#me when its a character learning its ok to accept being loved

[angelwishess]

What if I told u guys that throughout the main storyline Kyra genuinely believed that no one genuinely loved her .

Like, she was so used to the love she received from others being conditional that her being loved and accepted despite showing all her flaws was never even possibility to her .

So she goes around with the expectation of not making any real “bonds” , keeping everyone at arm’s length because she knows she has to go home one day ..

So its just one day, or maybe slowly she realizes. Wait, these people actually do like me and love me. Maybe I can love myself too then?

And before she knew it the people that she was so sure must’ve hated her, had managed to worm their way into her heart too. They all left an impact on her, just like she unknowingly did to them.

And the thought that maybe if all of these people could still accept her even after all of it, maybe she doesn’t have to pretend anymore after all

Thank u thats all *bows*

[swiiivet-screamathon]

(warning the keep reading section is really really long -- also bestie logged into the pc vers of tumbrlr just so i could ensure i got this written out how i wanted lmao)

ok i recognize that this might be a contentious subject given how my for you page has been, so just like mini warning i am very fragile & scared so pls dont be too mean if you disagree w me here lol

but i just have to write about it in a fashion that like, anyone can read about it? the thoughts are holding me in a chokehold and i need to be let free so let me vent lmao

ever since i rejoined crk w the intent of dissecting its story i wanna see when they fix the gaping plot hole w white lily lmao i've been writing out my complaints & strange things i've noticed, but one of the things i wrote there is about this subject:

I think out of our current known beasts, Shadow Milk has the highest possibility of being redeemed.

i'll immediately mention that I recognize my bias, i like the guy, i think he a goofy feller who chews the scenery really really hard and is in love w his own voice cause he has so much charm in his way of speakin, so ofc that automatically has to be taken account when i write this up, but i make this claim from the facts i know of with reasonable assumptions based off the facts, or at least i am trying to-- if it's any assurance I also like handsome jack & springtrap but think redemption is off the table for them, this is not coming from "i want every character i like to be a good guy" i do genuinely think it's possible. i also very much know "i just wanna" is not a valid argument lmao-- also quick mention I haven't finished chap 3 of oddessy or the dragon book, so if im missin info you have to wait for an addendum lol

anyways, i think the easiest point is to mention the contrast between him & the other beasts, as to prove why he's the most likely I have to adequately demonstrate why i think the others arent as likely, and I think it will also be decent framework to the rest of my conclusions

the one I think has absolute negative chance of being redeemed is Burning Spice, because no part of him to me seems like he ever wanted to or presently want to be his original virtue. I genuinely think if he never had the virtue thrust upon him he would've never accepted it at all ever; he was one of the first cookies so he got the title of Change, not because he was particularly specially suited for it.

Even in his very own description it mentions he was hailed as a hero because of how much he fought, he has for all of his life only wanted to fight, and used the virtue as an excuse and justification for his actions from the very beginning, one that he sort of believed in to some extent, otherwise he would've never kept any civilization alive ever at all, but he wouldn't have been so gungho about combat for all of his life if he truly believed in change, one who did represent it would recognize that the cycle of life and death does not have to be perpetuated by violence or combat, nor does all change have to involve the death of another.

He also has his past the most secretive out of the 3, the only hint i noticed of his past displayed in the present day was the single mural that we saw the flashback through, which the only way we saw the flashback at all was through the souljam, meaning only his other half had ever the chance of learning what he was like back in the day and no one else. The only way you would even know that the mural is about the past is the 6 arms (since the rest of it depicts cookies burning up into ashes, Sheese describes it as looking like a carnage after all) which is something im not sure if present day sbice can do, but it also doesn't strike me as something the citizens would assume means he was originally a virtue either, it'd probably just be read as sbice being far more powerful than they think of him as.

I don't think he should've ever gotten the title of a virtue, I don't think if given the choice he would've accepted the virtue, and I don't think he ever 100% believed in the virtue and from day 1 has used it as an excuse to satiate his desires.

Speaking of his other half, i dont think there's any universe where Gheese would ever forgive him either, if she won't even forgive one of her best friends for something she shouldn't blame her for I'll try to not get hung up on lily too much sry lmao, required her paradise to fall to war and even then barely got convinced and that he physically mutilated her? There's no way she would ever look past Sbice's actions in a million years, which isn't a great habit to have if you want to redeem someone. So yeah, I think Sbice is off the table as possible candidates lol

Mystic is a different story from Sbice, and will probably end up being the second most likely, including the unreleased beasts.

I've got no idea how they're gonna make sloth into a villain, girlie who does nothin and can't bring themselves to do anythin at all doesn't really feel like someone who can cause much of a fight, and depending on the definition of sloth you're workin w you can attribute it to resting, which is important to any fighter. But especially since their original virtue is happiness I'm presuming sloth is going to be presented very similarly to Gheese's paradise, one w lavish existence, having all your needs met, drowning in fulfilment and no one has to struggle, because surely that leads to bliss-- which still doesn't make me read them as a villain to me, which yk, makes redeeming pretty pointless?

And mr Silence is uh, idk..? What the deal is? I don't read solidarity as a virtue or silence as a sin, i think tumblr knows more than most the benefit of silence actually lmao-- takin the quickest of googles to recheck my definition of solidarity ig its supposed to be unity? so like, teamwork? ig mby the more plain wording of the guy is virtue of Communication and then beast of Not Communicating, which ig I can see how that could make the girlie a villain if its done deliberately, which makes redemption I think at least a little less likely than Mystic but more likely than Sbice.

Anyways!! Tangent ahoy! Point is, I think Mystic is second most likely to be redeemed lmao

Both Smilk & Mystic has the same thing in common that makes me think that they're the likeliest to be redeemed: the continued belief in a 'good', non-beastly trait.

(I should preface that I saw Mystic's story as it was released, but I am rechecking through the logs just to make sure I'm not bein a blatant dumbass, but I might've missed somethin by skimming through the logs)

With Mystic though she doesn't have a ton of connection with Volition in the present day but she does have some-- compared to the past which is the inverse where she mostly had a connection w it but did waver, but only by a very slight amount, one that comes along with every idea of 'freedom': the dissonance between free action vs humanity/personhood. But in this situation unlike a lot of other examples its become her achilles heel. Some people's free will is to assault, murder, harass, maim, damage, rob, whatever else, and hell her (probably) supposed friend Sbice was most likely one of those people.

So what was the answer to deal with the people who were violent and cruel? She took their volition away, she wouldn't give them their wish, her method of displaying her virtue, completely going against it.

(if you want to argue that she did not choose to not grant their wishes but was instead physically unable because of her cocooning then she would still be making a choice to not fulfill her virtue for all cookies which was her goal, but i dont think that's that case anyways)

It's difficult to encapsulate how I believe she viewed her own virtue, I think she fully believed in the virtue in principle, the idea of free will is a good thing after all! Taking away people's free will is a bad thing! But the moment it had to be played out in practice it all fell apart for her, showing that she never really truly believed in it as a real concept along w its consequences, only the image of it, what she wanted it to be, not what it truly was

No, what Mystic wants is Cacao's virtue, Resolution, one of the earliest mentions what I can tell is Haetae pitting his & her resolution against each other, but it's something brought up time and time again, and something she displays over and over. It's something I saw about when the chapter was being released, she's really bad at the whole Apathy thing,

(I am running against the 30 image mark constantly, I have to trim this down, sorry lol, keep on reading to understand my formatting, also sorry if some of the order is incorrect I'm not double checking the chronological events of all these quotes beyond my first check before I had to remove the screenshots, I'm just trusting me from a couple hrs ago lol)

??? (Mystic): It is my purpose to protect Cookies with my unwavering willpower and lead them to Paradise. I enclosed myself in a cocoon for the sake of my followers. And yet the world seen from inside the cocoon was far from pure... Cookies putting their own green first, pushing and shoving to have their own wish fulfilled before anyone else...Witnessing this, my heart grew forlorn and empty. At first I believed this emptiness would crumble my dough, but my enclosed cocoon remained strong and intact throughout the ages. Time comes and goes as Cookies are baked and crumble once again... But I learned how to overcome time itself simply by being me. Just as I was one step away from becoming the Leavened One... Someone spread a false rumor that my cocoon was full of treasures. Mystic Flour Cookie: The cocoon was cut open with one slash of a sword. "Fake immortal," they said, just like you. ... What do you think of my story? Does it not make you feel... like everything is futile? No matter how strong your resolve is, no matter how hard you try, this world will never change. *** Mystic Flour Cookie: My soul jam, come to me. Return to your rightful owner. *** Mystic Flour Cookie: At last, I am complete. I can feel the force of Volition within. Mystic Flour Cookie: Return to nothing, as if you never existed in the first place. This is the world of perfect apathy... that I've been dreaming of. ***

she has desires/dreams of her own, hell she wants her souljam more than anything, the whole reason she was in the cocoon was for her people, one of the first things she says after bein released from the cocoon is a story where she reiterates her purpose & explains the reason she didn't kill herself was because of her resolution. the story itself is dumb as well, she concludes that everything is futile because, checks notes, some guys enacted upon their own volition? that story should be one that enforces your virtue not prove it doesn't work

bestie goes from "resolution? who's she? a worthless cause?" to "that resolution is mine actually" in like 2 sentences, she's a perpetually ideologically conflicted char

She explains a little bit as well in the beginning, how she came to the conclusion, one that once again doesn't go against her own virtue: that when one desire is met, you don't just cease to exist and will probably want more things ever in your life, which is the premise of volition? If you didn't have free will you wouldn't have the option to gain new desires, you couldn't achieve things you want w/o having the capacity and freedom to want, this whole ordeal is a part of the print, yet she takes it as a reason to believe everything is meaningless and nothing will change, revealing she's really lost the plot because she is looking insanely zoomed out lmao

as established later on, she sees every action as meaningless in the wake of infinity, but that would be more equatable as antithetical to volition, as the ability to make choices requires a timeframe, but it's not antithetical to apathy, as you can very much see infinity in an apathetic light but that is a choice you're making, ironically. You can see infinite as wonderous, as scary, as aspirational, as most emotions really-- personally i see infinity as worth fighting for, i think immortality is pretty neat, and frankly i dont think thats very apathetic of me lol

idk if you realized this mystic, but you're not asking for apathy *and* the removal of volition in any these sentiments, youre actually asking for complacency, which doesn't have to be antithetical to apathy but they're very close siblings, as you can be happy with what you have, ie not apathetic, and not want anything more, ie complacent, but because mystic doesn't realize any of this they act like apathy will solve the problem of bad people doing bad things, so will use the power of resolution to ensure that her idea of apathy, total death and later the acquisition of the souljam, will be enacted, because that's totally very apathetic of her /lh

Her belief in apathy is as strong as an emo teens belief in edgyness and dark eyeshadow, and has as much of a backbone as one of them. She doesn't truly fully believe in her apathy at all, no matter whatever she says otherwise, but she believes she has completely lost her belief in volition, even though she hasn't given all said previously. Apathy sounds like the closest answer to her loss in belief but the two ideas really have incredibly little relevance to each other in any intrinsic matter, the opposite of volition isn't anywhere close to apathy, in fact they aren't even antithetical, you can choose by your own will to be apathetic and not care, you can choose to lock yourself away, you can choose to value other things over emotion & desire-- all she is is a girlie who's pissed because bad guys exist and will use their free will to do bad things, thats it, it has nothing to do with apathy, she simply chose to see the world in that manner.

The only thing she does that's anywhere close to doing anything antithetical to volition is taking the people's choice away in living w her pale ailment, the victims didnt exactly choose to keep on living after all, but that seems more like a happy accident rather than something she would actually align with if she was truly Apathy, if she was apathy she would've just stayed in the cocoon, it doesn't matter what everyone else does, it doesn't matter what they think, it doesn't matter what i do, it doesn't matter if i live- a truly apathetic character couldnt bring themselves to act upon the idea that everyone should be as apathetic as themselves, because you would care then! it's very similar to my description of sloth, Apathy can't be a villain, so the way she's a villain is by being one of the most passionate and resolute people around whilst waving the flag around that she's totally apathetic guys trust me bro

also two rq mentions, firstly when mystic shows the kingdom w/o cacao she shows choco's subjects being devoted & choco choosing not only to be a leader but a good one at that & grieving his late father, she is truly incapable of imagining a person who's not driven by volition & resolution to some capacity, or at the very least if you want argue this is fabricated to specifically undermine cacao's resolution and not a depiction of what she thinks will realistically occur, she doesn't think apathy on its own is a convincing enough argument leading her to need to launder her ideology, which really is a great example of her believing it's inherent validity huh?-- and secondly that chippy didn't turn to futility or apathy when he got wooshed heh

(one thing im genuinely unsure about is how real these dustings are, they seem like they were just imagined up by mystic, but i forgor lol)

i've yapped way too long about someone who isnt smilk in a post about smilk lmao, but finally tldr, i believe she is a character who never commited to anything yet put her whole pussy into acting like she did lmao, she believed she was the virtue of volition yet folded when it actually displayed the reality, deciding to instead hold onto her idealized false version of it up to this day, and she claims to believe that she has achieved enlightenment and subsequently apathy yet cannot stop being resolute for 2 whole seconds lmao-- i don't think mystic has the capacity to return to being the virtue of volition, since she doesn't believe in it in a practical sense anyways and it'd be really really hard for them to justify why you should let ppl do assault, but I do think she can become a sister believer of resolution, she can't stop displaying her resolution through her conviction to apathy after all, no matter how much she insists otherwise. i also wouldnt be surprised if they gave instead a synonym, virtue of conviction or somethin heh

Even cacao realizes her, pity, her anxiety, her childishness, everything impossible to be whilst trying to be apathetic, she never succeeded in what she preached and it's blatantly obvious that's the case

feck, speaking of him, i should also talk about cacao shouldnt I? i'll try to be quick-- Cacao is not a man of incapability to forgive like Gheese, as long as you're not a threat to what he's resolute about he's generally fine, especially since he has also shown capacity of recognizing when he himself is in the wrong, it would for sure take a while and a third party would definitively be needed since i'm not sure if we've ever seen him change his mind w/o bein heavily pushed to do so, but in no way do I think w enough evidence that she means no harm would he not accept Mystic if she were to try to redeem herself, but she would probably have to do a lot to prove that to him before he would forgive and he'd watch from afar to see her actions

ok, finally, lmao, the smilk part, i'll try to make it longer than the mystic part so i dont feel like ive wasted your time w her /j who am i kidding all of this is a waste of time im an amateur in analysis and writing and also autistic idk any shit lol im just hopin im coherent and not inherently nonsensical

you might've noticed that as I wrote about the two previous beasts I've laid down the groundwork for some requirements, for features I believe are necessary for the possibility of redemption for any of these characters, which to speak plainly here:

They should have either elements of their previous virtue present in the current day or have the capacity to embark on the path of a new virtue.

Their belief in their beastly aspect should not be absolute and either be depicted as wavering, contradictory or partially believed in.

They should have the capacity to believe they are wrong and thus capable of learning to any degree.

The other half of their soul jam should not permanently reject them.

And uh, if you don't see where I'm going with this, yeah I think that is completely and unabashedly true for Smilk ^^ time to try to adequately prove it lol

Rightio then, how should I tackle this... have them all go down in order ig? or eh, i'll swap the last two, i think that makes it easier to explain, very well then

Coming back to this a little later this absolutely barely works lmao, I'm mostly just making a ton of sub categories that hopefully I can string into somethin coherent lmao, I'll try to make it sensible lol

... It seems I have reached the image limit....

Ok problem solving time, all quotes displayed like this are all quotes directly found from the game, I don't have the energy to source which chapter it is from as I haven't for any of the screenshots lol, but know that unless stated otherwise they are all found within the quest logs menu thing, hopefully thats a good enough middle ground, cause I have 0 energy to figure out how to work around the image limit, if there is a workaround-- I'm gonna reduce the redundant repetition of names since this text block doesnt have the same restrictions as the game does and to differentiate large walls of separate quotes the segment will end with a *** ... + when one of those separating lines of elipses occurs means some dialogue in the same section was skipped, as it's either filler or irrelevant to the point im making, i am trying to not source even more than i have to yk lol

As a final reminder before entering the Smilk section, ofc he fuckin lies, he lies a lot lmao, but a big part of what I'm going to be saying is that he does not lie all the time. I will sometimes put things into sections you might disagree w their authenticity in regards of truthful sentiments, if he is clearly lying about a subject that the quote is being categorized within, then the category probably isn't about assuming absolute truth is coming out of his face hole, it probably matters to the grander themes and messaging of the entire story lol.

They should have either elements of their previous virtue present in the current day or have the capacity to embark on the path of a new virtue.

Light of Truth...?: I govern all Truth and Deceit of this world. What you mistake for the power of Truth is but a cute tiny droplet in my limitless ocean of Knowledge. So! What am I?! Need another hint? I thought you would've solved my little riddle by now! Pure Vanilla Cookie: The one who governs all Truth and Deceit... The Master of All Knowledge...? Light of Truth...?: RING DING DING! *** Silverbell Cookie: It's all a lie! There's no way that His Majesty protected the seal for such selfish reasons... Wizard Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie is the Cookie of Deceit. Of course he's full of lies! White Lily Cookie: He's not simply making up obvious lies, but weaving in threads of truth to his story... *** Fortune Teller Cookie: ... The lord of this tower is a Cookie all-knowing. Space and time intertwine in a myriad of reflections here. For in the realm of Knowledge, there is more than one truth. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Ahem, rise and shine! Daydreaming again? Do understand, I'm not mad. I'm simply disappointed. For you fail to see the truth. THIS is not an other-realm. ... It's time to accept the truth you like so much, Pure Vanilla Cookie. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: The Truth... How do I put it? It has a rather ugly countenance. Some Cookies prefer the safety of a sweet lie, afraid to stick their head outside, to the cold reality. Others? They find a twisted pleasure in weaving deceit for their own benefit. I know exactly what you're thinking. BEEN THERE, so to speak! My boy, the universe once was but an open book to me. Time and space unfurled before my eyes. Truthless Recluse: Perhaps, it's not an easy task for those who haven't witnessed the majesty of Truth and Knowledge. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Look at this fallen seeker of Truth. Your mind is like an open book!*** ??? (Sapph): The great Shadow Milk Cookie, Archmaster of all Knowledge and Deceit there is, played a genius stroke by leading our reckless foes right into his trap in the spire! ... And now, I invite you to sit back, relax, and forget about the boring notions of Truth and some such! Instead, join me tonight on our fantastical, magical journey...*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Ah, Cookies! They just love a good gossip, don't they? Something to gnaw on, truth or not. Black Sapphire Cookie: Excellently said, My Lord! A droplet of Truth in a concoction of Deceit works wonders! Soon, this world will kneel before you, Master Shadow Milk Cookie!*** Black Sapphire Cookie: Knowledge and Lies have existed since the very genesis of these lands. Master Shadow Milk Cookie's power is truly beyond all measure and comprehension! Shadow Milk Cookie: Lo and behold! I shall purge the darkness of the unknown and illuminate your future!

This point is the biggest reason why I thought he could ever have a redemption all along, because HE WON'T STOP TELLING US THIS IS THE CASE, he LOVES the truth, he LOVES knowledge, the only way to tell the truth is to know things, and the only way to lie is to also know things, a baby cannot lie, they don't know shit lol-- lying inherently and intrinsically is a distortion of knowledge automatically requiring his virtue to be a part of the equation, and smilk cannot shut up about how much he knows that to be true. He will preach the virtue of truth (this ones important dont gloss over it lol), he will choose to tell the truth, he will admit that he isn't lying, he will make his own truth. At no point did Sbice want abundance, and there was a single point where Mystic even admitted that she had a grain of volition within her and all other cases were accidental, but he will just. not. stop. mentioning. truth.

Pure Vanilla Cookie: I realized that my power and his... They are like two sides of the same Coin... What do I do? *** Light of Truth (Smilk): I am the Light of Truth. And the truth is... Your dreadful adversary and I. We might not be much different after all. One and the same... *** Pure Vanilla Cookie (Interspersed w Smilk): Truth and Deceit... Like two sides of the same Coin... Perhaps, those dreams are merely a trick to confuse me... A product of my power resonating to Shadow Milk Cookie's presence... ...!!! No, impossible!... Or is it?... Even so, he and I are different. Shadow Milk Cookie and I are different! And yet... that custodian's riddle... It was too easy... And this place... it feels oddly familiar. Ever since I gained my Soul Jam, I've come across so many questions without answer... I wonder... Did the Fount of Knowledge feel this too? All this doubt and confusion? Like I do? Pure Vanilla Cookie...?: All the roads I have ever taken... All the roads you have ever taken... They all lead to Him. Pure Vanilla Cookie: These are not my words! Once the Fount of Knowledge: You and I are bound... ... You will see.*** Pure Vanilla Cookie (Smilk): Knowledge, Deceit... Maybe they are not that different. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie...?: Oooh, looks like we have an expert in the audience! Shadow Milk Cookie: Very well, go ahead. Prove me wrong! *** Light of Truth...?: Why, you've said it yourself! We are like the two sides of the same coin! *** Shadow Milk Cookie: I know exactly what you're thinking. BEEN THERE, so to speak! My boy, the universe once was but an open book to me. Time and space unfurled before my eyes. You... You are merely following in my footsteps. ... Oh but it's inevitable. In the end, you will become... me! And it's gonna feel good!***

[That entire section lol ^] Gingerbrave: Phew! Pure Vnilla Cookie will play White! Shadow Milk Cookie: Huh? That doesn't seem right... Are you sure? Wizard Cookie: What?! That's cheating! Shadow Milk Cookie: Aren't we like two peas in a pod? I get that a lot! Heh. Sometimes it's hard to tell us apart! *** Truthless Recluse: I think I'm beginning to understand him. And... it fills me with fear and self-loathing.*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Oh, we are one and the same now! Meet the other Cookie of Deceit, Pure Vanilla Cookie!***

It is also repeatedly emphasized w PV & Smilk specifically, not any of the other beasts what i recall, that they are two sides of the same coin, unlike the other pairs who although are both representative of their respective virtue are incapable of existing with one another, these two are both aspects of knowledge and they need each others traits to exist as a whole, there can be apathy w/o resolution and there can be destruction w/o abundance, but there cannot be lies w/o truth and truth w/o lies is pretty antithetical to humanity, autonomy & consideration, which at least I think are decently important for ppl who, yk, give a shit at all, like pv lol. They both on separate instances deny it whenever it starts hitting just a smidge too close to home, but it's a theme that runs continuously throughout the entire story.

Shadow Milk Cookie: But then... a particularly wise Cookie, who had seen the truth of this world, appeared in his kingdom. Smart Cookie: And she said, "I've seen the truth of this world! It needs the strength of the Five Great Cookies to exist!" ***

I'm not sure if this is the best category to put it in, but since I mentioned the coin thing here I'll mention it here too, Smilk likes truth tellers and truth knowers, to at least some extent, someone who fervently believed otherwise I think would struggle to admit otherwise. I take that observation specifically off a video I saw a while ago, an acknowledgement of a strange behavior, that a conservative guy made a parody newshow of leftists based entirely on lying and struggled to stick to the bit, since the conservative doesnt believe trans ppl to be real and are just one gender pretending to be the other, you would then believe that the newshow that lies all the time would disagree and claim that they arent just pretending, but that would require for just a moment that the conservative guy has to say w his own words that trans ppl arent just pretending, and since the belief is so vehement that they are just pretending they cant for a second do what they believe to be lying and thus end up making the lying newsshow accidentally trans validation. Although I very much think Smilk to be physically capable of making such a lie, if he does indeed believe all these truthers to be foolish idiot morons, I don't think he could psychologically get himself to admit that.

And finally a little bit of a catchall of him generally displaying otherwise 'heroic' traits, stuff that could be compiled in that 'new' virtue, even if they are, ofc, twisted in some capacity, usually pretty heavily-- I'm well aware we're talkin about Smilk here dw this isnt me tellin me he's the good guy all along lmao

Shadow Milk Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie couldn't forgive the foolish king for how unjustly he treated the Five Great Cookies! And so... He decided to dispose of the foolish Kinch and save his comrades! ***

Saving your friends and disposing of the villain is usually done by protagonists of all media, so why be a hypocrite for him?

Shadow Milk Cookie: Those False Heroes were nothing more than petty thieves. They stole the powers of the Five Great Cookies, who had been sealed away so unjustly, and used these powers at (a?) whim! ***

Ik this is gonna be shockin, but stealing is usually bad lol and being locked away unjustly is a decently common trope for heroes, even Gheese got that experience later on lol

crk on a couple occasions has believed the opposite idea, that lying is having your eyes closed and the truth vice versa, but for the characters of Smilk & PV it's the opposite, the man with his eyes closed at all times is the man who speaks the truth, and the one who has a heavy open eye motif is the liar, so any instance of either doing the opposite is worth considering. A different post made by someone i do not have the capacity to go check on, made me really really think about what that is, and although I don't think my answer is airtight, I think it is because of trust & the choice. In the same vain that cats will close their eyes around those they trust, if you believe something to be true then closing your eyes to not see any possible distortions of the truth is you choosing to trust that what you know is real. That's why way way back when mr was Healer Cookie, he didn't know the truth, and had to be shown it, because a blind fold isnt having your eyes closed voluntarily, his eyes were closed so he could not get new information until he took them off, but the truth wasn't real as the (metaphorical) ones who put them on him had an agenda. With deceit, which already is heavily associated as a choice anyways, is you choosing to take in new information about the world, all information, truth or not, your senses also being inherently biased, and you're not trusting at all. Again, I'm not fully confident about this interpretation, but I do at the very least feel like it has something to do with volition (teehee).

And the final point on this case, I'll get into the sage skin a little later, I think it needs the context of all the points for me to say the words in a coherent manner, but when you tap on him with his skin he will close both his eyes, indicating he is a truthful figure, and default Smilk will wink at you, one eye closed, the other open, he is both truth and deceit, he is to this day the virtue of knowledge

Their belief in their beastly aspect should not be absolute and either be depicted as wavering, contradictory or only partially believed in.

This section has sort of been made obsolete because of previous one, that Smilk cannot just shut his face about how much truth means to him, but I'll try to collect all the instances he just outright tells the truth here, w what I believe to be no caveats, manipulation or distortions. And I only mean sections that he could obviously lie, ofc if he's just expositing plainly or sentences w no comparable false equivalence then I'm not adding those, this isn't a dump to add all of his dialogue in one spot lmao. "..." is hard to make a lie out of lol

Shadow Milk Cookie: You may be celebrating your little victory for now... But heed my words! We have finally risen. Do not think that you can hold us back. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: ...Shadow Milk Cookie's lies... always have a grain of truth in them. His last words sounded like a warning to us... Perhaps, they were truthful after all. ***

I'll move this section down from the previous category though, since this is the biggest instance of him displaying his antithesis to his beastly nature. The thing that is absolutely most interesting in terms of the idea that Smilk is just fully a believer of the truth specifically, is the chess game. The chess game is the peak point of why this has held me on such a chokehold. I'll summarize the game here for ya, once you read later into this whole text you'll know why I choose to not rely as heavily on quotes.

Besides Brave noticing that it's a big chess board, it is then established that "Each move is like a stimulating conversation, unfolding one step at a time!", which boy don't you know it lmao. The special rules of this version of chess is listed out, the most important one for this section is:

You surely have to realize how big of a deal this is? right? That the beast of deceit, who supposedly should fully have given up on knowledge, be a full believer of lies and intrinsically oppose the Light, chose on his own to play a game with no lies, exclusively with the truth involved, for the sake of gaining knowledge? He's just returning to his Fount days here, the only difference is that he's a bit more of a maniac but that doesn't inherently devalue his connection to his past and mirrored virtues, he's fully and completely demonstrating that not only would he be capable of reform in theory, but that he doesn't even need reform in his belief, he still believes in knowledge and he still believes in the truth, why the hell else would he employ tactics he wouldn't believe in? The entire crux of his own fall is his lack of conviction and self confidence on his own end, and this shows clearer than any scene that he fully still believes in his old virtue, and we know the reason he fell all those days ago into the beast is because Cookies rather choose the sweet, savory taste of Deceit over the harsh reality of the Truth, not because he himself stopped believing in it, abso-fuckin-lutely does it make sense that he never ever shuts up about Truth, because he hasn't given up on it, it's integral to his current believed ideology after all.

Cough, anyways, there's more to the chess scene lol.

He then does his first act of cheating ever, all of his previous acts of deceit technically hasn't broken any rules, implicitly or explicitly, and then possibly argues that he sees Pv as the same as him.

Once the missing chess pieces are acknowledged and the gang gets turned into them, curiously Smilk Points out that they volunteered and wasn't forced by Smilk, which also curiously was a point mentioned earlier this chapter where Pv on his own accord went to the spire. He's starting to point just straight up facts, another word for truth, he's doing it for a point he wants to make later, but it's interesting that the first time he does it is when he was the peak of his villainy, ie peak deceit, so therefore had no reason to speak the truth yet did it anyways and the second time when he's the most Fount he'll ever be this entire chapter.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Let's get this game going! You gotta tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth! Or your pieces won't move!

He begins with what he believes will be an easy question for Pv, what is a lie? Answered as "... The antipode of truth." Which we can't inherently take as a fact, not in our current state at least, we've got no way of knowing if this is some sort of cosmic entity controlling the board or if Smilk is determining what is the truth, but I think it's easier to assume that it's his belief, especially since it'd be inline with his other conclusions. The second question is however a lot more interesting, what is the truth? which is answered as "The only right thing that must be protected." and that is right, and as we just moments prior established, odds are the answers are what Smilk believes, Smilk agrees with this answer, he also believes that truth is the only right thing and must be protected. This is extraordinarily close to being an outright admission that he's not even a beast, he has no stakes in deceit, he doesn't believe in deceit, it's not right and it shouldn't be protected, he's most likely firmly in team Truth, but because he is so caught up in, ironically, his own game, he doesn't even realize that he's done such a blunder. If you think that interpretation takes it too far, then at the very least what factually did happen is that he was laughing, finding this exercise fun and kept playing, what he didn't do is disagree, or call the board wrong, or say that the board is lying. The next question is probably the closest we get to confirmation that he is controlling what is and isn't truth here, as Pv answers the question he believes to have understood which causes the piece to move but then stop in its tracks to indicate a wrong answer, if he had misunderstood the question and Smilk wasn't in charge I don't think the piece would've jammed in place like that, but Smilk's intent is to prod at Pv, so making the process as painful as possible is a part of that goal.

He is absolutely ecstatic about truly catchin Pv in a lie, he's been pretty quiet or hostile up until this point, and he seemed unsatisfied with the river situation, but here, he truly, legitimately and fully caught him in a lie, for the first time. And then proceeds to be a bad winner about it lmao, but importantly is in love with the possibiltiy that Pv might not know the difference between right and wrong, which, once again, ironically, is happening to him this entire match lol

Shadow Milk Cookie: Ah, what a thrilling game! Looks like I have the upper hand! He he he he he!

Mans is lost in the sauce lol. When he notices the souljam reating he pivots into talking about White Lily, which really seems to affect Pv poorly to Smilk's excitement, and then once again goes at it from the angle that he's not at fault, that this is actually all Pv's fault. Where he then just says the funniest thing huh.

Shadow Milk Cookie: In the end, it all comes down to a very simply conclusion. If the so-called "truth" were the only right thing, it would've granted you the power to overcome all the odds you've been up against! Whose fault is it?

Don't tell Smilk which category this is in, or the words he said like 3 paragraphs ago lmao, he'd be fuming right about now xddd

As Pv admits that he agrees, that he is weak and is all at fault, Smilk bursts into laughter and starts taunting Pv, absolutely adoring watching him fall further and further. But then does another really funny thing.

Shadow Milk Cookie: If I was able to bring you down so easily... That makes me your Truth, doesn't it?! Yours and everyone else's! ... And so, the ultimate Deceit becomes the ultimate Truth! Now that's right up my alley!

Smilk go 5 seconds in this chess match not being your own antithesis challenge level impossible lmao.

He then repeats an idea he said in one of the first chapters, something that because I've organized this poorly that I don't think y'all know about yet, that Smilk wants to control Pv, and that pv and just relax and follow his command. Smilk with his final question pulls out his testing of the waters, what he truly believes in, going full project blast canon lmao-- Since he believes his endeavour of knowledge was futile, that his sharing of the truth was landed on deaf ears, perhaps his own vision was incorrect all along, was his entire purpose, his life? A lie? And that filled him w supposedly enough regret to get him to beastify. So now he believes he has put Pv through the same feelings, the same disappointment, the same futility, the same disproving, that he must also regret his whole life now. But he reacts unexpectedly, he starts laughing, to the confusion of Smilk, where Pv starts to just cheat..... Which Smilk LOVES, he LOVES it SO much, the projection being completely and utterly dodged doesn't matter at all, because Pv is becoming more like him!! He is clearly embracing deceit!!! He is far more than overjoyed at this moment, the loudest and most excited his own entourage has ever seen. He admits that he thought Pv still had more resolution, but this here showing proved otherwise and commends him for the act, adoring that Pv is fulfilling his potential and using his own tricks.

I really, really hope that I've at least a little bit conveyed how much this entire game revealed Smilk's full hand with this game, seemingly entirely beneath his very own nose: he displayed he still believes in truth and knowledge, that he doesnt believe in deceit, that he views himself as the ultimate truth, that he's torn down his own defences around Pv a fuckton, and I'm not sure if he event knowingly told a single lie during the entire match, just prodded the guy and faked a single coin. If anything at all killed his chances to win as a villain it was the chess game, it undermined his power internally and externally a huge amount, and he never recovers it again.

The other half of their soul jam should not permanently reject them.

(ie, the pv analysis also included in here lol)

Pvs change into acceptance is definitively most obvious at the very end, and I'll ofc show my work even if everyone knows it, especially if you follow the smilk tag and are the likeliest to read this lol-- but it did not begin at the end, nor is it exclusive to the latest chapter, there has been drips of it earlier.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Out of these false heroes, which ones is only half a Cookie? ... Gingerbrave: None of them! Shadow Milk Cookie: WRONG!!! ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The right answer is... All of them. Shadow Milk Cookie: ..... RING DING DING!!! Did you hear that?! A correct response from our sharp audience! My my, I'll let you advance to the next round!*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Out of these three Cookies... Who is the biggest liar? ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The biggest liar is... me, Pure Vanilla Cookie. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: ... It's correct, isn't it? Shadow Milk Cookie: Unbelievable! You got it right again! RING DING DING!!! That Pure Vanilla Cookie knows his thing! I'm impressed, I must say!... Indeed, what is pure, unquestionable truth if not deceit...?

PV is always the one to answer all of Smilk's og quiz questions correctly (the ones he's allowed to answer at least lol, and the one that he wasn't allowed to answer was answered "wrong"), which not only establishes that they are to some capacity on the same wavelength from the very start not just because smilk is in the souljam lol so it isn't a result of his very pleasant stay at his tower /lh but also each time Smilk not only respects the answer, he also ignores the previously established (unquoted) punishment in favor of Pvs correct answer on the first one and on the second one compliment him, establishing at least some sort of report for Smilk to recognize

Also wanna take a quick moment on that second set of quotes, to further re-establish that 100% truth cannot exist w/o lies, and to elaborate to make me not seem insane here lmao, it's the same principle as "history is written by the victors" or however the phrase goes, objective truth does not necessarily equate to described truth, nor does a telling of truth automatically mean that the entire truth is revealed since that is quite difficult to do, whatever information you omit will change the way the information is ingested by the audience, and it doesn't have to be the case of lies by omission to our perspective either, you can describe you playing with your kid on a playground, a fully true statement, but you omitted that it was raining when you were outside, the omission I'd be hard-pressed to call a lie personally but it changes the story quite drastically. And even if you don't agree w this sentiment, at bare minimum that's the world that crk has established in these chapters to be true, and I think it is inferable that Smilk would find those omissions to be lies.

(Read aloud by pv): And thus did the all-devouring heart of darkness fall into slumber... The Beast-binding Rituatl of the Witches demands a great wisdom and even greater sacrifice. It much be conducted by someone who is ready to pay the price. This power lies hidden, far and out of reach, for you are forbidden from meddling with magic beyond you ken. Now, The Spire of All Knowledge stands without a master... where all knowledge began, and there it shall remain, as long as there is light. You who dares lay hand on the forbidden knowledge! After many a hardship, may you find the answer your seek... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The master of the Spire... It's about Shadow Milk Cookie, without a doubt. He could be there... Awaiting me... Without a doubt, having gained a physical form, he will pose a much greater threat... Our encounter can't be avoided. No matter if I fear it or not. The Beast are regaining their former power. All the more reason to face them and put and end to their evil. For the good of all Cookies, of the entire world!

The book planted specifically to trick the gang to go to the spire instantly gets snuffed out by PV, he notices instantly that the tower is Smilk's and its likely to contain the man himself, he goes not because he's tricked as Capple believes and relays in her overworld dialogue w smilk, but by his own volition (teehee)

At no point does he get legitimately tricked by Smilk specifically, all the times he does get tricked they're not by cookies with the eyes that are shown in the portraits to be a consistent feature or the flashbacks where the eyes are always eventually shown-- all the pain he goes through is either his own resolution (teehee) to be kind or his kindness being taken advantage of, but he is always in tune w Smilk

Bit annoyin to put the entire interaction down so there's the entire section lol [04 Young Shepherd Cookie], but the entire one of the wolfherd (which I don't think is Smilk, as explained earlier) is an example of him bein taken advantage of, he prioritizes kindness over being suspicious of the kid even though he has already acknowledged they are surely in Smilk's domain-- but once the kid is established to be safe & help is offered Pv then doesn't say a word and generally just acts surprised at the story, until the very end where the gang is talking amongst themselves recognizing that they've been tricked, First Strawberry, then Gingerbrave, then Wizard... But not Pv, he implicitly establishes to the team that kindness is more important than the lying, and recognizes internally that this is Smilk's presence in effect.

The story after is one that can be interpreted as Pv lying, cookie is dying before him, and he tells the cookie what I would argue to be ethical lies, which is that the cookie will be fine. The absolute last thing you want a dying patient to do is give up, you need them to follow your orders, and you need them to believe it will work, because if they don't that's just a self fulfilling prophecy and they are much more likely to go kaput. He suspected that it might be too late but not for a second did that stop him from trying, but since this was an artificial situation to begin w nothing was going to work, ofc. And once Pv finds out that this is another (non Smilk performed) trick and that his kindness has once been taken advantage of, he once again reinstates that kindness is more important and keeps wanting to help the cookie out.

And the final one after, the one with the towerkeeper, is harder at least for me to determine, keeping one of his eyes closed automatically puts him on the sus meeter as a truthful speaker, the way he presents his question as a riddle instead of a quiz yet formats and phrases his question the exact same as Smilk, praising Pvs answer, but also Pv not seeing through the trick if it was performed by Smilk, at most I'd argue that he may be the third closest connection Smilk has but that's very much flimsy and unbiased heh (unrelated but idk why white lily leaves except exclusively to make the story less crowded lol)

Pure Vanilla Cookie: We must look carefully for any clues on the ritual. ... Apple Faerie Cookie: Oh yes... It's as if everything we knew... was wrong! Pure Vanilla Cookie: Let us not jump to conclusions. Perhaps, it's another test... We must keep searching. ... Perhaps, it's a trick to make us stray from our path.

Pvs order of priority the moment of entering the spire is Kindness - Searching for the ritual, then Suspicion - is this another trick, then Confirmation - yes this is a trick, im recognizing this is a stretch which given the experiences w the wolfherd and the dying cookie is decently consistent w how he reacts to non smilk made lies

Pure Vanilla Cookie: The Light... of Truth...? This is... the Dark Side of the Moon... Another dream. ... ... What are you saying? Are you not... my guiding light? Light of Truth: Do not doubt me, Pure Vanilla Cookie...! I am the Light of Truth. Your old friend. All this time, I've been illuminating your path. Fore a long, long time... Even when you were smaller than your Cream Lamb.

Tbh to be frank idk what happens here lmao, he should be fully aware that the light is compromised and even recognizes that this is the moon, so absolutely smilk's influence here... yet he still believes the light to not be smilk...? But at least i think its reasonably inferable that the moment that the cream lamb is mentioned thats when Pv suses stuff out, I really dont know with this one gang, if ya wanna use this as the bullet to shoot my analysis down there's not much I can argue lmao

(The cards): Fshh... Gingerbrave: Huh? What are these cards? They have peculiar markings on them...! Pure Vanilla Cookie: These are tarot cards. Fortunate tellers use them to read someone's future.

Also I don't think Smilk pulls any tricks that Pv himself isn't previously aware of, the moment recluse in the inn brings out the tarot cards Pv immediately knows what they are, I don't think Pv was at all confused what chess was about lol

Fotune Teller Cookie: This way! ... Follow me, now! We're Safe. They won't reach us here ... ... No wonder. After all, this is the Spire of Deceit. Here, have a Jelly. Gingerbrave: Huh... Whoah! Thanks! But we have no time! We need to save our friend! Fortune Teller Cookie: No. You must go back. ... Don't you understand? You cannot win the battle against the Beast of Deceit. ... You'vebeen deceived by someone you trusted. You couldn't see the illusions of the Spire for what they were. So, tell me. How can you save your friend? ... ... If there's still a friend to save. *** Fortune Teller Cookie: Wait. ... I must ask one last question. Does your resolve remain strong? Are you sure you won't regret your choice, come what may? ... ... Follow me. You will only meet more foes down this path. I will show you a safer road.

Now when we're actually in the spire, we can also keep a closer eye on the fortune teller, since we know that he and Pv are on in the same, and we're not going to go into any details as to why teller cause we're instantly going to get into weird timey winey shenanigans lmao. The first what we see of teller once entering the spire is exclusively kindness, he is terrified of the beast but his priority is getting the people out of there. But once the gang absolutely refuses to follow his word, his kindness shifts, if he cannot ensure their safety, he will at least help them to the best of his ability.

Pure Vanilla Cookie: This place... Looks different but feels the same. As if it has revealed its true colors. I must get back to my friends. ...?! These portraits... They all depict Shadow Milk Cookie! They all look different, but it's unmistakably him!*** Pure Vanilla Cookie: This must be Shadow Milk Cookie when he was still called "The Fount of Knowledge"... Everyone is looking up to him. But there are some Cookies who chose... to deny reality. They rejected the bitterness of the world in favor of the sweetness of Deceit... He must have walked a solitary path... ***

Further establishment that the instant Smilk tries to pull off any trickery, although these just bein portraits and not him literally, Pv will instantly snuff it out. And also that enforcing that they're on the same wavelength, that once again when it isn't hittin too close to home he will relate to Smilk.

In the entirety of 18, 19 & 20, he immediately fights back against Smilk, multiple occasions pointing out that he's not telling the truth, being resolute (teehee, ok ill stop lol) in his own self, in a very few occasions faltering for just a step but then immediately regaining his ground. He's not stoic and he is struggling yes, but he has 3 things he believes in and he's not going down yet heh.

Also the next one 21, I'm not super confident if this fictional section lets Pv have any autonomy? But if we assume he does he once again prioritizes kindness over smilk/his tricks, as he heals a cookie even if it means smilk knows his location, he will 100% risk a fight or even dyin if it means he can save at least one other cookie.

And then we get the teller decrying how they never change and turning into recluse scene, or well, sorta, but shh we're not talking about the time travel its weird lmao-- where I mostly just want to mention the connection to the earlier point I made, the shaky interpretation, that the "reason" he turned into the recluse was because he had his eyes open to all the lies, he didn't close his eyes to the lies and let them in, clouding his judgement.

And now we've finally entered the latest chapter, where I should immediately apply our framework that we have to view the entire chapter through:

I'm letting this one tick down my image count, because it's that important. It's admitted at the very end, that this whole recluse thing was an act all along, that he tricked smilk, because Smilk can never lie to Pv and have him not notice it, that image I sent earlier? The one where pv is looking into the mirror and sees smilk? I think thats what he means when they "became one" and knew that smilk was lonely, so yes, before the fall, he knew-- He was still very fragile, very fickle, it wasn't like he was stoically going through the experience, very little would've convinced him to give up, but he knew there was a light to go towards and take advantage of, that tiny light was enough to keep him trucking, to keep him lying, to keep his resolution. I should also make it clear why I think the "becoming one" was that scene and not the scene where he becomes souljam of deceit x2, since I believe that's the scene that most people will assume that is referring to not the one I believe it to be, and tbh... i don't really have facts facts to back either of them up, neither of them sound like good candidates for being the scene, I don't think becoming 2 can be automatically instinctually argued as becoming 1 lol, hell idek what the (unquouted) "I saw your records." is referring to, but all I can do is present my case why it makes more sense for Pv to have been acting the whole time, instead of truly having given up and only the last couple minutes did this specific spark of hope work and not one of the dozen other ones.

So, with that down, once we go to the first part of the latest chapter, is that we know the consistent behaviour for Pv is to instantly snuff Smilk out, when Smilk is not involved he will go in the order of Kindness > Suspicion > Confirmation, his entire full and complete motivation + light at the end of the tunnel is his friends, his goal is to make smilk let his guard down (+ presumably make it out alive), and if at all possible in the slightest; befriend smilk. Alright? We're on the same page? Final chapter time heh. I will be going through the entirety of it in a summarizing fashion, adding in my own reasoning for the claim I made earlier and will quote things whenever I think it establishes things, instead of just the quotes being contextless.

First ep doesn't include any Pv, but it shows Smilk being more brazen w his lies, no longer are they sprinkled w truth, this ep is pretty much peak "villain", yes, even more villain than him gettin 2 deceit souljams, he is relishing in his first major step in victory, a footnote I make later in this diatribe because I cannot order these points to save my life, is that Smilk has long wanted Pv in his clutches, before Pv entered the spire did he intend to capture Pv.

So in ep 2 o with that accomplished he is joyous and flaunts his power to Pv. Pv however is silent and Smilk immediately tries to pry out information from him, guessing what could possibly be on his mind. Pv however has incredibly little interest in being swayed by the power display and nagging, his interest lies is solely within his friends, as although not directly confirmed word for word it seems after Pvs 'goodbye', his absolute rock bottom, Smilk took the gang away, the fear of them being harmed once again awakening Pvs kindness, even for only the tiniest smidgeon, I gotta reiterate this is incredibly fickle, if Smilk were to go hard on Pv rn he would probably give up entirely, the light can just barely rarely get Pv to act in accordance to pre-recluse in its current state. His plan to deceive Smilk isn't in process yet, he's mostly just processing what's happening to him and mostly letting his impulses guide him through the events. Smilk enjoys plucking the obvious weakpoint of Pv, but once again Smilk's nagging isn't his friends, so he doesn't really bother with it. Since Smilk is actively plucking said string, weakening that light, when he brings them out Pv doesn't respond, leading Smilk to poke a little further. A timeskip occurs where Smilk "toys" with the gang, whatever that means, and establishes that the only reason any of the gang is alive is due to his non-violent desires, where he then gets distracted ig? And grabs Pv, threatening to grab the souljam, Pv immediately recoiling and supposedly going to claim that its his, and since he's mostly on autopilot and Beat To Hell Mentally he gets pretty pissed, so Smilk's prodding finally gets an answer he likes out of Pv, but fully believes there is more boiling under Pvs skin so prods further to get him to lash out further. The gang interrupts trying to assure Pv to keep on fightin, and whilst Sapph tries to threaten them further with the legacy of Smilk, but that doesn't deter Brave at all. Smilk decides however to take the moment to, I think enter the souljam? Where he notices how unstable it is, who would've thunk it ikr, where its then established that his plan probably only extended to the recluse stage, after having a little bit of fun w recluse he would then take the souljam and move on, but because of how fragile it is he gets curious, where he then decides to see how far down he can go, the very next sentence admitting he changed his mind from whatever it was before.

They're then all taken to the river, where they just explain that truthtellers drown and those who "embrace deceit" don't, woot exposition lol. Pv however havin been rallied by his friends moments before being sent here but also still being pretty pissy snaps back, establishing his own autonomy, wherein Smilk does a wonderful job immediately undermining the tiniest pushback he got lmao. Oh I should probably mention its the choice of him or his friends right? So yeah, kindness wins out, without a word he chooses himself and heads straight into the river. And as we know earlier, his friends is the stated reason why he got out of the river, and I believe once he gets out of the river, after maybe hearing all of the confident blabberin from Smilk and definitively the blasted hoorays from after he re-emeges, is when he gets his plan to trick Smilk is in action.

His eyes being closed the moment he emerges from the water has nothing to do with that conclusion, just btw /j, lh

I do think he did hear what they were saying when he was under the water, as asking "... Are you satisfied now?" directly replies to their previous disappointment, in finding him just drowning instantly to be anticlimactic, with the ensuing excitement as I previously explained ensures. And just to make it a little clearer, I believe this is the moment where he sets his plan to deceive Smilk, yk, perhaps, oh, idk, he "embraces deceit" and that allowed him to complete the requirements laid out by the river?

The chess scene is where things get really, really intersting for Smilk, but I think I'm going to put that in the earlier section, and leave any Pv relevant parts here. So yes since you're reading the finished product you would've already known my dissection of the chess game, teehee.

As the rules get explained and Wizard questions the "No lies" rule, Pv seems to be implied to be physically repulsed by the idea, but doesn't say anything, since Smilk notices that he doesn't want to play the game. The coin gets flipped, the coin is rigged, Smilk goes first. Ik I mentioned this quote earlier in the two sides of a coin section, "Aren't we like two peas in a pod? I get that a lot! Heh. Sometimes it's hard to tell us apart!", but I want to elaborate a tiny bit on the point, because this is the first time we ever see Smilk cheat, which yes I talked about earlier but this is about Pv lol, he deceives and lies, but he hasn't ever broken any implicitly or explicitly stated rules before this point, so I think it's one of 3 options, the least meaningful one is that he is talking about how they look similar, you simply mistook my face for Pv's how silly of you, or the two remaining options, that Smilk also sees Pv as a cheater or re-enforcing previous information where he believes Pv to be the biggest liar in the world, and tbh I think it's probably a mix of both. Afterwards the comment about the lack of chess pieces arises, and ofc the friends get turned into pieces, which he doesn't seem to react a ton to either. Though if I can extrapolate a bit farther than I think is reasonable for the claim I've made, I think he is just paying attention to what Smilk is saying, as we also know that Pv knows, that Smilk is full of suspicions, so if you want to trick the master of lies, you really need to know what he truly believes in. Now he no longer is just defensive and trying to protect his own resolution, he is now trying to calculate what Smilk's truth is, which in turn makes him sturdier-- But ofc only like, by 1% maybe, he ain't recovering for a while lmao. Pv says his first words this entire ep when he answers Smilk's proposed easy question, what is a lie. And then the second answer also doesn't bring a ton of insight into Pv, but the third does, as its designed to provoke Pv. The original question is "How do we judge what is right?" which gets instantly contorted into absolute nonsense, mans a weasel here lmao, and it instead turns into a question of "When you blew up the souljams (I think is what happened) for what you believed to be the greater good, would you do that again?" to which Pv denies, leading to the piece getting stuck some more.

It seems the implied answer is that because Pv adamantly and continuously refuses to give another answer, Smilk and then continuously get free moves, though the first thing we see is him being quiet some more. Though his souljam (wherever it is lol) is physically reacting in some manner, as once again it is reacting to his friends. After having been mostly quiet this entire match, and only showing much of any stronger emotion by being surprised at Smilk's weaseling but quickly regained his composure, he finally snaps at Smilk again, when White Lily, his best friend, is brought up, and havin to think about her really aint makin him feel too good lol. But after being nagged about it by Smilk he seems to snap out of it, and returns to quiet fuming. Smilk pivots then once again, to establish a point he has been making, which is that everything is Pv's fault, which Pv has now seemed to have caught up on as Smilk's intention, as he replies "... You're right. Perhaps... It's entirely my fault..." with a totally not suspicious annoyed expression on the model, which causes Smilk to immediately burst into laughter and ecstatic. He goes on this tirade about how pathetic Pv is, that he's not the cookie of deceit and how Smilk is not the ultimate truth, but Pv as usual doesn't say much. Smilk then at least sounds like he pulls out his trump card, since Smilk has now thoroughly broken down Pv's perception of truth so that in turn obviously means Pv's point of existance, yk, truth, as pointless and a lie in of itself, shouldn't Pv regret his life for having followed this false ideology? But Pv here has his own ace card to play, noticing the weakness in Smilk's ideology Pv refuses to answer, if he's the cookie of deceit now, which as established earlier, means they can cheat, that means Pv can now cheat, and proceeds to immediately save his friend from immediate peril whilst laughing maniacally to hide the true intent of his actions. This act seems to have taken the wind out of him and he spends the little while recovering whilst Smilk is laughing harder than ever before. After recovering from his laughing fit he commends Pv for not being foolish and surprising him. Unbeknownst to Smilk, he is revealing his own hand, that Smilk is lowering his guard.

Now with the chess game over, Wizard seems awfully eager for the next activity, where we immediately get a great quote from Smilk.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Cookies fear what they don't understand. Always so quick to fill that void with the first thing that fits their belief system! Anything, really!

Given that's entierly true for Mystic, reasonably true for Sbice and technically true for Smilk, I have a feeling I might know at least a little bit how the other two beast's will work lol. Once again, the story repeats, game is introduced, this time it's cards, and friends get in trouble, whoopsies. This time however Pv has had enough, accidentally regressing the upper hand he had gotten from the previous game, whoopsies lol, where he snaps at Smilk to stop involving the friends, and that this is between only them-- he couldn't contain his desire for kindness, and seeing them threatened so often was getting to him too much. Smilk with this reveal of weakness keeps his cards (teehee) incredibly close to his chest, getting more reinforcement that the friends are the ticket to his broken jam. This game along with the chess game is also all about telling the truth, and if they "lie", whatever that means for tarot cards, they get shredded for it. I saw someone like yesterday talk about how interesting the cards answers were, but I'm running on the finest fumes Adhd can give, so I don't remember any of that whatsoever lmao; they should probably be a neighbouring post if this guy doesn't get shadowbanned for being a billion words long. The cards then threaten to do bodily functions cookies shouldn't be able to do but we aren't going on that tangent either lmao. Smilk places all the upset cards out, and asks Pv to pull out the desired cards, who initially refuses but quite quickly folds (teehee, feck I said I would stop that lol) and picks some anyways, where the gang loudly try to rig the cards, to which Smilk just finds cute & pathetic. It turns out that by the force of some kind, most likely Smilk himself, the terrible unfortunate cards are consistently drawn every single time for Pv who doesn't react much, and after trying over and over he decides to instead draw for himself, which then something physically occurs to Pv? I'm not sure what he just hurks over for a second and then doesn't get followed up upon lol. After Smilk rigged his own tarot cards, he then lets Pv try again, to the absolute befuddlement of his entourage, but Pv doesn't accept the offer, not wanting to let Smilk win. But since Smilk for some reason really wants Pv to practice the cards he doesn't go very hard on his prodding this time, instead throwing out some empty threats and focusing on pivoting to showing Pv his room so that he can totally go practice his tarots in there instead, of course establishing that escape is no option. And the final panel is Pv being confused about something, but I'm not sure if it's because of Smilks handing of cards over to Sapph or if Capple is that loud in her anger.

I'm gonna skip most of the Capple drama, I'm mostly confused why the writers wrote her that way? I don't really read it as out of character inherently but it's just, weird? Why'd you do that lol. But the duo does talk about how weird it is for Smilk to behave this way. Also not sure what that really tells about any of the people involved, but Smilk has not informed the duo adequately how he feels about Pv, so they just think he's emotionally no different than any normal cookie, instead of, yk, pining /lh,

After that weirdness occurred, Smilk threatens to murder Capple, so ngl I'm not gonna guess they've got a great personal relationship together.

Then just. filler I think? I'm not sure why we learn the functions of deceit, it doesn't really seem pertinent. Might just be crk wanting to throw in some ideas they had idk lol

Some more filler but then jumpscare Smilk has a curiosity he wants to fulfill, since this entire time his actions could be in theory completely dictated by his very presence, yes? So what happens when Smilk isn't around, will Pv crack?

Pv however, believes he still has the upper hand, he's now in that final step of that plan, he has to make Smilk believe that he won, but that does mean being technically mean to his friends, which he does apologize for later heh. He doesn't actively aggro his friends though, he just keeps emphasizing his "loyality" to Smilk, with a pertinent point being.

Truthless Recluse: I think I'm beginning to understand him. And... it fills me with fear and self-loathing. Wizard Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie thinks he made you join his side! He thinks he's won! Truthless Recluse: ... He is not wrong.

Besides him describing Smilk's innermost feelings almost to a T, when your own friends tell you to your face your plan is working, I think you're doin an alright job w your deception lol, He goes on a long monologue about how much he doesn't care and how he's the greatest liar ever. However, something goes awry, really awry, in fact, it wasn't just me analysing the scenes who noticed, the friends in fact noticed Pv's behaviour. They start questioning his character, which instantly breaks Pv's character, and then they list out all the actions Pv has committed to keep his friends safe this entire time, whilst struggling to find the words as he has no good answer as to why he would've saved them if he truly, genuinely, didn't care for them anymore, if they really meant nothing to him, if he truly gave up all the way back, why are any of his friends alive right now?-- they bombard him with the truth of his actions, where he then gives up trying to talk back. After a long pause he instead brings out the tool he knows that Smilk, will enjoy, the tool that will cement his connection with Smilk, that neither party will be able to tell him that he's lying right now, the tarot cards, and seals his friends away.

Sapph comes in to collect them, where Pv acts his cruellest, for the first time actually dismissing his friends completely, which I absolutely can see the argument that this is proof that he truly doesn't care about them. I would however argue that Pv was overcompensating, he knows he will never harm them, and so far that has been entirely within his control, Smilk so far has never harmed the gang directly so Pv has had plenty of proof that turning them in will likely not endanger the gang, keeping the gang around would also harm his deception extraordinarily so, super mega so, it might genuinely completely ruin his entire trick, if he showed any mercy at all in the slightest to his friends might tip Smilk off that his kindness has been growing as time has gone on, not diminishing, but because of their grilling of him he was terrified of the possibility, so like i said i believe, he overcompensated, surely there's no way Smilk thinks I'm lying if I had no interest at all whatsoever in the slightest of accepting their offer. I am so mean and evil, Smilk won't suspect a thing and my friends won't be harmed.

Smilk, which I believe was implied to be floating outside of the window spying on Pv, knows that "he failed to get his friends to leave", so twists that into Pv now missing his friends, and proposes a solution, one that Pv can already tell what said solution is. Smilk is excited once more that Pv is becoming more like him, not only does he use the same tricks, not only can he now do tarots, but he now knows what games they're going to play.

Then they just, participate in the game, Brave accidentally spoils the ending by saying he knows their friends wouldn't turn on them, I wonder who that could be about /lh. Smilk starts prodding Pv again, who wordlessly rolls the dice. After a couple rounds Smilk comments on how boring this game is, and Pv explains that they've basically got infinite resolution, which is either a really bad play by him, or Pv's intimate understanding that Smilk's guard is so low that he knew that Smilk would do exactly what he'd do, which is brush it off and ignore it. The mistake that truly happens though is not limited to Pvs, the friends call out to him and tell him to stay determined, and Pv trying his best to keep his stoicism his souljam struggles to lie the same, leading to Smilk noticing that the string can still be plucked, and decides to see what happens if it snaps.

Smilk has to some capacity restrained the gang, expressing tiredness from their lack of appreciation, imposing the power over his land, reiterating his strength, all to turn to Pv, and ask him instead for a solution to these pesky cookies, who asks what he wants him to do, but Smilk insists that Pv should have to make the choice, surprising Pv. Which then leads to Smilk revealing the optoins, as usual, kill the gang or give over the souljam. This is admittedly one of the only points of contention with the claim I made ages ago at this point lol, how would he change the color of the souljam if he wasn't really losing his truth here, the biggest stretch I could give is that he's not abandoning his truth, he is instead prioritizing deceit. He is building up to this moment after all, he knows that Smilk is currently at his lowest defence right now, so convincing him he is an ally through becoming the thing he knows Smilk wants, becoming a cookie of deceit, seems like a logical thought process for him to have, I just, really don't know if that'd convert the color of his jam though lol, maybe its excusable enough that it only converts halfway. He then hands over the half white souljam over to Smilk, who immediately pulls the rug under Pv, because he is pissed off at the gang for being such a nuisance this entire time, and he also knows that its the remaining tether between Pv becoming exactly like him, and off the tower they go, devastating Pv.

He pleads for answers, but Smilk just taunts him, and brings back the ace from ages ago, he's been planting the seeds for Pv to believe that Smilk is innocent after all, this is him cashing it in. He reveals his guard wasn't actually that low, and that he had noticed the fact the gang are still alive. I'm not sure how to describe the intent of his diatribe, ig just quoting it doesn't hurt, he's snappy about it at least.

Shadow Milk Cookie: What was it? Your petty self-righteousness? Foolishness? Sense of Guilt? What was it that made your Soul Jam ring like a thousand bells?! Oh, I couldn't stand this annoying sound of whatever was left of your feeble will that kept resonating and resonating throughout the entire place!

The reason why idk how to describe it is because he then shifts over to gleefulness, where he explains the transition from simply wanting the soul jam to wanting to see what happened when he prodded him. Pv however, instantly picked up on what Smilk was putting down, and instantly repeating exactly word for word what Smilk wants to hear. He then shows the souljam is now completely white, which since it has been in the hands of Smilk and we know the souljam can change colors if the beast gets a hold of it I see no reason why that isn't a good enough explanation to cover the rest of my back lol. Pv however, still wants his shiny rock please and thank you, because he's still enacting his plan, his souljam is his, because it is now the souljam of deceit.

Truthless Recluse: Is this what you wanted? Or is it even better? Instead of one Soul Jam of Knowledge, you will have two Soul Jams of Deceit. And me, forever by your side.

Mans knows exactly the words Smilk wants to hear to a T, mans gauging how correct he was in his reply lmao, also mans says "we are meant to be together" and smilk does :D. Oh and also reiteration of his desire to control Pv. Pv also instantly checks how much power he actually gained from either himself converting a little bit to deceit or having smilks powers infused into the souljam after holding onto it lmao. After smilk gets like a minute to brag Pv immediately has won, his plan succeeded, Pure Vanilla Cookie successfully tricked Shadow Milk Cookie.

Smilk, realizing what has just happened, goes through a lot of stages of emotions, first dismay that he cannot control his other realm, then anger at Pv, specifically regarding that he was tricked, making him sound very hypocritical I wonder why he would be hypocritical what about his character would indicate that he would be bothered by being tricked i dunnooo /lh, then almost uncontrollable rage as he demands the souljam where he rushes pv with anger, then surprise, and i believe for a final moment awe, then pv decides to stab his souljam which is a choice for sure lol. I think the way I would read it requires us to tangent into his awakened form, so uh, tangent time.

Pv's awakened form is all about recognizing the importance of truth and deceit, thanks for coming to my ted talk. ok well no in seriousness the most important part is that he has smilk's eyes in his cape thing, both opened and closed ones, an absolute shitton of his design takes from smilk, his room has keys to smilk's locks, he has moon decorations that are smilks theme whilst he also has sun ones for pv, he has scrolls which is in both his Sage & Fount outfits are important design elements. His awakened form also has a couple lines that signify the importance of both truth and deceit, "You can learn a thing for(?) two from Deceit", "Truth and Deceit may be inseperable...". There are also far more dialogue than pre awakened of his desire for friendship & connection for others, since it only has 2 compared to awakened's 7, friendship, determination and resolution are the primary things that made him awaken into compassion.

There we go, tangent over, with that established, since he stabbed his souljam, do we think it could possibly be direct symbolism that he's breaking the original meaning of his souljam, that it's not just the souljam of truth, but the souljam of both truth and deceit, as both are important to him now? Just a thought? Maybe possible sorta? Anyways back to the rest of the ep lol, he goes through anime transformation sequence where he goes through every aspect of his life, sploshes through milk, then gets ribbons of the yellow/white of truth and the dark blue/eyes of deceit, really hammering home that both aspects are intrinsic to his existence as awakened. He then gets his memories fixed, he describes them being fixed to some capacity as his choices, so regaining the autonomy that smilk so badly wanted but could never once from start to finish ever manage to control. Smilk responds accordingly by calling him a traitor, where Pv's first words to smilk is (paraphrased) "I will embrace deceit, I will accept doubt, everything holds answers, don't you agree mr knowledge man. we can be poggies together duder" which smilk is not a fan of whatsoever, "A lie shall vanquish a lie!" Which is just a description of what he did lol. I think I hit my tired mark, Ill try to stay coherent

Next ep is filler resolution from the first ep

Then Smilk is pissed, but pv doesnt care, his nr 1 action is kindness after all, and especially now when he has awakened and embraced deceit he can see through smilk even more than he already could, he has no reason to fear smilk whatsoever, smilk just laughs in his face to pvs confusion, smilk recognizes his power imbalance and tries to take advantage of that the friends are dead, but teller came back and saved them, leaving smilk with no leverage at all anymore, he is lesser than pv in every single way now, then pv explains how there can be 2 pvs, pv prevents one of the tarot cards but i still dk what any of those cards mean so cant help you there on what he's on about, they fuse together into one, and then smilk comes in pissed cause no one is paying attention to him, he so desperately is clawing for any kind of upper hand

but pv just, isnt phased by it whatsoever, once again because he embraced deceit he is twice the cookie smilk is, and reaches out to smilk, he tries to gain the upper hand again but it doesnt work, pv explains that friendship poggies which smilk finds dumb. Pv then asks why did you do all that shit today, im simply curious dude, smilk tries to mask, pv sees right through it cause of the aforementioned records which told him that smilk was ecstatic when the souljams touched tips i mean deceit, smilk realizing his truest feelings is just bein splayed out for everyone to se shuts down further, but pv pushes through and tries to find common ground, but as someone who has had everyone turn their back to him and then spent lifetimes lying shockingly struggles w friendship, so this connection shit is so inane to him he cant help but just break out into laughter and desperately claw at reasons why it wouldnt work, that he already has his spire, and pv must just be dumbass, but pv aint havin none of it, if you truly didnt give a shit you wouldnt have done all of this effort bestie, but smilk doesnt like that pv is still right so tried once again to flat failure to gain the upper hand, where we then return to all the way back in the beginning, we finish off the loop, pv explains how they became one, and he could sense how lonely smilk was, which smilk reacts violently too, this is hitting insanely close to home and he'd rather not have him keep airing out his feelings please and thank you, pv does not, "Yes, Shadow Milk Cookie. No one else but me can truly understand you. We share the same Soul Jam. We can understand each other like no one else can. You don't have to be lonely... I'm right here. Please. Let me be your... friend.", which for the first second ever this entire ep, doesn't reveal his secret feelings, doesnt accidentally get brought to the surface, but truly cracks his defense, even if its only the tiniest of cracks, Smilk hesitates at the notion, he thinks about it, genuinely, for just a mere moment, which as you can imagine he doesn't like that it just happened and becomes violent again, raising his defenses a billion times as all petulant bullies do and screams his head off and we bonk him heh. pv still outclasse smilk, he has his powers, there is nothing smilk can do that pv cant do, so smilk is at most just bein a whiny baby here, so pv tries again to connect, but smilk is, lets say, not in the right headspace for this conversation, and is rude lol. He then runs away and the first thing pv says is functinoally "ill get to see him again :)"

Now, after aaaaaaaaaallllll that, what have we learnt about pv and his likelihood of forgiving smilk? I at least feel like the odds are the he has already forgiven smilk, that smilk doesn't actually have much that needs to be forgiven as pv was playing along and that he will choose kindness every time. yeah im gonna say its probably decently likely that pv's biggest lesson in practice is determination, he will persevere because his friends are always worth it-- and no intent of not extending his compassion to someone he has already embraced and intimately understands.

also ik it's irrelevant cause it's not talking about the facts, but remember when i mentioned way back at the beginning of the post that I made comments about the stories in discord?

That was my live first reaction to the story at that point, so unless I'm a massive untrusting moron, I think at least I can say there's reasonable precedent to believe that he wasn't at least intended to have truly 'fallen'.

...

...

Okay FINE I'll talk about why the time travel is weird lmao. It's cause it's not time travel xd I think its the grandfather paradox in play? Because if they are indeed the very same Pv, then their endgame shouldnt be capable of changing, there should be no "real" failed recluse and then our awaken pv, they should both be failed or both be awakened, it turns out im too tired to explain how the order of events works, but pv cant get awakened w/o teller, and teller cant know to go to awakened when there is no awakened yet, yes i did write this all in one night thats adhd for you, so the couple options that are available are:

It's an AU not timetravel, meaning all Teller scenes are irrelevant to any analysis of Pv, they lived different lives, it is irrelevant.

It's entirely made by Smilk to trick the gang, which makes the least amount of sense cause he would've then knowingly constructed his own downfall given he should have knowledge of the awakening if past, present and future all were taking place at the same time.

Or the one I find the likeliest, its an externalization of Pvs doubts manifested, it was never real and wasn't any time travel, that explanation was a lie like most parts of the tower, but his fears are real, and in a space that represents the multitude perspectives of truth, so literally just like Mystic, his Resolution and Apathy separated, but also like Mystic the Apathy part is really bad at doin their job and was actually really passionate about their friends lmao

Now let me live in peace ignorin the stupid time travel some more lol

They should have the capacity to believe they are wrong and thus capable of learning to any degree.

Shadow Milk Cookie: What's happening... Why am I not regaining my power...? The guardian is gone... So why is the blasted tree still standing? Why doesn't Pure Vanilla Cookie... obey?! ***

This isn't evidence of him actually acknowledging that he is wrong in the moment, but it's the foreshadowing of his conclusion, as you surely know by getting to this point lol. He continuously gets presented one lesson over and over and over: Lies cannot modify truth, and it cannot control it. It can manipulate the way knowledge is framed, but it does not modify the truth in any way. And although this lesson will be hammered in more once the foreshadowed part comes around, it's absolutely not a sentiment that's meaningless once you've completed the latest chapter heh.

I'm rapidly losing my capacity to be coherent, but the entirety of Pv's ascension is fighting everythin he knows about, he got tricked, he underestimated truth, he became weaker than pv, he lost to this gang, his spire got destroyed-- the question here is now when that has all been smashed, will we get to him in time or is he just going to reinforce his desperation to repair his status, though given pv's acceptance of deceit i dont expect whatever reperation occurs is not going to be particularly weak to a guy who goes 'yeah well im everything you want to be and i want to be your friend'

Felt like there should at least be an honorable mention for the times where Smilk really starts showing their desire to keep Pv around pre-latest chapter, that once again this wasn't a final minute thing. I should extra elaborate that does not mean that all of these are healthy, appropriate or even definable as 'not bad'. This is mostly the toxic part of toxic yaoi lmao

Shadow Milk Cookie: Eugh, I see you're still so deadfully, painfully, unbreaably... "you"!!!... Thinking much about me these days? ... Pretty cosy, innit? Makes you feel right at home! Why don't you stay for another day? Or... FOREVER! Sit back, relax, and watch my sinister plans unfold from the comfort of your very own prison! Oh? What am I saying? Silly little m! You've always been here, and you always will be! *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Indeed, all this time, you've been my most treasured marionette! ***

And the very final section, is there any evidence contradictory to his ability to be reformed? Is he particularly stubborn about something that would hinder his ability to change his perspective?

And I mean, besides throwing a childish tantrum at the end because he got scared of intimacy? Ig there's one,

Shadow Milk Cookie: Cookies fear what they don't understand. Always so quick to fill that void with the first thing that fits their belief system! Anything, really! Ahh, that would make Knowledge simply the collective agreement on the strongest beliefs, wouldn't you agree? Allow me to demonstrate with these cards.

Which yeah, is pretty antithetical to the idea of knowledge as a virtue, well done smilk you've got 1 whole argument as to why you might struggle with redemption, I'll let you know in 5-10 business years whether that out-stumps all the rest of this dissertation lmao.

My tired gang finishing up last section, don't see naything else that's antithetical to truth or knowledge having popped up at all

Now with all of that out of the way, phew-wee, we can talk about the skin a little bit. We know the skin isn't his Fount of Knowledge time, cause first of all the sage is never referred to as that lol, but secondly they don't look alike, the reason I mentioned the hiding of the past thing on the other two is that Smilk proudly shows off his past and deliberately brings Pv to it, so we know what the fount looks like, and it ain't the sage

So if not the past, what then? Tbh I'm not super confident, if I wanted to be a giddy lil fangirl I could argue that it's the future, that it is what redeemed Smilk will look like, that as the story progresses we will more and more see Smilk, though in all honesty it does just feel like an AU version, he does say "They cookie of truth? That's-a-me" which, yk, wasn't his og virtue and probably won't be his redeemed one either, the story told within talks of a recluse that doesn't exist, the one in the main questline never talks about any mountains, it just feels like a swap au, nothing more. Whatever the option though, I still want to make some inferences, though I do very much recognize that because we don't know who Sage is to the canon that all of this is pretty baseless, but since we're here anyways, why not lol.

The biggest inference is that Truthful Smilk & Present Smilk aren't all that different in behaviour at all "Do I really need to spell out everything? Come on, think!", they're both cheeky "Now now, I'm not like those other Academics", they're both playful "Ooooh, are you proposing a debate? Alright, but no backsies!"-"Think I'm wrong? Very well, present your case!", they both have their convictions "Admitting your ignorance is the first step towards the Truth", they both tease "Why does everyone try so hard to hide their ignorance? Tsk!", they sing-song "The arts, academia, technology, magic...Truth exists everywhere!", both really want to show off their stuff "There you are! Time for some magic!"-- like the only practical difference between the two in their character is what they're believing in, the only other thing i can think of is that sage tends to just make statements a lot more often, thats it. So, going on quite the decent limb, I don't think he needs a full personality or character rewrite to still work as smilk.

Finally, after 12 hours of straight grinding on this: In conclusion, do I think he's currently redeemed, as I'm a bit scared to post this so I feel the need to assure my stance? No, I don't, nor was that my claim. Do I think it will inherently make it a better story if he was redeemed? Not inherently no, but I think it absolutely can be a good story, I don't think it's doomed to fail or doomed to inexplicably ruin the characters involved automatically. By saying I believe he can be redeemed and to some capacity would like to see it, am I excusing all his terrible/abusive behaviour that i skipped over for this analysis as I believe it to be irrelevant to my case? One of us has the wrong definition of redemption then if you think that to be what I'm saying lmao, cause what I'm aware atoning for your sins and crimes are required to be redeemed, a whiplash "I tried to murder you and then suddenly two seconds later I'm nice now" is a bad redemption story at all times and has nothin to do w smilk-- ofc it'd require growth, recognition, self reflection & consequences, ofc his past behaviour would have to be atoned for in whatever way the victims see fit. Do I think I am undermining Pv's experiences/trauma regarding Smilk if he were to be redeemed? Not only do I feel like i adequately listed out the reasons why I don't think he present day canonically doens't hold a grudge towards smilk in the slightest, i would also not think smilk or any of the beasts to be redeemed w/o their other half also accepting them. Do I expect crk to handle the redemption in a good way? No lol

[the-crustation-sensation]

How i think arcane s2 fumbled Viktor. Coming from a disabled person

Not proofread we die like all my favorite characters

As previously mentioned, I struggle with chronic pain. I have POTs and probably EDS now that I think about it, and I use a cane on bad days since at times walking long distances is very painful

I started watching arcane shortly after discovering my own disability and I was SO happy to see a well represented disabled character, guess who my favorite character is (hard mode)

Anytime there’s someone with a physical disability represented in modern media, they’re never allowed to just… be disabled, casually. Yes disability massively affects and changes one’s live immensely, but it’s not the only all-encompassing trait of their personality. A lot of the time when I see a disabled character, they’re just there to be disabled. They don’t get a character arc outside of their disability… or much of a personality either (9 times out of 10 their usually always paralyzed in a wheelchair too, but that’s a different conversation)

And sometimes having a characters arc revolve around a disability is acceptable, but it’s not ok to have a token disabled character and do nothing else with their plot line. Disability is allowed to be a part of their story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story. Make your disabled characters people with a disability, not a blank slate token character.

And that’s why I was so pleased with Viktor in season one. He exists With his disability, not despite it. It was very refreshing to a character have a very defined personality and purpose outside being a token disabled character. Yes of course his disability is a huge part of his story, but it’s not the entire story.

Now how did s2 fumble?

In s1 I think viktors descent into illness was well written, I was kind of expecting his disability to be a big part of his overall character arc in the first place (as it so often is) but in s2 I feels like the writers almost forgot that Viktor was dying of cancer … not trying to perfect himself

I was so excited to see what s2 did with his character arc, and I just ended up.. disappointed. On surface level i loved Jesus!viktor just as much as the next fan, but when you dig deeper into his story it felt so icky

Whenever a disabled person is represented, not only does their character arc revolve around disability, it has to revolve around “fixing” said disability. And a big pattern I see is many character arcs having an undertone of radical acceptance. I.e “you where never broken, you just needed to accept yourself” “you just need to love your disability as a part of you”

No… you don’t have to love the part of you that’s actively causing you pain and lowering your quality of life, or actively killing you like Viktors terminal illness.

Self acceptance with disability is all fine and dandy, but it is SO overplayed and overwritten. You’re allowed to be frustrated with your disability, and learn to move past it.

The big point is Viktor was never trying to “perfect” himself in s1, he was trying to live.

In s2 they took the idea of Viktor working to cure his terminal illness and ran with it. They blew his arc so wildly out of proportion until he literally became a god obsessed with “perfecting” all of humanity.

And that just felt.. icky. It didn’t feel like Viktor. The Viktor in s1 had a dream of helping his people, of using his creations to uplift everyone! He never would have wanted to force all of humanity into “evolving” without their consent. And do not even get me STARTED on how he completely lost his autonomy to the hexcore, and in turn took it from so many people. That deserves a post on its own

I was so excited for the arcane writers to do something creative with his character arc, but no. Once again a disabled character fell victim to their entire arc being about fixing their disability, only to end with radical self love and acceptance

And the thing is I could get behind an arc of Viktor healing! He deserves to heal and live his life happy and healthy, but to me and him all of a sudden obsessed with “perfection” felt completely out of left field

I think my biggest problem with season 2 overall is that it lost sight of the entire theme of the show. Season one was a beautiful statement about classism, segregation, and how differently it affects people. It was representing real world problems on a scale we could understand. And the best part about s1 was that everyone on the main cast was relatively morally grey, they were humans who had realistic flaws, and made mistakes.

Nobody was shoved into a traditional “good guy/bad guy” box, and that made the show feel so much more real.

S2 was rushed, and for some reason the writers said “actually never mind, we’re going to bend everyone’s morals out of proportion so we can have a big bad villian we all fight at the end”

It had an overwhelming undertone of “forgive your oppressors so we can come together against a common enemy” which felt like a massive slap in the face to everyone who’s actually experience the classism and poverty that arcane represented in s1

I think so many of the problems with s2 could have been fixed or at least explained in detail if we got a s3. I understand as a writer myself that would have been a long, and expensive process that the arcane producers weren’t willing to go through. But I can’t help but mourn the story we could have had if the writers were just allowed to spend more time on it.

Overall, I could write an essay picking apart every tiny detail of arcane in general, so I’ll stop here. I just needed to get this rant out in writing and out of my head, I’m so insanely disappointed and mildly insulted with how the arcane writers treated Viktor, who had such potential

Feel free to share your opinions or completely disagree with me in the comments, please be kind as this is just my humble analysis and opinion.

[abyss-seer]

Are we tarot readers contributing to Nihilism?

So yesterday I forced myself to watched YouTube video, let's just say the topic is really interesting and I was listening it like a podcast rather than a video. And I had to pause and replay some parts many times cause it was really hard to grasp the full understanding of words you don't use on a daily basis. But I respect this dude for using his beautiful vocabulary no matter how complex it seemed. People being different is one of the reasons you learn new things through them every single day. Ok let's talk about it!

Anyways he gives a beautiful explanation on the fascinating stereotypes surrounding love and its epitomization as one of the most surreal things that can ever happen or that one can ever do. I think the most important points of this video that I recognised was this constant importance given to the feeling of "Eros" rather than other forms of love such as "Philia" or "Agape". Now there are many facets of love, yet we seem to give this unrelenting extra significance to "Eros" for some reason, so much so that sometimes we consider our "The One" as someone equivalent to God who can solve all our life problems by just being there with us.

Now this "The One" according to me is one of the most misused, misinterpreted, and overrated term used synonymously with other words like "Future Spouse" "Twin Flame" "Divine Counterpart" and what not in pick a card reading. Just go to any tarot reader's masterlist or you tube channel, the topic is most talked about content on the internet. You can go to my readings as well. My last love read was a very comprehensive 6 part reading series, I released around (after) Valentine's where I vomitted so much content that now I won't be doing more than that future spouse reading anytime soon. Maybe your next picture perfect guy/girl/LGBTQIA2S + partner maybe..... So maybe a Karmic, a Soulmate, a New Person, or The one who got away and know this honey pie, if you are meant to find some Karmic, you will find someone who will treat you right yet a Karmic. Please understand the significance of meeting people like these. Not every Karmic is some abusive ratshit. Not trying to invalidate your feelings just stating life and its happenings in spiritual terms.

So are we Tarot readers encouraging Nihilism, maybe in one way or other by writing rosy words about some distant person whose flaws you are yet to see. By painting this perfect picture of what love can look like in future, cause let's be honest, you can't be fooled by a picture perfect idea of a lover but a picture perfect idea of love as love in itself has become such a misconstrued idea in this society that this is an expectation for many of you these days. To find and build a love like that. Not understanding that love is a lifelong process of accepting the flaws of your lover and seeing them for who they are. These expectations of beautiful love stories that you are fantasizing about isn't all love if the grossness of its acceptance hasn't been touched at all. Sorry not sorry, but compatibility doesn't comes from someone being the perfect version or embodiment of what you imagine them to be, its a lot more. Its nothing related to the fetishes you have grown accustomed to after reading a bunch of 18+ reads. This is to say, I am not criticizing readers who make such reads, sometimes some of it can be too farce

Or just something that explains only the positive and happy side of a relationship. The problem is when some of these consumers take it so seriously as if their life depends on a bit of info on the future spouse and then they cling to it, without trying to initiate themselves to the real world and suppose a tarot reader's prediction came true and you met them, chances are very unlikely that this stranger might outright like and then start loving your authentic character that you show them versus the person you pretend to be in front of everyone (everyone has masks). I would be highly vary of a stranger that sees my strange whims and doesn't scrunches their nose even once, no projections of insecurity, just saying you can't show your authentic inner self to just anyone on advice or a pick a card reading resonation thinking they might love it much less like it. Please be practical in your dating life. Stop letting the expectations you create in your mind about love create a fantasy that ultimately doesn't work. Leading you to not believe in love or romance altogether. They exist, you need to put constant long term effort on it that's it.

Also focus a little bit on the friendships, rather than finding someone compatible. Take fun readings as fun only. Not some serious shyte!!! Okay then have a great day. Byeee

Channeled song

Conclusionary Notes

So when it comes to fuelling this fire of lust and passion in this overconsumption of so much disrespectful content, even I am not behind. Though I don't explicitly talk about KPOP Idols and their love life. I do have some questionable titles to my content, something I once did for titillating my audience but didn't think their desire to go oh so deep into the lives of these celebrities was so huge and normalised to a creepy extent, sorry not sorry, but I will call it out for what it is, that's weird the same weird way my brain thought of risking that titillating title. I think its just the questionable titles that make me controversial, the content has little to no sexual content in it. So yeah, I am just like that. Though there are times I have got the smexual feels off Of some reads, I don't write it.

"Sorry Children" , Adults have personal lives not everyone is going to use tarot to entertain those fantasies of yours. Special emphasis on the anonymous user that was constantly asking harrassing me my inbox with their left hand for Ateez Yunho 's personal life reading.

[just-a-queer-disaster]

Reasons why Sel is autistic, a sleepy rant(?) WARNING: MINOR SPOILERS

Note that I am tired, the books are not open In front of me,I haven't finished oathbound, and I am tired. And that Selwyn Kane is definitely autistic.

I will never glaze over the fact he literally went non-verbal. I'm not finished reading so no spoilers but that man literally just didn't want to talk so he didn't and we love that for him. I don't wanna hear "He was giving her the silent treatment" Maybe but I don't give a shit. He is VERY argumentative and if he wanted to fight he would've, and I think he does later so

His mother described him as always having a very reactive face.

His hands or fingers are always twitching or "flexing at his sides". Sir if you need to stim just do it its ok.

As a kid he definitely had an intense fixation on his mothers studies, or just aether in general. You can tell by the way he infodumps in those tunnels or something in the first book. Like, you cant tell me he wasn't at least a little happy to have someone to rant too, even if it was just world building. Also the thought of him as a kid carrying around his huge ass book and getting like 6 double takes is cannon to me. like Sir why were you 5 and under and sneaking into your moms room to read her books. It's giving me getting en encyclopedia for Christmas and being so joyful.

His sensitive hearing and touch and everything. I don't wanna hear "but all Merlins have it" yeah and you know what maybe they all have a little tism cuz of it too. On a serious note, The way he (don't quote me) clapped his hands on top of his ears when the bar door opened was so viscerally me its not funny. Having different (seeking or avoiding) sense and reaction to sensory input and it not being socially the norm or accepted is part of the autistic experience.

His little emotional support knife collection. How much you wanna bet he would get anxious as a kid and just start lining up his weapons and Nick would walk in and just stare in confusion. I bet if other people weren't there he would've began to organize them.

Bro struggles with social interactions. Left alone for 2 seconds and he started a fight. He often struggles to see the other side...dude read the books and look me in the eyes and tell me that man doesn't struggle

he has like…one known friend. And I don't mean Tor where he interacts,I mean friend. Other than Bree and Nick, He has William, one of the most understanding characters. And you cant tell me he found time to be a kingsmage and a student by having a social life, and he doesn't seem too broken up about it.

In addition to being argumentative, he reeks of the black and white mindset, even if he knows and is an expert in the gray, I feel like you can tell he is used on relying to if people around him or good or bad and such. Even in oath bound, while he knows all of the orders lies, when his mother questions him you can see the hesitation to call the organization he had classified as safe in his head as the opposite.

Bro takes perimeter a lot. And yes, he was trained to do so, but you cant tell me part of the reason isn't because he likes the separation from human noises, and the solidarity. Like yeah sir, go take your little sensory break I see you.

I need to reread the books, but I feel like he is put off by changes. I cant exactly pin point it though.

His heighten emotional response scream lack of understanding of his and others emotions. Its ok we gonna get you and your group in therapy

Do you hear the way this man talks?

He definitely learned to mask early on. Like this is just a fact love y'all

tell me if you want a version with actual proof and ignore all run on sentences, grammatical errors, and spelling mistakes.

[mydogatemymotivation]

Ok I don't post about Twilight but I have to write this because it's been in my brain for years and if I don't get it out of my head I'm gonna go fuckin crazy.

Jasper should've been from Kansas. I know there's some discourse somewhere about how to retcon Jasper's backstory, whether or not people should, idk I'm not really on the twilight side of the internet but I'm just saying that from the jump, Jasper should've been from Kansas.

Still a perfectly acceptable place to have a cowboy character. The wild west was anything further west than Independence, Missouri. The primary cowboy-ing, as in actual cattle ranching, was from Nebraska to Texas, so a cowboy being from Kansas absolutely works. And Kansas/Missouri had its own outlaws, too. Jesse James is the most famous example (he was confederate, fyi, people don't like to talk about that tho), the Dalton Gang was famous for their bank and train robberies and two of their members were killed in Coffeyville, Kansas. It wasn't just Arizona territory that had outlaws.

As for the Civil War, you can absolutely have a character from civil war times with a morally dubious history WITHOUT making them pro-slavery and I propose: Bleeding Kansas. It's been a while since my civil war history class, so I'm going to try to do this from memory (and very briefly), but I was living on the Kansas/Missouri state line when I was learning about this, so it stuck out in my head (also I love history and my brain kinda absorbs it like a sponge so that helps, too). During the civil war, the fighting on the Kansas/Missouri state line was particularly vicious. There was an eastern General (I don't remember who and I can't find the quote I'm so sorry) that came out west and called what was happening on the state line the "height of barbarism" and I remember that verbatim because there were rivers of blood back east and it still wasn't as bad as what was happening out west. That's fucking crazy. So Missouri came into the Union a slave state. Kansas then had to vote on how they wanted to join the Union and they were very anti-slavery and Missourians said "nah, I don't like that" and hopped the state line to commit voter fraud and Kansas entered the Union a slave state against their will. So cities across Kansas declared themselves individually free-cities. Missourians didn't like that either. Lawrence, Kansas was attacked and burned by Missourians because of this (Burning Lawrence). Guerrilla factions popped up on both side of the state line. The Jayhawkers formed in Kansas, they were anti-slavery (yay!) but also raped, pillaged, and plundered towns in Missouri (not yay). And the Bushwhackers formed in Missouri, they were pro-slavery (boo) and also attacked Kansas, raping, pillaging, and burning cities to the ground (also boo). Jasper Hale should've been a Jayhawker. If he's gonna be an 1860s cowboy, he needed to be a Jayhawker. Anti-slavery, still from the wild west, but still morally questionable because of how bad the fighting was.

Lastly, Bleeding Kansas is the best possible cover for a vampire war. The "height of barbarism"? Everything is on fucking fire and your vampires only weakness?? Is fire????? Hello????????? It baffles me to this day that Bleeding Kansas was two states north of where Jasper Hale was from and it's not even mentioned.

If you're going to write a historical book, in any capacity, you need to do some very basic historical research, because if Stephanie had just looked a little harder, she had a ready-made vampire backstory for Jasper and just didn't use it. And that haunts me because a vampire from bleeding Kansas actually sounds so cool.

[nevertheless-moving]

stormlight au number 35 (help me i'm lost in the sauce)

Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World all the way to right after Gavilar's death.

Vengeance pact still happens, but plays out very differently. We don't need absolutely every man in the kingdom to join the army, alright Elhokar? And we're making sure Dalinar is there to accept their surrender, actually win in reasonable time frame and 'conquer' them (no Alethi want to live out there anyway, and as long as they send gemhearts in tribute we won't enslave them. actually elhokar, your sister wanted to talk to you about slavery—).

Honestly, just an excuse for:

A) Adolin to have a breakdown that his entire family has been replaced by voidbringers, before eventually accepting with relief that they're still his family, they've just become voidbringers, but its ok because he loves them and will protect their increasingly heretical actions with his life. Hugs his glowing red and green eyed little brother a lot.

Adolin: do I — should I also learn to read?

Jasnah: do you want to?

Adolin: not really, no.

Renarin: to be honest, it's probably for the best if you just focus on being, well, a good Vorin Alethi. One of us probably should be, if we don't have a desolation as a distraction.

Adolin: ok! sure! I can do that. Also thought id mention that if possible, I would personally appreciate *not* having a desolation.

Jasnah: it may prove necessary.

Adolin: I know, i know. Just thought I'd put my feelings out there.

Dalinar: and we'll need you to produce Kholin heirs. Neither Renarin or Jasnah are likely to, and I'm not remarrying a younger woman.

Adolin: Sounds good!

B) Kholin family to have way too strong a reaction to this random darkeyed surgeon in training when they visit Kharbranth, scaring the absolute shit out of said darkeyed surgeon. Adolin walks into a wall when he sees Kaladin. He doesn't even know about the Radiant thing, it's just that

C) Kaladin dresses really hot in this au. Ok. I lied. this is actually the main reason for this au. It — there's a whole chain of events. I – don't look at me like that. The character development works, alright?

A lot of it boils down to distracting people from groping the female medical trainees.

He realizes that breathing in a certain way, while it makes you focus better and move faster, it also makes you more...present somehow? people pay attention to you, for better or worse. Some of the ladies teach him that there are different ways to channel people's focus on you, if they're looking anyway.

And apparently, for the first few years Kharbranth medical students, light and dark eyed alike, have basically no protections from wealthy patients or Lighteyed chief's of staff who are a bit too interested in teaching you to use your safehand, and its not like Kaladin can challenge them to a duel - he doesnt know how to fight, and it would get him and the person hes trying to protect kicked out of the program. So much for honorable lighteyes being real.

But I mean. If wearing some eyeliner, and a gemstone in your hair, if taking your right glove off first after an exam, conspicuously leaving the left on while talking, if bending over to pick his clipboard up in a certain way... if it gets people to not focus on his friends...

...one could probably get pretty angsty with this concept, ngl.

The Stormlight understanding and oaths come in time. There might also be some Radiant Disguise Superhero hijinks, havent fully decided but it's not really a major stretch from canon to say that Kharbranth struggles with violent crime. Also Kaladin gets to learn about institutional racism in school. It's great. I have a lot of Kaladin thoughts but so does everyone in this au so its ok.

Kholins visit Kharbranth:

Jasnah: you've been moping for days. Is your new fixation of the week not responding to your advances?

Adolin: I don't want to talk about it

Dalinar: son, you've clearly been in a mood—

Adolin: look, I'm not — the individual is not suitable for my station, alright? I'm not courting someone I could never actually marry, because that would be stupid.

Jasnah: while it would complicate matters, you know your brother and I have plans to alter the alethi codes around eye color, considering they're clearly a crude derivative of radiant mythologization

Dalinar: I thought we agreed that was low on the priority list

Jasnah: You said that uncle, Renarin most certainly did not agree, and his arguments are sound

Adolin: He's just some surgeon, alright! He's not just darkeyed, he's a darkeyed man. I said I'll get over it! I always do.

Dalinar: ah.

Jasnah: ...did you say surgeon?

Adolin: Yes? Why?

Dalinar: why does it —

Jasnah: how did you meet?

Adolin: He was — he was with this group of women at a winebar, and he was dressed like – but it turned out he just goes to protect them from - and it was so — why are you asking me about this?

Dalinar: Oh! A darkeyed surgeon. Protecting, you say? He sounds...honorable.

Jasnah: Very honorable.

Adolin: He is! He volunteers at this house for injured soldiers, and you wouldn't believe he'd never been to war, I mean his spear Katas — he's – it's like he was born for it —

Dalinar: He sounds like a fine young man. Perhaps you should bring him to meet us.

Adolin: I — while I appreciate that father, I really do, I thought I was the one who was supposed to well. I mean my role in...all of this is to produce heirs and look proper, right?

Jasnah: Hm. when you put it it that way...

Dalinar: I mean, Navani and I might be able to...

Jasnah: Don't be ridiculous. I'm perfectly capable of producing a child, should it prove absolutely necessary,

Adolin: Jasnah?

Jasnah: Provided the man you're courting is of worthy quality.

Adolin: We're not — I haven't been courting! I didn't think it was an option! I don't even know if he's interested! From what I can tell he has people throwing themselves at his feet all the time!

Jasnah: An abnormally honorable darkeyed surgeon, natural warrior, magnetically charismatic personality...yes that might make a worthwhile addition to the family.

Dalinar: I can write to Elhokar at once, recommend that he and Aseuden —

Jasnah: Uncle we've been over this — this is exactly the sort of thing that led to me insisting you come with me on this trip! If we cripple his ability to lead—

Adolin: Are we — are we moving into the discussing the future part of the evening, because I can go guard the door—

Dalinar: wait, when you say produce a child, you don't mean through soulcasting, right?

Jasnah: I don't see why I should answer that question.

Adolin: Yeah, i'm just going to go guard the door now

[whenishipiluxurycruiseit]

After reading some twts about how the reveal should not affect the kaishin fandom bc of how old it is and how most old shippers had the suspicion of kaishin being related and proceeded to not care and accept and even ship them more leads me to the acceptance stage and the realization stage where this is all fiction and not true thus it will not affect anyone greatly and most of us should realize this too HAHAHA

I mean i had my suspicions too ya know but like i was expecting them to be distantly related not this closely related gahdang gosho JAGDHSHS also i was kinda closing my eyes when i saw how similar toichi and yuusaku looked like when i saw them so AHDGSHS lovelies lets just think that the reveal made the ship spicer that ever

Kaishin may be cousins and what? Its fiction, this ship is old, there are even more worse ships than this, will this hurt anyone? No (unless ur really in deep like delusional deep), will this change the world? No, will this affect your daily life? No, will this change your morals? For me no, cause i know they are not real, why on earth would they change my morals.

Honestly its not just kaishin, there are a lot of ships with this kind of relationship, and other shippers must realize the fact that they are not real and no one will get hurt. If you get disturbed by the fact that we ship cousins/twins/siblings then you may close your eyes and move one to the other post, im not like validating this bc in the real and current world this may seem disturbing but everyone must know the difference between real and fiction, do not do what fiction do but you may learn what fiction do, just put it at the back of your head as an additional knowledge and the possibility that some other people might mix up fiction and real life.

Anyways so much for the monologue JAGSHS

THE REVEAL FIRED ME UP INTO MAKING ANOTHER PROMPT YEEEEY

Like im not even focusing abt how kaishin is cousins anymore but at why toichi did that to his son, what is incest compared to betrayal (not rlly cause kaito still didnt know hes alive BUT STILL THATS HIS KID??? HIS CHILD IN THE EYES OF DANGER?? AND HE LET HIS CHILD DO THAT?? BOY?)?

Like i know he protects kaito at the side (it was on magic kaito 1412 i forgot what episode) but he protects kaito with kaito experiencing trauma bc how tf how dare u use my dead dads face you traitor like that like bro??

I dont even also think that chikage knew that her husband is alive, only yuusaku (like wow cute they mustve been such close siblings but thats not the point) knows that hes alive and yuusaku probs only also knows cause hes yuusaku and yuusaku knows everything in just once glance for some weird ass reason

ANYWAYS SO

My prompt is that (please know that some of the characters are ooc!!! Esp the parents cause they dont show much wth JAGDHSH also ill put in a oc for plot purposes WAHSGAHSGA)

Shinichi, still as conan, was in a pinch and was suddenly saved by a mysterious guy. Whom he thought was like akai san but he sensed someone different like.. KID? No.. dad??

Toichi who saw a kid who looked like his nephew when he was a child is being chased by men in black (who suspiciously looked like snake for some reason but snake doesnt wear shades in the dark cause thats a foolish move) decided to help him and lose the pursuers off his back

“Boya are you ok?” “…..(hmm? What is this feeling.. i feel like i’ve met him somewhere but..)” “boya?” “Ah! Un! Thank you uncle!”

Toichi suddenly thought of shinichi when he heard conans voice saying uncle, it sounds just like 10 yrs ago when he visited yuusakus house to teach yukiko the art of disguise

Toichi then took conan to his guardians when he found out that his parents was in america apparently (1) and he also found out that his guardians were the mouris (2) which was 2 points of suspicion which wasnt that bad but just weird cause why didnt his younger brother tell anything, not that that shit tells him anything at all. Adding to the fact that he has not seen his attention loving smart nephew in the news for a while now then pops out a child that looks like him makes the suspicion highly likely. (Their family kinda has a knack for attracting dangerous orgs, from what he seen to himself and his son, he just hopes his younger brother and nephew didnt get it (which was highly unlikely now too))

Consider his suspicions correct when his younger brother decides to okay dumb (he knows ok, theyre twins for a reason and hes a older brother for a reason) the problem now was which shady org was it and how much does his nephew and younger brother know….

2 weeks later he found out

Apparently he wasnt the only one suspicious of someone

His, (knew it), dear shrunken nephew was too! Bc of one comment from mouri kun (have we met somewhere before?) and his suspicions were proven right when he saw yuusakus phone lying around with his message on the notif screen

(Toichis so proud, thats my nephew, be nosy kid you will go far in life)(it made his nephew cute too 🥰)

and color him suprised when his nephew has a shady org at his back too (he was kinda hoping that his nephew only stumbled on the scene of the crime that was he was chased not being a victim himself sighs the family curse)

and toichi and his nephew (whom just found out they were related with the first kaitou kid, who was supposed to be dead) made an alliance! (it kinda feels good to not only have one person know about your secrets, it also makes him relieved that his nephew has a lot of trusted people at his back other than some bigass shady org)

it also makes toichi happy that his son could be himself (not just kaitou kid but really being kaito his son whom he left with his wife toprotecttonotpullintothismessbutthey-) with his cousin

his son was inlove with his cousin

oh shit

yuusaku why did we not let them meet again

how he found out? he got the front seat

with snake

but does that really matter

(is akai kun included when hes so far away from the build the confession was happening)

(akai kun just shoot snake pls)

then it all went to shit (from his perspective cause wdym kaito did not even notice snake was there so its ok uncle shinichi kun did u also not notice my mental breakdown too)

they apprehended snake, and found out he was just some lackey in the black org and wanted to be the same lvl as gin so hes chasing after some immortality granting stone (yea hes not gonna be on the same lvl as gin hes stupid says his dear cutified nephew)

he told his younger brother about the confession

his younger brother knew all along ever since he caught kaito sneaking in their house to leave a jewel that he stole and saw him caress shinichis face.. yuusaku told him with the face of did u really not see that coming, we never let them meet when they were old enough to remember.

like valid? but at least share the tea gahdang

yukiko also knows? brother? i thought bros before hoes? (he nearly got mauled to death by his mystery loving younger brother, bc how dare you call my wife a hoe? ur the hoe u *spits real talk that hurts*)

after yuusaku hurt him internally he has come to the fact that yea he was worse than his son.. (also who can blame him, shinichi kun has yukikos genes (not that his darling wife is any less beautiful than yukiko, his wifes beauty came from being reckless and he likes that in his woman sighs i miss my wife) and their reckless genes so, with his wifes beautiful and shiny loving gene with his reckless loving gene, shinichi, conan, his nephew was the perfect person for his son. not ignoring the fact that shinichi kun is also a very understanding person. his nephew grew a lot (internally cause well.. he shrunk physically))

and now shinichi is looking at him weirdly

no way

did he not hear his sons confession

"shin kun... what did you think about what my son said to you?" "hm? ah that chase?... isnt it just a chase? oh im sorry uncle if i hurt kaito, it was needed to make it look convincing haha, i dont plan on capturing him rn dw!" "... oh! its ok shin kun ^^"

it was not okay, how does his nephew not notice his sons confession to him? (his son was a child of two phantom thieves, making a heist even grander than it already is shows that his son is courting his nephew SO HOW TF- oh, oh yuusaku just told him that every heist shinichi went to was always that grand so he might not see the difference? oh. oh my gosh.)

how to break this to his son who thought his father was dead

yuusaku just smiled (useless asshole, just bc hes still close to his son even though his son is in another identity now and can still pretend to be his new sons identities father bc of the disguising art that toUICHI HIMSELF TAUGHT HIM)

shinichi kun said to wait till evrything was over, or wait till the black org is down cause he will help explain too cause he hid it too after knowing his undeadness (at least his nephew was helpful, might be yukikos gene)

"you know, ever since i met kaitou kid, i knew that i might need his help to bring this org down, but i never knew that it would be the first kaitou kid that will help me hehe"

his nephew is so cute (yep its yukikos genes, yuusaku could never be like that anymore, still regrets the day where he showed off to his younger brother his magician skills)

the org was brought down but the antidote for shinchis problem still hasnt been made but time is an essence they need to reveal the truth to his family now or it might get worse

family reunion time! :DDDDDDDDD

shinichi went to get his son and wife while he and his younger brother prepares his execution letter

(if u wanna know how shinichi went to get kaito and chikage pls comment! ill write it up on the other post)

"yukiko chan can u-" "nope"

"yuusaku istg id u dont help me we're twins for a reason if i die you die too" "fk u" (helps him)

then it all went to shit (pt 2) (shinichi kun can see it now too, toichi thinks even hakase next door can feel it)

his son did not walk out bc of shinichi kun ("kaito, listen to you father please, you know my situation, its kind of the same but in your fathers case, you are ran" "at least you were close to her!" "does it really matter when all she saw was conan not shinichi?" "but-!" "kaito, the woman i love is slipping before my eyes because i cant go to her like before now! everytime i go back to my body temporarily all i think about is how she will get hurt if the organization realizes i was one of the victims they failed to kill and will go after her and her family and friends! there are numerous people in the org who already knew about my real identity, they mightve been killed or decided to not tell about it but there is no saying they might decide to not do the opposite!"

[stargleam-star]

My thoughts on Star, and A Starless Clan as a whole:

Spoilers ahead for A Starless clan amd a bit of Ivypool's Heart if it wasn't obvious. Time for me to go on a rant! It's gonna feature me mostly gushing about Frostpaw because she's the only character with enough substance to talk in length about. But I've got other things to talk about too I guess. Lets get into it:

As usual, Frostpaw was the best character of the book and honestly the most relatable. She kept Going Through It until basically the very end and I felt so bad for her.

What I am glad about though is that she got the killing blow on Splashtail! Fuck yeah that's my baby girl <3

But he did get a hit in on her before the end and left her basically comatose which was tragic. Reading Frostpaw drift in and out of consciousness and what she saw while knocked out was really cool tho. I especially liked that she got to have deeper conversations with Curlfeather. She wanted so desperately for her mother to admit fault, to show some remose for her actions. Instead Curlfeather kept focusing on how Splashtail ruined her plans, and how he's to blame. All she wanted to do was protect Frostpaw and Riverclan. There wasn't the slightest bit of remorse at all. It was so tragic reading Frostpaw wishing her mother would hold herself accountable. It really hit home with me. In the end, Curlfeather couldn't face the truth and left Frostpaw behind to conclude her mother wasn't a good person and learn to accept that so she could move on. Heartwrenching stuff imo

I got really sad when Frostpaw started taking a turn for the worse and finally got to see Starclan. She got to meet her dad and was so happy, he made her realize that she needs to focus on herself and her happiness instead of worrying about everyone else's needs. Nobody understands how fucking Relatable that is to me. Nobody come near me rn.

Frostpaw wanted so badly to finally give up and be at peace. She wanted to be happy and relax, and to help in other ways. As much as that would have crushed me for her arc to conclude with her death, it really did feel like a good end for her. She would have done so well as a Starclan messenger. She deserves the rest. Sadly the narrative didn't want that to be the end of her, so she got to come back. Hooray /s

I like the medicine cat name she was given! Frostdawn is pretty (although I am lowkey disappointed she wasn't named Frostfeather, and that's not because I wanted her sharing a name with Curlfeather. I've got an oc named Frostfeather and it would have been amazing for a canon POV character to have that name too. Alas).

I'm also going crazy over the fact that her and Whistlepaw (now Whistlebreeze) got named together. I love these two lesbians so much its insane. The speech Frostpaw gave Whistlebreeze about being a good medicine cat and how grateful she was to have been saved by her? I'm planning their wedding as we speak

Frostdawn ended up choosing Icewing as Riverclan's leader, which was the obvious choice from the start imo. Also very predictable but what do I expect from a series written for 6th graders? I'm still salty as hell we got to see her leader ceremony but never Squirrelstar's.

I find it weird that Icewing was against Frostpaw in the beginning of Wind but then came around to "omg you were right" because Splashtail got mean. It was kind ooc for her, but then again she stopped having a bigger role during that book up until the end of Star.

Why tf was Icewing's voice the loudest that Frostpaw heard when cats started singing to bring her back to life? Also how tf were regular warriors able to sing to reach Frostpaw's spirit? I get that Tree was with them, and Icewing had spent a few days with The Sisters in Ivypool's super edition, but it doesn't explain how they were able to get that power. Also it was "all the she-cats that love [Frostpaw]" which included cats such as Duskfur and Mothwing who'd been mean to her throughout a good chunk of the arc... ok. Anyways.

All of A Starless Clan should have been soley in Frostdawn's point of view. Nightheart and Sunbeam barely brought anything to the table

Might as well talk about them. I like how Nightheart's character arc finished. He wasn't a jerk by the end and started being more respectful. His POV felt pointless most of the time, but I liked getting a glimpse of the inside of Riverclan during the height of Splashtail's reign (more on that soon)

Sunbeam's POV was completely unnecessary. While I liked that we got deeper thoughts on Berryheart as a result of Sunbeam, I don't think we really needed it for the story. I don't even think the way things wrapped up between them was good.

I'm gonna talk about Berryheart now because she's more interesting. I've come to the conclusion that the Erins dropped the ball with her as a villan. By the end, she was nothing more than a traitor in every single way. She was untrustworthy and I cheered when she died. She should have died 3 books ago if she wasn't gonna do anything worthwhile. No her trying to get Shadowclan on her side to let her be leader in the end qhike trying to convice them to rise up against Riverclan was not good. It was stupid as hell, almost as stupid as her joining Riverclan and becoming its deputy

I'm gonna talk about Splashtail but there's not a lot to say that I haven't already (but I will repeat myself). It felt like the Erins were trying to remake Tigerclawstar and his villan arc with Splashtail. Think about it. Ambitious, broad shouldered, dark brown tabby tom, who conspired with cats from another clan to kill their leader in order to gain power for themself? Check. A merger of Shadowclan and Riverclan? Check. Evil cat wanting to rule all the clans? Check. A deputy slain for having a different opinion? Check that off too.

As stated before the only differences between Tigerclawstar and Splashtail was that Splashtail was a lazy coward, Tigerstar actually belived in Starclan and its strength, and Splashtail had none of the charm or support that Tigerclawstar had. Also Splashtail had to resort to threatening the life of kits to get cats to do what he wanted, while Tigerclan followed Tigerclawstar's rule because he was formidable and had cats in it who truly believed in him and his vision for the future

Splashtail was written to be so cartoonishly evil and it was a sad thing to read. I'm glad Frostpaw got to kill him, and I loved how he was tormented until the end by Curlfeather's demon spirit.

I didn't like how they implied Splashtail might be the way he was due to mental illness though. I'm probably gonna get hate for saying that, lol. But in the last book they wrote him to seem like s psychopath, as well as implied him to be schizophrenic because he was talking to someone that wasn't visible (even though he was actually seeing a real dead person. But nobody but Splashtail and the audience got to know that). They literally called him crazy throughout the last book, the entire time. And idk it just felt like they were villifying mental illness a bit as a result. Again I'm probably reading into it too much, don't come at me please

The leaders were not as impactful in Star as I'd hoped. But at least they acted and fought together in the end. I loved that the leaders actually participated in the battles to liberated Riverclan instead of only sending warriors to do it. I love seeing leaders fighting for the good of their clan and putting their lives on the line (that's what their 9 lives are for. Looking at you Brambleclaw)

I didn't like that sone of Riverclan's cats were trying to join Thunderclan near the end of Star and I liked how Squirrelstar acknowledged that they had too many warriors as itwas, and how they had to expand the warrior's den in the past because of it. Wish the Erins would do something about all those cats

99% of Thunderclan was not mentioned at all this book, including the elders + Brambleclaw from what I read (I might've skimmed iver smth tho idk) but there was mention of cats like Myrtlebloom and fucking Eagletail for sone reason (is that their name? I can't remember). Tell me why any of these cats are alive if they're not worth mentioning while we have a camp scene? At least I got to see my girl Daisy <3

A Starless Clan had so much potential and the writing and mystery in the beginning were really good. I just wish they'd kept it up throughout.

Star felt like a flat finish and while I liked the way Frostpaw's chapters concluded and the whole main plot of Riverclan without a leader, I hate that the book ended on a Nightheart chapter and that the last like was about how he "could be brave and loyal no matter what his name was." Like that was a really dumb final chapter of the arc, a genuinely novice choice. It ruined the arc conclusion for me. Frostdawn's chapter should have been last

OverallI I will give Star a 3/10, and A Starless Clan 5/10 stars. It could have been great. But then, it wouldn't be Warriors would it?

[cosmicseapop]

Me gushing about dark birthday events (mainly pt 3)

man, I love when stories start off with something out of left field and then refuse to elaborate of it until later, and by then I’m invested. Start off with the hero wanting Atlas wiped off the face of the earth and you slowly start going ‘yea this place should be burned to the ground’, french kiss

Also love stories that take inspirations from myths, because ya know it going to be satisfying to watch the downfall

the temp items description have been fun to use as writing prompts for Esther and Dage’s interactions :D

Love the fact that Dage and Slaine test the hero’s resolve in Atlas’s slaughter and them immediately doubling down on it

Also accurate ES!Esther depiction and a bit of AoR Esther when she drops the hero act

Yara and Slaine’s interactions

Firstly, love that older Npcs are getting brought back and having character development

Narrative foils that contrasty talk shit together 

Imagine this, the hero’s mind space. They’re the one at the wheel, trying not to fall asleep. The Beast is just there, watching the destruction while eating popcorn. And Dage is rummaging through the hero’s memories while giving his two cents to keep them awake

And the Endless is like a sleep paralysis demon thats is slowly manifesting in the corner

Side note, the amount of trust in the hero to just be ok with the idea them looking at his memories without asking is sweet

the hero, forcibly shoving anything related to Malgor and their other kids in to a lockbox, shallowing the key, and throwing the box into the ocean: what family? I definitely don’t have a family, nope

Now the question is it because they’re actively avoiding think about Malgor, taking Drakath threat of killing anyone who learns truth seriously, or a mix of both. Who knows

Maleagant being the one to give Zedek shit for how he used his kids was great

new dragon form 

Edot is an eevee (no you cant change my mind)

Also the design is fucking sick

It kinda gives an explanation to why EDoT was purple in the timeline where they killed the QoM, if they somehow aligned their being with Chaos

the absolute trust between Dage and the hero 

The hero’s trust in dage to decline divinity 

Dage’s trust in the hero to lead the legion 

Also dage’s genuine concern for the hero 

the ritual sacrifices bit

I really hope this doest come back as a thing that the Jus Divinum uses to literally use the hero as a weapon against Evil or whatever their end goal is

I really hope this doesn’t come back at all, but its gonna and I hate it

Side note, love that the hero points out that Miseru and the others could have literally asked for their kids back or their souls healed and it would have been granted, but instead they used the chance to have a kingdom wiped off the face of Lore (which was understandable given everything, but damn does that has to cut deep)

I know the hero got a pass from OWO to destroy Atlas mostly due to Tranquility demanding it, but I wonder if it's also in part due to the ritual sacrifice. Like, would they have held the hero responsible for their actions knowing they were bond to razing it to the ground? Would it be an instant that they would have tasked the hero with hunting down people with the knowledge of the ritual after the fact? Or would they have just voted to Silence them to avoid anyone else binding a god to do their bidding?

the gap in memory the hero has from the ritual

Looking back on the dialogue from the hero, it sounded like it was a completely different being from Dage and the Hero (at least after the first cutscene). They had even refer to the Eternal like they weren’t the same person in part 3

And the ■■■■■ dialogue kinda confirms it

My take is that ■■■■■ was the Endless, but the Endless from the future where Dage accepted divinity and was at the end of eternity where they ended up alone, and he was just hearing the future. 

the bit about Sparagmos

Im reading it as the hero knew actually what they could have become with the Endless and wanted to cripple themselves in case they continued as the Endless and needed to be Silenced while they were still themselves

The divinity eye thing 

I have thoughts, but theres not enough to put into words atm other than ‘hey, that’s kinda concerning that its the same eye motif that the avatars get when stepping foot on Lore and might be the thing that distracted OWO at the end of RoCT’ and ‘the eye from the title card that’s sudden sus now’

Maya

Say it ain't so 

I thought the spy would be Richard since he’s insists on intercepting Hans’s letters to Victoria and the armor he’s wearing I think is Jus Divinum theme

I really hope its not Maya, she was my favorite npc from the earlier game

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/753405110589259776/note-spoilers-on-this-ask-for-anyone-who-hasnt

I’m this anon, and using your anon box to reply to a bad take in the reblogs of it lol.

1. aO3 treats the show and book series as separate fandoms for Bridgerton. My friend’s genderbend fic though is based on the books — thought I made that clear here. And yes book fans were being genuinely homophobic in her comments, not just her interpreting them not shipping it as “homophobia.” It was full of “get out of OUR tag” and claiming just writing a female character in a male version or shipping her male love interest with a guy was “misogyny,” exactly as I said. It’s a huge problem in the fandom. The main Reddit sub is so full of homophobia that queer fans had to spin out a separate inclusive sub called r/bridgertonlgbt. I’ve heard of people on TikTok being called “bourgeois degenerate” and “groomer” just for questioning why it’s supposedly such a dramatic and horrible change to make Michael into Michaela in the show.

2. Can we finally fucking retire the really tired, knee jerk “book is always better” attitude that has never been universally true anyway lol. The books Bridgerton are based on are pretty middling het histrom that repeat plots so much between them that that’s one of the big changes the show has had to make — just not have seasons 1 and 2 follow the same plot beats like books 1 and 2 did. The show has had to make a lot of changes just because it has a bigger audience than your average het histrom reader and while I haven’t loved every shift, it is overall better for it. Or just like, focusing on more than just each season’s main couple like the books only do — also better! The subplots are some of the most fun parts of that show, but also, it makes sense that people are going to continue to want to follow their favs from season to season and not just zero in on each couple. Yes I’ve read all the books. They simply are just not that great, TV is a different medium than books anyway and so certain changes are necessary, and frankly most of the loudest parts of the “book fandom” online who complain about the changes are people who read the books because of the show anyway. They’re all wildly inconsistent in what they consider acceptable changes: they’re largely on board with making the universally white books more racially diverse, but not adding queerness and gender diversity. Why is one ok but not another? Especially when a lot of them are ok with sad or bittersweet queer stories in subplots like Brimsley’s but not happy stories for main characters. Why is that, I wonder? A lot of people are pretending to be “book snobs” as a mask for bigotry, or just have bad taste, but regardless I think we need to get over the idea that stalwart defense of some mediocre and overly tropey romance novels is more elevated or intellectual and like the show isn’t an improvement in being less lazy about the cliches of that genre than the original author. (Seriously, I read a lot of romance novels, so this is not a knock on the genre as a whole or its readers — but the Bridgerton books are SO lazy and SO repetitive. Honestly I think a lot of the book defenders need to read more histrom themselves. Then maybe they’d see how weak and lazy those books can be compared to what else is out there.)

Fandom please learn basic things about how adaptation between different mediums works 2k24 also stop assuming that consuming a story in text form over another is an inherently intellectual activity

--

A pretentious friend of mine who loves Shonda Rhimes was going on at me a while ago about how she ~always reads the book first~ and then waiting for applause as if that's unusual!

She then tried to launch into how shocked she was by the books being... well, lowbrow trash, but she had some complex and boring way of explaining this.

I was like "Honey, you do know what a regency romance novel is, right? Right?!"

I mean, there are adaptations that are nearly exactly like the middle tier of romance novels. They're movie length and they air on Lifetime. This was a change not only of medium but of overall target audience and vibe.

[bullet-prooflove]

As an asexual person I 100% agree to the two previous anons. I mean I don't mind smut at all since I do read a lot of it when I'm trying to get myself off but a relationship is not about sex itself. There are always so many layers to it and besides... if a relationship won't survive without sex are you truly with the right person?

I agree with you entirely. I understand why sex is important, it’s a physical expression of love and there’s an intimacy you get there that you simply can’t get from anywhere else. However, its not the be all and end all of a relationship, you can thrive without it.

I think it’s important to reflect on why sex is important to you, and what you get from it and what you’re not getting from it. People don’t like that level of self-reflection because its often very revealing but it can be very freeing for you and your partner.

The problem I have with sex in the fictional landscape in fanfic and outside of fanfic are what are readers taking away from that scene and the lack of consideration people put into the messages they’re sending for money or kudos.

A big issue currently in the literary landscape is that young women are getting hold of books/fics with domineering, possessive male characters who have humiliating, degrading sex with women that mimics stuff that that’s been generated in porn. So before they’ve even had an actual relationship of they’re own they are taught that these kind of relationships are normal so when they happen in the real world, they don’t get the red flags that go… wait that’s not ok. 

I mentioned in my fic The Porn Boom that there’s a whole generation of men who learned to fuck through what they see in porn, that stuff is what a lot of the above books mimics.

It feeds into men treating women shitty because that’s what they’ve learned and women accepting it because that’s also what they’ve learned. It’s a vicious cycle and that’s what we’re teaching young men and in women.

If you’re an adult who has had relationships and understands dynamics these books/fics are great because they can be a way of exploring kink or adding something new and exciting into the relationship.

Now we can’t monitor what fics/books people read, especially teens/young women however we can tailor the message we send, that fun kinky shit like this occurs in loving consensual relationships.

The problem: The writers I’m talking about don’t show that. It’s more about people getting ploughed for the sake of getting ploughed and while that’s great to get off to, how about the young woman who know thinks that it’s fine to let her boyfriend get rough with her, because she’s read that fic/book. People like this won’t accept they are part of the problem because of the likes/money that is coming in through their work – but in reality they are and the way to change that is think of it as a relationship and showcase that, tell us why so and so needs that in that moment. The issue is they won’t because it requires more effort than they want to put in because again they are chasing likes/the money.

By saying it’s not my responsibility is being complicit.

A lot of people may not have thought of this on any scale because they’re just writing their stuff and that’s fine but for me who sees the fallout from it through the cases my husband reports or the work I did with kids in care. It is a massive problem that is only going to get worse.

Sorry for such a long one but since we were discussing the layers and sex I thought this was important to bring up. It's something both me and @the-hinky-panda talk about alot.

[damnhitsuzen]

I am jumping so hard between everything will be alright and Watanuki will not to anything crazy and guess he'll go back in time far enough to become Clow Reed. (also what are the chances it was Yuuko who either made the book or had it made for this purpose?) The inherent tragedy of two people who want the other to live so much but one hasn't technically existed for a long time and the other wouldn't exist without her dying and then her doing the most to help him become real. Truly the most characters of all time

ok, first of all - I have not read Clear Card arc yet and I have no idea what happens there. The thing is, I have a fic with some time travel started and I don't want to get it influenced by any new lore (I have a feeling that Clear Card might have retconned previous worldbuilding yet AGAIN). So I decided to not get too deep into Rei before I finish the fic and read CC (which is soon I hope)

BUT I might have had a bit of Clow Reed - Watanuki meta brewing in my head for some time, waiting to be dumped on unsuspecting passerby (sorry) I think the main reason why Watanuki would not become Clow at any point of his life is that Watanuki is an anti-Clow. A post-Clow, one might say.

When I was in school, we had this old-timey soviet relic of task that was called "A Work on Mistakes". A teacher would write over your homework with red ink, circling over mistakes without explaining them. Then, you had to write an explanation, to work on mistakes: to each circled zone, you had to give explanation why it was a mistake, find a relevant rule or exception, and write the correct answer. Tedious, humiliating experience that served me just about now as a metaphor. I believe that Watanuki cannot be a future Clow, because he is a universe's work on mistakes in Clow. Here are the most crucial of those mistakes, in three parts - death, women and agency, and magic.

PART 1. Death.

We do not know much about Clow's perception of death apart from a couple of facts: - his lifespan was very long due to ungodly amounts of magic - he was surrounded by ageless immortal magical beings he himself created as companions - a love of his life also should have had a long-ass lifespan but died suddenly, triggering a reaction so visceral, Clow straight up fumbled the universe - he got to plan his own death and decide when it happens in smallest details. Should I say that none of those tell us a story of healthy perception of death and its inevitability? They tell a story of isolated guy, who has vast amounts of magic that allow him to seem outside of death's reach - for both himself and those he loves. And even his own death is a choice - a decision of usefulness and efficiency, rather than a lesson from laws of universe. On the other hand, we have Watanuki - a boy, drenched in death and its ruthlessness from the moment he comes into existence. The beautiful and sad thing in Watanuki that he doesn't need to learn any lessons about death. He doesn't come to acceptance of inevitability because understanding death is his core, built-in characteristic. As if he was created in a way that makes Clow mistakes impossible. Watanuki holds a dead cat and laments not its death, but loneliness of the moment (and holds a FREAKING CORPSE OF A CAT tenderly, so it won't be lonely); he comforts a child murder victim sweetly so she could move on (this is a moment I fell in love with Watanuki as character btw); usually, he gets angry not about the fact of death, but at pain or loneliness or injustice that may come with it. Again and again, we see how Watanuki is forced to face death and accept it. But instead of hating the way it follows him, he goes out of his way to make the passing for others as gentle, warm, painless, and not lonely as possible. Then, death takes its two biggest swings at Watanuki: Yuuko's death and his own inability to die. With Yuuko. it's like universe takes its precautions: Watanuki is literally immobilised. This way, a man with Clow Reed's face an his blood has to do something that Clow was unable to do - to watch Yuuko die and do nothing. Something that Tsubasa is unable to do with his Sakura. It's like Watanuki has to take one for other Reed men - accept a death of beloved and closes the cycle of rewinds. Thus, I see no viable way to make him into Clow without completely destroying the conclusion of THREE stories - TRC, CCS, and xxxHolic itself. Also, while Clow has agency to plan his death, Watanuki loses the agency to die by paying his part of price. It's like he has to accept inevitability even in that. "Everybody dies", Watanuki repeats the tagline with not sadness, but hope that he will be able to as well. By the time Watanuki has finally paid his price, he probably sees death as his oldest companion - a gift he might be given, a last way to connect with people he loves. Once again, Watanuki has to be humbled where Clow was allowed to cheat.

I will continue a bit later, I wanted to write this a long time ago. If CLAMP make a fool of me in Rei, so be it. But I will stay on my point that Watanuki should never be Clow.

[sparklyshakespeare]

the case for hyper-femme hotspur

this is my tumblr blog and this is like kind of just what we do heresies

OK so basically okay so

first of all i think anytime there is a character who is so strongly associated with an extreme form of gender expression in our collective zeitgeist (i.e hotspur and hyper-masculinity) there’s something not only extremely fun to play with but incredibly valuable about analyzing the story from the opposite end of the gender performance specturm. also canonically there are like 3 female characters in 1h4 and that sucks. also also don’t you want to see hotspur in pink glitter? i know i do and this tumblr is not a democracy!!

in this hypothetical dream sparkly version of the play, both hotspur and worcester would be women. not played by women, i mean textually explicitly women. this is important!! 

worcester should be very nancy pelosi hillary clinton-esque in the way that this is a middle-aged woman who has been taught that to be successful in her field (politics) she will have to strip herself of most of her femininity and perform a certain level of masculinity in order to be taken seriously. this creates a whole other layer to the hotspur/worcester dynamic when all of a sudden this young, hyper-feminine woman is being taken more seriously and being given more praise than someone who has worked and fought through the bullshit and done it all “right”. she hasn’t earned her place, she hasn’t had to struggle - and worcester resents her for that. (there’s like a whole dissertation to be written about how much of 1h4 changes when only worcester is genderbent, i love you queen worcester you are everything not in this version here you kind of suck lowkey)

henry iv is just a misogynist he just kinda sucks but like this is something we all knew screw that guy

ok now we can talk about hal because i know hes like the one all you little gay people care about. 

to me, it’s never made sense why the Henriad is framed as hal’s hero’s journey. maybe it’s because i’m queer (i’m like actually positive that’s why), but leaving home and finding acceptance and family from a group of outsiders who society has deemed as worthless is the path i’ve watched so many friends walk. having to leave that and return to your shitty dad because “duty calls!” and THEN leaving behind and disavowing the same community that opened its arms to you? i don’t see that as an awesome coming-of-age about learning how to handle responsibility, that’s deeply, deeply tragic. and far farrrrr too true a reality for most members of our LGBTQ+ community here (Bible Belt). SO guess where this version of 1h4 is set!!!!!! anyways, its the Medieval Revival of the ‘70s in the Bible Belt south, the Boar’s Head is a gay bar, and hal is trans. 

hal is trans-masc in some way and this needs to be incredibly explicit (like pronouns pin with trans flag on costume explicit). and then when the news breaks, when “I’ll to the court in the morning.” (we’re cutting the text so this is where that scene ends. cool? cool. cool!), hal takes the pin off. it needs to be like A Moment. it should make me cry, and i cry really easily so that’ll probably be pretty easy to do, but this is a gut punch. 

oh and lady percy is still a woman, they’re gay, because i said so. blah blah blah because look hotspur and hal really were so alike all along and look hotspur is fighting so voraciously because she’s hungry for a world where she can openly and unabashedly be with the person she loves but ultimately because i love lady percy and i love lesbians and this play doesn’t need another man. but also because look hotspur is fighting so voraciously because she’s hungry for a world where she can openly and unabashedly be with the person she loves. worcester and vernon should also both be women and have the blossoming of a relationship but be a lot more discreet about it (worcester should be extremely hesitant). now we get a cool split between younger and older generations of activists in both the feminist and the gay rights movement oooo themes oooo motifs oooo lady gagita 

as far as hal/hotspur parallels go, it’s probably pretty obvious at this point. your dad constantly praising someone who represents, at least in his mind, the ideal concept of a woman, disappointed you can’t be more like her, all the while you’re coming to terms with the fact that you’re not a woman, but he’ll never see that, so what the fuck are you supposed to do?!? it’s a LOT! but i think there’s also something to be said about the less obvious parallel. which is that hyper-femininity is NOT an attempt at ideal polite womanhood or self-Stepfordization, hyper-femininity is in fact the extreme performance of womanhood in rejection of that. hyper-femininity is queer in nature (also hotspur quite literally has a wife but i guess hal wouldn’t be able to tell that just by looking at her) there’s something to be said about the moment hal and hotspur see each other, and then the moment hal and hotspur seeeeeee each other. and go hey, you’re just like me. this person who you’ve been constantly compared to and made out to be lesser than  because you dare to be deeply wildly madly truly you is in fact exactly the same. we’re the same. and oh my god, in another world wouldn’t it have been lovely to just like go dancing together? sucks it’s not another world now we’re going to gay fight each other i guess

[circlejourney]

Owl House thoughts up to season 1 episode 13 (be warned that the front half is mostly negative):

OK, the episodic format has gone from just bearable to testing belief in some recent episodes. I've never been a huge fan of the episodic format because the constraints of wrapping up an entire 3 act plotline every episode can force some bizarrely rapid turns in the plot that then fail to have any immediate impact on the characters' relationships with the world. like. King writing a novel in a day, landing a book deal and shipping the book to stores the next day, hammering out a second book that same day, being told to rewrite it, and then Luz writing a whole book by the next day? And then it all gets cleaned up by the end? Even with magic, I Cannot stretch my willing suspension of disbelief into any configuration that will accept this as consistent with any reality, so I have chosen to pretend that that episode did not happen, other than the concurrent side plot about Lilith and Eda.

Related: the fact that a long-upheld rule that every student in Hexside is allowed just one magic track, a by-product of conforming with regulations in the name of funding, the rule that the show got us invested in as a structural challenge in an earlier episode, simply...vanished after one (1) battle. It's not that I like the rule (I don't) but that its removal was so easy that I have to wonder what having it there even did for the story in the first place. It's a cheap source of tension if it is only relevant in 2 episodes and then vanishes the third time it's mentioned. I get it, it was catalysed by a genuinely life-threatening situation. But in terms of pacing, it took. One Episode. another coin in a "YA shows shouldn't be held to the episodic standards of children's series" jar and also I hope they at least go into depth about the repercussions of the principal just. getting rid of the rule after a group of students did 1 badass thing.

Anyway had to get that out of my system first. I am of course delighted that there is more Amity, and it looks like my vibes about her were spot on. She clearly has something to prove and doesn't think just doing well is enough; her sense of worth / skill is reliant on her being uplifted above others around her and this seems tied to the unrelenting standards of her siblings (whom I Really dislike by the way, because they remind me of people I knew when I was younger). It brings me great joy to see a character who was previously hostile to another character gradually warm up to them while still holding onto some reservations or having that change of heart tested

God I love that Amity makes dorky doodles of herself as a self insert in stories she likes. and other assorted indulgences. the way that Amity's onscreen presence is contrasted with these written/drawn windows in her psyche are one of my favourite storytelling things about the series so far. that said I really hope Luz stops taking Amity's stuff and peeking at her books without asking

So, it is confirmed that magic skill: is to some degree innate and reliant on the body of the caster (i.e. the magic sac thing wasn't just something Eda 100% made up even if I'm still doubting it purely on topological grounds), can be honed to be stronger and/or more finely controlled, and can be boosted by casting aids (which absolutely love as a worldbuilding element). Feels like learning to ride a bike.

Luz's way of doing magic is inherently very appealing and I like that the show recently made the connection that these sigils are inherent to the primordial form of magic, and that reproducing the symbols also channels the same power. this idea that there are "true symbols" reminds me of the true names in Earthsea by which one can gain power over the thing being named.

so then...how was this form of casting lost? I have to believe that the symbol that Luz sees in the snowflake is not actually quite so prominent and obvious, nor do they last quite that long (i.e. it is a concession to clarity in the animation) and it takes careful observation and patience to elucidate them. which Luz needs to hone. IS THIS GOING TO BECOME THEMATIC TO HER CHARACTER ARC I hope it does.

giant dead creatures plot relevant confirmed ?? I want to know if some of these things are related: lots of giants dying in this area, bat queen being separated from her giant's staff, the fact that humans haven't been in this world for thousands of years (to the point where it's seemingly become a quasi-archaeological thing), the fact that magic casting via symbols has not been regularly performed in thousands of years...I think artistically speaking this is my favourite thing about the show so far - the sense of history brewing beneath everything - and this is why the episodic throwaway plots bother me so much

The emperor is obsessed with things that make him younger / extend life? how old is the emperor actually, surely the fact that he was seeking a flower of immortality wasn't just some throwaway detail...

I am so here for Hooty and King's friendship. thank goodness for Hooty

[oceancee]

I’m not sorry for loving you…

Summary: Jazmin was the top of her class in school. She always lived up to her parents expectations so when she eventually became a brain surgeon she couldn’t disappoint her parents, but what happens when her boss is a perv and she refuses to satisfy him?

Warnings:

NSFW, Abuse (physical and mental), sexual assault, abuse of power, manipulation, porn with plot, fingering, degradation, nicknames (sweetheart, princess, good girl and brat, my dear, jazzi)

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Chapter 1

‘I love you’

‘Love is a word that you’ve learned to use carelessly, you’ve forgotten to put meaning to the word.’

‘So then, teach me….’

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I don’t remember much about my childhood, the only few things I can remember are the happy, cheesy memories starring the main character of my comfort, my grandfather but he’s dead now. It was hard to accept (I still haven’t gotten over it completely).

All my life all I’ve wanted was to appease my parents for their own happiness as their happiness is mine. They wanted me to go to the grammar school near my house, it was never my dream but eventually it became mine. I didn’t mind it but after all the shit that happened there I wish I had failed the test and gone somewhere else, but that’s not relevant right now as I’ve only activated all the things I have due to me switching to a ‘prestigious’ private school as my parents who remind me every chance they got.

When I first joined the school I was in the bottom sets for all the important subjects that my parents cared about. Every evening as we sat down for dinner, the same conversation that wormed its way into our dinner.

“Jazmin.”

“Yeah?” I’d try to act oblivious to the fact that my parents were sharing the same look they always do before they interrogate me for why I’m not in top set for all my classes, despite me being at the top of my class in my last school.

“Have you been studying and paying attention in class?” The same look would infect my fathers eyes, I always hated the look. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him.

“Yes I have, why?”

“Me and your mother have been wondering if this school is good enough for you” they took a moment to side eye each other and then turned their attention to me.

“Have you gotten any updates on whether you’re moving up next term?”

“No, I haven’t but is that really important?” They were both about to say something but I was quick to interrupt them.

“For once why can’t we just sit down and eat dinner together like a normal family does without it being about how well I’m doing in school?”

I didn’t want to ever make my parents feel like their sacrifices they made for me weren’t ever enough, because they were more than enough. I hated to see them overworked, tired, stressed and disappointed by my ‘lack’ of effort in my school life.

The disappointed look my mother gave me as my father stood up and stormed off.

“We only want the best for you my dear, jazzi I’ve never met a doctor who got 4 and 3s in their GCSEs.” My mother explained while holding my hands in hers.

“I know, but I won’t ever improve if I have no space to breathe. I just want to separate my home life from my school like Sylvette does!” I stood up planning on going to my room so I can ‘study’ in reality I was going to see if any of my friends were online, usually we yap about random shit until the early hours of the morning but I doubt I was going to be able to do that tonight as my mother told me to sit back down and stay for just a minute.

“Jazmin, I want you to promise me that you won’t take on the habits of your friends. Sure they are lovely people but the plans that they’ve made for their future are clearly a lot um…different from yours.” I believe at this point she was referring to the fact that Sylvette planned to go into the entertainment industry once she was done with school while my parents wanted be to have a guaranteed to be stable job.

“Ok I won’t. Now if you excuse me I have homework to do.”

That was 18 years ago. Now I’m a brain surgeon, the first in my family. Never has a day gone by where my parents haven’t bragged about how successful I am.

I wish I could say that my parents had finally learned to accept that nagging me about something will make me do it, but alas I am very wrong since for the millionth time today my parents have called to ask the same question.

“Jazzi, my sweet” my mother sang on the other end of the phone.

“Hey mum what’s up?” I was currently filling out some very important documents for my next surgery so whatever she wanted now better have been important (I most likely wasn’t).

“When will you find a husband and give me some grandchildren, it’s been rather lonely being in this big house by myself” Called it. I knew it wasn’t important, finding someone to settle down with. It stupid but she doesn’t hear me out on that.

“Your not alone, daddy is there isn’t he?” She laughed at my question.

“Yes but I see him everyday, I love him of course but I really do miss the sweet sound of laughter echoing through our the house, I miss going out to the park on weekend, eating ice cream on the couch while gossiping about the drama that happens that day in school and watching movies on the couch with an unhealthy amount of snacks.” I was silent for a while, I never thought that my mother had missed all these things.

I was about to reply when I heard an unexpected knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

“Dr Rana, Dr Smith wants to see you in his office now. He says that it’s very urgent and important.” a young, shaky voice said from outside the door.

“Mummy I have to go now, I’ve got some important things to do I call you later, goodbye.”

“Bye Jazzi, I love you and I’ll call you tonight!”

“Love you too mum.”