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#merlin: sure i guess
vinnfeyntheinsane · 13 days
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eddiediaaz · 2 years
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MERLIN WEEK 2022 | day 2: favourite story arc ↳ merlin finding his dragonlord voice
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lit-in-thy-heart · 11 months
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fighting fate with our fists
Rating: Gen
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Other
Relationships: Gwaine/Mithian        
Characters: Gwaine, Mithian
Additional Tags: Long-Distance Relationship, Established Relationship, Kissing, Making Out, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Gwaine, Injury, Gift Giving, they/them mithian, because fight me, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Sort Of, yes i am back after nine months, and this is apparently the baby that has arrived, Not Beta Read, not even edited lbr, but that's never bothered me before with fics so, here marks the beginning of my gwaine/mithian conquest, prose heavy, Very little dialogue, You Have Been Warned            
Words: 4,121
Chapters: 1/1
Summary: Gwaine and Mithian have a rendezvous on the shores of Gedref.
Opening:
Mithian was already shielding their body against the wind with their arms when Gwaine reached the cliffs. Like ribbons on a wishing tree, their hair fluttered violently behind them and their fingers ran up and down their upper arms, clothed only in a translucent shirt. Despite his own fingers already reaching out in anticipation of greeting Mithian’s skin, Gwaine remained still, drinking in their form for a little longer.
It had been too long since they had last seen each other, too long since he had heard their husky tones falling into the pillow, too long since their fingertips had fumbled beneath his layers of heavy armour and dusted his muscles with a cool touch. Gwaine had started to forget the way that the tendons in Mithian’s neck breathed when they lifted their chin – like they were doing now, absorbing the dappled sunlight – and had been struggling to hold on to the memory of his hands on their waist, thumbs stretching down to settle on their hips.
Read on ao3
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wingletblackbird · 1 year
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You know, in To Kill a King, the question Merlin asks of Gwen is really lacking in context. It’s understandable, as Merlin can’t exactly tell her everything, but it also means that Merlin is, (once again), acting on poor information. Whether or not his decision is right or wrong can be debated. It’s a tough choice. However, I think the show waters down the murkiness of it all, and presents Merlin’s choice as morally superior without even giving us a truly good reason for this.
The crux of the argument comes down to Gwen’s answer when she is basically being asked by Merlin: Would you take revenge and kill Uther if you could? She is horrified at the idea of killing someone, anyone, for such a purpose. She thinks it’s wrong. It’s the classic “it makes us no better” and fair enough. Unfortunately, vengeance is barely what this is about so the answer is somewhat lacking for this scenario.
There is another angle at play here: Uther is a threat to a great many more innocents. His laws guarantee the death of innocents. There is no way to prevent all of these deaths. Granted, killing Uther will not change these laws. However, Arthur is at least more lenient and reasonable than his father. There will be fewer unjust deaths under his rule. At the bare minimum, children, like Mordred, aren’t likely to be killed under his rule.
So, Gwen, is it okay to kill the man who killed your father to stop him from killing more children? More innocents in general (like your father)? Especially when said man is above the law and cannot reasonably, (short of a coup), be stopped in any other way? Will you kill a child-murderer, who gets off Scot-free otherwise, to prevent him ordering the murder of more children?
And this is a significant part of where Morgana is coming from. She’s fought with Uther tooth and nail over his cruelty and injustice. Morgana, at this point, knows Arthur is a better man than his father. She’s outright said so. It’s a part of her decision-making process even! Arthur has spoken out against punishments that don’t fit the crime, like when Gwen was falsely accused. He helped with Mordred. He let Morgana out of the dungeons. He risked his life for Merlin, (and proved willing to accept Morgana’s influence in doing so). Morgana can see that things will be better under his reign, so killing Uther can be justified.
Plus, there is also the element of self-preservation. Why does Morgana change her mind in the end? In her own words: “I thought he cared for me.” Morgana, at this point, suspects she has magic. She is scared of Uther knowing this. Choking her and being sent to the dungeons confirmed that he would not spare her. If he can kill even his almost daughter over a disagreement, he really knows no limit. Now it is her life on the line too. She’s not safe. Is it not just to kill in self-defence?
So Morgana’s logic is not just revenge. She is choosing to kill Uther because she knows it will protect children like Mordred, avenges Gwen’s father, Morgana’s father, and countless others. And it ultimately keeps her safe. Arthur, after all, won’t likely execute her like Uther will. Innocents will be safer under his rule. Knowing Morgana is not even safe, cannot even influence Uther anymore, is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Morgana changes her mind when she is given reason to. She understandably wrestles with the decision to kill, (let alone someone who helped raise her), and Uther at the gravesite gives her the indication that she is a) safe from him, and b) able to influence him, given his apparent regret of Tom’s death; (hence possibly allowing her to also protect people without killing him. In the Middle Ages, it was even the woman’s expected role to counsel the king to mercy.) Morgana is rather let down by these hopes in the end, and by S2 regrets her hesitation in killing Uther.
But, yeah, sure, we’ll boil all that complexity down to “killing him makes me as bad as the evil people.” 🤦‍♀️
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theflyingfeeling · 2 years
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me: I want to write my WIPs and fic ideas: *exist* me: no not that one
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lonesomedotmp3 · 2 years
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i love how little character depth/proper screentime sir leon gets almost entirely because he just knows when to mind his fucking business. king.
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theladyfae · 1 year
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arthur's inconsistent characterisation in s4/5 isn't cause the writers didn't understand him its actually just the result of multiple years of head trauma catching up to him at once
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tom-at-the-farm · 2 years
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Okay regarding Merlin I know no one was ever expecting nuance from BBC Merlin but how do you like the fact that they wrote themselves into a corner where Morgana would sort of have a point so had to make her unreasonably evil so Merlin could carry on being a cuck, and how much worse does Merlin being a cuck get once Arthur actually has the power but homosexuality I mean magic is still punishable by death
Clara this show made me so insane, you don't even know! The reason I started it in the first place was that I needed some light-hearted fantasy to distract me from the horrors of being alive in the year 2022 or whatever. And I get it, shows can change tonally, I mean one moment in Breaking Bad we're throwing pizzas on roofs, then before you know it it's a full-blown Shakespearean tragedy.
But this wasn't Breaking Bad, and I never thought they would drag out the "Merlin must keep his magic a secret from Arthur" thing past the first season, let alone until the bitter end. It was an incomprehensibly dull narrative choice. Surely you realize that by like season 3 the "will Arthur find out or not" thing is tedious and way past any kind of suspense. Also it prevents their relationship from developing in any meaningful way. Like your source is literally Arthurian legend, it's not like you have a dearth of material to work with, but you chose to focus on Merlin's 5-season character arc as he goes from beta cuck to even worse beta cuck. They could have been magical detectives solving Camelot mysteries together, brawn and brains, I mean anything would have been better
And yes like every time Morgana or some other character shows up to make a really excellent point about how Uther, an oppressive tyrant who literally kills children, deserves to die, Gaius and Merlin would give some speech about how licking boots rules and it was so frustrating. "If we kill him now using Dark Magicks it will harden Arthur's heart" yeah how did THAT strategy work out for you.
And don't get me started on the ending! Did this show think it was GoT or something? Like it's fine if Arthur has to die eventually, but the meaninglessness of it all! Like basically the overarching theme was that you should dedicate your life to slavish obeisance only to tell Arthur on his deathbed "Dad, I'm gay" and for him to be like "Hmm well love is love I guess" and fucking croak and you spend the next eternity wandering the earth, immortal and alone. What was the point of any of it, what did these characters learn, how did they grow. If he didn't rise for Brexit it's safe to say Arthur-Jesus will never rise again, Albion is fucked (as it should be, but still)
PS. I love how Merlin's "I'm an indecisive cuck who doesn't want to make waves" shtick would stop applying every time he killed Morgana (what was it, like three times he did it)? "I Hate Women and I Love the Divine Right of Kings, Alexa Play 'God Save the Queen'", the BBC show. How did the people watching it episodically over a span of years not go completely insane
PPS. They also killed Merlin's boyfriends Lancelot and Gwaine in the stupidest, most unnecessary ways. Why do you hate every single character in the show you created so much. I canNOT
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manifestmerlin · 1 year
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Oh and back to Caliborn :/ I suppose. I've got only like. 600 pages left and I'm still concerned. Partially cause I've been reading faster than I thought??? Could I finish today????
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aro-tarot · 1 year
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I just send the payment for my first Harucasting doll, so I’ll be shelling Gwen! September is the month said for dolls that are ordering with face-ups, so around there, I’ll be keeping my eye out for Gwen to join Merlin and Arthur!
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nodudeshutup · 19 days
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merlin is such a compelling character because he's so contradictory. he's a man of mystery who's really bad at lying. you can tell he's lying about something, but his behavior is so odd no one can guess what he could possibly be lying about. basically, every character looks at him and goes 'you're clearly hiding something but im not really sure if I want to get into all that right now.' this is why he's able to tell everyone he's a sorcerer in episode three and no one believes him.
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livinginshambles · 10 months
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You're ridiculous, you know | James Potter
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Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader
Word Count: 4.0k
Summary: Part one Masterlist
James sees you in a new light and wants to try to change the way you see him too, moment by moment. He is trying to win you over but understands that you're having a hard time believing that he's genuine about his feeling because of his sudden switch of focus from Lily to you (even though it gave him whiplash as well, but I guess he just accepted it faster.)
Notes: Best friend!James, he's less stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, fluff, pining, misunderstandings, (best) friends to lovers I guess, spelling mistakes probably because I typed this out on my phone.

______________________

With the hatch buried between you and James, you felt like you could finally properly breathe again. James had apologized again, of course and told you that he supported your new style.
Trying to balance your two friends groups however, did prove to be much more difficult than you thought. Neither of the two seemed very entertained by the thought of hanging out together as one group. Besides, James had become rather clingy as well, becoming his very own one man group to balance hanging out with.
"I now have abandonment fears," he jokingly defended when you raised your eyebrows at his arm, wrapped around your waist instead of your shoulder like usual while you two were walking down the open court yard.
"Right," you replied, seemingly not very impressed. You knew what he was trying to do, especially after your rejection. After all, save from Lily, he'd never actually been rejected. You assumed that this too, was a matter of pride. "You have nothing to prove you know," you told him and he merely hummed in reply.
"And anyway, you'll have to let me go now because my mum sent over some dresses for me. I'm planning on trying them on with the girls."
The grip on your waist tightened.
"No," he pleaded, "Don't leave me." He dramatically leaned his entire weight on you, dragging you down as well. Was he always this heavy? You incredulously thought.
"James, you'll make us both fall! Get up you're-"
"The earth is dragging me down. I can't help it, Love," he said in a playful, strained voice.
"Unless you want to spend the afternoon giving your opinion on dresses, I suggest you fight back against the earth, oh brave Gryffindor." You retorted, amusement clear in your voice.
James immediately straightened up. "Sure, I'll review your dresses," he happily replied.
‘Well’, you contemplated. You supposed it’s not as if you've never gotten dressed around eachother.”

Your mum had been very delighted at the news that she could go ahead and send over a dress through the mail. She went a tad bit overboard though, you thought as you looked at the heap of clothes on your bed.
James was sitting next to the said heap, waiting patiently for you to get changed in the bathroom. A pit formed in his stomach at the thought that he'd made things weird enough for you to want to get dressed in the bathroom. 'I mean, you've seen eachother naked before?' He thought. Not that he was aiming to see you naked of course.
His hands weaved through the beautiful clothes. He was sure they'd all look splendid on you. Would you go with him to the Yule Ball? His heart clenched. Probably not. You rejected a date with him to Hogsmeade. No way were you going to accept going to the ball together.
James stared out of the window, a lost feeling washing over him. How could he turn this around? Would you ever look at him that way?
The door opened and James' breath stopped, literally. It was simply perfect.
Mesmerizing, he thought.
'Merlin this was only the very first dress, how would his heart survive the dozen other dresses? You looked radiant. Like actually radiant. The dress made you glow with beauty and confidence. The color was what he could only describe as your color and made you look like bloody royalty.' He knew his opinion was biased, but it was still the truth, he thought.
And so his mind started racing. You were going to go to the ball, looking like that, with a date who was someone else. Jealousy flared up at the thought. He had to internally slap himself to shake him out of it.
You had taken his long silence as a negative opinion and quickly brought your arms to fold over your middle, covering yourself. "Not this one then?" You asked.
"No. I-I mean yes, sorry. I was distracted."
You felt slight disappointment at his words. Another sinking feeling in your stomach, but you reasoned with yourself that he just wasn’t used to doing this sort of activity with you. "You don't have to do this you know." You gently said and sat down next to him.
"Do you have a date to the ball?" He blurted out in response.
You were taken aback by the change of subject but shrugged. "There's been a few people who’ve asked, but I don't know. I've never talked to them before and it feels a little superficial that they only now would ask me out, just because they noticed I look and dress differently."
James could feel his heart plummet even lower if that was possible. Did you think that about him as well? You wouldn't be wrong of course. He'd only started to view you in a different light when you decided to go for a different style, and stopped only hanging out with the marauders after all. Guilt started to weigh his mind.
"Are you going to ask Lily out?" You tentatively asked.
"Of course," he automatically responded, without having processed the question. Your face fell a little. A confirmation, you thought. You were right. Maybe you'd have to accept one of the student' proposals for the Yule Ball after all.
James’ eyes widened and he quickly averted his eyes when you unzipped your dress right next to him. "The bathroom?!" He sqeaked out in panic.
You put on a grin. "Well, you look like you're bored and me taking my time in the bathroom will take too long. I guess I could just very quickly change here. Besides, you've seen me naked before."
James was somehow feeling more hurt at the prospect of you getting changed in front of him, than hiding in the bathroom. It meant that you really only saw him as a friend, he sighed.
You on the other hand, decided that you were hellbent on refusing to let your dynamic with James change because of unrequited feelings.

James was lying on his bed, wide awake. He couldn't sleep, mind wandering off to you, and he rolled around in frustration at himself and yelled into his pillow. Ashamed, he looked around if the he'daccidentally woken anyone up. He didn't.
He was restless. None of his subtle advances had apparently been noticed by you. And if they had, then you'd blatantly ignored them. James wasn't sure which option he liked better.
Tears of frustration and misery welled up in his eyes. He'd seen you get asked out by three different people today, and every time, his heart would stop, scared that you'd say yes.
The past few days, his eyes couldn't leave your figure as you went off to hang out with Lily, and he cursed himself for never having noticed you, too focused on Lily. He groaned and turned around again in his bed. "You're the perfect best friend," is what you had told him this morning when he had saved you from an awkward conversation with a seventh year Ravenclaw. His stomach had dropped.
'But you agreed to hang out with just him,' he kept telling himself in reassurance. Tomorrow was finally weekend and an off day which meant it was time for your not-date. At the thought, his heart lightened, and he managed to finally fall asleep.

You really weren't complaining at all. If anything you couldn't help your body from completely leaning into James who had once again wrapped his arms around your waist. Arms that were firmly holding on to you as if to not let you leave his side.
A week had passed since he asked you out on a date, and you and James were finally off to Hogsmeade together, your own heart both seering, as well as clenching at the thought that this was merely considered 'hanging out'.
Yes, you'd very much wanted it to be a date. Exactly like James had described it. Just the two of you, together on a date, which in a way was kind of what you were doing right now, even if you denied calling it that.
And if you weren't absolutely sure that you were setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak at the prospect of not working out because of his feelings for Lily, you would've definitely agreed with the biggest grin on your face.
But you were sure that that's what you'd be setting yourself up for. And having conflict avoiding tendencies had you make rational decisions such as then. Besides, the fact that he was going to ask Lily out to the Yule Ball confirmed that you had made the right decision.
'Could've been a date though', your mind seemed to whisper, and you grimaced. 'And then what,' you thought. 'Even if he settles for me, it would just be unfair for both of us. He never gets to be truly happy and I never get to be truly loved.' You scoffed.
"You okay, Love?" James shook you out of your train of thoughts, a concerned look on his face and he slowed his pace to a stop to properly look at you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face, his eyes searching yours.
You turned your head to the left and stuck out your tongue. He jerked away in surprise with a loud laugh. "That's foul!" He yelled. He was about to wipe his hand on his trousers when he stopped and then looked contemplatively from his hand to you and back.
Your grin was wiped off your face at the sight of the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and wasted no time to sprint off.
"You keep that hand to yourself Potter!" You shouted with a laugh.
"Absolutely not, you get back here!"
"This is a new dress, no way I'm letting you wipe your hand on it!" You quickly shot back and looked behind you to see him quickly catching up on you.
You watched with a face of disdain as he calmly wiped his hands with your sleeves, holding you in a headlock. "So unfair", you muttered.
James childishly stuck his tongue out and released you from his grasp.
It had you tumbling to the ground. "Hey!"
"Alright truce?" He asked and he stuck his hand out, both to seal the deal as well as help you up.
When you moved to shake his hand, he smirked. 'Oh so naive. You should know better.'
You noticed the trap far too late and weren't able to pull your hand back fast enough-
"James! Now that's foul!" You shrieked at his wet hand. Undoubtedly, because he'd spit in it moments before.
James was doubling over in laughter, and you took the opportunity to wipe your hands on his sweater. He let you.
“You’re ridiculous you know,” you shook your head.
“And you not at all,” he grinned. James wrapped his arms securely around your waist again, and you continued to head to Hogsmeade.

James looked at you from the bar counter. He was waiting for the drinks he ordered and admired you from afar. You were already sitting at a table in the corner for two and were munching on some snacks you had fished out of your bag, waving at him with a warm smile when you caught his gaze.
Sure, up until recently, he’d always seen you as the cool best friend that he could share everything with, tackle to the ground, tell gross jokes to, or get shirtless around when changing clothes. He was used to not at all treating you differently than Sirius, Remus or Peter, because in his eyes, you belonged to the same category.
But now, even though James also absolutely didn’t want your dynamic to change, he was conflicted because he finally saw you in a different light. He just had to try and make you see him in a different light as well.
The bartender gave him his drinks and he walked over to you with a grin. “Pick one,” he told you, still standing next to you and holding the mugs behind his back.
“Left,” you chose without hesitation. He put the mug in front of you and you looked suspiciously in the mug. At the sight of the green liquid you squinted your eyes at him. He put his own mug down and you leaned over the table to peer into it as well. Blue.
“Are you trying to poison us both?”
James snorted and sat down in front of you, “You got me.”
You kicked his leg under the table and he pretended to be in excruciating pain. “You wound me, Love,” He groaned exaggeratedly, all the way slouched down his chair and gripping his leg to sell his point.
“Want me to kiss it better?”, you teased and then immediately awkwardly paused. See this would’ve been a normal thing to say if you said this a month ago, but now it just made things weird. James however was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely soaking in the thought and cheekily replied, “Oh, darling, you must.”
‘Alright cheeky bastard’, you thought. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you moved your chair back and ducked under the table. James' eyes widened in shock, especially when you grabbed his leg.
“Drinking all by yourself?” Frank’s voice had both of you freeze up.
You moved to get up from your crouched position, planning on using a fallen hair tie as an excuse when James blurted out a different excuse. “No, just waiting for Y/N, she went to the bathroom.” You groaned and hit your head repeatedly against James’ knee.
Great, now it would be weird if you just crawled out from under the table.
“Y/N? I was actually looking for her, I mean we’re partners for potions class. You know what, I’ll just wait with you then.”
‘No!” James said, a little too loud, before he could help himself. He cleared his throat. “I mean uh,” James leaned in towards Frank and quietly, as if he was telling a secret, gleefully added, “We’re actually on a date.”
You playfully slapped his leg in a scolding manner.
Frank immediately seemed to get it and wished him good luck before leaving the table.
You scrambled out quickly and when your eyes met, you both burst out in laughter.

Despite your fear that dynamics would change and your resolve that you wouldn't allow it, you didn't mind the change so much if this was how it was going to be from now on, you thought to yourself. James had dramatically thrown himself half on top of you, head buried right under your breasts.
"Rough Quidditch practice", he'd mumbled before collapsing and absolutely melting like snow for the sun into you when you weaved your fingers through his curly locks, the other hand rubbing at the nape of his neck.
When you had tried to pull your hands away to retrieve your book from the bag next to you to pass the time while James seemed passed out, James had whined in protest, grabbing your hands and placing them back on his head.
"Prongs," you tried after a long time but received no answer. you lifted your hands from his head again and finally got a grumbled "What."
"Supper,' you softly spoke.
"Five more minutes, please?"
As if you could deny that request. After another few 'five more minutes' you finally gently pushed him off, both of you sitting up. He looked around, dazed, his eyes drooping and hair messy.
You entered the great hall with James trailing behind you, holding your hand. Peter spotted you and waved you over. James squished himself between Sirius and you, ignoring the other spot front of you that the marauders had saved for him.
"Blimey Y/N, what have you done with Prongs?!" Sirius asked, a horriefied expression adorning his face when James lazily rested his face in your neck. You laughed at his antics and shrugged, getting complaints from James at your movements.
Remus handed you two plates of food. "We saved these for you two."
"Thanks Moony," you gratefully accepted them and poked James with a fork. "Eat, you big baby," you said and pushed the fork in his hand. James internally groaned. But he was so comfortable like this. Why couldn't he just stay like this forever? He reluctantly sat up straight and started eating. He was hungry after all.
"Hey Potter, mind if we steal Y/N for a second?"
"Go away McKinnon," he was quick to respond and stuck out his tongue pettily. "She stays with me, you already had her the entire day."
You amusedly watched them banter. "I think you'll find that I will choose myself where I go, Prongs." And got up from your seat, moving down the long table to sit next to Lily.
"So what the hell was that Prongs?" Sirius inquired as soon as you were out of hearing range. Peter and Remus curiously looked at him.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that I fancy Y/N?"
"Yeah that too, even if it was absolutely obvious," Peter shrugged.
Remus laughed at James' gaping expression. "What Padfoot meant was are you guys like a thing now? Like did we miss something? I thought you said she kinda rejected a date with you?"
James sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, she did." He straightened up again. But I'm working on it though."
Lily nudged you. "So I don't know if I should thank you or pity you."
"Huh?"
"I mean, thank you for getting James to stop pursuing me, but I'm sorry you have to deal with him now," she laughed.
Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Unless you don't mind having to deal with him of course," she smirked. "You looked pretty comfy," she added.
Alice nodded her head in agreement. "Frank told me you two went on a date last week apparently."
Your friends gasped dramatically and you were quick to deny it. "No, James just said that so Frank would leave us alone," you said and swatted Dorcas when she suggestively wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Ugh, you guys, be nice to me," you complained while laughing. "We're just friends hanging out, besides he still likes you Lils, look he's still staring at you," you said that last part with a sigh.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Not at me, he's not." She nudged you again. "Look," she urged you.
You turned your head to look at James and your eyes met. He couldn't help but wink and felt very victorious when you looked away flusteredly, a big smile on your face.
'Could it be?'

Over the course of the next few weeks, James and you had gotten a lot closer. By now, you and James walked through the hallways, his hand always touching you somehow, whether he was holding yours, had his arm slung around your shoulders, waist, or lower back.
You also found yourself hanging around the boys dormitory alone with James more often than ever before. You were laying horizontally across his bed, your head hanging off the side of the bed. James went to the bathroom and you were passing the time.
You kept sliding forward bit by bit and when you were hanging low enough to look under James' bed, a brilliant plan to jumpscare him popped up in your brain. Perfect. You quickly moved to hide under his bed. Your hands ready to grab his ankles when he returned.
The door opened and you held your breath in anticipation. You peeked from underneath the drapes, covering your body and saw him look around surprisedly before a mischievous grin appeared on his face.
He called out your name to be certain and when you didn't respond, he pumped his fist excitedly and hurried to hide inside the wardrobe on the other side of the room, undoubtedly having the same idea as you and you couldn't suppress your laugh anymore. You rolled out from under the bed grinning like an idiot.
James joined you on the floor, although he did seem a little bit bummed out that he hadn't been able to prank you. "I guess genius recognizes genius," he admitted with a laugh.
"I have to go to the library to study," you bit your lip while you said it. Disappointed at the thought of breaking the peace.
James turned his head and looked over at you. You were so close. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in the moment of having you within arms reach like that.
When he reopened his eyes, they flickered over your face and rested a little longer on your lips. It wouldn't take more than him leaning in to easily capture your lips and it took everything in him not to. It almost pained him literally. You turned your head towards James due to the lack of response, checking if everything was alright and if he had heard you when you said you needed to go.
"You're mesmerizing," he whispered softly, the words always on the back of his mind since he saw you in the first dress. You chuckled at that. "Using big words now, huh," you whispered back teasingly, a fond expression on your face.
"No, really."
Those two words left you speechless in surprise. You don't know what it was. Perhaps the sincerity on his face or in his tone. Perhaps the way he emphasized that he really meant it. Or maybe even the way he was looking at you right then. 
Whatever it was, it made you throw your reservations and resolve straight out of the window.
Rational decisions were the last thing on your mind when your eyes locked with James' and then you were both leaning in, meeting each other halfway in a soft, fleeting kiss.
"I think you're mesmerizing as well," You murmured against his lips and you could feel them curl up in a smile.

"You're such an arsehole," you laughed, slapping his ice cold hands away. You ended up not going to the library to study. After all, who needs studying anyway? Instead you and James had curled up against each other on his bed, entangled together and James decided to slide his freezing hands under your shirt, resting on your stomach.
"No, I'm mesmerizing," he huffed and attempted to warm his hands again.
"Did you even wash your hands when you returned from the bathroom?"
There was a long pause and you stared up at him incredulously. "James Potter! You are disgusting," you exclaimed.
“Oh don’t tell me you’ve never forgotten to wash your hands after going to the toilet!”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to hold the- the thing.”
James laughed loudly.
“You suck,” you huffed.
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I can't be that bad, I won you over in less than a month," he wore a triumphant smile on his face and you wanted nothing more than to smack it off. You didn't of course, and instead buried your face in his neck in embarrassment while grumbling about arrogance. You two hadn't really talked about the kiss that happened 10 minutes prior.
Absolutely refusing to let you pull back mentally and physically, James had been quick to mention how uncomfortable your position on the floor really was, and he proposed to lay down on his bed instead where he changed the topic while still getting comfortable with you. It was his way of letting you know that he wasn't trying to skim over the fact that you kissed or ignore the fact that it happened, but rather that he wanted to ease the tension by doing so.
You were relieved and thankful for him, knowing that that tension would have absolutely made things too awkward for you, and that you would've definitely fled from the room in denial.
"I think I fancy you, James," you eventually quietly admitted to him, your voice muffled as your face was still hidden away.
His grip on you tightened and he pulled you even closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Yeah?" he breathed out, his heart soaring.
"Yeah."
"I fancy you too, Love." And with that you tilted your head up far enough to place your lips in a firm kiss right under his jaw.
There was another comfortable silence and then, "So, how about a proper date. You and me, us, together." He quickly clarified the last part.
You laughed out loud. "Yes please, Hogsmeade?"
"Actually, I was thinking maybe the Yule Ball."
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whenlilyfallsinlove · 24 days
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jolene
james potter x reader
this is not a good fic for james.. (love him tho) and my remus bias is SHOWING. i love lily. no lily hate.
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jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene i'm begging of you please don't take my man jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene please don't take him just because you can
a small part of you knew that, although you were the one dating james potter, lily evans still held a place in his heart. i mean it was sad right? someone you were in love with, someone you were dating, was in love with someone else. but for some reason you had grown accustomed to it, was this stupid of you? yes, maybe. but you didn't want to lose james, as both a boyfriend and a friend. so it felt like a logical thing.
you knew lily evans didn't like james either, not even as a friend. she hated the boy. you thought back to the gossip you had had with her, marlene and dorcas when they found out you were dating him.
"merlin y/n, james?" lily had whispered-shouted the very night she found out that you were dating him.
"hey.. he's not that bad." you chuckle.
"that's not gonna convince her, it's a well known fact lils hates james." marlene laughs.
"that's true." you respond.
"and i thought you liked remus anyway." lily teases.
"that was in like 3rd year, i've been over that ages." you feel your face heat. sure you had liked moony once, but you had liked james for a while now.
"he's better than james though, seriously you can do better y/n." lily tells you.
you giggle, but then see dorcas with a confused look on her face.
"you alright dorcas?" marlene raises an eyebrow.
"yeah i just.. i have a question." dorcas speaks up.
you nod at her to speak.
"when did james get over lily? i'm not saying he doesn't like you of course y/n, but up until the other week, he was obsessed with her." dorcas thinks aloud, in all fairness, asking the question on everyones lips.
you sigh.
"i asked him that, he told me he was trying to deflect the fact that he really liked me, and he was too nervous to flirt with me so flirted with lily instead to hide his true feelings." you mutter, now realising that james' reasoning was.. maybe not the best.
"aww thats cute y/n.." marlene sees the look on your face and tries to comfort you.
"yeah." you smile, weakly.
"and don't worry y/n, i would never go anywhere near potter. and i think he does like you and not me." lily reassures you.
noticing your discomfort, the girls changed the subject, but you couldn't nudge the feeling of doubt in your chest. now that you thought about it, james' reasoning felt a bit.. excuse like? but no, he asked you out, not lily. so he must like you?! relationships were complicating; you guessed you'd have to wait to see how things played out.
your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
"hello gorgeous." james grins at you cheekily, planting a kiss on your cheek as you take a seat next to him at the gryffindor table.
"guys do we really need to be doing this at eight o'clock in the morning." sirius fake gags. you stick your tongue out at him in response, causing him to laugh.
"just cos you're lonely padfoot." james chuckles.
sirius playfully rolls his eyes at him, and you see remus looking at you from the other side of the table. you smile at him which he returns but looks away quickly, feeling like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't.
james wraps an arm around your waist, and starts telling you whatever new prank him and sirius were planning on snape.
"and then we were planning to turn his hair green." he smiles at you.
"poor snape." you tease.
"what? you planning on leaving me for snivellus?" james raises an eyebrow, playfully.
"of course." you respond chuckling.
your playful banter was interrupted by lily approaching you, carrying your transfiguration book. of course, you invited her to sit with yourself and the marauders but she didn't like to be near james for long periods of time.
"y/n, you left this in our dorm this morning." she smiles at you and hands you the book.
you smile back. she looked extra pretty today, her green eyes sparkling, her auburn hair shiny. it made you feel a little self-conscious.
"thanks lils, what would i do without you?" you laugh.
"you wouldn't be able to cope, that's for sure." lily smiles at you, giving you a wave, heading back to her own seaat.
"thank godric for that, mcgonagall would've been fuming-" you turn back to james, your words faltering seeing his face.
his face was bright red and he looked distracted as he gazed off into the distance. you followed his gaze to see what was wrong with him. then you realised. james was looking at lily. and he had a stupid goofy smile on his face. what a prick! he was YOUR boyfriend.
"james, are you okay?" you snap him out of his daze.
"yeah yeah, perfectly fine love." he turns back to you, his blush fading.
then it was as if everything was back to normal. sirius, james and peter engaging back into their normal conversation. you were quieter however. remus remained quiet as well, noticing the dejected look on your face. he gave you a comforting smile across the table and you gave him a weak one in return.
at that moment, you wished nothing more to be lily evans.
your smile is like a breath of spring your voice is soft like summer rain and i cannot compete with you jolene.
"i don't want to feel like a second choice to you james! i love you." you sighed. this was yours and james's first argument. and you HATED it.
"i love you too y/n, of course you're not my second choice!" james tries to comfort you.
"i just feel like you're just settling for me because lily doesn't like you!" you admitted.
"well that's not true y/n, i told you.. i was using lily to coverup my feelings for you." james lets out a exasperated sigh.
"sometimes it doesn't feel that way james, i don't want to be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her (iykyk)" you rub your forehead with your hand.
"y/n.." james puts his arm around you. "it's you i'm dating.. not evans. don't be jealous!"
you scoff. "of course i'm jealous, she's beautiful and you were obsessed with her long before dating me."
"and i'm not anymore. just drop it y/n. i love you not her." james frowns.
you sigh and cave in.
"i don't like arguing with you james." you say, as you rest your head on his shoulder.
"i don't like arguing with you either y/n" he sighs, and pulls you closer.
you couldn't stop thinking about lily though. you were friends with her, and she would never intentionally hurt you. you knew deep down james still liked her, feelings don't go away that easy.
he talks about you in his sleep and there's nothing i can do to keep from crying when he calls your name jolene
gryffindor house were infamous for throwing the best parties. and tonight was living proof. gryffindor had just won a quidditch match against slytherin which of course meant a big celebration. and of course, your boyfriend and captain of the team james potter was the main centre of attention.
"he's nuts." you shake your head at sirius, when you see james dancing and obnoxiously singing to dancing queen by abba in the middle of the common room.
"he's bloody brilliant." sirius takes a sip of firewhiskey, chuckling.
the man in question headed towards you.
"y/n, would you care to join me." he jokingly bows down, holding his hand out for you to take.
"indeed i would." you giggle and take his hand.
he pulls you to the middle of the common room, twirling you around/ you laugh and join in singing and dancing. you could tell he was a little drunk but you didn't mind.
as the party went on, you had somehow lost contact with james. he was a social butterfly of course, probably talking to his friends. you yourself were stood with marlene, dorcas and lily, sipping your drinks, giggling at the antics of some of your housemates.
the party eventually thinned out, at about 3 in the morning, when mcgonagall told them to quiet down. eventually it was just you and as you looked towards the jukebox (which was playing jolene by dolly parton) remus carrying a half unconscious james.
you walked up to the two.
"he's drunk too much." remus chuckles.
"unsurprising, i'm sure he had already had about 4 firewhiskeys in the first hours." you smile affectionately at james.
remus notices your smile, and smiles wider.
"you don't usually come to parties, do you remus?" your question catches remus off guard.
"n-no i don't. just wanted to support my friends." he responds, knowing that was probably a good answer judging by the smile on your face.
you turn back to look at james.
"let's get you to bed ay?" you say, trying to wake him.
"l-lily?" james whispers, seemingly in his sleep.
your heart dropped. of course he was dreaming about lily.
"i'm not lily." you grit your teeth. "would you rather have her take care of you?"
remus sees your face and is quick to comfort you.
"don't worry y/n, he's drunk, he probably doesn't know any better." he says.
you nod and sit down on one of the armchairs.
how could you ever compete with lily evans?
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