#might i add she is NOT for trade. never will be | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dawnslight-aegis · 3 months

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and that's a wrap on my tarot series! the upright majors, at least. there may be others sometime in the future if I am seized by a combination of insanity and hyperfixation once again.

you might notice a few cards are a bit (or in the case of the fool and alternate chariot, a lot) different! I did a few retakes for consistency/style.

below the read more I've included a bunch of notes about symbolism and reasoning behind my choices if that interests you!

(tag for individual card posts)

0. The Fool: Ardbert was really the only choice for this one. He's our stand-in, our shard, our mirror. Feo Ul is included partially because of lore (they are my co-WoL's shard on the First) and also because they also fit the themes of adventure and new beginnings and exploration. Most of the cards I played pretty loose on the posing vs traditional depictions, but this one I wanted to hew a little closer, which is why he's on a cliff with a foot hanging over the edge a bit, with his axe standing in for the bindle. This is my second attempt at the card -- the first was in Il Mheg, but I moved it to Kholusia (Ardbert's home) and dawn to more closely symbolize that it's the beginning of something. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 8/10, posing Feo Ul was annoying.

1. The Magician: This card could have had several subjects, chief among them Alphinaud or a more modern G'raha, but I settled on Alisaie a) because the other two cards I had in mind for her (Chariot and Justice) were already taken, and b) the card's focus on physical magic and depicting the "tools of the trade" reminded me a lot of Angelo's creation! So that's why she's here, and why I set the card in Matoya's Relict, among the tools of magicians who came before (Matoya, Y'shtola). I retook the shot because I was unsatisfied with the blurriness/the way the light covered her face in the first one. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 5/10, simple pose but working with Impact's spell effect complicated things.

2. The High Priestess: Another that I never questioned who would appear on it. Y'shtola's arc is entirely about uncovering forbidden, secret knowledge and wisdom, so she fits beautifully. The blue-white orb and the purple staff depict duality between dark and light, and how Y'shtola walks in two worlds, seeing things that are beyond sight, standing before an altar/holy place to the Night's Blessed. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. Premade pose, knew where I wanted to place her -- the only thing was finding a prop for her off hand.

3. The Empress: Hoo boy did Minfi give me some trouble. I knew that I wanted our Antecedent, who provides both authority and care for the Scions, to represent the Empress, but I struggled to find a depiction that wasn't, well, boring. Minfilia is deeply linked with the Solar, and I didn't want to lean too hard into Word of the Mother/Hydaelyn territory, so I settled on a triple goddess-like idea. Attempts: 3. Difficulty: 6/10. Not mechanically difficult, just conceptually.

4. The Emperor: Another one that I knew who I wanted but struggled with the concept. Haurchefant is very much emblematic of the stability, structure, and masculinity provided by the Emperor, but it wasn't until I decided to add his equally-Emperor-coded father that things settled into place. Together, Edmont and Haurchefant evoke the image of father and son as well as king and knight, filling both major male authority roles that the Emperor exemplifies. Attempts: 4. Difficulty: 6/10. Same as the Empress.

5. The Hierophant: this one was one of the hardest to choose a subject for -- the WoL's allies are largely a bunch of revolutionary firebrands, and I disagree HEAVILY with the popular choice of placing Aymeric here. So I landed on Alphinaud -- out of the Scions, he is the one most concerned with tradition and the "right" way to do things, with formal education and structure. He wants to bring Sharlayan into the modern day, not upend the institutions that raised him and that he very much still respects, much like how he still respects his very traditionally Hierophant-coded father. So I placed him in his family home with a sort of smug look since he can be a pretentious little shit sometimes (affectionate). The spell effect is from Kardia, and I paid special attention to having the shapes align perfectly with the lines in the background, to give a sense of stability and order to the shot, especially contrasted with Alisaie's more dynamic and chaotic depiction. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 4/10, entirely in alignment.

6. The Lovers: Hrasevelgr and Saint Shiva are a great choice for depicting the Lovers as two people, but no one does the Lovers in one subject better than Ysayle. Invoking the spirit of a woman who died for love in order to bring harmony to her people, but it truly being her own power and her own choice the whole time... it's great. Her pose is her transformation/summoning pose, turned into a gesture of affection, which I was particularly proud of. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 3/10, posing monsters is always a little funky.

7. The Chariot: This one has two options -- my co-WoL, Marz, and Tataru/Cid/Nero for the NPC variant. All 4 characters share a singular drive and refusal to let anything stop them once they've set their mind to something, and the 3 NPCs have the added benefit of being associated with a literal "chariot" in the form of airship design. Marz's place on Shadowkeeper has some lore associations (Cylva is her shard on the 13th) as well as being a void mirror to Kaede's sin eater shot. For both I wanted to have dynamic poses to evoke the activity of the card. Attempts: 1 (Marz), 2 (NPCs). Difficulty: 3/10 for both, no major hurdles once the lovely @/karoiseka pointed me at an airship in NG+.

8. Justice: The heart of the Justice card is its emphasis on truth, and no character in FFXIV is more committed to truth even in the face of great suffering than Aymeric de Borel. Because of this, the shot is taken at the top of the Vault, where he confronted his father over his concealment of the truth of the Dragonsong War. The card is usually depicted with a woman holding a sword and balanced scales -- Aymeric is holding his sword in a pose used in statues in the Pillars, and the symmetry of the shot/light and shadow split down the middle is meant to give the feeling of balance. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 1/10. I knew my concept, location, and shader before I even went in, and it came out exactly like I wanted.

9. The Hermit: Originally I had Urianger for this card, who still fits well, but when I moved him to Wheel of Fortune, there was a clear second choice: The Exarch. He even resembles the Hermit, with his cloak and staff, holding himself in isolation and possessing secret knowledge with which he guides the party. G'raha has grown out of this role as of Endwalker, but the Exarch fits it to a tee. I wanted to show his longing to return through his body language and reaching out for the portal that shows him the world he is set apart from. Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 4/10. Nothing major but did have to do two entirely separate cards lmao.

10. The Wheel of Fortune: The one I struggled with the most, conceptually. At first I had a more abstract choice, with the 3 starting city state leaders and Tataru, in a sort of "fate leads to the Scions" idea. But then I remembered that Urianger is a fortune teller who uses a wheel-like weapon with a literal wheel of cards, and, well. Yeah. The man is intimately associated with fate and choice, and the choice to place him on the moon is intentional, to separate him from his more secretive depictions in HW/ShB. He is the one who prepares our second option (flight) while giving us the choice to make our first (fight). Attempts: 2. Difficulty: 7/10. He's up on a high ledge that's not normally accessible and that's always a pain in the ass.

11. Strength: The one that started it all. The original shot of Kaede contained some layer elements I wasn't happy with so I ended up retaking it to better cohere with the others. Strength is about confidence and inner strength "leashing" power, symbolized by the woman and the tamed lion, and there's exactly one good lion model in XIV -- Forgiven Cruelty. It also has the fun side meaning of Kaede conquering and wielding the light that almost killed her. For Moenbryda's, I went with something simple -- her axe to symbolize her strength, but with her archon mark and the Sharlayan Thaliak statue prominently featured, emphasizing her intelligence. Attempts: 2 (Kaede), 1 (Moenbryda). Difficulty: 6/10. Kaede's was straightforward enough (though I had to wait an annoyingly long time for the sky to shift colors correctly), but Moenbryda's involved me floating her up on a building so i could get Thaliak in the shot correctly.

12. The Hanged Man: Holy moly this one was a PAIN IN THE ASS. I knew from the minute I started this what I wanted to do with it -- Lahabrea holding Thancred's ankle as he reaches for Minfilia. The Hanged Man is one that I felt it was especially important to mimic the iconic pose on the card, and this was how I decided to do it, but it took me over an hour and a half to accomplish. Anyway, the Zodiark idol stands in for the Tree of Life, which I really liked. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 10/10. Absolutely infuriating to have to pose 3 actors in three dimensional space like that.

13. Death: I only ever considered Estinien for this card. It stands for transformation and change, for shedding the old to make way for the new, and I chose to depict that by having his old corrupted drachen mail posed behind him like a shadow or an abandoned husk. He has left the hate and the rage behind, but the helmet is meant to symbolize that he always remembers it, and carries it with him so that he can do better. His lance is also vaguely reminiscent of the traditional Death scythe. That spot in Coerthas is where he challenges you in the early DRG quests while controlled by Nidhogg, as well as being just visually striking. Attempts: 1, but it took a while. Difficulty: 9/10. The ground is very much not flat, the helmet is on a minion, and I had to change angles and locations a few times.

14. Temperance: I briefly considered Hythlodaeus here, but Krile fits very well. Calm, competent, but unsure of her own worth. I chose Eureka Hydatos both for its importance to Krile as well as its easily accessible water -- instead of pouring from a cup, Krile is looking at her reflection. This one came together so quickly and easily. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 1/10. In and out of Eureka in less than 20 minutes.

15. The Tower: Originally, before I reshuffled, G'raha was going to be the Tower simply because I didn't know where to put him, and I couldn't think of an ally who is ultimately a destructive force, but it always bothered me because he truly didn't fit. Meteion, though -- despite her innocence and unwillingness, is THE destructive force within Endwalker's story. This card had the highest hurdles -- I had to get 7 friends to help me queue for Endsinger and then leave, and I almost couldn't get my tools to load Meteion in properly. After that it was smooth sailing, however. I used the whole lockout timer, but this was only the 4th shot I took, and it's one of my personal favorites. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 4/10, purely for queuing.

16. The Devil: Addiction, obsession, and control -- Zenos was the only answer for this card. I included Zero as well, despite intending this to be a primarily 6.0 and earlier set, to represent the humans bound in chains to the Devil, using the way she's pinned between Zenos and the scythe to symbolize that she's trapped. Afterward I realized this exact shot and character choice would have also worked quite well for the Tower, as well, but I ultimately prefer the Devil for him. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 3/10. Came together surprisingly easily, despite the fact that I had to make Zero's hat touch pose myself.

17. The Star: Symbolizing hope and new life, I can think of no one better suited than Ryne and the Empty. Ryne herself was given her own new life when Minfilia passed on her power, and the ability to make her own destiny -- and she used that power to revitalize a barren wasteland. My first version of this shot had a photoshopped in central star, but I decided to revisit the concept with an in game effect for the star instead. Helios provided what I needed, with the fun extra benefit of some additional rainbows (happy pride!). Attempts: 3. Difficulty: 3/10. Nothing crazy beyond trying to find a good angle to get the star in the shot, as well as Eden and the rainbow crystal. Second attempt I messed up the framing and had to redo it again.

18. The Moon: The card of dreams, fear, anxiety, and secrets, Gaia is perfect here (and a lovely companion to Ryne as the Star), though I did briefly consider Urianger as well. I wanted to have Gaia on the sand, with the moon hanging between the crystal walls of the Empty above her, but the angles would NOT cooperate to allow me to get the moon in the shot. So, levitation was the only answer. Fortunately it suits Gaia well, especially the distance that it evokes. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 6/10. I hate midair posing.

19. The Sun: Another card that sprang fully formed into my mind. Joy and fulfillment is symbolized by Lyse enjoying the morning light in a free Ala Mhigo, thinking of Papalymo. It also allowed me to get both of these very different characters into a single card, as they are very much a package deal, though I did consider Papalymo for the Hierophant as well. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. Came together very quickly.

20. Judgement: The last two cards of the Major Arcana are very high concept, with very lofty ideals, so they felt hard to pin down. I thought of doing both my WoLs here, or maybe Elidibus with his three forms for light, dark, and balance. But ultimately I ended up on Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus, as the sort of "final judgement" before the battle with the endsinger, the last step before everything ends. Their literal rebirth, the resolution of Emet-Selch's conflict with the WoL, the not-redemption but understanding reached, our efforts judged worthy -- it all just seemed to fit. The card design is simple but I hope the colors and emotion of the scene carry the weight of the arcana. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 2/10. No major roadblocks.

21. The World: At last we arrive at the end, not only the last posted but the last taken as well. I always knew I wanted Venat/Hydaelyn for this card, as she is the literal heart of our world, as well as an Azem who has reached the end of her journey, as Ardbert was one who was at the beginning of his all the way back at the Fool. But when I didn't use Elidibus anywhere else, I decided to add him here as well, since he also served as the heart of the star for a time. Light and dark united together, watching over Etheirys. The one who destroyed our world in order to save it, and the one who saved our world only to try to destroy it. Perfect symmetry, a completion of the circle. Attempts: 1. Difficulty: 9/10. I had to stitch together 3 separate screenshots in photoshop, with the fore and backgrounds cut apart so I could control the opacities separately. Probably the card that took me the longest, but it was worth it.

#ffxiv #ffxiv tarot #tarot #ffxiv gpose #had so much fun with this project #I've wanted to do it for years #I'll link this on twitter in a couple days but y'all get it early

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talaok · 2 years

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A little favor

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem! reader

summary: You fucked up a trade and want to make it up to Joel

warnings: smut | dub-con, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, virginity loss, daddy kink, a touch of dacryphilia, dumbification, and a bit self insert

"I'm sorry" you sobbed "I'm so sorry Joel, I swear I didn't see them and when I did it was too late and- and I'm sorry I didn't run in sooner" you were out of breath "I'm so sorry"

Your face was drenched with your own tears, even the sleeves of your shirt were in similar shape.

You had fucked up

Once again, one might add, but that's not the point.

You were supposed to keep guard as he traded some things, you didn't really know what, he never told you what, or anything really.

He just brought you with him and stuck you outside to look out for FEDRA people.

That's how it had been for the past month,

And this time,

it went wrong.

The FEDRA people had in fact come, and you hadn't noticed them until they were practically in front of you.

It was a miracle you had gotten out of there alive

as for the other guy, the guy Joel was trading with... well, he hadn't been so lucky.

And so now here you were, sobbing on his - your- bed, because you had made a mess again, and he had to clean it up.

"I'm sorry"

God, did you never get tired of saying that?

"y/n" his deep voice interrupted your sobs

You looked up at him, or at what you could make out of him from the glassy fog your eyes had become.

"It's fine sweetheart" he raised your chin, settling in front of you.

Another tear escaped your eyes, and you sniffled

"but-" you bit your trembling lip "I was stupid- I was- I was inattentive"

"you should be mad" your voice cracked

But you knew he never did, get mad, and if he did, he certainly didn't let you see it.

You had no idea why, or how, all the men in your life before him (which were just two, your father and your ex-boyfriend) would get mad at the littlest thing, from you spilling some water on the precious - worthless-coffee table to you not understanding something as quickly as they wanted you to.

You weren't the smartest of the bunch, never were.

"at least she's pretty"

that's what everyone always said,

at least she's pretty,

at least she's not gonna realize you're insulting her even when you do it right in front of her, she's not gonna be an engineer but at least she's gonna find a man to take care of her.

"men don't like it when women are smarter than them anyway"

Every single phrase, every word was engraved in your brain,

in your tiny little brain, a mantra you repeated over and over, until inevitably, it became the truth.

It still amazed you how diffrent he was though,

You expected it, at this point, to be called stupid and worthless for the tinies mistake, but he had never as much as raised his voice.

He had never called you names,

he had never laughed at you, or made fun of you, or treated you like you were used to, like you were supposed to.

"I'm not mad"

"why?"

"it was a mistake" he shrugged "it happens"

"it happens a lot to me tough"

"well that's fine" his voice was warm "everyone's diffrent"

You still couldn't wrap your head around it "why are you so nice to me?"

He smiled "I like you"

"b-but I'm-" you avoided his glare "I'm-" you didn't even know how to say it,

how to describe how useless you actually were

"Baby it's fine" his thumb stoaked your cheek.

"what about the cargo?" you asked, raising your head again

"We lost it"

"I'm so sorry" another sob "it's my fault"

The room fell silent

"Can I do anything?"

You saw something happen behind his eyes

"really" you urged " Is there anything I can do to make up for it?"

"I can look for other contraband" you suggested even though both of you knew you had no absolute idea where to look for it "I can-" you were already out of ideas "I can cook dinner"

God that was stupid

He smiled and you wanted nothing more than to be invisible.

"Please tell me what I can do" other tears fled your eyes

"Please daddy"

Shit

You instinctively covered your mouth

You didn't mean to, it had just come out.

You were scared to look up at him, to see the amused grin he would have on his face as he made fun of you in his mind,

but as you wiped the tears off your face, glancing up at him, the only thing you did see, were his eyes darker than you'd ever seen them before.

"I'm sorry" you whispered "I didn't mean to-"

"don't apologize"

"b-but-"

"There is something you could do" his thumb was tracing your jawline as your eyes sparked with excitement

"Really?"

His lips twitched into a grin

"What?"

"well" he was looking at you differently than before "you could do me a little favor"

"anything" you immediately answered, making him chuckle.

"it's more of a personal one" he explained, moving some hair out of your face "more... physical"

You frowned, confused, and he took one of your hands to slowly place it on his crotch.

"I've never- I've never done that before"

"I can teach you"

You looked up at him, your big eyes hiding under your lashes.

You really wanted to make up for your mistake.

"ok" you murmured

"good girl" he said, as a strange heat pooled between your legs "undo my belt" he ordered, and you looked at him hesitantly before obliging, your nervous fingers fumbling with the buckle for a moment before you were able to undo it.

You looked up at him for approval and he only nodded, urging you to keep going.

So you did, you undid his zipper and slowly pulled his pants down.

Something hard was straining against his boxers, you could see the tent that had formed.

"Don't be scared sweetheart" he reassured you, and you gulped as you timidly pulled his underwear down.

Oh wow

It was big,

not that you had any means of comparison but it definitely looked big.

He must have noticed your eyes widening because he said "don't worry baby, I'll go slow"

You nodded, hesitantly taking it in your hands

"w-what do I do?" you asked, looking up at him, and you felt his member twitch in your palms.

"oh baby you're so precious" he groaned, and you genuinely didn't know if it was a compliment or not.

"you just have to open your mouth,"

You did it

"just like that baby, perfect" he praised

"and put it in"

You looked at his threatening dick and then at him, fear clear in your iris.

How was all that gonna fit?

"It's gonna fit" he read your mind "don't you trust me?"

You did.

You trusted him more than anyone.

And so you did it, you widened your mouth even more, and took him in, looking at him questioningly once your lips were wrapped on not even half of his shaft.

He groaned nonetheless "that's good baby, you can move now"

You did, you started experimentally bobbing your head up and down, and according to his heavy breathing, you seemed to be doing a fairly good job.

"hollow your cheeks for me baby"

You obeyed and were rewarded with a loud groan

You looked up at him, your eyes evidently asking -is this good?-

“That’s good” he breathed, his hand going to the back of your head “that’s good baby, keep going”

The room filled with a lewd noise as your lips and chin soaked with saliva.

You forced yourself to take more of him in, but your jaw was begging you to stop.

You tried to lean away but his hand didn’t let you.

“Go deeper baby”

You peeked at him worryingly

“You can do it, sweetheart”

“Don’t you wanna make it up to daddy?”

You hummed in agreement around his cock,

of course you did.

"then be good and choke on it"

you could feel your heart beating in your ears, but you ignored it as you did what he said, taking all of him in, until his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag softly.

A tear fled your eye, but this time it wasn't because of an emotion, it wasn't fear or patheticness, no, it was just reflexes, and for once, you liked it.

"that's it" he breathed "that's my good girl" he said, and you found yourself involuntarily rubbing your thighs together, desperate for some friction.

"fuck- that's it baby" he hissed as you kept moving your head, careful of every movement "that's it- keep going"

" 'knew you could take all of me baby" his fingers grazed your chin, as his eyes somehow darkened some more "do you think you could take daddy inside of you?"

His hand left your head and you leaned away

"inside?"

wasn't this already inside?

He seemed pretty inside to you.

"yes baby inside"

he leaned down to get closer to your face.

His fingers found your bare thighs, and danced until they were at the hem of your skirt

"do you think you could take me in your pretty pussy?" he explained better, and your mouth gaped open in surprise,

the real surprise was that your jaw was still able to do that after all that work.

"but-"

"be a good girl for daddy" you felt his digits get under your skirt as he breathed against your mouth "it's just a small favor"

"I've never-"

"I know baby" he pushed you onto the bed "But don't worry, I'll take care of everything" he promised, crawling on top of you "I'll take care of you"

he kissed your neck, a whimper fleeing your mouth "I'll make you feel really good" his quick hands freed you of your shirt and bra before you could even register it, and just after a few moments there went also your skirt and panties.

He hissed as he took you in.

"You've got such a pretty body sweetheart," he said as he kissed it all over "wish I could just stare at it all day" it tickled when he kissed your belly "touch it all day" he murmured against your skin "fuck it all day"

You whimpered as his mouth got inches from when you needed it the most, but he leaned away, taking off his own shirt and stepping out of his pants.

"so pretty" he mumbled as he used your legs to bring you closer to the edge of the bed.

He spit onto your cunt and you hissed, the cold sensation taking you by surprise.

His finger slipped between your folds, coating his digits with your liquids.

He groaned "such a pretty pussy baby"

"here" he drew his finger towards your mouth "taste yourself"

You could feel your cheeks color, but you did it nonetheless, tasting yourself around his finger.

He grinned at the sight "good girl" he hissed as he retracted his finger, and used the hand instead to position his dick at your entrance.

"stay still baby" he grabbed your hip, and you froze.

You could feel his tip graze at your entrance and it both excited you and terrified you.

You shut your eyes, biting your lip, bracing yourself for the inevitable pain.

"no look at me baby" he urged "keep those pretty eyes on me when I'm inside you"

"o-ok" you whispered, and he smiled

"god you're such a good girl" he said, as finally, he pushed himself in, or better, his tip in, and as you felt like a volcano had just erupted inside your body, you winced loudly in pain.

"I know baby" he cooed

no, you don't

You felt a tear travel from the corner of your eyes down to your temple.

He kept going, making you gasp in pain again, your hand gripping the sheets.

"It's-It's too big daddy" you cried out

"no it's not" he didn't give your pleads importance as he kept going, slowly but surely "You can do it, baby"

"I- I can't"

"yes you can" he stated "be a good girl and take it all for daddy"

"b-but it hurts" another tear

"it's gonna feel better after" he promised "trust me"

"daddy" your voice cracked as a sob came through

"come on sweetheart you almost did it"

" 's too much" you cried

"sh- sh- sh" he shushed you wiping some tears off your face " do it for me baby " he said, "you said you wanted to make it up to me"

"I-I do"

"then do" he cocked an eyebrow, and you nodded, sniffling.

"good girl" he praised, as he took your waist and with one harsh move, thrust fully into you.

"see" he admired his cock so deep inside of you "knew you could do it" he smiled at you before retracting his hips, briefly noticing the blood on his dick, and then slamming it back in.

"oh my god" you moaned

"fuck" he grunted " got such a tight pussy baby," he said, developing a rhythm as weak shocks of pain mixed with overwhelming ones of pleasure.

"knew it would be good" he kept talking through labored breaths "just like you sweetheart" he grabbed your hips more harshly as he slammed into you mercilessly now "always so obedient" he purred " so good for me"

"knew you'd take me well"

"knew you'd have such a perfect little pussy"

He bent down and to your surprise, he kissed you, messily and sloppily, but heavenly nonetheless.

"daddy" you whimpered, your back arching against the bed

"It's like it was made for me" he grunted " just designed to have only me in it" he hissed "to be mine"

"is it mine baby?"

"y-yes" you nodded, all the pleasure fogging your brain "it's yours, daddy- all yours"

He kissed you again "and what about you?" he asked, his hips still working like it was his life-long duty to slip you in fucking half "are you mine, sweetheart?"

"yes" you whined

"You're my good girl?" his hand found your clit and you gasped, a breath getting stuck in your throat "you'll do anything I want you to?" he asked, "when I want you to do it?"

"yes daddy-yes"

"that's my girl" he smirked, as you felt a weird pressure form in your stomach.

"so if I tell you that I wanna come inside you're gonna let me right?" he asked breathlessly "because you're my good little girl and I can do anything I want with you?"

"mh-mh" you nodded mindlessly

"that's right baby," he said "I can feel you're coming"

"your pretty walls are squeezing me"

"do you wanna come?"

"yes!" you moaned "yes please daddy "

He crashed his lips with yours "then come all around me sweetheart"

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro Pascal smut #smut #joel miller dumbification #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel the last of us

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maevesdaydreams · 2 months

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Touden party x g/n reader who is a picky eater

(can be interpreted as romantic or platonic)

Liaos:

- Considering the guy’s inability to stop himself from trying anything and everything, Liaos takes your pickiness as a challenge, which is sadly not the best approach.

- He will try and get you to take a bite of everything, even if you previously disliked it, and if you have high food sensitivity, you might butt heads.

- If you yell at Liaos, he will not fight you, and will back down. Doesn’t mean he will stop, but he wouldn’t want to upset you. Same for if you cry, though I think the rest of the party would bully him into stopping, especially Marcille.

-Eventually he will understand, and though he will still try and get you to try everything, he is less persistent, and instead tries to focus on the things you do like, trying to sneak in other foods into your safe foods, much to your dismay at times.

“You’re sure you don’t want any?” Liaos asked you, for the fourth time this meal, “It’s so good.” He tried to coax you into it, but you shook your head. Just looking at it made your stomach turn. “Suit yourself. More for the rest of us.” He said, continuing on eating happily. His eyes lock back on you though, as his sister offers you some of her's. “I mean- of course, if you’d like some of mine…?” Liaos corrected himself, offering his plate to you so could pick off some food.

- He’s trying his best ok?

Marcille:

- Marcille wouldn’t call herself a picky eater, but she understands how you are feeling considering the whole eating monsters thing.

- If you are open with her about it, Marcille would be the first to stand up to anyone who tries to make you eat something, and will give you things off of her plate that you do like.

- Unlike Loas, she understands not wanting to eat everything under the sun (or under the dungeon in this case) and will not fight you on any of it.

- One time Marcille even went out of her way to collect some plants from the dungeon that she saw, cause she knew you liked them, and asked Senshi to cook it for her when you were upset.

- Marcille wishes that the party would eat more normal foods, but even the normal meals that they have had weren’t to your tastes. She writes down what you do like so that she can buy it for you as soon as possible, even going as far to try and trade with other adventures for it.

“I got you a little something.” Marcille said, coming up behind you. You jumped, not hearing your party member’s footsteps behind you. You turn around, and Marcille hands you a small bag of your favourite veggies, ones that you can eat as a snack raw. She is more than overjoyed when you smile. “Where did you get these?” You gush, placing them with your items to have later, and going to hug Marcille happily. “It was nothing, just got them off of a passing adventurer.” You hugged her tighter at that, always appreciating the thought she put in for you.

Senshi:

- “You're a picky eater??” Is the first thing Senshi asked as he tried to serve you a food you didn’t like. He thought that picky eaters were just a term for children, and was confused at first, but ended up being very supportive!

- Senshi would never waste good food, and will pack up left overs, or eat the extras off your plate for the items you don’t like. If the party ends up picking up something you don’t like, that’s tough luck. He would never make you eat it, but will insist that you eat something.

- As your bond with the party grows, Senshi will try his best to make sure there is at least something on your plate you will eat, not that it is always an option in the dungeon, but he tries his best.

- “Ya don’t have to eat it if you don’t wanna.” Senshi will assure you, but he always adds them to your plate, making sure it doesn’t touch your other food. This method actually helps you sometimes, and you come around to a few ingredients you wouldn’t have tried otherwise.

“Tonight’s dinner might not be to your likin’.” Senshi warned, as you walked over to where he was preparing the meal. You spotted the main protein for the meal, and he was right, pulling a face at the raw meat you so despised. Senshi noticed your stuck out tongue, chuckling gruffly, “Ya don’t have to eat it, I made extra greens for the party.” He gestured to the pile of uncooked greens that would be stir-fried. “I think I’ll give it a try anyways.” You said, thinking yourself very brave but regretting it afterwards. “I mean- maybe.” You backpedalled at his excited look, suddenly not feeling too confident about it. “Don’t stress too much about it. I’ll be glad either way.” He said, continuing to prep, enlisting your help and enjoying your presence as he cooks.

Chilchuck:

- Dad energy.

- Chilchuck wouldn’t give two minds to you refusing to eat some foods at first, I don’t even think he noticed at first. When he did… well, you weren’t his kid, and he didn’t need to worry himself about what you were eating.

- Overtime and as he got to know you better, he became more aware of it, and more aware on how it would affect you after meals. “You aren’t at full energy when you don’t eat.” He would say offhandedly, you were more sluggish after this past fight, likely because you refused to eat most of the meal.

- Chilchuck would start bargaining with you like you were a kid, saying you had to eat a certain amount of bites before you could go, much to the chagrin of the rest of the party. No matter how much you fretted about the onions in the meal, you’d eat the required amount of bites.

“You know, that wouldn’t have happened if you had eaten lunch.” Chilchuck berated, hiding his genuine worry behind a thin veil of frustration. “Could've gotten us all killed!” You sighed, you knew he was right, but just couldn’t get yourself to eat today's lunch. The thought of putting that food in your mouth made you want to vomit even now, “‘M sorry.” You moped, and Chilchuck eased up a bit. “It’s fine, just- take care of yourself better.” He said, his hands behind his head as he walked, “For the party- of course.”

Falin:

- “You don’t like that? Here I’ll take it.” Falin doesn’t mind taking the food you don’t want, and will divvy it up to other party members (her brother) who wants it (she always gives it to her brother). She isn’t a picky eater so she doesn’t really understand but she is very empathetic to your struggles.

- LIke most of the party, she just wants you to be healthy and at full power, so she will definitely notice if you don’t eat your full helping, and will keep an eye on you. She doesn’t really say much about it, but makes sure to give you extra protection or energy through spells or otherwise.

- She might even put aside some of her own food that she knows you like, giving it to you later and saying she just wasn’t hungry. It makes her happy to do this for you, smiling to herself as you eat it.

“I’m not excited for dinner tonight.” You groan, you and Falin at the back of the group, you had skimped out on lunch too, and were sluggish because of it. “It’ll be alright. I’m sure Senshi will make sure it tastes good.” Falin tried to ease your worry, though it wasn’t much help. “I’ll steal some of Laos’s food too, if it’ll be helpful.” She giggled. You laughed along with her, and she took your hand, pulling you two to bring you back up to speed with the rest of the party. Dinner ended up not being so bad when you got to watch Falin try to sneak food off of her brother’s plate for you.

requests are open! please feel free to req anything dungeon meshi related (I am still only 1/2 through the netflix season 1 so like no spoilers lol) also feel free to send any criticisms on their characterisation, i feel like they are so OOC U_U (hopefully this isn't mega mega bad)

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #liaos touden #liaos touden x reader #marcille #marcille x reader #senshi #senshi x reader #chilchuck #chilchuck x reader #falin touden #falin x reader

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tongue-like-a-razor · 2 years

Note

hangman request incoming ‼️‼️

so the reader is best friends w rooster and whenever she’s around hangman he’s always quite rude to her, only bc he’s harbouring huge feelings for her which he isn’t very used to. then maybe he goes too far and rooster needs to talk some sense into him (reader could be a pilot or just a close friend of rooster’s)

SORRY i’m not great and giving requests but i hope there’s something in there that you like !

Ahhhh I LOVE this request!! And I really loved writing this piece, which may or may not turn into a series.. oops I couldn't resist haha

Less Talk | Part I

Jake Seresin x F!Reader

Summary: Jake can't stand Bradley's best friend. What's more, he's probably in love with her, which really pisses him off.

CW: mild angst, Hangman being a dick aka Hangman being himself, unresolved sexual tension, swearing, drinking

Masterlist

“Do you ever not have an opinion?” Jake watches you irritably before taking a long swig of his drink. He needs the alcohol to calm his nerves so that he doesn’t inadvertently push you off your chair.

You glare at him. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? A nice, safe space for Seresin to dominate the conversation without opposition.”

Jake lets out a steady breath. No one riles him quite like you do. “We’re talking about food, Y/N. It doesn’t exactly have global ramifications.”

“Actually, it does,” you respond matter-of-factly. “And are you saying I shouldn’t have an opinion unless it is ground-breaking in nature? Maybe I should just sit here quietly and look pretty.”

“Ha!” Jake cackles. “I would love to see you try.”

“Hangman!” Bradley, who’s sitting to your right, gives him a disapproving look.

You make a grimace. “I will never give you that kind of satisfaction.”

Jake meets your gaze with a hostile look. The thought of you satisfying him in any way sort of disorients him. He makes a face at you because he can’t deny that if you were to just sit there in silence, you would be exceptionally pleasant to look at. Pretty, even… maybe. Instead, he says, “How the fuck does eating avocado toast for lunch have global implications? I would love to know.”

“The recent surge in consumption of avocados - thanks to health nuts such as yourself - has led to an unprecedented increase in price to the point where those people whose culinary staple for generations has been the avocado cannot afford to keep it their diet.” You fold your arms over your chest to drive your point home while Jake just stares at you, speechless. No other woman in the world has ever rendered him that. He glances over at Bradley who is looking back at him with a slight grin. Just when Jake thinks you might be all talked out, you add, “And don’t even get me started on the environmental burden of growing enough avocados to sustain the whole of North America’s health culture.”

Jake blinks at you. “Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“The avocado trade is contributing to local violence and extortion” – you continue, but Jake cuts you off.

“Okay, okay!” he says. “I’ll never eat an avocado again.”

“Just quit spreading your avocado propaganda!”

“It’s not propaganda! They’re actually good for you!”

“How wonderful it must be living in a world where your needs come before everybody else’s,” you say bitterly.

“Can we please talk about something other than avocados?” he says tiredly, his eyes sliding to Bradley in a plea for assistance.

“If you’re looking for a topic on which I do not have an opinion” – you say, but Jake interrupts you again.

“Does such a topic exist?” he asks flatly.

You roll your eyes at him. “Did you ever think that maybe you’re the one who should talk less?”

Jake nods. “Certainly. I should talk less to you. Because you’re driving me crazy, lady.” He stands up after having downed the rest of his drink. “I’m getting another beer and, when I return, I’m going to have a conversation with my good friend here, Rooster.”

Bradley shakes his head and looks over at you. “Don’t mind him, he’s just a bitter, bitter man.”

“A bitter man who needs to be schooled on occasion,” you mutter.

Jake turns to look at you with wide eyes. He slides back into his seat. “I heard that,” he says dangerously, inclining into the table.

“Good,” you respond, leaning forward so that your noses are nearly touching. “You were meant to.”

“You are so fucking annoying,” he whispers, his eyes slipping momentarily to your mouth as you lick your lips.

“Hangman, come on, don’t be a dick,” Bradley says, also putting his weight into the table in an attempt to intervene.

Jake’s eyes are still scanning your face as you glare at him without moving away. The truth is, he could probably listen to you talk about the problematic export of Mexican avocados for hours just to watch your mouth move and to hear the passion in your voice. But he’s tired of the tunnel vision he experiences every time your boyfriend ditches you and you end up going out with your best friend, Bradley Bradshaw. This is the fifth time this month that you’ve accompanied Rooster to ‘guys’ night out’ and it’s becoming more and more difficult for Jake to shake you after each successive evening of relentless verbal sparring.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jake can see Bradley slowly inching off the table, having realized that he may be a third wheel. But Jake doesn’t need him to be some sort of wingman in this bizarre scenario where he may or may not be completely in love with an unavailable woman who happens to be an expert at pushing all his goddamn buttons. Normally, he would remedy this kind of matter with a good old romp in the hay but, considering the fact that you are in a relationship, this option is, unfortunately, off the table. Besides, he’s not entirely sure it wouldn’t have the opposite effect on him, anyway.

But, despite all the reasons for avoiding your pull, Jake can’t look away, not even for a second; not even to get another beer. He moves his face a millimeter closer to yours, just to see what would happen; not because your breath smells like Peach Schnapps and not because your eyes are absolutely destabilizing him. His nose is about a split second away from brushing yours when your phone buzzes on the table. You flinch, withdrawing immediately, leaving Jake to watch you try to frantically pick it up. You shoot him one last intimidating look before rising from the table.

“Hey, babe,” he hears you say as you walk away.

“What’s your deal, man?” Bradley says as Jake watches you step outside.

Jake shakes his head solemnly. “Doesn’t she have other friends to play with?” he asks. “Why’re you always babysitting her?”

Bradley fixes Jake with a knowing look. “Hangman,” he says with a suggestive squint to his eye. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Jake stares at Bradley. “Yeah,” he says. “I want to tell you that your bestie is a pain in the ass, Rooster.”

Bradley’s jaw hardens. “You’re way out of line.”

“Come on, I can’t be the only one who finds her absolutely infuriating. The girl never shuts up!”

Bradley narrows his eyes. “And you don’t, at all, find that sort of thing attractive?” he says sarcastically.

“Attractive? I find it immensely aggravating, actually.”

“So aggravating that you argue right back every time,” Bradley points out with a smirk. “Movies, books, social constructs. Last week, I heard you guys bickering about space waste. What do you even know about space?”

“What does she know about space?” Jake responds angrily, pointing toward the door with his entire arm.

Bradley leans back in his seat with a sigh. “I know that you don’t actually hate her, Jake,” he says. “You can stop pretending.”

“Who’s pretending?” Jake looks up at him aggressively.

Bradley purses his lips. “What if I told you that her boyfriend is a shithead?”

Jake’s jaw tightens but he continues to stare at Bradley coldly. “Why the fuck would I care?” he says.

Bradley returns his callous expression before looking away. “Been trying to get her out of that relationship for months.”

Jake lets out a sigh. “She’s a grown-ass woman, she can decide for herself if she wants to end it.”

Bradley nods. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Jake rises from his seat, his eyes unintentionally drifting up to check if you’re still outside. He sees you pacing back and forth through the big window of the bar. You look like you’re arguing. Big surprise. “Want another beer?” he asks Bradley.

“Please,” Bradley says.

Jake nods at the cocktail you’ve been drinking. “She going to have another one?”

Bradley shrugs. “Probably, unless you’ve pissed her off enough that she decides to leave early.”

Jake scoffs. “She’d be doing me a favor.”

Bradley shakes his head with a laugh. “I don’t even know what she’s drinking, man.”

Jake shifts his jaw. “I do.”

Bradley gives him another piercing look. “Shocking,” he says with a smirk.

“Shut the fuck up, Bradshaw,” Jake says under his breath as he walks away. He glances back at the window behind which you’re now waving your arm around aggressively and yelling into the phone. He tears his gaze away from you, frustrated with himself for even giving a damn.

For some reason, he feels a painful pang in his chest, like he’s jealous of whomever it is you’re tearing into. You’ve never gone off on him quite like that and he can’t help the resentment this fosters. He tries to suppress the impulse to go out after you and rip your stupid phone right out of your hand. That would surely reclaim at least a fraction of your attention. Then maybe he could do something unexpected; something that might persuade you to channel your passion in a more constructive way.

He orders three drinks and walks back to the table with the beers before going back for your cocktail. When he returns, he exhales sharply, giving Bradley a humorless look. “Why’s her boyfriend a shithead?” he says, feeling his hands forming into fists before Bradley even has a chance to respond.

But, right when Bradley’s about to speak, you walk back into the bar.

Read Part 2

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this piece! It's my first Hangman story, so let me know what you think!

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crguang · 3 months

Note

sfw headcanons about what it would be like to live with acheron? :3

ACHERON MY BABY.

living with her would be actual bliss, she’d want to keep the bad stuff as far away from you as possible and would protect this little haven you’ve made for yourselves with her life. her strength is destructive but you can only see it as comforting, it reassures you when you’re worried or scared because you know she’ll only ever use it to protect you.

acheron is used to the quiet, she might be too comfortable with it, so she can spend a long time without speaking. she’ll hum and nod along with your mundane chatting. she can also be a yapper too sometimes, even though her voice is always low and soft; she’ll talk your ear off when it comes to philosophical conversations it’s so endearing. her insight is always relevant.

an act of service girlie to me HANDS DOWN. she does little things for you around the house (definitely one of those women who’ll build a porch if you so much as mention that you want one), you barely register them anymore because of how deeply embedded in your routine they are. if you’re smaller, she’ll breeze past you in the morning and reach for the coffee over the fridge before you lift a finger. she sleeps very little and wakes up before you, so she opens the curtains in the bedroom because she knows you like the morning light. it’s a wonder how she remembers so much of the small stuff. you ask her about it once and she says it’s like muscle memory.

your home is somewhat colorful, to make up for the ones she lacks. it’s in mirror frames and figurines, in pictures pinned to the walls and fridge magnets. it makes her feel like she’s part of this vibrant world you live in and adds to that warm sensation she can still sense despite being almost entirely tainted by nihility.

acheron can be a clingy baby, i think. she’ll wrap her arms around your waist as you stand over the stove, her forehead resting against the back of your neck. she comes home and immediately looks for you cause she wants a hug. she’s soo touchy, but when youre home it’s not just a hand on your back or her fingertips grazing your thigh, she’ll wrap herself around you whenever she can. holding you, having you so close, it feels like your warmth seeps into her and she becomes less “emanator of nihility” and more “acheron”, whatever that means.

lost puppy. she knows the way home, of course, but you get text messages that are variations of “where was that again?” “i don’t know where i am” “which aisle? oh. im in the wrong store” SO OFTEN. she’s the embodiment of oblivion and she manages to be this precious, i’ll never understand it

don’t let her near the stove. she can barely taste anything just trust me and ban her from the kitchen, it’s for your own safety

living with you is so… normal. it’s something she can’t remember ever experiencing and it feels almost eerie at times, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. she holds the world on her shoulders and you’re the only one who can make it feel light.

#sat’s follower event #acheron x reader

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factual-fantasy · 2 months

Text

31 asks! Thank you! :}} ☯️

Now I'm gonna be totally honest, I DO have a favorite twin and its Ingo <XDD But I also fully understand and support your point!

What makes Ingo and Emmet so fun and interesting to me is their bond! How they mirror each other, how they interact, their strength as a team! Sure separating them for the angst is great an all- but truly showing them together and more importantly as equals is where the good stuffs at!

This is also why I usually try to wrap up their separation arcs in my AUs, and also don't really enjoy reading any Legends Arceus content.. seeing Ingo alone is not only heartbreaking,, but its also just not as fin. Ingo and Emmet are stronger together :)

@sallychaosaura (In response to this post)

Miiiight be a bit too late for that <XDD

@orangesideirrational

Thank you! :D I'm glad :))

Sorry, no can do! <:( Also thank you! :))

(Post in question)

(It was very intentional! :}) He's stressed. 😔

Ugh.. well, thanks for letting me know.. and at least the commenters know I don't consent to reposts..

😔

@thatweirdocryptid

TORPEDO??

@soulful-rodent (Post in question)

Well in-game we was traded to a friend and back so he'd evolve..

Buuuut lore wise, without a trainer..? <:D No idea-

Probably somewhere around 100 <XD

@xtra-collab

Absolutely terrifying! Next question XD

@lost-brain-privileges

No, no, aaaaand poorly, XD I'm doing fiiiiine won't worry! :)

@beeboboingo

AAATHANK YTOU SOMNUCH!!!! :DDDDDDD

I can imagine when he first gained the ability to hide in peoples shadows, he probably gave many people quite a scare without meaning to <XDDD

@cat7890

Thank you! :DD And Their stories are kind'a vague when I take out my trainer..

I'm thinking that somehow, Midori met Gloria in their first evolutions and became friends. Then they found Grim..

later on Midori found Anastasia after she had run away from a battle. She tried to hide but her shiny gold color made that impossible.. Midori took her to Gloria and they took care of her.

Afterwards they met Sylvester..

Beyond that, I don't have any details in mind.. 😅 Sorry!

Typically I prefer horror games/movies, but ONLY when they're being played by or watched by someone else in a YouTube video XDD

Some of those YouTubers being Elvis The Alien and Markiplier! :}}}

@fragmented-ghost (Pokémon Violet team master post)

AAAA I'm so glad you like them! :DD I plan to draw them more at some point, but atm I kind'a got sucked back into the Violet grind XDD I'm just about to beat the main game! :0000

@justanintrovertedweirdo

I have! :DD I like it quite a lot an have drawn some things for it here and there! Though I never got around to completing the game..

Someday I'd like to go back and beat the game. I can imagine I'd jump right into the fandom afterwards if I did XDD

XD Probably!

I don't remember talking about that.. if you had a link to the original post maybe I could remember with context..? <:0

@tallchest13-blog (Post in question)

XDDD I'm glad you like them! :))

XDD All of those titles made me laugh! And I see your point, but I have a few counter points to this ask..

For 1, to keep with the theme, I would want to/have to make this cape IRL in order to add it to my sona. Now if the last 4 quilts have shown me anything? Its that I'm not super great at making quilts <XDD

If it was that challenging to make it on a smaller scale? I cant imagine how much trouble I'd have trying to make a full size one! <XDD Plus buying the materials... having to physically get up, go buy the stuff I need and make it. With these health issues I've been battling, that's not something I wanna do atm.. 😅Not to mention with how hot its been lately, I don't think I need a quilt anyways-

And then lastly- I'd have to draw myself with it every time! I like my sona being a simplistic blob that has minimal colors and not much of a model to keep too. I worry a quilt might take that away.. :(((

XDD I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees the potential! :))

I have a few times here an there. Just to hang out with some friends :)

I mean, I don't know the history between you two... But my advice is to leave them be. If they ghosted you, they probably want space..

@iloveseriess

I altered the story of Welcome Home to make my version of Sally a teenager. So I was thinking she could be bluish-white to look like a young star..? But looking back I don't like the blue.. For story purposes she might stay a teen, but I think I'll keep her yellow <XDD

@anikakitty11

Yoo! :DD She's so colorful! And that black shadowy arm is so spooky.. Does she have a story? 👀👀

(Pixel art tutorial in question)

I'm glad it helped! Happy pixeling!! :}} 👋👋

@minnesotamedic186

XD Don't worry its fiiiiiine!

I've wanted to draw evil Grim and Sylvester again in general, but I don't really have any ideas for them yet.. 😅

#my response #pokemon legends arceus #ingo and emmet #submas #gengar #pokemon scarlet and violet #welcome home

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vinomino · 2 months

Text

Be Vulnerable Part 1 - Two Sides Of A Coin Make It Whole

Contents: nsfw mdni 18+, arranged marriage au, samurai au, heavy angst, miscommunication, mention of dv(not with reader), mention of abuse, mention of assault, violence, murder, dubcon(aphrodisiacs), vaginal fingering

WC: 10.5k

“Say, what would you want your husband to be like?” Your elder sister, Tsuya, often spoke of the topic, sitting next to you in the garden talking your ear off about her dream future husband. That he had to be handsome, taller, and the deal-breaker; to treat you, her only little sister, with kindness.

Thumbing at the leaf of a pink lily, “I don’t really care.”

You haven’t given it much, women aren’t given a say in their marriage, or their lives. Do what they tell you to do, speak how they tell you to speak, say what they tell you to say. Your worth as a human is decided by how you present yourself. What good is it to fantasize about a man that doesn’t exist?

“Eh? You should care…this is a man you will spend the rest of your life with.” She ungraciously blows raspberries. You respect Tsuya, she’s smart and calm but is an utter fool in the world of love. Wind breezes through the garden as you continue to watch the ants crawl along the rocks until the maids summon you back inside.

Tsuya was often scolded on your behalf, always taking the blame for accidents you made. “It’s alright, I want you to depend on your older sister.” Patting your head after leaving your mother's chamber, you could faintly hear your mother ranting about another one of her favorite vases being destroyed. A vase you bumped into, causing it to fall over its stand. “Do I need a reason to love my sister?”

Mother never paid much attention to you, primarily due to the fact she isn’t your biological mom. You were an illegitimate child, your real mother was your father’s first love. She was a servant to your family, the daughter of your grandfather’s best friend, they had grown up together, but due to her status, were not permitted to marry. He kept her around even after marrying Mother, she didn’t lash out at her husband for keeping a mistress around, in fact, she said that she was grateful he didn’t seek her out every night, and it wouldn’t be a problem as long as there wasn’t a child.

She passed away shortly after giving birth to you. While it did tick Mother off when Father said he would add you under the family register, she eventually let it go. You weren’t the firstborn son or daughter. Akihiro was the heir and eldest, Tsuya was the second, and Akiro, your little brother was the spare. As the third child, your duties were lessened. Akihiro would succeed Father and run the household. Tsuya’s duty was to marry into a clan that would benefit the house. While that was also enforced onto you, you had the option of marrying any man as long as he wasn’t beneath you in status. You were just an addition, your existence didn’t play a huge role.

Your family wasn’t a battle clan, but rather a trading one. The Hatano clan. The lead family under the Hata clan umbrella. Your father was a wealthy aristocrat, while lacking power and might, he made up for it in merchandising. Your family was in possession of fertile land, having an abundance of crops which put him at the top of the agriculture circle. It fostered trading and strong ties to bigger clans, most notably, your family’s precious sake*. Known famously far and wide for being the best, the rice wine being traded off for the promise of protection.

Tsuya and you were close, your parents didn’t spend that much time with you and your elder brother was busy with duties to prepare him for being heir, duties ranging from sword fighting to study lessons, and you rarely got to see him because of it. Tsuya was the only family member you spent the days with, she didn’t discriminate against you for being a half-sibling, in fact, she loved you unconditionally. Akihiro didn’t disrespect you, he mostly ignored you, much like Mother. Akiro was born in the winter of your 14th year, he didn’t feel much like a younger brother, but more like a nephew due to the age gap.

Riko, your exclusive maid is combing your hair, getting you ready for bed. “Miss, your hair is always so soft and gorgeous! Oh, should I shut the window? It is quite cold tonight…” She patiently awaits your answer. “Alright, thank you.” You send her a soft smile through the mirror. Riko was born the same year as you, a child of a man serving your father. Riko was much more confident and courageous than you expected. Despite how the other maids who have worked in the family longer act, she doesn’t shy away at all. She puts your mind at ease. You stand up, going to head for the bed, catching sight of the katana, resting upon the decorative table.

On your tenth birthday, Father seated you on his lap and asked what you wanted.

“I want a sword!” You beam at him.

“What will you do with a sword?” He raises his brows, confused as to why his ten-year-old daughter asked for a katana, but still decides to humor you. It was undeniable you were Father’s favorite child, most likely because you inherited your mother’s beauty, resembling his first love.

“I want to put it on display in my room.” A childish answer from a child. He stares into your sparkling eyes, eyes the same as his lover. “I shall commission one to be made.” He let you get away with stuff your siblings wouldn’t. Your father’s right-hand man suggests to him some notable blacksmiths. They nod along at your excitement, saying what color it should be, what it should look like, and rambling on naming it as well.

When Riko leaves, you shimmy out of bed, stepping towards the table. Picking up the sword from the koshirae*, you unsheath it from the red saya*, and a yellow sageo* cord is wrapped around it. Gripping the black handle holding the silver blade out towards the window, the moonlight flows over it. Father calls a bladesmith every season to do upkeep on the katana. The sword must’ve cost a fortune to make, the steel and forgery were better than some of the katanas the swordsmen serving the family had. It was slightly smaller than the average katana though, you remember when Akihiro let you hold his sword, his was much heavier.

Your father revealed it to you and you stared in awe. The servants murmured in shock at their Lord presented his youngest child, a girl, with her very own sword. Mother bit her tongue during it. Once, she learned you had played in the kitchen, spilling flour all over the floor, so she had you whipped and locked in a room. Calling you an impudent low-born disgrace and declaring you were to only have water for a week. When Father heard word of it, he immediately came to your rescue and called the family physician to tend to your wounds. You didn’t see Mother for a while after that, but you caught sight of her leaving the garden, a veil over her head, and you could faintly see a dark bruise on her cheek. After that incident, the servants began to tip-toe around you. She didn’t raise a hand against you again and no one dared call you names.

Remembering the training hall, how the men swing their swords you try to replicate it. Running a hand through your hair, you tighten your grip around the handle. Still, you couldn’t move the same way a samurai does. The reason you asked for a sword back then was because of Momotarō*, a Japanese folklore your nanny would often recite to you. You would parade around the house, pestering your sister and the servants to help you slay the demons. Thinking back, it was quite embarrassing. But the sword was too heavy for you, even swinging it for more than half an hour would tire you out. The first time you dabbled with it, you fell bedridden.

Only noble and aristocratic women were permitted to learn how to read and write. Reading was the only way to relieve you of your boredom, you didn’t have lessons with tutors and did not attend social events like Tsuya.

Picking out some books from the library, Riko and a footman helped carry them back to your chambers, setting the stack down on your desk. You usually would’ve read in the garden, but it was drizzling out.

“Shall I bring you some tea and snacks Miss?” Riko asks, ushering the footman out.

“No. It’s fine, I’d like to be alone for now.” You answer, opening a book. She bows and shuts the door behind her. Struggling to focus on reading, you sigh and shut the book closed. Leaning back into your chair you turn your head to look at the mountain of letters.

You could be called a quiet child who neither stood out nor would disappear into the background. You never had an interest in going to parties, but Tsuya nagged you enough that day. You received countless marriage proposals and rejected every single one to Mother’s exasperation, she says your pretty face will soon slip away if you don’t take advantage of it. But she knew that there would be many more, agreeing with you to wait for one to stand above the rest. “Mother, I’m sure you can sell me off for something more.” Which is why you had reached adulthood, a marriageable age, but yet to be engaged.

Marriage; you could marry a male from within the Hata clan, but there weren’t many who were around your age. You’d plunge a sword into your stomach before marrying someone twice your age or one of those creeps who keep bothering you.

Tsuya was promised to Miyoshi Akihito of the Roppo-Ichiza clan. He was three years older than her. They were called love birds by maids who often gushed at the sight of them. It was a dream come true for her to marry not only out of convenience but also love. At first, you thought Miyoshi was simply faking a persona until you saw he was actually sincere. Maybe your sister was pitied for being a hopeless romantic that the deities made her wish come true. Thinking made you tired, bookmarking the page, you headed to your bedroom, sliding under the blanket and closing your eyes.

A large commotion is coming from the hallway, causing you to awaken from your slumber. Opening the door you see servants rushing around frantically, out of the corner of your eye you spot Tsuya coming down the hall, “Sister…what’s going on…?”

She has a grim expression, pushing you back into your room, sending a glance at Riko who bows her head and leaves. The rain poured down, a crack of thunder. Tsuya grips your shoulders tightly and finally speaks up, “Brother Akihiro died in an ambush.” Hearing the news of your elder brother’s death you slap a hand over your mouth. You can feel her muscles tense as she thinks about what is going to happen now that the heir of the house is gone. The two of you go to find Mother, she's standing in the engawa, sobbing into her hands. You help her back into the house, as she weeps for your brother. The rest of the night is a blur, everyone gets sent back to their quarters for the night, aside from Father and his men who hold an emergency meeting. Tsuya accompanies you for the night, scared of what's to come. “Big sister…” You murmur lying next to her, she shushes you. The sleepless night passes and everyone gets summoned into the meeting hall early in the morning.

Placing next to Tsuya, you notice only the immediate family is present. Mother holds a solemn expression next to Father. The door slides open and your little brother steps in, Mother ushers him to sit next to her, embracing him in her arms. Father clears his voice.

“Last night, Akihiro passed away.” He lets out a long sigh.

“First, Akiro is to be named the new successor and will proceed with the training. Second, Tsuya you will cancel your engagement with Miyoshi Akihito of the Roppo-Ichiza clan and marry into the Bofurin clan. Not only did we lose your brother, but many of our best men as well. Finally, the wake will be held this evening, so be prepared.” With that, you're standing with your sister in the hall. Tsuya buries her face into your neck as she sobs. You try to comfort her, rubbing at her back.

The loss of your elder brother and many of the swordsmen leaves the house unprotected, trade routes would be vulnerable, and there’s also the risk of plundering by bandits. While Roppo-Ichiza is strong, it pales in comparison to Bofurin, known for its strength, one of the most powerful clans by its might and size. A marriage connecting your family to Bofurin would be extremely beneficial. Tsuya knows this herself, which is why she did not raise any words against the decision.

Then came the funeral, full of tension and tears. Standing next to Mother as she squeezed the chopsticks in her hands, it was time for the kotsuage*. She stares lifelessly at the ashes and bones of her first child. No one spoke as each picked out bone fragments. Riko wraps your haori around you as you head back to the family home. You were resting your head on her shoulder as the carriage took you away from the cemetery.

Staying in your chambers as the week passes, you learn from a servant that the man Tsuya is to be betrothed to was named Lord General Kaji Ren, second in command of the Vaisravana unit, serving under Lord General Militant Hiragi Toma, who was one of the four kings of Bofurin, second to its Lord Commander, Umemiya Hajime.

Riko stands by as you read a book while sipping on tea, the calm atmosphere makes you feel ignorant. The only orders you had were to stay in your quarters, placing the book down, “Riko, will you follow me wherever I go?” Resting against your hand as you stare out the window. “Miss, I will follow you wherever you go, I promised, didn't I?” Her voice is calm, portraying her sincerity. A sigh escapes your lips as you prepare yourself for your plan.

Seeking out father, you seek out his office. The footman by the door notices you approaching, straightening himself up. “Miss, is there anything you need?”

“I want to request an audience with my father, it’s important.”

He nods and enters the office, a minute passes before he opens the doors for you, nodding his head again. You can feel his gaze linger on you as you inhale deeply and step in, making your way to your father. Tsuya was also there, she looked surprised seeing you.

“Father, let me marry in Tsuya’s place.” Pressing your shoulders back and raising your head to meet his eyes.

“What are you saying?” Tsuya whispers over in a hushed tone.

He sets his cup down, brows furrowed, “No.”

“There should be no problem with me being the one to marry, then please allow her to proceed with her marriage to Miyoshi. I will marry Lord Kaji Ren.” Placing a hand over your chest.

He glances over at Tsuya and then back at you. “I won’t allow it.”

“Father, Tsuya is also your child.” Father should’ve married you off instead– but he didn’t want to lose you. You know him well.

He doesn’t want to lose you like he lost his first love. “I’m not sending you away–”

“Father, I care about Tsuya’s happiness. For once– please see me as my own person.” You plead.

Father grits his teeth, “Leave, both of you.”

Tsuya grabs you outside the office, pulling you into a secluded area, “Why–”

“Sister is always kind to me, so… I want to be the one to help her when she needs it the most. Marry Miyoshi, be happy together.” You hold her shoulder.

“What about…you?”

Offering her a soft smile, “Write to me often, alright?”

Tears well up in her eyes as she embraces you, “Since when did you grow up? Hah…Making me feel like the younger one.” She pinches your cheek like she always did when you were kids.

Lord General Kaji Ren, was also referred to as a beast on the battlefield. Riko managed to gather some information; he was taller than you, had platinum hair and dark gray eyes, and was allegedly “good-looking”. With this little to go by, you couldn’t picture what he looked like, staring at Riko’s squiggly drawing of who she says is a portrait of your husband-to-be. You know Father reluctantly agreed since he didn’t come to see you.

The wedding date was set and preparations were beginning. The number of servants who were around you now felt draining, the seamstresses spent hours taking your measurements. slouching back into the chair and rubbing at your temple, “Riko, are weddings this much of a headache?” Taking another bite of a biscuit.

“Miss! A wedding only happens once in a lifetime. Also, the youngest daughter of the Hatano family marrying a Lord General of the Bofurin clan is a big deal! Miss, you shouldn’t eat so much…your wedding is tomorrow and the Head Lady looked quite…mad at dinner.”

For once she paid attention to you. Was something like this considered a big deal?

The day of the wedding arrived, waking up at dusk to get ready for it. The servants bathing you and dressing you. You should feel nervous, but instead, you feel a strange sense of peace, being able to protect your sister’s happiness. The white shiromuku* is neatly laid on top of your body. Flowers and birds are hand painted on the silk fabric, showcasing the meticulous attention to detail. A white wedding kimono symbolizes pureness and cleanness; to take on the other color of the groom and accept the values and ideas of the groom’s clan. Riko meticulously does your hair-do, wrapping it around and pinning it up. The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Tsuya steps in, her eyes wavering at you. “Here I thought I would be marrying first…my baby sister is all grown up now.”

“Oh, both of you are here.” You look at your mother, carrying a small wooden box. For the first time in a while, she smiles. “It seems I am losing another child again.” She sighs, her frail cold hands push your hair out of your forehead and caress your cheek.

“Mother…don’t miss me too much.” Earning a soft laugh from her. She opens the box, “This was the hairpin I wore when I married your father. I want you to have it. Serve your husband well.” Gently handling the silver ornament, sliding it into your hair. Mother then turned on her heel and left with her servants, leaving the three of you.

“It suits you. Let me do your makeup, one last favor from your big sister.” Tsuya pats your head carefully to not move it out of place.

She skillfully applies the blush and lipstick, leaning back to admire her work, “I’d say you don’t need anything more. You are always stunning.”

“I agree Miss, I fell for your looks the moment I saw you!” Riko chimes in.

Again, a knock at the door. This time it’s Miyoshi, “Riko, can you leave us for a bit.” She bows her head and steps out of the room.

“Miyoshi? What–” Tsuya is cut off when he kneels on the floor. “I wanted to sincerely thank you, for everything, I promise to take care of Tsuya for the rest of my life.” Miyoshi bows his head.

Tsuya’s breath hitches for a moment before joining Miyoshi, next to him. “No, please– raise your heads.” You bend down and pull them up, “As long as you two are happy, that’s enough repayment I need.” Tsuya burst out into tears, refraining from touching you, to not stain your kimono. “I swear it on my life” Miyoshi states, taking Tsuya out with him to calm her down.

You're left alone, sitting in front of the mirror. The woman looking back at you is unfamiliar, is she really you? It felt surreal, only yesterday you were tottering after Tsuya, and now you were getting married off before her.

The wedding ceremony was to take place in Bofurin’s ceremonial hall, the ride there was a lengthy one. Peering over your shoulder, taking one last look at the place you were born and grew up in, before stepping into the carriage. Fiddling with the fan the whole way, Tsuya’s and Miyoshi’s children will grow up in a family full of warmth, that alone sets a smile on you.

“Miss, we’ve entered the Bofurin territory.” A male voice informs you.

Daughters live their whole lives for this. This is the last thing you can do for your family.

In a separate room, Tsuya places the wataboshi* over my head. The pristine white hood to be worn before and during the ceremony is the equivalent of a wedding veil.

SANSHIN-NO-GI (PROCESSION CEREMONY) 参進の儀

One foot in front of the other, white zori* shoes clacking against the ground as you walk towards the ceremony hall. The bridal party, accompanying you is led inside by a maiden. Head slightly tilted down you are still able to see how many people were present, your family to the left, Bofurin to the right, and all the clansmen were identifiable in their dark green haori*. Peering up, you can see the ceremonial table and altar at the back of the hall, a man stands beside it. Platinum blond hair, it's hard to see his eyes with his fringe, but you tell they are a murky color. He wears a traditional groom’s black kimono and the same haori as his clansmen, on closer inspection the Furin symbol is on it—a neutral expression on his face, lips in a tight line. The priest awaits you beyond the table.

NYUJYO (ENTRANCE) 入場

The maiden introduces the bride and groom, “Today we are witnessing the unification of the young lady from the Hatano family and Lord General Kaji Ren of the Bofurin clan.”

SHUBATSU-NO-GI (PURIFICATION CEREMONY) 修祓の儀

The priest purifies the bride, groom, and attendees. To purify you and Kaji Ren from all your sins to begin your journey together.

NORITO-SOJO (SHINTO RITUAL PRAYER READING) 祝詞奏上

Then the priest recites ritual prayers, announcing to the deities of your marriage, a marriage promising eternal happiness together. Asking for protection and blessings. You shift and wiggle your toes against the socks. Unable to scratch the itch, you peek over to your right, at Kaji Ren. The guests all stand and bow.

SANKON-NO-GI（EXCHANGE OF CUPS）三献の儀

The exchange of the three cups of sacred sake. In front, three cups, small, medium, and large. The priests begin to pour the sake into them. The familiar scent, it's your family's sake. For the first time your will wavers. You raise the cup to your lips, taking three sips, the harsh liquid burning your throat, but you force it down. Passing the cup to the priest for it to be refilled, he hands the cup to Kaji, who does the same, face never faltering. This proceeds until you have sipped from all three cups.

KAGURA HŌNŌ (DEDICATION OF THE SACRED DANCE) 神楽奉納

The maidens then begin to perform the ancient dance as an offering to the gods.

SEISHI SOJO (READING OF VOWS) 誓詞奏上

The priest hands Kaji a paper scroll, he clears his throat, “This woman, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.” He hands the paper to you, “This man, I marry, no matter what the health situation is, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, and help this person until death, I swear.”

“Groom, do you take this woman to be your wife?”

“I do.”

“Bride, do you take this man to be your husband?”

Gulping, “I do.”

“Then it shall be.”

TAMAGUSHI HOTEN (TAMAGUSHI OFFERINGS) 玉串奉奠

Holding the tamagushi* in your hands, you bow twice, clap your hands twice, and bow one more time. Kaji does it alongside you. Showing gratitude to the gods.

YUBIWA-NO-GI (EXCHANGE OF RINGS) 指輪の交換

The maiden then passes a black velvet box to the priest, he takes it and opens it in front of us. Kaji takes the smaller band and turns to you, holding out his hand, you place yours in his, and he slides the silver band on your ring finger. You turn and take the other ring, sliding the band on his ring finger. His hands feel calloused and rough.

SHINZOKUSAKAZUKI-NO-GI (DRINKING OF SACRED WINE WITH THE WEDDING PARTICIPANTS) 親族杯の儀

Marriage not only symbolizes the binding of the bride and groom but also their clans and families. All the guests present take three sips of the wine, binding the Bofurin clan and Hatano family together.

TAIJYO (EXIT) 退場

After bowing, people start to exit the hall. Everyone takes their exit, leaving you and Kaji alone. “Follow me.” He roughly speaks and leads you back to his personal estate. Following the wedding, the night to consummate it was equally if not more important.

Stepping into his bedroom chambers, he shuts the door behind him. You take off the wataboshi, placing it on the table against the wall. Kaji is staring at you, he’s finally able to see what you look like. Undoing your hair, letting it fall, placing Mother’s hairpin down. Nimble fingers reaching to undo the obi*, to get undressed, Kaji lets out a loud cough. “There’s no need.”

Tilting your head, “Lord General, this is my duty.”

“You’ve already done it. I heard about Akihiro, we used to spar together…and no need to call me so formally. We are husband and wife now, you are also a Kaji…” He trails off as he steps towards the bed, picking up his sword from its stand and unsheathing it. You watch as he slices at his arm, dripping his blood on the white sheets, staining it crimson. “This should be enough. There’s no need for you to worry about an heir.” With that, he walks past you into the connected room, disappearing from your sight. You don't follow, opting to get unready for bed instead. Blowing out the candles and sliding under the blankets, on the opposite side of where the blood is.

Kaji sits down on the lounge chair, hands working to bandage the cut. Then he cleans his blade down spotless, taking off his haori and the haori himo*, kicking off his sandals as he leans into the cushion. He sighs, running a hand through his fringe. How did he get into this situation?

It was sad news to hear an old friend had died at such a young age, but what he didn’t expect was Umemiya and Hiragi summoning him to tell him he was to marry his dead friend’s sister. He knew the status of your family, knowing they were in dire need of manpower.

“Kaji, if you don’t want to, I won’t force you to.”

He clenched his jaw so hard he thought it would shatter. “If it's not me, who will do it?”

“Hiragi would have to, the Hatano family specifically requested a groom from the Vaisravana unit. Well, there’s Sakura, but…” Umemiya pauses, the third in command, General Sakura Haruka, everyone collectively agrees he was not mature enough to take on a wife. “Her name’s Tsuya Hatano, she’s a year younger than you.”

Kaji did not want to put Hiragi in a position he did not want to be in, no, he owed too much to the man. Owed his entire life to Hiragi, so reluctantly, he agreed. Word spread quickly in Bofurin, and his vices began to bother him about it.

“A day ourrrr RRRen gets marrrrrried! Who woulda thought!” Enomoto laughs, smacking him on the back as he grimaces. Kasumi nods with a smile more annoying than usual. “Go away, piss off!” Kaji unwraps a candy and chucks it into his mouth, swirling the sweet around.

“Oh look! It’s Sir Kaji!” Great, he mumbles, turning around and is met with another headache. A triple headache that is. Nirei, Suo, and Sakura all walk towards him.

“I heard you were marrying a daughter from the Hatano family!” Nirei asks excitedly, making Kaji cringe internally.

“The who family?” Sakura asks.

“Sakura, they are practically ranked one–first in the trading business…” thumbing through the small notebook, “Oh they make the famous Hatano sake. Sakura, you like that one.”

“Eh?” Sakura scratches his head, trying to remember.

“Sakura, you know the names are the same, right?” Suo teases, dodging the duo-colored boy’s punches.

“The Hatano’s have four children. The oldest son, the oldest daughter, the youngest daughter, and the youngest son. I heard Tsuya Hatano was very pretty, but I thought she was going to marry Mishiyo of Roppo-Ichiza…I don’t have much of the youngest daughter or son…they haven’t been to social events yet.” Kaji intently listens as the younger boy talks. It felt a heavy bitter taste on his tongue, worse knowing he was marrying someone who was supposed to be promised to another. Crunching the candy, he storms off. “Oi, Kaji wherrrrre ya going?!” Enomoto calls out for him.

It wasn’t until the night before the wedding he was informed the bride had changed to the youngest daughter. To his relief, you were only a couple of years younger than your sister. However, now, he's marrying someone he has no information on. You don’t want this either, no one wants to marry out of their family’s desperation. Kaji can only begin to imagine your emotions, he’ll always despise arranged marriages. This deepened when he first laid eyes on you, a well-bred lady, who looks far too weak and frail to be betrothed to a brute like him. He’s certain even the slightest touch of his hand will shatter you, unable to read any emotions on your calm face like this was your only destiny. Kaji sensed underneath that, the firmness in you, in those clear hues. Shifting uncomfortably on the chair, the image of you taking off your Obi belt resurfaces, he splays a hand over his face to smother the heat. Your skin must be smooth to the touch, without a single blemish, raised completely differently than him. It stirs an unfamiliar emotion in his chest.

The wind chimes on the window jingles in the wind, swaying back and forth, you peel open your eyes to see Kaji not present. The sheets wrestle as you sit up, surveying the room with the daylight present. Noting your husband was a simple man, with little to no decoration, aside from a little jar filled with wrappers in the corner of the room, catching your eye. You walk over to inspect it. Popping open the lid to sniff it.

Candy? Does he like sweets?

“Miss, are you awake?” Riko knocks on the door. She had demanded to come with you, saying she promised to never leave your side. Grateful that someone familiar with you, you make a mental note to raise her pay. “Yes, come in.”

Riko enters with an elderly lady, as she comes over to usher me into the washroom, the older woman silently walks over to inspect the bedsheets. Glancing over your shoulder; she looks up, clasps her hands, and deeply bows. The warm water comforts you, Riko washes your hair. “What do you think about the Lord?” She asks.

You hum and tilt your head back, “He’s…not that much of a talker…?” Shutting your eyes trying to remember last night. Deciding it would be best to not speak of the bedding night, you sink further under the water, it pools up beneath your nose. Riko helps you dress, it's a fine kimono, made of silk; a pale fabric embroidered with green thread. Upon entering the hall another maid awaits, much younger than the other. “I will show you around the estate.” She says and bows, ushering Riko and you to follow behind.

Your legs hurt, why is it never-ending? The young girl talks your ear off about the history and types of rooms present. You nod along, despite not paying attention, until you pass by a large portrait hung on the wall. A younger version of Kaji, along with his late parents. You stare it for a while until a voice breaks your thoughts.

“Arrrre you the new miss?!” A man with slick black hair swiftly approaches you. The young servant bows her head at him. Straightening to do the same, “No, no, no you don’t need to bow yourrrr head. Yourrrr Kaji Rrren’s wife! Yourrrr my superrriorrrr!” He’s boisterous. “The name’s Enomoto Takeshi!” He nods, and you give him a friendly smile at his enthusiasm. Enomoto is taken aback, eyes widening.

“Is something wrong?”

“N-No! I’d say Rrren found himself quite a fairrr maiden!” Enomoto rubs at the back of his neck, “If you need anything, just hollerrrrr!” Giving you a thumb-up before scurrying off. Were the Bofurin members this eccentric?

The tour finally ends, sitting on a cushioned chair as you place your feet on the wooden rest. The walking seemed to never cease, Kaji’s estate alone rivaled your family’s house. Hours spent learning about the history and Kaji’s childhood. Letting out a sigh, you lean back, closing your eyes to refresh.

“Psst! Enomoto! Over here!” The guys from his unit flag him down. “Did you see the miss? What’d she look like?” They surround him with questions.

“Well, she was prrretty…” Enomoto mumbles, remembering your face. His answer causes the group of boys to erupt, pestering him for more information.

“Is this all you have on her?” Kaji leans on his desk with elbows, staring directly into the nervous Vice General.

“Y-Yes!” The blonde squeaks out.

He hums and flicks through the three-page paper, “Alright, you can go now.” Nirei lets out a sigh of relief and skimpers out and Kaji begins to read the report.

When he finished, he reached over for the bell, and summoned a servant.

“Yes, my lord?” The man bows his head.

“Call for the Head Maid.” Kaji traces a finger over the papers.

“Young Lord?” The Head Maid bows her head at him. With the passing of his parents, she had been the one who managed the household in place of his mother. Now with a new lady of the house, his wife should be one to do it. “Shall I start training the Miss tomorrow?”

Kaji bluntly responds, “No, there’s no need.”

The head maid is taken aback, “May I ask why…?”

“She doesn’t need to do anything.” You were raised preciously. Even the rain could leave you ill for days. You shouldn’t be forced into a duty you never wanted, especially one that’s tiring. Remembering Nirei’s words: The lady spends most of her time reading. “Also, make arrangements to expand the library.”

The Head Maid was the same woman who entered aside Riko on the morning after the wedding night. “What do you mean I won’t be handling the household?”

“The Lord has not permitted you to do so. I will continue to carry on the work of the lady of the house.”

Kaji not permitting you was one thing, but the way she talked down on you, saying you weren’t the Head Lady irked you.

You later found out the Head Maid was also Kaji’s nanny and took care of him while also managing the internal affairs after his parents passing. There’s no way he would side with you, a woman he just met over the woman who cared for him since he was an infant. So you just decided to bite your tongue.

“I can’t go to the library?” Frowning at the footman. If Kaji didn’t want you to do anything, you would surely die of boredom. “It’s being expanded Miss, it should be finished in five days.” He fumbles out. Letting out a sigh, “Alright, I’ll come back then.” Turning on your heel back to your chambers. You don’t miss the way the servants are jeering at you under their breaths.

It had to be the Head Maid, who else could’ve spread the word that you weren’t allowed to take on the marital duties? The servants were anxious, trying to figure out how to treat you. While they never spoke rudely to your face, they did it from behind. From your books being placed back in the library when you haven’t finished with them to deliberately brewing poor tea leaves, the pranks continued. Snickering behind your back after playing innocent to your face. They even influenced the guards and footmen. Back at home, you would’ve had guards and a few servants accompanying you whenever you left your chambers, but now you only had Riko. Even Riko took on all the work of a low-ranking maid for you, dusting your room and bringing you your food. She picked up on the servants neglecting those tasks. But you chose to ignore it for your family, for Tsuya.

The clan members were kind and welcoming, it touched your heart to be accepted by them. You even made friends, Tsubaki and Kotoha, who you often have tea with. When Enomoto and Kasumi run into you, they chat with you. You even met Vice Generals, Suo and Nirei. Nirei reminds you much of a sweet, innocent puppy and neither of them seems to harbor any hostility towards you like the Head Maid. They worked under General Sakura, speaking of whom, your first meeting with the two-colored boy didn’t go well.

You were at the library alone, carrying some books back to your chambers. Maybe you picked out too many because you were struggling to walk back with them. Nobody was near except Sakura. He was speaking with Kaji and caught sight of you when he was heading out. Wordlessly he picked the books out of your arms and carried them. “Thank you, you can place them on that table.”

“You’re kind of weak.” Your eye twitched. Was he talking about how weak you are physically or that you couldn't stand up for the mistreatment?

“General, not everyone is as fortunate as you. Please take your leave now.” He stared at you for a moment before nodding his head and leaving.

A day later Sakura stands outside your outer chambers, hesitating to knock. “Sakura…that’s not very kind to say to Lady Kaji…she got married in exchange for manpower, can you imagine being in her position?” Suo reprimands him as Nirei nods.

“Are you here to see the lady?” Riko notices him standing at the door. He flinches and stammers, “Gah! Y-Yeah…” She ushers him inside.

“Ah, Riko and…the General?” You look up surprised to see Sakura who is avoiding eye contact with you with a scowl on his face. Riko sets the snack tray down on the table. “General, do you like cookies?”

Sakura reluctantly sits down and glances at the tray. “Here, have some.” You push a plate towards him, he grumbles and picks a biscuit up. You stifle a giggle watching the way his face lights up as he eats. He reminds you of Akiro. “You still haven’t told me your name.”

“It’s Sakura Haruka.” He says while chewing.

“Well, Sakura, why are you here?” You lean on your hand, waiting for his answer.

“Urk– y-yesterday…” he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “I–I’m sor–”

“Say ah~” You push a piece of candy into his mouth. He flinches backward into the chair, raising his arms like he is about to fight you. He’s as red as a rose. How adorable. “Oh? Do you not like candy?” You laugh as he blubbers, trying to talk.

“I’ll forgive you if you come to have tea with me sometime. You can also bring Suo and Nirei with you.”

And so, the next spring came. Kaji and you barely see each other, let alone speak. Even at important events, Kaji doesn’t even make eye contact with you, the house servants murmur to themselves about a cold marriage because you’ve yet to nurture an heir. Riko is still Riko, tending to you like she has been, although lately you sense she’s also on edge, spending more time at your side, recommending you take walks or visit the shopping district. Laying on your side on the bed facing away from Kaji, true to his word, he hadn’t touched you since you got married last year. He spent the nights sleeping on the sofa, until three months ago he started sleeping by your side. Kotoha, the clan’s doctor, instructed him to do so after he complained about a sore back.

You should go see Lady Kotoha. With Kasumi’s advice, he seeks out the clan’s doctor. “My back has been aching lately and it's affecting my training.”

Kotoha jots what he says down, “How do you sleep?”

“On my side.”

“Hmm, you should start laying on your back more, sleeping on your side all the time might be the cause of this issue.”

“It’s too small for me to sleep on my back, do you have any pain medication?”

“Too small? Where have you been sleeping?” Kotoha tilts her head in confusion.

“On a couch.”

“Why not on the bed?” She questions.

“I can’t– someone is occupying it.”

“You mean your wife.” Kotoha knows about how your marriage is with him, “Lord General, it’s common for married couples to share a bed. Even if I prescribe you with medication, the pain won’t go away.” With that, she sends him back to his estate.

The first time he slept by your side you thought he wanted to have sex with you. Slipping your kimono off your shoulder, “S-Stop. I’m just here to sleep on the bed. The doctor told me to.” Covering his eyes with his hand, he only removes it when you dress yourself again. Not even sparing him a single word you laid back down and pulled the blanket over yourself.

“What…did you do today?” Kaji breaks the unbearable silence, laying on his back, head turned to look at your figure.

“Nothing.” A blank reply. He could easily find out by asking Riko or any of the other maids, why bother asking you? After all this time of being neglected, you formed some sort of resentment towards him. Telling yourself it was only a matter of time before he takes in another wife, a woman he truly loves. Your mother often wrote letters, asking when she would meet her grandchild and to try and seduce Kaji. Over time the letters have gotten worse and worse, lately you just chuck them unopened into the fire to be kindling. Clutching the blanket closer, you close your eyes, falling into a dreamless slumber.

Kaji clenches his jaw, his insides cringing in pain, a part of him wants to be angry and yell at you. He takes a deep breath, looking at your back, he wants to reach out and touch you. To feel your skin against his, at first, he thought he could just ignore you. But now, he isn’t sure. He would usually ignore when the other men talk of you, how gorgeous you are, and well that was true. However, when he overheard a man from the Komoku unit talk about the things he would do to you if he were in Kaji’s place, that had his blood boiling. His vices had to pull him off the guy as he pummeled the bastard with his fists, in a fit of anger he unsheathed his blade towards another Bofurin member, and Hiragi had to clash with him to pull him back to his senses. He never felt such a rage on behalf of anyone ever before in his life, the feeling scared him. Scared he would turn back into a beast.

“Kaji, this is proof of your feelings towards your wife.” Hiragi pours him a cup of alcohol.

The younger male shakes his head in his hands, “That’s not possible.”

“You fought on your wife’s honor this time, I won’t punish you…Lord General Militant Mizuki also wants to extend his apology to your wife.”

“...Hiragi…how do you get along with your wife…?” Kaji strains out.

“Are you having marital problems?”

“We don’t talk, the only time I touched her was during the ring exchanging ceremony…we haven’t had…”

“Your first time yet huh?” Hiragi finishes his sentence, “Well, I don't have a wife myself…my advice probably isn't the best in this situation. Let me ask you this Kaji, do you want to change your relationship with her now? Do you want to be closer to her?”

Kaji pauses, does he want to be closer to you? The way you smile at everyone except him, offer your tender gaze to everybody else. He wants you to look at him the same way, to be the recipient of your affections. Especially the way you treat the Sakura, he wants you to talk comfortably with him as well. “I…I do…”

“Then you need to be upfront, try making subtle changes. Talk to her, ask her how her day was, and make an effort. Communication and honesty are key, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Since you guys haven’t been intimate yet, it might take a while.” Kaji nods at his superior’s words.

Glancing at your sleeping figure, he sighs. Stretching his arm out, he hovers his hand before hesitantly touching your hair. The silky strands flow in between his fingers, he presses a kiss against it, breathing in your scent before letting go. Crossing his arms and he enters a dreamless sleep as well.

Kotoha reminded you of your sister. She was mature and smart. You were in awe when you entered her office. The jars of herbs and medicines, you never thought a woman could become a doctor. “I’m running out of supplies, why don’t you accompany me outside.”

“Oh…I’m not permitted to go out…”

Remembering the Head Maid telling you, you couldn’t go to the shopping district with Riko. “Stay here, it's for your safety.” Live quietly like a rat.

Even going to Kotoha’s workplace at the Umemiya estate, you had to sneak out.

“What are you saying? You have every right to leave your estate…who told you, you couldn’t?”

“It’s nothing! I must’ve been mistaken since I fall ill often.” You raise your hands playing it off. “Kotoha, does Bofurin not hold banquets or gatherings?” Trying to change the subject, you never stepped foot out of the estate until now when Kotoha invited you to see her chambers.

“Huh? We do, if anything we hold too many…” she chuckles. “Come to think of it, do you not like such things? You never come. Oh– I’m not trying to pry or anything, I know some people who don’t go because they find it bothersome.”

You’ve never received word or invitations to go. Kaji doesn’t even tell you. When you asked the Head Maid when the New Year’s celebration would take place she said that there was no need for you to go. That wicked woman– it’s almost like she wants to push you out and marry Kaji instead. You can’t say anything to the servants since they all take her side and that Kaji prick probably won’t even hear you out.

“When will we be heading out? Shall I meet you here?” You avoid her questions altogether.

“Miss, please don’t walk too fast!” Riko speeds up trying to catch up with you. “We shouldn’t wander too far from General Sakura and Lady Kotoha…”

“It’s fine, I just want to see the hairpins in that shop, Tsuya’s about to give birth soon, I want to send her a gift. Will you help me pick something out? Riko…?” You turn around but don’t see her at all. Looking around, the crowds of people walking by make it difficult to spot her. An uneasy feeling creeps up, you should try going back to the way you came from. Retracing your steps, you're grabbed by your arm and yanked into an alleyway. “MMPH!” You try to scream, but a cloth is placed over your mouth. An odd scent fills your nostrils.

Riko desperately tries to call out for you. You’re able to faintly hear her, before succumbing to unconsciousness. “Miss? Miss!”

“Riko? What’s wrong?” Kotoha notices her panicking in the middle of the street. Sakura walks out of the medicine store behind her carrying bags.

“The lady! I can’t find her!”

Stirring awake, you open your eyes to find yourself lying on the wooden floor of a shabby shack. Wigging your hands, your wrists and ankles are bound by a rope. Eyes darting around the room to see what was going on.

“Lookie! She’s awake!” A man’s shrill voice pierces your ears.

“She is? Hmm…?” A second voice. “Hey, you idiot! You grabbed the wrong chick! She ain’t Kotoha Tachibana!” The other man grabs him by the collar about to punch him.

“Shit? Really? My bad my bad…you barely gave me anything to work with!”

“Dumbass! You stupid fucker! We can’t get ransom with some unknown girl!”

“You sure? Her kimono looks expensive~ She was also traveling with a Bofurin General, you know how protective that clan is with their members.”

They continue arguing, and you see the door is slightly ajar. Squinting your eyes you can see a forest beyond it, now inspecting the men, you notice one has a dagger strapped to their thigh and the other has a katana on their hip. One of the men noticed you staring, “Well hello there…wow she’s a gorgeous girl. I’m sure we can sell her for a hefty bunch.”

“She’s likely married, she ain’t a virgin, we can’t get that much.” He scoffs, rubbing at his temples.

“Then lemme play with her for a bit…, I went through so much trouble. We can just sell her to that old lady running that brothel. I’m sure she’ll rack in a bunch of money.”

“Fine, sun sets in two hours.” A third voice speaks up, much for gruff than the other two. He leaves out the door.

“Fuck this, M’ going for a smoke.” The second voice leaves, leaving the door wider. Probably so he can hear if someone goes wrong. With more sunlight pouring into the dark shed you can clearly see the man’s face, a dark scar running down it.

“Whewwww…I’d never seen a woman prettier than ya. I’ll say…got permission to play with you too.”

“Play?” You croak out.

“How interesting! Not ‘Where am I?’ or a ‘Why are you doing this?’ hmmm?”

“You wouldn’t tell me anyways.” Speaking as calmly as you can muster.

“I like ya…don’t like my women all whiny and crying. Ruins my mood, I think I'll enjoy you. Might even visit you at the brothel we’ll sell you to.” He licks his lips, the action making bile come up your throat. “Righty! I got something that’ll make ya feel real good!” He pulls out a vial of liquid. “Pucker up!” You try moving back, but he grips your mouth, pouring it in. Closing your throat to prevent it from going down, he clicks his tongue and shoves two digits into the back of your throat making you gag the liquid down. “There we go! It ain’t poison if that’s why you're shaking.” He smiles. The murky substance drips down into your stomach as you cough.

Grabbing the dagger at his thigh, you flinch, pressing back against the wall. He hums as he drags the tip down your chin and chest, the sharp blade cutting the front of your kimono, slowly exposing your chest. Dread fills you, is anyone coming to save you? Whatever he gave you, you didn’t have much time to waste. Clenching your fists you wait for him to take back the knife. A sinister grin on his face as he scoffs at your tough demeanor. He’s speaking, but you can’t hear him, focusing on when the knife will be farthest away from you, he starts waving it around, pointing outside.

You’ve always been weak, even standing out in the sun for too long would leave you ill for days.

But you never realized the other downside of it until you were cornered by a son from the Hanazawa clan. He pinned you against the wall and demanded to know why you didn’t respond to his advances. Luckily, Tsuya was looking for you and he quickly backed off, fumbling out some excuse about you dropping your handkerchief and he wanted to give it back. The feeling of being helpless and powerless was horrid. He could’ve had his way with you– do what he wanted to you.

A few weeks later you ran into Akihiro. “Have you just finished training big brother?”

“Yes, is there something you need?” He eyes you up and down, seeing that you are troubled.

“Do you know how to take a man down?”

He stiffens up, “Did something happen?”

“Oh, um nothing– I wanted to know– just in case.”

“Hm, well I do see how it can be helpful in that case.”

Slipping your hands out the rope you’ve been working at, you lunge at the man. Moving like how your brother taught you. Adrenaline rewiring your brain, you push him backward, kneeing him in the crotch, and shoving your elbow into his mouth to shut him up. The dagger slips out of his hand as he tries to shove you off, biting down on your flesh. Grabbing the blade, you plunge it repeatedly into his neck. Over and over again until he stops moving and his eyes roll back. Dark red liquid oozes out of the protruding skin, flowing down onto the floor. The man goes limp and you finally back off, looking over at the door to see if anyone was coming back inside. Slicing your ankles free.

A slip of relief, you’re crying. You didn’t even cry at Akihiro’s funeral, but now you mourn his death. Looking past the door into the forest, that man said the sun was going to set soon, you didn’t have time. Making a run for it, kicking off your shoes and socks, you dash out into the forest. The two other men shout behind you, chasing you down. Your lungs screaming at you, and your knees crying out as adrenaline rushes into your veins. Stumbling over a few sticks and rocks, you pray to not lose your footing. Tears bubble in your vision as you blink them away, a silent prayer for any kind of help.

“Stop! You bitch!” They scream after you.

Gasping for air as you feel your limit approaching. Right out the corner of your eye, you see a slip of green moving, Bofurin green.

“Ren!” You wail, turning to run in the new direction. Please, please, please.

“Over here!” A new voice shouts. You catch sight of a burgundy-haired man, Vice General Suo Hayato. He raises his bow, aiming behind you. His lone red eye is steady as he shoots, and you trip as the arrow passes by. Finally, looking behind you, the men turn tail and run, fleeing to save their lives. Panting on the ground, your throat is dry and hoarse. Someone engulfs you in their arms. Wrapping themselves around you. Who is it? Your vision is blurry as your head is tilted back, there’s a deafening ringing in your ears, and all you can see is gray.

“Lord General Kaji! Lord General Kaji!” Everyone looks up as Nirei bursts into the meeting hall.

“What’s going on?” The Lord Commander stands up.

“The Lady– Lady Kaji– she’s gone!” For the first time in his life, Kaji feels his blood run cold.

The nearby west forest was the first place to search. Bandits would kidnap women, often holding them there. He wasn’t much religious, but he begged and pleaded for any higher being to ensure you were safe. Hopelessness, regret, desperation, what else could he feel?

Don’t be hurt, don’t be injured, please don’t die.

All he can do is blame himself for his carelessness, touching your disheveled limp form, he wants to puke. Your cheek, colorless and clammy, holding you tightly against him.

If only he paid more attention if only he accompanied you if only it wasn’t like this.

On one hand, he was terrified of being vulnerable, but on the other, he wouldn’t mind being blinded by his emotions since you had become his whole world. He could no longer deny it, he fell helplessly under your charms from the moment he saw you. He no longer wanted to deny it.

“Go after them! Don’t kill them, not until I talk with them!” His men obey his orders, hunting down the men.

“She doesn’t look good, we should take her to Lady Kotoha–” Suo reaches down to feel your temperature.

Kaji slaps his hand away, “Don’t you dare touch her.” He bares his fangs, wrapping you in his haori and carrying you away, away from the miserable place.

Whose crying?

Mother?

Tsuya?

It hurts.

I can’t breathe.

Anybody…

“I’m not your mother! You aren’t my child! Stop calling me that!!!”

Father, why were you so nice to me?

Tsuya…why didn't you resent me?

If you had held a single piece of hatred for me, I wouldn’t have felt so indebted.

Can I wish for my own happiness? Am I allowed to wish for something like that?

“Is it poison?”

Kotoha shakes her head, “It’s a common aphrodisiac, but what they gave her is a much more potent form.” She hands him a jar, “This might ease the pain…”

“How do I make it go away? How– How can she no longer be in pain…?” Clenching his fists at his sides, he is unable to look at your writhing form.

“The quickest way is a release. It’ll detoxify her.”

“You can’t mean–” Kotoha nods. “We– We haven’t even–”

“Lord General, you’re her husband.” She calls his title to ground him, “Since you guys haven’t…you can do it without penetration.” Kotoha glances at his hand. She stands, a slight bow before leaving, shutting the doors behind her.

Kaji sees you grasping at your chest, at the torn kimono, he grits his teeth. Sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair out of your sweaty face. Your pretty face scrunched up in agony. He wants to cry.

“Help– cough hurts…” Your eyes open, staring at him with a drugged gaze. Tears slipping down.

Wiping them away with his thumb, “Don’t cry, please don’t cry– I’m going to take care of you…” Pulling you into his lap, feeling how you're overheating, seeing you in pain stabs at his heart. He tries to remember the boys talking about their night deeds, to remember how to do this. Gulping, he pulls the end of your kimono up to your thighs, deeply inhaling before he moves his fingers closer to your core. It's wet, dripping, crying out, for something, anything. Your hips twitch at the contact of his digits against your folds. The drug destroys all reason as you grip his thighs and roll your hips. Mewling when your clit touches the tip of his finger. “Shhh, it's okay…” Kaji smoothes your hair down. Slipping one finger in, you gasp as you throw your head back against his shoulder. He begins to curl it, squishing it against your walls.

Choking out a moan as he inserts another finger, pushing them in and out of your cunt. He closely watches your reactions, the way you jolt and squirm when he presses against your g-spot. His restraint breaks, he wants to bring you to your release and make you feel better.

Your cries of pleasure fill the room as he quickly finger fucks you, slipping his other hand down to play with your clit. “Guh– mmnn s’good-hahh!” Slurring out, unable to form any actual words. The desire for more, your eyes catch onto his dark gray ones, his Adam's apple moving as he swallows. He shivers and lowly groans when your plush lips make contact with the skin of his neck, suckling on it. Your hot slimy muscle lapping at the sweat beading on him.

He breathes harshly, telling himself you're not in your right mind, and he to stay on task. How he dreamt of you making these sweet noises in the dead of night, having you all to himself, making you his. It’s driving him wild.

You begin thrashing, Kaji tightens his hold on you, keeping you in place. You claw at his arms, body trembling as you come undone. Your mouth is ajar as you gush, clear streams spraying out of you onto the sheets and flow about. He continues to move his hands to prolong your orgasm, helping you ride it out. You shake against him and he can see the change in your eyes, the drugged haziness clearing up a bit, making you more aware. The aphrodisiac is wearing off. “Ren…” You murmur before going limp, exhausted and drained. It made sense for you to pass out. His forearm against your head, you’re cooled down now.

Placing you back down on the bed, Kaji calls in a servant to help clean you as he makes his way into the washroom. Standing behind the door as he palms his hard cock, his pants straining against it. Tugging his cock out he spits on his head to pump himself. Replaying your moans and expressions as he works himself to his climax. The way you called his given name– cum spurting out his angry red tip as he gasps your name over and over again. Fuck.

The windchime jingles, and you wake up oddly refreshed. “My lady!” Riko throws herself beside your bed, “I–I was so scared!” She helps you sit up, fat tears pouring out of her eyes.

“Are you alright…? I gave you some medicine…your fever has gone down.” Kotoha places her hand over your forehead.

“Kotoha..?” You didn’t expect her to be by your bedside when you awoke.

“They were after me…I feel responsible.” The brunette trembles, rubbing at the back of your hand.

“It wasn’t your fault.” You give her a warm smile, happy she was alright.

“Girl, why didn’t you have anyone with you?” Tsubaki sits down on the edge of the bed.

“What the hell were you doing?!” Kaji grabs Sakura by his collar.

“I was guarding Kotoha!” Sakura grabs Kaji’s wrist. He releases his grip, he clicks his tongue.

“Tch– who was the guard with her?”

“There wasn’t one– she said she found people around her bothersome.” That doesn’t make sense, when you were back at the Hattano clan, you would have guards and servants around you at all times, and you were basically pampered– he didn’t receive any word from anybody you were heading out. Things just weren’t adding up.

*Notes

#read the contents #tw: dubcon #wind breaker #wind breaker x reader #wind breaker smut #kaji ren #kaji ren x reader #kaji smut #mino.writes

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loguetowns · 1 year

Text

sweet dreams

roronoa zoro x reader

kiss me through the phone

1.2k words

a/n: this was inspired by this haikyuu fanfic (pls read if ur a sakusa enjoyer, i promise you it's worth the read!!). anyways, i feel like zoro is always the one i write for as my first fic back from a hiatus hehe

sleep usually comes to zoro quite easily, greeting him like an old friend. tonight, however, it evades him like he’s offended it. he’s restless, tossing and turning, back and forth, until he finally gives up.

he looks at the clock.

it’s been 2 minutes.

ugh, fuck it.

he sits at the edge of the bed, reaching for the snail sitting on his bedside table. the receiver rests between his ear and his shoulder as he dials, leg bouncing up and down as he waits for the voice he’s so desperate to hear.

purururururu-

“hello?"

your voice is a little fuzzy through the phone, and zoro presses the receiver even closer to his ear.

“hi.”

for a second, there's only silence and zoro frowns. nami did warn him that there was a storm hitting the island. it’s also really late.

maybe it wasn't such a good idea to call-

and then your laughter comes through, finding him like a ray of sun peeking through dark clouds.

“zoro, what even- i have so many questions!”

at the sound of your voice, he can feel a wave of comfort wash over him. he sinks into his bed and, instinctively, he smiles.

“oh yeah?”

“yeah!” you giggle. "where did you get a den den mushi? why are you calling? shouldn’t you be asleep?”

before he can answer, you gasp. “wait,” your voice drops to a whisper. “did you… did you steal a phone?”

you sound so horrified and zoro laughs — earnestly, truly, and oh-so easily. somehow, happiness is so effortless with you.

“zoro!” you chastise him, scandalized at his laughter. “tell me you didn’t!”

he nestles into his pillows. with you in his ear, it almost feels like you're right next to him.

“i'm a pirate, not a thief.” he huffs. “nami was hoarding a couple in her room and with a little - ahem - negotiating, she let me use one.”

“oh boy,” zoro can hear you shuffle in bed. “i hope you didn't trade the rest of your life savings just for a snail.”

“life savings? you mean the 10 berries i hold to my name?”

“uh, have you seen your bounty? you hold a lot more than 10 berries to your name.”

“you keeping tabs on me?“

"of course i am," you say it so matter-of-factly that zoro can't help but grin. he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror — god, he looks as lovesick as the stupid cook.

but he doesn't hate it.

“i know it's late but don't act like you weren't still up. i know you don't sleep.”

“maybe i can't sleep because i don't have my white noise machine here with me.”

he scoffs, “is that what i am to you? just white noise while i sleep?”

“please.” zoro smiles; he can practically hear you roll your eyes. “you're lucky you can't hear yourself snore. and you should consider it a compliment! it means it's useful to have you in bed.”

“just useful, huh? i feel like mind-blowing might be a better way to describe my performance in bed.”

you click your tongue and zoro laughs. it's truly amazing how you can still make him feel so weightless from across the seas.

“always so cocky,” you tsk. “is that a job requirement when you sign up to be a pirate or something?”

“if it was, chopper and usopp would've never made the cut.”

“don't pick on them!” zoro hears a soft thud! as you fall back against your pillows. “gosh, it feels like forever since i've seen them.”

“because it has been. they miss you."

after a beat, he adds, “i miss you.”

“i miss you too.”

for a moment, neither of you speak. all he hears is the patter of rain in the background and when he closes his eyes, he can imagine you cozy in bed with a window open. you always love the sound of rain at night.

“i'm excited to see you all tomorrow,” you say quietly.

“yeah, but me the most, right?”

“of course.”

he sighs, looking out the window at the night sky, moonlit and cloudless. he wishes that it was rain instead — because that would mean he’s not so far away.

“i wish i could see you right now.”

you laugh and zoro can picture the way your eyes crinkle when you do, “i think you can wait a few hours.”

“actually,” he says. “accounting for the storm, it'll take us another 16 hours. but who's counting?”

“definitely not you.”

“definitely not.”

“you're just always impatient.”

“correct.”

“patience is a virtue, you know.”

“i'm not virtuous.”

“no, you're ridiculous.” the affection in your voice makes zoro's heart ache. there’s more rustling, and he wishes for nothing more than to be under the covers with you.

tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

“go to sleep.” it's like you can read his mind. “i promise time will pass by a lot faster if you do.”

zoro stares at the moon, wondering if it knows that it'll never come close to outshining you.

“tell me a story first.”

“what?”

“tell me a bedtime story.”

“now?” you sigh. “but it’s so late. my brain cells stop working after business hours.”

“yeah, but i’m a vip client.”

“sorry, we don't do after-hours services.”

“if you do, i promise to give you a present tomorrow.” he reaches over to grab the aforementioned gift from his bedside, as if you’d be able to see it through the phone.

“a present?” curiosity colours your pretty voice. “wait, it better not be something lame, like a... kiss or a hug.”

“i dare you to call my kisses lame to my face.”

“or what, big boy?” you tease.

“oh, you don’t wanna know,” he warns. “i am a pirate after all.”

“ooh, so scary. i better do what the scary pirate says.”

and with that, zoro smiles to himself. he opens your present, playing with the contents as he gets comfortable, eyes closing as he waits for you to start.

you're not even halfway through your story before his snores travel through the snail, and you shake your head with endearment. your heart longs for him the way his wants you. you were only half-joking earlier; it really is that much harder for you to sleep without him.

there is nothing more comforting than the sound of zoro’s gentle slumber, the feel of his breath against your skin as he snuggles close, chest against your back, an arm snaked around your waist.

a sigh echoes in your lonely room. you should really take your own advice; tomorrow will come faster if you sleep.

you choose not to hang up. instead, you place the receiver next to your pillow and you pull up the covers, ready to join zoro in dreamland.

“good night,” you whisper to the rain, the moon, and your lover.

“i can’t wait to be with you.”

and from across the ocean, zoro sleeps soundly with starlight illuminating his room, catching the edges of a ring falling out of his hand — one with glittering diamonds, that he's spent days picking out, that he'll offer on one knee as he confesses,

i can’t wait to be with you,

for the rest of our lives.

#roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro fluff #zoro fluff #one piece x reader #¡! ❞ [ fics ]#man what tags do i even use anymore

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santsukii · 2 months

Text

ᯓ✿ hold your breath

ˋ°•*⁀➷ my fav hydro characters + pining for you,, sobs,,,AND YES THE NO EYE CONTACT THING IN NILOUS IS A REAL THING I USED TO DO THEATER

ˋ°•*⁀➷ kamisato ayato, sangonomiya kokomi, nilou, furina x gn! reader

°˖➴ listening to: ハルカ - yoasobi

₊˚ fluffy shit, food mentions, friends to lovers for kokomi, technically unrequited love

as the bitter cold winter melts into a pleasant spring, the head of the kamisato clan found himself falling for you. the sakura bloomed once more as they always did as the days got a little warmer, but the dreamlike weather only seemed to remind him of you nowadays. ayato always considered himself to be somewhat of a loner behind closed doors, never truly able to confide much in any one person. yet, you just turned his whole world upside down the second you became a part of it.

on his lips was the pleasant taste of milk tea, a drink that preparing seems to remind ayato of you as well. the recipe you had given him that added a few ingredients was much better anyway, or maybe it was just because it was your recipe. it’s such a simple matter, but it’s one that meant the whole world. everything from your smile to your eyes set his heart on fire. it’s certainly a sight to see the trusted head of the kamisato clan hiding his blushing face when you’re around, becoming clumsy and nervous.

rumors spread like wildfire among socialites, that much is obvious. ayato just couldn’t help but wish the things whispered about you and him were true, it’s all the same meaningless gossip anyway. the world just wouldn’t have it that way, dooming his feelings to be left unexpressed unless he got the courage to confess for himself.

you were her best friend, someone who helped shoulder the burden of the stress of running a society. the divine priestess was a mess behind closed doors, but it adds up in the best way. holding your hand until hers falls off, kokomi wished she could just tell you that she loved you. yet, she didn’t want to ruin your relationship. the poor girl is already stressed enough without the worry of tarnishing the bond you had with her.

those three words she dreaded so much were such a waste of time when said time could be spent on much more important matters. you knew the hints she had been dropping, pretending not to believe the things she said. it’s only in that way she’s feeling so down lately, but nothing seems to change.

maybe she’d confess during a quiet nighttime walk on the beach. the sound of the crashing waves gave her strength to say the dreaded three words she wished she’d never have to say to someone who might not feel the same.

she nearly froze when she saw you in the crowd during one of her performances. beneath the colorful lights and melodic tune she moved her body to, she was just a girl helplessly in love. the world just fell away when she saw you standing there, watching intently. it’s a rule for performers to not make eye contact with anyone in the crowd so as to not break immersion, but she couldn’t help but look you in the eye as her smile grew.

nilou’s heart was pounding so fast it was as if it were barely beating at all. such beautiful colors swirling around her as she danced, the performer was so infatuated with the idea of you watching her that it felt as if you were the only person in the crowd. at least to her, you were the only one who mattered.

every breath she had taken, every second of her life had led to this moment. time had brought her heart to you, and nilou wouldn’t trade it for the world. just the way you looked at her had her mesmerized, something inescapable. not that she would mind even one bit.

furina de fontaine isn’t exactly one to hide her feelings. tea parties with the former god have always been fun, but more so now that she’s free to express herself. the bittersweet taste of tea in her mouth is familiar, reminiscent of the bittersweet love she feels for you. the sun’s rays beamed through the open window, letting in a refreshingly cool breeze that cut through the warm spring air.

just like sunshine, you were always there to brighten up her day. like the desserts she found herself enjoying, you were so sweet! you reminded furina of all her favorite things, so it would be absurd for her not to love you with her entire being. the only thing that didn’t make her think of you was the bitterness of the tea she drank. sometimes she enjoyed it without anything to sweeten it, the bitterness balancing out the sweet of her desserts.

her love for you wasn’t all sweet. sometimes she finds herself wishing she could tell you how she felt, but her low self esteem prevented it. what if you didn’t feel the same? what if you only thought of her as a friend?

#i had huge writer’s block writing this #mafu.fic #genshin x reader #genshin x you #kamisato ayato x you #kamisato ayato x reader #kamisato ayato #sangonomiya kokomi x reader #sangonomiya kokomi x you #sangonomiya kokomi #nilou x reader #nilou x you #nilou genshin #furina x reader #furina x you #furina de fontaine

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fluentmoviequoter · 5 months

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Accidental CI

Pairing: David "Deacon" Kay x fem!reader

Summary: When your employer's name comes up in a case, your best friend Deacon calls to ask for your help. He leads you into a dangerous situation, and you come out as more than friends.

Warnings: r works an unspecified corporate job, mentions weapon trafficking and guns, threats, mostly fluff!

Word Count: 3.1k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“Hi, Deac,” you greet as you open the door.

“How was work?” he asks.

“It was fine. My boss forgot to start a software update last night so we didn’t have computer access until after lunch.”

“So, you got paid to sit there and do nothing?”

“Which isn’t that much different than most days,” you tease. “What about you? Any crazy calls?”

You lead Deacon into your kitchen, and his smile widens when he sees dinner waiting on your counter. He pulls you into a quick hug before telling you about his day at work.

“No injuries?” you ask softly.

“No injuries,” he assures. “What about you; any paper cuts that need tending to?”

“Just mental injuries for me. Our financial statements aren’t aligning like they should and if it’s not fixed by the next audit, someone’s getting in trouble.”

“What do you think caused it?”

“Oversight or adding the same bill twice, I’d guess. But I think we should talk about something more exciting than my future IRS investigation.”

“Then let’s talk about that amazing dinner over there and I’ll remind you that Luca wants to have a cooking competition with you.”

Deacon has been your best friend since he moved in next door. You also harbor an ever-growing crush on him. When you saw him climb out of the moving truck the first day, you knew you wanted to be close. He’s got a stressful job, so if you can give him a break and a friend, that’s what you’ll do.

Deacon watches the screen in the situation room as Hondo explains the corporate espionage turned weapon trafficking case. It's a strange move, going from stealing trade secrets to transporting illegal weapons across borders and into areas with strict gun control laws. Metro found a lot of evidence, but when they located the weapons supply in their prime suspect’s corporate office, they called in 20 Squad.

“Wait, go back. Who’s the suspect?” Deacon asks.

His eyes search the monitor as Hondo returns to a page of surveillance photos.

“Elwin Dupree. You know him?” Hondo responds.

“Not personally, but I know someone who works for him.”

“CI?” Chris guesses.

“No. She might be willing to help, though.”

“Call her,” Hondo says.

Hicks adds, “Otherwise, we’re going in blind. Metro has intel but it’s not enough to avoid an ambush.”

Deacon nods and walks out of the room. He presses a contact from his favorites list before raising his phone to his ear.

“Remind me why we work here?” your desk neighbor, whom you lovingly call Nola, says as she sits across from you.

“Because the pay is good… and we’re desperate,” you offer, smiling as you accept your favorite drink.

“May I remind you that Dupree is an idiot who can’t even remember what he asks us to do?”

“Just smile and go with it, Nola, it’s the easiest way to handle it.”

“The man called me into his office yesterday, and then didn’t know why I was there,” she whispers.

“That’s probably a good thing for you. Considering your nickname is based off of your reply of no; lazy.”

“I am lazy! So, I don’t like to do things. He can fire me whenever he wants.”

You roll your eyes and prepare to reply but are interrupted by your cell phone ringing. You apologize to Nola before you answer it.

“Hey, it’s me,” Deacon says on the other end of the line.

“Indeed, it is. What’s going on?” you reply.

“How do you know something is going on?”

“It’s mid-morning on a weekday. And you never call me.”

“I call you all the time!” Deacon argues.

You laugh before you say, “Not when you’re at work.”

“Okay, fine, you’re right. Listen, we’re working on something, and your boss’s name came up.”

“Dupree?” you inquire. “Why?”

“I can’t tell you exactly what we’re looking into, but Hondo and Hicks wanted to know if you’d be willing to help us.”

“Of course. Tell me what to do,” you agree.

“Can you come down here?”

“Uh, yeah,” you answer. You open the calendar on your computer and add, “I can spare an hour and a half, is that enough time?”

“Absolutely. Thank you,” Deacon says.

“Anything for you.”

You hang up and gather your things before standing.

“Where are you off to? Please tell me you’re leaving to go on a date with the hot neighbor you always talk about,” Nola whispers.

“Not today. There was a slight mishap for some of our paperwork. I have to run to another office and get everything sorted out,” you lie. “I’ll have my cell if you need anything.”

“Dodging bullets left and right, aren’t you? Go ahead, I’ll watch your phone and fill in Dupree if he notices you’re gone.”

“Thanks, Nola.”

When you park outside the station, your thoughts begin spiraling. You sit in your seat and wonder if you made the right decision. Will you be in Deacon’s way or be too distracted by him to even help? What if something happens to him while you’re with him? What if he-

A tap on your window draws you from your questions. You turn your head and see Deacon looking at you through the glass. You send him a small smile as he opens your door and bends to look at you. His head tilts to this side, and when he lowers to a squat, his brown eyes distract you as he looks up at you.

“You okay? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he says gently.

“No, I want to. Just- I was thinking too much, I guess,” you reply.

Deacon nods and stands before offering his hand to help you out of your seat. He closes the door and ensures it’s locked before moving his hand to your back to lead you inside.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Hondo,” Hondo says as you enter.

You shake Hondo’s hand and introduce yourself as you follow him further into the station. He doesn’t waste any time as he begins explaining as much as he can about how your boss is involved in the case they’re working.

“We’d like to send you in the get additional details on the office and any other information you can find,” Hondo says. “We’ve got basic floor plans, but we need insider info.”

“She can’t go in alone,” Deacon argues. “We don’t know what he has in that office. If she starts asking questions and he gets suspicious-“

You cut Deacon off by laying a hand on his shoulder and asking, “What if you go in with me? It wouldn’t be that hard for me to lie about who you are; Dupree doesn’t know most of the people who work in the building. Plus, you know what to look for better than I do.”

Hondo looks at Deacon and waits for his reply. You feel Deacon sigh against your hand before agreeing to go into the office with you.

“There’s an employee entrance without metal detectors, but you have to swipe a keycard,” you explain. “They’ll know if you piggyback with me.”

“Our techs can make him a keycard,” Hondo assures. “If you have yours, they can copy parts of it.”

You nod and pass your card to Hondo. He turns and gives it to a passing officer with a few short instructions. Deacon pats your arm as he leaves to change; his uniform isn’t business casual, but he said he'd find something more fitting.

“20 Squad is going to be close by,” Hondo begins. “Deacon can say a word and we’ll be inside, but if you need help and get separated from Deacon, try to get to a window. Signaling for help is easiest with this; just keep it in your pocket or your hand and press the button if you need us.”

You accept the small device and slide it into your pocket. It’s invisible, and you nod as Hondo reassures you everything will be okay.

“I know you can’t tell me what exactly Dupree is doing, but you’re going to catch him, right?” you ask softly.

“Absolutely. Nobody can run from S.W.A.T.”

You scan your keycard and wait for Deacon to do the same before opening the door. The employee entrance is on the side of the building, and you smooth your hands over your hips nervously. When you feel the device Hondo gave you, you relax slightly.

“We’ll walk to my desk, look at a few papers, and then go in?” you suggest as Deacon gestures for you to enter.

“Sounds good,” he agrees.

“The suit looks good,” you mumble as you walk toward the elevator.

Deacon chuckles as the elevator door opens, and you smile as he shakes his head at your flattery. The elevator is quiet, and as you wait to arrive on your floor, you take a few deep breaths. Deacon’s hand finds your lower back, and he rubs small, comforting circles before the door opens.

“Still working on the paperwork issue?” Nola asks when you reach your desk.

“Yeah, we are. This is Ryan from the Santa Monica branch,” you say.

Nola’s eyes narrow at you before she looks at Deacon’s hand. He’s close to you, like always, but you don’t understand her look. You raise your brows, but she only shrugs before looking back at her computer.

“Was it this one?” you ask Deacon.

He takes the blank form from your hand and nods. “Yes, this is the one.”

You return the paper to its rightful place on your desk before leading Deacon down another hallway. Nola’s reaction confused you at first, yet you’re not surprised when Deacon gently grabs your hip to stop you in the hallway.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s fine. Just stay calm and remember our covers. Like you said, Dupree won’t know any difference,” Deacon soothes. “And the team’s waiting for our signal if we need them.”

You nod, and Deacon’s hands raise to your shoulders as he drops his chin to look into your eyes.

“You got this,” he promises.

“I need to discuss an urgent matter with Mr. Dupree,” you inform his secretary. “This is Mr. Ryan Davidson from the Santa Monica branch. There have been some discrepancies with paperwork submitted to their office, which needs Mr. Dupree’s immediate attention.”

His secretary raises the receiver of her desk phone and whispers into it. You turn to look at Deacon, and he tilts his head to the left to signal you to stay calm and wait.

“You can go on in,” the secretary says as she lowers the phone.

Deacon opens the door for you, and you step inside first.

“Hello,” Mr. Dupree greets. He doesn’t pretend to remember your name, you notice. “I heard there’s an issue with some paperwork?”

“Yes, sir,” Deacon says. “I’m Ryan Davidson with the Santa Monica office and we’ve been having issues; receiving incomplete or incorrect paperwork from this branch.”

“My sincerest apologies, Ryan. If you don’t mind, use that laptop there and sign into your account while I bring mine up. We’ll get this sorted.”

You stand back as Deacon walks to the table at the back of the office and opens the laptop. Mr. Dupree didn’t shake his hand, ask for identification, or take other proper steps before jumping to help. It’s suspicious, but probably not what Deacon and his team need.

“What kind of incorrect information have you seen?” Mr. Dupree asks. You open your mouth to answer, and he adds, “Ryan?”

“Financial statements that aren’t matching previous months, for one. Most likely an oversight or adding the same bill twice. Nothing too extreme, just something we need sorted before the end-of-year audits,” Deacon answers.

You raise your eyebrows in surprise at his response. He practically repeated a complaint you shared during your last dinner together.

“Very well. I don’t know why the system is moving so slowly,” Dupree responds. He moves his hand under his desk as Deacon types.

You watch Dupree because Deacon’s team is getting him the access he needs. When you see the handle of a gun gripped in Dupree’s hand, you call, “Gun!” and drop to the floor just before he shoots above your head.

Deacon pulls his own weapon and points it at Dupree as he demands, “Put the gun down. I’m Sergeant Kay, L.A.P.D. S.W.A.T.”

As Deacon speaks, you slowly press your back against the side of Dupree’s desk, where he can’t see you. Deacon’s eyes are on Dupree, but you watch Deacon because you trust him to keep you safe.

“I could put it down,” Dupree says. “But if I angle it like this and pull the trigger, wouldn’t it hit your little friend?”

Deacon glances at you quickly, and you lock eyes before you shift away from the oversized desk.

“One more time: drop the gun,” Deacon repeats.

You can’t see Dupree, but you clap your hands over your ears as you hear two shots. Everything goes quiet, and you lean forward slowly to look for Deacon. He kneels before you and gently pulls your hands away from your head. You let him move you before surging forward to hug him. He welcomes you into his arms as footsteps echo in the hallway outside.

“It’s okay. We got him,” Deacon promises.

You nod against Deacon and allow him to help you stand. Deacon keeps you angled away from Dupree’s desk, and you’re happy to avoid looking.

“Did you get everything you need?” you ask quietly as Street and Luca lead a paramedic inside.

“We did. Are you okay?”

Deacon lays a hand on your shoulder, and his thumb presses gently into your tense muscles as he looks into your eyes.

“Get her out of here. Hondo said you can take the rest of the day. Maybe she can practice for the competition,” Luca calls.

“I think you need the practice more than me,” you reply without turning.

Luca laughs as Deacon wraps an arm around your shoulders and leads you out of the office. He takes you back to your desk to get your things, and Nola rushes to hug you when you enter the open area.

“I heard the shots and was so worried!” she exclaims. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” you promise.

“Then I need you to do something. Go home and ask your neighbor out. Don’t wait too long,” she says.

You nod and return to Deacon’s side. He heard everything from where he was standing, yet doesn’t comment as he helps you into the passenger seat of his car. Once you’re on the road, he fills the silence by asking you questions about what you will cook for your competition with Luca. You know he’s trying to distract you from what happened, and you appreciate it.

Back at the station, you sign some paperwork to receive CI benefits before walking to Deacon’s side. He offers to drive you home and keep you company, which you happily accept. You never like leaving Deacon and don’t want to be alone tonight.

“I waited too long,” Deacon murmurs while walking you out.

You stop and turn to face him as you ask, “For what?”

“What your friend said. I waited too long to ask you out.”

You smile and slide your hand into his. “Did you know that Nola looked at us like that because you were standing really close to me?" Deacon shrugs, and you explain, “I never shut up about you, Deac. I’m in love with you, so she was confused about why I was standing so close to another man.”

“Never?” Deacon repeats playfully.

“You didn’t wait too long, Deac,” you promise.

“I didn’t?”

“Not if you take your chance right now.”

Deacon looks around quickly before yelling, “Hicks! Did you file it yet?”

“No; I’m busy, Deacon,” Hicks answers.

“Can you make her Hondo’s CI?”

Hicks looks between the two of you and rolls his eyes. “Yes, I can.”

When Deacon turns back to you, he doesn’t give you time to speak before he asks, “Will you go out with me?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” you answer.

Your smile grows to match Deacon’s, but he makes it disappear when he pulls you in and kisses you. The sound of clapping makes you open your eyes as you pull back. Hondo leads 20 Squad in a round of applause, and you bury your face in Deacon’s chest to hide your grin and burning embarrassment.

“My CI’s never end up like this,” Hondo jokes.

“Pretty good timing, though, wasn’t it?” Deacon asks as he wraps his arms around you.

You stand wordlessly from the couch and walk past Deacon. He turns to watch you as you enter your bathroom and close the door. It only takes a moment for him to decide to follow you.

“Are you okay?” Deacon asks from outside the door. “And don’t just say you’re fine. We both know you’re not.”

You open the door and lean against the vanity as he walks in. “I feel bad that you had to shoot Dupree. I know he’s fine and he’ll recover, pay for him crimes, and everything. But you probably wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t there.”

“Don’t think like that. If he had refused to drop the gun or fired again, I would have stopped him. Whether you were there or not. The only thing that was different was how fast I decided to do it; he was threatening you, but that didn’t affect my reaction itself.”

You nod, and Deacon places his hands on the vanity, caging you and keeping you close. “Don’t carry that guilt around,” he requests. “It gets heavy quickly.”

You slip your arms under Deacon’s to circle his waist. Because of your position, you look up at him and ask, “Could I have another kiss to help me overcome all of this guilt?”

Deacon laughs as his hand raises to rub your back. “Anything for my accidental CI.”

“I’m Hondo’s CI,” you remind him.

“But I’m the one that gets to kiss you, so who has the better timing?”

You let your kiss answer the question, and when Deacon pulls you against him to be even closer, you know that the wait was worth it. Though you probably won’t agree to go into the office of a weapon trafficker with him again, you will always be ready to help him when he asks and comfort him when he can’t. Despite how much you loved Deacon when you thought you could only be friends, you feel more love now that you know he feels the same.

#hanna writes✯#david deacon kay x reader #deacon kay x reader #david kay x reader #deacon kay fluff #david deacon kay #deacon kay #fem!reader

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luvendiary · 2 years

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Hello!!! Imagine hiccup telling reader "I'm in love with you" / "Marry me" out of blue after a stare down (can be established relationship or not muahahaha)

a/n: here it is at last! i had such a tough time with this one, and i’m sorry for the delay. i apologize for any historical or plot inaccuracy. ly! i hope you like it! requests are open.

Weakness

Being a viking was tough, especially if you were a girl. You had always been smart, but sometimes smart didn’t cut it, especially if you were a girl. You had to also put a tough front, and that sometimes meant being cold or acting as if nothing really bothered you. When you had started to train with the dragon riders, you had to be rough, as to not be taken advantage of.

“Don’t let anyone trade you a cat for a deer Y/N,” you father had told you when you were just a girl. Don’t be weak, don’t let anyone take advantage of you.

So you made sure no one ever did, you built up your walls and never allowed yourself to feel weak. You had a reputation to uphold.

The first time Hiccup joined your training, you had felt the need to join in on the others taunting, it made you internally scream realizing how weak he was. On the other hand, your heart felt moved by him, you soon realized that both reactions were due to the same feeling: you wanted him to be strong, you didn’t want anyone to take advantage of him.

So you stood up for him.

“Is this some kind a joke to you?!” Astrid screamed at him.

Hiccup laid on the floor, after failing to successfully fight-off the Deadly Nadder.

“Our parent’s war is about to become ours!-”

“Enough Astrid,” you said, walking down the hall and sheathing your daggers. “Give him a break.”

She scoffed in disbelief, as she glanced down at Hiccup with disdain. She then turned his back to him and approached you instead.

“Weakness is not something to be proud of Y/N,” Astrid whispered harshly before walking away.

You bit your tongue and remained stoic in your manner.

The voice from the boy you had just defended broke you from your trance, “Uh-, thank you…You really didn’t have to, I had it sorted.”

You glared down at him and just stomped away.

=-=

Over the years you and Hiccup had grown closer. When you caught him sneaking Toothless into the village you had freaked out, but decided against saying anything up until you could corner him and confront him about it. So that’s exactly what you did, to which in return he told you to meet him in the forest, where he took you on a beautiful ride at sunset -against your will, might you add.

You realized he was not weak, but rather different. He was strong in a way you could never be, and that stung. However, you had to learn to live with it. If you had to be weaker than someone, you was glad that someone was Hiccup.

Hiccup was like a vine creeping up the walls you had worked to hard to build, and you weren’t totally against it. It felt nice.

So you allowed yourself to bask in the happiness he made you feel, but nothing more. Although seeing him made you want to spend every waking moment in his company, you had decided that it would just make you gullible. You could not risk the chance that he would take advantage of you. This was for your own protection. You had to be strong.

=-=

When Hiccup pitched the idea of the Edge to his father, you had been there to back him up so it was only fitting that you two were the responsible ones to solve any strategical problem that came with it. While Astrid might have been a fantastic addition to your team, and she would’ve certainly been helpful on these sort of mission, she had her hands full with the dragon-riding academy she had started back at Berk. And that’s how you had ended up all night in Hiccup’s house trying to come up with an anti-fire contraption after Snoutlout’s dragon had burned yours down.

“Okay, what if we have a wheel, with buckets on it that collect water, just ready for the go,” you said. You were sprawled on the floor, staring at the ceiling as you fidgeted with one of the parts from Hiccup’s prosthetic leg.

“That would be a good idea, but us having to go for the buckets will take some time, which means that the fire would have already spread,” the brown-haired boy replied. “We need something we can pull on, or something. Something that’s already set up, and available in case of any accidents.”

“Pull…Ruff loves pulling Tuff’s hair, he always gets so mad” you said, a giggle escaping your lips in your light state of delirium.

Moments like these were special to Hiccup, he could see who you were without having to put up a front.

He chuckled and glanced down at you with false disdain, “Focus Y/N/N!”

You sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, still in a light fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry, i’m sorry…it’s just been a long day,” you replied with a sleep-ridden smile.

Hiccup took you in, sitting comfortably on his floor, hair messy and a drowsy grin adorning your lips. You looked breathtaking.

“I better get going, we’ll solve this tomorrow,” you said, standing up and gathering the things you could save from the fire.

“Wait,” Hiccup retaliated, “where are you going to sleep?”

“The meeting room,” you responded simply.

“The hell you are, you’ll freeze in there.”

“It’s not like we haven’t spent the night on Glacier Island Hiccup, it’s not a big deal.”

He stared down at you, a serious expression on his face, “You’ll stay here. It’s and order, as future Chief of Berk.”

You didn’t shy away from his stare, and instead met him halfway, “Good thing you’re not Chief yet, and we’re not in Berk.”

“You’re very stubborn, you know that?” he said without breaking eye-contact.

“So I’ve been told.”

“You should probably do something about that”.

“That wouldn’t make me a very good viking now, would it?”

“I think it would make you a fantastic viking”. He said, as he slowly approached you, a teasing smirk plastered on his face.

“Maybe, but a lot less fun too. Besides, who would put Snotlout in his place?” You retaliated, a shit-eating grin, challenging his.

“We can manage”.

“Oh, but I don’t think we can-“.

“I’m in love with you.”

You froze, and stumbled backwards slightly. You saw Hiccup’s expression change, his teasing demeanor became more sullen, as if he had realized what he had just said.

“What?” you uttered in disbelief.

Hiccup sighed and forced himself to not shy away.

“I’m in love with you Y/N, so I will not let you sleep out there alone and in the cold.”

You remained silent. Had you allowed all of this to go too far? You shook your head, trying to deny what you had just heard and fumbled with the door handle before running out into the pouring midnight rain.

“Y/N,” you heard Hiccup said from behind you. He was calm, and had a slight look of disappointment. “Come back inside please, you’re going to get sick.”

“Hiccup, you don’t… this is not…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said as he stepped out into the rain. “I know what I feel, it doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate. I just want you to be safe.”

“Why?!” you said in a slighter angrier tone than you had meant to. Everything was going so fast.

“Because I love you!” he screamed back.

“I don’t know how to love!” you replied, frustration evident in your voice.

Silence fell over both of you. You could see that your confession was something he was not expecting. The rain fell over both of you, as if stripping away every facade you had put so much effort in building.

Your rejection of weakness made you reject love, and now that you were doing exactly that you laid bare, in the weakest state you had ever found yourself in.

“I can teach you how,” he said, breaking the silence. It was merely but a whisper, but it felt as if he was shouting it to the world.

“W-What?”

“I can teach you, if you’d let me.”

Your eyes went wide, as you nodded your head hesitantly.

He smiled, and slowly approached you before carefully wrapping your arms around you, as if you were a fragile thing. You were okay with it for now. You were okay with being taken care of. You were okay with being held. And you were okay with being weak, because it was in this weakness were you found strength.

#hiccup haddock x reader #how to train a dragon 2 #httyd2 #httyd #hiccup #how to train your dragon #hiccup x reader #hiccup httyd #hiccup haddock #hiccup horrendous haddock the 3rd

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howtodolife · 10 months

Text

LATE NIGHT SUBTLETIES AND A MILLION MORE CONTROVERSIES

Summary: Reader wakes up at night and doesn't find jungkook beside her but instead in the kitchen, cooking.

Fem!reader × Jungkook

Warnings/Tags: pure fluff, hurt/comfort, insecurity, mentions of stretchmarks, manhandling (A bit?), oc is nervous and restless, she's so in love it makes her jittery and overwhelmed 😭, jk being an absolute sweetheart, REASSURANCE, bit suggestive in the middle but nothing happens, they're so in love it hurts 😭😭💗 (pls tell me if you find any more warnings, I'll add them!)

Writer's note: why is it so hard to write kiss scenes‼️?? it's my second fic, It originally started as a pure fluff imagine but I couldn't help it and made it a bit sad, so now it fits into the hurt/comfort trope more 😭😭 I'm not very happy with how it turned out because it feels kinda personal and I pondered not posting it but here I am. I hope you guys like it! Also it gets better in the end👍😭

"It must be midnight," you thought to yourself as your eyes drifted open, adjusting to the darkness around you. You reached out to the other side of the bed, hoping to find security and warmth, hoping to find Jungkook—the one you sought for love and a sense of belonging. Surprisingly, all you could find was an empty mattress and bedsheets, as well as pillows cold from being unused. Quickly getting up, panic flooded in for a short moment. "Jungkook," you called out, receiving no answer. You walked to the living room, eyes searching for him, and that was when Jungkook caught your sight. He was in the kitchen, cooking god-knows-what with his back turned toward you. The room had a purplish hue due to the dimmed lights, and the atmosphere felt cold with the AC blasting at full temperature. Jungkook turned toward you, hearing your footsteps, giving you a slight smile that had a hint of slyness. You walked closer to him. You felt Jungkook's hand snake around your waist, and then strong tattooed arms lifting you up onto the cold marble countertop. You squirmed due to the sudden movement, gripping onto his shoulders for stability. "Oh my god," you exclaimed, earning Jungkook a chuckle. You rolled your eyes at him. "Hey, c'mon, it's fun!"

"Sure", you retorted. "Besides, why are you making ramen at 2:46 a.m", you mentioned, hitting his head lightly.

"I'm insomniac", stated Jungkook matter of factly. "Also I was bored since it's late and had nothing better to do, so naturally i decided to cook"

I tilted my head at him and hummed in response. He looked beyond beautiful right now. Sharing these little moments together felt so domestic yet special; I'd trade anything for them. Jungkook gave me a quick glance before I felt one of his hands on my thigh, pulling me closer to him so that he could place kisses all over my face and neck. I grinned at that, placing my hands in his hair.

"You're never going to give me a warning, are you?", you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

He chuckled "And miss out on these reactions? Nah, I'm good".

You wrapped your arms and legs around him, taking his presence in as much as you could. You would never get enough of it, of him. You wanted to stare into his brown bambi eyes forever, and even that wouldn't be enough time. You felt his hand travelling up and down your legs, Jungkook could feel the dents made by the stretchmarks on your legs here and there. You tensed a bit as you felt the warmth of his hand lingering there a bit more longer than the other areas, afraid he might judge you or find them weird but it was evident in his eyes that he couldn't care less. Jungkook's face reflected nothing but the feelings of love, respect and infatuation he felt for you. You felt the cold metal of his rings on your thighs as the grip of his hand strengthened, his head shifting closer to you. You breathed in his scent, shifting slightly closer to him. You gulped nervously, trying to calm your nerves down, heart beating loud in your chest at Jungkook being so close to you, the amount of intimacy you were sharing. You'd experienced it a countless number of times, but it still made you feel all restless and timid. "You can touch me, y'know", he chuckled, and then you lost it. Completely.

"God, I KNOW, its just that the feelings I have for you is so overwhelming and intense plus I don't know what the fuck to do with them. Sometimes I wanna jump off a building because of these and I'm always scared if I say or do something wrong or weird. It just holds me back from doing so much. I have so much love for you and it's unreal and crazy but you'll never get to know it because guess what, I'm too fucking embarrassed to do anything", you rambled and put your hand in your head, feeling upset, guilty and a bit disappointed.

You felt him grab your wrists and pull your hands from your face, holding them. He seemed to be taking in the whole of what you said and understand it in depth instead if coming up with a sudden reply. He scooted his head closer to you, as if trying to emphasize what he was about to say "nothing you do comes off as weird or out of place to me, understand? I love you, I love you, I love YOU, I can't stress this enough. You can never make me tired or upset with you, I love all of your little habits and mannerisms and i'll memorise all of them to take care of you and make you feel safe and wanted. Also, holy shit, that's a lot to carry all at once, Y/N. I don't want you to feel so pressurised and stressed with me, love. I'll do my best to not let these feeling get to you. Besides, I can recognize how much you love me by all your little gestures and the things you say" You felt him grab your chin and turn your attention towards him. "I love you, okay? Don't doubt that". You felt his lips brush against yours, making your heart jump, it was the gentlest of kisses, without the desire for something another. It intensified slowly, his hands grabbing your waist, pulling you even closer, making you his body press against yours. Although it was without the anticipation of anything other than this moment you were sharing, not with his hands under your shirt or tangled up in your bra straps. It was one filled with love and innocence, one that was unwavering. You suddenly felt his lips part from yours, a move unlikely for him to do. But then it dawned on you - the food. He reached for the spatula in a sudden movement, trying to do something to make the food edible, at least, though it didnt look like anything could be done.

"Fuck, no, no no. Not the goddamn ramen. I really don't want to eat it burnt, ah" Jungkook conceded.

He held his head in his hands, sighing in a defeated manner. You felt bad for him, though you couldn't help but burst out laughing. He narrowed his eyes at you.

"What, you asshole. There's nothing funny about this".

You raised you hands as if to signify that you were not at fault. "Hey, it's your fault. You should've been more careful and not shifted your attention elsewhere."

"Okay well, nobody told you to wake up at 3 AM to come here and distract me, it's all your fault" Jungkook accused.

You let out a sigh, jumping down from the counter "Just order in food and we'll clean up the mess together"

"Absolutely not, your "cleaning up" never ends well. I'm just left out here all by my own" he teased, fake crying.

You gasped in a dramatic way, half-joking, half-bickering."That's so mean, you absolute shithead. I would clean it up just to spite you and prove you wrong, but y'know what? I'm too tired. Good 4 me though, I'm saved from work" You shrugged.

"Just admit you can't do it" he retorted, putting the dishes in the sink, smiling the whole time.

"Not in my life, never."

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torukmaktoskxawng · 1 year

Text

tsamsiyu ta'em - they're closing in

Masterlist - part eleven

Summary: Kayla receives an update on Spider's whereabouts. Everything is beginning to come to a head and the tension is thick in the air.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 7k+

Warnings: canon-compliant, mature language, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, time skips, I'm trying to hurry up and get to the good parts so bear with me, fluff, angst, etc.

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully

Seeing Neytiri laugh is now a rare sight and an honor if one is on the receiving end of it. Nowadays, the Na'vi woman struggles with smiling unless she's with her children, while her eyes cast over the sea far beyond the atoll wall, thinking of the forest and feeling immensely homesick. Living here, among the Metkayina, she's found herself going through the motions, day after day, wishing for nothing more than to find Quaritch and kill him so she and her family could go back home where they belong. Very rarely is she able to actually enjoy the beauty of Awa'atlu without aching for the familiarity of her home clan, but that is why her family helps at this low point in her life.

Her mate and his sister are no exceptions. As a gentle storm falls over the village one afternoon, the Sully children find themselves running off with their new friends. Tsireya, Rotxo, and Ao'nung had promised to show them a network of pools deep within the jungle that rises into a larger, beautiful, bioluminescent lake when storms roll in. It was a well-known spot for reef kids to escape to when they had free time so of course, the former forest children wanted to see this small sanctuary for themselves. With the children gone, Neytiri, Jake, and Kayla find themselves alone together as dinner rolls around, practically stuck in the Sully marui as the storm continues to drop steady, soothing rain against the roof of their new home.

The storm muffled any noise outside and only accentuated Neytiri's laugh as it echoed throughout the marui. She was intently listening to a story Jake was telling about his and Makayla's childhood. Occasionally, Kayla would pitch in on the story to either correct her brother or to add to the silly tale. It was a story about the time a bunch of neighborhood kids gathered on the rooftops one night back on Earth, trading sugar sweets while trying to leap across rooftop to rooftop since the buildings perfectly lined up in a row down the street. Jake recounted this story as a fond memory, even smiling to himself as he told it, but Kayla teasingly reminded him that he and one other kid ended up breaking their arms pulling off such a stupid stunt and Tommy had never let him live it down.

Neytiri was fanning the flames of the hearth as she cooked dinner, in the middle of laughing at the bashful expression on her husband's face when a large figure came into view of the marui entrance, shadowed by the dark and heavy rain coming from outside. Almost immediately, Neytiri's smile fell and both Jake and Kayla had to turn around to see what she was staring at.

It was Tonowari, standing strong against the rain like it didn't even phase him, his flyaway hairs now stuck to his skin, curling around and framing his face. The olo'eyktan bore a solemn expression, his gaze heavy as his ears lowered faintly. Whatever thoughts running through his mind as he pointedly stared at all three of his guests, it was grim. He ducked back outside and waited there. Jake, Kayla, and Neytiri immediately stood and joined their new clan leader outside, the rain immediately greeting them as they stepped out of their pod.

Jake already had a sinking feeling as to whatever news Tonowari might have, but he desperately clung to hope that it was something else, preferably that his sons were getting into trouble again. He couldn't voice this hope as the strength to do so left his words to sound soft and worried, "What's wrong?"

"Sky People," Tonowari glances away from the ocean to peer back at the forest Na'vi, "They're looking for you, Jakesully. South. They have a human boy who speaks Na'vi."

Jake turns his gaze to Kayla, who meets his eyes immediately as they share a voiceless thought. Kayla's eyes had hardened at the news, determination setting in like stone as the happiness she had previously felt while getting Neytiri to laugh quickly faded away.

Jake turned back to Tonowari, his own expression grim and resigned, "Did they kill anybody?"

"Not yet."

Toruk Makto visibly relaxes, inwardly relieved as he shares a knowing look with Neytiri. Tonowari glanced between the pair as he continued, "They threaten, but the villagers will not tell them where you are. By my order."

Movement out of Jake's peripheral drives his attention away from the village chief. Turning his head, the former marine watched his sister dart back into the marui without so much of a warning. Jake had enough manners to quickly thank Tonowari before ducking back into the pod, only to stop in the doorway at the sight of Kayla quickly gathering his own weapons and inspecting the ammo.

His ears flatten, "Woah, where are you going?"

"I'm going after them." She continues cataloging the weapons, even taking out Jake's rifle, and is pleasantly surprised that it's been routinely cleaned. Old habits really do die hard, even for Jake.

He makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat before walking fully into the marui, "Alone? Against Quaritch? Are you crazy?"

Kayla, peers up at him, unphased, "Perfectly sane, why do you ask?"

"You can't take on a group of highly trained soldiers in avatar bodies all on your own. You have one gun and one banshee."

By now, Neytiri had walked back into the marui and Tonowari returned to his spot, looming over the doorway, though Neytiri had beckoned the chief to step further into her home to receive shelter from the storm. The Sully siblings have yet to even notice this exchange as they continue to argue back and forth.

"And Spider is just one kid, all alone, likely believing we abandoned him because we haven't rescued him after months of nothing!" Kayla snarled back.

"And how do we know Spider isn't willingly helping Quaritch?"

"And what if he isn't? Are you just going to let a child die based on assumptions? You've known Spider his whole life, far longer than I've known him. You tell me."

"It's a suicide mission, Kayla."

"The Recoms don't know me. They won't see me coming."

Tonowari watched as Jake struggled to come up with more arguments, but his mind visibly appeared as though it was running in circles, just behind his eyes as they were darting all over the place, trying to come up with a stronger rebuttal. Tonowari decided to aid the man he respected and took a step forward, even surprising Kayla enough to stop gathering weapons as he spoke, "You are not Metkayina yet. You don't know these waters and there are more dangers out there beyond the reef, not just the Sky People."

Her yellow eyes briefly widen as they peer up to meet the chieftain's blue ones, surprised that Tonowari was backing Jake up, then they shrink back and Kayla takes a moment to shift until her posture is straighter and her expression more formal. She nodded stiffly before finally opening her mouth to respond, and when she eventually did so, it was still a little more hesitant than she wanted it to be, "You're right. I'm not Metkayina. I'm not even Na'vi. So with all due respect, Tonowari, you are not ma olo'eyktan."

His lips tighten together as if from saying anything as she continues to stare him down, "I'm still a dreamwalker outcast who can come and go as she pleases. And I, for one, would rather not let your people risk their lives for our war. Maybe you can ask them to do so, but I can't. Spider is my responsibility. I owe that kid a lot and neither you nor anyone else can tell me to stand down and do nothing," something in her eyes changed and suddenly she had a hard time looking Tonowari in the eye, looking down and remembering the weapons in her hands before moving to pack things up, "So thank you for your hospitality. I owe you a lot, but I gotta go."

Jake steps back into her field of view, leveling her with a look of determination, "Don't make me set my kids on you, Kayla. Don't."

She scoffed, "Oh, please. If anything, they'd want to help me."

"Maybe, but I don't want to be the one to tell them that their aunt went out and got herself and Spider killed. Please don't make me do that."

The marui is reduced to silence, apart from the rain outside. All this Spider talk had rendered Neytiri mute, keeping her jaw tight to refrain from saying anything else that might drive Kayla away. All eyes are on Kayla and she physically feels her skin crawl knowing this. A battle is raging behind her gaze as she only manages to stare at Jake and no one else, before finally she gives in, her posture loosening into a sigh of defeat as she mutters, "... I'll link back to my consciousness tonight and let everyone know about Spider's whereabouts. There's no point in me going back to the forest now that I know the kid is close by. I'll continue my search here."

"Fine," Jake also relents while pointedly glaring at his sister, "But don't tell my kids that. They have enough on their plate. They don't need to go running off just because they know Spider might be closer than they think."

"You really think your kids are that reckless?" When Jake says nothing, Kayla exhales through her nose, "Of course, you do. Because deep down, even you know that they get it from you."

She leaves her brother's weapons where she found them before bidding Neytiri a goodnight. Jake's eyebrows furrow, "Where are you going now?"

"Back to my hammock. 'That okay with you?"

Jake doesn't challenge it, sensing when not to engage depending on the tone in his sister's voice. He let her brush past him without a fuss and didn't even watch her step out into the rain. Tonowari waits until she is out of view before turning back to Toruk Makto and his mate, "I apologize for interrupting your evening. I'll see that your sister returns to her campsite safely."

He leaves only when the pair nods with acknowledgment, gratitude bleeding from their eyes that continue to follow the olo'eyktan when he leaves. It wasn't hard to catch up with Makayla as she was keeping her steps slow to ensure she didn't slip from the drenched pathways. The chief didn't even have to quicken his usual stride, his legs longer than most Na'vi and able to reach Kayla within moments. They walk together silently at first, while Kayla doesn't even appear to realize he is next to her, but he carefully watches her shoulders stiffen to line with her spine and he knows she was aware of his presence, she just didn't care.

The anger was radiating off of her, and the urge to calm her emotions was palpable. As he does for all of his people who come to him for advice, he keeps his voice gentle, "If I had upset you back there--"

"Just--" Shock wasn't a normal emotion for Tonowari, but he found it difficult to ignore when Kayla snapped at him, her tone so harsh he could clearly hear it over the rain. Kayla paused in her steps, stopping in the middle of the beach, the treeline in view, and waving at her in greeting. But she couldn't walk away. Conflicted with her own thoughts, she forced herself to correct her mistake of snapping at Tonowari of all people. She exhaled heavily, her gaze matching the energy that left her body when she gazed back up at the Na'vi man. He sees the defeat from earlier, along with a brewing storm behind it.

Her words were short, "You had no business stepping in back there. Jake and I are fighting our own war with the Sky People, a war that has nothing to do with you and your people. So, please, with as much niceness as I can muster today... stay out of it," she moves her body away from Tonowari, before freezing again and turning back. Her eyes held a furious war of her own as she nearly spat out, "And don't ever try to stroke Jake's ego when he and I fight ever again."

He lowered his head down to meet her gaze, ever so slightly tilting off to the side. Kayla had learned not to be intimated by Tonowari and his towering height a while ago now, and the tilt of his head only told her that he was puzzled. She snarled, a little peeved at what looked like innocence and confusion nestled in the olo'eyktan's face. He clearly didn't deserve her anger, especially since he was chief of the village she currently resided in, and also because he clearly had no idea why she was cross with him. It didn't help that she used words and slang that were not of this world, and it only irritated her further that she wasn't being understood. Knowing that she was behaving like a child, she decided to walk away without another word, tail tucked between her legs, so to speak, and too angry to feel embarrassed just yet.

If she knew he was watching her until she had vanished completely behind the trees, she would never admit it. Even with the trees and shrubbery hiding her away from view, she could still feel his eyes, calculating and burning into her back. She stubbornly kept her gaze forward, head held high despite the cold rain... just in case that man could still somehow see her.

~~~~~~~~~

Going to bed cold, wet, and alone didn't exactly help with Kayla's attitude, and waking up like that only made it worse.

If Jake had the energy to tease her, -not after the night before, there's no way he'd poke that bear- he'd comment playfully that someone must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. It would be a human phrase that he'd have to explain to his children once they'd overhear him, but alas, it wasn't needed when neither Jake nor Kayla spoke to each other the next day and no teasing happened. Kayla felt a little grateful that her arguments with her brother usually left her in blissful silence for at least a short while, but to be left alone was to be left with one's thoughts.

Despite her grumpy start, Kayla's head was still spinning from yesterday's news. Spider was close, closer than she could've ever hoped for. He could be on a ship, circling the islands at this very moment. Max and Norm looked so concerned when she returned to High Camp last night to tell them when she had learned, and it only fueled the fire in her gut. Kayla could easily grab Thena and fly to Spider's rescue... if it wasn't for her brother's words bouncing back in her head and the clear order to stand down like they were still marines. That and Tonowari's warning also loomed over her like a storm cloud, his tight lip only fueling her guilt when she played back all she had said to him out of anger against Jake. By the time she had made it back to her campsite last night, she immediately wanted to turn back around and seek the olo'eyktan out to apologize. She was an adult. It should be easy.

She scoffed to herself when she thought that. Yeah, it should be easy. But not when you're a Sully. Instead of overthinking it anymore, Kayla returned to sharpening arrows. After sharing a mid-day meal with the other Sullys, she decided to find some alone time on the warm rocks peeking out of the water, looming just over the reef. She took this time to inspect the bow and arrows she was trying to create out of whatever supplies she had. While warriors of the Omatikaya make their bows out of the wood of Hometree, Kayla didn't have that here on the island, so she made do with what she had at her disposal. She found the perfect tree, made out of wood that bent easily to her will, but not enough to snap under pressure. For her first attempt at making her own weapon, Kayla was quite proud, and it was enough of a distraction that she didn't have to think too hard about her situation.

First and foremost, saving Spider was her top priority. That kid had already been away from his home and friends for far too long, and with a military mind, Kayla could only imagine what the teenager might be going through right now. Hence why she needed to save him, and to do that she needed to hurry up with her Iknimaya and stop distracting herself with pretty Metkayina leaders with tattoos.

However, Ronal proves this to be difficult when she, yet again, seeks Kayla out. The Metkayina woman easily rose up to stand behind Kayla on her rock, unbothered by the height nor her rounded belly. And, as blunt as ever, she didn't waste either woman's time in beating around the bush, "You had upset my mate."

The cloud metaphorically above Kayla's head darkened, but she didn't address it, "He shouldn't have interfered with family matters."

It honestly surprised Ronal that Kayla was speaking so boldly in front of the tsahik without any fear of repercussions. The demon woman's manners and patience must be wearing thin after the news of the Sky People closing in on the Sullys' location. Kayla didn't bother to turn around, already aware of those narrowed, suspicious eyes that always seemed permanent on Ronal's face, angry with the urge to lash out at someone who had insulted Tonowari. But, if Kayla had bothered to turn around, she would've instead seen Ronal watching her as if she was analyzing her, trying to piece together the same puzzle her mate no doubt was trying to solve the night before.

"Perhaps you are right," she doesn't get the reaction she was expecting. Whenever Ronal tends to agree with Kayla or compliment her, it usually drives the avatar woman speechless, eyes wide and mouth usually left open. Now, Kayla barely moves other than to continue her task, back still turned to Ronal. The tsahik's upper lip twitched in annoyance, deciding on a different blunt question, "Why do you care so much about the Sky People?"

That earns her a pause, the silence lingering before Kayla continues sharpening her arrows, "I don't."

"And yet you care about..." She thinks back to what her mate had told her when he returned to their marui last night, her distaste still evident on her tongue, "I believe you call him Spider?"

Pricks of irritation rise all over Kayla's skin, and the same words that she's been repeating in her head and to others fall from her lips like a broken record, "That kid is more Na'vi than even me. He was born and raised here, unlike my brother and I, and he learned how to become Na'vi among the Omatikaya, playing and learning and growing up alongside my nieces and nephews. The only reason he doesn't have his own ikran is that he doesn't have the means to bond with one, otherwise, he would have a long time ago. That boy knows the language and culture of the Na'vi far more than I can ever hope to learn... and seeing this place through his eyes helped me learn to love it just as much as he does."

Ronal listened closely, attempting to grasp what Kayla was trying to say. It was hard to picture a demon boy who loved and cherished Eywa and all her creations. There were very few Sky People who respect this world and those who do tend to hide their true faces behind false Na'vi, such as Makayla and Toruk Makto, and those particular Sky People only live among the Omatikaya. Their kind was uncommon anywhere else. Either the Omatikaya didn't have enough spine to turn their chosen Sky People away, or the Forest People saw something worth saving under the watchful eye of the Great Mother.

As the spiritual leader of her clan, Ronal had to believe it was the latter option, but she wasn't as all-knowing as Eywa. Ronal wishes she had the gift of seeing what her goddess saw in humans. Maybe the demons had potential and she had yet to see it.

Only one way to find out. The tsahik turns to walk away, "Come. I have a large fishing net that requires mending."

Kayla sucks in a sharp breath of air, holding it for a moment before slowly exhaling, willing herself to calm down and be mindful. Grabbing her bow and whatever arrows she had managed to make, she did her best to keep her movements loose and relaxed as she willingly followed Ronal back to the village, not wanting to expose how irritated she felt.

They walk through the village and Kayla pointedly keeps her eyes forward, hearing some whispers in Na'vi whenever they pass by any Metkayina. Kayla bit her tongue, translating the language in her head and doing her best not to react in case the Metkayina realized she had heard them, purposely only staring at the back of Ronal's head. She relaxes a little, busying her troubled mind with admiring the texture of the Na'vi woman's hair, and before she knew it, they were at the beach. The fishing net in question was definitely large, stretching out the same width as a tsurak's wingspan. Tonowari was kneeling in the sand, leaning back on the heels of his feet as he worked away at mending said net.

Ah, so that's why Ronal had brought her here. To apologize. Suddenly it was becoming more difficult not to visibly appear irritated with everyone around Kayla who was treating her like a child. Still, she didn't hesitate to humor the tsahik for her hidden agenda and when the chieftain looked up at the sound of footsteps, Kayla flicked her alien fingers from her brow to Tonowari's direction, "I apologize for my temper yesterday, olo'eyktan. I was out of line and disrespectful."

She clenched her other fist when her voice still came out stiff. She kept still while Tonowari's eyes raked up and down her figure, analyzing Kayla while keeping his expression neutral, lips sealed shut and making her nervous as the silence lingered. Even she could admit she deserved the awkwardness after her hostility toward him, but it still unnerved her.

Once she visibly squirms under his gaze, the chief looks away and continues his task, "I will not fault you for simply reacting to the dire news I provided. You are frustrated at the idea of a boy in danger. Children are sacred to Eywa. We would not blame you for simply trying to protect a child."

Ronal clears her throat and Tonowari's ears fall ever so slightly before returning to normal. Kayla felt as though she was having a fucking aneurysm as she witnessed the olo'eyktan of the Metkayina shyly smile up at the avatar as if he didn't have the power to kick her out of the village. To appease his wife, he simply adds, "But you are forgiven."

Satisfied, Ronal lowers to her knees, using a hand on Tonowari's shoulder to help keep her balance before making herself comfortable and placing the net over her lap like a blanket, "Come, Makayla te Suli. Join us."

She felt less irritated by the demand this time, her head still reeling about a mighty clan leader who managed to look less intimidating with just a sheepish smile. Tonowari hums in approval when Kayla finally kneels down to join them, "It's a good day to sit down with some simple work and let your mind relax."

Kayla could clearly hear what the pair was trying to say to her without plainly spelling it out. Deeply sighing through her nose again, she let the scent of the ocean take over her senses and her muscles visibly loosen up under her blue skin. The wind gently caresses her face, the beads in her braided hair moving in tandem like a dance. She takes a part of the fishing net and gets to work, letting her fingers mindlessly weave and mend like she had been taught in the past, clearing her mind.

The three of them work in silence as they often do nowadays, basking in the sun while listening to the sounds of ocean life all around them. Kayla listened to children playing in the shallow water, adult Na'vi indulging in casual chatter that is often drowned out by the occasional splash and the chortle of an ilu. Occasionally, Kayla would spare a glance in her company's direction, and for the most part, Tonowari and Ronal remained silent, eyes glued to their task. There was a time or two, however, when one or both of them looked her way and Kayla could feel the corners of her lips twitch into a faint smile. A pleasant warmth spreads through her body when she receives a smile in kind, even from Ronal. Once the tsahik smiled, Kayla was thrown back to the first time she witnessed such a sight, back when the tulkun returned and Ronal was conversing with her Spirit Sister. Kayla had tried committing that smile to memory given that Ronal had never done so before, but now it was directed at Kayla, and the avatar was struggling to look away from it.

Their peace is interrupted by the sound of a group of ilu approaching the dock nearest to the beach, chattering among themselves and causing a small ruckus. Looking up, Kayla spotted a group of teenagers, and as they walked closer she realized that two of those teenagers belonged to her. Neteyam and Lo'ak were walking with Tsireya, Rotxo, and Ao'nung, each of the teens looking elated or nervous by something.

Neteyam was the first to see Kayla and eagerly waved as they walked up to her, "Auntie! You will not believe what Lo'ak just did."

Kayla snorts in amusement, rising to meet him, net forgotten, "I can believe a lot of things. Hit me."

The boy pauses in his footsteps, sheepishly smiling up at his aunt, "Not seriously though, right?"

She laughed, the rest of her gloomy clouds finally disappearing, "It's just a saying, kiddo. What did he do?"

"He bonded with a tulkun! Can you believe it?" Neteyam reached over and gripped Lo'ak's shoulder, the younger boy looking slightly unsure by the praise, "My baby brother, bonded with the great and mighty tulkun, Payakan!"

"What?!" Ronal roared, getting up faster than Kayla could turn her head.

All teenagers are suddenly frozen to their spots, ears lowered in fear when they remember that Kayla wasn't alone. Ao'nung immediately stepped back at the sight of his parents rising to their full heights, fishing net fully forgotten, while Tsireya tried to play damage control, "Sa'nok, it is not what you might--"

"You look me in the eyes, maite, and tell me exactly what happened," Ronal eyed her daughter down, stepping close until they nearly touched, "Now."

Tsireya shrank in on herself, her eyes darting between her parents, Lo'ak, and then back again, "... We followed Lo'ak beyond the reef. We saw it happen. He... bonded with Payakan."

Both leaders stiffen at the confession, eyes darkening to the point where they made Kayla's attitude from earlier look like sunshine and rainbows. Tonowari was grim, great clouds storming in his eyes as he pointedly stared directly at every teenager, "Come with me. Immediately."

"Rotxo. Go and fetch Toruk Makto and his mate." Ronal demands.

The reef boy runs off the moment he is excused. Since Kayla wasn't dismissed or sent to get her brother, she assumed she was also supposed to follow the clan leaders and so opted to stay in the back of the line, behind the children as they all walked in shame, sticking close to Ronal and Tonowari.

The windchimes dangling outside their marui jingle in greeting as the group approaches, no one saying a word as Ronal beckons them all inside. Tonowari steps up into the pod and the rest of them follow, the children all gathering around the olo'eyktan while Kayla stays toward the back, leaning against the entranceway.

Ronal storms into the marui last and is the first to speak, directing her anger at both of her children while pointing at Lo'ak, "You allowed this! You allowed him to bond with the outcast!"

Tsireya breathes shakily, avoiding eye contact as her father slowly approaches her. Kayla sees movement out of the corner of her eye and notices Jake and Neytiri approaching the marui, hand in hand, their eyes instantly darting to her and then their sons, silently asking her what was happening. Kayla simply shook her head at their wordless question.

"Tsireya."

The poor girl's ears lowered in response to the chief hissing her name, her eyes on the verge of crying as she peered up at her father. Tonowari was relentless in this light, his voice didn't need to be loud and strong to sound so harsh as he muttered, "You disappoint me, daughter."

Tonowari ignores the hurt in Tsireya's expression while he turns to address Lo'ak at the same time he notices Jake and Neytiri finally arrive, pointing to the man who now stands behind the forest boy, "And you, son of a great warrior who has been taught better."

"Payakan saved my life, sir. You don't know him." Lo'ak quickly defends.

"No, Lo'ak." Tsireya gently intervenes.

Her father, quietly enraged and perplexed, gathers his thoughts and motions to Lo'ak, "Sit. Sit," Lo'ak slowly follows the demand, kneeling down across from the chief. When no one else follows suit, Tonowari abruptly shouts, "Sit down!"

Tsireya whimpers, quick to obey her father while Neteyam and Ao'nung slowly follow suit, scared to move too fast as if trying to avoid the wrath of a palulukan. Even Jake and Neytiri lowered themselves into a crouch, just outside the marui, looking in. Once the children are gathered around him, the chief blows sharply, fanning his arms out. It looked as though he was trying to expel whatever demon inside him had encouraged his wrath, collecting himself before he spoke in a more level tone, pointing at Lo'ak, "Hear my words, boy. In the days of the First Songs, tulkun fought amongst themselves," Ronal begins to pace in the background, hand on her heart as if to carry the weight of this story. Kayla, the only one other than Ronal who didn't sit, carefully watches the tsahik while listening to the olo'eyktan's words, "For territory and for revenge. But they came to believe that killing, no matter how justified, only brings more killing. So all killing was forbidden. This is the Tulkun Way. Payakan is a killer, so, he is outcast."

"I'm sorry, sir," Lo'ak exclaimed, "But you're wrong."

"Lo'ak," Neytiri hushed her son, wishing to reach out to him, "You speak to Olo'eyktan!"

"I know what I--"

"That's enough!" Jake roared, driving both Lo'ak and Neteyam to flinch. Even Kayla's heart was ambushed by a small wave of fear, the hair on her skin rising before she quickly stomped the fear down in her gut, letting hidden anger take over as she glared daggers at her brother.

Jake doesn't appear to notice Kayla, and Lo'ak bravely speaks up regardless of the consequences, "I know what I know."

Ronal snarls, displaying her fangs in distaste while Jake quickly moves, his shadow falling over Lo'ak as the boy curls in on himself and refuses to meet anyone's eyes. Jake loomed over his youngest son, teeth bared in barely contained rage, "That's enough," he then looked to Tonowari, "I'll deal with this one."

Without another word, Toruk Makto roughly grabs Lo'ak by the arm and pulls the boy to his feet, dragging him away while Neytiri quietly follows. Kayla considered this lecture over, pushing off the doorway of the marui and turning her head to the remaining forest boy present, "'Teyam."

"Coming." Neteyam rises to full height, respectfully gesturing to Tonowari and Ronal before moving to his aunt, his eyes still wary of them.

Kayla waits until Neteyam joins her side before leaving, holding her gaze on the two clan leaders as she steps outside the pod. Both Ronal and Tonowari stare her down, eyes searching for something in hers, likely seeing where she stood in all of this. She felt apprehensive and it showed on her face, ears lowered as she faintly nodded to the clan leaders before parting, her hand cupping the back of her oldest nephew's neck as she led him away, following their other family members.

She purposely keeps her steps slow and stalls for as long as possible, not wanting Neteyam and herself to walk in on Jake lecturing Lo'ak. Instead, Kayla has Neteyam tell her his side of the story as they walk through the village, trying her best to focus on her nephew's story instead of the pointed stares and hushed whispers she has now become accustomed to hearing. Now that her Na'vi tongue was stronger, she could finally hear what bystanders were saying, and she could faintly see the way Neteyam's ears drooped, only confirming that he had heard the whispers, too. But either for his or his aunt's sake, he didn't say anything about it and instead bravely continued his story.

Once Neteyam finished explaining everything, starting from when Payakan first saved Lo'ak's life and ending on the events of today, the aunt and nephew return to the pathway leading home and brave themselves for whatever they might face. When they returned to the Sully marui, it appeared as though Jake had just gotten done lecturing Lo'ak and likely grounded him. The second son of Toruk Makto looked like he had just received terrible news, ears pinned back and eyes cast down to his feet, his tail tucked between his legs.

Neytiri and Jake both look up at the sound of Kayla and Neteyam entering the pod, both parents' arms crossed in front of them and tails both waving in annoyance. Jake takes one look at his sister and sees a storm brewing in her eyes, Kayla's gaze subtly flicking to Jake and then Lo'ak. Deciding he needed to get this over with and argue with someone who wasn't afraid to argue back, he steps away from Lo'ak and points to Neteyam, "Your mother will have a talk with you. I'm gonna walk your aunt home."

Without another word, Jake marched out of the pod and led Kayla back out. They start walking down the pathway and Jake can already feel her eyes on the back of his head. He snarls with irritation, "What?"

"Was that really necessary?"

"He disrespected the olo'eyktan, Kayla," he tilts his head to eye her down with a knowing expression, "You can't disrespect Tonowari, not while he's letting us stay here in good faith."

Kayla rolled her eyes, "Relax. I already apologized about last night and I can see to it that Lo'ak does the same. But I didn't see it as Lo'ak disrespecting an elder. It sounded like he was explaining himself and his actions. Or at least he was trying to whenever you weren't interrupting him."

"It's clear that the Metkayina praise and respect the tulkun and their customs. Not only was Lo'ak outside the reef but he was bonding with a tulkun not even the Metkayina interact with."

"Why does this matter so much to you? Lo'ak is an outcast who bonded with an outcast--"

"He's not an outcast," Jake snapped, "He's Metkayina now and he needs to respect the rules the Metkayina set in place--"

"How could he have known? I was there, Jake. I was listening. Tonowari spoke down on his daughter for not properly informing Lo'ak or stopping him from bonding with Payakan," she snarled, "Not that you would've known that since you were too busy believing that your son was fully to blame. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought your family was only staying here as guests, not permanent residents. Since when did you become Metkayina?"

"It's hard to explain--"

"--Something that isn't true? Yeah, I gathered," Kayla was quick to interrupt, distaste ever prominent on her tongue, "You've been trying to explain that to me back when you said you were Na'vi and not human."

He sighs, resigned and tired by the circle he and Kayla keep going around in, "We already talked about this. I know you think it's easy to juggle two worlds and two different ways of life, but it's not. You'll learn this the longer you stay here."

There it is again. Another comment and another person talking down to her like she was a child. Kayla's only anger returns, flaring up until her own tail betrayed her inner thoughts, the appendage waving erratically behind her. "You can move to different planets, change how you look and how you speak, and move to different clans but that can never change who you are," Jake doesn't respond, instead keeping his eyes forward, focused on the jungle slowly getting closer. Kayla sneered at the clear ploy he was using to try and ignore her, "And sometimes... these people like to remind me. Do you know what the Na'vi call us and your children behind our backs? Vrrtep Mesmuk."

He briefly paused, playing the words in his head before turning his head toward his sister and spelling them out, "Demon Siblings. Who exactly is saying this?"

She shrugged, looking around as they continued to walk, not wanting to see his reaction, "I heard some Metkayina say it when I first arrived, and then once or twice while walking through the village. They're not like the Omatikaya. They don't know you as well as the Forest People do. You might be respected as Toruk Makto, but not as an individual. And neither are your children."

It was clear in his expression that he didn't fully believe her, "I thought we were past you being suspicious of everyone. I thought you trusted the Na'vi."

"Jake, I get I'm not the greatest in speaking Na'vi, but I understand insults when I hear them, even when I'm not meant to understand them. I don't trust people who openly judge me and my family without even knowing us. You've seen what they're capable of if they think we're lesser than them. Your own son got freaking hazed for God's sake! He could've died because of the chief's son's arrogance. Why should I trust someone like that?"

"Are you saying you'd rather be with the Sky People?"

"I don't trust them either!" She shouted back in self-defense, "The only people we can trust are the ones in this family. Trust no one but each other. That's what you and Tommy taught me!"

Jake winced, the words painful and a constant reminder of a troubled past, one that Kayla wouldn't let him easily forget. She continued to drill into him, "These people have done well to remind us that we're demons and nothing more. And unless you expect your son to grow fins overnight, he is Omatikaya and has the right to speak as one of them. Today I noticed how even though he has the right to speak as Omatikaya, you didn't allow him to."

Jake suddenly rears back, spinning around like lightning as his anger flares up again. He glares Kayla down as if he was able to set her on fire with just one look, "Don't tell me how to parent my son until you become a parent yourself. Until then, don't pretend to know what it's like."

Kayla's eyes widen, mouth still open in retort but no sound comes out. When the words sink in, her expression shifts, quickly becoming stone, unreadable, and dark. She stares blankly back at Jake, something vanishing as quickly as it appeared behind her eyes like something was nearly about to burst out but she carefully pulls it back.

She chooses her next words cautiously like she's about to set off a landmine, "I know enough just by watching you fail. If I ended up having kids tomorrow, I'd already be a better parent because I learned what not to do as I watched you react the way you did today. You tried to parent me once, and you ended up abandoning me. And even though you didn't abandon your children, you still abandoned Spider. Forgive me if I don't believe you have the best track record for ace parenting."

Yet again, her words hit close to home and cut deep into Jake's chest, her words spit like acid now seeping into his skin. She held her ground and kept her gaze on him until he couldn't bear it any longer as if he was staring directly at a blazing sun. Jake breaks the exchange and returns down the path they came from without another word, leaving his sister just along the line of the jungle. His thoughts were a little childish and petty as he begrudgingly stated to himself that she could find the rest of her way back to her camp alone.

~~~~~~~~~

It was only after Jake left that Kayla decided to sever her link and slip back into her human form for the night. Returning to her campsite, she climbs up the tree and secures herself inside her nivi, her eyes slowly slipping shut as she drifts off.

She woke up in her human form lying on her back inside her link gurney. When she opened the gurney and glanced around, Max looked up from his clipboard as he stood beside her link bay, staring with concern through his glasses, "Back again? You do remember that you were just here last night, right?"

"I know, I know. I just..." She slowly sat up, rubbing her forehead, "Have you heard anything?"

"Honestly?" The scientist sighed, setting the clipboard down and rubbing his tired eyes, glasses pushing up to his forehead, "It's... too quiet. Radio silence. RDA channels don't appear to be active and even before you told us about the Recoms and Spider's whereabouts, we didn't hear anything about ships being sent out to the islands. Whatever is happening over there... Ardmore is keeping it top secret. She clearly doesn't want us to know about it even if there wasn't the off chance we couldn't hack their radio chatter."

Kayla simply nodded, hopping off the gurney and grabbing a sweatshirt she had thrown off to the side the night before, slipping her arm through it and then the other, "Okay."

Max peers back at her, hearing the exhaustion and defeat in her voice, "What is it?"

"I have a bad feeling."

He perks up, immediately thinking it had something to do with the neural link, "Nausea?"

"No, I mean... I think something bad is about to happen. Instead of getting further from trouble, Jake's family is now closer than ever."

Max notes the way Kayla's voice is distant and doesn't include herself in her equation about Jake's family, but the scientist wisely doesn't address it, "I know. Keep us updated as often as possible, alright? We won't be able to help if we don't know what's going on."

"Yeah. Have you seen Norm?"

"He volunteered for patrol tonight," she flashes a skeptical expression to which he explains, "Tarsem isn't taking any chances and has ordered double the security. He also thinks something is up."

"Alright. Let 'im know I'll be in my shack when he gets back."

"You got it."

After slipping on a mask and stepping out of the lab, Kayla zips up her sweatshirt and heads in the direction of her bunk, hands in her pockets and shoulders scrunched up, trying to look small and not someone who would be easy to approach and talk to. Luckily, she didn't have a problem getting to the Site 26 shack alone and slipped inside, taking off her mask and getting comfortable sitting at the table, pulling out Norm's whiskey that he now hid from Max by leaving it among Kayla's belongings.

There are more pictures decorating the fridge compared to when Kayla first moved into this place, newer than the ones she brought and the ones that were left behind sixteen years ago. Skimming through the new and recent pictures, she smiled to herself while inspecting one photo that had all of her nieces and nephews surrounding her human self, smiling at the camera together. Another picture had Lo'ak, Kiri, and Spider positioned close together and scrunched in front of the camera like they were taking a selfie, either making faces or in the middle of laughing. Another picture was of Kayla, in her avatar form, posed with Neytiri and Neteyam, all smiling. Kayla likes to put that photo next to another one, an older one, one that Kayla wasn't even a part of. It was a picture of Grace Augustine, in her avatar, holding Na'vi children close to her as they all smiled at the camera. Two of those Na'vi children happen to be a young Neytiri and her sister, Sylwanin. Kayla liked to put her photo and Grace's photo side by side to compare the similarities and differences in Neytiri throughout the years, starting from her eyes, smile, and change of fashion and jewelry.

The hiss of the decompression chamber interrupts Kayla's peace and she straightens up in her chair, pouring two glasses of whiskey just as Norm walks through the door, mask in hand while looking around until he spots her, "Hey, Max said you'd be here. Everything alright? You hear anything from Spider?"

She grimaced, "I doubt he has the means to call me himself, so..."

Norm sucked in a sharp breath and winced, stepping forward and sitting down across from her, "Right. So what's the plan?"

She slides a glass of whiskey to him, "Plan?"

He gratefully accepts the drink, taking a sip before responding, "Well, Max mentioned the Sky People are likely closing in on Jake's location. Are you gonna suggest that you guys move back home?"

Kayla scoffed, taking a sip of her own drink and rolling her lips, "Anything I say to Jake will just go in one ear and out the other, just like everything else I tell him."

"Hm," Norm sombers up, "I take it talking to him isn't going well then."

"It's like talking to a wall. He makes me feel like a broken record sometimes."

"He'll have to listen to you eventually. Maybe after you finish your rites of passage?"

"Which ones?" She asked sarcastically, "My Omatikaya trials or Metkayina?"

He tries his best to playfully smile, "Hey, the best of both worlds wouldn't hurt, right?"

She smiles bitterly. After all, isn't that the exact same thing she's been trying to tell Jake? She tilts her head back until she's able to finish off her whiskey in one gulp, feeling the pleasant burn slowly go down her throat and warm her stomach. Norm decided to fill in the void by talking about his day, telling Kayla how his patrol went and what he had been up to in longer and better detail than when she had initially asked the night before when she last visited.

Whether it was the whiskey or the friendly chatter, Kayla visibly began to relax, her nerves from before vanishing as she pretended that, just for a moment, everything was at peace in the world-- maybe even the entire universe, "Thanks, Norm. I needed this."

"Anytime. Or at least until the whiskey runs out."

A/N: If you haven't seen it, here's an edit I made for this fic! If you have edits of your own or if you have fanart, please tag me in them I would love to see it!

Let me know either in the comments or in my inbox if you would like to be in the taglist! It's all about to go down in the next chapter so make sure you're the first to know about it 😎

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thecousinsdangereux · 2 years

Text

if i'm falling wrong [1/1]

notes: over on Twitter, moonyriot has been working on a multi-part journal from Ava's POV covering her time in Switzerland and beyond. She asked me if I wanted to join in on the fun and write a short one-shot to cover some of the events in part 6. (If you haven't seen any of her posts, here's the first one. They are incredible so definitely check them out.)

—

“The integrity of the upright guides them,” Ava reads, taking care to enunciate each word, “but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. That’s Proverbs 11:3, Beatrice.”

Beatrice definitely knows, which is — Ava thinks — what makes it so funny. Or. Funny to her, at least. Maybe not so much for Beatrice, whose lips have flattened into a thin line that hides almost all of their pretty pink hue (a color Ava has taken a liking to in a way that definitely relates to how often she finds herself staring at Beatrice’s mouth).

“It is better to promise nothing than to promise something and not be able to do it,” Ava continues, because she’s never been any good at knowing when to stop. “That’s Ecclesiastes. And — ooh, this is a good one — A person who promises a gift but doesn’t give it is like clouds and wind that bring no rain. That’s — ”

“Proverbs again, yes, thank you, Bible.com.”

“It’s actually Biblereasons.com.” She shows off the screen of her phone, the one that she’s definitely supposed to be using sparingly (and never does). “But sure, I can go to your bible website of choice. Whatever you want. Pretty sure I’m still going to find the same answer, though. Honestly, I would’ve thought a nun would know that lying is bad. Not to brag, or anything, but I learned that one when I was like five, or something.”

For reasons unknown, this pries Beatrice’s lips wide, dragging them out into a full smile, pink mouth and small indent at the corner appearing just as quickly as Ava’s pulse picks up, heart slamming up against the poor, battered walls of her chest.

“How odd,” Beatrice begins, in a low drawl that means Ava’s in trouble (in so many ways). “Because I seem to recall you telling Hans, just yesterday morning, that you were allergic to apples. As a result, he traded pastries with you, leaving you with the chocolate eclair you’d been all but salivating over since you first noticed it in the break room. Given that I know that you were perfectly able to consume a slice of apple pie that the neighbors brought up last week, I am forced to conclude that — ”

“Okay, okay! Jesus. Pump the brakes, Miss Marple. I’m allowed to lie; I’m a dirty sinner or whatever. But you hold yourself to a higher standard, right?” (Unfortunately, Ava adds, but only mentally, because yeah.) “So when you said ‘Ava, if you’re able to best me in a mighty trial of combat, I will bequeath to you a single portrait wherein my lips are upturned in joyous felicitations’ or whatever, I took that as an oath, Bea. A serious, serious oath.”

“One, I don’t sound like that. Two, no English person alive sounds like that. Why do you default to the Regency era when you’re trying to mock my accent?”

By now, Beatrice’s smile has really started to crack open, showing off the slightest sliver of white behind those lips. It’d be unfair to say that this (the moment where Beatrice’s eyes crinkle with a laughter she most likely won’t release) is always Ava’s goal in any conversation she has with Beatrice, but maybe it is always an intended stop along the way, whatever the actual destination might be.

(Other pitstops of note include: the cute scrunch of her nose whenever she’s focused on Ava alone, the half-tilt of her head whenever she’s considering something Ava’s said, the almost absentminded brush of her fingers along Ava’s forearm whenever she wants her to pay especially close attention. There’s a common theme here, but Ava’s well-aware of her own preoccupation, so it’s fine. Probably.)

“Uh, because I’m paying you a huge compliment? Ungrateful much? Mr. Darcy is like… the hottest the British have ever been. Not that that’s hard because otherwise they kind of really suck, but I’m trying here, Bea, and you’re giving me nothing but attitude. And lies.”

Beatrice sighs. It’s cute enough that Ava nearly sighs too, longing bubbling up behind her lips.

“I told you I would smile for one of your pictures if you pinned me during training. It was implied you would do so without cheating.”

With a tsk that doesn’t sound anything like the one Beatrice sometimes uses (a low sound from the back of her throat that always did very little to help Ava concentrate), Ava takes a half-step closer so that she might properly waggle a finger in Beatrice’s face.

“I’m only doing what you taught me, Bea I thought I was supposed to use all the resources at my disposal?”

Beatrice promptly bats the finger away. But that’s sort of the point. (Sometimes, it’s a little pathetic, the lengths Ava will go to make sure Beatrice is touching her at literally every possible opportunity, but Ava’s never really minded being a little pathetic for a good cause. And Beatrice is honestly never hard to bait, at least in this particular way.)

“Ava, you bit me.”

“Which was using all the resources at my disposal! Come on! If I’d been in a real fight, you would’ve called that innovative!”

“Perhaps if you hadn’t used your — ” Delightfully, Beatrice takes a small, steadying breath before her next word, which, to Ava (who’s spent months studying Beatrice with the rigor of a staunch academic) is as much of a giveaway as one of her cute little blushes. “ — tongue.”

“I think the element of surprise would still work just fine,” she insists, but then Beatrice gives her a look, one that she knows won’t allow for any debate over the merits of licking her enemies, and she gives in nearly instantly. (Ava’s really only interested in using any part of her mouth on one person alone, anyway.) “But fine. Okay. Good note, teach.”

Winter has begun to fade from the air and, as they walk back towards their apartment in the meandering pace that has become their custom, Ava is pleased by this for two reasons. One: their neighbors — who bake enough that Ava’s convinced they’re working up to competing on one of those bafflingly polite baking shows — now leave their windows open, filling the air with the most delicious smells, noticeable even a block away from their home. And Two: Beatrice has taken to wearing short-sleeves again, which means that when she nudges Ava now (with a charmed little roll of her eyes), it’s bare skin against bare skin.

In training, this is both a pleasure and a problem, because then it’s Beatrice’s shorts and Ava’s shirt being pushed up as Ava gets pinned to the ground and it’s the skin of Beatrice’s inner thigh against the skin of Ava’s hip and that’s a lot more than the casual brushes she’s gotten used to. Ava had long ago realized that any and all logical thought flies out the fucking window when faced with a muscular thigh, so really, it hadn’t been all that much of a surprise when it’d resulted in Ava doing something completely insane.

Like taking Beatrice’s thumb into her mouth. And biting it. And maybe sucking a little. Honestly, it’s all a bit of a haze, because Beatrice had then made a noise that would most certainly be featured in Ava’s dreams for the next week or month or year, in the most mortifying (and sexy) way possible.

And to be fair, it had worked in getting Ava out of the chokehold she otherwise would’ve probably happily died in.

So there’s that.

“Something with chocolate today,” Beatrice comments, and Ava short-circuits for a second, thinking about chocolate and fingers and skin and the really incredible potential combination of the three, before she remembers the neighbors and the smell and the baking and feels her cheeks burn.

“Uh — yeah. Maybe they’ll have extra to share.” The windows on the first floor apartment are (of course) open as they approach, and Ava raises her voice just enough for it to carry through. She catches the intertwined laughter of the neighbors that results, and shoots Beatrice a wink that dispels some of the heat building within her, an emergency vent that she’s learned to rely on.

“You’re shameless,” Beatrice says, in the exact way she always does whenever she doesn’t mean it (lips quirking at the corners).

“And you’re welcome, when we end up getting brownies, or whatever they’re making.”

The door to their building never unlocks easily, but it’s gotten worse as the temperatures have started to rise; Beatrice shoulders it open, muscles bunching in her back, and Ava does absolutely nothing to help, watching the flex of her shoulder blades under the tight, gray fabric.

“You know me,” Beatrice says lightly, knocking the side of her sneakers against the bottom of the stairs before heading up (and Ava does know her, enough to wait patiently for her to complete this small ritual). “I’m always craving sweets.”

“You are sometimes! Whenever you come home from a night shift, you break into my stash! And since you have a lot of those coming up, on account of you losing our bet…”

Beatrice laughs, a soft huff that turns into an adorable little squeak when Ava shoves past her on the staircase and snatches the keys from her fingers, bursting through their apartment door with far less effort than Beatrice had needed below.

“You’re not letting this one go, are you?”

It’s probably response enough when she snatches her camera off of the kitchen table and points it at Beatrice as soon as she steps across the threshold, but even this (pretty impressive!) sneak attack fails. Beatrice is quick enough to throw a hand up before the snap, lowering it only when Ava does the same with the camera. She continues to eye her warily as she bends down to untie her shoes, only abating to cast a significant look in Ava’s direction, which persists until Ava kicks hers off far less elegantly.

“It’s one photo, Bea!” she grumbles, watching as Beatrice arranges their sneakers in a perfect little line. “Just… one smile. Let’s just get it out of the way, you know? Look up and … ”

Beatrice does look up.

Ava has to give her that.

It’s the only warning she gets before Beatrice is standing and her fingers are wrapping around Ava’s wrist and she’s pressed flush against Ava’s front and well. Sure. That’s one way to get Ava to shut up. Probably the only way. Ava knows this about herself, but really can’t find any regret when it’s led her right here.

“You cheated,” Beatrice murmurs lowly. “Why would I reward that?”

Ava has a lot of thoughts around the concept of Beatrice rewarding her, and absolutely none of them are good. (Or, rather, they’re all extremely good. Very good. Far too good for her to be able to say out loud, those curling, irreverent thoughts that stick her tongue to the roof of her mouth and keep her up at night.) So it’s really out of mercy that she phases then — slipping out of Beatrice’s grip the only way she knows how that doesn’t involve cheap tricks — stepping back and lifting her camera again.

What follows transpires a bit too quickly for Ava to track.

She’s seen Beatrice fight in all sorts of situations — at full speed in back alley brawls and at half-tempo when leading her through a new form — but Ava’s pretty sure she’ll never see enough to lose the surprise that comes from being on the end of one of Beatrice’s first strikes. She’s in front of Ava and then she’s not; it’s really as simple (and terrifying) (and hot) as that. One moment, Ava has her camera ready, and then she’s facing a different direction entirely, her hand twisted behind her back, her camera falling from her grasp. Beatrice is fast here too, swooping down to catch it before it hits the floor, but this allows Ava to throw an elbow backwards, a hit that surely would have broken something in Beatrice’s face had it landed (but which Ava knows by now never will).

“Double or nothing?” Ava pants, stumbling forward and twisting back around to face Beatrice, who’s gently placed the camera on the floor, carefully out of the way.

“Two photos if you win and you take my night shifts for two weeks when you lose?”

“Wait, I don’t like the if/when placement in that senten — ”

She barely ducks out of Beatrice’s grapple, cutting herself off mid-word to manage it, a little breathless already. It occurs to her that she’s definitely made a mistake here, looking up and finding Beatrice serious and focused, strands of her hair slipping out of the low bun that’s already started to loosen. Even in the warm light filtering through their apartment windows, Beatrice’s eyes look dark, and Ava spends a second too long suppressing a shiver at the sight. Which means, of course, she’s unable to avoid the next hit: a full tackle to the floor. Either Beatrice really doesn’t want Ava to take this photo or she really wants to get out of her night shifts, because she’s not going about this in the calm, measured way Ava is used to. (There’s a third option and it’s one Ava likes best; maybe Beatrice just really wants to pin Ava to the floor, to feel Ava underneath her, to feel Ava squirm against her front, fighting to get out of the hold. This is the option Ava relates to best and maybe it’s the one driving her now, putting her at a disadvantage just as significant as all the other ones.)

Ava hits the ground hard, enough to knock air out of her lungs, but she’s saved, partially, by starting on a twist mid-air, mindful of how dangerous it’ll be if Beatrice gets her flat on her back. Not that Ava is opposed to this idea. Not on a normal day. Not even today, if only Beatrice would —

“Good,” Beatrice says, breaking through Ava’s thoughts, though not in a way that is helpful at all. Beatrice most certainly notices the jerk of Ava’s hips the single word causes, but almost equally as certainly dismisses it as part of Ava’s attempts to break free. “But you over-rotated. Just slightly. See how I can use that to put you on your stomach?”

Always the instructor, Beatrice explains precisely how she’s going to best Ava before she actually does it; if Ava were better at this (if Beatrice were worse) this might actually be of some help in countering Beatrice’s efforts. Sadly, she’s not, so it isn’t.

“Fuck,” Ava grunts, face pressed directly into the carpet of their bedroom. It’s honestly painful, the way Beatrice’s knee presses into the center of her back, but it’s a sort of pain that Ava’s come to find — over their months together — that she doesn’t especially mind or maybe even likes and maybe gets a fair amount of pleasure from and maybe thinks about it from time to time whenever she gets a moment alone and — yeah. Fuck is really the only word for it.

“What now, Ava?” Finally, there’s a hint of the breathlessness in Beatrice’s voice: when she locks one of Ava’s arms behind her back, and Ava attempts to land some kind of backwards headbutt, pushing herself up off the floor with her free hand. “What’s your best option?”

Beg you to have your way with me, doesn’t really seem like the response Beatrice is looking for, but Christ a girl can only take so much. And right about then, Ava knows she’s going to cheat (because it’s either cheat or blurt out something that will inevitably be extremely horny) but is it really cheating if there hadn’t been any rules put forth in the first place?

She’s gotten better about controlling the Halo, so it barely gives off any light before she lifts onto one knee and throws herself backwards, phasing neatly through Beatrice’s front. The effort Beatrice had been using to hold her down works against her now, effectively swapping their positions as she falls forward, and Ava’s quick to use that momentum, reaching around to grab the front of Beatrice’s shirt so she’s flipped with the motion. Another (gentle) Halo blast lands Beatrice on her back, Ava straddling her hips and pinning both of her hands on either side of her head.

“You didn’t say no Halo,” Ava says in a rush, as though the victory will be taken away instantly, as though she cares at all about some stupid bet instead of being on top of Beatrice whose eyes are wide and lovely, whose lips are parted and pink, whose chest is — not something Ava is looking at, thank you very much. Because she’s respectful, she can be respectful, she has to try to be respectful.

“I didn’t,” Beatrice says finally and then fucking licks her lips, like God Himself has decided that Ava needs to be punched directly in the face with attractiveness or whatever and holy shit.

Holy shit.

“Then I — that means — uh — ” She releases one of Beatrice’s wrists like it’s burning, very much aware of the intensity of the gaze resting on her, and blindly roots around on the floor behind her until she finds the camera, resting just where Beatrice had left it. “I get to do this.”

Her fumbling with the camera is hardly graceful, but honestly, the fact that she’s able to produce words at all is nothing short of a miracle, so she’ll take it. Her right hand is still wrapped around Beatrice’s left, fingers circling her wrist as she pins it to the floor, and she takes a picture of this first, holding her breath all the while.

“For — uh — proof?” she offers, a little weakly, and Beatrice’s stare finally breaks, intensity replaced by something much softer, something that seeps into the corner of her eyes and mouth in equal measure. Ava’s struck by the sight as much as she is by anything else, and her grip relaxes enough that Beatrice can slip out of the hold, both hands drifting down until they come to rest just alongside either one of Ava’s knees.

“Proof for who?”

“What do you — proof for literally everyone, Bea; Hans, Camila, Lilith, Mother Superion, Jillian, the regulars at the bar, our neighbors, the lady who runs the bakery down the street, any random person I walk past for the next month. Hell, I might take out an ad in The Guardian, or something, are you kidding?”

Beatrice laughs and it’s like a crack in the universe, or something equally and unequivocally earth-shattering. Lungs empty, air knocked fully out, Ava lifts her camera almost instinctively, only to find her view devastatingly obstructed, Beatrice’s arms flung over her face (the grin, still wide with laughter, barely peeking out from underneath).

“Beatrice,” she groans (or maybe pouts).

“I’m sorry!” And she sounds it too, even through the smile, the half-giggles now petering out. “Truly. I’m not used to being photographed. I can’t think of a time it happened before you took up this hobby, not outside of unpleasant family photoshoots and the like.”

Ava’s heart flips painfully in her chest, but Beatrice is quick to soothe, fingers falling back down to brush against the outside of Ava’s leg, as though Ava’s the one in need of comfort.

“I’m not protesting, Ava. Just tell me what to do.”

Photographs are meant to reproduce moments, memories, emotions, but Ava’s not sure the best photographer in the world, with hundreds of thousands of euros in equipment, would ever be able to fully capture Beatrice as she is now, fondness bleeding from the tips of her fingers, affection lighting the brown of her eyes, and love — or something an awful lot like it — bending her mouth, a bow pulled taut with an arrow that might be Ava herself, as inconceivable as the notion is.

“Pretend the camera isn’t here,” Ava rasps, her breath hot (heated by all the things boiling inside of her now). “Just look at me.”

Beatrice looks at her.

Ava stops breathing.

She takes the picture. The camera lowers. And Ava forgets about it entirely, object permanence completely obliterated by a force far stronger than something as trivial as human development.

Underneath her, seemingly content to be straddled, Beatrice looks calm, which isn’t unusual, because she almost always looks calm, so maybe it’s that she feels calm too. Like all the things Ava can always sense running through her at speeds only known to light have slowed down or disappeared entirely. The mission, her duties, her vows, her expectations, these things have washed away (temporarily but completely) until it’s only Beatrice left, staring at her lips. And Ava had thought she’d experienced wanting Beatrice in every way, but this one is new.

(She wants Beatrice like this: exactly herself, without anything else getting in the way.)

“Beatrice,” she says, a hitch in her voice breaking the name into three, distinct syllables. “I’m — ”

Cursed. Saved. Ruined. Blessed. Fucked.

Ava’s not sure which word applies when the smoke alarm goes off downstairs.

It is not especially loud, or piercing, but it goes off and all of the easy calm flees from Beatrice’s eyes as she jerks upwards, back lifting off the floor until she’s close, closer than before, so close and it’s too much, maybe, or maybe Ava’s instincts are working against her (or for her?) because she falls back as soon as Beatrice completes the motion, balance disastrously (helpfully?) disrupted.

Oh well, Ava thinks, as she lets herself fall back. Maybe a bit of brain damage would do her some good.

Except that, of course, Beatrice catches her, a simple slip of her hand around Ava’s back, palm pressing to the middle of the Halo, shocks spreading out from the point of impact.

“You’re what?” Beatrice asks, terribly quiet, as though she feels the air rearranging around them, molecules shifting back and forth between possibilities and outcomes.

And if Beatrice were still calm, if everything else were still pushed away, if Beatrice was just Beatrice in that moment — just as she’d been so briefly before — it would not be a choice, what Ava did next. And maybe it isn’t one now either, but it’s in the opposite direction: pulling away rather than pushing forward (creating space rather than closing it).

“I’m — just — I’m done. With the photos.” Decision made, breath returning, she shrugs, a little bashful now, the steady beep of the alarm and the laughter of their neighbors drifting up from below. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Beatrice’s head tilts, a small crease forming in between her eyebrows. Some people want money or power or peace or the answers to the universe, but Ava thinks she would be content, if only she could know what Beatrice is thinking right now.

“No,” she murmurs. “Not so bad at all.”

#avatrice #warrior nun #ava silva lives on #Ava's Journals #moonyriot #happy new year!#writing

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