#me? answering an ask in the same night i get it?

[suguann]

✎. he tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.

tags. fem!reader, mild dubcon, possessive and obsessive behavior, but he's also kinda sweet?? [18+ only]

You like your new roommate.

Simon’s surprisingly better to have around than the last person who lived with you—a girl you knew from college who had an affinity for stealing your clothes and conveniently never had money for rent. He’s the type to make you soup when you’re sick, acknowledge you if you’re in the same room, water your flowers while he rolls his cigarettes on the fire escape, and carry your groceries up the four flights of stairs to your floor. 

He’s attractive, too, in the not-so-conventional sense, but in a disarming way, all small smiles and knowing looks and soft hair you know he doesn’t put much effort into—that sometimes curls around his ears when he lets it get too long—yet it still manages to look better than yours on the best days. 

He never tells you what he does for work, and you’re too polite to ask. But you have a feeling he makes enough to afford a place on the less crime-infested side of town—somewhere nicer than your cramped apartment with its outdated appliances, leaky faucets, and the bright neon sign atop the building across the street that shines through your windows all times of the day—but he says he’s not ready to live alone.

Something tells you there’s more to it than him being a lonely bachelor, but again, you don’t pry.

“Does this place have wi-fi?” is all he’d said the first time you meet, in a voice so smooth and only slightly broken up by his accent, clad in a shirt that looked two sizes too small around his arms and clutching a duffle bag in one big hand. 

Your brain was this shaken-up box of words and syllables that when you answered him, it came out in a nervous stutter. “Y-yeah, I’ll, er…I’ll give it to you—the password, I mean—once you've moved in. If that’s okay.”

He’d dropped his duffle bag in front of the room that would be his. “Consider me moved in.”

The smile he gave you, crinkling eyes and chuckling lightly, only made the stutter worse. 

You let his charm roll off you; you always figured it came naturally to him, a characteristic that comes with being attractive and good.

A handful of months later—of finding a routine around each other and lazy smiles in the morning—something changes the night you go out with a guy Mary from work eagerly sets you up with. 

His name’s Robb, he’s a doctor, and you both love cats; he has a house in Spain. Did I mention he's my cousin?

(A dull no way concealed behind your teeth.

If you hadn’t said yes, you feared your entire lunch break would consist of her waxing poetic over a man you're unsure about meeting.)

For a flicker of a moment, there’s an unreadable expression on Simon’s face as he watches you touch up your makeup in the hallway mirror and slip your hand into the crook of your date’s elbow at the door. There’s a slight glint of something uncharacteristically cold behind the mask of indifference before a small smile replaces it.

“Have a nice night,” you throw over your shoulder, except you don’t notice that he never says it back.

You mope around the apartment when Robb—who surprisingly exceeded your expectations of mediocre dates, not that you ever plan on admitting that to Mary—doesn’t reach out to you for three days. Then a week. You’re at that age to understand when people get busy, and a nice night doesn’t always mean it’s mutually reciprocated. But you liked him, and it felt promising after he’d kissed you goodnight against your front door. 

It had to have been the kiss that turned him off. Maybe he realized it was too much too soon.

When Simon finds you curled up in a ball under your comforter, one thumb gently wiping away your tears, he doesn’t even bring up your date. Instead, he orders your favorite take-out and puts on a sitcom you’d mentioned to him once—somewhat surprised that he remembers—the dreamy doctor who’d ghosted you blissfully forgotten with greasy food and a warm, comforting chest to rest your head on.

Simon’s there again—sweets in hand and a soft voice to soothe you—when another date (Rin from finance on your floor) a month later is a no-show, and a few weeks after that when Rin tells you without context that he can’t see you anymore. 

The third time of let downs feels worse. It’s worse because maybe there’s something wrong with you, and when you ask Simon, he’s too nice to rub salt in your wounds. He tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.

You've been Simon's roommate for a year, and he doesn't take it well when you tell him you're looking for a new place.

It’s after he comes home from a three-month work trip. The shadow that crosses over his face should’ve been your first hint that something is wrong.

Had you noticed the signs sooner, you wonder if you’d be less like prey caught by the softness of your underbelly, kept in place by the scruff, and sharp teeth at your neck.

"Beg me. Beg me not to cum in you."

"S-Simon," you whimper wetly, "don't cum in—ah—me."

His fingers hold your chin with an unyielding grip, ensuring your gaze doesn’t stray from his in the cracked mirror. You’re embarrassed by what you see, how spread open you are to his dark, inkwell eyes hungrily watching as you twitch when his other hand slides between your thighs.

"Don’t stop begging, love,” he growls, squeezing you tighter, “or I might forget."

There’s that dark look again, the one that sends a shivery feeling up your spine, possessive almost with how he traces every inch of you as if burning the image of you into his memory, the softness washed away by something more sinister. 

A little voice in the back of your head tells you to flee, but another knows he'd find joy in catching you. 

No one would ever think your sweet, attractive roommate would be the same man staring at you now—everything you thought you knew about him stripped away to reveal a new canvas, bare for splashes of paint to fill in the cracks—teeth marks imprinted along the curve of your jaw, on the inside of your thighs.

He hides it well. His humble personality doing the trick of being the impenetrable mask for what he’s concealing underneath: a raw obsession, an addict finally getting his hands on his favorite drug, someone who can’t recognize defeat and knows how to take.

“What do they have that I don’t? Hm? Must be a desperate little thing. My pretty slut,” Simon’s voice rumbles low against your ear, shy of unhinged. “They won’t treat you as good as I do. Don’t I treat you good?”

You whimper when his grip grows tighter, but he doesn’t seem to notice—like he’s not fully here with you. No trace of the soft, gentle man who keeps the freezer full of your favorite ice cream, who runs to the store when you run out of tampons and comes back with chocolate and a new pair of fuzzy socks. A few words have turned him into someone you don’t know. Perhaps you never did.

“Answer me.”

An indiscernible  squeak is the only sound you make. 

He chuckles darkly, his head dipping down to rest his lips against the fluttering pulse in your neck, a finger slipping through the alarming amount of wetness between your thighs where his cock rends you down the middle, and begins rubbing firm, tight circles over your clit, pulling a moan from your throat. 

“It’s okay, love,” he mumbles, words barely audible above your heartbeat swimming in your ears. “I’ll be everything for you. Everything you need. I’ll show you why I’m better.”

[aakeysmash]

prompt:

sukuna skipping gym to sleep in and later on does his workout in their living room, using her as a weight when doing push ups, may turn heated hehe

college Sukuna's masterlist

turned this into a college!sukuna drabble lmao sorry!! no smut this time, i wanted to elaborate a bit on sukuna's protectivness toward yuuji :)

You're humming a song from your studying playlist when you hear someone knocking at your door. You look at the clock you keep on your desk near a plant Yuuji gifted you last week. On the terracotta vase there's a scribbled note in the obvious handwriting of a child.

To: baby peach, but no more annoying screams when we play, please!

You smile. He always chooses to be baby mario when you play Mario Kart together because he doesn't want you to feel alone in case you're the only baby character. He's such a cute kid, you're lucky to have him as one of your almost-roommates.

You get up (it's still pretty early anyway) and stretch your back, hearing it pop. You open the door, and standing in front of it is the same kid you were thinking about.

"Hey," you wave at him, a happy tilt to your voice. You look at him shuffling and avoiding your gaze.

"Is everything okay, Yuuji?" you start getting worried. He mumbles something you don't hear clearly, so you make him repeat himself. He juts his lip out, then looks straight at your face.

"Can you take me to school please?"

You raise your eyebrows. Usually, this is a big brother kind of duty: where is Sukuna? Yuuji takes your silence as rejection and starts backtracking.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, I can just go alone-"

"Sure, let me grab my purse and we can go," you stop him, changing your expression to one of calmness, ruffling his pink, unruly hair.

"Are you sure it's not a bother?" he asks you hesitantly. "Big bro closed his door and I can't seem to be able to wake him up... and I'm supposed to be accompanied by an adult..."

"It's not a big deal, Yuuji. I'll take you in my passenger seat, okay? We'll be there shortly," you reassure him, nodding.

"Thanks," he says, blushing, giving you one of the biggest smiles you've ever seen him do. Your heart melts a little, and he looks at you like you've physically hung up the sun shining outside.

When you get back home, you're not even able to get to your room when you find yourself being squished between the nearest wall and a hot, rapidly rising and falling chest.

"Where the fuck is my brother?" Sukuna grits out his teeth, breathing down your neck. You wince. He's controlling his strength, but he's still a mountain compared to you, and your ribcage is starting to hurt.

"Get off of me right now or I'm calling the police, Itadori."

He notices he must have been too rough and takes a step back, mumbling an apology while still looking at you menacingly. You pat your clothes, making sure there are no wrinkles before answering him.

"I took him to school. He told me he was being neglected by his own caretaker, so I had to intervene," you shrug.

"He did not say that. He doesn't even know the word neglect," he says, sighing. His shoulders drop and he takes on a more relaxed appearance.

"What's wrong with you? You've never gotten up later than 6 am," you ask him, trying to sound nonchalant, walking toward your fridge to make yourself a toast. The truth is, you're starting to get attached to him. In the last couple of months, you've created some sort of bond, and it's probably also thanks to Yuuji and his stubbornness in making you do things like you're a family. Just last night, he forced you both to make cookies with him because apparently his friend Megumi was coming to play this afternoon and "he wanted to make a good impression".

Sukuna, on the other hand, can be a lot. The majority of the time he nudges you to get you to move out of his way (he just does it to see your annoyed face, but he's not going to tell you that), huffs in your face when you say he hasn't cleaned his dishes from the night before, and flips you off whenever you try to have a civil conversation about who's turn it is to choose the film on Friday night. But he's also pretty attentive. It's not like he makes you notice it, but he does feel bad for you when you get out of your room after an all nighter because of your studies. He thinks you're annoying because you're always trying to pry into his private life, but when you're not home Yuuji always asks of your whereabouts. Yeah, that's definitely why he can't stop thinking about you laughing with the boy he literally raised. The boy whose disappearance was driving him insane this morning.

Because sure, Sukuna tells Yuuji he's a brat 95% of the time, and the kid yaps way too much for his taste. He also manhandles the kid badly, telling him he's way too weak to be called his brother, and more often than not Sukuna tells him he's adopted and that he'll kick him out as soon as he can. But you've seen the way he prepared soup every night when his little brother caught the flu in December—he's just full of shit. He'll never admit how hard it was to raise a brother he didn't want at 13, alone and broke. But he'll make sure the child never doubts of having someone to fall back into like Sukuna did since he was much younger than Yuuji is now.

"Didn't sleep well and I missed the gym," he responds, munching on an apple. You hum in acknowledgment, not turning around from the stove.

"You know that pilates class you suggested to me last week? I found their videos on YouTube. I was thinking of starting them today," you quickly change the topic. You know you won't get more than that; him admitting he didn't sleep well was already a win.

"Wanna start them with me, chipmunk?" he asks you. You turn around to slap his arm slightly.

"I told you to stop calling me that," you say rolling your eyes.

"No."

You whine. "Yes, by the way. I want to see you suffer like the men I see on TikTok."

"Come be my weight and I'll do pilates with you today," he suddenly says. You're biting your toast and you're so caught off guard that you start coughing up crumbles. He hands you a glass of water while telling you you're too fucking dramatic.

"What does it mean to be your weight?" you tentatively ask him when you can breathe properly again.

That's how you find yourself sitting crisscrossed on his back, gripping his shirt as hard as you can, while he does pushups and tries not to laugh every time you scream about him moving too much and almost making you fall.

[mysunshinetemptress]

Snow Angel

Pretty Girls

Leah Williamson x Reader Warnings: Abusive relationship

The following weeks were a tightrope walk for Leah. Every glance from you sent shivers down her spine, every shared practice session felt charged with unspoken desire. Yet, you remained resolutely distant, the playful banter and lingering touches a distant memory. 

It was Arsenal's annual winter gala, with players from both men's and women's joined by their families to celebrate the teams past and present. Forced to sit at the same table together, the tension between You and Leah crackled.

The breaking point came later in the night after dinner when most of the guest's had moved to the dance floor. Alcohol, usually a social lubricant, only served to loosen inhibitions. As the laughter died down, Leah, emboldened by a few glasses of wine, turned to You.

You watched as Evan wrapped his hands around some random girl before turning back to the table only to be met by Leah's stare.

"So, about that night..." she began, her voice barely a whisper.

Your face drained of colour. You quickly turned your head back to the dance floor eyes scanning for Evan.

"Leah please, not here."

Leah let out an annoyed huff, "When then because you do nothing but ignore me."

You reached for her hand squeezing it "Please Le."

Leah looked at you confused at your desperation for her to drop the topic, but just as she opened her mouth to ask Evan wrapped his hand around your upper arm pulling you out of your seat. "Come on babe, dance with me."

You turned back to Leah mouthing later before turning to smile at Evan.

Leah watched, a bitter taste coating her tongue, as you were swept away by Evan's confident grin. The night, once filled with the promise of a resolution, felt like it was crumbling around her.

Across the table, her teammates were lost in their own conversations, oblivious to the storm brewing within Leah. Anger, laced with a fresh dose of hurt, bubbled up. She'd taken a risk, exposed herself, and you'd shut her down again.

As the night dragged on Leah decided she had enough, she was done waiting for you to come to her with an answer.

Spotting you and Evan standing at the bar laughing so happy and care free Leah decided it was now or never.

Ignoring the concerned glances shot her way by her teammates, Leah pushed her chair back from the table with a scraping sound that cut through the chatter. Her heart hammered a furious tattoo against her ribs as she navigated the throng of bodies towards the bar.

Leah grabbed your arm turning you slightly. "We need to talk about that night Y/n, I can't go on like this anymore."

Evan turned looking at you both confused.

"What night, Leah?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

The room held its breath. Leah could back out, pretend it was nothing, but the lie choked her.

"The night at my place," she said, her voice firm despite the tremor in her hands. "The night you, uh, crashed there after the club." Her glare dared Y/n to contradict her.

Y/n's gaze flickered between Leah and Evan, shame and panic warring on her face. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely audible.

"Evan, I..." You couldn't find the words unable to wrap your head around what was happening, Leah was doing this now, to get back at you for ignoring her.

The air hung heavy as your voice trailed off. The revelation hung in the room like a thunderclap, electrifying everyone within earshot. Evan's confusion morphed into a scowl as he looked at you, his hold tightening on your arm possessively.

Leah, despite her anger, felt a pang of guilt at the naked betrayal reflected in your eyes. Maybe this public outing wasn't the best course of action, but the hurt and confusion had driven her to a corner.

The silence stretched on, broken only by the murmur of shocked whispers from onlookers. Your teammates at your table shot worried glances your way, the playful atmosphere of the night now replaced with a tense curiosity.

Suddenly, a new voice cut through the tension. "What's going on here?" It was Kim, your captain, standing tall beside Leah with a concerned frown etched on her face.

Now, all eyes were on you. You could lie, fabricate some story to appease everyone. But the truth, however messy, loomed large. You took a deep breath, stealing a glance at Leah's pained expression. This wouldn't be easy for either of you.

"It's...complicated," you started, your voice barely above a whisper. "The night Leah mentioned...we did share a moment, but..." You hesitated, unsure how to explain the confusing dance you'd been doing with your feelings.

"But...?" Evan prompted, his grip on your arm tightening even further. You winced at the pressure, the situation escalating with every passing second.

Taking another steadying breath, you finally decided on honesty, however brutal it might be. "Evan," you began, your voice gaining strength, "we're not...together. We never were." You turned to Leah, your eyes pleading for understanding. "And what happened that night...it shouldn't have happened."

A collective gasp rippled through the room. The carefully constructed facade of your relationship with Evan crumbled before your eyes. Shame burned hot on your cheeks, but you pushed on, determined to finally clear the air.

"Leah and I..." you started, then paused, searching for the right words. "We care about each other, but it's complicated. There were feelings, a moment of weakness..." You trailed off, the weight of the situation settling heavily on your shoulders.

Leah, seeing your genuine distress, felt her anger begin to simmer down. Maybe public exposure wasn't the best strategy, but at least you were finally being honest. Her gaze locked with yours, a silent plea for understanding passing between you.

Before you could continue, Evan yanked his arm free, his face contorted in a mixture of anger and disbelief. "You mean to tell me this whole time..." he spat, his voice thick with anger, but before he could finish his tirade, Kim stepped forward.

"Enough, Evan," she said, her voice firm and authoritative. "This isn't the time or place. Let's all take a step back and cool down."

Evan shook his head, "No we're leaving."

You tried to stop him "Evan, please let's just talk about it here, sort it out here."

Evan pushed his hands through his hair "Don't you think you have embarrassed me enough in front of all your friends tonight, we are leaving."

The air crackled with tension as Evan stormed away, dragging you who looked to Leah with what seemed to be a pleading look etched across your face.

Kim placed a hand on Leah's shoulder, her gaze laced with concern. "Are you alright, Le?" she asked gently. Leah shook her head brushing off the captain's hand "I'm going home, I'm sorry."

Leah is lying asleep in bed hours later when her doorbell goes off, she tosses slightly ignoring it hoping sleep will welcome her back when it goes off again.

huffing Leah tosses her duvets aside, before trudging down the stairs and swinging the door open angrily.

"What." Leah goes to give out to whoever has found themselves on her doorstep this late at night but the words die in her throat.

In the doorway, you're standing there shaking a dishevelled, your eyes red-rimmed and hair windblown. Dress torn, a bruise beginning to form on your cheekbone, a busted lip and a shiner coming through on your left eye.

Leah's heart lurched. The anger that had fueled her earlier actions evaporated, replaced by a cold dread. You were a mess, a physical manifestation of the chaos she'd helped create.

"Y/N?" Your name came out in a choked whisper.

You swayed slightly, before You flinched, as if expecting a slap instead. "Leah," you croaked, your voice hoarse. "I...Leah...please...let me in."

There was no room for judgment now. You needed help, a safe haven. Stepping aside, Leah ushered you in, the late-night chill clinging to your clothes a stark contrast to the warmth of her house.

The public humiliation you'd both endured at the gala paled in comparison to the violence simmering on her doorstep. Her anger towards you was forgotten, replaced by a surge of protectiveness.

"Come in," she rasped, stepping aside to usher you both into the house.

You stumbled slightly, leaning heavily on the doorframe for support. Leah quickly reached out, a hesitant hand hovering near your arm. You flinched again, but this time, it seemed to be more out of pain than fear.

Taking a deep breath, Leah swallowed her reservations. "Let's get you cleaned up first," she said, her voice firm but laced with concern.

You offered a weak nod, leaning on her as she guided you further into the house. The weight of your body against hers was a stark reminder of the intimacy they'd shared, a stark contrast to the violence you were now escaping.

"Evan..." you manage, voice hoarse. "He...he didn't take the news well."

Your words spark a horrifying image in Leah's mind, as she recounts his forceful grabbing of your arm over the night.

You winced as her hand came towards your face looking to clean your lip. Leah began to remember all the previous times you had winced at a hand being raised towards you and she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of her next question.

"Did he…?" she started, then stopped. How to phrase the question delicately, when all she wanted to scream was, "Is this the first time done this?"

You seemed to understand her unspoken question. Shame flickered in your eyes before you dropped them to your hands.

The air hung heavy with the unspoken truth. Leah bit her lip, the concern for your well-being warring with a fresh wave of shame.

"Was this..." she started, her voice barely a whisper, "the reason you were hesitant with me? Because of him?"

You looked down at your feet, avoiding her gaze. A small, defeated nod escaped your lips.

The confirmation hit Leah like a punch to the gut. All this time, your distance, your mixed signals – it had all been because of Evan's abuse. A part of her wanted to be angry, to rage at you for not confiding in her sooner, but the bigger part ached for you, for the pain you must have endured in silence.

"Why didn't you say anything?" she finally asked, her voice thick with emotion.

You lifted your head, your eyes filled with a vulnerability that ripped at Leah's heart.

"I was scared," you confessed, your voice barely a whisper. "Scared of him, scared of losing everything – the team, you..."

The raw honesty in your voice resonated with Leah. She understood. The fear of losing everything you'd worked hard for was a powerful motivator, especially in the face of an abuser.

Placing a hand on your arm, this time gently, Leah offered a small, reassuring smile. "You're safe now," she said softly. "He can't hurt you here."

The tenderness in her touch sent a wave of warmth through you. Looking into her eyes, you saw not judgment, but a wellspring of concern and a flicker of something more – a hint of the feelings you harboured for her as well.

"Leah I..." you started, your voice trailing off.

Leah squeezed your arm gently. "We can deal with everything else later. Right now, you need to rest and get cleaned up."

There was a silent understanding that bloomed between you. The night's events had irrevocably altered the course of your relationship. The truth, though brutal, had finally been laid bare. Whether there was a future for you and Leah, you didn't know yet. But for now, the solace of her presence, the promise of safety, was all that mattered.

Leah had gotten you up the stairs and to her bedroom before placing you gently on the bed and rushing to get you pyjamas for the night.

"Right, here's the pyjamas, you know where the toilet is eh i'll be in the other room just come wake me if you need me." As Leah began to walk off you grabbed her hand "Le....thank you." how could you ask her to stay after everything, she had opened her home for you, the pain you put her through.

Leah hesitates for a moment, caught between her lingering anger and the vulnerability in your eyes. "You deserve to be safe," she says softly, her eyes filled with concern, before walking out.

The night stretches on, a tangled mess of worry and a strange sense of vulnerability for Leah. She tosses and turns in bed, the sheets tangled around her legs. Sleep eludes her, replaced by a constant replay of the night's events.

The image of you, battered and bruised, on her doorstep, had banished any lingering anger Leah felt. Now, a restless worry gnawed at her. Every creak of the floorboards sent her imagination into overdrive, conjuring visions of you tossing and turning in pain.

Finally, unable to bear the suspense any longer, Leah crept out of her room and padded down the hallway towards yours. The soft glow of the bedside lamp peeked out from under the door, casting a warm rectangle on the floor.

Hesitantly, Leah pushed the door open a crack. You were lying on your back, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. The harsh light accentuated the shadows of your injuries, making them look even worse.

"Can't sleep?" Leah asked softly, the door creaking slightly as she nudged it open further.

You flinched at the sound, your gaze snapping towards her. "Leah," you whispered, relief washing over your face. "I thought you were asleep."

Leah stepped into the room, the concern etched on her face evident in the dim light. "Couldn't," she admitted. "Is everything okay?"

You shook your head, the movement sending a jolt of pain through your throbbing cheek. "Just… thinking."

Leah felt a pang of sympathy. The weight of the night's events must be crushing. Taking a deep breath, she decided to offer some comfort.

"Would you like some company?" she asked gently. "Maybe some tea?"

A flicker of a smile touched your lips. "That would be nice," you rasped.

Leah smiled back, a genuine one this time, relieved to see a hint of your usual spirit flickering back to life. "Alright, I'll be right back."

She scurried out of the room, the sound of her footsteps a comforting rhythm in the quiet night. As she brewed the tea, a warmth spread through Leah's chest – a warmth that had nothing to do with the hot water.

Seeing you so vulnerable, so dependent on her care, had awakened a fierce protectiveness within her. But there was something else too, a deeper emotion that had been simmering beneath the surface all along.

Returning to the room with two steaming mugs, Leah settled on the edge of the bed, careful not to crowd you. You reached out, taking the mug from her hand with a grateful smile.

For a while, you both sipped your tea in comfortable silence. The unspoken words hung heavy in the air, a shared understanding blooming between you.

Finally, you broke the silence, your voice still hoarse from the night's events. "Leah, about earlier..."

Leah met your gaze, her heart pounding in her chest. "We can talk about it all in the morning," she interrupted gently. "Right now, you need to rest."

You shook your head. "No Leah...I have to....you deserve to know," you stated your voice thick with emotion.

You picked at your fingers letting out a shaky breath " He was so sweet when I first met him, but it didn't last and I thought that what I had with him was all I was going to have, all I was worth, but then I met you after my transfer and you were so soft and gentle, even as a friend and I found myself falling for you.....I was just so scared to leave him and then.....then that night here with you...Evan..he...I was only ever there for him...for his pleasure but with you....I...You were gentle and loving and...you looked after me and I loved every second of it but felt so heartbroken too because it's all I ever wanted with the girl I dreamed of but I...he scares me....the things he does scares me and it was easier to leave the next morning and ignore you then fall into my feelings because I was terrified of the outcome."

Leah, her heart clenching with every word, listened intently as you poured out your story. The vulnerability in your eyes mirrored the turmoil within her. Here you were, laying bare your soul, and she understood in a way she never had before.

"Leah," you continued, your voice trembling slightly, "I know I messed up. I should have confided in you, but I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, afraid of what Evan might do."

Leah reached out, her hand hovering gently over yours. "It's okay," she whispered, the words thick with emotion. "I understand."

A tear escaped your eye, tracing a warm path down your cheek. You leaned into her touch, finding a solace you hadn't felt in a long time.

"Can you ever forgive me?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken pining. Leah looked into your eyes, searching for the answer within them. The truth was, the anger had faded, replaced by a deep well of empathy and a growing affection for you.

"There's nothing to forgive," she finally said, her voice soft but firm. "You were in a difficult situation, and you did what you had to do to survive."

A tear rolls down your cheek, and you don't bother brushing it away. Relief washes over you, a sense of finally being understood. You take another sip of tea, the warmth spreading through you.

Leah, her heart clenching at your confession, reached out and placed a comforting hand over yours. "It's okay," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "You're safe now."

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over as the dam of your emotions finally broke. You let out a choked sob, the exhaustion and fear of the night catching up to you. Leah held you close, her embrace a silent promise of safety and support.

As you cried, the story tumbled out – the manipulative games Evan played, the subtle threats that escalated into violence, the isolation that made you feel trapped. Leah listened patiently, her anger towards Evan burning hot alongside her protectiveness of you.

When your sobs subsided, leaving behind a shaky silence, Leah spoke softly. "You're so strong, Y/N," she said, her voice filled with admiration. "For enduring all that, for finally getting away."

You shook your head, a weak smile flickering on your lips. "Strong isn't exactly how I feel right now."

Leah squeezed your hand. "Maybe not. But you were brave. You came here, you faced the truth, and you're starting to heal."

A comfortable silence settled between you, broken only by the quiet sniffles and the soft glow of the bedside lamp. The weight of the unspoken hung heavy in the air, a question lingering between you.

Finally, Leah took a deep breath and broke the silence. "What do you want to do now, Y/N?" she asked gently.

You looked at her, your eyes filled with a newfound vulnerability. "I...I don't know," you admitted. "All I know is...I don't want to go back to him."

Leah hummed running her fingers through your hair. "I want to be with you...I want to know what it's like to be loved by you."

Leah felt her heart flutter "I'll be happy to show you when your ready."

You turned to face her, your eyes flicking back and forth between her eyes and lips "Can...Can i kiss you." Leah quickly nodded before pulling you closer and kissing you.

"Ow." you let out a soft groan at the sting of your lip, "Softer next time please." Leah smiled as you began to laugh "Softer every time."

[wroteclassicaly]

Summary: A confession leads to unexpected heartbreak.

18+

Warnings: Language, smut, hurt/no comfort, one sided feelings, heartbreak, angst GALORE, self-esteem issues, mentions Steve’s past head trauma, insecurities on both sides, jealous Steve, mentions Nancy, best-friend!Reader w/ best-friend!Steve, and friends to lovers. This one hurts, folks!

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Word count: 3,985

A/N: No banner for this! Just some raw writing I did early into the hours of this morning/night, adding on some today. I wanted to try something different, so enjoy!

Note: Also posting this the day after I wrote it. Okay, lmaooooo.

“I love you, Steve.”

The words come easy to you, the courage taking years to build. But once they leave your mouth as you’re cradling his neck’s nape, playing with the chocolate curls that have grown out there, you cannot figure out why you wasted time not saying it. It’s been an ongoing thing between you two — a two year thing, in fact. Never any pushing for labels, no exclusivity. You were patient, he was giving, and you assumed you were both reading on the same page.

In a few minutes, however, you’d find out how very wrong that you were. You wished that your mouth and your legs had stayed closed around your best-friend, Steve Harrington.

It was a typical weekday, no dates planned, acting as if his last date hadn’t upset you, or that you enjoyed the one you forced yourself to go on with some guy, so that your feelings weren’t completely obvious. Sidenote: to mostly everyone but Steve, they kinda were. Steve had called you after your shift at the local Burger King, asking if you wanted to come over and spend the night. Not unusual. You always trade spending nights, rolling around on various surfaces, before enjoying breakfast together.

Intimate, casual, perfect.

Your answer was an automatic yes. A quick shower after work for you, a return phone call, and he’d gotten in his BMW, picked up some takeout, went to your door to get you, held your hand to the car, opened your damned door, and the dessert had been him between your thighs. This night in particular, it was one of pent up frustrations and desperations that had just one satiable cure. You ended up on top of Steve, his back pressed into the headboard, mutual clothes scattered all over his bed.

His shoulders became leverage, his massive palms spread out on either side of your waist, pinching the plush skin into his palming grip. Nose dusting across a defined nose bridge, caught in a cheekbone, with kisses rushed, deep, sloppily trying to stay focussed, but driven to reach that place buried inside one another.

Steve’s thighs provide a platform for you to sit upon, ankles locked around his back. He’s slippery with sweat, places you’d like to lick clean. You pull back from your cove to say it again, unable to stop yourself, going in for a kiss. You don’t think he heard, he’s humble sometimes, disbelieving in others. One hand cups his jaw, the other staying put to card through his hair, moisture pooling between your fingers.

“Hey? You still with me, big guy? I said I love you.” You’re smiling softly, thumbpad caressing his jawline. You feel it twitch, his shoulders tense.

Is he gonna cum? You know the signs. “Steve?” Something in your guts feels a little off. You ignore it.

“I know what you said. I heard you say it the first time.” He interrupts, tries to remain impassive, his hips slowing from your combined movements.

Like salt in the wound, a fresh slap to the face. No way.

“You heard me say that I love you?” You have to try one more time. He’s been hit in the head a lot, maybe he didn’t get it? He couldn’t have, right? Are you really this stupid, this dense?

You attempt to kiss him, to lay it all down through your actions, rather than your words this time, but your mouth doesn’t get the chance to meet him.

His lids flutter closed, he sighs, his face leaving yours, hands lifting off your body to wrap around your wrists, slowly untangling them from his neck. “Stop, alright?”

You feel your heart rate accelerate, your body tensing, your throat is choked with a teary panic, a bulldozer driving across your organs, settling atop you with its weight. Every single wall you still have built, they slowly shake off their cobwebs to rise from the dust, smothering you in the smoke. And he’s suddenly a very tight fit, to the point where you’re wincing, body immediately wanting, trying to push him out. He notices, one hand dropping to the side of your face. “Hey, hey. Hon —“ He stops himself, lets your nickname drop, falling back into your regular name.

He isn’t sure who that action hurts the most.

One look at your vacant expression and Steve feels as if he’s been sucker punched, that he’s the meanest version of himself he’s ever been.

He’s still inside of you, you let him into your body, you told him a sacred set of words. And this is what he’s doing to you? Hurting you to the point where your body starts to get frightened? But he couldn’t just come while you poured your heart out, he couldn’t continue like his world was normal anymore. He reaches down to wrap around his base, face wrinkling, teeth gritting. You’re so fucking tight that it hurts, his cock aches for you when he eases his way outward, dragging combined essences with him. “Let me just…” He starts, deep voice a rocky, rasp, finishing when his length is gone from your body, dripping with you onto his sheets, covering him.

Once he’s out, you’re already passed the point of overwhelming vulnerability. Your legs clamp closed, your hands cover your chest, unwillingly to wrap yourself in his damn sheet that smells like home to you. Steve is unsteady on his feet, halfway hard, but slowly softening at your nearly curled position. You aren’t looking at him, you won’t, you cannot. It’s not safe right now, because if you do, it’ll all come apart and it won’t stop. Steve is on overload in his own head, eyes sparkling, tears matted into his lash-line.

He has to breathe through his nose when he says it. It’s wrong, it’s so fucking wrong. But he’s helpless, he can’t take this environment, he wants to run from you, from your words.

“I’ll, uh. I’ll, uhm… I can take you home if you get dressed.”

He’s blinking away blurry vision as he catches your wounded, tear fogged expression the moment that he’s snatching his boxers and jeans off the bed, and making for the bedroom door. He shuts it and leaves you to re-cloth yourself in silence. It’s honestly deafening, you’re not sure how you manage. Revealing your body to his room, to his scent, pictures on his wall, various trinkets, but not him. You’re shaking as you put on piece by piece of fabric, dreading having to see him.

Your hand hovers over the door, giving several pauses before you open it. You step out onto the deep carpet, plush across your feet, mashed against your toes. He’s nowhere in sight. And you remember that he took his clothing, so he’s probably getting re-dressed.

Fuck this. It’s in your brain on broadway lights, body in flight mode. You’re heading down the staircase and snatching your shoes up by the entryway, forgetting your purse in his room. You don’t care anymore, you have to get out of here, this place closing in on you like a funhouse. You shut the door as quietly as you can, then you’re sprinting down the Harrington’s driveway.

Is it dramatic? Yeah. Oh-fucking-well, you’re running on adrenaline so your body doesn’t feel the disgusting agony that’s slowly eating its way through your insides. You get about halfway and you hear footsteps approaching at high rates, your name being chanted. Steve is at your side in seconds, breathless.

“Shit, you scared me. Why the hell did you leave like that?”

Your eyes widen to give him an incredulous look, and that’s when the tears escape, rolling down your cheeks. Steve sees your disheveled state next. No purse, no shoes. Your blouse is halfway hanging off your shoulder. It’s an automatic instinct, his fingers brushing underneath the fabric, dragging across your skin as he pulls up to secure it.

You want to flinch away, but you don’t. Hurt settles in his brows. He’s fucking incredible with that question. “You aren’t wearing your shoes. You can’t leave my house like this.”

Autopilot flies in to protect you, leveling off everything else that you could say or do. There’s no anger, there’s no sorrow, there’s nothing. And that’s what scares him the most when you say, “I just wanna go home.”

He can’t stand it anymore, his natural urge to protect your safety, has him wrapping you in his arms. You still smell like his bed, like him, like love making left unfinished. Your arms remain clutched to your chest. No reaction.

He says it out loud, unknowing if he means it to you or just to himself. “We should’ve never started having sex.”

A mistake. You’re his mistake. Not his biggest. Not even a real regret.

Steve Harrington has only ever loved one girl. He’s only ever regretted one loss. He even cared more for Robin before he even went to you. Are you even pretty enough, or does he just like you because you’re friends and he’s horny, or searching for something? You’re not it, not even a morsel.

And it doesn’t matter what you say, what you do, how you feel. You’ll be stuck with that, while Steve clings to whatever he truly wants. Now you’ve lost what you’ve built with him, destroyed his safe place by becoming a cliche. He doesn’t deserve your one sided feelings.

The wheels are spinning in your head, but Steve still sees nothing in your responses, nor your reception. So he lifts his keys from his pocket to respect your wishes, his chest on fire with an acidic inferno, his head clouded with pain far worse than anything he’s ever experienced, his skull echoing with what his brain has just endured. You walk to his car without sparing a glance, feet still bare. He swallows and it just feels like piles of broken glass. He can do nothing but do what you asked of him.

He drives you to your house in silence. Steve Harrington has been sure of one thing in two years, and that’s always been you. But as he pulls up to your house, you’re climbing from his car before he can put it in park, your voice hauntingly, desperately hollow. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.”

And you leave him, the levee going to break once you’re through your front door, pain in between your legs to remind you the next morning before your mind does. His nose crinkles, his fingers pinching, a thin line of snot trailing out. Steve wants to say to you that it’s him who has ruined it all. That he’s so scared of those words, that he doesn’t understand how someone could love him, so he can’t let your words sink in, can’t consciously reciprocate. A coward who won’t let himself feel your declaration.

Steve Harrington’s brain, however, knows the truth.

~*~

Waking up the next morning had been a reality that neither you, nor Steve were prepared to handle. You pretty much cried yourself to sleep, whilst Steve held onto your purse and paced his floor until his feet verged on rug burn, tears blurring his vision. When he finally did lay down, his alarm went off two hours later. He woke to your scent all over his bed, still covering him, lingering even as he showered, especially in his car on the way to the store. The same car that things have happened in, and the very one that he dumped you off like trash last night, after what you’d gone through to tell him the extent of your feelings. He wasn’t functioning on a full level from the second he pulled into the parking lot.

~*~

You could still feel him, your body sore, brain picking up seconds after you opened your eyes, toes hitting the blush rug underneath your bed. Your sclera was bloodshot, burning, clouding over as you passed by pictures of you with Steve, and quite a few you’d taken of him solo, that you had on the corkboard above your desk. You’d deal with taking everything down later, unsure what you would be doing with the items. Forgoing breakfast was a given, your stomach in knots. Showering went painfully fast, leading you right into putting on your work uniform.

You barely made it three hours into your shift, headache, heartache going head to head, and your boss had noticed your discomfort, gently releasing you for the day. Only one person made everything better, but that was no longer an option. Your confession sets you free, backfiring what type of freedom you wanted to occur. It was eleven o’clock when you dock yourself into Family Video’s parking lot, relieved Steve was on his normal lunch hour. Even if you can spend time with Robin, it will help.

You can hurry, you don’t have to see his face.

Fate has other plans.

You’re helping Robin unpack some candy shipments when his car pulls in about half an hour early. She could tell you weren’t feeling your best, so that’s why she’d assumed you didn’t want a male presence around. You’re honestly shocked she hasn’t clocked Steve as the mystery man she’s known about the past two years.

“Don’t worry,” she says, upon seeing your soured, slightly fearful expression. “It’s just our doofus. He’s been in a brooding mood today, probably why he’s back early.”

A mood? So you have ruined it all.

You nod, forcing yourself to stay put, immediately gaining on deep breathing. At least you don’t shake when you begin to alphabetize the candy. You can hear her greet Steve before he even gets a word in. She snatches some kind of paper bag, that you assume he brought back for her — away, rifling through its contents as she speaks.

“Dingus, you still have that bottle of Tylenol in your car?”

Steve’s heart is in his throat, wrapping him tighter than Vecna’s hive minds did. He gives a silent yes, head trying to lean around a few shelves. Fuck. Of course that was your car out front, he wasn’t just imagining shit. He’s hopeful, anxious. What are you here for? Who?

“Good. Can you go get it, please? She doesn’t feel good and she’s been helping me all morning.”

Immediate worry doesn’t cover it. You’re here and not at work, and you’re sick? Steve snaps out of what trance he’s in, eyes pinching closed and he nods rapidly. “Shit, yeah. I’ll go get it. Here, Robs. Can you take my water to her?” He hands off his half drank bottle without question, moving back outside to get the medicine.

It’s funny, the look on your face as Robin presents you with his drink. You all share off of one another all the time. She places the food bag beside her, to which you politely decline her offer for some. Doesn’t matter if you haven’t eaten, you can’t.

“I know he has cooties, but I think we’re safe.” She shoulder bumps you, trying to get a smile. When you barely lift your mouth, she goes into her version of mom mode. It dawns on her and it comes from her mouth without tact.

“Wait, is this about that mystery guy who took your virginity? The one you’ve been seeing for two years? Holy shit, did he finally commit?”

If Robin couldn’t tell how you felt about Steve, or see anything from his part, then you guess it’s true.

There’s nothing to see.

You can feel your rib cage gape open, heart falling into your ass, strangled by your intestines.

Luckily, Steve has perfect timing, appearing right in earshot as Robin reveals information you never told him. The room feels small, you feel as if you could melt into the floor, non-existent. Would it matter? You are starting to think love controls everything, after all. You’re fucking doomed.

He lets his Nikes carry him forward, bottle of Tylenol in his massive hand. He’s starting to tremble, betrayal etched into his mouth, giving away what Robin now feels stupid for not knowing. It all clicks when your moods are matched, your mixed reactions combining.

“Oh. Oh, holy fuck. I’m…” She looks at her best-friend, who is halfway seething to near sobbing, and at you, who cannot look her in the eyes. “Shit, I should’ve known. Why didn’t I know? Fuck. I’ll give you two a minute —“

“Steve?” Your voice is tinged with something, one that has him slightly elated that you’re vocal, and even more pissed at you. He waits, his tongue caught in his throat, about to ask you, but you’re adding on. “May I have two Tylenols please?” Standing on your feet right after.

He’s like a fucking statue, on autopilot, unmoving this time. Robin rises, plucks the bottle gently, shaking out two and drops them into your hand, handing the container back to Steve, ultimately giving his water to you. She mouths an apology, but you’re smiling a tacky, forced grin that looks as if it’s pinching your lips. She’s bound to be upset you both neglected to tell her. Keeping your mouth shut should’ve been the reverse way.

“I’ll call you tonight, Robs. I’m sorry, okay?”

“Hey.” She stops you before you can step back to leave, wrapping her arms around you, maroon coated lips by your ear. “I don’t have a foot fetish, but I really should’ve kept the entirety of my own in there to avoid this.”

That gets you laughing softly, and you don’t look at Steve as you depart from her arms and for your car. He’s still frozen.

Robin does, though, stares right through him. She can see how much he’s hurting. She doesn’t want to judge either side, so she simply reaches up to rub along between his shoulder blades. “If you need to —“

“I’ll be right back.” His eyes are trained on your retreating form, handing her the pills as he follows you.

“That works too!” She points a finger in his direction, sighing. Is everyone else onto this, or is she just off her game?

~*~

You’ve just barely downed the pills, tasting Steve’s cinnamon breath spray, combined with his morning coffee all around the lid of his water. You chug it fast, your back still turned to the front door. That’s when the dumbass little bell rings, slapping back against the door, and his voice comes into play.

“You can taste my mouth on that, right?”

You remain non-verbal. This angers him to the point he steps close enough that you can smell his cologne and aftershave. His tone shatters, emotion bleeding through. “Because friends share things with one another.”

“Well, friends sure as hell don’t fuck!” It snaps free of your mouth, shocking the both of you, plastic crinkling in your hands. Your head is hurting, between your thighs is aching, and you’re positive that a piece of your chest has been carved out.

He’ll always have that, whether he wants it or not.

“They don’t lie about being a virgin, either! They don’t say that it’s been a while when they’re in pain and I’m fucking asking what’s wrong the first time that we have sex! If I would have known, then it would’ve been—”

“Wouldn’t have happened, so I didn’t build some little attachment to you, right?”

Steve visibly recoils.

“Is that really what you thought of me? That I was still that big of an asshole? Because we were already pretty attached. I did everything with you, you practically lived at my house.”

“If you didn’t have a date. Maybe it was just sex, me and you. Still doesn’t answer if you found me attractive. Probably just biased because you were my friend.” Word vomit. Too late to stop now.

Steve mulls over the meaning of were. Past tense? Does it apply to current?

His hands go onto his hips, a sidestep, and he turns back to look at you in astonishment, having to swipe aggressively at the wetness in his eyes. He doesn’t even know where to begin with everything you just said. His brain is screaming to tell you that no, he’s always found you fucking beautiful. That he would have preferred you over all of those dates, or any that he’s ever had for that matter. But he’s so confused about letting anything in, his tongue becomes tied, only able to get out one lame question. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

When your gaze flickers up, you see he’s snarling, but there’s tears clouding his vision. You’re a little lighter in how you speak to him, dismantling your armor. “Because I didn’t want you to think I was a loser, I didn’t want our first time to be about that, I didn’t think you would want to… I didn’t mean to — I’m sorry, Steve.”

He marvels. You really thought that? Did he not express his care for you?

“I would’ve made it better for you. Fuck, were you even okay after it happened?”

His moral compass is extraordinary nowadays, and it does make you hesitant, but you let your fingers cup his cheek. “It was the best. You were the best. I wanted it to happen with you. And it’s something that I would never take back.”

Your teeth start to chatter, your own tears forming. You want to console further, to wipe away his. But you start to let your hand slip. Steve catches it, holding your fingers in his palm, wrapping his digits around to lace. His deep voice drags along each syllable, crooked and wet with emotion. “Please let me hold you before you leave?”

And god, do you want to. You’ve never needed anything more. But if you let him… You just refuse to put yourself into that place right now. You shake your head, replacing your hand with his water bottle. His tongue pokes at his cheek, he shakes his head, attempting to argue. He closes his fist around the plastic.

“I meant what I said last night. And I realize that I ruined everything, Steve.” He can’t speak, why isn’t he able to disagree, why is it like he’s drowning, running in slow motion?

“I just don’t know if it can be repaired.” By the time you slide into your car, hand over your face, arm propped to your steering wheel, body heavy into your seat, Steve finds himself worked up to the point that he can’t bear to be around you, he can’t watch this, his figure pivoting, and he returns straight into the store, booking it to the break room.

~*~

After you’ve cried for what feels like forever, embarrassing yourself, light headed with guilt, you don’t end up driving yourself home, unable to do it in this state. You make your way to a pay phone to call Nancy. How fucking ironic. What’s worse, is that she can’t make it, you find out, as Jonathan Byers pulls up in her station wagon, letting you know that she’s sorry, but she got a call back to her job. You assure him it’s fine, grateful another friend is here, at least, joining him.

He doesn’t press you. But he knows. He’s one of them that pegged it from the start, he and Nance both.

“You okay?” Is his gruff question.

“Yeah, I just have to go home.”

He says nothing else. But what neither of you see, is Steve Harrington, as he’s just getting to the doorway, regretting his decision to not go back once he realized you didn’t leave, unable to stand you being that upset and not trying to do something (if he could) — watching the affection Jonathan Byers extends your way, and your rejection of any reluctance to accept it. His amber eyes are smoldering, his fist clenched, every muscle rigid, heart rate firing off rapid shots.

“Steve…” Robin tries, folding in beside him, seeing his dismissal of logic, his brain switching, latching onto primal panic. “You’re at work, remember? Video tapes, acne covered boss?”

But he’s throwing off his vest in response and striding towards his car, ignoring her pleas.

[tsimvkas]

i wish you were sober — trent a.

A/N: oh here we are 🫶🏻 tbh ive been super nervous about writing a long fic for trent for the first time so i’d really appreciate if you could tell me your thoughts about it mwah!!

word count: 21.9k (wow wow wow) | masterlist

content: childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut, drunk!trent and fluff

Every time your best friend Trent has too many shots, the pair of you share a kiss. And he never remembers it.

You’ve met Trent Alexander-Arnold when he was still only Trentie, your colleague in kindergarten. A sweet and endearing kid, who would play with you every afternoon before napping on the little child’s bed next to yours.

Growing with him was something special. He became funnier with time, but always affectionate towards you. He’d always invite you to his house, to play with water balloons or hide and seek with the kids in the street.

The teenager stage was the hardest for your friendship.

Following his career up close, you got to discover a new Trent when things became more serious, so focused and dedicated, but also without time for you. You weren’t selfish, and you knew that football was all or nothing for him, so you tried your best to support him no matter what.

When he was finally called up for the first team, everything changed for the better. He was still the busiest person you’ve ever met, always so dedicated and focused, but your efforts were recognised and from that moment on your friendship only became stronger.

Trent always did his best to see you between training sessions and matches, sometimes dragging you with him to photoshoots and ad recordings. His family sees you as one of their own, and yours looks at him the same way.

You couldn’t imagine your life without things like the monthly BBQ at the Alexander-Arnold’s yard anymore, and the family trip to Anfield so you could all support him. Both families get along so well, and you’re sure you won the lottery with this rare and special type of friendship.

But things started to change for you when the first kiss happened. A party full of famous people wasn’t what you were looking for that day, but Trent dragged you there anyway.

He asked you to drive so he could drink and of course you accepted. The same way he would do everything in his power to make you happier, you would always help him too, so you hadn’t had any drink that night and as the hours passed you started to want nothing more than your house.

It got incredibly worse when you spotted a heavily drunk Trent chatting with a girl after looking for him for about half an hour. It usually never bothered you to see someone hitting on him and vice versa, but this specifically time stung.

When he was too drunk, he’d always reach out for you and let you know, so you could keep an eye at him and make sure he’d have water and painkillers the next day, but this time he had leave you alone in a place you knew no one, just so he could get some.

You remember debating for a while if you should go there and end his party or let him mind his business and try to distract yourself until he was tired enough to ask you to leave, but you hadn’t had the chance to make a decision though, as a blonde and muscular man approached you.

You both were chatting and laughing together when Trent got closer, suddenly circling your waist whilst nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

The blonde guy, Liam, looked at you with a funny face before asking if you needed help, but your best friend didn’t let you answer before mumbling that he wanted to leave.

A clingy Trent wasn’t unusual for you, always cuddling and snuggling together, but when he brushed a kiss against your neck the weird and new feeling in the pitch of your stomach made you shiver.

“Alright, I also think we should get going, Trentie” you tapped his arm on your belly, and Liam raised an eyebrow at you.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drop you home?” he smiled softly, but before you could answer Trent squeezed your arm.

“Can you grab my hoodie for me? I left it in the cupboard” he murmured. You nodded, telling Lim you’d be right back and quickly making your way to the door underneath the stairs.

When you came back with his fluffy hoodie in your hands, Liam was nodding his head to a serious Trent.

“Everything’s ok?” you frowned, since Trent didn’t look that sober a minute ago, but none of them answered.

“Wear it” your best friend motioned his head to the hoodie. “It’s cold outside”

You obeyed, pulling the hoodie over your head. Trent offered you his hand, and you grabbed it whilst turning to Liam in order to say goodbye.

“Will you take my number or what?” you playfully rolled your eyes.

His pale cheeks instantly turned red, and Liam shook his head.

“Sorry, Y/N. You’re really nice and beautiful and I’d love to know you better, but I think it’s better not” he scratched the back of his head, and the atmosphere instantly became awkward.

You shrugged, not actually knowing what to say. “Ok. C’mon, Trent”

When you made it to the car, you made sure Trent’s seat belt was correct before getting behind the wheel. Turning the engine, you sighed loudly.

“See? You don’t believe me when I tell you but they don’t like me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but something clearly is” you started to drive to his house.

In general, Trent doesn’t like to leave his house, and that’s why he only goes to parties thrown by close friends which usually happens to be next to him.

The drive was quick and silent, and once you parked in front of his house he turned to face you.

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect, Y/N, and I like you”

You smiled appreciatively, turning the engine off since he decided to chat instead of saying bye and jumping out of the car, like his drunk ass usually does.

“You’re my best friend, Trent. What I’m trying to say is that no one likes me romantically” you gave him a small shrug.

Taking the seat belt off, he got up and rested his knee on his seat so he could lean closer to you.

Not fully understanding what was happening, your first reaction was to hold your breath and freeze in place when Trent got too close.

You aren’t dumb nor blind. Trent has always been pretty and hot, but more than that he is adorable. Gentle, curious, caring. And way out of your league.

In all these years of friendship he never looked at you like he wanted something else, so you always tried your best to keep sane.

They were friendly touches. They were friendly pet names. They were friendly cuddles, sleepovers and trips together.

You’ve been holding back your thoughts so you wouldn’t fall for someone you couldn’t have. You’ve been trying really hard, as you truly believe that a genuine friendship between a man and a woman can exist.

But when his lips brushed against yours and you closed your eyes, you couldn’t fight the thoughts anymore.

He was your best friend, but he was also the guy you wanted. With his silly jokes, strong arms holding you, a chill personality and pretty eyes looking back at you to check if you think he’s actually that funny.

Alexander-Arnold was definitely your type and you knew this all along; he just wasn’t available for you.

The kiss lasted a few minutes before Trent pulled away and looked at you with wide eyes. You didn’t know how to react or what to say, and the car stayed in silence for a while before he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you for taking care of me tonight. See ya”

You watched him jumping out of the car and quickly entering his house, the one he lives in with his parents and Marcel, and turning around to wave at you. Waving back, you headed home with both your mind and heart racing.

Discovering that he didn’t remember the kiss when he woke up the next morning hurt you a lot, but it also made you think if the universe wasn’t giving you both another chance to not screw up your friendship.

Then it happened again, and a second time left you even more confused. The way he kissed you tenderly, so different from what you expected a drunk kiss from Trent to be.

It happened a third time. And a fourth. In every party, he’d have a few shots and come to you, kissing you softly. You knew it wasn’t right, the fact that you’ve been carrying this alone whilst he couldn’t remember.

It felt like the destiny of your friendship with Trent was exclusively in your hands, and you hated it.

The pair of you spent a few months like this — even though it was wrong, you couldn’t force yourself to deny him or tell him you didn’t want that, because you did. Until the last time you agreed to go to a party with him.

You knew your kisses didn’t exactly meant anything, especially if Trent couldn’t remember them later, but it still hurt you when you left to grab water and came back to him flirting with a girl.

A girl that looked nothing like you, by the way.

Cleaning your throat, you got closer and tapped his shoulder, waiting for him to turn his head back and look at you. He gave you a disinterested look at first, and your stomach instantly churned.

“I’m not feeling good. I’m leaving now, are you staying?” you murmured.

Truth be told, you were secretly hoping he’d say yes. No matter how much it bothered you seeing him with other girls, it was the only way to convince yourself that he wasn’t yours. Not like that.

But the look in his eyes instantly became worried, and you had to bite your lips to stop you from smiling every time he showed concern for you.

“What’s wrong?” he turned completely to you, his back now facing the girl forgotten in the corner.

“I’ll be fine, just need to sleep” you shrugged.

Trent instantly grabbed his phone in his pocket and reached for your hand, guiding you outside without even saying goodbye to the other girl.

You couldn’t force yourself to feel sorry for her.

Without questioning you, he called an Uber to his house and hugged you for the quick drive, making you stay over.

Once in the safety of his room, Trent sat in the bed and reached his arms out to you.

“What are you feeling? Do you have any pain, nausea?” he asked gently, holding your waist when you got closer.

“I just need to sleep, Trent”

“C’mon, baby. What’s wrong? Is your sensitive tummy again? If you tell me I can grab the med for you” he caressed your stomach underneath the baby tee you chose to wear that night, thumbs stroking your skin softly.

You couldn’t hold the giggle, feeling giddy with his touch and the pet name slipping through his lips so easily.

“What’s so funny?” he smiled, looking at your face.

“How many shots did you have tonight?” you raised your eyebrows, your nails scratching the back of his head like you know he likes.

“A lot?” he told you shyly, making you laugh. “Why?”

“And who’s that girl you were talking to?”

“Oh, so that’s your nausea?” he grinned, tilting his head to the side. “You shouldn’t be worried, I told her I have a possessive and jealous best friend”

“Thanks” you tried to laugh, but the change in your expression was clear.

“No, what’s that face about? What did I said wrong?” Trent pouted, kissing your tummy over the fabric when you didn’t answer at first.

Knowing he had drinks enough, you sighed heavily. “Do you have any idea how it feels to see the guy you love flirting around with another girl?”

Trent’s eyes widened before he smirked, squeezing your waist.

“So you love me” he grinned, and you instantly started to walk backwards, cursing yourself.

“Of course, yeah” you coughed falsely. “You love me too, we’re best friends”

Trent got on his feet to follow you, and you cursed under your breath when your back hit the wall.

“No no, don’t run now” he cornered you, and you started to laugh even before he grabbed your waist.

The atmosphere was like the ones you were used to see in the movies. You yelped when he pulled you in his shoulder, his tipsy state making you both fall on the floor before he could make it to the bed.

You laughed so hard your belly started to hurt, and when he hugged you still laying on the floor you felt your body warming to his touch.

“I think I have an idea, actually. About how it feels” he murmured, your legs tangling together. “Not sure if you remember that pale and blonde man that looked like a ghost”

You laughed even harder at the mention of Liam, and Trent snorted before finally kissing you that night, a bit harsher and sloppier than how his kisses shared with you usually are.

Kissing him back, you giggled when he got on his feet and took you in his arms, tucking you in bed before getting back at kissing you.

You really thought things would change this time. That he was yours from now on.

Trying to fall asleep, the butterflies in your stomach made you company, and you couldn’t shut down properly due to the excitement, daydreaming about him.

It was only when the morning came and Trent asked you what had happened the last night, that you felt your heart sink, not even able to finish the breakfast you were sharing with him.

Since then, you started to decline every time he invited you to a party. Everything stayed normal when you met him during his matches or at his house, when you both decided to have dinner together or watch a movies.

In all those moments he was still only your best friend Trent, but you couldn’t face the other side anymore.

You couldn’t keep building hope and excitement only for his feelings to go away, like they were only part of the high of being drunk, so in order to protect your heart you’d only accept to see him in friendly circumstances.

It worked for a month and you were able to run from every party he mentioned, until you got the letter.

When you read it for the first time, it was hard to understand exactly what you were feeling.

You wanted this for years, and you worked hard to get it, but still… you used to think that the moment of reading your acceptance in the school you’ve always wanted only happened in movies.

Immediately telling your mother, the pair of you screamed excitedly, knowing for how long you worked for it.

After hugging her, you ran to your room and hit the button to call Trent, not pretty sure of what to say. He, more than anyone else, even your mum, knew how much you wanted this. He was there every step of the way, and you wanted to share the final one with him.

You soon found out you couldn’t tell him through the phone. When Trent asked you what was wrong, you only asked if he was free to have a coffee run with you.

Of course he agreed. Even if Trent was actually busy, as long as he wasn’t at training then he would drop everything to go and see you.

Your houses used to be in the same street, but as soon as he became a first team player he had to move, so you waited for him patiently at your front door.

“Good morning, sunshine” he smiled, waiting for you to get in. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I have my coffee” you rolled your eyes, leaning over the console and pecking his cheek. “How’s auntie Di?”

He giggled, starting to drive to your favourite place. The fact that he never needs to ask where to take you always makes you giddy.

“She’s good, but she can’t stop talking about Marcel giving her a grandchild” Trent snorted, making you laugh, but you know damn well that he’s just as excited with having a niece. “How’s your mum?”

“Asking about you as always” you giggled. “I told her the news and she said ‘wow! Trent already knows?’, can you believe it? No ‘congrats’ like normal parents do”

Trent laughed, soon parking next to the coffee shop and running to open the door for you, as always. Wrapping your arm around his, you both walked inside.

It was pretty common in your friendship to be touchy with each other, and Trent pulled you in front of him so he could hug you whilst ordering your coffees.

The cashier smiled softly and took your order before shyly asking for a picture, which he instantly agreed to. Even though his job is tiring and being stopped every time isn’t the nicest thing in the world, you never saw him being rude or awful to anyone.

Grabbing your order, he led you to your favourite booth seat since you like being able to sit next to each other. After a sip of your coffee, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I was accepted” you told him, giggling. “In Italy’s university”

Trent couldn’t held his jump, your face slowly going in the seat’s direction whilst you giggled and tried to straighten your body again

“I told you, Y/N!” he screamed, coming back to hug you. “You’re the smartest girl in Liverpool, of course they would want you to study with them. I’m so happy for you”

“Thank you” you giggled, knowing he wouldn’t stop talking about it for a while.

“When are you leaving? We need a farewell party” he poked your waist, the happiest smile on his face.

Your expression must have changed a bit, because he frowned at you. “Oh, I don’t know, Trent…”

He crossed his arms, and you knew he wouldn’t give up.

“C’mon, you’re going to another country! We won’t be able to see you for months” he insisted, and you hadn’t had the strength to say no to him.

So three days later you were at his house on a weekday, because Trent couldn’t during the weekend.

He made sure to make a pretty nice farewell party. Doing his best to invite only the people important to you, as he knows you don’t like the crowded parties he throws sometimes, and making a cute and aesthetic decoration for you.

A few members of your family had passed by earlier, but as soon as midnight came it was only the young adults, drinking and dancing.

Trent convinced you to have a few shots, and you didn’t want to disappoint him on your last party together. Since you knew you were safe with him and that you could go to his bed and sleep any time you wanted, you drank shot after shot.

You get drunk very easily, and that’s why you never drink when following Trent to one of his parties, so it wasn’t a surprise when your head started to spin and everything was suddenly too funny.

Dancing and chatting, you never left his side. Usually you prefer to hear him than to speak, but you couldn’t keep quiet and he was having fun with it.

When one of the boys called him, you nodded and let him go to check what it was. You took the time alone to observe the room, filled with people you grew up with, having fun, and the thought that you were about to leave all of this behind crossed your mind.

Trying to breathe and suddenly seeking for some silence, you went to the kitchen, thanking the universe when you saw it was empty.

As soon as you sat on the balcony your best friend entered the room, and the way his eyes lifted up made your tummy flutter.

“I was looking for you” he smiled, walking towards the balcony.

“Look no further” you smiled, hand already going to his hair as soon as he got closer.

He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers scratching his scalp, sighing in content.

“I’ll miss you” Trent slurred, his hands instantly going to your waist. “You’ll miss me, right?”

“Of course I’ll miss you, Trentie” you smiled at him, already feeling your cheeks warming. “You’re my best friend”

“That’s all?” he asked, spreading your legs so he could fit between them. When you looked at him with a confused expression, his fingers squeezed your waist tighter. “That’s all I am?”

You felt all types of emotions running through your body, your mind instantly on alert. The subject caught you off guard since you didn’t see him drink all night, so you just frowned.

“I can’t answer you that” you murmured, your own dizzy mind not being that helpful.

Trent pouted, getting closer and licking his lips wet. You felt your stomach back flipping, a cold sensation washing over your body.

“But I want you to answer” he murmured, his face so close his lips were brushing yours.

Later you could choose to blame the alcohol, but it that moment you chose to lean forward and grab his neck, pulling him close enough to close your lips on his.

You needed a goodbye kiss like your lungs needed air.

Trent’s response wasn’t immediate and you started to think you got the message wrong. All those times he was the one to initiate the kiss, and that’s how you knew he was actually drunk.

You started to panic with the realisation that he might not be as drunk as you thought he was, but as soon as you motioned to pull away his hands quickly cupped your jaw and gently deepened the kiss, one of them slowly sliding to your neck.

Usually your kisses wouldn’t last that long, and you tried to resist when Trent slid his tongue over your lips — but you’re just a girl, after all.

Opening your mouth and letting your best friend take control, soon you had to hold on Trent’s shoulders so he wouldn’t lay you down on the counter.

It was the first time he kissed you with such energy, instead of the shy kisses you’d usually share, and you couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering against his mouth.

“I’m gonna miss this too” he whispered against your lips, his erratic breath giving you a smug pride sensation.

“You won’t even remember this tomorrow, Trent” you tried not to sound too hurt, but your drunk state wasn't helping. “And it’s just a year, I’ll be right back”

“I’d miss you even if it was just a fucking week” he kissed you again, groaning against your lips. “You know I’d never, but I wish I was selfish enough to ask you to stay. You know you’re my favourite person in the world, right?”

You giggled at his silliness, tilting your head to the side.

“Tyler won’t like to know that, last week you said it was Aura-”

Trent cut you with another kiss, the hand on your neck trying to pull you even closer.

“Can I take you to my room?” he murmured after pulling away, and you instantly panicked.

“Oh- I- hm, I don’t think-” your mind went blank and you stuttered, thinking of how could you remind him — and yourself — that you are each other’s best friend.

“So we can cuddle” he cut you with a giggle, and you never felt more embarrassed. “Come here, legs around my waist”

You obeyed, yelping when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer.

“Sooo scandalous” he teased, making your face feel even hotter. “I wonder if you’re like that in-”

“Shut up” you groaned, hiding your face in his neck and cursing yourself when Trent started to laugh.

Once in his room he offered you a t-shirt, and you thought that you’re probably the reason why he needs to buy new ones every month.

Tapping the bed so you would join him, Trent waited for you before covering you two.

“There’s something I need to tell you” he murmured, waiting for your eyes to meet his. “I know you’re leaving for a while, and this isn’t, in any way, an attempt to make you stay. I want you to go, because you want to go. I want you to be happy, to see the world, learn different languages and make new friends. I really do”

“But?” you encouraged him to keep going.

Trent isn’t the type of guy to speak about his feelings. You know he’s sensitive, emotional, caring and an empath, but he likes to keep all of this to himself.

Constantly hiding what he really feels behind jokes and silly comments, it’s hard to make him open up to you. He can talk for England when he’s comfortable, which means he’s always yapping around you, but rarely about deep and profound things.

You know that for him to speak about what he wanted and what he feels, his mind had probably reached an overwhelmed state.

He got closer to you, his legs intertwining with yours.

“I think I’m kinda afraid that you won’t need me once you see what the world has reserved for you” he admitted, playing with the hem of the shirt you were wearing.

“I’ll always need you” you caressed his cheek, your eyes begging to be closed. “You know that”

“I really like you, Y/N. In a different way. And I get if it’s not what you want but from the way you kiss me I think it is and telling you this isn’t the easiest thing I’ve done in my life but you’re worth the fear and the uncomfortable feeling of speaking too much” he blurted out, his eyes avoiding yours.

You pecked his lips slowly and gently, letting it linger.

“I really like you too” you kissed him again, giggling. “I like you so much”

Trent smiled against your lips, circling your waist and bringing you closer. You got into a comfortable position, with half your body on top of his, and let your body relax.

For the first time, you were the one waking up with a huge headache and black spots in your memory. Trent was hugging your waist and even though it wasn’t unusual for you to be like that, you felt your heart twisting in your chest.

You’d miss this moments with him. A lot.

“I shouldn’t have let you convince me to drink” you groaned, making Trent giggle.

“I liked your drunk version. It’s a proper yapper”

“Why? What did I say?” you looked into his sparkly eyes. “Actually, what have I done? I can’t remember anything past the third shot, my head is burning”

You thought you had imagined the flash of pain in Trent’s eyes, the quick frown and confusion stamping his face for half a second before he smiled at you again.

“Such a lightweight girlie” he teased you, poking your waist. “There’s medicine and water next to you. Please, just don’t throw up on me”

You hadn’t realised you wanted to until he mentioned it, quickly getting on your feet and running to his ensuite.

Trent immediately followed you, crouching beside you and taking your hair out of your face. With a hand holding the hair, the other rubbed circles on your back, trying to soothe you.

“I’m sorry, pooks. I’ll never convince you to drink again” he murmured, guilty spreading through his body — over your sick state and the fact that you couldn’t remember last night.

“I appreciate it” you groaned, trying to take a deep breath. When he helped you to get on your feet and clean your face, Trent kissed your forehead.

“C’mon, we can spend the day recovering from it in the living room. A cosy afternoon with movies and snacks, uh?”

“Yeah, you owe me a last comfort day after this” you whined, tying up your hair.

The mention of it being a last moment suddenly hit you, and you looked at him with teary eyes and a fat pout.

“Don’t cry, your headache will get worse” Trent hugged you. “Shhh, if it’s the last one then let’s make it also the best one. No crying until you get on the plane”

You nodded against his chest, immediately groaning for moving your head too fast.

“First, you’ll take a shower whilst I get things ready” he spoke softly, his hands still caressing your back. “I’ll leave a shirt and a new pair of boxers on the bed”

“Ok” you mumbled, smiling when he kissed your head one more time and left the bathroom. After your shower, you wore the clothes he had left for you and tried your best to detangle your wet hair without a brush.

You should be used to feeling like an ogre every time you stayed over at his without all your stuff.

The room felt cold, and you grabbed the hoodie on his coat rack before walking to the living room, where Trent was putting a few blankets on the sofa.

“Feeling better?” he gave you a smile, tapping the sofa and waiting for you to sit. You nodded, getting comfortable and grabbing the bottle of water he offered you.

“Thank you, Trentie” you murmured, giving him a lazy smile and snuggling with him whilst he covered the pair of you.

That night, you watched various movies and ate some snacks together, always joking at something or debating about scenes.

You tried your best not to cry as he asked you to, but sometimes, looking at him when he started to laugh or throwing popcorn so he could catch it in his mouth, your eyes would tear up, missing your boy in advance.

When the last movie ended you were resting your body on his, head on his shoulder whilst Trent’s arm was around yours. He mentioned to get up, but you grabbed his t-shirt to catch his attention, and he understood as soon as he saw your eyes.

“I can hold you through it if you promise me you won’t feel guilty or sad about your decision once you leave”

Not trusting your voice, you only nodded and let him put you on his lap, laying your head on his shoulder. Trent hugged you tightly whilst you cried, grabbing his shirt on your fists.

You heard when Dianne entered the house and your best friend shook his head, telling her he got it. Losing track of time, you’re not sure how long you stayed there, pulling him closer like he was about to disappear — like he was the one leaving.

“I’m sorry” you croaked, pulling away.

His soft and empathetic smile made you tear up more, the pain in your chest something you never felt.

“Don’t be. Gotta live your dreams like I’m leaving mine, yeah? I’m not going anywhere and you’ll find me here when you need me”

“But I need you all the time” you whined. “I can’t choose my movies alone and I can’t remember the last time I had to buy a t-shirt, you’re better than me in the kitchen and the engine never dies with you”

“Anyone ever told you how much of a cry baby you are?” he smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. You could see water on his eyeline, but you knew better than to mention it.

“Yes, you” you rolled your eyes, making Trent laugh.

“Self pity time is over” he decreed, tapping your thigh. “I’ll drop you home and you’ll pack. I can’t make it to the airport though, I’ll travel to face Brighton”

You only nodded again, and Trent knows better than to force you to be like him, mascaring his pain with jokes. He kissed your head one more time and drove you home, letting you cry a bit more in the car.

Even though he was in another city when you went to the airport, he still made sure to say goodbye one more time, texting you sweet things.

After saying goodbye to your family and to Trent’s, hugging his mother and brothers before getting on your plane, you had to face what it was probably the scariest moment of your life.

Leaving everything you knew behind. The safety, the food you eat since a kid, the places you know how to get to, the country you know how to communicate in, how to walk around, what to do.

It was time to dive into the unknown, and even though you were afraid there was this voice in the back of your mind, making you go further — gotta love your dreams like I live mine.

So you placed your carry-on bag on the right compartment and took a deep breath, ready to live your dream.

—

You soon discovered that Italy was incredible, and Milan received you with open arms.

In only three months studying there, you met so many amazing people and places and day by day you felt a bit more at home.

Getting used to the streets, the food, the language, you felt the country slowly beginning to be a part of you.

On the other hand, you missed home. You couldn’t keep the promise he made you make, and some days all you could feel was guilt for choosing a life without him, your family and everything you love around.

Italy would be perfect — if they had a Trent. Which they don't.

They don’t have your best friend, who always shows up at your door on his day off to bring you coffee. The only person that would lay on your bed whilst you studied, take a nap even, only to spend some time with you.

When you think about it, Trent was the one who supported your decision most. Even more than your mother, being honest.

Of course she wanted you to be happy, but the fact that you would be happy 1285 km away from home worried her a lot, whilst Trent knew that you were about to find exactly what you’ve been wanting for years.

‘Italy is great, Y/N. You’ll love it’ he used to say, every single time you shared with him about giving up. ‘And they have the best gelato in the world’

Since you landed, you knew he was right. And that only made the decision of leaving him behind even harder.

You tried to facetime him every night to stay updated on his life and tell him about all the different things you were living, but as time passed your classes got more and more difficult, and you had to focus entirely.

This helped a bit with the sadness it filled your heart every time you thought about home, since you barely had time to miss anything or anyone, but soon Trent started to feel left aside.

You still watched his games every weekend, but every time he texted you about FaceTiming you had to decline, saying you were at the library or too busy with your notes.

Even though he understood that you were studying and that the life abroad must be really hard to cope with, he missed you and soon his grumpiness about the situation started to show up.

The last straw was when you couldn’t attend the only game you had promised you would. Everybody knew how important it would be for Trent to face United in the conditions they were in, and you really wanted to be there for him, but you needed to prioritise your exams week.

You explained to him that it would be really risky buying the tickets without knowing if you’d need to so a recuperative exam on Saturday, and Trent understood. He supported you through it, always asking how you were feeling and if the exams were really that hard, but you could feel the change in his humour.

By the end of the week, you had successfully finished the semester, and when your friends decided to go out Sunday afternoon you didn’t hesitated.

Theo, Paola and Veronica were also abroad students and you clicked with them immediately in the beginning of the course. They were your study group and the ones you’d get out with in a city you don’t have anyone else.

Having a brunch and a few drinks, it didn’t take long for you to return home, wanting to watch the game.

You took a shower and got into comfy clothes, selecting a few pictures of your afternoon and posting them on Instagram before getting in bed and turning the TV on.

Trent’s face on the line-up art was the last thing you saw before blacking out, a sleep deprived week taking its toll on you.

—

The first thing Trent did after changing and getting out of the stadium was trying to call you. When you didn’t answer, he sent you a text, and when this one was unanswered as well he gave up, snorting before checking his Instagram.

He wish he hadn’t, because the first post he saw made his tummy hurt, and soon he was grabbing a hoodie and leaving home, walking past a few houses before knocking at his friends’ door.

Saffie opened it for him, and he tried to smile.

“Curtis is back already?” was the first thing he asked, and she immediately knew something was bothering him.

“Yeah, he’s in the living room. Get in” she gave Trent space to enter and he waited for her to close the door, not wanting to be rude and run to Curtis.

“How are you doing, Saffie?” Trent asked, gesticulating to her belly.

He was, obviously, not the best with words and sentimental things.

“I’m good” Saffie smiled. “It’s still so early, but we’re excited. Curtis is really happy. I’m sorry by today’s results, by the way”

Trent smiled appreciatively and nodded, following her to the living room. When Curtis saw who it was at the door, he frowned.

“Wow! Who died?” he chuckled, getting on his feet and walking towards Trent.

“Curtis, don’t be rude” his girlfriend scoffed at him before leaving the pair of them so she could finish dinner.

“She was out today” Trent mumbled. “And she didn’t even answered my texts”

Jones instantly sighed, knowing damn well what Trent was talking about. Everybody in the club knew.

“Maybe she didn’t saw the result-”

“C’mon Curtis” Trent threw himself on the sofa. “It’s not about the result, she was supposed to be here and I was supposed to win this one for her. I thought she would at least watch the game. But instead we had an ugly draw and she is out with some ugly Italian”

Even though you posted the picture before the kickoff time, the only explanation for your lack of response was that you were still with the guy. An ugly one, according to Trent’s standards,

“Oh, I see” Curtis giggled. “You’re jealous”

“What? I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I’m the best friend. She calls me every night, her family loves me, she knows me more than anyone and she tells me everything whilst this guy doesn’t even know her favourite colour”

“Which is…” Curtis raised an eyebrow, but Trent only rolled his eyes before answering.

“Red, of course. And golden” he mumbled, fidgeting with his shirt.

Curtis sighed, walking towards Trent and tapping his head affectionately.

“And she told you about him?”

“She said she had made some friends, he might be one of them” Trent shrugged, taking his phone out of his pocket and searching for your post, showing it to Curtis.

“Doesn’t look like a friendly night out” Curtis teased him. Of course it did, with your two friends together, but he always liked to pour salt in Trent’s wounds. They grew up doing that to each other.

“It might be not totally friendly but it’s not a date either. If it was a date she’d be wearing a dress. She has a special dress for date nights”

“And you know that because…”

Trent smirked, feeling a bit more secure of himself.

“I helped her to choose it. Told you Curtis, there’s no reason to be jealous. The guy can try but he’s not me”

“Well, at least he has the courage to call her out” Curtis chuckled, running out of the living room before Trent could shoot him with his cold eyes. “Come have dinner with us, cry baby. Saffie made baked potatoes”

Trent lazily got up from the sofa, walking to the kitchen, and the place smelled really good.

“Aw, the baby wanted potatoes?” he teased.

Curtis laughed, but shook his head.

“Oh no, she doesn’t have cravings yet”

Trent passed through him, slapping the back of his head and entering the kitchen.

“I know, you are the baby in question” he giggled, smiling when Saffie burst into laughter.

—

When you woke up, the first thing you saw was the uncountable number of missed calls from Trent, guilty instantly spreading over your chest.

It was easy to unblock your phone and see the Liverpool widget telling you the last game’s result. 2-2, a draw that you were sure it felt like a loss for him.

Quickly clicking Trent’s contact to call him, you got up.

“Trentie?” you asked when a groan sounded on the other side, beating yourself when you remembered he was a year behind it was probably too early for him. “I’m so so so sorry. How are you feeling?”

“Mhm” he mumbled, making you sigh. “Sorry, I just feel awful, there’s not much to say”

“It wasn’t your fault. I know it was an important game but there’s still time, don’t be too hard on yourself. You can focus on helping the team in the next game, yeah?”

“I can’t” he snorted. “Hamstring again”

You felt your heart drop. It was his first injury since you left, and if you already used to feel helpless when next to him, the feeling only got worse being so far away.

“I’m so sorry, Trent. They told you how many weeks?”

The silence showed you that he was still trying to cope with it, and you felt even sadder.

“Not yet” he mumbled.

You thought about how to make him feel better, wanting nothing more than to comfort your best friend.

“You could… like” you stuttered, not knowing if it was the right time. “I’m not sure, I thought you could come here. For a few days, but now that I said it I’m thinking you probably need to take care of your injury and you can’t have mini vacations just because you’re hurt”

It took him a couple of minutes to answer, and you could even imagine his mind working whilst biting his lower lip.

“Liverpool plays against Atalanta this Thursday” Trent murmured. “Google says it’s forty minutes away from you. I think I could go with the team on Wednesday and stay until Friday morning. I’m already having physio sessions so I’d just be two days without it”

“Are you sure?” you bit your lower lip, the bubble of excitement growing in your stomach.

“I mean… I should rest, but I really need to see you” he murmured, and your heart ached. When in England, you were the one Trent always ran to when he got this type of news.

Finding comfort in your hugs, a cuddle session, some ice cream and scalp scratches. You know that the same way he’s yours, you’re his safe person.

“I’ll be waiting for you then. I can pick you up in Bergamo”

“Deal” he yawned, and the sound made you smile. “Now, if you let me…”

You laughed, nodding even though he couldn’t see

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, go back to your sleep”

“I love you” he murmured after another yawn, warming your heart.

“I love you too. Sweet dreams, mwah” you sent him a kiss before turning the call off and get ready to start your day.

—

The start of the week quickly passed through you. The classes were fun and you had coffee dates for study with the girls, even though you couldn’t keep your eyes off of your phone, tacking every minute.

Every minute until you could see Trent after months apart.

During Monday and Tuesday, your mind often got lost in thoughts. You wondered if it would be weird at first, if you both had already forgotten how to be around each other.

The idea made you nervous. Like it was years apart from him, instead of only six months.

By Wednesday morning you had already convinced yourself that Trent would hate everything about Italy and this new version of you. That you’d both discover you don’t understand each other anymore and that the friendship of twenty years had come to and end because of your choice of moving away.

Trying to survive during the day was the hardest. You went to your class and tried to ease your feelings with your favourite coffee, but soon it was time to make the drive to Bergamo so you could be there once they landed.

The forty minutes in your car with your favourite playlist eased your feelings a bit, and soon you were in the airport’s parking lot.

Biting your lips furiously, you started to bounce your leg as the minutes seemed to stop passing. The turmoil in your head coming back even stronger and getting the best of you as fear won over excitement.

When a light knock on your window woke you up from your trance, you slightly jumped before meeting your favourite pair of eyes.

Trent tilted his head to the side and smiled at you, waiting for you to open the door. With your hands slightly shaking, you pushed it a bit and stood there, looking at him as if you were trying to confirm if he was real.

“Forgot how to hug me or something?” he raised his eyebrows, and you realised how you’ve missed even his annoying teasing tone.

“Maybe” you croaked, your eyes immediately filled with tears.

“Hey no, what’s wrong?” he left his bag on the floor, quickly leaning to hug you as best as he could with the space he was given.

You took a deep breath, inhaling Trent’s scent and finally giving your body permission to relax.

“I’ve just missed you” you murmured, your lips brushing against the crook of his neck. His arms around you dissolved the tension and the worries you’ve been feeling since leaving home, making you feel silly.

Trent and you could never not like each other anymore. You would always understand him, and he would always be there for you.

“Yeah, I know the feeling. But I’m here” he kissed the top of your head, arms tightening around your shoulders. “I’m here”

You took a deep breath, pulling away from his hug just in time to see the team waking to their van, smiling at them.

“Take care of my boy, Y/N” Virgil shouted, giggling and waving at you. Trent gave him his middle finger, hugging you again.

Laughing, you waved back to them before telling Trent to get in. When you finally got home, you helped him to take his bag inside, leaving it in the living room before throwing yourself on your sofa.

“Come here, I think we need a healing cuddle” you called him, lying down and opening your arms.

Trent giggled and walked towards you, carefully lying his body on top of yours.

“I missed this so much” Trent groaned, snuggling further into you. “Tyler wouldn’t let me cuddle with him after a bad game”

“That’s why I’m your best friend, not him” you giggled, brushing your fingers over his forehead. “How’s everything at the club?”

“I don’t know how to explain that it feels like we’re falling apart at the same time that we’re reinventing ourselves” he murmured, his pout making you smile.

“Changes are difficult. The transition, when you’re not sure about the future. When everything feels scary and uncertain. But once it happens, you’ll feel the hope of better days and the eager to live these days”

Trent hummed, nodding before staying silent again. After a few minutes, you checked only to see him peacefully sleeping with his mouth slightly open.

Letting him rest, you kept looking at his features. Tracing his lips and his nose, going to his eyebrows and brushing his cheeks.

“My skincare is giving results?” he spoke suddenly, scaring you and giggling at your heart beats getting higher. “Strong heart, you have”

“Which skincare you’ve been doing?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I call it ‘using all the products my best friend left behind’, and I think it’s working” he giggled, making you slap his head slightly. “I’ll buy you new ones, I swear”

“I hope so” you rolled your eyes playfully. “C’mon, let’s get into bed before we end up staying the whole night on the sofa”

“Wow Y/N, you say this to every man who comes here?” he teased you, but you only rolled your eyes again.

“No one comes here, Trent. That’s what you wanna know?” you poked his cheek.

“That’s exactly what I wanna know, thank you” he kissed your chin before getting on his feet and helping you.

You asked if he wanted to eat something before taking a nap, but Trent only said he’d rather have dinner later, which would be a good option if any of you had actually woken up for dinner.

—

“You’re sure you wanna lose class to watch the game?” he whined the next morning.

The pair of you ended up sleeping through the whole night, only waking up when your alarm went off.

You had given him breakfast and he took a shower before you told him you wanted to watch the game, having bought the tickets when he said he’d be going.

“Trent, I haven't seen my club for months now. Plus, with you I have special treatment” you smirked, laughing when he rolled his eyes. “We still can go out tonight, I’m sure there’s nice places around Bergamo”

“Fine, let’s go then” he groaned, wanting nothing more than to just cuddle with you all day instead of facing a game he wouldn’t be able to play in.

But Trent would accept anything that could make you happier, so he grabbed his coat and followed you outside. You decided to leave home early so you both wouldn’t need to rush, respecting his injury.

The drive was filled with Trent’s laugh at every embarrassed moment you told him about, letting him know that the first months trying to speak in Italian had made you dirty a lot.

When you finally parked at Atalanta’s stadium, he sighed and opened the door, but you grabbed his wrist before he could leave.

“You’re here as a fan. Let’s not stress” you smiled, but the small nod he gave you made you sigh. “Trent…”

“I’m good. Honestly, let’s not pay attention to me, we’re here so you can see your favourite boys” he opened the car’s door.

You sighed, looking at him. “You are my favourite boy”

“A broken one” he rolled his eyes, quickly getting out of the car and shutting the door. You didn’t move, knowing he’d want to open your door for you and not wanting him to force his leg trying to get there faster.

Once he opened it, you got on your feet and waited for him to close it before circling his torso and laying your head in his shoulder. It took a while for him to relax in your arms, resting his face on top of yours.

“I love you” you whispered, feeling guilty for dragging him with you. “You could’ve told me you really didn’t want to come”

“I will always do anything you ask me for” Trent shrugged, and you knew it was true.

“You don’t have to if this won’t make you happy as well” you pulled away, cupping his chin. “What doesn’t make you happy also doesn’t make me happy. Got it?”

“Yeah” he nodded, rolling his eyes playfully. “But we’re already here, so move your fat ass and get inside”

You chuckled, always amazed with how he’d always brush the hard times with a joke.

The game was a true nightmare, and you could see Trent squirming on the seat next to yours. He wanted to be there and make a difference, and the fact he couldn’t hurt him a lot.

“We don’t need to wait for the game to end” you squeezed his knee, feeling bad for putting him there when the relief flooded his expression.

Soon you were in the stadium’s parking lot. A few football fans tried to stop him for pictures and you could see it hurt him to say no, so you started to dismiss them for him.

Choosing to drive to a bar you liked when you visited Bergamo, you order for you and for Trent before sitting in a booth.

“Feeling better?” you smiled at him. Trent nodded, and you caressed his chin.

“I’m sorry for ruining the game” he sighed.

“Well, if someone ruined the game it was definitely not you” you joked. “Don’t feel sorry for being unhappy or uncomfortable with something, Trent. You don’t need to be funny all the time for me to like you, and you should know that by now”

“Y/N?” a male voice interrupted you. When you looked up, your colleague from university smiled at you.

“Theo! Hi, what are you doing here?” you greeted him excitedly. “This is Trent, he’s visiting from England. Trent, this is Theo. He’s my classmate”

You weren’t expecting to see any of your friends out since you and Trent were a bit far away, but it was nice to show a part of your new life to your best friend.

“Oh, aren’t you the-” Theo pointed at him, frowning.

“Yeah” Trent didn’t try to be gentle or decent, but you didn’t judge him since you knew his current situation.

“He doesn’t want to talk about it today, Theo” you explained.

“Of course” your colleague looked at Trent and then at the TV in one of the walls. “I’m in the way of something?”

“Yes-” Trent snorted, but you unintentionally cut him.

“You can sit with us if you want” you smiled. Theo chose to sit on your other side of the booth, and you stayed in the middle of the two man like a salami in a sandwich.

It was all over Trent’s face that he didn’t like having to share his best friend when he had so little time together with you, but you only squeezed his hand.

Holding your hand on his lap the entire time, Trent even tried to be socially decent sometimes, but you knew him good enough. Talking with strangers wasn’t his cup of tea, and he’d rather stay home and not talk with anyone at all. Anyone besides you.

As time passed by, it got really late. Since you and Trent had agreed that he’d stay in Bergamo he refused to let you go back home alone in the night.

After saying goodbye to Theo, the pair of you found a hotel to spend the night in so you could drive home safely in the morning.

You thought you could have a funny night together and ask something in the room service, but as soon as you got inside and took off your jacket and shoes Trent turned to face you.

“I didn’t like the way he’s with you” he rolled his eyes. “He looks clingy”

You frowned at him, throwing your bag in the corner. Trent can be a bit possessive over the people he cares about, so you weren’t actually surprised.

“You don’t even know him, Trent”

“Well, I don’t care. I don’t like him. The way he kept staring at me and trying to get closer to you like he thought it was some kind of competition or what? If you want the girl it sounds stupid trying to fight her best friend”

You turned to face him, surprised to find his eyebrows together and his lips in a firm line.

“He doesn’t know you’re my best friend” you shrugged.

“Oh, no?” Trent raised his eyebrows, and you could tell that the fact you weren’t making clear to someone that you had a best friend hurt him a bit. But more than that, he looked annoyed. “I wonder how you would’ve felt if it was the opposite”

You chuckled, not understanding his point. “What do you mean?”

“If a girl was hitting on me and I never told her about my best friend” he crossed his arms. “If I never made it clear I have a close and deep connection with another girl”

You rolled your eyes, still not understanding where he was trying to get, and your action made him huff.

“Plenty of girls hit on you all the time” you told him, unbothered.

“And I always make sure they know about you” he pointed out.

“So what?” you shrugged. “I didn’t tell him, I’m sorry”

“You didn’t tell him because you’re starting to forget about me” Trent finally snapped. “You think I didn’t notice how you barely have time to call me or to even text me about your day? You couldn’t make it to the game and I get it but I thought you would at least watch it instead of going out for some kisses”

He gave you a sharp look, and it bothered you. It bothered you that he thought you needed to tell a guy you had a intimate friendship with him only ecause he hoped this would keep them away, whilst you had to sit in Italy and read the multiple articles about his different ‘things’ during the last months.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Trent” you got in the defensive mode, even more annoyed that he thought you missed the game because you were with Theo when you were actually forced to rest by your own body.

“Never said it does. But I can’t be upset? I can’t be upset you didn’t even mention me to him?” he raised his hands in the air, starting to gesticulate. “I mention you to every girl I hang out with because I need them to like you, Y/N. If I’m dating someone, I need them to know you were there first. And if they have any problem with you, then I need to know from the beginning so I won’t find myself in love with someone that wants you out of my life. Not that the decision would be hard to take, but it would hurt a lot to break up with someone I’m already used to”

“Theo would never ask me to get away from my best friend” you defended your colleague only by the need to refute Trent. In reality, you don't know how he’d act.

And you don't want to know, because you never saw him as nothing more than a colleague. No one could make you choose between them or Trent.

“Of course he wouldn’t” Trent screamed, and you were taken aback. “He doesn’t even know you have one”

You never heard him screamc not with you, not with anyone around him. It didn’t scare you. Instead, the urgency to understand his feelings for once got the best of you.

“Why the hell are you so fucking angry?” you sighed, lowering your voice.

Trent didn’t look you in the eyes, turning his back to you when he spoke on one go without even pausing to breathe.

“That city doesn’t even feel like home when you’re not there and I’ve been waiting for you to come back so I can be whole again whilst you’re here kissing a fucking Italian that doesn’t even know I exist because you didn’t think I was important enough to be mentioned” he’s voice was low, and despite the meaning of what he was saying was important, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“He’s German, Trent”

Your best friend turned to face you, and you knew you hurt him by not acknowledging his confession. In the end, that’s why he always choose to keep his sentimental words to himself.

“I don’t fucking care, he can go to hell” he muttered under his breath. You knew that he was showing you a vulnerable side of him, and you could stop the fight whenever you wanted to.

Instead, you chose that moment to say what you’ve been carrying with you for a while.

“At least when he tries to hit on me he doesn’t forget about it the next morning” you murmured back. “And he definitely doesn't want me only when he’s drunk”

Trent was close enough to grab your wrist and pull you against him, making you gasp surprisedly.

“I want you all the time. I might have had a few drinks tonight, Y/N, and I might have made you believe I was heavily drunk every time I wanted to kiss you, but I still want you when I’m sober, and I’m sober enough to know what I’m talking about” he murmured. “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t forget about this one”

You didn’t see the kiss coming. Trent kissed you harshly, his hands cupping your face like he was afraid you would run away from him, his grip tight on your waist instead of cupping your face softly like he always did.

It all escalated too fast with the pair of you desperate and carried away by the intensity of your argument, and it didn’t take long for you to be laid in bed with him on top of you.

You took off his white t-shirt, throwing it across the room before getting back at kissing him.

“Are you sure?” he murmured, distributing kisses alongside your neck and you nodded.

Trent stopped his kisses to grab your chin between his fingers, forcing you to stare into his eyes. “Words”

“I think you should ask this for yourself, Trent” you smiled ironically, making him chuckle.

“Never thought you could be such a fucking brat. Just answer me” he tightened his grip.

You took a while to observe his eyes, his breath, the way his lips were curved on a teasing smile.

“I am pretty sure”

He was quickly to slide your panties down your legs after your verbal consent, getting comfortable between your legs.

Before you used to think that it would at least feel weird, doing this with him. But the truth is that you were so attracted to Trent that this thought didn’t even cross your mind at that moment.

Gently working you up, Trent teased you for a while before inserting his finger. Respecting your time and always asking if you were good, he inserted a second making you squirm.

“Relax f’me, princess” he murmured against your temple, and you shivered at the pet name. “So deliciously tight, uh?”

When his fingers didn’t feel like intruders anymore Trent scissored you, smiling to the contorted expression on your face. He kept the pace torturously slow, building your pleasure.

The first moan that slipped your mouth made Trent’s mind go blank. The way his dick pulsated inside his boxers, the goosebump travelling down his back, the way he felt his own moan almost falling from his lips.

A second later, he wanted to make you do it again.

“Does he make you feel like that?” Trent murmured against your ear, only making your situation worse whilst his fingers reached deep and his thumb caressed your clit. “Do any of them?”

“Trent-” you whined, feeling empty when he removed his fingers and adjusted himself, going down until his face was between your legs.

“So fucking wet. What do you need, baby? Tell me want do you want from me”

“Everything” you were able to whisper, closing your eyes when he kissed your clit, brushing his lips against you.

“You look good enough to eat” Trent brushed his nose between your folds, making you gasp. “And I’m so fucking starved”

When he closed his lips on your clit, you closed your eyes, throwing your head back and letting it fall down on the pillow.

Trent felt goosebumps when you whined for him and his tongue kept exploring you, savouring every part of the new found paradise, coming back to tease your clit and casually sliding deeper every time.

You cried out, your moans getting whinier by every second, and soon found out that your moans were now his favourite sound, trying harder every time to make you whine and beg louder than before.

Trent couldn’t hold his own hips at the sound of you so desperate underneath him, pressing them down so the friction against the bed would help him ease the pain.

He used his hand to pull his dick out of his boxers before inserting his fingers in you again, pumping them faster whilst his lips would suck your clit precisely and the pleasure was too good to be true.

You could feel your body hot everywhere, the pressure on your stomach and the warmth on your pussy driving you crazy.

“God, Trent” you whined, scratching the back of his neck, rolling your hips when you felt his smile against you.

He pulled his face away, his fingers never stopping whilst he grind his hips on the silky bed sheets, groaning at the sensation and looking at you with swollen lips and bright eyes,

“C’mon, be good and cum for me” he whispered, kissing your tummy before placing his mouth back at where you needed him. Gripping on his shoulder and sinking your nails in his skin, you let your high reach you.

When you tugged your fingers on his hair, pressing his face further whilst he guided you through your orgasm, he shamelessly came on his boxers, moaning loudly against you.

Recovering from his high, Trent laid beside you and brought you closer to lay your head on his chest, a hand around your shoulder whilst he took deep breaths.

The pair of you spent a few minutes like this, in silence. He looked at the ceiling, thinking of what had just happened meant for your friendship.

The fact that he would be going back to England by the morning and leaving you behind suddenly hit him, and he could swear he was about to have a panic attack.

“I can’t do this” Trent whispered, and your breath instantly hitched in your throat, your heart twisting in your chest.

Your cheeks were burning and you could feel the humiliation sinking in, and you wondered if you could get your clothes and lock yourself in the bathroom before collapsing.

“We shouldn’t have done this” he said again, and the pain you felt on your chest was becoming unbearable.

“I heard you the first time” you muttered, quickly getting on your feet and starting to look for your things.

“I’m coming back to England and you’re staying here…” he closed his eyes, cursing himself for letting you both get so carried away.

“I got it, Trent” you raised your voice a bit, and he finally looked at you. “We shouldn’t have done this. You wish we hadn’t”

“I didn’t say that” he immediately said, taken aback by the change in your tone.

You quickly wore your skirt, unsuccessfully trying to find the corset. Groaning, you took the shirt you had just taken off of him and wore it, looking for your purse whilst he sat on the bed, his hand supporting his weight.

“What are you doing?” Trent frowned, hopelessly watching you walking around the room.

“Going home. I have classes tomorrow morning” you mumbled, not trusting yourself to stay there any more. “I’ll return the shirt later”

He looked at you, the messy and loose hair. Trent wanted you to come back to bed and sleep, but your behaviour confused him.

“We’re in the middle of the night you can’t drive alone-”

“I can’t stay here, Trent” you cut him and stopped by the door, the urgency in your voice making him flinch.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, not even looking at you. His head was spinning and he couldn’t properly understand what was happening.

You looked at him one last time, his bare torso, the strong arms supporting his weight, the marked jaw.

“I’m sorry too. For believing when you said you wanted this and letting you go on” you muttered before leaving.

Trent’s mouth opened in surprise, his dizzy mind trying to fight the slowness he’d always get in after his orgasm, but you quickly left the room and he knew it was too late.

—

After reading Trent’s message before turning on the engine, you drove the forty minutes home trying your best not to cry, focused on the street.

The playlist making you company was constantly playing sad love songs, and you couldn’t stop repeating the whole night in your head.

As soon as you got home, you immediately headed to the bathroom, seeking some comfort and wanting to wash the evidence of what just happened.

Running a bath in the middle of the night was unusual for you, but you didn’t want a rushed shower. You needed to relax, so you waited for it to fill with hot water and took your clothes off, carefully entering the bath.

The water’s temperature embraced your body, and you sighed deeply.

You didn’t hear from him anymore that day and you were sure he was trying to respect your space, but for some reason that was not what you wanted.

What you really wanted was for him to call you. To try to fix this, somehow. To tell you that it was ok that you both got into this situation because that was all he ever wanted, just like you.

Now, you don’t even know if all those things he said before going to bed with you were real.

When the water got cold you decided that the best would be to get in bed, quickly drying yourself and looking for a pyjama. Not being able to find one in the middle of the night and too tired to keep searching, you reluctantly wore the hoodie Trent left at yours before you headed to the game, his smell immediately engulfing you.

Laying in bed and getting comfortable beneath the sheets, you allowed your body to feel what it needed to, and it wasn’t long until strong sobs were shaking your body.

You couldn’t lose Trent. But at the same time, you had no idea how you’d be capable of looking at him and chatting with him without letting your feelings get the best of you.

You knew it was unfair to ignore his messages without an explanation, so you quickly typed one, which Trent was quick to answer.

Sighing, you locked your phone and tried to sleep, the uncertainty about your friendship’s future consuming you through the night.

—

A month without Trent was the worst thing you had to go through in a while. Before everything, he is your best friend.

The guy who’ll hear anything you have to say, that’ll spend hours on the phone, that’ll bring you something cute because it reminded him of you.

The silly, caring and funny Trent. The other half of you.

You had already decided you wouldn’t go to England during your break, your feelings too messy to be deal with right now, when your mother told you that the whole family was invited for Klopp’s last game.

‘I respect your decision of not coming home during your weeks off, but he really needs you. I’m just checking if you’re totally sure about it’

You thought that the worst you’ve felt during your friendship with Trent was the last time you saw him, but hearing your mother telling you how he begged her to allow him to stay in your room for a while, where she heard him crying for hours, completely broke you.

So without even blinking you immediately bought the plane ticket after the call, and started to pack up your essentials. You knew that in the end two weeks could reveal to be too much, but you chose to risk it.

Whilst you picked up your favourite outfits, you analysed the situation. Of course a friendship so long like yours would face a harrowing moment at some point.

After that night, you were sure your feelings were real, but you couldn’t blame Trent for trying to understand — and in the end, feeling different than you.

You know you want him close. You need your best friend around, and you need things to be ok between you two.

Even if for that to happen you must bury your romantic feelings for him, pretending like you never felt them.

Landing in Liverpool the day of the game, you were happy to see your father in the airport, giving him a tight hug.

He drove you directly to Anfield, and you were able to enter the family box during the warm up. Not wanting your best friend to spot you with his family and get distracted, you stayed in the box d most of the time.

Even when you went to the stands, you made sure to stay away from everyone he knew and would look for. During Klopp’s farewell, you allowed yourself to get closer to his brothers, knowing that he would be too focused on the boss.

The goodbye was painful to you. Being a Liverpool fan your whole life, you and Trent spent all these years with Jürgen, and whilst the tears felt down your cheeks without any sign of stopping soon your only thought was how hurt your boy was feeling on the pitch.

Your question was answered when a footage of Trent with teary eyes showed up on the stadium screens, making you choke on your own saliva.

Not having the strength to be a part of the lap of honour, you waited with your mum and dad whilst Trent’s family went to the pitch to celebrate the end of the season, and watching him playing with Aura and feeling so happy with his loved ones around him settled your heart.

You smiled down at your phone, sitting on the box sofa and chatting with your father. When Tyler came running and hugged you, you started to laugh, knowing he was trying to piss Trent off.

When your best friend showed up at the door, you smiled softly at him.

“Y/N?” Trent gasped, not expecting to see you there. His wet and puffy eyes made your heart twist, and without thinking of anything else you opened your arms to him.

He threw himself at you, pushing Tyler away, and his strong arms hugged your torso tightly. Holding his shoulders just as tight, you sighed in his embrace.

You watched both of your families leave the room, more to give Trent privacy after what he just had gone through, and you hugged him even tighter.

“Oh, pookie. I’m so sorry you’re going through this” you scratched his scalp, and Trent relaxed against your body.

When he didn’t answer you thought he simply didn’t know what to say, but after a few seconds you realised Trent was slightly shaking, and soon you could hear the strong sobs washing over him.

You let him cry, a hand rubbing circles on his lower back whilst the other kept scratching his scalp until he was able to calm down, fifteen minutes later.

“Baby, hey” you tried to pull away so you could look at him, but he only clung to you tighter, decided not to let you see his face. “Look at me, Alexander”

“So you can see how weak I am?” his croaked voice cut you deeply.

“Trent. Look at me” you firmly asked, finally being able to cup his face in your hands when he pulled his head out of your neck. “Being emotional and sensitive about something isn’t being weak”

His teary eyes looked back at yours, the sight of the trail of tears making your heart drop.

“I had lots of weeks to prepare for this” his hoarse voice made you pout, stroking his chin.

“Doesn’t matter” you brushed his tears out of his face. “You’re allowed to cry when you lose something important. We all know you’re tough and strong, and crying sometimes won’t change that”

“Thank you” he sniffed, still holding you close to him. “I don’t deserve you”

“Don’t be silly. Took you twenty years to realise that?”

You tried to make him giggle, but Trent only shook his head.

“No. I’ve always known” he looked you in the eyes, so intense that you felt like he was seeing you naked again.

When Dianne opened the door to check on you, you cleared your throat.

“I’ll go home, spend some time with mom. But I see you later, yeah?” you smiled, and Trent only nodded, reluctantly letting go of you.

“I was just thinking-” he stuttered, and you stroked his chin.

“It’s okay, Trentie. Don’t worry” you reassured him. Your best friend looked at you with a lost expression and you tiptoed to kiss his cheek. “I won’t lose you because we made a mistake, it’ll be like nothing ever happened. Just me and you again”

Even though you didn’t want it to be like it never happened, you knew it was necessary for your friendship to survive. Not acknowledging that you had sex with your childhood best friend would make him stay as your childhood best friend.

“How many days are you staying?”

“Two weeks. I won’t run from you, Trent” you giggled, but the insecurity in his eyes made you stop. He could be feeling it in a different way, but it was clear that what happened affected him too. “I’ll stop by your house Wednesday, alright?”

When Dianne asked him if he was leaving with them, he quickly nodded and kissed your forehead.

“See ya then” he murmured, leaving you alone with your thoughts and that weird feeling in your stomach.

—

The few days with your family were much needed. You were excited to tell them about the things you hadn’t had the time to say on the phone yet, and your mother wanted to know everything.

If you were seeing someone, how’s the college, your favourite italian meals. Everything. Your mother wanted to know all the details, while dad was focused on hugging you like you could disappear.

In three nights straight, you all had dinner together before grabbing sweet treats for a sleepover in the living room, watching movies together and sleeping with your parents like you were eight years old. It was the best three nights you had for a while.

On Wednesday morning you woke up lazily, trying to kill time so it would take you longer to see Trent.

When your mother knocked on the door to call you for breakfast, you groaned for her to enter the room.

“I want to talk about something…” you murmured as soon as it was just you and her, and she smiled whilst sitting on the bed.

“Of course, my sweet girl. We can talk about anything”

You took a deep breath and changed to a sitting position, avoiding her eyes to muster up the courage and only looking at her when you felt ready to talk.

“Do you remember when Trent visited me last month?”

Your eyes full of tears explained everything she needed to know.

“Oh, Y/N…” she quickly embraced you in her arms. “Have you guys kissed?”

“I wish” you let your tears fall, not having the strength to hold it and wanting your mother to comfort you. “It was so much worse”

So you told her everything. From the silly and drunk kisses you both would share every party to him saying you shouldn’t have gone too far. The month without talking to them and having to pretend nothing happened for the sake of your friendship.

When she was about to answer you, someone knocked on the bedroom’s door.

“Uhm” your father cleared his throat whilst already entering the room, scaring you and your mother. “Excuse me”

“Were you hearing behind the door?” you looked at him with a shocked expression, immediately feeling shy.

“I’m sorry” he gave you an apologetic smile. “But if you allow me to stick my nose on your business for a bit, I have some opinions about that”

“Dad…” you felt ashamed. The last thing you wanted was your father talking about your sex life, even though he had always been chill about the subject.

“Y/N, I know you’re not my little girl anymore. That’s ok, we did our best to raise you for these moments, to the world. But I can’t hear all that you said and stay quiet. All I have to say is, don’t be unfair to Trent”

“What do you mean?” you frowned, wiping the tears from your face.

“That as much as you’re afraid of losing your best friend, he might be too. That what you thought was rejection could be simply fear” your father sat on the bed beside you, hugging you closer.

“Why would you think that when he clearly said he couldn’t do this?” you rested your head on his shoulder.

“It was how we started” your mother shyly answered. “We were best friends and one night, there was this party… we had too many drinks and it happened”

You never knew that. Actually, the only thing your parents told you about how they met was that your mother has been hard to conquer, and you also never asked about it. You always thought that they’d tell you in their own time.

“The next morning your mother woke up terrified and told me we shouldn’t have done that. I remember that she was picking up her clothes from the floor and saying that we crossed a line that shouldn’t be crossed” he chuckled. “We were scared, you know? I was scared that she didn’t like me that way and that’s why she ran, when actually she ran because she thought I slept with her just because I got carried away”

“But-” you tried to argue, but your father cut you.

“If we haven’t talked later and opened up, besides not being a couple today I’m pretty sure the friendship wouldn’t have survived. Look how funny, we were running away from our feelings so we wouldn’t ruin what we had, but running can be exactly the reason for you both to fall apart”

“I don’t know” you sighed, and your mother’s hand immediately started to rub your back.

“You don’t need to talk about that right now, Y/N” she comforted you. “Do it in your own time, but if we can give you any advice, it is for you to do it before going back to Italy. Distance is cruel, and paired with miscommunication can cause irreparable damage”

You stayed in silence for a few minutes, letting the new informations sink in.

“I’ll think… I’ll think about it” you nodded, cleaning your face again. “Gotta face him now tho, so if you excuse me”

Your parents giggled, and gave them a hug before getting in the shower to quickly get ready, suddenly wanting to be there soon.

Wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, you tied your hair in a ponytail before applying sunscreen, and borrowed your father’s car.

After the quick ride, you nervously rang Trent’s doorbell, and Marcel excitedly opened it to you.

“Y/N!” he screamed, and with all the fear and nerves directed to Trent you ended up forgetting that his family also hadn’t seen you for six months, and you couldn’t talk much during the match. “You’re taller?”

“Oh, shut up Marcel. You don’t need to remind me that you’re like the Eiffel tower” you giggled, hugging him tight.

“Why did you scream Y/N’s name?” Trent showed up at the door, wearing only his sleep shorts. Nothing you hadn’t seen before, but you still felt your cheeks getting hot at the sight of him.

He stopped in his tracks, looking at you like you were a ghost.

“Hi?” you giggled, finding it amusing how he blinked his eyes slowly.

“Oh” his smile grew wilder, and he soon was pushing Marcel to the side so he could give you a hug.

“That’s not fair, you’re not the only one that missed her” Marcel complained, but Trent was pretty good at ignoring the youngest.

“Let him be, Marcel. You know he’s a bit possessive” you could hear Dianne’s voice.

“The thing is that he’s not, mum. That’s the Y/N effect” Marcel complained, following his mother to the kitchen.

Trent engulfed you in his arms, and it was like the world didn’t exist anymore. You couldn’t hear his family nor the cars on the street. The only thing your ears could focus on was his steady heartbeat.

“As much as I love your hugs, I’m freezing” you giggled, but Trent only inverted your bodies so now you were inside the house. “And I don’t want you naked on the street, you’ll get sick”

“I’ll get sick or you’re being jealous?” he giggled, closing the door without breaking the hug. “I missed you”

“I missed you too” you ignored the first part, laughing when he started to walk while still hugging you.

“She won’t disappear if you let her go” Michael teased him from up the stairs.

“Hi uncle Mike” you yelped when Trent took you off the ground and walked into the living room.

“Hi Y/N, don’t let the boys bother you too much” he smiled whilst crossing the room and blowing you a kiss. “Stay for dinner so we can talk, I’ll be right back”

You nodded awkwardly since Trent was on top of you, your body pressed against the sofa whilst he snuggled you.

“I missed you” he murmured, and you felt warm inside. No matter what you say to yourself, having Trent’s attention would always make you giddy and soft. “I missed you so much”

“Missed you too buddy, but you’ll crush my bones” you giggled when he finally pulled away so you could breathe.

“You know what, you should come with me to Monaco” he smiled, proud of his idea. “So we can spend some time together”

You sat on the sofa, carefully thinking about what he said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Don’t wanna ruin your boys trip” you told him honestly. “It’s your time off after a long season”

Trent sat next to you, and you rested your face on his shoulder.

“Cmon, you only have two weeks off and I don’t want to spend one of them far away from you. It’ll be fun, Tyler and Marcel will love having you around for a few days”

Suddenly coming from the kitchen, Marcel threw himself besides Trent.

“Yeah Y/N, come with us. It’s a brother's trip, and you’re like a sister. At least to some of us” he chuckled, and you straightened your body to frown at him.

“Shut up” Trent scolded his brother, and soon they were pushing each other and playfully fighting.

Dianne came out of the kitchen, giving them a flat look.

“Boys, Y/N didn’t come here to see this” she sighed. “They look like five years old, don’t they? Come here darling, help me out with the cupcakes”

You happily followed her into the kitchen. Her energy has always embraced yours, and after your mum, Dianne is the oldest woman you like to talk to the most.

“Oh, Y/N! We missed you so much, darling” she smiled softly, taking the cupcakes out of the oven. “How’s Italy? Everything you ever dreamed about?”

“Italy is good, Di” you smiled back, smelling the cakes. “They just don’t have…”

“Trent” she put them in front of you, giggling.

Sometimes, his mother knows you too well for your liking.

“Yeah” you admitted shyly.

Taking the coloured buttercream frosting she gave you, you started to decorate the cupcakes.

“Is everything alright between you two?” she asked tenderly. “He’s been really upset about himself lately and the only thing he’d say to me is that he had upset you”

“Yeah, we had a bit of a bickering moment” you shrugged. “Friendships are like that, but I’m sure we’ll talk about it once we’re ready. We always do”

Dianne nodded, and you knew she didn’t want to stick her nose in your friendship. She just cares too much.

“You know he loves you” she brought you some sprinkles.

“I love him too” you smiled. “Trent is my favourite person, you know. He just can be hard sometimes. To read, to understand”

She sat next to you and grabbed a cupcake to decorate it herself.

“To love?” she teased. You shook your head, biting your lips so the few tears wouldn’t spill.

“Trent was never hard to love. I think it’s quite the opposite, actually. He must have a hard time loving me” you murmured, but Dianne stayed quiet.

“You were never hard to love either” his voice made you jump, immediately shy of being caught. “What do we have for dinner tonight, mum?”

His arms circled your waist, and Trent hugged you tight against his chest. The heat on your face wasn’t unusual at this point, and he seemed to be the king in making your cheeks burn.

“Homemade pizza. I would’ve changed it if you had warned me Y/N was coming, poor girl probably eats pizza every day for the last six months” she gave you an apologetic look but you only laughed.

“It’s ok, Di. I love your pizza” you smiled. When you were younger, both of your families would reunite once a week to eat her pizza, and in the end it always looked like a party, full of people, laughters and happiness.

“And we also have my cupcakes for the dessert” Trent said excitedly, the pure joy in his voice making you smile. You leaned back so your head would rest on his shoulder, and he gave your forehead a quick peck.

“You baked them?” your shocked tone made Dianne laugh, and Trent looked at you with a false offended expression.

“Surprised?” he murmured in your ear, and you tried not to choke in your own spit.

“Di, are you sure I have to stay for dinner?” you joked, laughing when Trent’s fingers started to squeeze your waist.

Soon Michael was home, and after chatting with him about your classes and teachers, you shared a pizza with the Alexander-Arnold family.

Dianne also told you how Aura has changed their life’s, and the spark on Trent’s eyes was impossible not to see.

After tasting his cupcakes and having to admit they were pretty good, you had to say goodbye to your second family, promising to try and visit as soon as possible.

Later that night in your old room, you wore one of your favourite hoodies of Trent that you shamelessly brought from his house, pretending you were too cold to come back home without one, and his smell instantly engulfed you.

You came to Liverpool focused on forgetting your feelings and determined to get back at what you and Trent were before all of this, but watching his smile, his body lazily thrown on the sofa and how his soft eyes would look at you ruined you all over again.

On the other hand, he seemed like he couldn’t stay away from you either, his arms always hugging you, his pinky touching yours over the dinner table. His longing and lingering stares.

You groaned, grabbing your pillow and burying your face in it before screaming frustratedly. Now more than ever, it was clear for you that you weren't able to be only his friend. That you would always want more.

But you had promised him this, that things would be like nothing ever happened, and your friendship deserved a try.

Your father’s words hammered in your head, and if you were being honest with yourself you knew the pair of you needed to have an honest conversation, but the fear wouldn’t let you ask him for it.

If you make the decision alone, you know what it implies — you’ll have to suppress your feelings for him, forever. But as soon as Trent enters this conversation, he can choose to cut all the ties.

You know Trent too well, and this means knowing that by not feeling the same as you he wouldn’t want to be friends whilst you were in love. This would mean hurt you a lot, and he could never.

Squirming in bed, you tried your best to fall asleep and have a break from your thoughts, but his face refused to leave your mind. Giving up, you texted him exactly what he wanted to read.

—

You were sure you looked like a child.

Everything was so glamorous and fancy, and you were truly excited to be experiencing the most classic Formula One Grand Prix.

The cars were huge, the atmosphere unbelievable. You felt like you were at Disneyland, but made for adults with an unhealthy love for cars.

You felt at home, the engine sounds reaching deep in your heart and you knew you couldn’t be happier.

Tyler and Marcel decided to take a few pictures whilst you and Trent went to the Alpine box so he could see the team before the first session.

You gladly noted that things weren’t awkward between you both, and you soon started to talk about the old times when the pair of you would watch races together.

Suddenly you heard someone shout for Trent followed with a whistle, and immediately prayed that it wasn’t a fan.

You love them, you really do, but since you started to show up more at the games and with his family they were usually rude to you, and you were having a really perfect weekend.

Gladly for you, the pair of you turned around to face Ben and Mason, and Trent happily greeted them with a hug.

“No red bull garage this year?” Mason teased, talking about when they met in the same garage.

“Oh you know, I’m here for business” Trent chuckled, showing them the Alpine paddock pass and the boys playfully whistled. “This is Y/N, my best friend”

“So this is the Y/N” Mason’s eyes twinkled and he shook your hand. “Nice to meet you”

“Trent talks a lot about you” Ben also shook your hand, smiling politely.

You smiled at then, feeling your face heating up at the mention of Trent talking about you.

“But he never told us you’re this pretty” Mason playfully smirked, making you giggle.

“Can I have a word with you, Mason?” Trent motioned his head, making Ben laugh.

“I’ll take Mr. Flirty Mount out of here before the news needs to report the England boys were fighting in Monaco. See you, guys” he chuckled, dragging Mason away whilst he’d blow kisses to you.

You laughed, shaking your head and facing Trent.

“Remember when you told me guys don’t like you romantically?” he snorted. “And now I have to kick them away from you”

“Mason wasn’t flirting” you told him. “He was trying to play with you and get under your skin, hitting on your best friend”

“Y/N, if I wasn’t here to say he’s not allowed to get closer to you in a romantic or sexual way Mason would’ve asked for your number and obviously tried to take you out and God knows what more. Now that he’s close enough I can’t take the risk, that man should’ve stayed in London”

You stared at him with a serious look in your eyes.

“I’d never get involved with someone from your workspace. You know I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but even if you didn’t kicked him away Mason would just do like all the others and disappear after a while”

“The others… you say like, the ones I also had to kick?” Trent chuckled before your confused expression made him gulp. “Looook, a car! Wow, plenty of cars. So many cars”

“You’ve been scaring my potential boyfriends away?” you crossed your arms, and Trent started to walk to Alpine’s box.

“Guilty! I didn’t want you to date any of them. I’m sorry, but they weren’t good enough for you, Y/N” he shrugged, turning around to check if you were following him.

“Since when is up to you to decide?” you raised an eyebrow, but your light tone showed Trent you weren't about to kill him.

He gave you your favourite smile, when he bites his lower lip in tries to stop smiling, but then his smile slowly shows up. It’s pretty and sensual and makes you want to lean forward and kiss him.

“See, I’m your best friend. I know what’s good for you, and they weren’t. That’s all! I’m a guy and I know other guys, I was just protecting my incredible friend” he blinked, reaching out his hand for you to take.

“Well, thank you then. But I’d appreciate it if instead of kicking the ones that aren’t good enough, you could find me someone good enough” you hugged his arm, resting your face on his bicep.

“The only one good enough for you is me” Trent poked your nose before waving to what you presumed was one of the racing drivers. “Esteban, hi!”

—

After the events of the day, you decided to walk back to the hotel room you would stay in, whilst Trent and his brothers stayed to talk a bit.

Sharing the room was an obvious decision. You and Trent always shared a bed on every trip or when staying over someone’s house during teenagers parties.

You instantly got in the shower, and the hot water helped you to relax your tense muscles from walking around the paddock the whole day, but also from being next to Trent for so long.

You didn’t have where to run, and the lingering small touches were driving you crazy. You promised him that it’d be like nothing happened, but you weren’t so sure you’d be able to do that.

‘Look how funny, we were running away from our feelings so we wouldn’t ruin what we had, but running can be exactly the reason for you both to fall apart’, you remembered your dad’s words.

Sighing deeply, you finished your shower and dried your body, wearing Trent’s t-shirt you stole before entering the bathroom.

You couldn’t sleep without your skin care night routine, so you took your time to wash and moisturise your face, applying the simple version of your routine since you wouldn’t travel with all of your products.

After finishing it and brushing your hair, you left the bathroom. You were expecting Trent to stay out longer with his brothers, but as soon as you got out he was entering the room, and you froze in place.

“Thank you for staying with me” he smiled, closing the door behind him.

“Well, your brothers would find it weird if we didn’t share the room for the first time in fifteen years” you joked, but Trent frowned.

“That’s why you accepted? You wouldn’t share the room with me if Marcel and Tyler weren’t here?”

You sighed, not wanting to argue with him.

“You’re overthinking, Trent. I wouldn’t have accepted to come to Monaco with you if we weren’t on good terms”

“I had to beg you to come, Y/N. What’s wrong?” he asked you, exasperated. “Am I a bad fucker or what? Is this about Theo? Are you with him now?”

“This is not about how you- do it, Trent. And I already told you he’s just a friend, we’re not together”

He gave you an annoyed look, and you were about to say you could just share the room with Marcel instead when he opened his mouth.

“I’m just your friend as well and this doesn’t stop us from kissing each other once a month” he mumbled, his words making your body stiffen.

“So you remember?” you gasped, not believing the words he had just said.

“How the fuck could I forget” Trent’s voice was low, and is was obvious that confessioning it was taking everything in him. “Every time you kiss me is like the world makes sense. You make me feel alive and I hate that someone else can be feeling the same whilst I’m so fucking away”

Your mind started to spin, and you tried your best to keep breathing.

“You- what? Why you never told me?” you looked at him, your vision slightly blurred with tears. Trent stayed silent, and even though you know he’s not good with his words you expected him at least to try and defend himself. “Fuck you. How could you let me believe you didn’t know for all these months?”

“Listen-” he sighed, but you only shook your head.

“No, you listen. I’m tired” you wiped the tears from your face. “You can’t pretend you doesn’t know that we kissed multiple times and then act like you’re in love with me”

“But I am!” he ran his hand through his hair, but despite the hurt look in his eyes you weren’t willing to believe him.

“The only thing you are right now, Trent, is drunk. Just like every other time you thought you wanted something to do with me” your hurt voice tone made Trent’s heart drop, but at the same time he just wanted you to believe his words. “Just like how when you thought you wanted to fuck me”

He knew it was wrong to keep something like that from you, to pretend he didn’t know about your feelings for months, but he couldn’t change the past. The only thing he could try to do was explain himself but he had no idea where to start, and the fact he felt lost started to annoy him.

“Good. We can always blame Trent’s lil shot of vodka and his silly glass of beer” he raised his voice, exasperated. He knew it wasn’t your fault, but he was trying to open up for the first time since your first kiss and things weren’t going on as he planned. “We should just go to bed so you can forget we talked about this”

“You’re the one who likes to forget when something happens between us” you screamed back at him. “I used to wish you were fucking sober so you would remember you want me when you were not. You knew that? I used to pray for you to wake up once and still feels like kissing me”

His heart twisted in his chest at the sight of your tears.

“Why did you pretend you didn’t remember? You want me when you have more drinks than you should and when you wake up you realise you don’t?” your shaky voice hurt him. “Acting like it never happened has been killing me for months, just in order to not ruin things with you when in reality you knew all this time”

“So why did you say it back then?” his hands were on his neck, in an exasperated movement. “I never told you I remembered because I was afraid you didn’t want me to remember, Y/N. And then, the only time you were sure I did, you ghosted me only to come back saying exactly what I feared to hear. Why?”

“I don’t want the fact that I fucking want you to ruin our friendship, Arnold” you blurted out, instantly panic washing over you when Trent’s eyes widened. “Forget it. Forget, I’ll go to sleep. I don’t wanna talk about that”

“But I do. I need to talk about that” he held you by your wrist, not letting you get to the bed. “Please?”

“Do you need to talk about what, exactly? Why the fuck are you the one acting like I rejected you” you snapped, watching Trent frown at you.

You knew you needed to talk to him, and that you were doing exactly what your parents asked you not to, but the fact that he’d been lying to you changed everything.

“Because you did! You didn’t even let me explain what I was thinking that night. You didn’t let me talk before assuming that I didn’t want you”

You felt your face heating up, thinking that you had actually ran away from him.

“You told me we shouldn’t have done it” you murmured, playing with your fingers.

“Yeah, I did. But not in the way you understood” he snorted. “I was dizzy and lazy from my orgasm, and you didn’t give me any time to explain myself. I just- I don’t know why I said it, I should’ve kept shut. But the fact that I’d be going home hours after having you and we would spend God knows how much time apart from each other made me sick. Just slipped out of my mouth and you got it wrong”

“Oh” you bite the inside of your cheek, avoiding his eyes and suddenly too shy to argue.

“Yeah, oh. Then you ignored me for a whole fucking month. Not funny, Y/N”

“I’m sorry, but things weren’t clear, Trent. Can you try to see this from my perspective? You fucked your best friend from ages, but I slept with the only guy I’ve wanted since high school. When you said you couldn’t do that I felt so embarrassed. Naked in a hotel’s bed whilst the man that I love was saying he didn’t want that” you kept looking to the floor, feeling your heart twisting in your chest. “I told you pretty personal things once, Trent. I was honest and I was scared, and when you told me back I thought that that was when things were supposed to change”

“What are you talking about?” Trent walked towards you, his body gently pressing yours against the wall. He held your chin, tilting your head up to face his.

“That night at the England party before the camp, when you flirted with that girl. I told you things” you murmured, not wanting to repeat that you told him you loved him in a different way. “And when you said it back I thought that we-”

“Fuck, the National Team party? You chose the only day I was actually drunk to tell me things?” his forehead dropped to yours, his hand stroking your chin. You closed your moist eyes and Trent observed your face. “We’ll, I’ve told you things too. At your farewell party” he giggled. “I told you pretty personal things, and when you said it back…”

You were back at avoiding his gaze, but his gentle grip on your chin forced you to face his shining and soft eyes again.

After a minute of looking at each other, Trent picked you up and quickly walked the pair of you to the bed, laying you there before getting comfortable on top of you and between your legs.

“You know I’m not good with words, but since you told me you love me I think I should say how I feel about you” he brushed his nose against your neck, the suddenly comfortable atmosphere making you smile. “You seem to have no idea of that, but being around you is the best thing to ever happen to me. You’re like breathing pure air after inhaling smoke, Y/N. When I see you I know I can finally relax. No worries. I don’t need to pay attention to what I’m saying, I don’t need to worry if you’ll understand me. I can be myself. You’ve seen my flaws and my qualities, and you haven’t run away not for once. My mind is at peace when I look at you, but then my heart is pretty different. So disturbed. You settle me but then you’re not mine, and one day you’ll be settling someone else. It terrifies me to the point I can’t breathe sometimes”

Trent said it all in a low and controlled tone, like he was forcing the words to come out. Without breaking eye contact, you cupped his face and stroked his cheeks and let him continue.

“I- in Italy, I was so angry and I’m sorry. I've been hoping that what happened wouldn’t change what we are because the mere idea of losing you makes me sick” he sighed, making you smile softly. “But at the same time I need it to change. I just can’t be your best friend anymore. I want to touch you like that. And kiss you, and hold you”

You felt your cheeks getting warm and that weird feeling on the pit of your stomach. The uncertainty about the future, the fear. But also the hope of having the only boys you always wanted.

“We’re kinda friends with benefits at this point” you joked, but Trent huffed.

“I’m not here for friends with benefits, Y/N. It never works. I want all or nothing” his lips brushed against yours. “Be my girlfriend”

Your eyes widened at his words, but Trent only leaned against your palm, his softly gaze analysing your expression whilst patiently waiting for an answer.

You didn’t need to think much about it, but you appreciated that he let you take your time to picture what that would mean for the pair of you.

“Like- like a girlfriend? You girlfriend?”

“Unless you’re already dating someone else” he teased you. “But I’m way better than him, so if you are then you should break up with your boyfriend”

“I couldn’t date anyone else that’s not you, I’m afraid” you shyly admitted, making Trent giggle.

“I wonder how would you explain a possessive and jealous guy that does everything with you and cuddle and snuggle and wear you on his clothes, cook for you, drive for you, pick your movies and likes to kiss you” he kissed your chin, and only then you understood what he meant back at your fight about Theo.

Trent didn’t want Theo to know he had no chance. He wanted Theo to know that, if he wanted to date you, he’d have to accept your best friend that looks like your boyfriend. Just like how he does with the girls he chats.

Maybe, just maybe, that’s why none of you ever had a long and lasting relationship with anyone else.

“You eased things for me a lot” you smiled. “Now I just need to say that the jealous guy is my boyfriend”

Trent tilted his head. “It sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah” you murmured, trying to bite back a smile. “It sounds really good”

Different from the kiss that night in Italy, Trent gently pecked your lips and waited for you to make the first move. Rolling your eyes playfully, you pulled him closer by his neck before kissing him.

His lips touched yours gently, caring and lovingly. Slowly opening them, Trent let his tongue slide inside of your mouth, fighting with yours for dominance.

The hand on your waist kept rubbing circles and caressing your skin underneath your hoodie, his fingers constantly bumping into your panties’ strap.

You couldn’t have enough of him, and when you tried to get him even closer, scratching the back of his neck, Trent groaned into your mouth and pressed his hips forward.

The feeling of his semi hard crotch pressed against your core made your mind go blank. You opened your mouth to moan and he took the opportunity to turn your kiss into a sloppy one, biting and licking your lips.

“Let me take care of you. Real care of you this time” he murmured against your jaw, pressing even further against you. “Please”

“We can’t right now” you told him, but his only response was to suck your neck in a way that got you squirming beneath him. “Trent-”

“I’m dying to feel you, baby. I’ve been dreaming about you, every night. I wake up sweating and hard as fuck and all I wanna do is to beg you to take care of me” he whispered. “I swear I’ll be a good boy, please?”

You gulped, incapable of denying that his words got you close to the edge.

“But your brothers-”

“Just be quiet f’me” he whispered, kisses trailing down your neck. When his hand found your bare chest, you knew it was over for you.

“I can’t be quiet with you” you whispered in a desperate tone that immediately got Trent chuckling, his thumb slowly stroking your nipple.

“Guess you’ll need to try” he pulled away to look at you and smirk.

You cupped his face, stroking his chin and staring into his eyes.

“This is different, right? Than the last time”

Trent stopped his teasing and leaned down to give you the softest kiss you ever had, his lips touching yours like he was afraid he could hurt you.

“I’m truly sorry for what happened, and I’m truly sorry for panicking when I should’ve seen you were just as scared as me” he murmured, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “But I didn’t lie, Y/N. I want you, and I think we can make it work. You know me like nobody else, and I like to think I know you too”

“You do” you quickly nodded, your heart warm with love.

Trent’s gaze made you feel like he could see your naked soul, his dark and big eyes showing you they were ready to be honest with you.

“You’re everything I need. You make my tummy flutter and my dick hard and every time I get home I wish I could hug you through the night” he told you sincerely, making you laugh. “Don’t laugh at me, baby”

“I’m not. Sorry, it was just cute”

You bit your lips, still trying to hold your giggles.

“Oh, you think it’s cute when I say you make me hard? I’m starting to think you’re a bit naughty, Y/N” he poked your waist, and you laughed harder. “I mean it when I say I want you to be my girlfriend, and I need you to know I’m being serious. I know we’re both tired though, so we can talk better when you’re ready, yeah?”

Hw kissed your forehead and motioned to get off of you, but you didn’t want that.

“No” you protested, hugging his shoulders to make him stay.

“You wanna sleep like this?” his soft voice made your tummy flutter, and you almost felt bad for all the filthy thoughts running through your mind when he was talking so sweetly. Almost.

“I’m wet and bothered because of you, Alexander” you whispered, tugging your fingers in his hair. “You’re fucking me tonight”

Trent raised his eyebrows at you, surprised by your attitude, and licked his lips.

“Am I?” he murmured, his eyes falling to your lips. You scratched the back of his head, pulling him closer so you could gently bite his lower lip. “I’m def fucking you tonight”

You giggled, circling his waist with your legs, and he groaned, hand slipping underneath your t-shirt again.

It wasn’t long until his face was between your legs. Trent kissed your inner thigh, holding eye contact. Lazily brushing his nose against your skin, giving it little bites before kissing your core over your panties’ fabric.

When you raised your hips for him to take it off, Trent cursed under his breath.

“I’m wet enough, babe” you whispered, the pet name falling from your lips like it’s something constant.

Trent raised his head to look at you, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“Said it again” he asked, his body on top of yours again.

You smiled, biting your lip. “I’m wet enough?”

“No, the other thing” his lips brushed against yours, his low voice making you shiver whilst your entire body screamed for him.

“Babe?” you repeated innocently, smiling when he rested hus forehead on your shoulder.

“God” he tucked his head in your neck, kissing your skin. “Gonna moan like that for me?”

“If you make me” you murmured, pride washing over you when he tightened his grip on your waist. “Are you good?”

“I said it once, but I never thought you could be such a brat” he mumbled, taking a deep breath. “I’m having trouble to control my own body”

“Aw” you lovingly mocked him. “Then don’t”

Trent chuckled, pulling away so he could take your panties off, and the way he looked at you made you feel a bit shy under his gaze even though he had already seen you naked.

He wanted you, and you could see how much just by the way his dark eyes travelled your body, his tongue poking out to lick his lips at the sight of you uncovered.

“So fucking pretty. And you know that” he caressed your waist, eyes meeting yours.

Even though you never saw yourself as an ugly girl and that a few guys often had told you how gorgeous they thought you were, it was the first time you actually believed that another person could see you as profoundly as you see yourself.

You could feel in his voice tone how Trent actually thought you were this beautiful, how much he liked to look at you. And how he meant it.

“Someone might have told me that once” you shrugged, smiling when he rolled his eyes.

“I did” he pecked your lips before slightly biting your chin. “And you were moaning my name a few seconds later”

You giggled, kissing himin sequence. It was still weird for you how his lips fit into yours so well, how they were able to make you weak.

When he pulled away with an erratic breath, you smirked and laid down again.

“You’re wearing too much clothes” you teased, and Trent raised his eyebrows before getting off of you and starting to strip.

He took the white t-shirt off, letting you admire his arms and chest before unbuttoning his pants, taking it off along with his boxers.

You cursed loudly, catching Trent’s attention.

“I don’t think you’ll fit, Alexander” you chuckled, but knowing you damn well he could say you were scared straight away.

“I know it looks like it but I’m not that big”

It was a lie. You licked your lips whilst watching him touching himself a few times before wearing the condom, getting ready for you.

“You’re huge, babe” you whispered. “Insanely big”

You could see him getting flustered, his shy eyes meeting yours whilst he walked towards you again.

“Stop” he groaned, and the sight of his large hands teasing his angry tip made you feel warm. Everywhere.

“You’re not only big, Trentie. You’re thick” you raised your eyebrows, biting back a moan. “Fuck, you’re so hot”

Trent bit his lips shyly, and you were amazed with your capacity of making him shy. Tapping the bed, you waited for him to crawl in your direction, settling between your legs.

“Which position do you want?” you smirked when he was on top of you again. You could feel him against your thigh, the desperation growing wilder.

“I feel like I should be the one asking this” he chuckled. “But I’d like our first time to be missionary, if you allow me”

You’d allow him anything at this point, you wanted to say.

“Any special reason?” you stroked his cheek, quickly pecking his lips.

Trent brushed a strand of hair out of your face, looking at you like you were holding the moon.

“I liked the look in your eyes when you were almost there that night. I want to see how you’ll look at me whilst I’m hitting you good” he kissed your chin, the feeling of him pressed against you making you let out a small cry.

Trent didn’t lost time in guiding himself to tease you, sliding his tip through your folds and tapping it against your clit.

He wasn’t the type to praise a lot, and instead of words he used his actions very well, every touch of him working you up even more.

When you sighed, he slowly slid it to your core and slightly thrusted forward, a small moaning falling from his lips.

“Trentie-” you whined, making him kiss you to silence you.

“I haven’t even started yet and you’re already falling apart?” Trent teased you, his forehead against yours whilst he pushed himself further.

It took you a while to adjust to him. Not that you were a saint, but you didn’t hook up with half Italy either, and as much as it was good to feel him it was also uncomfortable.

“Why are you tense baby?” he kissed your hairline, trying his best to stay still.

You sighed, debating on telling him or not.

“It’s been a while- I’m not as experienced as you”

Truth be told, you were terrified you wouldn’t be to him as good as he was to you.

“Y/N, c’mon” he trailed kisses down your face. “It’s just me, baby. Your Trentie”

“I know, but this is such a new thing to us” you pouted, making him smile.

“Love how you’re able to go from a brat to a baby. The duality of a woman” he brushed his nose against your cheek, and you giggled.

“Sorry, I’m ruining it. You’ll be soft again in a second” you joked, but Trent only pressed his hip further.

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Your personality is exactly what turned me on to this point” he adjusted himself slightly, and you couldn’t help but moan.

“Move” you asked him quietly, murmuring. “Please, Trent”

The sensation was overwhelming. Not only the pleasure of having sex, but the euphoria of having sex with him.

With your boy, who knows you so well, who waits patiently for you to adjust around him, who makes you moan with just a touch of his strong but ever so gentle hands.

Trent kept his slow pace, enjoying how he could feel every inch of you whilst groaning and moaning in your ear.

“God, you feel so good” he murmured, leaning to kiss your jaw. “So fucking tight around me, just how I imagined you’d be”

His words made your head spin, the goosebumps down your spine making you moan.

“You really thought about this before?” you whispered, digging your nails into his shoulder.

Trent giggled, biting your shoulder lovingly. “A lot”

You closed your eyes, and knowing that he was enjoying let you totally relax your body. Feeling the difference, he increased the pace and changed the angle.

It didn’t take long for you to feel that weird and hazy sensation in the pitch of your stomach, your toes curling whilst you dropped your head on the pillow.

“Trent, babe” you murmured, trying to be quiet. “I’m-”

He looked at your fucked up expression, your swollen lips and the messy hair around your face, feeling proud of the state he got you in.

“Does that feel good?” his lips brushed against yours whilst he pounded into you. “I know it does by the way you’re clenching around me, but I’d like to hear you say”

“It feels so good” you whined, sobbing when he pressed his palm against your lower stomach. “It feels so fucking good, it makes me wanna scream”

Arching your back so you could feel him closer, you repeatedly whispered his name, like a song Trent would never get tired of hearing.

“I can’t hold it anymore, Trentie” you cried out, scratching his neck and biting his shoulder in tries to keep quiet.

“Uhm, my pretty girl” he kissed you softly, his tongue invading your mouth, so lazily and caring. “Let go f’me, princess”

Your high hit you with an unknown intensity,

“You squeezed the life out of me” he kissed your temple, getting on his feet to discard the condom.

Coming back from the bathroom, he laid on top of you, sighing when your fingers started to scratch his scalp.

“Gonna sound cliche” he groaned, kissing your shoulder. “But you have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of this”

“In any of your dreams, it happened in Monaco?” you chuckled, yawning in sequence. “And if yes, we made it to the race? I feel like sleeping the whole day”

“We should take a shower and get some sleep” Trent murmured, and even though you agreed with him, none of you moved a finger.

“This is real, right?” you whispered, the answer already sparkling in his eyes when he looked at you. “I’m scared” you admitted, your heart beating wildly in your chest and the knot on your throat immediately showing up. “What if we can’t make it? What if we fight really bad one day and you’ll be sure there’s no way out of it? What if we broke up and things won’t ever be the same and it’ll ruin our family’s friendship. And I’ll probably have to see you walking around with an ugly model as your new bag”

“Shhh, I wouldn’t let that happen” he changed to a sit position, bringing you closer and holding you tight.

He ran his hand on your back, and you took deep breaths before replying.

“You can’t promise me that” you murmured against his shoulder.

Trent took a few seconds to speak, tilting your head up so you would see his eyes.

“I promise you, Y/N, I would never, ever, walk around with an ugly model” he chuckled, stopping when you hit his arm. “We’ll, I’m promising you that right now, baby” he murmured. “I’m forever yours, and nothing will be able to ruin this. I’ll never let anything get in between us”

—

After a quick shower and some sleep, you almost couldn’t wake up in the morning. Trent used the bathroom first before gently calling you so you could get ready for the day, and after half an hour you were able to win the battle.

When you left the bathroom, you watched Trent looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his beige overall.

“Are you wearing this?” you frowned, feeling like one of those toxic boyfriends.

“What, you don’t like it?” he turned around to face you, and you instantly cursed yourself from opening your mouth when you were met with uncertainty in his eyes.

You shook your head, quickly walking towards him.

“No, is not that. You look really good” you hugged his neck. “You just look too good for my concern”

His shoulders relaxed and he let out the cutest giggle in the world, holding your waist.

“That shouldn’t be a good thing?”

“We’re in Monaco, Trent. And you’re a footballer. I can only imagine the amount of girls that’ll throw themselves at you” you frowned, but he only shrugged.

“Unfortunately for them, I only care about one girl”

You rolled your eyes playfully, leaning to kiss him when a loud knock on the door made you pull away. Trent groaned before gently pulling you close by your neck until your lips were brushing against his.

“Priorities, princess. They can wait” he pecked your lips, trailing kisses down your jaw and your neck. It wasn’t long until you felt your knees getting weak.

Gently sucking and biting the spot underneath your ear, Trent groaned when a small moan slipped through your lips.

“I think the race isn’t that important” he mumbled, kissing you gently and slowly, the urge of pulling you even closer making his grip tighter on your waist.

When one of his brothers knocked on the door again, Trent pulled away and huffed.

“The sooner we leave the sooner we get back” he whispered, grabbing your hand and walking to the door, only stopping so you could pick up your bag on the bed.

When he opened the door, Tyler and Marcel were looking back at you.

“Wow, Y/N. You look like you don’t sleep for days” Marcel teased your appearance as soon as you left the room.

“Me and Trent kept gossiping until morning” you yawned, grabbing the coffee Tyler handed to you. “I’m starting to regret it”

When Marcel and Trent started to walk a few steps in front of you two, the eldest brother passed his arm over your shoulder.

“You know I’m old enough to recognise a man who had sex when I see one” he giggled, and your heart instantly dropped.

“Tyler-” you gasped, but he shook his head and squeezed your body against his.

“No, no. I’m glad it happened. You make him happy like nothing else does, Y/N. I won’t tell anyone until you two are ready, but I wanted to tell you myself how happy I am to have you around and looking out for my little brother. Trent had some bad and tough moments, especially when it comes to love, but I trust you. And I trust him to take care of such a special girl like you”

You smiled shyly, his words making you feel safe and loved.

“Thank you” you smiled, hugging his waist. “You know I’m also happy to be around your family”

“Oh, just wait until you’re officially part of it then” he chuckled, the sound getting Trent’s attention.

Your boy turned around, frowning at the sight of you two laughing.

“Hey, can you get away from my girl please” Trent shouted, walking back to you and grabbing your hand.

“You’re so dramatic” Tyler rolled his eyes before looking at you again. “Good luck with this one, you gonna need it”

Trent snorted, putting you beside him. His hand slipped into your jean’s pocket, and you tried to bite a smile.

“Your girl?” you teased. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Of course I wanna do this. There's a better place to have paparazzi couple pictures than the Monaco GP?” he kissed your cheek. “Yeah, I’m totally sure. Want them to know you’re mine. The only one I want when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I’m sleepy or when I’m awake. The one I want when I’m drunk and when I’m sober”

“And the one that makes you talk like you’re twelve years old” Marcel rolled his eyes, slapping Trent’s head and making you laugh. “Never saw you talking like that”

“Man is in love, Marcel. Let him” Tyler came to the rescue, but soon he was teasing along. “Wait for him to have his own kid and you’ll see him reach his peak of foolishness”

“God, Tyler. I got the girl yesterday and you’re trying to scare her already” he looked really annoyed, and you tried to hold your giggles so you wouldn’t ruin his mood. “C’mon baby, let’s get out of here”

“C’mon baby” Marcel mimicked him, extending his hand to grab Tyler’s.

“Let’s get out of here” the eldest joined him, both erupting in giggles whilst Trent guided you to Alpine’s box, soon finding a corner where he could kiss you as if the pair of you didn’t have a race to watch.

For the rest of the day you walked around the paddock with Trent. Fingers intertwined, kisses exchanged and vows of love quietly spoken against each other’s mouth.

[sturniyolos]

Makeup sex with Matt makes me go feral.

You don’t even know how you ended up in this situation. One moment you were yelling at Matt because he got home way later than he told you, then the next moment you’re bent over the couch arm rest, skin slapping heard across the apartment.

“I just don’t get how hard it is to leave a quick message or even a phone call.” You exclaim, yelling at him. Matt went to a party with a few friends, and you knew that. But, you didn’t know he’d be coming home at 3am instead of 12am like he promised you.

“Listen, you need to calm dow-“

“Calm down? Imagine if I did the same shit, you would be livid. Don’t tell me to calm down.” You say, laughing at his statement.

“If you calm down, I’ll give you the explanation you so badly want.” He states, crossing his arms.

You finally took a deep breath, and sat on the couch arm rest, waiting for his answer.

“I didn’t drink, I was the DD the whole night. I dropped off a couple of friends to their house, some of them living in downtown LA, alright? I’m sorry I didn’t-“

“Oh? Now you’re sorry? You’re sorry because I had to voice that you pissed me off?” You say standing up, getting even more mad than earlier. You can tell Matt was getting frustrated with you, cutting him off for the last 20 minutes— but he needed to know that you were extremely upset.

“Y/N, I swear to God if you don’t let me finish explaining I’m gonna-“

His voice got deeper, his eyes got darker— and you got wetter.

“You’re just a pussy, bro. You can’t even call your girl letting-“

That’s when Matt took matter into his own hands and placed his big hand over your throat, putting slight pressure as he made out with you, hard.

“Awe. Who’s the pussy now— tell me?” He questions, pulling away from the heated kiss to look down at you as you sit down on the arm rest once again. He waited for an answer as you looked up at him licking his lips. You were starting to regret even starting an argument with him as you knew you would be on this couch, begging for him for God knows how long.

“Strip. Right now.” He states, taking his hand off of your throat and pulling the fabric of your shirt.

You did as he said and you started to strip. As you take off your underwear, your slick was all over you including your thighs.

“God, you’re pathetic.” He says, rubbing your sensitive clit. You immediately moan as his pace goes faster.

“So, you start all this shit with me because it gets you turned on? Is that right?” He asks, shoving his middle and ring finger into your heat. You gasp loudly and you look down— the wet sounds coming from your pussy and his fingers made you even more wet [if that was even possible].

“Oh? So now you don’t wanna talk? C’mon baby— let’s hear that voice of yours. You weren’t acting like this a few minutes ago.” He says, leaving kissing and love bites all over your neck. You couldn’t even talk at this point, pleasure overtaking you.

Matt starts to feel you getting tighter, notifying him that you’re close. The knot is almost about to break until he pulls his fingers out, you look up at him as he sucks your juices off his fingers. He didn’t let any go to waste.

He takes matters into his own hands and flips you around, bending you over the arm rest. You hear him take off his shirt, unbuckling his belt, then his jeans.

“M-Matt I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to c-cause any-”

“You gotta speak up sweetheart, what’d you say?” He says in your ear, making you arch your back while he slides his own hand up and down his cock.

“I said I was-“

That was the last sentence said before he slides into you, stretching you out completely. You let out a pornographic moan as he didn’t even give you time to adjust to his size— he started to fuck you like he hated you.

“You want me all to yourself, huh? So selfish of you.” He says, thrusts getting harder, faster, deeper— you name it. All his built up anger you caused, he was letting it out on you.

“So fucking needy. Look at you, you’re finally being quiet like the good girl you’re supposed to be.” He states as he holds your waist, pressing your thumbs against your back— arching your back so much more.

“Say you’re sorry.” He states as he slows down his thrusts.

“‘M sorry.” You say in a rush, out of breath and for him to just continue fucking your brains out.

“Tsk. I know you can do better than that. Again.” He says, but completely stopping what he was doing.

Matt puts your soft hair into a makeshift ponytail with one hand , and gripping your ass with the other.

“Matt, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah?” He asks.

Slap.

“For what?”

Slap.

“F-for giving you attitude.”

Slap.

“And?”

Slap.

“For getting mad at you and going off on you.” You say looking back at him with pleading eyes. If Matt said he didn’t almost cum from you looking at him like that, his ass would be lying.

“There you go. See— was that so hard?” He asks softly, resuming his deadly thrusts.

He lets go of your ponytail and you put your hands behind your back, he grabs both of your hands with his one hand using it as support to go even harder than he was earlier.

You were getting closer and closer to your release, and so was Matt. He needed you to cum first before he did.

“Baby, can I cum? Please?” You ask pathetically, drool leaving your mouth.

“Don’t know, you think you deserve it?” He asks, kissing your bare shoulder. He knew you deserved it, you always deserved it, you just had to work a little harder this time.

“Matt, p-please. I apologized and I-I did everything you asked, please.” You said, clenching your pussy as you knew this would make him fold.

“Go on then. Cum on me. Cum on me like the slut you are.” He states, his thrusts becoming so fast the couch began shaking. As the knot gets tighter, you get louder. He puts his hand over your mouth as you get closer and closer to release.

“You take me so good baby, you know that?”

“This pussy all mine, no one else’s, mine.”

“Gonna fill you up till you can’t take anymore, mama.” He whispers directly in your ear. Those ten words are what did it for you, the knot snaps and you start cumming all over his cock.

“Fucking s-shit, mmmfph.” You state, gripping the couch cushions while trying to overcome your orgasm but also to prepare yourself for Matt’s high.

“I ain’t stopping, baby. You gon take every single drop, yeah?” He asks. He knew you wanted him to fill you up but as always, you had to work for it.

“Fill me u-up. Don’t stop, please I-I’m begging.” You plead, slowly but surely recovering from your orgasm.

“Begging just for me? You’re so cute.” He chuckles while still thrusting in your tight hole.

One last hard thrust, his cum paints your walls white. You feel the warmth as he finishes, slowly fucking his orgasm into you. You smile as you feel your insides being full with Matt. As Matt tries to catch his breath, you feel him pull out of you slowly as you stay bent over the arm rest. He looks down at your pussy and spreads your asscheeks— smiling to himself as he observes his seed and your cum mixed with one another, dripping down your thigh.

“Now what did we learn today?” Matt asks you, going around the couch to face you as he puts his pointer finger on your chin.

“Don’t cut you off while you’re talking.” You said. Matt stared at you, proud of his accomplishment. Your hair all tangled, your lips all red and swollen, your neck showing a variety of different colors and you being all sweaty and filled up with his load.

“Good girl. Let’s go get cleaned up, yeah?”

——————————————————————————

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

roomies | s.r. x gn!reader

“i don’t think he’s gonna agree.”

“he’s gonna agree cause he promised me at least once.”

derek and penelope bickered outside the dark wood of spencer reid’s apartment. the said promise was going to a bar with a majority of the team, gideon and hotch declining. jj and emily were already at their usual bar, derek was sulking due to being dragged into this side mission, already expecting a lengthy no.

penelope rapped her knuckles to the wood, “well tonight might be the night he surprises you.” her toes giving a slight bounce while waiting about ten seconds.

there was the sound of footsteps on the other side and the twisting of a lock. the door swung open all the way and insteade of the slender doctor reid greeting them, they stood in front of someone unknown.

“can i… help you?” you asked the two strangers on your doorstep. their faces showing clear confusion and curiosity.

the chubby blonde open and closed her mouth before asking, “does- does a spencer reid live here?” twisting her rings. penelope was positive this was spencer’s address, but she didn’t want to come off as a stalker or something.

your body shifted a bit, from kinda loose to now more concerned. “who’s asking?” eyeing them both skeptically.

derek took the moment to mess around. he pulled his badge from his jacket pocket and flashed it, with a straight and serious voice he said, “the fbi. we need to ask doctor reid some questions.”

you called over your shoulder, “spence! the fbi is here!” keeping them outside the threshold.

there was quick steps from inside that grew closer and over your shoulder, spencer popped into view. he stood beside you, “what are you guys doing here?”

you looked at him, “you know them, right?” fingers messing with the shiny knob. spencer quelled yours nerves with a shy smile, “they work with me at the bau.” your mouth shaped into an ‘o’ at the information.

“you gonna introduce us, boy wonder? being a rude house guest.” the blonde reached an arm out to wack at spencer’s bicep. you and the other man chuckled at her antics.

“this is penelope garcia, our analysis. and derek morgan works in the field with me.” you outstretched a welcoming hand, “i’m y/n, his roommate.”

derek was the first to shake hands, “pretty boy never told us he shared a space with anyone. you know, with his thing about germs.”

“i’ve know him since high school. moved here for college, so it worked out. he’s more open to it since we’ve known each other for a while.” shrugging off derek’s assumption.

“oh!” a yelp from the blonde, penelope, “you should join us for drinks tonight. maybe it’ll convince this one to join us.” she’s pointed a painted finger at spencer, “i’m cashing in your promise.”

you cocked a brow, “promise?” asked for anyone to answer. penelope did, “this one promised that he would come out with us once, well more like forced out if it’s been awhile. and it has, so it’s now the two of you we’re dragging along.” she clapped her hands together twice, “come on. the night isn’t long for us.”

you weren’t gonna force spencer out, but it did sound promising. “i could use a break…” mumbled out the side of your mouth. you looked at spencer who locked eyes with you, he twisted his mouth then sighed, relenting to his fate. “fine, fine. we’ll meet you there.”

“oh! this is gonna be so fun! i can’t wait to chat with you.” penelope reached in for an impulse hug, one you reciprocated after a moment pause. you chuckled, “same here.”

your two guest shortly left and spencer closed the door behind him. you turned to him with crossed arms over your chest and a playful pout to your lips, “kinda hurtful they didn’t know about me.”

spencer licked his lips with a bashful smirk, “wanted you to myself for a while.” cupping into your cheeks and pressing a soothing kiss to wash away your puckered lips. “best get ready, they can get impatient very fast.”

[unitedhamilton]

Flowers

Summary: flowers in the trash are the result of hurt.

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: this is my first fic I’ve published and written so go easy on me!! There will be a part 2.

Everyone said the honeymoon phase wouldn’t last. You ignored them, too wrapped up in the love shown by Lewis. He was a man who knew how to race, but also how to love. From the start of your relationship to now, your heart knew nothing but love. A hand on your waist, pinky fingers interlocked, or legs intertwined on the sofa, Lewis was always touching you. He was all-consuming. It was everything you could have asked for.

A long holiday in Las Vegas was the perfect rejuvenation for you and Lewis after a busy season. Hours spent together with no distractions but each other. One night, he surprised you with a beautiful bouquet of roses, carnations, and orchids. You made sure to display them proudly on the little desk in your hotel suite.

Your vacation came to an end and you found yourself back home in Colorado. Although a short flight, it was still an exhausting experience.

You dropped your luggage by the front door, Lewis doing the same. Lewis got close and said, “Go on up to bed. I’ll be up in a minute,” not waiting for an answer before kissing your cheek and heading into the kitchen to check the state of the house.

You looked at the suitcases on the floor, shrugged, went to bed, and fell asleep before he came up.

Waking up, Lewis was gone with no text or note left on the kitchen counter. You didn’t see Roscoe puttering around the house so you figured Lewis went to get him. Early afternoon, you got a text from Lewis saying that he was “getting back on track with work” and wasn’t sure when he was going to be home. Your text back went unanswered.

Thus, you spent the day getting your life back in order. You dragged your (and Lewis’) suitcase to the laundry room where you sorted through days of laundry. You started a load and began meal prepping for the week. The flower bouquet that you carefully wrapped in tissues to dry out, sat in the middle of the kitchen island as you pulled out pots and pans from the sleek kitchen drawers.

While in the middle of putting broccoli in Tupperware containers, the doorbell rang. Opening the door you were pounced on by a panting Roscoe. Expecting Lewis at the end of the leash you were surprised to see your sitter, Ally, grinning at you. After a quick conversation, you closed the front door after thanking Ally and unhooking Roscoe’s collar so he could run freely.

You texted Lewis a brief, “Roscoe is home,” because you weren’t sure if he knew that was on the plan for today.

When Lewis texted you that he’d be seeing to things, you didn’t think you’d be going to bed alone. This wasn’t uncommon as Lewis was a man that was dedicated to his work. However, his late endeavors were usually accompanied by numerous texts, calls, and apologies for not being home to go to bed together.

You woke up alone again. No note. No car. No Roscoe. Instead of a text this time, you got a phone call.

Before you could say hello, Lewis said “I have Roscoe and we’ll be home later.”

Then he disconnected. You had to look at your phone to make sure he just hung up on you. To say you were ready to throw a fit was an understatement.

You grabbed the flowers that were drying on the kitchen counter and threw them in the trash. The lid echoed as you stomped up the steps to get ready for the day. If Lewis was going to leave you to your own devices then you’d be productive.

So, you put on the cutest farmers market outfit you could find, grabbed your tote bag, and left the house. Spite was coursing through your veins holding you back from letting Lewis know you were leaving the house. You debated turning off Find My Friends, but you were irritated, not stupid.

~~~~~~

Lewis twisted the key, hearing the lock click, and he pushed open the door with a panting Roscoe scurrying through the small gap. He could only see the light shining from the kitchen, everything else was dark in the house.

Toeing off his shoes, Lewis makes his way into the kitchen stopping by the staircase to look up to the bedroom. He can see the light from your shared office. Some tension released from his shoulders knowing that you were home.

In the kitchen, he immediately notices the dried flowers are missing. While only being home for minutes at a time the last few days, he never missed a glance at the flowers.

Lewis looked around the kitchen to see if you hung the flowers or put them someplace else. With no luck, he opens the garbage bin and sees the flowers. Something you spent so much time trying to preserve from Las Vegas to New York was found in the garbage bin.

He closed the lid and flicked off the kitchen light. Upstairs he went, giving a pat to Roscoe who was resting on his bed after a busy day.

Lewis climbs up the steps, ringed fingers gliding against the railing. He moved to the office door and quietly turned the handle. You had headphones on so you weren’t aware of his presence. Your blue pajama shorts weren’t accompanied by a usual shirt stolen from his closet. And that was when Lewis knew that you, who could shine brighter than the sun, had shut out the light.

You swiveled in your chair, catching sight of Lewis, your body doing a slight jerk then your hand coming up and pulling off your headphones.

“Hi,” you said.

“Hey honey.”

You turned back to your computer, hand on mouse still clicking at whatever was on the screen. Lewis couldn’t see and didn’t care to be honest.

“I went to the farmers market today,” you told the computer screen. “The fruit and veggies you usually get are in the fridge.”

Lewis didn’t respond. Instead, he sat on the couch tucked into the corner of the room and watched you.

“What are you doing on the computer?” Lewis asked.

“Stuff,” you answered. “Is there something you need, Lewis?”

Lewis didn’t answer.

He didn’t respond because he knew he fucked up. He didn’t know how to fix it. He always had an answer, but not this time.

“Honey—“ he started but you quickly pushed the desk chair back and stood up.

“I forgot to give Roscoe water. I have to go do that.”

Then you were out the office door and didn’t even spare him a glance as you slammed the door behind you.

Lewis stared at the throw blanket on the couch. He moved to follow you down to the kitchen, but he heard you stomping back up the steps.

That’s when Lewis moved. He opened the office door and followed you into the bedroom.

“Bab—“ he started but you didn’t even let him finish.

“Roscoe has water and I filled his dry food bowl,” you said without looking at him, heading towards the en suite.

“Can you listen and look at me for a minute!” Lewis snapped back, stopping you dead in your tracks.

You locked eyes and there it was. Or actually, there it wasn’t. There was nothing there.

He needed to fix this. Now. “I’ve been an asshole the last few days. I have a lot on my mind but what I did wasn’t cool.”

“It’s fine Lewis,” you replied immediately. You went back to the bathroom and began washing your hands.

“I should have communicated with you more,” he said to you.

“Don’t worry about it. All good.”

He made a move to get closer to you when suddenly you slapped your hands on the counter, whirled towards him, lifting a finger and pointing at him.

“Don’t come near me” you snapped. “You don’t get a right to come in here after two fucking days of not speaking to me. We had a fantastic time in Vegas and then we came home and you turned into a different person. You may be dealing with shit but I’m your fucking partner. We deal together,” you jabbed a finger towards his chest, “and don’t you try to show up and think you can fix your mistakes with a few words Lewis. You hurt me and my feelings. I’m going for a drive and don’t follow me.”

Then you turned and walked out the bedroom door slamming it behind you.

Lewis stared at the space where he last saw you and did it until the burn in his throat and heart faded.

He didn’t have to look at the clock to know this took a while.

Then he opened the bedroom door and made his way back downstairs where this all started.

[grind-pantera]

Empathy. ( Noa x Human! Reader.) Part Six.

me: i hate cliffhangers me: whoops.

Title: Empathy. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. Pairing: Heavily Implied Noa x Human!Reader. Words: 6.2K. Summary: You had shown Noa empathy once and had to explain it. Was he able to reciprocate? READ THE SERIES HERE. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Mouth agape, you found words beyond your comprehension. What were you supposed to say to an Ape who just gave you back your freedom? Who salvaged you from mere moments away from death, holding you in an almost animated state as you drifted in and out of consciousness before tendering to your wound, always so diligent, always so careful. The words ‘thank you’ sprang to mind, but between the tears falling down your cheeks, wave after wave of relief and grief striking at your senses and numbing your fingertips and toes, that seemed juxtaposed. 

Of course you were thankful, the Ape who gave you such an opportunity had to know that. What he didn't know was why you were crying, face contorted almost to the point of unrecognition, salt exploding on your tongue when you gasped and sucked some tears into your throat. Coughing slightly, you raise a hand to cover your mouth and then wipe at your eyes in a bid to get yourself grounded again so you could say something, say anything to Noa who looked at you like he’d just clipped your wings instead of giving them back. 

“Why?” You finally managed to peep something out of your lips despite your mouth being incredibly dry and desolate. 

Earning to phrase more than that, your mouth fell lax on your face as you looked at him, green eyes looking back with the glow of the firepit illuminating the undertones of gold that lingered delicately along the landscape of his irises. This was a question that wasn’t needed. In what right mind where you to even ask why you were being let go? It wasn’t as if either of you really had the intentions of you staying beyond the care they gave. Noa had told you once, and you wondered if that was going to be his answer here. 

The Eagle Clan, unlike the others of the valley, did not kill humans unless they were an extensive threat, and they certainly did not mercy kill. It never rested well with you that that’s the only explanation you’d gotten. Your hands rolled into balls at your side, the encapsulating white nature of them from the pressure of your grasp was evident to Noa’s eyes which were quick to dart to your face. You didn't appear angry. Why? Why heal me? Why just let me go like that’s it? 

The idea arose in your mind, a bitter hypothetical that you just wanted to throw in his face but you refrained in fear of the possibility of him snapping and frankly attacking you. They say they’re peaceful, but how peaceful are they? You could have been a terrible human, done terrible things and these Apes, this… Noa just wanted to believe your words when you told him that you weren’t a bad one, a leap of faith off a terribly built bridge. A bad Echo, like he and his friends had seen. You could leave here and tell other human groups about the danger, about the existence of a Clan that did not want to kill humans by law, but chose to save them. They’d never believe you, the other humans.

They’d find it a joke, they’d hunt down the Clan out of fear like you were irrationally considering at the moment. They scared you, the way that Noa looked at you and understood what you were saying with a deeper level of understanding scared you. 

You could tell them the Apes were a threat, the thought beaten into your mind from years upon years of hearing the same thing. They could be coming to kill all of them, and burn this place to the ground so the village was nothing more than a heap of ashes that you’d parade around in. He wanted to believe your words just as much as you wanted to believe theirs but no matter how many nights you spent awake here, tossing and turning and muttering like a madman about it, trying to come to some semblance of understanding, it never became clear to you. Two dominant species, one slightly advantageous from a number stand point, could not co-exist together. Noa had to know that, you knew it better than most, a flash of red hit your eyes.

You wanted to scream at him for not answering you. You wanted to shake him into submission. Nothing but a pitiful silence blanketed over the two of you as Noa intently contemplated his answer, which was not typical. When you had asked why all of this happened, it was the same answer. Always the same set words and phrases that were always enough to tide you over until you asked again, futile, but eager to hear something different from the male Ape.

Bile bubbled at the back of your throat at the meager thought that you enjoyed the drawing of Noa’s vocals - so strained, delicate around some words and more aggressive with others. He spoke often to you but used a mix of sign language and speech with the others. They could have been using signing to talk about what to do with you right in front of your face and you’d have no idea. His voice was always gentle though - settling you into a moment of peace when he’d come for meals, when he’d stay a bit longer than either of you felt was necessary. You just wanted him to speak, even if the answer was not one you wanted to hear.

“Why?”

“Eagle Clan does not-” "Why?” “I… don’t understand…” Noa quipped at you and came forward on all fours. Instinctually, your shoulders tensed up in preparation of being attacked - it never came but you fell into a rather tedious stare down with him. There was no way to get him to understand, it was such a human element, that morbid curiosity to know more about the metaphorical saviors and why they’re just letting you go. 

“You call tell me all about the Eagle Clan and that they don’t kill humans who aren’t threats,” You uttered to him and un-balled your hands from your side so you could push a piece of rebellious hair behind your ear. Noa watched the movement and flex of your fingers, subconsciously his elongated fingers moved along with yours against the ground. “I get that, that’s all you’ve ever told me but… I just want to know… why you’re doing this to me. Why just heal me and then let me go? A-aren’t you worried I could bring other humans back here?”

From the look on his face it was obvious that the thought had transpired for Noa. It was a heavy weight on his shoulders, the idea that you were worse than he bargained for. But, taking chances was what Leaders needed to do and the shift in his demeanor when he thought about just keeping you prisoner was uncomfortable. All he yearned for was to be better than he was, to do something beneficial for his people, for their advancements. He could feel his Father inside of his mind, like a guiding hand at times but this was past that and Noa found himself straggling for advice from Koro even though he had gone to fly with the Eagles of the past. Noa felt alone and isolated in his thoughts, the only solace that came was when he’d think about Raka, or when he’d preen Eagle Sun in meditation. The young Ape was worried. Beyond that, he was terrified to lose everything again. 

“Echo could…” He hated himself. Oh, how the loathing set in to his shoulders, his spine and his ribs with passionate fire as he proceeded and pushed himself apart from the fear of the unknown, “Could stay… With the Eagle Clan.” Your eyes widened, tears still bubbling at the corners. “Wh…” “Make agreement,” Noa was setting forth a transaction, you realized and tried to bring yourself down from the terror that rose in the back of your mind that he was even capable of that and understanding it as a means to get what he wanted. Intelligent, far away from what humans had thought. “You stay, Clan can offer you food, shelter…”

He paused and looked over at you. There was something written on your face that he was unable to read. Your eyes were staring at him, widened almost to the point where Noa wondered if you were ever going to look at him with normal gazes, your mouth had fallen open, jaw slacked a bit. He could see the sheen of saliva against your tongue as you grappled, wanting to speak but nothing coming to fruition. 

 There was another part to this. There was no reason to keep you unless he himself got something in return. That’s how transactions worked, that’s how you played a game with invisible chips. You braced yourself, it had to be something awful. Had to be otherwise Noa would just come out and say it, at least, that was your assumption. You had no way of knowing, you barely knew him.

“You tell me about Echo’s. How… do they live, what… beliefs they have.” You blinked at that. If you weren’t all there and able to process, at first glance, this seemed like an incredibly good deal. You got the assurance of safety from being with the clan, you got fed and could say goodbye to the nights of lost sleep due to starvation, you’d get shelter, no longer having to brave the cold of winter and sweltering of the summers. All in exchange for… you telling him about your culture, about how humans are. It was incredibly biased, you didn't speak for the whole of mankind but from the earnest look he gave you at the proposition, he’d already weighed that into this calculation. 

“For how long?” Noa didn't need to think that through as he replied quietly, “As long as you are able to help me understand.”

“Understand?” "The ways of Caesar.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

It was like you had forgotten how to speak. The ideas in your mind were rampant and ripe, the opening of himself to you was more than a draw, it was yearning and pulling you in with an invisible point of gravity. Sickening, but all the more delicious on the tip of your tongue. You took your time to trace the outline of his open hand that presented itself to you.

Swallowing back a choked cry was easy enough as you raised your head to get a better glance at it, but the tears were still fresh against your skin and kissed the delicate nature under your eyes like a thousand bricks. Your eyelids were red, you knew, your lips felt chapped and your mind was stagnant now after being so flooded. Unable to think, unable to process. You… had no idea what to reciprocate with, and no doubt lingering in your position was pure torture to the Ape who was holding out for you to do something.

There was nothing, you felt a small push in your chest as your heart rose to beat against the base of your neck - uncomfortable and all encompassing, you felt like you were being suffocated. Like Noa had a hand against your throat and he was pushing in with all his strength to get the last of your breath for his own selfish intent. You’d let him, your voice rang inside of your head, the first thought to finally leave your battered mind. You’d let him touch you like that if it meant you were able to feel him against you. 

Your shoulders dropped in some form of disappointment that you were able to will yourself back into a state of awareness. You had wanted to drift into nothingness and let your mind follow suit, maybe then you could get a break from the pull you had toward the Ape in front of you and the subsequent push you found yourself contemplating when you thought about it too long. The push you gave yourself, backwards, away from Noa, away from his hand, so open and ready for you. You were grasping at the ground with your hands, someone pulling at your feet and no matter what you tried, you were unable to leverage onto anything to stop from being pulled right under.

There were no indications as to what Noa was doing when your mind finally caught up to itself; this was in nature similar to how you had seen other Apes apologizing, but he had nothing to be apologetic about. His question? Completely reasonable, unlike the absolute thrush of agony that laid out as a result. Your emotional response had to have startled him - the crying had to have been off putting, your hands wrapped around yourself blocked Noa from reading you. None of it is Noa's fault, you told yourself over and over again as you stared at his hand. The rise and fall of his shoulders captivated your attention, how frantic it was. He was breathing through his nose, you could tell from the nature of ragged inhales and exhales. 

Maybe this entire thing could have been avoided if you were just truthful with him in your answers before, if you didn't seek to keep a part of yourself to yourself. That wasn’t the case anymore, it felt like a radical transformation happened and you were reeling from the turnaround, dizzying in nature, enough to make your stomach surage in a pleasurable way when you took time to think about it. The fact that you became so dependent on Noa, that you didn't find yourself wanting to burrow away from you own being and you wanted to share it with him. It scared you. It terrified you. And all you wanted to do was run away. The grasp he could have on you if you went for it and placed your own palm into his own, the sheer force of his elongated fingers encasing yours, holding onto it in a bid to never let go. Your mind flooded. Why would he never want to let you go? Human. Echo.

The overbearing thought of having to unravel yourself was smothering. You didn't want to - you liked the hold you had on yourself, compressing into what felt like nothingness. The seething fire of your ribcage pressed so snugly into your knees, your arms holding themselves around your kneecaps to keep formation. All so soothing, all so lonely and encapsulating. You met eyes - lush grass coloring poured into you and for a second, maybe more as you often found yourself lost in Noa’s eyes, as you returned the stare, you felt like you were going to be picked up and drifted off. 

Noa didn't falter - he steadfastly kept his hand out for you, shifting forward an inch or two on his feet to beckon the silent question again that he was posing with his hand. Noa felt like he was encased against you. The wall that had been stacked brick by brick by the two of you was demolished and laid pitifully on the ground covered in dust and ashes.

You… needed to accept him, Noa pleaded inside of his mind and shut his eyes pensively, waiting and drawing close to the line of impatience. He didn't know what he would do if you were to reject this moment, to choose to go on with your life and force him to deal with the consequences of getting emotionally involved with an Echo. He’d never trust again, he’d never bring himself to. That was incredibly finite but Noa refused to rationalize any further. 

What he wanted from you - what you wanted from him was known to both, was never spoken to either. 

“I don-- I don’t know what you want.” Whispering softly, your voice came to a taper of a stop when you felt tears exploding down your face again. 

You were so weak, you weren’t even able to accept whatever it was that he was offering, as if Noa knew that himself. He didn't. The same tug you had that sought for more but always hesitated and pulled him back was more than evident when his hand shifted mid-air, backwards towards himself. A moment's worth of hesitation before he thrusted it back forward. He was not weak this time. He refused to fall back and let forces take away from the good of his life. Noa had to burden that enough with the loss of his Father. He’d wrestle and fight aggressively against any forces stopping him now. 

“Echo word…” Noa’s voice was remarkably smooth but you knew better. The shaking around the words was evident, the dip in his tone was more than forthcoming. He was holding himself together by a thread. “Told me once…Noa… Noa feels what you feel.”

Empathy.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Solace was found in his mind when there weren't heavy conversations happening. They were frequent, and Noa enjoyed listening to what you had to say. He’d sit and process for a few days, maybe more if he had thoughts regarding the Echo topic he had chosen to ask about, and would come back to you with inquiries days later but… He also liked the languid silence that encased you when there wasn’t any pressure to talk.

The shift of your bodies next to each other, Noa’s shoulders bracing with dexterity as he worked with both hands, your fingers tightly at work on your own personal hobby.  He thought about the delicate touch that your hand had against the twine you were working on making. The fleshed out wood, splintered into thin angular pieces as you essentially braided to your heart's content to complete a piece that was only a few inches in length. Most likely for jewelry, Noa thought to himself with a small chuckle. 

While you were not good at basket making, you did excel in the realm of making necklaces or bracelets, the intricate detailing you used with beads made of rocks, some smooth, some flushed and coarse, most were black or gray in color, naturally rounded by years of beating around the bottom of the river floor. Some red from the valley clay, some more blue and blistered with black in the cracks, some even carved from wood.

 Lightly placing a hand against the small pouch the Eagle Clan leader kept near his chest, he thought about it a bit longer. Inside held a gift from you, which at the moment of giving, you had been uncharacteristically nervous. It was a bracelet you had made for him, but without ever actually touching his wrists, you had made it inadvertently too small but Noa still kept it on himself and often liked to think about the smile you had given him when he accepted it, pushing aside notion that it was special when you gifted Anaya and Soona similar pieces. As you should, Noa was no different to you than they were. 

Acquaintances by circumstance, friends by choice.

The detailing that went into your work was always attentive, much like how Noa worked  Always, he found parallels and dwindled on them but was too oblivious to take note of the way your eyes fell when he was near, so similar to how he would look at you when you were not paying any attention; seemingly the only time the young Chimp was able to look at you with a softer touch. 

The male Ape next to you was carving out chunks at a time from the wooden piece in his right hand, a meter or so in length, hopefully to complete a fishing spear that was more suitable for your smaller hands. He had seen the struggle only recently - a few days ago at the river with Anaya and Soona and the absolute embarrassment you had at trying to hold up Noa’s spear but to no avail. You had nearly toppled straight into the water, face first when the spear left your hand from the sheer momentum it garnered from its distributed weight. The wood was thick and heavy and you explained to him quietly that you didn't have the upper arm strength to use it. 

This sort of tandem dance, without Soona or Anaya, was what Noa and yourself found when not conversing. Not that there were complaints, there were none and you found yourself enjoying the spotted glances you got of him, taking in the close details of his face and his body language.

The smoothing of his forehead, brow now taking a less intimidating stature, his shoulders laxed with trust that had been built between the two of you, his eyes so intensely focused on the task at hand. Your breath hitched in your throat when you looked at them and somewhere deep inside of your subconscious, you wanted nothing more than to have him look at you with that primal intent. Unbeknownst to him, moments like these were now your seldom favorite.

You drew a deep breath in, Noa could hear it as his head tilted to the side so he could look closer at the spearhead he deemed worthy to use for your fishing spear, “I’m sorry about your Father.” 

That tore Noa out of the daydream he was holding onto while his hands suddenly found themselves finnicking around a spearhead and the piece of wood he was working with. You never brought up topics of conversation around him, it was always the other way around. Noa had figured that maybe you just didn't care - you were both with each other to fulfill a sense of duty and you never delved too far into personal issues at this point. He had asked you about yours, having been shut down and you only got glimpses of his own - probably in a bid to get you to trust him further if he showed a bit of openness.

The topic of conversation was completely out of left field and for a second it felt like you had a serious case of not being able to keep your mouth shut and knowing your place - you had only talked about his Father once before a few days ago during your last intent session of conversations, when you had to help him come down and explain that things were not his fault. There was nothing tethering either of you to continue that topic of conversation but you found yourself reaching for it. Sure, your thoughts that he was not to blame were based in truth from what he had told you about the events. 

How the fire consumed almost all his Clan, how Noa fought to the edge of his life against Sylva, a Gorilla who then took his Father away. Noa never went into detail about that, and you were surely going to consider yourself lucky if he continued this particular means of speaking to you. You wanted to, you felt your chest surge with unbridled selfishness. You wanted him to talk to you about it and wrap you into his embraced words with fever. Noa never quite shook the feeling away from his chest that consumed his senses when he thought about it but when he looked at you, the warmth of your gaze, he placed the spearhead and wooden shaft down on the ground in front of him.

It was his fault, he had not been fast enough to warn his people. All those lost that night, all those lost when Mae betrayed him and having to come to terms that they were gone and his Clan was more thinned as a result. How could he not put the blame on himself when he leaned so heavily into his Father’s ways now and never appreciated them in their entirety until they were gone? He shifted with discomfort and looked over at you momentarily - the eye contact lasting less than a second before he looked back at his hands. You recognized it, mentally slapping yourself on the head at the fact that you were so bold as to bring it up. 

“Why Echo apology?” He finally asked, quiet and reserved, he had his chin tilted downwards so you couldn’t see his face properly. That was a terribly good question, you posed to yourself and looked down at your hands in a mimic of Noa’s action. One that you couldn’t bring yourself to quite garner an answer for. There was nothing said as Noa looked over at you, kindly twirling a piece of twine between your fingers. You were lost in deep thought, he knew the crease of your forehead very well. “Just…” You spoke so caressingly that Noa was entranced to watching your lips form the words, “It’s called empathy.” 

There was a tug inside of you to just fess up why you actually were offering an apology. It made clear sense to you that the concept and grasp of empathy was strewn between the two of you. There was no vivid detailing to you that Noa even understood what that meant - the pull to offer condolences instead of apologies because you knew how it felt, that he wasn’t alone and neither were you. That line between yourself and Noa shifted but you couldn’t bring yourself to acquire any personal artifacts to back up your words. You swallowed, finally able to feel your saliva coating your throat so you could speak properly. Echo word, echo explanation. 

“It’s uh…” You cleared your throat and pressed onwards, “That feeling you... get when you share a feeling with someone, or at least understand what someone else is going through.” Noa narrowed his eyes at you in a tranced confusion. Share… feelings? He waited patiently for you to continue, to give context but it didn't come. You were looking back down at your hands again, unable to make contact with Noa’s gaze. You were opened and then closed in such a quick fashion that it left him feeling secluded, reaching for an answer you weren’t going to get him and leaving him all the more confused than before. Silence surrounded the two of you again, this time, Noa felt like he was trying to swim to the surface of breathing but found that he was willingly letting himself be submerged innately. 

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Trying to swallow, you found it difficult as your throat closed at his words. This was something known to the Apes but they didn't associate a word to the emotion until you told him about it in a fleeting moment of rare openness of the past. That habit of saying sorry for the most mundane of things, things that had nothing to do with you, came from a place of empathy especially when you explained it using his Father’s death as an example. You never explained your based premise, and how you knew how it felt, you just… Sunk your eyes into Noa’s, so deep that you had an imaginary grasp on his lungs, and whispered to him that you were sorry. Nothing else in that moment mattered - it didn't need to. 

There was no fear anymore, you had torn past that months ago when you noticed the gaze he gave you would soften, when you noticed the way he talked to you smoothed… All terror gone, replaced by the morbid hope that there was something more happening, that he would allow something more to happen. You’d always pinned it on loneliness - on wanting a sense of belonging. There was no more of that, it was evident in the way you looked at him when you were in the throes of conversation, how you leaned towards him when you were standing close to one another. You had always wanted him to reach out and now that he did? You were frozen. Noa’s mind was relentless with deprecation. You were going to reject this. There was no benefit to you to accept, there was no way for you to know what it meant, to know that it meant more to Noa than at first glance and that gave the Eagle Clan leader pause as his mouth fell open and he panted quietly next to you, eager and desperate to ease some of the oppressive state his lungs found themselves in, his heart felt like it was going to fall right out and bury itself into the ground to escape the absolute torment. 

He could make you, he thought. He could take it upon himself to be more forthcoming and force you to accept his offering. Maybe… he muttered to himself and tilted his head to the side in contemplation, maybe that’s how Echo enjoyed it. Would you? Would you want him to grab your hand in his and force the action onto itself? The idea was entrancing, the ghosting of your fingers against his, scrabbling to let go as he shoved you down to submit. Swallowing lightly, even Noa thought that a bit extreme. He had always played along to your comforts, your desires and wants. To dive into his own like that could end in disaster, injury to you surely or you ultimately leaving him as it dawns upon you that life here, life within the Eagle Clan, was not as satisfactory as you had wanted it to be when his initial offer for you to stay arose.

It was one of empathy, he tried to convince himself, one of understanding. He knew how it felt to lose someone with great meaning, he just wanted to let you know without words that he understood the mental twisting you were going through. That’s just what he told himself to ease the pain of rejection a bit more; this was a mutual understanding, similar in nature to when you agreed to stay with the Eagle Clan. There couldn’t be emotions, there couldn’t be any senses entrapped with ideas that anything more could actually bear fruit for either of you. 

Chimpanzee. Ape.

Noa squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of your fingers barely grazing against his palm. At first, he thought it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, there was no way that you had moved forward and he didn't notice. Noa always noticed the most subtle of your movements, even the less graceful ones that left you embarrassed. He took solace in that for the time being, your face scrunched as you told him it wasn’t funny that you had tripped, that your balance was not on par with his own. How you looked at him, how you looked away, reddened flushed against your cheeks.

For a split second, the fur on his shoulders rose at the sensation, anticipating more than what you were giving him. He’d let you go on - grab at him in frustration, dig your fingernails into him, he deserved it. Leading his eyelids forward, he slid his gaze open and dropped it. You hadn’t moved your hand away, instead, you were placing the pads of your fingertips against the calloused nature of his palm, almost like you were aiming to trace the lines that encased his skin there. 

So… so soft, he wanted to break them all, every one of your phalanges, every one of your tendons, all the way up to your wrist. Just some feeble attempt to make you his, mark you as his. You had no idea what you were agreeing with this time, you didn't feel like asking which Noa found a bit of a relief at knowing he didn't need to provide a tender answer right then when your fingers twitched against his skin. Noa, in all honesty, had no idea what he was asking of you either. The decimation of his thoughts exploded before him, before he had time to put them in a safe spot. 

The redness of your eyes and nose rubbed away, tears along your cheeks, drying now, but fresh ones still held their grasp at the corners of your eyelids. The glow of your small fire pit illuminated the air around you and gave the illusion that your hair was encased in a delicious afterglow of orange and mild yellow. He stopped breathing, at least that's how it felt to have you holding him. You were… holding him like he mattered to you. He couldn’t stop himself from the mild obsession about it, knowing that when the intricacy broke and you asked him to leave, he was going to still feel your fingers burning holes into him. He wanted nothing more than that, if he were rightfully honest.

You had seen it done between Noa and Anaya, an embrace of sorts where they grasped at each other's forearms. Temptation bit you. Would… Would Noa be accepting of that if you pressed inwards? If you touched intimately, in private? Would he shake it off in denial and tell you that it had passed the line he had drawn for himself?  What did it mean to Apes when they did that?

It was a burning question you had since you had first seen it, but it seemed so far out of your grasp to ask Noa what it meant when you were there to give him answers, not the other way around. It’s not too far from a side hug, it wasn’t like a hug of familiarity and mutual feelings it was more of a … a mutual understanding, you put it lightly in your mind to hinder the annoyance that this pull towards each other was more than just your imagination. 

You opened your mouth to stagger out a phrase, though you had no idea what you were even going to talk about but Noa broke the contact first and dropped his hand in the air so you weren’t connected anymore. Your fingers splayed for him, following downwards before you brought your hand back towards you to tightly spring around your knees once again. He had no reason to linger, you told yourself, he had no reason to want to touch you, in all your Echoness.

Finding your eyes resting on the fire, you lightly brought your head up to watch as the flames bustled against themselves, fighting for some dominance back and forth before becoming one larger entity. Bile rose in your chest like a bee sting - gross and infected around the edges, you felt like you were going to throw up. You had broken down in front of him from a question he posed and you accepted his apology in return, never looking at the action as more than that. As Noa had intended it to be looked at. An acceptance of himself.

An acceptance that this was going to work, one way or another.

You accepted an apology.

He was denied satisfaction and knowledge that you… felt the same as he did.

The way he shifted his body away from yours made you want to crawl away, it looked so defensive. It was obvious from the tightening of his shoulders, his hands setting on knuckles on the ground below, that he was deeply focusing on the introspective of what happened. Never in the moment as it happened, Noa had a tendency to drive himself down with thoughts afterwards. It was an apology he was asking for, you finally put two and two together. He was apologizing to you for even asking that question again, one that he knew would garner him an unfavorable response due to your lack of having answered it before. You accepted the apology without a care. Without reserve and now you two sat in petulance, grief riding on you and shame rising against Noa.

“Noa I---” You were weeping to apologize to him. He had done nothing wrong, you needed to tell him that. You needed him to look at you like he always did - with marvel and wonder, like you actually meant something to him rather than just a means to get knowledge that was outside of his grasp. Your fingers slicked across the skin of your arms and tightened themselves.

“I have… one more thing I… I need to know…” He told you, looking out the window pensively. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, he was solely focusing on the sky outside, looking through the small window of your hut that was often covered for privacy as it drifted from a midnight navy to a pitch black. Midnight, maybe later.

“D...-” Noa stuttered and clamped his teeth together out of minored frustration. Gritting his teeth against each other, he relished the feeling it gave him, so coarse and mean, enough to keep him grounded to ask, “Do--- Do you think about leaving…” Me? He wanted to prospect but couldn’t bring himself to do that. “Leaving the Eagle Clan? To find more Echo’s? To--- Have a family, not Apes who don’t understand. Noa want--- I need… To know.” ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・ Tag list: @ohwaitimthewriter @hera-annwn @saturnnie-03 @filliandkili

@hadesbabygurl @supergoat12 @moonchild1433

@kaenalsha @unsteady-bitch @whamsworld

@yummyfanta @nuhteyam @babylockley @edynmeyer1  @callsignwidow @moonlightnyx

[mxtantrights]

how does dick grayson act when hes jealous 😋😋

a/n: thank you for sending this in anon!! I can't tell you how much I love you for it. this was really fun !!!! <3333

Dick Grayson doesn't get jealous. Or so you think. It's just that-he''s Dick Grayson. What would he have to be jealous about? He's got a great smile, a flirty personality, a nice ass, people flock to him with the bat of his eyelashes.

So sitting across your date for the night, you didn't expect to see Dick Grayson just a few feet in front of you at the bar. He didn't exactly make himself discreet either. He's turned right to you, eyeing you up.

You look back to your date.

"Do you think this date is going well?" you ask straight up.

They look at you, a bit flabbergasted at the brutal honesty of your question.

"I mean, I would say it's going to my liking. Wha-how is it going for you?" they ask.

You smile and shrug, "It's going well. It was."

"Was?" they ask.

Dick Grayson grabs his drink and downs it. Its chilling to see. Chilling and also hot. You didn't think he was the type. The knock 'em back because I'm Jealous type. The jealous type.

"Yeah, because I've got a feeling that we won't be seeing each other again." you answer.

"Wait is this some new tactic to let me down? If so you can just tell me. I can take it." they reply.

You shake your head, "Its not a tactic, but there's this guy I'm also seeing. He just walked in."

"Ah, so I lost out." your date says.

You look at them. If you hadn't met Dick Grayson this date would be going exceptionally well. You'd be laughing, having fun, not worrying about some other guy who has your attention.

You originally didn't think about this date as a date.

It wasn't until you woke up last weekend and got a text from an unknown number. One of your friends had sent you your date's number and picture thinking you would be interesting.

Not knowing that you were wrapped up in the sheets with Dick. Who, also happened to the message. And that fueled another round with him that was exciting and passionate. All for him to say that you should go on that date, ya know since the two of you weren't official.

His words.

You weren't necessarily trying to make him regret his words. You were trying to bend yourself to them actually. Because he was right, you aren't official.

But Dick Grayson sitting at the bar a few feet from your date? That wasn't casual.

"But be honest, did I really charm you enough for a date or was there another reason?" you ask them.

They sit back in their chair with a sad smile on their face.

"You caught me. Yeah. This would be my first date after a long relationship." they answer.

"You could always say it was good. Because it was. I'm just not..." you trail off.

"not available." they finish off the sentence for you.

"Yeah." you answer simply.

"That's okay. I can pay for the bill and we can just end it here." they say.

They hail down the waiter and ask for the bill. But somehow, your bill has been paid. Your eyes dart back to Dick at the bar. He raises his glass towards you.

"Wow, I guess this is some sort of lucky / unlucky date." they joke.

You laugh at that. And then your date gets up from their seat, and bids you goodbye. You say the same and sit back in your chair. Waiting for the inevitable.

You reach into your bag for your lipgloss. As you grab it and take it out, you don't pay attention to the sound of the chair in front of you moving. You reapply your lipgloss.

"Fun date?" a voice asks.

You look across from you. Dick.

"yeah. you having a nice night?" you ask him.

Dick grins and takes a swig of his drink. It's almost down to the bottom. You can't tell if he got another one before he left the bar or not.

"Not really no. I pushed the one person that makes me happy into something because I got scared." he admits.

"Scared of what?" you ask.

"Scared of happiness. I realized how happy you made me and I didn't want to ruin it, but I ruined it anyways. I'm so so sorry for doing that to you." he explains.

You nod your head.

"So I'm so irresistibly charming and I make you so happy that you crashed my date, paid the bill, and apologized for the whole thing?" you least lightly.

Dick shakes his head, "I shouldn't get your forgiveness. I mean I deserve to be put on time-out or put in a corner."

"You're a grown man, Dick. I'm not about to do that to you. I just want you to know what you want." you say.

"I want you." he says effortlessly.

You smile, "Good. Because I'm not seeing anyone else."

"I haven't see anyone else since we first kissed." Dick admits.

[hanuelkim]

One bed Hyunjin

Your body was so tense as you laid down on the airbed with Hyunjin, from the moment everyone began to go into their tents for the night you got nervous. Luana promised you that she would share a tent with you but she disappeared with one of her brother's friends leaving you alone with him for the night.

"You're acting as though you've never had to share a bed with someone before, you sleep in the same bed as Luana all the time." Hyunjin reminded you as you tried to relax next to him on the small air bed that you were laying on but it was hard when he was right behind you, trying to sleep as well. The two of you had been placed into one tent since everyone else was in couples and Luana wanted to be alone with her crush. There was nothing but an unzipped sleeping bag covering you and Hyunjin, nothing separating you both except for your clothes.

"It's a little different sleeping next to my best friend and then her brother," You told him as you looked over your shoulder at him, even in the dimly lit room he looked fantastic. There were five of you all camping out together in the middle of nowhere, your best friend had convinced you to go along with her so she could get closer to her crush without Hyunjin getting in the way.

"I know she only brought you along so that you would distract me," He inched closer to you and you began to grow nervous at the thought of him being this close to you, your best friend was in a tent two tents away from you on her "own" but you knew she was really in the tent with her crush.

"Aren't you wondering how you could distract me?" His hands were drawing small patterns into your skin as you shivered, shaking your head as you waited for him to answer you but all he did was turn you over so you were looking at him this time.

"Well, she knows that we get along-" You tried to give the excuse that you and Hyunjin were friends but he started chuckling and cut you off.

"No, she knows that whenever you're around I can't think straight and I tend to get relaxed around you," If your heart could have jumped out of your chest it would have done, it would have slapped you across the face before running off into the dead of night.

"What?" You asked even though you'd heard him the first time and he chuckled bringing you closer to him once again. Chest to chest with him as you tried to control your breathing,

"I have a crush on you Y/n," He whispered as you stared at him, without a moment's thought about it you leant forward and kissed him. Relaxing against him as you felt the rest of the world melt away around you both, he slowly pulled you closer to him. His arms wrapping around your waist as he pushed his body against you, running his tongue along your bottom lip as he asked for entrance.

"I'm assuming you like me back?" He chuckled as you whined when he pulled away from the kiss, you nodded at him trying to kiss him

again but he shook his head, holding his finger up to his lips as he heard something outside.

"Don't try and scare me it won't work," You said one thing but acted another as you clutched onto him not wanting him to leave you alone in the tent to figure out what it was.

"It's probably just Felix going to the toilet," You told him as you kissed him again, running your lips down his jawline as you whined for him to kiss you again.

"You're so needy and I haven't done anything except kiss you." He chuckled, holding your face in place as he looked into your eyes. His whole demeanour seemed to change as he kissed you again, he was hungrier this time as he rolled his hips down against you and kissed you roughly.

[berryz-writes]

Jealousy

PART 2

Azriel x reader

Summary: Your forced to spend the weekend with Azriel the bane of your existence but little do you realize he doesn't completely hate you

Nfjznxsfdzfdxj this took a while my other WIP’s were distracting me. also ignore any mistakes, enjoy lovelies <33

part 1

It was torture. Downright torture. Pretending like last night hadn't happened was wreaking havoc on my brain. I didn't know how to forget about it. I couldn't.

The memory of Azriel pulling me closer, his face resting in the crook of my neck, the way his gentle hands rested on my waist, his legs tangled with mine pulling me impossibly closer. Gods I was going to go crazy.

Everywhere it went it seemed his reminders were there. The dagger I was using in training was the one Azriel had given me last solstice when mine had been snatched by an Attor. The laces on my boots were from his because apparently mine weren’t sturdy enough. 

“Where do you get your shoes from? These are awful quality” He asked, crouching down in front of me and taking his laces out to adjust them into my boots, all the while muttering about how I could have tripped and hurt myself. 

The coffee the cabin had made this morning on my command was made with a hint of cinnamon. Something Azriel had recommended to make the taste better. He was everywhere I went and it was driving me crazy.

He hadn't even mentioned last night once. Didn't even give me some sort of hint that he remembered or that it actually meant something to him. We had continued the day as if everything was normal, his biting remarks more constant and grating.

***

"We're going back on Monday" Azriel called out to me unwrapping the white gauze from his knuckles. I pulled out my dagger (yes the same one Azriel had gifted me) from the target piece of wood and frowned. Two days later? "Why aren't we going today?"

Azriel didn't look at me, instead he put his daggers in his belt making sure each one was in the proper position before replying "If I've said it there's probably a reason why. Do you have to ask questions every time?"

My frown deepened as I surveyed him from this distance. He had his wings folded together and his expression was foul as if a personal wrong had been done against him. So what if he was in a mood? Didn't mean he had to be so rude.

"I'm not going to follow your orders blindly. Tell me" I moved closer to him and stopped in front of him, the biting cold of the village hitting me now that I had stopped training. I waited for him to explain why we were spending any longer in a place like this. I yearned for the liveliness and warmth of Velaris. The golden sun beating down on me while I sat on the balcony and sipped on something cold.

We had been gone for one night and I know I was being dramatic but Azriel not giving me answers just annoyed the shit out of me even more.

He continued arranging his daggers and straightening his siphons until he deemed them perfect. Finally looking up to meet my eyes I could tell there was something wrong before he even opened his mouth. 

"There's a storm coming. It's not safe to fly tonight" His voice was controlled, as if he were trying to hide his emotions, his eyes not making direct contact with me.

I let out a scoff "And what? Winnowing doesn't exist anymore?" I knew the way I said it would rile him up. Yes I could have phrased it nicely but the way he was acting he didn't deserve it.

Eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching Azriel took a step closer to me. And then another until he was just inches away from me. His warmth radiated to me, my head having to tilt up slightly so I could look at his gorgeous face properly.

His voice was soft, the deadly stillness with which he stood unnerving me. "Velaris's shields have been compromised. Rhys is doing all he can from anyone finding out and if we break that balance. If we winnow in then that means the shield breaks." He scanned my features as if waiting for me to reply "Do you want the safety of all those people in jeopardy because of you?" His voice was quiet now, his breath blowing over me as he spoke.

A million thoughts invaded my mind as I thought of what he had stated. How had Velaris been compromised? And by who? And what was Rhys doing? I wondered if everyone back home was alright.

I took a deep breath trying not to get angry and understand the situation we were in “How long are we stuck here for?” 

It was Azriel’s turn to take a deep breath as if he knew the answer wouldn’t be one I wanted. “Minimum two more days''

Two whole days. I was going to go insane here. Either I would die from arguing with the brainless Illyrians or from hypothermia. A sudden blast of cold air hit me, reminding me of where I was stuck and who it was with. Sighing, I shook away my thoughts. I was being ungrateful. Azriel wasn’t so bad. And who knew what everyone else was going through. I opened my mouth to ask exactly that when he cut in “Everyone's fine. If it was serious we would have been called back for help whether the storm was brewing or not”

I nodded my head, the knot in my stomach loosening. As long as everyone was fine. Azriel nodded his head to the path that led to the cabin we were now sharing “You should go. I need to inform Keller of our prolonged stay”

I took it as his way of dismissing me and not wanting to talk to me. Turning around and starting down the frosted path, the warmth that engulfed me from Azriel's body evaporated completely, my footsteps quickening to reach the cabin. Slamming the cabin door shut I took out my hair tie and sat on the bed anger and disappointment flowing through me. The fire immediately started, the crackling sound the only noise in the wooden house. 

He was ignoring what had happened yesterday. He was being insufferable. He hadn’t even asked me, talked to me, mentioned it to me even once. I shifted through each word we had shared this morning and none of them consisted of him acknowledging last night. 

Azriel didn’t even tell me he wanted to forget last night, instead he let my imagination run wild on thinking if he regretted it or not. 

Maybe I was the over dramatic one. We hadn’t had sex, we hadn’t even kissed. But it felt like there was something else when he pulled me closer except for mutual dislike. 

Flopping back onto the soft bed I decided thinking of other things would do me some good. Anything other than Azriel at this point. 

Sitting up again and rifling through the side table drawers I finally found a slightly inky pen and a scrunched up piece of paper.

Hi Feyre, I heard what happened with the shield. I just wanted to check in and make sure everyone was fine. Give lots of kisses to Nyx from me. 

Ending the note with my name I vanished it away hoping Feyre would reply with some good news. In the time that I had done that Azriel walked in, flipping a dagger in his hand, his shadows moving slowly across his wings. I rolled my eyes at his arrogance and refused to start a conversation with him. If he could ignore what happened yesterday and act like it didn’t matter then so could I. I wasn’t going to act like an attention whore. No way. 

“What do you want to eat?” Was what he asked, settling into the armchair opposite me. I refused to look at him and instead let my eyes travel to the window where the sun was setting. 

“I’m not hungry” I finally replied when I could tell from his relentless gaze that he would not look away, his hazel eyes fixated on my every move, my every breath. 

A scoff escaped him and I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowed. Moving further back on to the bed I kicked off my boots and sat cross legged. 

“You’re always hungry at this time, don’t lie to me” Azriel stated. Raising an eyebrow and waiting for me to contradict him. I couldn’t. I was being annoying and difficult on purpose. Of course I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten since this morning.

Running a hand through his hair Azriel stood up and moved over to the small kitchen on the other side of the cabin. The cupboards contained any and every ingredient. I watched as he pulled out a different variety of ingredients and with the way he was looking at each one closely he didn’t know where to start. 

“Move. I’ll do it” I announced, getting off the bed and sliding across the floorboard to the mini kitchen. Azriel leaned sideways on the countertop, a slight smirk on his face as he watched me look at each ingredient. 

“What are you going to make?” He asked, clearly amused by something. Picking up the can of tomatoes I put them to the right, making a useful and bin category. 

“It doesn’t matter what I make, we both know you’re going to eat it” I replied, my eyebrows furrowed from concentration and the slight annoyance I held toward him. A sigh escaped his perfect lips as he folded his wings back 

“Why are you angry at me?”

I didn’t look at him, instead filled the metal pan with water and used my magic to heat it up. Once the bubbles had risen to the surface I added the raw pasta with a pinch of salt. 

“Y/n” His voice was sharp. Demanding. “Look at me” 

Finally turning to look at him my heart stopped beating for a good minute. Gods he was……he was something else. His warm eyes raked over my expression as if trying to find the reason for my annoyance, his lips looking as inviting as ever.

“What?” My voice didn’t come out as strong as I wanted to, instead it came out quiet and breathless. 

“What have I done wrong?” Azriel’s voice was softer than I expected, reminding me of last night. 

I decided to take the leap. I had had enough of evading the truth “You’re acting like last night didn’t happen. You’re ignoring me” 

Rather than an annoying smirk or a laugh coming from Azriel his eyebrows furrowed “I didn’t want you to feel like I expected something of you. And gods knows I can’t ignore you y/n. You’re perfect”

I let out an exasperated sigh, the steam from the boiling water making it warmer than it was before “I thought you wanted to forget about it. I’m not inside your brain Azriel”

Anger was there in his eyes but it vanished as soon as he saw my hurt expression “I’ve wanted you for so long. Every time I look at you I'm reminded that you aren’t mine. Every time you smile my heart beats faster and I don’t even know why” I swallowed at his words. What he was saying. 

He had liked me this whole time and I hadn't even realized. We were both as ignorant as each other. It was now or never.

“Make me yours then Azriel” I whispered back, waiting to see what he would say. His hands tilted my chin up and his lips met mine in the softest kiss possible. Moving his hands to my waist he lifted me up and sat me on the counter, slotting himself between my legs. Automatically my hands went to his curly hair, pulling him impossibly closer. 

The world had something against me I thought as the note I had sent Feyre arrived next to me. Azriel moved slightly back, giving me space to breathe. I didn't want that space but I didn’t say anything. I picked up the note and read it out loud, confusion increasing.

Hi y/n, 

Nyx says he misses you lots and wants you to come back. Everyone’s alright here, same as when you left. 

I’m not sure what you mean by the shield though? Is everything alright?

Putting the note down I slid off the marble top and looked at Azriel, hoping for answers. 

“Does Feyre not know about-” 

He cut me off, his hand against my mouth, startling me. His body pressed against mine, my back against the kitchen counter. 

“I lied. I wanted to stay with you for as long as possible. I would ask for your forgiveness but I’m not sorry for what I’ve done” His eyes twinkled with amusement, his deep voice washing over me. It took me a while to understand what he was actually saying, his proximity short circuiting my brain. He removed his hand waiting for me to reply. 

“Anything else you’ve lied about Shadowsinger?” I finally asked, my words coming out quietly.

His head dipped to my neck, his lips pressing small kisses on my collarbone and making his way up to my jaw. 

“I broke the cabin. I also fucked up that guy who called you a whore. Other than that…I’m an honest male” He murmured. My breath hitched as he attacked my skin, clearly wanting to leave a mark there. His hands had me caged, with no escape and I didn’t have it in me to be mad at him for lying. Yes he had broken the cabin. But if he hadn’t we wouldn’t have spent the night together and I would have never realized that Azriel harboured feelings for me. He had also gone out of his way to defend me when he didn’t need to.

I wanted to kiss him rather than shout at him for his confession. 

“I say we skip to dessert” Azriel whispered, his eyes full of desire, finally looking at me. My heart skipped a beat at his words but I swallowed and shook away my want for him. 

“Dessert is for after” I pushed against his chest to let me go but he held my wrists firmly “Promise I get dessert?”

I pretended to think about it, tilting my head “Hmm we’ll see”

Azriel’s eyes darkened but he let me go, my stomach tightening at the way he looked at me. I wanted him so bad. So god damn bad. But now that I had told him to wait I couldn’t go back on my words. Not to mention Azriel was probably already thinking of ways to make me beg for him.

I wouldn’t mind that of course.

MASTERLIST

[silken-moonlight]

Older Alpha x Human Waitress Part 8

A/N: I am back again! I hope you enjoy the next part of this series. I love you guys.

Here you find my other works.

[Your POV]

Desmond laughed deeply, his laugh a deep, rich sound.

"I missed your humor, Will," Desmond said and looked over to him before he turned his attention back to you. Your cheeks were burning from embarrassment.

"Are you okay, love?" I asked and tilted your head up with his hand, making you look into his thunderstorm eyes. You nodded slightly, hypnotized by his gaze. Your heart beat so fast that you were worried he could hear it. You were sure he could hear your heart.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" You didn't know what to say. He was hypnotizing, deeply caught in a trance.

"Lost for words?" He asked and you nodded. "I...Thank you." Was the only thing you could think of to say. You loved how bold he was and how he took control.

"Guys?" Will asked and waved to get attention. You immediately looked at him and smiled at him: "Sorry Will..." Your best friend chuckled: "Ah don't worry. Kit texted me and needs me to fix our computer. I'm going to go now." Kit was the nickname of Will's girlfriend. "Oh sure. It's so sad that you have to go early." You said and hugged him. "Let's meet up again with Kit next time, I miss her." You said and Will nodded. ""I'll tell her and text you when we can. Stay a little longer with Des. It's still early in the night, and you deserve to have some fun." Will told you and let go of you, waving at Desmond goodbye. After that, he was quickly gone.

You sat down again next to Desmond. He smiled at you. "Do you have more questions for me?" the alpha asked curiously. "Hmm... What would happen if you fell in love with a werewolf from another pack? What happens then?" you asked. Desmond smiled. "It's actually fairly easy. You decide which pack you want to live in. You're still welcome in the old pack, or you can live without a pack. Of course, sometimes it's a little more complicated, and not every pack lives by the same rules." You listened to him eagerly, drinking up all that information.

"It's the same for other kinds of beings, like vampires and fae. Our pack doesn't have any vampires or fae, but I know a few other packs that do," Desmond explained, leaning over to you again.

You drank more of your cocktail until it was empty, the alcohol slowly affecting you. "Do you have a nickname?" You asked him with a smug smile, feeling bold. "A nickname? No." His answer was brisk. You pouted at him and he laughed.

[Desmond's POV]

This whole thing made him feel so very good. Will had left them alone after seeing them flirt. His mate seemed to finally get the hint.

Did she know how hard it was to control himself when she looked at him like he had put the stars in the sky? Those beautiful eyes that shone so bright in the dim light of this bar. The questions she had about his pack made his heart flutter. His mind raced, his heart too. How was he supposed not to be weird or too forward? His mate became tipsy and bold. He loved that but didn't want her to do something she would regret later.

"You know it has been a long time since I drank something. I think I'll stop for now. I want to talk and not be drunk," her gentle voice said. He smiled down at her. "So responsible. I like that," he said, still flirting. She laughed and chuckled.

"Always...Though I wish I wasn't so responsible sometimes." She whispered. Desmond couldn't stop himself and took her hand. Her hand was so tiny in his, so cold too. "You...deserve someone to take care of you, darling." The Alpha said and looked down at her. By the moon, he craved her closeness. It felt so right to just hold her hand.

The blush that crept onto her cheeks was adorable. The smile on her lips even more so. "I...I think you deserve that too." Her eyes were filled with doubt. Something seemed to make her doubt this.

"I really adore you, Y/N. Do you know how long I've wanted to tell you that?" He said with a hoarse voice. She looked at him surprised; "You...you do? I thought you liked our barkeeper, Mandy?" Desmond shook his head. "I am there every evening for you. Although I struggled to ask you out." "Really?" She asked, and once again the Alpha nodded and pressed her hand. Her breathing quickened, and he saw her gaze drop to his lips. Desmond smiled even more. "How about we go out tomorrow? A proper date, where you are completely sober and not so exhausted." He proposed. She nodded and smiled at him, looking at their joined hands. "I am really tired..."

"Let's get you home then, I don't want to keep you from your sleep." Desmond said softly. They stood up and he rested his hand on her back, guiding her along with him out of the bar.

The cool night air kissed her skin. She seemed happy to be outside again. "The night smells so good," she said as the breeze brushed over them. Desmond agreed; the wind carried the smell of the forest and fields. The moon came out from behind the clouds, shining down on her. The blue hue made her look ethereal. His heart almost stopped...didn't she know how much she looked like a goddess?

"May I bring you home?" Desmond asked. She nodded and guided the way. They talked about small things: her dogs and the movie she had watched the other day. Though Desmond just stared at her, mesmerized.

Sadly, the walk ended after fifteen minutes. They stood in front of her house, and he felt like a teenager again.

"So...goodnight," she said and looked up at him. "Good night, little love," he said and brushed over her cheek. Before he could react, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiled at him, and left him standing in the moonlit street.

Taglist: @strawberrypoundtown @the-witches-creatures

[vivid-dreamscapes]

Period cuddles <3 ~Bakugou x Reader~

(I have hella bad cramps rn and I’m waiting for the meds to kick in, so I’m writing this as a distraction)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tw; Swearing, cause Bakugou. Minor suggestiveness.

Themes; Fluff

Summery; You manage to rope Katsuki into cuddles to soothe your cramps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pain. Pain. PAIN.

You were lying on your bed in your dorm, one arm draped across your eyes as you waited for the meds to kick in.

It felt like every knife within a 700 mile radius of your was violently jabbing at your inner thighs, abdomen, stomach, and of course, the ever so lovely low room that caused this all.

Cramps. PERIOD cramps. Your heating pad was being borrowed by your best friend Mina, so the painkillers were your only hope right now. And they were failing at being the thing you were here at UA to be,

After a moment, you heard a knock on your door. You looked up to see your ever so lovely boyfriend Katsuki leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, a plastic bag hanging from his finger.

“Oi, dumbass. You sick?” He said, raising an eyebrow at you, looking at your position. To him, it looked like you were just being lazy, but any other person out there with cramps would understand.

You groaned, clutching your stomach slightly as you looked at him. Lucky ass men. They didn’t have to deal with nothin like this. Cause they didn’t get burn with a uterus.

“I hate your dick.”

You grumbled, getting him to raise his eyebrow higher. Ironic, you had saying the exact opposite two nights ago.

“Remove the ‘H’ babe.” Katsuki said with a completely stoic face, walking over. You rolled your eyes. “Haha.” You said flatly, looking away. He sat down next to you, setting down the plastic bag. Your could see some instant ramen and a really good boba kit in the bag, causing your mouth to water.

“You on your period or somethin’?”

“Wowwww, he had a brain.”

Katsuki frowned and rolled his eyes at your sarcastic remark.

“Shut up, smartass. You don't have to be a jerk about it. But seriously, are you on your period or not? That why you're acting all moody and crap?"

“I’m on a high amount of pain killers, is what I’m on.” You responded simply. Wow. Your sarcastic self still managed to pull through at a time like this. Lucky him.

Katsuki's frown deepened as he heard your response. He knew pain killers could only help so much…

“That doesn't really answer my question, dammit." He reached out and gently pushed the hair back from your forehead, looking down at your face intently.

"How bad is the pain? On a scale of 1 to 10?"

“20697.”

Katsuki's eyes widened in surprise at your exaggerated response.

"Wow, really? Fuckin’ 20697? That high, huh?” He paused for a moment, his mind trying to process the pain level you mentioned. 20697? That seems impossible… “You're just shitting me, aren't you?"

“Try getting kicked in the balls for sixteen minutes straight with a metal leg. Thats about half of what I’m feeling.” You said with a small eye roll.

Katsuki winced at the thought, his hand instinctively moving down to protect his own family jewels. Which of course, almost made you laugh.

"Jesus, that sounds painful as hell. Why do girls have to deal with this shit every month?" He looked at you with sympathetic pity, unsure if there was anything he could do to help. "Is there anything I can do to help? Get you some chocolate or something?"

You paused silently before looking up at him with innocent eyes, ever so subtly poking out your bottom lip. Not in a lay someone would know you were pouting, and yet it had the same effect.

“Cuddles have been scientifically proven to help with period cramps.” You said, looking up at him.

Katsuki raised an eyebrow at your suggestion, his expression shifting from sympathy to a hint of amusement.

“Seriously? Cuddles? You're asking me to cuddle you to ease your period cramps?" He gave a small smirk, folding his arms across his chest. "And here I thought you were just being a drama queen, but you actually want me to cuddle you?"

“It works twice as well if your big spoon.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes at your insistence, but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit amused by your request.

"Of course you want me to be big spoon. Typical…" He sighed heavily, acting as if it was a big inconvenience, before reluctantly crawling into bed next to you. "Fine, you big baby. I'll cuddle you."

You immediately smiled as he got under the covers, and wrapped your arms around him. His own muscular arms found their way to your waist as you scooted closer, nestling your face square in his chest.

You could smell his natural scent as you closed your eyes with a smile. Carmel and Burnt pine. Strange but extremely comforting. Wow. You felt better already.

Katsuki wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his chest. He tried to maintain his usual tough and nonchalant demeanor, but couldn't help but soften a little as he held you in his arms.

“You're such a pain in the ass, you know that?" He grumbled, but his voice lacked any real venom. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, his touch uncharacteristically gentle.

“I can be a pain in your ass.” You said with the smallest of smirks, eyes remaining closed.

Katsuki let out a small scoff at hearing your suggestive remark, but a smirk tugged at the corner of his lip.

"You really have a talent for turning something romantic into something filthy, don’t you?" He tightened his arms around you, his hand moving down to rest on your lower back. “Love ya dumbass.”

“Love ya too boom boom bitch.”

“…what did you call me?”

[lost-in-fandoms]

okay but hear me out

Daniel and Hulk are friends and like to go to bars for trivia night and more or less just cause chaos and usually they go with Kevin and (a very long suffering) Sebastian, but this time Kevin is on a date night and Seb Has Had Enough so they have to find someone else. And Nico is like, hey I have this coworker he's fun and a bit of a nerd I bet he'll want to join! And Daniel is like yeah sure it's whatever, just make sure he brings a friend. And Hulk asks Max, who brings Alex.

While they are just drinking they all click so well, Max is a little shy at first and Daniel does his best to make him laugh and Alex is just hilarious and they are having so much fun! And then the trivia starts and Max and Alex suddenly transform. Alex is a menace, keeps trying to cheat and distract other tables while also having sudden bouts of genius for random answers, and Max is like hyper focused. He bats Nico's hands away every time he tries to get hold of the pen or the paper and rolls his eyes at Daniel several times because Daniel is giving dumb answers.

And Daniel is a bit annoyed because he's even worse than Seb, but at the same time they're winning? They never win and he loves winning, sue him. Daniel and Nico mostly just chill after a while, matching Alex's shenanigans and watching Max being a nerd, and it's still okay. (And maybe Max looks hot with his lips pursed like that and this cute little frown on his face and his intense eyes.)

And then it comes the last question, and Max doesn't know and Alex doesn't know either, and he keeps trying to spy the other tables but they all have clocked in on him by then. Daniel is not even paying attention, but he notices Max's displeased frown and is like come here tater tot (he's been calling him increasingly annoying nicknames for an hour just to entertain himself) lemme see. And Max lets him because it's not like Daniel can do any damage since they don't know the answer anyway.

But Daniel knows the answer. Because Daniel has super obscure random knowledge that just lives in his brain sometimes, and when he says the answer Max is like yeah sure mate whatever just write it down, because he thinks Daniel is just guessing. But Daniel isn't! And he's right and they win and Max gives him this wide eyed surprised look before smiling the biggest smile and then he says sorry for doubting you let me buy you your next drink. And Daniel peacocks for a bit because he likes being appreciated, and then they spend the next of the night almost ignoring Nico and Alex and talking and laughing and somehow having inside jokes already how is it possible you met three hours ago. Freaks.

And then Daniel takes Max home and they fuck nasty.

Have a good day.

[aziraphales-library]

hi, i wonder if you have recs for fanfics written after the release of season 2 which are set in the time between s1 and s2? thank youu

Hello. Here are some fics set between series one and series two...

To the World by mehrto, SkysongMA (G)

"Really, Crowley, it's bad enough having everything replaced without you moving things. Don't tell me you're still tired after that nap you took." "After the events of the last eleven years, I believe I will be tired for the rest of the century." Crowley's voice turned uninterested, but he shifted his weight in the chair in a way that had nothing to do with the angle of the sun and everything to do with the topic. Aziraphale studied him. Crowley was still relaxed, ready, as ever, to slip into a nap wherever he was, but something was off, exactly like the arrangement of the bookstore. It was no fun to complain if Crowley wasn't immediately rushing to fix everything, even as he pretended he wasn't. Aziraphale drummed his fingers on the box, then clucked. "Well, if you're still tired, let me freshen up the spare bedroom. I ought to see if anything's changed there anyway."

Conversation on a park bench by CatelynStark956 (G)

Aziraphale is sitting in the park, reading and watching all the humans that pass by. Crowley suddenly joins him, furthering his musings on this and that until they’re interrupted by a gentleman who seems to have got the wrong impression

i come home, she lifted up her wings by junoshusband (G)

Oh, he could remember. Before everything, when angels groomed each other's wings in Heaven. Even after Heaven and Hell split into different factions and started their bickering, some of them would bask in the Earth's young sun as it fell between Eden’s verdant leaves and preen. But Gabriel usually chased them off, telling them they had work to do and that they didn't have eternity anymore. Whilst writing his account of the Apocalypse That Wasn't, Aziraphale broke his quill and then broke down. Crowley offers a feather and some comfort. Or, the story of how Aziraphale got the black feather seen in the Good Omens: Lockdown video.

Under the Stars by rockinellie (G)

Crowley sets up a stargazing picnic for Aziraphale, and they spend an evening enjoying one another’s company.

sense my heartbeat chase your constellations; burn but never fade away by Shaleschnueffler (T)

“Why don’t you drive us somewhere?” Crowley could not help his lips from parting and his brows from rising in heartfelt bafflement. Aziraphale- actively asking to endure Crowley’s driving that he despised so fervently? Intrigued, he jolted into motion, turning his entire body to face Aziraphale fully now. “...really? Like where?" Only upon saying these words out loud did Crowley realise that he’d already swung his legs around and placed his feet on the ground. Following this, there really was no use in letting Aziraphale answer his question. Crowley was going to go along with it, with anything, either way at this point. Less than a minute later, they were speeding past dangerously yellow lights with an unreasonably high number on the clock. or: Having successfully averted the end of the world, one night, Crowley proposes they do something nice. Aziraphale has a suggestion. Crowley rolls with it. They talk, and drive, and sip wine under the star-covered night sky, getting lost in their own world.

In The Next Room by maidenimage (M)

Crowley doesn’t know it yet, but this is going to be the first, last, and only night he spends in the bookshop.

In which Crowley and Aziraphale get drunk, play poker, and then everything changes. Or: Why TF is Aziraphale giving Gabriel his spare room while he let Crowley live in his car for years? Oh, this is why.

Set in canon between season 1 and season 2. Title lifted from a Neon Trees song of the same title.

- Mod D