#maybe it would be worth it in the end? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adrift-in-thyme · 2 years

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Sometimes I’m super tempted to delete my ao3 account and just start all over again

#but it’d be such a PAIN #I’d have to repost my works and struggle to get my stats back up again #AND accumulate all my bookmarks #not to mention I’m in the middle of a wip rn #but i just want a fresh start #I fell into some crap last year and I want to fully break away #like even more than orphaning and deleting fics can do #idk maybe eventually I’ll bite the bullet and do it #I’m kinda scared I’ll fall right back into that stuff if I’m not careful so #if your hand causes you to sin cut it off right?#maybe it would be worth it in the end?#anyway #just a little stuck in my brain today #trin rants

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claraoswalds · 4 months

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This is a brand new science for me, and I love it. The language of luck. 'Cause what is a coincidence but a form of accident? Two things bumping together unexpectedly. Like you and me.

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userteri #userveronika #miatendos #userdiana #usertreena #ruby sunday #fifteenth doctor #maestro #*#originally this was just going to be ruby + snow and then it devolved from there #memories changing... being brought into the present..... some connection to the ancient one. luck coincidences connections.#the doctor describes the legion as a 'pantheon'; a group of gods. and so far they're all personifications #the toymaker is 'a living game'; maestro is 'the essence of music itself'; henry arbinger = harbinger and acts as prelude to the gods #then 'the one who waits' is perhaps... time? death?#and 'the oldest one'... that could mean a lot of things #my first thought was that the oldest one would be death since the finale is called 'the empire of death'. alternatively: life.#but if you connect it back to ruby: luck coincidences connections. so far that's been her whole thing. so maybe something related to that #then again we're only on ep 2 of 8 so... anyway. idk what any of this means but. thinking thoughts!!!#worth noting: if the snow is a warning it starts snowing in the tardis during the scan. it reveals her genetic id/species/age #but not her nucleotide composition. whatever tf that is. and it only gets to 75% complete before it pans away. but it does finish scanning #and in canon 6+ months pass between the end of ep 1 and the beginning of ep 2 so... presumably the doctor has SEEN those results. fwiw.

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thecruellestmonth · 4 months

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We love Bruce's tragic ignorance of Sheila's role in Jason's death.

We love Jason never telling another soul what Sheila did, because he loves her, because he's grateful she showed him compassion as soon as it didn't cost her anything, because nobody needs to know.

We need to go further.

Jason's last act as Robin got an innocent woman killed. His own mother, a doctor who should've lived many more years making the world a better place.

Poor Doctor Haywood might've survived being forced to work for the Joker, but Jason dragged her into a dangerous confrontation instead.

It's obvious what happened: Jason was trying to show off. He wanted to impress his mother by revealing himself as Robin and taking down the Joker. Treating everything like a game, never considering the consequences.

And despite losing everything to his recklessness, Sheila still used her dying breath to praise him. It's a tragedy that such a sweet woman dedicated her life to caring for others, but her own son doomed her with his carelessness.

#Bruce takes a break from making ten thousand Martha And Thomas Wayne charities to establish the Sheila Haywood Scholarship Program.#Jason doesn't have any catty remarks for once. Huh. So he does have some shame for getting his mother killed.#If only he'd actually change his ways in honor of her values.#Jason Todd #Sheila Haywood #Bruce and Jason #See nobody would support a charity named after an ungrateful slum kid who stole his benefactor's credit card and ran away.#Not to mention the Wayne Foundation probably suffered a rough patch of PR from the general Jason Todd fiasco.#No need to remind the public.#In a pinch maybe it helps that Wayne Entertainment owns The Gotham Gazette and The Daily Planet... But you can only control so much media.#Consider the optics. The sad reality is that a Jason Todd Memorial Foundation would do more harm than help.#But Doctor Sheila Haywood? That's a legacy worth honoring.#Educated. Compassionate. Dutiful. Forgiving.#Maybe someday Jason will find the courage to follow in his mother's footsteps.#BTW how many billions has Jason donated to charity? Oh that's right. Zero billions.#Truly his selfishness never ends.

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haze-of-hyperfixations · 2 months

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a concept. to consider. what if. what if there was a Remember Them reprise after the Thunder Saga. "We are not to let them die in vain" except he's the only one left so it's "I am not to let them die in vain." and there's no backing chorus of his men. because. they're all dead.

and the line takes on a whole new meaning now that he's the one who chose to let them die.

(not in vain. it can't have been in vain, it can't have been for nothing. i have to see her. i have to see her, because if i don't make it home, those men died for nothing. the ends always justify the means. i can justify anything as long as it ends with Penelope and Telemachus both in my arms again. but if it doesn't-

but it will. it will. it has to.)

and our- ... -and my comrades will not die in vain...

#epic the musical #epic: the musical #epic: the thunder saga #epic the thunder saga #do i actually think this would happen? uhhh.....idk. probably not? maybe? but do i think this could be a neat concept if it did happen? YES #i love the idea of odysseus using the deaths of his men as further reason to get home because he thinks that will make it worth it.#“the end always justifies the means”#and at the first obstacle he faces it's like. oh. what if there is no end- NOPE. NOT THINKING ABOUT IT. I'M GOING HOME AT ANY COST.#because if it was all for nothing then the guilt would crush him!!! he has to believe he'll see penelope again!! she's all his power!!#and. and his comrades will not die in vain....#in other words: HA. Local Tragedy Protagonist Believes Attaining His Goals Will Absolve Him Of The Blood He Spilled To Attain Them.#who's gonna tell him that the man who gets to make it home alive is no longer him...... oh? he was already informed? oh okay i guess.

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puppyeared · 1 year

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fake ep idea + doodles

#i was thinking abt how funny it would be if there was a shiftythrifting blog equivalent in lmk. and half the stuff on there is #submitted by wukong. so i thought a yard sale ep would be funny lol #basically the hoard becomes problem one way or another and wukong figures the best way to get rid of his junk is thru ebay #somehow ends up selling world ending artifacts to random megapolis citizens so mk mei and redson have to scramble to find em #purposely meant to mirror the weekly shenanigans s1-2 style eps that are really goofy (dumpling ep noodles ep etc)#but it gets darker and darker because MK is not fucking ok after that whole thing with the scroll and some unchecked identity crisis #for me id want him to kind of. freak tf out because they have to find MULTIPLE chaos inducing items that could end the world while trying t #be sillygoofy and funny about it. so hes trying to mask his panic with “ohhh guys its just like the good ol days ^_^ remember that ^_^”#ESPECIALLY after that whole thing with the ink scroll. also mei doesnt buy any of it and is worried for him the whole time #as for the B plot it could be monkey king also trying to be very relaxed abt selling 4000 years worth of stuff and tang getting all huffy #like “these are priceless artifacts that could help us learn so much about the past!! wtf man!!!”#and maybe it reveals smth like wukong not wanting to hold on anymore bc his past weighs him down. and theyre all reminders #i think azure mentioned that wukong is sentimental (idk if that was genuine or lying to mk) so that could be touched on to #so basically. the theme would be some sort of conversation abt nostalgia. i think. im not a writer so its very fuzzy in my head #if anyone wants to add on or include their own spin on it feel free. also included undercut redson as a treat somewhere in there #myart #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk red son #lmk mei #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lmk xiaojiao #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #doodles #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk traffic light trio #yard sale ep

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homoeroticgrappling · 3 months

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He ain't slick, I saw what it said before he edited it

I will now be overthinking about this until Saturday

#rotating it in my mind because saying it wasn't his fault then taking it back??#is he actually back to being a total asshole to everyone and not giving a fuck or is he just trying to pretend so he isn't vulnerable again #his character work has always been a strong point and there was always a thread of insecurity covered up with arrogance #keeping people at a distance emotionally and being willing to fuck over anyone as long as he comes out on top but we are post-btybb #seems like danny wasn't able to be useful in taking out ospreay (who absolutely would make mjf feel like he's being replaced)#so the payoff of getting close to him wasn't worth the risk anymore #mjf's self defence has always been building weapons to hurt other people before they can hurt him first #so it makes sense that danny is just a necessary casualty #and he's always turned on people but mjf cracked open his shell during btybb before getting stabbed in the back #maybe knowing how it feels to be on the receiving end made him want to tell danny what he wished someone would've told him #but then he remembered he isn't gonna be max anymore and let his guard down. he's back to being MJF and Better Than You #MJF #Danny Garcia #TW: blood

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lunarharp · 5 months

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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

#witch hat tag #orufrey #the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do #someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing #oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives #agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl #pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats #coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined #travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol #but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv #and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me #well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on

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numinousnic · 4 months

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living in Boston while being a fan of Greater Boston is so funny sometimes. this weekend i was on a food tour in the North End for a friend's birthday, and in between restaurants, our guide was pointing out filming locations used in various Ben Affleck movies and also described Matt Damon as Affleck's "very good friend — no, his best friend" and i had to take a reality check for a moment.

#a day in the life #greater boston #me: ''has something happened to matt damon that would cause ben affleck to be introduced BEFORE him?''#''something like. greater boston s4 perhaps?''#anyway it was very funny #also the food tour was a fun time. we got to skip the line at mike's and people waiting outside were SO upset lol #also also it's worth mentioning that every time i go to the north end #i DO think about the olive garden food truck bc it's maybe one of my favorite bits ever in gb

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samarecharm · 8 months

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I miss goro. Bring his bitchass back

#chattin #thinking of him in strikers is funny #local hermit and murderer out in the sun and living free #i think he would like sophia. not a whole lot but like. maybe hes a lil attached #thinkin about him having to be in a camper w the thieves is so funny #my mans is NOT sleeping in that fucking tent. hes finding some rocks to huddle under for warmth #but also. him and makoto riding up front #hes prob got his license too so they share driving duties #this is purely based off of my hcs for him since i didnt play royal but still wanted him alive #maybe his connections w shido also make him a suspect? i dunno #so by saes suggestion; he begrudgingly goes along w them #i think. it would be healing for him to see monarchs and their reasons for being so cruel #to know that they were in a bad place and acted out maliciously bc of it #and to see them grapple w the consequences of their actions #they did awful things even if they thought it was worth it. and now they have to start over #and guess what; life doesnt just end or stop; they gotta keep going #obviously this would make goro gag and block it out. he would hate it.#but it would still be healing #the guy at the boiler room who believed that maybe…..he could change……..hes still there

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sluckythewizard · 4 months

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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

#cw gore #WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE #STILL A WIP #SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY #THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN #ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY #NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS #BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT #THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT #I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE #THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT #DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES #NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART #THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER #PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN #YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE #LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT #anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming #why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake #OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc #i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre

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aroaessidhe · 6 months

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2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books?#or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol)#man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

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sesamenom · 7 months

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Flavors of numenoreans (minus the druedain because i still haven't figured out how i want to draw them)

#silm #silmarillion #numenor #numenoreans #idk why mr. edainic is so small sorry #idk if rhunic is the right word for it but rhundrim sounded wrong-er #this would probably be sometime in the late elros era?#i imagine he would encourage a lot of immigration early on to bolster the population #the kingdom literally popped up from the sea and started with what. one city worth of people?#you have to get citizens from somewhere #so a lot of travelers ended up settling down there #plus a few ancient mongolian soldiers who somehow ended up in the union of maedhros (?)#idk if i missed something but i am still unsure how bor and ulfangs people ended up in the general himring area #sorry druedain ill add you when i decide on a design #maybe im just tired but idk who the druedain align with geographically

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sainz100 · 2 months

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Max Verstappen | 2024 Belgian GP | 📸 via Verstappencom's Insta

#max verstappen #autumn posts #so many feeling rn #congrats to George!!! amazing!!!#feeling for Lewis and Carlos like maybe they could've done a one-stop too? idk #it kinda seemed like Lewis wasn't told about the impromtu one-stop pivot and for Toto to call it unfortunate ahh makes me think #many Mercedes thoughts #also so happy for Max but of course wanted more still an incredible climb back #I was so stressing I watched the last 15~ laps through his onboards instead of hearing the F1 TV commentary haha #I like the commentary on F1 usually but it was really fun to be onbaord and just be in the moment!!! F1TV is so worth it to me #just to kinda experience the rush even through the screen #I'll have to go back and rewatch the end!!!!#also I feel for Checo with all the pressure #my gut is saying a Daniel RB spot tho #which I would love very very much ahhhhhhh #it's hard loving so many drivers!!! each race is such a mixed bag of emotions #much to think about #anyways into the insta dive ❤️🫡

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ducktracy · 5 months

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reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)

if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop

#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now #the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes #they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most #prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end #Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures #in that the characters have similar roles in both movies #i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything #RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa #e #i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit #o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!!#but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t #be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning #if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes #iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is #gonna age horribly can we maybe not'#ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender #BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing #so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time #if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen #i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!'#each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching #22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece #in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in #so. thus concludes my spiel #csc #vid

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frobby · 1 month

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one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?

#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex #they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields #like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop #idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life #cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult #ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt #ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away #i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker #so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something #but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions #i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now #but now hes medicated and he went to therapy #he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked #bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda #and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas #sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end #anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy #this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites #the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class #nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate #jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #yukio okumura #rin okumura

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threadmonster · 5 months

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Concept:

It's May 4th and Shinra has been talking about his plans to marathon Star Wars with Celty. He isn't particularly interested in the series but Celty is intrigued by aliens and all. Izaya is annoyed. Of course Shinra, as usual, only cares about Celty. It still makes him feel gloomy though, it's not like Shinra ever forgot his birthday before.

He gets even more annoyed when Shinra calls him for a favor. Why should he care if Shinra forgot a few things at the store? But it's fine, whatever, it's not like he has anything better to do. Even his own sisters didn't bother to send him his birthday death threat.

Shinra told him to let himself in. He doesn't know why all the lights are off. He huffs and turns them on all just to be bombarded by a chaotic mess of "Happy Birthday" wishes and a camera flash in his face.

He doesn't know what to say or how to react. He sees Shinra, Celty, his sisters, Kyohei and the van gang, Simon was there. He wants to get mad, how dare he be fooled like this. In truth, he doesn't even know how to feel about it.

You see, his self-worth is so low that he can't understand, people do care about him.

#{domino talks}#durarara #izaya orihara #i have posts about izaya's self worth based off the spin off novels #also i think even if people can agree “ikebukuro is better without izaya” and he doesn't seem missed at all (cite: SH)#they probably still care #...despite him ending up in the hospital and no one cared then #look i could have made a sad birthday post but i decided to go a little fluffy #also the twins definitely send death threats for his birthday just try to change my mind #shizuo was invited but he didn't know whether he should go or not #if they were trying to do something nice for the flea then he'd just ruin it anyway #it's better if he doesn't get involved #this is an au where Shizaya aren't complete enemies #they just think “he hates me so what's the point of trying to change anything” basically #the whole “if under different circumstances could they be friends” thing #maybe shizuo has a saved draft that he's hesitant to send “happy birthday flea”#idk what if i had motivation to make this into a fic? that'd be cool?#i feel like this would be his 19th birthday? idk 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

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