#maybe if I stay here long enough.

[fierce-in-my-own-skin]

Candles. Coffee. Bath.

[newoozi]

your new friend vernon is walking you home one night, telling you all about the date his mom is setting him up on in an attempt to “get out there more”. he admits it’s been a while since he’s taken somebody on a date, and he’s sort of nervous and half dreading it. he doesn’t even have any idea what he’s going to wear.

the two of you reach the front of your apartment building, and you face to look at him. placing your hands on his shoulders you teasingly say, “wear that navy blue polo shirt of yours. it almost makes you look nice.”

he huffs out a small laugh in response, but the truth is he’s sort of spiraling. you notice what he’s wearing beyond an aesthetic sense? do you pay attention to how the shirt fits him perfectly, how it hugs at his chest and shows off his arms? of course, vernon knows he’s attractive — people swoon over him on the daily, and many times he can get away with not paying for ramen at the convenience store if the girl at the counter is young. but, it never crossed his mind that you thought about him in that way. it was different with you, wasn’t it?

he thinks about that, and you, on the way back to his dorm.

you text him to ask about his date the next night, the curiosity getting the better of you.

how was ur date? did she appreciate the polo?

he admits he didn’t wear the polo, but doesn’t offer any explanation as to why. he adds that the date was going fine until they were saying goodbye and she went in for a kiss on the cheek and he held out his hand. he probably won’t see her again.

you laugh out loud at his message.

when it’s your birthday a week later, he wears the polo to the casual dinner you host at your place with your closest friends. he notices when your eyes linger on his lean figure, and the way you blush when you know you’ve been caught. you’re almost sure he’s worn it on purpose.

[crimeronan]

there's a place in my neighborhood where a lot of kiddos hang out because there are a couple cheap restaurants & convenience stores open late without any bars/age-restricted venues nearby. it's extremely well-lit and by several busy roads and one of the safest places i've gone when walking at night & the kids have always been extremely chill towards me. so i was completely flummoxed today by a review of a business there that says it's in a """sketchy area""". until justice pointed out that it's definitely BECAUSE the kiddos are there that this random asshat thought the area was sketchy.

.......if you are genuinely afraid of a bunch of sixteen-year-olds minding their own business in an incredibly well-lit parking lot. then like. i truly do not know how to help you.

Git Gud....????

[taegularities]

just thinking thoughts

[rinofwater]

I just found a clinic nearby that does gender-affirming surgeries so top surgery might actually be a feasible thing for me in the near(ish) future

I found a job that seems to have all the stuff I liked from one of my last jobs without the extra bullshit I didn't (can't apply for it currently but that kind of job exists and that's reassuring)

Things might be starting to look up for me

[toburnup]

I don’t understand why people care enough to negatively comment on work because they don’t like a character…

I don’t like some characters that my friends reblog and I just scroll past like a normal person, I’m not going to dictate or judge what people like and I can’t stand the way people say “oh I block people who like *insert character they dislike*” like it’s so petty and strange… I like all your work I think you’re a great writer do I ship all the same people as you? Nope but does it bother me? Not at all. There is no letting people have fun in this fandom I swear to god!

i find it very odd. it's especially easy to avoid on tumblr, so i don't understand people's reactions (also, sorry, i accidentally wrote a whole essay here)

i'm not sure if it's because so many people in the ST fandom are newer to fandom in general, or it's just how things are now (i'm afraid it's this one), but i find that a surprising amount of people see any interest in a character as like... symbolic of someone's personal morals and values. and this is especially rampant among steddie shippers which is unfortunate. i block a ton of people on twitter because they say "hellcheer dni" and then i see passive aggressive messages on discord about how i blocked them. is this because people make the media they consume their whole ID? or people trying to play activist? (i've said it before on here but my activism isn't an online activity for me, it's my work and it's my personal life, and i'm intentional about separating these. i don't share much about my life on here on purpose).

billy anti's are actually scary at times. i personally don't see the logic of harassing real people in the name of fictional characters (and this is a generalization, but most of the time it's white shippers pulling that shit which just feels performative at best). this isn't billy-related, but joseph quinn fans bullied a jquinn fan account (run by a woc) off of twitter because she wasn't retweeting social justice-related posts. lmao. people really see sj rt's as the be-all and end-all of Being a Good Person. like people have lives outside of fandom and they can't see that.

LONG STORY SHORT, i know that posting my hellcheer and metalsandwich fic is going to make some people hate me or whatever, but i'm really tired of feeling like i can only openly like and enjoy steddie in order to have value here. if people are going to stop reading what i write, or blacklist me or whatever, i'll make my peace with that. and let's be real, who's really the one losing out in that scenario? because it's not me.

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[arcaneyouth]

gonna be honest with yall if tumblr does actually go under for real this time i'm probably not leaving. i'll be here until they actually pull the plug on the site and then i'm going to start going on walks instead of spending time online.

[floral-hex]

Okay okay, I usually hate posting selfies, but then again, I also love a little mild attention. So, to strike a balance, here are 4 recent ones, but I’m posting them at 2am so I don’t have to worry about bothering too many people. Yeah? Ok thanks I love you

[korrasgonefishing]

On fem!Mako and femininity

Some things that every girl seems to get just don't stick with Mako - makeup smudges easily and perfume clashes horribly with her firebending (you wouldn't want to know how it smells when it's lit). She decides to grow out her hair. It seems pretty simple to do and to take care of, and maybe when it grows long enough she could tie it up in a top knot to connect with her fire nation heritage just a little bit more.

This goes pretty well at the station, no one comments much. The rudest collegues who want to point and laugh that "the rookie finally remembered that she's a girl" feel chef Beifong glaring at them miles away and stop, settling for a neutral compliment or nothing at all. She is nicely surprised to know that her hair is actually curly. Nothing bad. That until her hair reach shoulder length. Mako catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and gets a horrible unexplainable feeling. It's so strong she can't bear to look at herself. She rushes to the hairdresser (she would usually cut it herself, but not after Lin has recommended her a hairdresser - she can't not respect that) and tells them to cut it short but keep it a little bit longer in the back. This works and she doesn't think about growing her hair out again. The next time she and Asami meet on their lunch breaks, Asami is shocked that a fashion choice this bizarre actually looks good on Mako.

When grandma Yin shows her and Bolin a photograph of their parents, she finally gets what exactly that feeling was.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad

[basilica-gel]

something they don’t tell you is that when you exercise regularly in your 20s it fucking rules. im not talking about going to The Gym or whatever im talking about getting silly with it. go find a rock climbing gym. take a dance class. play outside with your friends. this shit is awesome

[musubiki]

okay thinking what if while like travels around he actually finds where mochi is at but she has to hide so he doesnt find her. and shes like looking at him from her hiding spot and gets so torn up about it

UHHGG MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE WOULD BE SO PISSED AT HER IF HE WOULD EVER FIND THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

[queercode-my-minecraft]

Thinking more road trip au thoughts... I just love those out of time feeling liminal spaces like laundry rooms or gas stations way past midnight... just the thought of Xornoth and Joey in silence at one of those..

Oh my god, yeah

The exhaustion as they lean against the back wall, trying to make the out shape of the bag of chips or whatever in front of them, and the electric light (that’s kind of giving them a headache) flickering above them

The sound of footsteps and they don’t even need to turn to know who it is, because as soon as he gets near he just sort of melts by their side- leaning against one another, holding hands and just looking at the bags of chips or whatever in front of them

Or, wait, Joey is especially spontaneous so he probably forgot to bring all that many clothes. Imagine if they have to stop at a laundry room to wash their clothes and they don’t say anything as they sit, time moving not at all as they look at the laundry going round and round

And, they’re always empty places. They’re always alone and there’s something nearly supernatural that makes them scared that if they stop looking everything will start moving again and they’ll lose each other for good this time

[piplupod]

yet again i am trying to figure out how much to tell the counselor/therapist about how bad things are getting bc the considerations i must take into account include:

1) will i be put into the psych ward for this, and

2) will telling a professional actually help me, what kind of help would actually be available for this, and

3) are they going to give me more medications that don't actually address or fix the root of the problem while still giving me awful side effects that I'm just supposed to deal with and hopefully not end up in the hospital for

[courfee]

i lowkey wanna post snippets of my fic on here because i need attention and validation to motivate me to write more because for some resaon i decided it was a good idea to write long ass chapters again instead of shorter ones that might just get me more people to tell me how absolutely cool i am (the reason was that this is a 10 things i hate about you au so obviously i cant have more than 10 chapters) (its a struggle) (i am struggling) (i need someone to pat my head and tell me im doing good)