#maybe ill ramble about her tomorrow

[im-smart-i-swear]

im sick so i drew my girl nika to cheer myself up,,

[neuvistar]

poly jingren x reader has been on my mind 4 so longgg.. ITS SO BADD. please give me more thirsts or thoughts abt poly!jingren x reader i’m lovin them rn | hint of fluff, mostly nsfw

short lil thirst ! jing yuan + blade x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), big dick jing yuan + blade foreal, reader implied 2 be shorter in height, degrading terms (whore, slut, etc), mentions of squirting, mating press + full nelson, SIZE KINK!! SIZE KINK!!, blade’s a lil mean but it’s ok bc it’s blade!, cum cum lots of cum (sounds funny but it’s okay </3) | overall suggestive content minors do not interact

poly!jingren who would have different tolerance of your brattiness. jing yuan having the highest patience for u n blade having the least! you always run to jing yuan whenever blade talks abt punishing u n he thinks it’s soso cute :(( he’s always protecting you, nuzzling against his chest with your arms wrapped around his huge body, ur so cute! a darling you are..

jing yuan always tried dodging the idea of you wearing short skirts in public, why? you would make his dick hard, easy. but, you decided it was a good idea to wear the shortest skirt known 2 mankind one day, paying him a visit at his office. imagine this, jing yuan would be at his office doing work at his desk n all of the sudden you walk in looking all slutty, a short skirt that just barely covers your plushy thighs and ass, he would brush it off at first up until you purposely drop the pen on his desk bending down to pick it up. once you stood up, you would already be bent over his desk. that’s what you wanted, after all. “are you trying to tempt me, dove? because it sure is working.” jing yuan has zero patience whenever you’re acting like a whore in public, he would plant kisses all over your back and pound into you like there’s no tomorrow, his big dick stretching you out :(( choked moans would leave your throat, rambling on about how rough he was being with you, and that people might hear you and walk in, but he didn’t care, infact that was the last of his worries. he savoured the feeling of your tight walls pulsing around his cock, cumming inside and cumming on your panties too! i hope u’ll enjoy the stickiness between your thighs <3 (he’ll snitch to blade too abt it, what a bitch)

poly!jingren would be protective over you, even though they’re a pain to be with sometimes due to their constant arguments and disagreements, dating them does have its benefits. they would stand on either side of you, one on your left and one on your right. geez, you look so cute compared to them, it’s like you were walking around with two dogs on your leash, reading to pounce at anyone who dares speak ill of you or touches you. speaking of size.. i feel like they’d both have a size kink, you’re just so short compared to them they can’t help but fantasize about bending you over and fucking you in different positions, i feel like they both each have their favourites on that.

jing yuan loves putting you in a mating press, he likes it becuz it makes him cum quicker! not even a few thrusts and he’s already cumming inside, loving how you squirt all over his cock. he would press your knees against your chest, folding you in half almost. he would gently draw circles on your knee while the tip of his dick kisses your cervix, he’s so sweet to you though.. whispering praises in your ear. he would catch you off guard sometimes due to how sweet he was with you, not noticing how much he came, staring down at the mess he made in your cunt w cum seeping out </3

blade would absolutely love folding you in a full nelson, bro has sm strength it scares you sometimes. he would hook his arms under your knees, thrusting his hips into you. “sucha’ whore for my cock, aren’t you? you like it when i fuck you hard like this, don’t you?” mmm also also maybe if he’s feeling it, i bet bro would let jing yuan would join too, but he wouldn’t impale you with his dick like blade is, no.. he would rub his cock against your slit, placing kisses on your legs. honestly, jing yuan is your saviour atp. cuz everytime blade folds you in a full nelson, he’s always concerned that he’ll break you, so he tries telling him to ease it up a bit with you <3

poly!jingren would have god like stamina and strength, great speed n strength comes w great consequences! whether it is in a non sexual way or not, i feel like their stamina n strength would be useful in your relationship, its a lil cute since ur kinda shorter in height n they would always tower over u n help i get things from the high shelf or cabinet, it’s so cute! <33 but yet.. it’s a lil scary in bed cuz they can last so long w u and fuck you until you forget your own name, but it’ll be fine!! you can handle them!

poly!jingren both probably didn’t realize they had a size kink until they got intimate with you, it was probably the last of their worries up until one night. blade would probably notice a cute little bump on your stomach, noticing just how small you rlly are compared to them, jing yuan would too! honestly they both just love how their huge cocks slide in and out of your pussy, the bulge on your stomach going down, up, down up, over and over again! you’re just so.. cute they can’t help but stretch your little pussy out a bit.

“cmon sweetheart, you got this. you’re so cute, mhm.. you can handle more right?“

“sure she can, she’s strong girl. if shes— mmp.. squeezing around us like that, i’m sure she can handle more.”

“mm.. mhm. i can see that.” jing yuan leaned down, bringing his voice down to a whisper, “do you like it when we stretch you out with our cocks like this, baby?”

“fuck yeah she does, look at her. she’s creaming on our cocks already. s’ messy.”

poly!jingren who would both try their best to be gentle to you, sometimes it backfires but you don’t seem to mind! what’s very true about them is they both don’t want to hurt you in anyway, sure they fuck you hard enough and punish you but their intentions r never to hurt u, they would always ask you if you’re okay, even if they see the slightest hint of discomfort or pain in your face. especially jing yuan, he’s rlly rlly sweet n same goes to blade but he shows it in his own way. u know that blade doesn’t mean half of the things he says (he knows ur a slut for their cock tho but that’s besides the point) n sometimes he can get carried away but he would apologize with a simple “sorry.” and ask you if he was too rough on you, both r sweethearts yk

[aerynwrites]

Remember

Halsin x gn!Reader

A/N: thank you for the request @sabersandsnipers! I had so much fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy! See the request here.

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: kissing, love confessions, miscommunication, drunk reader, drunk confessions, morning hangovers/blurry memory, Halsin being a gentleman 🥰

The campfire burns brightly in the night, heating your already heated cheeks.

You all finally came across some good wine, pilfered from a wine cellar in a small abandoned town. Astarion practically melted as he read the labels. Practically glaring at you when you asked him what was so special.

“These are vintage darling. Practically liquid gold compared to the piss we’ve been drinking.”

Your other companions had happily helped tote crates of the stuff back to camp then, excited to finally indulge in the best, for once.

And it is the best. The best you’ve ever had for sure. At least in recent memory.

The wine is rich and decadent, passing your lips without that unpleasant burn the cheap stuff gives. It’s sweet and slides down easily - maybe a little too easily.

It turns your brain to figurative mush, your limbs starting to feel heavy despite the uncontrollable giggles slipping past your lips as Karlach acts out another one of her battle stories.

Your inhibitions have started to slip, especially those tied to your tongue. Because along with your giggles you’re unable to stop your flirtatious rambling to the druid sitting beside you at the fire. He is also taking part in the festivities, albeit more cautiously, only having had a single glass to your…

Well…you don’t know how many.

Another giggle slips past your lips as you lean into the man at your side, watching as Karlach flops down onto the ground in a reenactment of her downing an enemy. Wyll goes to help her up but is also unsteady on his feet and soon joins her in the dirt, both of them howling in laughter.

Halsin lets out a laugh of his own at their antics and you can’t stop the smile that tugs at your numb lips.

“I like your laugh,” you say, turning to look up at Halsin.

The man is taller than you even sitting down, so when he looks down to you, pieces of his hair fall forward into his face.

“My laugh?” He asks, a smile splitting his lips as he most likely finds enjoyment in your inebriated state.

You nod, leaning forward once more to rest your forehead against his chest, abandoning your goblet in favor of wrapping the man in a weak embrace.

“I just like you,” your words are slurred as you slump more into the larger man’s embrace. “And you smell good.”

Halsins chest rumbles with laughter beneath your cheek and it just further adds to the buzzing beneath your skin, even more so when you feel his hands grasp your arms gently.

Yet another thing you notice about him. His hands are calloused, roughened with years of using a weapon and tending the land and communing with nature. But he’s so…gentle. His smile, his words, his laugh, his entire being just screams safety.

It’s what draws you to him no matter how much you try to stay away. Which isn’t very much considering he has slowly started to reciprocate your attraction.

At least…you hope.

“I think it’s high time for you to get some rest,” Halsin says, moving to stand from his seat and guide you to do the same.

“What?” You ask, the world spinning slightly as you get to your feet. “But I’m having fun!”

The words are slurred as Halsin slips an arm around around your waist to steady you, slowly leading you away from the fire. You don’t miss the various whistles and hoots from your other companions as he does so.

Halsin smiles, not that you see it as you focus on putting one foot in front of the other as he leads you.

“I know you were, but it will be an ill-fated day tomorrow if you continue to drink.”

Despite your drunken state you recognize the wisdom in his words.

“You’re probably right, but -“ you pause as you struggle to take in your surroundings before you realize you’re being led away from your tent.

“Wait, my tent is that way,” you emphasize by pointing a staggering finger in the vague direction of your tent, a movement that causes your feet to twist up beneath you.

You would have fallen if it weren’t for the druid at your side stopping to catch you before opting to lift you into his arms instead.

“I know where your tent is located, but my tent is far closer.”

You hum in response, your head lolling backwards, eyes meeting the stars above you.

“I can walk, you know.”

Halsin laughs at this, shifting to support your head as he draws closer to his tent. “Your earlier attempts would disprove that statement.”

You pout your lip at him as he finally ducks into his tent. “You’re mean,” you say plainly.

“I apologize, little one.”

His words hold little apology but you don’t point it out as he finally lowers you to your feet, helping as you try to steady yourself. Only when he pulls away do you finally look up at him, and you take the moment of silence to take in the man before you.

He’s still smiling down at you, all while watching to make sure you keep your feet. His brows furrow slightly with every uneasy shift of your body, his hands tightening where they rest on your hips.

Without thinking you reach up, placing uncoordinated fingers against the scars that run over his brow. He stills at this, eyes widening for a moment before fluttering closed as you trail your fingers down. Your hand cups his cheek now, thumb running over where the scar ends just below his lips.

Lips you want nothing more than to kiss right now.

His eyes open then, as if sensing your questioning stare. You’ve both drifted closer to one another during this silent moment, your chests brushing together as you look up at him.

“Halsin?”

“Yes, my heart?”

Your breath stutters in your chest at the new nickname, and you can smell the faint scent of wine on his breath as he speaks.

“Can I kiss you?”

The words fall into silence, and you can practically feel the tension in the air dissipate as Halsin’s eyes close tightly, a sigh falling from his lips as he steps away from you slightly.

Your drunken mind moves before he speaks, making you stumble over your words.

“Oh that’s - I understand. I shouldn’t have asked, that was - I’m sorry I-“

Before you can ramble any further, Halsin has your face cradled in his hands, green eyes capturing your own.

“You misunderstand,” he tells you, thumbs brushing your cheek bones lightly. “I have wanted to kiss you, to touch you for longer than you can imagine,” he admits, eyes softening. “But I do not wish for our first kiss, our first coming together to be in the midst of a wine induced haze.”

He smiles.

“I want you to remember this, and I’m afraid in this state, you may wake tomorrow with no memory of tonight.” He moves to push a stray piece of hair from your face as one hand settles at the junction of your neck and shoulder. “I do not want to lose a moment with you.”

His words ease the anxiety roiling in your belly, and you find it in you to nod. The sentiment increases the heat in your cheeks once again.

Halsin smiles at your ascent, and gently leads you to bed. His bed roll is set up on top of a pile of furs which cradle your body perfectly where you all but flop onto it. Your earlier statement of not being tired is quickly erased as your eyelids begin to shut, sleep tugging at your mind as you settle into the soft bed.

The last thing you remember before slumber takes you is the feeling of warm hands trailing your arms before something soft covers you and one brief thought.

He feels the same.

——————

A pounding headache is what eventually wakes you from your slumber. Your mouth is dry, tongue laying thick in your mouth as you try and fail to swallow and wet your mouth. Your eyelids feel filled with sand as you peel them open, only to be met with darkness. The only light is from the sun seeping into the tent in thin slivers from the slightly parted tent flap.

You notice multiple things at once. First being that you’re not in your tent, but in Halsins. The second being the smattering of blurry memories from last night.

Oh Gods…I basically threw myself at him!

You remember that vaguely, asking to kiss him, and then the rest is…foggy. You remember him turning you down and then not much else afterwards.

Pushing yourself up on shaky arms you try to take in your surroundings, letting out a small sigh when you see Halsin isn’t in the tent with you. You can avoid embarrassment just a little longer, at least.

You quickly grab your shoes that you see at the end of the bedroll and after making sure the coast is clear you make your way across camp in the early morning light to your own tent.

The next few hours pass in a blur if periodic sleep and the eventuality of the camp stirring to life around you. A rude reminder that you can’t avoid a certain druid forever.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Karlach's voice pierces the air as she pokes her head into your tent. “Can you take firewood duty? We’re running low.”

You nod quickly. You might not be able to avoid the inevitable but…maybe a little longer.

————

The woods are quiet, this time of day, morning starting to give way to midday as you wander through the trees, gathering suitable logs for camp.

However, the tranquility of nature gives your mind time to wander back to last night, desperately trying to force memories to light. But no matter how hard you try, nothing new comes to light. Just you embarrassing yourself in front of the man who’s captured your affections.

You sigh, before gasping as the toe of your boot catches on an exposed root, your thoughts distracting you from your surroundings. The wood in your arms teeters precariously and just about falls to the forest floor before you feel two strong hands steady you.

“You look as if you could use some help,” a familiar voice says, and your stomach flips as Halsin comes to stand in front of you, smiling down at you. “Here.”

He reaches out to take the wood from you before you can protest, the pile that nearly filled your arms looking tiny against his larger frame.

You want to become defensive, but stop yourself before you can snap. Your anger is misdirected to him when you’re really upset with yourself.

You give the man a small smile. “Thank you,” you say before gesturing back towards camp. “I think that should be enough for now, we can head back.”

Halsin just nods before moving in step beside you as you both make the short trek back to camp. Neither of you speak at first - you too anxious to bring anything up and Halsin is probably too polite to do the same.

At least you thought.

“You were gone from my tent when I arrive back from a hunt this morning,” he says simply. An observation. Yet it feels like an accusation, or at least a question. But you almost feel like you can hear…disappointment in his words. Hurt.

You don’t look at him, embarrassment blooming in your chest again. You shrug. “I just…figured I’d save us both the awkward embarrassment.”

You’re at the edge of camp now, and you stop next to the dwindling wood pile and start unloading pieces from Halsin arms onto the ground.

“I’m sorry about last night,” you finally say, avoiding his gaze still. “I shouldn’t have drank so much and I definitely shouldn’t have put you on the spot and I just thought that if I left this morning it would save you from having to turn me down again and-“

The last piece of wood falls from your hands as you fumble over your words, but a steadying hand quickly reaches out to grab your own before you can move to pick it up again.

Finally, you turn to look at Halsin, and you’re taken aback to see…amusement twinkling In his eyes, his lips tugging up into a small grin.

“So you do not remember last night?” He asks, head tilting to the side slightly.

You shake your head, frowning. “I mean I don’t - I remember some of it. I remember asking to - to kiss you…” you cringe slightly at the hazy memory. “And then I remember you pulling away and-“

Before you can ramble any further, callused hands cup your cheeks and soft lips capture your own.

A memory comes to you then, as if Halsins touch alone makes it resurface. You remember what you thought was his rejection, then his confession, then his kind words after.

“I want you to remember this.”

He didn’t reject you. He returns your affections, and has for some time now it seems.

You finally kiss him back, your hands falling to his waist and gripping the fabric of his shirt in your hands. He pulls you closer then, lips moving against yours in a way that screams desperation. He’s been holding back for so long, and so have you.

But not anymore.

Yet he pulls away all too soon, leaving you breathless and wide eyed as you look up at him, still gripping onto him as if you’re afraid he’ll disappear if he steps away.

“I don’t think I could have forgotten a kiss like that,” you say, voice soft.

Halsin laughs, a quiet chuckle as his thumb runs soothingly over your cheekbone.

“I will not forget this moment either,” he assures. “But I did not want to risk losing it to the haze of last evening. These things are better enjoyed with a clear mind.”

You can’t help but laugh, despite the seriousness of his words. “You’re not wrong in that,” you say, reaching up to trace gentle fingers over the scars on his brow.

Another memory flickers to mind and you smile as you watch Halsins eyes flutter closed, just like they did last night.

“Halsin,” his name is a whisper on your lips.

He smiles, eyes blinking open once more. “Yes, my heart?”

Gods that nickname.

“Can I kiss you?”

He pulls you closer, nose brushing your own. “You never have to ask, little one. My heart is yours.”

And then his lips are on yours again, and you're silently glad he made you wait. Because he was right.

You don’t want to lose a moment with him, either.

[newtness532]

Can it be Friday already?

[frvnkcastles]

Hello my lovely writer,

I love your work but wasn't brave enough to write you, until today =) even if I don't know if you're still accepting requests I give it a try, in hope that you like to write a story with your wonderful words. Currently I'm sick as a dog and in need of some care taking Frank...

Frank and her are dating for some time now, but she has problems with trusting him completely because of her last abusive relationship. So she didn't tell him that she is chronical ill and often suffers from pulmonary infections and tachycardia always when she feels under the weather or sick she tells him she is busy so they can't meet. When she's falling deathly sick with a very high fever she tells him to raincheck their date. Frank gets suspicious and tries not to think of her cheating with him. When he doesn't hear from her for days and she doesn't answer his texts and phone calls he's mad and he wants to confront her. What he doesn't know is that she's at home deathly sick and in need of help cause of her high fever. When she doesn't open her door he is raging thinking that she's in bed with another man, but what he finds shatters his heart not as he aspected. He finds her semi conscious on her bathroom floor....

Well some angst, drama, secrets of her past and a protective caretaking Frank nurses her back to health.

Hope that's something you like.

Love, kiss and hugs sends you a fan of your work

Sorry for my English, it's not my first language 🤍

SIRENS IN MY HEAD ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Feeling under the weather, you cancel your date with Frank, and when he doesn’t hear from you for a few days, he expects the worst — only to find an equally bad situation: you, unconscious on the bathroom floor.

Warnings: Chronic illness, mentions of an abusive ex, cursing, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2.2k

Author’s note: Omg anon it took me so long to finish this, I apologize!! I took some creative liberties with this one because personally I feel like Frank would assume something bad happened to you instead of cheating, but I hope you still like what I came up with :) I’m sending you lots of love and good vibes!!

In the past couple of months, you and Frank had discovered that you had a lot in common — you both liked dogs, you both tended to put others before yourselves, and you liked the same kind of music playing from his truck radio whenever he took you anywhere. But the most glaring similarity between the two of you lately was that neither of you remembered the first thing about dating. He had never even intended to get back into it, but then you had come and won his heart all to yourself, whereas you had been reserved and wary ever since you had broken up with your aggressive and controlling ex. His habit of putting you down with words as much as his hands had earned you a complete distrust of men — with Frank being, apparently, the exception.

Still, you didn’t completely open up to him. In fact, there was one major thing you had been holding out on, out of the fear that it would be too much for him to take — or worse, he would take advantage of that weakness somehow. So when you started to feel under the weather once more, your chronic tendencies acting up again, you made sure not to tell him why you were canceling your dinner date.

”Yeah, it’s just, I have to be at work all day and it doesn’t really seem like it’s gonna work out today”, you rambled into the phone, hoping Frank wouldn’t call you out on the bullshit excuse, only to be crushed a little more by his disappointed voice.

”Oh, okay, sweetheart. ’M sorry to hear that. Maybe tomorrow, then, huh?” Frank suggested, his gravelly voice full of dismay, and as a wave of nausea rushed over you, you squeezed your eyes shut and drew in a shaky breath.

”Actually, uh, I’m not sure I can make that work. I’m really sorry, but I’ll—I’ll let you know when I’m… more available”, you cleared your throat, embarrassment creeping up your spine and mixing in with the cold sweat breaking on your forehead. ”Again, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

With that, you hung up the phone and threw it next to you on the mattress before groaning and running your hands across your face. You hated this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to telling him the truth. Still, as your fever rose and your heartrate refused to calm down, you wished nothing more than to have Frank by your side, caressing your hair and holding your hand.

It wasn’t the first time you had done this, tried to fool him into thinking you were fine when in reality you were not, but this was the first time Frank was more than just a little bit suspicious. He would have liked to think that enough time had passed between the two of you for you to be honest with him, the same way he was learning to be honest with you — even about things he had always kept to himself.

Still, he let it go. For the first couple of days, anyway. Then all of a sudden, you weren’t answering texts, ranging from casual check-ins to more clear requests for any kind of sign, and when he called you, you didn’t pick up, either. You had gone completely radio silent for the fourth day now, whereas before you would get back to Frank within minutes. He missed checking his phone and seeing a notification from you, and like a goddamn schoolgirl, he missed texting you until ungodly hours in the AM until he’d pass out on his phone from sheer exhaustion.

And Frank, well, he always assumed the worst. The most horrendous scenario imaginable was already forming in his head, and he tried his damnedest to keep his cool, but fuck, if he wasn’t worried. He tried to get his mind off of you by cleaning his guns, but he soon realized it was just to prepare him against whoever had possibly taken you from your home, or maybe even the street. Surely something had happened for you to not even let him know you were okay.

”Goddamn it, sweetheart”, he muttered at his phone where his long list of unanswered text messages stared back at him. He tried to sit still in his silent apartment, but the longer he did, the worse he started to overthink. And before he knew it, he was out the door, headed for your building with his gun in the waistband of his jeans.

Tapping on the wheel, he impatiently swerved from one street to another. He had gotten far too attached to you — in fact, he hadn’t even realized just how deeply until right now, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, not now, not ever. You had become so indescribably important to him, more than he’d even care to admit, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He was ready to go to war for you if that was what the night had in the cards for him.

He was at your front door in almost no time, his knuckles knocking on the door to give you the chance to answer. But when nothing happened, not even a squeak came from indoors, Frank tried the handle — to no avail. ”Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, knowing you’d hand his ass to him for what he was about to do, but he wasn’t going to let a mere door stand in his way.

And so, he shoved through the door with his shoulder, busting in unceremoniously and with a bang. At first glance, the apartment looked untouched, and in any other situation, he would have taken a moment to appreciate just how you it was, from photos to little plushies decorating the place. But now, he was focused on only one thing, and that was finding you. Even though the place seemed normal in every way, he withdrew his gun and kept it hoisted in the air just in case, the barrel leading the way as he searched the apartment room by room.

It was in the bathroom that Frank found what he was looking for, only to be slapped in the face by the horror that quickly washed over him at the sight — you, lying on the floor, sweat beading on your feverish face while you breathed heavily and unevenly.

”Shit”, he uttered out while putting his gun away and kneeling down beside you. ”Sweetheart? Hey, sweet girl, can you hear me? Hey, I need ya to wake up for me, okay?” Frank continued, his anger fading into worry as he lifted your head up and tried to gently shake you into consciousness. When you began moving on your own and your eyes parted open, he sighed in relief, but licked his lips in the realization that you were not in the clear yet.

”Hey, hey, take it easy. You with me, darlin’? Look at me”, he instructed with short and simple statements, his voice gentle but stern, and you found it in yourself to follow his guidance. You leaned into him and looked up at him, struggling to find your words with your dry throat and your dizzy head.

”Didn’t want you to see me like this”, you slurred, and knitting his eyebrows together, Frank tilted his head at you.

Nodding to promise he understood, he cleared his throat. ”Listen, I’mma take you to the hospital, aight? I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise”, he continued, and even though you didn’t have it in you to fight back, you nodded.

With ease, Frank picked you up from the floor, and as quickly but carefully as he could, he rushed downstairs to his truck where he made sure to protect your head and avoid any sudden movements while buckling you in. He maintained a balance between rushing and not risking your life any further, but needless to say, he was relieved no cops pulled him over as he sped through the streets to get to the emergency room.

He was working on autopilot, his instincts guiding him but his mind not quite catching up with what was happening. He was scared, but that part of him was shutting down completely and the diligent soldier in him took charge of the situation until you were lying in a hospital bed, still unconscious but stable according to the doctors.

He didn’t leave your side for one second, even when his eyes started to slip and his body yearned for coffee. The doctors told him he might have to wait all night, but he was willing to — he just wasn’t going to let you wake up all alone, confused and hurt.

It must have been near 4 AM when you finally came to, your groggy movements alerting Frank who was half-asleep in the chair he had dragged to your bedside. But as soon as you seemed to be waking up, he was eyes wide and his hand reaching for yours. You were too out of it to fight him off even if you had wanted to, but when your eyes adjusted to the new setting and you slowly realized where you were, you clung onto him desperately.

”Frank…”, you croaked out, eyes blinking rapidly as you lifted your head just a little bit, and shushing you softly, Frank caressed your cheek with his free hand.

”Hey there, pretty girl. I’m right here. You’re at the hospital, okay? I found you, uh, I found ya unconscious and I got you here”, he started, his rough voice a warm welcome as you got oriented — although as you did, you found yourself hoping you wouldn’t.

As soon as you remembered the couple of days you had had, shame, regret and guilt gushed into your system, poisoning you from within and encouraging you to bury your face in your hands. You groaned, but still blissfully unaware, Frank continued.

”I—I’m not really sure what happened and the doctors don’t wanna tell me anythin’…”, he trailed off, sounding and looking very much like a kicked puppy, and it made you feel so shitty. God, you really liked him, and now it felt like everything you had developed together was moments away from burning to ashes.

”I’m so sorry, Frank. I didn’t want you to get involved in this mess”, you breathed out, pursing your lips together awkwardly in an effort to not cry.

”Hey, you don’t gotta apologize. I… I wanna be involved in whatever you got goin’ on, y’know?” he shrugged before licking his lips and adding, ”and since I’m here now, maybe you could tell me what’s goin’ on?”

He made a damn good argument there. So, you decided to put on your big girl pants and rip off the band-aid.

”I suffer from these… spells, I guess. I deal with chronic illness and when I get sick, I get really sick. I’ve been struggling with it a lot this week, so I cancelled our date”, you explained with a grimace, but Frank didn’t seem shaken by it — worried, sure, but about to make your worst nightmares come true? Not by a long shot.

”Man, that’s… Shit, that sucks. No way ’round it. ’M sorry”, he sympathized, and you nodded quietly to accept his kindness. ”Maybe I’m just a big ole’ idiot but uh, you coulda just told me, yeah?” Frank wondered, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his innocent attempt to understand. Granted, you weren’t making it easy for him.

”Yeah, that’s where my trust issues come in, I guess. Um, my ex was really… Well, the worst. I kinda learned to expect the worst from everyone, especially men, and I didn’t want to risk telling you because I didn’t know how you’d react. Even now I’m kind of worried about what this means for our future”, you admitted nervously, your fingers fiddling with the thin cover on top of you, and Frank immediately squeezed your hand to reassure you.

”I ain’t gonna do anythin’ you don’t want me to. I’ll try to learn about it and do whatever I can to help ya out, is that okay?” he questioned shyly, and with a quick nod, you smiled at him.

”It’s okay. I would like that. I just don’t want it to be an inconvenience or—or something that gives you too much control over me”, you explained, and tilting his head at you, Frank frowned.

”I don’t wanna control you, sweetheart. ’M sorry your ex was a piece of shit like that. But I promise ya, I ain’t gonna be the same. I’mma do this shit right”, he insisted, still squeezing your hand, and as his words hung in the air, you felt the anxiety slowly fade away. Maybe, this could work out.

”Thank you”, you whispered, and nodding to confirm it was the least he could do, Frank lifted your hand to his mouth and left a gentle kiss on the back of it.

”Next time… you can tell me and maybe I can come over and take care of you, yeah?” he offered, and when you broke into an approving smile, he flashed a grin at you. ”Good, good… ’Cause I gotta be honest, I really like you, girl. And I ain’t plannin’ on messin’ this up”, Frank pointed out, and with a giggle escaping your mouth, you gripped his hand a bit tighter.

”Don’t worry, you’re doing just fine so far.”

[mytheoristavenue]

May I make a request where it’s donnie2k12 x reader and the reader is upset that Donnie always fawns over April and constantly asks the reader for help to be with her, and maybe the reader talks about it to Leo and Donnie overhears and when Leo holds the reader for comfort Donnie gets jealous. Ill leave the rest up to u <3

Sure, thanks for the ask!

TMNT 2012 Donatello x Reader x Leonardo - Unfair

Warnings: jealousy, character x reader x character, angst, fluff

Summary: You've finally had enough of trying to help Donnie get April's attention, and Leo comforts you in your time of need.

You sat in the lab, pretending to listen to Donatello ramble about his latest plan to get April to go out with him. "That's where you come in." he chirped, gaining back your attention.

"Donnie, I already told you I wasn't comfortable with this anymore." you mumbled, not wanting to upset him, but also not wanting to put yourself through more torment.

"Oh, come on, (Y/N). I promise you won't have to do much! It'll be easy." he pushed. "You're my best friend, you're the only one I can trust to help me win April over." he stressed, holding both of your hands in his. “Please, just when you go to school tomorrow, give her this.” he pleaded, handing you a paper crane, seemingly made from a handwritten letter. You sighed and caved, taking it and walking out of the lab.

The following afternoon, you sighed sadly, wandering into the lair. To be honest, you didn’t even want to be here. Don’s plan had worked, and the letter had really gotten to April, so much so that she thanked you for ‘not letting her miss out on such a sweet guy’. You really didn’t even want to visit the turtles, all things considered, but you had a mandatory training session with Splinter so here you were.

Walking into the dojo, you dropped your bag into the corner,, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and tape up your hands and feet. Just as you finished, the door slid open, Leo entering with a smile. “Hey, (Y/N), it’s nice to see you.” he said with a sweet smile.

“Oh, hey, Leo. Do you have  training with Splinter too?” you asked as he helped you to your feet.

“Actually, no.” he said, replacing his tape as well. “Splinter’s not feeling well, so he asked me to spar with you today. Is that alright?” 

“Of course,” you smiled, walking over to a rack of weapons in the opposite corner, picking out a blunt practice katana, and throwing one to Leo as well. “Honestly, I’m glad to see you.”

“Oh?” he asked with a small chuckled, catching the practice weapon, before following you to the middle of the dojo to take stance. “Are you not comfortable training with Splinter?”

“No, of course not,” you clarified, “I love Splinter, he just has a way of sniffing out things, ya know? You can’t hide anything for him.”

Leo smiled genuinely, lowering the wooden sword, leaning on it. “I get what you mean. If there’s something you need to get off your chest, we can do some stretches before we spar.” he offered sweetly. You nodded, dropping your weapon. 

“I’d like that, thanks.” You smiled, sitting in the middle of the floor with him, copying his movements. 

“So, what’s bothering you?” he asked, parting his legs, leaning toward his left foot to stretch his back and core. 

“Can you keep a secret?” you asked cautiously, following suit, counting to ten underneath your breath. 

“Obviously.” he snickered, switching sides. 

“I think I’m in love with Donnie.” you confessed, bringing your feet together between your legs and counting to ten.

“You call that a secret?” Leo snorted, crossing one leg over the other, looking over his shoulder and twisting his spine to the left, resulting in a satisfying string of pops.

“Well, yeah.” you rolled your eyes, coming out of the stretch to switch to the right. “But he keeps using me to help him get closer to April, even after I asked him to stop. And today...it worked.” you finally came back to the center, your shoulders slumping, and head dropping in defeat.

“That’s rough.” Leo winced, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You're not his monkey wrench, you deserve better.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” you smiled up at him. 

“You know, I think you’re wonderful.” he smiled, placing his free hand on yours. “I know you’re interested in Donnie, and I don’t want to take advantage of that, but do you...maybe wanna go get some pizza with me?” he asked, neglecting your hand to scratch the back of his neck.

“Like...a date?” you asked, a bit uncertain.

“No, just an excuse for two friends to blow off training.” he grinned, standing up ad offering you a hand, which you gladly took.

An hour passed, and the pair of you were walking down the streets of NYC, pizza box in hand. Leo had called in your favorite flavor, and given you money to go into the shop an pick it up. You were now on your way to the park to eat in seclusion. You both sat on the swings, eating (F/F) pizza, talking about life and enjoying each other's company, and for a bit, you entirely forgot about Don.

Nearby, Donnie and April were walking along, planning to have a study date at her favorite park. April was rambling on about how many exams she had that week, and how confident she was in each one, her fingers interlocked with his. He had originally been chatting along with her, but as soon as they entered vision of the park, his heart dropped.

Now that you were finished with your pizza, you and Leo were now having a very deep conversation about your feelings revolving Donnie. Actually you were more venting about it, and he was simply taking in information, and offering sweet reassurances when the occasion arose. “Leo, you’ve been so sweet today, I really appreciate it, truly.” you sighed, your voice strained from a few brief crying spells. You suddenly stood out of your swing, and stood in front of him, between his legs. 

“Awe, bring it in.” me whispered softly as you began to sniffle again, letting you fall into his arms. Leo pet your hair gently as you sobbed quietly into the chest plate of his shell, hushing you. “Shh, it’s ok, just let it out.”

“(Y/N)?” a voice broke through the moment you were sharing with Leo, prompting you both to separate like oil and water. 

“D-Don?” you asked, wiping your nose on your sleeve as your head snapped to a tall turtle and a human girl standing in an alley way. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? I’m on a date.” He shot back defensively. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re just hanging out.” you replied, sniffling, not understanding why he seemed so upset. “What’s the big deal?”

“I just feel like it’s kinda weird that the moment I get a girlfriend, you turn around and start hitting on my brothers. Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“That’s enough,” Leo spat, standing up out of the swing. “It’s not what it looks like, Donnie.”

“Oh, really?” the purple clad turtle snarled, yanking his hand out of April’s. “Because it looks like you’re on a date with my girlfriend.”

“Donnie!” the red head shouted. “I thought I was your girlfriend?” the younger brother’s face paled. 

“You are, I didn’t mean girlfriend, I meant best friend, that’s a girl, I swear!” 

As the pair bickered, Leo pulled you into his side, whispering into your ear. “You ok?” he asked, frowning at your teared eyed negative response. “Why don’t I take you home, huh?” he offered with a fake smile, wanting to do anything possible to calm you down. You nodded, and he scooped you up, turning to leave.

“Where are you going?” Donnie spat, grapping the other turtle by the shoulder. Leo sternly narrowed his eyes at his little brother.

“Don’t worry about it. Worry about your girlfriend, not mine.” he instructed, still holding you in his arms, ignoring your widened eyes as he lied.

“She’s not your girlfriend!” 

“And she’s not you’re toy.”

[emilsgrippers]

Did someone order Gidgette hc?

wait no?

too bad okay guys let’s go

—In my mind Bridgette has a bit of a tummy and she’s really insecure about it. Deep down she feels like Geoff may leave her because of it—even though it’s not a big deal, and it’s really not that noticeable at glance. But he’s never even thought of leaving her over that, he actually thinks she’s gorgeous with it (Or without!!) but she doesn’t know that.

—Since Bridgette is always hurting herself clumsily, IE: Tripping and falling, walking into walls accidentally, misplacing something and hurting herself..(you get it), Geoff is always taking care of her and tending to these injuries for her, no matter how minor. The only problem is he doesn’t have that much medical knowledge. He knows to sanitize a wound and bandage it, but not anything too extreme. Bridgette, with FAR more medical knowledge, has to walk him through it. (Even though she could just do it herself..)

———In addition, she’s really vulnerable to colds and sickness.(While he on the other hand, is rarely sick. Like only a handful of times in a year) Atleast twice every month she’s stuck in bed with illness. He’s always bringing her warm food, warm drinks, pillows, blankets, whatever she wants or needs. Bridgette feels bad when Geoff does this because he just does so much, but he doesn’t let her lift a finger.

—Every Saturday they’re down at the beach. Surfing, pulling one another out of the water once they fall of their board (mainly Geoff to Bridgette..), laying on their small towel in the sand, or just goofing around and doing silly small things like attempting to build a sandcastle. Every single sandcastle they try to make just looks like a funky lump, and Bridgette always laughs…Geoff eventually ends up laughing too.

—When it comes to teasing, Bridgette always thinks teasing should be small flirtatious things. Like getting your partner all flustered, hugging them from behind, you know, playful teasing. She’s a very delicate girl when it comes to this,,and Geoff doesn’t quite get that.. He sometimes teases her to the point she doesn’t think he’s teasing her anymore, and she gets a bit upset. No matter how many times he realizes he’s overstepping boundaries and apologized…it always happens again.

——-Bridgette has accepted this is just kind of him, and she’s trying to teach herself to accept this somewhat wild and overly playful nature.

—After Bridgette and Geoff received so many negative reactions to their kissing in TDA, Bridgette made it a point to turn down the PDA. An occasional kiss at most in public. Geoff wasn’t really affected by everyone voting them for not being able to keep their hands off each other, though. He still kisses Bridgette all the time out in public, and she now always gets flustered.

—Geoff has a bit of a rambling problem. If you mention something he likes, parties, his friends, or even Bridgette, he’ll go on and on until someone pretty much tells him to shut it. When he starts to do this around Bridgette and he realizes what he’d doing, she encourages him to keep going. She loves listening to him ramble on about something that brings him happiness. She once let him go on for 27 minutes before he finally finished, and Bridgette remembered every little detail.

Okay that’s all it’s 3am .maybe some more gidgettw tomorrow ..maybe..that’s only if the people are rocking with Gidgette …

[somejazzinthemorning]

tightrope. 03

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Original Female Character Warnings: Language Word Count: 7.241 Previous chapter: 02.

Drowning myself in work is my go-to coping mechanism for more than half of my problems.

I'll either resort to racing or tracing brand strategies in an attempt to avoid having to face whatever problem throws my way and, that night, being 11 pm on a Wednesday, my laptop and the small whiteboard on my desk became my saving grace.

Despite the burning eyes and my aching back, after hours sat at my desk, my mind was still racing, high on whatever feelings the brush of his lips had evoked in my body. I fell asleep to the memory of his eyes and the velvet lips.

There was no way to escape it. We were already falling.

I woke up late, the next day.

My phone had a full wall of notifications ready to present me. A single text in the middle of the dozens of work-related emails, most of them answers to the ones I’d written during the night and scheduled to be sent in the early hours of the work day. I only realised I was smiling, probably high on my own expectations, when I felt my smile drop, after seeing who sent the text. Amanda. Not him.

“those updates on the project at 3 am??? r u okay?”

“sorry! i remembered to schedule the emails, but forgot about the notes on the project.” "got some good work done, tho”

"need to take a moment to reread all of your incoherent notes” "all that rambling is… wow” "BUUUUUT come to the office” "the things from the berlin store just arrived, you will love them”

"can’t make it today” "send pics!”

"come tomorrow, then! ill get churros for breakfast”

My phone went back to the nightstand and I pulled up the comforter, wrapping it around myself in an attempt to find some security and calm of mind. I peered out from under the comforter, staring at the dark room, only lightened by some streaks of light created from a gap in the blinds. I was still tired from the night, and my mind scrambled from everything we had shared.

Eventually, I left the bed. My mom was downstairs, and a copy of Shadow of the Wind rested on the kitchen counter while she cooked lunch. Frank Sinatra played on the old record player in the living room and the music continued to stretch around the house as we ate together. Luckily, her birthday party was keeping her busy; busy enough that she didn't remember to ask me about the dinner from last night.

Truth be told: I'm a terrible liar. I would never be able to escape her questions.

At the end of the day, I met Rocco for a workout, in a nearby gym. He was waiting for me, leaning against the reception counter, teal Puma t-shirt paired with an amused smirk; I knew he was more than ready to put me through my paces. And I was right. It only took me a couple of exercises to lay on the floor, panting and sweating."Have you thought about what you're doing next season?" I looked up, in the direction of the voice. Rocco was standing in front of me, holding my water bottle.

I sat up straight and extended my hand to grab it. "Not yet," the water was cold and refreshing. Just what I needed. "Maybe a third year in the Challenge and," I paused to breathe. "You know, the reserve seat. Not ideal, but yeah."

He frowned, sitting down on one of the plyo boxes near me. "But yeah?"

"Yeah. Works." I answered, laying back down on the green turf. The small fake grass ticklish on my legs and arms. "Not much, but it's racing."

"I think I'll pretend you didn't say that."

"Why? It's just how it is."

He cleared his throat, the deep sound making me open my eyes and stare at him again. "Up," he commanded, refusing to help me get up. I brought the hand I'd just held up to the floor, to help me get up.

"I thought we were done," I said. He didn't even need to say anything to make me understand that we were, in fact, not done. "Are you mad?"

“Annoyed,” he turned back to me. “What the heck was that answer? Of course, a third year in the Challenge and a reserve seat in WEC are not ideal. I was hoping for a real answer, not some… whatever that was.”

“It’s the reality,” I shrugged. Instead of turning back and going back to do whatever he was about to do, he just kept looking at me. Not the conversation I was hoping for today.

“You had a plan. What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing happened. I had a plan. And it’s going as it’s possible.”

"Excuses, Eva," Rocco exclaimed. He stepped forward and looked me in the eye. "You have a plan. You know what you want. And you have the talent."

“Congrats, you just solved gender inequality.” I gave him an ironic thumbs up, my mind still scrambled from the efforts of the workout and the encounter from last night. This kind of conversation was not what I wanted.

“You’re more than capable of getting a decent seat next year.”

“As we know,” I wiggled my finger between both of us, “It’s a tough path. Being capable won’t get me a seat. ”

“Locking yourself in an office keeping track of TikTok trends will?” I sent him a look. He held up his hands in defence. “You’re making excuses. There are other drivers fighting for the same things as you are and they are not taking no for an answer.”

“Neither am I.”

"Come on," he chortled, eying me carefully. I could tell that he wanted the best for me, but I was not really in the mood to discuss this at the moment. "When was the last time you actually planned something for yourself, and not just some new fashion designer or boujie vegan chef?"

I felt a little bit of annoyance creeping its way up my spine. I had been pushing myself so hard for the last few months, and I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with all the pressure.

“Can we focus on the races I have left to win?” I asked, my voice taking on an exasperated tone. “We can talk about this after I win this championship?”

“Sure.” He bent down to grab a 15 kg power bag from the floor and dropped it off at my feet. "This wasn't planned, but that self-pity is annoying me."

“A punishment?" I took my hands to my hips, a light chortle abandoning my lips. "Burpees and never-ending lounges? That's what you think I need right now?"

"No, no burpees," he said, his grin widening. "But maybe a few extra lounges wouldn't hurt." He was clearly enjoying this. I rolled my eyes and glanced down at the power bag in front of me.

“It was not—”

He cleared his throat, cutting me off, and I went silent. Then, looking at him, I saw that he was grinning at me once again, content. Yeah, it was self-pity. Yeah, the future is scary, especially when you’re a 25-year-old woman in motorsports and your career seems to be stuck.

I took a deep breath and bent over to pick up the bag, the cold weight of it dragging my body down to the ground. Rocco took a few steps back and then motioned me with his head to start.

"Andiamo," he said. “20 steps back and forth. Three series.”

So I did. I started lounging with the bag, back and forth across the green patch of turf on that side of the gym, trying to keep a steady pace. With each step, the pressure of the bag weighed me down. I kept going, pushing forward and gritting my teeth against the pain. When I finally reached the twentieth step, I dropped the bag and breathed out, my body aching from the effort.

By the end of the third series, I had pushed my body to its very limits and back. I sunk down onto the cool grass beneath me, feeling the relief of the softness beneath me—my muscles aching and my body dripping with sweat, my hair matted to my neck and temples.

Rocco sat near me, guiding me through a couple of moves, helping me to loosen my tight muscles and stretch out my body. Despite the big (and somewhat threatening) muscles he had a gentle touch.

“What’s on your mind?”

"Hm?" I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing together as I closed my eyes, feeling his hand pressing down on my thigh, pushing it firmly against the hard floor. I could feel the pain radiating through my body, but I tried to focus on the sensation of his grip.

“You always complain this hurts,” he said. I opened one eye. Now, I could feel the pressure from his grip. Probably something shifted on my face because he instantly asked, “Now it hurts?”

"It hurt before, I was just distracted." I shook my head, closing my eyes again and focusing on the sensation of his grip. “I’m free to feel like shit when things go badly." I let out.

“Things are not going badly,” he sighed, leaving my leg and switching to the other. “You’re simply letting yourself fall behind.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, my head falling back against the floor. I stayed there for a few moments, my heart pounding against my chest and my thoughts racing a million miles per hour. When I finally opened my eyes again, I looked up at Rocco, this time because I felt my thigh burning with discomfort, he was still looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Too much." I glanced below while patting his arm. He raised an eyebrow, implying more pressure. "Ei!" I scrunched my nose. He just arched a brow. Sadistic fucker. “What? Are you going to hurt me until I hold someone at gunpoint and ask for a seat?”

“You talk like you don’t have good offers, Eva.”

“What is a good offer? Driving against 19-year-old boys in Formula 3? It’s humiliating.”

“W Series?” He suggested.

“I want to race with men and show people I can win against them.” I sat down. Rocco took his hands from my legs. My muscles tingled with the same intensity my thoughts did. “I like the Challenge because I’m showing them I can do it. But the team does not have a budget to race in other series. And I can’t be a reserve forever. So I can do another year and hope things change.”

“See? You’re choosing to fall behind.” He took a deep breath, understanding my frustration. "You can always look for sponsorship," he said, his eyes focused on the floor. "You have the talent, the connections—"

“I spent my teenage years sending letters and desperately trying to talk to people. You saw how that went.”

“You have results to show them, now. In two weeks you’ll have a championship.” I dragged my hands over my face. Instant regret. Both my hands and face were tingling with the same intensity my thoughts did. “W Series will give you exposure. Will give you points. You need points..”

“Why are you so interested now?” I arched an eyebrow, feeling a bit suspicious. “The year is long. Anything can happen. A lot can change.”

“I just don’t see you planning ahead.” He deadpanned, his expression unreadable. “What if you can’t do another season of the Challenge? Will you be content with just being a reserve in WEC?”

“Why so many ifs?” I asked, still feeling a bit apprehensive.

“Motorsports are unpredictable,” he replied, his voice steady and sure. “I’ve been around long enough to know that. And I’m your coach, not just a trainer. It’s kinda my responsibility to do this.”

“Nah, I’m not having it.” I paused, still not entirely convinced. “Do you know something I don’t?”

Rocco just shook his head. The dark strands of his hair moved in unison. “Eva—” He shrugged. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. Whatever he was about to say, it seemed like it wasn't completely true. "One," he continued; his tone shifting. "I don't want to be left without a job when you get bored of racing." I threw my towel at him, though I knew he was only joking. Unfortunately, he dodged it. "Two," he continued, "you're racing like a pro. You should race with the pros."

At least, in one thing he was right. I was racing like a pro.

On the other hand, I was not acting like one.

My team and my dad, the main sponsor, were the only support I had. Despite having other offers, none met our expectations. I had been a third, fourth, or fifth driver for too long. I had spent too much time in the garage, running simulations, and taking part in test sessions. Years of it. Each of these experiences had demoralized me.

Racing in the Challenge, learning with my team, taking time to understand the car and driving it to a podium made sense to me. Standing in the garage and hoping for someone to get food poisoning or COVID was not only morally wrong but also quite dull.

“Did you make this whole drama when Rio told you he wanted to stop racing and just go to college and become an engineer?” I asked, getting up from the floor and picking up my towel, still lying on the ground.

“It was worse actually,” my trainer said, following me. “I think I almost killed him when he told me.”

“We make quite the pair, don’t we?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, you do. Your poor father has his hands full with you two.” We stopped walking when we reached the locker room. “Go have a shower and get some rest.”

The second I reached my locker and opened the wooden door, I reached for my phone, looking for a message that hadn't arrived. Pathetic. A part of me considered taking the initiative and being the one to call or text him but, to be honest, what was left for me to say?

I had already told him everything by asking him not to kiss me and I might have told him even more by refusing to let go of him.

The office smelled of churros, so I knew Amanda was around. Either that or someone else had the same idea as her.

Familiar faces smiled back at me as I crossed the corridors and the work areas until I finally reached the common area and took one of the available seats. Since I had chosen to work remotely, and only visited the office casually for occasional meetings or when I needed a place where I could focus, I wasn't given an office.

The room was filled with the buzz of people chatting and the occasional laughter, making me feel a bit out of place. I knew most of them (read: I knew their names and which projects were under their purview), but rarely talked to any of them. Amanda, one of my friends from college, and the one who had introduced me to this agency was the only one I regularly talked with.

I sat down in my chair and pulled my laptop out of my bag. After talking with Rocco yesterday, I decided to take action on my career and spent last night looking at emails and reading my dad's notes on the sides of those he considered important enough to print. So, when I opened my laptop, my screen showed me my Notion board, which honestly felt like a showcase of my own failures. Not the first thing I wanted to see that morning.

A knock on the glass divider of the office made me lift my head up and find Amanda on the other side of it. A beautiful purple jumper highlighted her beautiful curves; her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. In her hands, a white box.

I waved at her.

“Vamos,” she motioned with her head. “Before anyone tries to steal these from me.”

I smiled and grabbed my laptop, zipping it up before getting up and walking towards her. “You know I have an important weekend ahead, right?”

She laughed, opening the box. “A churro won't weigh you down, don't worry.”

I took one of them and walked near her to the cafeteria. The morning light was soft, and the day was not too warm. Ideal to sit on the balcony and talk for a while. So, that's what we did. I grabbed coffee for both, while she walked outside.

The sunshine on my skin was just a slight warmth as I leaned on my chair, and the smooth breeze of the morning cooled off my skin. Traffic sounds in the background, the ruffle of chairs and the occasional bark of one of the dogs playing on the balcony of the start-up that shares the building with us.

While having a sip of her coffee, I noticed Amanda's eyes widening, and I could practically see the bell ringing in her mind. Instantly, my brows were drawn together. Brace yourself, Eva.

"So, I heard on Twitter dot com…" I rolled my eyes at the last part, and despite provoking a small chuckle from her, she didn't stop talking and her gaze still remained twinkling mischievously. "Carlos was in Mugello last weekend."

Oh, for fucks sake.

"If that's what Twitter says, it must be true."

"Yes. So," she paused. Her head tilted slightly, honestly looking like a pup who saw a threat in the distance. "Did you two talk?"

I shook my head; my fingers busy on the handle of my mug, desperately trying to seem unbothered by the question. "Nah, we didn't talk."

"You sure?" She asked, her eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, my voice steady. "It's not like we're friends or anything."

"That's too bad," she murmured, a hint of disbelief in her voice. "It's not like Carlos and your brother are still like, the best of friends and maybe— maybe he went there to visit him and you end up talking?"

I sighed. "Stop it."“You're a terrible liar, Eva.” Amanda said bluntly, her gaze intense.

“Amanda,” I said, my voice stern and my eyes piercing. "Stop it."

“So, you talked.” Amanda gave me a knowing look. "I knew it. I saw those tweets and I realised we had barely talked this week, and that only happens when you're too busy overthinking. And then boom, I woke up to dozens of notes made at 2 am? You always go to bed early." She crossed her arms, her gaze still intense. "Come on, just tell me what happened. If it’s not him, it’s anything else. That worries me too. I'm here for you, no judgement."

I sighed. "Fine," I said, setting my mug down and leaning back on the chair. "We talked. A lot. We actually had dinner."

Amanda's gaze softened, but then she frowned again. “Dinner? The three of you?”

“The two of us.”

"Just the two of you?" Amanda's eyes widened in surprise, lips smiling brightly. I nodded to her question. "What did you talk about?"

A part of me wanted to end it there. The other part of me needed some guidance. And Amanda was a friend, she always had good advice. On the downside, she loved to gossip. But we were friends. Guidance. But gossip.

I shrugged. “Just normal things. Racing.”

“Okaaaay, that’s good.” At this point, her lips were curving up like she was the one having dinner with him. I couldn’t decide if her reaction annoyed me or made me happy. "So, what now? Are you going to keep in contact with him?"

I shook my head. "I don't think the dinner changed anything.” Liar.

“Eva,” she propped her elbows on the table. “You’re a terrible liar. Spit it out. What happened? If you don’t want to talk about it, tell me that. Just don’t lie.”

Talking about it would make a big deal. A bigger deal, actually. I dragged my hands over my face, tired and confused. Thinking about it was challenging enough and I truly didn't want to transform all my confusion and emotions into words. Amanda, on the other hand, couldn't hide the fact that she wanted the truth, her gaze so strong it almost made me melt over the iron (and obnoxiously red) chair I was sitting on.

So I told her. Every single detail. From the glorious vision of him under the bright lights of my garage, which for a second made me feel like I was living in an alternate world, through the call at dawn, to his gauze under the beautiful sunset glow. His warm, velvety lips brushing against mine. I told her about the “I think I might have loved you, too”, and the way that even in my dreams I couldn’t seem to forget his scent when he hugged me goodbye.

I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, as I spilled my heart out onto that small table, and when I finished all I could hear was the sound of her sigh. A ridiculous rom-com kind of sigh.

“I just feel like we messed it up because of pure desperation,” I said, crossing one leg over the other and looking around. “He messed it up. I think we just missed each other so much we… I don’t know. Got confused on the feelings?”

“He messed up?”

“I didn’t kiss him back. I just asked him to please, don’t.” It was more ridiculous saying it out loud now than when I recalled the moment in my mind.

“You’re even stupider than I thought,” was her answer. I arched my brow. “The guy cooked for you, at his place, told you he “thinks he loved you too” and tries to kiss you and now you’re mad because he didn’t text you?” She paused. “What the hell will he say? Of course, he won’t text you. What would you say to someone after being denied a kiss? Text him yourself.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Why not? I asked myself the same question. Because I can’t trust him to stay. Better, because I can’t trust him to not leave. “Don’t be stubborn, come on. Just by looking at you, I know you’re dying to get that kiss.”

“Can’t we go back inside and talk about work?”

“Oh, no, missy.” She shook her head. “Those AB tests can wait. I want to talk about you and how you’re so dumb you might lose the chance of your life.”

“You’re exaggerating. As always.”

“Eva.” She was stern, her eyes burning on me. “He was your best friend. At least try to mend that friendship. Even if you don’t want anything else. Whatever the reason.”

I sighed, bowing my head in defeat. Amanda had a way of making me see sense, even when I didn't want to. "And if I can’t see him as a friend but still can’t give a step in the other direction?”

“Then, you give it time. Just don’t give it too much space.” She got up from her chair. Mug on one hand. The empty white box on the other. “Remember how that worked up last time.”

Fact one about Amanda: she was probably the most curious person I knew. Any arguments in the office, celebrity rumours or gossip of literally any kind she knew by heart, down to the last detail. And while that was remotely irritating, especially at exhausting times, like during Amber and Johnny’s trial, or when (especially when) the news broke about Pique and Shakira's divorce, it could also be a blessing. At least from my point of view. Perhaps all the stories contributed to her having a broader view of relationships and, as a result, being so good at giving advice. Fact two: there was no one more insistent than her, so, evidently, she couldn’t leave the office without reminding me to text him.

It was 5 pm, and I was utterly absorbed in the presentation for the new restaurant. I was head down, consumed by the details of culinary and marketing analytics, and, to tell the truth, my mind was so focused on this project that I couldn't really think of anything else.

Amanda was getting ready to leave. Jacquemus purse over her shoulder and a strong pink lipstick on the place where a less saturated one had been during the day.

“You stay?” She asked me.

“Aham,” I briefly made my eyes leave the screen to look at her. “I need to finish this. Next week I’ll be too busy.”

“You leaving for Italy on Monday?”

“Tuesday,” I corrected her, my eyes going back down to the laptop. “Don’t want to leave this to the last minute.”

“Okay. I’ll try to have a look at it before you leave. Also,” my eyes went up again. “Send the man a good luck text.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. "He doesn't need my luck text.”

Amanda nodded, her eyes still twinkling mischievously. "Okay, send him a whatever text, then. An emoji. Like his Instagram story.”

“I’m afraid liking his story won’t work.” I leaned back on her office chair, which I had taken in the middle of the day when she needed to leave for a meeting and left me to use her small office.

“Text him, then. Anything. I wouldn’t let Carlos Sainz escape, but you do you, babes,” she shrugged, turning her back to me to walk to the door.“Enjoy the weekend. Besos!”

“Bye!”

I didn’t text him. Of course. In the same way, she was insistent, I was stubborn.

Actually, let me rephrase it.

I didn’t text him then.

Mid-afternoon, Rio had called inviting me to dinner, and when I asked about the kids, he told me he had booked a nanny, so they would stay home. It was either business or pleasure. I didn't need to ask; as soon as he mentioned my dad was invited, I knew we'd be discussing business. And after Rocco's worries last night, I knew it was partly my business, too.

My nerves were on edge as I prepared to leave the office. They only worsened as I neared the restaurant - a way too fancy place for a Friday dinner with the family.

Crossing the sidewalk, my heels clacking on the cement, my head spinning from the long hours in front of my laptop, and the anxiety building in my chest, I looked inside. My dad was seated at the end of the table, with an empty seat to his right - the seat I was supposed to take. Marjorie was already waving at me. Smiling politely to the man standing at the door, I said, "They're waiting for me." He nodded and let me enter.

My eyes drifted to their table, and I allowed myself a few seconds to study the mood. They were laughing, but my palms were still sweating as I settled in for what would surely be an uncomfortable conversation.

"Sorry, traffic," I said, punctuating my apology with a kiss on each of my parents' cheeks. "Am I too late?"

"No, no," my dad said, his voice warm and comforting. "Your brother was about to tell me something, but you just distracted him. Go ahead, Fabrizio."

I turned to him, curious.

"I'm sure we can wait a bit more. Just... after the food," he said.

"Why are you so nervous?" Marjorie asked, her violet fingernails softly laying over his arm in a gentle caress. "It's something good," she said to me. "Don't worry."

"Are you pregnant again?" my mom asked.

"No! No, no!" my sister-in-law responded quickly, her voice almost echoing in the room. Even Rio seemed surprised by her rapid response. "It's Rio's news. Not mine."

“After the food, then,” my father said.

“I hate it when I do that,” I muttered to my brother, grabbing the menu from the table and letting my eyes drift through the print. “You haven’t ordered yet, right?”

My dad shook his head. "We were waiting for you.”

I glanced at the menu one last time before setting it back down. My dad's hand called for a waiter and, after the young man left, the conversation resumed. As usual before any Grand Prix, the race weekend was the matter on the table and, that night specifically, Carlos' penalty was the urgent matter. Ferrari had the pace and Carlos had the skill, but as I sat there, hearing my brother and dad's input on how wise the choice had or hadn't been, my attention diverged to the DNF he had suffered in Austria, less than two weeks ago. Vivid images of the flames engulfing the car, the heartbreaking words on the radio, and the cheers that echoed through the crowd as his teammate stepped onto the top step filled my mind.

One feeling the glory, the other one consumed in ruin.

“Good luck out there this weekend.” "Don’t pull another Austria. That one was scary.”

Done. I’d texted him. For better or for worse, it was done. And I didn’t have time to put the phone back in the purse before it vibrated again in my hand.

“Thank you. I really need it.”

I checked the time.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’m resting." "Listening to my teammate rant about food, but resting.”

“Why? Did you tell him about the cheese-less pasta you tried to feed me?” “If I expect Leclerc to teach you something is how to cook pasta."

"He’s a terrible cooker.” “I’m better learning it from you.”

"I’ll be sure to give you a lesson someday."

"I'll hold you to that."

  "What are you smiling about?" Marjorie asked, my attention immediately being grabbed from my screen to the table.

"Nothing, sorry," I said quickly, tucking my phone back into my purse. "Amanda just texted me about the work I was finishing.”

"Ah, Eva, if you put that effort into racing…" he said, as the waiter came back with our food. I tried to ignore him, especially because there was no use fighting back his comment.

Even with the food on the table and the anticipation to find out about Rio’s news tugging on my chest, the conversation didn’t go further from Formula 1. My dad, a lifelong Italian Ferrari fan and a very biased Carlos supporter was ranting over the lack of professionalism he was sensing from the team and how the choices they repeatedly made ruined not only the drivers but the prestige of the team. Nothing new. Rio and I have been listening to the same tirade for a long couple of years and nothing seemed to change, even after the amazing start to the season the team had.

“I had my reservations at first, but you could be a nice fit for the team, actually”, my dad said, pointing at Rio, with the knife he was using to cut his steak. Rio looked confused at him, and then, at me. “Have they given you an answer?”

What?

For a moment, I felt like I’d fallen on a different table, a completely different conversation. My gaze shifted from one to the other, confused by my father’s question.

“Who’s they?” I asked. Marjorie was biting her lip; her violet fingertips on my brother’s arm, once again.

“Ferrari,” my father responded, clearly stepping over my brother’s feet. Rio seemed bothered; clenched jaw, restless fingers that Marjorie tried to calm by positioning hers over. “Are those the news?” He asked him.

Rio nodded, his jaw unclenching and his lips transforming to a slight grin. "Yep. They offered me a job." He looked around the table, his gaze caught mine for a second but quickly left again. “I need to let them know my decision until Monza.”

“You applied for a job at Ferrari?” I asked. Honestly, I was so confused I couldn’t piece all the things together. “We’re doing so good at the Challenge, you could have waited for just one m—”

“Eva.” My dad interrupted me. The strong stern voice pulled my attention. The authority value of his words over the sweet comforting voice of the beginning of the dinner. The mood had definitely shifted “Wait? You’re the one that’s always urging the team to aim for higher heights.”

"Exactly. The team won't do that without Rio."

"But your brother will. And so will you." I tried to interject but with no success. He continued before I even had the chance to talk. "You can't possibly think your brother would stay with the team knowing he could have this huge opportunity."

"I didn't know about any opportunity." I was replying to my father, but my eyes were directed to Rio. "What about the team? And the Challenge?" I inquired.

"In less than two weeks, the championship will be over. I have no doubts you will win it. You're just losing time there," my father's tone was bothering me, but the fact that he was still cutting his steak as he talked was really aggravating my temper.

Rio, on the other hand, didn't react. His expression didn't even shift. He remained silent, eyes shifting between mine and dad's face. In his silence, though, he was telling me much more than he thought.

"This is not a formality," I said to my father. "Can you please look at me while you talk about our future?"

Finally, he put down his cutlery and remained silent for a few seconds. Deep blue eyes looked up at me, cold and serious.

"There's no future for you if you're afraid to take a serious step," he said finally. "I won't let your brother get stuck in the Challenge when I know he can do so much more. I won't let you make him fall behind because of you."

"Because of me?"

"Why else would he stay at the Challenge?" I stayed silent, feeling my fake sense of confidence being stripped away with the weight of my dad's question. The answer that my conscience gave me was selfish and I refused to say it out loud. I was afraid of staying alone, rather, I was afraid to see Rio flying solo in the higher aims I ambitioned for me and not being able to carry along. Only if he waited, we could jump up together. "Why would he choose anything less than Formula One?"

"So, you have it decided, then?" I asked Rio. "How did that even happen?"

His tongue crept in between his lips, eyes wandering on my face, afraid to reach my eyes. It was making me nervous. Not just because he was about to leave me, but because he didn't tell me about it, prior. My dad knew about it. He even thought that I knew about it. And like a lightning bulb lighting up on my head: Rocco knew it, too.

"It was proposed to me. The job. At Silverstone, a few weeks ago." Even though Rio was stuttering, and his words barely constructed a sentence, piece by piece it all fell together. "Apparently, Carlos talked to someone about you. About the Challenge. And he mentioned me, my results..." he explained. "Carlos invited me there for the Grand Prix and surprised me with an interview."

Why didn't it surprise me? Carlos. The “right time”, of course.

"Your results? Why hide this from me?” I asked, looking around the table. “Clearly, everyone else knows.”

“I wanted to tell you, but didn’t get the chance to do it.”

“But what?” I asked, half defeated, half annoyed. Angry, even. There was so much going on inside me, I couldn’t think straight. “You just said you had the interview in Silverstone. Weeks ago. You had plenty of opportunities.”

“I knew you would snap and react like this,” Rio tried to justify himself.

“Snap? I’m not—” I paused and took a deep breath. At this point, I was seething with anger. “I’m asking questions. I’m not… snapping.”

“You should be happy for me,” I would if I didn’t feel betrayed. “I know you well enough to know that you would react… badly to the news. Especially if you knew Carlos was involved**.**”

Even though his name was blinking on my head, in bold red letters, I tried to set apart his involvement in this story. So, I carried on,

“And you’re just going to do it? Leave the team, the whole project and ditch us? Without even consulting me?”

He shrugged. “I’m consulting you now.”

“This is not a consultation, Rio. Please.” A pause. “This is you telling me what you’re going to do, without even considering my opinion or the team that’s behind your great results.”

“Go ahead.” He made a gesture with his hand. “What’s your opinion, then? You are the one that’s always telling me to aim higher. This is my dream. Always has been.”

“What? Formula One? I thought your dream was to drive in Formula One. Or was that before you noticed you’re a shitty driver? Enlighten me.”

“Eva, enough,” the deep voice cut me off.

I felt like I was going to burst. I wanted to scream, to cry, to express my anger somehow. But my dad's stern gaze kept me in my place. I felt completely helpless and unheard.

“You’re being ridiculous,” said Rio, cutting through the silence. “Childish, even. Ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful? I’m not the one leaving.”

“Why does leaving need to be bad?” The question settled in for a second. “Grow a bit, and maybe you’ll get some good opportunities too.”

“Sure, maybe then my friends will get me jobs, too. Is that what you mean?”

“Enough.” My dad's fist hit the table, loud enough to silence us, but not to the point of attracting too much attention.

My gaze lingered on his clenched fist on the table. I nodded, forcing myself not to say anything else. I placed my napkin on the table and got up, making sure my chair wouldn’t make any noise when pushed back. Before turning around, I paused briefly, my gaze now resting on my brother. “Good luck with your new job.”

  *

  It didn't surprise me when I saw Carlos fly through the track the next day, setting amazing times in the qualifying session, despite the penalty waiting for him for the race. He was dancing with the car, tracing beautiful lines within the colourful ones Paul Ricard was known for. Carlos would start P19 the next day, only ahead of Magnussen, who also had a back-of-the-grid penalty.

I traded the interviews for a dip in the pool and lingered there for the remainder of the afternoon. Perhaps because I was not the best person to have around that day, my parents had left just before lunch and didn't get back until after dinner. Alone, with music echoing throughout the house and the crippling anxiety the events that week had provoked, I felt myself get lost in the doubts and uncertainties.

My phone rang when I was already getting ready for bed. On my nightstand, the name Carlos appeared over an old photo of both of us. Like I couldn't control it, I walked to the phone and sat on the bed. I let it ring a few times before picking it up.

“Hi,” he said. I just looked through the window, to the dark backyard. “No good luck text today?”

“Guess not.”

“And why's that?”

“Did you know Rio had an interview to work at Ferrari?”

“Yes...?” He paused. “Is that a problem?”

“Did you know he got a job offer?”

We both fell into a moment of silence. A long sigh stretched through the line. I closed my eyes, not sure what to expect from the conversation. The next time his voice was heard, it was more serious.

"Can we stop asking questions instead of answering them?"

"The timing is funny," I said. "Just that."

"What do you mean?"

"You coming to Mugello? Was that a coincidence?"

"Eva, what?" Carlos was silent for a few seconds. "Don't make this into a drama," he said. "Rio is talented and if he got a job offer it's because he earned it. The things are not remotely related."

"I'm not complaining about him getting the job."

"Then what are you complaining about?" Carlos asked.

"That it took you years to finally come back and talk to me and it happened just when he got a job in your team. Did you really want to talk to me or did he make you do that?"

"I didn't do it for him," Carlos said. "I did it because I wanted to see you."

"I wish I could believe you."

"And why don't you?"

"It's been three years. Coincidences don't just happen."

I could hear him breathe. Silence weighed down my chest. He wasn't denying it. He wasn't telling me why he was there, that night. "Can I see you this week?" He asked me, before a long sigh.

"No."

"I'll be in Maranello for a few days." I bit my lip, shaking my head to the void. "You'll be in Imola, right? I can go there—"

"I don't want to see you." I talked over him and then paused for a brief second. "Don't show up there, please. It's an important week and I don't really need more distractions."

“Eva, por favor.”

“Good luck tomorrow.”

I put my phone away and let myself sink into the bed, feeling nothing but the warmth of the comforters on my skin and the instant sense of security that came over me. I allowed my eyes to close and my mind to drift away, and before I knew it, a prayer for Carlos came into my thoughts.

I prayed for strength for both him and me, for us. I knew that, whether we were on or off the track, we would need to find a way to get through whatever was to come.

Next Chapter: 04.

Thank you for your support in the previous chapter! Carlos will become a more present character in the future. Pinky promise. Don't abandon me until that happens, please! <3

[snazzi-strawberri-artz]

AAAAAAAAAAA IM FINALLY DONE WITH CHARACTER SHEETS FOR MY ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE KIDS WHICH IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR AGES NOW😭😭😭

Although i couldnt fully finish quinn and alice because school is starting literally tomorrow for me so i had to cut down on the expressions and poses 😭 and also i want to work on something different now HAHA

BUT YEAH!! if you wanna see me ramble abt em and know more abt their lore and some additional sketches of em together, ill put em below to save your scrolling fingers!! :]

OKOK SO!! The designs on the character sheets are actually a bit of redesigns!

Like for example, Alice was supposed to have a bunny mask like the pic below, but i changed it because i couldnt think of a solid reason WHY shed have the bunny mask so unmasked it is! (although, a bit sad to lose the bunny mask because it was a cool design, but i can always use it in another oc i suppose!)

(Although i put a lil bunny design on her sneakers in her post apocalypse design, as a lil nod to this!)

OKAY SO THEIR LORE!! AHEM AHEM

Carmen : Shes the typical rich kid that comes from a prestigious rich school that few can get in, although their parents pressure them alot especially in how she presents herself and in her studies :(

She often gets forced to do things she doesnt want to do, but because of her parents high expectations and harsh judgement, they do it anyway even if theyre unhappy abt it :( [thats the reason why she looks so sad in her pre apoc. design!]

And in one of those things she doesnt want to do but does anyway because she was forced by her parents was Ballet!! And in that ballet class, they meet Darcy. She absolutely hates him in how much he trashtalks her and in every mistake they do, making her even more miserable. But even so, shes actually really good at ballet!! she just hates it HAHA <3

But ohoho!!! The apocalypse comes!! And she finds that with no society judging her every move, she finds freedom to be themselves!!! Mischievious and sly, as well as loving beating things up!! <3

Post apocalypse time! They realize that life is too short and precious to constantly worry about what you look like and to always cower under her parents gaze, so she goes #girlboss and lives her life the way she always wanted to be >:] She gets so good in fighting zombies that she becomes an instructor in self defense!! B]

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Darcy : ALSO a typical rich kid thats also very annoying and pompous in every way, loves belittling and trashtalking others for his own benefit <3

Hes also brothers with Anthony! Although they have a very strained relationship (to the point he wont talk to him) because Anthony never defended Darcy against their parents whenever they chastised him for wanting to be a ballerina because that aint a 'boys' thing and that fact he never was 'manly enough'🙄

But how does Darcy get these prestigious ballet lessons you may ask? Well he gets funded by his way cooler uncle B] in who he lives with!

Hes top in his ballet class, being the star pupil even, until Carmen arrived that changed everything. She was just as good as him, and maybe even more. And that shook him to the core. He had to be better than everyone, he just has to! Because what else was his effort and fight for?

So yeah, WOOHOO RIVALRY!!!! He made fun of her at every turn, talked shit behind her back, just anything to maker her miserable so they would stop attending classes.

Untillll the apocalypse came :]]] AHEHEHEE he was sure put in his place, as he had to begrudgingly team up with Anthony and Carmen of all people to survive. Although, they do get to bond, and becomes a better person during and after the apocalypse.

POST APOCALYPSE YAYY OKAY SO hes achieving his dream and training to be a ballet instructor!! >:D

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Anthony : Hes a super duper kind sweetheart, very much contrasting to his brother, Darcy! Hes the captain of his schools soccer team too! Combined the fact that hes very kind and also very good at soccer, no wonder many other kids get crushes on him, but he never really returns the feelings.

But at the other side of the coin, hes afraid of making other people sad or disappointed, to the point where hes non-confrontational and self-sacrificing, and wants to be useful to others.

And why does he and Darcy have a complicated, strained relationship you may ask? Well hes afraid of confronting his parents that he ends up betraying Darcys trust and hurting his feelings because hes too afraid to defend him, even if he really wanted to. He feels really guilty about it everyday, but he cant bring himself to say a word against their parents.

At the start of the apocalypse, his first thought was to find Darcy. And with the help of Carmen and Quinn, he does! And during the apoc., it was hard to try to rebuild their relationship, but through understanding and trust, they become close again as they were when they were little children :]

And uh,, youre probably wondering why he doesnt have a post apocalypse design? To simply put it, he sacrificed himself for everyone to get out safely <3

--------

Quinn : The typical mean delinquent girlie who always gets in trouble in school along with her squad of bullies as they like bullying other kids and messing shit up that gives their school a constant headache😌😌😊

But sometimes, in the back of her mind, she knows that what shes doing and what her other 'friends' are doing can get too far. But that gets overlapped be her squads pressure to do shitty things. She cant turn back now, can she? She has no one except for her squad of 'friends'! 😔 So better do what they ask so she doesnt disappoint em! Plus the fact her family life is just... not good!!

[One person in particular got bullied so much that they moved schools because of them, which is Alice]

When the apocalypse hit, all her 'friends' left her to die, but was saved by Carmen! Hooray!! And during the apoc., with no squad to pressure her on, she doesnt know who she is without them. But she cant help but feel like she can breathe more as well. Plus the fact that shes teaming up with Alice, and has to confront her complicated feelings of the past with that.

after the apoc., she never goes back to her previous way of life, and goes to study to become a therapist so she could help troubled youth, as she was never given the help she needed before.

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Alice : A very shy, quiet girl whod prefer to be in the corners to not be noticed by anyone. Very low confidence in her self as well as very self consious- as she was bullied in her previous school.

When the apocalypse came, she was saved by Carmen, Anthony, Darcy, and...Quinn??? One of her previous bullies from her previous school??? Gasp!! But yes During the apocalypse she slowly finds confidence in herself again, letting all out her feelings in smashing zombies heads!! >:D You go girl!!

And with Quinn, although she may never forgive her, she slowly gets along with her along the way.

After the apoc.,,,,, well honestly i have no idea ill just have to think about it more HAHA

--------------

AAANNDDD THATS IT THANK U FOR READING IF YOU DID!! :D Heres a strawberry as a reward!!🍓🍓🍓

[indycinders]

A Virtue of Love :: A Restart Heart Fanfic

starring my OC I haven't finished drawing yet: Cecelia Dust

NSFW for a large part, then it turns into fluff. Apologies if there's any OOC!

Restart Heart, Ezra, and Ellie belong to @queenlilithprime @restartheartvn

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

MDNI :: CW: mentions of medical issues and needles :: WC: 3,174

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Cecelia stepped inside Ezra’s home quietly. She followed behind them as they led her to his bedroom. It was still early in the night, but she knew to be quiet as Ellie was sleeping. Ezra opened the door and gestured for her to enter first, so she did.

She stood a little stiffly in the middle of the room as he entered and closed the door. They took a step towards her, a little unsure. Their face had a cautious smile but his eyebrows were slightly pinched in worry.

“Sugar…? Are you alright?” he asked in his soft and soothing voice.

Cecelia nodded and gave him a small smile. “Um, yeah. I was just… I wanted to talk.”

Something like a hint of worry clouded their eyes for a brief second before their expression evened out to a look that was more guarded. “About what?”

She glanced around the room, fidgeting with her auburn curls and feeling her face start to heat up. “This probably seems sudden and weird,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. Maybe it could wait until tomorrow?”

“It’s nighttime already. I can’t leave while Ellie is sleeping, and I don’t want you going out alone,” Ezra replied. “Please, tell me what’s wrong? Did… did someone hurt you?”

Cecelia’s blue eyes flicked up to his, startled. “Oh, no! No, no one hurt me. Well, not recently, I guess…” she trailed off and looked away again.

They took another hesitant step closer to her, still unsure of what was going on and what prompted her to suddenly message him out of the blue, much less show up practically unannounced. If it hadn’t been so late at night and if Ellie hadn’t been asleep, they probably wouldn’t have invited her in.

She could feel his burning curiosity boring into her skin and she sighed. “I’m just going to… ramble a bit, if that’s okay? Just… let me try to get it out.”

She took a few more steps into his room, idly glancing around at his stuff while her mind sorted out her words. “I know it hasn’t been that long since we started hanging out, like, regularly. And even less time since the whole… thing happened,” she wrinkled her nose at the thought of it.

“It hurt a lot at first… that type of betrayal. It’s the kind of thing to make you feel like you’ll never want to be in another… relationship again, you know?” Her eyes darted to his face but Ezra was doing a good job at hiding whatever emotions they were feeling.

“And, you know, with everything going on with me, personally,” she said, gesturing to her body. Cecelia had been living with her chronic illness for several years now, and the stress of Sarah’s announcement had almost done her in completely. She was taking shots almost daily still, months after the event. “I’m not exactly 'commitment material'.”

She continued her slow pace, just looking at the miscellaneous items in Ezra’s room, not really paying attention to anything. It was helping her articulate her thoughts and feelings, though. “I’m not asking anything of you, though!” she said suddenly, wanting to make it clear. “I’m not, like, shopping around for a caretaker. I know you have your hands full with Ellie already, and, god, I do not need to add more onto your plate.”

Another sigh escaped her full lips. “I’m not making much sense, am I?” she asked sheepishly, not turning around to look at him.

Ezra chuckled softly, “Take your time, sugarsnap.”

She studied the partially completed miniatures on the bookshelf. “Anyway, what was I saying?” she mumbled to herself, “Ah. I… well, I know I’m sick. N-not as sick as Ellie or anything, but I’m not exactly a walk in the park either. I have a lot of needs even on my best days. Again, not asking anything of you, just… rambling. Explaining, I suppose? Or maybe I’m warning you.”

“Warning?” he chuckled again.

“Shh,” she shushed them playfully. “I said no interrupting.” She was standing in front of Ezra’s drafting table now, running one of her delicately manicured fingers along its edge. “I guess I just want you to know everything. And that I’ll understand if you’d rather not accept it. Because I’m not, I guess, as ‘able-bodied’ as other people.”

Cecelia finally turned and faced him, her expression calm and expectant but inside she was like a whirling storm of anxiety. Ezra blinked a few times, wondering if she was going to continued. “Accept… what?” he asked after a moment.

“My feelings,” she stated, her tone confused. “For… for you. My feelings for you.”

“Wait,” they said, blinking again, shifting their stance and running a hand through their hair. “That was a confession?”

“… Yes?” Cecelia seemed a little perturbed by his reaction. “Was that not obvious?”

“Cecelia, nothing of what you said in the last ten minutes gave me the impression that you were confessing to me,” he laughed but kept it quiet.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down, her face red from embarrassment. “Do I need to spell it out for you?”

“I would like that, yes. I don’t want to… have any miscommunication. If you’re being honest here, I want complete clarity,” his voice was soft again, gentle as he explained to her.

She nodded and took a deep breath in. Looking back up at Ezra, she met his eyes and said, “I… like you, Ezra. A lot, actually. More than I thought I would. I want to… be with you, but like I said. Knowing what you know, I’ll understand if it’s too much. If… I’m too much for you.”

Ezra couldn’t believe what she was saying. The smile on their face grew so much it was almost painful. His long legs closed the distance between them, and in one swift, smooth motion, their large hands were on either side of Cecelia’s face. He leaned in close and pressed his soft lips against hers. They smiled at the quick intake of breath she did just before their lips met.

He pulled away slightly and gazed into her eyes, hoping his feelings were blatantly on display for her. “Sugarsnap, I’d love nothing more than to be with you, too.”

“R-really?” she whispered so quietly. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

They leaned down to kiss her again, more firmly this time. Cecelia let go of her worries and uncrossed her arms, wrapping them around his torso and pressing her body into his. Ezra made a small noise in the back of their throat. One of his hands moved behind her head and held her there, while the other one stayed on her face and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

Eventually, Cecelia had to pull away to catch her breath, leaning her forehead against their chest. His arms wrapped around her in a way that wasn’t too tight; he was aware of her delicate body, and the last thing Ezra wanted to do was hurt her.

“Ezra,” she started, her voice muffled by his shirt. “Do you think we can…? I mean, I-I know it’s a little fast, but… God, I just want your touch right now.”

“Are you sure?” he asked softly as he caressed her hair, sending shivers down her spine.

She nodded. “Yes.”

They met again in another kiss. This time, Ezra pushed it further, parting his mouth and slipping his tongue out to gain entry to hers. She made a surprised sound, giggling a little, meeting him with her tongue as well, hesitantly and playfully flicking it against his. He pulled her backwards with him to the bed.

In a haze of heated desire and soft giggles as they undressed between kisses, they found themselves naked and sitting on Ezra’s bed a few minutes later. She was sitting in his lap with her legs wrapped around him. Her head was tilted back as they kissed her neck, nibbling along her collarbone and making her shudder. One of their hands was fondling her breast, running his thumb over her hardened nipple, sending jolts of hot electricity straight to her extremities.

Ezra’s other hand found its way between their bodies and lightly touched the outer lips of her already slick folds. He grinned against her skin, “Someone’s eager, I see.”

“S-shut up,” she whispered before being cut off by a gasp. Their finger circled her clit, making her back arch, the motion thrusting her breasts towards him.

His head leaned down and he flicked his tongue out to tease her nipple, eliciting the cutest whimper from her. “You’re making it very hard to be patient when you make those adorable sounds, my sweet,” he crooned softly.

She whined again as his finger continued its circle, working faster and with a little more firmness. “A-ah, Ezra—“ she panted softly. The only thing she could do was keep her grasp around his neck and shoulders while her body trembled as the delicious feeling inside her swelled.

“Mm, that’s right, Sugar. Say my name again,” he said, gently nipping at the bud of her breast.

The feeling of his teeth drove out another cute whine. “E-Ezra—!”

“Just like this?”

“Mhm—!”

He continued his circling motion, working her up into a frenzy. Suddenly, she tightened her grasp and pulled herself against them in a way that almost knocked them both sideways. She cried out softly into his shoulder as her climax peaked. Her body was violently trembling now, and he almost came just from the thought of how her pussy would feel squeezing around his shaft. He ached to be inside her, but he could be patient.

After the waves of ecstasy left her body, she panted against the crook of his neck, her damp hair sticking lightly to the back of her neck and her forehead. “T-that was… amazing.”

“Mm,” Ezra hummed, caressing her back and her thigh. “Do you want to keep going, Sugar?”

“Yes… just give me… a few,” she murmured, nuzzling into them. Her breath tickled his skin and he leaned forward to breathe in her scent, stifling a shudder through their own body.

After less than a minute, she peppered kisses against the side of his neck, trailing them up until she teased their earlobe with the tip of her tongue. He hummed again, softly biting her shoulder. “Ready?” they asked. She nodded.

She maneuvered her legs so she was straddling him, bracing herself with her hands on their shoulders again. She looked into his eyes, lowering herself onto his waiting cock, pausing just as it was pushing against her entrance. “I-it’s… my first time,” she whispered.

Surprise flashed in his eyes, then adoration. “Don’t worry, Sugar. Take all the time you need.”

Cecelia nodded and started lowering herself onto him. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes against the brief pain as she continued taking inch by inch of him inside her, feeling herself stretch out to accommodate its girth. She understood now why Ezra made sure she came first; it helped her relax and eased the transition into her.

Ezra groaned and tilted his head back a bit, closing his eyes and reveling in the feeling of her coming undone around his shaft. His hands were on her hips, squeezing her intently, but not enough to cause pain. They let out a shaky gasp when they were finally fully inside her.

Cecelia leaned against him, seeking comfort in the midst of the dull pain. Their arms wrapped around her tightly, their bodies melded together as they both drank in this precious moment. She lift her head, her lips sought out his, and she kissed him with the need for reassurance. Ezra gave it to her, mumbling soft praises in between each soft peck.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, kissing every part of her face. “So perfect and delicate, sweet as can be.”

She giggled softly and blushed, “Y-you’re very talkative…” she said. “S-sorry if… I’m not experienced.”

He kissed her again. “Don’t say that, dear,” he comforted her. “You’re doing fine. Lovely, in fact."

She nodded. Ezra leaned forward, tilting her backwards, and she maneuvered her legs to wrap around him again. He sat back, burying himself surprisingly even deeper into her. She let out another adorable whimper. “Are you okay to keep going?” he checked in.

“Yes.”

His movements were slow at first, working his cock in and out of her in an even and steady pace. She found herself clutching onto him and burying her face into his shoulder at this new and foreign sensation. Her whimpers turned into soft moans as he picked up the pace.

They continued like that, building up the respective pressures in their bodies, while increasing the speed and force of his thrusts. Cecelia had to bite her lip to stop herself from being any louder as he drove into her. The feeling of his cock grinding into her, the odd but pleasurable sensations of the piercings rubbing along inside her, all of it was dizzying and feverish and intimate and it was driving her mad.

“Ah—Sugar, I’m… getting close,” Ezra huffed, nuzzling into her neck as they spoke. “A-are you—?”

“Y-yes!” she gasped. “Ezra!”

Cecelia tightened her arms around him as another orgasm quaked through her body suddenly and overwhelmingly. The feeling of her pussy spasming around his shaft sent him over the edge immediately. Ezra impulsively bit down on her shoulder roughly, groaning into her skin, sending another shock of pleasure through her body and making her cover her mouth to stifle the sound of her moan.

She squeezed her muscles involuntarily as Ezra’s cock twitched inside her. Her grip on him lessened but still remained firm. He rubbed her back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, helping her come down from that climax as well.

Eventually, they disentangled and Ezra laid her on the bed while they went to grab a damp towel, cleaning her up with gentle movements and getting her some water. After a few moments, they snuggled in his bed together, Ezra’s arms protectively embracing her.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Several hours later, still in the dead of night, Cecelia stirred. The pain in the lower half of her body—in her hips, knees, and also in her shoulders—was what woke her up. She winced and looked up, confused about where she was. She saw Ezra’s relaxed sleeping face and remembered what had transpired, and she smiled.

The pain was too much for her to go back to sleep, though. Carefully, she slipped out of his embrace. She dressed in her clothes again and left his room with her purse, heading to the kitchen to use the light. She sat at the kitchen island, holding her medicine pen as she lifted her skirt, poking around her upper thigh for a less painful spot. As she was doing this, she heard the soft sweet voice of someone behind her.

“Rara?” the tone was confused and sleepy.

Cecelia turned around on the bar stool, surprised. She pulled the cap of the pen out of her mouth and put it on the counter top. “Hello,” she said softly. “Your brother is still sleeping.”

The girl’s brown eyes widened and she stared at the young woman warily. “Who are you?” she asked.

“Ah, sorry to startle you,” she replied. “My name is Cecelia Dust. I’m… Ezra’s girlfriend. You must be Eliana.”

The young girl narrowed her eyes, frowning. “You’re Cecelia?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit Ezra, but we accidentally fell asleep,” the young woman explained. “I can leave if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“What are you doing?” Ellie nodded at the pen in her hand.

Cecelia mulled over it before saying, “I’m sick, and I’m in pain right now, and I have to use this pen to inject medicine to help me deal with it.”

Ellie crossed her arms. “How do I know that’s not some sort of bad drug?”

“You can come read it, if you want. I have the little info book in my bag as well.” Cecelia offered, capping the pen to cover the needle and placing it on the counter.

The girl thought about it for a few moments before taking hesitant steps forward. She seated herself on a bar stool as well, albeit one away from Cecelia. She reached over to grab the pen and the booklet that had been pulled out of the other’s purse. Ellie looked over the pen and then opened the booklet, examining it.

After she read some of the contents, she nodded, satisfied, and slid the items back over. The girl seemed to relax a bit and said, “I’m sorry you have to take that stuff.”

Cecelia uncapped the pen and was getting ready to give herself the shot, “Oh, I’ve been on it a few years. It’s not too bad. Ah, but if you’re squeamish, you should probably look away?” she suggested.

Ellie huffed and rolled her eyes. Cecelia chuckled and went ahead with the shot. She didn’t wince in pain but it was evident in her face that she didn’t like it. Ellie watched on with curious and sympathetic eyes.

Cecelia put away the pen and booklet back into her purse once she was done. She turned back to the young girl and smiled. “All done,” she said. “What are you doing up at this time?”

“Same as you, I guess. I woke up because of pain.”

Cecelia’s brows furrowed in concern. “Is there anything you can take for it? Do you want some help with it?”

Ellie shook her head, “No, I’m okay. I wouldn’t leave my room unless it was really bad, but I saw the light on out here and thought Rara was up.”

“I see. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s just me.” Cecelia smiled.

Ellie gave a small smile in return and fidgeted in her seat. “Do you know how to make muffins?” she asked suddenly.

The young woman’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “I do. I also love baking.”

“Me too!” Ellie said excitedly. “Do you want to help me make some muffins so Rara can have one in the morning?”

“I’d love to, Eliana.” she grinned.

Cecelia slid off the bar stool, stifling the wince from the pain in her legs, and Ellie hopped off hers. Before they began, the girl said, "You can call me Ellie."

Cecelia paused and smiled warmly, nodding. They started moving around the kitchen, trying to be quiet while gathering the ingredients and the utensils and pans that were needed for such a task. They chatted quietly about different baking recipes, each sharing their own tips and insights.

Meanwhile, Ezra stood in the shadows of the hallway, leaning against the wall, watching them quietly. He’d woken up immediately when he heard Ellie calling for him. They’d seen everything that had gone down, from the introduction till now. When he heard both of them giggling about their baking mishaps, he grinned, placing a hand over his heart. Just as silently as he appeared, he slipped back into his room to lay on his bed and wait until Cecelia came back, leaving the door open just in case.

[yourimagines]

Nick 40 x reader 35

Nick having a relapse with his mental health

Super angsty, sad maybe some fluff at the end?

I hope you’re doing okay, if you need some to talk to hit me up.

Bad thoughts are bad times

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Triggers; Swearing, Angst, Sad, Mental Illness, Mental health issues and a little bit of fluff

Y/N POV

Nick was out in vegas, going to the fight night. I was alone at his home in Lodi, watching the fights in my pyjamas in his bed, cuddling with his pillow as I was missing him. He was away for 3 weeks now and I hated it when he’s gone, leaving me alone for I don’t for how long. He always does this…

The fights were over and I texted him, that I hope he had a great night out and that I love him. After that I set myself alarm for in the morning and lay my phone away, trying to get some sleep.

Nick POV

The fight was over and I saw a text message from my girl. I smiled at it and sent her a heart emoji. “Who are you texting too?” Steve asks me as we both left the place. “My girl.” “Your girl huh?” I nodded and tucked my hands in my jacket. “I never met her, how’s she like?” I shrugged and laughed. “She’s uhh…great, understands my situation and shit.” He nods, trying to understand what I was saying. “She knows you’re here?” “Of course she does, she asks sometimes too many questions…” I sighed softly. “Maybe she does that because she cares?” “Maybe.”

I sat down at the bar with Steve, drinking some beer, watching some people dancing and chatting around. “Do you ever miss her, when you away for long?” He asks as I was looking in front of me, at a group of women who were dancing and laughing around. “Sometimes.” I answered and I saw him in the corner of my eyes nodding at my answer. “I bet she misses you too Nick.” ‘Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t.’ I nodded and took a sip from my beer, my eyes never leaving those women.

I woke up in my hotel bed with a massive headache and a sore neck. “Fuck…” I rubbed my eyes and slowly turned over to reach for my phone. It’s 10 am and I have 2 texts from my girl. I smiled and opened them.

My love ❤️: good morning ❤️

My love ❤️: I miss you 🙈

Me: good morning beautiful ❤️

I ignored the I miss you text, of course I miss you so why would I text it back to you. I lay my phone down and got up, to get myself ready for breakfast with Steve.

Steve and I were sitting in the back of the restaurant, having some breakfast. “How did you sleep, good or?” I shook my head and rubbed my neck. “No, sore neck.” He smiles and points at himself. “Me too, woke up with back pain and a sore neck, we are getting old.” I laughed a bit and shook my head. “It’s since I had that surgery, it’s better now than it was before but it still needs to heal properly.” He nods as I was rambling about myself. “It’s for the better days right?” I nodded and drank my tea.

Y/N POV

I was renovating Nicks house today with my dad and my brother. “Watch out will ya.” My dad says to me as my brother, pulls the rotten wood from the ceiling. “That’s a big chunk.” My brother says as he throws it in the container. “Good pull.” I complemented him. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture and send it to Nick, telling him that we are now busy with his kitchen. He knows about this, I asked him to renovate his old house in Lodi and he said sure. He wants to go back to Lodi but ever since he tasted that luxury and secured life in Vegas…he has some troubles to live here. So I thought what if I renovate the place and make it more secured for him. “Y/n care to help?” My dad asks me as he hands me over a the big hammer. “Just smash everything up in pieces.” My face lits up and I walked over to the kitchen. “Everything?” “Everything.”

I was tired after a whole day of smashing things and throwing them away in the container. My legs and arms hurt as I was laying in the bathtub, trying to relax as tomorrow was another day of renovating the kitchen. “If he doesn’t appreciate this then we have a big problem…” I moved over to the edge and grabbed my phone, looking is he already texted me back about that picture from this morning. Nothing, he didn’t even read it.

Me: my muscles hurt… but my dad said the kitchen will be finished by next week.

Me: I hope everything is going good with Steve?

Me: I love you ❤️

These moments with Nick are difficult, him being so distant from me and I don’t want him to think I’m annoying him or ignoring him, it can go both ways. I always tell him I love you and I always text him 3 times a day, just making sure that he knows I think of him. I sighed and got slowly out of the bathtub, drying myself off and pulled his sweater over my head, his smell filled my nostrils and I immediately felt save but also a bit sad. ‘I miss him…’

—— 2 weeks later ——

The kitchen was completely done and we started to renovate his garage. “Watch out!” My brother yells as a wooden plank falls down. “What the fuck!” My dad yells and shot him angry glare. “It slipped out of my hands, I’m sorry.” He says as he stands on the ladder. I picked up the wooden plank and walked away with it to throw it away in the container. I lifted over my head and thrown it in. As I walked back from the backyard back to the front I saw Nick, standing with my dad. Looking at the garage. I immediately smiled and walked over. “Hi.” I said happily and he turns around to look at me. “Hey baby.” He says and I gave him a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming today.” “Surprise.” He says, I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, he moved a bit away as my lips touched his cheek. ‘Weird.’ He lets me go, turning back to my father. “It looks good.” He says and I felt a bit neglected but I shoved that feeling away, trying not to make him upset with me. I walked over to my brother who saw what happened. “You guys okay?” He whispers. I nodded and put on a fake smile. “He’s probably tired.” My brother slowly nods but didn’t believe me. “Okay if you say so.”

My dad and my brother went home and I was lying on the sofa, feeling sore from all the heavy lifting. “How was it with Steve?” I asks him, he was watching the tv. “Good.” He answers without looking over at me. “I’m glad you had a good time.” I stood up, already knowing what conversation this was going to be, a one sided one. “I’m going upstairs, you know where I am when you need me.” I said and as he didn’t react I walked away, feeling like a fool.

I softly cried in bed and thought about our relationship. ‘I’m always the person who starts the conversation….he never asks me questions or anything.’ I wiped my eyes as tears still fell down my cheeks. ‘Ugh why am I even crying over this.’ I turned around to lay on my side, my back facing the door. ‘I’m way too good for him…’ I heard the door open and I froze, faking that I was already asleep. I heard him shuffling around our room and eventually he climbs into the bed and makes his way over to me, cuddling me. I stayed quiet, not ready for a fight about why I’m crying. “I love you.” He whispers and kissed my shoulder. ‘Don’t give in, don’t do it.’ His fingers traveled over my arm and my hip till he fell asleep. I stayed awake for about an hour, thinking about us as tears started to fall again.

Nick pov

I woke up and saw she was still sleeping in my arms, her face pressed against my chest. ‘She’s been crying…’ her skin around her eyes were red and some tears dried up, her lips were red and puffy as she’s been biting on her lips. ‘Why did she cried last night?’ I softly ran my fingers over her cheeks, carefully scraping the dried up tears off her skin. She slightly moves and whines softly as I wiped her hair out from her face. “Sorry baby.” I whispered at her, she nuzzles her head against my chest and slowly opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Nick.” She tiredly says. “Yeah I’m here.” She smiles and hugs me. “I’m happy you’re back.” ‘Me too baby.’ I rubbed her back and stayed quiet, just enjoying the quietness as my mind was racing around about everything.

She was in the kitchen making some breakfast as I was in the garage, looking at the work they’ve done the last couple of days. ‘She’s doing too much….I don’t deserve this…’ “Nick? Your food is ready.” She calls me and I snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah…I’m coming.” I took a few deep breaths and walked back to the kitchen. She looks so beautiful in my hoodie, so cute. “Here you go.” She hands me my plate and I took it from her. “Thanks.��� I sat down and watched her moving around the kitchen. ‘She’s way too good for me.’ I stared at her and I slowly drifted away from reality as my dark thoughts were filling up my mind.

“Nick?” I snapped out of my trance and looked at her. She looked a bit worried and slightly smiled at me. “You didn’t listen, didn’t you?” ‘Sorry.’ I stayed quiet as the darkness was slowly disappearing from my mind and she slightly sighs. “It’s okay, it wasn’t important.” ‘No tell me…’ she sadly smiles at me and walks off, leaving me alone. ‘Fuck! She’s upset now.’ I quickly stood up and followed her. “Don’t be like this.” I said to her, she looks hurt and tired. “Like what? That I show interest in you? That I actually care….do you even care about me?” ‘Of course!’ “Don’t play the fucking victim, you always do this.” I was getting frustrated as my two worlds in my mind start to collide. “I’m not a……okay, sorry I make you feel like this Nick. It’s me isn’t it, it’s me who makes you behave like this.” Her eyes swelled up and she looks at her hands, playing with her engagement ring. “If it’s really me then maybe it’s better for us to….” Her voice broke and I immediately knew what she wanted to say. ‘No don’t you fucking dare!’ She shook her head. “I love you Nick but I don’t want a one side relationship…” “you’re breaking up with me?” I immediately asks. She stayed quiet and I lost my temper.

Y/N POV

I was heartbroken and I didn’t want to do this but he clearly doesn’t care till now. As he swears and yells things I don’t even understand. “No, no you won’t do this to us y/n, I do so much for you and you do this?!” He raises his hands and I flinched, not thinking he would hit me but more of the emotions that were exploding through my body. He became quiet and looked at me, his eyes slowly filled with tears and his lip started to tremble. He aggressively rubbed his eyes and let out a small sob. “I’m sorry….I-I don’t want you to leave me…” I said nothing and walked over to him, he looks so broken and scared. “I don’t want to leave either.” I whispered to him as I wrapped my arms around him, he immediately buried his face in my shoulder. “I’m so sorry baby, I’m…” I shook my head . “you don’t need to apologise, I know.” I started to cry as well and held him tightly, afraid he would disappear if I didn’t. We both cried in each other’s arms and he carefully walked us carefully over to the sofa, pulling me on top of him as I hugged him tightly.

We both stopped with crying and I went with my hand through his hair, admiring him. His large hands caressed my back as he was looking at me. “I’m not okay…” he says with a hoarse voice. I sadly smiled at him. “We will get through this together.” He nods and moves his hands to my face, rubbing my cheeks softly. “I’m an idiot for making you cry….you are so beautiful baby.” He pulls me closer and places a soft loving kiss on my lips. “You’re mine idiot.” I joked and kissed him back. I felt him smiling against my lips. “I’m happy to be your idiot.” He jokes back and I pecked his cheek. “I love you Nick.” He smiles lovingly and rubs my cheeks again. “I love you so much baby.” We both stayed cuddled each other for the rest of the day, making it up to each other.

[unusualfanbase]

Hi pookies 😊 I'm back i got my first follower so in celebration I will show the rest of what I have for chapter 1. Enjoy 🥰

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️: Talks about incapable of having kids, violence,blood, foul language!

Summary: y/n meeting the hargreeves for the second time in her life. Your mother gave you away to a friend instead of Reginald Hargreeves. Your adoptive mother forced you to the funeral. Thats when you met him...

You were born on October 1st, 1989. 43 women gave birth to children around the world the only thing odd about this was the women weren't pregnant when the day had started. You are like the other children, you were born with powers. Except for the fact you have to powers. Venom is an inky black entity a result from your powers he can take over your body at any time (he likes to scare you time from time). Your second ability is mind reading pretty basic for the fact you can go deep into memories and remember them as if you had just teleported there but you didn't do it often ever since an incident where you heard disgusting things it was horrible.

When born a man named Reginald Hargreeves tried to buy you from your mother. She had never trusted him so she gave you to friend that was incapable of having kids. She was an amazing mother you loved her like she loved you. Though she was still an acquaintance of Reginald Hargreeves just in case. You had met the other children once when you were 13 years old.

It was when you were a single adult coming back from a photo shoot (ptssssss your a model) you were walking down a street when you had saw it. A news report of a essentric billionaire that had died it had shown a picture of the man that had tried to buy you as a kid. You felt slightly bad for the children not knowing how they would react. You got a call from your mother. Venom popped up confused and wanting to hear the drama. "Hey honey" an elderly woman peeped. "Hey mom whats up?" You asked not knowing what she might say next knowing she was unpredictable. " you heard the news right? Reginald Hargreeves has passed away so I want you to go to the funeral for me since I don't have time" you slightly gasped at her sentence . She was retired and you knew her hidden motive. " also maybe you can find someone I could care less if it is a boy or a girl or other just find someone before you die alone" you sighed. "Mom your single." She scoffed "okay and? I've had five husband's and ive got money i had my love life now ill send you the address the funeral is tomorrow have fun!" You tried to protest but she hung up before you could. "*sigh*" venom was cackling. "What are you laughing at?" Venom stopped "th-he old lady told you! HAHAHHA- you are going to die alone 🤣 ". The next day you took off you disided to wear a black t-shirt, black jeans and black boots. You did tiny bit of makeup then you walked out and got into your car. Venom that was coming out if your shoulder wanted to cause havoc knowing you didn't have your morning coffee. He rambled the wholleee way. " thats what I would have done if I was harry potter. Any way we are here get out and hurry up so the old lady can calm down about you being single!!" You wanted to slap him so bad but he was right. You got out and he continued. You walked inside the luxury home in awe. You saw the hargreeves in the common room not wanting them to hear venom talking about how stupid single you are you yelled. " VENOM shut up already for goodness sake!!" You looked at the shocked siblings "been awhile nice to see yall" you said calmly after words Luther the biggest guy was quivering and pointing to venom. " Uh-hm you've got something on your shoulder.." you nodded venom interrupted you before you could speak

"And that something is powerful enough to rip you to shreds so NEVER say that again!" You laugh a little at venom taking offense to a simple sentence " thats venom he is a result of one of my abilities."you stated matter-of-factly. Vanya the smallest one looked at you in confusion " one of your abilities?" You nod and take a seat next to Klaus the druggie and you could smell the alcohol from him. " My second ability is mind reading pretty simple." You look at the siblings and shrug of their stares. " ima get a cup of coffee so yall can continue." You headed down stairs rumiging trying to find coffee. " ugh what luxurious house doesn't have coffee?!" You can hear venom little girl giggles until they got cut of by a loud rumbling sound from outside you sprinted outside to meet your eyes with a huge blue portex from what you could tell.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!" You tried to yell over the rumbling Luther answered quickly "LOOKS LIKE A SPACE ANOMLY!!" Diego gave you a second option " OR A REALLY SMALL BLACK HOLE!" Klaus threw a fire extinguisher in it " WHAT THE HELL WOULD THAT DO?!" you yelled at Klaus he shrugged.Luther yelled " GET BEHIND ME" Then Diego did. " YEAH GET BEHIND US". You could make out a 13 year old boys face going through the anomaly. TUMP!!

The boy dusted him self off. Klaus looked around then looked back at the boy. "Am I the only one seeing little ol five?" He asked confused. Then the little boy looked at you in a daze. "Who are you??"

Hope you enjoyed it be on the look out for chapter 2! Be safe drink water and have a good day 🥰❤❤❤

[matan4il]

Good morning Alice!! This might sound a bit of a ramble and long-winded, so I apologize. It's mostly that I wanted to express to some of the anons on here who asked questions how important it is as non Jewish friends we stand in front of the Jewish people to fight this antisemitism. I don't in any way mean that as condescending, but just truthfully. I also can only express my POV as an American non Jew.

But maybe I'm shaped because my ex mentor, now boss but dearest of friends, starts our morning call every day crying. She used to be able to go to Israel for her family multiple times a year. Her father passed away last year, her mother is ill, and her brothers are all there. She can't get in any more. More than that, her children are here facing a different kind of threat on college campuses. It's a nightmare. I don't speak to anyone who hasn't been directly affected or doesn't feel under threat every day. And that honestly should show you how small the Jewish population really is. That's why it's important to be loud about your support to take the burden away.

Honestly, be prepared to lose some people or say unpopular truths. If you have SM, you have to share the stories because people in the media aren't covering shit. I was blasting the story about Paul hours after it happened, and I still only see milk toast headlines from outlets that will mention it.

Also, you're probably going to be called heinous names. Trust me, you just learn to roll your eyes being called a Nazi because you criticize the squad who actually calls for the genocide of the Jewish people. The upside down world is real these days!!!

Also, there really is an answer for every argument the pro Hamas side has. If you feel like you want to be prepared, just ask Alice!! But trust me, there is always an answer!!

Just remember, we actually know what happens to the Jewish people when we don't stand for them. And the lesson wasn't that long ago. Don't let weaponization of words like racist, collective punishment, moral equivalency intimate you.

The truth is all this could end tomorrow if Hamas let the hostages go and surrendered. But they hide under children as human shields, pull out the video of the leaders saying this if someone doesn't believe you. They steal the humanitarian aid. Their leaders don't even live there. They live like literal Kings in another country.

As always, stay safe, Alice!! Have you been able to get your treatments? Have you been able to go back to the museum at all? From my understanding, almost everything is shut down because all the reservists are getting called? I hope one day we can go back to "normal" but I fear there will only be a new normal now. ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️

My love! *hugs* You're brilliant, you know that?

I'm just gonna leave your ask up here as is, because I have nothing to add to it. <333

As for the personal stuff, thank you for asking! I am getting my treatments, I'm going to the hospital on Sunday. I'm currently suffering from a bad reaction, and I hope they have something that can be done about it. As for the museum, we do have a lot of workers who have been called in! There are basically no groups to guide, but there's still a lot of work to be done (research, for example), so a lot of people who normally guide tours are helping with some of the other stuff. Yeah, for now, it's def a weird "new normal" of trying to function with a missing limb and phantom pains...

Thank you so much for your words! I'm sending you endless love and hugs, as well as to your ex mentor and dear friend! May we all know better days soon. xoxoxox

[cheerfullycatholic]

Hey, apologies in advance for the ramblings but I really need someone to talk to about this anonymously 😅 so basically idk if I’m crazy or should genuinely feel ridiculous or like a loser??? But I’m currently living in Europe and one of my good friends is getting married in a few months and is out in the states. I’m supposed to be going out there for the wedding but I honestly think it’s been making me sick with stress. See, I am on the spectrum and I like to be able to do what I want and get away from people when I need to but there’s like an entire set of plans with more of her friends and of course extended family who I have never even talked to before and it’s not that I think they’ll be horrible but it’s a long time to be somewhere new and ofc she is going to be busy prepping for the wedding itself and I thought I’d be able to do things alone but I found out where she’s currently living is actually quite far from anything and I might have to rely on her other family to get me places. On one hand, I feel so dumb because it seems like such a great opportunity to also visit this place but on the other hand, it really is so much to not be guaranteed alone time and knowing she won’t be there all the time idk I’ve just been really sick to the point of passing out lately and this is the only thing I can think of that has caused such an increase in stress and I feel kind of pathetic for it? In any case, if you have any words of wisdom, advice etc I’d appreciate it and please prayers 🥺

Dude I totally get you, and it's not ridiculous or pathetic. I don't know if I'm on the spectrum but I deal with the same things all the time, and they just make my chronic illness worse. My nephew's birthday party and my step uncle's wedding are both tomorrow and I was having a rough time health wise just with the party but the wedding was hastily planned two weeks ago which was not enough time to mentally prepare for, and my nephew's party is in a place I've never been to before mostly with people I either don't like or don't know and I've been dying, man. And I can't drive so I can't just leave, ya know? Not unless someone takes me home and I can't expect anyone to do that. But at least these events are all in my general area, I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be in a different country! I will definitely keep you in my prayers

Firstly, since it's making you sick, you do not have to go or do all the things she wants you to. She's your friend, she should understand that your health just won't permit it and going could make it worse. It's okay to take care of yourself. But if you decide to go, what are some things that help you calm down and deal? For me it's listening to show tunes. I bought these open ear bluetooth earbuds (link goes to Amazon) specifically so I can listen to Hamilton at the events tomorrow without anyone knowing because I can hide them behind my hair, and since they're open ear I can both hear the music and the people around me both just fine and they don't hurt after awhile like normal earbuds do. I wouldn't be going to either events if I hadn't gotten these. You mentioned alone time, maybe tell your friend about your struggles and that you sometimes need time to relax and breathe by yourself and maybe she could figure out a place where you could rest. If you go, do what you gotta do, make gathering all of the stuff you can to help yourself a fun thing

[ladyvelvette]

Ramble!!

OKAY- So I'm writing a Vox x Reader request I got, should come out later today or tomorrow depending on when I wanna finish it, however, I've gotten into more fandoms!!! (Or just wanna write for existing fandoms.)

I recently got back into my ride the cyclone phase and honestly I forgot how much I LOVE noel, So I scanned the internet for fanfics of him, AND I CANT FIND ANY?!??!

I wanna write for him and maybe find someone who writes for him frequently jvdjvdbidbid

ANYWAYS MORE RAMBLE ABOUT NOEL FT. JANE!!!!

Noels lament should be a ballad and Jane's Ballad should be a lament, Based on definition, A ballad is used as an "I want" song And a Lament is used as a way to voice your pain and sorrow. While yes, Noel was experiencing pain, He wasn't exactly saying he was sad by it In fact he *wanted* to be it, Jane didn't want anything besides to be found, however, the song is about her pain and sorrow about dying basically a nobody.

However, I do suppose the title "Noel's lament" could be some form of contradictory factor, Like how he is a gay man, however, pictured himself a woman and a hooker. It could represent the fact that even though he enjoyed the life he thought out, it was still causing him pain and sorrow, therefore could be a lament emotionally and physically, just not mentally. The same thing could happen with Jane's song, She is experiencing pain and sorrow and singing about it, yet she still *wants* something meaningful, Like being known or at least identified, especially since she wasn't at all identified or even searched for. Even her own choir mates didn't know her, she wanted to be somebody to someone.

Jane just had the mentality of "woe is me" (not tryna hate on her, however, she just seemed to be focus on the fact she couldn't remember anything, why, yes, that is her character, I wish she would have developed her own personality over the course of the musical.)

Also, the fact they took away Ricky's crutches kinda just seemed useless(like let him be disabled) tho I understand the reason they unmuted him(he wouldn't have been able to plea his case YK)

Anyways I'm a musical nerd.

PLEASE BEG ME TO RANT ABOUT ANY OTHER MUSICAL ILL WATCH IT(IF I HAVENT ALREADY) AND RANT ABOUT IT 😭😭😭

[xxlynxxx]

Could’ve been Levi Ackerman x Black reader part 2.

A/N: For the sake of this story lets pretend Levi is 5′10 lol. Also smuttttt warning ;)

Levi

“Did you hear me son?” My moms voice brought me out of my thoughts that seemed to be reiterating itself. “Yeah, you’re gonna come stay in a couple weeks. got it.” I said setting the phone up so she could see me as I stirred the pasta on the stove. 

“Son,  I worry about you sometimes and you know if my sickness takes a turn i just don’t wa-”

“Mom, stop talking like that. It wont come back and i’m fine. Now tell me about your vacation.” that seemed to ease her because she started rambling on about what she did on the vacation i just sent her and my aunts on. 

My mother had lupus and some days were worse than others. The medication and lifestyle the doctor had her on seemed to be working so far, she just worried too much about getting real ill again or leaving me and my little sister Isabel behind. “Anyways, enough about that. Hows the family? You know i miss my grandson. I havent seen him in awhile, i just cant wait to see you guys. Make sure your sister is actually coming this time. You know how that girl can be with all her partying and drinking ugh she worries me that she will never settle down.” I rolled my eyes as she began to ramble on again. Erwin walked into the kitchen and mouthed ‘your mom?’ before i nodded and he backed out of the kitchen. ‘Thank God.’ My mom had a weird crush on Erwin and if she saw him i would be on the phone all night. 

“Hey mom, i gotta go. Im gonna burn the food if i dont pay attention. I will make sure Isabel is there. Alright?”

“Okay, call me tomorrow Levi. I mean it! I love you my handsome boy, i cant wait to see you!” i quickly said my goodbyes before hanging up. 

“Dinner almost ready my handsome boy?” Erwin joked returning to the kitchen, setting plates on our dining room table. 

“Fuck off.” I rolled my eyes and took the pot off the stove taking it to the dinner table.

“So, you don’t seem so sick to me, why did you leave early today?” Erwin asked cutting off a piece of garlic bread. I shrugged. “Petra is trying to get me to move back in. Then my mom text saying she's gonna come visit so of of course she cant know that i live with you and not at home.” 

Erwin nods. “So you're stressed because now you have to act like the perfect family while your mom stays?” “yeah” I sigh starting to lose my appetite just by talking about what awaits me back home. 

“You are your moms pride and joy, i don't get why you just don't say ‘hey mom, Petra and i are separated and on our way to a divorce and by the your grandson? Yeah he’s not really mine.’ See? that’s so easy.” I roll my eyes again at Erwin. Which feels like a pretty reoccurring action. 

“Maybe its easy for you since you tell your mommy everything.” Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “I just don't wanna stress her out, she's been through a lot this year. Plus, she's already stressed over Isabel. Just don't wanna add to it. Let alone think about Petra”

“I understand. There is something I wanted to ask you.” He says and i cock my eyebrow at him. “Now, don’t jump down my throat. I couldn't help but to notice you taking her out to lunch often. Which isn't typically Levi behavior to be so... dare i say doting?” I almost choked on my water. ‘Fuck... am i being obvious?’

“And, if you're thinking ‘damn, am i obvious?’ yes..yes you are. At least to me.” 

“Erwin i-” 

“BUT” He cuts me off wagging his finger at me with his dramatic self. “I noticed today you ignored the poor woman this morning, and then later at lunch when i let her know you wouldn't be back today she looked for a split moment like i had just shot and mutilated her dog right in front of her.”

“Okay that's a little much.” I say picking up my plate to take it to the kitchen. Erwin following behind me “So I ask my dear handsome boy. What's going on?”

I lean against the counter glaring at him, hopefully to make him uncomfortable enough that he will  fuck off. It doesn't work he just stares back smiling annoyingly wide. “and don't lie because, for a lawyer you're not good at lying when it comes to yourself.” 

“Nothings going on, I find her attractive but she works for me. So I'll just look and not touch.” Erwin slowly nods.

“Yeah so how long do you think you can keep that up for? Im all for you finding happiness especially after your divorce is final from the wicked witch of the east, but then again you do have a point. “ 

“Yeah, i think ill just die an old lonely man.” I say turning my back to him putting the leftovers in the fridge. 

“Wrong, because tonight we are gonna go out and drink like we are 21 again and maybe even meet some ladies.” He says doing a little dance. 

“I'm so good on that actually. Besides i have go to the office in the morning and finish up on the paperwork i didnt do today.” 

“Thats so funny that you think you have a choice.” He laughs obnoxiously all the way to his room. I sigh going to mine to get ready.

2 shots in and I'm kind of enjoying my time out. Erwin invites two woman to our table after buying them drinks. One of them keeps rubbing her leg up and down mine under the table. It makes me think of the other day when Ivy did it. If this was her sitting next to me doing it, i would be much more receptive. I excuse myself from the table once i feel her hand land on my thigh. “I'm gonna get a beer.” I state out loud mainly to Erwin. “I can come wi-” The one whos been touching me for the last 20 minutes responds but I'm already walking away from the table. Luckily she stays put. 

Deciding to drink my beer at the bar i pull out my phone and open up Instagram. Hange convinced me to create one a couple months ago but I didn't post any pictures. To keep from looking like a “spam account” as Hange put it, I just put a profile picture and my name. I had no use for this app until after meeting Ivy. I found her through Connie's followers. I mentally thanked Connie for making me follow him.

Fortunately her page isn't private, i felt like a creep for how many times i searched her account just to stalk her page and check if she posted any new pictures. I noticed that her profile picture had a pinkish/orange ring around it. ‘Thats interesting’ I clicked to see what would happen and saw she was out. She posted a video of a blonde girl taking a shot, the next video was of them clinking glasses, after was the last post she put. It was a selfie of her in a bar, the lights in the background looked familiar, I turned around and noticed the lights near the bathroom looked just like the ones in her picture. ‘Is she here?’ I looked back n forth between her photo and the lights behind me. 

“You good man?” Erwin came up behind me grabbing my shoulder. 

“Yeah, i just started talking to the bartender and lost track.” I Lied which he caught on to.

“They’re leaving, and they invited us back to their place. I have no problem telling them no if you're not into it.” 

“I’m definitely not into it. But you should go, have fun i dont mind.” 

“No, i was hoping you would say no, im not feeling it either. I'm just gonna walk them out to their uber and ill be back.” Erwin, always the gentleman. I made my way back to our table. Keeping a look out for Ivy. I was certain she had to still be here. The photo was posted 10 minutes ago. 

Just as i suspected she walked from the bathroom area with a blonde holding her hand leading her to a table on the other side of the room. She sat with her back away from me. She couldn't see me but i had my eyes on her. I noticed the other men watching her as she walked to her table. You had to be blind not to think this woman was beautiful. Her beautiful sandy brown skin always seemed to be glowing. She had the biggest brown eyes. Every emotion she had shown in them, her hair was a beautiful shade of auburn. Tonight her beautiful tight coils were out and free. She never wore her hair down at work. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my finger around a curl. Or maybe get a handful of it as she-

“What are you looking at?” Erwin pulled me out of my thoughts before they turned lewd. “Did you wanna go to a different bar?”

“No, lets stay.” I said a little to eager

“Okay, someone caught your eye?” Erwin sat next to me looking in the direction i had been. 

“Don't be obvious, but that's Ivy.” I said turning my back to the table she sat at. Erwin smiled and waved in that direction, catching the eye of Ivy’s friend. 

“What? that's great! I’m gonna invite them over. Go to the bar and order whatever they’re drinking.” He said getting up

“Erwin wait!″ I tried to grab for him but he was already halfway across the room.

Ivy

“Quick! How do my tits look?” I gave Hitch a thumbs and tried to keep from looking behind her at Levi. I noticed he tried to grab Erwin's arm when he was coming over here. ‘damn, he really must be trying to avoid me.’

"Hello Ivy. I thought that was you, small world.” Erwin smiled down at me.

“Hello, Mr. Smith. its nice to see you again.” I don't know why i tried to sound so formal. I immediately sobered up. 

“Ah come on Ivy, we’re out of the office. Please call me Erwin.” I nodded “And whos your lovely friend?” He asked taking Hitch’s hand kissing the back of it, which she ate right up. If there wasn't so many people in this room she would've pounced right on him by the look she was giving. 

“Hitch, but you can call me baby.” She winked at him. I rolled my eyes but, Erwin seemed find it amusing. He gave a big laugh and kissed the back of her hand again. 

“Well would you ladies like to accompany Levi and I tonight? we’ve got a section over there, its too much room for just us.” 

“Yes! “ Hitch answered before i could. She was already up and following Erwin forgetting her purse. I grabbed our things and slowly made my way over. Levi was at the bar and made his way back to the table at the same time i did. Setting down a drink for Hitch and I. She happily thanked him while I avoided eye contact and gave a quiet ‘thanks’.

“Of course.” He said taking his seat across from Hitch and Erwin leaving a spot in the booth for me right next to him. 

 Hitch giggled across from me as Erwin whispered something in her ear. I could feel Levi burning a whole in the side of my face so i pulled my phone out scrolling through Instagram. Luckily for my privacy screen he couldn't see what i was looking at if he decided to lean closer to peep. I liked a couple photos before going to my insta story to look at who viewed it. ‘Levi.Ackerman87′ viewed my story. My stomach felt like it had a whole cage of butterflies in it. Checking my following i didnt see his name on there. I glanced over at him, he was making small talk with Hitch and Erwin. Putting my phone back into my purse, I stood up. “I’m gonna use the bathroom, ill be back.” 

“Oh do you want me to go with you?” Hitch asked.

“No, I'm okay. Ill be quick.” I said before heading to the back towards the restroom. This bathroom was one of those fancy clean types that had a person inside waiting with mints and rolled up towels, luckily the person who was supposed to be in here left out as i entered. I drenched a towel in the cold water and placed it on the back off my neck to cool myself off. I took my phone out again just to double check what i saw. ‘Yup, Levi.Ackerman87′ Clicking on his profile he had no pictures, just as i expected. But his profile picture was definitely him. I held my phone close to my face to get a better view. He wasn't smiling, but a long haired seal point cat laid across his shoulder ,with its tail covering a side of his face. ‘ugh, why is he so cute with zero effort.’ If someone were to walk in i would look pretty dumb. My phone so close to my face while i smiled and giggled like an idiot to myself. I washed my hands and walked out the bathroom heading back to the table. I slowed my pace when i noticed that Levi was at the table by himself.

“Uhm, they went to get more drinks.” He said as i took my seat looking over at the bar. Hitch had her arms leaned on the countertop as Erwin stood smiling down at her. His hand placed on her hip as she giggled at something he said ‘mans cant be that funny.’ i thought. “How are you?” Levi asked bringing my attention from the view at the bar to the beautiful raven haired man sitting inches away from me. 

“I’m quite fine. How are you? I heard you were sick. Remind me to get your doctors info, he must work miracles.” I was proud of myself until i saw the slight frown on his face that he immediately replaced with his normal stoic look. 

“Yeah, i think it was just a bad migraine...needed a break.” i nodded.

“You’re right, i’m sorry. I dont think i’ve ever heard of you missing a day of work.” Embarrassed with my unusual behavior i turned my gaze to watch the other occupants around us. Levi was silent next to me, but i could feel him looking at me and then down at his hands and then back to my face.  

“I cant stop thinking about you.” He said in a faster pace than he usually talked. My heart quickened.

“What?” I said now giving him my full attention.

“I know its not ethical of me, but i cant get you out of my mind. I'm actually dreading Hange coming back because I'm not ready to let you go.” He opened his mouth like he had more to say but Hitch and Erwin's laughter killed whatever tension was in the air as they took their seats. 

 The rest of the night Levi seemed to have relaxed after his confession. That made one of us because now i was more nervous than before. I couldn't believe he would so confidently say something like that. I was used to men beating around the bush with me. Levi kept scooting closer to me throughout the night until his hand was the only thing from keeping our thighs touching. Hitch and I started our own conversation as Levi and Erwin started talking about work related things. Levi finished off his glass of whiskey as his pinky rubbed against my thigh which at first i thought was an accident until it started moving gently up and down. I tried to keep my face from showing any emotion as i listened to Hitch’s story about her class of 10th graders. I guess he took that as me enjoying it, which he wasn't wrong. His hand found its way to my thigh and he gave it a light squeeze. My face didn't react but my body sure was. My thighs squeezed together as the heat between my legs grew more intense. To make matters worse he pushed my legs apart with one hand and rubbed circles on my inner thigh. Now, I'm not tiny girl. I have curves, this mans whole hand was squeezing my full thigh like it was nothing. 

 A couple drinks later and we were heading out the doors. “Ivy, I'm gonna go home with Erwin, I would say take Levi to our place but,he doesn't seem like your type.” She giggled. Hitch wasn't wrong. Normally i would never go for guys like Levi. My typed seemed to be broken man-child’s who could never fully commit. Levi was the first older and very mature guy I'd ever had feelings for. 

“I can drive you home.” Levi said as Hitch waved from inside the uber with Erwin.

“ Are you ok to drive?” I asked following him to his car. He threw a glance at me over his shoulder as if to say ‘really bitch?’ 

“I had 4 drinks Ivy. I could probably do a backflip right now.” He said opening the passenger door for me. “Besides, i wouldn't put you in any harm.” He said looking at me as he slid into his seat. It’s not like i was drunk out of my mind. I mean i paced myself like i always do and had water in between my drinks. I just still couldnt believe that the Levi everyone tried to stay clear of and stay on his good side was talking to me like this. Besides earlier today, he had never made me feel like i was a bother. 

 Levi reached over taking me out of my thoughts ‘oh my god he’s gonna kiss me.’ I prepared myself for our first kiss, but he leaned past me and grabbed my seatbelt clicking it. “Safety first.” He smirked at me before clicking his own seatbelt and starting the car. 

Per usual Levi gave me the aux. I typed my address into his maps and, put on Lullaby by Umi and looked out the window. New York was beautiful at night. Especially this time of year when everything was decorated for Christmas. “ I meant what i said earlier.” Levi said making you look at him. God, he was fine. I studied his face, he was still looking at the road and glanced at me real quick. Tightening his grip on the wheel. “I feel like im going crazy.” He chuckled. “I’m actually losing sleep over it, you should feel bad for me.” He smiled and i laughed. 

Levi parked outside my building. I felt stupid for not telling him that i felt the same. I was losing sleep over him too. “Do you want some tea before you go home? If we’re lucky you might kill enough time to miss Erwin and Hitch.” I laughed trying to cut through the thick air in the car that appeared after his second confession. 

“Yeah i’d like that.” He said turning off the car and hopping out to come open my door before i did. He followed me up to my apartment on the second floor. “ I hope you're not allergic to dogs.” I turned to him, my back pressed against my door. 

“Allergic? no. Wary? Most definitely.” I nodded and held a finger up at him. 

“Wait here and when you hear me, come in.” He nodded as I slipped inside the door. My doberman Arlo already waiting at the door to either greet or snap at who came in. “Okay, you can come in.” I said grabbing my pup’s collar. Levi looked right and left before coming in and his eyes widened as he looked at Arlo by my side. “Come, let him smell you so he knows you’re not a threat.”

“I’m not sure i wanna do that.” Levi awkwardly laughed. 

I rolled my eyes smiling at him “ Now don’t tell me you’re scared of my little baby.”

“Tch, i wouldn’t consider him little.” Levi scoffed. “If he’s harmless than why are you holding him back?”

“Because he can smell your fear and that’s what gets him going.” I laughed at my little joke but Levi didn’t find it funny as he glared at me which only made me laugh harder. “No, i just wanted you to feel safe. See I'm in control, He listens to me.” I said letting go of Arlo’s collar telling him to stay and he did just as i said. I reached my hand out to Levi and he cautiously grabbed it. I pulled him over to us and stood us in front of Arlo. Holding Levi’s wrist in my hands as he slightly stood behind me i let Arlo sniff him. He sniffed his hand a couple times and then started to lick it. “ See! he accepts you.” I smiled at Levi, leaning down and rubbing Arlo behind his ears “such a good boy!” I praised. Levi held his hand a little away from him because it was covered in slobber. 

“Come here, you can wash your hands in the kitchen while I start the tea.” I said leading him to the kitchen sink. 

“Your apartment is very clean.” Levi said watching me take off my shoes and slip on my slippers. He took his shoes off as well and i placed them on the shoe rack near the front door. That’s something i noticed Levi and i had in common. I kept my house tidy, or at least tried to. Hitch was kind of unorganized but we managed.  

“Thank you i try. My mom would give me an ear full if my place was dirty. Growing up she instilled cleanliness in us so now i cant help but to continue the tradition.” I said placing a coaster down and putting his tea in front of him. Sitting down across from him with my own mug of peach and ginger sweetness. 

“My mom is the same way, she used to clean houses when I was a kid and would sometimes take me on big jobs with her. Its like a hobby now.” He smiled like he enjoyed a memory in his mind.

 “I didn’t know your mom used to clean homes?” Not judging but i and many people at the company assumed Levi grew up a rich kid the same way Erwin did. “I don't talk about it. I’m pretty sure none of my colleagues grew up they way i did.” He trusted me enough to let me in on that detail about his life. My heart swelled.

“Talk to me about you.” He said leaning back in his seat.

“Ugh, i hate that question. I never know what to say.” I groaned dramatically, rubbing my scalp.

“Fine lets do a game. I ask a question and then you can ask me one in return. Nothing is off limits.” I could get down with that. 

“Well ask me something specific.” He rubbed his chin thinking. 

“What’s your middle name?” Okay he’s starting off tame. 

“Rose. What’s yours?” Great question Ivy. Even though i really wanted to ask what color his di-

“Tal. How old are you?” What a beautiful name.

“That's beautiful, does it mean something? and I'm 26.” He nodded taking another sip of tea.

“ It’s Hebrew for rain dew. That’s a relief because you look like you could be 20.” He said smirking.

“I always get told that, i guess i should consider it a compliment. Do you speak Hebrew?” Now I'm gonna imagine him giving me commands in two different languages. ‘God, why is my mind always in the gutter when he’s around?’

“Its a compliment. You’ll appreciate it more when you get older, and I speak enough. I’m surprised you didn't ask me how old i am.”

“That’s because I already know your age Levi dot Ackerman 87.” I smirk at him trying to look unfazed.

“Are you stalking me?” He asked finishing off his tea and placing it into my dishwasher. ‘That shouldn’t be hot but it is.’

“Quite the contrary Levi. I think you have been stalking me.”

“How’d you find out?” Shame. I thought he was gonna deny some more.

“Come here.” I waved him over, he stands behind my seat as i open up my phone and show him how you can view whos seen your snap story. He leans down his face near mine as he looks over my shoulder as i point out his name. He scoffs and i laugh. "Now, 35 ain’t old but that was definitely an old person mistake.” I begin to laugh harder as he glares down at me a small smirk on his lips. 

 Levi joins in my laughter. After awhile we calm down staring at each other in silence. Levi pushes a curl behind my ear. “So beautiful.” He mumbles. “You make it impossible to not want you.” He says caressing my jaw. I don't even care about the consequences now, I've never wanted anyone as bad as i want him. 

Levi grabs my chin making me look up at him. His thumb going over my bottom lip. I’m drunk on him and he’s barely touched me. The way he’s looking down at me like I'm the most fragile, beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on has me feeling hot in more ways than one. I open my mouth a little as Levi pushes his thumb inside. I don’t know what’s coming over me, what spell his ashen eyes have on me. I graze my bottom teeth over his digit, giving a kitten lick before closing my mouth around it. 

“Suck.” Is the only command Levi gives me and I do as I'm told, keeping eye contact. A scarlet tint covers Levi’s cheeks as his mouth opens slightly, and if i thought he couldn’t get any hotter he lets out a low groan as i grab onto his wrist to take his thumb further into my mouth. 

“I don’t care what happens.” He says removing his thumb and standing me up. Everything feels like it happens in one fluid motion as Levi pushes me up against the kitchen wall. One hand around my neck and the other that has a tight grip on my hip. The way Levi is kissing me, i can’t explain it. Like he’s making love to my mouth. His kisses are slow and sensual, running his tongue in my mouth like he’s trying to savor the last drop. The hand on my waist has now traveled to grip my thighs like earlier, but he doesn’t stay there. Levi pushes my legs apart with his knee and glides his hand up my thighs until he’s playing with my panty line. He releases my mouth for a second to help me out of my underwear. I’ve never been more proud of myself for wearing a thong. Levi stares me deep in my eyes as he puts my thong in his pocket instead of discarding it on the floor. I never knew it was possible to be as wet as I am. 

 Instead of holding me neck his hand is hovering near my hair “May i?” He asks and not able to find words i just nod with my mouth slightly ajar. Levi grabs the hair on the back of my head gently gripping it and pulling my head back to gain full access to my neck. He’s careful to not leave hickeys on the places it would be hard to cover. He kisses up my neck back to claim my mouth again. I could kiss him for hours. “Turn around.” He says before giving my one last kiss on my lips. I do as he says and he unzips the back of my dress. But he doesn’t take it all the way off, just my back and the top of my ass is exposed. I don’t feel him touching me anymore so i glance over my shoulder. Levi is just taking in my appearance. “It should be criminal being able to touch you the way i am.” he says running a finger up my spine giving me chills. He steps closer to whisper in my ear. “And it should be very criminal the way I'm about to ruin you. I don’t want to leave room for any thoughts of another man again in that pretty head of yours.” He kisses my cheek as he peels my dress off. Grabbing my hand to help me step out of it. I began to turn around. “No, turn back around for me.” I nod turning back around. My breast pushed against the wall. Levi moved my hair off my shoulders to kiss my neck, down to my shoulders, making his way to leave open kisses against my spine. He’s on his knees behind me as he’s kissing the dimples above my ass. One hand keeping me steady against the wall while the other spreads my thighs. Levi kisses my ass. I moan, I never thought gentle kisses on my ass would turn me on and get me this wet. At this point I'm dripping and he hasn’t even touched my sacred part yet. Levi chuckles and then does it again to each one giving it a little nibble. "I just wanna worship this ass.” He uses the hand that spread my thighs to slap my ass, running his tongue on the reddened skin after. Another moan escapes my lips “Levi, please.” I pant. 

 He kisses his way back up to my mouth. His large hands gripping and groping all over me except where i need him the most. I hook my leg over his hip to bring him closer. The hand not kneading my breast slides down my abdomen and right between my legs where I've been craving him. I let out a gasp as he gathers my slick before inserting one, then two fingers in. “Because you asked so nicely” He smirks against my mouth. His fingers are sinful, using his thumb to circle my clit while his index and middle finger curl and stretch me out. Bringing me close to the sweet release that’s been building up. Levi pulls away his fingers and his mouth from me, earning himself a frown and a confused look. The lust filled look in his eyes is one of hunger, like he wants to do nothing but devour me. Bringing up the fingers he just had inside me he sucks off the juices i left on him. “Mmm, just as sweet as i imagined. I don’t think i can continue without tasting more.” I’m in awe, his eyes, the moan he let out tasting me on his fingers, the language. I do nothing but nod leading him to my bedroom with his hands on my hips and his lips never leaving my neck. This man is the grand multi tasker. How he can do this in a dimly lit hall and not skip a beat is beyond me. There is nothing he can’t do. 

“Lay on the bed for me. Keep your legs open.” I crawl on the bed laying my head against my pillow, Levi waits for me to pull my legs up and spread them. He smiles as I do so. “Good girl.” He says walking to my bedside table using my little remote to turn the fairy lights in my room a beautiful shade of purple. “Much better, I like to see while I eat.” He smirks unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off. ‘Damn’  I mean i know he had some muscle from how broad his shoulders look in his button ups but this man was art. Art I wanted to drag my tongue across. Levi stood at the foot of the bed, grabbing my legs to pull my down to the end of the bed. He kneeled eye level to my pussy. I’ve only had a couple guys go down on me before. A couple hookups in college and rarely my ex would. They all sucked, so i grew to not care for it, thinking maybe it was just me from hearing the stories my friends talked about mind blowing orgasms they got from it. I also never did much with lights on. Always feeling insecure in my body since a young age. Levi was opening the door for a lot of my firsts. 

I suddenly felt self conscious about being so exposed. Physically and mentally. “Don’t hide from me.” He said opening my legs again rubbing up and down my thigh. My hands covered my face. “Ivy, i wont do this if it makes you uncomfortable.” Levi peeked at me from around my legs grabbing my arm to take my hands off my face. 

“No!” I said a little too eager. “I just, I don't do oral.. often. I’ve never finished and i don’t want you to think its something you did. I think I'm just broken.” I awkwardly chuckled. The look on Levi’s face was pure disbelief, quickly replaced with determination and lust. 

“Sit up, i want you to watch me. I’m so eager to taste you again, it should be something we both enjoy. “ He said kissing my inner thighs as I leaned up on my elbows nodding at him to show I'm ready. He kissed all the way up my thigh. First placing a gentle kiss on my clit. I had to keep from moaning. He brought both my legs over his shoulder placing another kiss on my clit flicking his tongue on the sensitive bud. Switching his flicks out for swirls had me opening my legs for him more. ‘Yeah I definitely hadn't had it like this.’ I bucked my hips forward throwing my head back to let out breathy moans. Levi slid two fingers in me gently nipping my clit then swirling his tongue around it before sucking. “Ungh Levi i-.” He smirked up at me repeating the same combo over again. I felt euphoric. If there was a drug of this feeling i would be a fiend. 

 I gripped the hair on the back of his head as Levi removed his fingers and ate me out the same way he was kissing me in the kitchen, hot and sloppy. I couldn’t help but to buck against his face trying to catch that release. “Such a good girl, fuck my face just like that.” As if he said magic words the air in my lungs were knocked out and all i could do was moan his name like a dirty chant. “That’s it Ivy.” He said leaning over me placing his two fingers back in as he brought me over the edge. 

I lay on the bed panting like a ran a marathon. Levi crawled over me smirking kissing up my abdomen, over tp my breast giving each nipple a bite. He kissed me rolling his tongue over mine. “You see how good you taste? I could eat you all day.” I sat up on my knees to unbuckle his pants. Levi stood off the bed to pull his pants down, now standing in his black briefs that did nothing to hide the tint. Tint was actually an understatement, The head of his dick was poking out from his waistband. It glistened under the purple light. I sat up on my knees to kiss him again placing my hand on his bulge. ‘There's no way this is gonna fit.’  I thought to myself. “Ivy, i uh i dont have condom. I didnt expect for this to happen. We dont have to do this tonight." 

“I’m on the pill!” I said a little to eager. Even after that leg shaking orgasm i just had i still wanted him, needed him. “And i trust you.” I said pulling him closer by hooking my finger into his briefs. 

“I trust you too.” The look in his eyes was soft, like his words meant more. Kissing him again I pulled his briefs down and laid back onto my bed as he stepped out of them. My eyes went right to his member. I always imagined Levi would be packing. He had an aura about him. He had to at least be 7 1/2 or 8 inches I'm not sure. The girth is what got me, nice and thick with a slight curve. I wanted him in my mouth. I leaned forward to return the favor.

“You don’t have to do that. “ He placed his hand on my shoulder. “Plus I'm dying to be inside of you.” He said settling on top of me capturing my lips again. Levi grabbed his dick rubbing it between my folds gathering my slick on his tip. Gently pushing inside. I gripped his shoulders. Digging my nails into his skin. Its been almost a year since I last had sex but, regardless i don't think that would make taking him any easier. Levi buried his face in the crook of my neck as he pushed all the way in “fuck, you're so tight baby.” Levi moaned his voice muffled. Not wanting to wait to adjust i pushed my hips against him to let him know to move. 

Levi was slow and sensual, taking his time dragging out of me and pushing in painfully slow. “Leviii ungh.” I moaned throwing my head back against the pillows. 

“Use your words.” He used one arm to keep himself above me while the other slowly tightened around my neck. Kissing me hard. “Use your words baby.” He murmured against my lips. Keeping his sinful deep and slow pace. 

“Faster, please fuck me faster. Ruin me Levi.” That’s all he needed. The grip around my neck tightened making me clench tighter around his dick. Levi pulled one of my legs over his shoulder and began his assault on my pussy. At this point my only vocabulary was ‘right there’ or ‘harder’. Levi was fucking me dumb that soon i couldn't say anything but incoherent words mixed with his name. 

“You cant even speak can you baby?” Levi said against my ear not letting up on his pace. He reached his hand between you two to rub on your clit. It was too much, but you loved it.

“Levi i mm please.” He smirked at me barely forming a sentence. Levi sat up on his knees holding my legs behind my knees. Slowing his pace down a little but the way he slammed into you was ungodly and as you felt your second release that night building up you didn’t want him to stop. 

“You’re, gonna take all of this dick. Like the good girl you are.” He said flipping me  over to all fours. This new position putting him so deep I let out a muffled scream as pressed my face in the pillows. “Answer me.” He says slapping my ass. The grip he has on my hips is sure to leave bruises. 

“Yes Levi.” I moaned out his name. Levi switched to long deep strokes while reaching his hand between us again to rub on my clit. This man was gonna kill me. Now i could see why some woman went crazy over dick. I don’t know how any other man could ever compare in bed now that i had Levi. I didn’t want other man again. Levi had me already thinking about a monogamous relationship[p. Had me imagining a white picket fence and what our kids would like. 

“ Look at yourself”. Levi pulled my chin up to look in my large mirror across the room. He had a nice view of himself fucking me. The look in his eyes as he looked down at his dick going in and out of me to him looking up smirking in the mirror. Levi’s mouth was slightly open and his brow furrowed as he let out pants and moans. Leaning over to whisper the most lewd things of what he wanted to do to my body. ‘I wanna hear how loud you scream when i put it in your ass. would you let me do that baby?’ to ‘I want you on all fours watching me in the mirror as I eat it from behind.’ 

“Levi i mmm i’m gonna cum.” I moan pushing my ass back to meet his thrusts. “Me too baby, i’m so close. Turn around i wanna look at you when you come on my cock.” Levi laid me on my back like i weighed nothing. God, this man is everything. He leaned down to kiss me picking his pace up again, i tightened around him. My second orgasm that night crashing hard. My back arching a bit off the bed as Levi is still fucking into me chasing his orgasm.

”Keep fucking me like that baby.” He says as i raise my hips to meet his while he rubs my clit again overstimulating me in the best way. At this point i don't know if I'm screaming or moaning. 

 Levi finishes collapsing on top of me, laying his head on my chest. Both of us laying there trying to catch our breath. He looks up at me. Both us laughing because the only sound in the room is us panting. He looks over at the the clock reading 3:51. “ I haven't been up this late in awhile. “ He chuckles laying next to you, propping himself up on his elbow to look at you. 

“What?” I smile. He must think i look a sweaty mess.

“Nothing, i just think you’re beautiful. I cant believe i had the balls to actually do it.” his smile fades for a second.

“What do you mean?” His raven hair is hanging in his face. His sweat causing some strands to turn wavy. I run my fingers through his hair.

“ I was supposed to be in California for a couple months not Hange. But i convinced them to take my spot and bring Moblit with them. Hange of course jumped at the idea of going to LA since they have some family there. They were worried about leaving you so i told them i would take you as my paralegal for the time being since i hadn't met you officially. I had only seen you in meetings with Hange. And Ivy i have to tell you it took me weeks to realize that i never put myself first. I wanted you and i had to have you. Plus it doesn’t hurt being your own boss so i can bend the rules.” He smiled smirking at me.

 I had no idea this whole time he had wanted me. He saw me from my first day and knew he had to have me. God, this is not something i would have ever thought to happen. But I'm glad it did, now a new feeling of abandonment and jealousy if someone else wanted him as bad as i do comes to mind. I didn’t think these feelings would happen so soon.

“What is it? Tell me what you’re thinking.” He said with his lips against the back of my hand. i shook my head looking away from him, getting ready to shower. But, he held my hand to keep me put. “If something is bothering you i want to know. You can talk to me about anything. I wanna be here for you.” Its lame to cry after sex right? My eyes welled up with tears. Men like him were not real. There has to be a catch.

“I’ve never done something like this. Anyone one night stand I've had was years ago and under the influence and i hardly knew 

who they were or saw them again. I haven't been in a relationship in years and i.. i don't know. This amount of care and reassurance is new for me. I’m sorry for crying I'm such a baby.” I said getting up to hide my face and start the shower. 

“Ivy, lets talk. I’m being honest. I want you and not just because we had the best sex i’ve ever had in my life. But because im drawn to you, and i feel like this could be something great and i get it. I’m not used to being this open but im not blind i saw how men were falling over you tonight and i just cant stand the thought of you not being mine.” He was now in the bathroom holding my face between both hands. Using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that found their way down. I nodded with more tears falling from my eyes. 

“Baby look, we don’t have to talk about this tonight. Lets get cleaned up alright?” We showered. Cleaning each others bodies and giving gentle kisses filled with so much emotion. I stepped out before him to grab clothes in hopes that he would stay the night with me.

“Uhm these are my brothers from when he visits. But they should fit you.” I finished putting lotion on my body as Levi dressed. “Also if you want that is. No pressure. You can stay the night with me. I know you mentioned having to go to the office tomorrow but i mean its late and i would hate for you to make that long dr-”

“Ill stay” He chuckled pulling the shirt over his head. 

‘Perfect because im exhausted after that workout.” I said laughing at how Levi winked at me. He got behind me in bed as i pulled the covers over us. 

“A workout indeed.” He tickled my sides and giving me a kiss on the neck. We talked a bit more before bed. Sharing childhood stories. I laid on Levi’s chest  drawing patterns on it with my finger as he told me a story about how much of a partier Erwin and Hange were in college. I closed my eyes the sound of his voice lulling me to sleep. Levi looked down as i opened my eyes. “ I swear i was listening.” He chuckled and kissed my forehead. “There will be more time in the future for these stories. Go to sleep, ill see you in the morning.” He pulled my chin up to kiss me deep, a couple pecks later i laid back down on his chest as Levi turned the lights off. The idea of doing this every night with him one day swelled my heart. I dont think i could ever let him go.