#maybe anger issues too. hence boxing

[brofightiscancelled]

fighting yowai....

[tarotenchantress]

Astro observations ptV Aye-Aye and the swan edition🦢🏹

DO NOT PLAGIARISE MY WORK🚫

All these observations are based on my personal experience.

By- tarotenchantress🧚��‍♀️

The following observations are based on my understanding of what placement may make one think that they are ugly, dont fit the "ideal" box, are always noticed for their looks, are criticised for their looks, have their worth attached to their looks, have people compare them/ rate them for their looks, feel that nothing they do makes them feel pretty, are treated differently for their appearance, are considered stupid because of their appearance, bear the brunt of others envy and projection because of their appearance and those who become vain in their beauty .

Aye-aye is a lemur that is associated with ugliness due to its appearance and swan, as we all know, is associated with beauty because of its appearance, hence the title🏹🤍

🦢 venus in hard aspects with saturn, saturn in venusian degrees of libra (7°,19°)and taurus(2°,14°,26°), venus in capricorn or aquarius.

[This placement may make you very critical of your appearance, it can also mean that to an extent you may nitpick on your features alot, feel like your face is not "balanced" enough or "proportionate enough", call yourself names and idk why the word gross came inmy my mind so maybe some of you are also doing that or do that. This placement is also extremely prone to hating on their body too specifically the hip areas may feel as if their ass is too flat or it are not "pretty". This placement also indicates growing into your features later in life. Some mught even hate their voice or feel uncomfortable listening to their voice. People with this placement may also have suppressed anger issues esp when people comment on their body as neither of these signs and planets are extremely vocal about their pain. Youmay also feel as if no one understands your pain or people tend to be extremelycold or uncaring towards your body issues. Some people may also force you to believe that you have "masculine" features and they maypick on it. You may feel as if people around you judge you alot for appearance and tend to withhold opportunities just cause of your appearance. This placement also indicates that you either got into makeup very early on orrr you got introduced to it way later. This placement to be honest also indicates that one might hate their nose or its bone structure and feel as if it has "ruined" their face and the proportionality. Cynicism may also arise when it comes to appearance. You guys remember that tiktok audio which went like "how old are you?" "Im 19" "you look older" "its not a compliment" yeahh it mught be some scene like that too. Ans i also feel that people may pick on your ass or hips or nose or ears or your throat or voice in general or you may do it. And you may also look into workouts specifically of glutes and to increase the lower hip area and may also hate singing or feel extremely insecure about it. They may get a lot hate from feminine energies or may feel as if women were far more critical of them. Stiff lower back too]

🦢 ascendant in hard aspects with saturn, venus, mars, ascendant in capricorn or capricorn degrees, aspecting 10th house.

[People with

Venus in hard aspect with ascendant may not even see their own beauty. Its almost as if they become so vain with idealising others and other body types esp hourglass figures that they forget about their own appearance and feel dejected. They may also feel extremely jealous if other women looking the way they idealise or may get upset. Venus also demands perfectionism and this placement indicates never being happy with you appearance. Almost as if there's always something to pick on, something out of place something to hate on. Especially the ass area, it may be a point of insecuriry for some.

Mars in hard aspects may always feel as if their body is not "soft" enough or on the contrary not "healthy" enough. They may also have a sensitive ir "red" skin. The undertone of their skin may be reddish too. They may feel as if they "look too boxy" may often idealise a body with abs and muscles or a more feminine body [not gender specific] and mayworkout just to get that look or on the contrary may hate their "manly look" and try to hide it and hate it being the focus of attention. They may also have a love hate relationship with the feminine side of themselves as they may try to show up as more aggressive or dominating or masculine. They may be very hard on their body. One may also be impatient. This placement is also an indicator that masculine energies or men may not have been the kindest towards you may have passed absurd comments on your bosy. Also indicates that youmay be someone who might get into physical fights which may scar your appearance in some way. Dw this doesnt have to be the case for all.

Ascendant in hard aspects with saturn may hate their skeletal system.may feel as if their bones are not strong enough. May feel insecure about their bones as they may be "sticking out" or "weirdly shaped" may also be on the skinnier end may have been picked on for being like that. Adults may be harsh on you since childhood for you appearance. This placement struggles to see beauty in everyday life, in themselves. Very prone to melancholic phases. May want to get surgery done but too scared of its process and effects and failures. Also idk how to say this, like, its not for everyone but you may have a "boney" ass or you may feel like you have a "boney" ass.. Im so sorry omg. Stretching js a muat with this placement as you may feel your back getting stiff. Lower back esp. You may also fear sex and have it later in life and intimacy too and you may feel robotic in sexual acts. May mean tgst you like to dress up more conservatively or your dressing sense may be on the formal mature end.

[Similar effects seen for the remaining. Cap rising, rising in cap degrees, aspecting 10th house]

I have ascendant □ saturn and i tell you what. i used have alot of acne on my forehead and i also had a very oily skin cause i was 13 and i ended up using a pumice stone on my forehead cause pain was the only way for it to go away��]

[Capricorn or aqua here may do the same, 10th house placements too]

🦢neptune aspecting ascendant and sun esp harsher aspects in 1st house.

You may not even understand how you look like. Like genuinely having no sense of how your body looks like. I have nept conj sun and i for the longest time had no concept of my own body type even today idk what it is. This placement indicate that you may fantasise alot about an ideal body type and may feel dejected if you dont achieve them or if someone tells you it is impossible, you cant handle it and will refuse to accept it. Delulu is the word yeah. Also sense of self may be weak here. Also very prone to falling for others words esp when they are related to their appearance. Blind to their own beauty.

🦢 pluto aspecting ascendant, venus, in libra, in taurus, in 7th house, in libra degrees of 7°,14°, taurus degrees of 2°,14°,26°, in 2nd house, aspecting 7th house, in 2nd house, in 1st house, in 8th house.

[ anything pluto touches becomes a point of obsession. Here pluto creates an intense need to transform. May make the native a bit obsessed with their appearance, become critical or simply wanting to keep working on it. May also make the native work on their appearance for sexual reasons and may fear being rejected sexually because of their body. May also have intimacy issues. People may be obsessed with your appearance and they may hate on you. People may view you in a sexual manner. Women may be more prone to picking on you. But the thing is,,,, this obsession is not always outright, it can be very secretive as pluto and 8th house also govern secrets. You may feel like covering up your body more and not wanting to be in the spotlight. Early knowledge of being sexualised and also introduced to sexual aspects very early on too. May bring out insecurities in others. You may be far more critical of your appearance . You may also be more critical of your ass and genitilia. They may be darker than the rest of your body which may make you insecure.

I have venus square pluto and i had already mentioned it my prev. Observation but i had people i didnt know sexualise me and i had a "friend" who told me that she was scared ill "take" her 🤡married crush🤡 away because of appearance. Yes. Married crush who i never spoke to or knew about before she started🤡 talking to me about him.

I also had another "friend" mock me for wearing makeup who i very quickly shut down by sharing some youtube makeup tutorials on her number and telling her to learn from them.]

🦢uranus aspecting ascendant harshly.

[You may love your appearance one day and hate it the next day. You may have features that stand out alot and " ruin the balance" in your face which is not true. You may also prioritise your mind over your body for most parts.]

🦢venus in aqua, cap, pisces, scorpio

[May make you critical, delulu and obsessive about your appearance.

I have pisces venus and i hate feet. Im sorry. Im not trying to kink shame but i hate my feet and others too. And i know another pisces venus who feels insecure when she looks at other people's feet. Esp women's feet. ]

🦢chiron aspecting venus, asc, 1st house, 7th house, 2nd house, in libra degrees, in taurus degrees, in libra, taurus, in aspecting 1st house, 2nd house, 7th house, 8th house.

[These placements may give pain in lower back areas, relationships that teach you a lesson, become more critical of your aptearance, biggest pain could come from appearance or romantic partners. Also your crushes may reject you or you may feel rejected by them. One of those placements where their crush goes "ewwww" when shipped with them. (Same can happen in saturn aspects too.)] Also back archs may be a pain in the ass for you. Idk why i said that. Intimacy may also be a huge pain for you you. You may fear intimacy and acts like sex.

🦢beauty asteroids in harsh aspects like aphrodite etc

May make a person insecure about their appearance and not see their beauty at all.

🦢nessus aspecting venus, 7th house 2nd house, in those houses, in libra degrees, in taurus degrees

Like i had said in previous obs, nessus is where tou are abused and where you abuse. It is where you get picked on. Your romantic partners may pick on you. They may also sexually pick on you.

🦢saturn in 4th house, in cancer, aspects to moon, in cancerian degres, libra degrees, taurus degres

May make a person fear "losing" their boobs, may make you critical of your boobs, also make you have issues with feelings and intimacy romantic and sexual moments. Love hate relationship with your boobs. May also create issues with femininity.

Like i have moon conj my saturn and i fear losing my boobs as i admire them the most but i also fear losing them if i lose weight and i also hate them sometimes cause i cant wear some tops without feeling like a young medieval woman with a needy baby who's husband has eloped with another woman and now she has to seduce an old man to get by. Omg.

🦢Venus in 6th house, 12th house, virgo venus, virgo rising

May make the native feel as if theyre not that pretty, or eye catching. It may make the person feel like people overlook them and ignore them or they are not remembered alot. May also make the native dress up more modestly or connservatively. May make the native feel bland. May make them seek perfectionism. May also feel the best when OTHERS compliment them and may dress up for public acceptance and approval.

I have it and there are days when i feel like a medieval maid. I also feel like i dont have features that make me unique or stand out. I feel bland. Like wheat.

Alsooo bonus obv i feel like 2nd house stellium or taurus stellium tends to make a person resemble a bull. Its their nose idk why.

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

n. interlude: anthony

the death of the patriarch of the bridgerton family was immensely sorrowful to the immediate relatives and close friends. but no one took it as painfully as anthony did. the grief it brought them is not a competition to who has it heavier, but in a different way, anthony had it bad.

he was there, at that exact moment, watching his father turn breathless, watching his mother cradle him. he was old enough. he was the eldest, yet felt so helpless.

and, he thought that maybe it will get better. perhaps, time does heal things. after draining all his tears at the last sight of his father, he was resolute—i will not give my family this kind of grief. i will not let anything to happen to them.

however, it was easier said than done. he did manage to keep the family intact and away from any issues so far, but he was not able to check on one member—himself. it was starting to show, that the cost of him being as great a viscount as his father was, is himself.

and so, he has chosen to stare longingly at nothing inside his study. today marks the first year of edmund's death, and anthony has chosen to remain in the comfort of his office, which was not offering much at all. their family invited the silvas and lady danbury for a dinner in honor of edmund.

as much as he wanted his peace, a seven-year-old child seems quite adamant to ruin it for him.

raine entered his study with the aim to drag him to dinner. she believed it was disrespectful of him to not be present to honor his father. but, as soon as she stepped foot in the room, it was dripping with despair.

"tony?" she called out with a small voice to the man sitting on the couch at the left side of the table, seemingly wary of awaking a sleeping bear.

she was not welcome, of course. anthony does not have it in himself to deal with her right now. nevertheless, she continued forward, utterly clueless of the sensitive and emotional state the man was currently in or utterly an annoying child.

when she was midway inside the study—too near to go out, too far to him—anthony spoke in a clear, monotone, and depressed voice, "go to your mother."

raine halted, beginning to get scared of the man before her. this is not the anthony she knew. the little silva chanted in her head that his anger is coming from the right place. hence, a thought entered her mind, pushing her feet forward.

perhaps, this is the anthony—the one she needs to get to know.

and so, she sat beside him, not speaking for quite the time. she felt as if she was on his place. and anthony? he sits on a very lonely throne. without any thought, she leaned her head on his shoulder and spoke softly.

"you can do this, tony. i know."

he could feel his heart tightening, breath hitching. he did not expect for her to utter such words. and maybe, he himself got to know another side of the child.

the young viscount extended his arm around her, hugging the little one. small whimpers can be heard from the man as he shut his eyes close. raine looked up to him by the sound, and seeing the man crumbling down beside her, she did not know what to do but follow his lead. she cried alongside him, without understanding anything but him.

and so, that is how the viscountess violet bridgerton found them as she went to bring dinner to her eldest, the young silva asleep on his lap and him caressing her hair.

there are indeed times when someone does not need shoulders—times that only arms can hold.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

"ben, lord silva is calling for you."

the twenty-year-old viscount called from inside their home, his younger brother coming immediately at the mention of the general.

he turned to anthony with confusion written on his face as the latter pushed him to keep walking towards their garden, "what? why?"

"i do not know." he subtly whispered in reply, tapping benedict in the back as signal to go on, "go to him."

as the younger bridgerton gets more and more nervous step by step, anthony has an idea of what all of this is about. he neared the table where both the families sat.

"ah, benedict," armand turned to him with a laugh and cheer in his voice, gesturing to the little eight-year-old, "my daughter thinks you are handsome."

at the mention of that, the bridgerton boy did not know what to say or do at all. the young girl, however, threw herself under the table at once, "papa!"

the viscountess silva slapped her husband's arm for putting their daughter in the spot, but certainly not without a laugh. anthony tapped his brother once again, followed by a slinging of his arm to his shoulders, as if gesturing that he has not said a word yet in reply.

benedict gave out a light cough first, regaining his composure as a wide smile made its way on his features, "oh, thank you, sir. i think loraine is quite pretty too."

anthony was sure the girl did not hear his brother's reply. she was so busy wanting to dug a hole for herself under the table that she seemed to have ignored the others.

a muffled voice from raine can be heard, "mother, is he away?"

her mother only laughed, not giving a straight answer just as her brother has taken it to himself to just drag the girl out.

"lance, stop!" raine fought her brother's and anthony's hands trying to grab her from the comfort under the table.

"do not be embarrassed, loraine. my son is shy too." violet spoke with a small chuckle beside her mother.

the eldest bridgerton smirked as he did a sole whistle, "ben's got an admirer."

for the first time in a while, anthony felt like they were really being a family again. he was genuinely happy that things are somehow starting to go back as they were before—which is why the young girl's rant fell on deaf ears as the man simply looked at them all with a warm smile.

"shut up, anthony!"

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the young viscount now finds himself in front of the young silva's doorstep just months after their gathering in the garden. and, all it took was just months for her mother to depart the living world.

"raine, come now. let's go." anthony has been trying to get the girl out for the past thirty minutes.

raine has locked herself in her room for three months now, after her mother's burial. everyone has tried to convince the young one out from time to time. but, now? she needs to step outside her room. today is her birthday—her ninth, to be exact.

sighing for the nth time, anthony tried to coax her once more, certain that the girl is listening despite the lack of noise from the inside, "ben is downstairs. we can just spend time by your garden."

his attempt proved to be successful as the knob turned and the door started to open, revealing a very defeated child.

she stepped out, eyes squinting at the sudden intensity of light, voice apparent with hoarseness, "i miss mama."

he bended down to her level, placing a palm on her cheek lightly as he smiled tightly, "i know you do. she would not have wanted for you to waste away in your room."

he was worried about her state, moreso when her lips started to quiver as she speak, "i need her."

honestly, anthony felt helpless once again. he does not know what he can do to offer the little girl comfort from losing a parent. suddenly, a thought entered his mind—were my siblings suffering this much too, yet i was too up in my own grief that i was not there for them?

"i need my father too. but, hey," he began, feeling that he could at the very least make up for those shortcomings to the girl in front of him, "perhaps, they have each other's backs now."

the young viscount has now realised that children are indeed not too young to understand lost, to understand grief. sorrows do not pick their target by age. and, oftentimes, they may come stronger to the young.

and so, anthony reassuringly smiled at her, "and we have each other's."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the two families have decided to have dinner at the silva's. it has been quite some time they did one, and it also serves as a welcoming dinner for the patriarch of the silva family. he was away for a year, doing his military duties.

after dinner, the two lone parents have decided to settle on the couch, catching up about things—things their children did not care about as they all dispersed in groups, doing their own activities.

anthony and raine have settled on the balcony. the bridgerton was first to arrive, but he could not push the girl away as she threatened to tell his mother he was smoking.

they sat by each other, directly on the floor, leaning on the wall. after exchanging banters, he exhaled the last smoke as he pocketed his cigar away, "why do you even like my brother so much?"

he wanted to gauge her eyes so much as the eleven-year-old silva rolled her eyes at him, "do not be a gossip."

"i am simply asking."

she gave out her mischievous smirk, "are you jealous?"

he glared at her before turning away, feigning indifference, "he can have all your attention."

he managed to hold his silence well for a couple of seconds, yet ultimately, he sighed as he turned back to her, curiosity dripping in his tone, "but really, why? you despise everyone, especially boys. you despise me."

raine raised her brow at him in jest, "everything there is to you is to be despised."

"you are full of hating bones in your body."

she replied at once, "as you are."

anthony opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again before speaking with disgust, "god, we are alike."

the young silva laughed at that, and it's safe to say that she agree, judging by the lack of denial from her.

"did you know that ben paints?" she asked out of the blue.

the viscount hummed in reply, "he draws here and there."

she looked up at the sky, quite full of stars tonight as she smiled warmly, "he painted my mother."

"ah," he looked at her, understanding her implications, "i did not know he is that good."

raine turned and stared directly in his eyes, "look at everyone around you for once, anthony. nothing bad is going to happen anymore. be with them at the present."

"i am here." he shrugged it off as he broke the eye-contact.

"your heart is not."

he turned to her with an incredulous look this time, "are you sure you are not viscountess silva?"

she grinned, starting to prompt herself up from sitting on the floor, "i am not because i doubt mother would slap you like this."

and she did. she slapped his arm purely to annoy him and ran as fast as she could, probably to the safety of her father.

"raine, you brat!"

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

it has been a year after the death of her brother. hence, both families are once again having their dinner in honor of the dead. at this point, by the amount of deaths the two families have gone through, the dinner is now a tradition.

"let's dance. lance will come alive if you mope around." anthony began, offering a hand in front of the pouting girl.

"i will mope around more then."

"he will not be human, but something similar to the horror stories of children."

raine glared at him, her annoyance starting to increase at the crude mention of her brother, "oh, shut up. do not talk about him like that."

"then do not mope around anymore."

he did not leave much to argue when he decided to simply grab the girl from her seat, stepping everywhere as francesca played the piece.

"heavens! you cannot dance even if a gun is pointed at your head, anthony."

the silva only danced with him once, and after it was done, she glared at the older man. as they all go deeper in the night, the rest of the family did not notice the lack of two presences in the drawing room.

the said two can now be found in a guest room, laughing and fighting each other—such an unusual combination. the fourteen-year-old girl snucked a whiskey, and now, both are giggling fools.

"you know, benedict is adamant on not marrying anyone as of yet. this is going to take years." anthony said as he placed his glass down after downing it.

raine was not even properly seated anymore, with herself so deep on the chair. if anthony was sober, he would have worried about her posture.

she stared to nothing in particular, inebriated herself as she replied, "the time will pass anyway."

the young silva was about to drink from her glass once again when two footsteps nearing them can be heard from the hallway.

"oh, fuck." the viscount was forced to sober up a bit, enough to hide the liquor as he seized the glass from raine's grasps.

he placed it under the bed immediately, his feet wobbling in doing so. he was able to sit back again on his chair just as the door opened.

"oh, and what do we have here?" colin raised a brow with a smirk, the smell of the room giving them away. that and the fact that anthony forgot about raine.

"the misery of first-borns!" she yelled in a sarcastic tone, making the man beside her want to slap himself so he can sober up entirely.

there might still be saving in this though, so he tried to play with it as well, yelling himself, "tragic!"

it did not help their case at all as benedict entered the room too and he immediately, physically recoiled when the smell hit his nostrils.

colin turned to the younger one, "you are not even a first-born."

anthony placed his face on his palms at the cluelessness of his brother, knowing entirely what is to follow.

raine let out a scoff, "i might as well have been. where is my father's first-born then? where is he now?"

yet, perhaps, anthony cannot really fault the young silva. after all, she was just a girl gulping a woman's grief.

benedict interjected between everyone's dramatics, "have you both been drinking?"

"only anthony." she said with a very intoxicated grin, and the eldest have never had a stronger urge to throw the girl than now because of her betrayal.

benedict was completely concerned about another thing though, "unchaperoned?"

colin chuckled at that, "since when did raine ever need a chaperone to spend time with any of us?"

the said girl placed a hand on her right ear, face grimacing by the loudness, "go away! anthony and i are talking about adult stuff."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

after the wedding and a very eventful season, the entire family has decided to spend a week at the aubrey hall before leaving them to have their honeymoon.

the seventeen-year-old silva finds herself looking at kate with a smile as they all play pall mall, "i have always told you I like kate."

on the other side of the table, anthony sighed, seeing through what she meant between the lines, "you are just like daphne."

"we were right, weren't we?" she grinned at him. her playful grin turning into a serene smile at the way he was looking at his wife.

"you love her so much." raine stated, not questioning, not prying. simply as if it was a fact.

"i do." anthony nodded and agreed without any trouble at all.

the young silva could not be happier for him. she knew the hardships he went through all these years, and to see him finally freeing himself, she was so happy for him.

"i hope a love like that comes for me too." she turned back to the rest of the family, kate winning the game it seems.

"it will," anthony reached for her hand across, squeezing it tightly to offer comfort, "in due time."

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw

[antialiasis]

Have you played Scarlet/Violet yet?

Playing it as we speak! I've done something like five badges, three Team Star bases and four Titans so far.

You did not technically ask for my thoughts but here is some rambling:

The game is absolutely janky as hell, but I've yet to experience any kind of crash, softlock, or major graphical glitch persisting for more than a couple seconds, and the overworld performance issues only very occasionally get significant enough to be properly disruptive, so all in all it hasn't really stopped me enjoying it. I am invested in Arven and his doggo and the Team Star bosses who all seem very pure actually. Also Koraidon is doggiest bikederg.

That said, it really is janky! I hope they do come out with a patch, though I'm keeping my expectations somewhat reserved with regards to how easy it would be to improve some of the performance stuff without some kind of major overhaul of the engine. Honestly the top of my list is fixing the PC; with my style of rotating teams (training every new Pokémon + my shinies + the Normal Tera Type Scyther I caught early on), I do a whole lot of opening my boxes, and the bizarre graphical jank that happens when you do is so weird. And whyyy on earth is loading in the Pokémon's simple 2D box sprites the laggiest thing in the entire game. What is even happening there, I want to understand.

I had seen some people praise it pre-release for making battles snappier, but that kind of made me expect more - there are still frequent several-second waits between messages in battle for little discernible reason, even while the Pokémon are just doing idle animations, and some abilities and moves just become really lengthy, e.g. Anger Shell insistently writing out messages and showing an animation for all five stats it's modifying every time my Klawf goes below 50% HP, or Bellibolt's Electromorphosis firing for every hit of every multi-hit move even though it only stores one charge. Definitely a thing where I feel like the game is deliberately choosing to show messages for at least a couple of seconds but it could really do with at least letting us press A to continue sooner.

As I've talked about before open-world games aren't really my thing generally, but I think the game has handled it well and I've been enjoying it more than expected, honestly. I like the three main plotlines sort of tugging you in a few different directions with a sense of purpose and investment behind each (well, less so for the gym storyline which so far is mostly just "Nemona really likes battling you guys"), and I've gotten to run around getting myself in trouble while horrendously underleveled, which I always enjoy. I've even managed to get into exploring a bit in the past few days; been running around some lower-leveled areas I never went to for the hell of it. This is not very remarkable for anyone else, I realize, but like, because I don't play these sorts of games my brain is not very used to navigating wide open 3D spaces in a video game where I only have a limited camera view to orient myself in, and I tend to just find it annoying, so the game must be doing something right for me to even want to. I never felt compelled to explore in PLA, for instance, just made a beeline for whatever the next objective was and maybe went a little out of my way to pick up an item I saw or whatever. That's how I started Scarlet, too (hence all the lower-leveled areas I never went to), but one way or another I got to the point of just wanting to get to the places I hadn't been on the map, which is a success.

I do miss having more building interiors and more interesting stuff in cities in general than "one billion identical sandwich shops that are just a menu", but the exteriors are pretty and they've spent some effort trying to give each city and gym some character, which is nice.

Also, after not finding any up to this point, I caught two shinies today, a Psyduck and a Murkrow, which is very impressive for me but still not a record since there was that one bizarre time I somehow got three shinies in PLA in like twenty minutes.

All in all, it's a flawed game but I'm having lots of fun with it and enjoying the storylines so far. It does feel quite lovingly made, just clearly short on time to fully polish it all the way.

[sweettodo]

eren jaeger x reader.

includes : smut, college au, bad plot, enemies to lovers-ish, hate sex, mention of anal play, swearing.

wc : 3k.

thank you for 700 followers ! and since it was just mr. jaeger’s bday, why not a little fic ?

—

"This is your fault, you shouldn't have let the door shut, the door gets jammed."

"How was I supposed to know?" he replies coolly, you shove past him, frantically grabbing the doorknob and turning it, back and forth. It was no use, the old wooden door was jammed tight into the frame, not even he could get it to budge.

"Are you hard of hearing?"

"Out of all people, I get stuck in a dingy bedroom with you."

—

It wasn't the best. It was border-line decrepit, all sorts of unkempt; but admittedly, it was all you and your friends could afford.

Doing what you could to stay afloat with rent, not to mention your thousands of dollars in college debt, you couldn't necessarily afford to stay on campus; so, you sought out any possible preventative strategy not to go back home, what any adolescent college student would do.

"Well, it's homey... I guess?" Connie announces, cautiously seating a box on the ground.

Beside him, Jean wipes his forehead, "are we getting paid for this?" he questions.

You raise an eyebrow, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want."

"Thanks, boys, that's enough for now, hungry?" Sasha smiles, placing a pizza box on the kitchen counter.

Truly, the house wasn't that bad, though there were some problems like any old home, like the creaky floorboards which dipped downwards in some areas of the house, or the shudders Jean had to nail back into place, or maybe that one non-working bathroom.

Yes, there were some issues, and you knew one thing for sure.

Do not close your bedroom door.

It jammed, and it jammed easily, which you found out the hard way when you had to have your two roomies pry the door open the previous day, hence the rock from outside being positioned to stop the door from closing entirely.

You all sit on the floor in the living room, devouring pizza and drinking as you all conversed and laughed.

While Connie is getting up to pour himself another drink, there's a knock on the door, "oh, finally- thought he was gonna bail on us!"

Connie quickly places his cup down and jogs to the front door, all eyes follow him.

"Eren!"

"What took you all day? Connie and I did practically everything!" Jean complains. Your face heats, fists clenching.

"I did not invite him." You grit, Mikasa glancing at you, concerned.

"Calm down, he's more man-power."

"We've done so much without him, why does he even bother?"

Eren dismisses your complaining, he sits down and grabs a piece of pizza, "it's not like a chose to come here, Mikasa wanted me to."

Your eyes drill into Mikasa's skull, she knew how you felt about him, and she knows how he feels about you. She brushes off your daggers.

"I'm not here to help you," he proceeds, "you wouldn't catch me dead."

"Well, while Jean and I run to the store to get more nails, how 'bout you help the girls?" Connie says, ignoring Eren's last remark.

"I don't need his help, I'm okay on my own."

"Y/n- take his help." Sasha nudges, "free labor."

Your perspective of Eren was nothing short of revulsion, his only conversation piece is how many women he's slept with, how he struts around like he owns the place, he's quite contemptuous, selfish, and arrogant.

He felt similar towards you, often the first one to ruin his day. The way you were so prideful, he too thought you were arrogant, he hated how you made him feel inferior, you were a challenge- you both were complacent and it drove him fucking nuts, as did you.

Standing from the floor, you brush your hands on your shorts, "I'll be in my room," you mutter, trudging up the stairs.

"You outta' help her, Eren," Sasha says, watching you walk up the stairs, "please."

The brunette shakes his head, "hell fuckin' no."

"Eren," Mikasa speaks lowly, her tone compelling, he rolls his eyes.

Picking up the screwdriver from the floor, pushing your hair out of your face, you get down on your knees and lift the bottom half of your bed frame, the little screw in your empty hand, you groan.

"Need a little help?"

Your head snaps around, "get out of my room, now."

"I thought you were this rough-tough- independent woman?" he ridicules.

You ignore him, "can't even put a bed together, how pitiful."

He steps closer, leaning against the door in your room, which was propped against the wall with the rock, his arms crossed tightly against his chest, "get out of the way."

"No. Eren I got it."

"Just get up and let me do it."

"I'll ask Mikasa, she's stronger than you anyways."

"Give me a break, how about you swallow your pride for once, you can't do everything, y/n."

He scoffs, attempting to absorb the insult, "plus, she isn't here, she and Sasha left." Your eyes widen, feeling much more uncomfortable than moments before. You gently place the bed frame on the floor in front of your knees, sighing, "let me do it-"

He slowly stands from his position, his foot knocking the rock out of place as he leans off the door following behind him, as he steps further into the room, you leap towards the shutting door.

"Eren! The fucking door!" you cry, seeing it shut mere inches from your grasp, "it doesn't open from the inside!" you shout, scrambling to your feet, Eren quickly turns, his hands landing against the old wood as he tries to pull it open, but it was too late.

"This is your fault, you shouldn't have let the door shut, the door gets jammed."

"How was I supposed to know?" he replies coolly, you shove past him, frantically grabbing the doorknob and turning it, back and forth. It was no use, the old wooden door was jammed tight into the frame, not even he could get it to budge.

"Are you hard of hearing?"

"Out of all people, I get stuck in a dingy bedroom with you."

"Spare me your kind words, Jaeger." You grumble.

"Where's your phone? Call Mikasa or Jean." Eren pats his pockets, in search of his phone.

"It's downstairs- my phone."

"So is mine," he sighs, sticking his hands in his pockets, "aren't I lucky; stuck in a room with a prissy bitch."

"Do you like making me mad, Eren? Because I'm not one of your hoes you can insult and get away with it." Gritting your teeth, he smiles cheekily, God you can't fucking stand him.

He remains silent, while tensions rise within the walls of your room, avoiding his eyes, you uncomfortably shuffle your feet, looking at the wood flooring beneath you, Eren is beside you, pacing, "I'll break the fucking thing down."

"You better not. Or else you're paying for it."

"I'm not paying for shit," he contends, "it's your shitty house, your shitty door, my shitty luck.”

You face him, he rolls his eyes, "if you break my door, Jaeger..." you threaten, sticking your index finger in his face.

"What are you gonna do? Y/n?"

You cross your arms, he shrugs and turns around on his heels, grabbing the doorknob and trying to pry the door open, he steps back and cracks his knuckles, "Eren, don't you fucking do it." You grab him by the back of his shirt, he stops.

"What are you gonna do?" he leans down to meet your height, tilting his head, "gonna punish me?"

You gulp, "how about I fix your bed while I'm here, since I'm so nice."

"No." You spit, "I'll do it, you stay in the corner and shut up." Pushing him away, but he stands still, a smug look still on his face.

"Why be so difficult?"

"Why do you always need the last word?" anger seething within you, little pieces of hair falling from the loose bun the hair tie he had holding back his bangs, you looked in his eyes, just waiting for him to speak.

"Do you like being stubborn?" Eren steps closer, as a result, you're stepping backward, and soon he figuratively has you backed into a corner.

Eren returns the glare, your heart thumping out of your chest, throat dry and closing by every second he kept his brutal eyes on yours.

You swallow, "always trying to make me mad, right?"

"Not everything is about you, Jaeger."

"No, but it is about you though," he hums, "don't you want me to shut up? How about you try to shut me up- since it's always about you."

You hadn't picked up on the sudden rush of adrenaline that pumped into your veins, which made you - quite literally - want to crumble, but you remained dominant. His rather vibrant eyes were tough ones to overpower, you guys just stood there, trying to wield your dominance over the other.

You two were power-hungry.

Eren on the other hand was trying like hell to prevail calm, you made him so mad, made him fucking furious, he contemplated leaping out of the second-story window, though one thing was keeping his feet grounded, looming over you.

And that was defeating you.

"I reckon you have more of a problem with me rather than the other way ‘round, you don't like it when I argue with you, Eren?" you teasingly pout, snickering in his face.

His eyes are low, seductive even, you had never seen him in this light, he looked restless, but he was undoubtedly annoyed.

It's his turn to smile, his fingers snaking around your wrist, pulling you down onto the mattress which lacked pillows, sheets, and a headboard.

You comply, his fingers anchoring into the back of your hair, pulling your head back, your neck training, “you gonna shut me up? Y/n?" you're speechless, seems as if he beat you to this little game.

“You piss me off. Jaeger.” You sneer, he leans down, face inches from your own.

“Yeah? I make you mad?” he purrs, dipping his head down towards your neck and pressing his lips against your ear lobe, chills erupt on every inch of your body.

You're left speechless once again, breathless as his hand slips down the curve of your waist, up to your thigh, stopping at your knee, “yeah... You do.”

He uses your knee to push your legs onto the bed, his hand guiding you, he swiftly gets on the bed, back against the wall; placing his palm on the back of your neck, pulling you between his legs, trapping you as he's kissing you firmly.

You're taken aback, but return the kiss, his soft lips colliding with yours, he tasted amazing, but you wouldn't admit that to him.

As if the gates had finally bursted open, your motions are picking up speed, he’s fiercely pulling at your shorts and without a second thought, you're rushing to tug his shirt over his head, giving hardly a second for air before you're kissing the man again.

What’s gotten into you?

You adjust so he can pull your shorts over your knees, flinging them across the room, your hands wandering up and down his chest, feeling his toned stomach beneath your fingers.

His big hands are grabbing you by the back of the thighs, pulling you closer to him so he can easily pin your back to the bed. With a huff, he kisses further down your neck, his lips tickling your skin as he begins to lift the thin shirt towards your chest, kissing down your stomach.

Eren can't take it anymore, all that was going through his mind was how soft your skin was, how good you smelled, the way he felt you shiver under him when he kisses the sweet spot on the side of your neck.

He uses the pad of his thumb to press against your damp panties, you gasp, his thumb locating your clit instantly and applying pressure on the swollen nub.

“Stop teasing, Eren.”

He smirks, slowly applying little circles over the thin undergarments, pinning one thigh down at the same time, he watches your face scrunch.

He leans down between your legs to kiss you again, pulling down his jeans in the meantime, you feel his erection through his boxers, pressing against the crevis between your thigh and cunt.

He sits up, yanking down your panties along with his boxers, your eyes nearly fall out of your head, catching a glimpse at the sheer size of the man.

He spits in his palm, messily stroking his cock a few times before making sure your leg is secure on his shoulder.

No words needed to be spoken- no conversation could be made at the fact things were moving so fast, similar to hungry animals, like a switch flipped and here you two were, soaking for a man you despised.

His tip slips up and down towards your entrance, repeatedly teasing you against your folds with his throbbing tip.

Finally, he gradually slips past your entrance, his head rolls back, body virtually falling weak as he soaks in those spongy tight walls, sucking him in immediately, “fuck,” is all he can sputter out, taking his time to seep deeper inside you.

He stretches you out, Eren’s veins which were wrapped around the base of his cock pressing against your electrified nerves, your back arching, quietly moaning as he eventually stuffs you with as much as you can take.

“You hate me? This pussy sure doesn't.” he grunts, retreating before rocking his hips back against you.

Your leg drops from his shoulder, “on your hands and knees, now.” he demands- not having to tell you twice, he’s quickly grabbing you, and with ease, you're now on all fours, exposed from the waist down, Eren’s hands spreading you open, pulling your ass apart so he can get the perfect view of his cock fucking into you.

This gives Eren the chance to now fit his whole length into you, crying out into the bare mattress, feeling his tip stab against the entrance of your cervix.

He pulls out, one hand steadying your waist and the other holding your ass, “such a tight cunt, can't even fit it all.”

Eren splits you open, thrusting into you while simultaneously pulling your hips against his, skin slapping, the both of you moaning as you're already releasing cream all over his cock.

You feel his thumb caress the skin around the valley of your ass, “such a pretty little hole, want me to fill this one too?”

With no hesitation, you're crying out a sloppy mantra of ‘yes’, and he follows your decrees, his thumb slipping past your unoccupied hole.

You instantly clench around him, the pressure of another hole being stuffed.

Nearing another orgasm, he ruts his hips against your thighs, seeing white, your stomach tightens, body attempting to escape the harsh pressure, unraveling from the arch you were trying hard to maintain.

“Again?” Eren’s amazed at the sight, your cum seeping from your pussy, soaking the little patch of curly hair above his cock, down your thighs and onto the mattress, your leg quivering as he spares you no mercy, shamelessly fucking into you.

He holds your hips steady, “Eren, s’ big, I can't-”

“Can't what? Can't take it? I thought you were such a strong girl?” he taunts, cruelly rutting into you.

You're drooling, tears falling down your face as he fucks you senseless, “fuck you,” you mewl, he slows, but still keeps up his strong and stabbing thrusts, your body still jolting every time his cock hits your cervix.

“Fuck-in’ hate you, hate you s’much.”

“Yeah? You hate me? But look at you,” he hooks his thumb deeper into your asshole, “you’re crying for more.” You wail, gasping for air, you craved more, the way his hips knocked against your ass, sending shock waves throughout your body.

“I think I love this sloppy little pussy, too bad you're such a bitch.”

He grabs you by the roots of your hair, fingers hooking and balling your hair into a tight fist, pulling you upwards, gasping for air, “Eren-” you moan, balls slapping against your slick folds and raw clit.

His thrust becomes more sporadic, nearing climax, he savors your warm and squeezing walls before you hear him hiss loudly, his head falling back, eyes screwing shut as he's dumping a load into your abused and stretched little pussy.

“Such a good cunt for an annoying bitch.” He mumbles.

Eren rocks his hips into you, making sure your cunt is sucking and every ounce of his seed is emptied from his cock.

He swears, softening cock slipping out of you as he quickly drops down onto the bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead, you're barely able to flip over, holes still twitching.

All you two can manage to do is catch your breath, the air knocked out of both of you, his seed mixed with your own still oozing out of your cunt, and onto the bed.

He sits up, chest still quickly rising and falling before he's moving off the bed and throwing his clothes on, throwing you your shorts, “get up so it looks like we did something productive,” your head in the clouds, you try to put your shorts on, he sees you and mutters indecent things under his breath, “what? Did I fuck you stupid or something?” you stand off the bed, and he quickly lifts the bed frame off the floor and pops the long screw in.

You peek out the window, the sky a dark milky blue- and to your surprise, there are your friends’ cars.

“Connie, you owe me twenty bucks!”

“Eren, I think they're already home.” You mumble, pulling open the window to get some air before walking back towards the door of your bedroom, pounding on the door, “open the door for me please!”

You give it a few moments, standing there in a daze- legs trembling.

You try to maintain the steadiness of your legs before someone struggles to push the door in, essentially un-jamming the door. Jean is there, with a clown-like grin on his face, Eren looks at him and groans, shaking his head before Jean begins to speak.

[turtle-go-brrrr]

General bayverse headcanons part 2

Splinter

A very light sleeper

Anytime something happens in the lair, he knows

He knows so many of his son’s secrets but act as if he didn’t to protect their feelings

Like that one time he saw Leo flex in front of his mirror (he never did it again because ‘what if it was Raph or Mikey’)

Or that one time he went to ask Donnie a question and realized too late he was having some... alone time... and Donnie tried to play it off to save what was left of his dignity: “haha no I’m not doing anything, I’m fine, how can I help you?” but left a tab open

Let’s just say Splinter knows way more about his sons than he wish he did

He feels honored every time one of them, or hell, April or Casey, come to him for advice or just to vent

He’s jsut so happy to know they trust him

He loves watching movies with them

Doesn’t really understand pop culture but is thrilled when they take the time to explain it to him anyway

He keeps every single drawing Mikey ever made him, he has multiple boxes of them and he keeps his favorite in his room

It takes so much space, but they’re really important to him

Raph made him a really soft scarf that he wears every time they go to the surface (it reassures him)

He also has a sweater and a blanket, and he loves bragging about them: “Oh, this? Yes, my son made it for me :) Isn’t he talented :)”

He finds Donnie’s smarts both impressive and intimidating

Sometimes he’s scared he will never truly understand him or that he won’t have anything else to teach him

But then Donnie comes to him when he can’t sleep or had a nightmare, and he feels warm inside

He’s really scared for Leo

He has so much pressure on his shoulder and so many responsabilities, he’s terrified he will break someday

But Leo knows he can count on his family to support him if anything turns sour and is learning to open up (thanks to Splinter)

All in all, he’s the proudest dad there could be and definitely bragged and showed embarassing memories to April and Casey when they joined the mutants

His favorite animal is the canary

April

Mom Friend ™ 

She’s the one to bring them snacks or useless trinkets they might like

Leo thinks it’s stupid and they should hoard that kind of things

(he does anyway)

She’s also the one to bring medical supplies to the lair when they’re getting short on them

She knows many people because of her job, and comes so often to the pharmacy that the people who work her eknow her and know to not ask too many questions

She doesn’t care about the sight of blood but the smell makes her sick

She still follows Splinter’s instruction when doing stitches and she took a few first aid courses with Casey

She’s the one who takes care of the biggest bugs of the lair

She’s also the one they all go to when they have an embarrassing question to ask (the kind of stuff you’re too embarrassed to ask one of your parents, no matter how close you are)

Doesn’t really listen to anyone, really

Except maybe Splinter from time to time

But like, if she wants to investigate something messy or dangerous, she won’t let anyone stop her

She won’t run straight into danger, she’s not stupid, but she’s not gonna back off just because it might be dangerous

“Okay, April, I’m sorry but you’ll have to sit this one out, it’s way too dangerous for a hum-” “She’s already inside”

 She’s brave like that <3

The best at Just Dance

Even beat Raph from time to time

She has a terrible singing voice tho and loves to scream-sing just because she knows it drives Leo crazy

Sometimes will get picked up by one of the boys and just acts as if nothing hapened and keep talking about whatever the conversation was while being carried around everywhere

Speaks 3 other languages to varying degrees of fluentness: Spanish (fluent), French (still learning but she’s getting there), Arabic (beginner)

She knows insults in a lot of other languages tho (you know, just in case ;) )

The only one who doesn’t pull pranks on Casey (she takes pity on him and he gives her kisses when she takes his side so win-win)

Her favorite animal is the fox

Casey

Pray for him

He’s so fed up with their sibling nonsense

He’s always in the middle of their fights and he’s tired of this

But he’s even more tired of being the victim of their endless pranks (especially Raph and Mikey)

The payback is worth it tho

Surprisingly good with kids

Especially troubled kids (he used to be one, so he knows what to say to help them)

Also really found of small animals

Unlike Mikey who talks to them as equals, Casey baby talks and it’s both adorable and kind of silly

He’s well known in most of the rescue centers of the city because he always brings in stray animals here

Also volunteer in some of them from time to time

He’s really conflicted because of all of the horrible things othe cops do  and he often wants to quit because of that

But if he leaves, he knows no one will try to make a change

He believes he can make things right and tries his best to callout his collegues when they say or do fucked up things

Also completely understand all the hate against cops, and don’t hesitate to let everyone know it’s justified when his colleagues try to play the victim

Despite his anger issues he tries to keep a level head when on the job

He wants to be a good cop, but being a good person is even more important (and almost got him fired multiple times, the only thing keeping him from that being his connection to Chief Vincent)

This is why he’s also doing his vigilante stuff at night

He knows that sometimes, the law won’t protect the most vulnerable people

But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t

Once accidentally cut himself on the left with a piece of glass

He broke a glass jar, cleaned it up but forgot one little piece, and later stepped on it

It didn’t cut his foot, but he felt something under it and tried to get it off by rubbing his foot against his leg

Hence the stupid cut

Most of his scars aren’t really from his numerous fights, they’re just stupid injuries like that

His favorite animal is the cheetah

[icyllic]

Path of Destruction | JEON JUNGKOOK

PAIRING: Jungkook x Reader

GENRE: Drama, Angst (maybe???), Thriller

WARNINGS: Stalking, obsession, swearing, a little dirty talk & thoughts

WORD COUNT: 2635

*note: ↑ i came across this video and saw this comment by boogieedits (credits to parkchimn & boogieedits for the inspiration! 😍) and felt inspired by this wonderful plot! i’m inspired by the amazing video edit too! <3 i decided to give it a try and welp- truthfully i’m having writer’s block with my Full of Stars series that i might wanna take a break from it for a while until i figured what the next episode’s plot would be. for now, let’s enjoy this oneshot! 🥰 (extra note: several changes were made in this story and yes, the nickname might be a little cringy but i couldn’t think of a better pet name, so....bear with it, i guess 😅😂 also, Y/N’s angered replies are intended to have typos. i purposely did the typos in her texts bcs she was angry af :3)

The night was feeling empty. The streets were quiet and you had no idea where you were heading. You couldn’t believe that you actually managed to get out from your best friend, Suzie’s party that was filled with a lot of her drunken friends and thank God you successfully escaped, even though right now you were feeling a little tipsy due to the amount of alcohol you consumed earlier.

“Fucking Suzie,” you mumbled as you walked home. “telling me it was just a small party and she lied! Who would lie to their own friends?!” You have the habit of talking to yourself if you feel alone and that was what you were feeling right now, so alone in the streets and you were clueless. You felt the need to cry but what’s the whole point? No one was here to save you even if you did.

You were sure you weren’t dreaming or hallucinating at all but you heard footsteps were following you. As you turned around, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, seeing as there was no one. When you turned around to walk again, the footsteps were heard. “HEY!” you yelled as you aggressively turned around. “don’t you dare follow me or I wouldn’t hesitate to call the cops!” You rolled your eyes in annoyance, mumbling to yourself again to make the uneasy feeling go away.

As you finally arrived home, you were struggling to grab the keys to unlock the door. At this very moment, the keys were tricking you; purposely tangling themselves with your pocket. “Are you kidding me?! I wanna get inside, you stupid keys!” You widened your eyes when you saw your older sister opening the door for you. How was she still awake at 2 a.m.?

“You look like a horrible mess.” Michelle commented, and you scoffed while pushing her away from the door as you went inside. 

“Why are you still even awake anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” You were shaking your head while shutting your eyes to avoid that tipsy feeling.

“How can I sleep when I know my little sister wasn’t home yet? I was worried sick, you moronic bitch.” She shook her head, feeling disappointed with how you acted right now. 

You were feeling sleepy and tired, so you decided to ignore her and went upstairs. Before you went to your room, you heard your sister yelling, “Yeah, go ahead and ignore me just like you always do to avoid conversations with me! I’ve had enough of babysitting you, Y/N! You’re so horrible!” You slammed the door before hearing any more of her complains. 

Despite feeling so tired, you couldn’t sleep at all. You took the time to stare up at the ceiling instead, filling your head with numerous thoughts. But the thoughts stopped as you heard a Ding! on your phone. You read the texts and to your surprise, it was from an unknown number. 

unknown [now]: sweet dreams, twinkle toes

unknown [now]: it took me nearly four years to pluck up the courage to text you

unknown [now]: and i can’t lie, i’m having butterflies 

unknown [now]: you don’t know how many times i’ve dreamed of touching you

unknown [now]: by the way, go take a shower before you sleep 🌹

“What the hell?” You got up quick and scanned the whole area in your room, worrying that person who texted you might be in there. Hiding under your bed, maybe? You didn’t know whether to text this person back or not, or to block him but if you block him now, how would you know where he got your number from? ... or how would you know whether this person was a male or a female? So you decided to just leave it be for a while and reply this unknown person’s texts tomorrow. After this dreamland taking over your world, you were hoping that these texts were just all hallucinations due to tiredness. 

••••••

....except that they were not hallucinations at all. You started to feel panic when you saw the messages were still there in your message box. Now it was your turn to build the courage to reply this person back. 

you [now]: Who are you and how did you get my number?

Anxiety started to form inside you. You were supposed to run some errands today but with the situation you were facing right now, you were having doubts whether it was safe to go out there or not.

Your daydream of thoughts stopped when Michelle walked in to your room. “Y/N?” You raised your head up to look at her. “you feeling better now?”

You nodded, feeling hesitated as you knew that answer wasn’t true at all. You weren’t feeling any better, even after last night for being a little drunk but with this stalker texting you??? A whole new level of creepy started to scare you. You kept wondering how on Earth this person got your number. 

“I baked you some cookies, just in case you were hungry and um,” she paused for a while. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night. I didn’t mean to.”

These words shocked you. Her apology made you give her a look of astonishment. You and Michelle have been through it all; dramas over boys, arguing over little things and never once in your life you ever heard her saying sorry to you. This was so new, she finally apologized to you for the first time in her 25 years of living. 

“I’m sorry for being an irresponsible bitch, Michelle. I didn’t mean it too.” She shook her head while smiling, walking towards you and gave you a hug to comfort you. Ding! And this person appeared again, stopping you from hugging your sister. 

“Whoa, who’s texting you at an exact 8 a.m.?” Michelle teased while wiggling her eyebrows. You chuckled at her silly attitude, although this wasn’t supposed to be a happy situation at all. You were already feeling terrified as curiosity started filling itself in you, wondering what that person’s text might be.

“Probably just Suzie wanting to apologize too for being a lying turd.” You shrugged it off, chuckling alongside your sister. Michelle then walked out and you quickly locked the door, opening the stalker’s message. 

unknown [3m ago]: you’ll know soon enough, twinkle toes 🥰

Twinkle toes??? Who the fuck does this person think he or she is? Calling me twinkle-fucking-toes? Your thoughts started to annoy you right now. You felt the need to slam something out of frustration, but you weren’t feeling like it anymore. You were still feeling scared because of this whole situation. 

••••••

“Class dismissed!” Mr. Peterson announced when the bell rang. The whole Math class felt like a living nightmare. You were feeling sleepy the whole time but your attention was drifted off somewhere else. 

When you walked outside the classroom to pack your stuff in your locker, you were stopped by Adrian. Adrian, the guy you knew had a crush on you since sophomore year. He was indeed cute; shaggy hair that really matched with his bright, green eyes and had a very nice personality that could make every girl fall in love with him. Unfortunately for Adrian, you weren’t one of those girls. 

You’ve been taking the time to appreciate and love yourself for several years now. Your last relationship ended because that asshole cheated on and lied to you a lot of times, leading you to have trust issues and hence the reason why you didn’t wanna give Adrian a chance too. But Adrian, being a nice guy he was, stated that he’d wait for you no matter how long it might take. 

“I brought your favorite snacks, Y/N. I hope we can eat lunch together today.” Adrian showed you your favorite snacks that were hidden in his brown bag. You softly smiled at how thoughtful Adrian really was. 

“Thanks, Adrian. But um, I don’t think I wanna eat lunch today. I might just head home this afternoon. I’m not up for afternoon classes.” You felt bad for lying to him. Truthfully, you just wanted to investigate more about this stalker of yours.

His face was sad, but he seemed to understand. “Oh, okay.. are you okay, Y/N? You don’t look okay.” His voice was recognized with genuine concern.

“I’m having headache, that’s all. I need rest.” You scratched the back of your neck, feeling this conversation becoming awkward already. You were uncomfortable, your negative thoughts made you feel like this was an uncomfortable conversation to participate in. 

Adrian nodded as he understood why, so he patted your back gently. You didn’t see it wrong, though. He wanted to kiss your forehead, but hesitant to do so since he knew that might be wrong. It was because he knew you didn’t feel the same for him. 

••••••

{8.47 p.m. with Adrian walking in the streets alone}

Adrian was listening to music on his phone as he was on his way home from his friend’s house. But eventually stopped when he felt a sudden presence behind him. He turned around and it wasn’t there anymore. He shrugged it off, thinking it might have only been his imagination. 

When he was singing along with the song he was listening to, the footsteps were closer and closer and suddenly, two strong hands grabbed Adrian’s hair and pulling him to the ground, kicking him hard and punching him numerous times. 

This unknown person who punched Adrian was wearing a black mask, a black hoodie and ripped jeans that matched with a pair of motorcycle boots. Despite wearing a mask, his eyes sent deep, horrendous message. “If you ever touch Y/N again, I’ll make sure to have all of your bones broken so you can’t do anything in life anymore,” he aggressively grabbed Adrian’s collar this time. “Y/N is mine and mine alone. Don’t you fucking dare come near her.” He released it roughly, spitting on the spot of the ground next to Adrian and leaving him alone as he walked away. It was an unfortunate night for Adrian, no one was there to rescue him and call for help.

••••••

{10.11 p.m. in your room}

Ding! You groaned, knowing whose message this was from. You rolled your eyes as you read the person’s texts. 

unknown [now]: i’m feeling so happy right now

unknown [now]: you have no idea how happy i really am 🥰

You shook your head and scoffed whilst reading them. Who even decided to care whether this unknown person was happy or not? Definitely not you.

you [now]: Lmao do I even care if you’re happy or not though? All I know is that you’re crazy

Ding!

unknown [now]: i am crazy indeed

unknown [now]: crazy about you

You groaned in annoyance at this unknown person’s response, not wanting to reply anymore. But then as you were about to place your phone on your side table, there was another notification from that person.

unknown [now]: i’m happy because soon enough, i’ll have you in my arms. no one’s gonna rescue you from me 

“What the absolute fuck?” you got up and this time feeling so angry to the point you were having typos as you typed your words in all capital letters.

you [now]: GO FUCK YOURSELF WHOSVER YOU ARE, QUIT BUGFING

ME!! 

you [now]: I’M GONNA BLOCK YOU NOW, YOU CNT DO THIS TO ME

Heaving a sigh, you grabbed a pillow and stuffed it on your face, screaming as loud as you intended. 

Ding!

unknown [now]: you can try blocking me

unknown [now]: but i have a lot more phones that i’ve stolen and your number is saved in every phone i keep 

unknown [now]: like i said, twinkle toes. no one’s gonna rescue you and take you away from me 😉

This time as your courage was already built, you dialed this person’s number but they quickly rejected your call. You tried again and you got the same result; your call was rejected.

you [now]: What’s the matter, huh? No balls to answer my call???

unknown [now]: i’m not going to make you hear my voice yet, princess. where’s the fun in that? 

unknown [now]: i’m saving it for our date soon

you [now]: Screw you, you fucking creep

unknown [now]: damn, say that again 

you [now]: FUCKING SCREW YOU!

unknown [now]: i’d love to be screwed by the one and only Y/N 😍

You were scared again. Not only this person secretly got your number, but he knew your name too! This was another whole new level of creepy! 

You shut your phone off, not wanting to take this conversation further with that creeper. You closed your eyes tightly to move yourself in your dreamland, and thankfully, it was successful.

••••••

{Meanwhile at someone’s place}

He watched you through the one of the screens in his room. You had no idea about this at all, but this stalker had already placed a few cameras in your house. One specific camera he always watched was outside the window of your room so he could have a clearer and nicer view of your sleeping face.

“My God, she’s so beautiful,” he said as he attentively watched you sleeping. He was playing with his fingers as his eagerness started to bloom. He was starting to feel desperate now, wanting to touch you, wanting to hold you in his arms, wanting to kiss you until you’re unable to breathe.

“don’t worry, my Y/N. You’ll be in the arms of Jeon Jungkook’s soon.” Jungkook started to smirk with the dirty thoughts of you forming in his head. He really, really, really couldn’t wait to smother you with his kisses. ....once he catches you.

••••••

The next day at school felt so weird as you found Adrian absent. Adrian wasn’t the type of a person who’d miss a day at school, but today he decided to do that. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you looked around for him. Weird. Where is he? you thought.

Ding! “Gosh, what the fuck does he want now?!” You opened to see who the notification was from, but thankfully it was from Suzie.

suzie patootie [now]: bubs, wanna hangout tonight? mum’s having a date with her 5th boyf. house is free for us girls

you [now]: Girls night, eh? I’m on

This girls’ night was all you needed to avoid feeling scared as you were right now. Sure, you were feeling brave already to confront that person through messages but you were still scared too. What if that person was watching your every move right now and you weren’t aware of it?

••••••

You decided to head to grocery store to buy some foodies and drinks for your girls’ night. You didn’t bother to head home first to take a shower since you knew that this girls’ night would be a sleepless night for you, anyway. 

As you walked out from the grocery store to head your way to Suzie’s home, the footsteps were heard again. You stopped your tracks. Oh no. What if this is that person? You were standing still and the footsteps stopped too. You didn’t care and you walked forward quickly and the footsteps got faster following you from behind. 

You started running and the follower chased after you so quick until he finally caught you, locking you in his strong arms. 

“Don’t run away from me, Y/N,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your earlobe and you started to cry. “didn’t I say I’d have you in my arms soon?” 

Before you could scream, he covered your mouth quickly and dragged you backwards with him to an unknown place while holding you tightly. 

“No one’s gonna save you. You’re all mine now, twinkle toes.”

[aion-rsa]

Cruella: Does Every Villain Need a Sympathetic Origin Story?

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Clearly this isn’t your parents’ Cruella De Vil. This isn’t even your Cruella De Vil. However, there is something fiendishly charming about seeing Emma Stone charge into a ballroom and light her black and white dress on fire, revealing a chic red number beneath that would do Scarlett O’Hara proud. If fashion is a statement, Cruella is here to say the villain has just arrived!

Yet one can’t help but shake the certainty that by the time we actually learn the plot of Disney’s Cruella reimagining, Cruella will be in anything but black and white, or fiery red. Rather Cruella is obviously posturing to take a sideways approach to an old classic. But then again, that increasingly feels like the only direction these Hollywood redos know: the sympathetic origin story for an iconic villain.

To be clear, we’ve only gotten a glimpse of Stone as the new Cruella, and she looks absolutely fabulous in a black leather coat and cane, purring, “I’m only getting started, darling.” There’s a wildness about this interpretation befitting our current era where Harley Quinn is the hero of her own story, and Wade Wilson now leads a Disney franchise. Nevertheless, when I watch Cruella on the edge of tears in the trailer, barking defiantly that she is CRUELLA—and seemingly embracing an unfair reputation that other characters may be placing on her—a nagging question persists in the back of my head: Do we really need a sympathetic Cruella De Vil?

The trend of supervillains getting intellectual property-expanding sob stories is nothing new, be it at Disney or anywhere else in Hollywood. Maybe 25 years ago when folks liked their villains big and outlandish—think Glenn Close in Disney’s previous live-action remake of 101 Dalmatians—it was novel to see the antagonist become a tragic protagonist. But like everything else with modern blockbusters, that all changed a long, long time ago with something called Star Wars.

Back in 1977 when the original Star Wars movie was released, many audience members left the theater giddy about the world George Lucas created. In a galaxy far, far away, every pop fantasy of the mid-20th century—Wizards! Knights! Princesses! Samurai! World War II ace pilots!—was thrown into a massive cauldron that seamlessly blended these elements.

Luke Skywalker’s galaxy felt like a real place of exotic, lived-in locales, all of which captured that dirt-under-the-fingertips, tactile quality so rarely seen in fantasy stories. Sure the characters might be archetypes, but they came with histories which gave their fantasy space battles human density. Old Ben Kenobi fought in the Clone Wars with Luke’s father Anakin, who was “a gifted pilot.” But what exactly was a clone war? And why was there more than one of them? Also, what did a Jedi’s “more civilized age” look like for Luke’s papa?

For more than 20 years, no one knew the answer to those questions, which made them all the more intriguing, and the “lore” of this fantasy evermore mythic. Then came Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, the first modern blockbuster prequel devoted to filling in the gaps left by a beloved classic’s mysteries. That movie’s problems are numerous, but at its core the most persistent, lingering issue may still be the reveal that Darth Vader was once a blonde haired little boy with the emotional range of Beaver Cleaver. Of course everyone knew in the abstract sense Vader was once a child… but did they ever really want to see it?

Additionally, did anyone really want to learn Anakin Skywalker’s reason for turning to the Dark Side is because of a bratty streak that followed him into adulthood? Probably not.

Nonetheless, all three Star Wars prequels made massive amounts of money and rather than becoming cautionary tales of what happens when you attempt to explain away all the mysteries of a beloved character, they were the first steps toward a modern staple of media regurgitation where seemingly every mug, pug, and thug would get their own sympathetic redo.

Since then, we’ve learned on screen that Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis Venom, is really a well-intentioned bloke caught in a bad romance (with his alien space buddy), Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker is really just a Travis Bickle clone with mommy issues, and Maleficent, the reigning empress of badassery in the Disney Villain canon, was really just a woman scorned by Sleeping Beauty’s toxic father. Even Hannibal Lecter became a victim in Hannibal Rising, and the Wicked Witch of the West starred in the most popular Broadway musical of all time… where it turns out she was the hero in a conspiracy with the Scarecrow to pull one over on Dorothy.

To be clear, some of these spinoffs and reimaginings work quite well. Even if I personally am a bit chagrined at Todd Phillips’ Joker being nominated for Best Picture, Joaquin Phoenix’s sad sack killer clown created the space for a riveting performance that reminded mainstream audiences that movies can still be for adults. In another comic book movie, Magneto’s heartbreaking backstory in the Holocaust was expanded in 2011’s X-Men: First Class, which made an already relatively complex supervillain just that much more compelling in Michael Fassbender’s hands.

Overall, however, this approach has left something to be desired. And to get back to Cruella, her remix as a misunderstood tragic heroine appears to owe most of all to Maleficent. In 2014, Disney made a killing when they cast movie star Angelina Jolie as their very best big bad, a character so evil in 1959’s Sleeping Beauty that she was willing to knockoff a princess simply because no one sent her a party invite. That’s cold. And it’s wickedly entertaining. Hence why Maleficent scared and captivated generations of children.

Some characters are just too good at being bad.

The marketing of Maleficent leaned into this with a melancholic cover of Sleeping Beauty’s Tchaikovsky-inspired theme song, “Once Upon a Dream.” Now in a minor key, the new version sung by Lana Del Rey promised a scarier, more menacing version of the story, which was then confirmed by Jolie’s wonderfully devilish laugh. The big bad was finally going to have her day at the ball.

But when the movie actually came out, we learned that Maleficent was an enchanted fairy who’d been wronged. In the end, she didn’t hate Elle Fanning’s Princess Aurora. In fact, she loved the little royal and tried to save her from the curse she herself cast in a fit of justified anger. Ultimately, the sorceress adopts Aurora as the daughter she never had after disposing of her now abusive father. That’s certainly an interpretation. I guess.

It also proved massively successful in the short term, opening at a staggering $175.5 million in its opening weekend worldwide, and grossing $758 million total. Those numbers also exclude merchandising and home video revenues. If you want to know why we’re getting the punk rock Cruella, look no further.

However, did a lot of folks really like Maleficent? It made all the money in the world based on that devious marketing campaign that promised a shocking tell-all about Disney’s closest approximation to Lucifer, but by the time a sequel limped into theater five years later, relatively few seemed to still care about the misunderstood, freedom fighting warrior fairy Jolie played. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil ostensibly continued the good fight but flopped at the box office with a cume of $491.7 million, barely more than half of what its predecessor made. (Don’t cry for Disney though, as Avengers: Endgame, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and remakes of Aladdin and The Lion King in the same year made Maleficent 2 look like a clerical error.)

What this whole sputtering franchise reminds us though is that some characters are better left bad, and the mystique of the unknown is an end unto itself. While I enjoyed Phoenix’s take on the Joker, there is little argument the character was even scarier with a PG-13 rating when he manifested out of thin air, like Beelzebub, in The Dark Knight. Or to take a step away from just villains, was Han Solo really any cooler when you learned how he got his name in Solo: A Star Wars Story? Or could you have gone your whole life without knowing thanks to The Hobbit movies that Gandalf and Galadriel were kind of, sort of, just maybe friends with benefits?

The allure of Cruella De Vil is right there in her name: She’s a cruel devil. How could she not be when her entire ambition in Disney’s classic 101 Dalmatians is to skin puppies for their fur coats? Finding out she used to fight the power before hoarding it may make a lot of money, but it doesn’t make her necessarily more compelling.

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[disfordevineaux]

c-chase

Favourite thing about them:

His unwavering determination, hardworking attitude/work ethic (to the things that matter to him) and the strange sense of loyalty to a particular idea, person or belief he has. Also, his rarely displayed but there, dry sense of humour and sarcasm which I hope is explored more in s3. He is also physically unbreakable.

Least favourite thing about them:

His stubbornness and morphed superiority complex I want Julia to kick down when she asserts dominance. Chase is a good follower (second in command maybe? dunno) under the right commander. LIKE DUDE PLEASE JUST LOOK OUTSIDE THE BOX FOR 2 SECONDS GRR.

Favourite line

‘’SPEAK UP! YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!’’

I love this because TECHNICALLY Mimebomb DOES have the right to remain silent. Oh Chase, I see you were trying to be assertive and sprinkle in some humour there but, buddy, you are violating human rights a tad.

brOTP

I have two:

Chase and Zack: Chaotic Angry/Sad/Stoic meet Chaotic Happy/Goofy/Child = dynamic?

Chase and Julia: The potential for a shift in dynamics and a buddy duo of mutual respect and I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW is too good to pass up.

OTP

Chasulia.

Thank you for coming to my impromptu Ted Talk on unpopular ships. I'm here all week.

nOTP

Chase x Chief

I think it’s canon Chief has 0 respect for him as a human being and honestly, I think Chase is terrified of her on many many levels.

Random headcanon:

Exercises frequently as an outlet for his anger/frustrations. Recently stopped the regularity of such, hence his heightened irritability we witness.

Also we all know he a smoker pfft.

Unpopular opinion:

He is often, in a weird way, ultimately half right, has foresight, is self-aware and is a critical thinker WHEN HE TRYS.

(Examples: Carmen is stealing for an ulterior motive that is slightly selfish and vengeful in nature. Shadowsan is working for Carmen. Carmen is a mastermind of some kind. Setting Mimebomb free to follow him. Knowing instantly that Carmen would head to the train station. Carmen's motives for putting the ‘stolen’ diamond between the couch cushions as a distraction to get away with a bigger ‘prize’. Regrets his actions, sometimes in the moment or just after. Not wanting to accept Julia’s sympathetic ‘handout’ for a job he didn’t do, hence he doesn't want praise for a victory he did not help come into fruition. Understands he has made himself look like a fool on multiple occasions. Using his Interpol desk job to obtain information and resources to fuel his research into VILE, the company less Carmen Sandiego for a change. FOUND VILE ISLAND WITH RECEIPTS?. Actively, mentally seeking out Julia’s view on the situation when stuck, aka understanding the positive dynamic she attributed to the situation. NOT INSTANTLY TRUSTING CHIEF OR ACME OR WANTING TO JOIN THEM AND REFUSING A FEW TIMES AFTER THEY KIDNAPPED HIM. I digress. I hate and love how in a twisted way, he always ends up being half right or correct, needing Julia to connect the rest for him to round it out.) 

He is the furthest away from being naïve and honestly, his confidence and assertiveness in his opinions is something I hope he passes onto Julia who can sometimes let herself be pushed under the rug, more so by Chief and Zari than Chase put together.

A song I associate with them:

Feeling Good by Michael Bublé. Just a Jam for his overbearing confidence at times.

favourite picture of them:

I have so many so my top 5 gifs that all have a unique energy:

This was very hard for me to even pick 5. I have issues.

[missvgj98]

Peace: a shikatema fanfic

Chapter One: Shikamaru

Since I was a kid, I was never the type to engage that much. I wasn’t adventurous or outgoing. I kept to myself and wrote stories as I watched the clouds go by. People never interested me. I didn’t mind going to school and talking to no one or even minded being the last pick for a game of dodge ball. Honestly, I would rather sleep more than anything.

           It always worried my parents so, they pushed me to play with their friends’ kid who was the same age as me. I met Choji. He was a… plump guy. Very friendly and had a big heart for butterflies. He’d always chased after them in attempt to get a hold of one, but it never worked out. When he’d get sad, I’d always treat him to his favorite BBQ chips and share a few good laughs. We were fast friends and soon enough he introduced me to his other friends.

           Choji was one who would get picked on a lot because of his weight. So, that would make it hard for him to make friends, but over the years, He eventually did have the luck of meeting some that excepted him for who he was…. Not the best choice at first, but still it was something.

           Naruto and Kiba were the loudest trouble-makers you could ever meet. I seriously thought they were insane and had a peanuts for a brains. The only reason you would find me late after school was because I was suffering the consequences of tagging along with them. But I can’t lie… I did have some great times with them.

           As we approached middle school, we met Neji and Saskue. I was grateful for them because for the longest time I was the father of the group. Neji and Saskue knew how to keep Naruto, Kiba, and at times, Choji in line.

           Neji and Saskue were both very intelligent but at times Naruto could bring them down a notch. I think his stupidity is at times contagious. Saskue had more of an anger issue more than anyone. Neji seemed almost perfect but, push his buttons right and you’ll get something out of him. For the most part he’s a bit like a stone wall.

           We’re an unlikely group, but I’m really happy to do life with them at least. We’ve gone through thick and thin. School fights (guess the two who started those), many detentions, festivals, Kiba’s breakups, supporting each other in sports: Saskue and Neji in Jujitsu (hence how they met), Naruto in Baseball, Kiba plays on the soccer team, and Choji…. After weeks of pestering him- respectfully! We convinced him to try sumo. AND IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF HIS WEIGHT!

           “Choji we’re not saying to go for it because you’re f-…..fluffly- I was going to say fluffy.” Naruto reassured. “We all just thought that you would be a good fit and a great talent for this sport.”

           “The guy even said He’d put you on the team easy.” Kiba contributed.

“No, you guys just think I’m fat!” Choji pouted.

“No-“Neji tried to console him but Choji’s cries over powered him.

           “Look Choji,” I said. “We’re in high school now. And if we want to get into K.U., sports look good our applications. We think Sumo is good for you because you got the proper build for it and out of everyone in this room, you’re the one with the greatest brute strength.”

“Really?”

           “Yeah… and you’re one hell of a bulldozer.” Saskue is speaking from experience.

           We all laughed and Choji finally joined the High School Sumo team. He loves it cause after every match they go to his favorite BBQ spot.

           As my first year of High school progressed it was time for me to the choose something. Which was a surprise for everyone cause I barley even run. I’m the Lazy-ass of the group. You can find me in the dorm room sleeping at any given time. School is a bit of a breeze from me since knowledge is my trump card. I carry an IQ over 200+ and have been invited to get into prestigious academic programs but turned them down. It’d be too troublesome in my book. And I like where I’m at right now.

My favorite teacher and personal mentor Asuma-sensei convinced me over a game of Shoji to take on Boxing. He’s the coach for the team and throughout the years of knowing me, he clams I could make it. I looked at him as if he was mental. I mean- sure my dad showed me some stuff throughout the years to stand-up for myself but, boxing…for real. I don’t know about all that.

           An incident that happened our second year of middle school is something he likes to use as backup to prove his point, always comes to mind.

           We (meaning the gang and I) were on our way home, taking our usual route before we have to split up, walking and munching on some onigiri from our favorite “Go-go” mini mart. And as we were on our way some guys from school had caught up and cornered us in a back ally. We had no idea what was going on until one of the kids spoke up and said:

           “Naruto you bastard, you better take back what you said!”

“ME! What did I say?” we all looked at him with a fierce look.

           “Guys, I promise I didn’t do anything.” He told us.

“Look, if this only pertains to Naruto. We’ll gladly be on our way.”

           “NEJI!” Naruto exclaimed.

“Nah, I think we’re good with pumbling all you assholes to the ground.”

           They all began cracking their knuckles with sinister laughs as they began approaching closer to us.

           Saskue and Neji assumed fighting positions. Naruto slowly grabbed a stick on the ground. Kiba pulled out Akamaru out of his book bag. Choji began to brace himself as I stood behind them simply standing. You could say I’m the eyes of the group in case something goes south.

           “Thanks a lot Naruto.” Saskue whispered.

“If I miss my piano lesson, your explaining this to my dad.” Neji hissed.

           “I don’t even know what that hell this kid is angry about guys! I swear!” Naruto said.

           With a shout they charged. It was four kids against us five. For a moment it was fair fight because I was just standing watch. Neji dodged one kid’s punches and then swiftly gave him an uppercut. Saskue caught the others foot in mid kick and knocked him on his butt by kicking his foot out from underneath him. Kiba sent Akamaru to charge and keep his attacker at bay as he went in with a running start to RKO the kid. Choji simply belly bumped the kid who charged up against him. And Naruto was having a hard time with his opponent as they were duking it out through various punches. The leader was getting more punches in than Naruto, but Naruto still could take it as he finally got the winning shot and knocked the kid off his feet.

           “Lets Go! Quick!” Naruto shouted.

And we were off. We ran out of the alley and made a break for it. Choji was a little behind so, I slowed down to his tempo. He was heaving as he then suddenly realized. “I think I dropped my inhaler back there.”

“Are you serious?” I said. We came to a halt.

“Hey guys! Choji dropped his inhaler. I’m gonna go get it!”

           The guys came back towards us.

“Don’t you think they’re still there?” Kiba asked.

“Well, you want Choji to die? It’s okay Shikamaru. We’ll stay with Choji.” Neji said.

“And I don’t think they’re still there. I saw one of them leave after us in the other direction.” Saskue said.

           “Alright.” So, with that I left and went to retrieve Choji’s inhaler. As I got back to the alley, I found his inhaler on the ground and picked it up. As I was about to leave, I found the Leader still there. I guess his friends left him. He looked at me as he held his chin in pain.

“What the hell do you want?” he shouted. “Come back for more?”

I lift my hands up to show peace. “I don’t mean any trouble. I just came-“

           “I don’t want your apology!”

“I did-“

           “And who needs those looser friends anyway! I just called for real backup! My brother’s coming to kick your ass.”

And not a second later a shadow overcame me. I slowly turned around to see a boy who looked a couple years older than me, with slicked back silver hair, red eyes, towering over me. I saw that he had the high school uniform on.

           “Is this the little shrimpy kid who kicked your butt, Hido? Wow! I can’t believe it.” He laughed.

I got nervous. Maybe I should’ve got Neji or Saskue to come with me. Dammit! What the hell am I going to do?

           “Look here kid, my names Hidan.” He crotched down to my level. “I don’t really appreciate anyone messing with my family. So, I want you to pay very close attention-“

           My eyes shifted to where his hand was reaching for. He had a knife in his coat pocket.

The guy looked as if her was only a year or two older than me- what the hell was he doing with a knife?

           At the sight of it I panicked and without a thought I went into a stance and gave a right hook to the center of his face. He was caught off guard and started falling backward so, to help him out I finished him with an uppercut with my left and ran as fast as I could.

           I never found myself in that type of situation before. Only in hypotheticals with my dad and even then, I wasn’t putting out full blows. Just pretend with my dad.

I ran as fast as I could back to the guys, not giving a single glance back no matter how many voices I heard shouting after me. The guys came back to my line of vision and as they saw me approach their faces looked frightened. I was about to call out but, then a hand grabbed my arm.

           “Hey, slow down there kid!”

I looked to see Asuma-Sensei. Where the heck did he come from?

           “Asuma?” I said. “Wh-“

“If you’re gonna fight, don’t do it next to my store.”

           That was the day I found out that after school Asuma-sensei ran/owned a convenient store. He allowed me to return Choji’s inhaler to him but, I had to go back and explain to Asuma what happened. I was the only one caught so, Naruto said to not rat them out. But Neji dragged him to his house to explain to his dad why he missed his piano lessons.

           When I returned to Asuma, he explained to me that I broke the kids nose and badly bruised his jaw with my punches. He only knew the other guys side of the story so, it looked like I was the attacker.

           “He was about to pull a knife on me so, I panicked.” I simply explained.

           We made it back to the incident and the kid was getting treated by one of Asuma’s workers.

“Is that so?” Asuma said. “Hidan!”

           The silver headed boy looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“You got a weapon on you boy?”

           His eye filled with panic for just a split second, but he kept his cool as he covered himself up.

“No sir.” He said. “Look, I told you, my little brother called me saying he and his friends were getting jumped. So, I ran over here to help him. I get here and that little shit was still on a rampage and out of nowhere attacked me!”

           ‘Rampage’ was not the word to describe me. Asuma knew that. So, in a single movement he got the knife out of his pocket.

“You bring weapons to school?” Asuma questioned him.

           Instead of Hidan expressing an emotion of guilt, he starred at me with what felt like a murderous intent. I looked away quickly and asked Asuma if I could leave. But he was already making a call to the school’s deputy. When deputy came, he questioned us again and it all ended with Hidan and his little brother being put in the back of the cop car with handcuffs. Turns out they both had a pilling record on their heads. Soon after the deputy left another cop car pulled in. It was Saskue’s dad. He offered me a ride home but before I left Asuma said:

           “And before I forget. Nice right hook.” He smiled and waved as we drove away.

           He saw the whole thing.

So, my first year of high school I took on Boxing per-Asuma-sensei’s request. And… I don’t hate it. It’s a good stress reliever.

           As the year went on it was just me and the guys as usual. Doing our thing. Until… Ino.

           Ino was a girl I saw almost every single day since elementary school. I knew our parents knew of each other but, she had so many friends Choji and I never really mingled with her. Whenever I saw her outside of school it was a single “Hi” and “Bye”. I’d be lucky if I got one in school though.

           But the point is that whenever I saw her I knew that I liked looking at her and my friends could obviously tell. For the longest time they urged me to go and really talk to her but, I never took the shot. I was okay with just looking at her.

           I didn’t know much about romance and never thought about it ever but, when I saw her I tried to imagine what it would be like. She seemed nice…. That all I could get from her. The guys didn’t know much about her either- only that she was best friends with Sakura…. Who had a huge crush on Saskue. Sakura was an acquaintance of ours and was relatively nice but, she refused to let us know anything about Ino. She said something about paying respect to some stupid girl code. And Saskue refused to put anything on the line if it meant talking Sakura.

           Sakura and Ino were- for the longest time- and still are part of the ”Popular”s. Top of the social ladder and they liked their place there. So, going out with a guy like me or Naruto or Kiba or Choji meant Social suicide. Saskue and Neji made the cut because apparently their good looking but, don’t care for social status or people so they gave them the middle finger.

           But one day, after Biology class, Ino came to me. I was quite surprised she even knew my name when she approached me.

“I need your help, Shika- Shikamaru? Right?”

           “Yea.” I said.

“I’m failing this class and if I don’t pass, the teacher is threatening me with summer school. I heard you’re the top of our class so, do you think you could help me?”

           She asked me in a pretty straight forward way. No hair flip or puppy-dog eyes. She just simply asked. I could see the desperation in her eyes so, I agreed.

           She had already set days that’s she had free so that we could be able to meet up and study. Afterwards I met up with the guys at lunch and they claimed it was fate…. Well, Naruto and Kiba. Choji was happy for me and gave me a pat on the back. But Neji and Saskue simply nodded and told me to be careful. To them they took my liking towards Ino as quite a surprise. They said they didn’t see me with a girl like her but, weren’t gonna put up a fight with my choice.

           As time progressed and I tutored her. The time came to the mid-quarterly exam. She passed with flying colors and Thanked me. Nothing happened over our study dates. It was strictly Biology. But, at the end I got the courage to ask her to the Winter Festival but, she turned me down.

           I didn’t know that it got to me until my boxing match came up. I was up against some guy from Sound High. He was pretty good and in the beginning of the match he was landing a lot of good hits on me. But when the second round came in, he gave a nice jab that woke me up real good. After that I just lost it. I didn’t give him enough time to block or recover and I won the match with a KO.

           The day after, Kiba told me that I was the “Talk of the Town” saying that everyone was talking about my match last night. And a couple days later Ino and I had plans for a date.

           Our relationship happened suddenly, and I quickly got blinded by her. I only saw her and nothing else. I could care less about the popularity and all the people she had around her. I just wanted to know what she was about, her likes, interests, things that made her happy, or sad. Everything.

           I wasn’t one to show PDA at school and I made if very clear to her. She respected my boundaries and I respected hers. The only perk to all this (to Naruto and Kiba) was that we got into all the parties now. Choji used this opportunity to become more of a social butterfly. So, it was kind of a win-win situation because Neji and Saskue would sometimes attend those parties which made Sakura and a bunch of other girls happy.            

           Very quickly we were no longer losers. All in the span of our first year in high school. Choji went with the flow. Kiba loved it. Naruto was through the roof. Saskue could care less but, I do see the way he looks at Sakura at times. And Neji… I’m surprised he’s even still around.

           The beginning of Ino and I’s relationship was great. I had no problem. I didn’t really know how to do all this so, I was just following after her lead while also getting tips from the guys…. Which helped… more or less. Until one day, I asked Asuma.

“What do you see in Ino, Shikamaru?” He asked. “Why did you choose her?”

           I thought for a minute. “Well, I never really thought of girls until I saw her. I saw her and I thought she was beautiful. She was the first girl I ever saw that made me…pause.”

He nodded and then asked. “How did you feel when you kissed her for the first time?”

           “Pretty good.” I said.

He nodded. “Honestly, Shikamaru. I’m not surprised by your answers…. But, If you want my opinion. I don’t think Ino is a nice a choice… for you.”

           I stayed quiet.

“She’s a nice girl. All around personality with a face to match it. But if she’s the one you like- I can’t really tell you how to live your life. But I will I give you this advice: When you know you’re with the right person, it all just comes naturally. Without a second thought.”

________________________________________________________________

Thank you guys for being so patient! It was so hard to get this out on time with school getting in the way. I hope you like the first chapter. The second one will be out soon! Where you’ll see a little bit of Temari’s back story. And art too!

What do you think about ShikaIno? How did this chapter make you feel for the most part? I’d love feedback.

Chapter Two: Temari

-MissVGJ98

[joonsmagicstudio]

➢ One Five-Zero (m) : PJM

⇁ synopsis: You make a deal with a devil for a wild time in the middle of classes.

or 

the time when you were bored in the class and drew 150 pentagrams exactly in your notebook before a devilishly handsome man in a red suit breaks down the door of your class room and yells “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?”

⇁ female reader x jimin

⇁ smut, jimin devil!au

⇁ general smut ig? oral sex (both lmao), slight derogatory language, creampie, unsafe sex (pls get a condom or some contraceptive before you do it kiddos), blowjob etc the list goes on.

⇁ lol a short PWP( 3.8k) . I saw a post somewhere on insta and wanted to write it at 1 am. Pls if you find that post because it gave me a reason to right, lemme know! I lost it sadly,

⇁ A/N: I had actually been busy writing 5 long ass story for my own joy but suddenly a small idea came to my mind after seeing a post and I really wanted to post it for y’all to enjoy. Hope you like it. PS: English is not my first language and this hasn’t been edited. I will edit it soon, but please do let me know if there is any mistakes! Also I am having issues with keep reading, let me know if you are facing some issues with it too! I don’t want to annoy some people by making them have to scroll through the entire fic. Also this is like my first fix, forgive me.

You sat in the back of the lecture hall as usual with your hoodie pulled over and your face resting in your left palm as you couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to the American History your professor was droning on about. You had a lot of regrets, one of them was choosing history but then it was your fault anyways and no one but you was to blame. 

As the professor went on, you had zoned out and doodled lethargically in your notebook with a dull red pencil that you found somewhere on the in the hallway that you pulled out to at least look like your were taking some notes in case the professor decided to look at you. However, the chances of the professor looking at you in far back of the hall were infinitesimally small since the good students that were actually engaging with the lecture content and asking questions were in the front row. You had an absolutely great respect for people like them, it was because of these people you were able to skimp out on paying attention and keeping a low radar in the classroom.

Out of all the doodles, you had taken a keen liking drawing circles and then a star in it to complete a pentagram. It was easy, no effort and quick for you to keep mindlessly doing it until the classroom ended sometimes you would shade in boxes on your notebook if it was a block paper, unfortunately it was the good ol’ lined paper, hence the pentagram. You had finished up a total of one hundred and 50 small pentagram in your notebook with that red pencil when a rather loud cracking of the door was heard, effectively pulling all of the class attention, including you, on the the door that had flown off the hinges and landed across the class room, at the windows in just splinters and large pieces of wood chunk.

However, your attention was on the devilishly handsome man in velvety crimson suit, unfortunately his beautiful face was contorted in an expression of pure anger and frustration, his fist seemed to be clenching and his eyes were dead set on you in a piercing glare, who dares to upset and making his screw up his handsome face? However your thoughts were interrupted by him “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?”, he yelled, his loud voice reverberating your ear like a clap of a thunder and you swear you felt chills down your spine but moreover you were terribly confused. You were just admiring a masterpiece of an artwork.

You had no idea who he was other than the fact that he was extremely handsome, his hair felt like the kind you could run your hands through, his lips were plushy and kissable. But still you had no idea what you had done to constitute a rather handsome man to be yelling at you in the middle of the classroom after breaking a door with a kick. Was he that powerful?

The classroom had followed his line of vision which lead to you and now everyone had their eyes on you, including the professor, which offended you a little bit. Generally, a professor should get the intruder out but instead it seemed that the professor was invested in the drama that was unfolding right now. You weakly pointed at yourself and mouthed ‘me?’ to clarify if it really was you he was yelling at or maybe someone behind you or in front of you? Idiot, your back was to a wall and nobody was at least within few seats in front of you.

The handsome man rolled his eyes aggressively and ran his hand through his hair as he let out a sigh of frustration. Then he took large and quick strides to stand in front of you, now you were getting a strong aura from him, up close he was intimidating and there a sparkle of something unusual in his eyes. Maybe it was because he standing and you were seated and that he was actually leaning into you. You had shifted backwards until you were close to falling off the chair. Also, if you must add, he had a really nice smell of cologne coming from him and you couldn’t help but enjoy the cologne a little but until the man in front of you slammed his hand of you desk and seethed, “You. Me. Copier room now.” and with that he stormed off, leaving you with your jaw hanging wide open and your eyes blown to the size of the saucer. The professor suddenly cleared his throat and tilted his head to the direction that the man had left, signalling you to take your and go after him.

Embarrassment creeped up the back of your neck as you scrambled to pack everything, including the shitty red pencil you found and speed walked your way out into the hallways. You were utterly confused as to why were the two of you meeting in the copier room for. You would expect the conversation to be held in a cafe or hallway or even in an empty classroom as a matter of fact. You distractedly made your way to the entrance of the copier room which it was closed. You stood there, readjusting your bag strap on one shoulder and to give yourself a moment to prepare yourself to facing him again. Unfortunately, that was cut shot when the door swung open wildly and the man in front of you grabbed your wrist to pull you inside and slamming the door shut behind you. Now you were sandwiched between him, the door behind you and caged between his arms.

A small click was hear and you glanced to the source of the sound, he had locked the door from the inside- what, was that even possible? Locking a door from inside, it would make more sense to lock it from outside. Your train of thoughts were again interrupted when the man in front of you took a step back, standing directly underneath white light that hung from the ceiling. He truly was breathtaking, the red suit complimented his fair skin and his dark brown hair made him look irresistible. 

“Listen up, Y/N right?” he spoke, looking at you with his one eyebrow raised up to clarify if he had got the right person. You nodded immediately and he proceeded to talk, “You-you little-annoying piece of shit summoned me 150 times. What the fuck do you want?”

“Uhm, who are you? I’m positive that I never called you.” You spoked softly, genuinely unsure of what on earth was going on for you to receive swear words from this man’s mouth, not that it was bad at all, in fact it was fucking hot to hear that.

“Damn woman. I’m Park Jimin, the devil you were summoning with your fucking 150 pentagrams. You know just a few would have been fine, but nah you decided to go for a full fucking 150 pentagrams. Do you have any idea how annoying it is?”  The man, now Jimin scoffed, blinking several times to grasp the foolishness of this situation. Not only he had come after being called 150 times, the person who called him had no clue either.

“oh-OH.”, the realization dawned upon you when you remembered that you had indeed drawn many pentagrams in your notebook, but you didn’t actually know it was 150 times you had doodled it and you definitely had absolutely no fucking idea that it would summon an actual devil. It’s kinda nice that the devil was an eye candy though, “Right, uh sorry. Um you could go back I guess? I won’t do it anymore. Sorry for the trouble Jimin.” You mumbled apologetically, sticking out a hand for a handshake and thinking that it would magically resolve how irritating you were according to Jimin.

Jimin stared at your handshake in disbelief, most people would jump at the opportunity to get something granted or scream in fear and run away. Instead, you just stuck out a hand for a handshake and told him to go back. Instead of shaking your hand, he scrunched his eyebrows tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering what he should do with you now that you had called him 150 times for no reason. He didn’t want to go back for nothing, at least something should be done. Then he opened his eyes, and this time you swear your saw lust in his eyes.

Jimin realized that if you weren’t scared and had nothing to ask for, he could at least ask you for a favour, “Hmm, kitten how long has it been since you had your release?” he purred softly, the side of his lip slowly stretching into a smirk as he dropped the tension from his shoulder and tilted his head slightly while keeping his eyes trained on you.

You knew how this was going to play out, you gulped slightly and thoughts were whirling around in your mind. You honestly were actually considering what he was insinuating and after all it had been a while since you got some action.

“It’s been 6 months.” You replied honestly, and Jimin chuckled at the response, “That’s too long kitten, aren’t you craving for some now?”

Jimin took a step closer to you, hungrily eyeing up your body before he closes the space between the two of you. He then brings one hand to cup your face and bring it closer to his lips, the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer so that his crotch was pressing tightly against you. His lips against yours were opening up the primal desires you had deep within in you and almost instantly you brought your hands around the back of his neck to play with his hair and pull him deeper into the kiss, giving into his his kiss because you honestly needed some action. Jimin grunted at your pull and pull back a little to see your face, he saw you with your eyes half-lidded and a small smile gracing your lips, with that he swooped down to capture you lips in another heated kiss. This time his hands both of his hand had move to the bottom of your shirt and tugged it upwards so that you could move back and stick you arms up while he rid of that article from your upper body.

Upon discarding your shirt, he was in awe of your breast that was still covered by your bra and he went to knead is softly over the bra, stimulating a small sight of relief from your mouth. Hearing the small sigh, he couldn’t help but get turned on slightly and that went unnoticed by you. You brought on of you hand to cup his hard on knead it gently to help him, the tent beneath his crimson pant got noticeably harder and in no time you had gotten on your knees to unbuckle his pant. You removed the belt and guided his waist backward, slightly to the left so that he could lean on the printing machine supports. You nimble fingers unbuttoned his pant, pulled the zipper down before reaching to the sides to pull down his pant completely to reveal the black boxer that had been stained slightly in a darker colour from the wetness of the pre-cum. Before you could do anything, Jimin put a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up.

“Remove your bra sweetheart.” He played around with the strap, waiting for you to slip of the strap and unclasp it from your chest, allowing your nipple to be exposed and harden in the cool air of the copier room. Jimin gulped at the sight and then pushed your head slightly towards his crotch to get you continuing. AT first you stroked it through his black boxer before Jimin grunted, urging you to take it out. You obeyed easily and pulled down his boxer, letting it pool around his ankle, where his pants had fallen previously. His hard on finally was revealed and its length stood out impressively against his abdomen. Without further hesitation you licked a long stripe from his balls all the way to the tip. You cautiously looked up to see how would Jimin react, he had his head tipped backward, clearly he was enjoying it. You took his length in your hand, giving it a few strokes before engulfing the head of his length in your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his head, earning a small groan from his throat and then pushed in deeper.

Jimin was deep in your mouth, enjoying the warm wetness that brought pleasure in his abdomen. He could feel that he was halfway close to a release however he didn’t want it to be in your mouth. He had other plans to deal with you. Gripping roughly on your hair, he pulled you away from his and a thin trail of saliva stretched out from his head of his length to your mouth. That sight alone would have made him nut right then and there. He tilted you head upward to see your face, a rosy blush was present on your cheeks and you looked awfully fuckable. He let go of you hair and gently brought you up by holding your chin and pulling you up.

“Why? Don’t you want me to finish it off for you?” You asked, licking your lips to moisten it up. Jimin replied, trailing off slightly as he watched you lick your lips, “No… let me prepare you kitten.”

He leaned into the crook of your neck, peppering it with soft kissed before biting to create hickeys while he twirled you around so that your back was facing the copier instead of him.You gave in under his ministration and ran up your hands in the back of neck. Jimin slotted himself between your leg and pulled away to lift you onto the printer. He unbuckled your pants and roughly pulled them down and tossed it to the floor. He was thankful that you were wearing a simple slip on van that was easy to remove. Now you were nearly undressed except for the underwear that seemed to have been soaked slightly.

Seeing that Jimin was more dressed that you were, you whined lightly, “Jimin, you have your blazer and shirt on. Can’t you at least remove that for me?” You toyed lightly at the buttons of his black button up shirt. His hand coming up to hold your and and pull it away, “Kitten, are you that desperate hmm?” 

First he took of his crimson blazer and then unbutton his shirt rapidly, yanking the shirt of his upper body before tossing it somewhere in the copier room. Now you could admire how well built his body was. He indeed has abs and striking black nevermind tattoo on his ribcage, you couldn’t help but lightly glide your fingers along the words. Jimin chuckled softly at your admiration of his body, he pressed his fingers at the wet underwear of yours, causing you to shudder.

“Seems like you got wet at just sucking me off and admiring my body. Aren’t a little bit of a slut?” he continued to pressed it before deeming it wet enough to yank it down your legs to let it join the floor, his once soft words were turning filthy now and that had you yearning for mow. He now had a full view of your wet mound, he dragged to fingers across the slit before pressing softly on your clit causing you to feel pleasure to begin in your abdomen. However, it wasn’t enough to satiate you, “Jimin?”

“Yes?” He he whispered, looking up to meet your eyes, “what is it, kitten?”

“Could you just fuck me already?” You asked in you sweetest voice, however Jimin did not reel to it. Instead he slipped his finger into your wetness, enjoying the hot tightness of it as you felt it enter and stretch you a little. He pulled it out, admiring how your wet juice had coated his digit completely. Then he added the second digit, stretching you out again and feeling you twitch around his finger. His erection was growing much harder and painful for him to ignore. He was going to have to put it inside you real soon. After a few pumps he added the third digit and had his thumb circling your clit.

“Jimin-ngh please.” You bit your bottom lip hard when he started circling around your clit, the pleasure wave coming undeniably close. Jimin seemed to sense that you were close by your twitching around his digit, so he pulled it out, licking his digit clean off your juice. You couldn’t help but whimper at the empty feeling but that was quickly recovered by his mouth on you. Now he had you moaning out softly under his control. His tongue licking long stripe across your wetness and stopping at the clit to play with it. Occasionally he would push his tongue deep into you as of he was devouring his last meal. That alone brought you to the edge, moaning his name softly under breath as you tried your best to keep your legs open whilst your hand were gripping his hair. Jimin kept slurping and licking, riding out your high for as long as possible. When he came up, you could see a sheen of shiny layer of your juice coating his lip and some on his chin to which he collected with his thumb and rested it against your lip for you to suck it off cleanly.

“Now that your pussy is slick wet, you wouldn’t mind if I pounded it hard right slut?” Jimin cooed as he slipped his length with more stretch than you could handle, not allowing you to say anything as the words died in your throat due to the sensation of the stretch and him filling you up nicely.

“Fuck, look at that body of yours.” Jimin complimented you as your hard arched your back, your elbows pressing hard into the copier for some support. When he noticed that, a small idea came to his mind.

“Slut, I’m going to need to get off for a moment. Could you do that?” He smirked at you and your mind was too clouded with lust and desire to wonder what next he had up in his sleeve. All you needed was him to dick you to hell and back. Without much hesitation, you scooted off the copier with the help of Jimin holding onto your waist and then he reached out behind you lift up the scanning lid of the copier. The machine gruntled to life as the white shot shone out from the scanning glass. Jimin then turns your around and forced you to bend over, your bare breast pressing against the cool glass of the copier. Then it clicked to you what he was planning to do. It unfortunately, turned you very on as Jimin smashed the scan and print button before he rammed into you, hard this time which got you groaning contently with him filling and stretching your every time he pushed in.

The tightness of your slick brought him closer each time he thrusted in, he was now finding hard to keep up the ruthless pace he had. He was slowing down, trying to enjoy each and every thrust into you, “Fuck, look at you taking me in so well darling. I ought to fill you up nicely.” Jimin muttered in your ears to which you could only response with a weak nod.

“Uh uh, that’s not the right response slut. I can’t hear you.” Jimin slowed to an extremely agonizingly slow place to get you to respond to his needs. His panting was heaving, the skin contact between the two of you was getting slightly sticky due to the sweat. You couldn’t look back to see Jimin’s face but you could definitely imagine strands of his hair sticking to his forehead from sweat.

“Yes, please fill me up.” You gritted, somehow sounding comprehensible through all the dicking, the pleasure taking over your senses and Jimin heard it well, “Since you said it so sweetly darling.” He cooed, resuming to a slightly faster pace. His hands gripped around your waist tightly that it was starting to leave red imprints, his near was coming close and with a sharp stutter in his pace and pushing deep inside you, he finally cummed. You swear you could feel his cum painting and fill up your walls.

He simply slowed down, coming to a full stop with his dick deep inside you as he pressed both of his hands on the waist, hunching over you body slightly to catch his breath. He had to admit that it was a good fuck he had quite in a long time and looking at your heavy breathing and fucked out state, he was sure you also a good one. He slowly pulled out, watching the cum leak out your wet slick, but before it could spill out, he cupped it gently as if he was trying to contain it whilst he grabbed you underwear with his other hand and slipped it on you, “Keep in inside of you slut. If you don’t I sweat to god I will make you beg.” He whispered in your ears while he pulled up the under wear a little higher to make you yelp at the sensitivity of your clit being pressed by the fabric.

The two of you got dressed up in silence, the copier room definitely smelled strongly of sex and the two of chuckled when you both looked at each other after smelling it a bit. It was the first time you saw Jimin smile naturally and you had to admit that it was a good look on him. As you slipped on the shirt, Jimin went to the copier and picked out a bunch of paper from the tray, you had a pretty good idea of what the scanned documents were but you still were shocked when Jimin took one and flipped it around to show you how your breast on display looked like.

“I’m keeping them as a keepsake.” He winked before folding it and tucking it away in his is pants.

“Sure, take it as an apology for me summoning you 150 times Jimin.” You teased lightly, picking up your school bag and swinging it over your shoulder.

“Jesus, don’t remind me of that. Quit summoning me 100 times, just a few times will be enough whenever you need another release because darling, I am sure I do it better than anyone else you’ve had.” He leaned in and gave you a small peck before opening the door to leave. You were stunned at the fact that you were permitted to summon him anytime you desired, you wanted to ask him if there was any other ways to contact other than pentagram doodlings but by the time you ran out into the hallways to catch him, he seemed to have disappeared into the thin air. 

Looks like you’ll have to doodle pentagrams to get him to come.

[smolbeanethel]

Ashton (Age: 8)

- Was an only child. It was a miracle that he was even born at all with every miscarriage his mother would have. It was believed that she wouldn’t be able to have children yet she did... Only she had wanted a girl, not a boy.

- While his mother chose to neglect and ignore his existence, his father chose to take out all of his frustrations on the boy. It had really only been physical at that point.

- This changed when he opted to sexually abuse the boy. His father had his own issues and problems with himself, showing more disgust towards himself rather than at Ashton- Ashton was just a vulnerable outlet to take all that stress and rage out on. 

- His first ever crush was his own father too. His feelings kinda warping to the point where he didn’t mind if his father would beat or berate him, anything, it never mattered to Ashton anymore. He was getting attention? And being punished like he believes he should be.

- This now just made his father despise him even more.

- Ashton only really had two friends at the time- the little girl in the attic from his neighbor’s house- and the boy who’d always come to play with him through his bedroom window.

- Always bruised super easily.

- He’s learned to associate abuse as attention. If he’s being beaten (or more) then at-least someone is focusing on him.

- Because of his mother’s neglect and occasional comment about him not deserving to be born- he firmly believes he needs to be punished, he’s upset his mother? Clearly upset his father too- it’s only fair that he gets treated poorly? His existence is a crime- anyone should be allowed to harm him.

Theme song: Disperse

Ashton (Age: 16)

- His father died when Ashton hit the age of sixteen, leaving him feeling hollow and kinda unsure what to do. His mother’s silence (punishment) was kinda deafening, he always felt alone around her.

- But that was the age in which she kicked him out, she didn’t want to see his face anymore. Even claiming that she wishes he’d die in a ditch somewhere, maybe all the drugs and alcohol will slowly do him in. He wouldn’t be missed.

- His addiction to drinking and taking drugs had only gotten worse, no matter how many times Alexander would try to get him to stop. There was just no helping Ashton, this was the only thing making Ashton hang on- he would’ve killed himself much sooner if he let them go.

- Ashton did manage to get himself a job after pushing through with his classes, he’d become a nurse’s aide/aide. But that was thanks to Alexander not allowing him to give up on that, soon even Sonia was helping to make sure he stuck around too.

- Doesn’t bother to talk to his mother much, he knows she doesn’t want to see him anyway- she made it clear that she’d rather see him dead.

- At this age, he was more prone to his emotional outbursts but they were only ever harmful to himself- bordering on severely bringing himself pain. It has only gotten worse as he’s gotten older.

Amelia (Age: 10) 

- Actually used to really adore her mother, she was pretty much stuck to her mother’s aide 24/7- much to her mother’s delight as the two loved to play games together and paly outside.

- Used to love watching her bio father paint, he was striving to become a famous artist- and used to love painting whenever Meghan and Amelia were outside, to him the sight was beautiful, especially the outdoors.

- Her father eventually had gotten very sick, he had ended up passing away a few months later. From there, everything had changed.

- Amelia was still close to her mother though. Always tried to cheer her mother up whenever she felt that her mother was upset, she was missing her father too, after all. 

- New father’s eventually came and went. Amelia was never too fond of them either. 

- One stuck around much longer but he was never interested in Meghan, instead focusing his interest on Amelia- one night he had gone way too far and ended up sexually abusing the girl too, threatening to kill her mother if she even uttered what he had done to her, she only wanted to protect her mother, so she had no choice but to accept this.

- Part of her had grown cold and distant with her mother.

- This abuse continued way into her teenage years until she just adapts to enjoying it, even starting up her own ways to earn money.

Theme song: Memories

Amelia (Age: 16)

- Despite being so young, Amelia had grown into being sexually active and started her business off slowly during these years. All the while, she never told her mother anything, leaving her mother in the dark.

- She continued to sleep with all of her mother’s husbands and wives, only a few truly seemed to care for Meghan, and never sought out anything with Amelia, she left it at that. 

- Part of her was unsure whether or not she hated her mother but she knows she resents her.

- Gotten into smoking and drinking alcohol. It helped give her a sense of control over herself.

- Pretty decent at lying at this age too.

- Got into plenty of arguments with her mother too, she had said some pretty harsh stuff and even made her mother cry. It didn’t feel good but she felt like she needed to lash out.

- Stolen quite a bit too, though it was always just money or one of her step parent’s things of alcohol.

Sonia (Age: 13)

- Sonia was the older half sister to two younger brothers and one younger sister. Her father had left her mother right as she found out she was pregnant with Sonia.

- Her mother had grown to blame this all on Sonia, the love of her life had left her behind just because this brat was born. Her hatred for Sonia was always made clear, she was never as affectionate with Sonia as she was with her younger siblings, and she always lashed out at Sonia.

- She’d resorted to kicking Sonia in the stomach many times. Even slapping and burning the girl with her cigarette whenever she got the chance. It had gotten to the point where Sonia had started to wonder if she should’ve never been born at all.

- Eventually she was locked away in the attic, whenever she would come home from school, she would be sent up there, just so her mother wouldn’t have to see her or hear her voice.

- Her mother had hated hearing her so much that she wanted the girl to stay quiet whenever she was in her presence, whispering never made her happy. She didn’t want to hear the girl period.

- Sonia was the girl in the attic that Ashton had befriended, though they had never spoken a word to each-other. He had done his best to write out his messages to her, pressing them to his window for her to see- eventually she had started to do the same.

- Always came to school all bruised and upset, she wouldn’t tell her teachers anything, she just kept it all in.

- The only time she ever might’ve felt love was when her grandparents would stop by to visit their grandchildren. They’d never hated her. Even gave her a music box that she still cherishes.

Theme song: The Empty Doll

Sonia (Age: 21)

- She thought that if she succeeded in school, did everything she was told, and got into college- that her mother would finally love and accept her. Yet that turned out to be all for nothing.

- The only way her mother would ever be happy, is if Sonia were to die somehow- in her own words too.

- Now she has moved far away from her mother and step father, she tries not to think of them but part of her still feels pained. She only wanted to be loved. She wanted to be treated fairly.

- Tries to not get angry but... she just can’t keep it in all of the time.

- Part of her wonders if it is even possible to love her, hence why she tends to keep herself guarded and finds it hard to talk to others- especially when she was only ever met with judgement from those her age.

- Used to be friends with Amelia but... Marx kinda ruined that when he had sexually abused Sonia while Amelia was away. She had tried to tell Amelia but... that didn’t go well.

- Still friends with Ashton, kinda spoils him when he stops by the bakery she works at. He’s her first ever friend, she feels attached to him in some form.

Marx (Age: 11)

- Marx was always a problem child. His own mother and father thought the same too, they found it hard to deal with him at times. He only ever wanted things to go his way and hated being out of control.

- He had to be taken to anger management as he would lash out and hurt his mother every single time. They thought he had changed, and maybe he did, but he only ever learned to manipulate his parents.

- Never was kind to kids his age, and if they told his parents, he’d just warp it to make himself look like the victim. That the kids were just bullying him because he was smaller than them. In truth, he was the one being a bully.

- Even as he child, he liked having control and power over others. Marx took joy out of intimidating others and making them do things they didn’t want to do, it amused him greatly.

- To his parents though, he seemed liked a well behaved boy, he had changed, he only ever wanted to make them happy now. Make up for hurting them like he used to. What a huge lie that was. 

- Marx was still a jerk as a child, and still a jerk now that he’s an adult. That never changed, he just knows how to hide it well.

Theme Song: Hate

Marx (Age: 24)

- Inherited his father’s business at the age of 24, he had been trained to properly run the place and knew how to run the place. It made his father super proud of him, thinking he left the business in good hands.

- It was, for the most part. But Marx also had another job, he was part of gang that kinda sought to terrorize innocent people. He’d gang up on them while they were alone- and it would go from there.

- Likes to make girls and boys cry- he gets a kick out of it. Gives him a sense of power- he’s completely sadistic towards them and treats them like he owns them. In his eyes, he does own them.

- Spends his money on those he’s with, he still acted like a sugar daddy- but like how it is now, his money being given meant sexual favors would have to be returned.

- Still keeps up the aura of a gentleman around his parents yet he’s far from being a gentleman. 

- Money doesn’t really matter to him. He’s always had money on hand, who cares if he decides to throw it around? It gets him what he wants in the end? People love money, he loves sex.

Meghan (Age: 12)

- Grew up in a pretty loving household, her parents had always been super kind to her.

- Loved visiting her grandparents house, they had this beautiful butterfly pantry/house, the butterflies and flowers that were inside, always left her in awe. She loved them so much.

- Met her first love too, they had started as childhood friends which soon turned to lovers as they got older. The two were always so inseparable, even as they’d go outside. He’d follow her outside and claim he would act as her knight, she was his princess. She always humored him with this too.

-  Always super honest.

- Loved going to church with her parents (and sometimes grandparents).

- Spent most of her Sundays baking with her mother and grandmother. They always had dinner together, and would bake a dessert to go along with their meal.

- Had a silly sense of humor back then and still kinda does. 

- Was better with tending to flowers than her mother, who always ended up killing her plants. It always left the girl to lecture her mother and teach her how to take care of them. It never really worked out.

Theme song: Winter lullaby

Meghan (Age: 25)

- Meghan was married by the time she was 25, married her childhood friend and was pretty happy with her life.

- While he was striving to be an aspiring artist, she was running a flower shop. She never stopped supporting her husband either, was always quick to rush to his side whenever he was being hard on himself, or was about to give up.

- Wanted to make her own butterfly pantry/house, having seen her grandparent’s one always was a huge inspiration for her.

- When she got pregnant with Amelia, she had opted to stay home. Started working on setting that up whilst also setting up Amelia’s room. Meghan was overjoyed at thought of being a mother, she’d wanted to start a family of her own too.

- Continued to support her husband even during her later terms of pregnancy- she never wanted him to take his stress out on himself, or for him to simply give up on his dreams. She wouldn’t stand for that,

- Her family life was perfect after Amelia was born, the three would spend so much time together. They’d visit family, go to parks, to to church, and would continue to bake and eat together just like Meghan’s family had done with her. She wanted Amelia to experience the same things too.

- Losing her husband had been hard on her, she never thought she would lose him yet lost him anyway. She’d try to stay strong for Amelia but it was always hard.

- Everything changed, she’d found love in others and yet- they always left. Her relationship with Amelia had gone cold and distant, Meghan had tried to get to the bottom of it but Amelia never let her.

- Now, she’s married to Marx, and deals with the brunt of his abuse each time. As well, as the knowledge that her daughter is now sleeping with everyone she manages to get with. She feels lost.

Alexander (Age: 8)

- Alexander had to grow up fast for his parents. Being the eldest, a lot was expected out of him. He couldn’t afford to spend him time on useless things, he could only do what he was told to do, and what was set out for him.

- Everything was decided for Alexander, what he would learn, what he would be doing for the entire day, what he would eat, and how much he would eat, etc. He never had much control over his life which frustrated him a lot.

- The time he met Ashton, was the first time he had ever chosen to do something for himself- he’d sneak out each time to come play with the other. Even if it could only be done through Ashton’s bedroom window, and it was pretty risky too.

- Hated getting dirty even as a kid. It would lead him to freak out and throw a tantrum, he didn’t like messes getting on him, or being around messes.

- Affection never existed when it came to his parents. They were always too bust to have time for that, and had flat out told him that if it doesn’t benefit them. What’s the point? He was expected to agree with them too.

- Time had went on and he’d become an older brother to four younger brothers and one sister.

- His parents taught him to show respect to his elders, and that’s stayed with him ever since. He could never entertain the idea of disgracing them with unruly behavior.

- Part of him does want to do his own thing. Not allow anyone to dictate his actions or feelings.

Theme Song: Isolation

Alexander (Age: 16)

- He had finally left his parents and chosen to follow his own path, this action didn’t please them. They’d given him an ultimatum, stay with them and inherit everything, or leave and no longer be their son. He’d chosen to leave.

- He shared a home with Ashton for some time, taking care of the male- he was completely attached to Ashton, he meant the world to him. He still means everything to him to this day.

- Despises anyone trying to control him- he doesn’t have to listen to them.

- Falling in love or feeling love- is new to him? Part of what he parents felt and believed had stuck with him too. Hence his annoyance with himself over falling for his darling, love wasn’t supposed tp matter to him.

- Hasn’t spoken to his parents in a long time, he had left them behind for a reason. There was no way he’d force himself to go back to them, not when he finally feels free.

- Anger and frustration had become common for him, there were so many things he couldn’t understand and people just really pissed him off. He assumed it might be best if he kept Ashton as his only friend.

[mlovesstories]

Feeling the Burn Part 5

Warnings: active self-harm, cussing, therapy, emotional issues

Words 2300

AN- Tough stuff, guys.  Read the warnings. 

Tag List

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Masterlist of Masterlists

“You have a what?” Danneel brought everyone water as she sat down next to Jensen across the table from YN.

“Half-brother.  Are you mad at me?” YN looked down and rang her hands together.

“No, of course not,” Danneel stared at Jensen, telling him to calm down.  

“I think we are just confused as to why you didn’t say anything.  You’ve been with us for over a year.”

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand.” YN huffed.

“But we want to.  You just have to give us a chance.”

“He never liked me, always treated me like crap when I was younger, so I just stayed away.  Learned to do that early.  Kenyan was always in trouble at school.  My parents didn’t know what to do with him.  I think he was the main reason they started drinking and being stupid.  I couldn’t go out or have fun with my friends because they assumed I was out drinking or doing drugs like he was.  So, I got a job and stayed at the library as much as possible.”

“Hence your good work ethic,” Jensen smiled.

“I try,” YN shrugged. “Kenyan would follow me or sabotage stuff for me.”

Danneel gasped.

“What?” Jensen turned to her suddenly.

“Those notes that were left.  Maybe he wrote them.”

“What notes?”  YN squinted.

“Someone left me notes about how you were a terrible employee.  We tried to find out who was doing it, but then it stopped.”

“I’m gonna kill him.” YN growled.  

“Let the detective take care of him.  He chose to destroy your life.  Don’t let him do it anymore.  You need an appointed security guard.  Anywhere you go.”

“Oh, Jensen.  No.  He wouldn’t actually hurt me.”

“Sweetie, he almost killed Jensen.” Danneel tried to calm the girl down.  

“I’m not having a warden.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Oh, shut up, you two.” Danneel slammed a towel down on the counter.  “Look, you are in potential danger.  I know the fire happened a while ago.  Why don’t we make a compromise.  You check in when you go somewhere.  If you are somewhere other than school for more than two hours, you check in.  Deal?”

“Dee, we need to be more vigilant than that-”

“No.  We are not going to change her life around.  If we don’t hear from her, we’ll call the detective.”

“Fine,” Jensen rolled his eyes.  

_________

“She hasn’t texted me back.” Danneel ran into the living room.  “I texted her ten minutes ago.”

Jensen whipped out his phone and called YN.

“Yeah?”

“ANSWER YOUR PHONE!” Jensen yelled.  “You were supposed to respond ten minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry,” YN whispered.  “I’m working.”

“I don’t care.  You text us back!” Jensen slammed the phone down on the couch after hanging up.

“Jensen!” Danneel yelled at him.  

“I’m going to go give her a piece of my mind,” Jensen stood from the couch and started to walk toward the door.

“Jensen Ackles!” Danneel stepped in front of him.  He froze.  “You better cool it right now!” He took a deep breath.  “My gosh, Jensen.  She missed one check-in.  And she was working.”

“He BURNED me! I could have die-” Jensen’s face dropped.  His wife recognized the expression on his face, and she closed the space between them.  

“I know,’ she whispered.  “But you’re here.  With me.  You’re okay.” Danneel felt something wet on her cheek.  “You didn’t tell me how much this has been bothering you.”

________

YN slowly entered the house.  Danneel and Jensen looked up at her.  She bit her lip and faced them.

“I’m sorry.” YN clasped her hands together behind her back.  “You’ve been crying.  I’ve never had someone do that over me before.  You’re crying because I didn’t listen, right?”

“No.  Come here,” Jensen sat up straight.  YN sat on the arm of the chair next to him.  “I’m not mad at you.  I realized I am dealing with the fire in a not-so-good way.  And I took it out on you.”

“You’re cutting?” YN looked at his collarbone.  

“What?  No.  I took out my anger on you.  Are YOU cutting?” Jensen asked, surprised by her thought process.

“I used to, not anymore.  And you have been cutting.  I saw it on your hips the other day when you were going to work out.  Your collarbone has marks on it too.”

“Jensen?” Danneel leaned back to see him.  “Really?” She asked softly.

“No, I-.” He took a deep breath.

“How come I didn’t notice?” Danneel said to herself.

“He hid them.  Probably told you they were scratches from fight scenes would be my guess.” YN surmised.  

Jensen looked up at her with sad eyes.  

“Good job, ladies.  You found out my secret.” The man sighed and stood up, exiting and leaving the girls on the couch.  Danneel’s eyes were watery.

“I promise he will be okay,” YN scooted to be closer to Danneel. “I struggled with it for a long time.  If we can help him now, he can fight it.” She opened her arms to the older one.

After a few minutes, Danneel sat up from being in YN’s arms.  

“You’re amazing,” Danneel smiled and wiped her last tear away.  

“Not really, just been through some stuff.”

________

Danneel walked into the master bedroom.  She found Jensen standing in front of their bathroom mirror.  

“Can I see?” Danneel walked behind him and wrapped her arms around him.  Jensen sighed, feeling defeated. He slowly unbuttoned his long-sleeved plaid shirt. Danneel walked next to him to see the marks on his body.  “Ouch,” Danneel said under her breath.  Danneel ran her fingers over the long, thin lines on his chest.  “These are newer,” she met his eyes.  Danneel saw tears about to spill over.  “No more of that.  No more tears today.  Let’s talk.” She turned him to face her.  “Why?”

________

“Why are you here, Mister Ackles?”

Jensen leaned back against his seat, sighed and crossed his arms.  

“Ah, you’re gonna be a hard one to crack, huh?” Dr. Brown grinned.  

“I’m only here because my foster daughter threatened to not go to her own counseling sessions if I didn’t come here,” he answered through gritted teeth.  

“You must love her very much.”

“Don’t placate me,” Jensen stated.  

“Just making a comment, Mister Ackles.  Not everyone has an agenda.  So, Cowboys, huh?”

“What?”

“You’re lanyard,” Dr. Brown nodded to Jensen’s keys on the side table.

“Oh, yeah.  Best team in the league.  Even when they aren’t,” Jensen smiled.  

________

“Stop it.”

“No, answer me.  How did it go?  You don’t have to give me specifics.  Are you glad you went?”  YN followed Jensen toward his room.

“I told him I only went because you made me,” he refused to look at her.

“And because you want to get better,” YN reinforced.  As they entered the master bedroom, she stopped right inside the door.  “Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“The razor.”

“No.  I’m not having a moment with you.”

“You want to get better?  Give it to me. I don’t want you having it unsupervised.”

“I’m not giving it to you.  You’ve cut too.”

“Then let’s throw it away.  Go get it,” she weakly smiled.  

“Fine,” he sighed.

________

“Mister Ackles,” Dr. Brown started.

“What? What do you want?  Can I leave now?”

“Well, yeah.  I mean, you’re the one showing up here.”

“Great.” Jensen said matter-of-factly. He stood up to exit.

“BUT-,” The doctor stopped Jensen.  “If you leave, I’m assuming you won’t go to another psychologist, and therefore you won’t get better.  Do you want to-”

“Yes! Yes, I do want to get better.” Jensen shouted.

“If you are going to remain in here, you are going to be quiet and not disturb the other clients in this building,” the doctor said deeply.  “Furthermore, that’s not what I was going to say.  Are you going to stay and try or are you going to interrupt me and then I kick you out?”

Jensen quietly looked away from the doctor and walked back to his seat on the couch.

“What I was going to say was: do you want to play a game for me to get to know you, or would you rather start telling me about yourself?  I still don’t know your motivation for coming other than your foster daughter said you should.”

“Whatever.” Jensen gave in.  “Look, my foster daughter, YN, and I saw some scary shit.  We made her go see her school counselor.  I didn’t think I was affected by it.  I blew up at her after she ignored our rules to keep her safe because of what happened.  Well, sort of.  I was stressed, and I had been thinking about what happened.”

“Sounds terrible.  Do we need to get to know each other more before you tell me?” Dr. Brown readjusted his shirt and waited.  

“Someone kidnapped her.  We found her, but then the guy got killed because he came at us with a knife.  Cop shot him.  Cop said to get down, so we dropped to the ground.  I covered her so that she wouldn’t get hurt.”  Jensen put his head in his hands.  

“Ah.  Yeah, that’s pretty messed up,” Dr. Brown agreed.  “It wouldn’t also have anything to do with that, would it?”

Jensen looked down to see the small scars on his skin.

“How’d you know?”

“Saw the news when the fire happened.  I recognized you from the news report.  Apparently you’re famous.”

“To some people, I guess.” Jensen sat up straighter.  “Yeah, okay, fine.  That’s the real reason why I freaked, okay?”

“And what does a fire that you were injured in have to do with YN?”

The doctor saw Jensen take in a deep breath and not let it out.

“Let’s try something else.  What do you like to do for fun?”

“Umm.  I like to box, hang out with my wife. I’ve run a few marathons.”

“Good.  You have some good coping skills.”

“I sound like a freaking science experiment.”

“No, you sound like you have some positive ways of dealing with stressors.  How’re the Cowboys doing this season?”

“Eh.  I just watch it right now to fall asleep to.”

“That’s what I use it for too,” the doctor smiled. “Tell me about YN.  She seems to have an impact on you.”

Jensen went on to explain YN’s history and what he knew about her. He told the doctor that YN had been through a lot, and she was seeking help.

“She is the hardest working kid I’ve ever seen.  Sad thing is, it comes from a terrible place.  YN had to be perfect at home.  We never put that pressure on her.  If anything, we try to get her to relax.  I’m hoping seeing the counselor will help.”

“Wow.  I can see the connection you have.  She is a lucky girl to have you and your wife…” he looked at Jensen’s file.  “Danielle?” Jensen laughed.

“Danneel,” he smiled.  

“Right,” the doctor nodded.  

________

So how’d it go?” Danneel wrapped her arms around her husband as she snuggled into him on the couch.  

“Okay.  I don’t like it, but YN-”

“If I have to go, so do you,” YN walked in and crash-landed to the couch next to Jensen.  

“How’s it going for you?” Danneel looked beyond Jensen to see YN.

“Okay,” YN said quietly.  

“Yeah, not so easy to talk about, huh?” Jensen growled.

“Oh, shut up, Jensen!” YN screamed and stood up.  “You’re not too good for this.  You almost burned to death.  Let’s be real.  And we saw someone die in front of this.  No big deal or anything.  Stop being an ass about it, and do the work!  You’re turning into my dad with your attitude and the way you treat me! No thanks! When I turn eighteen, I’m out of here!”

“YNN-“ Jensen sighed, defeated.

—————-

“You cut?”

“How did you know too?” Jensen rolled his eyes. “You gonna tell the world? Everyone seems to know.”

“You’re crossing your arms, wearing a long sleeve shirt that is Big and Tall. And it’s buttoned up all the way.”

Jensen stared past the doctor.

“Jensen?”

“Oh. Yeah. Fine, yes. Am I going to get in trouble with you too?”

“People don’t get in trouble here. I’m guessing someone found out?”

Jensen explained that YN found out first and then Danneel had been treating him with kid gloves since the girls found out.

“What’d you do with the blade?”

“YN and I threw it out.  She made me walk it to the trash. I didn’t want it in the house for her to find anyway.  She used to self-harm too.”

“Wow. You three are really close.”

“Not anymore. Not after a few days ago. YN won’t even talk to me, and Danneel is acting weird because she found out I was hurting myself. I know she looks me over to see if I’ve done it lately. She doesn’t say anything, but I know she does.”

“Can you blame her?”

“No,” Jensen sighed.

“What happened the other day with YN?”

“I told her I didn’t like coming here and I didn’t want to talk about anything related to therapy, and she flipped out and said I needed to deal with my stuff and just do it. No offense, doc.”

“None taken. I get it. People don’t want to talk about feelings. Psychologists are often the faces of negative feelings.”

“True.”

“Homework,” Dr. Brown smiled.

“No,” Jensen whined.  

“Therapy is work, my friend,” the doctor put his notes to the side.  

“Check on YN two times a day.  Text, call, be in the same room, whatever fits the context.  You don’t even have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

“That’s it?” Jensen squinted at the doctor.  

“You’ll find it’s harder than you might think,” Dr. Brown laughed.  “Go, get out of here.  I know that’s what you’ve been thinking about for the last hour.  You’re free, go home,” Dr. Brown opened the office door to a hallway.  

“Thanks, doc.” 

FEELING THE BURN

@supraveng​

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[nuoyipeach]

Anger Management (jaeri OS)

13/5/2020

Yeri skipped around the kitchen, preparing Jaehyun's favourite food. She was excited that her husband would finally be back early for once since forever it seemed. His work load was increasing so much that he was home for only a few hours for sleep before leaving the next morning.

Today, according to his friend Johnny, who was also Yeri's best friend's brother, Jaehyun had less schedules as he apparently cancelled some. She was shocked to hear that knowing how he always had a good work ethic, but it didn't matter since she could finally have him longer.

Once she finished plating his dish and the sides, she waited in the living room. Time went by and she couldn't keep herself up much longer as she fell asleep on the couch, waking up an hour later to the door opening. Yeri looked at the clock, and realised he came back later than he was supposed to, and the food was probably cold by now. Upset, she got up and waited for him, and saw him come in a staggering manner.

"Jaehyun..." she called him softly, only to get a grunt as he threw his bag and coat on the couch. Yeri felt hurt, and wanted to know what happened. She went closer to him as he sat on the couch taking off his socks. "Jaehyun why are you late?"

"Work..." he mumbled. Yeri thought it through, and felt he was lying. She was hurting even more now knowing he was supposed to leave the office earlier as everyone saw him.

"Why... Why are you lying?"

Jaehyun scoffed as he stood up. "Why would you think I lied? Isn't it normal for me to come home late? I had work to do. Why do you think I'm so exhausted?"

Yeri's eyes quivered as she stared up at him. "But you left the office earlier today. Johnny told me."

"So?"

"You even cancelled your schedule..."

Jaehyun groaned rolling his eyes. "What? Did you think I cancelled work and left early for fun? To relax? I had an emergency meeting with my dad. There's no reason for me to cancel schedules just to come home early. I thought you'd know how much work I have to go through, and all the stress. But I guess I judged you too soon. You know nothing about how I feel."

Yeri was shocked. Jaehyun was always the sweetest since they started dating three years ago. The reason he married her a year and half ago was because he was scared he wouldn't be able to see her as much as before because of his work. He wanted to make sure she was always with him, it gave him a peace of mind that she was safe in his arms, or at least house. To hear such things from a man like him, Yeri was more than upset.

Because he had no idea how she felt.

"Jaehyun... All I wanted was to have one dinner with you. It's been three months since we last sat together, and even that was just for your company dinner. You said it yourself, you married me so we could be together more even when you're working. But everyday I wake up empty, and every night I sleep alone."

"So what do you want me to do?" Jaehyun scolded, causing her to flinch backwards. "Quit my job? Stay at home all day and cuddle? Life isn't that easy Kim Yerim. Not everything has to be like those stupid cartoons you watch. If I can't make time myself for a proper lunch, how do you expect me to come home early and eat? I'm not the one laying at home all day, I'm the one working for both of us to live a proper life! If you don't know how I feel, then don't speak!"

Yeri was close to tears. Scratch that, she was already tearing up in seconds. Jaehyun groaned and walked past her going to their bedroom to wind down, and hopefully calm himself.

I don't understand how you feel? Well you're not the only one with feelings...

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Next day was a Saturday, but that didn't mean Jaehyun was off work. Weekends were usually scheduled for him to have his online meetings with their international investors. As he slowly woke up, he turned and threw his hand over... A pillow?

Jaehyun shot up when he didn't feel his wife's body, and went blank for a few seconds before he remembered what happened the night before.

Yeri came into the room and packed her medium sized luggage. Just as she finished Jaehyun walked out of the shower and looked at her, scoffing again. Yeri refused to even look at him and simply walked out the door.

She'll be back... he thought as he went to sleep.

But she wasn't. Jaehyun became worried, but his ego wouldn't let him call her to check, and he still believed she'd come back later that night. He knew her long enough to know she wouldn't run away for that long.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Unless you counted a month as a short time. Jaehyun was devastated. He finally understood what he did wrong. He thought Yeri was being childish and selfish, but he finally understood how she felt.

Coming home from work tired late at night is nothing compared to sleeping alone and waking up empty despite knowing you have someone you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Jaehyun's work started piling and he couldn't care less about it. His father noticed, and pushed him to finally take a month off work. He didn't tell anyone what had happened, he couldn't. As much as he missed her, his ego wouldn't let him.

But tonight he put aside it all, and finally decided to call her and see what happens. He laid in bed and stared at how her number was at the bottom of his recent calls. And he realised this was before she even left, that's how much he had neglected her. Taking a deep breath he called, and waited as it rang through.

The call answered, and he immediately sat up. "Yeri!" he called out a little too excited.

"No." he got an answer so straight forward, he was startled. "I'm Herin, her friend. You know, Johnny's sister." Jaehyun was even more surprised by how the person talked to him, as if she didn't even want to.

What if she knows...

"Where's Yeri? I'm her husband, I ne-"

"You weren't so much her husband when you neglected her feelings and simply watched her leave."

Jaehyun couldn't speak as words got stuck in his mouth, not knowing what to answer. "Where is she? Just tell me. I need to speak to her."

"She won't speak to anyone right now. She's busy. I'm surprised you didn't even know she had a job all this time." she paused, and Jaehyun could tell she was either thinking of listening to someone else. "But, I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Do you even love her?"

Jaehyun was taken aback by the question, and slightly offended. "Of course I do! I love her more than anything." he slightly yelled.

"When was the last time you said that to her!?!" she scolded back. And that got Jaehyun thinking.

He couldn't even remember.

"Can't remember? Well I do. You know why, because I was there. The Christmas party. How I know that was the last? Because after that, ever since you got that stupid higher position at that damn company, all I would hear Yeri say was he was angry. You don't even realise it do you. You don't even remember being mad at her every single time you get home. All that's in your mind is that stinking company, work work work. You didn't even realise I was there once when you came home and she tried to get you to eat with us and you yelled at her. And yet, with my own eyes I saw her helping to get you comfortable in bed, tuck you in, even kiss you good night. I don't know why she did that, when honestly I would've slapped you right there and then."

With that she cut the call, to tired to want to continue. Jaehyun couldn't move, speak, even his chest felt heavy. He suddenly realised what's been happening, how much of an issue he has. But why can't he remember all of it? He never realised this is what he's been doing, but other than Herin witnessing it and heir final fight, he couldn't remember a thing.

I need help...

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

An hour became two, and Jaehyun was more than upset by what came out in the results.

"Mr Jung, you have bad anger management issues. I suppose that's why you tend forget what you do, because you're so angry at the moment that you're brain doesn't capture it, hence why you don't remember what you do."

Jaehyun pursed his lips gripping the paper hard, tears brimming in his eyes. The psychiatrist could tell something must have happened for him to come speak about it.

"Did something happen sir? I know my patients, and you wouldn't have come here and now cry about your results if you didn't do anything."

Jaehyun looked away and wiped his eyes before coughing, then looked back at the doctor. "I didn't know. But I used to come home, yell at my wife everyday. I love her, I really do without a doubt. But... I didn't know. I didn't have control over this. All she wanted was one dinner together after months, but next day, she left. It's been more than a month, and she still hasn't called me. When I did, her friend scolded me, and that's when I found out I used to scold her, yell at her... And yet... Yet she used to take care of me when I slept..."

Jaehyun couldn't control himself, he cried louder and louder. The doctor simply passed him some tissues, and waited for him to calm down. She then looked at him, then at the results, and started typing out something.

"Yours is a little high, but it can be controlled."

Jaehyun stopped and sniffled before looking at her. "How? Please tell me, I'll really do anything..."

She then wrote something down in his file before closing it and giving it to him. "I've prescribed some calming pills for you. They're not that strong, so don't worry. But other than that, you need to practice controlling yourself, and try exercising out your anger. Maybe through boxing, or some sort of sport. Nothing is safer than that for anger issues."

Jaehyun took his file and thanked the doctor before he left to get the medicine immediately. After, he sat in his car, thinking about how he could find Yeri.

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"Thank you ma'am, please come again." Yeri smiled as she handed the lady her new bag. The lady smiled and left, and her phone buzzed. She checked to see a message from Johnny, furrowing her eyebrows since it was rare for them to text.

Johnny (Herin's bro) Heyy, where do u work???

Me Hi... Lotte mall. At the bag sections, same as Herin Why???

Johnny (Herin's bro) Just asking

She looked at it confused, but shrugged it off as she went back to work. After an hour or so of showcasing accessories, selling more items, and checking of stocks, she finally had her break time. Herin had just walked in and smiled as Yeri handed her the keys for her to keep during her shift before they both closed together.

Herin settled herself behind the counter while Yeri was hidden behind it packing away her heels, changing into sneakers for more comfort.

"Welco- Uhm..." she heard Herin cut off her words and wondered who entered the place for her to go quiet. She got up behind her, and froze in her place when her eyes met with the customer's.

Jaehyun felt the biggest weight lift off his chest seeing his wife after more than a month. He took long strides up to the counter and stopped in front of the cash register.

There was a long silence, broken by Herin. "What would you like today, sir?" she cocked her eyebrow. Yeri quickly looked away and went into the back.

"Yeri wait." his voice stopped her in her tracks, and she couldn't handle it. She quickly took her bag and walked out again, trying to walk past him fast, but obviously failing as he stood in front of her and blocked her way. "Yeri please, I need to tell you something."

Yeri looked up at him, and could tell he was being sincere. But she didn't feel comfortable yet, after everything that had happened, she felt like she didn't know him. She took steps back until she stood in front of the counter, Herin glaring at him from behind her friend.

Jaehyun sighed, knowing he has to come clean here instead of privately, but it's the only choice so he'll take it. "Yeri, I'm sorry. For everything I've done to you, I'm sorry."

Yeri nodded, trying hard not to look weak. "I- it's OK..."

"No it's not." he spoke up. "And I know I can't use this as an excuse, but... I need you to know. Here."

Yeri looked up finally to see him holding up a file. She took it, scared about what it could be, and could feel Herin peek at it over her shoulder. She read through the paper, until she realised what it was, but was too shocked to speak.

"Wait..." Herin spoke instead. "You actually have anger issues? And they cause you amnesia?" the two ladies stare at him until he looked down sadly, nodding his head. "So that's why you don't realise what you do to her, do you?"

Jaehyun shook his head as to reply, and noticed Yeri staring at him. He couldn't help it, and held her hand tight in his both, missing the feeling.

"Yeri, I know I probably look like I'm trying to find up an excuse for my behaviour, but I'm not. I just wanted you to know about this. And... I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say, but it's up to you now."

"What?" Yeri finally spoke after a long time. Jaehyun looked down at her hand, playing with her fingers.

"It's up to you, whether you still want to stay with me, or leave. Whatever it is, I'll understand because I know the pain I gave you can't be compensated anyhow."

Yeri looked back at the file, and saw a section saying medicine. She read through thoroughly, and looked back at him. "You're fighting it?" she asked vaguely. Jaehyun thought for a while, and nodded when he understood. She looked back at the file, then him a few times.

Finally she sighed closing the file and giving it to him. Jaehyun stared at her with apologetic eyes, waiting for an answer, when she suddenly held his hand. "We'll fight it together."

Jaehyun didn't waste a second before pulling her into a hug, and sobbing into her shoulder. "Thank you... Thank you for giving me a second chance Yeri... I- I don't deserve you. I love you so much."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Yeri prepared their dinner, like she has been doing for the past three weeks now. Work was still stressful for Jaehyun, but after hearing what happened, his father cut down his shift so that he had time to go home and rest enough like other employees. And Jaehyun tried very hard to control himself, with Yeri's help it was easier knowing you had support.

Once she finished plating, she placed a small tube next to Jaehyun's food. His medication was in her hands to make sure he never even mistakenly forgets a single dosage.

Just as she sat back, she heard the door open and shoes being tossed aside. She got up immediately and went to the doorway to greet her husband. His head hung low, and she could tell something was wrong. So went closer and held his arm, her other hand pushing his face up.

"I..." he tried to speak. "I broke my lamp today."

Yeri's eyes dilated in shock, but she quickly turned back to normal so he didn't feel even worse. "Why?" she questioned softly, pulling him inside. He dropped onto the couch, and she sat on the arm next to him, pulling his face to her chest as she stroked his hair.

"I got mad because my secretary didn't do any of the work that was due today and I had to make my whole department do it last minute. She wasn't doing her job at all, she only tried to flirt with me and other guys. I got so mad... I just couldn't control myself. I yelled at her and threw her out, but I felt so angry still, I... I threw my lamp across the room..."

Yeri silently listened to him, kissing the top of his head as he finished speaking. "It's OK. I guess what she did was very unprofessional, anyone would've gotten this mad." she pulled his face up and kissed him. "Let's eat, and take your medicine. Tomorrow's Saturday, so you can relax."

Jaehyun smiled and hugged her tight around her torso, nuzzling into her chest. She pulled him up for dinner, and they ate as they spoke about their days. Jaehyun finished up with his medicine, and soon went to shower and change.

Yeri laid in bed texting Herin about taking tomorrow off so she could spend time with Jaehyun. He came out of the shower, and got in bed next to her, hugging her again, face in her chest. Yeri smiled and snaked an arm under his head and hugging around his neck, the other stroking his face.

She knew this was the real Jaehyun. The one who loved to cuddle up with her, the one she held like a baby. He was always an affection seeker especially from her, and she never held back from doing so. Throughout those few rough months, Jaehyun realised now that he felt stressed not only from work, but from not spending enough time with Yeri.

He finally relaxed in her embrace, sleep taking over as she felt his body going limp. She smiled and kissed his lips softly before falling asleep herself.

"You'll be OK Jae, I promise..."

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[mittensmorgul]

So this morning I watched 14.20 again before looping back to 1.01 on the TNT loop. Ouch. It gets more painful every time it goes around, doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s just Sam and Dean look younger and younger every time. So much more innocent they seem by contrast. Whatever it is, it just gets better each time, too. :’D

But despite having sort of talked around this in the past, there’s one last thing about s14 that I need put down in words, for future reflection.

This whole post 14.20 pr buzz about there still being some conflict between Dean and Cas going into 15.01... yeah I mean... I don’t really think it’s as simple as Dean needing to apologize for the “you’re dead to me” or any lingering belief that one of them was somehow more responsible for any of the mess they’re in at the end of 14.20, you know? But there are some lingering issues regarding Jack (even knowing he’s going to be back “alive” very early in the season...).

I’m thinking specifically from 14.20, here. Cas was angry at Sam and Dean for locking Jack in the Ma’lak box. Rightly so, as we saw the horrific results of that play out almost as soon as he said it. But Cas also very clearly DID recognize that Jack did need to be contained somehow, that he was clearly out of control enough that containment was their only option. Hence his trip to try to get into Hell to study the cage. That wasn’t just a random notion, you know? The Ma’lak box didn’t contain Jack, and Cas was looking not for a way to cure Jack anymore, but a way to literally do exactly what Dean had tried to...

He’d already resorted to praying to Chuck for help back in 14.17. He KNEW Jack was in serious trouble already. And in 14.19 he learned how Jack had already been used and manipulated by Heaven. He knew just what was at risk here, and the potential for horror that Jack’s inability to understand right from wrong, and his willingness to trust could be so horrifically used... And he also knew exactly what was at risk here, including his own place in the Winchester family. This was not a small emotional challenge here. For Cas, this was everything.

Because the one thing Dean didn’t know when he made that horrible declaration in 14.18 was what Cas had already traded away in exchange for Jack’s soul. What Cas has literally sacrificed for the security of Jack’s soul, which was now apparently lost entirely. Cas sacrificed everything, for nothing, and this is what Dean gave him.... (but Dean, again, DOES NOT KNOW about Cas’s deal with the Shadow... he has no idea how much Cas has already torn himself apart over this, and if he DID know, I don’t think he EVER would’ve said that. He would’ve been even MORE horrified at Jack’s choice to deliberately risk his own soul to kill Michael, and at the result of that act... and horrified FOR Cas instead of angry AT him, you know?)

But in the end, Dean couldn’t pull the trigger anyway. It wasn’t Cas begging for Jack’s life. It wasn’t Sam pleading for Dean to stop. It was Dean himself, looking down at Jack, and Jack telling Dean he understood, that he’d been right all along, and that he was a monster who deserved to die. From that moment on, Dean joined Cas and Sam on Team Jack, and shouted down God yet again. 

So, I ask of everyone. What actually is their conflict going into s15? Other than them all displaying their usual “lashing out in anger from a place of extreme guilt and grief?”

The only thing left on the table for them to continue being mad about, from what I can see, is Dean learning about the deal Cas had made for Jack’s soul and being retroactively angry with him for so cavalierly trading his life for Jack’s. And honestly, does anyone see that ending in any way other than Dean having to admit EXACTLY WHY he would be so angry about Cas sacrificing himself? Like, forcing him to say in words “But we NEED you Cas!” and then actually having to spell out what that means? Because I don’t.

[jakey-beefed-it]

Trying to catalogue the ol’ comorbid disorders a bit so maybe i can do something about some of them possibly. Under a cut because hoo boy, not an exciting or fun analysis.

definitely have depression. prozac makes it better. not good. but better. manageable. no longer aggressively want to die. just sort of low-key don’t care if i do a lot of the time. sometimes forget that i have a physical form and am briefly almost happy. then see self in mirror or have difficulty fitting into a booth at a restaurant or smth and suddenly want to crawl into a hole and die

definitely have massive body-image issues (rimshot... see because.... massive body... because... it’s a fat joke... anyhow). sometimes wonder if i’m on the asexual spectrum but then remember how things were for me as a horndog teenager and probably it’s just that i’ve got a suppressed libido due to weight, depression, antidepressants, and overwhelming tsunamis of shame whenever i think about my body in any way shape or form

definitely have anxiety. plagued by nightmares and disrupted sleep and have like 2 full on anxiety attacks in any given year where i feel like i’m having a goddamn heart attack but heart attacks don’t respond to biofeedback, ya know? also, apparently, have night terrors such that i scream in my sleep. which is. kinda funny, in a humiliating way.

have been diagnosed as bipolar in the past but don’t really have proper manic phases anymore. at worst, have mixed states where brain is going very fast... about how much it hates me/itself/everything. less ‘mania’ and more ‘high-speed depression’. might not be bipolar actually based on -

almost certainly have adhd based on like... everything ...but reluctant to go and get a diagnosis and treatment because i’m so full of self-loathing that i feel like i don’t ‘deserve’ to get treated for being a useless sack of shit/due to just generally low self-esteem which is... wait for it... a symptom of adhd

apparently adults with adhd are like... pretty regularly misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. because they’re obviously depressed (being brainweird is depressing and alienating) but also often hyperfocus and such.

anyhow yeah. almost certainly have adhd, basically tick every single box but especially hyperfocus but especially rejection-sensitive dysphoria. i’ve gottan a much better handle on responding to creative rejection or perceived rejection with anger but that sure did used to be a thing for Young and Craziest Jake between like 18 and 24 who had NO idea what the hell was wrong with him but it sure was a LOT. i always had a pretty solid handle on interpersonal rejection in that it would make me feel shitty (sinking, cold, numb chest, physical pain) but i would respond with ‘oh.’ and try to get the fuck out of that social interaction asap rather than being an entitled asshole about it. but hoo boy did i used to view any perceived slight on my creative pursuits as like, a thrown gauntlet. i’m much better about that nowadays at least! just reacting with ‘oh’ and wanting to get the fuck out is more eusocial than being a prick about it.

anyhow basically perceive self as fundamentally loathsome and disgusting, inside and out, without merit or value, and so naturally all pursuits that bring fleeting distraction from that are prized but can turn to ashes real goddamn fast if they’re not *quite* distracting enough and i have a moment of self-perception. while, say, painting miniatures- the image of a hunched and stinking sack of lard making ugly expressions with an ugly face while concentrating entirely too much on something utterly irrelevant. can ruin it for days. not even sure if that qualifies as anhedonia (which is another big thing i DO suffer from) as opposed to like... anti-hedonia whereby all my hobbies just remind me of what a piece of shit i see myself as. to the point where the other day i was strongly tempted to take the sisters of battle minis i’m currently working on and just smash them to bits in a fit of misplaced rage. they’re plastic, it’s not them i hate, it’s my damn self, and so destroying something that i put a lot of work into offers the promise of brief catharsis without more direct self-harm. suppressed the urge thankfully- learned how to do that the hard way over the past decades, too. the aftermath is always achingly regretful and not at all cathartic.

anyway. this situation. it’s not good, obviously. should really do something about it. maybe seek adhd diagnosis. maybe try to work on self-acceptance both mental and physical. that’s incredibly difficult though. to unlearn years and years of messages from within (and without, sometimes) that i’m unacceptable. have tried improving, have had some success in becoming better person, have had no success in giving a shit about that and still focus on all the negatives. 

tl;dr this is basically that dumb nietzche quote ‘acute crisis; in bed all week’ that people meme on except instead of being in bed i’ve been having difficulty staying asleep and instead sort of standing around like

which admittedly is something i do kind of a lot hence my fuckening icon but yeah. acute crisis.

nothing anyone can do about it but maybe me, so i guess i’d better either do that or try and work into a hyperfixation so i can put this all aside for a while and just be in the zone.