#malec being angsty

[lurafita]

Malec Soulmate (angsty)

How about soulmates and (kind of) reincarnations. If we think that soulmates are two people whose souls are meant for each other, and if we further think that after a life is over, the souls get cleansed of the old life and then are (re)born into a new life.

But souls that are connected to each other will find their other piece in that new life eventually. Hence, soulmates. Right?

So now imagine one of those souls being in the body of an immortal. Like Magnus. Who doesn't grow old and doesn't die and is therefore not reborn into a new life. But his partner is mortal. And the one time they weren’t, they were killed by a shadowhunter.

And Magnus has connected with his soulmate many a time in his centuries of life. And has had to go through the pain of losing them to death just as many times. And he can’t anymore. It's too much. He can’t go through that again. Enter Alec. His soulmate. Who is mortal. And a shadowhunter.

I keep imagining that it would come out in a private conversation? Like Alec, fed up of being rejected yet again (they are soulmates! Magnus should know that there is no running from this and anything that Magnus believes stands in their way, Alec will do whatever is in his power to change. They are meant to be!), corners Magnus somewhere and things get to a head.

With Alec thinking that it's because of him being a shadowhunter and Magnus being known to have little love for them (which Alec gets, knowing that Magnus fought in the uprising and has been victim to the shadowhunter brand of superiority for many years), and he wants to prove to Magnus that he is different, that they are different and they belong togehter and Magnus just has to give him a chance. And then it just kind of spills out of Magnus.

How he has done this already. Met him already. Many times. "The first time I found you, you were a prince, but still a child, and I didn't want to do anything to… to manipulate or groom you. So I decided to come back when you were older, so that the power imbalance between us wouldn't be so severe. Only to learn that you had died from an illness just two years after I left. The second time, you were a woman working as a seamstress. We spent two wonderful decades together before the townspeople burned you at a stake while I was away, believing me the devil and you a witch for loving me. The third time, you were a young man, just recently turned into a vampire. And I thought this time, this time it will last. But a prejudiced shadowhunter found you a little too close to their headquaters and thought this grounds to end you. I found you a fourth, and a fifth, and even a sixth time. But our time together was always cut too short. I have lived through losing you far too often. And I can't keep doing it. And now you are once again a mortal, and a shadowhunter to boot. How long would I have you this time? A few years? A decade with any luck? Mere months? I'm sorry, Alexander. I can't."

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

prompt request: older malec 😬 (second chance romance veryyy much accepted )

I know you’re fishing for that BTLIO happy ending that you’re never getting from me nsnsbsmsksskjs

_________

High school reunions are kind of overhyped, in his opinion.

It’s a frivolous attempt by one at pretending that their teenage years were not as miserable as they remember it to be.

Magnus’s quite over it, if he’s being honest.

He never wants to meet most of the people from his high school ever again.

But he’s back in his town after 10 years and Catarina forces him to attend the event.

“Magnus, this is a great way to show up all those assholes that made you miserable.”

“Show up how?” He asks.

Catarina raises an eyebrow at him and he relents.

“Fine. I guess my million dollar worth could be a way.”

“You think?”

He sighs. “But is that it? Financial success? Is that all that matters in this world?”

Catarina side eyes him, “Wow, this town really brings out the angsty teenager in you.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at her. “I just don’t like these people. And I don’t think showing my wealth is a way to prove that I’m better than them.”

“But you are better than them.”

His face breaks into a smile. “And that’s why I love you, my dear.”

His teenage years in this town were to quite simply put it—a nightmare.

They were filled with homophobia, racism and everything in between.

Magnus remembers nothing but being sad in most of them.

Most of them. Not all of them.

Some of them were good memories. The best ones of his life.

He knows those memories had nothing to do with this school or the town but something else.

Something angelic.

Someone angelic.

He puts on his most flamboyant and dramatic outfit, now that no one can hurt him with words about how he chooses to dress up like.

Magnus puts on a purple sheer shirt, with a deep, very deep v neck cut. Half of his chest was visible, with seven necklaces laded on it.

There’s one small necklace still on his neck, it doesn’t match his outfit but it was given by his mom , fixed by his Rafael, he doesn’t know how and he kind of misses them both terribly today.

It’s something about this town.

At least one of them, he’ll get to see again after two days. Rafael wanted to come with him but too but Magnus didn’t want to bring him here. There’s too much sadness here. And he always wants to keep his baby away from all that sadness.

Two hours later, they reach their high school. The event is happening in the gymnasium, even ten years later.

With huge letters, the banner reads- “Class of 2012”.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus goes around the room, meeting people he’s forgotten by now. Some he remembers like yesterday.

“Magnus,” A beautiful woman with curly hair approaches him. “Magnus Bane?”

Magnus thinks for a second before his eyes widen in surprise—good surprise. “Maia?”

“It’s been so long,” she smiles and pulls him in a hug.

“Too long.”

“You disappeared from here.”

“I didn’t disappear,” he says, not without a flair. “I just made a grand exit.”

They both know he’s kind of lying. Magnus had disappeared. More accurately, he’d run away.

It had been too hard. Breathing had become too hard.

If he’d stayed here a minute longer with all the painful memories, Magnus would have died.

Leaving this town had saved him.

He meets a few other people after that. It’s not half as horrible as he’d expected.

“Magnus?”

He recalls that voice as clear as a day. He turns to find the most beautiful woman in front of him.

She was always beautiful but right now, she looks a hundred times prettier. He also knows that it’s nothing to do with her physical appearance but everything to do with the huge smile on her face.

The visible happiness.

She’s never looked freer.

None of the Lightwood siblings ever did.

“Isabelle?”

She jumps in her arms, still with all the love and joy like they’re sixteen again.

Like the little girl who used to help him climb up her house so that they could play housie at night.

Or after a particularly horrible night when they needed some cheering up—thanks to the Lightwood parents.

If it wasn’t for the warm hug, he would have been scared to hug her back. But there’s no such feeling anymore as he wraps his arms around her tightly.

“Oh, darling,” he breathes. “It’s so nice to see you.”

“You too,” Isabelle says happily and he knows she means it.

Isabelle was a two years younger than them so technically she shouldn’t be here. There’s only one reason for her to be here and considering that Simon is lurking not five steps away, with a giddy smile on his face, he has to be right.

“You being here, I can only assume you are still with Sherman,” he grins, the old joke falling easily from his lips.

“I do.”

“Hello, Magnus,” Simon waves excitedly.

They talk for a while but Magnus is a bit distracted throughout.

“He’s here, you know,” Isabelle says.

His brows furrows, “Who?”

Isabelle rolls his eyes. “You know who.”

He does.

Magnus didn’t want to come to the reunion for the following reasons:

1. He dislikes most of these people.

2. He ran away ten years ago and it’s weird to explain to everyone why that happened.

3. Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

The first two reasons ignite a strange anxiety in him. But the last one, it stirs up feelings and emotions he’s tried to kept hidden for years.

If Magnus tries to open the Pandora’s box, he might never be able to shut it down.

“I—I don’t know if—” he stutters, slightly annoyed but not surprised that Alec lightwood can still bring out the teenager in him, “I don’t know if he’d want to see me.”

Isabelle gives him a small smile. “It’s been ten years, Magnus. I think it would be okay.”

He wonders if she knows. If she knows why he did what he did.

Out of all his friends, he had only ever confided in Catarina and Clary at the time.

“Okay.”

He roams around the room, trying to find the man. Then he spots him. It’s not difficult. Even though the last time Magnus saw him was a decade ago, when they were teenagers, still not fully grown into their bodies, still with a bit of acne and awkward smiles on their faces.

But Magnus knows. He knows the man standing in front of him, with his back to Magnus’s face, in a navy blue sweatshirt, amidst a crowd of people fully dressed up in tuxedos and dresses has to be none other than Alec Lightwood.

He musters up all the strength he can, but the air closes up around him, his feet freeze on spot and he finds himself unable to move or speak.

All he can recall is the last time he was infront of Alec.

The last, horrible, horrible words he had hurled at the man who was his entire world.

But it’s been ten years and if anyone deserves an apology or hundred from Magnus, it’s him.

So, he shoves inside his pain, the guilt and everything he’s feeling right now and has been for the past two decades and opens his mouth.

“Alexander?”

It’s the easiest thing in the world to notice the man’s body tense up at the name. There’s a full few seconds of absolutely no movement before Alec moves—oh, so slowly.

His heart stutters inside his chest, rapidly beating inside.

From the ages of twelve to seventeen, Magnus had only felt two emotions in the world. Pain, at everything happening inside his house and love—for Alec.

His life had space for nothing else at the time.

Then slowly, and then very instantly, only pain had remained as he had pushed all the love away.

“Magnus?”

He’s still as beautiful as ever; Magnus thinks. But somehow more so. There’s that teenage shyness missing from his face, replaced with the handsomeness of a grown man.

Alec looks breathtaking, with his wild hair, dark and gorgeous. His eyes, as blue and shiny as ever.

A hundred emotions flicks over his face and it breaks his heart to realise that he understands none of them, having lost the privilege to read Alec years ago.

Then, his face settles on a small smile. A tight lipped one. Not Alec’s real one.

Alec’s real smile, that’s something one can never forget.

It’s a special privilege, to be able to see Alec Lightwood smile.

“Hi,” he says, carefully, not knowing the kind of reaction he will get.

If Alec tells him to fuck off and never show his face again, he would understand.

He would deserve it.

He had broken Alec’s heart in the worst of ways.

But Alec doesn’t yell, doesn’t tell him to fuck off. He smiles. Only if a bit careful.

“It’s been a minute since I have seen you.”

He chuckles, “Yeah. Been a minute.”

There’s a few minutes of silence afterwards. He doesn’t want what he’s supposed to say. What either of them could say after the shitshow everything was the last time they saw each other.

They stand awkwardly before it gets too difficult for Alec and he excuses himself. “I think someone is calling me.”

Magnus sighs dejectedly as Alec leaves, his heart breaking inside his chest.

This is why Magnus didn’t want to come back to this stupid, fucking town ever again. It brings nothing but pain and disappointment.

Catarina has asked him through the years if he regrets his decision. And the answer is always a resounding no.

He needed to choose someone at the time, and he chose Alec.

No one will ever know though and he’s quite okay with that choice.

Alec and he cross paths a couple of times in the next two hours but they don’t talk, Alec still avoids him like the plague. Or just because there’s nothing to talk.

He’s a little angry at Alec; if he’s being honest.

It’s not right, he knows. But he wants Alec to be angry at him right now, yell or shout about why he did what he did. But Alec does none of those things and it hurts more than he would like to accept.

Maybe, for Alec, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

It was just a break up after all.

People break up all the time.

They weren’t special.

Even the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth because he knows with everything inside of him tjay to him, it meant everything.

Alec Lightwood was everything.

“So, guess what we’re about to do now?” One of the organisers, Michelle announces.

“Leave?” He mutters, only loud enough for Catarina to hear; who chuckles in response.

“Shut up. You love a party.”

“Not this one.”

“Remember when we all put a time capsule under that big tree in the campus?” Michelle screams. “We’re about to open them.”

Oh.

The time capsule.

He recalls early senior year, everyone giggling and laughing, putting their hopes, future plans into the time capsule.

He remembers his ambitions. Plans. He had a lot at the beginning of senior year.

By the end of senior year, he had none left. Not a whole lot of hope either.

“What did you put in your time capsule?” Catarina asks.

He frowns, trying to recall. “I don’t really remember. You?”

Catarina thinks for a moment before her eyes widen in embarrassment, “Oh god. I put something very embarrassing.”

Magnus chuckles, “What?”

“You’re never finding out, Bane.”

There’s too much chatter then, everyone discussing their capsules, asking about others. For a second, it feels like he’s back to being seventeen again.

“Come on, let’s find out.”

“I don’t wanna,” he whines but then he sees Isabelle, Jace, Simon and Clary all run in the direction, dragging a grumpy Alec and he follows.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Ask Clary out. Go Pro,” Jace’s time capsule notes and he hurrayed, kissing Clary on the mouth.

Clary finds a photo of all six of them, huddling on top of each other and they all warm up inside at the memory.

They had all been at Magnus’s house that day, the one in the photo.

They all tear up a little.

Isabelle finds a small bottle of alcohol that she had stolen from her dad, pulling a chuckle out of everyone as she chugs it in one go. “No regrets,” she screams.

“Simon?”

Simon finds a small picture of him and his dad. “I lose things all the time. I didn’t want to lose this picture.”

Isabelle pulls him in for a hug and kisses his temple.

A little excitement simmering up, Magnus opens his box. There’s a single note inside, and when he reads it, his heart breaks for the thousandth time.

“What do you have Magnus?”

His voice breaks, “Excuse me,” and runs away from there.

Tears stream down his face as he runs towards the terrace. It’s an isolated spot, entry restricted to students but long back, Magnus and his friends have found out a way to break that lock. Almost a decade, and the lock is still not fixed.

He sits on the ledge and cries his heart out.

It angers him so much, being here. It’s like suddenly he’s transported back to ten years ago, with his fragile teenage heart.

After a while, he doesn’t know how long, there’s footsteps on the terrace.

“Hi.”

He chuckles dryly. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Comfort me. I’m just having a moment.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

They stay silent but Magnus has been never been a fan of silence so he asks, “How did you know I was here?”

It’s a stupid question, really. But atleast it’s a question. Atleast they’ll talk.

Because Magnus doesn’t know how long he can go on without Alec talking to him.

Ten years was too long.

“So,” he drags his words, “What was in your time capsule?”

“A list,” Alec chuckles, but it’s weak.

He knows that as well. They had written put their time capsules together. Right next to each other. But they hadn’t shown each other what they had written.

“Stop peaking,” Magnus recalls Alec squealing as he tried to peek into Alec’s list.

“Come on, show me.”

“No.”

Magnus had dragged his finger along Alec’s neck then, as he got closer and purred against his ear, “Please darling. It’s me.”

Alec’s body had shivered under his touch. “Stop. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“And what would that be?” He grinned.

He had tried some more but Alec had not shown him.

That day, it had felt impossible that there would come a day when they would actually get to open that. Ten years had felt too long at the time.

Right now, he can’t even recall where the past ten years went.

“You want to see it?” Alec suggests.

Magnus’s eyes widen. “You will show me?”

“Why not?” Alec shrugs. “We’ve got nothing to lose.”

The words sting, burning a red and angry feeling inside of him but he tries not to show it at the surface. “Okay.”

Alec passes a piece of paper to him.

Magnus takes a deep breath and turns it.

Alec’s scrawny handwriting brings out a smile out of him.

1. Leave Idris.

2. Come out to everyone.

3. Become an archery player.

4. Get Max and Izzy and Jace out of his parents control.

5. Marry Magnus.

A choked sob leaves Magnus’s mouth. And still, he can find in himself to be incredibly proud that Alec was able to fulfil four out of the five things.

“Four out of five isn’t bad,” he tries to keep lightness in his voice but fails miserably.

“I guess,” Alec says, his voice tight.

Before anyone says another word, Magnus takes out the piece of paper from his pocket and passes it to Alec.

He avoids his gaze as Alec reads the words.

Magnus’s list wasn’t really a list. It contains of only one thing and Magnus couldn’t even fulfil that.

There’s just words that he knows will mock him for an eternity.

Mama is sick. But don’t worry, stay with Alec. He will make everything okay. He will make you okay.

A hurt noise leaves Alec’s mouth this time and he feels his own heart splintering. He wants to hug the man and tell him that he’s sorry. That it wasn’t his fault. That he’s good. But he does none of that.

“Magnus—“ Alec says brokenly.

He knows what Alec is asking. Magnus didn’t plan to ever tell anyone—especially Alec about this but he is tired—so tired of the pain, of the weight of the secret paining him for a decade.

For all the love he doesn’t know what to do with.

For their hopeful teenaged selves that believed nothing could come between them but something—Magnus, did.

“You needed to leave.”

“What?”

“If you had stayed in Idris, you would have died. You were dying here under the weight of your parents expectations and you needed to leave this town. I could not be another thing between you and your freedom,” he says hurriedly, the air around him closing.

“Magnus, what are you talking—?”

“You had that scholarship in your hand, Alexander,” Magnus breathes harshly, almost gasping. “I couldn’t let you stay for me.”

“Your mom was dying, Magnus,” Alec says harshly, and the words hurt but they’re true. “Of course I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay for you.”

“I couldn’t let that happen,” he admits. “You had a whole life, a whole career ahead of you. I couldn’t stop you.”

“You didn’t have to ask. I would have done anyways,” Alec all but screams and it feels almost cathartic, that the other man is finally screaming.

He’s positive Alec hasn’t screamed in a decade.

“You think I don’t know that?” Magnus exhales. “That’s why I had to do what I did.”

There’s silence then. Just their loud breathing audible.

Before Alec speaks, as tired and pained as he feels, “You broke my heart, Magnus.”

Tears stream down his face and he wipes them off harshly. “I’m sorry.”

“All I did was love you,” Alec whispers. “And then I didn’t understand.”

“I did not want you to understand, Alexander. For that, I am incredibly sorry.”

They stay silent then. Not knowing what to do with all of this.

At least now, Alec has all the answers.

He thinks it’s time for him to leave. He told Alec everything there was to know. Now he needs to leave this town and these people again.

It’s the most unexpected and magical thing in the world when Alec speaks after a few minutes, “You want to go for a walk?”

————————————————-

As they talk; Magnus will find out about Max, Alec’s three year old son. Alec will show him a picture and it would be the cutest kid in the world.

Five years later, Magnus will make sure that Alec crosses off the fifth thing off his list too.

And in his vows, he thanks Alec for making him okay.

————-

[foodsies4me]

zero context WIP tag game

If you’re tagged, make a new post and share 1-2 (a few) sentences from your most recent unposted WIP(s) with zero context – Let your followers guess!

I was tagged by @demy85, thank you!!!💜

This is one delightfully evil tag game. So, let’s go with the angsty bits from four different unposted WIPs! (Shadowhunters, Malec as always)

Alec's breathing comes out in croaky gasps that rattle like death. Strangled snores echo in the empty hallways as Alec's blood pools on the ground and in Magnus' hands, staining the white blouse he'd worn for their date. "Alec, darling, sayang, please."

He should despise him. Loathe him. Abhor the very ground he stands on for being among the worst of his kind and following in his parents' footsteps. So why does his laugh keep echoing in Magnus' ears?

Alec crashes to his knees, the ground disappearing from underneath his feet as his mind registers the scene in front of him - the lifeless bodies. The thorn-up clothing and broken weapons. The blood.

There's blood in his mouth and ash on his tongue, his body is made of broken bones and bruises at this point, but the moment they drag him out, eyes terrified and sobs muffled into silence, Alec snaps.

(Because I don't want to be toooo evil, none of these scenes end up in permanent character death for those who are sensitive to it and need the reassurance.)

Tagging, without any pressure whatsoever, @miss-mouse, @myulalie, @sandylee007, @echo-bleu and naturally anyone else who sees this and wants to participate. :D

[khaleesiofalicante]

About the TLND Sequel...

First and foremost, thank you - for all the asks and the kind words. Your messages and ongoing interest mean the world to me, and I genuinely appreciate each and every one of them.

I understand there have been many inquiries about this and I apologize for not being able to respond to all of them individually. I'll address it here instead.

To clarify, what I have is merely an idea— a nucleus scene and some classic music that sparked this whole thing. There's no assurance that it will evolve into a fic. If such a plan materializes, you'll be the first to know.

Some time back, I mentioned an interest in writing about a deeply personal subject— rape/sexual violence. This is a topic I work on (in my professional life) on a daily basis. As you're aware, my writing often aims to educate my audience, in whatever capacity I can. Unfortunately, there are numerous misconceptions surrounding rape/SA, even among survivors, owing to the pervasive misinformation in the world. This is why I wanted to write about it. A story not just touching upon it as a plot point, but delving into it comprehensively. It deserves this kind of attention, I think.

The potential for a sequel, if it happens, would center on Minerva and this challenging theme. I'm fully aware that some readers may find this unsettling, and that's a sentiment I've confronted before. However, this wasn't a conscious decision on my part; rather, it came to me randomly and it felt right. Should a sequel materialize, it would revolve around Minerva (and her family) navigating the journey of healing. I can assure you that, irrespective of the storyline, her parents and siblings will stand by her with unwavering support—a privilege not often granted to survivors.

As I said, it's angsty. But it's also difficult. That's the right word for it, I think. Difficult. It's difficult to read and it's going to be so very difficult to write. Keeping this in mind, I really don't want to go through the bullshit I did last time with TLND where people take sides and get EXTREMELY opinionated on how the characters should react. I';'m not willing to deal with that kind of bullying for a story like this.

Nevertheless, this topic holds profound significance for me. So, I do hope I find the strength to write it. The key thing to me is that this story is affirming. That's an important word/concept we must learn. If we see characters like malec and rafe and max and all our favourites affirming such an experience, I feel like it could be helpful - whether you've been through something like this or not.

You know I never write a sequel if I didn't plan for it in the beginning, but as always, I listen to my characters and not the other way around. So, if this story is adamant and demands to be told, I will of course write it. I don't know when and how, but I will do my best. Until then, please be patient with me.

With love and gratitude, Dani

[delightfullyterrible]

Starting off my birthday month by giving y'all some ✨ pain ✨

This whole fic is based on one angsty movie dialogue and Thule Malec......so you know double pain 😊

*********

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we were ordinary?" Magnus asked, staring at the ceiling.

They were still lazing in bed even though it was already mid-morning. The previous few mornings had been spent like this, wrapped in sheets and talking about the most random things, until one of them got hungry enough to get up and make breakfast (or in Magnus’s case, summon it). No one knew they were back from vacation already and neither Alec nor Magnus was in any hurry to tell them.

"Ordinary? Like if we were mundanes?" Alec asked.

"Yeah, because I do".

This piqued Alec’s curiosity. "And what do we do in our ordinary lives?" he asked. 

"You do a regular, boring 9-5 job, I wait for you to come home and give me attention”. 

Alec chuckled. “What else?”

Magnus turned towards him and raised himself slightly. “On the weekends we do laundry and taxes. Maybe host a barbecue once in a while".

“And who does the grilling?”

“You of course,” Magnus replied sunnily. “Or maybe Jace or any of our other friends. But not Isabelle”.

“Not Isabelle,” Alec agreed. "Do we still live in New York?"

"We could live wherever,” Magnus said. “New York, London, Florence, Mumbai, Tokyo, anywhere. Any special preferences?"

Alec shook his head. "Any place is fine as long as it’s you I wake up next to. Whichever city, whichever country, whichever universe".

Magnus smiled. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you will be the death of me,” he said and kissed him for a long time.

~~~~~

The memory felt like a lifetime ago. Alec wished he could go back to that time when life was so simple and the only thing he had to worry about was how to keep Izzy and Jace away from trouble or how to get the glitter out of literally every surface in the house.

But the world as he had known had changed completely. Sebastian Morgenstern turned it into his playground. Demons roamed freely, mundane numbers were dwindling and Shadowhunters were either Turned or killed or barely managed to escape. There was personal loss too - his mother was missing, his sister was dead and his parabatai was worse than dead.

His sister had died killing Sebastian and his parabatai’s very soul had been corrupted by him.

And then there was Magnus, on his knees in front of him, begging to be killed. 

“You have to do this Alexander,” Magnus pleaded. “There is no other way”.

“There has to be another way. Tessa and Ragnor are still searching, they could find something that….they could find something”.

“Even if they do, it will be too late,” Magnus said. “I don’t have any more time left”.

It was true. The blight had started affecting warlocks all over the world. One by one they were all falling ill and no cure had worked. Magnus, being an Eldest curse, was affected the most.

Alec kneeled so he could be at eye level with him. Magnus was beyond exhausted. His bones were jutting out and his usually beautiful face was pale and sunken.

Magnus clasped Alec’s hand. “Alec, my brave archer boy, I know I am asking a lot from you but I can’t see myself turning into a monster,” he said, tears welling up in his eyes. “For centuries I have kept my humanity intact, trying my best to not let my father’s blood taint the good in me, trying to not give in to evil”. He shut his eyes as if in pain and whispered “I can’t fail now”.

A teardrop rolled and fell on Alec’s hand. “Look at me Magnus,” he said and lifted Magnus’s chin. “Look at me and listen to me, you are kindness, strength, humanity, and patience all wrapped up in one person. All your life you have helped people and saved lives. Even if they didn't deserve any of it. You are not evil. You never will be”

“I wish it was true Alexander. I wish that was my reality right now. But when this illness takes over my body, everything you said about me will vanish. I won’t be part human anymore and I would rather die than lose my humanity”.

Alec knew that. Magnus’s humanity had made Magnus what he was today. It was what Alec had fallen in love with first. So how could he see it leave his body? How could he deny him his last wish?

“Is this what you really want?” Alec asked in a small voice.

“Yes I do,” Magnus said. “You know why it has to be you right?”

“I know,” Alec replied. “I just wish we had more time”

“I wish that too. Maybe it's possible in another universe”.

“Maybe in another universe, we have a different life, a happier one”.

“Like the one we talked about a few months ago?”

“Yeah, like that one,” Alec replied softly.

Magnus closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Alec’s. He pulled away after a few minutes and whispered “You have to do it now before anyone else comes”.

Alec nodded and slowly retrieved a knife from inside his jacket. With his other hand, he gently touched Magnus’s face. “Just so you know, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”.

Magnus smiled and kissed him with all the passion and love he could muster. Tears flowed down his face, mingling with their kisses. He gasped as the knife went in but didn’t move away. 

They stayed like that in each other's arms until Magnus’s breaths became shallow. Alec pulled away and gently lowered him to the ground. Blood seeped from the wound and darkened the soil around him. Magnus opened his mouth to say something but he started sputtering and reddish-black blood spilled out. Alec made a move to shush him but Magnus stopped him. “Alexander Lightwood…. it has been an honor being loved by you,” he said finally and went still.

Alec closed his eyes in pain and let the tears fall. He wanted to do more than that. He wanted to scream, shout, break something, bring Magnus back but nothing would work. He had lost everything and everyone he once held dear. The only thing he was left with now was grief and pain.

Once upon a time, Alec had dreamed of changing the world so the people he cared about could live and love freely. But what was the point now if they were all gone? What kind of world would he fight for? And for whom?

It was one of the quickest decisions Alec had made in his life. He curled his fingers around the hilt of the knife embedded in Magnus’s body and pulled it free. He thought of his family one last time, of Clary who died trying to save the world, of Tessa, Ragnor, and Catarina who were desperately searching for a cure. He thought of Magnus, the man who made him come alive with one look, who made him feel deserving of love.

A world without Magnus in it was not a world worth living in. With that thought in mind, Alec plunged the knife into his chest. It stung at first but it was okay. This pain was better compared to the pain of living. He laid down next to Magnus, clasped his hand, and closed his eyes. At least in death, they could be together.

The last thing he saw was a vision of two boys standing in front of a door. One was a toddler, barely 2 or 3 years old, with blue skin and tiny white horns jutting out of his head. The other one was slightly older with unruly curly hair and a solemn expression on his face. The boys looked like they were waiting for someone. He heard them call out, then the image faded and darkness took over as if signaling the end.

taglist : @dandeliononthemoon @onetimetwotimesthreetimess @ninacarstairss @vierss-herondale @elettralightwood @gayforcarstairsgirls @rinadragomir @magnus-the-maqnificent @carelessflower @dustandducks @wildesummerchild @potato-jem @the-ethereal-aura @literallytypogod

[swifty-fox]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬!

thank you @antiquitea for the tag! ✨ sorry I made u feel oldTM

tagging in @bucking-mustangs-with-wings @bitchsister @sig-nifier and @avonne-writes!

questions and responses under the read more to save your dashboards 😉

how many works do you have on ao3?

only eleven!!

what's your total ao3 word count?

115,430 (and most of that is probably kfak and one old guard fic lol)

what fandoms do you write for?

Currently only for Masters of the Air but I've also written for The Old Guard (my bewoved)

and wolfstar and aftg but i wont touch those again for various reasons lol

top five fics by kudos

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 528 kudos

Make Me A Saint - Joe x Nicky (The Old Guard) 448 Kudos

press your tired hands against my lips darling - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 432 Kudos

Little Beast - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 368 Kudos

The Calcification of a God - Joe x Nicky (The Old Guard) 294 Kudos

do you respond to comments?

yesss i try to respond to every single comment. After the first 48 hours of a fic/chapter being posted I do get lazy with it but I do get around to everyone eventually!

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In another life maybe you and i will be walking down the aisle in white (The Old Guard (Movie 2020)) (18,264 words) lol It's got MCD in it cause I was #coping after losing my grandmother. It was really well received though

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhmaaaa....Kfak WILL be?? probably????? Or Little Beasts AU but im so far out from finishing that. The first two endings are pretty emotionally ambiguous I wouldn't quite call them happy.....so maybe

Oh Captain, My Captain! (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) (1,612 words) (wolfstar) even though its angsty and kinda implying Remus is dying lmfao

do you get hate on fics?

I got like one comment on a recent chapter that I wasn't sure was hate but otherwise no not really! People seem to receive my stuff really well

do you write smut?

LOL if you asked me four months ago I would have said no <3

craziest crossover?

I don't really do or read crossovers! I did a few years ago start concepting a Wolfstar x Eastern Promises au though

have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! I've had art stolen though. Someone even got it tattooed without my permission which pissed me off pretty bad lol

have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah I have lol. I orphaned it though cause the fellow author and I had a massive falling out over Peter fucking Steele of all things

all time favorite ship?

Always and forever Malec from The Mortal Instruments (BOOK ONLY) or DaveKat (Homestuck)

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started a really fucking awesome supernatural horror that took place in rural Maine for Wolfstar as well as actually a Fae/WWII au (inspired by the Bastogne episode of BOB) that I will not be finishing for... reasons.

The ringing in Remus’ ears is so loud he almost doesn’t hear Sirius. There’s a sharp pain on his tongue, rot and muck coating his taste buds. He cannot breathe, his hands shake. He thinks he may be making a noise. In his head there is a voice. His mothers his voice except he doesn't have a mother does he? Not since he was seventeen and whole. His mother’s voice crooning in his ear as she once did around the green 1960’s kitchen.

There’s a bird who sits on a tower. There’s a bird who sits on a tower - who sits on a tower, with beady eyes so clever.

Where did that scar come from?

“А bird who sits on a tower…” He mutters. 

“Pardon?” Sirius asks, snapping Remus out of his thoughts. 

He starts. 

The cabin is up ahead, peeking between the snowy trees like a warm wooden refuge and even at the sight of it Remus feels an uncurling of nerves in his gut. His flesh settles back onto his bones and the ringing eases back to a manageable level. He watches a sodden bloody bee drag her dying body across the dashboard. 

“Cults...you were saying?” - Factis ut credam facis

-

“Hello there Sir Raven.” He says with a chuckle “I don’t suppose you’re one of the King’s are you? Or Churchill perhaps. That would be quite a long way to travel.” 

Sirius puffs up his feathers and clacks his beak at the Man because even though he didn’t quite understand what the Man meant, he knew a compliment when he heard one. Bravely, he hops closer, the warnings of his parents and even of James ringing in his ears. But the shiny thing is dangling free and curious from the Man's neck and he must know what it is. 

“Haha. What a handsome fellow, handsome indeed. Much more well fed than we all are.” The Man laughs, setting aside his Paper and rummaging around in his Clothes. “Still, I bet pickings are getting a bit slim nowadays, even for a clever old Raven. Have you had digestives before?” 

He holds out a hand, nearly as large as Sirius himself and as elegant and pretty as the branches of a willow. All of the Man was like a tree, sharp lines and slightly less sharp curves. There was something in his hand, sweet-smelling and crumbly. Sirius turns his head first one way then the other, regarding the hand with both beady eyes as the warnings of his people ring in his ears. James' voice be careful plays at the forefront and he shakes out his wings in irritation. Man would catch him. Man would hurt him. Capture him and take him away never to be seen again like his Uncle Alphard. Man did not understand magic and magic did not like Man and so Sirius too, did not like Man. Men who burned and tore apart forests, who killed his kinfolk and killed animals and killed each other. And really, Sirius just wanted to understand. It could not be this man, with his quiet words and his offer of food who had destroyed his people. Surely there were other men, cruel men, who had done this and so it would be okay for Sirius to be brave and a little bold. 

“That’s a handsome old boy.” The Man whispers. 

Well that does it then, surely no evil Man would notice how beautiful I am. He must be like my other man with the Paper. Sirius thinks, leaping into the air just long enough to snatch the prize from the Man’s hand and retreat far enough away to devour the sweet treat with his clever beak. It was delicious, dry and crumbly and so sweet that it makes him shiver. He hops boldly onto the Man’s hand, searching for the last crumbs of the food between the cracks and crevices of his skin. - untitled WWII/Fae fic

what are your writing strengths?

Apparently heartwrenching angst <3

what are your writing weaknesses?

I think i don't linger over things long enough, I feel like i can dive more deeply into feelings and scenes if I just stopped and contemplated over them lol

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think when done right it adds a lot! I like when authors put the translations at the bottom of the fic/chapter though

first fandom you wrote in?

ouughaaa Probably Maximum Ride back in the late aughts

favorite fic you've written?

Sorry y'all it's definitely Kingdom for a Kiss haha

[cuubism]

hi I’ve been reading your malec fics for years. Dissolution is something I reread every few minutes and I just did again yesterday. Then I started leviathan again today and lord—this fic is something else. It makes me feel something so different.

They’re both so in love. Both so much thinking about the other constantly. And nan leviathan Alec is a bloody hypocrite lmao. Like he headass has some weird magic lines and won’t tell his husband WHILE TALKINF TO JIM ABOUT BEING OPEN LIKE SIr!??? EXCUSE???

Anyways. The characterisation is something something else.

Are you ever planning to finish leviathan? I understand if u don’t. But I need to know how tha fic ende lord. I want to see another huge big fight like an angsty scenewherr maybe Magnus realises Alec doesn’t tell him things either or idk anything. But I love this fic

i'm glad you enjoy them! yes Alec is being a huge hypocrite in Leviathan 😂 they each had to have their own arc of Coping with Trauma and Leviathan is more Alec centric.

I have wanted to get back to that fic, it was always very important to me. I'd already been stuck on the same chapter for ages even before getting pulled into Sandman. now that I've been writing in another fandom I've found it hard to get back into Magnus and Alec's heads. hopefully my brain will let me circle back to it at some point. rest assured that in the version that exists in my head (which... even in my head it's incomplete which is part of the problem), they do get their shit together eventually. I don't really like to write sad endings.

maybe i'll dedicate some time to trying to get back into it :) or at least, to rereading it so i remember what even happened

[carelessflower]

Anh’s list of top tier angsty scenes in Chinese drama that’s so good someone make a Malec au for this (1/4)

Drama: Goodbye My Princess

Context: the guy get ambushed while on a mission in the girl’s country, she saved him, he faked his identity and they fall in love. the day of the wedding, he brought his troop with him to take over the girl’s tribe and killed her granddad in front of her. then they both jumped in a lost river and loose their memory. he got made a crown prince and she the assigned bride. but then she got her memory back, she couldn’t deal with not being able to kill him for killing her family or the two countries at war again. this can be the PERFECT malec scene omg just image all the angsty feeling aghhh the I forgive you the last wish promise me you will be happy

[rafasbiscuits]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @yoellglia and @shambolicchaos !! always appreciate being remembered, love you guys xoxo <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

6 works, and it's probably going to stay that way for quite some time 💀

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

25k+ . I'm a very lazy writer, and I just write short fics tbh, there's only one fic that has alot of words lmao

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Publicly published? Only Tennis RPF and Beta Squad (on Wattpad) but I've written alot of fics for many fandoms that I write just for me to read to satisfy my imaginations. I write alot of Twilight, football RPF, Avatar fandom (not the blue people), and Teen Wolf, there's really a lot. I've been writing since I was a child so like💀

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Say Yes To Heaven, Say Yes To Me (god I really need to change the name💀) but yeah, this fic's alright.

He Who Chases Two Rabbits, Catches None. AKA Chasing Rabbits fic. yes the name is long, yes it's not the most beautiful. But this quote is really just, similar to my fic. I actually got inspirations for my fic from this quote itself.

Everything is different. My first ever fic!!

If I'm on fire (you'll be made of ashes too). Lmao this is just me trolling the readers by writing plain angst🙈 but hey! Taylor Swift inspired song!!

Heaven's A Heartbreak Away. Ruru fic!! It's like the only fic that's not fedal lmao XD

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Ofc I do!! Even if the comment's just an emoji. I'll reply, I always do. I love commenting, and I love when my fics get commented on. It's really really sweet, and the long ones especially just makes me go 🥺 like aww, you thought so much about my fic!! how awesome is that?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angstiest ending? I wouldn't call it angst for this one but it's definitely not a happy ending. Can I call it ending? Cause the story is kinda like description-ish and there's not alot of plot but it's Say Yes To Heaven, Say Yes To Me. Unrequited love and all that stuff. But there's one fic where it's supreme angst, no happiness in it. Which is why I don't think it's considered an ending cause hey. The whole plot is angst so like- yeaa

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's either Heaven's A Heartbreak Away or And time can't stop me (quite like you did) but I'm going with Heaven's A Heartbreak Away. It's just Casper and Holger facing their own personal struggles, in the end they found each other and BAM fall in love. happy. And this fic actually has the ending I'm most proud of, I think I slayed on the ending but that's just my opinion.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No? Not necessarily hate, just opinions. I never take it to heart. I am my biggest hater anyways, so I'm always ready for any comments. (All my fics suck and I suck and no one can convince me otherwise)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. Maybe never, or maybe not yet. I won't write a one shot smut, but maybe I'll include smut in the long fic, aka Rabbits fic, cause that fic is long and angsty and there might be some scenarios where smut should be involved. But idk how to write smut, I read them, I don't write them. Feels awkward.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! But not the ones I publish, and it's never that crazy anyways. I had a fic between Shadowhunters fandom (Malec obv) and Harry Potter, with the Harry Potter AU, but every fandom has a Harry Potter AU so it's not crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, no. My writing isn't actually Shakespearean level for it to be stolen. It's just....fanfiction💀

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Fedal!!!! Obviously, obviously. Their whole relationship irl is a masterpiece in itself, they're a piece of art just waiting to be looked upon and researched and just. They're the best. They're a walking fanfiction, they have the most beautiful concept and I love that they're actually real. FEDAL 🔛🔝. With a side of Cherik, Satosugu, Malec (also one of my oldest, iconicest, bestest, favourite ship ever. They're so sweet)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm scared to say that this WIP might just be my Rabbits fic. I have this thing with consistency, and I can't keep my head straight and focused. But for now, that's not one of my WIPs (yet).

I have this Malec WIP, it's Harry Potter AU, and I really love it. I've written the plots and the process and wrote the ending, but I can't seem to bring myself to write the actual fic. It's a mystery-ish, action packed, romance with a side of dystopian too. And that fic is my baby, but I doubt I would continue it, despite being my favourite.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idk, probably descriptive? Like, descriptions. I've received some comments in the past (during my Wattpad days) that I can make my readers clearly imagine what I'm writing and what they're reading and that my writing can be quite detailed. That was back in my days when I was just a child, I don't know about now cause I have a diff writing style now I think. I don't know, I don't really have anything extra on my writing, it's just plain fanfiction.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Consistency. I'm actually having difficulties rn with continuing the third chapter of my He Who Chases Two Rabbits, Catches None because I think my writing style has changed COMPLETELY. and I'm trying my best to get it back from the first two chapters, but I don't know how I wrote in that style. My writing style keeps changing, sometimes there's too much dialouge, sometimes there's no need for them. And sometimes it's just alot of descripting, and at times it's just alot of random things put in. Idk😭 and along with lack of consistency, there's also a side of procrastination. Fantastic. What a way to ruin a writer's writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

What does this mean? I don't get it. But hey, yeah, it's cool. I think. I've read a few fics that has diff languages in their dialogue and they're top notch. Probably too complicated for me, cause for me if it's another language I just write in diff font but everyone has their own style. I'm fine with it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

if it's published then it's Tennis RPF. But if it's not then I think..my first is definitely Twilight.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

All my fics are shit, I don't like any of them and if there isn't alot of reads and comments already I would delete them all. BUT despite the fact that I absolutely hate all my fics (I'm a person filled with hatred, I hate all of my art pieces too) I do have some fics that I hate on less.

It's definitely either one of the fics on my Of Paradise and Vicissitudes series. The first part, Say Yes To Heaven. I think it's a good start for the series, It's alright. And the second part, which is the Chasing Rabbits fic. It's, I put alot of thought and effort into the fic. Its a fic I really invest alot of my time on. The fic is a bit precious to me. I really want to see the fic end the way I pictured it, but it's a bit hard for me to continue and keep going. Hopefully this is just for a short time. Once I'm done with exams, I'm planning to get back on track and start writing the third chapter.

Idk. Who should I tag? I think everyone's been tagged already but let's go with @schumi-nadal @soronya @babygirlrafa @dillo-alla-luna and IDK- how many of u guys are fanfic writers??

TAGGING ALL OF YOU AO3 WRITERS🫵🫵. YEAH.

[alexagirlie]

Twenty Questions: Fic Author Addition Thank you to @thelettersfromnoone 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 80 XD 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 138,003 3. What fandoms do you write for? Primarily for The Last Kingdom, Dune and House of the Dragon but have some small drabbles in BBCs Merlin and Shadowhunters. 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Close Your Eyes and Think of Caladan At the Touch of You Under the Hood I just can't resist the urge Coffee and Fried Eggs 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, whenever its a comment that makes sense to respond too anyways. 6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh shit uh.... prooobably Day 23: Back to Black? since I killed off my favourite character. I have a few with pretty angsty endings though. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Honestly most of my fics have a happy ending but maybe Day 3: Honeybee

8. Do you get hate on fics? No actually? Ive never received hate or negative comments anywhere. I keep waiting for it though as Ive written some dark stuff...

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? Heck yes I do, ranging from loving, to hate sex, to unrequited love and even non-con. A range of kinks and level of detail.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Only 1 real crossover which is a Shadowhunters AU featuring the boys from The Last Kingdom. I have one part published FU in my head and more planned to get around to in the future.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I have not, but I wouldn't be opposed to it with the write partner. 14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Man this is a hard one as I have a lot that hold a special place in my heart. I would say either Sihtric/Finan from The Last Kingdom or Paul/Duncan from Dune. (honourable mentions, Obikin, Malec, Sterek, Jacemond, Jacegan, Kurbastian) 15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have several which are just an idea on a list which I'm not sure I will ever actually start but as for stories Ive started writing and publish probably We Daren't Go a-Hunting for Fear of Little Men. I have a ton of stuff outlined and written for this, lots of lore and world building but I have no drive to work on it anymore. I hope to one day finish it as I love the world I created for this one.

16. What are your writing strengths? I get a lot of compliments on my characterizations, which I am really, really proud of as that was one of the reasons it took me so long to start writing fanfiction.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Being descriptive. I tend to do a lot of "telling" instead of "showing" when I write but is something that I'm working on and since I have less then 2 years under my belt I am trying to be forgiving to myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Ive done it before and I don't mind it in small amounts. 19. First fandom you wrote for? Dune! The Dune 2021 movie opened the gates for me in a huge way. I joined my first discord server, started writing, got back into art in a serious/consistent way and I am just so happy.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? This is another hard one as Ive loved quite a few of my works Dune: At the Touch of You The Last Kingdom: The Sharpest Lives House of the Dragon: Flesh of the Dragon

(no pressure tag) @imnotoverlyobsessive @nights-ofren @chompchompluke @whitedarkmoonflower @lavida-quenofue @simpfornegan @ulfrsmal

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Not a prompt, your post CoLS fic got me thinking... would lbotw really happen the same if Malec were broken up? I mean, it was Alec who called Catarina and later rallied the team together, Magnus on the other hand was hellbent on not asking anyone for help and was confident he and Alec could solve it on their own.

Anyway I imagine he just shows up at Alec’s house one night all like "Hi I kind of met Shinyun again and she stabbed me twice with this thorn thing and now I'm dying* and um anyways I kind of wanted to see you before I die."

*Dying because there's no way he'll take the third thorn and become Sammael's minion, he's way too stubborn for that. Plus his whole history of "I hope someone kills me if I ever become evil"

hello laks. Hi.

You got me thinking as well lol. I think it would’ve gone somehow similar but also quite different if malec had not gotten back together.

Like the plot would 100% definitely happen in my opinion. Shinyun and Sammael would still act like their crazy selves lol. But I think Magnus and Alec would def react a bit differently.

It would be less chiller in my opinion? Because remember TLBOTW Alec being horny as fuck??? my mans would be absolutely going insane if he didn’t get to kiss Magnus every five minutes. I think it would be somehow more angsty because like??? how do I express my undying love (from both of them) in a very chill and friendly way?

Magnus would resist more in opening up but what you said is so spot on—this unhinged man would definitely knock on Alec’s door five minutes after getting snapped.

And even if they’re not together, he’d still trust Alec to kill him if he were to turn fully evil. They’re just stupid and insane like that sjsjskskslllljsjs. But my mans alec would be 70000% more unhinged because they don’t have Max here to think about (even though he was unhinged even when max was in the picture lmao)

[foodsies4me]

First sentence pattern game!

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten posted fics to see if there's a pattern.

Thank you for the tag @myulalie!

Apollo: Blood Wars (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 34k, WIP)

"- same modus operandi as before, Sir,” Clearwater reports wearily, handing him the field report Pardieu had written.

Tangled feelings and wordless pain (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 6k)

Magnus knows the moment they meet.

The Past Bleeds Golden (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 1k9, WIP)

Unlike most, Magnus never knew a world without soulmates and promises of eternal love.

Bridges Over Lakes of Salt (Shadowhunters, T at the moment though Malec are pushing it in some of the future chapters, Malec, 39k, WIP)

It started with a cough.

Crow's no good very bad day (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 6k - not a WIP but there is a chapter that will still come so not not a WIP either)

Crow crashes to the ground with a muffled curse and another bruise to his ego because of course he does.

New acquaintances and mounts of snark (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 6k)

“Miss Loss,” a mousy voice calls from behind Catarina, shy and unsure and far too nervous to come bearing anything remotely close to good news.

Apples, Strawberries And Snow-white Unicorns (Shadowhunters, G, Malec, 8k)

“I promise promise.”

All Was Golden - Tumblr prompts & Outtakes (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 3k)

Magnus wakes up to muted lights and the familiar smells of sandalwood and melting butter hanging in the air.

And I can smell the smoke of hell in every stitch and seam (Shadowhunters, T, Malec, 3k3)

Blood-splattered skin and glowing eyes.

Two Minutes And Twenty Seconds (Shadowhunters, G, Malec, 2k2)

Three minutes and twenty-five seconds, that’s how long it takes for Magnus to regret every word he’d said that morning.

Pattern: A number of these start with someone being hurt or ill in some way. Or at least are angsty in some sense and yeah that sounds about right, lol. Also, I apparently make it a habit to keep the first sentence on the short side, didn't know that one.

Tagging without any pressure whatsoever: @echo-bleu, @miss-mouse, @demy85, @to-the-stars-writing, @lawsofchaos1, and anyone else who sees this from me and wants to participate.

[khaleesiofalicante]

It's 1:30 and I'm in my feels

About two years ago, I was browsing the malec tag on tumblr and came across a post praising a fic called True Love Never Dies. I was intrigued, and decided to check it out. What followed was months and months of reading through all of your works and being amazed at the talent you held. You quickly became my favorite author and I was in awe of your capacity to create such deep, creative, loveable and sometimes angsty af stories. And then we became friends. And I'm so glad we did. You are an unbelievably kindhearted, thoughtful, funny, smart person and to have met you and spent time with you is something I'll always be grateful for. Now you're so much more than my favorite author. You're someone I can freely send poorly framed selfies to, someone who's so full of knowledge, someone who has a impeccable sense of style, someone incredebly generous, someone who's very fun to get wine-drunk with, someone I loved spending time with, and so much more

Thank you for being my friend, I love you very much 💚

I woke up to this and I am a puddle of emotions 🫠

I am SO grateful for whatever force or fate that brought me to you. I've always believed stories bring people together and I've met so many amazing people because of tsc, but I never thought my own stories would help me meet amazing people. It's one of the reasons why I feel so motivated to write.

Getting to meet you in person was like a dream (and a little surreal). Remember when I was trying to write and you were sitting right there and I was like "THIS IS WEIRD".

I always feel like the characters in my stories are too fictitious. A little 'unrealistic' because they are either too cool (like max) or too progressive (like rafael) or too badass (like anjali) or too nice (like david).

Then I meet people like you and get to know you and spend time with you and realize...nah, it's not too unrealistic. Because people like you exist. Thank you for being you and thank you for inspiring me and giving me faith in my characters.

I know I said it before, but I'll say it again. You were the best thing about Paris. I cannot think of a bigger compliment than that because Paris was pretty fucking awesome.

Thank you for finding me and staying with me. I love you very much too ♥️

[alexanderlightweight]

WED PROMPT: Alec's Shadowhunters trying to give Magnus the shovel talk but he's just relieved he's finally met people who actually give a damn about Alec's well-being

Vs

Raph, Cat, and Ragnor trying to give Alec the shovel talk and he's passing with flying colors

hey anon! thank you for the prompt!

it was a good prompt but I'm going to have to decline filling this one because I don't like shovel talks and I also found how the show handled the one to be incredibly disrespectful and it would be the height of impropriety for Alec's subordinates to interfere in a negative way in his love life and relationships.

(btw these are personal headcanons, there is nothing wrong with other headcanons but i'm autistic as fuck and sometimes my headcanons makes it hard for me to write certain ideas that i can't wrap my brain around)

Also Raphael is more of a son to Magnus but he's also not and Raphael is working for Magnus' abusive ex, so its not his right either.

Cat and Ragnor aren't going to threaten someone Magnus cares for so deeply. They trust him and it would probably bring up a lot of insecurities from the time with Camille.

Basically, I really can't make it work in a way that wouldn't end up being very angsty and angry and I'd rather not write that for malec.

feel free to send a different prompt in and I hope that makes sense <3

lumine

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

uneasy lies the head

Malec | Rated general | tw mention of corporal punishment 

Day 7: Shaking Hands | Silent Panic Attack

Summary: Alec's fourteenth birthday dawned bright and sunny. 

Or, Maryse and Robert are shitty parents and Alec has self-worth issues and far too many responsibilities for his age.

A/N: it's my birthday so alec birthday fic ~~~~ except ANGSTY

Read it on AO3 or below the cut.

Alec’s fourteenth birthday dawned bright and sunny, unlike Maryse’s expression when she summoned him to her office. 

He’d known it was coming — he’d messed up yesterday, after all, allowing a Dahak demon to get away from him while he was overwhelmed by six other Dahak. It’d been a foolish mistake, to be walking alone at night, to enter the alleyway so carelessly and to lose his phone before he managed to call for backup, and he deserved whatever berating he received. 

Robert had already scolded him for it. Any good Shadowhunter should be able to hold off six demons; Jace could do it easily, so why not Alec; he’d been spending too much time training with his bow and not enough with a sword. All true, of course, and they cut deeper for it, although Alec had not let his flinch show on his face. It was a relief when Robert left off berating him to move on to Alec’s punishment, forty lashes with an adamas whip and ten extra hours of training per week for the next three months. 

Maryse’s lecture would be worse — it always was. Nothing Alec did was ever good enough; no matter how hard he tried, he always failed to meet her standards. He was a Lightwood, and Lightwoods had to be the best. With Jace at Alec’s side, he could never be the best, and sometimes he resented the other boy for that. 

Not for long, though. Jace couldn’t help being naturally good with a blade, nor was it his fault that Alec had never been able to achieve the same level of mastery. Jace could beat some of the adult Shadowhunters, which was a significant blow to their pride; Alec might have been the best in his year, but he could never measure up to the golden boy of the generation. 

Alec kept his face still and silent throughout her lecture, even as his soul flayed open at her words. He knew it was all true; he refused to be so weak as to show his pain at how little she thought of him. 

And she had a new failure to add to the tally: Jace and Izzy had snuck out again last night, while Alec had been out. He hadn’t even had a reason to be out; the oppressive atmosphere of the Institute had simply been too much for him, and he’d wandered out to the streets of New York to escape it all. He’d spent over an hour on Brooklyn bridge, wondering what it would be like to jump, hating himself for being tempted and for not jumping at all. He’d heard the demons on the way back, attacking a mundane, and he’d saved the mundane but failed to kill all the demons, which meant Maryse had needed to send out a patrol to get rid of the one that escaped. And in the meantime, Alec’s siblings had been at a club, which they were definitely not allowed to do. 

Jace and Izzy had never cared about what they were and weren’t allowed to do, though, and Alec did his best to preserve that innocence of consequences. Somehow, they’d managed to escape Maryse’s crushing rules, and they deserved a chance to rebel, to have fun. Normally, he’d cover for them whenever they snuck out, and nobody was any the wiser; last night, he’d been out, and so their rulebreaking had been discovered. 

“You are responsible for your siblings,” Maryse said, voice cool. “It is your job to keep them from getting into trouble, to keep them safe, to control them. You have failed.”

“I will not do so again,” Alec said, voice as carefully controlled as hers. “I accept full responsibility for their actions.”

She considered him a moment, mouth pursed into a moue of distaste, then nodded sharply. “Five more hours of training per week, for six months. Your parade rest needs more practice; spend an additional two hours every day holding it, this week.”

Alec nodded sharply. This week, he’d have four extra hours of training every day beyond his usual five, as well as whatever tactics, history, and politics assignments he received, and then patrols as well. Two hours of sleep per night, if he was lucky. 

Subject finished, Maryse dropped it without preamble and moved on to the next. “You are now of age to take on more duties within the Institute.”

That was true. At fourteen, with four years of training with runes, Shadowhunters were promoted to novice status and could join patrols; they could help with strategy, data analysis, anything an adult Shadowhunter could do, although in a limited capacity due to their inexperience. Alec, as the son of the Institute Heads, had been doing all that for two years already, but that was no reason not to ramp up his role. 

“Your father and I are leaving for Alicante in two hours, to remain there for a week,” Maryse went on. “You will be Acting Head in our absence.”

Acting Head. Maryse and Robert had only left at the same time for short spaces in the past, not long enough to require an official Acting Head, or only one of them had gone to Alicante while the other handled Institute business. Now, apparently, it was Alec’s job to fill in for them while they worked to keep up the prestige of the family name. 

Alec’s silence had been interpreted as acceptance, not that any other response was possible. Maryse turned back to the papers on her desk in curt dismissal, and Alec left the office on autopilot. 

Acting Head. He’d dreamed of becoming Head for years, but those dreams had always lain in the far-off future, past his age of majority at sixteen, likely not until his late twenties if not later. In two hours, Alec would hold the reins of the Institute in his hands, and he would be in charge for a week. 

In two hours, he would have to assume control. Alec’s brain slipped back into the strategising burnt into his bones by years of practice and training. He knew the patrol rosters adequately well, but he’d need to set those for the next week. Reports would need to be corrected, signed, then witnessed by two other Shadowhunters, as Alec was only Acting Head. Supply requisitions, even for everyday matters such as weapons and food, would need to be filled out by him; they’d also need to be witnessed, preferably by different people than the reports. He’d need a few hours to go over his Shadowhunters’ reports every day and make his own report for the day, along with compiling lists of consumption of material and people. And if any diplomatic problems with the Downworld showed up… well, Alec would simply hope nothing of the sort happened. On top of it all, every Shadowhunter-in-training needed to spend three hours per day training at minimum, two hours on patrol, and Alec had his four extra hours above and beyond that. 

The prospect was overwhelming, but Alec pushed that aside. Worrying about it would do nothing; he needed to organise himself and prepare to take over as well as he could. And he’d need to space out his rune usage; he wouldn’t be getting any sleep for the next few days, which meant using his stamina rune as often as he safely could. An iratze would help with the lashes on his back, but it would also mean extra rune usage, which would give him rune exhaustion faster; it was better to simply bear the pain. He had practice. 

The Head’s office was off-limits to anyone under sixteen who had not been specifically invited there, which meant Alec wouldn’t have access to his parents’ paperwork, and he’d need to find a place to work from. His room? No, too informal; he’d take a desk in the library, where at least he’d have access to the records in the Institute of the last few decades. He turned and headed in that direction. 

Desk found and stationary and tablet gathered together, Alec set about learning what he could about the workings of the Institute in its day-to-day detail. He knew such things in the abstract, and he had a relatively good grasp of New York’s system, but he hadn’t been training to enter this position so soon, which meant there was a lot he needed to know. 

Two hours later, a fire message fluttered into the air, alerting him to his new, official status now that Maryse and Robert were in Alicante. Alec took a deep breath and dove back into the sea of paperwork. 

With practice, he knew he’d be able to go through this faster — if he knew the nature of every patrol sent out, he wouldn’t need to spend unnecessary time trying to figure that out from the reports, on top of corroborating each report with the reports of the other members of the patrol, correcting errors, and signing off. He’d recruited Eliza Bellefleur — she’d been at New York for a while — as both a witness and somebody to teach him more about the workings of the Institute; his second witness was Jake Stormheart, who’d broken an arm the day before and wasn’t sufficiently healed to go on patrol yet. 

He wanted to study his parents’ supply requisitions to base his own on, but those were locked up in the Head’s office, so pushing back the mounting anxiety, he resorted to the archived requisitions — most of them at least fifty years old, but it was better than nothing, and served as a template for his own. Stormheart was getting bored, so Alec sent him off to train and requested Georgia Brownwain in his stead; while Stormheart had been quietly disapproving of having Alec in charge, Brownwain was overtly dismissive of his right to be Acting Head, and objected to any errors she could find in Alec’s paperwork. 

He hated to abandon the still-growing stack of paperwork, but when one o’clock struck, he was left with no choice but to leave so that he could put in his required training hours before finishing what paperwork he could and then going on patrol at ten. Alec spent five hours working on his sword forms, and then returned to the library, arms and legs aching and blood dripping down his back thanks to the previous day’s lashes. He had two hours to spend holding his parade rest, and then he could return to his daunting pile of reports and forms and planning and patrol schedules. Showering and re-bandaging his back was an unacceptable waste of time, so he’d simply have to deal with the blood and sweat. 

While forcing his muscles to remain locked in parade rest despite their ache, Alec debated the relative merits of doing his tactics analysis due the next day or skipping them in favour of Institute matters. The Institute came first, of course, but if he failed to submit the analysis, he’d be assigned extra work the next day, which would be a problem — unless he simply skipped all the assignments for this week. That would have consequences, likely sixty or more lashes if Alec was lucky, more training hours if he was unlucky, but at least it would only start after Maryse and Robert were back from Alicante. 

He’d only just come to the decision when the door to his room banged open and two Shadowhunters stormed in — Georgia Brownwain, arm bleeding, and Lukas Silverstone, chest slashed open from shoulder to hip and only beginning to heal from the iratze he’d applied. 

The two Shadowhunters had been on patrol together, Alec knew. Whyever they were here, it almost certainly brought bad news. 

“Acting Head,” Brownwain hissed, her dismissal of Alec’s right to bear the title clear in her tone. “I demand that Silverstone receive punishment for this.”

“Explain,” Alec said curtly, imitating his parents’ tone although he knew well that he had none of their experience or authority. He didn’t let his posture shift; if he did, he’d need to restart the two hours, and he was already nearly halfway through. 

The story spilled out in bits and pieces. Brownwain and Silverstone had been at each other’s throats for years, now, and their arguments were legendary, but this was a serious escalation: while on patrol together, Brownwain had drawn a blade on Silverstone; he’d cut her arm just before a demon had arrived, and he claimed she’d stood back rather than helping him fight it off, leading to his injury. 

The blame for this, Alec knew, would fall squarely on his head. Yes, it’d been Maryse and Robert who’d determined the patrol schedules, but the fight had occurred while Alec was Acting Head; he was responsible for their misdemeanours, just as he had been for Jace and Izzy’s. No matter; that was in the future, and Alec had no time to worry about it when the two Shadowhunters were nearly fighting in front of him. 

“Stop,” he said, doing his best to project his voice so that both of them could hear him above their arguing. Silverstone fell silent, but Brownwain finished her point before quieting; it was a blatant display of mistrust, but perhaps a justified one. 

“No patrols for either of you for a month. Silverstone, a week of ichor duty for harming a fellow Shadowhunter. Brownwain, doubled training hours and a re-testing on the Shadowhunter’s Codex for remissness in protecting your team.” That would keep them apart for a while, in addition to hopefully teaching them a lesson; the re-testing on the Codex likely wouldn’t teach Brownwain much, but perhaps she’d be slower to let a fellow Shadowhunter be hurt in the future. 

Silverstone nodded respectfully enough, but Brownwain scowled and muttered something about a pathetic excuse for a Head. Alec’s parents would’ve asked her to repeat herself, then doubled her punishment for insubordination, but Alec felt the truth of her words in his bones. He was standing in front of them in his bedroom because he’d messed up the night before and was being punished for it; he was sweaty, there was probably blood on his shirt, and he was fourteen years old. There was no reason at all for her to respect him. 

Glading malevolently, Brownwain left without the proper salute, and Silverstone followed her. Alec didn’t let his strict parade rest drop, despite the exhaustion and guilt and pain weighing down his shoulders, until the clock struck eight and he relaxed with a sigh. 

The pain doubled at the movement, training aches combined with lashes that had scabbed over in that posture and were opening again as he shifted. His muscles would be in more pain tomorrow — standing still for two hours directly after training was never a good idea, but there’d been no time for stretching — but that was a matter for later. 

He headed back to the library. There were two hours until patrol, which was nowhere near enough time to do everything he needed to do: sign off on reports, submit that supply requisition, and now he had to submit the paperwork for Brownwain and Silverstone’s punishments — punishments his parents would almost certainly disagree with. It took an effort, but he swallowed down the anxious tension in his throat. 

Somebody approached with a quick step, and Alec raised his head, refusing to let his face show the desperate panic pulling at his chest. “Yes, Bellefleur?”

Eliza looked almost like she pitied him, which was absolutely unacceptable, but Alec had no energy to spare to tell her off for it. “Isabelle and Jace,” she told him reluctantly. “They’ve snuck out again.”

For a moment, irrational anger rose in Alec’s chest — fury that they’d chosen today of all days to run off, today when he had no time to think about them or find them alibis, today when every fault was another punishment to add to his already too-full schedule. Only for a moment, though; then his anger faded, because usually they took advantage of every time Maryse was away to sneak out, and they likely hadn’t realised how little time he had to cover for them. 

“I’ll deal with them when they get back,” Alec told her, dismissal clear in his tone, because he wasn’t sure if he could keep up his calm, collected façade a moment longer. 

“Yes, sir,” she said, and left him alone in the library. 

Alec let out a harsh breath, the worries and fears spilling up from his heart and polluting his mind. There was so much to do, so much responsibility to hold, so many boxes to check and people to take care of — but he couldn’t even take care of his own siblings. If he couldn’t do that, how could he expect to lead an Institute? What was he doing? 

He knew that every moment he wasted like this, worrying and feeling guilty rather than working, was a moment he wouldn’t be able to get back. He had two hours until patrol. He needed to make the most of his time. 

But for once, he couldn’t shove down the terror, couldn’t shut away his anxious thoughts in a box somewhere deep in his heart where they wouldn’t spill out. The box had been blown wide open, and everything was pouring back up, invading his mind until he couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stand there and tremble. 

His hands were shaking. Part of him whispered stupid, you can’t write like that, don’t be so weak, but most of him was caught up in sheer desperation and unreadiness. Why had Maryse left the Institute in his care? How was he supposed to do it all?

She left it with you because you should be able to do it, Alec reminded himself. Don’t prove her wrong. 

But another voice whispered louder in his ears, louder than his rabbiting heart. You have failed. His mother, only that morning, talking about Izzy and Jace — he’d failed a second time today, for that, and he’d fail again and again before the day was out, and he couldn’t think through this logically because logic told him he had no chance. 

Alec clapped a shivering hand over his mouth to keep in the almost-sob, and shoved back the tears rising to his eyes with a desperate effort. He was fourteen, one step closer to being a proper Shadowhunter. His parents were relying on him. He was having a silent panic attack which he did not have the time for. 

He straightened his body roughly, and felt the scabs on his back break open once more. The pain was sharp, and he used the moment of clear-headedness it gave him to shove down doubts and fears and panic. That was pointless. No real Shadowhunter would feel that way. 

He’d failed too many times already to allow himself to fail more than he absolutely needed to. 

Alec breathed in deeply, ignoring the way it shuddered in his chest, took a seat at his desk, and pulled the first sheet of paper towards himself. 

~

Alec’s twenty-fourth birthday dawned grey and rainy, but with an arm around his husband, he didn’t care. 

He’d settled into his new role as Inquisitor quite well by now, and although the day-to-day struggle of it was frustrating, he knew the Clave was changing. He was making it change. He had a purpose, and the hope of achieving it; he knew what he needed to do, and he could do it. Confidence had bled into his shoulders to replace the tension he’d felt there for years upon years. 

And to top it all off, he had the man in his arms, the man he’d loved for nearly two years now and knew he would never let go of. With Magnus at his side, he could do anything. 

Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane was at peace.

[arialerendeair]

i would love any fic about alec saving magnus's life ❤🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏

SHUT UP I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR HURT/COMFORT AND THIS IS THE KINDA STUFF THAT REALLY JUST HITS ME SO HARD IN THE BEST WAYS UGH.

THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING - BUT YOU MIGHT NEED TISSUES ON THE WAY.

~!~!~

They'd talked about it once.

Only once.

The phone call.

It was a risk of both their jobs. One that they were always willing to take, a responsibility they had taken on. That didn't make the conversation about it any easier, and both of them were aching once they were finished.

But in the worst case scenario, they would do everything in their power to be there. No matter what happened, they would.

--

When Alec's phone rang, he was in the middle of crossing out the fourth instance of the word fuck in his parabatai's latest report on the patrol from two nights previous that had put more than six shadowhunters into the infirmary. So when he picked it up with a curt, "Lightwood-Bane," he wasn't expecting the other person to stay on the phone long.

"Alec."

Catarina's voice was anguished and the fear there froze Alec. He dropped his pen, his blood going ice cold as he clenched his eyes shut. He swallowed and grabbed his jacket, blade and stele, racing out of his office, walking as fast as he could without causing a panic through the Institute, his phone held to his ear. "Portal outside the Institute," he ordered, listening to Catarina's shaky breaths.

The portal swirled to life barely a foot from him and Alec was through it in seconds, prepared for anything as he hung up his phone. He didn't expect to see Magnus, kneeling next to four children, the veins on his arms black, drawing black magic out of them and into himself. Alec tightened his hand on the hilt of his blade before he let it go and turned to Catarina.

"He's taking the poison out of them and into himself. There's no other way to get it out of them," Catarina explained, her voice soft. "I'd be helping him but…"

"But I told you no," Magnus snarled, tears tracking down his cheeks. His hands shook as he held them out over the four children who hadn't deserved this, who didn't deserve to have their lives end so early and so painfully. "I won't do that to Madzie."

Distantly, Alec heard Catarina make an angry noise that was part sob and knelt behind Magnus', reaching out to stretch his arms over Magnus', his hands on top of his, pressing a soft kiss to Magnus' neck, helping to steady him. "I've got you," Alec whispered, his voice soft. "I love you."

Magnus choked on a sob. "I can't stop the spell now that I've started it," he whispered.

"I understand," Alec said, his voice soft. "How long is it going to take?"

Magnus felt the tears runing down his cheeks at the whisper into his neck. "I'm not sure. Maybe twenty minutes?"

"Okay," Alec said, nuzzling into Magnus' neck. "I love you."

Magnus sucked in a hard breath, his chest aching under the weight of the power that he was using to press into the kids. "I love you too." When Alec didn't say anything, just pressed in closer to him, he blinked hard against the tears. "You aren't angry with me."

"No," Alec said, keeping his voice calm. Magnus needed him to be calm right now. "You wouldn't be who you are if you didn't give everything you could to protect someone. Especially children." He paused before continuing. "You've caught who did this to them?"

"Banished to the deepest depths of hell," Magnus snarled, even as he watched more of the black magic sink into his hands. His fingers were almost entirely black now, the poison lethal. He was glad that Alec didn't flinch away. "He will pay every day for what he did to them."

"Good." Alec took a deep breath and nuzzled into Magnus' neck again. "Take my strength if you need it."

Magnus swallowed. "Alec, I can't-"

"Magnus," Alec said, his voice firming. "I can feel how tired you are. Take my strength if you need it."

Magnus closed his eyes and sagged back into Alec, nodding carefully. "All right, I will."

"Good," Alec said with a nod. "Will it poison me?"

Magnus swallowed hard. "I won't let it." Even now, he could feel his magic reaching for the stores that Alec kept locked tightly away except when they were like this. Under the touch of his magic, Alec's soul bloomed like a flower and flooded him with magic, making him cry harder.

"I'm sorry," Magnus whispered, clenching his eyes shut. "Not, not for-"

"Shhh," Alec soothed, kissing Magnus' neck again. "You don't need to apologize. I understand. It's okay, Magnus. It's okay. I'm here, I love you, and I'm not going to leave. I'll hold you in place until the spell is done." Distantly, Alec heard Catarina sob again and was glad that he'd guessed right about that particular aspect of this spell. "You're okay."

Magnus let out a small noise and pressed closer, back against Alec. "I'm still sorry. We should have had so much more time, Alexander. So much more. This isn't-"

"We have time right now," Alec corrected, his voice soft. "It's just me here, Magnus." He closed his eyes and let out a small, shaky breath. "It's going to be okay, I've got you. You can tell me anything you want."

"I can't fit a lifetime in a matter of minutes!" Magnus snarled, tears burning his eyes. This was so unfair. He wouldn't take back casting the spell, not to save the lives of the kids beneath his hands, but it was robbing a life from him that he hadn't wanted to give up like this.

Alec hummed quietly. "I understand." He looked down at Magnus' hands and threaded their fingers together, holding Magnus' hands still, watching as his own hands started to go faintly black from the power that Magnus was drawing from him. "I think I would have brought kids up to you next year. How I wanted them. Whether warlock, or shadowhunter, both of our worlds, there are always children who need families. Would you have wanted that?"

Magnus bit down a quiet, keening whine. "Yes," he whispered. "Oh, yes, Alec. I think I would have made a terrible father, but-"

"No," Alec corrected, kissing Magnus' neck. "You would have been a magnificent father," he said. "You would have spoiled our kids absolutely rotten, and they would have been fashionistas in their own right."

Against his will, Magnus laughed, smiling faintly. "They'd look so good in little suits or dresses, wouldn't they?"

"As though you'd let them be anything else," Alec said, smiling. "Our house would be even more chaos than it already is, and we would love it every single day." He tightened his arms around Magnus when there was a whimper of pain and he felt the draw on his magic get stronger. The black lines were racing up his arms now.

"What else?" Magnus whispered, almost afraid to ask.

Alec let out a slow breath. "I had plans for a second honeymoon, since we never got to properly take our first, on our ten year anniversary." He smiled into Magnus' neck. "I'd planned to take a full month off and you could take us wherever you wanted in the world and we could get good and lost, as you are always so fond of saying."

"That sounds amazing." Magnus swallowed and watched the kids under him start to breathe easier at last, their magical signatures starting to light up now that they weren't fighting off the cursed poison that had been in their veins. "I would have taken you anywhere and everywhere you ever wanted."

Alec fell silent, breathing slowly against his neck and Magnus managed a quiet laugh before admitting. "There's still so much sex magic I wanted to teach you."

Alec's eyes snapped open and he laughed through the tears. "Magnus!"

"What, it's the truth!" Magnus shot back. "Besides, you like broadening your horizons. Always enjoyed yourself, if I'm not mistaken." He closed his eyes and let out a small breath. "I wanted to take you to get a proper bespoke suit. See one precisely tailored for you, not just because I fucked around with magic."

Alec hummed. "That sounds interesting. What color would you see me in?"

"I'd have a tux made for you, first," Magnus answered, feeling Alec laugh against his neck. His eyesight was starting to get a little blurry, so he closed his eyes. "Then I'd have a few suits made for you for work. Nice dark colors, like you prefer. A faint pinstripe, because I think it would look better than you believe. Oxfords, not brogues, of course."

"Always fashion forward," Alec teased.

"They're timeless, Alexander. Don't mock a good shoe," Magnus quipped.

"I always mock your shoes, they look painful."

Magnus laughed again and shook his head. He felt the poison sink deeper into him and his heart make a stutter step under the weight, making him grunt. "I'm glad you're here," he whispered. "I knew you'd come, but. It's… I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Alec whispered, keeping his voice just as soft. "Are you scared?"

Magnus nodded, his throat tightening, though he didn't know if that was from the poison or Alec's question.

"I'll stay here until it's done," Alec promised. "I'm not going to let go. And the last thing you're going to hear is me whispering how much I love you, and that's never going to change." He took another slow breath. "Then, we're going to take those four kids whose lives you saved, and I'm going to take them home. I'm going to take care of them, because that's what you'd want to do."

Magnus nodded again, swallowing hard.

"Pull more magic," Alec insisted softly. "I've got plenty more, and you need it. I want to be here for you."

Those words alone made him cry harder, but Magnus felt his magic reach out for Alec, nestling deeper into him, as deep as he'd gone that very first time with Luke, until his heartbeat was sync'd with Alec. "I love you," he whispered through the tears.

"I love you too, Magnus. I love you so much. I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving you. Never doubt that for a second. I love you. I love you," Alec repeated, tightening his hold as Magnus started to sway, steadying him. The poison was almost entirely out of the kids now, which meant they didn't have much longer.

"Alec, I…" Magnus' throat tightened and he clenched down on Alec's hands, glad that Alec steadied him. "Love, love, love y-y…"

"Shhh," Alec soothed again, burying his face near Magnus' ear. "I love you, Magnus. I'm right here. I love you. I love you."

All Magnus could hear, all Magnus could feel, was Alec, and the burn of the poison.

"I love you, Magnus."

"You hear me, I love you."

"I'm going to love you forever."

Magnus felt himself start to drift, heard the shouts int he distance. He was so tired.

"I love you."

"I have you Magnus. It's okay love."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you, Magnus Lightwood-Bane."

"It's okay, Magnus. It's okay to let go. I love you. I have you."

"I love…"

"…..Magnus…."

When the world went silent, one last tear fell down his cheek before Magnus let go.

--

--

"Catarina?" Alec asked, carefully keeping Magnus supported. He swallowed, impossibly hard. Magnus had gone limp, but…

"Is he…?" Catarina couldn't make herself finish the words.

Alec's eyes darted frantically between the kids and Magnus' hands. There was no more magic going between them. "Catarina," Alec repeated, firming his voice so he got her attention properly. "The spell is done, right?"

Catarina frowned. "What…" She stepped forward and nodded. "Yes, but-"

"Magnus has a pulse," Alec said, looking up at her from where he was still pressed up against every inch of Magnus. "It's slow. He's unconscious. But he has a pulse."

In an instant, Catarina was kneeling between both of them, flying over Magnus. Her breath caught and she lifted her eyes to Alec's. "It's you."

Alec swallowed. "Explain. Is he-"

"The poison doesn't affect you. Look." She pointed to the marks on his hands that were already starting to fade. "That poison has to go somewhere, but it's being... fuck if I had to guess your angelic magic is destroying it. By making it cursed, it's become directly counterable by your blood."

"Right," Alec said, his voice hoarse as he stared at her. "You need to give Magnus as much of my energy as possible without killing me to burn the poison out of him, and you need to call Jace."

Catarina frowned. "Your parabatai?"

"Yeah," Alec said. "He's going to keep you juiced up, and he's going to tell you how close is too close after I pass out." He held onto Magnus tighter, and if he focused, he could feel the faintest of tugs from Magnus' magic still. "Hold on, love, hold on."

--

Magnus had never expected to open his eyes again after he closed them.

But opening them to the sight of the Institute infirmary, Alexander in the bed beside him, and Jace, looking tired in casual clothes next to the bed was not what he expected to see.

Magnus frowned and stared at blondie, but Jace was engrossed in his book until he managed to flap an arm enough to shift the blankets and draw his attention.

Jace's eyes widened. "Oh shit, you're awake. Here, hold on."

Magnus leaned in and took a few sips from the straw that was held out to him and relaxed back in the pillow, looking from blondie to Alec, who was resting beside him peacefully. A few more blinks and he realized that Alec was still holding his hand.

"Yeah, Alec was the only thing keeping you alive for a while there, so we had to keep you two as close as possible," Jace said. "Turns out nephilim are immune to that poison - so when he started taking that into himself, it was less poison you absorbed. He got enough, early enough, that finishing the spell didn't kill you, and we got you back here."

Magnus' eyes widened and he looked down at Alec. "He's, he's-"

Jace smiled and reached out to give Magnus' arm a squeeze. "He's fine. Bone fucking tired and needs to sleep for a week it feels like, but trust me, if he was in a bad way, I wouldn't be walking around grinning."

That was a good point and Magnus acknowledged it with a nod, scooting closer to Alec to nuzzle into his shoulder. "He'll wake up soon?"

"He's awake now, you're loud, Jace," Alec said grumpily, turning his back on his laughing parabatai to face Magnus. He relaxed at the sight of golden eyes and smiled. "I've been awake a few times. You've been out for two days. That's how long it took to get all the poison out of you and into me."

Magnus let out a shaky breath. "He's okay?"

"You're both okay," Jace said. He tapped a hand on his jaw. "Catarina said something about your magical energies being permanently intertwined due to how much magic you were sharing, but Alec feels fine, still has his runes and your magic is coming back, so that sounds like wins across the board and we'll figure the rest out later."

Magnus felt his heart skip several painful, agonizing beats. He'd heard of that happening with other magical beings and it meant-

"Stop panicking," Alec said softly, staring at Magnus. "Jace, give us a few minutes and stand guard?"

"You got it!" Jace said, pushing himself up and out of the chair.

Magnus swallowed hard. "Alec-"

"I know," Alec interrupted. "Catarina already told me." He watched Magnus' expression crumble and scooted closer. "You know, I left one thing out of our future, Magnus."

The statement threw him off and he frowned. "You did?" Magnus whispered.

"Yeah. Probably the most important one, now." Alec cleared his throat and smiled. "Find a way to stay with my husband forever. It was top of the list, but according to Catarina, sounds like I can cross that one off."

Magnus' breath caught. "Wh, what?"

Alec grinned and pressed their foreheads together. "Now you're stuck with me. How about that?"

Magnus reached out and wrapped his arm around Alec, pressing in as close as he could get, swallowing down another hiccuping sob. "Sounds, fuck, sounds perfect, Alexander."