#marina fans will be blamed

[metabolizemotions]

They only fetishize queer people. Especially our pain. We are not real, entire human beings to them. The celebrate the straight couples - their relationship, intimacy n all; fetishize the bodies of queer men; n fetishize the idea of queer women.

The extent to which they tolerate our sexuality is the short snippets in promo clips. They only want to exploit our online engagement. Ironically our viewership might be bringing in the ad buyers who r trying to erase us.

They try to erase the specificity of the "queer" part, but only use the pain, the convenient stereotypes, the virtue-signaling part to gain brownie points n for good drama. They joke about cultural appropriation n did exactly that during the pride episode with the straight couple's proposal. Same-sex marriage. What are you talking about? It's about queer hate n straight allyship.

They capitalize on the "women" part, to further fetishize our biology. So if it's 2 women in a relationship - it's double the drama about making babies, bad genes, n jokes about hormones n our body parts. But it's 2 women, how can they possibly manage w/o "big, strong, sensitive", straight men with good genes to contribute n overflowing empathy to deal with them being emotional n hormonal?

It's 5b, it's pride, it's the burning man all over again. First they elevate Jack, now Beckett. Pride was about cheating queer men n high queer woman. An intimate scene of Marina must be minimized n hidden among the others' or edited to death in a montage. It's as scary as a man burning to death.

The fact that they haven't even shared a proper kiss this season through any joyful or emotional moment... They just come up with more ways to obscure the kiss, if any. Bad lighting, bad angles n bad editing are prerequisites. They r also written into the script.

Of course they make an important life decision in the NICU, n it's completely inappropriate for a married w|w to share a quick kiss - which we saw via the back of their heads. Unlike a gay man having sex with an ex at the funeral of the ex's dad - while cheating on his partner - twice. Perfectly lit with no obstructions of course.

Even in their ugly kitchen they're assigned, with a perfectly good scene setup, nope. Too brightly lit for queer woman - save it for a long morning kiss b/w gay men in their nice kitchen.

Emotional scene about Carina's fertility issues and reciprocal IVF - okay a kiss allowed grudgingly - but just 0.5 sec. Their lips touched. You get the idea. Why are you fans so demanding? Time is reserved for the 101th proposal of the straight couple n their extended kisses. A proper Marina love scene? You perverts. More explicit sex scenes b/w straight couples are needed.

I don't want to rehash about Jack. I've said plenty about Beckett. Just that men's mistakes are dismissed and minimized. It is not enough to show every painful step of Maya apologizing and making amends. Maya and Carina must also be used to make the audience sympathize with Jack and Beckett. It is a deliberate yet thoughtless choice to use Carina's SA trauma to sympathize with Jack. Just as it is to use Maya's family trauma to sympathize with Beckett. Esp the context of the shot. It is esp violating. They might as well just get Jack to show up for this. They never really got it, did they?

However one chooses to justify these choices, it's not only unnec but wrong to include the men. Esp not Beckett - the man who bullied her for months till her breakdown. Even if he never apologized and they insist on using Maya's pain to make him look good in his redemption arc, idc at this point, but this is just not the time.

If it must be a man, get Travis. Make it a conversation b/w queer people, about queer hate, about their families. Travis sympathizing with Maya, about a journey he wouldn't know about. Way better than jokes on hormones with the guys. A cheap way to get a laugh at an arduous process. I thought we left 5b n mocking queer women behind.

It could have been one beautiful scene with Andy and Vic. They haven't had a proper one since s1 & 2. They would have understood about Mason, if not for their long friendship, there's 703. It could have been about the pain women go thru - Andy and Vic about their abortions or Maya about experiencing what Carina underwent... The show really isn't big on female camaraderie.

But it should really be Carina. Among all the scenes of Carina in the station bathroom - which have been a lot - this is probably the most appropriate if they must set it there. Definitely more so that her own insemination, which was ridiculous.

These are moments that they should only share with each other, privately n intimately. These precious moments that are dwindling - few n short to begin with. It's not irl, it's one scene in an ensemble show. They sure could have romanticized this. It doesn't even have to be half as dramatic as a regular scene of their golden couple. D & S will create magic.

Esp in this episode, there's so much to unpack. With everything they've been thru on their own, the ending could have been about them at home, checking in n sharing their day. Talking about the lawsuit, the hate on queers, their brothers, the boundaries they had to set with their families... Doing the trigger shot together - esp after their emotional scene in 705 n to cap off the morning scene. A perfect setup for their emotional n physical intimacy.

But of course it didn't happen. Other important moments in their lives about their new home n new baby were also short parts of wordless montages. They are even less important than scenes of the others having drinks n sex.

Queer women just don't matter.

[vivwritesfics]

(She's) Off The Track

Y/N is pregnant, not allowed to race, and she's pissed about it

When the video went up on everybody's social media, the fans panicked. It was similar, eerily so, to Sebastian Vettel's retirement announcement.

But she couldn't be retiring, could she? She was only in her mid twenties and hungry for a win. There was no way she was retiring already.

She sat there in the video, a white wall behind her, and stared. For a full two and a half seconds she said nothing, but it felt so much longer. Anxious fans waited chewing on their nails as they waited to see what was going on.

To Y/N, the person in the video, it felt like she was doing one of those youtuber apology videos. Well, this was a severe and continuous lapse in her judgement, but it had ended in something wonderful.

"It's with regret that I sit here before you all to tell you that I will not be partaking in the rest of the Formula One season," she said and breathed out, like a massive weight had been lifted from her chest. "In my place Liam Lawson will be driving in the second seat of the AlphaTauri."

"We thank you all for your continuous support and look forward to seeing all of you when I return to the grid next year."

She never said why, never let the fans know why she was going to be absent from the track. The fans still saw her everywhere, though. In the paddock, cheering on her replacement, or in the background of her boyfriends streams.

"This is your fault," she said as she sat on the beanbag behind Lando, placing malteasers into her mouth. "If it weren't for you, I would still be racing."

Although she sat it, it wasn't serious. It wasn't his fault at all. Actually, she didn't want to blame this on anybody; it was a welcomed surprise.

It had been a good sixteen weeks since she last sat in a Formula One car. There one race that Y/N wasn't at, leaving all the fans speculating where she could be. And then there was a two week gap between the races.

The next race she attended, something was clearly different. Lando held her hand, staying close to her while Martin Brundle interviewed her. He walked her to the AlphaTauri garage, something he didn't normally do, and didn't leave until she was being safely escorted by Daniel Ricciardo.

But the most noticeable difference was the baby bump was she sporting.

SHE'S PREGNANT!! said everybody online. It was maybe the best kept secret of the paddock.

Even though the secret was out, Y/N and Lando still didn't address it. If any interviewer tried to ask about the pregnancy, Lando would walk her away or place himself between her and the interviewer, protective fiancé mode engaged.

When the last grand prix she was allowed to attend before she had to stop flying rolled around, Y/N spent more time than usual in front of the car that should have been hers. Her hand rested on her stomach as she looked at the number 40 car. It should have been number 69, her driver number.

"Next year," she said through a sigh as Liam approached. He offered her a smile, the kind that said he sympathised with her.

Towards the end of the season she had to stop attending. There were only two races left and Lando was predicted to be on the podium for all of them.

And he was on the podium. She was forced to watch it from their television at home. She celebrated with a glass of water and a nap.

Y/N went into labour at the start of winter break. It was lucky, actually, that Lando was home and able to rush her to the hospital. He held her hand through it all and, soon, their baby boy was crying in his arms.

Ten months went by. Y/N and Lando spent the entirety of the winter break as a family, caring for their son, introducing him to the family (the grid family and their actual families) and celebrating firsts with him. When they brought him home, when he first slept in his crib, his first trip in the car, first trip in the zoo, taking him around the marina.

Lando took pictures of it all. His jpg account was full of these pictures, as long as they didn't show their sons face.

His first introduction to the Formula one world came when he was just ten months old, at the Brazilian Grand Prix. Before Y/N and Lando left their hotel, it had been a big debate over whether he was going to be wearing a McLaren onesie or an AlphaTauri onesie (Lando had won and they walked him around in a bright orange onesie).

The grid loved meeting Emmet "Chuck" Norris (Daniel thought he was really funny with that one). Emmets favourite people were Danny and Max, who had worked together to teach him to respond to his name of Chuck.

He sat in his parents cars and that was when Y/N and Lando knew, he was going to be a racer.

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season one

Chapter Fourteen - Scandals in abundance

♡♡♡

When you sat down for breakfast, you expected a peaceful morning between you and your mother. However, the knock at the door was urgent, and quickly did the butler come rushing in with the latest Whistledown column. He handed it to your mother instantly.

You sat there and watched many expressions cross her face, wondering what on earth had been written to have her react in such a frenzy.

Only when she was done reading, and only then were you given the paper to read. You took it from your butler and looked st the first column.

The gasp you let out was louder than you anticipated. Your eyes rose to meet your mother's.

"I must go."

She simply nods and calls for the carriage to be prepared for you. You head upstairs to get yourself ready immediately.

The Bridgertons must be beside themselves.

Marina Thompson is pregnant and has been since she arrived in Mayfair. Poor Colin had no idea. He couldn't possibly have. You were certain of it.

You had no idea that just the night before, he had devised a plan to run away with Marina to marry her in Scotland. Not that he could now, surely.

The carriage ride to the Bridgerton house felt like a long journey, though you were certain that had to be because you were anxious to get there. When the carriage finally did stop, you didn't even wait for the footman. You opened the door, startled the poor man, and hurried out. He watched you rush up to the front door and knock rather urgently.

The butler answered the door and called your name into the house. You entered and found your way into the drawing room. Violet was fanning herself on one of the sofas, Colin was nowhere to be seen. You made your way over to Lady Bridgerton and held up the glass of water that was sitting on the table to her. She took it and sipped it.

Benedict and Eloise were also present in the room, neither of them said a word.

"Did he know?" You had to ask.

Benedict and Eloise both shook their heads at you.

"Where is he?"

"In his room," Eloise answers rather solemnly.

Violet waved her fan a little more quickly. It would appear that one could not be a Bridgerton without coming close to a scandal. Lady Whistledown sees and hears all.

You feel for poor Colin. Apparently, he believed himself in love with the woman. Though Anthony took the blame for that. Colin was still young.

"Eloise, dear, we must get ready for the modiste." Violet closes her fan and stands from beside you.

Eloise groans.

"Now, dear."

You watch in silence as Eloise stands and goes with her mother. Before Violet exits the room, she turns to you. "It was nice of you to come by, my dear."

You smile at her and watch her go. Once she's out of the room, you turn to Benedict. "Tell me everything."

Benedict leans forward and tells you all he knows. From Marina's arrival to the pregnancy, she had kept secret. The man she was under love with and his absence. It had all been in Whistledown. You didn't learn anything particularly new other than that Marina had intended to keep her condition quiet and then tell Colin she was pregnant after they were married.

Portia Featherington knew, of course. It's why she was so keen to marry Marina off.

"Gosh."

"Yes, I know."

"How is Colin?" You ask. "Truly."

"Not great, I admit. He hasn't spoken a word to us since the paper arrived this morning. He has kept much to himself."

"Do you think he will speak to me?"

"I do not know." Benedict says softly. "Do you wish to try?"

You shrug lightly. "No harm in attempting."

Benedict leads the way to Colin's door, and you knock gently on the hard wood. You hear no response, but with one nod from Benedict, you talk.

"Colin? I'm sorry to hear of what happened. I hope you are well."

Nothing.

You sigh. "Know that you may call on me for anything."

You turn and face Benedict. You have no idea what else to say. What does one say in such a situation?

Benedict leads you back to the drawing room.

"I believe there is to be a family meeting. Daphne is coming down too."

"Daphne? Goodness. Word reached her door, too?" You sigh.

"She is family."

"I know. I envy that."

"Envy?" He looks at you curiously. "Envy what?"

"That bond you have with your family." You sit down again, not sure what else to do with yourself.

"You do not have that bond with your mother?" He asks, sitting opposite you.

"Having a bond with your mother is one thing, but you Bridgertons are a family. You have siblings. Anthony, who looks out for all of you, though admittedly, not always in the best of ways. Daphne, who adores you all so dearly she will make such a trip just to be here for her brother. I have no sibling. No father. Just mother. When something happens in my family, we only have each other."

Benedict fights the urge to reach out for your hand.

"I shouldn't complain. I am lucky to have what I do, and I am grateful. I just wish I had siblings to look after and rely on. I hope I have several children one day who can experience that."

Benedict listens to you talk about your hyperthetical future again. Every time you talk about it he feels a strange twinge begin to turn in his chest.

"I'm sure that will be a reality one day."

You smile wistfully.

"I shall be good to see Daphne again. I have missed her. Have you not?" You ask.

"Of course. She is my most sensible sister." He grins.

You laugh. "I have to say the most sensible of the lot."

Benedict laughs, too.

It feels good to laugh.

♡♡♡

Daphne doesn't arrive until the evening. You have long since left the Bridgerton house by then. Benedict had seen you out, and you spent the rest of the day at home.

A family meeting was just that, for family.

You don't see the Bridgerton family for a couple of days. As you understand it, Colin and Marina meet, chaperoned by Daphne, to talk. It wasn't the most cheerful conversations, you hear.

The queen's luncheon was the first time you saw the Bridgerton lot after a few days of absence. Daphne had been the one to reach out to you after securing an invite. You accepted, of course.

You stood in the gardens and awaited their arrival. All eyes were certainly on them upon their entering the garden.

Benedict caught your gaze and offered a small flicker of a smile. You smiled back. He looked relieved to see you. Perhaps all this drama surrounding his family was a bit much over the last few days.

You wanted to approach them, but your mother kept a firm hold on your arm. You sip your drink quietly, eyes drifting away from the family you so wished to greet.

As people approach the Bridgertons and the Bassetts to greet them, Benedict finds himself greeted by Granville.

"I have missed you in the studio of late. You must join me for another drawing lesson," Henry says to Benedict. "As I said, improvement is all a matter of practice."

Benedict glances over in the direction you're standing in. His mind briefly recalls the day he let you see into his sketchbook. Your words rang clear in his head.

"At least, that is the excuse he gives for coming home with paint in all kinds of peculiar places," Mrs Granville says with a chuckle.

Benedict giggles awkwardly and then spots someone just beyond the garden talking to Cressida Cowper of all people.

"Ah! Were you able to meet my friend Wetherby at my party? Come, I shall introduce you."

"No, thank you." Benedict says quickly. "I- I see my mother requires my presence. Good day!" Benedict leaves quickly.

Truth be told, he hadn't visited the studio since you asked him where he went off to on his evenings. He couldn't bring himself to go back.

That, and you complimented his art so wonderfully. He often heard your kind words in his mind as he sketched these days.

He was rather starting to like his work.

The Featheringtons arriving had all eyes on them. No one whispered a word about Colin. However, that did not mean they wouldn't talk about the family that had hosted the girl mentioned in the gossip column. If anything, people defend Colin.

Eloise rescues Penelope from the stares her family are retrieving.

Portia tried to talk to Violet. It was rather awkward to watch. You turned your eyes from them and tried to speak to your mother, but even she was watching with keen eyes.

The Featheringtons are asked to leave once Violet walks away without saying a word.

You watch Penelope follow her family out.

The next to walk off is Daphne, and you know not why. You hadn't even had the chance to talk to her.

Something seemed to be upsetting her too.

Your heart ached to see the people around you suffering. It seems it doesn't simply rain. It pours.

Managing to free yourself from your mother, you stroll along the outer hedges of the party. Benedict manages to intercept you there, smiling softly at you.

"Hello."

"Hello." You repeat softly.

"It's been a bus few days."

"Yes. I imagine."

Benedict stands there and stares at you for a moment. He's not sure what it is he wants to say. That is, if there is anything at all he wants to say. All he knew was that he wanted to see you.

"You look sad," he says.

"Sad? I'm not sad."

"No?"

"No."

Silence falls between you both. He scans your face quietly. You're avosiign his gaze, and he can see the way you lightly pluck at your gloves. Rather pretty gloves, he might add. Did you always wear such pretty gloves, or did you pick these out, especially for this occasion.

Benedict frowns. Why did he care so much about your gloves?

"What is the matter?" He asks softly.

"I can't help seeing the sadness in others around me. Colin. Daphne. Penelope. Your mother."

Benedict remains silent.

"Everyone seems to be hurting in one way or another, and I either do not know why, or do and cannot do a thing. Can I confide in you about something? Without judgement and disdain against me?"

Benedict gives you the slightest nod.

"I hate society."

You see the way his brows raise. Yet you see no judgement in his eyes.

"I hate the way it judges, discriminates, gossips, and picks and chooses. I hate the way it functions." You speak so passionately, from the heart. "Society turns its back on someone the moment they step out of line or even slightly bend the rules. One wrong move or word and its all over."

Benedict is intrigued by your views. So many thoughts must be occupying your mind, and he's only heard a fraction. It's in this moment he realises he doesn't know you. The real you, that is. He just knows a fraction of who you are.

There's a goofy crooked smile on his face.

"What?" You ask, looking at him.

"What?"

"You think I'm silly, don't you?"

"I never said that," he defends himself.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He chuckles.

"That!" You say, trying not to raise your voice too much. You weren't fond of the idea of drawing attention to you both.

Benedict merely laughs, and you groan softly. Now you're getting agitated, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't somewhat enjoying that.

"I think you're fascinating."

You state at him blankly. "Huh?"

Benedict chuckles again, and you quickly jab him in the arm without anyone noticing.

"Ow!"

"Shut up," you hiss at him.

"What? What did I say?"

"Nothing! Forget it. You're infuriating me." You sigh.

Benedict tries to hold back his giggles.

At least someone can smile despite the rain clouds over everyone else's heads.

You crack a smile and then giggle. Benedict laughs, too. You both must look so silly giggling in the hedges.

"Oh, Benedict, you do make every miserable thing seem more positive." You smile at him.

"How so?"

"Just by being you."

Benedict swears he could fly from the amount of joy you have just bestowed in him. Never has anyone said anything more heartwarming to him than that.

As you travel home in the carriage with your mother after the luncheon, you cannot stop yourself from smiling. You have been cheerful from the moment you left.

"Whatever has you grinning, dearest?" Your mother asks you as you gaze out the window.

You keep your eyes trained on the passing scenery, your lips ever grinning.

"Nothing, mother. Nothing at all."

♡♡♡

@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333

@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173

@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner

@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -

@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle

@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @crazymar15

@cosmixstar - @bree3parchen - @berrnuu - @charmainemaclendon - @pinkpantheris - @krismdavis

@biancamde - @ifgslsofbsodbf - @kniselle

[shewhotellsstories]

I'm so glad someone said it. Between the writing and the racist fandom, I can't blame the Black actors for not wanting to stick around long.

"Bridgerton seems to reserve its true horrors for its Black characters in a similar way, with even the cast working to bring this show to life suffering for it. With every new season that is released of the Netflix phenomenon, a new wave of toxicity is unleashed on social media, varying from racist TikToks with thousands of likes disparaging how “ugly” Black characters like John Stirling supposedly are, or tweets harassing any actor of colour who they deem to be a “bad character” on the show as fans did with actress Ruby Barker (Marina Thompson).

The fun of a show like Bridgerton lies in its romantic escapism; we want to watch pretty people fall in love and court scandal in frothy gowns. We want the angst and the drama we were promised, but at every turn Black and brown fans of the show are reminded that they are simply guests in the Bridgerton universe."

[devilfic]

More matt content?

I was thinking, Matt’s reaction towards reader wearing something real cute (like a beautiful red dress) or anything idk-

My mind is plastered with this man, god-

pairing: matt murdock x gn!reader. cw: fluff, established relationship, suggestive content. words: 334.

Matt pinches fabric—satin, he’s certain, silk satin—unable to hide the smile creeping up on him. He can feel where the sleeve ends and your skin begins, his fingers sneaking along the hem to paint the picture, “Did I buy this?”

You laugh and the fabric of your sleeve slips from between his fingers, “Yeah. You like it?”

It helps that you trust him, even more that you’ve been lovers for months, because when his hand passes over your chest to feel for the neckline, his ears burn. His fingers travel over the peaks and valleys and wonder of what is left in their wake. Telling by the hitch in your breath, you must feel the same.

“What color is it?”

“Crimson.”

“So we’ll match.” Matt is stroking down your front now, feeling for the length.

“Of course. What kind of partner would I be if I let you embarrass yourself in public like that?”

His head tilts to the side. He laughs once, wetting his lips to spite the urge to kiss your arrogant mouth, “Oh, sure. If anyone’s to blame for the poor color coordination, it’s me.” He feels you shrug as his hand travels back up to settle on the back of your neck. He takes the opportunity to pull you in for a kiss anyway, “I love it. You’re stunning.”

"You're not so bad yourself, Murdock," you trace his chin with your thumb, "glad you like it, though. You weren’t a fan of that velvet number from our last date night.”

“Yeah, no, this is much better… although,” his fingers slip around your waist and feel up your back, pausing with his hand at the middle of your spine, “I don’t imagine you’ll be wearing it long.”

“No ripping,” you nip his nose and his nostrils flare at a distant, heated memory, “replacing this will be expensive.“

Being cheeky, Matt tugs you into him without warning and you grab at his lapel to steady yourself, “What can I rip?”

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @marina-and-the-memes

[pensbridge]

I think the view that the Bridgerton women have to be some evil witches and to make a point on your personal stance, you must pit their faults against each other, acting like one is an angel and the other has manipulative motives is just WRONG on so many levels.

Marina tried to trap a man and she said some horrible offensive things to Penelope, who did nothing wrong at that point.

Marina was an alone pregnant woman, driven to desperate measures in an attempt to protect herself, AND she was an 18 year old who thought that she was mature and used her words against her cousin who she felt couldn't understand in her times of stress.

Eloise sticks her nose into other people's business and she was also getting herself into trouble seeing the worker at the print shop.

Eloise is characterized as headstrong, so thinks she knows best. She is 19 and teenagers think they can do, say, and know everything more than anyone else.

Penelope is manipulative. She's just bitter and she could have handled the situation better. Why didn't she?

Penelope is a 19 year old, who didn't know who to turn to for help (at 17), so tried to take matters into her own hands. She's someone who we know has difficulty speaking up so it makes sense her inability to do so as she tried to tell Colin.

Edwina is so dumb. How could she not see what was right in front of her face? She's wrong for going forward with Anthony when she did not know anything that was happening between them. Unknowing, she's keeping them apart; I hate her!

Blame the writers, blame the producers; I don't know. This one is crazy to me how someone who did nothing wrong gets blame as if this plot called for her to be some conniving mastermind. guess 2 South Asian women of color can't be built up. Also she is 18!

See a pattern? These are teenagers! They are naive and in belief that that know more! Everyone is this universe is morally wrong at times. Everyone does things based on their personal beliefs at the time and individual motivations. Everyone has been selfish. That's what makes them humanly written.

Also as a note, the way female characters are written on this show seems to be based on an interest in complicated female relationships and how they can break apart but come back together, while having no contrary feelings to love toward one another.

-Edwina and Kate

-Eloise and Penelope

-Penelope and Marina

(I see it as there can be fights; there can be jealousy; there can be betrayals, but these in-universe characters would not hate the other the way some fans feel angry for them).

[capsicle-evans]

The Make Believe Ms Evans

Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: A PR marriage between Y/N and Chris Evans has skyrocketed their careers but their sex lives has never been this low. Up until now.

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, ass play, swearing.

Part 1

“Stay still” Marina, my make up artist warns me as she applies my eyeliner. “Can’t fuck this up now”

“Claire would probably murder you” I grin as I feel the weight of Marina’s hand on my cheekbone. “Did you know that you make funny faces when you are doing my make up?”

“It’s my concentration face” She winks at me before setting the pen on the table. “There, all done”

“Just in time” I whisper as Claire enters the bathroom, a stern look on her face.

“Y/N, can you join us in the living room, please?” Claire, my publicist, asks me.

“Depends” I twist my mouth to the side. “Am I getting lectured?”

“Depends” She gives me the same look I just gave her. “Are you going to comply?”

“Ugh, fine I’ll join you” I roll my eyes, standing up from my makeup chair. “You know, you need to stop being so grumpy all the time. It’s not good for your health”

“Yeah well that’s what working for you gets me” She turns around, guiding me towards the living area of the suite.

I grab the train of my dress before following her steps, making sure not to step over the hem. As soon as I enter the space, I notice Chris standing in front of the mirror, his eyes fixated on his tie, completely oblivious of my presence. I walk pass him, towards the chair next to the window, sitting down gracefully just to make sure my dress remains intact.

“I’m here” Polly appears from the adjacent room, a lot of papers in her hand and her phone between her ear and her shoulder. “Gotta go, call you later”

I take a couple of seconds to look at Chris, his black suit and black shirt hugging his entire frame. I turn my eyes to Polly before Chris can look back. “What’s going on?”

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Polly asks as she places her phone down over the coffee table. “And why is this the fifth call I receive today about you two?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” I pout, reaching for a chocolate truffle but setting it down after thinking of the mess I might make of my dress.

“Well, enews is asking if you guys are getting a divorce, people magazine is asking me who cheated” Claire snarks back at me.

“Well, we know the answer to that one” I smile sarcastically.

“Seriously, Y/N? You’re still on that shit?” Chris rolls his eyes, running his hand through his hair.

“What? She asked and it’s not like I actually care” I tell him before turning back to Claire and Polly. “But for real, what’s up with the questions? We haven’t done anything”

“Yeah, that’s the problem, you two don’t look at each other or even talk to each other during events and people are starting to notice it” Polly says as she takes a seat across from me. “Guys, we know this wasn’t a love match but for fuck’s sake, you guys are actors, try to pretend at least”

Chris and I got married about 4 months ago after a lot of campaigning on Polly and Claire’s part. Every since Chris and I did a movie together two years ago, our fame skyrocketed and our teams thought that it would be a great idea if we dated. Or at least we pretended to. But in reality, we hated each other but apparently that’s what our movie needed since it was an enemys to lovers story. Fans went batshit crazy after a picture of Chris leaving my apartment at 3 am went viral. Truth was, he was there to apologize after a massive fallout we had during shooting. So we pretended to date and our relationship became like crack for the fans. It only took a couple of months before they were selling us the idea of marriage and only an idiot would deny the good press that our relationship brought to our careers, so we agreed.

“She basically chops my hand off as soon as I even try to step close to her” Chris waves his hand at me. “Take it up with her”

“Nice, put the blame on me” I chuckle. “Fucking prick”

“See, this has to stop if you guys don’t want to end up doing lifetime movies for the rest of your lives” Claire glares at us accusingly.

“If I’ll put me out of this misery” I exhale loudly but soon stop when Claire gives me a stern look. “Kidding”

“Guys, please” Polly sighs. “We know this situation is not ideal but I need you guys to cooperate”

“Fine” I shrug. “We’ll be more lovey doveys with each other”

“Chris?” Polly looks up at him with pleading eyes.

“It’s not like I have a choice” Chris turns to me. “No offense”

“I’d have to care in order for it to offend me” I snark back before turning to Claire. “Sorry, from now on I’ll be a good wifey”

“God help us all” Polly looks up at the ceiling as if God can give her any guidance.

***

The limo pulls up right at the edge of the red carpet, flashes and shouts already making me feel anxious. Chris opens up the door from his side and steps out, waving immediately at the people who have turned their attention to our car. He turns to give me a hand, his free hand reaching for the train of my dress.

“Thank you” I whisper as he bends down to spread the train nicely so it can be appreciated in its full glory.

“That’s what lovey dovey husbands do” Chris grins as he places a hand just above my butt cheek. “Try not to chop off my hand”

“Try not to tempt me” I say with a tight smile in my lips.

Chris guides me towards the red carpet, our names being shouted from every angle. With his left hand still on my back, he pulls to his side to pose for some pictures. He then turns to me, leaning in to whisper something in my ear. “Pretend I just said something funny”

“That’s hard since I don’t have a point of reference” I pretend to giggle as Chris hand pinches my skin. “Jerk”

“See, that’s why we make a lovely couple” He grins down at me, his lips pressed against my temple. “We are both assholes”

“Chris, Y/N” A pap calls our attention “look over here”

We keep posing for a couple of minutes, every once in a while looking at each other and giving a fake smile. After a while, Polly and Claire guide us to the inside of the theater where Chris’ movie is premiering. It’s about a war veteran who comes after being presumed dead. It was a heavy movie and it took a big toll on Chris but it all payed off because people where even mentioning his name along the word “oscar”.

Half way through the movie, after crying a bit over a really hard scene, an almost naked Chris came on the screen, and there was a bunch of gasps heard around the room. Chris looks good, no one could deny it, but this scene in particular really made it difficult for me to not gape at him. It was really intimate and sexy, and it focused on him going down on his estranged wife.

My hands went to the armrests, gripping a bit as Chris’ mouth hid between his costars legs. Every since we started the agreement, there was no one else. At least on my part. Mostly to avoid gossip. That meant that my sex life was basically non existent, unless anyone counted the vibrator in my bedside table.

A couple of eyes turned to my direction, hoping to see a reaction from me as I watch my husband be so intimate with another woman. I fidget a little in my seat, a warm feeling setting over my abdomen as I listen to Chris’ moans over the speakers. I need sex. Not with Chris, obviously. Just sex.

“Stop moving” Chris grunts, placing a hand over my shaking thigh. His palm is hot against my skin, making me gulp.

“Get your hand off me” I grit my teeth, trying hard not to push his hand away.

“You are moving like a worm and it’s distracting me” Chris looks down at me before taking his hand away.

“Sorry, the dress is too tight” I lie. I don’t want him to think that this is about him.

“Whatever, just stop squirming” He almost grins when I send him a death glare. “Childish”

“Idiot” I call him through my teeth.

“Both of you shut up before someone else listens” Polly pokes her head from Chris’ side, giving both of us a pointed look.

I huff before settling my back against my chair. Thankfully, the scene is over and my skin has stopped tingling. I manage to put my attention back into the movie, tears forming every once in a while. Soon after, the credits are rolling and everyone is on their feet, clapping at the whole crew.

I stand up and clap along before Claire softly pushes me to Chris’ side. Biting the inside of my lip, I wrap my arm around his waistline and look up, faking a smile. “Pretend that I just said something sweet” I whisper only form him to hear.

“That’s hard since I don’t have a point of reference” Chris grins, throwing my words back at me. “But I’ll try”

***

“God she is so pretty” I cry as I stare up at Taylor Swift as she walks around the room. Every since it was announce that she was going to be in the movie soundtrack, I nearly fainted.

“Stop being a creep” Chris gives me a weird look before going back to his whiskey.

After the movie was over, we traveled to the after party to loosen up a bit more and enjoy the cool LA night. I switched my dress before arriving, opting for a short black dress.

“Can you leave me alone? Please?” I try to not to make a face in case anyone is watching.

“Trust me, there’s nothing that I want more than to be away from you” Chris says, still holding his glass to his lips.

“You’d rather be with her?” I ask, reaching for my vodka soda.

“Seriously? Are we going there?” I can see the anger in his hands as it grips the glass. “Nothing happened”

About a month after the wedding, I started receiving texts and screenshots from one of Chris’ costars on a film. They were from a conversation between her and Chris and about how they couldn’t wait to be alone and fuck each other’s brains off. I obviously never cared about it out of jealousy but out of anger because he was making me look like an idiot. Claire and Polly had to intervene, so, after she got a deal on a movie thanks to them, the messages stopped coming.

“Whatever” I roll my eyes before going back to looking around the room. “At least she was pretty, I would actually murder you if you cheated on me with an ugly person”

“I didn’t cheat” He exhales harshly, really annoyed with me.

“Glad to see you are not biting each other’s heads off” Claire joins us at the VIP table, a glass of white wine in her hand.

“Come back in 5 minutes and we’ll see” I give her a sarcastic smile. “It’s really tempting”

“Maybe you should fuck the anger away” Polly smirks as she sits next to Claire.

I immediately tense up, remembering that scene from the movie. “I’d rather shave my entire hair and eat it before doing that”

Chris laughs, clearly amused by my comment. “And they say romance is dead”

“When it comes to this relationship, they are right” I flop back down on the couch. “Anyways, enough about our wonderful marriage. I want to dance or do something fun for once”

“Let’s go” Chris stands up, stretching his hand to me. I stare at his hand for a couple of seconds. “Before I change my mind”

“You want to dance with me?” I blink up at him.

“That’s what couples do, Y/N” Chris rolls his eyes before reaching for my hand and forcing my to stand up.

“So romantic” Polly teases, earning a giggle from Claire.

“Oh shut up” I glare at them before following Chris to where there are some people dancing.

Taylor has been singing for a while now, the tunes of Dress starting to slither through the speakers. Chris pulls me against his chest, his hand landing on the curve between my ass and my back. People start to turn their attention to us.

“People are staring” I whisper against his jacket.

“Ignore them” Chris whispers against my ears. “Just remember you have to look like a madly in love wife”

“Yeah, because that’s easy” I chuckle. “I’ve never been married before and I’ve never been madly in love either”

“Never?” He asks me, his breath fanning my skin as we sway with the music. “A high school boyfriend?”

“I mean I’ve had boyfriends” I explain. “Just never that serious. You?”

“Not really, I mean, I enjoyed my past relationships but never enough to wish to marry them” Chris spins me around just as Taylor starts singing the chorus.

“And yet you married someone you actually hate” I laugh, seeing the irony.

“Yeah, well, at least you are hot” He pinches my back softly.

“Christopher Robert Evans, is that a compliment?” I fake gasp. He has called me this before. And so have I. Just because we are not particularly fond of each other doesn’t mean we are blind.

“Don’t let it get to your head” Chris rolls his eyes. “I’m trying to get along here”

“I mean we are making progress” I look around the room, scanning the crowd. “This is the longest we have gone without giving each other an insult”

“Don’t tempt me” He chuckles. “No but I’m serious… We should try to at least get along”

“Yeah, I guess” I bit the inside of my cheeks. We stay pressed against each other, surrounded just by Taylor’s sweet voice and some chatter.

“I never cheated” Chris breaks our silence, his muscle tensing under my hands. “I know that I don’t owe you an explanation and I know you probably are not going to believe me. But I didn’t. I promised to respect you, and I plan on sticking to that promise, fake husband or not”

I fix my eyes on the button of his shirt, not daring to look him at his eyes. “I know… I guess I just chose to believe it to have a reason to hate you. I’m sorry”

“Okay, let’s just put that behind us” Chris relaxes, his back slouching a bit. “We can be friends, Y/N. God knows how long we are going to need to keep this going, might as well get along”

“Pains me to say this, but you are right” I finally look up at him, his blue orbs staring down at me. “Hi, I’m Y/N. And you are?”

Chris throws his head back, laughing. “You have my last name, Y/N. We can start over without weird introductions”

“Indulge me, Evans” I poke his chest. “I don’t know that much about you”

“What do you want to know?” He raises his eyebrow. “Ask away”

“What’s your favorite color?” I blush, realizing how stupid my question is. “Sorry, I’ll try again”

“Green” He ignores my second statement. “Yours?”

“Blue, but like light blue, kinda like your e-“ I cut myself, my cheeks flaring.

“Here I was asking to be friends and you are just laying it out on me” Chris grins hard. “You waste no time, Ms. Evans”

“Idiot” I slap his arm playfully. “I meant I like the shade, that’s all”

“Sure sure” He nods, a smug look on his face. “My turn… Favorite animal?”

“Mmm tough one… I really like raccoons and-“ I stop myself when Chris’ laugh erupts from his chest. “What?”

“Who the fuck likes Raccoons?” His eyes are still tingling with amusement.

“They are cute and funny” I defend myself. “They are like just so hilarious”

“Fuck that’s good” He shakes his head. “You are weird”

“Many people like raccoons” I fight him. “You need to learn to appreciate their beauty”

“Yeah, no thanks” Chris stops moving and grabs my hand. “Why don’t we go back to the table? Seems stupid to try to have a conversation while dancing”

“Okie dokie” I follow his lead back to our VIP table.

Polly and Claire are deep into a conversation, probably some gossip or something like that. PR people always know everything about everyone. We sit down across from there, getting back their attention.

“Oh look, you guys made it without a scratch” Polly nods proudly. “Who would’ve thought?”

I roll my eyes before turning my eyes back to Chris, falling back into our conversation.

***

“Hi, bub” I lean down, my heels in on hand and the other one petting Dodger behind his ears. “Where you a good boy to uncle Scott?”

Scott was our designated dog-sitter most of the nights. Neither of them minded, Dodger loved him so much, he actually listened to him.

“He’s always a good boy” Chris bents down to plant a kiss over the dog’s head before walking away from the entry way.

I make my way to my room, Dodger following right behind me. I hear Chris yell “traitor” before I disappear into my closet.

A couple of minutes later, I’m tucked in my bed, Dodger at the edge, his head over my feet. Chris’ footsteps catch hims attention, his head snapping up. “You traitor”

“Let him be” I pull the dog closer to me. “He always sleeps with you”

Chris and I have separate rooms and I only sleep on the masters bedroom whenever we have other people around. People that don’t know about the whole fake marriage thing. Mostly the maid and the cook and both of our families. Even Scott believed we were happily married.

“Yeah, cuz he is mine” Chris sasses. “C’mon boy”

But Dodger stays put. “Just give up already”

“Fine, just this once” Chris drops the subject before snapping his head up. “Uh, I forgot. Do you have any spare razor? I forgot to ask Mayra to restock my shelf”

“Yeah sure” I move slowly so that dodger won’t sprint out of my bed. I push the covers away and step out of the bed.

Quickly, I reach the bathroom and pull a pink razor from the cabinet under my sink. “You’ll have to settle for this pink one” I stretch my hand before looking up, Chris’ eyes not exactly meeting mine.

Fuck. I forgot that I chose the pink nightgown. The one the gave me too much cleavage and barely reached under my butt cheeks. Nervously, I reach for my rob that’s draping over my night stand, snapping Chris’ attention away from my bare legs.

“Uh, yeah no, thanks” Chris mutters, snatching the razor from my hand and walking away from my room a bit to fast.

I shake my head a bit before moving back to my bed, Dodger still sprawled on the edge of the bed. “Let’s sleep this off, buddy”

About 10 minutes have passed since I turned off the lamp over my nightstand, when a weird sound startles me awake. I squint my eyes, as if that’s going to help me decipher the source of the noise. A couple of seconds later, right when I’m about to drop it, I hear it again. A moan. A moan from Chris. His bathroom shares a wall with my room, sounds slipping into my area really easy. I can hear his muffled moans a bit clearer, connecting my ear to the wall.

“This fucker” I feel anger bubbling inside of me. He brought someone home. After saying he wouldn’t cheat on my. Well not technically on me, on the promise of respecting me.

I push away the covers from my frame, earning a glare from Dodger before he moves to settle over the free side of the bed.

I walk fast towards his room, ready to rip him a new one. I push pass his door and head straight to the bathroom. I keep waiting for a pair of heels or some panties dropped somewhere on his room but my eyes remain cleaned from that sight. I’m about to burst into the bathroom when the imagine forming on front of me stops me cold on my feet.

Chris’ has his back against the wall, the shower head splashing his face, water dripping down his torso. His hand is pumping his swollen dick, curses coming out of his mouth along with the movement.

It’s like I am being hypnotized. I want to move my eyes away, but the scene in front of me so fiery, my eyes remain glued to his member. I feel a warm spreading in between my legs as Chris pumps harder. He lets out a hard loud moan as white loads burst from the tip of his dick. He huffs, rolling his head back, letting the water wash away all the produce of his effort.

I snap out of it, walking backwards fast before sprinting back to my room. I close my door slowly, making sure not to make a sound before hiding under my bed spread. I close my eyes hard trying to remove the picture from my head but the heat in between my legs not allowing me to.

I give up after 5 minutes, poking my hand out from under the bed covers. Without even looking, I dig my hand into my nightstand, searching for my pink vibrator. This will have to do for the night.

I have a plan for tomorrow.

***

“Let me get it off, bub” I bent down to release Dodger from his leash, the pup ready to sprint to the backyard.

Dodger and I love to go on hikes together, just the two of us and the sun rising over the horizon.

I hear from clattering from the kitchen so I step into the area, spotting Chris over the stools that surround the kitchen island. “Hey there”

“Morning” Chris looks up at me, as he sets his coffee down. “How was the hike?”

“Pretty good” I reach for the top cabinet, looking for a glass. Chris probably put the dishes away because the glasses are to far back, forcing me on my tip toes.

I can feel Chris’ eyes burning a hole over my ass as the my tennis skirt rises enough to expose the underside of my cheeks. I turn around and Chris snaps his gaze back to his omelet, his cheeks turning red.

I fill my glass with water and gulp it down, not taking my eyes from him. I settle the glass down before moving to stand in front of him, the kitchen island separating us.

“Let’s have sex” I say hard, so hard that Chris starts coughing as a piece of egg gets caught up in his throat.

“I’m sorry, what?” He looks up at me, his breath a bit hard from the chocking and maybe from my statement.

“Let’s have sex” I repeat myself. “You said you were not going to cheat and neither will I. But we both have needs and I think it’s a good idea”

“What are you even-?” Chris starts but I roll my eyes.

“I heard you last night” I confess. His face turns a deep shade of red, the vein on the side of his neck pulsing. “Look, I won’t judge you, I did it, too.

“You- what?” Chris’ breath hitches, his knuckles turning white as he closes his hands.

“C’mon we are not five” I step around the kitchen island, closer to him but still leaving some space between us. “We can get each other off, and we are married so it’s not like we are doing harm to anyone

“I don’t- I’m” Chris stammers a bit. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea”

I stare at him for a couple of seconds before finally speaking up again. “Fine, I’m not going to beg. I still have my vibrator. It’ll probably do a better job, anyways”

I turn around to leave but Chris’ hand flys up to my neck, gripping the back to turn me back around.

“What did you just said?” He brings his face close to mine. His grip tightening a bit. “Repite it”

“I can do a better job with my vibrator than you” I breath out, focusing my eyes on him.

Chris grunts before crashing his lips down to mine angrily. A moan scapes my mouth as he bits into my lower lip, making way for his tongue to punish me. His free hand travels down to my leg, pulling me up to place me on the kitchen counter.

I push my hands into his hair as his tongue swipes my bottom lip clean before moving down to my jaw and the to my neck before settling on the spot right under my earlobe. He sucks hard as his hands start pulling at my sports bra. My sweaty chest makes it a bit hard so I pull away to help him. As soon as the textile is not longer covering my boobs, Chris dives right in for one of my nipples, forcing me to arch my back. While his tongue polishes my hard nipple, his right hand moves to the other unattended bud of flesh. First his palm rolls against the harden button, his calloused skin sending tingles straight to my core.

“Fuck” I moan as I his salive drips down a long my nipple. I can��t keep my eyes away from the scene, my burning gaze forcing Chris to look up at me as he pulls my nipple with his teeth. “Oh god”

“Lay down” Chris pushes me down with his hand until my back connects with the cold granite of the counter.

I bring my hands to his shoulders, tugging at the fabric of his shirts, signaling him to take it off. “Get rid of this, Christopher”

“On it” He groans against my skin, stepping away just enough to pull the shirt over his head. His hard pecks and abdomen glistening in front of me, the pants forcing his muscles to look more prominent. “Satisfied?”

“No” I pull him down against my lips, my tongue making a mess of his bottom lip. “Take me like a man, Evans” I mutter against his lips.

“As you wish” Chris groans before moving his mouth down along my skin until it reaches the edge of my skirt. I wait for him to take it off but instead he just pushes it up and tucks down my underwear along with my leggings. He steps back a bit to pull his pants down, his boxers following the same fate.

“You know how many times my eyes were glued to your ass as you skipped around with this fucking skirt?” Chris growls as his spreads my thighs as my pussy radiates heat right in front of him. “How many times I picture your ass red after a good slapping, only this thine material covering the swell of your ass?”

I moan loudly as his hands grab my thighs, my ass hanging slightly over the edge of the counter. “I want you to be loud, Y/N” Chris pinches my butt cheek before lining himself up to me. “Moan my name”

“Yes, Chris” I throw my head back as he rubs my entrance with his tip “Rip me open”

Chris pushes just enough for his head to enter my pussy, my folds hiding his pink tip. “Yeah stretch me open” I throw my head back as he sways back and forth, entering me slowly.

“I can’t hold it anymore” Chris grips my thighs. “Brace yourself”

I grab the edge of the kitchen counter, my knuckles turning white as he pushes hard into me. There’s a sting that makes tears form on my eyes. I’ve never had someone this big inside of me, my pussy throbbing at the new feeling.

“Look at you” Chris presses his thumb against my clit. “Taking me so good” He throws his head back as his entire cock disappears into me. His thrusts are hard and slow, building up the tension in my lower belly.

“C’mere” Chris stops, pulling out so I cry at the loss of him. “Let me turn you around”

Chris puts me on my feet before turning me around so my ass is pressed against his hard cock. “Bend over, Y/N”

I do as I’m told, pressing my chest against the cold tiles. Chris grabs both of my hands and holds them behind my back, using the as support to hold himself as he re enters me. “That’s right. So tight”

I’m lost in my own moans when I feel Chris spit on his hand, before pressing his thumb against my asshole. “Chris” I tense up immediately.

“I’m not going to fuck you there, Y/N” He massages around my hole. “I just like to see the way you clench up” he caresses my butt cheek, trying to get me to loosen up again. “Do you want me to stop?”

He waits for my answer as I take in the sensation, his thumb placing a soft pressure over my hole. It’s not bad. “No, it’s okay”

“Good” Chris grunts as he picks up his pace, plunging hard against me. This new position really allows him to go in deep, reaching a new part of me that has me whimpering.

“Chris” I whine when he angles himself so that I can feel him fill me up to the point where me knees are shaking under me. “I won’t last”

“Yes, cum around my cock” He reaches down to grab my pony tail in a fist, making me arch my back. His movements become erratic as he speeds up, encouraging the orgasm out of me.

“Yes yes yes” I cry as I feel the tightness around my pussy before the release finally arrives. The cries that come out of ny mouth are filthy, so filthy that Chris drops down and plugs in his thumb into my mouth. I bit at his skin, the waves of pleasure still rocking my core.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Chris groans as he pulls out, his entire load landing on my back. “Fuck yes”

I’m still shaking, waiting for him to catch his breath so that he can help me stand up. “Chris, fuck that was…”

I’m so out of breath I don’t even finish my sentence, Chris doing it for me. “So hot”

I feel him pull away from me, a cool breeze replacing the warmth of his body. “Don’t move” I hear him move around the kitchen, looking for a clean towel before running it down the the warm water that pours out of the faucet.

Chris walks back to me, cleaning his entire release from my back. “I think you need to wash your hair” I can hear the grin on his smug face.

“Seriously?” I groan, standing up. “Aim better next time, Evans”

“You want a next time?” He throws the dirty towel at the floor where my sweaty clothes are.

“I’m game if you are” I shrug, tugging the elastic out of my hair.

“Then let’s play, Y/N” Chris grins hard as his dick starts twitching.

****************************************************

New series coming your waaaay🩵 hope you guys like this

[spacebarbarianweird]

Okay so I know you're a big Dadstarion fan. So what do you think of Astarion and Gnome! Tav having a baby. (I'm not sure if it is quite possible given the size difference but let's say it is.) I couldn't help but start thinking about Astarion and a teeny tiny gnome baby the other day. Doing headcanons for this would be interesting I think 🤔

OK, so, I did some research. Apparently, there is a half-official sex guide that says that gnomes don't mate with elves. But there are no breeding rules at all. So, people suppose that unless it's human x elf or human x orc, the mixed kid just ends up inheriting one of their parents' race (so in this case Astarion will probably have a gnome kid whose elven ancestry will manifest in some minor details).

When I write fantasy I usually stay firm on biology issues (some races can have mixed kids, and some can't have kids at all coz they are different species - so they can just fuck without contraception which is good), but it doesn't have to be the common rule at all.

Masterlist

Headcanons The image of Astarion's daughter is inspired by Leroy van Vliet from Art Station (I love the ears)

So, you actually were sure it wasn't possible to make kids.

He is a vampire and he is an elf.

Gnomes don't mate with elves, that's for sure!

Do they?

Right?

When you find out you are pregnant, it's the worst time in your relationship.

You are afraid you don't remember being assaulted. Astarion blames you for infidelity.

Then, you are just afraid you can't carry a bigger child without consequences (elven kids are small that's for sure but not small enough for a gnome).

You often quarrel till you end up in tears. Once to twice you hit his knees with all the strength you have while insulting him in gnim.

But to your surprise, pregnancy goes... normal.

You go into labor when it's due and give birth to a gnome, just like you and all your relatives.

But with very familiar silver hair.

A gnome with elven ancestry, that's how it's called.

Astarion feels uneasy holding such a small child. She looks like a toy in his hands.

But the girl grows up looking very similar to Astarion - his facial features, his nose, his hair color, his crafty hands.

Just a different race.

Astarion jokingly calls her his pocket princess since she is small enough to be put in a bag when he needs to go somewhere.

Often, when Astarion takes a job helping an unfortunate person with shitty supernatural contracts, people can notice a little gnome looking out of her father's traveling sack.

"Here, princess, have an apple - daddy is busy"

And the little gnome keeps chewing an apple while looking at the world with her big green eyes.

As she grows, her mixed ancestry shows off.

She is way taller than other gnomes. 4 feet tall! A giantess!

Thanks to that she easily wears armor crafted by gnomes and the swords are all light to her.

But there is some miscommunication since Astarion subconsciously believes his gnome daughter is a baby when she isn't.

She is short, but ferocious and gorgeous- and you know that at least five young gnomes (three girls and two boys) can't take their eyes off her.

Outsiders sometimes assume she is an elf though bigger palms and a weird shape of ears betray her true nature.

Sometimes Astarion misses the days when he could fit his daughter into a pocket or a bag because now she is an adult who fights monsters and dates humans (because she has daddy issues and a thing for tall men).

But he still can carry her around, placing her on his shoulder while she gets angry for "being treated like that".

She actually doesn't mind. There are not many people who dare pick her up.

@tugoslovenka  

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@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

Prepared to get backlash on this but I dont understand why anyone likes jack gibson? He Literally ruins EVERYTHING then doesnt even feel the need to apologise then just gets given the chance to swoop in and be the hero or the nice guy and people seem to fall for that?

He slept with andy in s1 knowing it was against the rules and they could've broken the whole teams trust, slept with maya knowing andy would probably be hurt and let maya take all the blame for that and didnt defend her or have the decency to explain to andy himself, went out of his way to make maya feel worse for crying after Ripley died all bc he found her tears "a little distracting" and just kept going even after she told him to stop making her feel worse, threw a hissy fit the entirety of s3 at her bc he was bitter abt being dumped and had no problem ganging up on her with andy as if he wouldnt have taken the job if he was offered it, broke the code and slept with his teammates wife multiple times despite knowing she was married and then when Rigo found out he continued to lie to his face like right before he died he said he didnt know (which he did after the first time), then after being given therepy by diane and the team forgiving him very easily and he was preaching abt how he was trying to be better then had absolutely no problem helping maya self sabotage her new rl despite him knowing she was in one and that she'd been abused by her dad and threw that in her face then didnt leave when he was asked then picked her up and took her to the bunk while maya was clearly emotionally distressed, thus making the exact same mistake again after the rigo and eva situation and after treating maya terribly all season and constantly whining abt how she chose her career over him as if she ever made any promises to him or did anything with him other than hook up then SHE was one to apologise to HIM, he didnt apologise to the team for breaking the code, or to carina for getting with her gf knowing she was with her.

Then got with inara after saying he wouldnt, who was previously abused in a relationship who he helped get out of. Broke the code AGAIN in S5 by making out with vic knowing she was with theo and didnt even apologise to him and told vic she could ruin her life and that he didnt care, the writers then gave him this redemption arc with helping set up the clinic, and giving people medical care which he is literally paid to do, and stripped carina of any dignity and turned her into his fan girl with that stupid donor crap, his motivation to be it wasnt at all abt helping out his friends all his reasons were selfish then he butted into everything, literally fetishised them and was straight up just creepy, then blurted out marinas private information to the first person he next saw (andy) without permission, then ditched the station without a word after Andy's charges literally JUST got dropped and leaving marina with absolutely no warning, also bailed on marsha who has basically been a mother to him, lied abt where he was to andy for like 3 months knowing how triggering lies were for her, was blatantly rude to maya and disclosed her private info AGAIN infront of vic, didn't even apologise to her for leaving or to andy for lying all carina got was "oh sorry by the way" then went with the victim complex. Everyone on the team showed up for him and tried to help him ben, vic and carina gave him advice rigo came back from THE DEAD for him and andy constantly bent over backwards trying to help him and she was met with rudeness.

He made maya's injury all abt himself and confided in her literal WIFE abt how hard it would be for HIM to lose her then didnt even ask if either of them were okay nor did he visit maya in the hospital, then when carina came back to the clinic he followed her around like a creep trying to peer into a private cubicle then started accusing her of all sorts and gossiped abt her to ben despite knowing she was going through such a difficult time as if he has any right to criticise given his track record and used the excuse that "he didnt want the family to fall apart" and said he'd do the same with ben and miranda which is just rude and not his place anyway and also that he'd "worked hard to be back there" when he really didnt he was instantly given his job back the second it was announced that maya was injured.

When he slipped and smacked his head in 6x14 he got a concussion he still went on the call and didnt tell anyone until he literally passed out in the beanery which if he had collapsed on the call he could've hurt himself even worse or left a team member exposed in a fire and got them hurt or even a civilian. Extremely irresponsible of a paramedic then was suprised it lead to permanent brain damage. Then when everyone tried to do something nice and throw him a party he was like "they are only doing this bc they are obliged to" like seriously? People on the team are constantly there for him and he is so coddled by them. He has marsha and his sisters yet still mopes around like "I have no one who cares abt me :(" I get hes been through alot but so has everyone else they dont whine nearly as much and some dont get half as much support as he does. He has made so many mistakes and has put in the least amount of effort to make up for them yet everyone still loves him? I dont get it..

Also I think the actor is so bad. I'm sure grey is a nice person and this is purely criticising acting capabilities. I literally can't watch his scenes without cringing. In the first 3 seasons I thought he was bland and emotionally stiff then after that it looked like he was almost trying to hard as his face was constantly twitching and eyes squinting, all his sentences were stuttery and couldn't get one out without an "uhhh", also his HANDS omg I particularly noticed this in S5 and a bit in s6 (however it looked like the directors made an effort to get him to tone it down after s5) WHY is he always flailing? They're constantly moving and it doesnt look natural AT ALL and it is SO distracting. I known for a fact that makes the editors lives so much more difficult bc that's hard to edit in post..and emotional range is not good. It never has been. If you pay attention pretty much all of the crying scenes he's has he covers his eyes. There is no tears. It doesnt seem like grey is very comfortable with doing them he doesnt really do it very well imo

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x04 - An Affair of Honor (Part 1)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Alright, episode four, some meatier things to sink our teeth into, and another Polin scene to dissect, finally!

Rutledge

We're getting into the baby drama really earlier in this one. Marina has spent the previous five minutes being poked at like prized cattle as Portia is trying to sell her off to the quickest bidder. Of course, it's a humiliating thing, especially when Lord(?) Rutledge is a crusty, old man.

When Penelope is leaving, she notices Marina is upset and asks if she should stay to help. it's one part gossip, sure, but I do think at this point, she considers Marina a friend and does care about how Marina is feeling.

I need to take a quick non-Polin moment and just say that we have the introduction of one of my favorite characters on the show --- Albion Finch, who is there to call on Phillipa. I love Finch and his sweet, awkward, adoring love for Phillipa. The fact that he's there for comic relief is a nice touch to a rather heavy season 1. But also, the fact that all of the Featherington sisters are going to find men who truly, truly adore them --- especially when their parents' marriage is cold and lifeless --- is really one of my favorite aspects of the show.

Quill

I love this conversation between Eloise and Penelope -- it's just a well written scene with the conversation turning from one thing to another in an organic fashion. Just as from a structure point of view, I think it's great.

We start off with the two of them looking at quills, and Eloise complaining about feathers in the hair, and how Daphne is closer to getting married which has ignited Eloise's fears that the attention would turn to her and her turn in the marriage mart, and Eloise just does not want that!

Pen finds it all amusing -- she is following all the Daphne stuff closer than she lets on (she has to for Lady Whistledown to be as good as she is!), but on a more personal level, she's always been amused that Eloise is so against it while she, herself, doesn't want to admit that she is a fan of all of it. Eloise continues on about wanting to be free and independent (and girl -- I do not blame you, I couldn't be a woman in this time period). Her line about how their options are to "squawk and settle" or "never leave the nest" while she wants to fly is really on point and essential to her character.

(Also, note the bird metaphors as they're talking about quills and feathers? it's a nice touch.)

But the conversation takes a turn when Eloise starts praising Lady Whistledown for her ability to make a name for herself without a man's help. The grin on Pen's face when Eloise notes "a brilliant woman of business, who fools the ton while pocketing their money". The irony of which is that Lady Whistledown is standing right next to her.

Penelope is grateful to see everyone buying her written words, and she is making money off it. But to have the respect and admiration of her best friend? That's just icing on the cake. Because Eloise is incredibly impressed. But Pen plays it down -- as gentle amusement. It's a wonderfully played moment.

The next line Eloise has about LW is really fascinating, though: "Imagine the life she must lead. Independence. You can be sure she is not simpering on the edge of a ballroom every night, praying a man might take a fancy and leg-shackle her into marriage."

Pen laughs, and says that it's quite the life Eloise has fabricated. She takes it with ease, though Eloise has described exactly what LW is really like. The fact that Pen is not independent and stuck in a verbally abusive and neglectful home. The fact that she does hide on the edge of the ballroom. And, while Pen does like romance, and would be open to suitors, let's be real, there's only one man she'd like to be leg-shackled into marriage with. ;)

Then Eloise gets it in her head that they should find her and Pen is so delighted by this -- the fact that having this secret is really a fun thing for her right now. The fact that Eloise, whom she admires so deeply is fawning over her is a quite nice thing for her ego.

And, I mean, it's a human thing -- that while Pen cherishes her friendship with Eloise, and they usually are on the same level, there are times when Pen probably does feel less than Eloise (something we'll get into later in the episode). So the fact that Eloise is so gushing over something she's done, something that can be admired in her, makes her feel prideful.

Eloise proclaims that they're the two most clever girls in all of the ton and if anyone could figure out LW it's the two of them. Of course, Pen does not want this to happen, and brushes it off, claiming family obligations. Which gets them into a conversation about Marina.

Pen has kept Marina's secret, by the way. We already know Pen is pretty good at keeping secrets, and although she does trust Eloise, she wouldn't dare bring scandal to her family, and specifically Marina. She does like Marina - and I kind of want to emphasize that Pen doesn't use LW gossip to purposely harm people (not really). Marina, as of this point, is someone she wants to continue to protect. She respects Marina enough to want to protect her.

The scene ends with Eloise claiming she is going to start her search for LW, which is going to be a huge plot line for the rest of the season and into the next. Pen is pretty chill about it, though she thinks her identity is pretty secure, and maybe since she is so close to Eloise, she feels like she has the situation under control.

The Boxing Match

Huh. Lord Featherington standing next to his future son-in-law. You know if Lord Featherington had any sense, he would have figured out how to snatch a Bridgerton up for his own daughters (instead of Marina) and it would have saved his ass. However, that might have ended up with Benedict married to Prudence or something, and that would have felt weird.

You guys notice this scene is one giant metaphor for the 'fight' going on in Daphne's heart between the Prince, who actually makes a lot of sense for her because he is cute and actually wants all the things Daphne wants and her burning desire for the Duke? Idk what's so wrong with the Prince anyway - he seems like a perfectly lovely guy...

Oh, am I supposed to be talking about Colin? Oops. Yes, he's in this scene. Continuing being the show's highest paid extra.

There are two Colin things I can pull out of his nothing to do in the background...

He has a front row seat to the asshat-ery that is Lord Featherington. And I have no doubt, had he lived, Portia would not have been the only one getting it from Colin over the treatment of the family and of Penelope.

Colin seems to be rather enjoying the match. While it may be much more subtle and lighthearted than Anthony, Colin does have a bit of competitiveness about him.

Cheese

I need to mention the LW voice over -- which sets the scene, discussing Lady Trowbridge, her recently dead husband, and the fact that the new widow is throwing a giant party in his 'celebration'. Pen, you are so saucy in these observations!

But more interestingly, LW goes on about how much of a scandal it would be if any unmarried woman dared do anything with a man it'd be her ruin. So, it's a testament at how little people notice (or take seriously) Pen (or even Colin), because their asses would have been married so fast if anyone had taken a moment to witness the shenanigans that go on between them.

Anyway... more to the point, Portia is once again shuffling Marina off onto Lord Rutledge, and Penelope feels terrible for her.

Meanwhile, Finch continues courting Phillipa while they bond over cheese, and I dare say, Pen is quite enjoying it. Not only are they the epitome of dorkiness, but I think Penelope has a tiny iota of affection for at least one of her sisters, but also maybe Finch as well. I think she can appreciate a love match, even between two dolts, when she sees it. I also love at how off put Prudence is during all of this -- it's hilarious.

I just need to take a second and shout out to this dude who is just having the most boring time with the harp. Idk why but it makes me laugh every time they cut to him.

It also gives me a moment to mention two things slightly relevant to Pen and Colin... A) the fact that Lord Featherington continues to be an asshat and basically tells Finch he can't marry Phillipa and B) Eloise is continuing her search for LW by thinking its the servants, and we don't get a lot of class stuff in Bridgerton, but I do love the maid and how she's like you stupid, privileged child -- like we'd spend our little free time writing about you lot.

What a Barb

Finally! Another Polin scene! Let's do this!

At the beginning of this, Marina is being manhandled by Lord Rutledge, and basically mouthing to Penelope to get her the fuck outta there. Pen looks sincerely distraught over Marina's plight, and probably would step in if she could.

But more importantly, no one really notices or cares that she's there... except the one person who is always seeking her out at these social situations. I will point out every time it's Colin who starts a conversation, because most of the time, it is him. And yeah, social norms of the time dictate... whatever, these two don't care a flying fig about the Regency Era's social norms.

You know how in Season 3, Benedict goes on a long diatribe to the Mondrich's that once you're married, the rules don't apply and so who gives a flying fuck? These two are already there. One is just too dumb to realize it yet.

[Also - I have to note that he's wearing yellow in this scene. Granted, everyone is wearing the theme of creams and golds, but I think it's important here, as this is the real start of his integration into the Featherington family.]

Colin comes in with a joke about the new Lord Trowbridge -- a new born baby, and if he falls asleep they all need to leave. And Penelope is deeply amused. She appreciates his sense of humor, and he definitely gets a kick out of making her laugh.

And look, I'm just gonna say it, Colin's got real Lord Whistledown energy in this scene. He may not be indulgent in gossip the way Pen is, but he'll definitely make fun of things the way she does.

And then Pen ups his joke with a scandalous piece of gossip -- that it's clearly obvious Lady Trowbridge fucked around with her servant and produced an heir with that guy instead of her husband. Note the red hair? It's clearly obvious. And then we get's Colin's infamous line "Penelope, what a barb!".

He is amused by her and entertained by her and scandalized by her but it all impresses him. Her observation skills, her wit, her cleverness, he really is taken by her natural abilities -- and we see that the two of them genuinely enjoying each other's company, which is why he seeks her out every time there's one of these balls. They make the evenings more enjoyable for each other.

But also, Colin... my dear, sweet, dumbass favorite character of mine... (No, look, I love Colin to death so I feel okay pointing out when he's being a dumbass) THIS IS LADY WHISTLEDOWN! SHE'S STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU IMPRESSING YOU WITH THE WONDERFUL BEING THAT SHE IS AND YOU ARE ENJOYING IT -- EATING IT RIGHT UP! SHE IS RIGHT. HERE. GO DANCE WITH HER -- DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY MARINA!!

Penelope and her 'omg, ilu so much and the fact that you get me and laugh with me and think i'm awesome, will you let me have all your babies right now? cause i'll seriously let you get me pregnant. right here. right now. in this ball room. i don't even care if everyone else is here' look.

The thing about this moment though? Is that it's a shared moment. Yeah, Pen takes a second to kind of stare up at him with her ever adoring look and her unrequited love glazed eyes and it's just a /moment/ for her. But Colin lingers just as long. In fact, it's a beat too long and they both know it, and suddenly, they're both looking away as if they're guilty of something.

The intensity of the moment spins them in different directions, however. Colin finally notices Marina dancing with Rutledge. And it's Pen who kind of uses the magic words to spark Colin's actions. She tells him that Marina needs rescuing -- and oh boy, is that going to kick in Colin's hero complex.

Colin, boy, you do have some prince charming energy going on in this moment.

Yes, I do believe Colin has genuine interest in Marina. But getting to jump in and save her from a terrible fate, really gets him going. And poor Pen -- she kind of knows what's happened after she's already said it, and she's left there alone while he whisks Marina away.

Colin, what's going on with your hair, babe? It's, like, going everywhere.

The thing about this is -- he jumps in with a joke, just like he had when he approached Penelope. Only, Marina doesn't quite get it. Not only do they not know each other -- and Marina isn't used to Colin's sense of humor, but she's so concerned with her own issues, she doesn't quite know what to make of Colin's levity.

But she is amused by him, too, and this is where she starts to see some potential. He's a nice guy, pleasant to look at, willing to get her out of sticky situations, and (unfortunately) easily played. Colin is a romantic and really does enjoy play the role of rescuer, and Marina's smart enough to pick up on that really quickly. It isn't going to take her long to figure out that he is exactly what she needs to help her situation.

Marina asks him to spin her away -- and he does so literally, taking her off and (he thinks) sweeping her off her feet. Daphne is going to mention to the Prince that Colin knows how to make things 'memorable'.

And there are a couple of neat aspects to this little moment. For one, they're giggling and laughing together -- which, is kind of fascinating for two very different reasons. For one, this kind of signifies genuine connection and while everyone else is taking all this courtship stuff so seriously, Colin again brings levity to it, which is sweet and endearing. But on the other hand, it speaks to his youth that he's so playful with his jokes and his dancing. He doesn't adhere to the steps he's supposed to, but instead whisks Marina around the dance floor not paying attention to what he's supposed to be doing (according to society). And it somewhat speaks to the fact that what's going on with Marina isn't as serious as he feels like it probably should be.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now. Lots more to unpack in this episode -- including some really great Penelope scenes...

[amuppetreference]

number four

type: online, @muppetjokerfannumberfour

status: active

affiliation: none

number four is former member of the brotherhood and kj's most recent ex. they just might actually be crazier than he is. their actions have been widely condemned by brotherhood and croaker haters alike, and they seem to swing between a need to be accepted by the brotherhood and hatred of them. they are an important player in this saga, so we must discuss them, but i discourage anyone from directly interacting with them because well, they might just have diarrhea on your porch

despite their prominence, we know very little about four's life outside of their obsession with kj. here is what we do know: they are 21, they recently graduated college, they have adhd, they are genderfluid, and they live about four hours away from kj, meaning they probably live somewhere in the south or midwest. as for their interests: they like marina and the diamonds, have a thing for jd of heathers fame, and are an ex-hazbin hotel fan. that's it, at least for now.

four has a history of instigating infighting in the brotherhood and can be extremely manipulative, so it's important to take everything they say with a heaping of salt.

they are fond of making call-out posts, including ones about kj after their break-ups. they are the first person to discuss kj's kinning of vriska in an attempt to embarrass him, and given this pre-dates the strange aeons incident i am inclined to believe this accusation was true.

during their relationships with kj they were extremely possessive and expressed jealousy of gonzobatman and denise, and four has said this was one of the reasons for their first breakup. i hope i don't have to explain why a partner insisting you don't speak to people they happen to be jealous of is a huge red flag. overall, their relationship seems to have been extremely unhealthy, with four insisting that kj needs them to function. this is reflected in their conversations with gonzobatman, who expressed concern about the relationships and intentions early on. given gonzo is generally civil with most of the brotherhood, his dislike of four was definitely a warning sign that unfortunately went unnoticed.

after their first break-up, number four begged for forgiveness and briefly got back together with kj, but this quickly fell apart, probably because of their controlling behavior. after being ghosted and blocked by kj they uh.

well they decided to drive four hours to take a shit on kj's porch.

kj had planned to meet up with four before the break ups, and we can assume that is why four had his address. even kj's enemy denise tried to warn him, although kj did not take the threat seriously. this proved unwise, as four did go through with their plan. kj's mother blamed his father, believing he did in retaliation after kj shit on his doorstep.

four seems to have some digestive issues. it's unclear if their diet or underlying health issues are the cause. we recommend they try Olipop, a new kind of soda that promotes digestive health.

note: this entry is incomplete. four has a long history with kj and his associates, and i am still finding new information. this entry will be updated as i continue my research.

[gemsofgreece]

P.O.P: A masterpost!

Given that this is a blog about Greece, I suppose it's only fair to discuss what is going on in Greece right now. We're in the mid of an interesting, maybe unusual (if not unprecedented) cultural phenomenon. And I am seeing that splinters from this explosion have even reached Tumblr.

Chapters:

Preface

The Album

The Songs

Preface

The artist that represented Greece in Eurovision this year, Marina Satti, is not exactly a newcomer. She's actually involved with the music and general artistic industry of the country pretty much in the last 15 - 18 years. However, it was only eight years ago when she decided to put her phobias and anxieties aside and claim a prominent role as a solo singer and performer of her own work. In those eight years, she had the tendency to appear suddenly, go viral with one song or one project, then disappear and repeat that cycle over and over. In 2022 she eventually released her first album YENNA (=birth), celebrated by fans and music critics, and from that point onwards she started building a more consistent career, more open to the exposure of the audience and the media alike.

In late 2023 she was announced as the representative of Greece in Eurovision. In March 2024 she released the song for the contest, Zari, which sort of shocked a large part of the population for many reasons that I do NOT ascribe to, half of which should be studied in Greek sociology. (The song has literally 0 shocking elements.) From that point onwards, an unbelievable war was unleashed against her, not only by people, but also by other celebrities and the media, all while she was trying to prepare for her Eurovision performance. Satti defended her song Zari but except for rare incidents, she mostly avoided commenting or answering back to the hate she was receiving. This mass assault persisted and continued even when she lost her father three weeks before she had to fly to Sweden for the contest.

Her days and rehearsals in Malmö, Sweden weren't exactly good either but I have analyzed what she went through in another post already. On top of everything else, in the press conference of the qualifiers for the final, she feigned disinterest towards the Israeli participation for the obvious political reasons, a move that doubled the hatred she was receiving from the Greek government, Greek national TV broadcaster, half the people and all the Israeli, Jewish people and Israel supporters who unleashed a well organized cancel campaign against her. Unlike what happened with the Belgian, the Dutch and the Irish participants, the Greek TV broadcaster did not support or protect Satti but instead forced her to revoke, in supposed fear of a diplomatic episode (for a yawn in a pop song contest, mind you).

Marina Satti and her song Zari for Greece got the eleventh place in the final, which caused confusion anew in the country, as the fans were not happy but still content with the result, while the haters wanted to blame her for missing the Top 10 but had a hard time proving themselves right for having predicted a disaster or a disqualification.

In any case, with her unconventional song and her very charismatic if a little loud persona in Eurovision, Satti managed to quickly build a small European fan community. A few days after the final, Zari started climbing the global charts (it's #16 in the Global Viral Chart as we speak, a first for a Greek lyric song).

Four days after the contest, Satti strategically released her second album, called P.O.P.

The album

P.O.P. has become single-handedly the talk of the town in Greece, in a way that I don't remember happening enough for other artists and certainly not for a woman. To be honest, I don't remember another famous woman doing what Marina did here. Part of the novelty of this album is that its main goal is not the music itself but rather expression and it is a manifesto of sorts. But the true novelty is HOW she did it. So let's analyze a bit the genius of P.O.P.:

I call it P.O.P here but the album's title is actually Π.Ο.Π in Greek. Apart from the obvious nod to the pop music genre, Π.Ο.Π. actually stands for P.D.O. (Protected designation of origin). This could be a jab at all those who hated her and questioned her ethnicity for having a Sudanese Arab father and being, ALAS!, only half-Greek, while in the meantime Marina in Sweden was vocally advocating for the support and promotion of the Greek language and Greek ethnic sounds in modern music. So, she's P.D.O., certified GreekTM and pop! This is one of the cleverest album titles I have seen.

Now, let's go to the equally clever cover of the album.

What is only seemingly a rushed design looks like a draft in microsoft paint. It looks like the colour base was black which is erased with rushed white brushes, until the white prevails over the black, leaving only a few traces of the darker paint behind (remember, she's half-Greek half-Arab and she receives hate for this). On top of it all, there are several bold brushes of Greece's trademark blue. At the center of the cover we see the title, in the likes of an instant message. P.O.P aka P.D.O. and a Greek flag emoji next to it. Protected Greek origin. Below is her name in Latin characters, with her surname in capital letters, probably a tirbute to her late father. The time of the text message, next to her surname, I wonder whether it is random, but knowing Marina, I have this morbid feeling this time is not random at all. The message is circled with more blue paint and it suspiciouly looks like something is covered under the blue paint, next to the Greek flag. Below the text message, there is an emoji of a goat. This works in three possible ways: a) the goats are a classic image of the Greek countryside, especially Crete island where Marina comes from, b) it is used as the slang G.O.A.T, which is possible given the content of the songs and c) well, it could also serve as a self-deprecating joke idk!

The back of the cover features the names of the songs with a suitable emoji each. The time remains the same, next to the last song, which is the song she dedicated to her father.

The songs

TUCUTUM

Tucutum is a song Marina had releashed as a single last year actually. The reception of this song was very interesting because before Eurovision it had almost as many dislikes as likes. You see, it was Marina's song that made Greeks remember they actually like quality music. An extremely hypocritical attitude since more young Greeks than I care to admit like trap music. And I am listening to it and I am pretty sure Marina's trap is rocket science compared to the average trap of the... uh... proper trappers. And yet the trappers get nowhere near as many dislikes. But there is an explanation even for this: Marina blends Greek, other Balkan and Romani cultural elements, she indirectly trashes the biggest political party of the 80s-90s (largely responsible for the financial crisis), she directly addresses her haters, "who do nothing but say, say, say" and states it's her time to be heard. In the music video, she is supposedly the guest singer in such a feast of mixed cultures where men drink and celebrate to a decadent degree. When Marina breaks her trapping to intersect with a beautiful melodic bridge which is the part she was practicing the most before she arrived, therefore what she truly cared to express, a short ballad expressing her dream to fly away free like a bird, only a little girl listens to her in hope, while all the men have dropped unconscious due to their decandence. In the end of the feast, women discard the unconscious men in trucks. So you see, there is cultural, political and gender commentary. Too much for a braindead type of Greek to deal with, so let's just pretend we suddenly hate trap.

2. ZARI

As already stated, Zari was the Greek song for Eurovision. The lyrics is a blend of a regular love song, her exorcising her anxiety for the contest and multiple sly references to her older songs as a treat to her fans. She did once more something amazing - the song is sort of jarring and crazy because it combines many music genres. Instead of toning it down with the music video, she went all in and created an even crazier albeit ingenious video targeting foreign viewers. This time, Marina is a lowkey insane tour guide helping an unsuspecting typical "German tourist" (fun fact: the actor is actually an American retiree in Greece!) navigate and explore what seems to be an Athens-on-drugs. This once again made "proud"(?) Greeks protest that "this is not what Greece truly is", entirely missing the point that Marina didn't even have to do a travel promo in the first place. My humble opinion is that Greece is A LOT of things and when all of these are compressed in a presentation under 3 minutes with a touch of humour, it can totally give an on-drugs vibe. In truth, Marina didn't lie about anything she showed. She was proven right again, with most foreign people loving the video and her perception of Athens, including the winner of this year's public vote, Croatia's Baby Lasagna, who praised her for having the best music video this year. Objectively, she did.

3. STIN IYIA MAS

Now we go to the new, post-Eurovision songs. This is a pure song for a feast, where the composition belongs to Marios Tsitsopoulos, an artist I don't know much about but the general vibes are bouzoukia, ethnic, folk, balkan, arabic, a bit of trap, world etc. It's an easy, cheerful song and Satti elevates it with her angelic voice. So far, so good. (NOTE: There is a lyric there, she says she is swimming in the Aegean Sea but calls for he love to take her out so she won't drown. This is not an unusual lyric trope in Greek but keep it in mind for later.)

4. LALALALA

This is a song that takes you aback with it's childlike, unreserved joyousness. It almost feels like a musical "talk to the hand while I go lalalala" to the haters. It is basically Greek island folk turned into pop and the lyrics are pure innocent happiness, perhaps also paying tribute to classic Greek movies of the 50s-60s. I don't know if Marina filmed the music video before or after the ageists went berserk against her (she's 37 and everyone acts like she's 87) but the music video for this song, intentionally or unintentionally, is the most epic fuck you to the ageists. Marina, all people in our 30s are with you!!! The music video has had more than 1 million views in under 48 hours, a huge success in our small country. She's going viral. Again.

5. EIMAI KALA!!!!!!!!

The party is officially over. Again, this album is more of an experience than purely music. In this track, which is under one minute, the album features a Greek life coach recommending some positive affirmations for happiness, love, career etc. In short, that is a jab for what Marina has to do to deal with all the changes in her life and also all the good and all the bad vibes she has received.

6. MIXTAPE

If everything else wasn't bold enough, here we are. Mixtape. The 10-minute descent into madness. Ultimately, this is what makes this album what it is more than anything else. A song that is resolutely not a song and yet everyone admits that they have been listening to it again and again, either trying to understand everything or dancing to it as if it is actually a song. The funniest comment I saw about it is someone saying: "my mom entered the room as I was listening to this and I switched it to porn because at this point it is easier to explain". XD This could serve as one of those youtube videos about "what schizophrenia feels like". There is no way Mixtape can be effectively translated into English. In short, it is her answer to all the hate (or some of it, for the full deal Mixtape should be one hour long) in a delirious way through a patch of sounds and songs. There is trap in there, a famous bouzoukia singer whose lyrics can incidentally be used as Marina's commentary for the haters, she warns and reminds of her first song TUCUTUM, saying "didn't I say back then I am ready to speak now", she says she managed to shut the haters up, there is direct address for the criticism for Zari, she's mocking the lyricist who claimed copyright violation for the lyric "ta ta ta ta" (for real), she features (surely to her ignorance) a song from the singer that called her song "cat vomit", she features other trappers making a commentary on the Balkan ways of a Greece that pretends to be West Europe, she mocks those who obsess over Bouzoukia but become music critics when it comes to her, she mentions Eurovision, I think she also makes some references to Ireland's and Malta's songs (not negative), she speaks of a man that I am not sure who is supposed to be, many more things that I haven't fully deciphered, then she has like a kid song praying to Virgin Mary for a miracle for all this madness to stop before (tw) she loses her mind and falls from a cliff, then some more stuff, then suddenly a catholic Hallelujah is heard (implying the miracle has happened) and then she returns to the kid song but her voice sounds more mature than before and she goes like: "Sike I lied to you, thanks to Virgin Mary I don't care anymore, I am off to my vacation, I don't give a fuck and BYE". I don't think this has happened before by a Greek artist, especially in such a way. And I am so delighted that it is a woman who did this. This has attracted so much interest and curiosity around her, her personality. She is THE talk right now. Hats off, honestly. We wish non-Greek speakers could really fathom what is going on here but after all, she made this for us only... and it is...an experience.

7. AH THALASSA

In another 180 degree turn, this is a very emotional ballad for the loss of her father. She ends this frankly lunatic album by allowing access to her psyche, the suffering she went through all this time and never let it show. The title means "Oh, sea", where she implores the sea to take her down and drown her (notice the contrast with the lyrics in STIN IYIA MAS, that I mentioned). The ballad is sweetly haunting, Marina sounds truly like a siren mourning. But even here we get a taste of the ever surprising gem Satti is. The last part of the song is instrumental and as the music reaches its climax, the song ends straight away, right before the highest note in a morbid metaphor that almost scares you to death. Because that's how death is, especially of a loved one. Always unexpected. (This is the only song of hers so far that her haters have steered clear from and I think this says something.)

So, this is what Greece is basically dealing with now, crazy as it is. We are losing our mind over an artist who is not new, but only recently decided to start revealing all her cards. Furthermore, Satti is about to become known globally or at least beyond Greece's borders. If eventually she doesn't, that will be because she decided against it or she miscalculated greatly. But right now, the stars are on her side and we only need to see what happens next.

[lapelduide]

Listen y'all. I love Simon&Daphne, Kate&Anthony, Charlotte&George and Penelope&Colin. I love all of them and I can WITHOUT HUMILIATING ANY OF THEM FOR FLATTERING ANOTHER. They all are good in their own ways. You can love s1, s2 and QC -i do too- and I respect that but I have no respect for those who are bringing down upcoming s3 for praising QC. Saying it can never be as good as QC. Fr why can't it be? It surely can. Colin and Penelope are complex characters playing by wonderful actors.

You may not like Penelope and Colin but as it has been said before s1 Anthony was unlikeable too and it literally takes 2 episodes for people to fall in love with him. So why can't you love Polin too?

I sometimes wonder are we actually watching the same series with those who are saying Pen is evil and Colin is selfish.

Well the reason I felt the need to write my thoughts down was a comment I saw. A fans comment basically saying she/he and most of the fans -you are a single person talk for YOURSELF wtf- will not watch s3 if there will not be Kate and Anthony as much as s2. That Penelope has so much screen time and that's why "most of the fans" don't like her.

First of all I think toxic Kathony fans need to understand that their season was season 2. They can't have the whole series and can't be the main focus all of the upcoming seasons. GET OVER IT. IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THEM AS MAIN COUPLE GO AND REWATCH SEASON 2. If you are going to watch s3 just for them then simply don't watch.

And Penelope having so much screen time? I don't think so but even if she does, it is understandable. Because guess what?- She is Lady Whistledown! SHE IS IMPORTANT. If you are disliking a character because of this shitty reason then don't blame the character. I personally don't think there is something wrong about her screen time, in fact we are understanding Pen's pov. -I mean I hope WE are. At least I do.-

I can't understand why some people can't assimilate s3's main couple? One way or another the explanations I read was nothing more than excuses.

-Pen should have character development through season 3 and Polin season should come after that? She will have this in s3.

-There is so much to solve? Well that is one of the reasons why it will be exciting.

I am not even going to talk about the ones who are saying Penelope should BEG Colin, Eloise and Marina; the ones who are saying Colin doesn't deserve Pen, the ones who are saying Pen doesn't deserve Colin; defending Colin loves Marina, that Polin shouldn't be the endgame etc. Huh, I have seen enough.

Anyways. Nobody can change my opinion about how good s3 will be but I was furious after reading that comment. So thank y'all for reading my little verdantly TED Talk.

Since I am so nervous... here are some gifs for some relaxation. (I wish i could create gifs too...)

[the-way-astray]

aldella :3

i'm not really the kind of person that makes playlists for characters or relationships, but i will give this a shot. i have never heard any of these songs, unfortunately. but i'm a fan of marina and the diamonds so i looked up that song and listened to it, and. that song is so them. you are so correct.

the line "Last night's love affair is looking vulnerable in my bed" is definitely giving regret to me. but in the way where you can't stop anyway because it's an addiction. the lines "One minute I'm a little sweetheart/And next minute you are an absolute creep" are definitely giving such them vibes. especially with the blaming tone. it says i'm a sweetheart, but you're a creep, so it is definitely giving "i'm so nice to you, but you aren't that nice back" energy. it's so yearning, like "why can't you just fix yourself? we'd be so perfect" but it has no self-reflection. they never realize that they may be part of the problem. it's also giving such tedious vibes, like i like the parts of you that are good and i'm willing to stay for that. but i hate so many things about you but. i can't leave because "We've got obsessions". and i am so a fan of sick relationship aldella. they are absolutely in the trenches but they don't know it. so the lines "All you ever think about are sick ideas/Involving me, involving you" are so yummy to me. they are so eternally fucked up but in such a tangled way that they can't untangle. they are so codependent but they can't trust each other and they need each other but they feel so wrong around each other. but there's no life without the other. and this next line: "You never told me what it was that made you strong/And what it was that made you weak". oh my goodness. because like it's so them. aldella have serious trust issues to the point where they know nothing about each other at all beyond very surface-level stuff like favorite food or color. they really don't know each other for them; they don't know each other's hopes or dreams or fears or strengths or weaknesses or personality. they only know surface-level romantic gestures and the "proper" way to act toward a partner. and the repetition of the line "Last night's love affair is looking vulnerable again" at the end is just like. this will never end. the cycle will just keep going because they refuse to sit down and have an honest conversation. their trust issues are what keep the cycle going. their relationship's fatal flaw is what will perpetuate it into eternity.

i'll definitely listen to these other songs but. you nailed at least one. anyway i'm so normal about them :)

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

A lesser insecure miserable loser fandom (kanthony Kate Simone stans) would’ve cried their eyes out and had a tantrum (like they did when charithra had 1 cover Nic Luke shared 1 shoot with 2 other cast members for EW and few netflix interviews press or solo cover shoot which btw Luke didn’t even have and Charithra Nicola had 2-3 netflix press interviews 1 cover the end but oh well a lesser fandom would’ve gone full blown insane that someone who isn’t the season lead is having yet another cover and so much press what’s this 3rd or 5th idk but good for her get it girl! But y’all know Polin Nic Luke stans we aren’t the insecure sad miserable loser types the normal non marina haters losers that is that kanthony Kate SA stans still are and were during s2 😂

Good on Bridgerton Shondaland PR marketing Netflix team for doing so much promo and press for the whole cast this season on polin season not just for polin but for the whole cast getting it multiple covers shoots and don’t even get me started on the press interviews thats about to flood in🔜 +the world tour that whole cast are also going to on polin season that is but it’s great they all deserve to get their shine for working so hard for BT

A lesser miserable loser fandom kanthony Kate Simone fans would had a problem with these shoots if this was their season like they did when charithra literally had 1 cover and 1 group cover shoot with Nicola Claudia Luke I’m honestly so shocked they aren’t crying blood from their eyes or dragging Bridgerton team Netflix literally even Nicola Luke Polin or Charithra by the scalp since that’s who they blame for everything that’s happened ever in that show or that season and to their fav😂with how she’s other cast Luke T getting more then SA now and it’s not even their season I wonder why they aren’t?

But not us polin stans we just happy all the other cast are all getting such good treatment too because it’s an assembly show and if one cast member does good the whole show our favs included do/does too even if it’s our polin season thats on not being insecure sad losers kanthony Kate Simone Ashely stans can’t sadly relate

[rafecameronsslxt]

How Come

Polo Benavent x Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Smut and hair pulling

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Does anyone even watch Elite anymore? This was really short also, should've been working on my obx fan fictions, but didn't. oops.

Honestly don't expect much from this either, but like I'm in love with this man.

His bright blue eyes laid on my vibrant hazel ones like I was the only thing in the world despite Polo always seeming to hate me, but it went both ways. I don’t think I could ever hate someone like Polo, a caring and dependable person. It wasn’t always like this; Tension and heartache lingered between each other, which made our friends uncomfortable at moments.

   At one point, this beautiful man stood beside me. Not in front of me or across while his eyes wandered over my body. The memories of that awful night start to taint this evening, full of laughs and all of us being humane to one another for once. 

   I was dancing with Marina, our bodies swaying to the beat, while Guzmán, our brother, was having drinks with Ander and Polo. Sometimes I didn’t understand how Polo or Guzmán had still been friends after Guzman decided Polo needed a good beating for hurting me. Polo had a swollen eye and approached a broken nose after going to a doctor forced by his parents. My parents had a fit, blaming the fight on me and lecturing me about how this fight could ruin our reputation when no one besides Sam had been there. 

   Marina noticed my energy shift. “A, this is our night, not his to ruin, come on. lighten up.” My sister's radiant smile could cheer anyone up, and it did. She gave me hope with her bright red hair, which was different from any other in our family, and occasionally concerned me. I nodded my head as she took my hands, spun me around and had me giggling again. It never took much to cheer me up when it came to my sister. She just knew the right buttons to push.

   After an hour of chatting and dancing with my friends, I decided to freshen up in my bathroom, away from everyone as I started feeling suffocated. 

   I adorned my face with powder and stared at myself for a minute. I wore a champagne satin silk dress with a cowl neckline, which fit perfectly and cost hundreds, yet I didn’t feel happy. As an elite teenager, drama surrounded me, couldn’t stay away. He wouldn’t stay away, either.

   “How come you always run away?” Polo’s voice rings throughout my room as if the timing couldn’t be worse. “Maybe you shouldn’t follow me. It gets creepy after a while, Polo.” My tone is cold, like his stare. Polo always had a callous gaze that scared me, but after knowing him, I stopped caring.

  He analyzes me for a moment. His eyes landed on my lips and then on me in general. 

   “What will it take? I miss you, I love you, and I’m sorry.” Polo is pleading with me yet again. “You have said sorry so many times, Polo. Just stop it.” I couldn’t look into his eyes with my hands in his. His lips delicately pressed to my hands and jawline, too close to my lips. I push him away. 

   A loud knock comes from the locked door. “Are you coming out anytime soon? Ander needs you.” Guzmán loudly says while trying to open the door. “Yes, I’ll be out in a minute.” With that answer, the other side goes quiet. 

   I look at Polo, but he quickly picks me up and lays me on the bed. His body hovers over mine. Polo kisses me. I can’t help but miss him, us. “I can’t do this.” I put my hands on his chest, stopping him. Polo sighs. His forehead presses to mine. “Just give me another chance, baby. I promise I’ll be different this time.” Polo flips us over so that I’m directly sitting on his crotch. I can feel how hard he is. A calculated move considering he knows I won’t leave, not this time. “Do anything you want to me. Fuck me until you're not sad.” His voice is raspy and a seductive whisper. 

   I start rolling my hips on his slowly. “Take your shirt off,” I order, and he obliges. I glide my hands over his stomach, missing his body that was supposed to be mine. I lean down and kiss him softly while his dick rubs against my clit, making me moan away from the kiss. 

   Right now, I didn’t want any more foreplay. I wanted only Polo. I unbuttoned his pants and threw his boxer briefs onto the hardwood floor. “Undress me.” Oh, how I've desired this moment.

   His soft hands slid down the silk straps, exposing my perky nipples. A little smirk falls onto his mouth as my dress slides off and pools to the ground.  His hands find their way, grabbing my breasts and rubbing my nipples between his fingers. I slide his dick inside me, fitting perfectly like we never broke up. 

   “You like this. Taking control, having me all to yourself.” Polo mumbles, sucking on my neck, leaving purple marks to show I’ll forever be his. I nod fucking myself onto him, and feel his hands grab my hips, helping me go quicker. Moans fall from my lips as Polo starts doing all the work, thrusting into me mercilessly. 

   I run my hands through his black hair and pull hard at the roots. A smile forms on his lips, and he starts grunting. “Oh my god, don’t stop!” My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I could feel euphoria washing over me. Polo’s thrusts get sloppier, and ropes of his cum cover my velvety walls. 

   I untangle my fingers from his hair, my lips part, and breathing heavily. Just before I get off Polo, he pulls me in for a long passionate kiss. I smile into the kiss, feeling like things might turn out well this time.