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isthisthingeven0n · 4 years

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skincare and tiktoks : s.s

brief summary: scott can’t help but be intrigued by your skincare routine and wants to join in, filming a tiktok of the process along the way

word count: 1.1k requested: yes by two seperate anons! i combined two requests of making tiktoks w scott and doing skincare with him- i hope you guys like the outcome warnings: skin care routine is kinda based on my own and might not be accurate/recommended idk so don’t judge the details of that too bad lmao

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK - IT IS ALL MY OWN WRITING

“Why does your skin actually glow?” Scott questions as you shuffle in bed, rubbing your face as you begin to wake up.

Yawning loudly, you fully open your eyes to see your boyfriend focusing on you. “Sweat and having an oily complexion babe.” You mumble, hearing a soft chuckle leave his lips as he sits upright, still admiring your natural beauty.

“Are there products that you use? Cause Jaq had loads when she moved in, like a box or two dedicated to skincare.” Scott explains whilst you refuse to move, perfectly comfortable wrapped up in the duvet. “And I used that blue bottle you kept in the shower the other day, and it was-”

“You used what?” Snapping yourself out from peaceful rest, you look at Scott with wide eyes whilst his lips remain parted, having been cut off in mid-sentence.

Scott cleared his throat, realising he was in the danger zone depending on what he next said. “I erm, I used that scrub stuff in the blue bottle?” His voice rises at the end as he raises an eyebrow, seeing your expression remain stoic.

“Okay.” You quietly respond, nodding your head. “Okay, that’s fine.” You sigh as you rise to your feet. “Only cost me like twenty bucks but it’s chill.” You shrug a shoulder, and Scott’s eyes widen now.

“TWENTY BUCKS?!” He almost yells, causing you to jump as you turn around.

Looking at the shock written across his face, any annoyance you had immediately melts.

“You don’t even wanna know how much the other products cost.” You comment with a smile on your face as Scott rises from your bed, following you into the bathroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, you watch as Scott stands behind you, resting his head on your shoulder as he grins brightly to your reflection.

“Will you help me with my skincare routine?” Scott asks and you nod, reaching up into the cupboard revealing all of the shelves stocked with your things and a small corner with Scott’s toothbrush.

“Okay, so I usually start with a shower,” You explain, turning around to face your boyfriend as you remain trapped between him and the sink.

Scott can’t help but smirk, watching as you roll your eyes. “Wanna save water?” He mutters, but you can’t help but laugh at his attempt at subtly asking you.

Bending down, you move away from him and reach for the tap to turn the water on. “Come on then,” You motion and Scott takes his top off whilst you begin to undress.

“Now what?” Scott sits beside you in your bedroom as you wear a towel turban, Scott copying you.

“I cleanse my skin after using the shower scrub.” You explain, motioning for him to follow you back into the bathroom.

Cleansing was definitely an easier step to your routine as Scott sets his phone up, recording you both. “I’m making a TikTok.” He mumbles as you smile up at him, squirting some cleanser onto your fingertips before gliding it across his skin.

“Now we clean it off with warm water, and rinse with cold.” You look at the phone screen, seeing how intently Scott is listening to you as you lean down and clean your face, reaching for a towel afterwards.

Once Scott cleans his face, he stands back up straight, only to see you giggle. “What?” He asks, touching his face.

“You dork.” You chuckle, taking his hands away from his face as you remove a bit of cleanser from his eyebrow. “Come on, now we tone.”

You were both a few steps into the routine now, and secretly Scott was enjoying himself. It felt luxurious and relaxing to do this with you, watching as you prepare for your day even if it consists of just lounging around the house.

“Okay, so what do we do now?” Scott asks you, eager for the next step as his skin feels dewy, fresh and glowy like yours.

Humming to yourself, you pull out the drawer in your dresser, revealing two sheet masks. “I mean, why not? I’ve not got anything better to do.” You suggest and Scott takes the mask from you.

“Wait are these superhero ones?” He gasps, looking at the packaging.

“Yeah, I got them on sale.” You chuckle, completely forgetting he was recording the entire thing to edit later. “You wanna be Spiderman or Wonder Woman?”

Scott looks between the two, seeing the one in his hand and opens it up. “Wonder woman it is then.” You chuckle as he applies the mask, smoothing the edges whilst you apply yours.

Sitting still, Scott looks over at you as he holds back a laugh. “So we just sit here?” He asks, watching as you nod. “You look ridiculous.” He points out and you glance over, a smile forming beneath your mask.

“So do you.” You admit before standing up. “Wanna do a dance for TikTok whilst these are on?” You suggest and Scott jumps to his feet whilst you learn one of Mariah’s new routines to Scott’s newest song.

Finishing the routine and uploading it to TikTok (after eight failed previous attempts) you sat back down and removed your mask, along with Scotts.

“My face feels weird.” Scott rubs his hands over his cheeks before placing them on yours and squirming. “It’s all wet.” He looks down at his hands with wide eyes and you laugh lightly before rubbing the product into your skin and down your neck.

“I’ll say this now, if we get rashes I blame myself.” You hold your hand up in defence, Scott taking a mental note as you throw the used masks away.

Whilst your gone, Scott can see notifications rolling in on the dance video you just made. Most of the comments consist of adoration for you both as a couple, and how single people feel after watching you both.

“Having fun?” You ask as you walk in, seeing Scott positively glowing.

Nodding in response, Scott locks his phone before walking over and wraps his arms around your waist.

“Is there any other step to this routine?” He questions, raising an eyebrow.

Yet, you shake your head. “That would be it, but I don’t mind rounding it off with this.” You rise up and kiss him softly, resting your hand on his soft cheek as he smiles into your lips.

“And we do this everyday?” Scott mutters as he pulls away, looking down at you.

“More or less, and you’ll be glowing in no time hot stuff.” You nudge him playfully, leaving him with a bashful smile on his lips as you wander out of the room to play with Dragon.

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liberolove · 4 years

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Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app.

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period.

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed.

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio:

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe?

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled.

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders.

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying,

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number.

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

#liberolove writes #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #lblv.nishinoya

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justowrite · 7 years

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Late Night Stories

genre(s): fluff(for now)

summary: Simon “accidentally” added Baz on Snapchat.

The late night talking was more of an impulse.

warning/triggers: only cursing(for now)

words: 1262

a/n: English is not my first language, I tried there wasn’t any mistakes but I’m sorry if there’s any...I hope you enjoy anyway! Thanks for reading

Ao3

chapter 2(ar this chapters or parts? idk)

****

Chapter 1

I sit up quickly as I recognized the name on the screen.

baz_pitch

Friends in common, that makes sense. I have practically half of Watford on my phone, someone must have Baz. He is popular after all, well mostly, his last name is popular. I doubt anyone could be both Baz and my friend at the same time.

I wonder what he uploads. I bet he brags about his life. He probably uploads his fancy Christmas dinner, his expensive gifts, his bloody fantastic life. I realize my finger is almost touching the Add next to his name. I get chills from the idea of having Baz on my phone. I shake my head and start to lay back on the floor.

“Simon!” I jump scared and hit my head on the couch behind me. I turn to see Agatha as I sit up again. “Are you okay?” She smiles apologetically at me. I only nod in response.

I reach for the phone, that fell off my hands. “Fuck.” I swallow.

“What?” There wasn’t any Add option next to Baz’s name anymore, instead, I could Snap him or chat with him. “Simon?” I look up and block my phone.

“I-It’s just…just that the screen scratched when it fell.” I give her a nervous smile. I am so bad with lies. But Agatha brushed it off and only told me that dinner was almost ready.

When she leaves I lay my back on the floor again, this time succeeding.

It’s fine, I’m sure he hasn’t noticed. I can eliminate him. I put my finger on his name, but I don’t do anything else. I just stare blankly at the phone. I notice I’m biting my nail when Agatha calls me again. I give my phone one last glare before locking in it and putting it in my pocket.

I…I’ll do it later.

***

I forgot.

How could I forget? Fuck.

After dinner, Agatha and I watched Doctor Who in her living room. Which clearly was uncomfortable for her. It was her father’s idea to bring me on Christmas break even after we broke up. Well, since she broke up with me. Until now I gave up on trying to talk to her, for now. At least while we are at her parents’ house.

Between all of that, I forgot about my phone. It was late now. Really late, 2 or 3 am. He probably noticed already. When I open Snapchat I am surprised to see that he hasn’t blocked me. I go back to the original plan to eliminate him hoping he doesn’t say anything when we're back at Watford.

He uploaded something to his history.

I click on it before I can think on what I’m doing.

My phone goes black, mostly. There are small, bright spots across the screen. It finally hits me, it’s the sky… Lastly, I realized there are words, but the image shuts down too fast for to read it. I click on it again.

Darker things are hidden within you.

I stare blankly at his name on my phone, I open his chat to stare at it instead. What is he doing outside at this hour? He usually goes out to the catacombs to eat earlier. What could he be plotting at this hour? I quickly take a photo of the end of the bed, barely illuminated by the moonlight of the window next to me. What are you doing outside?

I lock my phone and rest it on my chest. Though I am still gripping it tightly. I feel my heart beat fast, and my breath quicken. I can almost hear Baz mocking me when we are back at Watford when my phone vibrates in my hand. I unlock it and click on his name fast.

It’s none of your business. Behind his words, there is forest, full of shadows and tall trees that didn’t fit in the picture.

I take a picture of the roof this time. Thanks to the Crucible, we are roommates. I have to know if you are up to something After I send the picture I noticed he immediately opens it. I wait.

It’s the forest again but from a different angle. I have more interesting things other than plotting against you. In the picture there is more of the grass and less of the tress; spread across of it I can see his legs as if he was sitting on the ground. I recognize the pajama pants like the ones he uses more often on Watford. Another comes in, just the grass this time. It might be shocking for you Snow, but the world doesn’t revolve around you.

It doesn’t have to be against me I roll my eyes and take another picture of the roof again. There isn’t too much in this room really.

You can sleep in peace, and leave me alone Snow. I’m not plotting. He shows me the sky again, with the top of the trees touching the stars this time.

I frown staring at my phone. What are you doing then??

I already told you it’s none of your business. It’s just his feet are surrounded by grass this time, he is standing this time. Besides, shouldn’t you be cuddling with Wellbelove instead of bothering me?

Penny would definitely tell me not to do this. And she would be right (she is always right). He is the last person I should tell this. Nobody but Penny knows, Baz should not be the second one. But Penny is not here. We broke up. I send it. He opens it but doesn’t respond immediately like before. I get anxious, just when I am about to do something I get the snap.

It’s the forest from afar. It looks different from the forest in Warford, it almost looks more daunting. Maybe the forest is not so bad after all. That’s what you are doing up at 2:43 am then! Moping.

I roll my eyes, hearing his mocking tone in my head. I take a photo of me showing him my middle finger.

I laugh quietly at his answer. Oh, please don’t take a selfie. It’s enough with seeing it every day at Watford. Just his feet again, but this time it’s not grass, it’s carpet instead. He is back his house then. I sigh.

I go back to show him the end of the bed. It’s not like your face is much more pleasant That’s a lie. He has always looked better than me. Not that I’m going to make his ego bigger.

That’s harsh coming from someone texting me at 3 am. His roof is so tall, that I can barely see it in the darkness. Another comes in same picture. As much I enjoyed this little conversation Snow, I need to sleep. You should try it, maybe beauty sleep is what you are missing.

I take another picture of me, sticking my tongue out this time, just to annoy him. Goodnight Baz

Not expecting an answer, I stand up to leave my phone charging. Halfway there, my phone vibrates.

His hair is spread across the pillow, it looks darker, and I see the bump of a half bun. He is mid-rolling his eyes, still, there is a small smirk hanging in his face. The rest of his features loos more intense under the poor light, anyway I noticed the tiniest pigment of pink in his cheeks and lips. My eyes follow to his next, and that small exposed part of his chest.

Goodnight Simon.

He called me Simon.

#simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz fic #snowbaz fanfiction #carry on #carry on fanfiction #carryonsimon #agatha wellbelove #Penelope Bunce

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hq-au · 7 years

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(warning for NSFW content: nothing explicit/graphic, but it’s there)

So this is messy and uneven, but I’ve been working at this for a full month now and I’m not sure how much longer it’ll take before it’s fully satisfactory. I’m tired. (I also might expand this into an original work at some point in the future, idk)

Under Read-More for length

AU where Hinata is an explorer traversing the cosmos, a nomad mapping the uncharted wilds of space in his trusty, silver rocket.

On a barren desert planet, when he explores the landscape, he’s attacked by a shifting black mass that leaps out from the shadows of a sandstone stack. Before he can react it wraps around him, and as he struggles to pull it off it gets into his spacesuit and bonds to him. The alien winds around his face and he starts suffocating, before retracting moments later, allowing him to breathe again.

He rushes to his rocket to utilize his safety shower unit, and, walksuit half-undone, is about to douse himself with chemicals when he hears it speak.

A tense conversation follows in his mind, with the alien communicating telepathically. It tells him it’s weak, and needs to subsist on others to survive. Hinata knows what kind of alien this is, and is furious and scared. As his hand lays onto the tap toggle the alien pleads with him for a week, just a week. After that he can do what he wants, but it doesn’t want to die, not yet.

Hinata pauses, at the emotions it’s displaying. There’s an anguish and sincerity to it that catches him off-guard. He stops trying to turn the faucet, and, against his better judgment screaming at him, he starts thinking it over. Seeing an opening, the alien doubles its entreaties, until finally Hinata gives up and agrees, growling a frustrated sigh. He looks back at the faucet, and in a few seconds comes to a decision. “If you want to live,” he tells it, “Get inside my suit. Don’t come out.” Then he screws his helmet on again, and throws the tap.

It’s several hours later, and he hasn’t moved from where he sat down after finishing the sanitizing of his suit. He’s running on canned oxygen. His suit has vents and air filters he can switch to, but he’s worried about germs and other particles that the system may not know and recognize, or may slip past through sheer lack of size. There’s not much he can do inside the suit. He’s occupied himself first by uploading the data he’s captured so far of the planet, and then by running diagnostics on his ship. Everything is tip-top, as he likes to keep it. Much of it is run by switches and gauges, and the keyboards controlling the rest are glove-friendly in event of pressure loss. He can handle these things. But he’s already gone over nearly every procedure listed in the manual, and he’s got a long week ahead of him if this is what it’s going to be like. He’s bored and antsy. And he knows that, sooner or later, he’ll have to use the water closet. Unlike the entry passage, the seal on that door isn’t airtight or Clean, and he’s not sure how he’ll keep the rest of the ship free of contamination. He bounces his leg to vent some energy.

«You seem uncomfortable» the alien muses. "I'm fine," Hinata says, tersely. «You can change, if you want» the alien says. «I'm already on you.» "I'm worried about contamination!" Hinata snaps. Then he purses his lips in frustration, mentally cursing himself for giving that bit of info away. If the alien knows it could be a biohazard merely by virtue of its existence, there’s no telling what it might attempt. The alien though, for its part, seems to retreat at Hinata’s words, or maybe his musings, pulling back and receding from his mind. Hinata quashes the shadow of guilt that pangs in his chest, takes a deep breath, and continues bobbing his knee.

It’s been two days. Hinata has accepted, through lack of choice, that he won’t be able to keep his ship Clean and himself alive at the same time, and has given up on the endeavor. He’s not an android; he has needs. He’d boxed up what he could inside the few airtight containers he keeps aboard, and resigned himself to exposing the rest to contamination, or at any rate the possibility of it. He keeps inside his spacesuit as much as he can, but even that’s getting tedious, and he’s not sure how much longer he can bear it.

It’s night on the fourth day when the alien appears in his dreams. It has a humanoid shape, but the details are all wrong, and Hinata wants to scream, or throw up, from the uncanny valley effect. Maybe do both. “Why are you here?” he asks in terror. «I want to talk» it says, eyeing him with blank sockets and unknowable intentions. It wends toward him, and Hinata screams, primal, at it to leave. It then vanishes in a cloud of smoke, his subconscious takes over, and he spends the night’s remainder in more comforting sleep.

«Please» the alien begs. “It’s been a week,” Hinata says. «There’s nothing for me out there!» “A deal’s a deal!” He struggles to get dressed, the alien making it difficult for him. He manages to pull a shirt on over his head, and black tendrils squirm out from inside the sleeves, twisting and twitching in agitation. «Just a little more time!» it pleads. The alien wraps itself around his body a little tighter, caressingly, but the sensations caused by its movements, so liquid, so foreign, so alien, only nauseates him. “No, we agreed on a week, and that was bad enough as it is!” He tries to pull the black mass off himself, but, desperate to keep its foothold on him, it only stretches. “Get off me!” he shouts in aggravation. «But I’ll starve!» it blasts in his head, at a volume that makes him wince. «I can’t go yet!» Hinata finally manages to get his walk-suit on, and, sealing his helmet and respirator into place, stumbles into the entry passage, his movements made uneven as the thing winds itself around his ankles. In a desperate bid for survival, the alien begins thrashing about around him, and manages to work portions of its body through the seams of his suit. It quickly expands outward, tendrils flying through the air as it searches for purchase anywhere it can. It grabs onto the surfaces and corners of the entry passage, and Hinata finds himself struggling against a web. Inky ribbons of black wind and stretch around his limbs and do their damnedest to keep him immobile, pulling his arms back every time he reaches for the latch, and by the time he manages to overpower them and get it open, the creature’s managed to compromise the seal of his helmet. «I’m sorry» it says over and over again, as it cracks the glass for good measure. «I can’t go yet, I’m sorry!» Realizing that if he goes outside, he’ll now suffocate too, Hinata is momentarily stunned into motionless. Then with a fury he switches direction and flings himself toward the safety shower. The alien, reading his thoughts, panics and lets go of the walls, and contracts around him. The tendrils twist and braid around his limbs and snake inside his suit, searching for any way to impede his movement. One suddenly wraps around his groin, and Hinata gasps despite himself at the sensation, momentarily losing focus. The alien, not understanding what it did but seeing the opening, takes the chance to instantly bind him up, and he falls to the deck with a thud, his limbs all but hogtied. Hinata curses it out, thrashing impotently on the floor, until the alien realizes it can shut him up with a gag to his mouth, and then a thin film stretches taut across his face, slowly depriving him of oxygen until he blacks out.

He isn’t getting rid of the alien any time soon, he realizes. Hinata is furious, unsettled, and powerless in the situation. He doesn't know how much time its species needs to fully bond to a host organism, but he's sure a week isn't much less; he can feel the thing sinking its roots into him, embedding itself deeper into his body by the day. The alien’s now had 240 hours, give or take a few, to wriggle deep enough in him to ensure that, if it doesn't want off, it's probably not going to come off without a lengthy procedure at best. And the thing has made it pretty clear that it doesn't want off. Ironically, the alien’s demeanor has been one of timidity and placation, or at least of gestures of them---whatever its deeper-lying feelings are---and its attempts to placate him form a juxtaposition with its unrelenting, ever-tightening grip on his form so surreal that he, sometimes, almost thinks that he’s dreaming. «What is that?» the alien asks, bubbling up around his neck. “Ack!” Hinata chokes, and snaps at it. “Do you mind?!” The alien immediately shrinks away, but after a moment extends a portion of itself outward, hovering mid-air, craning for a look at the object in his hands. It asks again, though with a more hesitant tone of thought. “What, this?” Hinata asks, calming down. “It’s a book.” He’s on his knees and hands, rummaging through some of his older possessions in an effort to sort them out. He’d been hoping to find something specific and sentimental, but it doesn’t seem to be among the detritus. «What’s that?» the alien asks. Hinata’s lips parts to answer, when he realizes he has no idea how to explain something so rudimentary. His mind scrabbles for several seconds, then, at a loss for an answer, he gives a tired sigh, shuffles over to the captain’s chair, and pulls open an online dictionary on the ship’s computer.

Hinata stares at the ceiling above his bunk. Grey half-light swathes him gently, a combination of the planet's dawn and the UV filters and slats on the windows. He woke up half an hour earlier, but getting up would require an effort he hasn't wanted to make. Outside, the planet's sun is already bathing the rocky, windswept surface in light, though at its far-off distance hardly keeps the temperature above freezing. Hinata has kept the artificial Earth-environments system running on his ship since he first touched down. The planet turns slowly, the days are long. He needs to promote proper sleep cycles if he's to stay healthy and stave off exhaustion. Exhaustion leads to worse maladies, and maladies are hard to treat in space. He lies unmoving inside his bag and his sheets, swaddled up comfortingly to his neck in front, and his scalp behind, but he feels movement around him. He feels the alien bonded to him wriggling, subtly, shiftingly. So this is it? He thinks, staring blankly with half-lidded eyes. Is this my life? The cabin is silent, the winds outside drowned out with three layers of insulation in the hull. Hinata realizes he’s been holding his breath, and sucks in oxygen. He holds it five seconds, then exhales. This is is life now. His body is no longer his own. How will this affect his health? Will it affect his mind? He feels these and other questions being thought in his mind, in a disconnected fashion, but he can't bear to concentrate any hard on them. He is not alone, he is not in charge. The axis around which his entire universe has spun for so many years has suddenly, violently, and probably irreparably, shifted, and he doesn't know how to cope with the fact. Part of him wants to break down, while another wants to rage, but most of him just feels numb. The emotions he wants to feel are too big, too overwhelming, and for the moment shock has taken over, and he's detached from himself. On a mental level he knows he's in shock, but even that knowledge feels hazy and faraway, as if he's accessing it from another plane of existence, or from an altered state of consciousness. Moving his body would mean accepting and claiming it as his own, the body that, host to a new, living, entirely separate organism, is barely his. He can't bring himself to doing that, just yet, so he lies motionless and cocooned in his wool-silk blend sheets and his polyethylene sleep sack, and dissociates, staring wanly at that familiar sculpted ceiling. The metal above his head seems clearer somehow, the texture somehow more polished, more visceral. It's the same bulkhead he sees every morning and night, the same piece of plating he's been familiar with for the past nine years. There's nothing different about it, and to think so is absurd. Nevertheless, it looks clearer somehow, as if his eyesight has improved.

The alien proves itself insatiable. It started with a few simple questions; once Hinata had answered those, it was like a switch had been flipped, and he soon found himself in an onslaught of queries and questions in his mind, a veritable flood that he found himself having trouble even keeping his head above at times. He realizes the alien might have more raw intelligence than he has himself, which is an existentially daunting realization (as well as a rather depressing one on a personal level, if he’s being honest); regardless, it’s voracious, and the more it learns, the more it wants to know.

“How did you even end up on this planet?” Hinata asks, incredulously, one day, interrupting the alien’s latest stream of questions. He’s sitting in the cockpit, uploading the latest of his forays’ data onto the computers. He’d rooted around the day before until he’d found his old spare suit, almost from his cadet days, stowed away in a compartment, and has been using that for data capturing. He has a job to do, and nothing short of a life-or-death emergency is going to stop him. He watches the loading animations tick, as the data transfers, with bored detachment. The alien, taken aback at the question, falls into an uncharacteristic silence. «I was born here» it says. «No---!» it starts a split-second later, realizing its error. «I---....I don’t remember... .» The voice Hinata hears in his head takes on a dreamy, abstract quality, and he becomes momentarily unguarded in his surprise. Without acknowledging his change, the alien continues after a few moments. «I...I think I came here, on a host» it says after thinking, mentally reaching toward far-away memories. “And what happened to the host?” Hinata queries, feeling confused. «I don’t know...» it replies. «Don’t remember. It seems.....a long time ago..» Hinata pauses a moment, pursing his lips slightly. His mouth then parts, opening almost of its own accord. “How did you survive?” he asks. His voice, without even meaning to, comes out gentler than what he’s used in the entirety of their interactions so far. The alien pauses a second to think. «I hibernated» it says thoughtfully.

The alien asks about him a lot too. Hinata describes his childhood with his family in Japan; and then has to explain family units and how nations work after being asked what “family” and “Japan” are. When he talks about the language barriers he faced, when first arriving in the international, multicultural environment of outer space, and how hard it was to learn even passable English (not to mention Russian; he’s still not sure which was worse), the alien asks what “language” is, and he has to describe those as well. He relies on online thesauri and dictionaries more than he’s had to in years, and it’s frankly exhausting. Ironically, though, the one question he couldn’t answer was far from the most technically difficult: at one point the alien asks what “Sex” is, after a discussion about families; Hinata, having been single for years, can only splutter, and, face flushed, pull up an article for the alien to read, and then clamp his eyes shut in embarrassment.

The questions open up space between the two beings though, and begin bridging the gulf that existed between them. Slowly, Hinata begins to see the other as a person, of sorts, rather than a creature. A they rather than an it. With the new leeway, the alien makes attempts at becoming more cozy and familiar with him, testing the limits Hinata wants to keep, toeing the boundaries he tries to erect. It makes jokes and quips, and with its rudimentary understanding of human humor they fall flat as often as not, but in its attempts Hinata begins to understand that they have a wicked sense of humor. He’s not sure whether to even be amused or scandalized, half the time. He’s had to shut it down more than once, but the alien inevitably recoils whenever he shows real anger; it seems to enjoy teasing for the fun of it, and doesn’t truly mean to upset him.

There’s a bustle of activity in the cockpit. Hinata uploads the last of the data he’s captured to file storage, and then checks the displays for the fuel feed lines. Working. He starts up the injection feed, and hoses elsewhere get to work. «What are you doing?» the alien asks, noticing the unusual verve in the other’s movements. “I’ve finished mapping this region of the planet,” Hinata says. “I have to move on to the next quadrant.” He continues checking his displays, making sure his systems are working properly. His movements are quick, practiced, fluid; the product of years’ worth of experience. The manual procedures are long memorized by now, and their physical copies lie neglected in the cockpit’s storage compartment, kept around only for prudence’s sake. Hinata reaches up and checks the breakers, circuits and systems above his head, half standing from his seat to reach, head tilted as his gloved fingers hover an inch beneath the displays, halfway to the switches already---then, satisfied that everything’s in order, flicks the toggles one by one, with a practiced air. «What does that mean?» the alien asks, as he settles back into his seat. Hinata pauses in punching in new coordinates to his navigator. “Do you really not know that?” he asks. For gods’ sake, he arrived here in a spaceship. «No, I meant, What does it mean for “us”» Ah, he thinks. Hinata unlocks the final control column. “It means,” he says “That we’re going for a ride.” He shifts the engine column into gear, swiftly and with a flourish, and locks it into place, then steadies his grip on the yoke. The ship hums as the engines roar to life, and then, as he activates the thrusters for takeoff, that familiar warbling noise cants upward in pitch, evening out as it builds in frequency. The ship slowly rises into the air, its landing gear retracts, and then, as Hinata pushes the throttles forward, and, defying gravity, the ship accelerates, it sings.

His attempts to set ground rules are largely fruitless, and Hinata feels like he’s slowly suffocating. His several attempts at ridding himself of the alien entirely have failed as well, with its ability to read his thoughts hindering any chance he has of surprising it. It appears in his dreams, trying to reach out to him with attempts at human form, but though no longer terrifying, putting up with the alien during his days is horrible enough, and he always shouts it away.

He’s had to start taking iron supplements and vitamins, with the creature leeching off him, and the bottles are old supplies. Almost finished off. He’s going to have to restock soon, and Hinata’s not sure how or where he’s going to manage that without cutting into, and thus likely failing in, his present mission. The Alien asks him what the pills are when he takes them. He ignores it. He focuses on his work, and tries his best to tune the living bodysuit out.

It’s about two and half weeks after first contact when Hinata finally caves in to a more primal urge, and takes some time to himself one evening, after his work for the day is done. Too amped up to go to sleep, and too exhausted to accomplish anything worthwhile, he gives in to baser instincts, and sets to work. That’s when it decides to cut in. «What are you doing?» it asks. “Nothing,” Hinata says irritably. He grits his teeth and concentrates. «It doesn’t seem like nothing» the alien says, having the gall to actually sound smarmy. A few tendrils bubble into view, and cling thinly to his forearms. Hinata shudders, but otherwise ignores it, and picks up the pace. «Seriously, what are you doing.» Hinata keeps silent, only tightens his fist around himself, trying to physically distract himself. The alien keeps needling him though, and finally he shouts “Masturbating! God!” He growls in frustration. He waits for the alien to say something, anything more, but no comments are forthcoming, and after a moment, he goes back to work. A few moments pass in silence. «Is that related to sex?» It asks, on intuition. Oh, Jesus and Buddha both. “Yes!” Hinata shouts impatiently, then amends “Kind of!” He throws his free hand in the air in a gesture of frustration, then lets it fall to his lap with a smack. “I gave you that article to read!” «I can’t read your languages» it reminds him, dryly. His other hand stills, and then as the realization washes over him Hinata sighs in exasperation and pain. He wants to cry, just a little. There’s an ungodly pause, and then the creature breaks the silence with an even worse question: «Can I help?» The question is awful enough on its own, but what brings it to its surreal, horrifying apex is the tone it has attached: tinged with something like hunger. It’s a very specific emotion Hinata is familiar with, one that is so unsettlingly human that it makes him crack. “Go away!” he screams, “just leave me alone!” The alien retreats from him then, mentally at least, and disappears from view as well. Hinata doubts it’s left him entirely, but while he thinks he can feel the other’s presence, he can’t actively sense it. He pants and sucks in deep breathes, trying to regulate himself to a normal mode of breathing again, and, after a minute or two, he feels calm enough to continue where he’d left off. It’s start and stop for long while, his frustration cutting into his fantasies continually with worse images, but eventually he brings himself over the edge, and with release finally finds some semblance of sanity.

The alien makes a grand declaration one day, not long after, that it will study Hinata’s native tongue, and then makes an admirable attempt at it, considering it thinks mostly in concepts, has no knowledge of any alphabet, and needs each kanji it comes across explained to it. Hinata puts up with it for a little while, teaching him some basic words, and then his patience runs out and he says enough’s enough.

With the rudimentary knowledge it’s thus gained of Japanese though, the alien then names itself Kuroo, after its coloration. They have conversations a lot. Hinata takes to sleeping more to reduce the stress his body is under, working for two. Kuroo asks about Earth and its cultures, and the more it learns the more excited it gets. It practices the human form it projects in his consciousness, refining it with every new scrap of information it learns. The man Hinata sees in his dreams is devilishly handsome, with a tangled mess of jet-black hair and a roguish grin, is flirty and goadingly handsy, and, worst of all, underneath it all an absolute dork.

Hinata’s shoulder feels stiff. He must have slept on it wrong. He moves his hand to his shoulder to massage it, only to feel the wet, sticky embrace of Kuroo's body pooling over the bone beneath his shirt, having read his mind and beaten him to the punch. «Let me massage it» Kuroo says, pleadingly. Without waiting for an answer, it begins dragging its mass back and forth across the ridge and blade of Hinata’s shoulder, expanding and contracting, tightening and loosening, massaging and digging in. Kuroo's surprisingly good at it, it being its first time. “That's enough,” Hinata says, “I'll do it.” Kuroo says nothing, only bubbles in response, and starts massaging harder. “I said that's enough!” Hinata cries, and grabs at the black goo. He yanks hard, and the black puddle morphs into many long, sticky strands which fight against him, pulling taut in a desperate attempt to hold together. Several of the strands snap, and the remnants in Hinata’s palm curl up and wrap around his hand, pulling tight against the back and around his fingers, and squeezing tight. It feels disconcertingly like a hand is holding his own. A beat. The mass of black on his shoulder quivers for a moment, Kuroo hesitating, and then afterward a few strands rise up and slowly, gingerly wrap around Hianta’s hand and pull it down to his shoulder. A tendril coaxes at Hinata’s knuckles, and then he takes the hint and starts massaging his shoulder, like he’d meant to from the start, sighing in aggravation while he does so. «Good host, best host» Kuroo placates. «There there».

Kuroo’s presence has enveloped his life. The alien is cloying, and needling, pestering him for attention and annoying him when it doesn’t get it. And horrifyingly, Hinata finds he’s getting used to it.

It’s only temporary, Hinata thinks over and over, a chant to keep himself sane. Just until I find a place that’s safe to leave him. That rules out most planets, of course; pollution of alien ecosystems is the sin among cardinal sins, for those in his walk of life, and he takes his responsibilities seriously. He plans to keep him under watch until he can drop him off with some force of authority. And then, one day, he realizes that would be a death sentence; either to be carried out by an officer’s blaster, or else by some laboratory scientist’s electron scalpel.

The weeks turn into months. Hinata, finished with that barren dust-bowl, restocks at a depot and moves on to another planet. Then another. Unwilling to drop him off on some living, breathing planet where he could disrupt a foreign ecosystem, and unable to strand him on some dead rock without an environment to speak of, Hinata’s kept his passenger around. Kuroo’s presence has become routine, and an accepted part of his life. His silly goading and his inquisitiveness become familiar and comfortable, and enjoyable as ways to chase boredom off during their days.

Hinata wears his suit in most cases, when he leaves his ship. He’s never able to find out for certain if the alien is a contamination risk, as doing so would involve the kind of lengthy, scientific procedure requiring his removal from Hinata’s body entirely---a separation which might well kill them both---and, unwilling to risk Kuroo’s safety for some environmental peace of mind, has opted simply not to take chances. His occasional visits home are one of the few exceptions, and Hinata always, after reminding Kuroo to stay put inside him, makes sure he’s sanitized himself thoroughly before touching down. Wearing spacesuits on Earth attracts suspicion, but he takes every other precaution to compensate; his mother and sister are too dear and precious to him to risk bringing any illness upon them or their neighborhood.

True to his nature, Kuroo is very tactile, whenever Hinata allows it, and over time has kept Hinata company on more than a few lonely nights. One day, chatting with an acquaintance about the work he’s been doing while on-station, he’s asked if he’s lonely, and he realizes he’s not.

One day, Hinata realizes, Kuroo’s become something like a boyfriend.

Hinata sits in front of the control panels in boxers and a ratty tee, sipping coffee as he runs the standard diagnostics. A golden-yellow sunrise filters brightly through the retractable slats drawn down inside the cockpit, carving the flight deck in chiaroscuro on their latest planet. «You’re up early» Kuroo voices inside his head, «and looking pretty as ever.» “Good morning, Kuroo,” Hinata says with an amused sigh. Kuroo seeps out of his body in fractions, extending tendrils to look around. «What are you doing?» is the question posed. “Checking systems,” Hinata answers. «Nothing serious, I hope?» Kuroo asks. He pools his body onto Hinata’s chest, and Hinata can feel his weight settle over him. “Nah,” Hinata answers, “It’s all clean as a whistle.” He almost manages to sound humble about it. «So, nothing I can’t distract you from, then» Kuroo conjectures. A few ropy strands of his mass extend outward, and one pulls at the waistband of his underwear, while another inches downward inside. “I suppose not,” Hinata says nonchalantly, trying to appear blithe, pretending his act can’t be seen through by a creature that sees his mind. «Good» The strand around him thickens, and soon begins its gentle, interminable caresses. Hinata is stubborn, but his composure cracks soon enough, and the soft gasps and sighs he gives, in the soft blue glow of the displays that illuminate them both, is music to his lover’s ears.

#kurohina #hinata shouyou #kuroo tetsurou #symbiote!kuroo #haikyuu #au #Scifi #didn't use the word symbiote once in the story #idk if the term symbiote is copyrighted but they can't sue me if I don't use it!

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systmgltchs · 6 years

Text

sYsTm gBbRsH: letting go

I don't know exactly how to start. Gah. The last few days of the 2018 had been very exhausting and enlightening to me. Thus, the struggle to write about this. Fuck.

Over the past few years, I've been starting to let go a lot of things in my life. I've let go of a lover, abusive and toxic friends, toxic relatives, bad habits, pets I really loved, ambitions, and a few more things. Although every goodbye crushed me completely, I came to learn that clearing up real estate in my life has been very freeing and shed some light on who I really am and who I really want to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a coward when it comes to letting go, but each time I run away or get left behind, I become braver walking this world alone. Everytime it's the same: you're gonna have to struggle at the beginning, but as time runs its course, you get used to it and you get stronger.

Which is why this time, I am ready to let go a decade of friendship with someone. And also limiting my energy and emotional efforts to a few others. Let me tell you how I got to this point.

I'm well-aware of her quirks since we've known each other for a long time. She's smart, eloquent, outgoing, fun, charming, and a goofball. I also know her bad parts, she's a bully, high-maintenance friend, sensitive Piscean, and a social climber. For years, I loved her for and despite all these things.

However, things changed since December 2017 at our circle's year-end party. I was then broke, tiny bit depressed, delayed in college, and still recovering from a breakup and my encounter with an abusive friend. My circle was one of the only best things left in my life so I really was excited about the trip. However, I had financial problems, and she came to the rescue. Treated me. I was grateful. And so we went.

It was all fun at first, but that didn't last long. Before we left our house after a whole night of preparations and shenanigans, I already feel something is off. But of course, being grateful for the treat and the excitement, I disregarded my hunches. I still gave in to the fun.

And so we go to the end of the road. I was bullied. The worst bullying I've ever experienced so far. Every damn time I open my mouth or try to help with the food and other stuff, she and my other friend either pokes fun at me or completely dismisses me. I was really upset. I don't know what I did to deserve this treatment. They thought it's fun. They thought it's no big deal since I am the introvert of the group and perhaps, the most submissive type. And the worse part is, since I was treated for the trip, I think it would be ungrateful for me to call them out or walk out. God, I don't even have the money to go home. So I just kept my mouth shut. I was silent. It was getting hard to hide my anger and frustration.

So to cope, I smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Whenever my hands are empty, I smoke. And they hated it deep down. Well, not all of them, but I'm sure she does. And so my lighter got lost. I'm sure she had it. Kept it. At first, I had no idea where it fucking was the next morning. I even asked the boys to find it with me. Nothing. I had a hunch that she took it because she have shown hate for my smoking the most explicitly among my friends. Hell, I don't even smoke at their faces. I usually smoke far away. But of course, I didn't jump into conclusions. Until, she pulled a move in the most foolish fashion. She handed me my lighter and told me she found it at the place where we scanned the most and has the least mess in our area. Total bullshit. So I took it. I was really upset. Smoking is a coping mechanism for me. Fuck. This is the only thing that kept me sane not only the entire trip but also to my crumbling life and she took it away from me. I was so angry. But yeah, got to keep it together. I've been more silent than ever. But I have already shown irritation.

I was so tired after the entire trip. I was also blind on the way home because the frame of my glasses broke. What a lucky bastard I am! I stopped talking to them for days. Didn't even bother to postprocess and upload the photos early. Because wtf, all that trip has given me is trauma. I've been friends with them for years, and I've never experienced such disrespect. The only good thing I can only think of from that trip is my self-control. Glad I didn't snap because my anger is so explosive it can immediately burn bridges. And I think theirs too.

I can never forget that experience. But because our friendship is strongly bonded and run by our yearly reunions and our colorful high school life, I chose to cool down and repressed that memory a little. So I uploaded the photos, laughed, and went on like before. But I know it's never going to be the same. As much as I want to forget, that's not me.

Fastforward a few months. We had another gathering. Unfortunately, I came early, and guess what, she's also an earlybird. So of course, the obligated small talk. Then suddenly, she changed the topic to the trip. She told me she was aware of what she did to me and she really was sorry. Hell, creepily, she even mentioned one of my Facebook posts that enlightened her to the incident. Ugh. The worst thing you can do to me is make me feel I'm being watched. Of course, as a delicate soul, I focused on her apology. God, I was almost in tears, but I tried hard not to cry. And so, rainbows and butterflies again. Or so we thought.

More months followed and we still had our reunions just like before. I tried to forget all the trauma and stuff but I can't. I also keep noticing that she's struggling to hide her inner bully. She was more calculated to me this time, but I can see a fluke. I realized that there's no going back to that trip on the fateful day of December 30th year 2017. I'm never getting any closer. And as much as I want her not to notice, I can't. I'm no liar. But not giving her a lot of evidences for conclusion that I absolutely am uninterested in being her friend anymore. Just going with the flow for the sake of the rest of our friends and the yearly tradition.

Despite this, a part of me still wants to try. Since we're getting older and mature, I had hopes that she might have changed her ways. Also, there was a lot of time we spent not talking or meeting each other since we've been really busy, so in the meantime, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

And guess what. I was wrong. Changed? Mature? Bitch, she's been slipping behind my back! A few months ago, my friends opened up to me about her. I was blown away. How changed she indeed is. My friend who is a board exam topnotcher told me that he was told by her to ditch the university he went to in his resume. Mainly because, the university doesn't belong to the biggest universities in the country. What the actual fuck. That university was integral to my friend's academic achievements and to all of us since we also went there in high school. That is also the place where our friendship blossomed. And just like that, just because it's not at par with the popular universities, she got the nerve to disrespect my friend's education, well, ours too.

But perhaps you're wondering, how did she get the nerve? Well, because she went to college in one of the most expensive universities in the province which is also very popular to be the home of the upper class or financially-privileged students. She lived amongst the richest kids, even got a boyfriend. And as much as I hate it to happen, it got in her head. Back in highschool, she was already arrogant and a total bragger (idk if it's a word), imagine what she has become now.

Intolerable. She keeps rubbing in our faces her lavish lifestyle and her rich boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with sharing our successes and breakthroughs in life, but she just can't stop bragging to the point that others' achievements get invalidated or get disregarded. Every opportunity she gets, she brags, and sometimes, we don't even know if they're facts. Sometimes, she brags even if it's unnecessary or does not contribute at all to the conversation. It is getting annoying and even some of my friends agree.

But the worst thing that completely threw me off happened on another December 30th, this time, 2018. She disrespected one of our friends. Now this may completely sound nonsense to them or some, but it really spoke volumes to me as I was talked about the same way in the past by my toxic aunt. She talked about my friend's body correlating to her current romantic relationship and was implying hate on my friend's hesitance on talking about sex. My friend was not around then. God, the disrespect. She was also making a controversy out of our friend's social media posts. What a creep. She haven't even felt bad or sad about her not attending the sleepover. Insensitive.

After that night which is now one of the worsts for me so far, I've never felt more exhausted in my life in a long time. I was so annoyed and disappointed not just on her, but my other friend who joined her in talking shit about our other friend. God. Instead of hitching a ride in her boyfriend's car, I chose to leave early and walk home. Our house was near anyways and I just want silence after a night of useless conversations filled with lust, desperation, and an overwhelming amount of bragging.

That day, I decided to let go. Even if we shared a decade of friendship, I'm very much willing to leave it in the past. This is no longer working and will no longer work. And I hate forcing things because we'll only get even more hurt and carry a heavier baggage in the future. So before some explosive fighting match happens, I am leaving it all.

Also, I can never forgive the trauma she and my other friend gave me. I don't think they're sorry at all. Why? Because they still do it to me. I can feel in my spine how they look down on me. I just feel small around them. But more importantly, I really feel bad for my other friends when they treat them with disrespect or insensitivity. They are so full of themselves that they refuse to see how the others are doing, feeling, their welfare, and their progress. Do you see that as friendship? I don't think so.

I think I've had enough of them already. Thinking about it, I never needed them. None of them ever went the distance to do me a huge favor nor our other friends. And after all those years of keeping them company and making their lives colorful, what ungratefulness they've shown not just to me, but to our other friends.

So.

Goodbye.

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sending-the-message · 7 years

Text

I can't look at my boyfriend's Instagram any more by gregsgurl2001

A week ago, my boyfriend Greg went on holiday to Greece with his family. It was the first time we’d been apart from each other in the six months we’d been dating, and I was missing him terribly.

Before he left, we spent the evening together. I was tearful and needy, and when it came time for him to leave, I didn’t want him to go.

“Make sure you take lots of photos,” I said, sniffling my way through the request. “Keep me updated. I wanna see what a great time you’re having.”

Greg smiled. “Got a surprise for you. Check your Instagram.”

I pulled up the app on my phone. Sure enough, I’d been followed by a new account; the display picture was myself and Greg. I was kissing his cheek.

“Dude no way, you got an account!” I exclaimed with joy. I maybe loved the photo sharing app a little too much. And now Greg, the guy who sneered at selfies and ridiculed people for posting photos of their dinner, had joined me on the platform.

“Yeah, figured I might as well,” he said. “Can’t fight progress forever.”

And so as his vacation began, I found myself glued to his Instagram account. We talked, of course, by text and via email, but seeing him having fun meant a lot to me. There were photos from the airport, photos on the plane, photos when he touched down in Greece. A photo of Greg and his family - his mom, dad and sister Sarah gathered round as Greg held the phone out in front of them.

I made sure to Like them all, and comment on every one. A bunch of our friends had followed Greg too, and as usual with Instagram, he quickly accrued a number of strangers following him as well.

‘Miss my hot boy xxx’ I posted on a particularly stunning selfie of Greg striding topless across golden Greek sands.

‘Your mom is SO CUTE <3 <3 <3 xxx’ I squealed, at a picture of the two of them together.

‘Lol, look at that guy looming in the background xxx’ I remarked, on a picture of Greg, Sarah and their dad standing in a square in Athens.

That night, Greg was able to call me for the first time since he’d gotten to Greece. We engaged in the usual lovey dovey greetings, talked about how much we missed each other, that sort of thing. I listened as Greg told me about some of the legends he’d met in Greece; a few of older college kids who were on vacation from the States, an old French guy who claimed to be a famous author but wouldn’t say who, and Greek girl he and Sarah had met, Karis, who Sarah had become fast friends with.

“Make sure you post plenty of photos of them on Instagram!” I exclaimed enthusiastically.

Greg hesitated for a moment, as if thinking about something. “Uh, speaking of Instagram, I could not see that guy you were talking about,” he said, laughing nervously.

“Oh I dunno if he was a guy really,” I said. “Just some figure looming in a doorway right in the back. Not really a big deal.”

I could imagine Greg shrugging. “Babe. I am missing you so much,” he said. “You wanna know what I’m really missing about you?”

I giggled. I could guess. Greg proved me right, and we engaged in a bit of flirty talk for a while until finally he said “Oh shit, I gotta go” and that was that.

The next day I waited eagerly for eleven AM my time, the usual time that Greg got back to the hotel of a Greek evening and was able to access the wifi to upload his pics.

There were a number of beautiful landscapes, some tourist spots near Athens, a few picture of Greg’s new buddies. Then there was a picture of Greg, Sarah and a girl who was tagged as Karis.

I was so enamored with the cuteness of the photo that I almost didn’t notice the figure in the background of the photo. The selfie had been taken with the camera pointing down a street, and behind the trio stood a dark, shadowy figure who appeared to be approaching them, maybe thirty feet away. I squinted, confused. The lighting and shadows didn’t match up with how the figure appeared. It was as if they and only they were enshrouded in darkness. It was weird. A costume, maybe?

I commented on the post. ‘Omg there’s another dark figure. Watch out, baby! Can’t wait for you to be back and in my arms… and elsewhere ;) xxxxx’

An hour or so later, Greg replied to my comment. ‘Lol u and ur dark figures. U cant fool me. Cant wait to kiss u again baby ;;;;) x’

I began to suspect that Greg had doctored the photos somehow to tease me. I was the kind of girl who’d shriek and cling on to him if a movie got even a little scary.

I didn’t hear from Greg for another day. When his next batch of Instagram photos went up, a chill crept up my spine.

In all of the photos showing Greg, there was a dark shadowy figure. The locations changed, but the figure didn’t. The photos had been posted chronologically, and I could see that over the course of the day, the figure had gotten closer. I still couldn’t make out any details. It was as if the camera itself wasn’t able to process whoever - or whatever - this figure was.

I heard creaking outside my room and gooseflesh prickled my skin. From my phone’s screen, the figure seemed to glare out at me, peering over Greg’s shoulder, looking at me.

More creaking. My heart thundered. When my bedroom door swung open, I let out a scream, crawling backwards up my bed. My dad stood there looking bemused.

“Am I really that scary honey?” he asked. “Anyway, just thought I’d let you know mom and I are out for the evening.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Why was I so freaked out by what was probably a dumb joke by Greg? I snatched up my phone, resolute. The most recent photo showed Greg and Sarah with some guys. The figure was just behind the group, maybe a couple feet away at most.

‘Seriously whos that guy? Its freaking me out lol, it’s not funny. Call me when u can, love u bb xxxxx’

Shortly after, Greg replied to my comment. ‘Idk what youre talking about lol, its freaking ME out tho haha, i cant see anyone??? No phone reception text me plz xxxxx’

I texted Greg ‘hello’ and waited. Thirty minutes later, the message hadn’t even been read. I flicked back to Instagram, looking to study the photos again.

A new selfie had been uploaded. Greg and Sarah standing in a bustling street at night, lit by the warm glow from a nearby restaurant. They were both pulling dumb faces for the camera.

I didn’t see the figure at first, but when I noticed it, I let out a gasp and dropped my phone. My hands shaking, I retrieved the device and looked closer.

The figure was clearly right behind them now. It looked to be at least six feet tall, if not bigger. It towered over Greg and Sarah, framed directly between them. I wasn’t sure; it was so blurry, so out of focus, but it looked like the figure was raising an arm, reaching towards them…

I texted Greg again. He still hadn’t read my first message. ‘Please reply,’ I said.

Then, back to Instagram. And another photo. My blood ran cold.

Greg and Sarah were sitting with a lake at their back, moonlight dancing off the water. Both their eyes were open wide in surprise; not fear, not yet, but shock all the same.

I couldn’t see what their mouths were doing. They were both covered, each by a shadowy hand clamped over their jaws. I could just about make out the details of the figure’s fingers now.

This had to be a prank. It had to be. It had to be edited, or one of the college boys they’d met.

Tears stung my eyes. Fucking text me back, Greg!

I texted him yet again, imploring him to contact me. My messages remained unread.

A new photo had appeared on Instagram. It was the same bench, the same lake. But there was nobody in the photo. No indication of who was holding the camera. No sign of Greg and Sarah. Had Greg simply taken a photo of the lake? That meant he was okay, right?

I studied the photo. I froze suddenly, a cry forming in my throat. There, far into the lake, but unmistakable now I’d noticed it, stood the tall shadowy figure. It had its arms down by its sides, its hands hovering just above the surface of the water, palms flat, pointing downwards.

It was hard to see. So, so hard to see. But the more I looked, the more I was sure. The figure’s hands were resting on top of two heads. Two heads which it held under the water.

I began to panic. What should I do? Call the cops? Here, or in Greece? I had absolutely no idea how to reach any Greek authorities, and what if even after all this, Greg was playing a prank on me?

I texted him yet again. ‘This isnt funny. Text me back. Please. Im so scared right now. Please.’

30 seconds later, the receipts showed that my messages had been read. I let out the biggest sigh of relief I’ve ever given. I started laughing and crying at the same time. I could see Greg was typing.

‘Lol sorry’ he said. ‘Everything is fine. Just a prank.’

I couldn’t stop laughing, crying, seething with anger and gasping with relief.

‘Send me a selfie. Just for me,’ I said. ‘I need to see your face. I need to know you’re okay.’

‘You first ;)’ Greg replied. Even then, despite it all, Greg was pushing his luck as usual. I sighed, wiping my eyes. I had no energy to argue. Easier if I just did what he wanted. I snapped a quick picture of my face, my eyes wide and still gleaming wetly, then sent it to him.

I waited for his response, staring at my face on the screen. When I noticed it, the copper taste of adrenaline flooded my mouth. My breath caught in my throat.

There, reflected in my eyes, as if standing opposite me in my room, was a shadowy figure. My gaze flicked up to the wall, heart pounding. Nobody, of course. I was alone. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

My phone vibrated in my hand. I looked down, and I screamed, and I don’t think I stopped screaming for a full five minutes.

The photo had been taken underwater, somehow. In it, Greg and Sarah were suspended there, hair floating loosely in the water. Their eyes were open, unseeing, mouths hanging slack.

Between them floated the figure. But it wasn’t a shadow now. It was bald, its skin waxy and smooth even underwater. Wide yellow eyes with pinpoint irises stared back at me over a nub of a nose. A thin, elongated mouth was stretched out into a half smile. One bony finger, ending in a sharp talon, was pressed against its lips in a ‘sssshhhh’ gesture.

I haven’t forgotten the terror of what happened next to this day. In the photo, the still photo on my screen, the creature blinked at me. Our eyes met, separated by distance and technology. It lowered its finger from its mouth, blinked again, smiled wider, pursed its lips at me in a strange grimace, then with one graceful motion, turned and swum away, leaving the floating bodies of Greg and Sarah bobbing in their underwater graves.

Greg and Sarah were found the next day on the bank of the lake, drowned. Mom and Dad discovered it from Greg’s parents and broke the news to me gently, but I already knew. Of course I knew.

The photo in my text messages is just a blur, now. You can’t see Greg, Sarah or anyone. And Greg’s Instagram, well, it’s gone entirely. Like it was never there.

But when I look at the selfie I took for Greg, well, that’s still there. And every time I look, it’s changed a little bit. Just a bit, but a change nonetheless. You see, with each passing hour, the figure reflected in my eyes gets closer.

I looked just now. He’s nearly reached me. I can see his wide yellow eyes reflected in mine.

Maybe if I don’t look again, I’ll be okay.

What else can I do?

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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dramatic-dreaming-blog · 7 years

Text

6/4/17

It took place over like 9 years..... it started out where I was at some relative's wedding when I was 14. The wedding was held in some weird mall that had a church in it (or at least the room where the sermons and ceremonies happen... totes forgot the name)

I wss young and got bored so i snuck out the back to play with the really crappy camera I just bought. I was taking blurry shots of the wedding through the stained glass window when I heard giggling and I tied l turned around that quick took a shot of the culprit!!! Which, of course, ended up being Tae. That was the first time I met him!

We both laughed at our surprised faces and tried to shush each other, knowing we'd get in deep doodoo if we disrupted the wedding with our childish mischief. Neither of us said anything, just continued goofing off with the camera until people started filing out from the ceremony. We barely were able to give each other a frantic wave goodbye before we were swept up in the crowd.

The second time we met was about a couple years later. My mom, sister, and i somehow got roped into going to some sort of inspirational speech show thing. I had just turned 17 and thought I knew enough about the world to tune out. I fiddled with my faithful old camera, zooming in on random faces in the auditorium. Eventually I happened across a familiar face!!! Even cuter than before, Tae sat attentively, flashing that boxy grin of his.

Once the event was finished I waited outside the door, hoping to spook that same goofy kid from that boring wedding. Eventually he came out and I gave him a light shove before snapping yet another picture of his surprised face. He seemed to remember me immediately, but he seemingly couldn't find words to say. That's when we figured out the language barrier. Broken English established two things. 1. He's visiting from South Korea and 2. His name was Kim Taehyung

Another year or so passed and in my free time I tried to pick up bits of Korean. You know... just in case. I still had my trusty old camera, and sometimes I'd happen across a forgotten blurry picture of Tae.

It was 2012. I managed to get cheap tickets to a concert I was dying to go to. It was just me who went to the concert, but I was a-okay with that because I was simply so excited! I honestly had no idea that the concert had a supporting act, however.

(Enter Stage Left: BTS)

There were 7 fluffy dark heads and it took me a moment to realize that one of them drew me in more than the others from my great distance. The boys were introduced as an up-and-coming boyband from South Korea with plans of debuting the next summer. Uhhhhhh wait.....what. What crazy circumstance!! I zoomed in with Old Trusty and immediately recognized the one with the craziest smile.

They performed a couple songs, the crowd screaming and cheering the whole time. Clearly their fanbase is already growing! I dug in my purse to find this expensive ass pen I bought the other day to jot down the group's name and info, promising myself to look them up when I got home. As they exited the stage I decided to hell with the rest of the concert!! I needed to quick say something to Tae, because no way was I missing this oportunity!

I crept outside and waited until the boys left the behind the stage doors. (because that was a thing???idk) Tae skipped out and I gave a loud "psst" to get his attention. The big eyesmile and him pointing in my direction was proof enough that he still remembered. I pointed back and we both laughed. We kept pointing at ourselves and then back at each other, still unsure how to overcome the language barrier. Nervous as all HECK and awkward beyond believe I so eloquently said, "Uhhhhh" before making a lame heart with my hand, smiling, and then shrugging.

*cue more laughter from us both*

I tried, probably in vain, to describe how I was impressed with their performances and how crazy it was that we met again. Soon enough people were yelling his name in obvious attempts to hurry him along. I didn't want to just leave him again with another dumb wave and awkward memories, so for some reason I thought I might as well give him whatever I have that is precious to me. It took a little bit of digging but I found my prized pen and handed it over to him with a thumbs up. My camera was hanging around my neck and with a gesture he agreed he wanted to take a picture. The picture showed us both pointing dramatically at each other.

A year later they debuted. I tried to keep up with the group while still focusing on school, and every now and then I would watch their youtube videos. I found that the members would upload vlogs of themselves. In each one of Tae's vlogs he would be holding the pen I gave him, twirling it offhandedly with his fingers the whole time. A simple act, but it would make my day after each upload.

In 2014 they toured North America and I saw them in concert. I didn't have the best seats, but I was able to take a couple pictures, proud of Taehyung and the rest. As expected, I couldn't find him afterwords.

2017 rolls around and I'm at another one of their concerts. I was determined with my pit tickets that I would be able to at least make eye contact with this elusive heart throb that haunted me the last 9 years. Indeed, as he walked on stage I jumped and pointed in his direction, the movement enough to catch his attention. He pointed at me before shooting a quick finger heart and a wink. RIP me. Again, we weren't able to meet after the concert.

The last time I saw my childhood crush was by sheer luck. It was a couple months after the concert and for some reason I was stranded in a mall right as it was closing. I'm horrible with directions and I couldn't find an exit as they turned off the lights. Franticly I ran around a corner and literally collided with Taehyung. Even in the dark we knew who each other was right away.

Whispering, I tried to explain in both english and broken Korean that I was lost and that I didn't understand what was going on and "why are you here??". He just chuckled before shutting me up completely by taking my hand and led me across the store we were in. Apparently BTS had free reign to shop at any of the stores after-hours to avoid running into crazy fans, which I tried desperately to deny being. Eventually we came across a door that looked like it would go outside. Upon opening it we realized it was just a balcony and that we weren't even on the first floor in the first place!! How silly. But it was a beautiful starry night, and we were still holding hands, and we both knew without speaking that we wanted to stand outside with each other for a bit.

No dramatic words were heard, no "long time no see"'s, no confessions were said outloud. We just gravitated towards one another until we were hugging, him softly playing with my hair as we watched the sky and pointed at each shooting star. The night was cool but we were warm.

AND THEN MY ALARM WOKE ME UP~~~~~

the end.

#post #text #dream diary

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