#mike and max's circumstances are still very different but like. it's not like having a billy around and being poor is required to be

[maddy-ferguson]

when i said i don't think mike is getting max's storyline next season i was being very literal just like i was when i said mike isn't getting will's storyline. i meant that regardless of what he's dealing with i don't think mike is gonna be tormented by vecna like max was and i don't think he's gonna be kidnapped by vecna/be revealed to have been possessed by vecna like will was either. which doesn't mean i don't think he can be gay (like will) or have suicidal tendencies (like max)

[thegoblinboy]

Never Say Die

You are here | part two | part three | part four

I can’t get this concept out of my head steve being a prisoner instead of hopper and coming back home.

Steve sat in the back of the car, unsure what to expect. Six months. Six months he hasn’t seen his friends, who he considered to be his family if anything. He wished he could say that it had been six months since the last time he seen his parents but that would be a lie. Strange how he could place the date and times when he last seen his real family but yet he didn’t know when he last seen his parents. It was a chilling thought. He doesn’t remember being this nervous about seeing his parents for the first time in a long, long time.

Then again this was under different circumstances. Last time he seen Dustin, Robin and Erica it had looked like he had died. The last time he seen Hopper and Joyce, both of them had been trying to reach them from god knows where with their own personal Russian translator. Now, when he steps out of this car his new life will begin. One that was much different compared to before he “died”.

He was stunned if anything. He doesn’t know how he survived. He had thought the torture he had endured at star court, tied to a chair was bad. Little did he know, the Russians got very creative in their homeland. His body sometimes still aches from his time there. Though, he’s been through hell and back nothing was more scarier then seeing his family again. What if they were different, what if they didn’t want him back? All questions that were bothering him. All questions that disappear the the second he he sees all of the kids gathered together in a drive way. Smiling and laughing as they all help the Byers unpack their boxes into a nicer home then what they had lived in before.

He smiles to himself. He’s unsure if they were told he was coming. He stops the agent in front of him from stepping out. To break the moment he was watching. Lucas was laughing as he carefully holds one hand on the back of Max’s back. Crutches under her armpits as she leans on on foot. Her other leg in a cast, along with one of her wrists. Both of them talking to each other in a way that told him they made it through the little dispute from six months ago. Off to the right of them, stepping out of the van carrying boxes was Jonathan. Handing them to Nancy, who was smiling brightly up at him. Mouth moving as she talked. Next to them, in a bean bag sat a boy with long silky hair. Obviously stoned off his ass as he wore a button down shirt eating pizza. Steve wanted to hear some of what they were saying, he pulls his window down just a smidge to catch Jonathan laughing.

“You know, the pizza was supposed to motivate you helping us carry our stuff in.” Hes looking at the other with a smirk. Steve chuckles softly to himself before his eyes move over seeing Will sitting on the hood of a car. Talking to El, who seemed to have lost all process in her hair growth. Both of them huddled together and talking with serious expressions. Both of their faces cracking into smiles when Mike comes walking over to them. There’s something awkward going on there but it seemed like they were all friends.

The front door of the house opens further, and Steve’s heart stops. Breathing not in his dictionary anymore as he watches Robin Buckley walk out with flying hands. God it was so her, though what takes him by surprise was the fact she was wearing his letterman jacket. How the hell she got a hold of it was beyond him. Then again Dustin must have told her where the key of his house was hidden. Let her in and it warms his heart in a way that doesn’t even make sense to know she wanted something that was his. Her hair is in a Bob and she’s yelling at someone. That someone showing his presence, walking out behind her. Steve’s in a near heart attack and near tears when he sees Henderson walking out with a cap on. Hair styled in the way that he had showed him, a hat firmly placed on the top of his head. Mouth moving a mile per minute. Talking right back to Robin. Even from here Steve knew the kid was being obnoxious.

“Come on Robin. It’s not that bad, right Eddie.” The boy turns. Looking for confirmation from Eddie the freak Munson. And Steve really shouldn’t be that shocked that Dustin would find a friend in a drug dealer. If there was trouble in Hawkins, Henderson sure as hell would find it. Steve’s about to freak out, but stops when he sees the amused look on the metal heads face. His hair was much longer then what he remembered it being.

“Sorry dude. Im with Robbie on this one.” Eddie moves a hand playfully moving the others head on his shoulders. None of them noticing the suspicious car on the other side of the street. Next came Joyce, whose hand was wrapped tightly in Hoppers. That was not a shock to see at all. Both of them laughing as they look around at the children. Like Steve had.

As expected, Hoppers eyes land on the car. His face going a bright red as he lets go of Joyce’s hand. Storming forward catching everyone’s attention. Breaking the peace as he looks like he’s ready to kill someone. “Get the hell away from my property. Don’t need the god damn government spying on my daughter. Last warning, next time I’ll -“ his words die in his throat as Steve steps out of the car. Hoppers back blocking the view of everyone behind him.

Steve looks at him with a amused look, holding his side. Body still recovering from his stint in another country. “Wow, nice welcoming home gift hopper.” He laughs. Coughing a little from the bruised rib. Though the bruised rib is nearly the least of his worries as Hopper pulls him into a bear hug.

“Never got a chance to thank you for saving Joyce and the kids. Considering the fact you fucking died.” Hopper gruffly rasps. “Everyone’s going to freak you know.” He warns.

“I know.” Steve says softly. Stepping back with a tight smile.

“Hopper what’s going on?” Joyce is now walking over. Obviously warning the kids to go inside. All of them complaining and bickering as they do. Steve could hear them. Her face pulls into a shocked expression when she sees Steve. “Oh my god.” She gasps as she moves nearly tackling him.

“What is it mom?” Jonathan’s voice is heard from the van.

“Everyone inside now.” Joyce yells. Helping hopper hide steve from everybody. They knew that the second they all seen him, the neighbors attention would be all over them. Something that they didn’t need was for everyone talking about how a whole group of people started sobbing in the middle of the drive way. That and Steve Harrington was supposed to be dead. Word got around, that was all they would need.

When he hears the front door closing Joyce finally looks at him. Looks right through him actually. “Oh god what did they do to you.” She sounded in pain as her hand cups his face. All of them still standing in the middle of the road. Only remembering where they were when a car try’s coming through. Hopper quickly thinks as he pulls off his ugly Hawaiian shirt. Quickly tossing it over Steve’s head. Who starts to gag.

“Oh my god you stink. I shared a cell with a guy who had stomach issues and you somehow stink more then our toilet.” He gags, being dragged up the driveway. Letting Joyce’s hand wrap around his as she moves him to what he assumes is the front door.

“Shut up-“ hopper rasps out.

“Honey, everyone’s going to freak out. Are you ready for this?” Joyce sounded like she was crying herself. Hand shaking in his. Steve felt like his world was just beginning again. Rotating, revolving whatever the earth does. It was happening again for him.

“Yeah.. yeah I’m ready.”

Im thinking about doing a part two though I’m unsure. If I did write more, it would be eventual Steddie. I don’t know if I should though 😭 should I?

[kedreeva]

Was thinking yesterday about how Billy died. About how Billy was always going to die. Not, like "Always" but lowercase always, by the time they got to that scene. He was one of the flayed, still. When they cut off the head to kill the body, Billy was going to die anyway. There wasn't time to save him, then. There were no resources to heat the mindflayer out of him. He was always going to die by that point. They tried to save him, in the sauna, and they failed, and from that point on, he was always going to die because they had no time, no resources, no additional chances.

And I find his arc... interesting, to say the least. Curious, maybe would be a good word? He was pretty terrible as a human being - there's no real arguing that, his actions were his own no matter how badly I feel for the circumstances that brought him to that point. He was faced with a mundane Bad Guy (his father's abuse, being taken from his home environment, being thrust into a social-familial relationship he didn't want at a young age, etc) and turned that into anger and lashing out at people that didn't deserve it. His learned behaviors are aggression against the people who can't fight back. He backs off Max when she does fight back.

Now, in most situations in media where you have this kind of character, if they are presented with additional power, the aggression would just.... scale. No more feeling powerless, once they have power. And having More Power means there are more people who have less power than them. This is where you get the jump from bad person to bad guy to villain. Except... Billy never really made the leap to villain. I'm not even convinced he made it to bad guy, except by force.

Because, and here is where it starts to get interesting to me, when faced with being handed Power by the mindflayer (and granted, there's control involved as well, but fuck man, look at the difference between Henry and Billy when both were there to collect power for the mindflayer), instead of becoming a worse person, instead of becoming a monster, Billy fights the mindflayer every step of the way. He's in there screaming the entire time, and we see it several times. We see him breaking down and exhausted in the sauna, crying for Max (and yes, I think that was genuinely Billy until it wasn't) and trying to tell her he's fighting and doesn't want to be doing the things he's doing. We see him fighting when he's sitting in the car outside the mall; if he wasn't, he'd have rammed into Nancy's station wagon right off the bat. We see him, even REALLY early on, snarl at Karen to get away/stay away from him because he doesn't want to hurt her.

And that's... interesting. It's fascinating to see a character that's faced with mundane evil become a bad person, but then when faced with supernatural evil, they balk and try to become better. Try to become good, even.

And listen, I don't approve of the "sacrifice as redemption" trope in general, I think it's OFTEN a cop out so writers don't have to deal with the intricacies of a bad person/guy/villain becoming better (or at least doing so believably). But at the same time, the kids tried to save him. They actually had a really good plan to try to save him, they gave it an earnest shot, they were very resourceful and clever in their attempt to lure him into the sauna and smoke out the mindflayer to protect Billy. They ultimately failed, and the mindflayer would have killed them for it if Mike hadn't rescued El, but they DID try, and once they had failed, there was no real going back. Billy was going to die from that point on.

And I can't help but think that, you know. Did Billy understand what they were doing? Did that attempt give him any hope? Did he think they would try again, or at least hope they would? At what point did he realize they were out of time? At what point did he realize he was going to die, no matter what? Whenever it was, we see him fight even after that.

Because he fights the whole time. All that time, all the terrible things he did anyway, only for El to touch his cheek with infinite gentleness - and please, remember with me that he has been subjected so far to the raw mind of the true villain of the story so far, the villain that sees El as The Enemy, she is the single strongest force the mindflayer is fighting against, the one enemy he has focused all of his efforts against as the Only One who can stop him, which means that Billy must be aware she is powerful, but after however many days of a fight for his goddamn soul, after witnessing unfathomable horrors with no comfort anywhere, after repeatedly attacking her and then offering her life up to the mindflayer, the kindness with which she treats him, the gentleness, the forgiveness, the utter recognition that she understands this is not him, and perhaps most importantly the knowledge that she thinks there's still time for him to be Good... fuck, man. I'd choose her, too.

He's gotta know he's going to go down, but he's going down either way. They tried. They failed, but they tried to save him. He's repaying the effort. I know it's easy to see what he does, the way he dies, as an attempt to redeem himself through sacrifice. But the more I think about it, the more I think maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was repaying El's kindness- the first genuine act of kindness directed at him from someone that had literally been inside of his head and seen everything he is. How must it feel, to know someone has seen that, seen all of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still touches you gently? Touches the good in you and says that is who you are.

I can't help but think that just maybe he has seen worst side of the most evil thing in their world, and been touched by the love of the best force of good, and he just makes the choice to stop fighting against the mindflayer and start fighting for El. And that's why he can resist so fully in that moment and chooses to do so; not because he's trying to redeem himself, not because he thinks he'll be forgiven, not because he thinks he can win, not because he even thinks he'll survive, but because we are always stronger when fighting for something than against, and he was just reminded he had something to fight for.

Anyway. Having some thoughts again.

[you-usuratonkachi]

I still don’t get why El should break up with Mike,she looks happy with him :/

For me the Duffers can’t write,that’s it

I would have agreed on S3, but S4 brought up the issue of Mike being unable to tell her he loves her and how she feels like he's just idolizing her for her powers and by how that whole issue was handled, it feels to me like his respose wasn't satisfactory in the slightest.

Not only was he unable to tell her he loved her as she expressed her doubts and cried in front of him when she was without powers, when he does tell her he loves her it's prompted by someone else, during a moment of emotional stress, quoting someone else, STILL talking about her powers, when she has her powers back. Not to mention, the whole speech is meant to urge her to fight.

That monologue didn't solve the problem AT ALL. If anything, it confirmed her fears.

Which is why, if I was her, I would break up with him. Because he doesn't seem to understand the problem and that alone would make me feel like he doesn't really love me for ME.

Not to mention his monologue paralleled what papa told her before he died. Since her whole character arc is to leave behind everything that trapped her in her life, to finally find herself, by the way they framed the whole situation with Mike, it also feels like she should leave Mike behind too.

I wouldn't be saying this if they handled S4 differently, but right now? They are not very good together.

I mean, Lumax had that super cute, super simple but meaningful scene where Max laughs after a long time and Lucas goes "I missed it. Your laugh" and it's so powerful because you can tell he SEES her, missed her, they aren't even shown half as much but their relationship got such good development.

Can you imagine S4 Mike telling that to El? Not once did he mention a personality trait or soemthing about her that didn't relate to her powers. He romanticized their first meeting (we see that when he says "It's not fate" too) and talked extensively about what she can do. And when it came to actually talk about who she is, he could only say she's a superhero. Which ties in with the whole am i a monster? doubt she had. Except she already solved that issue. She knows she's not a monster, she left the real monster behind when papa died. She didn't need Mike to tell her that, in fact, he had already told her that when they fought the first time. She needed Mike to love her for something OTHER than that.

He didn't.

He didn't mention one single thing that wouldn't make her doubt his feelings.

The issue she had with him at the beginning of the season? Still there. The difference between his arguments during their first fight and his monologue is just that he added "i love you" (prompted).

So yes, if I was El i wouldn't be happy with that. I would only feel like there's no return. He failed her. Romantically.

She's happy with him because she does love him, but the point here is: does that suffice to keep the relationship going? Is their relationship what she wants? And I think at this point it's not. It keeps falling short compared to her expectations. She feels like she has to be someone "cool" to keep him interested (she lied about her situation when she didn't have her powers).

So yeah, I think to fully find herself and her value beside her powers, she should break up with Mike.

I'm not saying Mike is a bad person (well he wasn't good either this season but that's beside the point), I'm saying he has overly romantizised circumstances (based on what he said) and his inferiority complex doesn't help their situation. They bring each other down without really intending to.

And that's not good for her. She's working on herself, but he needs to work on himself too, so right now they are onto two different pages, and that would most naturally lead to a break up to me.

[autistic-robin]

dysfunctional, angsty el-mike-will fic because i really wanted to write from a byler-aware el’s pov

PART I : EL

The first time she killed the demogorgon, all the way back in ‘83, El thought it was over. The flashing lights sending shadows rippling over Mike’s face, the fear in his eyes as she turned toward the monster, the sound of its screech unfolding around her like Papa calling her name. 

She thought she was gone. But there wasn’t any fear in her, not like there was when she was alone in the lab, not like there was when she hurt Lucas, sent him flying across the junkyard. She was not the monster; she was the sacrifice. She was the protector. Enough, she’d said. No more. She wonders now, three years later in the cold white-walled hospital, how different everything would be if she really had died. Would Max still be alive? Would Mike still be cold to Will? Would Hopper be okay, with just Joyce? She knows it is morbid, but with Max asleep and Mike angry and Will far-away in his head, El feels alone. A small part of her wonders if that is how it was always supposed to be.

She shifts in the waiting room chair, cold leather sticking to her legs. She is waiting for Steve, who is on his way to pick her up. He told her he would be here at four-one-five. Four fifteen. El has been watching the clock on the wall, watching the minute hand tick past three, then four, then five. He is late. 

“Those chairs suck, don’t they?” 

El looks up at the sound of his voice, sees him rushing over to her, looking frazzled. 

|  frazzled: adjective. showing the effects of exhaustion or strain.  | 

“They are not that bad,” El lies, but she still takes Steve’s hand when he offers to help her up. “Where were you?”

He rubs a hand along the back of his neck, apologetic. Guilty. Before Max, El only knew how guilty felt. Now she knows how it looks: shifting eyes, strained smile, weighed-down shoulders. She sees it in Lucas and she sees it in the mirror, every day. 

And now, in Steve.

“Sorry, I was…” he shakes his head, like he’s clearing a thought away. Meets her eyes. “I was helping Little Wheeler with something. He needed some advice.”

El quirks an eyebrow at him. “About Will?”

Steve blanches, blinking a little like he’s Dustin working out a physics problem. “Uh— What do you mean, kiddo?”

He sounds cautious. Careful. El rolls her eyes, feels a small smile tug at her lips. Steve is so oblivious. 

“You really think I haven’t figured it out? I am not stupid. I have seen them together, the way Mike looks at him. I—,”

Steve’s eyes go wide-wide, and El wishes she had Jonathan’s camera. 

“Listen, kid, I swore an oath. Of secrecy.” He shakes his head like he’s clearing a fog. “Doesn’t matter. C’mon, it’s late. I told the others I’d have you back by six today. The Chief’ll kill me if we’re a second later, we both know that.”

He means the cabin. Where El and  Hopper and the rest of the Party have been staying on a “rotational basis,” ever since the rifts opened. That means Mike and Nancy stay over on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Dustin and Lucas stay over on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Weekends are spent at the hospital or Hawkins Middle, volunteering. Hopper and Joyce meet up with Murray to strategize every Sunday night, which means El needs to be picked up from the hospital by someone else— sometimes Jonathan, sometimes Nancy, but mostly Steve. He has a car and the most free time out of all of them with everything that is going on.

El did not know Steve very well before all of this— the apocalypse, the Party is calling it, even though Hopper and Joyce don’t like it when they do. Anyway, whatever it is has changed everything, because now El and Steve are friends. Kind of. 

When they get on the road, Steve pulls a mixtape out of the backpack he carries everywhere. It is a Cyndi Lauper mix that he stole from Robin, and El is not allowed, under any circumstances, to tell her or anyone— Dustin included— that he has it, or her ass is grass. They listen to it every time Steve drives her home. 

“Hurry up, Steve!” El says as he shoves it in the tape-player, and he laughs. The opening synth lines of ‘When You Were Mine’ shake through the car, and Steve rolls down the windows and whoops into the night air, and for a split-second the hot pain lodged behind El’s ribs melts. 

“I know, that you're goin' with another guy; I don't care, 'cause I love you baby that's no lie,” Cyndi croons, and El giggles out the words with her as Steve pitches his voice up comically. He sounds like a dying goose. 

“Steve, eyes on the road!” El shrieks when he closes his eyes to belt the chorus. He snaps to attention, turning the music down against her protests. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, laughing. “Got carried away.”

El rolls her eyes, grinning. Things settle down then, the car going quiet and still as the sky darkens outside. Hawkins is pretty at night, El thinks, no matter what Jonathan says. The sky goes all gray-purple, like Will’s watercolors, and sometimes if she’s lucky, the moon follows them home. Tonight, though, it’s hidden behind the clouds— they are looming and dark, worse than the day the gates opened up. 

El turns away from the window.

By the time they make it back to the cabin, the sky is ink-black outside. Nancy’s car is parked on the dirt path a ways away. Steve rolls up beside it and parks just as the front door of the cabin swings open and El’s dad steps out onto the porch.

“You’re late,” Hopper says gruffly to Steve, shading his eyes against their headlights. 

El hops out of the passenger’s seat and bounds across the space between them, pulling him into a one-armed hug. He smells like coffee and pine needles. There is a permanent furrow in his brow. 

“We were listening to music,” El says by way of greeting. “Got carried away.”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, a gesture El has come to understand is a nervous tic. “Sorry, Chief. You know how the kid gets about Cyndi Lauper. Not that I— I don’t listen to that crap, but… anyway. It won’t happen again.”

Hopper raises his eyebrows. Steve smiles sheepishly. El looks between them. 

“What’s for dinner?” she asks. 

Inside, Joyce is making burrito bowls for everyone— canned beans and tomatoes, pre-packaged rice, things they stocked up on the week after everything went off the rails. They scavenged enough to last them a solid five months, at least according to Jonathan. The Byers family knows how to ration; El learned when they first moved to California. Even though Joyce had a nice new job, they were very careful about saving food. Back then, though, the food was less bland. Now it is an endless rotation of canned vegetables, rice, and “non-perishable” fruit in jars. Pantry staples, Will called them when they explored the remnants of the Quick-Mart on this side of town. 

|  remnants: plural noun. a small remaining quantity of something; a surviving trace.  |

Now, El looks around at the remnants of the people of Hawkins: Joyce, handing dinner plates to Will and Mike; Jonathan, pulling out a chair at the table for Nancy; Hopper and Steve, trailing into the kitchen. Robin and Argyle and Murray will be here soon with the rest of the Party— they’ve been volunteering all day. A calm spills over her as she looks at her friends. Her family. The surviving trace. 

“El, hey,” Will says over the chatter, waving her over. He and Mike are seated at the kitchen table across from Jonathan and Nancy. “Mom’s got a plate for you in the kitchen. How was— how are you?”

There. It’s there again, behind her ribs: the ache. Max’s absence is punching a hole through her, and it’s growing every day. 

El swallows. “The hospital was fine. It was the same. Max is still asleep.”

Mike isn’t looking at her. He pushes his rice around his plate, and the fork makes a screeching sound. El’s hands twitch to cover her ears, but she keeps them at her sides. 

“Well, she will soon,” Will says, his voice quiet but firm. El meets his eyes and is surprised at the fire in them. “I promise, we’re going to fix this, El.”

El feels her expression soften. She knows Will is just trying to help, trying to “boost morale” like Hopper wants them to do, but things have never been this bad before, this broken. And it’s all because of her. 

“Will… we don’t know anything for certain anymore,” she says. 

He sighs, blinking fast, and Mike clears his throat and looks up at El for the first time since she got home. 

“Well, would it hurt to at least try for some optimism? Moping around isn’t going to change anything, El.”

His voice is flat. El steps back, feels her power wake up like a cat arching its back. 

Before she can respond, though, Jonathan slams his glass down on the table beside her. “Don’t start, Mike.”

“Why are you pissed at me? I’m just trying to help!” Mike says incredulously, swinging a hand out in outrage. He knocks Will’s glass over, and water floods the table. “Shit!”

“I’ll get the napkins,” Nancy sighs, and Jonathan shakes his head and follows her. El can hear Joyce and Hopper talking in tense whispers in the kitchen, oblivious.

“Jesus, I’m sorry, Will,” Mike is saying, trying to mop up the water on his shirt. Will is sitting rigidly, like if he breathes the wrong way Mike will run from the table. 

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Will says, his voice tight. Mike recoils like he’s been slapped, dropping his hands from Will’s shirt, and there’s a beat of heavy silence. El stares hard at the water spreading over the placemats on the table. 

“I… El, look at me.”

El meets Mike’s eyes and wishes she hadn’t. He looks the same as he always has, so genuine. Earnest. His face is wide-open with guilt. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” He breathes in, shakes his head at himself. “I just hate seeing you so defeated. I guess I just got angry about it, for a second. But that was no excuse to lash out. And I’m sorry.”

They broke up three weeks ago in the hospital parking lot. It was anticlimactic. El guesses that for Mike, though, the wound has not scabbed over yet. He is looking at her like she is a broken toy, and it makes something in her snap. 

“I don’t care, Mike,” El tells him, even as his eyes widen in shock and a hot flash of guilt grips her. “I don’t have the time to care about your feelings right now.”

It’s the first true thing she has said to him since they ended things. Her voice is not her own, though. It is heavy and hardened by malice. 

|  malice: noun. the intention or desire to cause harm; ill will. |

Mike’s eyes are wet with frustration. Beside him, Will has tensed up; he is staring at El like she is a bomb that’s about to go off. 

Well, she is not. El is not a weapon, not anymore. If she was, Max would be awake right now.  “Enjoy your dinner. I am going to bed early.”

She turns to leave.

“We didn’t kill her, El,” Mike says in a hard voice, and she stops in her tracks as the full weight of the guilt hits her— Max lying cold and still like a broken doll, Lucas’s shoulders shaking with the grief of it, I’m not ready I’m not ready I’m not ready—

Mike keeps talking. 

“I know you think that’s what happened, but it’s not true. There’s nothing either of us could have done—,” 

“Hey,” Hopper cuts in, heading towards them with a wary expression. Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce, and Steve follow him, identical worried expressions on their faces. “Everybody just needs to take a breath.”

“It’s fine,” Mike tells Hopper, still staring at her. “El. It’s not our fault.”

“But we did kill her, Mike,” El says, because he needs to hear it. The rest of the group has fallen scarily silent, but she doesn’t care— can’t. She needs him to hear her, for once. 

“You distracted me. With a lie. You don’t love me, because you never have.”

Mike opens his mouth to retort, but El rolls her shoulders back and says, “No. Let me finish.”

It’s wrong, she knows it is, but El is tired and wounded and wants Mike to feel it. Wants him to understand; this is their punishment. 

“You have never loved me,” El says, her voice a hard, cutting thing, “because you can’t. No matter how hard you try, you can not do it.”

Mike’s chair scrapes hard against the kitchen floor when he stands. He’s breathing wrong, too short and fast like he’s run a mile. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

El risks a glance at Will. His eyes are wide and confused, glued on Mike. 

“I said take a breath,” Hop presses, holding his hands out like one of the hostage negotiators in El’s old movies. Mike flips him off, even though he’s shaking, and that does it.

El glares at him, and it takes everything in her to tamp down the twist of power in her chest, crackling like a hungry fire. 

“It means exactly what you think it means. Come apologize to me when you are done lying.”

El pushes past a wide-eyed Nancy, ignoring the feeling of Will’s stare boring into her. She heads down the hall to her old room, throwing a hand out to shut the door. It slams satisfyingly, rattling the frame. Her breath is coming in short, ragged pants, Max’s bloody face bright on the backs of her eyelids. The room tilts. 

Someone is knocking on the door, frenzied. “El! El, come on, open the door,” Will pleads. “I’m sorry. We’re sorry.”

“You didn’t—,” El starts, but she can’t breathe right and it comes out shallow. She reaches a hand out and grasps at nothing, sinking down onto her bed. Max in the hospital bed like a broken baby bird, the sound of Lucas’s screams, the whole of Hawkins swallowed up all because she couldn’t concentrate. “You didn’t do anything.”

“El, the door’s locked,” Will says. He sounds like he is crying, El realizes dimly. “Please let me in.” 

El breathes in deep, tries to hold it— Joyce taught her this on the cold bathroom counter their first night in Lenora Hills. She’d had a nightmare. Hopper, torn apart in the mall. In for four, hold for four, out for six. 

In, hold, out. In, hold, out. 

The knocking stops, and El hears Will slide down to sit on the floor outside her room. A beat of quiet stretches before he speaks again.

“I’m not leaving you. Mom and Hopper are talking to Mike. You’re not in trouble, nobody is.”

El lets out a shaky breath. When she opens her eyes, the room is still and quiet. 

“I need to be alone, Will.”

He sighs, a sound she knows too well. 

“Well, I don’t want you to be.”

El gets up and moves towards the door, but instead of opening it, she sits down with her back against it like Will has on the other side. She can hear him sniffling, and a pang of guilt courses through her. 

“I am sorry I ruined the night,” El says quietly. 

“No, no, you didn’t ruin anything,” Will rushes out, sounding painfully sad. “You have nothing to apologize for, okay? We’re all struggling, El. All of us. You’re not alone.”

She sticks a finger under the crack in the door. Will pokes it with his thumb, and El smiles to herself. Back in Lenora Hills, they spent more than one sleepless night in El’s room, coloring with Will’s best set of pastels and “shooting the shit.” She has missed him horribly, ever since the lab. Part of her is hurt that he didn’t feel important enough to talk to her in her trance, but she figures it all happened so fast he didn’t have time to think much about it. 

Nobody did.

“Mike’s trying his best, y’know,” Will says softly. There’s a warmth in his voice that El does not hear often. Some of her hurt loosens, but the image of Max’s glassy eyes flashes in her mind, and she knows she can not forgive him. Not yet. 

“I know,” she says back. “But arguing with me won’t bring her back. He is wasting his time. Our time.”

“El,” Will sighs, at a loss. He has never been able to accept disharmony in their group. 

| disharmony: adjective. a lack of agreement; conflict; division. |

“I will forgive him when we bring Max back,” El says. “But until then, try to get him to give me space. I don’t want to hurt him, Will, but I… can not be around him without doing it.”

“Okay,” Will says. His voice is quiet, scratchy like his throat hurts. “And El?”

“Yes?”

He clears his throat. El pictures him blinking fast, like he does when he’s nervous after he gets called on in class. 

“What did you mean, earlier? When you said… Mike ‘can’t’ love you?”

El sighs. She can not tell Will the truth, as much as she wants to. She heard things in Lenora, bad things about Stacy Ellis and Maria Davenport— that they’d been caught kissing beneath the bleachers and been suspended. That they were ‘sick’ for it. She thinks it must be the same for boys— that love between them is seen as wrong, somehow. El doesn’t understand why, but she knows it’s supposed to be secret if you feel that way. Sometimes, she guesses, lying can protect you.

And as mad as she is at Mike, she has to protect him. She knows Will wouldn’t care— quite the opposite, if her suspicions about them are true— but it would be like… if Will told Mike that El still wets the bed sometimes. Just mean, wrong. Not her place. 

“I was… lashing out,” she says carefully. “I just meant that I am not… the right person for him. I am not who he really wants.”

Will seems to go still. El hears his breath hitch.

“How could you—? El, of course you are,” he says, sounding pained. “What have the last three years meant, then, if you’re not… if you’re not each others’ soulmates?”

“Will,” El says, “I was confused. We both were. Mike has said the same thing to you, hasn’t he?”

A pause. 

“Yeah,” Will sighs, suddenly sounding very tired. “Yeah, but… he was just insecure. You guys will work it out.”

He does not understand. Something deep in El’s chest twists painfully, and she leans her head back against the door.

“Maybe,” El says. “But maybe not.”

She taps on the door, their secret code for when one of them has had a nightmare and cannot sleep in their room alone: short-short-long-short. Will echoes it back to her, and for a moment, everything feels half-normal again.

“I gotta go find him,” Will says. He clears his throat again. “Call me if you need anything, though, okay? I mean it.”

El feels a ghost of a smile float across her face. Her sweet brother. She hopes they make it out of this so she can see him happy. So they can all be happy. Will and El and Max and Lucas and Dustin and Mike, all together where they belong. “Alright. Love you, Will.”

“Love you, too.”

And then the floorboards creak with the sound of Will leaving, and El is alone. 

[pcrfectstorms]

;; Discourse on billy hargrove & eddie munson (personals DO NOT reblog!) I want to talk a little about a problem I have with the way both the show runners and the fandom react to certain villain archetypes, and how unsettling I find it. You might not agree with me, and that’s fine, but I am coming at this from a morally neutral place, while still being fully aware of the terrible things Billy has done. That said, there is overlap here between the treatment (by the duffers) of Billy and Eddie that I want to talk about for a hot minute.

Arguably, you could say they are almost foil characters to each other, while having clear parallels and similarities. Both characters were introduced as metal listening bad boys, Joseph himself said in an interview that Eddie was supposed to be meaner  -- so we have these two boys who aesthetically are very similar, granted Billy’s look was more polished than Eddie’s (Billy being more hair metal, and Eddie a more heavy metal look) both who come from relative poverty, and abusive households. Billy’s abuse is canon confirmed with his dad’s physical and emotional abuse and Eddie’s implied with the fact he is living with his uncle with no sign of any other parental figure in his life. Which is then again implied in vol 2 when he mentioned how his father was a criminal, so safe to assume that neither of these boys have had a particularly happy childhood.  

Of course, it’s clear that Eddie is loved by his uncle, who wants the best for him, so Eddie, unlike Billy, he had someone in his corner; he had a safe adult in his life to protect him. And, here comes the part where I think they are each other’s foil character, both boys come from relatively similar circumstances - absent parents, abusive/toxic parent, and absent parents etc - and yet where they split off into different directions in terms of how they reacted to those circumstances. While Billy turned his hurt and trauma into anger and abusive behaviours (particularly directed at Max), Eddie who had someone in his corner was able to overcome that and his own trauma and hurt turned into a drive to protect and look after other ‘freaks’ like how he takes Dustin and Mike under his wing; he was clearly bullied in school (aren’t all alt kids, hell I know I was) and he wants to protect the ‘little sheepies’ when he didn’t have someone to protect him. 

I will say this before I am labelled a ‘Billy Apologist’ that I absolutely hate the way he treated Max and Lucas, it was awful. However, I think that Max to Billy was this kid that came along after his mom abandoned him, so he filtered all his sadness and bitterness into her and resented her, because to him she represented what he lost (his mother, and arguably his childhood to his dad’s abuse). He is terrified of his dad, and his misdirected hurt and anger went on his sister. His dad is both physically and emotionally abusive to him from a very young age, and he grows up experiencing this, while seeing that Max somehow manages to avoid this abuse from her stepdad, and thus so grows his resentment. 

Billy did awful things, that is undeniable. But, what the fandom seems to fail to recognise is the impact that abuse can have on a person. He was taught from a young age that aggression and bullying was the only way to be masculine, his dad constantly scolds him for any deviation from masculinity, and makes comments and slurs towards him. Billy absolutely has a lot of internalized homophobia from this, and you may not agree, but Billy was a queer coded character,  again, like Eddie was queer coded (and no I don’t mean the ‘hanky’ i doubt that was intentional queer coding and more metalhead culture.)

So, we have two alternative, queer coded, ‘villains’  who come from broken, abusive homes. And the message that we are consistently pushed is that these kids deserve to die. I stand by that neither Billy nor Eddie did not deserve to die. Both Billy and Eddie died as hero’s and yet their arc from villain to hero remains incomplete, for Eddie because no one  knows he died a hero besides Dustin apparently, which I won’t even get into because I am furious about how they handled his death – the town still hate him and think he is a murderer, for his hero arc to be a true hero arc everyone should know his ‘sacrifice’ and the townspeople should forgive and clear him name. For Billy, we did get a small resolution with that scene with Max where he is saying sorry, but then he dies and is given no room for a redemption arc with his sister. Eddie dies and is given no room for a redemption arc with the town, and everyone who hated him. Both Billy and Eddie deserved a redemption arc to its fruition; not the half-baked ‘redemption’ we got for either of them - and granted st4 wouldn’t be what it was without Billy’s death, but that is a moot point here.

For me, the biggest issue with both of these deaths is that it continues to perpetuate the narrative that somehow these kids deserved to die because of circumstances that were for the most part beyond their control (poverty, abuse, absentee parents, scapegoating etc). This narrative is harmful in that it pushes the idea onto people who might be in similar circumstances with a message that: you deserve it.

I can’t help but wonder that if Billy had a safe adult in his life to protect him from a young age, that maybe he would not have been such an abusive asshole, (monsters aren’t born; they’re created) but he didn’t – he had no one, he was alone – even while fighting the  mind flayer’s possession he was alone, he had no one in his corner, he didn’t stand a chance. Eddie, after he runs at first, also has no one, but unlike Billy the party step in and helps him. Again, these parallels between them show what a difference having a system of support can really make, unfortunately their fates still ultimately ended the same in what I’d say for both is an unjust death with their stories half finished. 

So, to sum up, I hate the way that it's framed that people who do terrible things, or are perceived to have done terrible things (in Eddie’s case) don’t deserve redemption. Ultimately, my problem isn’t even so much with Billy and Eddie’s death specifically and more the message that sends to kids watching in similar abusive home situations. The message they are given is that, actually this is your fault, you’re just a bad person, and you deserve to die, you don’t deserve redemption or forgiveness or any space to grow as a person. It’s a message of hopelessness, and while it’s not unique to stranger things, this trope of treating alternative characters plays out in so many other tv shows and movies, ‘the freaks’ are always treated as disposable and throw away characters that aren’t deserving of happiness, forgiveness, or growth. And that is a horrific message to push out in my opinion. 

also, if you read this bless you, because my ass went off here omfg.

[aphlys88]

a mileven analysis/rant in relation to the other main ships in the show + me going off topic

Before you start this is not a pro-Mileven post or anything. Im going to analyze(or at least try) their relationship in relation to others, and relate that to how they're not making it out of s4 vol 2. STRANGER THINGS S4 SPOILERS IN THIS POST

This is also my first analysis of anything. if I get anything wrong pls correct me. this analysis/rant is all over the place lmao. I'm also writing this cus my stranger things brain rot is crazy rn.

I'd like to start out by saying I do think Mike loved/liked El in a romantic way at some point, most likely being in seasons 1 and 2. What the two of them had in the first two seasons is highly reminiscent of first love, or puppy love, because that's what it was Mike has never been in a relationship or really had a friendship(to my knowledge) with a girl. El was raised in a lab, Mike was one of the first people she met, he took her in, and the story goes from there.

I think the circumstances of their relationship also play a factor in their later relationships and eventually lead to their downfall. Mileven is very much a middle school, first love, puppy love relationship like I said before. 9/10 these don't work out. They're also kind of codependent on each other which isn't always good in s3. Milevens point out that Lumax and Dustin x Susie are other middle schools/first love relationships that work. However, these ships have many things in common as well as different from each other.

Lumax

Lucas and Max are a relationship that people like to bring up concerning Mileven. Like Mileven, they have their rough patches, but ultimately, they end up making up together in the end. In season 4, the obstacle facing Lumax is that Max doesn't want to open up to others, she shuts herself and her emotions off from people in her life, and doesn't let anyone know what's going on with her, or her life and Lucas not exactly "seeing her". This brings a problem that leads to their breakup, (Max is going through a lot, and doesn't feel fit for a relationship with anyone right now). However, we see that both of them try to take steps to fix the rift that is caused between them. Lucas admits that he wasn't there, and Max feels regretful for closing herself off. Although they haven't gotten back together in vol.1 This sets up the likely possibility of them getting back together in vol. 2.

Communication is what helped fixed the rift between them. Communication is something Mileven doesn't really have in this season.

Mileven + Me getting off track and ranting a little.

Mileven has essentially 3 rifts this season that are pushing them apart.

Mike not being able to say I love you/not listening.

El's lie

Mike's view of El.

Mike not being able to say I love you has been debated a lot since this season came out. Mike isn't the best at expressing himself, and it's also true that his parents are in a loveless relationship thus making it harder for him to say it, he can't even write it either. Which I think is important. Being able to write simply, "love Mike" should be something extremely simple for Mike to do. He doesn't even write it on the flowers that he's given El. It's because the love isn't there. Also, I don't like the argument that Mike and Nancy can't say I love you because of their parent's loveless relationship because Nancy can tell Jonathan "I love you" and tell other people she loves Jonathan. Mike can't even do this. She couldn't tell Steve she loved him, because she didn't love Steve. Simple. Stancy parallels Mileven also, but this has been discussed a lot on the Byler tag so I'm not gonna get into it.

El also lied to Mike. She didn't tell him about how bad things were for her and Will in California, which obviously makes Mike upset. It's understandable as to why she would lie, but in the end, it's still wrong. It's also interesting because her whole motto is "Friends don't lie,", and she finally lied. This isn't a small lie like what they broke up over in season 3, it's kinda major. It's also like the lie/secret with Jancy currently, where he didn't tell Nancy about not applying to their dream college, and lying and saying he didn't get a letter. These are both major things that could tear apart their relationship.

The final rift is Mike seeing her as a monster, and how his view of her has changed. In El's mind, the way Mike reacted toward the Angela debacle, is how Brenner reacted to her when he found her after she banished 001. He was scared, disappointed, and genuinely saw her as a monster, since he thought she caused all of this. I don't think Mike really saw her as a monster, it wouldn't make sense because he's seen her do so many worse things. Also, his view towards El has changed this season. He sees her more as someone who saved him, someone great, someone amazing who has superpowers. He idolizes her in a sense. It's seen in their fight in episode 3. He calls her a superhero, he feels as if other people are trying to ruin them, tearing them apart, etc. He obviously cares for her and loves her because he's hellbent on trying to get her back, but not because he loves her in that way. Idk I'm not good at explaining this. but anyways.

Also the take "The duffers aren't gonna make Byler canon because they spent 3 seasons building up Mileven, they're not gonna break them up for Will" is a bad excuse cus writers do it all the time in shows. (Riverdale, Bojack Horseman, You, Greys Anatomy, just to name a few). Also! When writers do this, it's to show over time the flaws in the relationship. It's to show that they weren't a perfect fit for each other, no matter how much the fans think it is. also queerbait but that's another rant.

Dustin and Suzie.

I'm making this section short cus there isn't much to say about/for them in relation to Mileven. In s3 and s4 Dustin and Suzie are on good terms. They're in a long-distance relationship along with Jancy and Mileven. Dustin also looks up to his girlfriend and has high praise for her, like Mike. Though he loves her for other reasons, and her being a "superhero" isn't a big thing about their relationship, why they got together, etc etc. Also, it seems that Dustin and Suzie communicated frequently(before she lost her stuff) and affirm their love for each other a lot that way. All Mike and El had were letters.

Season's 4 runtime is Just 5 minutes short of 4 hours. That's essentially 4 extra episodes fitting into Vol. 2. Though, even though this is a long time, most of this time will go to the storylines intertwining, and defeating Vecna. This isn't enough time to fix all the problems Mike and El have going on. I personally don't think the breakup will happen until everything's over and dealt with. I see it as a mutually healthy breakup, where they realize that they weren't the same 12/11-year-olds and have grown apart. El is growing and becoming her own person, Mike is probably trying to work out or realize his feelings for Will, and is coming to terms with the difference between loving and caring for someone. It would be best for them to part here and spend some time apart, which would set up perfectly for Byler in s5.

Where does Byler relate to all this?

Definitely endgame. I don't think it'll become canon in season 4, but I feel like realistically, the building blocks will be there for canonization in s5.

But in all actuality, I don't think Will is going to try and confess this season unless it gets vecna'd outta him. Since it's practically confirmed that he's gonna be a victim of Vecna. What I see happening, is Mike realizing his feelings towards Will while he's in danger, a scene with the painting after, which will affirm yeah he probably likes Will. Which will then push Mike and El to breakup, and for Mike to spend time to himself to try and figure out where he'll go from here.

TLDR: mileven isn't gonna workout and you cant use ships like lumax jancy stancy Dustin x Suzie etc to affirm how its gonna work out cus it's not lmao. also, Byler is def endgame, iont think it'll be canon in s4, but I do def see mike realizing his feelings towards will by the end of volume 2. byler canon byler real

[corrodedcoffin89]

⭐Top 5 Fics of the Week⭐

"and it all comes down to you" by heartofwinterfell Site: ao3 Words: 18,587 Chapters: 1/1

Eddie Munson’s no hero. Too bad the universe—or whatever’s gonna be left of it—didn’t get the memo.

[or, eddie is going to save himself and his friends or die trying. many, many times.]

2. "nightswimming" by heartofwinterfell Site: ao3 Words: 12,375 Chapters: 1/1

“You fought a bunch of demon bats with your guitar in a hell version of our town, but me not being a total dick is still what’s earth-shattering to you?”

“Yeah, but Satan willing, I’m never gonna see those bats again,” Eddie said, crossing himself backwards, cigarette smoldering between his fingers. “You, I might be keeping around.”

[five conversations by the water]

3. "to live my own way" by Macellarius Site: ao3 Words: 21,440 Chapters: 1/1

Under a much different circumstance, Eddie would have loved to have Steve’s eyes looking over him like that, would love to have that determination focused on him, but Eddie is very much dying, he knows it, so he smiles at Steve’s misplaced confidence instead, “High expectations, Stevie. Where’d you learn to swing like that anyway?”

“I’ll tell you,” Steve’s voice is a bit shaky, his tone wavering, even as he puts on a brave face, “but you have to stay alive, Munson.”

If he had more strength, he’d consider testing his luck one last time, tease Steve by asking if he swings for Eddie’s team, but- he’s tired.

Dying young. What a fucking nightmare.

Or, what if the Party defeats Vecna in time, and Eddie lives?

4. "Shut Up, Steve" by gentlyusedbooks Site: ao3 Words: 4,372 Chapters: 1/1

Harringtons did not camp. They vacationed. Steve had never set up a tent in his entire life. If his parents had seen him and Robin tent shopping at the local outdoorsy store, Steve was pretty they would’ve had the big one right there.

aka Robin ships it, so Steve and Eddie go camping

5. "strange (but not a stranger)" by heart of winterfell Site: ao3 Words: 10,074 Chapters: 1/1

Max saddles up to him, dusting off her smuggest smile. “Huh, seems like they all ditched your dungeon for a way cooler, sexier dungeon.”

Through gritted teeth, Mike spits out, “That’s not how Dungeons and Dragons works.”

[or, mike must contend with the fact that everyone in his life seems to like eddie munson more than him]

[nothinggold13]

Stranger Things 4 thoughts coming at you over a week since I finished the season:

‘Bout to be more Controversial than pineapple on pizza, but... I don’t care for Eddie. I don’t hate him or anything, but he makes me uncomfy. His personality makes me anxious. Not a fan.

I do have deep feelings over the wasted potential that was him and Chrissy, though.

You just know in another world they would have discovered the music thing in time to save her, and he would have literally played her a song himself to break her free from Vecna. (:

Moving on.

ARGLYE THOUGH. THE REAL STAR OF THIS SEASON.

WHEN HE MAKES THE GOSH DARN HEADSTONE OUT OF A PIZZA BOX??? I DON’T CARE THAT EVERYONE CALLED IT DUMB OR THAT THE MOMENT WAS MOSTLY COMEDIC: THAT ACTION SHOWED ARGYLE’S FREAKING HEART, AND I LOVE HIM TO DEATH.

THEY BURIED A MAN AND ARGYLE SAT THERE AND THOUGHT, “BUT HE DESERVES TO BE REMEMBERED.”

THE. ABSOLUTE. STAR.

MY DARLING, DEAREST BOY.

Can’t believe how dirty they did Jancy this season!!!!!!

Ok, no, I actually have hated the way they’ve handled Jancy since the literal moment they got together in season 2, but now they’re just setting them up for failure!!!!

Fully expecting them to break up next season, (though I am holding on to the one singular shred of hope that is them ACTUALLY COMMUNICATING and becoming stronger for it in the end).

And, my goodness, if they break up Jancy just to make Nancy get back together with STEVE???

There will be RIOTING.

I love Steve!!! I love his growth!!!! I love him and Nancy developing a friendship!!!!

BUT WE HAVE LONG SINCE MOVED ON FROM THEM AS A ROMANTIC COUPLE NARRATIVELY AND I WOULD RATHER STEVE DIE THAN SEE HIM DATE NANCY AGAIN.

(That might be overdramatic. I haven’t decided yet.)

Nancy and her guns???? Love.

The show is actually about Kids on Bikes, and if you could SEE how excited I was during the bike scenes----

HOPPER WITH A SWORD

HOPPER WITH A SWORD AND NANCY WITH HER GUN AT THE SAME TIME

Literally why was the last episode 10 hours long? It literally could have been split into parts.

Okay I am actually OBSESSED with the Concept of the basketball boys. Like, I realize they are highkey villains (or, at the least, antagonists), but in another context, they would literally be the heroes and I love that for them.

“Oh, my girlfriend just got murdered! Guess we better solve her murder and battle an evil cult! GO TEAM!”

Honestly iconic.

This wasn’t their universe, but the PREMISE of them is!!! Fabulous!!

“YoU’rE tHe HeArT mIkE!!!” literally no

Also the end of episode 4 (I think?) had me highkey crying actually, like, that was CINEMA

The speech about good people wanting to help!!! Paired with Lucas escaping the Basketball Boys!!! All of that happening!!!! Goodness!!!

(Don’t actually remember the episode number but I think that was 3 or 4.)

I get that Max was relating that song to Billy but are you REALLY telling me there’s not a SINGLE OTHER SONG that is powerful enough to save her from Vecna??

I’m not saying that because I don’t like the song!! I have enjoyed it very much!!!

BUT MAX HAD TO LISTEN TO IT ESSENTIALLY ON REPEAT FOREVER, AND I’M LIKE??? REALLY GIRL??? YOU HAVE NO OTHER MEANINGFUL MUSIC???

I would like to just state for the record that I am one of potentially 6 people who can’t get over Steve/Robin as a ship, so they’re still kind of killing me a little.

Them having secret conversations across the room in a crowd. Steve saying he would date her, if circumstances were different. Robin saying his name first when she was getting attacked in the Upside Down. Help.

Don’t worry, I know it will never happen, but I just...

I’m a little hung up on them.

THEY DID THE THING IN SEASON 3 WHERE THEY GET SCARED AND ACCIDENTALLY HOLD HANDS, OK??? ALL THE ST SHIPS DO THAT, PRETTY MUCH.

I will try to control myself.

OH. A really fun thing is that the only major spoiler I saw before watching was that the orderly was 001 (and was also Vecna)

Like, I literally avoided spoilers so well that I didn’t know Max died for a freakin’ minute there!!

BUT knowing about Vecna made watching the season very exciting because, like, I knew he WOULD be evil... but I didn’t know if he had always been evil.

Like... every scene I was like... “Does he care about Eleven, or is he trying to manipulate her? He genuinely seems to feel for the other kids right here-- hmmmm. Is he actually helping her escape? Oh, no, she just offered her help; he’s definitely gonna manipulate her into killing some people. WAIT, NO, HE JUST WANTS THE THING REMOVED-- OH WAIT AGAIN!!!!”

(Obviously the answer is he was evil the whole time.)

(But it was fun trying to guess whether that was the case or whether something had made him evil between the time El knew him & he became Vecna.)

Oh, ok, the other spoiler I heard but avoided any details of was Eddie’s death

And I just gotta say

That it was absolutely STUPID

“I didn’t run this time” BUDDY

The decision he made to run?? To stay in the Upside Down, but to run away and buy everyone some time? THAT WAS HIM MAKING A HEROIC STAND

Him deciding to stop running and face the bat creatures head-on?

LITERALLY SO STUPID, AND FOR WHAT PURPOSE???

He made it sound like he was being a coward for running, when in that moment, running was literally the bravest and most helpful thing he could have done. He was buying them time! He was being a hero! He wasn’t running away from his problems; he was doing a job!

And then he stopped and was like “I’m not a Real Hero unless I Get Killed instead!”

Absolute buffoon

(He did sort of grow on me in the last episode. As a whole his personality was still icky to me, but he was a lot more subdued and I could appreciate him more. “Chrissy, this is for you,” was----- yeah.)

Side note: when are we going to talk about the fact that Dustin is literally the best one????

He is the best child. He can do no wrong. Angel baby. Love that boy.

(The REAL heart of the team, let’s be honest)

OKAY AND the one scene where they’re exploring the house and Steve’s trying to be all cool and knowledgeable or whatever and Dustin’s just basically laughing off everything he says???

10/10 most realistic depiction of being a Cool Older Kid when the younger kids who look up to you start growing up

(Had a 15 year old make fun of me for having never had a boyfriend)

(I’ve known her since she was, like, 4)

Oh. Also? JOYCE AND HOPPER

LOVE

......Is that all my thoughts?

Probably not.

OH WAIT THE PART WHERE DUSTIN TELLS EDDIE’S UNCLE THAT EDDIE “FOUGHT AND DIED TO PROTECT THIS TOWN”

BUDDY

PUBLICLY, THAT WAS AN EARTHQUAKE

YOU’RE TELLING HIS UNCLE THAT EDDIE FOUGHT AN EARTHQUAKE???

Love that, 10/10, not even trying

(No it was a real sweet moment but it was just so funny to me because of the public context of the entire incident.)

To be perfectly honest, the only thing I cared enough to watch this season for was actually El & Hopper’s reunion.

All the reunions, actually, were the best part of the entire thing

But El & Hop’s made me extra DKJSJLSJDLKDSK, you know??

Except I’m literally obsessed with the fact that everybody else literally watched them pull up, saw Hopper get out of the car (ALIVE), and had to NOT REACT so that he could sneak in and surprise El

My sister and I were joking about what that must have looked like

I loved it

ANYWAY

I may have had more thoughts, but I think I’m gonna call it

Those were some of the biggest feelings I had about Season 4

(I think I may have liked it better than season 3 which is encouraging because historically I have liked the show less and less with each passing season)

So yeah

If you read all of this, here’s a thousand Cool Points

[imthecleric]

Will’s Behavior During Season 3

So I want to discuss how Will’s behavior during season 3 is actually not perhaps necessarily an impact of bad writing considering his lack of lines and true involvement in the plot. I wont go into detail about the specifics of the rain fight as that is a different area all together. This will mainly discuss Will’s desire to play DnD and how he knew it was more than just a feeling or a guess at what was happening when he felt his neck tingle.

So first things first, I think for most of the summer Will was his mostly normal self. I think it was the Will that everyone grew used to. He was still polite, but he made jokes. He was fun to be around. He was the Will, Max was told about before his possession. But, Will would never be that boy ever again, not fully. He is just good at hiding it. He’s good at hiding after all.

The thing is the connection is always there, and he got good at not focusing on it. When its dormant like it is for most of the time after Nancy does the final move to expel the Mindflayer from him, he has to truly focus on it and think about it for anything to happen from it. Just like when he had visions before they started ramping up. They could also happen when he was tired, but it wasn’t anything to worry about, or so he thought. It also was almost always excused by Will to himself as being overtly tired and not fully awake, it was a nightmare.

As the date gets closer to the Star Court fiasco, Will is growing quieter. No one really notices, Mike as we see is too busy to notice, and honestly Will is okay, he didn’t really clock in that Mike noticed when he was quieter before. However, with him getting quieter, he knows Dustin is coming home soon, and he is looking forward to that. He wants to play DnD. Then he gets the first prickle at the theater. Its the first time he felt something when he wasn’t thinking about it. So his desire to not think about it strengthened, he grew quieter, while begging his friends to play DnD.

Dustin agrees, but is side tracked by the Russian transmission, which Will does not blame him for because at least he seemed like he wanted to play which puts him in the top spot in terms of how Will is feeling about his friends. He wants to forget everything for a bit. He wants to play so bad because he knows he might not get the chance when he brings up what is going on, about feeling the Mindflayer.

The second he reveals he feels the Mindflayer, he is treated very differently. Half the reason he doesn’t reveal it is because he craves what he views as normal, and the last time things were normal was when he could play DnD with his friends. Its not so much about his childhood, though it is don’t misquote me here its multilayered, as it is also about he wants something normal. Because lets not forget Will does not view himself as normal because of many things including being gay, but also his connection to the Upside Down.

When Will reveals to the group that the Mindflayer is back, he is treated like he can only be trusted in very limited circumstances and that is where the Mindflayer is. He doesn’t really do anything else, and is not included in much once he reveals that. Its like their is an inherent distrust because they do not understand this connection and they are half worried about repeating what happened the previous November, even if Will makes it clear he was not the Host.

Will is actively trying to not use his true sight, or now memories because if he can sense when the Mindflayer is active, he can sense it other times. He has gotten so good at not thinking about it that it is second nature. I think if he had been more willing to use his connection, to be a spy, then things could have gone differently. And the thing is Will knows this. But last time he was a spy it was turned on him, it was his biggest fear and it couldn’t really be stopped til it was too late. He is too scared to breach that again.

Will once he sees the body of the Mindflayer, he knows it is different. There is a difference to what he knows, and what he saw. He cannot explain it, but he also knows it is just a part of the mindflayer. It is not the full thing, thus making it something completely different at the same time. Its like a brand new monster. Will is still terrified. We often see Will’s reaction the the Mindflayer is a mixed bag. Initially is in awe of it, but also it terrifies him. He then runs. Once it possesses him it is almost like he freezes, and is stuck in a state where he can’t run but is opening himself up to letting it back in. Its almost as if the Mindflayer aka Vecna planned that.

Alot of Will’s behavior in season three, once the Mindflayer is revealed is paralleled to what we saw in season 2. He is hyper empathetic particularly to El getting that piece of the flayer inside her. He even has a moment behind the car with Jonathan, Lucas, and Nancy that directly mimics the scene on Halloween from season 2. In fact I am not entirely sure he wasn’t having an episode then, he had that same far away look. He also gets quieter, once he can only be used for the Mindflayer he grows quieter which isn’t quite noticed by anyone. And I think this is clear when Will shows no, or little interest in the fireworks. Are two resident fireball lovers and only one is showing interest in a real life equivalent?

At the end of Season 3, the flayer is gone and dead. The gate is closed, the Byers move away. But as we know in season 4, which informed the first portion of this post that feeling never went away and was stronger in Hawkins.

Will’s behavior in season 3, is an echo and result of his experiences from season 1 and season 2. While I do believe some of the Mindflayer things should have focused equally on him, Max, and El I don’t think its necessarily the writers forgetting he existed. I think its a depiction of a kid who didn’t want to burden anyone with a bad situation yet again, so he retreats which isn’t weird for a quiet kid until he literally can’t anymore because he is not only certain but he can’t retreat any further.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

hi! i’m the anon that asked how would you change the mileven storyline to make it appealing. i 100% agree with you, there is definitely no salvaging mileven at this point in the story. i’m not a huge fan of their romantic relationship, however, given different circumstances in which they were properly written and built up from the beginning, i would probably ship them. which leads me to my original ask, i meant to say how would you have changed the mileven storyline starting in season one to currently make their romantic relationship appealing? i should have been more specific, i do apologize. you made some great points though, and you give a very good perspective on their relationship.

Ah, well, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I don't know that my answer would really be much different, though.

In order for Mike and El's relationship to be healthy from the start, they would need to be able to actually get to know each other. Either El wouldn't be sequestered away for a year, or they would take the time to become friends before going out in season 3.

El still would need to figure out who she is, also, which she can't do if she's latched onto Mike and doing what he and Hopper tell her to do. Mike would need to treat her like a person, allowing her to take part in group activities instead of sequestering her away where it's just the two of them. It really bothered me that she didn't seem to spend any time with Dustin or Lucas, who are her friends, too, or finally get to know Max or Will, at least until she felt she needed to go to Max. Her restrictions couldn't have been so severe if she was allowed to take part in Dustin's homecoming. It seems she mostly just needed to stay out of the public eye, which she could do while still having time for her friends.

So, yeah, it didn't have to be a bad relationship. It could have been good, if they wanted it to be. I realize they had some plot issues where El needed to be hidden away for her own safety, but they still wrote them as going out immediately after reuniting and followed up by showing a controlling, codependent, dishonest relationship. If they meant for it to be seen as romantic, then they failed big time, and it's wholly depressing that people still thing it's cute.

[claraswritings]

I fell in love (with you) in stages - CH 18/?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson Reader

Warning: Spoilers, Series typical violence, LONGish chapter.

A/N: I have the first draft of Chapter 19 in my drafts! So I am writing like crazy between work, hospital and yknow having plans cancelled due to, the virus...

I also have an idea for my NEXT fic...for a different fandom...that i have never written for and it would be a 5/6 parter...

Apologies if the read more doesn’t work...i’m on mobile

Tags: @hannarudick @felicityofbakerstreet @sledgy14 @kiara-uwu @lookalivesunshine-x @loulouloueh @loco-latte @mikariell95 @queenofthehairharrington @lovelydaydreams15 @anonymousonion23 @mochminnie @prettysbliss

Upon sight of his friends, Dustin jumped the counter and ran towards El and Mike embracing them in a tight hug. You smiled a little, it was nice to see him back with his friends and acting like a kid again, even under the circumstances.

“Erica what are you doing here,” Lucas looked concerned at the sight of his younger sister approaching with you, Steve and Robin

“Ask them. It’s their fault,” she put her hands on her hips and looked pointedly at you three, quick to throw you under the bus.

“Yep, that’s totally true, absolutely our fault,” Steve instantly conceded. I mean in the broadest sense, he wasn’t wrong, however Erica had agreed to it with only the promise of ice cream.

Robin who had been quietly processing everything until now, cut in “Erm, I still don’t get what happened to the car?”

“El has superpowers,” Dustin explained. Very to the point but it did little to ease Robins confusion judging by her furrowed brow.

“I’m sorry? What?”

“Superpowers,” Steve repeated your brothers explaination “She threw it with her mind, come on, catch up,” he waved as Robin turned to him, still looking understandably confused.

“And I’m sorry...but who are you?” Nancy said, looking directly at Robin.

“I’m Robin, I work with Steve,” the other girl tried to introduce herself as quickly as she could.

“She cracked the code,” Dustin used as an slightly better introduction.

“Which is how we found out about the Russians,” Steve interjected cutting to the chase forgetting that the others were none the wiser about the Russians.

“Wait, What Russians?” Jonathan joined in with the growing confusion.

“Those Russians,” you pointed at the guys on the floor, stressing your words.

“Those are Russians?” Max’s eyes widened with fear.

“Didn’t you get the code red?” Dustin turned to Mike and Max, looking as if all of this should be completely clear.

“Yeah but i couldn’t hear half of what you were saying,”

“Goddamn low battery,” Dustins exclaimed, his shoulders slackened as you, Steve and Robin exchanged tired glances.

“How many times do i have to tell you about the low battery,” Steve gestured with both hands.

“We almost died!!” Erica turned to Dustin exasperatedly. “And you’re telling me your radio didn’t work!”

“Well it worked out okay didn’t it,” your brother looked around at the scene.

“Came pretty damn close,” Steve muttered.

***

A loud clattering distracted you all from your conversation and that’s when you realised you had another problem.

No one had notice El wander off from the group until a second ago when she’d dropped to the floor, pulling at the leg of her jeans. You let out a gasp in shock, your hand flying to your face. before you could stop yourself. The younger girl was now on the floor. The rest of you flooded over to her, Mike kneeling down to help her roll her jeans up.

“What do we do?” your eyes looked around in panic, as she screamed in pain. “Shit, what can we do?”

Ericas line of sight was focused on the wound on El’s exposed lower leg. It looked to be almost vibrating and pulsing.

“What IS that,” she scrunched her face up in disgust “There’s something in there”

“Jesus Christ,” Dustin muttered as he bent down beside El and offered her his arm to squeeze, which she gripped almost immediately in a tight vice hold.

Jonathan looked to be thinking of a plan. His eyes darted around before settling on the food stall you’d all been crouched behind. “I have an idea, keep her talking. I’ll be back in a second”

One long minute later and he was back, holding a knife in his hand, the metal red hot.

Nancy, having guessed her boyfriends idea, spoke from beside him “Jonathan...Are you sure,” her usually composed and certain voice was now replaced with something all together more cautious.

He nodded with only a split second of hesitation.

“El, this is going to hurt like hell but you need to stay real still,” Jonathan turned his attention back to the younger girl and knelt down beside her.

Dustin passed a stray piece of wood to El who placed it in her mouth as a makeshift bite.

“Ready?”

El gave a small nod and with a deep breath to compose himself Jonathan made the incision on her leg.

You buried your head into Steve’s shoulder as her yells echoed around the empty mall and you reached out to squeeze Robins arm with your hand.

The sudden clatter of the knife being discarded a few moments later did little to reassure you it was over.

A minute that felt like an hour passed, and you felt Robins arm tense as she watched what was going on. Steve wrapped his arms around you, keeping your gaze away from what was unfolding.

“I’ll tell you when it’s okay,” he said only loud enough for you to hear. You nodded against him, trying hard to focus on his hand against your hair rather than anything else.

“Stop,” you heard a breathless El mutter at Jonathan “I can do it,” There was a shuffling followed by the girls ragged screams and the shattering of glass which made you wince.

Only a second or two later and the sounds were replaced with the unfortunately familiar chittering that you’d come to know did not usually precede good things.

You stole a glance to see a small creature crawling its way along the ground. It looked almost like Dart before he grew, ate Mews and...shed into a demodog.

“That thing was in her leg?” you screwed your nose up. “That!” you pointed.

None of the others answered, all too entranced by the thing now making its way across the ground.

It wouldn’t get far. It had only made it maybe twenty feet before it was crushed under a large black boot.

Your eyes flickered up to see the owner. Chief Hopper, accompanied by Mrs Byers...and a frazzled looking older man. It appeared the metaphorical cavalry had arrived right on time.

***

With the arrival of Chief Hopper, Mrs Byers and the crazy looking guy, who Nancy had told you was Murray, you’d all congregated around the fountain to catch everyone up on the Russians, the Mind Flayer and according to Nancy and Jonathan...the...melted people it was apparently using.

Murray had gone off to find the maps Robin had told him you’d left in Scoops, arrived back having drawn up his own.

Erica and Dustin were quick to point out that his estimate of 50 feet was a little less than generous and had offered to go with Hopper down into the tunnel as navigators.

Your chest had tightened at the thought of your brother going down into that hell hole again but thankfully the Chief dismissed your brothers insane suggestion before you could and it was decided that the kids would remain above ground.

You and Steve had opted to take a much needed breather as the others began prepping.

Steve took a seat on the counter and you stood in front of him. The bruises looked even more purple under the garish lights. The dried blood was not helping.

“And I thought Hargrove made a mess of your face last year,” your brow creased as you surveyed the injuries, as reached up and brushed his cheekbone with your fingers, feeling the swelling.

After all the time you’d spent not wanting to admit to yourself that you were in love with him, you thought maybe it would feel weird. Being able to finally touch him like this, but it felt completely normal, like it was second nature.

“You really got it bad, you know,” you nodded at his black eye. “You should let me clean you up, Im sure there’s got to be a first aid kit here somewhere,”

Before you could move to try find one, Steve caught your waist and kept you beside him.

“I’ve got it bad for you,” Steve leant in and his voice was quiet enough that only you could hear the cheesy line.

“What a line,” You rolled your eyes, playfully “You’re such a dork”

“Hey, no I’m not,” he protested a little loudly causing Robin who was sitting on the next counter over to look over. “I’m not a dork,” He dropped his voice to protest again when he realised she’d heard.

“You are a little bit.” you paused and stroked his cheek “But I like that,”

Steve’s lips twitched into a smile “Good,”

“Hey!” You noticed Dustin waving at you from over Steve’s shoulder “We need a driver,”

A set of keys you didn’t recognise jangled in his hand.

Steve had only just pushed off the counter and turned when Dustin threw the keys at him. Somehow Steve managed to catch them rather impressively with one hand.

He stared at the keys for a minute as if processing something...then back to you.

“You coming?” He pushed his hair off his face.

You looked to Steve and despite the impending danger from all sides, you let your lips tweak at the sides. Like you could say no that face.

“What’s one more near death experience, eh, not like I can go home,”

[strangertheory]

How do you think people in Stranger Things would react to Will being THAT powerful??? His allies (friends, family), his enemies (Lonnie, Dr. Brenner...), other psychics (would they be jealous?) MIKE??? Would he still want to be with him? (I know he's been with Ell, but wouldn't he be too scared to be with someone THAT powerful?) And finally WILL HIMSELF?

Hello there! Thanks for Asking! ^_^

So - I believe that the context of your question is that you are assuming that my understanding of the Stranger Things universe is that Will Byers’s mind created the Upside Down and the monsters and the “Russians” and that in this sense he has “god-like” psychic powers just like @kaypeace21 explains in many of her blogposts. Correct?

Yes. I believe that Mike and Joyce and Jonathan would still want to stay with Will. I believe that his friends will ultimately choose to stay with him, too. I personally believe that El will also ultimately be an ally to him just as she always has been since season 1.

Jealousy, in my opinion, would be inappropriate and ignorant. Will’s powers are nothing to be jealous of since they stem directly from the abuse and trauma that he has been through and they are fantastical manifestations of his mind attempting to do everything it can to protect itself. But I suppose it's always possible someone would be jealous and ignorant about his powers nonetheless.

Currently Will does not have conscious control over these events. Not that we know of yet, at least. They also appear to be tied to his anxiety, his emotions, and his trauma that is buried in his mind. Of course people in Hawkins would be intimidated and afraid of Will if and when they figure out that his feelings and traumas are manifesting themselves in their world and are creating dangerous circumstances for everyone in Hawkins and the world-at-large. Of course. But it’s important to remember that he is not choosing to cause any of it, and it is not his actions but the actions of those who hurt him that are reaching out and spreading and incidentally harming the town as his mind tries to process what has happened and deal with everything and, ultimately, protect him.

However. I want to also add a tiny bit of my own speculation regarding what these supernatural and fantastical occurrences could represent within the theory that Will has dissociative identity disorder:

As you have probably noticed - I am a huge fan of @kaypeace21‘s theories and I agree with her on many, many observations and ideas about what is going on in the Stranger Things universe. But sometimes I might have slightly different ideas of my own here and there. I go back-and-forth on many of them. They tend to not be as well-organized or cohesive as @kaypeace21 ‘s interpretations, but I do have a collection of “maybes” floating around my mind most days.  I’m not committed to any of these rogue thoughts, and I change how I feel about them every single day and so I haven’t wanted to share them. But I will mention one of those thoughts in this answer to your Ask:

I continue to go back-and-forth between whether or not I see this story as one about literal monsters attacking a very real town and creatures that have emerged from Will’s mind in the flesh, or whether this entire story could be a story-within-a-story. Might there be a real-world, realistic-fiction version of everything happening that is hidden behind this curtain of fantasy? Could there be a version of Hawkins itself that is an internal world with alters and introjects and NPCs living in it? Was Will “going missing” really El fronting in a DID System for a few weeks because Will was afraid and “hiding”? Did Mike yell at Max for allowing El to show up at the Mall and say “You know she’s not allowed to be here!” because he’s worried it’s not safe for her at the mall for reasons that don’t involve the Lab or Evil Russians? Were we supposed to pick up on Will tapping out Morse Code to Hopper and saying “Close the Gate” in season 2 as being a method of communication that Hopper had taught to El for when she needed to reach him? I don’t know. I do think about these details and these possible hidden layers sometimes, though. These are just some thoughts that nag at the corners of my thoughts some days.

But whether Stranger Things is a fantastical retelling of “What Happened to Will Byers and How His Friends Helped Him Defeat the Monsters” written by author Michael Wheeler or not, I think that much of the conflict with supernatural elements in Stranger Things is still functioning on a very metaphorical level and will be resolved within the emotional and psychological aspects of the story getting resolved.

To return to the heart of your question and how his friends and family might feel about him being “so powerful” :

Yes. Will’s friends and family and all of Hawkins will probably be afraid of him at first just like (sadly) people in the real world are often afraid of those that are dealing with trauma and mental illness and those that behave “strangely” and are different compared to others that they are used to understanding. I think that their reactions will probably be analogous. We have already seen how Will (and El!) is treated as different and ostracized socially in many ways, both intentional and unintentional. Will is known to be not like other kids. (”He’s not like you, Hopper! He’s not like... most.”) Will is anxious about being treated like a baby and like he can’t handle things on his own by even his friends. Will is bullied. Everyone at school, even high schoolers that aren’t Will’s classmates, refer to him as a “freak.” Jonathan was referred to as “the freak’s brother” at one point. Can you imagine? Will is mocked so widely by the town that even high school bullies take jabs at him in casual conversation when insulting someone else: his older brother. He’s mocked. He’s bullied. He’s ignored. Will is already treated as someone different that the town is uncomfortable with and doesn’t respect. His “powers” growing or Will suddenly becoming more aware of his situation as someone that is different and called a “freak” will surely be a very hard thing for him to deal with while he is also met with increased ostracization by the people he knows and loves.

Hopefully those that love Will are going to ultimately realize that his “powers” and his condition are not a threat to their safety, and that the true danger and evil stems from the person (or people) who have hurt Will and who need to be brought to justice. Helping Will heal from everything that he has been through will surely be the key to banishing the monsters from Hawkins and allowing Will himself to realize that he doesn’t have to see his life as ruined by his condition or his “powers” and that he can truly have a happy, fulfilling life with those he loves. On that note: I highly recommend @kaypeace21‘s response to this blogpost (click here to read the thread) in which she discusses how important it is that storytellers create narratives in which survivors find happiness and love in spite of everything that they have been through because too often the lie and the damaging trope that mental illness inevitably condemns people to misery and death shows up again and again in pop culture. It’s important that we reject the lie told to us by society that the mentally ill are incapable of having happy lives.

(Thank you for Asking!)

[screensirenfic]

Menthol Cigarettes - Chapter 35

I barely slept a wink that night; too busy tossing and turning as I tried to come up with a reason why this had happened. Why he had done this to me.

I mean; it wasn’t like she actually saw him doing anything, and El insisted that he was fully dressed, but still; it was pretty obvious what was going on.

She liked to believe that that girl was in trouble; that somehow, for some reason Billy was hurting her, even after I tried to explain the ‘other’ possibilities that seemed much more likely.

I don’t know if I’d have preferred it; honestly?!

I mean; sometimes Billy acted a total psycho, and I knew that it wasn’t always aimed at me, but was I really gonna talk myself into this instead of just accepting he was cheating?!

So, that was why we were here, marching up to Max’s house, because El honestly believed that girl was in trouble, and I was too much of a paranoid bitch to leave everything to chance.

“It’s going to start pouring soon. We should be at the mall, or watching a movie, or something...” Said Max, for once being the naysayer in the situation.

“You don’t believe me?” Eleven asked; still set on confirming her vision with her own two eyes.

“I believe you saw some super weird stuff; totally!” Max reassured her; unwilling to come across as the skeptic, no matter what the reality was.

“But you said Mike’s senses you in there before, right?” Max asked, trying her best to sound reasonable.

“So maybe it was just like that. Maybe Billy sensed you somehow.”

Maybe she’d like to think that was true, but needless to say, it had Eleven’s hackles up; mine too, although that was for an entirely different reason.

I mean; could he really be that much of a scumbag?!

I thought we’d gotten over this months ago; Billy finally realising that just because he had a reputation as a ladies man, didn’t mean he had to keep it up when he was in a relationship.

Of course; this wasn’t just a simple case of harmless flirting.

This was a full on, hardcore fu-

“His car’s not here.”

Max stated; her and El having managed to trail ahead of all my fretting as we now stood in front of the house.

“Are you sure you both wanna do this?” She asked, to which both nodded resolutely.

Whatever laid in wait inside Billy’s room; I could handle it.

I’d already had to deal with much worse.

——————————————————-

Sometimes I was grateful my upbringing hadn’t been exactly conventional, and this was one of those times…

Some girl’s dads taught them to change a tire, or put up a shelf, but mine had taught me to shoot rifles, throw punches, and in this case; pick locks.

Not to say it was an easy task, especially with two teenagers breathing down your neck like this was an episode of Jeopardy!

“Almost got it…” I said; thankful that my bobby pin hadn’t decided to break on me yet.

A click sounded, and the pin turned.

“There…” I smiled, turning the handle and pushing the door open wide.

“Why do I get the feeling we’re gonna find all kinds of wrong in here?” Max asked, lingering by the doorway whilst I walked straight in, already intimately familiar with the room in question.

I don’t exactly know what we were planning to find in here.

I mean; I’m pretty sure we all had very different explanations of Billy’s weird behaviour; some wilder than others.

El was expecting to find a body, or something; too many late nights spent watching cop shows with dad to have any real grasp on what to expect in an investigation.

Max was…

Well; I’m not entirely sure what Max was looking for. Probably something to prove her brothers innocence; as weird as that sounded when referring to a boy like Billy Hargrove.

And I wanted to find… Well; nothing.

I wanted to find the place exactly how I’d left it in the vain hope that it would put my anxiety to bed, and I could go on living like I had before; with one dedicated, if a little over-possessive boyfriend, who’d never dream of hurting me.

El launched straight into investigator mode, heading over to his closet to sort through hanger after hanger of double denim and cotton shirts, whilst I stuck to the edges of the room; eyes and fingertips skimming over the culmination of my boyfriend’s existence.

It didn’t look like the room of a cheater.

Not with copious amounts of photographs of us together plastered on whatever surface they’d stick to.

Whether it be cute little polaroids of us in the Camaro when the sun hit just right and made us look like movie stars; or dumb photo booth print outs where we’d pull faces that he’d never let see the light of day outside his safe space; he kept them all.

My hand lingered over a particularly memorable one; a polaroid just bordering on decent of the pair of us in bed together, my bare chest barely covered by the sheet as Billy held the camera high in the air, grinning up at it whilst I buried my face in his neck.

I remembered the day he took that photo;

I’d just bought him that camera as a late birthday present, and he was complaining that I could’ve got him something more fun; “fun” being the key word here that usually translated as “obscene” to Billy.

I’d insisted that we could have plenty of “fun” with his polaroid camera, which proceeded in him coercing me into letting him take a couple of “artistic” shots; cuing the start of his little photograph collection that he was so keen on expanding.

After he’d finished, and taken liberties to indulging in a near dizzying amount of birthday sex, he’d reached across to take “one last photo”; this being one he could keep on his wall, despite my insistence otherwise.

I’d been nervous and embarrassed of it back then; not wanting him to get in trouble if his dad happened to find it taped to his mirror of something, but now; I could finally see the beauty in it.

Billy looked so relaxed and carefree; like it was honestly one of the happiest moments in his life, and even with my face half hidden against his skin, I was smiling too; a clear sign that despite my protests, I was loving every minute of-

“Ugh! Gag me with a spoon!”

Max groaned; having stumbled across Billy’s so-called “underwear” drawer in his nightstand, which was actually filled with girlie magazines and “souvenir” pairs of my panties.

“Hey; Lo. This has got your name on it-“

I darted over to her, snatching the labelled envelope from her hand, absolutely adamant that the kid should never be exposed to its contents.

“Trust me. You do not want to see that.” I warned, watching as the kid’s face crinkled in disgust; probably already guessing exactly what Billy would keep in there.

I shoved the envelope back in the drawer, slamming it shut; because who knew what else Billy kept in there, and with that Max took the opportunity to further the parameters of her search to the bathroom, El following behind.

———————————

It was weird being here without Billy, looking at his things with a strange sort of detachment which I couldn’t quite grasp.

Everything in this room held so many memories for me; whether it be the spicy scent of his cologne triggering flashbacks of his arms around me, or the sight of his leather jacket slumped on a chair; my mind racing bak to all the times I’d seen him in it before and felt my heartbeat pick up.

I walked over to it, picking it up and just holding it for a minute, thumbs running over all the bumps and creases in the worn leather, reminding me of the first time he���d asked me to dance; a once bittersweet memory gotten sweeter with time and circumstance.

He’d been such an ass back then.

Still was, if I was being honest; but I’d learnt to love that about him, even when he drove me crazy half the time.

I wondered if he’d known back then?

That beneath all that macho horse crap, and maschoist sadism, that he’d seen the possibilities of what this really could be.

I lifted his jacket to my face, inhaling the scent of cigarette smoke and stale cologne that always seemed to put my mind at ease.

“Lola;  I think you’re gonna want to see this…”

———————————

I walked into Billy’s bathroom, fully expecting my world to come tumbling down at the inevitable evidence of his cheating.

Instead; my heart dropped for another reason;

“Where did you find that?”

My eyes fell upon the red and yellow form of a lifeguard whistle; blood bright against the yellow plastic as it hand from Max’s hand.

“From the trash.” Max replied; picking up the dread in my tone.

“Do you think it could be-“

I opened my mouth to express denial, when Eleven interrupted;

“No. It’s hers.”

[clericbyers]

I have been thinking about the exchange between Will and Mike at the end of ST3 and in particular their word choice. In artistic media, whatever is articulated is there with purpose. It’s not coincidence (an old example is that if a gun is mentioned in text to be on a wall to a reader, then the reader expects the gun to be important in some manner, whether it is for metaphoric narrative or is literally used because it was explicitly pointed out in the narrative). In terms of cinematic media, the published take was used instead of other versions for whatever reason the director(s) decided, so everything has intent. (Finn even said in a Hollywood Reporter interview that the Duffers shot “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls,” with different phrasing, adding “yet” in one take that ended up unused. So, there’s definitely attention payed to what exactly is being said between Will and Mike.)

That being said, I wanna focus a lot on Mike’s, “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?” and Will’s, “Not possible.” Before this exchange, Will donates his D&D manuals. He’s not taking it with him despite spending a good while three months back trying to regroup the Party through it. He states that he’ll use Mike’s set, if “we still wanna play”. Here he puts the ball in Mike’s court while acknowledging that they both might grow up and grow out of the interest but Mike holds the means to pursue D&D again. Mike says, “Yeah, but,” and it’s simple acknowledgement neither here nor there because he had something more important to say, something that unnerves him enough to let his gaze wander. He seems a little unsure and he pauses before continuing on, gathering his thoughts. He doesn’t make eye contact with Will until he says, “What if you want to join another party?”

[x]

Now party had two meanings in ST: party as in D&D in general and the Party (which I’ll capitalize) which is the best friend circle of Mike, Will, Lucas, and Dustin. Max and El join later but those four are the Party when it comes to D&D. Mike’s question is loaded. He asks if Will wants to play D&D with other people, he asks if Will wants to find a new friend group to replace the Party. He paints it as a hypothetical, a possibility for Will to pursue if he wants to, not when he plans to. Mike doesn’t say, “Yeah, but you can still find another party while you’re gone.” That is giving explicit permission for Will to move on, it’s what he already expects in a way but doesn’t want. He doesn’t say, “Yeah, but you might want to find a new party.” That paints the Party (and in turn himself) as old and something of the past, which Mike is battling with himself in terms of what it means to grow up.

Mike is asking about this loaded hypothetical situation. “What if,” hypothetically, “you wanna join another party?” ‘Another party’ implies in addition to the Party, an alternate of sorts. It’s not necessarily a replacement, just an addition. He’s offering the possibility because much like what Mike did when El joined the Party, the addition can very well become a replacement. Consider it ironic I suppose, but he doesn’t want Will to replace him.

Will’s response though...his response kills me dead. Will didn’t say, “Impossible.” He said, “Not possible.” There’s a difference between impossible and not possible. Impossible means it can’t occur, it cannot exist. It’s simply not able to be done no matter what. Every single possible event in the world can occur and this one thing simply cannot be done. It’s very finite and, well, pretty extreme and intense. ‘Not possible’ though? It’s technically the same meaning but context and delivery matters. ‘Not possible’ is so much more freeing in terms of interpretation than impossible.

[x]

For example, “It’s impossible to give you a ride,” vs “It’s not possible to give you a ride.” The former phrase implies defeat. It’s literally never going to happen for whatever reason. Maybe the car is full already or you have too much luggage that can’t fit. The bounds of the real world inhibit you from the car ride. It’s frankly just not gonna happen. The latter phrase though infers that there are other circumstances that means this simply isn’t possible. Giving you a ride isn’t in the list of possibilities at the moment. Maybe the car has an extra seat but there’s a dog you’re allergic to in it. It’s not impossible for you to ride in the car—there’s a free seat—but it’s not a possible option for you if you don’t want to have an allergic reaction.

In the context of Will’s reply, impossible would mean that Will can’t ever find another party. That’s frankly false; he could probably find another party, which Mike hypothetically thinks may happen given his question. Will knows this, he could find more people to play D&D with, it’s not impossible to join another party. But he looks down at the box between them—a box full of old toys to donate and move on from, a symbol itself of growing up—and then shakes his head with a soft smile. It’s technically possible to join another party—he has that choice—but in actuality, it’s not possible for him. It’s not possible for Will to replace the Party. It’s not possible for Will to replace Mike. Those cards aren’t in his hand despite them being in the deck.

Will is saying so much just with those two words, reassuring Mike that even though they have growing up in front of and between them (literally in terms of the donation box that’s only there because he’s moving away), the one thing that won’t change is how he feels, and his relation to Mike. That change is not possible. He will always love Mike.

And then Mike smiles.

[x]

Mike smiling with Will isn’t new, but the thing to note here is how he smiles. It’s not just a simple grin. He’s shy, he’s soft, he’s careful, he’s cautious. Mike being cautious about showing affection to Will? That’s new. He’s always been the first to reach out with Will, always caring and checking in, reaching out physically and emotionally. Throughout ST3, he’s shutting Will out and throwing that in his face and when he does that, Mike’s not cautious (as usual), but in ST3 it’s to the negative extreme of brashness.

Now though, Mike is questioning. He even called Will ‘dude’ earlier, trying to get a handle on his relationship with Will. Will is a boy, he’s a dude, he’s Mike’s male friend, right? He could have said “Woah, Will,” or “Whoa, Byers,” or even just, “Whoa,” but saying dude? Why would he ever have to do that, especially if he was still with El? Why is he reinforcing the fact that Will is “dude”? There’s all sorts of interpretations to be had on that but I wanna focus on Mike’s behavior afterwards. As stated before, Mike’s eyes wander when he gets a little unnerved, he worries if Will might forget about him, he’s nervous. Why would Mike be nervous about this? If he’s confident in his friendship with Will, there shouldn’t be any question about it even with the move. Yet, he questions being replaced, questions where he stands, questions what they are.

In response to Mike’s smile, Will smirks.

[x]

It’s a direct contrast to Mike. Will’s not shy, soft, or cautious. He knows what he said, what he implied (at least for himself if Mike doesn’t). He’s blatantly flirty. He’s figured out where he is and what he wants. He showed Mike the level playing field (“I’ll just use yours when I come back. I mean, if we still wanna play.”) and he’s kinda like, “I’ll see you when you get there.” There being acknowledging his feelings. I think it’s also Will noting maybe that Mike likes him, too, compared to three months prior when Mike basically broke his heart and Will proceeded to breakdown over it. Here, Will sees Mike’s shy smile, he sees his nervousness. Will has successfully put his heart out on the line (again) and this time Mike didn’t stomp on it. Mike is pleased to have it, and he’s careful about it. This is something new, them both noting that there’s something different between them. Now, it’s up to Mike to shoot his shot if he wants to.

(And later, when Mike mentions Will in his conversation with El, he gets excited about playing games again when El and Will come back to visit, excited about taking that shot (given games and D&D is Mike and Will’s metaphoric narrative about their friendship while growing up), and then backtracks. He says he sounds like he’s 7. At 7, Mike’s best friends were Will and Lucas. (There’s no explicit age stated when Lucas befriended the two but I assume it to be maybe like a year after Mike and Will became friends.) Mike basically said he sounds like a kid again, naive about many things yet deeply caring toward his friends and well, not dating anyone. In Mike’s character profile in the concept bible, he plays D&D to escape from the fact that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. D&D came out in 1979, which is when Mike is 8 (or 7 depending on his birthday). He wants to restart that D&D obsession, noting that D&D is a metaphor for Will and Mike’s relationship. He wants to return to this closeness from being kids, where it didn’t really matter what the affection meant. But he also knows that he’s 14 and growing up. This isn’t something he should want yet he says it right in front of El, his supposed girlfriend, the one he claims to love yet can’t tell her himself and then can’t return the statement or the kiss after she confesses too. He says it after the exchange with Will, where D&D turned from the game used to maintain the friendship into the game where they can take go further if Mike is ready for it.)

tl;dr Mike likes Will, too and Will gave him a second chance to try again if he’s done being a clown and wants to own up to his feelings.

[ first two gifs by ilu-3000 and last two by cath-avery, as credited above ]

[monkey-network]

My Issues with Butch Hartman

Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .

To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.

The Telltale Oaxis

This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.

It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 

The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.

This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.

I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.

The Childhood Reposter

I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.

If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.

The Holy Boast

I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.

https://www.healingjourneys.today/

For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.

Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.

My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.

The Financial Flaker

This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.

The Conclusion

When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.

It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.