#miyazaki noel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bangtanfancamp · 2 years

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𝙷𝚒 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜!

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚒 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 & 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙. 𝙻𝚘𝚕. 𝙸𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢, 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢, 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝟽 ✨ 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢e-- 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝚂𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚊:

•2022 has been a year of massive personal growth for me, and has been hallmarked by leaning into the shapeshifter mutability in myself that I have always been too scared to embrace. I’ve given myself room to really lean into my intellectual and spiritual curiosity and it has been so rewarding, but it has in fact, turned me into the person who will find a way to sneak in the question “when is your birthday?” in casual conversation so I can go home (if I wait that long) and do a deep dive into your natal chart but never tell you😂

•my only concrete goal this year was to try to turn our two bedroom apartment on the fringe of the city into a homey cottage fit for the shire if Hayao Miyazaki had animated it. I’ve made a ton of progress in the past 10 months! DIYing this space has been my biggest creative outlet this year and I’m so proud of it. I can share pics if you guys want to see. I document a good bit of it on TikTok but I’m still a sucker for still images.

•I just celebrated my birthday in October ! 🥳 each year that I age feels more and more like coming home to myself.

•After my unnecessarily dramatic hair saga last year, I am back at home as a brunette. Most of the blonde shattered its way up my hair strands and gave me a chemical cut I never asked for- BUT! - I spent lot of the year learning to be kinder to myself and dealing with complicated emotions tied up in the connection between my hair, my femininity and my self esteem. I got to play with box braids and extensions all summer before finally taking them all out this fall, coloring the brassy fragments on my ends back to black and rocking my now thick and healthy collarbone length hair. I gave myself some curtain bangs and thought “this fall will be my Kiki’s delivery service/ Howl pendragon era.” Turns out this is actually my Noel Fielding era. 😂 I realized last week that Yoongi and I essentially have two versions of the same haircut. After initially having a small crisis about it, I’m instead choosing to interpret as: I, too, am also hot like long haired min Yoongi. 😌 ( I know it’s a stretch. Just let me have it, okay? I need this.) I have also chosen to fully embrace the abundant amount of white hair that has become rampant in my roots this year. I started getting premature white hair at 17 and it has multiplied rapidly this year. Zack lovingly refers to it as my inner Targaryen becoming too strong to hide anymore, and as a diehard Daenerys Targaryen fan, I’ll take it. When I’m having a bad hair day, all the strands of white drape over the black like a frizzy cobweb, but on a good day, it looks pretty dope. I figure the sooner I embrace it, the sooner I have the worlds easiest Storm Halloween costume.

•Lizzie mcalpine and Delaney Bailey have dominated the biggest chunk of my non- K-pop music consumption this year.

•I’m really trying to lean into a soft version of seasonal living. It’s looked a lot like leaning into what feels right for my brain and body as my environment shifts, and for me, fall & winter have been notoriously difficult in the past. But in the last few months, I have been reminded that it is okay to go at my own pace. I rediscovered the benefits of sitting down to do little things and make with my hands. Working with my hands is incredibly grounding for me- it slows my mind and steadies my anxieties. And it makes my daily life more gentle when I have a homemade pastry waiting for me or a small project to enjoy making just for myself that isn’t for other people or their consumption. I’m looking forward to the slowness of fall as someone who’s mind usually races like summer. I’m looking forward to hosting my family’s thanksgiving for the first time and decorating for Christmas. Making stars out of paper or having pastry dough under my nails. I realized I wasn’t doing those small things for myself anymore. I became an artist who spent most of her time consuming other peoples art and forgetting to make my own. I forgot the way it can heal.

•I’ve started reading physical books again! For the past few years, I hadn’t found any that gripped me the way fics on this platform did, and I had so much trouble with my attention span and focus that I struggled to slow myself down enough to read books bound in paper. But this fall, I’ve stumbled on some gems and my gosh, I forgot the tranquility and relief of reading a proper paper novel. The Nature of Witches changed my life and I am currently devouring the invisible life of Addie LaRue. Also can we discuss how much softer on the eyes paper is ? My migraines have been so much less obnoxious and grateful for the break.

•I have become infatuated with the bookbinding TikTok and fell down a rabbit hole recently of people who hand bind their favorite fics into physical novels and I’d REALLY love to take a crack at it soon. With so many people deleting their work here (as is fully their right) there are so many stories that are so precious to me that I’d love to have on a shelf in my studio. And I secretly would love to do it for my own work too. It’s crazy when you realize that people really do supply us with novel length work for free here- it’s wild when you realize the word count of the average ya novel isn’t that different from your favorite multi-chapter fic

•like I mentioned earlier, I both terrified and over the moon to host Thanksgiving this year so if you have any tips, please help 😅 I’ve hosted two friendsgivings before but this will be a little different. Zack’s family is from the Philippines and have never had a traditional American thanksgiving and I’m stressing over impressing them. Thanksgiving is a huge thing filled with tradition for my family, but my grandmother who brought it to life for us passed in 2020. I’m planning to try to recreate her old recipes this year, which I think will be cathartic but will most likely also result in me crying my eyes out in a bowl of potatoes. Thanksgiving brings up a lot of complicated feelings for me because I LOVE the holidays but I have a lot really strongly toxic family power dynamics tied to that day (as I’m sure most of us do) and often the dread of those old things creates a stress in me that’s entirely disproportionate to what’s ACTUALLY happening in the present. My hope is to find a way to extract the beauty of that day and disconnect from the yucky things that still lurk around the edges. I’m excited to form new traditions but I’m still grieving the loss of the old. That version of thanksgiving will never exist again, and that’s hard for me. There are nasty things that I’m glad to see gone, but my stress lies in trying to preserve what was good without dragging the old toxicity into it. Dang, that’s a lot of pressure on some turkey and mashed potatoes 😅

•I won’t dive too much into this point too much because there’s still a lot I’m learning and nothing is concrete yet, but in this past year, Ive learned that there is a very strong chance that I’m neurodivergent. It’s been quite a ride for me. The way it makes certain parts of my story make so much more sense is crazy. It’s created the strangest relief and sense of grace to realize how absurd my expectations of myself have been with a brain that was never intended to do the things I tried to demand of it. Unfortunately, most the few people in my life that I’ve shared this information with have really failed to show up in helping me unpack it. It’s been disappointing but I’m so grateful to have discovered any of this at an age where I’m mature enough to know that their response says more of them than it does about me.

•2022 has been such a bittersweet year to be ARMY. There have been so many weird false starts and so much heavy news alongside such beautiful heartfelt messages from the boys and such amazing new content. So much confusion and deferred hope right alongside new beginnings and a wide open future that we’re all walking into together. All of it has made me mourn for myself but also cheer for them. I’m writing this with “astronaut” by Jin playing in my head on a loop, and it makes my heart soft- for him, for myself, for them, for all of us really. I am still so grateful for all the content they’ve given us. Honestly, I know they have released so much this year alone that I have fallen behind on and old content I haven’t yet watched. There will be plenty to occupy us in the magic shop these next few years. I already admired Namjoon, but this year has increased that tenfold. He has been so wise, so intelligent, so gracious and so brave. I’ve learned so much from him about it means to be an artist. What it means to grow as a person. How change is excruciating but necessary and how to find the beauty in it. His vulnerability breaks my heart and stitches it up all at once. I listen to his art Basel podcast episode constantly and the way he says “ (army) is really special” is etched on my heart permanently. Finding our way through the unknown is so scary, but we’re doing it together in a way and that is one the biggest gifts BTS has ever given us. I will always be grateful to them for it (and just a little bit more in love with them)💜

• And finally, i still have so, so many more stories to share: I’m just the slowest writer. I get so distracted by other projects that I can finish quicker than the monster fics I currently have drafted. 😅 I’m hoping to share an update post soon with the percentages of how close some of these are to being done and how far off others are. I actually tried to share my Jimin graduation fic just a few weeks ago, but after making all my massive annotations to it in tumblr, the app crashed and erased them all. I had to take a lap and cry about it before I could come back to share this. In fact, it did the same thing to me as I made this post today and it nearly broke my heart. Does this kind of crap happen on AO3? Cuz help. Lol. Anyway, should I maybe make shorter stories to share in the meantime? Or make these big fics into multi chapter ones instead? Idk. What do you guys think? I’m spending a lot of time working on my fantasy au Chosen by the moon and really loving where it’s going. I’m so proud of myself for crafting something with a big overarching plot since I usually just extrapolate the emotion of one small scene between two characters into an entire fic. What about you guys- what members and tropes are you wishing to see from me? What stories are you hoping to see finished and what new ones are you excited for? I’m really itching to write something fluffy and romantic but with magic 😛✨ also, do you guys care WHEN things are released- like thematically? Will you read a summer story at Christmas? or a witchy fic in November? Idk. Let a girl know :) lol.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Thank you to everyone who’s stuck around and every new that’s come to join us. If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. I hope you’re all having the best fall.

I love you !💕

#life update #2022 #I’m still here babies #happy to get back to writing #what are u all wanting to read?#my thoughts #Christiana✨

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