#meg answers mail

[5chatzi]

Would absolutely love to hear some of your thoughts and decisions when writing Lost Dreams, particularly the bit where they write down the baby names and let the dream go but I’d love to hear literally anything about that one if you could. It is my absolute favorite fic of yours🩷

Ah thanks so much for asking me :)

So @pinkboxess and I were talking about Rebecca having her period and that was the jumping off point for the story. Originally, I intended for it just to be a fluffy story with Ted comforting Rebecca and taking care of her. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I am pretty incapable of writing pure fluff haha. I’m an angst girl through and through.

As I was writing it, I started thinking about Rebecca and her relationship to fertility and her longing to be a mother. I never usually mention a specific timeline in my fics since I frequently struggle to think of how their relationship fits into the show given they were not officially a couple, but I do imagine this one taking place some time after season 3. So at that point, Rebecca would have seen the fertility specialist and known her chances were slim to none. But, I just thought that when she got together with Ted, there would still be a part of her that wished she could have a child. I don’t think she realistically thought it would happen, but I think she would have just struggled to let it go. And then I just started thinking about how for someone that is desperate for a child, a period would symbolize failure. That until you get your period, there is the hope that maybe you are pregnant, but when you get your period there goes your hope and you have to try again the next month. So I think although Rebecca didn’t really think she would get pregnant, there would still be that let down every month.

Once I kind of decided on that direction, I then tried to think about how Ted would help her. I think it would hurt him to see her hurting every month. Then, I came up with the idea of him suggesting the little candle ceremony. Real talk I was influenced by an episode of Bones where Booth and Bones write a date for them getting together on a piece of paper and light it on fire over a candle. That scene popped into my head and idk I just thought it would kind of be perfect.

Thennnn of course we come to the smutty part. I have fun writing it so I’m always looking for opportunities to include it in a fic. I just had this vision of Ted being so soft and gentle with her and focusing solely on bringing her pleasure and showing her how much he loves her. Plus it would help her get out of her head a little bit. I just tried to making it as loving and caring of a moment as I possibly could between them as well as being a hot read.

I hope this gives a little insight to how I approached that fic. I’m so glad you love it, I think it’s one of the ones I most proud of for the emotions I covered in it.

[feyhunter78]

(Bc of the line in ch 21:

"You both walk back to Miguel’s car, hands brushing against each other, pinkies almost linking then shying away at the last second."

Which had me squealing, BTW, I had this thought:)

Miguel and Y/N during chap 21: I'm shy... I'm so shy-!

Miguel and Y/N in chaps 10/14/20: I'm not shy, I'll say it. I've been picturing you naked-!

(Also, "Slumber Party" by Ashnikko? Such a bop-! As is "L8r Boi" - I highly recommend-!)

Idk, the sound popped into my head and I just had to share it.

-Red.

I THOUGHT THAT LINE WAS SO CUTEEE THANK YOUUUU

It really is a flip from how they’ve been acting😂

[hoe4hotchner]

Hey, just saw your post about you accident, I hope you get better soon! That must've been so scary but you're safe now ❤️❤️

Thank you 💕💕💕

The lady that hit me wasn't going that fast, but still fast enough for me to be slammed into the ground. It wasn't as much scary as I am in disbelief of the situation.

It feels kind of surrealistic cause I remember the whole time frame from before it happened till I walked out of the hospital very clearly - I honestly should've been more hurt than I actually am based on how I landed and what parts of my body hit the ground.

[rowdyluv]

cay is active tonight?

cay needs to go to sleep because she works at 7am but here i am 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[starlightphil]

🌺Even when it feels like you’re stuck in place, know that every moment you hold on should be celebrated. You’re not defined by the tough times; you’re defined by the courage you show in facing them. Keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time. Dealing with emotional ups and downs requires patience and self-compassion. Understand that progress can be gradual and non-linear. Embrace the journey with kindness toward yourself, and remember that each step you take, no matter how small, contributes to a greater sense of stability and peace🌺

You’re the sweetest, positivity anon! 💞

[mileygoneblogger]

ghosts don't knock ✉️

A/N: hey everybody <3 i know i've been kinda slow with putting out new things for domestic disturbances, and i just wanna say: thank you so much to everybody who's been supporting me and my silly lil writing hobby and i promise i haven't forgotten about you guys. so, here's a gift! a lil angsty snack from me to you while you all wait for the next chapter ^_^ (it's wartime flavoured)

p.s: this is lowkey the beginning of me experimenting with the idea of 20th century WW1 jack (and maybe meg... heheheh) rather than modern au. let me know if you guys would be interested in seeing more of this <3

warnings: mild language use, alcoholism, grief, emotional trauma, hallucinations, canon-compliant angst + my own headcanons, RDR1 SPOILERS MENTIONED AHEAD. TREAD CAREFULLY.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

beecher’s hope, 1917.

the morning is quiet. not peaceful—just the kind of quiet that settles over a place that hasn’t seen joy in a long time. the wind moves through dry grass like a ghost. a storm’s gathering somewhere, but it hasn’t broken yet. just hangs there, heavy in the sky, waiting to break.

jack’s out by the chopping block, sleeves rolled up, sweat clinging to the back of his neck despite the chill. the wood splits clean under the weight of the axe, over and over. he likes the rhythm of it. the simplicity. it’s one of the only things left that makes sense.

crack.

crack.

in the distance, wheels crunch gravel. he doesn’t look up.

crack.

"jack marston?"

his name lands like a stone in his gut.

he wipes a hand over his face, turns toward the mail wagon. the young courier doesn’t meet his eye as he hands over the envelope—plain, cream-colored, with a thick red seal and his full name typed neat across the front.

mr. john 'jack' marston. beecher’s hope, blackwater.

he stares at it for a long time.

something about seeing the name he inherited in ink makes his stomach churn.

the woodsmoke from the chimney makes his eyes sting, but he doesn’t blink. doesn’t speak.

the wagon rattles off towards the main road.

he opens the envelope with a slow tear, like he’s hoping the world might stop before he finishes. it doesn’t.

the letter reads:

"greetings: you have been selected for induction into the armed forces of the united states…"

his breath leaves him in one sharp exhale, like he’s just taken a hit to the ribs.

he doesn’t finish reading.

he doesn’t need to.

-----------------------------------------------

inside the house, the floorboards groan under his boots. everything’s too still. the table hasn’t moved since his mother last set it for dinner. the fireplace is cold. his father’s rifle still hangs on the wall above it, dusty, untouched. like some kind of shrine.

jack drops the letter on the table without looking at it. his hands hang at his sides. limp. lost.

he stands there for a long time.

then, like something in him finally breaks, he kicks the nearest chair—hard. it crashes to the floor. a plate tips off the counter and shatters. their family portrait swings softly on the wall. he doesn’t flinch. doesn't dare make eye contact with their photo.

he grips the edge of the table with both hands, shoulders shaking.

"guess i really ain’t meant to have nothin', huh?" he mutters, half-laughing. the sound is cracked down the middle. bitter.

his voice echoes in the emptiness.

the ghosts of this place don’t answer.

-----------------------------------------------

armadillo. upstairs in the saloon, later that evening.

the bottle’s half-empty. or half-full, depending on how bitter you feel that night.

jack doesn’t even bother with a glass anymore. the whiskey burns the whole way down, but he likes it that way. it means he can still feel something. that he's still real.

he sits slouched on the edge of the bed, the same one his father used to sleep in whenever he wasn't home. same dusty room above the saloon, same oil lamp flickering against cracked wallpaper. the window’s open just enough to let in the desert wind and the sound of some poor, drunken bastard getting thrown out onto the street below.

jack barely notices.

the draft letter lies crumpled on the nightstand, stained with spilled liquor and maybe something else.

"you'd be real proud, pa," jack mutters, voice thick, wet with drink and something darker. his smile curls up the wrong way. it doesn't reach his eyes. "yeah. look at me now. all grown up."

he raises the bottle in a mock toast, letting the whiskey slosh. "bein' forced to go god knows where to die for the damn military of all things. 'serve my country,' my ass. country didn’t do shit when you got gunned down like a dog. didn’t do shit when ma was coughin' her lungs out, slowly witherin' away like she was nothin', all while i'm holdin' her hand the whole damn time."

he laughs, but there’s no humor in it. just emptiness, scraped raw.

"and what, now they want me to play the good little soldier for 'em?" he spits the words out as if they tasted like rot on his tongue. "to carry a gun and march off to die for a place that’s done nothin’ but take from me? fuck that."

" 'you’re a man now, jack,' " he mutters, mocking. " 'take care of the ranch, jack. be strong.' "

he takes another drink. the bottle’s already lighter in his hand.

"i did all that. i did everything i was s’posed to. and for what? no one left to see it. no one left to care."

his voice trails off.

silence, except for the storm beginning to build outside.

and then–

"that how you see it?"

the voice comes soft. gravelly. familiar.

jack’s eyes snap to the corner of the room.

and there he is.

john marston.

leaning against the wall, arms crossed, hat low over his brow. dressed in the clothes he was buried in—just like jack remembers. just like the last time.

jack blinks. shakes his head once, hard. but the figure stays.

"i ain’t drunk enough for this," jack whispers.

john tilts his head. "ain’t about the drink, boy. never was."

jack scoffs and rubs at his eyes. "you’re not real."

"maybe not. but i’m here, ain’t i?"

a long silence stretches between them.

jack downs another mouthful of cheap, rotgut whiskey, hoping that maybe the figure would dissolve in the amber. he doesn’t dare meet his father’s eyes.

"why didn’t you tell me it’d be like this?" he mumbles. "you made it look so easy. like it meant somethin'. like dyin' for somethin' made it all worth it."

john’s voice softens. "it wasn’t easy, jack. and it sure as hell wasn’t worth it."

jack looks up. and for a second—just a second—he’s a boy again. lost, scared, aching for a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"i don’t wanna go," he says, voice barely there. "i don’t wanna be like you."

john walks over. sits on the edge of the bed beside him. his presence doesn’t creak or dip the mattress. he doesn’t smell like sweat or whiskey or blood—just dust. just memory.

"then don’t be," john says gently. "you got the chance to be more than i ever was. you still got time. use it wisely, son."

jack laughs again. bitter, hoarse.

"what time?"

john doesn’t answer. he just looks at him—really looks at him—and says:

"you’re allowed to want more than survival, jack."

a beat.

and then—quiet, almost tender:

"and you know you’d make your mother real proud."

jack shuts his eyes.

when he opens them again, he’s alone.

the bottle is empty.

and it's still raining.

[marigold-hills]

Precious Things (Part 1)

a Remus Lupin Yuletide Miracle

Day One: Party | @wolfstarmicrofic

575 words

PART 2

*🎄🎄🎄*

“It’s a fad,” Remus tells his frantic boss, raising his voice over the screeching of owls. Even here, in the management room deep in the bowels of the post office, they can be clearly heard. Some nights, Remus hears them in his sleep.

“It’s not a fad!” Aberforth responds, hand banging on the wooden desk. “It's a dismantling of our way of living, our traditions, not to mention a threat to yours and mine livelihood.”

Remus looks to the ceiling for patience. It’s a sort of off-grey, off-beige colour that happens in rooms where smoking used to be allowed. “It’s an enchanted quill,” he says to one of the more interesting stains.

“Precisely!” Aberforth grows, somehow, impossibly, even more agitated. “It’s so simple we didn’t see it coming and yet here it is, and in just a month we’re already down by almost half the letters. And it’s December!”

That much, Remus has to admit, is true. In the ten years he’d spent working at the post office, he’s never seen it so quiet. The approach to Yule has always been their busiest time - holiday cards and party invites and people suddenly remembering to write to their estranged relatives - but this year?

Remus is doing a lot of standing around, this year. There are no letters getting lost for him to find if there aren’t that many letters in the first place.

“You’ll do it, then?” Aberforth pushes.

“Let me reiterate,” Remus answers slowly, like it could bring some sanity back into the conversation. “You want me to purchase one of those instant quills-“

“They’re called iQuill,” Aberforth interrupts.

“Ridiculous name. Very well. You want me to purchase an iQuill and what… use it?”

“Precisely,” Aberforth flashes what Remus has learnt is meant to be a persuasive smile. It looks vaguely threatening. “Figure out what makes them so popular. How we could implement it to bring people back to sending proper letters.”

“Aberforth,” Remus pushes the pads of his palms over his eyes until he sees twinkly lines in the blackness. A little festive touch in a run-up to a migraine. “I suspect that the answer is in the name. They’re instant. And unless you’re going to teach owls to Apparate, I don’t think you’ll be able to compete.”

Aberforth huffs out something under his breath - sounds like words which shouldn’t be uttered in polite company - and leaves the management room the same way he entered it: no hello, no goodbye. No pleasantries at all.

Remus is used to it. Aberforth has been his boss for a long, long time. With his strange quirks and even stranger brother and a penchant for having a couple pints at lunchtime, there isn’t much he can do that’s surprising.

It’s the two of them at the Wizarding Mail London Headquarters, no 37 Diagon Alley: the two of them, a stray ginger cat Remus feeds cans of tuna, and an ever changing rotation of part-timers: kids right out of Hogwarts who didn’t quite meet the requirements for what they wanted to do and are bumming off time while waiting to retake their NEWTS. From November they would usually have two, but this year there was no need so they stuck to the one they already had, a stocky boy whose name Remus didn’t bother learning.

They come and go all the time, is the thing. And Remus stays.

He hadn’t bothered to learn their names for a few years.

*🎄🎄🎄*

PART 2

Notes:

hi! Hello! After the false start I’m having a bit of a blast writing something Christmassy because well it’s the season and I might not have snow here but I can make up for it by writing about our favourite idiots. this whole work is dedicated to @magicbeings because it only exists thanks to that weird Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie fics brainstorm day we had ❤️

I’m only going to tag in this first part because I’m posting a bunch at once and don’t want to spam!

if you’d like to be tagged in future updates let me know ❤️

@tealeavesandtrash

@hoje--aqui

@cocoabutterandbooks

@onion-sliced-apples

@prancingpony42

@digital-kam

@remoonysiriusly

@sweetstarryskies

@a-sunset-outside-my-window

@procrastinatingstuff

@annaliza999

@wannabelilybriscoe

@quiethauntings

@veganbutterchicken

[amethystsoda]

“I’ve always felt that the definition of a real relationship between two people is when they look at each other and you know they’re thinking ‘I want to take care of you for the rest of your life and I want you to be the person to take care of me for the rest of mine’… The answer to everybody’s question, is love.”

Source: You’ve Got Mail dvd bonus feature “You’ve Got Chemistry”, analyzing old film couples from Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, up through Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan

[purplesimmer455]

Still in the alternate universe:

Megan moon-eyes Iseul* again, this time as she washes her coffee mug. Iseul laughs as she senses Megan behind her, and says. "Liao, really?" And Megan grins sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Kang, you just look so cute doing anything that I go into moon eyeing you mode." Megan says. "I don't mind, Megs, I'm always moon eyeing you too." Iseul says.

Iseul checks the mail while Megan gets a slice of leftover cake from the fridge. Iseul smiles as she sees a package from her niece Cam, saying happy birthday and that she hopes Iseul will like the gift. It's a future cube and Iseul heads inside and sits with Megan, who watches as Iseul asks a random question and shakes the cube. It gives her a mischievous answer, and Iseul raises her brows before Megan ribs her lightly. "Hey, the cube is all knowing." Iseul jokes. "Sure, Issy." Megan says. A while later, Iseul sits with Megan as she reads a handiness book while Megan knits. Iseul feels a bit restless so she puts on an energetic songs Playlist and dances while Megan half cheers her on and half focuses on her knitting.

[britishchick09]

poto rewritten short stories 2/6: erik's very happy birthday

in honor of read an e-book week, i'll be sharing sneak peeks of the rewrite's first short story collection (which will be an e-book exclusive out this spring)! next up is eristine being quite suspicious... ;)

...

 Erik sighed as he paced near his piano the next morning. The clock on the wall ticked to nine-fifteen.

"Lessons should be well underway by now," he noted. "Where do you think Christine is?"

Ayesha meowed and pawed at the door.

"Alright, I'll let you out," Erik said with a chuckle as he opened the door. "Be sure to look for Christine!" He sighed as Ayesha trotted down the pathway to the dreamery. "…Or not."

Just as Erik was about to close the door, he heard someone run across the wooden platform outside his house.

"Christine!" Erik exclaimed. "You're late!"

"I know. I'm terribly sorry," Christine apologized. "I was-" She pursed her lips. "I overslept."

Doesn't seem likely if that face is any indication. Erik thought as she stepped inside the house.

Christine acted odd throughout lessons. Her eyes wandered to the floor, she missed her cue to start singing and her voice often trailed off during long notes. Erik inquired about it a few times, but she just gave vague answers.

After lessons, Christine didn't show up at ballet practice. She usually sang for the second half of rehearsals, giving Madame Giry a break from playing the viola. Even stranger than Christine's disappearance was Meg being gone too!

They're definitely up to something, Erik thought. And I'm going to find out what.

...

 It was mid-evening when Erik returned home. He had been observing Faust rehearsals…

And now he would be observing Christine. Spying on people as The Opera Ghost was perfectly fine, but spying on Christine as himself? That was unheard of!

It's an invasion of privacy, but I need to know why they're acting so strange! Erik thought.

He took a deep breath, hoped that Christine would be in her dressing room and switched on the mirror. He pressed the silver and white buttons on the control box so he could watch and hear without being seen or heard. Lo and behold, there Christine was with Meg! She was wrapping something… but what?

"What do you think his address is?" Meg asked. "Palais Garnier Water Cellar?"

"We're not mailing this, remember?" Christine reminded her.

"Oh, right!" Meg remembered before giggling.

They must have gotten Sarah Bernhardt's book! Erik thought, his heart lifting. They're acting strange because of my birthday!

"Azizam?"

Erik gasped and switched the mirror off. Nadir was standing in the doorway!

[5chatzi]

Sending hugs (if that’s okay) and to remind you that you are a wonderful person even if brains can trip us up 💜

Ok thank you this is so sweet 🥺 I’ve been on the struggle bus lately so this was unexpected and lifted my spirits 💜

[adultswim2021]

The Drinky Crow Show #11: “Peace” | January 26, 2009 - 12:15AM | S01E10

War is over! Drinky and Gabby can return home and finally become Family Guys. Drinky goes back to his Lois and finds that she’s laid a bunch of Megs (eggs); dashing his plans for a better life of not having children. Gabby finds a Lois on the street that willingly re-enacts that famous photo of Lisa Simpson being kissed from the end of Bart the General. She’s a disreputable woman who slips something in Gabby’s drink, causing him to hallucinate French soldiers overrunning the streets. He goes on a killing spree, killing many of his fellow vets. He also fires a cannonball into the air, which we see flying through the background of many scenes. 

Drinky is very depressed being forced to do expecting dad shit. Gabby winds up on the more-exciting track as a career criminal. He winds up trying to please a pair of jet-setting tomb-raiders who crave a hitman who can deliver a poetic revenge kill. Gabby’s methods are too low-brow for them, causing him to enlist Drinky’s help, who helps him step up his creativity. They wind up capturing the tomb raiding couple’s adversaries and connecting them to a complicated murder machine which involves urethra pinching.

Gabby has a funny plan that backfires; he poisons his targets and then injects their fingers with the antidote, thinking that they will have to eat their own fingers to get the antidote. They are quick to point out that eating the fingers won’t be necessary, since the antidote is still inside them, and working its way into their bloodstream as they speak.

Since Drinky helps Gabby, it’s only fair Gabby return the favor. Gabby helps Drinky get drunk at the baby shower, which causes him to cook his then-unhatched babies into an omelet. As trouble mounts for the duo, the previously-seen cannonball disrupts the signing of the official peace treaty. War’s back on, so luckily our plucky duo now have an excuse to flee back into combat. The final scene shows Drinky, Gabby, and a French combatant all uniting to flee their respective wives, who interrupt the war to chase them on a speedboat, each sitting atop a pile of freshly-laid eggs.

This one has at least one reference to a previous episode; when Gabby goes to jail he’s seen sitting next to the ogre whose part of a trio of conjoined triplets. That’s from the episode Organs. There might have been other references to previous episodes, but I’m too stupid to have picked them out. 

That’s The Drinky Crow Show. I had seen only a handful of episodes before this project, and I think I have a newfound appreciation for it. The pilot episode still grates on me; the animation is too awful. The animation was markedly better in the series, thank god. I grew to appreciate Gabby’s voice, even though I initially criticized it for being too cartoony. I wish they got to do a second season. I wonder if Dino ever tried to pitch Millionaire and co. on trying to do this show as a stop-motion show? Sorry, that’s just a stray thought that just occurred to me while I was cleaning my suicide gun just now. I wish I could expand on it, but duty calls. Bye bye and RIP to me

MAIL BAG

I guess I won't be killing myself today. I have mail to answer. From KON!

Please hate Robot Chicken more, I implore you! It sucks so much!!!

That episode mostly bored me, and the only joke I outright hated was "rape shoes", and I didn't want to sound woke by complaining about it lol :( I basically just didn't write about "rape shoes" can you blame me???

review all the mst3k episodes

Too hard!!

[j2zara]

J2’s favorite Meg Ryan / Nora Ephron collab is Sleepless in Seattle

J3’s favorite Meg Ryan / Nora Ephron collab is When Harry Met Sally

J4’s favorite Meg Ryan / Nora Ephron collab is… well she will say she doesn’t like rom coms but the real answer is You’ve Got Mail

[rowdyluv]

i'm about to fix the drama on my gabby au between gabby and ry if you wanna come hang out on my blog!!!!

EEK WHY DID I GO TO SLEEP 😭

[banjozsef]

...

Én meg tudod, hogy nem bízok senkiben, legkevésbé magamban. Ezt is félreértették. Van egy ilyen mondás, hogy : Ismerd meg magad! , ami persze hogy annak készült, hogy : Ismerd meg Istent! Azért köszi, hogy küldted a "Tibeti személyiségteszt" -et ( A tibeti halottaskönyvet és persze még sok más tibeti ügyet olvastam, ismerek, a Dalai lámáról nem is beszélve ), amit meg is néztem, bele is néztem, de nekem elsőre túl bonyolultnak tünt, meg persze hogy időm sincs rá. Azért arra is jó volt, hogy ez a kis válasz belekerül a BjPress -be. További szép napot! ... You know I don't trust anyone, least of all myself. This too was misunderstood. There is a saying: Know yourself! , which, of course, was made to: Get to know God! Thank you for sending the "Tibetan personality test" (I have read the Tibetan Book of the Dead and of course many other Tibetan matters, I know them, not to mention the Dalai Lama), which I looked at and looked into, but it seemed too complicated to me at first , and of course I don't have tim amie for it. It was also good that this little answer was included in BjPress. Have a nice day!

...

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10 Favorite Family Guy Episodes

Again, like the South Park list, it’s not in any particular order. Also, it is kinda hard to pick 10, since there are over 400 episodes as of making this list! The newer seasons have a bunch of stinkers, so it’s a little easier this time around, but not by that much.

1. Road To The Multiverse - Most “Road To” episodes are pretty good, but this one really blows the others away. We’re taken on a trip through many of the infinite universes, including a Robot Chicken universe, and even a Disney universe. And who can forget “It’s A Wonderful Day For Pie?”

2. Da Boom - Who remembers the Y2K panic? The Griffins were apparently the only ones that were prepared for the nuclear apocalypse. But Peter establishes his own community and it goes surprisingly well until Stewie’s mutant octopus babies destroy the town. This also marks the debut of the longest running gag in the show: Peter and Ernie’s Chicken Fights. Seth MacFarlane even said his favorite moment was from this episode, when Peter feeds his TV beans when he sees Tom Selleck!

3. Yug Ylimaf - When Brian meddles with Stewie’s time machine to get laid, he accidentally causes time to reverse! We see Family Guy’s most infamous moments played out in reverse, such as Peter falling down the stairs, one of Cleveland’s “No no no!” moments, and the infamous ipecac puking contest! Needless to say, this was something Stewie’s and Brian did not want to go through again, but in reverse it’d be much more gross!

4. Family Guy Viewer Mail - I love a good ol’ What If/anthology episode! From the start of the show, Family Guy was given suggestions from the fans on episode ideas, and there were two episodes in the series that have answered some suggestions. They show Peter and the guys as the Little Rascals, the Griffins having superpowers, Peter having no bones, everything Peter touches turning into Robin Williams, British Family Guy, and everything being shown from Stewie’s point of view. These make for some hilarious moments in the show.

5. Hell Comes To Quahog - This episode has a similar concept to South Park’s “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes.” A mega-store similar to Walmart and K-Mart, Superstore USA, opens in Quahog and takes away everyone’s jobs. Peter and Chris both lose their jobs due to Superstore USA having a brewery and paper route respectively. Also, the Superstore takes away everyone’s electricity to meet its power demands. Needless to say, as soon as the Superstore was destroyed, everything was back to normal. Also, who can forget “‘Meg!’ ‘*pbft*’”?

6. Pet****d - I’m not even gonna say the title. Peter is a moron. I think that’s already been established since the beginning of the show. But he wins a game of Trivial Pursuit thanks to Lois giving him the preschool questions. Of course, that makes him believe he is actually a genius. When Brian has Peter take an IQ test for the MacArthur Fellows Grant, the latter is shocked when the test results reveal that not only is he not a genius, but he is mentally challenged. Yeah, this episode aired in 2005, so some much more outdated language was used. Of course Peter uses this as an excuse to do what he wants, thinking he could get away with it, but this costs him his children after he accidentally spills hot grease on Lois. My favorite part is when Brian profanely tells Peter “I told you so” about not being a genius, but, YEAH!! IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!

7. E. Peterbus Unum - Can’t Touch Me! Instant classic. In this episode, after not being able to get a pool, Peter finds his property isn’t part of the US. Naturally, this prompts Peter to declare his house its own country named Petoria. And in classic Family Guy fashion, this goes about as well as one would expect. After being under siege from the US Army, Peter “invades” the US by breaking into his next door neighbor Joe’s yard, earning him the respect from the rest of the United Nations.

8. Back To The Pilot - Family Guy has been on the air since 1999, save for two cancellations, with the last of which lasting for 2 and a half years! Needless to say, the show has visually come a long way the past 24 years! In season 10, Brian and Stewie travel back in time to January 31, 1999, when the pilot episode “Death Has A Shadow” first aired. The world’s visuals were primitive, Meg was voiced by Lacey Chabert, Peter and the guys were watching a television set that’s not even plugged in, Stewie’s got a more diabolical genius vocabulary, Peter’s eye goes over his nose due to an animation error, everyone just sits there doing nothing during a cutaway, and the aspect ratio is in 4:3. Brian informs his past self about the biggest tragedy in America, which hails him as a hero, but causes Civil War II, and eventually a post-apocalyptic CGI future with Joe being a Terminator. Of course, Stewie and Brian have to go back and fix everything by showing up right before their counterparts do, erasing their timeline in the process.

9. Death Is A Bitch - Death pays Peter a visit. No, he literally pays him a visit! After Death sprains his ankle, the Griffins have to nurse him back to health. Of course, with Death incapacitated, no one can die, and Peter, being the idiot he is, drunkenly blabs it to everyone. Death then forced Peter to do his job for him, since the natural order of things has been disrupted with no one being able to die. Also, Stewie just can’t wait till Death gets better, as his attempt on Lois’s life has failed due to Death not lurking in the shadows. This marks the first appearance of Death as a recurring character, and the only time he was voiced by the late Norm Macdonald, whom I liked better than Adam Corolla voicing him in subsequent appearances.

10. I Dream Of Jesus - A WELL A BIRD BIRD BIRD, THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Ok, got that out of my system. Peter’s favorite song, “Surfin’ Bird,” annoys the hell out of everyone, prompting Stewie and Brian to steal it and destroy in a shot by shot remake of the printer scene from Office Space. This causes Peter to find Jesus. Literally find Jesus working at a record store when looking for copies of “Surfin’ Bird” to replace the one that was stolen. Of course, Peter reveals Jesus to the world, causing Jesus to reach celebrity status overnight. Of course the Hollywood fame gets to Jesus’ head, as he acts like a diva towards Peter. To say that many Christians did not take too kindly to this portrayal of the Messiah would be an understatement, but at least it wasn’t as bad as the way he’s depicted in a much later episode…