#mixing 'i killed him and i dont regret it' with 'she gave me light and now im going to get killed by her' to end up with:

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Izana but give him a mental breakdown Golden Kamuy, chapter 310-style

[seancekitsch]

Barefoot

warnings: angst, communication issues, talking about relapsing, addiction, drugs and alc, not overtly mentioned but like these characters are like this bc of trauma and repression, spoilers for the movie the graduate which i severely misunderstood as a kid, dirty fuckin smut

When you wake up, Klaus isn’t there. Just like yesterday. Just like the day before yesterday.  Or the day before that. The bed is cold even with you in the sheets. Light streams into the window but it does nothing to help. The studio is drafty and it will only get colder in the winter months, and those socks are already coming in handy. Rent is due soon and while you’d be surprised if Klaus left you alone with the lease, you’d couldn’t be sure. People had left you before, but Klaus is the one you wouldn't know how to cope without. His tea from four days ago is still sitting on the bistro table, cold and settling, surely disgusting but you’re afraid that if you touch it, if you clean it up, well then. Klaus wouldn’t return. Klaus would be gone from this apartment . Vanishing himself from this studio and this life like one of his ghosts. The tea would evaporate eventually or grow mold but it was all you had to hold onto for him to come back. Maybe it all wasn’t real. Maybe it was a trick of your imagination. Maybe you’re the ghost. Maybe you’re just a trick of his imagination that he got tired of playing with and-

Fuck. That’s when you realize you’re in a bad way. 

What do normal people do when they feel things getting bad again? Do other people feel the backslide and just somersault into it by refusing to clean or get out of bed? By dealing with the pitiful look from their boss by buying absinthe on the way home from work? God, the look Margie gave you. It killed you. By convincing themselves that all of this good they just had was just a Belle Reve and you were Blanche about to be taken right back to the clinic? You actively gag as you sip from the bottle starting around noon, the sweetness at first being a fun distraction, now actively grossing you out as you continued to drain it. Absinthe wasn't actually the plan, it was just there, it was just strong. Now you regret it and wish you got something you even liked. At least this is the worst of it, though. Before you would have fully slid back into your old ways and not thought twice. 

You wonder if there was something about your role in what transpired, if there was something you could have done or not done to change the outcome. Could you have kissed him and shut him up so he never would have said ‘I love you’? Could you have done something other than shake your head ‘no’ out of panic and start to cry? Could you have just said it fucking back because you mean it too? Could you have not continued to panic and said something along the lines of “I’m not a replacement for Dave” when Klaus tried to say it again? Could you have said or done anything just to stop him from hastily dressing himself and leaving in the middle of the night, leaving you there silently crying on the bed? If he were anyone else, you would have said it back immediately, because if it were anyone but him, words would be something you just threw around aimlessly. They're just words. You'd said it a million times to your ex-fiance. If this were anyone else, you would have said it back immediately, and probably relapsed the next morning in panic. But it isn't anyone else. Its Klaus fucking Hargreeves. It's the guy from across the hall at the clinic. It's the guy who helped you steal socks, then a table to eat dinner at. It's the guy you literally have traveled across time and space for. And you did love him. It wasn't just a phrase. You knew that for a while now, but part of you would have liked to keep it hidden forever. Because once you say it, the bubble bursts. It's out there and you can't take it back. It's real and tangible and it's not the fantasy of Klaus, it's Klaus himself. In order to say it you'd have to kill the fantasy Klaus. You’d have to murder him and all of the mythology around him and live in the real world with him, which might have even been stranger than any fantasy you could come up with. He deserved better than this. He deserves more than me, you think, than someone who would hurt him to protect herself. Selfish bitch. Gotta do better. By the time you finish half the bottle, eat your cold lo mein take out from two days ago, and decide to take a nap, you've made a decision. If you ever see Klaus Hargreeves again (which is doubtful because you don't plan on leaving this bed unless it's for work and even that feels like not a good enough reason) you'll kill the fantasy Klaus and commit to loving the real Klaus.

But sleep doesn't come. The cold leftovers sit like a rock in your stomach, not at all mixing well with the green liquorice liquor you've downed, so you lay there eyes-closed begging for the pain to subside. It's a familiar feeling, much like the week and a half in the bed before Klaus inserted himself into your life. The ache and the want for more than you have but the inability to give it to yourself. So you lay there. You just lay there, for hours. Thank god Margie gave you a few days off. You lose all track of time just laying there, actively trying not to think, trying to ignore how you feel both physically and mentally, curling into the sheets until you can feel yourself melt into them.  

It’s dark when you hear the keys rattle in the lock, and then the door opens. You keep your eyes shut, because if you do you can pretend it’s an intruder, coming to rob you of your mismatched dishes and beat up old record player before killing you. Which is a reasonable and comforting fantasy that you rather hide in than face Klaus. Klaus was real and Klaus loved you and Klaus got in your head. The intruder is a fantasy and the intruder is horror and the intruder might not even let you beg for your life. You can gladly imagine the intruder using keys that maybe he stole off of Klaus to come in here and steal all of your monetarily worthless shit and then just stab you or something anticlimactic. You know exactly what you want to say to Klaus and how to say it but you don’t know if it’ll come out of your mouth when the time comes, so you cling to this stupid horrible thought to take your mind off of the sound of footsteps entering the apartment. So you keep your eyes shut when you hear the sound of boots being taken off, when you hear the deflating sigh, the pattering around the room slowly before you hear the sounds of ruffling, probably his coat being taken off. You keep your eyes shut as there's a distinct silence in the room besides your best fake-asleep deep breathing. Like he's holding his breath and waiting for something.

You lay still, keeping up the fake sleeping, as the mattress creaks and dips next to you and Klaus sighs again. He emanates the warmth that had all but been stoked from the apartment and left you shivering. You can feel yourself pulling towards him, wanting to wrap your arms around him and hold him and never let go again, but you don't. There's always the off chance this is just a very strong hallucination brought on by the bottle of green fairy on the floor next to the bed. But fuck, if you dont wanna just pull him close. 

“I know you're awake,” he says lowly, so close to you. His face is centimeters from yours, if you had to guess, nose just almost touching your own.

“You know, I used to watch you sleep all the time. You- you do this… this cute twitchy thing when you're out cold,” he continues. He sighs, realizing you're either much more stubborn than he thought or much more avoidant of anything vulnerable than he is. It took him a day of sitting on Diego’s floor while being lectured for his drinking habits for him to realize that he couldn't give up with you. He made peace with the fact that he couldn't save Dave. He couldn't change history, but he could change the future he could have with you if only he didn't let this go. But it was his conversation with your boss that had him worried. It wasn't like you not to show up for work, even if things were tough.

 “You know you’re actually terrible at faking it, right?” he asks, for clarification. You want to open your eyes, to laugh, but you keep them shut and a tear escapes down your cheek.

“Can you— can you just look at me? Please?”

It hurts, it fucking hurts but you shake your head no.

“Oh don’t do that shit again. C’mon, doc, look at me!”

You can’t.

“Your tea went cold. I-I’m sorry,” is barely a whisper. But you say it. And he hears it.

“Hey! Hey hey hey, don’t worry about that. Don’t worry.”

He chooses his next words very carefully. If you were to open your eyes, you’d see him yearning to touch you, a worried and pained expression all over his handsome features. You’d see his hair just as unkempt as yours and the tee shirt he’s wearing is also obviously yours. You’d see those beautiful green eyes doing their best impression of bambi right after the hunting scene.

“What have you... what’s been going on? You haven’t been by the shop.”

“You went there?” you whisper again. Still kind of afraid this all isn’t real. You know it is because you feel his breath fanning out against your face and you feel the bed becoming the warm welcoming thing it once was.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. Margie said you weren’t coming in for a week.”

“She spoke to you?” you wince. Knowing that was probably highly unpleasant for the both of them. Half the time when he showed up at the end of your shift she made him wait outside of the shop and refused to look at him.

“Yeah Margie, christ that woman loves you.”

Your eyes shoot open, startling him a little, but he relaxes by the time your eyes adjust to the dark. You see him and only him. Everything is Klaus.

“Listen, I-“ You start a little too loudly, scaring yourself.

“No, no. Don’t say something you don’t mean. Don’t say it back because I said it.”

Fuck. Fuck is he even going to believe it when I say it? If not what’s the fucking point? You feel more tears pricking at your eyes and you crumble a little. The burst of confidence is gone as you curl farther in on yourself, feeling your legs brush his as you let out just the tiniest choked sob. He’s frozen, and your hand is searching, blindly grabbing against the sheet until it comes in contact with his. Hurriedly, as if he would sift through your fingers like sand, you entangle your fingers with his and squeeze as hard as you can. Like if you let go he goes too. You can’t lose him again but it sounds like a break up. It sounds like what you remember a break up sounding like.

“Please,” fuck you sound pathetic.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine. It’s okay if you don’t love me back. I can go stay at Diego’s or Vanya’s or something and we can figure out how to get out of the lease early. Anything you want. I just wanted to let you know I meant what I said. You’re not a replacement for anyone. You’re who I want. But you don’t have to want me back. I’ll... live.” he finishes flatly, devoid. 

Your heart is officially breaking. Into a million tiny fucking pieces. A memory comes to the forefront of your mind in that moment. The first time you choked him. The way he looked up at you. The way you realized at that second just how many people probably took advantage of him in the past. The way he probably thinks you’ve done to him now too.

“No, Klaus please listen to me,” your voice doesn’t sound like your own, doesn’t feel like your own. You feel far away from him even though his hand is clasped in your own. You feel like that scene in the graduate where Dustin Hoffman is interrupting Elaine Robinson’s wedding. Screaming and slamming fists against the glass trying to change your fate. Trying to get him to see.

“I was scared. Fuckin terrified. I- I- I- I’ve never said those words and meant it before,” you gasp between sobs now much more eager to spill out of your mouth, “It wasn’t you, I got in my own head about it. I got surprised. I love you, Klaus. I love you so fucking much I  didn’t touch a fucking thing in this apartment because I was afraid somehow that meant you wouldn’t come back. I know I’m not replacing Dave. I know. I don’t know why I said that. I've wanted to take it back since the second I said it. I've hurt so  many people and I hurt the one person I didn’t wanna hurt. I never wanna hurt you again. I love you. fuck. I don’t want to stop saying that. I love you.”

Klaus... is surprisingly quiet through your little speech. Maybe it’s because you can’t control what your voice is doing, and you’re crying. He’s staring at you so hard it feels as if he's trying to look through you, see the transparencies, see the truth in what you're saying. You want to shrink under his gaze, knowing he's trying to sus out if you mean it, feeling vulnerable each passing ticking second.

But then his hand squeezes yours back just as hard. If he squeezed hard enough he could easily crush a few of your bones, and you'd let him if it meant he understood.

“You do,” more a confirmation than a question.

“I do.”

“Say it.”

“I love you.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you,” with more force, more conviction.

“Once more, with feeling!” a smile is beginning to grace his lips.

“I fucking love you, Klaus!” you shout pretty much directly into his face. He doesn't mind a damn bit. He presses forward eagerly; releasing your hand only to roughly cup the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin. It hurts, but in the most satisfying way. Your hands reach and grip for his face, greedily moving your palms over his jawbone as you lock him into place. Klaus is dizzying in his fervor, barely letting you keep up as his teeth clatter against yours, bite at your lips, his tongue darting between your tasting lips and tickling the roof of your mouth. there’s no letting up to the onslaught even as his hands travel, one hand trailing trimmed nails down your back, sure to leave a mark even with the barrier of your shirt, the other groping at your chest, seeking out a nipple to harshly pinch, making you squeak into his mouth in shock at his actions. As possessive and kinky as he could be at times, he has never been this rough with you. And you like it. He takes the time to bite down on your bottom lip, pull away, shake his head a little before mercifully releasing it and putting his forehead to yours.

“Oh you, you—“ he draws out, scoffs, “you wicked thing. You had me worried.”

“I’m sorry,” you gasp.

His grip on you softens, relaxes. His eyes shut just so, full of contentment. His nose nuzzles forward until you're cheek to cheek, and you can feel your cheek isn't the only one that's a little damp.

“Stop apologizing. I have you back now,” he whispers, sounding the most at peace you've ever heard him. He presses a kiss to the skin right at the place where your jawbone and ear meet, making you shiver at the sound of contact. He pulls you flush with his body, a tight hug, just holding you there before maneuvering your body so you were laying flat, your chest and shoulders pressed to the bed while he presses kisses to your face.

“Trust me,” he says, and you do. He lays himself back down, on top of you, and fuck, you love this. You love when he lays on you, when you feel his weight resting on you. Earlier today you thought you'd never feel this again, and the fact that thought was false has you grinning from ear to ear and reaching back to play with his curls as his arms find their way under you to hug you as you chant your love for him like a mantra. And then you feel it. Klaus is hard as a rock. Poor thing, it's been almost a week for him, when the two of you were so used to going at it basically anytime you had a spare half hour. Playfully, you grind back into him a little bit. Nothing that means business, but just a little brush of your ass against his cock to have him squirm a little. He reacts immediately with a growl and buries his face in the side of your neck to kiss and bite your neck and shoulder, while one hand removes itself from the hug to slide up your shirt again and blindly grope at your chest. Two can play at this game. You grind back again, a little harder, a little more deliberate in your movements this time. You're both chuckling as he starts to grind back, both feeling extremely free and confident in your control over each other's bodies. He knows he could have your sweatpants off and be inside you in under a minute, and you know you could easily have him blow his load in his pants if you keep it up teasing him like this. But how long can you really keep it up without wanting to give in to your own desires? You're painfully aware that it's been days you've had to survive without Klaus’ touch, too.

“You wanna end kiddie hour here?” he asks, and he couldn't have asked soon enough, because you're shimmying your sweatpants down with clumsy help from your hand that's somewhat trapped under him and laughing as he just as blunderingly removes his. Neither of you bother to fully remove them because the second his cock makes contact with your skin you're sighing and reminding him you love him. He lines himself up with you without using his hands like this is something he just instinctively knows how to do. 

When he pushes into you, you whimper. Full on whimper like it's too much even though this is something you've done hundreds of times with him, but somehow it's new. Maybe making love isn't just a sentimental name for fucking. Maybe you're making love for the first time. Maybe now you know the difference. He brings the arm that was under your shirt back up and trails it down your arm until it gets to your hand, where he rubs his palm against your knuckles, almost inquisitively before tangling your fingers together and squeezing. Holding it in place. His other arm reaches just a little further, hugging you from behind and giving your waist a little squeeze as a ‘get ready’ signal. You tilt your ass back up at him a little as he pulls out, thrusts back in again. Only this time his thrust is punctuated with an “I love you”.

And so is the next one. 

And the next one. 

Until he works up a rhythm that leaves the both of you moaning and stuttering. You hike up one leg, changing the angle so slightly that his hips snap up into you in a way guaranteed to bruise. You’d happily have it hurt to sit for the next week if he kept fucking into you like he would break you. Klaus puts his full strength into fucking you, legs pinning you to the mattress as he uses the arm that’s holding your hand for extra leverage. Sweat dripping off of his chest as he kisses your back and moans and laughs into your skin. It’s times like this you remember your partner is fully trained in combat. For someone so lean, he’s strong, and he has strong control over the muscles in his body. It’s like a kind of clairvoyance he has to know exactly what parts of your body to touch, what to do to have you losing it around him all the time. Is Klaus Clairvoyant? You think as the angle of his thrusts changes ever so slightly, but still at that rough pace, now making your clit grind into the sheets beneath you making you scream out.

“That’s right, baby. You feel good?” he groans. Little shit.

“Yeah,” you whine, looking back to make eye contact.

“Who’s making you feel good?” Oh, he’s working for an ego stroke as well as a cock stroke. You’ll give it to him. Klaus deserves it.

“Oh, fuck— y-you, Klaus”

“And who do you love?”

“Fuck. You, Klaus! I love you so much,” words leak from your mouth like a sieve. “I love how- how you fuck me so good.”

“That’s right, and now I'm gonna make you come. Trust me.”

That's the second time tonight he’s asked you to trust him. You do, unwaveringly.He gives you no time to react before he speeds up his thrusts and the hand around your waist dips lower. He leans off of you a little, giving you a little more space, but plunges his hand between your legs. instead of stopping at your clit, he goes as far as to push a finger, his middle finger, up into you as well. And then the bastard curls his finger just slightly. The action has you turning into the pillow to scream. It's too much. It's too much. You've never been this full in your life and now it feels almost sinful how easily you are coming apart for him. You're shaking and with the added pressure of his finger you can feel just how hard your body is squeezing his cock. You can feel tears leaving your eyes for the second time tonight as you babble about how much you love him and your body jolts for his touch. He finishes too, inside you and happily pushed into the hilt. The whine that leaves your throat when he pulls out finally is unfair and needy. Already missing being so full of him. He rolls back over so that he's not on top of you, and pulls you in tight.

“I don't want to stop saying it,” he mutters into your hair, and you wait for him to continue patiently. 

“I don't want to stop saying I love you.”

“Then don't.”

“I won't. But I will throw away this take out. This lo mein is old. It smells.”

You laugh loud and hearty, and he gets up from the bed, fully kicking his pants off as he does so, and there's no fear that he won't come back to bed with you this time.

[a-singleboat]

I Need A Hero

Word Count: 4.5k

Request: i am formally requesting an emily fic 😌 i dont want to be needy but em being lowkey but then super protective of you 🥵 angst with a happy ending would be amazing - anon

A/N: Let me know what you think! This is my first emily x reader so :D

Content Warnings: Blood, Reader getting hurt, Reader getting assaulted, kidnapping, swearing, alcohol, drugs

You should have listened to Emily. You really should have listened to her. 

Emily was always just a tad bit overprotective of you, sometimes going as far as to asking you to wear a GPS device to clubs especially if she wasn’t going with you. You understood, of course. With her past and her current job, she had to make sure all her bases were covered. You were just one of them. 

Though you rarely agreed to the GPS deceive, it was still flattering that she thought of you as important enough to keep track of. Usually, you’d just stick to texting her to let her know where you were. That was good enough for her.

But when she told you to stay home today, you thought that was her just being overly cautious, overly protective, as usual. You should have known better. 

Turns out a serial killer with an affinity for women visibly similar to yourself was on the loose, details kept from the public due to the fact that the man was a flight risk. That being, it was painfully obvious why the “unsub,” to use Emily’s terminology, was a flight risk. 

He flinched at every sound. At first, you tried to call out for someone--anyone. Well, that gained you a bloody gash on the side of your head. You didn’t make that mistake twice. Instead, you tried to remain calm and complacent--two things that Emily once said would ensure that you’d survive in a situation like this.

“Annie,” the man, Stephen, crooned. He picked up a doll from the table of toys and brought it over to you. From what you could tell, the doll was dirty and half-rotted away, as if it had been buried for a good while. He pressed it up to your face, the side coated in blood, and cooed at you. “Annie, I have Mrs. Buttercup here. Don’t cry, she’ll make it all better.”

You tried not to wince away as he rubbed the doll against your face. If Stephen wasn’t going to kill you, infection just might. 

“Th-thank you, Mrs. Buttercup,” you whimpered, hands grasping the end of the armrests. The chair rocked backward as he put pressure on the doll, forcing you backward. You panicked as your feet left the ground, struggling to at least get a toe back on the solid concrete. 

God, you should have listened to Emily. If you were going to die, you’d spend the rest of your immortal life regretting the choice you made to leave the house today. 

Stephen looked into your eyes, searching for something. You knew all he’d find was fear so you tried your best to wrestle down your emotions. You held back the tears threatening to spill, holding your breath as he leaned in closer. 

“You know I’d never hurt you, right?” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, the one not wet with your blood. You grimaced at the feeling of his chapped lips against your skin. “I-I didn’t mean to earlier, Annie. You were just being so loud and… you understand, right?”

You nodded, lip quivering as he brought the doll to your chin, tilting your head upward. He forced you to look at him, smearing blood along your jawline as he did. 

After a few moments of deliberation, he let you go, the rocking chair swaying back and forth until it settled back into a resting position. “You must be hungry,” he decided, dropping Mrs. Buttercup back into the piles of toys. “I’ll go make you your favorite.”

He flinched as a loud sound came from outside--a car alarm going off. The sound made you relax, however. The sound of a car alarm meant you weren’t in an abandoned factory somewhere. You were most likely in this guy’s basement, or something similar. 

Stephen gripped the sides of his head as the alarm continued, only letting go when the alarm finally shut off. He collected himself, fists clenching before relaxing at his sides. His smile returned though you can only really see his teeth in the low light. 

“I’ll be back, Annie,” he said, waving at you. “Don’t move.”

The last two words were more threatening than anything he’d actually done, true menace seeping into his voice like a poison. You waited for him to disappear around the corner before allowing yourself to cry, a few tears rolling down your cheeks and mixing with the blood. 

You gasped for air, struggling to keep your breathing steady. It wouldn’t do you any good to hyperventilate now. You looked around for something--anything--that could possibly be used to alert someone that you were down here. 

God, how long had it been? You lost count after the first thirty minutes. There were no windows so you couldn’t even tell if it was still day. Emily was probably freaking out by now. No doubt she had somehow gotten the entire United States Military involved by now, your safety being the only thing on her mind. 

Another ten or so minutes passed without Stephen. You wondered how the other victims had died. Blood loss seemed to be the only thing on your mind, unsure if your head wound had clotted yet. All you could feel was the wet of your own bodily fluid on the side of your face, which didn’t help much. Everything else just seemed numb. 

Your head lolled to the side as you heard footsteps approach, unable to lift your head as flashlights combed the ground. You barely reacted as the door got kicked in, eyelids closing as two blurry figures approached you. One of the figures shouted something behind them while the other came to you, patting your face lightly in an attempt to get you to stay awake. 

Unable to remain conscious, you allowed sleep to claim you as the person above you shouted more words, all unintelligible as your consciousness faded from reality. 

_____

Emily never did like hospitals. 

Ever since her “death,” she tried to avoid them as much as possible but now, for you, she would make an exception. She waited in the waiting room alongside her teammates. None of them knew you personally, but they all knew about you. From the stories Emily would tell to the snippets of various phone conversations they accidentally overheard, they could tell that you were something good for their Unit Chief. 

She propped her elbows up on her legs, holding her head up as she struggled to stay away. You hadn’t needed surgery but had lost a lot of blood as well as suffered major trauma. The doctors weren’t allowing anyone in as they observed you for any possible signs of infection as well as any withdrawal symptoms from the drugs the unsub had used to knock you out. It was all very dramatic, the extent of your actual injuries being minimal compared to what could have happened. 

“Stop worrying.” Morgan reached over, putting a hand on her knee. She hadn’t even realized she’d been bouncing it up and down, too worried about how you were doing. It had been a few hours at that point, nurses going in and out of your room but none of them saying anything about your state of being. 

“She’s fine. You know this. Everything they’re doing is just precautionary,” Morgan continued. He patted her knee twice, lifting his hand to point at a white-coated doctor exiting your room. “Look, the doctor’s here now. He’ll tell you that everything’s okay.”

“Y/n Y/l/n?”

Emily stood, smoothing out her blazer. “That’s me. I’m Emily Prentiss, her fiancée.”

A little white lie wouldn’t hurt, especially not when it would get her the answers she needed. 

“Well, Ms. Prentiss, Y/n is expected to make a full recovery. The trauma to her head won’t have any lasting effects. She has some bruising on her side, we think from being dropped. We want to keep her overnight to watch for infection and, of course, the withdrawal effects from the xylazine. You may see her now but you won’t be able to stay overnight with her.” 

“Thank you, doctor,” Emily said, shaking the man’s hand before he departed. She turned around to face her friends. “You guys can go home, I’ll call a cab back home later. Thank you for being here for me.” 

Morgan gave her an incredulous look, standing from his seat. “Emily, if you think we’re just going to leave you then you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Yeah,” Garcia piped up. “We’ll be right here for you. None of us are leaving.” 

“You would do the same for any of us,” Reid backed her up.

Now Emily wasn’t one for tears but upon hearing the support she got from her friends, she could feel herself starting to tear up. She took a stabilizing breath, thanking them before turning to head into your hospital room. 

It was quiet. That was the first thing she noticed. Instead of your infectious laugh filling the void space, it was the steady beeping of the machine connected to your finger, ensuring that you still had a heartbeat. It broke Emily’s heart to see you like this, bloodied and bruised. 

She dragged one of the hospital chairs over to your bedside, hesitating before taking your hand up in hers. It was all her fault that you were here. If her job was less dangerous, you’d have still been in your hometown rather than following her all the way to Quantico, Virginia. You probably would have already been married with five adoptive children like you always wanted.

Instead, you're here. In a hospital in Washington DC recovering from being kidnapped by a psycho that Emily most likely unknowingly brought back to your home. If you didn’t hate her after this, she’d consider it a miracle. 

_____

The first thing you saw when you came to was Emily’s face full of worry, her eyebrows knitted together in concentration as she thought long and hard. Your hand was in hers, still limp as you slowly regained feeling in your extremities. 

Very gently, you squeezed her hand, letting her know you were awake. 

“Hi baby,” you whispered, your throat a bit scratchy from the lack of lubrication. As if reading your mind, she handed you a cup of water off the hospital bedside table. You took a few sips, keeping your eyes on your girlfriend as she looked deep in thought. 

You set the water aside, groaning as you realized your entire side was sore. You couldn’t remember if you hit it against something. From what you knew, the only injury you suffered was your head wound, which was newly wrapped. 

You looked her up and down, squeezing her hand slightly to gain her attention. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

Emily bit her lip, carefully picking her next words. “Y/n… I think we should take a break.”

This came out of nowhere. Her words slammed into you harder than a football quarterback would have, stealing all the breath from your lungs as you processed her words. 

“What?”

“We should take a break. It’s just--I put you in more danger than you asked for and you don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve not knowing when or if I’ll come home. You don’t deserve me dropping plans for a case or forgetting your birthday because I’m working. You deserve someone who can be there and I’m sorry, but I’m not that. I-I don’t deserve you.”

“What? Emily, no. First off, you don’t get to decide what I do and don’t deserve. Second, none of this was any of your fault. I knew what your job was from the very beginning and I chose to stay because I wanted to. So what if you forget my birthday, there’s always next year and so what if you cancel plans, we’ll just make new ones. Emily, please don’t--” Tears pearled in the corners of your eyes as your voice caught in your throat. “Baby, where did this come from?”

She shrugged, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. She let go of your hand, pulling away even as you tried to keep her there. “I’ll see you around, Y/n.”

You couldn’t do anything as she walked out. You called for her, hands shaking as you tried to think of something--anything to say to her as she left your life. The worst part wasn’t even her leaving, you later decided. The worst part was that Emily Prentiss didn’t even bother turning around for one last look. She just left you with your broken heart scattered about the room, leaving you to pick up your own pieces. 

_____

You wanted to hate Emily Prentiss. You really did. 

The way she just left you leaving you numb until you were forced to feel everything as you underwent twenty-four hours of withdrawal. Xylazine wasn’t something to mess with, you knew that even before you have been drugged with it. But now, two months after you and Emily split paths, you stayed in Virginia. 

Why would you move? You’d already built up a life in the state. All your friends were there and so was your job, which you had grown to love despite the overbearing mother that neighbored workspaces with you. 

You knew Nancy meant well, that she just wanted to make sure you were adjusting to work well after you’d been kidnapped, but sometimes you just wanted the woman to take a long walk away from you and never return. Right now was one of those times. 

“It’s been two months,” Nancy said, looking up from her computer screen. She had been finalizing her schedule for that week, boxing off the times she needed so she could go visit her son in college. “You need to move on with your life. Find yourself another girlfriend or at least go out with your friends. I hate seeing you all mopey like this.” 

Nancy had a point. You did need to make an effort to go out, to go back to “normalcy” or whatever. Even your therapist was pushing you to socialize, saying that it could help you get over the recurring nightmares. 

“I don’t want to go out tonight, Nancy,” you replied, trying to focus on the work in front of you. The numbers were starting to blur together but you persevered. You didn’t have much longer until the end of work. As soon as you finished the spreadsheet on the screen in front of you, you were home free. 

“At least try, Y/n,” Nancy insisted. “Call up some of your friends, hit the club. Even if you don’t drink, at least try to have fun again.”

“But I have fun talking to you. Why do I need to go have more fun.”

Nancy wasn’t taking any of your shit. She packed away her things, powering down her computer. She lowered her standing desk and pulled her purse over her shoulder. “Hopefully you’ll be telling me all about your night out when I see you tomorrow morning. Good night, Y/n.”

Grumpily, you replied, “Good night, Nancy.” 

You stayed at the office thirty minutes more and after a solid five-minute debate with yourself, you gave in and called up your friends. Lyndsey and Brenna both said they’d be down while Brent replied with utter regret, saying he had been roped into working the night shift. 

And so you drove to Lyndsey’s to get ready, agreeing to be the DD seeing as you didn’t exactly want to get pissed drunk--especially not with Emily still on your mind. 

You drove the three of you to the nearest club, showing your IDs to the bouncer and entering without a problem. 

“I’m gonna get us shots,” Brenna shouted over the music, disappearing a moment later. You and Lyndsey stumbled over to a table, claiming it for the three of you as the music seemed to grow louder. 

Brenna pushed through the crowd to get back to the two of you, two shots balanced in one hand with another in her other. “Y/n, I know you said you weren’t drinking but one drink can’t hurt.”

“Yeah, Y/n,” Lyndsey ganged up on you. She took the two shots from Brenna, holding the second one out to you. “Besides, Brenna already paid for it so you have to.” 

You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly, giving in to their peer pressure. You figured you were already out, what was one shot gonna do? You took up the little glass, counting down with your friends before knocking back the alcohol. You made a face at the taste, coughing a little as it burned a trail down past your lungs. 

“Let’s dance!” Brenna cheered, pulling both of you out onto the dance floor. Laughing, you allowed her to drag you along. She pulled you both on either side of her, jumping up and down as the music pounded into your eardrums, the rhythmic beat coursing through your body. 

I made a promise to you, to never let you go.

You swayed to the music, holding onto Lyndsey’s hands as she sang along. She twirled you around, causing you to giggle. Brenna serenaded you from behind, grabbing your hips and making you sway. 

But now I see you're moving on and I'm still all alone, oh oh.

From across the club, your eyes connected with a familiar pair. Emily Prentiss stared you down. Around her were her work friends, all drinking their cares away. None of them realized that you were there. 

Every time I say I'm happy for you I just lie, oh oh. I made a promise to you and I'm still holding on, oh oh.

You forced yourself to look away, suddenly not in the mood to be dancing. Still, you forced a smile, sticking it out for the rest of the song. As All Mine faded into the next song, you excused yourself for water. Not thinking much of it, they let you go, continuing to dance with each other. 

You stumbled off the floor, accidentally bumping into a guy who looked like a frat boy from one of the colleges in the area. 

“Sorry,” you apologized, stepping away. Instead of going back to clubbing on his own, he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him. 

“No need to be sorry, baby,” he drunkenly slurred, hands already moving down your body. “I’m Chad. What’s your name, princess?’ 

“None of your business,” you spat, trying to break free of his grip. Your attempts were futile, however, his grip tightening instead of loosening like you wanted it to. Memories of your abduction flashed through your mind as he placed a sloppy kiss on your cheek, the feeling of Stephen’s chapped lips pressed against the same cheek causing you to freeze up. 

“Please let go,” you whimpered, though your pleas were drowned out by the music. Tears started to fall as he kissed down your neck, your body frozen as he took advantage of you. 

It seemed you had an angel on your side that night because Chad was ripped off you not even a moment later, your savior having torn him off your body and thrown him back a good few inches. 

“Get the fuck away from her,” Emily said, placing herself between you and your assailant. 

Chad squared up to Emily, cocking his head sideways as if to intimidate her. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” 

Emily whipped out her badge, shoving it into the poor fool’s face. “FBI,” she said with authority. “Now scram.”

Chad paled at the badge, most likely never having had a run-in with law enforcement before. He scrambled backward, almost knocking over a dancing couple before disappearing back into the crowd. 

Emily turned back around to face you, tucking her ID back in her pocket. 

“Are you okay?” she asked you with a gentleness you could almost mistake with care. You scoffed. You weren’t going to fall for that again. 

“What the fuck, Emily?” you raged. “You think you can just swoop in and save the day. Newsflash, I don’t need you. I don’t need your help and I most certainly don’t need your pity. You can take your false care and shove it.”

You stormed off, not even letting her respond. You went to find your friends, who had both migrated to the bar. 

“We need to leave,” you said, your voice thick with tears. You probably looked like a mess, tears streaking down your face and your body still shaking. You didn’t know if it was anger or fear. 

Lyndsey must have sensed something happened because she jumped to your side the second the words came out of your mouth, urging Brenna to finish her drink so that the three of you could leave. You made your way out of the club, collapsing into the side of the building as the tears started to pour. 

“What happened?” Lyndsey demanded, yanking a pack of travel tissues from her clutch and handing you one. You dabbed under your eyes, trying to salvage whatever makeup you had put on that night. 

“I saw Emily,” you blubbered, accepting another tissue from your friend. “And I said something terrible. Oh, my God. She probably hates me now!”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Brenna comforted you, rubbing circles into your back. “But didn’t she break up with you? Baby girl, you don’t need her.” 

You were quiet. You didn’t need Emily, but God did you want her. Not a moment went by that you didn’t miss her. She was everywhere. In the dress that you kept in the back of the closet to the little clay tray that the two of you bought together that held your keys. She was everywhere. 

“I just miss her,” you muttered, sniffling a bit as you calmed down. You felt ridiculous crying over a woman who made it quite clear that she wanted nothing to do with you. 

“Well, you could always talk to her,” Brenna suggested, her hand leaving your back. She pointed to the side where Emily was exiting the club, looking around for something… or rather, someone. 

At that moment, she noticed the three of you crouched by the wall. She hurried over, Lyndsey and Brenna getting up to form a protective barrier in front of you. 

“Lyndsey, Brenna,” she greeted your friends. “Can I please talk to Y/n?”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea right now,” Lyndsey said, her voice stern. You almost laughed at the thought of Lyndsey using her teacher's voice on Emily. You crumbled the used napkins in your hand, shoving it into your pocket as you collected yourself off the ground.

 You put your hand on Lyndsey’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” you said quietly. “We can talk.”

“Are you sure?” Lyndsey’s brows knit together, concern showing quite obviously on her face. You nodded, handing her the car keys. “You guys can go wait in the car. I won’t be long, I promise.”

Lyndsey looked between you and Emily cautiously. 

“Don’t worry,” Emily said, “I’ll make sure she gets back to you safely.” 

With one last look, Lyndsey took the keys and disappeared off to the car with Brenna not too far behind. Brenna turned around last minute, doing the ‘I’m watching you’ movement in Emily’s direction. 

The two of you stood together in silence, unsure of what the first move should be. You bit your lower lip, rocking back onto your heels nervously as Emily didn’t meet your eye. 

“I’m sorry,” both of you said at the same time, awkwardly laughing as you realized what had just happened. You pulled at your fingers, a nervous tic you had developed after your abduction. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeated. You looked up at her. “I’m sorry I went off on you back there. You didn’t deserve any of that, you were just trying to help.”

Emily shook her head. “No, you don’t have to apologize for anything. If anyone owes an apology, it’s me. I shouldn’t have done anything. You don’t deserve that and you don’t deserve any of what I put you through.”

You swallowed harshly. “It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” Emily said, chuckling as a way to diffuse some of the tension. “I’m a terrible person for what I did to you. I knew exactly what you had just gone through and I still went through with it. I made the choice for you without you even having a say and I regret that.”

“No,” you shook your head. “You’re not a terrible person. Emily, for the past two months I have done nothing but miss you. My goddamn therapist even suggested I reach out to you despite what you did. Breaking up with me while I was in the hospital was a shitty move, I’ll agree, but it doesn’t make you a terrible person. I promise.” 

“You miss me?” Emily asked, her voice small. It was a change from her normal confidence. Her vulnerability and insecurity showed through her normally strong front. You couldn’t help but smile at her, taking a step closer to her. 

You hesitated before taking her hand in your own. You brought a hand to her face, caressing her smooth features. 

“I did--do miss you,” you admitted. “And before you ask anything else, I forgave you a long time ago.”

Emily’s head dropped against your hand, her eyes closing in an attempt to block out the tears that threatened to fall. 

“I don’t deserve you,” she muttered.

You ran a thumb over her cheekbone, memorizing her features. “Bullshit,” you said, your voice low. You pulled her closer, standing on your toes so that your lips could meet. It was slow and passionate as you tried to convey all the emotions you felt for her through that simple action. Your arms looped around her neck as she reacted, pulling you in closer by the waist. 

The kiss turned desperate as Emily tried to make up for the last time, tears rolling down your face as you realized everything into the abyss. You felt yourself relax into Emily, pulling away as you sobbed. 

She put her hand under your chin gently, lifting your face so that your eyes met hers. 

“Why are you crying, baby?” she asked, her voice a whisper. She kissed underneath your eyes, most likely tasting the salt of your tears. You couldn’t help it, the tears weren’t stopping. 

“I just really missed you,” you admitted, wiping the tears away with the heel of your hand. Emily took your hand in hers, bringing them up to her mouth so she could place a kiss on your knuckles. It was the same gesture she had made two months ago before she broke up with you but this time, the message that came with them was different. 

“If you give me another chance, I promise I won’t screw it up,” she said, running her thumb over your knuckles.” I-I promise I’ll work harder on being the woman you deserve.”

You hummed, resting your head on her chest as she drew her arms around you, protecting you from the world and all the evils within it. 

“You already are.”

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@beautiful-holland​ @toms-order​ @starlightfound​ @lemirabitur​ @grandmascottlang​ @positiveparker​ @bippity-boppity-boopa​ @caswinchester2000​

[sick-in-luv]

A/n: Finn is my ideal type oops🤭💀 feel free to request💕

Warning⚠️:drug use

How you met:

🤘Finn Slater Anson🤘

• You and Finn met at one of his concerts.

• The drummer for his band was your best friends brother, Jessie,and he gave you two back stage passes so you could hang out with them after the show.

• Of course you didn't pass up the chance to go to a Curdled Blood concert,and she was just happy that she didn't have to go alone.

• "My brothers band is real cool you know? Nothing like you'd expect them to be. Well except maybe Finn,he's kinda creepy"

• She definitely sounded like she thought he was more than just kinda creepy,but you just shook it off. If she wasn't worried than neither were you.

• The concert was incredible. Both you and your friend got the privilege of sitting in the VIP area,where you were close enough to the stage to touch the band.

• It was your first time seeing them preform and you were more than impressed. Especially with the lead singer.

• You never expected someone who looked so grungy could have such an amazing voice,but you were hypnotized from the moment he started to the moment they got off stage.

• It wasnt long before a big guy with 'staff' written in his black tshirt led you to the back stage area,where you saw everyone except the lead singer celebrating with shots.

• Your friend squealed loudly as she ran towards Jessie,and you smiled softly as they exchanged hugs and greetings.

• You couldnt help but feel a little awkward as she introduced you to everyone,only being able to give a small wave and a high pitched "hi" with resulted in them cooing at how cute you were,making you turn bright red,much to their amusement.

• They kept up the friendly teasing until a deep,almost hypnotic voice sounded from behind you,taking everyone's attention.

• "Well,well,well. What do we have here?"

• There,in all his sweaty shirtless glory,was the lead singer of Curdled blood,Finn Anson,and his deep blue eyes were looking straight at you.

• His long dark hair stuck to his face and shoulders,and the stud in his eyebrow glistened under the light.

• Even flushed and covered in sweat,he was unbelievably beautiful.

• Suddenly you regretted dressing in such tight clothes as his eyes trailed over your figure,his tongue peircing flashing as he licked over his teeth.

• Jessie was the first one to break the tence silence with an awkward laugh,throwing his arm over your shoulders. "Finn! You remember my little sister right? This is her friend (Y/n)! You know the one she always talks about.?"

• Finn smiled sweetly,"(Y/n) huh?" He bent down to eye level, sticking out his hand for you to shake "Well (Y/n) it's real nice to finally meet you"

• You felt your face flush at his closeness,and all you could do was nod shyly and stutter out a hello,taking his much larger hand in yours.

• Instead of shaking it,he brought it to his lips,placing a small peck on the back of your hand.

• You made a small noise of surprise,making him chuckle as he stood straight up again.

• You heard the people behind you let out an audible sigh of relief,which made his eyes shoot to them.

• Something dangerous flickered behind the deep blue hues before his face was overtaken with a giant charming smile.

• "Great show you guys! You fuckin' killed that solo Joey!" You saw the lead guitarist smile nervously "thanks man! It wouldn't have been so great if you didn't spend all that time helpin us out."

• Finn rolled his eyes,smile still present "pshh don't give me that! You guys were amazing." His smile turned into a smirk. "I think this calls for a celebration dont you?"

• His question was directed at the band,but his eyes landed on you again,and you felt heat rise to your face.

• After that the night only got more overwhelming. It was a mess of groupies,alcohol and drugs. Smoke filled your lungs every time you passed a crowd and at this point you were begging to find a door out of the suite so you could get some fresh air.

• Your friend was nowhere to be found,and all of the noise and fumes were starting to make you dizzy.

• It felt like hours before you found the exit,and you practically ran to the door,throwing it open and dashing towards the balcony.

• You took a few deep breaths trying to clear your lungs of smoke,before you heard a familiar deep chuckle.

• Your head snapped towards the sound,and you saw Finn sitting on a deep red sofa at a dark wood table,a mess of white powder and an assortment of mushrooms,pills and a frightening amount of switchables scattered in front of him.

• A tall brunette in a tight black dress was seated on the armrest next to him,running her acrylics through his hair. She stood out even between the three other people sat on the sofa,snorting whatever was in front of them

• "I take it your not use to this kinda scene? Either that or you took something bad cause you look like your about to pass out."

• It took a while for you to process that he was talking to you,and when you finally did a you could do was nod dumbly.

• He chuckled again and motioned to the girl,who stood up and walked over to you,grabbing your hand,leading you to sit next to Finn on the sofa before going inside "Awhh poor baby,you're feeling a bit overwhelmed aren't you?" He cooed,pressing his cold black painted fingers to your forehead.

• He pulled away and reached over the table,grabbing a rolled up bill and putting it to his nose,quickly snorting 3 long lines of white powder before pulling back with a sigh,sniffing a few times and leaning back

• You stared up at him,taking in how his long lashes rested on his flushed cheeks when you saw a bit of blood trickle out of his nose. You gasped softly making him open his eyes amd look at you.

• "Hey i got something that can help you calm down and enjoy the party. What do you say?" He smirked wiping the blood away.

• You shook your head slowly. "N-no thank you." He laughed lightly and moved to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

• "You can trust me okay? I'll be with you the whole time. It only lasts for a couple of hours" You looked down and considered it for a second as he reached over the table again,grabbing a small square with a smiley face on it and pressing it against his tongue,just below his piercing.

• Before you could protest,he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a messy kiss,his tounge pressing against yours.

• You moaned involuntarily,partially because of the surprise but mostly at the feeling of his soft lips and the salty taste of iron mixed with the slightly bitter taste of whatever he had in his mouth invading your senses.

• You couldn't help but lean into him,your hands going up to grab at his shirt. He chucked into your mouth,letting out a curse before deepening the kiss,only for a second before pulling away.

• He stuck his tongue out again and laughed and your flustered state,and you could see that the little square was completely gone.

• "That should help you relax a little." He reached over the table again,this time grabbing a small switch blade,admiring it for a bit before clicking it open "Now the real fun begins"

[izukult]

the stages of mourning △ {p.p}

warnings / i’m SORRY ok this is sad bitch hours. angst, swearing, death death death, kinda vividish descriptions of death!! she says fuck like 8009482849293929 times

summary / he couldn’t come home every time.

word count / 5.5k (i POPPED off)

notes / PROMISE i give it a somewhat tranquil ending i’m sorry. also please read this it took me so long i put so much TIME INTO THIS. ALSO I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THE READ MORE THING BC IM STUPID AND I FORGOT IM SO SORRY @ EVERYONE WHO DOESNT READ THIS PLS DONT HATE ME

[gif is not mine]

↴

denial

when you watched peter parker die, you pinched the skin on the back of your hand; you almost believed it was a nightmare because the physical pain was drowned out by the sight before you.

“peter- peter listen to me, hey-” your knees scraped on the cement of the road, small patches of your blood sliding onto the ground, melding into peters. “hey, it’s me. it’s y/n.” your hand was shaky as it came into contact with his shoulder, “it’s y/n.” you slowly pulled off his mask, grimacing at the discoloration of his face. his breathing was slow, heavy, as he looked at you. you could tell he was struggling with trying to close his mouth, and right when he did, he immediately coughed, gagging and spitting blood onto your torso.

“‘m sorry,” you shook your head, bottom lip quivering.

“no- no, pete, it’s okay. don’t be sorry. it’s okay,” your other hand came under his head, lifting him up slightly and cradling him like a newborn. “you’re okay.”

he smiled, as much as he could, and his eyes lazily scanned the area around you. he looked at the rubble and the indented car and other such mayhem around him. “did we do it? did i do it?” you nodded, clearing your throat to cover a sob.

“you did it, pete. you always do it.”

“spiderman always does it.” he grinned, wincing and shutting his eyes as tight as he could. the gashes on his stomach almost seemed protruding and he had marks of purple from previous encounters of asphyxiation. he clearly had broken ribs, and from the way it was bent, you could tell his left leg was broken. you didn’t look at that, though. instead, you looked at the way his hair still parted perfectly itself.

“no. no, you did it. peter parker did it.” he lifted a hand, almost pathetically, and lightly squeezed your arm.

“always did it for you,” and your heart wrenched. you let out a bark of a sob, your breathing becoming rapid. you wanted to close your eyes, rest your forehead on peters shoulder like you had so many times before, but you made sure to keep looking at him. looking at how he breathed, how his eyes held so much light even as he was dimming. you swiped your thumb over his cheekbone, smearing blood that had formed at another of his miscellaneous cuts.

“oh, sweet, sweet peter parker.” you remember that your voice was a hoarse whisper. at the time, it felt like that was all you could get out. you couldn’t speak louder or you would both shatter. at this point, people were gathering. to your disinterest, cameras were pointed. and, typically, you would’ve stopped them but right then all you could do was look at peter. “i love you so, so much.” and he smiled, he smiled that signature peter parker grin, clad with slightly broken teeth and a crinkle at his eyes. and then he convulsed. and his breathing sounded like hiccups and then it sounded like nothing and the brown of his eyes was almost a gray and they wouldn’t stop staring at you.

“peter-” you felt your heart stop, for just a second. your eyes widened, and you moved both your hands to his shoulders immediately. “peter, hey, peter-” you shook him, his corpse, slightly. “peter, please-.” and the sobs started to wrack your body again. you heard natasha’s gasp faintly over the pounding of your head, and you were sure tony had tried to pull you back but you jerked forward, back to the boy you loved.

“peter, please- please close your eyes, peter.” you shook him a little more, your wheezes erratic and your teeth chattering against each other. “peter, close your fucking eyes. this isn’t funny.” but he didn’t. he didn’t and you knew he wouldn’t. your shriek was louder than the commotion of everything around you.

“no.” your shook your head, maneuvering your arms under his back. “no no no-.” you lifted him up and regretted it as you caught a glimpse of what used to be him fall into the cracks of the ground from his stomach. you turned your head to the side, away from peter parker’s broken, perfect figure, and wretched until you were just dry heaving and sobbing and you didn’t know what was your blood and what was his but your tears were mixing into it. “no, you- you’re-.”

tony grabbed you again, gently trying to guide you from peter- from your peter.

“kid, you-.” you snapped your head to him, tears stains on your now pale skin. “he’s gone.”

“no. no!” you glared at him and you knew you shouldn’t talk to tony fucking stark like that but you didn’t care. “he’s fine. shut the fuck up.” you still held your broken boy in your hands as you looked at tony. “he promised- he-.” your body ruptured into sobs again.

“he said after this we’d- we’d just go home and watch- he promised we’d go to the compound and have a normal fucking night and this wouldn’t be a big fucking deal.” your eyes were wild and your face was scrunched. nothing about you was beautiful in this moment. “he promised.”

“i’m sorry.” never had you seen tony so deflated; never had you seen a town so deflated. suddenly, the air felt different, and the world felt darker. there was no more peter parker to light it anymore.

you turned back to him and sucked in a breath. “oh, pete,” you kissed his forehead, moving to each of his temples. you pressed three soft, pure kisses on his cheeks and nose, letting his blood become a lipstick that he had said was his favorite shade on you. when you kissed him, finally, his lips were starting to cool. they were chapped, as always, but they didn’t have the warmth and energy he radiated. this time, when you kissed him, his hands didn’t move your hair or rest on your waist, but they stayed down. this time, when you kissed him, there was none of him pulling back red and breathless just to look at you. this time, when you kissed him, there was nothing. your forehead pressed with his and your tears gave him the warmth that he was missing. “you promised.”

anger

you littered your body with bruises to match those that peter had; learned all the defenses that could’ve saved him.

handling peters death wasn’t something you we exactly doing. your body was weak; holding out on meals, drinking nothing but caffeine, and overworking daily.

you’d grown accustomed to falling asleep under the pressure of peters arm. you listened to his heartbeat instead of music- once you’d joked that since he was attuned to your heart you should memorize the tune of his-, and used his body heat as a blanket. now, when you closed your eyes, your body was too cold and too hot. now, when you closed your eyes, you saw how blank he became. now, when you closed your eyes, you remembered beating the almost defeated doctor octavius until he followed peter. now, when you closed your eyes, you felt the horror you’d felt when you realized you’d killed him.

your jaw was clenched, teeth grating against each other. your eyes were slits, glaring at the black clad bag. you lifted your hands in a right, left, right formation before following with two immediate left jabs. you stopped taping your hands the day after peter died. you let the sand in the bag crack your skin, push your knuckles inwards, bend your fingers slightly and never cried about it. you never cried. after the first night, you didn’t shed tears unless there was other water for them to blend with.

you hadn’t spoken much about him after that day, besides at his funeral. there was no one who knew peter parker as well as you, and it only felt right for the person he had loved the most to say a few words. and that’s what you did. you said a few words. because, honestly, you could talk about peter parker for hours. you could talk about the way his hands were calloused everywhere except his palms, or how when he laughed his right eye shut more than his left one. you could talk about how he once talked about the flaws of the back to the future trilogy for eighteen minutes and then rebutted his own argument for twenty six minutes. you could talk about how it took him twice as long to fall asleep on his back than it did on his stomach or every difference between his varied tone of voice. you could talk about how he carried the world on his shoulders and still let other people take the credit. but you would not talk about his fall, or his failure. you knew he wasn’t to be spoken about in such a manner, so you uttered as little as you could about his death.

you left his funeral early. after everyone found out he was spiderman, you were getting constantly bombarded with apologizes and praise. peter parker couldn’t even be a regular boy in his own death, and you felt the ceremony was too public.

you couldn’t bare to see him buried, either. part of you, all of you, was still hoping this was a big misunderstanding. that your boy would run to you, wrap you in his arms, pick you up, kiss you, tell you it was okay and that he was there. when you started to understand that he wasn’t coming back, when the shock started to wear off, you changed- your heart filled with more malice than it had before, and every time you touched something you felt that it should break under you. you were angry.

you punched the bag a few more times, throwing your all into in a rhythmic dance before your infuriation started to bubble over again. you hit it with improper form, spontaneously and full of rage. you felt your thumb turn backwards but you pushed farther, letting the sound of the bone cracking mix in with the dull sound of the leather. your vision blurred and you yelled, hitting it more with your fists vertical now, until you were pulled back and wrapped into someone’s arms.

you heaved, looked down, saw the gore from your finger stain their shirt, and pushed them away from you. you didn’t say a word as you panted, let your vexation deflate slightly and stared at the wall past the person.

“kid,” you jerked your neck, your eyes meeting tony’s. you silently, desperately, willed him not to say what you knew he’d say next. “you’ve got to stop, this isn’t good for you.” you swallowed slow, the burning of your throat- the sting of soreness- reminded you that you were alive and peter was not. “he wouldn’t want you to do this.”

and you laughed. at first it was just an exhale, a sarcastic ‘fuck you’ of air, but then it evolved. it turned into a full bodied laugh, your back leaning down in a terrible posture with your arm positioned on your stomach. you stumbled forward, used tony for support, as your chuckling stopped. there had been no sign of a smile on your face. you were eye level with tony, and you kept your hand on him as you looked at him directly.

“don’t tell me what peter would’ve fucking wanted.” your tone was harsh and you pushed yourself away from him- or more him away from you- and your vision glossed over.

“he wouldn’t want this, y/n.” your eye twitched slightly before you closed them both altogether.

“you know what he wanted, tony?” you took a step toward him, “he wanted to impress you.” you pressed your finger into his chest. “he wanted to be good enough for you,” you couldn’t get rid of the scowl on your face. “he was fine as the kid in the fucking pajamas. he was fucking happy.” your voice broke, and you cleared your throat, which seemed to be a common habit now.

“you did this to him. you brought him into stuff he wasn’t fucking ready for.” you knew it was cruel. you knew tony already stomached some of the blame. but you stood tall and clenched your hand into a fist, even your broken thumb, your eyes looking into his, almost challenging him.

“you need to get some sleep,” you scoffed.

“running away from your problems again, stark? how many people have you fucking killed, besides peter?” tony didn’t say anything. he didn’t snap at you, he didn’t apologize, and, more than that, you noticed he didn’t have any hint of emotion on his face.

“it should’ve been you, or at least me.” your breathing was hallow and you turned your torso, your legs still planted and threw a hard punch, wincing at the contact, before turning back to him. “but this stupid fucking team of egoists who think they’re better than every other goddamn person took a fucking child- he was just a child- and made him do their fucking work.” you exhaled through your nose, another quiet laugh spilling from your lips.

“you killed him! all of you did.” after you screamed the first sentence, tears started to pool in your eyes. it was the first time you’d cried in front of someone since you lost peter. you took a step closer and maintained eye contact as you spat on the mat near his feet. “and all of us are going to hell for it.” you walked past him, towards the door, and left past traces of your hands on the punching bag to rot.

“peter idolized you. he lost his life for you, so the least you could do is have a little fucking respect and not act like you know what he would’ve wanted for me.”

bargaining

peter used to joke about how good of a lawyer you’d make when you argued, and the thought consumed you for about six days.

“come on, strange,” you pleaded. his arms were crossed, and he hadn’t even bothered to dignify you with a glance.

“no,” you groaned, your eyes rolling. you were still on edge- still at snapping point, still broken- but you had been focusing your energy into an attempt to bring peter back. you had been surrounded with superheroes and magic all your life so you’d figured there was bound to be someone who could tinker with necromancy.

“i’m just asking you one favor-” stephen stopped moving and turned to look at you. even though his face was blank, he had the evident dr. strange ‘not-in-the-mood-for-your-shit’ aura.

“a favor? you’re asking me to bring someone back from the dead. not only does that go against every one of my teachings as a doctor, but it could also completely obliterate this universe’s timeline.”

“obliterate it? really?” you had disbelief in your eyes which glazed over the hope you were trying to hide.

“yes!” stephen brought his arms to his sides. “peter’s dead.” his tone softened slightly, his sympathy wrapping around your shoulders like a blanket. “i’m sorry.”

you exhaled, shrugging your shoulders, and trying to stop yourself from acknowledging the pressure that formed at your waterline. “no, don’t be. you’re right. he’s just dead.” you gave him a tight lipped smile.

“if you’re not going to help me, i’ll find someone who will.” you hadn’t been able to get any progress on the whole ‘zombie parker operation’. you’d tried everything from lab tests to pleading with some aliens- who tried to kill you shortly after.

you’d never been an overly religious person. you didn’t go to church every week and you didn’t pray before every meal. after seeing all the things you saw, watching people get murdered and assaulted and the people who attack just for the laugh, you got weary with the idea that a god could be real.

at peters funeral, you didn’t show a hint of emotion at the ‘he’s in a better place now’ comments or the ‘god took him to rest with his family’ notion. while it was a nice thought, you felt that peter parker resided in the spot on the street where his soul left him. in your mind, peter lived on through the kisses he’d left on your cheeks and the echo of his laugh through the compound at three am.

after everything, you could only assume god was dead. but, desperate times call for desperate measures.

you’d wound up in peter’s untouched room. your eyes glazed over with a mist and a wet breath fell in sync with a tear. you walked over to his dresser, the rustic wood covered in an array of random shit that peter just couldn’t clean, and looked at the stack of pictures he had of you and him, or just you. your finger traced over the print of his hair; you don’t know how long you held the photo, but when the tears started to slide off of it- form puddles on the lamination-, you placed it back down. you moved to his bed, sat down and inhaled the scent of his pillows.

you looked up at the ceiling peter had definitely tried to do tricks off of. “god?” you cleared your throat. you felt stupid, childish, trying to talk to something you never worshipped before. “hi, uh, it’s me.” your voice was saturated with tears, thick with saliva, but you chose to ignore it. “i know i’ve- i don’t really- i don’t really necessarily do all the things you’re supposed to do when- uh- that you want me to do, i guess.”

you bit your cheek, clenching the cotton of peters pillowcase. “so, if you’re real, i don’t know why you’d do anything for me. i’m not- i’m not really a good person.” you shut your eyes tight, bringing your knees up to your chin. “but peter? peter was good. as good as you, if not better. all he wanted was to help people- he died helping people- he died.” you shook your head, your eyes opening and glancing back at the popcorn material of the roof.

“if you’re real, if you’re hearing this, i beg you. please, bring him back. somehow. please, just keep him safe, he just needs to be safe.” your voice cut off and you didn’t bother to try to bring it back up. you knew it was foolish, that this wasn’t how it worked, but you waited for a voice or for a sign. you don’t know how long you waited, or how long until any hope left your body. you don’t know how long it was until you fell asleep in peters sheets, staining the place you used to lay together with your tears. you don’t remember being covered in a blanket by tony or the looks of pity- empathy- from the other avengers. you don’t know anything else about what happened that night other than the fact that after that you knew peter was gone.

depression

when peter was out patrolling, you often stole his sweaters. the feeling was almost like he was giving you a warm hug, pressing into your skin lightly. after he died, you tried to pretend the little things were him as well.

it only took you about two weeks to go back to school. you knew you had to go back sometime, that just because one life stopped didn’t mean everything else did. people at school looked at you differently now. they gave a softer image to you, bit back every word to make sure it was okay to say. they held your tired eyes in their hands and tried to make sure you didn’t break.

you’d stopped eating, almost completely. unless someone forced you to eat, which sometimes you’d still denied, food was out of the picture for you. overall, your hygiene went down in general. you weren’t doing your homework, showers became less and less frequent and your biggest habit became sleep. so, school was a big step (so was stepping at all).

you sat at your desk next to michelle and ned. peters death hit them both pretty hard, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect as it had on you. all of your class, you’d try not to look over to the empty chair that peter parker used to sit in every day; and when you would look that way, one of them would squeeze your hand. they’d ground you enough so you didn’t float away. but with current circumstances, that was just enough.

flash approached you, clearing his throat and offering you a weak smile.

“hey,” you looked at him, eyes almost permanently stained red, and offered the closest thing you could to a welcoming grin.

“hey.”

“i- uh-” he paused. you could see him bite down on his bottom lip, which was slightly more chapped than peters used to be, watch as he pondered over his next sentence just as everyone else around you did.

“i- i like your sweater. it’s sick.” you didn’t need to look down at the sweater to know what he was talking about. your heart clenched, the fabric that slipped slightly past your finger tips suddenly starting to feel like it was trapping you.

“thanks, it was peter’s.” and there it was, in the open. it was peter’s. the lines of color on the gray sweater were fading and the star wars print had started to chip, but peter still wore it religiously around the compound. “i- i took it from him one day and just never gave it back. didn’t have the time.” the air felt thick. it was hard to swallow, even harder to come back out. you could see the regret on his face, the guilt and the pain.

“he- he was really- i’m- i feel bad. i treated him like shit.” he ran a quick hand through his hair and you nodded.

“you did. don’t worry, pete’s a forgiving soul.” you shrugged, placing a hand under your chin to still your jaw so your teeth wouldn’t chatter.

“he was a good dude.”

“yeah, he was.” you didn’t realize you’d started crying until you felt the warmth on your face. at this point, you hardly recognized when you cried. you felt almost blank, and when you weren’t you just missed him.

“alright, bud, that’s enough.” mj. she protected you, looked out for you, and she was going to end the conversation for you.

flash mumbled an apology, or maybe a condolence, and left back to his seat and you moved to wipe away the tears. mj placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing her thumb lightly to try to calm you.

“he didn’t mean anything by that. it’s just flash, yknow? he can’t tell a mome-”

“do you think i should’ve given him back his sweater?” your eyes were wide and the precipitation from them amplified their shine in an almost sick way.

“what?”

“peter. do you think he was mad i kept his sweaters?” your nerves started to build up and if you’d had the energy to hyperventilate you would’ve, instead your breaths just came out heavy and slow. “i could’ve done so much more, yknow?”

“hey,” she tried to cut you off, bring you out of the spiral you were falling into.

“no, i’m serious. i- i remember when i got this sweater. he’d just swung right out the window- no reason to hide the identity anymore, yknow? everyone knows- anyway, he’d just left and i already missed him so much. i was so fucking overdramatic.” the laugh that bubbled in your throat erupted as a sob and you felt so stupid for doing this in class but you were wearing peters sweatshirt and he wasn’t there to kiss your cheek or play with your hair or call you his pretty girl or anything and he’d never be there again so crying felt like an okay response.

“i always got so scared when he’d leave, that he’d end up dead and alone out there. he wasn’t alone, though. i was there- i was there and i couldn’t save him. i- i’d missed him so much and i loved this kid so fucking much and there was this stupid fucking sweater that smelled like old spice on steroids and i just- oh my god, i miss him so fucking much.” your breathing had quickened now and everyone was looking at you and you were just looking at the empty chair.

“i shouldn’t have taken his clothes. he’d always make jokes, maybe they weren’t jokes, about how pretty soon he’d have nothing to wear and i shouldn’t have taken his fucking stuff, i shouldn’t-” you paced yourself, letting out a single even breath.

“do you think he knew?” mj didn’t say anything. no one said anything. they just watched you. they felt your pain from your body, from the fabric. “think he knew how much i loved him?” you wiped the tears from your face once more. “god, i hope he did.”

“of course he did.” ned spoke up this time. you could hear his heart in his voice; you could hear everyone’s heart in their voice. queens had lost spiderman, midtown had lost peter parker, and you had lost your family. “you made it disgustingly obvious.” you forced out a laugh and turned your attention to ned, who cracked a smile at you. “it’s not your fault.” you looked at him and the guilt you’d placed behind poorly sewn cotton came bursting through the dam and ned knew you meant so much more.

“peter would never have thought it was your fault.”

“i know.”

“he knew what he was doing.”

“i know.”

“and he loved you so much while doing it.” and you did grin. your fingers closed around the end of the sleeves, and you looked down at the thing that most closely resembled the boy you loved.

“i know.” you were tired; everyone could see you were tired. so, when the two asked to take you to the nurses, no one disagreed. your feet were slow as you walked, your eyes barely bothered to stay open anymore, and you felt like you’d lost your personality in the cracks of the road that day. you knew you’d lost your soul there. when you were sitting on the makeshift bed in the health room, waiting for someone to pick you up, you closed your eyes and brought the hem of peter’s sweater up to your face. you breathed in, felt the tears fall again, and this time allowed them. your mouth didn’t move from a straight line and you felt almost a consistency of numbness but you imagined peter there next to you, telling you you were going to be just fine.

“i love you.” and you stayed like that until someone came for you.

acceptance

the one time peter tried to take you on a picnic, he had to go for his spiderman responsibilities. you weren’t mad, you ended up just looking at the city from the balcony when he came back, but you never got around to the task.

it had been 46 days since peter parker died. over a month since he’d said his last word, laughed his last laugh, kissed his last kiss. slowly, with time and so much pain, you were coming back to life.

you missed him every day, sometimes ignoring it was impossible and you’d break down- fall apart at the seems-, but you were getting better at holding yourself together.

you looked in the mirror, flattening your hair with a hand, pressing it down, and nodded a little. you looked at the outfit and huffed out a breath of air. “i think this was it,” you knew it was, you remembered the photos, but you still asked yourself. you informed someone you were leaving, where you were going, and made your way.

it was your first time visiting peters grave since his funeral. seeing the tombstone was almost too much for you.

Here Lies

PETER PARKER

August 10, 2001 - March 4, 2019

Beloved hero, nephew, and friend.

Long live Spiderman.

your breathing cut off as you read, and for a second you felt an anger at the last part, but you knew that was part of him. it was a big part of him, and of course it was going to be recognized. because it was still peter parker and peter parker was spiderman. you placed the basket down and crouched down to touch the stone.

“hey, pete.” you opened the basket and grabbed the flowers you’d had placed at the top, and left the handful of daisies you’d brought at the base of the marble. “i’m sorry it took me so long to come see you,” you could envision him saying it was okay, that he was just glad to see you at all, and you shook your head. you had to stop hiding in figments of him.

“i thought- i thought we could finally have that picnic?” you let out a quiet laugh, your hand tracing the lettering. “i wore the same outfit, brought the same food- made it the way you’d wanted it.” your exhales were choppy as you started to empty the basket and you whimpered slightly as tears started to fall again.

“i miss you so much, peter.” your eyes were closed, tears moving from your face to your neck, but a small smile tugged at your features. “i say that so often. i hope wherever you are, you’re happy now.” you moved and opened a cart of strawberries, grabbing one. “everyone at school misses you. everyone does.” you took a bite from the strawberry, swallowing it quickly as you remembered something.

“oh!” you wiped your mouth, rubbing the juice from the strawberry on your leg. “there’s a day for you now? like a remember spiderman day thing. there was a vigil, too, it was supposed to be really beautiful. i didn’t go- i couldn’t go.” even though he wasn’t there, even though you felt yourself breaking all over again, talking to him through dirt and stone made you feel the most natural and at home you’d felt since his death.

“saw flash weeping over you, man.” you finished that strawberry and let out a little laugh. “we all love you, parker. i’ve been checking up on may. so has happy, if ya know what i mean.” you laughed again. “sorry,” you played with your fingers, a nervous habit you’d had most of your teenage career.

“i hope we meet again, peter. i know we will.” and as you looked at this stone and all the other stones around, all the memories came back so strong. every moment you’d ever had with peter. you remembered the way he breathed late at night, every time he’d tripped while looking at you, all the stupid fights you’d had, and the dumb ways he’d apologized. every utterly domestic thing about peter came back and it was too little for him. it wasn’t enough to be his whole life. “i think you and me could’ve been forever.” you nodded, chewing the inside of your bottom lip. “in a way, i think we will be.”

you kept a hand on the stone. “you were worth the whole fucking world, peter.” you kissed the rock, which may have been gross but you didn’t really care at the moment. “i’ll think about you, always. i do think about you always.” you remembered how soft his face was under your hand or the way when you were sad he would hug you so tight and so strong. “you’ll always be my favorite boy.” how he looked at you like you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen every moment he saw you. “you’ll always be my favorite hero.” the way he gripped onto your hand when you were never. “i can’t wait to see you again.” you hoped that your tears wouldn’t have any help in the process of eroding the gravestone, but you knew tony would have it fixed if it had so much as a dent.

“i promise i’ll come by more often.” you meant it. you’d continue to come by, visits never getting less frequent. going there was your way of still being connected with him. you went at least once a week, always with a recap and thoughts of him. when you got older, you realized life was moving and you had to move with it. you’d still come by when you could, but visits seemed to hold to maybe once every month or every few months. but, you always thought of peter parker, at graduation, on your wedding day, when raising your children. you saw peter parker’s face in the beauty of the world and heard his laugh in music. and you thought of peter when your time finally came, when you were finally reunited with the boy you kept in your heart all your life.

but, in that moment, you just looked at the daisies and the food. “but, enough about that. let’s finally have this picnic, pretty boy.”

[flowersfrombefore]

Flowers and Pianos:Part 2  (Greta Stirling X Roger Taylor) (OC)

AN: today on ‘I am the worst’ I’m so sorry you guys ended up waiting so long for such a short chapter but my writers block has been killing me. I think it’s gone now so I should be getting stuff out faster. Anyway, this chapter is kinda a middle ground thing. Not really story line until the end, more relationship building (they’re cute and I’d die for them) 

Editing isn’t real in this chapter because I got pissed off don’t @ me about spelling mistakes or I’ll fight. 

Part one

Word count: 1430 (I’m sorry I know it’s short ) 

Enjoy babes.

Warmth hung in the air of the bedroom though outside the wind would send a chill through bone. Light from the sun still soaked the ground and the trees but it was a cold light, an empty promise of warmth.

Rays of light began to seep through the sheer curtains, casting ridges of shadow and white light across the floor and across the two bodies intertwined together in the sheets. Sleep had hardly settled over them when the sun had found its way through the curtains and onto their bare skin. Words had passed effortlessly between them until the darkness gave way to the soft gray that morning tended to bring.

Greta stirred only a short time after she’d drifted off in the comfortable heat and exhaustion, mixed with intoxication that her body was swimming in. Her eyes fluttered open lazily, only partially sure of where she was. The muffled pounding in her head was enough to tell her that no matter how long she’d been awake the night before her hangover had still caught her. She attempted to ignore it the best she could, looking out through the small break in the curtains on the window to the trees and the patch of flowers only just visible.

One thing she was aware of completely was the body pressed against her in the sheets, the lips still brushing against the back of her neck and the feeling that his arms were safe and warm and a place she never wanted to part from. She closed her eyes and let the warmth of his touch wash over her as she tried to recall exactly what had happened. She knew generally what she’d done, what they’d done, though a little blurry on why it had happened in the first place. She searched her mind for a sense of regret and came up empty, and came to the conclusion that this was something she was okay with.

A whisper of his name crossed her lips, only to see if he was awake as well. It was met with no response.

She needed to look at him.

She didn’t know why.

She supposed there was a need to know it had happened, even though a glance at her chest and the blossoming bruises was enough to tell anyone it definitely had. Less a need to know it happened than, more a need to know they were who she thought. When nothing feels real it’s all you can do to make sure your bad decisions were worth something and that they were real.

They were almost too close together for Greta to move without waking him, but it didn’t matter. She just wanted to look at him. They could fall back asleep just as easily if her head lay on his chest.

Shifting her position was easier than she expected even with his arm lazily draped over the outline of her ribs. With a slow movement she was able to turn herself without much disturbing of the sheets and was met with a mess of blond hair obscuring the face she wanted to see so dearly.

For only a moment her heart stopped in her chest.

Sarah.

Now without the dimness and the blurry vision of last night it hit her how similar the two could be. With a shaky hand she brushed the hair away and exposed Rogers face. Strips of light illuminated lines across his face leaving the rest in a shadow. Where it fell on his hair it gave off a glow that was almost unnatural. Greta remembered the thought that had crossed her mind the night before about him giving off the appearance of an angel.

“I was right.” She whispered to herself at the thought, not being able to stop herself from dragging her fingers lightly over his cheek. At her touch Roger stirred, his breathing changing from its previously steady sound.

As Roger slowly started to wake Greta closed the gap between them and brushed her lips against his. His eyes shot open in surprise and he pulled away, but only for a moment. The shock on his face softened in an instant.

“You’re still here.” It was a statement that could have been mistaken as a question.

“So are you.”

The words that passed between them would have meant nothing to anyone outside of the events but it was almost a realization on both sides. It’s all that was said for a time. Nothing else needed to be said after Roger had enveloped her in his arms and kissed her like his life depended on it. His hands found their way into the the sea of red that was Greta’s hair as he pulled her on top of him.

Twenty minutes later they broke apart, breathless and a little overwhelmed. Roger’s back was pressed against the headboard with Greta in his lap. The sheets had fallen from them leaving them colder than before. Roger trailed his hands up and down the sides of Greta’s body, tracing over the outline of her hips and her a-little-too-prominent ribs. The touch sent a shiver through her spine, it was like ice had been injected into her and froze her where she was, except to tighten her fingers in Rogers thick hair.

It was almost innocent.

“Stay with me.” Roger spoke up finally. The words fell from his lips like a plea.

“What do you mean?”

“I-I know that it’s not typical of me, and I know it would be hard with both of us touring and-” He was babbling, Greta thought it was sweet. She brought one finger to rest of on his lips to quiet him. She didn’t need to say it for him to understand. It was an unspoken request for the blunt truth. She lifted her finger away when she was sure he understood.

“I don’t want you to just leave after this. I want to be with you.” He looked away from her, resting his gaze on the window. “I’m sorry, ignore what I said I’m sure it’s just me.”

Greta tore her eyes from him and shifted her eyes to the window as well, she could see the flowers outside clearer now, and she smiled to herself remembering part of a conversation her and Roger had had the night before.

“I have two conditions.” As she said it she turned him to face her with a hand on his neck. She held up two fingers and dragged them down gently over his eyelids making them close. She lifted them away but Roger kept his eyes closed until she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“One.” She poked a small bruise on his collar bone with one finger. “I get to call you Flower.” She giggled in spite of herself, as she was trying to sound even a little serious. Roger grinned, he’d found that her laugh was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever heard.

“Why is that going to be my nickname? We can’t compromise the tiny amount of masculinity I have with that.”

“Yeah we can, seeing that we spent an hour last night ranting about flowers. Just cause you were drunk doesn’t mean I’ll let that go.”

“Okay, okay it’s acceptable. I’ll just pretend I don’t like it to keep up some kind of image.” He let his head fall into Greta’s shoulder as the giggles he had been trying to hide died down. “What’s the second?”

Greta moved herself off of Roger before she spoke. She interlaced their finger and brought herself to sit beside him. She tapped two fingers this time on his knuckles.

“No one else. That’s my condition.” She turned to look at him, finding his eyes had been lingering on her since she had moved. “If I stay you’re mine.” She pressed a small kiss to his shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. “And I’m yours.”

“No one else.” He didn’t need to say anything else, Greta knew it was an agreement.

It didn’t cross either of their minds until later, when they had parted to find their bands, that staying together was going to be almost impossible. The promise had in no way been empty on either side, but the quiet oblivion of that bedroom had erased the serious obstacles.

There was no way.

They’d live knowing they’d made that promise, knowing they wanted the other, and they’d never be able to live up to it.

Or it seemed to them for weeks, until what seemed like an empty promise was filled by luck and coincidence.

Tag List: @blushy-monkey @crazyweirdocalledfriday @dreamer7black @greywind2 @clara-who @secretsweetscollectionblog @rogers-wristbands @bitemerog @thebohemianpenguin  @anuknowha @goodoldfashionlovergirl

(sorry if i forgot to tag, there’s a few people I forgot to write down.)

As always my rule to be on the tag list is that you leave some kind of feedback, i dont care what it is just something.

[lim-lifeinmotion]

A story about a boy just a little bit broken

I would like to tell you a story About a boy that is broken Not by much Only just a little bit if at all You see this boy was a happy child He did normal happy child things He’d play and sing and dance Even if not very good but oh how this boy liked to play In the mud, mud pies, mud soup He liked the mud he did Stuck in the mud, mud scrub, mud bath mud, mud, mud, mud, mud He was an odd little child, Liked playing with barbie dolls, ken dolls He had no preference really And eating snails He enjoyed spending time with his friends Although mum made this difficult sometimes You see mum didnt always agree with the other mums Im sorry you cannot see them anymore But that is okay because he had plenty of other friends to play with But none were like them He felt sad and lonely Where are all my friends? This boy also loved to fish! What a thing it was Spending time with dad who he never really saw One weekend away this little boy had a new friend Of who’m he’d like to play! A new friend he thought  “I’m so happy” Mummy and daddy should we play? Allright said the little boy He knew nothing better Down his pants went I dont understand why? Touches his pee pee Nobody can touch that? But a new friend is a new friend “This is our little secret”? Okay So everynow and then They’d play mummy and daddy She was a lot older  He was only 3 he didn’t know any better He did not want her to touch his pee pee Or lick his private parts But a new friend is a new friend Will everyone be angry? So as the years went by mummy and daddy wouldn’t stop fighting To count the days when they were happy? He was young but even he could count as high as 10? It’s all your fault we fight they said Time and time again If it weren’t for you kinds we wouldn’t have these problems “I don’t want to be the problem”? How do I not be the problem? Be a better boy, listen a little more, Maybe if i stay home I can show mummy I‘m a good boy I dont want you to go away This little boy found a new friend!  Hip hip horaay He was so happy and excited A reason to wake up every day But this boy could never stay over Not for a whole night What if mummy was gone when I get home? Please take me home, I want to go home now. Once more mummy disagrees with the other mummy, I am sorry you cannot see them any more I’m sorry I’m not supposed to talk to you I have to listen to what mummy says Now they wont stop fighting, And we’re moving in with my aunty I liked her dog and her pool and her piano A few years we were happy, no more yelling at last But as this boy got older He saw his sister being yelled at Please stop fighting I don’t like to see you all cry When she was 15 she had had enough He didn’t want her to go but knew mummy would be happier if she did So she did We were happy again Daddy came home but the fighting continued Only with my other sister now It wasn’t long before she moved out  A few years into highschool You see everyone in this family Was in the top of their clases They were not dumb or stupid They weere in fact extremely smart Nerissa was good at english,

 drawing, she was also a very nice singer Tyla was good at netball and maths, she was so popular and so was nissy Ryan was good at maths and art and really enjoyed running and sports, He wasn’t the storngest but he could run and never look back But now everyone had moved out And I was again all alone The boy had no friends Although everypne knew who he was At school he’d walk and chat Bounce between groups making them smile and laugh You’re so funny ryan So many friends now! But on the weekends it was playstation and games Nobody wanted to hang out with him  Out of uniform he really didnt belong And the yelling started again His entire life he did not think it would ever be him? But im such a good boy mummy I try my best every day Until one day It was time to leave You see out of nowhere he met a boy A boy he fell in love with Someone that liked him, thought was funny and kind It’s all he’d ever wanted The boys became close They shared their first kiss Their first everything What a time to be young, to be alive He would get bullied  By the younger students Because the older ones knew his sisters Everybody loved them But they no longer went to school They both left way too young They were so smart and so popular I dont understand why? But this boy didn’t care The silly words people would say He was happy and in love He finally had a friend He started living with this boy, His family were like his own No fighting no yelling A safe and peaceful home for two years they lived together until they grew apart When you’re young you are curious There is so much to live for to see and to do He began to see the darkness again His home was gone again He had no friends The words now had power He tried but he let them in Fag they would say Push and shove him they would do In class he cried At home he died He began to wonder about death How beautiful it would be So he took the knife and made his first cut An addicion he would soon regret At first they were small On the wrist because thats were people did it right? But too many eyes saw  You cannot wear an armband all year So he took the knife and took to his thigh So much more flesh to cut I can go deeper and harder now than before This boy truly wanted to die Bloody sheets  Vodka bottles He stopped going to classes But did all his work He didnt want to be a drop out But he didnt want to go to school So in a bottle of chi he’d mix A bottle before, during and after school Nobody suspected a thing, He never wore uniform anyways He was never rude or inpolite The opposite in fact He had to be a good boy He had a job which he quit Becausee he drank and cut and cried Nothing could stop it A part of him had died So he decided he needed money Skipped a few weeks rent Was told they needed to talk So up he went and left He didnt mean to hurt them He didnt want to be a burden They found the bottles and the bloodied mess He didn’t want to make them angry So back he went “home” To the yelling and screaming The rules oh the rules Do not exist From here things fall apart and there is no more rhymes That little happy child, he was dead now, he died a long time ago and all that was left was darkness, sadness, an anti depressant shell He spent his days drinking and taking drugs and cutting himself. Nothing made sense, the only clear thing in his existance was the fact that he no longer wanted to be in this world and he made it clear that he was just waiting to die. I missed a lot out of this story, a lot of good things happened, he was so loved but honestly those memories are all but faded and bleak lost somewhere in the dpeth of the lonliness he had felt his entire lfe, the sadness, the emptiness that filled him. He was annorexic and coudln’t eat, he saw his weight go from 64 down to 48 where it would stay for some time. He met a lot of amazing guys but none felt right, none gave him that feeling that young cute boy did and no matter how hard he tried all he ended up leaving was a wake of destruction and hurt wherever he went. I could count 10 different people he ended up destroying, 2 earned the label. He never intended to hurt them, he really tried, he just wanted to feel loved, to feel something, anything at all. But never could. He sold his body for sex at the age of 17, he needed money to continue drinking and living because partying to forget was all he knew. What a messed up life this poor child had, no wonder he’s a god damn mess until the other day he knew anything bad that could have happened had happened to him, the other day when he remembered he was molested. He’s been raped by his best friend, molested when he was a child, sold for sex, beaten, thrown to the ground, abandoned on the side of the road by his parents. literally kicked out of the car at 3 or 4 years old and I just remember him standing behind the car screaming and crying, begging to let him back in. He been cheated on, drugged, ruphied, overdosed and died. He’s tried to kill himself on more occasions than I can count of both hands and both feet. He’s put himself in hospital but never once has he intentionally tried to hurt someone, Never has he ever laid another finger on another human being that he hasn’t blacked out and done in a fit of rage, childhood trauma is funny like that. I am not a bad person and I know this to be true but I feel like there is little more that life could throw at me, little more that I can have done to me because I have seen it all, been through it all and I am so angry at the world for this. For so long I see eyes that reflect the soul, I know how to play this game, I managed to trick myself into believing I was happy in order to stop myself from killing myself, you can sure as hell bet I will trick you too. When you look into my eyes and you see that pure innocent smile, that cheeky grin, the light sparking as it fills you with that infections glow. Sure some of the time it is genuine but for the most part I am just so sad and there is no way I want to put that onto anybody else, ssssssssso I will fool you into believing I am happy and so damn peaceful but my actions reflect someone so broken, so detroyed, someone that has next to no love or respect for themselves because how can I? After everything? Im working so fucking hard to make this work, to re learn the things I had stripped away from me, pice by piece, like tiny cracks forming on the glass I was constantly trying to fix and mend but like so many cracks I couldn’t keep up with the speed at which they were forming and shaterring. I became so very good at fixing them but now I am left with a broken soul, A shattered mind, a scarred body, left trying to yet again mend the pieces but she is so very tired, a life without a brake and I am ready to put the brakes on before I break because breaking is all I know how to do, breaking is what I do best but I just need a brake because it will break me otherwise. I know I am such a powerful person, I am so god damn resiliant yet still so fucking loving regardless of all this shit. I wonder sometimes how the fuck I am still here, kicking, working, moving forward trying to make a better life for myself, because with all this on a page and missing quite a lot, that is too much for one 24 years of “life”, That is too much for anyone to endure. I havent even mentioned my sisters life, how they both tried to kill themselves, “Home” was that bad that they would rather have died than exist. My youngest sisters boyfriend killed himself when she was 16 or so, she wanted to follow, had a note and the noose all ready. How much shit can life throw at somebody before it really is just starting to take the piss, I feel my life is just one big fucking joke because no way can this be real, no way can this be the reason I was put on this earth for. If there was a god why would he look at a 3 year old and smile telling him he was going to be sexually assaulted time and time again, beaten and abused for the rest of his 25 years in the world. How fucking dare you. How fucking dare you. This may seem like I am asking for pity but that I do not want, I don’t need your sympathy because it makes no god damn difference o me, It doesnt change the chemicals in my brain, it doesn’t give me a reason to get up in the morning or give me comfort in bed at night. I want you to know how fucking cruel this life has been and why I am so god damn fuking messed up in the deepest and darkest way possible. “Why” is the big question of endless possibilities but this is one of those reasons, one of the many possibilies, the endless ways my life could have gone and destiny looked at me and chose this path for me. Fuck you, Just fuck you and your bullshit lenses about flowers and fairies, I grew up with the monsters under my bed, the headless horseman was my ride through hell and back, Samara was my pen pall and nobody was there for me in the end to protect me, I can’t even protect me, I can’t say no to people so I just close my eyes, pretend to be enjoying it and let it happen. Fuck you Unedited rant because fuck reading this to edit its way too fucking much

[sending-the-message]

The Red Door by CynicHappy

"Never open the red door."

I wish I could tell you the exact number of times I heard those words throughout my childhood, but math has never been my strong point, and I don't think I can count that high. It was usually my grandfather who spoke them. Sometimes my mother or father, but usually Grandpa. He was a stern Greek-Canadian man, tall and heavyset with shiny black hair and stern features. He had many rules to keep the household in check, but the one concerning the red door was by far the most important.

"Never open the red door! Don't ever open the red door. You will regret it." The intensity in his eyes as he laid down the law never failed to frighten my sisters and I. We never dreamed of disobeying him.

My family was wealthy, and lived in a towering brick manor with too many rooms. Most of the doors leading into these rooms were white; the red door was the only one of its kind. It was on the second floor, located right between the bedrooms occupied by me and my sister Callie, respectively. It remained locked at all times; Grandpa kept the key, and twice a day, he would enter the room, and after thirty minutes or so, emerge, looking pale and shaken, and brushing off anyone's enquiries about his health.

Every now and then, my sisters and I gathered up the nerve to stand outside the red door and listen while Grandpa was in there. All we ever heard were his heavy footsteps, and muttering in Greek. Whenever he caught us lurking, he would pin us with a look that made our blood run cold.

"Stay away from the red door!" he would bark, before stalking down the hall. He would disappear into his study, shutting the door behind him.

This behaviour frightened me, of course, but as I grew up, the my curiosity intensified. I simply couldn't stop fantasizing about what might be hidden behind the red door. Silver and gold. Rare gemstones. A unicorn. More candy than one girl could ever eat. Maybe the door even led to another world, like in the Narnia books. Since I couldn't question Grandpa about it without risking his wrath, however, I turned to my parents for answers.

They couldn't tell me anything either. Mum, Grandpa's only daughter, told me the red door had been off-limits since she was my age, and that her father never offered her an explanation either. Dad told me I should just let it drop. I could have screamed. I wanted to know what was behind the red door. It was an intense thirst, a desperation that felt like a raging storm in my head. There were times when I couldn't sleep at night, my mind was whirling so violently with possibilities. I knew my sisters-Callie, Gabriella, and Marguerite-were curious as well, but they did a better job containing it.

"Grandpa probably has a good reason for keeping the door locked," said Callie. "Maybe it's best we just stay away."

"No way!" I shrieked. "One day, I am going to see what's behind the red door! I don't care what Grandpa says."

I was a child, naïve and stupid. I never considered the danger, never took into account how drained Grandpa looked whenever he walked out of that room, never cared about anything but my own curiosity. I had made a vow that one day, I would see behind the red door, and I didn't intend to break it.

It wasn't until I was about eight or nine that I got a little taste of the fear Grandpa felt.

Late at night-around 11:00 PM, if I remember correctly-I woke up to sounds that made my breath catch in my chest. Loud banging that shook the walls and made me worry that the roof would cave in; shrill wailing that felt like shards of glass piercing my eardrums. Crying for Mum, I stumbled into the hall-and found my family gathered around the red door.

"Father!" Mum yelled, clutching a crying Gabriella and Marguerite to her sides. "What the hell is going on in there?" That was the first time I ever heard her swear.

Grandpa, standing tall admits the chaos, looked like he was going to keel over. His face was whiter than bleached bedsheets, his hands clenched into fists so tight it would have taken a crowbar to pry them apart. He didn't answer Mum, just slid a hand into his pocket and retrieved the key. He unlocked the red door and stepped inside.

As I had so many times before, I tried to peer around him and get a glimpse inside, but Dad grabbed me and pulled me back.

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" I wailed, more out of habit than anything else. To tell the truth, I was terrified, especially as the sounds grew louder, mixed with Grandpa's angry shouts.

"Silence, Rebecca," Dad whispered, clamping a rough, calloused hand over my mouth.

We stood there in the darkened hall, listening for what felt like hours, until the terrible noises suddenly stopped, as if sucked into a vacuum cleaner. My ears were ringing, and I was trembling like a tuning fork. Grandpa stepped out minutes later, slamming the red door behind him and locking it.

"I dont ever want to hear you girls speak about this," he hissed at me and my sisters. "Do you understand?"

We nodded. He stalked off, his head and shoulders bowed as if pulled down by a string. Mum and Dad sent us girls back to bed, but nobody got much sleep that night.

For a while after that, my curiosity was quelled, replaced by fear. I gave the red door a wide berth whenever I walked down that hall, and would hide in my room whenever Grandpa went in, instead of standing outside and listening. My sisters were terrified as well, but while my fear eventually subsided, theirs didn't.

"What the hell are you doing?" Callie snapped at me when she caught me outside the red door again. It had been four months since that terrifying night, and I was still scared, but my intense curiosity had returned.

"I want to know what's behind the red door!" I protested. Callie's anger frightened me; she was one of the calmest people I'd ever known, and rarely raised her voice.

"You're insane," she hissed. "Whatever's behind that fucking door, it's going to kill somebody. If you ever go in there, you'll never come out."

"But Grandpa goes in there!"

"He's the only one of us who can survive in there!"

I stared up at my sixteen-year-old sister in shock, wondering how she knew all this. Looking back, I realize that, being older, she simply had a better perspective on the situation. Callie was nothing if not intelligent.

Just like that, the anger seemed to drain out of her, and she wrapped me up in a hug. "Rebecca, I'm sorry. I just... I don't want you to get hurt."

I nodded against her chest, but deep down, I knew I wanted to see what was inside the room with the red door.

Many years later, I finally got my wish.

Grandpa died when I was eighteen. He simply went to sleep one night and never woke up. He had kept us away from the red door and maintained his habit of going in there twice a day until the very end, even as his health took a slow trajectory downward. He left behind the key, which I snuck out of his bedroom on the day my parents went to pick out a coffin.

By then, my sisters had all moved out; Marguerite and Gabriella were away at college, and Callie was married, with a baby on the way. None of them had expressed a desire to see what was behind the red door in a long time. But I had never forgotten my vow.

The rusted silver key felt cold and heavy in my hand as I stood before the red door, eyeing the peeling paint and worn brass knob. In the back of my mind, I could hear Grandpa chanting "Don't open the red door. Don't open the red door" over and over again; I felt sick with guilt, knowing I was disobeying him. But I couldn't turn back. Not when I finally had the key.

Holding my breath, I slipped it into the lock and turned. There was a harsh click, and the red door creaked open.

After years of anticipation, I stepped inside.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found. Memories of all the wonderful things I'd imagined ran through my brain as I stared ahead in disbelief. I was standing at the mouth of a cave. A fucking cave. Jagged with rock, dark and gaping like a giant mouth.

"What the fuck?" I spluttered, and was answered by the red door swinging shut. I didn't even look back; I was too stunned. Slipping the key into the pocket of my jeans, I took a step forward.

The air inside the cave was hot and muggy, and I immediately began to sweat. I was still in shock as I moved deeper inside, using the flashlight on my phone as a guide. The cave floor was caked with dirt, the walls etched with deep scratches. All I could hear were my footsteps-and my own heavy breathing.

I was dreaming. I had to be. This couldn't be happening. No way. So I kept going. My logic was that if this was a dream, then no real harm could come to me.

Sweat trickled down my back in tiny rivers. It really was hot, and I kept reaching up to wipe the moisture off my forehead. I had been walking for a long time, and my legs were sore. I spotted a flat rock and sat down to rest.

My head was still spinning with confusion. I still believed I was dreaming, but this was by far the weirdest dream I'd ever had. It made no sense to me, how the red door could lead to a freaking cave, of all things. Was I underground? That made no sense, considering the room was on the second floor. Nothing about this made sense.

I contemplated turning back, to lock the red door behind me and forget about all this. But my curiosity still wasn't satisfied. I wanted to at least make it to the end of this tunnel, to understand the truth about this place and what my Grandpa had seen in here. I wanted to unlock the mystery of my childhood.

I wanted to know why Grandpa had been so adamant no one ever come in here.

As I stood, ready to continue, I cast my light across the cave floor, and spotted something that made me do a double take. Footprints. Not those of a human, however. Cloven hooves. Like those of a goat. Or a sheep. Or a demon.

You would think that I would have gotten the hell out of there after seeing that. But I still believed this was a dream, and couldn't comprehend that I was in any danger. So instead, I followed the footprints.

It had been slowly growing hotter the deeper I went, and by now, I was soaked with sweat. My clothes clung damply to my skin. Uncomfortable, I peeled off my T-shirt and continued on in nothing but my bra. The footprints eventually faded away, but I kept going in their general direction, convinced this was the right way-wherever I was going.

So dazed was I that I didn't notice the object in my path until I tripped over it.

I landed on my knees, hard, and cursed, before turning around so I could see what had been in my path. Something smooth and round, something that may have once been white, but had grown yellowed with age. I reached out to pick it up, and let out a thin shriek.

A skull. A human skull with a big crack in the front, most of the teeth missing. The empty eye sockets stared up at me, hollow and lifeless.

"Oh, my God," I muttered, letting the skull slip from my shaking fingers. "Holy fucking shit."

That snapped me back to reality. I had to get out of here. I didn't care about what might be awaiting me at the end of the tunnel-in fact, I didn't want to see it. I scrambled to my feet and whipped around, only to freeze when I saw I wasn't alone.

There was another person crouched just a few feet away. I use the term "person" loosely, because it hardly looked human. It was so wizened and bony, its pale skin hanging off the sharp bones like an oversized suit. Ragged, stringy strands of brown hair hid its face; it crouched on all fours, glaring up at me with beady dark eyes.

I don't remember screaming, but I must have, because the creature lurched back and let out a startled hiss, showing off jagged yellow teeth.

I began to run in the opposite direction, as fast as I could. Thankfully, the creature didn't give chase. But I began to hear sounds: piercing shrieks, angry growls, and the crackling of flames. I considered turning back and taking my chances with the emaciated horror behind me, but before that could happen, I saw that I was heading for the edge of a cliff, and skidded to a stop.

Falling to my knees once more, I let out a harsh, dry sob, releasing the tension that had been building inside me since I first opened the red door. The terrible noises filled my ears, louder than ever before, and I forced myself to peer over the edge.

The drop wasn't too far-only about twenty feet. Below me was a scene I can only describe as a glimpse into Hell. Perhaps it really was Hell.

At the centre of it all sat a giant goat's skull-about the size of a city bus. Sharp, curving horns the size of trees protruded from the top. There was no skin or hair attached-nothing but bare bone. The only thing alive about it was the eyeball in the right eye socket; a giant yellow eyeball with a square pupil. This horrible eye kept rolling around, staring in all directions, and every minute or so, the colossal jaws would creak open with an ear-splitting screech and release a cloud of black smoke.

Dancing around the skull were what I can only describe as demons. Some were vaguely human in shape, but with skin rotting off their bones and mouths full of needle-like teeth. There were bipedal goats with gnarled horns; monstrosities with scaly skin and spiky tails; skeletons with flames in their eyes, shrieking with laughter.

I began to cry. I was just so terrified. I wanted to run, but I couldn't move. I was quite literally frozen in fear.

Then I felt a presence. A shadow fell over me, and an angry voice boomed out.

I told you never to open the red door!

I looked up and saw Grandpa standing over me. Or, what had once been Grandpa. His skin had gone a horrible, blotchy shade of purplish-red; his eyes were fogged over with cataracts; his hair was torn out in chunks, revealing a scalp covered in crusty sores and pus-filled blisters.

"Grandpa!" I gasped.

Get out! Get out now! he screamed.

I saw the goat skull's giant eye focus on me, and the pupil contracted to the size of a pinpoint. It let out a screech that rattled my bones, that sent me stumbling back, crying hysterically.

Get out! Grandpa bellowed, waving his hands wildly. Get out now!

Somehow, I got my legs to cooperate. I stood back up and ran faster than I ever had in my life. The howls and shrieks of demons followed me down the tunnel, ringing in my ears even as the red door finally came back into view.

I slammed the red door behind me as hard as I could, locking it with the key that, thankfully, hadn't fallen out of my pocket. Then I slumped to the floor, vomited up the contents of my stomach, and curled into the fetal position, crying and trembling.

Something slammed against the door, with such impact that I went skidding forward a few feet. I sat up and watched, heart in my throat, as whatever it was threw its bulk against the red door, two more times, before giving up. Something retreated back down the tunnel, moving on all fours.

I sniffled, wiping my nose on my arm. I could still smell smoke, however faint, as it wafted through the large crack that had formed in the red door.

My parents and sisters never learned of my expedition past the red door, but I knew they suspected it anyway. How could they not, given my jumpy demeanour for the next several weeks and the heavy-duty padlock I bought?

After finishing college, I moved out of that house, married, and started a family of my own. My parents still live there, and it is now Dad who keeps the key. It is him who enters that terrible place two times a day. I don't know what he does in there, but it keeps the demons at bay.

What haunts me most about that day is seeing Grandpa in there, seeing how he looked, surrounded by those monsters. I know he's still there, and it terrifies me. My greatest fear is that Dad will end up there too. It seems whoever guards the red door is destined to be trapped behind it after death.

I often visit my childhood home with the kids; my parents adore their grandchildren. Being curious, as children often are, they have asked me many times about the red door.

I tell them what Grandpa always told me: "Never open the red door."

I only hope that they will be more sensible than I was.

I hope that they will listen.

[pitiflame-archived]

✍️Jaina

Send me ✍️plus a character’s name and I’ll write a drabble between that character and mine.

Continuation of this in which Rommath dies during the purge of Dalaran. under the cut for length. Tw for violence, blood, a very suffering magister, and all that.

Rommath had an idea of what the situation in Dalaran would be like. By the reports sent to himself, Lor'themar, and Halduron, he knew just what they were getting into. The Grand Magister had been infuriated about Sunreaver’s capture and taken to some dark recesses of the Violet Hold. His anger only grew at the knowledge anybody remotely Sin'dorei were being slaughtered.

However, seeing it for himself had proved to be am entirely difficult situation to stomach. He had seen his own fair share of battles but this was a new experience entirely. Searching for Aethas within the Hold’s darkest corners, finding him bruised and bloodied but thankfully alive, and dragging him to the sewers to rendezvous with the other magi he had brought to assist him.

It was an experience he hoped he’d never have to endure again. The look of utter betrayal and hurt, mixed with pain from the wounds he bore, on Aethas’s face as Rommath had released him from the chains that bound him in that cell. Enchanted chains that had hindered all of the archmages power, leaving him completely at the mercy of the ones that relentlessly tortured him for the charge of assisting with their mad warchiefs command of stealing the Divine Bell from Darnassus despite Sunreaver not having a direct hand in what Garrosh chose to do himself.

As he was freed, Aethas had sobbed and clung to Rommath like his life depended on it. Perhaps, in a way, it did. This was one of the very rare moments the Grand Magisters cold facade had broken, looking down to the other elf in sadness and held him as he weeped. It only lasted a moment, however, as time was of the essence. They had no time to hesitate and Rommath had pulled Sunreaver to his feet and teleported them to the sewers. Once there, the other magi had been all over them, checking them for wounds and Aethas being hounded by the healers they could spare.

“Rommath..” Aethas’s feeble voice rang out.

The Grand Magister turned to him, fixing him with a pointed look. “Whatever you’re going to say, dont. I’m going to go finish this damned mess.” He spoke.

Aethas’s eyes flashed for a moment. “What are you going to do?”

Rommath didn’t reply, simply tightened his grip on his staff and started for the entrance of the sewers.

Aethas sputtered behind him as he watched the Grand Magister leave to his certain doom. “Wha- Wait! No! Rommath! Jaina-”

“- has gone too far. I’m putting that bitch down before more innocent blood fills these streets.” Rommath interrupted. He had made up his mind with how he planned to end this and no amount of trying to.convince him otherwise would make him change his mind. It was for the greater good, this way. Azeroth would lose two skilled mages this day.

“She’ll kill you!”

Rommath gave a hmph. “More than likely. But I’ll make sure to repay the price.”

Aethas had begun to get angry at Rommaths apparent resignation of his fate. “You can’t just leave everyone behind like this! If something happens to you, Silvermoon won’t recover easily from this… Please. There’s a better way to stop her. We can think of something that doesn’t involve this.”

He let out a low sigh before turning away, continuing towards the entrance. He said nothing, letting Aethas’s angry screaming of his name be the last thing he hears as he steps out into the streets of Dalaran. It was for Silvermoon he was doing this. Silvermoon and Eryis. Both held strong places in his heart. By ending Proudmoore’s terror here, she would no longer be a threat. Azeroth would be safer, an atrocity like this less likely to happen again. He hoped. By extent, that also included the safety of his people and lover.

As he stealthily made his way to the once familiar paved streets of the floating city, it hadn’t been too difficult to find the human mage. The screams and sounds of people trying to escape had made his search tremendously easier. Rommath had rounded a corner and saw the blonde headed human making her own way down the road. He visibly cringed as a fireball had engulfed some poor elf in flames. They had writhed and screamed in agony before falling to the ground.

The hatred he felt increased as he saw Vereesa Windrunner was nearby to Jaina. His eyes narrowed at the ranger who’s arrow had pierced another civilians in a clean headshot. To this day he never understood how she could kill her own people without regret. Quel’dorei or not, she was still an elf among them.

“PROUDMOORE.” Rommath called out. As he did so, he felt his body light up as magic coursed through his entire being. A shield of fire surrounded him as molten armor was cast and he stalked towards the human who now seemed to wait for his approach calmly. Vereesa had noticed him as well and hitched an arrow into her bow, ready to strike before Jaina had given her the command to stand down, that she would deal with this on her own.

“Ah, Grand Magister, what a surprise. I thought i sensed the presence of an incompetent fool.” She said said in a sweet tone.

He did not reply at her insult, not so much as a twitch to acknowledge it. Raising his hands to her, a blast of fire spiraled outwards from his outstretched palm straight for her. Jaina had easily dodged the fireball and it had collided with the side of a building, erupting into a blaze of flames and smoke.

“As quick tempered as ever, I see.” Jaina said, her own barrier of ice surrounding her. She flung her own fireball at him and Rommath had to duck to avoid it. Fire met fire repeatedly as the two mages battled. Most of them either exploded upon contact with the others spells or were dodged quick enough where they didn’t directly hit. Both had managed a few good hits on the other.

The worst injuries had been Rommaths chest, where Jaina had sliced him with an ice lance. Cloth and skin had torn away along with the frost, his robes quickly being stained a deep red as blood poured from his wound. For the other, Jaina had taken a fire blast directly to her face, one side of it burned badly. The smell of burning flesh was overwhelming whenever the two magis were in close quarters but thankfully that wasn’t often. He thought perhaps he had injured her eyesight because of this as her aim accuracy had been thrown off significantly.

Another ice lance was sent his way. Rommath feigned to the left as he thought it was aimed to his right though he did not see how the lance split as it was thrown to him, shards of ice burrowing deep into the sides of his ribs and he gasped at the sudden cold and pain. In retaliation, he sent a barrage of arcane missiles towards Proudmoore. A few had hit their mark and she fell to her knees. Rommath saw his chance as she struggled to get back up and, again, cast more missiles at her.

At the last moment, Jaina had summoned another barrier around her. This time the spells had reflected off of them and to Rommaths surprise they had been deflected back towards him. He missed a few though a majority of them had struck, leaving arcanic burns and deep wounds more across his chest and arms. The wound that had already been on his chest flared up at the sudden burning from the arcane missiles and he found it hard to breathe.

Rommath stumbles then, clutching his chest as he gasped for air. Jaina, as he had, saw her own opportunity and approached him. With a triumphant look on her face, she smiled down bitterly at the elf. “This is checkmate, Grand Magister.” She said, a flurry of ice shards being conjured to rain down upon him. Again summoning his own flamed barrier, he bought himself enough time to roll out of proximity of the blizzard cast. With one final, desperate blast, he directed a fire blast to her again.

Upon contact with the human, she gasped before falling to the ground face first into the paved stone. With one final twitch from the archmage, Rommath knew he was victorious. He struggled to his feet. Unbalanced and still breathing heavily, he had started forward to approach Proudmoore’s body before a voice was heard, yelling, behind him. He didn’t hear what the person had said, he could barely hear anything over the pounding of his heart in his ears. Rommath had at least recognized it as Aethas.

As He tried to focus his vision, all Rommath could make out was Aethas and a small group of Magisters running towards him. As he focused, Aethas kept yelling something to him and pointing at something. As if in slow motion, time itself seemed to drag out the next few moments that would feel they’ve lasted years.

All at once he heard Aethas’s voice booming in his mind, “-WINDRUNNER-”. All at once he felt the sharp stab directly centered between his collar bones. He felt himself falling to his knees, landing with a heavy thud. All at once, Vereesa was standing before him. Her blue eyes shined with grief and tears threatened to spill. A snarl was clear on her face as she grabbed a handful of the Grand Magisters hair, forcing his head to snap backwards so he was looking her in the eyes. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of wincing, instead masking it with his own snarl.

Her voice rang loud and hysterically, reverberating off the stone foundation of the city. Vereesa withdrew a blade and as she yelled her battle cry, tearing into flesh and blood began spewing from his neck. “FOR PROUDMOORE. FOR THE SILVER COVENANT.”

He was released then and Rommath desperately grasped at his neck as he choked on his own blood, as if trying to hold together the ripped pieces of his flesh to stop the blood. He heard Aethas scream behind him and as he looked up, Vereesa had gone. Rommath coughed and gasped, holding out a hand in front of him on the ground as he watched helplessly as a scarlet pool began forming underneath him.

He knew he wouldn’t have survived this day. He knew both himself and Jaina were matched for power, both of them being extremely skilled and talented magi. So it would make sense they would be the ones to end each other. Rommath had not taken into account a vengeful Windrunner. Well, more specifically, this vengeful Windrunner. He had expected to die by Jaina’s hands, no other. But such is life, constantly full of surprises even in someone’s last moments.

His own last moments were not of Vereesa, however, but of Eryis. He still felt incredibly guilty at sending her on a mission just to deceive her by slipping away while she was gone. But it was better this way. Same as he’d mentioned in the letter she would receive, it was for the best that he had gone. His mission had ultimately been a success, Jaina now lay dead before him. And he would soon join her.

Memories flashed through his mind, one after the other. Splashing a girl with raven hair and a pink ballet dancers outfit, being pushed in the river repeatedly by the same girl annually, placing a flower crown upon her head for her birthday, the oh so many painfully awkward moments they shared before they had both realized they had been pining all along for each other, taking her to that still cringey family reunion one year, the kiss they had shared that had solidified their relationship. Their daughters being born just a few years ago.

Countless others followed in his mind. So much time spent with her. Even in this moment, as blood poured like a waterfall from his throat, his thoughts always managed to find their way back to her. Rommath felt the sting of tears finally spiraling down his face though they were accompanied by silence.

So many memories with Eryis. Just to end here as he bled out in the city that had given him so much previous hell all throughout his life. Of course it would be here he fell. Despite everything that had happened today he could at least say he didn’t have regrets; save for leaving Eryis. His mission was accomplished. Rommaths vision began to fade then, a numb darkness blanketing him from the cold that was setting in. In his final gasping breath, he spoke to these memories that still played in his mind.

“Be brave, my sun and stars.”If not for me, then for the little ones.

Sima and Feana were his pride and joy. Rommath had never, ever expected himself to be a father, let alone being a good one, but once the twins had been born he seemed to surprise even himself. He knew with both his own and Proudmoore’s demise, they would be safer and he couldn’t ask for anything else other than that. At least that thought seemed to ease the Grand Magister’s mind as he pitched forward into the pool of crimson.

[astownd]

So lets start off with in the ends it is all completely and utterly my own fault.I should have been able to see the signs. I should have been a better person, friend, fiance, man, and most importantly a dad.

Where do I even begin?

I felt like I worked so hard for my family I was creating in my own way, making money in my own way. Got a house with the beautiful mother of my little boy, things were good for awhile, than rough, than covid, than bad. But before that we lived in an apartment, and the things i was doing and the substances (alcohol and adderal) were my coping mech. I would stay up for days, not eat, constantly trying to make every dollar I could to make sure we had a place to live freely. ( we both grew up in not so good broken homes). She made little mistakes one that completely don’t matter and are way overlooked, love her with all my heart. 

but the drugs and alcohol started getting to me, i became irritable constantly, never wanted to leave, hated everyone. I was always mad, always needed my way. Than I cheated once and thank god that she took me back even after that. Honestly she did a ton and most of all the work. She is one of the most dedicated and hard working woman/mothers I have ever come acrossed. She never stops making sure our son has everything he needs plus more, working constant hours at terrible jobs, sometimes with terrible people. I didnt see the stress it was putting on her, the constant cries for just down time for herself, or her need to want to go out and do things. I held her inside and caged away. ( not literally lol) I really should have been showing her off and paying for her countless nights to go out and have fun with her friends because honestly she fucking deserves and deserved it. I couldn’t be any happier that, that woman is the mother to OUR beautiful little boy. After my first few mistakes I just started tumbling downhill. Never stopped making them. I am so fucking sorry and truly dislike the person i became over all of it. After all that we had our son, and we put down a down payment on a home. We moved in things were good for awhile, than rough because of my laziness and lack of will to do anything ever. It was a mixture of that but also a mix of me actually being comfortable where I was at for once in my life. I finally had a place I could call a home, I FINALLY HAD A REAL family I could call my own. So i just got more lazy, I just began to lackadiscally relax all the time and do nothing, didn’t help unpack, barely got stuff done around the house. The stress built on her alot, and I saw it. She wanted me to get a job, a real job. So I would be a man. And I agree with her, I was not a man, and honestly probably still not, but I am trying to be for our son. I wish her too but I know I lost that part of me. She would come home and just want to relax, but would have to cook and take care of our son. She needed time alone but also out, and I never gave her either. Im so dumb for alot of things, but honestly losing her has to be by far the dumbest thing I could have done besides trying to take my own life after the fact. I wish we could have fixed it, I wish we could have communicated better. We both have mental issues, more me than her by far, and hers were probably caused by me in the end. But we got super bad right around christmas time, real bad, i was basically staying upstairs in my gaming room, my clothes were in the dressers anymore, they were up there. But like two weeks prior of one of the worst days of my life, things started to seem almost better. We were getting along again, I was seeing a smile in her face that I haven’t seen in so long. I feel so deeply, and honestly from the start of our relationship/ friendship her smile has always been my most fav thing about her. She even came an said to me “ why don’t you put your clothes back in the dresser, you have a family here, and we love you” because we got into an agruement over me being constantly needy and clingy. I was begging for her attentions for months but I didnt realize she didnt want to give it to me because I wasnt a man but I also was just ruining her along the way.  So that night I didn’t move my clothes becasue it was late, but I got off the couch went downstairs and got into bed with my beautiful family. A week or two passes. I could tell she was being a little off. and at night one night she looks over to our son while were all in bed together and says I think daddy and I are better just as friends. Right away I teared up and began to cry because im so broken down at this point but purely because of my own causes. She says to me “ what you dont like the sounds of beings just friends” I said no, I love you, and so much more. She didn’t want to hear it, she didnt want to give me an ultimatum, or tell me what I had to work on. But she was in the complete right by far. So I eventually get quiet roll over and fall asleep crying. the next early morning I wake up to her flustered trying to pee. Our son wakes up so easily, so immediatley he gets up and follows her to the bathroom, its probably 630 am so Im dead asleep. I wake up and go right to the bathroom and she yells at me because she can’t go pee alone ever. In no mean tone or nothing I just said baby wake me up and Ill grab him for you anytime, and immediatley it started a fight because of the lurking thing from the night before. She said that we were toxic, that if we continued to be together now and longer that we couldn’t fix it and that we would always stay toxic. Clearly I didnt agree with that, begged and pleaded. It turned into the most heated agruement I have probably ever been in with some I have loved. I regret everything rotten and mean thing I said in my angry judgement. I didn’t mean any of it. I love every part of that woman, still even after all the things that have happened. and that she has maybe or maybe not done. But I was kicked out that day with nothing but my computer, xbox, wallet, monitor, and a handful of clothes. That is the day I LOST EVERYTHING my entire world. My entire dream, everything I began to strive but also wanted in my life. A home, a family, a beautiful wife, mother, and children. I went into a complete and utter psychotic break and was nuts. still am. I made her life hell, I scared her, I threatened her with taking our son away from her. So many things I did not mean but I would never do. Our son needs both of us, but most imnportantly he needs his mother. She worked and works so hard for him day in and day out and takes such good care of him. Sorry I needed to let it out somewhere, everyone near just says go fuck someone go do this. BUT NONE OF THAT is going to make me feel better, none of that is going to bring back my family, none of that is going to even help progress, if anything it would make things worse. So I sit and I remain forever loyal to who I would love to call my fiance still.  But where I wanted to get at is WHAT the actual FUCK do you do when you lose EVERYTHING.She was my bestfriend, my everything, honestly probably the only reason geniune person I had in my life for a really long time so It was even worse, I had noone to turn to. No where to go. Noone wanted me . Noone wants me. I was just angry bringing everyone down around me after. Constantly drinking and just being stupid. Im really trying to get a better handle on things now though for my son. What kills me the most is before we had Wesser bean, she got preg before and had a miscarrage. Which kills both of us mentally, but more her than anything. That is her body, and that beautiful child was growing inside of her. We weren’t going to try again for the sake of our sanities after that. But on some of our long talking nights with one another we agreed that we wanted to try again, we wanted a family. But we promised to each other that we would never NO matter what let our children grow up like we did. In a broken home, a broken family. I want my son to be able to wake up next to his mother and father every living day and be able to enjoy all his little ups and downs. But I ruined that. I caused everything, I am the reason I lost everything. I am still so utterly confused and dont know where to go or what to do. My mind is always worrying about those two because they arent in arms reach and I cant be there quick enough. I still worry about her a ton even though everyone tells me I shouldn’t but that was my best freaking friend from almost the instant she curved me the first time. Thats the woman I loved, the woman I wanted to marry, the one I called fiance, but most importantly the mother to our child. So I will never stop worrying, or caring about it. I wish I had anyone, anyone that wouldn’t just push me off, or just give me some petty advice to go do some petty stuff like its going to slap her in the face? No becauses it not, she doesn’t love the piece of poop I am, nothing is going to slap her beautiful face. I would give anything to go back, fix some mistake, and be a man for them. Honestly I over think, thats my biggest issue. I love this girl to death, and I know im not adequate and she hasn’t had time to have fun or do the things she wanted too. But no matter what she has done, said, did, or didn’t do I would probably still take it like a grain of salt and do anything to immediately be back in her home, what I used to call home with them. To be a man, to be better. To be a dad. To be everything. Her and my son are my only lights, without them I just see darkness and it consumes me and just makes me want to do nothing, but it should burn a fire in me. I want them near by, cheering me on, but also helping me steer back onto the right path when im going astray. Its been three months now since I have been home, Since I have been able to sleep next to my son and wake up to his little smiling face. To be able to feel the warmth and hear my best friends voice on a daily basis. Shit three months since I have even slept on a mattress. about 2 months ago I took a estimated count of 32-45 pills of multiple different varieties. From pain killers, to adderal, to anti depressants, and sleeping pills. All one big mix. Got stupid drunk on top of it and tried taking my own life. I went to go lay down finally about an hour after I finished all the pills because I didnt feel well. The second my head hit the pillow I started throwing up really bad. I could not stop, I could not breathe. And the whole time All I could see Is my sons face. crying. not knowing where I went, What happened. Or why I was such a coward I would do that. about 5 minutes into me hurling I started to really not be able to breathe, I almost couldn’t choke the words out from the back of the trailer, I screamed as hard as I could from an ambulance. My mom came running in and looked at me and asked seriously If i needed it or not. I looked back and told her I would die if she didn’t. She called, I ended up waking up 3-6 hours later in a hospital bed completely and utterly confused but so fucking ashamed. They had a therapist or someone in there waiting for me to wake up, I guess I said somethings in my delusions of substance. But about after 15 minutes of talking to him and him seeing my sit. He looked at me told me they pumped my stom, and that If I didnt make that call My son wouldn’t have a father. Hearing him say that still kills me. I messed up big that time. they released me within 25 minutes of waking me up. no shoes, no shirts, puke covered pants, no cell phone at 630 am. What a wonderful hospital right? Try to take my life and they save it, but let me go just like I was nothing. I got to a near by store called for a ride and waited. Showed up home at my moms more ashamed and more sad because of yet another terrible choice I made. Tonight is the first night aubs have let me have our son alone for a time period. And for a solid 15 minutes I Couldn’t stop but also wanting to apologize so much to my son. He just came up to me gave me a big wesser hug, layed on me, and let me sing to him for 30 mins just like mummy used to do so he could fall asleep.  I never felt a love like I do for my boy, loving a human like aubrey is wonderful and beyond one of a kind, but loving your child and their love back is something words alone cannot describe. I can’t ever be so sorry that I ever tried that, that I ever would do that to my son. He deserves so much better. I am slowly trying tho too. Not alot of people know because noone cares and I just want to be alone but I scraped together the last remainder of any cash or any value I had left and got 4k. Didn’t sell our wedding ring or anything for that money. (its worth is 4.2-5.5k) I be holding onto that thing like its my life, I constantly catch myself grabbing it and wearing it still like a loser lol.Went and looked at a little trailer today, needs gutted almost, decent amount of work. Guy was asking 4k. with the work it needed I went balls deep said 2, he hit me with 2.5k If the mobile home park accepts my background check hopefully Ill finally have a little place I can lay my head. Its been a rough three months, homeless I would say, couch hopping, place to place. I am done now. I am fed up with myself but with everyone and everything around me. I need to be better for my son, so this is my start and my little way I guess. I have been applying countless places, All I want to do is dive all my time into some form of work/ works and be alone unless my son ( his mother included one could wish) is the company. My bills would be utterly dumb cheap. I just want to work and help her out to provide but keep the beautiful home she chose for her future family. I want to be able to make sure I can reassure her she won’t lose that roof, or that she can go out and eat, or wes can have that toy. She works to damn hard to lose it. It was like a movie too, third house on the realtors listings. We walk through the front door threshold, immediate second she turned around with the smile I fell inlove with and said this is the one. AND BY god when this woman says she wants something or is going to do something, she fucking does it, does it well, sticks it to ya, and does it kick. Immediately she got an offer in and she got her home. I’ll never be able to fix the mistakes and wrongs I did. Never be able to give back all the time and tears and heartache I caused her and her family countless times. But I want to be able to be part of my sons life, to atleast try to atone for the terrible things I did. I want 0 pity by the way. This was soley for me. For me to let stuff out. I will forever love aub snuffalfugus. and of course our beautiful boy Wesley. I would do anything, give anything, forgive and forget anything this second to see her walking up to me holding our little man and say “does daddy wanna come home” or “ dad come home” or “ i think its time dad comes home”. I understand I never will get that chance and by far I never will get that chance. I understand I did this, I created this, and I am the one to blame. I pray to god every night that maybe right now just wasn’t the exact time or what we needed. That he will lead our path back together one day. I see glimmers of hope in dumb things, but thats my over thinking. I love that freaking beautiful furrowed browed woman and our son so much. and with me being gone, I can’t tell if shes struggling, I can’t tell if she cares, I can’t tell if she thinks about us, our old family, or the things that happened. She has such a good poker face, shes so good at holding things in. But she has been glowing, has been looking more beautiful than ever with her hair all curly and down. She is constantly in her phone texting and smiling, and when I say that I in no form care who or about what, I care that the fact that the smile is there and its the real one. She seems happier, healthier, and more together than ever and I hope that its not a front, not that it matters because shes a strong ass mom and she kicked thru it. I love seeing her happy. I love seeing her look good. i absolutely adore the fucking smile. I am trying to come to terms that maybe I wasn’t the right one, That I couldn’t make her happy, but I was placed there to get her through a time , but also for her to have our beautiful son. Now that he has come, she has seen that I wasn’t much of really anything, so she bettered herself. But even if shes not with me, as long as she is safe, our son is safe, they have a warm roof above their heads, and full tummies than I can’t complain. That is what im striving for. To just be able to simplify their lifes but to see her smile again, and I have been seeing it and she rockkkkk that shit. Everytime I see her I get into my feelings, but tonight hit me for some reason. Tonight really had/has me thinking. Forever stay our beautiful little chunk Wesser. I love you both. 

ok done word vommiting, think im ready to cry if off in the shower lmao. 

[teamkaiforever]

I BELIEVE IN YOU

(requested by   @toriar1019 )

word count : 3 884 summary :  Kai fights the siren’s mind control because of his feelings for Reader. * gif by phantom-evil __________________________ A week. That’s how long Y/N and her friends tried everything to open the Vault at the Armoury to get back Kai and Damon. None of them was prepared to find the Vault completely empty , none of them could figure out how they got out. Y/N had thought the anguish she had felt during that time was too much but what came next broke her completely. Three months went by before there was even a hint about what Damon and Kai might be up to. Things only got worse from there. Being separated had always been hard , but this time it was different. Kai wasn’t on some trip for a few days somewhere. There wasn’t a way to find them with a locator spell or anything. It took Y/N and her friends month to track them down and eventually find them at an abandoned slaughter house after a victim was found. Stefan and Y/N had gone there and had tried to get them back the same second they found them , but things hadn’t gone according to plan. Seeing Kai had been enough to put the pieces of her heart together again and shatter it completely right after specially after hearing Kai say ‘I don’t love you and I never have. Go before I rip your throat out.’ Those words echoed in her mind and they cut deeper than any knife ever could , even though she knew he hadn’t meant a syllable. Kai’s eyes had betrayed him , the way he had held onto her hand for a few seconds before pushing her away - he had done it on purpose to get her to leave. Y/N never gave up hope and seeing him only made her more determined to get him back , no matter what she had to do or who she’d have to go through to make it happen. Kai couldnt believe what his life had been turned into the past few months. He had spent years trying to be better and learn to control his blood thirst after he turned , had a girl who loved him enough to risk her own life more than once just to save him and just when he was about to get everything he ever wanted he got himself into this mess. All of this had ruined helping people for him. Worst part of it all was that no matter how much he fought , there was no way out. Kai was stuck with Sybil and his least favourite person on this planet who had tried more than once to kill him. It had been months since Kai had been with Y/N and he had wanted to go back for her so many times but knew if Sybil found out about her , his girl would end up dead or worse. He couldnt let that happen.     “What is he doing?” asked the siren. Damon glanced at him. Kai was sitting not too far away from them with some paper in his hands , reading or more like pretending to read so he doesn’t have to think about the things he had done in order to keep Sybil distracted and keep his girl safe. Y/N – he suppressed a smile , just her name was enough to make him happy but he couldn’t let it show. He closed his eyes and he could see her smile , even hear her voice sometimes.     “Catching up on current events.” said Kai indifferently. “The mysterious disappearances are drawing too much attention. Think you can cut back on red meat a bit ?” Sybil rolled her eyes. “I spent a better part of a thousand years trapped in a Vault. So no , and who are you to tell me what to do ?” Kai sighed. He was getting tired of being an evil minion , finding her 'evil people’ to eat , not to mention how fighting the siren’s mind control was getting harder each day. However he was doing better than Damon , who was flying on full cruise control. His least favourite Salvatore didn’t even remember who Elena was now , thats how much Sybil had messed with his head. Kai would rather die than have his memories of Y/N twisted or replaced with new versions.     “No one , apparently.” he said with a smirk. “I’m going out to grab a snack. Blood bags just dont do it for me as you well know.”     “Fine , but dont go too far.” said the siren. “There is a housewife living in the house next door , bet she is delicious.”     “Thanks for the offer, but I prefer my blood a little younger.” said Kai walking past them. “I’m going to look for a cheerleader at the high school or some confused teen at a bar. Oh or a sorority girl. Who knows what I’d find.” After all those months they were finally close by Mystic Falls. About two weeks ago when he had briefly seen Y/N for the last time , it had been so hard fighting the urge to pull her into his arms , suffocate her with kisses and never let go of her again. The look in her eyes , how they had lit up when she saw him - it was all seared into his mind. In that moment he had felt happy again but then came the look of hurt when he had said all those horrible things to push her away for her own safety. Y/N was stubborn as hell , more determined than ever - it had been his only option to get her to go. Kai had never been more afraid of his feelings for the brave human girl than in this moment. Even after the merge with Luke , he hadnt been that shaken of everything he was feeling. Just the thought of her getting hurt in any way was enough to send him in a really dark place. There was no life for him without her and he was sure if she died , he’d die with her. Sybil kept digging in his mind and he knew at some point she’d uncover Y/N’s existence. There was only one thing left he could do to protect her , as painful as it might be for the both of them. After all this mess was over he’d go and find her , move away with her, start a new. Kai walked into town , knowing her daily routine hoping nothing had changed and she’d still be going to work at the Grill. He stood a few hundred metres away waiting for her and just like always at the exact same time every Tuesday - there she was. More beautiful than ever with a look of determination on her face. A gust of wind blew out of nowhere (or more like Kai manipulated the weather) and she turned towards him. The look on her face changed between shock , surprise , caution , surprise and love – sticking to the last one. Her eyes widened and she ran towards him not even paying attention to traffic or cars or anything or anyone else in general.     “Kai!” said Y/N running directly into his arms. “H-how are you here ? Why are you here?” Kai pulled her towards him , tighter than ever and smiled at her. He could see in her eyes she knows something was wrong with him. Did he really look as broken on the outside as he felt on the inside? he wondered. His hands cupped her face and he kissed her gently for a few seconds. The young heretic couldn’t believe after everything he had said , Y/N had ran towards him like that instead of going the other way , how she hadn’t yelled at him or slapped him or anything.     “I’m sorry Y/N … I should’ve never gone to that Vault.” said Kai softly, his voice filled with sadness and regret. “I am sorry for what I said to you a few days ago too. We had ears on us –”     “I knew you didn’t mean it.” she smiled widely at him , not willing to let go off him or move more than half an inch away. “Whats going on Kai ?” Y/N gazed into his eyes - he looked different - broken , crushed. The way he had pulled her towards him , as if letting go of her would mean his death both scared her and made her happy. Whatever was happening it was probably worse than she had thought.     “I … I literally cannot say.” he sighed. Y/N looked at him with a puzzled expression.”No , I mean it – whenever I try to say out loud whats going on it comes out all giberish.”     “Doesn’t matter , as long as you are here. Come on , lets go home —”     “I cant.” said Kai. “I want to , more than anything but I — cant. You need to leave town. Now.“ he said with a serious look. "Go home , pack up your things and leave. It’s not safe for you here.”     “Leave ?! No. Not without you.” protested Y/N.     “I – the siren keeps digging inside my memories , trying to find what I am holding on to.” said Kai , cupping her face. “There is no way to stop her. Her neck gets snapped and she comes back to life 5 seconds later. If something happens to you -”     “- I’ll die if something happens to you.” she said pressing her lips onto his. Kai pulled her towards him , kissing her as if its the last time he’d ever kiss her.     “For once in your life, do as I say.” he demanded. “Don’t make me compell you to forget all about me.” Y/N took a step away from him. Kai wouldn’t compell her , he wouldn’t go that far. Never. Though this desperate look in his eyes made her feel nervous. She understood he wanted to protect her , like always but he wouldn’t cross that line.     “You wouldn’t…”     “We both know I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Even if it means losing you.” Tears had started gathering in her eyelids just thinking how just when she finally got him back , he wants her to go away.  No way. There was another way to get him to go with her , because there is no version of her life without him — and that way was walking towards them in that moment.     “Okay – I’ll leave.” she sighed in defeat. Kai looked at her with a mix of surprise and heartbreak in his eyes clearly not expecting her to give in that easily and dreading losing her again.     “But you are coming with me.” she finished , seeing Stefan behind Kai , holding a vervain syringe. A few moments later Kai dropped unconscious. “Thanks for that Stef.”     “Yeah. Don’t mention it.” replied the Salvatore, holding Kai’s body. “I suggest you two get out of town. Alaric is working on finding out what that instrument is and how it helps us kill the siren. As soon as we figure it out , our lives would go back to normal or as normal as they were before all this.”     “What is normal anyways?” she wondered. With Stefan’s help she got Kai onto the backseat of her car. Y/N put the keys in the ignition and drove off as fast as she could not giving a damn about the speeding limits or red lights or anything. Her eyes kept darting between the road and the review mirror , looking at Kai on the back seat. Everything was fine until they passed old Miller Road and he started to wake up screaming in pain , holding his head in his hands.     “Y/N… stop the car.” he groaned rolling around the backseat.     “No. We — we are leaving. There has to be a way to get you away from her and out of her control.”     “I - I can’t l-leave.” he groaned and reached his hand stopping the car with magic. Y/N hit the gas pedal again , tried the ignition but none of it worked - the car had stopped in the middle of the road. A groan of frustration left her lips. What had the siren did to him ? Kai got out of the car and started walking back into town. Quickly she unbuckled her seat belt and ran after him , catching up in a few metres. Seeing him in pain broke her heart , even more noticing the tears in his eyes. He kept rubbing his forehead , groaning in pain. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders making him look at her.     “Kai , whats happening ? Tell me.”     “I am too far away from her. She is p-pulling me back.” said Kai taking another step towards town. “Get in the car and go before she finds you -”     “You are stronger than this Kai. You can fight it –”     “I’ve been fighting it for months now … ”     “Don’t stop. I will help you. We’ll find a way to break the link , I promise.” Kai laughed under his breath. “You can’t help me Y/N. I know you love me and want to help but - ”     “Well , well , well…” said a young woman with short brown hair and brown eyes , standing a few steps away from them. “I was wondering how you keep resisting my control. Pity this girl didn’t listen when you told her to leave. Damon , if you may –” Damon grabbed Y/N before Kai had had time time to react , holding her in a tight grip ready to snap her neck at a moments notice. Kai tried to get to her but the siren hummed some tune and he stopped in his tracks , visibly struggling to get to his girl.     “Now , Kai.” said the siren taking a step towards the young heretic who was trying hard to fight her influence and move. “If you don’t want anything awful to befall your girlfriend –”     “Fiance.” he corrected quietly.     “– then you are going to do exactly as I say. Both you and Damon are quite resourceful when it comes to picking victims but I think you’ll be a lot more committed when there is nothing holding you back. So , I am giving you a choice.” Y/N watched Kai stare at the ground , refusing to meet the siren’s eyes. His hands were shaking and she knew that look very well. Under any other circumstance at this point , whoever had gotten in his way would have had their throat ripped out or their head would’ve rolled on the ground. It was a look Y/N hadn’t seen in almost 4 years and made her blood freeze. Her fiance was angry , hurt and scared and whenever one of those emotions took over things always ended badly. Y/N didn’t care what would happen to her , but she worried about what the siren wants Kai to do.     “What kind of a choice?” he asked.     “Shut off your humanity and come with me or watch your fiance die.” said the siren , pausing for a moment. “You know what – maybe I will make it more interesting and make you kill her. Imagine this - having to live with the guilt of killing the one person who you love more than anything.”     “Don’t — don’t do this to him.” pleaded Y/N , stepping on Damon’s foot with force in an attempt to get free. The vampire growled in her ear. “Let me go Damon or I swear … I’ll get to that coffin and burn Elena’s body myself.”     “Elena ? Who’s – who’s Elena?” asked Damon. Y/N gulped. If the siren could erase Elena’s existence from Damon’s mind then what could she have done to Kai ? Sybil laughed. “I see why you love her. Maybe if she was a supernatural I would’ve taken her with us. ” she paused for a moment. “I still can , find a way to taint her soul and kill her , making sure she’ll end up in Hell.” she thought out loud with an amused look. “So , what’s it going to be - are you coming with me or does your pretty girl gets to die ?”     “No.” said Kai.     “It’s really not a choice , honey. Turn it off. ”     “No.“ repeated Kai.     “We’ll have to do this the hard way then.” sighed Sybil and grabbed his head , closing her eyes. Kai could feel her digging in his mind , trying to find something else against him. He tried hard not to think about any of the moments he and Y/N had shared so the siren can’t modify them like she did to Damon’s memories of Elena but seeing his girl struggle to get free from the vampire’s grasp pulled one of the memories to the surface of his mind.      "Interesting.“ muttered the siren , slipping into one of his memories. "I have to say - that must be one of your best works. Taking your entire family down with you. It’s one of the reasons Cade wanted you. Now why is this memory so important to you—” Kai stood by the entrance , watching himself walking through the wedding disaster struggling because of the werewolf bite. Bonnie showed up a few moments later but he wasn’t paying attention to that , the other him was dealing with that. He was watching out one of the windows , knowing any moment now he’d see Y/N heading towards the barn. Her dress was covered with blood and her hair was messier than ever. Bonnie flew across the room towards one of the walls and Damon showed up shortly after. Kai sat at the podium , playing with a rose in his hands while talking with the vampire. A few moments later Damon left and Kai saw himself looking around with confusion in his eyes. Then he heard it - the sound of one of Alaric’s compressed air weapons. He turned in the direction of the sound seeing Y/N and then Damon laying on the ground with a piece of wood plunged in his back.     “What ? No 'thank you'for saving your life ?” she said blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Y/N reached for his hand , instead Kai pulled her into his arms for a few seconds. “Lets go before he wakes up.”     “One moment … ” said Kai  , biting his wrist and rushing to Bonnie’s side. “Don’t you ever forget this Bon Bon.You didn’t really think I’d let you die did you ?” Y/N grabbed his hand and both of them run out of the barn. Somehow she was running faster than him and he had a hard time catching up with her. A few moments later he stopped abruptly making her stop too.      "Why would you save me ?“     "Because — you are not this monster. You are good and – I can’t let the person I love die. ”     “What ?” he asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.     “I love you Kai. You are my future and you can push me away all you want but even if you don’t let yourself see it or feel in general — ” she said softy , placing her palm on his cheek. “ — I know that you see the same. It’s in your eyes — ” Kai pulled her into his embrace , holding her tighter than ever unable to believe that after all the things he had done , including a few hours ago there was someone still believing in him , carrying about him and loving him.     “I love you too Y/N.” he said smiling resting his forehead on hers.      "Ohhh , I see.“ said Sybil , twisting his memory and replacing Y/N’s face with hers. Kai looked at her with a small smile on his face , tucking in a lock of hair behind her ear.  Sybil smiled at him innocently and leaned in to kiss him.     "Nice try. You are not her and I am not as weak as Damon.” said Kai , snapping her neck in a few moments later. 

Sybil opened her eyes , clenching her jaw. The siren hadn’t expected the young heretic to be that strong. Damon had resisted her but she had been stronger , this was new.     “Well , that was unexpected. Shall we try this again ?”     “You can try all you want Sybil.” said Kai with a smirk. “I’m not Damon and I am not the monster you want me to be. I’m not this person anymore.”     “Ahh that’s right.” said the siren smiling wickedly. “Because you love this fragile human girl and your feelings for her are stronger than your blood lust. Shame , she would’ve looked beautiful in a wedding gown. Damon — how would you feel about a snack?” Damon grinned , purple black veins flashing under his eyes and his fangs sank in Y/N’s neck. The girl screamed , dug her nails in Damon’s hands kicked and tried everything to get free but it was useless. Kai took a step towards them but Sybil hummed another tune forcing him to watch as the life drained from the girl he loved. The only person who ever gave him a real chance even before the merge was dying and he couldn’t even move his finger.     “Let her go.” said Kai. “I’ll — I’ll do what you ask just let her go.”     “Kai , don’t. You are stron-ger than you think. Fight – it.” said Y/N struggling to speak. Kai looked into her eyes , her lips forming four words 'I believe in you’.  He struggled , feeling Sybil trying to sneak into his mind again and get him to let go , but it didn’t matter - all he could hear and see was Y/N. His eyes closed for a moment and he found the strength to flick his wrist snapping Damon’s neck , raising his other hand pulling out Sybil’s heart out of her chest with magic. The moment the siren dropped on the ground his mind cleared and he ran towards his girl , biting his wrist bringing it to her lips.     “Don’t you dare die Y/N.” said Kai smiling nervously. “Not now …. not ever.” Y/N wrapped her fingers around his wrist feeling his warm blood trickle down her throat. A sigh left Kai’s lips and he caressed her face , placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself up unitl he wrapped his strong arms around her.     “You did it.” she smiled widely at him.     “Only because of you. ” he said softly. “Though that wont last for long unless your buddies figure out a way to hold her down. Until then –”     “– get in the car with me and we drive as far and fast away as we can.” she finished with a hopeful expression on her face. Kai smiled widely at her. “Pick a destination , sweetheart.” MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

[spnife]

91 question tag

Tagged by @vanillabeanniall​ and then @uswntinharmony​

More below the cut bc that’s how I roll

the last – 

1. drink: Arizona Tea

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my mom - she sent me two climbing videos. Or I sent them to me, from her phone

4. song i listened to: What a feeling, but I was asleep (i checked the music app just now), so the last song I remember hearing is Ray of Light by Madonna

5. time you cried: wednesday. First day of school was today so it was some stress

have you ever – 6. dated someone twice: yeah

7. been cheated on: yeah. I became friends with the guy though. Similar tastes I guess???  (( Actually I blocked him on snapchat last year bc he was talking some bs on his story but in eigth grade he wasn’t awful))  She lied abt it though and then talked to me two years later and still lied like okay

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no ragrets

9. lost someone special: not really

10. been depressed: fuck hell yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no. I had like a sip of beer on a trip but it was just to mess with a dude while he was in the porta potty

list 3 favorite colors – 12. light blue

13. orangish pink

14. dark purple

in the last year have you – 15. made new friends: heck yeah. I switched schools and found a really good group of people there already. It’s been alright

16. fallen out of love: not in the last year. gotta be in love first

17. laughed until you cried: probably but I don’t remember rn

18. found out someone was talking about you: I think? I found out parents were saying nice things about me. Mean wise maybe? I’m not really sure. Probably

19. met someone who changed you: at least one. a teacher last year

20. found out who your true friends were: i think? 

more –  21. kissed someone on your facebook? alas, i do not have a facebook

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? see 21

23. do you have any pets? A super sweet black lab named FeeBee, a kitten named Mulder and a cat named Milo, and a hedgehog named Wembly

24. do you want to change your name? i like my name. My last name bothers me sometimes bc dad stuff but it’s gotten better

25. what did you do on your last birthday? I had a chill day at school, got a nice car, got a card from all of the kids on the climbing team. One of them said “Wow Coach Ella, you only have two more years til you can drink,” like i’m sorry kid I’m only 16

26. what time did you wake up? 7. first day of school

27. what were you doing at midnight? crying and putting school stuff in my backpack and watching VEEP

28. name something you can’t wait for: to keep getting better at climbing, the Harry Styles concert on oct 11, my birthday on oct 13 bc it should be fun and I hope I’ll get another card from the climbing team bc they’re all lovely

29. when was the last time you saw your mother? today

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? i want to know that I’ll be able to be happy

31. what are you listening to right now? watching Raising Hope

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yep

33. something that is getting on your nerves? I keep getting anxiety while I’m at climbing practice and that’s one of my most comfortable places. it feels like im going downhill with climbing even though I know im getting better

34. most visited site: netflix

school –  35. elementary: i loved my elementary school. every teacher i had was amazing, small school in austin and a good community and i still talk to my friends from there. so when i moved to the new school in fifth grade and depression was already showing up, the differences made it literally hell. it was awful. i didnt like my teachers and i didnt know people

36. middle: 6th grade was hell, 7th grade was even fuckin worse, 8th was still pretty bad. All the worst years of my life so far, and tbh it’s gonna be hard to top them

37. high: better than middle school but thats a really fucking low bar. like incredibly low.

38. college: planning for ACC for two years to get base courses, dream school UT in an engineering major. I love the school and the program there, but I worry if I could barely get through middle school, how tf am I supposed to survive college. Also it didn’t feel great when I was talking to a friend and I was like “yeah ut is tbh my dream school, if I can get in” and she was like “oh that’s one my last choice colleges” like fucking okay love you thanks for telling me that makes me feel real good about my intelligence and how you view me

me –  39. hair color: brown

40. long or short hair? shoulder length

41. do you have a crush on someone? yep. according to a friend i am “so gone for this girl” but um. oka y what if she doesn’t like me? I feel good around her though and she likes being around me and we work well together I think. She’s lovely and I wouldn’t want to make things weird by asking her out if I don’t know she feels that way too.

42. what do you like about yourself? I am able to figure things out and I work with kids really well. I’ve also been getting better at climbing again so I’m proud of myself for that

43. piercings? just my ears

44. blood type: lol yeah like i know?

45. nickname: ellallalala is something I’m getting from people at the new school, and I’ve had some climbing nicknames over the years but Coachella is sticking. I coach and my name is Ella it’s great

46. relationship status: nope

47. zodiac sign: libra

48. pronouns: she/her

49. favorite tv show(s): always sunny, parks and rec, my name is earl, curious george

50. tattoos: soon

51. right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? right

first –  52. surgery: i had one on my pelvis in 2013? i was in preschool and it was for this weird group of veins on the side of my leg. We’d always called it a birthmark and after the surgery the scar looked like a sunset over water but the sun is purple (still looks like that it’s rad) and the first time someone showed me a birthmark i was like??? Um no thats just a little dark bit of skin?? my birthmark is purple what is this shit

53. piercing: ears

54. sport: rock climbing. found it early and still love it

55. vacation: no idea

56. pair of trainers: first i remember are a PAIR OF DORA LIGHT UP SHOES

current –  57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: arizona tea

59. i’m about to: finish my arizona tea

60. listening to: the episode ended so me typing and the clock my great grandmother gave is

future –  61. waiting for: me to feel alright

62. want: to like what i’m doing and to know i’m able to be happy doing it. I wish I could just skip to being married with kids and a dog and everything.

63. married: oh for sure

64. career: astronaut has always been my dream career but with this level of anxiety it’s probably a no go. I am not over it. I’m def gonna cry abt it in a couple of minutes bc thats how it goes, ya know. The last astronaut I talked to though said “the biggest disqualifier is not applying” so i’m still going to try my hardest. I also love engineering and physics and space and science and education and would love to be a librarian, so we’ll see

your type – 
 65. hugs or kisses? depends

66. lips or eyes? eyes, i guess. There’s more character there

67. shorter or taller? in my head i’m always like oh taller but really it doesn’t matter. as long as i can be little spoon im good to go

68. older or younger? doesn’t matter

69. nice arms or nice stomach? tummies are cute i guess. 

70. sensitive or loud? i don’t know

71. hook-up or relationship? right now relationship and at some point relationship but ask me a couple months ago and it would have been different

72. troublemaker or hesitant? both. troublemaker with a lot of decisions but in fun ways, but hesitant when it comes to talking to new people that i want to be good friends with. and asking people out

73. kissed a stranger? yep. on a bet

74. drank hard liquor? had some jack daniels mixed with coffee and it tasted like cinnamon toast crunch

75. lost contact lenses/glasses? my glasses always turn up

76. turned someone down? yeah. accidentally on a few though lol. As i had a crush on someone i went out with for a little while last yeah legit three other people liked me and i guess im oblivious bc i had no fucking idea

77. sex on first date? depends

78. broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so

79. had your heart broken? yes but in a friendship way along with the relationship. it goes back to the you should kill yourself stuff

80. been arrested? nope

81. cried when someone died? no one i’ve known closely has died. My great-great grandmother died when i was fiveish but she was really old. There have been a few suicides at my old school (i switched 2 months before end of last year) and those hit hard, just knowing that there are so many people here dealing with that stuff and me relating to it. I didn’t know the people well but we’d spoken and I knew them some, but I had some friends who were much closer and really affected

82. fallen for a friend? yeah

do you believe in –  83. yourself? i try

84. miracles? shit happens, and sometimes it’s good

85. love at first sight? who am i to say tbh

86. santa claus? no

87. kiss on first date? if i like them

88. angels? no

other –  89. current best friend’s name: skip

90. eye color: hazel

91. favorite movie: i dont know im tired and want to cry sort of so maybe i shouldnt think about this stuff as much when im already stressed im going to go drink more tea and eat some soup

Anway

I’m tagging anyone who reads this far. gotcha

[hgfstreamchats]

Gremlins

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. thenightetc: What... is this Knock Out: Excellent question. BBB: ö---ö thenightetc: That sure is a necklace he has there. Knock Out: It sure does exist. Knock Out: If the humans of Toronto have to live with this, so do you. BBB: good that I dont have to hear him.... seing that is already haunting enough..... Ö_ö Knock Out: Is the sound not working? thenightetc: It's working for me. thenightetc: Ahhhh, a nice wholesome christmas movie :) BBB: it surely is, I just can't turn it on at work.... could wake up a co worker ;P Knock Out: That would require some explaining. thenightetc: ...You know, considering what happens later in the movie, I would think that nearly everyone in the city has a story a LOT like this one.  Only with less explanation. Knock Out: ...When you're right, you're right. thenightetc: oh god. BBB: nothings better than greamlins at a dead nigh shift :D thenightetc: Always Be Closing

thenightetc: a tarantula! :D thenightetc: He should have gotten that instead.  Kids love spiders Knock Out: The town probably wishes he'd gotten him the spider, too. thenightetc: Right? Knock Out: I like how his idea of responsibility is locking it up in a box and leaving it where people can see. thenightetc: Right with all the stuff that IS for sale. thenightetc: Maybe the kid should have explained the other two rules. BBB: Well the ddad is not better... buying his son a present? SURE go for the shady chines guy with the strange things XD" Knock Out: Or should lied and said "It will die if you do any of these things." thenightetc: I mean, "don't feed him after midnight" is one thing, "if you feed him after midnight he will literally turn into a chaotic evil horrobeast" is another Knock Out: *Straight up thenightetc: Yeah, but then when he DID get wet and didn't die from it, they'd have known he lied. Knock Out: At that point, what does it matter? thenightetc: They might decide to test the other rule! Starscreamapillar: What is all this then? Knock Out: True. thenightetc: ...On the other hand, I wonder if the kid didn't know the reasons for the last two rules, either. Knock Out: Gremlins! thenightetc: Guy buys his kid a pet at a dodgy store with mysterious rules surrounding it, then everything goes bad. Starscreamapillar: I see. Mysterious pet rules rarely bode well. BBB: but honestly.... tell a kid 'dont do that your pet might multiply AND/OR turn into a monster' might get things just sped up... like.... kids aint smart agoodidstraction: what did i miss thenightetc: "Keep him out of bright light; he hates it and sunlight will kill him.  And keep him away from water and don't feed him after midnight, for reasons I'm not going to tell you." thenightetc: It might have made the guy think twice about buying it in the first place, though. thenightetc: Nobody wants to buy their kid a pet that'll turn into a literal monster! Starscreamapillar: And if you cannot sell a monster to some unsuspecting sucker, then what is even the point? thenightetc: Well, the store owner told him it wasn't for sale.  It was the store owner's grandkid who, suspiciously, got it for him. thenightetc: What the *** is her problem, anyway. Starscreamapillar: I am fairly certain torturing animals to death is not legal. thenightetc: You know from the way the dog just went after her, I have to figure she's been mistreating him in some way already. Starscreamapillar: Likely. BBB: THAT TV..... Starscreamapillar: I am going to predict those swords will be used later to hack up the consequences of poor decisions. thenightetc: Honestly, after the FIRST time that happened, I'd have mounted the swords more securely agoodidstraction: what kind of ant is that thenightetc: god it's like a Furby Starscreamapillar: So it is.... thenightetc: ...Hang on.  He can talk Starscreamapillar: What horror cannot? thenightetc: And he was just being kept as a pet? Knock Out: Oh no. He was being kept in a box in the corner. agoodidstraction: can other ants talk too?? thenightetc: God no. Knock Out: There's no proving they can't. thenightetc: These are purely fictional. agoodidstraction: ants are fictional? thenightetc: These aren't ants. agoodidstraction: that looks exactly like an ant Starscreamapillar: Not enough limbs for an ant. thenightetc: Are you kidding, he looks nothing like an ant. agoodidstraction: like a sugar ant mixed with a snow ant Starscreamapillar: . . . . Knock Out: Sugar snow. Sounds edible. agoodidstraction: Yum thenightetc: That seems like more juice and pulp than one orange should have. Thebes: Hello--oh, hey, Gremlins! thenightetc: Yes! Starscreamapillar: Did he not warn the child about the weird monster in his bed? thenightetc: yikes, that looks... painful. Thebes: well somethimes fantastical creatures in movies come with only just enough warnings to make ignoring those warnings sound like no big deal thenightetc: Uh oh thenightetc: STripe. Starscreamapillar: If they breed this easily, why is Earth not over-run? agoodidstraction: uhhhhhhhhhhh thenightetc: Well, sunlight kills them. thenightetc: Cute.  Yes. thenightetc: TBH it seems like Gizmo.... knows. thenightetc: Like he's the last survivor of what happened last time, and we know there was a last time because otherwise where did the rules come from. Thebes: It's implied he's... been through this before Knock Out: Possibly many times. Starscreamapillar: Hence being locked in a box in a corner in a junk shop? thenightetc: Yes. Windchill: *That feel when you appear at precisely the right moment.* Knock Out: And he was so happy, sleeping in a proper bed and watching his little movies, daring to hope it wouldn't happen again. agoodidstraction: reminds me of school Knock Out: Something wicked this way comes. thenightetc: you didn't "invent" those, dude. Knock Out: Hello, Windchill. Thebes: also how are you going to make money on anything that multiplies with tap water thenightetc: yaaaargh agoodidstraction: ahhh Windchill: *Pocahontas wave* thenightetc: poor puppy agoodidstraction: why are humans addicted to anxiety Windchill: Ew. agoodidstraction: how do they live like that Starscreamapillar: That looks like the sludge the medics drink. BBB: its fun? caffienatedconfetti: what are we watching? thenightetc: dude no Windchill: Well. Windchill: That's disturbing. agoodidstraction: ants Starscreamapillar: Bad decisions in motion. caffienatedconfetti: no but seriously thenightetc: He's gonna regret that later. Starscreamapillar: Gremlins, I hear. caffienatedconfetti: oooooo caffienatedconfetti: no please caffienatedconfetti: no thank you caffienatedconfetti: furbies Thebes: honestly the furbies aren't that bad! Windchill: Oh no, Furbies are on a whole 'nother level. Thebes: relatively Windchill: Way worse than Gremlins. caffienatedconfetti: demons agoodidstraction: how can they be worse? agoodidstraction: these are the weirdest ants i've ever seen Starscreamapillar: I lived through the Furby craze. They didn't multiply that quickly. Windchill: Just see what happens when they run low on batteries. caffienatedconfetti: ants????? BBB: or turn on at night thenightetc: He.... drives places in a tractor? agoodidstraction: alright i'm gonna start a furby collection Starscreamapillar: It is an American tractor. caffienatedconfetti: why ants Windchill: Man. thenightetc: I don't think they're made for street speeds, though agoodidstraction: you know, small furry things Windchill: If people stood outside my house and howled like that, I'd shoot 'em. thenightetc: Now I'm picturing it caffienatedconfetti: ants dont have fur????? caffienatedconfetti: they're tiny bugs Starscreamapillar: Aah. That makes more sense. caffienatedconfetti: they're suder duper small caffienatedconfetti: and also someof them bite thenightetc: Apparently that's not true. thenightetc: ^about the suicide rate caffienatedconfetti: who told you that about ants tho agoodidstraction: i had a fire ant and she bit a lot Windchill: But it WAS super edgy to say. thenightetc: (Anyway this is a furby :) https://img00.deviantart.net/e6a1/i/2004/136/8/2/dissected_furby.jpg ) caffienatedconfetti: ....dude fire ants are smaller than a human's fingernail how did you 'have' a fire ant???? Windchill: Um. Knock Out: Liar. BBB: ouch D: Windchill: Typical. Knock Out: That needle's the size of his entire arm. agoodidstraction: don't ask me, it was anon magic. they gave me a fire ant. Windchill: You're a huge seed pod. agoodidstraction: No you thenightetc: So what does this "fire ant" look like caffienatedconfetti: you don't alk about ants in the singular agoodidstraction: I'm the one with the mohawk caffienatedconfetti: they're always in groups thenightetc: ...You've seen this before, haven't you. Starscreamapillar: Yes, who wouldn't want a box of screaming creatures in their house as pets? agoodidstraction: no agoodidstraction: he looks like me caffienatedconfetti: what' thenightetc: ...just you wait. BBB: thats SO gross BBB: every time... Windchill: That's a little too close to home. thenightetc: oh my god, they have like.  human teeth. caffienatedconfetti: ewwww caffienatedconfetti: oh lorf caffienatedconfetti: no thank you agoodidstraction: lorf Windchill: Who just leaves their sandwich just laying around overnight? Starscreamapillar: A bad scientist. agoodidstraction: I leave my sandwich just laying around overnight all the time thenightetc: Someone unconcerned with food poisoning? Windchill: A lying scientist. BBB: and someone without pets roaming around... BBB: (or roommates) agoodidstraction: ?? whoa caffienatedconfetti: those are some big doo doos Windchill: They look like poops. Starscreamapillar: . . . That never ends well. Smash those immediately. BBB: kinda reminds one of the alien movies XD" Windchill: They look like the eggs in that notoriously awful Godzilla movie. Windchill: 'Cept this film came first. caffienatedconfetti: we oughta watch alien sometime caffienatedconfetti: ripley is badass and a 10000/10 agoodidstraction: why does the phone sound haunted caffienatedconfetti: because its old thenightetc: One of their dad's inventions. thenightetc: He invents stuff that's broken and buggy. Windchill: To watch any of the Alien films is to sit through several hours of people discussing their oviposition kinks. Starscreamapillar: They have their own Que. Windchill: No thanks. agoodidstraction: what now caffienatedconfetti: ewwww Thebes: wait there's movies on the internet that don't result in people discussing their kinks? Starscreamapillar: Failed inventor who won't stop making garbage. Windchill: ...Probably not. caffienatedconfetti: starscream's throwing shade thenightetc: Accurate description agoodidstraction: hey garbage to greatness Windchill: Who's this, the Wicked Witch? thenightetc: Pretty much! Windchill: Fantastic. caffienatedconfetti: welp i have something importaant tomorrow, i'm just dropping by Windchill: Gross. agoodidstraction: see ya caffienatedconfetti: and it seems im leaving at jusr rhew right time thenightetc: Goodnight! agoodidstraction: don't let the ants bite caffienatedconfetti: goodbye Knock Out: Goodnight! thenightetc: I feel sorry for Gizmo.  He knows what's coming, but he can't communicate it to anyone who could do something about it. Starscreamapillar: Why couldn't he? He speaks. Windchill: Maybe he's just stupid? Knock Out: He's incapable of saying anything that isn't adorable. thenightetc: Yeah, but he only seems to know a few phrases.  Maybe he doesn't fully understand the language, or maybe he isn't physically able to say more words than that. Windchill: Maybe...it's for plot convenience. BBB: maybe like a parrot? Windchill: Turn on the lights you absolute madman. Starscreamapillar: I feel this man is being reckless in handling his unknown monster. Knock Out: I'm surprised he didn't rat them out when they were making a fuss for food. Knock Out: He clearly knew it was after midnight, he turned down the chicken. agoodidstraction: caca BBB: horror movie rule 2: never turn on the light, it might be a good idea... Starscreamapillar: Admittedly, they know that these things dislike the light. thenightetc: Yeah, they seem to have a sense of when midnight is and know what happens BBB: .... but when does the midnight rule end? Starscreamapillar: Surprise surprise, the black man did not survive the movie. Knock Out: Sunrise, maybe? Windchill: It's like Jurassic Park all over again. thenightetc: That would make sense, although who knows really. Windchill: 'Cept this film is older. BBB: would make sense! Thebes: probably goes from midnight to sunrise, since, you know. light kills. Windchill: Wow. thenightetc: My theory is they're some kind of fairy, and operate on fairy-tale logic. Windchill: At least she's thinking ahead, but I doubt that's gonna be enough. Thebes: listen to the distressed muppet, 80's mom! Avoid! agoodidstraction: too high for this thenightetc: At least he managed to tell her the important part first Starscreamapillar: That fist. Windchill: Someone's got the right idea. Windchill: If it were me, first thing I'd do was eat all the cookies too. agoodidstraction: what Knock Out: It's got its priorities in order. Starscreamapillar: She could have fled the house by now. They have a front door. Thebes: ... so I'm sorry in advance but--THIS WEEK, ON DOES IT BLEND agoodidstraction: oh no agoodidstraction: ahhhhhhhhhhh Windchill: She's doing a number on 'em so far. agoodidstraction: yeah two knives agoodidstraction: swish swish *** Starscreamapillar: But she is alone. All it takes is one slip up, and she is without backup. BBB: aww missed the fun part XD Windchill: I think the cookie pan shield and a knife was a better loadout. agoodidstraction: there i am Windchill: I always knew trees were bad news. thenightetc: Swords prominently in ferame thenightetc: YEP Starscreamapillar: I was right. Windchill: Wow. agoodidstraction: me Windchill: Grotesque. agoodidstraction: bye Windchill: He's gone. Windchill: You could hear the sound of his little feeties. Windchill: Vanishing into the night. Windchill: So...he went back alone? Starscreamapillar: He's stupid. Windchill: Moron. thenightetc: can hear him thinking like, "jesus christ mom" as he looks over the carnage Starscreamapillar: Walking the street with a sword, and a monster in your bag. Yes, that isn't suspicious. Starscreamapillar: No one has called the police about the corpse still in the school. Windchill: *Temptation to sing Y.M.C.A. rising.* agoodidstraction: me going for a swim thenightetc: And there's you having a million evil babies. Knock Out: If a glass of water was agonizing, I can't imagine how much that one hurts. Starscreamapillar: Apparently worth it, to spawn an army. agoodidstraction: i'm a proud daddy Knock Out: A million clones of yourself. agoodidstraction: just what i need agoodidstraction: more *** clones Windchill: Amazing. Thebes: KID, BRING PROOF Starscreamapillar: He's got a few dead ones at home he could use as evidence. thenightetc: Yeah, that's true.  He could have brought those Windchill: It's already dark in there, what the heck. agoodidstraction: yum yum Knock Out: Wheeljack hitting the town. agoodidstraction: me n my clones Windchill: Nice ride. thenightetc: I love this music, though. agoodidstraction: party Starscreamapillar: Death by failing to actually flee. Windchill: Did...they not have a back door? thenightetc: "Monsters, you say?" Starscreamapillar: "Accident" Windchill: *SNORTS* Starscreamapillar: Of course, she has cats. thenightetc: Hey!  Cats are actually great. Windchill: They better be nice to the cats. thenightetc: It's not THEIR fault she's a horrible person Windchill: What a reaction thenightetc: Wait is she saying she thinks they're literal demons, from hell thenightetc: Hhahahaha agoodidstraction: frag hahadls agoodidstraction: aaaaaaa BBB: wtf O___o Starscreamapillar: *Snrks* Windchill: Oh my god. BBB: santa!!! agoodidstraction: hahaaha Windchill: As usual, the police are useless. Starscreamapillar: Yes, leave the man to die. Thebes: to be entirely fair, pirahna-muppets are outside most people's experience agoodidstraction: wow Thebes: to the degree they probably didn't check the trunk, for instance agoodidstraction: that's a lot of dead people Starscreamapillar: A fine holiday massacre. thenightetc: "Hey!  You're not Rockin' Ricky fans!" thenightetc: oh my god thenightetc: here he goes again Windchill: Amazing. Windchill: These guys know how to party. agoodidstraction: oh yeah Starscreamapillar: Reminds me of the Nemesis, before it crashed. agoodidstraction: ha Knock Out: I wish. agoodidstraction: that's what it's like at knock out's place thenightetc: ...I wonder how they can drink beer without multiplying. Windchill: It flashed her. Windchill: Indecent. Starscreamapillar: The same way the snow isn't working? thenightetc: ...I didn't even think about the snow. thenightetc: I wonder if they're not warm enough to melt it. Knock Out: That one's Bumblebee. agoodidstraction: hahahaha BBB: pfffft Starscreamapillar: What is your Bumblebee like?! agoodidstraction: he's cute Knock Out: And chronically stressed, as of late. agoodidstraction: big optics Windchill: I'm surprised nobody's gotten shot yet. agoodidstraction: yeah BBB: aaaand finally work, have fun guys. bye agoodidstraction: see ya Starscreamapillar: Goodbye. Knock Out: Glad you could drop in! Windchill: There we go, her brain's working. thenightetc: Goodnight! agoodidstraction: were they paying? why was she serving them hahaha thenightetc: So they wouldn't attack her. agoodidstraction: tiny guns Starscreamapillar: Not so threatening when they can be defeated with a good flashlight. Knock Out: Where did they even get the tiny guns? Starscreamapillar: Tiny gun store. agoodidstraction: hahaah the whole town jvhfdlashjfkds Knock Out: Checks out. Starscreamapillar: The security on this bank is just atrocious. Windchill: *Raises brows.* Starscreamapillar: . . . . thenightetc: *wince* Knock Out: PFFTHAHAHAHA! Windchill: What kind of moron tries to climb down a chimney. Starscreamapillar: Ha! Knock Out: Gizmo's jealous because they know how to party. thenightetc: ...I wonder what "mogwai" actually means.  Is he just, like, a pokemon that keeps saying his name?  Or does it mean something. Windchill: Look at them, they're so excited. Starscreamapillar: It seems to be Cantonese for 'Monster'. Knock Out: "Monster." thenightetc: Ahhh Knock Out: Or spirit, demon, and so on. Starscreamapillar: Why do they like the movie? thenightetc: They like music. agoodidstraction: ME agoodidstraction: gotta have candy Windchill: That's any sane person's reaction to seeing "CANDY" in big neon letters. Starscreamapillar: It is traditional to explode one's problems. agoodidstraction: ^ thenightetc: Is this the time? Starscreamapillar: Bleck. agoodidstraction: wow Windchill: Heh. thenightetc: It sounded like he was trying to say something, there thenightetc: But couldn't quite pronounce it thenightetc: Wasn't it night just a few minutes ago? Knock Out: I like how his voice bears a striking resemblance to Megatron's. Starscreamapillar: Indeed. agoodidstraction: yep Windchill: Is that a  Barbie car. Windchill: *Snickers.* Windchill: Me. Starscreamapillar: Yes, those department store guns. Starscreamapillar: Loaded department store guns. agoodidstraction: glug glug Windchill: Ugh. Thebes: snow shovels DO NOT WORK THAT WAY agoodidstraction: oh agoodidstraction: uhh agoodidstraction: ouch thenightetc: It's you! agoodidstraction: me when soundwave takes my soul Windchill: *Snickers.* Windchill: *Again.* thenightetc: Uhhhh, kid.... Windchill: Leaping Skeleton? agoodidstraction: primus Windchill: Called it. Starscreamapillar: Well, that looked painful. thenightetc: Maybe they're undead. thenightetc: Yes.  Mass hysteria. Starscreamapillar: 'Accidents'. There's a fair number of dead people that need to be accounted for. thenightetc: That explains all the monster corpses. Knock Out: "Moolah!" thenightetc: Ha! Thebes: because clearly, this is the big problem thenightetc: that's not a gift Windchill: "Nature's gifts." Starscreamapillar: He's not really wrong. Thebes: HEY MAYBE IF YOU EXPLAINED WHY NOT TO DO THOSE THINGS, LESS PEOPLE WOULD BE DEAD agoodidstraction: aw Knock Out: I like how he calls the old man "Baba." Starscreamapillar: Sorry does not raise the dead. thenightetc: Pfffffff thenightetc: Or rebuild everything they destroyed. Starscreamapillar: Matrix dust, now that is what raises the dead. thenightetc: "...Well, it's probably my fault" Windchill: I thought that was Dark Energon. Windchill: And Mad Science. Starscreamapillar: I wouldn't know, we do not have Dark Energon... Yet. thenightetc: How ominous? Windchill: There was a sequel. Thebes: Someone attempted to market them again. Violence ensued Knock Out: It's not terrible. We'll have to watch that one someday. agoodidstraction: please agoodidstraction: night everyone Knock Out: Goodnight, everyone. Thank you all for coming! thenightetc: Goodnight! Starscreamapillar: As always, that was weird, but enjoyable. Thank you for having us. thenightetc: Thank you for hosting!  This movie's a good time. Knock Out: My pleasure. Thebes: thank you! Windchill: *Another wave.*