#me: zero building website experience

[lonely-night]

it's only the end of the first week of new semester the anxiety and depression is crawling up already lmao this is bad

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [2]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but what you can't do is accept the fact that they're your soulmates.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory

Words: 8.6k

I posted this a day later than the one on ao3 because I forgor :''DD

Seeing the support and comments from both website got me off my ass to fix the storyline, even made a lot of changes on the chapters I've had preserved.

this chapter got rewritten a LOT, and was longer than it initially was so I hope y'all don't mind long chapters.

[1] [2] [3] ...

__________

There's been times where your heart has truly fluttered for a man throughout your lifetime. Too many times has it been because some of your bosses (read: Jimin) flirted with you but you have never felt anything remotely giddy for anyone else outside the group.

Except for the man now sitting in front of you, flashing you a dimpled smile after handing out his card with an ease you only see in your friends and male leads in dramas. An action more attractive than any kabaedon or flexed muscles.

He's attractive but you don't like like him.

Yoo Guwon came to you as a bashful giant, rubbing the back of his head whenever he’s flustered and a constant sheepish smile featuring his deep set of dimples indented on both cheeks. He’s charming and articulate with his words just like a lawyer would be. Everything about him reminds you of another gentle and clumsy giant probably hunched over his music equipment back in the BigHit building.

It’s only been a few hours but you surprisingly covered most of the basic grounds of first meeting conversations during the short time you drove around Han River in a two seated bicycle. From the meager questions of ‘what dreams do you have?’ to the more complex and deeper ‘If the world falls into ruin, will you burn my body when I die?’. 

Too graphic for a first date but you wanted to test the waters and you concluded that he’s too perfect.

He knows the right words to say, the proper way to act and it makes you suspicious. Your mother has never recommended you to a good guy before, having a track record of ten shitty suitors who all ran their mouths about their mediocre achievements, and dared to ask you about your purity before ranting about how dirty you are for not saving yourself for your husband the moment they find out you're not a virgin anymore. Then all of a sudden, she led you to good boy Guwon.

And it makes your skin crawl.

What did that woman eat? Has your father fed her something bad this time? What is she planning? It’s scary how she has finally advocated for an actual nice guy.

After taking you to a museum you're sure Namjoon has visited once, he drove you both to the Han River to rent a double seated bike to drive around with before ending the night with a nice reservation somewhere in the Seocho district.

The place is as sophisticated as fine dining areas usually are. With an intimate lighting, marbled tabletops matched with soft cushioned seats and high ceilings to make space for modern glass chandeliers, the restaurant was no doubt expensive, the type you have to reserve a spot two months prior to be able to experience its greatness. The point was driven home when you saw the amount of zeros it cost for one can of soda. 

You asked him how he managed to get a table and he went down the rabbit hole of the many advantages he got from successful cases, ranging from a free monthly subscription to fruit baskets to a free week-long voucher to a five star hotel somewhere in Busan. 

Going back to the butterflies, while not as wild as it got when Hoseok possessively wrapped an arm thrown around your waist to pretend as your boyfriend to ward off a persistent suitor, they're there, albeit subtle.

Very subtle.

Maybe it's in the way he didn't think twice to hand out his card towards the waiter in the most suave way with the thick golden watch decorating his wrist, sleeves neatly folded up to reveal the thick cords of veins on his forearms with his hair strewn messily and a dimpled smile that made you react like that.

You ignore the voice comparing his uncannily similar traits to someone else.

Meeting Guwon wasn't like how the movies illustrated love at first sights. They talked of fireworks exploding in the background and hearing the sweet chimes of wedding bells upon eye contact but for him, it's just that. A meeting far more formal than you'd like. He has a lot of qualities that check your list of husband material traits yet instead of butterflies, you could only feel an echoing hollowness in your chest as you listen to him list out his future plans. 

It felt like surrendering to the fate the divinities had weaved out for you which is being an untethered forced to love someone you don't even feel any spark with.

He's a nice man who’s offering a comfortable future and you're just a woman who wishes to live a lavish life at home while your husband wastes his years away in the office. You might be a hopeless romantic who wished for soulmates and the like but you're not blind to the opportunity Guwon offers you.

You haven't texted the gc anything during the date other than the selfie you took before you left for the date but there's been constant vibrations in your purse and it's no doubt the guys asking for updates but for a moment you wanted to try to focus on the man before you.

Not that it wasn't hard to try with Guwon anyways.

Whenever the man spoke of his achievements and hobbies with a humble approach, he never forgot to ask you for your opinion or input on the topic. You also noted how he has never cut you off and let you speak whenever you wanted, listening with an eagerness only your friends usually show. He asked relevant questions with a genuine curiosity, eager to know more about you. 

So when he asked if you wanted to go on a second date that night, it came to no surprise for anyone when you accepted it albeit the heaviness in your heart.

It was funny how eagerly you searched for a husband you could bring to your parents' doorsteps but the moment someone with all the qualities you seeked came, it felt disappointing. Boring even.

But you can learn, this man is your ticket to living without working anymore.

It came to no one's surprise that your mother was overjoyed, she wasted no time calling you before you could even change to squeeze the memory of today out of you.

The shrill scream of victory she let out that night was unforgettable because finally, a suitor you actually liked. Your dad even congratulated her off-screen for her matchmaking achievements before telling you to bring Guwon home to meet them.

Logically, you’re aware you've won the love roulette—Guwon has it all, he checked every box on your list, yet it felt like defeat and it tasted foul, bitter on your tongue.

You couldn't tell them that it was you deciding to settle, that would break her heart.

Tapping the end call button felt like the dam breaking and all the water held onto for so long flowed out. You fall lifelessly on your bed with a heavy sigh. Taking a couple evening breaths, you finally opened the group chat with an overwhelming number of unread messages.

[Today, 08:49]

[08:49] Mimi: I'd run my bank dry to take you on dates if you'd dress so pretty like that, noona~

[08:49]Tete: We're really seeing this for free when the poor guy has to pay for it. #livingapriviledgedlife😁👍

[08:49] Hobi: Wow noona🤯

[08:50] Yoongs: 👍

[08:55] Tete: Wait, I don't think those shoes fit you, go back home and change it😁

[08:56] Jinnie: Hey, you're showing too much skin on the first date! Go back and change!

[08:57] Joonie: Ignore these haters noona, I hope you enjoy your day😊

[Today, 21:48]

[21:48] Jinnie: are you home yet? You haven't seen our messages in HOURS.

[21:48] Tete: NOONA DID YOU GET MURDERED?!😱

[21:50] Joonie: Let's be rational guys, don't jump to conclusions. The date might just be going great if she's busy enough to not check her phone😊.

[21:51] Mimi: doing great? don't scare me like that hyung😵‍💫

[21:51] Tete: BUT WHAT IF SHE GOT KIDNAPPED HYUNG????

[21:51] Hobi: please reply soon, we're worried🥲

Jungkook's absence from the conversation didn't come to you as a shock, the kid doesn't even reply to you for a week despite being one of the people who raised him. Nonetheless, you sat up from your bed to record a quick video of you giving them a thumbs up and turning the camera to show your room.

The latter was an assurance to Taehyung that no, you also didn't get kidnapped into someone else's house to be someone's housekeeper, and no, it wasn't a clone either.

The moment your message gets sent, the replies blow up your phone almost instantaneously.

[22:28] Mimi: noona you're alive!

[22:28] Joonie: How did the date go?😊

[22:28] Jinnie: how nice of you to remember to update us PEASANTS.

[22:28] Mimi: How was Guwon?

[22:29] Tete: I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE WENT WITH YOU ANYWAYS

[22:29] You: Shockingly, he's a pretty nice guy. Not too bad on the eyes, and pretty smart. I think you'd get along well with him, joon. He's a lawyer so he covered most of the expenses today😁

[22:29] You: Overall, it was great, we're gonna go on a second one. He's pretty cool.

Instantly, messages from the members, even Jungkook’s to your surprise, flooded your screen.

[22:30] Tete: Noona you've been cursed! We need to bring you to the nearest shaman to break it!!

[22:30] Mimi: don't joke with us noona

[22:30] Mimi: I just got goosebumps!

[22:30] Joonie: Congratulations are in order then? Will we be expecting him around you soon?

[22:31] Yoongs: I need to meet him, need to know if he's good enough

[22:31] Yoongs: men are trash, I need to see him for myself before I decide

[22:32] Yoongs: and you know what they say about lawyers, they LIE. I wouldn't trust him 

[22:32] Jinnie: WE need to meet the man who managed to steal your heart! I want to talk to him😊

[22:32] Mimi: don't use that emoji again, hyung

[22:32] Hobi: SCARY JWANN😱

[22:32] Joonie: Let’s not threaten anyone please.

[22:32] Joonie: But I'm really happy for you 😁.

[22:33] Tete: Those periods really scares me hyung…

[22:33] Tete: Somehow, I don't think you mean it…

[22:33] Joonie: What makes you think that, tae?😁.

[22:33] Tete: 😰

[22:34] Ggukie: a few drinks will fix you up, noona😁

[22:34]  Mimi: you'll invite me this time right?

[22:34] You: I don't know, you already used your mischief hours this week, I doubt Sejin would be so kind next time.

[22:34] Hobi: if he does that right now during practice, I also wouldn't be so kind to him😊

[22:34] Mimi: you are scaring me hyung…

[22:34] Hobi: good😊

[22:34] Tete: Hyung, are you just gonna ignore Jungkook leaving?!?!!?

The messages continued for a good five minutes, mostly consisting of holding Jimin back from leaving practice and him sending pictures of the infamous Hoseok death glare from across the room before your doorbell chime rang, making you shoot up straight.

A beat. Then it continues in three quick successions, the knocks almost in sing-song and sounded like two hands were used to produce the tune, giving you an inkling on who might be visiting you at this late hours of night.

Padding out of your room, the front door suddenly swings open without warning and you yelp. By the doorsteps stands the intruder, a tall man in a black coat with his face hidden by a mask and a cap. Your body would've frozen a thousand times over if you didn't know this stranger who's hugging two paper bags, one overflowing with snacks and the other a breeze away from tearing apart from the weight and water drenching the material of the bag.

"Hi noona!"

After today, seeing Jungkook felt like a cure, his presence alone repelling the heaviness in your shoulders and you ushered him inside and he wandered into your home with ease, approaching the coffee table to place down the shopping bags. 

Suddenly you remembered what he had scheduled prior.

"You're putting me on Hoba’s punishment rotation, what are you doing here?" 

He giggled. “We both know he won't, hyung loves you more than me.”

He falls on your couch with the ease of someone who has visited your space numerous times throughout the years, propping up his feet on the back support and folding his arms underneath his head before staring up at you, expectantly.

"Anyways, I brought us food and drinks, don't I deserve a little praise?" 

Sometimes it's easy to forget how young Jungkook really is, forced to grow and act mature to blend in with his surroundings, you've always seen him stand with pride alongside his hyungs. Seeing him awaiting for your praise so eagerly like a pup fills your heart with awe.

"Yeah yeah, good job. Now move over, let me sit down."

You tapped his arm, motioning him to move over so you could sit next to him, something he obeyed without resistance, busying himself in removing the contents from the soiled paper bag instead.

“Couldn't you have put some effort into it? At least sound grateful.” He pouts. Placing down the cluster of beer cans, you turned to him and pinched his cheeks.

“Oh my dearest darling, thank you for saving this noona of yours. Such an amazing baby I have here.”

Despite being the one who asked for it, Jungkook only rolled his eyes with a barely held back grin as he slapped your hands away, making you laugh, and turned to the bag holding the snacks he bought. You didn't miss the redness dusting his cheeks or the cheeky grin that tugged his lips wide as he spilled the contents of the last bag onto the table.

There's a significant amount of sweets and snacks laid before you, as well as stacks of canned beers and you turned to him with furrowed brows.

"Wouldn't this ruin your diet?"

He waved you off with a huff. "I work out enough to eat all of these in one sitting."

Instantly, your mind brings you back to white walls and gray furniture, faced with manager Sejin who warned you about interfering with the idols' diet at the start of your career. If it wasn't for Bang PD waving off their concerns, saying they needed to be rewarded for their hard work anyways, you would've been long booted out of the company.

It's a matter long settled yet it remains to weigh heavily in your head.

Seeing the hesitation in your eyes, Jungkook continues.

"I can show you proof of my efforts," 

He then reached down to the fabric of his shirt tucked into his jeans and tugged it up, flashing you the tightly corded muscles in forming on his abdomen and the thin happy trail you often see when patting his sweat down during concerts and you hastily pulled it back down with a yelp, cheeks growing hot while he laughed.

As he throws his head back in his mirth, you couldn't help but notice the way adulthood has taken away the fullness of his cheeks and has sharpened his features. A far cry from the sensitive young boy who cried his eyes out every time his hyungs got hurt. 

There was no denying that Jungkook had grown without you noticing and it makes your chest swell with pride knowing he's been raised well by the others, in extension, although not so much, you as well.

"Don't worry so much about me, noona. I can handle the consequences now, you leave the reprimanding to me."

Under the warm overhead light of your living room, even with the exaggerated puff of his chest and his nose turnt up high, Jungkook's shoulder had never looked sturdier, reliable, in your eyes. You smiled, reaching to pinch both his cheeks making him grin wider than he already was.

"Look at you acting so cool, when did you grow so much?"

He rolled his eyes, pulling your hands away from his cheeks and entangling it with his. “I've always been cool, you just don't pay attention to me, noona.”

Before you could reply, he's already moved to reach for the beverages on the coffee table, popping two of them open and handing you one can, immediately you take a swig.

The beer fizzled in your tongue and left a trail of burns down your throat. The sensation is refreshing nonetheless and you place it down next to him before picking up the large bags of chips and standing up.

"I'll go put these in a bowl, go put something on the tv."

"Can I play anime?"

You waved at him dismissively, unable to find it in yourself to say no to him as you head towards your kitchen to transfer the junk into a bowl when a shrill tune from your bedroom cuts through the air, someone was calling you. You look over to Jungkook, scrolling through his phone, no doubt looking for a movie online.

"Gguk, can you pick up the call for me? My hands are busy right now."

There's a shuffle of feet behind you and in a moment, your phone quietens down. Finished with filling one bowl, you turn to find Jungkook leaving your room with a deep look and your phone in hand. His jaw set tight as he stood there with furrowed brows, eyes lit with irritation.

Looking at his reaction, you asked about your mysterious caller.

"Who was it?"

When he turned to you, the tick in his jaw dispersed. All of a sudden, he's smiling at you with mischief twinkling in his eyes, the change giving you a whiplash.

"It was the others, didn’t answer their calls cause I want you for myself tonight, noona."

(Later on, you'd find yourself staring at the many unread messages and two missed calls from Guwon, wondering in your drunken state if you've muted your phone at some point earlier.)

Hearing it from his lips now, your body locks, heart stuttering in your chest and butterflies exploding in your stomach, spreading a tingly feeling throughout your body and you laugh. 

"Where did you hear that line from, brat? You just activated my fight or flight!"

"Taehyung says that and gets thanked but when I do it, I'm punished?" He pouts, stomping as he approaches the island counters and crossing his arms on the marble surface.

It reminded you of a bunny you saw from a video on the internet, angrily thumping their feet at their owner when it was being purposely ignored.

“In his defense, he does it while he’s acting like my crazy ‘exes’ and saves me from dates.”

“That’s just favoritism! I saved you once from a date!”

You threw him a deadpan stare. "Throwing me over your shoulders and kidnapping me isn’t the same as Tae and Jimin acting crazy enough to make the other guy uncomfortable to save me.”

Hoseok had your favorite troublemakers kneeled on the floor with both their hands up and facing the wall at the time, punishing them for being an hour late to their practice. He had called you in, asking if they had been accompanying you during —they weren’t. 

Long story short, you didn't risk sharing Hoseok’s wrath with the two and took Jungkook instead, a decision you quickly regretted later on in the night when instead of approaching to act like one of your exes when you gave him a signal, he hoisted you up onto his shoulder and ran away while your date only watched in terror.

“Now that’s blatant favoritism! I didn’t kidnap you, we ran away together into the sunset! It was romantic!"

"Not for the other guy, no! He was shitting bricks when he called my mom. She got me squatting the entire afternoon when we met again."

Mentioning it alone made phantom pains throb in your knees and thighs, you shivered. If torture wasn't a socially unacceptable and punishable offense in the modern world, you were sure your mother would have stripped you down to your underwear and made you squat under the sun in front of your family house instead. 

The absolute fury she unleashed on you that day is enough proof that she would've done it with no hesitation if it was lawfully appropriate.

"That's too much for a failed date."

"No reason to dwell on it. Main point is, don't take notes from dramas anymore."

With a last roll of his eye, Jungkook then picked up the bowls and brought them to the coffee table following you who had returned to your seat ahead of him. Once the two of you are situated back on the couch, he navigates through the streaming app for an interesting title before eventually settling on the romance anime he claimed to have heard amazing reviews about.

Without hesitation, Jungkook navigates himself into a familiar between your legs and leaned back on your chest, head finding his rightful space under your chin with a precision gained from doing so for years.

It goes without saying that Bangtan is affectionate. With the pressure they had during their rise to fame, it wasn't shocking that they comfortably seeked each other's comfort and spared no skinship. As one of the only staff within constant exposure that's close to their age, you too became one of their pillars of serenity. 

It was the reason you had crushes on everyone at least twice during your time as their make-up artist, not that any of the boys knew nor does it matter.

Stability and work takes precedence over something as shaky as love.

There's only so much comfort another man can offer, your mother says from years before.

Jungkook more than anyone else in the group. 

As a boy who sacrificed his childhood and time with his parents to pursue his dream, you felt more inclined to watch over him than the others who were adults by the time you joined. You were there for his first heartbreak, his first drink, his high school graduation; the point is, you were there and you held him every time he struggled with problems—mostly girl problems—he's too shy to seek his hyungs for.

But now with his growth spurt, cuddling up to you like he used to when he was younger with his gangly legs awkwardly hanging from the couch, carelessly leaning his head in between the mounds of your breast while his large hand mindlessly drew circles on your knee, you found yourself wondering about the appropriateness of it all.

A man and a woman alone in a room at night in close proximity, body leaning against each other. Society would argue they wouldn’t end the night as friends anymore after the encounter.

You paused mid-drink and grimaced.

It must be the beer talking.

"Noona."

"Yeah?"

"Wrap your arms around me, it's cold."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's not though? I always keep my house warm." 

He let out an exasperated groan before reaching behind to grab your arm and roughly slinging it on his shoulders.

As time continued its cycle and episodes started to fly across the screen, the pile of opened beer cans on the table expanded. You really tried to focus on the movie but the feeling of his fingers tracing stars on your bare thigh left you oddly bothered. Jungkook has shifted his position higher at some point during the movie, his body now turned sideways, successfully squeezing himself into the small space between you and the back of the couch, legs entangling itself with yours while an arm is thrown across your body.

This position puts his nose closer to your ears and it makes you shiver. The feel of his hot breath fanning across your skin has given you more goosebumps in under an hour more than you've had throughout your life.

Even drunk, you could feel the building tension thickening around you and the will to tell him to off ebbs away with every caress of his fingers.

Gone were the innocent traces of stars and hearts on your thigh, his hand now grabbed onto your waist almost possessively, thumb rolling slow circles on your bare stomach; the motion conjuring the most unholiest of thoughts known to mankind.

When the credits started rolling, you knew you had to draw the line before you lost yourself to intoxicated thoughts and end the night with regrets.

"Time for you to go home now, your hyungs must be looking for you."

You tried prying his hand from your waist so you could reach for your phone on the table only for him to tighten around you, stopping you from moving away. He groaned, head nuzzling closer into your neck and his lips grazed your skin. 

Instantly, electric jolts shoot through your body.

"Jungkook, I need to get my phone and tell someone to fetch you from here."

"Can't I just stay the night? I'm too comfortable right now…"

The gruff in his voice and the sensation of his lips moving on your skin has your stomach fluttering and you're too drunk to address the growing heat in your abdomen but thanked the sense of professionalism seeping through the fogs of your intoxicated mind.

Managing to pry him off, you reached for your phone and opened up SMS to tell Jin to pick their youngest up.

           [01:21] You: Jwannn

           [01:21] You: can you pick up your kid from my house? He's drunk and stinkyyy

           [01:23] Jinnie: your knight in shining armor is on the way!

“Just let me stay the nighttt,” he whined into your skin.

"I don't have any more spare beds other than this couch for you to sleep in, Gguk. I turned the other room into a closet, remember?"

"I can just sleep with you on the bed, we used to do that, didn't we?"

He attempted to reach around you again but you pushed his limbs away once more before slapping his arm.

You tried not noticing how thicker and harder the muscles felt, you really did. 

"But it's different now, Gguk. Come on, go wash up and drink water, I've already told someo—"

The moment you rose to stand, his arms shot around your waist in record speed and pulled you flush to his front, nuzzling his nose on the back of your neck before he sighed. When the first hot exhale hits your skin, you flinch away but the limbs wounded tightly around your middle restrict you from moving.

You try to ignore the heat simmering under your skin but it was hard when you felt the press of his plush lips on your nape as he leans closer into your skin. 

“You always smell so nice, noona.” He whispered breathily, the sensation of his moving mouth sending shivers down your spine and you shivered.

“I-I can give you my lotion brand later, let me go so I can get it.”

“But I'm comfortable here…”

Mustering every strength left in your body, you manage to pull an arm out of the death grip he had on your body and slapped his hand. Jungkook easily ignores it.

“Come on Gguk, let me out now. This isn't appropriate.”

"How is it different now?"

The alcohol intoxicating your system loosened your grip on your inhibitions and your lips regrettably moved faster than your brain.

"You're a man now, Gguk. Honestly, we shouldn't be even doing this right now. It's inappropriate."

You try to stand once more, managing to pry him from your waist and standing up before his arms hooked around you once more and tugging you back down, this time on his lap as he burrows his head onto your back.

"Gguk?"

"Yo-you see me as a man, noona?"

As a child your mother has taught you how words could heavily influence and drastically change a situation, now as an adult, you've mastered the art of speech. But as you sit still on his thighs, body warm and inhibitions blurred by the alcohol, your loose lips have led you back to the very thing you try to avoid.

"It's hard not to think so when you've grown up this much."

In a flash, Jungkook is now hovering over your face as he places you back down on the couch, his nose a hair's width from touching yours and his hands planted on each side of your head. 

There's a feral hunger swimming in his eyes as it stared into yours, desperate and intense before it fell to the plush of your parted lips and his gaze darkens. All of a sudden, you're a prey pinned down by an apex predator who's ready to devour you at any given moment.

Fire alarms blared in your mind and you regained control over your senses.

“Jungkook.”

"Noona."

You tried wriggling out of his grasp but it was no use, he's stronger. "Get off of me, kid."

“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a kid anymore?”

“I'm not hearing anything out when you're acting like this, Gguk.”

He scoffed. “I just want to sleep here, in the same bed, nothing else is gonna happen. Why is it such a bad thing?”

“It's different now, Gguk. Come on, let me go.”

“How is it so different? You and Jimin hyung cuddle sometimes, I've seen you fall asleep next to Hobi hyung once, why is it different with me?”

“It's different because we're both drunk and things could happen.”

“I wouldn't mind it.” Jungkook responds with a cheeky smile. His grip on one of your wrist loosened enough that you were able to hit his arm and he giggled in response.

“But I do. It wouldn't be fair.”

Even something as small as letting one member stay at your home without the others can be the loudest announcement for the rest of the group. All those times you've rejected your friends, with reasons like ‘I don’t want to risk everything’, and ‘I don't want to hurt the others’, to turn back around to accept their youngest would be hypocritical of you.

He scoffs. "You tell us about all your stupid dates, don't you think it's more unfair for us?”

A familiar weight grows in your chest. Guilt tasted like rust on your tongue and dug into your heart with a ribbed knife. Your own late night thoughts manifesting before you and you pushed him away.

After everything, you were all friends, you trusted them more than you do with your other circle. There's not a secret left undiscussed between the eight of you so it was no surprise that you had indulged them with the details of your quest for a husband. Nobody ever raised any complaints with you sharing your days so you never thought twice about it.

It's been five years since Jin had confessed, three for Taehyung. Their eldest had confessed for the sake of him finally being able to move on after your rejection and with how he acted after, you had believed him. It was different for Taehyung who had continued to act like normal after his confession, neither dejected nor did he show signs of letting go but he did introduce a date to your group once, a year later, so you had assumed the same.

Were you wrong after all?

“Jungkook, we're drunk. Let’s talk about this tom—”

“I've never been more sober in my life than I am right now, noona.”

You didn't respond, couldn't reply.

What were you supposed to even say?

Jungkook usually obeyed you and his hyungs without hesitation, happily offering his aid whenever he could. He's the type of friend who's run himself dry just to fetch you a cup of water from the other side of the world but now as he hovers over you, he became a whole new person.

Greed has always been an irritating parasite that eats away at a person's morals but somehow in your drunken mind, you thought it looked so good on him. It fits him and his generous character the way one light clothing molds well with the dark fabrics. His familiar scent of vanilla and coconut clouded your senses, calming your panicking mind into a hush, leaving nothing but the thoughts of how his lips tasted and wondering if he’s as sweet as he smelled.

He let out a shaky exhale from through his mouth as he watched your parted lips with a rapt attention as if hypnotized by the way they subtly trembled with every breath that passed through.

In the pregnant silence of your room, his voice cuts through like a knife.

“Can I kiss you?”

He whispers against your lips, voice breaking in the middle from the weight of his request, honeyed and pleading, as if your kiss holds the answer to the problems of the world and holds the power to break him.

His hand travels up to cup your cheek oh so carefully like you're fragile china yet you feel yourself shatter under his touch.

You are losing grasp on your sober thoughts as lust starts to cloud your already compromised judgment, his request far too tempting to ignore.

Maybe a kiss wouldn’t hurt. 

But wouldn’t it be unfair for the others who have expressed their romantic intentions to you since years ago? 

It was a last ditch effort to reason with your mind and your body froze from the cold wave of realization. In the short time after his question, you recall the confessions you turned down to not ruin the relationship Bangtan has established for themselves and the bitter taste it left on your tongue.

“Jungkook… we can’t.”

Watching his expression contort into confused hurt almost made you want to take your words back, but your mind takes you to memories of apologetic and understanding smiles you’ve received throughout the years and the aches from those moments resurfaces, squeezing your heart in a tight grip.

“I-I’m sorry I can’t control my feelings, I just wanted to tell you about it… Thought that maybe after this, I could move on.” An apologetic voice whispers, the memory of premature confessions in the middle of a cleanup resurfacing.

“I can’t—I can’t do it to them, it’d be unfair.”

You pushed him back and he relented, letting himself be sat back onto the other side of the couch defeatedly. Despite it, his tight grip on your waist remained, pulling you flush to him and burying his face in your chest as if trying to hear the lie in your words through the beatings of your heart.

“I’m also seeing Guwon now.”

“Then don’t let me meet him. I-I don’t know if I can take it.”

It was heart wrenching and at the same time, left an uncomfortable twist in your stomach. Jungkook never had to beg since you first met him, everything he could ever want was given to him by you and his hyungs without hesitation. Hearing him plead for you to never bring Guwon around if fate had actually paired you both, it was a different kind of pain.

It felt like thorns growing and rooting its stems of pointy ends into the deepest parts of your heart. You hated this, but you don’t want to hurt any of your boys by accepting one.

Relief comes in the form of Taehyung when he busted into your apartment while Jungkook has excused himself to your bathroom to sober up just a moment before. Seokjin trails behind him, calmer than the younger man who declared his arrival with a deep voice and a loud bang of the door. You immediately thought of the elderly couple and the new family of three living next to you and internally facepalmed.

“Noona! We’ve come to take Jungkook away!”

Kim Seokjin’s face has never been more handsome when he closed the door behind him, and you verbalized your thought, leading his ears to glow red in embarrassment.

“Am I only handsome to you when I’m closing the doors?! This face that people fawn over all over the world?!”

“It’s your true calling, door guy.”

“Oh shut it hyung, you’re making my head hurt.” Jungkook mutters as he reentered the living room, looking far better than when he left.

The tension was palpable, the effect of a rejected profession still raw and thick in the small joined space of the living room and kitchen and you caught Jin's eyes as the two youngest bickered, there’s a knowing look passed between you, an unsaid ‘let’s talk later’ hanging in the air.

“Hey, just because you got to escape Hoba’s practice without scratch doesn't mean you're hot shit, show me some respect!”

Seokjin scolds, accompanied by a playful kick to their youngest’s butt. Immediately the stuffy air dissipates and Jungkook responds in kind; by kicking him in the shin, hard enough to launch Seokjin into another lengthy nag.

It was a quick retrieval after his rant. Jungkook lets himself be towed out of your apartment by an oddly enthusiastic Taehyung who's going on about a new game trailer he saw online while Jin has offered to be left behind to clean up the mess. It was no doubt obvious, the familiar awkwardness and tenseness brought by a rejected confession lingered in the air when they arrived, it only took him one look at you and he already knew. 

The moment the door slams shut behind the boys, he immediately began:

“Did he admit it?”

His voice was soft yet it rang loudly in the pindrop silence of your living room. The sigh he let out echoed more when you nodded.

“I told him to not do it, you know? But you know how stubborn he gets.”

You didn’t reply. You simply move, walking to the trash bin to put the empty beer cans in and Jin follows close with the bowls stacked on top of each other to place in the sink. It was a brief moment of reprieve. He let the moment from earlier simmer in your stomach, let the smoke from it fill your lungs and weigh your heart till you burst.

Out of the seven boys, you've always turned to either him or Yoongi as they're older than you, so it came to nobody's shock when you break and told him.

“It just never gets better, I always feel guilty even if I didn’t choose. I’m just lucky I didn’t have to suffer through seven of these, I don’t think I could take it and just quit.”

It was a thought you’ve entertained when Taehyung came to you with his heart in his hand, giving it to you carelessly despite knowing how you’ve handled the other confessions. He was all dopey smiles and flushed cheeks, it continued even when you’ve pushed his heart back to him with an apologetic look.

Seeing the happy creases in his eyes iron out despite the huge boxy smile continuing to play on his lips, the existing pressuring guilt reawakened. Taehyung’s heart that gleamed and glowed gold, vulnerable for you to take and use from where it settled in the middle of his offering palms. You could’ve taken advantage of it all as they were rising in fame, when they were facing discrimination from the other companies and had found comfort in you but you didn’t.

Even with the attraction you've felt for them, you were nothing but a makeup artist to the company. Another asset to deploy and replace if it got annoying to handle. You couldn't risk your career on uncertainties, this is your dream job.

You loved them all equally and held them in the same regards as the others, they’re your best friends, chosen soul companions even without the marks to solidify it. 

They loved you and you loved them all but you wouldn't bet your life on an uncertain future.

“You should give us more credit, you know?” 

He says from the kitchen sink, the sound of water slowing into a halt. Seokjin didn’t move for a while. When he did, it was to place down the plates, washing his hands before turning around to face you.

“We’re grown adults now, we can handle rejection so don’t feel too bad about it. You can choose and we’d even help you keep it a secret from everyone besides us eight.”

It was genuine. Even in the haze of your intoxication, those words felt like a cool balm for your aching heart. While Namjoon’s words were cited research, formal and factual and Yoongi’s were calming droughts to ease the discomfort of sadness brought by gloomy thoughts, Seokjin speaks from the heart, true and unbiased but says it with a gentleness and care. 

Guilt sets like a boulder on your heart. Being able to feel, to experience such a privilege when all you've done is break his heart since your hunt for a husband, the weight in your chest multiplied and tears sprung from your eyes.

You wanted them but you couldn't risk your dream job, couldn't risk a friendship as precious as theirs for kisses and hugs that eventually has its ends.

You didn’t even notice it when he crossed the distance between you both and pulled you plush to his chest but you recognized the familiar sensation of plush lips pressing against your forehead.

If it lingered a few seconds past what's platonically allowed, you didn’t mention it.

Seokjin’s muted scent of freshly baked cakes brought silence to the rampaging waves of thoughts in your mind and if you pressed your nose flush to his chest to bury yourself in his fragrance, he didn’t say anything, bringing one hand behind your head protectively.

“I'm sorry to put you through this pain, Jinnie. I-I didn’t know.”

“I knew you didn’t know but I'll be fine... eventually.” He breathes out before leaning down to bury himself into the nest of your hair. "As long as you're happy, then I am too."

It was heavy, being loved and held so preciously even after you’ve turned him down, it felt cruel, sadistic even. But like the selfish woman you are, you accepted it. Soaked in his affections greedily.

“You know, he asked me to never show Guwon around you guys.”

He sighed. “I knew he would.”

“Do you want that as well?

Silence followed but you heard his answer loud and clear.

The second date happened after the first leg of the tour in Seoul.

Although planned suddenly, you appreciated the downtime after being lost in the haze of rushed outfit changes, reapplying makeup, and patting sweat from foreheads. If anything, you were thankful you could loosen up after earlier. The awkward tension didn’t go amiss, it only took Namjoon and Yoongi one look between you and Jungkook before taking charge on how the night progresses.

Yoongi didn't waste any time waving you over to ask for help for his makeup, even when he was already being prepped by one of your older colleagues, Ji hae. Thankfully, the woman lets you take over, saying she wanted a snack anyways.

The man didn't bother asking you what happened and settled comfortably in his chair but not before offering you the snack he bought earlier and was laying neglected on his lap. Yoongi asked about Guwon in a hushed voice, because while you were living in a reverse harem with most of his brothers, he was genuinely curious about your boyfriend-to-be.

Maybe it was the fact he has never admitted his affections for you that made it comfortable to discuss topics you could never talk about with the others with him, but you let your tongue a little loose.

And he listened.

Yoongi has always been a man of action not words, his love language has always been opening water bottles, blankets appearing from nowhere when you're passed out on their couch, and listening attentively. Despite what the world says about his nonchalance and silence, in your eyes, he's the sweetest guy on the roster—not that you'd tell Jimin that of course, he'd riot if he were to find out.

By the end of the concert, Guwon asks you on an impromptu date. A simple late night walk on a market nearby because there's apparently a food fair, and as usual, the expenses are on him. Hungry with a principle of never turning down free food, of course you accepted. 

Though you had a long time deciding whether to go or not with Jungkook’s confession still fresh.

Minutes later, he's waiting for you by the exit. The scene of him leaning on his Mercedes, waiting for you to reach him at the bottom of the stairs looks like it was pulled out of a kdrama.

Oddly enough, they didn’t question your lack of updates in the group chat but Jimin reached out later on and you suspect he told everyone your whereabouts instead, hopefully minus the date part to spare the others (read: Jungkook) from heartbreak.

The fair looked like a mirage of a paradise in the night hidden away in a small gently-lit up alley. The path was lightened up with gentle lanterns hung above you, the warm colors setting a more intimate scene. It wasn’t as luxurious as dinner from yesterday or as calming as the bike ride around the Han river but you appreciated it nonetheless.

You’re ready to drop dead but you pushed through, you wanted this relationship to work. Because then, maybe the monsters—your mother and her wide selection of personalities as well as aunties, her friends, trying to refer you to their horrible sons—haunting you from under your bed will finally leave you alone.

It was cruel that you’re using someone else to erase the memory of being professed to by one of your best friends.

Guwon was happy enough to take charge the whole date, leading you from food stall after food stall, ordering whatever your eyes lingered at which is half of what the fair offers. He understands your lack of responses as it is, tired from work, and talked enough for the both of you. Which you are grateful for.

He talked about his job and what happened that day, willingly telling you about the story of how he and his co-workers clicked back in College, never to part till now in the field they wanted. He spoke of his dreams, how he envisioned his dream home by the province surrounded by nature and the cat named Nabi waiting for him at home.

There's nothing more blatant of a signal than the last part, whether you accept it or not depends on you.

Normally, you would've frowned at the thought, immediately thinking of running away but as the night deepens and stalls start to close, the idea grows more and more tempting despite the logical voice in your head disagreeing. Seeking a distraction and possibly leading on a kind man is cruel, both to him and you.

But at the end of the day, it’s just an escape from the reality you're stuck in, a temporary answer to a long time problem. 

How harmful can it be? 

People had hookups before, you’ve had hookups before your mother has started a hunt for your husband this year so what are you so reluctant for? 

If this man is to be your husband, you should check your physical compatibility right?

You shivered. God, you sounded like one of those shitty guys you’ve dated before.

"Hey, the stalls just closed. Are you fine with me driving you back to your house?"

His voice cuts through your deep thoughts and you turn to him. Even in the dimly lit corner of the alley, Guwon looked attractive as ever with his dimpled smile and laid back attitude, his soft eyes gleaming under the lanterns, affections overflowing from his gaze and you. shuddered from its weight. 

Staring at the man, you wondered if you'd ever fall in love with him as he seemed right now.

Soon enough, you both arrive in front of your apartment building. However, not every plan goes through as you thought it'd go and you find two familiar figures rushing down to meet you. 

Taehyung didn't hesitate to run up to you with open arms and a wide smile. He didn't even care that you both almost toppled over if it wasn't for Guwon hand supporting you from the back.

"Wh-why are you two here? Shouldn't you guys be resting?"

Jimin shrugged but you caught the mischievous glint in his eyes as a small smile tugs his lips. "Hyung got so worried and wanted us to make sure you got home safely."

"Even a thumbs up would be great but you ignored every text and call! Jin hyung panicked and sent us out, if you didn't come home, he would've had a huge manhunt for you." Taehyung chimed in, pulling away but keeping his hands on your shoulders as he stared deep into your eyes, as if trying to hypnotize you into believing them.

Jimin snickered. “Yoongi hyung was an hour away from declaring you missing so the good dongsaengs we are, we decided to camp outside your apartment.”

You would've accepted his explanation, it was logically sound yet the dark glint of mischief and something else in his eyes as his gaze bounced from you to Guwon told you a different story.

They've always had to interrupt your dates when it becomes sour but this was the first time they've confronted a potential partner outside the intentions of ruining a date because you wanted it to suck.

This was them laying their claim over their own, a silent statement. A declaration you try not to think so much about, fearing you'd dig yourself deep and fall to your death.

“These must be one of your kids?” Guwon asks from behind, reminding you of his presence and you turn to him with an apologetic look.

“Yeah, Taehyung and Jimin. I practically raised them.”

Jimin scoffs and your head snapped to him, widening your eyes in warning to which he ignored. “Just because you’re a year older, doesn’t mean you could say you raised us you know?”

“See what I deal with everyday?” 

Guwon laughs lightheartedly before patting your head to get your attention. “Since your kids are here to protect you, I should get going now.”

“Drive safely.”

“See you soon?”

“Definitely.”

Then he placed a haste kiss on the edge of your lips, catching you off guard and you froze. Guwon was already in his car by the time you realized what happened and turned to chastise him. You couldn't even knock on the passenger window when the arms coiled around your shoulders tightened and tugged you close.

Letting Guwon kiss you in front of one of the men who confessed to you once was the first mistake, second was looking up at Taehyung whose hug is starting to hurt.

Gone were the usual giddiness and child-like enthusiasm that would pour from his eyes. It was replaced by a colder glare, almost blank and emotionless as it narrowed behind you and jaw locked tight. There was something primal in the way his hand behind your head was pushing you closer to him as if he was hounding over his game from another predator.

Goosebumps prickled your skin awake.

If butterflies exploded in your stomach and ignited a molten heat in your abdomen at that very moment, it's a secret you’d take to your grave.

“Tae?”

“Noona, I think we should head inside. It's getting cold.” Jimin’s sweet voice sounded forced and you resisted the urge to look at him.

While their reaction to being challenged is obvious, you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why he should feel like that when he’s been seeing other people since his confession. From your past dates where he attended as one of your escape plans, he’s  never expressed such an intense show of displeasure so you thought his fleeting crush had passed.

Until tonight.

When Taehyung pulled away, the traces of his hostility were gone and you had to double take at how vastly different he's appearing now. He has his lower lip pushed out into a pout, eyes wide with mirth as he reaches up to cup your cheeks, his warm palms heating your cold-nipped skin.

“Aigoo, you're so cold noona. Let's go in and binge that foreign show you've been following.”

With hands now intertwined, he leads you inside the building where Jimin was already standing inside and was holding the door open for you both. You were being tugged into your own home yet you couldn’t help but feel tense as Taehyung and Jimin welcomed you back in with the same dark look you saw earlier.

[yellow-yarrow]

director's commentary for this post (lmao) because I like yapping

the reason why I choose these artworks is not just because they looked good, I thought it was interesting how they treat colors, light and rot

Damien Hirst's Black Sun is made of many dead flies, people have said that this artwork smells gross up close. Its theme is obviously death and disgust (like most of his works), he has also said the flies represent people, and quotes Hobbes saying that people's life without a government is bad and tragic (which I HEAVILY disagree with)

Hirst sells his works for millions of dollars, it's highly commercialized, some have accused him of money laundering and such. Insert the Wompty-Dompty Dom Centre thought:

Problem It's Wednesday evening and something heinously exciting is under way. People have gathered beneath the billowing roof of an oddly shaped trophy building, sipping wine and exchanging opinions. 29-year-old wunder-twins Guy and Keith Joost are the stars of the show, with their bomber jackets and white sneakers -- head curators of this art exhibition. It's the wompty-dom-di-dommiest event of the year and all the cool kids have RSVP’d. Where are you, if you are not there? Solution You're at home, stupid cop, not with the art crowd. You hate them, everyone hates them, even they hate themselves. It's nauseating -- an industry built on sprezzatura and sparkling wine. And, let’s be honest, tax evasion schemes. The Wompty Dompty Dom Centre is the heart of this unholy symbiosis of esthetics and tax optimization, and now that you've internalized it – you can have a piece too!

personally, for me, it invokes disgust both on an aesthetic level (dead flies) and in a conceptual level (rich guy using death to make millions). Tieing this into black being the color of money in Elysium, and the end of the world.

Malevich's Black square is a painting without an object, it doesn't represent the material world, it is independent of it. but at the same time, black is the density of matter in the white empty space.

He said this about this art: "[Black Square is meant to evoke] the experience of pure non-objectivity in the white emptiness of a liberated nothing." "It is from zero, in zero, that the true movement of being begins." (x) ‘In the year 1913, trying desperately to free art from the dead weight of the real world, I took refuge in the form of the square.’ (x)

Important context for this work (like many other black paintings) is that it was made around the time of the world wars, and the russian revolution. Black paintings express the trauma of the world wars, and in this case the revolutionary approach to art too.

quoting from the article I linked:

Malevich had been collaborating with the musician Mikhail Matyushin and the poet Aleksei Kruchenykh on a manifesto which called for the rejection of rational thought. They wanted to overturn the established systems and hierarchies of Western society. Together with poet Velimier Khlebnikov they staged Victory over the Sun, where the characters aimed to abolish reason by capturing the sun and destroying time. The libretto used Kruchenykh’s zaum – a new language of sounds that had no meaning. This sparked something in Malevich.

Similar things apply to White on white. The Moma website describes it better than I would:

[Malevich] "wanted White on White to create a sense of floating and transcendence. White, Malevich believed, was the color of infinity and signified a realm of higher feeling, a utopian world of pure form that was attainable only through nonobjective art. Indeed, he named his theory of art Suprematism to signify “the supremacy of pure feeling or perception in the pictorial arts”; and pure perception, he wrote, demanded that a picture’s forms “have nothing in common with nature.” In 1918, soon after the Russian Revolution, the connotations of this sense of liberation were not only aesthetic but also social and political. Malevich expressed his exhilaration in a manifesto one year later: “I have overcome the lining of the colored sky. . . . Swim in the white free abyss, infinity is before you.”

These molding fruits made out of gemstones by Kathleen Ryan make me think of Damien Hirst's bedazzled Skull artwork, decadence, kitsch, death. The gemstones make the mold feel like it has value, importance, like it's almost sacred. The pale as a "sacred and terrible smell"

Rothko's paintings heavily empathize colors, paintings like these invite us to really experience those colors and be moved by them.

From the Disco Elysium artbook:

Eyes are direct, unmediated input to the brain. You like or dislike something before you have a chance to reason about it. It affects you emotionally without offering you a chance to throw up intellectual defenses first. Witnessing death and good art are materially equivalent experiences: they are visual information transmitted straight to the centers of emotion by way of the eye. This might explain why a person could tear up in the presence of a Rothko painting. If you’re a sensitive enough instrument, seeing his Orange, Red, Yellow in real life feels intense. It doesn’t work on a computer screen though, you’re just staring at some bright pixels imitating the appearance of the painting the same way seeing a dead person is different from seeing a picture of a dead person.

El Lissitzky was also an important figure in russian avant-garde, like Malevich. Well. I put this one in here cause it looked nice and because of the theme of light and the lack of (it's a gelatin silver photograph).

maybe this adds something to the discussion of the symbolism of colors and light in Elysium

[athena5898]

Given the nature of my blog at this point, i tend to shy away from posting about media stuff. Buuuuut I think there are a lot of younger people experience this slightly "political" dude bro phenomenon so I kind of want to walk them through it. So Dawntrail the most recent ff14 expansion. Is actually pretty good. Now if you listen to some aspect of the community you are going to get some other........."perspectives" on that. Dawntrail is flawed, of course it is. This is the expansion that would have been in development during mid to post 2020 AND it's the expansion that needed to come around after Enwalker to build up the new story. Endwalker that spent YEARS building up to a climatic finish. What does this have to do with the first paragraph? Well, I'll tell you.

Dawntrail focuses on the story of a coming of age of a nontraditionally feminine woman lead Wuk Lamat (who is voiced by a trans voice actor) and we, the heroes of the world, are now going to help and take a back seat to this person. Who she and the entire expansion is based on Indigenous people from various parts of "America" so you know, they should be front a center and our out-of-town asses *should* take a seat in the back (some of you will read this and immediately go "oh that's why it's getting extra hate") If you do not know and was lucky enough to not be a woman or non cis het white male in the 90s trying to play video games or enjoy nerd culture....All of what I just stated is a big problem. Dude bros as I like to call them, (aka someone who you will always be curious if they were or would be part of Gamer Gate. Also please note a dude bro doesn't have to be a man...trust me on that) hate this kind of shit. They naturally feel threatened when the media's focus is not about them. So what do they do? They take legitimate criticism of something and BLOW IT THE FUCK UP. Suddenly that thing that was kinda annoying, is now just the fucking worst. A story beat drags on a little long? Worst media ever. A character has a minor plot hole? Worst media ever. dialogue a little blah at one point? Worst media ever. etc etc etc These are the same kinda people mind you who will write a 8 page essay how (insert average mid action movie here) is the most amazing masterpiece of a film. (which I don't really care about, but it shows that these people are not exactly the most objective purveyors of media arts as they like to claim to be when it's suddenly about their misogyny and white supremacy) I'm bringing this up cause I'll notice some well meaning people being confused saving things "well...I kinda get *this* part of the criticism but...not this other stuff. Why is it a big deal" or some version of this. They don't actually care that much, they just care that an Indegenous GNC cat woman is getting more screen time then their precious gods gift to Eorza WoL. If they had made this expansion about a white guy or our WoL and it wouldn't of gotten nearly the same level of backlash. People will disagree with me, but I'm sorry this is just a fact. And because this is the reading comprehension website, no it's not bad to dislike Dawntrail. No it isn't bad to think a character is annoying. But the patterns are there and the chances of this JUST being about the real issues is just fucking zero. You dont' spend that much time complaining about ONE character as the focus if it isn't about the bullshit dude bro gamer pride. Honestly given how fucking gay this game is I have no idea how these people play this game without burning up like a vampire touching sunlight ALSO...I'm a ex wow player who played that game for the story (I was 14, give me a break) from BC all the way up to 7.2. So I kinda know what i'm talking about when it comes to toxic dipshit gamer behavior *looks back at that last paragraph* god that's so fucking sad. Oh fun fact, according to Wuk Lamat's voice actor Sena Bryer, all voice acting for the new area in Dawntrail was given to Latino/Indigenous voice actors for every single character. (from this area of course) *edit* lol yeah anyone saying i'm wrong is just a fucking grifter or liar. Found this while looking something else up. You know it's bad when the god damn director has to step in and say "yo you little assholes cut it out" https://www.pcgamesn.com/final-fantasy-xiv-a-realm-reborn/naoki-yoshida-wuk-lamat

[cyberstudious]

A Beginner's Guide to Learning Cybersecurity

I created this post for the Studyblr Masterpost Jam, check out the tag for more cool masterposts from folks in the studyblr community!

(Side note: this post is aimed towards the technical side of security, rather than the governance/management side, because the tech stuff is what I'm familiar with.)

Where do I start?

Cybersecurity is a specialization of general tech & therefore builds on some concepts that you'll need to know before you can dive deep into security. It's good to have a background in and understand:

how computers & operating systems work

how to use Linux

computer networking & basic protocols

If you're serious about learning cybersecurity, it can be helpful to look at certifications. Even if you don't want to get certified or take the exam (they can get expensive), they provide you with a list of topics that you can use to guide your self-study. And if you want to find a job, a certification is practically required for getting your foot in the door.

I personally recommend the CompTIA series of certifications, because they're well-recognized and I think they expose you to a good breadth and depth of material to get you started. Start with the A+ certification if you have zero tech background. Start with the Network+ certification if you've never taken a networking course. Once you get your basic computer and networking knowledge down, then you can jump into security. The Security+ is a good starting point.

Do I need to know how to code?

No, but it would be really really helpful. You don't have to be a skilled software engineer, but understanding the basics and being able to write small scripts will give you a solid foundation.

From Daniel Miessler's post How to Build a Cybersecurity Career:

You can get a job without being a programmer. You can even get a good job. And you can even get promoted to management. But you won’t ever hit the elite levels of infosec if you cannot build things. Websites. Tools. Proofs of concept. Etc. If you can’t code, you’ll always be dependent on those who can.

How do I gain skills?

Play Capture the Flag (CTF) games.

Stay up to date with security news via an RSS reader, podcasts, or whatever works for you. Research terms that you're unfamiliar with.

Watch conference talks that get uploaded to YouTube.

Spin up a VM to practice working with tools and experiment on your own computer.

There are lots of brilliant, generous people in cybersecurity who share their knowledge and advice for free. Find their blogs, podcasts, and YouTube channels. Look for local meetups in your area.

I'm still relatively new to the field, but I have a general knowledge of lots of different things, so feel free to send me an ask and I can probably help point you to some resources. We're all in this together!

Previous Cybersecurity Masterposts

An Introduction to Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity Book Masterpost

Free Cybersecurity Learning Resources Masterpost

Masterpost of Study Tips for Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity Tools Masterpost

Thank you so much to everyone who participated in the #StudyblrMasterpostJam this week! It was wonderful to see what other studyblr folks are passionate about. The jam technically ends today but there are no official rules, so if you've been thinking about writing a masterpost, this is your sign!

[goldkirk]

Places I’ve successfully used my rollator so far

• some of the sidewalks, not all, and they’re usually not equal quality on both sides of the street if sidewalks even exist on a street at all

• Target (except the numbers inside the elevator don’t at all match the numbers of the floors in the shopping center? They’re off by like 3 in any direction? So that went wrong the first couple of times, and it wasn’t just me who hit the wrong floor lol). I was able to get everywhere but some areas were tight maneuvering and I caught my wheels on edges. Idk how people get through those spots on the borrow-able scooters that are wide and long

• QFC. No notes. Zero issues using the rollator there or in its parking lot. Thanks QFC

• the construction zone detour, which led through some spots with no curb cuts and also narrowed sidewalks in places due to fencing and equipment

• Barnes and Noble, which was fully accessible and had a surprisingly huge elevator (I assume for loading book carts and pallets from the shipment-receiving basement level or something)

• the creek walk outside the retirement community that’s wide and fully paved with even smooth concrete. Delightful except for that one guy who stared directly in my eyes for the whole seven seconds I walked into and out of his view from his living room (I assume?) window while I kept checking to see if he was in fact still staring me down. Like what do you think I’m doing that requires you to watch without even a break. Do you think I’m gonna rob you or something just because I’m doing something weird for my age dude

• the intersection by my apartment building. yeesh. Those crosswalks are bad on foot so it was an extra-rattle-y ride with the rollator (but less work thab crossing without it!)

Places I need to try using it still

• the Light Rail, I just am waiting till I need to use it to run an errand next

• the bus system, I already need to run an errand via it but I cannot for the life of me find an answer to what you’re supposed to do if you’re not specifically in a wheelchair but you’re using a wheeled device that’s bigger than a tiny wire mesh rolling shopping bin. So at this point I’m just hoping and praying for a minimally full bus when I do go and a bus driver who can tell me if I need to strap it in or fold it or just hold it or what. Like it’s not a wheelchair or a baby stroller. What are the rules. What is the expectation. I have searched websites and YouTube and Reddit and tumblr and I still haven’t found an answer 🥴.

• Eliott Bay Book Company. This place has internet sites saying it’s wheelchair accessible. I’m confused. I haven’t seen an elevator in it and there’s steps to get in and steps to get up to the second floor and the aisles seemed like some of the corners might be hard, and impossible when it’s crowded. I have doubts. I’d love to find a secret elevator or something but I can’t find the information anywhere on their actual website or Yelp or whatever, it just says “accessible” sooo?

• Parks. I need to figure out which parks are passable with a rollator and which trails or paths are too narrow for it.

• the library. I know it’s accessible already, so it should be simpler than many places. they’re still dealing with that ransomware attack though so I’m not using them frequently aside from though Libby rn

• Pike Place Market. Internet says it’s accessible. my personal experience says I’m willing to be surprised and I’ll be happy if I do see full accessibility. But also that I’ve had a hard time navigating that place when it’s not like, empty, just on two feet soooooo. I’m guessing it’s going to be very hit or miss despite there being some elevators just because of tight areas and weird floor changes and stuff. I do hope I’m pleasantly shocked though when I go!

• the craft store. any craft store. I need yarn and I haven’t been able to make my mind up about it so I need to just go in a store and physically experience the yarn skeins and choose. I don’t expect to have issues there but it might be an adventure in terms of bussing and walking over lol, we’ll see

[pancakeke]

does anyone have experience confronting their employer about your responsibilities getting wildly out of sync with your job title? my title is supply chain analyst but more than 50% of my work is not supply chain related at all anymore. I'm being treated mostly as a data analyst. data analyst salaries are 10% higher than supply chain analysts salaries in my area plus there are many more job opportunities for data analysts. I want a title change.

also does anyone have experience writing a resume when your responsibilities are not related to your title? should I just say I'm a data analyst because that's the work I'm doing or is there some special section I can add noting secondary work as an unofficial data analyst. there is other shit I do very often too that is barely related to either role.

anyone who has been following me for a while is gonna think I'm sooo late to this realization but it's getting pretty clear to me that my workplace is not going to stop pushing me into roles that I'm not appropriately compensated for, and because these roles are not official I will never receive any support, even when I explicitly request it. I have already been denied support multiple times.

this isn't just random people asking me to do one-time odd jobs either. our COO, CFO, and multiple directors ask me directly to do shit like investigate errors in our website and its tools to uncover what is causing data to display incorrectly. this is to shift labor off our web dev team and onto me, why us paid way less than a developer. I do NOT know ANY programming, I just know the database. this has happened five or six times now.

I also manage customer issues directly with the customers because our sales team does not appropriately train anyone in their department. I create orders for them too because they can not be trusted to enter them (not because they're untrained, but because they were not entering these intentionally). I provide records and reporting for accounting audits. I build weird calculators and generators in Excel for every department except two (IT and web dev) because those two can't justify devoting time to those projects and integrating them into our site. I create extremely weird queries to trace information that out database does not track appropriately (and this will never be fixed).

there are zero docs for anything I do except the ones I personally wrote, and only very limited notes scattered around. I was never trained and only picked sql and stuff up cause when I was a buyer digging into data helped me solve problems more efficiently. I have been begging web dev to tell me when they update anything because they keep breaking extremely serious tools but they have been ghosting me entirely. literally all they have to do is CC me on update emails but they won't do it.

also there isn't anyone else in the company who is proficient in sql and stuff (outside dev, and they're miles above me) to back me up so if I'm overloaded or need other help I'm shit out of luck. this makes taking PTO a fucking nightmare too because I'm always in the middle of helping someone out of a fucking fire and everyone does that shit where they say I can take PTO any time I want without worrying but then constantly assign me with critical tasks and demand results asap.

It is beyond time for me to be realistic about this job and what I want to do with myself 40 hours a week until I die, so I need to start working toward either making my current situation more tolerable or going elsewhere.

[hoursofreading]

When I helped start a website almost a decade ago, I didn’t know anything about how to do it, but I knew that at the very minimum I could wake up early as hell. (That website is now closed, however, so, grain of salt.) At the time, the early-morning routine stuck, immediately, in part because it felt good (I felt as if I were inhabiting a secret world), and in retrospect I’m kind of stunned by how many problems something so simple did actually solve. I didn’t know how to manage people or my own time, or how to handle almost any of the new responsibilities I had, but giving myself what felt like more than enough time to look at them turned out to be basically all I needed. Sort of, anyway. Here’s my rationale: First of all, almost no one is awake then, so you can quietly and without being judged just get a bunch of stuff done. Also, no one is trying to get in touch with you (and although it wasn’t relevant then, a major factor now is that you don’t have to be on Slack). You can do all the little tasks that are otherwise not crucial but that weigh over you like a nuisance cloud all day as they build up, such as getting to in-box zero, scanning feeds, pursuing internet rabbit holes without needing to account for yourself, or spending hours pinning down a detail that almost no one else will ever notice. Or whatever it might be. You can keep your brain in a sort of primal mode. It’s as if the “talk to people / get dressed / be presentable” mode isn’t on yet, and you’re almost a different person — even a little reptilian. Also, of course, waking up early gives you a surge of power; you feel superior, smug. It’s also kind of like being vegan — I’m pretty sure there’s no one I talked with back then who I didn’t tell in some way, as quickly as possible, that I got up at 5 a.m. Back then I also felt a little flicker of knowing that such an extreme routine can’t last forever (I’m trying to pick it back up now, but there were years when it seemed unnecessary), so I kind of relished it. Warranted or not, the early-morning routine gave me a vague but real sense of buying points for my later-sleeping self in the future, and of maybe even compensating for past laziness. Oh, and despite it being a very private, solitary time, getting up crazy early also feels a little like joining a club. One that never actually meets but whose members nod at one another across space and time. When I dated someone who got up at 8 a.m., but was otherwise successful and accomplished, I was kind of scandalized and would experience moments of self-doubt. Is the core of my approach to problem-solving not required? This is all obviously much easier to do when you don’t have a lot else going on, such as children. But in my experience, waking up obscenely early allows you to wear two hats, and the wearing of the first one allows for a much more peaceful wearing of the second one, if that makes sense. In times of stress, my early-morning self makes the day more pleasant for my regular self.

It’s Astounding How Many Problems Can Be Solved Just by Waking Up Early

[shdwtouch]

MUN MONDAY: GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: my alias is Puffin, folks can call me Selkie tho. both work, I use both, so I'm not particularly picky either way ! whichever folks prefer.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: anything ! they/she/he, though I default to she/they.

MUSE NAME: I've got two kiddos, Shade and Kaey ! Kaey is my older muse, I've been writing him since 2012, while Shade is a newer edition to my collection of ocs. I love them both, they're both my literal children at this point.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: Discord please ! tumblr IMs are just... I lose track of them very easily, probably because they're not like. right in front of me / always where I can see them. whereas in Discord I can keep track of folks and conversations much easier. in general, I just feel more comfortable discussing via Discord. its also good for roleplay, if folks are okay with that ! but yeah, Discord all the way.

EXPERIENCE: I have been roleplaying since I was... I literally just confirmed, at least 10 years old. I started out on forums. ever heard of Chicken Smoothie ? its a pet adoptable website, and where I really got into roleplay. from there I was introduced to tumblr by a friend, discovered tumblr rp, and... I've been here ever since. that was back in 2012; I was just about to turn 13, and I'm currently just about to turn 25, so. I've been here awhile. been writing and roleplaying for over half my life at this point.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I'm partial to casual discussion style roleplay, but I also really love just. writing. so. it may take some time to get me in the proper headspace to sit down and write, but its always satisfying to be able to. however, casual discussion style is more accessible, definitely. just easier and quicker. but I will always value writing and reading solid threads, solid interactions. seeing it come together, getting excited about it... its what I love about roleplay, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, even if other things are easier or faster. nothing good comes easy, or so they say, right ? idk. I'm old-fashioned I guess.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: oof, lets see. immediate dealbreakers: no trigger or nsfw tags (especially if there is nothing that says there won't be; I can understand some blogs preferring not to tag if its standard content), no rules or about, posting callouts and witch hunting behavior (ESPECIALLY if its just interpersonal or petty grievances, I have ZERO tolerance for this). pet peeves... I'm pretty chill. just treat me with respect, communicate with me like an adult, and we'll be fine.

PLOTS OR MEMES: yes ? but like, logically speaking... memes are more likely to happen with me than plots, cuz I'm slow and struggle with that kind of pressure. so memes are probably the best way, yeah. but low / no pressure casual discussion ? vibing until we figure something out ? sign me the fuck up !

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: another yes. it really depends, I feel like I fall somewhere in the middle. a couple short paragraphs is my default, but I know for some folks thats considered long, and for others still short. so. I'm dynamic. I'll admit that I'm wordy, I like fleshing out interactions with thoughts and actions when I can, so I would say I'm probably more inclined to long style. I know I've started a few short dialogue threads then ended up getting 1+ paragraph responses, so. but I also don't expect my partners to match length ! idc if other people write short replies, so long as I have something to build off of. "yes, and" rules and all that !

BEST TIME TO WRITE: when the world is dark and sleeping. or when the moon aligns with my medication and energy levels. so... mostly at night. I get a lot of stuff done in the dark of night; I don't feel like I'm being perceived by my family so I feel free to move around and do more tbh. less distractions, too.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: yes. not intentionally, but yes. Shade moreso than Kaey, but Kaey and I still have similarities. I think most writers bleed into their work somehow, and I don't think its something to be ashamed of. for me its. I write and create to cope, right ? so having characters I can relate to, that I can see myself in, helps me... feel better about things. like, if Shade and Kaey can do stuff then I can to ! plus, I won't lie, seeing myself in my muses also helps for introspection. I genuinely feel like I've been able to become a better person by acknowledging my similarities and learning from them, whether through interaction or otherwise. and, of course, the reverse is also true: I learn a lot about Kaey and Shade by exploring my own identity and perspective and how I interact with the world and others.

tagged by: no one, I stole it tagging: @triinitas @anishael @starlixir @asangel @p-aladin @bloodyarn @bloodtwin @elliscousland @kurjaks @never-surrender

[unforth]

@ltleflrt in reply to your comment, I can only think that the people who say "this would be cool if it were real" are either very young or just extremely isolated/insulated and have never had the kinds of experiences that sound totally batshit impossible except that like. They literally happened to me.

When I was in grad school, I hit it off with a woman, like, we really got along and were well on our way to being besties within a few weeks of knowing each other. The first time I was over at her house, it came up that she went to the same undergrad as my brother, and I mentioned that he ran the radio station there. She gave me this look, went to a pile of papers on her table, flipped through it and produced a photograph of her standing with my brother. She and her friends had done a radio drama. They'd celebrated at the end by taking a pic with the station manager. This was a normal thing for her to do. Her then going to the same grad school as me was a coincidence, us both being gamers was a coincidence, us meeting was a coincidence, and the series of coincidences culminated in me holding this goddamn picture of the woman I'd just met, two strangers, and my brother.

When I was living in NYC, I gave up my seat to a stranger on the bus. She was elderly, and using a walker, and she started to talking to me cause I'd initiated by offering the seat. "Oh, see that building over there? My son used to be a teacher there," she says, using something she can see out the bus window as a conversation starter. "Oh," I reply. "That's where I went to elementary school." Because we're in the neighborhood where I grew up, and yes, I went to school there. "What are the chances...?" we both muse. "Nonexistent," she says. "He only taught for a few years. He's in Florida now. It didn't work out for him." "I mean...we could see...the odds are tremendously low but you never know and wouldn't it be cool...?" And yes this woman's son was my fourth grade teacher. The odds that I'd meet a random person on the bus, then get to talking, then find out that we had a connection, were fucking millions to one, but it actually happened to me.

Whenever I see a really unlikely story on this website, I remember that if I pulled out the most exceptional, weird, out-there stuff that's happened to me, it'd sound absolutely impossible. So, I give people the benefit of the doubt that their hand-selected-from-their-entire-lives anecdote that sounds nigh impossible could actually have happened. Why should I doubt it? If I took either of the above stories out of context the "oh I'm so clever I know this must be fake and made up for (why?????)" crowd would jump on it as Not Real! Made up! But I have no reason to make up a story like that. I get zero benefit. Tumblr clout isn't a real thing, and if it were I sure as fuck don't have it. I think I've had five posts break 1k notes in my entire decade on this website.

I'd rather just believe people. It's so much easier. If they are lying, that's on them.

So when I get a "this must be internet fake" reply on something much LESS outlandish than the above - people doubting that my mother...is a real person? who likes fan things? who might talk about sex??? - I'm really just completely baffled.

Like look, my mom will turn 79 later this year. She was 6 when Isaac Asimov (who my grandfather knew, by the way, speaking of outlandish unlikely scenarios) finished writing the Foundation series. She was 10 when the Lord of the Rings came out. She went to Cornell when she was 16 and tells me stories about the young dude nerds who loved LotR so much that they carried their copies around campus. Those guys would be 80 now. They were geeks before many of the people on this website's parents were born. Mom had just turned 22 when Star Trek: The Original Series started airing. She was hooked immediately and watched the whole series, and the movies, and took me to Star Trek 4 as my first movie theater experience (I was almost 4), and watched ToS in syndication, and loved sci-fi and Murder She Wrote. When I asked her, "do you ship Spirk?" she looked at me like I'd grown a second head, cause she had no idea what I meant, but when I asked her, "do you think that Spock and Kirk were a couple?" she also looked at me like I'd grown a second head, because fucking duh.

It's not a myth that fandom existed before us, before the internet, before our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents were born. Some ancestor of mine squeed over the newest Jane Austen chapter (change locality based on origin, but the idea stands). Their ancestor got weak in the knees over Tom Jones. Go back enough generations and someone was fanboying over Euripides (that's a lie, I'm not Greek). But the point stands.

Fandom isn't new.

And don't even get me started on sex. I shouldn't have to explain to literally anyone ever born that sex isn't new. Where the fuck they think babies come from?

I just. This idea that anyone comes onto Tumblr.com to lie about their real lives is fucking bizarre. Just relax and believe people. What's the damn harm???

[nocodesenpai]

I got accepted into Saddle's Developer Challenge two weeks ago, a moment I genuinely never saw coming. Because compared to the other applicants, I have literally zero work experience. 🥹

Before the challenge, I thought my hopes were slim, but now, after having completed it, I'm at a loss for words. I saw a Webflow expert had applied—his application boasted proudly on his LinkedIn, no less.

He's a great guy, really, but with competition like that, I might as fold up my dreams of joining the agency into my expanding luggage of disappointments. The good thing is, there isn’t just one winner. The not-so-good news is, he’s probably not the only expert that's applied. I saw that two contestants wrapped up their entries on day one, while I, your beloved, scrambled to finish the night before the deadline. And if we're counting time zones, technically it was the morning of the deadline.

Since I don't know their selection criteria, I’m clinging to the hope that the same spark they saw in me to invite me to this challenge will light my way to the finals. I just pray breeze doesn't blow 🥹. And if I must say so myself, I am a pretty great website builder. Sure, I might not build everything from scratch or write custom code, but hand me a component library and some clonable templates, and just watch what I can do. If it sounds easy, do ittttttt 😂

Results are due at the beginning of June, Insha'Allah. Wish me good luck, Charlie!

[enigmalea]

Why I Contributed to FujoGuide

If you follow me here or mastodon you may have noticed that I've been reblogging/boosting a lot of posts for something called The Fujoshi Guide to Web Development (@fujowebdev). There's a good chance you followed me or know me from the Dragon Age fandom where I run communities, events, and zines and write fanfic, and you might be wondering why the sudden and drastic departure from my normal content. Why would a writer contribute to something related to webdev? Why have you stopped seeing thirst for Dragon Age characters and started seeing… whatever a FujoGuide is?

The answers to those questions (and more!) are below the cut.

My Coding Journey

I wrote my first lines of code in 1996 (yes, I'm old AF). It was the early days of the internet and tutorials for how to make your own websites were literally everywhere. You couldn't go more than two clicks without finding a how-to written in plain language. But it was painstaking and tedious. CSS didn't exist yet (literally, I started coding about six months before it was released) and even when it appeared it wasn't widely adopted or supported.

It was the "glory days" of Geocities, Myspace themes, Neopets, and Livejournal. If there was a cool site, you could use HTML and/or CSS to customize it. I honed my skills by coding so many tables character profiles for RPs, creating themes, painstakingly laying out user info pages, and building my own site.

Gradually, things changed. Web 2.0 showed up with locked down profiles and feeds you couldn't customize, free website hosts became more difficult to find, and point and click page builders became the way of the web. Shortly after, I took a long break from fandom; frustrated and disappointed with site closures, lost communities, and general fandom wank… it felt like it just wasn't worth it anymore.

I eventually came back, and when I did it meant customizing themes, figuring out how to create tools for my communities, coding tumblr pages (and learning they're not really supported on mobile), and looking at automations for my common tasks. One day, I woke up and thought, "I'm going to make a Discord bot… it can't be that hard."

So, I did it.

An Unexpected Friendship

About a month after I launched my bot to the public, I received a random Discord message from @essential-randomness. A friend had told her about my bot, and she was working on BobaBoard which needed volunteers. I was shocked. First, people were talking about my bot. Second, I wasn't a real coder. I didn't know anything! I just googled a bunch of stuff and got something working. I had no idea what I was doing.

She assured me it was okay. She was willing to teach me what I didn't know - and most of all, that she wanted my help. I took a day or two to think it over, and fatefully filled out the volunteer form. I didn't know if I could be useful or how I could be useful, but I wanted to try.

Programming Is Awful

In the years months that followed, I spent a lot of time in @essential-randomness' DMs complaining about programming… at least once I realized she wouldn't judge me. I was still very much doing things the hard way, taking hours to update a site to add a single link on all the pages. I knew there were easier methods, but I either couldn't find them or once I found them, they were filled with dense jargon which was terrifying.

"An all-in-one zero-javascript frontend architecture framework!" Is that even English? "A headless open-source CMS." Cool. Sounds good. "A full-stack SSG based on Jamstack extending React and integrating Rust-based JS." Those sure are words. With meanings. That someone knows. Not me, though.

I spent so much time looking at what sites claimed was documentation and losing my mind because I had no idea where to even start most of the time. With @essential-randomness' encouragement, I kept at it, experimenting with new things, and jumping in headfirst even when I had no idea what I was doing. And I was so glad. Where I used to struggle keeping one website updated, last year I managed to deploy and update 7 websites. Yeah, you read that right. It was amazing.

The new stuff made it all much, much easier.

An Idea Is Born

Meanwhile, we spent hours discussing why it was difficult to get fandom to try coding. Part of the barrier was the belief you must be some sort of genius or know math or that creative/humanities people can't do it. It is also partially coding communities being unfriendly to newbies and hobbyists; a culture which often thrives on debasing people's choices, deriding them for not understanding, and shouting rtfm (read the fucking manual) and lmgtfy (let me google that for you)- all of which are unhelpful at best and humiliating and abusive at worst. The tech dudebro culture can be unforgiving and mean.

The number of coding-based Discords I've left far outnumbers the ones I've stayed in.

We determined what fandom needed was a place for coders of all skill levels to come together to help and support one another; where they could learn to code and how to join open-source projects they love, and where they could make friends and connections and show off their projects whether they were new or experienced programmers.

And thus… Fandom Coders was born.

What About FujoGuide?

Of course, running a coding group and working on BobaBoard together means we spent a lot of time talking about the state of the web. We both lamented over poor documentation, jargon-rich tutorials, and guides which assume a baseline of knowledge most people don't have. What we needed to do was provide tutorials which start at the beginning… from the ground up (what is a terminal and how do I open it?) without skipping steps. What we needed to do was make those tutorials fun and appealing.

I don't remember exactly the journey it took to get us here if I'm honest. I have no clue who said it first. But I do remember I first started thinking about anthropomorphizing programming languages when we attempted to cast the languages as the Ouran High School boys… and again when I suggested we do a [TOP SECRET IN CASE WE DO IT] group project in Fandom Coders to help people learn about programming.

What I do know is that as last year ended, @essential-randomness became laser-focused on creating our gijinka and moving forward with FujoGuide… and I couldn't say no.

Okay, But… Why Contribute?

To be honest, it's not just that I was around for the birth of the idea. It's ALL of the things in this post - the culmination of three years of frustration trying to figure out what I'm doing with coding, of wading through dense documentation, of wanting to give up before I even start. It's three years of dipping my toes into toxic techbro culture before running away. All added to decades of watching the web become corporate-sanitized, frustratingly difficult to customize, increasingly less fun, and overtly hostile to fans who dare enjoy sexual content.

To sum all of this up, it's the firm belief that we desperately need a resource like this. Something that's for us, by us. Something that builds fans up, instead of tears them down; that empowers them to create for themselves and their communities what no one is creating for them. It is a project I'm deeply passionate about.

And I can't wait until we can bring it to life for you all.

[tuulikkiunelma]

i'm back to my redstone bullshit

so the latest Minecraft snapshots added 2 new redstone blocks, the crafter and the copper bulb. They also added the fantastically useful /tick command from the carpet mod, which is essential for designing quick redstone contraptions.

All of this obviously inspired me to experiment and to make some contraptions (under the cut)

A copper bulb tape-memory concept.

The copper bulb can store a state which can be read by a comparator, and it can also be pushed by pistons. Unlike a similar contraption using other blocks, this can be also pretty easily written into, so that this tape isn't necessarily read-only.

I did not make a tape writer yet. A compact writer requires some design, as bulbs can only be toggled and not simply cleared. However designing one shouldn't be too difficult.

the tape can also be built vertically, of course. reading it compactly is a bit more difficult tho

A copper bulb based decrementing "loop register"

Another great use case for the copper bulbs are small (decrementing) binary counters, which inspired me to make this "loop register" thing. This might be useful as a redstone computer component (which I want to design one day), or when you need to repeat something a specific amount of times.

It has inputs for each bit, for toggling (xor:ing) them, which can be used to fill it with a value after it has been cleared. The other inputs are "Clear", "Invert", and "Decrement Mode".

When set to decrement mode, sending a value to the least-significant bit causes the stored value to decrement by 1. (the other inputs should not be written to when in decrement mode)

As outputs it has the stored value, but I also integrated to this a simple extra output which activates when the stored value is zero, which would indicate that the looping is over.

A simple resource compactor

I haven't played with the new crafter-block that much yet, but I did make this super simple and small thing that compacts items such as coal, metals, redstone, and other materials, into more compactly stored blocks.

It's not particularly fast and it has no protection against putting in wrong kinds of items, in which case it should be manually cleared.

Its pretty survival friendly, but crafting the blocks by-hand is still much faster so I'm not sure why anybody would add this to their base. It might be useful to compact the output of some farm or smth though.

(the crafter on the back is only there to output power-level of 9, and can be replaced with any other block that outputs a 9 from a comparator)

A pretty quick noteblock crafter

I also made this noteblock crafter. It should make noteblocks pretty quickly when supplied by redstone and logs.

I wasted many hours in trying to make it run at double the speed that it runs now, but in the end I gave up since it was too hard to make it function reliably. Besides, nobody needs that many noteblocks that fast, right?

Well at least it was a lesson/refresher on compacting redstone circuits and taught me stuff about how the crafter functions.

Next, I want to try to bring a concept from the factory-building games into minecraft, and build an automated "mall" for redstone components, where the redstone components would be automatically built from the raw materials and supplied to a room with chests.

Idk if I have the energy to make any tutorials on how to build any of these, but I can give the world download or tips if somebody wants them.

(if you wondered why some of the blocks looks different from vanilla, it's because I use a resource pack from the great Vanilla Tweaks website)

[wyrddogs]

Hello!

I am interested in getting my pup involved in a sport* and possibly a breed club. Your posts about that world have helped build the courage I needed to explore this world, so I wanted to ask a few questions.

I've been looking into the breed clubs for my dog, and there are a few large ones, but nothing obvious in my area. I suspect some of these issues are breed related - he's a Pomsky - but am hoping that I'm just not looking effectively. With that in mind, I had two questions for you:

1. How do you vet a breed club? Or, when you are looking at different options, what factors do you take into account?

2. How do you find local clubs? I have tried mostly various Google searches, as well as checking the individual larger associations for local chapters with no luck.

Thank you! I appreciate your time and knowledge. (photo of the boy in question attached)

*We have tried some agility and some scent but haven't committed significant time to either one yet, he is enthusiastic about both. He is enthusiastic about most activities.

What a cutie! Welcome to dogworld!

You didn't say what country you are in, so since I am American, I will answer using American clubs since that is what I am familiar with. People in other countries are very welcome to weigh in.

Also, for full disclosure, I consider myself still a noob in the breed/sport club world. I've been a member of terv club since 2017 and a board member since 2020. I joined dachshund club in 2021 and left at the end of 2022. I've been in an agility club since... 2020? 2019? I'm an honorary member of a racing club but don't pay dues so don't have voting rights. I was in a couple of obedience clubs in 2011/2012 but quit because I find competitive obedience boring. So I don't have tons of experience, but I'll share what I know.

Placing this under a cut because it got long!

If you're interested in joining a breed club, their first goal is going to be the preservation and celebration of the breed. What that means will vary from club to club. Some are focused purely on conformation, others will include sports and/or celebration of the breed's historical use. Some breed clubs only allow members that are active breeders. So that will be something to look into when you're checking them out.

There are also clubs that don't focus on one specific breed and are instead dedicated to one or more sports. It's a great way to get involved with people who enjoy the same activities that you do.

In the US, there are two levels of breed club. There is the national level (example: American Belgian Tervuren Club, or Dachshund Club of America), and then the local clubs (may be by state, county, city, etc.). A good way to find local clubs is by going onto the national club website and seeing if there are any in your state. Depending on the rarity of the breed and the size of the state, there may be zero or more than one. Then you can just use the contact info listed on the website to email the club and ask if you can come to an event.

To find a local sports club, I googled "agility club [city]" to find one close to me. You can go to events that they host to see how they run things.

You can also go onto AKC's website to see what agility (or other sport) events are being held in your area to see what clubs are hosting. If any of the clubs look interesting, you can contact them. (You can also do this for CPE, NADAC, USDAA, etc., and other sports venues.)

Also, never underestimate word of mouth. Talk to your trainer and fellow students about being interested in joining a club. They may have ideas! Go to dog events and talk to exhibitors and workers (when they aren't busy). I have landed every single one of my really good trainers via word of mouth, not google. Recommendations count for a lot. If you're nervous, that's okay! Everyone was new once, and I have found people to be largely super helpful and kind.

For vetting... I don't know. XD I want a tervuren, so I cold emailed terv club and they invited me to a tracking event. They were extremely welcoming and enthusiastic about their breed, and about me joining. The club is very tightly run, with quarterly newsletters, frequent meetings (both in person and via zoom), and a variety of events and fun days every year. Even though I don't have a terv yet, they have featured both Bindi and Kermit in their newsletters, and take an active interest in Kermit's competition career.

I attended a few dachshund club field trials and then applied to join. The club is very poorly run, both passively and actively hostile to new members, and the people are gatekeepy and incompetent. I've been involved in dogworld for over a decade at this point so I am deeply unimpressed. So I left.

So basically all you can do is go to events and see if the people seem like assholes or not. XD And if they are, don't let it get under your skin. The problem does not lie with you; it's with the asshole. For some reason some hardcore dog people (in conformation and in sports) feel threatened by new blood, so they feel like they need to lash out to feel powerful. They are not worth your time.

And even though there are assholes out there, there are also really wonderful and kind people. I've met so many good people through dogs. It might take a bit of searching, but you can find your group. It's worth it.

Good luck! I hope you have fun, and wish you and your buddy the best of luck!

[romcombc]

Book Review for Say It Again

This book is going to be the death of me! I was so engrossed in one chapter that I didn’t realize I had stepped too far to the left on the treadmill and almost fell off! I was drinking hot tea when a well-timed idiom mix-up had me choking. In short, “Say It Again” is funny! It’s not just hilarious, it is so full of emotion that if you are not bent over in laughter, you are fanning your face to keep the tears from streaking your cheeks while reading it in public and receiving sidelong glances.

Daniel Greene has enjoyed the pleasure that dance has offered for over twenty years. The expression, the freedom, the desires one fluid movement can evoke are intoxicating. Unfortunately, despite all that dance has to offer, a sustainable lifestyle and decent income aren’t at the top of the list. Making the most of his life as a dance instructor at St. Louis School of Dance, Daniel ignores the constant whispers of his disapproving father and pours all he has into working with his students. He also tries to avoid his best friend’s off-the-cuff requests to help with her business venture, After The Pumpkin. Failing to avoid her latest request to help at a party, Daniel somehow finds himself behind the bar, with zero bartending experience, staring into the most icy blue eyes he has ever seen. Thrown off his game and feeling foolish, Daniel can’t believe it when the gorgeous lawyer asks him out on a date. Lady Luck doesn’t stop there; his mentor offers him a chance of a lifetime, to buy the dance studio he has loved since he was 18! Unprepared for the sudden turn of events in his life, Daniel must decide if he is ready to grow up and make the most of the sudden gifts coming his way.

Aaron may not have the most conventional job in the world (understatement of the century), but it affords him a comfortable lifestyle and the opportunity to pursue his real passion, interior design. It doesn’t, however, make room for deep, meaningful relationships. So when Aaron encounters Daniel at a house party that he is attending with a client, he can’t believe his luck. Finally, he may have met someone with whom he can build something real. That is until Daniel asks him to review a contract for a potential business deal, seeing that he is a “lawyer” after all. Suddenly, Aaron’s world is turned upside down as he struggles to reveal his true self to Daniel without losing the first person who has completely captured his heart.

I can’t believe this is Tessa Hatfield’s first book! She has come out of the gate strong and I hope she keeps up the momentum. I can’t wait to read what she writes next. Topping this one will be a challenge but with her talent, I strongly believe she can do it!

Available August 20th but you can pre-order your copy now!

Thank you Tessa for allowing me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Check out the spoiler-free review in the Facebook Group - The Romantic Comedy Book Club or the full review on the main website: https://romcombc.com/book/say-it-again/

[vrgarage]

Which Garage Management Software is Right for Me?

Choosing the right garage management software can be confusing in the current market. With so many options, how do you find the one that gets your business running smoothly? Worry not because VR Garage is the perfect fit for all your business needs.

But what makes VR Garage management software stand out?

Effortless Appointment Booking: Simplify scheduling with VR Garage's online appointment system. Customers can book appointments directly, saving you time and keeping your workflow organized.

Customer Management Made Easy: Maintain customer profiles, service history, and communication history with VR Garage's centralized customer management system. Build stronger relationships and personalize the customer experience.

Seamless Billing & Invoicing: Generate invoices quickly and effortlessly with VRGarage's user-friendly interface. Spend less time on administrative tasks.

Real-time Inventory Tracking: See exactly what parts you have in stock, their quantities, and their locations within your garage.

Low-Stock Alerts: Never get caught off guard again. VR Garage automatically alerts you when parts run low, prompting you to reorder before they reach zero.

And many more!!

Visit our website VR Garage to learn more about the features and see how VR Garage can transform your business.