#metrics-graphics

[nights-at-crystarium]

[xenonreality]

So!!!

The big reveal is that Vulkan makes everything preform worse, except for using d3d9 & only for a terrible bump in measured lines

All of these are million(s +) for the numbers averaged & written down

Use d3d11 on 12, using chrome, for the best average when taking into account a AMD RYZEN 7 5800x 8 core processor, 64gb of ram, & a Nvidia GeForce RTX 3080

Use OpenGL for slightly better measured triangles

Use OpenGl with Vulkan for outright best measured lines

Double default on chrome doesn't get anything to become the best average, but it is close.

Check the averages in the link shared for the results of everything.

[webzguruservices]

Social Media Trends in 2023: What Marketers Need to Know

Are you ready to take your social media marketing game to the next level? Buckle up, because in this blog post, we’re diving headfirst into the future of social media trends. As 2023 approaches, it’s crucial for marketers like yourself to stay ahead of the curve and harness the power of emerging platforms and strategies.

From AI-powered chatbots to immersive augmented reality experiences, this is where all your marketing dreams can come true. So grab a pen and paper – or open that notes app on your phone – because you won’t want to miss out on these incredible insights that will revolutionize the way you connect with your audience in 2023!

Introduction to Social Media Trends in 2023

As we approach the year 2023, it is important for marketers to stay ahead of the game and be aware of the latest social media trends in order to effectively reach their target audience. With technology constantly evolving and consumer behavior changing rapidly, it is crucial for businesses to adapt and utilize these trends to their advantage.

In this section, we will dive deeper into the emerging social media trends that are predicted to dominate the digital landscape in 2023. From new platforms to changing user preferences, understanding these trends will help marketers develop a successful social media marketing strategy for their brand.

1. The Rise of New Social Media Platforms

Social media platforms have been continuously popping up over the years, with some gaining immense popularity while others fade away. In 2023, we can expect new platforms to emerge that will shake up the current social media scene. These platforms may offer unique features or cater to specific niches, providing businesses with more options for reaching and engaging with their target audience.

One such platform that has been gaining traction is TikTok. With its short-form video content and huge younger demographic user base, it has become a popular platform for brands looking to connect with Gen Z consumers. As more users flock towards this platform, marketers should consider incorporating TikTok into their social media strategy.

2. The Dominance of Visual Content

Visual content has always been an important aspect of social media marketing but its importance is expected to increase even further in 2023. With the rise of short-form video content, we can expect to see more platforms and features that focus on visual elements.

Live streaming has also become increasingly popular in recent years and is predicted to continue in 2023. This provides brands with an opportunity to connect with their audience in real-time and showcase their products or services through engaging visual content.

Additionally, augmented reality (AR) and virtual reality (VR) are expected to play a bigger role in social media marketing. These technologies allow for a more immersive experience for users and can be used by brands to create interactive content that stands out from the competition.

3. Personalized and Authentic Content

Consumers have become more aware of traditional advertising techniques and are seeking more authentic and personalized content from brands. In 2023, businesses will need to focus on creating genuine connections with their audience through meaningful, relevant, and personalized content.

This means using data-driven insights to understand their target audience’s preferences and tailoring content accordingly. It also involves leveraging user-generated content, such as customer reviews or influencer collaborations, to build trust with potential customers.

The Rise of Micro-Influencers and the Decline of Celebrity Endorsements

In recent years, there has been a significant shift in the world of influencer marketing. Traditional celebrity endorsements that were once highly sought after by brands are now being replaced by collaborations with micro-influencers. This trend is not only changing the dynamics of influencer marketing but also redefining the concept of influence itself.

Micro-influencers are individuals who have a smaller but highly engaged and loyal following on social media, typically ranging from 1,000 to 100,000 followers. They are considered experts or enthusiasts in a specific niche and have built a strong personal brand around it. Unlike traditional celebrities who often have millions of followers across various platforms, micro-influencers tend to have a more targeted and niche audience.

So why are brands shifting their focus towards working with micro-influencers? There are several reasons behind this shift:

1. Authenticity and Relatability: Micro-influencers often have a more genuine connection with their followers as they personally interact with them through comments and direct messages. This makes their recommendations and endorsements come across as more authentic and relatable compared to traditional celebrities who may seem out of touch with their fan base.

2. Cost-Effective: Collaborating with micro-influencers is much more cost-effective for brands than hiring A-list celebrities for endorsements. With lower fees and sometimes even free products or services, brands can reach out to multiple micro-influencers within their budget instead of investing all their resources into one celebrity endorsement.

3. Niche Target ing: Micro-influencers have a strong following within a specific niche, making them ideal for brands looking to target a particular audience. For example, a brand selling organic skincare products would benefit more from collaborating with a micro-influencer who specializes in natural and organic lifestyle rather than a mainstream celebrity.

4. Higher Engagement Rates: As micro-influencers have a smaller but highly engaged following, their content tends to receive higher engagement rates compared to traditional celebrities. This means that the brand’s message is more likely to be seen and shared by their followers, resulting in better ROI for the brand.

The Growing Importance of Video Content on Social Media

In recent years, there has been a significant shift towards video content on social media platforms. This trend has been driven by the rapid growth of mobile devices and the increasing popularity of visual content among social media users. As a result, video has become an essential tool for marketers to reach and engage with their target audiences.

One of the key reasons for the growing importance of video on social media is its ability to capture attention and evoke emotions in a way that other forms of content cannot. According to research by HubSpot, 54% of consumers prefer to see videos from brands they support, surpassing email newsletters (46%) and blog articles (41%). This statistic highlights the strong preference for video content among consumers and how it can be used as a powerful marketing tool.

Additionally, videos have also proven to be highly shareable on social media platforms. People are more likely to share interesting or entertaining videos with their friends and followers, which can significantly increase brand exposure and reach. This makes video content vital for businesses looking to expand their online presence quickly.

Another factor contributing to the rise of video content on social media is its compatibility with mobile devices. With more people accessing social media through their smartphones than ever before, it’s crucial for brands to create mobile-friendly content that is easily consumable on small screens. Videos provide an excellent solution as they are quick-loading, visually engaging, and require minimal effort from viewers compared to reading text-based posts.

The Impact of Virtual and Augmented Reality on Social Media Marketing

Virtual and augmented reality (VR/AR) have become increasingly popular in recent years, transforming the way we experience and interact with technology. These innovative technologies have also made a significant impact on social media marketing, revolutionizing how brands engage with their audience online.

1. Enhancing User Engagement

One of the main benefits of VR/AR in social media marketing is its ability to enhance user engagement. By creating immersive experiences through virtual or augmented reality, brands can capture their audience’s attention and provide a more interactive and memorable experience. Traditional forms of advertising such as static images or videos are no longer enough to stand out in the oversaturated market of social media. VR/AR offers a unique opportunity for businesses to create personalized and engaging content that encourages users to actively participate rather than passively consume.

2. Creating Authentic Brand Experiences

With VR/AR, companies can bring their products or services to life by allowing consumers to experience them in an authentic way. This helps build trust with customers as they get a real sense of what it would be like to use the product or service before making a purchase decision. For example, furniture retailers can use AR technology to let customers visualize how a piece of furniture would look like in their home before buying it.

The Role of Artificial Intelligence in Social Media Strategy

The role of artificial intelligence (AI) in social media strategy has become increasingly important in the world of digital marketing. As technology continues to advance, AI is becoming more integrated into various aspects of our daily lives, including our online interactions and experiences with social media.

One major way that AI is impacting social media strategy is through its ability to collect, analyze and interpret large amounts of data. With millions of users active on different social media platforms every day, it can be a daunting task for marketers to manually track and understand their target audience’s behavior and preferences. AI algorithms are able to automatically gather this data from various sources such as user profiles, posts, comments, and likes, providing valuable insights that can inform marketing strategies.

Additionally, AI-powered tools are now capable of creating personalized content for social media channels. These tools use machine learning techniques to analyze individual user behaviors and interests in order to deliver tailored content that resonates with them. This not only helps brands reach their target audience more effectively but also creates a more personalized experience for the consumer.

Another key aspect where AI plays an essential role in social media strategy is in chatbots or virtual assistants. These programs use natural language processing (NLP) technology to interact with users in real-time on social media platforms. Chatbots can assist customers by answering basic queries, providing information about products or services, and even making recommendations based on the customer’s previous interactions with the brand.

The Continued Dominance of Instagram and the Potential Growth of TikTok

In recent years, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives. It has revolutionized the way we connect and communicate with others, and it continues to evolve at a rapid pace. As we enter a new year, it is important for marketers to stay updated on the latest social media trends in order to effectively reach their target audience.

One trend that has been dominating the social media landscape for quite some time now is Instagram. With over 1 billion monthly active users, this photo-sharing platform shows no signs of slowing down. In fact, according to a report by eMarketer, Instagram’s advertising revenue is expected to reach $13.86 billion in 2020, making it one of the top platforms for marketers.

So what makes Instagram so popular? One key factor is its visual nature – allowing users to share photos and videos instantly with their followers. This makes it an ideal platform for businesses looking to showcase their products or services in a visually appealing manner. Additionally, Instagram’s algorithm prioritizes high-quality content and engagement, making it easier for businesses to organically reach a larger audience.

Moreover, Instagram constantly introduces new features and updates to keep its users engaged. These include IGTV (Instagram TV), where users can upload longer-form video content, Stories which disappear after 24 hours similar to Snapchat’s format, and recently introduced Checkout feature that allows businesses to sell products directly through the app.

Strategies for Leveraging these Trends to Benefit Your Business

As we have discussed in the previous section, social media trends for have presented businesses with new opportunities and challenges. To stay ahead of the competition and make the most out of these trends, it is important for marketers to develop strategies that leverage these changes to benefit their business.

Here are some key strategies that businesses can use to capitalize on the current social media trends:

1. Utilize Influencer Marketing: With the rise of influencer marketing, businesses can tap into the power of influential individuals or personalities on social media to promote their products or services. This strategy not only helps in reaching a wider audience but also builds trust and credibility among consumers.

2. Invest in Video Content: Video content is becoming increasingly popular on social media. Businesses should take advantage of this trend by creating engaging and high-quality video content to captivate their audience and increase brand awareness.

3. Embrace Chatbots: Chatbots are gaining popularity as a means of providing customer service on social media platforms. By utilizing chatbots, businesses can provide quick and efficient responses to customer inquiries, thus improving overall customer experience.

4. Leverage User-Generated Content: With the rise of social media influencers and the increasing importance of authentic content, user-generated content has become a valuable asset for businesses. Encouraging customers to share their experiences with your brand on social media can help build trust and credibility, leading to increased brand loyalty and sales.

5. Optimize for Mobile: As more and more people access social media through their mobile devices, it is essential for businesses to optimize their social media content for mobile platforms. This includes making sure that websites, ads, and other content are mobile-friendly and easily accessible.

6. Use Social Listening Tools: With the amount of data available on social media, it is important for businesses to use social listening tools to monitor conversations about their brand and industry.

Conclusion

As we look towards the future of social media, it is clear that the landscape will continue to evolve and change rapidly. However, by staying informed on current trends and being adaptable to new platforms and strategies, marketers can effectively reach their target audience and stay ahead of the competition. Whether it’s through influencer marketing, video content, or interactive features, there are endless opportunities for brands to connect with consumers in 2023 and beyond.

[terriblebicho]

(Actual ad on tumblr) A couple weeks ago I watched a clip on YouTube where a guy said something like ""All 'manly men's lifestyle' brands use the exact same logo, it's just glasses and the sillhouette of some guy's beard."" And it hasn't left my mind since.

[neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies]

Inventing a tag game-

What are some side quests you want to do? They can be completely unserious, maybe hobbies you want to pursue sonetime or something utterly outlandish?

I have quite a few. In no particular order-

1. Figure skating. Don't want to compete or anything. Just casually want to be able to do this.

2. Contemporary dance.

3. Being in the orchestra as a background vocalist of atleast 1 Sufjan Stevens song.

4. Leaning how to play the piano, how to crochet and pottery

5. Publishing a poetry collection, a novel and releasing an album in the same year, getting famous enough that I earn enough money to pick up a painting hobby.

6. Major in English Literature with a psychology minor (for context, I'm preparing for med school)

7. Having collections (of fossils, coins etc etc)

8. Giving a ted talk.

9. Owning obsure clothing and jewellery (fish tie, odd graphic tees, knife earrings etc etc)

10. Having a room where every square cenitmeter (METRIC USERS UNITE) has posters or vinyls or plants. Maximalist wet dream.

Tagging my mutuals -

@glitteredbubbles @youraveragestreetlamp @xxcherryberriezxx @florenceandthejellybean @wilsons-three-legged-siamese

@lc-27 @la-luna-del-lupo @yourfavvgal @scrunchybugzzz @clodyghost @nicoandthepoets

@sillyhyperfixator @sensationalstardust @lv3buzzz @ace-misplaced

[talenlee]

Life With Generative Tools

In 2023, back when my posts were still being shared to Twitter because the API wasn’t paid-only, I wrote an article about the potential ramifications of generative art media going forward. My concern in the immediate was that the tools weren’t going to go away, but also the potential harm to artists was as much about general economic precarity and not people using fanart to make their D&D characters. I further added to this with a consideration of how I wanted to avoid using generative art in my game development because I didn’t want what people would say about it. That is, a social pressure about the art is what keeps me from using it, not a personal philosophical disposition. I’m an artist who already works with collage and constraints, this feels like a handy way to have something I can play with.

Well, it’s been a year and change and a sort of AI Art Apocalypse has happened, and if you’re not aware of it, it’s because you’re someone who avoids all of the pools that have been so thoroughly pissed in that they are now just piss. If you’re at all related to any part of the internet where people share a bunch of images – which is to say a lot of social media – then you’re already dealing with the place crawling with generative images. Whether it’s a fanart booru, or big sites like facebook and twitter, or god help you deviantart, there is a pretty clear sign that anywhere that opened the door to generative art became a space overwhelmingly for generative art.

I teach about this subject now and I have had some time with it in a situation away from the internet, and I’d like to give you some insights into what this stuff is for, what it does, why you shouldn’t use it, and ways it can be useful.

Content Warning: I’m going to be talking about these tools as tools that exist and leaving the philosophical/ethical arguments about ‘art theft’ and their genesis aside. I’m not including any examples. No shrimp jesus jumpscare.

You might notice I’m saying ‘generative art’ and not ‘AI art.’ Part of this is because I don’t want to buy into the idea that these tools are ‘artificial intelligence.’ Ironically, ‘AI art’ now has less of an implication of being ‘Artificial Intelligence’ and is much more of an implication of ‘it’s ugly shiny art of shrimp jesus with badly spelled signs.’

I want to focus for this conversation on generative graphical tools, and I want to do that because I don’t have much experience with the other types. The textual generators offer me something I don’t really need? I already make a ton of words of dubious quality. Those are actually the things that concern me because their natural aesthetic is authoritive and comprehensive and that’s why it’s a problem that they’re being used to present any old nonsense that may just be straight up wrong. I don’t use those tools and I avoid the platforms that use them so I’m not familiar with them.

Things Generative Art Is Good For

I already use art I don’t own, a lot, for playing. Every day for the past three years I’ve shared a custom Magic: The Gathering playing card, a game I don’t own the rights to, using a card face I don’t own the rights to, and artwork from an artist on Artstation whose artwork I did not pay for or even ask for. This is generally seen as a totally reasonable and acceptable form of playful, transformative media generation and I at no point pretend I have any rights to the material. If I take a picture of someone famous and put a speech bubble over their mouth saying ‘I drink farts,’ if I, as tumblr says, play with jpgs like dolls, that is by no means being done with rights and permission.

Which means we’re already aware that there’s a way of playing with images that both violates copyright but is generally okay to do.

The metric I use for this is if the thing you’re using generative art for doesn’t matter, then it doesn’t matter. If you’re not going to try and claim money, if you’re not going to put it on a marketplace, if you aren’t going to try and claim ownership and profit off generative material, I think you’re probably fine. I mean probably, if you’re using it to say, generate revenge porn of a classmate that’s an asshole move, but the thing is that’s a bad thing regardless of the tool you’re using. If you’re using it to bulk flood a space, like how Deviantart is full of accounts with tens of thousands of pictures made in a week, then that’s an asshole move because, again, it’s an asshole move regardless of the tool.

If you’re a roleplayer and you want a picture of your Dragonborn dude with glasses and a mohawk? That’s fine, you’re using it to give your imagination a pump, you’re using it to help your friends visualise what matters to you about your stuff. That’s fine! It’s not like you’re not making artistic choices when you do this, cycling through choices and seeing the one that works best for you. That’s not an action deprived of artistic choice!

There are also some things that are being labelled as ‘AI’ which seem to be more like something else to me. Particularly, there are software packages that resize images now, which are often calling it ‘AI upscaling,’ which it may be using some variety of these Midjourney style models to work, but which serves a purpose similar to sequences of resizes and selective blurs. There are also tools that can do things like remove people from the background of images, which is… good? It should be good and easy to get people out of pictures they didn’t consent to be in.

Things Generative Art Is Bad For

Did you know you don’t own copyright on generated art? This is pretty well established. If you generated the image, it’s not yours, because you didn’t make it. It was made by an algorithm, and algorithms aren’t people. This isn’t a complicated issue, this just means that straight up, any art you make at work that’s meant to be used for work, shouldn’t be used because people can just straight up use it. Logo design, branding, all that stuff is just immediately open for bootlegging or worse, impersonation.

Now you might think that’s a bit of a strange thing to bring up but remember, I’m dealing with students a lot. Students who want to position themselves as future prompt engineers or social media managers need to understand full well that whatever they make with these tools are not things that will have an enduring useful application. Maybe you can use it for a meme you post on an account, but it’s not something you can build branding off, because you don’t own it. Everyone owns it.

From that we get a secondary problem, because if you didn’t own it, its only use is what people say or think when they look at it, and thing is, people are already sick and tired of the aesthetics of generated art. You’re going to get people who don’t care glossing over it, and people who do care hating it. Generative art as a way of presenting your business or foregrounding your ‘vibes’ are going to think that your work is, primarily, ‘more AI art’ and not about what it’s trying to communicate. When the internet is already full of Slop, if you use these tools to represent your work, you are going to be turning your own work and media presence into slop.

What’s more, you need to be good at seeing mistakes if you’re using these tools. If you put some art out there that’s got an extra thumb or someone’s not holding a sword right, people will notice. That means you need to start developing the toolset above for fine-tuning and redrawing sections of artwork. Now, that’s not a bad thing! That’s a skill you can develop! But it means that the primary draw of these tools is going to be something that you then have to do your own original work over the top of.

The biggest reason though I recommend students not treat this work like it’s a simple tool for universal application is that it devalues you as a worker. If you’re trying to get hired for a job at a company and you can show them a bunch of generative art you’ve made to convince them that you’re available, all you are really telling them is that you can be replaced by a small script that someone else can make. Your prompts are not unique enough, your use of the tool not refined enough that you can’t just be replaced by anyone else who gets paid less. You are trying to sell yourself as a product to employers, and generative art replaces what you bring with what everyone brings.

They make you lazy! People include typos in the generative media because they’re not even looking at them or caring about what they say! And that brings me to the next point that there are just things these tools don’t do a good job doing, and that’s stuff I want to address next in…

Things That Are Interesting

Because the tools of generative art create a very impressive-seeming artistic output, they are doing it in a way that people want to accept. They want to accept them and that means accepting the problems, or finding a way to be okay with those problems. People who don’t care that much about typos and weird fingers and so on, because you know, it gets me a lot of what I want, but it doesn’t get me everything, and I don’t know how to get the everything.

If you generate an image and want to move something in it a little bit, your best way to do that is to edit the image directly. Telling the software to do that, again, but change this bit, this much, is in fact really hard because it doesn’t know what those parts are. It doesn’t have an idea of where they are, it’s all running on an alien understanding of nightmare horror imagery.

What that means is that people start to negotiate with themselves about what they want, getting to ‘good enough’ and learning how to negotiate with the software. My experiments with these tools led to me making a spreadsheet so I could isolate the terms I use that cause problems, and sometimes those results are very, very funny. In this, the tool teaches you how to use it (which most tools do), but the teaching results in a use that is wildly inappropriate to what the tool promises it’s for.

One of my earliest experiments was to take four passages from One Stone that described a character and just put that text straight into midjourney to see what it generated based on that plain text description. Turns out? Nothing like what I wanted. But when I treated it like say, I was searching for a set of tags on a booru system like danbooru or safebooru… then it was pretty good at that. Which is what brings me to the next stage of things, which is like…

These things were trained on porn sites right?

Like, you can take some very specific tags from some of the larger boorus and type them into these prompt sites and get a very reasonable representation of what it is you asked for, even if that term is a part of an idiolect, a term that’s specific to that one person in one space that’s become a repeated form of tag. Just type in an artist name and see if it can replicate their style and then check to see what kind of art that artist makes a lot of. This is why you can get a thing that can give you police batons and mirrored sunglasses just fine but if you ask for ‘police uniform’ you get some truly Tom of Finland kind of bulging stuff.

Conclusion

Nobody who dislikes generative art is wrong. I think there are definitely uses of it that are flat out bad, and I think it’s totally okay and even good to say so. Make fun of people who are using it, mock the shrimp jesuses, make it very clear you’re aware of what’s going on and why. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I do think that these tools are useful as toys, and I think that examining the art that they produce, and the art that the community around them are exalting and venerating tells us stuff. Of course, what they tell us is that there are a lot of people out there who really want porn, and there are just as many people who want the legitimisation of impressive seeming images that they don’t care about what those images are doing or what they’re for.

Now part of this defensiveness is also the risk of me being bitten. If I buy stock art that isn’t correctly disclosed as being generative art, then I might make and sell something using generative art and now I look like an asshole for not being properly good at detecting and hating ‘AI art,’ and when I’ve say, made a game using generative art that then is integrated into things like worldbuilding and the card faces, then it gets a lot harder to tear it out at the roots and render myself properly morally clean. I’m sure a bunch of the stock art I used before 2020 was made algorithmically, just pumped out slop that was reprocessing other formula or technical objects to fill up a free stock art site like Freepik.

Which is full of generative art now.

You won’t hurt yourself by understanding these things, and people who are using them for fun or to learn or explore are by no means doing something morally ill. There are every good reason to keep these things separated from anything that involves presenting yourself seriously, or using them to make money, though. If nothing else, people will look at you and go ‘oh, you’re one of those shrimp jesus assholes.’

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[solarmorrigan]

Tastes Better on You

For the @steddie-spooktober day 3 prompt: Apples Rated: T | Words: 736 | CW: None | Tags: established relationship, fluff, Steve Harrington and Dustin Henderson have a sibling relationship, modern AU, it barely matters though, it's mostly just so we can worry a little less about homophobia Divider credit: @steddiecameraroll-graphics

Cold weather agrees with Steve, Eddie thinks.

He stands back and takes a moment to appreciate it: the color in Steve’s cheeks, the sweater pulling snug across his shoulders, the way the breeze ruffles his hair. He stands at the edge of the pumpkin patch, arms crossed over his chest, a little smile on his face as he watches the kids pick the field over for victims to be carved later that afternoon. He’s limned perfectly in afternoon sunlight, golden and shining and beautiful.

And all Eddie’s.

Eddie shakes himself out of his reverie and heads back over with the spoils of his trip to the refreshment stand.

“Your drink, milord,” he blusters, holding a cup of hot cider up for Steve to take.

Steve blinks in surprise at the cup suddenly thrust into his field of vision before he takes it with a smile and a “thanks, babe,” further rewarding Eddie with a kiss on the cheek.

Eddie beams. He hadn’t wanted anything from the concession stand himself—he knows they’ll be roasting the pumpkin seeds later in the evening and he knows he’s going to eat a metric fuckton of them, so he might as well save room—but this right here is exactly why he’d volunteered to go get something for Steve. He settles back into place next to him and looks out over the field.

“Are you going to pick out a pumpkin, too?” Eddie asks.

Steve, caught mid-sip, hums and shrugs. “I don’t know,” he hedges once he’s swallowed. “I don’t really like cleaning them out, getting all that slimy shit on your skin. Feels weird.” He gives a theatrical little shudder, and Eddie grins.

Back in high school, everyone had been able to see the deliberate care Steve had put into his clean-cut appearance, but Eddie never would have guessed that he could be downright persnickety at times. He loves being privy to it.

“How about I help?” he offers. “I’ll deal with the slimy shit, and we can carve it together.”

Steve sends him a sidelong glance, cautious and considering; he’s still thrown sometimes by how genuine Eddie is in his interest, in his affection. He isn’t used to having people meet him halfway, but he’s getting there.

“We could do that, yeah,” he finally says, hiding his smile in another sip of cider. “This is really good, by the way, thanks.”

“The cider?”

“Mm,” Steve hums around the rim of the cup.

“Mind if I try some?” Eddie asks.

Shaking his head, Steve swallows and offers Eddie the cup. Eddie has other ideas.

He gently pushes the cup to the side and leans in, catching Steve’s mouth in a kiss. His tongue darts out, sweeping across Steve’s lips, and he tastes like crisp apples and warm spices and bright sunshine.

“You could’ve just tried some from the cup,” Steve murmurs when Eddie pulls back, even smiling as he is.

“Tastes better on you,” Eddie says, before pressing back in for another kiss.

Steve opens right up to him, and Eddie chases the taste of sweet-spiced apples right into his mouth. Steve’s free hand finds purchase on Eddie’s waist while Eddie reaches up to cup Steve’s jaw, tilting his head just so, searching for a better angle, when–

“Steve!” Dustin’s voice cuts across the field, pulling both Steve’s and Eddie’s focus from the kiss. “Quit sucking face and come help me with my pumpkin!”

Rollin his eyes, Steve huffs out a sigh and, regrettably, pulls away from Eddie.

“You want to stick a ‘please’ in there, Henderson?” he calls back.

“Please stop being gross,” Dustin snarks.

“What’s that?” Steve cups a hand behind his hear. “Sounds kind of like someone who doesn’t want help carrying their stupidly huge pumpkin.”

Dustin, stationed in front of what is truly a very large pumpkin, lets his head fall back with a groan. “Steve,” he intones, “will you please come help me with this pumpkin.”

“Yeah, alright,” Steve calls back. He turns to Eddie and presses the cup of cider into his hand. “I’ll be back. Pick a good one for us while I’m gone.” He pecks another kiss to Eddie’s cheek and sets off across the field.

Slowly, Eddie sips from the cup and watches as Steve and Dustin argue about the best way to get the pumpkin to the van, a smile and the taste of apples lingering on his lips.

[candycornfieldcookie]

hello and welcome to the “I am annoyed about something that really doesn’t matter and I’m going to yell about it on here because I can” show. This episode is called:

“Which Random CRK Intern Made This Graphic And Where Can I Find Them (I Just Want To Talk)”

For context, in case you’re a normal well-adjusted human, the image on the left was posted to the OFFICIAL ENG. CRK TWITTER ACCOUNT on Sept 30th last year. And just yesterday, I saw it for the first time and proceeded to yell over discord with my friend @cunt-removal about how stunningly, amazingly WRONG it is.

I’m aware this was probably slapped together by a social media team, based on vibes and nothing else, but fuck it I’m tearing it apart anyway. Because I can, and if you’re reading this voluntarily then it’s what you signed up for!

The image on the right summarises all my grievances with it, but if you want my more specific and detailed Thoughts™️, read on! (My version of this alignment chart is at the end)

Okay so starting with the most egregious one to me - WHAT exactly is Golden Cheese doing in Neutral?

She’s Good. SHE’S GOOD. PUT HER IN GOOD, YOU COWARDS. If Mr “Life’s Greatest Regret” over here gets to be a step down from Cookie Jesus himself (and believe me, we’ll get to you, CACAO) then Goldie should be ABOVE that. I won’t deny she’s Chaotic - her heroism and personal code is very unconventional, based on traits like greed and vanity which are often regarded as inherently bad, but which she uses for good. Plus she’s impulsive, willing to disregard safety and sensibility for what she believes is right. She’s Chaotic Good all the way.

A Neutral would not give Smoked Cheese a second chance after the shit he pulled (tbh HE’S the Chaotic Neutral one between them). A Neutral wouldn’t wake him up and immediately give him a responsibility to protect two other people’s lives. And - the one that really seals it for me - a Neutral would not THROW THE FIGHT AGAINST BURNING SPICE to protect the life of one singular random child she’d just met. Goldie is Chaotic Good and I will hear no argument.

And I especially resent the implication that Dark Cacao is morally better than her??? DARK CACAO?? Are you joking???

Listen I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I love that sad old man so much. Probably too much. And as such I feel qualified to say that HIS ASS IS NOT NEUTRAL GOOD. HE’S NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS.

He has a solid and immovable moral code, and he abides by it without flinching. And he’s a good person, more than capable of change for the better, but his flaws land him squarely in Neutral for me. And if we’re using Goldie as our metric, he’s definitely a step below her in terms of morality.

Let me put it like this.

If Goldie had a child, and that child grew up to betray her like Dark Choco did, she would never in a MILLION YEARS even DREAM of telling that child - to their face - that they are her life’s greatest regret. Not even on the spur of the moment, not even after being hurt the way Cacao was. No matter the context. (In fact I have a headcanon that she deeply disapproves of how Cacao handled that situation, even holding a bit of a grudge despite them being friends, but that’s a story for later.) Bottom line - if Goldie is in Good, Cacao’s in Neutral.

Put him in Lawful Neutral where he belongs, and then get my girl Caramel Arrow out of there because are you seriously telling me SHE’S Neutral? The same Carrow who’s willing to do anything, even lay down her life, to protect her King and her home? The Carrow who remained outspoken and just during Affogato’s takeover to the point of getting herself banished - and STILL not losing faith in Cacao? Somehow? She’s the one who should be in Neutral Good. Maybe even Lawful Good.

Hollyberry and Pitaya’s placements are… fine. I can see them as accurate. (Maybe I’m just not as in-depth about Pitaya’s character as some people, though, so if any Pitaya fans have a problem with their placement as True Neutral then lmk I would genuinely love to hear ur thoughts.)

Anyway, let’s talk about Affogato. Because… ehh? Maybe he’s Neutral Evil? I guess I could see it, but at the same time he strikes me as Lawful in the sense that he uses the structure of society to his advantage in order to ascend within it, manipulating people and situations to his advantage without technically breaking any laws - he feels much more Lawful Evil to me.

At the very least he’s more Lawful than MYSTIC FLOUR. Because whose bright idea was it to put her in that spot? What law is she following, exactly? I think it should be pretty common sense that NONE of the Beasts are Lawful, because of. you know. their entire existence as Beasts breaking the rules upon which they were created. Mystic’s ass isn’t Lawful, girl is Neutral Evil if there’s ever been one. Switch her with Affogato NOW.

So, long story short:

^my version

[author-a-holmes]

Hi, you mentioned having some resources for people considering Indie publishing? I would love to know more!

Hi! Yes!

So you mentioned not having a big budget, which was discouraging you from going the indie route, and I did a metric tonne of research before publishing Changeling, and came across a handful of really good, free resources so thought I could pass some along in case it's helpful!

The only thing I don't have a good, free, replacement for is an editor I'm afraid, but a robust series of self edits could work well, or possibly a kickstarter for the editing costs? Something to look into maybe.

If you do decide to run a kickstarter to cover your editing costs, I'd highly recommend the Facebook Group "Kickstarter for Authors", loads and loads of free advice can be found in there, but that's all I can really suggest since I've not run one myself.

When it comes to preparing a book for publication, however, I have a couple of helpful free or low-cost resources.

is Reedsy Book Formatter. Now, Reedsy recently updated their platform and pricing, so I just (24th May 2025) went in and checked if their formatter was still free to use. It is! You have to make a Reedsy account, or login with a Facebook or Gmail account. Additionally, there's lots of buttons suggesting their "paid features", which makes sense. However the formatter, and the ability to download your formatted manuscript either as a PDF (for Print Books aka Paperback or Hardcover) or an EPub (Ebooks) is still a free function. The only 'catch' to the Reedsy formatter is that, on the bottom of the Copyright Page, they will input something like "Formatted with Reedsy Free Formatter" or something along those lines. I don't remember exactly. I was on a bit of an ego trip when I was researching my debut novel, so that was a No-go for me and I saved up and paid for Atticus to format my books, but that's NOT budget friendly and runs about $147, but I digress. Once you HAVE a formatted Book File — and if it's a PDF for Paperback, you know how many pages your book will be, then next expense is going to be a Cover. You can make your own book cover, but unless you're (A) A graphic Designer and (B) have your thumb on the pulse of the book cover market in your genre, I wouldn't recommend it. What I would recommend is...

Getcover Design Services. Getcovers are a professional design company based in Ukraine, and they designed the cover for my Reader Magnet "Whatever Happened to Madeline Hail?" and my debut novel, "Changeling" (I'll put pictures of the covers below.) Getcovers has a sister company called Miblart, which charges a closer-to-market-average for their design services, although still cheaper than many designers. I have NO PROOF of the following statement, but I suspect the designers at Getcovers are new with the company, and being trained up, before they're moved over to Miblart. Again, I have no proof of this, it's only a suspicion on my part. And that's NOT to say I have any complaints over Getcovers quality. What I would say is that, being based in Ukraine, somethings a little bit of back and forth is required before the designer understands what you're looking for. (In one particularly memorable moment, I ended up doing a mockup in MSPaint, and that seemed to solve ALL communication issues lol) But, on the flip side, all of Getcovers cover design packages come with unlimited revisions, so as long as you have a bit of patience, they're well worth it. Which brings me to cost. Getcovers isn't free, of course, but in my humble opinion they might as well be. Getcovers will design an Ebook Only Cover for $10. They will design an Ebook & Paperback Cover for $20. They have a premium service, for detailed covers, which is a Ebook & Paperback for $35. If you want a Hardcover Design added on, that's an additional $10. It's not free, but you cannot buy a PREMADE cover for that price. It's a little bit insane. Getcovers over other design services as well, such as author branding (My author branding was developed by them as well), marketing materials, and merchandise design, but again, I digress.

Finally, uploading your files. You have self edited as best you can, you've formatted your book, and you have your cover files. Now, all that's left to do is upload the book for sale somewhere. This is, honestly, the easiest part. Draft2Digital is a free platform to upload your books. They are a distributor, which means they take a small cut of your royalties for doing all the labour of sending your book out to a dozen other storefronts, but for ease of use, and time saved, it's a negligable amount (10% if I remember correctly). KDP or Kindle Direct Publishing is basically Amazon. You CANNOT have more than ONE KDP account, so if you're not sure if you've made a KDP account before, I'd reach out to customer service and check if you have a KDP account linked to your Amazon account. They'll be happy to let you know if that's the case, before you try making a new account and end up in hot water. But, essentially, it's also free to upload your book to KDP. When it comes to your EBook on KDP you have a choice between exclusive and wide. If you want to upload your Ebook to other platforms like Draft2digital, you CANNOT put your Ebook into Kindle Unlimited (aka KU). This is because Amazon requires exclusive rights to your book, so if it's uploaded anywhere else, they'll kick up a fuss. I've never had my books in KU, I prefer to keep Changeling widely available so take this next part with a pinch of salt, but I THINK KU is a 90day rolling contract. So you can have your book in KU for 90 days, and then choose to go wide. It's more difficult to be Wide, and THEN go KU, because you have to pull your book from all storefronts and make sure it's not available anywhere before putting it back into KU. The only "Cost" of publishing on KDP is if you decide to have a paperback or hardcover book, and want them to print a physical proof copy. This is a recommended step to make sure the files all uploaded correctly, however it's not a requirement. And if you do decide to print a proof, it's not too expensive. I think Changeling, which is a 5.5x8.5 trim, 399 pages, usually costs me less than $12 If you decide to publish Wide, and no Exclusive to Amazon, then other storefronts I recommend uploading to directly, instead of through Draft2Digital are Barnes & Noble, Googlebooks, and Kobo. Itch.io is also free to upload to, and is beginning to pick up steam with Ebooks! You can also turn on tips, so people can choose to pay you more than the book price is set to. The only 'Downside' to Itch.io is that is has a minimum withdrawl cost, which I THINK is $10 before you can have it paid out to your paypal account. Again, I'm pulling those numbers from memory, so I might be off a little. But, essentially, you can publish an Ebook for as little as $10, and a paperback for as little as... what... $45? Tops? I know that's still a handful of cash, but it's much, much, more reasonable than initial research suggests when you start looking into it <3 I hope ANY of this helped!!

EDIT!! I forgot to add the covers for "Whatever Happened To Madeline Hail?" and "Changeling" for examples of Getcovers work!!

Whatever Happened To Madeline Hail is the reader magnet for my newsletter, so I only really needed an Ebook Cover. I could have just spent $10 on this, but I want to offer it as a paperback once the main trilogy is complete, so I decided to go for the full package $35. Mainly because I was VERY new and didn't know how many stock images the designer would need to bring my vision to life. In hindsight, and for future reader magnets, I'll probably settle with the $20 option.

Changeling is the cover of my debut novel, and I've lost count of how many compliments I've gotten for it. I chose the $35 bracket for this cover design, and I actually ordered the entire trilogy all at once, so I also have books 2 and 3 covers matching.

Since Changeling is available in Paperback and Hardcover, I paid an additional $10 for the Hardcover version, the picture below is the full wrap for the paperback...

And for Xmas my Dad gave me the extra I needed for Getcovers to make custom Title Pages based on the cover design. I don't have a picture of that immediately to hand, as they're on my laptop, but a screenshot from inside of my ebook file looks like...

[valkyrthra]

ᚾ ᛁ ᚦ

Alright félagar, kynslóð, sveit & hverrfleiri, There seems to be some ósœmd, FUCKED up, comments going around the community. SHOCKING I know. Most seem to be anons.

-Side note, you at the AAA ( anon anonymous allegiance) you're fine, this is not about you.

I, Naki of @valkyrthra, declare a nið, challenge those who have been picking ᚾᛁᚦ apart my friends, family & community here on tumblr. A nið, in old Norse / Viking culture, was a declaration of a Flyting Senna. Let's see how good your knowledge is to pick a part people's knowledge of the Sagas, stories, lore & mythos fairs again me, since you seem so proud of your knowledge of the Norse Mythologies that you feel the need to come on to other's blogs & nitpick minor details. Details that you corrected that didn't needed correcting, factually, regardless of IF the muse was altered for someone's own universe that you have ZERO say in. You in the cases that I am aware of, you have been factually WRONG.

-Flyting for those who do not know. Flyting or fliting (Classical Gaelic: immarbág, Irish: iomarbháigh, lit. "counter-boasting") is a contest consisting of the exchange of insults between two parties, often conducted in verse. (Wiki) Or in other words a battle of wits & insults using poems. In other words, & this is NOT my words but still describes it pretty well, its a Viking Rap battle.

Okay by the rules flyting, I have declared a challenge, now to issue ᚠᛚᛁᛏᛁᛜ the terms. The rules of the dual are

That it has to be poetry done in HISTORICAL Viking metrical principles, but in English.

It has to rhyme at least every other half line.

Insults to each other are accepted & in the true spirit of flyting is encouraged.

You can keep your anon status, my anons will be off, but you will be considered dishonorable by Viking cultural rules. If you chose to stay on anons then I will be posting the responses. You may do the same.

We will each do one Ljóðaháttr (ᛚᛃᛟᚦᚨᚺᚨᛏᛏᚱ), song meter, consisting of two sets of 3 lines but the first two lines are half lines. Below is clippet of the Lokesanna from the Eddas as an example of what I am describing. Thorpe's Translation Lokesenna 1a.) Hail, Æsir! 1.b.) Hail, Asyniur! 2a.) And ye, all-holy gods! 2.b.) all, save that one man, 3a.) who sits within there, 3b.)Bragi, on yonder bench x2

Those are my terms, if you so accept.

Behold the Ergi anon, ᛖᚱᚷᛁ Speaking where they should not.

When this Sigyn's heritage is gone, An Asian faceclaim you for fought.

For all of this I hope you do not spawn, Passing on a fool's genes shouldn't be sought.

Next let me call out & fight, The supposed errors in spelling,

The name of the god of beauty & light, Being questioned is pretty telling.

To make yourself feel at your height, Every minor incorrect detail are you dwelling.

There WILL be more to come, with or without response from those that I challenged. That all being said....

COME AT ME!!!!!!

i'LL BE WAITING

Mutuals may interact & reblog. I want this to get back to whom it may concern. [Graphics & edits smithed by @galdrameistari & myself.]

[lectern-fullcauldron]

the thing about joe hills, at least for me, is that once you're accustomed to Joe's streams, no other streaming style is compatible.

let me explain. Joe, last I heard, has over 4000 unread messages from people asking to be unbanned. the ban hammer falls heavy, the ban hammer falls firm.

the angriest I've ever heard Joe was during a section where he stopped playing minecraft to give an extended speech about the importance of no platforming facists, about recognising dogwhistles, and making sure the community he's built is protected from those that could harm it.

Joe mods his own streams - except on special occasions where he'll pay a moderator to look after chat when Joe is busy.

and because Joe is self modding, the stream often moves with chat. Joe reads what we say, and because he has both discord and YouTube chats (rip twitch chat), he'll read aloud messages for different chats to hear. and so you learn names in Joe's chat. you say howdy to regulars (or ahoy) and the chat moves slow enough to say howdy back.

there is no spamming in Joe Hills' chat. No all caps. No strings of emojis. Chat moves slowly, and legibly so that we can read and consider and talk to one another.

The rules are engraved on the doors to the chat, and we all know them, once we've been there long enough. And they're good rules. Incredibly good rules. people who break them are often timed out so that they can read the rules and consider where they messed up before trying again.

One rule I appreciate most is the one that bans mentions of like counts, or view counts. The stream ethos is to not get neurotic about numbers, to not make Joe neurotic about youtube metrics that make no financial impact.

I cannot be in a stream, now, where the streamer is obsessed with their view count, and says things like 'im not starting till we have five hundred likes on the stream or I have a hundred thousand subscribers.' I can't do it.

the Joe Hills community is the place I've felt most comfortable on the internet. It is a space that you can tell is over ten years in the making. Joe has consistently made choices about his YouTube career that conform to the ethics he voices.

His stream has no 'real' dynamic overlay so that people can know they don't have to commission graphics and music and alerts to be a successful streamer. He often has a microphone out of his office window so that we can hear the birds singing. His camera grows and the abacus beads clack whilst the beetlejhost suit waits just out of sight.

Joe Hills is filmed before a live streaming audience (that's us!)

[kisu-doodles]

CW: for graphic depictions of scurvy in the fourth pic and a metric butt-ton of blood in the fifth pic! Some lil shots from the mutiny animatic plus some small concept doodles, Odysseus looking a lil wild and crazy trying to convince Eurylochus that they're close to home like gurl! also in the fifth pic the guy is rubbing the scurvy dude's throat to help him swallow

[illogicalkat]

Okay I'm showing off a little today

I recently got back into fanbinding, and discovered the joy of making quartos. As you might guess from the names, these are one-fourth the size of a sheet of letter paper, or about 5.5"x4.25" (if you're a metric person, the equivalent is A6).

Friends, these are perfect for novelettes and novellas. They wind up being anywhere from 50-175 pages, they're easy to hold, and they fit in your pocket. Plus, the covers are small enough that I am able to print single-sheet covers for them, rather than needing to use bookcloth.

So let's see how many I can squeeze in here before Tumblr tells me I have too many photos.

(here they are, sitting on my bookshelf, just like regular books!)

This is raggedyred's All in Good Time, which is a fantastic SpiderStrange fic in which certain heroes start developing hanahaki disease. I just finished binding this yesterday. It's 13,500 words, which wound up as 90 pages. And you can read the fic on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/63318112

Okay this is The Bigger the Lie (The Harder the Fall) by theoaktreeghost. It's Dick/Clark, and ngl Dick is going through some shit (although let's be real, when is he not?). I am seriously in love with those end papers, I found the photo for them and the cover image on Unsplash. This was the first fanbind that I used a graphic for section breaks, and I absolutely love how it turned out. The fic is almost 26k words, which worked out to 164 pages.

I am still amazed that I got the spine placement so perfect.

The fic is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/44817118

And, yes, I did fanbind my own fic! Because it's fun to have this on my bookshelf. This was the first fanbind where I used graphics for end papers - if you've read it, you know this story takes place in Washington, DC, and the vintage map felt right for this. Again, the cover image is from Unsplash. The fic is 17k words and the book is 125 pages, and you can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41478240/chapters/104019975

Happy Lost-An-Hour day to everyone who is forced to observe it!

[oblivionbladetd]

Learning from Lorch (and hazcrit): Very Reasonable Demands.

Seeing as hazcrit is doing to Sai exactly what Sai pointed out that they are doing to vivzie, I feel now is a good time for this post. For what is Hazcrit other than SUcrit that was reheated in the desk microwave? The desk microwave of none other than Lily Orchard, of course! Memes aside, the SU is garbage vid was a prized by the SUcrit community and like... that says a lot more than it should.

Now, to preface my ensuing info dump, one question I ask myself in the myriad of questions I use to formulate my critique is, "How could I have done this better?" Though not as what I am currently. I am an independent hobbyist writer with no oversight, no team to manage, no deadlines, the full script of Steven Universe, nearly a decade of knowledge about every shortcoming and controversy both intentionally and not, and most of all no financial or creative incentives to reach as many people as humanly possible. Could I make a better Steven Universe special for me with all that in my pocket? Short answer: yeh. Long answer: Of fucking course I could, stupid. Rebecca and vivzie had few to none of these benefits. In fact, they had about the opposite in most ways. I'll admit that they are still 6/10 shows because this is by far from the only metric, but what many of the crits seem to think are the most important.

Now, I could bring up the infamous lines of SU is garbage where Lily calls the show both not gay enough and too gay, but I feel like pointing that out has been both been done better by others, and is Lazy since even in Lily's own words those statements are from an embittered lily a decade ago... so I brought this!

Lightly edited, but I am not watching the video to get the unedited one. Either way on the surface, this shit doesn't seem to be a tall ask, but you know your boy will break it down clean how it really is, step by step.

1. Must be a healthy relationship. Doesn't sound like a tall ask at all, right? Let's just hope that the story isn't about say, I dunno, working on a relationship at all. Or in a setting where maintaining a healthy relationship might be hard.... I'd bring up that not every person has the same definition of healthy, but there's a lot of these to chew through.

2. Needs to be human/human adjacent. Well, there goes any story about being loved for who you are and not what you look like, right out with the bathwater. Also what about two monsters and/or aliens being gay? I know that's not the point,but that's why we word carefully.

3. Relationships must be present before finale. Doable.... unless you are doing something where them meeting is far more fun and tumultuous than when they get steady. So, like... many sitcoms, romcoms, and a lot of romance in general. Like this is one of the most doable, but the amount you can miss out on is quite humbling.

4.No burying. I know she means the trope bury your gays, but I will point out that this clobbers tragedy with a steel chair.

5. MUST be main characters. So, no solo adventures. Honestly, this isn't the worst either, but I do love the implication that side characters just do not count anymore. Nobody likes characters that don't have top billing anyway, I'm sure.

6. No pussyfooting. I see what she means, but as somebody that can see past my own nose, this catches stories about closeted gays or any sexual awakening stories in the crossfire easy.

7. It's hard to define, but I'm going to interpret that any lore reasoning, positive or negative, affecting the character's relationship is bad. Which... oof to any high fantasy.

It's not fucking impossible, but just look at what is left on the table after this!

Now, if you are like Lily, a hobbyist vignette writer. It's not that hard. Incredibly doable. Easy work even!... but we now have to add conditions.

Take whatever vignette you cooked up. And now it needs to be a full product. 300+ page book, 26 episode show, respectability sized graphic novel, whatever poison you desire. I still think it could be done, but if you put a gun to my head, my confidence in anything I just planned sunk like a tungsten cube through air.

So let's do that metaphorically! That is how the industry works, after all. You gotta sell this idea to a guy whose only God is the almighty dollar. Unshakable if you can't convince them that publishing your crap is worth the investment. Like shit it ain't even have to be gay anymore. Knock the rep off, and that's still a BIG ask. I wouldn't say it just isn't possible. I just know anything I came up with initially certainly isn't something I'd pay for.

This is a statement I tend to blanket over the haz and SU crit when I see it. More often than not, they are asking for things that only sound reasonable in hindsight, or if it was an independent production that answers to no-one, or it just wasn't your speed and that's somehow not your problem... Nothing less than the vision of perfection that's specifically in my head? Right?

That's why I tend to believe Sai when she calls it misogyny. I've seen male creators do worse to DEAFENING silence. Was SU perfect? Obviously not. Was it good enough to communicate some heavy stuff to its audience of 14-17 year Olds? You betcha. Is Hazbin that great? Not incredible, but I'd argue it's better than 80% of adult animation currently being made.

But hey, I'm pretty sure there's a term for tying a less than perfect woman to a poll and burning them.

[fearfulfertility]

CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM

DRC, Black Ops Command, Covert Acquisition Unit

To: Director [REDACTED]

From: Administrator [REDACTED], Covert Acquisition Unit

Date: [REDACTED]

Subject: Surrogate Recruitment via Social Media Application

Executive Summary

This memorandum summarizes the initial pilot testing of "Broodr," a mobile dating application developed by the DRC Covert Acquisition Unit as an identification and capture tool of viable surrogate candidates within the Los Angeles metropolitan region.

The Broodr pilot program aims to:

Test effectiveness in luring suitable surrogate candidates aged 18-25.

Assess the app’s capability to profile and locate high-fertility individuals discretely.

Evaluate the overall success rate of transitioning online interactions into physical capture operations.

Operational Procedure

Broodr was launched covertly through standard digital app distribution channels. It is marketed as a casual social/dating application targeted at young, romantically single men. Four other apps in the market were also disrupted to reduce competition and increase public awareness. The application utilizes advanced profile analytics to identify users displaying surrogate-compatible traits based on fertility indicators such as age, athletic status, height, genetic background, and health metrics.

Once identified, candidates receive targeted messaging from AI bots and doctored profiles using altered photos of athletes and models designed to entice them to designated physical meeting locations. These meeting spots are strategically placed within zones easily secured by DRC rapid response capture teams.

Initial Test Results

Since the pilot launch [REDACTED] weeks ago, Broodr has attracted over [REDACTED] registered users within the target demographic.

[REDACTED]% of identified high-value targets initiated interactions leading to physical meetings.

Capture success rate currently stands at [REDACTED]%, exceeding initial operational goals.

Captured surrogates demonstrate above-average fertility rates, with an average fetal load of 12-16 embryos upon initial insemination.

Key Incident

On [REDACTED], Broodr successfully identified, seduced, and facilitated the capture of a high-profile fitness celebrity at our DRC detainment site in [REDACTED], Beverly Hills.

Mr. [REDACTED], a 23-year-old fitness influencer known for his muscular physique, extensive social following, and endorsements of health products, was identified as a prime surrogacy candidate due to exceptional fertility markers (5'11", 174 lbs pre-pregnancy, optimal athletic conditioning). 

Four real profiles and 28 tailored AI-generated profiles initially contacted him, depicting attractive, athletic personas that closely matched his profile's interests. This sophisticated digital interaction rapidly evolved into sexually graphic exchanges, successfully convincing him to attend what he believed to be a home address for a physical engagement.

“Hey, handsome ;)  Hott as fuck! A stud like you promising an unforgettable night got me seriously curious. What are you into? I would love to work out all your kinks, physical and sexy!” - Copy of Chat Log

Upon arrival at the designated location, a rapid response team swiftly and discreetly apprehended Mr. [REDACTED]. Upon completion of on-site insemination, secured transport protocols were immediately enacted, moving Mr. [REDACTED] to the nearby Paternity Compound 141, best equipped for his subsequent gestation, birth, and expiration. Mr. [REDACTED] was assigned the surrogate ID S-141-548-P (which will be used henceforth to identify the surrogate).

Post evaluations confirmed highly successful insemination, resulting in an exceptionally high fetal load of sexdecuplets (16 embryos), and in under 33 days, S-141-548-P's weight jumped to 534 lbs (+360 lbs) with an abdominal circumference of 96 inches (+64 inches), rendering the surrogate wholly bedridden and dependent on continuous medical supervision. Despite his extreme size and rapidly declining mobility, regular medical evaluations confirmed that S-141-548-P's health remained within acceptable operational parameters.

"I can barely process what's happened—my body’s unrecognizable. I used to flex these abs for millions online, and now they're buried beneath a mound of babies. I'm so enormous and heavy that breathing feels like a workout! I never thought I'd feel this helpless—or this big." - S-141-548-P, Gestation Day 21

Labor commenced on day 33 of gestation, and over 22 hours, all 16 fetuses were successfully delivered. Upon completion of delivery, vital signs deteriorated rapidly, culminating in S-141-548-P’s expiration approximately [REDACTED] minutes after the last fetus was expelled. Post-mortem assessments indicated complete [REDACTED] shutdown, extensive [REDACTED] to the [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] system. 

"I can't stop it! They’re coming! Everything's ripping apart, and every contraction feels like my belly's splitting open. Oh God—I can’t move, I can't breathe, but my body... I'm just so... fat…" - S-141-548-P, Gestation Day 33

Of particular note is that S-141-548-P was well known on social media channels for exemplifying his abdominal muscles, mainly using the moniker “All Core, No Compromise.” The primary cause of expiration was confirmed to be the macroscopic tearing and rupture of all abdominal muscles, a typical result for surrogates subjected to such high fetal loads.

Recommendations

The capture and subsequent pregnancy of such a notable public figure not only significantly boosted internal operational morale but also underscored the strategic efficacy of Broodr as an unprecedented method of securing high-value surrogate candidates. This incident has provided robust proof-of-concept evidence, strongly supporting further investment and nationwide deployment of the Broodr initiative.

Based on the Los Angeles pilot:

Expand Broodr's implementation to additional high-density urban areas (e.g., New York City, [REDACTED], San Francisco).

Increase application analytics capabilities to enhance fertility trait profiling.

Implement additional security protocols to ensure continued operational secrecy.

Conclusion

The pilot deployment of Broodr in the Los Angeles metro area confirms the application's high efficacy as a discreet surrogate recruitment and capture tool. Expansion into additional metropolitan zones is recommended to bolster surrogate conscription efforts further nationwide.

Prepared by: Assistant Director [REDACTED]

DRC, Black Ops Command, Covert Acquisition Unit

----------------

Click Here to return to DRC Report Archives

[the-font-bandit]

Ok ok I have more to say about Dragon Age, audience expectations, creativity, and art as a product.

Buckle in.

Now I'm speaking as a writer who published their first book in 2024.

Ok, traditionally-published "can find it in bookstores" book in 2024. I do have self-pub stuff from earlier, and I still love those books but marketing is different for those, so we're focusing on the more mass-marketed stuff for this post.

(I promise, this is gonna circle back to Bioware and Dragon Age, stick with me).

Right now, I'm having a problem with submitting my new work to publishers.

Why?

It's different from the first book. The Longest Autumn (2024 book) is atmospheric, a bit literary, melancholy and mythological and bittersweet.

The new stuff I'm pitching? Deeply gothic, gory, and kinda horror.

People know me for the poignancy and lilting prose of The Longest Autumn. Where is all that? Why the blood, the darker themes, the dread?

This, I think, was what I most deeply loved about Dragon Age, but also what ultimately doomed the franchise.

Each game experimented. They tried things! Unexpected things! Some that succeeded, some less so.

Origins had an intriguing world and lore, and incredibly compelling character writing, but was otherwise a pretty standard RPG for the time.

Dragon Age 2 had some gameplay flaws (mostly from its development crunch) but had a more unique art style, a complicated, messy story, and an ambitious structure covering 10 years in Hawke's story.

Inquisition updated the elements once more, and yet again updated and refined the art style. The gameplay itself was a bit more standard for its time, but still had the deep character work fans had come to love, if a bit less bleak than DA2.

Then comes Veilguard. The art style is bright, clean, almost shiny. The morally-gray grit of DA2 is gone. The characters interact differently than in previous games. They bicker less, over more trivial things. Everything is more streamlined, more optimistic. The gameplay mechanics were tweaked yet again.

And I think this is where Dragon Age both appeals to me in a very compelling way, but also loses that big swath of general gamers that they needed to make those bonkers EA sales goals.

In a broad-scope AAA game series like Call of Duty, you know what you're getting from game to game. Upgrades, tweaks, graphics updates, streamlining, but generally a similar experience.

Even something like Fallout can utterly change gameplay mechanics from game to game, but not tone.

Dragon Age committed the unforgivable sin of experimenting too much. Of straying away from "the brand". Even if, for me (and I think many of their biggest fans), the brand was always about interesting world lore and brilliant character work, those weren't the core for everyone.

When art becomes a product, it becomes "a brand". Sales matter. Audience retention matters. Metrics and profit & loss statements.

It's no longer creative expression. It's business.

And that's where Dragon Age failed, and also why, as a writer, I'll love it forever.