#might have to repeat this in text and not in tags :p

[utnewfoundfamily]

Is this version of Asriel into video games like his Deltarune counterpart seems to be? And, now that he's got his SOUL back, has he tried his hand (or I guess paw) at romance? Or is he aroace like some people in our universe speculate?

Of course he’s into video games! It’s a great past time, but he does have other priorities to focus on. So gaming is at a minimum for Asriel, sadly. And on that note of his SOUL, the romance scene has never crossed his mind. I don’t think it’s for any other reason other than it’s just not what he wants or seeks. Rather than that, I think what he seeks is relationships that are more on the platonic side.

For example, the relationship Asriel has with Frisk. This one being built both before and after he had his own SOUL. Here’s the fun part though. There’s a type of action that takes place with SOULs and that’s called a “SOUL Dance.” Where two or more SOULs will dance and swirl together in harmony. Mind you, this is an action that is natural and not forced upon. The main component of this starts off by having a soul, obviously, yet the other is by having a strong bond with another person or persons that are mutual to one another. All bonds can be an array of things so not one person is excluded.

To monsters it’s a common thing, but to see it with a human is very fascinating. And colorful! The sensation is like being given a warm blanket or feeling a warming loving embrace. And the looks are what I’ve described previously. SOULs swirling & dancing around in harmony. Asriel has experienced this and it’s the best. Cause even if Frisk or any other person he’s danced with are gone, the feelings are still strong as if they were here with them. Here’s an example of how it looks like for Frisk an Azzy!:

Admittedly, his bond is a lot stronger with Frisk’s cause they did give a piece of themselves to him. So he may or may not be emotional about it. It’s a good emotional though. Does involve a little tears, but to feel is good. Makes you alive. And what is said here for Asriel could be repeated with Chara and Aster. What with sharing a piece of their SOUL and whatnot!

[alastor-simp]

Heatwave🥵 - Sick Sylus x Fem Reader (R-18 Smut)

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Summary: It's rare to see Sylus so weak at this moment, especially from a cold. It pained you to see him like this, so you took it upon yourself to give him proper care. Unfortunately, the care he wants from you may be too much for you to handle.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Genre: smut, fluff

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Word count: 2K+

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Warnings/Tags: mdni, explicit sexual content, sylus is needy when sick, spoilers from sylus secret times heatwave audio, sick fic, sick sylus, fingering, neck kissing, lots of kissing, top sylus, bottom reader, P in V, missionary position, horny sylus, mentions of sweat, soft sylus, unprotected sex, cuddling, nicknames (kitten, sweetie).

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Notes: I adore all of Sylus Secret Time audios, but the one that I enjoy the most is his Heatwaves one. The raspy sound of his voice when we was sick was wayyyy to hot, and the fact he sounded so soft too, wanting to cuddle with the MC. I was inspired to write a smut story about this audio, and how I expected it to go. Enjoy

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Link: Video to Sylus Secret Times Heatwave is here - Link

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧Credit: Banner credit to @cafekitsune

Its been a while since you last saw Sylus, gazing at your phone at the last text message from him, cheeks blushing at the little nicknames he always called you, scrolling down to see the last message was from five days ago. Both of you had different lives, you being part of the Hunters association while he was doing his duties as the big Onychinus leader, yet you couldn't resist the urge to go and see him, missing him dearly.

Heading to the Onychinus base, that only you surprisingly had access to, you ventured into the long dark hallway, running into Luke and Kieran. "Hey! if it isn't the Boss's favorite person." said Luke, as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giving you a noogie. Kieran chuckled at his brothers actions, turning to you with a head tilt, "What brings you here, Y/N? Pushing Luke away from messing up your hair, you looked up at Kieran, giving him a soft smile. "Wanted to see Sylus. Is he in?"

Both of the twins stood next to each other, gazing at themselves for a bit, before looking back at you. "He is, but he might not want to see you." Kierans words stunned you for a second, wondering what he meant by that. "The boss is feeling a bit under the weather at the moment. He ordered us specifically not to have anyone disturb him." Luke said, taking note of your sad expression after what his twin said.

So that's why Sylus wasn't messaging you, he was sick, and he was dealing with this by himself? "Well, I'm not one of his employers here, so that doesn't apply to me, plus he's sick so he needs someone to look after him." Walking past the both of them, you ventured closer to the door that led to his bedroom, not before turning back to look at the twins, " I'll make sure to cover for the both of you." Despite them both wearing masks, you could tell they were smiling as they gave you a thumbs up before walking away.

Knocking on the door, there was a groggy "Who is it," from the other side, as you entered into the bedroom, spotting Sylus. Adorning his robe, he was sitting on the couch, head leaning on the back of it. His pale face appeared very flushed, beads of sweat dripping down on it. His eyes were closed, yet they opened slowly, turning to gaze at who the intruder was, spotting you. "....Oh, its you." Lips drew into a tired smirk, he continued to watch you as you came closer to where he sat, giving him a kind smile. "Hey Sy." you said softly, eyes filled with softness. "Hey kitten." He repeated what you said, yet he winced as the aching in his head was becoming unbearable, moving to lean back against the couch cushion.

"Let me guess, Luke and Kieran told you about me, when I specifically said no one was allowed to disturb me," His groggy voice was laced with irritation, as the pounding in his head was getting worse. "Well I'm not part of your organization, so what you told the twins doesn't affect me. Besides, they were worried about you and so am I." His expression softened upon hearing that, the sweet words from you making his heart race. "Fine, fine, you are an exception." Patting the spot next to him, he urged you to sit, "Come here, I want to use your lap as a pillow."

Obeying his request, you sat down where his hand was, his body maneuvering so his head laid gently on your lap, both his legs stretching out on the other side of the couch. He let out a relax sigh, admiring the softness of your lap, shutting his eyes. Ruffling his hair, you asked how he was feeling, which he responded back in a tired tone, "I'm gravely ill, one might say." His hand grasped yours that was playing with his silver locks, moving it to place it on his forehead, feeling the intense warmth, "Touch it, its burning up." The coolness of your hand provided him some relief, as he let out a pleasant sigh.

"How long have you been sick for?" Rubbing his forehead, you asked him softly, as his crimson eyes gazed up at you. "Not sure, but it won't be going away anytime soon." Raising his finger to his lip, he wanted silence, as he continued to lay on your lap, while your hand rubbed his forehead. After a couple minutes, you grew weary, looking over and seeing his empty bed, tapping his forehead to get his attention. "Sy, lets go over to the bed." Groaning a bit, Sylus slowly came up, muttering an "okay" as you helped him up, using your hands to help carry him over.

Landing on the bed, Sylus turned towards you, arms stretching out wide, wanting you to come into his arms. Smiling, you threw your jacket on the couch, while flicking your shoes off. After doing that, your body jumped and landed on top of Sylus, causing him to let out a grunt, which was then replaced with a dry chuckle, as you laid down on him, face squished against his chest, looking at him with a cute expression. He gave you his signature smirk, giving you a soft forehead flick, "Why did you plop down on me like that? I could've died." "Haha, very funny," You said, with an annoyed laugh, nuzzling closer to his chest, putting a bit more of your weight on top of him, grabbing the covers to put it over the both of you.

"Ah...I see. You want to take advantage of me after I use up all of my stamina? That's very impressive, since many of the assassins that are sent to me couldn't even do this much." His smirk turn playful, enjoying the expressions your face made when he said that. "I figured as much, since kittens are predators who enjoy toying with their prey, especially ones that will struggle?" A smack to his chest was your response to him, a deep chuckle leaving his lips, "Ouch.....be gentle." Lifting your hands up, you grasped his cheeks softly, his body jolting a bit from how cold they were, before relaxing. "That feels nice," He muttered, leaning into your touch.

He's so feverish, it's not going down, you thought, worried it was going to get worse if he didn't take something. "Want me to get you something for your fever?" Voice filled with concern, you waited for him to answer you. He lifted his eyebrow, "Medicine? I'm not taking that, it's bitter." His face grimaced, refusing to take any of that nasty stuff. "Well, if you won't take anything, how are you going to lower your fever?" Grumbling, your head lifted up from his chest, looking down at him. His eyes twinkled with amusement, arms moving to grasp your waist, flipping you on your side. His head positioned on top of your forehead, nuzzling it, "If you want me to get better..........cool me down yourself."

Words died in your throat, eyes gazing at the silver-haired man who was rubbing against your face like a cat. "Do you want me to get you an ice pack?" You asked, innocently, hoping that would be a better alternative. His head moved, signifying a no, as he held you closer, "What ice pack? You are the ice pack." Shivers went down your back, the husky tone of his voice flustering you more than usual. Large hands traveled upward, from waist to upper back, holding you tenderly. "Hmm....we should've done this earlier." He whispered, warm breath hitting your face, intensifying your blush. After a few moments, he pulled away, warm eyes peering into yours, "Your face is warm.......let me using something else then."

Lowering his head, he positioned his face in the crook of your neck— inhaling your sweet scent. Part of you wanted to tell him to stop, but how he was acting right now—being super soft and vulnerable had devastating effects on your heart. Perhaps being a ice pack wasn't so bad. His nose continued to trace alongside your neck, stopping when his eyes glanced at the reddish mark on the surface of your skin. "What's this on your neck?" He asked, eyes squinting in confusion. Embarrassed, you explained the story of how you were in a rush and the little mishap you had with your lipstick. "You were putting on lipstick and it actually got on there?" He chuckled, feeling his face push further into your neck—luscious lips pressing against it.

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest—amused at your surprised expression, "Your neck is warmer now that I kissed you. You can't focus on anything, huh." His ministrations continued, lips trailing all over your neck, back arching into him more—goosebumps traveling across your skin. "S-Sylus," You whispered, breath coming out in soft pants—the warmth from his body heating you up. Removing his face from your neck, his crimson eyes peering at you, "Your body is getting hotter." Your mind was still a mess from his actions, eyes glaring at him—fingers pinching his cheek, "It's your fault!"

Smirking, he positioned his body on top of yours, removing your hand from his cheek and pushing it against the mattress, "Is this how you treat sick people, sweetie?" You tried to move, hoping to push him off of your body, yet it was futile, "I'm trying to take care of you yet your acting like a brat." His eyebrow lifted at your words, smirk remaining on his face as he lowered his head, nuzzling into your neck again— his lower body gently laying on top of you. "I'm only using you to calm down my fever. Quite a reasonable request I would say." His breath continued to tickle your neck, his hand letting go of the one he pinned—returning back to caress your waist and back.

He lifted his head again, gazing down at you, unamused, "You're not a very good ice pack. You've failed to cool me down and warmed me up instead." His position on top of you was making you more flustered, turning your head away to avoid his stare. Soft fingers went to your chin, turning you back to look at him, "What's wrong, kitten? Are you sick too? Your cheeks are quite red." His voice was low, raspy—causing your lower panties to get soaked. He still held your chin, eyes trailing you up and down,"Oh I see. I wasn't using you correctly. I should be sweating it out." He grinded into you, feeling his grown length rubbing against your intimate area—a moan leaving your lips.

"That makes you perfect for this," He said, licking his lips—his hands entering inside your shirt, massaging your breasts tenderly. Moans escaped your lips as he continued to squeeze your mounds, fingers pinching your nipples. "Very hot." Dazed, your eyes focused on him in confusion, a seductive smirk gracing his face upon seeing it. "Of course I'm taking about you," he purred, his tongue licking against your ear—marking it softly with his teeth. One of his hands traveled down lower, slipping inside your pants, rubbing against your skin, "There's sweat here.......and it's all wet." Shaking your head at his words, you told him he was lying.

"Oh, you don't think I am," he whispered. "I can prove it to you right here, right now." His husky voice flowed through you, back arching from the bed. Removing his hand from your pants, he extended it out, "Gimme your hand." Grasping your hand softly, he pulled it down with him, entering your pants and into your panties, feeling how wet your core was, dripping with anticipation. His fingers hooked inside along with yours, curling inside your inner walls—soft gasps leaving your mouth, "Ah! Sy-Sylus!" He licked his lips, entranced by how quickly you were falling into pleasure in front of him. "Don't be shy, sweetie." he purred. "When ice melts, it's natural to be wet.."

His fingers and yours continued to tease your sex, his nails flicking occasionally against your clit—toes curling at the sensation. Kisses softly landed on you, from your forehead, to your cheeks, your neck and then your lips. "You're not that good at getting rid of my fever," he groaned, thrusting his hips, wanting to get closer to you. "But, as they say, once should make the most out of everything. Only response you gave back to him was a series of moans, hand flying to his silver locks, gripping them tightly. He let out a grunt, lust-filled eyes staring into your very soul, his lips a few inches from yours, "So, before you have completely melted........I won't stop."

His lips parted yours, his tongue exploring the depths of your mouth, silencing your moans as his fingers sped up—wet sounds becoming louder and louder. Your wet-covered hand had left his, attaching to his back, deepening your kiss—his own lips curling into a smile. A third finger entered you, curling in and out and in and out, back arching off the bed. You felt it, you knew you were about to explode, turning to break the kiss. "AH! Sylus. Mmm...I'm gonna. He attacked your neck, hickeys appearing on your skin. "Go ahead, kitten. Come for me."

Curling your toes, body tensing, you climaxed—his fingers becoming drenched in your release. He removed his hand, bringing it to his lips to lick at your delicious nectar, "Mmm so sweet," he drawls, his voice coated in honey. The robe shrugged away from him, his toned body appearing in front of you, doused in sweat—he's so gorgeous you thought. Positioning between your legs, you felt his erection poking at your entrance, ready to penetrate you—a soft moan leaving your lips. "Are you ready, kitten," he questioned, his eyes growing soft, making sure you were alright with this. You nodded at him, which he responded with a smile—his body slowly moving forward, inserting himself inside you.

The both of you stayed stiff, the pleasurable sensation immobilizing your bodies. He was panting heavily, beads of sweat dripping from his head, landing on your body as he slowly moved, the friction intensifying. The ecstasy was driving you insane, legs wrapping around him tighter, hearing him let out a grunt as he sped up, "Huff, you're so tight, kitten." He moans heavily, placing his head against yours— his fever affecting him more and more. His cock kept hitting your g-spot, making you see stars as you loudly moaned his name, "Sy! M—More!" His hips sped up to alarming speeds, fulfilling your wish—stars forming in your vision, climax growing near. Nails scratched along his back, red lines forming—earning a grunt from his lips, "Almost there, sweetie."

With one last thrust, he came inside of you—with you following along with him, back arching of the bed from the orgasmic bliss. He collapsed on top of you, his heavy breaths hitting your neck—reaching your hand up to rub his hair and forehead, "Are you okay?" A mumble was spoken into your neck—he was physically exhausted from the sex, his sickness catching up with him. Moving him slowly, you placed his head against the pillow, getting up from the bed to get him and you cleaned up.

Leaving the bathroom wearing one of his long shirts, you headed back to Sylus with a glass of water, medicine, and a wet cloth. Turning him over, you cleaned the sweat on his body and face, as well as cleaning the mess on his lower regions. Once that was all set, you told him to sit up a bit, helping him since he had barely any energy to move. As he leaned against the headboard, you took one of the pills in your mouth, drinking some water, then placed your lips against his, helping him to swallow the medicine despite his prior distaste about the bitterness, but he needed to take something. Grabbing his robe, you placed his arms back into the sleeves, covering him back up, pushing him softly to lay on the pillow again. You soon joined him, turning on your side as you pulled him closer, cuddling him into your chest—earning a contented sigh from him, his arms wrapping around you, "Mmm...thank..you....kitten." Smiling, you hugged him tighter, as the exhaustion from the previous activities caught up with both the both of you, falling asleep in each others arms.

—END—

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Just Giving In

Main Masterlist - Dean Masterlist

Read on A03!

Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, truth curses (with a silly twist!), light fluff, angst, smut (fingering, p in v sex, creampie), love confessions, no use of y/n

Summary/Warnings: You're under a very annoying truth curse. The kind of truth curse that will kill you if one very specific, Dean-related truth isn't told. But apparently no one's allowed to just die in peace anymore.

Author's Note: It's amazing how I'm able to delude myself into truly believing that I'll actually write something short and only horny. No. We must write 3k of story and 5k of emotional smut. Enjoy!

Title from Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine

Word Count: 8.6k

It’s past midnight when you get back to the bunker. 

You were supposed to be back that afternoon, but certain complications arose, and you’re back now. You’ll have a long, sleepless night to come up with an excuse for why exactly you were five hours late, didn’t text Sam and Dean that you were going to be five hours late, where exactly you were in the first place, and why the car looks like that. Scraped and dented and wrecked, like it had been put through a meat grinder and spat out in a hunk of metal that somehow didn’t explode when you drove it. 

You’re glad you didn’t take the Impala. If Dean yelled at you right now, you might start crying on the spot. Thankfully—in what should be a rare stroke of luck, but feels like a dagger right into your stomach—Sam and Dean seem to have given up on trying to wait for you to come home, so you’re free to retreat to your room and cry in private, like any reasonable adult who’s probably going to die within the week would-

“You’re back.” 

A light behind you flicks on as Dean snaps from across the room, and you grimace as everything inverts. Dean did wait up for you, and that’s tiny and electric high that goes right up your spine. You’re also not lucky, but that just feels like a given at this point. 

You will not cry in front of Dean. You have spent the whole night repeating to yourself that, no matter what happens here, you will not cry in front of Dean. He either think nothing of this week, and it will fade into the distance as you figure this out yourself and he never knows, or he’ll look back on it with nothing but simple grief and anger, remember you fondly and furiously instead of as a weak, emotional, manipulative bitch. Remembers you as the person you’ve spent so long proving yourself to be, instead of the feral girl they’d found you as. 

It doesn’t make turning around to face him any easier. He’s sitting in his usual chair, glaring at you with his arms crossed, and there are bags under his eyes that you put there. A tight line to his lips that’s your responsibility, because you’d fucked up and he knows it. He always knows it. 

Because you fuck up a lot.

“Hey, Dean, what’s up-“

“What’s up?” He snaps, and you have to force your body not to flinch. “You’re crawling back here at one in the goddamn morning without ever, I don’t know, thinking to fucking call when you realized you’d be late, and you’re saying what’s up?”

You swallow. “I lost my phone.”

“You, fuck-“ Dean rubs his jaw with a hand, giving you a look of pure disbelief. “You could’ve borrow someone’s, or prayed to Cas, or just, goddamnit-“ he mutters your name, looking at you with an exhaustion that makes your gut flail. “Where the hell even were you?”

“Um,” you glance down at your hands. “Hunt?”

“Hunt.” His voice is flat, and you wince. “That’s all you’re going to say.”

You nod. “Rowena called me. Needed help with something.”

“And you just fucking went with her, without telling anyone-“

“I didn’t just go with her, I brought a gun. I was careful.” you try to stand a little taller, looking back up to Dean, because you need to sell your half-truth of a story and get out of here. Out of where Dean’s just right there, and it’s making your skin crawl and your blood cold and your eyes push out of your skull the longer you lie to him. “And I did tell Cas-“

“Son of a bitch, that’s not enough.” Dean groans, pushing out of the chair to glower down at you. It’s an intimidation tactic you’ve seen him use before, where he makes himself large and furious, almost beast like. Sometimes it makes him look bigger than Sam, and he only pulls it out when he’s furious, and demanding answers. You don’t think he knows that, when he uses it on you, it does not have the intended effect.  

“Dean-“

“Cas didn’t tell us.” Dean hisses your name, stalking across the room and getting far too close for your brain to function properly. “You need to tell us, because we were, I was-“ Dean cuts himself off with a grunt, his whole body rigid as he scans over your face. 

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, and it’s the truth, so it’s like clear, fresh water over your head and down your throat. “I didn’t mean to freak you guys out. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal.”

“You didn’t-” Dean’s jaw is clenched, and his words seem pushed through his teeth. “Just go to bed,” he mutters your name, and you feel something in your chest snap. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

You nod weakly, and almost run away from him. But not to bed. You’ve already blown this up way too much to just go to bed. 

You go right to Sam’s room and bang on the door, keeping a careful eye over your shoulder for Dean to walk into the hall.

It takes a very long, tense minute, but eventually you hear a groan from the other side of the door, tired words muffled through the wood.

“Dean, she’ll be back, and you’re not helping anything-“ The door swings open to reveal a messy haired, bleary-eyed Sam, and he blinks at you with a frown. “Oh, you’re back. You should go tell Dean-“

“He knows.”

“Cool, that’s good.” Sam scans over you—bouncing slightly on your feet, every movement and breath feeling frantic and borrowed—and frowns. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Oh, uh, you need to talk about it-“

You don’t bother to answer, pushing past Sam into his room and dropping on the end of his mattress, watching him blink at you, his frown deepening every second.

“Yeah, you can come in-“

“Can you please close the door?” You whisper, like Dean might somehow hear from wherever he’d gone after your fight. 

Sam nods slowly, and the movement you hear the click of the doorknob, the words start to fall out of you like vomit. 

“I fucked up, Sam. I really, really fucked up, it’s bad, I’m fucking fucked-“

“Woah, slow down.” Sam moves across the room, running a hand through his hair. “Just, start from the top. Where were you-“

“Rowena called me for help. Some sort of coven drama, she said she needed some backup because her magic was weakened.” You take a long, shaky breath, unable to look anywhere but the corner of Sam’s carpet. “I told Cas, just in case it was a trap, and left. I owed her a favor-“

“Wait, since when did you owe Rowena a favor-“

“Mark of Cain.” You mumble. “I told her I’d owe her if she helped Dean. One favor, cashable on anything.”

Sam says your name slowly. “You didn’t need to do that, we would have figured it out. I mean, Dean wouldn’t want you to-“

“I know, I don’t need you to-“ You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut. “Can we focus on one stupid choice at a time, please?”

“Yeah, sorry, keep going. Why are you fucked.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, and decide to skip most of the details. Sam did not need to know about how the case was indeed at trap, or how you’d known it was a trap, but the favor had been a blood oath, so you weren’t able to run or call them. He didn’t need to know how you’d mowed down about five witches with the car—the sickening crunch still rattling around your skull—or how it wasn’t just blood and sweat on your brow, but something from an animal you’d really hoped you’d mistranslated from Latin. 

He just needs to know the reason you hadn’t killed Rowena when you’d escaped and taken out the rest of the coven. 

He just needs to know about the problem.

“It went to shit. Really big shit, Sam. I’m kind of… cursed.”

There’s a long moment of silence, and when you finally gather the confidence to look at Sam, he’s gaping at you, frozen in place.

“What do you mean,” his voice is low, every word slow and deliberate. “Kind of cursed.”

“I mean very cursed.” You mumble. “Really fucking cursed.”

“Shit.” He mutters, shaking his head. “I said you were probably fine, Dean’s gonna kill me-“

“No!” You stand up frantically, your voice almost a squeak. “Don’t tell Dean!”

“Why the hell wouldn’t I tell Dean?!” Sam snaps, looking at you like you’ve gone insane. “If you’re really cursed, we need all hands, and Dean-“

“He can’t know, Sam, please.” You might start crying, every word choked in your throat. “Don’t tell him.”

“I…” Sam trials off, his face dropping into a deep frown that seems to be mostly made of worry as he says your name. “What, exactly, is the curse?”

You sigh, hugging yourself as you speak. “If I don’t resolve my deepest secret, I’ll die.”

Sam blinks. “Like, die die? Death die?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” His eyes widen as the situation fully sinks in, his whole body going slack as he pulls the pieces together. “Fuck.”

You hum a soft agreement. “Fuck.”

“And why can’t I tell Dean? I mean, he’ll want to help-“

“You know why.” You whisper. “Please don’t make me say it.”

“Fuck.” Sam groans. “And you’d rather die than-“

“Yes.” You lower yourself down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare ahead at nothing. “I’m sorry, Sam, I just. I can’t. I don’t-“ You taste the sting of metal as you bite through your cheek. “I don’t know what to do. I’m going to d-“ You cut yourself off with a choked sound, and hear the bed shift as Sam drops at your side and pulls you into a gentle hug.

“We’ll figure it out.” He mutters your name, and you make another weak, strangled noise. “I promise. You’re going to be okay.”

Over your first, weak sob, you don’t hear the door open. You only know it opens because Dean clears his throat, and your blood turns white-hot in your body, caught between embarrassment and nerves and a deep, soft and starved piece of your heart that’s trying to climb into your limbs and rip your body away from Sam’s to fly to Dean’s.

“Sammy, she-“ He cuts himself off as he sees you, and you die a little at how he says your name. Like he hates it. “You’re in here.”

You nod, keeping your face angled down, and you hear Dean shift slightly in the doorway. 

“Why are you in Sam’s room.”

There’s no good answer for that, and Sam doesn’t seem to have one either. There’s no plausible lie for why you’re on the floor on Sam’s room, why you’re sniffling, and why he’s hugging you that doesn’t sound insane. Even the truth wouldn’t exactly be an easy sell.

And it hurts. When Dean just sighs and grunts that he doesn’t want to know—that you and Sam can go back to fucking braiding each other’s hair or whatever—and stomps out of the room, it’s like a knife to your gut. But you can’t tell him. Not the truth. Not any of it.

So this will only be the first knife. And you’d worry about what you would be telling him when this was over—how you could possibly explain yourself—if you had any faith you were going to get out of this. 

But you don’t. The week crawls on, and it all only gets so much worse. Vague illness starts to feel like you’re being mauled from inside, and Dean’s anger turns to bullets.

You spend most of your days in the library with Sam, combing through book after book, looking for anything about how you can fix this, and every time Dean walks in, he looks like he wants to punch someone. Like he’s disgusted by your very presence where he can see you, like you’re a spider that’s crawled into his house and he can’t even stand the sight of you. 

“I’m getting dinner.” He snaps on the third night, and when you look up from your book—Sam standing behind you, having hunched over your body to read the passage you’d been pointing to—Dean’s jaw is clenched, his fists curled at his side. “Neither of you got groceries, so I’m ordering. What do you want.”

His voice is flat. It makes your chest feel like it’s being run over by a train.

“I’ll take whatever you get.” You offer him a small smile, because you can’t help yourself, and it just makes him glare more. “But can I please have a milkshake as well?”

Dean narrows his eyes at you. “You don’t know where the hell I’m going.”

“You’re going to the diner, Dean.” You shrug. “You always go to the diner.”

He grunts, something hot flashing over his face that you don’t understand. “Fine. Milkshake.”

He doesn’t bother to ask any follow-up questions. He doesn’t bother to wait for Sam to say what he wants. Dean just marches up to the garage, vanishes for an hour—the diner is ten minutes away, and you start to feel your stomach and heart twist the longer he’s gone—and returns with a slam of the door, throwing a salad at Sam and placing a burger and milkshake in front of you before stomping out of the library.

Dean got your favorite flavor. You hadn’t told him to, but he had.

It tastes like chalk. And you’ve never hated yourself more.

After that, he barely speaks to you. Just low grunts and glowers at you whenever you cross paths, his presence in the bunked suddenly scares. He’d usually sit with you and Sam while you read, cracking unhelpful jokes that make Sam roll his eyes and you giggle, but he’s just gone. Locked in the Dean Cave or the garage, shuffling around the kitchen with a sullen expression, swallowing his dinner whole and refusing to really even look at you.

It hurts more than any anger could. It’s lonely and cancerous the longer it goes on, because you’re still talking to and hanging out with Sam, but he doesn’t count. Your whole heart isn’t orbiting around Sam. The curse is completely indifferent to Sam. The curse doesn’t care when Sam grumbles or frowns at you. It cares when Dean hates you. You think it can feel that this won’t be resolved—because it won’t be, you grow more and more certain with every passing day that this is how you will die—and takes the opportunity to root deeper into your body. Every sneer or glare Dean gives you sits under your nails to claw at your skin. It covers you in sweat in the dead of night, and chokes you when you’re in the shower and the water’s burning your skin.

Sam keeps trying to convince you to just do it, just say the thing to Dean because the worst that can happen is that you’re heartbroken but alive.

“And I really don’t think it would even come to that.” He tells you from across the table at 2am, because you’re running out of time and sleep isn’t something you can even remember how to do anymore. “I mean, it’s Dean-“

“That’s the problem, Samuel.” You hiss. The curse has started to make you mean, and if you make it out alive, you’ll have to buy Sam a million bottles of hair gel to make up for what you’re putting him through. “It’s Dean. He already doesn’t like me-“

Sam frowns. “Why would you think that-“

“Because I’m a responsibility.” You’re spitting, and it tastes like venom. “I’m your kid shadow, I’m Dean’s kid shadow, I’m a burden-“

“You’re not a burden,” Sam says your name slowly. “To either of us. I mean, if what you said about Rowena is true, you saved Dean from the Mark-“

“That doesn’t count. That was just a deal I made-“

“A deal you made for Dean.” Sam’s pushing back. You wish he’d stop. “Most people in our lives wouldn’t have done that for us. And Dean doesn’t think you’re his kid shadow, by the way. I mean, I’ve only ever-“

“Sam.” Your voice is flat. A little broken. “Please don’t. Even if he doesn’t hate me, I- I just can’t-“

“But Dean-“

“Please.” You’re going to cry again. “You won’t convince me.”

Sam sighs, shaking his head. “Well, we need to try something. I’m not just going to let you die.”

You don’t think that’s up to Sam. You don’t think it’s up to anyone anymore. You won’t tell Dean, because you’ve scanned over book after book about spell phrasing, and decided that telling Dean wouldn’t even help. You had to resolve your deepest secret. Rejection that burns your heart to ash, that clouds your lungs and makes you cower and falter won’t be resolving anything, and then you’ll just die in more pain.

You let Sam convince you to try something. More for him than for you. You lock yourself in the bathroom and stare at your hideous reflection in the mirror—your skin a little sunken, your eyes lined with red, your lips raw from being chewed until they bled—and start speaking a whisper, because you can’t stand the sound of your own voice.

“I love Dean Winchester.” You tell yourself, as if you’re not so deeply aware of how your love is tattooed onto your every breath and heartbeat. “I love him. I am going to die, and I love him, and I am very-“ You choke slightly, your eyes stinging as the world blurs. “I am very, very sorry. Not for loving him, but for forcing him to be loved by me. I’m sorry I don’t know how to stop loving him. I’m sorry I’m leaving him. But I am not sorry for loving him. I… I spent a lifetime surrounded by cruel animals who called themselves angels, and he’s the only person I’ve ever- I could believe- I just-“ You drop your head, turning up the faucet to drown out every weak sob and apology. “I love him. And he… he’s too good be obligated to love me. So I think I’ll just…”

You trail off, and crumble onto the tile floor. When you dry your tears and yank yourself back together, Sam’s waiting for you a little down the hall. You shake your head, his shoulders slump, and that’s it. For Sam it’s not—he turns around and marches right back to the library—but for you, it is. You’re done. 

You’ll hole up in your room and die alone. Like how’d you’d been meant to all along, lent only a little bit of extra time by Dean saving you to begin with.

And that time had run out. So you’ll just go die alone.

lay flat on your bed as your vision starts to dance with spots, and spend your time trying to image what a heaven you’re not allowed into will look like. Cas has told you every person gets their own, but you don’t really want that. It sounds like more of your life, and it’s pointless to worry about because you’re headed nowhere but down, but you’d still rather spend eternity with someone.

One person. You’d like to spend eternity with one person. 

The same person who had somehow gotten into your locked room, and is snapping your name as he stands at the foot of your bed. You’d be angrier he’d just barged in if you could remember how to be anything but in pain. You’d snap back if your mouth knew how to be anything but numb. 

“Dean-“

“What the fuck are you doing.” Dean hisses, and you close your eyes, the light suddenly painfully bright. “What the hell is wrong with you.”

“Nothing.” You whisper, and he scoffs. 

“Nice shot, sweetheart. I’m not an idiot.”

“I don’t think you’re an idiot, Dean, I just don’t feel well.”

“That’s fucking bullshit-“

You sigh. “It’s not. I’m sick.” 

There’s a moment of silence, then, “how sick.”

“Fever.” You mumble. “Stomach bug. Maybe the flu. You should probably leave-“

“No,” he grunts, and you hear his steps. He’s coming closer, and your skin might be boiling off your body. “I’m not leaving you-“

“It’s not leaving if I ask you to go.” You mumble, and you can feel the heat of his body off to the side, can hear his breathing—maybe even his heartbeat—and it’s making everything worse-

“I’m not going.”

“Dean, just, please-“

“No, I’m sick of you fucking ignoring me, and I- I don’t even care what’s going on with you and Sam-“

You frown. “Nothing’s going on with me and Sam-“

“I have eyes,” Dean sneers your name, and there’s a tone in his voice that’s almost wounded. “You were hugging in his room, you’re always fucking whispering and hanging out-“

“That’s not-“ You swallow, dragging your eyes open to find him glaring down at you. He looks wounded too. “It’s for a case.”

“What case? A case that I’m not allowed to know about? Because that’s not a case, sweetheart, that’s a secret-“

You almost throw up, just from that word. “It’s- I’m not keep any secrets, Dean, just please go-“

“No!” He’s almost shouting, and the sound is like a cannon into your gut. “I don’t know what the hell is up with you, but you’re suddenly putting yourself in danger, and stuck to my brother, and you’re not talking to me anymore-“

“You’re not talking to me, Dean.” You whisper, his gaze burning you right down to the cavity of your chest. “I’m always in the library-“

“Yeah, I know, with Sam.” Dean scowls, and you’re too tired to think almost anything, but that’s strange. Dean never says Sam like that. Like it’s a horrible word. 

“It’s not a big deal,” you say, watching Dean carefully. “He’s helping me with something-“

“Something I can’t help you with?”

You blink, ready to lie and say no, but your mush of a brain doesn’t appear to be up to that task. “No.”

Dean’s brow furrows slightly. “So I could help you.”

“I-“ You feel a stab in your intestine, and your voice grows hoarse. “Please don’t ask me that.”

“Why-“

“Because I- Just go away, Dean-“

He shakes his head, saying your name in a stern, unwavering voice. “Could I help you-“

“N-“ You swallow a groan as your lungs contract, and this is dangerous. You’re too far gone to lie anymore, and that’s the only chance you have. If Dean keeps poking at you, you’ll tell the truth. You can’t tell the truth. “Please just leave me alone-“

“I’m not leaving you alone.” He snaps, dropping onto the side of your bed to prove his point. “You never left me alone, with the Mark-“

“That’s not-“ You can’t swallow your next sound of pain, or the whine that leaves your throat when Dean’s hand grabs your thigh. “Dean, please go-“

“Do you want me to go.”

“No.” You say it before you can think, and hate that the pain over your muscles lessens when Dean stays, and when his hand starts to rub slow circles. “But you- you have to-“

“I said I’m staying.” He grunts. “And you’re not changing my mind, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong with you.”

“I did.” You whisper, closing your eyes again. Looking at his handsome, annoyingly determined face isn’t helping anyone. “I’m sick.”

“Fine. What’s making you sick.”

“Curse.”

Fuck.

Dean’s silent for a long moment, then-

“What the fuck do you mean, curse.”

“Me.” You mumble. “Curse on me.”

“And how did a curse get on you-“

“Rowena.”

“That fucking bitch.” He mutters, and you feel his grip on you tighten slightly. Almost protectively. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me-“

That was probably a rhetorical question. Your sudden truth-telling streak doesn’t seem to care at all. “I was worried you’d hate me.”

“I- what?”

“I was worried-“

“I heard you,” he grunts. “I just, why the hell would you ever think I’d hate you-“

“Because I suck.” You whisper. “And I can’t- I don’t deserve you.”

Dean’s silent again. You wish he’d stop doing that. “You think you don’t deserve me?”

You nod, barely a movement at all, and Dean groans. You’re still not strong enough to look at him.

“Sweetheart, you- I’m not-“ He cuts himself off, his hand resuming his circles, you’re not sure he knows he’s doing it. “I’m going to ask you something, and you need to tell me the truth. Got it?”

You hum. Like you’d even have a choice.

“What will cure the curse.”

“I need to,” you try to fight down the words, but you’re light-headed and faint and Dean’s hand is really warm, so you fail. “I need to resolve my deepest secret.”

“Oh.” He pauses. “What’s your deepest secret?”

You’re going to bite off your tongue. And when Dean says your name again, his voice a little rougher, it drags your eyes open to stare at him. Watching you with a focus you can feel in your bones, that’s prying the truth out of you, and he’s just looking at you and you can’t do this-

“Dean, I-“ You digs your nails into your skin, something flashes in his eyes, and you can’t look away. But you can’t stop yourself either, and if you have to watch Dean’s disgust, that might kill you right here. “Please turn around.”

He frowns. “What?”

“I need you to turn around.” You whisper. “Please.”

He nods slowly, twisting away from you, and it’s like a green light to your stupid, traitorous mouth. The words fall out of you like vomit, and if this is the end, at least it might be fast. 

“I love you. I’ve loved you for years, and I’m sorry, but I can’t stop, and I don’t want to stop, and I love you. Only you. Just you. Can’t remember how to love anyone else, because I love you. I love your jokes and your grumpiness and how protective you are because you make me feel safe, and I love that you’re kind of a dork and a loser but you’re also so hot, I love your voice and your face and your hands, and I and I want you in a, um-“ You squeeze your thighs together, staring at the suddenly rapid rise and fall of Dean’s back. “A way that I shouldn’t talk about-“

“How do you want me.” He grunts, his voice low and a little gruff, and you can feel the heat in your cheeks.

“On me.” You whisper. “In me. I want you on my face and in my hands and fuck, I want your inside of me. But I also want to wake up next to you and hold your hand and fall asleep in your lap, and fuck-“

You cut yourself off with a whine as something sharp hits your right in the heart, and Dean’s silent. He’s not turning around, or leaving, or doing anything but sitting and breathing for so long, for too long-

“You-“ He shakes his head slightly, and you could swear he’s leaning slightly backward. “You want me.”

“Yeah, I- yes.”

“You love me.”

“Yes.” Too late to go back now. “I love you, Dean.”

“Why- why didn’t you tell me?”

He sounds broken. He sounds sad.

You’re so confused. It’s almost enough to distract from the pain racking your whole body.

“I- I didn’t think you’d-“ Not care. Dean couldn’t not care. He cares too much. “I wasn’t sure what-“

“What I’d say?”

“What you’d do.”

“What would you-“ He’s definitely leaning back. He’s closer, too. “What would you want me to do?”

“What would I want?” 

Dean nods.

“I- it doesn’t matter-“

“Yes it-“ He sighs, twisting around to face you. You can’t read the expression on his face. It’s lost and it’s afraid and it’s… hopeful. There’s this small light that’s so deep in his eyes that seems like real, true hope. “Please,” he mutters your name, and you might be melting. “Just, entertain me. What would you want me to do?”

“I’d want to tell me you love me.” You whisper, and if this curse is going to kill you, you hope it does it now, right before you lose all your dignity forever. “Like I love you.”

Dean shakes his head slightly, and your heart might be splitting in half. “But I- I tried to kill you-“

“The demon tried to kill me. That wasn’t really you-“

“Yes, it was-“

“No.” Your voice gains a little strength, and you push up on your elbows. “You saved me, Dean. You rescued me from the angels-“

“Anyone would’ve done that-“

“But they didn’t.” You snap. “You did. And I don’t love anyone, I love you.”

“That’s-“ He groans, his voice growing hoarse. “You- why?”

“What do you mean, why-“

“Why would you love me? I mean, unless this is some sick, fucked up prank-“

“It’s not a prank-“

“Well why?” He shouts your name, and he looks distressed. Like this is shredding him apart. “Why the hell would you love me-“

“Because I like loving you.” You grab his hand, his own panic starting to set into your own body, making this all the worse. “It feels right. And I- I know you don’t love me-“

You’re not sure what’s happening. Dean’s hands are cupping your face, and his mouth is on yours, and he tastes like whiskey and coffee and pecan, and you feel okay. You really feel okay. All the pain and sickness is dissolving from your body, and Dean is kissing you. Kissing you with an unforgiving, demanding desperation, his tongue down your throat and his body lowering down over yours, pinning you to the bed as he groans against your lips.

The sound jumpstarts something in you. Your arms wrap around Dean’s neck right before he can pull away or hesitate, and you throw everything he’s silently offering you back to him. Biting on his lower lip and wrapping your legs around his torso, grinding up into him as he makes a deep, satisfied noise and moves one hand to wrap around you waist, holding you steady against him as he rises up, moving you to stay in his lap.

“You’re, shit.” Dean lets out a low chuckle, pressing a small, gentler kiss to the tip of your nose as you breathe in ragged time. “You’re such a fucking idiot, sweetheart.”

You lean back to frown at him. “No I’m not-“

“Yeah, you are. But I am too.” He sighs, dropping his head to the crook of your neck and speaking against your skin. “Seems like we’re made for each other, huh.”

“Dean, I-“

“Wait, just-“ Dean kisses up the column of your throat, ending right behind your ear, and his voice a low sound that falls right down into your core. “Gimme a second.”

“Dean-“

“Please,” he mutters, and when you pull back he looks nervous. It’s strange, but adorable, and you nod. He needs a second, you’ll give him a million. Anything to keep him here a little longer, to keep the ebb of the sickness going. 

“Okay.” You whisper, and—taking the biggest gamble of your life—lean forward to kiss him again. Just a light, almost innocent press of your lips to his. He tenses, his arms around you tightening, and you’d have panicked if it didn’t seem like he was clinging to you. Like he was afraid you were going to vanish. 

“I- uh,” Dean says your name slowly, and it’s odd. You’ve heard him say it exactly like that a million, but this feels deeper. Like a prayer. “I lo-“ He cuts himself off, his brow drawing tightly together, and you can feel your heart in your throat. Set to either explode or move into Dean as you hold your breath. “You. I- you- it’s- fuck.” He scowls, and you offer him your gentler smile, running a hand over the soft stubble on his jaw, even as you feel your blood start to go cold again.

“Dean, you don’t have to-“

“Yeah. I do, I-“ He catches your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles and speaking against them as if he’s trying to tell your body more than your mind. “I love you. A lot. So stop being cursed.”

You stare at him, your voice barely a breath. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Did it work?”

It did. The curse seemed to vanish the moment Dean kissed you—like it knew that what he was trying to tell you before he even said it—but now the world is just color and light and Dean. It’s enchanting. He’s enchanting. He’s all genuine and powerful focus on you, and. worry that makes you feel warm, and love you can suddenly see everywhere on him. You don’t know how you missed it before, because it’s in his eyes and coating his lips and in every flex of his body around you. It would knock you down if he wasn’t holding you. 

“Yeah.” You smile at Dean, and his own mouth tugs up slightly. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He shrugs. “Any time. I, uh, sorry about getting pissed about you and Sam.“

“It’s fine, I-“ You paused, frowning at him. “Were you jealous?”

He scowls, his cheeks turning a little red. “Obviously.”

“Of Sam-“

“You were really close with him all the time.” Dean snaps. “And I- you seemed pissed at me, and super stressed, and usually you’d come to me for that stuff, but you were hugging Sam and talking to him instead of me-“

“Because I don’t love Sam. I love you, that’s why I told you-”

“I didn’t fucking know that.” He grumbles. “I- Sam doesn’t know everything about how I feel about you, but he knew enough, and I- I thought you were choosing him- And I- You’re not my girl but you felt like my girl and I didn’t-“

“Your girl?” Your face splits into a wide smile, and some of the tension seems to leave Dean as he nods. 

“Yeah. If you want.”

“Yes.” You squeak, and Dean’s hand starts to run slowly down your thigh. “Yes, please.”

“You sure?” He raises his brows, and it’s really hard to think when he’s so close, and this is suddenly overwhelmingly real. He’s really broad and warm against you, and he’s really touching you, and he said the thing but that doesn’t mean-

“Yeah, but are, are you sure-“

“Baby, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He drawls, and you swallow as he leans in closer, his nose bumping yours. “And I’d be very happy to prove that.”

“Prove it?” You whisper, your eyes trapped onto his glimmering, darkened ones. “I, um, that, how-“

“However you’d like,” he says your name with a smirk, and it’s amazing how any all insecurity he had only a minute ago seems to have vanished. “You wanna tell me how’d you want me to prove it? Or do you need some suggestions?”

You might be drooling. “Suggestions, please.”

Dean hums, holding you carefully as he rises on his knees, bends you down onto the mattress, and starts to trace slow, taunting hands over your body.

“We could start slow,” he mutters, playing with the hem of your shorts, broad fingers brushing over your skin. “I could take my time with you, sweetheart. Do the proper thing, take you out to dinner and movie, wait until the third date to give you everything-“

“No!” You yelp. “Not slow-“

Dean’s hand slides under your shorts, his palm resting right over your already sore pussy, and he chuckles at your high gasp. 

“Alright, baby, not slow.” He leans down to pull you into a long, slow kiss, smirking against your lips as you start to grind into his hand. “But we’re going on a date. I’ve had years to plan it, wouldn’t want all my hard work to go to waste.”

You nod a little stupidly, your nails digging into his arm braced near your head. “How- what do you mean years-“

“You’re not the only one who had that at first sight thing.” Dean mutters, shaking his head slightly. “I’ve lost sleep over you, baby girl. We’re going to do this right, no witches involved, but,” he drops his head to kiss right behind your ear, humming as a high moan escapes your lips. “I’ve got a million things I want to do you, and fuck me if I’m going waste time not doing them.”

“Yeah, good, do that-“ You gasp as Dean’s thumb finds your clothed clit, starting to draw firm, fast circles around it. “Shit, Dean-“

“That’s my name.” He growls in your ear, flicking against you and smirking at your high whine. “C’mon, sweetheart gotta get you ready for me-“

“I, I’m ready-“

He chuckles. “No, you’re not. Wanna make you feel good, not break you.”

“What if, fuck-“ You feel a brief, sharp moment of cold air as Dean pulls your shorts and panties down, shoving two fingers into your cunt. He’s watching you so carefully, like he’s studying your every hitched breath and blurred gaze, smirking as he begins to slowly move inside of you, scissoring and crooking and pushing in deeper every time-

“What if what, pretty girl?” He teases, his pace increasing slightly. “Use your words.”

Your back arches off the bed as Dean re-angles his hand, pressing his palm to your clit and starting to rub strong, sharp circles as his fingers reach a blissful, almost painfully good pace, but remain too shallow to hit that sensitive spot deep your cunt and send you over the edge. “What if I want you to break me?” You gasp, your arm wrapping around his neck as he groans, dropping his brow against yours. “Please, Dean-“

“You, fuck-“ He grunts your name, and you feel something prodding at your inner thigh. “Not now, baby, need to be gentle-“

“No you don’t-“

“Yeah, I do.” Dean’s movements still as he rises on his knees over you, and you’re pretty certain the authoritative thing is supposed to be stern and intimidating, but it’s mostly just making you grind on his hand and reach up for him pathetically.

“Dean-“

“Listen to me.” He snaps, grabbing your wrist and pinning it to the mattress, sighing as you moan again, squeezing around his fingers, still in your cunt. “Fuck, you nearly just died-“

“I’m okay now.” You whisper. “I feel great. I feel, fuck Dean, I feel so good-“

He hisses as you spread your legs, writhing on the bed for anything, at this point you’ll take anything Dean offers you-

“Fuck yeah, you do.” He mutters, his fingers starting to pump slowly again, scanning over your body with an almost awestruck expression. “Bet you feel like heaven, baby girl, but we need to go slow. I promise I can wreck you later, but today-“

“Slow.” You sigh, and he nods.

“Slow. But,” Dean’s free hand starts to trail under your shirt, palming at your breasts, rolling your nipples between calloused, strong fingers. “Doesn’t mean we can’t take care of you, sweetheart. I’m going to fuck this tight little pussy, still going to get you fucking cockdrunk. Okay?”

You nod, your eyes slightly glazed over, and Dean bends his fingers deep inside you, right one that spot, letting out a low gasp as you whine.

“Say okay, sweetheart.” He grunts, his hand moving from your breast, over your neck, to your mouth, pressing his thumb on your lower lip until it parts. You moan against him, your eyes fluttering slightly, and you’re already too high, too needy, to do anything but listen.

“Okay.”

“Good girl.” He coos, slowly pushing his thumb between your lips, his nostrils flaring when you start to suck on him with an abandon. “Fuck, so good, I can’t wait to ruin you, baby, you’re never gonna even think about another cock-“

You haven’t thought about another cock in years, and you haven’t even seen it yet. But Dean’s thumb is bumping the back of your throat, so all you can do is moan, give him your best pleading look, and let your head fall back as Dean’s fingers finally move inside of you, pushing and playing on the spot until your orgasm washes over you in bright waves of good. So good. Just, fuck, he’s good-

Dean’s thumb pulls out of your mouth with a pop, and he wipes a little bit of spit off on your upper lip before lowering his mouth to yours, this kiss far too soft and gentle for how you think you might die if he doesn’t fuck you now.

“Look so pretty, cumming on my hand.” Dean moves to the shell of your ear, his growling promise sending a shiver up your spine. “Bet you’ll look prettier fucking squeezing my cock.”

You barely have time to whimper when Dean yanks his fingers out of your cunt, rolls you over so you’re straddling his torso, and raises you up by your hips before pushing you right down onto his dick. You don’t even remember when he took off his pants, or where your shirt went, but those are worries for someone who isn’t being split open on Dean’s cock. Who doesn’t have him drawing small circles on their inner thigh, or isn’t being held up by his hand on their waist.

But you do. You have Dean everywhere, real and warm under your hands as you grip his shoulders, bumping deep against your cervix as he lets you adjust to the size of him, one broad finger reaching down to press—light and taunting—on your clit, and groaning as you squeeze around him.

“Shit,” Dean grunts your name, looking up at you under hooded eyes in a way you don’t think anyone’s ever looked at you before. As if you’re somewhere they’d always expected to be, and they’re still in awe that you’re there. “Gotta be careful, want this to-“

Dean cuts himself off with a hiss as you grind on him experientially, clenching again as he hits that electric spot deep inside you. He grabs you firm by your hips, stilling your every movement as he gives you a stern glower. 

“You need to listen.” His voice is gravely and lower than you’ve ever heard it, and you’d do whatever he told you to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t whine and scratch lightly at his chest. 

“Dean, move-“

“You gonna listen?”

“Yes, just, fuck-“ You gasp as he pulls you up with barely a grunt, slamming your right back down with a roll of your hips. 

“Want you to feel good, baby girl, but you need to be careful,” Dean drags one had down to squeeze your ass, his hand still on your waist drawing light circles around your clit. “Or next time might be more than wrecking.”

Your moan is vulgar and shameless, and you’re more than ready to devote sleep to figuring out what more than wrecking will look like, but right now you just fucking need this. 

“Need more, Dean,” you whisper. “Need it so bad-“

“I know, sweetheart.” He mutters, trailing his hand up your stomach to squeeze your breast, groaning when you squirm around him. “Think you’re ready to ride this cock? Think you can handle, shit-“

You’d stared to move the movement he’d said ride, rolling your body and arching your back, dragging every bit of confidence you have to grind down onto Dean’s cock, your nails sinking into his abdomen.

“Fuck, yeah.” Dean’s voice is a breath under you, and when you scan over him, he lookslike he’sa little wrecked himself.His eyes on yours are hooded and low, his voice dripping with that same dominating confidence, but something more delicate in the way he’s touching you. Not as if he’s afraid to break you, but afraid you’ll shatter him. 

And you did that. You wrecked Dean. And that lights a wildfire in your gut, running through your nerves until they’re sensitive and bare, and into your brain until it’s all just Dean.

You start to move. Slowly at first to test the waters, but—when Dean just groans and ruts up into you—quickly picking up pace until you’re bouncing on Dean’s cock, your thighs squeezing his torso and your clit rubbing on his abdomen, his ever grunt and hiss and bruising grip just making your need grow bigger as you slam him onto that deep spot-

“Shit, I’m- Slow down-“ 

Dean’s hiss is low, and you immediately obey, changing to long, slow movements as Dean hums. 

“There you go baby, such a good girl.” His hand moves from your ass to your lower back, rubbing soothing patterns as he praises you. “You’re so hot baby, fucking ruined on my cock-“

You make a high, breathless sound you don’t recognize, moving your hips in a circle to try and chase more friction, and Dean chuckles.

“You alright up there-“

“Good,” you moan, your eyes fluttering shut to try and focus your all on Dean beneath you. “So good, Dean, feels so good-“

“Need a little more?”

“Yes-“

“More descriptive than that, sweet girl.” He teases, and when this is done, you’re going to kill him. “Tell me who this pussy belongs to-“

“You,” the word falls out without thought, because most of you belongs to Dean. “Just you, only need you-“

“You love me?” Dean’s voice is low, and when you open your eyes to look at him, there’s a small chink in his armor. You don’t know if you pried it open, or if you’ve just never noticed, but you can see right into him, and he still doesn’t really believe that you love him.

And that’s the only thing you’ve ever really know. You loving Dean has been the only truly certain thing in your life, because Dean’s a given and loving him feels like breathing.

So you smile at him, reaching forward to cup his face, and tell him with everything you have, hoping he can hear how the words are in time with your heart.

“I love you,” you whisper. “And I’m yours.”

He blinks at you, shaking his head slightly even as his dick twitches inside you. “You don’t need to be, it’s- you know, dirty talk-“

“I know.” You shrug. “I’m still yours.”

Dean’s nostrils flare, and you know you’re not getting control back from him for the rest of the night.

You’re fine with that. Dean starts to rock you back and forth around him, letting you just fall into and around him, and your lost to any world that isn’t Dean. Isn’t his hand splayed on your lower back or his fingers digging into the skin of your hips and ass. Anything that isn’t his cock hitting part of you that you didn’t know existed and filling you up so much you’re not sure how you’re ever going to manage being empty again.

You don’t think you will have to manage. Dean’s holding you like he’s trying to brand himself on your body, like he needs you feel him for the rest of your life. And you will. You’ll feel the bliss Dean’s drawing from your body that’s better than any heaven you could have imagined, rising slowing below the surface, ready to burst at any moment.

You’ll hear him too. Hear every deep noise of his own pleasure, hear the slapping of his skin on yours, hear his low praise echo around your head and ribs for the rest of your life.

“You’re mine, baby girl.” He growls, the sound rumbling in his chest and rolling right into your pussy, making you throw your head back with a breathy whimper. “Fuck, you’re so hot riding me, feel so good around me, tight and warm-“

Dean cuts himself off with a hiss as you reach behind your body, your hand finding his balls to squeeze lightly. 

“Goddamnit, sweetheart-“ He groans, jerking slightly inside of you. “Fuck, keep doing that, so fucking needy for me, fucking soaking this cock-“

You grind around him, and his pace starts to lose rhythm. Even after he swats your hand away you know he’s lost his own self-control, and fuck he looks hot without it. Starting to rut up into you in uncontrolled movements, pulling you to pieces with a lustful, ardorous gaze and brutal pace and strong hands, moving back to your clit and rolling it between his fingers-

Your mouth falls open in a silent, needy cry of pleasure as your orgasm bursts over you. It’s not sudden, but you couldn’t never anticipated the power of it—like someone had doused you in gasoline that smells like whiskey and fruit, lit a match, and turned to into a star—or how it rides on and on, never seeming to crest or crash as Dean slams home inside of you, warmth coating your pussy and running down your thighs as he moans your name. 

Dean helps you float down to earth, leaving careful, deliberate touches on your skin and humming as his knees rising up to support you. You watch his gaze rakes down your body, lingering on where he can see himself spill out of your pussy, and moves to slowly drag through the mess, gathering some on two fingers before rising them up to your mouth. You open without hesitation and his throat bobs, his cock twitching inside you as you lick his release off his hand, your eyes never leaving his wide, reverent one.

“Son of a bitch.” He mutters. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

You let out a soft laugh. “You stole my line.”

“Nah.” He shrugs, tracing a hand over your cheek. “You could have anyone you want, baby, but you’re here, with an asshole like me-“

“You’re not an asshole.”

“Yeah, I am.” He shrugs, like you can’t see how his own words pierce him through that chink. “Shit, I just accused you of sleeping with Sam-“

“And I’ve been lying to you for years.” You lean down, resting your chin on his chest, giving him your widest smile. “Neither of us are saints, Dean. And I happen to be the right kind of fucked up to let possessiveness hot.” You pause, giving him your best stern glare. “To a degree. I will slap you the next time you accuse me of fucking Sam.” 

Dean laughs, his around wrapped—gentle and relaxed—around you. “Yes, ma’am.”

You hum, resting your head to the side, and you might be here for a hundred years. Time blurs and slows until it’s just Dean’s heartbeat near your ear, his thumb tracing a pattern on your arm, and his face buried in your hair. The end of the world might have already come to pass when his hand moves to your chin and he angles your gaze to his, and you wouldn’t really care. You’re still where you need to be.

“Would you,” he lets out a slow breath, all his cocky arrogance gone, his eyes on yours nervous. The hope is back, but it’s wrapped in soft fear. “I’m not good at- shit-“

He’s going to hurt himself, and you take pity on him. You lean does to press a sweet kiss to his mouth, letting your tongue trail over his lips, and rising back up with a small smile.

“Can we go on a date, Dean?” 

He chuckles, nodding. “Yeah. Whatever you want, baby girl.”

Your smile strains at your cheeks, because you only want Dean. 

And you’ll have to write Rowena a thank you note, because you finally have him.

End Note: Me make a story with no prior lore challenge: impossible

If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[bruhstories]

Bet IV

p.1 here & p2. here & p.3 here & p.5 here & p.6 here

mandatory mdni because things will start to get heated up in the following chapters.

summary: you're starting to feel things for the man who hired you to take care of his cat. but he's only being nice. that's it and nothing more. pairing: hwang in-ho/the front man x civilian!reader warnings & content: age gap, afab!reader, slightly detailed descriptions of reader’s background for plot purposes, red text for in-ho, purple for reader, pre 33rd squid game, canon divergent, domestic violence (reader gets slapped by her uncle), veeeery slow burn, reader's dad is dead w/c: 2.1k

a/n: if you would like to be tagged for the next part, please check this post! thank you for reading! please remember that if you asked to be tagged but i can't find your age on your blog, you will NOT be tagged. there will be smut and people dying lol.

"Where were you last night?"

You sighed at your uncle's question, sick and tired of explaining the same thing over and over again. He woke up earlier than he should have, especially for a man who worked night shifts at a warehouse. He did it on purpose, just to have more reasons to pick on you, and you knew that all too well. You lived through that hell for the past ten years.

"I told you, I was cat sitting." 

"Cat sitting." He repeated with derision in his voice. "You need to get a real job."

"I have two real jobs." You reminded him, and it took all your willpower not to raise your voice at him.

"Where's the money, then? Huh?" Your uncle grabbed you by the wrist, twisting it backwards.

"I'm getting paid today!"

"How much?" 

"660,326!" You cried out as his fingernails dug deeper into your skin.

"I better see that money on my nightstand by tomorrow morning." He let go of your wrist. "Keep the change."

How generous, you thought, rubbing the crescent-shaped dents in your skin. At least he didn't hit you, but your small victory crumbled when he turned on his heels, smacking you with the plastic fly swatter in his hand. Once. Twice. Thrice. 

You didn't cry, not in front of him. Never in front of him. 

But when you stepped through the doors of Mr. Hwang's penthouse, the dam broke, and tears streamed down your cheeks. They burned when they touched the cracked, swollen skin, courtesy of your uncle, but you still smiled at the sight of Eunjoo.

Instead of waiting next to the water bowl, like she had done before, the cat jumped on the countertop, her paw gently touching your wrist, where the imprinted dents of his fingernails were still visible. You didn't know why, but Eunjoo's gesture made you cry harder, heavy tears falling onto her plate. 

"Good kitty." You sobbed, daring to pet her, and she allowed it, nuzzling your hand for the first time since you met her.

Without wasting a single moment, you took out your phone to take a selfie of you and Eunjoo, and sent it to In-ho, with the caption 'Making progress!' You thought he might be happy to see her slowly lower her guard and get attached to you.

Who hurt you?

Stupid. How could you be so stupid to send a selfie when your cheek was grazed and puffy? Of course Mr. Hwang would ask about it, he was a nice man, one whose kindness you didn’t think you deserved.

I accidentally walked into a lamppost! Silly, right?

Hoping that the lie would be convincing enough, you carried on with your tasks after eating with Eunjoo, and to your surprise, it worked. It fooled him, but you weren’t proud of yourself in the slightest. 

You need to be more careful next time. If anything happened to you, who would take care of Eunjoo until I return?

It shouldn't have hurt reading his reply, and yet your heart ached. What did you expect? You were an employee, he obviously wanted his cat to be safe, not you. And how could someone like him even care about someone you? You came from different worlds that could never intertwine.

I will.

No thank you, no sad face — you were bitter, even though, rationally, you had no reason to be. Besides, you lied to him in the first place. Maybe if you told him the truth, he would have sent a different reply. It didn't matter. In less than five days he would come back, pay you and never speak to you again. Just like all rich people did.

You cleaned the bathrooms that morning, scrubbing the bath tubs, the toilets, the sinks and the floors until your fingertips stung and your head pounded from the bleach fumes. The vibration of your phone startled you, and you wiped your hands to check the notification.

Have I upset you?

Okay, maybe he did care. Or maybe he was just very observant and noticed your monotonous reply.

Not at all, I just have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry that you worried about me, or that I seemed upset! You're right, I need to be more careful next time.

Please don't take this the wrong way, miss, but I've never met anyone who apologised for making me worry about them. You're quite special.

You did a double take when you read Mr. Hwang's reply, and a wave of remorse crushed your heart. The man was too nice for you to lie to him, but you didn't want him involved in your family affairs, either. There was a strong internal conflict within you, a battle between honesty and dishonesty, but for the time being, dishonesty won, no matter how disgraceful it was.

Choosing not to reply, as time was ticking and the Abduls would be waiting for you soon, you swiftly finished tidying up the bathrooms and put away all the cleaning products so Eunjoo couldn't get to them. With the automatic feeder full, fresh water in the bowl and litter boxes clean, you left.

In all fairness, you didn't know what to reply to his text. No one called you special before, except for that one guy you dated who only wanted to sleep with you, and unfortunately succeeded. It wasn't your proudest moment, but you moved on since then. You stared at the text, typing a reply, then deleting it, then typing again, and you did that for the duration of the entire bus ride back to Guryong Village. By the time you knocked on Ali's door, you still hadn't come up with a response.

What could you even say? Thank you? Likewise? I'm sorry I lied to you, my uncle slapped me with the fly swatter? No. In telling the truth, Mr. Hwang would pity you, perhaps even offer you more money, or food, or clothes, and you didn't want to be pitied. You wanted your hard work to be recognised, not to use your social status or depressing background as an excuse.

Mrs. Abdul couldn't feed you that day, and that was fine. They needed to prioritise themselves, since they didn't live any better than you. Luckily, you saved enough money to buy a kimbap roll for lunch and a bag of rice crackers for dinner and breakfast. Resourcefulness was, perhaps, your strongest point and the reason you survived for so long.

The theme park was packed with tourists and locals, gathering to watch the parade, and you took the time to entertain children and take pictures with them, always on your feet, always working. Back in the dressing room, you took the comically large mascot head off, sweat dripping down your face and neck. Summers were worse — there were body parts you didn't think could sweat.

"Excuse me, Y/N?"

You looked up from your seat to a man around your age, a coworker named Donghyun. He had worked there for a few months or so, but you barely spoke.

"Yes?" You smiled, resting your elbows on the mascot head in your lap.

"We're getting paid today, and a few of us are going for drinks after work. I was wondering if you would like to come." Donghyun avoided looking into your eyes, nervously pinching the soft fur of his own mascot.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I have another job I need to get to. Maybe another time."

"Yeah, another time." He nodded. "Hey, could I get your number?"

"Why would you want my number?" You laughed, immediately pursing your lips when Donghyun frowned. "Sorry, yeah, of course I'll give you my number!"

You were such a people pleaser, it was ridiculous, but he seemed to feel better after saving your number in his phone. And there was no harm in making new friends.

"I'll text you later." Donghyun nodded with a smile and left.

What a strange interaction, you thought. It wasn't unusual for men to like you — you were pretty, smart, funny — but you just weren't interested in any of them. In fact, it was their age and maturity that didn't appeal to you. They acted like prepubescent pricks, trying to impress anything with a vagina and a pretty face by being obnoxious and loud and downright irritating.

Older men were different. They had manners, they were respectful and caring. They knew how to dress, knew how to speak to women, kind of like Mr. Hwang.

Oh. 

God, you needed to forcibly remove that thought from your mind before it spiraled into something worse. In-ho probably wanted nothing to do with you — no, he definitely didn’t want anything to do with you. He was just a nice gentleman who happened to not be married. Maybe he had a girlfriend that didn't live with him. Or maybe he worked so much he couldn't afford a relationship. 

Maybe he murdered people.

You laughed at that ridiculous idea — no one in their right mind would do that, especially not Mr. Hwang. He had a cat, for God's sake. Murderers usually killed animals, surely he was just a normal man with a lot on his mind, a workaholic, or a hermit.

Walking into your boss' office, you received your pay and counted the money — 662,326. You got more than you should've, completely forgetting about the pay rise. Your uncle didn't need to know about that, and you took the extra 2,326 and hid it in a small pocket inside your backpack, along with other money you saved. Unbeknownst to him, you secretly opened a savings account in the hopes that one day you would be able to leave and rent your own place, but you only had 1,094,463.60 won, which was barely enough to cover the deposit.

One day. One day you would leave all that abuse behind and have a fresh start. But today was not that day. 

Back in Gangnam-gu, you entered the penthouse earlier than normal and dropped your bag on the floor next to your worn and torn boots. You were hoping they would last through winter because you really couldn't afford a new pair. Eunjoo ran to greet you for the first time, and your heart was filled with joy at the sight of the cat rubbing against your leg. She was growing on you, and you soon realised how much you'd miss her when Mr. Hwang returned. Perhaps he'd let you visit her. 

You turned the TV on and played some songs by ABBA, the sadness of the morning gone, replaced only by joy and optimism. Things would turn out well, you just knew it. You grabbed In-ho's black clothes and placed them in the washing machine, all the while dancing to the beat of Money, Money, Money. It was a song you related to, but you didn't want to find a wealthy man. You just wanted to have enough money to survive without your uncle.

"It's a rich man's world." You sang to Eunjoo, who wiggled her butt, playfully attacking your feet. 

"All the things I could do if I had a little money, kitty. I would get my own apartment, I would donate to orphanages and charities. Oh, don't look at me like that." You frowned when Eunjoo stared at you judgmentally. "I would! There are people out there who need help. But you know what I would get for me? A hotteok! Ah, I would kill for that cinnamony goodness."

You placed the food on the floor and opened the pack of rice crackers. 

"My dad got me a hotteok on my seventh birthday. It was the best birthday ever and- oh my God, I'm talking to a cat." Laughing at the sudden realisation, you shook your head in disbelief. "Well, you're probably my only friend anyway. You don't judge me. You don't care if I'm rich or poor. You just listen and eat. Oh!"

Good evening, Mr. Hwang! Could I ask what your favourite dish is?

You decided that would be your gift. Cooking wasn't your strongest skill, but you were confident in yourself. And who didn't want to come back to a hot home-made meal? Maybe he liked jajangmyeon, or jjigae, or something sweet, like chapssaltteok. The possibilities were endless.

Beef Wellington. Why?

Your heart sunk to your stomach. Beef fucking Wellington? How on Earth could you even afford all the ingredients? The tenderloin itself was probably over 65,000 won. But you were going to do it for him, regardless of what it cost. You felt that Mr. Hwang deserved it. 

I was hoping to cook it for you when you returned. I'll admit, I didn't think it would be such a... fancy dish, but I'm sure I can manage. 

Have you tried it before?

I'm afraid not. Is it good?

Exquisite. You'll have to stay and try it when I return, yes?

Chewing on your bottom lip, your heart skipped a beat at his request. You knew he was just being nice, but you couldn't stop the sudden burning desire to just obey. 

Yeah, I'll stay. 

tagging: @ri1liane @anmert1 @syraxnyra @frshluvcats @lanyia @mettreads @nightdark-dreamdark @bridge-always @lovekm @audrey223 @ririgy @starkeyszn  @hobiesbrownsgf  @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry @maria-trisha @akiqvq @10hrs26mn @tenzko @okaycharr @politicstanner @moonxknightx @googie-jeon @swthrtbyeol  @mariiestfu  @ratsnestinmyhair @missroro @talia-the-gemini @fortluocha @true-queen-of-mischief @ssa-callahan @bibliophile-yomna @wwastro @heartsforseo @marymun @glads-stuff @starryeddie @kisses2kanao @gagaga167 @l4venderia @scryi @lelisae @twicelover2 @ashtrosstuff @cruel-affair @cdej6 @veragrhm @nikos-a-clown @cchewhaz @pepsicolacoochie @lily-ann-b @red22wolf @nellabear @unabletonotlovesatoru @happiness2112 @waterjewelsspite @luna-looniesnlog @plan3t-plut0 @full-sunnies @houta-habtet-houta @alexisabirdie @riri53 @bluehourss

[triangularz]

4-24-2025: Alright loves, with no responses/feedback to the red-text paragraph below, I'm sunsetting updates. wish I'd heard from y'all; I'll miss this! besos 💋 -> hazel

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2-2025- List usage: Thoughts welcome- is it being used? This project is my little contribution to our space here on tumblr, having seen comments about difficulties finding black authors and artists. I'm familiar with an incredible number of creators now; I'm so proud of us. I choose to do this unsolicited and unfortunately, this may not be a needed solution. I formatted the list about a year ago and have maintained it, which I think is something important and unique about it (every entry checked about once a month), hoping it might be beneficial. Many of you send thanks for being added to the list. But within the last year, less than five individuals have shared with me that they've actually used it (likes and reblogs aren't necessarily indicative of that) and very, very few have either asked to be added or sent additional writers/artists my way. Those requests have been clear virtually since the beginning. Without feedback I assume the list isn't impactful and that's fine. I'll wait until the end of March to decide whether to continue. Love you all! ❤︎

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List begins below housekeeping, then a few of my thoughts.

Using the list? If you find works you enjoy, let me know; I'd like to know whether this is helpful.

IMPORTANT NOTES ABOUT THE LIST | #-G

H-O | P-Z

Welcome & Celebrate! Darlings: This is a directory of Black individuals who create- different backgrounds, experiences, interests, etc-incl. a variety of preferences, writing styles, subgenres, fandoms, etc. Remember as you read: We don't all look alike, talk a like, live alike- and that's to be praised.

The focus is fan works creators: You’ll see some original fics/original art, and plenty of original characters in general.

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(Then removed after six months of blog inactivity)

deathc-re (op, jjk, mha, angel of death, (marvel, more- suggestive, nsfw)

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Some thoughts, with respect (roll your eyes if you’d like, it’s a lot of the same ole same old… if you do roll your eyes, send me a video of you doing it and I’ll try to care… jk I’m being cheeky, but there may be some newer folks here who might find this helpful!!):.

We’re very obviously diverse in artistic/creative style, speech, experience, philosophies, takes on the world, how frequently we post/ how prolific, our perspectives, personalities, all that… so find what you like, skip what you don't (Settings - Filtering for what you don’t want to fully see or just block). REBLOG (THEY’RE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIKES). GIVE PRAISE. THANK PEOPLE. particularly with specifics (I’m working on all this too, my lazy ass), we don’t need more of us to leave… ✔️

Creating and pinning a masterlist is SO HELPFUL! ppl can better find your original works OR use a unique tag for each of your works so that ppl can search within your blog. ✔️

Tagging is important for your works and what you reblog- character or fandom x black reader, x black!reader, x fluff, x smut, x smut with feelings, #blk fanfic writers, #blk writers, # blk fanfiction, see how others use tags, there are a shit ton more ✔️

Adding name and age to your blog is smart. Many, many folks have blogs that include explicit content and topics, and they choose to use age restrictions block those who follow or reach out to interact if a name/age aren’t listed on that person’s blog ✔️

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Besos, Hazel 💋

blk fanfic writer, triangularz

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**Nothing about this list is official or bound by any kind of external requirements/others' expectations- this is a project l've created. There are some content topics I'm uncomfortable with, so if I happen to skim, and note that a blog contains:

glorification of/detail recounting of themes like inc*st, harm to minors, r*pe/noncon, glorification of abuse or similar, I will not add.

As I spot check or if others notify me and I verify, I'll remove. I'll do so quietly, no call outs or big to do's

If I don't feel comfortable with other topics, etc. I have the right to exclude and again, that would be discretely. I'm talking primarily about content concerns, not blog exclusion because of petty foolishness or anything like that. I want as many of us as possible to be listed! ✔️

[unlimitedlust]

The Death Of Peace Of Mind - Noah Sebastian x Reader (+18)

Author’s Note:

This story was a request by an anon, and I hope I made justice to their imagination.

Warnings: Lots and lots of smut as always, masturbation, oral (both receiving), fingering, squirting, unprotected p in v, creampie, aftercare, Noah’s chain living rent free in my mind.

Once again: english is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

Tag request: @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning

WC: 2.8K

Final reminders: requests are open with Noah, but they may have an expiration date because I tend to have writer’s block with people I see in real life (that happened back in my teenage years with Anthony Kiedis and last year with Till Lindemann), so since I’m seeing Bad Omens this October, my stories with Noah might come to an end after this date, so if you have anything in mind, feel free to contact me, I’m all ears!!!

Please, if you enjoy it, don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment, your feedback is what keeps me writing!!!

End of Author’s Note

-0-

You missed him.

You texted each other daily, but you missed waking up to his beautiful voice singing random songs around the house, ordering take out food for anime marathon nights, fighting over ps5 games and even the bickering you had with each other on occasion.

But that’s the cost of being a world wide famous rockstar roommate.

You and Noah were friends for a few years now and even though the idea of being roommates was a temporary thing at the beginning, the dynamics between the two of you worked out so great you just settled with it, even though you already were financially stable enough to have your own place.

But honestly, that was just an excuse you kept repeating to yourself in order to deny the sparkles in your chest every time you saw him, every time you were with him or even thought about him.

You were friends and you never let those sparkles ignite inside you because you didn’t want to ruin it all and lose him.

However, being away from him for months now was driving you insane, and the fact he still had a couple of months on the road until he came back got you climbing up the walls in agony.

It took you his long absence to acknowledge that those sparks were actually a wildfire being kept under control by his presence.

And today you missed and wanted him so much you found yourself in his bedroom, rummaging through his clothes. You soon found one of his favorite hoodies to wear while home and put it on immediately, reveling in the smell of his cologne that lingered.

You studied his bed covered by a dark comforter and you couldn’t help but to wonder what is it like to have him there, unholy thoughts taking over your mind in record speed as you got all hot and bothered only by contemplating his bed and all the ways you’d crave for him to have you there.

You sprawled on his bed and a wicked idea came into your head as heat pooled between your legs.

Your hand found its way down your center while Noah’s image painted itself in your head. The first touch, despite being delicate, followed by a wave of pleasure spreading goosebumps all over your skin.

You closed your eyes and from there on, in your mind he was there with you. Those were his fingers instead of yours.

You imagined the way his thin nose would run up your neck before he kissed and nipped on it, the sinful ways his slender tattooed fingers would explore the curves on their way up your body until he wrapped them around your neck, choking you as he bottomed you out looking in your eyes.

Those thoughts alone were enough to make your fingers work harder on your nerve bud as your other hand squeezed one of your boobs from underneath his hoodie, his name leaving your lips in lascive whimpers as you got dangerously close to your orgasm in record speed, your hips shamelessly moving in sync with your hands for an extra shot of pleasure.

You were so concentrated and so close to your climax you didn’t hear the front door opening downstairs, nor the steps coming up the stairs and then halting by the bedroom door at the sight of you.

Noah, who’d came home earlier during a few days break to surprise you, was hypnotized not only by watching you fuck yourself off, but also by the way his name slipped out of your lips in filthy moans, and his pants seemed to get incredibly tight in matter of seconds.

He couldn’t help but to palm himself over his dark jeans, while he leant his other arm on the door jamb to get more comfortable to watch that show in front of him, his eyes switching from your lips chanting his name, to your hand on your breasts underneath his hoodie and to the hand inside your shorts, dying take them off and bury himself deep in you, to get coated in your slick, to feel you clenching around him.

He wanted to join you. He wanted you.

So when he realized you were a few strokes away from your orgasm, he cleared his throat to make his presence known, making you jump as you covered yourself, mortified that you’d been caught by him, your whole face burning in shame as you dropped your gaze, unable to take the smallest look at his reaction.

“I’m so sorry” Your apology came out as a whisper.

“I’m not” He licked his lips causing you to throb.

Noah closed the door behind himself and stood by the foot of the bed, arms crossed as he raked his eyes over your figure. He’d never looked at you like that, at least you’d never noticed, but at that very moment you were sure he also wanted you to be more than just his friend.

Still you decided to play dumb, you never thought you’d reach that point with him and now that he’d already caught you hands on, you wanted to see what he would do next.

“I’m so sorry, Noah, I shouldn’t have come to your room like that I…” He cut you off.

“You’re really sorry?”

“Yes”

“Then show me”

His words went straight to your core and your heart was beating so fast you thought you’d collapse in front of him.

“How?”

“Come here”

He motioned with his hand as you crawled on the bed towards him, his tall frame towering over you as you sat on your knees before him.

He cupped your cheek and ran his thumb over your lips, tugging on your lower lip, his eyes dark with lust as he watched you lick the pad of his thumb, twirling your tongue around it as he pushed his finger inside your mouth.

“I always knew you’d look good in my bed”

His confession made your blood run faster through your veins as he brought your head closer to his body, making you bend forwards as his fingers slid to the back of your head, entangling in your hair, your mouth now only inches away from the very evident bulge inside his pants.

Your hands went straight to his waistband, hooking your fingers on it as your eyes asked silently for his permission, which came with a reassuring nod in less than a second.

You pulled his pants down along with his boxers, freeing his very hard manhood right in front of your face, and knowing that he felt the same way towards you got you eager to show him how much you wanted him, how much you fantasized about him, how much you craved for him.

You flattened your tongue on the base of his underside, running it slowly all the way to his tip, twirling your tongue around it just like you’d done with his finger, making him let out a gasp as you kept on teasing his tip.

One of your hands moved up his thigh towards his shaft, holding onto its base as your lips wrapped around his tip and you started to bob your head up and down his length, hollowing your cheeks every time on their way back as your hand stroked the parts your mouth couldn’t fit in just yet.

But you’d make him fit.

Noah gritted his teeth when he felt his tip hitting the back of your throat over and over again as you fought your gag reflex, so hot by his reactions and by him getting close to his climax, twitching against your tongue, you just didn’t care.

When you were about to pull out a bit for some air, Noah kept you in place and thrust his hip forwards, going so deep your nose touched his pubic zone as he fucked your face. Despite being overwhelmed by the rhythm and the depth he was reaching, you couldn’t help but to squeeze your thighs together desperate for some friction as you almost came by how erotic having him fucking your face was.

“I’m… Fuck…” Noah tried to pull out as he was clearly at his limit, but this time you were the one to keep him in.

“In my mouth please” You whimpered against his cock.

Your plea along with your hollowed cheeks was enough for him to buck his hips and spill in your tongue and down your throat in hot spurts, the moan coming from his lips in such a sinful tone got you aching between your legs.

You swallowed every drop of his spent and then wiped away the saliva on the corner of your lips as he watched you mesmerized with glazed eyes.

“Take off your clothes” He commanded, still a bit breathless, while he finished stripping off of his own, the sight of his tattoo covered body in front of you made your mouth go dry as he kneeled on the bed before you, leading you to lay down as he appreciated the view.

Noah spread your legs open and licked his lips at the sight of your glistening slick running down your folds and wetting his bed.

“You always get this wet thinking about me when I’m gone baby?”

Your cheeks burned and all you could do was nod as he now hovered over you, lips so close to yours you could already feel them. Even after having him deep in your throat and swallowing his load you felt shy, and he knew that, he knew you so well you couldn’t hide any emotions from him.

“Would it help if I told you I’ve been dreaming about you like this for a very good while?”

He peppered kisses from your jaw to your neck, sending shivers through your skin as you closed your eyes and revelled in the feel of his soft lips against such a sensitive area.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve got hard just with the thought of you” He nipped on your chin and your eyes met again “Why do you think I came home earlier? I just couldn’t stay another second away from my girl”

His lips claimed yours in a breathtaking kiss, his tongue danced against yours erotically, eagerly, as if he was trying to make up for the time lost, as if he wanted to show you through that kiss how much he wanted and desired you.

“Fuck, Noah…” Your mind was foggy, you couldn’t process if his revelations were real or if you were having another wet dream with him.

“I will, but not yet”

He nibbled on your lower lip and traveled down your body, his tongue teasing and his teeth grazing and swirling over your nipples languidly on his way down before he settled himself between your legs, eyes trained on your dripping pussy.

“I need to finish what you started first”

Noah wasted no time on burying his face in you, his tongue expertly eating you out and collecting all of your arousal before he focused on your swollen clit, swirling hard circles on it, making you claw the sheets and moan out his name as he’d found your most sensitive spot in matter of seconds.

Never letting up on the work with his tongue and lips, he slid a finger inside you, immediately going for that magic spongy spot and how quick he found it made you gasp with the added wave of pleasure, the knot on your lower stomach ready to snap at any moment at that pace.

Once he realized he got you where he wanted, Noah added a second finger inside you and placed his free hand between your hip bones and below your navel, pressing down on it as he intensified both the work with his tongue and fingers, making you arch your back upwards and cry out in pleasure with a new found kind of pleasure bubbling up inside.

It all felt too much, too strong, too intense, the way his mouth and his fingers worked on you, along with the pressure on your lower belly made you snap in a way you never did before, your body trembling hard as electric shocks ran through your veins as you, completely overwhelmed by pleasure, felt yourself, for the first time in your life, squirt from such an intense experience.

The sight of him between your legs, all disheveled, face wet with your fluids and blissed out expression on his face almost made you cum again.

“How did you just do that?” You asked flabbergasted and he hovered over you again and kissed you, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue.

“You’d never had it before?” He asked amused and proud of himself.

“No”

“Better get used to it then”

You shivered at his promise and kissed him again as you wrapped your arms around him, one of your hands entangling your fingers in his dark locks as the other ran down his back, feeling his muscles flexing as he settled himself between your legs, feeling him hard again as he rubbed against you, coating himself in your arousal, earning small cries out of you due to how sensitive you still were.

His hands traveled over your body, from your legs around his hips, through your breasts to the back of your head as he devoured you in a breathtaking kiss.

The way he ground against you, skipping your opening every time on purpose just to tease you, got you clawing on his back in impatience as you moved your hips trying to meet him.

“Noah please” You breathed out, desperate to feel him inside you.

“On one condition” He lined his tip against your entrance “Eyes on me. Understand?”

“Yes, please pl…” Your pleading was interrupted by a loud gasp from your lungs as he finally pushed in, a low grunt coming from his lips as he sank himself inside you, your thigh walls making him grit his teeth as bottomed you out slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size.

“Fuck”

He mumbled as he started to thrust his hips, hard and steady, his pelvis rubbing against your clit and pushing himself all the way in every time making you roll your eyes back with each slam.

“Eyes. On. Me” He commanded as he grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him as he intensified his movements and sped up his pace, turning you into a moaning mess under him as he claimed you with every thrust.

To watch him there, on top of you, the chain around his neck dangling over your face as he fucked you raw, plus the feeling of his cock rubbing all the right places inside you got you climbing to the top of the mountain of ecstasy for your next free fall.

Even your best dreams didn’t come close to how amazing he felt in reality, and that realization got you seeing stars as each pound.

Feeling the way your walls clenched around him, Noah stood up straight sitting on his knees and pulled you closer, putting your calves on his chest and shoulders as he held you against him with your thighs on his abs as he kept slamming himself in you, the new position and the new angle causing you to cry out in pleasure as he now set a frantic pace.

You tried helplessly to hold onto the headboard but it was no use when shockwaves spread over your veins again and your body started to quiver against him as the tight knot on your stomach snapped violently, sending you over the edge as you moaned out his name in pure bliss, the feel of your climax against himself making him cum with you, the way he twitched inside you emptying himself out in long hot spurts taking your high to another level at how erotic and sensual it all felt.

Seeing Noah before you, cheeks red, hair strands damp in sweat as he pulled out of you and watched his cum running out of you with a grin on his face almost had you ready for another round as you, exhausted, admired him with raw passion in your eyes after everything you’d just done.

He bent down to kiss you tenderly before he got out of the bed to his bathroom, coming back for you moments later with a towel in his hands, cleaning you as he peppered small kisses randomly over you, cherishing every bit of you while he finally got you clean.

He snuggled up in the bed by your side and pulled you into his arms, kissing your forehead as he held you tightly against his chest.

“You have know idea how long I’ve been dreaming about you like this here with me” He confessed lovingly, running his fingers up and down your arms.

“Bet you weren’t expecting such a welcome party when you decided to come home earlier” You joked, loving the way his laughter rumbled from his chest against your head.

“If I knew it I’d come home sooner” He breathed out in tiredness “I have something I need to ask you”

“What?” You questioned back, looking up to meet his eyes.

“Come with me for the rest of the tour?”

[britestarz]

Hello Hello!! Welcome to my multifandom blog! Now here's my....

I N T R O P O S T !

(Oh god ignore this poorly made header I'm trying my best to make this pretty as possible waaaa-/silly)

First of all, My name is Hoshi! But you can also call me Brite, Britening, or Sixty Three!

I am a square with AuDHD, anxiety, and a few other things I prefer to keep personal. My age is in between 13-17.

I'm pan and bigender, my pronouns are She/Her, or He/Him!

^ By Me!

^ By @smal5504 (TYSM!!!!)

I do draw and make art here and there but not very often, as I tend to have massive artblock, and lack any motivation. (This is why I do not take requests rn!! Sorry... 💔)

My goal is to make a lot of friends here! But I kinda do have a bit of an issue with texting first... so if you want, reach out to me and say hi! (I might take a while to respond due to my anxiety)

I have a bit of bad grammar/writing so apologies if something I say doesn't make much sense, please let me know!

I'm into a truckload of fandoms that include the following: LearningBlocks, StoryBots, BatWheels, Object Shows, Portal, Dog Man, Avm/Ava, Animal Crossing, Mr Men Little Miss, TADC, Plants Vs Zombies, JS&B, Cookie Run, Nickelodeon, and a thousand more i may have forgot to list. (Fandoms in bold are my main hyperfixations!)

Oh! Since i'm into so many fandoms, I want to make one thing clear, please don't follow me for one specific fandom. I repeat, do not follow me for one specific fandom!/nm/gentle the last thing I would want to do is upset my fans, and my hyperfixations tend to change alot! So, unless you want to see never ending fandom junk follow at your own risk/silly

Hmmm... what else can I put here?... OOH!

Tag Stuffs!!

#brite's text posts - I don't do these very often as I don't have much to really talk about so this is rare lol

#brite's nick jr interests - I only used this tag a couple of times when I brainrotted over nick jr shows in December 2024 but I plan on using it again, it's basically where I either reblog or post about my special interests that revolve around nick jr shows

#brite doesn't know what to post today - A tag I would put if I genuinely have nothing to post (I totally did not make this up while writing this/silly)

-> MY STRAWPAGE!!! <-

(Idk how I forgot to add it when I was making this omg I am so sorry 😭/silly)

DNI CRITERIA!!

And that's really all I have to say about me my friends! Thanks for stopping by and reading this, don't forget to follow me too if you want!

[18shadesofmay]

summary of mine and @definitelynotnia's most recent developments on the crabbo case, summarised by chatgpt because we texted way to much to manually scroll utna saara :P

Here's a summary of your investigation:

Initial Clue: You searched Lancey's blog for "thirteen-deaths-later" and found repeated reblogs of a single post.

New Players: The reblogs introduced @questionableresponses and @zeherili-ankhein as potential suspects.

Chase's Directions: Chase advised checking @0lympian-c0uncil's blog and combining the findings from both sources.

Additional Suspect: On "0lympian-c0uncil's" blog, you identified @wolfer13579 as relevant.

Suspects List: Current suspects include @questionableresponses, @zeherili-ankhein, and @wolfer13579.

Cult Theory: You found hints about a cult that Lancey might have created, with "zeherili-ankhein" possibly involved.

Crab Emoji: You suspect @re-bulbul and Lancey might be using the crab emoji together, but Lancey denied being "crabbo." (adi here, also lancey confirmed that it's just one person.)

Behavior Analysis: "Crabbo" identified as male (we think, unless we misunderstood), with a laugh similar to Lancey's, suggesting a potential close relationship between Lancey and "bulbul."

Final Clue: Despite connections, "bulbul" was ruled out due to specific tags and the lack of emoji use. (adi here, also bulbul got some very suspicious asks that looked like crabbo and had a crabsticks tag. so we ruled bulbul out.)

Tasks from Chase: You need to decipher @chimera-tail's tasks, but you're also focused on identifying misleading players like "zeherili-ankhein" and "questionableresponses."

[h0ll0w-gr0v3]

𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑜? 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑜... 𝐼𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛?-

𝑌𝑒𝑝! 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑜.. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 #13. 𝑂𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑅𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛- 𝐼'𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑇𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 11. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑁𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑑 "𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝐺𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒" ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑇𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 11 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜, 𝐼 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑇𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 15 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑎.

𝑁𝑜, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑘𝑒. 𝑁𝑜, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑌𝑒𝑠, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔.

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑢ℎ𝑚.. 𝐴𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒!

NAME: Raven

PRONOUNS: Any (Has no idea what they are)

LIKES: Animals, birds, nature, walks, monster, blue, red, black, skittles, any music aside from country, true crime, horror movies, a good thriller, their boyfriend, tumblr, pins, keychains, vandalism, night sky, good weather, plushies, rocks, painting, graphic tees, music, family, Marvel, caramel

DISLIKES: Country music, math, tight spaces, mentions of her trauma, dark humor unless it makes them laugh(rarely), hot weather, taking cold showers, orange flavored candies, being jump scared, loud noises, storms, flashing lights, yelling, blood, to much gore, cuts, nosy people, a lot of people around them, weird textures, things that look slightly off from the actual thing

( 𝚁𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜! 𝚂𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜! 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚍𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎!! )

𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜!

I'm EXTREMELY uncomfortable with NSFW things!! Please don't be freaky like that.

I'm definitely not consistent! Don't expect me to answer fast-

Please listen to things I say. It makes things easier for the both of us!

I have school, homework, real world problems, etc. I forget I exist as well at times. So don't expect everything from me! I'm a human being, just like you.

With the 1st one. Don't be racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc, in any way at all! It makes me uncomfortable and I don't find it funny.

I am the only person running this blog! I hate repeating myself but PLEASE don't expect everything from me!

This is mainly centered around Raven until we get to the good parts! Trust you'll see my goober cryptid :P

I will use CAPS, strike through text, colors, repeat repeat, alt3rati0n of text, maybe binary, maybe hex. I'm not sure! If you want the non messed up version it might be in the tags!! :3

( 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚋𝚢 @brianssock !! 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 :𝙿 )

HEAVILY inspired by the ask blog @habitual-creatures ,, I LOVE HOW THEY MADE IT I TOOK A LOT OF INSPO 🫶

𝙲𝚄𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽 𝙾𝙵𝙵𝚂:

⚠️🥽 - 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚜 #⚠️🥽 anon

Mystery Guest tagged as #Mystery Guest

👁 Strikethrough - tagged as #👁 anon

Joanne✒️📖 - tagged as #✒️📖 anon

CHA0TICALLY,🕕 - tagged as #🕕 anon

Bifrons 🚪 - tagged as #🚪 anon

REGARDS, HABIT 🐇☠️ - tagged as

#🐇☠️ anon

Evan 🗡🎞 - tagged as #🗡🎞 anon

[katje-is-writing]

feral writer at large

I don't even know if introduction posts are a thing on tumblr at this point--it's been probably...10 years since I was on this site with any regularity?

Anyway, I made a completely new blog because I wanted a fresh start. I'm Katje and I'm here to talk about my writing. Hence...the blog name.

A bit about me in some bullet points!

Name: Katje van Loon

Age: I was there, Gandalf. I was there 3,000 years ago.... (I am an Ancient Millennial and I might reveal my actual age later when I'm drunk and depressed.)

What I Write: epic fantasy, science-fantasy romance, sci-fi sports romance, portal fantasy, sci-fi horror, poetry, post-apoc, romantasy.... If it fits under the umbrella genre of "speculative fiction" I'll probably flirt with it, at least.

Current WIPs: at least twelve. I tend to WIP-jump.

Finished drafts: ten novels or novellas. Assorted short stories and poetry collections besides that.

Published books: six. 1 novel and 2 poetry collections are available on retailers, two novellas and one novel are available exclusively to my newsletter and/or my reader membership.

Current projects: big one is re-launching my debut, first published in 2011 under the title Bellica and now to be re-released under the title Chosen of Kore with a new cover, new series name, and updated text.

I'm also re-writing the sequel to that book from the ground up for its re-launch. Chosen of Kore should release this November, and Star of Ixchel I'm hopeful will be ready for a 2026 release, but it might be 2027.

This year I'd also like to launch my Elemental Chemistry series, which is a spicy science-fantasy alien romance series with alien abduction, Mars needs women, and time travel in it. The prequel, Fate's Promise, has already been released to my newsletter list and my reader membership, but I'd like to get book 1, Stolen Fire, out to retailers this year. Assuming I'm ever able to finish edits.

As for writing, I WIP-jump. Right now I'm working on Star of Ixchel but two months ago I was feverishly working on the first in another series which is a sci-fi sports romance.

Affiliations: I am a proud member of Writers United, so you'll see me posting stuff under that tag quite a bit.

Fave genre to read: I read everything because I'm a writer & it's all useful, but my personal preference for genre runs to sci-fi, fantasy, and romance.

Favourite book: uhhh there is no possible way I could cho--Rootabaga Stories by Carl Sandburg.

Some non-bookish things about me

I have a Border Collie named Sirius Li ("the Dog Star") who lives with my mom for complicated reasons, but he is my baby and I adore him. Miss him every day.

Happily married to the love of my life, Mr. Katje. We've been together for 15 years now.

I am polyjamorous but I get hyperfixated on songs or artists sometimes and will listen to them on repeat until they become part of me.

I'm a devotional polytheist and I've been practicing witchcraft for 30 years.

I talk a lot, which is probably obvious by the length of this post.

What I'll be posting here

Stuff about writing, challenges like the Writers United 30 Day Challenge, stuff about my books, generally bookish content, indie publishing, things going on in the indie publishing or tradpub world (if I know about them/have a take).

As well I'll probably talk about TV shows, movies, video games, hobbies like knitting and crochet, my dog Sirius, everyday life stuff...oh, and shitposts. I do like a shitpost.

You will not see anything relating to politics (small-p or large-P) or current events in the world at large. My profiles are no-go zones for those topics.

(I always get asked why when I say this, so here is the short explanation: you cannot avoid those topics everywhere on the internet. It's a constant, 24/7 firehose of horror that our brains are actually not equipped to handle and it's destroying our collective health as a species.

I don't wish to be part of that firehose that you can't escape anywhere else. I write the books I do so I can help facilitate some small escape from the horrors of modern life. If I am then sharing those topics on my profile, I am no longer facilitating that escape for readers who may want to follow me on socials.

Other authors have different opinions on this and that's fine, but this is my line in the sand.)

Thanks for reading this far if you have! Here are some pictures of Sirius to brighten your day:

[addicted-to-reddit]

I’ve ruined every relationship and friendship my sister has, now I’m tearing apart her family, I’m happy about it (plus many edits and one update)

Edit: hi, so to anyone coming from those other subs, ya i will remove comments on my post that are rude and just done to bully me, ive already gotten some, and i realize my post has been shared in other areas, i know the subs as i got tagged by an automod, i didnt share my story to be bullied or called a liar so just screw off, i never asked to be posted in subreddits made to bully people because you think its fun to bully people get a damn life, heres a life lesson shit happens if you take two steps away from the keyboard neck beard idiots.

Posts got removed its all here now :p

Ive ruined every relationship and friendship my sister has, now im tearing apart her family, im happy about it

So, i (20F) have a sister, im going to call her kelly because why not, shes 22. Ever since she started dating shes also cheated, over and over again, a never ending cycle. Her first relationship she was 15, i was 13, she introduced me to brad, sweetheart, great dude. Two days later shes hanging out with her 'study partner' in her room an awful lot, i wasnt stupid, i figured out what she was doing, heck she told her friends, she bragged to them on our living room couch. As soon as she did that, i decided she wasnt a good person, she disgusted me.

So the next time her and her study partner were in her room, i took a picture through the keyhole in her door, they were just kissing, gross, but nothing bad. I waited and the next day stole her phone and got brads number, i texted him who i was and why i was messaging him, he didnt believe she was cheating, i sent him the picture and asked him not to tell her how he found out, he agreed.

They broke up obviously, she was heart broken, and accused her friends of telling him, she never suspected me, why would she? I was the suster who clung to her, copied everything she wore, did, watched, i admired her, and i kept up the act, i didnt want her knowing i knew, or what i had done. I hoped she had learnt her lesson, but she didnt.

The next real boyfriend was when she was 17 and i was 15, i had been watching her like a hawk, waiting for the next boyfriend. No one would date her for a while after brad, she was a cheater afterall, her 'study partner' didnt even want to date her, he already had a girlfriend afterall, that didnt last more then a month after braf broke up with kelly, someone told study partners gf he was a cheater, weird.

Anyways, in comes steven, hes trusting, maybe a bit dim, believes everyones good kinda thing, she convinced him that brad and her had only ever kissed no more, i didnt believe that but whatever. This innocent church boy truly believed she was a changed girl, after barely two years, ok sure. A month in and i had no dirt, im starting to think shes changed, bam, shes bragging to her friends about cheating on steven, i stay hidden, i need the details, i wish i had recorded the confession, but i didnt. What i did hear was her planning to meet side piece at the park the next afternoon. We were both old enough to leave the house whenever we wanted we just had to tell our mother we were leaving.

The next day she said she was going to the mall, i said i was hanging out with friends. I waited till she was a few minutes a head of me and then went to the park, i got pictures of the cuddling under a tree and kissing, rinse and repeat, steven swore to secrecy, did show her the pictures but this time there was no evidence who took them, she'd have caught me with the first ones but anyone could have caught them so blatantly in the park.

Relationship number three in enters bad boy, i hated him, he was rude, gross, and disrespectful, this one was more questionable for me, he was clearly a rebound, only a few weeks later. But i thought he might be the type to hurt her if something like cheating happened, so i had to get her to break it off, or him choose to leave her without it being her fault, even though she was horrid. I planned and plotted, waiting for evidence they werent right, and could you believe it, they were cheating on each other......with the same guy. I kinda thought calling them out may just make them a throuple, i was wrong, he hated the idea of someone knowing he was gay so when he found out she knew he was bi, he ditched so fast there was fire where his tires were.

Three down, my sister still has no idea whos doing it, but shes suspicious i know because she was ranting to me, about me, and didnt know, then she told me her plan, she would tell each friend something different, and see which story the next boyfriend got. I helped her come up with the fake names, and looks, and locations. It was kinda fun actually.

So boyfriend number 4 was actually just a guy friend of hers in on the plot, he wanted Kelly so bad he'd do anything for her attention. She told friend A she was cheating on 4 with a blonde dude and meeting him at the ice cream shop tomorrow. Friend b got brown hair and beach, friend c had red hair and house, and friend d got bald and starbucks.

Kelly wanted me to scope out the ice cream shop, kelly was at home, and 4 went to starbucks, no one was at the beach. But kelly figured if none of us saw any friend near any building, then friend B was the culprit. We did just that, it was kinda funny getting her constant texts asking if anyone saw anyone yet, she was panicking because B and her had been friends since diapers and she didnt want it to be B.

In the end no friends showed up, and she sent B a rant about being a bad friend and telling her exs about her cheating, B denied it heavily, but the friendship was in pieces, A took b's side saying kelly was crazy to think it was them, and C took kellys side saying it was suspicious that a,c,d didnt show up to the spots and that logic pointed at b, d thought they were all insane and actually accused me, pointing out that if i was the tattle no friend wiuld have shown up anywheres, and that since no one was at the beach they couldnt know. Kelly was offended, and said id never do that to her, i loved her far to much to hurt her, we were sisters after all.

In the end D went with a and b because kelly in her mind was delusional, c stayed with kelly. 4 and kelly did not become an actual couple, kelly thinking the rat was gone started dating luca.

Poor sweet luca, yours was the most tragic, for she cheated on him with his twin brother, this was when sge was 20, i was 18, maybe to old for this but not done yet, i wouldnt let het waste a guys life.

It took me longer to catch onto this one, twin boys, never questioned pictures on snap, never questioned the guys looks, how could i? They were twins. Until luca shaved his head for a friebd with cancer, but twin did not.

I got a video of them in his car kissing, sent it to luca and wiped my hands clean, he showed her the video and she flipped out, she hadnt told anyone about the cheating this time, not me, not C, not 4. And since they were twins she thought no one would notice.

Finally, she dates 4, hes the only guy left in our small town dumb enough to. She of course, does the usual cheats on 4, heres my problem, i wasnt certain hed break up with her over cheating, or hed believe it at all. So i waited, gathered evidence, and in a twist turn if events i got a picture of c and 4 cheating. They cheated on her, i sent him the pictures of kelly cheating, and sent kelly the pictures of her cheating. It exploded.

She had no friends, not one, she chased them away, and everyone in our tiny town knew she was a cheater.

Now, you maybe wondering, why tell this story now, and why destroy my sister in such a way.

I hate her, ive hated her since i was a kid, see, we are only half sisters. We have the same dad, different moms, our dad cheated on her mom with my mom. My mom who i loved, was disabled, and my father had a better lawyer, when i was 5 he stole me from her, legally i suppose, but my mom was given visitation, nothing more. I got to see her, one a week for an hour, as she was not deemed safe to have a child. When i got older i would sneak to her house after school to be with her more.

My darling older sister caught me, and told our father, we went back to court and as a dumb 8 year old i blurted out that i hated my father, that he was a cheater and scum, and i wished he never knew me. It was decided my mother was alienating me from my father. And visitation was cut, i was thrown in therapy to fix my feelings about my father, now yes i know she was only 10, but she never apologized, even when i brought it up she saw no wrong.

My mother died a year later, and i was forbidden to attend her funeral by my father, my materal grandparents tried to force his hand, went to court, but were shot down, told only my mother could have fought my father, and unless they had proof he was a bad parent they shouldnt waste their time. My fathers wife had forgiven him, nit very smart in my opinion. And raised me with him, and i had my sister who i hated.

I pretended not to, the best revenge is a dish best served cold.

Now, why tell this story now? Because my darling half sister uses this subreddit, i dont think shes posted, but she has lurked, and im moving out, into my materal grandparents home, why now at 20 and not 18?

Because today the final nail of my revenge went into the coffin, i left pictures all over the house of my father cheating on my step mother with various women, all have the dates marked on them, from the time they took me in to about a week ago. Walmart having a photoprintet was helpful.

And so, all i wish for, is to destroy my father, and my sister, as my stepmother, who i feel bad for, has a prenup, if he cheats on her, he gets nothing. She owns the house, the cars, the summer house, they have a joint bank account that he might drain, but to my knowledge the vast amount of her money is in her seperate account. Shes rich rich, to the point she paid for everything i needed as a kid and smiled doing it, i dont know if she ever resented me, but she never showed it, she treated me exactly like my sister.

But as well as that, ive also left proof my sister knew our father was cheating on her, proof that my darling sister knew her mother was being cheated on and said nothing. From chat logs, to voice records, to even literal recipes of gifts he bought her to shut her up, its all there, waiting in the house.

And today, both my sister and father are gone for the weekend, my step mother will be home in a few hours, and i will be gone. Even if kelly sees this within ten seconds of it going live, she will never get home in time to clean up the mess.

Edit: ok i see alot about the keyhole, to explain my house was old old, made by the people in the town, back when my house was built people would yell 'help me build and ill buy the beer for the day', they made dumb style choices, every bedroom door in my house had a large hole under the handle shaped like a keyhole, it was built into this metal plate that was attached to the door knob, the keyholes do not function in anyway shape or form, as a lock. My house was so old when we redid parts we found knob and tube wiring, the insulation was newspaper, old bed sheets, torn bible pages, and more, there was even a creepy doll. Other funky style choices in this house included as my sister called it a coraline door that originally led into a barn beside the house but the barn was long gone. The light switch to the basement was inside a bathroom no where near the basement door, the bathroom light switch was outside the bathroom. The clothes washer drain is connected to the shower and when the clothes washer is on the shower bubbles up sometimes and you have to turn the shower on to get rid of it. In the basement on the ceiling is a bunch of jar lids nailed into a piece of board because the old owners used to nail the lids up and screw the jars in to hold things like nails, screws, and broken glass according to my dad. The house is yacky and weird, things make little sense there was other things i dont remember at the moment but ya. Thought the keyhole thing was more common, am learning its not and am a bit surprised.

Edit to add: alot of you are convinced a rich lady needs to live in a nice house. The house we lived in was bought when she was pregnant with kelly, my dads grandparents and or great grandparents were the builders i think, not sure maybe not, all i know is it was his familys house for years, he grew up there. They lost ot though and had to move, he met and married step mom and they lived with her parents well looking for a place, he saw his hoise on sale and begged step mom for it, she agreed, on the condition that they only hire workers when necessary because her parents taught her only to spend money when necessary not needlessly. They had kelly he fixed one of the rooms a bit but to my knowledge no big repairs happened in that time as they had a baby and were busy. The repairs i know of when they got me, was mine and kellys rooms being cold, so he opened the wall to check the insulation of which it was old news paper, the plan was me and kelly stay in their room woth step mom and dad sleep on the couch till it was fixed. Well doing this he found the knob and tube wiring. We left the house well a professional fixed the electrical in the emtire house, then he finished insulating. When it comes to the old key holes step mom thought thry were cute, the only fixed one was the bathroom. He removed the old style handle, replaced it with one that locked, shoved something in the hole and plastered or painted over it i dont know. We also tore up all the carpet, which was two layers. And tore off wall paper from every room, well doing this in the living room we had found the coraline door as we called it, dad told me there used to be a barn right next to the house so he thought thats where it used to lead. Now if you opened it there was nothing because the barn was gone and they hadnt just left an open hole in the wall, but there was like six layers of wall paper over that door. These repairs and stuff were always happening, all dads because it was his paper and he knew what he was doing. I cant remember which happened when because i was a kid. Also yall seem to think 8 to 10 year olds are dumb and cant hold a grudge, which is crazy, because i believe i said the revenge started at 13, sure the situation started at 8, but i had from 8 till 13 to stew and be angry. And no i didnt do this because a 10 year old made a mistake i did it because my sister never saw what she did was wrong, she told me i got a better family out of it, that my mom was an r, that she did what was best and right, ect, and i hate her for that, for never apologizing, never seeing how she hurt me.

Edit: yall want an update, i can promise i will give one but things are hectic right now soooo just wait lol

Question: should i make a seperate post for the update or add it here when i decide its time? I keep seeing people type update me how does that work?

Question 2: someone suggested posting this in a revenge subreddit, i dont wanna like copy and repaste this, does anyone who reddits more then me know how to link the post or something in those subreddits so more people can enjoy it?

Question 3: i can now see it says theres been 2 cross posts, is that the thing i asked yall to do above? If yes how do i see where its been crossposted to? Ive been enjoying reading comments on reddit and tiktok and dont wanna miss any well im waiting for things to chill out.

Edit: whomsoever so DARED to send reddit care after me sucks to be you im already in therapy and learned a long time ago you dont have to tell no one shit! Until after the deed is done so its to late for a therapist to try and calm the burning flames in your heart!!!!!!!!

Edit: soooo yall will be getting an update i think some time today, i was gonna update now but a few minutes ago i got a call from my therapist, soooo i have an appointment now....any chance thats cause the video got on tiktok and he doom scrolled into it or is it just a coincidence?

Update: Ive ruined every relationship and friendship my sister has, now im tearing apart her family, im happy about it

Ok, hello people, you all wanted an update, the original is getting long so im making a second post about it.

So, i'll start off with my step mothers reaction, around the time she would have gotten home, i sat in front of my phone like a kid on Christmas waiting, to my disappointment all I got was a text message, it said 'tomorrow, lunch, fav pizza place (it said the actual name but you get what i mean)'. That was all, i was wondering if she was going to end my life, after some discussion with my friends I went, dumb? possibly, am i still alive? you could say that.

So, i meet step mom at the pizza shop i adore, we order and shes smiling at me, it was kinda creepy, she asked me if i knew why she invited me out, my response was probably dumb but i replied "to murder me?" she laughed shaking her head and told me she spent to much time keeping my dumb butt alive to off me now. She said the reason she invited me is because she now has no reason to keep my fathers secrets from me, me being the drama dung beetle i am i begged for info.

She provided, i still dont like her, but damn, she asked me if i knew about the way my parents met, obviously i said no, she explained that a cousin of hers, who i know as auntie sam, was throwing a party for her friends and family, sam was friends with my mom, but my mom had never met step mom and my dad, my mom was born blind, but liked parties anyways.

There was alcohol present but my mom only drank pop in a glass with ice, my step mom left early because she didnt like being away from kelly long, and my dad stayed. Sam introduced my father to my mother, sam had no reason to suspect anything would happen, sam was also already drunk to my step mothers knowledge. Sam doesnt know what happened from there, she didnt know if my father had gotten my mother a new cup with something more then pop, or if he had dropped something in her drink or if she grabbed the wrong cup. Sam glanced over at some point and saw my mother wobbling, and sam ran over, my mother was, to sams drunk mind, clearly drunk, there were lots of cups on the table so she at the time had assumed mom grabbed the wrong cup to many times. She brought my mom upstairs to sleep it off, that was the last time she saw my mom that night, but she saw my father a few times.

Sam continued to hang out with my mother and one day my mother announced she was pregnant, my mother did not have a partner at that time, sam did some mental math and flipped out asking my mother alot of questions but my mother laughed it off and said she didnt get pregnant at the party, but with a one night stand, sam accepted this hesitantly. After I was born, sam was babysitting me and kelly at the same time, her red flags went off again seeing us side by side, and she did a dna test, one with me and sam, figuring if it was a family member sam and me would be a slight match. we werent a match at all and she was relieved. But sam babysat us again when I was three and kelly five and according to step mom, sam couldnt stop staring at us, and did another test, me and kelly this time.

She got the results and her heart sank, me and kelly were a match, she said nothing for a bit, asking my mother occasional questions but couldnt hold back and told my step mother at some point who blew up at my father, he claimed he was drunk and mistook my mother for her, that there was consent but it was a mistake and happened only once. step mother agreed to forgive him on the condition he was part of my life, she said she thought hed admit to the fact my mother wouldnt want to be near him, but he and my mother went to court and an agreement was had.

Step mom said she wasnt happy with this but she went with it, when i kept getting distant from my father she gave him money for family therapy, and play dates, he used this money plus his money to hire a lawyer and basically steal me, by time she realized what he did she couldnt stop him. She still wanted little to nothing to do with me and didnt want to get involved, then my mother passed away and she said she realized one thing, if she left him now she was leaving me with an idiot who would probably sell me for a pair of shoes. If she left she could take kelly, but she had no claim to me and I never let her adopt me and that wasnt helping, she tried to help my grandparents fight for me but they were shot down and she decided she could put up with him to protect me (her words i dont know if its true).

She said she didnt care now, I knew the truth, she was divorcing him and she wouldnt have to think about him again, I asked her about kelly and she shrugged and said her daughter ended up a bit to much like her father for her liking and that she was going to give kelly a few options to try and fix the problems she saw in kelly such as therapy, cutting off her father, ect. But she was going to take everything from my father as the prenup they signed basically says cheater gets nothing but the clothes off their back, so exactly what I wanted.

We left it there, she hugged me and apologized for not being better and for screwing up so much, and making me hate her, and kelly, she said if i need help with anything to let her know. Im starting to think i misjudged her, dont know yet though. we parted there and i went home. I waited and waited and then got a call from my dad and did not answer, he texted me that i was a horrible daughter, that he wanted me out of his house (lol) and that he never wanted to see me again, that i destroyed his marriage over a dead woman who barely knew me. He was so mad about it but i texted and reminded him that he had years to stop cheating on step mom, and to not let me catch him and he could have had the picture perfect like he thought he deserved, i also called him a few choice words on my mothers behalf.

Next was kelly, she did in fact find the post, and apologized......NOT, she texted me paragraph after paragraph calling me a manipulative b-word, saying i spent my life lying to her face over a mistake she made when she was 10, that she didnt need to apologize or feel bad, that i should have liked being part of a new rich family, that i didnt need to tell her mother anything about her dad bribing her, or her cheating (i did tell step mom during the meeting), that it was my fault step mom gave her the ultimatum, which was get therapy, cut dad off, or find somewhere else to live. I just sent back a laughing emoji and blocked her and my dad. That was all yesterday.

Does not end there, as some of you know my therapist called me this morning, he asked if i had time to meet today and i did, so i met with him, and i walked in, he turned his laptop to face me and showed me the tiktok video about me, and asked "is this you", i couldnt stop laughing, and he just shook his head and said he had alot more work to do then he thought he did, but he was smiling, i saw that smile, he just didnt want to tell me he thought my revenge was awesome i know it. We chatted a bit about the situation, about how it was a bit far, i disagree, but whatever, i left.

Step mom called me later and asked for help with something, I went to her house curiously, she told me her lawyer told her to give dad yesterday to come get his shit and get out, he got what he could, and now today we were going to have a bonfire, i asked if this was lawyer approved and she shrugged and said its her stuff anyways, dad bought none of it and probably cant afford a lawyer to fight her. So we threw alot of stuff in a pile and let the flames burn, it was kinda fun, she invited auntie sam over who cried and hugged me because she felt bad for not telling me but she hated my father and wanted to be no where near him.

I showed step mom the texts from kelly and she called kelly and told her she had no one to blame but herself, and not to blame me for the fact she couldnt help chasing nice guys away and if she wanted to stick with a nice guy she should act less like her cheating mess of a father, and that kelly had a week to decide her choice, shes an adult and step mom can ditch her whenever she pleases, she hung up.

Step mom, me and auntie sam ordered pizza and step moms dad called her, asking what was going on and why kelly showed up at their house crying, step mom went inside, i have no idea what was said but she came out looking smug and told me not to worry about it because kelly wasnt my problem anymore, i shrugged it off and said whatever then. Anyways the day aint over yet but i have kelly and dad blocked, my maternal grandparents have confirmed that step mom was ready to sneak them money to lawyer up fight for me after mom died. I did confront her about not helping them when mom was alive but shes sticking to the story that she didnt know my father was taking them to court the second time until it was to late and she felt awkward contacting my mom after she helped steal her child.

My step mothers parents have also told me not to worry about my dad and kelly and that if they try anything after this they will wish they had licked their wounds and moved on. I dont know what my step mothers parents told kelly, but apparently they are highly against cheating of any kind and think kelly should do as step mom said, cut off dad and seek therapy and apologize to me.

I think thats everything, it was crazy for a bit there but im moving on with life, washing my hands of kelly and dad as far as im concerned, iffy on if im ditching step mom or not, she said shed completely understand if i did as she says she screwed up bad during my childhood, but she still wants to help me with expenses and stuff so idk. But either way, everyone in my tiny town knows what both of them did now, some people in my town actually found the post as well, not just my therapist, and drama spreads fast apparently, im also owning that shit when im asked about it because I want people to know what they did to me.

I dont think step mom is facing much backlash, she did give all the pictures i printed off to her lawyer who laughed at the pile and said me existing was enough proof for the divorce but the pile doesnt hurt, especially since i wrote the dates on many of the pictures and some were relatively recent.

I dont think this is as good as the original post because i never expected to make an update and ive kinda written this as it happened, and so ya, hope this calms the drama junkies in the comments and if anything else happens ill probably had it here to this post.

There will not be anymore updates

[zopy4]

introduction post

(last updated: june 9, 2025)

hi! i'm zopy4! (pronounced zaw-p-four.) my pronouns are she/her (they/them is ok though.) i mostly reblog stuff here, but sometimes i post art!

more info about me + other site links on my strawpage and pronouns page!

i also have a (currently on hiatus) gimmick blog: @lfthcs-daily (i wanna start it back up in the summer, but idk for certain)

things i'll post about here: (pink text is current obsessions, blue text is more dormant ones, purple text is music i still listen to a lot, just not might be listening to/thinking about as much)

"main" interests i'll post on here: osc (mainly ii but some others too), failboat (especially failtopia and the pokemon nuzlockes), itemlabel, general pokemon stuff

side interests that might come up here: conlangs (mainly toki pona), general nintendo stuff/nintendo games (mainly miitopia, tomodachi life, and rhythm heaven) + probably some other stuff that i don't feel like mentioning

current "main" music artists i like: lemon demon, tally hall, miracle musical, will wood, jack stauber, stomach book, general vocal synth music, chonny jash, jan misali, and some others

tag guide/byi/other info under the cut!

tag guide

#reblogs - reblog tag

#queue and me divine - queue tag (a circular design! doo doo doo doo doo!!!) (posts 0-3 times a day at 6 am, 12 pm, and 6 pm est based on how i feel)

#zopy4's favs - fav tag

#zopy4 art tag - art tag

#zopy4's asks - ask tag

#zopy4 wip tag - art works in progress

#me and the mutuals - mutualposting (stuff that reminds me of the mooties)

#iconic posts - (term used loosely) posts i think are iconic

#me core - posts with me energy

#posts i forgot i liked - self-explanatory

#from the drafts - draftposting for my stupid random thoughts

#saving for later - save tag

#obligatory silver spoon tag - blorbo from my shows tag (i love that spoon)

byi/byf

feel free to talk to me! i might be a little nervous though but i love making new friends here.

please tell me if i’m doing something wrong and i don’t know.

i don’t really like reblogging reblog bait. i might occasionally reblog it if it’s less serious but i try to avoid it.

please don’t send any donation/fundraiser asks.

(for anyone in the chonny jash fandom) i do a little bit of jashshipping on here (mainly eclipse) so if you’re uncomfortable with that feel free to block any related tags or don’t interact

current obsession song/on repeat song:

anyways that’s kinda it! enjoy your stay!!! :3

[radley-rambles]

I posted 8,300 times in 2022

That's 2,151 more posts than 2021!

373 posts created (4%)

7,927 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vaspider

@spaceshipkat

@fragrant-stars

@thelibrarianjesser

@headspace-hotel

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#jugemu jugemu go-kō-no-surikire kaijari-suigyo no suigyō-matsu unrai-matsu fūrai-matsu kū-neru tokoro ni sumu tokoro yaburakōji no burakōji

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hello yes I am another toothpaste pain experiencer

I am allergic to the mint flavouring in toothpaste and it is the worst

On the upside, I have discovered that watermelon flavoured toothpaste is a thing that exists, even if it is aimed at toddlers

W A T E R M E L O N T O O T H P A S T E

I have SUCH a mighty need, that sounds amazing

except uh, I would absolutely eat that stuff right out the tube

1,052 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

THE STRICTLY NO HEROICS (Feiwel & Friends, Macmillan Children’s, 2023) IS UP FOR PRE-ORDER!

[ID: cover of a book showing a figure in a gasmask, hoodie and gloves, leant on an old TV. A rainbow pride pin is pinned to their jacket. Text reads ‘STRICTLY NO HEROICS’ in neon pink and green, and ‘B. L. Radley’ in white.]

If you're a powerless normie in a world run by superheroes, you need three rules to survive:

1: Keep your head down

2: Don’t make enemies

3: STRICTLY NO HEROICS

When a hero gropes her best friend, Riley Jones breaks all of them.

​Her attempt at serving justice gets her fired from her summer job. Luckily, Sunnylake City’s biggest business is booming (literally, when there's C4 involved).

​Every villain wants henchmen: masked cronies who take their coffee orders, vacuum their secret lairs, and posture in the background while they fight. The HENCH agency provides a steady stream of drop-outs and losers who are willing to get beaten up by sidekicks for minimum wage.

​Riley might just be the perfect candidate.

I’ve worked so hard on this project, with an incredible team of people. And we’re getting closer to that sweet, sweet pub date (March 28, 2023)!

Any boosts would be greatly appreciated <3 Let’s give my debut some love?

If you like queer & wlw content, teenage activists organizing strikes, and superhero stories from the perspective of the civilians... this is the book for you!

Tweet!

Goodreads page!

PRE-ORDER NOW!

(If you’re short a bob but still want to get your hands on this glorious beast of a novel, consider requesting that your local library buy it! x)

2,470 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#3

has this already been done or

2,487 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

.....roe v wade being overturned is fucking horrific, but as I’ve already seen more than one grumbly ‘why are people still posting casually like nothing happened’ post, it feels like a great time to remind folks that a) performatively posting on social media is not activism and you don’t know what people are doing irl, b) not everyone is American, c) some people really mentally struggle with being surrounded 24/7 by doomposting and misery, d) not everyone is American, e) people often have sideblogs categorised by the sort of material they post, so you might not be following the place where they are posting about roe v wade, f) NOT EVERONE IS AMERICAN -

6,941 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

...Do you ever see people critiquing specific word usage in novels and wonder if they know that language can be used in fun and figurative ways? And that this is half the joy of writing?

An example off the top of my head - if I say ‘He gave a whisper of a smile’, it does not mean that the smile is literally whispering; it means that the word ‘whisper’ invokes a sense of smallness, due perhaps to subtlety or shyness, and that is something I want connected to your mental envisioning of this dude’s smile. 

Saying ‘But that makes no sense; a smile and a whisper are two different things’ misses the point e n t i r e l y

28,585 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[triangularz]

4-24-2025: Alright loves, with no responses/feedback to the red-text paragraph below, I'm sunsetting updates. wish I'd heard from y'all; I'll miss this! besos 💋 -> hazel

◼︎

2-2025 List usage: Thoughts welcome- is it being used? This project is my little contribution to our space here on tumblr, having seen comments about difficulties finding black authors and artists. I'm familiar with an incredible number of creators now; I'm so proud of us. I choose to do this unsolicited and unfortunately, this may not be a needed solution. I formatted the list about a year ago and have maintained it, which I think is something important and unique about it (every entry checked about once a month), hoping it might be beneficial. Many of you send thanks for being added to the list. But within the last year, less than five individuals have shared with me that they've actually used it (likes and reblogs aren't necessarily indicative of that) and very, very few have either asked to be added or sent additional writers/artists my way. Those requests have been clear virtually since the beginning. Without feedback I assume the list isn't impactful and that's fine. I'll wait until the end of March to decide whether to continue. Love you all!

◼︎

The list is updated fairly frequently, so reblogged versions may not be most recent; click here to be sure you’re viewing the latest. Monthly upkeep sweep (active in last 3 months; see also "Inactive w/Content section): 2/4/2025

P-Z

IMPORTANT NOTES + #-G | H-O

H-O

IMPORTANT NOTES + #-G

Welcome & Celebrate! Darlings: This is a growing, non exclusive directory of Black individuals who primarily create fanart and fanfiction (different backgrounds, experiences, interests, etc.) and represent a variety of preferences, styles, subgenres, fandoms, and a bit of original art and fiction.✔️

Let's make this thing successful. 1) If you find works you enjoy, reblog of course, but let me know (comment, dm, ask)! I love kudos from creators who are added, but it's critical to know the list is being used- that's its purpose! 2) This is a live resource; add the link to your pinned post ✔️

Want to be added? Click here and read "Growing It"✔️

abbrevs/definitions/listing of genres, styles, etc. here

when you find something you love: reblog comment repeat!

content tags are not all inclusive.

mix of mentions and hyperlinks because of tumblr’s limitations on each.

no masterlist? go to search within the blog for fandom titles, characters, featured tags, etc.

If a creator has not been active within the last 3 months, the entry moves to "Inactive w/Content" section. After 6 mi the, the entry is removed.

P

paperbaghero (original art- you tubers ex. mark plier, tyler

scheid, others) peachiseas (original art)

peachy-dove (op- sfw/nsfw)

@peachyblkdemonslayer- (fanart- jjk, sk8, tokrev, dc)

@pianta (fanart, original art)

pieflavoredartz (jjba fanart-ex. kira yoshikage,

diavolo)

pinkmirth (jjk, tekken, castlevania, mha, aot- mainly smut,

fluff/smut,✒️ )

potofstewie (aot, ds- smut, fluff, angst, horror)

preciousamethyst (black butler, sk8 infinity, mha, op, ty,

jjk, gangsta- smut, fluff, angst)

@prettyfilmz (wwe, spider-man- smut,🔹)

princessphilly (hockey, marvel, top gun maverick, blk

reader, blk oc- smut, kinks, fluff)

prncessrindou (tr- sfw/nsfw) prinnay (original art)

pwncez (jjk, mha- nsfw,✒️ )

R

@rafesfuckdoll (outer banks- smut, fluff, angst)

rahonn (ocs, one piece- killer, eustass kid- plot, angst, dc,

series)

ramonathinks (jjk, aot- smut)

ramp-it-up (daveed diggs, rafael casal, c. evans, s. stan,

hamilfam- series, fluff, smut, series,✒️ )

ranspuppy (tr, bl, hxh, h!!, knb, aot, jjk- plot, smut, dark

content, occasional fluff, black fem!reader)

reijnders (original art) renlo (original art)

@rhodesrider (wwe- key and jimmy uso, cody rhodes, roman

reigns, more- sfw/nsfw themes, plot, ocs)

rockybloo (original art)

roeroe-world (method man, devante swing, ryan destiny,

tupac shakur, nasir jones)

@ryomens-vixen (jjk- smut, dc)

S

@s-sugustar (aot, bleach, atsv/spiderman, naruto, one

piece, jjk, tr- dc, fluff, angst)

sageispunk (the bear, they cloned tyrone, triple frontier,

marvel, the last of us- smut, fluff, angst, dc)

salaciousdoll (tr, jjk, aot- smut)

sammysficfactory (aot, jjba, kpop, jjk, marvel- fluff, angst,

comedy, hcs, suggestive)

@sanjisluvbot (op, jjba, kenyan ashura, jjk, baki, naruto-

smut, angst, emotion, dc, yandere, series, ✒️ )

sassginaswanmills (wwe- smut, fluff, angst)

satellitedusterart (original art, ocs universes- sci-fi, fantasy

horror, religious horror, surreal comedy)

satorhime (jjk- fluff, comfort, emotion, nsfw)

saturn-rings-writes (the haunting of hill house, oscar isaac

hernandez roles, p. pascal roles, moon knight, avengers- fluff,

plot, smut)

screampied (jjk- sfw, nsfw)

@seiishindraws (ocs, original art)

@shegetsburned (jjk, kny, op,🔹)

shewrites02- (op, naruto, black panther- sfw/nsfw, fluff,

smut, plot) silly-thinkings (batman, jaime reyes- plot,

series)

@shishibazz (bleach- smut, fluff, dc)

sintiva (aot, jjk, cod- nsfw) sleepybrainiac (fanart, ocs,

original art) slippinninque (they cloned tyrone (fontaine)-

smut, fluff)

@slvttyplum (jjk, cm- smut, fluff, angst)

@soft-girl-musings (moon knight, the hobbit- sfw, fluff,

angst,✒️ ) soft-persephone (the flash, they cloned tyrone,

moon knight, p. pascal, minx, new girl, stumptown, p. pascal

roles, more- plot, sfw, series,✒️ )

southpauz (original art- ocs, fanart)

@st4rbwrry (formerly hellaville; aot, ds, jjk, naruto, bleach,

seven deadly sins- smut/nsfw, dc)

@starcrossedxwriter (m.b. jordan- plot, angst, smut, dark

content, series,✒️ )

starrysharks (original art, ocs, fanart- reassassination,

splatoon, ultimate excalibur, novabridge)

starslyt (jjk, aot, good girls)

strangeauthor (ocs, series) strwberry-halo (original art)

@starberryfarms (dungeon meshi, hq!!- fluff, suggestive,

series,🔹)

suguella (jjk- smut)

sunasbon (jjk- smut, angst, plot)

@sunshinescribes (one piece - sfw & nsfw, pwp, fluff,

series)

sweetbunanarchy (ocs, original art)

sweetdonutsart (ocs, original art)

sweet-potatah-pie (the princess and the frog- plot, sfw,

nsfw,✒️ )

T

tayatimiko (fanart- jjk, op, naruto, zelda, h!!, more)

tchallasbabymama (black panther- smut, fluff, angst,

series,✒️ )

@tetsuskei (h!!, genshin, one piece, fluff, smut, angst, dc)

@thecoochiefairy (jjk, aot- romance, smut, plot, emotion,

fantasy, comfort, black niche, + southern cultures, ✒️ )

thee-horny-thicky (mha, jjk, cod, ds, buddy daddies- sfw,

nsfw)

@thegifstories- (rhianna, childish gambino, beyonce, trey

songs, yahya abdul mateen II, trevante rhodes, doja cat, ryan

coogler, dave east, many more- series,✒️ )

theninthwonder (wwe- jey uso, jimmy uso, r. reigns, solo

sikoa- sfw, nsfw, angst, plot, series,✒️ )

@therabbitthatpostthings (jjk, ds, arcane- fluff, smut,

angst, plot)

thotsforvillainrights (mha- sfw, smut, plot, series)

@tiazvni (aot, jjk, more- smut)

tododeku-or-bust (PatroChilles- romance, hurt/comfort,

drama, ocs)

@torawro formerly diorsbrando (bleach, naruto,

mha, aot, jjk, jjba, more-fluff, smut, dc, incl. 11k)

toydrill (original and fanart- q-force, care bear stars, lolita

fashion, more)

@triangularz (op, jjk- depth/meaning, plot, comfort, humor,

fluff, sexually explicit)

@trippinsorrows (roman reigns- fluff, smut, plot, ocs,

series,🔹)

tsukiboo (h!!, aot, jjk- smut, some fluff)

tteokdoroki (jjk, bl, bnha, h!!, aot- smut, fluff, angst, plot, dc)

tvgals (mha, jjk) tyniamel (original art, ocs)

U

umber-cinders (black panther- smut, plot, dc, omegaverse/

abo, teratophilia, ✒️ most fics are 10k, incl. 209k)

usoppsstar (bleach, naruto, ds, h!!, spiderman, avatar the

last airbender, tmnt- fluff, smut, dc, angst)

uzumaki-rebellion (black panther- plot, nsfw, series, ✒️ ,

high word counts)

V

vvynia (the last of us- lgbtq, smut, fluff)

W

wakandamama (black panther, eternals, the bear, euphoria-

sfw, angst, smut, positive emotions, series,✒️ , incl. 20k+ )

wakandas-vibranium (marvel, they cloned tyrone, the last of

us, narcos, the mandalorian, series,✒️ )

wide-nose-and-wonderful (snowfall- sfw, angst, soft smut,

drama, series,✒️ incl. 39k+)

X

xblackreader (fanart, writing- wakanda forever attuma x

okoye, the bear, omegaverse,✒️ high word counts)

xoxovivafics (ocs, marvel ex. brunnhilde/valkyrie, bucky

barnes, loki, m’baku, more, stranger things- mature, explicit,

sfw,✒️ )

xsapphirescrollsx (s. stan, h. cavill, c. evans- sfw, smut,

dc,✒️ )

Y

@yoursweetinoccentdreams (mha, jjk, aot, ds- nsfw)

yuta-nation (jjk, genshin impact- smut, dc)

Z

zombinary (original art- some incl. horror, gore)

zu8her (haikyuu, op, jjk- smut)

▪️

INACTIVE WITH CONTENT

skillbattle (original art) periodbloodmanipulator (jjk- smau, hcs, fluff, nsfw) spliffymae (aot, jjk, bnha, h!!- fluff, smut, plot, series,✒️ ) residentfromnowhere (ds, jjk- smut, fluff, angst, yandere, kny imagines) shaguro (jjk, aot- sfw, nsfw) smiley-babe (mha- smut) @syntheticseraton1n (tr, op- smut) spitcrank (aot, jjk- smut, fluff, humor, dc)

▪️

Besos, Hazel 💋

blk fanfic writer, triangularz

▪️

**Nothing about this list is official or bound by any kind of external requirements/others' expectations- it's a project l've created. There are some content topics I'm uncomfortable with, so if I happen to skim, and note that a blog contains:

• glorification of/detail recounting of themes like inc*st, harm to minors, rape/noncon, glorification of abuse or similar, I will not add.

As I spot check or if others notify me and I verify, I'll remove. I'll do so quietly, no call outs or big to do's

If I don't feel comfortable with other topics, etc. I have the right to exclude. I'm talking primarily about content concerns, not blog exclusion because of petty foolishness or anything like that. I want as many of us as possible to be included! ✔️

[afriendlyblackhottie]

P*$$Y Fairy

Summary: you and Chris just like to enjoy each other’s company away from LA sometimes. Part 2 of Risk.

Pairings: Chris Evans x black!popstar!reader

Warnings: Smut, fluff, daddy kink, oral sex (female receiving), weed use

Ask 1: um i just found out that chris evans used to smoke weed 😳 but like the sex tho?? 😩😩😩

Ask 2:  how are black!popstar!reader and Chris Evans doing because I loved that one

(A/N: this is like four WIPs combined into one because that second ask really helped me figure out what direction to take the first one in because for some reason I was str.ugg.ling. Apparently all the ideas I had were meant for Chris and black!popstar. Based on P*$$Y Fairy by Jhené Aiko and Positions by Ariana Grande. I also listened to the whole Confessions album while writing this because I don’t care that it came out when I was 11 it’s still so good. Anyway, reblog always 💜 ✌🏾)

Tagging: @titty-teetee​ @iam-laiya​ @zaddychris​ @hqneyyincc​ @mariahthelioness29​ @olyvoyl​ @liquorlaughslove​ @harrysthiccthighss @donutloverxo​ @queenoftheworldisdead @whiskey-cokenfanfic​ @night-of-the-living-shred​ @buckyownsmylife @blackmissfrizzle @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression​ (Just tagging people I know that read the last one)

——————————————————————————-

Things were hectic for sure. You had your career and he had his. Yet the romance was still enough to where you got swept up in. You felt like you were living in an old movie. He was always sending you flowers. When you couldn’t see each other he’d send you cute texts like they were love notes.

No one knew about what was going on, though. Sure everyone had fun on Twitter for a few days, but it quickly became yesterday’s news when everyone thought that was it. You’d sworn to secrecy to the point where your friends had no clue who your mystery man was. When anyone would ask you who sent the flowers you’d just shrug. Even on the card he’d sign with his middle name instead of his first.

He wanted to keep you to himself and vice versa. Like you were each other’s dirty little secret. It didn’t matter that everyone saw the chemistry between you. You like sneaking around with him when the both of you were in town. Sometimes even escaping the craziness of LA to just be together.

Like right now. It was stupid maybe. Everyone was bound to be worried because this was last minute and you’d left your phone at home and yet it still sounded like the best idea ever. You’d been so stressed about your newest album when he’d asked you to go away with him. You weren’t going to turn spending the weekend with him down over stressing and arguing with your producers.

As you laid in bed tangled in the sheets beside him it felt so worth it. The polaroid camera you’d picked up flashed as he took another picture of you as you let out another puff of smoke, you giggled throwing your head back making him do another one. “I think this one is my favorite,” he said, looking down at it with a smile on his face.

You raised up letting the sheet fall from around your breasts so you could look at it. “I love it,” you said, resting your chin on his bicep. He kissed your forehead before moving his lips to yours. He pushed you onto your back getting on top of you, tickling you at the same time until you were giggling again.

“Stop!” You tried to push his hands away still laughing as he took the blunt from your hand flipping over so he was beside you.

You rolled over so you were nestled into him. He was letting his hair grow out for a movie. He looked so damn good with that beard and that hair. You kissed his shoulder needing to feel him against your lips. He shivered looking at you before turning his head so you could kiss him.

He grabbed your hips so he could pull you on top of him. The way he was touching you, made your skin prickle. Your breathing heavy from how intense it felt to have him this close. Your head felt overwhelmed from all the sensations yet somehow it was like it wasn’t enough.

You laid on top of him. Enjoying the feeling of his chest moving up and down against yours. You bit your bottom lip feeling like you could fall asleep like this. He kissed your forehead again before peering up at him through heavy lidded eyes.

You don’t know you let out another giggle before kissing him. Were his lips always this soft. Yet his beard scratched against your skin. It felt so warm and inviting. Probably why you deepened it.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as you got better situated to straddled against his abs. He traced patterns into your skin with his fingertips. The soft lightening of the room only making you feel deeper into this haze you were in.

“I love you,” he mumbled.

“Yeah?” You asked him with a lazy smile spreading across your face.

He nodded, sitting up making you sit with your ass against his suddenly growing dick. “Yeah,” he breathed, looking down at your lips before nuzzling your face.

“I love you, too,” you replied, you put your head on his shoulder needing to feel him as close as possible. It never felt like it was enough.

All the flirting you’d done at that interview and this is how you’d ended up a few months later. Heads in the cloud in love. You never wanted to come down. When it was like this, it felt like nothing else even existed.

“Fuck that sounds so pretty,” he said, he smiled against your temple. “You’re so goddamn pretty, Baby. Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

You started kissing again except this time he sank you down on his dick. Making you feel so full you thought you might actually explode. He still had the blunt in his hand even as he helped you ride him, through no longer lit.

Your nipples were aching for his lips, but you were too lost to ask him to pay attention of them. His deep breaths tickling your neck yet making you feel more tingly. It was like you couldn’t think anymore. Just feel. Feel how good he always did you.

Combing his soft hair with your fingers. Tugging on the ends every time he went a little too deep. He was already stretching you out so good. It didn’t make sense how deep he got inside of you.

“Daddy,” you whimpered.

“That’s my girl,” he panted. “Yeah you like Daddy’s dick, huh, Y/N?”

You nodded. “Uh huh.”

“You love me?” He asked bouncing you up and down on top of him.

You nodded this whimper coming out of your mouth. Fuck you were getting so close. He was making you feel so good. You don’t think you ever felt like this before.

“Say it,” he demanded, moving you so you had to look in his eyes.

“I love you.” As your pussy clamped around him he forced you up and down his cock. “Fuck,” you cried, “I love you.”

“That’s my girl,” he said grabbing you so he could put you down on your back. He fully put out the blunt in the astray on the nightstand. He climbed back on top of you, spreading your legs out so wide as he started licking your pussy.

You gasped running your hands through his hair. “Fuck,” you repeated quivering as he tongue fucked you. The grip on the back of your thighs so strong as he had them in the air. His beard burning into your thighs.

“Oh, my god- Daddy!” You gasped as another orgasm creeped onto you. He was quick to move up so he could use that time to push into you. Moving his hips so he was deliberately brushing into your spot.

It was already too much. Why did he have to be doing this to you. “So good for me,” he whispered in your ear. “My girl, huh. No one else’s.”

“Never.” You tilted your head back and be took advantage, kissing prepping your throat with kisses. Then wrapping his hand around your throat gently.

“Love you so much,” he said, before finally bathing your tits in attention as if he was reading your mind. His mouth hitting this spot you’d desperately needed to be touched.

“I’m gonna,” you squeaked out like a warning, “I’m gonna cum.”

“That’s okay, Baby,” he panted. “Cum for me. Don’t you ever not cum for me.”

You started to nod when you felt it. Starting deep in your abdomen before spreading with this warmth over your lower half at the same time that this tingle sparked all over. It felt like you could turn inside out. Or like if he wasn’t on top of you, you might float away.

“That’s it.” He smiled lazily taking in how pretty you looked, your mouth open all wide as you squirted just for him. “Fuck,” he hissed as he began to reach that point soon after.

He’d fucked it into you until he couldn’t anymore before slumping on top of you. Drawing his hands around your waist so your back was arched, head buried in the valley between your breasts. You were pretty sure you could stay like this forever.

—————

At some point you had to get back to life. Inspiration seemed to hit you out of nowhere. Everyone thought you were crazy when you’d told them you wanted to scrape the album, but you couldn’t let the feeling go. You needed to capture those thoughts in your lyrics.

You didn’t want to admit that a huge chunk of the album was about him. About the things you did together. How he’d hold you down and fuck you just the way you liked. How no one else has ever been able to do you like he does.

He’d left to Boston to film another movie. It was kind of lonely in LA without him. It was crazy. You barely got to spend time with him as is even when you lived in the same city. Yet when he was away you missed him. Even the calls every night weren’t enough.

Which led to you sneaking off to Boston. You could try to keep a low profile. At least until you got to the safety of his home.

He picked you up in his Audi also you guess trying to keep a low profile in his baseball cap and sunglasses. Taking your bags after giving you a quick hug and a kiss hoping no one would notice the two of you. It was getting harder and harder for you to sneak away from everyone, but somehow you managed.

Dodger greeted you as you walked through the door. You got down to pet him while Chris went to set your things in his room. When he came back he pulled you into another hug, savoring this one.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said kissing you all sweetly. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” you sighed into him.

After washing the flight off of you and changing into something comfortable. The two of you enjoyed glasses of wine over the pad thai you’d ordered since neither one of you felt like cooking. You talked about finally maybe going public soon. About not wanting to hide it anymore.

You poured another glass of wine as he started kissing down your neck, pressing your stomach into the kitchen counter. He was so hard against you. He’d made you take him right there. First from behind and then turning you around so he could fuck you while you were sitting on top of it.

You scratched at his back as he carried you to the living room, bending you over again over the back of the couch. Somehow that led to you riding him on the stairs. Each time he’d made you cum so good yet still held on.

Finally he’d led you to his bedroom where he fucked you all night. Made you call him Daddy while he was deep in your stomach. Alternating between the intensity of his thrusts or pulling out to put you in all these positions so he could hold out longer.

When it was time for him to finally fill you he didn’t hold back. Cumming into you so deep that if you weren’t on birth control you were sure he would have just gotten you pregnant right then. The thought of it only made it so much more intense.

You’d finally fallen asleep all curled into him. Not being able to keep going any longer. He’d left you worn out barely even able to think. He whispered I love you against your skin.

When you woke up the next morning all wrapped up in him, both of your phones were loud going off. The buzzing noises against the wood of the nightstand made you jump. “What the fuck,” you groaned sleepily as you reached behind you to grab your iPhone. “Hello?” You asked with your voice feeling like it was all worn out.

“Y/N, where the hell are you?” Your agent asked. “And do not lie to me.”

“What?” You asked looking over to see Chris looking at his phone.

“Oh shit...”

“What?” You asked him.

“You’re with him right now?” Your agent asked and you groaned.

You wrinkled your nose as she kept talking because your brain kind of wasn’t turned on yet. “I’ll call you back.”

“Do not ha-“

But it was too late. Chris held out his phone showing you whatever was on his screen. “I’m not gonna lie I have no idea what’s going on right now,” you said putting your face into shoulder.

“Babe, they fucking got a picture of us,” he finally said.

“What?”

“Mhm. At the airport yesterday. Even got a good one of us kissing.”

You groaned. “Wow, we suck at disguising ourselves.”

He laughed bringing you close to him so you could lay on his chest. “I know.” He kissed the side of your head. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good.” You yawned into him. Your phone was still going off, but you just wanted to sleep.

“So I take it your team isn’t really happy that you’re here with me?” He asked.

You shrugged. “To be honest I don’t know if I actually care to even find out.”

He chuckled. “Good. Maybe this was a good thing?”

“Mhm. Now we don’t have to sneak around anymore.” You sighed contently. “I bet Twitter is having fun.”

“Oh definitely.” He laughed.

“I think you broke me,” you told him. Your legs felt all stiff and sore. Liked you’d just come back from a workout.

He placed more kisses on your face. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

“Why so you can break me some more.”

“Exactly,” he said. “Who do you think is going to be the most mad at us for this?”

“Hating ass people on Twitter,” you said with a chuckle. “Who will also be the happiest. I can imagine all the comments now.”

He laughed. “Oh, we’re definitely going to be reading them over breakfast.” He started rubbing your back trying to soothe you back to sleep even as you whispered to each other. You could worry about the outside world later. For right now you wanted to enjoy the cloud the two of you were alone on.

As he laid there, he promised himself that things would be different with you. That no matter what happened he’d stick beside you. Because as Chris looked down at you, your eyes closed all nestled into him he realized he didn’t want anyone else. You were it for him. And it didn’t matter what Twitter or your teams had to say. He didn’t care how crazy life got or how busy the both of you were. Now that he had you, he wasn’t letting go.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

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@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

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@gibbs274

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@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.