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[m-comma]

Laios wip im working on >:)

[aszles]

since my first pinned post had a tierlist of csm characters, i decided to redo it as a tierlist of Fujimoto works instead! (i had only read csm when i made this sideblog) it's a lot less ever-changing so i feel a bit safer keeping something like this at the top of my blog lol...

within the tiers there is no specific order, they're just the things i happened to put in first. if you wanna make one here's the template! (made by yours truly)

because i'm a nerd you can read my opinions about each work below the cut~

S TIER

Chainsaw Man - i mean, csm is just awesome. in all honesty, this manga has changed my life. i KNOW that sounds silly and corny but it's genuinely true. i have been able to get past a lot of my struggles and develop so much as a person since starting this manga. as a fun bonus i feel like i've finally started improving my art again (or at least changing it enough to feel fresh) after like 3 years. i can't really describe how much csm has done for me, but if i had told myself from 2021 that this would happen i would never believe it (especially because i had written off this series for some personal reasons...lol) but yeah. i think i'll forever be grateful for what Chainsaw Man has done for me.

Look Back - i think Look Back is seriously the best piece of media i have ever experienced. i don't think i have ever seen a story so beautifully crafted as this manga, it made me sob when i read it. i remember having to move the manga away from myself so i wouldn't get tears on it. at the time of writing this i am SO SO excited to watch the movie, whenever that will be. i will cry and throw up watching that thing LOL.

Nayuta of the Prophecy - ok maybe i don't TECHNICALLY believe this is an S tier work, but Nayuta is just such a lovable character that i can't possibly rank her any lower. Fujimoto was right to adapt her into csm because she deserves it!! however despite that, this oneshot is the only one that i genuinely wish he would make a sequel to. i think oneshot Nayuta and csm Nayuta are pretty different, so they still don't feel like the same character - i would love to see oneshot Nayuta's personality and relationship with her brother continue to develop!

A TIER

Sisters - one of the few other works i had heard anything about before i started exploring Fujimoto's other stuff, and i definitely felt apprehensive about it. but wow, the fact that Fujimoto is able to take the concept of "girl non-consensually paints her sister naked and it gets displayed on the school wall for everyone to see" and NOT make it weird is crazy! a sweet oneshot that i enjoyed, and love the nuance that was able to be created in such a short amount of time.

Woke-Up-as-a-Girl Syndrome - a really cute take on a silly trope that can often be handled... oddly. i love how much the characters in this really feel like teenagers, doing stupid things but being completely earnest all the while. (Spoilers) i really like how it ends with Toshihide being adamant that he is still male, and also Rie still loving him as he is. very sweet!

Love is Blind - it's no wonder Fujimoto won an honourable mention for this, it's such an adorable and funny oneshot. i was giggling the whole time reading it! i don't really have much to say about it, but i definitely enjoyed it.

Fire Punch - i don't really know where to start with Fire Punch, but wow. it is seriously so impressive to me how good Fujimoto is at tackling such sensitive topics, not shying away from them while also clearly not glorifying them. i also think a big place where Fire Punch shines is character relationships, especially Agni and Togata. they fucked me UPPPPP. it goes off the rails a bit near the end, but i also never got the feeling that it WASN'T what Fujimoto intended with this series. i may not quite get the ending, but it didn't ruin anything for me and i think the rest of Fire Punch is really good at what it does. plus the art is AWESOME ?????

B TIER

Goodbye, Eri - ohhh people might not like me for this one... i'm sorry guys, i just honestly didn't get this manga. i'll definitely reread in the future (me and my sister still haven't finished our sticky notes to read it blurry/clear) but for now i can't rank it any higher. i didn't feel much reading it, and the ending definitely confused me a lot lol. love the art though!

Shikaku - this one's interesting! i thought the story was quite cute, and Shikaku herself is completely adorable. though Yugeru is ummm... not my type let's say. i also do wonder if Makima took any inspiration from Shikaku - she looks similar to her, which to be fair for Fujimoto works probably doesn't mean much (as a lot of his character's look similar to each other /pos), but a clearer comparison is both characters presenting eyeballs they stole from people. (also... if Makima is inspired by Shikaku, is Barem then inspired by Yugeru? yuck) anyways just my speculation, back to the point. the reason this doesn't make its way into A tier is because to me it doesn't really feel like a Fujimoto work? i'm not sure why, but yeah.

C TIER

Mermaid Rhapsody - this one's definitely cute, but as a result of Fujimoto trying to create a "normal story" it unfortunately loses all of the charm of Fujimoto works!! i want it to be weird and fucked up damnit!!!!! though he did succeed in his goal of creating a normal story, so i can't complain too much lol.

Sasaki Stopped a Bullet - i don't have anything against this oneshot, but i think it just doesn't particularly appeal to me. unfortunately nothing in this story grabbed me

D TIER

A Couple Clucking Chickens Were Still Kickin' in the Schoolyard - it's no real surprise this is here, considering it's Fujimoto's first work. overall it was pretty cute, but i'm not all that into aliens..? not much to say lol

if you read all this then thank you >_o

[athena5898]

Given the nature of my blog at this point, i tend to shy away from posting about media stuff. Buuuuut I think there are a lot of younger people experience this slightly "political" dude bro phenomenon so I kind of want to walk them through it. So Dawntrail the most recent ff14 expansion. Is actually pretty good. Now if you listen to some aspect of the community you are going to get some other........."perspectives" on that. Dawntrail is flawed, of course it is. This is the expansion that would have been in development during mid to post 2020 AND it's the expansion that needed to come around after Enwalker to build up the new story. Endwalker that spent YEARS building up to a climatic finish. What does this have to do with the first paragraph? Well, I'll tell you.

Dawntrail focuses on the story of a coming of age of a nontraditionally feminine woman lead Wuk Lamat (who is voiced by a trans voice actor) and we, the heroes of the world, are now going to help and take a back seat to this person. Who she and the entire expansion is based on Indigenous people from various parts of "America" so you know, they should be front a center and our out-of-town asses *should* take a seat in the back (some of you will read this and immediately go "oh that's why it's getting extra hate") If you do not know and was lucky enough to not be a woman or non cis het white male in the 90s trying to play video games or enjoy nerd culture....All of what I just stated is a big problem. Dude bros as I like to call them, (aka someone who you will always be curious if they were or would be part of Gamer Gate. Also please note a dude bro doesn't have to be a man...trust me on that) hate this kind of shit. They naturally feel threatened when the media's focus is not about them. So what do they do? They take legitimate criticism of something and BLOW IT THE FUCK UP. Suddenly that thing that was kinda annoying, is now just the fucking worst. A story beat drags on a little long? Worst media ever. A character has a minor plot hole? Worst media ever. dialogue a little blah at one point? Worst media ever. etc etc etc These are the same kinda people mind you who will write a 8 page essay how (insert average mid action movie here) is the most amazing masterpiece of a film. (which I don't really care about, but it shows that these people are not exactly the most objective purveyors of media arts as they like to claim to be when it's suddenly about their misogyny and white supremacy) I'm bringing this up cause I'll notice some well meaning people being confused saving things "well...I kinda get *this* part of the criticism but...not this other stuff. Why is it a big deal" or some version of this. They don't actually care that much, they just care that an Indegenous GNC cat woman is getting more screen time then their precious gods gift to Eorza WoL. If they had made this expansion about a white guy or our WoL and it wouldn't of gotten nearly the same level of backlash. People will disagree with me, but I'm sorry this is just a fact. And because this is the reading comprehension website, no it's not bad to dislike Dawntrail. No it isn't bad to think a character is annoying. But the patterns are there and the chances of this JUST being about the real issues is just fucking zero. You dont' spend that much time complaining about ONE character as the focus if it isn't about the bullshit dude bro gamer pride. Honestly given how fucking gay this game is I have no idea how these people play this game without burning up like a vampire touching sunlight ALSO...I'm a ex wow player who played that game for the story (I was 14, give me a break) from BC all the way up to 7.2. So I kinda know what i'm talking about when it comes to toxic dipshit gamer behavior *looks back at that last paragraph* god that's so fucking sad. Oh fun fact, according to Wuk Lamat's voice actor Sena Bryer, all voice acting for the new area in Dawntrail was given to Latino/Indigenous voice actors for every single character. (from this area of course) *edit* lol yeah anyone saying i'm wrong is just a fucking grifter or liar. Found this while looking something else up. You know it's bad when the god damn director has to step in and say "yo you little assholes cut it out" https://www.pcgamesn.com/final-fantasy-xiv-a-realm-reborn/naoki-yoshida-wuk-lamat

[eco-lite]

Volume 7 babyyy let’s go!

(But CW: sexual assault. I do include some quotes related to the assault here since I was recording my thoughts on it at the time.)

First of all, how gorgeous is this cover art?! They looks so good. This might be my favorite cover so far.

“Even now, twenty years later, I still haven’t found my ‘rightful place’” (6). Okay so we going Richard introspection hours. Love it!

“Prologue”

* Blogger!Seigi omg.

* I guess “Iggy” is pretty close in pronunciation to “Seigi” but it seems wild to call him that lol. Also, who is reading this blog???

* Lotus is Seigi’s favorite flower. Got it.

* I wish the blog posts had a different format or typeface than the main text. That would be really fun and easier to distinguish.

* For fuck’s sake, just call him!

* For real though, it is really easy to sympathize with Seigi’s doubts right now. Being in such a foreign place, just waiting around for things to happen. That would make anyone anxious and doubtful of their choice. “When you had too much time on your hands, your anxieties loomed bigger, like shadow puppets hit by the light” (23). Fr fr.

* Jeffrey is ultra-dramatic and mysterious as usual. This is going to be quite an experience.

“Day 1”

* It’s so wild to me that Seigi thinks Richard would tell him to quit his internship if he’s not settling in well. That’s not how I see Richard at all. Shouldn’t Seigi know that Richard would tell him a long story with a message about perseverance, likely with illusions to Richard’s own life that would fly right over Seigi’s head? Because that’s pretty clearly the standard. As always, Seigi is way too in his head.

* Ah, so the mentorship wasn’t supposed to be like this after all. It’s really cute to see Richard getting so indignant and protective of Seigi like this.

* The rapid shift in Richard’s tone once he thinks Seigi is distracted/being disingenuous gave me fucking whiplash.

* NOT Seigi blocking Richard from view of the staff guy who’s giving interested glances at him. 🫢

* Bro this is crazy. Who is this mysterious other British man? What’s his past with Richard? It’s so bad that Richard is drinking alcohol?? Living for the drama.

“Day 2”

* Richard wearing sunglasses inside? Uh oh, he got fucked up last night.

* Seigi once again defending Richard from the male cruise staff. At least Richard seemed to appreciate it.

* “Richard chuckled when he saw the fraught look on my face. I always thought he sounded a bit like a pigeon when he laughed like that” (77). Wtf why is that adorable?

* Ooh a rare Richard swear!

* Okay so whatever Richard doesn’t want Seigi to see at the jewelry showcase has to do with the darker sides of the world of gemstones. What have you gotten yourself into, Richard?

* I actually feel physically ill. Now it’s very clear why Richard didn’t want Seigi to be here. I didn’t think the “dark” aspects were going to hit quite so close to home. Seigi is focusing only on Karlsbrook because he’s filled with rage, but I really need to get a check in Richard rn please. OKAY SHIT, Richard keeps brushing Karlsbrook’s arm off his waist but he is not getting the hint. What a CREEP.

* This is genuinely so hard to read. I am right there with Seigi, struggling to restrain myself from doing something rash to (metaphorically) destroy this man. And there are so many bystanders doing nothing. God, this is painful.

* “‘I love beautiful things. I want beautiful things. I don’t want anything but beautiful things. And in that respect, nothing could be more desirable to a collector like myself than you’” (98). I’m going to fucking throw up. This is explaining so much about Richard’s trauma around compliments of his beauty. This blatant objectification is vile.

* What the fuck is this Karlsbrook guy’s deal? He clearly would have harassed Richard even if Seigi wasn’t there, but he seemed to do it more gleefully because it was in front of Seigi. What does he know about Seigi and Richard’s relationship? He marveled at the fact that Seigi actually showed up earlier. How did he know that there was a possibility he would? And how does he even know who Seigi is in the first place? This is so fucked up!

* And they’re distantly related?! Bro…

* Okay so if Jeffrey didn’t send Seigi those emails, it was definitely Karlsbrook. Why does he want Seigi there so badly?

* Anddd now he’s being framed for stealing a priceless ring. Okie dokie then.

* “Kindly uncle” is not the vibe I’m getting, my guy. “Stupid, elderly baby doll” is a much more apt description.

* Vince is a great character. He just seems like a nice, chill dude you’d want to hang out with. And I love when a character’s appearance doesn’t match their personality. It gets me every time.

* After Vince goes on a lecture about anime and manga figure 3D modeling: “I cautiously asked Vince if he liked anime and manga, and he politely ignored me. Got it” (151). This guy. What a kuudere.

* This story was just tough. Looking forward to the conclusion tomorrow.

“Day 3”

* Ooh, detective Seigi!

* I’m loving Seigi’s absolute audacity in this one.

* Seigi is so adhd-coded.

* “‘…What happened with that creep?��� ‘Just shut up for a bit.’ ‘Okay’” (190). I love their rapport. 😂

* Richard showing up looking gorgeous to kick ass at poker while subtly roasting the VP is so !! He’s truly serving here.

* “The man presenting his merciless flush of hearts had such a beautiful yet indifferent look in his eyes as he stared intently at the man across from him. ‘Shall we continue?’ (193). So cunty!

* “Richard always had fire in his eyes when he got angry. The melanin in his irises gave their blue a sort of undulating wave pattern, and when I looked at him, I got goosebumps. It made me feel like I’d laid eyes on something no mortal should ever see” (193-194). Seigi is in so deep, bro.

* “‘Thank you, Ricky. Not even Raphael’s Madonna is a match for the beauty of your fingers manipulating those cards. I wish you would use those fingers to toy with me.’ ‘My apologies, I’ve been suffering from some temporary hearing loss and did not catch what you just said.’ After replying with the most refined ‘Like hell I will,’ in history, Richard stepped back and left the two men at the table” (199). 🤮🤮🤮 Karlsbrook is literally a mustache-twirling villain, this is crazy. Great clapback though, Richard. Also, is anybody else so uncomfortable when people call Richard “Ricky?” It feels infantalizing and like such a violation of the image Richard wants to present himself as.

* I just looked up what happened to the Colonel Sanders statue in Dotonbori. Wow… Seigi is not fucking around.

* Why are Vince and Richard having slightly hostile banter right now?? This is hilarious but I feel like I missed something behind the scenes.

* VINCE WAS HIS ASSISTANT????? This is blowing my mind omg.

* AND IT WAS VINCE IN THE BAR THAT FIRST NIGHT??? Wild. Can’t believe Seigi suspected that from hearing his purposefully bad english. Seigi actually is a good detective, and he’s more observant than I give him credit for. How rude to hold out on the readers like that though!

* “‘That was the first time I’d ever felt that strongly that I wasn’t needed somewhere… I’ve never felt such heartache like the moment I realized that I could offer nothing of value to this person who was such a huge presence in my life’” (231). Ouchies. Boy, do I know that feeling. Poor Vince. It’s unfortunate that Vince felt his relationship with Richard was so one-sided. I hope he won’t always be bitter about their relationship. Even if he had said something to Richard back then, I think Richard would have gotten very closed off and defensive, since they didn’t have a super close personal relationship. They’ve both improved in their communication skills since then. And it seems like things are going quite well for Vince now. I wish that funky little guy the best, and I hope he and Seigi end up staying in touch.

* “The beautiful man threw off his jacket about 30 percent more aggressively than normal, rolled up his sleeves, and stood in front of the punching bag. He gave it a fierce one-two punch. Sometimes, humans just get the urge to suddenly practice boxing, and this seemed to be one such time for Richard” (245). I love that we’re getting to see Richard like this. Seigi clearly has seen Richard be more casual around him since he knows how Richard normally takes off his jacket, but I doubt Richard has let Seigi see this side of him before. And I also really relate to getting the urge to “suddenly practice boxing.”

* And then he just leaves looking disheveled?! Bruh. At least stick around to cool off first. 😏

* Thank god the rest of the cruise was peaceful. I’m glad Seigi and Richard got to just hang out after all that drama.

* Ewww Seigi had to endure a hug from Karlsbrook. But I’m so glad that creep got exposed. Hopefully Gargantua actually does good after the investigation into their culture of sexual misconduct.

“Epilogue”

* “But as you might expect if a food for celebrations, it opened with ‘twenty-five eggs,’ so I think I’ll try scaling it down” (251). I just love cute little comments Seigi makes like this. Also very relatable to anybody who follows Pinterest recipes. Who needs to make that much food??

* Richard reads about “unfamiliar grammatical constructions” for fun. This man…

* “There were words that I wanted to say in Japanese and others that felt easier to express in English, but they were both becoming mine. For example, this was something that I wanted to say in Engish. I wish you were here. I wish you were here to eat the food I made. I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I’d be happy if you have it a try. And if I say something ridiculous again, I wouldn’t mind if you got frustrated and scolded me” (263). 😌😌😌 But for real, can we talk about the romance of wanting to tell someone you miss them in their native language?

* Richard being so giddy that he pulled off this prank of showing up unannounced is adorable.

* Seigi’s idea of heaven is sitting in a beautiful garden drinking royal milk tea and eating delicious snacks while talking to Richard. 😌😌😌

* Okayyy and right back into the drama. I guess we’re going to have a teenage girl nemesis now. Not at all what I was expecting. But as always, I’m excited to learn more about Richard’s past!

Although this volume had many tough moments, we actually got a lot of smiley Richard. He seems a lot more comfortable around Seigi than even at the end of the last volume. I’m really looking forward to seeing how their relationship progresses from here. Especially if they’re staying in Sri Lanka together like was suggested at the end of Vol 6!

[serpentinespider]

kit 14, 43, D!

guy 13, 4, 35, 3!

been thinking about these fellas a lot recently!! thank you questionnaire this is the perfect time!!

WOO WOO YEAH I took awhile to answer these because they got my brain going so hard I had to think about them for hours before I could articulate any responses AAH /pos You always pick the best questions for each character!!

this got so long I’m putting it under a readmore actually heheh

Kit!

art by StudioScheppen!!

14. What animal do they fear most? DOGS, forever and always. Kit’s been super anxious since he was a little kid; he’s never been fond of any animals really, but dogs specifically were one of the first things that would consistently set him off. Mouth full of sharp teeth, unpredictable loud barks, usually big enough to bowl him over without much effort… he can tolerate them more these days, but he still can’t really go over to his buddy Larry’s house for fear of his family’s golden retrievers. Being attacked by one messed him up REAL bad mentally, even setting aside all the turning-into-a-beast stuff lol

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? Depends pretty much entirely who is asking and when. It took him quite awhile to come to terms with liking men, but once he did he pretty much leaned into it 100%. Towards strangers, he has a pretty flippant “I’m a homo, go fuck yourself if you have a problem with that,” attitude… but towards his friends and family he fumbles with the subject. “Welll uhh I don’t know… I guess I’m not straight maybe… I don’t think about labels too much…” (he does, he’s just scared of being shunned.)

D. Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? First of all, I like the phrasing of this question, usually I think of design tweaks as a ‘want,’ but ‘having’ to do so actually more accurate describes Kit’s evolution I think! I’m going to go slightly off the topic of the question for this one because it requires some elaboration (and because I can do what I want! /silly)

Most of my characters gradually change over time as my style changes and I just become interested in different design traits, but Kit has def had the most frequent and rapid design changes over the two-ish years I’ve called him my OC. I genuinely can’t remember where or how frequently I was posting about it at the time (outside of my old defunct tumblr blog), but I was deeply hyperfixated on Captain Underpants in 2022, specifically book 11 which is my favorite :] That book takes place in the past, and the antagonist is Kipper Krupp, Mr Krupp’s 12 year old nephew. He’s very goofy and his writing is standout enough that most of my fixation was focused on him. Like, it was so shockingly intense I cannot describe it. I’m not ashamed of liking CU but the extent to which I blorboified this one-off character is really something. Anyways, after a couple months of this I began to become embarrassed about how many headcanons and ideas I had for him, so I just took him and his friends, changed their names a little bit, aged them up and made them my OCs! As I’ve become more Normal about Kipper himself I’ve distanced Kit from him more and more— making him a werewolf was my main big effort to separate him from Captain Underpants tropes-wise if that makes sense! I mean I still love Kipper dearly, but not as much as I love Kit :3c

Canonically he’s still the same guy I guess, just in a super derivative AU lol. His dad is still named Jasper and his uncle is still Benny, buuut since I changed his surname to Parker I’m guessing most people are going to think that’s a Spider-Man reference haha

my gooby 🐺

I like how the antagonists wiki classifies wedgies as ‘torture’ lmao

moving on to Guy!!

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? She gravitates towards dark gray a lot, and I think it can flatter her, but it def is more of a dysphoria thing than a fashion thing. As for what looks best, I’m certainly no fashion expert (all her ratty gray outfits are based on what I wear HAHA) but I have a soft spot for him in white <3

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? Very easy. Maybe too easy? He doesn’t make an effort to connect with people, but if you do show any interest in him he’ll pretty much be willing to put his life in your hands. He might be shy, but he loves making friends!! This does mean he’s pretty likely to volunteer personal information to acquaintances too soon, either putting them off or giving them ammo to potentially harm him in the future :< [picks up Adam like a naughty kitten and stares at him really hard]

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? Guy doesn’t really react to things appropriately in real-time— tell him you’re getting married to the love of your life, he’ll monotonously go “oh, okay,” go silent, then a week later he’ll run up to you crying happy tears congratulating you!! He is very supportive, just has a hard time with the emotion part.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) — cw marijuana mention! — Pre-Daniel: Thinking… or more accurately overthinking. Nighttime anxiety is a big problem for her— she’s tried a variety of things to distract herself and alleviate it to varying degrees of success: journaling, reading, herbal teas… it’s hard to stick with anything, though. Weed is been the most consistently helpful for her, but her family has a history of addiction that makes her scared to commit to it. Post-Daniel: Snuggles!! It’s hard to worry about much when you’ve got a warm snakey creature wrapped around you so so happily, Dan’s purrs make her mind go wonderfully quiet. It’s like having a weighted blanket that’s in love with you

[pteroducktyll]

FtM Hysto Recovery + Tips (Plus general tips for dealing with low/no spoons or recovering from any surgery)

I haven't been on Tumblr for years, but recently re-joined to check out art, as I start to work on getting my idea for a graphic novel off the ground (as well as getting serious about improving my art again). However, I'm hoping these first few posts get found by an entirely different audience. This is being written in 2023.

I'm going in for a laparoscopic hysterectomy on Thursday (today is Monday) and want to share my experience, as much as spoons will allow, so that other people can hopefully benefit in the future. I, personally, have struggled to find things online that fit my situation as a trans man with a history of pre-cancerous pap smears, abnormal bleeding, PID and ovarian cysts (but not PCOS). Although hysterectomies for "GRS" or gender affirming surgery purposes are easy to get where I live, mine in particular is primarily being done to avoid cancer and to stop the abnormal bleeding and random debilitating pain that comes out of nowhere every few years and upends my life for weeks/months. So if you're someone facing the prospect of a laparoscopic hysterectomy, regardless of your gender identity, and have a history of medical issues (but not PCOS or endometriosis) in your reproductive region, this blog may help you! Or, alternatively, if you're a trans man looking to get a laparoscopic hysterectomy, whether or not you've had issues in that region, this might help you, too!

It should be noted that this is written from the perspective of someone in their 30s with a complicated medical history, including Type 2 Diabetes and a very rare kidney disease (which has an average life expectancy of 29 years for men, but we aren't sure how it affects trans men), so the pre-surgery process I've been through is not the typical one. I also have chronic pain and know from my past experiences with very severe pain that a) I have a low tolerance for any pain beyond what I deal with day-to-day and b) I have a high tolerance for opiate pain medication, which means it takes a higher dose for me to address the level of pain that a lower dose would address in someone else. These both affect the length of time that I'll likely need to be on painkillers, and how functional I'll be while I'm on them. This, in turn, affects how quickly I'll be able to do things like return to work and driving.

I should also note that although it's common in some places for this surgery to be completed as day surgery, my jurisdiction almost always keeps people in overnight; this is because it takes almost 24 hours for the anesthetic to work its way out of your system, and until it does they won't have a true indication of your pain levels and, therefore, won't be able to make sure it's adequately controlled before sending you home. It's much easier (in my experience, and according to the doctors!) to stop you from having pain in the first place than to get it under control once you do.

Also, I live with my partner and a roommate, and my retired parents are about 90 minutes away and have a guest room. My support network isn't huge, but it's high quality. My partner managed to get 3 days off work for my surgery and the 2 days following, and after that is on a light workload for about a week in case she needs to take care of me. She also has a lot of flexibility with her job, and her boss really likes me, so if there are complications or she needs to spend more time at home to look after me, I don't think it's completely out of the question. All of this is to say that I'm going into this surgery from a very privileged place, in terms of not having to do much to look after myself in the aftermath. My surgeon did advise me, however, to take 1 week (for sure) off work if I could, and that I may need a second week. My work consists of two research jobs that draw heavily on my brain power, but don't require me to move around at all, especially as I work from home, so the issue is the painkillers, rather than actual healing time. Other jobs will require different amounts of time off work.

Because I'm neurodivergent and like to have as many details as possible about ... literally everything, I'm going to make this as detailed as I can. Essentially, I'm hoping to share everything I know and experience without leaving anything out. If it's too much detail for you, I'm going to be doing my best to include useful headers.

Notification of Surgery & Lead-up

I received notice about my surgery just over a month before my surgery date; it was around June 26th that I was emailed and told my surgery would be on August 3rd. I had previously met my surgeon in January, and was told it would be a 6-8 month wait until surgery. Between that appointment and being given my surgery date, I'd had bloodwork done, as well as an internal ultrasound. I've had several internal ultrasounds before and while they are far from pleasant, they are not as dysphoria-inducing for me as they are for other trans men, I'm sure. I am more physically uncomfortable during them than mentally/spiritually uncomfortable.

In the notification email, my surgeon sent additional attachments; about 200 pages of information from a) their office specifically and b) the health authority [one document about hysterectomies, one document about recovering from surgery in general]. These documents answered most of my questions, and also had instructions about fasting, pre-surgery instructions (there's a special sponge I have to buy and use the night before surgery and the morning of surgery) and recovery information. The documents were very generic, and because they came from different sources, the information was sometimes contradictory. I, personally, took the information on board in this order of trustworthiness:

Things my surgeon had said in-person during my consultation appointment in January

Things included in the information from my surgeon's office directly

Things included in the documents from the health authority

If there were contradictions that seemed extremely important (e.g. one document said to wash everything my face with the special sponges, while another said, in all caps, to absolutely NOT wash my head or face with the sponges), I followed-up with the surgeon's office or the most appropriate person (e.g. pharmacist).

Pre-surgery Appointments

Because of my medical history (diabetes and Alport's Syndrome), I had an extra step in here. My surgeon required me to have a consultation with my internal medicine doctor's clinic (but not with my specialist) to get the all-clear and make sure my risk level wasn't too high. This doctor made some assumptions about the medications I'm taking, which led him to think I had both diabetes and a heart condition, which would have put me in a much higher risk category. Because of that, he ordered extra bloodwork, and an ECG, and booked a follow-up with me for a few days later. That initial appointment with him ended on the assumption that the surgery likely would be postponed. However, the bloodwork and ECG all came back fine, and at the follow-up he gave me the all-clear and said my risk wasn't very high at all.

I had a few other pre-surgery appointments.

One was with the surgeon. In my case, the doctor actually doing my surgery is a resident colleague of the surgeon I initially consulted with. Now that I had a specific date for the surgery, and my life situation had changed a bit since the consultation (e.g. work), I asked to meet with the surgeon to ask questions that had come up since the initial consultation, and so that I could meet the person who would be cutting into me and make sure I was comfortable with her. She answered all my questions really well, and it turned out I was more comfortable with her than the original surgeon. This was a quick 5-10 minute talk, but I highly recommend asking for it, even if your surgeon hasn't changed. You'll have another chance to talk to your surgery just before being wheeled into the OR, but you'll be nervous and may be medicated by then, and it's just nice to have this conversation ahead of time and in an environment where you can look at a list of questions you've written down, and actually pay attention to the answers.

The hospital required another two appointments before surgery:

The pharmacist

About a week before my surgery, the pharmacist called for 5-10 minutes to discuss my current medications, supplements, vitamins and holistic medicines (if I were taking any) and to find out what time of day I take them at. Easy peasy.

2. The anesthetist

Exactly a week before my surgery, the anesthetist called to discuss the operation itself and the anesthetic. I'm not sure if the doctor I talked to will be the anesthetist who is actually in the room with me, or if it was just her job that particular day to call and get the information that will get passed onto the one who will be in the room. She was very nice, and explained the method of anesthesia, as well as how I'll likely feel when I wake up, etc. She also saw on my chart that I have a history of chronic pain, and zeroed in on my back and shoulder. She asked if there are any positions that make me more comfortable, and then explained the position I'd be in for my surgery -- tipped back toward my head -- and that this sometimes gives people back and shoulder pain even if they don't have any to begin with. She said my arms would be alongside my body, fairly tight to it, and I said that would be fine. I practiced laying them beside my body later that day and promptly discovered that's actually pretty painful for one arm, but I'll mention that when I get there and hope for the best! If I was having the conversation again, I'd answer by saying I wasn't sure how that would feel but that I'd practice it before the surgery day to see, and then ask who I could talk to if it turned out there's a better position or if that one wouldn't work. Ultimately though, the surgery should be 1.5 hours to 4 hours at most, so I'm not overly concerned. What you should take away from this if you're having this surgery and don't already have back/shoulder pain is that you might wake up with some, but that it should go away in a day or maybe a little less. This type of surgery also requires the surgeon to inflate your belly with gas in order to make room for the scopes and so that they can see what they're doing. That gas can stick around for a day, sometimes two, according to the anesthetist and can be a little bit painful or uncomfortable. I can't remember anything else that came out of this conversation.

In terms of pre-surgery appointments, that was it.

Tips and Tricks for Being Prepared

The next little bit is information I acquired through talking to my therapist (who's had several laparoscopic surgeries!) and many hours of research online, as well as living as a person who often has few spoons.

Get your first 1-2 weeks of meals planned and ready in advance. For me, this means I've picked up a large number of cans of Alphaghetti-type foods, and I'll be buying as many frozen meals as I can but have VERY little freezer room because my partner and I share with our tenant. Other options include things like HelloFresh, identifying nights when it will be easier for your partner if you order food in (if you can afford to), making big batches of food leading up to surgery while you're well and then freezing them, creating a list of meals you'd appreciate friends bringing over [remind them to bring them in disposable containers, so you don't have to feel guilty when it takes you weeks to get the containers back to them!], etc

Buy some Depends/adult diapers. I bought store brand (Life brand, specifically, which is Canadian) ones. The only ones I could get were maximum absorbency unless I wanted to pay twice the price for name brand ones, but I suspect I could do with a minimum absorbency one. I bought the underwear-style ones. In the store brand, they don't look very underwear-like at all, but if you have more money to spend, some of the name brand ones look convincingly like underwear! I also bought 'Unisex' ones, but would have bought womens if the unisex ones weren't an option; I suspect the mens' might have a built-in bulge area that would be awkward for me. The point of the adult diapers is that their 'waistband' is not a traditional waistband -- it's about 8" tall, very thin, and crinkle-cut so that it doesn't put pressure on your skin. This will stop you from having clothing pushing on your incision sites. BONUS is that they ARE absorbent, so you won't have to also wear pads to deal with discharge (which can, apparently, last for 6 weeks). Try the Depends on for a day a few days before surgery. Yes, it will be awkward and you'll feel silly. I am literally sitting in bed, with nothing wrong with me, wearing nothing but an adult diaper and a tee shirt while my partner's at work. But this has 2 purposes: 1) chances are you haven't worn these before, and you want to make sure you've got the most comfortable ones you can in terms of fit and style; 2) if you've worn them once already, it'll be familiar when you go to put it on when you're ready to leave the hospital; you'll know which side is the back and which side is the front, and the 'weirdness' of wearing them will be less unsettling. You're going to have other weird stuff going on, this doesn't have to be yet another weird thing happening!

If you live alone or your partner doesn't (or can't) change the sheets, layer sheets on the bed. That's right, layer your mattress with bottom sheets. That way, you can peel the top one off and have a cleaner sheet beneath it. It won't be the same as being able to sleep on a fresh, clean sheet straight out of the cupboard or dryer, but it's going to be better than the one you've slept, sweat or, universe forbid, bled on.

Get a LEAKPROOF (truly) travel mug with a handle. After surgery you'll have maybe one comfortable position to lay in. You're not going to want to get out of that position to retrieve your water, but you're also going to need to be drinking a lot of water (it helps you recover, and also helps get your bowels moving again). Being able to lose your water in the bed is a luxury, but a necessary one. I got mine at Winners for pretty cheap.

Get a nightie or onesie. I usually sleep naked. I don't really own pyjamas -- when I need to cover up to sleep (like when I visit friends or travel), I throw on a pair of joggers, or boxer briefs. But those both have waistbands and, remember, we're trying to avoid waistbands. I ordered a sleep shirt from Oodie, which was on sale, but still expensive (I paid around $60, including 1-2 business day shipping because I didn't think of it until the last minute), as well as a halloween one-sie from Old Navy that's apparently leftover from last year's halloween stock. I'm expecting the onesie to be way too hot, but I need something I can wear out in public in case I have to get groceries, or pick something up at the pharmacy, or stand outside because the building's burning, without exposing myself. I also borrowed a robe to go over the sleep shirt when I leave the hospital.

Have whoever's picking you up bring 2 pillows. One goes between your abdomen and the seatbelt, and you sit on the other one.

Have whoever's picking you up bring fast food. When you leave the hospital you're going to either be ravenously hungry or feel like you never want to eat again. Either way, fast food is going to be the one thing you didn't realize you needed so badly in your life until that moment. Your body's going to be craving carbs and fat, and fat is also what's going to help your pain pills kick in.

Have ice cream, chips or other junk food on hand. This is mostly so that you have something to eat when you take your pain pills. Fatty foods help opiates work faster; as someone who takes them several times a month for chronic pain, I've sometimes noticed a difference of -hours- between taking them with fatty foods and taking them on their own.

Get a walking aid. We use our abdomens for everything. If you don't already have something like a cane, pick one up. Keep the receipt though; if you don't end up using it, you can usually take them back. With that said, my therapist said it's at about the 2 week mark when you feel like you actually need one. If you don't have a cane but you have walking/hiking sticks, dig them out and keep them handy.

Grab some baby wipes. You can get laparoscopic incisions wet, but that doesn't mean you're going to feel like you have the energy or endurance to shower right away. You're still going to want to keep your pits and bits clean.

If you take daily medications, organize them in a pill organizer. Things can get confusing when you're on painkillers, or when a partner is dishing out your meds. You know exactly how many you take, and how often, so the best way to approach this is to get a pill organizer and get all your doses for a week ready before your surgery. Monday AM, Monday PM, Tuesday AM, Tuesday PM, that kind of thing. There's nothing worse than being on painkillers and trying to remember if you've already taken That Very Important Medication You Can't Miss or not. Or, worse, not even realizing you've missed something that can give you withdrawal symptoms, and suddenly waking up a few days after surgery feeling worse than you've ever felt in your life and wondering if you need to go to the ER, only to have it turn out that you missed your meds.

Buy something for yourself that you can look forward to. I bought a video game that I've wanted for a couple of years that was finally on sale. I haven't touched it, and won't until sometime after surgery when I feel up to it. Giving yourself a little reward when you're going through something hard is always nice.

If you're diabetic...take a minute before your surgery to remind your partner/anyone you live with/anyone who's going to be looking after you about how and when to check your blood sugars, what numbers are abnormal for you, and what to do about them. Being ill or recovering from a surgery can really throw your diabetes out of whack, even if it's well-controlled beforehand, and recovering from surgery might make you feel a lot of the same symptoms you'd feel from a hypo/hyper or DKA, so make sure you (or someone else) test your sugars regularly and have things on hand to deal with abnormal or worrying results.

Take your phone everywhere. Painkillers (and pain) can make us unsteady. As someone who's taken a fall and had to wait hours for my partner to wake up and find me and help me back to my feet (and then bed), I don't recommend it.

These are the things I know about pre-surgery, but I'll try to update...eventually if I learn anything new post-surgery.

[malleablemusic]

unfortunately, my boyfriend unironically listens to weezer, and has caught wind about this blog. after a month of trying, he has successfully convinced me to use this album for this week's blog. let the record state that i have heard island in the sun before, as aquamarine is one of my favorite movies in the entire world (for anyone wondering, he will now be watching that fantastic piece of cinematic history with me in exchange for this post). anyways, here's my review of weezer's self titled album:

don't let go: 3/5 stars

i love when a man sings "ill be down on my knees" for some reason its just so vulnerable

loving the simp energy he is giving, whole song is just begging so far

this is transforming me into a 14 year old boy with a spiky haircut, learning guitar in my room, suddenly i want to play basketball in my driveway

his voice is very classic, especially for the music genre, but doesn't feel unique enough for me

photograph: 2.9/5 stars

i always love clapping in songs, especially in an intro

such a fun beat, i could dance around my room to this

i think he just liked getting to repeat "re-erect it" over and over

hash pipe: 4.6/5 stars

oh okay raaaangeee!!!! is this a completely different singer

feels like such a different vibe than the first two

what happens when that 14yr old spiky haired kid gets older and gains access to marijuana lmao

i didn't know weezer could be angsty this is great

"you've got your problems / i've got my eyes wide / you've got your big g's / i've got my hash pipe" he's truly speaking words of wisdom

island in the sun: 5/5 stars

it is very hard for me to separate this song from the film that means so very much to me (aquamarine) so i simply will not be

the pure joy and light and love this song exudes its insane

i am instantly transported to a beach, in a bikini and big shirt, hair damp and sun-bleached, off a margarita and dancing in the sunset

i am obsessed with the guitar solo and need to learn how to play just for this

the way he sings "we'll never feel bad anymoreeee" !! IM HEALED

crab: .1/5 stars

okay continuing with the beach theme

brb googling what it means to crab?

according to the internet they're just complaining about the women. ok way to let me down after one of my favorite songs ever

is this just a man upset a woman won't sleep with him

"crab at the booty / 'taint gonna do no good" shutttt uppp ! just shut up (:

this is really gonna lower the album's average huge L for them

knockdown dragout: 2.5/5 stars

lyrics are kind of giving nothing, repetitive

i do enjoy the guitar, they always eat with that, but this is kind of boring

smile: 2.8/5 stars

i like his little belting when he sings "'cause i don't wanna break"

the guitar solos in this album !! even the short ones, so good

follows the common theme i see of wanting a girl to give him a chance...

simple pages: 2.8/5 stars

yup okay another song asking a girl to give him a chance - truly, i get it, and this is a valid form of art you go sir, i just do not see myself listening to this kinda music

i do enjoy pining every once in a while do not get me wrong

another bangin guitar solo

feels like i don't have much to say about this..

glorious day: 3/5 stars

angsty nerdy boy decides its time to finally make a move and ask a girl out

i like these kinds of weezer songs more, the "grittier" sound

giving angry high school band in a battle of the bands competition

o girlfriend: 2/5 stars

i think what i don't like about them is while their sound is good and i enjoy it, the lyrics are truly so generic and not special

i think I said this in an earlier post, and i am not trying to be disparaging, but an AI chatbot could've easily written this in 30 seconds- i just don't believe he's actually hurt and grieving a love, i want to feel the artists genuine pain, this does not sound like a man torn apart

sadly, i was very underwhelmed by this album. to my partner's credit, this is not his favorite of their work, so maybe i will give the rest of their music a try eventually, but for now that was very mid (aside from the perfection that is island in the sun) and i'd give the album 2.7/5 stars.

[skeletalsepulchre]

making a copy of this bc op disabled reblogs and i just got reminded it existed and would like to not lose it

ok so . im outing myself to the world but thats fine this is too funny to not share

so. ive run a roleplay blog for a few years. i keep it separate from my main, yknow, its just a side hobby and ive been doing it since i was like, 12. its cringe but hey yknow at least im not 30 and writing ya novels

now its pretty common for rp blogs these days to have rules. right? you dont want to just bag any weirdo on this website, and as you can imagine bnha roleplayers are batshit crazy (see: conversion therapy todoroki) so mine are pretty strict and detailed. because ive been doing it long enough to be exposed to what counts as carbon monoxide poison from a screen. one of those rules is "if youre mutuals with people who write porn of the kids even aged up im blocking you we're keeping a ten foot pole on this". because as a 20 year old man i have a healthy disinterest in seeing paragraphs of teenagers fucking

so the dash is astir with talk of a guy writing age up bakugou porn and im like ok whatever. make a post bitching about it . mutual likes those posts but then the mutual is turning around and being buddy buddy with this guy so i dm the mutual like hey whats going on here . mutual is like "well why dont you talk it out with him hes not as mean as he seems i prommy" and im like sure whatever i can have civil conversation and if it ends with One Less Person writing weirdo porn then i might be able to get into heaven

so i dm him and he loses his fucking mind. it lasted all of 10 minutes because he was sending paragraphs like this and i was too tired to give a shit

(take note of my icon thats a special tool thatll help us later)

(also he goes by the name rxgelord. WITH the x. thats also important just because its funny as fuck)

so the guys clearly bothered by the idea that people might possibly talk about him without his permission and im a little miffed after being misgendered (which hed do again later) so i just post our dms. swing first and hey batter batter lets play ball i dont give a shit this is bnha roleplay

once again: loses his damn mind. he makes a psa post about me talking about how im just some pussy infant and hes too HARD for me and shit and also they do bakudeku muffin roleplay in the comments of that post which is fucking insane

anyway. at one point while joking about the whole thing i called him a "wannabe bakugou kinnie" as a joke and apparently he felt a very serious need to address this

and im like holllllllllllllly fucking shit

you may have noticed that his posts are incredibly over-formatted. this goes for everything he does he is pouring a LOT of time and energy into typing his 9 paragraphs about how im an insane bitch or whatever. (if theres literally one thing i can give him credit on its that his graphic editing skills are kinda good. i will be honest) his rules document is also just as insane and features gems such as:

(this dude thinks hes pulling bitches on a bnha roleplay blog)

so we're just full on ragging on him at this point and hes getting MADDDDDDD MAD. he misgenders me again and when i point it out he has the following excuse:

(art by @/pcktknife. anyways)

after a certain point i get dmd an old copy of a 130+ page callout he had a year prior and im like WHAT and it included his yugioh rp blog career and various allegations like having been involved in gang violence, doxxing, etc. also a picture of the hickies he bragged about leaving on his uwu pink glitter gf which looked more like he was trying to go for the killing bite but hey. yknow. apparently im a toddler idk how that works

along in this we also find his twitch account, which was under the name rxgelord, and it featured edited graphics of his real life face with bakugou. he posts selfies a lot too i wont share them even if theyre public but he has knuckle tats and a goatee and uses the greyscale filter. if this gives you an idea. he also had 5 twitch followers and detailed his desire to be a rapper/dj and im like holllllly fucking shit this guy cant be a real person. holy fuck.

anyways. skipping a lot of unnecessary bullshit and paragraphs of text with gifs from 2013 attached hes constantly going on about how we wont just "say it to his face" which i think is hilarious bc i was, the entire time. but im like ok fine you want me so bad

so i send him this. he posts about how "he won when he got all might" (for some reason hes calling my ex mutual by the character name. i dont know) and then hasnt posted in 4 days. he deleted his twitch. im a little worried bakugou. dont say that. may have actually chased this man off the internet . to go have real life sex with his real life girlfriend so he isnt so mad

anyway we ended up turning one of his posts into an eminem uberduck

im honestly probably forgetting something this was so much and it was so fucking funny and honestly im glad to have been there

update: he has not in fact posted since last summer. god bless.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hiii just found your blog and all your mothman reblogs are so REALLL i love him sm 😭😭😭 anyw I'd like to request a match up if you don't mind (it says in your pinned post that your ask box will be closed in the coming days so idk if that means it's closed now or not and if so dw abt it!) It's my first time asking for a match up so bare w me 😭

I'm a cis female with short shoulder length black hair that's either usually dyed or cut in some odd way (think layers/wolfcut/sometimes bangs sometimes not basically I like experimenting with hair) whose VERY short. (Think under 160cm). Physical traits wise I'm very skinny (not in a model way and more of a no matter how much I eat I burn it off TOO quickly it can get dangerous for my health) which means I'm also not physically very female iykwim. (As in I'm not blessed in the chest or ass category in life 😭)

I also have several scars on my thighs and hands due to a dog attack BUT I'm still so in love with animals and particularly have a VERY soft spot for the animals thought to be basic/unimportant. (Rodents and a lot of birds). I'm also very artistic and dabble in almost every form of art including performative, visual, written, and digital!

My biggest flaw would probably be my stubborness which gets in the way of a lot of things at times. I'm also slightly insecure about my looks and my height especially and that may cause jealousy/slight mistrusts unless dealth w a lot of communicatio. I can put people above me at times even when it isn't right because I'm loyal to them to a fault. But I'm very petty as well esp aft my trust is broken repeatedly.

Despite that I still think I'm pretty outgoing/adventurous when it comes to meeting new people altho I do get a lot of anxiety over it hahahahsdhhdjs.

The love language I love to give is physical touch, words of affirmations, and gifts. Whilst the ones I love to receive are words of affirmations and quality time. My mbti is Intp and I'm a Taurus! Also, I wouldn't mind any matchups from any media you write for except Castlevania cause I haven't gotten around to watching it just yet! (Altho I do have a preference for bg3 cause that's the media I know most well!)

I'm not sure if I said too much/too little but yeah! Again if your asks are closed dw abt it. I hope you have an amazing day/night. ✨️✨️✨️🤩🤩🤩

A/N: I hail Mothman, you hail Mothman, We ALL hail the Mothman!!! I just think he’s neat. Anyway, getting back on task because you didn't specify a gender preference, I picked one of each for you. For you, my Skinny Taurus Anon, I’m thinking your best Baldur’s Gate 3 matchups would be… Halsin (Male) and Karlach (Female)! 

Halsin would be a great match for you! He’s very kind and soft-spoken and shares your love of animals and nature. He’s especially touched that you’ve managed to maintain such love for animals after being attacked in your childhood. He finds your reverence for less cherished animals very honorable indeed. 

Halsin admires the ways that you express yourself by experimenting with your hair. In his case, he’s had the same look for a few hundred years or so, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t enjoy maybe changing up the way he styles his hair if you were willing to help him do it. Halsin loves all bodies and all body types, so there’s no need to feel insecure about being thin, or not having curves. Halsin does get concerned, however, when he feels you don’t eat enough nutritious food throughout the day. Silvanus knows he has a sweet tooth, but man nor elf cannot exist on honey and fruit alone. He wants to ensure you're getting a good amount of protein and greens in your diet, and he’s very capable of hunting dinner for you if you’d like. 

Halsin enjoys making art himself, preferring to whittle, seated next to you as you write or create your amazing digital creations. (A technology he does not understand but is very supportive of all the same.)

Being an open-hearted polyamorous druid, you’d have to have strong communication skills for a serious long-term relationship with Halsin. The two of you will need to work out a language or routine of your own to check in with one another and make sure that no serious insecurities or jealousies take hold. Speaking respectfully from the heart will be paramount here. 

Halsin’s first love language is most definitely physical touch, with acts of service coming second. He loves the feel of you- from something as simple as your hand in his to the more sensual, romantic skin-to-skin moments you share- he always wants to have a part of you against him. He loves how you show your affection through touch, and he is always eager to receive it. He’s a very generous lover, so if you ask that he give you frequent words of affirmation, he will eagerly rise to the challenge. Although, if we’re being honest, Halsin’s already quite the verbal lover, never wasting an opportunity to call you ‘my heart’. 

As an INTP, your more logical side balances out his more emotional ENFJ one. 

The two of you bring wholeness and balance to each other’s lives. 

Karlach would also be a great fit for you! She’s fun-loving, energetic, and full of zest for life, and all of that extends to her relationship with you!

She thinks the height difference between you two is absolutely adorable, and she WILL give you all the forehead kisses because of it. Karlach also loves how you experiment with your hair color. She herself has red streaks in her hair. (Not sure if that’s natural for her or if she’s dyed it, but either way, fun hair colors are something she likes.) 

She doesn’t mind that you’re skinny either, it just gives her all the more incentive to protect you. She does worry sometimes, that your thinness makes you more prone to injury or illness, but she does her best to keep those concerns to herself. She wouldn’t want to trouble you with them, besides, so long as she’s there, no one can touch you- not with your big tiefling barbarian girlfriend there to protect you. And don’t worry about the no boobs or butt thing. Karlach’s own chest is more scar tissue than anything at this point, so she doesn’t look at bodies that way. She thinks your form is fucking gorgeous because your soul is fuckoing gorgeous to her. 

And it’s a good thing you like animals, because Karlach loves them as well. She thinks the owlbear cub is just the cutest little guy she’s ever seen, and she’s glad despite your past experience, you’re not afraid of him or any animal other people might be too afraid or freaked out by to love. Also I know this is totally random, but I could totally see Karlach being a great bird mom to a macaw or a parrot. And yes, she would teach them swear words. 

Kalarch is loyal to a fault. In the past her loyalty cost her a great deal, but she still believes in having trust in the ones you love. It may take her a little bit longer to get there, but once she trusts you, she’s very much ride or die, and she expects you to be the same. 

Karlach is obsessed with anything and everything you create. She loves it all so much. She’s constantly going round showing your art to everyone in camp, bragging about how cool and creative her partner is. She’s not super artistic, and she can’t sing to save her life, but god, she loves people who are good at the arts so much. She’s amazed at their talent and you are no exception. 

As an INTP, you’ll want to be a little more sensitive around Karlach’s ESFP, especially when it comes to her expressing her emotions. She’s a strong girl, that’s for sure, she’s survived ten years in the hells! But life has not been kind to her. The people she once trusted, betrayed her, and she needs to feel secure in her romantic relationship as a result- she can’t get the sense that you’re being insincere or just biding your time as she shares how she feels. 

I hope you enjoyed it!

Please Like, but most importantly REBLOG!

Reblogs share my work with other blogs, creating a wider audience. 

A/N 2.0: Apologies for the delay. Posting will probably happen 1x/week with how things are going.

[patton-sanders-killed-a-man]

I love the comic and I miss it, and I hope you're doing well

What happened to Patton-sanders-killed-a-man?

Well the short version is: ⦁ trauma ⦁ school ⦁ I had set up an unrealistic precedent for myself

And now you can skip to the Read-More to see the ask-blogs originally planned plotline alongside the panels of the unfinished last update, but if you want the long version:

Patton-sanders-killed-a-man was the first of my creative ventures that ever garnered a notable amount, with me making comics since I was 13, though all of my previous projects got little to no attention. So obviously when the ask-blog blew up, 16-year-old me was ecstatic, but very much not ready to handle it. Not only was this my first project to receive this amount of attention, but I also lacked experience as a writer, and with a medium of storytelling as fickle as an ask-blog in which the plot can change drastically depending on the asker's actions, it was not a good combination.

I mostly wrote the story on the fly, with an outline (which you can read under the Read-More) composed of cool ideas I had and various dark themes I was fascinated with but didn't have the emotional maturity to discuss. But the worst writing decision I made was making the inciting incident, the thing that led Patton to kill "Johnny", based on a personal trauma of mine, one I was in denial about. However by the last update, something happened that forced me to acknowledge it, and after that, I was no longer comfortable with the story I had set up.

That combined with the fact that School Was Kicking My Ass (which to be fair was mostly due to my own overambition) forcing me to shift my focus away from the ask-blog. I had also set up an unrealistic precedent for myself, with updates getting longer and longer. It was unsustainable, but with the pressure I placed on myself I didn't know how to go back from that and make the process easier for myself.

(this isn't even to mention all the different ways I made the art process itself horribly time inefficient, like the way I obsessed over perfect line art, choosing a semi-realistic art style rather than something less time-consuming, not creating character design sheets to help me stay on model, obsessing over wrinkles in the clothing, spending ages taking my own reference photos, redrawing panels over and over because I'm unsatisfied with them. If you're thinking of making an askblog/a comic, if you can't make a single-character panel in 10-20 minutes with your current art process you gotta figure out a style that does allow you to do that. There is a reason why 90% of Homestuck looks like crap til shit gets serious, ok. Please don't do what I did)

I had been running purely on fumes, and the second those ran out, I fell out of love with the story I created.

…

Well, that was a bit of a bummer, huh? But as mentioned I still have been making stuff, even if it isn't ask-blog related, for example, I just recently finished my first animated short which you can watch here:

(with its completion being mostly due to my teacher, who forced me to learn to take on more manageable projects, which I must thank her for)

I also have made a new art blog, that being @anonymous-utility and have been posting things on my youtube alongside it. I don't post often since I need to focus on IRL stuff, but it's where I post updates to all the projects I take on alongside just various other art. Even if ended far too soon, I'm still proud of this ask-blog, as it has taught me a lot. Thank you all for participating and if you choose to follow my art blog I will be seeing you soon.

Rough outline and unfinished update under the Read-More:

From what I remember, because I never actually wrote it down, as the majority of the storyline relied on the actions of the audience, but it was intended to go something like this:

⦁ Everything that has already happened

⦁ On the bus Dee would meet Virgil's younger sibling Andy (who is anxiety from the shorts), though Dee won't understand the significance of that, not knowing who Virgil is. We'd also be shown Dee's scar on his neck, all shown in the unfinished update above.

⦁ We'd later meet Dee's coworkers, Dee would log in at his desk as the interview isn't scheduled for an hour or so, and he notices that his email is full, this is the first hint that it isn't just his phone the askers can send messages to, but through technology in general- Dee is not stoked about this.

⦁ He then would meet "Johnny"'s mom and older brother (Daniel, aka the critic or Dice as referred by the fandom) They'd be using "Johnny's" real name, Renard, and we don't catch on that it's Remy, until Daniel calls him that. Overall the attitude of the two would be like this; the mother would act upset, but in a manner that makes it all about her, and Daniel would be rather cold and matter-of-fact. Daniel's attitude would frustrate his mother, leading to an argument breaking out, during which Daniel points out that she only cares because Remy is the only one of her children to never go against her, mentioning a certain Remus getting kicked out (to which the mother reacts negatively to daniel calling Remus by his chosen name). The interview ends poorly and Dee leaves the entire situation wondering how this family has ended up being so dysfunctional.

⦁ From then the askers could direct Dee toward Remus or Andy.

⦁ If directed towards Remus Dee would find him working at a library, and with a bit of time, they'd realize they recognized each other, mostly via each other's chosen names, as they were online friends but lost contact when Remus got kicked out and lost access to the internet. Remus is delighted to see Dee again after all these years but confused about why he's in the States, since Dee's Canadian, to which Dee explains that he moved to the States, moving in with Logan, their third online friend, as soon as he could to get away from his own family.

⦁ Once Remy's fate Remus is generally uncaring since his family is dead to him, "So golden boy kicked it, with how many people he pissed off it was only a matter of time, now come back to me when Roman commits manslaughter, oh wait" to which we are told that Roman is serving time for having killed someone in a car accident (something that Remus finds hilarious since he was often labeled the troublemaker out of the two).

⦁ Remus would also be somewhat weirded out by the concept of Patton being the killer, since Remus knew him via association and always thought him a bit of a wet rag, then again even 50's housewives snap eventually. They exchange contact information and go their separate ways.

⦁ After this Remus becomes available to the askers, taking the form of a strange figure that only Remus can see that hangs in the corners that can stare at Remus and make various gestures, though that takes coordination as they would be controlled by various people. Remus would at first try to ignore this strange figure, having experienced hallucinations in the past, but if the askers become more aggressive in trying to get Remus to pay attention to them Remus may become more desperate to get rid of them.

⦁ If the askers direct Dee towards Andy we learn that Virgil went missing three years ago

⦁ At this point, the plot becomes more vague as I hadn't planned that far ahead aside from the major plot points.

⦁ After having spent so much time with Dee, we'd cut back to Logan. Any asks directed to him will not go through the phone, unless Dee is present. Instead, askers' messages would get scratched into Logan's skin, specifically on his arms, and if the askers become particularly aggressive, especially with Logan refusing to acknowledge them due to the absurdity of this situation, the messages would begin to cut into Logan's skin rather than just scratch. This is an issue due to Logan being a high school Comp Sci teacher and really needing to not bleed in front of his student if he wants to keep his job. Logan got his priorities in order.

⦁ This will be the first time the askers would have the option to directly hurt someone

⦁ Logan will not tell Dee about this, due to the absurdity of it and due to his history with depression, he worries that Dee would think he did it to himself.

⦁ Either way, the deadline for Dee's article is closing in and he must make a decision on how to frame the narrative.

⦁ But first, we cut back to Patton. It's the 12th of May, 2020, and he has gotten as far away as he could and is currently in the woods. He is not doing well, and he hasn't heard the askers in the past two days, with him being certain he has imagined them. Once they flood back in it startles him, and he reacts loudly, loud enough to attract a passerby.

⦁ That passerby is Virgil. Patton does not react well, thinking that he started seeing things as well. But once Virgil confirms that he is in fact realm that only replaces the problem of potential visions with the problem of meeting his estranged friend who he hasn't talked to in three years. Virgil quickly forgives him, however, especially after Patton awkwardly states that he is homeless, to which Virgil assumes Remy to be the cause, stating "he took your shit and ran, I told you he wasn't to be trusted", offering a place to stay.

⦁ I didn't have much planned for Virgil, and at the time I was unsure if I just wanted him to be a paranoid guy who decided to live off the grid or… a genuine serial killer who sold people's organs. Needless to say, the second option was certainly a thing my 16-year-old self came up with and it's not a concept current me stands by.

⦁ Either way after this interaction Virgil would become open to asks, with the askers becoming able to slightly move things to garner his attention, though this ability would be limited to asks directed to Virgil only.

⦁ These interactions between the askers and Virgil will spark an obsession in him, as he always feared and was fascinated by the other-worldly since childhood.

⦁ Through the course of the story, Virgil and Patton would grow closer, with Patton eventually confessing to what he did and the circumstances that lead him to do it. Virgil stays on his side, and this leads Patton to grow comfortable, enough that with the help of Virgil he grows to accept his identity.

⦁ Cutting back to Dee, no matter the tone of the article the askers stay, and now it's not just his phone that the messages are being directed towards him through, but all the technology around him, and no one seems to be aware of this aside from him and Logan, eventually becoming convinced the only way to get the askers off his back is to get Patton done in since he appears to be the source of all this, resulting in Dee tracking Patton down and getting him arrested - this solves nothing.

⦁ After a breakdown from Dee, Remus, Logan, and Dee realize they have the same problem, and Remus gets in contact with a coworker and friend of his who is into the Otherworldly.

⦁ That's when it's revealed the askers are an interdimensional entity called The Audience, a creature with uncountable eyes and mouths, and the more people it gets in contact with the closer it gets to gaining physical form, with the sixth person contacted being its gateway.

⦁ The Audience's motive? To take control of the "story" and mold it in its own image.

⦁ Going back to Patton, he meets Roman, who's doing time for manslaughter. Their meeting goes as well as the one between a killer and the younger brother of the victim since Roman was closer to Remy than Remus was. But their meeting also results in Roman becoming open for the askers, this manifesting in them getting control of his left hand, eventually climbing all the way up to his shoulder.

⦁ All the while the askers can manipulate Virgil into breaking into prison, as the prison contains what they both want. With Virgil, he not only wants Patton back but has also become convinced that The Audience/the askers are his dark patron god and serving them is the only way to regain control over his life and be able to do something other than live at the edge of society in terror, while the askers want Roman not only because he's the gateway but also The Audience gains physical form they'll gain full control of the story, perhaps even allowing them to rewind back to prevent the inciting incident from occurring.

⦁ Of course, askers not aligned with this goal can warn the Intruloceit crew (Dee, Remus, and Logan) about what's happening but it will be pretty difficult to make them trust you after all that has happened.

⦁ The rest goes as one would expect from a cosmic horror climax, Virgil tries to get The Audience into their dimension, and Patton probably goes through with it with promises of having his crimes erased and being able to feel safe again after all that happened, but the Intruloceit gang show up armed with knowledge from Remus's friend and seal the gateway, Remus makes fun of Roman for being the cult sacrifice rather the dashing hero and then therapy.

⦁ The very last scene of the ask-blog is Picany alone in his office as suddenly an ask gets sent through his email, asking whether he will be involved in the plot.

⦁ The End

All in all a big part of the story would be my own fascination with the potential of ask-blogs serving as a vehicle for cosmic horror, especially with the audience being the source of said horror. Other than that the ask-blog's themes would center around identity and various forms of violence and how one can find themselves the victim of said violence, and other sensitive subjects 16-year-old me was not prepared to handle (nor had the time to with how long this story would have been, comics take a long as while to through their plots yall).

But I have grown since then and have actually finished one of my projects for once (cough please watch 'She gets eaten by the end *cough) and I'm a better writer for it, as well as just better at managing my time. While I won't give any guarantees, with IRL stuff taking the majority of my time, in my free time I have been working on an illustrated horror novel that I plan to release for free once it's finished, so if you enjoy my younger self's writing, you may want to be on the lookout for that on my art blog ;]

[lutethebodies]

hey just letting you know, I really enjoy your Cannor/Minthara ship posts. You're one of a handful of the regular shippers I know who thinks about, like, long term relationship stuff with your oc and Minthara, beyond the puppy love years and actually considering how they'd manage to live/work/survive together without it all breaking down.

keep it up, you're appreciated ^_^

I hope anon will forgive me if I jump off their very kind note to mention a few reasons why I think I might be good at what they noticed about my character pieces like the one they mentioned.

First, age. I was recently told in no uncertain terms (by people much younger) that it's both hilarious and pathetic for me, a 47-year-old person, to post on Tumblr about anything at all, let alone BG3 character ships. I think someone even said "you're as old as my parents, just stop." And, well, whatever. I made a dumb and needlessly negative mistake (which earned me a lot of other weirdly reductive and untrue assumptions, and because this is the internet, all of it will of course live forever somewhere) on a topic I'd already covered better in non-negative ways. But it ultimately doesn't matter, because life is cringe and self-flagellation is performatively silly and nobody who cares about me judges me for blogging on Tumblr anyway.

However, I think my age (at least in terms of life experience) helps me think about interpersonal behavior and relationships in ways that younger people might not. I don't wanna go full Joe-Biden-in-denial about this—because who the fuck am I, really?—but the fact that I'm still married to the same person after 18 years (with 8 more together before that) speaks to what I've been able to learn and know about how these things work. (Pro tip for a successful marriage: don't have kids; we don't and we're very happy about that.). So that's a bit of an obvious self-insert in what I write for Cannor.

Second, employment status. After decades in the professional design/marketing world, I'm very fortunate to (post-quarantine) be able to freelance part-time as a creative professional and stay home as a house-spouse. I can make art and record songs and write posts and bike for exercise pretty much when I want, as well as take care of housework. It's really inspiring and I like to spread inspiration whenever I can. I also think it's important to be a proud house-spouse as a cishet USAmerican man because even now (get your tiny violins ready) we are still mocked as unmanly and societally useless if we don't have the right job title or don't make more money than our wives or don't have 6 kids or whatever it is that a man's man's man is supposed to be like. Fuck that noise.

I have no problem being a man who is, in many ways, overshadowed by what my spouse does in her life and with her career. She works hard, she's really good at what she does, and is really patient with a flighty artist guy at home. That's how love works for us. (She would probably be annoyed at the mere fact of me getting hung up on all this shit, btw). Most of my "career" work has been ephemeral (that's marketing for you), and I value my decades of making art and music way more anyway, even and especially since it's a hobby and I'll never be celebrated for it. So that vibe goes into my Cannor-Minthara headcanon as well (remember folks, self-insert is not a sin).

Finally (and I say this as a reminder to myself as much as anyone else): think before posting. Don't put needlessly negative things out there, because the world will oblige you in return a hundredfold. Perhaps obvious, but always a lesson worth re-learning. Believe it or not, some old people do realize when they need to re-learn shit.

Now, if you don't mind I'd like to go back to being laughably cringe on main.

[vintagelacerosette]

Tag Game catch up ✨️

I was tagged to do these awesome tag games made by our shining star Macy @celestialmickey & was also tagged by these angel pies Evie @energievie Julissa @heymrspatel Jay @surviving-maybe Harvey @mikhailoisbaby Willow @ian-galagher Kaka @stocious Auds @auds-and-evens Michelle @michellemisfit Leah @whatwouldmickeydo Vey @look-i-love-u Julia @juliakayyy Ri @tanktopgallavich thank youuu 🥰

Name: Myn

Age: 26

Where in the world are you? Sydneeeyy

The meaning behind your URL: the mash up of pretty words & when i began this blog i had aspirations of being a pretty vintage type aesthetic blog lmao

Your second favourite color: Periwinkle

Any pets? My doggie Roxy

Favourite season: Currently, I'll say it's autumn but it varies bc I barely have any distinction with the season living in Australia lol so I'm happy as long as it's sunny & not blistering heat with a light breeze haha

Last thing you read:

Got fics in rotation at the moment haha but I'm rereading

Let the bodies to the talkin' by the magnificent Jane @captainjowl

My Nine Lover by the sensational Anna @annatrow

Last of a Dying Breed by the terrific @wildxwired

For a book I've started Be not Afraid of Love by Mimi Zhu that is a collection writings about the author's journey of relearning to love again after experiencing a violent relationship

Last song you listened to:

I'm getting familiar with the new FOB album 💕

What are you wearing right now? Black cardigan, brown pleated mini dress with pastel green low heels

A hobby of yours: Paper quilling

Your comfort show or movie: Currently Shadows and Bone (gotta get that Six of Crows spin off lmao)

and finally, what are you up to today? Dinner at restaurant I planned to catch up eith my old workmates bc I didn't get to do a farewell dinner when I left in December 🥰

TAG GAME: FANDOM EDITION 💖

Your Name: Myn

Your Age: XXVI

Your First Fandom(s): I think Violet x Tate from American Horror Story

Your Current Fandom(s): Gallavich & Wesper (my book babies got adapted to tv y'all 🤧💕)

How did you first get into fandom? I think i got i more into the fandom culture in 2012 but i did take a break for like maybe 3 years bc I had no idea how the site worked or how to make friends haha. So i missed many of the iconic tumblr moments.

How long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? I remember reading animr fanfic since year six or year 7 so in 2008/2009 & I joined tumblr in 2012 as a more passive participant spam reblogging bc I had no idea how the site worked at first lol. Then I became a more active participant in the gallavich fandom in 2022 when I decided to post my first gallacrafts in feb 🥰

How often do you read fanfics? Every single day & every spare hour I can spare

Top 3 characters from your current fandom(s):

Mickey my beloved Milkovich, Ian sweetface Gallagher & Sandy darling Milkovich

Wylan Van Sunshine, Jesper hotshooter Fahey & Kazzle Dazzle Brekker

Have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! Not yet, but I oh so plan to I got wips summaries coming out the wahzoo

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, shout it out! Yess i am so happy to have made some fanart for our lovely Macy's fanfic Your Message Has Been Received, Gallavich × Good Omens fanart for Gallacrafts & other art found in the tag #Myn's art

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about:

Ian gets the fucking Monica boobs tattoo fixed omfg it'll be a touching tribute to her not whatever the fuck that was. Also Mick gets Ian's name fixed too. They could do it together & then get tattoos that symbolise each other on their bods

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? Ohh CLUB KISS CLUB KISS CLUB KISS

Shadow and Bone

Under carriage scene! Recognised his man by being on top of him. The muscles memory of it all 😏

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? Fandom gave me back my creative passion back. Something I thought I had lost & desperate wanted back but had no idea how, but by finding all of you beautiful, amazingly sweet & brilliant minds that came together out of the love our soft & sensitive husbands I found a safe place & a home where I can share what I create which is my love. So thank you all forever for being in my life 🥹

Also this Picrew too & this is basically my outfit for dinner just a lighter brown dress with plaid & minus the frog hat sadly 😔🐸

I'll tag these dearhearts if they wanna play @scarcrosseduntouched @andthatisnotfake @adakechi @skies-below @ lingy910y @imikhailotakeyouian @babygirlmickey @too-schoolforcool @gardenerian @creepkinginc @demontargaryen @chicanomick @suzy-queued @tomorrowillmissyou @ intotheblindinglight @lalazeewrites @tellmegoodbye @jomilky @darthvaders-wife @flamingbluepanda @crossmydna @depressedstressedlemonzest @gallavichgeek @gallavichsbitch @shameless-notashamed @callivich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @bravemikhailo @7x10mickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @suchagallabitch @iansw0rld @ deathclassic @grabmyboner @y0itsbri @grumpymickmilk

[c28hunter]

Man, I don't know what else I could say now, just thanks for the info anon // Kelly’s racism and her support for bolsonaro are sadly just the tip of the iceberg I fear. But people don’t care about the bad things Kelly did/does in her life because she shared pictures of max and let’s people live through her account and let’s them have “access” to boyfriend!max and dad!max content. Also every single time Kelly is in hot waters because of her own actions she doesn’t post for like 1/2 weeks and everything is forgotten.

I was like you and knew nothing about her at first when I got back into f1. I just saw people complaining how Kelly is getting “so much hate” because she is simply dating max. Then I saw her posting her propaganda for bolsonaro and started looking into him and the terrible things he said and does/did. I also took a closer look at her highlights especially during the beginning of covid or at her feed. How she used a holocaust memorial in Berlin for a photoshoot of herself posing on top of it. Or her barely naked <1 year old daughter many times and fully naked daughter as well. Or how she has group chats with her fans on Instagram. Mind you her fan accounts are run by 13-15 year olds. Maybe some are older now but they were and still are currently 13 year olds that run fan accounts for her that are in contact with her. She shared private information about max, herself and their travel plans (that not even red bull or maxs family knew at the time) with her minor fans.

One positive thing I can say is that her first story about Palestine/Israel was nice and I also believe genuine but the rest were not. She always times the stories about Palestine with ads on her feed. She has huge gaps between talking about it too. I believe the last time she shared more than 1 story was in February or March and she posted a few stories about a photoshoot she arranged for herself, then like 2/4 stories about Palestine, a post on her feed about the pictures she had taken on the streets in Monaco and some more stories. I don’t have the exact order in my head because it has been a couple of weeks but it was something around that.

But I absolutely understand you right now too. I liked her content because of her aesthetic a while back. But your drawings look nice. You have talent.

If you truly want to look into the things Kelly did that are not cool and correct there are a few blogs on tumblr that talk about it and I’m pretty sure you’ll find them without that much effort because they have gotten quite famous across multiple social media apps.

Ah yes, tbh it looks like one more example of that rich girl who grew up without any struggles and has no idea where the line between good taste and promotion is. This is just disgusting.

As much as I don't think that, if you are a celebrity you don't have to post about Palestine/Israel all the time but if you do, then have at least some human decency and don't post about your own achievements minutes after. Just have some taste.

And group chats with minor fans? Jesus, that is just... Ugh

I think I wanted to see Kelly as someone more than just a pretty face and a daughter of a rich daddy, but yet again I reckon I was wrong.

Thanks for more info, that really gives me a fuller picture

And thanks for the compliment of my art and for being understanding. When I first saw an anon ask I was slightly worried that I'll get threats and just hate for the drawing, but luckily it wasn't the case

[zarvasace]

if you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Another? 😅 Okay. How about three formative experiences?

1. In high school I was known as a happy person obsessed with Disney (I was maybe a little obnoxious, but I enjoyed myself, which is what matters.) Junior year, I thought, hey, what if I went goth for Halloween? That'd be so funny, antithetical to myself. Aaaaand then I did some research, found (among other things) the website Gothic Charm School and a YouTube playlist full of goth music, and oh man we're really in it now. I'd always loved Halloween and the spooky, and I found that I really loved the music and aesthetics and realized that I could do that for myself. I could do that. Years later and I'm still happy with my decisions. Lesson learned: I like goth music and dressing that way too.

2. For a period of time a few years ago, I was unable to walk without a lot of joint pain. Stairs were awful and so was anything else. I was very glad that my bedroom was on the ground floor! It took a year or more of seeing the chiropractor multiple times a week to start feeling better, and even now I go once a week. I still remember the first time I took the stairs one level down to the office instead of the elevator. I still experience a bit of pain every so often but not nearly as much or as often! If you ever see me skipping or jumping down the stairs or dancing as I walk, it isn't because I want to be obnoxious, it's because I'm happy, and I'm so so grateful to be able to do it.

3. Abstract art requires a different sort of thinking. People understand representational art much more readily, and make the jump to look for symbolism a little more easily. I mean, it's easier for me personally to hypothesize about Manet's Bar at the Folies-Bergere than it is about Pollock's Lavender Mist. I really enjoyed university art history classes, particularly the one that discussed pre- and post-medieval art. I think people's ideas of what art is supposed to be is really cultural and generational and subjective—but that's a different discussion.

My moment was, after half a semester marking the developments from frescoes to mannerism to impressionism and everything in between, Brancusi's Bird in Space was presented, and it really did something for me. I haven't seen it in person, but I can imagine the way the reflections warp across the surface, and it really does look like this piece of metal is moving, somehow. Seeing this and almost getting it connected something for me, and abstract art is easier for me to talk about, now. It's not just the meaning or the symbols or the metaphors but the experience of seeing it, physically what it looks like or feels like or sounds like. I could go on and on. But this piece holds a special place in my heart:

Doesn't it soar?

[abiiors]

All of this puts into perspective how parasocial loving a band/ celebrity is. I truly used to think I got Matty, but his silence on this (and the fact it even happened in the first place) confuses me. Like, when I was 16 and he was shouting about abortion on stage in Alabama, I thought: this guy gets it, that’s a true feminist.

And I know the podcast is post ironic and leftist. And I know ultimately Matty does care about women’s issues. But it annoys me that he can care, yet also be so flippant about women (especially woc). I guess it reminds me that, despite everything in his music and rousing speeches before songs, he really is just a white man… I don’t think I’m articulating this right. It’s like I, a woman, thought he was on my side and he is… but he can hop across the fence and laugh at some horrific jokes because his white man status affords him this. It affords him the option to care. Whereas women have no choice but to because it’s real for us.

I don’t believe he’s a Misogynist or a Racist, but he has become Apathetic. He says he disagrees with virtue signalling and expecting musicians to be morally woke, which I agree with, but I think it’s fair to expect consistency… you say you care, so care.

Previous anons are right: he knows that it’ll blow over if he stays silent, another privilege afforded to white men.

It feels to me that Matty has been too overcome with the post-ironic, nihilistic culture that’s been cultivated online in recent years. He’s forgotten that it is important to care about people. It is important to not laugh at racist jokes, even if they are said in the context of irony and leftism. Because people’s feelings transcend whatever cultural commentary you’re attempting to take part in. This is something he addressed in ATPOAIM with Caveh Zahedi, where he says that the lore of John Burroughs is great, but his wife living would’ve been more important. Matty knows people should come before ‘art’. So he says all the right things, but I wish actions followed.

Ultimately, I suppose I am struggling to reconcile supporting a band that has become so passive. The 1975 were so significant in my development as a person- they were my teenage years. I sometimes miss who I thought Matty was because, as a 15 year old with no idea what I was doing, he became an anchor (I know you’re looking for salvation in the secular age, and all that). But that is all HUGELY parasocial. I’m an adult now and I think I’m going to distance myself from the band.

I’m an adult and today is a very sunny day so I’m going to get offline and get outside, rather than continue to partake in some discourse on a man I am coming to realise I never actually knew. It’s sad and the end of an era for me, but it’s just becoming too much hassle being so invested in this band! And yes, that does make me feel horrible because of what ICBMIL is about, but Matty won’t miss me, as an individual.

Anyway! Sorry for the rant. I hadn’t intended it to be so long, and maybe I shouldn’t have sent it to you and I should’ve just posted it. But I suppose this is kind of my closing statement on the 1975 because I’m going to deactivate my blog after this. Damn.

I’m so sorry about what you’re feeling rn <33

you articulated it really really well and it breaks my heart that someone who was so important to you once has disappointed you so thoroughly. your decision to not support them after all of this is completely valid and sure, you’re one person in the grand scheme of things but you matter and your feelings on this matter.

@trumanblackblog if you see nothing else on my blog, i sure hope you see this. and choose to do the right thing

i hope you have a great day and idk your blog but i hope you do come back to tumblr in the future <33

[sunglasses-for-vampires]

Parents and informing dynamics

I've been seeing a few posts about how Enid's parents aren't great, and I just saw another piece about how Morticia tells Wednesday what Enid whats to hear from her own mother.

First of all, block me (may have to block my main blog, vynsvision, but fucking block me) if you think Enid's father isn't doing enough. He's doing the best he can. Enid's mom is pressuring, and I would say even verbally abusing Enid- and her father is very quiet during these moments. It is clear that he experiences the same verbal attacks as Enid does, although probably on a different subject. (Not sure what, as we don't see it. Maybe that hes not man enough? Clearly the mom is the leader of the pack here, not dad.) His encouragement to Enid is the best he can do safely.

Anyway, I think the parents of the students we see and their relationships and dynamics with their kids, and how their kids react, is SO fascinating.

Wednesday's parents love her and are so proud of her. They don't want her to be a new version of themselves- that's something Wednesday thought they wanted. Many parents do put expectations and hopes on their children to be better than themselves, but their kids fall short or reject those plans. Many children look at their parents and are afraid to become them. Morticia and Gomez just Wednesday to find her own way. They truly will be proud of her and accepting of her whatever she chooses. Once she realizes this, she settles more comfortably into Nevermore. After all, she's defending the school in a prophecy, and there's a serial-killing monster out and about. Morticia and Gomez didn't directly seem to deal with that. Shes well on her way to doing her own thing.

Enid, as mentioned, is not living up to her parent's expectations. Or rather, her mother's. She's 13 (or so?) and hasn't wolfed-out yet. Her mother wants to send her to a camp that will help the wolfing-out happen, no doubt by being put through scary events (kinda like She-Hulk's first episode in the show, but. With worse results.) and other motions and steps. Enid, from the start, tells her parents she doesn't desire this for herself, but her mother wants to send her anyway. Her father understands Enid's desires, but has no courage to stand up to her mother, or can't because (as mentioned) it wouldn't be safe for him to do so. His seeing her as she is and accepting her as she is is the best he can do. And I think its enough.

Xavier's dad being famous and then also not showing up on parent's day/weekend... oh honey. I dont know if a mom is mentioned, but I dont believe so. If no mom is present in his life, he actually seems to parallel Tyler pretty well. Both boys seemingly just have their fathers, and their fathers are much more interested in their jobs than talking about the elephants in the rooms- for Xavier, Mr. Thorpe doesn't seem to appreciate or approve of Xavier's inherent ability to make his art almost come to life. For Tyler, Sheriff Galpin is focused on the case and also refusing to talk about Tyler's mother. Tyler wants, I guess, to be left alone by his father, and Xavier is left alone.

Bianca Barclay, apparently the closest thing Nevermore has to royalty, and she ran away from home to be at the school. She changed her name and sirened her way into the school, hoping it to he a refuge. She pretends to know that her mother isn't coming, and that Bianca doesn't care her mom won't show, but then is shocked and uncomfortable seeing her mother there. Then we see that Bianca left because her now-step-father and mother made a wellness cult, basically. * Bianca doesn't want anything to do with her mother or step-father.

*[this wellness cult storyline seemed to not really go anywhere, but I think her mom said she had until the end of the school year to say her goodbyes, so maybe s2 (which would be the Spring semester?) well delve into this a little more and have Wednesday help Bianca prove that the cult is dangerous and just wants peoples money, resolves Bianca's relationship with her mom, and stays at school??? No idea. A pal can hope. I also hope that its not thrown to be convoluted, but that "wellness" influencers n shit is/can be genuinely dangerous in the real world.]

Eugene's moms aren't in the story a lot, but personally I just think it was really sweet that the were super loving and supportive of him. Of course, we only saw them like once and it was when their son was in a coma. But still very sweet.

Seeing the students' relationships with their parents really helps form and clear what we might expect from the cast. What forms their decisions, what formed them.