#which is frankly a really good ending for the season! I can see them ending it here if the timing works out

[lunar-years]

Re: the fic tropes from the s2 hiatus, I have a related thought or question.

I would welcome your thoughts or recs (including recs of your own fic) because I admittedly found the OT3 WAY more easy to believe in fic in the s2 hiatus, in terms of Jamie joining an established RoyKeeley, even if the signs for the RK break up were there in retrospect. I now find it hard to believe in, post finale (well, post fight - up until half way through the finale we were looking good.) I still read lots of OT3 things that diverge at different points in the show, up to and including mid finale, and them simply not taking their bullshit argument to Keeley’s door, but I CANNOT see a path back from that after they do it, only to RJ, in a strictly canon compliant post finale fic. Of course Keeley becomes friends with them again but the events of canon made me feel like she fully closed the door on either of them in that scene for good, and I can't see it working out the way I once could. That's a let down, and makes me sad especially after 3.11! I used to not even like RJ without K, I much preferred OT3.

So what are your fave fics that deal with them getting together post finale - as in, one that doesn't diverge and that deal with what actually happened? I want a fic to really to sell me on it, if that makes sense, because the show really didn't in the end, it felt like it killed it. (Even with the barbecue scene - it felt like potential for RJ + Friend Keeley to me.)

Can you help me believe in the possibility again?

Hello!! First off, let me apologize in advance for what I'm fearing might end up a lengthly response to what was a very simple question, and frankly more than you probably wanted to know lol. That said, I feel like I need to preface my suggestions a bit first to help explain my breakdown of the recs so here's just a few things to keep in mind:

So, I don't see Keeley kicking them out after their bullshit argument to be a permanent door closure on the possibility for a relationship, which obviously influences my enjoyment of post finale ot3 fics greatly. Instead, I sort of just view it as Keeley drawing a hard boundary on what she's willing to put up with, and categorically deciding that she not going to engage with either of them when they're being that idiotic (enormously valid of her). HOWEVER, I honestly believe all it would take is a genuine apology from them to allow them both back into her good graces (look at how easily she forgave Roy after he gave her that sort of half-arsed [imo] apology letter! Now, obviously that didn't fix anything between them, and Keeley was in a particularly vulnerable place when it happened, and possibly their subsequent decision to sleep together then made things worse for their future romantically, but they are also undeniably back to genuine friendship + complicated feelings about ~more~ in the very next episode! I think this situation would go very much the same way.)

NOW, I'm not saying that's like... an entirely healthy and well-adjusted basis for a romantic relationship right off the go, just that I do think that Keeley would accept their apology and return to being friends with both of them really speedily. And that I don't think the lingering romantic feelings between them all (that imo, we do see hints of all season) would disappear. The big problem with roykeeley that led to the breakup was their inability to communicate their needs and feelings and what they wanted out of their relationship, alongside an inability to be truly vulnerable about their emotions. But i think s3 made it very clear to me how much the love is still there between them, and I'm of the belief that all it would take to fix them would be an honest conversation where they acknowledge they've hurt one another, admit they still love each other, and come up with a plan to move forward. I think the solution would be similar for budding ot3--they just need that heart to heart moment to hash it all out, because the love is there!

As such, the most "realistic" path forward for ot3 post-finale the way I see it is for all three of them to agree to be ~just friends~ for the foreseeable, giving Keeley time to focus on herself & her career and explore the self-discovery that comes with being single for once, as well as giving Roy time to develop a routine with therapy and work esp. on the issues that promoted him to initiate the bullshit finale fight with Jamie in the first place. I do not necessarily think anyone but Jamie is necessarily ready for any relationship where we leave them in s3, so I feel very similar about routes forward for RJ, JK or RK and I do for RJK. Eventually though (because let's face it, I do think they're all deeply horny for one another as well as share deeper feelings) the simmering, underlying sexual tension would boil over and the friendship would develop into more.

But all that said...I also am very easy to please and can be made to believe in pretty much any route to ot3, so I enjoy most interpretations of how they get together post finale/*that* fight. I love that it was left so open-ended, it makes it so easy for me to enjoy most fics about how they might get together

I say all this not to argue over your different interpretation (which is a totally valid one!) or to try to suggest everyone needs to see it how I see it, but rather to sort of warn you I guess that some of the fics I'm recommending might not be as successful for you as you were for me, because I see the situation so differently.

I think a lot of canon-compliant post finale fics (mine included tbh) tend to sweep the fight moment under the rug (as in, it gets mentioned that the boys apologized or what have you, but there's also been at least a few weeks time jump since the finale and the three of them have kind of moved on from that evening) because myself and other authors maybe see it as less of a major dealbreaker that needs to very addressed before the three can more forward. I have tried to curate the fics out accordingly into categories that will hopefully steer you in the right direction, but it's also been a while since I've read a lot of these:

Category A: Very convincing (imo) canon-compliant getting-together post finale fics that don't necessarily address the final fight head on:

The Third Wheel by scintilla10; a very cute one-shot based around the idea that Jamie and Keeley have a heart to heart in Brazil and then bring that energy back home to Roy.

Upside Down by @morethanslightly; post finale, they're all friends! then Jamie and Keeley go to Brazil and more occurs :)

take away the glass by @izzyspussy; OK...so to be fair... This one explicitly states in the leading author's note that it ignores everything that happens in the finale, lol. However, it's so good and otherwise (imo) very in line with canon that I'm recommending it to you anyway, even though it doesn't match the brief. JamieKeeley get back together first, which is a unique take I haven't seen in any other fic that nonetheless feels SO fitting for the dynamic in s3. I just really think this is the post-series fic that could convince you on the three of them again :)

Oh, Lord, You've Never Been So In Love by asexual-fandom-queen; post finale friends to lovers, the fight is mentioned in what i think is a very effective way, but not really focused on.

Triangles by @catalogercas- I love fics where Phoebe is the one to knock some sense into them :)

Category B: Post-finale ot3 fics that DO address the finale/fight of it all head on:

How to Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) by SquaresAreNotCircles; very fun but also They Talk About It! Pretty in line with how I see how things actually playing out in canon, tbh.

boyfriend lessons by @mixtapestar; so this is in alignment with "they apologize, Keeley forgives them and they all move on" which I realize might be enough accountability for the way you view the fight, but there's fun twists and I love anything that involves shenanigans and also their Brazil trip.

it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning - butterflybook; a quick one-shot about the boys apologizing & Keeley forgiving them (author notes this happens quickly, but they share my sentiment that that is pretty in character for Keeley)

Category C: Maybe less convincing, given canon, in terms of like, long-term stability for the relationship without further conversation and hard work, but definitely convincing for in-the-moment rampant horniness:

three turns by scintilla10; this is about Keeley inviting them back in immediately after kicking them out for horny purposes, so I'm not sure you'd be convinced by this lmao. But it's also so fun, so I thought I'd throw it on the list anyway for others people who might be interested and/or if you read some category A stuff that gets you back in the ship and then want to try something different

Triple blend by Dancey96; this definitely takes some liberties with what Keeley may have said before kicking them out. so it's "canon-compliant" in a very loose way I don't think aligns with what was actually intended in canon, lol. BUT! It works for them and it's fun and it's hot and it's a fun way to play with what happened so maybe it would make you feel better about the scene! idk

Heart Trouble by @morethanslightly this is another play on the scene that maybe doesn't address their problems as much as you would need, but gosh it is sexy and fun!

Category D: My own fics that may or not be your speed but I'm throwing in to self promo anyway:

Confetti ; This follows the concept that they're all friends post finale and then slowly the dynamic starts to change; fluffy getting together fic ft. Roy's family

last to leave the party ; another iteration of the above but this time it's years of friendship between the three of them post the finale before the something happens that causes things to shift back around to romance

Actually, the one I'm writing now (RJK friends with benefits) is I think going to be the one that addresses what you are looking for most head on (in terms of dealing with the direct aftermath of the finale and staying completely canon compliant). So stay tuned!

If anyone else has any suggestions or would like to self-rec one of your own fics for anon, please add them/share them with me!

[pagesofkenna]

doing the math and i'm pretty sure chilchuck is getting his bow back next week, and we might finally get to meet the canaries (the elves), if not next week then definitely the week after!

[starry-bi-sky]

I am absolutely loving your Danyal Al Ghul au. While I have a soft spot for the whole plotline of Danny becoming his canon personality almost right after breaking away from the LOA all because of Jazz, I'm just as much for your take in which he goes through the same character development as Damian.

Now I'm curious. You already tackled his relationship with Dani, will you eventually take a stab at when he, Sam, and Tucker meet Gregor? Given that it's one of my hated episodes as I couldn't stand Sam's infuriatingly hypocritical attitude to Danny's suspicions of him, I'd kill to see your spin on it.

Aw, thank you! Danyal Al Ghul aus are what got me into DPDC first, so I have a major soft spot for them. That being said, uh, its exactly that soft spot that causes me to have Many Opinions about the trope you just mentioned. Like the trope is all fine and dandy, i don't blindly hate it, my main issue with it is that most aus i've seen treat his backstory as an ex-assassin more like a pretty cosmetic accessory rather than something that actually should have had an impact on him. Especially if he remembers being in the league.

Like i cannot stress enough the fact that being in an ecofascist assassin cult (regardless of his standing in it) should've left him, in some way or another, screwed up morally and psychologically because that's just how development works. Nature vs. Nurture is like a game of tug-o-war that never ends, where they are constantly fighting against each other and one side usually has the upper hand or greater influence. Children model the behaviors of the adults around them (ex: bobo the clown doll experiment), and what impacts them in childhood can stick with them permanently.

Like how my psychology professor put it: a baby's brain is like wet cement; if you slap your hand on it, it leaves an imprint, and the cement dries that way. The same rings true for small children.

I could go on, but I frankly have so many thoughts on that alone that I would end up completely derailing from the second half of your ask, and I don't want to be more critical than I already have. Especially since you just mentioned you have a soft spot for the trope.

[Okay, hold onto your hats because this is long. Naturally lmao.]

Gregor! Man, I'll admit I last watched the show back in middle school on a dodgy illegal website (it had surprisingly good audio and visual graphics, and full episodes. But really annoying porn ads.) but I only made it to like season 1 before my hyperfixation faded and I lost interest. So I never actually saw the Gregor episode.

But... it is relatively easy to find free websites that stream Danny Phantom :), so finding the episode took me like. Thirty seconds. Plus the Tv.Tropes recap page because my damn earbuds just died and im out in public as of rn.

I'm not sure if I'll write something for the gregor episode like I did with Dani, since Dani's a bit of a special case in that she's a clone and tends to be a reoccurring presence in DPDC, and I thought the new dynamic with Danyal would be interesting.

Plus, I'm not a big amethyst ocean shipper for the pure reason of I'm just not all that interested in it; its kinda bland to me. I'll admit I've entertained the thought in this au due to the whole balcony scene i wrote, but I would've entertained the thought anyways if it was Tucker in that position instead. Big multishipper, me.

But, if I had to make it official? Danyal is not interested romantically in Sam when the Gregor episode happens, regardless of his relationship with Valerie. Who, speaking of I'm trying to think about how that would go, and I'm torn between including him almost-dating Valerie or not.

Because on one hand it helps point out Sam's hypocrisy (and i love her but i am always happy to point out her flaws and address them in au) in this episode in terms of Danny spying on them, but on the other hand I'll want to include a lot of set up in order to make Gray Ghost work in this au and wow will that take a while.

Especially with the Flirting with Disaster episode because it happens due to Technus' meddling, and Danny is, well, the son of the Batman? A trained assassin? An ex-assassin nonetheless, but still an assassin? A prodigy child in this au? He might not have needed to use most of his skills in the last few years, but like... there's just a bunch of 'what if' and 'well technically...' and 'would he? he could, but would he?' things that is getting in the way of my thought process and making my head spin.

.

Mmm. Okay. Flirting with Disaster occurs relatively the same as canon with a few exceptions; like Danyal noticing the strange coincidences, and he might take the idea into proper consideration because Sam has a point it is strange, especially out of nowhere.

However,,, he really enjoys Valerie's company, and he does really like her. He's been adjusting to civilian life for the last four years and while he's made a lot of progress, he's still. an ex-assassin child living like a wolf amongst sheep. This is normal, typical teenager stuff, and usually his friends like to encourage him doing normal teenager stuff.

So he's stubbornly holding out on the thought that this is normal, that ghost stuff isn't interfering here. He's a little hurt that his friends are discouraging this, he's not bothered by the fact that Valerie is a ghost hunter and he a ghost -- his mother is an assassin, and his father is Batman, and they still had a relationship. (Granted, he's not gonna tell them that)

If anything, being diametrically opposed to each other but still being in love is part of the family! Granted, usually both parties are aware of said opposition to each other, but he'll make a special exception this time around.

(And man now that i'm thinking about gray ghost, im now thinking about various like. scenes i could write between the two of them. maybe in a reblog.)

Anyways uhhh things relatively go the same as canon. Yeah. I think Sam still has a crush on Danny and still spies out of jealousy with Tucker.

.

Now, the Gregor episode! With that out of the way; the TVTropes recap for this episode isn't the best because it doesn't go into detail about the entire episode like it does with Flirting With Disaster and Shades of Gray.

(which i looked at earlier because I made a section of this post talking briefly about what changes I'd make to the Shades of Gray episode to help set up Gray Ghost, but ended up deleting because it was kinda irrelevant for the matter at hand.)

So I'm taking in bits of the episode clips at a time, I'll try not to get too nitpicky about how each scene goes because then it's gonna take me a longer time to write this.

But! First thing's first; since Danny is not romantically interested in Sam, he is also not jealous of Gregor. He is however, a bit eyebrow-raisey at him in their first introduction, but that's because Gregor is coming off as obnoxious.

Danny thinks he's kinda annoying, and it doesn't take a genius to see that Gregor is trying to impress Sam. But since they've only known him for five minutes he takes the good faith assumption and assumes that Gregor is genuinely trying to show interest in Sam's interests too because he likes her, so he keeps mum. The fake hungarian accent is weird, but it's overall harmless, so he doesn't point it out.

He does do the spying thing when he starts suspecting that Gregor might be working for the GIW. The episode only has this happen twice, but for the au this happens a handful of more times over the course of the week, with Danyal's suspicion steadily rising more and more each time.

Hah, when he brings up wanting to spy on Sam and Gregor because of this reason, Tucker still does his "woah! you wanna spy on Sam?" thing.

Danny immediately turns to him, completely unimpressed, and crosses his arms. "Tucker," he says, deadpan, "you and Sam spied on me and Valerie."

He uses a combination of his ghost powers and his regular stealth ability to spy on them. He's hiding in a tree when they're skipping rocks, close enough that he can use his powers to hear them talk but far enough away that he has a good view of their surroundings.

He's invisible in the cinema, but doesn't accidentally get in front of the projector. He checks the inside of the room for the GIW, and then waits outside the actual room itself, keeping an eye on the area and occasionally flying in to watch the movie out of boredom. It reminds him of being back on a recon mission with the League, but it doesn't end with him orchestrating someone's death.

Then when they're at the mall he stays in human form, blending in with the crowd. He runs into the GIW there, but realizes that they're not there because of Gregor; they're just shopping. They didn't show up at either of the last two locations, and he follows them to make sure they're not also trying to blend in. But they're literally just there for shopping.

Danny is rather pleased with this turnout; so far Gregor isn't a spy, he's just annoying. The next day at lunch he asks Sam how her date with Gregor went, and that's how she figures out he spied on them, because well, she didn't tell him that.

"Have you been spying on me?"

Danny messes with his food a little bit, and Tucker is sinking into his seat with embarrassment. He frowns, "Only last night. Those incompetent government dodos--"

His lip curls up; he gets all 'Shakespeare-y' (as Sam and Tucker put it) when he's insulting someone, "--kept appearing whenever Gregor did. I followed you and him last night to make sure he wasn't a spy."

A roundabout way of saying, "I was worried".

Sam is, as canon, furious. Danny understands why, he knows generally speaking that people don't like being spied on. But he's confused on just how angry she is, and is a little irritated by it.

"Why would you do that!" She exclaims, "That's way out of line, Danny."

"How? You spied on me when I was going on dates with Valerie." He narrows his eyes, and points his fork at her, "I'm not blind, I noticed."

"That's different, we told you why we were suspicious. And we don't have ghost powers like you do."

"I don't need ghost powers to sneak around, Sam, you've seen this firsthand. And I just told you why I followed you, I thought he was working with the guys in white--"

"So you think someone can only be interested in me if they're after you?" (this is a paraphrased quote, folks ;D)

"No! If that was the case I would have voiced my concern the moment I thought it. I don't get why you're so angry, you spied too."

Iiits.... a mess. Sam storms off with Gregor, Tucker tags along because okay, yeah, maybe Gregor isn't with the GIW, or maybe last night was a fluke. Either way he ends up tagging along. Danny overhears that conversation between the GIW and Mr. Lancer, and maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong; but something is up.

I've gotten to that scene in the locker room where Gregor tells Danny that he knows he doesn't like him, and I've paused at Danny's reply to say this: Danyal doesn't even bother trying to deny it.

"I know you do not like me."

"You're right; I don't."

"Ah, let me finish. I know you do not like me because you want to protect your friend, Sam, and I respect that."

"...That's correct."

"Good! Because I am going to ask her out."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," he stands up, claps his hand tight on Gregor's shoulder, and leans close to him with a threatening smile, "so you understand me when i say; if you break my best friend's heart, you're as good as dead, right?"

"Ah,, yes. I am so glad we got that cleared out of the way, and now I hope after we can.. how you Americans put it, hang out?"

In the episode he hugs Danny and gives him a la bise (which is that french greeting where you kiss someone on the cheek two or more times) after they end their conversation. But here, when he goes to do that to Danyal, Danny leans away, points an accusatory finger at him, and says; "Absolutely not; we are not close."

The next scene after that is like, end of day. Sam, Tucker, and Gregor walking away. Sam looks over her shoulder to glare at Danny, then gets forlorn. Tucker looks back and just looks forlorn.

(When did I start narrating each scene?? Eh, I'm writing this in brief spurts of time throughout the day. Don't fix what's not broke)

After that there's this whole scene with the two GIW agents that have been chasing Phantom all episode. They're there because they have Tucker's PDA that Skulker took, and it's got the information of their purple backed gorilla assignment on it. They've been going around seeing who Tucker associates with in hopes of catching Phantom.

Uhh ahaha and that is where this gets a little interesting imo, and also allows me to mention that im retconning Danyal's (already) redesigned ghost form. Which I've wanted to retcon even before this moment bc it was just too busy. I'll get to that in a moment.

The GIW suspect Gregor for being the Phantom because of his white hair and green eyes, which is all fine and dandy until you remember: Danyal (and by extension Phantom) has that very noticeable, rather identifiable facial scar that goes across the middle of his fucking face. The GIW could easily suspect that Phantom hides his scar with makeup if he's in disguise, but if they meet a kid with a seemingly identical facial scar and similar disposition? Hoo boy.

Solution? I've got two: Gregor is canonically a kid from Michigan who faked everything to impress Sam. Considering he knows she's gothic and knows that she's ultra-recyclo vegetarian? He probably watched her from afar or got information on her somehow. His hair is dyed, his eyes might just naturally be green, but if he notices that she's got a crush on either Danyal or Phantom? A little sfx makeup could help him recreate a similar looking scar.

My second solution that's gonna happen anyways bc its that suit redesign; Danyal does hide his face as Phantom. Ghosts are emotional creatures and its a popular headcanon that their interests, ambitions, etc, influence the way they look as a ghost, not just their death. A big reoccurring theme of my au is that Danyal did not leave the League unscathed, and that being an assassin is an important part of his identity.

So i'm discarding the hazmat suit look entirely and leaning into the 'assassin' thing. But the general (stylized) feel is like, white ribbon/cloth vambraces that he has used as a garrote at some point, a hood, a gaiter scarf-type thing. I'm keeping the cape. I did a doodle a few days back that's not the official redesign, but a redesign for Phantom. I may reblog this post with that attached because it's got the general feel down. There's very little white involved, but the inside of his cape flares out and looks like the night sky.

Now, the hood and gaiter scarf gets rid of most of the problem, but Danny's hood doesn't stay on all the time, so the GIW have likely seen the upper half of the scar. :] Gregor's own drawn-on scar doesn't have to be 1:1, but it looks close enough, right? A small scar cutting through the edge of his brow and ends right below the corner of his eye. A 'cool, badass' one opposed to Danny's 'garish' scar.

But! Back to the episode scene. Canon Danny gets written off as being 'too prepubescent' to be Phantom, and honestly it'd be hilarious if Danyal was written off for the same reason (he's calling them idiots in his head if they do). But instead -- leaning into the GIW's incompetence here -- he gets written off as being too mature or too talkative. Or something equally as absurd.

Sam breaks up with Gregor for canon reasons, but when Gregor does his "i really like you, but, come on-!" and gestures to tucker, he adds on "and that scary friend of yours too, seriously!"

Things go relatively the same as canon after that. Danny does end up apologizing for spying, however. Sam does it first. Sorrows, prayers, all that.

.

Things usually end up changed or different when I actually write it down, so I'd likely add more or adjust different scenes according to the flow of the oneshot. This is just like, a general vibe of how things would go, and where some of the more obvious changes would be if I did write this oneshot.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the ask :]

[drvscarlett]

GRENADE (MV01)

EPISODE 1. Who is getting Checo's seat?

Grenade Series

Taglist. @spideybv28 @randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @itsjustkhaos @stampiej

The newest episode of the documentary series starts in a studio with the camera crews focusing their camera to the Red Bull drivers. Aubrey Vaughn and Max Verstappen has conducted the interviews separately but they were showcased side-by-side. Max was in his usual Red Bull gear while Aubrey was dressed to kill. Right here there were words floating down the screen.

'Max Verstappen and Aubrey Vaughn, the two Red Bull drivers embroiled in intense rivalry finally sits down to talk to us' Max held the clapper indicating the Red Bull documentary is currently in-session. His usual blank face plastered on his face. Aubrey was flashed to the screen with a candid shot of her fixing her microphone. Then the camera angle shifted to a front view where she smiled and looked directly at the camera. "Aubrey are you ready to start this interview?" the interviewer was not in sight and Aubrey nodded to the camera "Can you first tell us how did you get your Red Bull seat?" "Honestly I owe everything to Checo"

Sergio "Checo" Perez has already had his fair shares of victories in Formula 1. It wasn't always sunshines and rainbows, for sure there were times where it was a really really bad weekend. There is a lot of experiences, teams, and stories for him to tell. He wasn't getting any younger and the calendar has just got a bit hectic. The kids are also growing up and he doesn't want to miss more milestones. He knew that it was a very perfect time for him to retire.

Of course,the first person he discussed it with is his teammate Max then the rest of the Red Bull crew. Christian made an offer to increase his benefits to convince Checo to stay but alas the driver wanted to retire.

It was a mess to pick which driver could work best with Max. Checo told about his retirement during the Shanghai GP and now its the summer break so the team is scouting for their second driver. Of course, Checo offered that he will join in the quest of finding the other driver for Red Bull which is why he is here in Spain.

"Are you here to look for a retirement plan?" Fernando greeted with a joke

Fernando Alonso, two time world champion and a good friend of Checo. He was also the first person outside Red Bull that Checo told about his retirement.

"Not planning to retire soon?"

"I'm doing okay"Fernando answered "I can still beat the kids"

The two glanced at the track. It was filled with children and teens practicing. Checo smiled as he remembers how he used to be like one of them.

At the corner of his eyes, he catches a bright pink go kart. His eyes followed as she moved gracefully and with precision around the track. By the end of it, Checo's eyes widened as the helmet was lifted up.

"Is that Vaughn?" Checo recognized her.

"Oh you know Aubrey, she's one of my pride and joys"Fernando proudly acknowledges.

Fernando was quite proud of Aubrey Vaughn like a father would be to their daughter. He have mentored Aubrey ever since he saw her frequent the track in 2015. He would always look into her races whenever he could andd offer advices about how to survive.

As for Checo, he knows all about her due to the Red Bull garage talking about Aubrey Vaughn.

He has gotten acquainted with the name when the garage buzzed about the rising star of the F1 academy. Then he soon found out that it was a sore topic for Max because the 8 year old Aubrey has beaten him twice when he was still karting.

Although from what Checo has heard, Aubrey wasn't able to win the championship. Plus she hasn't been seen ever since her crash so he was pretty surprised to see her here.

"How is she? Its been a while since I last saw her" Checo wondered

Frankly, Fernando remembered how broken Aubrey was after the whole F1 Academy shenanigans. It was even more unfortunate when she was not picked to race for F1 Academy for 2024 and even for the 2025 season.

"She's been resting here and teaching in my academy" Fernando admitted "I think she has far more potential than just staying here"

Checo nods his head in agreement. If Aubrey was as good as the stories that he heard then she should have been competing even in Formula 1.

It was like a lightbulb moment for him.

"She's not yet signed with anyone?" Checo clarifies.

"Not yet" Fernando looked at him skeptically "What's on your mind? You look like you have some grand elaborate plan"

"Well Red Bull is looking for my replacement, why not have Aubrey take a shot at my seat"

"I still send gifts every month to Checo because of that." Aubrey concludes "I think by month 3 he told me that I didn't have to but I was really appreciative of the whole thing so I decided to give gifts to his kids instead." The camera cuts back to Max. "What was your reaction to Aubrey being your teammate? Were you happy to know that a familiar face will be joining you? We heard you crossed paths in karting before" "Well I was pretty chill about it" Max replied

"WHO IS REPLACING CHECO?"

It was a good call for Christian to talk to Max first in a one-on-one set-up before announcing it with the whole team. Christian knew Max like the back of his hand and he will not be happy about the decision that he made but Christian knows that she is the best option to replace Checo.

"Aubrey Vaughn is replacing Checo" Christian repeated "I would rather you hear it from me than the media"

"What about Daniel? What about Carlos? Why are we putting a rookie as the second driver?" Max asked, completely in disraught.

"You know Daniel is not doing well, Carlos is signed with Mercedes, and she is the best option" Christian answered.

Max sat down as he rethinks his decision in life. He can never forget how a menace Vaughn was when they were kids. He was actually happy that he hasn't heard of her for the past few years ever but her F1 academy stint brought her back to the picture. As far as Max knows, she hasn't been up to a lot.

But now she will be his teammate? Hell no.

"How can she be allowed to go back?"Max's frustration was evident in his tone.

"She is really good Max, I have a clip of her testing the car" Christian pushed a tablet with the Visa Cash App RB car on track.

For a second, Max was taken a back with how well she performs on track. There were moments that he thinks that Aubrey lost control the car but then she handles it smoothly as if it was on purpose.

It reminded of Max that Aubrey is a driver that pushes everything to the limits.

"This will not work, she will be a pain as a team mate" Max groans

"Now stop being dramatic Max" Christian smiles "I'm sure you will enjoy having someone to challenge you during the races."

It was true that he wanted to be challenged, he expressed it multiple times that the only time he felt the competition was in Singapore 2023. Max should have made his wish clear that he wanted a challenge but not someone like Aubrey to challenge him. Now, he felt like he wants to run into a wall over and over again so he will be disqualified instead of having Aubrey as a team mate for a whole season.

"I'm telling you Christian that we will be a pain in your head" Max warns.

"This is a development that you have been asking for Max." Christian has a very convincing argument "Didn't you say that you're not crossing out the possibility of a female driver in Formula 1? And bringing Aubrey into the picture will help more female drivers to enter the sports"

Max really hates it when his words comes haunting him back. He remembered that interview well when he criticized the F1 academy for not making fast cars and delaying opportunities for female drivers.

"Okay but this one is on you if you have another multi 21 moment" Max says before leaving the room

"Oh Max said he was very chill about the news of me joining the team?" Aubrey stifles a laugh "I'm sorry but that's the craziest lie he said" "Really? What happened" "Well, this is crazy but we never saw each other until the testing season. Its like he is avoiding me like the plague" Aubrey recounts.

Aubrey knew that entering a new team requires her to be friendly with everyone so she spent a lot of time at Milton Keynes. She went to meet every engineers, mechanics, and the whole Red Bull crew to catch up with everyone.

It was quite funny because she almost met every single employee of Red Bull except for Max Verstappen.

"Aubrey Vaughn, its nice to finally meet you"

Now she is face-to-face with Gianpiero Lambiase, Max's engineer.

"So you are Max's race engineer"Aubrey grins, shaking his hands "So should I start bribing you to mess up Max's race strategy so I could win?"

"I'm not sure if you're joking.."

GP has heard of Max's crazy theories that Aubrey was out to get him. At first he thinks that Max is crazy but seeing Aubrey now, he definitely knows why Max is thinking of such things.

"Of course I'm just kidding" Aubrey laughs "Not unless you wanna join forces"

Immediately, GP relaxed in Aubrey's presence. There was something light and silly about Aubrey, that's for sure. GP thinks that maybe Max just misunderstands Aubrey's humor.

"Max seems to be missing in action lately" Aubrey pointed out "I hope he feels better"

"I'm sure he is okay"GP confusedly answer.

"That's good, Christian told me that Max called in sick because he had some food poisoning" Aubrey added

There was a scrunch in the face of the race engineer. As far as he knows, Max is doing some sim testing in floor 12. He immediately fixes his expression so that Max won't be caught in a lie.

Meanwhile, on the 12th floor, Max was on the lookout before going out to the corridor.

"Where is the devil?" Max texted Aubrey's trainer.

He wasn't scared of her. He just didn't want to meet her as much as he could because he knows that once the season starts then he is required to see her every weekend. It was even worse that the races this 2025 season is so close to one another.

"She is with GP at 4th floor"

Max felt really relieved that Aubrey was out of his way. He started walking towards the elevator when the door dinged open and he suddenly had a thought that maybe its her on the other side of the door.

"So basically I didn't know how to break and I crashed"

It was an unfamiliar female voice but it immediately triggered Max's fight or flight senses.

"fuck fuck fuck" Max muttered as he immediately hid behind a pillar.

He was not seen by those coming out of the elevator but he can see those going out of the elevator. He wanted to thank the heavens for his quick thinking and reaction skills because it was Aubrey coming out of the elevator.

It was the first time that Max got a good look at the devil's spawn. He haven't seen her ever since their karting days and the first thing he noticed was gone was the dark locks. It was replaced with a more blonde color like the barbie dolls.

She looked tall but Max thinks he is a couple of inches taller. She still had that grin on her face that she used to give him when she finishes ahead. Max absolutely hated it.

"She is exaggerating, I was not avoiding her" Max complains "I was just busy doing... things.....yes things"

There was laughter from the crew. Obviously they know it was bullshit but no one would dare tell the World Champion that.

"Okay max so how does it feel when you worked with each other on track"

"When you put two competitive drivers on one team, what do you think would happen?" Max asked.

"You already started racing during testing?" the interviewer clarifies.

"We weren't even on track and we started racing already"Max confirms.

Aubrey made it her mission to see Max on the first day of testing. She was waiting at the hotel lobby when she saw a familiar Red Bull cladded man eating at the hotel buffet. She sprinted her way to the table.

"Finally! The elusive Max Verstappen is in the flesh now" Aubrey grins as she sat down at the empty seat.

Max looked like a deer caught in headlights. He knew it was a bad idea to eat here for breakfast as there is 60% possibility to meet her here. But here goes nothing.

"What do you want from me?"Max grumbled.

"Just wanna meet my team mate"Aubrey said "You're just as grumpy as the first day that I met you"

Its been years but Max could still remember why he was so mad to meet Aubrey.

"You took my helmet and I have been disqualified because I did not have a helmet"Max pointed at her accussingly.

"Oh cmon Max that was years ago,would you let that go" Aubrey groans "Plus I said I was sorry and that it was all an accident"

"How is it an accident,it has a lion on it and you knew it was mine"

In Aubrey's defense, she was tired of people making fun of her because she is a girl. So she decided to take a random boy's helmet to wear to make them think that she isn't a girl.

Fortunately,it worked wonders because she was finally taken seriously. Unfortunately, the helmet she stole belongs to Max.

"It was a childhood mistake"

"Childhood mistake my ass" Max grunted.

He stood up to leave as he no longer has any appetite. Plus, he really needs to get away before this goes to a full screaming match.

"Oh cmon Max, were supposed to be team mates"Aubrey complained as she follows him.

The two Red Bull drivers earned looks from hotel guests as they bicker all the way to the parking lot. With Max telling her to go away while Aubrey keeps on pestering him to forgive her.

"Okay fine, lets settle this with a competition then dumbass" Aubrey challenged "What if the first person who arrives at the circuit gets what they want"

Max seems to think for a bit but then his face cracks to a smirk.

"Okay bring it on"

And so the cars started racing through the streets. Aubrey swears she can hear Tokyo Drift playing in her head as she drives her car throughout the highways. Max felt very determined to win so he could ask Aubrey to leave him alone.

The two were not mindful of their speed limits which is why sirens started following them.

"And that's the story why we got delayed to our first testing because we got speeding tickets" Max wrapped up. "So who got to the circuit first?" "There were no winners" Max answered "We were both at the police station" "I firmly believe that Max called the police because he knew that he would lose" Aubrey's interview replaced Max. "It was really interesting to be picked up at the police station by a fuming Christian Horner wondering where his two drivers are"Aubrey added.

[cloudmancy]

I have no desire to get you in trouble but I would be curious to hear your thoughts on the new episode and the preview because I also have.. thoughts and I'm interested in what other people clocked as not great or kinda.. idk. other people's concerns, because I have had a lot of them and I never see people really talk about those things

they're doing a new format this season where they film a bunch of rp episodes in a row then take a break when there's a battle so the crew can get the battleset ready, so I understand the dissonance. but the tone of this episode from the tone of last episode was SO jarring. I was ready to chew drywall at the end of episode 17 but we head into the episode 18 fight and at the end all I can say is... damn! that sure is a battle that happened. the entire fight felt really low-stakes even though objectively a few of the bad kids were in mortal danger, but the mood at the table was so relaxed and chill and there was almost no roleplay at all... which drove me so crazy

>no rp except for fun silly party stuff (no callbacks to the adaine elven oracle in a storm thing? after all the fun setup last time??)

>fought 8 different antagonists and none of them said a word

>nobody questioned why or what oisin's grandma or all those dragon were doing there they just started taking them out one by one like raid battles in world of warcraft

>cassandra/nightmare king showed up only to not make any impact or get a single word in

>dos2 lady vengeance fight did the floating boat/ballistas/dragon fight better SMH

and then after all of that we're headed straight into ANOTHER battle episode judging by the preview... and it's against the rat grinders and porter/jace! let me out I want PLOT & DIALOGUE fhjy cannot end like this (5 hours straight of battle where they just kill everyone that moves). there's 2 eps left so I really hope they do the last ep as a 4 hour long roleplay only epilogue episode because as we've all seen ending campaigns on a battle leads to frankly really rushed character and world decisions. it's ultra disappointing too because I loved this entire season so much so far. the setup and buildup and plot points and mystery of fhjy is the best they've ever done it in dimension 20 period

ep 18 fhjy battle was a letdown to me... not giving the party an rp episode after 3 hours of loredump + going straight into a final battle without being able to interact with the world after gaining info is bad. they should've had a chance to process everything they learned about house sunstone, porter's plan, the rat grinders being used as ascension fodder, whatever the whole deal behind ambrosia and lucy frostkettle and why they needed a helios cleric in buddy IN ROLEPLAY. I don't want all this stuff explained to me after the battle by brennan or in some throwaway lines in the adventuring party - I want the bad kids to talk to people! I want them to investigate! I want fig to pull some BS with porter knowing the full extent of all his plans. it really sucks for us as an audience too to be hit with all this lore and get approximately 0 time for it to sink into the implications of how the worldbuilding was shaped by it or realizations of "ohhh that's why that happened at the beginning of the season" before we go straight into killing everyone.

with the way this is going I don't have any confidence they're gonna be able to actually empathize at all with the rat grinders too before they start lopping heads off because in battle episodes everyone kind of just. becomes numbers and an objective to take out except for pet favourite npcs of the cast. and they've mostly been interacting with the rat grinders as nuisances all season 😭 I'm PRAYING to be proven wrong and the last 2 episodes of this are fantastic but it's not looking good folks

[threadbaresweater]

simple gifts | higuruma hiromi

it's christmas and i'm delusional. Have this picture-perfect hallmark romance daydream with my current obsession. f!reader, who can blush and has straight hair. they also visit a church at the end. 1.3k words of sappy fluff because i couldn't help myself. divider by @/saradika

Higuruma Hiromi never realized just how romantic the Christmas season could be until you were at his side. Frankly, he found the season overly commercialized, redundant, and really nothing more than a cash-grab for retailers and entertainers. Not quite the Ebenezer Scrooge of his time, he still found little to be excited about in the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle. 

That is, until he happened to glance at you one day as the two of you strolled downtown among the artisan shoppes and tucked away coffee houses; your eyes positively sparkled as you studied a festive window display, the smile on your lips overtaking your entire face. Large, fluffy flakes of snow fell atop your hair and settled in on your scarf, and the ruddy color settled high on your cheekbones set your skin positively aglow. You didn’t speak to him– charmed as you were by the decorations– but he found that he didn’t need you to say a word. Your excitement was palpable. 

He squeezed your hand and watched as a particularly large snowflake settled on your eyelashes. You giggled and swiped it away with a gloved finger, turning to smile up at him. When you realized the fondness in his gaze, the rose of your blush grew a bit deeper, and you swung your hip against him playfully.

“Knock it off!” you giggled.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, feigning innocence. 

“You’ve been watching me the whole time. Don’t you like the decorations?”

He hummed thoughtfully, adjusting the cashmere scarf around his neck. “They’re nice. But your reactions are more interesting. You’re like a kid in a candy store.”

You pointed at a grand, evergreen wreath at the rear of the display, adorned with red velvet ribbons and a few well-placed sprigs of holly. “Wouldn’t that look nice on our front door?”

Hiromi nodded once, pondering your suggestion. He’d never decorated for Christmas before, and while he liked to consider himself a man of good taste, there had never been anyone in his life to help him decide. 

Another thing he was grateful to you for. Without much effort, you brought an unprecedented joy to his life that he’d never thought possible. “If you say so.” It was the safe answer, this much he knew.

“Don’t just tell me what I want to hear,” you countered, wrapping your arms around him for warmth– and as an excuse to inhale his scent, to feel the wool of his coat against your cheek. “Do you like it or not?”

“I do."

~

At home, you pulled out box after box of decorations, much to Hiromi’s bewilderment. “Where on earth are we going to put all of this?” he asked. Lounging in his favorite chair, feet propped on a well-loved ottoman as he sipped a mug of spiced cider, he watched you. “And how did you manage to accumulate so many...things?”

Your answer came as a conspiratorial sort of laugh as you surveyed the mantle of their fireplace and the minimalist decor of the rest of the home. “These are things I’ve been gifted over the years. Some, I’ve had since I was a little girl.” you spoke slowly, thoughtfully, as you carefully unwrapped delicate figurines, charming knick-knacks, and scented candles, lining them up on the coffee table until you could decide where to place them. “Some are gifts from friends...colleagues...ex boyfriends…” The last words spoken earned you an arched brow and a deep frown, which you answered with a cheeky smile. “I’m just kidding, Hiromi. I wouldn’t keep such things.”

“I see your sense of humor is suffering from all the giddiness you’re caught up in,” was his reply.

You bounced up from the couch and threw yourself into his lap, linking your arms around his neck. Bringing your face mere inches from his, you grew serious, your eyes dancing, sparkling in the dim light of your living room. When you spoke, your voice was low, an over-the-top sensual whisper. “You know you love it.”

He closed the distance between you and claimed your mouth with his, then; a slow, exploratory sort of kiss, one that left you breathless and dizzy. Hiromi had kissed you hundreds of times before, but you never quite got used to the rush you felt with each silken slide of his lips upon yours. 

“I have to put up these decorations,” you breathed when you parted, your fingertips trailing across his cheek as your eyes remained locked, his warm breath blowing softly against your mouth.

“Of course. Don’t go blaming me for getting distracted, though.”

After another quick, short kiss, you slipped away from him and set about your work while Hiromi took it upon himself to fan out the branches of your artificial tree. Grand, tall, and full– with pre-lit branches and a realistic charm– it stood proudly in the middle of the large picture window of their living room. Together, you hung bulbs, garland, and sentimental ornaments, while festive music played in the background. 

Later, over takeout paired with expensive wine, you asked him, “What do you want for Christmas, Hiromi?”

It took him two fork-fulls of food and a sip of wine to answer while he pondered. you watched him curiously, legs crossed, chin in your hands, the smile on your face revealing your quiet anticipation to his reply.

“I already have what I wanted,” he stated simply after touching a cloth napkin to the corners of his mouth. 

You pouted and fluffed the rice on your plate. “You’re no fun. Tell me. Isn’t there something you’ve been longing for?”

If you hadn’t been studying him so intently, you would have missed the subtle change in his expression, the rush of color to his otherwise even complexion. He cleared his throat and stood from the table, walking around it to stand in front of your, hand extended in an invitation.

Confused, curious, you laid your hand in his and allowed him to pull you to your feet and fold you in his arms. Thumb and forefinger lifted your chin so that he could look upon you with such intense affection that it made you misty-eyed. “Hiromi…?”

“You.”

“What?”

He sighed and hugged your close, swaying side to side while the music you had put on earlier continued to play. “It’s you. And now that you’re here, I can’t think of anything else I want,” he confessed, sifting your hair through his fingers. “But if you insist on giving me a gift…” he backed away from you, threading his fingers through yours and leading you toward your Christmas tree. You followed, sliding your stocking feet playfully along the wood floor; you would swear you felt his hand tremble when he released yours to pluck a small, red box tied with a simple white ribbon from atop the branches of the tree. your mouth fell open as you watched him place it into the palm of your hand. “Open it,” he implored, softly.

“But it’s not Christmas yet…” you murmured. He pressed a finger against your lips and shook his head.

“Just open the box.”

You obeyed; slowly, deliberately, you untied the delicate ribbon and opened the box to reveal a ring bearing the largest diamond you had ever laid eyes on. Hiromi lifted the ring from its pillow and sank to his knee in front of you. 

“Will you give me the gift of being at your side for the rest of our lives?”

Hand clapped over your mouth, tears blurring your vision, you nodded furiously and watched with rapt attention as he slid the ring onto your finger. He stood and curled his fingers around your wrist, pulling your hand away from your mouth to kiss you, his own eyes damp with tears of relief, of overwhelming joy. 

~

Late that evening, you stood together in the church of your youth– a stone cathedral with impressive stained-glass windows and aglow with candlelight, the ethereal sounds of a choir reverberating throughout the cavernous space. You sang the words to the carols you’d known since you was a little girl, Hiromi’s slightly out of tune baritone accompanying you quietly. Outside, the snow fell, blanketing the world in a pristine layer of glittering white. 

In the warmth of the candlelight, you studied your ring– the symbol of Hiromi’s devotion to you. On the way to the church, you had talked about a Christmas wedding– next year, of course– and walked through the snow bundled in your winter coats, your excited laughter and breath visible as plumes of white against the indigo night. 

“I love you,” you whispered when the hymn was over, just as the strains of the great pipe organ faded and the choir intoned their last note. 

He turned to you and smiled, and for a moment, you thought your heart might stop.

“I love you, too.”

[genericpuff]

The Extended Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Finale Premiere

Alright, so I had mentioned leading up to the release of the newest LO episode that my feelings regarding LO returning were pretty "meh". Not hyped, but not completely back of mind either. Just sort of a weird calm before the storm type feeling that could go either way.

I'm glad I got to have that moment of calmness because good god, this episode was an absolute shitshow. And honestly, I'm not surprised, for several reasons:

Rachel has never been good at maintaining a buffer, even back at the start of the series she only ever had 2-3 episodes ready ahead of her schedule which is NOT an ideal buffer for an originals series.

Rachel has never been good at writing, she's very "draw first write later" and has stated as such in interviews that when she gets 'stuck' on what she's writing, she'll just start drawing and fit the pieces in later.

Four months is NOT enough time to both rest, attend massive conventions, and work on improving a project while also getting buffer episodes ready.

Because of the FP episodes remaining locked over the hiatus, technically Rachel only needed to have ONE episode ready upon return for the newest FP release, not multiple like she'd usually need like in the past during the S2 midseason hiatus or the season finale episodes which would unlock those FP releases like normal - so for all we know, she could have drawn this episode literally last week, especially when the promo material was so last minute. Frankly I think it was REALLY stupid for whoever it was who decided to keep these FP episodes locked (whether it was her or WT, it was more likely WT) but you can read all I have to say about that in my review of the midseason finale episodes.

All that's to say, no, there was never any guarantee Rachel was going to somehow "turn around" the ride we're currently on. I know that many of the critics were hoping for that to happen, but with the circumstances of the hiatus mixed with Rachel's bad habits of putting her best efforts into the procrastination projects that aren't her actual comic (ex. the few original pieces and LO sketches she put out during the hiatus) it just wasn't in the cards. This is where the comic is at and this is where it will remain until it's over.

I want to also point something out about this episode that was... really glaring to me.

As with all of these hiatus returns, LO got priority advertising in the first two banner slots and push notifications AND a popup ad within the app. This is unsurprising, Webtoons is still trying to milk this thing for what it's worth.

I know a lot of people are gonna focus on the art, or the fact that WT is continuing to shill LO, but I wanna point out the part that WT implemented specifically - "NEW SEASON".

This is literally just false. At best I'd like to think some intern just messed up and thought this was a new season, but it's literally not, the episode designation still says "S3". Note that the creators only design the banner art, the actual labels on top are put there by Webtoons.

But at worst, this feels like blatant lying to continue to hide the fact that LO is ending. Mind you, Rachel and Webtoons have still not put out official posts stating that this is the final arc. There is NOTHING from either of them to communicate to the audience that the comic is ending next year. It feels like they're trying to avoid the topic altogether out of fear of losing the fanbase they still have, rather than hyping up the comic's end for those who have stuck around to see how it all wraps up. And honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case, considering they're now trying to funnel the fanbase into Penguin/Inklore with new marketing deals and the whole Rachel Smythe Presents thing. They're trying to make this seem like the beginning of something "new" when it's really just a quiet shifting of management (Penguin House).

But all that aside, let's actually get into the episode. It's one episode after 4 months, which is not standard for LO's hiatuses, typically FP episodes release on schedule (meaning free readers start hiatuses 3 weeks after FP readers do), the only time this has been an exception has been with the 2 week breaks because the whole point of those was to build a buffer (which you can't do if you're going ahead and releasing the FP episodes anyways). For extended hiatuses like these, usually free readers still get their FP episodes, but that wasn't the case here. That means Rachel technically only needed one episode ready for the comic's return, and it shows. It really fucking shows.

FROM HERE ON OUT THERE WILL BE FASTPASS SPOILERS REGARDING EPISODE 254. DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED !!!

As per tradition, we get a title that means nothing at all. It just says what we already know.

Our collective husband Zeus is dying, no thanks to the poison cupcake fed to him by Apollo. For those who don't remember, Apollo had tricked Zeus into eating the cupcake by making him believe it was from Hebe. We are fully aware that it was Apollo who poisoned him. Remember that for later in this review.

Right off the bat we're off to a hilarious start, both with a cryptid appearance from Apollo in the background (lmao) who is, for some reason, ALREADY returning to the scene of the crime he just committed because... who knows at this point. Apollo and Psyche know it was Apollo at this point, I might add, but I have no clue why Apollo is actually returning to the scene of the crime when he has no idea Eros and Psyche know.

Moving on from that, can we talk about this hilarious dialogue?

"We have to call a doctor! Let's call Asclepius!"

"No, we can't trust him! Gosh darn it, why are we only bothering to think of ONE doctor in this universe where we've seen more than one doctor?? Guess Zeus is just gonna die! What a horribly contrived situation this is!"

And that's literally how I can best describe most of this episode. Contrived. There is a LOT of manufactured drama in this that makes ZERO sense even on a surface level.

And what do you mean exactly, Eros? "What a terrible system!" Is this supposed to be a joke? Lampshading? We've seen Persephone go to the gynecologist. There are non-god doctors who tend to gods all the time here.

Eros just doesn't seem to be that pressed over this, he sounds like Ned Flanders and that's NOT a good way to open up a scene like this... let alone an episode people have been waiting four months for.

Anyways, after a few pointless reaction panels (again remember I have to cut a lot of what I show here for Tumblr image limitations but I promise you, I'm keeping as much important stuff as I can in this, there's just THAT MUCH filler at this point), Eros and Psyche confront Apollo and he is... good god.

There is... so much to unpack here.

First of all, remember those theories about how Rachel was clearly trying to write Apollo as this "secret twist villain" the whole time but it doesn't work because Apollo is simultaneously written as both a 'conniving villain' and a massive dumbass at the same time?

Well, I finally have a more appropriate term for him. He's your average red pill redditor - someone who thinks he's smarter than everyone else when really all he does is sit on reddit all day using big words incorrectly in arguments he gets himself into with a bunch of equally-air-headed dumbasses.

"You can't possibly understand the nuances of the Olympian political system," Apollo said proudly, a man who had, ironically and obliviously, run for president in a monarchy. The union of kettle and pot is eternal.

He's the Slappable Jerk but instead of it being a painfully hilarious impression, it's just painful and hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

this is so stupid because it's 1.) Eros pointing out how obvious Apollo's plan was, despite Apollo acting smart two seconds ago with a goddess who, mind you, has been a goddess for ten years, and 2.) patricide isn't even intrinsically linked to politics, there's nothing 'political' about a guy trying to kill his dad except in, idk, a monarchy, which again, Apollo has spent ten years trying to rise to power in as a president which is a completely different form of government.

If I wanted to be really granular with this, I'd like to think Apollo is making some kind of point about the critics who call out LO's whack as fuck political system (especially in the trial arc) - as if he's saying "well you're just a stupid reader and this is fantasy where you don't understand exactly what political system we're using, so shut the fuck up you stupid twig" - but I don't think it's meant to be that deep. I think it's just Rachel trying to write a smart character and then failing at it because she, herself, is not a smart writer. And I'm really inclined to believe that more than the theory about this being some kind of meta-narrative about the critics because this entire plotline is contrived and stupid down to its core.

I did not cut anything out here, that's the pacing. Leto literally just appears out of nowhere and uh oh spaghettio's, she has Kassandra! Remember Leto? The character we were led to believe was truly "pulling the strings" until she disappeared from the story completely after she realized that Apollo and Persephone weren't a thing, even going so far as to call out her own son for being a fucking dumbass? Well, she's back and once again she's being involved as some kind of "double agent" in this whole thing, even though we literally haven't seen her since halfway through S2.

"Mm yes, you're so stupid, falling into my trap! Even though you had no reason to remember Kassandra anyways because she's literally a mortal woman you just met and you yourself have committed acts of violence against mortals without a shred of care! I'm so smart! My plan is all coming together!"

We've never seen Apollo do anything except cry and poop his pants, the closest he got to being "powerful" was his attempts to murder Daphne (who he seems to have forgotten about in this "master plan" of his) but ultimately he's literally just a piss ant baby and there's no reason to believe that he could somehow outmatch the God of Love who can literally manipulate people's emotions and states of mind with his arrows. But yeah sure go off, you're so powerful and smart.

The worst part is, I can't even buy this as the narrative trying to be like "see how manipulative and conniving he is?" because it's just silly. We've SEEN this man cry with his victim complex, we've seen him say and do the DUMBEST things that don't lend to any amount of "intelligence" he may have, it comes across less as him being "smart the whole time" and more as him trying to sound smart but ultimately sounding incredibly stupid. And I can't even immerse myself into it and buy that maybe that's the point, because it doesn't feel like the point, it just feels like inconsistent writing, he doesn't feel like a 'threat', he's just monologuing.

Bad art and Apollo literally just repeating what Leto already implied so this is a waste of the audience's time.

This is the funniest panel in the whole episode because I can't tell if Apollo is supposed to be in the background (for some reason, despite him literally being in front of Eros and Psyche two seconds ago) or if he's in the foreground and just REALLY small for some reason. This is so off-putting. And of course, it's just Apollo explaining what we're ALREADY SEEING ONSCREEN.

You see, in addition to this episode being contrived, it also talks down to its audience a LOT by explaining exactly what we're seeing onscreen. It's like Rachel saw the criticisms about her not including enough to depict what's actually going on in her head and so she thought the solution was to spoon feed information over pictures that are already doing the job of explaining what's going on. Rachel really doesn't know how to write and even when she tries to implement changes that reflect criticisms that have been made of her writing, she somehow makes things worse because she completely misses the point of what those criticisms are trying to get across.

Anyways, without even trying to resist (for some reason) Eros and Psyche get sentenced to horny jail.

They're now trapped in a basement that Leto somehow has in her home. How do we know that?

HAHAHA FUNNY LAMPSHADING SO FUNNNYYYYYYY

Leto claims that they shouldn't try to escape because the dungeon is "enchanted", but she doesn't even bother to explain what that means. So they literally don't bother trying. They don't try to call her bluff, they don't try to teleport out of there, they literally just go "well shoot", shrug their shoulders, and accept their fate. Just like with the whole "we can't trust the only doctor we bothered to think of" situation, Eros and Psyche are turning out to be some of the stupidest, lowest-effort characters in this comic who literally can't be bothered to try because that would require too much brain power.

Notice how much time we've spent on this and we haven't gotten back to where the cliffhanger of the last episode left off? Well buckle up because there's still more to cover.

So it turns out Hebe was still inside with her dad, in FULL VIEW of what was going on through glass which is somehow COMPLETELY soundproof, and when Apollo steps inside, she just has no idea what happened. She never bothered to even look outside to see what was going on with Eros and Psyche, she's just been sitting on the floor staring at Zeus' dead face for what was likely several minutes, unless Rachel is seriously trying to convince us that conversation and hostage negotiation from earlier only took 2 seconds. The timeline is such a mess at this point that characters basically freeze in place as soon as they're not the focus of the scene.

Apollo rushes inside, acting shocked over the situation, and when Hebe asks where Eros and Psyche are (again, she could have just looked out the window at any time), he's just like "dur idk they just left lol" which Hebe just... buys, I guess.

That's just Persephone but yellow. She's even missing her beauty mark.

See how Apollo put his hand on Zeus' chest/shoulder by the way?

Apparently, despite Mr. Smarter Than Everyone Else trying to pretend it wasn't him, he's able to discern that Zeus is dying from a toxic and rare poison just from touching him. He doesn't even really seem to use his powers, he just touches him and goes "welp he's dead i guess lol don't bother asking me how I know that".

But oh nooo remember that note from before? Well gasp Apollo's gonna use it to frame Hebe! In front of no one else at all!

Hebe of course says she didn't write it, but Apollo continues to try and frame her anyways, even though, again, there's no one else present here, and so it effectively just becomes the most absurd form of gaslighting I've ever seen.

Again, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE HERE IN THE SCENE. He's just trying to claim she did it to absolutely no one at all, in the hopes of... what exactly? That she'll just take the fall for something she knows she didn't do? That she'll somehow be convinced? It's not like Hebe has the same thing going on as Persephone where she has a 'wrathful dark side' he could pin it on, this is just a criminal who just robbed a building pointing at the first person they see and yelling "YOU DID IT!"

All I'm saying is that Apollo would be really bad at Among Us. He'd be the type of player to kill someone, hit the report button, then claim yellow did it which, even if he DID convince the rest of the team, would still get kicked anyways as soon as yellow was proven through the eject to not be the imp and everyone would go "okay cool so yellow wasn't the imp, that means obviously it's purple self-reporting." It's a trick that doesn't even work anymore because of how old it is. Hebe isn't a child here, she's an 18 year old woman who should be fully capable of raising an eyebrow and wondering why Apollo is this quick to accuse her - almost like he's trying to hide the fact that he did it.

But Hebe can't catch onto this, just like Eros and Psyche, she has to act stupid for the sake of the plot.

At first I thought maybe Rachel was trying to do some "whodunit" scenario, but that doesn't work here because we already know who did it. And while there are stories that exist like that that pull it off (ex. Knives Out) the problem with trying to do this the way Rachel did is that the person being framed has to have this thing called motive. The reason why Knives Out and Glass Onion work so well is because the person who was murdered (or conspired against) is someone who is being targeted by multiple people who could all be the murderer. It's quite literally called out in Glass Onion as a form of smart lampshading. "It's like putting a loaded gun on the table, and turning off the lights."

But it doesn't work here because Hebe does not have motive. If you're going to attempt to frame a murder on someone, it has to be someone who would have reasonable motive to commit that murder, even if they didn't actually commit it.

And who among Zeus' children has motive?

What about the war-mongering bloodthirsty god of war who has been regularly sentenced to time in the Mortal Realm to fight in wars in which he's been regularly injured?

What about the chaos-seeking wrathful goddess who would do it to get revenge on the parental figure who cast her aside, or even just for the fun of saying she did it?

Why try and pin it on Hebe, the doting daughter of Zeus who's only had a collective of maybe 20 panels in the entire comic?

But then I realized... it's not Knives Out, it's the fucking Lion King.

Which is just as contrived - if not more - than the assumption this was gonna be some attempt to frame Hebe. It's not. He's literally just trying to keep her from assuming it was him. He could have just as easily played dumb without calling attention to the note but he intentionally went out of his way to try and be Scar from The Lion King , while completely missing the point of why that scene worked in the original movie.

Scar wasn't trying to 'frame' Simba for Mufasa's murder. He was trying to hide the murder, while also attempting to get the only heir to the throne out of the picture, so he passed the guilt of the death onto Simba - a child who, unlike Hebe, wouldn't have the ability to rationalize or realize his uncle his a scumbag - who then ran away from home because he was too terrified to face his family for what happened, assuming that it was all his fault when it wasn't.

That's not how this is panning out here. Hebe is the now 18 year old daughter of Zeus, and not one of his only children. She doesn't even fit into the whole "sons overthrowing their fathers" prophecy like Aries would. Apollo is literally just being a big idiot here by saying "well I'm gonna give you a headstart to run away, because if you stay, I might hurt you" (which btw, should be MORE of a smoking gun that Apollo did it??)

And again, it's all so contrived so that the plot can move forward. "Well I'm going to frame you for this murder, but y'know, you should just leave, I'm not gonna try and press it further lmao"

Again, Apollo is a fucking idiot here, because he just attempted to frame someone who has NO MOTIVE to harm Zeus, to absolutely NO ONE at all who would side with him, only to let her go which would leave her to question why Apollo would try to accuse and harm her in the first place before considering other options. And through ALL this he claims he's the smart one, which I can't even be bothered to "love to hate" because it's written so poorly.

And really it all comes down to how everyone else behaves in relation to Apollo that makes it so stupid and unbelievable. Apollo, you're not smart just because all the characters around you are intentionally being written to be as stupid and non-confrontation as possible. If you can only write a smart villain by making everyone else stupid, you haven't written a smart villain, you've written a dumbass whose victory only happens due to contrived plot convenience. It's not even done well like in Glass Onion, it's just bad writing, full stop.

And who does he call to report this emergency? The satyr police? His son the doctor?

No.

The media. Literally just "hello, the media?? I need your best journalist here stat!"

I need you to understand, even if he were calling a tabloid magazine like The Weekly Nark, you don't just... call a journalist to report a murder. These are not the actions of someone who's trying to absolve himself of guilt, these are the actions of a complete dumbass trying to get news coverage of his trophy kill who would be better off just playing dumb instead of trying to play smart. Even Walter White wasn't this fucking stupid despite all the times he fell on his own sword, Apollo is literally just instigating suspicion towards himself for no reason at all. He's self-reporting so hard and worst of all, you can't even take any of this seriously because of how corny it is. There's no dramatic tension, no stakes, it's just a bunch of characters performing in a really bad stage play and reducing every conflict to "well I guess Zeus is just dead now because no one's bothering to make an effort to stop Apollo or ask questions lmao"

It's truly the epitome of "this plot wouldn't exist if characters would just talk to each other."

But finally, FINALLY we mention the thing this episode is named after, the transition point to Persephone.

Just like with the midseason finale episode, there's a lot to cover here, so I'm gonna get more into it in a part two post.

That said, you can see already this is the messiest, most contrived bullshit to ever wind up in LO. It's trying so hard to be smart and it just comes across as a bunch of toddlers in the world's worst stage play rendition of Clue. None of what was done here was in any way dramatic or tense, it's just a bunch of characters infodumping shit we already know, trying to set up new plot threads that don't make any sense, and allowing one another to get away with what they're doing because they don't bother to even try.

It's completely manufactured, contrived nonsense. It's not "smart", it's not "so dumb it's brilliant", it's just dumb.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Imagines Edition: Misconduct

SERIES MASTERLIST

summary: trevor gets ejected from the last game of the season, so y/n goes to deal with the damage

warnings: cursing, not so fluffy but there is some ish

word count: ~1k

you were out of your seat the second the scrum in front of the bench ensued. you loved a good fight, and frankly, trevor had every right to retaliate. it was no longer exciting when you saw trevor still arguing with the linesman in the box. last time he did that he ended up with a two minute unsportsmanlike misconduct, so you could only imagine what price was being set for him to pay.

the second trevor was escorted out of the box you knew you had to go see him to try and settle some of the dust. you got up and barely said a word to jamie, but you knew he was following you to ensure no one stopped you from getting back there.

“are you gonna-“

“you don’t wanna know, drysdale,” you cut him off.

“i’m staying outside?”

“you’re staying outside,” you confirmed.

trevor was going to be mad. you were going to be there for him, and you were going to be sweet, but first you had to dial him down. you couldn’t gauge the situation yet, but you were prepared for the worst.

you didn’t bother knocking, because if he was 0.2 seconds away from exploding, a knock wasn’t going to be heard.

“trevor zegras, what in the name of hell happened out there?!” you shouted as you flew open the door. trevor whipped his head around over to you. he was still in his jersey and pads, but his bucket and gloves had been thrown into his stall.

“what happened out there?! you saw what happened out there! i was checked and ended up with a penalty! the linesman—“

“i saw the shove, z! i get it, i really do. but you still fought, and that’s what gave you the roughing minor! which isn’t a big deal! danault got two for roughing with you! i don’t know what the fuck grant did, but at least he accepted his!”

“i didn’t—“

“uh huh, no sir, i am not finished!” you growled. trevor was still fuming, but he stood down. “what happened to the heart to heart with dallas, huh? you came home and had one with me about cutting down on your penalty minutes, too! tripping, hooking, interference, i don’t care about those! i know i post about your penalties and cheer for the fights; and fights are okay, they happen. it’s the arguing with the linesman and refs that is getting you in trouble and puts a damper on your name.”

“i know that,” trevor sighed, finally sitting down.

“do you? do you know how much it hurts seeing people talk shit about you online? calling you immature? when older players act the way you do, it’s encouraged. but you know what they don’t frequently do? argue with linesman. get multiple unsportsmanlike misconducts. you deserve to be angry right now, but you need to realize that the second half of what you did tonight was not okay. you are one of the best people i know, and have been since the day i met you. you can be sweet and nice! i’ve seen you have casual conversations with linesman! but they pick on you and give you extra penalties that might not be deserved because of this reputation you’re building.”

trevor didn’t answer. he saw in his stall with his head down, hands clasped, and right knee shaking like a storm. you sighed and knelt down in front of him.

“can i touch you?” you asked gently. you took his hands and pulled them apart to hold them in your own when he nodded. “i’m upset with you. i’m not mad, but i’m not all that happy. and i hate that you’re angry right now because this isn’t how your last game of the season should be and i’m so sorry that it is. you deserve better than this, my love, but to get better, you have to be better.”

trevor squeezed your hands and nodded.

“i know,” he said low.

“can i sit next to you? or are you still cooling off and need me in front of you?”

“i want you to sit next to me.”

you squeezed his hands again as you stood up. trevor scooted over in his stall and put his head on your shoulder the second you sat down. it was a bit uncomfortable with his shoulder pads, but it was worth it. you traced up and down the veins on his arms and breathed with him in silence to help him calm down.

hearing the silence, jamie took the risk of cracking open the door, “hey, is everything okay? jonesy and carrick have been out here for a while now.”

“what the hell did they do?” you laughed.

“we fought a little too much!” you heard jonesy yell, getting a laugh out of you.

you allowed the three of them to enter, giving a kiss to your boyfriend’s cheek as you got up to allow the boys to do whatever they needed in the locker room in peace.

“do we get kisses, too?” jonesy joked. you rolled your eyes and stood on your toes to kiss both of the newly ejected ducks, and gave one to jamie, too, before slipping out.

“will we make the post?!” carrick called out.

“you’ll make the caption!” you yelled back.

all you heard were the cheers and high fives as you walked out the door. it was a mess of a season, and this was a mess of a night, but at least your boys had their team.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Something There (Chapter 12)

6.8k words

Roy Kent x Reader

Warnings: Language, fluff, references to smutty things, absolute fluffy fluff

Series Masterlist

A/N: This has... taken a while, lol. Honestly, I've been struggling with how to end this, mostly because I don't want to say goodbye to Roy and Bucky! But, all good (or at least halfway decent) things must come to an end. (Plus, I already know there'll be some blurbs featuring these two!) I hope you enjoy, and thanks for coming along for the ride ❤️

“What would you say is your greatest accomplishment?”

Roy nodded towards me and smirked. “Can I answer for her?”

Another “Manager Monday”. Apparently, people liked seeing Roy and me sitting together and answering questions. According to Keeley, the internet referred to us as the “Mum and Dad” of Nelson Road. It was weird and a little flattering, if I was being honest. And, frankly, getting to goof around and not-so-subtly flirt with Roy on camera during work hours was a pretty good deal.

“No, you cannot,” Keeley chuckled. “Go on then, greatest accomplishment.”

“Winning my Olympic Gold Medal,” I answered, elbowing Roy when I heard his good-natured snicker. “It was something my grandpa and I talked about for as long as I can remember. And he did come see me win it. After that, whenever he introduced me to people, it was always, ‘This is my granddaughter. She’s an Olympian.’” I smiled at the memory before turning to Roy. “What’s yours? That year you led the league in red cards?”

Roy’s smile had my heart doing somersaults. “You fucking know it.”

With lots of laughter and poor attempts to hide our flirting, we got through a couple more soccer-related questions before Keeley broached the topic we both knew she was dying to get to.

“So, the internet has been debating between two couple names for you two,” she announced mischievously. “‘Boy’ and ‘Rocky’. Which do you prefer?”

Roy rolled his eyes. “Keeley,” he growled, as I snorted, “We’re not answering that.”

While we were more than happy to let our friends at Nelson Road know about our relationship and annoy them with our PDA, we had agreed not to make any big public show of things- at least not until the season ended. We were enough of a distraction when we were just a few blurry photos the night of the gala; we didn’t want to take away any more media attention from the club, not when our teams were on the verge of something great.

Keeley rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. But once you two go public, you know better get used to those questions, alright? Because you guys are really fucking cute, and the internet loves you already.”

“We are pretty cute, I’ll give you that,” I chuckled, taking Roy’s hand and smiling at the grumpy coach- my grumpy coach.

In return, he leaned over and pecked my lips gently. “That better not fucking end up online,” he warned Keeley, thick eyebrows raised threateningly.

“We’d break the internet with that little kiss,” she teased, winking at me. “Better be nice to me, or I’m leaking that clip.”

“Careful,” Roy replied with a nod in my direction, affection sparkling in his eyes. “I heard this one’s got a mean right hook.”

~

Roy leaned on the doorframe, enjoying the view. Who would’ve thought that just watching someone put on makeup would make him so fucking happy?

But seeing her standing in front of his bathroom sink and applying that red lipstick had his heart skipping a couple beats. He liked this domestic thing, the sleepovers and the driving to work together and the making dinner and… everything. He wanted more of it, he realized. He wanted more of her. The word was on the tip of his tongue, the word that had been floating around in his head since they got together, since the gala if he was being honest. Maybe even before that, he didn't fucking know. But it was too soon, he knew. Things were already going fast enough and, although she was diving in headfirst just as hard, Roy was still worried about scaring her off.

Her playful eyes met his in the mirror. “Can I help you, Kent?” she teased.

He shrugged and pushed himself off the doorframe so he could stroll over casually. “Just admiring the view.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a slow kiss to her cheek. “I like when you wear that color.” Another kiss to her temple. “Especially when it ends up on my neck,” he hummed.

“Fuck off,” she chuckled, elbowing him gently. “Come on, let me finish getting ready. Otherwise, you’re going to be late to your game, Coach.”

“Fine,” he growled. “But after the match?”

She whirled around and grabbed his face gently, her eyes bright. “After the match, I promise my lipstick will be all over your neck.” She pressed her body close to his. “And maybe some other particular places.” Her red lips formed that smirk he loved, the one he couldn’t believe he used to find annoying. “But only if you win.”

Roy grinned, eyebrows raised at her appealing offer. “Well, lucky for me I’m the manager of a winning team.”

“That is lucky,” she purred, nudging her nose against his. “Now then, can I go put on my new Greyhounds kit?”

His grin widened. “You got a fucking Greyhounds kit?”

She shrugged. “Of course. I’m part of Richmond. I like the fellas. And I’m pretty obsessed with their pain in the ass manager.” She smiled. “It’s about time I start rocking some Greyhound gear.”

Roy’s heart was soaring. He loved wearing her name and number on his back, even if it made their relationship obvious to anyone who was paying even an ounce of attention. And he’d be lying his ass off if he said he hadn’t pictured what she’d look like wearing his name on a kit. Granted, some of those pictures in his head were in his bed rather than at a match, but still. What a fucking dream come true.

“Alright,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Hurry up then, Coach.”

Roy probably would have skipped to the living room if it weren’t for this shit knee. With no one around, he didn’t bother hiding his stupid grin, the one he found himself wearing quite often these days. The internet had gone a bit wild with images of him wearing her name on his Whippets kit; he could only imagine the silly little fan edits and TikToks that would surely follow this match.

“What d’you think?”

Roy’s old man heart nearly stopped in his chest. The bright red and blue material hugged her figure perfectly, tempting him to rip it off of her and forget all about his match. The little Greyhound logo settled beautifully over her heart, just like the Whippets manager had weaseled her way into his. He was officially obsessed with the picture in front of him, he decided.

“Fucking perfect,” he hummed. He twirled his finger in a circle, eyebrows raised. He just needed to see one more thing. “Give us a spin, then.”

Her grin widened as she turned around, something mischievous in her eyes. Roy sat up a little straighter, unashamed to be so obviously excited to see-

“Does that fucking say Tartt?” he spat, pure disgust smeared across his bearded face.

Her laughter rang in his ears, almost magical enough to make him forget about this absolute betrayal. He narrowed his eyes at her as she turned back around, shameless amusement on her face. “What’s the matter, Roy?” she teased as she made her way over to where he slumped on the couch. “Don’t you think I look good?”

He reached out and tugged her onto his lap, doing his best to keep his stern expression. “I think,” he growled against her shoulder, pawing at the material, “that you need to take that fucking thing off.”

With a giggle, she grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch, reminding Roy of the night of the gala- their very first night. “Ah, no time to change, I’m afraid.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, careful not to leave any lipstick on his face. “Let’s go, Kent.”

Still grumbling and growling, Roy allowed himself to be pulled off the couch and dragged out of the house. When she wasn’t looking, he shook his head and smiled softly at her. Even with such a stupid name on her back, Roy still thought that seeing her in a Greyhounds kit was his new favorite sight.

He just couldn’t wait to rip the damn thing off of her.

~

“Let’s fucking go, Greyhounds!” I screeched, ignoring the way Keeley covered her ears.

After everything that had happened this season, both on and off the field, it was hard to believe it was coming to an end. Tonight, the Greyhounds were only one victory away winning the Premier League. And, after weeks of wearing Jamie’s name and other players’ names on my back just to mess with Roy (and the internet), I was proudly wearing his name and our number on my Greyhounds sweatshirt.

Keeley leaned close and held out her phone. “You’re already trending,” she teased, showing off a blurry photo of Roy and me entering the stadium, with me wearing Roy’s name and my signature red lipstick as I smiled up at the Greyhound manager. “And so is this.” There was Jamie Tartt, entering the stadium, wearing a fanny pack and, as usual, a hat. Unlike usual, this hat didn’t say “ICON”; instead, it proudly proclaimed “ROCKY”.

I rolled my eyes as the guys took their places on the field. “Is that a reference to that stupid ‘couple name’ thing?” I groaned. “Because you’re all supposed to be helping us keep quiet, you know.”

The sly way Keeley narrowed her eyes had me almost squirming. “Yeah. Because the way you two act during Manager Mondays and wearing each other’s kits is really discreet.” Suddenly, her suspicious expression turned somber, giving me a new urge to fidget. “How’s it all going by the way? You and him? The two of you seem pretty damn happy these days.”

“We are,” I assured her, not bothering to stop my wide smile from filling my face. “He’s… well, you know how he is.” I gave a soft chuckle as I looked down to the pitch and watched Roy lean over to say something to Coach Beard. Perfect, I decided. That was how Roy was; perfect. From the way he stood during games, shoulders squared and all business, to the way he always stole a quick kiss when our paths crossed at work, to the way his strong hands tenderly adored me in bed, to the lazy afternoons on his couch, to the phone calls and texts that flooded my phone whenever we were apart, to the way he made me laugh and smile in between all those moments. Roy Kent was fucking perfect. “He’s Roy.”

Keeley’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. “I do know how he is,” she said carefully. The little clearing of her throat had me turning my eyes to her. Her eyebrows knitted together, as if she thought I would slug her at any moment. “And I hope this isn’t totally inappropriate, but we were talking last week- and he was saying he’s so fucking happy,” she quickly added, probably seeing my slowly raising eyebrows. “He’s just worried about being… clingy?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how completely apprehensive my friend looked. “Oh, Roy’s clingy as fuck,” I said. “But I like it.” I shrugged, my eyes returning to the gruff man on the pitch that had weaseled his way into my heart. “I… I’m clingy too,” I admitted. “I think that’s why we work, actually. We’re both pretty intense people, we both do everything at full speed, you know? So, one person’s idea of ‘too clingy’ is my idea of ‘absolutely fucking perfect’.”

The smile on Keeley’s face was filled with joy and a bit of relief. “I’m so happy to hear that,” she said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. “Really. He deserves the best and you-” She smacked a kiss to my cheek. “-are the fucking best, babes.”

~

The tips of Roy’s fingers tingled as he stared down Jamie, who was making a mad dash towards their opponent’s goal. There were only moments left before stoppage time ended in a tie and the match inevitably went to extra time, which had been a dangerous place for the Greyhounds all season long. If Jamie couldn’t beat both the clock and goalkeeper, it felt like their season would end in defeat. And Roy couldn’t have that. Not this season. Not when everything seemed to be ending so well, on and off the pitch.

Only one defender stood between Jamie and the goal. Roy held his breath as he watched Jamie move this way and that, doing a maneuver he knew Tartt hadn’t learned from any of the coaches on the pitch; he’d learned this particular move from the Whippets. And he’d apparently learned it well, because suddenly Jamie was in front of the goal, kicking the ball and-

“JAMIE TARTT SCORES!”

Less than a moment later, the familiar sound of the referee’s whistle had all of Nelson Road in pure pandemonium. Roy sprinted onto the field, not caring about his stupid knee, and was instantly swallowed by the swarm of blue that was his team. He grabbed and hugged whoever was close by, not caring to see anything other than their wide eyes and wider smiles. He wondered ever so briefly if anything in his career would ever live up to this moment; he knew nothing before ever had. And, if he was being quite honest, he could live with this being the happiest moment of his career.

He was hugging Jamie tight, mumbling something about being fucking proud of the prick, when he heard some of his players call his name in teasing voices. He knew those tones; he’d been hearing them a lot lately, caused by one thing- well, one person- every fucking time.

Sure enough, when Roy glanced over his shoulder, the sight made his smile grow.

There she was, clad in her Greyhounds sweater, running at him. He knew she’d regret this run in the morning- they’d probably spend the whole next day icing ankles and knees- but she didn’t look like she cared. In fact, she looked like she didn’t care about anything other than Roy.

She threw herself into his arms and let him envelop her in a tight hug, one far too tight for two platonic managers to share.

“I’m proud of you,” she huffed into the crook of his neck. “So fucking proud, Roy.”

He released her slightly so she could gaze up at him, her eyes full of adoration and joy. Deep in his chest, Roy held a hope that she would stare at him like this for the rest of their lives. “Fucking come here,” he murmured, his hands leaving her hips to cup her face.

At some point over the season, Roy had lost count of how many times he’d kissed this woman. There were some kisses that were irrevocably stamped on his heart- their first kiss while sitting on his couch listening to Sam Cooke, the kiss in the rain after he’d given her the Team USA football, the sweet kiss they’d shared after he asked her to be his girlfriend- but this was probably his favorite so far. It was soft and slow, and it made the roar of the crowd go silent in Roy’s mind. He knew there was no going back from this; there would be photos of this kiss in the papers, and he’d definitely be asked about it in the post-match press conference. They’d once again be the subject of rumors and speculation, with Twitter users trying to put together a timeline and reanalyzing every little interaction they’d had over these last few months. It was going to be pure fucking hell.

But thankfully, his own personal heaven was in his arms.

When they parted, she wore a wide grin, the kind that made his heart skip a beat. “Congrats on the win, Coach,” she chuckled as she ruffled his hair. “Can’t believe you guys beat us to it.” She kissed his lips effortlessly, as if she kissed him on the pitch every day. “Whatever happened to ladies first?”

Roy shook his head and tightened his grip on her. “Just means the Whippets get to be the grand finale.”

“Grand finale,” she repeated, giving his jacket a tug to pull him back to herself. “I like the sound of that, Kent.”

Roy could’ve stayed on that pitch forever, holding her and kissing her, finally able to show everyone how he felt about her and how she miraculously felt about him. The feeling of winning the whole fucking thing, and having his girl in his arms, and hearing his team shout and celebrate, it was intoxicating as hell.

But, as Keeley reminded him with a giggle, there was pomp and circumstance to get through.

His whole body shook with excitement as he stood by Rebecca’s side and received the trophy. In the smiling crowd, he locked gazes with those familiar eyes. Could his smile get any bigger? he wondered. Surely that would be the morning headline: Richmond’s Roy Kent finally knows how to smile. And damn, if it wasn’t something he wanted to keep doing.

Once things began to die down on the pitch, Keeley began herding him towards the press conference he still had to do before celebrating with the team. He kept an arm wrapped around the Whippet’s manager as he finally made his way through the halls, to the familiar door that led to the press room. He paused in front of it, thinking about all the less-than-stellar moments he’d had in there. Announcing his retirement. Watching Jamie have a meltdown. Throwing a chair at George fucking Willows after being asked about Keeley. Being asked intrusive questions about his love life and the drama of this season. Some crappy things happened in that room, he admitted to himself.

But today? Today he walked in with his head held high; for the first time in a long time, Roy Kent felt nothing but good about himself and his life. His team was officially the best in the Premier League, and he had the girl of his dreams to kiss after the match. He allowed himself a smile as he settled in front of the cameras, enjoying the surprise on the reporters’ faces when they caught sight of his expression. In the back of the room, Keeley gave him a thumbs up before wrapping her arm around the Whippets’ manager, who shot him a wink that had his stupid grin widening.

Yeah. This might be the best fucking day of his whole fucking life.

The clamoring began before he even sat down. Roy rolled his eyes, albeit good-naturedly for once, and pointed to a familiar face, a reporter he didn’t fully hate. “Yeah?”

“Coach Kent, how does it feel to lead the Greyhounds to do the impossible?”

Roy leaned into his seat, determined to at least look relaxed. “Feels fucking great,” he said. “And I’m going to ignore that ‘impossible’ thing.” He smirked at the tittering from the reporters. “Because honestly, this team is fucking incredible. And anyone who thought this was ‘impossible’ for those lads hasn’t been paying attention.” After answering a few questions about the season and the match, he could see the journalists beginning to get restless. It was clear what they would be asking next. He pointed to another raised hand. “You.”

“A certain coach had an… interesting way of congratulating you,” the reporter asked in a timid voice. “Anything to say about that?”

For a moment, he glanced to the back of the room. Not to Keeley, like he usually did during these things, but to the pair of eyes that gazed back with a beautiful mixture of adoration and teasing. Another wink encouraged him to lean forward on his elbows and ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. “There’s a lot I can say about that,” he chuckled. “But, all I will say is this-” He looked directly at those bright eyes. “-I’m fucking mad about that woman. She seems to think I’m alright, which is nice. And she continues to be one of the most impressive managers I’ve had the honor of watching on the pitch. And I am looking forward to seeing her and the Whippets kick some serious ass next weekend.”

More questions were hurled at him, mostly excited and kind ones, but Roy didn’t really hear them. He was too focused on trying not to simply sit and stare at that pretty face that smiled at him and made him feel like he’d won more than the Premier League.

~

I pulled my dark blue blazer on and turned to get a good look at myself in the mirror. Dark blue blazer, white blouse, best jeans, hair up in a ponytail, red lipstick applied, necklace my grandfather had given me around my neck. This was it, I decided. This was the outfit of a Women’s Super League-winning coach.

“You look fucking amazing.” A pair of strong arms wrapped around me as a scruffy kiss smacked my cheek. “Like a fucking winner.” Roy smirked at me in the mirror. He looked damn good in his white Whippets kit, the number six on his back and something that kind of looked like love in his eyes. If my entire season wasn’t on the line, I’d be debating ripping off that jersey and throwing Roy onto the bed. “Gonna wear your gold medal?” he teased.

With an eyeroll, I slipped out of his grasp and sat on my bed. “Just toss me my sneakers, Kent.”

Roy raised an eyebrow as he moved towards my familiar Converse that sat perfectly next to the closet. “Wow, I get to touch the Match Day shoes? What an honor.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled as I took the shoes from him and tugged them on. “I’m hoping your luck from last weekend rubs off on me and the Whippets.” I knew that underneath my joking tone, he could hear my nerves. Roy always seemed to know what was going on beneath the surface.

Sure enough, he sat down next to me and took my hand. “Oi.” His voice was as soft as his gaze. “You’re going to be fucking brilliant.” He kissed my forehead. “Your team is incredible. You are incredible. You’re Coach Bucky. World Cup winner, Olympic champion, NWSL Coach of the Year.” He shook his head as he rattled off my résumé with a smile on his face. “You’ve fucking got this.”

“I know.”

He raised his thick eyebrows at me expectantly. “But?”

“But…” I sighed heavily and let my head fall against his shoulder. “There’s just so much pressure,” I murmured. “It’s our first season. And with all of my personal drama…” I closed my eyes. “I have to win. I have to show that I’m a fucking winner. If I don’t, I’ll forever be that slutty American who slept with Roy freaking Kent.”

He gave me a light shove. “Oi, I thought you liked sleeping with Roy Kent.”

“Roy,” I huffed. “I’m being serious. I need to win today. I have to prove that I deserve to be taken seriously. Everything I’ve built this year is on the line. If we don’t do this, I don’t know-”

“Babe.” Roy shifted and lifted my legs until they draped over his lap. His arms felt like a warm blanket as they wrapped around my waist and tugged me close. “You don’t have to prove shit to anyone. You’re lightyears better at this job than I am-” A snort slipped out of my nose. “-and everyone knows it, no matter what happens today. You are brilliant and accomplished. And if it’s not this year, it’ll be next year.” He gave me a squeeze. “But I believe in you. Your team believes in you. Rebecca and Keeley and all the Greyhounds believe in you. Fuck what anyone else says.” He kissed my forehead, lingering for a moment. “You can always just punch them anyways.”

Fucking Roy, making me laugh and forget my anxiety. As I smiled through my nerves and kissed his mouth, probably smudging my lipstick, all I could think was how badly I wanted him to make me laugh for the rest of my fucking life.

~

The feeling of pride in Roy’s chest was unlike anything he’d ever felt in his life. The energy of the stadium vibrated through his whole body, and he couldn’t help the lump in his throat when he saw how absolutely packed the place was. He walked confidently into the owners’ box holding Phoebe’s hand tight. He smiled down at his bouncing niece, with her bright eyes and her own Bucky kit. She was talking a million miles a minute, reminding him of Keeley, chattering all about how well she knew the Whippets would do and asking if Roy was really going to take her onto the pitch after the match if the Whippets won. Her yammering only stopped so she could give Keeley a hug and take her seat next to the blonde.

“Ready to see your girl in action?” Keeley teased over Phoebe’s head as Roy took his seat.

His broad smile would have been enough of an answer. “She’s gonna be so fucking brilliant,” Roy laughed. “I can fucking feel it.” He narrowed his eyes at Phoebe’s expectant face. “Add it to my tab,” he grumbled.

To his surprise, Phoebe shook her head. “You get a free pass today, Uncle Roy,” she informed him earnestly. “It’s a very big day for Bucky and you’re probably very stressed.” She nodded, her demeanor comically matter of fact. “So, I’ll let it slide. Just for today.”

“Thanks, Pheebs,” he chuckled, kissing the top of her head. He nodded to Rebecca as she took her spot on Keeley’s other side. “Boss,” he greeted with a salute.

“Coach Kent,” she replied, a sparkle in her eye as she saluted back. “Beautiful night for a game, hmm?” Despite her calm tone, Roy could see the way her fingers drummed on her lap nervously.

He smirked at her. “Ready to be the owner of two winning teams?”

She shook her head, holding back a laugh. “Not thinking about it,” she announced firmly. “I am just going to enjoy the match, cheer for our girls, and feel proud of them no matter what.”

Keeley, Roy, and Pheobe all just stared at her until a smile broke out across her face.

“Alright, yes, I’m fucking ready!” She turned her attention to the field, where the Whippets were beginning to line up. “Let’s go, Whippets!”

The quartet were joined in the box by Beard and Nate and Jamie, who looked quite comfortable wearing Kira Malone’s name on his back. There were deafening cheers all around as the Whippets were introduced. Roy’s whole body felt warm as he bellowed their names; even without being head over heels for their manager, Roy would feel beyond proud of these women. He’d watched them work all season long, through sweat and injuries and fatigue and the harsh media. And they’d done it all with smiles on their faces and their heads held high. They were impressive and inspiring, and Roy already knew they would win that trophy.

And they had ninety minutes to do it.

After the players were introduced, the Whippets’ coaches stepped forward to shake hands with the opposing coaching staff.  Of course, every eye in the owners’ box turned to Roy with mischievous smirks on their faces.

Not that Roy noticed. He was too busy jumping to his feet so he could cup his hands around his mouth and bellow, “Let’s fucking go, Buck!”

With that colossal voice of his, no one was surprised to see the manager look up in their direction. Her red-lipped smile was clear as day, and they all oohed teasingly when they saw her blow a kiss up towards them.

“Obviously that was for me,” Jamie joked, turning around and winking at his manager.

“Fuck off,” Roy chuckled as he resumed his seat. He gave the striker a light shove before turning his attention back to the pitch. Fuck, how was he supposed to focus on the match that was starting when she was down there, looking strong and confident and powerful- not to mention gorgeous. His heart hammered in his chest as he watched her in her element, shouting excitedly at her team and reaching out for Luke’s hand every now and then. Some part of him wanted to watch her forever; the other part of him couldn’t wait for the ninety minutes to end so he could wrap his arms around her and celebrate her victory.

A stray piece of popcorn smacked him in the temple and diverted his attention.

Keeley shot him that shit-eating grin and tossed a fresh piece of popcorn into her mouth. “You’re drooling, Roy-o.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and reached over Phoebe’s lap to steal a handful of Keeley’s popcorn. “Yeah, yeah,” was all he could manage. He smiled down at Pheobe, whose attention was rapt with the match in front of her. “Having fun?” he asked loudly, amused to find that her trance was just as intense as the one he’d just been in.

All the little blonde could do was nod, mouth slightly agape, as she watched the Whippets score their first goal of the match. The entire stadium was on their feet, deafening with their shouts and cheers as the players embraced. But of course, the only thing Roy could see was their manager and the way she looked up at the owners’ box, right at him.

~

Lucas was holding my hand so tight he was going to cause permanent damage to my blood circulation. Not that I cared; we had succeeded in keeping the game tied 2-2 all through stoppage time, and now Amanada Camacho had managed to secure a penalty kick. With my free hand, I gripped my necklace tightly, as if the little gold charm would somehow direct Amanda’s kick into the right direction.

The forward made her move, running towards the ball, and gave a powerful kick-

That sailed perfectly into the corner of the goal, out of the goalie’s reach.

In unison, Lucas and I let out sharp screams and crashed into each other’s arms, trading kisses on cheeks and foreheads. When the referee blew her whistle, we sprinted onto the field, greeting our mob of Whippets in a pile of hugs that evolved into a mountain of players and staff tumbling over each other. It was loud and chaotic- and beautiful. Somewhere in the reveling, tears had formed in my eyes, but they didn’t fall until I found myself face to face with Rebecca’s glowing smile and own teary eyes.

“Well done,” she said simply, wrapping me in a tight hug. “Well fucking done.”

I melted into her embrace- fuck, how was this woman so perfect that even her hugs were the best?- and finally let the tears fall. “Thank you for believing in me,” was all I could manage.

She shook her head. “That’s just the Richmond way,” she chuckled as Keeley approached us.

The blonde wrapped us both into a group hug, chattering about how brilliant the girls had been, how brilliant I had been, how we were going to have the biggest celebration ever once we left the stadium, how I’d better have brought a change of clothes like she’d instructed me so we could party properly.

But her excitement was drowned out by my beating heart when I caught sight of a pair of beautiful brown eyes sparkling at me.

“Kent!” I shrieked, breaking free of my bosses’ warm embraces. I sprinted towards him, this time under stadium lights and falling confetti rather than pouring rain, and launched myself into his arms. He caught me with ease, lifting me and letting me wrap my legs around him. With a couple of first place finishes under our belts, we were finally free to be as publicly insufferable as we wanted- which I planned on taking full advantage of. I figured a dramatic kiss on the pitch was a good start, and Roy seemed to agree as he attached his lips to mine hungrily.

“So. Fucking,” he huffed into my mouth between kisses, “Proud.” He held me tighter, pressing my chest harshly to his. “You’re amazing.”

I finally removed myself from the kiss so I could bury my burning hot face in his shoulder. He let me plant my feet back on the ground, but kept his arms firmly around me. “Roy,” I murmured, realizing I had something important to tell him. “I-”

“Bucky!” Phoebe jumped onto my back, nearly knocking me over.

“Pheebs!” I laughed, turning away from Roy so I could hug his niece. “I’m so glad you came,” I gushed. “Your team wins a championship next, right?” When I glanced up at Roy over Phoebe’s head, he was already gazing at me, something soft on his face. He’d been doing that a lot lately, I realized as I returned his smile. This gentle stare that held something significant, something I felt sure one of us would break down and say soon. Something I’d wanted to say since I first ran out in the rain to him.

But I didn’t have time to think about that. Not when my team was calling for me to join them to be crowned the Women’s League champions and hoist the trophy in the air and beam with pride as cameras flashed in our faces.

I was still beaming as I held Roy’s hand in the club the Greyhounds and Whippets took over to celebrate both of our victories; Rebecca was something of a blubbering mess as she took the microphone early in the night and thanked both clubs for their hard work, thanked our coaching staffs for surviving the wild ride that had been our season (Beard raised his eyebrows in our direction, clearly remembering being frustrated enough to lock us in a shed), and above all thanked Keeley for being her partner in the adventure of establishing what she knew would be a great legacy of women’s football in Richmond.

By the time Rebecca finished and called me up to make my own speech, I was close to joining Rebecca in her tears; unfortunately, I knew I wouldn’t look as graceful as she did once my waterworks began flowing. So instead, I focused on smiling as I kissed her cheek and took the accepted the microphone from her.

“How’re we feeling, Richmond?” I was answered with cheers and shouts from our teams and their loved ones. “I’ll try to keep this brief so we can get back to partying- although my Whippets probably already know I’m not as capable of brevity as the Greyhounds say Coach Kent is.” The mere mention of Roy’s name provoked catcalls and wolf whistles from both squads. “Calm down,” I laughed, shaking my head when I caught Roy’s not-really-annoyed eyeroll aimed at Jamie. “I just want to say thank you,” I continued once the commotion subsided. “Thank you to the Whippets, for all of your incredible work and dedication. I think we made it clear to the Women’s Super League and all of England that W.F.C. Richmond has arrived.” Cheers again filled the club, as well as my heart. “Thank you to our fearless leaders Keeley and Rebecca, for believing in us every step of the way.” Keeley’s little bow alongside Rebecca’s refined wave had me giggling into the microphone. “A special thanks to our dear Greyhounds. It was an adjustment learning to work together-” Coach Beard’s exaggerated groan could be heard loudly over everyone else’s teasing hums. “-but we managed.” I shot Roy a wink that was returned with a blown kiss. “And, personally, more than anyone else I have to thank my right-hand man.” My eyes found Lucas’s. “Luke,” I sighed. “You formed me into the player I was so proud to be. You mentored me into the coach I’ve become. You were insane enough to follow me here for this adventure, you held my hand during every scary moment and picked me up every time I fell. We came here for greatness-” I shrugged, gesturing to the assembled group of champion athletes. “- and I think we fucking found it.” Both teams hollered in agreement, but still managed to hear my last few words: “Richmond on three! One, two, three-”

“RICHMOND!”

In a blur of cheers and hugs and kisses, I finally found myself back in Roy’s embrace, accepting the chaste kiss he pressed to my lips.

“Wanna sneak off for a moment?” he hummed in my ear. “After that, I need to give you a proper kiss. And if I do that here, I think Beard might actually be fucking ill.”

I leaned into his touch. “Can’t have that,” I teased back.

We wandered away from the bar, ignoring the eyerolls from our friends when they caught sight of our lovesick expressions. We had warned them early on; they were going to miss the days of our screaming matches and insults. These days, instead of walking in on arguments, they walked in on make out sessions. Jamie had more than a few times accused us of trying to make him go blind. Even Keeley grimaced when I asked if she wanted to continue Manager Mondays next season, clearly regretting asking us to be more affectionate once we were public.

All season everyone bitched at us about getting along. We were only giving the people what they wanted.

Roy clearly knew what he wanted when he found a dark, isolated corner where he could press my back against a column that hid us from view. His mouth melded with mine as his hands lazily stroked up and down my sides. I sighed against his kiss and snaked my arms around his neck, pulling him flush against me. My mind was filled with thoughts of the weeks ahead of us; sure, we’d have a shit ton of press, but once the circus was over, this was all I wanted to worry about. We’d floated the idea of going on some fabulous vacation together, turning our phones off and isolating ourselves in a little bubble of sex and food and laughter. I’d told Roy we could settle plans once the seasons were ended, which he had seemed thrilled about. Or at least as thrilled as Roy could manage. But as I kissed him harshly and melted in his arms, I briefly considered that spending our entire break locked in his house with nothing but takeout, movies, and his bed sounded just as good as whatever destination he had in mind.

Still, we’d worked hard and gone through a lot; we deserved a damn vacation.

“You’re fucking incredible,” he mumbled as he began to wander down my neck. “Seeing you on the pitch today… and up there with your speech…” He groaned softly and pressed a slow kiss to my collarbone. “Don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do right now.”

My grip on him tightened as my body tensed up. Not bothering to hide my wide smile, I tugged at him until his face was inches away from mine. “You love me?”

His smile was sloppy and bashful, my favorite sight. “Fucking ’course I do,” he murmured as he brushed some hair out of my face. “You’re something special, you know that? I think I’ve loved you since that moment in the shed at the fucking retreat, hearing you say we were both going to win the whole fucking thing. Called it ‘fairy tale shit’.” He touched his nose to mine. “This right here, this is some fairy tale shit.”

“It is,” I breathed before closing the space between your mouths, pulling Roy into a tender kiss. Before I could deepen it into something a bit harsher, he pulled back, eyebrow quirked playfully. “What?” I chuckled.

“I love you,” he whispered, raising both eyebrows now.

I nodded, trying to hide the grin that was growing on my face. “So I heard.”

He rolled his eyes and took my face in his hands. “Anything you care to say to me, Coach Buck?”

He knew. Of course he fucking knew. He knew from the way I kissed him and the way I looked at him and the way I held him close whenever I could. He knew from the way we made love at night and made breakfast together in the morning. He knew from the way our fingertips brushed when we passed each other at work. He knew from the million little things we shared every day.

But sometimes, a fella needs to hear the words.

“Fine,” I huffed, all faux exasperation as I tugged his face back towards mine. “I guess I love you too.”

Taglist: @optimisticsandwichgladiator@reading-blogs@callmecasey81@ladygrey03@puckyou-forpuckssake@royalestrellas@shineforever19@rae4725@burnafter-reading@her-fandom-sanctum@infinetlyforgotten@giggling-sewer-ginger@whataloadofmalarkey@agentstarkid@kingleahhh@tortilla-maria1@geekgirl1996@amatswimming@meg-ro@spicyraccoonlordking@spaghetti-dad187@needlesthreadandbuttons@elissaaa@imsoluckyeverythingworksoutforme@reverieisaway@djskakakaksjsj-blog@thatonedogwithablog@allthetroubleiveseen@sunderland-6@netflix-addict@paranormal-is-my-life@jill2629-blog@itsbuzzfeedbitch@pretzelactivist@amieinghigh@kashee-h@beingalive1@mythicalbinicorn@needyomega@kno-way-home@janalustare@sssatorus@its-a-rich-mans-world@confessionsofatotaldramaslut@hesitant-alien33@katie-sheep-111@bonesbonesetc@seacactusplant@thebookwormlife @dreamscape22 @rae4725@timelordhunterandmysterysolver@littleesilvia@anonurs@itswhateveripromise@chewymoustachio @gcidrvsh @katdahlali @ohwauwdoritos @lemoonandlestars @perfectwhispersvoid@seatbacksandtraytables@kingleahhh@maackiimoo @isuspectitwasthenargles @bannsshheeebiittcchhhh @charkachow @gcstnml @queen-of-the-downtown-scene

[lieutenant-teach]

Being a pro-Jedi fan is super hard.

Stumbled upon a scientific paper ‘The Psychgeist of Pop Culture’ (2024) about ‘The Mandalorian’ and ‘The Book of Boba Fett’ series. It’s divided into many smaller research by various PhDs. The Boba chapters are actually very good.

And then there’s ‘Fatherhood and male emotions’ chapter. About Jedi. About attachment. The authors Keely Diebold and Meghan Sander, PhDs, are claimed as Jedi fans.

Good start. / s Bad enough Din Djarin is called ‘Djarin’ as a name throughout the whole paper (my own pet peeve about the dick move of Favreau and Filoni in the end of Season 3 which is a decision to criticize in itself). Of course, Obi-Wan wasn’t a ‘good father figure’ as claimed by Lucas himself. Neither was Bail Organa. /s

Yeah. Hypocrisy. Hey, ‘Jedi fans authors’, have you actually watched the movies? Sigh. Seriously, ‘the intergalactic therapists’ who were trying to help Anakin to cope with his emotions so much, working with ‘cognitive therapy’ – they suppressed emotions. I just… don’t have any coherent thoughts about that bullshit on the screencap. And – now we defend Palpatine. Just great.

By the way, rewatching Indiana Jones movies, I paid special attention to the moments when someone of the team is left behind and the main characters continue chasing the enemies (just like in the mentioned scene in AOTC). And it’s never presented as ‘left behind and forgotten, heroes don’t care about them’.

What is evident to me is that this all is a piece of banthashit. Mandos with the suppression of emotions – I agree. Jedi? When one of their main proverbs ‘feel, don’t think’?

‘His own interpretation’? It’s not! Why did the authors decide that’s what happened? The point is that Anakin is taught ‘compassion, which … [is] unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life. … we are encouraged to love’ by the Jedi, but acts in the way he wants regardless. Screams in the plush Grogu How do people manage to watch obvious in messaging children films with their ass holes?

Frankly, I suspect that these ‘Jedi-fans’ authors just don’t understand and didn’t even try to explore the meaning of ‘attachment’ in Star Wars – it’s not ‘a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another’, it’s ‘selfishness’. They never tried to google Lucas’s interviews, but only used books about child rearing. This is why we have all this crap in a ‘scientific paper’. I firmly believe that @david-talks-sw, @writerbuddha, @kanansdume, @antianakin, @smhalltheurlsaretaken and other fans could write a whole paper about Jedi and attachments – and this would be real in-depth analysis of the Jedi and Star Wars.

And a rotten cherry on the top of this shitcake I noticed just before publishing – using ScreenRant as a reference not the smartest move, really.

Now how can a reader trust your judgment if you use fucking ScreenRant as a proof? Ah, no, they cannot (see this whole post).

[thefrontofmymind]

Hi, I really like your Joseph Quinn stories! I would like to request a story where Joseph and the reader are both famous but they are trying to keep their relationship lowkey and private. So the reader is asked on the late late show with James Corden and everything goes really smoothly until they start playing spill your guts and James asks something like "there's been some photos with you and a certain someone" (then a picture of you and Joe getting ice cream and him hugging you from behind goes up) "is it true that you are dating?" and then she admits it because she can't eat whatever disgusting food James picked for her :D Really like this idea, hope you can write it! Thank you!

Salmon Smoothie; Request (Joseph Quinn x costar!Reader)

REQUEST: i have this idea for Joseph x costar reader fic. They've been dating ever since season 4 started shooting but they're really private so only family and friends and costars know about them. They're doing an interview and maybe Noah like accidentally almost spills that they're together so the internet goes wild and starts speculating. something funny and cute

a/n: hope its alright i combined these two requests and changed them around a bit!!! loved them both and i thought they'd work well together! thank you for reading <33

SYNOPSIS: Reader plays Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts on the Late Late Show and has to hide their relationship with Joe

WARNINGS: just gross food, and like a little bit of kissing and that's it

Your romance with Joe most certainly took you by surprise. At a time when you felt most alone–isolated like the rest of the world, he came into your life and swept you off your feet. 

You’d met filming the fourth season of Stranger Things, of which you were a recurring cast member while Joe was a newbie. There was an immediate…fascination, you’d say, from the moment you’d locked eyes at the first table read back at the beginning of 2020. It was new, exciting, and then you didn’t see each other for months while the world went into an all-encompassing health emergency. Though you never forgot about that Englishman with the big brown eyes and the winning smile.

When you were finally allowed to come in to actually film the season, your infactuation remained–thank fuck for that, you thought. You felt grateful that a good portion of your scenes were with Joseph so you were able to spend as much time as you could with him–chatting in between takes and grabbing dinner together after a long, hard day of work.

You’d decided quite early on not to act on your crush on him, it was frankly quite unprofessional and you’d hate to make him uncomfortable–as you’d grown to become quite good friends in the short time you’d been filming, it would kill you to lose that over a passing fancy.

So Joe was the one to make the first move–unknown to you, he was in the exact same position. He thought of you like the sun that lit up a part of his life that had been quite difficult, between the stress of the world, the lack of acting jobs popping up because of said worldwide situation, and simply his loneliness during it all, he was in a pit that you’d dove into to pull him out of. It was pure admiration for you on his end, and that quickly turned into desire, and it was beginning to eat away at him.

He decided to make the move in your trailer, so that way if you reacted negatively he’d be able to leave you and never speak to you again, if that was what you wished. He wished he could’ve had a shot of something before he sat you down with the preface that he ‘had something very important to tell you’.

“So we’ve become very close-uh-recently,” he started, both of you sitting on the sofa in your trailer at the end of the day, back in your regular clothes, but still with the heavy-duty makeup for the cameras on your face. “And I just wanted to tell you…”

He paused, and it felt like a thousand years between the two breathes he took to ease himself into it. You were worried you’d done something wrong, that you’d upset or offended him somehow or he was going to tell you something horrible–you could feel your heart rate begin to elevate.

“I admire you so much, not just as an actor, like the way you’ve been bringing the scripts to life this season has been an honour to watch and work with you….” he rambled before stopping again. He really should’ve written a few dot points to keep him on track. “I’m just…infatuated with you. As more than a friend. And I can’t go through life without telling you because it’s killing me and-”

“Joe?” you interrupted him, cutting him off. You didn’t quite know what to say, so you leant forward, pressing your lips to his. He put his arms around your waist and slightly pulled you onto his lap, before pulling away, smirking into the kiss, still.

“So you feel the same way?” he asked.

“If you have to ask, I don’t know what to tell you,” you joked, earning a small chuckle from him, still with his arms around you so you were right against him. “I like you, Joseph Quinn.”

“I love when you call me ‘Joseph’.” You couldn’t help but giggle a little as he pulled you in for another kiss–the air between you settled and you couldn’t deny how right it felt.

You were lucky there was already a couple in the cast of Stranger Things in Natalia and Charlie, there was a precedent, so you felt almost immediately prepared to let your relationship known to the rest of the cast–after a few weeks of keeping it to yourselves, of course, just to test the waters.

After filming ended, yourself and Joseph went back home, you met each others’ families and friends soon enough, and you felt like any other couple for a time, as hidden from public life as any other regular couple.

That was until the lead-up of the new season, which meant press, and public appearances, and interviews, and the cast being as active as ever on social media. It put you and Joe on edge, you loved being able to love each other without having to deal with any kind of pressure from the media and general public–you were glad you could go out grocery shopping together and no one would really be any wiser to the fact that the two of you met and started dating on the set of one of the biggest television shows this decade.

You’d both been media trained to help with hiding spoilers and whatnot, as well as the rest of the cast, but you still had the feeling that the thread was being primed to pull, and everything was getting closer and closer to unravelling.

It truly didn’t surprise you when it was Noah who let it slip–accidentally alluding to two relationships in the cast, one known and one unknown. With a little bit of sleuthing, fans had begun suspecting that you and Joe were together–the two of you were always very close and were out and about together frequently and somehow they’d manage to find a couple of blurry pictures from inside the season 4 Premiere of you and Joe standing very close, hands intertwined and faces a mere few inches away from each other.

Joe convinced you it would be okay. “They don’t know for sure! We can just deny, deny, deny… And it’ll all be okay, I promise,” he said, as he held you–shaking with anxiety after a particularly bad downward spiral over it.

And it was fine for a few weeks, neither of you mentioned it, Noah also hadn’t said anything, and the rumours began to die down. That was until you were set to appear on the Late Late Show with James Corden to promote Volume 2, including what would be a fun game of Spill Your Guts.

The lights were very bright, which made you begin to sweat–not to be confused with the sweat from your nervous state of mind over the possibility of having to eat cod sperm or something else horrible.

The game began as normal, with James explaining the rules before moving onto the selection of ‘food' on the table in between the two of you; bull penis, salmon smoothie, cow tongue, water beetle, bird saliva, and fish eye. 

You did alright to begin with, avoiding eating the cow tongue by telling James about the time you accidentally poured a drink on Taika Watiti at the Oscars and skipping the bird saliva by half-heartedly ranking your Stranger Things cast members’ music, while making James eat the bull penis and the water beetle.

“Okay this is the last question, ladies and gentlemen,” Jame began, looking to the table. “And I think I’ll let you finish with a….salmon smoothie.”

The stench hit you before you could fully comprehend James’ choice, you couldn't help but gag a little bit. James picked up the final question card, silently reading it to himself, before letting out a menacing chuckle, causing the audience to laugh.

“You may be aware of a rumour your fellow castmate Noah Schnapp started a few weeks ago…” Oh here we go. “That there are two different couples in the Stranger Things cast. Now, we know of Natalia Dyer and Charlie Heaton, who have been together since 2016-”

“Very cute couple..” you cut in, trying not to let the anxiety you were feeling show on your face, that was as good as letting the whole can of worms out.

“Yes, but the other couple is unknown. There’s been photos-lots of photos-of you and Joseph Quinn, who plays Eddie this season, out and about and seeming very close. It’s a simple question, are you and Joseph together?”

You felt like everything slowed as you thought over your response. You could no longer hear the audience, nor the band beginning to play tense music. You felt bad lying and denying, you couldn’t confirm either…

“Well…Joseph is just such a talented actor and we grew quite close over filming the season…so…” You quickly grabbed the glass and took a hearty sip of the smoothie, immediately regretting it, eliciting a cheer from the crowd as you swallowed and opened your mouth as proof. You gagged slightly.

James couldn’t stop cackling as he ended the segment, telling the cameras that they’d ‘be right back’ with a wink.

A troupe of AD’s dressed in all black approached the table and began disassembling it during the break, while you were corralled to the sofa to get ready for the interview portion of the show. You knew your phone was placed behind the sofa, so you quickly fetched it when you had a spare second to send Joe a text message, wracked with a feeling of guilt for fueling the fire.

‘Hi love, filmings going well but i maaayyy have neither confirmed nor denied the RUMOUR and im shitting it a bit….sorry baby i wasnt thinking xoxo’

You received a reply almost immediately–thankfully since you knew you would have a hard time getting through the interview without speaking to Joe first, to ease your worries if nothing else.

‘Oh darling, dont worry about it! i LOVE you and people can say whatever tf they want it doesnt change that i bagged the hottest piece on the face of the planet xxx’

You laughed at his response, he always knew how to cheer you up and make you feel relaxed. The cameras and microphone operators began getting prepared as James made his way to the small stage to sit behind his desk.

“Who’s got you all giggly and flustered, eh?” he asked, looking over his palm cards and getting comfortable in his seat.

“Oh, just this guy I’ve been seeing…” you teased.

[murdererofthumbs]

Seeing reactions after this episode is actually slightly hysterical? It proves that this fandom can be so blind-sighted by characters relations, that they forget what show they are watching. Like, I have always been a self-proclaimed Roman-girl, because I find him compelling and extremely psychologically interesting, and like all of these characters, to a certain extent, I do empathise with him on the level of trauma that he went through. But why the fuck are people surprised that THIS is how he behaved in this episode is beyond me. Oh, suddenly Roman is dead to you because he behaved in the way that was very much consistent with who he is? That’s who all of these people are, like come on, what do we think we are watching here? You didn’t really think he will suddenly become a defender of democracy because it serves a greater good of the country? He was the one to fucking choose Mencken as a president, he cherry-picked him for Logan, because he knew that their views align, that Mencken will be a smart business decision. This whole thing is a transactional procedure - they needed to get someone who will be willing to serve their corrupt interests. Roman doesn’t see a problem in having fascist as a president, because he will never be touched by the consequences of having that kind of man in power. He is very much safe at the top of the mountain, and who the fuck cares what will happen to the peasants at the bottom of the chain? In this way, he imitates Logan the most, because in the end of the day, people are units to him, to all of them really, some of them are just more willing to admit this than others.

Also, like, “uuu, Roman was such a misogynist to Shiv this episode, he just didn’t listen to her at all”. Look, can we stop being delusional here for a second or is it some sort of selective memory situation? Roman is a misogynist. Kendall is a misogynist. Shiv, in fact, has a lot of internalised misogyny going on, and her being a woman never stopped her from pushing other women under the fucking bus, so let’s be real here for a second. And that is not to be said in defence of Roman, frankly nothing what I’m saying here is supposed to justify his behaviour in this or any other episode, but it’s more of like… reality check? I know that Roman’s self-destructive spiral and semi-decent behaviour at the beginning of this season might have clouded certain aspects of who he is, but please, go back to season 3 and count all the instances of him throwing misogynistic and, frequently incestuous jokes and innuendo, at Shiv? How many times he undermines her position on the basis of her being a woman? Or how Kendall, for that matter, uses similar arguments in 03x02? All the siblings use aspects of each other as weapons. Kendall is undermined because he is unstable, because he is a drug-addict, because he has a tendency of flying off on the cloud of mania, and crashing in the heap of depression. Shiv is crossed out because she is a woman, because she frankly has no real experience in the firm (which, although people might be super angry about that, because she is such a “girlboss” apparently, but this is a factual argument), because of her relationship to Tom and tendency to take several sides at the same time (with not much thought put into it). And Roman is frequently undermined because he is a freak and a pervert, because “there is something wrong with him”, because he is the weakest dog that is most easily manipulated, who crumples like a wet tissue if only to receive a bit of affection. They all weaponise their “weak” points against each other, because this dog-eats-dog mindset is focal to who they are as a family, to how they were brought up, to how Logan wanted them to be. So please, let’s not be surprised, when Roman suddenly uses misogyny as an argument against Shiv, because it’s not sudden at all, and it’s always been there.

I think what we have on our hands, is the same situation we had in 03x07 during Kendall’s birthday (and previous episode with Mencken), where some people are so outraged by Roman, and by his ability to shove the knife where it hurts, that they suddenly cross him out completely. Again, all these characters are bad people, there was never any doubt about that. They are compelling because of the complexities of their familial relationships, because of their childhood trauma and the consequences that this trauma has on them as adults. But they are still completely reprehensible as human beings, and I think some viewers forget about that and then get outraged when show about awful people features awful people. And I’m sure, either in next or final episode, something will happen and Roman will become sympathetic again, and he will regain his position as a “poor meow meow”, just as he did in the finale of season 3. Its always a fucking carousel with this character and people get sucked in and have their eye’s covered just to realise that nothing really changed, and nothing will change, because in this show people, at their core, remain the same.

[findafight]

Jonathan’s line about Steve in vol 2 was so…. I don’t know. I mean yeah it straight up confirms that Nancy and Jonathan make fun of Steve behind his back, and like I get that I have never been in Nancy’s situation so obviously it seems more mortifying to me, but I would have felt so guilty in her place. I can’t imagine not shutting Jonathan up if he started shit talking about Steve. Like Steve would have been straight up unmentionable if I was Nancy. Idk.

I get that Duffers don’t treat their characters emotional lives seriously, but like. That’s why Robin being kind to Nancy in s5 despite Nancy’s uh.. well frankly appalling attitude towards Robin, makes zero sense to me. I really wanted Nancy to struggle being in Steve’s group. Not in the “she deserves it bhahaha” way, but like… Steve dumped his friends for her (which was good for him), and her expecting to get the same treatment and meeting Robin instead? Who actively dislikes her and for a good reason? Who is smart and cool and kind? That’s way more interesting than people kissing Nancy’s ass the whole season, while she is actively putting Max’s life in danger. Like, yeah in high school she is the chief editor of the newspaper, and at home she is the eldest sister, and with Jon she makes fun of Steve, and now none of these people are here, but Steve is here and so is his bestie. And Steve is as kind as always, but Robin dislikes her, and it is not just prejudice

Nancy Wheeler you wild girl! She has no guilt lmao She's like yeah steve was dumb and annoying and didn't enable my investigation, and jon goes yep, what an idiot. All while Steve is just like. bumpin around making friends with little nerds haha. Minding his own business blaming himself for the end of their relationship. You're right, it's kinda bonkers because even if we take the stance that Nancy didn't cheat (which I believe she did) like. she still had him as her second choice and as soon as he pushed back a bit and didn't give her the kind of support she wasn't telling him she needed (until talking about exposing the lab in the library where anyone could hear) she jumped ship and ran to Jonathan. Why would she want to talk about Steve? Why wouldn't she want to try to forget he ever existed as anything other than Mike's friend Dustin's older friend? Is that not weird for her?

(i think you might mean s4? but i can work with s5 too haha) It's so much more compelling to me to have Nancy and Robin at odds with each other because Robin is like a little guard chihuahua holding a grudge for Steve. She holds grudges so well let her do it more!! like jesus give him someone in his corner! And also for herself! She got so nervous and tried to explain and defend herself, and Nancy only really started to listen once they got into the hospital. Nancy has a not great plan that puts one of the kids in danger, one of the kids Steve is close to. (Max wrote him a letter!!) I think Robin would really see Steve's people as her people, even if she wasn't personally close to them she'd still feel comfortable around the younger teens because Steve is? Let robin be critical of this plan. Let her call it out or something. Give Nancy someone to push against, it's no fun if there's no resistance! I want Nancy to be the one wanting friendship with Robin, and Robin not being receptive to it. Nancy not having a relationship handed to her would be refreshing and I want to see how she'd try to win Robin's friendship.

Let Robin not want to work with Nancy because she's heard the rumours about how her and Steve ended, even though he only mentioned that he wasn't a good boyfriend ans wasn't what she needed so it didn't work out. Robin saw that one week Steve and Nancy had a fight, and a day later she was ditching with Jonathan? yeah something is fishy there to even the most socially oblivious person. Let Robin know Steve well enough that she knew he at least thought he was telling the truth but that there must have been more. Let Robin decide she was going to do the most cliche best friend thing and not be very nice to the ex that broke her bestie's heart.

ooooh anon what you're saying is so interesting because, yeah. Steve dumped Tommy and Carol for Nancy, and that was good for him, and then Nancy got with Jonathan who doesn't really have any friends in Hawkins. So she's always been her boyfriend's main person of similar age they're close to. But now Steve's got Robin. Who is funny and kind and weird and loyal and smart and sarcastic. Who is obsessed with Steve and who Steve is also obsessed with. And that, from a s5 stancy pov, is so interesting because now Nancy is now competing (in her mind) for her boyfriend/potential bf's attention with his best friend. Like Jonathan was focused on his family, obviously (and this caused strain for them too) but it's not the same socially as a best friend taking priority. Steve would still hold those relationships, because they're good for him and good for the others, and there's zero reason for him to abandon them this time.

I think Nancy would hate it. Like Steve would obviously give her tonnes of attention, but with him having actual close friendships not just with Robin but Dustin and Max (at least) too, she'd still feel like she was bartering for time with him. That is suuuuch a fun potential dynamic between nancy and steve and also nancy and steve's friends.

[thetomorrowshow]

“Didn’t expect Scott and Pearl to go down like that,” Martyn says.

Cleo says nothing.

“I mean, I always had some inkling that it would be Grian and Scar at the end, but I thought that they would be right up there with ‘em, you know?” he continues. “Not us. I mean, I’m happy it’s us! I just—”

“Martyn,” Cleo says, and Martyn almost makes an audible sound of relief, because they’ve been sitting here for quite some time and he’s tired of talking to himself. “There’s an entire world out there, with no one trying to kill you for once. Go out there and talk to a sheep or something, and leave me alone.”

Ah. She’s mad at him. Which is uncalled for, frankly, because she’s been mad at him this entire season and he’s finally done something right! He thinks a little kindness is in order.

“C’mon, Cleo, we won!” he says, leaning back, hands finding support on one of Pearl’s long-since raided chests. He kicks his legs where they hang out the window. “It’s over! We won!”

Cleo snorts. “Is that what you call it?”

“What? I—well, ‘course it is! We won!”

She turns away. He really thinks he doesn’t deserve that. Martyn pinches the skin of his wrist—lightly, but enough to hurt. She jumps, smacks his arm.

“Stop it, you—you—” The emotion dies before the insult is complete, and she just sinks, absolutely sinks into herself, and the lighthearted air he’d tried to bring is snuffed out before it can really take hold.

Martyn’s not sure how to help. He doesn’t really know Cleo, doesn’t know what cheers her up, doesn’t know what he can do to make her at least smile.

Scott would know.

“Would you prefer it be them?” he asks quietly, scanning her face for any kind of answer, affirmative or not. She just looks tired, the glint of Red in her eyes dull.

“No,” she says eventually. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m just . . . I’m not sure what to do, you know?”

No. He doesn’t know at all what she means, honestly. He’s never understood her. “I mean, we won,” he says, grinning again. “We can do anything! Celebrate! Burn down the server! C’mon, I know you like a little arson here and there!”

“Right, burn down the last remnants of our friends,” she says drily. Then her head tilts. “Might be therapeutic to torch that eyesore hanging over the valley, actually. Do you have a flint ‘n steel?”

“No, my art piece is off-limits,” Martyn says loudly, surreptitiously shoving the tool in question deeper into his pocket. “It wouldn’t burn anyway, only the floor’s made out of wood. So don’t even try.”

She doesn’t even smile.

He wonders, if he had let her burn it, if she would.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts suddenly, and that gets a reaction. Cleo’s brows reach her hairline, an astonished laugh bursting out of her.

“Finally? You’re finally going to say that to me?”

Martyn can’t tell if she’s angry or surprised or what, but anger seems to be a good bet so he holds up his hands, making sure she sees that he’s weaponless. “I—”

“No. No, tell me what you’re apologizing for. Go on.”

She’s waiting, one knee pulled up to her chest while the other dangles over the windowsill. But he can’t say it. Because he still isn’t sorry for what she wants him to be, and what he is sorry for is something that will hurt her more than anything else he can say.

I’m sorry it’s you.

What he says instead, is,

“I’m sorry I’m not him.”

“Which one of us would’ve survived, then?” she asks, a sarcastic twist to her lips. “Is you being Scott killing me, putting Pearl in my place?”

“No, not that—not that I wish he was here instead of me or whatever—” Martyn sighs, looks out over the world. “I’m sorry that the universe or—or whatever—chose you and me, instead of you and him. I know—I know that he actually meant something to you. I know you and him were meant to be soulmates.”

“Don’t be bitter,” Cleo tells him disdainfully, and Martyn wants to be annoyed at that, but he just can’t be.

“I’m not bitter, I’ll tell ya that,” he chuckles, and maybe he had been, long ago, but he’s past that. He’s not bitter.

He’s sad, a little bit.

“Honestly? Don’t think I should’ve been here,” admits Martyn, and Cleo laughs again. “No, I’m serious!” he insists.

“Why? You won. What more could you want?”

A partner. A house to share, a friend to travel with, a hand to hold when things just got to be too much. Someone. Anyone.

“I mean, not to be axe-critted every morning would’ve been nice,” he says instead. When Cleo rolls her eyes, he adds before he loses courage, “And it was lonely, all right? Sitting there by myself while you and him were all—all buddy-buddy, all best of pals, cutting your strings and tying ‘em together and all that—”

“Oh, you—”

“Maybe I just wanted my soulmate, and it didn’t have to be you because you and him were—well, you were destined or whatever, so maybe I just oughtn’t—”

“Did it ever cross your mind,” Cleo says icily, “that maybe I just wanted my soulmate too?”

Martyn falls silent, mouth still open to say whatever it was he’d been about to go on about. She sighs loudly.

“Finally, something shut you up,” she mutters, and she still looks tired, more tired than he’s ever seen her. The lines in her face are deep and weary, the shadows under her eyes dark enough that Martyn’s surprised a Phantom hasn’t swooped in, no matter the fact that the sun’s not quite set yet.

“W-well,” he stutters, trying to pull together his composure, “I still wish it’d been him who was your soulmate. Not me. Then at least one of us would’ve been happy.”

Cleo actually frowns at that. “You weren’t happy? You—I mean, you certainly looked like you were having a good time.”

Martyn scrubs at his face, glances over at her. “Right, because building a bleeding heart reaching out to my soulmate just screams ‘happy’.”

They’re both quiet after that, neither knowing what to say. Martyn lies back, legs still dangling but head resting on the chest, the ends of his bandana hanging to the floor. He sighs, closes his eyes and finally acknowledges the fatigue pulling at his bones. It’s been so long since he’s gotten a proper night’s rest. Most of his sleep over the past week has been caught in dozes, sneaking into abandoned bases or climbing up tall trees for a chance at safety.

Cleo must’ve done the same, after Scott and Pearl went. Funny. If they’d met up before the last possible moment, they would’ve been able to watch after each other. Then maybe they wouldn’t be so exhausted.

There’s a creak, and the chest underneath him bends a bit then settles, and he knows without opening his eyes that Cleo’s lying beside him. No matter what they both wish, they’re both here at the end.

“Scott’s won before,” Cleo says eventually, her voice breaking the first length of silence Martyn’s had in a long time. “If we’d been soulmates, he would be here again.”

“Or me and Pearl,” Martyn points out, but at Cleo’s obvious judgmental silence, he relents. “Yeah. He would know what you’re actually meant to do, once you win.”

“That’s not what I meant,” she says. “I meant he’s won before. He doesn’t need two wins. And if he’d been my soulmate, he would’ve had them.”

Oh.

“Don’t need his head getting any bigger,” says Martyn, and Cleo’s snort of laughter encourages him. “I mean, c’mon. Can you imagine how awful he’d be if he won twice in a row?”

“He’d be absolutely insufferable,” Cleo agrees, and at least they’ve found common ground over this, as ridiculous as it is.

“Did you know that I’ve still not won a canon MCC event? Not a single one? He’s always lording that over me. I can’t imagine him having this as well.”

They fall into silence again, but this time it’s far more comfortable than whatever it was before. Martyn blinks open his eyes, looks over at Cleo.

Her tangled, greasy hair flops over the chest, the single flower still in it now wilted. Blood is splattered across her chestplate that she hadn’t removed, despite Martyn having shucked his off as soon as she landed the final shot on Grian. Her eyes are closed, something that’s not quite a smile playing on her dirt-stained face.

“D’you think we ever could’ve worked?” he asks softly. For once, his remark isn’t cheeky or drowning in dramatics. It’s vulnerable, genuine.

Cleo cracks an eye open, her gaze on him sympathetic. “Maybe in another life,” she says, voice almost kind—but it’s clear she doesn’t believe her own words.

Martyn doesn’t believe them, either.

He makes himself sit up, disrupt the sleep that his body had slowly been sinking into. “Well,” he says, forcing cheer into his voice, “are you gonna jump, or shall I?”

“I thought you won,” says Cleo, rolling her eyes. “In a hurry to leave, are we?”

“This winning thing? Not actually all that great,” he says nonchalantly. “Don’t tell anyone I said that, of course—I plan on bragging to Timmy for years about this. So—you jump, or me?”

The unspoken third option hangs in the air—or both of us together—and Martyn hopes, for the second it takes that Cleo bites her lip and thinks, that she’ll pick that one, hopes that they can at least be united in their final act—

“I’ll go,” she decides, and the whoop Martyn lets out doesn't quite hide his disappointment as he shoves her off one last time.

[hogwartshotel]

putting on my trauma therapist hat

Full Moon spoilers under the cut.

Okay so if people are mad at Blitzø after that episode, send them here!

I am, in real life, a licensed therapist who works with PTSD, so I feel like I have some hopefully helpful perspective to offer here.

I've started to see a some "I get it, Blitzø has issues, but he fucked that whole thing up", and I want to talk a bit more about how PTSD works. If any of this resonates with you personally, I recommend seeking a therapist who specializes in trauma!

There are five categories in which we expect trauma to effect people's beliefs about themselves, others and the world, long-term: trust, safety, power and control, intimacy, and self-esteem. So let's take a look at those in this scene. They do overlap.

Trust. That heartbreaking line where Stolas says "I didn't realize you thought so lowly of me" is a result of Blitzø expressing that he's never had complete trust in Stolas's intentions. Hard to blame him -- trust is something we first learn in early childhood. Imagine trying to learn trust from someone like Blitzø's dad. People often have difficulty trusting not only others, but also themselves and their own judgment.

Safety. This really ties into power and control below. Imagine that Blitzø's whole personality has come from a desire to keep himself safe -- he's good with guns, he's his own boss, he doesn't have close relationships so he can't be rejected, he puts on an air of over confidence. Having any of that challenged can shake his whole set of beliefs about himself and the world.

Power and control. When something traumatic happens to us, we can often feel ourselves. We often try to limit our experiences to ones we feel we have control over, because our brains convince ourselves this will keep us safe. We've seen Stolas come to realize that their arrangement gives him more power over Blitzø than he's comfortable with. We've also seen Blitzø attempting to exert his own power -- by keeping Stolas at arm's length, by being the one to direct their sexual encounters (not saying that you need to have trauma in order to be dominant), by doing everything he can to keep the sex interesting so that Stolas won't end the deal. Stolas is doing the right thing by giving Blitzø the crystal, but it freaks him the fuck out. He's already figured out how to have power in the situation, and he's been operating under the assumption that Stolas also likes having this power over him (that part is more theoretical, but I see Blitzø as someone who assumes that everyone thinks the way he does about this shit). So having that dynamic suddenly changed makes him panic. It triggers a fear response. He reacts in a way that assumes it's a game or a trick. The idea that someone would willingly give up power sets of alarm bells in his mind.

Intimacy. Obviously, this is a big one in their dynamic, and it's going to tie in a lot to esteem. It is very common for folks with trauma histories to have difficulties forming intimate connections -- if you've read the above stuff about trust, it's probably easy to see why. In his part of the duet, we hear Blitzø acknowledging that the situation is feeling a little complicated, but that he's going to avoid that by focusing on the sex aspect. The idea of emotional intimacy is terrifying to him.

Esteem. Blitzø does not believe that he is capable of being loved, or that anyone who gets to know him will want to stay with him. We see a lot of that in the "bad trip" scene back in season 1. Hearing Stolas express feelings for him is terrifying. I'm not sure exactly what goes through his head, but it might be something like "I'm going to fuck this up," "he's lying," or "he doesn't know what he's talking about."

So. Imagine all of that getting triggered at once. I'm not saying that Blitzø handled it well or that he isn't responsible for his actions, I'm just saying it's really understandable that he didn't handle it perfectly. Quite frankly, I thought it was going to go a lot worse -- he does get angry and say hurtful things, but we immediately see him regret it and reach out to Stolas, and I was expecting him to need a lot longer to stop being angry. I am curious to see if he's going to go to a self-destructive spiral ("I always do this, I fucked it up again, why bother even trying") or if he's going to break the pattern and figure out a way to make it right. Seeing as the next episode is called "apology tour," I'm guessing we're going to see the latter -- but that is honestly huge character growth.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Storer

I've been diving deep into Storer's body of work pre-The Bear during the last few weeks. It's been exhilarating. He's sooo good that I'm still clueless in some aspects, TBH, which I love and drives me crazy in equal measure, of course. His scriptwriting style is more on the journalism side, that's why there's not much suspense but rather rawness in his lines, no regular plot twists, but twists in the layout of the plot, not in the plot itself.

He lets you in on what's gonna happen if you pay attention to the facts and details he presents, but he will definitely pull a twist as to how to go about it and make you reconsider the whole point he made earlier. He loves symbology and metaphors yet also uses those resources to divert, not just to tell the story, but to take the viewer off course and distract them, telling them a story that is not the real story he's telling, sneaky and clever, always. He's in the details and in the big picture at the same time, he writes boldly about the characters and lets you figure out the story by yourself, doesn't hold your hand, just shows it to you for you to make what you want or can out of it. I'm all for it.

As a director, he’s more conventional, which aligns with what he said about the movies he likes. It’s all there, clearly, he’s into “classic” movie-making. It’s easier to figure him out as a director than to figure out his narrative as a writer because he’s a shapeshifter yet a logical thinker. And I think that also has a lot to do with Joanna Calo, they are a great team when it comes to writing. She brings out his more subtle side. The journalism bouquet disappears and the deeper layers, psychology textbooks, etc show up. Fishes is a great example of that, the storyline is still raw (Storer) but it’s also in the layers, the softer ones (Calo) and then there’s the common ground they probably wrote together, which is what we perceive on screen as intensity to the point of being in a constant rollercoaster:

That’s not all Storer, that’s Stalo. And then there’s the cinematic style, which is more along the lines of the American indie style that was popular (and award-winning) in the 90s. I'm no expert on that, or on any of this... quite frankly... But I find it amazing, really, because that style is gone in the movies and Storer brought it back to TV and in this day and age, it’s a total game changer. I think we’ll start seeing more shows with The Bear’s aesthetic moving forward.

Anyway, so back to this passion project I have been working on for weeks now: I haven’t figured out what he’s gonna do with a 💯 level of certainty yet, which drives me crazy but I love it, of course. However, what I did figure out by now is all the potential plot twists he won’t be going for. All I can safely rule out because he would never do (I will be going over my notes on that in future posts). As a result, I'm now more confident than ever before about Sydcarmy being endgame. Not only it is a potential closure of the entire arc, with very solid chances of materializing, which we have all been thinking about all along, in my case since Braciole. It’s actually a total and utter certainty by now. My thesis on his work is very much still a WIP, can't wait for S3 to add it to the material I'm studying, but I will go about it more relaxed from now on because I already figured out what he will never do with Carmy.

There’s no version of The Bear in which he will put that character he created and that represents himself loves so much, through what he will put him through this upcoming season, without giving him whom he wants at the end.

Bonus track: let's pay close attention to spoons from now on.