casts the spell and rolls the damage and griffin goes, “actually, keep rolling. I’ll tell you when you’re done”

and the tension just mounts. with every roll. until

Griffin: The sun basically comes out of the end of your Umbra Staff.

I copy-pasted the transcript bc it simply is such an iconic scene. skip if you want but it’s just *chef kiss*

(happens around 40 min into ep 27, pttm pt 10)

Griffin: Yeah, you point the Umbra Staff at the-- at this towering vine giant and fireball starts to come out of the tip of it but it’s like, really big?

Justin: Uh oh.

Griffin: And-- and it’s not-- it hasn’t like fully come out of it yet, it’s almost like a drop of water that hasn’t really fallen out of the faucet yet, so go ahead and keep rolling those D6s.

Justin: [Snorts] Okay… [rolls] 3 [rolls] 9 [rolls] 11 [rolls] 15 [rolls] 18 [rolls] will you tell me when to stop?

Griffin: Yup.

Justin: 22 [rolls] 23 [rolls] 29 [rolls] 33 [rolls] 37 [laughs] [rolls] 43 [rolls].

Clint: This is worrying me.

Justin: Yeah. 47 [rolls] 48.

Griffin: Okay, that’s good.

Justin: Okay.

Griffin: Okay, so it’s 48 on top of the 32?

Justin: Yeah.

Griffin: For a total of 160?

Justin: ...Yeah.

Griffin: The sun basically comes out of the end of your Umbra Staff.

an interesting thing to note. for longtime fans of the show. is that. magnus (who is definitely in the aoe of the spell) does not have to roll and takes no damage. he’s inside the vine monster but so is sloane and she definitely feels that fire. on a first watch this comes off as “this moment is cool enough that griffin decided not to hit magnus with the giant, giant fireball that just happened” and that could 100% be what happened

but if you’ll come into my little theory corner, where there are *SPOILERS FOR ALL OF TAZ BALANCE* i had a thought upon listening to this for the 17th time. taako cannot spellshape. griffin repeatedly tells him that since he switched from being an evocation wizard to being a transmutation wizard, he is no longer able to spellshape (meaning, shape an aoe spell so it only hits who you want it to hit, similar to what happened to magnus here).

So. taako is not spellshaping. that’s something only an evocation wizard is capable of. now who do we know who specializes in evocation and umbrellas? 0.0

just a thought. could be total crack. *END SPOILERS*

ch 8.

every beat of hurley and sloane’s final scene is perfect. no changes made or required.

one short joke right after the tree transformation that was skipped (fairly)

Justin: I notice Magnus reaching for Railsplitter and I say,

Taako: Don’t even think about it!

in the podcast, this is when griffin is still in the “roll a wisdom save against the grand relics to see if they thrall you” era,

taako goes up to get the sash and fails the save, and griffin has hurley and sloane speak into his mind and give him advantage (so they’re still ambiguously probably not dead in the podcast) and he still fails the save 

there’s a hilarious, terrifying moment where he lifts it up like he’s about to put it on and the other boys descend on him, merle making the save and magnus holding him back.

i like merle going up to the sash like its a frightened animal in the gn. it’s good.

“I don’t need your help, pal, to have sex with an onion!” is straight from the podcast. they just made it snappier for the gn. love to see it folks.

the gn makes clear at every point possible that they DID not die, and are cool dryad ladies now. originally none of that was intended - in the podcast, while they’re not really dead (see above), they’re certainly not up and walking about anymore.

in a ttazz griffin mentions that he wanted this first epic romance to have a tragic ending, so he intended for the turning into a tree to be the end of hurley and sloane’s story.

but then people told him about the ‘bury your gays’ trope and how it really disappointed taz’s predominantly queer listener base when hurloane seemingly died, and the madlad retconned it and worked hurley and sloane coming back as dryads into the finale. iconic. we love a man who can own his mistakes and work to better himself.

 ooh the scene w capt. capt. bane. the deciding not to drink the brandy.

in the gn its very cut and dry. bane asks abt resisting the thrall, and then proposes a toast, and they all say no.

i understand why it was changed 100%. in the podcast, after he proposes the toast to hurley, they all start making tree puns about it, not saying no but not saying yes, and he gets. antsy.

Griffin: He is uh, he is looking at the three of you sort of expectantly, and he looks kind of nervous as he’s holding this drink up.

Captain Bane: Uh, a toast- a toast then. Have you guys ever toasted before?

Merle: Marshmallows…

Magnus: I like toast!

Captain Bane: N-- [sighs] it’s bad luck if you don’t drink after the toast.

and that’s when they decide not to drink.

it just kind of gives more context then “they suddenly decide to not drink”

instead of cpt cpt bane losing it on them and getting physical, in the podcast taako casts charm person on him the second he gets too aggressive about them drinking the brandy.

but griffin says that it feels like taako’s charm person spell is being overpowered by another spell on cpt cpt bane.

and then the red robe goes all ham on the possession and makes cpt cpt bane drink all the brandy n shit

the red robe is like. way more cryptic in the podcast. ik you’re like “wait how is that possible???” but it is.

“are you afraid?...... are you afraid of the dark? ........you do not know how to be afraid”

some real theater kid shit. I like the gn version better, it makes more sense for the overall arc and flows better.

still talks about the hunger of all living things and the past relic users, but doesn’t mention the director.

instead, ends with “This is your first lesson.”

“lessons” never come up in any context ever again. i’m pretty sure a lot of this was griffin being vague and threatening so he can come up with stuff to back it up later, and that is so, so valid.

*minor spoilers*

in the podcast Griffin uses a gendered pronoun* for the red robe right out the gate, as does the director. this is the pronoun the red robe uses for the entire podcast. idk if griffin using the correct pronoun as the director is an assumption on her part of the red robe’s gender/pronouns, griffin just forgetting whether or not the director would know the red robe’s pronouns, or him trying to convey that the director does know the red robe’s pronouns, but just want to put that out there.

i also don’t know if knowing the red robe’s pronouns counts as spoilers. hence the warning

but in the gn when they talk to the director about it they all default to they/them - the spoiler here is that that isn’t the pronoun used by the red robe. you probably could’ve guessed that. hence the ‘minor’

*any pronoun can be gendered, but in this case I’m specifically talking about the difference b/w using they/them as a “neutral” option because you don’t know someone’s pronouns vs knowing the pronouns that someone prefers.

*end minor spoilers*

magnus does try to beat the shit out of an incorporeal being though and it’s exactly as entertaining.

ch 9

i just. this scene is maybe the most different. for the better.

first off, it takes place in the lunar interlude, and it takes place after the relic disposal chamber destruction bit

the director’s whole speech at the end is new, mostly to show off our cool new dryad ladies, v valid, and to drop some VERY big foreshadowing in that last panel!!

merle’s interaction with the director is much more sincere in the gn as well as being much more there.

but there’s just a LOT of lunar interlude stuff that gets skipped in the gn. I don’t think covering it all here would be helpful, just listen to lunar interlude II, it’s one of the best ones. here’s the transcript and the episode

stuff gets skipped for lunar interludes in general. I CANNOT recommend highly enough that even if you don’t listen to the rest of the podcast, you at least listen to the lunar interludes, bc it looks like that’s where they’re cutting out the most meat.

highlights from this lunar interlude (ep 28. Lunar Interlude II - Internal Affairs) include:

voidfish bonding time. so good. so good. a truly iconic, unmissable moment. if nothing else, listen to this.

they have to bring cpt cpt bane’s stuff down for the rites of rememberance (aka johann chucks his life story into the tank so it can get erased while the boys awkwardly try to eulogize about this guy who tried to kill them)

lucas is there and they meet him and hate him instantly. he leaves.

they say hi to the voidfish and it sings to them!

johann is like ‘it usually doesn’t sing like that’

and then magnus puts a hand on the glass and it puts a tentacle back...it’s so beautiful.

pringles has been thrown in the brig :/

the boys get a promotion! new quarters!

angus joins up with the BOB for the first time and the boys say hello to him again (with appropriate bullying)

quality gachapon (goshapon? gawshupon?) antics w leon. they get

defender’s dial - magnus

cloak of the manta ray - taako

physician’s pendant - merle (you will never hear about this magic item again)

first use of the official fantasy costco jingle. within the clutches of the costco...

the first appearance of the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom. 

magnus gets the Shield of Heroic Memories and the Glutton’s fork (which is never used in the gn for good reason) but has to sell back his old shield signed in blood to afford them

merle gets the nitpicker, the phone-a-friend scrying bones, and a rusty can of cheerwine which he drinks, raising his max hp by 5 points.

taako gets the immovable rod, the plastic sheriff’s badge, and the anti-gravity sphere, and trades back the gustmaster 5000. this will be a minor plot hole later.

some of this bleeds into the beginning of crystal kingdom but no major spoilers.

plus, i wanted to make a list of things that are different so the boys don’t get sued by wizards of the coast (the dnd people). it’s mostly spell names, but also klaarg is actually in the lost mines of phandelver, the box campaign that the first arc started out as.

anyway here’s all the ones I noticed at least. formatted like: gn name = dnd name


UPDATE: made a more comprehensive post

g’nash = klaarg

haverdale = phandalin

shuffle jump = blink

dampen elements = absorb elements

blast of fire = scorching ray

magic rope = rope trick

sleepy-time = sleep

clair-vision = clairvoyance

diminish size = reduce

the spell is enlarge/reduce, and later on they use “enlarge” with no trouble - why is it “diminish size” here???

spirit steed = phantom steed

ethereal weapon = spiritual weapon

gout of flames = fireball

blessings of the cherubim = prayer of healing

concussive force = concussive blast(?)

Taako just magic missiles the boar in the podcast

they probably wanted to spice things up a bit since magic missile kind of has a Brand.

Concussive blast is a real 3rd level evocation spell that taako would’ve been able to cast, it just doesn’t actually happenin the podcast

levitate is still levitate

how is that one ok but “sleep” has to be “sleepy-time”??

zone of truth is still zone of truth, idk how they got away with that one

destroy undead is a toughie

it’s technically not a spell, it’s a use of channel divinity, at while at first it’s called turn undead, when you reach level 5 you get to automatically destroy any low-level undead (each time you level up you can destroy one level up of undead), so the ability is called destroy undead from that point onward, but you still do the turning bit too.

it doesn’t say the name, but on pg 123 taako casts “crown of madness” on the gerbil guy, which is a Horrifying spell

the crickets cast “dominate person” to control taako in case anyone’s interested. 


welp that oughta be enough bonus content for 18 years. we’ll see if I get a job this summer before writing the next one lol

[nightsjourney-into-thedreamscape]

About my Universe.

The world has changed since the fall of Wiseman. The night dimension returns to it's natural balance between dreams and nightmares. Both have no mass reign of power between them and will clash for right over the dreamer. Nightopia ------------- Nightopia has entered it's golden age of dreams. 12 doors appear in the center of the gateway between the world of dreams and the waking world. Time has began to flow and so does the voices that call out from chips. The doors 12 doors stand before you at the gate. Which door is yours? Which lucid dreamer is behind door color PINK? find out! Nightopians -------- Nightopians finally can flourish once more. The link gauge will keep these buddies from just going extinct. The link gauge is a new fangled machine expresso made It takes chips and flies about to drop them onto nightopians. The presure from wiseman has lifted stress off their life span... yet still hunted for fun. A healthy nightgarden is a happy dream. Owlets --------- - Owl: tutorial on history, dad jokes, retired, sleepy - Latte : knows about creatures. Wants you to find octopaw, Timtams, Dreambies, Blisfulies, Cloudogies, -Frappe: Loves beautiful works of nature will probably scribble it all down. -Macchiato : Documents nightmaren behavior... will help you if you get stuck. -Cappuccino : Collects dream drops, chips, and will keep them on them for storage. -Expresso: Shop keeper of your dreams. you want to will a hat into existence? what about play food, want your outfits from the past back? got it. Christmas, Halloween, valentines day? mmmhmm he's got everything for chips. he's friends with a very special someone who needs chips. Visitors and voices ------- Chips are the voices of dreamers who can only barely reach the night dimension they often chip in their opinions, questions, concepts. (Small questions, thoughts, compliments. ) Sometimes people can fade into the dimension. for very short periods of time. Everyone wants to meet them however dream dimentioners should be patient not to jump on the visitors. (Character interaction (you), Anons being silly) NiGHTS ----------- Playful creature of this dimension with a curious past... Wants to have fun and show you a good time. Desires to befriend you and see your dreams. "Wait a minute but isn't there 15 doors in th-"Lots to explore, secrets, Easter eggs and more. (shenanigan's with other universe characters just for funsies) Has a lot to think about when they're alone... Many burnt bridges. Victories and old friends. Nightmare ----------- A twisted land of fear and the unknown. Bursting with what remaining power Wiseman once absorbed for himself. Fabric and gold and jewels containing his evil essence is still scattered across nightmare ready to strengthen those with it's overwhelming power. Reala -------- Ruler of nightmare. The formal loyal second hand mare of wiseman. Has taken the reins to keep nightmare from collapsing. He needs all the mares he has to upkeep everything, In quest of rebuilding the fallen plains. He needs your ideya willingly or forcefully. He's seen plenty of marens fall to the hands of wiseman. If only his old master knew the fate of Nightmare that he left them in. Wants revenge on NiGHTS. Who knows if they'll ever see eye to eye again on things... First level nightmaren -------------------------- Jackle -------- Proud, loud, and ready to read off your fate. Now is Realas second hand nightmaren. With Realas blessing he's now 100% first level nightmaren after they collected some of wisemans residual power. He's back in buisness to cause the most obscure fear endusing dreams. Bomamba ------------- After searching the depths of nightmare. She was found insane and starving. ... You know what ever happened to her cats....? Skinny bo peep... has lost her kitties... you know at least they're still in her... ...Heart? Donbalon (Wip of new name after re-drawn) ----------- Once as curvy as puffy... now he's just torn up... she tried to sew him back together again... but the look in his eyes now is way scarier than he ever

was. I guess you could say Wiseman still has his nose.... Second level nightmarens ------------------------------ Puffy: Setting up the show behind the scenes. Claws: Beefing with Cerberus. Gotta keep those pups in check. Gilwing: wants to see you again. Gulpo: Hungry and ready for round 2. Girania: Inside sparkles like jewels... but now it's reinforced their stomach. Chamelan: Has learned a few new games. wishes he was as cool as Jackle. Queen bella: Wants to fight on a not lava covered battlefield... watch those fangs. Cerberus: Feed often. Keep nightmaren limbs away from these pups who could make nightmare extinct. Third level Nightmarens ---------------------------- Nice little nightmare. don't you bite. DON'T ALSO EAT THE NIGHTOPIANS. Pesky. carefree nightmares. They are not strong. Easily overcome by simple happy thoughts. Fun to take care of. if you want to let them bite you for food... if not nightopians work just fine... ((I always thought you could keep them alive by them attacking you..))

Selph ------- Being of uneventful nights. Where they came from is.... unknown? Or is it...? Collector of chips. obsessed with visitors... most of the time they're with you... sometimes. they'll let you visit NiGHTS. Maybe Reala. Depends on how lucid you are. They eat the stress from your normal day away. "I am the one who has you most of the dreamtime..." "When we are together there is no memory greater." "Even when you forget me... I'll be here in the clouds of sleep. " "I can only fight off awakers for so long... Perhaps they are fond of you as well." "In-between dream and nightmare, I will always hold you dear."

((... this was before I learned clicking jpg instead of png will murder any drawings quality)) Mepians ---------- Not quite a nightopian... not quite a nightmaren... They're unloved and look to you for knowledge and love. They're fond of their hero too. Awakers ---------- Little blobs that take you back your world. They're harmless. Sometimes visitors have problems with being beloved by too many awakers... They don't like NiGHTS, Reala, Or Selph. Mostly because they take them away ... so they gather in numbers... They just want to see you home safely though... but NiGHTS has a problem with them giving too much attention to certain visitors... it's just not normal for them to wake up so much. Illuvsions ----------- Have you ever had a weird dream about a crush? someone you're just intrested in... Or just even strange romantic feelings about a creature or a thing. It's probably a Illuvsion. They take forms of ones you love are sustained by your feelings. These neutral creatures appear in dreams and you could be happy with them... but finding them in a nightmare... cause major affects on ones psyche.

[pedroalonso]

it’s so funny to me how the fandom is so divided about palermo’s development there is no middle ground in any of the arguments i’ve seen so far

Martín has always been a divisive character from the start and I honestly love that for him. lmao. But yeah, In truth, I can’t scroll through the LCDP tag without seeing someone ranting about Palermo, either negatively or positively regarding his arc this season.

And after thinking about it for a while, I realize that a large chunk of people’s arguments (my own included) are deeply rooted in personal interpretation and biases. We all have our own takes on a character. We project either our likes or dislikes on them, depending on our own life experiences and beliefs. It’s not wrong to do so, it’s literally a normal thing humans do. To personalize a story in a way that resonates with them.

But at the end of the day, characters are not sentient beings. They are narrative tools to tell a story and move the plot forward. While we can get a gauge of the “basics” of a character from the stuff we are presented with in canon, we can never really be certain about “who they are” because they aren’t real. Their development is dependent on what kind of story is being told, and writers will always adjust their characters to fit the current narrative.

In terms of Volume 1, the writers have always hinted that they wanted to make the final season “an explosive one”, meaning they wanted to make it more action heavy. And looking back on it now, they succeeded in doing what they set out to do. The new season was like an action movie. Lots of gunfire. Explosions. It’s easy to brush it off as LCDP mimicking another Hollywood blockbuster to increase viewership, but I think it made sense. It showed us how dire their situation is in the bank. How much deep shit they were in that the military was willing to bomb the building and inadvertently kill hostages just to catch them. And the first volume ended with the MAIN CHARACTER getting killed off. Like the stakes were so high not even the goddamn narrator survived. The show is literally telling us how fucked things are for the band.

So with that said, the characters adjusted to this “action” movie vibe the writers wanted to go with. And I think they all acted accordingly. There was less conflict within the group because they worked together to beat a common enemy, setting aside their personal issues to get the job done and survive. And while it’s true that some character arcs (Palermo’s especially) had to be set aside, it was because they HAD to in order to move the plot forward. How much sense would it make if Martín kept raving on about the gold when the Bank was literally exploding around him? He’s a chaotic asshole, yeah. But give him more credit than that, he’s not an idiot. The gold can wait. He needs to survive NOW.

And again, narrative wise, who he is in Part 5 directly connects to his last scene in Part 4. He made a promise to do better and they followed it through in literally the first episode of Volume 1, where he’s shown to be more remorseful for his actions. If he just went back to being an angry asshole, it wouldn’t have made sense because otherwise, what was his last scene in Part 4 supposed to be for?? Just for funsies?? No, of course not. They were already foreshadowing where his arc was heading in Part 5.

And I know LCDP sucks at maintaining continuity. There are a lot of plotholes that haven’t been addressed because they probably forgot about it or deemed it unnecessary. (Like me, for example, wondering if Martín knows it was Helsinki who blew up the tunnel that resulted in Andrés death??? Like I want that angst PLEASE).

But, hear me out. What LCDP fails in continuity, they make up for emotional terrorism. Not only are they more than capable of killing off likable characters (NAAAAIROBI), they are also very good at making unlikeable characters… not always loveable. But understandable, in a way. More empathetic. For example: Berlin was 100% a disgusting dipshit in the Mint, yes, but in the end when he sacrifices himself to save the gang and you find out he and the Professor were brothers this whole time? That was a twist. Maybe you didn’t end up liking Berlin, but you felt pain for Sergio for losing someone so obviously dear to him. They made you feel sorry for seeing this asshole go.

Which brings me to my final point. Characters are used to convey a theme. What do they represent in the story? Berlin’s thematic arc in the first two seasons, for example, was him going from a villain to an anti-hero. From the moment we find out about his terminal illness, we knew he was going to die either way. You can see him grappling with his mortality — about the inevitability of his death. And it seemed like he was planning to live out his last remaining years being an asshole surrounded by a shitload of money, until he ultimately dies from his illness.

But then, he sacrifices himself. Not only does he escape the “humiliating” decline that was to befall him when he escapes, he also gave meaning to his death. He, the heartless evil bastard, made himself the hero in the end. How rude!

So, when it comes to Martín, we have to think: What is his purpose in this story? What is the theme he’s trying to convey? Is it the tragedy of an unrequited love? Or is it learning to let it go?

Because looking back in episode two of Part 3, Sergio recruits Martín in a dirty flat in Palermo, littered with empty liquor bottles and Martín himself looking like a mess. When he broaches the topic of the heist, Martín can barely mention Andrés without his voice cracking. And when he and Sergio do discuss Andrés, he screams and gets angry and cries. He was obviously still mourning Andrés, who at this point, died FIVE YEARS AGO. That is not… a normal grieving period. May it be due to the lack of a support system after Andrés’s death (since I doubt Sergio visited), or the lack of real closure between him and Andrés, or something else, the point is… Martín Berrote was not okay. He was still clinging to Andrés in some way. Still unable to move on.

So when Sergio proposes to do the Bank of Spain heist and Martín accepts, his thematic arc began. He is introduced as Andrés’s long suffering best friend who was in love with him for years until he was eventually discarded. A lot of his moments in the show discuss and convey this dynamic. From him telling Sergio he loved the plan as much as he loved Andrés, to Nairobi confronting him about Berlin, to Martín himself telling Helsinki how Andrés leaving him made him the “asshole” he is today.

His theme is not just about his love for Andrés, but his grief and suffering because of it. Where the show will eventually take it is still debate-able, and we’ll have to wait for Volume 2 for that. But viewing Martín’s whole arc in this way, through the scenes they chose to put about him, and the way they connect it to the main plot — his development this season did not come out of the blue. It made logical and narrative sense. It all connects! This was the kind of story they wanted for him from the start.

[girlboss-molina]

Be Who You Are (No Compromise)

A Julie and the Phantoms Modern Royalty AU

Chapter 3: A Demonstrative Lesson in Simping

AO3 Link

Words: 12.8k

-----

Alex POV

...

It had been a week, and Alex hadn’t seen Willie since that fateful night when he’d earned the nickname “your royal pancakeness.” It was probably better that way, to be honest. The way Willie moved, everything about him, the energy that surrounded him, it made Alex feel weird and fluttery. If his anxious reading through the random romance novels on the bookshelf in his room, plus his constant googling of “do I have a crush” quizzes (on incognito tabs, obviously; treason wasn’t very high on his bucket list) said anything about his current situation, though, he was royally screwed. 

No pun intended.

It didn’t help, either, that every time he thought about the baker’s smile, his long hair, the way his dark eyes crinkled at the edges when he laughed, a shiver ran down Alex’s spine. It was so confusing. How the hell could he have a crush on someone he barely knew?

He dragged a hand down his face, staring at the ceiling. Laying on the floor and questioning his existence had become a daily occurrence, oftentimes - like today - with Luke by his side. 

“Emotions are the bane of my existence,” he said plaintively, not bothering to look away from the high ceilings, letting the flecks of dust in the air blend in with the tiny spots in his vision after not blinking for so long. “Like,” he continued, “how is it logical that a couple little zaps to the brain can make your stomach drop, or make your palms sweat, or even a week after something happened, still make you feel cold and warm at the same time?”

He wasn’t sure if the question was meant to be rhetorical, but he was still grateful for Luke’s reply, however unhelpful it may turn out to be.

“Bro, I don’t know,” he agreed. “Like, one minute you’re fine, and the next you’re about to accidentally commit treason.” Alex let out a dry laugh.

“Tell me about it.” A few moments passed, and he blinked, finally letting new moisture clear his vision. “Also, called it.”

“Wh-” Luke started, clearing his throat. “What do you mean, ‘called it?’”

“You like Julie?” Alex assumed, ignoring the swelling bubble of treasonous worry in his stomach. “I might’ve overthought every possible aspect of this, and your comment about accidental treason confirmed what I already thought.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke drag a hand down his face, heard him groan.

“I barely know her,” he started, “but I’m already so… I don’t even know the word. Intrigued? Infatuated? In-something.” Alex nodded, letting his head smack back down on the carpet. “I’m sorry,” he added. 

“Why?”

“I can only imagine how much this must be on your anxiety, and this doesn’t help.”

“It doesn’t, but it’s not the first bit of accidental treason.” His eyes finally flicked away from their spot on the ceiling as Luke bolted upright. 

“No way,” he said. “Who?” Alex’s cheeks flushed. Before he could respond, though, Luke spoke again. “Wait, let me get this straight. Well, gay. You’ve liked a guy for an entire week, and you didn’t tell me? This is a betrayal of our friendship!” Alex knew he was being dramatic.

“You say that as if you didn’t do the exact same thing,” he countered. Luke considered that for a moment. 

“Whatever. Okay, details.”

“His name’s Willie,” he said. “He’s a baker down at the kitchens behind the grand hall.” Alex saw a huge grin spread on Luke’s face, but couldn’t bring himself to share his friend’s ever-blooming optimism. He sighed. “Do you think there’s a way to go through with the marriage but like, platonically? Like, just tell the people ‘yeah we’re getting married, just not romantically.’ I just think that would work out better for everybody.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Luke said. “Not sure how it would work out, but I agree.”

“On the plus side, being criminals automatically makes us at least 50% cooler.”

“Dude, aren’t you the one with anxiety?”

“I have my moments.”

A familiar knock rang on the door. How, in one week, it had become so familiar, they would never know. But as Alex told Reggie to come in, his infectious smile permeated through the room like the smell of vanilla on a cold day. 

“Did I hear something about treason?” he asked excitedly. “Because I am always down. Tell your friends; you need a treason buddy, I’m your guy. But of course, for legal reasons, that’s a joke.” Alex snorted. 

Reggie had managed to weasel his way into both his and Luke’s hearts in a matter of days. He was so sweet, so loving, and such a dork, how could he not? Luke’s interactions with Reggie reminded Alex of two best friends who supported each other unconditionally. Alex’s own interactions with the princess’s brother? They were more like bantering siblings who loved each other so much, but were not above toilet-papering the other’s room. 

“Well,” Luke began, “the arranged marriage was already a major fuck-up on the council’s decision. We could add in some treason to the mix. Just for funsies.”

“You just want to hang out with Julie, don’t you?” Alex prodded. Luke flushed, and Reggie grinned. 

“Called it.”

“Oh come on, you too?”

“Dude,” Reggie said. “I love you, but you’re not exactly subtle.” Luke pouted, and Alex cracked up. “You, on the other hand,” Reggie added, “I’m not sure who your treasonous crush is.”

“A baker named Willie,” Luke interjected before Alex could reply. “And I still haven’t heard the story of how you met, I might add.” Alex groaned.

“I assume there’s no way I’m getting out of this?”

“Not a chance,” Luke and Reggie replied in unison.

This was going to be a disaster.

…

After explaining the details of how he met Willie, and enduring multiple agonizing minutes of Reggie and Luke gushing about an “adorable, treasonous meet-cute,” Alex finally prodded Luke for details about his feelings for Julie. 

“Uh, well, it’s not really feelings, plus, I doubt Reggie wants to hear about hypothetical feelings someone might have for his sister.”

“Wrong,” Reggie said. “I want to know everything.” Alex laughed. 

“See, I would explain, but the self-defense class starts in a minute-”

“Thirty,” Reggie corrected.

“Like I said, it starts in a minute, so I’d better run.” Without another word, he bolted out the door.

“You can’t keep running from your feelings forever,” Alex called to Luke.

“No, but I can run from you two goons!” Alex and Reggie couldn’t contain their laughter by that point, so they let that simp of a man get out of it for a little while. 

…

After hanging out with Reggie in the recording studio, Alex was walking down the corridor behind the great hall, for old time’s (a week ago) sake, pacing back and forth. He didn’t actually know what he would do if someone asked why the prince was pacing the hallway near the kitchens for no apparent reason, but what happened was simultaneously both better and worse, because who would he run into (thankfully not literally this time) but a familiar brown-eyed man with a crooked smile. 

“Hey there, your royal pancakeness!” He called, and oh, how Alex wished Willie didn’t have such an endearing smile.

“Hey, Willie!” He ignored the butterflies rising in his stomach. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good! Just got on break. You okay?” He asked, a flicker of concern in his eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex assured him. “Just walking.”

“Cool.” 

Alex tried not to stare, but Willie made it impossible. The way he flipped his long hair, the way his dark eyes sparkled with flecks of gold in the light, how his smile lit up every time he spoke. The adorable smudge of flour on his nose didn’t help, either. 

“You sure?” Willie asked, the faint flicker of concern right back to the furrow in his eyebrows. “You look a little dazed.”

Yeah, that’s because you’re gorgeous and I already have a crush on you despite only meeting you once. 

“Just a little tired, I guess.” The lie was a classic one, and Willie could surely see through the bullshit, but if he did, he didn’t prod. 

“Well, make sure you get some sleep tonight. In the meantime, I’m off to skate a little. You wanna come?”

Skating? There was a 100% chance that Alex would fall flat on his ass and humiliate himself. He’d never once been on a skateboard, at least, not since he’d sprained his wrist when he was seven, and his mother had banned all skateboards from the palace. And yet, the adorable look in Willie’s eyes still had Alex saying, “I’d love too.” He mentally kicked himself, but that annoyance was quickly replaced with another swarm of butterflies when Willie’s smile lit up even brighter than before. 

“Sick! Follow me.”

…

The skate park wasn’t technically a skate park by any means. It was an actual park, hidden away in the vast garden grounds of Dahlia, and it really said something about the size of the palace grounds that Alex didn’t even know it was there. 

Concrete sidewalks lined the perimeter, with swirling roundabouts at the corners, plus unoccupied metal benches and sliding railings that Willie didn’t hesitate to jump over. He even did a move where he jumped and the skateboard did a flip, before landing right back on it, steady as ever. But when Alex watched him let out a whoop and skate quickly around the roundabout as it sloped, not losing his balance once, he was sure Willie was just showing off. 

Alex did his best to cool his blushing face as Willie made his way back. 

“Want to try?” He asked.

“Oh, no,” he deflected. “I’ve never actually skateboarded before, and I’m pretty sure I’d just look stupid.”

“You’ve never skated before?”

“Not once.” He knew it was technically a lie, because he’d skated once when he was seven but that didn’t really count, but it still wasn’t true and what if Willie found out about the lie and hated him for being dishonest and what if he seemed like a bitch for lying about something so miniscule and-

“Well, there’s an easy way to fix that,” Willie said with a grin, making all of Alex’s previous anxieties melt away. They were, of course, quickly replaced with new ones because cute boy, but still. 

Before Alex knew it, Willie was extending his hand and stepping off the skateboard, that beautiful, crooked smile still plastered on his gorgeous face. And then, despite the voice in the back of his head, screaming to play it safe, he listened to the whisper, barely audible, telling him to go for it. So, before he could change his mind, he took Willie’s hand. It was rough and calloused, with a few scars peppered on his fingers, but it was perfect. Slowly, tentatively, he stepped onto the skateboard, and…

Immediately fell flat on his ass. Or, he would have, had Willie not been quicker and run behind him, catching him by the shoulders with a laugh. Alex’s cheeks did their best to catch fire, and he immediately apologized.

“No, bro, you’re good! Just glad I caught you,” Willie said. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Alex replied, only just noticing how long Willie’s eyelashes were. He wasn't sure if he imagined it when Willie’s cheeks looked darker the longer he stared. Alex cleared his throat. 

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Willie outstretched his hand again, and this time, Alex didn’t hesitate before taking it. He took a deep breath, grounding himself before stepping onto the skateboard, squeezing the other man’s hand and using him for support.

“I did it!” he exclaimed, very excitedly, considering all he’d done was step onto an immobile skateboard. But Willie shared his excitement. 

“Hell yeah, dude! Want me to push you so you move?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Understandable, have a nice day.” Alex and Willie stared at each other, deadpan, before bursting out laughing. But, because the universe hated him, Alex fell forwards, right on top of Willie, chests pressed together and noses barely apart.

He tried to move, but he was too caught up in how fucking close they were. Willie had caught himself, leaning backwards but standing, and somehow his arms had gotten wrapped around Alex’s waist, holding him tight. It was clearly just to make sure neither of them fell, but Alex couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut. 

Neither of them moved. Alex took a steadying breath, not looking away from Willie’s beautiful eyes. He cursed his stupid heart for fluttering, for suggesting treason because of a guy he’d just met, a guy with eyes so beautiful it should’ve been illegal, a guy with a perfect sense of humor, a guy who was so energetic and kind but also understanding, a guy who was now standing upright and steady, as was Alex, but who was still holding him close, arms wrapped around his waist. A guy who was surely just making sure he was still steady, but who looked at him with such intensity that it made him weak in the knees. 

Finally, he cleared his throat and stepped back. 

“Sorry, I kinda… Fell.” Willie gave that perfect laugh, and oh, if Alex wasn’t already smitten, he was now.

“Yeah, I caught that. No pun intended.” Alex let out an extremely undignified snort. 

“That,” he said through giggles, “was so bad.” When he looked up, Willie’s cheeks were red but he laughed too. 

Maybe treasonous feelings weren’t so bad. 

…

As he made his way up to his quarters, Alex flopped on his bed, a giddy grin still over his face. His cheeks hurt from smiling, but he just couldn’t stop. Willie was so… he didn’t even have the words. His laugh was like sunshine in the Summer, warm and bright and the source of all life in the world. His eyes were dark but somehow bright as well, and in the light they looked like bowls of honey as they twinkled. Everything about him was so ethereal, and Alex was completely gone on him. Which was, of course, extremely illegal, but he somehow couldn’t bring himself to care. 

As Luke walked in, the aroma of shampoo floating with him and giving away the fact that he’d just showered, he heard a laugh.

“How was your date?” Alex didn’t bother denying it.

“He tried to teach me how to skateboard,” he said, eyes dreamy as he remembered the fond look in Willie’s eyes as he’d fallen. “I almost fell but he-”

“No way. Did he catch you?”

“Twice.” Alex laughed when Luke squealed. 

“Well, dude, you know it’s your turn to ask him out, right?”

What?

Alex bolted upright. “What do you mean?”

“I know you weren’t the one to ask him out today. That means it’s your turn to find him and ask him out for another little outing.”

“Fuck.” How the hell was he supposed to do that? He couldn’t just keep wandering the halls behind the kitchens, people would get suspicious. But… maybe he could find Willie again at the park. He’d seemed to know it well.

But what if that made him look creepy? That was Willie’s area that he’d brought Alex to, Alex was merely a guest in Willie’s beautiful domain, even if it was part of the palace. He still felt like he would be intruding. 

“I’ll let you deal with that,” Luke said with a laugh.

“Yeah. In the meantime, though, how was self-defense?” Luke had a dopey grin as soon as he thought. 

“Amazing.”

Alex listened to his best friend ramble on and on about how incredible it was, or rather, she was. Apparently, Julie had been instructed to go early, so Luke wasn’t able to avoid her. But it didn’t matter, because Alex got to hear his lovestruck best friend rant about how badass she was and how incredible their fights were when they sparred. 

A knock rang on the door. Alex cleared his throat, standing up. Luke straightened his back. When he shot Alex a look, Alex nodded.

“Come in.” As the handle turned, a pit in Alex’s stomach formed as King Ray Molina stepped through. He scrambled into a bow, as did Luke.

“Your majesty, is everything alright?”

“It’s okay, mijos, there’s no need to bow.” Alex stood straight again. “You are needed in the royal office. Well, technically only Alex, but Luke should come too. And put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” With that, Ray left, leaving the two of them there.

A sinking pit in Alex’s stomach told him that something was very, very wrong. 

-----

Luke POV

...

Laying on the floor with Alex was a daily occurrence. It truly was the best spot to have a crisis.

“Emotions are the bane of my existence,” Alex declared. Luke had to agree. “Like,” he continued, “how is it logical that a couple little zaps to the brain can make your stomach drop, or make your palms sweat, or even a week after something happened, still make you feel cold and warm at the same time?”

“Bro, I don’t know,” he agreed. “Like, one minute you’re fine, and the next you’re about to accidentally commit treason.” Alex let out a dry laugh.

“Tell me about it.” A few moments passed, and Luke stared at the ceiling. There were small knots in the gently stained wood planks, with no particular rhyme or reason. “Also, called it.”

“Wh-” Luke started, clearing his throat. “What do you mean, ‘called it?’”

“You like Julie?” Alex assumed. Luke fumbled for an answer that wouldn’t be treasonous. “I might’ve overthought every possible aspect of this, and your comment about accidental treason confirmed what I already thought.” Luke dragged a hand down his face and groaned. How obvious was he? 

“I barely know her,” he started, “but I’m already so… I don’t even know the word. Intrigued? Infatuated? In-something.” In love, maybe. 

“I’m sorry,” he added after a moment.

“Why?”

“I can only imagine how much this must be on your anxiety, and this doesn’t help.” Luke mentally kicked himself for adding another worry onto his best friend’s anxiety.

“It doesn’t, but it’s not the first bit of accidental treason.” Luke took a moment to process that before bolting upright.

“No way,” he said. “Who?” He ignored Alex’s blush. “Wait, let me get this straight. Well, gay. You’ve liked a guy for an entire week, and you didn’t tell me? This is a betrayal of our friendship!” How dare he? That was cruel. Luke could’ve been teasing him for seven fucking days and Alex had the gall to hide it?

The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.

“You say that as if you didn’t do the exact same thing,” Alex countered. Luke considered that for a moment. 

“Whatever. Okay, details.”

…

After hearing the adorable details of Alex’s meet-cute with Willie, Luke had officially decided he would be officiating their wedding. He could already see it. Of course, he didn’t have much time to imagine his best friend’s future husband, because soon Alex and Reggie were giving him shit for his “crush” on Julie, and he hightailed it out of there, deciding to go to self-defense early. He could just sit on the bench and wait, be free of anybody who would make his thoughts race-

But of course he couldn’t, because right there was Julie, walking into the arena. 

"Hey Luke!" She called with a wave.

"Hey, Julie, what’s up?” He dearly hoped he wasn't blushing.

“Not much,” she replied. “Just came early because Lady Athena wanted me to show the trainees my upside-down move.” She tightened her ponytail. “Why are you here? The main session doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.” Luke blushed, his stomach flipping. What if she thought he was annoying?

“Oh,” he said with a shy laugh. “Alex and Reggie were giving me shit for… something,” he explained, hoping she didn’t catch his slip, “and I decided to escape.” Julie nodded.

“That’s valid.” 

“Julie?” called Lady Athena. “You ready?”

“That's my cue,” she said with a smirk, hopping away and over to stand next to the coach. Luke couldn’t keep his eyes off her. The way she moved was ethereal, like a butterfly given human form. 

She began explaining her move to the trainees, who were all looking very confused, which Luke understood. It looked super complicated, and you would need some serious core strength to pull it off. But somehow she did it in slow fucking motion. 

He found himself migrating towards Julie’s friends, who thankfully greeted him with a smile.

Whispering introductions between them, he met Flynn (the girl with the braids), Carrie (Flynn’s girlfriend), and Mira (Julie’s lady-in-waiting). And as if Luke didn’t already have a healthy amount of fear and respect for the princess, she happened to surround herself with other badasses. 

Flynn had an air of confidence around her. The way she squared her shoulders as she walked made her long, dark braids sway behind her back, and the bold style she always had just added to the effect. Carrie, Flynn’s girlfriend, was proof that some people were born to be royal. Everything Carrie did and wore, no matter how simple - like her current athletic clothes - screamed royalty, even though she wasn’t technically royal. And Mira was kind and confident, but there was an air about her that told Luke, this is a powerful woman. Not that he was surprised; He’d seen her fights against Julie. 

But he just couldn’t take his eyes off of Julie. She moved so cleanly, never stumbling no matter how difficult the position must’ve been, and even as she held herself sideways on one arm and spun, she landed with uncanny grace. 

“Okay, Julie, why don’t you get some water, and we’ll do the demonstrations with opponents?” Lady Athena’s long ponytail swished as she walked towards her, and Luke blushed when Julie smiled. 

“Sounds good.” She spun on her heel, jogging to the group and catching Luke’s eye. He could’ve sworn her cheeks darkened, but then again, that move made for an intense workout. 

“Dude, I don’t know how you managed to do that spin in slow motion,” Mira told her. Julie laughed, and Luke had never heard a sound so beautiful.

“Practice and good core strength.” She sat down on the bench, Mira by her side. So he was right; core strength was a necessity. 

“Hey, uh, Julie?” asked Luke shyly. She was drinking water, so she hummed a questioning tone. Luke cleared his throat. “Would it be okay if I joined them and tried to learn the move?” he asked, gesturing his head to the group of preparing trainees. Julie put down her water bottle, smirking, and Luke felt his own smile rising, though he was also nervous. He wasn’t sure why. 

“Technically, you’re not a trainee.” Oh. That was why. Luke opened his mouth to apologize, before Julie cut him off. “But, you could be one of the demonstrative opponents if you want to,” she offered. “I’m supposed to show how the move works against different fighting styles, and I think a Tamborian fighting style would add some variety.” Luke grinned and nodded, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. 

“Sounds good, boss.” That time he did see Julie blush, and couldn’t help but feel proud of himself. 

As Julie made her way over to the front of the mats, with Carrie by her side, he sat on the bench next to Mira, enchanted. Before they started their fight, though, Mira elbowed him in the ribs. When he glanced over, she didn’t say anything, but gave him a knowing smirk that made him flush. Was he really that obvious?

“What?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think,” she said. Luke stammered, trying to find an excuse. Mira laughed. 

“Don’t worry, dude. I’m not sure if they would exile me for saying this, but you guys would be cute together. Might be illegal, but then again, I’m always down for some treason.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but he knew he was joking. Evidently, Mira did as well, because she snorted and went back to watching Julie and Carrie. 

Luke eagerly did the same, watching as Julie made the first move. Carrie hopped out of the way, striking and giving Julie and opportunity to lean forwards. The princess hopped and landed on her right hand, spinning and tripping Carrie. Luke didn’t pay attention to what she said, but was entranced by how she moved. He vaguely remembered something about a dancer. 

“That’s my cue,” Mira told him as Julie finished the round against Carrie. “See you later, lover boy.” Before Luke could come up with a comeback for Julie’s kind but blunt friend, she winked and walked away. 

As Julie fought Mira, she mentioned something about a ninja, as well as the way the word “lithe” sounded on her tongue. He watched as she danced around the other girl, twisting and tripping her before winning the fight. 

Flynn strutted over to Julie, a confident smirk on her face. She was catlike when she fought, something both Luke and Julie noticed, and he was very proud of himself for thinking of it as she pointed it out. 

“However,” Julie said as she made the final spin, pinning Flynn and grabbing her collar, “it turns out, cats don’t always land on their feet.”

Whoa. 

Not only was she a complete and utter badass, but she was good at bantering with her friends. Luke wasn’t sure why he loved that so much, but a grin broke out on his face, blushing as he caught Julie’s gaze. 

"Next,” Julie said, snapping Luke back to the present, “I'm going to fight with Luke. He's from Tambor, so this will be new." She nodded, and he obeyed, practically floating over to her. 

As Julie stepped into fighting position, Luke winked, quite pleased with himself for flustering her, then struck. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to get the upper hand. Julie took advantage of his opportunistic nature, when he left himself vulnerable as he attacked, she struck back with twice the confidence.

Soon, though, he tripped. As he lost his balance, Julie spun upside down and tripped him. Luke’s back hit the ground and he let out a gentle “oof,” but couldn’t recover before Julie was on top of him. Luke was extremely aware of the way her leg pinned his hips down to the mat, the way her shoulders moved as she breathed evenly but quickly, the way her hand curled into a fist as she grabbed his collar and pulled her other arm backwards to finish. He tried to move his arms, but the way she’d positioned her torso made it impossible for him to defend his head from her possible blow. He was completely at the mercy of this girl, trusting her not to strike with finality, but not trusting his own unruly heart to steady as he found himself lost in her eyes.

But then, because the universe hated him, Julie winked. His breath caught in his throat and he flushed bright red.

For a moment, the world seemed to still. Luke was acutely aware of the shine of her dark skin, the single loose curl by her ear, the confident smirk on her face. But just as quickly as it had happened, it was over. Julie got up, extending her arm, which Luke took. Everywhere her hand touched left tingles on his forearm.

“Nice job!” she told him. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh, please, I just got my ass kicked and you didn’t even break a sweat.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I knew you were awesome, but I didn’t know you were a human wrecking ball.” Of course, when Julie blushed, he felt a surge of confidence and accomplishment.

“I- well, I don’t-”

“He’s right,” Carrie insisted. You were awesome.” Luke grinned and nodded, reaching over to high-five her. 

“Okay, trainees,” called Lady Athena. “Pair up and spar. If you want, spot the other and try the move. I’ll be hovering to make sure nobody gets hurt.” She clapped her hands with finality, and the trainees did as they were told. “The rest of you,” she added, directed at Luke and the Badasses, “practice while you can. Oh, Julie, I want you to practice with Luke today. See if you can work out some similarities and differences between Dahlian and Tamborian fighting styles.”

Oh.

Fuck.

How the hell was Luke going to survive sparring with Julie multiple times, purely for practice and not staged? He wouldn’t be able to go one minute without completely losing it every time she looked at him. 

Luke noticed Carrie, Mira, and Flynn all giving him a look that made him fidget. It turned out he was the opposite of subtle. And as Reggie walked towards them, a knowing smirk on his face as well, Luke knew he was dead. He quickly tried to compose himself.

“Alright, boss,” he said after a moment. “Ready to kick my ass?” Julie laughed, and Luke could’ve listened to that sound for the rest of his life.

“Let’s do it.”

Luke struck first, a playful grin on his face. Julie quickly deflected, twisting his arm and twirling behind him, causing Luke’s heart to flutter. It didn’t last long, though, because then she was shoving the backs of his knees and pinning him as he fell down, kneeling hunched over with her holding his wrists behind his back. 

“That’s one for me!” She laughed as he groaned. Way to humiliate yourself, Patterson.

“Damn, and to think I ever thought I was good at hand-to-hand.” Luke took her arm, letting her help him up. An idea formed in his head, a cruel one, but it would work. He had to quickly hide the grin on his face. “Wait, I want to try that spinny move thing.” As Julie stepped back. Luke smirked to himself, hopping forward and purposely falling during the spin. It wasn’t like he needed to try to fall, though; that move was impossible.

“Gah, my wrist!” He feigned injury, but his heart still fluttered as Julie rushed over to him. She cared. 

But, he couldn’t play nice. He grinned and quickly took her arm, pulling her down to the ground and flipping on top of her. Luke pinned her shoulders, shooting her a cocky grin, but ignoring the look on her face. It was so soft and surprised, but playful and… he daresay impressed. 

“And that’s one for me.” 

“That wouldn’t work in a real fight, you know,” she informed Luke as she rolled out from under him. She wasn’t humiliated, as far as he could tell, which was probably a good thing. Humiliating the heiress to the Dahlian throne wasn’t a great idea. But her cheeks were darkened with a blush, and she was certainly flustered. Luke patted himself on the back.

“Oh, I know,” he said calmly. “It’s just fun to annoy you.” He could’ve sworn she blushed even more, but she looked away too quickly for him to confirm.

“Alright, rematch,” she decided, her voice confident. Luke nodded, and Julie hopped into fighting position. Luke did the same, noting how adorable it was as she bounced on the balls of her feet, before striking. She moved quickly and unpredictably, but when Luke dodged a hit to his shoulder and she hopped forward, he knew what was coming. He leaned backwards and, as her legs swept underneath his ankles, he jumped and avoided the killer move. 

As he avoided her spin, he noticed Julie trying to recover as quickly as she could, but she stumbled, and Luke quickly took advantage of that. He grabbed her arm, spinning her around almost like a ballroom dance, and then holding her back against his chest, his arm pinning her shoulders. He felt his own heartbeat against her back, her rapid breathing making her shoulder blades prick his stomach. 

“I win,” he whispered, a grin on his face- one that was quickly replaced with a look of shock when Julie reached up and grabbed his wrist, leaning forwards and throwing him to the floor upside down. As his back hit the ground, he let out a soft “oof” and didn’t get the chance to move before Julie was on top of him, flattening her body over his to make sure he couldn’t move and pinning his shoulders with her forearm. He knew he’d lost the fight, but currently he was more interested in the quirked eyebrow on her face, the shine of sweat on her forehead, and how very close they were.

“Actually, I win.” 

… 

Luke stood in the shower, letting the cool water wash over him. He normally took warm showers, even after working out, but today he needed the familiar feeling of cold shivers down his spine. There was something about Julie that made him so warm, like he’d known her his whole life. Julie was like the feeling of a sip of warm cocoa on a winter day, like sunlight peeking over the mountaintops. She was intriguing, so complicated and layered, like a mystery that he desperately wanted to solve. Luke couldn’t piece together just why she had that effect on him, though he had a few ideas. 

Quickly drying himself off, he changed into a lightweight guard uniform. It was more of a casual suit than a uniform; the guardsmen dress codes in Dahlia weren’t nearly as strict as they were in Tambor. They were more focused on abilities rather than looking like guards. So long as you looked respectable, that was enough. 

The cool fabric of the white dress shirt felt good against his skin, and the heather grey vest was a light pressure, keeping him secure. The matching jacket was tailored to a slim fit, but, given that he was a guard, there were also sheaths built into the inside, with simple but deadly daggers within them. 

If he was being honest, Luke hated carrying weapons. He felt cool, sure, but he still hated it. No matter how well they were hidden - and well hidden they were; not even the outlines were visible from the outside - he always knew they were there. That, even though they should be safe, there was always a possibility. A possibility that he might end up using one of the cruel blades strapped to his chest.

…

When he walked into Alex’s room from his quarters across the hall, his best friend was sprawled out on his bed, a dopey grin spread across his face. Luke immediately knew he’d been with Willie. 

“How was your date?”

“He tried to teach me how to skateboard,” he said. Luke grinned to himself. That was the cutest thing ever. “I almost fell but he-” Luke gasped, knowing his best friend’s disaster-gay-levels well enough to know where this was going.

“No way. Did he catch you?”

“Twice.” Luke squealed, bringing his hands to his cheeks. Alex was getting a classic boyfriend meet-cute and pining stage. It was like something out of a romance novel.

“Well, dude, you know it’s your turn to ask him out, right?” Luke laughed, practically feeling Alex’s nervousness, which was confirmed when Alex bolted upright. 

“What do you mean?” Luke snorted. Dumbass.

“I know you weren’t the one to ask him out today. That means it’s your turn to find him and ask him out for another little outing.”

“Fuck.” Luke could see the thoughts running a million miles an hour in his friend’s head, and soon he would be spiraling into gay panic and anxiety.

“I’ll let you deal with that,” Luke said with a laugh.

“Yeah. In the meantime, though, how was self-defense?” Luke didn’t bother hiding the huge grin that spread across his face as he remembered his time with Julie.

“Amazing. I got there early since you and Reggie were being assholes-”

“Love you too.”

“-But it turned out she was there early as well. Well, her and her friends. She has this super badass move where she jumps and lands on one fucking hand and spins twice, tripping you backwards and then pinning you, and she was teaching it to the trainees. Holy fuck, Alex, I don’t know how she does it. And she did it in slow motion!” He raked a hand through his hair. “She was going to demonstrate the move in fights with Mira, Flynn, and Carrie, and I asked if I could join the trainees to learn the move, because of course I did, and then she said that I ‘technically wasn’t a trainee,’ but then offered to let me be one of the demonstrative opponents.”

“And I’m guessing that went well?”

“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “And then, when the trainees were practicing, Lady Athena paired us for the rest of the session, so I got to spar with her.”

“Oooooh!” Luke gave a light punch in mock offense, but he was still glowing. 

“Bro, she’s amazing.” 

“I can see that.” Luke ignored the shit-eating grin on Alex’s face.

A knock rang on the door, and Luke straightened, looking at Alex as he stood up.

“Come in.” When King Ray walked in, Luke hastily bowed.

“Your majesty, is everything alright?” Alex asked.

“It’s okay, mijos, there’s no need to bow. You are needed in the royal office. Well, technically only Alex, but Luke should come too.” Luke nodded as Ray looked at him. “And put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” With that, Ray left, leaving the two of them there.

Something was wrong.

-----

Reggie POV

...

Suit vest long abandoned, sleeves messily rolled up, Reggie fiddled with the stim toy in his pocket, humming to himself as he wandered the long expanse of the Dahlian palace gardens, letting the different scents envelop him. Sometimes this would’ve pushed him into sensory overload, with all of the overlapping smells from the flowers, the sound of chirping birds, bright sunlight, breeze and stim toy, but today it just felt right. He hummed a familiar melody to himself, trying to place it as he wandered, spinning around and occasionally dancing with his steps.

His lips moved to words before he knew it, and he was finally able to place the song: Wake Up. Julie had written it with Rose before she passed away. A sad smile quirked the corners of her mouth. It had been a few years since it happened, but a pang of grief still struck Reggie’s heart. He’d lived at the palace since he was nine, and Rose had become like a mother to him. For seven years she’d raised him like one of her own, a kind, gentle woman. She was the one who taught him to play the bass, too. 

Reggie missed her. But Julie looked just like her, and she was so strong, his chest still swelled with pride every time he looked at her. And her voice, her music, it was like Rose in every way, and yet so uniquely Julie. 

The lyrics to Wake Up were so inspirational that, even when humming to himself in the gardens, they still brought the familiar prickle of tears to his eyes.

Better wake those demons // Just look them in the eye // No reason not to try

Those lines in particular were the most powerful to him. They were the lines that helped him confront his grief after Rose had passed away, and the ones that made his heart grow and ache every time Julie sang them. 

Reggie sighed, letting the memory of Rose wash over him, both melancholy and bright. Every step was filled with happiness and longing, but he knew that if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t be the person he was today. He might’ve still lived in the palace with Julie, sure; it was Ray who had found him and taken him in. But Rose had guided his love for music with Julie. 

As he danced around the garden, a strong breeze whipped his hair. He noticed something flying towards him - a leaf, probably. But as he saw it flutter against the wind, he realized that it was a butterfly. 

Without thinking, he reached up, letting the butterfly stop against his palm. He shielded it from the wind with his other hand, letting it regain its balance. He giggled as it crawled across his finger, the faint tickling sensation like dandelion wisps on his nose in the Summer. Then, the butterfly took flight against the wind, this time able to push back and fly. 

…

Reggie, after finding his suit vest draped across a rosebush, wandered through the corridor to Alex’s room. He, Alex, and Luke had become close friends in the past week. Something about the three of them just clicked. 

He knocked on the door in a rhythmic pattern that matched with the song stuck in his head, sauntering in, the word treason filling his ears. A grin spread across his face; he knew exactly what the treason was.

“Did I hear something about treason?” he asked excitedly. “Because I am always down. Tell your friends; you need a treason buddy, I’m your guy. But of course, for legal reasons, that’s a joke.” He gave some finger guns when Alex snorted.

“Well,” Luke began, “the arranged marriage was already a major fuck-up on the council’s decision. We could add in some treason to the mix. Just for funsies.” Reggie nodded. He might’ve been seen as a goody-two-shoes to some people, but he wasn’t opposed to breaking some rules. 

“You just want to hang out with Julie, don’t you?” Alex asked. Luke flushed, and Reggie grinned. 

“Called it,” he said.

“Oh come on, you too?”

“Dude,” Reggie began. “I love you, but you’re not exactly subtle.” Luke pouted, and Alex cracked up. “You, on the other hand,” Reggie added, “I’m not sure who your treasonous crush is.” He knew Alex was gay, but there weren’t any guys he knew of that he would like. 

“A baker named Willie,” Luke interjected before Alex could reply. “And I still haven’t heard the story of how you met, I might add.” Alex groaned, and Reggie clapped. A baker. That was so cliche, but so adorable. He could already see the wedding.

“I assume there’s no way I’m getting out of this?”

“Not a chance,” Luke and Reggie replied in unison, and Reggie high-fived him without looking. Alex groaned.

“So, you remember the feast the night I got here? I was kinda overwhelmed so I stepped out the back door, and this guy just fuckin… Ran me over.” Reggie laughed. 

“He pancaked you!” 

“Exactly that. Anyway, that happened and I kinda froze because he was really cute. And eventually we were just… Chatting. And I can’t fucking get him out of my mind and now I’m royally fucked because this is treason.”

“Well, like I said, I’m always down for a little treason,” Reggie repeated. “And might I add, that is adorable!!!” 

“I know, right?” Luke asked, grinning at Reggie. He nodded enthusiastically. 

“It’s an adorable, treasonous meet-cute!!! I swear, this is like something out of a romance novel.”

“That’s what I thought!!!”

“You two are the worst,” Alex informed them.

“You love us,” Reggie said with a grin.

“Unfortunately.”

“Now, Luke. What’s this I hear about some more treasonous feelings for a certain Princess Julie Molina?” Reggie poked his friend in the ribs, laughing when his blush went all the way to his ears. 

“Uh, well, it’s not really feelings, plus, I doubt Reggie wants to hear about hypothetical feelings someone might have for his sister.”

“Wrong,” Reggie said. “I want to know everything.” There was no way he was getting away with crushing on his sister without Reggie doing some well-meaning meddling. He didn’t mind that Luke liked Julie, of course. He was a nice guy, and Julie clearly liked him as well. But, Luke was also one of his best friends, and therefore required to spill.

“See, I would explain, but the self-defense class starts in a minute-”

“Thirty,” Reggie corrected.

“Like I said, it starts in a minute, so I’d better run.” Without another word, he bolted out the door.

“You can’t keep running from your feelings forever,” Alex called to Luke.

“No, but I can run from you two goons!” Reggie cracked up, along with Alex. 

“Simp,” Reggie declared.

“Definitely.”

“Hey, you mentioned you play drums, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex said with a smile. “And you play… bass?”

“Yep! There’s a recording studio in the basement, you want to go play?”

“I’d love to! Luke keeps getting on my case because I tap on the desk when I’m working through sim files.” Reggie nodded. It was understandable for him as well; even though he wasn’t a drummer, he had ADHD, and sim files were such a pain. They were cool, sure; they were files in which you developed a country similar to Dahlia, and there were social issues, economic questions, political queries, all of which would affect how your practice country developed, even with the details of foreign relations. Reggie wasn’t bad at them, per se, but it was probably a good thing that he wasn’t becoming king. He always got distracted, and while he was quite good at it, especially diplomacy, it just wasn’t what he wanted to do. And it wasn’t a matter of ADHD, either. Julie had ADD. She was just better at it, maybe because she’d been raised for it since birth, and Reggie had lived here for a considerably short time compared to her. 

His most recent sim file was on economic development, concerning poverty, disproportionate wealth, and tax rates. Dahlian wealth was relatively evenly distributed; much better than some countries. But he just didn’t like the way the sim files were set up. 

…

“Dude, this is sick!” Alex’s enthusiasm was practically tangible, and Reggie smiled.

“I know, right? Just be careful not to touch the handshake prank things on the shelf,” he added, pointing to a small stash. “They’re Carlos’s. One time he added some static electricity and zapped me, and it felt just like the time I was fixing my amp in the rain.”

“You shouldn’t… Okay.” 

“Anyway, how do you like the drums?” Alex played a rhythm on the bass, snare, and hi-hat, grinning. 

“They’re awesome,” he decided. “In a lot better shape than my set back in Tambor. I’ve had them since I was seven, and they’re pretty beat-up.”

“Oof,” Reggie said. “These are a bit old, but none of us are any good at playing, so they’re just like new!” 

Reggie hopped across the room to grab his bass, strapping it around his shoulders and playing a riff. It started with a slide down the A string, and when he began adding more notes, Alex joined in with a rhythm. Reggie gasped.

“Alex, that sounds perfect!” When Alex gave him a confused look, Reggie realized he hadn’t given context. “Julie and I have been writing a song called Icarus, and trying to learn the drums to add in a beat, but that riff I was playing was the baseline for it, right? That beat you were just playing sounded perfect. Dude, we gotta get Jules in here later. She’s gonna be pumped.” Alex grinned.

“That sounds awesome, dude! What’s the song like?”

“It’s pretty upbeat,” Reggie started. “It’s got a sort of inspirational vibe to it. The guitar we’re trying to add has kind of a rock and roll sound, but not metal. I’m trying to figure out how to play it, but I always strum wrong since I’m so used to bass.” He laughed, remembering how he’d tried to strum with the outside of his index finger. 

“No way,” Alex said. Reggie gave him a confused look. “Luke plays guitar. He’s insane at it, too. What if the four of us played it? You on the bass, me on drums, Luke on guitar, and Julie on piano and vocals?”

“And you, Luke and I could be backup vocals! Alex, you’re a genius. We’ll be Julie’s Beyonce girls.”

“Yeah, okay.” Reggie grinned. This would be perfect. He just needed to get Julie and Julie’s Future Treasonous Boyfriend (Luke) to join them in the studio later. 

…

Self-defense was interesting to say the least. Reggie had the honor of watching his little sister teach a bunch of nervous trainees a move that, if he was being honest, was impossible to do for anybody but Julie. He only caught the last demonstrative round, though, which proved to be just as entertaining as watching her whole teaching session would be. 

Why? Well, because she was sparring with Luke. The tension was tangible as they ducked and dodged and struck, and as Julie ended up on top of him, his collar in her fist, a confident smirk on her face, Reggie grinned to himself at how oblivious they both were. They oozed chemistry. 

He approached as Lady Athena instructed the trainees to pair up and practice, and luckily caught the flustered and excited look on both Luke’s and Julie’s faces when Lady Athena paired them for sparring. He shot a knowing look at them as he paired with Mira to spar. 

They made idle conversation as they practiced, occasionally interrupted by a quick “duck” as the other sent a strike their way. 

“Did you know your sister was this oblivious?” Mira asked him. Reggie laughed. 

“Nope, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. She has a habit of ignoring things she doesn’t like, which probably includes treasonous emotions.” Mira laughed, and Reggie took advantage of it, flipping her over and pinning her, winning the match, laughing as she rolled her eyes but took his hand, pulling her up. 

“Believe me, I know,” Mira said. “She once got a sim file from a nearby sim country in her foreign relations packet that was questioning the ethics of her country on LGBTQ matters, and she just ignored it because it annoyed her.” Reggie snorted. That did sound like Julie. 

Twisting around Mira’s next attack, but quickly regretting it as she hooked her ankle around his knee, knocking him over and winning, Reggie wondered if he could somehow set them up.

“Hey, Mira?”

“Mhm?”

“You know how one of your jobs as Julie’s lady-in-waiting is to help arrange her outfits?” Mira nodded, a smirk growing on her face. 

“Say no more.” Reggie grinned. Reggie was his name, and meddling was his game. 

…

Reggie was working on a new riff for the bridge of Icarus when someone knocked on his door.

“Come in,” he called, still bent over his notebook, scrawling down notes as he hummed. 

“Hey, mijo?” Reggie whirled around to see Ray. He smiled. 

“Hi Ray! Everything okay?”

“Not exactly, but I’ll explain that later. We need you in the royal office. I’ve already been to see Julie, Luke, and Alex, they’re coming as well. Just… It might be a long night, so put on something respectable but comfortable.”

“Okay,” Reggie agreed, concerned. “Did something happen?” Ray bit his lip nervously and nodded, walking away without another word. 

----- 

Willie POV

...

“Hey, Alyssa, how’s that dough looking?” Willie asked from across the kitchen, where he was gathering ingredients for the Hawaiian style shredded chicken. 

“Almost done rising,” she called back. “Probably needs about five more minutes.”

“Awesome, thanks!”

“Yep!”

Willie gathered the ingredients in his arms, doing his best not to poke his eye out with the leaves of the pineapple. As he reached his counter, he set down the huge fruit, spreading out the other ingredients, many of them spices. He grabbed a knife from the block behind him, chopping the leaves off of the pineapple, then spinning it as he scalped the rough, pointy skin off as well. He chopped the rest into small pieces and brought them to Alyssa, who was in front of a large slow cooker with chicken inside. He set the bowl down on the counter, nodding from her thanks and running back to the dough, separating and rolling it to create rolls, sticking them in the oven. 

“Willie, why don’t you go on break,” Lilian suggested. Willie jumped; Lilian walked silently, and she’d appeared right behind him. 

“You’ve been working really hard today,” she added. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good! Thanks.” It was the truth, he was fine. But he was working extra hard today because, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep Alex off his mind. He always worked best when he had something else to think about; the actions practically did themselves. He hadn’t even realized how much he was doing.

“I think I’ll take you up on that break,” he decided. “Be back in an hour or so?” Lilian nodded, patting his shoulder. 

“Relax, child.”

“Who are you calling ‘child?’” he asked. “You’re only twenty-five.” 

“And you’re nineteen. You’re a child.” Willie rolled his eyes but laughed. 

“See you later!”

… 

As he ran out the door, leaving his apron swinging on a hook, who would he see but Alex? A grin broke out on his face and, despite his better judgement, he called out to him (after he’d settled his blush, of course).

“Hey there, your royal pancakeness!” He called, butterflies rising in his stomach as Alex looked his way.

“Hey, Willie! How’s it going?”

“Pretty good! Just got on break. You okay?” He asked, noticing the nervousness in Alex’s (beautiful) eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex assured him. “Just walking.”

“Cool.” He fixed his hair, flipping it away from his shoulders. “You sure? You look a little dazed.”

I am too, but that’s just because you’re adorable.

“Just a little tired, I guess.” The lie was a classic one, and Willie saw right through it. He could tell that Alex didn’t want to talk about it, though so he left it alone. He always hated having people up in his business.

“Well, make sure you get some sleep tonight,” he told him. “In the meantime, I’m off to skate a little. You wanna come?” 

Willie wasn’t sure if Alex would say yes, no, or just walk away laughing. Skateboarding wasn’t something you would expect a prince to do. 

But then, Alex replied, “I’d love to,” and Willie’s grin stretched even wider, dearly hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

“Sick! Follow me.”

He led Alex down the back of the corridor, thankful that Alex was behind him, because that meant he could let his gay panic show on his face without letting the person causing it know. His long hair blocked his jaw from view, as well, so he was confident that Alex was oblivious to the fact that Willie was currently aggressively mouthing cute boy cute boy cute boy. 

Willie took Alex’s hand, grinning when Alex smiled. He brought him out the back door, into the streaming sunlight and to the park in the gardens. Hardly anybody knew of its existence, which was just how Willie liked it. He’d been given permission to skate there, and never once had he seen another person there. Bringing Alex there felt strange, but right. This had become Willie’s area, where he would go to get away from people when he needed to, and now he was letting Alex in. He wasn’t quite sure what compelled him to do it, but he was glad he did. 

Willie shot him a glance, getting on the skateboard and flying down the sidewalks, jumping over metal rails and benches. He did a quick kickflip after he landed, skating back around the roundabout, his grin wide as ever as he made his way back to Alex.

“Want to try?”

“Oh, no,” Alex replied, “I’ve never actually skateboarded before, and I’m pretty sure I’d just look stupid.”

“You’ve never skated before?” Willie’s eyebrows knit together. He wasn’t necessarily surprised, given that Alex was a prince, but still, every boy he’d ever met had skateboarded. 

“Not once.” 

“Well, there’s an easy way to fix that,” Willie said with a grin, extending his hand as he stepped off the skateboard. His heart fluttered as Alex reluctantly took it, his hand cold but soft as he held on, stepping on. 

But before he could say anything, Alex was stepping onto it lopsidedly, and Willie instinctively ran around behind him, his hands bracing Alex’s shoulders as he fell. Willie had rather large hands, and as his thumbs stretched to his back, he felt Alex’s racing heartbeat. He knew it was because he’d almost fallen off of a skateboard, but he couldn’t help but grin.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” Alex said. “I-

“No, bro, you’re good! Just glad I caught you,” Willie said. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Alex replied, and Willie tried (and failed) to calm his blush. He noticed a few freckles across Alex’s nose, barely there, like stars in the sky just after sunset. 

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Willie outstretched his hand again, and grinned when Alex took it, stepping on steadily, squeezing his hand. 

He liked this, holding hands with Alex. He could imagine doing this every day, casual affection, maybe playing with his hair- 

No. He shoved those thoughts out of his head. Alex was in an arranged marriage. To get in the way of that would be treason. Plus, Willie didn’t even know if Alex liked guys. 

“I did it!” Alex exclaimed, a grin on his face as he stood on the skateboard. Willie broke out into a huge smile, his chest swelling with pride. Alex was a nerd, but he was his nerd. 

“Hell yeah, dude! Want me to push you so you move?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Understandable, have a nice day.” Willie and Alex both cracked up, tears in his eyes. But he heard wobbling, and soon he was catching Alex right in front of him as he fell. Willie leaned back, stopping himself from falling on his back, but the main thing on his mind was how close he and Alex were. Their chests were pressed together, and Willie could barely tell whose racing heartbeat was his. He was close enough to count Alex’s long eyelashes, close enough to...

It was a nice thought, but it would never happen. 

Willie’s arms were wrapped around Alex’s waist, holding him steady as he stood up straighter, but not letting go. He held his gaze, steadying his breath, lost in Alex’s eyes. They were a mixture of blue, green, and grey, light but mysterious and beautiful, like frost on a garden, twinkling in moonlight. Without meaning to, his eyes flicked to Alex’s lips for a split second, and Willie could’ve sworn Alex’s did the same. 

Finally, Alex cleared his throat and stepped back. Willie wasn’t surprised, but he was disappointed. He liked holding Alex like that.

“Sorry, I kinda… Fell.” Willie cracked up at the bluntness.

“Yeah, I caught that. No pun intended.” He hated himself for the pun, but all of the hate was replaced with love when Alex let out a snort.

“That,” he said through giggles, “was so bad.” Willie blushed but laughed too, caught up in the mirth in Alex's eyes. He looked so young, laughing like this, free and happy. And when he’d finally composed himself, his cheeks were rosy from laughter, small lines around his eyes. 

It was official: Willie was smitten. 

-----

Julie POV

...

Julie groaned. 

It had been an entire week, and all of her interactions with Luke were minimal and cordial, but there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t shake. Every time he bowed, his eyes would flick up to meet hers, every time he smiled, they would crinkle and smile with his lips. Julie couldn’t get rid of these stupid feelings, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she told herself that she was literally about to commit treason every time she was tempted to act. 

“That’s the fourth time you’ve groaned in the past ten minutes,” Flynn pointed out. “Care to tell us what’s going on?”

“Jules, we know something’s wrong. You can try to hide it all you want, but that won’t change it.” Carrie examined her perfect nails, which were painted gold and shimmered in the light. 

“I don’t know,” she lied. Flynn and Carrie shared a look. 

“Alright, what’s his name?” Julie bolted upright from her spot on her bed, flushed.

“What do you mean?” Her two friends shared another look and laughed. 

“You’re a horrible liar,” Carrie told her, “you know that?” Julie groaned a fifth time.

“So I’ll ask again,” Flynn decided. “What’s his name?” When Julie stayed silent, she added, “dude. You know that if anyone’s down for a little treason, it’s us.” She wasn’t wrong, and Julie knew that. Flynn was ride-or-die, Carrie too. Neither of them would hesitate before committing war crimes if it meant helping Julie, and she didn’t take that for granted. She was still emotional about it, though.

“You know Alex’s guard, Luke?”

“The one who was showering you in compliments at self-defense last week?” Flynn asked, a shit-eating grin on her face. 

“He complimented me once, Flynn.” 

“Tell yourself whatever you need to.”

“I think I will.”

Carrie snorted. “Jules, you clearly like him. Make a move!”

“Carrie,” Julie said calmly. “I say this with love. Are you out of your mind?” 

“I mean, probably.” Flynn cracked up and Carrie’s perfect face had a smug little smile that pissed Julie off. She flopped back down. 

“This whole thing sucks.”

“You’re not wrong,” Flynn agreed, though she still had a grin on her face. “You know what would help?”

“Treason?” Carrie suggested. 

“Nope! Well, yes, but I was going to say getting ready for self-defense. Lady Athena wanted us to go early today, remember?” 

Unfortunately, Julie did remember, and she was dreading it. Lady Athena had asked if she could practice her upside-down move some more, and then show it to the training guards, plus a demonstrative spar with each of the other three girls to show how to use it against different fighting styles. 

Before she could respond, Mira walked in, piles of fabric in her arms. 

“Who’s ready to go?” She asked enthusiastically. “I just had these tailored,” she said, putting down the fabric, which turned out to be matching athletic clothes. Soft, high-waisted capris leggings, with matching tops that were slim-fitting and cropped at the ribs. The halter neckline was gentle and hemmed, nothing fancy or tied. 

“They should be nice and cool so you don’t get too sweaty,” Mira explained, “and they’re form-fitting to make movement easier.” She handed a set to Julie, violet in color. Carrie’s was hot pink, and Flynn’s was jade green. Mira wore a sky blue set. 

“Mira, have I mentioned that you’re the best lady-in-waiting ever?” Julie asked, a huge grin spreading on her face. 

“Not in the last five minutes.” 

…

As she walked into the training arena, flanked by Flynn, Mira, and Carrie, Julie pulled her hair into a ponytail, giving Lady Athena a grin. 

“Alright, ready to show these guys how it’s done?” she asked confidently, her bronze skin shimmering in the light. Julie nodded. Lady Athena patted Julie’s shoulder and turned back to the group of about twenty young people, ranging from about thirteen to twenty, of all genders. She scanned the eyes, recognizing some of them from her previous self-defense classes, before she stopped on a pair of hazel ones. 

Luke wasn’t with the group of trainees, rather standing on the sidelines. Without thinking, Julie approached him. 

“Hey Luke!” His cheeks flushed. 

“Hey, Julie, what’s up?”

“Not much,” she replied. “Just came early because Lady Athena wanted me to show the trainees my upside-down move.” She fidgeted, tightening her ponytail. “Why are you here? The main session doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.”

“Oh,” he said with a shy laugh. “Alex and Reggie were giving me shit for… something, and I decided to escape.” Julie caught his slip, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s valid.” 

“Julie?” Called Lady Athena. “You ready?”

“That’s my cue,” she said, hopping away and over to stand next to the coach. Her eyes travelled to Flynn, Carrie, and Mira, who were standing behind the eager trainees, all giving her The Look and glancing at Luke. Julie gave them a quick death stare, before going back to smiling at the trainees. 

“Okay, everyone,” Lady Athena called, quieting the chatter amongst the group. “Princess Julie is here to show us a new move she came up with. We haven’t come up for it yet, have we?”

“No, not yet,” Julie responded. “But I’m working on it. Oh, and you can all call me Julie.” 

“Right. So, Julie here is going to demonstrate the move, first on her own, then with a few other people she’s brought, to show how it works against different fighting styles. Julie?”

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands nervously. “So, the first thing is knowing when to do it. You generally do it when your opponent has you in a position where you have to lean forward.” She demonstrated, bending a bit forward. “Then, you jump, land on your hand - and it’s important that it’s the hand that matches the direction you’re facing. If you lean forward to the right, your opponent’s left, you jump on your right hand, and vice versa. Then, you spin by using momentum in your hips. This is mostly to distract them. Then, after the initial spin, you spin again, but rather than upright, you bend your elbow, lean like this-” she went through the previous moves then leaned to the side, putting down her leg to hold herself in the same position- “and spin, swinging your legs behind your opponent’s ankles to trip them backwards.” She demonstrated that bit as well, as slow as she could while still doing it correctly. “Then once they’re down, you use your spinning momentum to get on top of them and finish the fight.”

As she stood back up, she noted the confused or scared looks on the trainees’ faces, as well as an approving smile from Lady Athena and silent applause from Flynn, Mira, and Carrie- and Luke. At some point during her demonstration, he’d made his way over to her friends, and they were quietly chatting as she moved. 

“That looks really hard,” one of the trainees piped up, “but super badass.” If there was a way to verbally keysmash, Julie did it.

“Thanks so much!!! Though I should tell you, the first time I did it was completely by accident, and I sprained my wrist doing the initial spin. Afterwards, the only reason I tried it again was because Flynn bet me I couldn’t.” She shot a glance at her best friend, and her smirk and nod make her laugh. “But eventually,” she continued, “Lady Athena saw me trying to do it and gave me some tips, and one thing led to another, and here we are.” 

After a few moments of stunned silence, Lady Athena spoke. 

“Okay, Julie, why don’t you get some water, and we’ll do the demonstrations with opponents?”

“Sounds good.” She spun on her heel, jogging over to her friends, ignoring the butterflies as she caught Luke’s eye. 

“Dude, I don’t know how you managed to do that spin in slow motion,” Mira told her. Julie laughed.

“Practice and good core strength.” She sat down on the bench, Mira by her side. 

“Hey, uh, Julie?” asked Luke. She was guzzling water, so she hummed a questioning tone. “Would it be okay if I joined them and tried to learn the move?” he asked, gesturing his head to the group of preparing trainees. Julie put down her water bottle, smirking, a sudden bubble of confidence welling up inside her.

“Technically, you’re not a trainee. But, you could be one of the demonstrative opponents if you want to,” she offered. “I’m supposed to show how the move works against different fighting styles, and I think a Tamborian fighting style would add some variety,” she reasoned, ignoring Carrie’s eyebrow wiggle from behind Luke. 

His cheeks flushed, but he nodded with a grin.

“Sounds good, boss.” Julie flushed at the nickname. 

…

As she sparred with Carrie, she spoke between her moves.

"See, Carrie fights like a dancer. She's graceful and quick-" she dodged a blow from the girl, taking the opportunity to jump on her hand and twist, spinning and quickly tripping Carrie- "but not quick enough. No opponent is going to expect you to pull a breakdancing move on them." As she got on top of Carrie, pressing her elbow across her shoulders and pinning her down, a grin spread across her face. 

Julie got up and extended her hand to Carrie, who took her forearm and Julie took hers, pulling her up. 

Mira was up next. She jumped into a fighting position, her flaming red hair swinging behind her. Julie smirked, making the first blow.

"Mira, on the other hand, fights like a ninja. She's lithe and graceful, but deadly." Julie leaned forward, spinning on her hand and tripping Mira, quickly pouncing over her to win, before helping her up again. Next, Flynn.

Flynn made the first move, striking near Julie's shoulder, she bolted out of the way, turning to strike back. 

"Flynn is catlike when she fights," Julie explained, dodging another blow. "She's light on her feet and quick, with amazing reflexes. However-" she jumped and spun on her hand, tripping Flynn and ending the fight- "it turns out, cats don't always land on their feet." She shot Flynn a wink. 

She glanced at Luke, whose cheeks were bright red, but he had a confident smile on his face. Julie grinned.

"Next I'm going to fight with Luke. He's from Tambor, so this will be new." She gestured with a quick nod for him to come over.

As Julie stepped into fighting position, Luke winked. Julie ignored the butterflies in her stomach, overwhelmed with confidence as Luke struck. She dodged and blocked, striking back any chance she had. 

Luke was surprisingly competent, but very opportunistic, which Julie took advantage of. As he lost his balance, she spun upside down and tripped him, quickly using her momentum to get on top of him, pinning his hips with her leg. She grabbed his collar and pulled her fist back in a final move, but froze. It was just training, after all. 

Now it was Julie's turn to wink, which seemed to fluster Luke even more. 

They stayed like that for a few seconds before Julie got up, outstretching her hand to Luke. He took her forearm and she took his, pulling him up. 

“Nice job!” she told him. 

“Oh, please, I just got my ass kicked and you didn’t even break a sweat.” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “I knew you were awesome, but I didn’t know you were a human wrecking ball.” Julie flushed, stammering. 

“I- well, I don’t-”

“He’s right,” Carrie insisted. You were awesome.” And God, Julie wished Luke hadn’t grinned at Carrie’s agreement, because he had the cutest eyes ever. Honestly, it should’ve been illegal. Her first order of business when she was crowned queen would be to make it illegal to fluster her. 

“Okay, trainees,” called Lady Athena. “Pair up and spar. If you want, spot the other and try the move. I’ll be hovering to make sure nobody gets hurt.” She clapped her hands with finality, and the trainees did as they were told. “The rest of you,” she added, directed at Julie and her group, “practice while you can. Oh, Julie, I want you to practice with Luke today. See if you can work out some similarities and differences between Dahlian and Tamborian fighting styles.”

Julie nodded, ignoring the way her heart pounded, ignoring how Luke started fidgeting, and especially ignoring the incredibly annoying looks from Mira, Flynn, Carrie, and Reggie, who had just popped in to join. 

Digest those butterflies, Molina. D i g e s t  t h e m. 

“Alright, boss,” Luke said after a moment. “Ready to kick my ass?” Julie laughed. 

“Let’s do it.”

Luke struck first, a playful grin on his face. Julie quickly deflected, twisting his arm and twirling behind him, gently (since it was training, and he was cute) shoving the backs of his knees and pinning him as he fell down, kneeling hunched over with Julie holding his wrists behind his back. 

“That’s one for me!” She laughed as he groaned. 

“Damn, and to think I ever thought I was good at hand-to-hand,” he said with a grin. Julie blushed and helped him up. “Wait, I want to try that spinny move thing.” Julie stepped back, letting Luke jump onto his hand, but as soon as he spun, he fell.

“Gah, my wrist!” Julie rushed over to where Luke was now sitting, reaching out to help him-

Then, that little shit grinned and grabbed her arm, pulling her down and spinning on top of her, pinning her shoulders.

He shot her a cocky grin. “And that’s one for me.” Julie rolled her eyes, hating the way her heart was fluttering. 

“That wouldn’t work in a real fight, you know.” She rolled out from under him, fixing her hair. 

“Oh, I know,” he said in a relaxed manner. “It’s just fun to annoy you.” Julie’s stupid heart fluttered again, and she looked away, sure her face was on fire.

“Alright, rematch.” Luke nodded, and Julie hopped into fighting position. Luke did the same, and Julie didn’t hesitate to strike. She moved quickly, remembering her forms and the movements that Lady Athena had drilled into her since she could walk. She spun, aiming for Luke’s shoulder. When he leaned to the side to dodge, she jumped onto her hand, twirling and tripping him- 

Or, she tried to. 

Luke had completely jumped over her legs, anticipating the move. She really shouldn’t have been surprised, but it caught her off guard. She tried to recompose herself, but Luke was quicker than he looked, and had grabbed her arm, spinning her with her back against his chest and his forearm across her shoulders, pressing tight enough to prove that he’d won, but not as hard as he would’ve if it were a real fight. If it had been real, his arm would’ve been over her throat, anyways. Julie could feel his heartbeat between her shoulder blades, and it sent a shiver down her spine. 

“I win,” he said softly, but Julie could hear the shit-eating grin behind the words. She smirked to herself. No way was she going down that easy. 

Before Luke could move, she reached with her arm and grabbed his wrist from its place near her collarbone, bending forwards and throwing him over her shoulder. As his back hit the ground, she spun, pressing her forearm against his shoulders and flattening herself over him so he couldn’t move. 

“Actually, I win.” 

…

“Okay,” Flynn said after everyone had changed and gathered back in Julie’s room. “If you can’t tell by now that Luke is in love with you, I don’t know what else to do.”

“Flynn. He’s not in love with me, nor am I in love with him.” Flynn, Carrie, and Mira all shared a look and laughed. But before Julie could respond, a knock echoed on her door.

“Come in.” Julie smiled as her dad walked into her room. “Hey dad! Everything okay?” she asked when she noticed the crease between his eyebrows.

“Not exactly.” 

“Uh oh,” she replied, standing up. 

“We need you in the royal office.” Julie’s stomach dropped. “Your friends can come if they would like,” he added, shooting a kind but worried glance at Flynn, Mira, and Carrie, “but this is a tense situation, and they would be required to keep it all classified.”

“We can do that,” Carrie said, a single crease between her brows. Mira and Flynn nodded. Julie couldn’t shake the nervousness in her stomach.

“Did I do something?”

“No, no, don’t worry, mija. Está bien, it’s nothing that you did. But it’s not good. Just… put on something respectable but comfortable. It might be a long night.” He turned to walk out the door, but Julie grabbed his sleeve. 

“Papá, ¿qué pasó?” Ray sighed. 

“Do you remember Caleb Covington? He’s the king of Krypto.”

“Yeah, but it’s been awhile.” Ray sighed again, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.

“The kingdom of Krypto has declared war on Dahlia.”

[pistachiofiasco]

This took me too long to edit...

Following on from completing inktober2019, here is the completed collection of my 2020 project "30 markers, 30 fanarts". The idea was to merge Inktober and Huevemeber practices into an end of year project with the added stipulation of every drawing being a fanart of a different character I love.

I wanted to try focussing on colour theory and composition for this project – markers seemed like the best traditional tool to really force me to. I don’t actually own a lot of markers, and what I do have isn’t necessarily artist grade. In and of itself, that was actually a reason I paid more attention to how I was using colour and how to vary it.

With some drawings, I kept it simple and just paid attention to how to layer the markers to get different effects. A few of these types were redraws of screenshots or official art and I feel like I really learned the most about actually using markers from those.

With others, I tried more interesting compositions to explore how to use colour in more dynamic or unusual ways. It was mostly on these that using markers gave me a lot of grief – I would often have an idea of what I wanted the outcome to be, but no idea on how to use markers to get there. There was a lot of experimenting. Some of it worked and some of it didn’t…

Also, for funsies, every drawing has some gold or silver on it somewhere. It wasn't planned but by the end, almost all of them had some anyway, so I went back and added it to what didn't. Even if that was one tiny dot in someone's eye somewhere.

At the end of this project, I have confirmed my previous conclusion that I just don’t like using markers that much (lol). I’ve definitely learned more about using them, how to layer them and how to use what I have to achieve different things. But I doubt they’ll ever be one of my go-to mediums.

Somehow, one of the hardest parts of this whole project was just coming up with 30 characters that I liked that fit into the colour schemes. In all honesty, there was some shifting and some finagling and some manoeuvring right up to the end of the project. But I’m happy with the set I chose; I think it’ll be interesting to look back at this selection in a few years and see who will have been replaced and what new characters will make it.

Overall, per usual, I went into this project boldly and bravely, regretted it halfway through, and now appreciate what I learned and accomplished at the end.

I’ll be posting my favourites individually/in pairs after I’ve cleaned them up some.

(list of characters under the cut)

1. Kat (Gravity Rush) 2. Jude (The Folk of the Air) 3. Phos (Houseki no Kuni) 4. Reigen (Mob Psycho 100) 5. Sekiro (Sekiro) 6. Itachi (Naruto) 7. Yona (Akatsuki no Yona) 8. Mafuyu (Oresama Teacher) 9. Sakura (Naruto) 10. Mob (Mob Psycho 100) 11. Shizuo (Durarara!!) 12. Tali (Mass Effect) 13. Lelouch (Code Geass) 14. Eijun (Diamond no Ace) 15. Akane (Psycho Pass) 16. Legion (Mass Effect) 17. Oikawa (Haikyuu!!) 18. Silverash (Arknights) 19. Grimmjow (Bleach) 20. Hoshiguma (Arknights) 21. Sena (Eyeshield 21) 22. Cardan (The Folk of the Air) 23. Natsume (Natsume Yuujinchou) 24. Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) 25. Muriel (The Arcana) 26. Grunt (Mass Effect) 27. Raichi (Diamond no Ace) 28. Lara (Tomb Raider) 29. Eren (Shingeki no Kyojin) 30. Zhongli (Genshin Impact)

[arsnovacadenza]

hello I'd like to ask something do you ship arthur with theo

Hm, good question, anon! For me, it’s yes and no.

Yes, because I do see the chemistry. Theo’s lines whenever he berates Arthur are all PURE GOLD and I live for them and I also appreciate the times when Theo shows his tender side to Arthur. I love how supportive they can get with each other and that gives me a good reason to ship them. So for fluff and funsies, yeah. I admit they make a good ship.

But from the perspective of a writer who has to construct both their relationship and possible scenarios that will arise around their characters, well...not really.  Here’s the reason why (long rant ahead).

Please keep in mind that I’m not trying to bash Arthur as a character. I’m just pointing out the difficulties I’m going to face if I have to write about their relationship.

I kindaaa find it hard to picture Arthur as Theo’s intimate, long-term partner. Look, I see Theo as a strong man who gets most of his shit together, especially compared to the rest of his mansion. But, I do think he’s still got some emotional baggage especially when it comes to his brother (I’ve honestly never read Vincent’s route so CMIIW about this). And this is leaving out other personal issues that we will come across in his own route.

And from what I’ve read about Arthur without spoiling myself too much, I think Arthur seems to have a lot of personal troubles and trauma that he still can’t cope with in a healthy way. I personally don’t mind playboy types in Otome (I mostly ignore them anyway), but I gathered that Arthot acts the way he does as a coping mechanism. I don’t know if it’s going to work well in his relationship with MC (people have told me his character development is very good), buttt I have reservations in making the relationship work with Theo.

I don’t write relationships that are 100% all roses and sunshiny stuff, and I don’t shy away from writing characters dealing with relationship problems in an unhealthy way (See my Mosaac fanfic). BUT I don’t adore tropes which involve two people trying to ‘fix’ one another despite carrying heavy issues they themselves can’t fix (self-esteem, etc.). 

I’m all for friends, family, and significant others supporting loved ones during tough times or when they’re overcoming heavy psychological problems. What I can’t stand by is “the bad boy falls in love with a person who changes them through the power of love” trope. 

Now, back to Arthur (our ‘bad boy’ in this case). I don’t know about him and MC, but if I were to write about him and Theo in a romantic relationship, boy it’s going to be an emotional train wreck. It might go smoothly at first with Theo being the more patient and emotionally mature person for Arthur, but as time goes on, I bet there will be scenarios in which some problems become too hot to handle and explode right in their faces.

Like Dazai and Arthur, Arthur and Theo make a tantalizing ship (tho I’m currently leaning more toward Arthur x Dazai because I’ve been shipping them longer) but their development will be very emotionally taking to write. I’m not saying I don’t want to because I’m actually very HYPED to write about them.

I just need some time to research Arthur’s character and  determine how his and Theo’s dynamics would go. I haven’t read up much on Theo from Vince’s or his own route either (I have the JP app too), but Theo is a surprisingly relatable character who gives me just enough to write about him. Well, not that deep that I can write him as POV character, but at least he’s a lot more maneuverable than Arthur.

That said, there ARE hints of Theo x Arthur x Dazai in my Stolen Batteries fic, but let me tell you: it ain’t gonna be a pretty ride.

In conclusion, I ship Arthur with Theo, but making them endgame? Yeahhhh that’s gonna be difficult because Arthur is a human disaster when it comes to dealing with his own demons. Making a romantic, intimate relationship work with Theo (whom I don’t think is as well-adjusted as he seems) will require some emotional labor.

Speaking from my heart of hearts,  I’ve been avoiding writing about him thus far because I feel like I need to dig into his character a little more (which is probably gonna take a while since I’m juggling two routes rn in the English server). Also,  I love Theo and Dazai too much to see them crash and burn with Arthur.

I hope that answers your question, anon. 

[floorbed]

pen playlist tiem. brain full of thoughts i think this is my longest playlist ever . lyrics and annotation and sections under the cut for funsies heh

home

me and my husband - mitski

and i am the idiot with a painted face / in the corner taking up space / but when he walks in i am loved / i am loved / me and my husband we’re doing better / it’s always been just him and me together / so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow / and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together

turf war - momma

the kings and queens are on the court / they’re sitting pretty on the floor

this charming man - the smiths

a jumped up pantry boy / who never knew his place / he said return the ring / he knows so much about these things / he knows so much about these things

utopia - cowgirl clue

living in a great utopia is quite nice is quite nice / living in a great utopia you pay the price you pay the price / living in a great utopia roll the dice kiss goodbye / living the dream living the dream living the dream

bubblegum bitch - marina and the diamonds

got a figure like a pin up got a figure like a doll / don’t care if you think i’m dumb i don’t care at all / candy bear sweetie pie wanna be adored / i’m the girl you’d die for / i’ll chew you up and spit you out / cus that’s what young love is all about

…

oh dear diary, i met a boy

(do the) act like you never met me - tv girl

the hidden kisses / the clumsy conspiratory glance / but i don’t really mind it no / i always liked the way you danced

it will come back - hozier

don’t give it a hand / offer it a soul / honey make this easy / leave it to the land / this is what it knows / honey that’s how it sleeps / don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ don’t be kind to it / honey don’t feed it it will come back

real men - mitski

little boys cry and look around for comfort and / always get what they want

song against sex - neutral milk hotel

and he said oh boy you are so pretty / enough to wrap tight in rice paper string / and when i finally kissed him / the whole world began to ring / lost like a bell that’s tipping over / with two cracks along both sides / and i knew the world was over / so i took a look outside

(running away before the trial and seeing the world for the first time vibes!)

exile, early party

april and the phantom - animal collective

i’m sorry april / but you’ll be fine till then / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom

(Pens First Summoning Dot Mp3)

insects are all around us - money mark

(from pens very first introduction in session 1 when he was walking in the woods and was described like looking like a lil insect)

bug - alex g

and when you go there / you stay there / bug in the crosshair / you stay there

king of carrot flowers pt 2 & 3 - neutral milk hotel

i love you jesus christ / jesus christ i love you yes i do

you’ll miss me when i’m not around - grimes

if you don’t bleed then you don’t die / cross my heart and hope to fly / if you like it then you’ll make it out alive / if they could see me now / smiling six feet underground / i’ll tie my feet to rocks and drown / you’ll miss me when i’m not around

rich bitch juice (HANA remix) - alice longyu gao

don’t you dare talk to me / bitch

fool - moonbounce

you could’ve let me think im right / i could’ve tried to keep my cool / i could’ve followed my own rules / i could’ve used you like a tool / i could’ve played a fucking fool

isle

hooped earrings - the front bottoms 

and you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / yeah you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / and there are not so many options / there’s not so many ways that this could possibly end / so you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again

wicked boy - alex g 

real men walk / on the outside / on the outside / on the outside / and they take it for the team

black hair - alex g

it’s not what you are / it’s just what you did / don’t hang up the phone / i love you to death / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return 

rabbit heart - florence & the machine

this is a gift it comes with a price / who is the lamb and who is the knife / when minas is king and he holds me so tight / and turns me to gold in the sunlight

oh ana - mother mother

i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god today / hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay

i am my own hell - teen suicide

i’m learning all kinds of tricks / how to drain the blood from my face

brick - alex g

i know that you’re lying / you think i don’t but i always fucking do

come back - alex g

made my promise and i’m keeping it for kicks / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this

river of the night 

trick - alex g

(this is what his Contract Signing Dream sounded like that’s all)

call this # now - the garden

call this number now / if you wanna check it out / well just do yourself a favor and just call this number now / call this number now 

long way down - teen suicide

you’re a spoiled kid who’s never gonna get / anything that you deserve / i know this life’s gonna be just fine / but with any luck you know the next one’s gonna hurt

business man - mother mother

talkin bout the business man / devil with a sunday plan / buddy with a stupid laugh / just talkin bout the business man / pretty little baby / pretty little monster / went to the good school / left with honors

king rat - modest mouse

deep water / deep water / senseless denial / i went down like a rag doll rat of a child

oh lucky lucky lucky lucky me again / i said it looks like i’ve got to use my feet again / well i just spent my last one hundred dollars / god i’ll pay my bill again 

after dying and being saved

new gods - grimes

hands reaching out to new gods / you can’t give me what i want / but what do i know? / i wanna i wanna i wanna let go / i wear black eyeliner / black attire yeah / so take me higher and higher and higher

…

only brand new gods can save me

home again - carole king

sometimes i wonder if i’m ever gonna make it home again / it’s so far and out of sight / i really need someone to talk to and nobody else / knows how to comfort me tonight / snow is cold rain is wet / chills my soul through the marrow / i won’t be happy till i see you alone again / till i’m home again and feeling right

miracle - paramore

and have i told you / i’m not going / cuz i’ve been waiting for a miracle / and i’m not leaving / i won’t let you / let you give up on a miracle / when it might save you

(Pen And Ori. Pen Telling Ori He’s Not Going To Stay At The Castle [Bc He Couldnt Imagine Not Seeing Her Everyday.] Pens Naive Optimism + His Want T.o Make Her Feel Better Abt The Future and The World And Everything)

dinner and diatribes - hozier

i knew it from the first look of / the look of mischief in your eyes / friends are a fate that befell me / head is the talking type / i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me / what you’d do to me tonight

(Pen And Juni Anthem)

funny - the scary jokes

and i laughed and i laughed and i gasped and i cried / and i tried not to think of my love as a punchline / but i knew the truth would catch up with me sometime / and oh what a funny joke am i

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3)

pretty funny - dogfight (lindsay mendez)

isn’t it funny?  isn’t it funny?  aren’t you funny? / pathetically naive and desperate to believe you could always find some good / well you misunderstood or you’ve been dreaming / cus people are just cruel

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3 Part 2)

until it goes - john congleton

oh my vengeance i swear will be biblical

…

my bride my bride how do i silence / this restlessness inside me / inside i see it kneeling through keyholes / my bride i need no absolution / on this day of my execution / just stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me until the horror goes

(abandonment issues pen be like *stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me noises*. also one day i want pen to hurt everyone who has severely fucked with him and thats all [m****** and d******])

beautiful - carole king

you’ve got to get up every morning / with a smile on your face / and show the world all the love in your heart / then people gonna treat you better / youre gonna find yes you will / that you’re beautiful as you feel

don’t ask me to explain - of montreal

i’d like to marry all of my close friends / live in a big house together by an angry sea / am i the devil’s marbles don’t move on without me / who will be watching my body when i sleep / who will i believe in

(Pen Be Like I Love Ori And Juni And Alba And That Is My Disease. )

100 years - florence welch

i believe in you /and in our hearts we know the truth / and i believe in love / even the darker it gets the more i do / you try and fill us with your hate and we will shine a light / and the days will become endless / and never turn to night

...

a hundred arms / a hundred years / you can always find me here / and lord don’t let me break this / let me hold it lightly / give me arms to pray with / instead of ones that hold too tightly 

[absollnk]

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun