#middle support autism

[sunkern-plus]

tfw middle support autistic who isn’t allowed to have their own opinions, dress the way they want, have the hairstyle they want, watch the media they want, or do anything an adult can do without people freaking out because i *checks notes* have the critical thinking, cognitive skills, and emotional maturity of an elementary schooler at best supposedly

[spooksforsammy]

Autism is disability. Autism is disability. Autism is disability. Autism is disability

If autism doesn’t disable you, then most likely not autism. By definition, it disables or impair your day to day life. Doesn’t matter how big or little, is disabled.

Can call autism neurotype. But if say only neurotype and not disability, then you erase experiences, especially of those with medium/ high support needs and level2/level 3 ASD

Autism is disability. Always has been, always will. Stop saying isn’t one. Wrong wrong wrong when say!

[disabledbutchblues]

able-bodied neurotypical people want quiet disability. invisible disability. they love it when we don’t complain and don’t shove our needs in their face. they love it when we stay home and die quietly instead of trying to live (but they don’t like it when we stay home and need caregivers).

[paragraph about self then next ones on more general and important things] i recently realized that i make many people uncomfortable irl because i talk about my symptoms. i wasn’t aware it was wrong, because i’m autistic and struggle a lot with notions of public vs private space, and what can be said to whom. i’m very open about my disabilities and struggles, both because i don’t realize i’m saying something i shouldn’t, and because i don’t have a choice and often can’t mask (i am not high masking. not low masking either tho). i don’t wear unnoticeable noise cancelling headphones, they’re not good enough for me at all, i wear big obvious ear defenders with a fluorescent part. i sit down on the floor of a store if my legs hurt. i don’t sit normally anywhere, including at school, because i can’t, i can’t sit correctly and not move, it’s painful. i don’t hesitate to tell people i have terrible executive dysfunction. i openly say i am in pain and need to rest, even if it’s abnormal for a teenager to not have a healthy strong body. when it seems relevant to the conversation, i share the fact that i struggled with an eating disorder and self harm and that i recovered/am recovering. when someone asks me how i am doing, i tell them i’m feeling terrible because i am in pain or because i am suicidal or because i am overwhelmed— this is partly a choice to be open about my disability, partly the fact that i don’t notice until it’s too late that they don’t want me to be honest, and party the fact that there are many things i cannot hide. i tell people that i am not independent, can’t cook, can’t go to new places alone, can’t shop, can’t maintain hygiene and that i don’t shower enough or brush my teeth regularly. when someone asks if i plan on learning how to drive i say that i don’t want to right now because my processing issues would be dangerous and i would get in an accident. i tell people i have meltdowns and shutdowns at school. i hit myself in public sometimes.

yet i am not visibly disabled. i’m very lucky and privileged within the disabled community. i am visibly weird and there is visibly something wrong with me but i am only visibly disabled to someone who spends some time with me and sees me unable to process informations or unable to do IADLs. strangers don’t know i’m disabled until i tell them— they mock a symptom or ask why i can’t do something and i say i’m autistic, i’m disabled, i’m in pain. and they already hate that i tell them. they say it’s private. they say my struggles are something personal. something to talk about with doctors but that no one else should have to know about.

some people are way more disabled than me, visibly disabled, disabled at first glance. some use mobility aids, full time or not. some have intellectual disabilities, some use an AAC device, some have a physical disability that cannot be concealed or an intellectual/developmental/mental disability that very obviously affects the way they move or communicate. some people don’t have a choice to mask or not to mask, don’t have a choice to be visibly disabled or not. strangers will immediately notice that these people are disabled, even without engaging in a conversation with them. and they hate it ! disabled people are supposed to be quiet and invisible and going outside with ear defenders or a mobility aid or anything, no matter if it is a small or a huge accommodation, is too much. but the bigger it is or the more you need help to do a ‘basic, easy’ thing, the worse it is. they stare at me in the street because of my ear defenders, but they don’t just stare when someone is in a wheelchair, they touch and break and don’t have any respect.

ableists think disabled people shouldn’t be in their way because they think we shouldn’t exist or that we are worthless. having an accommodation or an aid in public is already activism for them, already disturbing, already forcing them to see that they are privileged and that the world is not accessible.

to exist as a disabled person is beautiful. it’s brave. it’s something to be proud of. not because it’s inspiring that you are strong enough to live with your disability, not because "someone else would have killed themselves already in your situation," not because "i could never be like that ! you’re so courageous !", but because ableism is everywhere and it’s so hard to live in this world where they don’t want us to exist. it’s so hard to advocate for ourselves.

and for those who are not visibly disabled (like me), or at least not always ; for those who have low support needs ; for those who know how to mask : point out inaccessibility. force people to see their own ableism. make them uncomfortable. it’s also our job, our responsibility. if someone mocks me and calls me useless because i can’t do IADLs i say i’m disabled, stay very calm and inform them that many people are unable to perform BADLs without help and that they deserve just as much help and respect as anyone else. if someone points out how annoying my ear defenders are i ask why the place isn’t accessible for people in a wheelchair. etc etc. listen to people with higher support needs than you and amplify their voices. but also act irl.

we can all do better and force society to be better to.

and remember that accessibility for you doesn’t mean accessibility for everyone.

a place that accommodates sensory issues might not have accessible toilets. so it’s not good enough. an autism support group meeting has stim toys and ear defenders and happens in a quiet place ? that’s wonderful ! can a nonverbal person participate ? are caregivers welcome ? we can’t just think that "something is better than nothing." yes it is, but it’s not good enough. if a place or an event is accessible for one thing but not for something else, then it’s not accessible. and we need to be loud about it.

[autisticdreamdrop]

it's a "visible" disability for a lot of mid to high support needs autistics but same for the autistics who have it as in "invisble" disability. we are all autistic. we are all valid.

[sicksadstar]

Since we are a mid to high support level system shoutout to the autistics that :

• can't clean themselves correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

• can't wipe correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

• have a hard time dressing yourself (+ too scared to ask for help)

• have to be reminded to bathe

• have to be reminded to wash your hair

• have to be reminded to eat

• have to be reminded to brush your teeth

• have accidents

• wet the bed

• don't have great hygiene

[dreamdropsystem]

Since we are a mid to high support level system shoutout to the autistics that :

can't clean themselves correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

can't wipe correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

have a hard time dressing yourself (+ too scared to ask for help)

have to be reminded to bathe

have to be reminded to wash your hair

have to be reminded to eat

have to be reminded to brush your teeth

have accidents

wet the bed

don't have great hygiene

[sunkern-plus]

i put myself down too much literally just for traits that come from being too autistic to do things like draw really well/other traits that come with good motor skills, have near perfect social skills, masking, and functioning in daily life but not autistic enough to not do education

[transbutchbluess]

me : sharing an experience caused by my disabilities and explaining how able-bodied and neurotypical people have no idea how many things they are able to do and how many things are necessary in life because for them it’s easy/instinctive. adding that i’m extremely concerned because they often believe that i, a mostly able-bodied person (struggling with some chronic pain and fatigue but not needing mobility aids or anything like that) with neurodevelopmental disabilities, low/lower middle support needs, who struggle with all iADLs but no BADL, "cannot do anything at all" when i am actually very privileged in the disabled community so i worry about how they perceive people with higher support needs than me. explaining that me not being independent and being unable to do iADLs is far from being the most disabling thing out there, since many people cannot do any BADLs without help. using the comments "that’s not autism anymore you’re just completely unable to do anything" and "so you’re collecting every single disability right, there’s nothing you can do independently at all, that’s so hard for your caregivers/family" as the starting point to explain that.

random people : yes comments like these are so annoying !! people tell me "but you’re always tired/in pain" or "it’s not that bad" !! it impacts me a lot it’s awful

me : guys. that was not what i was talking about. ableist comments are bad and they also impact me negatively but the point here was material impact on life, how abled people do not have an understanding of abilities / disabilities and how that results in harming or neglecting disabled people.

[disabledbutchblues]

so so so proud !!!! survived without mother (caregiver) almost 24h without other adult caregiver. first time. with few friends/teenagers (5). not do much, let them cook organize etc (feel bad about this), not shower or clean because no energy, did cry a lot, isolate, feel bad, almost almost meltdown but calmed down !! and 5h sleep. unfamiliar place some unfamiliar people (1 friend other almost strangers) no true caregiver. very proud ! is so much for me. really much.

[autisticdreamdrop]

Since we are a mid to high support level system shoutout to the autistics that :

can't clean themselves correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

can't wipe correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

have a hard time dressing yourself  (+ too scared to ask for help)

have to be reminded to bathe

have to be reminded to wash your hair

have to be reminded to eat

have to be reminded to brush your teeth

have accidents

wet the bed

don't have great hygiene

[supercantaloupe]

i'm so stuck on whatever the opposite of fast fashion is. i will wear the same four pairs of socks daily for 10 years straight until they've worn through completely and even then i'll be like "but i don't really want to get new ones :("

[sicksadstar]

Since we are a mid to high support level system shoutout to the autistics that :

• can't clean themselves correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

• can't wipe correctly (+ too scared to ask for help)

• have a hard time dressing yourself (+ too scared to ask for help)

• have to be reminded to bathe

• have to be reminded to wash your hair

• have to be reminded to eat

• have to be reminded to brush your teeth

• have accidents

• wet the bed

• don't have great hygiene

[bee-ina-boat]

Being a middle support needs autistic is. Is weird.

My neeeds are always changing and i constantly feel like I'm not autistic enough because i don't experience certain things that others do. That just because the situation I'm in right now accomodates for me to have my alone time and take care of myself it feels like I'm not even middle support needs because i don't feel like I'm struggling 24/7

But that's not TRUE. the situation I'm in, my family takes care of most of the basics in the house. If i was put in an apartment on my own? I would not at all be able to live. My work is babysitting a couple of kids for only a small amount of time every week day where my mom isn't too far away and that's IT. I tried working a regular customer service job and i barely had to do anything and i still quit within the first 3 days because i couldn't do it. I literally couldn't freaking stand in a store making sure the shelves of a tiny area are neat for a small amount of time without having a meltdown in the bathroom.

I can't leave the house alone. I struggle with communication ALOT even though I can physically talk. my motor skills and spatial awareness suck ass. my brain is so so slow for most things and struggles to retain information or remember basic things. The only reason I passed highschool was because i was online schooled and i CHEATED. everyday tasks and keeping schedules feel impossible sometimes

And i have all these struggles etc. but i feel like i constantly have to justify my problems to myself. It feels like my brain is always downscaling what i experience because there are others who have it worse. But that's NOT HOW IT WORKS. Others who are higher support needs then me existing doesn't mean i have no problems!!!!

I'm so afraid that I'm gonna get told "youre not middle support needs." Because im polite during conversations (even though half the time i space out or say weird things or struggle to even put a sentence together) or because i wasn't diagnosed as a kid (despite missing the context that i WAS visibly autistic as a kid. My doctors just thought it was anxiety. Also afabs are less likely to get diagnosed anyway) or because "i don't look autistic" (what does that even mean??)

I'm just. Now that I've accepted i need this amount of support. I'm reaching a point where everytime someone shares there experience I'm just like "Im not as disabled as them so that means I'm not middle support needs" but it's a spectrum!!!! And everyone experiences different parts of it differently and i DONT KNOW why my brain can't accept that!! hHH

:[ bleh i wish my brain wasn't so mean sometimes ngl

Anyway if anyone else does experience this stuff, just know that while it's hard for us to accept. We are valid and we always will be..you deserve to get the support and help you need and if anyone tells you your experiences are lesser I'm gonna kick em, ilu

[sunkern-plus]

idk if this would make sense but would it make sense to describe yourself as a middle support autistic if you’re verbal and probably only in between level 1 and level 2? like i know i’m not high support autistic but i don’t relate to low support/level 1 autistic people either especially late diagnosed autistic afab people

idk i just feel out of place with low support/level one autistics but i don’t know if i count as middle support because i’m closer to a 1.5 than a 2 level wise

[lon333ly-girl]

Although it seems I’ve gotten better, I can be violent too

[disabledbutchblues]

annoying autism dad or whatever just told me i wasn’t autistic after talking to me/my mother for 10 min about my medical history. and i was there for mobility aid things too so he’s trained in disability stuff i think. also said i wasn’t epileptic (true) and all autistics people were. which is like. full misinformation.

he tried to say since i can communicate i can have autistic traits but not autism. again i know my privilege, i’m level 1 in communication (2 in behaviors). still middle support needs tho. not even like most LSN autistics who talk and are independent. i talk very well i’m lucky. his son probably struggles a lot more than me and i can acknowledge that. but my autism still means i need a lot of accommodations, can’t stay alone for a day, can’t cook, need regular help/prompts to shower, can’t work nor drive right now, so need so much help with all IADLs and some help/prompting with some BADLs for now. i’m recognized as autistic by the disability services in my country. how is this not being disabled i don’t understand