#many times I wish I could share things w ppl that I know they would like who aren't creators but they dont track a tag so 🤷🏻

[anyataylorjoys]

seeing so many fellow creators' gifsets getting under 180 notes with an average reblog to like ratio of 1:3 is so disheartening. less and less people are putting out content cause it seems that no one cares anymore.

If you truly care about supporting creators at all, I encourage everyone to have a tracked tag in this economy whether you make content or not, you probably have mutuals who would love to share things with you and can't.

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[rpgbabe]

Fav blogs? 🩶

genuinely too many to list :C there are so many wonderful blogs/ppl on here that ive been foloing/mutuals with for so long for a good reason. i dont wanna cop out and say 'everyone i reblog from' or 'everyone i follow' or anything like that but just kno.. if i like ur stuff and interact w u, that's all genuine + real + ur one of my favs for sure bc i dont fake that stuff. (also if i foloed u on my new blog bc.. i honestly couldnt be assed to find any1 but my favs on here lmao) follows + reblogs of non-original pictures can be shallow but if im actually liking ur personal stuff n everything, i like you and probably want to kno u better :.) i couldnt list all of the ppl in this category bc theres too many + id def miss ppl BUT to actually give you a genuine answer, i do have some blogs that stand out to me bc of their personality + impact + just our general interactions/connection soo

@comingtoyoursenses angel. actual positivity (not like fake positive shallow phony stuff).. beautiful literary sense, soso sweet. she is actually the light <3 not sure how she puts up w me im so negative but i never feel judged by her wah perfection. genuinely too good for me or any1, inspires me to be better :,) also ik i dont need to say more but i feel like she just has a rare nuanced eye for things like so many well-intentioned ppl on here will like see things in black and white and be rly unaccepting of others but i feel like liz has a rare ability to genuinely be open-minded n it's a very special quality imho

@eucalyptus111 honestly one of the realest ppl ive met on here.. i love how she never bullshits + isnt scared to tell me what she rly thinks, conversation comes so naturally bc she's so interesting + so honest + genuine + actually takes the time to rly get to know ppl which is shockingly rare -_- it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable around ppl so quick but w her it's so natural <3 feel like i've known her 4ever

@sklira so talented, so modest, so unique. always introducing me to new things (unintentionally loll) + always standing out from others like so so refreshing. also feel like we have similar passions for like old web/retro gaming/that culture, even tho we're also so diff (bc sklira is way cooler than me ofc heh..) just such a genuine love for art and music and film that isn't just manufactured for internet popularity, one of the rare ppl actually using the internet as it's intended i feel

@blackmold just <3333333. she knows how i feel.. in another life we'd be soulmates. always thinking of her + wishing her the best

@exnymphette kissing on the lips. soul tie. sharing a heart.. one of the only ppl on here i feel like i could just bare my entire soul n she would probably not judge me or hate me for it ;-; need her bak

and ofc everyone like this that has deactivated or become less active, they know who they are, i love them sm 4evr <33!

aand i could do like a whole other section just for aes blogs/non-personal blogs that r just rly cool so.. silent s/o to all of them ofc.. i wont bog down this list too much bc it's already 2 much v.v if u r looking for like actual blog recs tho maybe i can try to answer that sometime as well bc that's probably more like actually useful for other ppl lmao<3

[troglobite]

alksdfj

i am permanently stuck in "everything i do is wrong i am a miserable piece of shit ruining everyone's lives" and all it's doing is ruining everyone's lives

damned if i do damned if i don't

i'm simply tired

and all i want is to not be alone and be w my mom

and i'm just. my mom. i know she doesn't want to deal w me or be around me. she left one hellhole of a place where she had to wait hand and foot on so many ppl. and now she's back here. and it's like. a reminder. oh right her entire life is miserable and awful bc of what she has to do for everyone. she has to support me. i'm fucking dead weight. i SHOULD be dead. i'm useless. i offer nothing. i'm 29 and i live at home. i don't have a proper job. i'm ruled by fear and phobias. i'm disabled and sick. i am just dead weight.

&i can't just die or disappear. it would make ppl sad. it would be an inconvenience. and i'm selfish and afraid of doing that.

i just want to press pause on everyone and everything and sleep for a long time and maybe re-earn the right to exist and maybe then i won't need things.

my mom's just getting mad at me for apologizing but all i've done since she's been home is Need Things. i'm tired of everyone, including me, just Needing Things from her. she can't just have her own life. i just make everything miserable.

sharing that misery makes it worse for everyone. pretending like everything's fine makes it worse bc i inherently make things worse. trying to apologize makes things worse.

there is no option for things where i don't make things worse.

i wish i could go back in time and stop myself from ever existing. i'd save ppl so much fucking trouble.

i'm so deeply deeply annoying and worse, inconvenient. a drag. a dead weight. a soulsuck. a bottomless pit of useless.

and i'm truly sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm like this. i'm sorry i'm scared. i'm sorry i need help w stuff. i'm sorry it's so much. i'm sorry i'm just another thing on top of all the worst stuff.

i'm humiliated abt how badly i was handling things in front of my only fucking friends irl. i'm a disgusting pit of shit. i'm so tired. i'm so tired and i haven't even done anything but sit here and be completely pathetic and useless.

days just pass by and what's the fucking point.

i don't deserve any of this. electricity, food, water, a place to sleep, warmth, cool, nothing. i don't deserve it. and here i am being selfish and pathetic just taking it anyway.

i can't even apologize right. i can't do anything right. i try and i try and i just hurt ppl or annoy ppl or take up time and space and energy for ultimately no point.

i'm sorry i'm so fucking sorry

[girlboyzone]

ok ive finished :) and i do have thoughts. area unknown has been really special. its a rare bird in terms of minecraft content and theres just so many important stories being told there. the way it relates to the wider sunship canon or whatever its called is amazing, and the otehr ppls content like oli's dedicated grinding, moonzy's beautiful buildings or graaavel's awesome lore (HIS LORE VIDEO WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. THE MUSIC????? YEA), was all so amazing to witness.

BUT i do have some criticisms if you dont mind me sharing. none of it is with ill intent and i understand why the decisions that were made happened but i still think its worth pointing out.

im disappointed with how aimsey and scott's arc was left off, because i dont think it reached a satisfying conclusion at all and the loose threads they left didn't feel like a culmination of their relationship. aimsey and scott's conversations are some of my favourite parts of the lore because their relationship is so, SO interesting and really worth exploring. so ending it by saying "scott just got bored and went back to hell" was not a good move i feel. i really wanted to see something more there.

guqqie does touch on hera's influence when she discovers the grave but to be honest i dont understand why she was allowed to get married to aimsey and have a happy ending. hera has made a point of dooming them in every single universe and she just loves torturing her little experiment, and her influence has continued into season two with egging aimsey and oli on with the lab, so i really don't understand why guqqie was able to seperate herself from this and later get married when that has never been allowed before

i guess that everything was intentionally left pretty open ended so things could change in future, guqqie did say she'd write something up later this week which could give answers to what i mentioned above. and who knows, maybe in the years guqqie and aimsey were split hera could have been defeated in some way. maybe guqqie went back and confronted her or something idk. i would really like to see something like that though. and of course that open-endedness leaves room for aimsey and scott to do something which would also be great. but yeah those are my less great thoughts about the finale. but do not be fooled just because it wasnt absolutely perfect didnt mean i didnt enjoy it/think it was bad

FORTUNATELY it has given me a great window to start working on that au because i really want to develop scott and aimseys arc, explore aimsey's feelings as a demon and the horror that comes with that, and his relationship to hera because the one time they interacted always gives me chills. so i think the finale was flawed but thats ok because now i can go in and do awesome stuff with my own ideas for a bad ending. because i like hera cannot let the characters rest. ineed to be stopped hehehe

but yeah apart from that i did really enjoy the finale. it did feel like area unknown. the party, never have i ever, michela being hilarious and caitees being weird, and of course heartbreaking sunship lore. it genuinely gave me the same warm feeling as when i was watching through all those vods from 2022 when they were just messing around or screaming at each other in the rain. area unknown needed to end. no one seemed to want or have the time/inspiration/motivation to do stuff on it anymore, and the characters needed a conclusion and to be let go so they could just be in their own right. i'm glad that its done. it was really special. i cant wait to see what everyone does next :3

i agree heavily on the scott and aimsey topic, i wish we could’ve gotten more development of their relationship or seen scott in s2 bc there was a psrt of his house i think somewhere and then he was never mentioned again iirc, but they were probably both too busy or something to do anything which is ok i’ll just make it up in my head :3

and i hope there is a bit more of something w hera and auguqqies whole thing and how hera allowed ausunship to get married, or how all that went. i’m just really curious

anyways love u sneef thank u for liveasking to me this has been very fun :333 <3 im rlly glad u liked area unknown!!!!!!!

[mskinkyafro]

Natasha doesn’t bother me for pursuing Stefan — I do not want that man. But it really irks me that she’s constantly gossiping, both about MC and her relationship w Stefan, and just about everyone in general. Her beef where it was revealed she had all this to say about all the other women rubbed me the wrong way; why are they making that her only personality?

I’m not doing a Natasha route but she’s so pretty and she seems really fun. I just wish the writers would let her expand her topics of conversation from MC/Stefan to literally anything else. Does that make sense?

I’m not trying to diss Natasha. Again, she’s gorgeous and I couldn’t care less who she couples with (I’m flirting with her man Hamish so what can I say about her and Stefan). I think more than anything the writers hate her and are making her kinda gossipy, which feels… icky considering she could be a LI. Idk. I think I’m crazy

1. To answer your point she’s always gossiping, maybe I’m forgetting things or not reading into it enough, but I don’t feel like she gossips a lot. I feel like the part that was capture on the PDA Awards was the bulk of it. And also the moment with Melissa. I feel like her gossip level is similar to everyone in the house bc they have nothing to do BUT interact with each other and “gossip”. You can apply it to literally everyone else. Shit even my man Finn, was desperate for some tea during the kiss during hide n seek between Kat and whoever. Like they all do.

To your credit, I agree with the writers have had her bring up Stefan and Mc relationship too much. Which is annoying. That I wish they would have done better at feeding that to the player without using her as much. I think they needed to a certain activity discuss more about what went wrong in everyone past relationships or instead of paywalling it, airing out what happen in everyone season since some people are in the loop or out of it regarding the other islanders season.

And Natasha shared a season with Mc so even though she constantly bring them up, I see it as her way of trying to discuss or compare their different journeys navigating the same season.

Now this might be my bias coming in, but I feel like her commentary or “gossip” isn’t any different from like mc’s own that typically we see in the thought bubbles or comebacks during challenges. So I guess it just boils to personal preference and how we perceive the writing, but I just see it as no different from Mc commenting or being savage to people’s face. Hers just got aired in the most messy way.

2. I agree and ultimately still blame the writers as a whole from keeping her as our go to lore character. And therefore we hardly get more about her personality. We see that a lot with the entire cast.

Especially when there’s so much more interesting things about her. She’s a dog groomer, is it high end or specialized in certain breeds. She’s really flexible, was she a gymnast star?

Like so many things. I guess for me, I tend to really hone in on those things and run with it to help fill in the gaps. But it’s annoying that as a player I HAVE to do that bc they don’t give them more time to talk about more things.

3. But lastly, You’re not really the demographic target for my rant LOL. I just was annoyed by moreso ppl who don’t even want Stefan or on a non Stefan route pissed off at her when in my eyes , the very qualities they claim that makes her snakey or bad friend is the very same ones Mc can have and typically does. Ones that we later revere.

Or better yet, Kat still gets hate typically but we got some who prefer her over Nat and I’m like, Kat has been the absolute WORST compared to Nat. Like cmon now.

And yes, honestly the writers once again set up the black female character for mistreatment. They know damn well a certain chunk of this fandom can’t resist it. So yknow. It is what it is. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’m never surprised.

But appreciate your reasonings, nonny. Like I said, you’re not who I’m aiming my critiques to but still. I see where you coming from and appreciate it nonetheless.

[scarletanpan]

.

Ill shut up about my gender soon I swear but like. The thing where I would get physically uncomfortable as a kid when I would hear any recording of my voice bc it sounded way deeper to me. Was that some kind of dysphoria ? I chalked it up to not understanding how sound processing works but idk.. it made me Real upset. And my voice still gives me dysphoria now bc like have u heard Sade?? I wanna be her.. I blame her I was obsessed w soldier of love as a kid

Bc idk my childhoods spotty but i remember many weird thoughts and feelings. Wasn’t just the voice thing, also believed that further proof of being a boy and no one telling me was just. Having 'boy' interests?? Even tho I shared half of them w my sisters. And idk strange yearning every time we went to the store bc I wanted to go to the boy clothes section so bad. Didnt know why. Assumed I felt like I was missing out bc idk video game tshirts but it was def more than that..

Like in 5th grade my ‘im secretly a boy’ theory died bc I met my homeroom teacher and went ‘oh wait ladies can have deep voices too. nevermind’ (forgot sade existed ig??) and never thought abt it again. Also puberty happened. But ik middle school i was still on something bc yea I made friends w nerdy guys bc same interests but. I was always staring at them, kind of wished i could be them?? Like esp my friend who was my neighbor, i was desperate for approval so i’d bring over my aunts laptop and he’d play gta the whole time while i sat there and just put in the cheat codes i memorized what a weird fucking time. And he had a cool brother and father, I went over there a lot, i def felt envious of idk. Everything abt it?? I can’t even put it into words

Not mentioning the shit where I pretended to be a boy in yt comments as a kid and def felt a little happy when ppl would he/him me. But only online, if anyone thought I was a boy in person I got mad and hurt like huh?? What was goin on in my child brain

And I picked Ethan in heartgold. Like fucking pack it up the evidence is starting to get overwhelming atp.. Red was my yt icon too and just a fav, still is love him, but yea kept picking guys up until u could change clothes in pkmn. The way it adds up im… idk lots to think abt. I still like being nb bc why limit urself to one gender when u can have them all but. Being a guy might be my favorite idk its fun

And I have to talk to my doctor in 4 hrs and this time I Won’t get to scared to ask abt T I swear

[peachjagiya]

i’m kinda sick of waiting around to find out if tkk is real or not. i want to know. deep down ik they will probably never come out even if they are together but still. i just want to know or at least have seen interactions that make me feel 100% sure they are together. i hate this back and forth are they or aren’t they bullshit. ik they don’t owe us anything and it’s their private life but im rlly going to be so upset if it comes out at some point down the line that jk and tae are straight or dating other ppl. like how long am i going to be compelled to keep track of their every interaction/movement to confirm or refute my beliefs ? i just wish things were clearer.

also the two of them constantly being in dating rumors w girls is not helpful at all. i feel like there is so much that should be convincing me that they are dating other ppl but i just can’t shake the belief that there’s something more between them. but maybe im projecting my own desires. like i keep seeing this shit abt winter and jk and jk w the girl in the leaked apartment vid. and i do believe that apartment video was completely real. so ive just convinced myself it wasn’t a romantic interaction and hes just physically affectionate w all of his friends. but i honestly know that sounds like utter bullshit and it probably was a girl he was hooking up with. and then tae w jennie which i feel pretty strongly was pr but ig it could’ve been pr at the same time as them actually dating? like their companies used their actual relationship for pr purposes? idk i just feel like most of the general public accepts both jk and tae as straight and the general public does tend to typically be right ? like how many times has it been that an artist who is widely considered straight and is a heartthrob to so many girls turns out to have been into men all along ? idk i think i just wish i didn’t believe in tkk bc life would be easier but i love them so much and i can’t just stop believing. but i have so many questions and im not a patient person lol so i want to know the truth. but ill most likely never get it.

I've had days like this.

But I think we really do need to get used to the idea that we'll probably never know and reframe accordingly.

If they're straight, or have gfs or just confirmed not dating, what factually changes? They're still close, still share a deep bond. They're still enjoyable and sweet as a duo. My enjoyment of them isn't dependent on them smooching.

I love Taekook as a couple, I love Taekooking. But more than all of that, I love Tae and I love Jungkook. The idea there might be more to them is nice and quite convincing but ultimately, I can enjoy them as a non-romantic pairing and I'd probably continue to post about them as such.

It's worth remembering you can never be 100% sure without a confirmation. I'm like 95% sure there's a romantic element but I've also allowed myself to become comfy with that 5% so I'm at peace with it. This is why I tend not to post in certainties but more like "here's why I think it is" or, more often than not, "here's why I don't believe that debunks them"

You're not necessarily asking for advice but that's mine.

Thanks anon 💜 I'm sorry you're getting tired of it but this stuff all still happened whether or not they're boyfriends and you can still think it's lovely.

Or..... You could assume they're in love and they just don't know. 😂

[saetoru]

hiiii i hope you know how much i love ghe way u write haitham !!! also sooo true haitham is definitely autistic!! (me too haitham me too) i think u get how haitham is actually a quite kind and selfless person despite people think hes arrogant, egoistical and such but like if u read some if his voicelines like the one where hes asked what concerns he has he says smth not about him but how people tend to hurt themself and like cmon would an egoistical person have that concern??? also he doesnt look down on anyone its just he knows how capable he is and like ughhhh i feel like ur writing is a breath of fresh air cause like some people make it seem like hes some arrogant dude BUT HES NOT HES JUST AUTISTIC GUYS like when people say they dont like him and its just traits that autistic people usually have…. anyway thank you for sharing ur writing i love going through ur haitham tag it makes my day

HELLO HI I LITERALLY READ THIS LIKE 3 TIMES AND MY SMILE GOT SOOOO BIG EACH TIME IM GONNA TRY NOT TO RAMBLE AS I ANSWER THIS

but omg yesyesyes i agree he’s got so much pointing towards him being autistic and ppl will bash so many things ab him and it makes me so sad but also i’m like … maybe u ppl just don’t like traits that tend to describe autistic ppl idk … BUT i read so many fics of him being autistic and i see kaveh having adhd a lot in fics where they’re written to be neurodivergent and i think the authors i’ve read from so far have done such a good job of writing them and yeah. u get it. he’s definitely got sensory issues i know this is so real and true in my heart

AND HE IS SOOOOOOO KIND. i think ppl gloss over the fact that al-haitham doesn’t look down at anyone so much like everything about this man is so disciplined. so disciplined. like someone of his intelligence in a nation like sumeru could do sooo much bad but he literally just wants to have simple life where he goes to work and goes right home HE JUST WANTS PEACE. and his voice lines IF PPL WOULD JUST READ THEM. like the one about when ppl read difficult and abstruse books and then he says “jk i don’t enjoy watching ppl struggle lol” AND YES. THE ONE WHERE HE BASICALLY WOES ABOUR HOW PPL MAKE THEIR LIVES MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT NEEDS TK BE. he’s so caring by nature and i feel like even he doesn’t even understand that to some extent like i think he sees himself as a practical guy who just wants everyone to have peace for the sake of practicality. BUT HE ALSO JUST. CARES. YOU KNOW ?????????? they way it’s just canon that he’s misunderstood by ppl at the akademiya and he just doesn’t bother to correct them bc he doesn’t care to. THROWS UP HES SOOOOOOOOOO LOVELY I WISH MORE PPL WOULD SEE IT. i cannot tell u how many fics i read and then have to close bc. they just. THEY MAKE HIM SO ARROGANT AND MEAN BUT ARROGANCE =/= CONFIDENCE. he’s aware of his capabilities okay :( he’s not some condescending know it all. im just rly picky ab the way he’s written fjsjdjf so then i’m like. ok. i gotta write the content i wanna see 😔

but omg i’m rly glad you read and like my haitham writing sometimes i get carried away and make it so like…self servicing w the way i write him and the dialogue and then i get embarrassed to post it skfjsjfn but i’m very excited u like it I AM KISSINF U ON THE MOUF and also i am kissing ur brain for understanding him

[ambelle]

Just had a random thought about DC Titans and Dickkory. *bear w/me, it's kind of long, sorry.*

I listen to your podcast & remember something being mentioned about how some DK fans may be a little confused about the genre of the show, and I think that could be accurate.

I grew up reading and watching a fair amount of anime and manga. As you may know, specific labels are used to describe different genres. The two I mainly engaged in were either Shounen or Shoujo (pretty common and popular genres).

shounen

• a genre of Japanese comics and animated films aimed primarily at a young male audience, typically characterized by action-filled plots.

shoujo

• a genre of Japanese comics and animated films aimed primarily at a young female audience, typically characterized by a focus on personal and romantic relationships.

Now if I had to make an anime/manga comparison for DC Titans I'd definitely say it falls more in the Shounen category, as the main focus is the "action filled plot" as opposed to "romantic relationships". The Shounen media I consumed as a kid usually did have some primary "ship(s)" or romantic elements included, but it was hardly ever the main focus of the plot.

If I happened to like or ship a pairing in a shounen anime or manga, I learned quickly to expect the (romantic) interactions between whatever 2 characters to be sparse and few & far in between. However, it was never too difficult to tell who might eventually be "endgame" bc authors/writers more often then not made it a point to imply throughout the series that those characters hv feelings for eachother & will likely end up together in the end.

Even if they didn't hv a whole bunch of overtly romantic time together in the series, this was usually enough to satisfy me, bc it's just not the type of genre where that happens or is a priority.

I say all this to say, that's exactly how I feel about DK in Titans. Like I get why some ppl might feel cheated or unsatisfied but if you pay attention to how the structure of the show has always been, expecting all this "shoujo"-esque, romantic drama was just not realistic. Do I agree that DK could've had better & more development in seasons 2 & 3? Sure. But tbh I've rewatched the seasons, and the scenes they do share together were always important & impactful. It wasn't a reach to assume they would end up together. In typical Shounen fashion, it doesn't officially happen until the very end 🤷🏾‍♀️ but as long as it happens, me personally, I'm happy.

Oh, I love this comparison and wholeheartedly agree!

When I watched the pilot I knew right off the bat this show was selling me action first and foremost. I even feel like they go out of their way to create as many fight scenes as possible and when they can't fill the time building up to that the plot gets a little wonky.

In my opinion, I credit Prathi's addition to the writing staff as to why things were so much clearer romantic-wise in s3 & 4. Had she been around in season 2 I know DK wouldn't have gotten together but I do think they would have been more obviously romantic.

I also feel like Hank and Dawn's awful writing is proof they didn't know what to do with couples when they were together long-term. They actively dodged really writing Dickbabs as a couple for more than 2 episodes. It's hard not to notice.

So do I wish there were more shoujo elements in the first 2 seasons? Yes absolutely. Do I also love all that season 4 is so much about Dickkory that Dick doesn't even have another storyline lol? Yes.

Both can be true.

It just wasn't a romance show which is why they were all undercooked (Jayrose, DonnaGarth, Dickbabs, etc) or terrible to witness (cough cough Hank &Dawn) except for, ironically, Dickkory. Cause they got together at the very end but it's not quite out of nowhere. They've been a thread 1-3 and a complete focus this entire season.

In hindsight, I'm realizing a ton of Dickkory's biggest romantic moments came in the middle of some kind of dramatic fight. From the Trigon dream to Kory showing up to fistfight Deathstroke to him dying and dreaming about their daughter LOL.

[menalez]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[coldbones222]

so y’all . I know from the shxt I post I prob sound toxic asf but I’m actually a deeply understanding person. I wanna tell y’all a bit ab myself so u can understand me better

I’ve been to mental hospitals 6 or 7 times I can’t remember which but def 6 at least and not 8 times so in between there. I’ve been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , complex ptsd and major depressive disorder and i grew up moving around a lot. I went to a lot of different schools and never kept friends for long . I always just cut ppl off. Or ruined things bc I could.

those times I went to hospitals, I probably wouldn’t have went if I had someone to talk to abt what was going on, my mom couldn’t handle all of my issues and never listened to me. she’d get overwhelmed and so I turned to sh and s0bstances , a lot of them..

I’ve been completely sober for over a month now and on nov.12 it’ll be 2 months!!!!! it might not sound like long to some ppl but for me, I used to party so much, every single day, and used s0bstanzes recklessly . one time I d1ed and had to be brought back to l1fe at the emergency room bc of an od.

I’ve been given another chance at life and I want to be happy. The happiest times of my life in these 19 years so far have been when I was at my lw…

I’m not sharing that fact to encourage anyone to l0se lbs or to say u won’t be happy unless ur th1n . ur perfect the way u r. but for me, even tho I was diagnosed w atypical Ana (atypical bc my body weight isn’t underweight but everything else aligns with “normal” Ana. idk. I rly don’t understand it but the way I was treated made me feel so special. I’ve never felt more special and beautiful than when I was at my lw and that is my motivation.

I just wanted to share a little bit ab myself here bc I’m still pissed ab this girl I talked ab in a post a few hrs or so ago, the girl claiming she was in recovery and she didn’t like that I said recovery triggers me.

it made me mad bc I felt misunderstood. She said my post saying recovery triggers me was stupid asf.

but it’s not, to me. it never will be. I didn’t say that to be trendy or whatever she thought, or to be pro. I’m not pro except for myself , and i mean that. I look at ppl with so much love and respect no matter their weight.

it’s just with myself, I have experienced two completely separate lives. one when I was overweight, and one when I was at my lw. and the feelings I had then, I want back so badly. THAT is why I’m here on tumblr.

also to be there if anyone needs someone to talk to. it would make me feel better to be able to use what I’ve been through to be able to help someone else bc I’ve been through so much terrible shxt I couldn’t control and was dragged into by my family growing up. I just wanna be that person I wish I had to talk to during those hard times.

it doesn’t matter if nobody understands bc nobody is me, but I wanted to explain myself just bc I can. there is logic and emotion behind my actions , and I was triggered by that girl. she’s like so many ppl who tell me I don’t need to lose weight.

when ppl tell me I’m fine the way I am , it just makes me feel like they don’t see the happiness I see in me being th1n, which in turn makes me feel very alone.

ofc I hope someone reads even just a part of this post, bc I rly wanna feel seen and understood, not just some wannabe sk1nni girl.

the emotions I feel are very real and although what I post about may seem shallow, the feelings behind my posts run very deep.

[rayvern-sheep]

Update on my mental health: I am doing better! Just in case anyone read those concerning posts the past few weeks and was worried.

I have kinda long-winded advice sorta shit under the cut if you are thinking of top surgery but know you don’t deal w/ change well, or have got it but are wondering why you still feel like shit weeks later when everyone else seems to feel better. And then some more rambling in the tags if you’re into that sorta thing.

Oh boy it’s long under the cut… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Some advice: if you have a hard time w/ big change, small change, any kind of change. Be prepared to have a hard time w/ top surgery recovery. The general consensus if you research it is that post-op depression is over by abt the fourth week, and that is actually deemed late by some sources. Many said the second or third week. If you are starting to feel worse after that point it does not mean you made a mistake! Don’t panic!

Even though I wrote several notes to myself before the procedure explaining that I did in fact want this, and I know I am bad w/ change, that did not help me when I was in the pits of a doom spiral. I’m ngl that was genuinely the worst I’ve been mentally in years. I had to ring a suicide hotline at one point because I thought I’d lost the point of life. Talk to someone you trust abt how you’re feeling. I just straight up sobbed into my mum’s shoulder abt how I didn’t understand anything anymore and I was terrified I’d made a mistake getting surgery. She talked me through it and reminded me that I’d wanted this for years, that I didn’t go outside w/out a binder on, etc. She reminded me that everyone deals w/ things at different times, just because most ppl feel perfectly fine by the one month mark it doesn’t mean I would. Then after that I just hung out w/ her. The day after that we went and did some chores outside the house. A little time outside is often a good idea, I do regret to inform you.

I’m not gonna say I’m all fixed and perfect now. I’m still low energy and back to hiding in my baggy hoodies (now I can get them on again yippee!!!) but I’m not pushing myself rn. And I wish I had some good advice other than idk have a good system of loved-ones. If you have a therapist talk to them. Don’t be like me and bottle shit up. I’m so good at bottling shit up that I do not notice smthn is getting bad until I’m at the very bottom of the fucking doom spiral and I look up and see how far I fell down it lmao.

I wrote a whole diff paragraph but deleted it. Better version though is just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Surgery is exhausting, and feeling burned-out even after a month isn’t smthn to be ashamed of. Just focus on keeping yourself sane. If possible take it easy, do things half-assed and low-effort for a while if you can get away w/ it. Just while you mentally catch up to your new stuff.

For some ppl top surgery “fixes” all their problems, but for most it does not. Whatever mental or physical problems you had before surgery, you will still have. Now, my surgeon literally told me surgery would not fix everything. I knew this before going into this, before I even had my first conversation with him, and I still had a bad fucking time mentally. So don’t expect to feel perfect. I was in a weird surreal bubble for the first like 3(?) weeks where I was just physically recovering before my head fucking lost it.

I don’t wanna put anyone off, and tbh worrying abt how bad you’re gonna feel can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I just wanna say that it can get rough. But if it does, you are not alone!!! You’ve not ruined your life, it’s not the end of the world, you still have something to live for. Keep pushing through, take it slow, talk to someone you trust. Try to do things that comfort you and help you feel safe. You’re gonna get through it.

Idk man I just wanted to share my experience on this. Because in my frantic research from the bottom of the pit all I could see were smiling faces saying they felt the best they’d ever felt in their life. It was euphoria all day every day. And the only ppl who weren’t feeling perfect were the ppl unhappy w/ their results. But the thing is I love my results, everything looks as expected. It’s literally how I drew it lmao, couldn’t have gone better. Not to brag sorry. But the point was, nothing was wrong physically. The majority of the physical healing was done, but my brain hadn’t been healing at all during that time. It was just putting itself to the side while the body did it’s thing. And when even proper medical sources are saying that ppl usually start to feel mentally better after the fourth week, and I was actually starting to feel shitty by that point, it rlly made me worry smthn was wrong. I was frantically trying to blame something for what I was feeling. And it was likely a whole mess of shit, with the main culprit being my inability to process change. Dude I freak out when a loved-one gets a tattoo or a piercing or changes their fucking hair. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. It stresses me out. And although I always get over it eventually, I should’ve known that this was gonna happen. After those early weeks of the itchy haze, I totally should’ve known a mental spiral was on the horizon. But I was just so lost in the sauce that was the whole experience.

I would not change the experience of top surgery for the world. I only wish I’d been more prepared for the dive my mental health would take so late in the game. I expected post-op depression. But as I said that’s usually only in the first couple of weeks. So when it didn’t happen I thought I was okay. But oooooo boy. I forgot how slow my brain is at processing shit. And hey, if I did “make a mistake” in getting my tits chopped off. If in the future I’m like “Hey I’m a woman now!” then so fucking what. There are titless women out there, and they’re no less woman than a woman w/ tits so big they break her back. Life is for living so fucking do that. I’ve not butchered or ruined my body even if my gender does change in the future. Get rekt transphobes.

ANYWAY… I think I’ve rambled enough. If I remember smthn I’ll prob add it in a RB cos this post is already long enough now. Thank fuck for the “read more” function. So I can hide all my stupid mushy shit under here and not clog up someone’s dash. Yippee!!

[ineedacalicocat]

You're literally speaking my mind its crazy, thank you really. I've been a fan of jm (and never of bts cuz they literally always bullied him) since 2016 and really disliked jk in the beginning cuz of how he acted with jm. But then i got into the jikook rabbit hole why? Cuz jk actually did change for awhile then. There was palpable change between jikook and jk was following jm's every move etc. I do think jk, as others were, was jealous of jm's success too but during 17-18 you could see him being jealous of jm rather than of jm's success. He inserted himself to anywhere jm was and all the 3j or jinminkook lives etc were because jk was actually actively inserting himself to jm's life. He wanted to be a part of jm's life, know everything abt him etc. Like other anons said jeonlous was a thing cuz how he behaved was really noticeable by everyone. Even as someone who never shipped real ppl I was drawn to watching them closely cuz of how much jm loved him and how weird some of jk's reactions were towards jm compared to others. Thinking about those times feels like a joke now but as you said, like many others by the end of 2018 i thought whtvr there might've been between jikook was getting shattered. Jm was actually really pissy at jk for awhile but back then jk was still following jm around like a puppy. For me 2019 was rocky and when those rumors came i was done with the ship. Shipping wise one thing was definitely true, 2017-2018 jikook was very very close and in sync and while i dont think they were in proper relationship i think they had smth going on whatever that might be. And Jm really brought out the best in jk. And jk or any fans would never admit but i really think jk being able to do videography back then was cuz jm also became like a muse to him. Its ironic that th ignored everyone then and now comes and acts like a bestie to jk and jk feeds into this and also hangs out with him since jm dumped bith their fake asses. Like everyone is sayin tkk are both similar in how fake they are. And jk feels so antipathetic, directionless and lacks any realness. Like you said having th as your close friend would do that to you lol. All i know is jm doesnt care abt jk anymore and finally saw the light and saved himself from being 'friends' w someone who was never able to respect him even after all the closeness/memories they shared. Its not only this past year too, jm's boundaries and distance has been pretty evident since 2020 (not only with jk but all of them) and i do think he considers only jhope as his friend out of bts. Jhope used to undermine jm too (and was incrediblu jealous before) but i feel like he saw a true friendship in jm compared to others and both are more genuine in their friendship than before. About the recent live, I do also think jk is bitter as fuck tho cuz why say all that about tattoos when he knows what everyone thought. He had all the time to say all this but never did. He's such a spoiled person that i feel like he could even be bitter about jm not contacting him anymore unless he does even tho for years he exploited jm's love and affection. Anyway thank you for your blog. I wish you the best in life ♥️

Omg you said it so good. You summarized it perfectly. Sorry for my bad english. but this is also what I think. But I think why jungkook followed jimin is because jimin was like a idol or a big brother he adored. He always wnated to dance with him. Even he doesnt admit it he saw him as muse and for example like how jimin see taeyang. you know what i mean? Cause when you watch videos from 2016 jungkook alywas wants jimin. Why cause he was the coolest memebr back than coolest dancer. But now all of a sudden jhope is the coolest for him? why? cause after 2020 their plan worked and armies degraded jimin and now all armies see jhope as the only good dancer. When he cant even do one thing jimin can like i dont even wanna start with that converstation cause as some who danced like almost 20 years its crystal clear who is the most verstaile most amazing one! like pls but i dont wanna get into that. But 2020 was ruff. He shined more the ycouldnt handle it. Now them and their fans dont even trend jimin anymore. Thats why you see jhope and namjoon eveywhere. Im sorry but even if you paid me i wouldnt watch a jhope show. He is a good dancer im not saying he is bad he is just not in jimins level. will never be too.

[emypony]

It's the Honkai brainrot fellas

Specifically like. ER + Senti thoughts

Anyway i just. AUGHSHHSHS...

The. Like ok Fu Hua's shadow knight battlesuit looks. Well, it looks. Not bad or good it just IS THERE.

But the way they illustrated her in ER?? LIKE

Literally how can I put it into words that she looks like a little swallow?? Licherally just a little bird (yes i know her name means bird BUT STILL LIKE AUDJJSJS) she's so. Baby she deserves the world oh my god i am filled with SO MUCH EMOTION.

Not gonna touch on what the fuck TM is her outfit (i think it's cute but weird and i think we can all guess why lol Eden girl why did you do Hua like this...girl is flat)

Anyway 2nd part of my brainrot consists of Senti interactions with her and everyone else. Who cares why she's there or how did she even GET THERE but alright.

I do head canon that after the whole Herrscher of Domination chapter, Senti still holds a little bit of resentment for Fu Hua bc of that betrayal so 😔 hot girl summer is gonna have to wait until they reconcile. HOWEVER based on her bridge voice lines she does wish for Fu Hua to be happy so it's a back n forth tho i suppose most of the voice lines were written with some neutral (at least) to friendly relationship in mind.

THAT SAID... I think despite having conflicted thoughts about Sim Hua at first (before they realize who Senti actually is), she'd probably try to be cold and angry to keep up her appeal however she cannot fault Sim Hua for stuff she hasn't done 😞😭 like. Ok Hua is still Hua (as per Mei's comment) however she's still. YOU KNOW SHES THE. like she's just there she's trying her best and is more reserved and shy and doesn't speak her mind that much.

So I'd assume if a fight broke out (as we see in Elysium Everlasting, tho i suppose fight is a bit of a misunderstanding LMAO) Senti would - despite claiming to hate all things Fu Hua (her sim included) PROBABLY would threaten to beat the shit out of anyone who looks at Sim Hua the wrong way.

Kalpas better watch his fucking back. Like 🤨 yeah she 'dislikes' Sim Hua but that doesn't give anyone the right to say anything mean to her or they're gonna fucking get it !!!

I think she feels some sort of closeness w Sim Hua from the shared experience of like. (Well i know she's still been there for 50k years too but you know.) Being pretty new and despite having some experience, STILL being quite unsure where your place is or what you're supposed to do.

Her being fiercely protective of Sim Hua would be an interesting dynamic and I think that'd be really cute lol ((not a ship btw but u know just!! U look at a little scrunkly and u decide that u would kill for them that's pretty much Senti))

OH I ALMOST FORGOT - Sim Hua realizing (with some help from Elysia, Eden and Su what Senti is doing (but also she notices it herself bc Senti weirdly hovers around her and glares at Mobius even when she's just passing by) AND THEN U KNOW JUST!! FINDING OUT THAT SHES LIKE. A HERRSCHER HELP? literally her own future self but not really and also the thing that took away so many loved people in her life is now here in front of her (well it wasn't Senti but Herrschers by design, you get my point) and she's not doing anything wrong and it's conflicting (and sometimes a little heartwarming) and even fun sometimes if Sim Hua decides to reach out to Senti a few times and watch her fumble with words because she's not expecting it

Anyway let!! Them!! Interact!! And maybe let Senti bite Kalpas i think that'd also be fun. Beating him up in the Elsyian parking lot

Anyway wow i rambled a lot thanks for coming to my Ted talk ((pls engage with this bc I'd love to hear other ppls thoughts jdjdjhdshshh lmao)) anyway i could not resist keeping these thoughts to myself and you all get to hear it!!!!

[carolmaximoffs]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAIT OMFG i can’t believe so many of the coolest ppl in my life that i know are aquas. ily you’re NINETEEN that’s wild!! you know i love a good roommates or friends w benefits fic gimme gimme gimme 😗💜

a/n: THIS IS SO LATE AGH...here is your long overdue wanda x reader roommates fic, my love! so sorry for the wait, but thank you for your sweet words and your patience <3 @subtlebucky

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

warnings: none really? maybe a curse. references to drinking, partying. jealous! reader. apologies to anyone named jillian, beck, or yasmine. sharing a bed, but not in THAT way. 

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, you smell coffee already brewing. You stretch leisurely as you pad into the main part of your shared apartment, faux-flirtatious smile already gracing your lips.

“Smells good, baby!” You call. The laughter dissipates from your body as you pause in the kitchen doorway. Wanda is indeed sipping coffee in the kitchen, but is also standing between the legs of a tall, rather buff girl you’ve never seen before who’s perched comfortably on your island. “Oh.”

"Jill, this is my roommate, Y/N," Wanda says, perfectly at ease. You wonder if your eye really does twitch at the sight of Wanda's hand on Jill's thigh, but you pray it's just your imagination.

“Hi, uh, I didn’t - we’re not - hi.” Your face burns as you duck past them, reaching up into the cabinet for your mug before realizing it’s missing. You whirl around, about to ask Wanda, when you see it. And Wanda must realize it the same time you do, because she gives you this tight smile and wide eyes. Jill sips idly from your favorite cup, the one with the funny handle and your initial in rainbow gradient. Pietro, Wanda’s brother, had gifted it to you a few Christmas’s back - you know he’d have stopped Jillian from using it. Instead, you fill the most boring mug you and Wanda own - black, with a white outline of Sokovia in a red heart - and send your roommate a sour look. “I’ll just...”

You jerk your head towards the bedrooms, and stalk off. Maybe out of embarrassment, but mostly out of stubbornness, you pretend not to hear Wanda apologizing and making excuses on your behalf as you leave.

.......

Two weeks later, just when things are returning to normal, it happens again.

Well, more or less. It’s significantly darker out now, and this time you’re putting leftover Chinese food in the fridge when the door bursts open. Wanda all but falls into your apartment, a sharp-nosed girl with a deep violet buzzcut hot on her heels. Space Army Cadet and your best friend are hand in hand, the latter barely tossing you a glance as she drags her guest down the hall. And yeah, you’ve seen Wanda bring people home before - even brought a handful of people home yourself. Hell, one of you two’s closest friends was an ex of hers; oddball physics major, Vis, had been Wanda’s lover for the notable first three years of college.

 Lately, though, you’d noticed this...pit in your stomach, carved a little deeper with each new bedmate. Every time you shook it off - it wasn’t any of your business what Wanda did in her free time. Was it because they were women? You catch yourself wondering, but no - you’d never had an issue with that, why would you start now? Shutting the fridge, you shuffle back to your room, turning your TV up to drown out anything from Wanda’s room next door.

The next morning, the eccentric friend is nowhere to be found, but you did find there was a severe lack of alcohol in your coffee as Wanda cheerily filled you in. Buzzcut’s name was Yasmine, she was in Wanda’s European lit. course, and they’d gone out for drinks to celebrate Yasmine nearing the acquirement of her masters. You stare into your cup and hum at all the appropriate points, choosing not to point out that it was only November and nowhere near graduating season. Maybe Yasmine was on the fast track - Wanda always did like the smart ones. 

You become so absorbed in thought you don’t notice at first that your housemate has stopped chittering away. When you look up, it’s to a pouty frown. You shift in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “What?”

“Are you...okay?” Wanda’s frown deepens, brows furrowed as she brushes a stray lock of auburn from her face and folds her arms over her chest. “We...You’ve been a little distant lately, I guess.” 

“I’m fine,” You say breezily, rising to your feet to dump the dregs of your coffee in the sink. Some irritating heartstring twangs at your tone - you hate brushing Wanda off, but what are you supposed to say? Hey, can you stop bringing girls home? I think I’ve caught homophobia. You repress a shudder at the mere thought as you move to sweep past her and get ready for your first class, but a small hand curls around your bicep.

“Just...don’t be a stranger, okay, kedvesem?” Darling. Swallowing the lump in your throat, feeling curiously parched, you can only nod. Wanda lets go, but you can feel her fingerprints burning like a brand even when you’re lying in bed that night.

.....

The holidays go off more or less without a hitch; there’s a very scary hiccup shortly before Christmas when you come home to find Wanda curled into Vision’s side on the couch, the pair of them sharing a blanket. But Wanda looks...as if she’s been crying? Love Actually is playing, Wanda’s go to Christmas comfort movie, and Vision is texting someone called ‘Peter M.’ with an alarming number of heart emojis, so you continue onward. 

Your subconscious must be looking out for you otherwise, because it’s not until New Year’s that you see Wanda with a mystery lover. Actually, you don’t see much of Wanda at all outside of Christmas, and even when you do, it’s always just the two of you at home. Of course, because of this, she insists on dragging you out for a New Year’s party. When her twin, Pietro, gangs up on you via Facetime, you give up arguing and steal a shimmery black slip from Wanda’s closet before flipping them the bird. 

Pietro arrives around 10 to pick the pair of you up, obnoxiously laying on the horn outside of your apartment building. Wanda trips several times as she tries to shove on her other heel and put lipstick on at the same time. Making it out the door is a whole other ordeal - after a short spat about Wanda needing a jacket, an awkward moment when the elevator doors open on some neighbors practicing for midnight, and finding Pietro just about to buzz in to get you, you and Wanda are sliding into the backseat of Pietro’s obnoxiously cramped sports car.

“Ladies, your prince, or princess, awaits!” Pietro announces grandly as you pull up to a shabby loft just a few blocks away. You can hear the music from the street, sighing inwardly as you force yourself to get out of the car. Wanda smooths out her flowy black pants - you keep your eyes trained politely above her shoulders to ignore the fitted, maroon sequined top with the plunging V-neck she’s paired with them. 

“I’m actually meeting someone here,” She says casually to her brother as the three of you make your way in. Pietro waves her off with well-wishes, but throws you a questioning glance. All he gets however is a shrug in reply, this is certainly news to you. He accompanies you to the makeshift bar where you fill a cup with copious amounts of liquor. It usually wasn’t your vice, but the strobe lights alone could be cause to drink. You made a mental note to ask whose idea this party even was in the first place. when you turn around, though, Pietro, too, has slipped off into the crowd.

So you do what one is supposed to do at sweaty, too-loud functions such as this one - push yourself from your comfort zone, get comfortably tipsy while you wedge yourself into the mass of bodies and move with strangers. As mentioned, liquor and strangers have never been favorite pastimes of yours, so once you finish off your second drink (maybe third - you deserved it), you set out searching for Wanda. Her glittery form is tucked into a corner with a small group you don’t recognize, but you definitely note that she’s in the lap of a tall, dark, and handsome type. She spots you before you can get to her, making excited grabby hands as you get closer. 

“Y/N!” The bubbly young woman squeals over the music. She leans forward to be heard better, and you gulp. “This is Beck! And Jade, and Marcie, and you remember Yasmine!” 

You offer only a wave and tight smiles as you, too, lean in further. “I’m gonna get an Uber!”

“What?” Wanda pouts dramatically, Beck snaking an arm around her waist to steady her as she jolts back in disappointment. “It’s not even midnight yet!”

“No, I know, I’m just not really feeling it, I guess!” Yasmine leads over to whisper something to Jade; it’s the furthest thing from your mind as Wanda reaches out to squeeze your hands understandingly. 

“I’ll see you later! Kisses!” You repeat the word weakly before shoving once more through the mass. The sidewalk and cool bite of the outdoors is a welcome respite - your driver doesn’t speak all the way to your apartment, and you give them 5 stars for it. After a cold, quick shower, you curl up in your fuzziest bathrobe with a cup of coffee and flick through Netflix. You know when midnight rolls around when the neighbors upstairs, hosting a party of their own, cheer and shout to each other. It can’t be 20 minutes later that your door is met with a tentative knock.

On the other side is Vision in the most disarray you’ve seen him in - he’s in pajamas, for Pete’s sake, hair and glasses askew over a chunky knit sweater. He’s supporting an equally-bleary but much more drunk Wanda, and passes her to you with a wrinkled nose.

“Y/N!” She crows, dissolving into giggles as you shushed her. “I wondered where you went.” 

“I told you I was coming home, bubs,” You mutter, hugging her back briefly before you notice Vision is still standing in your entryway. “Hey, how about you go get changed, and then I’ll make you some eggs?”

Wanda agrees, talking animatedly even as she walks away. You look back at Vision, smiling wearily. “Thanks for bringing her home safe, Vis. Did you want a cup of coffee, or...?”

“No, thank you,” Vision quips, polite as ever as he tugs his sweater down over his hands. He jerks his dimpled chin the direction Wanda had disappeared in. “Take care of her, please.”

“Of course,” You reply, instantly, brows furrowing. He nods briskly before turning to leave. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. Goodnight.” He’s almost to the elevators when you call a ‘Happy New Year’ after him, and that earns you a smile. “Happy New Year to you as well, Y/N.”

Back inside, you find Wanda spread eagle on her bed in mismatched socks, an old college hoodie, and the same underwear you’re pretty sure she wore to go out tonight. You poke her heel and she makes a frankly unhuman gurgle into the duvet. “How much did you have?”

“Nah a lah,” Is her muffled reply. “We’on dwink anymo’.” 

You realize she’s right, though you figured she was at least taking some of those dates to bars. Maybe not, though - Wanda was always a romantic. You push the mere though away and tug at the arm closest to you. “Yeah, I know. You’ll feel better if you eat something, though.” 

Her protesting grunts are less effective than when she kicks out blindly, narrowly avoiding your hip, and you huff. “Fine, I’ll bring the food to you.”  You make to leave, but she’s captured your wrist now. Wanda turns her head to make powerful puppy eyes at you. “Stay. Sleepy.” 

“I...yeah. Okay.” You were still a little tipsy in your own right - neither of you were college kids anymore, after all. Wanda’s smile was blinding as the pair of you made your way under her numerous layers of blankets. When she turned the lamp off, you wondered if she could hear your heart thundering in the dark.

“Y/N?” She whispers, just when you think she’s fallen asleep. 

“Yes, Wanda?” 

“I love you.”

You hum in acknowledgment, brushing it off as dreaming.

--------

Midday, you’re roused by someone laying across your stomach and shaking you awake. It’s Wanda, long lashes fluttering prettily as she rests her chin on folded elbows. You scrub sleep from your eyes as you croak, “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, Y/N.” She says your name with purpose - sort of always has, you realize. You’re running over last night in your head, and like a mind reader, Wanda answers your every question. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Still love you.” Wanda murmurs. You meet her gaze - completely clear, if not a little glazed over with absolute adoration. She pushes up a little, lips hovering over yours. They brush just barely when you speak, sparking like live wires. 

“I love you, too,” You breathe, and finally, finally, she kisses you. 

Things make so, so much more sense then.