#me: *vibrating* im being totally normal about this

[livingincolorsagain]

careless whispers for the wip game!!!!! since i've got the sax solo in my head and all now

wip game

aksjsjixsj mak i adore you for choosing this one because it’s the one im excited about most!!!

it all started because of this prompt by @sambuckyprompt

so! it’s in really early stages but! it’s completely outlined! it has a playlist because apparently im basing each chapter on a song or two. lost my mind, i did.

it’s a breaking-up/getting back together sambucky fic that’s sam-centric and a slow-burn and there’s a lot of character studying and growth and yearning and pining and learning to let people in and im jumping back and forth between the present and the past and. a lot. it’s a lot.

a pretty big, ambitious project that’s not gonna the light of day any time soon, probably, is what it is

and a snippet, of course (because all that rambling couldn’t have been coherent in any way):

There was an inherent loneliness to being Captain America. 

And it wasn’t like Sam has never been lonely before, he’s been lonely. He’s been alone, and he’s been lonely and alone, but. There was something about this, a feeling so old he’s surprised he could still feel it, that it still affected him.

That hollow silence that was once filled with the sound of life. 

Figaro meowed and Alpine didn’t answer, and for a split second, Sam forgot. He panicked. 

Then he remembered, and it weighed him down, an ache too deep it felt engraved into his very being. 

And really, it was fine. It wasn’t like he couldn’t do this alone, he could, but.

He didn’t want to. 

Mostly, he was starting to believe he wouldn’t have to.

[webslingingslasher]

hi!! can I request frat tasm!peter being sad/disappointed about reader not calling him petey anymore but he's trying to play it cool lol

like reader would come up to him like "hey pete what's up" and he'd immediately notice but he doesn't wanna let it show that he cares so he'd be like "you're acting weird" or something and reading asking him what the hell that means and he goes "haven't called me anything other than petey in a while" tryna brush it off lol and reader instantly knows where he's going but decides to play dumb like "yeah well you told me you didn't like it when i called you that" and peter wants to DIE cause he doesn't wanna admit that he actually kind of likes it and it's just endless teasing and maybe a flustered peter lol

this got extremely long lol im sorry feel totally free to ignore this if you don't wanna write it!! I love your writing <3 have a great day!

*cleaning out my inbox- this is regular frat!peter, however you invision him.*

'hi, peter!'

not that he's counting, but it's been four days since you called him petey and at this point he swears you're upset about something, you just won't tell him what yet.

'hi, trouble.' his kiss must be lacking, your thumb rubs over his bottom lip and you show a small frown. 'what's wrong?'

'nothing,' it's spoken into your skin. you don't believe him, you try again, peter's better this time around. 'your kisses feel sad.' okay, maybe not.

'i'm not sad, you're the one being weird.' you tie around him for a hug, he gladly copies you. 'i'm not being weird, you're being weird.' peter hums, you feel his chest vibrate.

'sorry. i think you're mad at me and you won't tell me why.' you have to be, it's the only reason you've been holding back your favorite name.

'i'm not mad at you. why do you think i'm mad?' peter's tapping his fingertips down the middle of your back, he doesn't know how to say it without sounding like a baby.

'i don't know. you've just been a little less affectionate than normal.'

you try to think back, you don't think you have. you had lunch with him almost everyday and wrapped your arm around his at the table, and kissed his cheek almost every ten minutes. and you almost had to beg him to ditch the party to come cuddle with you on saturday. 

and you're currently in a hug with no time expiration. you don't know how you could be more affectionate.

'have i?' you're looking at him for answers because you have none.

'yeah.' you can't fix it if he won't tell you. you poke his side, then tether your arm back around him. 'you gotta tell me how.'

'you just...' peter's so glad you're in a hug and have your head turned, because you can't see the blush he's feeling. 'you haven't called me petey in awhile.'

you feel your heart burst open. he loves it just as much as you do.

'you told me you didn't like it.'

peter knows what he said. it's just not what he meant.

'it doesn't matter if i like or not, i got used to it.'

you take a few seconds to think about it, it doesn't mean you can't have fun. 'if i start calling you petey again you can't give me sad kisses.' peter washes his hands over your back, you melt in further.

'if you started calling me petey again i would have no reason to give you sad kisses.' boom. he said it and he really wasn't thinking, you push him away and look up with shining eyes.

'you really do like it!' a gasp, you reach for his face- you reach for his pink cheeks. peter grabs your hands, 'no. leave me alone.' you bat him off and try again, he lets you.

peter blushes harder when you coo. 'you're my handsome petey.' his eyes close, 'trouble.'

'yes, petey? i'm all ears for my petey.'

my petey. he really likes that. it shows on his face, he swears he's about to start sweating. 'you know what you are?' it's not rhetorical, you're waiting for him to ask.

peter peeks an eye open, he's never seen you so infatuated. 'what am i?' you place a kiss to each cheek, 'you're my petey pie.' a whine follows, 'no, i'm not. i'm not a pie.'

'you are. you're my petey pie and you're so, so sweet.'

it's been a nonstop blush. you're loving this. 'guess what flavor you are,' you tell him before he can ruin it. 'strawberry.'

peter claws your hands off. 'okay, it's done. we're over this, now.' you won't let him escape without another kiss. 'sure thing, petey.' 

[elliespeach]

you belong to me | part two

 

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: ellie’s crush seems to spiral out of control one day on patrol and now she’s left to face the consequences.

warnings: 18+, strong language, sexually explicit descriptions, ellie and reader smoke weed together, possession and jealousy, david bowe? sandra

wordcount: 3k+ (periodt)

author note: thank you guys for so much love on the first part, i appreciate it more than you know that people enjoy my writing! i saw a tiktok about how moonage daydream is probably one of ellie’s favorite songs and i HAD to jump on it (i dont know who made the tt im sorry) i love that song and personally, i totally see ellie loving it so u know i had to incorporate it somehow. i hope you guys like this one! w loveeeeee

ellie held open the door for you once you reached her garage behind joel’s house. the small but cozy little apartment was familiar to you, the smell of weed and ellie was pungent but delightful as always. a small smile appeared on your lips as you glanced around ellie’s room, you’ve seen it a hundred times but it just screams ellie and you loved every knick-knack. ellie couldn’t help but stare, twiddling with her fingers ever so slightly but when you caught her eye she dropped her hands and her eyes darted to the wall. 

“uh– dina and i smoked my last blunt, gotta roll a new one.” ellie stammered, suddenly really aware of her movements. she made her way to her small couch, gathering her supplies to make the perfect blunt for you. she could roll with her eyes closed, but you made her so nervous and she was worried her shaky hands would spill her stash. 

normally, ellie wasn’t like this around you but given the circumstances, she couldn’t help it. 

fuck oh my god ellie just fucking roll like you’ve done a thousand times. she made the mistake of glancing at you, seeing you looking around her room. her heart nearly lurched from her chest, you fiddled with her paint brushes, leading your finger to the comic book she had open on her desk. rollrollrollrollroll.

“what’s this?” 

“my amazing-spiderman comic, i read it like a thousand times already.” ellie had regained control of her shaky hands, putting all of her focus into it. you let out a small laugh, causing her to lose focus and look up at you.

“nerd alert…” you said under your breath in a joking tone, locking your eyes on her stereo. 

“excuse m–” 

“what tapes do you have?” you searched through her tape box, landing on david bowe, you let out an exaggerated gasp “oh, perfect!” 

ellie scoffed lightheartedly, “i have the blunt ready, when you’re done bullying me.”

“oh please, i could do worse,” you skipped to moonage daydream and pressed play. the music erupted through the speakers and you turned it down to a reasonable volume and turned back to ellie, who was watching you diligently. “thank you.” 

ellie held out the blunt for you and you took it while settling in on the couch, the song vibrating throughout the small garage. “don’t sweat it, anything for you.” 

keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe, put your ray gun to my head

“no, really thank you, for everything.” you said, taking a hit from the blunt. feeling what little nerves you had left diminish into thin air. being around ellie had calmed you down a lot more than you had anticipated, and this was noticeable to ellie as you got more comfortable on her small couch. she watched your every move, fuck you look good hitting the blunt. 

press your space face close to mine, love, freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah

“like i said, anything for you,” you reached out, offering her the blunt next and she took it with ease. “can i ask you something?” ellie asked, her confidence coming back with the high creeping up on her. 

“shoot.” you responded.

“what did you see in her?” along with her question, she passed the blunt off to you, and you hit it while contemplating your answer. 

don't fake it, baby, lay the real thing on me

“i don’t know, if i’m being honest. she asked me on a date and we had a good time,” you took a beat. “it was nice, for a little. i guess.” 

“she didn’t deserve you, you know?” ellie remarked, taking the blunt back. “i’m not saying that because i kissed you, im saying it because i really mean it.” and because i kissed you. because you deserve someone like me. 

not someone like me. just me. 

“yeah, i know.” you answered softly. 

the church of man, love, is such a holy place to be

a silence fell between you and ellie, and she took the time to inhale the smoke into her lungs and back out. it was nearly out now and she ashed it into the tray. you loved the way she looked when she smoked, her hair in a messy bun, eyes red. your mind raced to the thought of her hands on you like they were a few weeks ago, aggressive but polite. the way she treated every curve of your body like it was a piece of artwork, you’d never admit it but you yearned for that feeling again. 

“well, can i ask you a question?” you asked her and she nodded bringing the blunt back to her lips, which somehow gave you small flurries in your stomach. “why did you kiss me?” 

she raises her eyebrows slightly, cocking her head to the side with a smirk. “you kissed me back you know? didn’t we just vow never to speak of it again?” she said in a mock accusatory tone. 

“i asked you a question,” you demanded, half joking. “and we're high, so it doesn’t count.”

make me, baby, make me know you really care, make me jump into the air

she looked down to the blunt between her fingers, choosing her words carefully. “heat of the moment, i think.” lie.

“c’mon ellie, i was honest with you.” you persisted with a laugh, knowing she was keeping the truth from you. 

she breathed out your name and her red eyes bore into yours, “why do you think i kissed you?” ellie spoke softly, as if anyone else would hear. 

she wanted to kiss you again and images of you on your back and your arms wrapped around her neck flooded her mind. it clouded her to say the least, as if the weed wasn’t doing that already. the way your body felt against hers, the electricity she felt when she kissed you and above all, you moaning in pleasure by ellie just simply touching you made her weak in the knees. 

keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe put your ray gun to my head

“i wish you would’ve done it before i went out with her,” you stated, unsure if that was the right thing to say. ellie’s eyebrows raised and you admired her eyebrow slit and how it suited her face well, even if it was an accident. 

“i wanted to ever since you got here,” ellie remarked, thinking about the day you arrived in jackson, she smiled at the memory. “but you were so…you, it made me nervous.” admitting that to you made her cheeks flush bright red and she could feel the heat she was radiating off. 

“oh, wow. i make the infamous ellie williams nervous?” you flaunted, theatrically throwing your hair over your shoulders. 

“shut up.” she playfully pushed your upper body.

“you shut up!” you laughed, pushing her back which resulted in her dropping the small blunt on the floor. you both immediately went to go pick it up, your hands touching as they reached the blunt. you were leaning further over than ellie was, face close to hers and you could swear you felt her breath on your face. 

press your space face close to mine, love, freak out in a moonage daydream, oh

the feeling that came over her the day in the woods was back again, this time in fuller force. every nerve in her body was heightened and her mind was screaming, kiss her you idiot! over and over again until she couldn’t fight the urges anymore.

swiftly, she cupped your face in her hands, pulling you into a deep kiss. it wasn’t hungry or lust filled, it felt sweet and you all but smiled as she did. your hand involuntarily moved up to grab her forearm, desperate for her touches again. and as if she could read your thoughts ellie gently pushed you down so she was over top of you on her small couch. 

the song in the background faded out slowly, the only sound was the heavy breathing of both of you. your legs went around her waist and she lowered herself into you. she pulled away from the kiss, staring at you longingly. a small smile splayed across her face and she reached up to brush away a loose strand of hair from your face. she pushed it behind your ear, following your hair down to your neck with her finger, just looking as if she was committing you to memory. and she was. 

“els?” 

“yeah baby?” she cooed, still hovering her eyes all over you a new found confidence in her, knowing you were just as crazy for her as she was for you.  

her green eyes found yours, “i have patrol in the morning,” you all but whined and ellie groaned playfully, burying her face in the crook of your neck. “i should try and get some sleep,” ellie kissed your neck, sucking on one spot below your ear which made your body twitch. “williams!” you laughed and her face was in front of yours again. 

“stay here tonight?” she asked, almost begged, her puppy eyes nearly bulging out of her head. 

“course,” you replied and she very hesitantly got off of you to go to her dresser. as you sat up on the couch, you noticed the blunt still on the floor. picking it up and seeing it was definitely ashed by now you looked around for her trash can. 

when you went to throw it away you saw crumpled up papers in the bin, ellie wasn’t one to waste and when you reached down to investigate she yelled from across the room, “don’t!” but it was too late, the paper was being unfolded in your hands and when you saw what she didn’t want you too, you understood why.

she had drawn you, on your horse looking out over jackson from the patrol look-out. ellie came up behind you and snatched the paper away from you, replacing it with a large t shirt of hers. “you’ve been drawing me?” you asked sweetly. 

“maybe,” she tried to deflect, “cmon, change. you need your sleep.” you obliged, letting her take the picture which she flattened out on her desk instead of throwing it away again. she was embarrassed about it but you adored it and wondered if that was the first time she had done that. it wasn’t. 

ellie often found herself sketching you, even if she didn’t mean to. she was practicing eyes and thought they looked familiar until she realized they were yours. those were crumbled up as well, probably long gone by now and she cursed herself for it. 

you changed and despite the moment(s) she had with you, she turned away as you did letting you have some privacy. she was waiting patiently, looking at her old books on her shelf when you came up behind her and took her hand in yours. she felt electricity in her hands as you touched her, the feeling not going away as you pulled her into her own bed. 

you fell asleep listening to ellie’s heartbeat in her chest, her arm wrapped tightly around you. there wasn’t much said, the high putting you both to sleep and when morning came ellie was alone in her bed, her clock reading 9:06 am. 

for a scary moment, she thought she had dreamed the whole thing. she got too high and hallucinated you flirting back with her, kissing her sweetly and wearing her t-shirt. she rolled over and noticed a small indent in the bed and could still smell the springy smell that belonged to you. not a dream…

right, you had patrol. but why wouldn’t you wake her? ellie groaned and sat up in her bed, regretful she wasn’t able to say a simple goodbye before you left. she knew from previous trips you’d be back in about an hour, so ellie got up and got ready for the day and set out for the front gates. it was the middle of spring, she decided to wear a short sleeved blue button up with ripped jeans and her converse that desperately needed replacing.

as she approached the gates, the familiar sound of bustling jackson townies filled her ears. she could smell the breakfast from the only restaurant in town and her mouth filled with water, but she was determined to make sure you got back safely first. 

she was approached by dina, who looked tiresome. “thank god we have the day off, im exhausted.” normally, she would agree. patrolling could get boring as often as she did it, the same routes she’s always taken, fighting small groups of infected here and there. but today she wished differently, her eyes darting from dina and the still closed gates, she wished she could have come with you. 

“yeah,” was all she said at first, contemplating telling her friend about the events of last night. sandra breaking up with you, taking you back to her place, how you kissed her back passionately. it made ellie think about how you could have ever been with sandra, and if you ever kissed sandra like that, felt her the way you did with ellie. a feeling of jealousy swarmed over her, glossing over her thoughts and destroying them. had you done all of that with her? did you think about me when you were with her? were you with her like that?

she decided against speaking about it, scared that she would burst into flames on the spot. “i’m switching back to morning patrols next week.” ellie announced to dina who raised her eyebrow in question before coming to her own conclusion about why. 

“so things are good with you guys again?” dina asked, biting into a sandwich and the sight made ellie’s stomach grumble. 

ellie looked everywhere but her friend. “yeah, i guess so.” she figured dina had no idea what transpired last night being so enveloped in jesse, but dina knew something was off even if ellie had stated you two were okay. 

“so, what happened? all the gritty details, please.” dina said in between bites, ellie’s eyes still wandering to the gate. 

“where’s jesse? shouldn’t you two be off, i don’t know, making babies?” ellie said defensively, having no effect on dina being as she's used to ellie’s snarky remarks. she glanced back from the gate to look at her friend whose mouth was agape. 

“oh my god, ellie williams what did you do?” 

ellie scoffed, crossing her arms. “i didn’t do anything!”

“tell me right now, ellie. malcom owes me some favors and putting your name on horse clean-up will be no problem.” dina threatened. 

she sighed, looking to the ground in defeat. “sandra broke up with her and i made her feel better, okay? that’s all.” 

“you boned her the night she got broken up with?” dina asked, astonished at her friend. 

“jesus christ,” ellie sighed. “no, i didn’t bone her, asshole. we just smoked and talked for a while and…” 

“and what?” dina cut her off quickly. 

“she may have spent the night.” dina’s shocked expression changed into a soft one and ellie immediately huffed, looking back to the gate. still not opening. 

“dina!” they both heard jesse’s voice behind them, dina turned to see her boyfriend waving her on. 

“i have to go, but i want details when i see you later!” she stated swiftly before patting ellie on the shoulder and sprinting to jesse. ellie said a quick goodbye before hearing the familiar sound of the creaking gates, indicating you had returned. 

before she knew it herself, her legs were moving her towards the gate as the horses started to stride in. she waited anxiously, scanning faces of all the morning patrols before landing on your beautiful face, but when she glanced over to see your patrol partner, her hand clenched into a fist by her side. 

it was sandra, her horse keeping the pace next to yours as if on purpose. ellie’s face went red, feeling the heat burning her cheeks she thought she would have burn marks from it. she watched as you looked at sandra, laughing. that laugh you had been blessing her ears with the night before. “the fuck…?” ellie said to herself in a low whisper. 

you made eye contact with a disturbed ellie, quickly glancing back to sandra as if to say bye. and as ellie approached you and your horse, she helped you dismount without a word. “hey els,” you said happily, hoping to see her face relax. it didn’t, but ellie handed off the reins to a stable keeper before taking her hand in yours. 

she basically dragged you away from the stables, taking a quick look back to see sandra looking at you two with an unrecognizable expression. “ellie, she was already scheduled–” 

jealousy pouring out of her, ellie responded, “i don’t care about that, what i do care about is her playing with your feelings.” she said in a huff. her hand was still firmly in yours, leading you away. 

“she’s not playing with my fee–” 

“what was that, then?” she turned to you, stopping both of you in your tracks. “did she even apologize to you? does she even know how much she hurt you?” 

“well– uh… not really.” you responded shyly.

“exactly,” she let out a deep breath, she had stopped you in a small alleyway between unoccupied houses, the sound of the town around you seemed to drown out behind ellie’s heavy breathing. 

“i know what this is,” you said with a playful smile. “you’re jealous.” you pointed a finger at her chest and poked her jacket. 

“what?” she asked, half listening. her mind was racing with the thoughts of you and sandra on patrol together, laughing together, being together. 

“you’re jealous,” you said simply, reaching your hand up to her chin gently, redirecting her eyes to you. “its sweet really. but you don’t have to worry about her anymore.” you planted a small kiss on her burning cheek. 

ellie’s eyes closed in comfort at your touch. you pulled away, your intoxicating scent leaving her swiftly before her eyes opened again, peering at yours intensely. your faces just inches from her’s, ellie pulled you into a kiss. wrapping her arms around your waist to bring you even closer.

“okay,” she breathed, finally feeling herself relax with your reassurance. suddenly feeling a little self-conscious of her actions she cleared her throat. “let’s get some breakfast, yeah?” you nodded before wrapping yourself around her arm and continued walking further into town.  i don’t have to worry about her anymore, she repeated to herself. you belong to me.

[crazy-lazy-elder-sims]

I didn't want to talk about this because its too painful because i lost so many friends and im Scared but i cant anymore i cant stay silent and grieve silently

FYI the total blackout doesn't work when people in neighboring countries can feel your bombs see the fire from that far away and hear your planes in the sky...

I live in Egypt im a massive amount of miles away from the border and i can feel vibrations from the explosions i can hear the planes. I couldn't even fucking sleep I couldn't do anything but sit silently and listen waiting for the war to start here too subconsciously im Preparing for the worst i keep thinking i need to be with my parents the moment it happens if a bomb drops on us i need to hug my parents n die with them. I know im panicking and exaggerating and i keep being told advice to live my life day to day and not freeze in fear at the sound of planes and im Trying im trying i go to work i try to concentrate i try to make art i try to play games i try to make jokes i try to reach out to friends i try to participate in communities that share my intrest (like simblr for example) im trying but i feel like im Gonna have a heart attack idk

But My Palestinian friends and teachers i grew up with and thier entire families are either dead or MIA(and presumed dead) these are normal people that didn't o anything but live withthier families.

They attacked inside of Egypt and Lebanon i dont know if yall know this but Isr*el wont stop at Palestine they will extend the war towards the rest of the middle east. They will kill everyone under the name of a religious war and fighting terrorists when you know damn well its not. Its a genocide its an ethnic cleansing you know damn well what it is.

Free Palestine stop the genocide and if you dont agree unfolow me and fuck off.

I will continue to try to not panic and manage my anxiety but i cant be silent anymore i will not grieve silently i will not be silent and i will not be silenced.

[stevens-fanclub]

CRYING I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT SOMETHING IN MY HEADCANONS ASK GAH /LH Hear me out. Purring phones. Not in the usual cat-purr way, of course, but more like a soft hum/vibration from their inner mechanisms, making it come out as more of a "vrr" sound than a "prr" if that makes sense. And and.. cord tail. Ik I'm not the only one with this headcanon but I wanna add it anyways because it's so silly. They gotta charge back up SOMEHOW.. probably. Most phone guys would probably hide them in their pants, though, partially due to annoying kids tugging on them and such. I'd also assume that they need some way to eat/drink, since their bodies are still primarily human. Despite being partially machine, they'd probably still need at least the BASIC necessities a normal human would so that they don't just keel over and die or whatever. I personally always just imagined them having either a little slot that can open up for them to stick a straw in, OR that their dials are hinged and can sorta open up for them to eat (considering they still have skulls in there and all, it's not hard to image that they have SOME sort of mouth left.. in a way), and that they stay shut via a little clip of sorts. Kinda like opening a door or hatch in a way?? I personally imagine them having like.. barcode tattoos (likely including their model and date of creation) either on their backs or the back of their necks. Plus the Afton Robotics AR either indented into their phone heads or stuck onto them like a sticker or paint. They'd likely also have maintenance panels in the backs of their heads that can be unscrewed whenever they need some wiring fixed up. Steven would also likely feel some touch aversion - especially with those he doesn't trust nor have at least some vague semblance of a bond with - which is mostly due to his traumatic past but doesn't really know WHY he's so iffy with touch. Despite being a Gen 1 phone guy, who're mostly if not entirely AI (based on what I remember and the Wiki, I may have to check again), he'd probably still have certain instincts ingrained into his brain (or, well.. his CPU, I guess). He'd probably be pretty touch starved, though, and if you get him to trust you enough, he would probably love a good hug or for someone to gently hold the sides of his head (since he lacks cheeks to cup and all, ofc). Can't you tell how totally sane and normal I am about phone guys (especially Steven)? /j -🍆

im devouring all those headcanons

also yea they prob can eat, somehow, if they can smoke they can surly eat too. ig they have a whole somewhere in their phones and that's how they do it

also yea touch starved steven!!!

[webginz]

i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.

well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)

im so scared :(

[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]

then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead

okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.

she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.

after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)

she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD

im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!

whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.

she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)

but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)

ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.

so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")

she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.

at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)

so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!

she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!

i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!

im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.

the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.

i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???

god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.

every things going wrong today and forever

pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi,

is it possible to orgasm just from your hands/fingers? every time i try it doesn’t feel like anything.. as if im trying to tickle myself. i don’t want to get a vibrator ‘cause im scared ill become reliant on it :( sometimes i feel bad cause people my age are making themselves finish. i think im broken. any tips will help.. thank u

hi anon,

in my heart of hearts I have to assume you already know the answer to the first question. humans have been jacking it for longer than we've even been humans, because even monkey brains know that touch genital feel good. there's evidence to suggest that human fetuses may begin touching their genitals for fun in utero, and tons of animals also masturbate - even these cute little guys!

and you know his rodent ass doesn't have a vibrator.

all of which is to say that the urge to crank it is a powerful and ancient one, and I simply can't believe that you believe that nobody was actually managing to nut until the vibrator was invented in the late 19th century (although that was, admittedly, hardly the first sex toy; there are dildos that are thousands of years old that can attest to that). I suspect the question really bothering you here isn't whether a hands-only orgasm is possible (obviously yes), but whether there's something wrong with you for not having been able to achieve such a thing.

the answer to that is obviously no; I can happily confirm right off the bat that you're not broken on the basis of your sexual function because that's not how that works. there's no singular mode of human sexuality that's the "normal" one that people should be afraid to stray too far away from; what's "normal" varies from person to person, frequently from day to day. what matters isn't being like other people, it's ensuring that you feel safe and comfortable in your own specific relationship with sex.

it seems that you're not at the moment, because of this orgasm insecurity, so I want to talk about that. first off: if your hands aren't cutting it, why not get a vibrator? you say you're scared of becoming reliant on it, but what's the alternative? never coming ever? bullshit. my brain chemistry doesn't naturally balance itself out very well, so I'm reliant on lexapro to be a functional fucking person. that shit's great. being reliant on things that categorically and harmlessly improves your quality of life rules, everybody should do it.

listen, man. everyone has different sexual needs. for some people, it's the intensity and consistency that can only be provided by a battery-powered assistant. I cannot tell you how many people have come to me expressing despair that they can't finish with a partner without also using a sex toy, as if that's not a totally fine thing to need or want. just use a vibrator it's literally fine it does not matter. we're all living on a melting rock ruled by capitalism, just use a vibrator if you want to and if your partner has a problem with it find a better partner.

also. hey. look at me. listen to me. an orgasm does not need to be the single defining factor of whether you're having a good and healthy sexual experience. go read this. I know you're not orgasming when you masturbate, but are you, like, enjoying yourself? does it feel good? because that's really the only thing that matters, and I want you to keep that in mind no matter what you decide to do next in your sexual journey. the point is to have fun, not to reliably produce an orgasm like clockwork.

anyway. you're not broken. get a vibrator if you want; I recommend this one for beginners. stop comparing yourself to others and be kind to yourself.

[imaginepostingonsideblogs]

uh also adding a bit about cas' husband. we havent established everything that they did to each other yet but rex often puts down cas, criticizes him and tells him that he's the only person who will ever stand/care for him, tells him that he deserves the bad shit that happened to him (even though that was 100% rex's fault), remind him of the time he killed his boyfriend, gaslight him, threaten him with death or severe pain (and has no qualms following up if he feels like it), belittle him, stalk him, obsess over him and when he thinks cas is slipping away from him

he likes to get really sweet, hold his hand, cup his face, kiss him, tell him how much he means to rex and how they'll be alright, they can work this marriage out if only cas will come home, they can be happy together again.

so you can see why cas might be a liiiiiiiittle fucked up. just a little. a tad. a smidgen. rex sent him divorce papers once, cas ripped them up and now whenever he complains to rex about getting killed, rex tells him that he should sign those divorce papers if he REALLY wants him too stop. he also refuses to give cas another copy.

Y EAH. YEAH EXACTLY. EVERYTHING HE JUST SAID. YUP. you see what i mean abt felix being able to put it more succinctly than me huh

theyre in a terrible no good awful relationship but also it was once a really genuinely loving one and neither of them can really let that particular fact go!!!! ! also im totally normal abt them <- vibrating fast enough to produce an audible hum

just imagine the most fucked up guys in the world and then imagine they're married and then imagine they constantly make each other worse and you're all set

I HATE THEMMMM (loves them)

[rowavolo]

Alrighty, i'm ready to ask ya general!

Can we hear

🌌- what was your first date like?

🎵- what are some song lyrics that make you think of your f/o/your relationship with your f/o?

💐- how did you two meet?

🏠- what's your and your f/os dream home?

For Ayato, Capitano, Diavolo and Lucifer?

I'm so glad to see some capitano selfships! Any genshin and obey me! selfships are so precious!

Your selfships all sound so nice! 🤩

So i hope you don't mind me asking

WHOAH ! absolutely, let's gooo !!

thank you so much for your kind words, youre so so sweet ahhh!!!

ramblies below the cut <3

🌌- what was your first date like?

Ayato - honestly, the way I imagine ayato and I is mostly in an arranged marriage type thing (I have a differently designed sona for it and everything khsjfsdj). our first 'date' i guess would be considered the boat trip back from watatsumi island (where the wedding took place) and we drank ginger tea and chatted about folklore and mythology <3

Capitano - i've never really thought about it much, but i'd imagine our first date would probably be some sort of nature walk/hike where we just chat whenever the mood strikes us and i point out cool stuff i see while he just nods politely <3

Diavolo - i. also imagine being in an arranged marriage with him in most scenarios, but outside of those scenarios, in an AU in which im just a normal exchange student, i think our first 'date' would be where im infodumping excitedly to someone else (probably lucifer, satan or solomon) about how dia's demon form looks like it might be a dragon and im all fascinated by that and barbatos overhears and relays it to dia, who then invites me to an afternoon tea and tells me im allowed to ask whatever i like <3 though even given that opportunity it Would still turn into me infodumping about dragons

Lucifer - he's a very traditional sort, he's very careful to make sure none of our regular hangouts could be misconstrued as dates until both of us are entirely ready (which id totally misread as him friendzoning me and be sad about). but the first date he makes a reservation at a nice restaurant and works really hard to make it this Whole Memorable Thing but honestly i still consider our first date to be that time he let me pace around his study and infodump about my favourite book series for 40 minutes while he nodded politely and did paperwork.

🎵- what are some song lyrics that make you think of your f/o/your relationship with your f/o?

(rifling through my eight billion playlists and vibrating intently)

Ayato - there's a particular set of lines from 'Inventor's Daughter' by Branches that just resonates so hard with the arranged marriage fic/au i have laid out and it makes me SO insane (/pos)

theres something extraordinarily perfect to me about the "A white flag torn from a wedding gown" line, especially considering my sona's whole gender situation in this fic and the fuckery surrounding that. this au/fic holds a very dear place in my heart and honestly i need to keep writing it because i love it so much <3

Capitano - Black Bear (by Black Bear) sort of gives me him vibes, and the kind of wistfulness and envy the singer has towards the bear just. vibes. and also the way i write him. he is literally a black bear. so thats kind of funny

Diavolo - ok i have a few songs that vibe with this ship but there's a specific one that gave me SUCH brainrot recently about an au in which he and i are like hades and persephone and theres just SUCH a vibe and aesthetic surrounding it that makes me INSANE. The song is Epic III from the live version of Hadestown

Lucifer - There's something about 'Never Love an Anchor' by The Crane Wives that really tickles the Lucifer itch in my brain and the angst resonates SO MUCH with him. This section in particular just gives me SO MANY feels and makes me want to write disgustingly depressing angst of the ship ,,



💐- how did you two meet?

Ayato - usually arranged marriage type stuff, but outside of that im like a stray that thoma brings in because were both from mondstadt and he thinks im silly

Capitano - just through whatever fatui shenanigans and the like, my guy is a knight of favonius so id imagine he just got sent out with that group that went out and met capitano and was like. "ok im fascinated by this big guy. seeya"

Diavolo - again, i mostly imagine arranged marriage, though the first time they meet would be Before that, during some like fancy soiree or whatever, i dunno. other than that, just the exchange program

Lucifer - exchange program. i latched onto him like a remora because i could sense his autism from across the room and he just kind of took it



🏠- what's your and your f/os dream home?

Ayato - the estate beloved <3 but also i could see us having a holiday home in liyue, since its where we went for our (very belated) honeymoon and we liked it a lot !!

Capitano - Answered here!

Diavolo - I think he'd be very emotionally attached to the Demon Lord's Castle but I could also see us getting a sort of smaller, more modern style house closer to the main bulk of the Devildom where we end up spending a lot of our time.

Lucifer - He's very attached to the House of Lamentation and despite all his complaints he and his siblings are pack bonded and if they're separated they'll all die of loneliness and broken hearts (and also his siblings are too dumb to survive more than a few days without him), but I could see us having basically the inverse of Diavolo's in which we get a small place in the human world or something that we can stay in for a few days at a time just to get away from things!

Again, thank you so much for sending this ask, it was so fun to answer!



[theloveinc]

https://at.tumblr.com/matchagirl/686152326082396160/6j526x4eqlq9

Lmaoooo this is shinso, he tries so hard to be nonchalant but is vibrating at the thought that you brushed hands earlier, ✋️ love me pathetically inlove men who are unable to express it like a normal human being, who else does this remind you of lol ?

(You can totally ignore this but sometimes im a little nosey) Saw that someone blocked you and while my totally rational mind is like "yeah maybe they just don't like the content, I sometimes block ppl because they pop up on my feed to frequently or smth like that" but ngl sometimes it's like " no, tell me the reason!" So yeah ur valid for feeling a little miffed, and if you want to be upset, I'll be upset with you! Lmao sending lots of love

(link!)

COOKIE, i'm so glad to see u! i felt bad about not getting to ur last ask, so it's nice that you're still around💓💓💓

this absolutely IS shinso and it's gonna drive me insane to think about LOL, the way not even his closest friends know how deep he is into his lil crush.

like him still being his somewhat cold self on the outside, trying to focus on work and business, literally MALFUNCTIONING when u just get coffee at the same time as him, pass him in the halls, sit next to him in meetings.

he's an underground hero for gods sake, he shouldn't be flustered over little things like that. AND YET, deep down he's so loving and romantic and dedicated that he just can't help the way he aches for you! kasdfnkjlladsjfkjadfmkl, truly.

(takes him like two whole years to work up the nerve to say anything about it to you, and even then he struggles being casual about it bc he doesn't want to show that he's scared of your rejection. just kiss him already!!!)

this also reminds me a bit of ... kirishima, honestly??? he's a little more forward LOL but he's such a mess over you in the crushing stages at first. doesn't want bakugo to pick at him for it, or even for you to think he's being too forward or something... arg, i love that dude (and you, too!).

(the type to go out with the boys and sigh the whole time bc he wishes he could've invited u. and then when he's asked what's wrong is just like: "ahhh you know. nothing :-)" BITCH!!)

lolol, this was such a cute thought! thank u for stopping by with it<3

-

and about the blocking ... YEAH. like i just wish i knew the reason, so at least i wouldn't have to wonder if i ... hurt someone unintentionally. ofc i stand by a lot of my decisions / actions too so maybe it's totally justified... but still.

and there ended up being a third person who blocked me recently too, which just made me even more DAM!!! (even tho i'll be fine in the end).

but i appreciate the concern (and upset-ness hehe) cookie! lots of love to you, too and hope you're well!🖤

[fr3aklike-me]

I’m a Muslim woman who lives with her sisters. I was gone for a few days and I came back and realized my sister cleaned my room for me and found my vibrator and now its gone. They haven’t confronted be about it and I’m pretty sure it’s because my cousin is staying with us. But I’m worried once she leaves they’ll confront me about it and they’re very religious. Im mad because why the fuck did they take it??? Im a grown 24 year old women i hate that i feel like this 😭😭 what should I do?

oh my god, the way I related to this so much, being from a Muslim family myself LMAO. like, I don't have toys, but if I get them, I've already planned where I will hide them bc my parents might be awkward about it. I totally get why you're upset they took it, that's such an invasion of privacy and so not cool for them to have taken it without telling you. you are a whole grown woman, and shouldn't have your stuff taken from you without permission. I totally understand why you're feeling worried, I'd be very panicked as well. okay, if she confronts you, I think you should go to the source and bring up Imams who have permitted masturbation. I had searched up before masturbating for the first time on how it was connected to Islam, and some Imams have said masturbation is permitted and allowed. so, I'd say maybe consider bringing that up, and also, like you said, make the point that you're a grown woman, and your stuff should not be taken without your permission, and what you do in regards to your sexuality is your business. even if it's hard, I'd say try your best to have an open, calm discussion about this with your sisters, whether it be in regards to masturbation in Islam or the general respect they should be showing to you, a grown woman who is one hundred percent allowed to enjoy the pleasures of their body. even the Prophet (PBUH) openly spoke of sex and female pleasure, so don't let them ever make you feel at all like you are doing wrong by exploring and enjoying the pleasures of your own body. just try your best to speak with them about it in regards to how masturbation is totally normal and natural, how some Imams have determined it's okay, or even just how they need to respect your boundaries as a whole adults by not taking your stuff without permission, since that's very childlike behaviour. I think any of these topics will be worthwhile discussions with them, and try your best to come from a place of kindness and calmness, since it is saddening that your sisters might have been taught that masturbation is unnatural, and so it wasn't normalized for them - which, unfortunately, happens a lot in conservative households. try to be patient with them, but also explain how for you, masturbation is natural and normal, and you deserve to have that and your boundaries respected. I'm always here to talk or vent to, as well <3

[rabbits-of-habit]

Challenge for mod havoc to grab his favorite writing he did for each character he writes for and share with the class

OK here we go!-Mod Havoc

Nex: This one isn't in the masterlist due to the fact I forgot to put it there when I was cycling through the last time it was updated. But It is one of my favorite Nex writings. (AND IT HAS LORE)

HABIT: This is part one of the angst fic that I am writing. Part two is linked in it but I love these more than anything.

Evan: The Evan needing a hug ask was my favorite because I thought it was a really sweet idea.

Vince: I have not written much for Vince but I really like the hcs I wrote about him being with someone and hiding the slender stuff from them.

Jeff: I dont write much for him either. But I do enjoy this one.

Noah: General Noah hcs my beloved.

Prebrand: I made this a super long time ago but I still think its cute. Perhaps I should rewrite it one of these days.

Firebrand: I also made this so long ago its labeled in the Tribetwelve section of the masterlist. Giving me rewrite ideas honestly.

The Observer: I dont write very much for him. I totally should though. Heres some hcs for an idea I liked a long time ago.

Milo: THE AMOUNT OF STUFF I HAVE ON HERE FOR MILO IS A CRIME AND I NEED TO WRITE FOR HIM MORE BUT HERES SOME HCS.

Sadly I can only put 10 link blocks per ask but I can make a part two to this is wanted and asked for!

[emptynarration]

You have convinced me. I'll give it a read ^^. (Also yes he dose deserve the attention because he's a good bean. Lol I assume he is)

(seer. Lol that's clever)

Ya, I don't blame the Host for seeing the god as evil though. I mean the god kind of did snatched those eyeballs.

I am completely normal about Seer I promise- (totally not completely vibrating with excitement and love for him) he IS a bean!! a very good bean!! he doesnt even kill anyone!! wow!!

Well the god was like, super manipulative and giving false promises. it was just out to take authors body as its own, and thats easiest when the body is severely hurt and unconscious. plus being blind isnt a problem when youre literally all knowing

(meanwhile in the seer au, which i read over real fast becaus ei love him- the god thought author could take the infinite knowledge but whoops he cant and authors mind shatters, the god leaves him, and now what was author is left to pick up the pieces by himself)

(im totally normal about seer i love him a normal amount---)

[nototallyme]

It’s so bizarre to me that I’ve dealt with ear problems since I was a kid. I’ve had many surgeries since then for Constantine getting ear infections from swimmers ear, cholesteatoma, and even taking bone from one of my ears to add it to my other to totally reconstruct my ear and eardrum. The constant surgeries makes it where I can’t get my ear wet for almost a year. Even when it’s been past that time, I’m still making appointments to the ent bc I have another infection. The infections are not because I’m dirty but because my ear does not drain well and keeps the water and humidity in the ear. To me not being able to shower properly but always wash my hair in the sink like a child. The neck pain and water everywhere just so I can have clean hair and not get my ear wet. The aches and the sometimes blood from my infected ear. I’m 19 and I was just told like a year ago that I can take proper showers and not have to worry about keeping water out of my ear. Now, my left ear has cholesteatoma, again, and I’ll have surgery, again, next year. I’m so tired. My ears went through so much and still are and it caused my eardrums to thicken due to the repeated trauma. Just to give a quick summarization on my hearing, ear drums vibrate bc of sound and it gets processed. Since my eardrums are thicker than normal, my eardrums are not vibrating well and processing the sounds. Although my nerves in my ears are fine and normal, surprisingly due to excessive surgeries and the damage, hostility, and abrasive it is. Each surgery there are risks. I even had to change my headphones bc the earbuds would cause ear infections. I’ve found bone conducting headphones which sends the music to my nerves instead of through the eardrum and they’re a blessing bc I can hear without it being at 100%. They’re fucking ugly though. But my left ear has cholesteatoma again and my right ear is bleeding bc it probably has another infection. They can’t see me until late December and infections can be damaging. Again, I’m just so tired and worn out. I can not hear someone whispering. I can’t hear footsteps, doors opening or closing, garage doors, the air coming on, car horns from inside the car or emergency vehicles, knocking, people asking me questions at checkout, and so on. It’s so frustrating and hard to deal with bc I’m losing my hearing every time I get a hearing test. Im close to being deaf and having to learn sign language. I don’t realize the things I’m not hearing like I used to until someone talks about it or I think about it. I got a loud ass fan facing me in my tiny room and I was going to bed but I had to open my ears and turn on my light to see if it was on. Usually I hear it and it sounds like white noise but I couldn’t hear it this time. My favorite music that I can listen to over and over without getting tired of it can just be gone any second. I won’t be able to hear my dog whining or snoring in his sleep, which I barely can now and I have to try to listen to hear it if he’s loud. It’s so pathetic. It’s so damaging having to wear hearing aids so young. And ppl getting aggravated with me bc I can’t hear them when I’m asking politely saying ‘sorry I couldn’t hear you, could you repeat that’. I just can’t handle this much longer

[haik-choo]

waking up next to the karasuno second & third years

request: the waking up next to the first years hcs was the purest most adorable thing i’ve ever read 🥺🥺🥺could u do one with the second or third years too?

a/n: thank you so much for loving the first one i did! i’m sorry i haven’t been as active, i go in and out of a creative mindset and this quarantine isn’t really pushing me to stay creative. i just sleep most of the time LOL. here it is! :)

[WAKING UP NEXT TO THE KARASUNO SECOND AND THIRD YEARS] 

-nishinoya, tanaka, daichi, sugawara, asahi

nishinoya yuu.

waking up next to nishinoya yuu isn’t filled with excitement or him jumping off the walls, like you might expect it to be. i feel like the first ten minutesof waking up for him are really slow, like he’s just barely opening his eyes and looking at the ceiling.

for some reason i really feel like he wakes up before you. he goes to bed at like two am, but wakes up at eight am to practice or go on a little jog. 

but every time he wakes up, the first thing he looks at is you. your peaceful state, your slow-rising chest, the little breaths leaving your slightly parted lips. noya is a really emotional person, and I can bet you real money that he gets real giddy seeing you next to him.

you don’t usually sleep in his arms because he’s a wild sleeper and probably starfishes, so when he wakes up his limbs are sprawled out, some on you, some hanging off the bed. and he just barely turns his head at there you are in your morning glory. 

his heart literally swells five sizes bigger. he’ll shift over to be next to you and move your hair out of your face or just mess with the hair at the top of your head, basking in the love you cause him to feel.

after a few minutes of doing that, he’ll let out a big ol’ sigh and wrap his arms around you, squeezing tight to wake you up.

“mmm,,,,noya, what are you doing,,,” “i’m just feeling grateful :)” 

and you look up at him, and there’s a feeling of security that fills you. he may not be the biggest or strongest, but the light in his eyes and the warmth in his arms that he wraps around you make you feel safe. 

not to mention that his hair is down and sticking out everywhere. it’s a cute picture that only you’ll ever see

you return his gesture and wrap your arms around him, thinking about different ways to make him stay in bed instead of going out for a jog.

basically; the morning is filled with hugs and soft smiles, knowing looks and arms that evoke the feeling of being safe and being loved. his hair is wild, and his hands are tugging at your own strands. 

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you two almost always wake up in the same position, his arms spread out, your head resting on one of them, one of his legs propped up like a tent and the other flat on the bed, you curled up against his side. since he’s a touch-starved individual, he finds any excuse for you two to be as close as possible every second of every day. 

you both actually wake up a few minutes apart, whoever wakes up first is a coin toss. and when you wake up first, you get to see his face void of the tension is usually has, his mouth is a little open with small snores coming out, his fingers twitching every few seconds

tanaka’s body reacts before he does, so even if you try to get up, his arms just holds onto you and keep you attached to his side. he swears he doesn’t do it on purpose, and that his body just needs you :’) 

on days when he wakes up before you he stays as still as stone. no joke, he’s so afraid of waking you up and experiencing your wrath that he just. freezes

but as he’s frozen, he takes the time to just stare. no smile on his face, he just stares, drinking in your sleeping form. he occasionally takes a change and slowly turns, stretching out his arm for his phone on the side table. when he can reach it, you can bet he has 200+ new photos of your sleeping and he makes them his screen savers

the second he sees your stir awake lightly, he pounces on you an covers your face in little kithes and saves your lips for last. sometimes he’ll wait until you open your eyes and look at him, pouting like “where’s my real kisses :(” before he gives you a big boy smooch

you giggle and caress his chest with your hand, happy that he wakes you up like a queen everyday. trust me, he’s happy he gets to be the guy whose face you see first thing in the morning

he usually scrolls through his phone for like an hour before getting out of bed, and you just sit there and watch tik toks with him. you two my wake up at roughly the same time, but you get out of bed before him to make some morning smoothies (he totally asks for a protein shake AGAGA) 

basically; your mornings get started at the same time, and he loves to make sure you’re up by pelting you with kisses that you love. you scroll through tik tok while being smushed next to his chest before you get up to make breakfast. 

daichi sawamura.

not gonna lie, when he wakes up he spend like a minute or two in bed at MOST, he hates just staying in bed because he feels like he could so much more productive than lie around and do nothing. you, on the other hand, wouldn’t mind staying in bed for the entire day. 

so here’s the way it usually goes: he wakes up a minute before his alarm (7:00am) and just quickly sighs before reaching over you and turning it off so it doesn’t wake you up. then he kisses your forehead (his breath smells bad, so he’s not going to kiss your lips) before getting up and washing up. he gets ready to go on a jog, and he kisses your shoulder before he sets out on his journey.

but every once in a while, there’s something wonderful that happens. he doesn’t feel like working out. he wakes up at the same time, but he just doesn’t feel like doing anything. on those days, he completely indulges in your warmth.

he doesn’t care if he wakes you up and hoists you up so you’re completely laying on his body. of course you wake up, but you already know what’s going to happen, so you just softly groan. “so you don’t feel like getting up and decide to wake me up? really?” “yes, really” “...you’re lucky i love you” “im the luckiest man alive” 

you two actually talk during mornings like those, you love pressing an ear against his chest and hearing the vibrations his voice causes. it’s like calming background noise to you. 

“are,,,you even listening. we’ve got a lot to do today” “i’ve been ignoring everything after you said ‘getting up’“ “...of course you have”

you haveto convince him to stay even longer in bed, because he really hates staying in bed, like he just wants to make “eggs or fucking toast or an OMLETTE PLEASE I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING”

in order to persuade him to stay for a little longer, you usually just kiss him. normally he hates morning breath, but when it’s you kissing him so tenderly he can make an exception or two

ngl it usually leads to making out or morning sex, like i said he needs to do SOMETHING 

basically; you wake up like a married couple. normally he gets up right away, but every once in a while he;ll decide to spend some extra time with the love of his life, and that time is usually spent kissing and...doing other things ;) 

sugawara koushi.

instead of you waking up in his arms, he wakes up in your arms. like his face is pressed against your chest and your arms is haphazardly resting over his shoulder. his arms are undoubtedly around your waist, his lags entangled with yours

every morning, without fail, he wakes up first and somehow slip out of your position and into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth before making two cups of coffee and coming back into the bedroom, setting them on the nightstand, and crawling back into bed with you

usually he sits up in bed and moves you to rest your head in his lap so he can reach over to sip at his drink. his hands comb through your hair and he trifles through his emails just incase some parent messages him about something

sometimes he’ll stop scrolling at look down at you, feeling happy and 100% sure that he has the greatest life; first he wakes up in your arms, spends time with you, spends time with kids, and them spends more time with you 

the school he teaches at starts at like twelve pm, so he likes to take his time waking up so he’s as happy as possible. and spending a lot of time with you is key to that.

can only wait for so long before he pokes your side until you wake up. the entire time he’s like “please wake up” “i’ve got work in like four hours! let’s do something!” “i’ll make breakfast if you give me sufficient payment ;)” 

literally the second you wake up he props you up and you look drunk as hell when you first wake up but he still thinks you’re beautiful <3 cute rat 

he rests your head on his shoulder and kisses you until you’re fully awake, you don’t always kiss back but that’s because you’re not fully there  and you’re just,,, “is there a bird pecking at me? what the hell - oh, it’s koushi” 

“can’t you wake me up like a normal person?” “no, i like kissing you awake. isn’t that cute? :)” “not when you kiss like a bird.” “so you have,,,,chosen death?”

when he’s feeling extra happy he has no issue putting you on his lap, facing him. he wraps your arms around him before doing the same to you and burying his face in your neck and humming a soft tune. he’s just such a calming presence that sometimes you fall back asleep in his lap :’)

basically; it’s a cute and happy morning as he rests you on his lap and peppers your lips with kisses to wake you up. playful banter is included, and so it coffee breath.  

asahi azumane.

he would love to wake up to you pressed to his side, but he gets hot really easily, so he cant hold you to sleep. he totally hugs a small pillow to sleep and you can old press up against his back, which he doesn’t mind. 

he’s the type to wake up at ten am naturally, and every morning he yawns and stretches out his arms, rolling back a little before yelping at the feeling of you getting quietly crushed beneath him

when he realizes that it’s just you, his heart beat stabilizes and he turns over, flipping the sheets off of him to he doesn’t overheat, and grabs you hands, lacing his fingers through with yours

you’ve been dating for a while, so he’s completely comfortable doing skinship with you. he’s not embarrassed at how much he loves you. he likes to gently caress your face with his hands, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones and sometimes across your bottom lip

no lie, waking up with asahi is the softest thing ever. he gives you one single kiss on your cheek, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling away to see your eyes cracked open

by this time he’s lightly hovering over you, and he just lets out a slightly bashful smiles and leans down, his forehead pressing against yours

you think that you must’ve saved a cat orphanage in your past life in order to get he delicious treat of waking up with asahi’s face in front of yours everyday 

“good morning to you, too, azumane” “morning :)” “did you have that weird dream again?” “the one where hinata grows to be eight foot three and dunks me in a basketball hoop and leaves me up there and becomes the ace?” “yeah” “yes. yes i did.thanks for reminding me.” 

sometimes asks for extra cuddles before getting up to take a shower, and when you say yes he just :):):) and envelops you in his warm embrace and rubs his beard goatee thing on your forehead as you grovel in pain because it’s in that in-between phase where it’s scratchy and long 

sometimesasksyoutoshowertogetherbutyouusuallyhavetodecipheritbecausehe’sallblushyandit’ssocuteyoucoulddie

honestly struggles to get up in the morning because he really loves just laying and existing with you, his mind not focused or worried about anything but the way your chest rises slightly out of sync with his, and sometimes he imagines your chest heaving beneath his,,,,but hat’s astory for antoher time

basically; waking up with him is like a fairy tale. his gently lips and even gentler arms wake you up like a queen, and he makes sure that you feel the same way he does. sometimes there’s extra cuddles, sometimes there’s some showering together. 

[warmau]

Love Struck!AU x ITZY

*makes a post about giving up writing* *girls exist* well. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

ryujin

pines from afar, but acts like you are strangers in public

panics when you touch her casually and makes a run for the hills

you literally just swipe over her hand reaching for your notes or something and she shoots up out of her chair like! i must! exit! the! room!

"hey ryujin, you're acting weird - do you like someone?"

"pfft no. if i liked someone i would just tell them i liked them."

and then you walk in the room and she's suddenly standing in a corner facing the wall

curses at herself when she catches herself staring at you

and she's like 'dammit get it together this is embarrassing!' pinching her nose and whatnot and then turning to see chae looking at her like O_O

when you somehow end up in front of her, she just can't help but soften at anything you say

if you are both alone you could ask ryujin to do absolutely anything, illegal or not, and she'd just nod dreamily because

instead of you talking it's just pretty bells and the sound of angels singing

she has it so bad

everyone around her soon enough comes to the conclusion also, that she has it bad

and so when you get 'accidentally' paired up for some project or end up alone in a room by 'coincidence

is really the only time ryujin even has a chance of telling you how she feels because if there is an audience she just becomes a shell

so when you sit down in front of her with a big smile and she opens her mouth to FINALLY explain why she's been running away from you like you have the plague and saying she doesn't know your name even though it's a word she repeats to herself a hundred times on a daily basis

you're like

"i know how you feel. let's date?"

ryujin: both thankful for your forwardness but also flushing so much she might have smoke coming out of her ears

everyone teases her for it because oh ryujin aren't you supposed to be the cool type who'd just ask out whoever she likes

and ryujin is like shuttup liking someone is hard

and you're also like shuttup ryujin is cool!

ryujin posing next to you with her hand on her hip like see, i am! but also yelling about how much she loves you in her head.

lia

absolutely turns the charm from 100% to 1000000000%

she's naturally confident so being lovestruck is kind of a new feeling

liking someone so much that her brain goes a little haywire is like .... not normal for her

usually, people are lovestruck for her and she has to let them down (in the coolest, most polite way possible)

she decides that she just kinda has to put in a little more of the work than usual

just a flip of her hair and handing you her phone to put your number in might not work this time

(spoiler: it would have totally worked, but for the sake of the au..)

so she starts learning about the things you like and casually dropping them in conversation

and then you ask a follow-up and she's like oh f this was NOT in the synopsis of the wiki article

throws a hand around you to gauge your reaction

and when you don't really move or get all nervous she's like hmmmmm......am i not having any effect on them?!?

basically, hot girl misreads the situation a billion times over

but she isn't really one to mope about - especially because regardless of it all she really likes you - so she keeps trying

and her energy just burst out one day and she's like

"maybe i don't know much about your hobbies but i like you so much that if you wanted to go bird watching i would totally go with you even though birds kind of freak me out!"

and you're like

"oh! i like you too :)"

and she's like HOW YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ANY SIGNS

and you're like oh im sor- but too late because who cares you like her back and now lia is kissing you

also later you're like we don't have to bird watch honestly i think cuddling and a movie sounds better and lia is like oh thank god

chaeryeong

doesn't know she's lovestruck until ryujin points out that she's doodled your name in hearts all over her notebook

kinda the definition of the 'stares at you until you fall in love with me' meme

her feelings are hard to voice since she's new to them and so when she's given the chance to be alone with you she kinda just

doesn't talk

ryujin and yuna try to pry conversation out of her but she just looks down and when you ask her something she only get kind of a mumble out of her

but she is lovestruck - she touches all the cat plushies when she's at the store with her friends because she knows you like them

she sees your favorite colors on clothes or in paintings or on the flowers that grow outside her apartment

and her mind always drifts and finds you

she used to space out and think of nothing or at least of what she's going to eat later on but now it's just little details about you

and once again, she's back to drawing your names in hearts, and once again the rest of itzy is like oh what are we going to do with her

the one thing that all of her lovestruck shyness does have going for her is that

she knows a lot about you - so when something is off and no one else can tell - she does

and chaeryeong kind of breaks her own worry about if you like her back or not to comfort you and when you ask her how she knew that something was wrong

she just says that you weren't glowing like you always do

"i glow to you?" you ask in confusion

chaeryeong without realizing once again that she's confessing to you:

"of course, you glow the brightest of all the people i know."

yeji

shoves her romantic feelings under her platonic feelings the way someone shoves the worst ingredient in a sandwich to the bottom

but wow is this yeji sandwich falling apart

because for her, love can only come from a real deep connection, so you obviously have to start off close before she even considers anything more

but with that friendship - comes all the things that start driving her a little mad

little touches, you leaning over to swipe your thumb over her lips when she's got crumbs

morning texts that remind her about how much you care and pay attention to her, asking about schedules and upcoming performances

and a level of comfortability that comes with you being in her space and her being ok with it, even though she blocks others from ever entering it

her lovestruckness ends up being a detriment because she starts getting jumpy and awkward when you do the things you've been doing for a while

flinching when you touch her, leaving you on read, stepping as far away as possible from you when you guys are in a crowded room together

she kind of knows she's pushing you away and it hurts but it hurts more to think she could ruin your friendship with telling you that four letter word that is WAY stronger than 'like'

also everyone in itzy getting mad at her in the gc like WHY ARE YOU PUSHING AWAY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

yeji: *sends an emoji*

lia, three seconds later knocking on yeji's door like let me in right now

it all comes to a point where you sadly ask if yeji doesn't want you to bother her anymore

and the pain on your face makes yeji's heart literally shatter in her ears and she's like no that's not it i just think i feel something different for you than before

and you're like different? and she make a face you've only seen maybe once before and you're like

"do you - love me?" and she immediately is like "no!" but you've known her for long enough to know that she wanted to say yes and it's a reflex

so you giggle and ask her again like are you sure? because if you do love me i love you back and yeji just

makes another cute, adorable face and you instantly know that one too

it's the 'im so happy i could cry' face

yuna

gets a lil.........weird

you talk with her and she's like wiggling? or vibrating?

she stretches out her hands and jumps around and you are like are you ok? and she's like im fine!

starts talking jibberish and pretending to be interested in the threads on chaeryeong's clothes instead of answering you

she's a little eccentric already so people don't pay too much mind but it just seemingly gets worse when you're around

itzy asks her what is happening and she's just like. i don't know. i just don't know what to say around them....

and they're like so you start acting like a piece of jello during an earthquake? and she's like .......... leave me alone

practices having a normal conversation with you in the bathroom mirror while she's brushing her teeth

but even then she ends up saying something weird or out of the blue because just the thought of you makes her brain go all fuzzy

lia is like practice with a real person like me ok

and yuna is like ok and she's like "hey, so do you want to um go on a like. .... like a.....maybe like a...."

and lia is nodding and nodding and nodding

and then yuna's just like "um....did you know twenty five thousand nerve endings in your inner ear?"

lia: the word was date. just say do you want to go on a date.

yuna: sorry :(

she tries to text you instead but it's like keysmashing and like seriously

what is going on with her

and then finally someone gets the bright idea that all yuna has to do is say her strange thing in front of you and if you guys like each other

shouldn't you be able to translate what she means?

yuna is convinced it won't work but she gets put in front of you and you're like smiling because well. yuna

and she's like hiiiiiiii um...i um......did you know giraffe's have purple tongues?

and you stare at her and she's flushing and everyone is waiting and you're like

"are you asking me on a date?"

itzy: cheering because you successfully translates yuna's lovesick language

yuna: how did you know?!?!

you: pfft, of course mentioning a giraffe has to mean romance right?

yeji: guys wait i think they might be in love but i think they also share the same braincell