#making my return on here with a stupid ass meme

[bat-circus]

This is literally me drawing saiki kitty

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez as Dads-

collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell who shares the same single braincell as me bc we know we're not the only ones obsessed with the recent ateez x children content

(disclaimer: i don't like babies. but the idea of ateez handling babies? adorable. loren, however, loves kids so here's the outcome)

Hongjoong

"hold this thing, i don't know what to do with it."

"that's your child, hongjoong."

looks like the frightened hamster meme when the baby starts crying out of nowhere

sometimes sleeps through the baby crying its lungs out at night LMAO but that's only when he's exhausted asf

bet he'll write a song or two about fatherhood too and you'll be like 'what would you know about it you slept through the night'

may be uncomfortable at times but when he starts bonding, you'll see it in his actions

like when he reforms cute little things like clothings or shoes for his baby, adding little dangly things to the crib

or when he makes cute accessories for the baby

matching reformed things omg

super stylish matching parent-kid duo

the bonding literally happens with the smallest moment like one day the baby is crying in his arms and tugs at his shirt with its little fist and he's done for he loves his kid 10000x more all of a sudden

and when the baby calms down immediately after coming into his arms? he'll die of happiness

and when the baby recognises him in a group of people??? new level of dad unlocked

literally melts whenever the kid runs across the room to fly into his arms or calls him daddy

paints the room for his kid and gives them a wall in their room to paint whatever they like

lets the kid paint his nails and they could even have that one matching painted fingernail omg

later when the kid grows up they'll have uv lights and like the latest stuff for nails but you bet hongjoong's gonna dry that nail paint by blowing on it-

literally the most supportive, allowing the kid to explore beyond conventional boundaries and guiding them along

also very attentive esp when they start growing up and observing

he'll make sure he answers all of their curious little questions to the best of their understanding

and surprisingly, he won't mind his kid in his studio

like how adorable is it when you find your kid in his lap, sharing earphones as he composes?

he just loves it when they sit on him or when they lie down next to him/on top of him when he's resting that's his therapy

Seonghwa

more of a mother than the real mother

knows exactly what to do like he's raised six kids already (i'm looking at you ateez)

wakes up at ass o clock in the morning to shush the crying baby so you can get some sleep :')

mother-coded that's what he is

you'll definitely be learning motherhood from him LMAO

but jokes aside he's actually the best partner you could have asked for in such a situation

he's so so patient with the kid and you

esp you

he understands when you're overwhelmed and when you need a break

so he's always willing to give you some space and takes care of the kid in the meanwhile which is so :')

so you try your best to return it to him in every way as well <3

you'll both be figuring this journey out together and that's the best part

bonds with the kid so good

esp when they start going to school and he literally can't wait for them to get home so he can hear about how their day was

lives for the gossip he gets from his kids about school too LOL

he'll be like yass give me the tea come on

also pretty much behaves like a kid when he's having a good time with his kids

like he goes 'no it's my turn to select the ice cream flavour you have to try this you'll love it i'm not hearing a no-'

kids teach him new slangs but you bet he'll stick to the good old 'no cap' and 'yeet'

gets matching stupid stuff like those green alien glasses for him and the kid-

you just know your kids will love him more than you and you accept it. you don't mind that at all bc he's such a lovable person

he'll always be running around the house with them trying to catch them or letting them catch him

they will watch animated movies together and draw together and make legos together they're gonna share that obsession

he's there. always. in every moment of their life :')

Yunho

curious to learn

but that doesn't stop him from playing with the baby like they're a toy boi has no fear

he's always gushing over how small and cute and adorable they are

he'll also be a bit scared at first to hold the baby in his arms but will get used to it real quick

loves feeding them and cleaning them with you

he's got some sort of magic to him too he can soothe a crying baby in seconds

plays with them/holds them like they're a cat/puppy

gives them rides on his shoulders and they love it you can hear their laughter ring around the house

teases you about how they look nothing like you but if they do look like you more, he'll be scanning them for one similarity that he can boast about.

"he's got my smile. see?"

loves playing with their hair and combing and styling it

also loves it when you all match unintentionally when going out

the type to play with the kids in the most unconventional ways when you're not looking

almost accidentally drops the baby at least once a week- i said ALMOST okay he's good at catching.

kids cling on to his long legs and he effortlessly walks like no big deal omgg

would even swing his legs like an amusement ride which might possibly earn a scream from you-

also once used the laundry basket as a rollercoaster for the kid. you can imagine how that ended. no living beings were harmed tho-

HE'S A FUN DAD OK

literally his kids are always running around him asking him to do sth fun with them or tell them jokes or play with him

teaches the kids the latest trends

makes dancing tik toks with them

he's actually also the super responsible dad, always dependable. you literally have nothing to worry about esp bc he can be serious when he needs to be

he allows the kids to take challenges, believing the kids need to grow at their own pace and that getting hurt is also a part of growing up

teaches them to be kind, to respect people, to always smile

goes on dates with them to the amusement parks, aquariums, carnivals etc and when they're older they go fishing or go-karting

Yeosang

(sincerely apologise for using a photo with alcohol in a post with babies BUT DOES HE NOT LOOK BABY HERE???)

the babiest of dads

googles whatever the baby does as if that will give him the answer

notices every little thing the baby does

follows instructions like a robot

forgets that the baby is actually a baby and they can't really do their stuff themselves so he has to do it for them-

like for example after a meal he clears the high chair and forgets he needs to help the baby off the chair until it wails LOL

is always worrying about what the baby is feeling esp when it is crying without a reason

always fusses about the little things bc he cares so much :')

sometimes you have to sit him down and tell him that it's okay if the baby is crying-

he even enjoys simply watching the baby esp when they do stupid stuff or play around with food

"that's disgusting but so adorable"

gets taught the latest trends by his kid but still ends up using them in the wrong contexts lmao

yeosang and the kid wailing about the mom on their way home until yeo takes the wrong turn and the kid glares at him and points to the right direction

yeosang and the kid in the shopping mall and yeosang gets lost

goes to the counter to pay but taps his pockets bc he can't find his wallet and the kid sighs loudly and hands it to him

yeosang taking his kid to the parent teacher meeting and he forgets HE'S the parent

he may be forgetful and zone out at times but he's actually very responsible. you never worry whenever you leave your kid with him and go out. you can depend on him <3

you'll see him mature as his kids grow up too, like you can literally see him learning fatherhood

doesn't mean they won't open dexter's laboratory when you're gone and clean up the mess before you come-

sees cute posts about lunchboxes with octopus sausage and seaweed characters on the rice but canNOT replicate it even after spending hours but the kids flaunt it like a masterpiece at their school <3 (loren you're so right for this)

his kids' friends WILL have a crush on yeosang. the teachers might too. how could you not??

his kids gon be the prettiest istg-

San

i'm sorry to break it to you but you'll have to take care of two babies <3

as loren said 'normal children learn behaviours from their parents. san learns behaviours from the baby.'

pretends to cry when the baby is crying so he can also receive hugs and kisses from you

he's actually the most responsive father ever, like he'll know what's actually happening with the kid instead of pretending to know

it's like he's connected to them on an astral level

so he's pretty much a natural caretaker

like he said, he knows how to give love

so he'll never make you feel less loved as well

he'll keep reassuring you how imp you are to him esp now that you're the mother of his child and he'll always be grateful to you for bringing this blessing into his life

but he also has his moments LMAO like i can just imagine him playing with the kid in the most babiest of manners

to the point the kid refuses to listen to you

the kids will always ALWAYS choose him whenever they're asked the 'who do you love more mom or dad' question

and even though that makes you pissed momentarily bc pls who wouldn't get pissed you find it super adorable how much your kids love their dad

safe place.

tells his kids early on what's good and what's bad. no compromises

teaches them when to be sorry and when to stand up for themselves

taekwondo together <3 he'll make them show off at family events or stuff and demand that the audience give good reactions otherwise he's gonna pout sooo hard

he'll make sure his kids don't laze around. chores? yes. exercise? yes. nap-time? necessary. homework? don't even dare to say no. play-time? HELL YES

teaches traditional games to his kids too and makes them interact with other kids to play instead of video games so early on

the video games are HIS okay they can't touch it until they grow up

kids go to him for help in school work and he'll sit there all zoned out wondering when the hell this got included in their syllabus

will refuse to give up until you catch him tired and scratching his head in confusion

"i'm pretty sure education gets tougher every year."

"whatever helps you sleep at nights san <3" LOL

loves spending time together, all of you, anywhere as long as you all are together <3

Mingi

9/10 times will cry when the baby cries

but also really good at taking care of them and it amazes him too

calms the baby down with the cutest most concerned face ever so he looks more baby than the baby

pretends to sleep when the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night

until you poke his stomach and go 'don't you fucking dare' and he starts laughing helplessly

but then takes the reins and lets you sleep if you look too done <3

jokingly tries to gaslight you into thinking it's your turn to settle the baby but you bet you're keeping tabs too

but when he sees how tired you look, he'll never ever complain no matter how tired he may be himself. will even tuck YOU into bed

the type to sit in the lounge with some kid's show on with the kid itself and you give him snacks to feed the kid

but at some point he got a taste and now he's looking at the packaging and going 'this shit good' when it's actually some baby-friendly snack 😭

and then suddenly it's all gone and the kid is glaring at mingi with angry eyes 😭😭 and he's like pleasure is temporary my child-

but now he has his own fav baby snacks too.

does freestyle rapping about the misery of fatherhood LMAO

also does lame stuff like tapping on the baby's shoulder and when they turn to look at him he has his finger out so it pokes the baby's cheek like-

gets matching shades for him and the kid

hangs out with them a lot, even if it's inside

hears every story they have to tell but also they just looooveee to hear stories from him bc he's a good storyteller

even though half of the shit is made up but he pretends it actually happened-

"one time i saw your mom ugly crying in a shop. i asked her what the matter was. she saw me and fell in love instantly."

"wasn't it the other way?"

loves swinging his kids in his arms whenever he comes home and then you stand there all pouty and he runs after you-

can't scold kids to save himself. can never. always bursts out laughing whenever he glares at them. so you do that for him.

now you're the antagonist in the house

can't handle when his kids are being adorable like he'll just clutch his heart and pretend to faint

best father-kid dynamic bc he's the playful but responsible dad

Wooyoung

he's a natural at this come on

"i feel like he's more my sibling than my own child"

always has his baby in his arms to the point you have to snatch it from him bc you can see he's tired

takes care of everything- from bathing them to feeding them. he's so good at it too

you love him even more bc he may tease you to bits but you never thought he'd be a cooperative lovable menace too

talks to the baby in baby language and they actually hold conversations

and when you join he'll just make fun of you LOL

starts treating you like a baby too when you're tired and you're not sure you hate that you might actually start doing it on purpose too-

taught the kid the art to charm people so they're throwing random cheeky compliments around

like they'll go to a shop and the kid will compliment the shopkeeper and they'll be like omg so precious and hand freebies

and those freebies would be wooyoung's earnings btw aint no way the kid gon have those

will train a family of cutest loveable menaces :')

the chef dad

creates masterpiece lunchboxes for his kids that even the teachers are tempted to steal

i can just imagine the girl friend (also crush) of wooyoung's son at school having a big fat crush on wooyoung and wanting to marry him like come on😭😭

then the son gets super grumpy about it and woo sits him down and asks what's bothering him

then he'll teach him how to bake cookies and the son ends up sweeping the girl off her feet omgg

woo placing his hands over his kid's hands bc they're too small to properly hold the piping bag when they decorate cakes and cookies and cupcakes

them playing in the kitchen and throwing flour on each other and you come and look all smugly at woo bc yes you're gonna clean this mess later on

but you end up joining them :')

dolls up his kids and asks them to kiss him on both his cheeks before they leave

and you bet the kids love that routine

hugs. all the time. hugs.

makes sure to capture these moments for memories if you haven't already and he'll love looking back at these days <3

Jongho

best dad

makes sure he doesn't forget to take care of you as you take care of the baby :')

always gets surprised when the baby does sth new

priceless reactions from him, esp when the baby first says a comprehensible word or takes its first steps

always spreading his arms whenever he spots the baby so the baby can crawl/walk/run to him

swings them in the air and does those little throws

the strong dad. the one who's carrying the kids effortlessly- one on the shoulder, one under the arm, walking as if they weigh nothing

jongho's kid: hi i'm hungry

jongho: hi hungry, i'm dad

overuses every dumb dad joke ever to exist but still finds it super hilarious and sometimes you'll end up laughing along

"back in my days-"

"ah shit here we go again."

bc you know dad jokes aside he's actually a super funny guy when he wants to be

the type to team up with his kid to tease YOU

whispers shit in their ears like 'go pull out your mom's hairclip as revenge for her not letting us hang out in the snow with ice cream last night' when you're super occupied and gets a good laugh out of it

taps your shoulder and then looks away when you glare at him but ends up pointing at the kid like the kid's the one who did it-

when the two are a giggling mess it's hard to differentiate who's the actual kid from the parent

sings with his kids a lot. might vocally train them a bit too

road trips are gonna be so much more fun when everyone's singing at the top of their lungs

when his kid is older and starts to get school assignments that require some form of art like creating a model or designing a poster, his kid is definitely going to score an A because jongho can and WILL help and end up over-achieving LOL

will plan with his kids on days like valentine's or mother's day or anniversary, prepare to get serenaded by the lot

he involves them a lot in everything so they grow up super smart

loves doing stupid things with the kids too like he'll literally be the one following the kids at times

but you love it bc you never have to worry about anything with him ;-; <3 he's also super protective

unless there's a bug in front of you. then you're all on your own.

[inkrabbit]

My Demon

I'm tired. I just wanted this thought out of my head.

No, I still didn't proofread and I'm not going to.

You remembered getting the call from Johnny, his quivering voice telling you what happened. Mary hit a pothole while driving their motorcycle and was flung off the bike, landing headfirst on the cement and cracking their skull open. Doctors said his death was instant.

You collapsed in your kitchen, letting out a loud cry. You had been close to Mary for the past few years, both of you growing close in shared interests and finding comfort in one another. The punk had always made you feel safe, even if their appearance had been a little scary at first. Still, he was the first person you went to for anything. Something shitty happened? Mary was there to comfort you and try to take your mind off of things. Something good happened in your life? Mary was the first person you told. Even whenever you saw a stupid meme, Mary would be the first person you would send it to regardless of what time it was.

Without him, you felt lost. You went to the funeral, biting your tongue when you saw Mary's mother crying her crocodile tears. She stood by his casket, dressed up in a black dress that looked more like it was meant for formal parties than it did a goddamn funeral. She stroked his hair for a bit, dabbed away her tears and muttered something. Mary's father showed little to no emotion, standing beside his wife and holding her. You wait until they walked away from the casket, spending your time in DD's arms and sobbing into his chest. You felt his body tremble against yours, his own face buried in your shoulder as he cried with you.

Mary was dressed in a nice suit. You knew they would've loathed wearing this while alive. Even in his death, his parents couldn't let him be free. You stood by their casket, gently stroking their face. You tried to stop crying, you really did. You knew Mary would've hated seeing you like this. But you couldn't help it. Your best friend was gone, and even weeks before their 35th birthday. You two had planned to go out to the country, far away from the city. Far away from all the noise and the lights. All they wanted to do was see the stars. It was their favorite thing.

You bent down, gently pressing your lips to their forehead, croaking out how much you would miss them. You slipped off one of your rings, tucking it into their suit pocket, that way a part of you was always with them, and you told them that they had been your everything. Every morning you woke up, you were always greeted with a text from them. And every night before bed, Mary would be the last person you would message saying goodnight to. Even during his shift, he would text you back within minutes, wishing you sweet dreams. You would miss those texts.

You sat in the back with the rest of the band. It's not that you four didn't want to be involved. Had it only been you guys, you all would've swarmed the casket, paying your respects and saying your goodbyes until it was time to go to the cemetery. But with his family here, you four had given them their space. You told Johnny it was out of respect but really, you guys had been making plans. You all agreed to give Mary the burial they deserved. Away from the cramped plot his parents picked out half-assed and somewhere they would've loved.

The forest. You all came to an agreement. There was a clearing Mary loved to go to where the trees circled around, breaking way for the sky to show. They would be underneath the stars like they loved, surrounded by the quiet and peaceful forest. You'd all dig up the new grave after Mary was buried, and you'd return to the cemetery later that night to retrieve his casket.

You didn't expect it to hurt when they lowered Mary's body into the casket and shut the lid. Another round of sobs tore through you, muffled by your hand. You stayed strong as you and the rest of the band helped lift their casket into the hearse, disgusted as his parents stood by and watched. And when you got to the cemetery, you tried your best to stay strong as their casket was lowered into the grave. You ignored their family for most of it. His mother stopped crying the second the service was over, her tears having magically dried up as she walked hand-in-hand with her husband back to their car. At least Johnny had the decency to come over and talk to you and the rest of Repugnant. Even if Mary's life was shitty, their older brother had always been the only decent member of their family.

He thanked you all for joining, gave his condolences and even told everyone that if they needed anything, his phone was always on. Before he left, he slipped you the key to Mary's apartment and softly begged you to get everything out. Mary's sketchbooks, paintings, books, guitar, anything. The family was going to raid their apartment tomorrow evening in search of things to sell or get rid of. You felt nauseated but happily agreed.

With the help of the others, you all tore into Mary's apartment, having grabbed boxes upon boxes from the warehouse at your job. Candles, brushes, paints, clothes, whatever you could grab, it went into a box. You all took something. No one fought for anything. You grabbed the spell books Mary wrote in, and G. had pushed some of the sketchbooks into your hands with a small smile. “Mary would've wanted you to have it.” You only realized what he meant after you opened the sketchbook when you got home. While there were sketches of the normal scenery and bandmates practicing, most of the pages were of you. You remembered these moments. Mary would occasionally scribble something down in their sketchbook that they kept tucked away in their jacket before nonchalantly continuing conversation. You had to blink back more tears.

By the time the sun set, all of Mary's valuables had been packed up into boxes and agreed on who would take what. Everything was loaded onto the moving truck you had rented. By the time everything had been dropped off and the new grave was dug, it was time to go get Mary.

The new burial went by in a blur and you fought to keep your emotions in check. The spot that had been picked was better. No one came to the clearing, Mary's grave was all on his own, and the moon passed overtop, illuminating the disturbed earth. You all said your goodbyes, picked up your things and went back home.

You unpacked the boxes from Mary's apartment, finding a spot for everything. Every now and then you would break down, sobbing for a bit before pulling yourself together. You'd do this periodically, memories of Mary flooding your thoughts and your emotions getting the better of you. You'd been good at hiding yourself every time you would let the floodgates open, finding an isolated spot every time you would feel your eyes water up and your breathing would get heavy. Though, there was one day where your manager had sent you home, having spotted you softly crying when you thought you were alone in the break room. You had softly thanked her and went home, scrolling through the old conversation between you and Mary for the millionth time.

A month after their death you got curious. You grabbed one of the spell books that sat upon your bookshelf and you flipped through the countless pages. Necromancy, hexes, protection spells, herbs that they had practiced with. But you stopped on one page. A sticky note was stuck to the page, detailing about summoning a demon. Oh, Mary. You could only imagine what was going through their head.

Fuck it. You weren't even sure you believed in it, but what did you have to lose? There were countless pages in this book that spoke about banishing demons. If you fucked up, you could just follow one of those and forget this night ever happened. So you gathered up your things, put down your protection barrier and stood in the middle of it as you recited the words scribbled down on the page.

Your blood ran cold when the demon appeared before you. A singular wing had unfurled behind its back, the ends torn. Rigid horns curled around towards their face, pointed high and sharp. But you're not able to get a good look at the demon before they start to change. Red eyes turn a mossy green, and that red skin turns a pale white. The black devil's lock makes your eyes tear up, your body shaking. He's standing before you looking just how you remember him, aside from the horns, wing and tail.

“Mary...?”

[leiawritesstories]

How about from the firsts list "first time defending them"?

CUUUUUTE thanks for asking!!

500 followers celebration prompt fills

Word count: 650

Warnings: dumb high school bullies, swearing, mild angst?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As she walked out of the classroom, Aelin slipped her earbuds in, tucked her head down, and focused on her footsteps, trying to drown out the soft whispers that followed her everywhere she went. Have you heard what she did? I knooowwww, it's so shady! Ugh, I just know she buys her followers, the dirty--

Enough.

Enough.

She knew the nasty words were just rumors, just a bunch of stupid high school kids who didn't know what they were talking about, but they hurt all the same. And she knew she could never stop them; nothing she said would change the whispers. If anything, speaking up would only make people believe their wild, disgusting lies even more.

No words she spoke would ever convince the student population of Orynth High that Aelin Galathynius was anything other than a desperate attention-seeker whose stupid little TikTok was probably only followed by bots and creepy old pervs. She had that damn account as a way to escape her reality, but it had turned out to invade her whole entire life.

"Hey look, it's Aelinnnnnnn," snickered Chaol Westfall, a particularly chauvinist member of the football team. He was convinced that his quarterback status made him the king of Orynth High, despite the fact that he'd never come close to winning any kind of championship. "Gonna do a trend for us, Aelinnnnnnn?" He stretched out the syllables of her name, mimicking her TikTok username.

Aelin rolled her eyes, so beyond done with Chaol's bullshit, and was half a second away from snarking an insult or ten when another guy's voice cut in.

"You're just jealous that her little trends get a million times more views and likes than your shitty photos of your flabs, Westfailure," Rowan Whitethorn scoffed. "Y'know, steroids don't do shit when you don't actually hit the gym."

Chaol's face turned a surprisingly vivid shade of crimson. "How about I hit you, asshat?" he snapped.

Rowan set his backpack casually on the floor, rolled his neck, and cracked his knuckles. "Bring it on, Little Miss I-Lost-My-Virginity-To-A-Sock." Most of the people in the classroom, including Aelin, snickered, eagerly watching the drama unfold.

"Fuck you," Chaol grunted.

"You wish," Rowan smirked.

Snarling wordlessly, Chaol reared back and punched Rowan right in the stomach, just in time for the teacher to walk in and watch the quarterback punch the captain of the hockey team.

"Westfall!" the teacher yelled, breaking up the fight as soon as it started. "Leave. Now."

"B-but-but sir, he started it!" Chaol protested, stunned.

Mr. Vaughan, who happened to be one of the football coaches, folded his arms across his chest and glared flatly at Chaol. "Get your ass out of my classroom, Westfall. You're lucky if you're allowed to show your face at practice for the next two weeks." His glare only intensified when Chaol tried to protest. "Get. Out."

Biting his tongue, Chaol collected his backpack and hauled ass from the classroom. The class settled down, slowly dispersing back into their seats.

Aelin sat down in the seat across the aisle from Rowan and flashed him a grateful smile. "Thanks," she murmured. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah I did," he returned. "No jackass gets to talk to a girl like that."

"Chivalry? In this day and age?" Aelin mock-gasped. "And here I thought they said chivalry was dead."

"Maybe, but decency isn't." Rowan flashed her a boyish grin. "Oh, and I may or may not have asked one of my buddies to film that. He says it's already going viral."

Aelin had to clamp her hands over her mouth to smother her laughter. "Shit, I love that! I'll duet it to my account so it never dies."

Needless to say, Chaol Westfall became the face of every Orynth High meme for the next two years. Aelin called it comeuppance. And a little help from her good friend the internet.

~~~

TAGS:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@chronicchthonic14

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 27/04/2024

The Streamer

Season 6 No Album Release (Read More)

Ripper Unknown

I'll admit - maybe declaring Season 8 as being the YEAR OF THE MEAT !!! back in ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo was...a bit rash. Meatposting has definitely slowed down a fair bit recently, and there's a lot of other new channel jokes getting well-deserved spotlight over it. And really, I Show The Meat always had a bit of an unfair advantage as a channel meme - because its a bit built on a streamer whose presence online is so huge, it had wormed its way into rips as far back as 2022. IShowSpeed is far more than just his meat, and The Streamer is perhaps to date still the funniest rip to date that he's starred in.

Now, yes, The Streamer wasn't the first rip to use Speed on the channel (even though I made that mistake earlier!!), but it WAS the first Speed rip to truly stick with me, the first one that truly checked every box for me. Granted, I am very biased toward YTPMVs using stupid sources, I think my affection for Going Somewhere Jerma?, Mr. PACs ~ Obamjo-Roomnie, Crompton Racing and more has made that all-too-apparent, but...The Streamer just feels like the most perfect distillation of Speed you could put into a rip. I mentioned in ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo that it was the Talking Ben stream that made me aware of the guy's antics, and the way this rip plays out leverages that whole stream all too perfectly in so many ways, althewhile being paired to the most classic of classic shenanigans music in The Entertainer. The buildup to the song's start may honestly be the funniest part of the whole rip, the piano roll leading into the main melody is accompanied by a clip of Speed just chatting shit about Ben - then with the perfect comedic timing of being shushed to him, Speed's iconic rage is unleashed and the rip - and The Entertainer's melody in tow - kick into gear. The sheer juxtaposition from second one to second five of the rip is just fucking hilarious, and its juxtaposition that keeps the rip entertaining throughout, through the contrast in Speed's YTPMV-mixed rage and the outright whimsy of the piano music backing it all.

That contrast is funny in its own right, it's a lot like what I described My Dr. Eggman Can't Be This Evil! as doing well, but The Streamer goes through another phase to play off of The Entertainer's second half. Speed stops being YTPMV'd into the melody, instead being used through mashing up the song with his own original release Bounce That A$$ - althewhile Talking Ben's own voice clips become used for the YTPMVing. As a self-admitted IShowSpeed tourist I obviously have very little connection or knowledge of Bounce that A$$, but its presence here hardly hurts the rip, it's an incredibly welcome shake-up (hehe) that allows Ben's own voice clips to enter the rip really seamlessly. And what I love is that the rip pretends to loop right after this section, when the most recognizable part of The Entertainer's melody return and its covered much the same as the beginning of the rip - only now, Talking Ben's "Yeees?" and "Ughh"-s are added to the song's backing, almost like a bassline to the same melody played at the start. In less than a minute's time it makes the rip really come full circle, and after one more Bounce That A$$ section, it finally loops proper, ending with a completely different left-field Speed reaction that I shan't spoil, but caps the rip off perfectly for a second loop.

What a journey to go through it all step-by-step, huh? And again - this was the FIRST IShowSpeed rip on the channel, yet it still managed to craft an absolutely hilarious rollercoaster ride in just under 80 seconds of runtime. We ALL know The Entertainer and have heard it set to many a silly clips already, many of us were likely already laughing our asses off at the Speed clips being shared around back in 2022 - The Streamer, much like Bowser is Coming., is like a perfect rip, the absolute ideal way to introduce depict Speed on the channel - and its damn criminal that I don't know who to thank for making it. It's the kind of rip that can just always make me smile, the way that even through the YTPMVing you can still hear what profanities Speed is throwing out at Ben, the way the visuals in both sections are just filled with such pure chaos versus how The Entertainer is chugging along at its own steady pace, the aforementioned BEN BASSLINE????

Look, I'm still a soldier for I Show The Meat to the bitter end - but to make the perfect meatpost, a la i show rottytops my meat (Consensually) mentioned at the end of ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo - one must have a perfect understanding of how to leverage Speed himself in rips. All of that training and knowledge stems from a source - from The Streamer executing the bit so fucking perfectly two whole years ago. Meat or not, Speedposting has become a true artform on SiIva, and I cannot wait to see where it ends up going as we get further in the season.

[mtel420]

Counter-Exposing Banjo/Tiredite/Lunar Moonyu/Lunar Cheese - Part 2

If you want the whole backstory- https://www.tumblr.com/htcsense5/732278019975151616/counter-exposing-banjotireditelunar-moonyulunar?source=share

Hey guys.

NKYT here.

As you guys know in October, we have exposed banjo for her past self for trying to expose arsik and since our expose did nothing to her, i deciced to speak on my side of my interactions with her that i had back in July 2021 - January 2022 with banjo before i disappeared because of her (we will get to that later on). So i guess let's start with the story..

After the March-June war was declared, i gave banjo a second chance, because i thought she truly changed and won't do those mistakes again but unfortunately, we were all wrong….

In the end of July 2021, things started to get worse because i saw David saying "binoi sucks" and i instantely sended that to my now ex-friend banjo and she wanted me to ask him "is that a joke?". And from there on, people, including my friends thought i was choosing her side, which would come to appearant when she stole me from my friends in August 2021 with some weird ass love message. And everything after that my career was gonna go downhill.

In September 2021, she began going "me mad" over David, doing his series of "Live streams for phones" when i was featured. She started accusing me of her being disappointed of David and then me like YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA IGNORE VCS WHAT IS THIS???

Then things will get worse when in October 2021, banjo started using "gay jokes" on David for vcing with me which i wasnt ok with her making those jokes to both of us, but she kept going.

In November 2021, it got even worse when she heavily continued calling david gay and thinking of drawing a ship between me and david because we were just only vcing. She was also saying things like "imaging saying gay things to him" and shockingly "imma burn david for being gay" showing homophobia, which is pretty ironic since now in 2023 she became pansexual.

She has already stolen me from my friends but things will get even worse in December 2021, specifically on December 31st 2021 8:28 PM. Hours prior to that, banjo started to get me into Touhou characters by guessing them in what we call her stupid edition server, also known as "The Mayakou Server" thing. While i was already doing the things banjo told me to do, my friends started posting some memes in that bot guessing channel and then something in my brain was like they were trolling me so i sent a meme that had a guy reading a book said "how to deal with idiots" or something like that i dont remember. And then the worst happened. Arsik blocked me shortly after that and there was exchanges between me and my friends.

It makes me sad to know that banjo made me hate my own friends, my own community, the people that made me successful, and i blew it all out because of that one whore. People after that started to hate me for choosing banjo and for insulting one of my best friends over some petty drama. I was already cancelled because of the drama i had with my friends thanks to banjo and in the result that made me quit all social media on January 15th 2022.

When i was out of Discord by that time, i was on still on David's streams and then banjo saw that and started harassing David for being "gay" because he made me alive (umm what?) and she tried to revealed his full name.

11 months later, i would finally apologise for all of the wrong things that i've done in the community and thankfully everyone gave me another chance. 2 days after i returned to Discord (26th of December 2022), Banjo would try to friend me on my new account, but i've ignored it, because if i have accepted her again, everything would have gone downhill just like in December 2021.

Anyways we wouldn’t get any updates from her until February 11th when a weird account by the name of "私について読んでください#4082" sent me a friend request that had a pastebin link which at first didn’t work. But after it got edited to work, it was clear that banjo was again trying to apologise to us and get us back, but we declined it.

Then on April 2nd, Banjo would try to friend me again on her main account, this time with her about me page being "nick i only came to talk to you" which i was suspicious what was she going to talk about so this time i accepted it to see what she wanted to say and a day later, i got a response by her and again SHE WANTED TO APOLOGISE. sigh. So i told her that "it’s impossible to move on to another chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one" and blocked her after that.

Things would finally go back to normal after she stopped trying to get us back, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the end. On June 9th 2023, Banjo again tried to get me to respond on Instagram by her saying that she can’t forget me and that when she sees a bulgarian person, it reminds her of me for some reason (like why?). But anyways, i didn’t bother responding to her so i ghosted her.

But then on July 3rd, i wanted to talk to Banjo for the last time, because she was mentioning our names and i wanted to put an end to this, by saying that she needs to keep our names out of her mouth.

She was like "ok, i will move on for real" on my dms, but in reality, the next day (4th of July), she says that we are ignorant like wtf and wanted to be racist by saying that she wants to be a bulgarianphobe and supporting Macedonia. She was saying such nasty things even after i told her to stop, but nothing help, same thing on August 20th (our next confrontation, this time in a gc), nothing helped.

Like imagine hating a WHOLE country only because your crush rejected you like wtaf💀.

And here we are on August 20th 2023. A day prior to that, she tried to befriend our friend and owner of Project Mobile "Gunbo" who actually accepted her friend request which prompted us to tell him to add us to a group with her so we could tell her to just leave us alone for the last time, but while she was like "I will try i will try" she once again was mentioning her drama with us and referred to us as "the nkits" so yeah, nothing helped.

And then here comes October 22nd, 2023 when a guy attacked servers Arsik was in with an exposé of him, in it banjo’s tried to expose our good friend Arsik for him acting sexually to banjo when in reality arsik was 11 and banjo was 13, and she even thought that arsik was 10. And also she purposely hid her name so that people wouldn’t hate her for erping with a 10 year old. So we fought back with our expose which people called "baby drama". And this is where i lost it. HOW CAN YOU CALL ALL OF THIS TRAUMA THAT WE HAD TO SUFFER BABY DRAMA??

Anyways before i go off more, i just want to say that this drama isnt baby drama. This is serious shit that people need into, by taking a look at our exposés against banjo and realise that this is all serious and we aren’t joking around, but sadly banjo didn’t get cancelled over our exposé and people were still supporting her, despite the expose that arsik made being already public, but no one gave a damn sadly. But here i am shining the light on the fact that banjo is an full-on creep who sexualises minors and hypnotises her friends into being on her side.

And now comes December 16th 2023. The day we joined the Java-oriented server "Kahvibreak". We wanted to join with my friend because we were interested in java preservation too, but we knew that banjo was there thought we joined nonetheless since it’s a good server. And hours later, banjo saw that we were in the server and she went "baiii my enemies are here" which made the people in kahvibreak become suspicious that we came to harass her, when in reality, we didn’t want to harass anyone. Soon after she left, she changed her Discord name to "JUST DESTROY ME.." to now "A....". (update: she has returned. no surprise)

So yeah this is the whole story of my own point of view of what is like to be friends with a creep and a nsfw artist. And to everyone who is reading this. It's best to avoid any interactions with Banjo because she is a manipulator and a creep that has been known by our community, but despite that she wanted to return after we told her to move on, but as of now she’s trying to join other corners of our community, never missing the opportunity to say something about us and how we cancelled her and whatnot. It's crazy that people like banjo exist and makes me furious that people call our drama childish. Like can you just take a quick second to see that this is very real and serious? Banjo traumatised us with her explicit art and it’s not a joke. Anyways, i hope we can spread this message across our community and her community so people could very well know her backstory and why they should not be friends with banjo.

Banjo is an attention seeker who would do anything to bring light to her dying career, including in some rather shady ways. She’s using her past for attention and it’s rather pathetic.

Anyways, im working on a folder called "Banjo's Hellhole" which includes all of her moments and once the project gets finished, i will provide a Google Drive link for it so you can guys get a better look at her. But for now, that's all that i have to say about her.

Thank you all for reading this and Fuck You Banjo!😉

[thebluestbluewords]

*Insert Pingu card meme here*

Not quite a Valentine's day fic, but something like one, maybe. Mal & Carlos, shippy if you squint. ~1600 words.

&lt;3

“Valentine’s is…fun.” Carlos says doubtfully. 

“That’s what literally everyone says, yeah.” Mal repeats. “Fun. Because it’s a day about feelings.  And people here like to talk about their feelings.” 

“And it’s fun.” Carlos echoes back, sounding even more mystified about the whole concept. “Having feelings.” 

Mal has lots of fun feelings. She has rage, and anger, and sometimes a terrible hot feeling that bubbles up in her chest and makes her want to scream until everyone around her runs away forever and leaves her alone to die. “Look, I don’t know. Evie told me today that everyone here says it’s fun, and we need to make sure we’re not sticking out. And all the girls in third period were talking about how they’re so excited to tell everyone how much they love them, and Audrey was all, like, ‘buy your Valentine’s chocolate from the SGA table to support my school wide empire on fun’ and honestly I sort of tuned out after she started talking so I don’t actually know if there’s anything else to this stupid holiday.” 

Carlos makes a face that might be trying not to laugh. Or possibly trying not to sneeze. It’s hard to tell. “You heard that there’s feelings, and chocolate, and a chance to humiliate Audrey, and decided that obviously we have to make it a magical day for everyone?” 

Mal also heard that there’s going to be a chocolate fountain at lunch in honor of the holiday, but she’s keeping that part to herself for now. “Pretty much,” she agrees. “Throw me the glue.” 

“Do we get chocolate?” Carlos asks as he stretches up to pass Mal the glue. It means that he has to let go of one side of the ladder, which doesn’t feel entirely great from Mal’s vantage point standing on the tips of her toes on the very top step, but it’s fine. If she falls off at least she won’t have to go to class tomorrow. 

“Of course that’s the part you focus on,” Mal huffs, stretching down to snag the bottle of glue from his fingertips. “And yes, if you’re a very good little boy, we can steal Audrey’s student government chocolate as soon as her back is turned.” 

“I could take offense at that,” Carlos says slowly, returning to his place at the base of the ladder. “I could take it by myself and not share any with you.” 

“But you won’t,” Mal sing-songs, spreading a thin layer of glue over the blades of the classroom fan. Details are essential in wicked schemes, and she didn’t earn an A- in Scheming and Wickedness because she forgot the details, like making sure her magical mess is going to be a maximum pain in the royal behind to clean up. “Because you—Hey!” 

The base of the ladder wobbles again, just for an instant. 

Carlos looks up at her, face blank and innocent. “Did you need something?” 

Ugh, boys. 

“You undying devotion to the cause,” Mal snaps, shaking the bottle of glue in a vaguely threatening manner. “And your support on the base of this death trap, come on. If I fall off this ladder and break my neck I’m going to tell everyone you’re the one responsible for this.” 

“I’m already an accessory to your crime,” Carlos says placidly, but he’s holding on to the ladder again, so it really doesn’t matter what he thinks about the supposed legal system of Auradon Prep. Accessories to crime aren’t real when you’re a student, which Mal knows, because she’s read the student handbook. All students involved in mischief share punishment equally, in some sort of attempt at teaching them fairness that’s more misguided than the maps in wonderland.  “I don’t think a broken neck is really a likely outcome at this point anyway. And if you do break your neck from falling six feet down, I’ll just get all of the chocolate that would have been yours anyway. Really a win for me either way.” 

Mal will not laugh at her brilliant, wicked boy. Laughing will only encourage this sort of smart-ass behavior in the future, and as a leader in her school community, she is a pillar for goodness and upright moral behavior. 

Also, she’s afraid that if she laughs the ladder is going to break.  “Shut up and hold my ladder. If we make it through this alive I’ll get you your very own chocolate later. Legally gained.” 

Carlos, safe on the ground, does laugh. “Ugh, why?” he asks seriously. “Stolen food tastes better.” 

“Obviously,” Mal agrees. She’s actually going to murder someone over the stupid glue bottle designs. Stupid middle schoolers. If they hadn’t been caught doing glue shots at the back of the art classroom, Fairy Godmother wouldn’t have banned full size bottles from campus, and she wouldn’t be in this situation at all right now.  “But it’s not a very good gift if it’s stolen. I’m a good and moral citizen now, haven’t you heard?” 

“What if I’m evil and only take bribes in the form of stolen goods?” 

Mal throws up her hands, and the glue bottle with them. The thing stays firmly attached to her fingers. At least the glue inside it works, even if the bottle is a useless tiny piece of junk. “Fine then! But I’m taking it from Audrey, and you’re not getting it because of the holiday. I’m getting you chocolate because you’re a manipulative little rat bastard who is coercing me into acting as an accessory to your crimes.” 

Carlos grins. “Sure, keep telling yourself that, Malfeasance. Are you ready for the next bottle yet?” 

Mal plucks the glue bottle off her left hand and beans it down at his stupidly cute little curly head. “Yes. Step two, engage.” 

The industrial sized bottle of glitter was worryingly easy to procure. One little call to the craft supply warehouse, one school identification number from the back of their art textbooks, and a few little white lies later, five bottles of pastel pink glitter arrived in an unmarked package to Mal’s student locker. It’s really a security risk, how trusting the mailroom staff can be. She’s practically doing the school a favor. After this they’ll have to assess the contents of each and every package that all the students receive, and the mailroom staff will have more work to do. She’s creating jobs tonight, which is a good thing for the economy. Or something. Maybe if Economics wasn’t her final class of the day, and the classroom wasn’t so warm and comfortable for napping in, she would actually care. 

Whatever. Mal’s actions here tonight are an overall act of goodness that will increase the safety of the student population and therefore what she’s doing is a correct and proper thing and Fairy Godmother won’t be able to give her any crap about it later. 

Also, it’s going to be funny as hell to watch the glitter rain down the moment the fans turn on. 

“I think this one might be done!” Carlos calls up, coughing glitter out of his mouth. It’s possible that Mal could have been a little bit more careful with her placement. “If you wanna get down so I can move the ladder, I can take the bottle. Y’know, before you cover the floor too.” 

Mal flicks her final handful down over him, just for evil measure. 

“I think you’re done,” she calls back, shoving the cap back on the glitter bottle and dropping it down in the general direction of the floor. “With. Life.” 

“Ow,” Carlos calls back, voice completely flat. He catches the bottle that she’s dropped down to him though, which counts for a lot. “You’re not as cool as you think you are, dragon breath.” 

“I’m going to dump the leftovers of this in your shoes,” Mal says cheerfully, hopping down from the ladder now that the fan is fully coated, and there’s no longer glitter resting precariously below her feet. “You’re going to track it everywhere you go for months on end. The teachers are all going to know exactly where you’ve been each day and you’ll never be able to get it out of the treads.” 

“You would not.” 

“Would so!” Mal says brightly. “You’ve been getting too soft if you think I won’t.” 

Carlos rolls his eyes, but he’s already hefting the ladder up to move it to the next ceiling fan, so he can’t be too bothered.  “You won’t,” he says confidently. “Because we’re going to dump the leftovers through the slots on those lockers right by the second floor bathrooms.” 

Ooh, now there’s a thought Mal can get behind.

Next fan. Ladder down. Mal steps up. 

 “You’re thinking of the ones who won’t move their shit out of the hallway to let people by, right,” she asks, just to be sure. Details are essential, after all. “The same ones who clutch their little pink purses when we walk by? Not the ones by the stairs who won’t shut up about how we’re the downfall of proper society?” 

“Those’re the ones.” Carlos agrees. “The purse clutching feels worse somehow. Like, we’re not going to grab it out of their hands.” 

“Right.” 

“We’d totally steal their locker codes instead. Can’t fit a laptop in a purse, and I could use more scrap parts.” 

That’s it. 

“I’m rationing this so we can hit the ones on the third floor too,” Mal says, shaking the bottle of glitter with what she sincerely hopes is a menacing sort of look. She’s rusty. There’s not nearly enough chances for a proper wicked monologue at Auradon Prep. “You’re spared from the glittering for now, furball, but only because I’ve found a more deserving victim, not because you deserve better.” 

Carlos laughs. There’s glitter all over his face now, raining down from the handful that Mal threw into his hair, and he looks happier than… 

Happier than he’s been in a long time. 

Maybe there’s something to this whole valentine’s thing after all.

[saturns-ringg]

ok guys.... hear me out... modern lotf au I'll explain thingys here!! its an au me and my friend (IM TAGGING YOU SILLY GUY: @fruityahhbread) created (but im like sharing what I think hehe) , so all of these are basically headcanons!! (btw, I decided to age them all up to 15-16-17 because sort of a hs au) (AND IN THIS AU WE'RE REFUSING TO BELIEVE SIMON AND PIGGY DIED IK, WEIRD.) simon: -mitski stan -they/them/he -has braces -that one kid who was really weird in middle school -🏳️‍🌈 -filipino -autistic yippee creature -his mom is single (AND PROBABLY GAY ‼️) -cottagecore/softcore aesthetic -15 -5'3 (shorrttt) -dating roger roger: -🏳️‍⚧️and pan -gets called emo but really isn't -literally HOMOcidal -happy only with simon -abusive dad -very good fashion sense -grunge-y aesthetic -poc -16 -5'9 -dating simon (ofc) jack merribitch: -bi -theater kid -literally a whore or wholesome no inbetween -his intrusive thoughts won on the island -wears I <3 MILF/DILF shirts (aswell as similar ones) -has the personality of every single redhead ever -pale as paper -feral choir kid -hearing loss </3 also forgets to put hearing aids in alot -adhd -17 (he got held back a grade 😧) -6'2 (TALL) -dating ralph (they're so gay for eachother istg) ralph: -pan -burnt out gifted kid -borrows things but doesn't return them -still a coral island fanboy -"damn daddy" -ADD/OCD vibes -still that goofy ahh golden fair boy -16 -5'9 -dating jack (ofc, he looked at jacks shorts...) maurice: -bi but still makes fun of gay ppl?? -probably laughs at among us jokes and other stupid memes -gets Fs in all his classes because of our beloved adhd -curly ass hair that he doesn't control -annoying af but sometimes is just eepi -kind of pookie -prolly simps for sam -makes fun of everyone -16 -6'0 piggy: -aroace (SLAY) -nerd -also codes -"BUT- MY AUNT SAYS- MY ASTHMA-" -gets bullied :( -has that buzzcut but like, aestheticer if yk what I mean -peter is his true form name -actually really nice -16 -5'7 (short)

[nov4-rocket5]

FNDM will often go, "You need to watch RWBY with an open mind! Why won't you just lower your expectations?" and never actually ask why people expected certain shit from RWBY in the first place.

The show put in loads of time to build up to Qrow vs Ironwood, only for the fight to not happen at all, and had Qrow be a useless sack of dead weight the whole season. To top it all off they had Ironwood get taken out in 40 seconds by irrelevant side characters.

Then the community went, "No! Winter vs Ironwood will happen and it'll be INCREDIBLY emotional!!" only for the actual fight to have no emotion whatsoever, infantilize Winter to high heaven, and then constantly cut away from the fight, further draining any sense of stakes or emotion.

The show has Salem finally get off her lazy ass and show up, making a huge show of it by ending Season 7 on her arrival. Surprise guys! She still does absolutely nothing, has one lousy fight where she doesn't even do anything cool, and then gets blown up like a chump and is irrelevant for the rest of the season. She didn’t even kill anyone. (*insert that one Shrek meme here*)

The show has a whole season of Ironwood being the only interesting character and his slide into antagonist? Sure hope you just want to see him act like a blithering moron making one laughably incompetent decision after another the entire time!

Penny, a beloved fan-favorite character has returned! Hope you enjoy watching her get put her through borderline torture porn, take away all the reasons people loved her in the first place, then have her beg one of the most controversial characters in the show to just murder her!

We finally got Cinder’s cliche and overly sappy and dramatic origin story! And we have her scheming again! Oh yeah, but she doesn't actually change at all and she's still as stupid as ever. She just made characters you actually enjoy watching take the fall for her this time! Hope Cinder’s arc of going in circles is still engaging the third time in a row!

Call my expectations "lofty" and "unrealistic" all you want, I wouldn't have had those expectations if the show hadn't given them to me.

RWBY is a show that consistently sets up high expectations for itself and it's audience. And every single time it ends up choking on what it bites off and wrapping everything up in the most anticlimactic, underwhelming ways possible because CRWBY burned all of their time and money on setting up expectations it can't deliver on anymore.

The irritating part is that instead of just... scaling back on what it's capable of and setting up reasonable expectations (something the School Setting helped with in the Poser Era), RWBY just... keeps on biting off more than it can chew, and it keeps on choking.

[bangchanswolfpelt]

*quietly drops this into ur inbox after like 2 months* part 2 of svt relationships. as a treat

jun + the8:

- SOULMATES PART THREE!!!!!! - sunshiney boy + intelligent book boy but taken to another level - jun seems quiet and unapproachable but is secretly a giant sweetheart and full of love - minghao seems like a good respectful boy but he’s actually a chaotic meme king who’s obsessed with kermit (the number of Minghao Roasting People compilations can attest to this. also see: haunted house gose episode, which is actually what really got me into svt in the first place) - i love these two forever. exasperated mom friend x flirty dreamy friend - it’s junhui running around and being loud and telling really horrible pickup jokes while minghao pretends to be disgusted but is actually cackling on the inside!!! - it’s minghao roasting everyone while jun hovers supportingly on the side!!!! it’s them making fun of each other in the sweetest possible way!! (minghao imitating jun in the talent show gose episode KILLED ME) - not only that, but the trust that these two have in each other, kind of like vernon and joshua but perhaps even more, as people from an unfamiliar country that gave everything to dance on a stage - best way to encapsulate them: the my i performance. The My I Performance. i have nothing else to say woozi + hoshi:

- overexcited extrovert friend + exhausted introvert friend - jihoonie’s so like. tolerantly fond of soonyoung’s shenanigans and it Makes Me Soft - see: that one vlive where he just let hoshi fuck around with his recording equipment - there’s really not much to say here i just love these two and their dynamic - hoshi: going absolutely batshit insane. woozi: on the side with sunglasses and a smoothie

vernon + seungkwan:

- MY CHILDREN. MY DARLINGS. - the Literal Epitome of the “kick his ass baby, i got yo flower” meme - seungkwan is honestly someone i relate to on a like. molecular level. - the man is so chaotic and loud and unrestrained and has ABSOLUTELY no care for his reputation and vernon’s just quietly supporting him in the back and i!!!!!!! - anyways - lowkey one of my favorite relationships to just watch interact with each other without words?? like they’re so at home with each other that they don’t need to act "nice" or be polite and it’s literally so good - i live for the comfortable married-couple energy - also: vernon, when asked during a LIVE CONCERT what his favorite part of seungkwan is: (without hesitation) *slaps seungkwans ass* - a key part of their dynamic: vernon doing something stupid and seungkwan: a) pouting. b) making fun of him. c) joining in. d) all of the above. - alexa play best friend by saweetie i CANT DEAL WITH THESE TWO - unrelated: vernon’s fashion sense and the collective group disdain over makes me cry laugh. like sir please i love you but why do you look like someone took a pride flag and a ufo and put them in a blender booseoksoon:

- CHAOTIC TRIO!!! LIFEBLOOD OF THE GROUP!!!!! blessed blessed blessed - unmatched energy. the vibes alone would incinerate me on the spot - this is a constant cycle of batshit crazy member to the power of three resulting in Shenanigans Never Before Seen - hoshi-hoshi unrelentingly making fun of seungkwan is like my entire life. i can’t even do my little gay wrist limping without thinking of these two anymore (ps seungkwan is my fruity gay boy icon by aesthetic and attitude alone idc if he’s probably straight) the entirety of the svt episode where they all imitate each other is everflowing serotonin for my weak carat heart - seungkwan, in return, having absolutely no qualms to just fucking DECK soonyoungie when he pulls shit is just. top tier content at all times. i LOVE these two the epitome of squabbling siblings who hate each others’ guts but will also combine forces to create one absolute MENACE. mingyu/coups energy but times 100000000000000000 teasing and general chaos - Seokmin My Beloved: an 10 page essay by me - completing the trio with dolphin screams, nonsense sense, and absolutely no concern for his idol image - dk is a sweet sweet boy but if you put him in proximity to the members he just. goes absolutely insane i love him - seokmin uniting factor of booseoksoon u can’t change my mind: bridges gap between seungkwan-hoshi war. hes literally just vibing. king - stream just do it mingyu + seungkwan

- that meme where seungkwan’s about to fight someone and mingyu holds him back. this has happened multiple times. that is all

heheh.

xoxo honey anon 🍯

Jun and Minghao!! i don't give Jun a lot of real estate in my brainspace, but he's such a good sweet boy. the way their initial impressions are so opposite!! and then you get a peek under the surface and they're so different from those initial impression and still so different from each other, and yet!! they fit!!!!

i cannot remember where it is, but somewhere they talked about how they're not sure they would have been friends if they had ended up meeting under circumstances where they needed each other less, but that now they couldn't live without each other and it makes me 😭😭😭

(also. just. do not talk to me about how these thirteen boys were all thrown together and not all of them were compatible or friendly right off the bat, but when they had the choice between being swallowed alive and forgotten by history or figuring out how to not hate each other, they turned themselves into a fuckin family and. i am not crying you're crying 😤😤😤😭)

(also MINGHAO IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE IS SO ICONIC—it was actually the beginning of the end for my roommie in their battle to not slide into the diamond life, too, what a way to go :'] )

Vernon and Seungkwan—the way their mbti's changed to become more similar over time, and the way Seungkwan said Vernon was "cute and small like a puppy" when they met as trainees but now he's grown into a big dog, it all fuckin kills me 😭

my favorite way to describe DK is The Weird Kid in Grade School Who Never Actually Got the Weird Bullied Out of Him, all random impulse zero self-consciousness will do anything to make you laff

[nolanhollogay]

“i can’t keep on making you happy”

[insert gay people break up without ever dating meme]

also warning for them talking about nsfw things at the end (and sunny being a little bitch)

-

It must be stated that Sunny's alcohol tolerance was absolutely god awful. Just completely terrible. He would have three drinks and be completely knocked on his ass by the alcohol. (The girls bullied him relentlessly for it.)

It didn't help that he was friends with the bartender at the club they were at, so his pours were incredibly generous, meaning Sunny was ingesting even more alcohol than usual. It was like the universe was determined to get him absolutely smashed. Not that he was really complaining about it.

All that being said, he was one hundred percent blaming the alcohol for him calling Aki at two in the morning.

-

Sunny woke up to the sun in his eyes and an arm around his waist, which was an incredibly common occurrence for him, so it took him a moment to figure out where he was.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and was rewarded with the blinding white walls of Aki's bedroom. Looking to his left, he was met with the top of Aki's head, pink fuzz and all.

They were both still clothed, Aki in his pajamas and Sunny wearing his jeans from the night before like some kind of heathen. So, nothing happened then. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse for his ego. Yeah, Aki hadn't decided to fuck him while he was drunk of his ass, but that means he just slept in his bed, like some kind of lovestruck pre-teen.

"You look like you're doing math in your head," Aki mumbled, face half buried in Sunny's shoulder. As he woke up more, he tightened his grip around Sunny's waist, making those dreadful little butterflies return. (For about two weeks, Sunny had become increasingly aware of Aki's affect on him, making butterflies swarm in his stomach and his face turn pink. It was humiliating.)

He nodded. He needed to get up and leave before he did something stupid. "Trying to figure out if I want to Uber or make my driver come get me."

Aki grunted as Sunny pushed him away, so he could get up. "You're just gonna leave?"

Sunny turned to look at him in confusion as he looked for his jacket. He was getting sick of losing things in this bedroom. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Do you not remember what we talked about last night?"

Sunny tried to conjure up whatever they could've spoken about, but was met with nothing. "... No?"

Aki sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Well, you called me at two in the morning and begged me to pick you up from the bar because you didn't want to go to your empty house."

"That doesn't sound like me at all," Sunny said, now trying very hard to look for his jacket. The quicker he found it, the quicker he could leave. He really didn't need to know what his drunk self had said. That guy obviously had no self preservation.

Aki laughed, but it was short and more of a half annoyed huff then a real laugh. "You said that you liked me. That I made you happy. And then you kissed me, like properly kissed me. Then you fell asleep."

Drunk Sunny needed to be shot in the street.

Crossing his arms over his chest, as if that would shield him from vulnerability, he said, "Well, I was drunk. I was just saying things. Feel free to disregard them and anything else I may have said."

"Why do you always do this?" Aki asked, with a sigh.

Sunny raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

"Every time you admit that you like me, you take it back."

That sentence felt like a slap to the face. Sunny nearly flinched.

"A boy isn't allowed to change his mind?" Aki didn't laugh at the joke and Sunny rolled his eyes. "What do you want me to say, Menzies? That you're the apple of my eye? That you make me happy? Let's be real here. We both know what we're doing when we hook up."

Aki scoffed. "You didn't call me last night to hook up. At least listen to yourself, Sunwoo. Be real."

Sunny hated him so much. More than he'd hated anyone in his life, and he hated a lot of people. "Fine. I'll be real. The only part of you that makes me happy is your dick. I can't stand any other part of you. You're insufferable and too tall and you have no backbone. Why would I like you when you have no personality and have nothing to offer me?"

"Fine," Aki said, not even bothering to fight back.

Sunny couldn't stop the confusion from leaking into his voice. "Fine?"

Why wasn't he fighting back? He always fought back. That was their whole thing.

"If me fucking you is the only way I'll make you happy, then I can't keep on making you happy," Aki said with a shrug. "You can go be miserable alone, because I'm not going to let you keep stringing me along."

There was a finality in his voice that made Sunny want to punch him in the face. He couldn't just leave him alone. That wasn't how this worked. Sunny didn't get left, he was the one to leave.

"Okay," was all he could muster up in response – and fuck Aki for always being the one to make him lose his words – "Have it your way, Menzies."

-

In the end, he decided to walk home, shivering without his jacket, and praying that fucking Gossip Girl wasn't around to see him cry.

[minetteskvareninova]

Minette watches Medici, part 9 (Old Scores)

- Yes, my friends, the triumphant return of Minette watches Medici is here! The series that noone liked, Minette least of all... Like, you thought reading it was painful?! Try writing this shit!

- Okay, first off, the theme song - FUCK the theme song. Either reuse Renessaince, or don’t. Do NOT fucking cheat by using its inferior knockoff. Understood?!

- The characters aren’t good enough for me to fall in love with, but I still Vibe with them in general. Except for Lorenzo, who is hot, smart and in general a veritable boyfriend material - well, except for the whole “banging a married woman” thing, but it’s renessaince Italy, people are having extramarital shags left and right, we can’t go all Savanarola on their asses, not when real Savanarola is just around the corner...

- Speaking of clergy! My stupid ass mistook Piero for some kind of family priest. Would the Medici even have a family priest at this point? Like, maybe, they were of course loaded and their household might’ve been big enough to warrant it...

- The evil Pazzi brother has a strong “if villain evil why hot” energy. What can I say? Minette loves herself some good cheekbones, and I strongly suspect this guy is going to be the old Albizzi of this season. Helps that his most evil act so far was beating the shit out of Giuliano, and I personally don’t care about Giuliano.

- The most thrilling subplot of this season is “did Sean Bean keep true to his vow to stop feeding the meme machine and never ever take another role where he dies?”. Also, Ned Stark did NOT age well. Which, okay, he’s not there to be hot, and his show son is hot enough to cover the raging unsexyness of not only his father, but also his stupid brother.

- Speaking of! Lucrezia’s boyfriend is apparently played by Halbrand from The Rings of Power. Yes, the man meant to be Sexy Sauron that doesn’t end up being all that sexy. Honestly, I cannot fathom how the producers over there at Amazon looked at this show and were like “why, yes, wouldn’t EVERYONE be tempted to join the dark side by this hot piece of ass?”. Like, no, I personally wouldn’t be tempted into a game of spin the bottle. Baby Pazzi’s personality doesn’t help any, like him and Lucrezia are just Mehmet Giray and Fahriye hardboiled without salt. I mean, it is just the first episode, so maybe they get better later, but still.

- “We raised Sandro as our own” - NO. Show, I am willing to swallow anything, but do not try to convince me the Medici family has taken in Sandro Boticelli of all people as their ward. From now on, I am just pretending this is some kind of Lorenzo’s artist buddy, who just happens to be named Alessandro, and very much not the author of The Birth Of Venus and Primavera.

- Political stuff is still the best part of this show bar none. Just... A+++ out of the gate, no notes. “Did the Pazzi family orchestrate the attack?” may not be as exciting a premise as “Who killed old Giovanni?” (or “is Sean Bean going to die again?”), and probably doesn’t have an answer that interesting, but it still gives some juicy, juicy drama. Though if the whole thing was orchestrated by the guy who wanted to marry his son to Lucrezia, I will get pretty mad at the blatant ripoff of the last season, where a third party also turns out to be the real villain.

- One annoying thing that persists (and if anything seems to have only gotten worse) is the attempt to whitewash the Medici family. Like, I get that we want to add layers(tm) and likeability(tm), but the show’s attempts to pretend they are anything but ruthless protocapitalists trying to make their way in an oligarchical political system do sometimes go way too far. Lorenzo is already hot and smart, I won’t get mad if he isn’t also perfectly good and saintly and shit.

- Contessina had a cameo in this episode! Yay! Also, I wonder if Piero’s second daughter appears in the show; I mean, she doesn’t have to, considering she was already married at this point, but you know. It would be nice.

- Overall a nice return to form, no big complaints from me so far...

[the-firebird69]

We went into this meeting and it's Cape Coral and it was the council people who shouldn't be in there as council people and we went through everything they're doing everything every single stupid comment and every code piece and everything that they said and I put it all together and looked at as a big puzzle put their plan in there and we said this these people are still a cohesive force and they're discounted and being discounted and they like it but boy they loud and rude and people go after them for but that's part of their program so we went ahead and study the s*** out of it and we put them a notice that they are not to do what they're doing to our son and they said no we do it we want cuz I said says you'll be dead and they said b******* I said well you end up dead all the time and he said we're going to do it anyways I said we're going to kill you anyways. She started hitting him and we're taking your stuff and we're ruining their ass tonight and we're pulling them out and that started and we're doing it again until you guys are done cuz you're so damned rude and nasty and your plan is stupid for our son and we don't want him near you at all and soon you won't be because you'll be dead. And we found out what they're doing in Florida they're sitting on all these contracts that Mac released for people to do and they're ruining everybody's day and they're saying that they can do what they want and so forth. And they're messing around with contracts and contractors who are down here even their own telling them not to do anything and they're saying they're at War and they're from Australia and they're from New Zealand so we started pulling them out again and arresting them based on that we have confessions from them and we're going to go after them until they don't return because they're demented and they're retarded and they're sick and do things that nobody else does and that's why we're going to do it. It was a very good lesson because he's saying I need to try and get through to you and I can't do anything I can't get anything I can't go anywhere I can't really talk to people that much and the people I talk to are clueless and they just sit here insulting me like this puts the fake Japanese guy and this idiot saying he's my brother cuz he doesn't look anything like him his head small and he's mean and other people they bring up citizens Bank I mean every channel I turn to as some a****** comment you know they didn't want to sit there with the Partridge family and trying to scare me down like all saying stupid crap or not I say isn't it happens with every single channel that I return to they're saying the stupid s*** and they're doing dumb things including Tommy f I said do you guys understand at all what the price is like 10 minutes after you f****** leave your stupid f****** insult stupid f****** rant you understand what you're giving up to do that stupid s*** to me at all in any way but that would be why I continue doing it but I know is most of you will be dead in a few minutes for doing this routine and f******* is like I'm bowing like you probably are cuz you'll be dead so they keep doing it and they keep on smirking and sending it to him probably once every 10 seconds at least and people need to shut them up and not make them look good but keep their s*** to themselves I need you a very time they do it doing it all they need to have someone come and smash their head into their body and I do have the capabilityhe says to the last b**** if you don't shut up your dead meme and she didn't we killed her and said there's your reward and he seen it now so you have to kill you again. You're going to die horrible dance horrible this guy here is lawyer firm should die too sitting harassing our son he said we're going to send lawyers after you I'm going to hold you to every point of law and you're such sinners it's so easy to cut you down and you're bothering me and I told you not to pretty soon you're going to fall so you're trying to do quality commercials.

So Tommy answers less stupid and he really is and said I can't do anything about them they keep doing it to me and I despise them for it. And they're doing it on screen at every single opportunity and I don't know why they're being so stupid they don't usually do it but the holy s*** are they f****** annoying so I sat down and watched him and then I asked him why they're doing that sop is there about to leave Earth listen with what and said with our ships I said no that's not possible I told John remillard what I'm doing he goes with your ships and I said no I have my keys you don't have them I said we have a whole bunch of them I said those are not my keys those are gorgeos I took. Looks at me blankly and says we're going off talking about all this s*** and we have George's keys I said I said that a million times to you dumb f*** you f****** deaf piece of s*** so he finally looks away and he says I don't have anything I can do except trying for the keys I said you can't even lift them and that's his point you're just spewing loser just sit there spewing this dumb f****** s*** and there's a plan you have to block this and do that and it's not even going to happen it's not even necessary cuz that stone is very hard and you're such a f****** moron these things on things that aren't going to happen. So I started it on him here and it keeps on blabbing and blabbing he says he's going to use the other shoes to get those shoes to get big and all this other stuff and I said you haven't done any of you yet but your mouth is open telling everybody what you going to do and you don't even have anything yet and you have the money and everyone's killing you and you can't stop them from having you do it it's so awful so he just keeps blaming and it's true so you have to go after him to shut them up.

Stan and Biden are under attack and they're coming down hard on them and soon will be all dead and yeah they have half the firepower necessary the other half is by Mac Daddy who's going to kill you anyways. So they try and get the starkiller now but right now they're doing nothing but sitting there pissing people off. Now these guys get it said you understand you're not to be doing all this s*** cuz people do this to you it's not me and you're saying it's me and you're stupid. So the guy is in the back seat it says you hear me now right and it looks like Tommy f but really seems like it's Trump trying to depending on him but this is what I'm saying we know what you're doing and we know how to get you to do stuff and all this s*** you're trying to threaten me all the time with it but we say don't do this we'll set you up you f****** dick octoman you understand that you don't know the technology or just set you up dark a****** man. So he starts blaming it's okay we'll start killing your people off. That was bunch of you that don't understand this it's very simple we're killing you in ways that you can't figure out apparently but Stan is hitting you and he's sitting in your bases and it's leveling what you have and he started mouthing off again and you just hit the girl and he hit a clan it's pretty big it's part of bja and about 10 billion people came down the road started wiping them out and saying they had me it wasn't and it was this idiot Trump again.

The attacks are vicious and getting bigger and bigger because everyone wants to shut you the hell up

Thor Freya

[dr4kenlvr]

soft baji headcanons ♡

pairing: baji keisuke x gn!reader

genre: pure fluff

request: Hii can u do soft baji headcanons????

warnings: swearing!!

a/n: heyy, thanks for requesting more baji hehe i love the guy. if you guys want, you can read my dating baji headcanons before this! i suppose its sort of a continuation <3.

baji is nothing short of a loyal person, friend, boyfriend, you name it

once he's committed to a relationship of any sort, he's committed and it's gonna take a lot to make him back off

he'll do anything for you, because you're the person who he was able to confide in, to let down that tough barrier with, to love

now, its definite baji likes it when you play with his hair

he'll let you tie it, braid it, or just twirl it around your finger, hell even give him a massage while you're at it!

if you decide to stylize it some way or another, baji won't take it out unless he really needs to- he'll wear it to toman meetings and get some stares and giggles

he growls at them till they stop

when the two of you are chilling on a couch or whatever, he'll return the favour and rake his fingers through your hair gingerly, smiling gently when you melt into his touch

baji likes to hold onto your waist a lot, it kind of comes naturally to him you know?

you'll just be standing there talking to someone, and he'll pop up to wrap an arm or two around you

he won't even interrupt your conversation, just absentmindedly holds you while paying attention to other things around him

your friends are use to his antics, and don't mind him because they know he means no harm

when you're alone however, whether you'd be cooking or cleaning the room, baji'll give you a big bear hug from behind

he'll peck your head, cheeks then lips and give you a smug grin when you react in any way

so, baji's favourite way to "hold hands" is an arm slung around your waist or shoulders :D

you like to link pinkies with him in public but he retorts with a "that's too cutesy y/n!- hey, why'd you let go?!" and proceeds to link pinkies with you again

ugh he's so annoying

random, but when you go shopping you'll every now and then buy a pack of hair ties for him because he keeps whining about breaking them

so when you give them to him, he feels so loved and appreciated that you remembered, and thought about him on your trip out

when you two are away from one another, baji often sends you ugly memes and videos that are attached with a messages ranging from "this is u <3" to "YOU LMFAAOASAJS STUPID ASS"

his most used emojis are the skull, and the sideways laughing one because this is baji we're talking about

dates occur pretty often, because simply hanging out is a date to you two

sometimes you'll get ice cream, go to the park or head over to his place to finish a project he slept on

chifuyu likes to join too! baji's like "im glad you're here bro, but since you are you and y/n need to help me finish this assignment."

"alright, when is it due?"

"last week."

"LAST WEEK?" - you and chifuyu, simultaneously

this mf is like.. "yeah? what? stop staring at me like that, fuck!"

speaking of staring, baji likes to stare at you too

he finds you so attractive, he can't help himself

chifuyu and draken make fun of him but he brushes them off with a "FUCK YOU!" before blushing and turning away

he pouts a lot too, but you pinch his cheek before giving him attention anyways

when he's out with the gang, he always boasts about you, like always

mikey just smiles and nods, happy for his friend

draken laughs at pah who's groaning in jealousy

takemitchi also tells his fair share of stories about hina before baij shuts him up saying he's not done talking

CHIFUYU DIES AT THE LOOK ON TAKEMITCHI'S FACE LMAO

he's just like :o

anyways, baji is an amazing significant other, literally ken wakui said so himself ("top 3 lovers" in the official tokyo revengers character book)

he loves and cares for you so so much, theres not a big enough number that could amount to it <3

[thesolferino]

True Calling

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ word count: 3.9k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream meets his favorite singer on an among us livestream.

“Dude, what could go wrong? Just do it.”

“What could go wrong?! Literally so many things, you ass.” 

Dream heard Sapnap sigh through the mic right into his headphones, the dim grey of his Discord background doing barely anything to illuminate his features as he stared at his open messages blankly.

“First of all, don’t.. speak to me like that, I am doing you a favour by sitting here and listening to you panic about stupid shit. Second of all, nothing big could go wrong. What, you’re a little awkward in the beginning, maybe, and that’s it.” Dream adjusted his headphones a little bit, Sapnap’s rant flowing into his ears but dissipating somewhere halfway to his brain, because, yes, things could go wrong and he can’t be proven otherwise.

“Did you forget that I’m a public figure? And that my fans are insane? I say one wrong thing and it’ll be memed and haunt me in my dreams. Did you forget that SHE’s a public figure? And that this is live? God…” he retorts back, listening to Sapnap helplessly sigh once again in response. He anxiously switches from his Discord to Twitter, then to YouTube, to Twitch and then back to Discord, frantically clicking around. In reality, he knows Sapnap is right, and it’s anxiety whispering into his ear that he’s gonna somehow fuck up, but maybe it’s simply easier to stay and argue with him into the night instead of actually responding to that message.

The stream is still going. Quackity’s voice speaks over Sapnap’s quiet breathing. “Damn, he’s still not responding. Um, let me try Tubbo, maybe?” 

Before he knows it, the opportunity to join the stream is slipping out of his fingers, and Dream isn’t sure if he’s happy about that or not. On one hand, he gets to meet one of his favorite artists whose album he’s played way too many times to count, and on the other, the chances of him embarrassing himself in front of that same artist and a hundred thousand other people are extremely high, and he’s not sure if he likes the odds of that.

“Man, I don’t know. You won’t listen to me, anyway. Don’t join if you don’t want to.” Dream hears the annoyed tinge in Sapnap’s voice, and that’s what pours the last bit of courage into his veins because the best way to do anything in life is to follow Sapnap’s advice after you’ve already irritated him to the point of defeat, and he murmurs a quick “bye” and hangs up before the other can even respond, typing a rapid “Sure, send me the VC link” back to Quackity. 

He hears a delighted exhale coming from his Twitch tab just as Quackity forwards him the link. “Okay, nevermind, we’ve got Dream! He’ll join in a second.” 

With that, he swiftly closes the Twitch tab and with an encouraging sip of water, he finally joins the Discord voice chat with the rest of the players. Your Discord image sticks out like a sore thumb to him despite being a super basic, Googleable picture of you that he’s probably seen a million times by now, and upon seeing it, reality slaps him right over the face and he realises that, oh shit, he actually joined.

“Hey everyone.” Dream speaks into the mic and a mix of excited voices greets him at the same time as he loads up the game. Your icon is missing the green halo. He stares at it, as if you’ll magically speak up if he stares long and hard enough. That, apparently, works.

Pokimane’s “Dream, hi!” seems to set something off in your brain, and you speak again.

“Oh, Dream?” the green halo appears, and Dream resists the urge to say something stupid or bite his hand or anything of the sort when you say his name. “Aren’t you the guy who listens to my music all the time?” you giggle.

Quackity laughs loudly in his usual fashion, and Dream feels his hands go cold as the Among Us loading page pops up. “Wh-huh?” 

“Yeah, you-you listen to my music a lot! Your fans always tag me under that… ‘Dream’s Spotify’ Twitter account, I remember you.” Dream swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest and start bouncing around on the floor because his ribs are way too restrictive for that type of movement, but he tries his best to play it cool and laughs lightheartedly.

“I do! I’m, like, your biggest fan.” he grins, as if you can see him, and you laugh in return.

“Yeah, man, you pay my rent. Thanks.” you say and a couple of people laugh while Dream inputs the code and his character finally pops up, immediately running around like the rest of the group. He runs around your purple character and hears you chuckle as you run around him too, but not for long, because the game starts and everyone mutes themselves. He audibly sighs, because he can afford to, considering he’s not streaming and nobody can hear the amount of courage this whole thing is taking him. 

A notification pops up on his screen - the Dream Team group chat seems to be talking. Must’ve already found some way to make fun of me, he thinks to himself as he huffs out a large breath and runs through cafeteria and weapons to do his tasks in navigation. Corpse is hot on his tail the whole time, and not to say he’s an untrustworthy guy, but Dream isn’t really looking forward to getting killed before even speaking to you properly, so he runs around, trying to find somebody to stick with so Corpse doesn’t shove a knife in his back while he’s doing a task. 

Thankfully, Karl emerges somewhere from the direction of storage right into communications where Dream was going, too. Just as Dream starts finishing download and Corpse and Karl line up behind him, his screen flashes bright red and white and the bold letters “Dead body reported” pop up. Everyone unmutes themselves and his eyes bore into your character, immediately.

“Alright, the body was in top left of the… uh, upper engine. I need everyone’s positions.” Rae immediately spoke.

“I was in electrical, I-I went through cafeteria to the upper engine with Poki, there was nobody there, we did our tasks, went down to lower engine, then Poki left with Toast, and I went to electrical and the body was reported.” Sykkuno said, and Pokimane confirmed with a hum of agreement.

“Dream?” Rae asked, and he spoke up.

“I never even went that way, I went through weapons to nav, and then to communications, and then the body was found. Corpse can vouch for me because he was following me the entire time and I kinda thought he was gonna kill me. And Karl saw me in communications, us three were all together when you… reported the body.” He rambled, trying to defend himself.

“Yeah, it’s true, he was with me the whole time.” Corpse supported.

“Karl, which way did you get to communications?” Toast asked.

“Uh, through storage.” Karl replied quickly.

“That’s funny, ‘cause I was in security, and I could swear I saw you walk past.” Toast said, and a couple of “ooh”s echo through the call.

“That makes no sense because even if I did go that way, I wouldn’t have time to get to communications and start doing my task with Dream and Corpse if I killed Ethan! And Rae, you-you saw me do my task in storage!” Karl loudly defended himself.

“...that… that’s true, yeah.” she said.

“If you ask me, Toast, you’re being real sus for lying about that.” Karl threw it back at Toast, who protested.

“Listen, I didn’t say you killed anybody, I just said I saw someone run past!” he claimed.

“Bretman and Y/N are being real quiet, though.” Corpse points out, and the green halo around your icon lights up once again.

“Oh shit, I didn’t realise I was muted. Sorry, guys.” you laughed. “Um, I was with… Quackity, in… what’s that shit on the right called?”

“O2.” Quackity quickly jumped in.

“Right, O2. I went to… top left, first, and I did my tasks there, and then to weapons and then to O2, and then the body was reported.”

“You were in top left?” Rae repeated.

“Yeah.”

“And was there anyone with you?”

“Um… no? I was alone, and then I saw Quackity in top right, and then we went to, uh, O2 together.” you said and Corpse sighed loudly.

“That means she could’ve had the time to kill Ethan and run.” Toast points out.

“Hey! I didn’t kill anyone! I don’t even know how this game works…” you whined into the mic and Quackity laughed.

“Yeah, I dunno Y/N, you were dancing real suspiciously around me…” he said, causing you to defend yourself louder.

“Why would I kill anyone?! I don’t even know how to do that, I’m a nice person!”

“I don’t think she did it, guys.” Dream pipes up, tugging at the wire of his headphones absentmindedly.

“Shut up, you simp.” Quackity fires back instantly, making everyone in the call laugh, including Dream.

“Damn right, I’m a Y/N simp. She can do no wrong. I mean, look at that innocent face! She did nothing, I’m-I’m sure.” He argued, making you cover your mouth and giggle.

“Their face is literally the same as everyone’s! We’re all astronauts!” Rae protested, but Dream kept shaking his head.

“No, hers is more innocent.” he said. “Toast, why are you so set on accusing everyone, anyway?”

“Oh, you’re so not attacking Toast right now-”

“Guys, I think we should skip.” Sykkuno pipes up to calm the conversation, and everyone agrees, even though most of them mumble “sus” under their breath as soon as they mute their mics.

Dream’s tiny green astronaut stomps his way over to the left side immediately, changing paths this time and making his way into the Upper Engine, trying to finish his tasks in time and possibly find someone to accompany him so he at least doesn’t have to argue over his alibi. He had four tasks left, two of them in Upper Engine, so after that he was free to roam around wherever his heart desired. Just as he started doing one of them, he watched your purple character step in and run circles around him, earning you a quiet laugh that he didn’t know he uttered until he heard himself do it and silently scolded himself for getting that flustered at something so simple.

The two of you did your tasks together before going down to reactor. Just as Dream started doing one of his tasks, a dead body was reported again and he unmuted himself as Toast immediately started borderline yelling into his headphones. 

“Bretman just killed Sykkuno RIGHT in front of me. I literally watched him do it. He killed Sykkuno in COLD BLOOD.” he confidently claimed and Dream, quite uninterested, grabbed his bottle of water and lightly sipped on it, wiping beads of sweat resting right above his eyebrows with his forearm, blindly looking around the darkness, trying to get his eyes to adjust looking away from the computer screen. His eyes searched for the window - it was open, just enough to let a fresh breeze inside, but it never seemed to do that, letting humid air in with open arms like a welcome guest. Florida is fucking hell, he thinks, gulping down some more water.

“No, I didn’t! I seriously did not, he’s the one who killed him and is trying to frame me now. I swear to God, Toast…” Bretman shouted into his worn mic, trying to argue back. 

“Yeah, to be honest, Bretman, you were silent the whole time when Ethan died.” Rae reasoned, earning quite a lot of “ooh”s and causing little “voted” signs to appear next to Poki, Toast and Karl’s names as Bretman tried his best to fight back.

“I didn’t know I was muted the whole time! You know I’m bad at this! Why would I... you know what, nevermind! Vote me! Vote me! You’ll see when Toast kills you all, I don’t care anymore. I literally saw-”

Dream slumps further into his chair, sure that the foam would have a dent of his body shape imprinted even when he’s long gone from it, and unlocks his phone with a quiet sigh. He opens Discord, and wishes he hadn’t, because Sapnap and George are always on the front lines and ready to make fun of him at any chance possible. He types back a stupid joke, calling them losers, but before he can press send, a Twitter notification pops up on his phone that almost makes his painfully sweaty hands lose grip of the phone. 

“this is so boring” your message reads, from your official Twitter account. Dream blinks a few times, and looks up from his phone to observe his murky, empty room, eyes flashing from the window to the ripped chocolate bar wrapper that somehow made its way onto the floor to a cup of coffee from this afternoon. Did the humid air finally get to him? Hallucinations?

He clicks on the notification - it proves to not be a product of his imagination, after all. Three dots dance around on his screen cheerfully, but they suddenly stop. His ears tune in. Bretman is still defending his honor. Something else must’ve interrupted you. His shaky hands barely hit the right letters.

He takes a handful of screenshots amidst his euphoria, and forwards them to the group chat with no caption besides an emoji sticking its tongue out - he wants to tell them to suck his dick, or something along those lines, but your message remains a priority as he rushes back to the Twitter app to reply.

“Right” he manages to write without a typo. “They’re annoying”

Three dots immediately return to his screen like a happy memory, and he almost can’t believe you’re texting back so fast. George would probably humble him by saying it’s because you have nothing better to do, but what George doesn’t know can’t hurt him, Dream supposes, and clicks on your profile instinctively as he adjusts his headphones on one ear. By the time you finish typing your message, the group decided to vote out Bretman, who ended up not being an imposter.

The three dots disappear as quick as they came, and so does the anticipation that bubbled up in Dream’s throat as he sourly leaves to finish the rest of his tasks. The rest of the game stays as boring as it started, save for the giggles and hushed laughter that came from you at every few jokes he made - of which he made quite a lot, in a desperate attempt to make you laugh, at least a little bit. Of course, Quackity was there every step of the way to accidentally mention how Dream sounded a lot more hype and alive during this game than he does ever, but you win some, you lose some, eh?

In the next game you actually decided to set up proximity chat, so of course Dream followed you around everywhere, hot on your tail at all times - what else is he supposed to do, when the chance presented itself, really?

“Are you imposter?” His character obnoxiously ran circles around you as you did your wires task slowly and unsurely since this stream was your first time playing.

“No, but I wouldn’t tell you even if I was, dummy.” You replied, running around his own character briefly before running up to do the rest of your tasks, watching the green astronaut follow you close behind. 

“Why not?” Dream questioned, eyes following all your movements since he didn’t have anything better to do considering he finished all his tasks. 

“Do you not know how this game works?”

“Yeah, but you’d tell me, right? I wouldn’t… rat you out.” He heard a sigh coming through his headphones in response, and his grin widened just a little, watching your character walk away from him.

“I know you wouldn’t.” you replied. “I’ll tell you if I’m imposter, I guess.”

“You wouldn’t kill me, would you?” Dream spoke into his mic, reaching to fix it and realising the way his hand trembled a little, fully aware he was walking the line between flirty and obnoxious more than usual. He lowered his gaze just to see his keyboard reflect the light of the computer back to him - the sweat from his palms seemed to seep onto the keyboard. He refused to think about the mocking things his best friends would say if they found out how nervous he was just to talk to you. 

“No, of course not! I wouldn’t be able to kill you.” You chirped just as a dead body was discovered and the two of you were torn from the conversation. 

In the next one, his screen flashed an ominous black and red with the word “Impostor” and your purple character stood proudly next to his green one, and he snickered to himself, adjusting his headphones one more time (the more he did it, the more he was convinced it was one of those anxious habits of his).

Shifting in his chair, he started moving and couldn’t believe his eyes when he realised the two of you managed to lock yourselves in a room with Corpse and Sykkuno, accomplishing a double kill in barely the first two minutes of the game. The two of you vented while Dream muttered curses under his breath, breaking out in a sweat wondering if you’re going to get caught or not as you casually hummed to a random tune while faking tasks, hitting the notes in such an effortless way that it made Dream relax and get even more nervous at the same time. It didn’t take too long before the body was found, and you seemed to adapt to the game very quickly, as Dream just sat back most of the time and watched you stretch out a whole essay on why you and Dream could NOT have been imposters. 

“Why would they stick together the whole time? Couldn’t they get at least someone else to vouch for them?” Toast complained. 

“Girl, Dream wants some… alone time with Y/N, obviously.” Bretman said, despite being the one most sus of you in the first place, forcing laughter out of the whole lobby, Dream’s sticking out the most as his mood constantly swayed from finding the whole thing funny to being worried sick if you actually find him weird.

“Exactly! And we’re gonna have our alone time if we want to, thank you very much.” 

Well, Dream thinks, taking a stressed gulp of water from his bottle, at least we cleared that one up.

“I don’t think that sounded the way you wanted it to, Y/N.” Karl pipes up, making Quackity burst into another fit of loud laughter, and you immediately protested.

“It sounded exactly the way I wanted it to! Now, vote Rae or else.” 

When the meeting was over, he ran after you through cafeteria, grin splitting out on his face before he even spoke.

“You’re pretty…” his silence extended as he watched your character stare at his. “...pretty smart.”

You snorted. “Right. You’re pretty…” you extended your silence in return, mocking him. “...too.”

His heart jumps. “You forgot a word there.” he says as you stomp out to storage.

“I said what I said, Dreamy.” 

He swears this can’t be healthy for his blood pressure. In the corner of his eye, Discord notifications pop up like crazy. The boys must be watching your stream. His heart swells with both pride and dread, knowing he’s about to be called something along the lines of pretty Dreamy for the next two months.

“How do you know I’m pretty? You’ve never even seen my face.” Dream replies as heat creeps up like a spirit rising from soil, from the back of his neck, seeping into his ears and cheeks somewhat equally. His eyes dart to the window again. Of course it’s the stupid Florida weather that has him burning up, flustered. Maybe he should open another window.

“Is this an invitation to see it?” you say, a teasing tone clinging off your voice and he can practically hear you smiling. 

“No, I’m just saying! If you want to see it, though, that… that can be arranged.” he bites his lip as a physical attempt of holding back the smile that breaks out as he waits for your response, chest puffing in both nervousness and odd confidence.

“Can it? I mean, I don’t need to see it, I just know already, you have those… pretty boy vibes. But I wouldn’t…” you chuckle. “...be opposed to seeing it, for sure. Don’t count on me not to leak the pictures, though. I want the clout.”

“What do you MEAN you want the clout, you’re Y/N! You don’t need clout from a Minecraft YouTuber!” He argues back, a small wheeze escaping him mid sentence as you giggle and run around, with him following your every move.

“You keep my fucking lights on, man! Whenever your Spotify Twitter account thingy tweets that you’re listening to my stuff, the streams go up! I need your clout.” you say as you run into admin and snap Toast’s neck and run back out casually, as if nothing happened. 

“Yeah, that’s how me listening to your songs on repeat works.” he says and you let out some sort of irritated groan.

“Shut up, smartass.” Just as you say that, somebody seems to find the body and you’re pulled into a meeting, where Rae susses both of you immediately.

“No, because both of you are always together! And someone always spots you walking by the place where the bodies are found! At some point that can’t be a coincidence, right?” she accuses, practically yelling into the mic.

“Of course they’re always together, check- check fuckin’ Twitter! They’re trending on like three different spots already!” Quackity jumps in, loud as always, and the lobby gives off mixed reactions.

“What? We are?” Dream asks, and Quackity confirms with a “yeah, man! Check!” and so he complies, quickly pulling out his phone to check the trending tabs. Sure enough, among the politics and sports, “DREAM Y/N”, “PRETTY BOY” and “DREAM FACE” are crammed, sat at 7th, 14th and 18th place, respectfully. A satisfied grin breaks out on his face. At least they see it, too.

“This has to be the first time Dream has trended for something heterosexual.” Karl points out, earning loud laughter from Quackity and Bretman, less loud on your part.

“Exactly! We’re a power couple! Stay mad!” You shouted, with Dream supporting you in the background, although still shyly adjusting his headphones every few seconds, unable to comprehend that oh, this is actually happening.

Both of you get voted out during the next few minutes, but that really means nothing to Dream - they actually do him quite a favor, because the two of you get to excuse yourselves and he sees those three familiar dots dance on his screen again as he leans back into his chair with a dopey grin, playing with the strings of his sweatpants, waiting for your next and next and next message. 

He opens Discord on his computer to type one last message into the groupchat before turning it off for the night:

Dream (03:14): maybe Minecraft wasn’t my calling after all

Dream (03:14): can’t believe I just met my soulmate on Among Us

[hallelujahmeatgod]

TOKYO REVENGERS CHARACTERS WHEN YOU PRANK THEM TELLING THEM YOU DON'T WANT TO SHARE A STRAW

+warning/s: Just swearing and nothing else really

+pairing/s: Mikey, Draken, Baji, and Chifuyu

+word count: 1398

+note: again, characters are picked based on who i got an idea for right off the bat. i did this in the middle of a class cause i was bored as heck sooooo huehue. hope ya'll like it.

Mikey

"Huh?" He asks.

"Huh what?"

"What?"

"What? What?"

Yes, we're both dumb as fuck. If there's an award for it, we'd win without any effort.

"I'm asking the question here so don't return it back with a question, dummy" He said, rolling his eyes at me.

"You didn't even ask a proper question, you just said 'huh' and looked at me like a dumbass" I grumbled back.

"Okay smartass." He retorted, giving me a warning look. "Did you just really say to get another straw? You wish." He scoffed, reaching for my drink which I pulled away.

"What? It's my drink. My drink my rules, so go get another straw if you want a sip" I sassed.

He gave me a ridiculous look. A look that says 'you know you're acting dumb right now right?'

"Fine." He said, which caught all my attention.

Is he really just giving up right now? Not even gonna get moody? Well that's new.

"Guess who's not having any more kisses from me." He shrugged, scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.

My eyes widened.

He's not serious is he? No way. He's just as clingy as me, so he can't. Or can he😳

"No you can't" I challenged, snatching his phone from his hand.

"See for yourself" He smiled mischievously, causing shivers to run down my spine.

He's fucking serious.

My fucking clingy ass can never.

He then just stood up and walked out of the shop. I grabbed my drink and ran after him outside yelling "DUDE DRINK IT, DRINK IT ALL. THE FUCK! Come here" I said, catching up to him.

I basically forced him to drink with my straw as he tried not to laugh too hard as he took a sip.

"What?" He chuckled, wiping the corner of his mouth because some of the drink spilled.

look at this stupid child enjoying this too much tsk.

"You're not taking away my kiss privileges, bitch. Now drink the whole thing, with MY damn straw!"

Draken

"Ask for a new straw, Ken" I slapped his hand when he tried to snatch my drink, as we watched on YouTube.

He put the phone down and looked at me. I don't even know what his look wants to tell me, he be looking at me like a robot.

You might be looking at me like a robot right now but you're too handsome, sir. Come through with that model looking face, with some of your hair falling on your face. YES, we're here for it👏👏

"What? Do I have something on my face? C'mon let's continue watching." I pouted, looking back at him, eyebrows raised.

He handed me his phone and stood up.

He's really just going to get a straw huh?

I just shook my head and scrolled on his phone, laughing at some of the messages and memes the Toman guys were sending at the gc.

"What's up?" Draken asks when he saw me chuckling to myself. Returning to sit beside me.

When I looked up I was just shookt. I told him to get a new straw but he came back with a whole new drink that's the same flavor as mine. A pout instantly took over my features as he chuckled knowingly at me.

"You're no fun, Ken" I whined, handing him back his phone.

"Should've known better than to play around with me then" He retorted, giving me a triumphant smile. Which earned him an eye roll from me.

"Whatever" I scoffed.

"Sore loser"

Baji

"Excuse me?" Baji exclaimed, giving me a very offended look. His eyebrows almost meet in the middle.

Never thought I'd offend someone in my life over a fucking drink, but okay.

"Okay, first of all, I'm gonna need you to calm down. You'll get wrinkles at such a young age, Kei" I said, rubbing the skin between his brows, trying to get him to relax his face.

He shook his head to shoo my hand away and continued glaring at me.

I really should've thought hard and long before playing this prank on him. It hasn't been a minute when I told him to grab another straw and he's already exploding.

"What are you looking at me like that for? Keep it up and I'll poke your eyes" I said, rolling my eyes at him which just edged him even more.

"Grab another straw? GRAB. ANOTHER. STRAW? Do you have any brain cells left?" He scoffs.

"WOW, coming from you who can barely spell shit when you're already copying it, you twat!"

"Well, are you any better? You can't subtract for shit, shit head"

Now it's my turn to give him an offended look.

You never mention my math capabilities, it hurts me deeply!

"We're seriously having a fight right now that started because you can't get a straw huh? Is it that hard? You're lame." I mocked, trying my best not to laugh at his face.

"Do you want me to remind you where your mouth goes?" He challenged, almost making me lose my shit then and there.

This bitch really needs to invest in breaks, cause damn his mouth can go places.

"What's your deal? You fight gang people, yet you make a big fuss over a straw." I gave him a taunting look.

"You" he said, jabbing me--not hard though-- at the chest. "Grab a straw"

"Bitch, this is my drink" I said as a matter of fact.

"So? Is it that hard?" He mocked me, rolling his eyes.

"You're so stupid, I want to yank your hair" I spat.

"I wanna see you try. What? Wanna take this outside? I'll make you bald, fucking try me. I've got long hair, but my patience is as long as my eyebrow hair, probably shorter." He said, ready to fight my ass.

He was so serious, even lifting his hands up to show me how he's going to snatch my hair, that I couldn't really hold in the laughter anymore.

"D-dude HAHAHAHHAHA" I fell back on the booth we're in, clutching my stomach, as I tear up from laughter.

He clicked his tongue just watching me lose my shit. "I can't stand your ass" He said, standing up from our booth, taking my drink with him and walking out.

"Y-yo wait up!" I called out, still laughing. "THAT'S MY DRINK, GIVE IT BACK!"

"Grab a straw if you want a sip" He looked back with a smirk, before walking away.

Chifuyu

"A sip? Sure baby. Grab another straw" I pushed my drink to him when he asked for a sip.

He suddenly laughed out loud, LIKE REALLY LOUD that he got the attention of everyone around us.

"Nice joke, babe"

"Huh?" I gave him a confused look. "Ain't nobody joking though? Get another straw if you want a sip, Fuyu" I said, waiting patiently for our other orders to finish.

"You crazy"

"No, I'm serious" I retorted, giving him a serious look.

"Since when is that part of your vocabulary? Your vocabulary is so small even that word ain't part of it" He dissed, giving me a mischievous look.

I'm considering leaving this damn prank and just popping his ass right now, so he forgets his own damn vocabulary and all he can remember is the word sorry.

"Don't start with me you ass. I'll beat you with a dictionary since you're all about vocabulary."

"Make it an encyclopedia baby" He grinned, just making me more annoyed.

"Well you're most definitely not getting a sip of my drink now, give it back." I ordered.

"Well, too bad." He shrugged, then snatched my drink, sprinting away like his life depended on it while laughing.

"You stupid bitch--" I called out, shaking my head. Can't really do anything but laugh a little at how stupid he is.

I honestly can't get mad at Chifuyu even if I forced myself. And I don't know if is should be happy or not.

I wasn't expecting him to act normally but dang was I not expecting that.

"You've got one heck of a boyfriend there" The lady at the counter said, chuckling a little bit as we watched him dance around happily while drinking my drink from a distance.

"Sometimes I don't even know if we're in a relationship or I'm just straight up his babysitter" I shook my head as the lady laughed.