#me trying to speak english past 1am

[deeeelightfuldee]

In what form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you’re currently interested in? I’m currently putting myself on dates and while im only mildly interested i would say snap or text.

If you were to leave the house right now, would you change your outfit all? i wouldn’t need to, but i would.

When was the last time something really cute happened to you? last night. 

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? i am.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that’s made you really happy? i had a great birthday with the people that cared to celebrate it. 

Do you want to see someone right now? no. 

Did a boy or girl text message you last? Guy.

When was the last time something bothered you? today. 

What was the last thing you looked up on Youtube? the way to recharge ac on my own for the car

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? Nah but this week i will

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings?  no he doesnt

What exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? a lot of stuff lol. 

Do you actually love your parents? my mom yes, not my dad.

Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? no, but we never hard like official ones.

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? a mixture but definitely more towards wallflower.

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? i dont know that id actively try to see either but probably swift.

Have you ever thrown up from working out? once

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have?  its a white background with black polkadots.

Are your days full and fast-paced?  half of the week my days are PACKED. the other half are slow thankfully

What languages can you count to ten or higher in?  english, spanish, ASL.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? i think either amazon or like target.

Are you good with painting nails with your left hand? its ok. 

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? only a very, very, very small handful of people. 

Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? when my grandpa was alive and had pretty bad dementia, he would sometimes say things like that were MILD innuendos and never about his family but just like obscure. it was kinda funny.

Do you spend more time outside or inside? Inside.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? i guess computer sadly.

Do you own any fake designer purses? No.

Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? its been a litttle bit. i just love clean, clean, clean scents.

Do you think braces are sexy? lol no. 

What were you for halloween in first grade? bumblebee.  Last person to make you seriously mad? uhhhhh either K or mom Don’t you hate when people have cell phones but never answer them? No, no it doesnt bother me.

Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Z What kind of toothpaste do you use? i think colgate

Last thing you bought at the grocery store? uhhhh probably hair stuff.

What were you doing this morning at 1am? staring at my phone waiting for a response i would not get.

What could someone do to irritate you? say they love/care for me but then ignore me and make me feel worthless. SIMULTANEOUSLY

Have you used a tissue today? i did. multiple.

The last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? i would probably be relieved tbh.

What color hair does your mom have? Black/silver

When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? yep. 

Honestly, did you really love the last person you said I love you to?  more than he will ever grasp.

When was the last time you were told you were cute? last night

How was your Friday? lovely.

When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? like the 26th of june.

Did you speak to your father today? no, ive not spoken to him since i had to text him and say that his grandson was born. 

What was the last thing you drank? lemonade vitarain

Is there anyone you want to come see you? up until last night i would have screamed yes to this. i think right now, i would say forget it. i need my life to look different

How did you wake up this morning?  i just woke up organically.

[sophiagonzales]

Just a Small Town Girl, Livin’ in a Parisian World

Bonjour mes amies!

This has been one eventful, yet fulfilling, week. Since the first day of this trip, I experience culture shock quite often. There have been a few days as a group we became confused due to mealtimes, needing directions, and overall just understanding the language. Several times throughout the week I have been very thankful to learning French, though I do wish the vocabulary was sorted better in my brain. When going in out, whether alone or as a group, people come asking for directions of with questions and I take a long time to respond in French even though I can understand what is being spoken. At the end of those interactions I usually feel very accomplished, I was especially proud of myself when going out with the group on Friday night.

On Friday we had a packed day. The Louvre, savory crepes (yum!), a classical music concert in Saint Chapelle, gelato, and the a student only trip to see the Eiffel Tower at midnight. My heart was full after this day, getting to live so vicariously through the art and music brought so much happiness to my soul. Whenever we go to museums I have been able to share my knowledge of art with the rest of the group, while also making connections to the past history lessons I’ve had. At some point a small group of us ran into each other while exploring the Louvre, and we all made plans to eat crepes before the concert. It was exciting for Meredith and I to show Louis (our guest star for the weekend) everything we had been able to experience in Paris thus far. It was also our mission to show him every famous attraction to Paris in two days, an impossible task was afoot.

After the best crepe I’ve yet to try, the group set off to Saint Chapelle. To say my jaw was on the floor is truly an understatement. To see this 13th century architecture and stain glass was unreal, if I remember our entire group just stopped in the entrance due to the grandeur. When we finally sat down and allowed other patrons in, the ambience shifted. The classical music and beauty of the room took my breath away. Something I feel is left out of many peoples experience to art (this includes music), is allowing yourself to emote with each measure or gaze. We did the reading about slowing down, and it’s a very good reading because people can actually know to live with the romanticism of life. There’s a great Emily Dickinson quote that reads,

“To own the Art within the Soul— The Soul to entertain—With Silence as a Company— And Festival maintain— Is an unfurnished Circumstance— Possession is to one— As an Estates perpetual— Or a reduceless Mine.

There are many layers to this quote, however I feel as though it really grasps the state of mind one should try to be when observing art. After the gorgeous performance, we naturally went out for gelato at Amorino. I was able to do my entire order in French, I tried the best melon gelato of all time, and as a group we were just relating in experiences of our days here in Paris. The biggest excursion to come out of this day would end up being the journey to the Eiffel Tower. Saying goodbye to Nancy (our Professor for the trip), all twelve of us trekked toward Notre Dame to find the Metro. The ticket machine at the first stop was not working, I had to run after a worker to ask for help. He did not speak much English, however after listening to him speak with another man in French, I was able to decipher the directions to the next stop. Eventually we all ran to the next metro station, hoping to get to the Eiffel Tower in time for the lights.

It was in this station that we rode on our first double decker metro train, which was quite cool in my opinion. Somehow with 12 collective minds, we had made it to the park, ending the day with the most spectacular glittering monument. I’m usually the old lady of any friend group, going to bed early, but we stayed out almost till 1AM. This resulted in me sleeping in till around noon the next day. Saturday, our day off, was my favorite day of this trip so far. Since our trip to Giverny was cancelled, I chose to treat majority of the day as a solo day until dinner which I would have with Meredith and Louis.

During my solo day I went shopping, visiting a comic store and a oriental jewelry/craft shop where I got a few gifts for my friends and family. After shopping I bought a small lunch and sat in the Jardin du Luxembourg, I spent 2-3 hours there admiring things around me and also sketching some of my observations. I was then able to navigate my way back home without any assistance and read a bit more of “A Moveable Feast” while Louis and Meredith took their nap (or siesta as Louis would put it). Once everyone was rejuvenated, we went to my favorite restaurant by far on Rue Mouffetard called “TournBride”. We all shared 3 different desserts, and gave an infamous review to the two ladies sitting next to us. The women were from Australia and the Netherlands, who used to work together in New York, it was very nice meeting them. After dinner we spent our night just enjoying each other’s company while sitting in front of the Pantheon. That entire day felt like a dream.

I can’t wait to share more!

Votre ami dévouée,

Sophia Gonzales

[koreandragon]

twitter is literally so toxic though ppl on there make you feel guilty for everything its like they cant breathe if there's no drama. you're right about fans being able to do something if they actually tried but it's so smart of companies to target younger girls too, most fans are younger women that are already insecure about themselves that find comfort in their artists and that's the only source of their happiness which is too risky to put on the line for a bigger cause. capitalism plays with fear so well, it thrives on people taking things personally and then holding the things that matter to them like bait hanging on a hook. and the kpop industry is so big at this point that if fans really do start banding together to boycott a group or smth (which they've tried multiple times before already) companies are just gonna stop investing in them and debut a new group. companies don't give a crap about their artists as people, they're all commodities that are put on display only until they bring them profit. fans are probably gonna have to stop supporting kpop as a whole for this injustice to stop, which will eventually happen because everything has a downfall, but it's too big of a goal for fans to reach right now, with the current hallyu wave and political connections sk is making through it's entertainment industry atm.

i agree a 100%. i did think about it afterwards that fans who bulk buy or zombie stream or whatever are mostly under the age of 18 which is like...i bought youtuber books when i was 15 and i have no use for anymore, they could sell me anything when i was younger, like i specifically have this one memory when one of my favorite disney channel shows was nominated for kids choice and i got tweetdeck to auto tweet the hashtag that got them the votes. every time i tweeted (which i did a lot) i added the hashtag too it was actually so crazy i still remember it. 

the recent thing with the rose too (i cry every day) is so enraging, they couldn’t even win the lawsuit against their company, they can’t do anything because of their contract, the company even deleted the song they made for their fans after all this went down from every platform they could. they didn’t care that the members weren’t paid for years, or were overworked as long as they went on their tour and filled the venues and got their songs streamed. 

when you’re a kpop fan you have to face the reality every day that you are supporting an exploitative industry when all you wanna do is enjoy good music. you want to support your artists but you can’t do that without supporting the company behind it. there is no ethical consumption under capitalism.

also i don’t know how much i’m contributing to this conversation rn it’s 1:30am and i don’t know what else to say other than this shit is fucked up

[crispycrimebrulee]

hiii! i love your work and I really admire the way you write 💕💖, so I couldn't resist making a request hehe. if it's not too much of a hassle, i'd like 11 or 22 for Illumi, please. thank you very much in advance, i send you a lot of love from Madrid uwuwu 💗💕💞😘 (and sorry for my bad English 😓😭)

your english is wonderful >:( also MADRID!!! I wanna go to Madrid...

[Prompt #22 "Stop Being Seductive!" "I Was Being Myself, But Okay"] [Fluff and a bit of Crack because I couldnt help it]

A Date?

You stood on the outskirts of a private estate, ¾ of the view of the mansion obscured by a hedge of lush green arborvitae rising above a brick wall about twice your height. Not that you would have been able to see much if the obstructions weren’t there, it was the dead of night and the mansion only provided faint specks of light in the distance, with the scattered decorative lamp posts offering faint halos of light every few feet, but still managing to leave you shrouded in darkness.

Frankly, you had no reason to be there; in the mansion, near it, or outside of it. You had been asked to accompany Illumi on a job, and although this had slowly become a frequent occurrence, it always puzzled you every time. The first time he’d asked you, he had essentially appeared in your living room and asked you to come with him “somewhere” and upon asking him to clarify, he followed with again asking you to come with him, this time saying to join him on a job. You had been ready to participate, but he ended up leaving you standing around nowhere near the actual action, and would then return to you after 30 minutes and would bring you home. Now, this had been about the tenth time he’d asked you to join him on a job, knowing very well he’d have you standing around waiting for him. This was only made stranger by the fact that not only did he have someone that he did jobs with (a questionable jester), but you had actually actively participated in jobs with Illumi, so why Illumi had changed your position from job partner to benching you. In his defense, you had failed to ask him why he had been doing this lately, rather, you had been attempting for the last 3 or so meetings to figure it out yourself. There were no logical reasons as to why he dragged you to his missions but his ‘work partner’, as Illumi so endearingly referred to, had once run into you while you were waiting on the sidelines for Illumi and given you a strange bit of insight in passing.

He had questioned why Illumi had you waiting out there all by your lonesome, knowing how much Illumi cared for you. Cared for you? That was an interesting bit of news… Illumi had never made it apparent that he so much as a thought of you other than a work associate, let alone that he ‘cared’ for you beyond that. As this jester had left you standing in the dark, a final passing comment of “what a strange way to bond with someone you fancy” caught you off guard.

A way to bond?

Someone you fancy?

Granted this was Illumi Zoldyck you were talking about, and he was dense like fruitcake in terms of making bonds and connections other than things pertaining strictly to work, but the thought of him fancying you and trying to bond with you made your gears turn.

On your end, you’d done a surprisingly good job at keeping your own feelings towards Illumi at bay, weary about how he would react to the prospect of someone fancying him. You couldn’t really lie to yourself when you thought about him. One would definitely call him strange, which was an understatement in most circumstances, but something about his strangeness and lack of awareness for social cues was oddly endearing. Little quirks about how he liked his tea or the occasional indulgence he took part in, or his particular hair care routine always managed to captivate you. Along with his (albeit something he was at a default) honesty and genuine answers, and his offhand compliments, you struggled to keep yourself together at his awkwardness. Not to mention, he was simply physically stunning, while some would call him rather plain. It might be his plainness that intrigued you, but it wasn’t like it’d be wrong to think so. Even if you felt this way about him, he had no way of knowing, and you had no inclination that it was reciprocated. He’d never made it known about having feelings for you, so you wondered if the two of you were playing an evenly matched waiting game with each other at this juncture.

Why would he feel the same anyway? It’s not like you were eccentric like that questionable jester Illumi was friends with, or that you came from an affluent family of assassins… you provided no value to Illumi other than… company.

“Let's go.”

You shifted your eyes around, noticing Illumi standing beside you, his eyes burning into yours. How long had he been standing there…?

You nodded, picking yourself up off the wall, and began walking back the way you two had come, only for Illumi to stand in front of you and stop you.

“This way.” he pointed behind you and you turned, looking at hazy streetlamps down the way.

“But home is” you pointed past him in the opposite direction, “this way.”

“I am bringing you somewhere. This way.” he turned you around and began walking further away from home with you in tow.

“Where are we goin’ Illu?” you asked, wondering what was past the dark street if anything at all.

“The park,” he answered, still walking, his eyes straight ahead.

Wasn’t it around 1am? What could be at the park at this hour?

Upon arriving at the park, the park was equally as dark as the street by the mansion, and since the scarce lights in the park were so dim, it only served to make the park feel barren, especially with only you and Illumi here.

He’d stopped by a bench situated in front of a small pond, the water gently breaking the silence whilst reflecting soft moonlight, and you couldn’t help but get lost in your thoughts while staring at the dark pond until Illumi called your name.

You didn’t answer, you only let your distant gaze fall on him, taking him in one aspect at a time. Everything, everything was perfect about him, regardless if that was what he was ‘created’ to be or if your thoughts about him made you feel like he was perfect. What had his friend been thinking, “someone you fancy”? Compared to Illumi you were nowhere near perfection, you still had so much work to do on yourself and perfecting your trade, yet the hint that Illumi felt something towards you felt absolutely absurd when you realized what you were up against. Apart from living up to his family's expectations, would you be able to live up to his? Highly unlikely, at least to you.

There you stood, brooding at Illumi who was merely standing there looking stunning, although there was rarely a time he didn’t.

“Y/n.”

Nothing out of you yet again, still brooding.

“Y/n.”

Again, calling out to you like you’d left the scene as he stared at you as you stared at him.

“Y/n you are staring.”

You scowled, finally looking away, huffing as you did so.

“You’re being….seductive. Stop being seductive!” you muttered, attempting to inspect the tops of your shoes.

You glanced at him and he blinked, big eyes holding a sense of genuine confusion as he slowly answered.

“I was not.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I was being myself, but okay y/n.”

You sighed, giving him a glare as you sat down on the bench, feeling somewhat defeated and wholly embarrassed for attempting to call him out… on seductiveness.

“Why’d you bring me here anyways?” you asked, kicking at the rocks on the ground.

“A date.”

You turned your head fast enough you felt the strain in your neck from doing so. Eyes wide and full of confusion, you attempted to string a coherent sentence together all while giving him a bewildered look.

“Date? Now?”

“Yes. This is a date.”

You cocked your head to the side and squinted at him.

As smart as he is, he seems to be as thick as mince when it comes to dates…

“Illumi this isn’t… a date.”

“Yes, it is.”

“We’re sitting in a park, Illu. In the middle of the night.”

“Did you prefer the previous occurrences as dates?”

“What previous occurrences…” you whispered, wondering how he could become vaguer and vaguer with his view of dates.

“My missions.”

“Those were dates?!” you slumped down in your spot, rubbing your face with your hands.

“Were you not aware.”

“Those aren’t dates! You never even asked me on a date!”

“I asked you to come with me.”

“That's asking to tag along! Not a date!”

He was silent for a moment, looking at you with a classically vacant look before speaking up.

“I will take you on a date.”

“That’s a nice sentiment, Lumi, but when? And why?”

“Tomorrow. I like you.”

Slack-jawed but somewhat satisfied (courtesy of his honesty, no matter how jarring) you nodded slowly, wondering if that jester wasn’t so wrong after all.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

He took a seat by you, watching the water as well. You never could tell what he was thinking, and more often than not you’d rather not find out, but whatever those thoughts were now… he seemed calmer, almost or at least at ease. Whether that was due to your acceptance of a (proper) date or not was something you’d maybe find out later, but that was of little concern right now.

The main concern would be finding a last-minute date outfit… and hoping it wasn’t the park during the day.

[itsukkie]

On My Mind

Characters: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Words: 3.1k

Genre: fluff :)

Summary: How long is it going to take for Tsukkishima to get over himself and finally confess to you? Five times Tsukki wanted to kiss you + the first time he did.

Edited?: nope

a/n: I’m new to tumblr! I’ve never written my own fic before. I mostly wrote this to cope with my own yearning... If you have any suggestions for how to improve my writing or formatting please let me know.

1) 

You never liked chemistry, but that’s why Tsukishima was there. You were fully capable of understanding the material by yourself but Tsukki didn’t have a great deal of faith in your patience.

You groaned slumping back into the kitchen chair and stared at the sheet in front of you. What were you doing wrong? Tsukishima could tell you were getting frustrated by the way your cheeks were flushed and the way your hands were tangled in your own hair as you racked your brain for the right answer. Tsukki briefly glanced at you, studying the way you furrowed your brows and pursed your lips while thinking before silently returning to his own work. Although his eyes were focused on his own work in front of him, he wondered why you hadn’t caved already and asked for his help. 

“Tsukki-,” you looked over at him.

“Do it yourself,” he replied, not even glancing up from his English homework. You let out a small huff. Why did he do that? He wanted to help you. He wanted to lean over your shoulder and feel the warmth of your back pressing against his chest and smell the honey tones of your shampoo. He wanted to see if he could make you flustered by whispering in your ear. But more than anything he wanted to see up close the look in your eyes when he told you that you were correct. So why did he do that? 

Maybe he could just walk to your side and lean over the table, using his hand to guide your face to look at his. How would you react if he leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead, pulling you into his chest? Would your body relax under his if he whispered sweet affirmations, letting you know just how smart and amazing he thought you were?

But before Tsukki could act on any of his daydreams the front door thrashed open. You looked up to see Hinata and Kageyama panting, kneeling at your front door catching their breath. 

“I touched the door first,” Kageyama uttered in between shaky breaths. 

“I was first inside though!” Hinata yelled, getting up from the floor and walking toward the kitchen where you and Tsukki sat. “Y/N! Thank you once again for tutoring us on a weekend,” he said through a toothy smile.

Tsukishima sighed as he watched you close your chemistry textbook and greet his two annoying teammates. Pulling his headphones from around his shoulder and onto his ears, he tapped his foot to the sound of soft lofi music. But no matter how loud he set the volume, he couldn’t drown out the sound of your intoxicating voice. 

2) 

Tsukishima will deny the fact that he was eagerly awaiting your call when he heard a new art exhibition opened up in town. Of course he’d never have the guts to ask you himself, he just always counted on you to make the first move. 

That’s why both of you stood in front of a canvas encased in an elegant gold frame. Your eyes were fixed on the painting, and given the fact the tickets were 2000 yen Tsukki should’ve also been relishing in the beauty of the exhibit. But he just couldn’t take his eyes off you. The headphones that were wrapped around his head were silent, the calming voice of the tour guide on pause, preferring to hear you talk about how you read about this painting in an art history book. 

He loved the way your wide eyes sparkled, even in the dim lighting of the exhibit. When you walk forward, hoping to get a better view of the detail work, a gold ray of light, reflected off the statue standing behind you, makes its way onto your face, and Tsukishima swears you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. With all the people crowded in the exhibit he wonders why no one has yet to stop in front of you to admire you the way he does. And when your mouth slowly curls up into a smile he basks in your magnetism. 

He’s thankful you’re wearing headphones, listening to the virtual tour guide, because he forces himself to take a deep breath to stop himself from wrapping his hand around your waist and pulling you into him. He wants to tell you just how grateful he is that you always ask him to come with you to visit new showcases, even though he rarely pays attention to the actual exhibit. He thinks to himself that this is probably the most romantic place to kiss you right now. But he holds back, turning on his heels and walking to the next painting. 

3) 

You were a smug little brat. Look at you smiling at him from across the classroom, your shoulders rolled back and your chest puffed up with confidence. Debate was Tsukki’s least favourite class activity given his natural aversion to public speaking. But in the moment Tsukishima barely realized that all eyes were on him as he stood at the podium, because how could he focus when you were right there, standing across from him, refuting his arguments one by one?

Tsukishima kept his usual cool outer appearance but he just wished he could let everyone know how proud he was whenever you delivered an especially cruel line. Look at them, that’s the one I love, and they’re smarter than any of you.  Of course it was just as fun watching you get flustered, stumbling over your own words trying to formulate your response to his remarks. 

Something about watching you argue ignited a fire under Tsukishima. You were throwing facts and evidence at him, smirking as the class banged their fists against their desks in support after every point you made. But Tsukki long forgot about his classmates, not even addressing them in his speech, he was only talking to you. 

You kept looking toward your peers, staring them in the eyes as you spoke with charisma. Look at me, Tsukki thought. He wanted you to look him in the eyes while you demolished his arguments. Watching your self-satisfied smile, he wanted to shut your mouth the one way he knew would make you stop talking. What would happen if he snuck his hand into your hair, pulled you to his chest and forced you to look up at him? Would you still have all the confidence you do now?

Tsukishima let a small smile form on his lips. You were too smart for your own good.

4) 

Tsukishima doesn’t understand why you prefer studying at a library when home is so much more comfortable. Plus, if you guys had just stayed home he wouldn’t have needed to walk in the freezing cold winter air with you to get home. But he agreed to coming with you anyway because for some reason it’s just too hard to say no to you.

At least his hands were warmed by the coffee cups he held in his hands. You were beaming about how you heard this place sells the best hot chocolate when you guys passed it. Now you were putting your wallet back in your bag as Tsukki held both of the cups for you. He remarks to himself that one day he’ll pay for both of you. When you grab your cup you shoot him a smile as you keep walking down the sidewalk. You take a large sip and yelp at the scorching temperature of the drink, your tongue now feeling numb.

“Idiot,” Tsukki utters, watching you fan your tongue. 

“Okay I probably should’ve let it cool down a bit, but it was so worth it, try it.” 

Tsukki glances down at your eager eyes and reluctantly lifts the cup to his mouth. Closing his eyes he slowly takes a small sip, careful not to burn himself and that’s when he hears your roaring laughter. When he looks down he sees what you’re giggling over. His vision was impaired, his glasses completely fogged up from the steam of his hot chocolate. Of course he couldn’t see you but he was sure you were relishing in how stupid he looked in that moment, but hearing your laugh he thought to himself that it might just be worth it. 

Still giggling you stand on your tippy toes and pull his glasses from off his face. Tsukishima is startled, although he doesn’t show it. He watches your blurry figure clean his glasses on your jacket before watching you slowly come into focus as you gently lay them atop his ears again. He realizes just how close your face is to him, he realizes how precariously you’re standing. If you were to lose balance you’d fall right into his chest, or maybe your lips might even collide with his. 

“What’re you thinking?” You ask, stepping back to look up at him. What is he thinking? He was thinking of how stunning you looked with snowflakes lightly decorating your hair and your nose and cheeks dusted red from the cold air. He was thinking about pulling you back up to where you were, holding onto your cheek and your waist and leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. 

“It’s mediocre at best,” he scoffs and continues walking. You feign a hurt face and quickly catch up to him. He thinks that tasting the hot chocolate from your lips would make it infinitely better.

5) 

Tsukki wanted to kill whoever was knocking on his cabin door at 1am. He was already exhausted from all the hiking, climbing, and biking he had done the day before. Tomorrow morning his year would make their way back to school and Tsukishima hated sleeping on the bus. 

He groaned as he stood up from his bed, walking past a groggy Yamaguchi who also heard the soft knocks at the door. He opened it, looking through squinted eyes, and was unsurprised when he was met with the wide awake eyes of Hinata and Yachi, and a yawning Kageyama who lazily propped himself against the cabin wall. But he was shocked to see you with them, standing in your plaid pajama bottoms and an oversized hoodie. 

“Do you wanna go stargazing?” You asked, jumping up and down to keep yourself warm

Was that even a question? He hates to admit to himself how many times he has imagined a moment like this with you. 

“It’s way past curfew, we’re gonna get in trouble.” Tsukishima heard himself reply in a raspy voice. Yamaguchi poked his head out from behind Tsukki, seeing what all the commotion was about.

“We checked the teachers’ cabin and they’re all asleep, and we’ll be quiet.” Hinata was beaming with excitement. He wanted to try playing on the beach volleyball court. 

“Is it even possible for you to be quiet?” Tsukki glared, leaving Yamaguchi lightly chuckling. 

“Please,” you pleaded, making the saddest puppy eyes you could. How could he not say yes to your wide and playful smile? Before he knew it, he had thrown on a sweater and was quietly running along the dirt path. The six of you giggled and hushed each other as you made your way to the open field.

Tsukishima felt his heart stop completely when you took his hand, making him run alongside you after you noticed him lagging behind. Your laugh was the most contagious thing he’s ever heard. 

You two laid on the grass looking up at the clear night sky. You explained astrology to him while he rolled his eyes, and he explained the physics behind star formation. You had read about constellations and the Greek mythology behind them, and as you passionately ranted to him about the fresh-water serpent Hydra while pointing to the sky, he never lifted his eyes from your face. He noticed a few of your moles and freckles that dotted your side-profile, and in his head he created his own myth behind the creation of your constellation. 

You felt his gaze on your side-profile and when you turned your head to face him, his heart dropped and his hands twitched as they longed to reach out and brush through your hair. 

“What?” You smiled at him. Tsukishima wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful and that, despite all his best efforts, he had hopelessly fallen in love with you. Just look at you. You were so beautiful in the moonlight. He wished he could stare at you all night long, he wished the sun would never come out and he could lay there by your side forever. 

“You have dirt on your face,” he coldly let out, wiping at your chin and pretending to wipe the dirt of his finger before turning away from you to look back up. You muttered an embarrassed ‘thanks’ not even noticing the way his fingertips lingered on your cheek before looking back up as well. 

You both had turned silent, and Tsukishima was angry at himself for ruining the moment. He wished he was braver and bolder, he wanted the confidence to tell you how actually felt. But before he could think about it more, Hinata came running over, pulling you up from the ground and leading you to where Yamaguchi and Yachi found a frog. 

As Hinata tugged you away, running at lightning speed, you barely had the chance to look back at Tsukishima, who had sat up, watching you talk to his teammates. He dug the heels of his hand into his eyes, sighing before looking up at the moon. 

“The moon is beautiful isn’t it?” He whispered to himself.

6)

Tsukishima wasn’t himself today. How was he supposed to be when you weren’t there? He stared out the window all day instead of teasingly kicking the back of your chair, throwing playful notes onto your desk when the teacher wasn’t looking. How was he supposed to focus on the lecture when you weren’t there to motivate him? Lunchtime was quieter than usual. He listened to Yamaguchi rant about this new anime he had started and stared silently at his shortcake. He missed the way you’d interject with your own (usually idiotic) opinions and whine on his shoulder, asking for a piece of strawberry. Sometimes you would make him feed it to you, and although he’d never admit it, he loved it when you did. The last straw was at practice where Kageyama just wouldn’t stop bugging him about his lazy decoy work. Tsukishima was supposed to be the sharp one, the one with the best game sense, so how come he kept missing spike after spike, serve after serve, block after block. 

Coach Ukai let him leave early, today obviously wasn’t his day, and Tsukishima complained that if he was in the same room with Kageyama for another minute someone was going to get hurt. It was all your fault, he thought to himself as he stopped in front of your house. You were such a fucking dumbass. You just had to get sick today.

Your mother let him in, smiling at the familiar face and let him climb the stairs to your bedroom. He softly opened the door expecting you to be sleeping but you were sitting up straight in bed, sipping on a steaming cup of tea. He loved the way your hair was tousled and how you looked at him with tired eyes. 

“You should be sleeping,” he said plainly, dropping his bag onto the floor by your desk.

“Did you miss me that much,” you remarked in a raspy voice. He wished he had bought cough drops for you. 

“I just came to drop off the work you missed.” Tsukishima turned away to rifle through his backpack, hoping that with his back turned you wouldn’t hear how shaky his breathing was. Plopping the papers on the desk, Tsukki turned back around to see you with your arms stretched out.

“Can I have a hug?” 

“No, you’re gonna get me sick.” Tsukki hated himself for saying that. Why couldn’t he just get over himself and his stupid pride. All he’s ever wanted was to lay in bed with you, tuck you into his chest, and feel your shoulders rise with every breath you took. He’s imagined the way it would tickle to feel your steady breaths against the skin of his neck more times than he’d care to admit. “Go back to sleep.” He said plainly before slinging his bag back around his shoulders and leaving you to rest. 

Just as Tsukishima was about to leave through the front door, your mother bumped into him with a bowl of soup, asking him if he’d be so kind as to bring it to your room.

When he opens your door again he laughs to himself seeing you had already fallen fast asleep, in just a matter of seconds. He gently placed the bowl on your bedside table, gently nudging you to wake up. But you were out cold; even when Tsukishima said your name your body had no response. The soup probably needed time to cool down anyway, what’s more important is that you get enough rest. 

Tsukishima took this opportunity to admire you. How your parted lips enticed him, how the skin of your cheeks flushed from your fever, the way your hair stuck to your forehead from all the beads of sweat that ran down. Tsukki decided to head to your bathroom, running a hand-towel under some cold water. He knelt down in front of you and gently dabbed the sweat off your face, careful not to wake you up. You looked so peaceful. 

Tsukishima thought about the way you lived in his mind. You were everywhere now. Looking at your parted lips he thought about how your fingers brushed up against his cheek that one time drinking hot chocolate, how he remembers that moment every time he reaches to put his glasses on in the morning; about how he could never look at the stars without hearing your faint, siren-like voice echoing in the back of his head. You had slithered your way into every aspect of his life. He thought that maybe if he indulged a bit, you would stop showing up in every single one of his dreams at night. This was his chance to do so.

He thought of himself as a coward, he could never bring himself to tell you how he felt while you were awake. This was greedy self-indulgence.

He called your name again, and when you didn’t budge he whispered a faint “I love you”, pressing a long kiss to your forehead. Standing back up, he placed the towel by your bedside before picking up his bag and leaving.

A weak smile made its way across your lips, your eyes barely fluttering open when you heard the front door close.

You whispered in a raspy voice, “I love you too.”

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 24 (SEASON 2 FINALE PT 1!!)

Ahhh... yes. I'm finally here. A slow, crawl to catch up but I'm getting there lol. These last two episodes were pretty great and fluffy and then just ended with a crescendo with Kureno that just... abruptly moved me at 1am in the morning! (I didn't ask for it, except I did by just watching this show)

Anyways, let's get into it!

--------------------------------------------------------------

- Awww, yay! End of year party for the presidential club!

Fuckin' RIGHT, Kakeru?! 😂

But for real, I love that Yuki makes such a real effort to make sure Machi is included. Even if it is kinda his responsibility, you can really see the side of him who's desperately nice towards people because he really wants people to like him. However, with Machi specifically, it's the same attitude in a slightly different tone... I wonder why.... <3

- Also, I love Kimi but she sidelines Machi so hard in this episode, like why, dearest, why?!

- Yuki and Kakeru's easy friendship makes me smile almost as much as Kyo and Tohru's cute moments

- The english VA for Machi's mum hit extra hard for some reason. It felt so mean! Great performance, but damn dude lol

- Machi and Yuki noticing each other silently from afar is killing me with it's cuteness and it's so old school romantic? Yet so delightfully awkward as well, it's amazing

Damn, Machi... Fruits Basket's depictions of depression and anxiety have always been pretty spot on through the visuals and through the expressions and metaphors used to describe it. I just really appreciate that Takaya-sensei was so honest with the portrayals of different factions of mental health while still making the story something you still want to come back to.

...But yes, please help Machi! 🥺

Pshhhh <3 Their flustered, anxious, frustrated energy is a lot but I'm here for it

Group shot! Yayyyy :3 I also just wanna say Kimi and Kakeru were contenders for Outfit Appreciation this episode but this episode was bursting full of good looks! Let’s just say... they were 4th and 5th place.

Speaking about flustered, anxious, frustrated energy...

Kyo: ...please, guys. 😅😂🥰 

(Tohru would’ve been in Outfit Appreciation as I love this outfit but I already gave it to her the first time she wore it so...)

Ahaaaaaa 🤣- I love when Tohru gets to be funny!

But awww, Tohru and Kyo staying together at Shishou’s for New Year’s is so cute! <3 Kyo’s definitely right in saying that it feel’s like a proposal... tee hee 

Oh. my. God. A goddess is amongst us. This one was so tough as I love herrr and this might be my 2nd favourite look from her but... she’s 3rd place in Outfit Appreciation. You’ll soon understand why... don’t kill me lol

Lol, so much alpha energy.

Ok.

Ok.

Are you ready?

😍😍😍

...Hatori’s so pretty! And I think he’s wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the illustration in the ending credits? Yes, he gets no. 1 in Outfit Appreciation mostly because he looks amazing in it but I don’t care. I’m biased. I’m imperfect. But I... I’m in love lol

Ritsu gets no. 2 in Outfit Appreciation because you can tell he tried and it’s vibrant and prettier than Hatori’s and I feel bad for not putting him first because of my FEELINGS.

Anyway...

He’s a bitch but he’s right. It was from here that I started to suspect that Shigure’s energy this episode was a little bit more shifty than usual...

Ah... my baby boy. I’m so happy he got this moment. To make it a 100% clear about where and who he is now despite the oncoming backlash. At first, I was a bit concerned about him taking the complete blame for all the abuse that people put on him when he was a child (and technically still is, for now) but I also think in a way he’s trying to be gentle with his approach of being honest with Akito in the hopes that she seeks redemption too. 

As a certain doctor says later, “You’re so kind.”

- Akito’s reaction of course was on brand. But, it was pretty stylistic with the call back to Kureno’s curse breaking

- There’s something about Eric Vale’s performance of Yuki in this episode that’s so... human? I know, that’s a weird way of saying it but Yuki’s so normally put together (on the surface) and it has shown in his voice pretty much since the start of the anime. But slowly, Eric has been adding different and more expressive fluctuations and tones in Yuki’s voice episodes since the beach arc and it feels like in this episode he just completely let loose and it’s now completely slipped into Yuki’s casual conservational speak now. It’s just neat :)

And, I think I can say the same for Hatori’s VA Kent Williams. This is the most expressive Hatori has been in this show so far! It’s great. :3 Although, I think for Hatori he’s only stoic when he feels he has to distance himself to keep himself together from either the situation or the person. Very Doctor-like.

But back to the story, I appreciate that Takaya-sensei thought to tie up their relationship with each other and have them be cool because honestly? I even forgot that Yuki didn’t trust Hatori around Tohru for a while. This moment was so nice and warm! <3

- ‘Don’t turn into Ayame’ 😆

Stop it, Goblin King.

Did she fall asleep standing up because... you know...

I’ll show myself out.

Lalalalala Tohru and Kyo being cute and pleasant and sharing stories from their past lalalalala 🎶☺️

Lalalalala 🎶☺️

Lalal- wAit. Flirty Kyo?! 😳🤡

...stupids. <3

Ok, I just wanna end this by leaving some screen caps from the final moments because it just solidifies why I love this anime :3 

👀🤡

<3

-----------------------------------------------------------

Wow, recapping this episode was oddly refreshing as I’m still living with the climax of episode 25 and Kureno...

So, that means... I’ll see you soon >:)

[yuzusorbet]

Continuing Kikuchi-san's book 'Strongly, beautifully,....'

If you have not read the earlier parts, please read them first.  See my previous posts in tumblr, OR the master post on FB.  

Chapter 2, parts 3 and 4 and 5: the relaxed athlete and the anxious trainer at Sochi  (t/n. this is my own summarised title of the 3 parts) (For these parts, I summarised or left out some sentences that are not so important to the main storyline.)

At Sochi Olympics, Yuzuru was in the team event and the singles event. 

That child had just turned 19, there was no pressure, and he did not know fear.  My job was to instruct and assist him for the warm-up.  And also, icing and body care after the performance.

Just like how choreography and costumes were clearly separated and taken care of by different people, taking care of the skater's body was the trainer's job.  Coach Brian did not give me any concrete instructions and he did not say anything about Yuzuru's warm-up.  I also did not interfere with figure skating techniques.  Anyway, I could not give any advice for that.  It was only my 4th time watching it at the venue.  And only my 2nd time at an overseas competition.

Even so, I could feel the enormity of the Olympics.  I felt the pressure of this huge stage.  I saw it in the faces of the athletes.  However, Yuzuru did not seem to feel much pressure.  He looked quite relaxed.

-------------------

The Sochi Olympics that Yuzuru faced in a relaxed manner, for me it was a series of big failures.

Firstly, when I made the warm-up plan for Sochi, I used Patrick Chan's methods as reference, but it was totally not suitable for Yuzuru.  Before official practice, he tried the warm-up programme that I had planned, and he became short of breath.  The reason is simple: there was too big a difference in stamina between Patrick Chan and Yuzuru at that time.  I realised that the warm-up which was effective for Patrick who was full of stamina, could not be used at all by Yuzuru.

Right up to the team event competition, I was discussing with Yuzuru and hurriedly making a new warm-up plan;  it was extremely poor support.

Speaking of poor support, the sports tape that is like the tool of my trade, became insufficient;  this is such a big mistake that if I were to be disqualified as a trainer because of this, I have nothing to say.  Normally, Yuzuru practised once a day.  But at Sochi, he skated at the rink twice a day.  Each time he wore his skate boots, the taping would be done again.  With more practice sessions, the tape I brought from Japan was  quickly used up.

To buy the tape, I ran around the streets of Sochi.  I was looking for medical shops or sports shops but the signs were all in Russian and could not be quickly understood.  I went into shops that looked like they would sell tape but I could not convey "please give me sports tape".   I used English and gestures, and somehow managed to buy some tape, but still the amount was not enough.

That kind of farce probably reached the ears of the Japan Skate Federation people.  "We will get the tape, so (you can focus on) supporting the athlete please."

I should have discussed with JSF staff right from the start.  I was too anxious and totally unable to see what was around me.

----------------

An important duty of the trainer is to get the skater's mental state ready. However, at Sochi, I kept disturbing Yuzuru's state of mind.  My biggest mistake was on the morning of the free skate.   For the short programme on the previous day, he had successfully made all the jumps and achieved a world record score of 101.45.  He was in first place.   Next, the free skate was coming up.

Official practice for the free skate was at 10am.  Considering the warm-up time needed, we would leave the Athletes' Village at 8am.  Before that, taping was needed, so I would have to go to Yuzuru's room at 7.30am.

However, Yuzuru's performance for the SP was too perfect and when I thought about the FS coming up, my heart started pounding.....  I could neither sit nor stand, and in the end, I left my room.  I reached Yuzuru's room 40 minutes ahead of time.

"Oh~, sensei, what's the matter?  You're very early," he said.

"I want to do a good job (with the taping) so I came over earlier," I made an excuse like that.  Frankly speaking, my usual self was already lost.

After the SP, there was a press conference which ended late.  By the time Yuzuru was back in his room, it was middle of the night, past 1am.  I should have let him rest a bit more, but I said, "Alright, let's do the taping."

"Eh? Now??"

My self of that moment paid no attention.  "What to do, what to do," I was panicking by myself and becoming flustered.

Yuzuru was trying his best to maintain his normal state of mind, so that he would not be swallowed up by the Olympic demon, that is, the atmosphere that prevents one from showing his usual abilities.  His trainer who was supposed to be his ally, was actively being an obstacle to his efforts.  I do not think that my actions gave him any good influence at all.  In any case, my self at Sochi Olympics had lost all common sense.

------------- Translated by me from Japanese book by Akira Kikuchi-san: https://www.amazon.co.jp

(next: last parts of chapter 2, coming soon)

[raynainseoul]

offboarding

1am KST [Feb 15] // 11am EST [Feb 14]

i will not lie to you all. everything after getting off the plane was hell. after toddling my way to temperature check with my oversized carry on bags, i was told my temp was .2 degrees too high, which was a conversation between me and a very enthusiastic man who did not speak enough english to understand me, and i not enough korean to understand him. he waved me past to the check in desks anyway, where two women told me to cool down before they tried my temperature again.

only one of the people in my group managed to clear the temp check, and they waved goodbye as the rest of us four fanned ourselves and tried not to overheat anymore. this was very difficult because we are four clowns that will laugh at literally anything, and apparently that raises your blood heat or something. idk. doctor vaish when you read this please fact check because regardless, not a single one of us managed to pass that temp check, all of us with a temperature about .1 degree too high. yeah, they’re THAT strict here. so, off we went to get another covid test.

there is something to be said about how endearing everyone here is in their attempts to communicate. my friends and their americanisms flew straight over the heads of mostly anyone that was trying to talk to us, and so the workers would often type out their responses into papago and show us the english translation on their phone so we’d know what they were trying to tell us. for four bumbling idiots, it was very nice that everyone in that airport tried their best not to let us flail as much as we accidentally insisted on doing.

when we finally got everything done, we prepared to be sent to a little holding facility next to the airport to wait for our covid results. they gave us little bulgogi burgers as dinner, and of course, i immediately dropped mine. this poor hazmat suit worker immediately dropped to the ground to get it for me, and it truly looked like he was proposing to me with a burger. day one in korea, and the men are already falling at my feet. who’s doing it like me? hah. hah. ha. ;_;

the airport holding facility is something akin to a very white collar jail cell. nykeia called it a martha stewart cell when she saw it through facetime and i suppose she’s right. it’s extremely sparse, but there’s a cot, a clean bathroom, a desk, and a tv. as far as holding cells go, it’s quite nice. they have anyone waiting on a test result stay here overnight while the swabs get processed, and if you’re negative, you return to the airport and are finally deposited to your two week quarantine hotel.

1:10am KST // 11:10am EST

I AM NEGATIVE!!

8:18am KST // 6:18pm EST

i am so hungry. i think my stomach will eat itself. but literally seconds after i wrote these words, the shuttle showed up. ON TO THE HOTEL!! HALLELUJAH!!

[maerenee930]

7, 10, 34, 47, 55 from the 65 questions :)

7. what shirt are you wearing?

- a black cropped tank top i got from Torrid and a Black sweatshirt i got from Hot Topic that has Sam from Supernatural on it and on the back it says Moose 😅 (it’s one of my favorite sweatshirts 🥰🖤)

10. what were you doing at midnight last night?

- i was laying in my bed. my depression was (and still kinda is, tbh) pretty bad and i didn’t feel like watching anything, so i just laid in bed, was letting myself feel how i need to and just let myself be. idk how else to describe it lol. i just was there 😅 and then my younger cousin came in my room (she stayed the night for the past few nights lol) and she was gonna get ready to go to bed and then she was being all goofy and singing some weird song she made up and that made me think of something, which lead us to bringing up random little (i guess) inside jokes we’ve made over the past 2 days and from last week and we got in one of those laughing fits for like almost 10 minutes 😅 like where we just ended up laughing at each other laughs and it somehow made it even funnier even though all of it was really stupid lol.

47. if you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

- are you living the way you’ve always wanted to and dreamed of?

(going on adventures, traveling with friends and a significant other. doing what my heart desires. living life to the fullest and doing what makes me truly happy)

55. can you do any accents other than your own?

- umm… i can kind of do a british accent. like not a super cheesy or the typical one people do to make themselves sound fancy lol. i love doctor who and have watched so many other english shows so when i’m alone i will talk to myself or my cat in those accents lol. oh or one time one of my best friends and i talked in british accents the whole day and later that night (like maybe 1am lol) we went out to eat with my brother and we were still talking like that (it was hard to stop and we were having too much fun lol) and when we got to the restaurant, my brother told us that if he didn’t stop with the accent, he was gonna get in his car and leave us there 😂 it was so funny. we didn’t mean to annoy him lol but it was an added bonus lmao. and then when we got in the restaurant we slipped in and out of it and it kept making my brother so mad 😂 we weren’t doing it on purpose 😅 we just couldn’t help it.

and i can kind of do an italian accent. both my grandparents on my mom’s side are from (born and raised) italy. so they have kinda strong accents and when we make fun of my papa (my grandpa. it’s okay, he’s an ass and deserves to be made fun of) we all talk like him and do his accent 😅

and i can barely do an irish, australian or russian accent. i just try them after watching certain things and i’m not really good at them lol. if anyone wants to hear me do any of the accents i mentioned, let me know and i will absolutely make a fool of myself to entertain anyone who wants it lol.

34 is answered under here ⬇️ my answer for the next one is super long (i am so so so sorry, i didn’t mean for it to and just thought i would do this so that no one had to try and scroll past it if they didn’t want to read it. i hope that makes sense lol)

34. what was your last dream about?

- so i don’t remember my dreams from last night, but i do remember the ones from the night before 😅 so i was at some hockey game (no idea why, not really a fan of hockey at all lmao) and so in the dream not only was Robert Sheehan there, but there were some characters from a movie i used to love as a kid (a live action movie. not a cartoon lol) and the characters from that movie were flirting with me and at some point randomly one of them told me they made a bet with someone that i wouldn’t give them a kiss (i have no idea why… lmao) so i ended up giving them both a kiss each and then nothing ended up coming from that lol.

and then there was this really cute girl in my dream who was flirting with me on and off through out the whole dream and at one point she was leaving this restaurant i went to after the hockey game (she was at the game as well and then happened to be at the same restaurant afterward lol) and gave me her number, told me to call her sometime and then she kissed me and it was really cute lol.

and then not long after that, Rob came to that restaurant and i guess in my dream, he was one of my best friends and so we sat down at a table and after we ordered food and while we were eating, we were talking and catching up. and okay one point he was asking me how my day was and what i’d been up to and so i filled him in on all of it and i could see he was getting a bit bothered by it. so i asked him if he was alright and he ended up saying to me, he wanted to tell me something that’s been on his mind for a while now but didn’t know how to say it and didn’t want to make me uncomfortable.

i remember getting really nervous cause i didn’t know where he was going with this and was pretty sure i made him upset and i didn’t know why or what i might’ve done. (my anxiety likes to make me feel like i’ve done something wrong at any chance it gets 🙃) so i asked him if i did something wrong and he reassured me that i didn’t but he didn’t wanna talk about it in here. so we end up going to his place (apparently in my dream he was renting a house to stay in while he was in the US cause we were definitely no at his place in London lol. it didn’t look like it at all 😅)

and so we get settled in his place and sat down and he took me hands and apologized for not wanting to talk about this in the restaurant, for making me wait to talk about it and he understands i must be feeling pretty anxious because he didn’t give me any indication as to what he wanted to talk about. and then he also apologized for not saying this sooner. so i reassured him it was alright and that i understand him wanting to talk about whatever it is at his place and asked him again if everything is alright. so as we’re sitting on his couch, i’m sitting on it facing him but like with my legs crossed up on the couch (idk how else to describe it lol)

he scooted in closer to me and told me that he had a hard time hearing me talk about flirting with other people and saying that i kissed them. he told me it hurt him even though he tried so hard to not let it get to him or bother him but he couldn’t help it. (i honestly didn’t expect things to go in this direction lol)

so i nodded and apologized that it hurt him. i told him i truly didn’t mean to and didn’t know that was something that would’ve bothered him. i told him that i don’t ever want to hurt him and i’m so sorry that i did. he smiled sweetly at me and put his left hand on my right cheek and kinda on my neck and jawline, and told me that it was okay and i didn’t need to apologize. he said that’s not why he told me that. he didn’t mean to make me feel bad. he just wanted to be honest with me. and as he said it, he gently rubbed his thumb on my cheekbone, and said speaking of being honest, he told me that for so long he had a crush on me. he really likes me and wish he had said something sooner.

he told me he hadn’t because he couldn’t tell if i was just being nice to him or if i was flirting with him and he said honestly that he didn’t expect to have feelings for me or fall for me.

he said when he met me for the first time, he could tell we were gonna become really good friends but he honestly didn’t expect to fall for me. he said he realized how shallow this was going to sound but i’m not normally the type of person physically that he’s attracted to. (i mean, i highly doubt he would be attracted to me seeing as how i’m 5’1 and plus size lol) so he apologized for how rude that came off and i reassured him that i completely understood and wasn’t offended.

i could see he was starting to kinda beat himself up because this wasn’t going how he wanted it to and it broke my heart 🥺 i ended up putting my hands on his cheeks, pulled his face in close to mine and told him that it’s okay. i understand what he’s trying to say and i appreciate him being so honest. he gave me a little smile but still looked somewhat upset with himself. he kinda sighed and thanked me for understanding. he gave me these sweet little puppy dog eyes and said “i just- i just love you and am so in love with you and i don’t want to lose you”.

so extremely touched by what he said i blushed and gave him a smile, looked into his gorgeous green eyes and told him that i feel the exact same way about him. i said that i’ve felt that way since before we met but didn’t want to say anything because i honestly didn’t think he did or would ever feel that way about me. (and i didn’t wanna come off weird and only have him see me as a fan and then not wanna be my friend lol) but i told him that i’m so unbelievably happy that he does and i’m so in love with him, too. he gave me the cutest smile. then i pulled he face closer to mine and we kissed 🥰 after we did, he smiled and said “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that” and i told him, me too. so then he kissed me again and things progressed pretty quickly to where we ended up making out for a bit 😅 and then after that, he asked me if he could be my boyfriend 🥺 and i said i would absolutely love that 💙 and he gave me a little kiss on the nose and then i snuggled up into his side and we watched something and then i woke up 😅 - sorry i didn’t mean to ramble so much and go into so much detail lol. it just really stuck in my mind and wanted to share as much as i remembered 😅 i know it’s pretty cheesy lol.

[sickjoonie]

Irreplaceable and it's nothing + Namjoon for the fic thing. Please and thank you!

(i had another request for “it’s nothing” as well!)

-

namjoon really shouldn’t have tried to cope with his anxiety by eating his weight in chocolate. especially since he had to finish producing a song and submit it to the company by next morning. it wouldn’t have been as bad, if the song was more than halfway done. as it was, however, namjoon was dangerously behind and only had half of the song done.

they had been so busy with travelling to america for promotions and doing interviews that namjoon neither had the time to work on the song nor the mental capacity to do it. being both the leader and only one who understood english meant that all of his energy went into navigating the group through interviews and performances and even their downtime.

so by the time they returned, the song had only been halfway finished and the deadline left an anxiety inducing pressure on namjoon.

he had coped with this anxiety by taking his supply of chocolate and setting it out next to his computer, as motivation. for a while, it seemed to work; namjoon made good progress on the song and his supply of chocolates slowly dwindled. 

it wasn’t until his hand reached for another piece of chocolate, only to find none, that he realized his mistake. he tried to ignore the sickly sweet feeling at the back of his throat and once again threw himself back into his work.

but oh was he paying the price for all those chocolates now.

currently, he had his head laying on his desk, chair scooted back as he curled around his stomach, and a fist pressed up against said organ. he would work on the song for a couple of minutes before having to take a break to soothe his stomach just enough so that he wasn’t puking all over his equipment.

he grimaced as a cramp seized his stomach, feeling he was being stabbed. the chocolate has been so good and yet now it was betraying him.

he sucked in a deep breath, then pulled himself up to look at the computer screen. his break was over; he had work to be done. it was 1am, he only had a couple of hours left.

he let himself slip into a routine that consisted of rotating between frantically working on the song to curling over his stomach while moaning and hiccuping. his mind felt a little hazy both from the lack of sleep and persistent nausea, but he continued on.

it was two hours later when he finished the song, stomach still in knots, a testament to just how much he had overdone it. as soon as he sent the song off to the other producers, the computer making a small ding to confirm it, he was making a beeline for his trash can.

the nausea had taken a turn for the worst in the last thirty minutes. he had fought hard against it, swallowing back the burning bile and letting out sickly burps. it was a miracle he had survived as long as he did.

he let his mouth hang open over the trash can, his mouth watering in anticipation. something in his stomach shifted and a harsh cramp squeezed it. he choked on a gag, then finally, after hours of his stomach rolling, puked.

the chocolate didn’t taste very good the second time around, he learned.

he closed his eyes, knowing better than to look at his own vomit and ruin chocolate forever. though, it was already pretty ruined, with how much havoc it had wrecked on his stomach.

his stomach did stop its lurching eventually and he stayed crouched over the trash can, panting and exhausted. he pressed an arm against his stomach; despite how much he expelled, it was still cramping steadily. 

“holy shit, how much chocolate did you eat?

his vomiting had been so loud and painful that he hadn’t heard the door to his studio click open. so when he heard hoseok speak, he jumped and nearly knocked the trash can over. he stared blankly at hoseok; his bandmate was wearing his pajamas, meaning he had most likely come from their dorm to find him. 

namjoon hiccuped. “ah, hi hoseok ah. i didn’t see you come in.”

hoseok rolled his eyes, moving across the room to grab namjoon his water bottle. “you never learn from overindulging in sweets, do you namjoon?” he sighed, handing namjoon the water. “as adorable as it is that you have a sweet tooth, i hate seeing you sick.”

namjoon accepted the water, pouting a little. he drank a few sips to try to wash out the taste. “sorry, hobi ah. got distracted by work and ended up stress eating.”

hoseok frowned, his mouth going into a little triangle shape. “you’ve worked so much this past week.” he patted namjoon’s hair. “i think you need some time to relax, baby.”

namjoon leaned into hoseok’s hand, becoming more pliant. while hoseok was the same age as him, he occasionally did treat namjoon like he was younger. not that namjoon had any complaints.

hoseok helped namjoon up to his feet. he reached out and patted namjoon’s stomach, cooing when he felt how bloated it was. “you are strictly forbidden from working for the next 48 hours. let’s get you home so me and the hyungs can take care of you, okay?”

namjoon nodded, feeling his stomach give an unhappy turn. it didn’t feel like he was going to puke thankfully, at least not yet. he would very much like for his hyungs (and hoseok) to take care of him.

so he let hoseok take his hand and lead him out of his studio, namjoon subtly trying to lean up against hoseok. they made it down to the lobby and sat down on a bench to wait on a van, where namjoon proceeded to lay on hoseok’s shoulder, still squeezing his hand. his free hand held his belly. he could feel it gurgling ominously.

he whimpered when he felt a cramp in his lower belly, squeezing hoseok’s hand a little. hoseok hushed him gently, bringing up their hands to kiss namjoon’s. “do you feel pukey?”

namjoon shook his head, pressing his hand against his lower stomach. “‘m gonna need the bathroom when we get home.”

hoseok pressed another kiss to namjoon’s hand, comforting namjoon. “i’ll cuddle you once you’re done, then.”

namjoon gave hoseok a soft smile, appreciative his hyung. he was still in for a long night of suffering and inevitably being told off by seokjin.

hopefully this time, namjoon learned from his mistake.

[sapphos-darlings]

I’m proud of my mother. She was born in the 50s into a conservative family, if you can consider them conservative in rural Finland in the 50s - the father brought in the food, the mother stayed home tending to a flood of kids never having the energy for all of them, leaving them often on their own to look after each other, hoping they’d all make it through the day but in the end, no one had the time to make sure. They were hunters and farmers, traditionally Christian as far as I can tell. The community they lived in had a lesbian couple that everyone knew about but nobody talked about; it was taboo and shameful. Being gay wasn’t right. My mum’s straight, too, so this was easy for her to internalize.

She became a mother late at at 37. I’m her only child. First, I was gnc. She wanted a daughter she could dress up pretty and pamper. I wanted nothing to do with dresses and my favourite way to pass the time was to climb trees and roll around in mud. My mum gave up on the dresses very fast. I played with wooden swords and bows that my dad and my neighbours built me. The neighbours told my parents I’d grow up to be a vegan feminist activist, in words that made sense for the time. Everyone knew I was strange.

My dad was mostly drunk and away from home, so my mum raised me much on her own. She never implied in any manner that what I was doing was wrong or improper or that I wasn’t good as I was. I had sleepovers with girls and boys all the way until early teenage, at which point we separated naturally. She once told me she was afraid what’d happen when I’d first have “boy troubles”. I never had boy troubles. She wasn’t prepared for the troubles I was going to have, though.

At 10 years old, we went to a concert together. I fell in love with the singer of the band and spent my next two years fawning over him. I think at this stage, everything was going as intended. I don’t think she even remembers this phase now, because last year, she asked me in all honesty if I’m a lesbian.

I’m not a lesbian, but you might not know that.

I was scared that I was when I turned 12 and found myself attracted to Avril Lavigne’s promo picture in a CD store. I got over my freakout in about ten minutes, but my attraction to women (not Lavigne) survived. At 14, I was involved in a weird relationship with a girl my age. I don’t remember much of it other than that I was very bad at playing relationship, and I feel guilty she left her girlfriend for that mess. At 15, I fell in love for the first time with a girl I’d love for the next decade, desperately, painfully. Between there somewhere, maybe at 13, my mum found me crying in a closet because my best friend had a crush on me and I was scared to tell her I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her. My mum stumbled over the word “boy” when she asked what “he” wanted of me. I know she knew then, but we never voiced it.

I met a crossdressing gay guy around that time. He went by the name Cherry and wore cybergoth outfits and makeup, and he turned 18 a couple weeks after I met him. My mum let me go to his birthday party and stay until 1am, and later go visit him in the capital on my own over multiple occasions, once personally meeting him and giving him a hug. He was wearing platform boots and hair extensions and probably fishnets on some part of his body. She loved him because he was like a big brother to me, and never questioned the way he presented himself or worried about him being a bad influence to me, because he made me happy and I felt safe and excited to be with him. I also had a major crush on him which I think everyone was well aware of, but it was a safe crush, because I was 13 and he was 18 and like a big brother to me, and I was a girl and he was gay and everyone knew that, too.

When I was 16 and we went on a vacation in Europe, I spent all of my time finding the means to talk to the girl I loved at all times. I racked up an insane phone bill and couldn’t care less about the Pride parade in Rome, because I would rather lock myself up in an overheated Internet shack that was no wider than our bathroom at home to talk to her for hours online. Then she met another girl and chose her to be her girlfriend, only to tell me years later she hadn’t chosen me because she was too afraid of losing me, which made no sense to me. I felt like my world had ended. I didn’t stop crying for weeks and I signed myself up in a hospital because I was afraid I’d kill myself over the heartbreak.

I think it was around that time I started going to Pride, too, but regularly only when I met my next girlfriend around 18. I was always scared to go to Pride, not because I was afraid of showing I was LGBT but because I was scared of being the target of an attack like a bombing or a shooting. One year, we were the target of a gas attack, but I didn’t even know that, because I was marching at a different section of the parade and only heard about it later in the news. I don’t know if my mum was aware we were dating then with this girl, but I think she did. I think at this stage she’d already settled on me being a lesbian, it was just unspoken between us. She’d once asked me, because I wrote fanfiction most of my teenage and I always showed it off to her because I was proud of what I was writing and it never occurred to me it might have been inappropriate or offensive that I was writing about gay relationships. She vehemently denied this for years, because according to her, she’d never spoken the word “lesbian” in her life, much less referring to me.

She did speak it, last year, though. I do believe she spoke it when I was a child, too, when she asked me if I was a lesbian. I know she did. I said I wasn’t, because I’m not, but I understand that the evidence stacked up against me. Obsession with same-sex media, Pride parades, girlfriends, girl crushes, heartbreaks over girls, never once a mention of a real boyfriend or any material boy crush aside from those I had to a few chosen celebrities, fictional characters and idols, all of whom were unattainable and never as strong and overwhelming as the love I so obviously felt for women - I don’t blame her for thinking I was a lesbian. I’m not sure if “bisexual” entered her vocabulary at any time before last year.

At 19, I came out to her as transgender. She said she didn’t understand but that she’d try her best and support me no matter what as long as I would be happy, and what I was doing was making me happier, as I was obviously unhappy and struggled with difficult mental health issues for most of my life. She accompanied me to my meetings at the gender clinic and spoke with my doctors and nurses to understand. She tried her best to remember my pronouns when speaking in English, and even though she failed and has always failed, she did learn to call me by my new name without a fault. She’s never regarded me as a man of any sort and that’s alright, because I had and have her support no matter what. So here we were for the main part of my 20s - she thought I was a lesbian and knew I’m transsexual.

It’s only these past two years we’ve really talked about any of this. That’s the size of the taboo she was raised with in terms of the LGBT matters. She might have asked me once if I was a lesbian before, but even to herself, she’s denied ever voicing that word. Last year, or a bit over, when I was 27 or 28, she finally did consciously voice the question over the phone: am I a lesbian?

No. But that was the first time I ever vocally came out as a bisexual. I’ve never hidden it, but I’ve never come out either. I’ve always just either “been” or left it unspoken. All my friends have always known, and all of the Internet has always known, and I’ve never kept it a secret, but within the family, it’s been unspoken.

She was alright with that. We talked about my transition a little bit, if I was happy with it, if it made me happier, or if I regretted it. (It made me happier, I’m happy with it. She was relieved to hear that.) Other than that, we’ve never spoken of it, but all of this is why I respect my mum more than I probably have ever respected anybody else.

I’m everything she was taught to think of shameful and bad her whole life, everything she struggled to accept as a part of “normal”, as something natural. I’m exclusively female-oriented bisexual, gender non-conforming, and a diagnosed and transitioned transsexual. She couldn’t possibly have a child deeper in the LGBT than I am. And not once in my life did she make me feel like I wasn’t good as I am, like I wasn’t allowed to be myself and express who I am and look up to the people I did. She always made sure I’d be safe to her best ability, but her concern never restricted my freedom to be myself and explore my identity, and her concern was never made to be my problem, or something I had to take responsibility of.

And this year, because the pandemic had moved the Pride parade by a few months and because that meant that my best friend (that girl I dated when I was 18) probably couldn’t join me because of her career situation, I asked mum if she’d come with me to Pride, because I don’t want to go alone. I fully expected this to be the last thing she couldn’t do. Earlier, she’d asked me to come to a gay movie with her because she really wanted to see it but couldn’t make herself go alone. That had been a throughoutly difficult experience for her - yes, she’d enjoyed the movie, but it had made her feel very conflicted because of the values she’d been raised with and the prejudices she was trying to fight. A Pride parade just seemed way beyond there - I just needed to ask because yes, I did need someone to go with, but also because I wanted to show her that I wanted to take her, and that she’s welcome to be a part of my life even in the ways that we’ve always been afraid to discuss. I’m happy to share my identity with her openly, because she’s been accepting and understanding of it and never given me a reason to feel like I can’t be honest with her. It was more symbolic than anything. And like I expected, she did hesitate, but what I didn’t expect was that she’d tell me “yes”.

I’ve never been more proud of her than at that moment. I know how much it means to her to say “yes, I will come with you to Pride”. She had to reassure herself that for her, it doesn’t mean anything else than that she’s proud of me, and supports who I am and my right and the right of everyone like me to be who we are. I reassured her about it too - Pride is full of straight allies. Pride is full of parents, partners and children, even dogs and horses of people who are LGBT. She’s not making a statement about herself by being there. She doesn’t need to come out as gay to join Pride with me. She can just be there for me.

But it means the world to me that she agreed.

I’ve quite literally never been the girl she wanted me to be, and my friends were never the friends she imagined her child having when she was planning for me. But she’s never, in any manner, implied or let me think that she didn’t love me. She’s never made me feel like I wasn’t right for being who I am. She never let her doubts or questions or concerns or prejudices keep me from living my life and pursuing happiness as it came to me. Not once.

And for that, I’m proud of her. I couldn’t have a better mother.

[dididrawsblog]

Mr Perfect // slow burn

Part II

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Summary: Steve Harrington was the coolest guy at school and now he’s working with you at the rental store. Very complicated story about complicated feelings.

Warning: Language

A/N: That chapter is about what happened in the past. The reason why don’t you like Steve so much. It’s longer than the previous one and with Steve from s1.

“It was Lorie...she was my best friend” You were lying on your bed at 11pm talking with Robin on the phone. It was a warm summer night and the window in your room was open.

“Wait. Lorie? Lorie the slut?” Lorie and her face blew up in your mind. “Sorry! ...I didn’t mean to” Of course she didn’t. But it was the first thought in people’s mind when they heard her name.

“You know she was different before they’d started dating” And the wave of memories hit you. All those moments got alive in your head and you just let them take over your mind.

It was three years ago and you were both inexperienced and naive… well, Lorie was. You remember that day when she ran into you in the morning with a big smile on her face, holding a small piece of paper. She leaned on the wall next to you showing it so you can see what was written there. ‘Party at 10 pm. I`ll be waiting for you. Steve H’

“So? What do you think?” That smile actually was a bit annoying and they way she looked at you like it was Christmas. She did shine.

“What do I think?” You kept looking for your books in the school locker. You didn`t want to go to the party cause it wasn`t really your thing.

“STEVE HARRINGTON asked me to come to his party, you silly girl! I think she likes me. He`s been smiling at me for the whole week during our English classes” Her dreaming face were more annoying.

“I don`t think that’s a good idea” You closed your locker and headed to your classroom.

“Why? THE KING STEVE asked me out. Can you even hear me?”

“I don`t think he is a good guy, Lorie. Honestly, why do they call him The King?” You stopped and looked into her eye, praying for some common sense.

“Please~ We`ve been best friend since the middle school. I`ve never let you down and it is just for one night, Y/N. Do me a favor, pleeeeease?” She grabbed your hand and squeezed it with puppy eyes.

“Just for one night” It wasn`t just for one night. That party cost you two weeks and your friendship.

“Fine” You sighed. “Just for tonight I`ll be a good friend” She hugged you and kissed your cheek. You couldn`t stand Lorie but sometimes she was adorable. She was a good friend who protected and cherished you. But she also was very selfish.

That night you first time saw Steve Harrington so close. The house was full with people and alcohol and Lorie looked stunning. She always knew how to look desired. You were standing in the living room near the table with punch. Lorie had already drunk two cups cause she was freaking nervous. Steve came to her and kissed her hand. And you suddenly got it, he was cool. In his black jacket and dark glasses with his perfect hair, he was cool and not just cool. He was the coolest guy at school that’s why they called him The King. He said something sweet to Lorie and she blushed. He didn`t see you. You was invisible for him, not as shiny as Lorie was. Steve pulled her into the dancing crowd and she apologetically smiled to you. Of course, she left you. That’s why she came here. For a half an hour you were eating snacks and drinking punch and waiting for your friend. You asked some guy where the bathroom is but he offered to show you Paradise instead. Jesus. You just wanted to pee. You were walking past the stairs and you saw Laurie with Steve coming up.

“Lorie!” She turned around. She was a little bit drunk so was Steve. There was annoyance in her face when she saw you.

“What?”

“We need to talk. NOW” She rolled her eyes and whispered something to Steve who went upstairs. “What are you doing, Lorie?”

“I`m having fun, Y/N” You took her hand and got close to her. “Lorie, you don`t want to do it. Not drunk in his parents room”

“You don`t know a shit. Just leave me here. Go home. Don`t ruin my night” She pulled you away. Her lips were red because of kissing and her hair was a mess. “C`mon. Go, Y/N. You are too boring for this party”

“I`m here because of you, remember?” You were trying to stay calm but it was impossible.

“Well, I don`t need you now” You looked in her cold eyes one more time and left.

They’d been dating for a whole week. The week full of night calls and tears and sex. Everybody at school knew Lorie was “spending time” with Steve Harrington but not like his girlfriend. More like a friend with benefits but not a friend...

On Monday you found Lorie crying in a bathroom at school. Apparently, Lorie though their relationship were special but Steve didn`t. He alway asked her to leave his house next morning after they did it cause his parents shouldn’t know about her. When he stopped answering her calls she decided to visit him. He was hanging out with Tommy H. and Carol near the pool. He asked her to leave but Lorie refused and he said he don`t want to see her anymore. She was broken. You pulled her up from the bathroom floor, washed her face and told her she should tell him everything she thinks about him. So, after classes she caught him up near the school with his friends and stopped him. You tried to tell her that was a bad idea and they need more private place but she was adamant.

“Steve, we need to talk!” Lorie`s throat was dry because of tears and she could hardly speak.

“We have nothing to talk about, Lorie. I told you we can`t be together. It’s over” He was leaning on the hood of the car, not even noticing you near Lorie.

“ Why did you leave me? What did I do wrong?” She was almost crying.

“He left you because you are slut” said Tommy H. and looked at her with a wry smile. Carol giggled and Steve just closed his eyes in annoyance. You were numb. You just couldn`t move. You saw her standing there in front of him with a shocked face.

“What!?”

“Aw, don`t play an innocent girl here. You were the one who almost ate his face on the party. And then you grabbed his hand and asked him to show you his bed room” said Carol looking at Lorie with shame and disgust. “Ah, Steve, you are the king! More, Steve, more! And then you came every time he asked you to do it”

“You did what?” You were shocked and you let this question slip.

“You told them!” Lorie screamed and threw his bag at him. Tears started covering her face and you saw fire in her eyes. And it woke up her pride. She wiped her face with a sleeve and looked into his eyes. “You know what, fuck you, Harrington”

“You already did” He finally spoke. “And it wasn`t that pleasant. You need to improve your technique”

She showed him her middle finger and left. You grabbed her bag from the ground and followed her. You almost reached her as Lorie turned round with an angry face.

“Lorie… why did you do that?” You spoke quietly.

“Because I wanted to” She stepped closer to you looking in the eyes. “ And stop giving me that look”

“What look?”

“Like I did something wrong”

“But you-“

“No. Stop it! You are always right, yeah? You always right! Don`t you dare judge me, Y/S/N” She pointed her index finger at you.

“ You were the one who told me Jane Bree is a whore because she slept with Rick after their third date! You even wrote it on her desk! You slept with Steve before any date. And then you did it every time he asked you. Like you are his toy. And know he threw you away” You knew it was the end. You knew she did bad things and she just used you but you were catching on your memories. You just couldn’t remember when everything started getting worse and worse. When did she become jealous and selfish and needy? She slapped you. Hard.

“Don`t. You. Dare. Judge. Me.” She cried again. You threw her bag on the ground and walked past her. You cried too. You felt like you were her toy.

On Tuesday everybody knew she slept with Tommy H. to get back at Steve. It was also the biggest quarrel between Tommy and Carol but after that their relationship had become unbreakable. Then she hung out with Steve`s childhood friend Kyle. And then she became Lorie the slut.

“That’s why I don’t wanna have anything on common with Steve Harrington” It was 1am by the time you’d finished your story.

“Holy shit” That was the only thing Robin told you that night but it was enough. She listened to you without interrupting and with interest. It was enough. You felt relief.

Thanks everybody for support :3

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[codetrainwreck]

Cs’ World, Geass fragments, and the ending of Re;surrection

Long post is long.

Reviewing Ragnarok

First off, let’s refresh what has happened in the anime with Cs’ World. During R2, CC says that “Cs’ World is also called the Collective Unconscious, some call it God”. This definition has seemingly changed during the movie, but honestly the fact it changed isn’t really important, it just makes this line weird in retrospect.

The Collective Unconscious is made up of all of the people who ever lived, hence why Charles and Marianne keep telling Lelouch and Suzaku, “you can talk to the dead!” etc, and also explains why Charles has a line where he says, “past present and future, there has only ever been one person”. Charles’s plan in R2 was “kill God” by adding humans to God (like... they literally show chains of humans being shoved into Jupiter). For this plan, Charles required at least one Code, but two Codes to make it 100% successful. Lelouch called his plan stagnation and “a closed world”. Lelouch tries to prevent his dad from “killing God” by requesting a tomorrow and allowing time to continue ticking.

The result of asking for a tomorrow

During the movie, in the scene in the truck, CC’s dialogue reveals that when Lelouch asked for a tomorrow, he killed God. To phrase it backwards, Lelouch did the same thing his dad was trying to do, but in a different way. In her convo wKallen, CC also attributes Lelouch’s wish for a tomorrow as to why she can no longer enter Cs’ World. However, when CC finally enters Cs’ World, this assumption turns out to be incorrect and she corrects herself in her own dialogue and identifies the real reason why she couldn’t Cs’ World freely.

When CC enters Cs’ World for the first time during the prison sequence, she remarks on how everyone’s individual consciousness (this is honestly probably not how you’re supposed to use this word, but it’s 1am) is scattered around, but they aren’t moving anywhere or doing anything. So, when Lelouch killed God, he did the opposite of what his dad was trying to do. Charles wanted to kill God by adding humans to it. Lelouch killed God by requesting a future, and this caused the consciousnesses of the dead people in the collective to split apart. Since they were a collective before, this would make them individuals now, hence CC’s dialogue.

In the convo w/Kallen in the truck, CC attributes Lelouch’s wish and him killing God as to why she can’t enter Cs’ World freely anymore. However, when she actually gets to Cs’ World, she finds a spooky purple orb with the shadows of Marianne and Charles, and deduces that it’s actually Charles who was preventing her. In her dialogue, she likens him to a wall; a divide between the “meta” world and the “real” world.

Don’t leave your heart behind

While floating through Cs’ World, CC begs Charles, “don’t leave your heart behind”. Funimation I believe translated it as like, “stop this already”? For the context she says it in, there’s nothing wrong with this translation. I am noting this because this line comes up again later but Funimation translated it completely different when it comes up here.

Spooky clouds

During CC and Lelouch’s time in Cs’ World, there are spooky black-orange-gray clusters of stuff that come out and try to swallow Lelouch and separate him from CC. The pamphlet for the movie describes this sequence as, “Lelouch being surrounded by human consciousnesses in Cs’ World”. Putting 1+2 together, Charles’s influence on Cs’ World must give him the ability to move the consciousness around.

In Lelouch’s words, Charles’s wish was to stagnate time, so I think it makes sense that now that Charles has influence on the consciousnesses scattered in Cs’ World, he would choose to make them freeze in place (remember how CC saw them when she enters and she comments about consciousnesses not moving around? Lelouch’s wish was for a tomorrow, and I sincerely don’t believe people’s souls would be frozen in place in a post-Lelouch’s wish world). And, upon finding Lelouch, the source of all of this bullshit for Charles, Charles’s influence would also cause the souls to try and swallow Lelouch.

It all links back to what CC says - Charles just can’t let Lelouch go.

The shadows in Cs’ World

After CC flies through Cs’ World, she reaches her hand out to Lelouch, but seemingly can’t reach him. Suddenly, a sequence with shadows that take human shape also throw out their hands. Recall that Cs’ World was previously occupied by the Collective Unconscious, and the Collective Unconscious was made up of the souls of everyone who ever lived and died.

The shadows we see here are easily identified as multiple dead characters from Code Geass. The first one is Euphy, the second is Rolo. Others seen are executed members of the Kyoto group, OG BKs Inoue and Yoshida, Urabe and Senba from the 4 Holy Swords, and a last figure that doesn’t seem as recognizable (maybe it’s Clovis....... he waited for you, Lelouch). These figures all reach their hands out, as if they were symbolically reaching towards or helping CC reach Lelouch. The last shadow we see is Charles’s, and he doesn’t throw his hand out of course as he’s still trying to block CC.

As an aside: Was Lelouch accidentally breaking down the Collective Unconscious into individual souls a bad thing? Knowing that this work was made in Japan (a collectivist society), I would honestly say... no, I don’t think so. It actually appears to have been a good thing. Like, honestly, the movie itself enforces the idea that this is positive, both through the way the shadows representing individuals save Lelouch here, as well as another sequence later in the ending.

Shamna’s plot with Cs’ World

Shamna’s plot in the movie is that has kidnapped Nunnally. She says during her dialogue that Lelouch fucked up Cs’ World and that Nunnally has the same wavelengths of Charles.

What does this all mean? Well, recall that in the TV show, Charles needed 2 Codes to successfully do the thing and make the Ragnarok Connection happen. Or rather, there was a chance of success with 1 Code, but it was 100% success with 2 Codes. Shamna has one code (a lot of English viewers seemingly missed this, but Shamna has a Code on her lower belly...), and then she collects Nunnally because “she has the same wavelengths as Charles”.

Seemingly, while this is not literally said in the movie, I think the implication is that Shamna, like Charles, would require 2 Codes to do what she wants to do to Cs’ World, but she doesn’t have a second Code, so she’s trying to use Nunnally as a make-shift Code.

I think the movie also supports the idea of Nunnally as a “make-shift second Code” during the ending.

Shamna’s chat with CC in Cs’ World

When CC speaks with Shamna, CC tells her, “don’t leave your heart behind”. (Funimation translated this as something about regrets, which honestly is better than heart IMO. Regrets is a more contextual word, both in the instance w/Shamna and Charles.) Anyway, as we saw before, Charles warped Cs’ World and caused the souls there to freeze. So this line of CC’s to Shamna reads like CC is telling her not to fuck up Cs’ World like how Charles did.

And, as we see later, we’re led to believe that Shamna took this advice from CC.

The rainbow hands that save Lelouch and Nunnally

While CC talks to Shamna, Lelouch goes off on his own and finds Nunnally. As they stare at the gray ball in the distance, Lelouch calls it the hearts of many (smth like regrets of many in Funi tl).

After finding her, the orange-gray Charles stuff come out of nowhere and attacks him again. I think this just serves as a reminder that, again, these things are here to mess w/Lelouch because of Charles’s influence on Cs’ World. Like... Shamna used Nunnally to get in to Cs’ World and the Charles influence kept Nunnally there as a way to bait in Lelouch. Blah blah.

At this point, Lelouch and Nunnally are being swallowed, Lelouch calls his Geass his own sin (I believe the context for this is that Nunnally wanted to use FLEIJAs to “wipe away Lelouch’s sins”; perhaps her thoughts and guilt also warped Cs’ World?), and rainbow hands form around them. Nunnally has a realization of some kind that causes her to start crying, and Lelouch remarks, “Ah, so they’ve saved me again?”

“Again” as in, recall when the individual shadows reached out for Lelouch alongside CC. They were the shadows of Euphy, Rolo, and many others. Lelouch is saying that those people have all saved him once more. How do we know for sure? I mean, I think “Euphy is here now” gives context to Nunnally’s facial expressions during this part. Also Taniguchi was being coy about this at Sakuracon and said, “no comment about who helped Lelouch but hey Euphy miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be part of it” as a person with a Euphy tattoo specifically asked about Euphy’s involvement.

So, erm, rainbows beat dad...?

What’s more is that this rainbow sequence seemingly dispels all of Charles from Cs’ World. But... what exactly does it mean now that the power of rainbows exercised Charles from Cs’ World?

CC said before that she can’t get into Cs’ World. She later identified this was because of Charles. If Charles’s bullshit is gone now, does this mean she can freely enter Cs’ World again? And since Lelouch has a Code, does that mean he can freely enter Cs’ World? And, furthermore, if people can freely enter Cs’ World, does that mean that immortality is back? After all, CC attributed her access to Cs’ World as being tied to her immortality in the conversation with Kallen.

I assume these things will be addressed in whatever Code Geass thing is next...? Or not.

How does one do things to Cs’ World anyway?

Why did the rainbows appear anyway? As we see in the movie, Shamna attempted to use Nunnally as a make-shift Code. In this sequence, we have Lelouch (one Code) + Nunnally (make-shift Code), and they seemingly affect Cs’ World once they are united together. Perhaps that’s why? Or is it more related to Lelouch’s dialogue about his sins?

In the anime, they don’t really define why Lelouch’s wish is accepted by Cs’ World either. For example, since he has there with 2 Code users (Charles + CC) and you need 2 Codes to do stuff, perhaps that’s why Cs’ World took the request for a tomorrow. I’ve always been a fan of the idea that Cs’ World willingly took the request because it’s a pile of dead people who probably died w/regrets, w/o being able to accomplish things, etc. But really, Code Geass really doesn’t touch on its metaphysical realm much.

Fragments of Geass

As CC chats with Shamna, Shamna expresses her desire to stay in Cs’ World and see Shalio when he dies. Shalio dies pretty shortly after, and immediately after his death, we see a sequence in Cs’ World (you know it’s Cs’ World from the setting) where Shamna screams after his death then turns into a black-gray orb.

Corresponding with Shamna’s body being blown up in the temple (recall Lelouch set an explosion), her orb in Cs’ World explodes as well, causing things to rain over the sky. When CC and Lelouch talk at the end, CC says she is going to collect the fragments of Geass left behind by Shamna. Based on the appearance, I think the “Geass fragment shower” is supposed to symbolic of tears, and represents Shamna mourning Shalio.

Recall that CC had also told Shamna, “don’t leave your heart behind” aka “don’t fuck up Cs’ World like Charles did”. This is seemingly the result of that - she wanted to stay and await Shalio, Shalio died, and then rather than staying behind in Cs’ World and warping it as Charles did, she heeded CC’s words, turned into an orb and then unleashed a bunch of Geass fragments in the physical world and is about to create a bunch of new Geass users which LL and CC will deal with for the next 10 years.

I... guess...? If there are this many Geass users, it’ll be like a Pokedex of Geass users or JoJo’s but a new Geass user of the week.

Why can she cry tears of Geass? Idk, but one would assume it’s related to Cs’ World. Perhaps it’s related to Lelouch saying that his Geass is his own sin. Perhaps the # of fragments / # of meta-tears is related to the # of people Shamna has sacrificed, or the # of times Shalio has died and she went back 6 hours to save him.

The post-credits scene

In the post-credits scene, LL seems to be offering someone a Geass contract, but with 2 differences from the speech CC gave him. He states that the power of kings MAY isolate you, and that if you aren’t prepared then your Geass will be taken from you.

Seemingly, this scene is set up so that LL and CC are looking down at a pile of corpses in a ditch. There are fans who think that LL and CC killed these people. However, as alch observed, there is actually a girl attempting to climb out of the pit. With this context in mind, LL is offering her a contract, mirroring the sequence where he too was on the verge of death and CC offered him one.

[ongfreestyle]

Coffee and College

A Jaehyun college coffee bullet au that ZERO people asked for

So anyway, you're in your second year of college and you're in the groove of things (kinda) and all is well

You're on your way to your 9am French I class on the first day and you feel your phone vibrating

It's your bf and you smile thinking "aaww it's our 3yr anniversary n he's calling already to say good morning"

More like... goodbye

Yep. 8:45am he calls you to dump you in the driest most uncool way

"listen. I just ... I know this is random, but....I don't wanna do this anymore."

"oh. Uh. What? Sorry I didn't hear you?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore I want to break up with you. I'm sorry."

"oh. Ok. Fine. Sure. Umm...if you wanna talk about it later. Then...yeah..I have French class now bye."

End of call and start of class

Yep you're third row from the back and you plan to pay attention to the syllabus talk and following lesson but

You're definitely tearing up

Like literally WHO DOES THAT?? Just dumps you at 8am no explanation??

So anyways there are teardrops on your notes now and ink isn't tear proof so...rip

Anyways thirty minutes in and your head in kinda just down and you're kinda just crying quietly

And then this kid slides into the seat next to you

He's v late

And v cute even through the tears

And he's smiling really big even though the teacher just scolded him

He sets his coffee down and looks at you wiping snot and tears away and he hands you a napkin from his bag

You take it and mutter a "thanks"

And a moment later he slides his coffee to you too

"I didn't drink it yet"

"it's an espresso, extra caffeine"

"I made it myself"

And he's back to taking notes

And you're still kinda pouting, but it's been 45+ mins so you try to at least write down the homework assignment

And you decide to sip the stupid espresso it's actually pretty good

The next day you find yourself at the school cafeteria and guess who it is??

Espresso boy!!

And it turns out that he's even cuter in uniform!

You go to order some food and he greets you with a big smile

"feeling better today?"

"kinda"

"rough day yesterday, huh?"

"yeah. Can I have a breakfast burrito?"

"no coffee?"

"no, but thanks for the free coffee yesterday. It helped. I owe you one"

"no you don't, it's on the house. And so the one I'm about to make you next. It's today's special!"

Who are you to deny another free coffee? So you take his offer and a few minutes later you're at your table eating your breakfast and doing your French homework

And the special coffee is really good

Then one of your friends comes by and is giving you a weird look

"are you drinking the nasty coffee from the cafeteria??"

"yep. Its actually really good"

And your friend's like ??? "It's usually bitter and gross tho ?? Like 10 times outta 10"

And you shrug and get back to work and your friend grabs some food and starts doing their work too

The day goes on and finally you get some time to yourself to think about yesterday

Your ex hasn't called or texted. Nothing. And it just hits you like wow. I'm. Single.

Cool.

Except not cool because you got no closure or explanation and ouch.

So you hate it but just like yesterday, you're crying again. Just. Uglier crying.

And your roommate comes back and is like "awww sweetie, fuck him"

And she says if you wipe your face she'll take you out for ice cream

So fuck the snot and tears, you want some damn ice cream

And out you go!!

Free ice cream you two stop at a park on campus and there's a basket game going on

And your roommate is like SKSSKDJS "LOOK IT'S JOHNNY SKSJDJ"

English??

"that means holy shit it's the hottest tallest nicest guy in school and he's playing basketball look at his ARMS BITCH"

So guess who's watching a pickup game of bball while eating ice cream?

You two!

Oh and guess who else is playing and is red and sweaty and had a nice jump shot?

Coffee boy.

Yup and you might not be interested in the Score, but dammit the view was nice

The game ends and Johnny is the first to come over to the side lines n greet your roommate

She's batting her eyelashes and telling him he did amazing even tho they lost

And he's smiling and chugging water as he goes on talking and coffee boy and a few of his friends are on the sidelines now looking at you

Coffee Boy is the first to say hi and all you can do is say hi back

And thank him for the coffee again

He shrugs, "no problem. Coffee fixes almost everything in college"

Almost everything. And there's an awkward silence

"see you around." He says and he walks away

Like that you never find out his name and life moves on

French class is going well and you sit in the front now and coffee boy is always late and sits in the back

You really don't do anything except exchange glances

Then midterms are coming up and you are a bit panicked bc u definitely neglected French studies

So like any good college student you cram like hell

In the library at midnight you're trying to learn vocabulary, conjugations, grammar points

You look insane by 1am bit you can't stop then you hear someone coming I'm the library

It's (literally if you can guess by now) coffee boy

And he's got 4 coffee cups in a holder with him and a huge backpack

He spots you and waves

"mind if I sit with you?"

"mind if I claim two of the coffees?"

"there all yours" and he sits next to you and slides the holder to you just like when you first met

"I made them myself"

"so you make these awesome brews?"

"yeah the schools coffee recipe is shitty."

"well maybe you should major in business and open a coffee shop. They're really good."

"maybe I will"

And you two study quietly and you peek over to see him going over French vocab

"let's quiz each other?"

"sure"

And it's 2am and you guys realize you're both fukced

Like. No vocab is sticking and the coffee had you two literally SHAKING

And by 3am you guys are just cracking up

"I never learned your name coffee boy"

"Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun."

"well. Good luck with the test tomorrow because I. Give. Up."

And you get up to leave and he offers to walk you home and you accept for safety reasons

"I'm glad to see you so happy. You're pretty like that."

"I'm an ugly crier, huh"

"kinda."

"okay, not the gentleman answer, but I admire your honesty"

"thanks. I hope you have a good night"

Yeah the walk back was not long at all. Too bad because you really were enjoying your time

But 9am French !!!

Midterms are over after a week and it's back to the daily grind

But days are way better when you have French now bc Jaehyun sits next to you (when he's on time and the seats open) and you guys joke around alot during speaking practice

He's brings you a new coffee everyday and asks you how it tastes and what he should add or take away

And you kinda hang out at the cafeteria now so you can talk to him while he's working

Ooppsss you have developed a small™ crush on Jaehyun and it's not going away anytime soon

You even open up to him about why you crying the day you met (tho u vowed to NVR speak of it again)

Yeah now the crush is nvr dying :)))

Bc your friends notice that you always go watch him play b-ball even tho it's not a REAL game

And he always has a coffee for you

And you two are always studying French

But like...you guys are making questionable grades...so...what's up??

NOTHING

French I finals are coming and you and Jaehyun are at your usual spot in the library, except this time YOU bought HIM coffee

"what brand ?"

"gross school brand that you didn't make, but is LOADED with caffeine"

"gross. Hand me one"

"cheers!"

And it's study time

But he's not focused

Like he never is and neither are you, but it's really off now

"is it that bad?"

"the coffee? Yeah. And my French grade? It's even worse. I won't make French 2."

And you're like WTF WTF NO FRENCH 2 WITH JAEHYUN YOUR CRUSH WHO LITERALLY GOT YOU THRU THIS SEMESTER ????

"Jaehyun. We are going to fix your grade with this final. I SWEAR."

You're like REAL STUDY MODE: ON

And he has this small smile on his face.

Sly....

"what?"

"you WANT me in your French 2 class don't you?"

"uuhhh-duhh free coffee to keep me up during le snooze fest"

"you know it's not free. It comes outta my pay check"

"okay, then I owe it to you to get you to pass this class and get to French 2"

"I guess."

Yeah. You're DRILLING info into ur heads ,,,, but Jaehyun is like ____ blank.

So you kinda snap

"yo do u wanna fail??? At least TRY!"

"I can't focus. I'm confused about something."

"past tense conjugations?"

"you."

Pause.

"I can't tell if you're over your ex. You took it hard and I'm trying to wait, but..."

???????????

"my ex? My ex is my ex...I'm over that"

"you never really brought it up much. I wouldn't know."

"Past tense."

"and also. The coffee."

"your coffee is good! I'm serious, Jaehyun!"

"yeah, but do like me...? Or my coffee?"

"both?"

Jaehyun is not making this easy for you okay

"I mean, if I didn't bring you coffee, would you still hang with me? Teach me French n stuff?"

"of course."

"so you...........like......me?"

HELL YES, but you settle for a simple yep

Then he just looks at you seriously

"you LIKE me LIKE me..like....LIKE LIKE?"

"uuhh...if I understood all of the likes right, then....yeah. I do like you."

OH AND THAT DOES IT

He is so reeeeeedddd

Like this boy GONE

You. His crush. Likes. Him. Wtf

Yeah he cannot quit grinning

And when you move on from the topic he can't focus on a single word you're saying

Finals day comes and you feel okay about your score and Jaehyun said he wants to leave it in the past

And you two go hang out at the cafeteria

And he's looking at you across the table

Randomly he just smiles at you

"I..wanna be your boyfriend...."

bc y'all nvr because s/o's officially soooo

Your heart rate

Lemme draw it

/\/\/\/\_______💀

Wow

He said it so cutely

Damn that's crazy bc you would love if he was your bf

And when you say that!!

Reference to drawing

After becoming official you two are like the cutest couple ever

And you go to French 2 and he's back in French 1

He got a 58 on the final :/

But OH WELL you're his tutor now

And you guys actually study

And he doesn't feel like he has to bribe you with coffee to make you like him

So with some hard work you both kick your caffeine addictions

And you guys spend the days making stupid jokes and playing basketball together

Cramming for French while high on 4 coffees each

(old habits die hard)

And you two tease each other so much

It's a miracle you get any work done really

Jaehyun passes his French 1 class with an A+ and he literally runs to your dorm to tell you

You crash into each other

He holds you to steady you

And hes like "babe I passed"

"that's great!"

"it's all thanks to you I could kiss you, but I have coffee breath and-"

"that's nothing new"

Okay and cue the totally cheesy kiss

Where Jaehyun's like "you're right, but our first kiss should be special"

Valentine Boy is a ROMANTIC okay

But it doesn't matter

You can't resist leaning in

And he lets out a fake groan like he hasn't been dying to kiss you since he first saw u snotting all over your notes

Yep he liked you then.

And the lean in was so slow, but when your lips met it was worth it

And the coffee taste.... wasn't so bad anyway

[yeet-nhl]

there’s a reason {a.kempe}

A/N: finally, something new eh? this is longer than i originally intended but i had an idea so i just rolled with it where ever it took me. also i used google translate for the swedish so if it doesn’t translate correctly i apologize :/

requested: yes / no

word count: 2.4k

title song: there’s a reason by wet

warnings: none

“Remind me again why you decided to drag me out this early, and why you have me bringing clothes?” you sighed as you walked up to meet Adrian outside your apartment building.

“We’re doing some bonding, come on Alex and Marty are already in the car.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Just trust me, you’re gonna have fun.” He said, grabbing your hand and guiding you toward Alex’s car. Alex was in the passenger seat and Alec in the drivers. It was a weird friend group in all honesty, but they were the ones that Adrian had introduced you to when you first moved to LA.

You climbed in the back seat with Adrian as the other two said a quick hello to you. The time for conversation was short lived as Alec hit play on his phone and you turned onto the road, taking you who knows where. It would sound sketchy if it weren’t for the fact that off the ice all three of the men you were with were huge softies. In all honesty you trusted them more than most other people in the world.

A song you didn’t know continued to play over the speakers in the car as you watched out the window, trying to get an idea for what the others had planned. You were heading away from the city and going towards more urban areas. Adrian didn’t seem to be paying attention as he obnoxiously sang with Alex. You watched him with a small smile as he nodded his head in time with the song, his hair flopping all over the place. He noticed you watching and directed his singing towards you, taking your hands and moving them along to the beat. You rolled your eyes and started dancing along with him as well.

As the song ended Adrian dropped your hands and grabbed Alec’s phone to queue some more songs. From what you saw they would be mostly in swedish and you would only understand a little, as would Alex and Alec. The first notes of the next song started and Adrian leaned back into the seat and just seemed to be enjoying the music that only made sense to him in the moment. The LA sun was beating through the window and onto him, small strands of hair covering parts of his face as he mouthed the words to whatever was playing.

Oh no.

You quickly turned away, facing the window again. You couldn’t be thinking this way now. He was one of your best friends, you couldn’t be catching feelings right? It was perfectly understandable to think he was good looking, since after all he was. You’ve had this suspicion for a while that you might have wanted something more but you had just kept pushing it off. It wasn’t something that could ever happen, you didn’t want to risk ruining your closest friendship. Deciding this time would be no different, you ignored your gut and willed the thought away.

Being completely lost in your thoughts for a moment, you totally missed the conversation that had been happening.

“Kan du vara mer uppenbar?” Alec said from the front seat with an eye roll. You hadn’t even began to process that somehow Alec knew swedish before Adrian shot back a reply.

“Vem sa att jag skulle bli subtil! hon vet när tiden är rätt.” The true swede said as he grabbed the phone once more, switching back to english music.

“Did I miss something here? Alec since when can you speak swedish.” You questioned, sitting up a little straighter.

“Dunno, picked some up from the other guys over time I guess. Shouldn’t you be asking where we’re going instead?” It was a clear effort to change the topic but you really did want to know where you were headed.

“Fine, where are we going?” You had been driving awhile and honestly had no clue where you were.

“I’m glad you asked, we’re going camping!”

“Alec are you serious? This has to have been Alex’s idea…”

“Hey!” Alex butted in quickly.

“I’m serious. We have a cabin by the lake so we figured it would be fun to go hang out there for a bit. Some of the other guys and their girlfriends are coming tomorrow too, so you won’t just be stuck with us all weekend.” Alec said, disregarding Alex’s comment.

“Alright that does sound kinda fun, how much longer till we’re there?”

“25 minutes or so, not too much longer.” He said, flipping through some more music.

You turned your attention back to Adrian, who had a slight smirk on his face as he watched you try and figure out how you agreed to spend the weekend with these fools. “You could have at least told me that was the plan” you said with a smack on his arm, “I would have brought cuter clothes for the occasion.”

He laughed as you fell back into the seat once more, leaning against him and decided on scrolling through your phone for the remainder of the drive. It wasn’t an unusual behavior for you two to be touchy, so when he wrapped his arm around you and rested his head on yours it didn’t phase you like you expected. You forced your earlier thoughts to the back of your mind once more, knowing it was just what you wished it could be.

Alex turned slightly, catching a glimpse of the two of you and giving you a look as if he knew something you didn’t. You gave him a confused glare as he shrugged and turned back to his conversation with Alec.

A short time later, the car stopped and you sat up to see where you were. There was a large cabin with a patio and a view of a nearby lake, surrounded by trees. It looked like beyond the patio there was a pool and a balcony coming off of the top floor. The sight of it alone made any doubts you had of this weekend go away as you took in the scenery around you. It was beautiful and you shared a smile with Adrian as he took your hand to exit the car.

“Alec this is stunning! How’d you find this place?”

“I didn’t, he did.” Alex said as he pointed toward Adrian, who was standing next to you with an even goofier smile than he had be giving before. He gave a small shrug as he grabbed some of the bags they had brought and headed towards the front door. Going to grab your own, you realized he already had it with him and you followed him up to the door.

The inside of the cabin was equally as amazing. There was a large kitchen and sitting area with a door leading out to the patio, a large window facing the lake, and a second floor that included all the bedrooms and another smaller sitting area in the center. You wandered up to the second floor, trying to decide on the room that you would pick for the night. Adrian trailed behind you with your bag.

“Which one do you want? I’ll let you have first pick before the other two bitch about it.” Adrian said as he held up your stuff.

The room by the back with cute nature decorations caught your eye, “that one.”

He went in and set your stuff down and walked back out, stopping to stand in front of you. Something was up, you didn’t realize it until now but something was definitely up with him. Before you had the chance to ask anything, Alex came in to ask Adrian to help with the rest of the stuff. They had been more prepared for this little weekend trip than you realized, which was surprising since they usually never had a plan.

Something was definitely up.

Adrian went back downstairs as you leaned over the railing of the second floor to watch the boys move everything out of the trunk of the car and into the cabin. You decided to go and see what else the cabin had to offer and noticed a fireplace downstairs, a grill on the patio, and a gaming counsel set up by the TV that the others most definitely had set up themselves. They were done moving everything in by now so you joined them in the kitchen, taking a seat next to Adrian who was sitting at the island in the middle. From what you could tell, they were talking about the plans for the night and who else would be coming the following day.

Eventually you all decided to make some food first and then go from there. Alex went out to the patio to use the grill and Alec was attempting to make something else at the kitchen counter. You wanted to go for a walk since the surrounding area was so gorgeous, but you didn’t want to go alone.

“Adrian, wanna come with me?” You questioned as he looked up from his phone and gave a quick nod and walking over to you. The two of of you left to go towards the nearest hiking trail that you had spotted when you first arrived. Looping your arm through Adrian’s, you two walked side by side, making idle conversation as you walked among the trees.

You could still tell something was off, but you didn’t want to address it just yet. He had been saying very little besides the short answers to whatever you had been saying. But as you headed back the shift in him become even more evident.

Having walked the trail and back, you stood outside the cabin once more. The thoughts once again crept back into your mind as you looked at Adrian in the fading sunlight, eyes meeting for only a second before you walked back in to meet Alex and Alec for dinner.

Surprisingly, Alex was an amazing cook. He had grilled some fancy fish-based dish you had never heard of and it was delicious. You all shared stories of past camping experiences, including Alec’s dramatic retelling of an encounter with a bear that he was surely making up, but the whole time you kept catching Adrian sneaking glances at you. Somehow as you cleaned up the dishes your mind kept wandering back to that, and you knew you had to address it.

After a couple more hours of discussion and watching the boys play video games, you all decided to sleep at a timely 1am. Each of you headed to your respective rooms and as you turned out the small light on your night stand and were about to put your headphones in, you heard a small knock at the door.

Adrian walked in, shutting the door behind him quietly as to not disturb the others and he walked over to sit at the edge of your bed. He had changed into some sweatpants and a tight fitting grey shirt, doing nothing but increase how attractive you found him.

“Hi.” He spoke softly, looking a bit uncomfortable.

“Hey? What’s so predominantly on your mind at 2am that you had to come share?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Your heart jumped in your chest as he spoke. Surely there was no way he could tell you were hiding feelings for him, at least you thought that was the case. “Alright, what is it?”

He took a deep breath and finally met your eyes, “Look, this might damage our friendship if you don’t feel the same way but I can’t help but think we could be something more. I don’t know what it is about you, but I think you’re beautiful in every way. I want to know just how deep that beauty goes and you’re the only one who can make me smile the way I do, make me laugh the way you make me laugh, the only one who can look so ridiculously kissable while staring out a window in a car filled with dårar the way that you do.”

You laughed a bit at the last part as you began to process his words. It sank in that it wasn’t as crazy as you previously thought that this beautiful swede could be yours and that you really could have something. You took in his features once more as a smile found it’s way to your face. “God, I thought I was crazy for thinking we could ever be something. Of course I feel the same way Adrian.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he crawled up closer to you in the bed, pulling you into his arms. He felt like safety, nothing in the world could touch this moment as the man you had be hiding feelings for for a long while held you close to his chest and landed a gentle kiss on your head.

You tilted up to face him and ran your thumb over his bottom lip, so stupidly happy. He finally took the initiative and brought his lips to your own as his hand found your waist. He deepened the kiss as you shifted to move on top of him, one leg on either side of his torso. Sitting up now, he moved his hand along the side of your body and sat up so you two were eye level. You broke away only for a moment to just look at each other and admire what you now had.

“Look at the stars, my love.” He rolled you two over lazily to reach over your body and point out the window and into the night sky as your gaze followed his finger. “Every night that would go by without me telling you how much I cared for you I would look at the sky. That’s the reason I wanted to be here when I told you, so you could see them just as clear as I’ve gotten to. I hope you’ll get to see them with me a lot more now.”

You nearly cried as he spoke, his voice so raw and honest. Curling up into his chest a little more, you took a moment to truly take in the sight as well as your surroundings. The sounds of the woods could be heard in the distance, the stars being slightly reflected in the lakes clear water, and Adrian’s gentle breaths. You traced along the tattoos of the arm he had wrapped around you as he kissed your cheek.

“I think we’re gonna share many nights like this together Adrian, there’s nothing I would want more.”

[whimpering-hearts]

Coffee Break : aph crack drabble

Coffee Break

Featuring: Norway, Finland, England (ft. Denmark)

Words: 1,786

Genre: comedy, action,

A/N: I had a burst of inspiration to write this at 1am. I was inspired by how dependent on coffee I became during Finals week lol. I have no idea if this story makes sense, but it was great fun to write, and I hope that people find it enjoyable! :)

- 

It was painful for some people to accept it, but sometimes sacrifices must be made for the sake of the greater good. That went for health, too. As much as some people enjoyed the taste of cookie crumbs and bubbling soda on their tongues, in the end, all sugar caused was trouble. It was known for causing bad diseases, making people obese, and a series of other unhealthy habits.

Arthur Kirkland hadn’t minded when the World Counsel of Health had decided to ban it in large dose and raise the price so people would buy less. To be fair, Arthur’s food was awful and he had no taste for what sugar had to offer to some of the finest pastries and desserts in Europe. His food was borderline inedible.

So when the World Counsel of Health had decided that caffeine was harmful to the growth of the human body and assisted sleep deprivation and mood swings, Arthur hadn’t cared much. He’d always been more of a tea drinker – it was so much more proper than coffee, at least in his mind. Arthur was still caught up in his glory days. Caffeine was turned into a prescription drug that one could only buy if a doctor approved it beforehand, and even then it was ridiculously expensive. That also meant that coffee was internationally taken off the shelves.

But while Arthur hadn’t minded the take away of coffee and caffeine, other’s definitely did. People around him were in tears; some were sobbing in the streets for days, and a certain Nordic was so outraged that he nearly set his capital on fire. Wasn’t there a time Arthur had been surrounded by people crying in the past? Yes, when was that? Oh wait, it was his Alfred’s Revolution and he’d been the one who was crying with the rest of the British Army. Oh well, there’s a first time for everything.

It was a day like any spring day, however the English weather had decided to give Arthur a break and show some sun. Arthur felt like it had been ages since he’d last seen the sun without any clouds. It was the perfect day to get outside and walk around the city; he’d be a tourist in his own city for a day. The blond visited all the popular sights, Trafalgar Square, the London Eye, Buckingham Palace – these were all sights he’d seen countless times over the years. 

Finally, at some point in the afternoon, he decided to stop by a drugstore to pick up a much needed new comb and some first aid supplies. You just never knew what was going to happened these days. Kids were crazy and it seemed that their parents had failed to implement proper manners. However, Arthur wasn’t a first-rate caretaker either, as Alfred had declared independence as soon as he understood the concept, and then everyone followed in suit.

Arthur had just rounded a corner into another aisle when Arthur got a bad feeling in his stomach. No, not his stomach, his gut. After living centuries, Arthur had learned to trust his gut, and was telling him that something wasn’t right. 

As if to answer his question, suddenly there was the sound of warning gun shots shooting up into the roof and then shouting. Arthur threw himself to the ground, backed himself up against the shelf and peered out towards the door. There stood two men, completely dressed in back with ski masks on.

The man on the left fired his gun into the air, blasting holes int he ceiling. Some gasps came from around the store, and by this point everyone was on the floor, holding their heads and trying to stay as low as possible. Arthur watched carefully as the two men walked around, holding their guns, but to Arthur for some reason they didn’t seem that intimidating.

“This is a robbery!” one of the men shouted. “If everyone remains where they are then we won’t have to take you hostage.”

Some more gasps and cries came from the people in the store at the possibility of being taken hostage. A mother gripped her child closer.

“Wait, what,” one of the robbers whispered under his breath to the guy who had announced everything. “I said I wasn’t comfortable with that stuff,” he whispered.

“Tino, be quiet,” the other man bit back under his breath. “I’m just trying to scare them. We’re not hurting anyone. Now stop talking.”

The man – Tino – continued to point his gun at people as he and his partner made their way deeper into the store. As they moved, everyone huddled close to the floor and ducked their heads in fear of making eye contact with the madmen. The two men walked up to prescription desk, which a woman was crouched behind, shaking in fear of what might happen to her.

“You,” the more aggressive man pointed at her, and she trembled even more. “You’re going to load all this store’s caffeine tablets and coffee bags into this duffle bag–” the man threw a grey duffle bag onto the counter as he spoke, “– and don’t lie to me,” he continued with a cold tone as he pointed the gun. “Just because you don’t have them out on the shelves doesn’t mean you don’t have them. I know they’re in the back. You’d better bring all of them to me.”

The woman stuttered and started to speak, but she quickly figured that it was best not to argue with these men and just do what they wanted. Tears caused by worry ran down her face as she picked herself up, nodded and quickly began to load the packages of caffeine into the grey duffle bag. Arthur must have spotted at least over a hundred pills of caffeine get dumped into the bag. 

When the woman finished, she put her hands in the air and mumbled, “I need to go to the back room to get the coffee packets. I promise I won’t run.” Her visible trembles could be seen from half way across the store. She was terrified to death. Arthur actually pitied her, and he could relate. He wasn’t afraid anymore, as this wasn’t his first time in this type of situation. However, that didn’t mean he was going to play the role of the hero.

“Ja, you’re not going to run away,” the more dominant of the robbers stated confidently. He gestured to the man next to him with his hand. “Go with her and make sure she doesn’t run.”

Tino seemed uncertain. “Oh, okay. Wait, what are you going to do?” He questioned.

“Stay here and make sure nobody runs or calls the cops.”

Tino asked no more questions and disappeared into the back room with the woman. At least he seemed a bit more sympathetic than the other guy. Who were these people? Were they actually at a a pharmacy to steal coffee and caffeine? Why not the money? Who would be this desperate to steal caffeine and coffee? These two people apparently. So many questions that Arthur wasn’t sure which were the most important to answer. One thing he knew though was that he’d been in worse situations, but this was one of the…strangest. Of course, there had been weirder situations, given the things Arthur used to get into with Vladimir and Lukas. 

After a bit, Tino and the woman reappeared. Tino nodded to the man indicating that everything had been taken care of. The man, who’d remained in the room, took the bag from him and slung it over his shoulder. As he turned around, he scanned the room with his gun. More gasps and yelps of fear came from the crowd, but Arthur knew that these two weren’t going to shoot anyone. They probably didn’t even have the guts to shoot someone, but Arthur didn’t want to test that theory.

“Okay, we’re leaving now,” the unnamed man announced. “Nobody is allowed to call the police for three minutes. If I hear sirens before three minutes, I will blow this place up.”

Even more gasps came from the crowd. Arthur knew that it was probably a lie, but he wasn’t going to take his chances.

“That’s right. I’ve rigged this place with TNT, and if you don’t listen to me, I will blow all of you up,” he explained as he and his partner made their way to the entrance door. Over twenty pairs of eyes followed them as they did so, each counting down the seconds until they’d be safe, again.

“Okay, all of you’d better wait three minutes or I’ll know.”

With that both men ran out of the store, and everyone heaved a deep breath of relief.

The two men ran around to the back of the store, the sound of their breath and footsteps echoing in the dead air. They stopped behind the store, near some crates to catch their breath. The man carrying the bag dropped it on the ground and yanked off his ski mask, revealing a messy head of blond hair.

“What in the world was that, Lukas?” Tino asked as he tugged off his own mask. “You went off script.”

“I wanted my coffee,” Lukas responded, sounding as if there was nothing wrong with what he’d just done. “Where is Matthias? He’s suppose to be here.”

Tino just scoffed and took a few steps away from the Norwegian, who glanced over at him. Tino crossed his arms and gave another scoff of disbelief. “I can’t believe you just threatened to kill everyone in there. You terrified those innocent people half to death, you know?”

Lukas just shrugged his shoulders and continued looking around. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Where the heck was Matthias? How were they suppose to get away without their getaway driver?

At last, Lukas saw a car that resembled the one Matthias had dropped them off in pull up to the curb. Lukas had told him to wait there, not drive around the parking lot like a lost puppy. Lukas signaled for Tino to pick up the bag and put it in back with him; Lukas would take the front seat.

As Lukas opened the front door, he was greeted by Matthias’ smiling face. He looked so happy despite being a getaway driver.

“Your Uber driver is here,” Mathias greeted with a wide smile. Oh, he thought he was so funny, didn’t he. Tino quickly threw the duffle bag in the car and both men piled in.

“Hey, want to hear something special?” Lukas asked Matthias as he threw his seatbelt on and the car began to take off.

“Yeah!”

“You’re an idiot.”