#but honestly even in person im getting a bad feeling like everyone is fake and im making this all up. so. ha. goody goody great for me :)))

[piplupod]

yet again i am trying to figure out how much to tell the counselor/therapist about how bad things are getting bc the considerations i must take into account include:

1) will i be put into the psych ward for this, and

2) will telling a professional actually help me, what kind of help would actually be available for this, and

3) are they going to give me more medications that don't actually address or fix the root of the problem while still giving me awful side effects that I'm just supposed to deal with and hopefully not end up in the hospital for

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Advice Column Issue No.1 ; How to deal with fake friends while balancing school life 🎀🧁

Hii Dolls!!!⭐️ This is officially the first issue of my Brand new segment The Advice Column!!!! and i chose the topic fake friends bc as someone who’s had an alarming amount of fake friends in the past i can definitely give endless advice in this topic and its a collab with the @honeytonedhottie !! bc i thought she could also give so really good advice!!🎀⭐️

Are you struggling with keeping up in your studies? worried if your friends are talking behind ur back? Stressed? Feeling like school and socials are just to much??? DONT WORRY!! Dolly n Honey are gonna save the day!! 🎀⭐️

Section 1 ; Honey!!🍯

how to balance ur school and social life (in bullet points) !! 🎀🧁

- make a list of priorities and stick to it like its a handbook

- practice saying no to events and saying no to excessive studying, the key is to find an equilibrium

- combine social and academic events

- make sure to use ur time wisely and do whats important first, so that then u can have loads of time for ur social life!

Section 2 ; Dolly! 🎀

No.1 ; Stand up for yourself!! ⭐️

if ur so called “friend” is constantly make smart remarks about you,scrutinizing you for the smallest thing,being passive aggressive or really just trying to hurt your feelings always stand up for yourself and never let insult like that because that shows that you have no self respect and then they’re gonna just keep doing it set clear boundaries and don’t be a doormat never let this person/people walk all over you , if you didn’t appreciate something they said don’t take shit from them address and make sure it never happens again

No.2 ; spotting a secretly fake friend⭐️!

now there’s obviously “friends” that you can spot from a mile away that they’re definitely toxic but theres also a certain type of friend that could be the sweetest to ur face but secretly talk shit behind ur back and its honestly not that hard to spot one of these “friends” so here are some characteristics of ‘the secretly fake friend’

- never sticks up for you

- constantly lying

- at time can be very passive aggressive

- will tell you that someone was talking about you and not defend you at all

- will make you feel like a bad friend even if they’re wrong in the situation

- if you’ve ever confronted them on their behavior and they say they’re sorry but then repeats the same actions

- lets their other friends talk shit about you

- HUGE VICTIM COMPLEX!

these kinds of fake friends are tricky bc you really can’t spot them at first and then it can be harder to cut them off which brings me to my next point

No.3 CUT THEM OFF !!⭐️

listen i know its hard to let go of these people at first im mean I’ve had to do it multiple times but i swear it gets sooo much easier to not have these people in ur life its way better to have no friends than a bunch of friends thats secretly hate you don’t stay caught up on toxic people like this its a waste of ur own peace and well being , block them,stop following them,stop talking to them have NOTHING to do with these people/person

No.5 ; Ur not special !!

now this title is a bit alarming but what i mean by that is if you have a friend that’s constantly talks down about people for no reason whether it be their friends or someone they know and im not talking about the standard gossip talk bc tbh everyone gossips but im talking about like drags them through the mud calls them mean names and purposefully spreads rumors about other people they’ll do it to do you as well ur not special i doesn’t matter what this person is telling you they’ll talk about any and everyone it doesn’t matter people like this do not care

No.4 ; Being Un-phased !! ⭐️

now after you cut them off either gonna

A. make it seem like they’re innocent and have been nothing but nice to you and try and make you feel bad

B. Act like theirs beef when in reality theres not they just want a reason to start a problem

C. to the standard mean girl remarks side eyes,whispers,random pointing and slightly laughing, or even in some cases talk loudly about you but indirectly

now in any of these situations never let it bother you show no reaction these kinds of people feed off ur fear of them shows no reaction when it comes to things like this and you can also do it back side eye them back,give them weird looks back now im definitely not saying be just like them but play their game don’t let disrespect like this slide and i know how hard it can be especially since these are people ir support be close with but i promise making friends that actually care about you is WORLDS BETTER!!! you’ll have such a peace of mind and being able to make friend that actually care about you is such a freeing feeling!!!!

Reminders!!! 🎀🍯

- they’re opinions don’t matter

- these people are no above you in any way shape or form

- stress is normal don’t let it get to you !!

- you deserve much better friends

- it normal to feel sad after cutting them off

- this person/these people don’t deserve you!!!

- you got thiss!!!

[artsyannierose]

Talk to me about how Angel always being scared of ruining his first healthy relationship (with Husk) so he tries to be as “easy to love” as possible but Husk loves him flaws and all:3.

(Btw I cherish your doodles)

Huskerdust doodle just for you anon <3

I COULD TALK ABOUT HUSKERDUST ALL DAY ANYDAY YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON

Well let’s see hm Angel has had little to no experience in relationships

Like bro was a closeted gay when he was alive and presumably had no proper “relationships” with anyone other than Valentino and…well we know how that turned out

So he probably is going to have a hard time even comprehending the fact that Husk even loves him for who he is as a person and not to bed him like literally everyone else has

Like honestly when was the last time ANYONE gave Anthony/Angel Dust aftercare??? I’m willing to bet never. Everyone he’s ever slept with never stayed till morning or let him get even maybe a glass of water, he was just kicked out after business was done and done. Then he would just cope with all of it with drugs and Valentino I assume

Now he’s got a man who already made it clear that he doesn’t want this fake Angel Dust persona that everyone else wants to sleep with because of what they see on their TV screen, but is rather interested in getting to know this broken boy behind the facade. Nevermind the fact that they are together, Husk is first and foremost his best friend (aside from Cherri but like Cherri is his bestie to get into shit with yk) and the kind of understanding they share is way beyond “yeah you’re hot let’s fuck” like Husk is no fuckbuddy if hes fucking Angel then obviously he’s there to stay (which i love about him)

So Angel’s automatic response because of the derogatory way Valentino has treated him would be “omg I can’t mess this up i canNOT mess this up” and he would do everything in his power to make sure Husk is thoroughly comfortable and never shows any signs of disgust or such if ykwim. Husk is a bit too flustered at Angel flirting a bit too much? He’ll dial it back tenfold. Husk pins his ears back at listening to Angel vent about Valentino doing something shitty to him? Angel will change the subject. He’d probably be so overly cautious about Husk’s little reactions that Husk probably isn’t even aware of himself

Because the problem now is Angel thinks Husk loves him for how Angel makes him feel rather than Husk loving him for who he is. He’s just. In denial man. So he tries to basically “pay him back” by being the perfect boyfriend, and i say this assuming they HAVENT slept with each other yet because if they haven’t figured this out Husk would probably say its too early lmaooo. So when I say being the perfect boyfriend, i mean like cuddles and kisses and helping each other out, venting, all that cute stufffff

I’m sure Angel is just trying to doeverything he can without like alerting Valentino to the two of them because BOY that would end badly.

Anyway one day Husk asks him why he’s not really being himself (because of course Husk can read him because why couldn’t he) and Angel’s like “wdym” and Husk just prompts him like “you hide all the bad parts from me much more now than before (like before they got together) and maybe Angel isn’t even aware of this until Husk points it out. It’s gonna take him a second to open up just because he’s not used to it but Husk just makes him comfortable, he’d total all put Angel in his lap and just purr until he’s comfortable nskdnfssfiwvagfjnderhgr

Angel finally pours out his insecurities like a tide and hides his face in Husk’s chest while everything just comes out once he’s started. After hes done he would say something like “I didn’t want you to see me like this…im so sorry” but just bury himself further into Husk while Husk is just taking a second to process everything he just said.

Hed probably do something sappy like tilt Angel’s chin up and peck his lips before telling him “What makes you think I wouldn’t love you past your fears and flaws?” (IDC I WANT SAPPY IM. HERE FOR SAPPSYYPYYPY)

Hold on holy shit creativewriting burst right here SHORT DRABBLE YALL I WILL REBLOG THIS WITH A SMALL FICLET

ANYWAY YES HUSKERDUST ANGEL PROBABLY WILL STYART CRYING AND HUSK WILL JUST CUDDLE HIM CLOSER AND WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS WHILE ANGEL CRIES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HUSK

GOSHHHHHHH I love them sm I’ll shut up now ok bye

why can I write an essay for Huskerdust for free and not write one to save my English grade-

[whole-circus]

Can you do when the Proxies, Eyeless Jack, and Slenderman, find out the reader has a extra appendage like a tail? Although the reader doesn't hide it they just use it like a belt but rarely use it?? (How has your day been? Also please make sure to not stress yourself)

Creepypastas with reader that has a tail!

➥ with "Ticci" Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman

Hi love!!! Thank you and remember to take care about yourself too!!&lt;3 Im going a bit insane in my room lol But I hope you felt at least okay!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

"Ticci" Toby

Toby finds you so cool! He wouldnt really notice at first that its actual tail, but how long he can stay clueless? When he finally gets it, he is so excited i swear. You almost make him wish that he had tail instead, but he cant complain since his partner have it! Toby will beg you to touch it and play with it, he is way happier about the tail than you (and you literally live with this things.. with tail, not toby). Loves to lay down with you and cuddle, your tail wrapped around his hand/ leg/just anything. Loves playing with it when he needs to keep his hands busy. Toby would be also respectful if you dont like having your tail touched becasue i can only imagine how sensitive it is, just say the word and he will act like it doesnt even exist congrats, now he will play with your hand!

Masky

Honestly wouldnt make a big deal out of it? Masky is a simple man, and i feel like he wouldnt even noticed at first if you wear it as belt, would just think that you have weird fashion sense but who he is to judge?? But then it turns out that its actual tail? You are person of many suprises, arent you? Listen, he would definitely calls you some of this cheesy petnames like kitten or puppy just becasue of your tail 💀..like please, punch him or something. Overall good boyfriend, will fight for you and stroke your tail??

Hoodie

Good luck with him! Hoodie wants to touch it a lot! Its not like there are a lot of chances in life to pet someone tail, huh? Who can blame him in such cruel condictions..? Even if you use it as a belt, he loves when you just..let it swing by itself! That way he has easier acces to it, and i mean it - boy is in heaven. He would definitely tease you so so much! Hoodie will anno and you can expect at least couple of funny comments about your tail daily (or at least he thinks they are funny). I see him wearing a fake tail just to mess with you to be honest. Hoodie isnt the worst person, you will definitely get a lot of attention from him! Is it good or bad? I will let you decide!

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack really enjoyes having "not-so-normal" partner (well, in term of being a human). He tends to be a bit insecure sometimes about what he is, so you make it all a bit easier to him to be honest. Doesnt feel as weird - and of course he doesnt want you to feel this way! He is pretty observant (and well, have amazing senses), so propably noticed it when you used it as a belt, no need to tell him twice! Absolutely loves to make you flustreted!! Will tease the shit out of you, i mean it. Definitely will like to caress it and play with it (pls he is a bit like a cat), later will chuckle in his husky tone when you are embarassed and tell him to stop

Slenderman

Slenderman wont say too much..well not like he is the most talkactive person! He is fascinated by people, loves observing them and to learn about their nature..does it really matter for what reasons? We will just move on with that.. Anyways, if you ask me, Slender as not-human-creature likes seeing how everyone is diffrent event tho he had seen already a lot! There is really tiny wall between his hate and fascination for humans. But dont worry, its you who we talk about! He will ask some questions, but in his subtle and gentlemanly way! It doesnt matter to him if you are a bit diffrent, becasue he sees it more as your advantage than disadvantage! Slenderman would be more into intelect than look anyway i think. Wont touch your tail tho..well maybe not without your consent, but he just doesnt really care, he has seen almost everything in his 'life'.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚　

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for converting to another religion?

Also just so i can find this im gonna type a word.

'DUCK'

Names are fake

I (FTM, minor but not really but yeah, i'll be a legal adult in no time so will by boyfriend, also I'm closeted to everyone except my boyfriend so assume any treatment i get will be with me as a woman) am agnostic. I don't hate religion at all, i respect and understand believers and when invited i participate in religious activities mainly doing it out of love for the person or because they seem genuinely fun.

Anyway, i have this boyfriend, Kenny, who i love very very much. I wouldn't say our relationship is 'perfect' because that is impossible, but we are close, happy, communication is good, i wouldn't ask for more. He makes me happy, he's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Kenny is jewish, he let me know few days after we started dating because he wanted to be open about it in a serious relationship. I 100% respected that and we had a warm lighthearted chat about it, he knows i'm agnostic, he respects that.

It's been a few years, and Kenny's family grew to love me.

With his family's consent, Kenny invited me to a few religious activities with them which i enjoyed doing because we were all in a happy mood. Over time I became comfortable around the family, we're friends now.

Let's skip forward, Kenny and I were having a conversation late at night cuddling in bed, and he brought up religion. We kept chatting, until he asked me if i would be interested in converting to Judaism.

I was kinda shocked when he asked that, one of the few moments he genuinely did something i didn't expect. I stay quiet, before answering with a low "I don't know, maybe?"

We leave the topic there, he wasn't mad or anything, instead he nodded and we just kept chatting about other stuff still cuddling.

It's been a few weeks after that, and the question is still there in my little brain. I've been doing research on Kenny's religion to have a better understanding of the question he gave me, and honestly? Doesn't sound like a bad idea, i'm up for it.

I brought it up to Kenny and he seemed glad that I actually remembered the question. It's nice to see everything is taken calmly.

However, part of the hesitation came from my doubts about changing 'religions'. I don't think agnosticism is like a proper religion, i mean it's not even Atheism level. But i have an understanding of how religions work from my Catholic childhood, i was raised Catholic. So if i'm correct most religions are given by birth, I feel like it would be an AH move to break the rule over an idea my boyfriend brought up.

His family seems okay with the whole thing though, so i have mixed feelings.

Is there actually an AH part of the decision, or am i overthinking it?

(sorry for bad English)

What are these acronyms?

[thequietkid-moonie]

Moonie-chan , do still write for oshi no ko and nier automata?! If yes !!! Could you do ai hoshino, Ruby hoshino, 2b, with male reader ( if you don't mind) who's have cheerful,dedicated guy,very optimistic, with dreams and bright world views.experienced a great sense of freedom and tried to experience everything life had to offer with childlike optimism. Please.... You so lovely moonie-chan, love you 💋🫂❤️

Cheerful and optimistic S/O has a great view of live

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Ai, Ruby, 2B ]

[ Oshi no Ko ] [ NieR Automata ]

While I was writing it i just understood how much im bothered by this kind of people (the ones that are extremely optimistic), nothing personal I juts hate life so i despise the extreme optimism, or at least I don't tolerate it much from strangers (thats the reason why I hate Rengoku)

Anyway, please remember I only write for gender neutral, I want everyone to feel included while reading, u know?

Ai Hoshino

It could be easy to think that you two have a matching personality for how Ai always acts in public, but the reality is that you two are quite the opposite, Ai isn't really optimistic and cheerful, she just put a facade for everyone when deep down she is filled with insecurities and saddness

Ai actually like a lot your personality and is a little envy that all that cheerful attitude is natural for you, but at the end she likes it, and having a relationship with you give her the opportunity to stay with you all she can

Ai end up learning to imitate your own cheerful and optimistic personality, taking a few quirks of you and adding them to her facade, trying to play a even better role as an perfect idol for her fans, but deep down she feels a little flustered because this way she can feel you closer (specially since for her work you two can't be together much time or even just make public your relationship)

Honestly, Ai likes you more than she could understand or even admit, your cheerful attitude is the complete oposide from what she truly feels, you are what se doesn't have, what she doesn't feel, and thanks to your relationship she is slowly learning new pleseant feelings, feeling of happiness and love

You are kinda what Ai needed on her life, she is surrounded by pressure from her work, envy and mistery, but you are so natural and loving, your smiles are never fake and your optimism came from the botton of your heart, and she can't help but feel fascinated, is something completely refreshing to her usual enviroment, it makes her heart skip a beat sometimes because of how real you are with all of this, or whenever she remember that this person she admires and loves so much loves her in return, and loves her for real

Ai feels like the way you see the world is kinda childish, she knows a world too diferent from the one you seem to know, Ai's life is surrounded by pressure, insecurities, she is exposed to harsh coments and claims on her person, asking to be more and more, even herself is a lie, the Ai the world knows is a facade, while you see the world with brightness, your eyes sees beauty and hope in everything, always saying that even if today was a bad day tomorrow can be a better day. Ai can't help but think you are amusing and silly, but that doesn't stop from liking the way you see the world

Ruby Hoshino

Ruby tent to be more cheerful and optimistic, even a little childish, so your personalities normally just match with each other, understanding each other in their view of life

Since Ruby wants to be an idol is more probably that you two will have to keep your relationship as a secret, still with your personalities matching you two can easily be seen as best friends if you don't make too obvious your relationship. What, at the end of the day, isn't too wrong, you two can easily considere your relationship as best friends and lovers

Your cheerful attitude can either be loved or be hated for your friends, because whenever you two are together that attitude just multiplies, for example Kana gets easily annoyed (specially if you are being affectionate) while Mem-cho kinda like it, constantly just matching your own energy and end up be like a group of caotic teenagers ready to eat the world. In the other hand, Aqua isn't too bothered by it, he just likes seeing his sister happy, but will make sure you don't mean any harm to her or that your stupidity blindful optimism doesn't lead you two to troubles

As much Ruby is optimistic and childish she may not be as much as you are, and there are a lof of things she admires of you, your great view of life is something of that, she does tries to don't think the worst of people but for what happened to her mother and for being in the media she is exposed to criticism, hate and even people who tries to make her see bad on everyone, so having you is quite refreshing, your great view of life lead her to have one too, influenced by your own she tries to see things in a bright light too (much to Aqua's annoyance because he is trying really hard to protect her sister, and this just trigger his overprotectiveness since he is the literal opposite)

Even in moments that she is more calm and wants just to relax she likes talking with you and asking for your opinion, truly interested on hearing it and discovering more of your point of view of diferents things, is probably that at some point she will also ask you what you think about what happened to her mother (without telling you who is in reality)

2B

2B feels troubled by her relasionship with you just because it brings her so much joy but sometimes she feels like she doesn't deserve it

At the start it was dificult for you two to get together for 2B's insistance that feelings are forbidden for a YoRHa unit, but no matter how much she used to repeat it that would never stop her from falling in love with you, deep down she always knew that not feeling anything it was imposible, specially with you around. It took a while but at the end 2B accepted her feeling and finally accepted to be in a relationship with you

2B feels completely fascinated by your personality, even when most of the time she is serious and even just focused on her duty she just can not be infuenced by your cheerful attitude, she doesn't admit it much but she like having you around when she go out of the resistance camp because she likes the way you see the world, even when she seem like she isn't paying attention or that is too focus on her surroundings she is actually paying attention to what you say or your reactions, she loves just hearing you talks or see you whenever you find something new or something catched your attention (and if 9S is there with you two is even more fascinating! your personalities match really well, but sometimes is too much for 2B's heart)

Even when she doesn't look like it, 2B sees a lot of herself on you, your way to see the world one so hopeful and beautiful, you find the world fascinating and even with all the dangers you always thought it was a world worth of living on, and that is something that goes straight to 2B'S heart because, even when she doesn't feel exact the same, she also things that despite the danger and the reason why she was created, despite what YoRHa was doing to her, she also thought the life was worthy to living because she has you and 9S. She normally doesn't say much about your way of thinking, and if you ask she normally answer that she doesn't know or isn't sure because she doesn't want to tell you all that troubles her heart, but your way to see the world really brings her a lot of hope

2B grows really protective over you, she loves you with all her heart and, honestly, she thinks that you are more that she could even ask for, even sometimes feels like she doesn't deserve you (mainly for her truly purpose), so she tries to overcome her insecurities and determinated for her love she had promised to herself to protect you and your bright heart to all cost, no matter if you are a android or human, even if you are a machine she will protect you, always with the hope of having a peaceful life with you, someday somehow

[my-castles-crumbling]

I have a problem Cas… I think im in love. 

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this. 

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life. 

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone. 

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex). 

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real. 

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest. 

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar. 

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start. 

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food. 

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet. 

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue. 

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white. 

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on. 

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same). 

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm. 

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes. 

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell. 

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last. 

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed. 

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess) 

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.  

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday. 

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments. 

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day. 

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).  

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have. 

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

[carpedzem]

I'm gonna be honest this shit just reminds me that ccs will do anything to keep the fame on them. It reminds me of dsmp and the fact that half the people there just didn't like Dream, but pretended they did for clout. It truly just.... makes me sad at how fake some of these people are. They're willing to fuck over the working class people (which what most of them were before) just to get a bit more clout from this damn server that is known for treating it's staff like shit and then when they try and to actually get paid everyone gets fired.

Like I get the ex workers not being as aggressive due to being young fans plus being harassed by the current ones. Older ccs not seeing the obvious sketchyness of this all just seems like their putting on their blindfolds to keep their current fanbase and popularity.

i know we should learn our lesson by now about cc not being such a close friends after all but honestly the part of georges 2nd respons when he talk about how hes looking back at interactions with other cc differently now fucked me over a little bit bc dteam came into this community so open and willing to share and wanting to make friends. dream was so eager to just add friend of a friend into dsmp, he created that massive document for tommy. even at the con george saw caiti as a friend - according to him of course - just another person that is similar to him. you can dislike dt attitude, you can dislike dream ego and georges not being able to be serious for 5 minutes or sapnaps competitiveness. but making them bad guys only bc they have negative, human traits, and happened to also get popular is just so, so sad

i hope they will be able to hold on real friendships and they there are some more in them. im actually glad that it seems that dteam has some friends outside cc sphere and i hope they keep them grounded and make them feel loved. by the end of a day everyone deserves that

[astolfofo]

bruh i wrote this on a whim. but it needs to be said.

tw: manipulation, yandere. Nothing too much. It’s pretty mild, but it’s dazai so idk what to say. 

bruh if this flops im gonna actually cry tho. I actually used my brain to write this. even tho I used causual language and this ain’t that formal ughsdfhlkdsj. but also sorry if it’s really bad. I didn’t even proofread this I just copy and pasted it into tumblr. Also, if the ending’s kinda messy or if there’s like grammar mistakes... pls tell me I literally am so braindead rn i can’t read

would also tag people this was inspired by but this is actually half shitpost and that would be hella rude of me to do that so. lmfao. (translate: i don’t have the balls)

===

I see so many people thinking that Dazai would fall for someone cheerful, and bubbly, who would approach him first.

Honestly, I disagree.

I think the opposite. Maybe it’s because I see part of myself in Dazai (and Yozo from the No Longer Human), or maybe because it’s simply because I’m not a bubbly, happy, person in general (but i wanna be with him jkjk unless… ) but. I personally disagree with that headcannon, I don’t really see it happening. Obviously, there are cases of characters liking an innocent, sweet, bubbly darling (cough. Nikolai. Chuuya. Akutagawa. Atsushi.) But, for Dazai… I feel like that would be too boring for him. Not as in he wouldn’t like it that way… but it would be too easy for him, ya know? Like there’s no challenge, there’s no… interest in doing that. Why would Dazai want someone so open, so innocent, so bubbly and kind, who would listen to anything he said? That’s not even genuine, that’s fake. Everyone has their own secrets, their lies, and they create a fake mask for everyone else to see. They wouldn’t want to show their true self… because it’d make them not only look bad… but also we’d all be extremely vulnerable. And violent.

Dazai knows this better than anyone else. I’d like to think, anyways. And innocent people like that, whether genuine or not, usually would deter him because they’re… too easy to pursue. Despite being a good liar himself, I don’t think he’d want someone who would fake the niceness, because it would be obvious from the start. Dazai doesn’t strike me as someone who would enjoy breaking his darling down (that’s Fyodor’s thing bro would definitely like someone who is fake). He has some morality, he doesn’t like using mind break. After all, that goes against what Oda told him to do. However, he’d definitely enjoy mind games, he’d like to pick you apart to get to know you better. Better than you know yourself. And once he does, he can leverage you however he likes to be his ideal woman. Even that manga q and a (I’lll find the link later) said that Dazai likes all women because he can make them into what he wants. Someone who’s outright innocent and kind wouldn’t be able to achieve that effect for him. It doesn’t offer him the challenge, it doesn’t offer him any kind of challenge in just manipulating someone innocent who barely hides anything. That would be a bad thing, and even his skwered sense of whatever morals he has would disagree with it. He wouldn’t even be able to fall for someone like that. Simple-minded people, just aren’t for him.

So, in prose, I’d like to offer an alternate idea: Dazai would like a darling that’s, obviously to a similar intelligence as him (otherwise they’d be… too easy), but very distant. Not as in a “they have a mask on”, kind of way. But in a. They’re apathetic, cold, and aren’t great at communicating kind of way. I think it’s an interesting dynamic. The first time when Dazai sees them, he may not even think much of them. Neutral cold face doesn’t say many sentences and wants him to leave. Maybe a slight fear of him, that he approached them. However, as time passes by, Dazai realizes he likes them. He genuinely craves their presence. He notices the way you don’t exactly know what his motives are, he enjoys the way you flinch when he touches your hands, or blush and do not know how to respond to his comments.

He sees all of it. And he wants to see who you really are. Behind your true mask. Maybe you’re a narcissist. Maybe you’re just a kind innocent person. Or maybe… you’re just as empty and lonely as he is. Whatever you are, he’ll eventually turn you into what he wants. It’s just a matter of time.

It’s like he’s looking at a Christmas present, and trying to guess the contents inside. The curiosity kills him. He wants to look at what it is now, but he can’t. He can’t. Until it’s Christmas day. So in the meantime, he’ll do everything except pull down the thin wrapping paper, and the apathetic, cold face you put on for everyone around you. It’s rather difficult actually, you do a pretty good job at covering your true self. You’re a skilled liar, you can control any physical reactions you have towards his questions.

But that just makes it all the more addictive.

The second you slip up, even just for a tiny. Little. Bit. Dazai is able to pinpoint a lot about you. It’s almost like he tore off a corner of the wrapping paper on his present, and he’s knows a lot about what it is. It’s more than he expected. It was just one facial expression. A face of shock, to anger, and then you calm yourself to the best of your abilities again. It’s barely noticeable to the average person. But that’s the thing. Dazai isn’t average. 

He’s the smartest man you’ll ever know.

It makes you feel conflicted. And you’re aware this is probably where Dazai wants you to be. And it is. Dazai finally was able to make a dent on the thin walls inside your mind. The walls that separated your true self, from others. And he’d pick and tear down these walls continuously until he was able to see inside.

But for Dazai... it’s his Christmas day. Dazai felt like his efforts... his waiting, his long awaited efforts were finally rewarded. All it took was one little slip on your behalf, one tiny little tear, for the wrapping paper to completely fall off. And as it lays discarded on the floor, Dazai admires the gift. He admires you. Your mind is such a vulnerable place. Yet in its own way, it’s beautiful and fragile. He feels like he physically cannot tarnish it. Yet... you’re so much more different than he thought. 

You’re niether a kind person, nor a violent one. You’re not broken, you’re not depressed nor anxious nor scared. You’re not nearly what he idealizes so much, and you’re not some insane slave to your ideals. No... what was inside that box and wrapping paper all this time was similar to a piece of piece of glass. Plainly boring in its own way... yet beautiful if shaped in the right hands. 

You’re a blank slate. Sure, you have your own trauma, your own struggles, desires, and wishes but... he’ll still do as he wants to you. 

And you won’t have a single say in it. 

You’re a blank slate. A canvas waiting to be drawn on. And draw on you he will. 

He’ll admire you, he’ll protect you, he’ll... do anything and everything to make you love him. You’ll.... you’ll learn to love him.

And in return, you’ll be the only one who will see and understand his true self.

[megantrancyfanfics]

Hold you close | Sanemi Shinazugawa x reader fluff

Oh how this boy hates to see you cry💔

Warnings: mentions rengoku’s death

Credit to the person who drew this it’s cute 💜

Also, gender of the reader is not mentioned.

Enjoy 💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day was cold, the sky wept with everyone as the news that the flame hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku had passed. The sound of the rain bouncing off the butterfly estate, and the sobs of mitsuri filled the area. A few sniffles were able to be heard, but you couldn’t focus on anything.

The first hashira you met after becoming Mitsuri’s tsugoku, your best friend, gone..just like that?

Your mind started to flip like a book, each page flipping to show snippets of your favorite memories with the 3 of you hanging out. His pretty smile, and laugh that could brighten up a whole room, you could hear it vividly as if he was right beside you.

You felt a warm hand land on your shoulder, snapping you out of your dazed expression.

“Shinazugawa..” you mumbled.

The man didn’t say a word, his usual grumpy face just slightly softer than normal. A quick head tilt was his way of telling you to follow him.

Before you could process what exactly you were doing, you were at his place.

“If you stood in that rain any longer you would have caught a cold.” He said sitting down, his eyes focused on the floor for a second before meeting your expressionless face. “How are you doing?”

Your eyes widened before meeting his. The Sanemi Shinazugawa was worried about you.

“Huh? Oh I’m fine. I didn’t know him that much anyway..” you said faking a soft smile.

“L/n.”

“I feel bad for mitsuri though, she’s taking the news horribly”

“L/n.”

“If this is how badly she’s taking the news she’s gonna be a wreck for the fu-”

“L/n!” Sanemi said getting off the couch, placing both of his hands on your shoulders to make you stop rambling.

“You’re not fooling me. I know you’re hurt to. You spent a lot of time with him.”

Your eyes started to fill with tears, as your chin started to quiver. You bit your lip and adverted your gaze, begging to whoever is above to not let you cry in front of the wind hashira.

“…I know I yell at you about being strong all the time..but you don’t have to be strong in this situation. You’re allowed to scream and cry and hate everything. You need to grieve and not shove this inside.”

“Im fine..plus the crow is just old and dumb rengoku is fine, in a few days he’ll be walking back he’ll tell mitsuri and I all about his mission. Even when he’s all bruised up and exhausted he always bounces back. He always does.”

“Not this time l/n. He’s gone.”

..Finally, everything hit you. The numbness subsided, and all of your pain, and frustration hit you. The tears came rolling down your cheeks. You sobbed.

Your face became red as you apologized profusely for being week in front of Sanemi.

And that broke his heart. Seeing the way you’re crying over your friend, yet still worrying about being strong made him feel so small and weak, he hated it. He adverted his eyes, and simply placed his hand on the back of your head and pushed your face into his chest.

“There, now you don’t have to worry about me seeing you being weak.” He mumbled, lightly tracing your back with his fingers as a calming technique.

“I..happen to not be finding you weak right now..just so you know.”

“You dont..?” You sniffled out, turning your head to the side, the sound of his heartbeat thumped in your left ear.

“Nah. In fact I think right now you’re being really strong, Stronger than me honestly. But don’t let that get to your head this is a one time thing no one is stronger than I!” He said lightly hitting the spot on your head his hand had been resting on.

“Ow..that’s mean.”

“Yeah whatever. But you being able to show emotion during this fucked up time makes you really strong. But you still need help in the muscle department.”

You giggled as you sniffled again, trying to calm down from the wave of emotions that consumed you.

A silence consumed the room, sanemi was starting to fear that it was awkward for you.

“Hey..”

“Hm..?” You asked looking up at him.

Sanemi took his thumb and wiped your tears. ‘Better’ he though.

“So umm…do you want some Ohagi?”

“Yeah.. *sniffle* I would like that a lot.”

For the first time in a while, sanemi smiled. This fiery white haired man’s heart fluttered. He hated that right now you were hurting, but this man loved that he was getting able to be so close to you.

He hopes to be the only one to hold you close to him, and be the only one to wipe your tears.

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is I just dont get it...why do endos want to be this? and why do people think others want or are faking all of this? Plural culture is I cant LIKE anything anymore. Plural culture is even if im ACTIVLY TRYING to not split and to ignore it all and just keep on keeping on and pretend my system isnt there I STILL split. I cant sit down and enjoy my day because my brain will take SOMETHING, ANYTHING, NOT EVEN A PERSON SOMETIMES and if I got enjoyment or even suffering out of it then its just THERE now and a part of me is missing. Plural culture is missing parts of yourself, loosing a skill or talent you loved that shaped who you were, forgetting the faces and voices of your loves ones, getting your memories rewriten for you, blinking and missing days or sometimes years. And thats just MY experience as host! Others in my system having to live their lives in the backseat, never being able to have one of their own or feeling like their hole point of existence is to make me happy or make sure we dont die. Sometimes I see how tired and drained the protectors are, how strung out the care takers are, the gatekeepers putting on a brave face for the good of the system to make us feel like maybe at least ONE of us has SOME kind of control only to find out that even they dont know everything or have control over it all. I see alters who are dating in our system wish and beg for a body just so they can hold hands like normal. Or others still who have had relationships outside the system wish they had a body independent of this one to go and be with who they want and do whatever they want. Its NOT all suffering and disorder yes of course and thats so very valid but like...even the most well adjusted systems deal with flashbacks, triggers, panic attacks I mean for fuck sake its not just some fun game or even a coping skill! Id RATHER NOT split or disassociate to be able to cope! Honestly id MUCH RATHER do things myself then switch but unfortunately I simply CANT no matter how much I want to! I HATE how low our split tolerance is because SPLITTING ISNT FUCKING FUN even when its painless! Even when its so subtle you dont notice! Because you loose something, a memory, your feelings, your sense of self gets rocked off its balance and honestly sometimes not knowing a split happed is WORSE cause youll just randomly start feeling like your not you anymore with no explanation as to why! Its so frustrating to see a bunch of people emulate the "fun parts" of my disorder and then when I get RIGHTFULY upset and say "hey its not like that it actually kinda sucks" they turn around and emotionally manipulate a group of people who are NUTORIOUS for not being believed by saying "Well because no one believes you then you should believe me because everyone has a different brain so actually I say that you dont need to be traumatized and have any of the bad shit your talking about and I get to have all the cool parts of it and your trying to oppress me by not letting me in your spaces" like???? Okay, so sorry for the rant and talking about endos and systemcorse and all. Sometimes it just all seems so ridiculous to me. When I see people say "real systems arnt hurt by people faking DID" and like??? no??? dont fucking speak for me???? Like yes stop fakeclaiming but like no dont say endos arnt "real systems problem" like I guess in practice sure but no and also BIG NO cause enods directly HAVE caused me problems so no, fuck that.

.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I admit, I didn't particularly like Izzy in season 1 lol. I think it's because I have a lot of experience with being at the mercy of someone Like That (in regards to how he treats the crew. Just generally an Angry Chihuahua of a person.) My abusive mother, my manager at my first job, ect... So far though, it looks like season 2 is going to turn my opinion around lol

Honestly, I didn't like him at first, either! I honestly don't think you're supposed to. He does a lot of really shitty things that we're not supposed to find sympathetic! There are several moments – Lucius turning the tables on Izzy in 1x05, Izzy getting smacked on the ass by Stede's sword and then losing the duel in 1x06, Izzy getting punched in the face in 1x09, Izzy almost getting thrown overboard in the mutiny in 1x09– that are definitely supposed to be a "yeah, get 'im!" thing, tonally. I like Izzy and I still have that "GET WRECKED, LOSER" feeling at certain scenes.

And Izzy plotting and scheming and being a dick and then failing anyway, usually in a ridiculous way for absurd reasons, is a good chunk of his humor (I have repeatedly compared him to Wile E. Coyote because it's basically the same joke). It's the same reason the crew discussing mutiny in the first episode is funny: the joke is in them NOT doing it, for inherently funny reasons ("but who will do the voices?").

Like, trying to murder your neighbor is not funny. Trying to murder your neighbor because he has a nicer lawn than you is funny. Trying and failing to murder your neighbor because you slipped on a patch of wet grass caused by you leaving your sprinkler on in an attempt to make your lawn nicer than his is fucking hilarious. And that’s Izzy’s plotline through most of Season 1: just him laying out series of rakes for Stede to step on and then repeatedly walking into them himself.

But I think it's important to distinguish him from those I would consider "true" villains of the series, like the Badmintons or the aristocrats. Almost no villains (outside of the aristocrats and possibly Nigel) are completely 100% without any sympathetic qualities whatsoever: Geraldo is clearly super into Jackie; Chauncey is trying to avenge what he thinks is the murder of his twin brother; Calico Jack (yes I consider him a villain don’t @ me) does/did have a genuine relationship with Ed, even if he’s being a duplicitous asshole to everyone else.

But we spend much more time with Izzy narratively than we do with any of them, in a way that shows us how he’s thinking and feeling. We get the voiceover in 1x06 (“I’m starting to suspect that Edward has no intention of taking Stede Bonnet’s life” over Stede and Ed’s love montage like NO SHIT?), but then immediately afterwards we have the bit where he’s talking to Fang and Ivan, and his evidence for The Plan still being on is… that Ed promised him. Literally just that. That’s a personal reason, not a logical one. We see him talking to Jackie in her bar, sounding exactly like someone who just got cheated on with some floozy. And there are multiple times the camera decides to stay in his face while he goes through five stages of grief: Ed giving up and deciding they’re doomed in 1x04, losing the duel in 1x06, and trying to get Ed to listen to him during Stede’s execution in 1x09.

Even in scenes where he’s being a huge dick, he’s an emotional dick? Obviously some of those emotions are shit like “evil glee” and “anger,” but they’re honest: we know what he looks like when he’s faking emotion and he is so, so bad at it (“BLACKBEARD IS JUST A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER”). He REALLY DOES know that Ed adores Stede: he’s just revealing that to manipulate him into continuing the fuckery. He REALLY DOES think becoming Depressed Musician Ed is “a fate worse than death”: he’s just saying so out loud to (in theory) snap Ed out of his funk. He REALLY IS happy when he thinks he got what he wanted and the old Ed is back: that’s why he reaches out to touch him like that.

And I’m just gonna say: I know the joke is Izzy being the human in a cast of Muppets, but “guy who already is VERY vocal and obvious about how he feels and sucks at being evil but in a funny way” is, IMHO, the exact kind of muppety personality that would make him fit right in with the crew.

We know this was on purpose: David Jenkins has repeatedly said that Izzy is supposed to be like Ed’s jilted spouse, and he wrote 1x09 and 1x10 with Con O’Neill’s audition in mind.

And now we know that this season is going to have even more Izzy. So I’m hopeful that this season is going to cement the groundwork the writers set in Season One.

[apotheoseity]

honestly it doesnt ever end. like. the suffering i mean. no matter what i do i will always be suffering. no matter what people say or do i will always suffer and theres no escape from it. i will always suffer and fail and be considereed lesser than people. im barely a person honestly im just a vessel for the universe to project pain and suffering onto. and thats fine i guess. one day i'll die and none of it will really matter anymore. at least then i wont exist at the whims of untreated mental illness. my paranoia has been so bad recently too. i keep flinching at shadows and thinking theres bugs crawling just in the corner of my vision. i dont have any doubts that ill never amount to anything especially not with how i keep getting worse . i was already doing badly and then one minor tragedy happens and it brings it to a point where i haven't been able to do a single assignment to class and every day i want to fake my own death and run away from everyone ive ever known. i get retraumatized over and over again -- death and suffering and health scares and suicide attempts. when will it end? when will it end? i keep getting angry about things i cant change. things so far out of my control i cant even hope to try and affect it. like watching a car crash in slow motion but im also in the car and getting hit by the car. when will it end? i just want to feel okay again. i just want to be stable again. i miss my grandma and my dad and everyone who leaves me behind. i miss feeling like myself and not like a hodgepodge of shattered glass. i miss being able to sit in a room with people and not being terrified that they'll be thankful when i leave the room. it feels like everythign is always crumbling beneath me and it feels like nobody ever understands me and everything gets lost in translation. i exist behind a sheer screen from other people . on a different plane. i feel like a sick dog or a wilting plant. when will it end?

[yourtwistedlies]

THATS RIGHT

your girl val binged the entire first season of the dragon prince

potential spoilers under the cut

Lord Viren is a snake

ratty little scumbag

i don’t like him ONE BIT

but let’s move onto more pressing matters while i get back to that later

the king is dead *jazz hands*

okay so i have a sneaking suspicion that the letter he gave callum was a letter that said he was to inherit the throne or something like that. though, isn’t that already obvious since he’s the oldest child of the king (even if he’s his stepson)? or does it only apply if you are blood related to the king, which means ezran would inherit it? dunno.

also i do acknowledge that rayla was hiding the fact that harrow died to protect them, but like, TELL THEM. even if they would have felt really sad and stuff ᵗᵐ, i feel like personally, i would have told them. because i feel like the longer you withhold the information, the more it’ll hurt when they figure out the truth. and i assure you, one way or another the truth always comes out.

also i felt so just like in shock while seeing the bond (for killing the king) come off of runaan’s hand. it was just so fast i could not process it. also the shadow hawk WAS SO FREAKING COOL. i was just amazed by that for a hot minute. but im not ashamed to say my first thought was that is everyone who was fighting there dead? is soren dead??? now, i wouldn’t say soren is the best person but the way he let callum beat him to impress claudia, never mind his own sister is just so 💗💗💗💗💗💗. also soren is kind of a hot snatch, and you can’t deny it, that’s speaking from someone who doesn’t even really have a type or anything.

okay, so yeah now my next big thing:

aunt amayaaaaaaaaaaa!!! aunt amayaaaaaaaaa! commander gren!!!! but mostly aunt amayaaaaa!!!!!!

eeee i love amaya!!! she’s such a freaking bada*s!! also she’s deaf, which is actually really inclusive of the show writers :D i think we need more shows with people who have disabilities and the dragon prince is a great one! it shows that you dont have to hear to be able to kick some serious a*s and lead people!!! also commander gren is just such a cutie. he translates everything for her, and THAT SCENE WHERE SHE SIGNS “I trust you, you’ve been my voice. Now you will become my hands to save the boys.” (translation from @redemptiionss—they have dragon prince translations for what amaya signs that gren doesn’t say!) AHHH!!!!! i mean that is just so sweet in like a really friendly platonic way. anyways i love aunt amaya and commander gren 💕

SPEAKING OF COMMANDER GREN. LORD VIREN YOU LITTLE TWERP WHY DID YOU UN-ASSIGN HIM FROM THE MISSIONNN??? ik he did it so that his kids could lead it obviously so they could follow his orders and do his dirty work but- you don’t know how much i wanted that commander gren screen time 😭😭 he just seems like such a funny guy

now that we’re back to the subject of lord viren-

his face is NOT doing so hot rn. he need some cera ve lotion ASAP. aging is not doing him well. okay but I’m going to stop joking now. WTF????????? HE FREAKING LIKE TORTURED RUNAAN???!?? AND PUT HIM IN A COIN????? AND HIS EYES ARE SO FREAKING SCARY??????

i mean at least gren is a witness to the torture but im honestly scared for gren now IF HE EVEN FCKING THREATENS GREN IM GONNA do nothing because he’s fake. but you already know im going to be so mad.

anyways lord viren is SICK (not in a good way). he needs serious help.

okay so yeah callum broke the primal stone to make the storm so zym could hatch blah blah blah i don’t really care. though he’s sad because he can’t do primal magic and stuff but now he’s determined to find another way to do primal magic because honestly claudia’s description of why dark magic wasn’t that bad was kind of terrifying.

yeah. then zym hatched i already forgot his full name since it’s so long, but okay!!! ALSO THEN ZYM BROKE RAYLA’S BOND!!! NOW SHE CAN SLISH AND SLASH (reference 😉) AND SHE WONT LOOSE HER HAND!!!! i love rayla :D. the dragon is kinda cute. but he can’t fly. which kinda makes him less majestic but ezran is gonna train him!!!!

ALSO EZRAN CAN TALK TO ANIMALSS!!!

i always believed in him.

next big thing issssss

claudia and soren both have different secret missions that they can’t tell each other about

like way to ruin your children’s sibling relationship and trust viren 🙄 and ALSO LORD VIREN DID NOT JUST TELL SOREN THAT IF THEY’RE ALIVE “SORRY MAN BUT YOU GOTTA KILL THEM” !!!!!!!!!!!! this man is terrifying

i want to beat him up. i could take him with no magic though. ik the only thing that is going to save him is some weird dark magic and without that his frail bones are going to have nothing on me.

okay! on that happy note i shall continue

something is going on with that mirror

runaan said that he had finally found something dangerous and that has hidden dangers (i hope they’re all inflicted on viren). lord viren has some weird obsession with that mirror and the end credits had a mirror with a hand that had four fingers (elf!!!) pressing on it. yay!! plot!!!!

that’s val’s (me!!) summary of the dragon prince season one

yeah.

aunt amayaaaa!!! aunt amayaaaaaa!!! commander gren!! but mostly aunt amayaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

[cosmossystem]

Hey, I'm sorry for suddenly dumping this onto your askbox, but I just feel the need to be heard

I honestly don't care about being anti and proship at all

But... Everytime I see a post from someone who proudly calling themselves anti... It's always so scarily violent

All those posts saying "kill yourself", "deserves to die", all of that stuff

If you don't like a person or stuff they make... Just block them, mute the tags they use, forget they ever exist

Literally easier to do that than harassing the said person or making others uncomfortable with your violence tendencies

This is why some people that have "I'm an anti" or "Proship dni" have become such a redflag to me, even tho most of the time people who uses them are genuinely just good people who misunderstood what proship is

I wish this whole discourse never existed, I miss everything before 2020...

^^ this

and we feel the exact same way

like we dont have any hard stances on shipcourse because both sides have misinfo and both are wrong about some things-- like, we are firmly anti-lolisho and thats one of the things that is usually seen as "proship", but we do have "problematic" ships and we believe in SALS and are anti-censorship. so much misinfo flies between the two because no one cares about being right, they care about looking right, much like every other fake-activist (which are unfortunately common these days.)

the only reason we even care to begin with is because antis have been so violent to us about it. if you arent with them, youre against them, and if youre against them, youre a target.

it seems like theres a lot of antis in neurodivergent & plural spaces, too, which is just crazy to me, so it feels like we have to specify every time "yes, we're the proship in your DNI, just block us please."

i do wanna say that while 2020 made things worse, ive been in shipcourse + fandom spaces since 2016 and it was pretty bad back then too. like in 2016 i had an anti-ship & anti-ddlg blog and there were DOZENS of other antis in the tags -- yall remember "character-against-bad-ships" blogs? yeah. we ran several of those and had hundreds of mutuals running them as well. (im getting flashbacks to "sonic-for-real-justice". eugh.)

we Fully Converted To Proshipism (/j) in about 2018-19, so i saw how bad it was getting right before covid and honestly its never fully recovered. fandom hasnt really been peaceful since... maybe before 2016? i dont know, i wasnt there. flaming and ship wars have always been around but i honestly cant think of when all this "pro v anti" stuff started. seems like it was a slow buildup and now its just fucking everywhere.

i know this wasnt the point of your ask, but im gonna go on a tangent here because i like to yap:

i think the current state of shipcourse is caused, in part, by the fact that younger generations are getting into fandom. except, i think every time someone points this out, they get it wrong and pin it on some bullshit like "younger fans are mistaking fandom for activism/politics!" that argument sucks because that doesnt afford any empathy to the teenagers and young adults who grew up in this awful fucking political climate (including myself.) fandom IS politics to young people, because they have been aware of the state of the world since the time they could read and dont know a world that isnt inherently political in every way.

and then that brings up the misconception that fandom isnt / should never be political, which isnt true and is literally just denial of what is already happening. every form of media and consumption is inherently political. proshippers tend to be wrong about that, plug their ears and lalala until it goes away while ignoring the very political parts of fandom-- like the misogyny, racism, ableism, aphobia... etc.

and so we get stuck in the same song and dance because everyone is wrong and parrots the same disinfo. fandom is very black and white like that. its either everything is ok, or none of it is, with no room for nuance. like for instance: you can enjoy shipping the canonically-aroace character with someone and that doesnt make you a bad person, but dont pretend that doesnt have any real world implications. and so on.

anyway. thank you for the ask, anon. sorry this got really long and passionate. im very opinionated.

- red

[dailyoyo]

thabk yoi a lot dailyoyo your brains are very compelling to me it kind of makes me want to study you like ants . i quote you all the time like i tell my friends " i stole this sentiment / headcanon from a deranged yoyo tumblr account " . you are aspirational really Truly we need more dailyoyos in the world i cant stop thinking about lawyer yoyo now .... also i beg for more dissecting of yoyo and mew dynamics if ur Into That . theuve always been really interesting to me but honestly like 4 pieces of canonexist in jsr ever so

VERY DELIGHTFUL ASK TO GET. i love to hear that i have had a net impact in making people get weirder. its so important to me. making the jsr fandom worse one post at a time <3

a lot of the way i post in here is inspired by both my friends but also some of the crazy bitches (affectionate) ive seen around over in the dragon ball z fandom in particular, but really i think ANYONE in the world no matter the fandom has the god-given right to tear characters apart with their teeth and make them fail as fuck and really really really sick in the head in ways they were probably not intended to be read as in canon. Everypony out there get eviler!!!!!!!!!!!! Now.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LAWYER YOYO I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT TOO. hes fascinating to me in that like hes technically not a Bad Ending (MOST of that au technically isnt!) and yet objectively he is a worse outcome because in regular(paradox) canon theres an avenue for yoyo to heal and become less bastardous. because like he has genuine friends and positive interactions and reasons to Want to be more than a self serving shithead. and also hes 16 of course hes an asshole hes 16.

but with lawyer yoyo its like. Its too late. He grew up and he stayed like that and he does not care to change and he has no impetus to change. hes definitely living a safer and more comfortable life and he has much higher self-esteem but he is Staying dead inside. Like ok regular yoyo and lawyer yoyo are both mentally at the bottom of basically the same exact well but lawyer yoyo was like "fuck it" and built a house down there. do you get me

Oh fuck this post is getting so long and i havent even talked about mew and yoyo yet.

okay so liek. beat was yoyo's first proper Friend in the ggs (as opposed to "just tolerating him being around"). because beat kind of totally fell for yoyo's whole harmless schtick lmao. but mew was the first Real Friend in that she picked up on how much of a fake fuck yoyo was and decided to hang out with him anyway.

which. ADMITTEDLY. this was originally BECAUSE she was fascinated by yoyo being so insincere (for a while he was also really playing up the "ohoho i'm TOOOTALLY not a double agent" thing for shits and giggles even though he literally wasnt.). and as previously mentioned yoyo had a crush on her which is why he didnt realize mew could see right through him. honestly for a while he kind of thought he had totally had her under his thumb but the whole time mew was like "Awww hehe he thinks im only hanging out with him because of his manipulations, thats so cute ^_^" (<- DERANGED)

and in a way while they were already friends their friendship didnt Truly start until after yoyo confessed his love and was rejected. because like the whole thing was kind of a wakeup call for yoyo - mew had noticed his feelings all along and was waiting for him to say something Just to reject him, and like among normal people that would probably be a lot more hurtful but in that circumstance it was like... she'd outplayed him. easily. and he didn't even notice, but she's still here anyway. and she still wants to hang out with him even though she can tell the kind of person he is.

because the thing is like. mew may play up her innocence and naivety but she IS genuinely kind at heart. a lot of her strange desire to examine nasty people under a microscope is because of her desire to see the humanity in everyone, to understand Why people do the things they do. and she's not under any illusions that she can """Fix Him""", god knows she's not sure she can even "fix" herself, but she saw yoyo for what he was and could respect the survival mechanisms at play for what they were. (this is also why mew was so immediately like "idk Yoyo doesn't seem like that kind of person..." when the nt-3000 thing happened because. like. she Understood his modus operandi and that simply Wasn't It.)

and like when youre the kind of person who thinks that as soon as someone sees under your mask that they'll want you dead in a ditch, knowing someone who recognizes your mask and is just like "oh cool, i got one too" is kind of world-shaking. paradoxically them recognizing each others' insincerity makes them be a lot more sincere with each other.

Oh fuck this post long as hell. yoy