#might do more in better conditions if anyone likes this concept lmao

[switchyfox]

@gcat01 suggested that I record the "thank you for fucking me megamix" in French but they couldn't translate it literally and they didn't even keep a swear word for it (booo), so I recorded this bit instead (the only one with the swear).

[notashadowbutawave]

i almost posted this on the true detective subreddit episode thread but thought better of it:

I've gotta say… I feel like a lot of complaints people are having about this season of the show don't pass muster objectively when held up against Season 1. Melodrama, "unrealistic" dialogue, complaining about being shown too much about people's personal lives and not caring about the characters…

There is so much unrealistic dialogue in season 1. The way Marty and Rust during their video interviews just come in talking about some big philosophical idea or "life wisdom" nugget in the middle of the episode (nobody talks like that IRL). The scene with Marty's daughter and the princess crown, for example. Marty cheating on his wife multiple times isn't like, objectively "more interesting" than Evangeline's sister having mental health issues or Liz being sexually promiscuous and a mess.

I've seen season 1 probably 10 times and I adore it but a lot of the angry comparisons people are making to S1 kind of just come off as straight up misogyny at a certain point. Like it rubs people the wrong way because it's women. Complaining about Liz and Evangeline going to the dredge without backup but when Rust and Captain America Marty Hart do something like that it's believable?

I don't think anyone's obligated to like the season by any means but you can just say you aren't feeling it as opposed to trying to make these apples-to-apples comparisons to season 1 that really don't hold water; I think people are just a lot more willing to accept this type of storytelling when it's about men and kind of has a fetishization/shame angle with masculinity in general. Like S1 is very masculine but it's also a love story. idk. I'm gay so I should probably stick to Tumblr for talking about this show, ya'll are wild.

----

idk watching people who are probably white dudes complain on Reddit that we are seeing too much "native culture" on the show strikes me as really icky.

i recognize that these are reddit comments and not like, actual media criticism but i think it says a lot about how people are conditioned to understand storytelling in general. like there's still so much fucking misogyny and white supremacy in our mainstream media and i realize a lot of people wouldn't say it out loud but i think they genuinely just find it exhausting that they're being asked to contemplate the interior lives of native alaskans and women by watching this show lmao

(that's not a value judgment about how well it is doing at depicting  Iñupiat culture because i'm not the person who gets to make that judgment but it REALLY rubs me the wrong way that people can't STAND even seeing it depicted)

(i think the fetishization of the American south also has a lot to do with it, like people are very willing to accept the aesthetic style of the American south as a vehicle for crime/mystery/possibly supernatural storytelling because it really doesn't challenge any conceptions they might have about the genre) (it helps that Woody Harrelson and Matthew McCounaughey are native southerners with great acting talent and natural screen chemistry who really took Season 1 to a higher level, in no small part thanks to their uncredited script doctoring. with lesser actors I think the story falls flat as hell because you need them to sell a rich relationship and complex inner lives with their performances because SO MUCH of their relationship is subtextual) (so when people see these great acting performances in the context of a police procedural set in Louisiana i think they're very pre-conditioned to elevate it to an almost mythical status in the genre because it doesn't present TOO many challenges to a conventional worldview about who has power and agency in stories)

like I said i've watched season 1 probably 10 times. it's very good. but it does MANY of the same things that people are complaining about regarding season 4/night country in terms of showing a lot of relationship/sexual drama for the leads and their Tragic Pasts. they just don't like it. which is fine. i just think it's a disingenuous angle to approach criticism of the show.

like if any actor other than McConaughey were doing Rust's monlogues in S1 it would not have been very good because it would have come off like self-serious edgelord shit, which is what it actually was (pizzolatto sucks) before it ended up in the hands of competent producers and performers. instead it really comes off like a man who has suffered and developed this worldview genuinely, within himself, not as a way to wield power over others but to protect himself from harm.

anyway....

for my part, i wanna know what the fuck is up with the spirals and the bad CGI polar bear visions and i'm going to be disappointed if it's not just some massive red herring designed to freak people out a little because that's what we deserve.

but in terms of like, the characters' lives, i generally find them very interesting. the opening scene of episode 3 with annie genuinely moved me to tears. annie seems like a fucking cool person and i would love another flashback about her.

i love that liz is a fucking asshole who is constantly being forced to confront her own behavior as racist, self-centered, impulsive, etc.

i love that evangeline is a very lonely person just barely keeping it together. kali reis is putting on an amazing performance. also, for the record, i'm VERY gay.

i wanna know more and there are only 2 episodes left and i hope it sticks the landing so i can write a big actual essay about what it did well from a storytelling perspective!

gosh i just love serialized fiction on the television

[mixelation]

been thinking about reborn au........

thought one: i think the initial chunin exam mission will be in iwa. there's some post third shinobi war thing that minato desperately wants but failed to get during peace negotiations (i'm leaning towards an actual prisoner but my mind could change). iwa has agreed to let konoha join their chunin exam after 5 years of peace but there's a lot of terms and conditions and restrictions

minato makes team kushina specifically for this exam.... his initial concept is that it's an itachi + kushina mission where deidara is a distraction (remember that in this AU deidara never joined iwa) and tori is basically his leash, because that's what the initial psyche report indicated their relationship is (it isn't). the fact that they're all 12-13 helps solidify the cover story that they're actual, legit genin even if they're obviously talented, and itachi's ANBU mission record is classified enough that iwa is unlikely to suss it out. minato's unsure they'll let KUSHINA in because she's his wife, but also something something they need a sealmaster for the extraction. plus he's not sure..... anyone else could handle itachi as a subordinate........ or deidara......... or even tori

initially i wanted to place the exam in kiri for more named characters who could cameo, but i used a lot of my ideas for it in homemade dynamite LMAO. i also think forcing deidara into iwa could make for some interesting character work, which i don't have a lot for him in this au

minato doesn't initially plan to inform deidara and tori that they're part of an ultra classified mission, in part because if it goes wrong then they risk reigniting war and so the fewer people who know, the better. you don't HAVE to know you're the distraction to be distracting, especially if you're deidara. itachi is the one who suggests they let them in, not because he's loyal to them that way, but because he's acutely aware that tori will notice something is up immediately, and tori is.... he doesn't always understand what game she's playing, but there's like a 22% chance she will ruin everything on purpose if they don't get her on board right away. this is late-game plasticity tori so if she decides to screw you over. listen. it won't go well for anyone involved. also because she's late game plasticity he's like "i genuinely think if they don't let kushina in, tori can just do it?" he's seen her done worse smh

(deidara might notice eventually and then there's a 75% chance he ruins everything on purpose, but he's so self-absorbed itachi anticipates this taking long enough that deidara ruining everything on purpose could just be their "distraction." unless tori tells him. because they hit that 22%)

thought two: i have been kind of struggling with what TORI'S character arc is, which is bad because she's the main character. i wanted to have her start in oto because that sort of gives her an excuse for being the way she is, but i realized that between that and her circumstances in plasticity...... this girl's sense of trust is just fundamentally broken LMAO. tori goes through life assuming everyone will turn on her if pushed. some people will just turn on you because they get bored. so maybe this is a story about finding a home, the way plasticity kind of is, but less fucked up and more ~learning to trust~ lmao

i think this theme also helps with like.... tori is just not someone who's loyal to a village because That's What You Do. villages are bad. she grew up surrounded by military propaganda and now she's allergic to it. you think she's fight a war for you? she wouldn't. but maybe that's okay if her home is there

[lesbiansanemi]

!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME ABOUT THEM

:DDDD This funky lil guy is Iom!

(And this amazing piece was commissioned from @/lordichamo)

Whore!!!! (affectionate) JK, he’s never gotten any action, he just desperately wants it lmao

Iom is from the Storm Realm, meaning he’s part of the people that closely evolved with extreme weather conditions. It’s literally always raining in the Storm Realm, and more often than not, thunder storming. Because of this, Storms can instinctually sense changes in weather, no matter how minute. It’s believed the lightning markings on their bodies might have used to be involved in that ability, but now they just glow in tandem with strong emotions.

Because of this, Iom hates that his markings are on his face and easy for anyone to see (most Storms have them across their bodies, the face is a rare place for them). But his masters think it’s incredibly cute, so he’s treated slightly better than most of the other servants.

Iom was sold by his parents to pay off their extreme debt, and he ended up as a servant to an incredibly wealthy political family. He was never taught to read or write, and was forbidden from cultivating any magical abilities he might have manifested, so even if he were able to somehow manage to pay off the debt, he’d have very little options in life but to continue being a servant.

Despite all of this, he’s a snarky and opportunistic bastard. When he’s chosen by Fate to do her bidding, all he can think about is how to twist it to his advantage, and how that role gives him more power over others, and the opportunity to make money. (He and Dark are on the same greedy, conniving spectrum, but they hate each other because their personalities clash so badly lmao). He only agrees to go against Fate after he realizes how often he’s going to have to put his life on the line, and look... Iom is a coward at heart, and he doesn’t want to die. Certainly not for other people. He’s one of the first to go along with Dark’s little plan of betraying Fate herself.

Some fun facts about Iom! When this concept was originally created, he and Dark were supposed to have a long, drawn out romance and eventually end up together. But that idea was nixed as the years went on and I realized I liked them more as chaotic besties than romantic partners. He has, what is essentially, a scottish accent and it’s very important to me that yall know that. He stubbornly refused to believe in most types of magic until everything happened with Fate just to be spiteful. He likes getting in pissing contests with Dark over whose life was more miserable. He would sell you to Satan for one corn chip

[ashxketchum]

So I updated TyHil Ghost AU yesterday, which is now called Afterglow and might be up on AO3 soon in a more linear format! 

You can read it here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

As always, remember to check out the original fanart that inspired this series and the TyHil version to go along with the fic drawn by the talented @misdre and give these some love! 

Let’s talk about the update now, before I go full Pokeshipping/TyHil mode from tomorrow. 

Kai and Rei make their debut in this chapter, though sadly not as ghosts. I really wanted to include all four of the original designs, but then needed to fill other roles as well 🥺I won’t talk much about Kai here, his role is pretty self explanatory when you read the chapter, but I will tag him for clout and better reach lmao . 

Now, spoiler alert for those who haven’t read the chapter yet, Hiromi meets Rei during vacation and it is revealed that Rei too can see ghosts like her, and is actually friends with Mizuhara. Since the story is more about Hiromi than anyone else, I couldn’t explain Rei and Max’s history in the chapter so I’ll get into it here. 

Rei was born in 1900s China, with a very peculiar condition, that is- he possessed two souls at birth, similar to the concept of Yin and Yang. One soul is Rei’s own, while the other one is a vengeful spirit that latched onto him, possibly when he was still in the womb. As Rei grows up there are times when he just can’t control the spirit and it takes over his body and makes him do awful things, burning his village down to the ground for instance.After a certain point, the spirit begins to halt his ageing, making him eternally stay in his 20s. Which is why he is constantly on the move, to not get attached to people who he might end up hurting, and to not let his eternal youthfulness show in front of others. 

Max on the other hand was born in the late 1800s, to one of the first Americans to settle in Japan (arriving on the infamous Black Ship), but he falls sick when he’s still a child and passes away in his pre-teens. He is unsure of the reason why his spirit is still latched onto the living world, but he makes the most of his time here by finding people to haunt and tease every now and then. Like Rei, he moves around a lot in search of new targets and bases. 

The two meet for the first time when Rei arrives in Japan in 1990s, to escape an acquaintance who might have caught onto his secret in Beijing. At first Max cannot sense the second spirit inside Rei, and thinks that the foreigner would make for a fun target to haunt, and without too much thought, he attaches himself to Rei. However, Rei doesn’t turn out to be as fun to haunt as Max had thought because nothing Max does scares him (since he’s obviously done worse). Until one night Max doesn’t have the intention to meet Rei but notices him walking down the street in a trance, and follows him secretly to find him strangling a stranger in an alley. That’s when Max is able to sense the second spirit, though with his weightlessness he cannot actually stop Rei. He tries to call out to him, and surprisingly it works, Rei is able to get control of his body again and the two flee the scene after Max erases the person’s memory. 

The more time the two spend together after that, they realise that when Max is nearby, the vengeful spirit doesn’t want to show itself and Rei can normally keep control over his body, and that’s how the two decide that they will stay by each other’s side, until Rei can figure out how to exorcise the second soul out of his body. 

So even though Max is a ghost in this AU, to Rei he is somewhat of a guardian angel. 

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

[bi-sapphics]

I see and hear you. As a lesbian how do I support bi people better?

thank you, i really appreciate your solidarity. ♡

my best advice would be to just hold biphobia accountable when you see it. considering material reality, it might mean more if you (general lesbian population) do it than me (general bi population). obviously you're here now listening to me but oftentimes we just get dismissed as whining about nothing and/or being lesbophobic. but lesbians listen to other lesbians. for example, i personally am critical of the lesbian masterdoc and the concept of comphet (not against it, i do think it's a real thing, just a little wary) but it ultimately took tribades, another lesbian, to voice agreement in order for the argument to be listened to. that isn't to say it drastically changed anyone's mind, but rather that the post was actually read and at least considered, even if the suggestions were rejected. it's important that lesbians play a part here because it's all turned into this whole ridiculous unrealistic thing where it's almost like only lesbians can hold other lesbians accountable without coming across as bigoted.

with that in mind, please note that i'm not asking you to treat every single little thing like it's biphobia. dissent is not inherently biphobia just because you're not bisexual. if you think critically and can provide reasons and evidence then you shouldn't be dismissed as wrong, although i would say the bi community should be the primary speakers on bi issues so that we don't get spoken over. i trust you to just use common sense. does it sound necessary to defend actions of bi sapphics here, or am i just being performative by assuming this is what i need to do? is this malicious slander, or is it a genuine critique? are these ridiculously silly and false accusations, or is there really a problem of their own fault that needs to be addressed? things like that. i hate radical outlooks that operate on black-and-white solutions. everything is a grey area and is almost always situational.

my other advice would be to follow and listen to blogs similar to mine that do my job but better. non-bi-narism, nb-n-bi, bakerybutch, nebula*****try (racial slur & i'm white), jocularly-ambidextrous, pippii-punkstockings, femmebis, marcebubble, justsayouhatebisexualwomen, femmebisexuelle, firstgrave, boytoykisser, yrbutchgf, butch-bakugo, bifey, and of course many more that i'll probably continue to add onto in the future if i make this a reference post. and obviously i'm not telling you to follow all of them, those are just some of my favorite suggestions thus far. i'd also suggest mediumkravitz and pinkvampyr, although they have me blocked because i was briefly stupid a while back and i couldn't get ahold of them without being annoying. :,)

that's it, i hope it's simple enough lmao. i demand a ton of shit from non-bisexuals all the time generally but i don't want to put lots of pressure on individuals directly, especially if they're genuine and also because i've been led to believe that support is usually conditional. (҂-̀_-́) but yeah, i hope this guide is good enough!!

[earthstellar]

workin’ on some Transformers ASMR, hellll yeahhhh

ok so not gonna lie I’ve been quieter than usual for a while on here because of a bunch of medical and immigration stuff 

but I’ve also been working on some Transformers ASMR 

mostly TFP/Aligned Continuity and IDW 1 (MTMTE/LL) but if y’all would want anything for Cyberverse etc. let me know 

and without spoiling the shit I’ve been planning, just saying I’ve been working at it for a couple months now and I’ve got some scripts that I’m reasonably happy with + I figured out how to use my Phonak mic for my hearing devices to record some pretty solid quality audio LMAO 

but because I’m not the most experienced with this kind of stuff, I’d like to ask for some help sourcing materials and audio sample libraries! :) 

if anyone knows any good free background/ambient music or sound sample websites which are OK for public use, and/or if anyone has any good Audacity tutorials for cleaning up spoken word audio (no worries I’m using the old version of Audacity and not the new weird version with the suspicious altered terms and conditions), please do feel free to send me a message or reply/comment here and let me know! 

I’ve managed to source some good sci-fi sound effects etc. already, lmao, but I’m really trying to make something enjoyable for y’all to listen to, so the more resources available, the better I can tinker with stuff and see what might work best or better than what I’ve figured out on my own so far. :) 

(I’m finally putting those years of doing acting/performing arts + radio and voicing projects for various stuff to some kind of use, but I’m no expert by any means with the technical stuff LMAO so any and all tips are welcome!!!) 

there won’t be visuals with the current handful of ASMR recordings I’m working on at the moment, just so I can get my footing with the audio process and figure out how to actually put it all together into an OK audio track before I start thinking about videos/visual content to accompany this stuff 

I was hoping to have at least a couple tracks out before the New Year, which I’m still aiming for but we’ll see how it goes-- I’m having a lot of fun so far with the idea of Transformers ASMR, but since I’m super busy doing clinical support work during the week (and thus having to do everything else on the weekends lol), I can’t guarantee at the moment that I’ll manage that 

but how about this for now:

to help test my audio and get used to doing some more of the editing/technical stuff, if anyone wants a quick ASMR Transformers MP3, just let me know a general prompt of what you’d like to hear (give me a Transformers themed ASMR concept sort of like a fanfic request if that makes sense, lmao), and I’ll make a few short recordings to experiment with for you, in exchange for some feedback! :) 

my partner wanted me to record a “Pharma but pre-war Pharma so it’s not terrifying, giving me a check up or something” MP3, so that one is already in the works lmao hell yeah 

for what it’s worth: my natural speaking voice is fairly low, and I have spent an equal number of years living in the USA and UK, so I can do a fairly broad range of various English language accents reasonably well. (I am only confident in this because other people have told me this + I won an award for doing a foreign accent monologue challenge when I was in performing arts school LOL)

my voice acting credentials are doing small town local radio in the USA for a little while, and voicing a few characters in student animation projects that were fairly small projects but a few were screened on Brick Lane in London so take that for whatever it’s worth, I feel like I probably do okay with voices but will likely get better with more regular practice tbh 

also I realise the irony of me being hearing disabled yet trying to do an audio project, don’t roast me LOL I’m out here doing my best :’) 

I realise ASMR is still a sort of weird niche thing in general, so I’m not sure how popular an idea this will be, but I hope it’s an interesting idea to anyone else out there who might be into it. :)

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Grand Design

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:

If you asked the Heroics Commission why they created Izuku, you'd get an answer pretty close to the truth. The rising power of quirks was making them nervous, and All Might won't live forever.

What they aren't mentioning is the fact that they don't like All Might either.

He's kind and good and dedicated to people over the country. The man will break countless laws to save a single life and has defied the heroics commission on many occasions - something they can't punish him for in any way without being slammed by the media.

So, they come up with a plan.

if you asked the heroics commission why they created Izuku, you'd get an answer pretty close to the truth

the rising power of quirks was making them nervous, and all might won't live forever. 'there might be another quirk as powerful as all mights just around the corner for the heroes' you might say. 'we're just taking away the 'might'' they'd reply

but what they aren't mentioning is the fact that they don't like All Might either.

he's kind and good and dedicated to people over country. the man will break countless laws to save a single life and has defied the heroics commission on many occasions - something they can't punish him for in any way without being slammed by the media

so, they come up with a plan

"if we can't control all might, we make the next all might ourselves"

sure, the doctor who does the work for them is a little shady, but it can't be helped. quirk genetic experiments were recently made illegal in a case spearheaded by nezu himself. nezu doesn't exactly agree with a total ban and is encouraging regulation in place of a blanket stop, but its been years and the laws are going nowhere fast

maybe the man has some shady connections to some shady people all too eager to replace all might? oh well, it can be managed

so

a pregnant woman called Inko Midoriya shows up at a hospital, dead on arrival, with the baby inside her still clinging to life?

well.

thats just convenient, isn't it?

they extract the child, pronounce the mother dead and whisk the child away into 'foster care', or the arms of the good doctor

when he's revealed to be quirkless? at first the commission is dubious but the doctor assures them this is perfect. he doesn't have to base the quirk off anything, it can be built from the ground up, as exactly the quirk the commission wants

izuku is born 3 months premature to a dead mother and one month later has a strong enough combination of quirks to take down all might when he grows up.

there is a bit of a catch, though. due to the whole 3 months early and dead mother thing, his constitution isn't the greatest, leaving him pretty sickly. the doctor assures him he'll be much better when he grows up (he’s lying). still - it’s a long while until their creation will be an adult. they could let him grow up normally in a nice house, only to pounce on him when he's grown a little stronger

but a chance of letting their perfect child slip away? nope. they resolve to train him as soon as he can crawl.

A few variations of this AU bc I had loads of quirk ideas before I settled on one - Knock Off For All: Izuku has a quirk as similar to OFA as was possible to create without being able to stockpile, complete with the achy breaky bones (no extra quirks) - Power Set: Izuku has a set of the most useful quirks the doctor could think of, ala USJ nomu (Shock nullification, Regeneration, Super Strength, etc) - Midorigiri: Izuku has a powerful combination quirk like a certain cloud mist dude. Probably either a shock absorption + redirection quirk / all 4 elemental types / guardian angel: wings, flight, hard light construct, healing - All for Naught: Izuku has a knock off of All for One that lets him perma copy 5 quirks at a time

So, Guardian Angel is the quirk I’m going with, mostly for the Hawks parallels. They end up basically being raised with each other, hawks jokingly calling Izuku his little brother. He almost cries when Izuku asks what that is.

Izuku’s quirk allows him to fly with a set of wings (he has hollow bones to facilitate this), can create hard light constructs; the more complicated the shape the harder it is and was originally classified as a forcefield quirk before Izuku got creative with it, and gives him the ability to heal.

All abilities excluding flight are based on the amount of ambient light. The brighter it is, the stronger his constructs and the better he can heal. His blood glows. Make of that what you will.

The problem being that while his quirk/s are strong, Izuku himself is very weak. He has chronic anaemia, difficulty putting on weight, a heart murmur, weak lungs, etc. the HA don’t care at all and make him train until he can’t walk.

From birth till 7 Izuku has no contact with people outside the facility, whereupon he is promptly dumped into a public school for 5 days a week. The education he gets there isn’t important, he’ll learn what he needs at the facility. What they do deem as important is A, creating a paper trail for the kid and B, socializing him somewhat.

People flock to him for his quirk, cementing what they always told him. “All of your worth is in your quirk. You have an obligation to save others.”

Plus, they’ve told him he wasn’t born like everyone else, he was created. Different, artificial, inhuman, those where all words used to describe him at the facility. He finds it difficult to make friends.

He forms a strange almost friendship with Bakugo as the only other kid with a super powerful quirk in the school, even if it’s more of a support quirk than anything else. Izuku silently heals Bakugo when he gets into fights, Bakugo snarls at anyone who makes Izuku too uncomfortable. It’s odd, but it works.

Izuku’s personality is similar to canon in the fact he's the same person but it’s a little jumbled.

He’s even less trusting of adults than canon which is saying something, but he doesn’t have canons blatant disregard for authority. If he breaks a rule he makes sure he doesn’t get caught because the punishments he’s had before left scars.

His anger runs a little closer to the surface but he feels like a bad person for feeling any emotion that isn’t positive so he crushes it down under forced optimism. Izuku shows his anger rarely and when he does, it’s quiet and vicious.

If an authority figure tells him to do something, he does it. It takes a while for Aizawa to break the kid’s conditioned need to respond automatically to any request from a ‘Handler’. Aizawa is very afraid of where it came from, but Nezu can’t find anything about this kid other than the record of his birth and his school enrolments.

Izuku thinks he’s less valuable than others which is pretty canon, at least at the start, but here it’s because he’s ‘not as good/natural/ something’ as a ‘normal’ human. Most of the UA teacher see it, but they have no idea why he thinks he’s lesser so their mixed attempts at questioning/comfort fall pretty flat. Izuku is convinced they would abandon him if they knew.

So, Izuku has a complicated relationship with the concept of All Might.

To start off with, even with everything that happened, Izuku adores heroes right down to his very core. Hawks counts the HA lucky that they didn’t accidentally turn Izuku into a villain. Izuku’s favourite hero is All Might, but -

For a start, he was told he was made to be better than All Might. The part of the HA that created him isn’t fond of the no. 1 as someone they can’t at all control, Izuku has basically been taught that All Might is lying to the world with the way he presents himself and that he’s secretly a terrible person and would hate him for both being artificial and for being made to be better than him

Ergo, Izuku is shit scared of him.

Izuku wants to go to UA because Katsuki is going to UA and Katsuki is the only person other than Hawks he’s ever had a somewhat close relationship with. The HA thinks: eh, fuck it, it’ll be a nice fuck you to All Might anyway.

Then All Might is announced as a teacher after Izuku has been accepted and all hell breaks loose.

A brief set of things that happen:

Dadmight and Dadzawa to the extreme, all of 1A basically adopts Izuku instantly (after they get over the fear of his crazy quirk lmao). All Might and Eraserhead are Izuku’s favourite heroes, other than Hawks, so he's both terrified and in awe of them at all times. He finds himself both loving the familial affection he was denied as a child and being terrified they’d think he was a monster when they learnt he was made to overtake All Might, and isn’t a ‘real person’.

Izuku gets OFA, eventually. It ends up improving his physical health which is neat, along with its extra quirks and strengthening of his own.

Todoroki hates Izuku a little from the beginning, although he’d never admit it. Izuku’s quirk is incredibly powerful and he didn’t have to undergo Todoroki’s childhood torment (Which is Incorrect, but he doesn’t exactly know that, does he) When Todoroki finds out (sports festival, Izuku has a pretty emotional response to his little angst time and lets a few things slip) he becomes fiercely protective of him.

Izuku and Bakugo develop an actual friendship and it’s an adventure

Izuku gets kidnapped along with Bakugo at the training camp, during which the doctor, AFO or Shigiraki reveal he was created to beat All Might, just like the Nomu. Izuku wants to run away out of fear/shame, but Bakugo drags him along with the rescue attempt. Izuku, too scared to go back to the HA or UA, wants nothing more than to vanish off the face of the earth. When Aizawa and All Might visit him and Bakugo at the hospital, Izuku breaks down crying and cowers in fear, convinced his teachers are either going to hurt or kill him. Everyone involved is horrified. They try to calm him down but just seeing them is scaring the shit out of Izuku so they end up getting chased out by Bakugo who clumsily comforts him.

[harajuku-omega]

Concepts: Service Dynamics and Overheat/Overrut Syndrome

CW: This is a SFW blog so I’m not gonna go into detail, but it does mention sexual things like heats/ruts. Also, it’s a long post, so strap in!!!

Okay so I think I saw someone mention this in a fic w/out going into it much, but I still went crazy for it and decided to make some headcanons LMAO

⊗ In my ABOverse, heats and ruts are generally ranked on a level system (1-5)

⊗ Levels 1-2 are considered normal—their cycles can be annoying in their own ways and tax the body, but they can be sated and recovered from easily. Pain scale rankings for these cycles are between 1-4/10.

⊗ Level 3 is cause for concern, but not only due to of severity. Those who have Level 3 heats/ruts, especially when young, usually experience worsening of their symptoms as they age. Pain scale rankings for these cycles are 5-6/10.

⊗ Level 4 is a definite trip to the doctor. These ruts/heats aren’t the worst, but they’re damn near close. Those cycling in this state have a hard time functioning, get dehydrated quickly, experience very high blood pressures, and should not go unmonitored. Despite this, they can still walk around, but movement creates an ungodly amount of lethargy. Pain scale rankings for these cycles are 7-8/10.

⊗ Level 5 is when heats/ruts get dangerous. If left unsated, these cycles can take the lives of those suffering through them. Level 5 heat/rut patients are often immobilized and have difficulty speaking, eating, and drinking. They may experience severe cramping and even full-body aches. Their scents can be powerful enough to DETER people rather than attract. Generally, Level 5 cycles double the symptoms of Level 4 cycles. Pain scale rankings for these cycles are 9-10/10.

⊗ If someone is identified to have a Level 4 or 5 cycle, then they will be diagnosed with Overrut or Overheat Syndrome. If they have a mate, then they’re kind of okay for the most part—they would just have to spend the cycle with their mate while being monitored in a hospital. The real seriousness comes when they have no mate whatsoever—something a lot of Level 5 patients seem to have in common (they’re often already sickly to begin with and may not have the time or energy to court a potential mate).

⊗ This is where the Service Dynamics step in. Service Alphas/Betas/Omegas pose as a temporary “mate” to help Level 4’s and 5’s through the pain, and, of course, keep them alive.

⊗ It’s a somewhat stigmatized career path, as many interpret them as glorified prostitutes. This isn’t the case, though—they act more like babysitters than anything else, supplying water, food, and comfort to their struggling patients. The sexual aspect is only a small part of what they’re trained for.

⊗ Service Dynamics usually wear a color-coded best and a matching supply bag to signify what they work as. Alphas are red, Betas are green, and Omegas are blue. They aren’t very discreet-looking, but it doesn’t matter since they usually work in the cycling wings of hospitals anyway.

⊗ Service Dynamics can be ordered ahead according to schedules or called last-minute for emergencies. Service Dynamic agencies can be contacted via cellphone, online websites, or medically ordered in from doctors. Most doctors’ offices have brochures explaining Service Dynamics in detail.

⊗ Most Servicers are ordered in advance, but shit happens. They’re always ready to be called to someone’s home, no matter how uncommon that may be.

⊗ Service Alphas/Betas/Omegas are usually between the ages of 21-35 years old. The absolute minimum age is 18, but 18-year-olds are often discouraged from applying just because most Overheat/Overrut patients are within the 21-35 year age range and will feel uncomfortable being sated by someone fresh out of high school.

⊗ Service Dynamics are trained EXTENSIVELY before seeing their first patient. In order to not severely hurt anyone (or be hurt themselves) they have to be whipped out of a lot of knee-jerk reactions caused by their instincts. Betas are the easiest to train in that aspect, as they are naturally inclined to the deescalation tactics that Alphas and Omegas have to learn. (They also have a higher tolerance for strong scents, something that Alphas and Omegas find to be the most difficult part of the job.)

⊗ Service Dynamics are divided into two categories—“Gentle” and “Aggressive”. Aggressive Servicers tend to be more domineering and rough their clients up a little bit. Gentle Servicers are the opposite—they tend to be more submissive and handle clients very carefully. They also ask their clients what they want often.

⊗ While Aggressive Servicers are good for indecisive patients who are less stressed when someone else takes control, the Gentle Servicers are generally more popular. It might have something to do with Overrut/Overheat patients being more physically sensitive due to their condition.

⊗ Aggressive Servicers also have to do more paperwork and be checked on more than Gentle Servicers. It’s just to make sure that they aren’t in it to outright abuse clients while they’re vulnerable.

⊗ Service Betas are for Overheat/Overrut patients that absolutely can’t stand the smell of Alphas/Omegas during their cycles. They’re more popular with Overheat patients than Overrut, as Overheating Omegas may experience a crippling fear of Alphas during. Service Betas tend to be on the Gentle spectrum, as well.

⊗ Of course, it’s not unheard of for same-dynamic Servicers to be ordered as well, it’s just a bit uncommon. Alphas are more likely to order Service Alphas than Omegas are to order Service Omegas. Overrut patients may feel that they are dangerous and that another Alpha might be able to handle them better.

There’s probably more tidbits to be added, but I forgot for now! This has a ton of info already anyway LOL

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #410

“oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that i’ma buy her, do you know just what she likes?

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? Ye. Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? No. What do you currently hear? A slowed w/ reverb version of "If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears. Yes, I have a serious thing for these edits of childhood songs, ha ha. Actually, no shame, I still love Britney lmao. What's your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do you like bagels? Yep. Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? I ain't having any of those, so I don't have to worry about that. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? At a zoo, yes. Are you any good at HTML? Noooo. When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Recently, because I'm awful about downloading things illegally. What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture. Do you ever cry just to get your way? Hi, I'm 25. I at least have SOME adult traits. Have you ever been to any professional sports games? Yes. What's the most boring sport to watch? The only sport I enjoy watching is dance, so. I think golf has to take the cake for the absolute worst, though. Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? UGH I just love lip rings on anybody. Do you have good or bad vision? Literally awful. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren't supposed to? Hell no. That is so fucking inconsiderate and lazy. Have you ever been to a different country? No. When was the last time you finger-painted? Nooo idea. Probably not since I was a little kid. Do you say car-mel or car-A-mel? "Care-uh-mel." When you get out of the shower, do you use one or two towels? One. Are you uncomfortable with changing clothes in front of others? Absolutely yes. Hell, I don't think I ever really changed in front of Jason back in the day, so that says something about how self-conscious I was with a FIT body. Never mind this catastrophe I own now. Which is worse: Runny nose or stuffy nose? Both suck, but stuffy drives me absolutely INSANE. Who's been the most influential person in your life? My mom. Do you have any tan lines? Ha, yeah, no. How many different schools have you gone to? Six. Do you know how to slow dance? I mean, yes? It's not complicated. Have you ever taken The Impossible Quiz? (If not, you should Google it. :D) No, and I'll never waste my time doing that shit. I've watched people play and beat it, but it seems like such frustrating, pointless madness with zero rhyme or reason behind it. Has someone that you liked told you that you are a waste of their time? No. Who is the last person you were in a car with? Mom. In the next 6 months, what are you looking forward to most? Ummmm Christmas, maybe? That's always exciting. Is there anyone who hates you? Probably. Who were you with the last time you went out for food? Mom. If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Eh... I guess if it was for medicinal purposes, I would be okay with it. I'm not keen on dating a smoker of anything. Do you want to start over with anyone? Just Jason, at least sometimes. It'd be really, really nice if we could be friends again and just forget about who we were all those years ago, but I genuinely doubt my ability to be "just friends" with him. Even though I haven't spoken to this dude in over FOUR YEARS, and I'm sure he's changed a lot, just like I have. We might not even be compatible anymore. As much as I may want it, I think it's probably for the better we remain unassociated. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? It's what I eat first. Are you completely over your last relationship? Not "completely," no. I still love her, but I'm in a headspace of accepting that now is not the right time with unfit conditions. What hoodie did you wear last? My Pikachu one, which is the one I pretty much always wear. Do you listen to Incubus? Probably surprisingly, no. I don't know if I've even heard a song. Do you wear flip-flops during the winter? More like always. Do you like the smell of Axe? If you don't use an obnoxious amount, yeah. What do you think of feminists? Absolutely necessary as pilots for change. HOWEVER, I do believe some can take the concept waaaay too far. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Dad, probably. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh my god, GUYS. It was my niece's birthday last month, and she did the CUTEST shit. She used to be very, very opposed to getting even slightly dirty (I mean like a speck of dirt on her would make her cry), and this kid decided to just C H O M P into her cupcake and get the frosting ALL over her face. She had two and got so messy, and that angel was just laughing hysterically about it. That girl is such a damn gift. Safe to say she was bouncing off the walls that night. Did you hug one of your parents today? No. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan, period. Have you ever put a lot of thought and effort into a gift for somebody, only for them to act like it didn’t really matter to them? Oh god, no. That would really, really hurt, because I genuinely do try to be very thoughtful with my gifts. Do you follow the ‘five second rule’ when you drop food on the ground? NOOOOOOO. It's just a bullshit myth. I am NOT eating food that's been on the floor for a millisecond. If you had to describe yourself using a colour, which colour would you be? Maybe like... navy blue? Kinda dark and somber, but also has a calmness to it. Have you ever had to use another person’s toothbrush before? What were the circumstances? I WOULD FUCKING NEVER. Omg that is so gross. Have you ever crashed a car? No. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? I don't want kids, but if I did, absolutely surrounded by nature and animals. Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yeah, I love it there. Damn, now I want some, lol. Have you ever seen a ghost? I sure as fuck saw something. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, who will you first tell? Who says I'm ever going to BE pregnant? 'Cuz it sure isn't in my plans. But hypothetically, the dad. Have you ever won a game of Minesweeper? Like ever? I've never played it. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt. I really should chat with him soon, it's been too long. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? I'd keep it. Make me look more badass. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ What is your hair naturally like? Brown and kinda-sorta wavy. Have you ever stared at a stranger and they said something to you about it? No; I don't stare at people. Is your father very protective of you? I wouldn't say "very protective," no. What would you do if your hero died? ffffffUCK THIS QUESTION HOW ABOUT NO HE'S NOT ALLOWED THAT'S VERY ILLEGAL Where was your first date at with your current lover? I don't have one currently. Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? Depends on how much sleep I got, but I'm generally in my best mood in the morning. Did your parents force you to go to church? Mom did. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It was the next book in the series I'm reading, Wings of Fire. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Hm. I dunno. Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? I mean it would really depend on WHY I was breaking up with them, but I guess in most situations I'd try to meet them face-to-face and explain why I wanted to cut things off. I think it'd be important for them to hear my tone of voice, and I think physically meeting somewhere would show that I care enough for them to cut time out of my day to see them and try to hurt them as least as possible, given the situation. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? DO NOT in even a minor way ridicule mental illness or belittle victims as "weak" or pull the "it's just in their head" bullshit. The misuse of the term "retard(ed)" also genuinely offends me. I wouldn't say I'm easy to offend, either. What was the last chore you completed? Changing my cat's litter. When was the last time someone saw you naked? It's been a loooong time, and it would've only been my mom when I was like, going into a shower or something. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? Probably Steve Irwin. I'd go on and on about how his family has carried his legacy so brilliantly, and show him aaaaaall the public pictures of Bindi and Grace, especially. God, that man would be so proud of them all. What is the greatest lost you’ve endured? My first "real" boyfriend. How would you describe your current mood? A mix of tired and anxious. I don't feel like going to bed yet, and the storm we've got passing through has me nervous about tornadoes 'n shit. Do you ever drink or get high alone? I've had some light drinks alone. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? I've never done any illicit drugs, and I don't want to. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? Probably that I've had a pilonidal cyst. It's awkward to explain, but I'll share it anyway if there's a good reason to/I'm asked or something. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? Her just being the most toxic, drama-filled person with the biggest victim complex of any human I've ever met. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Mom, and my voice was raised. Where do you like to be kissed? This depends on how serious we are. Can go from just the cheek to a lot of places. Which season is your least favorite and why? Summer, because it's too goddamn hot and humid. Who, if anyone, do you compare yourself to most? Probably my little sister. She's on such a successful path, and then there's like... me lmao. Do you have a night-light in your bedroom? If so, what does it look like? No. What is your favorite breakfast food? How often do you get to eat it? Cinnamon rollssssss. I have 'em very rarely, though. I'll eat too many of them, which I definitely don't need. What is your favorite thing about autumn? What about your least favorite thing? AHHHHHH EVERYTHING. I love Halloween and the decorations that come with it, the changing leaves, the crisp air... just all of it. :') Who was the last person you asked for help? Mom, I'm sure.

[purplesurveys]

1154

[created by: joybucket]

What was the last thing you ate? We had adobo for dinner. I didn’t find it filling though, so I might get some of my mom’s bread pudding sometime tonight as a midnight snack.

What is one thing you're a hoarder of? Receipts, for no reason whatsoever other than the frequent nagging feeling at the back of my head telling me I might need to pull out a certain receipt one of these days just in case I get into any issues, so I end up keeping all of them.

Do you collect magazine clippings? No. I used to but they’re all gone now.

What rating do you normally give surveys? I just take them on here. I visit Bzoink pretty often but I never made an account so I haven’t been able to rate the surveys I’ve taken.

Name someone you wish acted the way he/she used to. I wanna say Gab, but she’s better off figuring out who she wants to be and is meant to be for now. Otherwise, I don’t really have an answer to this; all the people I know are pretty dang fantastic.

Have you ever worked in food service? No.

What was your favorite job that you've had? I’ve only had one job, and I definitely can’t complain about it.

Does your stomach hurt currently? Nope. I’m actually on day 2 of my period, but fortunately the pain really ever only takes place on day 1 for me. The rest of my period usually goes smoothly.

What's one medication condition that you have? I don’t have any. I have one medical condition – scoliosis – but I don’t take any medication for it.

Do you forget passwords a lot? LOL yessssss, because websites have varying rules on what they can count as a password – some want 8 characters, some want 12, some want upper case letters, some want a symbol; so even though I use the same password for everything I typically have to make 84954983573475 variations of them anyway that I end up forgetting.

What is the most you've ever weighed? Not sure, maybe a little over 100 lbs.

Do you plan your wedding on Pinterest? No, I never understood how Pinterest worked :/ I lasted all of 5 minutes on there until I felt bored.

Would you want your first child to be a girl or a boy? I’d love a girl.

Who are the cutest babies on Facebook? The Song triplets will always be babies to me, no matter how big they get.

Do you refer to coral as pink, orange, salmon, or coral? Those are four different colors/shades that you’ve just named right there.... < Lmaooooooo same thoughts. I would just call it coral because that’s what it is.

Name someone whom you wish would apologize to you. I have a name in mind and you guys already know who it is. I’m at peace regardless if I get an apology or not (I definitely won’t), though – and I count that as a win. It’s absolutely batshit insane that I never heard one apology but instead got a million “Can’t you give me credit for trying?” I can’t help but chuckle every time I take myself back to those moments. Thankful I got out of there :)

Do you own a record player? I don’t, but I’d love to have one.

Do you have many regrets? No.

Do you wish your regrets would stop coming back to haunt you? I don’t have a lot of them, so I don’t let them bother me to begin with.

Have you had any regrets in the past week? Can’t say I’ve had any.

What do you not know how to say no to? Requests/favors. I’m a people pleaser through and through.

Have you ever been mad at God? Yup, that’s why I let go of religion at a very young age. I was going through shit no kid should’ve been going through and the idea that some deity is making it happen because it was supposed to encourage me have more faith was utterly stupid. I had no problem disowning whatever god I was desperately trying to latch on to by the time I was 10.

If you don't have a car, do you feel like you're missing out? I have a car. I don’t own it, but it was designated for me.

What is your favorite cousin's name? Jereth. I keep forgetting where they got his name from, but it was from like a German movie or something like that.

Who do you wish were your best friend? Hayley Williams.

Would you ever consider moving to L.A.? Never. Just never seemed like my kind of city. Not to mention the amount of Asian/Asian-American hate crimes I’ve been hearing about recently. The US is undeniably out of my list of places I’d want to step foot in, much less live in.

List 5 other names that start with the same letter of your name. Rhiannon, Riley, Rocky, Rachel, and Russell.

Have you ever known anyone who's name started with a "Y"? Yes, I went to college with a girl named Yumi. Yanna is also still a good friend of mine and we catch up every once in a while.

^If yes, what was it? Oops, mentioned them already. There are also a couple more Y people I know but I’m not close to them nor are we in the same social groups, so idk how to classify them. 

Did you hear laurel or yanny? It’s been a while since I let myself get carried away by that ~meme, but I think I heard yanny.

Owls or penguins? Penguins. But owls are great too.

What is your go-to comfort food? Probably something with grease that is fried. < This is an awesome answer. Right now though, I’ve been frequently getting spicy tuna salad every Friday to reward myself after a work week.

What is the best coffee shop in your town? Tim Hortons. < Tim Hortons is greeeeaaaat, but all the branches are in Metro Manila and not at all near me :( That said, my pick would probs be Starbucks. There’s a new local coffee shop where I live called Ghost Coffee and I had been meaning to check it out, but quarantine part two happened.

Do you prefer Pinterest or Tumblr? Tumblr, but then again don’t they have different features and purposes?

Do you think blonde is the best hair color? No.

In your opinion, what is the best hair color? I don’t think that there really is a “best” hair color... < Same. Tbh I’ve noticed that I only ever get attracted to brunettes, but I don’t think that necessarily makes it the best hair color.

If applicable, what is the name of your YouTube channel? I think it’s just my name since my account is linked to my Google.

Do you wear glasses? Yes, but I haven’t worn mine in a while since one of the legs snapped. I’ve been managing well without it, but I plan on getting a new pair soon. At least as soon as I grow the pussy to book an appointment HAHA

What's one nickname you have? Leigh calls me Robs. It’s not my favorite, but Leigh is like a sister to me so she’s the only person permitted to call me such.

What's one thing you miss? Being in crowded places and living in those moments.

Do you have a favorite spot in church? I hate being at a church; but to answer this, my very enthusiastic mom used to always pick the very front and center row for our family to sit at, so you can imagine how glad I am not to have to do this anymore because of Covid :)))

Who was the biggest bully in your high school? Bullies stopped being a thing in high school. All the friend groups just minded their own business for the most part, ours included.

Which news story has still stuck with you years later, and why? Manila hostage crisis. It was really scary and the fact that the entire thing was being streamed live on the evening news at a time when livestreaming was still a fairly unfamiliar concept made it even more unsettling.

Have you ever REALLY had a celebrity crush? On Kristen Stewart and Kate Winslet, yep. These days my eyes are on Kim Seon Ho hahaha, and I also feel a future crush on BTS’ Jungkook coming through.

Did you ever have to wear a school uniform? From preschool to high school. Didn’t have to anymore once I started college.

Do you collect washi tape? No. I neverrrrrrr saw the big deal, but then again I’m probably just not craftsy enough to see the point lmao.

Tell me something random that happened to you today. I took an afternoon nap for the first time in many months, and I woke up feeling completely disheveled and confused about the day and time. It’s been a while since I got that sensation and I did not miss it.

If you're a girl, are you on your period? I am, actually.

Are there any balloons in the room you're in right now? Yeah, the balloons we had set up for my dad for his 50th birthday celebration are surprisingly still alive. We originally had them in our accommodation in Tagaytay, but we brought the balloons home and put them up on the 2nd floor corridor, and they’re still all up there.

Do you have the windows open? I do, because the wind is actually pretty chilly tonight. I’m even wearing a hoodie in freaking April, which never happens.

What's one good name for a new puppy? Depends on their personality. It took hours for us to name Cooper, so it wouldn’t be easy to think of a name for a puppy I’ve never even met.

Would you collect antiques if you were rich? Depends on what kind, but yeah, I might consider it.

Did you dream last night? Yes.

Do you forget dreams or remember them? (or do you not dream?) I remember them in the first few minutes of waking up, but my memories of them gradually fizzle out throughout the day.

What color is your phone? Black.

Do you often have your phone on vibrate? Yes, because I often have meetings and it’s a big nuisance whenever there’s a ringtone that chimes in the middle of one.

Name something that gives you headaches. Working in front of the laptop for too long.

Do you have a secret hiding spot? My car, sometimes.

Have you ever lived in a place that had a secret passageway? Nope.

Did you play with legos as a kid? Yes, but I was never too imaginative for it. I just liked making tall towers and then dismantling them right after.

If applicable, what color is the rim of your bedroom mirror? White.

Can you be scatterbrained? Sure.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok so some of your content implies immortal Alec and I was wondering how you thought it would happen? I've read a few things where Clary creates a rune/uses the alliance rune to make him immortal (but I don't think you're a real big fan of her) so I wanna hear your thoughts and also maybe Magnus's reaction

hoooooo boy i am GLAD YOU ASKED because i have a whole ass au that i have like. basically all the plot down but my stupid brain can’t turn into a fic so i guess im gonna shove it here and GOODBYE FOREVER 

(also, about the clary thing: it’s complicated diaushduaih because i kind of really hate her in canon but i also accepted fanon clary into my life? mostly because i unfortunately can’t help but ship clizzy, but anyway, i kinda disassociate clary from canon. so i’m not really against the idea that she makes a rune or something, but i do think this idea is more interesting. or maybe it isn’t but then i guess that’s your personal problem because well, you did ask lol im jk btw)

okay so i have one word for you: seelies. hot diggity damn do i fucking love seelies or what

so you know how seelies are the offspring of demons and angels? and there’s this whole thing about demon blood and angel blood not mixing well at all? well, i was thinking, how the fuck does that work. and i came to the conclusion that whatever stronger parent they had’s blood would like, tame the other or whatever, you know? but then what if they had equally strong - or equally weak - parents? like a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, what the fuck happens then? or alternatively the child of some angel janitor and a minor demon, would they even have enough magic?

so i figured if that happens it’s like as if a seelie has an autoimmune disease - their body is fighting itself constantly. for those who have very strong parents, this means that they are decaying quickly, and usually won’t be able to like, survive for long if they don’t do something. for those who have weaker parents, it usually means they’re weak

so these seelies are actually born mortal, and for the ones with stronger parents, pretty much with a lifespan of like, a few days before they end up dying due to the autoimmunity. so what happens for those is, they have this Cool Ritual that makes them immortal and solves all their problems

basically what happens is: seelies are one with nature, correct? but they’re also, like, individuals. so they have their own magic, their own energy, their own life source. right? so what happens to these seelies is, they tie this life/magic source of theirs to that of the universe. they basically become one with the universe fully, instead of just guarding it and being connected to it, they are literally tied to it, so much so that their magic and the world’s magic is one and the same. basically their life is fed by the same source that feeds all life, even mortal ones, and that source is endless, so they become immortal. it’s not a cure per se, since it doesn’t really stop their blood from fighting itself, but it does solve the problem because it has endless energy to keep doing it. and after going through this magical ritual, they become basically the strongest seelies around, because they have access to very strong demonic and angelic magic and the like, natural source of the world. so that’s pretty cool

and this whole thing is like. absolutely top secret, no one but the seelies knows how it works or even that it exists. especially because the seelies used to be basically closed off to outside influences, besides the very few representants they had going to the realms (like meliorn)

meliorn is one of those super powerful seelies, a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, who has gone through this ritual. which is one of the many reasons they’re, you know, a super powerful and respected Seelie Knight, sent to deal directly with shadowhunters and the highest threats they have to deal with, all by themself. no one would be crazy to go against them, because they are extremely powerful. it’s also why they had, to seelie standarts, been given a slap to the wrist for taking clary to twi - i mean, they didn’t even lose their position in a super trusted and highly important job, really? like yes they were tortured and don’t get me wrong, that was fucking awful dude, but i feel like the seelie queen could have been a lot more cruel, could have taken away their job (it would make sense to since they basically committed treason by seelie law) or exiled them, or maybe even killed them. but they got “just” a physical punishment. that’s. weird to say the least

so that’s why, because meliorn actually has a lot of leverage and importance. they have a rare condition, a lot of power that most seelies can’t dream of, and they are extremely smart and have knowledge of the culture of our realm, which most seelies don’t since their realm is closed to outsiders. the seelies can’t afford to lose them. and they know that, too, which is why they went so hard to help clary and take her to twi in the first place - they knew that they would be punished, but that it wouldn’t actually risk their position, or their influence

anyway! with the previous seelie queen gone, i like to think that meliorn becomes the new seelie queen (random hc that no one asked for: since i refuse to believe that seelies have any concept of gender, i think the position is called “seelie queen” because outsiders took a look at the first seelie queen, who’s very cis female-presenting, and were like “ah, is that your queen?” and to seelies that basically translates to just “monarch” in whatever their language is, so they were just like yeah sure. and so the position is called that and they don’t even know that it’s supposed to be gendered and that to outsiders meliorn would probably be called seelie king, they are just like “i am the new seelie queen” and no one of course is going to fucking question why they didn’t gender the position, especially considering how fragile relations with the seelie realm are) or at least is given like, an important position or something. like tbh i don’t stan monarchy so :/ but anyway the point is, meliorn is super powerful, they are super smart, they have knowledge of the mundane, shadowhunter and etc cultures - and after the whole previous fiasco with the jonathan thing and the seelies having been basically kept from the other realms, despite the fact that as parts of nature, seelies should be able to wander between them as they please, i think they would want to start a radically new external policy, and who better than meliorn to help them do it? so yeah i think they would choose meliorn to be their queen. besides, they love the seelies more than anything. they might have disobeyed seelie law, but that was to like, save a whole ass realm lmao, but they’ve always had the seelies best interests at heart, hell, they were willing to be tortured twice for them. so i think they would be well liked, and want this new position, and treasure it not as a display of power, but as an opportunity to lead the people they love into better times

DISCLAIMER: i’m not saying that seelies bad or whatever, okay. tbh i do understand perfectly why they would want to close off their realm with the very real threat that shadowhunters presented, and i wouldn’t be dying to integrate with shadowhunter society either, especially considering that their idea of integration was just genocide and assimilation and the destruction of their culture. okay? but in the process, the seelie law and realm became cruel, first and foremost, towards seelies themselves, and the banishment of them from other realms is. very bad. and after the whole jonathan and valentine thing, the shadow society as a whole is being reconstructed, so what better time to try and create new alliances that won’t implicate into attempts of assimilation, etnocide and so on. it’s a new bet, basically, one that is only possible because shadowhunter society is also in shambles after the near destruction of the world, and this means that seelies have more leverage to try and build something new without yielding to them. and it’s a SLOW process, one that takes years and always has the seelies best interest’s, not the shadowhunter’s or anyone else’s, at heart, okay? and it implicates in shadowhunters giving them many concessions, and the strongest alliances between them are and will always be with the other downworlders - this is also something they are working on, making the different downworlder cultures closer and stronger politically, aiding each other mutually and helping each other reach their political goals. together, the downworlder societies are unbeatable, and the shadowhunters basically have no choice but to accept their demands, especially after so much destruction. plus, at least some of them are slightly more willing to. but it’s mostly a vicious political battle that takes all of them years, not to say decades, to settle

but the fact that the seelies are willing to do it and getting stronger relationships with warlocks and vampires and werewolves (and hoo here i come with my “maia and raphael start a vampires/werewolves alliance” hc because look that rivalry thing is STUPID and i want to see downworlder societies coming closer together and healing after being very obviously pitted against each other due to shadowhunter supremacy) is also what, well, allows the whole thing to happen. they are powerful, and the shadowhunters have no way of taking them on a war, much less now that their forces are well, fragile to say the least

in short! they have leverage now. and that makes it possible for them to try a new external policy that wasn’t in the table before, and their main interest in doing that is helping themselves, because seelies are tired of living in constant fear in a basically military state where they’re confined to the same realm despite them being supposed to be guardians of all of them. like that’s gotta affect their mental health, if they’re one with nature, wouldn’t being kept away from it be like being isolated from your loved ones? isn’t that deprivation? so like. this is about them, not the shadowhunters and how great their society is and how much they want to be a part of them, okay

anyway! so the seelies have designed a plan (because under meliorn’s rule everyone participates in political decisions because hmmm *checks notes* i said so) to make stronger alliances with the other downworlders. the first thing they offer them all is a little token of alliance. to vampires, they offer the possibility of becoming a dayligher - something they can easily do with their angel magic, not to mention, you know, blood -; to werewolves, magical amulets that help them keep their wolf under control, not turning without meaning to and being able to live a relatively normal life if they so choose; and to warlocks, knowledge of seelie magic

and of course magnus in particular eats that shit right UP because he’s a naturally curious person and a genius and a physichist and holy shit i love him so fucking much. seelies have so much more knowledge of physics and magic and their natural workings, so much so that it makes him dizzy because hell, the possibilities, and all the shit he can learn, okay. all this knowledge that was currently being kept away, and the warlocks get to learn about it (or well, part of it. obviously the seelies aren’t going to go around spilling EVERYTHING to them all at once before they even know if their token is accepted and whatnot. but they do teach those who are interested a lot of stuff, maybe create some sort of seelie-warlock magical school/course/programme/look you GET IT to strengthen their relationships as a whole?? boy i eat that shit UP). he’s just losing his mind here

super cute to think about alec coming home to find a very disheveled magnus surrounded by books and notes, hair and clothes rumpled and just a whole mess as he excitedly reads and writes and runs around to get a different book and draw parallels, okay. and alec smiles and has to be like “have you eaten?” and magnus looks up from his books all suddenly like “hm? oh hello alexander, i didn’t see you there”, “have you eaten?” “i don’t remember” “okay, i’ll make you something, you can keep reading” and magnus smiling all like “thank you” and diving right back into the notes in Super Hyperfocus + Hyperfixation Mode as he figures out, like, a thousand new spells (obviously warlocks can’t use seelie magic because they come from different sources they don’t have access to, but like, the knowledge is enough for them to create so much new stuff okay), btw. but anyway, ANYWAY

and to shadowhunters the seelies offer, i dont know, a soggy cheeto or something faiojdsajdasj look it’s not like the seelies owe them so they basically offer a truce and maybe authorization to explore certain parts of the seelie realm in small guarded groups? i dont know, in exchange for them and all other downworlders having a power and a vote in the new shadowhunter laws, and the whole proccess of reconstruction of their society. and the shadowhunters agree, after vicious infighting of course 

so anyway years pass and things are blossoming, downworlder societies are stronger than ever and phucking florishing dude, shadowhunters suck less, seelies finally get to wander around like they’ve been wanting to for centuries, there’s been some neato cultural exchange, magnus is still figuring out spells and shit at an alarming rate to anyone who doesn’t know what a goddamn genius he is. and shadowhunter society is- well, changing, but there’s a kind of cultural war going on, you know, with such a strong shift in paradigm so sudden. the changes in schooling and shit that were brought on by the new accords kind of ensure that the newest generations are getting a very different view and education, but there’s still a lot of infighting from shadowhunters who want to undo all that hard work, which is of course still fragile because it’s only starting

and alec of course takes a primary role in that fight, being the greatest representative of the progressive shadowhunters’ (?) and their downworlder allies’ interests, inside shadowhunter society. like don’t get me wrong it’s not like he’s leading the downworlders, the downworlders are doing all that hard work so they can get their own destiny back into their own hands and not be led by shadowhunters anymore, but within shadowhunter society, alec is a leader and their greatest ally slash eye in the inside, defending the policies that downworlders create and letting them know what is going on inside of the clave. basically preparing a cultural war. you get it

so naturally alec is a threat to conservative shadowhunters and they’re trying to strip him off his runes all the time, and there’s even been a few (quickly failed) assassination attempts, you know, the whole. drama. and he plays an important role for this whole game, and magnus has been studying the whole immortality ritual thing, and yeah, the seelies offer to put him through the ritual

it’s a matter of political leverage (and okay maybe a personal favor to meliorn’s dear friend magnus, but like, mostly political leverage). first of all, making alec immortal gives him a lot of power within shadowhunter society, not unlike meliorn and being the child of super powerful parents. second of all, no need to worry about assassination attempts, they can’t fucking kill him! third of all, clear message - alec has powerful allies, way more powerful than the shadowhunters can dream of, and if shadowhunter society is willing to create real, lasting equality with downworlders, they have a lot to gain. if not, they have a lot to lose, because the seelies have literal power over life and death. also, alec better watch his step, too, because, you know. he owes them that one. they are not stupid, they know alec has been looking for a way of becoming immortal for years now, know how much he desires this. it’s also about keeping his loyalty, and making sure he doesn’t forget, he’s supposed to be their ally too

and there are a lot of like, security things in place. alec will not be able to see or hear anything, he will not be taught how the ritual works (not even warlocks know that yet), he will not be taught about its forces, it will happen in the seelie realm and he will go alone, and no other shadowhunter will be granted that unless the seelies themselves offer at a later time, you know, etc etc. they list off things and precautions he has to agree to for like, half an hour, and honestly they could have added “alec will have to eat a piece of the moon” and alec would be like “okay fine great let’s do this”

magnus is fucking terrified

first, because well, they have never attempted to do that on someone who isn’t a seelie, and while they have figured out a pretty damn good understanding of how it works and are pretty sure it should go smoothly, there’s no way to actually tell. it might not work. alec might regret it. does he really want this? to become immortal? he doesn’t have to say yes, and magnus will not be upset, because he would never, ever demand such a huge sacrifice from him-

and alec’s like “nope i want this let’s go” which only terrifies magnus more because it feels like he’s being impulsive, you know? and he doesn’t know if there’s any turning back from this. but alec is like “magnus, when have i ever been impulsive? i’m not impulsive, i’m just sure of what i want, and there’s no reason to dwell on it because that’s already done.” alec is an expert at dwelling on things, and when he makes a decision, it’s because that part has already been thoroughly done, with every single possible argument being exhausted and taken apart minuciously and careful. there’s no room for doubt anymore, because if there had even a spectre of it, alec would still be ruminating. he doesn’t make a decision until he’s sure, but by god, once he makes it, he is sure, and nothing will stop him

so he reassures magnus of that (“hey, look at me. i’m not doing this on a whim. i have been looking for something like this for years. i’ve given it a lot of thought. besides, the seelies reasoning is good, too; i do want to have the time to dedicate myself to these changes, to building a new society, and with that, i can do it. there’s so much i want to live and see and do, magnus. and i want to do it by your side, yes, always, forever, but it’s not just about that. this is my decision. i’m not doing it for you. you won’t owe me anything because of it. you won’t have to make it up for it. because i’m doing it for myself. okay?”) and magnus kind of chokes up and hugs him and cries because he’s so overwhelmed by everything, the fear and the adoration and the relief of knowing that alec isn’t doing this just because of him, because if he had, magnus would forever feel like he was ruining his life, like he was indebted, like he would have to make up for it. but alec wants this. truly. and he doesn’t have to- worry anymore, this constant weight in his head, that tells him this has an expiration date, you’re gonna lose him. look at how much time you’re wasting with all of this, he’ll be gone before you even notice. there’ll be no turning back, and you’ll regret it forever. and fuck it’s just- so much, okay

so alec hugs him and they repeat to each other, i love you, i love you, i love you, and the next day, alec accepts the seelies’ offer. 

and magnus is- fuck, terrified, because he can’t even go with him, can’t even watch. there’s nothing he can do but wait

but everything goes relatively smoothly and alec emerges from the seelie realm exactly as before, no change to be noted, not even when magnus scanned him with his magic - it’s all still there. still a shadowhunter, still the same runes, the same face, the same hazel eyes, the same smile and voice, and when he hugs and kisses magnus, it feels like just the same

and then i suppose alec can now, like, talk to trees or something, since he’s connected to the whole force of nature and whatnot. i don’t think he would be able to use magic, because like i said, he’s still the same and a shadowhunter so it’s more that his angelic magic is stronger? but he’s fucking immortal dude, and he can like talk to trees, which is at the very least funny as hell (cracky images of alec discussing with some shadowhunter asshole and he’s like, even your SUCCULENT is tired of you!! but i digress)

anyway the point is, it works both in the sense of immortal alec, baby! and the whole political leverage thing, and they basically revolutionize all of shadowhunter society and alec lives to see the results of that besides magnus, and meliorn is the greatest seelie queen ever, and the downworlder societies are all happy and blossoming and getting their best life, and everyone is happy, and the bigoted shadowhunters die and are hated by their own plants. the end

[lesbian-octoling]

Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!! 

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 3 reaction

Alexia was the MVP of the episode. Daphne needs a restraining order.

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Three men and an obnoxious whiny baby they inexplicably let hang around with them

Lucas at his locker Monday morning. The locker next to him is #24, the words Amor Amor and #instalove are written on it. #24 is also the slot for the choco bars that Eliott got for them in episode 1. Is that going to be Lucas and Eliott’s version of 21? What’s the significance of 24 - maybe 24 hours in a day, a day meaning a full period of both light and darkness? If we want to get Biblical, Luke 24 is the last chapter in the gospel of Luke and describes Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, although I don’t know if they’re going to go heavily into the Biblical/rebirth metaphors in Skam France (they’re going with light and dark). Anyway, any significance will become more obvious later in the season.

 The boy squad shows up. Basile starts talking and when I first watched this without subtitles, my notes were “I don’t know what he’s saying but he needs to shut up.”

Watching with subtitles? I was right, Basile can fucking chill. He blows up at Lucas because he missed the party and he could’ve gotten laid. Even Arthur and Yann, who weren’t overly warm with Lucas when they entered, are telling Basile to calm down. Arthur tells Basile it wasn’t the party of the year. Yann, upon hearing the excuse that something’s up with Lucas’ mom, says who cares, the party’s in the past, diffusing the situation. Basile shuts up seemingly because the other two are chill.

I get that people aren’t perfect and that Lucas did something snaky on them, but Basile is so fucking creepy, Jesus. He’s not just peeved, he’s like ... seriously angry that he missed a chance to get laid, and he keeps up his tantrum after Lucas starts mentioning a problem at home, with his mom. Glad to know his priorities are fully aligned with his dick? It gives me the nastiest, skeeviest vibes, like this dude is going to end up frequenting incel forums in a year or two (if not sooner) and after his friends finally get sick of his shit and ditch him he’ll be railing against Lucas and Yann and calling them Chads or whatever.

The one good thing about Basile being terrible is that I think it made Yann and Arthur chill out, like they must have thought, “Holy shit, I need to not be like this guy.” Lucas explaining about his mom seemed to dial down their annoyance because they’re, you know, normal human beings with empathy that extends outside of their penile excursions. When Lucas hands back the weed to Arthur and offers to pay for it later, Arthur says not to worry about it. Man, this season is a lot better than the first two but I kind of hate Skam France for deciding that Basile was going to be the boy squad breakout and not Arthur.

Yann checks in with Lucas after the others leave and asks whether his mom is at the clinic, so I’m assuming that’s something that has happened in the past. I don’t remember hearing about Isak’s mom being in a clinic or psychiatric hospital. I mean, it actually might be a good thing, in that Lucas’ mom is willing and able to seek treatment - or it might be something else that’s concerning, like she’s a danger to herself or unable to take care of herself. I’m sure we’ll learn more about her condition later. Lucas tells Yann he doesn’t want to talk about it and Yann is a total pal and says the important thing is to be there for her. God, can we please get more Yann content? I know it’s coming later, I know Lucas has to go through some serious heartache and isolation first, but I need Yann’s presence like I need a cool drink of water.

Yann must have triggered Lucas’ guilt over not being there for his mom, because Lucas writes a text to her, saying he’s sorry for not answering her previous texts and that he’s been busy, but he’s thinking of her. Nice little moment of cause-and-effect, though I wonder how Lucas’ relationship is going to be with her later on and how he’ll describe it to Eliott. Because he doesn’t seem to be as totally alienated from her as Isak, though it’s still a rocky and distant relationship.

Clip 2 - Alexia loves unicorns

I see the Raptors’ logo on the wall so you know, nice that they still exist.

Lucas sees Chloé and Maria coming and runs away into the common room, lmao. Daphne, Alexia, and Emma are in there, and I have no idea why Daphne hides the broom behind her, like … you’re just sweeping the floor, girl, you ain’t pulling off a jewel heist. Although Lucas does suggest they’re burgling the room, heh. (I love Daphne’s rubber gloves, btw. She is taking this cleanup seriously.)

Lucas lies that he’s here to help them and Daphne is still weird about it, because it’s a secret and she doesn’t even want the girls to mention they’re moving the furniture. Emma “vaguely” says it’s so people can dance here. Lmao, that wasn’t really necessary, Emma, you could just have said they’re moving stuff out of the way to see how the room looks for their redesign or whatever. Lucas figures out that they’re throwing a party here, because he sat in on that last meeting and he’s not an idiot. Daphne complains that she doesn’t want anyone to know but she just blathers more about organizing an event. Errr, are you allowed to just throw a party at the school? Like … at night, on a Friday, with a bunch of teenagers, and no teacher supervision? I assume not. That seems like a huuuuuge fucking recipe for people to get drunk, make a mess, break shit, or in some way trash this room and possibly other parts of the school, and then you’ll never get your common room redone.

Lmao, at Alexia saying it’s OK because it’s Lucas and he’s not a snitch, and he and Emma just share a look like “Oh really?” Heh, that was a good (and subtle) inclusion. Well, it’s true that he is a snitch, it’s just that he’s also a self-serving snitch, and it’s not in his own best interests to rat out this party vs. ratting out Emma’s kissing Raptor Alex.

Alexia points out that Lucas is part of the crew now because he’s always gatecrashing, and Emma says he’s the new Manon, Alexis like, yeah, he even took her spot in the flat! They’re not wrong? He even took over from her as POV character! He just needs some bright red lipstick to complete the Manon transformation.

Daphne is like NO BOYS ALLOWED and I don’t blame her, she’s seen what kind of riffraff Lucas hangs with (starts with a B, ends with a go-fuck-yourself.)

Alex says Romain (her boyfriend who’s French Kasper) would love this ugly-ass table they’re moving and Emma points out she also has weird taste, indicating Alex’s unicorn shoes with little manes and horns. Yo, I don’t have an obsession with unicorns myself, but I applaud her wearing those shoes. Girl, wear whatever your technicolor heart desires.

Daphne is like, are those unicorns because you’re bi orrr … Alex says no, it’s because unicorns are awesome. OK, so she and Eliott are both into animals and attracted to more than one gender, that seems like a solid basis for a friendship. Let the Raccoonicorn brotp rise.

Daphne asks whether Romain knows she is bi, and Alex says no, but sexuality is fluid, anyway. Tbh I do find it strange that Romain does not know, not because she’s obligated to tell him or anything, just because in a long-term relationship (which it is, they hooked up like last June) I’d think you would share details like that? I mean, hasn’t she ever talked about her female exes or crushes or anything with him? Especially because she seems to be quite out and proud, she was openly talking about making out with Clara in S1, she has rainbow patches on her clothes. She also makes bisexuality-related posts on Instagram, like this one. I guess we don’t know much about her relationship with Romain and how serious it is, but is he like ... not paying attention at all, lmao?

Alex mentions the Kinsey scale and Lucas asks what that is, because this conversation about sexuality just so happens to be relevant to his interests. She explains what it is and mentions that many people have done stuff with the same sex. Just look at Emma and Daphne hooking up! 

I did laugh that they mentioned that again, although Daphne is like NO NO NO that was one time and Emma initiated it!! Daphne, don’t dash my dreams. Especially now that she’s got creepy Basile after her; Daphne should find a nice girl to love and SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN in every way possible.

Emma describes herself as very fluid when drunk and ahhHHHHHH I groaned, like this is not a judgment call on Emma or anyone who behaves similarly because hey, make out with who you want, but this is not the greatest thing to reinforce, the whole “drunk girls making out” cliche is used to minimize the concept of bisexuality for woman (because that’s what you mean when you say you’re bi, right, you like to get drunk and kiss girls?). I mean, that’s where the complaint about the Eva/Vilde moment in Skam came from. It’s certainly different here because Alexia is actually bisexual in canon as opposed to no canon wlw rep in Skam, but I kinda wish they hadn’t thrown in this line in a scene that’s otherwise positive and educational about bisexuality. 

Lucas is like, but it’s cool to be bi, right? Because Alex can kiss as many girls as she wants and date a boy, and everyone thinks she’s straight. Ohhhhh noooooo son. But at least that’s definitely in-universe ignorance that’s immediately refuted by Alex pointing out it doesn’t work like that. Do you choose who you fall in love with? Lucas considers that.

This is a big new scene so let’s go over it. 

First of all, massive props to Skam France for having Alex confirm in words on screen that she is bisexual, and for course-correcting from previous seasons. Because personally I had a problem with Alex bi by Word of God but that factor not affecting like … her dialogue or interactions at all even when it would be relevant. For instance, the whole thing about Daphne thinking Manon is a lesbian played out the same way as Vilde thinking Noora is a lesbian, even when there was an out bisexual girl in the same scene, so Alex might not react the same way as girl Chris, or it might influence how Manon or Daphne reacted. Didn’t the girl squad laugh when Daphne brought this up and Daphne was all “your laughter makes this an unsafe environment to come out,” like that’s the kind of situation that should take into account one of the girls is bi, and yet there was nothing different? I think they took some of the viewer feedback in mind and saw that people wanted confirmation of Alex’s sexuality on screen, and that it was important to the fans, so good for them. They also had her say the word “bisexual” and treat it as a legit concept, which is still rare in media, as many canons just dance around it (to the point where I was surprised when Skam’s boy squad discussed bisexuality/pansexuality as a real thing).

Also, excellent to have Alex correct Lucas’ perception of her bisexuality, where basically she can mess around with girls but have a more serious thing with a guy, and no one has to know she’s anything but straight. Very common misconception of bisexuality, unfortunately a very dismissive perspective, and Alexia got to educate the audience. It was a really good thing for the viewers to hear, so again, big props. 

I think Lucas made that comment about Alex kissing girls but dating a boy and getting to appear straight primarily because that situation seemed ideal to him. In his mind, Alex probably seems lucky because she can act on her non-heterosexual desires but not deal with the prejudice and judgment that comes with dating your own gender. Perhaps he’s thinking he can apply it to himself, like in a way he’s hoping he can maybe mess around with Eliott in secret but date a girl in public and not deal with any of the societal stigma that comes with gay relationships. I think it’s also possible he’s wondering if that’s how Eliott’s sexuality operates, like hey, maybe Eliott’s bi and he’ll date that girl, but kiss me. When really it’s not that simple. 

Additionally, thinking of bisexuality in that distorted, superficial way means Lucas might not have to confront his own sexuality to a degree that makes him uncomfortable. If bisexuality is simple as kissing girls but dating boys - or in Lucas’ case, kissing boys but dating girls - then he can maybe leave it like that, he doesn’t really have to think about it further, what it means to fall in love with a boy. Almost like it would be an easy gratification of needs like eating or sleeping, rather than anything deeper that would shake up his world. Alexia points out it’s not like that. Why would she date some guy if the person she loves is a girl? You don’t choose who affects you emotionally.

Honestly the lead-in to this conversation was pretty clunky, like they obviously wanted to bring up bisexuality (which is great!) but they could’ve done it in a more organic way, much as I appreciated a glimpse of Alex’s unicorn shoes. Like IDK, when they’re talking about keeping the party a secret, Alexia could’ve added, “Well I admit, I told Clara about the party, too” and have Daphne go “You talk to your ex-girlfriend? Doesn’t Romain get jealous?” and Alexia be like “... why would he be?” You know, throw in another little moment where Alex disputes the “bisexual cheater” stereotype or something like that. Not sure if that example’s any better, just that I felt the way Daphne brought up the topic sounded a little As You Know.

I feel like while this conversation might have done a lot of good for the audience, the talk about the Kinsey Scale might have done more harm for Lucas than good, which is certainly not Alex’s fault, and also not a flaw of the narrative, just an observation. Because while I think it’s good to hear that someone doesn’t have to feel boxed in by definitions of sexuality, I don’t think Lucas is sexually fluid for any reason other than societal pressure to like girls. He makes out with them but it doesn’t appear to be something he enjoys, rather it’s something he makes himself do (which is how it was for Isak, if they’re following Isak’s example). It’s way different than if he had some attraction to girls but was struggling with his attraction to guys on top of that. And trying to test out his level of gayness or whatever, when his actions say one thing and his desires say something totally different, is probably going to make it more complicated for him than it needs to be. 

Although one thing I want to mention is that Alex does know what Lucas had on his phone at the end of S1. We were shown in S2 that Manon and Emma must have shared it with her and possibly the other girls. So I don’t know if she cares about his sexuality to the extent that say, Manon does, but she is aware that he might be into guys. It’d be nice if she said her piece with that in mind.

Regarding Lucas’ relationship with the girl squad - it’s really sweet and of course nice to see him bonding with them, I just wonder if it isn’t cutting into the sense of isolation and detachment that he’s supposed to be feeling at this point in time. I’ve enjoyed seeing him smile and laugh with the girls as much as anyone, but they did make a point of detachment as a main struggle for his character. I mean, the opening clip of the season was literally called “Disconnected” and showed him distant from everyone. Sorry, Lucas, not that I like to see you have a hard time, but for that reason I kinda don’t want you to be buddy-buddy with the girl squad too quickly and easily. He doesn’t have to be downright frosty but I’d rather see this friendliness as more gradual, otherwise it cuts a little into the overall atmosphere.

I think these girl squad interactions are best used as a counter to the stress with the boy squad, and the differences in social pressure he gets from the squads, and also for some of the educational moments that he could get from Alex as a member of the LGBT community.

Clip 3 - Gay test

Lucas is at home at night, staring up at the ceiling while he’s on his laptop. Considering or psyching himself up for what he’s going to do. He googles gay test. The link he clicks on isn’t so much about personality/stereotypes, as with Isak but actual sexual actions, fantasies, and attraction, in the past, currently, and ideally. 

He checks all the “other sex only” options, and like … a) he is lying about some of that since we know he obviously had a crush on Yann and is attracted to Eliott, we know he’s not exclusively daydreaming or hoping for the opposite sex - not to mention he doesn’t seem to really want girls at all b) this quiz is kinda fucked up because past actions don’t actually determine one’s sexuality, like if you’re hooking up with girls because of heteronormative pressure rather than genuine attraction, that’s not an indication you’re bi, that’s an indication you live in a homophobic society. Which everyone does. 

I don’t get how he actually got a “bisexual” result, though? It looks like he checked the straightest answers possible, everything was about the opposite sex, so how would you get anything other than the most heterosexual possible score (in this case 7)? Did I miss something in translation? 

I do feel bad for him because he was probably looking for some verification that he wasn’t gay, and the quiz told him he wasn’t entirely straight. He searches for “how to make it so no one knows you’re gay.” OUCH. So he knows, just like Isak did, that these results don’t mean a damn thing about whether he’s gay.

Tangent but like when Skam Italia S2 aired, I saw a fair number of comments comparing Isak to his remake counterparts, claiming that Isak was in super denial that he was gay or flat-out wasn’t sure at this point, whereas Lucas knows but doesn’t want to say it (or Martino knew he was gay but was struggling with external homophobia so he couldn’t come out) and not to be insufferable but: Isak knew he was gay. He wasn’t in denial of that any more than Lucas was here, tbh. What he was struggling with was the label “gay” and all the stereotypes and generalizations associated with it, and how that reflected on himself, as well as the social perception of being gay and how people would see him. What happened with Emma was a result of him trying to avoid those associations. But he asks Google how to get turned on by girls if you’re gay, he knows what he is even if he’s not comfortable with all that label entails to him. 

He finds a forum where someone details their strategy. This sparked some theorizing because the person posting is “Tuturo” and Arthur’s IG handle is “monvoisintuturo” (which is a My Neighbor Totoro reference - I love that because Isak had a subtle reference to that film in the first season of Skam, with a poster on his wall). Coincidence? Is this a real post on a forum that they found or something they made up for the show? It’s dated 22/08/2017. Of course, they could have found that post, and invented Arthur’s IG around it...

Arthur being gay (or not straight, at least) would be one hell of a twist. Honestly, I doubt that’s what they’re headed toward, because the advice in the post doesn’t really align with what we’ve seen of Arthur’s personality so far. Sure, he’s not necessarily the most enlightened dude in every way, but we don’t see him lashing out with homophobic slurs and shit-talking gay people, we don’t see him with a hot girlfriend for cover. So he’s not taking his own advice. It would have been better foreshadowing if they’d set him up more along those lines, so we can see the hints other than his username. Then again, the post is from 2017 so I guess he could have grown away from that mindset or grown uncomfortable with it... But yeah, although I find the idea really intriguing, I’m not sold on it actually happening unless there are some bigger hints. 

The advice is stuff like talk about girls all the time, get a hot yet prudish girlfriend, use gay slurs and show how angry gay people make you. We get Lucas’ voiceover as he reads the post and tbh I wish they’d not done that, like it worked fine when Isak was sitting there and they just showed the message for the viewers, like I get that it’s a longer message and they want to make it obvious, but they don’t have to spoon feed it to us. I guess it helps to hear it in Lucas’ voice so we can sense him internalizing it, but it’s still unnecessary. Maybe they could have just shown closeups of the most important phrases.

Clip 4 - Daphne rules the world

It’s the dance chicks clip. Alexia is a dancer! We saw her doing some gymnastics in previous seasons so that’s a nice touch.

I’m realizing that this clip is one of those things in the remakes where the production team needs to be careful, because the clip is about male gaze, but there’s also a line where the depiction of male gaze turns into an endorsement of it, if that makes sense. Like I want it to be clear that the boy squad is panting over and objectifying the girls, but you don’t want the show itself to objectify them. This clip stopped before it got too sleazy for me, so that was appreciated.

Instead of being disinterested like Isak was, Lucas is joining his bros as they drool over the girls. They’re watching through a window by the way, which is creepier than the boys being in the same room and the girls knowing of their presence - it’s a milder version of peeking into the girls’ locker room like it’s an ‘80s teen sex comedy or something. 

Arthur resting his chin on Lucas’ shoulder is cute, though.

Lucas is saying some bullshit about how not all the girls are hot, which is kinda funny because lol none of the girls are hot to him, and how he wouldn’t let that girl suck him off, which is also kinda funny because we know you don’t want that, dude, but he’s also trying to be a fuckboy which is not funny. 

It’s objectifying as fuck and not funny when you consider his internalized homophobia but I couldn’t help but laugh when he’s like “That girl is hot because she has big boobs” because it sounds like a robot trying to emulate human sexual attraction. Breasts, those certainly are things heterosexual men appreciate!

The other guys are like wow, even Basile isn’t as awful as you. I beg to differ. (Apparently Basile says something that’s relevant to #MeToo, like he wants to get laid but he’s also #MeToo, and get the fuck out of here with that shit, dude. Nothing about your dancing later in the episode says you’re against sexual harassment.) Lucas responds by calling them a gay slur. Lovely! The dudes are like, what’s up with that? Arthur calls it a “closeted homosexual comeback” which is a pet peeve of mine, the belief that homophobes are just closeted gay people, since it removes culpability from straight people (and you know, is not accurate). But he’s a teenage dude and well, Lucas is a closeted gay guy so I’m not gonna get mad about it. Though damn, if Arthur were gay and closeted that would be some good foreshadowing. Takes one to know one?

They get spotted by the teacher and duck under the window. Basile is disgusting. The boys ask what the fuck is wrong with him. Basile does not listen to them because he’s incapable of hearing anything over the constant buzzing in his dick and instead starts telling the boys about his BDSM dream about Daphne and the boys try to get him to shut the fuck up as Daphne appears behind him, but obviously he rambles about his boner until he turns around and does this slapstick-y reaction. I cannot stand him. I’m not as angry about the BDSM dream because he was telling the guys and not trying to tell Daphne on purpose, but this kind of content overall just reinforces him as the bumbling loser comic relief and he’s not fucking funny, he’s deeply creepy and is an actual sexual harasser as we see later in the episode. 

At least Daphne says it’s all a fantasy in his head and never going to happen. ❤️❤️❤️ FUCKING TELL HIM. DESTROY HIM. She continues to be the best character on Skam France. Daphne asks what they’re doing there and Lucas says they’re checking out the hot chicks. Daphne tells them they suck (❤️❤️❤️) before walking off. The other guys are like, seriously Lucas? “Hot chicks”? Well, I don’t see quite how what he said is any worse than what Basile says constantly, including to girls’ faces, so maybe it’s a translation thing? The “hot chicks” phrasing has stronger meaning in French?

Arthur asks if Basile is OK and he says, “I fucked it all up.” DUDE you had ALREADY fucked it up from the time you first opened your mouth around her. And as we see, this does not deter him at all. God!!!!! Please fuck off into the void already.

I’m glad they called out Lucas a little but again, don’t see how he was being any more disgusting than Basile is on a regular basis regarding the misogyny. They didn’t say anything overtly anti-homophobic about Lucas using slurs, like really call him out other than some shocked reaction at him using that word. So I suppose there’s a little more ambiguity over whether they’ll be accepting of Lucas’ sexuality. (I mean, I think they’ll accept him based on what we know about OG, but in-universe there isn’t as much of a tip-off.) I did miss that more educational moment, but I also think that because Lucas still has some Operation Hetero tactics to implement later that day, he might need to not be roasted for his behavior so strongly or who knows, maybe he’d back down. (The OG had Isak apologize to Emma and then the dance chicks clip with Jonas calling him out; this version switches the scenes around.)

Clip 5 - Love confession?

Later, Lucas sees the boy squad in the yard, then he sees Chloé and Maria. Prompted by the need to seem heterosexual in front of the guys and inspired by what he read the previous night, he goes over to Chloé to get himself a hot girlfriend. 

Lucas apologizes to her and he sounds more sincere than fuckboy-ish, which I think fits because the way he pursued her in the first place was not that fuckboy-ish. Slick, but he wasn’t negging her or anything. However, sounding sincere is not being sincere, because this is the biggest crock of shit I’ve heard out of this kid’s mouth this season. It’s so uncomfortably over-the-top, he’s telling her that he met a beautiful first year and he thought it would be casual but actually he’s falling madly in love with her, and OK, slow down. How long have you guys even talked to each other? 10, 15 minutes? Do you know anything about her?

I get Lucas is struggling but I also want to give him a kick in the nuts before he gets another word out and digs that hole deeper because oh my God this is fucking b a d, honestly, way worse than what Isak did to Emma - what Isak did to Emma was not cool, but he was mostly just giving her the indication that he was into her and had a crush, NOT that he had fallen in love with her and had all these deep emotions for her. It’s really cruel to her. (Although girl … are you really gonna fall for this dramatic monologue when you’ve talked to him like three times?) 

He talks about how he’s not handling these feelings well because it’s never happened before, thinking about a girl before he goes to sleep and before he wakes up, wondering what to say to her when he runs into her, and well, I sure as fuck buy it’s never happened about a girl before and that it’s not happening about a girl now. But of course he’s talking about Eliott. He’s just transplanting his feelings for a boy to this fake infatuation with a girl. Lucas blames his behavior on not wanting to seem awkward. Well, I can buy that, just not about Chloé.

Despite this load of floral horseshit, Chloé buys it, because well, she is a teenager. She kisses him passionately right there in the yard. The boy squad sees and approves (Yann’s reactions are particularly funny). Heterosexual mask, securely on.

Lucas walks over and he BETTER not be giving Basile pointers because the last thing Basile needs is encouragement, but nope, that’s what he does, he offered to give Basile lessons. This is like telling Tom Riddle about horcruxes. 

Eliott thankfully interrupts Lucas contributing to Basile’s dicktermination. Did Eliott see Lucas and Chloé kissing? I don’t think so, but man, I kinda wished he did just for the angst. He doesn’t know Lucas is pissed at him yet, he doesn’t know Lucas is gonna bro-zone him in a moment.

Eliott returns Lucas’ scarf. It’s actually Yann’s scarf and Yann seems very happy to have it back, awww. Lucas gets forcibly casual with Eliott. He’s not mean, not rude, exactly, just trying to play off their connection as nothing. They’re casual acquaintances and it’s gonna stay that way. 

Lucas volunteers that Eliott found it in the common room before Eliott can explain how it got it. The acting is pretty good. You can tell Eliott is kinda stung by this greeting, especially when Lucas is like “thanks dude” in an overly platonic way. Which Eliott returns. Eliott is like a warm, friendly guy and that makes it a bummer to see how Lucas reacts and how that makes Eliott deflate.

With Isak and Even, Even noticed Isak’s discomfort in the situation and covered for him, lied for him about finding the hat in the cafeteria. It was a moment that made me love Isak and Even’s relationship before they even got together because even though Isak wasn’t at his best, it was a mark of their connection that Even could read him so easily and didn’t press the situation. Here Lucas shuts out Eliott, he’s covering his own ass. And I’m not sure if Eliott totally realizes what’s going on or if he does pick up on why Lucas is suddenly dude-ing it up and lying. I think he might just be hurt. 

Arthur asks about Eliott, and Lucas starts talking shit about how he’s a stalker with no friends. LMAO. Lucas, the stalker is you, the creeper is you, you were legit just stealing classroom registers over Eliott, you were scouring the Internet for clues of his existence, you are projecting like an IMAX. 

They get invited to Daphne’s party via text, but Lucas is clearly distracted and looking off toward where Eliott went. What a contrast in assessments between Lucas telling us how he’s falling for Eliott by way of telling Chloé it’s about her, and him downplaying and trashing Eliott to his friends. I don’t feel like he can relax around his friends at all.

Clip 6 - Secret school party

There’s a giant group of people gathered outside the gates of the school at night, with the girl squad in front, lots of people in costumes. Time for Daphne’s party.

Ehhh … see this is a fun setup, breaking into the school to have a party, it really is, but in context it’s kinda contrived IMO. I guess Daphne got peer pressured into doing it, I know she wants people to find the common room the cool place to be, but I find it hard to believe someone who’s legitimately invested into fixing up the common room like she is would risk a) getting in trouble for trespassing on school grounds b) dealing with any damage/repairs to the room that happen during the party, like if your plan is to fix up the common room, isn’t the likely potential that someone could break stuff or trash the room worse for your ultimate goal? I fully realize teenagers do a lot of stupid reckless stuff, but I’d find this party more believable if it were thrown by people who did not have a vested interest in the repair and upkeep of that part of the school. For example, if it had been the Raptors throwing a party at school after hours last season, sure, I buy that.

I feel like they just had this because they had to have a party in episode 3 (like in OG Skam) that was related to the school group/project that linked the POV character and his love interest (like in OG) and something about them hosting the party at another character’s house didn’t fit, not when the project is centered around another location.

One way that I would have found this scenario more plausible: Daphne tries to throw a much much smaller get-together, maybe just invite the common room crew, keep it under wraps, nothing extravagant, but word gets out more and more people show up (because who doesn’t want to break into the school at night) and turn it into this big thing and it gets out of hand. We see it go from just a few people hanging around drinking to something wilder, she starts freaking out because it’s too much. Even with the “password” system it seems like she had something bigger in mind from the beginning and IDK, even with Daphne being a social climber, even with teenagers being idiots, it rings a bit off. Sorry to be a buzz kill, like I said, it’s an entertaining scenario in theory.

Anyway, they’re at the school, people are in costume and waiting outside. Basile is wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume. Do you think he wanted the whole squad to go as the turtles, but they did not? They give him weird looks, but dressing as Donatello is legit the least objectionable thing he has done so far this season.

Daphne is dressed as a cat, keeping that Vilde tradition alive.

Lucas has the paint streaks on his cheeks, which is a fun nod to OG and also fitting for the infiltration theme of the party.

Imane says they don’t need the password, Daphne says they do in case there’s a spy. Errr I don’t think a password is going to do you much good. If there’s a mole, I’m sure they got the details from someone else, unless like a 50-year-old teacher is hoping to sneak in unnoticed.

Lol at Yann’s face when he puts on his hood for the “infiltration.” He’s had some great background reactions this episode.

Daphne asks the crowd if they’re ready to infiltrate and they quietly cheer. Basile says “I’ll infiltrate YOU!” and FUCKING KILL HIM, I’M TIRED OF THIS SHIT.

Daphne tells Emma she’s so nervous she almost wore a diaper in case she wet herself and DO NOT LET BASILE HEAR THAT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SAY THAT SHIT WITHIN A FIVE-BLOCK RADIUS OF THAT GUY UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO START HAVING DIAPER FANTASIES ABOUT YOU IN ADDITION TO BDSM DREAMS.

The gate opens and people cheer because apparently everyone’s an idiot who forgot about the request for discretion 10 seconds ago. Teenagers, man.

Yeah, this is fun in like a Hollywood teen movie way but kinda throwing me out of the story, like even the way the crowd is reacting feels too staged and TV-ish. You know IRL when there’s a group of teenagers rowdy and ready to party, they wouldn’t be super unified in their reactions like that, there would be some d-bags not listening, not paying attention to Daphne, they’d be fucking around and doing their own thing. Nothing inherently wrong with this style but not really what I like from Skam, just my preference!

Clip 7 - Giant neon costume party

There’s like a full-ass rave happening in the school and it’s fun but not to be repetitive, feels more like a Hollywood teen movie even in the scope of the party and the way it’s filmed. Especially - and I’m sorry for harping on this but also, not sorry at all - because Basile’s characterization reminds me of one of those stock characters from those films, like that typical obnoxious loser who’s desperate to get laid and ends up banging Stifler’s mom or something.

Basile slumps next to Alexia and says he’s gonna throw up, she says he’ll be fine. She’s a lovely person, but I want to be like RUN AWAY DO NOT ENGAGE.

She points out that Emma and boy Alex are making out and Basile positively jizzes in his turtle onesie, being like THEY’RE GONNA FUCK???? IN THE SCHOOL???? Is it that outrageous of a concept? What did you think was going to happen when you invited a bunch of drunk teenagers to party after hours? 

A girl who looks a bit like Elisabeth Moss walks by and makes eyes at Alexia. Must be Clara! Basile is like, a woman in the same room as me? Can you help me fuck her? Alex says no, it’s her ex, hands off, and that’s Romain’s cue to be like … OHHHH you are bisexual? Alexia cheerfully confirms this. You can see the boner popping in his pants already, let’s be real. Yikes, dude. Her attraction to women isn’t for your enjoyment.

Anyone else getting dancing old man from Six Flags commercials vibes from Arthur dancing in his costume?

Daphne is freaking out and looking out the window, trying to prevent people from smoking. Imane pulls her aside and says everyone’s having fun. Daphne says the smoke detectors might go off and they’ll be in trouble, Imane says she should’ve thought of that before throwing a party in the school. I mean ... yeah? That’s why I’m like, you’re freaking out about this now, you didn’t predict any of these blatantly obvious things that would happen?

Imane’s like “what’s the worst that could happen if they get caught, they won’t expel 50 students at once” and errr IDK, would they have to pay for repairs? Stay after school to clean up the mess? Would the school contact their parents? I can think of a lot of stuff that would suck.

Daphne and Imane go dance. Basile comes up and not only starts to force a dance with Daphne, but in a way that he’s thrusting his crotch against her, trying to touch her and get in her space. Poor Daphne grabs Imane and tries to swing out of the way to avoid him, literally swat him away with her costume’s cat tail. 

For fuck’s sake. I hate this guy, I hope Daphne eventually just punches him in the balls. Listen, I try not to talk like that, but this moment really pissed me off. It’s sexual harassment. Daphne has made it extremely clear to Basile that she is not interested in him. She has said it is never going to happen. And he still does not give up, and this was honestly the worst moment he’s done so far IMO because he’s actually physically bothering her, to the point where she grabs her friend as a shield, to the point where she’s having to swat him away. 

Tons of women have gone through this experience in real life. We’ve met those sleazy guys who would not take no for an answer. We’ve met those guys who wanted to press their bodies against you and grab you when you have zero interest in them. A lot of us have experiences of latching onto our female friends, or our trusted male friends, in an effort to escape these creeps. Imagine the nastiest guy you know in real life, the one who really sends red flags, and imagine him as Basile, yourself in Daphne’s situation. That’s why I don’t feel I’m overreacting here. 

What is the point of this? What is their primary goal with Basile’s character? Comic relief? Or is he meant to be a cautionary tale? Are they building up to a criticism of creepy guy behavior? Because the thing is, they have already established he’s gross. Daphne has rejected him, and he still wants to go after her. I don’t get what more she can do other than beat his ass or complain to the school or something. What, is it going to be like episode 5 when he finally takes a fucking hint? Why was it not obviously clear when she said it was never going to happen? When she tried to escape him at the party? If there’s a more substantial criticism coming, I am genuinely flabbergasted why made Basile 110% disgusting from the very beginning and had Daphne so openly hate his attention, because it feels like the lesson should have happened already. The point has been made. 

You know what could have worked better if they were trying to criticize toxic masculinity? Don’t start off Basile as super gross. Make him insecure, desperate, but not panting after Daphne and begging for her phone number. Have his creepiness escalate bit by bit throughout the season, directly encouraged by Lucas’ own fuckboy behavior. Show how those attitudes spread like a disease. Have Daphne show her disinterest, although she’s mostly just annoyed, until finally he crosses a line and then she blows up at him and says it’s never going to happen. Then that’s it. He leaves her the fuck alone. He learns from his mistakes, though he still doesn’t get with Daphne romantically. 

Lucas and Chloé are talking about music. Chloé happens to like old school rock like AC/DC and The Clash - coincidentally Lucas’ musical taste, as we learned last episode. I wonder if she actually likes them or she just stalked Lucas and found that information on like his Facebook profile. It’d be funny if she was trying to like what Lucas likes and Lucas was trying to likes what Eliott likes. Because suddenly Lucas isn’t a fan of The Clash anymore, he likes dubstep. Duuuuude, come on. I saw how you responded when Eliott put on that record. I’m just imagining Lucas sitting in his room, forcing himself to listen to dubstep because Eliott likes it, in the way you make a child eat Brussels sprouts.

Mika is at the party and lighting up the dance floor, Chloé says gay guys are so funny, they know how to party. Alexia and Imane who happen to be nearby react to that; Alexia says it was a stupid thing to say and Imane says it was a generalization. Chloé says actually it was a nice thing to say.

Okay, I wasn’t a fan of how they did this moment. The positive side: it’s nice that they made Alexia, a member of the LGBT community, react to that comment and call it out, and had Imane call it out as a generalization, because she as a black Muslim would also know about how generalizations affect marginalized groups.  

But no offense, I feel like both S3 remakes so far have missed the point of this moment as it pertains to our POV character. It’s not just a helpful educational moment for the audience. It’s meant as a lifeline to the Isak character. One of Isak’s greatest concerns is how he will be perceived as a gay man, in terms of stereotypes and generalizations. He fears “gay” is a box that will trap him in a certain image, he doesn’t want to be seen negatively as one of those flamboyant gay guys into tights and mascara. He associates “gay” with those generalizations and he fears the social repercussions of that label. We see that when he takes the gay test in episode 3, which is not a measure of attraction to men (as it was in Lucas’ “gay test”) but a collection of stereotypes about gay men’s personality and interests. When he puts down the dance teacher for acting too gay later in the episode, it’s because he wants to distance himself from that type of person. Which is why it’s really important when Even, the guy Isak likes, calls out Emma for using a generalization. Without even knowing the full impact of what he’s saying on Isak, Even provides a counter-argument to the idea that Isak can be summed up as a stereotype. He’s against assigning universal traits to diverse groups of people, and I think he recognizes the trivializing nature of Emma’s comment - gay people are funny to her, it’s like she thinks they’re there to entertain her, it’s this extremely othering remark. Emma is essentially doing something that Isak fears will happen to him if people know he’s gay - just stereotype him and lump him in with all gay people - and Even is there to shut it down. 

And you might say, well, Lucas isn’t Isak, so it doesn’t have to mean the same for him, and ... yeah, it doesn’t, but consider that Lucas’ struggle this week was not really about dealing with stereotypes and generalizations. His “gay test” had nothing to do with that at all. Instead, he was struggling with the exact definition of his sexuality, whether he’s gay or bi or straight, and he was trying to fit himself into a heterosexual box not by distancing himself from generalizations but by dating a girl and using homophobic slurs. Like there’s no moment where he calls out a gay guy for acting too gay. When he calls the boys a slur, it’s not actually a response to doing something perceived as gay. So for the “lesson” here to be the same as it was in the original series, and not tailored to Lucas’s specific struggle this week, is a missed opportunity. For example, I think it would have been better if Chloé used some casually homophobic language - not even maliciously, just in the sense that she’s ignorant and doesn’t realize she shouldn’t say some words as a straight girl - and Alex called her out for that. It would be a counterpoint to Lucas’ own behavior.

Also, I don’t think Lucas had a huge reaction to what Alex and Imane said, anyway; it didn’t seem spotlighted in the directing or acting so while it’s a good lesson for the audience to hear, it doesn’t mean a ton to his character’s state of mind. It’s one of those parts that I feel the remakes are recycling because it is important as a general idea, but I don’t feel like they necessarily get why it was there in terms of Isak’s characterization. 

Additionally, can’t lie, very disappointed that Eliott didn’t get this moment. I appreciate them giving Alexia a lot to do this season, but this part felt really big for Even in the original show, both in characterizing him and in showing how much Isak was affected by his words, because Isak really likes Even and values his opinion (you know, the whole Isak becoming Nas’ #1 fan in a week thing). This is the guy Isak has a crush on who’s shutting down homophobic stereotypes - that made it so important that this dialogue came from Even rather than anyone else. And on a personal note, that clip was the very first Skam clip I ever saw, and that specific moment where Even calls out Emma was not only the first part to impress me and grab my attention, but it made me love Even right off the bat. I loved that he could explain why positive generalizations are still bad because that’s a nuance I think plenty of people, both young and old, don’t understand. It just was a bit of a downer that this really powerful moment didn’t go to Eliott.

Lucas sees Eliott come in with his girlfriend. Eliott has a mask, covering the lower half of his face. How raccoon-ish? But very fitting for the theme of infiltration, and very fitting for his character to be ambiguous and mysterious.

Eliott’s girlfriend is named Lucille, lmao. Lucas and Lucille! Not weird at all! But what’s the significance of gving them both light-related names?

Of course we have the two pairs dancing, Lucas and Chloé and Eliott and Lucille. Lucas stares at Eliott in a very obvious way, like Isak could at least glance at Even over Emma’s shoulder. Lucas has to blatantly turn his head to look at Eliott. He smashes his face into Chloé’s while making eye contact with Eliott, and Eliott obviously sees this and takes it as a personal challenge. He makes out with Lucille and then stares Lucas in the eye. Again, very challenging. With Isak it was more like this painful longing watching Even kiss Sonja, and then Even looked at him not so much as a challenge but to convey his interest in Isak; Isak didn’t keep looking back for that long before he shut his eyes and kissed Emma, probably imagining it was Even. Lucas kissed Chloé first; Eliott was not making out with Lucille until he caught Lucas staring at him with his lips on Chloé’s. Then it was to convey interest and almost a dare for the other to look away first. Very bold of Lucas, although IDK if he was actually trying to issue a challenge or a fuck-you to Eliott or he’s just bad at impulse control. I think the “fuck you” was pretty implied. In more ways than one.

Not gonna lie, the eye-fucking went on long enough that if it had gone on a moment longer, it would start to feel like a parody to me. I was glad the music got cut off and the lights went on when they did.

Everyone bolts and runs out of the school, Daphne seems to be behind everyone. Basile, do something good for once and distract the guard so Daphne can escape! Throw yourself on that grenade!

Lucas just stops and stands there like an idiot, like I know you’re distracted by your Eliott boner and all but move your goddamn ass, until Eliott grabs him by the arm and pulls him to the side. Eliott offers to walk him home.

Eliott really just left his girlfriend behind, huh? I know Even did it too, but he just left Sonja to go hang out and drink with everyone else, not get caught by a night watchman.

I’m not someone who goes gaga over height differences to the extent that a lot of people do, but that sure is a quality height difference between Lucas and Eliott, made very clear by them walking side by side.

As they’re walking, Eliott says it seems are moving fast between Lucas and Chloé. Lucas says it’s cool but then backtracks and says she’s super into him and it’s stressing him out. Eliott looks a little pleased to hear that. He asks Eliott how long he and Lucille have been together, Eliott says a while. Lucas says it shows - errrr, how? You’ve spent like 10 seconds and two words in her company and all you did was see him briefly kiss her hello and then make out on the dance floor, like Emma and Alex have done that much and they’re not even officially together. He’s bitter, I guess. Any girl with Eliott has been with him too long.

Eliott says he thinks his relationship with Lucille is at an end, though, they’re just going in circles, he doesn’t want that. Lucas is like, to be in a relationship? Probably thinking GODDAMMIT. Eliott says he does want to be in a relationship. Lucas is like, so you see yourself with a new girl straight away? Eliott says yeah, and then after a pause, adds not necessarily a girl, though. That pause is what’s important, tbh, the little moment where he’s perhaps thinking of just coming out and saying it to Lucas. Making clear that his sexuality includes guys, making clear that Lucas is on the menu. And of course Lucas kneejerk looks at him like OH SHIT HE SAID IT.

Lucas looks at him, Eliott looks at him, there’s a Moment. They arrive at Lucas’ place. With this music and the way they’re looking at each other, it’s not so much awkward, more like they’re daring each other to take the next step. Eliott says this is where they say good night. The way Eliott glimpses upwards makes me think he was hoping to be invited up (not even to bone, to be clear, just to hang out/make out), and they’re staring at each other when in the background someone’s getting out of a car and taking bags out of a trunk. 

They are hardcore staring at each other and it seems like Eliott moves in just a teeny tiny bit when Manon’s all HEYYYY GUYSSSSS. Lucas looks back at Eliott like, oh, never mind.

IDK how I feel about that ending moment. I feel like it lacks the punch of Manon arriving home, and weirdly downplays the Lucas/Eliott moment. Maybe because the music continues - I would’ve cut off the music when Manon said hello, to break them out of their little bubble, then show her there, cut back to Lucas and Eliott staring at her in shock, in silence. This just felt a little muddled and didn’t land as much emotionally for me.

I’m not like ... angry at Manon for interrupting, I think she could’ve just looked away and pretended to be busy with her bags instead of calling attention to herself. She seems pretty invested in giving Lucas nudges out of the closet, or wanting him to open up to her about it, based on her behavior in other episodes. Like I think she means well, it’s just intrusive. Did she want to interrupt them so Lucas didn’t out himself in front of her? That doesn’t seem entirely congruent with her repeatedly asking him if he’s dating someone or asking about Eliott in the next episode. 

The Lucas/Eliott relationship also feels way more of an inevitability at this point. Eliott isn’t saying he can’t break up with Lucille, his comment about “not necessarily a girl” could not be any more pointed. I’m wondering if they’ll bring as much drama with Lucille later on; if they do play out the part where Eliott goes back to Lucille after telling Lucas he wants to be with him, I think they should’ve kept in that part as it’s important foreshadowing. Not just for his relationship with Lucille, but his bipolar disorder and inner conflict. Like there were zero hints of a conflict within Eliott in this scene, he’s just like, yeah, I should break up with her, maybe I’ll have a relationship with someone who’s not a girl, hint hint. So Lucas really should not be doubting Eliott’s intentions at this stage, frankly. It’s Lucas who’s apparently the obstacle, and who knows how long before he gives in to Eliott’s Eliottness.

Social Media/General Comments:

Yann texts Lucas “Kisses bro” after the locker conversation so basically he’s a stand-up pal, it’s very cute.

Basile at least apologized to Lucas via text for blowing up at him because Basile didn’t get his dick serviced on Friday. He also said he’s not even into Maria anymore, it’s about Daphne now, siiiiiiigh. When he asked about Lucas’ mom, Lucas didn’t really answer, said it was nothing and he was handling it. I mean, if Basile has a mentally ill mom like Magnus, this conversation might take on more significance later, like he could’ve gotten Basile’s advice all along.

On a related note, I know I stroked that Basile hateboner so hard this recap that I’m chafed, and sorry if it got repetitive. But also - he’s bad. He’s really, really bad. And if my comments are repetitive, the show is also repetitive in giving Basile approximately one character trait that’s extremely exaggerated. I don’t think we’ve had one “normal” scene with this guy where he didn’t say something awful, like the closest was the first clip he was in.

Lucas is getting very chummy with the girl squad and taking pics with them. He’s also getting alarmingly cutesy with Chloé, posting a pic of her and using emoji hearts. Though that’s a good detail, of course, it’s him trying to act straight.

Is it just me or have they toned down some of the social media presence from last season? I don’t mind it, I think a lot of the SM stuff is more focused on things relevant to the story.

I’m not even getting into the Eliott puzzle stuff. It’s fun but I’m just gonna sit back and watch it happen, otherwise my brain will melt.

Everyone who attended that party is a total fucking dumbass for posting pictures and IG stories of themselves where they are clearly at the school and in the common room on Friday night. I know that teenagers are not necessarily the best at discretion, but LMAO at the theme of the party being “infiltration” and Daphne trying to have a password when everyone’s posting pictures where people are easily identifiable. If shit had gotten out of hand, then they’d all be screwed. Although this is an obvious consequence of throwing a party in the school, you know some people are going to plaster it all over social media. Not hard to predict. IDK, maybe I’m just a worst case scenario type of person, but imagine if shit got really out of hand, like someone started a fire or there was major property damage or who knows, something even worse, and there had to be an investigation. All of you idiots are fucked. 

Being honest, in some ways I thought this was the weakest of the three episodes so far - not that it was bad, there were certainly good moments. I think they did a solid job with Lucas’ internalized homophobia, as unpleasant as it was to watch, and Alex’s talk about bisexuality was a strong addition to the story. There were some good acting moments. But I felt more of the weaknesses that Skam France had in its previous two seasons. Things like reusing certain moments from Skam while not really fitting or understanding why they were there, more like feeling they had to be there, or some parts that I thought didn’t quite make sense, some moments that were rushed or didn’t have much impact due to the directing.

I’m thinking that this episode is going to be a particular challenge for various remakes to adapt. Some of it might be that it’s very internal, in a way, with what Isak is going through, and that’s not always the easiest to portray. I also felt like OG had a clear thesis statement of sorts with what Julie intended to accomplish with this episode, in terms of the overall story, and it’s something where you can lose the subtleties if you’re not careful.

This reaction probably seems more negative than I actually felt, because overall I did like the episode and still enjoy the season, it’s just that breaking it down and thinking about it more critically, there were more little things that bugged me this week than in the first two.

I’m not French so feel free to clarify if I missed something.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[halfofxerxes]

//Xerxes, to a certain extent, does take from Roman and Greek aesthetics in canon. There are also some thematic eliments of Mesopotamia as ancient Mesopotamia was destroyed almost entirely through their irrigation systems.

ofc the way the real danger of Mesopotamia was because they built their canals badly and raised the salt levels in the area as well as the water table and choked out their plants, and Xerxes died because their ''irrigation" was built by a bunch of freaks bent on giving head freak an everlasting boner. Still the connection is there and it is cool.

My point being that they most definently have a way of handling water, and the architecture to have it flow through the city, which is why it survived so long. While the well of Xerxes is well known and still in use centuries after the city fell, water wasn't wasted and often recycled and filtered for reuse.

It should be noted that slaves in Xerxes are brought up to be extremely social, co-dependent, and dependent on their fellow slaves. I could get into it more but it's the same concept as 'whipping boys' where an individual can by hurt by using someone else, except while a rl whipping boy was used so that noble children could be punished, the slaves of Xerxes experience their greatest distress when isolated from their group.

I use the term 'slave brother' a lot in relation to Xerxes but they straight up have a word that means exactly that, a slave or group of slaves thst prolonged absence of which causes psychological distress. As a whole, groups of slaves are treated better than individual slaves and children are conditioned to think that their group may as well be part of their own bodies.

(I mean that makes it really easy for them to adapt to life in Hoho because He's One Of Them And He Understands, but the downside of having a bias is that when he does get triggered he's experiencing not Just His Own Issues but since they're basically indistinguishable from his own he blames himself for it but anyway)

Anyway that means that solitary confinement is a punishment that's used liberally, it goes: scolding>lack of feeding>whipping>confinement. Because it's one of the standard punishments, there are chambers built for it. They are linked to the filtration system as one of the last stops for Xerxes' dirty water so that they don't need to be scrubbed out as often.

It means that they are damp, cold, and dark in the inside, always. They are built so that they can be water tight, giving them the added bonus of being claustrophobic and somewhat stifling. There's not a lot of room in them, maybe enough to lay down and some of them are big enough for two slaves if need be.

The rooms don't fill up all the way, but it's enough that you can't just stand up to be clear of the water, you have to be able to float on your back or otherwise position yourself to clear the waterline. The rooms flood on a schedule weather they are empty or not, and they never stay flooded long enough to drown anyone, but it can come real close.

Prolonged confinement can kill a slave's instincts to survive and at that point they're useless and get sent to the alchemists for research. This is what happened to Hoho, except when he was given to his master, he was like "oh hi" and got up and followed him. At that point Hoho was legally the property of the King's Alchemist and was kept as such.

Hoho never had enough buoyancy to float and panicked too much to swim, on the few occasions he tried, he was in chains and could not do it. He goes into panic mode when he gets wet unexpectedly, splash a cup of water on him and he might actually cry, shove him in a pool and he's going to sink to the bottom until someone fishes him out.

As himself, he is fully capable of overcoming this through time and effort, as a stone he will probably never be able deal with it.

Also: Baths are hard for him, he bathes like a bird would, and he can maintain his hygiene. As for relaxing in a tub, he'll do it as long as the water is warm and someone's with him, holding him. Ideally, he's pressed up against their chest and their arms are around him, but hand holding is also good.

He can relax enough to play in the water if his partner works with him long enough, but it takes a lot of trust between them, and if he's ever left alone in the water, he's probably not doing it again.

Sex in the water is a bad idea, bc generally speaking Hoho won't,,,, stop you,,,,, but also Hoho generally has trouble saying no and refusing sex, at most playing coy when he desperately wants to stop. It fucks him up so badly that he'll have trouble speaking for a while after it, both the language his partner can understand and his native Xerxean as well. Straight up kicking him in the nuts is a kinder way to hurt him.

I mean especially because he's most worried about connecting to people and taking away his ability to reach out to anyone is the best way to make him suffer. He probably won't even stick around long enough for you to see him again, instead choosing to leave until you die lmao.