#maybe well have a flashback
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So how’s ride kamens going for you as I just pulled my self together long enough to read the other half of the current main story
I've been working on catching up on the event stories since they announced the upcoming main story update! (I totally bombed the last few events...they're so fast-paced and I just didn't have time...😭)
and then of course they went and dropped THIS on us today
(you don't understand, I LOVE Tajador and I already love the two blurry frames they've given us of non-silhouetted Kelka, I'm ready to absolutely lose my shit come the announcement/reveal(?) stream on Thursday --)
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#october is officially NEW BOY MONTH#month of BOYS#i had suspected we were going to be getting some new guys eventually because. well. gacha.#but it's HAPPENING and oh my WHAT a strong start#me checking twitter and immediately turning into the beyonce meme: TAJADOR?!#hold on i'm contractually obligated to do the jingle#🎶 TAAAAAAJAAAAAAADOOOOORU 🎶#flashback to during the initial run of reveals when my sister was guessing ankh for every one because 'eventually it'll be right'#i can't believe it came true. i'm so happy#ugh i need to either grind out more seals for keys or see if anyone's uploaded the stories#i mean it's prooooobably not necessary to understand the main story but. i want to be fully prepared.#and i'm still a little salty about missing out on both birthday agata AND radical rollerbladin' araki#how dare they do this to me when i have DEADLINES >:(#...anyway get hype for part 2!!!!!#i hope we get powerup forms! just pile more stuff on top of these guys and watch them gently topple over#i still think leon should be allowed to henshin but. y'know. maybe as a big finale.#he will save us with the power of friendship and fresh-baked cookies
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Shadowhunters 1x12 Malec
#shadowhunters#shadowhuntersedit#shedit#magnus bane#clary fray#s1#1.12#mine#giffing this in honor of recently having had this exact conversation with my colleague#well not exact tbf he wanted gin not cocktails#but me going ''it's nine??'' and him going ''it's happy hour somewhere'' was flashback worthy enough#me at work: 400kb for a gif??? isn't that a bit much??#me making gifs for tumblr dot org: oh 9.9 mb perfect#funnily enough that work convo happens with the same colleague#anyway!!! i couldn't remember what font i'd use for these kind of gifs for the life of me so. maybe it was this. maybe it wasn't.#200
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THE PRINCES OF THE NORTH!
i thought my little moshang kid could benefit from a baby brother
#svsss#moshang#xuejiao: i did not want a brother >:( MBJ: well we didn't ask you did we#baby tiehan got sqh's height and talkativeness and general nervous vibe. but hes for SURE half demon#loooves fighting and weaponry. MBJ took him along to all of his military campaigns when he was a kid. hes the northern armys little mascot#he and xuejiao used to fight (read: XJ would beat the SHIT out of him cause hes twice his size) when they were kids#as older teens they dont really have anything to do with each other because they have no shared hobbies and dont get along well#and MBJ is like :( our children have stopped sparring... something is wrong with them...#SQH: i actually think it's for the better that theyve stopped beating the everloving shit out of each other. but maybe thats my human bias#TH eats raw meat. XJ has constant flashbacks to his childhood of food poisoning (by political rivals who wanted him dead lol)#TH kicking open the door: HOW LONG AFTER AN ANIMAL DIES CAN I EAT IT?#XJ: i fucking hate this family. ugh. as long as it doesn't have any maggots or anything. fucking hell. get out of my rooms
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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hang on i'm once again thinking about house being stupid with love. stacy moved in with him a week after meeting him. that's HUGE change. could you imagine how much he'd have to be obsessing over her to make HIS home THEIR home??? and he still wasn't over her 5+ years later after everything either.
(and like. i wonder if there was ever a moment there for wilson where he's watching house and stacy be so witty and beautiful and in love together and thinking to himself, huh. so this is what that feels like.)
#house md#stacy warner#gregory house#james wilson#i'm hacking into this man's brain rn#this man who argues the validity and existence of love he could probably fall in love in a day if he let himself#and while it's not marriage it's certainly not nothing for wilson to watch play out#do you think he was happy for him? did he tell him to slow down?#it was before the infarction so maybe. well maybe house was still an infallible figure to him#always five moves ahead so uniquely capable of handling any challenge and stubborn enough to prove it#hell he was probably more active than wilson the guy can't stay still sometimes#i'm just. hmmm. now i am once again wishing we could have had some flashback episode or something#i wanna know what everyone was LIKE before pre-infarction#how did his relationship with cuddy change how did his relationship with wilson >#(who will risk his own security TIME AND TIME AGAIN for house's benefit) become what it is#where they maybe............ a little more normal friends??? or is that too crazy to consider
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based on this meme
#zard rant#trigun#It started out as being serious#but then I was like: Yeah use only pics from ep. 12#sorry roberto#your leftover fags were too funny#I truly believe that roberto didn't cope too well (uh... the alcoholism)#but compared to Vash and Wolfwood...#maybe I should have put them OFF the charts#And while I think Meryl still has flashbacks akin to post dragon's district meryl#She will cope
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ok for all the nonsense i give the [redacted] anime, this scene looks pretty funny in the manga adaptation
#b u t that’s only bc of the artist’s skills. the way their faces are illustrated makes it better than it’s actually worth#(sorry dudes im just having ✨thoughts✨ and ✨flashbacks✨ to the point of having a huge headache so pls look at loserxloser with me~~)#still cant believe how dirty every single character was done in the [redacted] anime though. even tamura and uchida weren’t spared#and they had. like. less than an hour of total screentime throughout the series combined#even nagisa was put on a bus (or rather a train) and never returned. not even as a cameo. smh.#the only character that escaped relatively unscathed was juri i think. she was just in it for the vibes#i’d say the one and only thing the [redacted] anime improved in from the og setting was hiyo informing akechi about her job. that’s it.#everything else… nope. nah. especially whatever was going on between the someya bros#h m. yk what. maybe thinking about the [redacted] anime on a headache wasn’t the best idea after all. lmao#maybe going to cry on priv would’ve been a better idea… instead of having this bonus headache. oh well.#anyways live laugh love loserxloser
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head#hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got#blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well#these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol#hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed#u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell#hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best#if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand#I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again#eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife#hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart#have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative
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How pissed do you think Shermie was when he found out about what really happened with Stan and Ford???
#Hayley Speaks#It might not hit as hard if you headcanon him as the baby in the flashback#But if you don't and you headcanon him as older than them it's like#Okay so he comes home to find out one of his younger brothers got kicked out#And the other moved all the way to the other side of the country#And then the news about Stan being dead comes up#So I fully imagine that while Stan never outright told him about what happened; he knows damn well that he's not Ford#Even after all the time they spent apart; that is so CLEARLY Stanley Pines who is suddenly going by Stanford#Maybe Stan hides his hands around Shermie to continue the con but Shermie knows#Which means something probably happened to Ford and Stan doesn't want anyone to know#So he keeps the secret and doesn't let on that he knows#He could always confront Stan about it but also like#The last time he really saw Stan was long before he got kicked out of the house#He does NOT want to scare off what is potentially the only brother he has left#He's always felt like the third wheel when it came to them; both because of the twin thing and the 'being the oldest' thing#Combined with the whole 'Pines men don't talk about their feelings' thing; he thinks it's best to just let Stan keep pretending to be Ford#And silently mourn the loss of the brother that the rest of the family doesn't realize is even gone#But THEN the grandkids are like 'Yeah Grunkle Stan's twin brother is back now!' and he's PISSED OFF#He kept Stan's secret for THIRTY YEARS and the bastard didn't even have the gall to let him know that Ford was back face to face#Neither of the bastards had the gall to do it?!#They just took off on a fishing boat together in search of adventure??#He's so mad at them but also...that is so painfully in character for them. At least from the memories he has of them as young kids.#But also.......he's their brother#They couldn't have told him ANYTHING???
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Fuck this meeting, here's a sneak peek of Perhaps Chapter 48
“Bella,” Narcissa murmured, dejected. “Don’t do this. You’re my sister – I'm, I’m with you, wherever you are.”
Bellatrix’s posture seemed to relax marginally, but not her eyes. Her dark gaze seemed to burn with an altogether different kind of rage.
“Are you, Cissy? Are you really?”
Her eyes turned to the remnants of Narcissa’s desk, now lying in chunks and splinters over the marble. “Who were you writing in such a hurry, huh?”
Hermione could see Young Narcissa’s jaw working, clenching so tight there was an audible click. Her blue eyes were solid, impenetrable walls of ice.
“Severus. I was writing to Severus for an anti-emetic elixir – something stronger than what Healer Fairweather can give me. That’s all.”
The lie was desperate at best – that was plainly evident even to Hermione. She had no doubt it was even less convincing to Bellatrix.
“Severus. You were writing to Severus for help with your nausea.”
Narcissa nodded, now committed to the lie.
“You know me, Bella,” Narcissa stalled, forcing her features to freeze into petrified nonchalance. “I’ve always had a such weak stomach.”
There was a heavy, tense pause, tense as the taut fraying ropes mooring a ship to shore through a storm. Bellatrix cut through it with a chilling cackle.
“Quite right, quite right, Cissy,” she chuckled darkly, threatening as opposed to amused. “I’ll pass along your wishes to dear old Sev.”
#is nara inserting gratuitous flashbacks#*gasp*#color me shocked pikachu#y'all it's been a rough year since the last update I am RUSTY#but oh well#here it comes I guess#still have a few pages to type up#cissamione#hp femslash#fic writing#BACK ON MY BULLSHIT (maybe)
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i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to “educate” me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic 💀 they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my “anti ship propaganda” in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right 😅#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will 💀#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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iyhsb my absolute beloved,,
#SUCH a good quest augh#june is having the WORST time though </3#laya plays dragon age#oc: june trevelyan#<- for the tag rambling xd#first off she was betting on sealing the breach also getting rid of the mark so when that did nothing she maybe panicked a little bit (a lo#the templars attacking?? a wtf moment for sure but also kinda expected that to happen sooner or later#(considering they prolly didnt take well to yknow. hosting the rebel mages)#RED templars though? different story#she did not manage to lift a finger against that red templar horror bc she was too preoccupied with processing that this used to be a perso#& having ptsd flashbacks to seeing ppl she knows affected like this in Bad Future#and that this is apparently Real now and not just something she can file away as something that did not technically ever happen irl#the snowstorm bit always gives me literal chills and not just bc of the setting#and just hhhngh.#dawn will come sequence also fun! <3#as is being forced into the inquisitor role <333#all around fun times
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Me thinks I am one of the few who really likes lmk's pacing
#personally I think it's god pacing#They can do a lot in 10 minutes and do it well#Like. Let's look at 4x02#It gives us a SWK & Macaque flashback#It gets Tang Sandy and Pigsy trapped in the scroll#It introduces Azure as a characters (and hints at peng and yellowtusk)#It explains the curse the scroll and gives us a hint of the 10 kings of the underworld#It establishes Azure's relationship with monkey king#AND it get's MK and Mei into the scroll#all in 10 minutes#They blow me outta da water every time#Like. I don't know what we could possible cut out to make time for other things.#Like. *maybe* 3x03. Maybe.#Aughg but I don't want to I'm just so satisfied with what we have#Like RELATIVELY. To the total time the show actually has. I just feel like everything gets a decent amount of focus#Which is my opinion#But I guess this topic as a whole is pretty subjective#anyways#rant end *sheaths my blade*#lmk#lego monkie kid#imp tag
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doing the math and i'm pretty sure chilchuck is getting his bow back next week, and we might finally get to meet the canaries (the elves), if not next week then definitely the week after!
#sorry - the post above is so short compared the the hour long rabbit hole i just went into trying to figure out#if we'd get mithrun's reveal before the end of this season lmao#and i dont think we will!#unless they really rework a bunch of timing!#my guess right now is - ep19 will be the hag/nightmare/ice golem/barometz (getting to know izutsumi etc)#maybe ending with marcille's nightmare or something but#ep20 will be the surface interlude from egg as well as the golden country stuff#21 will be senshi backstory o'clock#22 will be all the mushroom ring fallout from one of my favorite monsters you-know-what#and that ends with them having that heart to heart on the trolley deciding how they're going to save falin again#which is frankly a really good ending for the season! I can see them ending it here if the timing works out#THAT or the flashback conversation Laios has right after the succubus chapters#I can see them fitting the bicorn/horseman/succubus into episode 23/24#the problem there is. mithrun's reveal happens in the two chapters right after laios has his big conversation#and i would LOVE to end on mithrun's reveal but thats really pushing it for 24 episodes#maybe we'll get more than 24 episodes??#but assuming 24...#they might push all the kabru and mithrun scenes to another cour and wrap it up with the big important conversation/vision laios has#wont know until we see what they do!!
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