#maybe that's why i like art and i can finish pieces‚ because the image is always shifting. it's like liquid

[keeps-ache]

honestly.

[kairiscorner]

Helloo, can I request Miguel with an artist reader who draws him a lot? 👉👈 Like the reader has a secret crush on Miguel and he inspires them a lot, without even knowing it. And maybe there's a Gwen-and-Miles-like-situation where Miguel by accident discovers the drawings of him in their sketchbook?

AAAAAAAA ANON THIS IS SO CUTE !! tbh i wanted to finish the miggy fic i had for ate @binibinileonara bc i wanted to connect these two together, BUT I COULDN'T RESIST, I'LL MAKE IT SEPARATE BC WHY NOT !! thank you for the lovely idea btw (i also had an idea like this actually in my notes) THANKS FOR GIVING ME THE OOMPH TO DO IT !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you always had this desire to capture all that interested you in its full beauty, in its unbridled greatness. that was, to you, the essence of all your art pieces; they always reflected how you saw the world, how you saw nature, how you saw people.

you never believed people had one or two faces to them, you believed people were multi-faceted, that every person was a kaleidoscope of beauty, skills, quirks, flaws, fears, hopes, and dreams. you loved capturing every bit of people who intrigued you the best you could, and you hoped that if you stood back and admired the big picture that was them, going over the details and fibers that made each person their own–from the good, bad, pretty and ugly details–you would finally see the whole, uncut image of the person you were illustrating; who you were painting in the colors you saw them in, the colors that stuck with you and filled the empty canvas of your mind with all sorts of shapes and splotches of hues and shades that formed the image of them when their name would come to mind.

and for some reason... that person to you right now was miguel o'hara. you had a lot of things to say about him, even words that many would argue don't exist. you felt a myriad of feelings when you were around miguel, and you knew there was more than just the dictating leader miguel that everyone was familiar with. like all people, miguel, too, was an explosion of different kinds of colors to you–colors that only you could see, because when he was around you... he was more than just the cool, calm, and collected boss everyone saw him as.

he was much more caring, much more funny around you. his smile when you told him a funny story illuminated a bright yellow and a warm orange to you–his eyes would twinkle and you'd see the hazelnut brown in his eyes, and a shade of what appeared to be coffee brown at the bottom of his irises. he exuded a commanding aura, a dark, cool blue–but when paired with you, and only you, he exuded a bright red; a color of fiery passion, intimacy, and most of all... attraction.

he was the subject of your affections, you, the soulful and emotional artist that admired him and all that he was from afar and up close. you admired the way he held your hand when you were scared on a few missions, you admired how gently he held you when you two were caught between a rock and a hard place; and how soft and loving his eyes were when they gazed at you. you knew he might have felt a platonic kind of love for you, what with being so comfortable around you and all, but you felt a different kind of love for him–and you hated denying your creative side the indulgence of capturing him in all his beauty.

hence, you began slowly filling the empty spaces of your sketchbooks and notebooks, or whatever other papers lay around when inspiration struck you, with images of him and only him. you caught his face in moments where he was nonchalant, disappointed, angry, grumpy, and... smiling.

when you witnessed his smile for the first time when you met him, that image was burned into your retinas, into your mind, into your heart. you saw that smile from the minute you went to bed to the minute you woke up, the only thing that saddened you was that you could never hold that man who smiled at you and made your heart beat a little faster–you could only watch him and be with him at a distance. but art was the bridge between you two that'd close that distance you wanted to cover so, so badly.

you did, at times, believe what you were doing was... a little creepy. you refused to let anyone see your sketchbooks even before you drew him, and that was out of embarrassment at your drawings. but now, it was a new kind of embarrassment, a feeling adjacent to guilt and disgust at how nobody but he could fill your mind and have you wanting to keep him in your mind by feeding yourself, indulging yourself in putting him on paper and coloring him in; to be with him at a closer perspective than how you two were in the real world.

you had to admit it–seeing him constantly in your mind, wanting to let thoughts of him out on paper as you wanted to be through with imagining him, but knew you couldn't the more and more you portrayed him–it meant you... wanted him. you really, really loved him.

you knew nobody should know, nobody had to know about this little crush you had on miguel. you'd rather die than have someone peek at your sketchbook that was filled with all kinds of drawings of him. but unfortunately, the man himself bore witness to your caricatures and illustrations of him when you left your sketchbook at his office.

you ran as quickly as you could, praying he hadn't opened it out of curiosity. he was always asking you what you were up to, and you'd immediately shut your sketchbook and laugh awkwardly, claim you were merely doodling. you always left out the part that you were constantly drawing him, and only ever him; and now, he'd find out.

as you entered his office, scouring with your eyes for your sketchbook, a figure emerged from the darkness behind you and gave a slight cough. "this is yours, isn't it?" that low, fluid voice was none other than miguel's. you turned around in fear of what he was going to look like–would any of the faces you drew seeing him as be one of the faces you'd see?

to your surprise... no. he had a different, completely new face that you had never drawn him in; a flustered state. he was blushing, his angled cheeks and high nose bridge were covered in a pink-red hue–and he was grinning. he handed you the sketchbook with a now sheepish smile. "i'm sorry, i wasn't sure if it was yours. i had to... look through for a name. and, um... it was very–" he wanted to continue, but then, he saw you were on the verge of tears.

"i'm... sorry..." you muttered, feeling incredibly ashamed of yours and busted for having indulged in drawing him without him knowing. guilt stirred in your stomach and elicited tears to well up in your eyes. miguel smiled, and as his eyebrows curved upwards together to form a look of reassurance, he placed both hands on your shoulders.

"listen, you have a wonderful talent. i'm sorry if you don't hear that enough, but that changes today. i'm so... wow, i'm so flattered you thought i was good enough to be drawn that way. it feels... amazing, to know an artist sees me fit to be their, what would you call it?" he asked as he wiped a tear rolling down your cheek away from you.

"a... muse." you whispered, wiping the rest of your tears away. miguel chuckled. "right, a muse." he said as he inched closer to you, with the sweetest smile on his face. "i might sound really crazy right now, but... i want to be your muse. i really, really want to be your muse." he said, with emphasis on 'your'.

your face lightened up as the tears that welled up gave your eyes a glassy look, and you saw the blush on his deepen as you became more and more flustered. you smiled and wrapped your arms around his chest, pulling him in for an embrace you needed to release. "and i want to be your artist. only yours." you whispered, to which miguel reciprocated your hug. and it was here that you witnessed him in a new color, a pinkish, reddish hue that made you feel all kinds of happiness and excitement.

a love meant to be captured and painted in with bursts of emotion and care for one another.

a/n: I'M SO SORRY IF IT DIDN'T COME OUT THAT WELL NGL I MADE THIS A LITTLE RUSHED 😭😭😭 BUT I LOVE MIGGY HERE PLSSS AND I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE HIM HERE, TOO <333

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck

[betterbemeta]

I think AI Art exploits and degrades not just artists, but every single person who looks at it in some ways because 'how we look at art' is part of art itself.

This principle is super easy to experience as an artist. All you have to do is practice and reach a plateau where things you did before seem worse to you, that felt great at the time you made them. Your ability to see art changes as you make art, and as you view art.

It's not snobby to say that there is a low average level of 'seeing' art. There's also a low average level of seeing technical design, or seeing weather patterns, or seeing copy editing mistakes and that's why we have architects and engineers, meteorologists, and professional editors. I think a lot about this bit by Scott McCloud in Understanding Comics:

Like the point here is not that 'most people are superficial', but that the surface of art is what most people are familiar with. And it is this basic familiarity that I believe AI Art exploits to fake integrity, something that even the most well-known laughably 'bad art' still technically has.

Like, laugh all you want but effort went into the surface of this art such that it appeared 'okay' to the one who made it, and to those who maybe aren't paying attention or see that its colored and shaded first, the anatomy last. It relies sort of on your familiarity with 'what art looks like' to accept it, but not completely. Someone did work to try and earn your acceptance even if, uh, it's not very good in some ways.

But AI Art relies fully on how unfamiliar you are with art. Let's call this principle 'glamour'.

At first 'the glamour' is unconvincing: this is during the AI's training. But the first 'pass' is the threshold where information builds up about how to reproduce a minimally acceptable image. This is where the glamour is set: the minimum accuracy to convince a human being to fill in its gaps. To basically capture their imagination. From there, front-end use of the machine learning model is released for general users, and it is those users who then select out of many outputs which glamour fools them most. As the other half of this system, the hidden decision-maker, humans are also 'learning' familiarity with the glamour: comparing it to not just our surface knowledge but to itself. We have left reality.

A good example of this can be seen in AI-generated pictures of fiber crafts. It's possible that traditional or digital artist might not be perfect with their drawing or perspective or coloring etc. or may stylistically push the boundaries of perspective or form on purpose. But for a knit, crocheted, or sewn piece a final product often can't exist without its craft having physical integrity:

Aside from the issues that are obvious (fake tilt shift photography with no consistent field of blur, a spaghetti yarn ball, unknown stitch on the vest, no comprehensible seam between the arm and the body, etc.) here are some things that stick out to me to knowing even a little about knitting,

The fake stockinette on the helmet is confused about whether it is completed horizontally or vertically: vertical on the headband (many hats terminate this way, so there are plenty of images to sample) but indecisive when it has to become a round hat shape.

The number of rows on the arms is inconsistent, decreasing strangely where a k2tog would never be.

There is no consistent way the hands make sense, if they are 'mittens' or if the stockinette ridges become 'fingers'.

We can't see how the bottom of the foot was finished: the left foot either began or was decreased to meet at a central point but it doesn't match the right foot and it's not clear how either foot keeps it shape.

Beyond the plagiarism of the images that went into generating AI outputs, your diminishing time to learn about/be exposed to 'things' (beyond just 'art,' anything that isn't essential to your survival) will become increasingly exploited in the future. If left unchecked, images like these will represent not only novelties or etsy scams but a large amount of people's exposure to 'things' in general. Which then leads to something like AI inbreeding (AI generating based on AI), except like... with you.

When people are more familiar with a glamour than 'the real thing', even superficially.

Exploitation of this type isn't even a new thing. It's just that AI can speed it up or extend it to new spheres. Anyone can see a physical table and think 'this table is crap' if it's poor quality because of how much we use tables and our knowledge of what tables are and should do. But I think the blog McMansion Hell actually illustrates a real, practical situation where the familiarity level with a craft (architecture) is low and standards lower to meet it. These hulks were certainly built to invoke 'glamour', but when closely inspected, they have the design equivalent of 12 fingers or bra straps bleeding into someone's skin.

Another easy example might be the excessive 'glamour' that surrounds selling cars in the USA. Very few people will buy enough cars to become more than superficially familiar with them and the amount of people who are car-related professionals is negligible next to the number of people who require a car.

Both cars and houses are expensive purchases that are made relatively infrequently, which is why their brokers and dealers can bet against a customer's average level of knowledge. But soon, many more things may become like buying houses or cars: obscured by glamour.

AI Art relies on you to be a sucker, just like how a sketchy sales rep depends on you to be a sucker. Except even worse than the sales rep, your brain is expected to not just be dumb and inexperienced, but also to get actively dumber over time from doing all the work too.

[what-the-flux]

At long last, I can post the finished art! I had been sitting on it for some weeks, waiting for the inspiration to hit to write a short piece to accompany it. Definitely recommend full viewing.

oOo ----------------------------------------------------- oOo

Glittering motes of dust hung suspended in waning late afternoon light shining through the skylights. The upper levels of the City-Beneath-The-Cube were lighter and airier than outsiders realized, but the walls, planters and walkways of planed and etched stone that went down many stories made the whole of the place feel like some kind of precision-wrought canyon dotted with workshops, passages and arcades where the locals and laborers bustled.

(continued under the cut)

Lorr still knew this place well, despite the many years separating his former life and younger self from his current one. It hadn’t changed much, the smells and the noise were the same but he noted that there were new, more effective safety railings in the Public Commons and that the local favorite dive, Pi’s had updated their signage (finally).

The bounty hunter rubbed a hand across his face, closing his eyes momentarily as he let his ears take over, picking up all the sounds surrounding him. He would need to move further away from the Commons to better filter the urban background static. Lorr had just sent out his hawk Deputy to scope out the area in case they got lucky and found their mark momentarily out in the open. Both he and Deputy were already familiar with her, so that wouldn’t be difficult. Problem was, it also meant she’d immediately recognize the hawk for who he was and what it meant as well. A part of Lorr secretly hoped she’d get tipped off early.

Why did I agree to this? It wasn’t the money, not this time. Am I trying to make a point? She nearly got us killed and then ran for it. But I know her. Knew her. I can’t just erase all this history just because of one incident, one indiscretion can I? Maybe this is how I have to get through to her.

He sighed inwardly and braced against his spear as he rose from a crouch, the movement preternaturally smooth and deliberate, like a predatory animal. He looked down from his high vantage as he faced the section of the Undercube that was known to the denizens as the Plexus. It was a network of tunnels, access ‘ports, antechambers, quarries and dwellings that confounded natural senses of direction. Less public-facing, much more closed in and easier to hide. Or lose a pursuer.

The slim asura made his way down the ledge he was using to survey, walking along a catwalk only just wide enough to admit a mid-sized labor golem at most. His ears twitched and he sniffed, feeling the minute air currents of a service tunnel cleverly tucked behind a cleft in the worked stone. Still not certain this was were his mark had proceeded but knowing it would get him into the center of the Plexus quicker, he decided to go for it anyway. Forced to stow his spear in such close quarters, he kept a hand on his dagger as he stalked forward into the passage, the inside only dimly lit by a track of dim yellow quartz-lights along the floor.

Infrared imaging on his monocle made it easy for him to get an idea of the topography of the inner workings of the maze of service tunnels he found himself in, but he was careful to not rely on it solely. He stopped every so often, using his eyes and ears but also a generous amount of intuition to pick the correct course. Chambers became somewhat larger and more spacious as he passed golem foundries, making his way steadily downward. He was becoming more aware that he knew where he was going, it was like retracing steps from his childhood back to the colorful yet rundown living warrens and slums that he grew up in.

She wouldn’t go all the way back there, would she? Lorr was starting to think it wasn’t just him that was trying to make some kind of point.

The smells and noise were subtly changing and it wasn’t long before he found himself in the center of the Plexus. Part bazaar, part manufactory, it acted as the working class nerve center and was a riot of activity, industrial clamor and smells.

He was certain of where he was going now. He didn’t know why exactly she came all the way down here where they had all met in the early days before the nonsense with the Whispers and fighting dragons happened, but he was determined to find where this chase ended. He’d get answers, and if it meant having to fail his mission and come back to his current boss empty handed, then so be it.

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

six- late night inspo (1.7k words)

'You're late.' I say without looking up at him.

'And you're as blunt as usual I can see.'

Finally, looking up at him, I squint my eyes before replying, 'Don't change the topic. Why are you late?'

'I had something to take care of.'

'Look, if you aren't going to take this project seriously just say that from the get go. At least that way I can prepare to pick up your slack, so I don't fail.' My voice is a little more accusatory than it could be.

'I'm only 15 minutes late. Chill.' He's finally sat down, across from me, levelling us out.

Managing to soften my voice, I return to my previous point, 'You are going to take this seriously, right?' 

'Yes, y/n, I'm taking this seriously. I really just had to deal with something.'

'Okay. Then lets get to work. I was thinking we could both brainstorm on our individual pieces today. I have a couple of ideas, and I'm sure you do to.' I can't help but smile thinking about the art we could make together. We used to always come up with the craziest ideas together, they may not have always come out as we imagined, but we always had fun.

'That sounds good. What do you have in mind?' He's smiling now too.

'Get your sketchbook out, and I'll tell you. That is if you remembered to bring it.' It was meant to come off as harsh, but it came out far to soft, as if I was joking with him like old times.

'Shit...'

'Jungkook, I swear to god if you tell me you've forgotten it again I will shove this eraser down your throat.'

It's silent for a minute before be bursts out laughing, retreating his beaten up book from his bag. 'Not funny.' And with that I fling the rubber off his head, hitting a perfect bullseye.

This does nothing to sober up his laughing, if anything it made it worse. He's now hunched over the bench making a massive scene out of it all. 'God. You're scary when you're angry, you know that?'

'I've been told once or twice.' I let out a little laugh at this.

When he finally straightens up it's my turn to laugh at the others expense. A massive red mark has formed right in the centre of his forehead. 'Damn I have an extraordinary shot, maybe I should've gone with sport. My talent is obviously being wasted here.'

'Very funny.' He rubs the red splotch on his head cursing, 'How bad is it?'

'What? Worried it'll put off the flock of women always surrounding you?'

'Oh, trust me, It'd take a lot more than this to deter them.' He's smirking now, and It's putting an end to my fit of laughter.

'Right, sorry. Forgot you were like some sort of Greek god here.' I scoff.

'You jealous? Because you sound jealous.' He's still smirking, god do I wish I could slap that smirk off of his face.

'Jungkook, I've seen you playing Barbies with your little sister. Trust me, I do not see in you whatever every other girl on this campus sees in you.'

As soon as I'm finished talking it's like his whole demeanour has changed. He's not smirking any more, so I guess I got my wish.

'So about the individual pieces, how exactly do you think we should go about it?' Is all he replies.

Ignoring the lump in my throat I open my sketchbook and show him what I've planned so far. They aren't very detailed, but they show the overall message I'm trying to put forward.

By the end of my little presentation he's smiling again, and I can't help but feeling a little shy. We've spent hours showing each other our art but after all this time I feel like I'm laying my soul out to him.

Art has always been the way I express myself, and I'm always worried that maybe I'm showing too much.

I've only done sketches for 3 pieces. Technically 4. One that I'm planning on making out of stained-glass, it'll be made up of multiple different parts that hang from the ceiling to make an overall image. The second one is a drawing of a man, that may or may not resemble Jungkook, comforting a little girl, who may or may not resemble me as a child- representing someone healing your inner child. Of course, I'll have to find a way to incorporate the photographs, but I'm sure I'll be able to make up some pretentious explanation.

And lastly there's a sketch of 2 sculptures, both resembling me and Jeon. I must say I enjoyed drawing him far too much, and I'm sure I'll enjoy sculpting his face even more. They count as 2 pieces as we will make them separately, but they also fit together. I've drawn them, so they have cloth covering their eyes that can be removed. I'm also planning on having LED lights in their eyes, so we can change the prospective of them. We can arrange them in many different ways; with them facing away with the fabric covering their eyes, them facing each other with different colour settings on the lights to represent emotions, etc.

I've explained all of this while showing him the drawings. Him adding a little hum here and there, never interrupting me.

The sculpture is the only one of his that I've planned as I wanted it to be a joint project and for the rest I don't want to control his creativity.

'I know I've planned ahead a lot, and we still need to incorporate the pictures, but I'm sure we can think of a way to incorporate them. And for the others we can centre it more around the pictures. It's okay if you don't like the sculpture idea it's your project too, but I just thought-'

'This is amazing, y/n.' He cuts off my rambling. Closing the book I look away from his gaze.

'It's just a rough idea. You can put in any input you like.'

'Actually, I have a couple ideas myself.' Looking over at him, hinting at him to elaborate, I notice he's still smiling. It's gentle, admiring almost.

After a moment he breaks from my gaze, focusing on his sketchbook instead. 'There not as detailed as yours but... I just had a burst of inspiration last night and this morning.'

He's rubbing the back of his neck now, a nervous habit of his. I'm the one smiling now, he always did get inspired at random times. He'd go months without even picking up a pencil sometimes and then seemingly at random times he'd get 'inspiration' and then you'd never see him without his face buried in a sketchbook.

'Is that why you were late?' Glancing at me, he gives me a shy smile.

'Sort of.' He says before opening his book.

While he's flicking through his drawing, trying to find the most recent drawings in the unorganized mess I decide to try and get a look at his other drawings. It may be an intrusion, but I'm curious on how his style has changed over time.

'What was that?' I ask after he rushes to turn the page.

'Nothing. It was nothing.' That was definitely not nothing. There is a high chance I have lost my mind because I can't believe what I just saw.

It was a drawing of me. A drawing of a picture I posted on my Instagram over a month ago at least. Except the background was different.

In the actual photo I'm laying on my bed, but in his drawing I'm in a field of flowers. One that looks suspiciously like one next to his childhood home.

And surely that can't be right. It makes a lot more sense that I've finally lost it.

Deciding that I did infant hallucinate it, I focus on the drawing he's stopped on instead.

It's a beautiful drawing. If he hadn't told me that he only started on it last night I'd easily believe that he spent hours on it.

It's a drawing of a girl. Me. This I can accept as the whole project has to revolve around the other person. Except it's not just a regular drawing of me. I'm sat in a dark room with my legs crossed and my arms up in the air, looking more carefree than I truly have felt in months. My smile is bright, blinding.

But the thing that catches my focus the most are the angel wings I've got. They almost look like they're shining in contrast to the dark background. There's a bright light coming off of me lighting up the surrounding space.

'I um, I already have a photo to represent this one.' Looking up at him, we lock eyes.

I don't even know what to say. It's beautiful. I look beautiful. He truly is an amazing artist if he could show someone he clearly has some sort of disdain for in such a positive light.

Before I can even compose myself to ask any questions he's clearing his throat and looking away. Getting one last look at the drawing, I watch as he turns the page.

The next sketch is one where we are hugging. I'm basically a rainbow incarnate, full of colour. Whereas he looks like the storm clouds that hide the prism of colour away from sight. There's a bright light in both of our chests. But where we're connected in the embrace my colour is leaking into him. At first, I think it's a beautiful concept until I realise that where he's gaining colour I'm losing it. He's draining me of it. Leaving those parts of me a dark void whereas he's being filled with my light.

'I also have a picture for this one.' This time I don't look up at him. I don't think I can.

'These are insanely good Jungkook.' Swallowing the lump in my throat, I ask what we should do this Wednesday.

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a/n: first saturday i haven’t been at work in like a year so i figured i’d write last night instead of sleeping :)

[clambuoyance]

Every time I see your art its like I can feel just how much you enjoy making it.

It has a lightness to it, like you're having fun and it's kinda infectious, so I get really happy too when I see it.

Oh I should probably throw a question in here: I love when you post a bunch of sketches all at once, do you plan your doodles ahead of time or do they just come naturally to you as you draw?

AAAH thank you so much! You wouldn't be the first person to describe my art as having a sort of "infectious" joy and it makes me really happy that it's what people think of when they see my art. I really do have fun making it which is why I think I've been able to avoid major art block for the most part or dwelling too much on the fact that I have a hard time getting finished pieces out sometimes

As for your question, I'll try my best to see if I can explain it lol. I guess the "planning" mostly consists of me getting inspired by something (usually a song) and it instilling a certain emotion or vibe in me that i then start to itch to capture in a visual art form.

Sometimes I'll be given a really vague blurry image in my head and go with that and decide to sketch it out with my hands to help me see that vision in my head clearly and I'll make a lot of changes etc etc ("that arm position didn't work" "let me try a different expression" "maybe the angle should be more dramatic"). Or sometimes if I want a clearer picture before I start drawing I'll listen to the song on repeat (and/or walk around in circles) until that Picture becomes less and less blurry and almost...tangible? Perfect 20/20 clarity happens very rarely tho and everytime it does I'm convinced something possessed me (and even then I still make changes on the fly) Sorry I'm explaining this so badly ToT i wish i could just show u my brain

If my mind was a library you would see stacks upon stacks of ideas I've held onto for years...some since 2016...but yeah I also tend to be spontaneous with it and draw a bunch of sketches at once before even "finishing" one --but at least it's out of my head and somewhere in the world!! And one day I'll probably go back and color it or whatever or remember I should post a collection of relevant doodles somewhere

Also one last thing maybe worth mentioning is that over the years my imagination was able to become clearer and my ability to draw what I see in my head also improved! As if the gap between worlds got smaller in a way--and this only happened because of how long I've been drawing that I've been able to build an arsenal of poses and expressions rules and have an easier time drawing. Which helped me be more spontaneous

One thing I do hope for is that I can at least sit through a few hours of learning to do bigger and neater composed pieces with backgrounds...so I can start doodling them more too lol

[faytalepsy]

Process of my HEX Gift

I finally remembered to take a few screenshots of my progress stages and I always wanted to do a walkthrough post so here we are!!

I did not have a specific prompt from my giftee, except for the ship which was Silrah so I decided I wanted to draw a cozy romantic Christmas scene.

Which totally showed in my first sketch...definitely... My first sketches mostly look unrecognizable and there is no real system for them because it's just lines for my brain to visualize where I want everything to be. Sometimes they look like this, sometimes they are more light/shadow inclusive. The next step was to work out the poses for Farah and Saul and as you can see, I was struggling. 🤣

When I finally found the pose I was looking for and fleshed out some elements in the background it was time for one of my absolute favorite parts.....that I forgot to screenshot....THE VALUES Which is me trying to figure out the lighting by blocking in light and dark areas with various shades of grey. But because I forgot to take a screenshot (and the value layer that I normally keep until the end for reference disappeared into the void of procreate) we will skip straight to the colour! I very roughly block in the areas with the colours I have in mind to see if everything fits and change what I don't like yet. When that is done I now have a finished concept which I need to refine and then paint!

And now I reached the point of actual background design which was HARD. I looked at many pics of Farah's headmistress' office to try and get a feel for what items might be in her private suite. The mantle of the fireplace looked very empty even after I added the little astrology magic thing and the flowers so I decided to add a circle just like the ones in her office as @septemberrie deducted. I also played around with the design of the fire guard because I wanted it to have that elegant whimsical fairy vibe. I added a lamp inspired by one from Sims 4 and a book in the foreground to hide the awkward angle they are sitting at. For the frame on the wall, I wanted a moon-themed design but it took me a while to figure it out, which is why I left the frame empty for now. Then it was time for lineart and actually sketching in the elements I wanted to be in the background. I usually set my colour or value layer and the sketch layer to 20% and draw over it.

You might also notice that the wrapped sword disappeared...which I regret to this day because I simply forgot to paint it into the rough lineart and only remembered when Skye asked what's supposed to be in the remaining present. Maybe I will add it at some point because now Saul has no present...except for Farah. But the square box present was meant to be Saul's present to Farah and originally I wanted a jewelry box but it was too small to see so I just....put a bigger box. Creativity *sparkles*

Another thing is that from the rough line-art to the nice line-art (yes I always draw my line-art two or three times.....even though line-art is my least favorite stage probably) the Christmas tree is losing a lot of ornaments. Originally I wanted to put in way more stuff like small straw stars or figurines but after painting a million tiny branches I started regretting every life decision that brought me to this point so I simplified the tree. A lot. In the end, I don't regret that because I think it fits them even better. Silrah don't strike me as people who go all out on Christmas and rather just decorate small and tastefully (given they would even celebrate because Otherworld= different culture, but we ignore that piece of worldbuilding for this Christmas-themed drawing)

Next I block in every area on a separate layer so I can alpha-lock them for the painting process. At this point I was getting too annoyed with the tree because painting it was a pain in the ass so I started shading and painting in textures and finishing everything else before even continuing to block in the tree.

The whole image was still too cold at this point so I went in with one of my favorite parts: atmosphere and then lighting bringing it all together and making the painting shine! Painting light is so much fun and I definitely want to learn more about lighting and structure to get better at it but I really love it when someone compliments the light in my art!!

I also finally added the title of the book in the front. I wanted it to be something about magic that Farah would read and looked at various old book covers with pretty lettering. I decided on "The Story of Magic" because I found a very pretty-looking reference cover with exactly the letters that I needed to spell.

And then....something was still missing......THE TREE. (I didn't take a progress picture at that stage that's why it's already in the pics up there but in the end I still had to draw the light on the branches and after doing about four or five of them I decided the effort was not worth the result and did the light reflection very very roughly. But I don't think anyone except me really notices.

And tada the finished Christmas drawing!

[miguel-ohara-wifey]

I’ll find you

Chapter 3: This love is mine all mine

Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Rating: 18+

Prompt: You go to collect the blood your husband owes you, but now your future is in question

Word count: 4K

Your old marital home now stands as a decaying monument to a dead family, and soon. The tomb of a man whose the source of its rot.

Alongside Miguel, him and you made cover behind the line between grassy hills and the thickly crowded woods beyond your old home. A reddish pink murals the sky above, foretelling the night to come in an hour or two. Your horses hitches tied to stumps as you push your back against a tree. Miguel leans against another casing the area, he was finished reporting how many guards there are.

“I’ll ask a dumb question, you gotta plan?” Miguel inquires, looking down expressionless. You chuckle almost coyly “Of course, kill Thomas, and anyone who tries to stop us.” Miguel shrugged, “fair enough….” The shared silence between you two was sewn in by the gentle beckoning of nearby birds. And the buzzing choir of nearby grasshoppers. It’s the common song you’d hear as dusk began to paint itself along the sky. What you’d look out your window to hear as your day finished.

Now you sit far beyond that same windowsill, gun in hand with a man you barely know. Off to kill the very man you’d slept next to for over ten years. Life brought you strange places. And, without filter or thought to Miguel standing right beside you. You confessed as if just to yourself alone.

“It wasn’t always like this….”

Miguel looked down, he placed his gun on the floor. As she planted himself on the dirt beside you, eye to eye. “What do you mean?” He asked, only to let you know he was listening.

“When I first meet my husband I saw him giving candy to a kid outside a library. Where he’d work on his sketches and his art. He was sweet, full of life. He’d call me darling, make portraits of me and things I liked, fantasized all day and every day of who our child would be….there were good times…not good enough to stop me from doing what I came here to do. But enough for me to be sad about it. I wish I could just kill him and the good memories we have together. So it’ll be easier, but I know I can’t.” Miguel’s eyes trailed along the image you painted before him. Your tone and the words flew through his own memories, his own life. He had nothing but familiarity with what you were feeling.

He’s been there before many times, and, even if unconsciously. Knows he’s here because he doesn’t wish someone exactly like him to face that road alone. Even if he can’t alter where it ends, and what that path entails. He’ll still be here. He will comfort you with the words he wished he heard long ago.

“I understand, it’s not easy…what’s necessary for your heart isn’t always what’s right. But it has to be done….”

His logic alluded you, “What does that mean?” You asked, sounding more confrontational than you intended to be.

“It means Thomas isn’t going to leave this place alive, and not anyone else who decides to protect him. But part of you will never stop lovin him, maybe you need to kill him now. To protect who he once was along ago….” He read you like a book, and it pisses you off.

As much as you despise Thomas for the abuse, the neglect, and being a piece of shit in general. You know a part of his soul can be good, and is good. He’s capable of more he just chooses, this instead. What hurts worse is he decided you weren’t worth being good for. You don’t know when or how, but he did. That’s why you’re here, and why Mona is dead.

Miguel hit head the nail on the head, you swallowed your knee jerk insect to cry nodding, “yeah, yeah…” Miguel hopes he helped.

~~A couple hours later~~

Once Miguel had finished watching over you as you napped, he shook your shoulder tenderly. A wordless exchange happened as you both locked eyes. You make sure your gun was loaded and ready. While you two dashed down the hills under the cover of darkness.

Hiding behind a pair of overgrown bushes in the neglected garden of your former home. Miguel whispered instructively, “I can see in the darkness…and there’s a silencer in my bag. I can take out the snipers on the roof and the upper level guards. So we can storm in without upper fire.” Based on his red eyes you took his word for it he could see perfectly.

Miguel swallowed, somewhat awkwardly, describing “And I can hear from long distances, I can hear your husbands breathing. He’s in his office now…” now that startled you. How the hell can he hear another human breath from the outside of a three story room several yards away? Your blood began to shake, an instinctive fear of Miguel kicked into your muscles. Straightening your body out of tension, but that doesn’t matter now. Thomas needs to die, and you have the best ally to kill him. So you smothered those anxieties in the cradle, for now.

Planning as you go along, “Good, I know the place by heart. Once you cause a stir out here and clear the top floors. I can sneak in, get him before he can run.” Miguel hums in agreement. A half of a moment after you dig your feet in to silently dash towards a better position in the yellowed garden. Your skin tingles in response to a tender circle of fingers wrapping around your wrist. Miguel stopping you dead in your tracks.

The weak outskirts of the guards’ lights revealed Miguel’s face to you, weighted by concern and something else you don’t quite recognize “Be safe.” He whispered, you smiled, knowing he sees it “No promises.” You playfully peck at his cheek before sneaking off. A ghost of the heat on his face quietly burns on your lips, you love it.

Once you have successfully hidden yourself behind the largest tree in the yard. Miguel sees you nod in his direction. Without fail, you hear a gentle plunder of glass breaking. Not enough to stir the guards attention, however the collapse of a fully grown man did alert them. Inquiring amongst themselves “what was that?”, in the haze of confusion you don’t need a light.

Youve walked these dying gardens, snuck onto this very porch, and moved undetected in these halls for longer than any guard job they’ve had. You knew the second step from the ground to the porch was loose. Making a squeak if you pressed your foot against it, you jumped right over it. Grasping the exact angle of the door that would noisily rub it’s screws in it’s sockets. You simply opted to brush into the space of the opened door from the frame.

Being sure not to trip on the dead guards, hearing more and more men drop to the ground as you made your way up the stairs. The gas lights adorning the walls evenly in space and precise in copied design.

A face you haven’t seen in days passes by you by it’s light, it makes you stop. You look back to study what is Mona’s face. A photo Thomas told you he threw away, perhaps he did. Several crumbled lines split the image, but it’s been carefully undone to a flattened state. And framed, along with what you can now see is a disparate collage of photos of your daughter. You know for a fact these baby blue wrapped walls were empty of any such photos before you were taken.

Seeing her smiling face back at you for the first time in a week, her brown eyes and black hair adorning such a gorgeous grin. It makes your eyes heavy in tears, you took the first photo of her you saw. Frame and all, pocketing it in your bag. Then continued on your mission. It’s not stealing if it was stolen from you first.

And like a rodent in your own home you’re sure to be quick as you are quiet. Using only your toes to cautiously scamper about unnoticed. Peeking around the corner before rushing down the hallway, the commotion Miguel is causing starts to draw more and more attention. So you run faster. Up the last flight of stairs to the floor containing your husbands office.

With a few fresh corpses lining up the balcony on the left wall, you spot your husbands door. A thick mahogany door craved meticulously with images of rosebuds and waterfalls. A design done by none other than Thomas himself. Without thinking you broke down the door’s lock with a shift kick.

Your knee will be sore after bracing against such a weight, but you didn’t care. And you stared down Thomas for the first time in days. Behind his messily organized desk top. His face gets whiter than a ghost, his smoke slips him his shocked expression. Undoubtedly burning the purple rug with its light. Not to mention Mona’s blood cleaned well off his face.

“Wai-wait!” Needless to say you didn’t listen, before he could be done squealing a fake apology. You brush the trigger of your gun back as hard as you could, landing a bullet square in his left shoulder. He goes down like a ton of bricks behind his desk. Trying to latch onto his chair mid-fall, as the furniture in it’s collapse onto his legs bruises him in his failed attempt. He groans in pain, you shift to the left side of his desk. Standing over five feet above the groveling, bleeding man on the floor of his own home.

Before he could even devise a way to run, you rotate your rifle to the wooden butt. And violently crash it into his right ankle. Hearing a snap on impact, he shrieks “FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-“ you then forcefully turn him around to face you. His trademark blue with gold accented suit beamed up to you. Snatching his collar, and just as fast land a punch across his nose.

“St-stop! I’ll give you whatever you want….” You didn’t merit his pleading with a response. You just kept punching, not even bothering to aim. All that mattered was making your knuckles raw with his face. Bloodening your brown and black farm clothes, and your eyes intimate with the sight of his struggle.

This man who took your freedom, your soul, your life, and your child from you. Is reduced to what you know he is; a pathetic wretch of a man. Who saw everyone else as disposable background characters in his life. Even his own wife and child.

But that didn’t matter under the incessant crushing of your left fist. You stopped noticing how little he struggled, the volume of his heavy breath. Eventually he didn’t move at all; you don’t know how long it took.

But eventually; his caved in skull was a bowl for the mushy red soup you made of his face. Everything above his chin was fractured skull or a pool of his own facial features. You couldn’t feel your left hand anymore once you stopped punching him. Your lower body sore from crouching for so long so uncomfortably. You just throw your back to the wall behind his desk. Your legs arching over his own, the purple carpet surrounding you two was choked out by the hue of his insides.

It was over. By the punchline of this cruel joke that’s happened to you, you laugh. Laugh like you hadn’t in years. You could feel snot pouring from your nose, mixing with your husbands blood in a truly gross mess of your face. As the insides of your chest vibrate to accommodate how fucking hilarious the situation is.

For years you spent cowering in this office, squirming in your skin at his presence. And killing him was so easy. Killing everyone who screwed you over all those years with him demanded some help but. Who knew this good guy was in the woods this whole fucking time? So willing to endanger himself again and again and again just to help you. For no ulterior motive whatsoever.

It was so simple, what felt like an labyrinth was really a drive way. And not even understanding why, tears washing away the blood and flush of heat on your checks. The cold, salty water escaping from your eyes cuts through the savagery of your face. Suddenly forgetting how to breath, heaving breath in and out by loads and in short intervals.

Miguel then rushes to your side, perfectly, as his habit of when to arrive is. The hot and silken skin of his hands brush aside your tears with precision, not minding the snot and blood dotted about your face. He palms both of your checks, without a word. Looks you in the eyes and shows you how to breath again. You follow his lead, in with your nose. Count to three, and on three you release out your mouth.

After the rattling of your ribcage in anxiety ceased since Miguel had arrived. He assured “Nobody’s going to hurt you anymore…”

You sob in his arms, you never failed to notice how strong yet soft they appeared. Now you know for certain, he doesn’t care you’re using his clothes as a snot rag to boot. Miguel despite having returned from killing every other person within the property. Is indescribably gentle.

His flesh barely traces your own when he touches you, and touched you only when to clean you up or allowing you to hold onto him. His skins embrace is always soft as snow and barely noticed when it does press onto you. And like the aura of a dying fire is sustaining in its own way.

Your sniffing and sobbing was stifled by Miguel’s clothes, he moved your hair out from where it began to stick on your face. Taking a bandana and wiping off the blood and fluids from under your eyes. Your gazes lock, quieting your own cries for a solid moment. As he wraps his fingers around yours. Guiding you to find the strength back into your step, to pull you up on your feet instructing.

“Come on, let’s go.”

~~back at the homestead~~

Miguel had just finished taking your bloodied clothes to the washing bin. He’s not soft when it comes to human parts by any means. But he couldn’t stop a shiver from entering and exiting spine. When he accidentally touched a piece of your ex husbands brain on the fabric.

You were finishing up washing your face, your eyes dropped down to the bowl of water. Now dirtied by dirt, snot, blood, and your own numb knuckles submerged in it. You bent your head down before mirror that stood above you. As if praying to the very deed you committed hours ago. Yet you could still feel the brush of his office carpet, the scent of his cologne in the air. Your body was in Miguel’s guest room, but your mind was still in his office.

You feel guilty for not having visited your daughters room. It hadn’t even crossed your mind. In fact, only when your husband died has Mona entered your thoughts since when you took that shot from the attic. A precise yet mobile ache swims in your head, your hands are sore, callouses dress your palms, and your very bones by how much you’ve worked your body have been whittled down to twigs.

Its been hours since you resolved to kill Thomas, but your bodies withering tells you it’s been centuries. When you’re done cleaning yourself up, you just sit down on the bed. Everything inside your ribcage is heavy, your gut painfully swirls in on itself above your hips. All you can hear is your daughters laugh, your mothers goodbye, your entire life flash before you.

This is what it’s all lead to; battered and dirtied in a strangers guest room with no where else in the world to go to. All that keeps you going is the seemingly infinite kindness of a handsome stranger Miguel.

But, like a glimmer of a spark against metal; a burn erupts in your chest. It’s heat is send to your brain, and the following revelation is born.

Your whole life you’ve lived off of guilt. You married Thomas out of shame of what you’d done to his father for the life and luxuries you were afforded. You stayed out of regret for the father you gave Mona and had to stay by her side to endure it with her. And every day for over ten years you’ve not walked a step without the weight of it all almost breaking your shoulders.

Even now as Thomas’s blood pollutes the water bowl before you. His death isn’t what you truly desired either; just the release of anger the killing would bring you. What, who you truly want. Is washing dishes now downstairs; you hair the water flush into the tub as he scraps away anxiously at what’s left on the plates. You’re going to take a shot in the dark; for once in your life you will just be who you want to be.

You break your feet into the steps leading down into the kitchen with utmost care. Not concealing your presence but absentmindedly seeking to not make a racket. As you stroll into the scene of Miguel’s towering frame over the kitchen counter.

You can’t deny your attraction to him, not just physically. He’s gentle, kind, full of wisdom and a humorless awkwardness to him you can’t help but find endearing. He reminded you of Thomas in a lot of ways, and that’s what scares you now.

The trembling in your chest is pattern recognition kicking in, was a dashing and kind man comes into your life. Gives you everything you want and need for seemingly no ulterior motive. But now you’re here because Thomas changed, or maybe he wasn’t who you thought he was from the beginning. Little evidence suggests this will be any different. But you’re tired of living in the past. You will start again as many times as it takes to leave it.

By now you’ve crossed the entirety of the room, you stand right beside this six foot finely sculpted man. Lost in his own thoughts it takes him a moment to realize how close you are. He isn’t startled and just looks down at you, now washed up from before. This is the most socially receptive he’s witnessed from you from the past few hours. Understandably so of course, his gaze softens as he peers down asking.

“Getting hungry-“ he washes off his hands with a cloth and goes on “I can hunt us some fowl quickly and…” before he allows himself to finish his own sentence. Your fingers softly blanket themselves over his own; he dwarfs you even when it comes to hands. He’s puzzled and waits for what you’ll do next.

“I want you.” A heartbeat of Miguel’s passes so he could be certain what he heard was right. He’s startled, and tries to ask a question he already knows the answer to “….what are you talking about?” He’s lack of pulling away or resisting your touch. Lends you to lean in closer, to push your body over his own.

You’re so much shorter than him your chest makes it just at the half way point of his own chest. You can feel his heart racing against your skins. Meanwhile your fingers sew tighter together as you explain. “I’ve wanted you since the moment we’ve meet, and every hour after. I’m tired of mourning what was, I want something more…if you’d have me-“before anxiety of the leap you took pulls you away from him.

His hand arcs against your face, to ensure you look at him right. “You don’t have to want this, you can say no. I won’t throw you out onto the street, I didn’t do all of this so you’d sleep with me.” He’s such a gentleman. You decide to ease his anxieties and breath out inches from his face, as you stand on your toes.

“And that’s the kind of man I want….please take me Miguel-“ one subdued gasp from him later and his mouth was all over yours. His large fingers creep from below your shirt grasping at your trapped skin. He instinctively picks you off your feet. By his large muscles you’re not surprised he did such so effortlessly.

You two left a trial of discarded clothes from the kitchen to the quest bedroom.

[auxiliarydetective]

We've done it!

Or, more accurately, you've done it! Thanks to you, my fellow Tumblrinas, I've actually managed to hit 200 followers!

I never thought I would get this far, but I'm eternally grateful for all the love you've given me, and I can't wait to share many more brainrots with you!

In tune with that, I've decided: Why not let you look even further into my mind? I've given you lots of writing, but why not provide some visuals? And so, in thinking about what I wanted to do for my 200 followers celebration, I came up with...

⁕ Evie's Mind Palace Festival! ⁕

(Placing a cut so this doesn't get too long ^^)

As depicted in this lovely graphic above, I'm going to be focusing on my OCs' fashion for this little event. But not just that! I'll get to the bonuses later :)

For now, text version! Because Tumblr likes not loading images and some people may not be able to view the image

↬ Step 1: Pick an OC of your choice! From my OCs, that is. Hope that was clear. Anyone from the list. I'll even throw in a little bonus and say that unintroduced OCs are allowed! That means the ones on this list AND ones I may have rambled to to you in a chat we've had.

↬ Step 2: Pick an occasion prompt! The prompts are as follows:

Casual (aka everyday wear, aka their basic character design or an alternate outfit or it)

Formal

Training/Athletic

Battle (this may overlap with either 1. or 3. for some characters, but let's assume they actually get geared up for battle)

Hot weather (your typical summer clothes)

Cold weather (sweaters, winter coats, you name it)

Swimwear

Canon event (may overlap with some other categories, but I made this a separate thing for the lore opportunities it provides) - Make sure to specify what canon event you want!

Stealing clothes - You can include who the character should steal from in your ask, otherwise I will pick the victim myself.

Holiday-themed - Pick your holiday! Any holiday counts.

Fandombend - Pick your fandom! (This will probably come with some headcanons on what the OC would be like in the new fandom)

Inspired by a song - Please, pick a song! Preferably from the OC's playlist. I should have a playlist for almost every OC. Hop into the "#playlist" tag on my blog to find them and, if they're not posted over there anywhere, tap on any playlist that's there, let it take you to my Spotify profile, and hop into the "Character Playlists" folder!

↬ Step 3: If you want, pick an extra prompt! Your options are:

Historical - Please specify your time frame! You don't necessarily have to, but I tend to be an indecisive little gremlin, so it would make things a little easier if you could pick ^^"

Fantasy (This, of course, makes little sense if the OC is already in a fantasy setting)

Sci-fi (Once again, this makes little sense if the OC is already in a sci-fi setting)

Steampunk

Cultural - Please pick a culture for me to take inspiration from! It doesn't have to be a real-life culture. For example, you could pick Japan for some kimono art or you could pick the Kuja from One Piece!

Color prompt - Pick your color! I ask that you do keep it at one color so that I have some more freedom, and I won't take specific hex codes either because those specific hex codes might clash with the OC's color palette

Prompt of your choice - This can be literally anything! Yes, also an occasion, in which case it would replace your original occasion prompt. I just didn't have the space to add in all occasions known to man, so if you have another idea, this is where to put it.

↬ Step 4: Send your ask! Done!

Once you've sent your ask, please keep in mind that it might take me a while to answer it. I'll then make a collage/moodboard and get the ask posted. Maybe, I'll also draw your prompt, depending on if I have the energy and/or time for it. If I plan on doing that, I'll let you know in the post and tag you once I have the drawing finished! I may also be swayed into adding a little fic snippet to the answer, if I do feel so inclined. Maybe a song to match the vibes? It'll be a little surprise!

► Rules:

Be nice! It's not hard, and it's basically all I ask.

This is the one time you might not want to shower me in asks because these asks might take a bit to answer. I'm not putting a cap on how many asks per person you're allowed to send, just maybe be mindful of how long they take to answer and space them out over the time of the event.

I'll be accepting asks from the time that this is posted until March 17th. The event ends with the strike of midnight starting the next day. Whenever that may be in your time zone. As long as it's still 23:59 on March 17th somewhere around the world, send in your ask. I might also extend the event if asks keep coming in and I have the energy to keep going.

↬ Additional info for mutuals: You get to ask for crossovers! Just pick one of my OCs and one of yours and I'll try my best to draw them. I might bother you for references though, so be prepared! It doesn't matter how long we've been mutuals for! It could've been five minutes, you're still allowed to send in crossover asks. As long as we're mutuals, let's say, at the time that the ask is answered, it's all good. In practice, that means that you just need to be following me to be able to send in a crossover request. If you ask nicely and maybe say something about why you'd think why our two children would go well together and we share a fandom, it's very unlikely that I'll deny your request and won't follow you back.

Also, if you've ever wanted to say something about my OCs and/or me and my blog, this might be the perfect time for you to do it.

Okay, that's it for now! Love you, everyone! Here's to more fandom-y shenanigans!

Also, behold my new non-OC post divider! It features a lineart sketch of my blog icon in the middle! The icon was designed by @benevolenterrancy pretty much exactly two years ago when they realized my old icon was not, in fact, a unicorn. I still go full-on heart-eyes mode whenever I see my icon, so I figured it was time to remind everyone of the amazing artist that created it <3

Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @fluffle-system @wheresmybloodynauglamir @supermarine-silvally @nanukanal @cody-helix02 (I believe this is the first time I've ever used my full taglist, aka the basic taglist plus everyone from fandom-specific taglists - wowie!) - Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed, for specific fandoms or the general list!

[thelureking]

LILIUM'S 2023 GAME RECOMMENDATIONS:

Hey! Better late than never! I actually have been editing this list since november, but I lost some of the things I said about the last games and it took me this long to remember what I had written. The risks I run because my mind flows better when I write with pen and paper. So, seeing how well the last list did on my memory, and because I got bored of talking to myself, I shall torture the unlucky ones who have found this post with both my video game taste and my rambles about them. I am so sorry in advance.

It's the same as before: they are ordered chronologically, from first played/finished to last, not ranked in how much I liked them. If I dont say a lot its not because I didn't like it, or that it was bad. At times I didn't want to give too much away. This time I tried to write each segment right after finishing them, or the following days, so that's why I talk way more or in more detail about each game and my own opinions. And who knows, maybe this will be a yearly thing. I like it, I'm Having fun. And hopefully some of these games get the love they deserve by whoever reads this.

So, once again, and now with more words:

1) Mothmen 1966

Mothmen being in the title was enough for me to give it a go, so it's good to say that the game is also good. It is divided by chapters, each one from the perspective of one of our three protagonists, showing the perspective of these vastly different people even if they are connected in some way. The game goes from a visual novel style to changing the gameplay to be interactive while also maintaining its format, something that I found entertaining. Its visuals are a treat, and I believe they enhance the horror presented in the story. All of the parts in this game work in its favor. I cannot believe I am actually saying this, but to get an achievement you need to take an L. I am not joking. It is part of a puzzle and me being good at it made me miss an achievement. No hard feelings, I had a good laugh about it as I was going back to the save file and doing it again. Sometimes, sucking is the way to go. I may have spent way too much time trying to win the Impossible Solitaire. But I will, one day, you'll see.

2) Roadwarden

You know a game is good when I play it for hours uninterrupted and is the main reason I turn on the computer.

Roadwarden is, as the title image says, an illustrated text based RPG, in which you take the role of a Roadwarden who is tasked to explore an unknown peninsula to expand a merchant's guild's influence, establish its safety, and find out what happened to the missing previous roadwarden.

Let me tell you, this game is amazing from both a mechanical and storytelling level. Mechanically because the game keeps track of so many things, it will remember even an answer you gave at the very beginning, and it'll become an integral part of your character. Even little thoughts as you are about to sleep will shape who you are playing as. On the story telling level, so many of the quests and towns are interlinked that holding back on finishing certain quests is the way to go, although in some cases having as many done as possible will no doubt help. The characters and towns are all unique and memorable, each with history that shapes them and how they interact with each other and you, the outsider. Both gameplay and story service each other to present an experience unlike any other, enhancing each other at every opportunity. The art and soundtrack set the perfect atmosphere for each moment. And the world building. Man, the world building, it's just. So well done, you actually believe this is a real place that existed before you arrived, and that it will continue to do so after you leave. It wasn't waiting for you, it did not kick into gear just because you showed up. It has its own issues, its own history, its own people, nature, culture, and you can feel that with each written word, each piece of information. I can't even explain properly just how good the world building is.

I just really fell in love with being a guy on the road taking care of these settlements' problems, getting to know their inhabitants and gaining their trust, all while falling in love with the game. There is one quest that I do not want to spoil, but the ending was so. Fitting, in a way, that I was surprised I didn't see it coming. Even as I saw the achievement name once I completed it, I looked back and just. I just smiled like damn, good job.

If you want to really take in this entire world and its people, I would personally recommend playing in Casual, since any other difficulty setting will put a limit to the days you'll be allowed to stay, and I must stress that this experience must not be rushed. Unless you dont mind a time challenge, in which case you do you. Also don't know about your memory, but I needed to take notes, and some highlights are: "Efren marry me", "We should have all stabbed Thais full Julius Caesar style", "Eudica and Efren my beloveds" and "Thyrsus is my Warlock Uncle". With that being said, the Journal mechanic is a god sent, and I can't be more grateful that it exists. Finally, a journal that doesn't get stuck in the first sentences of a quest from when you first got it.

Oh boy, those are a lot of words. Can you tell I really liked this game? I can't wait to see more from this developer.

EDIT: THE GAME HAS RECEIVED A HUGE UPDATE THAT I HAVE YET TO PLAY, BUT OH BOY IT'S MAKING ME WANT TO REPLAY THE ENTIRE GAME AGAIN.

3) Exhibit of Sorrows

A short game set in a clown exhibit, with a point - click and drag gameplay. I'll keep this one short, since this game can be played for free in both browser and for download in Itchio, and it is a neat little thing that you can beat as fast or as slow as you want. You interact with each exhibit, clicking and dragging the mouse depending on what you need to do, each with a little buddy that you need to help or have fun with to get the key, and proceed to the next screen. Its length and artstyle make for a fun and interesting experience, pacing itself beautifully. It is effective in every way. And come on, they are clowns, they are so cute and look like plushies. I love them all.

4) The Firebrand

A game about a detective interrogating a woman with different word prompts that he writes down in his notebook, all which branch into more questions and answers. You'll uncover the story and the truth of this conversation as you play along, finding out stuff about the woman, the detective, and even the world they live in. It is an interrogation against a clock that keeps on ticking, and luckily the developers give us the chance to check out a dialogue tree and how to get both the Normal and True Ending. With that in mind, the questions that don't lead to either of these are worth reading, as they serve to paint a bigger picture. And hey, you can also get the Bad Ending while you do it.

5) Royal Alchemist

Royal Alchemist is a visual novel in which you, the protagonist, are tasked with tutoring the three princes of a nation. You will fight for your life against the challenges this new position presents and also the stat checks you will have to pass at different points of the story, both of your character and the princes. Speaking of, each one of them represents a different route, with their recommended order (which I highly request following as stated by the creators: Aurelius, then Serin, and finally Nazir. Trust me, they were made to be experienced like this, you wont regret it). You will experience the constant back and forth, the battle of swords and wits with Aurelius, the emotional build up with Serin, and to describe the main appeal of Nazir's route before playing it would be a spoiler. The romance in this VN is some of the best I've experienced. I have never read about two characters holding hands in such an intimate way, it made the pure build up of a route worth every second. And the Princes aren't the only interesting characters, this visual novel is full of fun and complex characters, all with their own personalities and roles. From Raphael, the butler who might as well be the patron saint of patience, to Viola, the infamous head merchant. It has a mechanic of stat raising and, as stated before, there will be points in the story where you will need to reach a certain level of a skill to be able to pass. But don't worry, there is an official guide made by the developers which is a life saver, which not only has each stat requirement for each route, but also with neat additions like character profiles and more. The only criticism I'll give it is that some scenes are cut short when they could have been expanded on and it would have had a better effect, not only in terms of an emotional connection, but also to further enforce the bond between the player and the relationship developed in the route. But besides that small complaint, this visual novel is one I would gladly recommend.

6) Fear & Hunger

God, this game. This game hates you on a mechanical level. This game will put the fear of god in you every time you get further away from a save point, every time you think "yeah I can take this enemy no problem" and next thing you know you are eating dinner with your creator; every time you think "oh neat, a new area" and proceed to eat shit and die for the next hour because you just lost a fucking arm and a leg and can't outrun your enemies anymore. And you refuse to start another run because you are just that stubborn, and you will suffer through the consequences of your early game actions. No this is not my personal experience what are you talking about. It is a bleak and grotesque horror rpg game, made with RPG Maker. You will accompany whichever poor soul you choose as your playable character in their trip to the dungeon of Fear and Hunger, for whichever the reason their story presents. Should you play this game? Be mindful of the triggering content, first and foremost. This is a dark game, and it does not shy away from depicting it. From enemy designs, gameplay mechanics, to the way of worshiping gods, to specific game overs, and so on. Its hard and you will feel it unfair. This game will not hold your hand, and when you think it does it will put its teeth around your wrist and tear it off your body, its saliva infecting your wound with poison and leaving you to rot. I love this game.

7) Clash: Robot Detective

Fun fact: I never look into games that much before playing them, which in this case led to the asssumption that I was going to play a robot. So I named my character Flesh, because I thought a robot named Flesh was funny and also cool. Turns out, I ended up playing a human named Flesh. Which was somehow even funnier, and ended up becoming a pattern when I played the extras, which have a different protagonist, and I decided to commit to the bit and named them Blood. Flesh and Blood, my favourite human beings.

You play as the extremely new assistant to our titular detective Clash, who asks for your help in solving a mystery taking place in the cruise ship you are vacationing on. Depending on the different dialogue options, you can play as the good or the bad cop, and Clash will balance you out in this act, which leads to different and interesting outcomes.

I have to say, the artstyle drew me in. I am a sucker for these types of illustrations, and I'm glad that the writing and story were as good. I was invested not only in the case, but also on Clash as a character, who I will longingly stare at from a distance because I respect his boundaries and preferences.

Keep on going, you majestic robot detective, I can't wait to see what kind of trouble you get into in the future.

8) EXCUSE ME SIR (Demo)

Long awaited (at least for me) DEMO from Airdoft (creator of FAITH) and , and it all came about because of her videos and a single tweet.

The demo is short, but it shows the great potential of what a game like this could grow into, and I cant wait to see it become a finished project.

EDIT: Sadly, the game has been canceled, so we won't be able to see this concept grow into a finished game. Hopefully it'll inspire others with its style and presentation.

9) (Don't) Open Your Eyes

In this room, you know how everything looks. Does that include your midnight intruder?

This entire VN is a one sided conversation between you and something that may or may not be there, shaped in the darkness of your closed eyelids. Both of you are gripped by the same question, the intrigue eats away at you. Your imagination runs wild trying to give shape to this anomaly, and it is so desperate for you to find out.

There is only one way to do so:

Don't open your eyes.

10) Fortress

Man, short and effective is the way to describe this one. It has such a fantastic grip on atmosphere and tension that I admire. It truly captures the feeling of returning to a place where an impactful childhood memory took place.

Using the same location and making you play through it at different times of the story was done so well. I was ready for things to happen just because they did in the past, the first half of the game, and expected them to happen again.

In the past, I was ready to shoot on sight. As an adult, I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger, not even to see if I could. I don't know why, months after playing it, this little thing has stuck with me the most.

11) The Shadows That Run Alongside Our Car

You leave the gas station with a stranger, either on the wheel or sitting next to you. The silence hangs heavy between you two, the road is empty, the sun is setting, and the end of the world is now. Time to break the silence, you get to choose who. In this visual novel you get to decide how this conversation at the end of the world unfolds, a game of perspective between our two characters, who may hide certain details about themselves or reveal them, if they give you the choice. After all, what would you gain by hiding a secret in this car ride? It could be your last.

12) Attack of the Murder Hornets

Hornets are evil, evil things of nature. They are coming for your bees.

They are coming for you.

BE READY

13) Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition (+ Siege of Dragon Spear)

There has to be a saying that goes: If you can't play the game everyone is talking about, go play every single game in it's series that came before it. Because that's what I did, even if I already wanted to play the Baldur's Gate games before the third one came around. But it was definitely a good push. The game's story has a much smaller scope than I expected, or maybe that's just how I feel now that I am currently playing the second game, but I think it works in its favor.

I think the reason I don't have much to say, besides the fact that I had lots of fun, is because my head is still processing Siege of Dragon Spear (with its much bigger scope) and what I am currently seeing in the second game. What all I'll say about that one now is man, what a way to start a sequel.

My suffering came mostly from the ruleset used (which I was unfamiliar with) and the fucking paralysis spell. Fuck it. ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE PARALYSIS SPELL.

In terms of characters, I didn't end up using most of the available NPCs in my party, even if I made the effort of recruiting them all, mostly because the ones I had I liked a lot. I liked Rasaad and I was pleasantly surprised he had a romance in the expansion AND the second game, which I am enjoying a lot. Jaheira and Khalid never left my party, same with Imoen who I kept treating like a sister because come on, the setup of being raised in the same city since birth and being childhood friends was perfect. I love Baeloth an unhealthy amount, he is so perfect in the expansion I made an effort to keep him in the party even if I had high reputation. In the expansion my party was insane looking. Like Oh yes, the Hero of Baldur's Gate, her monk companion Rasaad, Jaheira and... a gnome nobody knows why he is around, Baeloth the entertainer I guess, and a GOBLIN? At one point I did switch Jaheira for Viconia, only because Baeloth was one point of reputation away from leaving the party. I swear, the grip that man has on me. The story from Viconia's POV must be so funny: She gets recruited and instantly tells me she is fucking off, gets recruited again only because I dont want an idiot entertainer to leave; and then when she is about to be killed, who comes to her rescue? THIS DUMBASS. She must be like: GOD, DAMN IT, I CAN'T ESCAPE THIS BITCH. I am her surface curse.

My closing thought for this game is: Whoever made the TOSC maze... Who the fuck hurt you? Same goes for whoever made that final boss. WHY?!

[eobardthawneallen]

hii quick question what was your reaction when you saw dosd ?:))

Oh, that's a quick question to make not to answer because you have activated my trap card >:3 Favorite movie question, where I answer all the ways that I can to that question and I choose to not notice if I'm being annoying while explaining my love (*lying*, that's why I made a short version to answer this, to avoid annoying).

Short version:

Amazed to find out its existence, still amazed from start to finish.

Got obsessed with Seto Kaiba's obsession to get his bf back to life and marrying him💕

All this time yu gi oh! was teaching us, about heart, about dedication, and about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. (I thought this twice in the movie)

for some unknown reason to me some people think or thought at the moment that at the end Kaiba time traveled, but I'm on team dimension traveled (come on, it's on the name of the movie)

And I've analyzed this movie so many times and I'll keep doing it, I love DSOD so much, fav movie, my shipper heart can't and won't let it go💕

Long Version:

warning I can and will explain why I loved this movie divided on scenes (mostly in order) on this version and feel free to picture me like the image below

So I was away of the fandom, then re entered around when the movie came out, I didn't re join for the movie, I had just rejoined and was searching the tags when found out a screenshot or gifset from the hologram duel in the movie, and I was like "this is so beautiful! where is this from?!" then found the movie.

The reaction to the actual movie was me squeeing, loving the style, I found my love for Takahiro Kagami way to draw the characters and love that Kazuki Takahashi himself had worked on the movie directly, also love the palette colors, the plot. everything in that movie is a work of art and I've and will continue analyzing it forever.

replaced the bbt movie as the best ygo movie, and also replaced whichever I had on 1st place in general as my favorite movie (still is)

I love so much the plot and how they took it as continuation for the manga, because it was so unfair for Seto to be negated the last moments of seeing Atem on earth then.

and as I said in my short answer, I got obsessed with Seto's steps of grief.

how the duel with the I.A Atem was in a church scenery, he is so in love with him and wanted to marry him the faster he could.

I know now that it can also be read as in "Is in a church so it can also be the part of him giving a funeral to Atem" but fuck it, this is about my 1st reaction and also I can prove that can also means what I 1st thought and was that Kaiba was practicing for his wedding duel.

we'll go back to this a bit later.

squeed again when Seto talked about how much he worked on the I.A to be a good copy.

loved that the I.A got gold arm bracelets, so lovely, and oh boy (gn), when the scene of Jonouchi is saved by Atem I was like "!!!! ATEM HAS THE GOLD ARM BRACELETS! HE'S BEEN WATCHING SETO AND APPROVES THE CLOTHES!!!" (or maybe he was just using the I.A to save Jonouchi or was the I.A itself? however my first thought and the one I keep thinking is the real answer is the one on Caps)

now let's talk about finding the puzzle pieces scene and Diva using his dimension powers to banish people and how Seto avoided it with tech, I went 🥰 "yeah! boy you got this!" and also yelled because that moment pointed Seto's plan to bring back Atem.

the miracle! oh god, I cried, the battle city tournament memories of their souls crossing, oh boi (gn), their souls crossed again 😭💕 they were so connected.

"Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day." (ghost facers, supernatural 03x13)

let's continue, loved the tournament to get the puzzle complete again, I was alone watching this but I pointed to the duel disks and I was like holy shit is a wedding ring! is a ring for Atem!

allow me to explain myself, he made just 2 duel disks and they're themed with their colors combined (the black of Atem and the blue of Kaiba for his own disk, the white of Kaiba and the pink of Atem for the other), he gives it to Yugi because that's the vessel, but the disks as shown in the getting the puzzle pieces scene has the power to stabilize the person to the dimension that currently is. Seto planed to bring Atem with the puzzle but keep him on earth with the duel disk! the guy is so in love and I love him for it.

in love with self sacrifice Seto for Atem to be back again in the duel vs Diva, I cried there too, and specially because he was right.

again we're reminded that "Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day." (ghost facers, supernatural 03x13)

and the end using the dimension canon and arriving to his bf resting place was *chef kiss* 🥰💕✨ go for him and bring his ass back!

later found transcend game manga and just made me love the movie even more 😭💕

I have seen this movie in 3 languages:

1st on Eng dub, didn't grow with it but they did a good job, I loved it :)

2ndly on Jap with subs, loved it more, Atem's voice in the "will see about that" phrase 🥰💕💕💕💕💕💕💕, Seto's voice in the is not a monster is a God , uff hot.

3rdly in Lat. Spanish, sadly not with all the original voice actors, since the ones that were in charge to dub it didn't ask correctly the voice actors for their help 😭, still did a good job to dub

now I wait for a possibly 30 year anniversary movie and see how they talk about Yugi's or Atem's hair, haha 2 years to see if it happens (bbt is for the 10, dsod for 20... is too delusional to hope for a 30 anniversary movie? imo it's fine)

and that's all, in conclusion:

I love this movie so much and I won't stop loving it. 100/10! 💕💕💕💕💕💕✨✨✨✨✨

[lyannatropes]

I know some people just like instead of reblogging because of other platforms they're on or treating likes like bookmarks. But I've always treated it like the degree to which I like it - I can like a concept but not really be into the execution or vice versa, or the art can look great but I 'don't go here' or just like it but not enough to have it on my blog. I 100% get why it would bother artists but everyone's reasons are their own and it's just one of those things. I had a piece that had a couple hundred notes (not a huge amount but exciting for a beginner like me) but most of those are likes. It felt mixed because it's a shame not many people wanted it on their blog but at the same time I was still pretty happy people still liked it to hit like in the first place rather than scroll past altogether. That still meant something to me that someone acknowledged it at all!

Yeah, those are all very understandable reasons! I know for me for example I'd rather share finished pieces vs wips, mostly because of the "wips always get liked more than finished art" curse which I know can be a bummer after spending hours and hours on a piece. And of course the matter of taste always makes sense.

Platforms that turned liking the norm and sharing/commenting the exception kinda ruined the social media experience for me. As you said, likes are great and I am also grateful people took the time to leave a little heart. That being said, I think we should start acknowledging that especially in this era of shitty GenAI images if we do not share the art, then it will never find its audience. We're going to let the garbage fester and fill every online place, while amazing art and artists are going to be left behind. Sharing something is the equivalent of word of mouth, and the easiest way to let others find something you enjoyed. Personally it is comments that usually make my day, as that feels like the best form of interaction and acknowledgement I can get.

I don't know, I feel like maybe we should overthink less, and that now more than ever we need to be vocal about the stuff we like if we want our favourite artists and artworks to survive this hellscape. Now more than ever we need positive interactions to keep going.

[jinxxedmisery]

Well hello there~

info and a long ramble about this and why this exists under the cut if you're interested

So.. I'm experiencing the most intense obsession with a fictional character I've ever experienced in my entire life..

I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 two weeks ago.. why did I pick it up? Because I saw a clip of that scene where Tav kills him by shooting that lazer and dropping a building on him, and the dialog after you get Withers to bring him back.. you know.. "Somewhere between a nice summer's day and THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN" and I was like.. daaaamn who is this character and why does his VA sound so damn passionate? So I bought it...

And I have clocked well over 100 hours in game now and it's safe to say I'm completely, hopelessly obsessed with this game. Now...

Onto the actual explanation of this piece

The idea for this art piece came from right after his first sex scene with Tav (the only one I've seen as of yet... and um.. like damn... DAMN) when he stands in the sunlight and you see his scars on his back for the first time.. The moment I saw that, the gears in my head started turning and I imagined big huge angel wings on him... then.. um.. well.. I heard a song which brought that image back into my mind.. (Helios by the Crüxshadows.. It's good go listen to it!) which yes.. music is a huge part of my creative process most of the time.. My imagination can run wild when listening to some songs not certain why.

But anyway.. Astarion with big ass angel wings was born.... and I'm probably going to go in and paint it with watercolors and pray that I don't hopelessly fuck it up.. If I don't, I'll post the finished piece when I'm done.. (really wish I had metallic watercolors.. I feel like gold paint on the halo and maybe the scars would add a lot to this tbh)

I guess the unofficial title of this piece is:

Helios ☀️

Side note... I think I gave him too much ass... (as if that's a bad thing lmao)

He really puts the ass in Astarion... Ok.. Ok I'll stop 😅

[aurosoulart]

I think the issue with using ai art is, would you treat work from your contemporaries/online peers the same way? Using their own art pieces as reference or for paint overs? Because I get referencing old historical works or well known industry professionals, but it feels different when Joe-shmoe's digital art gets shoved into an ai art machine, without permission and all while Joe's art can barely get any attention as is. That's just how I view it

I think this is the best way to think about these generators as they are in their current state, and is a great explanation.

I do reference other art from contemporary artists, but I always try to take inspiration from multiple sources and to combine the things I’m referencing into something new. this is considered common practice in the professional art sphere, as long as the end result is a transformative work and isn’t directly copying anyone’s IP

for AI image generators, I try to use ones that are bad at making clear pictures, so I still have to do most of the work. I also try to further change whatever got generated by cutting parts of it up, changing the composition, and changing colors. I use them mostly as a very rough sketch, and let my brain imagine details from the (usually nonsense) shapes made by the AI - like I was trying to find shapes in clouds

you’re correct that I wouldn’t take this approach to someone else’s finished artwork, though (pasting it directly into my canvas and rearranging it), which makes me rethink how I use these images… maybe using them as a rough reference for composition and color is OK, but paint-overs are less so!

thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. it’s changed my perspective, which is why I wanted to talk about AI in the first place!

[jnixz]

Thank the pn2 vol.3 album art for reigniting my mood to finish this piece, drawn In the early days I saw that early pn2 concept poster art.

Man just gotta wonder what the plot was like with the old designs they had....

Old overworld hub designs -- specifically old motherlobe and quarry map design, the ones we see in DF youtube as pn2 was being made

also that vehicle thing, wonder if that’s like the canoe or if it can dive into a deeper part of the lake

Sasha and Milla off on a mission on a cold location, with what looks like a spear/harpoon/maybe detector thing? Looks like they’ve been there for a while

Morry with a spooky well, which honestly gave me that necromancy plot when I first saw the poster after the trailer is nudging about that topic

Ford (notably w/o psitanium on his back) riding off without a saddle on a horse with an explosion going off behind him (at least the album version has reigns now, the concept art one didn’t have it. Anyway back then I squinted so much at the image to figure out what outfit he was wearing only to find the clearer image of this didn’t really have any detail at all so like ‘what is going ooonnnn with this part’)

Lili behind Raz who doesn’t have a cool jacket but with a blue swirl(most likely hinting at hydrokinesis part of the ~ mystery~ )

and then the Spooky buildings with brain on it so is that a psychonauts owned location?

 and what looks like *squints* a spaceship? blasting at the entrance?(Could be real, could be owned by opposing organizations, could be a mindscape thing... possibilities possibilities) OR WAIT is that a sled thing blasting out from the entrance?

also that constellation lookin swirls on the spooky clouds, i see you *looks at aquato fancier clothing*

One wonders if this had more overworld exploration/settings to travel to in the jet like Lady Lucktopus mission, or if its just other characters off doing things. I can see the question of “but why would Raz accompany them” or “how would Raz witness these events happening to other characters as our player POV” or even the simple question of how long these events happen from each other because boi Sasha got a stubble

[passiveagressiveukulele]

A slice of cheese anyone?

And so I complete the BA Film course on a random Wednesday afternoon, with Taylor Swift and Dubioza Kolektiv quotes embedded in my final submission. Rodney Copperbottom made it - in a foreign country, chasing her dream, she made her parents proud. Despite wanting to give up many a times, she finished what she started.

So I thought I'd put a lil reflection on my filmmaking journey so far. Strap in - cheese incoming.

I started this course in the midst of the pandemic, arguably the worst time to start anything, but if I had one thing going for me it was that my filmmaking journey began when I was 11. At the time, I had a vision for myself becoming a comedy director, but with each film I made I was moving further and further away from the path I chose. Having spent my high school years engrossed in film books, video essays and trialling various filmmaking approaches, by the time I started my undergraduate degree, I wanted to break as many rules as possible.

The summer before I started university, I attended a ten-day experimental film seminar in Croatia and fell in love with the avant-garde techniques. Retrospectively I understand why I was instantly drawn to these alternative processes - the reason I got into filmmaking in the first place was because I couldn’t choose one single creative medium to devote to. I saw film as a perfect amalgamation of my various interests – collaging, photographing, performing, and writing. I thought these were the essence of drama (their counterparts being editing, shooting, acting and screenwriting), but after I dipped my toes into experimental film, I realised they were more akin to artist films, as there they exist in their original form – different media mixed into an audio-visual experience. 

Throughout mu degree I struggled to understand where I fit in, at times doubting film school was the right choice for and thinking maybe I should have gone to art school, where my inter-media aspirations would be better accepted. However, when I discovered documentary film, pieces started falling into place. Documentary film was the middle ground between abstraction and narrative, and as such, allowed me to put both the drama skills, and artistic techniques to use within one medium.

By the end of second year of my studies I realised my storytelling strengths lie with camerawork and editing, so I chose to specialise in those departments. I wanted to come out of this degree with technical knowledge that would allow me to get into the industry, but also stand on my own two feet as a freelancer. I wanted to master a craft that I could pursue as my daytime job, so that I can still devote myself to experimentation and personal filmmaking on the side. 

Now, at the end of my undergraduate course, I’m leaning towards editing more than anything. Throughout my education, I always enjoyed essay writing and I find that the academic research and writing are very akin to editing films, especially documentaries. Editing connects all my plans and aspirations after graduating - looking for jobs in post houses, applying for masters by research courses and developing documentary ideas. Through a process of elimination, I think I finally came to understand what made me fall in love with filmmaking – cutting and pasting, reshaping and reinventing what’s already there in an attempt to tell a brand-new story, one we equally have and haven’t seen before. 

Leaving uni is daunting because I feel like I finally figured it out - all the pieces fell into place and if I just had one more year I'd be able to make something I was really really proud of. But equally so, I think I'm already there, I just haven't noticed it until now. Oj, tato is the culmination of everything I have been naturally gravitating towards these past 4 years - my love for factual narratives, the need to distort and reflect images, collage them together and lay them against Tom Macfadyen's too good for this world score. This grad film was all I ever wanted and more - all I ever wanted was an all female crew, and what I got was the most gut-wrenching, soul fulfilling, emotional rollercoaster. Film aside, the four of us made some memories I will fondly replay in my old age (if dementia skips a generation).

And so, on a random Wednesday afternoon I abandon this project - because a work of art is never finished, only left behind - as it is time I return to all the unfinished films patiently awaiting my return. Eva's experimental kitchen is back in business baby!

Stay tuned for the updates from this weekend because what follows is only the best weekend of the year - it's Alchemy Film and Arts Festival baby!!! Hawick calls, and I must answer.