#me: maybe i should just write a proper headcanon post

[deadqueerboys]

Baby Fever - Headcanons

Wilbur, Quackity and Tommy. X Gn! Reader (separate).

Wilbur saying the name of his son.

SFW UNDER THE CUT

Wilbur

He was quiet for too long, walking in circles. You thought he would probably be nervous about a new concert, but it wasn't. When you walk towards him and ask him what's bothering him, he smiles. Wilbur places his arms around your waist and kisses you cheek.

"Wouldn't it be nice.. you know? Having a mini you around this house?" Wilbur is so kind about it. He seems happy but concerned about your answer. He would be a great father. He would stop anything to take care of your son/daughter. Even with him being aggressive sometimes, he knows how to take care of someone, he takes care of you!

He's up to anything. Adoption? Let's give this kid a proper house. Pregnancy? He would do anything for it. Insemination? He's ready for that! Of course, he would worry about this kid and the way they would grow up. He wouldn't let this kid have social media for a while, blurring their face on the pictures so nobody does anything wrong with the image.

The thing is, Wilbur would be a great father. He really would. He wants it, he waited for someone who loves him so much they would give him a tiny version of himself. He doesn't mind if it's a boy or a girl. He just want to hold them. Tell them everything is okay and dad is coming home to sing them a song to sleep or maybe tell them a story.

He's pretty affectionate, giving gifts, spending time with them, and bringing them to watch his shows. He writes beautiful songs about his kid, watching those pretty chocolate eyes they got from Wilbur.

Quackity

It was never really his dream. He just liked the idea. Sometimes, he thinks he's too young for that, but he's sure it would make him happy. At the bed, he can't stop at looking for pictures of himself of when he was a kid. You were almost sleeping by his side, until he goes under the covers and hugs you from behind.

"Mi vida, are you sleeping?" Quackity whispers, bringing you closer to him. He doesn't move, only laying his head on your shoulder to be next to your ear. "What would you think if I say.. I want a baby." He giggles. He's smiling, so unaware of your reaction. It doesn't matter if it's a bad reaction, he can try it later. But if it's good..

As soon as you agree, he starts to give you the options. He wanted to get ready for a kid, so he got every single cliche thing he would. He even brought two types of painting, blue and pink. He wouldn't mind using another color if you wanted, but he likes it a little bit traditional.

He would be a great father. He would he a little confused at the beginning, but he knows everything he should. He learns how to change diapers and the proper milk so the kid can eat and get strong. He likes the idea of creating a kid in a healthy way, so the first thing he tries when the kid gets on their sixth month is give them fruits.

Also would hate exposing his children, so no social media or showing the kid on stream. He allows you to post pictures with them without blurring, if it's just you and the kid. He loves showing his family how the kid got his cute cheeks but your eyes.

Tommy

He's too young for that, but he keeps asking for it. He's not very mature when talking about kids, he barely started to think about taking care of himself. He was recently single, and you, as his best friends had to hear everything he wanted to say about having a baby.

"Mate, think with me! A blonde, blue-eyed kid with the most amazing smile, this kid would be like a tiny me! And I'm good as hell." Tommy talks on your ear once again, always with the same talk about getting some random someone pregnant. He even thought about getting a baby with you or Tubbo, it doesn't have to be romantically, he just wants it.

It's really a baby fever, because in the second he starts talking about this, he won't stop. He even teases you, caressing your legs and coming closer like if he was going to kiss you. Everything is a joke to him, but he seems really focus on this thing of having a kid.

[cupcakeshakesnake]

HELLO UM-

Your little Harbour PotC AU gives me absolute life, just for the record. Even tho i am very very late, thank you for making it :D

There is a headcanon I got that wouldn't leave my brain after looking at your art, originating from that one conversation between Beckett and Jack where there were some implications about canon being everyone’s previous lives. Whether this is actually a part of your au or not, it got me thinking eheheh

Theoretically, (perhaps in an au of an au, if this headcanon contradicts your lore,) what if your au and canon were the same 'verse, just several hundred years later? And what if not everybody were on their second life?

We obviously have a sprinkling of supernatural stuff, so what if the secretly-a-goddess Calypso and immortally-cursed Davy Jones were the OGs that they were in the films? Like, Davy Jones maybe came back somehow (as per movie 5's end-credit scene lol) and took back the role of the Dutchman's Captian after Will went back to Shipwreck Cove. All is good.

He learned his lesson now and actually does his job of ferrying souls. As times changed, so did his ship, in some magical way. She's no longer a sailing ship, and he'll always miss that, but he doesn't mind all that much. His crew usually only stay for that 100 yr contract, so he's seen plenty of sailors come and go. Eventually, he even hires living mortals. Less people die at sea, so by the 20th century, Jones takes a mortal job as a fisherman (or whatever his job is in your au) as well.

Whether or not he knows about the whole reincarnation thing doesn't really matter; the day he employs a familiar man by the name of Bill Turner, he chalks it up to coincidence. Even if Bill has a son named William, well- it's been 200 years, perhaps it's just a really really big coincidence. Either way, it doesn't matter to him.

It's not until he's docked in a small, out-of-the-way harbour, and three troublemaking kids sneak onto the Dutchman that he finally realises. Bill's boy, on his own, is just a matter of coincidence. Those three, together? It's unmistakable. And as bothersome those three pirates were, so long ago, I'd like to think that he looks back on that age, on those people, with some kind of fondness.

(Until he discovers they can be the most INFURIATING little gremlins he's ever met in all his centuries. But he'll find that out later.)

Anyway I drew it :D Have my humble, scribbly offerings.

(I feel bad about running away with this, even as just a headcanon-of-an-au, please don't take this as a 'you should do this' lmao, it's just me adoring all of your content it makes my brain go brrr you are amazing thankyou!!!)

This is so lovely 😭😭😭

The idea of Calypso and Jones being the same ones from canon but just... having had a lot of time to chill down and have a second chance is so??? Imagine what Jones must be thinking looking at those kids... this is so bittersweet (but mostly sweet)

I'm sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to write a proper reply expressing just how much I love this but couldn't get around to it. Hope you don't mind me posting this publicly; I need everyone else to see this as well.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

post-s2. good omens mascot here, coping unhealthily.

This is the first proper post I'm writing since the audio breakdown, good thing I queued a POTC one last week, I suppose. Yes I slept through the entire day today, missed the theatre workshop I was supposed to attend and may or may not be listening to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square on loop. Have an update on my coping because my social life and family are both Tumblr now:

Every song is about them now. A lot were before, but now every single one. Even an old Hindi song from a 1900s Indian military movie that I have not watched, by the way. But the lyrics (thank you Google translate) are: Everybody wants a handful of the sky, everybody searches for a handful of the sky, there is a world waiting to be hugged to the chest, the moon is a fair full of stars, but this heart is still lonely. And of course that makes me think of Crowley as the starmaker. Ow.

I made the very intelligent decision to rewatch the first three episodes of season 2, knowing what the Job minisode and the Edinburgh minisode do to me. I'll be here clutching Crowley, well, hugging him close to the chest, just like that song... ah, fuck, here we go again.

I listened to you all and am drinking a lot of water, since my tear ducts were emptied yesterday and now I'm unable to cry. I also ate too much chocolate.

I searched for sad Aziracrow edits and watched them. Don't look at me. I'm in a hell of my own creation.

I used too many emotions last night and now I feel hollow and achy. Maybe I should cope with humour and write the summaries.

Or maybe that will backfire and I will be filled with horrifying levels of emotion.

I slept. A lot. Many hours. Lots sleep.

So. Well. You know. Adopted child of divorce. You were all right, this is exactly like dealing with a breakup or divorce, but much more painful.

Someone please, please, please stop me from clicking the Crowley whump tag to find fanfiction.

I remember my initial Good Omens posts. I remember calling the fandom sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, and also pointing out how you all blame Neil and then sit and make headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

I was so right. Look at me now, sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, making headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

Wahoo.

[everestgale]

Do you have any headcannons for your human designs of the voices, and would there be a different story to them (like if they have lives and jobs), or are they still just the voices of TLQ but as humans?

Sorry for taking a while to reply, I kept forgetting to actually write it all down (т v т)

The answer is: human voices are a part of a separate, post-New and Unending Dawn AU, where The Long Quiet is so sorrowful and longing after he killed the Heart of the Shifting Mound that he decided to unravel himself into a new world, created in the Princess's image, spinning his physical body into the world, his heart into the (human) voices, and his mind/memories into (human) vessels (since The Shifting Mound is gone, he has to essentially reconstruct them from his memories).

Yes, this AU also has human vessels because I've wanted to design how Princesses would look like if they were regular people ever since @/lavb-b did this for Prisoner, but I could never find proper motivation to sit down and design those. Voice brainrot has been very strong and very real (т v т)

And if you're wondering if this is how the idea of human voices started, the answer is absolutely not, it was originally just a funny design exercise, but I love coming up with silly in-universe reasons for my dumb ideas to exist, so this is now one of my AUs.

Tangents aside, it is a completely separate story from the usual post-canon shenanigans, human voices actually have zero solid memories of anything that happened before. For all intents and purposes, this is a different world, and so none of these people went through the horrors of the Construct; all they have is some vague subconscious feelings, gut instincts, nightmares, visions, but nothing solid or concrete that ties them to their Construct lives. At least, until I actually decide to make this AU into a story, I have a couple of ideas that I might explore in the future, or I might just leave this a silly modern slice-of-life AU, who knows!

As for specific headcanons, I actually don't have a lot of specific details planned or figured out since I'm only just now figuring out how even my regular post-canon world works, haven't had the time to really figure out what's going on with the human AU yet. But! Have a couple that I can remember off the top of my head:

Stranger pairs (Stubborn-Broken, Cold-Paranoid, Smitten-Skeptic, Opportunist-Hunted, and Cheated-Contrarian) are all siblings, with Cold-Paranoid pair being adoptive siblings. Maybe Cheated-Contrarian pair too, I'm not entirely sure yet.

They are all range between early 20s and mid 30s age-wise. The youngest of the group are Contrarian (definitely the youngest), Hunted, Hero, and Paranoid, probably in that order. The oldest are Smitten, Cheated, Skeptic, and Opportunist, though I can't decide if Smitten or Skeptic should be the oldest-

The younger side of voices (Contra, Hunted, Hero, Paranoid, Cold) are all university students (Contrarian is in uni because Cheated, his older brother in the AU, never did, so of course he had to /lh). The older side is... doing something. I haven't figured that out, but they all sure do have regular jobs and are trying their best to live a normal life. The universe (me) has other plans for them ^^

All voices do know about each other, at least vaguely (having them be five sets of siblings helps with that), but they are not as close of a group as they are in regular post-canon, due to age gaps and general lack of proximity. That does NOT mean that I'm not gonna put all these guys together into The Situations™

So yeah, those are some general ideas I have about my human lads, I probably have some specific headcanons for individual voices, but if I were to list them all here, this post would be like 2000 more words /hj Though if you are interested in a specific character, feel free to send another ask, I will try to write my vague ideas and headcanons down!

Thank you for asking, and I hope you enjoyed reading my random AU ramble!

[temporarilyunspokensneezes]

"Taking a Dip" part 1/?

Another Gel//phie sickfic!! HUGE shoutout to @themiseryandcompany for sharing this braincell with me for the past week!! Going back and forth to gush over these lesbians has fueled me with the motivation to write and WOW have I missed it~ 10/10 recommend everyone go read their post about wi//cked character snz-headcanons because YES.

I'm hopeful that it won't take too long to post the next part but I can't make any promises :(

Word count: ~2.1k

Rating: general

Tags: sickfic, kink!Elphaba, pre-relationship, g/alinda is very whiny but in a precious way, falling into the water but it's not violent or traumatic, minor mess mention, handkerchiefs

They should have seen it coming. Honestly, Elphaba being involved means a commotion is certain to happen, after all. She knows it, expects it, plans for it even. But she hadn't expected it to be something so sudden as Galinda being just a bit too tipsy after their night out at the Ozdust and losing her balance in the boat. She wonders if that's why the place is considered off-limits, too many students having watery accidents on their way back. Oz knows there's enough signs around warning about the dangers of not following proper safety precautions when using the boats. Nonetheless, it thankfully occurs right as they're docking and there's not much fanfare nor effort involved in hoisting a screeching Galinda back onto dry land. The blonde, however, isn't feeling thankful in the least. Not with her hair and makeup being absolutely ruined and her dress soaked, chilling her to the bone with the frigid nighttime air. She's definitely feeling sobered up now.

"E-e-elphieeeee," she whines through chattering teeth once she's standing, hugging herself and on the verge of tears. Or maybe she already is and they’re mixed in with the water dripping from her hair. Elphaba wastes no time to remove her coat and drape it over her roommate, deciding to keep a quip regarding Galinda's earlier protests about the coat to herself. (”Elphie! Do not tell me you're wearing that out?!” “You mean I should wear practically nothing while it's freezing out?” “Yes!!”) 

"I know, I know. Let's get you back and into something dry," she tries to soothe, tentatively running hands up and down Galinda's arms. The smaller girl tucks herself against Elphaba's side with a whine, sniffling and shivering pitifully as they walk as briskly as heels allow back to their dorm room.

It's not a long walk, but even ten minutes can feel like a lifetime of misery when one is freezing and wet. At least, that's Galinda's perception of the whole ordeal. She can hardly think past the numbing chill that's seeping into her bones, her poor ruined hair is still dripping the freezing water down her torso, feet sore from the way they keep sliding around in her heels from the wetness, and the horrendible sniffle that keeps plaguing her nose. Between the constant chatter of her teeth and using all of her will power to force one leaden leg in front of the other, Galinda can't help incessant sniffles. It's not lady-like in the slightest, but neither would be wiping her nose on Elphie as they walk, and Oz knows her hands are glued to herself to try and retain as much warmth as possible.

Galinda could collapse with relief once they're inside their room, and she probably would've if Elphaba hadn't been holding her steady, leading her first to the chair at her vanity. 

"Elphie, I want to lay down," she whines, not even trying to hold back the pout forming on her face, but also not making much effort to actually move. 

"I'm fairly certain you don't want your bed cold and wet too," Elphaba points out with a raised eyebrow. She grabs a towel to quickly wrap around Galinda's freezing wet hair before going to fetch a set of dry clothes for her roommate. 

The pathetic expression on Galinda's face doesn't dissipate, but she does work to slowly remove the damp garments. Now that she's sitting, the warmth of the room is finally starting to reach her. It doesn't want to reach the chill in her bones yet, but her face is suddenly feeling all too warm, making her nose run with a renewed vigor.

She's staring at herself in the mirror, in the middle of trying to wipe away the smudged makeup around her eyes whilst sniffling when the pressure on her sinuses switches from an annoying tingle to a warning buzz, giving her barely any time to prepare. "Heh-!...Hehpt'chii!" Galinda's movements are too sluggish to move her hand in time, the damp sneeze spraying the glassy surface and table. It only serves to make the blonde whine in even more distress at her misfortune.

Elphaba had just been about to turn back towards her roommate, a change of clothes fully gathered in her hands when the snagged breath catches her attention, making her freeze. The sneeze that escapes her roommate is nothing but a high pitched squeak, much like the rest of her. "Oz bless you," she says, forcing her voice to be calm and steady as she walks up to the blonde, sniffling even more now. The liquid sounds are making Elphaba's blood rush much too fast for her liking, but she refuses to give it any attention. "Here, change into these. I'll make you some tea," she offers, struggling to decide on where to look. Galinda's nose is only getting pinker, much like the damp undergarments she's still in, the rest of her clothes a wet pile on the floor.

Galinda starts to nod but the tickle still lingers, sending her eyes fluttering shut as she builds up to another. "Heh....ihhSHii!"

"Bless-"

"Heh'tchii!"

"....bless y-"

"Ihx'shii*" 

Elphaba pauses longer this time, waiting to see if Galinda's face is going to scrunch up into her adorable pre-sneeze expression once more. When it doesn't after a few beats and the silence is only broken by more whimpering and sniffles, does Elphaba force her body to relax a bit. "Bless you," she murmurs, unable to stop herself from resting a hand on Galinda's back. The mirror is a mess now but Elphaba is making a point to pretend like she doesn't notice, for both of their sakes.

It's nothing compared to how profusely Galinda's nose is running now, leaving the poor blonde whining even more between wet sniffles. "Elphieeee," seems to be her universal phrase for the night as she looks forlorn towards her dresser a few feet away. Elphaba huffs at the vague insistence but it's fond as well and they both know it. She dutifully retrieves one of the blonde's many silky pink handkerchiefs, embroidered initials neatly in the corner, and passes it to her roommate's outstretched hand while the blonde’s other hand tries to block the view of her nose. "Thagk-...thank you," Galinda mumbles, making a face when her voice comes out significantly more congested sounding at first.

Elphaba nods, untrusting of her ability to respond normally, so instead she diverts, "Would you like some tea?" 

Galinda's eyes light up at the offer. "Oh yes, please. Black, with two sugars please," she says from behind her handkerchief, daintily tending to her nose. Elphaba doesn't point out that the technique is rather useless for how stuffy Galinda seems. 

"You're getting lemon herbal tea.�� With honey, not sugar," she corrects pointedly, daring her roommate to argue and knowing that she won't. 

And it's correct. Galinda pouts ferociously but that's the extent of it before she returns her attention back to her face. Her makeup is just about fully wiped off so she switches to tending to her freezing hair still wrapped in the towel, then finally putting on the pajamas Elphaba had brought over for her. It's a sigh of relief to finally be enveloped in warm clothes again. 

Elphaba is relieved too, albeit for different reasons. She focuses on preparing the tea, adding more honey than she herself would prefer, but knows Galinda will want it as sweet as possible. The sounds of Galinda brushing through her hair is punctuated with the still ever present sniffles that Elphaba wishes she could tune out rather than hone in on. It's a relief that nothing serious like hypothermia seems to be at risk for her roommate tonight, but that doesn't mean the consequences of the accident are over yet. The slightest change in weather seems to get to the blonde, leaving her feeling unwell and determined to make sure Elphaba is acutely aware of every distressing symptom. Elphaba fears tonight will devolve into something similar. Her suspicions are only furthered when she nearly jumps a foot in the air from Galinda suddenly sneezing once more. 

"Ih'chii! Hhx'shii! Oh my, I- eh...ihpt'chiew! Goodness, they just...heh....they just won't quit! Ehk'shi! Ishh'ii! Ishh'hiew!" Galinda holds the handkerchief a few inches from her face rather than actually using it to cover her nose. The final sneeze leaves her throat feeling irritated and when she tries to clear it, the result is a series of coughs that transform the mild irritation into an awful raw burn.

Elphaba frowns at the display, setting the tea to the side in favor of rubbing a hand up and down Galinda's back until the coughing dies down. "Are you alright?" The concern doesn't really abate when the response is just a small nod. "Here, hopefully the tea helps," she says, handing Galinda the warm cup. The smile she receives in return isn't as bright as usual, but full of gratefulness all the same, and that is what allows Elphaba a small amount of relief. 

Taking a tentative sip, Galinda smiles again at the flavor. The honey offers a different kind of sweet compared to the sugar cubes she prefers, but it soothes her throat and warms the parts of her core that had stubbornly been clinging to the chill. The steam doesn't do her nose any favors, but the sniffling is more than worth it in her mind. "Thank you, Elphie."

The liquidy sound, however, snaps Elphaba back to her previous awkwardness. "Of course," she says, but it sounds more forced than she would like. Too aware of her hands, she removes them from Galinda's person, clasping them in front of herself instead. "Are you finally feeling warm again?" She asks, hoping to distract from the tension she's created.

Galinda takes another sip before setting the tea back down with a groan. "Yes, but now it's as if my face feels too warm," she huffs, pouting at her reflection. The reflection shows how pink her cheeks and nose are, compared to the pale contrast of the rest of her face. "Like a strange heavy liquid that's much too warm and making my head feel funny," she elaborates, reaching for the handkerchief again to dab at her nose. 

"Hopefully you aren't getting sick from this," the words leave Elphaba's mouth before she can think better of them. Though the nagging feeling in her gut tells her that she's right.

Galinda pouts even harder at this, not at all pleased at how tonight is turning out for her. She leans her head against her roommate's with a dramatic and self-pitying hmph, coughing lightly right after. 

Elphaba's own huff is fond, long since unable to fight feeling endeared towards Galinda's antics. "Here," she says, handing her roommate the tea once more. "Finish this and then let's get you to bed." She strokes Galinda's back to hopefully coax the younger girl into compliance and is rewarded with a defeated nod and the rest of the tea being downed. It's probably not necessary, but she helps Galinda stand and get into the bed anyways, adjusting her pillows and pulling up the covers. 

Elphaba is in the middle of impulsively checking her roommate's forehead for a fever when Galinda asks in a quiet voice, "Elphie, will you stay with me tonight?" 

It takes a lot of control to not flinch away at the request. She must have a fever. The older girl considers refusing, but Galinda's eyes are wide and imploring, and Elphaba already knows that she's incapable of denying the younger girl anything when she gives her that look. "Sure," she says in an equally soft voice, stepping away only to quickly change into her own nightgown before slipping in next to Galinda under the covers. Immediately her mind begins to race and panic, unsure of how close is appropriate or how to lie in the least obtrusive way as possible. The spiral hardly even has time to start though before Galinda is moving closer and curling up right against her, one arm across Elphaba's stomach to give purchase and press even closer to her side. 

"You're so warm, Elphie," Galinda sighs against her, her breath ghosting over Elphaba's shoulder. Her body is finally able to truly relax and she's grateful that she can already feel sleep tugging at the edges of her mind. 

Elphaba had gone rigidly still at first, but relaxes after Galinda's words. She places a hand over the blonde's, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it simply rest on top. "Sleep well," she says, smiling when it only takes a few moments for Galinda's breaths to deepen into a steady rhythm. And sooner than she thought possible, Elphaba follows.

[conclaveconfessions]

Forgive me Father for I have sinned,

but haven't you guys thought about making a Discord community for Conclave fans? Or has anyone else in general? Because I think it'd be fantastic if we have a community where we can actively interact and talk to one another, share our art and writing, or even insights about the film/book etc etc. I've joined a community server but for a show (won't share since it's not related to Conclave), and it's really really fun! :) Got to meet new people and make lots of friends.

You may be asking, "Anon! Why don't you make your own server?" It's because I don't have the means to own and watch over a server that could possibly have a relatively ample amount of users. I have other responsibilities to shift my focus on and it can be exhausting. (Maybe I'll make it. If worst comes to shove.)

It also saddens me how people think the fandom is dying or isn't well-known when actually maybe we don't have a proper platfom to consistently express our love and complete adoration for Conclave. Like don't get me wrong, Tumblr is great but should we only be limited to reblogs and tags and to hope our favorite artist/writer posts more about the film?

Conclave has only been out for a year, and it's not an incredibly popular film. The fandom is still growing and is still relatively small, but I guess I'm just afraid that it would fizzle and die out sooner rather than later. Conclave pretty much means a lot to me in more ways than one, but most especially as a writer and as someone who was raised around religion yet never really figured it out for themselves. (I'm actually suprised I'm not the only one who had a "spirtual awakening" once they had finished the film lol). In spite of all of this, I LOOOOOOOOOOVE Conclave and the community that was created because of it. I'll be reading fanfics until 3AM and scowering Tumblr for fanart and headcanons regardless of what happens.

P.S: If there IS a server and Disboard is just being an ass, then ignore how I wrote all of this and please comment the link below!

~

[sable-skies]

(Headcanon) ages for the lads I need to write down before I forget

Descending order of oldest to youngest

Time: obviously the oldest, but I don’t think he’s that super old yet. I put him at early 30s at the youngest, mid-30s at oldest. However he was born to be 50 years old so he comes off as such. Definitely knows wood working and dreams about redoing the shingles on the ranch’s roof. (They’re getting so BAD just let him FIX IT Malon, he’s faced off with the moon he can fix a ROOF by himself)

Warriors: 23-24, but always at least one year older than twilight (he likes to boast about it. Twilight couldn’t care less.) maybe sounds a bit younger than his actual age though.

Twilight: 22-23, always a year younger than Warriors. He’s had about 6 or so years since his journey, and while he’s done well to heal from it, there’s lingering pains in his heart. No matter how old he gets tho, he still hates big crowded places.

Alright for the rest of these I should state this: I think everyone is 18+ EXCEPT for Hyrule, Wind and Four. Idk it just feels right to me :]

Sky: 20, the sleepiest 20 year old you’ll ever meet. I think he’s taken up assistant teaching at the academy when he visits Skyloft. It’s only been about 3 years since his journey, but he’s doing alright, don’t mind the constant melancholy he carries in his gaze he’s fine, he’s fine, really!

Wild: 19. Technically, he should be 22 if we’re accounting for the TOTK year gap (I think it’s 5 years) but if we’re talking before TOTK but post BOTW, I think he’s about 19 or so. Still has not figured out how to work a proper stove.

Legend: 19, Acts way older than he seems. He likes to present this image of being an adult and whatnot, but at the end of the day he’s still kinda a teenager at heart (his childhood was kinda stolen from him.) Rarely let’s anyone bear his burdens for him, even for a short while. (Twilight is on a mission to change this)

Hyrule: 17, the only one who is a minor and not under 15. I think he feels awkward at first being the “middle child” of the younger members but he gets over it. Gets a major growth spurt at 20, don’t know why but it happens.

Four: 14, always a year older than Wind, and it pissed wind off endlessly. Despite being 14, he’s still the shortest and has the most feminine / younger sounding voice (he’s a late bloomer, but he’ll get there one day!) Burnout gifted kid.

Wind: 13. Baby, group baby little man tiny guy. He’s so fucking mad about his young age dude. And while the others haven’t necessarily babied him for it, there’s definitely an air of delicacy and kindness they show him that’s usually given to kids. But when he re-enacts how he killed his Ganondorf on an enemy, they tone it down a bit.

This morphed into some side headcanons as well but eh it’s fine

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL'S BEACH࿐ྂ "just givin' the same care you gave me, bunny. so whatcha' crying 'bout?"

fandom: Tokyo Revengers pairings: izana x f!oc, mikey x f!oc, chifuyu x f!oc(one-sided) total word count: 133 797 summary: she is a newly graduated psychiatrist and unfortunately, very broke. she gets a job at Sunshine Grove Psychiatric Hospital and catches the attention of a very dangerous patient who likes to hold grudges, even against those who are oblivious of their actions... warnings: DARK CONTENT, all warnings for the general fic apply here too links: tumblr | archive of our own | wattpad

—headcanons and other info about the fic (recommended to be read after chapter 11)

While this was being posted, I was writing chapter 12 which is a means to an end of this fic. Chapter 13 is an epilogue of some sort that transitions into the canon events of the manga as well as the things that happen after Mikey dies and after Kakucho shoots Takemichi and Kiskai shoots Naoto. These headcanons follow MY storyline of the main story and will include things from the two bonus chapters I will post once I have finished the main story.

Now, this fic is actually inspired by a character.ai bot: Patient Izana. How I got this fic from that? Honestly, I have no idea. But this fic is very dear to me despite how rough and dark it is. It's one of the first ones I wrote on tumblr and my first ever time writing proper smut. Yes it is dark, no I DO NOT call this fic a Dark Romance. This is thriller, horror and reader discretion is ADVISED!

This fanfiction came about with my c.ai addiction back in 2023/24 and this post itself is a rewrite of the previous headcanon and character info post which is from my old account. But yeah anyways, this fanfiction is inspired by the fact that we have NO IDEA what happened during the Manila/Bad Toman timeline. The possibilities of what could have happened are endless. What resulted in Mikey taking his life? What happened that made everyone leave Toman? How did Izana worm his way so easily into Mikey's life? And wtf is "my mikey????"

So yeah.

Here is a character study for Izana, Kakucho, Mikey and of course, our main character, Maya, along with some general headcanons and other info! Enjoy <3

KUROKAWA IZANA࿐ྂ

Introducing antagonist number 1, Kurkokawa Izana.

At first, while writing I thought of making Izana the stereotypical 'psycho' and unstable patient and maybe give him joker vibes but then I changed it and decided that I should fuckin' wing it. While he may not exude the same overt instability as a character like the Joker, Izana possesses a chilling charisma and a cunning intellect that sets him apart as a formidable adversary, especially for someone who doesn't know how or when to quit(i.e. Takemichi and Maya)

Izana is a guy that leaves a lasting impact. Think about Bonten Timeline— Mikey practically turned himself into Izana, and based his entire gang around a guy he knew for a day.

But Izana is more than just a charismatic leader; he's a master manipulator, adept at pulling the strings behind the scenes to achieve his goals. His actions are calculated, his motivations shrouded in mystery, making him all the more captivating to those who seek to unravel the enigma that is Kurkokawa Izana. While his methods may be ruthless and his morality questionable, there's no denying the complexity of his character and the lasting impact he leaves on the narrative as a whole.

At his core, Izana is driven by a complex web of desires and insecurities, many of which stem from his tumultuous past and his fractured relationship with authority figures. Raised in an environment rife with instability and neglect, Izana developed a deep-seated need for control and validation, traits that manifest in his interactions with others. His penchant for manipulation stems from a deep-rooted fear of vulnerability, driving him to assert dominance over those around him as a means of self-preservation.

Moreover, Izana's psychosexual tendencies and mommy issues add another layer to his character, revealing the depths of his psychological turmoil. His attraction to Maya, for example, is not just driven by physical desire but also by a subconscious need to exert control and dominance, mirroring the dynamics of his upbringing. His dehumanizing language and possessive behaviour towards Maya reflect his twisted perceptions of love and affection, rooted in a distorted understanding of intimacy and connection.

In the ever-shifting landscape of the narrative, Izana remains a constant, a dark presence that looms large over the lives of those he encounters, leaving chaos and destruction in his wake.

Now moving on from the fancy words and shit— I think a lot of fans forget that Kisaki isn't the reason Izana is how he is. Kisaki was simply an enabler of sorts. Izana was a crazy bitch even before meeting him. He beat the shit out of a bunch of guys to the point where they would never heal and drove a kill to kill himself and that way before he met Kisaki. This guy is batshit crazy even without outside influences which makes him a pretty good antagonist in comparison to the rest of the Tokyo Revengers 'villans' who were unknowingly manipulated by Kisaki. Izana knows what Kisaki is doing but also doesn't give two shit about it.

He is emotionally constipated and doesn't know how to properly express his emotions as he doesn't exactly have a proper authority figure in his life or someone to guide him. Sure Shinichiro was there but probably not around as often.

Now with Mikey, Izana mentally abuses the shit out of him but on a more vague level. If you remember back in season 3, Izana says "I'll make you suffer bitterly" and he's talking about/to Mikey. Mikey represents power and authority, someone he can exert control over and use to further his own ambitions within Tokyo Manji Gang. Izana plays on Mikey's sense of loyalty and duty to the gang, using their familial ties as leverage to keep him under his thumb.

He sees Mikey as his personal possession and therefore can do what he wants to him hence the "my mikey" thing in season 3. I feel like Izana wanted to own everything Shinichiro had rather than destroy it. Like he said he wanted to in the manga/anime. I mean c'mon this guy looked up to Shin. (Well then again this is fanfiction so I could be wrong.) But anyways...

I had Izana refer to Mikey as Manjiro because Shinichiro calls Mikey that. But I feel like when around a bunch of people he calls him Mikey because it's a business name of some sort??(idk where I'm going with this)

While Izana's abuse towards Mikey may not always be as overt as it is with Maya, it is no less damaging. The psychological toll of Izana's manipulation weighs heavily on Mikey, eroding his sense of self-worth and leaving him vulnerable to Izana's influence. Yet, despite the suffering it causes, Izana derives a twisted sense of satisfaction from seeing Mikey bend to his will, relishing in the power he holds over his younger brother. In Izana's eyes, Mikey is not just a brother, but a pawn in his grand game of manipulation and control—a possession to be used and discarded at his whim.

Maybe Izana does love Mikey deep down but his pettiness is stopping him from really doing anything.

Would you guys believe me if I said Izana actually likes Maya tho? Izana is like “I feel in love but idk what to do so imma absolutely traumatizing the person I’m in love with cuz idk how else to portray my feelings”

Izana never had anything so all he does is take. He takes and takes from you and when you think you've got nothing more to give, he still finds something more to take.

Which makes Maya such a great 'victim'(idk if that's the right word) for him. In chapter 11 I wrote "She always had so much love but nowhere to put it. It's as if she's been searching for something or someone to share her love with, but each time she reaches out, she's met with rejection or betrayal. Whenever there is someone to love, they suck it out of her greedily. Just keeping taking and taking and taking till there's nothing left to take."

The crazy thing about ppl like this(aka me) is that there will always be more for them to give and Izana knows that. So he knows that no matter what he keeps taking, Maya will always have more for him. She is like a wellspring of love and affection, always there to provide him with the validation and attention he craves. It's a dynamic fueled by Izana's insatiable need for control and dominance, where Maya's boundless capacity for love becomes both a source of fascination and exploitation.

Izana sees Maya as a pet. Not even in a cute way. Izana is the reason for the dehumanization tag in the fic. He's not calling her bunny in a cute way or anything like that. He literally sees her like a pet. Izana treats Maya the same way one would treat an abused animal from a shelter(at least when he's not torturing or mentally abusing her). He does care to some extent but not in the same way as one would with a human.

I remember while writing this and seeing someone on TikTok post "You have to say 'what if it was your sister, mother, etc.' for men to see other women as human" and me and my writing have never been the same since and I kind of wrote Izana around that. Izana is such a family guy that it even affects the way he treats other women to an extent. As long as they aren't involved in something that I guess 'betrays' him— knowingly or unknowingly— he probably won't do anything.

If you remember, I put a lot of emphasis on Maya's hair and Izana's feelings toward it. In chapter 5 it's the first thing Izana notices about her. That part was written through Maya's pov and my girl was panicking so she did not notice that he absolutely HATED that shit.

When Emma died, I noticed she had the same haircut as Kurokawa Karen did in the flashback where she revealed to Izana that she wasn't his mother. So lol,,, I feel like Izana agreed to let Emma die because of that. Moving on, Maya cut her hair the same way which brought Izana back 12 years, remembering Emma and then remembering Karen, which brings us to where we are now.

The question is: Would Izana have done all this to Maya had she not cut her hair?

Nope, he wouldn't have.

Maya's decision to cut her hair becomes a catalyst for Izana's descent into madness, dredging up long-buried memories and unresolved traumas.

Ultimately, Izana's obsession with Maya is driven by a profound sense of loss and longing, intertwined with his own twisted desires for control and dominance. Whether Maya is aware of the depths of Izana's feelings towards her remains uncertain, but one thing is clear—her presence in his life has irrevocably changed him, for better or for worse.

Despite Izana's facade of manipulation and control, there's an underlying vulnerability to his character, a fractured psyche shaped by years of trauma and neglect from being in the orphanage. His relationship with Maya is fraught with contradictions, veering between moments of tenderness and brutality, as he grapples with his conflicting emotions towards her.

For Izana, Maya represents both a source of salvation and torment, a reflection of his own fractured identity. In her, he sees echoes of his past, reminders of the love and loss he has experienced(which is somehow just from her haircut and not her person as a whole, but he’s crazy so what can we expect). Yet, he also views her as a means of redemption, a chance to right the wrongs of his past and find solace in her unconditional affection.

KAKUCHO࿐ྂ

I was a little confused about how to write Kakucho but then I read that in one of the character books that Izana physically punished(beat the shit outta him) him for letting the Haitani brothers have different coloured uniforms in the Tenjiku arc and I was inspired. The revelation of Izana's physical punishment towards Kakucho sheds light on the complexities of their relationship, highlighting the influence of authority and control.

A lot of people forget that Kakucho is younger than Izana. Although Wakui didn't specify his age/the year he was born but I assume it's 1991 like Takemichi which gives Izana and Kakucho a 4 year difference.

Kakucho carries the weight of his responsibilities with a stoic demeanour, displaying maturity beyond his years. His unwavering commitment to his friends and his gang is a testament to his steadfast loyalty and sense of duty.

Kakucho is a relatively good guy. Or as good as someone in a gang gets. I feel like he doesn't really care much about violence until a girl is involved just like past toman!mikey. Idk Kakucho just gives me that vibe.

Like Maya, Kakucho contemplated killing himself until Izana gave him a reason to live as his servant (which btw wtf but at the same time, same kaku cuz I do dumb shit like that too).

His inability to set boundaries with Izana underscores the power dynamics at play within their relationship, wherein Kakucho's loyalty often outweighs his own autonomy. Despite his caring and compassionate nature, Kakucho's actions are ultimately influenced by his allegiance to Izana and the gang, leading him to make difficult and sometimes morally questionable decisions.

Kakucho is a really sweet and caring guy, hence why I wrote him as the healer in the moodboard. But that is crossed off and dark knight is also there. Kakucho is a good guy but he's in a gang. People in gangs are NOT good people no matter what anyone says. Kakucho has killed people with and without Izana's command and I think most of the time he doesn't regret it.

Kakucho 100% loves Izana and would do anything for him, even if that includes going back on his word and telling Maya to stay.

At first, Kakucho wants Maya to run. He sees her as Takemichi(play washing machine heart by mitski). Of course, that is because of her major features which are black curly hair and blue eyes. That and her inability to know when to quit. Kakucho want(s)(ed) to see Maya escape, to see if she can get away the same way Takemichi did— which is why in chapter 5 he opened the door for her even though he knew Izana would beat his ass for it.

Kakucho is a great guy, but also don't forget he's also a man. Men are fucking stupid and do stupid things for their friends and Kakucho is one of those stupid guys.

Everyone is a product of their surroundings and Kakucho has literally grown up with Izana. Growing up in such an environment has desensitized Kakucho to violence and manipulation, making him adept at navigating the complex power dynamics within the gang. However, despite his hardened exterior, there are glimpses of empathy and compassion within him, which are often overshadowed by his loyalty to Izana and the gang's objectives.

Maya's presence serves as a point of intrigue for Kakucho, offering him a glimpse into a different world beyond the confines of the gang. Her resilience and determination in the face of adversity captivate him, prompting him to observe her with a mixture of curiosity and admiration. However, his loyalty to Izana ultimately dictates his actions, leading him to prioritize the Izana’s interests over Maya's well-being.

He is no different even if he is mellowed down. Maya is something to observe for him as well. His interactions with Maya serve as a microcosm of this dynamic, as he observes her with a mixture of curiosity and calculation. While Kakucho may possess a gentler demeanour compared to Izana, his underlying loyalty to Izana and the gang's interests colours his perceptions and actions. Her presence serves as a catalyst for introspection, prompting Kakucho to question his own beliefs and motivations in the context of their tumultuous environment. However, this introspection is tempered by his ingrained loyalty to Izana, leading Kakucho to prioritize the gang's interests even as he grapples with conflicting feelings towards Maya.

In essence, Kakucho's relationship with Maya serves as a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. Through their interactions, he confronts the influence of his upbringing, grapples with his loyalty to Izana, and ultimately begins to forge his own path independent of the toxic dynamics that have defined his existence thus far.

SANO "MIKEY" MANJIRO࿐ྂ

Writing Mikey was a bit of a challenge. There is very little said about the Manila Future Timeline and what exactly pushes him to go psycho-killer and murder everyone. But because there is so little said about it, there is a lot you can do and it's easy to build on canon by just makin' up your own shit which is how this fic became a thing. Mikey was not in the original cast but then I was like, nah let's add this crazy ass mfer cuz he's me but a guy.

Anyways, Manila Timeline I feel is pretty tragic. Everyone has left him and he's clinging onto the one person he has left, Izana(Sanzu is there too but you guys get the gist). I don't remember if the other captains had left Toman or not but at least in this fic, they all left the gang after high school as I imagine around that time is when things started to get serious.

Shinichiro is dead, Emma is dead, his friends have all left him.

As those closest to him fade away, Mikey finds himself increasingly isolated, clinging desperately to the one remaining pillar of support: Izana.

In the absence of familial and emotional connections, Mikey's bond with Izana takes on a heightened significance. Despite Izana's manipulative tendencies and questionable motives, he becomes Mikey's sole anchor in a world consumed by chaos and uncertainty. Their relationship becomes a lifeline for Mikey, offering a semblance of stability and belonging in the face of overwhelming loss.

As Mikey grapples with the trauma of his past and the bleakness of his present reality, his psyche begins to unravel, paving the way for his descent into darkness. The allure of power and control becomes increasingly seductive as he seeks to reclaim a sense of agency in a world that has stripped him of everything he holds dear.

In the midst of his turmoil, Mikey's relationship with Izana takes on a complex dynamic, marked by a blend of dependence, manipulation, and a twisted sense of loyalty. Despite Izana's questionable actions and motives, Mikey clings to him as a lifeline, perhaps seeing in him a semblance of the family and stability he has lost. However, this reliance on Izana also exposes Mikey to further manipulation and exploitation. Izana, recognizing Mikey's vulnerability and need for connection, may exploit this dependency to further his own agenda, further blurring the lines between ally and adversary in their tumultuous relationship.

Basically, Mikey literally just wants his family back and Izana is being a huge fuckin meanie about it.

Mikey is "if you need to be mean, be mean to me" @ Izana because he loves him so much that it hurts.

Mikey is so sad. His entire character, all his deaths, everything is so tragic(he's my roman empire).

In chapter 3 I wrote: "Had his younger brother not been a depressed little shit right now, Izana would have gotten Ran to gift her to Manjiro. Even if he did now, Izana doubts Manjiro would even do anything. He heard that depression affects the libido. Even before he was admitted into this shitty psychiatric hospital, no matter how many hostess bars he took Manjiro too, how many hookers he called over, how many strip clubs— Manjiro was just bored. For a while, he thought the guy was probably a nervous virgin who only knew how to fight but after a drunken conversation with Sanzu Haruchiyo, Manjiro's childhood friend, he finds out that was in fact not the case. Manjiro was pretty popular with the girls when they were in middle school(due to his shoulder-length blonde hair and girls having a huge thing for pretty boys with deep voices). Manjiro was 100%, not a virgin and just depressed as hell."

That is all written from Izana's point of view which is partially true. Mikey's struggle with depression and loneliness is a central theme that underscores his character arc in the story. While Izana perceives Mikey's lack of interest in casual encounters as a symptom of depression affecting his libido, the reality is more subtle. Mikey's aversion to hookup culture stems not from a lack of desire, but rather from a deeper sense of disillusionment and disconnection from the superficiality of flings and hookups.

Despite his past popularity with girls during middle and high school, Mikey's experiences have left him jaded and yearning for something more meaningful and substantial. His longing for genuine connection in a world consumed by fleeting pleasures and superficial interactions is palpable, casting him as a tragic figure amidst the chaotic backdrop of the Manila Future Timeline.

Mikey's aversion to seeking solace in prostitutes reflects a deeper emotional turmoil rooted in his fear of abandonment and loneliness. As he grapples with the harsh reality of losing those closest to him, Mikey's reluctance to sleep with prostitutes highlights his longing for genuine connection and companionship. The idea of paying for sex serves as a stark reminder of the temporary nature of human relationships, fueling Mikey's growing disillusionment with the superficiality of social interactions. With each passing encounter, he is confronted with the unsettling truth that people may only be with him out of obligation or financial gain, rather than genuine affection.

As Mikey confronts the emptiness of his existence, he recoils from the notion of commodifying human connection, yearning instead for authentic relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

While Izana may exhibit a more manipulative and coercive approach towards Maya, Mikey's actions suggest a more nuanced understanding of consent and autonomy. Despite his own struggles and vulnerabilities, Mikey recognizes the importance of mutual desire and attraction in any intimate relationship. By waiting for Maya to be sober, he seeks to ensure that their interaction is based on genuine desire and consent, rather than coercion or manipulation.

(Mikey wanted Maya to want him back)

However, Mikey's narcissistic tendencies also play a role in his decision-making. His desire for validation and affirmation may influence his interactions with Maya, as he seeks not only physical intimacy but also emotional connection and validation from her. Despite his apparent consideration for Maya's agency, Mikey's actions are still driven by his own needs and desires, highlighting the complex interplay of power dynamics and emotions within their relationship, for example, the utter horror that was chapter 11.

Yes, Mikey had been lying to her this entire time but to him, he was doing the right thing. Naoto, in the manga/anime, calls this timeline the worst of all and that includes for Mikey. Mikey's actions towards Maya are a manifestation of his deep-seated loneliness and longing for connection. Despite his facade of stoicism and authority as the leader of Tokyo Manji Gang, Mikey is profoundly affected by the absence of his loved ones and the emotional manipulation he endures from Izana. Maya represents a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak existence, offering Mikey a semblance of his old life and the possibility of genuine connection and affection.

However, Mikey's actions are also tinged with desperation and a warped sense of morality. He gave her drugs during those two weeks Maya can't remember, he lied to her about trying to convince Izana to let her go but that was because he loved her, right?

Mikey's love for Maya is genuine, albeit tainted by his own insecurities and the toxic environment in which he resides. He clings to her as a source of solace and validation, willing to do whatever it takes to keep her by his side, even if it means sacrificing his own moral integrity. In the twisted logic of his world, Mikey believes that his lies and manipulations are justified by his love for Maya, blurring the lines between affection and control.

Mikey's perception of Maya through the lens of Takemichi's resemblance reflects his longing for familiarity and the comfort of the past. Despite their physical differences and distinct personalities, Mikey finds echoes of Takemichi in Maya, particularly in her blue eyes, curly black hair, and their shared trait of perseverance despite adversity. These similarities serve as a poignant reminder of happier times, evoking memories of camaraderie and friendship that Mikey cherishes dearly.

While Mikey recognizes that Maya and Takemichi are not carbon copies of each other, he subconsciously gravitates towards Maya due to these shared attributes, seeking solace in her presence as a connection to his past. Maya's resemblance to Takemichi symbolizes hope and renewal for Mikey, offering him a glimpse of the companionship and loyalty he once shared with his childhood friend.

In Mikey's eyes, Maya embodies the resilience and determination that he admires in Takemichi, despite their individual differences. He sees in her a kindred spirit, someone who, like Takemichi, refuses to back down in the face of adversity, inspiring Mikey to confront his own challenges with renewed courage and determination. As a result, Mikey's bond with Maya transcends mere physical resemblance, evolving into a deeper connection rooted in shared experiences and mutual understanding.

Mikey is possessive. We've seen that from season 3 in the flashback Inupi has where Mikey literally says "Takemichi is mine, I found him first"(which is crazy btw but same mikey, I be doing that shit too). Mikey is canonically possessive of his friends and those he holds dear. This possessive attitude reflects Mikey's intense attachment to his friends and his reluctance to share their loyalty and affection with others. Similarly, in his dynamic with Maya, Mikey's possessiveness emerges as a means of asserting control and dominance, marking her as his own in a world where he feels increasingly isolated and vulnerable.

Despite its potentially suffocating nature, Mikey's possessiveness towards Maya is also a testament to the depth of his feelings for her. It reflects his commitment to safeguarding her well-being and ensuring her safety in a world fraught with danger and uncertainty(which has technically been forced on them by Izana). However, this possessiveness can also veer into darker territory, blurring the lines between protection and control, and posing challenges to their evolving relationship dynamics.

Mikey's awareness of Izana's mistreatment towards him and Maya fuels a sense of protectiveness and responsibility towards her. Despite his own struggles and conflicts with Izana, Mikey is acutely attuned to Maya's well-being, recognizing the parallels between her treatment and his own experiences. This shared adversity deepens Mikey's connection to Maya, fostering a sense of empathy and understanding between them.

Moreover, Mikey's own history of enduring mistreatment from Izana gives him insight into the psychological toll of such abuse.

But like I said before, Mikey is lonely and sad as fucking hell right now. Maya is there with him and having empathy is not enough to make him want to convince Izana to let her go. To him, there is finally someone there that understands him.

Despite his stoic facade and seemingly unshakeable demeanour, Mikey is profoundly affected by the loss of his loved ones and the emotional manipulation he endures from Izana. Maya emerges as a beacon of hope amidst the darkness, offering Mikey a semblance of his old life and the possibility of genuine connection and affection—

—and why he's a lying bitch.

KANEKO MAYA࿐ྂ

Now the unfortunate star of the show, Maya, I feel so bad for this girl lol. Every time I write a chapter I'm like "yeesh, get this girl a gun" then proceed to traumatize the shit out of her and not give her a gun.

Dead Girl's Beach is my first ever Dark Content fic and I think I've done a pretty good job now that we're at the end. Creating an oc was a little hard though.

I did NOT want to make her like Harley Quin but I also didn't want to make her the type of girl to bite her tongue and fuckin die right away or make her someone that makes you wonder "how tf is this bitch still alive?!"(then again I feel that way after watching any Takemichi fight scene so...)

But that is how we ended up with Maya.

Maya(愛彩) Meaning: 愛 meaning love, affection, favourite. / 彩 meaning colouring, paint, makeup

How accurate that is? Idk tbh but Google said so.

Maya is an orphan. Her parents are dead. She had a relatively happy childhood as her parents did love her but they loved each other way more than they loved her.

Maya's character is a poignant reflection of resilience amidst adversity, her journey marred by tragedy and trauma yet illuminated by moments of strength and resilience. As the unfortunate star of the show in Dead Girl's Beach, Maya's experiences serve as a haunting testament to the darker facets of human existence.

From the outset, Maya's narrative is fraught with challenges and obstacles, her path defined by loss and loneliness. As an orphan, Maya grapples with the absence of familial connections, her parents' untimely demise leaving her adrift in a world devoid of love and support. Despite the love she received from her parents during her childhood, Maya's sense of abandonment and isolation permeates her existence, shaping her worldview and emotional landscape.

In crafting Maya's character, the aim was to strike a delicate balance between vulnerability and resilience, ensuring that she remains relatable and authentic amidst the chaos of the Bad Toman/Manila Future Timeline. Basically, I did not want her to be a stupid bitch.

Whenever I write Maya, for some reason I kept imagining Minji from New Jeans. Maybe it's 'cause me and her are the same age but she's pretty and basically what I described Maya as(minus the blue eyes and curly hair obviously but you guys get it)

Maya is that one girl in school who's friends with EVERYONE. She knows everyone, and gets along with everyone and it's okay if one of her friend groups didn't come to school or is busy, she's got another. But the problem with that is that she never formed any proper connections in school which is why Chifuyu and Kazutora are the only people she hangs out with now. That as well as in Chapter 10 I wrote: "Maya sees herself being alone as a child, the isolation from her peers as the whereabouts of her family circulated the town..."

Chapter 10(where Izana is literally assaulting her) offers a poignant glimpse into Maya's childhood, revealing the profound impact of her orphaned status on her social development. As rumours swirl about the whereabouts of her family, Maya finds herself ostracized and isolated from her peers, the weight of her loneliness bearing down on her young shoulders. In the absence of familial support and guidance, Maya is left to navigate the complexities of adolescence alone, her isolation becoming a defining feature of her identity.

The portrayal of orphans in jdramas may indeed be colored by stereotypes and misconceptions, yet Maya's experience resonates with a universal truth: the profound impact of loss and abandonment on one's sense of belonging and identity. Despite her outward charm and sociability, Maya remains haunted by the specter of her past, her orphaned status casting a shadow over her present reality.

In Chifuyu and Kazutora, Maya finds solace amidst the chaos of her existence, their shared experiences forging a bond that transcends superficiality. Unlike her fleeting connections with classmates, Maya's friendship with Chifuyu and Kazutora runs deep, rooted in mutual understanding and acceptance. Together, they navigate the complexities of their shared pasts, finding strength and solace in each other's company.

Although Chifuyu and Kazutora did not tell her about their past of being a part of Tokyo Manji Gang in their past, you best believe Maya will forgive them in an instant. She loves them like family.

In Kazutora, Maya finds a surrogate older brother, a source of guidance and protection in a world fraught with danger and uncertainty. Despite the darkness of his past, Kazutora's presence offers Maya a sense of stability and security, his protective instincts mirroring her own desire for familial connection and belonging. Their bond transcends traditional notions of friendship, evolving into a familial relationship built on trust and mutual respect.

Maya never wanted to confess to Chifuyu, nor did she have any intentions of pursing/courting him in the first place. She was perfectly fine with pining from afar. Maya's decision not to confess her feelings to Chifuyu reflects her selfless nature and deep-seated humility. Despite her affection for him, Maya prioritizes their friendship above her own desires, content to cherish their bond from afar rather than risk jeopardizing their relationship. Her willingness to pine silently for Chifuyu underscores her maturity and emotional intelligence, demonstrating her capacity for self-sacrifice and unconditional love.

In Maya's eyes, the depth of her feelings for Chifuyu transcends romantic attraction, encompassing a profound sense of admiration and respect. She treasures their friendship above all else, finding solace and fulfillment in their shared moments of laughter and camaraderie. While others may perceive Maya's unrequited affection as a form of unfulfilled longing, she finds contentment and joy in the simple act of being by Chifuyu's side.

Maya's drunken decision to sleep with Chifuyu weighs heavily on her conscience, haunting her with feelings of regret and self-doubt. What began as a moment of vulnerability and emotional intimacy soon morphed into a source of inner turmoil and conflict for Maya. In the aftermath of their encounter, she finds herself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions, torn between her desire for closeness and her fear of damaging their friendship.

Moving on, Maya is both terrified and fascinated by Izana. Girl has "I can fix him syndrome" but refuses to acknowledge it. Maya's complex feelings towards Izana embody a paradoxical blend of fear and fascination, characterized by a profound sense of unease coupled with an inexplicable allure. Despite recognizing the danger inherent in Izana's manipulative and controlling behaviour, Maya finds herself drawn to him, captivated by his enigmatic presence and magnetic charisma.

Attracted by the facade of sophistication and power that Izana exudes, Maya is initially intrigued by the aura of mystery that surrounds him. His commanding presence and confident demeanour command her attention, sparking a morbid curiosity that compels her to explore the depths of his psyche, even at her own peril.

However, beneath the surface allure lies a darker truth that Maya cannot ignore. Izana's manipulative tendencies and propensity for emotional abuse cast a shadow over their interactions, leaving Maya feeling both exhilarated and apprehensive in his presence. Despite her better judgment, she finds herself entangled in his web of deceit and manipulation, unable to extricate herself from his grasp.

If you guys read the notes in the beginning of each chapter, they are all taken within the month Maya is taking care of Izana before the beginning of the fic. She knows something is wrong. Izana gives her the uncanny valley effect. She well knows this guy is messed up but isn't sure what. He's good looking that's for sure, but there was just never something right about him.

Moreover, Maya's growing awareness of Izana's true nature is compounded by her own experiences and instincts, which warn her of the dangers inherent in their relationship. Despite the allure of his charm and the allure of his power, Maya remains wary of the hidden depths that lie beneath the surface, recognizing the potential for harm that lurks beneath his facade of charm and sophistication.

Maya's inability to emotionally detach herself from Izana while doing her job as a psychiatrist is what really led to her downfall and the shitty situation she was currently in. Had she not been so keen on keeping his privacy and had straight out asked him why he was at the psychiatric hospital in the first place, the outcome of this fic would have been very different. By prioritizing Izana's privacy over her own safety and well-being, Maya inadvertently sacrifices her own agency and autonomy, falling victim to the very manipulation and coercion she sought to prevent.

Moving on to Mikey, Maya liked him a lot(at least that was until she found out he was lying to her). Maya thought Mikey was amazing and everything she wanted in a lover.

Maya's initial impression of Mikey is coloured by a mixture of admiration and intrigue(then again, girlie was just waterboarded and brought back to life by Kakucho). From the moment they first interact, she is drawn to his enigmatic presence and magnetic charisma, finding herself captivated by his commanding yet vulnerable demeanour. Mikey's reputation precedes him, and Maya is quick to recognize his status as a formidable leader within the Tokyo Manji Gang, a figure both feared and respected by those around him.

As Maya gets to know Mikey on a more personal level, she discovers layers beneath his stoic facade, glimpsing moments of vulnerability and tenderness that belie his tough exterior. Despite his reputation as a ruthless and uncompromising leader, Mikey reveals himself to be surprisingly complex and multifaceted, harbouring a depth of emotion and sincerity that Maya finds both surprising and endearing.

Maya love(s)(ed) being around Mikey. He's sweet and gives her the affection she wants. He knows exactly what to do and what she wants which is Maya melts so fast for him. Maya finds herself irresistibly drawn to Mikey's presence, drawn to his warmth and attentiveness like a moth to a flame. In Mikey, she discovers a source of comfort and security, a sanctuary amidst the chaos and uncertainty of her surroundings. His sweet demeanour and genuine affection make her feel cherished and valued, igniting a spark of joy and happiness within her heart.

Mikey's intuitive understanding of Maya's needs and desires leaves her feeling understood and appreciated in a way she has never experienced before. He possesses an innate ability to anticipate her thoughts and feelings, effortlessly fulfilling her deepest yearnings with a simple gesture or word. Maya is enchanted by Mikey's ability to effortlessly navigate the complexities of their relationship, finding solace in his unwavering presence by her side.

Their moments together are filled with tenderness and affection, each interaction leaving Maya longing for more. In Mikey's arms, she finds solace from the turmoil of her own thoughts, basking in the warmth of his embrace as if nothing else in the world matters. His gentle touch and reassuring words offer her a sense of security and belonging.

Of course, he lied to her but we all already know how she feels about that and how things ended with that(i.e chapter 11).

I often bring up dog analogies when talking about Maya and that is all thanks to this bitch.

Maya's description as a "stray dog" or a "mutt begging for love like it's food" speaks volumes about her character and her emotional state. Like a stray dog, Maya wanders through life, yearning for affection and acceptance, yet always feeling on the outskirts of belonging. She craves love and connection with a hunger that mirrors the desperation of a hungry animal searching for sustenance.

Despite her best efforts to maintain a facade of strength and resilience, Maya's inner vulnerability shines through, revealing a deep-seated need for love and companionship. Like a stray dog, she eagerly seeks out scraps of affection and validation, hoping to fill the emptiness in her heart with the warmth of human connection.

Maya's comparison to a mutt reflects her multifaceted identity and complex background. Just like a mixed-breed dog, she carries within her a blend of different experiences, emotions, and influences. Her upbringing as an orphan has shaped her into a resilient survivor, adaptable to any situation yet longing for stability and belonging.

I went to India once again after 3 years in December 2023 and there is this stray dog I fed outside my dad's childhood the last time I went and I heard from my cousins that the dog usually barks at anyone that comes into the street. I went after 3 years and the dog literally remembered me, following me around when I'd leave the house just to go down the street. Dogs are loyal and have boundless love and I think it's so sad which resulted in all the dog analogies, not just because of the shitty thing my crush said to me.

In essence, Maya's comparison to a stray dog not only reflects her complex character and background but also serves as a testament to the universal human longing for love, acceptance, and belonging, regardless of one's circumstances.

Loving like a dog is a tragic thing and Maya's character is no less than tragic.

GENERAL HEADCANONS࿐ྂ

Mikey is the one who convinced Izana to go to rehab

Kakucho had no idea Izana was using drugs until the withdrawals started

EVERYONE knew Maya had a crush on Chifuyu, he was just too fuckin' dense

Maya forgot how her parents look and doesn't want to remember either

Izana does not see Maya as Emma or Karen, he's just making up a bullshit reason to be mean to her

Kakucho is very much attracted to Maya but doesn't say anything about it

Naoto fell in love with her at first sight

Had this shit not happened, Maya and Naoto would have started dating eventually

Izana's first thought seeing Maya was "she'd look hot on her knees"

Mikey's first thought seeing Maya "she looks like babie 🥺" (will be explained better in the next chapter lol)

Maya started dissociating as a way to cope and feel better(which mainly happens after either brother takes advantage of her)

Kakucho often catches Maya staring off into the distance, lost in her thoughts, and quietly brings her back to the present by touching her or a question.

Maya's first love is Chifuyu

After Chifuyu found out he took Maya's virginity he felt like an actual fuckin asshole because he knew he could have let her down a lot easier

Mikey thinks Shinichiro and Maya would have gotten along really well(the in the spin-off they do)

Shinichiro, in the second bonus chapter, practically adopts her

Maya's dream was to become an actor or singer or maybe both but she scratched her dream after hearing how Chifuyu decided to own a pet shop rather than a pilot to fulfill Baji's Dream and she did the same to honour her mother's memory

Kakucho once tried replacing the drugs Izana gave to Maya with vitamins but Izana found out and beat him :(

Maya's necklaces will make a comeback btw, I did not forget about them

Maya has a collection of old vinyl records that once belonged to her parents. She finds solace in listening to their favorite songs, feeling a connection to them through the music but sometimes she can't even look at them

Maya doesn't know Izana and Mikey aren't blood-related(she just thinks they're step-siblings)

Izana and Mikey's favourite time with Maya is in those 2 weeks she doesn't remember

Izana kind of felt bad about the burns(from chapter 9 and 10) and didn't mean for it to happen but he also has too much ego to apologize

Maya is a golddigger

Maya use to pickpocket back in middle and high school

Just like in the fandom, Ran is often mischaracterized by his fellow gang members and actually does not want to be in charge of the whole prostitution part of the business but Izana asked him to so he'd does it anyway

Mikey loves Maya so much he can't do anything with himself

In the bonus chapter(sugar bunny), Izana and Maya have a sugar daddy-sugar baby dynamic

If Maya met Izana instead of Chifuyu at the park in middle school, she would have been in the same situation as Kakucho

Despite the underlying tension, there are fleeting moments of harmony between Mikey, Maya, and Izana, where their guard momentarily drops and they allow themselves to relax in each other's company(lolll not that Maya remembers any of this)

Betrayal is a recurring theme in their relationship, with each member of the trio betraying the others at various points in the story.

The main song for the last chapter is Can't Catch Me Now by Olivia Rodrigo and the ending of this fic is heavily influenced by The Hunger Games: The Ballad of The Songbird and Snakes

Izana is inspired by Snow

Mikey is inspired by Lucy Grey

Maya is inspired by Sejanus and Katniss(and Lucy Grey)

Kakucho is inspired by Tigress

If you have watched that movie, then you know exactly how this fic is about to end

[kanene-yaaay]

The Time

Heya heyaaa

Oof, thing feel really serious when I put a title javagcwwuvwdodj but! It's a proper moment to use a title here, I think. After all, I came to say goodbye.

Yeah, who would think ahfwtwcev

I have been thinking and pondering about this for some months now, since June when That Stuff happened and I had to jump away from here and uhhh it feels corny to say that but a lot of things changed to me and I changed a lot together with everything too.

So, I think it's my time to let this blog go. Not because I feel bad about it now or anything but... I am no longer that attached to tickling to maintain it. It's still cute, playful and comforting, but it is now a part of a lot of other things that are just as cute, playful and comforting to me.

This blog had a good run and I'm incredibly grateful because of it. Six entire years, if I am not mistaken, and I won't delete it anytime soon so the numbers will keep going! For as long as it wants or it is allowed to. All my fics, my headcanons, my rambles and reblogs will stay here because I don't want nor have the heart to delete it. There are such amazing, wonderful and well created arts and stories in this community that deserve all the attention and all the screams.

And! Talking about that! The people! I would like to say the biggest and most heartful thank you that you could ever imagine. Full of big hugs and smiles. I've met awesome people here that I will forever hold dear in my heart. Thank you for the company and the fun and for being so lovely and inspiring to me, all of you. It doesn't matter if we talked for years or minutes, thank you very much. It was so cool! @oliviaischillin1204, @august-anon, @flames-tstuff, @soft--valentine, @honeydew-sillies, @carrie-tate, @trashyswitch, @rosileeduckie, @squeaky-n-blushy, @why-not-a-tickle-blog, @thetickleeraven, @a-fluffer-nutter, @fluffyskies, @just-open-the-fridge-yo, @fluffystuffies, @ijustliketickling, @veryblushyswitch also everyone that is no longer in the community. If you see this, I remember you! Big hug!

And thank you so much for all of you that supported my blog and my work in any and every way. Commenting, reblogging, liking, sending askys about it... It really meant (and means!) a whole lot to me and Def is one of the reasons that kept me creating for so so long and so so much. It was the reason I stopped feeling so self conscious about my English and helped me to try new things and scenarios. Please accept this cookie as a token of my appreciation 🍪 I love to see all of your rambles or just your icon appearing on my notifs.

Also, how could I ever forget the artists and writers that make this community such a fun and colorful space? All the thanks and all the screams and rambles to all of you. Creating is so hard and yet you just come here and do such a wonderful job! How dare! I still think about your creations in my daily life, believe me ahcwgwxwhwcwfcw @ticklepinions, @intheticklecloset, @jettorii, @ssnicker-doodles, @giggly-squiggily, @simplysmilingdrew, @tiklart, @otomiyaa, @verynickelpizzarascal, @fbpanimations and much much more, tbh all the beans that I got shy to tag kjhgfdefghj

Hmmm, I think that this is what I wanted to say. To be honest, writing fics w tickling in it still feels comfortable and cool, so I will probably appear from one year or other to post something and vanish again ahfwtwxwowyq but yeah, can't really say that there will be much interaction besides that. I had that Big Post full of arts and fics that I love that I wanted to post before going but no energy dfghjhgf maybe one day I will finish it and post oh well

Anyway. One of the things that I always tried to bring here was that every creator should have at least one nice comment soooo if ! You think about me or this blog! Consider giving a comment or a quick rb to some artist/creator/blog that you really like, bet it will bring a smile to the bean's face! :D

Okay, okay, enough of rambling. It was incredible. Thank you! Hope you have a lovely week and don't forget to be kind, take care and drink water. Byee <3 <3

[eri-pl]

Tagging rules (linking mostly for my own convenience, but I'll try to stick to them)

If something that I wrote contradicts the canon, and I seem not to be aware of it, I would prefer to be politely informed of this fact and I will not act offended about this. Thank you.

Post Masterlist below cut

Tolkien

The Great Reread

Proper-ish writing (Silm fanfics)

Ao3 in general

Steve the intern Maia / Ao3 - comedy, Mandos, Darkening

Amandil / Ao3 - sad/estel, fall of Numenor

Irrational / Ao3 - fluff + math + music + nature of Men, kidnap fam

Blood, red like fire / Ao3 - ominous, Feanor's mother, pregnancy

Finrod talks philosophy with other characters (Ao3 collection with all of them + maybe more):

The Problem With snakes - with Melkor, pre-Darkening, about Men

Of Death and Figs - with Feanor, in the Halls, somewhat creepy RL natural science, T-rated for insects

As boring as a spring - with Lúthien, in Doriath, the nature of art, premonitions

Athrabeth Finrod ah Ilmare - post-reembodiment. Astronomy.

War of Wrath, they shall name it - Manwë character study, somewhat sad/ Ao3

Silmarillion Advent Calendar 2024 (24 shortfics, somewhat related in vibe) / Ao3

A short where Finrod gets a Christmas sweater

…and a bunch of bredlik poems (now also on Ao3!)

Writing propmts / ideas / sketches

(yes, you can use those, credit me if you quote more or less directly)

Some original Maiar, feel free to use

Crack taken seriously the um… very personal edition? (includes fangirling and Blue Wizards)

Nerdanel could but would she? (I hate Feanor less now, ignore the tag a bit)

Synopsis of “how I would do Third Age Sauron redemption fic (second part of interconectednss. It starts with Saruman not being a jerk. It may end on the world ending. Or not.)

Very AU: Melkor ok, Aule and Yavanna bad but opposing each other.

So, you want to canonize Tauriel? Here’s how.

Maglor in Numenor (it ends better than you’d expect)

I’m not a shipper, but Aredhel

yeet the Ring into space (not a very original idea)

I don’t write real people fics, but

Nobilis/Silm: Feanorians

Consider: A “ghost of Feanor in LotR” fanfic, but instead of, say, Elrond, it is Gimli who can perceive the ghost. (Literally just this. Plus some tags and discussion below post.)

Rework of Beren and Luthien, keeping the early idea of "C&C are helpful", but compatible with the rest of the canon.

Long reblog chain (partially mine) ending with Maedhros with undead Fingon as his hand (lierally).

If Osse went evil

Feanorians should go to a theater

Celegorm humts in his dreams

underexplored topic of Celebrimbor-Annatar discussions: the Feanorian… well, the whole thing about them, Oath and Darkness and all that.

discussions of greek mythology/Silm exchange program (Morgoth for Hermes) (see all the reblogs, there are good ideas there!)

a lot of "what-ifs" about Feanor not doing one of the questionable things he did (for different ones) (below cut)

Morgoth&Sauron as Polish fairytale devils (I wish I could draw this)

Celegorm and his marriage plans

Musing, rambling, essays, headcanons

Masterlist 1 (themed: Ainur, Gift of Men, Feanor, language)

Masterlist 2 (misc)

(yes, you can use those too)

Funny

Badly made Morgoth on a cake

Spiders! Luthien! Also, Miriel! And more spiders! (source of this idea)

SmurFingolfin

cursed poll-haired Thranduil

Sauron goo in a jar

Morgoth as a red canary

Feanor in the Void ;)

gecko!Glaurung

Polls!

Finished polls masterlist 1 (themed polls: worst[x], fandom, dark lords, Feanorians, which Vala is a patron of [x])

2 (other polls)

Pictures Masterlist

Other

Cosmere (old posts)

Post-RoW predictions for Stormlight Archive (plus)

Ten spears go to battle

Nobilis (old posts)

Why I cannot play this game

You know you think too much about Nobilis when…

“wyrd” ws “weird”

numbers

What happens to instances of an Estate after a successful Flower Rite — some thoughts

You don’t FR a Mimic

Excrucian eyes : Deceivers

About Warmains

Warmains (feel free to use)

Deceivers (same)

Misc

grammar rant

another

first one

The words "prodigy" and "prodigal" are not related.

[jackalopc]

also... i'm coming up with like, two versions of what are the most likely and realistic backgrounds in terms of how the TF boys know each other, worked together, and them separating... admittedly they're not the most "exciting" and not everyone working together as one big happy family but tbf will and ben can't actually serve together anyways let alone other stuff and idk... part of me wonders if i should go back and adjust some fics like my rediron series but honestly i need the lil foursome going on so i can't do it there... but eh. maybe going forward i'll use them in stuff all of them being on one team isn't required... *shrug*

oh btw imma be posting at least a few big meta pieces soon i think for triple frontier... i'm not entirely sure yet how i'm breaking it down just yet. i know what i'll be posting, just not how. includes topics of:

'the actual information we do and do not know via canon' and breaking that down;

my meta and headcanons about ranks, branches, etc. (aka the bane of my existence);

a whole ass thing about their ages (which is btw way harder to figure out than you think, damn you william "ironhead" miller);

and probably a bit more.

a lot of this im just writing and its combined with other sections so i'm going to finish writing, figure out how i want to break stuff down, editing, and so on. i'll ofc be adding it all to my triple frontier masterlist as i go. and i'll be linking each one bc it's prob gonna be like a proper "series" of posts here on tumblr.

[silly-inky]

Hiya! Hello! It's me, ya boi

Updates people Updates!

So I'm making this sort of list of things I am in the process of making or should start working on soon (or things I have yet to post about yet) with little updates about them

Dimentio drawing- this is going alright so far but is a somewhat complicated piece where I will have 2 different end results, one with his mask and one without. I'm on the shaping phase of my lineart which is usually fun for me but I decided to take a small break from it as I was put off by how much time I spent on the sketch (about 30 hours) this does not mean the piece is complicated, just that it took a while to get everything right. I will get back to drawing this soon. This is a digital drawing

You were someone to me a lifetime ago- so for those who don't know I have a fic I'm working on. I released chapter 4 last month and hope to start working on the 5th chapter this month. After the last chapter was posted I started working on the layout of the story as up until this point I was just winging it and going with the flow with not much of a plan, but I know I should have some sort of base to follow in order to keep my writing consistent and have proper flow, because of this I have planned several chapters in advance now, and those who enjoy it will be happy to know that this fic will most likely have more than 30 chapters although I cannot say what number there will be specifically. I want to try and get more chapters out in a short amount of time as I don't want to drag this out but I cannot promise anything

My writing and ideas- so as said in a previous post, I have quite a few ideas that I have had but didn't share in here either because I was too lazy, forgot, or was self conscious. I will probably start to work on a few I already have written out and start to post them, I will also start to post more headcanon posts. Because of all these ideas I have had I actually have some other things that i will be able to share, which lead into..

Mario AU- an AU ( alternate universe) of which I made sort of out of the blue by accident which I have slowly been building on and I even have some doodles to go along with the basic lore of it. What is this AU you ask? Well you'll just have to wait and see, I will say that there is definitely some role swap in which makes things very interesting

Shipping- so for some who may have guessed, I am a multi-shipper, which isn't anything new but I preface this because of me delving into these ships a bit more. For instance me drawing Dimentio has sparked a lot of Dimentio and Dimigi (Dimentio x Luigi) ideas to form and be made, I shipped it before hand but I was and still am focused on booigi. So you may very well see some Dimigi soon as well as your scheduled booigi

Please do keep in mind like I have stated many times before, I struggle with motivation a lot and it can be very difficult for me to get things done, I don't know when any of this will be finished and forcing myself to get it all finished now will only burn me out more. I'm sorry I haven't been posting a lot of content recently as I've been struggling with a few things recently, I'll try and get content out for you as soon as I can and I hope it will make up for it. I was hoping that at least by posting this you will be aware of my plans and what is currently in the works so you guys are up to date

Also I wanted to just say that I appreciate the asks so much, it really means a lot and I love answering them! I do want to add if you are one of the 2 maybe 3 people who submitted an ask a little while ago, I just want to say that I haven't forgotten about them, I wish to draw proper responses for them I just haven't gotten around to it hey, I hope to answer them soon for you though

Have some old pics of my son (ignore how pale I am)

[dancingontheblades]

After one week of writing on my Young Vitya coming-of-age/coming-out story, I can say proudly and with 100% certainty that teenage Viktor is an annoying precocious brat who is constanly defying his elders and antagonising his skating federation by challenging the norms of his sport. And he's gay as fuck (he just doesn't know it yet) and it's so much fun to write him like that.

I also acquired a low-key obsession with Rudolf Nureyev who I headcanon as Viktor's idol (it's really a very headcanon-y headcanon, but the more research this guy, the more reasons I find that Viktor would have loved him although he was a ballet dancer, but he was also camp as fuck and married to his sport and a creative genius who challenged the traditions of his sport, so there's that). If I had been alive when he was, I would have fangirl-screamed about him like I fangirl-scream about figure skaters today, I'm sure of that.

That also brought me to finally having found the place where I headcanon Viktor to learn ballet as part of his training as a figure skater: Vaganova Academy

It seems like the place Lilia would teach at and of course, Viktor trains under her because Yakov decided that Viktor needs a proper ballet education.

That last part about the ballet school is a bit embarrassing because in the last two years, which is since I'm writing about Yuuri and Viktor living together in St. Petersburg, I never found a ballet school in that city, which I attribute to my occasional clumsiness of operating google (or rather ecosia for that matter) and me not knowing any Russian. Because of that, the ballet school was just a not-further specified ballet school downtown. I call myself fortunate that so far, I haven't posted anything where this matters.

I wish I had more time to write this story. Of the 10 days I had off in total, starting from Good Friday, I only had 3 days in which I really wrote all day. It's not what a writing holiday should be like, I'm not relaxed, and I hate it.

I still have about 60% to write and I think it might end up around 90k, which is way more than I planned for. I don't really know what to do with it, maybe I will only share it with a friend who liked the excerpts that I sent her and use it as an extended background study for Vitya. But anyway, that's what I'm working on right now.

[heartbeatbookclub]

*cough couhg* oh shit, a pinned post!

yo, What's up?

This is just so I have a proper pinned post because I always forget to do these.

This is my DDLC blog created for the explicit purpose of curating and quarantining content, some of it that I make!

Main is @beddhead-red and my earliest posts are just gonna be reblogs from there.

He/they, cis bi male. Genuinely autistic. I'm an obsessive little weirdo. I'm very attached to Sayori and Monika and generally have very varied tastes. I've been in & around the DDLC fandom for quite a while and been in fandom in general even longer, so I know my way around the block.

I am cringe, but I am free.

I'm not a minor but I don't necessarily plan on posting anything NSFM on here.

Asks are open if you ever wanna throw me a request or prompt or something, or even if you just wanna say hi.

I'll try to keep up on tags for each of the girls on this blog, and maybe the MC if he ever ends up showing up.

#my art for...my art? #my fic for fics I write (My account on AO3 is libbbet, by the way.) #musings for thoughts & opinions, on characters, the game, the fandom, etc. #not ddlc will be tagged as such, as will #my headcanons! I guess I'll also tag ships if it's explicitly in a shipping context! Oh, and asks will be tagged as #asks. I'll probably add more to this later! I rarely ever tag on my main so I'm sorta bad at it

I'll try to tag obvious triggers, but please let me know if I should tag anything in that regard.

I'm just a silly little fool. Don't mind me.

[skoati]

My friends told me I need to start posting my fic ideas to Tumblr because I simply do not have enough time to write them all myself so here it goes(tho I may actually write out a proper fic if I get enough people telling me I should).

Warning for suggestive themes

Vampire AU Mint Milkshake(nyo america x england)

First scenario is that Amelia is a college student looking for a sugar daddy. She runs into Arthur who is decked out like someone stuck in Victorian Era England and she's like score!

She just thinks he's an eccentric old money type millionaire and is. Completely oblivious to the fact that he's a vampire. Like she can be smacked in the face with it but she refuses to notice. At some point he probably gets frustrated and TRIES to get her to notice but nada.

She gets disappointed when he gives her old Victorian antiques and valuables instead of the latest iPhone(womp womp) but at this point she's intrigued enough by him not to leave so easily

Arthur would put her on a "healthy" diet so he doesn't have to eat her fast food infested blood. He even tries to cook for her but since he is a vampire that doesn't eat human food anymore and probably hasn't cooked in 200 years, it turns out terrible. (She eats it anyway)

She keeps waking up all woozy and confused in random places like a Denny's parking lot after being at his place with no recollection of what happened right before. Amelia sees nothing wrong with this tho she just keeps coming back like heyyy ^u^

Arthur's the one tryna practically get rid of her but also gets attached. Maybe one week she doesn't show up for whatever reason so Arthur comes to her house like what's going on and she invites him in. She wakes up tucked in with a bruise on her neck or wrist or wherever and only realizes later that 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴. But Amelia being Amelia is not that alarmed by this.

I think the comedic potential is extraordinary. He's like why do you have so many bug traps hanging all over your house and she's like:

"Oh I think there's like, mosquitos in my room or something. I haven't seen them but I keep waking up with these weird bites on my neck! They're like super deep too. The mosquitos must be huge!" , unintentionally giving Arthur a complex about his teeth. He's muttering to himself like "my teeth are small but not 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 small"

Not sure how the situation gets resolved. I imagine she only actually sees that he's a vampire right before their first sexytimes cuz I headcanon vampires can't get a boner without fresh blood. And shes finally like ohhhh. But anywayyyy

Scenario 2: Amelia is the vampire.

Amelia and Arthur went to highschool together in the 2000's, but she disappeared senior year and everyone thought she got kidnapped. She was never found and it's still an unsolved case. It was a big deal because she was the cheer captain and one of the most popular girls in school but over the years it mostly got forgotten.

Fast forward to Arthur in his 30's waiting at a bus stop or smth being a grumpy adult coming home from work or whatever and he looks to his left and does a double take because he sees 𝘩𝘦𝘳. And she hasn't aged a day.

Amelia's like do I know u? And he's like I know 𝘺𝘰𝘶 and things go from there. He takes her home and is kind of freaking out internally. They never really talked much in highschool cuz he was a nerd(maybe he worked for the school newspaper) and just in separate cliques in general but he had a huge crush on her.

Anyways one thing leads to another and he lives out his highschool fantasies of fugging her and lets her live at his house and feed on him. I like this idea for the Schrodinger's age gap.

That's it for now. Lemme know what u guys think ^_^

[bookshelfdreams]

Yes, being uneducated as a child is my headcanon. It makes perfect sense to me since so many people of Ed's background at the time were. I also agree that he likely can read a little bit, though not well, but don't think he can write properly at all.

Learning to read and write in childhood was reserved for the higher classes at the time, unless you were very lucky to know someone who could and who cared enough to teach you. Ed's mother might've taught him if she herself could, but his father would absolutely not care enough to get him any sort of education. If he himself could even read and write, and it is just as probable he couldn't either.

If you know of Harpo Marx, who was a very famous actor and comedian of the 1920s and 1930s, and his upbringing then you'll see what I see for Ed. Harpo didn't learn to read properly until later in life and never learned to write properly. Well into his 50s would write things like "sizzers" and "wadder" instead of scissors and water. He couldn't even write his own name for most of his life. Harpo was also a certifiable genius and highly skilled in music to the point that he taught himself to play the harp when he was still in his teens.

That is what I see for Ed. Uneducated in reading and writing but highly skilled at other things. You do not need to be able to read properly to do maths. Just ask anyone with dyslexia and yet no issues working with numbers. You just need to be able to recognize the figures and how they work together in a given situation, which Ed has shown he's very good at. That alone should be proof enough he's very far from stupid, even if he is uneducated. Being uneducated does not make anyone stupid.

Okay. You're allowed to have that headcanon. I agree that being illiterate doesn't make someone stupid. And if the headcanon existed in isolation, it wouldn't be a problem.

But it doesn't. It's just one aspect in an interpretation of Ed that makes him out to be uncultured, uneducated, unfamiliar with basic things, and dependent on white people. I'm not saying this is how you see him. But this uncharitable (and wrong) (and racist) interpretation of Ed exists, and it's part of a pattern behaviour common across many fandoms, where characters of colour get sidelined, or misinterpreted to fit racist stereotypes. And details like this are never just details.

For example, the headcanon that Ed is illiterate often goes hand in hand with "Izzy has to do the reading/writing for him". Which fits into the larger pattern of "Ed needs Izzy to take care of/manage him".

Or the "Ed eats soap" joke: Part of a larger pattern of "Stede has to teach Ed about things like proper hygiene and skin care". Again this fits into "Ed needs a white man's help for basic life skills".

I'm not saying that this pattern is always (or even often) intentional. Growing up in a racist society, we all have racist assumptions in us that we need to unpack. This is why I said I would like people who just assume he's illiterate to look at that assumption and think about why they have it. Because assumptions can often be warped by biases we maybe aren't even consciously aware of.

Now I am not saying that you personally see Ed (or other characters of colour) like this, or that you're a bad person for having that headcanon. But I hope you can understand why it's such a hot button issue, especially when it's brought up in the way it was in that post.