#maybe grif..maybe carolina..

[doubleodonut]

bro you should bring back the rvb thing au frfr

I REALLY SHOULD. need to turn these chucklefucks into Meat Piles

something freeing about doing an au where they straight up all die. i need to rewatch the thing.

it's not a 1-to-1 replacement type deal but it would be quite similar.. i know i want tucker to be one of the last men standing, not sure about who else. ..church would be fun, but also church would make sense for "patient 0", as it were. hmm.

[p0kern1ght]

atp i dont think im ever going to finish my blue team lineup (but thats ok you already know what they [link] look like) so heres red team . Glory Be To The Red Team

[fischiee]

yorkalina “come on, let’s leave this place” vs grimmons “come with me”

[slyvester101]

Club au where the reds and blues work at a club that Carolina owns and totally doesn’t use as a cover for the undercover work she’s doing in the city with the Freelancers to take her corrupt asshole of a father down.

Church, being Carolina’s sister, hangs around the club basically every night since he gets free drinks and has become the official unofficial manager and recruiter for the place since Carolina and the Freelancers are usually too busy going on missions to take down warehouses or gang members working for her dad, planning missions in the rooms upstairs, or acting as innocent members of society that totally aren’t plotting to kill the Director and tear his illegal operations down.

The first of the reds and blues he hires is Sarge and Lopez, who are the club’s cooks. Sarge haphazardly tosses ingredients into a bowl and it comes out edible somehow? He doesn’t even toss in the necessary ingredients for the food; he put a chicken, a bag of chips, a whole bottle of garlic seasoning and a watermelon into the oven and out comes a beef burger with loaded fries. Lopez is in agony trying to figure out how he does it. But it always ends up good. In fact, it’s so good that it ups the club's foot traffic and creates a much better cover to all the cartel members coming in and out to talk with the Freelancers.

Grif and Simmons come next, Grif being the no nonsense bartender who gets to listen to all the juicy gossip going around the club as well as the annoying drama that gets dragged to his bar. He makes a damn good drink so the bar gets a little crowded when he’s clocked in and he complains endlessly to Simmons.

Simmons is a waiter/occasional assistant cook who can guess a person’s order just by looking at them (something about statistics and body language and a bunch of stuff that Grif calls him a nerd for) as well as know their intent and reason for being there with just a couple words. He weeds out a lot of undercover cops. They both get scolded since they constantly get distracted while flirting talking at the bar.

Tucker was next, a dancer with enough spunk and spite to fill the whole club and moves that leave everyone jaw dropped and star stricken. He loves dancing and loves entertaining the crowd even though he has to deal with a lot of shit (he can split-kick a sucker unconscious if they even think about touching him because unfortunately, people think they have the right to touch you when you show off a little skin and dance in front of a crowd. Sometimes people think they have the right to touch you just because you exist and they’re an asshole). But it pays well and he gets the freetime to spend with his son, who is the main reason he works hard for those extra tips to support him, so it makes up for the less favorable situations.

Caboose and Donut were hired one right after the other; Caboose being a bouncer who knows every patron by name (not always the right one) and can carry three full grown men over his shoulder with a smile on his face; Donut being a DJ/event planner/decorator extraordinaire and is basically just an assistant manager at this point with how much work he does with Church to keep the club up and running, but he refuses to take the title because it doesn’t “fit his vibes”.

All the reds and blues know some kind of illegal shit is going on with their bosses, but they stay willfully ignorant about it and only get involved when they think something will put the club at risk. They all love the club and all the people who work there so they work hard to keep it from being shut down by cops or blown to hell by a rival gang or whoever the fuck their bosses are fighting.

That being said, they’re all rather wary of the Freelancers despite Church’s insistence that they’re not bad people (mostly) and wouldn’t bring any harm to them (probably). Things are civil between the two groups, especially since the Freelancers are the one writing their checks, but there’s this underlying tension and nervousness that no one can seem to break.

The Freelancers are kind of disheartened that Church’s friends aren’t really keen to talk to them more than they have to, especially the dancer who hasn’t said more than a word to any of them and will literally get up and leave in the middle of a conversation to avoid talking to them.

This changes with the addition of Caboose and Donut, the two balls of sunshine giving the club a bit more energy, a lot more color, and a bit more balance.

No one is willing to anger the giant bouncer who can easily lift a table with one hand and the feisty DJ who can get you banned for life with another. There’s a lot less creeps roaming around and the whole club seems to relax at the changes Donut makes to the club and the safety Caboose brings.

Carolina seems to lighten up around Caboose, which in turn makes the reds and blues feel less on edge since she doesn’t look like she’s gonna murder one of them. York and North are finally able to get some more friendly conversation outta Grif and Simmons after Donut gets York and Simmons on a rant about hacking as North and Grif snicker at their geeky counterparts. (“I am not a geek! I am a nerd! There is a difference!” “The fact that you know the difference between a nerd and a geek makes you a geek.”)

Maine, who would sometimes work as a bouncer when not on a mission, finds Caboose rather companionable and likes to stand with him outside and listen to him chat during downtime. South comes by a lot more because Donut has somehow started a passive aggressive off between her, himself, and Tucker (and occasionally Church but he’s more overtly aggressive so he doesn’t really count). It’s a lot more fun than it sounds. Connie likes chatting with Donut and adores the gossip sessions she can get outta him, Grif and Simmons. There is a lot of tea to be shared around the bar.

Everyone agrees to keep Wyoming and Florida from meeting Sarge. That is a war crime waiting to happen.

Wash isn’t at the club often (none of the Freelancers are) and instead drowns himself in work with Carolina, planning and plotting and mapping and debating. He’s a bit more standoffish, a bit more gritty and a lot more like his Recovery One counterpart in canon. He’s cold, he’s calculative, he’s bitter, but he’s also patient and knows they can’t rush their takeover of the Director. It worries the other freelancers, seeing how mean and withdrawn he’s become, especially after knowing him as the upbeat, if nervous and oblivious rookie who did everything he was told with a smile and a lot of puns.

But he’s still convinced to come out for drinks to relax after a particularly stressful mission that went off without a hitch. For as distant as he’s become, he’s still a softy underneath and caves at York and North’s insistence that he needs to let loose a little after spending so much time under duress.

Wash hasn’t looked around the main level of the club since Tucker, Caboose, and Donut have been hired and is rather surprised by how lively and joyful the club has become. Caboose greets him with a smile at the door, happily introducing himself to the “new friend” coming into the club. He calls Wash “Mister Washingtub” and helpfully tells him that it’s performers night, so be nice and respectful to everyone who goes on stage or be kicked to the curb. Wash doesn’t doubt that with how massive the guy is.

When they walk in, he gets an armful of bright pink and a chipper blonde man guiding him and the other Freelancers to a reserved seating area near the front of the stage. York and North laugh at his face as he’s dragged by the hand of this upbeat man.

The whole club has changed since he was last there, much more open and welcoming, the decorations not as drab or outdated and the bar and stage have been renovated into something Wash can only describe as glamorous. Even the patrons and workers have changed, more smiles and jovial laughs echoing over the music, more people dancing on the floor or chatting at the bar. It’s so full of life and excitement that Wash is half convinced he walked into the wrong building.

He reacquaints himself with Simmons, the no longer skittish waiter with clumsy hands. He gets a polite smile from him before he rushes back to the bar to chat with Grif, the much more relaxed and not quite as grumpy bartender.

Wash is still reeling a little by the time the music stops and the man in pink is up on the stage starting up the event of the night. Singer after dancer after comedian go on and on throughout the night, entertaining the crowd and adding to the high spirits of the place.

It all comes to head during the final act, a dancer who has the whole crowd applauding before he’s even on stage.

Lavernius Tucker.

Wash is just as hypnotized as the rest of the crowd as Tucker swings and dips and spins around the pole on the center stage, showing impressive feats of strength as he pulls himself up and flips around with poise and precision. It’s beautiful and artistic and you can tell how much love and work has gone into the man’s routine.

The dance ends with thunderous applause and Wash sits there in awe at this graceful dancer taking bows and tips at the front of the stage.

Maybe he should come to the club more often.

[miraculousninja-345]

Chex from the season 7 trailer and Carolina trying to sleep but Epsilon and the other fragments are bingeing RWBY!!

I didn't make a post about it but I'm so happy got a new home and with VIZ!! I can't wait to see what future projects develop and get RWBY back on streaming (I only have volumes 8 and 9 on dvd)

[turkwriter]

The Reds and the Blues, older but not much wiser, make their return to Blood Gulch.

[karvviie]

would actually do anything to hear more about ur arcane rvb thoughts, who are the pilties who are the zaunites i need to knoww

wait okay i haven’t thought this AU out super thoroughly yet but here are my thoughts on what each character would be so far:

church - piltie who moved to zaun because of amnesia reasons. if we’re going along with rvb lore then he is possibly some kinda fucked up clone as a result of dr leonard church experimenting with the arcane.

caboose - zaunite, probably a relatively well known person in the community. known for fixing stuff for people but also breaking stuff.

tucker - zaunite, close to caboose. hangs out at kai’s club/bar a lot. they meet church in zaun and they all sorta just stick together.

tex - zaunite (allison was also a zaunite while leonard was a piltovan) maybe also a fucked up arcane clone of sorts?

wash - low-class piltovan who was an enforcer that got fucked over by the system and had to move to zaun. he becomes disillusioned with piltover. carolina was his CO at one point.

carolina - piltovan. former enforcer mainly because her dad wanted her to be one. similar to rvb lore she goes into hiding in zaun after a bunch of fucked up stuff happens and then she tries to go back and kill leonard with the help of the reds and blues which she meets through wash in zaun.

sarge - former enforcer who was discharged for various mental health reasons. possibly not native to either piltover or zaun so he dgaf about being loyal to either he’s just an enforcer bc being in the military is all he knows. but he ends up staying in zaun after he was forced to quit being an enforcer.

simmons - piltie who got disowned by his father (or possibly exiled) so he moved down to zaun. maybe a former student at piltover academy who got expelled for doing some stupid science shit.

grif - zaunite, lives with his sister in the club/bar that she owns in the lanes. simmons probably moves in with them after getting kicked out bc grif saves his ass from getting mugged and then simmons returns the favour by fixing a bunch of broken stuff at the bar or whatever. also yes grif and simmons still do the organ sharing/cyborg stuff in this AU.

donut - ok i’m actually not sure about him. i feel like he could work as either zaunite or piltovan but i think maybe he could be a firefly

doc - piltovan medic who wants to help less privileged areas in zaun so he often goes between cities trying to provide medical aid

[tuckersno1defender]

another thing that gets me about RVB is that we get all these small pieces of lore about characters scattered here and there but then they never expand on it or use it to flesh out these characters developments?

Like wdym North and Souths parents were the ones who put them in the Freelancer program? Why? Did they know that one of their kid was gonna have a fucking computer program implanted into his head???

And what about Kaikaina accidently burning down the family home and having su!cidal tendencies and unhealthy coping mechanisms because of it as well as her and Grif's unstable upbringing

How did Caboose and Sarge get to be basically prodigies when it came to robots/machines like Sarge made Simmons a cyborg and Simmons was able to still function normally still?

Also Caboose was able to give Church different bodies??? LIKE HE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH THAT BUT NOT WITH HIS OWN GUN????

What about the other freelancers?? Like we heard that story of York and Carolina meeting at the bar so they knew each other before rhe project?

Also what about Tuckers family? The fact that his mom died was said in the middle of a conversation like it was throw away fact but thay clearly something that played a huge role in impacting him and built onto his self depreciation that he masks with this "funny/idiot" persona when he's clearly so much more than that

Idk maybe some of this has been explained in other content that I haven't seen yet but there's so much unexplored with everyone it would've been nice to see things get explained upon a bit more

[mattastr0phic]

Thanks for all the kind words about our Simmons!

Meanwhile, stuff about RvB S19 Spoilers under the cut.

I want to start out with the movie definitely felt like they tried to put what love they could in it, but with time constraints, Rooster Teeth being shut down, and budgeting, a lot of character development and general awareness of where the characters would be left where they put them suffered. But Church and Tex reuniting with her being made of the memories of how she wanted to be remembered was beautiful.

I would talk more about how other characters felt completely sidelined, and it was definitely hurtful that Donut got basically nothing even if he was a part of the main team (literally just make an excuse about his armor. Or hue change him in editing. Not like it hasn't been done before) but I feel like most of it's already been said by others.

My most important note is: If Simmons is now the leader of Red Team.... what Red Team? What war? What people is he leading? His "leadership" developments consisted of: Running at the Meta, being called 'sir', and throwing something really well. He hadn't even displayed leadership qualities before he was handed the torch here, unless you count previous seasons where he still didn't manage it well, and realized it was a part of his own issues with authority.

I know it's all over already, but it would've worked better if he had been helping out as a leader earlier on, and properly earned it, achieving some sort of small victory against the Meta even if they were still beaten back for Carolina and Tex to take charge in combat. He'd learn that the position was exhausting, and that he would be done when their war ended. Maybe even funnel it into a different occupation. Go home with Grif. It's over.

[leonardalphachurch]

so i was inspired by @rvbrarepairweekdos to see what the least common ships on ao3 are but i couldnt really find a good way to sort that so. i made a spreadsheet.

nothings really all that surprising, but theres some interesting stuff here! such as:

there are 194 ships with only 1 tag. the most surprising to me was lopez/simmons. youd think there'd more than just one, with the actually having a pretty interesting canon dynamic and all. the one that hurt the most is temple/tucker........ i mean i know im also not writing it but T-T

the highest ship that made me go "huh?" was delta/maine at 66th. i guess guns for hire was very popular, wasnt it.

wash is absolutely the fandom bicycyle; he has the most tags, the most ships, and the most unique pairings.

grimmons is 1st in terms of number of tags, which puts simmons and grif and 3rd and 4th, respectfully, but in terms of ships theyre all the way down at tying for 14th. grimmons makes up 94% of grif and simmons' tags. the next highest ship for grif and simmons after grimmons is simmons/wash at 49th and grif/tucker at 54th. people really dont ship those two with anyone else, huh!

tuckington makes up ~47% of wash's tags and ~73% of tucker's tags. he also only has ~64% of the amount of ships wash does. free my boy tucker he deserves to slut it up.....

andersmith has the largest discrepancy re: number of tags to number of ships, going from 49th to 32nd (+17). other notable differences are simmons going from 3rd to 14th (-11), allison going from 27th to 39th (-12), south going from 16th to 7th (+9), and caboose going from 14th to 6th (+8).

there are 210 M/M ships, 116 M/F, and 43 F/F. M/M has 8253 tags, M/F has 2481, and F/F has 659. the most popular f/f ship is south/ct, coming in at 13th, with kimball/carolina close behind at 14th. the next f/f doesnt come until 45th with carolina/grey. not a very sapphic heavy fandom are we...

this was gathered using this page on ao3 on 8/9/2024. the data i have is based on how many TAGS a ship has, not how many FICS it has. some people tag their fics with the same ship in multiple ways. i dont really have anyway to sort that out with the method i used. is there a better way to get data about ships? maybe! but this was made MOSTLY just because i had so much fun playing with the data and spreadsheets and organizing. im probably gonna keep playing around with the sheet bc i have fun with data but im not sure if im going to add more ships in. maybe like a year from now. i dont really have a good way to clean the data except semi manually so.

[major-comet]

one of the things that’s most interesting to me about red vs blue

[and this is true of a lot of the shows i’ve watched over the years (here’s looking at you, star trek and rwby volumes 1-3), but i find it particularly true for rvb]

is that the writers seem to have very little grasp on what some of the most interesting and compelling parts of the show actually are, especially from a character perspective

so much stuff only gets kind of brought up, or honestly never even really touched on that would fully be enough to compel me as a character plot for an entire season At Least

like the whole “sarge is apparently some kind of robotics/surgery Wizard because not only did all of simmons’ cyborg parts not get rejected, none of the bits of simmons that grif now has rejected either. this is a medical miracle and it’s something about the pair that is almost Never brought up” thing. they barely even acknowledged that simmons has a whole ass robot arm, much less that grif is physically almost as much simmons as simmons himself is

or the “hey actually epsilon kind of just taking over as “church” actually has a lot of potential for body snatchers-esque horror that they never ever lean into” that i was talking about the other day

or how they only really explore the deeper effects of ai-human integration from a negative aspect - o’malley and the meta and such, but don’t *really* dive in on the effects it might have on a pair that works really well together. epsilon and carolina kind of get the closest to that, but even then it’s still pretty surface level. where’s the weird shit about a pair slowly becoming more of a *we* and those boundaries of human and ai blurring into human&ai in a way that feels not parasitic, but symbiotic? where both parties are not only aware of what’s happening, but perfectly content with it? like maybe i just have venom on the brain, but the ai are like the coolest shit burnie ever wrote and i feel like even though they drive the plot for huge chunks of the show they were barely explored. (i’m saying that delta and york should have had weird freaky mind sex. hello is this thing on-)

or the implication (confirmation? idk man it’s been a long time) that sarge may have been an ODST is actually a Massive addition to rvb’s underlying (and i think sometimes only dubiously intentional) themes of “once a soldier has outweighed their perceived usefulness, the government will not hesitate to cast them aside completely, no matter what they sacrificed for the cause, and this has negative lasting effects not just on that veteran but on society as a whole” that they do kind of sort of explore with locus a bit, but the implication that sarge was highly specialized and did a lot of particularly risky shit for the unsc only for him to, unbeknownst to him, wind up as a training dummy for soldiers perceived as “better” than him (and not even really that, picked explicitly because florida thought he would be totally harmless to the alpha) is INSANE and “sarge was an odst” mostly exists in rvb canon just as a joke but Jesus H Christ, man

there’s so much great material here that just got totally ditched for something else and it makes me SAD sometimes

[rubykgrant]

OK, you know the one "HRT is amazing"/"Why the fuck do you look like me?" meme? Alright, stay with me on this

You know some of the jokes/fan theories/fake seasons of "Maybe Simmons and Carolina find out they're half siblings" ? Alright, stay with me on this

You know how Simmons is as LITERALLY trans as a character can be, and there are many good trans Carolina HCs, as well as the joke of "Her name is just Carolina after she transitioned" and "Her dad just did not notice, all he knew was he sure had a kid"? Alright, STAY WITH ME ON THIS

Imagine a scenario in which everybody is trying to find out something about Freelancer/Charon's past shenanigans in order to maybe get clues about where Hargrove effed off to. So they find some physical folders with photos of Freelancer agents AND various Sim Troopers when they were younger. Sarge's picture is too blurry to see anything. However, we do see younger Tucker/Caboose/Donut/Grif/Kai, and then they open up Simmons and Carolina's folders. The pictures are of them, in their teens...

They have a BACKWARDS "Why the fuck do you look like me?" moment, and this is also how they found out they're half-sibs (plus, Dr. Sadboy was a cheater-cheater--pumpkin-eater. By the way, this is not to be taken seriously AT ALL, this was just funny for the backwards realization pffff)

[sco07ut]

how did i feel about the way rvb19 treated iys female characters:

dylan: weird???? she felt so mischaracterised. between that and the new voice she fully felt like a new character ☹️ it also felt like she was forced in for like no reason. in s15 she seemed to be like a pretty esteemed journalist so idk why she would be stammering on stage in a nearly empty comic con. peculiar and i think they could’ve made the intro so much better if it had been a bit more like s15. dylan having some sort of interview maybe, talking about the disappearance of the rnbs and still getting cut off by the meta but in a way that like actually feels like her ? like she wasn’t particularly afraid of spencer porkinsensen (or whatever the fuck he was called)

kai: i was hoping she’d get a cameo but christ not that short. where in the name of god was my kai + grif interaction. i also think she could’ve killed the meta with sheer cunt force alone, my girl was held back !!!! also so disappointed that she never got to see tex again

sheila: i was not expecting you!!!! but it’s so good to see you again. did they rescue her from charon or something?? honestly quite sweet.

479er: Really wasn’t expecting you ! she contributed to the plot really nicely, it didn’t feel like she was forced in at all. it would’ve been nice to see more of her though, i feel like her scenes happened Very quickly. i also would’ve loved to see her interact with the other freelancers (particularly carolina and tex) but whatever i can’t complain too much about her

grey: what did they do to you!!!!!!! who are you!!!!! you are not the emily grey i know and love!! you would have so much more consideration for wash ☹️ another case of being mischaracterised so bad that i fully didn’t realise it was grey until wash said her name. this might also be because the infinite armour looks absolutely nothing like her but i don’t know jack abt infinite so i can’t really say anything

tex: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I CANNOT BELIEVE RT ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGED HER PAST ENDING WAS SO DIRTY. wish she had maybe had a small conversation with the rnbs but honestly her saying ‘and in their memories i always kicked their asses’ was enough. she knows she’s the woman ever. i wasn’t expecting her to get sucked into the unit though :( like i suppose it makes sense to let her finally rest with whatever iteration of church was created when the ais merged but man i was looking forward to her joining the rnbs again and like idk getting to know her daughter properly this time?? severely missing tex and carolina content

carolina: where did you even come from girl!! where were you before you dropped out of the sky!!!!! i also wish she had spoke to the others & had like an actual scene where she was told sarge was dead bc they had like a weird little friendship going on and he’s just gone !! i feel like she barely did anything. she just dropped into the fight, did fuck all, and then revealed that wash has apparently been hallucinating the dead body of doc. erm

bonus ct + south: ct’s speech was alr i guess it wasn’t particularly memorable but it was nice that she was included tbh. though i was surprised south was in the freelancer lineup given she lowk bullied wash idk

in conclusion: my girls deserved better

[slyvester101]

Another headcanon for Tucker

Since Tucker is a black man stuck in the military with the same mostly white fuckers in a box canyon for years on end without any kind of salon/hairdresser/barber around, he gets fucking good at doing his own hair.

He orders all the stuff from Vic and has a designated ‘hair day’ for when he undoes, cuts, braids, or generally does his hair care. He gets hella good at it. He can do all the fancy, complicated shit. He can do the very mundane and simple shit too. He even learns how to dye his hair (it’s boring in blood gulch before Donut and Caboose arrived and kickstarted the next decade of shenanigans)

And since he’s the only “hairdresser” in the canyon, it’s obviously his job to take care of anything hair related.

He cuts Caboose’s and Church’s hair semi-regularly. Caboose lets him experiment and cut his hair however he likes, Church gets the same stupid haircut every time.

He helps Tex put her hair up in braids and buns when it’s just not cooperating. When Kai complains about a lack of hair care availability, Tucker gives her a full on spa day, treating and braiding her hair for her.

He also sometimes helps the reds with their hair. Sarge has only ever asked to borrow a razor (something Tucker still hasn’t gotten back), Simmons also gets the same damn haircut everytime, Grif has very curly and long hair like Tucker and often needs help taking care of/braiding it (especially since he’s too lazy to do it by himself) and Donut enjoys getting pampered whenever Tucker does his hair (Tucker doesn’t half-ass this shit. It’s a full production when Tucker does someone hair.)

He helps Wash and Carolina dye their hair. He braids Kimball’s hair into combat braids when she asks. He teaches the soldiers of Chorus how to do complex braids and how to do proper hair care while in an active warzone.

Taking care of hair, cutting, braiding, washing, it all becomes second nature to Tucker. It becomes woven (ba dum tss) into his very being. What used to be something he did out of vanity and necessity became something he did because he genuinely enjoyed it, because it brought him and the people around him joy.

Tucker using hair as an outlet, maybe as a coping mechanism. Tucker giving to others what he wishes someone would’ve given him.

A decent fucking hairdo.

[rvb-canon-grimmons]

RVB RESTORATION THOUGHTS!!!!

LONG POST IM SO SORRY I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS

(Im so sorry this got so long, but i got emotional while writing it so please bear with me, read this like its the morning paper while u eat breakfast or something i have alot to say)

Before I go into the things I didn't like I do want to focus on some positives.

-Like I said in an earlier post, Geoff's acting…he absolutely killed it, and maybe this is because I'm a little bit Geoff/Grif biased but he was giving so much emotion and everyone else felt a little bit flat. Also only he could have delivered the "Come with me" line with so much Homoeroticism -I Had a pretty fun time watching the fight in the second half, The references to Monty we're sweet and getting to see Tex and Carolina fight together was pretty epic! -A good handful of jokes got me good. "23rd in my class" Shelia translating Caboose's Spanish to Lopez

Ok……. the next bit of this will get a little bit negative, but I do want to say this is coming from a place of deep love and care for this series. I have run this blog for like 6/7 years now and I've been a fan of this show for double that. My biggest fear is that fans get the same treatment we did when no one liked RVBZero. I have criticisms. This is a 21 year old series that so many people have had a part in and so many have loved. I was not looking for perfection, I wasn't even looking for something good. I was looking for an ending to the stories of characters people have held in their hearts for 21 years. Unfortunately, what I feel we were left with was a hastily thrown together hour of basically nothing.

-Why weren't they friends…..Why weren't they friends…No one cared for the others. I understand that we have semi warped perceptions of the characters from fanon works and things of that nature. But even in canon, the reds and blue care about each other. On their own team and the other team. Simmons, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose spent MONTHS together in chorus and same for Donut/Sarge/Wash. I've recently rewatched blood gulch and Caboose and Sarge have a great dynamic! Tucker and Grif canonically get along pretty well. Simmons was ON BLUE TEAM for like a hot minute there. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. This was zero percent present in this film. No one had any motivation to look for Tucker. No one cared that it was Tuckers body inside the suit. THE REDS LEFT CABOOSE FOR DEAD!!!!!! THEY JUST LEFT HIM!!!!

-Tucker, I'm so sorry baby girl, this was supposed to be your arc, your moment. You were hardly in it. No build up to how he became the Meta. The scene where he breaks out of it to not kill caboose was the best part of the arc. And he just wakes up and remembers it "like someone elses Nightmare??" ok sure

-Wash………………WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? WHAT THE FUCK???? TO RUIN THIS MANS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC BY MAKING HIM COMPLETELY OBSOLETE. PUTTING HIM IN SOME RANDOM HOSPITAL FOR AN UNKNOWN INJURY THAT HAPPENS OFF SCREEN AND ISN'T EXPLAINED. HAVE HIM HALUCINATING DOC FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. HAVE HIM SHOW UP TO THE FINAL BATTLE AND DO ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING BUT JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND NOT SAY A WORD TO ANY OF THE RED AND BLUES I AM LIERALLY ABOUT TO FUCKING CRY TYPING THIS I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. AGENT WASHINGTON, THE CHARACTER THAT WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SEASON RIGHT BEFORE CHORUS JUST TO BE ON BLUE TEAM AND HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY AGAIN. JUST SIDELINE HIM FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND THEN NOT LET HIM SPEAK TO ANY OF HIS FRIENDS EXCEPT CAROLINA AND DEAD DOC. AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT TUCKER BEING THE META WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT CATERED TO HAVE WASH BE INVOLVED. THIS IS LIKE AGENT WASHINGTON ANGST BAIT 101. YES IM A TUCKINGTON SHIPPER BUT PUT ALL SHIPPING ASIDE, THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS, THEY WERE FRIENDS THEY WERE FRIENDS.

Grimmons. I am disappointed. But really not surprised. Honestly for everything I disliked I thought Grimmons was handled ok… at this point im like….. they couldn't even throw us a bone. company was dying, final season airing, and they couldn't even throw us a solid Grimmons queerbait joke. Its whatever….I don't wanna get too upset about shipping because at the end of the day, ships becoming canon isn't what shipping is all about (says Tumblr user "RVB-Canon-Grimmons) you get what im saying.

-Donut…..where was he…..Fucking Homophobic honestly

-DOC IS DEAD?????????????????????????????? FUCKING WHY???

-Sarge's death was fine, I'm not upset by it I just didn't feel like it was emotionally satisfying. Especially after the shock of them leaving Caboose and the much better scene of tucker fighting the meta's control over him to not hurt caboose.

-PEOPLE CALLED U SIR ALL THROUGHOUT CHORUS SIMMONS WHAT THE FUCK??????????? WHY IS SIMMONS PROMOTED AND INCHARGE OF NO ONE???? WHY DID GRIF LEAVE HIM???

Im sorry………..this is so long………just remeber this is only my opinions and if u don't agree thats totally ok!!!!! I am just a critical bitch….

[whimsybats]

Red vs Blue x Shy!Fem!Reader

╰┈➤ So there's basically like no content lately for my funky lil space marines.... I'd like to change that.

I'll still be writing my Batfam stuff too but I do want to add a bit to the RvB x Reader side of Tumblr.

I'm also not sure how often I'll post for RvB content (or any in general but I really want to get into imagines/headcanon writing yk?)

But here's my first shot at a RvB x Reader ig? In headcanon format.

Here's how I'd like to imagine a more soft/shy!reader in the canyon, I'm writing as a fem!reader because it's what I'm more comfortable with. [also I'm a sucker for more soft/shy inserts, sue me LOL]

-Reader is seen as a baker, gamer (you can choose table top games or video games), etc to have a bit of variety in interactions. I'd imagine you can fight to a degree like everyone else but social interactions aren't your strong suit.

✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧

So, you ended up in the shitty canyon of Blood Gulch. In training you weren't known for any outstanding leadership or other skills when it comes to fighting so you were sent here.

To top it all off you're the only female in the canyon... that is until Tex shows up.

Imagine being on Blue Team, I'd like to think Church tolerates you a bit more than the others for being "less annoying" in his words.

Tucker absolutely loves to tease the shit out of you, he'll absolutely try to "woo" you since you've been the only girl he's seen since he's got here.

I think after a while he'd probably stop "wooing" you knowing you showed no interest, but would still tease you.

When Caboose comes around, he would probably follow you around like a lost puppy since you're the only one who is nice to him at the time.

You'd probably have baking days if you had anything good sent in from Command.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

I'd imagine when Tex comes in she enjoys your company a bit more than the others, both being girls... and you're less loud and more tolerable. If she's fixing up Sheila (the tank) she might have you there to help hand over tools and such.

You and Doc might bond being the more quiet ones in the canyon... you might hand him over some baked goods when he would be around, whether they were made by you or one of your teammates (the most likely other one would be Caboose, I'd like to imagine he at least knows how to make a small variety of cookies like chocolate chips, sugar cookies, maybe those peanut butter cookies?) He'd probably try to get O'Malley/Omega to spare you in his plans lol

Oh boy when Donut joins the reds, be prepared for you guys have sleepovers with him and Caboose and let's be real he'd probably drag Doc in (especially in the later seasons).

Being one of the more shy people in the canyon, each of the people might try to get you to be included in the chaos one way or another.

When you get to Chorus, you're probably with Tucker, Caboose, Simmons and Grif. If Felix feels flirty, you probably get dragged off the most by Tucker or Caboose since they notice your cues the most, maybe Grif if he happens to be around (he'd just invite you to raid the mess hall which you'd only accept to get away from the flirting). Caboose might try to take up most of your time as possible unless you're split off for missions.

Wash and Carolina try their best to train you, without scaring you off. Initially you were scared of them when they first showed up, you pretty much have scary guard dog privileges now.

Sarge might try to do a typical over-the-top plan with the reds to support you in some situations if you happen to team up with them against a mutual enemy like the Meta. (might be more post-Wyoming/Prophecy "arc" maybe like s6/Reconstruction)

Although when you're enemies you definitely feel like you could shrink into your armor when you hear his loud booming voice, but since you're there to fight you still stay and fight, you just won't be as involved as Tucker and Church when negotiating, sometimes you pull them away if you have an idea and have one of them shout it for you

You, Grif and Simmons might have chill movie/game nights when you can. (if those are even possible??) You might try to sneak in to the red base but Sarge might let you pass anyways since you keep Donut out of his hair often.

maybe pt 2 later? lmk what you think! (idk how to write for shy!reader well but hopefully i'll improve soon..)