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#makes me sick even think about it
playgroundmissy · 1 month
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i know i just rebbloged that ghostbur post but im feeling the hibi jibis (anxiety) cus with the taga i feel like im supporting him when its not like that (im just overthinking it at this point)
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golyadkin · 10 months
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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr
not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work
believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody
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fiendishartist2 · 6 months
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hold on i need to converse with my co counsel *turns to 15 yr old girl*
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bamsara · 1 year
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
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shimmershy · 6 months
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Buttercups and Golden Flowers
#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing.#so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image.#it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning.#my art#undertale#chara#chara dreemurr#safeutdr#something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous.#the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara.#contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan.#you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of#golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well.#why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're#the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground.#it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle.#it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative.#from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing#but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings.#well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me.#see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers#and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same.#'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?'#'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!'#<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater.#i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.
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I will never recover from the knowledge that thymoma generally has a very high survival rate, and in most cases that it becomes fatal, the patient has unknowingly lived with the cancer for years. There's a chance that Wilson was sick for half the series and didn't even know it.
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wholecakes · 5 months
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zoro who is so caught off guard by sanji’s kinder actions towards him is one of my favorite tropes. sanji crafting him specialized post workout snacks personally adjusted for him but still down to fight and call him names. he’s still the biggest asshole zoro has ever had the displeasure of knowing, and he’s horribly considerate. he’s a little confused but doesn’t reject any of sanji’s specialized treats. it’s not like sanji is fawning and doting over him like he does nami, so zoro feels like he can cross off sanji actually liking him from his list of reasons as to why sanji is acting like this. but it’s still fucking strange..
meanwhile sanji is in his kitchen wondering how zoro hasn’t taken a damn hint yet
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seagiri · 6 months
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helmet party because i no longer feel like everyone is sick of me drawing these two art keeps getting harder each day and my brain feels fuzzy again
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verc0pa · 3 months
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they did not miss w the annual xiaolumi date im kicking my feet in the air rn
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ghastlyaffairs · 18 days
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
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the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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meyhew · 7 months
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You condone violence against innocent civilians?
i don’t “condone” it but i’m not condemning it in this context because apart from the actual babies and children, there are no “innocent civilians” in israel. the men, the women, the elderly—they’re all settlers and they’re all complicit in the crimes of their government. almost all of them have homes they can flee to outside of israel. they take their sweet time packing up their bags and going to the airport to fly elsewhere. a huge number of the israeli population also holds american citizenship because they are all settlers. they are living on very recently stolen land, in other people’s very recently stolen homes. they have in the past made it a celebration to watch missiles strike palestinian civilians. after facing decades of terror and brutalization, if palestinians are finally striking back violently, i 100% support it. and they have not intentionally targeted civilians i beg u to actually get news from somewhere that isn’t western media twisting the narrative. purposefully killing and torturing civilians is a tactic straight out of israel’s playbook. not palestine’s. everything israel is promising to do in retaliation, it has already done to the people of gaza. it has already killed and abducted women and children on purpose, for years on end. thousands of people jailed indefinitely without cause. countless residents bombed to rubble. where’s the condemnation from everyone for that
and once again, even if a handful of civilians were targeted by hamas, i don’t condemn it. because again: the civilians are fucking settlers. palestinians have been nonviolent in their resistance for a long time and an oppressed group can only be passive for so long before they start to hate their aggressor. all of this is a result of the israeli government terrorizing palestinians for decades and the israeli settlers choosing to be there. who would the israeli government do all this for if there wasn’t a population it was governing? only the children are absolved of that guilt because they haven’t had the choice to be there or move back to wherever the fuck they came from
open up a history book. decolonization is violent. and i will always be on the side of the oppressed, no matter how violently they fight back
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daftpatience · 3 months
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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nights-flying-fox · 8 months
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Mystic Sickness Part 1
This is based on @turtleblogatlast 's post about mystic sickness idea :D Hope you like it!!!
Word Count: 2178 ☆ Fandom: rottmnt ☆ Warnings: a brief mention of throwing up, nothing else i can think of ^^ ☆ AO3 Link: N/A
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 Raph has had his bad mornings. He had been sick from overworking too. With how he felt today, he could tell it was a mix of both.
 
 Except it turned out there was more than that. It must be, or else why would a clone of himself stare at him like that?
 
 Raph yelped as he fell from the bed. "What the-?!"
 
 His copy didn't seem to care. It lay on his bed, not even looking at Raph. The turtle blinked in confusion. That was definitely his own ninpo copy. Why was it here, and why was it moving like that? Raph tried to focus and control it, just like he always did, but he failed. The copy still lay on the bed.
 
 He stared at him. Raph was too tired for that, not to mention how early it was-
 
 "AH-"
 
 Raph turned around. "Leo?"
 
 There was nobody else in his room though.
 
 "Is this some sort of joke?" Raph grunted. "If so, Raph's going back to bed and leavin' you to deal with today's plans alone. All day."
 
 "RAPH NO-"
 
 He turned around again, looking everywhere searching for his brother. Again, nothing.
 
 "I am really not in the mood for pranks-"
 
 Suddenly Leo appeared in front of him, "RAPH HELP I-" and disappeared.
 
 Raph looked at the empty spot where a second ago his brother stood. First his own copy, now Leo. What was going on?
 
 "RAAAAAPH!!" 
 
 Raph groaned, “WHAT IS IT DONNIE?”
 
 “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOUR COPIES DOING?!”
 
 His copies? Raph glanced at his copy on his bed before leaving his room and heading to the living room. He had many ideas, most of them nonsense considering his tired and hazy mind. But nothing could’ve prepared him for this:
 
 Many copies of himself running around, accidentally breaking some stuff, some sitting in random places... Donnie was standing at the other entrance, looking tired and angry. Pissed off even.
 
 He noticed Raph looking. “Dear brother, may you explain what is going on during such an early hour that you have decided bring out a whole army of yous?”
 
 “It is not me...” Raph mumbled as he walked towards Donnie, not being able to look away from the chaos going on in the room.
 
 “They are your copies though. Can’t you control them?” Donnie pointed out. “Genuinely asking. I am too tired to be salty.”
 
 “I tried but it is not working.” Raph tried again, failing. Then gave his full attention to Donnie, “You are tired too?”
 
 “I suspect I have caught a cold.” He nodded.
 
 “Me too. I’ve been feeling down since I woke up.”
 
 “Groan. It better not be some sort of illness.” Donnie said.
 
 “As long as it is not rat flu, it will be okay.” Raph reassured.
 
 Donnie shuddered. “Rat flu. Let’s forget about the failure and move on to our current problem.”
 
 “Cold or them?” Raph asked.
 
 “...” Donnie stared at nothing before answering. A usual sign of Donnie being sick. “Yes.”
 
 “Okay, okay. Sickness. Leo has the most knowledge about this.” Raph said out loud. “I’ll go and ask him.”
 
 “Mhm.” Donnie had already begun walking towards the kitchen.
 
 Raph started walking towards Leo’s room, ignoring the messy hallway. Since when did they have all that stuff and who was responsible for this mess? Probably his clones... When he reached to the room, “Leo?” he called. He received no reply. Raph didn’t bother asking again. He walked in, not caring about Leo’s upcoming protests. Except there was none because Leo wasn’t in there. “What?..”
 
 Oh. Right, he had seen Leo for a second in his room for a second. He had appeared and disappeared as if teleporting. But Raph didn’t remember seeing his katanas. He glanced around and saw the swords near his bed on the ground. He was right.
 
 What did this mean?.. What was going on this morning?? Raph began getting annoyed with whatever was going on. Not to mention how anxious he started feeling not finding Leo in his room. Where was he?
 
 Maybe he was with Mikey. Maybe they were doing some stupid prank.
 
 Raph a bit faster from before left the room and began walking towards Mikey’s room. Normally Mikey would be up, making breakfast. But if he and Donnie were right, he should be in his room resting. As he stepped into Mikey’s room, he hopped to see him and Leo doing some sort of mischief.
 
 Instead, he found Mikey levitating, golden chains around him, asleep.
 
 “What the shell?!”
 
 Mikey yawned, blinking. “Mmmmmorning Raphie!” He smiled, being the morning person he was. “Is there any possibility you let me sleep a bit more?”
 
 “Mikey, you are flying.”
 
 “What?”
 
 “Look around, Mike.”
 
 Mikey did. In a second his expression shifted from confused to shocked to excited to panicked. “I AM FLYING!”
 
 “THAT’S WHAT I AM SAYING!” Raph yelled. “GET BACK TO THE GROUND NOW.”
 
 “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO!”
 
 “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?!”
 
 “Boys, what is all this yelling for?..” Raph heard Splinter’s voice come from behind. Then he heard a gasp. “ORANGE WHY ARE YOU LEVIATING?”
 
 “I have no idea.” Mikey answered. He noticed the chains around him, “Oooh I also have no idea what these are but cool.”
 
 Raph took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. First things first. Pops, have you seen Leo?”
 
 “Uh- no. No, I haven’t.” Splinter turned his attention to Raph, less surprised and more worried.
 
 “Mikey, did you see him?”
 
 “Nope!”
 
 So Leo was lost. Don’t panic Raph. He is probably somewhere around here, he thought. “I’ll text April.”
 
 “Red, is everythin—”
 
 Suddenly, just like how it happened in Raph’s room, Leo appeared in the room. He looked very puzzled, tired, annoyed, and a bit panicked. Before Raph could be sure, Leo disappeared again.
 
 His voice, however, was heard from another room. “COME ON!!”
 
 And then from another room, they heard him again. Raph couldn’t make up the words but he sounded irritated.
 
 “Was that Leo?” Mikey asked.
 
 “Yes.” Raph answered, still very confused.
 
 “Where did he go?”
 
 “I don’t know.”
 
 “Boys, what is going on?” Splinter sounded serious.
 
 Raph sadly didn’t have a proper answer. “That’s what I am trying to figure out.” He sighed. “Can you check Donnie? He is in the kitchen and said that he felt sick too.”
 
 “I will be waiting you two there.” Splinter nodded. “I’ll look around for Blue on the way.”
 “CAN SOMEONE—”
 
 Leo’s voice came from his room.
 
 “—HELP ME—”
 
 This time from somewhere closer.
 
 “I think I can handle him.” Raph said.
 
 Splinter smiled, “I’ll make you chicken soup.”
 
 “Thanks Dad.”
 
 As Splinter left, Raph reached for Mikey. Grabbing his blanket, he pulled him closer to him. Mikey watched him with sleepy eyes. “Raphie, can we sleep more?”
 
 “No, Big Man. We need to help Leo first, and then we need to eat something.” Raph said softly, walking out of the room meanwhile. Mikey huffed but didn’t protest. Raph decided to find Leo following his voice: “Leo? Where are you?”
 
 “RAPH! Bathroom—” Suddenly his voice was cut. Then continued from somewhere else, “Never mind. I-” Another pause. The Leo calmly yelled, “I’ll go insane.”
 
 “What’s happening?” Raph shouted.
 
 “I keep teleported-” “-without wanting-” “-to every second.”
 
 “That sounds bad.”
 
 “You don’t say-” “DONNIE IS THA-” “THAT WAS MY MUG!!”
 
 At least Leo didn't teleport out of the lair.
 
 "I think we should call Draxum." Mikey hummed, somehow unbothered.
 
 "Wha- why?" Splinter's reaction hadn't changed even after everything. 
 
 "He knows about mystic stuff." Mikey said lazily. It reminded Raph of how he was when he had eaten one of the poisoned pizza puffs.
 
 "You think this is because of a mystic problem?" Raph asked.
 
 "I know it is because of a mystic problem." Mikey confirmed. 
 
 "How?"
 
 "Can't you feel it? Hm?"
 
 Raph wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. Donnie leaned towards them, goggles on his eyes. "He is right. There is something wrong with our mystic energies." 
 
 "I'm calling Draxum." Raph announced. 
 
 "Already on it." Donnie interrupted. He, from out of nowhere, had found his phone and was calling the yokai. 
 
 "Please tell me you're solving this." Leo appeared next to Raph, not looking good.
 
 "We're calling Draxum." Mikey smiled.
 
 "Oh good, because I- hrk-" 
 
 Luckily before he could throw up, he disappeared. 
 
 "We need you here. No, we didn't put the world in danger. We aren't dying either. No, we aren't calling you so you can cook us your new abomination. Abomination as a strange creature made of food, i.e. Sloppy Joseph. No, I'm not talking about your food. Yes. There's a problem with our ninpo. Okay, goodbye." Donnie put the phone on the table. "He'll be here soon." 
 
 "Good… Donnie, what's that?" Raph pointed at the tech that wasn't on the table a second ago. 
 
 "Ah. A piece for my new project. Why?"
 
 "When did you bring it here?"
 
 "...I didn't."
 
 "What do you mean I didn't?" 
 
 Donnie raised a brow. "I didn't bring it here. I was thinking about it and it appeared." 
 
 "Appeared?"
 
 Donnie shrugged.
 
 "Since when do things appear when you think of them, Dee?" Raph questioned.
 
 "That's a talent of mine, dear Raphael. My ninpo is very unique in comparison to yours–" Donnie began explaining.
 
 "Since when do they appear without you controlling them?" Raph corrected his own question.
 
 "Ah. Yes, that would be… since last night." 
 
 "And you didn't think of telling us?" Raph was losing his patience, to be honest.
 
 "I didn't think it would be a problem." Donnie admitted.
 
 Raph wanted to break the table. "You thought it wouldn't be a problem." He repeated. "And what if you accidentally create something deadly?" 
 
 "Come on Raph, he creates something deadly all the time." Mikey chimed in. "Like pipe bombs." 
 
 "Mikey, don't!" But Raph was too late. A pipe bomb was formed next to Donnie's mug. 
 
 "None of us is dumb enough to use a pipe bomb, we will be fine." Donnie stated. Then took a sip from his tea. 
 
 Raph wasn't sure about that. He trusted his brothers, but he also knew how much of a trouble they could be. 
 
 Leo appeared among them again. "Dee, I'd suggest you not enter your lab." He said tiredly. 
 
 "Nardo, what did you do to my lab?" Donnie looked at him with a mixture of horror and anger.
 
"Adiós." He made a peace sign and disappeared again.
 
 Donnie immediately opened his phone to check the cameras inside his laboratory. Raph could see the fury in his eyes. Maybe Leo was lucky to be teleported every second, now that he got on Donnie's hit list. 
 
 Splinter put bowls of chicken soup in front of them, "You boys look terrible."
 
 "Thanks." Raph sighed.
 
 "You'll feel much better after my delicious soup." He said. "Now, only if Blue could join us…"
 
 The soup was warm and smelled delicious. Raph couldn't wait to taste it. He would already, if he hadn't noticed his copy coming in. Ninpo Raph walked towards them, stood by them, then took the pipe bomb and ran.
 
 "What the-?! HEY STOP!" Raph got up and ran after him, leaving Mikey to float again.
 
 He chased his clone back to the living room, but it was hard to catch yourself. Especially in a room full of yourself. He stopped, trying to find which one was the right clone. When he did, he was leaving towards the bathroom. Raph didn't waste time following him. Before he reached him though, someone made his copy trip and fell. 
 
 "This yours, Boss Man?" Leo asked.
 
 "Yep." And with a punch, poof the copy disappeared. "Thanks."
 
 "Save me some soup." Leo said before getting teleported again. 
  
 "I will." Raph sighed, taking the pipe bomb from the ground. He could hide it in his room for now. Then go back and drink some soup so he can focus on the situation better when Draxum arrives. Perfect plan.
 
 He quickly walked to his room, found a nice place to hide it, and proceeded to grab his mask and stuff. Then he remembered the transceivers Donnie had put on their gear. They could use this to communicate with Leo! If only Leo can stand in a place for a moment. Raph still thought it was worth a try, so he went to Leo’s room to get his stuff as well before returning to the kitchen.
 
 Donnie had dozed off on the table with a few weapons and tech things that Raph didn’t know their names around him. Mikey was still floating, also sleeping. He seemed to be fine though. Splinter was enjoying his own bowl of soup. Raph sat down and finally tasted the soup. It was delicious, as always, even though it wasn’t warm anymore.
 
 “Did you boys mess up with somebody evil again?” Splinter asked Raph.
 
 “No, we were training and patroling the past few days.” He answered. “That’s what I don’t understand too.”
 
 “Hmm...”
 
 “Don’t worry, Pops. I am sure it is something Draxum can explain. Then we can fix it all at once and then rest.”
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avspol · 3 months
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it was absolutely foul of araki to name polnareff's sister sherry (phonetically very similar to cherry) and then decide that kakyoin would be associated with cherries and that he would be like a brother to polnareff and that he would also die . why would you do that
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transmechanicus · 30 days
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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frootbyethefoot · 3 months
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trophy hunting
[ID: a digital drawing of maki harukawa from danganronpa v3: killing harmony. maki is standing dead center, with a blank, almost thousand yard stare, and a neutral expression. she is holding a black and white checkered piece of fabric, with a splash of bright pink blood on it.
behind her are three panels. the first panel, towards the left shows a crossbow, the strike-9 poison bottle, the antidote covered in blood, and a bloody handprint. all of the panels are in greyscale, except for the bright pink blood. the second panel, in the middle, shows kokichi oumas clothing with blood running down the back. the final panel shows kaito momotas jacket, with blood running down the sleeve. END ID/]
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