#me: i only had them for one chapter but if something bad happens i'll cry

[wysteria-bloom]

𖧷 " such a lightweight "

What jjk character would do if you're drunk

Minors DNI

Warnings : f!bodied reader, female pronouns used, HIGHLY suggestive, sukuna can be a warning himself. I may have went a bit feral on Shiu's one but I can't help it okay 😥😥

Characters : toji, geto, gojo, nanami, sukuna, shiu, hakari

A/n : jjk manga is popping off rn bro most recent chapter made me cry. Sukuna was so sassy the whole time, unc has had enough of yuji's shit 😭

⟢ fushiguro toji ␥

This man has the most unimpressed expression on his face when he finds you stumbling through the front door, one of your high heels evidently missing whilst the strap of your dress was hanging on through pure will power.

It was amusing for a split second, but now he just felt bad. He walks over to you and fixes your dress strap, trying not to break out into a fond grin when your eyes brightened at the sight of him," Your friends suck." He states, reaching an arm behind you to shut the door," who makes a fuckin' woman walk home alone? I'll kill them..."

You instantly wrap your arms around his waist, resting your face in the crook of his neck. He froze briefly before leaning into the embrace," Don' be maaad.... they hic wanted to stay longer... but I missed you... hic... so I left..." you drawled out against his skin tiredly, inhaling his scent like it was air to you.

His heart clenched and he let out a low hum," that right?" He grumbled and slowly wrapped his large arms around you, his warmth all-consuming," shoulda messaged me, baby..."

"I know, I hic know... won' happen again... promise... pinky swear..." your eyes drooped lazily, you would definitely fall asleep standing up if your husband allowed it.

You were lifted from beneath your legs, his other arm wrapping around your back securely. He looked down at you with a slight quirk to his lips at the sight of your shocked expression," can't have ya droolin' on my shoulder, baby. A bed might be more comfortable, yeah?" He teased out gently as he began to lift you upstairs.

You found yourself only smiling up at him like an idiot," I fuckin' love you..." you drawled out.

That finally made his lips crack into grin, green eyes hazy with love," You're a cute drunk..."

"Say hic it back!"

"Nah, you gotta wait till morning for that."

"So rude." You snorted out, closing your eyes to fall into a deep slumber, not missing the way he mumbled 'love you' into your hair.

⟢ geto suguru ␥

"I wish you would tell me when you decide to get black-out drunk." The man sighed out like a disappointed parent as he squeezed some cleanser onto a cotton pad, raising a brow at his girlfriend in disdain," What if something had happened to you?"

You pouted at him," I was with Shoko..." you murmured drunkenly, blinking lazily up at him. Then you tugged the end of his shirt," take this off."

He snorted, pure amusement crinkling within his eyes," nah." Then he cupped your chin gently," stay still." He brought the cotton pad to your face, wiping away the makeup you had put on.

You groaned, cheeks flushed as you glared at him," You don't love me." You grunted out.

"Cause I won't take my shirt off?" He smirked, running the pad beneath your eyes gently.

"Uh huh."

"You're such a horny drunk, you know that?" He teased with that easygoing smile on his lips, shifting slightly to get in a more comfortable position, his legs wrapping around you as you sat in the middle of them," Why can't you be this horny when you're sober, huh?"

"Cause... I need to make you yearn for me."

He let out a low whistle, pretending to be impressed," You know that word? Crazy." He then blew away a stray eyelash on your face, smiling gently when you scrunched your eyes closed," keep 'em shut, pretty girl."

Your heart fluttered," Don't speak like that." You did as you were told however.

He wiped at the mascara on your eyes with a new cotton pad, the pad of his thumb that was holding your chin playing with your bottom lip annoyingly to make you pout," Why? Got you hot and bothered?" He droned out with that low tone of amusement.

"Manipulative creep." You bit the tip of his thumb but not enough to hurt him.

He chuckled and leaned forwards to press a warm kiss to your forehead," baby, if you keep insulting me I might not reward you for sitting so still~" He cooed out.

You sat even more still, letting go of his thumb," say less king."

"Absolute horndog."

⟢ gojo satoru ␥

Gojo looked on at you with a slight concerned glint in his eye, caressing your face lovingly with his hands as he placed kisses across your flushed face," so cute... you need to know how to pace yourself, pretty." He hummed out with that lightly teasing lilt to his voice.

You blinked at him drunkly, cheeks smooshed together by his hands," 'm... not drunk..." you denied, an obvious slur to your words as you narrowed your eyes cutely.

He chuckled lightly, gently pinching your cheeks and shaking his head lightly. His eyes shone with fondness, but also a hint of playfulness as he listened to your denial.

"Really now~?" Gojo inquired, his voice laced with an amused skepticism as he leaned in closer, peering at your warm face. His warm breath brushes against your skin, a subtle smirk on his lips," Maybe we need to get all this swaying checked out by a doctor then, huh?"

You frowned," Nooo... no hic doctor..." you then pressed a hand to his chest, giving him a distraught expression," Oka...okay... fine... I'll admit it, okay?... I'm drunk..." you whispered out like it was a well-kept secret.

Satoru found it adorable.

He smirked, tilting his head slightly as he continued to admire your drunken adorableness," There we go. Was that so hard to admit, huh?"

He then moved his arms to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer against him," So cute... my cute little drunkard..." He nuzzled his face against your much warmer one like you were a cute little animal.

"Shuddup... that's not an endearing nickname, ya know..." you groaned out but leaned into his affection nonetheless," yer... hic... a worse drunk than I am..."

At your claim, he gave a dramatic gasp, feigning offense, "Me? Worse than you? I'll have you know I'm much better at holding my alcohol than you are."

"Bitch no you're not." You reply sassily, raising a brow as you reached up and pinched his pale cheeks in return," last time you hic were drunk... you dropkicked a trashcan and dove into the trash."

"Hey, hey... that trashcan had it coming." Gojo protested, his cheeks squished between your hand. He leaned in closer, his smirk growing wider, "And even if I had a little bit too much drink that night, at least I didn't pass out on a public bench... like some people."

You pressed your forehead against his, nuzzling it in the most aggressive fashion you could muster, nose scrunched up in annoyance," Shut up... loser..." you whined out with a weary blink of your eyes, fatigue settling in.

God, he loved you.

He smothered you in his arms, your cuteness too much to handle for him as he ignored your insults to let you the hell go.

⟢ nanami kento ␥

You frowned up at the man in suspicion as he drove with that handsome frown on his lips, the furrow to his brow seemed like a natural expression for him.

"My husband... wouldn't be happy with you... driving me home..." you drawled out lazily, drunken eyes admiring his appearance despite your words.

Nanami, your husband, let out a hum, eyes glinting with amusement as he swiped the indicator to make a turn around the roundabout," Yeah? I'm sure he'll make an exception for me." He replied, deciding to go along with your drunken ramblings.

"Mmm... Hey," you muttered, your slender fingers tracing over the buttons of his shirt," why're you so handsome...?"

As you traced your fingers over the buttons of his shirt, he could feel the warmth emanating from your touch. "Genetic luck, I suppose," he quipped, glancing down at your hand as you continued to lightly graze his shirt. "Or maybe you just have a biased perspective when you're intoxicated."

You snorted," biased? Don't get ahead of yourself mister... I'm a married woman...." you slurred out, eyes blinking up at your husband hazily as you popped the first button on his collar teasingly.

He swallowed, trying to focus on the road as he clenched the steering wheel slightly," Ah, yes, my mistake," he played along, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. "A married woman with very wandering hands."

He glanced down at your hand briefly as you popped the first button of his collar, his eyes darkening slightly with desire, "Are you sure your husband won't mind you unraveling my shirt so easily?"

"I dunno... Maybe he won't mind cause you're so handsome..." you hummed, popping the second button, getting a good look at his sharp collar bone now. You wanted to lick it so bad," Hey... I'm... I'm super drunk... huh?"

He couldn't help but feel his pulse quicken as you continued to unbutton his shirt, revealing more of his chest. He let out a soft breath as your gaze raked over his collar bone, his own desire growing.

"Yes, very drunk," he agreed, tilting his head slightly to get a good look at your expression. "Drunk enough to tease your husband in the car, it seems."

"Oooh... so you're my husband..." you let that lazy grin spread across your lips, popping two more buttons and slipping a hand over the expanse of his chest, his shirt following your movements," I'm a lucky woman, aren't I?"

The car came to an abrupt stop, leafs of the trees scratching the top of the car with each blow of the wind. Nanami's hand came to your wrist, holding it gently and bringing it to his lips where he pressed a kiss to where your pulse was.

The look in his eyes sent warmth to your core as he gave you that gently tired smile he always does, head quirking to the side slightly," I think the backseats are calling our names, no?" He droned out lowly.

You never clambored to the backseats quicker.

⟢ ryomen sukuna ␥

"Ugh, you reek of alcohol, woman. How much have you had?" The curse grumbles out unamusedly, glaring down at the woman who was clinging to his arms like a lifeline.

"O-only one or two..." Then you smiled lazily," or two... three.... four five-"

"Fucking alcoholic." He snarked out a disgusted scrunch of his nose, not even wincing when you smacked his broad chest for that comment.

You pout up at him,"F-fuck you, okay? Fuck. You. I'm in my hot girl summer era and I hic don't need your old ass cramping my style." You slurred out, stumbling over your own feet.

Sukuna reached out and held you by your shoulders, glare softening into a deadpan expression," What are those words even."

"Old. Ass."

Rolling his eyes, he pulled your hair lightly in a reprimanding manner," Keep fucking flapping those pretty lips. See where it gets you." He murmurs," because that couch very much has your name on it right now."

"Whaaa?" You whined out, moving your arms to wrap around his waist, chin resting on his chest to look up at him," You'd kick me outta our bed?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Ughhh..." you buried your warm face into his chest, shaking your head," so mean... I was gonna offer a blow job as well but you've lost that privilege..."

He snorted, actually finding that sentence amusing as he scratched at your scalp with his sharp nails gently, just like you had taught him," would've been a fuckin' sloppy blowjob anyways."

"You love them, though."

"Mm." He didn't even deny it. Shameless. Then he looked to the side," You're too drunk. Wouldn't even be enjoyable for me." He replied, canting his head to the side curiously, it was almost cute to see him do it," You, however..."

You lifted your head up at the low tone to his voice, feeling your face heat up at the dark look in those garnet coloured eyes.

A smirk spread across his lips as he looked down at you, gripping onto your chin and leaning down close to your lips that he puckered with his thumb and pointer finger," It'll definitely be more enjoyable for you."

You blinked dumbly at his offer, head tilting like a lost puppy,"... How are hic you gonna give me a blowjob?" Then you gasped, gripping onto his jacket and shaking him back and fourth excitedly," You finally want to try pegging?!"

He growled, smacking you across the back of the head as he clawed your grippy hands away from him," no- NO. You fucking dolt! I was offering to go down on you!"

You rubbed at the back of your head," Domestic abuse isn't hot!"

"Never fucking mind you get nothing from me. NOTHING."

⟢ shiu kong ␥

"Oh so pretty... so so pretty... love you..." you kissed across your husband's face, leaving lipstick smudges everywhere as you blinked down at him drunkenly," My pretty husband... you put the stars to shame..."

Shiu only looked on in complete and utter amusement, unlit cigarette hanging from his lips," yer so fuckin' drunk." He stated with that shit eating grin on his face.

"Naw..." you pouted, kissing his nose," I had... One glass... of wine... promise m' not drunk..." you pecked his lip, getting more comfortable in his lap as you cupped his face like you were holding the fucking world in your hands.

"One glass of wine my ass," he chuckled, gently grabbing your wrists and turning his face to the side to keep you from planting even more sticky kisses onto his face. "I've seen you down an entire bottle of whisky and still stand straight and clear, and you're telling me one glass made you feel all fuzzy and sentimental like this?" he said jokingly, tilting his head to the side as his eyes flicked over your drunken expression as he set his unused cigarette to the side.

You pout down at him," Ehhhh... I feel like you don't trust me at all. Just believe what I say from now on, okay?" Fuck you were a delusional drunk, but it was adorable. You leaned close to his face again, wriggling your hands that were caught in his gentle grasp," Now lemme kiss you..."

Shiu had no choice but to indulge in your antics, especially when you looked this adorable being clingy.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled, wrapping his free hand around the back of your head, guiding it down as he pressed your lips against his own, kissing you with his signature slow, yet intimate pace.

You hummed happily against his lips, thighs pressing tighter against his as you leaned into the kiss completely.

Shiu always had a sensuality to his kisses and left you wanting more out of him every time.

You tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth teasingly.

He found it hard to resist himself as you teased him with soft nibbles, his hand on your head slowly making its way south, tracing along the curve of your body until he got to your hip, his fingers gently gripping onto the flesh as a quiet hum vibrated from his chest between the slow kisses.

"Watch it." Shiu murmured against your lips, his tone low and almost playful as he lightly squeezed the spot he was holding onto in warning.

"What're you gonna do huh? Gonna take advantage of your drunken wife?" She cooed out dangerously as she moved her hips against his, hands tangling into his hair," thought you were a gentleman..."

"Oh darlin'..." he chuckled at your cheeky remark, raising an eyebrow up at you as he suddenly used his grip on your hip to pull you closer to his hips, their forms now more intimately pressed together as he smirked up at you mischievously.

"I am a gentleman... Doesn't mean I'll let you tease me like that though." He smirked, tugging your head back a bit, his hot breath ghosting over the column of your throat.

You groaned lowly as your throat was exposed to him fully, shivers running up and down your spine. A hand reached out to grip onto his suit jacket," Fucking tease... indulge your wife a little, won't you? I'm the drunk one after all..." you pouted out, back arching and pressing her front to his.

"You're a big girl." he teased, lips running along the skin of your exposed neck, tracing along the soft flesh with languid but deliberate kisses, a low chuckle escaped his throat as he felt your body arching against his, his hand still gripping onto your hip, slowly but firmly guiding you to grind against his lap," A big girl who should learn to keep her teasing mouth in check." he added in between kisses.

"So mean... you're so mean..." She moaned, head thrown back in pleasure as her core grinded against his, feeling something twitch beneath her," why'd I marry you, huh?..."

He snorted haughtily, raising a brow in amusement, "Now you know damn well why you married me." he nipped on the skin at your neck, letting out a low, barely discernible groan of pleasure as he felt the friction between your bodies against the hardness in his trousers.

You panted heavily, hazy and drunken eyes looking down at him like he was a work of art," enlighten me..." you replied teasingly.

"I hope I don't have to remind you how good I treat you, every single night, love." he teased, his hand slowly making its way further under the thin fabric of your dress.

You bite your lip, your core clenching at those words," mmmn.... nothing wrong with a little reminder, now is there?" You drawled out, head tilting to the side suggestively as you spread your legs a little more to give him more access.

His eyes darkened with desire, his hands gliding higher under the hem of your dress, slowly but firmly caressing the soft and supple skin of your thighs, before they slowly made their way towards the apex of your legs.

"I s'pose there isn't."

Your world flipped as you were pressed against the couch, watching as the man above you sent you a wry grin, an eyebrow quirking at your eager expression," prepare yourself, honey~"

⟢ hakari kinji ␥

"The fuck are you blabberin' on about?" The male raised a brow at the woman below him as he tried to get her into pyjamas," Not even speaking Japanese at this point."

You frowned at him, glaring harshly," I said... you looked... really good tonight... but now I fucking take it back..." you drawled out drunkenly," You ugly fuck."

He let out a low low whistle," quite the potty mouth on ya." He hummed out, silently cheering to himself when he finally got the pyjama shirt over your head," Hey, sit up a sec."

"Fuck you."

"You sure you want that when you're drunk? I'd rock your world, doll." He teased out with that sly little grin on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his hands to your back to guide you into a sitting position.

"You perv." You grumbled out, not resisting against him as you settled your face into the crook of his neck lazily, placing absentminded kisses against his skin against your previous grievances against him.

Her kisses settled a fire in his stomach, but he pushed away the thoughts to the best of his abilities," I have such a pretty girl." He cooed out gently as his hands run underneath your shirt, unclasped your bra for you and helping you take it off in a way that perserved your modesty," Can you blame me for being a perv towards you?"

You sighed in relief when the boob trap was off of you and flopped back onto the bed, you hated sleeping with your bra on.

You looked up at him, watching him begin to take his jacket off, tossing your bra to the side lazily. Warmth clouded your cheeks and you found yourself smiling at him like an idiot.

Her noticed the expression and narrowed an eye, lips quirking up," What's got you lookin' all cute, huh?"

"I have such a pretty boy..." you repeated his words from earlier, pressing a hand to your cheek like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Hakari paused for a brief moment, that fire in his stomach a full blaze now. His fever hit him full pelt and the only way he could express those emotions was pinning you down and kissing you all over, feeling himself grin wryly at the sound of your happy laughs.

Hakari wrapped his arms beneath you, lifting you and then maneuvering himself so you sat in his lap. He ran his fingers up and down your spine gently," gonna be the death of me, doll."

"The feeling is mutual, doll." You cooed out against his ear.

"Such a lightweight." He snickered, pulling you into a loving embrace and nipping at your ear," love you."

"Mnn... love you the most."

[har-rison-s]

whatever you need | coryo snow x fem!reader

a/n: don't mind me, just eating pomelo and writing smut. i daydream about this piece every and all work day i have rn, it's pretty unhinged bcs i'm working as a gift wrapper for the holiday season and just staring ahead thinking of.... things. i'm technically an atheist, but i would need forgiveness for those thoughts. ANYWAY JEEZ. this took me like four days, help. i'm so insecure abt my smut writing, tho so ooohhh god am i actually dreading posting this. i'll just publish and run away from tumblr for a week. happy reading

talk to me about coryo here

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coryo masterlist main masterlist

word count: 7.2k (sawrry)

themes: smut

warnings / disclaimers: smut, unprotected p in v, brief mutual masturbation, cum eating (SCREAMING), fingering, crying, ENJOY jsdfjhsadsd

gif credit goes to owner <3

something strange was happening in the arena. something was being done to the camera feeds that were supposed to livestream every second of what was happening in it. only because something seemed to have gone wrong in the games y/n was stuck to the television screen in her living room slash lounge. her parents were called into urgent work in district three a few hours ago, so it was only her and some of the maids in the house. they kept to themselves, though, and were probably asleep in their quarters at the mansion’s far-end wing. except for the main housekeeper, who was adamantly guarding the entrance of the house, in case anyone came by.

her parents were counting on someone coming by - with the way she was recently behaving at school and with the rebel bombs, they were real worried about her well-being. she was always alone at home, because there was no one to bring home. except the dean, but he came by himself and only to serve his usual scolding and threats about y/n’s rebellious nature and behaviour at school. her parents hadn’t felt such worry for their daughter as they felt now since the war days. 

what soothed her mother’s worried heart and mind was the presence of the maids and the housekeeper. y/n appreciated their staying around and liked hearing noises made by someone else in the mansion, even if it was only a far-away creak of floorboards or a door closing. but she didn’t need anything from them, ever, she’d been very independent since her early childhood, and maids seemed like such an excess right now, an even backwards concept for y/n. her family employing them, unable to live without them, made her feel like the rich princess everyone deemed her being. 

y/n had felt fine being home alone until the feed from the arena turned strange. darker, blacker, and the audio seemed warped or otherwise manipulated. she’d caught sight of a familiar figure entering the arena – who was that? how did he get inside? who can tell... – and then the feed changed. there was nothing much she could see, but her eyes had been glued to the screen of her television for the past half hour, anyway. all the while she was straining her eyes to try to see who it was, and at some point that figure was joined by another by Sejanus’ tribute Marcus’ bruised and wounded body, and then the feed darkened nearly completely. 

she sat in her sofa in an embryo pose, blanket over her stressed form, covering her back and the bare feet and legs that the knitted bedtime jumper couldn’t. she realized the gamemakers or the Capitol were trying to hide something, nothing else could explain the feed changing and audio going wobbly and earning static in the process. 

the bell ringing at the front door startled her so bad that y/n gasped and jerked in her position on the sofa. her head whipped in its direction and she watched two figures entering her family’s mansion from the far end of the hallway. she could already tell who the two were, but she remained sat on the sofa, her legs unmoving out of anxiety. she shut off the television and just watched them walk towards her through the unlit hallway, arms wrapping around her knees underneath her beloved blanket.

“ms y/l/n, a mister Snow is here, for you,” the housekeeper announced as she and Coriolanus entered the living room, Coriolanus stumbling into the room more than walking into it. he looked like he was falling to pieces. his breath was heavy, hair and academy uniform in disarray, face just... bewildered. y/n nodded at her housekeeper, extended her arms towards Coryo like a child reaching for its favourite toy and sniffled quietly.

“thank you, Nora,” she told the housekeeper, “please leave us. you can go to bed, i won’t need anything else for the night.” she said in a hushed voice and the housekeeper nodded, knowing to listen to the child of her employers. y/n hated giving anyone orders, much less this spectacular lady, but she did want to be alone with Coryo. and by the look of him, she could tell he couldn’t be around anyone else but her. he was a man of privacy, after all.

as soon as Nora shut the door behind her and left for the maids’ quarters, Coryo accepted the plea in y/n’s extended arms and stumbled over to her on the sofa. “i—i’m sorry,” he said the first words out of breath, in a voice so broken and frail that y/n’s lips twitched downwards and she felt the need to cry, “i didn’t know where else to go, i couldn’t... i couldn’t f-face anyone else...” as he sat down before y/n’s bare feet peeking out from the blanket, she noticed in the poor lighting of the room that his clothes were dirty. there were cuts in his shirt, dirt, gravel, sand... blood. 

“what happened?” her voice wouldn’t go any louder than a whisper, and her lips were turning into a pout as she looked Coryo over, her meek hands reaching out for him but unsure whether she should touch him or not. he could fall apart like the frailest glass, it seemed, if anything touched him right now. his face was bruised. there were small cuts on his cheek, blood on his chin. she noticed how they had already been taken care of.

Coryo still took heavy breaths, but finally he felt like his vision was real and not fooling him, and he took in his surroundings. the dim lighting in the posh room, y/n’s bare feet touching his red academy pant leg, her legs pulled up to her chest under a cute throw-blanket in the pastel colour of chocolate milk, her small hands reaching out to him, unsure, unsteady. he lifted his head to look at her, and the expression on her face made his heart lurch in his chest. her glassy eyes – no doubt matching his –, the pout on her lips, her rosy cheeks, eyebrows scrunched in worry and confusion. he could never decline that face. “dr Gaul sent me inside the arena to get Sejanus out,” he finally said, and he spoke in a whisper tone that could only be meant for secrets, “but the tributes heard us... i’m not sure i should even be telling you about this at all,” he admitted.

y/n shook her head. “your secret’s safe with me,” she assured with a gentle nod.

“yes, but dr Gaul—” Coryo began, but she interrupted him in the voice of a faint whisper. 

“i know how terrifying she is,” y/n persisted, “she won’t know that i know.” she said even quieter and looked, really looked, into Coryo’s eyes, and nodded gently again at him. he searched her eyes for a few seconds, weighing the risk of her knowing this, trying to decide if he should tell her more or just cut short here. but really. she’s a loose end and she knows it. it’s not like dr Gaul was in high thoughts of y/n or deemed her more valuable than any other student, and her nature played a big part in that opinion of the young girl. how would she know that y/n found out about this night in the arena? she wouldn’t. it would never come up in conversation. y/n wasn’t part of this.

“the tributes heard us,” Coryo started to say as he sat closer to y/n, his body turned to face her, and almost loomed over her. he’s always been much taller than her, and sometimes that played a part in their dynamic. he took her hands in his above her bent knees and the blanket. he licked his lips and y/n searched his eyes, his... stoic blue eyes. there was a change in them, “they came after us and i...” he shook his head, “i didn’t want to hurt him,” Coryo’s voice broke and his head dropped onto y/n’s covered knees. 

she heard a sob from him, and it shook her entire form, making her gasp quietly. she’d never seen him cry before. the night on the rooftop, in the garden, she knew he was close to it, but she knew he’d never let his pride down so much that he’d let anyone see him cry. and Coryo didn’t feel so good about crying now, about opening himself up to her like this, he felt disgusted with himself. but he also couldn’t stop. and he couldn’t hide everything from her, after all. 

y/n shuffled around until her legs were tucked under herself and she moved closer to Coryo, taking his scarred cheeks between her small hands and lifting his face up so he would see her. she knew she made him nervous usually, but she calculated that that effect flipped around on itself when he was in this state, or one similar to this. breaking apart. feeling vulnerable. beaten down. she looked into his eyes and he back into hers, not really having any other choice. she had this compelling power over him, even if he didn’t want to admit it, and he didn’t want to hide from her. not really.

his breathing slowed down as he just looked into her wondering beautiful orbs, full of so much determination, courage and kindness. she was almost smiling at him, even though she wanted to cry, too, and her eyes were glassy with produced tears, but she wanted to appear strong for him. because right now he really needed a strong anchor to hold onto, he was the one in need of support. y/n took that role mainly in their friendship-relationship, especially at school, when she got herself in trouble, or at home, when her parents were giving her an earful about her irresponsibility and all the jazz they usually gave her an earful about.

last time Coryo and y/n saw each other, she realized he had the ability to ground her. and now she realized she had the ability to ground him, because by looking into his eyes she could see his emotions and mood changing by the second. and all because she’s holding him, and he’s looking into her eyes. he didn’t need much more than that. 

and yet maybe he did. he didn’t know which part of him had the urge, but all of him acted on it by ducking forward and kissing her on the lips. he could taste the sweat she had made on her lips out of stress, and the blueberry tartlet she must have had as a late snack not too long ago. and his hands couldn’t keep away anymore, either, they were taking hold of her face like hers was holding his cheeks between them. y/n would have gasped at his sudden action if she had any air to breathe, and she sighed heavily when he did give her a split second of air after fiery kisses to her delicious lips. 

he kept his eyes on her as he pulled his academy blazer off and threw it to the ground beside the couch, then came back closer to her, one hand on her cheek and the other pulling the adorable blanket off her legs. y/n placed a palm on that hand of his, which made Coryo furrow his eyebrows and look at her with puzzled eyes. didn’t she want this, too? she gulped, eyes averted from his shyly. “i’d rather we talked about it, Coryo,” she admitted and looked back at him carefully, eyes so un-knowing and yet more clever than most people’s. Coryo tilted his head slightly at her words. 

his hands took the bull by its horns, pulling the blanket fully away and welcoming the night air of the mansion upon y/n’s bare legs, making her gasp again. Coryo used the moment of surprise to his advantage and pushed her down on the sofa, sneaking in between her legs like the slippery mastermind he was, and he slid a hand under her knitted jumper, raising goose-bumps in his wake across her stomach and waist. y/n hated that she felt aroused, meaning she felt exactly how he wanted her to, was right where he wanted her, but she couldn’t exactly pull away. she hated being at someone’s mercy, but.... it was Coryo.

she surprised him when he found she wasn’t wearing a bra under her jumper, nothing was standing between his greedy hands and her naked breasts now, though her not wearing a bra at home wasn’t exactly a surprise. it’s just that his inexperienced self was shocked to find a part of her naked, and right there, at his disposal. watching her face, he placed his palm over one of her breasts and ran his thumb over her nipple, which hardened immediately under his touch. and her face, oh, the expression on it was to die for. eyes softly shut, eyebrows gently spasming as she was feeling something very new to her, her teeth biting her lower lip, cheeks turning more red and no doubt burning up. Coryo placed a kiss on her bare stomach, just above the elastic of her underwear, and watched her still as she whimpered for the first time. her thighs fidgeted around him, feet unsurely digging into the soft cushions of her couch—she really didn’t know what to do with herself and these sensations she was experiencing. 

“i’d rather we didn’t,” he said to her finally, though his actions were more than enough of a response to what she said, but she hardly heard him now. there was a gentle static in her ears, and heat all over her writhing form. her pure, supple, untouched form. all for him to touch, to explore. Coryo took his shirt off in a hurry, as if y/n might disappear if he had his hands off her for a second longer, and returned to her half-naked body a hungrier man. hands raking the insides of her thighs, he kissed her again, hot lips making their conversation just moments ago seem like the far past, making her almost forget it happened. y/n could hardly feel her legs, though she knew this was just the beginning, and she wrapped her arms around Coryo’s frame and held onto him as he moved his slender torso against her chest. she could feel the bones of his hips jutting against her own, his growing crotch pressing against her panty-covered soaking cunt, teasing her, making her pant heavily and whimper like a kitten. 

having her like this satiated the hunger that rose from the deep hole he’d created inside himself, gnawing at him like a big black hole with eager, starving claws. every stroke of his hips against hers beat the monster down but dangled the bait in front of it at the same time, leaving him in quite the paradox. this was more than enough, yet Coryo knew he could go further with y/n, further than enough, and that she’d let him. everything in him wanted to, and he couldn’t stop himself. adrenaline was pumping blood from his heart into his veins, she was available and the only one who could help with the hole growing inside him. 

but y/n couldn’t go further without another word spoken. he was avoiding her question, he was avoiding the whole last hour of this night. “Coryo,” she whispered softly as his lips kissed at her neck, tongue sweeping over a particularly bruised-with-kisses spot on her sculpture-like skin, he was an animal let loose. and his affections almost made her forget what she wanted to ask, and she thought maybe she doesn’t really want to know. but y/n sighed, trying to clear her mind, “tell me what happened,” she plead in a quiet voice and it made Coryo raise his head and look into her eyes again. 

he framed the side of her face with only a hand, his thumb on her chin and the rest of his palm splayed across her burning cheek. he loved seeing the look of lust and confusion on her face, in her eyes most of all. the pads of his fingertips softly pushed into her skin. “no,” he remained stubborn, and y/n would have been surprised to have him do otherwise. she gulped softly, hoping he wouldn’t feel it, but no, he felt every motion any part of her made now. his mind came up with a new idea as he slid a hand of his across her stomach, making a wave across her supple body, and then he reached her underwear. he knew, like everyone else did sort of matter-of-factly, that women were to be touched there. he knew it was the spot in her with which he could get her full attention. and he also knew he’d have to fabricate having experience in this field for y/n. he didn’t want her to think him inexperienced, which he was exactly, or least of all that he’s experimenting with her—which was also what he was doing. so he improvised by cupping her warmest place in the body, and he felt an immediate reaction. her thighs fidgeted around his waist again and her stomach lurched. her eyes shut, but he wanted to see them, “open your eyes,” Coryo urged her, and y/n had to force herself to comply, her beautiful eyes looking into his again. they held eye contact as he ran his middle finger in a straight line between her clothed folds, and he watched as her face contorted, caused by the new strange and pleasant feelings. she felt like warm honey on his fingers, “right now all i need is to feel you,” he told her and did the same motion with his finger again, only this time slower, making it pleasurably agonizing for her, coaxing quiet whimpers from her lips, “and this tells me you need it, too.” 

god, she hated that he was right. at first it was want, she wanted him to stay over, to touch her, to feel her, to do things to her that no one else had ever before. now, she felt so desperate for it that she felt she could explode if she didn’t get what seemed to be promised to her. the want grew to need. she wanted to shake her head, wanted to push him off—that would really be characteristic to her. but instead she brought herself to really look into his eyes and nod in response. Coryo’s lips almost made a smile or a grin, almost, she caught the ghost of it in the corner of his lips before he kissed her again. “alright, Coryo,” she whispered against his lips, “but if you don’t touch me properly right now, i willkick you out of my home.” she said surely, admitting to her desperation without shame and in turn – with pride, and now Coryo grinned. her feistiness was one of the things he liked about her, and it coming out in this setting was more than he could have asked for. in a weird way it got him going. 

y/n placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and kept him close to her as he reached his hand into her underwear, breaching into unexplored territory. she was all the warmer for him, and soaking wet. he hummed, their lips nearly touching, but not completely. it was torture for him. he wanted to devour her lips, her whole face, her whole existence. her lips were like the food of life for him, the sounds she made music to his ears and air in his lungs. “you’re just perfect for me,” he confessed to her in a shudder and y/n smiled lightly. his fingers ran through her naked warm folds, just testing the waters, until they found the opening between them, where the wetness and warmth were seeping from. Coryo would have dropped his head onto her shoulder if her hands weren’t holding it up right, but he just felt like he lost his damn mind at how incredible her walls felt around his fingers, and he could collapse right there on top of her. 

“Coryo,” she sang his nickname in a beautiful moan when two fingers prodded inside her, beating any expectations she had about this beforehand. they were long and thick, touching every inch of her, it felt like, and reaching just far enough. she was barely holding onto him, and her body was reacting to his touches immediately. hips moving, back arching, thighs squeezing his body between them, breaths shuddering. 

“no one’s done this to you before, have they?” Coryo asked, but he hardly needed an answer. by the way she was reacting, he could tell that she’d never felt like this before. y/n shaking her head at his question was merely the last dot on the confirmation, yet it still made him more aroused. knowing he was the first one to do this to her, with her. he grazed her upper wall with his finger pads, being careful not to let his nails scrape her, and it brought a moan from her that he’d never heard anyone make. guttural, coming from the very depths of her lungs, her vocal cords, from her very core. it made him shudder. he repeated the motion, slower one time, then faster the next, all the while watching her reaction. he loved seeing her eyes shut, her cheeks become redder, her lips parting, stretching, pushing breaths and whimpers out from between them. Coryo felt one of her hands sliding up into his hair, and he groaned. her hips bucked and she grabbed onto his perfect curls between her fingers when he reached farther inside her with his two fingers, and it made them both moan into each other’s mouths, y/n letting his lips rest over hers. he’d reached that great point inside her, feeling her hot and spongy against his digits. it’s almost like she was sucking him in. “you’re so good for me,” Coryo told her and y/n whimpered at the praise. 

“more, please,” she begged with no shame and Coryo obliged, picking up the pace of his fingers and massaging over her folds with his thumb all the while. when he accidentally grazed over her clit, y/n made a high-pitched moan of the utmost sensitivity, and he knew he’d done the right thing. and by accident, no less. he was on the winning team, “Coryo,” she cried with her eyes shut and he noticed a tear on her cheek, kissing over it immediately. next his lips were on hers again, lapping at her tongue with his own like the starving man he was, knowing nothing of tomorrow or the next hour, just so engulfed in her that he knew nothing else. she was the perfect getaway.

he could feel her body behaving in a different way, thighs trembling around him, walls squeezing his hand in, hands nearly powerless, chest shuddering. she wasn’t far off her release, he guessed. with another press to the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her cry, Coryo once again watched her reaction in amazement. but he didn’t want to feel her release like this, he needed them both different. Coryo pulled his fingers away, once again making y/n cry out, this time in the most desperation she could manage, and she looked up at him with pleading, tearful eyes. he offered her a gentle smile and moved down her body, dragging her underwear with him. down her legs and away, the light pink garment went, and y/n bit her plump lip in anticipation as she watched him. 

Coryo tucked her underwear into the trousers of his academy uniform that he was still wearing and returned to her body, laying kisses across her thighs on his way up to her. y/n squirmed under and around him, mewled, muttering his name in a mewl here and there, relishing in the feeling of his lips on her untouched skin and his hands roaming all over her body, under her jumper, over it, trying to cover every inch of her. she hated that he had stopped touching her right when she was closest to that one sacred edge she wanted so badly to reach, he was teasing her, taunting her, testing her waters. it was clear to her that he had never done this to another girl before. Coryo was just like her, and yet he’d put up a different façade. 

he dug his fingers into the flesh of her naked hips, which made y/n throw her head back into the sofa cushions, baring her delicious-looking neck to Coryo. he used that to his advantage, licking and kissing at the skin of her neck which he had already bruised marked with his lips just moments ago, he was devouring her with a hunger only she could really satiate, and yet he couldn’t get enough of her. his growing crotch pressed against her bare cunt, and y/n gasped at the feeling. eyebrows scrunched, cheeks and lips red and puffy, she looked up at Coryo again, and he returned the gesture. he took one of her hands in his and guided it down to between them, where he was growing harder and in size, it seemed, watching her face all the while and taking notice of her biting down on her lower lip in anticipation. Coryo made her feel him through his trousers, and he couldn’t hide the effect her touch had on him - shuddering throughout his whole body, eyelids fluttering, he was barely able to utter the next words, but he did so in a quiet voice. “feel what you do to me?” 

y/n nodded with lustful eyes, hungry like the wolf for the boy above her. her boldness came back and with it y/n unzipped Coryo’s custom-made trousers and reached into his boxers to really feel him. he had girth and he was solid, she could feel that all with her hand on him. she was making him a panting mess, giving his length a sure stroke, Coryo’s head falling into the crook of her neck and him moaning, though she knew the piece of his pride that died for him to do that. he hardly let anyone see his inner world, his true feelings, so for him to be this vulnerable with her took a great deal of courage. “do i make you... feel like this often?” y/n asked quietly, and Coryo nodded with a whimper as her finger flicked over his tip, pink and sensitive. y/n wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked up and down, slowly, looking at his face all the while, wishing she could see his beautiful eyes now, see the emotions swimming around in the blue of them.

Coryo fisted the pillow right beside her, heavy breaths leaving his parted lips, “yes, yes, yes, god, yes,” he chanted in her ear as the pace of her strokes grew faster, and y/n could feel each breaths in his lungs against her own, his chest rising and hitting against her so intensely. she’d made him crumble beneath her so quickly, it surprised her, “i need you, y/n, i need to feel you,” Coryo confessed and managed the strength to raise his head and look at her again. he was too afraid to utter the phrase i need to be inside you, feeling just too shy all of a sudden to say that. the look on his face was pure desperation, he looked like he could start crying the next moment, and y/n’s heart lurched in her chest at seeing that. seeing and recognising that she could make him as desperate as he’d made her. that she could make him small, “no one’s ever made me feel like this before,” he confessed more, breaking his own façade down, and y/n smiled at him sheepishly. she knew, of course, that what he said was true. she knew everything about him.

“you have me,” she assured him and brought him out of the confine of his boxers, making Coryo breathe in relief. he had felt so restricted in his own clothes, “but god, Coryo, will you fit? you feel too big in my hand,” y/n said shyly and bit down on her lip again, a habit that Coryo had noticed her having for quite a while now, and he looked down between them two. y/n knew her comment went straight to his growing ego, but she just couldn’t resist teasing him a little. and when he caught onto it, he looked at her again, with a smile on his lips this time. she grinned wide and giggled before she took his face in her hands and kissed his lips, as if it was her first time doing so. simple, loving, affectionate. 

suddenly she fully took in the look of his naked torso, his amazingly sculpted shoulders and arms, his pearly chest... the sight of him was so breath-taking and delicious that she nearly forgot all her other surroundings. Coryo, though the look her eyes were giving him flattered him so, took the bull by its horns again and pushed the very tip of his hard length through her folds, where her warm opening welcomed him. y/n felt a strain while Coryo felt the beginning of a true release, but he noticed her awkward expression, felt her hold on his face falter, and he paused his movements to just check in. 

“alright?” he asked quietly, as he couldn’t tell what to do next by her face, “too big for you?” he teased and it made them both smile, then erupt into mad giggles in unison. y/n would never have expected Coryo to have humour in a moment like this, but she was relieved that he did, and god did it make the whole thing easier. she wasn’t worried, wasn’t anxious anymore, wasn’t feeling insecure about any aspect of herself anymore. except the thing she’d heard that happened to most women on their first time – the bleeding, the pain, his reaction to it. those were the few things she wanted to avoid happening. but if Coryo was his sweetheart-self, then she had no bad reaction to worry about. she was glad he was the person she was doing it for the first time with, she’d really lucked out.

“just a little,” she finally answered after their giggle fit while holding each other in their arms, “try going deeper,” she urged in a hushed voice, and Coryo complied, adjusting his hips forward, slowly, not to accidentally hurt her more. he couldn’t deny how incredible this felt, how incredible she felt around him, her walls sucking him right in so tightly, “ohmygodohmygod,” y/n pushed the words out in a quick breath, feeling a burn and stretch inside of her at the size of him. she didn’t have anyone to compare Coryo to, and no one else had been inside her before, but he felt big enough. 

Coryo appreciated her arm on his back, her nails digging half-moons into his pearly skin, and her other hand splayed across his cheek, thumb almost digging a hole in his cheek. “you feel so perfect around me,” Coryo praised against her parted lips, and y/n could only look at him with strain and tears in her eyes as he inched himself further and further inside, her face changing by every inch, it seemed, until he had bottomed out with a groan and she’d only felt a momentary sting of pain. and the worst part was over—what a miracle it was that it had been so quick for her, she’d expected otherwise. Coryo could see the immediate relaxation on her features, and he smiled. 

he kissed away her fallen tears, but more kept falling from her eyes and y/n could only explain them as being happy tears, though she scolded herself for being so emotional in a meaningful moment like this. but maybe it was just right. Coryo smiled at her and she could see his orbs being glossy, too, and she was glad. it was no wonder, really, taking how shaken he was when he came into her home and sat down on her couch beside her. he was still in turmoil, but that didn’t matter now. he had her. 

“can i try... moving? you feel alright?” he asked her in a whisper. this slow thrust inside her had already felt like heaven, he couldn’t wait to repeat it over and over and over. 

y/n nodded, “yeah, go ahead,” she said and Coryo complied. she took in the feeling of him pulling out gently, slowly... teasingly. he was grinning, she saw, and she shook her head in disbelief as a beautiful smile adorned her features. and then he thrust inside her again, stuffing her walls with his great length, making her back arch and moans that she’s never made before escape her lips. he could hardly concentrate, but he didn’t want to miss all the different facial expressions she would make, the look in her eyes, while he made love to her now. he made himself keep his eyes open as he began to move rhythmically now. 

y/n’s legs wrapped around his waist, engulfing him in her more and more, and each of his thrusts earned him a squeak from her from the movements. god, he just adored her beyond measure. she was everything he needed now, and later, and forever. Coryo kissed her neck, licked at it, as he had before, and it only made her moan more, each moan in its own unique high or low pitch, and dig her fingers into whichever part of his skin she was holding. Coryo adored her touches, they turned him on, and he wanted her hands on him always, they were a lifeline. his hands gripped her waist, her sweater bunched just above them, only covering her arms and her breasts, though barely even those from how much Coryo was moving her.

“you're doing so good for me,” he breathed into her ear, and the praise only spurred her on. she clenched around him, and it made Coryo break his focus completely, his head dropping onto y/n’s chest, where he breathed hot air onto her skin, “i’m sorry, i think i’m close,” he confessed, and y/n raised his face with her hands, looking at him with puzzlement across her face. 

“me too, it’s okay,” she assured him and then took one of his hands in hers and lead it down to where their bodies met. she laid his palm over the bulge that had formed in her lower stomach from him. the sight and feel of it made Coryo groan, getting him all the more closer to his release. 

“fuck, that’s amazing,” he said into her neck, and y/n nodded.

“you’re so big, Coryo,” she complimented him again and felt his dick twitch inside her at the words, “made a bump in me,” she put it into words and it made the boy nearly lose his mind. then she guided his hand just a little lower and pressed his hand onto her clit, where he recalled was her most vulnerable point, “come on, touch me. we’ll do it together,” she urged him on in the sweetest of angel voices and Coryo didn’t need to think twice before complying. he loved her ordering him around a little, it was much needed tonight especially. 

he pressed his thumb against her clit as his hips had nearly reached their fastest pace, and watched as her face twisted in pleasure. eyes shutting, lips spasming, closing, opening, teeth biting, voice singing out to him. “oh, Coryo,” she called his name and he felt it go straight to his heart. there wasn’t much more that he needed in order to come now, and he prided in himself for lasting so long at all, all the while feeling a little ashamed about it. he wanted this to last longer. but since he could tell she was coming, too, his thumb drawing harsh circles on her clit to bring it on, he revelled in them both finishing at once. 

“fuuuck, y/n, i love you,” he whimpered into her ear as he spilled himself inside her tightly-squeezing walls while y/n all but chanted his nickname like a mantra. her hands almost drew blood on his back from how tightly she held onto him, and she shuddered around him at the feeling of her own release coating his entire length. her thighs trembled and she panted heavy breaths against his neck. she’d almost missed his quiet confession, she’d actually heard it amidst their joined euphoria, but she had thought it a hallucination. 

but that assumption dissipated as she came to and looked up at Coryo, whose eyes were worriedly, with tears streaming from them, looking down at her. she quickly moved her hands to his cheeks and tried to sit up in their awkward position. best she could do was position herself higher on her pillow against the sofa’s armrest, and she gulped. “you love me?” she echoed in the smallest of voices, searching his eyes. they were worried, fearful. what if he’d said the wrong thing? what if she felt different about him, different than what he felt about her? what if he’d said it too soon? what if he’d just ruined all this with her? 

but he did love her. he was sure of it. so he nodded, his curls bouncing with the confirming movement. y/n ran her hand over them and smiled wide at him. 

“you love me,” she said again, surely this time, in a happy tone of voice. as if she’d discovered the best, most well-wishing secret in the whole world. and perhaps that’s what it was. her favourite secret about Coryo was that she knew he loved her, “i love you, too,” y/n told him before he could assume otherwise, and kissed his trembling lips. Coryo felt on top of the world. he had said the right thing, he’d played his cards right, he’d told her how he felt. of course, his actions spoke volumes, but hearing him say it in words meant the world to y/n. 

“thank god, you had me worried there for a bit,” Coryo half-joked between their kisses, and it made her laugh. she pulled back from his lips and admired the boy above her. forehead glistening from sweat in the dim lighting, curls messily falling over his beautiful face, his pearly chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. 

“who would i be without a little suspense, huh?” she asked and smiled at him again. she could see complete love and devotion in his eyes, two things she’d seen on his face only partly or half-meant before, and only towards herself. Coryo used the moment of silence to pull out of her and stuff himself back into his trousers. sitting against the sofa cushions to do it, he glanced at her cunt and saw it leaking with his white substance. y/n looked at him with sultry eyes and her teeth biting her lower lip, arms crossed over her chest, and she spread her legs just a little further to tease him with a wider look, “like what you see?” she asked quietly.

he just gave her eyes of total surrender, he was waving the white flag for giving up and he took a deep breath. y/n giggled as Coryo shook his head in disbelief and lowered his face down to her center, once again giving her anticipation. “you look so pretty,” he complimented and ran a finger through her folds, making her shudder as more of the snow-white liquid pooled out and coated her cunt, “pretty with me dripping out of you,” Coryo sneaked a glance up at her and saw the clear-as-day lust in her eyes. feeling that animalistic urge take over him again, he brought out his tongue and lapped up each drop coming out of her. y/n felt sensitive, sore, and Coryo was giving her a mix of both pleasure and pain as he drank at her. she had him right where she wanted him. the question was – would he stay there? 

his tongue prodded at her entrance just a tad, heightening her sensitivity, and he moaned against her folds at her shudder under him, giving her folds a kiss over once he was done. he wanted to leave most of his spill inside her, only having lapped up and gulped down what was excess. sitting up before her, between her legs, Coryo licked his lips and leaned over her form. y/n pulled him in for a kiss, and could taste something salty and something sweet all at once on his lips and tongue. it was both of them. 

“will you please stay?” y/n asked her in her small voice again, looking into Coryo’s eyes. she hoped to not find any resistance or decline, and her hopes were fulfilled. “please,” she plead more as he teased her with his silence. he nodded, and it made her smile wider than ever. he would stay over, like he promised her he would someday. it meant he didn't view her only as a secret anymore. maybe they could even go to Heavensbee hall tomorrow together, maybe hand in hand... “why did you say sorry? about being close?” she reminded him of the few moments before their euphorias. Coryo bent his head low for a moment. 

“just felt embarrassed,” he answered, “about not lasting long. i just... i just wanted this to last longer for you,” he told her and managed to look at her again. y/n made a comforting face and stroked the side of his face. she understood. 

“yeah, but it’s okay,” she assured him, “there will be other times,” she pointed out and laid a kiss to his cheek, “it was your first time, so please don’t worry your beautiful head over it.” Coryo managed a ghost of a smile just for y/n to kiss him and make his smile more life-like. “you did good, Coryo.” those words of praise went straight to his dick again, and he blushed. she had made him blush. y/n giggled. 

“you did great, too,” Coryo told her and kissed her hair, “thank you. i never would have wanted to do this with anyone else but you,” he confessed as they held tight eye contact. y/n’s heart surged at his words. 

“me too. i’m glad it was you,” she said and it made Coryo smile with shut lips, “now, can i get my underwear back?” she’d made a joke again, and Coryo felt like playing along further. 

“no, i’m keeping it,” he said in a hushed voice, shaking his head and y/n made a playful pout. she’d want to make him think he could keep it and that she’d steal it back later, but she couldn’t. Coryo having her underwear in the pocket of his academy trousers made her feel somehow proud. a piece of her with him wherever he goes. and if he went home and stashed them somewhere in his wardrobe cabinet, that would be fine, too. she loved knowing her underwear was a token for him. 

she only said, “alright,” and took his hand in hers, “let’s go shower and then to bed. you’ve exhausted me.” she admitted and Coryo took it as a compliment. he wanted this treacherous-turned-great day to end, too, and she was the cherry on top of it all. he wouldn’t have gone home tonight for anything. 

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[penkura]

last forever [6/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Note: This got away from me, it's over 6k words, I'm so sorry. But, here's Robin and a bit of development between our lovely couple, I suppose. I do love Zoro, I promise.

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5]

“Looks like we've shaken them.”

A round of whines from your crewmates is heard, making you smile slightly.

“You guys should be happy.”

Another whine, this time making you giggle while Zoro stares at everyone else.

“Stop that. What's wrong with you all?”

“I miss her!!”

Leaving Alabasta the way you did, barely able to say goodbye to Vivi and Karoo, with her decision to stay in the kingdom rather than join you all at sea, it was rough. You missed her greatly too, but understood her choice and accepted it. You still had Nami, at the very least it wasn't just you and a bunch of boys.

“If you wanted her to stay, you should've taken her by force!”

Hearing the insults everyone throws towards Zoro makes you laugh, even as he looks up at you on the upper deck in annoyance. You wave with a smile still on your face before he looks away. Strangely, things haven't changed much between you since he told you nothing romantic would be happening. Sometimes you feel an ache in your chest when you look at him, thinking about it, but you've come to accept Zoro probably would never take back what he said or try to court you. Once you had some kind of response from your parents, you two would sign your annulment papers and move on, living as crewmates instead of faking being husband and wife for your safety.

“I do agree with Zoro, you guys,” your smile softens as everyone looks up at you in surprise, “I love Vivi too, but if we wanted her to come along, we should've just kidnapped her.”

“[Y/N]!”

“Of course, that would've made us worse criminals,” jumping down from the upper deck, you stand beside Zoro with your arms crossed, “so it's better we let Vivi stay like she decided to. We'll see her again.”

While the rest of the crew agrees with you, Zoro is surprised you're being so agreeable with him after your discussion the other night.

Well ‘discussion’ is putting it lightly and in more positive terms. Sanji confronted him the next morning and mentioned how you'd ended up in tears over what Zoro said to you, making your temporary husband feel bad for a bit. He hadn't meant to make you cry, he was just telling you the truth. Romance was the farthest thing from his mind, it shouldn't even be in yours right now. There are too many other things to worry about, your goals and helping Luffy become King of the Pirates were the main ones. Helping everyone else with theirs was secondary, romance or anything like that was so far out of his mind, he never thought of it being a thing he'd have to worry about.

When he looks at you, all you do is smile, before Zoro shakes his head to move on and get those thoughts that you're still upset out of his head. You probably are, but it's not something to worry about right now.

“Looks like we finally escaped the firing squad.”

“Yeah, finally.”

“Excellent work, swordsman.”

The newest voice makes you all freeze in shock before everyone starts to freak out. Your hand is on your sword but Zoro is in front of you before anything happens, the rest of your crew moving into position against the dark haired woman on board. You barely recognize her as Crocodile's partner Ms. All Sunday, and you're curious about her reasons for being on your ship.

While Sanji swoons over her, Nami and Chopper start to hide behind you behind Zoro, Usopp is shouting warnings, and Luffy is shouting questions, Nico Robin does little more than smile, before saying she wants to join the crew, giving her reason being that Luffy saved her life back in Alabasta.

“I was determined to die, and you saved my life. That's your crime. So I decided I would join you.”

“Well,” Luffy nods and crosses his arms, “Guess it can't be helped. Welcome aboard!”

“Luffy!!”

The next little while is spent with everyone quickly changing their minds about Robin, for the most part. Usopp interrogates her but still believes her to be dangerous, until she pulls a trick with her Devil Fruit powers making him, Luffy, and Chopper burst out laughing. Sanji is smitten simply due to her being a woman, and Robin handing over a bag of jewels to Nami has them in each other's good graces.

Zoro intends to hold out, he's not going to trust her so easily when she was out to get you all until just a few minutes ago. He halfway expects you to do the same, though he doesn't expect the next exchange between you and Luffy a few moments later, once everyone has settled and you're able to pull your captain aside.

“Luffy,” you stay quiet, only he and Zoro can really hear you while Sanji continues to fawn over Robin as Usopp and Chopper ask her to show more of her powers, “Do you really trust her? I mean…she did work with Crocodile.”

Luffy gives you a bright grin and nod, which you return slightly. “Yeah, it's fine! She's not a bad person! You can tell too, can't you?”

“Mm.” You nod, deciding to trust in Luffy and his decision. You climb up on the railing beside him, taking the extra fishing rod to help him get something for dinner. “I'll trust you then, Luffy.”

“Great! Now let's get something good for Sanji to cook for dinner!”

“Haha, right.”

No, you don't miss how Zoro doesn't say anything, instead turning away from you and Luffy, avoiding Robin as she attempts to speak to him before looking at Luffy and asking if he'd gotten any bites yet. She was trying to fit in with you all, Luffy trusted her and she seemed to trust him. You're willing to give her a chance, even if Zoro isn't.

You're sure there's going to be a discussion about this later, and you definitely aren't looking forward to it.

+!+

“You can't be serious that you trust her.”

“Zoro,” you sigh and shake your head, rubbing your forehead a bit. Your head is starting to ache at the thought of a possible argument, “I didn't say I trust her.”

“Oh, and what's your reasoning for not being skeptical? She was our enemy not even three days ago!”

“I get that…but it sounds like she trusts Luffy.”

Zoro sighs heavily and shakes his head at you this time. He's not sure what to do with you, he doesn't want to fight with you about this, but it seems to be the way it's going to go.

He just doesn't trust Robin and doesn't get why you, who seemed to have worse trust issues than he did, ever would.

“And when she betrays us?”

“She won't, Zoro.”

“You don't know that! She could be using Luffy saving her as an excuse to get information and take it to the government or another pirate crew!”

“Oh good lord,” You're nearly glaring at Zoro while he almost snarls at you over the situation, “you are the most untrusting, stubborn man I've ever met! I don't trust her yet, who I trust is Luffy!”

“Luffy doesn't know what he's doing with her! She said something she knew he'd like to hear, she's not safe!”

“Luffy is our captain!” You didn't know your voice could get this loud, nor did you think Zoro's ever would. The rest of the crew must be getting one hell of a show if they could hear you from the storeroom right now. Though, if they could, you're certain Sanji would have run in to defend you and Robin by now.

“What does that have to do with this?!”

“He makes the decisions! If he thinks Robin is safe, I'll trust Luffy!”

“You're being as much of an idiot as our captain is!”

No, he doesn't really mean it, but Zoro wants to get his point across. You should be cautious, wary of this new person who, yes, was your enemy just a few days ago. You get that, you really do, but if Luffy thinks she's a good person, then…

“Yeah, sure! I'm an idiot because I trust our captain's choice!”

“Yes you are!”

“And you're a stubborn, untrusting dumbass!”

Well you've never called him such a name before, and that's more surprising to Zoro than anything that's happened today. You've both said too many things, probably things you don't mean, but it's enough now that he's done with it all. Done with yelling or trying to talk to you about it. He knows you won't listen, you'll both just end up trading insults and he doesn't want that anymore than you do.

So instead, Zoro pushes past you to leave, stopping briefly for one more thing.

“I want those papers later. We don't need to wait on your parents anymore.”

Zoro doesn't let you respond before he's heading back up the stairs, Luffy calling him for something that he's more than willing to do if it means being away from you for now.

You, however, do feel bad for the names you called him, and wish you had stopped him quickly enough to apologize. Had you been able to properly get your words out, maybe Zoro would have listened instead of fighting with you about Robin's recruitment. Instead you both let your emotions take over, said things you didn't mean, and now he was wanting the annulment papers.

Way to go, [Y/N]. You're getting an annulment and probably losing your closest friend.

+!+

Robin finds you with the logbook a couple days later, while everyone else is off the ship checking out the latest island you've docked at. She's not that surprised that you're the one who's keeping track of your adventure, you just seemed like the right person to write out everything that happened. If it wasn't you, she would've expected Nami to be keeping track.

“Anything interesting to record, Miss Logkeep?”

Humming a bit, you nod and finish the sentence you were writing, leaning back as Robin sits across from you. You're still recording all the events of Alabasta, trying to find the words to put everyone's perspective into the log appropriately. Making sure you had all the information meant having to speak with everyone, and with you and Zoro at odds for the moment, it felt like somethings were missing, and you likely weren't going to get anything from him until you two made up somehow.

You haven't taken your annulment papers to him, he hasn't asked again since your argument. Honestly you hope he's forgotten and will let things be until you hear from your parents or he changes his mind entirely. Maybe it's useless to hope for that, but until he asked for them again, you're going to hold onto that hope.

“Yeah, trying to finish Alabasta but…”

“Need someone else's side?”

“Mm…” You nod again, and Robin gives you a smile.

She had heard the argument you and Zoro had, so she knew very well that you two weren't really speaking. Even though it was due to her presence, she didn't say anything to let on that she knew, instead deciding to keep that to herself to see where things went with the two of you. It sounded like you were extremely close, and she'd like to see what your relationship with Zoro really was like.

“Forgive me if I'm prying, but are you and the swordsman close?”

You bite your lip a bit, wondering if you really should trust her with such information. It's not like you have to reveal your temporary marriage to Robin, Zoro would likely demand the papers again and actually sign them this time if you did so. After a moment of back and forth with yourself, you sigh and nod, closing the log with your bookmark in place.

“Yeah, we traveled together before we met Luffy. About eighteen months, I think.”

While you start to relay your story of how you met Zoro, met Luffy, and came to suddenly be a pirate, Robin just smiles and listens to you. Though you and Zoro aren't speaking much right now, you seem happy to be talking about him, like there's something there that even Robin is missing. She's not sure yet, if you have feelings for him, but the smile on your face and the slight blush you seem to have tells her she's on the right track.

“He's saved me from drowning, you know.”

“Has he now?”

You nod again, still smiling. “Not since before we joined Luffy, but a few times. My parents didn't teach me how to swim, Zoro's tried a few times,” you laugh and look at Robin, “I'm not very good!”

Robin laughs with you and gives you a smile. “Sounds like you really like him.”

She has you figured out, Robin thinks, while you blush a little and smile slightly before nodding. You simply have a crush on Zoro, and it seems he doesn't reciprocate it right now. That might change, because she has seen how protective of you Zoro is, having witnessed it first hand when she showed herself on Merry and he was in front of you almost instantly. Although she doesn't yet know all the details of your relationship, she's keen to see what happens.

When Sanji calls you all for dinner, Robin watches you and Zoro. You may not be talking to each other, but you still stay close, seated by each other without much thought, though you don't say anything to Zoro nor does he to you.

Robin knows you two will make up somehow, eventually. It seems as though you've been through far too much together to let one fight come between you.

And if you all do make it to the sky island, there might be a decent chance of seeing how well you two work together in battle.

+!+

“Come on, it's not water.”

You stare at Zoro from the Merry's deck, unsure if you believe him enough to jump down and join your crew. Finally arriving at Skypiea was a weight off and on your shoulders, with how thin the air was you felt like you couldn't breathe at first. Once you were used to that, you thought you were away from the water enough that you didn't need to worry about drowning, until watching Usopp nearly drown to death in the endless cloud sea.

Even with seeing Luffy, Chopper, and Robin freely walk through the clouds without any effects, you still weren't sure about it. Of course, you had no real fear of the water, you'd be a terrible pirate if you did.

However, knowing your inability to swim, you try to be careful on the ship, and not knowing how the Sky Island was, you were more worried than anything, even with Zoro trying to coax you off the ship and say you'd be safe.

You two have barely spoken since your argument about Robin joining the crew, so seeing him try to help you is a surprise. You're both stubborn but Zoro more so than you, which is what led to you spending more time with Robin and getting to know her, trusting her and knowing that she's no longer a threat.

Zoro's not at all impressed with you and how you've avoided speaking to him lately, but leaving you on the ship was not happening in his mind, not when everyone else had left and others were even calling for you. Luffy shouting for you to hurry up, Nami promising it was safe and you wouldn't drown, and even Sanji calling for you and saying he'd found something for you (likely the same flower you'd seen him give Nami and Robin, but it was a sweet gesture).

After another moment watching you debate, Zoro sighs and sticks a hand out to you, making you tilt your head.

“I won't let you fall. You know that.”

He's right, so you finally decide to go with your friends. Stepping onto and jumping off the railing with your shoes in one hand, the other grabbing Zoro's so he pulls you to him and keeps you from hitting the ground immediately, his other arm around your waist to help with that.

“Told ya.” Zoro sets you down and lets go of you once he sees you're stable, turning to follow after the rest of the crew before you grab his arm and stop him. “What?”

“I’m…sorry, thank you.”

“The hell you sorry about?”

“Not talking to you, calling you a dumbass, and fighting with you about Robin. I…we can…sign the papers later…”

Oh, that's what it was. Zoro wondered for a few days why you hadn't said anything to him about your marriage or your fight, he thought you'd just bring the papers to him later and say you wanted the annulment, not worrying about whatever your parents may think. He would've signed them if you did, but hearing the way you spoke just now, the slightest bit of concern and maybe sadness in your voice, it makes him shake his head in response.

“No, just…just leave it alone for now,” Zoro sighs but places his hand on your shoulder, moving you to walk in front of him, “Let's just join the others.”

Nodding, you don't miss how Zoro slightly squeezes your shoulder, before moving to keep his hand on your back and guide you, likely so you knew he wasn't letting you go so you wouldn't fall. It's a strange but kind gesture, even after he'd told you that he didn't have feelings for you and you two weren't going to be a couple.

Part of you wonders if he's lying, whether to you or himself, you're not sure yet though.

+!+

With all the trouble that Skypiea has brought you all, a night of rest and drinking was greatly needed, in your opinion. You'd all split off the next day to search for the city of gold and make your way to the end of sky island, but for now, you'll indulge in some drinks and laughs with your friends.

While he's still busy making food and handing it out, Sanji does, at one point, notice you grab a couple drinks and almost run back over to Zoro to give him one, before you go back to Nami and Robin nearby. How strange you two still are, in his eyes. You fight to the point of silent treatment, then start speaking again just earlier that day, and you're back to your usual self, bringing the mosshead things whether he asks or not. You're far too kind to Zoro, he doesn't deserve you, even though Sanji knows and understands the two of you aren't together. You do too much for him with nothing in return.

Although, rarely, Sanji has noticed that sometimes, it's Zoro who brings things to you in return. You've asked for a book once, something to drink a few times, and more recently had voiced your want for a snack, and were surprised by it a bit later when Sanji brought it to you.

“I…didn't even come ask you yet.”

Sanji shakes his head, scowling slightly before saying “Mosshead came and told me you wanted something to eat. Said I should just bring it right to you.”

You're surprised, mostly because you and Zoro haven't been speaking since your argument the other day.

“I…see…”

The blond knows of your fight, you'd gone to him shortly after and maybe you cried a little while telling him everything, but Sanji's of the belief you two must've made up if Zoro came and asked him to bring you something.

“Guess you guys made up then.”

“No…” this time you shake your head, accepting the small plate of food from Sanji with a slight smile, “We haven't…but this was sweet of him.”

Sanji was surprised at that, but now, he's more annoyed than anything. While you talk and laugh with Nami and Robin, Zoro stays where you left him, every now and then, Sanji catches him watching you. He's probably drunk, that's the only reason Sanji can think of to explain the look Zoro has on his face. It's something soft and almost faraway, like he's thinking too much about something. It only stops when you look over and smile at him, like you had back in Cocoyashi Village, making Zoro look away quickly and down the last of his drink.

There's something there, Sanji knows there is.

He's just not sure what it is yet.

+!+

Robin fully believes she knows what it is between you and Zoro, after watching you two the next day. You'd gone with her to search for the city of gold, Zoro not thinking that was a smart idea but you convinced him you'd be fine and he relented. He didn't want to have another argument leading into a silent treatment event happen. Seeing you without Zoro around, you seemed extremely interested in whatever history Robin told you. You chose to tell Robin about your situation with your family, explaining up to your meeting Zoro and leaving off your current marriage to him. You'd tell her one day, maybe once you'd come to know her more and trust her fully. Robin, though, knows there's something missing from your story. She can see it in your eyes, but she can't see exactly what it is.

What she does see happens when Eneru is nearly about to electrocute the five of you standing before him, Nami hiding behind a bit of debris. Once again Zoro has placed you behind him, and Robin can hear him quietly telling you to go to Nami, which you deny.

“I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to help you.”

Zoro's trying so hard to get you to safety that he nearly misses Eneru targeting Robin, only really noticing when you'd pushed away from him and ran to her, only to be hit with Eneru's attack after you'd shoved her out of the way.

“[Y/N]!!”

Robin's by your side and making sure you're still breathing, relief washing over her when she sees you've just been knocked out. She's more surprised at your actions and how Zoro's sending the worst glare she's ever seen towards Eneru, placing himself between the three of you.

“Don't you dare touch her again.”

“She's likely dead now so that won't be a problem.”

Eneru’s comment nearly pushes Zoro over the edge before Robin calls him.

“Swordsman, calm down! She's still breathing!”

“Doesn't matter! He shouldn't…she shouldn't have…”

Watching Zoro fight for his words and grip his swords tighter, it makes Robin realize she just might be right.

She believes it more so when you all have defeated Eneru, and are recuperating afterwards during a celebration with the Skypieans and Shandorians. Zoro had stayed by your side most of the time, constantly checking to make sure you were alright despite his injuries being worse. You barely seemed to notice, but Robin definitely did. Eventually she sees the same thing Sanji had the night before. You'd gone off with Nami once again, but also Luffy, Chopper, and Aisa this time, the five of you playing some game the little Shandorian girl had come up with, and Robin sees Zoro watching you all, but mostly you. She sees his eyes soften just a bit, the slightest smile on his face while he watches you laugh, especially when Luffy tosses Aisa to you and you catch her, making her squeal in laughter as well. This was the most peaceful she'd seen Zoro yet, and it was all because of you it seems.

How sweet.

You two are the last to wake the next morning, before your abrupt departure, and Robin is sure her hunch is right seeing you snuggled up close to Zoro with one of his arms around you before Sanji kicks Zoro to wake him up. Of course this causes an argument as soon as Zoro is up and in Sanji's face, you barely awake and rubbing your eyes to figure out what's happening.

“What the hell, I was sleeping.”

“You and the swordsman were,” Robin starts to smile while your eyes widen and you feel a blush creeping onto your cheeks, “but we need to get going soon.”

“R-Right… did um… anyone–”

“Yeah you were really cozy with Zoro all night.” Nami grins and you have to hide your face in your hands, Zoro and Sanji still shouting at each other while Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper are gathering their things like it's a game.

Once you all do take off, as you're running to leave, you nearly trip over the ground to the point Zoro grabs you like the sack of gold everyone has and throws you over his shoulder.

“Wait, Zoro!! Put me down!!” You pound on his back a bit before he adjusts you over his shoulder better.

“Not if you're gonna trip like that!”

You don't even bother to fight him and just hang there the rest of the way to Merry, Zoro finally putting you down once you all get there, Robin hears the quietest apology from him while you shake your head and move to help get everything ready to go.

They're very interesting, those two…maybe he does actually like her.

+!+

Landing back in the sea did not go as planned for you. Your air filled octopus balloon friend let you down easily for the most part, until he suddenly ran out of air and the Merry was being quickly dropped into the water. You grabbed as tightly to the railing as you could while everyone else did the same, or grabbed each other in the case of Luffy, Usopp and Chopper, and Sanji not at all complaining as Nami latched onto him. The splash down flooded the deck with water, but once it drained enough, Merry settled and you were back as close to solid ground as possible.

“Everyone good?!” Luffy shouts a bit, Usopp and Chopper still holding onto him while most everyone states they're fine. He furrows his brow when he doesn't hear your voice or see you. “Where's [Y/N]?”

“Did she get swept out when the water drained?!” Nami feels panic seep into her bones while she looks for you in the water.

The second Nami's question reaches him, Zoro is in the water on the side of the ship you'd been on, making what felt like the millionth rescue from water he'd done in his life, most of them being for you due to your inability to swim. The first time it happened you'd been pushed in by one of your bounty targets before Zoro struck them down, quick enough that he was able to reach in and pull you out by your shirt collar like a cat by the scruff of its neck while you flailed about. You didn't eat a Devil Fruit, your parents simply never taught you to swim. Your brother attempted to, but only for so long before your parents heard and barred you from doing so. A lady didn't need to know how to swim, your mother tried to reason with you.

Zoro's able to reach you in time before you get too far down in the sea, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you upwards, surfacing not even a minute after he'd jumped in, making you gasp for air and cling tightly to him, almost suffocating your constant savior while you spit up water from your lungs.

“Zoro's got [Y/N]!! Let the ladder down!”

You hated this, hated needing to be saved anytime you ended up in the water. It's become so much that you aren't sure if you really are crying while you grip onto Zoro, or if it's just water dripping down your face, despite how hard you're biting your lip and tightening your hold on him. It's not like you had a good excuse, not like those who had eaten Devil Fruits.

Zoro puts an arm around your shoulders and stops for just a second once he gets the both of you to the ladder before starting to climb up.

“Hey,” you almost miss him speaking to you, even once he starts trying to soothe you by rubbing your back, “I've got you. You're all right.”

He's quiet while he speaks to you, whispering reassurances that all is well, you're okay, he's not going to let you go until you're on the deck again. You're alive, he's saved you again, kept you from drowning like he has Chopper and Luffy in the past. Like he always has.

Sometimes it feels like all you do is take and take and take from Zoro, from all of them. You wonder sometimes if your parents were right, when they said you were nothing more than a greedy child still, always taking but never giving back. Despite the fact you do your fair share on the ship, in battles, it feels like you shouldn't be here.

Once you're back on the deck, you still don't let go of Zoro, even when he tells you to at least loosen your grip before you choke him to death. You do, at the very least, release your grip on his shoulders and instead hide your face in his shirt, trying to keep your worried crewmates from realizing you are crying after all. Zoro simply holds your head in place, even with Luffy and Usopp trying to check you over while Chopper runs to get his bag and help you. Sanji is quickly throwing his suit jacket around you and trying to get Luffy and Usopp away so they don't cause you more distress, while Robin suggests bringing you to your bed, and Nami's run off to your room to get dry, warm clothes for you. Despite the slight distrust he still feels for Robin, Zoro nods at her suggestion, bringing Sanji's jacket around you a bit more before lifting you up in his arms, knowing you weren't letting him go anytime soon. You don't let go, not even for a second, until you're in your room and Zoro has laid you on your bed, telling you to wait for Chopper to get there while he tries to leave and change into dry clothes himself. He's stopped only by you grabbing his wrist, wanting him to stay, before Zoro promises he'll come right back. You only let go after that, giving a slight nod when he turns to leave you to change clothes yourself.

“Zoro?”

He's almost out of the room before you stop him, making him look over his shoulder to you.

“Thank you…again.”

He shakes his head, telling you not to mention it.

“I'll always save you if you need it, wife.”

+!+

You're struck with a nasty fever and congested cough the next day, blaming it on the unexpected swim you'd taken and the slightly colder area you were in. Chopper's given you all the medicine you can take for now, to try and bring your fever down, the rest was up to your own body to fight it off. Your crewmates were kind enough to take turns watching you, as you all had done when Nami was ill before you brought Chopper on board. She and Zoro are the ones to spend the most time watching you; Luffy tries to cheer you up with jokes, Usopp tells you more of his tall tales, Robin has taken to reading to you from a book she'd let you borrow, Sanji is mostly quiet so you can sleep, and Chopper is in and out checking on you and seeing if your fever has reduced any. Nami is almost as quiet as Sanji, working on a map while you rest.

Then Zoro.

He continues to reassure you that everything is OK, not constantly while he's there but he can tell, when you trail off in your sentences and look away from him, that you feel bad about something. He's not sure what, but he tells you everything is alright, you're alive and you made it out of a fight against a false god and a near drowning.

“‘M sorry you have to watch me…instead of doing your training.”

If he'd been any closer to sleep, Zoro would've missed what you said entirely. Luckily for you, he's awake enough to raise an eyebrow and shake his head.

“Don't worry about it. It's what crewmates do.”

It's what a husband does too…

“I feel like all I do is take from you…”

You don't look at him, finding your ceiling more interesting as you look over the wood pattern to avoid his eyes. You know he'll try to reassure you again, Zoro was good at that, despite his indifference to your pretend marriage. He'd never made you feel like you were a burden or less than, even if you really did mostly take and rarely give in return.

Zoro's not even sure why he always tries to make you realize things are okay, that you haven't done anything wrong. He knows about your parents acting like you should be seen and not heard, such a crappy thing to do to your own child in his opinion. Your parents were well off, they’d give to you and your brother constantly, then make you feel like you were selfish for not returning the “favor” by marrying who they chose for you. They really seemed to embody the “not every parent deserves a child” belief.

Thank God you had someone who cared for you though.

Before even saying a word in response, Zoro quietly takes hold of your free hand, letting you lace your fingers with his and making you look him in the eye again.

“Take all you want, I'll give you what I can. You can return it another time, all right?”

You want to cry, as Zoro strokes your hand with his thumb, and you nod a bit, swallowing down the tears before they can start. The things he does to you, even after telling you he isn’t here for romance. The way he acts, the way he treats you, it really makes you want to believe he’s lying to himself, lying to you to keep up his image. It gives you the slightest bit of hope that things could change one day.

“O-okay…”

We're not a couple…I don't know why you put up with me…

Once your fever is past, you're back to your normal routine of helping out wherever possible on the ship, spending your free time in the kitchen with Sanji, helping Nami with a map, or staying near Zoro while he goes back to training. He doesn't mind if you quietly sit near him, whatever book you've borrowed from Robin in your lap. It feels almost domestic to him, and Zoro has to brush that thought away quickly, lest he start fantasizing about keeping you as his wife. He stops any random thoughts of you two sharing a bed permanently, of taking you out somewhere on the next island for a date, or convincing you to stay up with him during his night watch, just to talk about your relationship and future. No, those thoughts can't be entertained, not now at least, he can't be distracted by such frivolous feelings like wanting to hold your hand all of sudden, or expecting a good morning hug or whatever. Romance isn't in his plans, it's not on his radar. You being his wife isn't supposed to be permanent.

Still though, a thought lingers despite his pushing the others out, when Zoro catches you dozing off in the corner, still fatigued from your body fighting off that fever.

Would it really be so bad to stay married to her?

He's not sure, even as he sets his weight back in place, wiping away any sweat he can and putting on a shirt before settling himself next to you, gently leaning you against him as you sleep. You stir a bit but he quickly quiets you.

“Just me. Go back to sleep.”

“Mm…’kay…”

Despite the scent of steel and sweat, you snuggle closer to Zoro, him wrapping an arm around your shoulders to keep you still. He lays his head on top of yours, closing his eyes and letting those thoughts come back, not stopping a single one this time.

Thoughts of a possible future where you two stay married and act like it, where you treat each other as husband and wife, where you've both reached your goals, where you're settled down somewhere safe enough to have a child or two perhaps.

Thoughts Zoro never once imagined entertaining, but now they take over his dreams to the point he's started changing his mind.

Maybe not so bad.

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Before I Go

Note: I had no intention of writing anything today, as my insecurities are high again lately, but before I knew it this was written and I don't hate it? Anyway, I guess this explains that messy hair he had at the start of Seven Kings Must Die. (Chapter two is here)

Warnings: 18+! some angst/fluff/suggestive/light smut.

pairing: Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Your husband had to leave unexpectedly.

wordcount: 1,8k 

Masterlist

You felt your husband's rough and warm hands on your skin, gently holding your face and carefully wiping away the tears that escaped your eyes, even though you had tried so hard to hold those back.

'Don't cry,' Sihtric whispered, a pained look set on his face, 'please, don't.'

'When?'

'In a few hours.'

'And when will you be back?' you sniffled and looked up at him, meeting his teared up mismatched eyes.

'Soon,' he promised and kissed your forehead.

'How soon?'

'Very soon. I'll be gone for only a few days, my love.'

Sihtric wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, holding you tightly in his embrace after having told you that he had to leave Dunholm and travel to Bebbanburg. The grave news that King Edward had died had only just reached you, and Lady Eadgifu and her youngest son, Edmund, were already fleeing to Bebbanburg after the death of her husband. And your own husband was being dragged into potential danger by escorting them to Uhtred, along with Aldhelm. You had been living in peace in Dunholm with Sihtric for a while already, and the former warrior had retired from war years ago. You had gotten so used to having him around day and night while living in peace, and you wouldn't want it any other way. But now that a king had died you knew the peace you had tasted would soon be over, and you also knew that if a war would happen, your husband would be present in the battle at the front line, behind his shield. And that thought was simply unbearable and one you never hoped to have again.

'You know bad things are going to happen when the news spreads,' you whispered, frightened, 'I don't want you to fight, Sihtric.'

Your husband hushed you, and you pulled out of his embrace to look up at him. Sihtric looked torn. Torn between wanting to protect the lands and its people if a war would erupt, and torn between wanting to stay with you and protect you, because he knew losing you would be something he would never be able to recover from. He looked down into your eyes with his lips pressed into a thin line, his brow furrowed, and his hair loose and slightly pushed back.

'I don't want you to fight,' you urged, 'I don't want to lose you.'

'Darling,' Sihtric shook his head lightly and cupped your cheeks again, 'I know. But now is not the time to talk about this. We can't stop a war from happening-'

'But you don't have to get involved,' you hissed through your tears and punched his chest, 'you don't have to escort the Lady Eadgifu to Bebbanburg and become a target!'

'My love-'

'No!' you interrupted with a sob and another punch landed on his fur covered chest, but it did not phase your husband, 'I don't want you to go. You have fought in enough battles when you were younger, you have done your duty! Enough is enough, Sihtric! You are not a young boy anymore, you are a husband! My husband! And I need you here, with me!'

You looked at him with anger and despair in your eyes, feeling hopeless, and you wanted to slap his face to snap him out of the battle mode he was already slipping into. You could see it in his eyes and you could just feel it in his touch. You knew he was going to battle when it would come, and you hated him for it. You despised him for it. But you loved him more than you could ever hate him and his thirst for blood and violence, so instead of slapping him you fell into his arms again and cried as he held you.

'I will return to you-'

'When?' you snapped and pulled away again, 'when will you return? Because we all know how this goes. Uhtred will ask you for help, and you just can't say no,' you said, resentment clear in your voice.

'I-,' Sihtric tried again, but you didn't give him room.

'It is never just a few days, not with Uhtred!' you continued to spit, 'and you know it too, so don't tell me-'

'Listen to me!' Sihtric suddenly raised his voice and cornered you, your back pressed up against the wall while he towered over you, his breath feelable on your skin, 'listen to me,' he lowered his voice again and spoke calmly, 'I will return to you, soon. Even if Uhtred needs my help, I promise you that I will come back before anything happens. I will come back for you first. I will come back to you before I go to battle, always.'

A deafening silence filled the dimly lit kitchen you were in, the candle flames' sizzling almost hearable while you and Sihtric stared at each other with a mixture of pain, fear, love and passion. You calmed yourself before you wanted to speak again, knowing that your husband would do whatever it takes to return to you, but that didn't make your worries any less and the thought of never seeing him again after tonight was overwhelming.

'I will come back before I go to battle,' your husband insisted, as if he could read your mind.

'But what if you won't?' you sniffed, your jaw clenched as you looked into his eyes.

Sihtric sighed and took your face, leaning his forehead against yours and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

'What if you won't?' your voice trembled as you whispered your question again, your hands grabbing onto the neck of his tunic, keeping him close, 'Sihtric?'

Your husband exhaled slowly and sharply, then swallowed hard before he parted his lips to speak.

'Then it means I'm dead,' he said, his voice deprived of emotion.

'Sihtric-'

'You know that too,' his hands found your waist, grabbing you needily, 'you know-'

'Don't,' you begged, 'don't say that.'

'You know…,' Sihtric said sternly, his tattooed fingers digging into your dress as he held your waist in a bruising grip, baring his teeth at you for a split second before he bit down on his lip, '... you know I'm dead if I don't come back for you,' he took a step back and pulled you away from the wall, pulling you with him towards the dark wooden table in the centre of the room, 'you know I'm dead if I don't come back for my wife,' he almost snarled, baring his teeth again and he lifted you up on the table, 'but I'm not leaving my wife just yet.'

Sihtric trailed his hands down your figure, to your legs, pushing up your skirt and sneaking his hands underneath the fabric, feeling your skin and squeezing your thighs while he parted your legs with a quick push of his knee. He then brought his hands to your knees, wrapping underneath them and he pulled you up to him with one swift move, placing himself between your thighs. Your lips parted as a sharp gasp escaped you, his strength never failing to impress you, and he used the moment to capture you in a passionate kiss with his tongue gaining immediate access into your mouth.

Your hands moved up his clothed arms, over his shoulders, his neck and up into his long hair. You gave his locks a firm tug, which earned you a strangled moan from your husband as well as a firm slap to your buttocks. You couldn't help but giggle at the punishment, to which your husband chuckled darkly and then smacked his lips as he leaned slightly back to look at you. He took your hands, guiding them down to the leather belt around his waist while he bit down on his lip as he smirked, his eyes hooded and dazed. A light blush coloured both you and your husband's cheeks as you undid his belt, even after all these years the passion and playfulness had never left your marriage, and you would forever remain excited youngsters when it would come to intimacy.

'Good wife,' Sihtric hummed after you had dropped the leather belt on the floor, and he took your face to kiss you deeply again.

You got lost in his kiss, your hands hastily searching for the hemline of his tunic, which you pushed upwards once you got a hold of it. You snuck your hands underneath the layers, feeling his warm thighs while he began to kiss you sloppily, his hands tangled in your hair and his tongue down your throat. You grabbed his bare buttocks, giving him a playful squeeze to which you both chuckled against each other's lips, before you took his hardened member and worked him by hand with teasingly slow strokes, feeling his pre-fluid coating your fingers. Your husband's breath became heavier, needing air and breaking the kiss, only to drag his lips and tongue down your neck to lean his forehead onto your shoulder as he tried to bite back a moan.

'I love you,' Sihtric groaned against your neck, then planted his lips on your skin in another attempt to stay quiet, leaving visible love bites as he did.

'I love you too,' you breathed, one hand grabbing onto his wild hair as you continued to please him and prepare him, 'just come back to me,' you whispered in his ear, 'promise me you'll come back to me, Siht.'

'I'm coming back to you,' your husband gasped, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist while he slowly bucked his hips into your hand, 'I promise,' he peppered your neck with wet kisses, 'I promise, my wife, I swear it.'

Sihtric then moved his hand down to yours and took it, gently placing your hand back on the table and lining himself up with your soaked entrance.

'Tell me again,' Sihtric said out of breath and brought his lips back to yours, 'tell me you love me.'

'I love you,' you murmured against his lips, 'forever.'

'Forever,' Sihtric breathed, his eyes closed and his lips parted.

And a sigh of relief and pleasure sounded from you both as he pushed himself inside, making slow and deep love to you until you were both left satisfied, after which he wrapped you in his arms and laid you down with him on the kitchen floor, only moments before he had to depart, leaving soft kisses all over your skin wherever his lips could reach.

'I love you,' you whispered and sweetly kissed the tip of his nose while you traced the scars on his face, wondering how many new ones he would return with.

'Tell me once more,' Sihtric whispered, pleading as he looked into your eyes, 'before I go.'

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[ewanmitchellconnoisseur]

"𝑨𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒚" - 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 2 Aemond x Reader

A/N: I had not originally planned on this being a series but the Aemond girlies loved the first one so here is a second as a lil gift. //Divider by @firefly-graphics & @cafekitsune

Summary: You wake up to unfortunate circumstances. It only gets worse when you finally get some answers. A dream confirms that whatever chance you had at having a normal life was gone.

TW: Blood, Death.

←  Previous Part • Final Chapter →

Word Count: 3.6k (Not proofread, we die like men 🫡Im also just too tired I'll do it eventually🤣)

You yawned as you sat up in your bed rubbing your eyes. You look over to the spot Aemond was in and simply see a flower. Blushing you reach over and smell the flower.

You look over to the bath on the other side of the room and notice there's no steam coming out of it. You stand up and grab your robe off of the armchair next to your bed.

You walk over to the door after you wrap yourself in the armchair and attempt to open the door. You're shocked when the door doesn't open or move an inch.

"Hello?" You try opening the door again but they don't budge. "Is anyone out there?" You wait but hear no response.

You're unsure of what to do now. You look around your room for something to do. All that you manage to find are some of your old toys and unfinished projects.

You sit in front of the fireplace trying to think of what could possibly be going on. You remember a piece of the wall that could move and search for it, trying your best to remember exactly where it was. You end up finding it next to your dresser.

The piece moves easily and you reach inside. Your hand touches something and you instantly remember. You lay down flat on your stomach reach in with both hands and pull out the wooden box.

You're filled with nostalgia as you sit down on your bed with the box. You blow off the smoke and open it up.

Inside lies a small journal which you place to the side already deciding you have to see what young you used to write about. Inside also lies a small cushion you had sewn for you and Halaena's dolls. One of your teeth which Aegon convinced you to let him take out by tying it with string to a door.

You're confused for a moment at the last item. It's a black handkerchief with gold detailing. You pick it up and stare at it a moment before you remember.

Aemond had found you crying in a corner of the library covered in dirt, mud and God knows what else. He had asked you what happened and although you didn't want to tell him he convinced you too. You admitted that your brothers had joined Aegon in tormenting you by throwing mud at you insisting it was just a joke.

Aemond felt bad especially since he understood what it meant to be at the end of their cruel jokes. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the mud off of your face before walking you to his mother's chambers.

Alicent cleaned you off and got you a clean dress before seeking out the boys and your mother. All three of them were forced to shovel horse shit while you, Helaena and Aemond watched and ate cake.

The memory brought a smile to your face. Aemond had asked you for the handkerchief back but you told him you couldn't find it.

You pick the journal back up excitedly and open it up to a random page.

King's Landing 117 AC

Dear Diary,

Today my brother was born. Father named him Joffrey, I personally think his name is stupid but I held my tongue. Septa Anne would be proud. I went with the boys to the dragon pit today. It was awfully boring. Aemond and I watched while they got to practice commands. AND YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID! They gave us pigs! PIGS! Called them the "Pink Dreads".

Sometimes I wish I could just gouge out Aegon's eyes and put them in his soup when he isn't looking...maybe I can get Helaena to catch a beetle for me...

Anyways. I went to the kitchen to get cake but then Harwin stole it! He said it was taxes? WHAT EVEN IS TAXES?

You can't help but laugh as you continue to read. You fall asleep while reading about the time Aegon fell out of a tree while trying to grab a bird.

You wake up and blink a couple times, clearing your vision. You sit up and jump back when you see Aemond next to you lying in your bed.

"Gods! When did you get here?" He has a smirk on his face as he continues to read while eating an apple.

"A while ago. You were sleeping peacefully I didn't wish to wake you." You nod and look at what he's holding. You quickly notice it's your diary and try to snatch it out of his hand but he's quicker. He clicks his tongue at you as you try to reach for it. "Im quite enjoying this. Listen to this one. Aemond gave me a flower today!"

"Aemond! Stop! Give it back" Your face flushes in embarrassment. "I was a kid!" He drops the apple and manages to grabs your hands with one of his and holds them down.

"He is so cute!" He looks back at you with a shocked expression. "You thought I was cute, princess?" Aemond pulls you to sit in his lap and you hide your face in his neck out of embarrassment. "Aemond smiled at me today!"

"Stop!!! Please I beg of you!" He laughs and puts the journal down.

"And this!" He lifts you out of his neck and waves the handkerchief in your face. "You swore to me that you lost it! Liar!"

Aemond begins tickling you and rolls you over caging you under him. He leans down and leaves a trail of kisses from your neck down to your collarbone.

"Aemond?" He hums back in response. "Why was I locked in my chambers?" He stops kissing you for a moment before he leaves a final one on your cheek and sits up.

"You need to break fast first...then we can talk."

Aemond calls for food and for your handmaids to prepare you a bath. You're shocked at first cause of how open he was about being in your chambers while you were fully undressed. You wanted to ask if the talk had gone well about the betrothal and if that's why he was ok with people seeing him here but you opted to wait.

He watches you eat occasionally grabbing slices of fruit off of your plate.

"If you want one you could just take from the tray you know?" He smirks as he puts another grape in his mouth.

"But they taste much better off of your plate." He leans over and bites the strawberry that you're holding.

"So." He leans back in his chair. "Are you going to tell me why I was locked in here?"

The atmosphere immediately changes and is tense. He sighs deeply.

"...King Viserys died..."

Your eyes widen and you drop the food in your hand back onto the plate. Your heart clenches at the news. You had spent much of childhood following him around, you had even willingly chosen to be his cupbearer in some of his council meetings simply because you wanted to be near him.

"...that doesn't explain why I was locked in my chambers Aemond. Matter of fact that is far from an explanation. If my grandsire died I should have been notified."

Aemond fidgets with his hands the same way Alicent does as he looks at the wall.

"Kepus. What are you not telling me?" He continues staring at the wall occasionally looking at you. "Aemond." [Uncle]

"Aegon was crowned king." He says it quickly with his head held high. "As the king's firstborn son, he is the rightful heir. He was crowned before the masses in the dragon pit."

Aemond watches as your breathing quickens and your facial expressions. Your lips are pressed together as you're clenching your hands so tight.

"Who made that decision?"

"It was the King's wish. He said it upon his deathbed to my mother." You roll your eyes and stare at the wall. There was a battle going on within your head. Part of you was understanding of the firstborn son point but the other part was devastated for your mother.

"Does my mother know? What of my grandmother? I was supposed to leave with her this mourning."

"...your grandmother interrupted the crowning. She was riding Meleys, many people died and just as many were injured." You cover your mouth with a shaking hand. "I believe she is already on her way to Dragonstone probably to speak to your mother..."

Meanwhile in Dragonstone

Rhaenys wasted no time heading straight for the princess. She had no time for formalities.

She walks into the room seeing them both by the fireplace.

"Thank you, Ser Lorent." Rhaenys stops at the head of the table. "Princess Rhaenys, might we hope for news of Lord Corlys' recovery?"

"Viserys is dead." Rhaenyra's face drops as Daemon turns around. "I grieve this loss with you Rhaenyra. My cousin, your father...possessed a kind heart." Rhaenyra struggled to comprehend what was happening. She knew her father would die soon but hoped she would be back to King's Landing in time to be there.

"There is more. Aegon has been crowned as his successor" Rhaenyra clutches her stomach as Daemon walks over.

"They crowned him?" Rhaenyra was looking off into space, grieving.

"How did Viserys die?" Daemon had a look on his face that no one could quite place. Was he sad? Angry? Or just plain confused.

"I could not say." They both look at each other.

"How long ago?" Rhaenyra asks.

"A day past, perhaps two. I was made prisoner in my quarters while the Queen made her preparations."

"Viserys has been slain." Daemon watches Rhaenyra.

"Alicent demanded you declare for Aegon." It was not a question, Rhaenyra already knew that it had happened.

"She did. I refused her." Rhaenyra let out a shaky breath.

"And yet you are alive." Of course, Daemon was skeptical, when was he ever not?

"The High Septon crowned Aegon in the Dragonpit. I witnessed it myself just before I fled on Meleys." Rhaenyra was still clutching her stomach.

"They crowned him before the masses." Rhaenys nodded.

"So that the masses would see him as their rightful King," Rhaenys responded.

"That whore of a Queen murdered my brother and stole his throne. And you could have burned them all for it." Daemon's unknown emotion was now evident, he was angry, livid even.

"A war is like to be fought over this treachery, to be sure. But that war is not mine to begin. I only rushed this warning to you out of loyalty to my husband and to my house." She took a deep breath. "The greens are coming for you Rhaenyra. And for your children."

"M-my children?" Rhaenyra's face contorted in pain. "My daughter! You brought her with you?" Daemon stood straight up.

"Sadly...no...Alicent had her chambers guarded well and her room had no passages. I'm sorry. I did not wish to leave my granddaughter either."

"You left my daughter with those cunts?" Daemon walked around the table to face Rhaenys. "You left her to become a bargain in this war?"

"I did my best Prince Daemon. We have allies within those walls that can get a message to her. Once I hear word she is alright I will be sending someone in to retrieve her."

"You have done enough." Daemon pointed at her. "I will retrieve my child from the snakes you fed her too."

"Enough Daemon..." Daemon turned to face Rhaenyra who was now hunched over gripping the table. "The babe... it's coming..."

King's Landing

Aemond watched as you paced around the room. You had requested he leave you alone for the a day only allowing in your handmaidens and refusing to see anyone else.

Since you had called for him this morning you hadn't said anything in almost an hour and instead paced around the room looking for the words to start this conversation. Occasionally you would stop, point at him and open your mouth but then you'd scowl and resume pacing again. He could tell you were conflicted.

"Ñuha jorrāelagon, kessa ao sit ilagon? Before you burn a hole into the floor." [My Love, will you sit down?]

"Now is not a time for jokes, Aemond! Do you know what your family has done? This is an act of war! They have usurped the throne right out from under my mother's feet. If you think she will let this go easily- no, if you think Daemon will let this go easily you are all sorely mistaken." you begin pacing again.

Aemond stood up and walked over to you and grabbed your hands.

"Gīda." [Calm] He pushed a strand of hair out of your face. "Everything is going to be ok."

"What will happen to me?" The thought had crossed your mind many times as you wondered what would be made of you.

"My grandsire and the King have agreed to our betrothal. They will announce it as part of the terms if she agrees to declare Aegon as the rightful King and kneel before him and the council."

"Terms?" You back away from him letting go of his hands. "Our marriage would no longer hold meaning Aemond. It would be seen merely as something my mother won in bowing to Aegon, a spoil of war. Either way, she would never say yes."

"Then Aegon will marry us anyway." He shrugs and pulls you back into him as if none of this bothered him. "He is my brother and he knows of the love I hold for you."

"And if I say no?" His face became stern.

"You wouldn't hurt me so."

"You mean the way that you have today?" He sighs deeply. "Why did you not come and free me from my chambers?"

"Because I knew you would leave at the first chance." You look away from him and he turns your face back towards him. "You're mine and I wasn't willing to risk losing what is mine."

You would typically enjoy this possessive air around him but you currently found it suffocating. You wanted nothing more than to put space between you but he was holding you tight against him.

"Aemond. This is not right. You must understand that?" He rolled his eyes and let you go.

"Who sits on the throne is none of my concern and not on my list priority."

"Then what is?" You step towards him angrily.

"You!" he snaps. "You are my only priority. If you say no to marrying me then you will be made prisoner here. You will spend the entirety of this war locked in here." You could tell he was being truthful. "Marry me and you will at least have some freedom."

"Some?" He walked back over to the table and sat down tired of this conversation. "What is some?"

"You will be allowed to walk freely around the castle with a guard of my choosing."

"And Vermithor?" You think of your dragon and where he could be. You had claimed him when you returned to Dragonstone after what happened at Driftmark. Aemond's bravery in claiming Vhagar led you to sneak into where he sleeps and approach the dragon yourself. You had also thought that if you claimed him you could ride to King's Landing and see him. You had learned the song Daemon would sing and tried singing it to him to calm him down. It worked despite almost being burnt to a crisp you had claimed him.

"I will visit him on Vhagar." He reached for your hand but you shied away. "You must understand that my grandsire worries about allowing you to have full freedom. After a while, you will be allowed to go riding."

"How long is a while Aemond?" He visibly gulped and bit the inside of his cheek. "How long?" Your voice was cold and made the hairs on his neck stand.

"Until you give birth to our firstborn." He said it quietly already knowing how you would react. It was smart you'd give them that. They know you wouldn't fly away while your child is in their possession. "My grandfather's decision not my own."

"And did you try to fight him on it?"

"Why would I?" He shrugged but soon noticed the angry expression on your face. "I want marriage with you, I want children." He tried to reach for you again.

"So do I Aemond! But not like this." You take his hand and he pulls you to sit on his lap. "I want us to marry because it is what we want. I want my mother to be there! This isn't the way I want to do this."

Aemond leans his head against your chest.

"My hands are tied, my love." You get off of his lap and walk over to the fireplace facing your back to him.

"I wish to be alone."

"Baby..." You hear him get up and walk over to you.

"Please go...now!" A few seconds later you hear him sigh and leave the room. You sit on the armchair and allow yourself to cry.

This was all too much for you. You worried for your mother and the rest of your family. Did they think you were a traitor now? Will they think you have chosen Aemond's family over them if you were to marry him?

You know there's no way your mother will kneel before Aegon, even if she decides to, Daemon would rather lock her in her chambers than agree to that.

How could they be so foolish? So reckless?

You walk over to your bed and lie down. You go over the pros and cons of agreeing to marry Aemond. You then think about ways you could escape. Maybe agreeing to a betrothal will at least get you the right to walk around, you could find your parent's allies within the walls and find a way back to them.

You can stall the wedding for a while. Aemond would understand you'd prefer to be married only after the war was over and your family could attend.

You soon tire yourself out with all this thinking and fall asleep.

You spend the next day alone in your chambers. Alicent had invited you to join her in breaking your fast but you respectfully declined. You needed more time.

You saw a boat sail out from King's Landing and knew it was most likely Otto heading out to deliver the terms to your mother. You knew it would not go well and they would be lucky if she didn't feed them to Syrax for their treachery.

It was only the following midday when you grew worried. You saw Vhagar fly away from the castle. Part of you wish you knew where he was going and the other part of you remained angry. You thought he knew you better, if he did he would have fought harder for your freedom right? He would have denied Otto's offer and not allowed him to make your marriage into something that they hoped would sway your mother into giving up her crown.

Gods you missed her, you prayed every moment for her safety. For all of their safety.

It rained that night. Something was off. You could feel it in your bones. You tried to sleep hoping it would calm your nerves. Your handmaid brought you tea to help you relax. You soon fell asleep but sadly even your dreams were disturbed.

You wake up on the floor of pitch black. Everything around you was dark. There was no light just darkness. You sat up and looked around.

"Hello?" Your voice echoed. You stood up and began walking around in the dark abyss not knowing where you were going.

"Gēlȳn enkagon jamela!" You hear Aemond's voice. [You owe a debt!]

You quickly turned around but nothing was there.

"Aemond?" You walked in the direction that you heard his voice. As you got closer you noticed your feet getting wet.

"Taoba!" You hear him again but in a different direction. [Boy!]

You turned again where you heard his voice and walked quicker in that direction. You felt something patter on your head and looked up. Nothing was there just darkness but you could for sure feel something wet as if it was rain.

There was a flash of a bright light to which you shielded your face.

"Daor Arrax!" Arrax? That's Luke's dragon.

"Luke? Luke, are you there?" You noticed your clothes clinging to your body as they were now soaked the scent of salty water filling your nose.

"Vhagar! No! No..." What had happened? Why was he saying no?

You look around you quickly trying to make sense of what it is you are hearing. The rain is heavier and you look at your hands. They aren't just wet...they're red. Your dress is now too stained red. You touch your cheek and look back at your hands and see the same red substance.

Something drops from above causing you to step back quickly. More pieces fall from the sky surrounding you. You shield your head and scream as the red rain grows heavier and more pieces fall.

When the rain softens and the sound of stuff falling ceases you open your eyes and look around you. Your face twists in pain as you see pieces of the body of Arrax surrounding you. It only gets worse when you see a human body part. You look closer and notice the hand.

"He got me." You hear his Lucerys voice and you instantly know it was his hand.

You wake up in a sweat your hair sticking to your neck and your pillow drenched. You look up and see Aemond standing at the end of your bed his clothes drenched.

And in that moment you knew.

The war had started.

A/N: So this is clearly turning into a series. Which I'm actually not mad about. Not sure where this is going but naturally the chances of any of this being 100% original is not possible. There are far too many HOTD fanfics for any ending or storyline to be original. I can only hope that it is 100% enjoyable.

I will still obviously do my best to come up with a unique ending but I feel like to have a unique ending people need to die. I need to start killing off characters like Grey's Anatomy 🤣

Anywho I hope y'all enjoyed this part! If you wish to be added to this Taglist or any other one please let me know!

Gen Taglist: @thought--bubble, @valeskafics

[satosugusandwich]

𝔏𝔢𝔱 𝔐𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲’𝔯𝔢 𝔐𝔢𝔞𝔫…

True Form!Sukuna x Fem!Afab!Reader (This is an AU!!! Sukuna is not a homicidal maniac cannibalistic murderer! I think he’s sexy and my morals say no dick from crazy murderer BUT dick from crazy 😍)

CW: violence in this chapter, threats, bloodiness, implied sexual violence and objectification

Description: You've been friends with Yuji Itadori for some time now and have seen the best, the worst, and the strange in all your years of knowing him. You've never thought he was one to have any crazy secrets and well... you were wrong. And now the demon bound to Yuji is bound to you too! How fun! Good thing that you aren't stupid and won't fall for a being that by no means should you have ever interacted with! Right? Right...?

*despite this being an aged up version of yuji, there will be no sexual stuff involving him, also the violence is only in the first chapter with a few mentions after that!!! Cross posted on Ao3 under Spicycrunchroll! THERE WILL BE LOTS OF SMUT LATER ON!*

Chapter 1: Never Again.

Poor you, stuck with a gay best friend and his gay boyfriend and exclusively terrible, gross men. The struggle of getting a good man was hard enough, let alone getting some good dick. Even gay men will tell you how bad some dudes are. Its one thing to finish in 2 minutes and cry after, at least there's sympathy, but a whole other thing to just be kicked out of the guy's house immediately and left wearing d r y panties with cum on your shorts. Yeah, never hooking up again, you tell yourself each time. Now, you found yourself wiping the oil off your face with a clammy hand while dialing Yuji's number, having just been booted out this guys house in the middle of the night. It rang only about twice before he picked up.

"Please don't tell me something bad happened." He said on the other line.

You sighed, walking to the end of your date's driveway and sitting on the ground. "Worse than usual. Can you pick me up? I'll send you the address." Your head hung low and your eyes felt heavy, wanting to cry but not having the energy to do so. At this point, you're never fucking anyone again. Let alone agreeing to suck them off before you get off. "I should've known that all his talk were lies."

You could hear him breathe in. "Yeah, I'm coming. Wanna stay over?" He asked jubilantly, as if to raise your spirits.

You smiled softly. "Could you stay at my place instead?"

"Hell yeah!"

You said your goodbyes and opened your phone, aimlessly scrolling on social media while looking for something to distract you from the disappointment of being used up and left to the corner, dehumanized again by a shitty man with a big ego. God, it made you sick. It wouldn't take long for Yuji to get to you, but it wasn't fun waiting either. Each minute ticked on by as if an hour had passed and all you wanted to do was throw away your shorts and shower off the stench of vape juice and alcohol. You didn't want to get in his car and start sobbing about how you wished you never did what you did, not because Yuji wouldn't listen, but because of your own embarrassment. Itadori has always been kind and much more level-headed (at least with this, he's usually just as stupid as you) so its extra embarrassing to have to tell him you sucked off a guy who didn't even get you wet. At least he was clean, you tell yourself, deleting Tinder from your phone for the last time. Never again will you take subpar dick from grown men who act like children! No, from now on, your body only allows worthy men, men that would worship you like you'd worship them!

After sulking for another five minutes, the engine of a car in the distance rumbled in your ear. Straightening your back, your head turned in the direction of where it’s approaching. It’s approaching way too fast for a regular suburban neighborhood. Rising to your feet to take a step back, it already turned down the street you happened to be on and you could hear sirens go off in your head, especially as you noticed that none of their lights were on and they definitely didn’t have tags. The van sped past you but they started to slow down before they reached the end of the street. You felt your heart rate surge when you realized they came to a complete stop. At that moment you realized that they were turning around.

Quickly, your legs brought you to the house you had just left and you banged on the door for a few seconds and screamed.

“Hey! Let me back in!!! It’s not safe!” The roar of the car started again and your intuition told you to run so that’s what you did.

Fuck, who knows who these mother fuckers are! Your mind is racing thinking about what they could potentially do if they caught you. Did they know you were here? Did they just happen to see you? Or… did the motherfucker inside of that house tell them you were here? Oh fuck… that’s why he kicked you out.

Tears started falling from your eyes as you ran through these people’s yards, you could see lights coming on in some houses, but it was no use because the car behind you stopped and three men came out the side door. You prayed that your human survival instincts would kick in and catapult you to go faster than you were, but they were bigger than you and right on your tail. Your legs ached and burned, practically sprinting and trying not to trip in the road. You didn’t dare look behind you, scared to slow yourself down, and scared of them. You kept on running and running until you reached the end of the road and saw headlights.

“Yuji!” You screamed, recognizing the shape and color of his car. With you out in the road, he stopped abruptly and you could see his body jerk with the impact. The men behind you cursed themselves but you felt hands on you faster than Yuji could process what was going on.

“Get her now! He’s coming behind us we’ll throw her in!” The man lifted you and you screamed again, but a hand swiftly covered your mouth. Yuji was out of the car and lunged at the guy holding you captive but was quickly stopped and apprehended by the other two.

“The kid has some fucking balls!” The biggest of the guys holding Yuji shouted, earning a strong blow to the chin. You thrashed against the man’s body as the large van from earlier came up right behind you.

Yuji looked at you as blood dripped from his nose. “Y/n! I got it, I promise!”

You held out hope and believed him even as you were thrown inside the van and the driver pulled away from the scene, leaving the two men with Yuji and you with a man wearing all black pressing you into the floor of the van. Tears spilled from your eyes, angered and terrified at the same time.

“Looks like we got a real good catch!” The driver harrumphed. “Bet she’ll go for a pretty penny.”

Your mind practically stopped when you heard those words. You were going to be sold, like an object, like a slave. The horror of it all made your body go numb and eyes go wide and then you closed them.

“Please.” You begged. “Please let me go.” Your voice was hoarse and you could taste your own tears as your mouth opened.

“No can do. We were told that you’d fetch a high price with your skills. Don’t worry, some girls get a good owner.” His voice was menacing and cold, but he spoke as though he actually fucking believed it. He didn’t even laugh at your pain like a monster would, he was just indifferent, emotionless.

“Please.” You begged again. “I can’t do it, please let me out!” This time your voice raised. “Help!” Your mouth was stuffed with cloth and your face was buried more into the floor as he bound your wrists.

The driver started to chastise the other man. “Why didn’t you gag her right away, the dumb bitch is louder than a dying cat!”

The other man cussed back. “Shut the fuck up, there isn’t nobody coming after us!”

The van stopped so fast you and the man were flung to the front of the car, colliding with the back of the front seats.

“What the fuck!” The man that was holding you down swore. His arms were now off you and the bindings he attempted were loose enough that you released your wrists and went for your gag. “No you don’t!” He reached for your clothes, yanking you back. Before you were held against your will again, the entire van split down the middle, from door to door. The back half of the van was flung off to the side before it became a cut up mess in the middle of the road.

Then you saw him. His hair was the same color as Yuji’s but was much less controlled. You could see what looked like four arms and a giant smiling mouth in the middle of his stomach. Every single person in the van went still and silent, staring at him. The creature looked inside and dead at you, bright red eyes gleaming in the moonlight. All four of them. Even the two on the side of his face that looked almost like a mask. He can’t be real. The tattoos all over his body were arranged in such a pattern that it was beautiful but something that scared you even more.

The creature spoke. “Now.” His gaze shifted from you to the man holding you. “I prefer it when I can get a good fight out of my opponents, but you lot are pathetic.” He looked disappointed. “Normal humans…”

No one spoke and he pouted. “Not a single retort? None of you pathetic excuses of flesh can say a word? You had a lot to say about selling the woman, can’t you entertain me? Or are your brains so simple you can’t think outside of making money off selling one of your own?”

Their own? Did he mean… humans?

The man behind you was shaking. And you could definitely feel his pants getting wet.

The creature before you sucked his teeth. “Boooring.” He narrowed his eyes. “And pathetic.” The vehicle was slashed once again, this time cutting into thirds, leaving you and the man holding you isolated in the middle while the other two thirds, including the driver collapsed around you. You heard squelches of flesh from the front and gasping. “You said she sounded like a dying cat, hm? Since you prefer the quiet so much, I thought I’d help you.” The creature chuckled.

The man holding you finally let you go, and he turned around to see the driver. You didn’t look. You knew what the creature did. Scurrying away, you realized headlights were approaching again and… it was Yuji!

“Ahhh, the brats already here. Well, I can’t kill you lot so how about I leave the piss-soaked one with a lesson.”

You didn’t know if you should thank the monster or run from him. You decided to run toward Yuji’s car.

Another crack resounded in your ears and then a gut-chortling scream resounded from behind you. “There we are. Something nice and fast. I hope they don’t find you until the morning.” You didn’t want to know what he did, you didn’t want to dare to turn around, all you cared about was the car door opening for you and Yuji’s comforting presence.

He looked so relieved to see you. “Y/n. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Don’t worry about those guys. I got you now. Sukuna won’t kill them, he can’t, but they’ll never ever do anything like that again to anyone.” Those were the first words to meet your ears. You didn’t say anything, all you did was sob in the seat next to him as he drove off and away from the scene. You didn’t ask anything. You didn’t want to. All that mattered was getting the fuck away from this and home and into a clean bed.

You could care about this later.

“I would’ve killed them if it wasn’t for this contract.” Your heart jumped out of your chest as the monster’s voice resounded in the backseat. “Sorry you don’t get the pleasure of knowing they’re dead.”

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

[hoseoksluna]

HEAVEN-SENT | knj

pairing: idol!friend!namjoon x f. reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.8k

summary: when a certain bad experience with a guy makes you run to namjoon, he heals you and changes you once and for all.

warnings: lack of willful consent in a way, crying, religion, smoking (namjoon smokes a cig, reader vapes), the context of this fic is of sexual relations though none are described, heavy daddy issues.

note: after i sat down to write last chapter of berries, i discovered that i simply couldn't because of what happened to me this week. there was nothing left for me to do, but to run to namjoon in my head and let him heal me. yes, unfortunately, the events that i wrote about in this fic happened to me. the dream, i had it last night. and the consolation in the form of words in the fic, i constructed it from everything my friends told me. to be honest, i feel deeply healed. i finished it in two hours or so and i feel so much better. now, like the reader i put myself into, i'm gonna take a shower and wash everything away. i'll be able to write berries after that. i love you, guys. sorry, if this is triggering in any way. i just needed to get it out.

“I think I heard… God in that dream.” 

Your words create a wisp of tenderness in the air. Saddened, moist with the tears that sting in the back of your eyes. The sun of the summer has descended, hid beneath the city—and you feel as though the same occurred in your life, despite the fact you’re being held by someone who holds the skyscrapers and the manufactured greenery in between like a burden on his shoulders and could easily stop its departure if only he looked up to the heavens with puppy eyes. 

God would’ve nodded. Flicked his fingers. The source of light and warmth would’ve paused, stared down on you, shone a little more mercifully. Beckon you out to breath in the fresh air, breathe in the protectiveness you find yourself to be in the middle of. 

God protected you from a boy who had different intentions from you, led you into the arms of a man who’s able to take your pain and transform it into an eternal artwork of beauty and importance. A harmonious poetry, mixed with English and Korean, flooded with colors akin to the ones your eyes would stumble across on a field of wildflowers. 

It’s where you are right now. No blanket, just the soil, the blossoms, the warmth from Namjoon’s body, your bruised knees and rawly abraded elbows—your injury from earlier that the boy feignedly kissed, but didn’t care much about. A means to get you into bed, nothing else. A banana vape in your fist while Namjoon holds his cigarette backwards, shielding the smoke with his palm, even though you’ve told him multiple times that you didn’t mind it. 

You smoked so much of them with him within the hours you spent here and didn’t receive any sort of alleviation from it that you grew a certain distaste for it in your mouth. Settled for the sweetness of your vape. Enjoyed it as much as you enjoyed Namjoon’s closeness and a sense of safety that he radiated as he let you rest your head on his clavicle, leaning his entire weight on just one hand, and nothing else. 

So unlike the boy, who would’ve kissed your feet if you let him take the endeavor further like he wanted. 

You were on a first date with a boy you didn’t even know for a week. With a boy who stuck his tongue down your throat. Almost fondled the most private parts of your body, had you not stopped him. And who didn’t drive you home after. 

The prose of the shallow, insolent face of a young male, who didn’t want to be provided with your love and empathy, who kissed you to shut you up, in fact. And the demons of your brokenness, conspired with your father complex, manipulated you into believing that he was moved by it, rather than repulsed by it as his only objective was getting you comfortable enough so you willingly give over something that doesn’t belong to him. 

Your purity. Your private parts. Your femininity. 

Two days later after the date, you had a dream. While you slept beside your best friends who spent the night smoking with you on the stairs outside of their apartment, helping you realize the truth—popping your bubble of pink vapor gained from the kiss and the male attention you’ve always had so little of. Many dreams swam past your sleeping consciousness, but only one resurfaced upon waking up. 

A large beige room; a man standing in the middle of it as he made your bed while you stood clutching your pajamas to your broken, dejected form. You were looking at him, regarding him from head to toe. From his shortly cut, blond hair, to his broad shoulders and toned, muscular arms that would lift you without blinking. From the tank top he wore, to the dark shorts. And once you viewed the same bruises on his body that were on yours, concealed from his sight and awareness, you heard a gentle voice inside your heart. A voice, entwined with the purest form of love, which told you that this was the man you were supposed to be with, not the boy you were seeing. 

You listened to the voice, obeyed it in a way that you didn’t quite understand—silently, tenderly. While you internally quivered in fear in regards to the male species. You were frightened of the man who was taking care of you—not because of who he was or what he potentially had done or would have done, but because of a very simple reason. 

He was a man. 

And you didn’t trust them. 

Not anymore. 

Namjoon was different. Namjoon was a man who was your friend for the longest time. A poet who nurtured his life. Who viewed the world’s secret poetry and sought it in every way he could. He was as much like you as you were like him. But you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours. 

It wasn’t written in the prosaic constitution of this wretched world; and never will be. 

He’s not the man in the dream. 

He never made your bed, although he would if you needed it. But his heart doesn’t belong to love. It is tied to the arts; tied to the people he takes care of, works hard for. His heart belongs to his voice. 

And his voice was silenced in deep indignation when you told him what happened to you. He’s known you for years; he’s known of your lack of manliness in your life—has supported it for as long as he’s walked beside you. Wrote you poems about how perhaps that’s what life is. Aloneness and the arts, the heartbreak if it crawls inside and what you do with it after. You’ve read them, worshiped them, obeyed them, even though your need for love always persisted within you. 

And it led you here. Back to him, needing his poems, although now your deeper brokenness asks for his recitation. 

But he’s still silent. 

Not silent to your pain, however. Not silent to the tornado in your sternum that makes you pause between your words due to its intensity. That makes you look at the leaves of the grass instead of the earth within the pools of his eyes. But you can feel the strength of his indignation that is mightier than the whirlwind in your bones. And it’s warm, so terribly warm, growing warmer the longer he looks at you, in spite of the lowering of the heat of the sun and the evening sweeping past the field, the coldness of the soil as if it never had been touched by that heat. 

Like you, almost. 

“I think it was him who told me that,” you continue, brushing your thumb over your yellowing bruise upon your knee from your injury. “It’s why I remember the dream so vividly. Why it made me never want to see the guy again. Why it suddenly made me understand why my friends reacted the way they did when I told them what happened.” 

You believe it, and nothing could cover your belief due to its force—its quiet, tender force that graces you with a little bit of strength to be here with him, to be able to share it with him with the said understanding and calmness, calmness so akin to nothingness. 

How delightful it is, that state of emotions. 

You feel as though you’re telling the story of another person. Perhaps Namjoon has done it in you by letting you talk without interrupting like your friends did. They outburst so colorfully and it made you feel so small and so stupid. Namjoon did no such thing—through his silence he put great meaning into your story. 

And it feels nice. More than nice. You appreciate it with the little you’re able to feel towards a man. 

“Why did you let him kiss you again?” Namjoon asks, softly, breaking that nearly long season of his silence with the kind of gentleness that only he’s capable of. 

He must be a different breed, you conclude. One you’ll never have the opportunity to know, intimately. 

Your mouth rounds in a faint pout because you know your answer, and sheepishly you camouflage it by taking a puff of your vape, expecting the banana flavor to give you the courage you need in order to say it. 

You hear Namjoon follow you suit, sucking on the bud of his cigarette before he puts it out in yours and his makeshift ashtray—a bottle of water that you both drank. The hiss and the dying out drives you quicken your scrambling of bravery and you don’t really know where that vague sense of impatience comes from. 

Namjoon is anything but impatient. 

You sigh, taking another puff, blowing it into the wind, watching it where it takes it to. Wish you were taken elsewhere, too. By an invisible hand that means well. Take you to a place of joy and respect, of devotion and care. 

You wonder if a place like this exists, at all. 

“Because…” you trail off, the tornado in you thickening, threatening your calmness and you can’t stop the blooming of your pout, the deepening of it, either. “Because it was my first real kiss with a guy and I wanted experiences like that. I wanted to live. I wanted to have what everyone else has so easily.” 

A beat of silence. The tornado enlarges. And you feel as though you were in the middle of it, not the other way around. The raw truth, you’ve said it. Thank God you said it to a person that knows he must handle it with care. It’s the reason why you ran to him. Why you invariably do. 

“But he didn’t have your consent. He didn’t ask for it, so he didn’t have it. He just grabbed your head and kissed you. And because you wanted experiences doesn’t mean he had your consent.” 

You furrow your brows, out of step with him. “It was me who kissed him at one point. I even bit his lip.” 

For some reason, your uttered words cause you to look at him. With his arms wrapped around his knees and hands interlocked, he scowls. His scrunched brows cast a shadow upon his marble face, upon the thin line of his tightly pressed lips, and you fear you did something wrong. 

“Did you kiss him because you wanted to kiss him or did you kiss him because you wanted experiences?” 

That question shocks you and you can’t speak. You swivel your head back in shame, tipping it, and you twiddle your thumbs, the answer raw and obvious, out in the open without needing any transportation of words.

You felt comfortable with the guy. Had chemistry with him that would run deeper if you were on the same page as him. But there was something about him, which you still can’t pinpoint, that built a translucent wall between your heart and him. You didn’t find him attractive enough to kiss. You didn’t expect to be kissed either by the end of the date. But you went on with it for one sole reason. 

The tornado explodes through you and Namjoon can feel it. 

He places a hand on your shoulder. Makes you look at him with that singular gesture and your eyes well with tears, the residue and effect of the explosion. 

“Never, and I mean never, do that again. Never do things that you aren’t innately hungry for and never do them in order to live a life you think you should,” he says and it’s a proverb that must be written in the book that had opened within your dream. “I don’t believe in God, but I do believe that you were protected from that piece of shit, who had the audacity to put his hands on you.” 

And there it is, the recitation of a different poem, one you didn’t quite want, but find yourself to be in need of. Your tears flow without direction, dripping onto the petals of the violet and pink wildflowers that brush against your legs with every breath of the wind. 

And you nod. 

Maybe they needed it, too. Maybe that’s why you’re here, why God put that lesson in your life that made you run to Namjoon. He took your hand and gave you a role. 

To be a helper of his. 

Quench the thirst of the flowers and quench yours, too, through that work. 

“No one is allowed to think they can touch you like that on the first date. I know how guys think. They think that because they paid for you, they paid for your body—and I’d kill them for that if I could,” he breathes out, waggling your shoulder to emphasize the importance of his words. And you breathe them in, consider them the scolding of a father, one that is done out of love and care and one that is good for you. Not meant to harm, not meant to express the voice of his upper hand. It’s meant for you. For your well-being. “He was dead to me the moment you told me you had to stop his hand from going further down. And the moment you told me he didn’t drive you home at night. That’s not someone you experience life with. That’s someone you walk past.” 

You nod and you sob, weaving your way into his step, believing his words—the depth of them, the meaning of them, the end to the sentence piercing your heart because that’s how you met the guy. He stopped you on the street and chatted you up. Gave you a false sense of comfort and safety.

Namjoon kisses your worth over and over again, clutches your brokenness and puts it together with his gentle touch—all through his grip on your shoulder, through the verses of his poem. 

He doesn’t dare to go further. Because he’s respectful, because he’s older, because he cares for you, regards you as human and not a piece of meat meant for satisfactory purposes. Thrown away after the deed is done. 

You take mental notes of those attributes. Write them somewhere upon your flesh to remember later on. 

Respectful. Older. Caring. 

The antonyms of the boy you were seeing. 

“Someone will come along who will serve life to you on a silver platter. He will find you and he will respect you. Will be afraid to touch you because of how golden you are; afraid to stain you. He will love you and only then will you love him back. That’s how you’ll know he’s the one. He’ll love you first,” Namjoon recites on, your tears dropping onto the back of his hand and trickling down his fingers. He grasps your hand and you feel the liquid of your understanding on his skin. Somehow it locks it in. “He’ll wait before he kisses you. And you’ll be filled with so much longing to kiss him that you’ll feel like bursting. That’s how it should be.” 

You nod for the last time, overwhelmed, but changed. You believe the tornado won’t find you for a long time—for as long as Namjoon is here. 

“Don’t rush. Do what you love to do, your hobbies. Read. You’re not missing out. You’re living already. You’re alive. You’re experiencing life, even if it means you’re doing it in the company of your friends, in a platonic realm. It counts.” 

The last stanza. 

He hugs you. Grateful, healed, reassured—he seeps those new attributes in you by giving names to them as he wraps his arms around you and you perceive that’s precisely what you’re feeling. 

Grateful. Healed. Reassured. 

And you perceive he showed you how love is meant to be expressed. The man does it first. 

And when a storm rolls in and the wildflowers startle against your skin, Namjoon walks you home. Doesn’t leave until he knows you’re safe inside. 

Heals what he didn’t break. Reteaches what you’ve been wrongly taught. 

You’re living. You’re alive. You repeat those words to yourself as you undress yourself and wash away the wrong touch from your body, this time with great consciousness and will. And the vapor from the water, different from the one that was conjured from your madness of falsely living, seals in Namjoon’s touch on your skin, writes upon it the stanzas of his proverb. 

You’ll remember them the next time. 

And there will be a next time because you’re living. You’re alive. 

Namjoon is a different breed because he must be an angel, dressed in white as he was. A helper just like you, ordained by God he doesn’t believe in for you. 

Otherwise he wouldn’t be in your life at all because while you quenched your thirst, he filled up your hungry belly. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth.

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved

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[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 36

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none :)

Words: 3949

A/N: Hi everyone! So sorry for such a long, unannounced break. I needed to take some time off. The updates will probably be less frequent, but I'll try my best to post.

Also, if there are any mistakes regarding the story line not lining up, please let me know! I might have forgotten about something and not realised! :( (Cupcake reveal is coming soon dw!)

How are you? I hope you well and care.

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys

(open)

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Jungkook nor Yoongi could help but gush and coo over you. Not only were their protective and alpha headspaces triggered by your still-dropped form, but just seeing you tightly cuddle up to the packalpha made their hearts flutter.

The youngest alpha held you close, gently fretting over you. Sure, you have cried yourself to sleep, but he couldn't help himself.

You were their courted omega, hopefully one day their own truly, and it really upsets them whenever you would cry or drop in their presence.

Frankly, it broke their hearts, shattered even, knowing that they were meant to be there to calm you down and make sure you were okay.

They didn't have as much experience with omegas as they might have thought they did before they got to meet you and start the courting—gosh, they were so wrong.

Of course, Jungkook's friend Juwon had an omega in his pack, but the youngest alpha never really got around to truly talk to him that often.

When the pack would hold meet and greets and see their fans up close, they got to meet all of the different second genders at once, so they have seen many omegas to be truthful, it was quite usual.

Only when a different K-pop group, not as well known as BTS but having a pretty large fan base, promoted and held their own meet and greet, and a terrible accident happened, did the whole industry shaken.

While crowds were known to unsettle and frighten omegas, as well as the loud noises, many fans just wanted to see the idols and would take the risk.

And it got especially risky when the price of the entrance was too high for the whole pack to get, ending with sometimes just the omega by themselves.

When the meet and greet of the K-pop group happened, it was quite a few years ago. Back then, one of the band members has suffered an injury, making them unable to participate.

Though, as the group felt bad for the short notice, they didn't want to leave any of their fans in dissapointment, and so the injured member came over to quickly wave at everyone and chat for a short while before they were ushered away again—or so was the plan.

As the leader of the group came over to see their sweet fans, the overpacked room was filled with loud shouts of excitement and joy, though quickly turning into cries of distress and worry.

The mass of fans moved over quickly, and so many of the naturally smaller or shorter ones started to get pushed around and would stumble, eventually ending in many of them tripping and falling over.

The giant group of fans of all different scents, which just confused everyone in general, alphas, betas, and omegas all included, was too much for anyone to be able to truly notice the source of fans distress.

The chaos and panic only continued as the idols tried to calm everyone down. The leader, though injured, stayed behind to try and help, but the room was far too full, and there was soon just a mess.

The K-pop group disbanded soon after, ending their contracts after the terrible news of the two fans who were suffocated and stepped over until they had to be taken to a hospital.

Their identities haven't been revealed to protect them, though after a long while, the constant questions and worries regarding their well-being ended with a final message.

While one was on a good path to recovery, the other, a young omega boy, has ended up in a coma and seems not to be about to wake up any time soon. The pack that the omega was with took it the worst, for sure.

And so, after the terrible incident, which ended with many unsettled cries and shouts, a death, and many things to worry about, most of the meet and greets of all groups have been postponed.

Eventually, all that has purchased or won a ticket in some way has been refunded, until about a year or so forward since the accident, when the first meet and greet in the entire industry was held again.

This time, though, the rules applied were so much more strict and harsh, as only about half of the people who usually got to go were allowed, much less tickets sold.

And the biggest difference of all was that the event was only for betas and alphas.

Truthfully, no alpha in the right mind would dare let their omega go to such an event after the terrible news, too worried it could happen to their own too.

Nowadays, events where the idols interact the most with their fans are still usually held for alphas and betas only. A separate event is then held for omegas, but it is required to go with the packalpha of their pack.

The rules have become stricter in order to keep everyone safe.

Jungkook knew very well that he would have to always look out for you and take care of everything for you, but the alpha realised that was, honestly, something he found so fulfilling and rewarding.

And so, the young alpha held you to his chest, his own scent gland carefully close to your nose as he rested your face against the crook of his neck, cradling you close.

Yoongi wasn't much better, constantly combing his fingers through your hair gently, with little soothing pecks left on your forehead and your head.

The older alpha held your palm in his, his thumb softly rubbing over your knuckles in hopes of calming you and keeping you reminded of his presence, even if you weren't too aware at the moment.

Soon, Jungkook sighed out. After you truly smelled like all three of them, he stood up with you in his arms.

„Jungkook-” 

„Let's go home, Hyung; I want to take babybun home.” The youngest didn't look over to the packalpha, too caught up with watching over you.

Namjoon sighed. Truly, there wasn't anything more he wished for more than to have you safe and sound in their packhouse right now.

The packalpha wished they would have the den to have you nest and calm down in, but they didn't, and so they would have to deal with it.

Sharing quick goodbyes with Yuki and Moonsik, which both understood well and promised to not be bothered or upset, the three alphas went on to leave.

They made quick work, shuffling through the lightly busy mall, both Namjoon and Yoongi watchful and protective over you in Jungkook's arms.

Whoever seemed to just glance over for a second too long received a harsh glare back or a sudden release of very agitated pheromones, scaring them off.

And so, the pack went up the small stairs to the underground parking lot, with Yoongi's car in view soon enough when the oldest alpha led them over.

He wanted to keep you in his arms for a while longer, but seeing how the youngest quickly shuffled to the backseat the moment he unlocked the Hyundai, he would just have to wait.

Since Namjoon didn't drive, Yoongi would, and so he sighed again, turning on the engine as he waited for everyone to buckle in.

„Kook, you can't sit with your pup on your lap. That's not safe for either of you."

The packalpha said, his voice gentle and calm. Joon understood the youngest very well and knew he was in a headspace that was too hard for him to leave for now.

Jungkook needed to keep you close; he needed to feel you against his chest, your heartbeat, your scent—to know you were safe and sound.

And so he let a light growl leave him the moment the packalpha turned around to try and pry off his strong hold onto you. The youngest didn't realise it was his hyung, and even that wouldn't matter that much now.

„Yah! Jungkook, stop this.” A much rougher Yoongi called out, just wanting to leave. He wanted you to be in their packhouse now, safe, with only them around, not all of these strangers in the mall to oogle at.

„Hyung-” 

„No, we really need to go now. 'Mega will be next to you the whole drive.” And so Namjoon gently took you from the youngest arms, sliding you over so you would sit next to the alpha, your thighs touching.

As he buckled you in, he tugged on your seatbelt carefully, knowing you would be safe this way.

Namjoon closed the doors again, and as he took a seat at the front once more, he could see your head now resting against the alpha's shoulder, the youngest watchful eyes set on your form.

And so, the small group left the mall and started driving the short way to their packhouse.

The soft, omega headspace playlist was turned on, the alphas hoping you might calm down further even when you were asleep, your cheeks rosy and a bit puffy from crying your eyes out earlier.

"...what happened, Namjoon?” Yoongi asked calmly, his eyes set on the road. The snow was still around and pretty to look at. The alpha wished you would look at yourself and smile at how nice it was...

The packalpha wasn't sure himself, and so he only shook his head lightly, lost in thought. Surely, you would have to talk to them about everything later; this was important.

„...Have you called the others yet?” He asked his elder, and the said alpha was shaking his head likewise. „No, we rushed here...but we should probably call ahead."

And so Namjoon made quick work with the touchscreen, calling the eldest alpha of their pack, whom he hoped stayed home.

„Hello?” 

„Hyung, we are on our way home now.”

The packalpha said, unsure as to how to really describe what went down without the eldest freaking out fully.

„Okay-”

„Y/N dropped, could you maybe set some stuff up?"

And so Namjoon ripped off the bandage, hoping Seokjin would understand—he knew he would.

„I- What? Is she okay? What happened?” With each question, the urgency in his voice doubled, and in the background of the call, there could be some shuffling heard.

„I don't know Hyung. She is with us now; we will be home soon.” Namjoon said calmly, rethinking every single step he and you took earlier.

You seemed so joyful too, telling him about this and that as you skipped along with him, happy and seemingly carefree.

The packalpha took a short look behind himself, seeing Jungkook carefully caress your hair and leave soft pecks everywhere now and then.

If it weren't for your still distressed scent, you might look peaceful and relaxed, but the alphas knew better.

And so Jin said his goodbyes, telling them to give you a peck for him and to have you stay strong.

They weren't much further from home; the Hyundai was just entering the expensive neighborhood, so it didn't take much longer before they arrived.

The snow crumbled and cracked under the tyres as Yoongi carefully parked, very watchful since he was driving the most precious cargo of his.

As soon as the engine turned off, the alphas went to shuffle out—not before the front doors of their packhouse were thrown open, though, with the rest of the alphas rushing over.

„Babycheeks?” The second youngest called out his eyes wide in worry as he came over. Jungkook was just about to climb out with you tightly held to his chest.

„Oh my gosh, princess-!” The other alpha gasped, seeing your still puffy cheeks and the pout you sported even during your sleep.

The youngest reluctantly let the oldest take you into his arms instead, Seokjins eyes roaming over your figure to see any possible damage, but to find none.

„Aigoo, babycub, come to alpha...” He whispered softly, pulling you even closer if that was possible.

With you safely tucked away in his arms, the alpha was quick to start the short walk back inside, with the rest of the men following trying to get at least a bit of their scent onto you.

Yea, you had them wrapped around your little finger, but they didn't put up a fight.

The moment Jimin and Jin started to untie your shoelaces, you stirred, your vision slightly blurry. Your head pounded, and a soft sniffle left you.

Immediately, both of the alphas and all the others which were currently discarding their own coats and jackets looked over, worry and care swimming in everyone's eyes.

Jimin was the quickest out of his daze, putting the pretty snow boot they got for you away, going from crouching before your sitting position to standing up a bit taller.

The alpha took you into his arms, picking you up to hold to his chest, his chin tucking your head away into the crook of his neck.

„Sh-sh-shhh princess, alpha is here now...” He whispered softly, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as Jin helped put away the other boot.

The packmembers stayed mostly quiet, watchful and worried, sad eyes set on you. They knew more than well, that something was wrong, but they could feel that this was not the right time to ask about it.

„How about a nap little pup?” The packalpha said gently, coming over to brush some of your hair behind your ear, his motions gentle and calm.

It wasn't truly a question, more of an advice he, and all of the rest, hoped you would follow. The tiny nod you gave in answer, before your cheek rested against Jimin's collarbone was more than enough.

And so, the young alpha trotted over to the living room, where in a quick haste Jin and Hobi brought over blankets and pillows of all kind, the two scent plushies and even a few of each hoodies.

To be truthful, the large couch was covered in all of their scents and so when Jimin gently placed you down in middle of the blankets, he was slightly surprised that you wouldn't let go.

His scent was quite literally all around you, he has scented you well too, just a short while earlier, so what was it?

„...stay, oppa...” You whispered, your voice laced with sadness and timidness, having the alpha immediately do whatever you wished for with no such worry.

And so, he crawled in behind you, his back against the backrest with you tightly pulled to his warm chest.

The rest of the packmembers eventually all walked over, each of the alphas making sure to give you as many sweet pecks as they saw fit, their eyes sweet and careful.

„Rest for a little while sunny-bub, alpha will be in his studio okay?” Hoseok whispered sweetly, his nose rubbing up against yours in a cute bunny-like kiss.

Truly, he was worried about you, deeply. Whatever set you off today was surely a bigger issue they would have to go over eventually, but for now, you just needed to have a nice rest of the day.

The alpha didn't feel comfortable having you out of sight for after your sudden drop, but he felt a bit better with Jimin staying with you. He would keep you safe.

And so, he left a soft peck on your forehead, hoping that your still bleary eyes would soon shut and you would enter a calmer dreamland.

Jungkook planned to go work out this afternoon, together with Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin, but the plans seemed to have changed, and for a great reason.

The youngest couldn't help but worry for you so much, like possibly never before, constantly smothering and cooing over your tightly cuddled up form.

Somehow, he couldn't leave you right now, the moment he wanted to get up from the crouched up form, he felt a pang right against his heart and could swear he heard just the tiniest whine come from your direction - and he was right back down next to you to scent you.

„Rest with them for a while Kook, you'll feel better.” Namjoon said knowingly, patting the young alpha's shoulder in understanding.

The packalpha wasn't much better, as he took a seat to the side of you, making sure you were safely tucked away underneath the blankets with both of those scent lambs in your arms.

And so, Jungkook layed down next to you, making sure your ear would rest right against his heartbeat in hopes of it to settle you down better.

Whenever anyone would come closer, the youngest alpha was wide awake, his arms tightly wrapped around you as you napped with Jimin too asleep behind you.

It was Jin this time, the eldest coming over with two coffee mugs in hand, handing one to the packalpha who thanked him quietly.

The oldest alpha took a seat next to Namjoon who was currently typing away on his notebook, though while Jungkook believed it was work related, turned out to be a scent-keychain website.

„Oh, that one is really cute, how about it?” Seokjin mused softly, careful so that his voice wouldn't wake you up. You needed to rest, for at least a little while.

The alpha pointed to the screen where a little teddy bear keychain with a cute, pink tie-up snow hat showed. Surely you would like one like this one?

Namjoon hummed softly, clicking onto the listing to see a specific description.

Introducing our luxurious Scent Plushie Keychain, the perfect accessory for omegas in search of a comforting connection to their pack members. Crafted from an incredibly soft and comfortable luxury material, this keychain is designed to provide a sensory experience unlike any other.

Measuring at approximately 10 cm in size, our Scent Plushie Keychain is small enough to be conveniently carried with you wherever you go. Whether it's attached to your keys, backpack, or stored in your pocket, this keychain ensures that you'll always have a piece of your pack member's scent close at hand.

Created specifically for omegas, the Scent Plushie Keychain allows you to hold onto not just one, but up to five different scents. This means you can carry the comforting aromas of multiple pack members, strengthening the bond between you and your pack.

Each of these scents is carefully preserved, allowing you to experience a rush of familiar emotions whenever you need it most. Whether you're feeling anxious, lonely, or simply need a moment of comfort, a quick sniff of your Scent Plushie Keychain can transport you back to a place of safety and security.

With its exquisite craftsmanship and attention to detail, this Scent Plushie Keychain is designed to be a cherished item, passed down through generations. It not only serves as a physical reminder of your pack members but also as an emblem of your unique place within your pack.

So why wait? Indulge yourself in the ultimate luxury for omegas with our Scent Plushie Keychain. Carry the scents of your pack members with you at all times, and let their comforting aroma surround you, even when they're physically far away. Experience the power of scent as you immerse yourself in the warmth and love of your pack, no matter where life takes you.

„That sounds perfect.” Jin whispered satisfied, it sounded really nice. It looked cute and surely you would like it. All that was left for them to choose their own ones to carry and you would be much safer in the future.

„Yea but look...” The packalpha said softly, opening a cleverly designed to conceal link, which unrolled another further information.

Product Warning:

Before purchasing our Plushie Keychain, we want to ensure that you have all the necessary information to make an informed decision. While our Plushie Keychain is designed with the intention of providing comfort and connection to omegas, it's important to exercise caution and consider the specific needs of your omega partner or self.

This Plushie Keychain has the capacity to hold up to five scents, allowing you to incorporate the comforting aromas of your pack members. However, it is crucial to first consult with your omega to determine if this is the right approach for them. Each omega has unique needs and preferences when it comes to emotional support, and the use of scents may not be suitable or effective for everyone.

We recommend engaging in open and honest communication with your omega partner to understand their specific desires and boundaries. Discussing their comfort level with scent-based items is essential before incorporating our Plushie Keychain into your dynamic.

While our Plushie Keychain can be a wonderful tool for fostering a sense of connection and comfort, it is crucial to respect the boundaries and preferences of your omega. If your omega expresses any discomfort or hesitation regarding the use of scents or this product specifically, we encourage you to explore alternative methods of support that align with their needs.

Remember, the well-being and emotional health of your omega should always be prioritized. Understanding and respecting their preferences is key to maintaining a healthy and thriving bond within the omegaverse.

Please exercise caution, engage in open dialogue, and ensure that the use of our Plushie Keychain aligns with the needs and desires of your omega partner or self. Together, you can navigate the omegaverse and nurture a strong and fulfilling connection.

„See? It only holds 5 scents, we need more...but everything else checks the list.” He said, slight dissapointment lacing his voice. Jin frowned, watching Namjoon exit the tab again, going back to the photo listings.

The eldest alpha stayed by for a while longer, the two together narrowing down the search using the filter to show only the 7+ scents options.

Much less options showed then, but still, the alphas eventually agreed on a MIFFY keychain, the packalpha adding it to the cart.

Soon after, Namjoon chose his own keychain he would keep around in case you would need to help get settled. Jin chose one himself, but they waited for the others to make their choice.

Just as the eldest went to ask Yoongi and Hoseok with Taehyung to take a look, the second oldest and youngest preparing spring rolls, you stirred.

Your eyes fluttered open, a soft yawn leaving you. You went to rub your eye with a loosely closed fist, only to have the packalpha lean over immediately.

„Sh-sh-shh, go back to sleep little pup, alpha is right here. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart...”

He said gently, placing your hand back beside the scent-toy, noticing Jungkook's half asleep eyes set on your form.

You whined softly, having the youngest lean over the right very moment, his nose and chin rubbing vigorously over your cheeks and face.

„It's okay babybun, oppa is here...” He whispered, his sweet eyes set on your form.

„B-But oppa...” You whispered, your voice a bit shallow and raspy from all the sobs and crying you did earlier.

At the sound of your voice, all the attention was onto you, Namjoon stopped the carefully tucking of the many blankets around you, his eyes gentle on your form.

„How about alpha reads for you for a bit then, hm? Come here my littlest pup, alpha will keep you safe...” He said softly, caressing your hair.

You whined out but still, nodded in agreement, letting the packalpha gently lift up your head to set onto his lap as he got comfortable.

With a pillow underneath you he so carefully set up for you, Namjoon sighed in content, relief clouding his mind. You were talking and you told them what you needed, even when not fully and completely.

You would be okay.

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Next:

[verdemoun]

How does it go when John and Javier see each other again? Obviously they have their interaction in rdr1 but they don’t talk about how bad things got in the last chapter of rdr2 and I’m curious if either one of them held any bitter feelings and also if John and/ot Arthur noticed how Javier pointed his gun at the sky, refusing to shoot either one of them?

Raaaaaah john and javier in timewarpppp

important context: i headcanon this interaction in rdr2 was actually a response to john asking javier to leave the gang with him, abigail and jack in a 'we had a thing that can't be a thing anymore because i do love my wife and my son and am entirely devoted to keeping them safe but i do still Care about you and don't want to lose you' and javier's response was like 'oh great so i'll be the little mexican peasant turned farmhand waiting for the big tough landowner to get bored of his wife and come fuck me?'

^^ in saying this javier didn't snitch to dutch or micah that john very much had a plan in place to leave because he was still loyal to john too. it was a great act of love to feel like he was betraying dutch but letting john have that chance even though he still felt like john was betraying the gang too

look i love me some toxic yaoi i'm the problem it's me

ALSO in timewarp canon, John did kill Javier and hand his corpse over to the bureau instead of taking Javier in alive. it was a mercy killing in a sense because he did capture Javier alive but he knew Javier too well and did still love him. he didn't want him going through whatever torture they had planned and he knew Javier was afraid as much as he hid it behind taunts and insults.

all of them lived so many lives between 1899 and 1911. javier timewarped, saw the gang and broke down crying like tears of relief to see them but also just the guilt and shame wanting to admit they were right dutch abandoned him the second the pinkertons turned up and he should have trusted arthur and he was a fool not to see through dutch and for arthur it's more of a 'oh shit that's right you were still in beaver hollow too'

it's not something that haunts arthur?? at some point he stopped thinking about that moment it's not a core memory for arthur. he remembers susan being killed, dutch still not believing micah was the rat, the relief of realizing john was still alive only to be cut short by trying to help his little brother flee and saying goodbye knowing it was the last time while still begging dutch to see some semblance of reason and do not go with micah. who was pointing what at who was a detail lost to memory a long time ago

javier escuella was no one's priority in chapter 6. and that hurts ME but also like javier being able to slip away because not even the pinkertons would prioritizes chasing him over hunting down The Dutch van der Linde. no one remembered or held onto what javier did in chapter 6.

javier is so desperate for the gang back and so willing to forget all the bad things and the dark years between 1899-1911. the gang are honestly pretty happy to just let javier be himself in a much more he wants to be rdr2 guitar playing suave loser javier instead of some dictator's hired gun

john and javier, however, is like. they still love each other guys they are the same breed of doomed as arthur and mary where it just would never work but that love is still there.

javier is sorry john didn't get to go back to his family. he genuinely feels bad because he knows john didn't willingly decide to hunt him down after 12 years (well maybe the gang had to fill him in on the whole abigail and jack were literally being held hostage situation but javier didn't hold onto that anger for long at all)

john very honestly says he is sorry for what happened in 1911 and if he had any other choice he would never choose to capture or kill javier. what he does not say is he has nightmares over the second he pulled the trigger and javier became a corpse and the angst of being so used to seeing corpses but the fact it was javier, having to carry him limp to the awaiting bureau car, the absolute psychological toll it had on him.

there is an intensely painful moment where while neither one says it they are both have the thought of 'well abigail isn't going to be here for three years do we - pick up with how things were in 1899?' cross their minds

But john is so in love with abigail and missing his wife and also having his daughter back having to raise her as a sole parent for 3 years until abigail gets there when the cumulative time he spent with jack one-on-one probably doesn't even add up to three years.

javier is having to redefine himself. he really doesn't know who he is being with the gang again. he half expects to look into the mirror and see his younger rdr2 self but it's not. does he really want to immediately fall back into john and what is for lack of better words an affair? getting to play house and be in a relationship until the second abigail appears and knowing he will never be john's priority over her?

damn if only there was some autistic irish loser who also loves fishing, understands the intense complexity of guilt and betrayed loyalty, abandoning ideals for the sake of survival, and could help javier learn he deserves better than being john's second choice

javier and bill though are also proper friends they get to talk to each other about it because both have very intense responses and different perspectives on beaver hollow. also hc they ran with each other for a fair while after the gang fell apart before splitting off because bill was slowly starting to form his own gang and javier was just tired and did not want to go through that again esp because bill was already power tripping.

[glux2]

Musing: Emotional connection

Recently a very close person to me suggested i binge watch "Angel Hare", before that day my only exposure to that project was a fan game that had a very funny punchline in lampooning the "cursed videogame" genre.

So i watched the whole thing and it was great.

This scene right here made me feel more feelings than most of the media i have watched/played/read in like the last 5 years or so.

So it made my mind wonder, like, "hold on, when was the last time i felt this strongly about a piece of entertainment?"

Sure, if you know me, i felt strongly about the ongoing plotline for Noelle on Deltarune, so one would think "2021 when chapter two came out", right? but no, i got very invested but it wasn't it.

The last time i felt so strongly about a piece of media was actually Deltarune's predecesor, Undertale in 2015.

I finished Undertale in tears, i got in a very bad funk when i found out about the genocide ending, it truly made me feel emotions.

So i began to ponder, just what really moves me?

Full disclosure: I don't cry at movies. This is not a "look at me i am a badass who is not beheld by feelings" statement, no, i kinda just dont connect emotionally with movies as easily as other people.

I have talked about this, many times actually, Toy Story 3 did not make me cry, it always bothers me how people at the time were like "if TS3 didn't make you cry, you have no soul" and shit like that, so let me repeat something i have said many times before:

Toy Story 3 was a movie i went to see the day doctors had informed me my mother had entered terminal phase of cancer.

My friends took me to see TS3 when i felt the greatest sadness i have ever felt in my entire life. And im glad TS3 was a pretty funny movie that managed to distract me from what i was going through. TS3 uplifted me when i had a very real reason to cry.

So what im getting at is, i rarely connect emotionally with what conventionally makes people emotionally connected, not that i havent felt strong emotions from movies, but as we'll get to later, it's just not the stuff you would expect, when we get back to movies you'll be thinking, "what the fuck, Toy story 3 did not make you emotional but THIS THING DID?!"

So, if traditional "emotional things" rarely have moved me i began to think to myself, "what are things that have made me feel this strongly?"

I realized it's the damn weirdest things.

I'll try to list things that i can remember making me feel this emotional.

Now i'll be upfront, im not a very cultured person, so you'll notice most of this is...not very high brow.

Also, obviously spoilers for all this stuff im about to talk about.

Before we begin: Honorable mention goes to me finding out i had repressed memories of being traumatized as a kid by being show an animated adaptation of "Pilgrim's progress" by an aunt, which disturbed me greatly towards the end as the main character dies and before it the souls of two people he met are condemned to eternal damnation from making MISTAKES, not sins, not evil, but THE FUCKING MISTAKE of exploring alternate routes before them.

-Yoshi's Island, 1994 When i was a wee one Yoshi was one of my fave videogame characters, so of course i was beyond hype when a game where you play as yoshi came out, the ending is one of the greatest moments in videogame history, the beautiful music, the journey of the stork, and finally the classic Mario fan fare playing as baby mario and baby luigi being held by their parents with the words "Heroes are born", it's such a powerful moment. To this day i still cannot listen to that credits music without tearing up.

Sequel? Retcon?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SHUT UP, THIS IS THE PERFECT ENDING AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AFTER IT!

-The bicentennial man, 1999 The bicentennial man is one of the biggest examples of a movie being fucking mischaracterized in the marketing, this movie is based on Isaac Asimov's short story and later novel, it stars Robin Williams, so all marketing was presenting the movie as Robin Williams comedy movie, IT. IS. NOT. The bicentennial man is a scifi drama about the existential search for meaning and the nature of what truly is to be alive. You get invested on the quest of this robot trying to find humanity for 200 years, and the punchline to this movie is, in his quest for humanity he forgoes the immortality being a machine provides him as he had developed the way to turn himself biological, still artificial but biological, and he dies peacefully on his sleep before he can be told that humanity had declared him, legally, a human being. To me it was such a powerful moment, he found true meaning to his life, became human, yet died before knowing so.

-Courage the cowardly dog, "The Mask", 2002 This is a legendary episode of an already great show that has a lot of very good emotional moments, some may cite episodes like "the giving tree" or "the last star maker", but for me it's this one. For those who have never experienced this episode, it revolves around a cat girl named Kitty who one day shows up at Courage's farm and she's wearing an upsetting mask, she abuses courage because she believes all dogs are bad. The mask serves 2 purposes, one is metaphorical, "her inability to face reality", the second is to hide her identity as she believes she is in danger. The thing is, she is on the run because her lover best friend Bunny is trapped in an abusive relationship with a gangster dog who threatened to kill her if she was seen near Bunny ever again, the episode coats the whole situation with a ton of goofiness, but it's actually very fucking dark: A young lesbian is trapped against her will on an abusive relationship with a toxic, violent man who threatened to kill her girlfriend if she refused to date him. Courage, being a good little dog ventures to save Bunny and have her reunite with Kitty because, despite how bad Kitty was to him, he recognizes that Kitty is a victim and she and Bunny deserve better, leading to Courage letting them escape away together, to live happy and free. I don't think it's just me, but the final image of Kitty and Bunny hugging as the train takes them to freedom felt so powerful to me.

-Twisted Metal Head-on, 2002 This is one of the weirdest things i have ever gotten emotionally invested, but honestly? i love when some shitposting franchise suddenly manages to pull this off, specially given the set up for this whole thing im going to describe starts in an early game as a fucking joke. So to contextualize this, the first two Twisted metal games were helmed by the og creators of the franchise, TM 3, 4 and small brawl were made by different developers when the creators lost the rights, but during the PS2 era when the og developers came back and created TM: Black, and TM: Head-on, Black was a reboot, Head-on was a retcon sequel to TM 2 that eliminated TM3 from the timeline, but not TM 4. Still with me? Okay so TM2 had this character, Krista Sparks, who was the revealed to be the daughter of the main antagonist of the game, Calypso, but hold on? wasn't Calypso's backstory that his family died in a tragic accident which lead him to become evil? So turns out, the FBI retrieved his daughter's corpse, turned it into a robot with a bomb with the intend to make her get close to Calypso and blow him up. The ending ends comically with a message reading "The FBI wishes to thank you for putting an end to Twisted metal". Stil Still with me?!?!?! ok! so Head on! In this game Krista is back, as a ghost, her ending consists on her confronting her dad, who has now brought up so much pain, misery and death to the world, Calypso tries to explain that the nature of his powers mean he has to do this otherwise he cannot use his powers, and his plan was for Krista to win so he could bring her back and her mom to life, but Krista is so horrified with what has happened that she refuses and blurts "I wish the accident that killed me and mom never happened" the intention being impeding Calypso from becoming this evil super natural villian, but as per all endings, it's always a monkey paw affair and Calypso knows it, looking saddened he grants the wish because he has no option, his powers force him to. Briefly Krista has a vision of her childhood with her dad before he became evil as they share a sweet moment playing on a swing set. HARD CUT TO A HOSPITAL, Krista is on a bed in coma, Calypso is there and whispers to her something along the lines of "Sleep tight my dear, may you finally find peace", as Calypso is leaving the hospital you can hear 2 doctors talking, mentioning that Krista had been in coma for more than a decade and apparently Calypso just had found out. Excuse me Twisted Metal, but WHAT THE FUCK? You are a dumb fucking edgy car combat game, how dare you make me feel these things?

-Mother 3, 2006 (translation on 2008) Mother 3 hopefully needs no introduction, or maybe it does, because many people have reduced it to a joke due to how nintendo stubbornly refuses to give us an official release, but also many of you must know this franchise is the spark that ignited the flame of the absolute Juggernaut Undertale would become, as well as many other games influenced by it. The Mother/Earthbound games were known for being quirky and deviating from the standard conventions of the game, notably for the modern day setting and unorthodox choices of how you deal with the villians, they were always billed as emotional, but i feel they did not live up to that...until 3. The general narrative to Mother 3 is about how greed is destroying the world, the main villian corrupting what we see of the world (a paradise little town where everybody is nice) by introducing luxury, money and status....and also stomping everything with his fascist army and cyborg mutants. Mother 3 is a game about how the worst traits of humanity are destroying the world and upsetting nature. Mother 3 is also the story of 2 twin brothers who suffer tragedy after tragedy after tragedy that ultimately pits them one against the other with the fate of the world at stake. Mother 3 punches you almost immediately by killing the mother character (which i might mention you're encouraged to name after your own mother) at the end of the first chapter and how this affects her surviving family. one of the Twins, Claus, is so disturbed that he decides to on on his own to try to kill the monster that took his mom, while the other, Lucas, was too afraid and weak to stop his brother, resulting on Claus dying as well...but the badguys take his corpse and reanimate it into a cold, emotionless cyborg who follow's the big bad's order and is using him to try to cause the end of the world. In the climax of the story Lucas is force to confront Claus, clause is a brain washed cyborg, his master is out of the picture and all he can do is fight, you can't reason with him...and then.... Lucas and Claus begin to hear a voice, a familiar voice, it's their mother, reaching for them from beyond the grave, pleading for them to stop fighting, suddenly Lucas and Claus both have a flash back to when they were babies, overhearing their parents talk about the hopes they have for them, the many things they will be able to achieve together, this makes Clause snap out of his brain washing, removing the helmet that had been hiding his face since he was resurrected, Lucas and him have a moment as they are finally reunited, Claus realizes all the bad things he has done while under control of the bad guy and realizes he must atone for his crimes, he prepares a lightning attack he knows cannot hurt Lucas and cause HIM to die. "Im sorry for all the problems i caused" he says as he is dying on his dad's arm, "I must go to where mom is now", as he passes away he can hear his mother calling for him, "You just be so tired" she says. Now i know it will sound insane for people to hear a videogame of all things can make one so emotional, but damn, just recollecting these scenes for this dumb post has made me start to cry, the emotional punch of this scene is very strong, it demolished me when i played the game back in the day, but now? After my own mother passed away? I have been scared of playing this game again. I mot sure if im emotionally prepare to go though that again, even 10+ years later. That's how powerful this scene was to me.

-Elite Beat Agents, 2007 If you have played this game, you know were im going, for those who dont, EBA is a silly rhythm game about secret agent cheer leaders that are dispatched around the world to help people in need by raising their spirit and allow them to overcome adversity, the game is insanely wacky and have scenarios like helping a ninja car salesman prevent a company from stealing his company's secrets, helping a washed up baseball star fight a lava spitting golem rampaging on an amusement park and traveling back in time to help davinci paint the mona lisa. EBA is also the second game in the Ouendan series, and there is something you need to know about this series: They all include tearjerker levels to contrast with all the goofiness. "A christmas Wish" is a christmas themed level set to Chicago's "You are the inspiration" and the story to this level is positively DEVASTATING: A few months before christmas a business man tells his daughter and wife he has to go on a business trip but he promises he'll be back just in time for christmas, the girl asks him to bring back a "girlfriend" for her teddy bear. The father dies on a plane crash. When the mother breaks the news to the little girl she gets angry, crying to the skies that her dad promised he would be back for christmas. The backdrop of the stage is set the girl and the mom doing things to remember the dad, like looking through a photo album and baking a cake for his birthday, it's very sweet, but...this is EBA, if you're doing poorly you see the "bad" versions of these scenes, and in this one, one is very devastating, the little girl is having a dream where she's chasing the spirit of her dad, if you're doing well she calls for him and for a brief moment the dad stops and starts turning towards her, if you're doing bad the spirit fades away and the girl wakes up in tears. Dear goodness. But of course, if you beat the level you get this sequence of the ghost of the dad showing up on chrismas morning to fullfil his promise, giving the little girl the teddy bear he promised and having the chance to say good bye to his family.

This punches you really fucking hard in the gut. I am incapable of doing this level without ending in tears. For a time i could not even listen to this song without tearing up until, i shit you now, the deadpool movie used it on a comedy scene.

-Punch out!!, 2009 This one is one i know got me because of personal nostalgia, when i was a wee one the og NES punch out was a big part of my childhood, Punch Out!! on the wii was a masterfully crafted tribute to the franchise. To not dwell too much time on this, this game has an interesting quirk, the ending is a downer ending and it's the only ending you can get. After you beat the last opponent there is a sequence where Mac and Doc seemingly are having a disagreement, where Mac seemingly has decided that if he loses 3 times, he'll retire from boxing completely. After this you face randomly opponents from the game, the first time you lose in this mode you lose your champion title, after three loses, it's game over and the story mode becomes locked for that save file. The final cutscene is Doc walking through what seems to be a gallery with boxing memorabilia, and untold number of years later, he is alone, he spots his old bike on this gallery and rings the bell, he looks up and speak to an absent Mac, "Good job son, good job", as he leaves the camera pans to reveal he was looking at a framed photo of him and Mac on one of their training sessions. The music on this sequence is so perfect, and it was aimed at people like me, people who grew up with the franchise, the idea was making it feel like Doc was reminiscing of YOUR time with punch out when you were a kid, and to make you think about how far YOU have come since the first time you played the games in an arcade, or your nes, or snes. It's actually pretty effective and it got me.

-Regular Show, "Trucker Hall of Fame", 2012 What makes this one different from others instances of me making me emotional, it's, much like the "Angel Hare" example at the top, this one is all about WARM HAPPY FEELINGS, so for those who did not watch this episode, let me summarize it for you: One day Muscleman gets word that his dad, who was his personal hero, has passed away, and he's tasked with carrying his final wish, spread his [hat's] ashes in a place called "Trucker hall of fame", you see, Muscleman was lead to believe his dad was a legendary trucker and that earned him his admiration, but during the episode Muscleman finds out he was lied to, his dad was a forklift driver that the truckers belittled, altho feeling cheated for having been lied to he carries on with his father's wishes. Now because this is regular show, when they arrive at the trucker's hall of fame they are immediately attacked by ghost trucker for "desecrating the hall of fame" as they spread the ashes something happens: The ghost of Muscleman's dad manifests himself and saves his son, taking the chance to apologize to his son and having the chance to say his final good bye personally. Despite the inherent silliness of the show's premise, i think this episode really did a good job on expressing that sense of catharsis of making peace with the passing of a love one.

-The Final Girls, 2015 A friend suggested we watched this movie, and much like Twisted metal up there, i absolutely did not expect for this incredibly stupid comedy horror movie to hit me with any sort of emotional connection, and yet... The Final Girls opens with the main character in a car with her mom, who is an struggling C-tier actress whose biggest achievement ever was appearing on a Friday the 13th knock off movie, during this sequence they get in an accident where the mom dies and even after it's been some time since the accident the main character has not properly moved on from the passing of her mom. Her friends and some people at the college she attends are preparing this horror movie festival where the main event is they are going to play the movies from the franchise her mom was on, and they suggest she should come. Then some bullshit happens and they all end up somehow trapped in the world of the movie. A quick rundown of the rules of horror movies is explained to them, the monster cannot be defeated by fighting it, it's only the final girl who can defeat the killer, and unfortunately for them they accidentally killed the character that, in the canon of the movie, is the final girl, so they believe one of them has to become the final girl and end the movie to hopefully get out of it. The problem is, the main character is experimenting shock from interacting with her mom's character, she is not taking well to seeing her mom on the flesh and she dedicates the entire movie to "save her mom", in the climax of the movie the mom character begins to understand that she is a fictional character and the nature of her attachment to the main character, understanding that they cannot be both the final girl and if then main character wants to make it back to the real world she has to learn "To let go", choosing to sacrifice herself so there is only one final girl. It's kinda weird, that of all possible premises, this managed to make a "You need to move on" message that somehow managed to resonate with me, you might have figured out by now a running theme here, but, i was really hard for me to deal with my mother's passing even if it's been years since it happened, so it's kinda funny for me to think these are the places i have found comfort from.

-Undertale, 2015 Okay this is tumblr, i already talked about Undertale on the prologue to, whatever the fuck im doing here, you know what undertale is, you know how effective it is, Undertale is really well designed for you to grow emotionally attached to these characters, so being able to see all these characters you know have grown attached to have their happy ending on the pacifist ending does fill one with a very satisfactory warm happy feeling that can move you to tears. ...Or you can be bummed out by being a little greedy gaming bitch and taking a look at the bad ending. Because you just couldn't help yourself, could you?

-Onward, 2020 This movie did not hit me as hard as the most emotional entries on this, but it still got me, because in the end of the day the main motivation of the characters on this movie is experiencing closure, catharsis over the death of their father, for Ian it's the fact that he died before he was born so he never met him and is driven by this desire to finally see the father who he shares such a connection with on the stories everybody who knew him in life have told him, and then there is Barley, the elder brother, who did know his dad in life, but is tortured by how, as a kid, he did not properly say good bye to him because he was terrified of death and avoided being there for him in his final days. The ending for this movie is very powerful, Ian choosing to sacrifice being able to meet his dad in the flesh, even for a few minutes, in order to give Barley the chance to being able to properly make peace with his dad and properly say good bye to him. Ian doesn't even get to SEE this, he does not get to see his dad even tho it was what he wanted most of all, but he understood bringing closure to Barley was more important than his selfish desire to see his dad, someone he never knew in life.

So what have i learned from whatever the hell this trainwreck of a post is...i guess that what really gets to me, what really moves me, is when a character, maybe not even someone i can realistically relate to, gets to experience closure, catharsis and be in peace with the people who are missing on their life. The majority of these things in here, even the Angel Hare example, relate to a character being able to experience catharsis by being able to properly make pace or otherwise contact someone they lost, or their ability to move on from this world, so to speak, knowing that their affairs and in order and that their loved ones will be okay.

Things can always look dark, the world may be trying to keep you down, maybe losing someone has been specially hard for you, but it's not the end of the world, you are loved and things can get better, it always hurts and we'll never stop missing what we have lost, but the memories of happier times are there to remind us, we can be happy again, and we can move on, use those memories as your motivation, you can lead yourself to a future filled with light.

[miskamix]

Young love [Chapter 6]

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Err sorry this took like 4 months to make

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"I'm sorry about what happened with you and chuuya.."  i say quietly and look at him. I feel as if everything that happened between them was my fult. 'i shouldn't have joined that drinking game.. maybe then we wouldn't be in this situation' i think while putting my hand on dazai's shoulder as a way to try and comfort him. 

"It isn't your fult.. its mine.. you got dragged into this because of me" I see him look down at his lap seeming like he was thinking about something. "is something wrong...?" i ask him quietly and i hear him sigh slightly, "...I've just been feeling quite down.. since what happened between me and chuuya... and that i miss my dad.." He mumbles under his breath and i can hear that hes trying not to cry in front of me. "..Your dad.? what happened to him? if you dont midn me asking" I sit down next to him while keeping a small distance from him. It takes a while before he actually says something "..He.. He died.. when i was 18.."

I just sit there in silence since i'm a bit shocked, i didn't expect him to tell me his dad fucking died!? I thought he was gonna say something like "My dad and i stoped talking because of a big fight we had!" Or something like that! "..oh.. thats terrible.." is the only thing i say before i just shut up and try to figure out what to say next, 'WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA SAY?? I'VE NEVER COMFORTED SOMEONE WHOSE DAD DIED' i panic a bit on the inside.

"..I.. uhh.. would.. you like a hug?" I open my arms slightly and i see him look at me for a bit, before hesitantly moving closer to me until we are actually hugging. "..just know you can talk to me about anything you want.. i may not be the best person to comfort someone but i will try my best" i say nervously while patting his back. I hear him chuckle at my bad attempt at comforting him. 

For a while me and Dazai just sit there talking about stuff like school and other things that have happened in the pest few months. "who do you think made up the rumor about us hooking up in the bathroom?" i suddenly ask him and he goes quiet. after a few seconds he opens his mouth to answer "If i'm honest, i have no idea, i don't really know anyone who would do that. Like, there are some petty bitches here but i'm pretty sure no one would be that petty to do that, and we don't really have any enemies i would say" He says and looks at me, "or? have you made any enemies?" i look at him and shake my head, "no, i can't recall becoming enemies with anyone, and if i'm honest i haven't really talked to anyone other then you, chuuya, our next door neighbors and like 4 other people" 

While me and Dazai talk about the rumor, we hear Chuuya walk out of his bedroom to go to the bathroom and we both quiet down. "...I wasn't expecting to see him up this late.." I whisper under my breath and get up to go to my room. "I'll go to bed now so i don't have to bother with Chuuya if he wants to pick a fight" i say to Dazai and he just nods. 

When i get into the room i kick some clothes out of the way and walk over to my bed, 'My parents would kill me if they saw this mess' i think while throwing my shirt onto the pile of clothes. I quickly puff up my pillow and lay down in my bed while pulling the blanket over me. While trying to fall asleep i listen to the rain drops hitting the window quietly. I toss and turn for a bit before i find a comfortable position to lay in. 

After some time i just take my phone to scroll on it for a bit since i can't sleep, and while on instagram i see someone commented "Fucking homewrecking whore" on one of my posts. "..bitch.. you look like monkey with a birth defect.." i mumble while insulting the person back. 

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This chapter is a lot shorter then the other ones since i got lazy(again) also sorry for no new chapters since february 💀 Anywasy there might one more chapter coming but idk yet, i'm on summer break so i have more time now. sorry for any spelling mistakes if there are any!

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (9)

@tastetherainbow290 long (ish) one today

chapter 17

author says they’re excited for this chapter… should i be scared

yeah. i’m scared.

SYBILL!!!!!! AND LILY!!!!!!!! AHHHH

dumbledore mention

omg i love sybill and lily

im obsessed with lily actually

are they like district 13 or like what is this. is dumbledore president coin

poppy!!!! ok i am liking this chapter a lot

remus sacrificed himself for lily ❤️‍🩹

oh. lily thinks remus is dead. and remus thinks lily is dead?! remu and lily reunion when

i gasped

sirius pov ok

frank mention!!

evan 💔

james and reg ☹️ ugh i just feel so bad for everyone

dorcas!!!!

molly!!! 

rip fab and gid 💔

oh no molly doesn’t know

dorcas what are you doing you have to tell her

ok she’s telling her but did molly have to strangle her 😭

order mention!!

sirius pov

pandora my love <3

james talking to sirius omg i’m going to cry

regulus jump scare

“I’m just saying, maybe you'd appreciate it if I put them down yours instead” JAMES

wolfstar eeeeee

me trying to contain my happiness bc i’m in a silent classroom

oh no now it’s getting sad

oh yeah. i forgot remus has to stay here.

AHHHH FINALLY they’re kissing

WHY IS THE FIRE ALARM GOING OFF RIGHT NOW READ THE ROOM NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR A FIRE DRILL

“if you like you could do it again” smooth, sirius.

and they’re doing it again

“is it too soon to be sure i love you” i have goosebumps rn

ok this was a good chapter

chapter 18

remus pov!!

mary mention!!!! i hope we see her in this i love mary so much

SIRIUS LICKED JAMES 😭😭 yeah he would.

eeeee they’re kissing again

remus being sirius’ first lover 😯

and they’re kissing again

PANDORA NO 😭

ugh i love her so much

james pov again!!! this means the game which means sadness but JEGULUS

“Oh, look at that convenient cave over there,” yeah james that’ll work

unrelated but my neck hurts really bad rn

james only surviving for regulus ugh. i love them. 

james being a hopeless romantic

“if you tell me what the mitochondria is, I'm not sure I'll be able to restrain myself” BAHA JAMES

regulus writing about james in his journals he is so me

he burned them?! he really is just like me. 

james being regulus’ first crush ahhhhh

“you made me feel” AHHHHHHH

not regulus almost killing peter and then just LEAVING

reg pov!!

regulus being…. silly

hmmm maybe these thoughts you’re having about james mean something? did you ever consider that?

not regulus thinking james ABANDONED him sweetie no james would NEVER

chapter 19

JAMES!!!

did i just predict that

regulus you do trust james don’t lie

ugh

"I'll kill them if they try it. I'll kill them all before they ever got a chance to lay a hand on you." REGGIEEEEE AHHHHH

vanity!!!

yeah. how are the rest of them gonna die. like. aghhhh i cant think about this now

“at least no one is calling him lover boy” nooo don’t think about evan

ant juice 😭 poor vanity

oh no the fires. this is just like what happened to rue.

oh no. they’re all going to die. ahhhhhh

peter is doing it 💔

LITTLE LOVE BLANKET IM CRYING

vanity is so cute im not ready to lose her

confession time (5) ive had to pee so bad for the last like 2 hours but i’ve just been reading this and i don’t want to get up 

vanity and hodge unexpected duo

vanity is so me rn

her asking james about kissing 😭

james “love isn’t even that great” potter, everyone.

i love that the harry potter lingo is used in this. like hallow, auror, horcrux. it just is so silly

vanity PLEASE do not die. i am literally begging you do not die right now.

vanity naming the hornet 😭

IRENE AND PETER 😭 jump scare but honestly good for her

oh poor james

him blatantly lying about him and reg i just know sirius knows

i live for jealous regulus

irene is an ICON i am not ready to lose her

i feel like vanity is going to try to smuggle vespa and then someone is going to die because of it

regulus calling james the sun. even as a joke im giggling rn 

ahhh kiss kiss kiss

nooo they’re leaving

should i read another chapter??

[scarisd3ad]

Trouble

Chapter - two (They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?)

Pairing(s) - Stu Macher x fem!reader x Billy Loomis

Previous >> next

Summary - They say I did something bad, then why's it feel so good? most fun I ever had, and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could. It just felt so good, good.

(A/N) - I know it’s been almost 4 months since the first chapter was posted but I finally got myself caught up and finally got this finished!

Warnings - mentions of murder, mentions of blood, regular scream warnings, infidelity, cursing, violent language, violent situations, murder, graphic descriptions of violence and murder, blood, many character deaths.

Masterlist

Taglist

It's 9:30 Stu, Billy, and I are sitting in my kitchen dressed in our Ghostface robes. The only thing that was left was our masks, which each sat on my kitchen counter. "You ready?" Stu asks as he hands me the glistening hunting knife. We each had one just in case we ran into trouble.

It's exactly 10 pm when we see Steve's car pull up in front of Casey's house. Stu and Billy do the hard part of kidnapping Steve Orth. They drag him into my house, and duct tape him to a yard chair in my living room. I'm still scared we might get caught, that somehow either one of them will escape and we'll all go to jail.

Steve wakes up right as Stu and Billy are bickering about who's going to end up killing him. "I want to kill him; I was the one who came up with the idea to kill him," Stu whispers shouts as he crosses his arms over his chest. "Well, I came up with the entire fucking plan, so I should be the one to do it." Billy says. Steve's eyes flutter open, but the two are too engrossed in their conversation to notice. Steve's eyes flicked across the room, trying to make sense of what was going on. His eyes stopped on me first, then Stu, then Billy, holding the knife. By then, he knew he was in deep shit. He struggles, trying to pull his arms and legs out of the duct tape restraints. "Wha-what the hell's going on?!" Steve shouts. 

Billy's head cocks to the side. "We just wanna play a game, Steve," he says, his voice now modified by a voice changer that we bought at the Halloween pop-up shop. Steve's eyes furrow eyes still flicking between each one of us. "wha-what?" Billy laughs as he approaches Steve. He caresses his face with the sharp blade of his knife. Billy ignores Steve's answers and goes on the explain the rules of the 'game'. "The rules are simple: you answer our questions correctly, and your girlfriend doesn't get gutted like a fuckin' pig." the mention of Casey lights a fire inside of Steve. He struggles desperately, trying to break free. "You better not fucking hurt her! I'll fucking kill you if you touch her!" I can practically see Billy's smile through his mask as he presses the blade against Steve's neck.

Billy stood there, silent and intense, almost as if he were telepathically threatening him. Steve, oblivious to the warning, continued to fidget and threaten to kill us all if we didn't release him. Billy doesn't waste another second before slitting Steve's throat, letting him bleed out in my living room. "Well, that was boring," Stu mutters under his breath as he and Billy drag Steve's lifeless body into Casey's backyard.

-

Everything else goes according to plan. We sneak into her house using the spare key hidden under the doormat. We wait and listen as she enters the house. Then, Billy calls her, she discovers Steve's body outside on her back patio, and we chase her around. Everything goes smoothly until the very end. Stu isn't able to get to her in time. She's inches from getting away, and I can't let that happen. I run up in front of Stu and grab Casey tightly, holding her against my body before plunging the knife into her chest. She whimpers as I throw her to the ground. She looked down, crying as she watched her blood slowly begin to stain her cream-colored sweater.

I kneel to the ground, about to finish her off, when she attempts to knock the knife out of my hands. I'm quick to wrap my hand around her neck. She desperately grabbed at my hands, trying to loosen my grip as she cried. I don't give in, my hands tightening around her throat. But Casey was clever. She kneed me right in the crotch, causing me to double over in pain, and I cursed under my breath. "God dammit. Bitch!" Just when I was starting to recover, I noticed her parents arriving and Casey, despite her injuries, was making her way towards them, limping.

If I didn't act quickly, she would reach them, and we would all be caught. Luckily, the amount of pressure I had put on her neck had caused her to lose her voice, making her unable to call out to them. When I sneaked up behind her, her parents had already gone inside, giving me the perfect opportunity to finish her off. Her body feels lifeless as I push her back onto the creaking wooden porch. Despite her dwindling strength, she manages to reach up and grab my mask, slowly peeling it off my face. I don't care at this point, knowing I'm seconds away from killing her, anyway. Once my face is fully visible, the expression on her face changes. Although the life in her eyes is fading, I discern the shock, confusion, and sense of betrayal that registers in her gaze for a fleeting moment before I draw the knife back and plunge it back into her chest several times. One, two, three, four. 

The only thing that gets me to stop is Stu's hand on my shoulder. I'm panting as I turn around. "Holy shit!" Stu's mask muffles his laugh as he stares down at the carnage that I left behind. "We gotta get her up in that tree before her parents come back out," Billy says as he walks up behind Stu. I grab my mask that was still somehow clutched in her blood-splattered hands. I go back inside as they gut her and tie her up in the tree.

I'm standing in my bathroom washing the blood off of my face. I stare at myself in the mirror, looking at the woman I have become. If we got caught somehow, my life would be over. There'd be no college, no family, no house behind a picket fence. The only thing I'd know is orange jumpsuits and metal bars. Even with the pit of anxiety that sat in my stomach, it all still felt so exhilarating. The blood, the knife, the act of taking someone's life just felt so exciting. I kind of liked it in a way. The knife just felt so good in my hands, and the blood felt so good against my skin.

"Hey-" I jump, dropping the rag I was holding into the sink before spinning around on my heels. Stu stands in the doorway with a smirk on his face as I grasp at my chest. "Oh, my god Stu, you scared me!" I say as he slowly walks towards me. He's still dawning his robes, which are now blood stained. "You did good out there for that being your first kill. I'm impressed," I laugh as he wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. "You think so?" I ask shyly, as if I hadn't stabbed her 4 times in the chest. "Oh, I know so, baby," he says before pressing his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Every time I kissed him, I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. "God, can you two get out of the way?" Billy groans as he walks into the bathroom.

We pull away to see Billy, who is now back in his street clothes. He turns the sink on before splashing water onto his face in an effort to get rid of the splattered blood off of his face. He's going to Sid's after this so he can have an alibi that wasn't us. Stu was going to stay here so I could have an alibi. It'd be suspicious if I was home alone all night while Casey Becker was getting murdered next door. He sneaks out my bedroom window and runs down the alleyway behind the houses in my neighborhood until he's far enough away to feel safe enough to walk down the sidewalk.

- 

20 minutes later, we're laying on my bed, tongues shoved into each other mouths, and my shirt thrown somewhere on the floor. I heard police sirens blaring down our street about 10 minutes ago. I just hoped they wouldn't feel the need to question us. I run my hands through his hair as his lips venture down my neck, sucking and biting at the supple flesh. I didn't mind if he left any marks, if one of the girls, or Randy ever asked, I could always come up with the excuse that I found a boyfriend. It's a dumb excuse, but the girls would be excited. They were always trying to set me up with guys from our school. They didn't want me to feel left out when they were making out with their boyfriends, on movie nights, at parties, or even just our regular lunch spot at school.

I throw my head back, giving him more access to my neck. I'm about to grind up into his body when 3 loud and sharp knocks interrupt us. I yelp before pushing Stu off of me and scattering to try to find my shirt. "Do we have to answer it? Can't we just ignore'em?" Stu asks. we already knew who it was. It was impossible for it not to be the police. "No! we'll seem more suspicious if we don't." I say as I pull my shirt over my head and begin to walk downstairs.

We already had a made-up story for what we were doing tonight, knowing they'd ask. We were just watching movies with Casey, and one other unnamed boy that would take the fall for any hickeys, or the lingering smell of sex on my body. she left at around 9:15 because her boyfriend was coming over, that was the last time we saw her. I pull the deadbolt off before unlocking and throwing the door open to see Dewey Riley. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God it was Dewey. He'd at least be a little more lenient with me. 

I put on my "innocent act." "Hey Dewey," I furrowed my brows and asked, "What's going on?" I looked around, trying to appear confused as I stared at the cop cars and ambulances. Dewey clears his throat "Well...um, Casey Becker was murdered next door" My hand slaps over my mouth as I gasp. Tears pooled in my eyes. I could see the pity in Dewey's eyes. I was good. "We need to question you and any others that are in the house" I nod as I hear Stu begin to walk down the stairs behind me. Dewey's eyes flick up to him, brows furrowing before asking, "Stuart, what are you doing here?" Stu shrugs "Hanging out. What's going on?" I can feel Dewey's eyes settle on the big red hickey that sat on my neck. His eyes then flick up to Stu, whose hair is a mess. I can see the suspicion in his eyes. He clears his throat once again before saying, "We need you two down at the station for questioning."

-

I find myself in a dimly lit interrogation room at the police station, my leg bouncing up and down with nervous energy. Suddenly, a police officer, one I've never met before, enters the room, muttering my name before taking a seat in the chair opposite me. Officer Torres introduced himself and placed a small notepad on the table. "We have a few questions for you. Can you please tell us what you were doing at 9 o'clock tonight?" he inquired. "Um hanging out with friends," I lean back in my chair, trying to make enough eye contact to seem innocent without overdoing it and seeming guilty.

He nodded, then shifted his gaze down to his notepad, where he began to write. "Who all was there?" he asks, now raising his head to look at me again. "Um Stu, me Casey...and this guy she said he older 'n went to the community college. Oh...and Billy, he came over earlier but left to go be with his girlfriend." the officer nods before writing again. "This is Stuart Macher, Casey Becker, and Billy Loomis?" my leg bounced up and down under the table anxiously. I just hoped that Stu was at least sort of sticking to the story we came up with. "Yes, sir." I whisper. He nods, jotting down a few more notes before moving on to the next question "Um what..what exactly happened while you were hanging out? Did Casey seem scared...that something might happen to her? Did she ever mention someone threatening her in any way?" I shook my head; my heart was beating a mile a minute. One wrong move, one slip up, and they would put me away for life. "No sir. We just hung out watching movies and stuff. Casey and the college boy left at...I Dunno maybe 9:30 said her boyfriend was coming over."

I look up at the clock that hangs directly behind the officer. 11 pm. God, I just wished this could all be over with. "What about this other boy? Do you know his name?" he asks. I shake my head. We couldn't give him a name. There was always a possibility this made-up man somehow had an identical real-life counterpart we didn't know about, and our entire plan would be in shambles. "Did they both go back to her house?" I shake my head once again "No..um, I watched him drive off. Something about a house party in the town over" he nods, jotting down a few more notes. "What about Billy Loomis? What time did he leave?" 

The relentless stream of questions felt never-ending. "What did you do after?" "Did you hear anything?" "Are you sure you didn't hear anything?" "Where's your brother tonight?" I just hoped I didn't look too suspicious and that all of my answers seemed true. I didn't get back out into the lobby until 11:30. Stu still wasn't done. I just hoped he didn't do something stupid.

I'm sat by Dewey's desk while he files out some type of paperwork. "Are you going to tell my parents?" I whisper, hoping he wouldn't, but knowing deep down he would because of legality. "Have to since we questioned you. You're a minor." I turned 18 at the end of next month. Did he have to tell them? They'd kill me if they knew I had boys over. "Do you have to tell them about the boys being over? They'll kill me if they knew?" he sighs, looking up at me before saying, "I'll see what I can do."

I stare down at my hands, I'm terrified that the police officer had seen right through me and knew exactly what I did. That I had killed her, and it felt so good. Deep down I hate myself for liking it so much. Tears pool in my eyes as the emotion and realization of what I had done set in. Tears streamed down my face as I desperately tried to wipe them away. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" Dewey asks, as he sets his hand on my shoulder. "I-I just can't believe she's dead!" I sobbed as I wiped at my cheeks. "If I had heard something..." I stop to let a few more tears fall down my cheeks "I could've helped her." 

- 

After Stu finishes his interrogation, Dewey gives us a ride back to my house in his police car. The entire block is still bathed in the eerie glow of the red and blue police lights. The Becker residence is cordoned off with bright yellow crime scene tape, and her parents are standing on the sidewalk, sobbing as they speak with the chief of police. "You sure you wanna stay here? Can take you back to my parent's place? Tatum wouldn't say no to a sleepover." Dewey proposed. I shake my head, mumbling a quiet "no" as I open up the car door. "You need a ride home, Mácher?" Stu also shakes his head as he begins to follow me, sliding out of the cop car. "Nah, my car's here," he says before slamming the door. "Alright, you two stay safe, alright?" Dewey says as he rolls down his window. I nodded, waving goodbye as I walked up the pathway to my house.

Dewey stays parked outside my house as we walk back inside, probably waiting to make sure Stu leaves. "Just drive around the block once. Make sure he's not following you before you come back. Alright?" I say as I close the door. Stu nods as he grabs his car keys off the table that sat in the entryway. "I'll be back. Don't miss me too much," he says with a stupid grin on his lips as he leaves out the front door. As I walk upstairs to my room, all I can think about is what I've become, how much I liked that knife in my hands, and how much I anticipated the next time it'd be in them again.

Taglist

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[writing-whump]

Status: upset and getting worse

Seline is scared, Matthew is upset and Isaiah deals with the fallout. Emeto, fluff and comfort.

✨️You can find the wonderful illustration for this chapter made by @bellysoupset here✨️

Isaiah thought today would be an easy day. Apparently, that was too much to hope for.

When he got out from the parking lot, whistling softly to himself, he noticed a someone cryiny at the bench few meters from their building. The sniffing noises and shaking shoulders...

He turned the corner to take a look if there was something he could help with, only to find it was Seline.

She didn't have a jacket or she was only in her pelty slippers.

"Seline? Hey." He went to her, crouching to be on the same level, watching her teary face. He could see no injury or obvious cause...and why wasn't she inside?

Seline looked up at him, sniffling. She gave him a strained smile, rubbing at her cheek, trying to take her composure back.

"What's wrong? You are crying." He hesitated but then reached for her hands to hold them in his in her lap.

"It's fine, I just..." she stiffened again, fresh tears welling up.

"You are cold. Come on inside and you can tell me all about it," he said softly, tagging at her hands.

She recoiled from him. "No! I'm not going up there."

Isaiah's head went back a little. Okay, something was very wrong here.

"Did something happen with Matthew?" He asked, dread clawing up his back.

"Oh, did something happen with Matthew?" She said mockingly through her tears, crossing her arms on her chest. "What would happened with Matthew? Ah, you mean how he threw a wolf jealousy fit, pulled his shadow on me and scared my student into getting sick on the sidewalk?"

Isaiah stiffened. "Did he attack you?"

"Yes. No. Technically he just pulled his shadow up and then didn't follow us out, so I guess we should all thank him and be happy."

Okay, this was more than alarming. He thought Matthew was pretty settled with them since they moved in together and he and Seline seemed to get along well. They went to all those bonding activities she came up with and dozed off together on the couch and all in all their new roomate situation seemed to have been working well...

He needed to know the whole story. From Matthew as well. But he couldn't just leave her here crying alone, could he?

Isaiah sat down on the bench next to her. "Come on upstairs. You are cold. You don't have to talk to him. I'll figure this out, hmm?"

"No, I'll not. This was a mistake, all of it." She looked at him accusingly.

He didn't know what to say. But she was trembling so he shook of his coat and threw it over her shoulders.

The gesture made her blink and cry harder again.

"Seline..." He said helplessly.

"You are going to be on his side, aren't you?! Because he is a wolf, and he can't help it, and it's just that his shadow is strong and of course he would react to a foreign wolf on his turf..." Tears were sliding down her cheeks freely now, in quick succession, dripping from her chin and skipping to the side into her hair.

He was starting to understand this though. Seline said she didn't like how her parents coddled her younger brother when his pubertal hormones and moods made it harder to control his shadow. She had moved away after an argument with him.

On the other hand Matthew never had a pack of his own. His shadow was so troublesome in combination with his bad temper, he was always rejected. Of course he would react to challenges to his place and territory, even the smallest one...and more so because they weren't an official pack and it made their shadows insure. Shadows were primal, primitive sides of them. They wanted clear territories and people that were theirs, to feel stable. To know whom to fight and who to protect.

If they had become a pack at the beginning, Matthew's shadow could never turn against her. Not against his witch.

These would have been all understandable issues separately. But they have both just kicked their sensitive points with their hurts.

And Isaiah didn't know how to clone himself to treat them both at the same time. If he could cut himself in half, he would.

"Well? What are you silent for? Just say it-" she spat with anger at him.

"I hate to see you cry," he said quietly, looking at her. Her tears made his stomach tightened and heart squeeze painfully and made him want to shake someone or break something. How could she doubt that?

Seline's eyes widened, the anger fading as something hopeful and vulnerable replaced it.

He opened his arms for her, offering, letting her choose the next move.

She sniffled and then basically threw herself into his arms, face smashing against his chest. Crying even harder.

Her closer his arms around her gently, lips on her hair. "Of course I'm on your side. I'm always on your side, silly."

Isaiah rubbed her back as she cried against him, hands balling up into his shirt. He could feel her tears seeping into the fabric.

"Shhhh. It's okay. I'm here, so it will work out, okay?" He pulled his coat more snugly around her, his shadow very happy to have her wrapped in his scent like that.

It had been clearly the right thing to say, for despite her crying her breaths were slowing down and she nuzzled her face into him. It was making his heart beat all faster, hoping she wouldn't notice.

Isaiah only cursed himself for not carrying handkershiefs on him, when Seline pulled back a little, wiping her face into her hands. She had that wobbly smile now that he was coming to recognize as her way of getting herself back under control.

"You still don't want to go up? Even if I go with you?" He asked.

Seline just shook her head. Isaiah held her by the shoulders for a bit, enjoying the excuse for contact that would soon run out.

"Listen. What about you go to the coffee house across the street, get a chai latte and cake or whatever you like and come back, when you feel better? My wallet is here," he tugged against the inside pocket of his coat still draped over her shoulders. It didn't escape him that she had left the apartment without anything on her to pay with. "Come up, when you feel ready. Or text me if you want some company. I'll go first and deal with this." He was getting seriously worried about Matthew as well, but didn't want to sound like he was ignoring her worries either.

Seline didn’t protest the idea, so he hoped it wasn’t an insensitive offer as he made his way towards the apartment. Her scent and tears were clinging to the front of his shirt and he only had his suit jacket and not the coat, so he looked a little rumpled.

When he opened the door, he was met with a sight.

The walls, floor and the windows were covered in a shadow, like somebody spilled black paint all over it. Even the sunlight was blocked. The shadow was stretched all over, moving in front of his feet. 

Seline had the right idea not to come. This would just scare her more.

“Matthew? I’m coming in,” he announced, stepping gingerly inside. The shadow wiggled restlessly, but didn’t fight him on contact. Isaiah followed the the trail as it thickened towards the bathroom.

Matthew was curled up on his knees inside, forehead pressed against the cold tiles, hands on his head as if he was trying to block a terrible noise. 

“Oh, Matt,” Isaiah sighed, going to his knees beside him. “Can you hear me, bud? Hey.”

Matthew made a sound at the back of his throat. “Zaya?” His voice was strained and raspy, on the verge of crying. 

“Yeah, I’m right here. Come on, buddy, pull your shadow down.”

“I can’t.” Matthew’s hands tigheted into fists beside him, head turning enough to give Isaiah a side-way glance. “I c-can’t control it all. Zaya, please. Roll it down for me.”

Isaiah winced. Rolling down someone’s shadow was a terribly painful thing for said wolf. Even if the shadow was a manifestation of dark instincts, cutting a wolf off from his natural power, leaving them helpless and unable to heal with their shadow paralyzed from the ordeal for the next few hours…and wolves capable of such a thing were very rare, since it required both innate aptitude for precise control and lots of skill. Not to mention the knowledge was strictly guarded, for it was an ability for pack leaders who usually only passed it over to their children or successors. 

Isaiah had been forced to roll down shadows before, when stopping an escalating clash in a public space or helping a young inexperienced wolf to hold down their agitated shadow. He had done it for Matthew once before, when the other wolf couldn’t make himself calm down in a very dangerous meeting with overwhelming numbers. 

But he hated doing it. It wasn’t right, any part of it. And if Matthew came to rely on it too much, temper or not, he would never have the confidence needed to control himself. 

“Matt, you can do it on your own,” Isaiah whispered. “I’ll help you, but you have to do it.” 

Matthew took a shuddering breath as if he was trying to lift weight off his back, then clenched his teeth. “I can’t.”

“None of that.” Isaiah’s voice grew louder and commanding. The black haired wolf gripped Matthew’s shoulder, trying to offer an anchorpoint, something to ground him. “You are alright. You are not your shadow. You are in control. You win this. It has no place here, when you command it. You hear?” 

Matthew let out a quiet sob, eyes squeezing shut. Something was moving though, cause the shadow tentacles over the place started to pull back together, concentrating in a whirlpool like shape around them. 

“That’s it. Very well done. Just a little bit more. Don’t let it breathe. Don’t let it think it can win.” 

Matthew nodded, whole body tensing. The rest of the giant mass pulled back into what looked almost like a regular looking human shaped shadow, if a bit too black for the small light of the bathroom. 

Isaiah watched it carefully. “That’s it! Excellent work-”

He was interrupted by a loud gag as Matthew heaved over the floor, once, twice and then a giant pool of barely digested food splashed against the tiles. 

Isaiah grimaced, gripping his shoulder harder so Matthew wouldn’t crash head first into the mess. “Okay. Take deep breaths.”

Matthew heaved again, whole body shuddering as more puke joined the mess. “Sorry-”

“Shut up. It’s fine. Everything is fine now.” He rubbed Matthew’s back. It was sticky with sweat and he could feel every laborious breath the red haired wolf took, fighting against the nausea. 

Matthew gagged and coughed, then made a move to stand, only for his feet to buckle underneath him. He collapsed against Isaiah, who grunted, catching him. Matthew’s energy seemed to have been sapped completely, for he didn’t try to get up again, sprawling over Isaiah’s lap like a rag doll. 

Isaiah let them both just breathe for a minute, though the smell of vomit was intense. Matthew’s head was over Isaiah’s stomach who had his legs folded underneath him, leaning against the wall to support their combined weight. 

“She hates me now, doesn’t she.”

Isaiah looked down at Matthew in surprise. “Of course not.”

“I smelled the fear on her. On the kid too, but…that was worse. For a second I-”

“It’s your shadow. It reacts too strongly, especially when you are surprised by a foreign wolf.” 

“I wouldn’t have hurt her, Isaiah. I swear I wouldn’t.” Matthew’s voice was hoarse from emotion.

Isaiah’s hands slipped around him from behind, gently wrapping him closer against him. Matthew didn’t protest, melting in his arms. 

Isaiah’s shirt was still wet from Seline’s tears. 

“It’s the pack thing,” Isaiah said finally. “We have been really close since we started living together. Your shadow craves it. So it feels threatened easily. Like someone is trying to take her away.”

“I should be able to take a visit from another fucking wolf.” 

“It’s not like you have much experience with…friendly interactions.” 

“Oh yeah? What do you think this is?” Matthew asked, his tone getting more ironic and like him again. 

Isaiah chuckled. He was getting the impression lots of things would get a lot easier if they just did become a pack. Just like Reuben said. Their shadows would stabilize, their tempers calm, the insistent threatening incomplete feeling would go away. And thing like this wouldn’t be weird. Not like it felt off now.

And Isaiah realized how badly he really wanted it. For all three of them to be a pack, to be able to worry, touch, protect and comfort each other with a prerogative right to do so.

"We are going to figure this out, Matt. One problem or two aren't going to destroy everything."

@bellysoupset

[podcast-official]

Old Partner In Crime, Chapter 3: It Might Take A While Until I Trust You Won't Attack

Author's note: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

Peter awoke to the sound of someone in the kitchen. He smelled coffee and heard the distinctive noises of someone making breakfast. He walked out into the living room and saw Juno in the kitchen, and he could almost imagine that last night and the months before it had all been one very bad dream.

Except his arms stung and his eyes ached from crying and his chest still felt hollow. Juno looked up and gave him a soft smile. "Hey, babe," Juno said.

Peter blinked. "You're back."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm back. I thought I could make us some breakfast and we could have a talk."

"Fine," Peter said, with a strained little smile. He felt a rising sense of panic at the words have a talk. Soon enough, they were seated across from each other, Peter with a bowl of fruit Juno had cut up and Juno with some eggs. They both had coffee.

"Okay, so," Juno started.

"Are you going to ask for a divorce?" Peter burst out.

Juno stared at him. Then burst out laughing. "Oh my God, Nureyev, sweetheart, absolutely not. Hell, I would sooner cut myself in half than divorce you, no matter how rocky things get, okay? I love you so much and that's not what I was going to say."

"I love you too," Peter murmured.

"Last night, when I was at Rita's, I called Alessandra."

"Detective Strong? Why?"

"Um. Honestly? Because she's married and I didn't want to talk to Buddy, who's the only other sensible married person I know."

"Ah."

"Anyways, I'm sure you've noticed that things have been off with us lately. And then... last night happened. Which I am so sorry for, by the way, it wasn't your fault, I just... I had a hard day and I took it out on you and that was unfair."

"I forgive you," Peter said quietly.

"Do you?" Juno gave a wry smile. "Or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?"

Peter hesitated. "I want to forgive you."

"That's better. Anyways, my conversation with Alessandra." Juno explained what Alessandra had told him. "So," he finished. "She thinks we should try marriage counseling. She said it really helped her and her wife and they make it a point to do something fun together after, like get dinner or whatever."

Juno reached across the table and rested his hand on Peter's.

"Peter Nureyev, I love you. Hell, I married you, I wouldn't do that if I wasn't in it for the long haul. We've had a rough few months and that's okay. We'll get through it, alright, baby?"

Peter nodded. He felt... relieved. "I love you too."

Juno gave him a little smile. "Now, I think we should get everything out in the open. At least, I know I've been self destructing a bit and I didn't tell you. So... I've been drinking. Like, problematically. Not just a normal amount. And I've been taking cases that I know I'll obsess over and get upset about on purpose. Alessandra's right. I feel anxious when things are quiet. My whole life has been one long adrenaline rush. I mean, living with Mom and trying to keep Ben safe and then the whole HCPD thing and then Ben dying and- well, you know the whole story. I feel like I've been running for a really long time and now I can't stop, even though I'm exhausted and I want nothing more than to just collapse into your arms and let myself rest."

Peter took a deep breath. "Last night, when you didn't come home, I... I panicked. I know I'm not good enough for you and it's not that I don't trust you to stay, it's just that I wouldn't blame you if you didn't because you deserve so much better than me, Juno, and then I started to worry that something happened to you-"

Juno cut him off gently. "Baby, listen to me. I don't want better than you. I want you. And I'm so sorry I made you worry. I'm okay. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere." Juno gave a soft little smile. "Pinky promise." He held out his little finger. Peter linked them together.

"You're an idiot, Juno Steel," he said fondly.

"I'm your idiot."

"That you are."

"Anything else you need to get off your chest?"

Peter hesitated. "After we fought, I... I hurt myself."

"Oh, Nureyev," Juno said, voice and face full of soft heartbreak. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You were all alone and I wasn't there for you. I was so selfish, I-"

"You needed space. I understand."

"Can you forgive me for that?"

"There's nothing to forgive, dear."

"Are you saying that because you actually feel that way, or are you saying that because you think you don't have the right to be hurt and angry? Because you do. Have the right, I mean."

Peter was silent for a moment. He let the hurt and anger and misery from the night before fill him. He sat with it for a second. "I was angry. I was hurt. And I was sad, and scared, and vulnerable. But I forgive you, Juno. I don't know if I'm ready to forgive what you said when we were fighting just yet, but I- I  do forgive you for leaving." The way Peter said it made it clear that he didn't just mean last night.

"Thank you. Now... are you okay? Physically, I mean. Nothing I need to take you to the ER for?"

Peter shook his head. "I'm fine, love. I promise."

"So... What now? Do you want to be alone, or-?"

"No," Peter said, almost desperately.

"Well then, do you want to hang out today? I know we're both exhausted. We could nap, watch something, go for a walk. Whatever."

"A nap sounds lovely, if you're amenable to the idea."

"I'm always ready to take a nap with you."

A little while later, the two of them were curled up under a weighted blanket, warm and cozy. "Can I touch you?" Juno asked.

"Yes. Please."

Juno wrapped his arms around Peter, tucking him up under his chin. Peter knew it gave Juno a sense of satisfaction to hold him like that, since he was shorter than Peter and couldn't rest his chin on Peter's head under normal circumstances. Juno kissed Peter's forehead, then his temple, right where Peter's dark hair was shot through with silver. Peter hated the streaks of silver. Juno told him it was beautiful.

"There we go," Juno said softly, as Peter settled into his arms, relaxing a bit. "Comfy?"

"Mm. Extremely so."

"Good. We'll have plenty of time for hard conversations later."

"Agreed."

Juno let himself relax then, wrapped up in the knowledge that the love of his life was in his arms, safe and warm.

"Do you think you can fall in love with me again?" Peter asked nervously. He knew Juno didn't feel the way he had before, knew that Juno didn't see him the same-

"Should be pretty easy, Nureyev, since I do it every time I look at you."

Peter's heart skipped a beat. "Oh," was all he said.

"Now, stop overthinking and go to sleep. I love you, okay? Come hell or high water, nothing's changing that. Dammit, babe, I chased you across the galaxy for months even after you framed me for theft and did everything you could to get me to buzz off."

"Well, my dear detective, you are nothing if not stubborn."

"Damn right."

"I love you too, by the way."

"Mmm. I'm glad."

The two of them nestled into the cocoon of warmth and coziness the weighted blankets provided. All either of them wanted to do was burrow into their nest of blankets and hide from the world. So that's what they did.

And for the first time in months, things really were better after some rest.