#modestyculture

[aparasaurus]

I am The Gay One in my friendship group, but there is also The Ace One Who Asks Us Awkward Questions About Sex Because She Constantly Feels The Need To Validate Her Sexuality, Because Western Culture Somehow Surrounds Sex But Also Makes It Taboo, By Making Sure She’s Not Crazy But What Does Being Horny Actually Feel Like? and I feel like that needs to be talked about more 

[unicorn-princess14]

New video on my channel! It's a convention announcement AND a rant about the double standards of modesty culture. If you like seeing me get mad... youl probably like this XD . . . . . . . #modesty #modestyculture #youtubevideo #unicornprincesschi #unicornprincesslife #unicornprincess #rant #conventionannouncement #comeseeme #deecon #dundee #art #kawaiiunicorn #plushies #freedom #idresshowiwant (at Dundee) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwURLmQHnhj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1012hn6gcbfcl

[sophiaspallino]

As women, we are unfairly ⁣ subjected to judgement ⁣ for choosing to modify ⁣ our bodies or abide naturally. 💉⁣ ⁣ As women, we are judged ⁣ for being both too prude ⁣ or for being too sensual. 💋 ⁣ ⁣ Are you empowered by ⁣ going natural or ⁣ glamming up? 💄 ⁣ ⁣ Are you empowered by ⁣ covering up or ⁣ showing more skin? 👙 ⁣ ⁣ I don't know about you, ⁣ but I am here for it all. ⁣ It just depends on my ⁣ mood and my intuition. 👁 ⁣ ⁣ Recently, a follower who ⁣ was scared of losing her job ⁣ for being “too sexy" on ig⁣ emailed me and asked for ⁣ advice, so I made a whole ⁣ podcast episode sharing ⁣ my perspectives on:⁣ ⁣ * embracing all facets of your diamond, even your sensuality ⁣ * feminine embodiment⁣ * the judgement of feminine sexuality⁣ * intentional modesty and being a “role model”⁣ * balancing being an “good” influence and being a “real” woman⁣ * handling male gaze and male-inflicted shame⁣ * choosing what to post or not post on social media⁣ * allowing God to guide us individually in what’s appropriate⁣ * balancing a professional and authentic image⁣ ⁣ So without further ado,⁣ #LetMeEnlightenYou 🕊 ⁣ ⁣ Tap on the link in my bio⁣ to subscribe to my show ⁣ #EnlightenedThePodcast⁣ on Apple Podcasts, Google,⁣ Spotify, or wherever else you ⁣ enjoy listening to podcasts! 🎙 ⁣ ⁣ -⁣ -⁣ -⁣ -⁣ -⁣ -⁣ -⁣ #QandA #QuestionAndAnswer #AdvicePodcast #ModestyCulture #ChristianLiving #GodIsGrey #ProgressiveChristianity #ProgressiveChristian #FeminineEmbodiment #Sensuality #Femininity #Feminine #DivineFeminine #SetYourselfFree #LifeAdvice #Spirituality #Intuition #SelfCare #SelfLoveAccount #StSimonsIsland (at St. Simons' Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2g2dlQghIk/?igshid=1fp4hdp2hpitu

[noshamemovement]

Bikinis are for honeymoons. Or so I was told as a child when I asked my mom why I couldn’t get a two-piece bathing suit like everyone else. “Only your husband should see your body like that. That’s the way God made it,” my mom told, continuing to fold the laundry. The assumption is absurd now, but then, at four or five, I shrugged and went back to wearing my Lion King one-piece without complaint. If God made my body - my abdomen, mind you in this scenario - for only my husband to see, who I was to argue?

Why I waited until I was 24 to buy my first bikini | Sarah Galo | Comment is free | The Guardian

[emf1947]

"Don’t get me wrong, I love modesty. I personally believe in being modest with my money, modest in how I talk, modest in how I act, and modest in what I wear. I’m a huge fan of this attribute. But when people talk about it on Facebook, they’re not talking about buying things you can’t afford or don’t need (immodesty with money), nor about bragging and excessive boasting (immodesty in language.) Nope. They are talking about skirt lengths for girls and sleeveless shirts on girls and tight-fitting clothing on girls. Because on Facebook, modesty is apparently solely a feminine virtue. (Which, by the way, ignites the raging-demon-ire in my very soul.)"

[ansilica]

I really don't like it when I complain about how hard it is to find shirts that aren't either turtle necks or really low-cut/designed to be layered and my mom says, "Well, there's nothing wrong with being modest." Not because I have a problem with her supporting me, because I don't, but I hate the implication that I do it out of some sort of moral imperative. I suppose the statement I quoted does not itself imply this, but she usually goes on to talk about how modesty doesn't seem to be very valued anymore.

I honestly don't do it because I value modesty in and of itself though- other people should feel free to wear low-cut things if they want to, and it works well for some people! But for me--I dunno if my boobs just aren't big enough or what--it seems like with most low-cut shirts, when I bend over, the shirt flops open in such a fashion that you can see the entirety of my boobs/bra. This completely defeats the purpose of me wearing a shirt and I personally am a little selective about who sees them. (And frankly, I can do without the comments/whispers that would likely bring.) That doesn't mean I think EVERYONE should care about this, though - it only goes as far as what I'm comfortable. 

[noshamemovement]

it’s that time of year again! a time of school-sanctioned body policing aimed at teenage girls.

yep, you guessed it: PROM!

students at  Manitowic High School complained about posters put up urging girls (or male dates?) to��“protect their characters”. 

sigh.

[noshamemovement]

No Shame Movement is hosting a Google hangout Q&A on sex ed! 

Tracie Gilbert, a sexuality educator, will answer questions related to basic anatomy, contraception/STD prevention, and gender issues. If you grew up receiving little to no sex education, or at the very least, a lot of misinformation, this discussion is for you!  You can start submitting your questions now, or the day of the event, and they will be answered on air.

Submit questions in 1 of 3 ways (anonymously if you prefer):

email (noshamemov@gmail.com), tumblr, or ask.fm

The on air hangout will stream live on Google+, Youtube,and on this site. You can follow along on Twitter using #NSMSexEd.

Please share the flyer above and spread the word!

[noshamemovement]

In this context [of modesty], my mind, heart, and all other faculties that speak to my human existence are absent. Instead, I am an exhibition to be judged by the masses, serving as a litmus test for being a potential "stumbling block" to my male counterparts.  On my shoulders rest men's potential to lust and the sex drives of all of the men that I will encounter during my lifetime. These men have their own perceptions of what is "alluring" as shaped by their upbringing, cultures, and biologies, all of which don't look the same by virtue of their individual personalities. My body is now a minefield and I ought to be careful of what I wear lest the threads that encase my person set off what was meant to be dormant.

I Don't Know What Modesty Is Anymore by Mary Ekaette

[noshamemovement]

Q&A with Dianna Anderson, author of Damaged Goods: A New Perspective on Christian Purity, which was released on Tuesday, Feb 10.

[noshamemovement]

let's call a spade a spade.

(via Emily Joy)

[noshamemovement]

awesome anti-modesty culture meme

(via Emily Joy)

[noshamemovement]

How Purity Culture Divorced Me From My Own Body

by Dianna E. Anderson

 (photo credit: Joshua Granderson via Flickr Creative Commons)

By the time I graduated high school, I was numb to the fact that I even had a body. I was so uncomfortable with anything that could potentially sexualize me that I wore training bras well into my college years – only buying “real” bras with actual cups and hooks when I was required to wear a strapless dress for my brother’s wedding. I never wore skirts or make-up, and my hair – down to the middle of my back by that point – was always held back in a ponytail and never styled.

I never wanted to do or wear things that identified me as particularly possessing a feminine body. I never struggled with my gender identity – instead, my struggle was a metaphysical one. I viewed myself as a soul happening to inhabit a meatsuit, and this meatsuit performed tasks that kept me alive. Nothing more. I strongly believe that the purity culture in which I was raised is the cause of this loose Gnosticism I created for myself.

Having a physical body – having a sexual body – was a matter of little consequence to me. Indeed, the idea that listening to my body, responding to it, getting to know it as an intimate part of myself, instead of simply a Jaeger-esque machine was unknown to me. I didn’t know how to listen to myself.

When men (always men) around church discussed struggles with lust, I could barely relate. “Yeah, I really wanted to hold hands with that one dude,” I’d think, knowing absolutely nothing of the electricity that comes with want to touch another person, even if it’s just their fingers. Such things were abstract for me.

Far from becoming the fleshly enemy Christian purity books asked me to wrestle, my body became something that merely existed on a plane separately from my self. I had a body, and, when the time came, I’m sure it would do the job required of it (meaning marriage and sex). I couldn’t picture myself ever enjoying a sexual experience because I didn’t know my own body well enough to communicate those thoughts to myself, much less any potential sexual partners.

 One of the most deeply intense experiences I ever had in my dating career happened within the first week of dating the man who would become my first ever boyfriend. I was twenty-five, and he invited me over to watch a movie and hang out (not a euphemism). We sat side by side on his couch, watching the 1970s thriller, Wait Until Dark. Like an awkward high school romance, I couldn’t decide what to do with my hands, so I just set one in my lap and one on the sofa next to me. He did the same.

 About twenty minutes before the end of the movie, with our hands inching ever closer, we linked pinky fingers. It was strange and weird and feels very hard to describe, but I felt like I never wanted that moment to end. It was like I was feeling and understanding my own body for the first time, recognizing how all my different muscles worked and connecting them to this thing that I call “I.” Something shifted within me and I wanted to know myself and my body as more than just a machine, but as a part of my wholeness as a person.

 The man I was dating was merely one in a chain of events that brought me back to myself, to an understanding of “me” as a sexual and physical being who exists as I am because of my lived, embodied experience, and not in spite of it. 

For ages, my flesh had been my enemy, a power to subdue and control. But once I stopped fighting my own flesh, once I allowed myself to experience and flow with the electricity my own body creates, I discovered an integrated, wholistic view of myself. I understood my own anxiety disorders better, was able to listen to what my body was telling me. What’s most important, though, was that I was able to stop fighting myself – with my flesh no longer my enemy, lust was suddenly no longer a problem. I could recognize attraction, assess it, and dismiss it just as easily. Natural bodily reactions were no longer a thing to be feared – rather, they could be understood and placed within their context.

[noshamemovement]

I wrote about modesty culture and the time in middle school when I got in trouble for growing taller.