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novafire-is-thinking · 11 days

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Medic, Maverick, Maniac, Murderer: Understanding Pharma

First thing’s first: I love Pharma, dearly.

In all the time I’ve spent evaluating his character, I’ve mainly focused on what can be worked out about who he is as an individual: his core sense of self, psychological drives, subjective worldview, etc.

When all else is stripped away, who is Pharma?

This treatise is the product of obsessing over Pharma, analyzing canon (and extras), and reading as many different perspectives on his character from fans across the fandom. The post is long, so for those of you who balk at the thought of reading a shortfic’s worth of Pharma thoughts, feel free to read the TL;DR (Conclusion) at the end and then decide if the full read is worth your time. Also, a premium reading experience is available in the form of the original Google Doc version.

As you read, keep in mind that this is primarily a mix of psychoanalysis, evidence-based examination, and speculation—not moral, ethical, or sociological commentary. The goal is to examine Pharma’s psychological drives and core values, and each of his appearances in the context of those. All other types of evaluation are up to readers.

Now, take your victim blaming-allergy meds (just in case); remove your black-and-white thinking caps; and leave your personal morality lenses at the door.

Psychological Drives & Core Values

Why does Pharma act the way he does? What gives him a reason to keep living? What are his personal priorities?

At the beginning of the Delphi arc, First Aid establishes Pharma as a “control freak” and someone who “thinks he’s an expert on everything.”

Now, First Aid has a habit of complaining about his bosses, but on both points, there’s canon evidence to back them both.

Expertise and Intellect

Throughout the Delphi and Luna 1 arcs, it’s established that Pharma is a skilled and brilliant doctor.

He once performed a 4-way fuel pump transplant, donating his own fuel pump in the process. (see above panel)

Later, he invented a soundbomb that left an echo laced with a virus and invented an antidote to that virus:

And on Luna 1, he was on the edge of finding a cure for Cybercrosis, based on the fact that Swerve was able to formulate a cure from his notes.

More than being a doctor, Pharma lives for intellectual and scientific achievement as a physician scientist. He feels most alive when he’s able to solve complex medical problems, and when his achievements are recognized by those whose opinion he considers important.

This is Pharma’s 'why.'

And even though he’s arrogant and enjoys praise, it’s not his primary motivation. He doesn’t need it in order to set his mind to whatever he’s interested in, although he’ll seek it from those he values most (i.e. Ratchet).

Pharma sees himself as less of a doctor, and more as a scientific innovator or medical maverick. The practice of medicine is primarily a catalyst for his creativity and intellect; it’s not an end in and of itself like it is for someone like Ratchet or First Aid.

First Aid’s observation of Pharma can be better phrased as, “[Pharma] thinks he’s an expert on everything medical”—because he’s not so driven by achievement and admiration that he’ll grovel at the feet of strangers and get good at something he doesn’t personally find interesting. The only time we see him express a desire for praise is when he’s around Ratchet—someone he holds in high regard for both personal and professional reasons. This makes sense since Ratchet is one of the only people who can give Pharma any kind of competition within what he considers to be his area of expertise.

“Each day we go to our work in the hope of discovering—in the hope that some one, no matter who, may find a solution of one of the pending great problems—and each succeeding day we return to our task with renewed ardor; and even if we are unsuccessful, our work has not been in vain, for in these strivings, in these efforts, we have found hours of untold pleasure, and we have directed our energies to the benefit of mankind.” —Nikola Tesla

Ego

Without question, Pharma has an inflated ego, but having an inflated sense of self doesn’t automatically mean a person is a full-blown narcissist or that they are totally uncaring.

Every personality trait exists on a spectrum. Yes, Pharma is arrogant, but the presence of arrogance doesn’t automatically and completely cancel out all “positive” traits. (For fun, check out studies on Dark Tetrad and Light Triad personality traits.)

People are complex. Arrogance can coexist with genuine kindness, ruthlessness can coexist with deep compassion, etc.

Whether Pharma exhibits genuine kindness is up to each reader’s interpretation of what little canon material exists, but the point is: Pharma’s arrogance doesn’t automatically rule out the possibility of authentic “positive” traits.

Controlling Tendencies

Pharma is comfortable pulling the power card and using it to dump what he sees as uninteresting parts of medical practice on those below him:

“So Fisitron’s writing about the Wreckers’ elbows now, is he?” said Delphi’s Chief Medical Officer. “Come on, First Aid - get to it. You’ve got a Fader in Row 2 downstairs.” He squeezed the air with his finger and thumb. “He’s about this far from shutdown.” —from Bullets by James Roberts

However, there’s nothing in canon indicating he’s power-hungry in a megalomaniacal sense. He’s not Starscream or Megatron; he doesn’t seek political or social power. In fact, he seems perfectly happy hiding away in a lab or medibay by himself so he can direct all his energy to solving issues and achieving the so-called ‘impossible’ within the field of medicine:

The ways in which Pharma exercises power and control are through his expertise, and his administrative/management skills. That’s it.

Self-confidence

Pharma’s arrogance and controlling tendencies don’t seem to be a mask—like he’s trying to compensate for some sense of lack (in those areas). Yes, he fears failure, and yes, he displays some insecurity when Ratchet questions his competence. But at every other point and in every other way, Pharma is unapologetically self-confident. He’s fully self-assured of his intellectual prowess and problem-solving capabilities; he knows what he knows, and he also knows what he doesn’t know.

Pharma’s arrogance and desire for control don’t stem from a hidden lack of confidence or a hunger for power on its own. They stem from the fact that he genuinely sees himself as the best person for the work he does. He trusts himself above anyone else to solve problems that come his way—medical or otherwise (within limits).

Elitism vs. Superiority

I’ve always read Pharma as having an elitist attitude, but not in the social stratification sense:

elitist (adj.) relating to or supporting the view that a society or system should be led by an elite.

There’s no evidence that Pharma believes an elite class of people should hold the most power. Instead, Pharma’s “elitism” is actually an individualistic sense of superiority. It’s centered on him alone, and is tied to his capabilities as a physician scientist and surgeon.

Pharma sees himself as the best of the best and makes sure everyone knows it—sometimes through his words, but mostly by his conduct in the field of medicine. This, paired with Pharma’s natural temperament, doesn’t exactly make him socially popular—inside or outside of medicine:

One could argue that the “personality” Lockdown is referring to was a result of all Pharma had suffered at Delphi and Luna 1, but just as easily, one could argue he was always a bit difficult to get along with, and that his traumatic experiences merely magnified his already-present psychological patterns. Personally, I like the latter interpretation because it’s a flaw that makes Pharma a more interesting character no matter his mental state.

Everyone reacts differently to real and perceived social rejection. Some are so concerned about it that they’ll try anything to belong; others genuinely don’t care, and they continue as usual; and still others cope by shifting their mindset and developing a sense of pride in being an outsider.

There’s no evidence for this in canon, but I believe it’s within reasonable characterization boundaries to headcanon Pharma as being in the second or third category.

With either of those two mindsets, a sense of superiority can develop, or even be an inciting factor. Either someone sees themselves as genuinely superior to the majority and doesn’t mind when this alienates them from people, or they convince themselves they’re superior because the pain of accepting they were rejected for who they are is too much to handle.

Whatever the case, the point is, having an “elitist” attitude isn’t necessarily rooted in a sociological or ideological belief. Sometimes, individuals just see something in themselves that—to them—justifies a sense of personal superiority. A quick glance at Pharma’s canon appearances makes it clear he holds such a view of himself, at least to some degree.

Morality and Compassion

When Pharma first shows up in canon, he’s working at the New Institute. A lot of questionable things took place there on a regular basis—things Pharma would have been aware of, to some degree. However, his presence at the Institute doesn’t automatically mean he agreed with everything happening. Depending on how strongly someone feels about something, some people are content to disagree in silence. Not everyone who seeks employment considers it a priority that the establishment they work for aligns perfectly with their moral values. After all, there are other reasons to take a job: financial benefits, exclusive educational and career opportunities, pure convenience, etc.

I’m not here to say either way whether Pharma’s willingness to turn a blind eye to the events at the New Institute was wrong or right; that’s up to each reader to decide for themselves. However, Pharma’s choice to remain employed at the Institute for some time can say something about him as a character: his priority as a doctor and person is not to take care of everyone he encounters, or to act as some kind of moral or ethical authority.

This isn’t to say Pharma won’t ever stand up for something he regards as right or push back against something he sees as wrong, “off screen.” It’s just that everything in canon points more to a tendency to choose his battles instead of acting immediately on any moral sense the way someone like Optimus or Ratchet might.

This also isn’t to say Pharma doesn’t care about saving lives, but from what little is shown of him before Delphi, it’s hard to say how much he cared. Ratchet confirms later that Pharma was an excellent doctor for most of his life, but all that tells us is he was an excellent doctor; it says nothing about his internal attitude toward his work or patients.

However, inferences can be made based on doctors in our own world:

Being a doctor—especially one in trauma care—is far from easy. It takes a lot out of a person, and there are very few people who last in the profession for a long time. Most medical professionals fall into one of the following categories:

People possessing a strong will that’s coupled with an unwavering passion for taking care of others (the public’s favorite)

People who naturally have, or develop, an ability to switch their empathy off and on at will, or build walls around it—also possessing a strong will (the ideal)

People who naturally have a limited capacity for empathy (the one the public hates to acknowledge)

People with a strong social and professional support system (the necessary, but underutilized and underappreciated factor)

Of course, even if a person has one or more of the above, burnout can and does still happen, but individuals who have at least one have the best chances of surviving and thriving amidst the demands of the majority of medical professions.

As far as is shown in canon, Pharma never had a strong support system—either circumstantially or by choice—so something else was keeping him in medicine.

Pharma shows concern for both Tumbler (Chromedome) and Hubcap:

But even though he obviously cared enough to step in, neither instance makes a strong case for a capacity for empathy beyond the “average” or “norm.” Performing a job well is a lot different from being personally invested in the work.

Based on everything up to this point, and this later comment from Pharma, about Ratchet…

…Pharma has probably never shared the same I-care-about-everything-and-everyone view of the world. Instead, it’s more likely that Pharma holds a more rational view of his work and patients.

One of the first things learned in medicine, especially in trauma medicine, is that you can’t help or save everyone, and to hold yourself to that standard can destroy you quickly if you have a certain temperament or lack healthy boundaries for your empathy.

“There are times when it may seem as though I view sick or injured people not as living, breathing humans with feelings and emotions and people who love them, but simply as cases, as problems to be solved. And that is absolutely true. It's not that I don't have empathy, but the hard fact is that as a doctor, and especially as a trauma surgeon, too much empathy can get in the way of your job and cause you to make decisions based not on sound medical judgment but on your own emotions. Sure, I've seen things that even years later can still make me choke up when I think of them: a little girl shot and killed, a shattered young Marine who shouldn't have died but did. But you can't choke up in the ER or the operating room. To be effective as a trauma surgeon, you have to put a layer of Kevlar around your heart.” —Dr. Peter Rhee, Trauma Red: The Making of a Surgeon in War and in America’s Cities*

Pharma may have learned this difficult truth earlier than Ratchet and developed a practical way of managing his empathy that comes across as “cold.” He may have always had an ability to put up walls around his spark. Or, he may have always had little to no capacity for empathy.

The fact that the morality lock on Tyrest’s portal prevented Pharma from passing through proves he felt guilty for what he’d done, and JRO confirmed this. Therefore, it’s safe to assume Pharma had some level of empathy for his former patients, suffering moral injury when he felt he had no other option but to start killing them.

Still, looking at Pharma’s psychological drives and his behavior throughout canon, it’s clear compassionate care and morality are subordinate to his other values and interests.

*I highly recommend this book, and learning about Dr. Rhee in general. He’s a huge inspiration of mine, and one of my main sources of inspiration when writing Pharma. Level-headed and capable, strong-willed, selectively empathetic, an excellent scientist, etc. He lives for the thrill of practicing medicine both on the floor and as an expert in his field who pushes trauma medicine to new heights through his research. He also takes great pride in his hands. Seriously—the man spent an entire paragraph and a half talking about his “good hands” and how they were one of two reasons he decided to go into trauma surgery. The other reason was that he “liked action and excitement, liked the feeling of being able to walk into a tough situation and take control.” (Sounds familiar…)

Delphi

First thing’s first: we don’t know how much Pharma did or didn’t know about the DJD before agreeing to take the Delphi assignment.

That far into the war, he would have known something about the DJD and their ways of terrorizing traitors and Autobots, but for whatever reason, he took the assignment anyway. Perhaps Prowl assured him the situation on Messatine would be monitored and that the security team would be enough. Perhaps he underestimated the DJD’s capabilities, or scale of territory, and thought he would be able to handle things on his own. Perhaps Prowl gave him no choice. Maybe it was all of these and more.

Whatever the case, according to JRO, Pharma didn’t hate Delphi before the incident with the DJD.

Word of god remains a touchy subject in fandom, but in this case, it’s important because it says two things:

The DJD left the Delphi medical team alone for some time.

Being on the edges of DJD territory didn’t automatically mean isolation and harassment by their hand.

On the second point, First Aid was free to come and go from Messatine as he pleased, seeing as he attended a medical conference at Kimia five years into his assignment at Delphi:

Five years ago [mid-Delphi assignment], the leader of the Wreckers had cornered him at a medical conference at Kimia, the space station that doubled as a weapons research facility. —from Bullets

And five years after that, he was able to not only contact Springer without delay about one of Agent 113’s bullets he’d discovered in an Autobot badge…

He raced upstairs to his computer terminal and typed in a certain frequency code for the second time in his life. A face appeared on the screen and grinned. “It’s me,” said First Aid. “And you're never gonna guess what I’ve got for you..!”

…but he was also able to meet up with Springer to hand off the bullet:

“Your friend has a funny way of making contact,” First Aid had said when he’d got in touch three days earlier, and he was right.

It’s not known if this handoff happened on or off world, but either way, the DJD didn’t interfere.

At some point, Tarn set his sights on Pharma and the Delphi team. Knowing the DJD, one can only imagine what Tarn used to show off his team’s capabilities and convince Pharma the best option was to cooperate.

In striking a deal with Tarn to keep the DJD away from Delphi, Pharma established his territory and ensured his continued security and the safety of his staff. As long as Tarn got his T-cogs, Pharma could continue on in relative peace. He could work his magic on bots that ended up at Delphi, carry out his management duties, and work on whatever projects or research he may have been conducting in his free time.

For whatever reason, after he first came into contact with Tarn, Pharma didn’t call for help. Communications were still operational, as Pharma wouldn’t have suggested contacting High Command about the Duobots if the team was aware of any comm malfunctions:

Also, First Aid later confirms that communications were fine until the Big Bang (soundbomb detonation):

It’s always possible the DJD was monitoring the radio waves, but secure subspace frequencies exist, such as the Datalog Network First Aid used to send the datalog containing the death statistics:

Speaking of which, assuming First Aid sent the datalog with the statistics right when things started to get ‘weird,’ and before the Big Bang shut down comms, it only took—at most—a few days for them to reach Ratchet and Swerve on the Lost Light:

But back to Pharma not calling for help: for all of Prowl’s intel, contingency planning, and fretting over the security of Autobot territories, I find it hard to believe he would have stuck an Autobot medical team on the fringes of DJD territory without giving them some means of securely contacting the outside in case of issues.

But even if Prowl didn’t give Pharma a secure way to contact him or anyone else, and even if Pharma was convinced the DJD was monitoring regular communications, there were other ways he could have reached out for help. After all, the team wasn’t alone on Messatine. Like Pharma said, Prowl continued to send bots to defend the nucleon mines:

The Autobots had been mining nucleon for millions of years at this point, so I doubt the mined nucleon was just sitting in storage on Messatine; shipments of the stuff would have been sent off-world to wherever the Autobots needed it. Why not send a message for Prowl with someone leaving with one of those shipments? A message meant only to be sent over a call when absolutely certain they were out of range of the DJD’s potential monitoring.

Or, why not order in off-world medical supplies and send a message back with the delivery bot(s)?

There are two possible answers to this. One takes into account JRO’s word on the subject; the other is more intricate and speculative on my part, but it leads to the same place. So whatever your stance is on the validity of word of god, there’s an answer for you.

Answer one (word of god)

Simple as that. Pharma was aware of the scope of the DJD’s capabilities and relentlessness, and determined he was trapped prey.

Answer two (no word of god)

There are a few possible reasons Pharma didn’t call for help right away:

He was convinced all his other options would take too long and/or would still lead to him being put under suspicion. After all, being found to have harvested even a single T-cog from an already-dead patient for the DJD could have raised concerns that would lead to Pharma being investigated and/or having a mark put on his record.

He underestimated the severity of Tarn’s addiction, and was certain he could keep up with the T-cog demand without resorting to other means of harvesting, not realizing Tarn’s quota would increase later on.

He was already paranoid as a result of whatever mind games Tarn had set in motion at their first meeting, making Pharma think escape was futile.

Word of god or no word of god, there are clear reasons as to why Pharma ended up trapped. Most likely, it was a mix of all of the above.

Whatever was going on in Pharma’s mind before, he ended up in deeper trouble. Tarn increased his demand for T-cogs, and Pharma couldn’t keep up. By the time this happened, even if he had wanted to call for help, it was too late to do so without implicating himself. He reasoned his only option was to start killing patients to harvest their T-cogs.

Soon, Pharma was so consumed with fretting over whether he’d be able to meet Tarn’s next demand that he didn’t have time or freedom to do anything else except worry and feel guilty. His whole life revolved around Tarn’s addiction; he was no longer in control, and could no longer enjoy whatever it was about Delphi he’d previously enjoyed. Perhaps the facility itself enabled Pharma to research cures and perform scientific miracles of medicine.

Being at the mercy of Tarn—convinced the DJD would find him no matter what—would have been pure psychological torture on its own, but also knowing that any small chance he did have of getting help would end in him losing everything would have added to his suffering. Pharma became desperate to reclaim control over his life and began planning an escape.

Now, JRO has said that Pharma didn’t originally plan to use the rust plague on the DJD…but canon says otherwise:

Of course, Pharma could have been lying to make himself look better in Ratchet’s view, but based on everything he’d been through up to this point with Tarn, it’s more likely he was telling the truth and had tried to eliminate the source of his suffering first. After all, wiping out the DJD would have been the simpler, cleaner option.

When the Duobots refused to detonate the soundbomb near the DJD, Pharma’s objectives shifted. He had to get Delphi shut down in a way that would:

Convince the DJD the shutdown was legitimate.

Pharma knew chances of escaping the DJD at all were slim to none, but he was desperate. Getting Delphi shut down would cut off Tarn’s supply of T-cogs and allow Pharma to escape Tarn’s immediate control, but the shutdown had to be “legitimate” to prevent Tarn from retaliating and hunting him down later. Leaving Tarn even the slightest chance of regaining control was too risky, so Pharma had to make sure his plan was as airtight as possible.

Cover up the patient murders.

If the truth got out about Pharma killing patients, he’d lose his medical license and most likely be put away for life. Being cut off from the practice of medicine and his intellectually stimulating work as a doctor would mean losing more than a job and a reputation. It would mean losing everything in which he’d anchored his sense of identity and life’s meaning. His refusal to consider any other options wasn’t just about ego and preserving his image as an excellent doctor; it was about preserving any kind of meaningful future he saw for himself.

Pharma needed a plan that would fulfill all of the above. Turning the engineered virus on the medical facility was the most effective and efficient solution. Anything else would have made him suspicious in the view of either Autobot High Command or the DJD, and neither of those would have ended well for him.

Because of his goal to preserve his reputation and future in medicine, he couldn’t even risk revealing anything to First Aid or Ambulon, who would have seen to his ruin. They became nothing more than loose ends that had to be tied up, and based on the fact that Pharma only prepared one vial of the vaccine, his original plan involved him being the only survivor:

He probably would have had no problem making more of the vaccine for anyone else who survived, but he wasn’t counting on it. He wanted a totally clean slate; in letting his staff die with most of his patients, he would be getting rid of any and all evidence and reminders of his failures. He may have cared about First Aid and Ambulon before things got bad, but somewhere along the way, he decided either it wasn’t worth it to go through the trouble of finding a way to save them without raising suspicion, or he didn’t want to risk them putting together the pieces later on.

Of course, when Ratchet showed up, plans changed.

Ratchet

Ratchet is not the kind of person who seeks first to understand or be understanding. He’s inclined to trust what’s in front of him over anything abstract, and tends to look at the results of someone’s actions over trying to find any kind of ‘why’ behind them. Also, unlike Pharma, he operates from a strong moral sense, and reacts quickly and strongly when something or someone goes against that internal moral sense.

Ratchet’s reaction to finding out what Pharma did may seem hasty and harsh, but it makes perfect sense on a human level. There is no such thing as unconditional love; everyone has personal and moral lines (boundaries), and they’re different for each individual. When the most rigid of lines is crossed, that’s it; walls go up and the offender is cut off, no matter how strong the relationship may have been.

Ratchet obviously knew Pharma well enough to think he could try talking some sense into him, but then Pharma revealed that he’d crossed one of Ratchet’s lines: murdering patients. Any willingness Ratchet may have had to try to understand vanished. By the time Pharma started trying to provide a ‘why’ for his actions, Ratchet’s moral judgment had already shut down any chance of understanding what could have possibly led Pharma to kill patients. It didn’t help that Pharma seemed totally unapologetic and outright proud of his plan. For Ratchet, the ‘why’ didn’t matter anymore. What he saw was what he trusted, and what he saw was a friend who’d become his idea of a monster.

Now, Ratchet and Pharma’s relationship is one of the most confusing IDW relationships I’ve had the pleasure and pain of dissecting.

It is notoriously difficult to determine the depth and strength of a relationship from the outside. However, I’ve decided to go ahead and address it anyway because it has the potential to provide insight into Pharma as an individual.

If I were to sum up Pharma and Ratchet’s relationship in a single word, I would use “ambivalent.” The first time I read MTMTE, the thing that stood out to me most about their relationship was the drastic differences between how they each perceived the relationship.

In one sense, there’s the idea of Pharma basically being Ratchet’s crazy stalker ex, which is tossed around in fandom a lot. While I personally dislike seeing it regardless of context (yes, even as a joke), I do see how JRO’s writing choices set things up in a way that makes it easy to superimpose that trope.

In another sense, there’s the idea that Pharma and Ratchet were always close friends, and that what happened at the end of the Delphi story was a betrayal of both sides that came out of nowhere and whose consequences were taken too far.

I disagree with both. Personally, what I see at the end of the Delphi story isn’t an obsessed ex gone mad, a sudden betrayal, or a badly executed backstabbing. What I see is a breakdown of an already-complicated and poorly-maintained relationship: true feelings being revealed, long-repressed bitterness being forced to the surface, carefully-hidden cracks being split wide open.

Most people don’t have an accurate understanding of how much or how little they truly know the people in their lives, often overestimating how well they know a person until something surfaces and blindsides them.

According to JRO, Ratchet was oblivious to Pharma’s romantic interest, and throughout canon, it’s easy to see Pharma was more invested in the relationship than Ratchet ever was.

The question is, did Ratchet ever care about Pharma at all? And if so, to what degree?

Yes, Ratchet calls Pharma “buddy” and “friend,” but the former was sarcastic, and the latter means something different to each person. Also, in light of the circumstances, Ratchet could have just been saying “friend” in response to Pharma saying it—an emotional appeal more than anything.

However, Pharma must have been aware of Ratchet’s lack of relational investment because during the confrontation at Delphi, Pharma’s first reaction wasn’t to appeal to their friendship (ex: “But you know me!”). Instead, he appealed to their shared profession:

Then there’s the exchange of insults:

This is what I meant earlier by “true feelings being revealed.” Ratchet may have just been trying to match Pharma’s insult, but it’s unlikely it was merely reciprocal because while Ratchet is snarky at times, he’s sincere in that snark. There’s almost always some truth in his verbal jabs no matter how unserious they seem, and he’s never cruel for cruelty’s sake.

So, if Pharma saw Ratchet as an inferior doctor, and Ratchet saw Pharma as an inferior Autobot…it’s reasonable to assume there was always some deep-rooted competition and conflict preventing them from being super close.

Possible suspicion surrounding Pharma’s conduct as an Autobot paired with a tendency to misjudge the nuances of relationships could explain why Ratchet was so quick to decide Pharma was a lost cause. Maybe Pharma’s actions at Delphi confirmed something from the past that Ratchet had brushed off for whatever reason.

In any case, Ratchet seems to have been largely unaffected by the Pharma he found at Delphi. While leaving Messatine, he emphasizes that he’ll miss Pharma’s talent.

Not “who he used to be.”

Not “what we used to have.”

Just…“his talent.”

Later, on Luna 1, Pharma mentions that he and Ratchet were inseparable, but that could mean a few different things:

Best case scenario: Pharma and Ratchet sought each other out on equal terms.

Worst case scenario: Pharma followed Ratchet around.

Somewhere in the middle: the job forced Pharma and Ratchet to work in close proximity most of the time, and while Pharma intentionally ran into Ratchet more often than necessary, Ratchet also sought out Pharma every now and then.

Whatever the case, working with someone every day doesn’t tell you anything about who they are as a person, and the amount of time spent with someone doesn’t automatically correlate to how deep the relationship is or how well the people know each other. It’s not like either Pharma or Ratchet are shown to be good at expressing their personal feelings outside of extreme circumstances.

Ratchet does bring up late-night conversations of the past:

But while this indicates there was something deeper between him and Pharma, because neither of them were ever shown to be super open with their true feelings, it’s unlikely the conversations were full of touchy-feely talk. In all likelihood, the conversations were mostly medicine and war-related, with the rare spark-to-spark talk sprinkled in. Also, considering everything up to this point, one has to wonder if those talks ever meant anything to Ratchet, or if he was just digging for something that might stall Pharma’s torture.

Maybe those late-night conversations did mean something to Ratchet, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t take the bait. He knew Ratchet was trying to stall by making an emotional appeal, and perhaps he was convinced the conversations hadn’t meant that much to Ratchet.

Looking at all of this, it’s hard to believe Ratchet ever cared about Pharma as more than an interesting work friend. But even if he had cared more than he let on, it wasn’t enough to overcome the doubts he had about Pharma’s character.

As for whether Pharma truly cared about Ratchet, I’m convinced he did, but in a mostly unhealthy way, and with a strong undercurrent of one-sided rivalry. At some point, Ratchet had been an equal and a source of challenge, and he probably listened to Pharma pretty often. It’s reasonable to assume Ratchet was one of the only people—if not the only person—able to handle Pharma’s intense temperament and challenge him in a meaningful way, providing some semblance of friendship for Pharma.

However, one last thing that stands out is that, when telling Ratchet why he’s torturing him, Pharma didn’t say anything like, “Because you hurt me” or “Because you turned against me—your friend.” Instead, he said it was for “ruining things at Delphi” and because “you declared war on my body.”

Either Pharma wasn’t being entirely honest, or Ratchet’s friendship didn’t mean as much in the first place as he’d previously implied. It’s possible the ‘Because you hurt me’ was implied in “for ruining things back at Delphi,” but why not say it outright? Perhaps it was a fear of vulnerability and admitting there was ever a relational need at all.

At the end of the day, it’s difficult to say for certain how close Pharma and Ratchet were, but it’s clear they were never on the same page and there were always barriers between them.

Luna 1

Revisiting the matter of Pharma’s morality taking a backseat to other priorities, his time on Luna 1 further underscores this. Again, Pharma chooses his battles and is unwilling to put himself at great risk for the sake of others, but a closer look at the situation with Tyrest reveals there wasn’t really anything he could have done for the Cold Construct population even if he had wanted to. It would have been him against Tyrest, an army of Legislators, and a bunch of Decepticons. Pharma knew his limits, and seeing as his goal was self-preservation, it was perfectly rational for him to go along with Tyrest’s grand scheme.

Besides, it doesn’t look like he was given much of a choice:

Although, knowing Pharma, he still would have demanded to know beforehand what he would get in return for the pain, and evidently, Tyrest held up his end of the deal since Pharma had access to the Luna 1 tech collection.

As for Tyrest’s plan to wipe out the Cold Construct population, there’s nothing indicating Pharma’s decision to turn a blind eye to it was rooted in malevolence or bigotry—just rational apathy: ‘I can’t stop Tyrest, so why concern myself with the outcome?’

Again, you can’t save everyone; Pharma had all he could do to save himself.

But it wasn’t all horrible. I would even go so far as to say Pharma found some happiness on Luna 1. Tyrest didn’t care about him, but he didn’t need Tyrest to care. Everyone else there hated him, but he didn’t need to feel like he belonged or was admired. At this point, Pharma’s only interest was Tyrest’s Luna 1 tech collection, and that meant playing nice so he could keep his reward. Back at Delphi, he probably assumed he’d never again practice medicine the way he’d loved; being brought to Luna 1 was an unexpected, yet welcome, second chance.

Even so, Pharma had his moments of cruelty. Back at Delphi, he had easily-identifiable reasons to kill patients—both the ones whose T-cogs he harvested and the 20 more he tried to kill when he shot the life support machine. But on Luna 1, he had no reason to be cruel, yet he chose to be. By this point, he’d mastered the ability to almost completely ignore or subdue his conscience.

In the case of Ratchet’s torment, one could argue Pharma only drew it out for retaliation purposes; it was personal for him.

As for cutting Ambulon in half, it was obviously meant to be as gruesome as possible, yet also quick. But personally, I don’t think it was about Ambulon; it was more about hurting Ratchet. Due to the fact that Ratchet’s identity is wrapped up in his compassion and his ability to be helpful as a doctor, one of the most effective acts of revenge would be to do something that makes him feel utterly helpless.

Also I wonder if, subconsciously or consciously, Pharma was attempting to recreate the sense of helplessness he felt back at Delphi under Tarn’s watch: “Do you see, Ratchet? Do you now understand how it feels to have control ripped out of your hands? To be totally helpless?”

Next, for some reason, Pharma was invested in the promised execution of Getaway and Skids:

He had no personal connection to either of them that would give him a reason to be interested, so maybe Tyrest told him he could perform the execution and/or have the corpses for medical experimentation. Either way, Pharma would have had a chance to use some of the tech in Tyrest’s tech collection, possibly explaining his excitement.

Of course, any chance of an execution disappeared when the final showdown went wrong.

When Pharma tried to escape to Cyberutopia and discovered he couldn’t pass through the spacebridge forcefield, he gave up. He’d been caught; he would no longer have access to Tyrest’s tech collection; Ratchet and every other self-righteous Autobot would never forgive him; and the morality lock prevented him from escaping. By all appearances, he would never again be able to engage in that which gave him a sense of meaning. He had shrunken his world down to his obsessive interest in a specialized field and one significant, yet unrequited relationship. With both of these lost, his world collapsed.

Yes, guilt played a part in Pharma’s despondency, but because he seems to have been in denial of said guilt, it’s more likely his despair was primarily due to the fact that he saw no future for himself. He had nothing left to live for.

In light of this, Pharma’s flippant comments to First Aid make sense. He wasn’t being insensitive as much as he was goading First Aid. Pharma’s not stupid. First Aid had a massive rotary cannon on him, and Pharma knew exactly which emotional buttons to push to get him to pull the trigger.

Pharma wanted to die.

Adaptus

First, let me emphasize that Adaptus did not take possession of Pharma’s body. Instead, Pharma was the unwelcome guest:

How Pharma ended up in Adaptus’ new body is a mystery, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t pass on to the Allspark. Whether or not he had a choice can only be speculated.

First Aid had blasted Pharma’s head clean off, so whatever happened must have been related to the spark. Perhaps some residual spark energy was trapped in a body part that Adaptus repurposed, leaving Pharma tethered to the new body unwillingly.

Still, Pharma managed to assert his will and override Adaptus for a brief moment. Considering Adaptus was basically a god, this is impressive.

Based on Adaptus’ surprise at being interrupted, it seems he didn’t know Pharma was there. Why Pharma hadn’t tried to assert himself sooner is a mystery. Maybe Adaptus’ scheme was entertaining; maybe Pharma actually liked the company; or maybe he’d been waiting for an opportunity to get revenge on Tyrest for everything done to him back at Luna 1.

Sure enough, just like with Ratchet back on Luna 1, Pharma’s vengeful streak came out as soon as there was an opportunity.

Unfortunately for him, this left him vulnerable, and Tyrest took advantage of the confusion:

Conclusion

When someone reduces their world to narrow personal interests and one or a few very special people, their grip tightens around what little they have. They often become obsessive and possessive of the few things that make them feel alive, and their view of the world becomes increasingly more subjective and detached from the outside world. Pharma seems to have fallen into this trap.

Even so, in the context of the circumstances, several of the decisions he made were rational—even if coldly so. Oftentimes, “extreme” rationality and self-preservation are villainized in fiction, and characters like Pharma who don’t automatically put themselves at great risk for anyone and everyone are villainized, or at least looked down on. Their choices are often regarded as less human, but rationality and self-preservation are just as human as compassion and self-sacrifice.

Ultimately, Pharma was trapped and pushed over the edge into “insanity” by Tarn’s cruelty, but his own choices made from a place of pride determined how he fell, and how far he fell. It was a perfect storm of Tarn’s mind games and Pharma’s intellectual arrogance, excessive self-confidence, obsessive nature, and stubborn grip on the kind of future he wanted for himself.

Pharma is yet another Icarus who flew too close to the sun and paid dearly for it, and while JRO/the narrative could have given this Icarus better wings, that doesn’t change the fact that he chose to fly so high.

***

Many thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this monster of a post.

-tosses a Rodimus Star at you-

#look who finally finished this thing #idw transformers #idw1 #maccadam #MTMTE #lost light #idw pharma #pharma #tf idw character analysis #tf idw meta #dr. fancy hands #nova’s nerding out again

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eetherealgoddess · 19 days

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TR: ꨄYANDERE HEADCANONSꨄ

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, & Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader

Characters are 18+

❦We already know that these mfs have a crazy streak to them. That’s why we love them :) ❦

❣︎A lil gift for my unpredictability. Hopefully I’ll get to some of the pending requests soon. If not, just know that i love youuuu <3

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR & AO3 UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Mikey: Manjiro Sano, publicly known as Mikey, has been your favorite, famous racer since you found him unexpectedly on social media a couple years ago. You’ve never really been into the motorcycle scene until you saw the attractive blonde when swiping through your for you page.

You’ve even gone out of your way to visit him at the different raceways and arenas he’s raced at, cheering him on from afar along with the crowd’s roars. Although your passion for him was strong, you knew that you were nothing but a mere fan out of numerous supporters. An extra in his show.

What you failed to notice is that for the first time he noticed you was during the end of the first race you attended as he slowly paused in front of the crowd who cheered his name. As he observed with a genuine smile, you seemed to have caught his attention. As he eyed you, the energy you radiated as you applauded the short man caused him to envision his deceased older brother, along with the rest of his family who stood beside the visualization of Shinichiro.

During this time, you could’ve sworn you made eye contact before he swiftly turned away, slightly giddy at the smile you might have received.

Unknown to you Mikey’s fixation on you continues to intensify, his behavior towards you becoming incredibly invasive as well as a distant attachment forming to the idea of you. He begins to monitor your every move on social media, watching your every update and interaction with others. As his attraction deepens, he becomes determined to keep you close and under his control, going to great lengths to ensure you remain in his presence.

You were excited when you received a private message of your favorite racer wanting to meet you. You thought it was fake when you first noticed it until you saw the blue check mark and viewed the profile. Despite a slight uneasiness, you proceed with conversation and attend his races. The support becomes more personal as you become closer, his clinginess prominent though you can’t seem to find a care. Who wouldn’t want THE Manjiro Sano to link to them?

Time passes and you begin to realize how fast the relationship between you two is going. Before you know it, he’s basically moved you into his home as he requests your presence almost every single moment of the day. There were times when he even showed up to your job to get you off work so you could hang out. Luckily for you, your manager is a huge fan of the racer, but you were starting to become very uncomfortable with the off - putting behavior.

After more weird actions you made an attempt to distance yourself, only for him to question your loyalty and gaslight you into feeling guilty for trying to leave him, especially when you’re the closest person to him. Regardless, you held your ground, ready to live for yourself and to stop accommodating to the one you used to be a fan of.

“Let me show you how to ride a motorcycle.”

An eyebrow rose as you contemplated his ‘request.’ Shrugging you decided to allow it considering after this session you will continue distancing yourself from the needy man. Taking you to the nearest arena to practice, he showed you the basics and even displayed it on his own bike before handing it off to you.

Feeling nervous and yet the adrenaline boost causing excitement, you began on your own way around the arena, gaining momentum as you pressed the gas pedal, helmet tight on your head.

A few minutes pass when you decide to slow down, though when you hit the brake pedal, it doesn't show any signs of halting. A rush of anxiety and pure fear shoots through your chest as you desperately attempt to slow down. You attempt to scream for Mikey, turning your head to meet his gaze only to catch a quick glimpse of his stoic facial expression.

“Oh my God!”

Realizing the motorcycle was only speeding up to no end, you forcefully push yourself off the bike, landing harshly on the ground as the motorcycle falls off the trail and slams into a nearby wall, pieces flying everywhere. The pain in your body numbs out before engulfing your nerves as you groan before falling into a deep slumber.

Two months have passed since the devastating incident and your whole world has changed. You sit in your wheelchair in your former favorite’s home while he sits in between your paralyzed legs on a small stool. Your fingers trace through his blonde locks to pull half of it into a ponytail. He couldn’t help but sit with a smile, knowing that you’ll be tied to him for a while. At least for your recovery.

Unfortunately for you, the feeling of a grin was long forgotten as your whole reality became sucked into his, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Kazutora: The arcade had always been a place that held fond memories from your childhood. While it was open, you’d visit almost daily after school was released. You remember getting scolded everytime you would skip out on your homework or give minimum effort just to play on the machines and hang out with your friends. You always thought the building would be your preferred spot, even in your adulthood.

It never crossed your mind that one day, the business would shut down, the owners eventually abandoning the nostalgic structure and leaving the walls to rot. You also never thought you’d be sitting with your arms wrapped tightly around your knees as you lay your head down in an attempt to block your vision from what is playing out in front of you within the walls of the old arcade that used to be your comfort zone.

Unfortunately, your hearing exposed you to the disturbing impact of skin against bloody, torn flesh as fists make contact with the unconscious victim lying on the grimy cement. Your eyelids are shut tight as your hidden expression holds a grimace. Your teeth gnaw on your bottom lip, drawing a drop of blood as the metallic taste reaches your tongue.

You ignore the blood thirsty men who cheer on the violent endeavor. Their voices echo throughout the room, making it harder for you to tune out the situation. You had only heard of Valhalla before you were forced to meet them. Your certified ‘boyfriend’ made sure to show you off once he had a hold of you, almost like a prized possession he claimed. You never even agreed to the title, but you knew not to test the unstable man.

“Kazutora.” Although your voice is muffled, he’d never miss it no matter how quiet you are. Even in a room full of intimidating men. The sound of skin connecting halts as the room goes quiet. Your grip tightens around your limbs as you hear steady footsteps come towards you. Ignoring the whistling and whispers from the males watching the display, the footsteps stop in front of you before a hand gently grips the back of your head. You could feel the moisture of the red substance seeping to your scalp, causing a shiver up your spine. The golden eyed male guides your head up, forcing you to make eye contact as you give him a distressed gaze.

“H-he only greeted me. Stop… please.” You demand, your fingers fidgeting with the tight skin against your legs as you eye him crouching in your line of vision. He gives you a blank stare, the orbs wide with an unreadable expression that causes a prominent discomfort. He removes his hand from your head as he rests his arms against his bent legs.

“You’re taking his side now? That kinda hurts my feelings, Y/n.” His head tilts as he gives a sheepish smile with his eyes closed, scratching the back of his streaked locks.

“I-I’m not!” You shriek, eager to prove him wrong so as to not rile him up more. The poor male lying on the ground got caught in the crossfire of this psychopath’s wrath all because he greeted you. You were tired of others getting hurt in the process of even being near you. He’s an innocent bystander and it isn’t fair.

“Oh, Y/n. How could you be so insensitive to your lover’s concerns?” Hanma, a guy you’ve never liked, adds fuel to the flame as he sits with his legs crossed in a chair, leaning on the palm of his hand with a sly smile. “It seems she hasn’t learned her lesson. I’d give him a few more rounds for good measure. He can take it.” He shrugs with a smug expression.

You glare at him while the rest of the men agree and add their own two cents before facing Kazutora, who only stares back at you with an intense gaze that makes you shift uncomfortably.

“No, I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t talk to him again. Please just stop the violence.” You notice the blood running down his arms from his hands as it stains his pants. Your eyebrows furrow at the sight and strong smell which only grew as he placed both palms on your cheeks while kneeling. Both of your foreheads connect gently as he breathes your scent in.

“You’re mine, you know that right? You won’t ever betray me like that again?” He questions with his eyes closed. You feel his thumbs caress your skin as the blood smears, nodding your head to answer his questions.

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

Sanzu: You couldn’t help but feel like someone is playing a cruel psychological prank on you. The nagging feeling of being watched no matter where you go, even in your own home. The glimpses of a shadow figure in the corner of your eye, only for you to turn your head to see nothing. You ignored it at first, continuing your days as if everything was normal.

It wasn’t until a corpse was found in your bathroom, awaiting your arrival to view the disturbing display of a decaying body. You screeched until your throat couldn’t release sound anymore. After calling the police you sat in your living room. Once the authorities reached the scene, there was no sight of any dead body.

A few weeks pass and you just got off from work, ready to shower and throw yourself on your bed. You allowed the heat of the water to relax your muscles as you rubbed along your dermis with the soapy cloth. Once you were finished, you stepped out of the bathroom in your towel before heading to your bedroom.

Once you were dressed, you hopped into bed and switched your lamp off, the moonlight shining through the cracked curtains.

Although your eyelids were closed, you were interrupted from drifting off to sleep when a palm covered your mouth as a weight held you down. Your eyes shoot open, an icy blue glaring down at you through the darkness, as well as pink strands draping over the male’s shoulders. The lump in your throat burns as the tears threaten to fall out of your eyes as you stare in fear at the growing, scarred smile.

You watch as his free hand comes towards his mouth, his index finger pointed upwards and landing against his lips.

“Shh…” He motions for you to stay quiet as he feels the vibration of your whimpers against his skin. The free hand moves behind him before a shiny object is pulled out and pressed against your neck. Your eyes squint as the tears fall down your cheeks, body trembling as you feel the cold surface make contact with your skin.

“Did ya recognize him?” He questioned in amusement, just above a whisper. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you searched your brain for what he could mean.

“Why would you let a scum near my pussy?” You almost jerked back at the chuckling crazy guy. You have no clue who he even is nor who he’s talking about. That is… until it hits you.

The memory of the corpse you found in the bathroom plays out in your head. At the time you weren’t really focused on the identity because of how distraught you were to find the dead body. Now that you remember, the familiarity of the male’s face wasn’t hard to depict. He had been your most recent booty call, a friend of a friend who became your temporary close friend.

How you couldn’t recognize him was because you rarely ever called each other so it was only a couple of times you hooked up. Why the hell did this guy kill him and why is he referring to your vagina as ‘his pussy?’

You take a really good look at the man in front of you to try and figure out his thinking process, when it finally clicked.

That face… those eyes… those scars.

“Haru?!” Your voice is muffled against his hand, the male you happened to meet when he was blonde and masked. The boy you went to middle school with. The quiet boy you sat with at lunch, conversing even when he didn’t respond. The boy you created a close and yet distant friendship with. The boy who slightly broke your heart when he disappeared and was never heard from again. What the hell happened to him? Was he always this psychotic?

He observed you as realization hit, the crazed grin seeming to stretch wider than before. The glint in his eyes seemed to shimmer as he leaned closer to you.

“This time, you’re coming with me.”

#yandere x reader #yandere #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers #yandere tokyo revengers #yandere headcanons #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev x you #sano mikey manjiro #manjiro x reader #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x you #kazutora x reader #manjiro x you #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu x reader #sanzu x you

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queers-gambit · 1 month

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The Black Dread part two

prompt: after word is sent for Dragonseeds to raise up, you shockingly claim The Black Dread. knowing your stance would all but determine the war, both Alicent and Rhaenyra send emissaries to persuade your allegiance through means of marriage. when tragedy strikes, you fly to war. -> in this part: receiving the Princes at Highgarden and a little flashforward.

pairing: Jacaerys 'Jace' Velaryon x female!Tyrell!reader pairing: Aemond Targaryen x female!Tyrell!reader -> hair color specified reader -> technically Targaryen!reader -> ALL characters aged 18+

fandom masterlist: House of the Dragon

series masterlist: The Black Dread < < < previous part, part one: read here > > > next part, part three: read here

word count: 6.4k+

warnings: cursing, more set up, depiction of anxiety, i think that's it and that's suspicious

You winced when the seamstress pinched your waist again while hemming the gown you modeled in front of a trio of mirrors atop a pedestal. "Apologies, my Lady," the woman with a heavy Braavosi accent excused with a quirked thick brow, "I appear off my clock, think I am seeing double."

"Expected after such long travels," you nodded in agreement. "Perhaps we should pause to let you rest, we can resume later - "

"No, no, nope, we have no time," the jittery ginger Maester Keiff Foral insisted, hands rushing in a flurry from where he was pacing behind you, "we have to get your dresses done now before the Princes arrive!"

"This is so superficial - "

"Stand straighter."

You huffed, "Tell me in earnest, why are we even entertaining these proposals?"

"Because war - "

"Not our war."

"Ours now that you've claimed a dragon!"

You sighed, just watching Madam Oraena Ostiris work in the reflection. "So we come to it," you whisper.

"To what, child?"

"You are angry I have claimed Balerion!"

Maester Foral pursed his lips, moving around to sit at the available table. "Angry? At you? I am weary," he admitted. "Bringing The Black Dread here, it has put a target on us, my Lady. The Greens and Blacks both were content to look the other way, we had declared ourselves neutral; they need Harrenhal more than they need Highgarden - and Oldtown's on their own, but now? Now, your dragon has beckoned them to our door."

"I can always refuse them," you mused.

"I do not know how the Princes would handle rejection from you in that dress," Foral chuckled. "Your father would choke if he saw you, my Lady."

"I suppose it is good he will not see again," you sighed, petting the material of your new gown. It was modern, chic, new; albeit revealing and daring, it was different. "I suppose I should ask, is there news?"

"No, my Lady. Your father makes no change."

In the tallest tower of the Highgarden Keep, your father, Lord Paramount Tyrell, laid in a bed; unmoving, unwaking, still breathing, as he has for the past 4 years following a swift and sudden infection. Your Targaryen Princess mother passed just a year prior to King Viserys, leaving you to inherit the lands, riches, titles, and all that comes with Lordship Ladyship of The Reach. This was until your brother, Ryden, now ten, came of age in another four years. Technically, he could assume Lordship at ten-and-three, but it was so stipulated he would remain under education until ten-and-four, pending your father's health.

"What do you think I should do, Maester?" You asked stiffly. "Prince Aemond and Prince Jacaerys both fly for us this day, what should I do?"

"Well, what feels appropriate?"

"As if that matters," you scoffed. He waited as you and Madam Ostiris chittered over your dress; making necessary changes in posture to let the seamstress hem and sew.

"Humor me, pretend it does," Maester Foral spoke to you through the mirror.

You frowned, rolling your eyes, "Well, ideally, I'd have time to get to know them both before being forced to choose who I want to bind myself to for life."

"Reasonable."

"For the love of the Gods, be helpful, Keiff, or get out," you huffed. "Do not just agree with me, please."

He chuckled, "All right, all right. You are the acting Lady of the House, you hold more power than you realize, and you now ride the largest dragon in the known world. So, receive them both and offer accommodations for the week their mothers have bartered for, and in that time, make clear you wish to spend equal time with them both before you declare for either side."

"I'm able... To do that?"

"Why not? If Rhaenyra can be Queen, why can you not take a week to get to know suitors you might possibly wish to spend your life with? Times are changing, my Lady, just look at the dragon you now ride, the position you hold." Keiff paused to take a long, deep breath, "You know, all-in-all, perhaps this will not be too bad."

"How so?"

"I hear both princes are rather becoming."

Your eyes rolled as Madam Ostiris snickered and softly mused, "Sounds as if, at least, whoever you choose will be someone pleasing to look at. There are worse fates, worse prospects of husbands, my Lady."

You hummed in acknowledgement, admiring your figure cut in the dress, directing to Keiff, "Do me a favor, old friend?"

"Of course, my Lady, anything."

"Keep me logical. If I fall prey to emotions, keep my head straight - I want to make the best, most logical, strategic pact for our people as possible."

"Do not be so pessimistic. Love can be so - "

"This isn't about love, it's about strategy, and at the very least, compatibility. A single week to decide who I will spend this life with, a week to consider which scales I tip in this war. This is about survival and stability, Maester, not love."

He sighed, watching Madam Ostiris tighten the laces of your exposed corset in a finishing touch to your attire. Since you were a babe, Maester Keiff Foral served your family; a surrogate father, nanny, tutor, friend, brother, the fun uncle you run away to when pissed at your parents. He hated how repugnant you sounded at love - wanting that magic for you, never wanting your marriage to be akin to a sales transaction.

Maester Foral, however, knew you to be a noble and honorable woman and if duty compels, someone who would agree to a marriage pact for other's benefit. So, he wasn't surprised by your determination to do your duty, but the way you spoke, the hostile acid used when speaking about marriage, about love - it saddened him. He knew you had so much love to give with nowhere to put it, nor were you equipped to accept authentic love - let alone give it a chance to let a flame catch and ashen.

One of the servants entered the chamber, hesitating only a moment before informing, "There's been a dragon sighted, my Lady. The watchmen predict no farther than 10 minutes from our location."

"Thank you," you breathed, Madam Ostiris finishing her work, allowing you time to finish prepping to your pleasure. "Maester Foral, please, uh, gather members of our court to the Throne Room. We'll receive the Princes. Oh, we'll need their rooms finalized, please, send some maids to double check the guest chambers are ready, as well. Ensure they're in separate wings."

"My Lady," he agreed, bowing out of the room to go do as you asked while you heaved a grand huff of breath.

There came a long pause as you looked at your dress, nodding in approval. "It becomes you," Madam Ostiris noted casually, packing up her sewing kit.

"Hmm?" You hummed.

"Power," she smirked.

"She's right," a voice chimed, Grandmother Celia came into the room; lips spread in a smirk, hands clasped before her. "Power becomes you, sweet petal," she chuckled. "That dress is exquisite."

"Madam Ostiris is a genius," you complimented, stepping off the pedestal. "I'm glad you're here. Tell me," your arms spread in bravado, "is this appropriate to meet our royal convoy in?"

"I would say," she approved, petting the skirt you wore. "Thank you, Madam Ostrich."

"Ostiris," you swiftly corrected with a smirk. "Madam, you've been shown your quarters, yes?"

"Yes, my Lady, thank you."

"Thank you," you dismissed softly, watching her scoop her personal sewing kit into her arms and scurry out of the room. "Grandmother," you directed, pouring a goblet of sweet wine, "would you attend today's affair with me? I do not wish to stand alone."

"Maester Foral will be there."

"I would feel stronger with another Tyrell at my side."

She chuckled and took your arm, patting it in assurance. "I will always stand with you, my girl," she assured. "Are you prepared for their arrival?"

"As best I can be. I feel as if I am standing trial."

Celia chuckled, watching you take a nervous gulp. "To what crime?"

"Claiming to be a Targaryen is a heinous declaration, bordering on a punishable offense. None believed me, said I did not look akin to my claims; now I ride Balerion and am fielding marriage proposals from Dragon Princes. It's as if I am defending myself from tension that brewed in my mother's generation, and none of it feels real."

Celia nodded, "And yet, you carry this responsibility beautifully."

"Begrudgingly," you corrected with a smirk. "Shall we?" You finished your wine, setting the goblet down and offering your arm to her withered hand.

"To the Throne Room?"

"Courtyard," you corrected. "I intend to meet the royal envoy."

"Then we shall meet inside," she decided, "there's no chance I'm traipsing through the mud. Nor nearing your beast."

You agreed, watching her part as you were swept up by a swarm of maids and guards all escorting you towards the front of the Keep.

"My Lady," your usual lady's maid rushed up to you, "there's a dragon - "

"Yes, Eyme, I'm aware," you smirked, waving her to follow. "Did you have the guest chambers made up?"

"Yes, my Lady, in the East and West wings."

You nodded, "And the kitchens?"

"Stocked and preparing tonight's welcome feast," Eyme confirmed. The winds swept your dress skirt back when the doors opened, surging down the stairs as more of your Household Guard joined the procession.

"Open the gates," you commanded, leading the way out of the Keep. Things seemed relatively calm as the dragon in the distance was a growing speck, but then, the peace shattered when Balerion lifted his head and released a loud, reverberating growl. "Shit," you muttered, "stay here, stand at the ready!"

You rushed to your dragon laying in the valley beneath the Highgarden Keep, trying to use broken High Valyrian but making absolutely no sense - turning into a blubbering mess out of panic. There was no true calming your beast, especially when he lifted onto his feet and bared his teeth in threat. You cursed again.

Balerion stretched out, making you keep pace at his shoulder as the distant dragon drew closer. "You know them?" You asked The Black Dread casually, sighing and patting the scaly hide of his ankle - the only place you could honestly reach. "Is it a familiar smell?"

He grumbled and in truth, you had no honest idea if he understood the Common Tongue or not - but after so many years, perhaps he did to an extent.

"They're guests," you warned your dragon, who breathed heavily; shoulders hulking, leering in threat as the other dragon became more defined. "They're kin," you sighed. "One is your old rider's son, and the other, his grandson. Did you ever meet her? The Black Queen, Rhaenyra? Daughter of Viserys?"

Balerion huffed and you smirked, successfully distracting him. "I haven't either," you told him. "We'll judge them fairly, yes? You sniff out their dragons, see if they smell deceitful." When he grumbled, you patted his hide again, "Good lad." The dragon began it's decent, you musing, "Here we go..."

The first dragon that touched down was tiny in comparison, your curiosity peaking when another dot was spotted in the distance. "Easy," you told Balerion, "Vermax is young, he's not a threat." Your dragon grumbled as the dark haired Prince dismounted. "Vhagar approaches, she's who makes me nervous. Remain vigilant, that's a good lad."

You did not move far from your dragon, standing a few paces beside him as his head leered in an arch to watch the exchange as you faced the Prince. His dragon leered at your own; hissing and spitting, backing up a few paces as you smirked. When he was close enough, you greeted, "Welcome to Highgarden, my Prince."

"Lady Tyrell," he halted himself, eyeing Balerion with mistrust. "What a pleasure it is to make your formal acquaintance. I am Prince Jacaerys Velaryon."

You relaid your full name, using your manners to ask, "I trust your travels were safe?"

"Yes, my Lady, thank you," he nodded, clearing his throat. "Though I regret to ask - "

"Vermax will be provided ample feeding," you smirked, clocking his breath of relief. "We've prepared for your arrival... And mine own, I suppose."

"I've often wondered, how much does The Black Dread consume?"

"Enough to feed several villages," you chuckled, glancing at the large head that dropped beside you. You laid an arm on him in a show of affection, "He's very good at self sustaining; though, I buy his love by feeding him livestock. I hope it makes up for my inability to speak High Valyrian."

"Perhaps we could arrange some lessons," he smiled prettily.

"That would be appreciated," you nodded. "In fact, I was hoping for your opinion on a tutor, while you're here. I'd like to learn of my heritage, but being able to communicate with Balerion is paramount."

"Of course, my Lady."

You watched as Prince Jacaerys was welcomed into your court as Vhagar eventually made her descent. You required a moment or two to collect yourself, swallowing nervously in the presence of the Velaryon Prince; a young lad you found almost dreadfully attractive. Despite his thick head of dark, luscious curls, he was every bit Targaryen you were - perfectly one half, on your mother's side.

For some reason, to the Realm, the mother's lineage is erased and forgotten - but blood doesn't lie. Neither do genetics, but that was a conversation for a different day.

You thought the Prince was well groomed; his thin face angular, high structured, and sharp, framed by his corkscrew curls. Though lean, he appeared to have the makings of muscle; standing taller than you, freckles sprayed across his nose and cheeks, lips plump and perfectly pouting.

Balerion bellowed when faced with Vhagar - even at a distance. You were unsure what word to use, but smoothly, you heard Jace provide the High Valyrian word for clam, "Lykiri."

You repeated the word with a stutter, Jace gently repeating himself to allow your tongue to form the foreign word. After another try or two, you were rolling your pronunciation; Balerion shifting his weight and growling, even under your patient hand. You muttered a few words in the Common Tongue, the beast glowering with literal smoke wafting from his nostrils as the One-Eyed Prince stalked across the short distance between dragons.

"Prince Aemond," You greeted kindly, "welcome to Highgarden."

As you went through the usual spiel, you got a good look at the Kinslayer Prince. He was handsome in a much more unique way; perhaps unconventional, but certainly alluring. His jaw (and nose) came to a point, his expression full with his single eye; stoic yet oddly expressive. His pin-straight platinum locks were down, pieces at his temple tied back simply to accommodate the strap of his eyepatch. His cheeks were chiseled. His scar was a dark pinkish-tan against porcelain flesh, indicating years of healing. Thin, bowed, quirked lips - even with a neutral and passive expression.

Handsome, indeed.

After hearing your court greet Aemond respectfully, attention had shifted towards you again. You told both Jacaerys and Aemond smoothly, "I hope to come to know the extent of our hospitality during your stay here. I apologize for greeting you outside the bounds of the Keep - I was unsure how Balerion would react to visitors. And I should apologize for our lack of Dragonpit, I understand the anxiety you might feel from leaving your dragons exposed; there's never been need to host dragons at Highgarden before."

"Mh," Prince Aemond hummed, "though appreciated, no apology is necessary, my Lady. Thank you for granting me your audience. The King was most pleased to learn you accepted our parlay invitation."

"No thanks necessary, my Prince," you shot back, saving Jace from rebuttal, "but I have yet to bend the knee, and therefore, encourage you do not mistake my hospitable curiosity to receive your envoy, my Prince, for alleged proclamation of support in the war ravaging the Realm. Yet while I do not declare for either of your sides yet, it's akin to alining with both." You paused, lips straightening in tight emotion, "I've learned those who refuse kings - or their kin - end in demise, so, at the very least, I'd be a fool to reject your entry under my roof."

"Nevertheless, the King appreciates your cooperation."

Balerion growled as if in disagreement with the term "King", but you just hushed like a parent would a child, "Aht! You behave."

Seeing them both offer kind amusement to your words, you noted how effortless Jace appeared and how Aemond's expression appeared to host veiled impatience. You remembered this wasn't some romantic meet-cute, but a very disingenuous way to marry; to find a partner; to start a new life - what very well could be the rest of your life.

Something in your gut stirred.

You were pretty as a petal, protected by dragon hide; knowing that when people saw you, they saw a meek, unmarried maiden and concocted their own narrative, snap judgements, harsh in their opinion. They thought you looked weak - a death sentence in this day and age; looking the part of vulnerable, all but offering for others to take advantage and manipulate you - only to dine on them. As dragons do.

Pretty girls were viewed as prey, appearing as easy targets. It was sickeningly frustrating to always be the bigger person; to remain ladylike, soft, kind, seen and never heard even in the face of adversity.

Like your grandmother said, it was time to be a dragon - who don't concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Dragons leave absolutely zero room for disrespect, and they never ask for respect - it's given, warranted, collected, nonverbally demanded all out of fear. Respect universally bestowed to the top apex predator who could end life in a single stream of fire, crush anyone or anything under their legs, decommission entire cities; talons that can easily eviscerate, teeth that could shred human flesh and bones like cheese on a grater.

Be a dragon.

So, you smirked, "Follow me, then, my Princes, Grandmother will be eager to meet you."

Two guards walked ahead of you, leading the procession into the Highgarden Keep. Maids and other guards placed themselves strategically between the Princes, but it seemed the Prince in green leather followed you closely at an even pace, lanky legs moving him with a distinct swagger; feeling almost magnetized to you while gliding through the Keep.

Upon entering the Throne Room (which wasn't a real "throne room" but instead, the room the Lord of the Reach would sit when receiving his peers, guests, counterparts, and citizens), you saw Maester Keiff Foral with your grandmother, Celia, standing at the front of the room with your brother, Ryden, around the seat you were to occupy.

Not feeling secure enough to sit in your new dress, you remained standing while introducing the two Princes - but it was still obvious, you were at the helm of Highgarden.

"Prince Aemond and Prince Jacaerys wish to discuss an alliance between our Houses - we are going to hear their marriage petitions," you announced officially, finally taking a seat - but in a perch, teetering at the very edge. "Now," you cleared your throat, "you both sent words of parlay that we have agreed to hear. Are you both designated to offer terms of negotiation?"

"Yes, my Lady," Jace nodded, your eyes shifting to Aemond, who nodded and repeated his words.

With a hum, you continued, "Then I encourage you both to listen closely. As Lady of this House, I will do whatever is right by my people - not this war. I am not currency for either of you to collect, this is about negotiating terms of peace. Nobody today is present under false pretenses, yes?"

There was a murmured wave of agreement.

"Then we are all aware that this alliance means the fighting rights to Balerion." There was another few nods. "I would see peace return to our land, to this Realm, but first, we have much to discuss. So, I will offer you both one week. In this proposed week, I will attempt to spend equal time with you both and learn of you; since marriage is served over a lifetime, I want to be sure about the man I willingly spend it with. Is this agreeable?"

"I accept your terms," Aemond nodded.

"Oh, you haven't heard my terms yet, love, sit tight," you mused; longer fingernails drumming on the armchairs. "Is this agreeable? A one-week term?"

"Yes, my Lady, most gracious of you," Jace agreed.

Aemond's head tilted to the side, slowly regarding those who ruled The Reach - all watching him like a wild dragon. "Tell me," Aemond leered, "when Lord Tyrell passes, who inherits Highgarden?"

You scoffed gently.

"Lady Tyrell, my Prince, until the new Lord Tyrell comes of age," Maester Keiff Foral answered strongly. "Your father, Gods rest his soul, was a peaceful King and the Realm is forever grateful that the Quiet Age lasted this long after King Jaehaerys ruled - but Viserys was not the first man to name a woman heir. Yes, first woman to the Iron Throne, but there are known keeps and kingdoms under the leadership of women - The Reach, for example. The Vale and Dorne, too."

"I am well aware. Does Lord Tyrell have any bastards?"

"Uh, n-no, my Prince. None that are known...?"

"Can anyone lay claim to her inheritance?" Aemond asked plainly, cutting off anyone ready to scold him for his brash questions.

"No, but she is expected to rule until her brother ages, and Gods forbid, if something happens to Ryden, she is to birth presumably the next Lord of Highgarden," Keiff answered slowly, as if piecing the idea together in real time.

"Then, forgive my hesitance, but why bother with Prince Jacaerys?" Aemond dared. "If he's to inherit the Throne," he mocked, "Lady Tyrell would have to forfeit her duties and the family's ancestral seat for a time, produce heirs for her husband's line, stand at the King's side when she's meant to rule here. Begs the question who Prince Jacaerys means to propose for this alliance? Surely, not himself as he's previously betrothed - to his cousin, uh, stepsister, Lady Baela?"

"And what of your engagement to Floris Baratheon?" Jace shot back.

Sure, his question was being answered (both engagements broken) and actually spurred conversation around the room, but Aemond couldn't hear anymore. Yes, he started this, but salty, warm, pressurized waters had flooded the chamber through sealed windows to trap Aemond in waves of anxiety. Suddenly, his nerves compressed, lungs emptied but couldn't refill; veins dilated to accommodate his worrisome racing heart, throat closing immediately after.

Jacaerys... Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, who would be a legitimized, recognized, acknowledged Targaryen upon succession... Jaecerys. Jaecerys. Jaecerys. Jace... Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace...

Memories flashed to silently - privately - remind Aemond of that day when Vhagar killed Lucerys - the little bastard brother of Jacaerys. That infamous day haunts Aemond, feeling unfamiliar guilt and shame with himself - which didn't say much considering Aemond's entire life was a steady-handed written tragedy. Now, the other object of his ire would face off with him as Luke had... Vying for a Lady's hand...

Aemond wondered if Jace - being older with dropped testicles - would scream, and if so, would it be like Luke's? Shrill? Or something "deeper"? Lucerys screamed in sheer terror before being swallowed whole; arguably the day that started the war, but definitely being first blood shed (unless you believed that to be Lord Beesbury). Blood was going to be spilled one way or another! This was war, after all!

Aemond hated being mere feet from Jacaerys, but for the sake of the Realm, he restrained himself.

Yet nobody in that room was stronger than Jace - who stood, patiently, pleasantly, mere feet from the man who murdered his beloved baby brother in brutal cold blood. There would never be a more opportune time to strike for vengeance, but Jace kept his cool - insisting to himself that if he remained patient, he'd get his chance. Or perhaps karma would get Aemond! But one thing was for sure: Jace refused to "lose" you to this Kinslayer. So, he kept calm.

Aemond was sent to Highgarden by his mother; by the Green Council; by anyone not himself. Jace, sure, had been sent by the Black Council - but he had wanted to do his duty to his mother, in this war; to history. Jace felt honored to be received by your Ladyship - and by Gods, it showed.

Eventually, you spoke clearly through both Prince's internal thoughts, turmoil, and monologues:

"In this week, you are both welcomed guests, and all of Highgarden's amenities, resources, and services are at your disposal, my Princes. What livestock can be spared, your dragons will be fed - though do not be startled if they venture off with Balerion, he enjoys hunting in the surrounding areas. You're both to be hosted in different wings of the Keep," you laid out plainly, "and under no circumstances shall violence nor taunting be permitted. I understand the animosity between you two, there's been plenty of rumors - so I will not see bloodshed in nor around my home," you directed at Aemond, "to one another, myself, family, or dragon; nor any staff members, occupants of the Keep, and / or citizens. Can you both agree to these terms?"

"I agree," Jacaerys almost instantly accepted.

"I agree," Aemond nodded stiffly.

"Good. Then, come next Sunday, I endeavor to have a decision for you. I ask you both to consider a single question that I will expect answered in the coming days: what role would you have me play in this war? What would you see me do? Have me do?" There came a pause. "If there are no questions, I think we have much to discuss - privately."

When neither Prince argued, you and Maester Foral lead the terms of negotiation. You worried mostly over how The Reach would either suffer or benefit; hardly caring about personal expectations, you wanted to know who would overhead the barley production that season - since ale was so precious to the Realm. You wanted to know who would be funding the new irrigation system. You wanted to know how quickly either side would retreat once their alliance was made - essentially asking how long this war was expected to last post alliance. You wanted to know how best to help your people, fearing they'd suffer if you chose the wrong side to aline with.

After several hours, you understood the terms set by the Blacks and Greens; insisting they disperse for supper and get a fresh start for tomorrow. When the chambers emptied, leaving you, Keiff, and Celia, it was eerily quiet for several long heartbeats.

"What is it?" Maester Foral asked, leaning his crossed arms on the tabletop. "What do you think, my Lady?"

"This feels... I don't know, futile?" You struggled to think rationally, sighing deeply. "Like, what's the point? Rhaenyra isn't gonna let her claim to the Iron Throne go. And Aegon is more likely to tap dance naked in the streets of King's Landing than stand off the Throne. His mother, I hear, would probably shove him out a bloody window if he dared give up the Throne she stole for him. No matter what, Keiff, both sides think they're right and it's too late now. So, what do we do? Do we affirm this usurper's claim? Or do we help the Queen get her birthright back?"

"It is not a simple thing I can answer."

"Nobody can - yet I am expected to," you huffed. "They won't back down... We all know they won't - neither side will consent. So, no matter what I do, who I choose, I'll be on the frontlines with Balerion. They'll expect us to commit some incredible yet treacherous acts, like The Conqueror fucking burning Harrenhal. No matter what we choose, this war isn't gonna end, will it?"

Celia just sighed as Maester Foral was quiet, then he, too, sighed deeply. He spoke softly, "In truth? I always worried this would happen. There's nothing wrong with a woman heir, I never understood the fuss. Yet this country is so - so - so...?"

"Traditional?" Celia guessed. "Stubborn?"

"Closed minded," Keiff found the words, you nodding along. "They think because we started with a King, we should end with a King, and nowhere between should there be a ruling Queen. I don't know if Rhaenyra stands a chance winning..."

"What do you mean?" Celia asked stiffly.

"Even if she defeats the Greens, takes back her Throne, she'll still have to face the entire Realm - who whisper about her predicted downfall. A Queen will never rule," he frowned, "and the people would become restless and unhappy, betrayal would always brew - someone would always plot against her. She wouldn't be winning the war - but affirming it."

You frowned, "Who would think they have better claim than Rhaenyra?"

"Aegon - "

"Besides him," you chuckled.

"Prince Aemond, probably. And by the same right, Prince Daeron would have a claim - being Viserys' seed," Celia considered. "Could even be a bastard or two lingering in the shadows. Consider if Baelon had bastards, huh?"

"Prince Baelon? Bastards?" You laughed. "The man was devoted to his wife!"

"Devoted men can still fuck around! A cunt is still a cunt!"

"Oh, Grandmother, don't say that - I don't think you're allowed to say that and I certainly don't wish to hear it!"

Keiff spoke over you both, "There could be any number of bastards - from any number of royals. But there's no real proof of lineage, less the sire steps forward, and in this case, all sires are dead. So, I wouldn't worry about any bastards trying to raise and lay claim."

The night was still young and the questions only just starting.

ONE WEEK LATER

Dawn would peak in less than an hour, and yet, instead of being safe and warm in bed, you were slipping in dew-dotted grass while carting a wagon full of sickly lambs. In a tremendously unladylike fashion, you cursed like a sailor, annoyed with nature; pacing further from the border of the Highgarden Keep.

After clearing the dewy hill, you descended into the valley Balerion had curled up in. His head lifted as you approached, his grumble causing the earth to quake and send birds squawking into the skies. "Yeah," you panted, "I'm hungry, too, love, just gimme a second. Good lad."

For the past nine weeks you've had your dragon, you had fallen into routine of bringing him little treats. Cattle, goats, chickens, sometimes dogs or horses; and today, after an entire litter fell fatally ill, lambs. Vhagar and Vermax were in the sky above the Keep.

"All right, love," you sighed, approaching your beastie. With a tentative tongue, you tried the commands in High Valyrian both Princes had taught you that past week, "Serve, Balerion."

No story could do this beast justice. He was magnificent, but also absolutely terrifying - horrifying - devastating to gaze at. It's said “his wingspan was so large that his shadow could engulf entire towns when he passed overhead. His teeth were as long as swords, and his jaws were large enough to swallow an aurochs whole, or even one of the hairy mammoths that are said to roam the cold wastes beyond the Port of Ibben.”

In person, he was the living embodiment of Death.

You repeated yourself, listening to your dragon huff before lowering his head. "Be calm, Balerion," you commanded with a stern voice, smirking when he grumbled, "be calm. Easy... Easy," you chanted, extending your hand. His lip twitched as his snout extended, allowing you to lay a gentle touch to his cracked ebony scales. "Good," you praised, "good, be calm."

He breathed deeply, eyes bright and blazing a menacing flame red. You were lost in thought as you stroked his face, mind whirling with all that happened the past week; mind nagging about the stark differences in Dragon Princes. Balerion did not find his feet, there was no need; lifting his head only slightly when you pulled away to overturn the wagon before him. At your feet, the lambs were too sick to run away, bleating helplessly; the great large beast locking eyes with you and waiting for permission.

After several steps back, you smirked and called, "Eat, Balerion."

Behind you, a voice called your name. Balerion didn't care, indulging in his breakfast treat, allowing you to peak back and locate your best mate, Alora Flowers, waving you down. "C'mon, love," she called.

"You! C'mere," you told her, lugging the now empty wagon behind you.

"Gods, no!" She squeaked. "You get up here! I'm not going around that beast, you know this!"

"Coward!"

"Absolutely! Proudly!"

You laughed, lugging the wagon to a certain height and then leaving it to meet Alora on the hill incline. "Still scared of him?" You teased.

"Of the big arse dragon?" She laughed, "Yeah! I'm still scared! Even at this distance, he could reach out and snack on us."

"Good thing he won't," you assured, nudging her to sit down. "What're you doin' out here? It's early."

"You were not in your chambers," she noted, "and today's the day you announce to the Princes... I wanted to check on you, see how you're feeling about everything."

You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement as she revealed the miniature picnic basket she brought. As Alora unpacked an array of fruits, some cheeses and breads with jams, honey, and dried meats, you admitted, "I've no bloody idea what to think anymore."

"Oh, that's not good."

You hummed, biting into an apple as Balerion crunched three lambs between his jaws at once. "It's been a touch overwhelming," you muse. "But either Prince has made an impression, I am now tasked with choosing a side in this Godsforsaken war."

"You could truly turn the tide in it," Alora nodded, biting into a plum. "Take the Realm in a direction it's never been before... Or support it going in the same direction it's always gone. Which, you know, lead us here anyways."

Your eyes rolled, "Well, when you phrase it like that..."

"C'mon," she nudged your shoulder. "They're both very handsome, but for different reasons."

"Hmm?"

"Prince Jacaerys is handsome in a stereotypical way. You know, cut jawline, chiseled cheekbones, luscious curly hair. He's young, but in a charming way - seems green to the ways of the world. He'd be a match to learn with you," she chuckled, sighing to herself.

"You seem enraptured - surely, you'd hate me for choosing Prince Jacaerys since you sound so taken by him."

"Unless the Prince's penis suddenly reverts within his body, I don't envision myself with him," Alora teased, making you both laugh loudly. She flinched a little when Balerion grumbled and lifted his head to seemingly glare at the pair of you for interrupting him. After clearing her throat, she continued, "On the other hand, Prince Aemond's handsome in a rugged way. He's entirely chiseled, mysterious and confident. His entire presence drawls you in."

"All seems so simple when comparing men on parchment," you frowned, leaning back onto your elbow as the sun began its ascent above the horizon.

"Well, let's break it down."

"How?"

"If you aline with the Greens, what would that look like?"

You paused to consider her question, answering, "Chaotic."

"Think deeper."

Chewing a piece of bread with cheese, you considered, "Probably a logical choice, since the Realm has only ever known men to sit the Iron Throne. It wouldn't challenge norms, would relatively keep the peace since there's plenty to be expected when a man rules. Balerion would be put to use; that, I can all but guarantee. Things would... Become predictable, but perhaps that's preferred. After decades of peace, perhaps it's best to not change the status quo."

Alora nodded, "Alining with the Greens would keep Aegon on the Throne."

"Use Balerion would neutralize Rhaenyra, though?"

"Probably. And anyone who offers Aegon insult."

"And if I aline with the Blacks, then I would dethrone a usurper..."

"What an adventure that sounds like," she chuckled, you agreeing. "Keep going, we could expect what outta you alining with the Blacks?"

You huffed, "Chaos."

"Bitch."

Laughter felt a little misplaced, but still, you shared in the exchange of amusement. "Rhaenyra's the emotional choice - where it almost doesn't matter her qualifications because the Realm swore to her; she was declared and her claim upheld by her father, the King. We would be putting a Queen on her Throne, as intended. The Greens would be extinguished... We'd be heralding in a new age. Her son would sit the Throne after her..."

Alora blinked, "Am I just realizing that now?"

"What?"

"If you marry Aemond, you'll be the King's sister-by-law. If you marry Jace, you'd... You'd be Queen one day."

"What a fate after all I've been denied," you scoffed bitterly, "all my mother and aunt were denied."

"The Vanished Princess and the Queen Who Never Was. Quite a pair."

"I hear, in their youth, they were," you frowned with a sigh. "We'll never see their likes again."

"No... But perhaps, we'll see something new in you. Answer me this, who did you think was nice?"

"Oh, fuck off - nobody cares for that - "

"I do," she snapped. "Now, answer me. Who do you think is nice? Which Prince? Either? Neither? Both?"

You hummed in consideration, answering nervously, "Jace was nice - is. Is nice, Jace is nice."

"Who do you think you have more in common with?"

"Maybe Aemond."

"Are either of them funny?"

"Jace has a sense of humor, Aemond is so very... Rigid and stoic."

"I imagine it takes longer than a week to truly know someone, perhaps he is anxious?"

"Or perhaps he is simply doing his duty," you scoffed gently. "At the very least, Jace seems... Somewhat..." You shrugged, "Excited to be here, maybe even intrigued."

She nodded. "So, no matter who you choose, we're looking at war - but the end of the war, so... Where do you wish to stand? Since it's inevitable, I think this comes down to what kind of chaos you want to see - a chaos we've endured or one we've never seen before? I mean, never before has a woman come so close to the Throne..."

There was a long silence. Like, several minutes long. After deep-enough contemplation, you whispered, "If this past week if any indication..." You trailed off, sighing deeply for the hundredth time; staring at Balerion. "I think I know what I should do."

"Oh?"

"Talking it out helps."

"Then talk," she leaned back in the grass. "Tell me about this past week - tell me about the Princes."

And where to start?

< < < previous part, part one: read here

> > > next part, part three: read here

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windser · 3 months

Note

PLEASE write out that sylus work. The fandom beeds more spicy MCs and i can tell she would give him a run for his money

pairing: mc x sylus (soulmate!au) wc: 1.2k+

a/n: loooool here is just a bit of a teaser for how i imagined it all playing out. i highly doubt this is how mc and sylus will meet BUT its so fitting for how i image their dynamic playing out. but i really do want to wait for the official drop so I can confirm his characterization. [based on this post]

⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄ ⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄

"he’s asking for me ?"

"he identified you by your mark."

your palm immediately goes to cover your wrist, blocking the neat scrawl from view. but it was little too late at this point.

you had never really taken care to hide your soulmate mark from the world. to bear it publicly was often a act of seeking from the individual, showing it proudly as if it might attract their pair sooner.

but for you, it was just as obscure seen or hidden, the mundaneness lining the words that felt like it would never truly have meaning.

‘you’re beautiful’

in your youth days, you thought it was the most romantic gesture to know that your fated person had such a high option of you at first glance. but the years tarnished that same phrase, after hearing it from too many loose lips with hollower intentions.

now it was just a first tattoo, fated second.

the slouch of your shoulder is nonchalant in gesture, though equally weighed down by the situation. “he probably just has intel on it. i’m too careless in the field if i can be identified so easily."

it was a crude bluff, a mere diversion from the pending truth. because yes, it was an indefinite, but only one individual in the world would ever need to find someone based on it.

besides this was the presumed leader of onichynus.

even considering the idea was a headache.

tara shuffles to the right at the sound of your name and you both look up to see jenna waiting, ready by the door.

her quiet nod feels like a direct pang to your temple.

right, a headache indeed.

࿓࿓༄༄࿓

though captured, albeit suspiciously easy, the operation did not come without effort. reportedly there were no casualties but it had been a battle enough in the end.

jenna warns you of as much as the two of you descend further into lower levels of the security facility. there weren’t many criminals who fit the eligibility to be locked behind maximum security. the hiss of the heavy steel doors partying to grant entry spoke volumes about the threshold needed to hold such a threat.

the leader of onichynus was an old tale but not the first. it never occurred to you until now what other individuals might be stored away here for the safety of linkon city.

“ma’am”

the hunter standing before the last sealed door saluted jenna with a stiff salute, the action drawing your attention to the smear of red against his palm.

a battle indeed.

jenna answers with a more tempered gesture, less precise with exhaustion.

“any changes?”

you’d been sent home early into the conclusion of the operation, leaving the higher ups to decide how to deal with the sour victory. it had been less than twelve hours since then and you doubted jenna spent a second of it resting.

the same could he said of the officer standing guard who looked like if he leaned against the wall for even a moment he would slump over.

“none.”

his gaze flicked briefly to you, then down. “is this...?”

it seemed that the leader of onichynus was very vocal with his demands. even without tara's penchant for information, it was now no wonder how everyone knew of your predicament.

you had taken care to clasp your arms behind your back but it seemed the damage was already done.

“the deal was confirmation enough, though at this point it’s all formality.” jenna is addressing you now. her lips turn as she observes the door as if she could see through it. perhaps feeling the aura was enough.

“this is late to mention but you don’t have to do this.”

tardy indeed given that she had already led you to the lion’s den. your face seems to display enough of that sentiment given her sigh.

“if this is true-“ if this man if truly your soulmate, goes unsaid. “then council will reassess the situation.”

the words taste asinine even when they don’t come from your mouth. it wasn’t as if your fate could twist their judgement. the man behind those doors has earned his sentence, it was too late to draw you into the equation.

besides, what would you even do with a criminal as a soulmate? this early in the game, you could cut your loses and actually prepare for a non-fated pairing.

what you did know was that nothing was going to change with one-half meeter of steel between you.

“well let’s see what’s behind door number three.”

jenna doesn’t comment on the joke, likely attributing it to nerves. but in truth, you were just as ready as everyone else to get this over with.

given you had not been present at the exact capture, the face of onichynus still a mystery to you. though this close, you couldn’t help but recall that feeling of the ominous gaze hanging over you. it was one of the few times you had placed the feeling out of your nightmares. the knowledge that it came from the individual fate had decided to pair you with may as well have been the jest of the century.

so yeah you want this over with so you could get the last laugh.

with Jenna’s assent, the officer clears the few steps needed to join his peers where after a short order, the final steel doors began to part.

jenna doesn’t move forward, so neither do you. though you can’t help the slight tense in your limbs as you prepare for ... what a fight or flight?

there was research, anecdotes and stories about the first gaze but you never really summed up what you thought your experience would be.

‘you’re beautiful’

you’d heard it so many times before. would it really be so different this time?

what you notice first is the bareness of the room, appearing as just that, an empty space. well not completely empty; for at its center was a man. one who someone took up every parameter while only being rooted in a single square.

UNICORNS holding measures were … questionable, leaving him in a simple chair with only what you imagined were handcuffs to keep him rooted. this man who nearly cleared an entire squadron. though you supposed an escape wouldn’t come easy for him.

him, who was not just a man, but the dangerous leader to an illegal organization chasing the aether core. a figure with ashen hair and vermillion eyes. a figure with ashen hair and vermillion eyes, likely deprived of rest since his capture, though he didn't give off the impression of losing any sleep over it. he also sported more than a few smudges of dark crimson, making him appear every bit as dangerous as his lore suggested.

you think you hear a sound of protest from jenna as you take a challenging step forward, but it falls on deaf ears as inquisitiveness wins out.

he certainly fit the bill of a criminal figure. yet as he sat there, chained to a simple chair, chest rising with each breath with that slight tilt of his lips. there was just something else that made it hard to believe that this could possibly be your soulmate, questionable choices aside.

the man seemed to take your silence as an invitation as he spoke first.

“you’re beautiful.”

and in that instance, all of the violence and ominousness bled away, leaving just a man tied to a chair with dark eyes looking up at you with expectation.

you don’t realize your lips are curling downward as your eyes flicker back to his hands which were pinned behind his back.

and with your next words you sealed your fate forever.

“sorry, I’m not into subs.”

#sylus love and deepspace #sylus x reader #lnd sylus #love and deepspace #lnd x reader #love and deepspace imagine #i also havent opened the game in like weeks and i think its humorous how one 'bad' boy can drag me back in #;conflicted constrast

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lynlee494 · 3 months

Text

Winterhawk Community Sourced Recommendations, A Master List

This post is a long time coming, but finally I’ve finished a master list from when this fandom really helped me out.

The original post is here:

^ Just in case I have forgotten or skipped over a recommendation, or if more are added in the comments since making this post.

My original plea for help was, for context on the type of recommendations you may find (though delightfully, there are others mixed in):

‘I'm looking for Winterhawk fic recommendations.

Ones where Clint finds/meets the WS (as either Hawkeye or an AU Clint, not picky)

Or ones where it is Winterhawk with a Hurt Bucky or Bucky in Distress kind of vibe.

AU or otherwise, even if it is a full on Clint/Bucky AU.’ I also had asked simply for favorite authors and favorite stories. The answers were plentiful and wide spreading, and I’m still making my through (I am a multishipper as long as one of ‘em is Bucky Barnes – welcome to my hyper fixation. So I jump around).

So, in thanks to so many who took time to dig for the recommendations, I wish to spread the love and make it easier to view what others took the time to dig up for me. It really did help. ❤️

I tried to make it easy and may have gone overboard, but hopefully ‘Ctrl-F’ or copy + pasting the text because I typed this out instead of using image snips (oh my gods the time this whole thing took) makes it easier to search tags.

Hopefully this helps others, and so now, organized for all our reading pleasure: A special thanks to sunny-rants for jumping in to give recommendations sooo fast!

*Please note: I have included tags, but not pairings, for times sake. All the stories are Winterhawk, and I believe there was a Clint/Bucky/Steve as well. *I also did not include archive warnings, etc. so please review the tags at your own risk.

*Also, cause I’m absolutely shameless, if you want to include anymore recs, that would be amazing… just putting that out there. Also, don't worry if you think it may be a repeat, I can always sort it out/organize later. (wink, wink: got any bottom Bucky, angst, long fics, AUs (current fav)? Clint taking care of Bucky etc.?)

'Keep Reading' for the recommendations bestowed upon me in an hour of need, along with summary, tags, and wordcount

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889561/chapters/8697424

Summary:

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Tags: Discussion of Canon Child Abuse; Discussion of Canon Brainwashing; Seizures; Epilepsy; Fluff; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Strike Team Delta (Marvel); Sharing a Bed; Sharing Body Heat; Stranded; Slow Burn Word count: 67k+

(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)

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Outnumbered by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954669

Summary:

Bucky Barnes returns to Brooklyn ready to get back into the world, make friends and sleep with Steve's super hot neighbor. The fact that the guy turns out to be a single dad to two-year-old triplets who spend most of their time causing mischief, trouble and mayhem doesn't deter Bucky at all. Steve would like it on record that he thinks Bucky is insane.

Tags: Kid Fic; Parent Clint Barton; Triplets; Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes; Steve Is a Good Bro; Bucky comes home to New York; Single Dad Clint Barton; Deaf Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; PTSD RECOVERY; Happy Bucky Barnes; Kids; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Clint Barton is terrible at relationships; Insecure Clint; Happy Ending

Word count: 18k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Play It Again by sakkakitty

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206579/chapters/35269208

Summary: After a mix-up in a Hydra base, Bucky Barnes finds himself transported to the 21st century.

Tags: Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; WinterHawk Big Bang 2018; Time Travel; Pre-Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Canon-Typical Violence; Background Stony – Freeform

Word count: 100k+

(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)

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Nobody Lost, Nobody Found by ClaraxBarton

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634884/chapters/36306264

Summary:

"Look, dude, I get it. You’re fucked-up. HYDRA fucked you up. I’ve been there. But you’re my fucking Soul Mate!"

“I can kill you. I could kill you without even realizing what I was doing. I’m not fucked-up, I’m a monster. I’m a nightmare. You can’t be here. You can’t- All the people I’ve killed- I will not murder my Soul Mate too. Not after everything else I’ve-”

Clint worked his left hand between their bodies and managed to land a punch to the man’s right side, forcing him to shift his weight, and Clint brought his right hand down on the place where the man’s metal arm met his torso - hidden by the shirt he wore, but on full display in the video Clint had watched.

The man released Clint with a grunt of pain, and Clint pressed his advantage, landing another punch to his abdomen, backing him up against the opposite side of the RV and then pressing the kitchen knife he had pocketed while cleaning up earlier to the man’s throat.

“Like I said, I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m plenty dangerous myself. We clear on that?”

OR:

This looks bad, because it is.

OR:

How Clint Barton met his Soul Mate

Tags: Soulmates; Soul Bond; winterhawk – Freeform; Slow Burn; No I mean the slowest of burns; Canon-Typical Violence; canon divergent/canon meandering starting with Age of Ultron; Smut; eventually I swear; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Angst; Feelings; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Feels; Steve Rogers Needs a Hug; BAMF Clint Barton; BAMF Natasha Romanov; Oral Sex; Frottage

Word Count: 108k+

(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)

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Choose Every Single Day by Noxnthea

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28708083/chapters/70385346

Summary:

Clint has once again been wrangled into doing something because Natasha thinks it’ll be good for him; he’s not sure why she thinks she needs therapy too, but he knows better than to question her logic at this point.

Bucky’s doubtful that group therapy is going to do much for his crippling sense of self-loathing (and to be honest, he really doesn’t want the help), but Steve’s convinced it will be beneficial for both of them to learn to deal with the mistakes from their past.

None of them ever expected to have to deal with secret government organizations, eccentric billionaires, or unwanted super powers on top of their personal problems, but then, they are already paying Sam.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting; TherapyCanon-Typical Violence; Clint Barton's low self-esteem; Sam Wilson is a Saint; Everyone Needs A Hug; Deaf Clint Barton; Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot; Group Therapy; Slow Burn; seriously the slowest this is a fic first and foremost about individual growth; Found Family; Misunderstandings; Getting Together; wanda maximoff is everyone's little sister

Word count: 103k+

(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)

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Gold On Your Fingertips by Kangofu_CB

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21434821/chapters/51074443

Summary:

“So,” he said, unwrapping the foil of the bar, “I’m Clint.”

The Soldier just blinked at him, caught somewhere between confused and surprised.

Which, fair, Clint got that a lot.

But he figured the Soldier hadn’t expected him to acquiesce so quickly, and Clint fully intended to capitalize on that, either in information or opportunity to escape or both.

He flashed a half-smile at the other man, one he’d flashed at a dozen other people in the last few years, one that got him a second look at least seventy percent of the time, and a quickie a fairly significant portion of that. He stretched his arms up over his head and cracked his spine, working the stiffness out of the shoulder that had, until ten seconds ago, been shackled to the furniture.

“This is the part where you tell me your name.” Clint said. “Or something to call you by,” he amended.

Or: Clint meets his soulmate.

Tags: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Circus Performer Clint Barton; baby criminal clint barton; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant; or anything after that either; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Kidnapping; Deaf Clint Barton; Breaking and Entering; Voyeurism; Exhibitionism; Masturbation; wow that escalated quickly; Himbo Clint Barton; Diners; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Bucky Barnes Remembers; On the Run; Canon-Typical Violence; Shooting Guns; bad guys die etc etc; minor descriptions of wounds and wound care; barney barton sucks you can't change my mind; so does Trickshot; hydra also sucks; getting in a brawl with the Avengers was a bad idea; it's not Clint's fault; except for how it kind of is; Protective Clint Barton; Competent Clint Barton; Rutting; Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm; Disappointed Steve Rogers; but he gets over it; eventually; bad jokes and worse ideas; hey kids who wants to be an avenger?

Word count: 27k+

(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)

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Like Real People Do by Kangofu_CB

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937667/chapters/37163564

Summary:

And now Steve had brought him home like a goddamn found puppy he wanted to keep.

“What the fuck, Rogers?” Clint asked, his hands itching for a bow, a gun, an anything, but not stupid enough to make any sudden moves. There was no way to casually reach for the pistol he’d tucked into the back of his jeans, not with Steve so close and the Winter Soldier so unkillable.

“He’s not the Winter Soldier,” Steve said in a rush of expelled air, reading the tension in Clint’s arms correctly. “He’s Bucky Barnes.”

Either there were two silver-armed motherfuckers running around - and Clint could believe anything at this point - or this situation was even more bizarre than he’d first thought. And he knew bizarre. He’d been part of a circus.

A love story involving Billboard's Top 100, chopping firewood, and not looking like incognito serial killers when out on the town.

Tags: Cabin Fic; Tropes; Slow Burn; or at least my version of it; learning to be people again; sniper assassin courtship rituals; sniper nerds; Things This Is Canon Compliant With: Nothing; actually not true; possibly canon compliant with Captain America: TFA and also Iron Man; but I'm not positive; Civil War Fix-It; I honestly just wanted to watch these two idiots fall in love in a secluded cabin ok; Canon-Typical Violence; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; FlashbacksPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Canon Disabled Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Texas Two Stepping is a thing; Sorry Not Sorry; tags updated to include country music; winterhawk – Freeform;magic woodland archer cabin; HYDRA supersoldiers; a small selection of violence; Canon-Typical Injuries; a tiny bit of angst; Happy Ending; found family trope abounds; Sex

Word count: 67k+

(rec by tumblr: @sishal01)

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Making Me A Habit by Kangofu_CB

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706253

Summary:

Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop. He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.

(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)

Tags: Modern Era; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Bucky Barnes Has PTSD; Civilian Clint Barton; Pet Adoption; Kittens; so many kittens; Archery Instructor Clint Barton; Alternate Universe - Pet Store; Slow Burn; Pining; Misunderstandings; WinterHawk Big Bang; Word count: 20k+

(rec by tumblr: @sishal01) (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Look What The Cat Dragged In by flawedamythyst

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27084847/chapters/66134170

Summary:

The Winter Soldier was looming over him, dressed in full combat gear and hung all about with weapons. Blood was seeping out of a wound on his arm and there was a smear of it down his cheek that was starting to flake off as it dried. He was staring at Clint with a jaw-clenchingly intense glare and Clint felt every cell in his body freeze up under his scrutiny, expecting pain of some kind.

Instead, the Winter Soldier held a fist out containing Clint’s hearing aids and then, once he’d tucked them in pretty much on autopilot, thrust a cat in Clint’s face and growled out, “Tell me about this kitten,” like he was demanding the passwords to a nuclear weapon.

Somehow Clint ends up co-owning a kitten with the Winter Soldier.

Tags: Bucky Barnes is a Cat Lover; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes has a sweet tooth; Alpine – Freeform; Clint Barton Is a Good Bro; Just Add Kittens; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Domestic Fluff

Word count: 22k

(rec by tumblr: @sishal01) (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Sing Me That Old Song Again by mariana_oconnor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12976866

Summary:

After breaking free from Hydra's control, James Barnes is keeping his head down. Captain America and his team are miles away, and he's better off alone. He's not expecting to be found by an Avenger. An Avenger who proves hard to get rid of.

Somehow, in spite of himself, Hawkeye ends up growing on him, and he realises that maybe alone isn't the best way to be.

But as Bucky's working out his own past, Hawkeye's coming face to face with his. They never should have gone to Budapest.

Tags:

Alternate Universe – Canon; Bucky Barnes's Notebooks; Road Trips; Sort Of; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang; Bucky Barnes's Plums; Deaf Clint Barton; Hurt Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Bucky Barnes Remembers; Bucky Barnes Needs a HugWhat Happened in Budapest

Word count: 27k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Warming Up by pherryt

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19003336/chapters/45126904

Summary:

The last thing Clint expected when SHIELD went down and he had to make his way to his safehouse was to find the Winter Soldier already using it.

No, maybe the last thing he expected was for all his survival instincts to say screw it, and let him stay.

This couldn't possibly go wrong, could it?

Tags: Implied Tony/Steve – Freeform; Brainwashing; post winter soldier; deaf!cllnt; PTSD; Nightmares; hurt; comfort; bed sharing; tub sharing; Cuddle for Warmth; some violence but not too graphic; First Kiss; Low Self Esteem; Misunderstandings; hurt!Clint; First Aid; Running Away; Artist!Steve; mild to moderate hypothermia; Snowed In; cint's farm; PiningMutual Pining; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; safehouse

Word count: 45k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Sticks and Strings and Christmas Things by PhoukasPenmanship

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5433500

Summary:

12 connecting vignettes for the "12 Days of Winterhawk" prompt challenge.

Tags: 12 Days of Winterhawk; Christmas Fluff; Swearing; Slow Burn; A little angst; Family of Choice; deaf!Clint

Word count: 66k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Nowhere You Can Be by jstabe https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012795

Summary:

Sometimes fate gets a little help from FedEx.

Tags: Bucky Barnes Recovering; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; References to Depression; Happy Ending; Alternate Universe - No Powers

Word count: 26k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

___________________

Lucky in Love by dr_girlfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17230013/chapters/40516820

Summary: Clint is only a couple of sips into his cardboard cup of coffee, his brain barely out of neutral, which is probably why it takes him so long to realize that some damn psycho is trying to kidnap his dog.

Excerpt:

“I’m not some charity case,” Bucky says pugnaciously.

“I didn’t think you were,” Clint answers back readily enough. “I mean, I can tell you’re fucked up for sure, but of the two of us, I’m probably the bigger disaster. My sleep schedule is shit, and I drink coffee straight from the pot. I sing in the shower even though I’m deaf as fuck. I have arrows everywhere because I’m an archer — did I tell you that? And I was raised in a literal circus, so I’m not exactly domestic. Let’s see, what else?” He squints down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I won the building in a poker game with the Russian mafia and every once in awhile they show up and try to take it back, but usually I handle it, no problem. Uh...”

Clint happens to looks up and Bucky’s eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open. Clint’s hand freezes where he’s rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. Yeah, when you put it all out there at once, it doesn’t sound so good.

Tags: Fluff; Romance; Slow Burn; Oh my god they were roommates!; Alternate Universe - No Powers; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Ableist Language; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Mutual Pining; Hurt/Comfort; Touch-Starved; Friends to Lovers; Fraction/Aja Comic-based Clint Barton; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; Ambiguous Cuddling; Touch Aversion; I Dunno Maybe a Little Praise Kink?; Circus Veteran! Clint Barton; SHIELD Veteran! Clint Barton; Slow Build; meet ugly; Idiots in Love; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; References to Depression; Not Gonna Tag Every Sex Act Just Trust Me There's Plenty; Body Worship; A Little Gentle Dominance Stuff Maybe?; Edging; Crying During Sex; What Can I Say the Winterhawk Crowd Are Dirty Enablers; #Make Clint Cry 2019; meet cute; Deaf Character Word count: 59k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Battle Born by sian1359

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7960690

Summary:

Bucky Barnes decides he needs to come in from the cold soon after the events that happened in DC. He can't go to Steve or Natalia, as both would have expectations of a man he cannot ever be again. So he turns to someone who wouldn't have any expectations: Clint Barton.

Tags: Slice of Life; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; Angst with a Happy Ending; Relationship(s)Aftermath; Hydra (Marvel)Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Word count: 22k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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The Anthem of a Dead Man Walking by EVVS

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962379

Summary:

“I’m Clint,” he says again, knowing that he’s going to have to force this if he’s not going to go insane in here. He lasted this long, but knowing that there’s someone else? Someone else who he could talk with? No, he needs that right now. So badly. Someone who isn’t Tasha coming in to update him on the real world. Someone else who’ll help him make fun of the guards and maybe who’ll harmonize with him to Bohemian Rhapsody. He’s not looking for a new best friend, just someone who’ll commiserate. “I’m gonna call you John.”

There’s some movement. Sounds like someone’s head bumping the wall. “Why John?”

“Since you aren’t giving me your name to work with, you’re a John Doe to me, right? So I’ll just… call you John.”

Tags: Prison; Suicide mention; alcohol mention; Courtroom Drama; Crayons are involved; Not Canon Compliant; Marvel Universe

Word count: 14k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Outnumbered by sara-holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954669

Summary:

Word count: 18k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

___________________

Falling Off the Face of the Earth by Teeelsie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12951468

Summary:

Cap relaxes his hold, but he stays where he is, still looming over him. “Clint. The compound’s been breached,” Rogers whispers urgently, then finally sits back and lets go of him.

There’s another explosion, closer this time and throwing more light. He turns his head sharply and sees Bucky Barnes hovering near the door, looking… off. Clint pushes Rogers and he finally stands up so Clint can scramble out of the bed and grab some clothes. He’s wearing only boxers because it’s fucking hot in Wakanda, and he catches Barnes’ eyes flicking across his body.

Clint long ago stopped being bothered by people’s reactions to the many scars on his body – not that that many people actually see them - but that doesn’t mean he appreciates when they stare. “Like what you see?” he asks with a hard edge as he pulls on his shirt. Barnes turns his head, at least having the decency to look embarrassed for being caught staring.

Rogers looks at them both impatiently and quickly switches gears. “Clint, I need you to take Bucky. Get him out of Wakanda and somewhere safe.”

OR Bucky and Clint fall into each other. Bad shit happens. Then it all works out in the end.

Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie); On the Run; BAMF Clint Barton; BAMF Bucky Barnes; Developing Relationship; Slow Build; Brainwashing; Mind Control; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Clint!Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Angst; winterhawk – Freeform; Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang; WinterHawk Big Bang; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Long Live Feedback Comment Project

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

(author rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)

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Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889561Summary:

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; sniper bros; References to PTSD; Therapy; Recovery; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Avengers Family; Avengers Tower; Bonding; Drinking; Alcohol; Steve Feels; Protective Steve; Tony Stark Needs a Hug; Tony Feels; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Is a Good Bro; Bucky Barnes Feels; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Ceiling Vent Clint Barton; Humor; Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism; do not copy to another site

Word count: 67k+

(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Broken But Mending By Lissadiane

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782863

Summary:

Bucky's not sure what he expects when he picks up the free local paper in his therapist's office, but it's not advice on losing things in his butt, that's for sure.

In which Bucky Barnes is a recovering war vet with a whole bunch of issues, none of which can be solved by a small time sex advice therapist, no matter how pretty his smile is. Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Discussions of Asexuality; sex advice columnist Clint; Panic Attacks

Word count: 15k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)

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Silhouette by mariana_oconnor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956760/chapters/18197191

Summary: After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.

On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated. Tags: Alternate Universe; SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Agent Steve Rogers; Assassin Clint Barton; Assassin Natasha Romanov; Slow Build; very slow build; WinterHawk Big Bang; winterhawk – Freeform; Natasha Is a Good Bro; Mission Fic; A lot of people get assassinated; Torture; Mentions of past brainwashing; epic bromances; Deaf Clint Barton; Identity Porn; Steve Rogers is a little shit; Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro;

Word count: 105k+

(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘Silhouette is such an awesome fic, with a cool flip where Clint is the assassin and Bucky is the SHIELD agent’)

___________________

All My Mistakes by ClaraxBarton

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14774933/chapters/34171013Summary:

Next job I’m taking is going to be south of the equator, Clint promised himself as he finished zipping up his down coat. He wished he had another. He was already wearing a black balaclava and a black beanie, thermal underwear under his clothes and two pairs of pants, but it was freezing on the rooftop.

The wind and the fine, misty rain that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be snow, ice or rain definitely didn’t help matters.

Clint hated the cold.

He didn’t understand why millionaire criminal masterminds couldn’t meet in exotic, warm locations to do their deals.

If he was a millionaire criminal mastermind, he sure as hell wouldn’t do deals in London in February.

-o-

It's February, 1999, and Clint Barton is about to encounter the Winter Soldier

Tags: Pre-Canon; or well pre-Avengers; Clint still doing his solo assassin thing; Smut; Adventure; Action; Angst; plumbing; Coffee; Spanking; jumping off roofs; shooting bad guys; Movie References; winterhawk – Freeform; Word count: 10k+ (rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘All My Mistakes is actually exactly what you were asking for, with Clint running into Bucky when he's still the winter soldier’)

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The Other Man out of Time by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6004771

Summary:

Also known as Time Travelling Clint Wrecks the Universe.

Due to The Time Stone having a great day screwing around the fabric of reality, Clint finds a copy of himself thrown back into Normandy, 1944. Cue Clint 2.0 meeting Bucky Barnes, the Howling Commandos and a pretty different version of Steve.

Tags: Time Travel; Author has messed with timelines again; Dubious Science; The Time Stone; World War II; WWII Bucky Barnes; Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Clint Barton-centric; Deaf Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; The Asset remembers; Original Character Death(s)Falling In Love; Angst and Hurt/Comfort; Humor Word count: 97k+

(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘And, The Other Man Out of Time is one of my absolute favourite Winterhawk fics’)

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Hope It Leaves a Mark by thepartyresponsible

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26762500

Summary: A collection of short fics inspired by the 2020 whumptober challenge.

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence; Fluff and Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Word count: 72k+

(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘Also 'Hope it Leaves a Mark' is just a collection of truly awesome short fics that I wish were each long 100k fics, they're all that good and interesting (even the ones that aren't even Winterhawk, the author just writes so well and does such awesome things with Clint, Bucky and Frank’))

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Americana is for Lovers by ccbytheseashore

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10129133/chapters/22524080

Summary: Please tell me you are still alive, read Steve's text.

In Virginia, Bucky replied.

The hell are you doing in Virginia?

Would you believe me if I said trying to find a foam sculpture of Stonehenge?

Tony said to make sure his car comes back in once piece. Please don't shoot each other.

Clint and Bucky set off on an adventure to find an infamous work of Americana history, but find literally everything else (including love) instead.

Tags: Road Trips; Americana; Sexual Content; Developing Relationship; Getting Together; monstrous abuses against perfectly good bedframes

Word count: 8k+

(rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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Bent by jstabe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413493

Summary: “My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

He felt Clint’s lips curl up where they were resting at his temple. “Yes.”

“I am an Avenger.” Which was frankly ridiculous and impossible to believe sometimes, but it was true so it went on the list. Tags: Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Past Rape/Non-con Word count: 3k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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I'll Keep You Safe Here With Me by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907085/chapters/4113102

Summary: Yes, Clint is avoiding the other Avengers. No, he does not want to go back to New York. But then again, he didn't exactly want to be kidnapped by the Winter Soldier either. Really, he just wants to go back to bed. Tags: Kidnapping; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Canon-Typical Violence; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Where the hell was Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; Clint Barton Feels; Depression; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Implied Relationships; Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark; Panic Attacks Word count: 110k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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A Little Less Bloodshed Would Be Nice by youcancallmearrow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972900

Summary: Clint Barton may be a human train wreck, but when it comes to befriending ex-mind controlled assassins, he's pretty much the best there is. Unfortunately, he's not nearly as good at being kind to himself. Lucky for him, Bucky's got it covered. Tags: Fluff with Feels; pizza dog – Freeform; Mind Control; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; You Will Pry Jarvis Out of My Cold Dead Hands; Falling In Love; Domestic Avengers; Dog Cops; WinterHawk Big Bang; Angst; Comfort; Tony Is a Good Bro

Word count: 8k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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A Thistle Cannot Grow by ccbytheseashore

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956835

Summary: Clint stood at the bottom of the stairs in his boxer shorts and socks with his bow aimed at Bucky Barnes.

Bucky held his hands up in a placating gesture. “I didn't mean to sneak up on you.”

Clint didn't lower the bow.

“I didn't know you had a kid,” Bucky added conversationally.

“I should shoot your ass on principle.”

Tags: Kid Fic; Deaf Clint Barton; Developing Relationship; Getting Together; Panic Attacks; Mild Hurt/Comfort; WinterHawk Big Bang; Happy Ending; Sexual Content; Frottage; winterhawk – Freeform; Word count: 12k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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Liminal Spaces by thepartyresponsible

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086175

Summary: “Clint,” Steve says, and it’s that same no-bullshit, do-or-die, I really, really mean it voice he used to trot out in the last few innings of close games in high school. “Bucky’s not gonna fly. He’s not going to drive himself. He can’t— I need you to drive him here.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Clint says, and hangs up. Tags: Alternate Universe - Road Trip; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Idiots in Love; Mutual Pining; Exes; Angst with a Happy Ending; Past Child Abuse; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug Word count: 20k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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Draw, Breathe, Fire by FestiveFerret

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218880

Summary: If Bucky's not the Winter Soldier - not a weapon - anymore, then who is he?

And who is this smart-mouthed, cocky, flirty, pushy archer, Clint Barton? Tags: Bucky Barnes Recovering; Falling In Love; Get Together; Romance; Flirting; Banter; Hurt Clint Barton; Clint Barton's Bow & Arrows; Bucky Learns to Archery; Bucky Barnes Has PTSD; First Kiss; Sexual Content; Animal Shelters; Ferrets; Noodle no Noodling; Little bit of angst; lotta fluff

Word count: 14k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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if god is in the lens by shatteredhourglass

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123954

Summary:

The Asset pauses. He remembers the first few days after dragging St- dragging Captain America out of the water, the aimless emptiness that had filled him, with no mission and no knowledge of what to do next. He’d spent a week staring at the peeling wallpaper in a motel. There had been butterflies patterned on it. He hadn’t known what direction to go in next, because he was (is) scared of Captain America, and he didn’t want anything to do with Hydra, and he’d just… stopped. That’s when he realizes Barton isn’t going to move unless he gives the man a reason to move, something to do that isn’t related to a past he can’t remember or the threat of imminent death. (It’s been burned out of him, the Asset can relate.)

A mission.

He's leaning on the button to the microphone before he thinks about it. “Come with me and you can kill more of them.”

Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Recovery; Denial; Brainwashing; Protective Steve Rogers; Bucky Learns To Be A Person Again; Blood and Violence; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Bucky Barnes Feels; Psychological Trauma; Angst and Hurt/Comfort; Mostly On Bucky's Part; Clint's Just Like 'Ah Yes This Is My Life Now'; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Hand Jobs Word count: 40k+

(rec by – tumblr: @luredin)

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Got a Heart in Me, I Swear by thepartyresponsible

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846980

Summary: The pictures leak on a lazy off-season Sunday, in that muddled bit of midafternoon Clint never knows what to do with when he isn’t training. He curls up with Lucky on the couch and naps through the end of his whole damn life. And that, honestly, is pretty much perfect.

Tags: Alternate Universe – Baseball; Implied/Referenced Homophobia; Internalized Homophobia; Team as Family; Fluff and Angst; Mutual Pining; Idiots in Love Word Count: 36k+ (rec by – tumblr: @1968bullittmustang: ‘one of my all-time favorite au’)

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Patricia the Superior Vehicle: The Helpfulness Mission by Aelfay, pietray, Sagacity, Twindragons

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42875178

Summary: The Soldier is doing his best. He’s not quite up to trying to deal with Rogers, Steven G. (Captain), but he’s found another way to be helpful: keeping an eye on one Clint Barton. He’s kind of a mess, but that just gives the Soldier more ways to help, right?

Clint is confused about why Natasha keeps following him around – he keeps seeing glimpses of black out of the corner of his eye. The constant presence means he’s a little suspicious of his next mission. Unfortunately, it’s still not enough to keep him from being caught.

In which: Clint sings the disco stick song, Patricia is a Superior Vehicle, and the Soldier buys underwear. A balance of humor and intimacy as Clint and Bucky both recover a little bit of who they are.

Tags: Kidnapping; Cabin Fic; Mission Fic; Hand Jobs; Frottage; Deaf Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Patricia the Superior Vehicle; Disco Stick; Fluff and Smut

Word count: 16k+

(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)

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What Happens in Vegas… by Aelfay, Twindragons

Summary: Clint gets sent to check on a 'friend' of Natasha's in Las Vegas. Only this place is really nice, and her 'friend' is hot as hell. How is he meant to cope!? Answer: he can't. Featuring bunny ears, a fluffy tail, and Clint never quite having enough clothes.

Tags: Pole Dancing; Aerial silks; casino – Freeform; Crack Treated Seriously; Looney Tunes – Freeform; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Natasha Romanov is a good friend; Illustrated; Don't post on another site; Clint Barton loses it when Bucky pole dances; brief masturbation

Word count: 10k+

(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)

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Boys of Summer by Aelfay

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21711700

Summary:

Bucky wants a goat. He gets robots, a dog, and Clint Barton.

And the goat.

Tags: Trashcan the Goat; James "Bucky" Barnes; Clint Barton; Steve Rogers; Tony Stark; Natasha Romanov (Marvel); DUM-Ebite-Size; U (robot); Cricket (robot); Hamburger Helper (robot); Fidget (robot);

(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)

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Fair Game by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Summary:

...being courted by a wolf!shifter is hard.

When Clint accepts the Game Warden/Shifter Pack Liaison position in Willow’s Run he thinks he'll be signing hunting licenses and maybe writing a few tickets. He doesn't expect to start a brawl on day one, be claimed by the definitely scary Beta!Wolf Bucky on day two and begin what might be the worlds slowest courtship.

...oops?

Eventually Clint settles into his new role, strikes up a friendship with precocious scientist!Tony and a careful affair with Bucky. He navigates awkward shifter courtship rituals and misunderstandings, surprising romance and increasingly bitey kisses and for a while, all is well in the mountains.

But hunting season brings strangers to the town and when increased tension and broken rules bring up old prejudices and new fears, their quiet life turns dangerous.

Clint has his hands full with aggressive hunters, defensive pack members and a town pushed towards chaos.

Torn between the law and what his heart wants, the Game Warden knows something's gotta give--

--but will that 'something' end up driving Bucky and the pack away?

Tags: winterhawk - FreeformStony – Freeform; Shifter AU; Wolf Shifters; Strangers to Lovers; True Mates; Matt Fraction's Hawkeye; Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship; awkward dating; Werewolf Courting; Hunters vs Shifters; Fluff and Humor; FunnyAngst and Feels; Mild Peril; Falling In Love; Developing Relationship; Awesome Clint Barton; Tony Stark Does What He Wants; Alpha Steve Rogers; Bucky Barnes Feels; Pack Dynamics; Hurt Characters; Hurt/Comfort; sex then feelings; Eventual love confessions; happily ever after guaranteed;

Word count: 139,000k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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if you were a mythical thing by Kangofu_CB

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42952029/chapters/107913444

Summary:

After winding up in hot water with the Ukrainian mob, Clint finds himself relocating to a small town in northern Indiana to work as an elementary school gym teacher, and finds his new home invaded by a series of suspiciously wolfish puppies determined to be Lucky's BFFs, and his life invaded by over zealously friendly neighbors determined to feed him. In a startling twist of events, three of his favorite students happen to be his next door neighbors, along with their ruinously hot single dad Bucky, who proves to be just as enamored of Clint as he is of Bucky.

What follows is a classic rendition of thirsting over the hot neighbor, bizarre small-town behavior, and so many puppies.

Tags: modern suburban fantasy au; Alternate Universe – Teachers; Kid Fic; Werewolves; disconcertingly friendly locals; puppy invasions; bizarre subtle interrogations; roving packs of scheming children; awkward seduction attempts via edible arrangements; a ruinously hot single dad; Werewolf Courting; Werewolf Mates; Oblivious Clint Barton; Protective Natasha Romanov; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Alpha Steve Rogers; Peggy was and remains a spy and it shows; Sam Wilson is a Gift; First Dates; Slow Burn; the things werewolves find attractive are more surprising than you think; SexAnal Sex; First Time; fluff and joy and jokes mostly; No Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Word count: 74k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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Lost & Found by mariana_oconnor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230097

Summary:

Clint Barton’s got a bag full of stolen money and a burning desire to stay under the radar. His old friends in the Carnival will be looking for him and they sure as hell won’t be happy. In a desperate attempt to stay off their radar, he ends up in Timely, a small town so far off the beaten track he’s surprised he even found it, and waits for Barney to comes and get him. Because Barney will be coming. Clint knows he will.

But there's something about the town. Maybe it's the strange wolf that watches him from the trees, and the way people finish conversations when he enters a room. Or it could be the bartender, Bucky, who decided to hate him on sight. Something’s going on in this small town, and Clint’s not sure if he’s jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Tags: Alternate Universe – Werecreatures; Werewolf Bucky Barnes; Werewolf Steve Rogers; Werefox Natasha Romanov; Protective Natasha Romanov; Carson's Carnival; Hard of Hearing Clint Barton; Canon Disabled Character; Bucky Barnes Has Issues; People Trafficking; forced cage fighting; dubiously consensual heavy petting; on the part of the petter; Pack Dynamics; Not Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics; But Steve is the alpha; Sheriff Steve Rogers; Bartender Bucky Barnes; Criminal Clint Barton; Werewolves; werewolves mate for life; Clint Barton's Excellent Self Esteem; Barney Barton's A+ Brothering; Barney Barton is not a good bro; WinterHawk Big Bang; Implied past emotional abuse; Identity Porn; Slow Burn; Enemies to Friends to Lovers; Public Sex; Inadvisable attitudes to wild animals; Seriously people; Don't Try This At Home; Clint Barton is not a good role model

Word count: 89k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

___________________ Mokusatsu by shadesfalcon (Wintershieldhawk)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227904

Summary:

Clint Barton has been strung along from abusive relationship to abusive relationship all his life. Not that he would use the word “abusive”. He would argue that, as a sub, he was born to take whatever it is his dom feels like throwing at him.

But even with that attitude, he’s nervous about his current situation. Trapped in a bureaucratically mandated relationship with not one but two doms is going to be difficult and dangerous. Especially since these two doms are both members of the Avengers themselves.

He hopes that whenever he disappoints them, they’ll have at least a little pity on him, even though he knows he won’t deserve it.

Tags: Alternate Universe – BDSM; Dom/sub; Power Imbalance; Communication Failure; and given that power imbalance those communications failures have real consequences; Spanking; Belts; Canes; Bondage; Hurt/Comfort; references to past abuse; accidental abuse; Unhealthy Relationships With Food; self-harming behaviors; Sub Clint Barton; Dom Bucky Barnes; Dom Steve Rogers; Domestic Violence; Sexual Content; Angst with a Happy Ending; Polyamory

Word count: 125k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

___________________ Speechless by sara_holmes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5647540

Summary: It's not that Bucky doesn't want to talk. It's that sometimes (most of the time) he can't. So learning ASL is 50% getting around that slight issue and 50% getting Steve to shut his cake-hole about the necessity of him learning to speak again.

Well, to begin with. Then it's pretty much all about him falling head-over-heels for his incredibly hot - yet slightly tragic - ASL teacher.

Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers; Deaf Clint Barton; ASL teacher Clint Barton; Mutism; Bucky Barnes Feels; Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship; Anxiety; Anxiety Disorder; Therapy; Physical Therapy; Mentions of PTSD; Steve and Bucky are ex military; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Happy Ending; Humor; Fluff; Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm; dumb boys; Falling In Love; an incident with an egg; Clint Barton is tragic and adorable and not as dumb as he makes out Word count: 10k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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Hipsters get Remembered, Legends Never Die by sara_holmes https://archiveofourown.org/works/17471969/chapters/41145935

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a broke millennial hipster and one-armed veteran who somehow ends up as a science project for Tony Stark, a PA for Steve Rogers and a fling for Clint Barton. What even is his life.

Tags: Modern Bucky Barnes; Awesome Clint Barton; Commander Rogers; SHIELD 2.0; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Canon Disabled Character; Millennial Bucky; Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Recovery; Do not repost; Do not post to other sites Word count: 89k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘this is a different take with hipster!Bucky and he's annoying but in a good way lol’)

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This Just In by Noxnthea https://archiveofourown.org/works/44128362

Summary: George C @dapperdanman if I was Hawkeye this might be the worst day of my life. 1: I get the shit beat out of me. 2: I find out my Soulmate is the Winter Soldier. 3: I pass out while a villain is monologuing at me on live television and the internet makes a meme of me talking about sandwiches in my sleep.

Clint and Bucky are having a rough month, and the whole world has something to say about it.

Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Identity Reveal; Light Angst; Humor; Epistolary; Chatting & Messaging; Social Media; News Media; Texting; Twitter; reddit; YouTube; POV Outsider; The Avengers vs their worst foe yet: the media; Clint vs his self-esteem; Slow Burn; Even though the news moves fast; Steve Rogers Rages Against The Machine; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Somebody tell these people to hire a PR team Word count: 29k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘there's social media posts in this fic and it's so well written I could cry’)

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Complications by flawedamythyst https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700921/chapters/15325426 Summary:

Clint's got a plan to retire and go find himself a simple life at his family's old farm. Simple is good, right? Easy to remember. Simple is why he doesn't really mind that his soul-print has never activated, because a soulmate could only add another layer of complexity to his life.

And then the Winter Soldier turns up at his archery range on the Avengers base, and simple slips through Clint's fingers.

Post Age-of-Ultron (minus Clint's wife&kids) Soulmate AU.

Massive thanks to Chucksauce for betaing. Tags: Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Main Pairing is Clint/Bucky; Mention of past violence towards children

Word count: 84k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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A Heart Worth Loving by Kangofu_CB

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34870519

Summary: Fate has it out for Clint Barton.

After a few too many heartbreaks, he's given up looking for his Soulmate; who needs happily ever after anyway? He’s perfectly content with his dog, his job, guarding eccentric billionaires, and drinking Natasha’s contraband vodka. Just ask anyone.

So he doesn’t think anything about inviting a random sex worker home for coffee to get him out of the cold - no need for any special company, thanks - because that’s just the decent thing to do. But when he keeps meeting Bucky again and again, it’s not fate he’s gotta worry about, it’s his heart.

Bucky’s just living his life. He’s got work he doesn’t hate, a degree program he loves, and and a side project out to prove Green Arrow's archery antics aren't possible outside the comics. He’ll meet his Soulmate when the time is right, but for now he’s content to wait.

But then his roommate pulls a Breaking Bad, leaving him caught up in an NYPD investigation, out of his regular work, and scrambling for a place to stay where his demon-cat won’t get them both evicted. Before he knows it, Clint is turning his whole life turned upside down, and Bucky thinks fate shouldn’t be tempting him.

Tags: Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Sex Worker Bucky Barnes; Sex Work; Jewish Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; SHIELD Agent Natasha Romanov; Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Modern Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Past Relationship(s); Concussions; Forced Cohabitation; Miscommunication; Fake/Pretend Relationship; Angst and Fluff and Smut; Tony Stark Does What He Wants; Pop Culture References; Archery; Masturbation in Shower; Clint is emotionally constipated; Poor attempts at seduction; the love is requited but they're both idiots; Sex; (of course there's sex - I wrote this)

Word count: 82k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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something magic, something tragic by squadrickchestopher https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487004/chapters/69802917

Summary:

After making a fatal mistake on a mission, Clint Barton vanishes into the depths of the Midwest.

What he wants is to be left alone for a bit, to take a couple weeks of peace and quiet and get his mind straight.

Instead, he finds himself caught up in a nationwide game of cat-and-mouse with a brooding, metal-armed vampire.

Natasha’s right. He’s got the worst fucking luck in the world.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements; Supernatural Creatures; Vampire Bucky Barnes; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Canon-Typical Violence; Deaf Clint Barton; Competent Clint Barton; some non-consensual biting; because Vampires; Attempted Kidnapping; Sassy Clint Barton; Other Additional Tags to Be Added; Enemies to Lovers; creative escapes; Non-Consensual Blood Drinking; Implied/Referenced Suicide; Drunken Kissing; Torture

Word count: 55k+

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘supernatural!Marvel’)

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Once Lost (now found) by Teeelsie https://archiveofourown.org/works/35419939Summary:

There’s a beat and then Phil says, “Clint, you don’t have anything to prove.”

And that stings, because, “If you think I’m doing this to prove anything to anyone, then you don’t know me half as well as I thought you did.” He hears Phil sigh on the other end of the comm. “Besides,” Clint tells him, “I’ll have back-up. I’ll have Barnes. Hawkeye out.” He reaches up and clicks off the comm, cutting off Phil’s continued objection mid-word.

Eight days these assholes have had Barnes and he’s not going to let them keep him for another hour, much less another day. He doesn’t have anything to prove, but he sure as hell isn’t going to give anyone any reason to question his actions, either. Tags: Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Blindness; On the Run; Blood and Injury; Self-Sacrifice; Hurt Bucky Barnes; Hurt Clint Barton; BAMF Bucky Barnes; BAMF Clint Barton; Developing Relationship; Rivals to Friends to WinterHawk Word count: 40k

(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)

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blood on my hands, love in my heart by hawksonfire https://archiveofourown.org/works/33643102/chapters/83604322

Summary: The lines in the Soldier’s forehead are gone in his unconsciousness, leaving a relatively young looking top half of a face. Clint has to put his bow away to get the mask off him, but it slides off pretty easy and he sets it aside.

The instant he turns back and sees the Soldier’s face, his jaw drops. “Holy fuck,” he says, astonished. “You’re Bucky goddamn Barnes.”

Tags: Deaf Clint Barton; Mercenary Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Not Canon Compliant; BAMF Phil Coulson; Director of SHIELD Peggy Carter; boomerang arrow; Sassy Clint Barton; Sassy Phil Coulson; BAMF Clint Barton; Violence only in the first and second chapter; Home Renovations; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Clint Barton's Farm; Clint Barton's Shitty Childhood; PiningMutual Pining; Sexual Tension; Nightmares; Chickens; Domesticity; Bucky Patching Clint Up; Chickenus Interruptus; Sharing a Bed; Cuddling & Snuggling; Boys In Love; Boys Kissing; Clint Barton's Arms; Hand Jobs Word count: 12k+

(self-rec by @spacey-acey-artemis: ‘this one has Hawkeye meeting the Winter Soldier’)

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blood on my hands, love in my heart by hawksonfire

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33643102

Summary: What if, after Clint Barton was left for dead by his own brother, he didn't become Ronin and instead became someone else? This is the story about the Winter Soldiers, and how they became two

Tags: Winter Soldier Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Pining; Idiots in Love; mentions of torture; Mentions of brainwashing

Word count: 7k+

(self-rec by @spacey-acey-artemis: ‘this one has a fun twist on Winter Soldier Bucky’)

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The Storm Shall Not Wake Thee by dr_girlfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52165594

Summary: Following the events of CA:TWS, the Winter Soldier finds Hawkeye. Clint is still haunted by his own experiences with having his control stripped away, but together they find a way to heal.

Excerpt:

“How did you even … how are you tracking me?” Clint tries.

The question seems to confuse Barnes even further. He looks at Clint, and then somewhere behind Clint’s shoulder, and then back to Clint’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” Barnes says again.

“Listen,” Clint says, taking a step forward, and Barnes flinches back instinctively, stumbling for a moment.

“Whoa,” Clint says. Before he knows it he’s sheathing the knife and grabbing Barnes’ arm, steadying him. Barnes blinks rapidly a few times, wobbling a bit before he seems to find his balance again. His slate-blue gaze, so intent a moment ago, seems a little unfocused.

“When’s the last time you ate? Drank something? Slept?”

“I don’t know,” Barnes says, Clint mouthing the lines along with him.

Christ, Nat is going to kill him when she finds out about this, but there’s nothing else Clint can do.

“Well, c’mon in the house. We’ll get this figured out.”

Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; Canon Divergent; Post CA:TWS; Selkie Bucky Barnes; Selkies; Deaf Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Barton Has ADHD; Demisexuality; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con; Canon Disabled Character; Secondary Relationships are Background; Matt Fraction-inspired Clint Barton; All Characters Outside of Winterhawk Are Very Background; Single POVPOV Clint Barton; Clint Barton Has Self-Esteem Issues Word count: 45k+

(self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriendrgrlfriend) (I also love their stuff, so consider this a rec from me as well! - Lynlee494)

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My Heart Will Be Your Home by dr_girlfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42901050

Summary: Four years after the Battle of New York, Clint has created a stable life for himself and his young daughter, free of the dangers of SHIELD work.

The Winter Soldier turned himself in to the Avengers, expecting a death sentence or lifetime of imprisonment. Instead, he found absolution and an invitation to join the team. He is still adjusting to life as an Avenger when he meets Clint Barton and his daughter.

The young man that Bucky Barnes used to be was wholeheartedly enthusiastic about meeting his soulmate, but Bucky is not sure there’s a place for him in his soulmate’s life anymore.

Clint has spent his whole life dreading meeting his soulmate, drawing false conclusions from the hurtful words that were spoken in haste. They are both drawn to each other and are willing to give this a try, but will have to work together to overcome the shadows of their past.

Excerpt:

It’s one of the largest soulmarks Bucky has ever seen. The script in Bucky’s neat cursive handwriting starts at the crest of one shoulder and arcs below Clint’s collarbones to end at the crest of the other shoulder, golden letters that no tattoo ink has ever been able to replicate.

What kind of idiot are you?

Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; AU; alternative universe; Soulmates; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmarks; Soul Bond; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Single Parent Clint Barton; Single Parents; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Veteran Clint Barton; Secondary Relationships are Background; Deaf Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Jewish Character; Jewish Bucky Barnes; Picking Through Canon Like a Junkyard to Find the Parts I LikeSingle POV; Referenced Canonical Character Death (Phil Coulson); Mild Derogatory Language (e.g. Idiot and Stupid); Canon Disabled Character; Disabled Character; original robot character – Freeform; Harm to a Child in the Context of a Nightmare; Fluff Word count: 49K+ (self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriend)

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Freefall by dr_girlfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36074404

Summary:

It’s a small hunting cabin. It’s unlikely to have heat or electricity, and it looks uninhabited, but it’s shelter, and Clint is beyond relieved to have managed to make it within striking distance. Just a little longer … a little farther …

It takes him long enough that he would be ashamed under any other circumstances, but eventually he gets the lock open and swings the door wide.

“Fuck me.”

It’s a small one-room cabin, dark and dusty, and notable primarily for the fact that the fucking Winter Soldier is inside, straightening up from where he was hunched by the fireplace, drawing his knife. Tags: Discussion of Canon Child Abuse; Discussion of Canon Brainwashing; Seizures; Epilepsy; Fluff; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Strike Team Delta (Marvel)Sharing a Bed; Sharing Body Heat; Stranded; Slow Burn

Word count: 49k+

(self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriendrgrlfriend)

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(Tell Me) It'll All Be Alright by Lynlee494

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54368605

Summary:

How do they do it? Boxed in like that. Back to the only open space around you? Sitting around all day. Nothing to do...” Clint’s voice is tinny through the comms. “Ooh, if you see any decent munchies, snag me a few. I missed dinner.”

“Hey, bird brain, focus. If we’re too late getting back, I can’t pick up Alpine from Kate’s till late tomorrow.” Bucky’s voice is low, while the building should be empty, they aren’t able to watch all the entrances from Clint’s angle on the opposite building. A lot of this relies on the element of surprise and stealth.

"Dude, you just walked past a break room.”

“Are you looking for stray guards, or are you looking for snacks?”

“Both, of course.” Clint scoffs on the open mic. “Wait! Nine o'clock!”

Bucky growls but reaches out and grabs a handful of caramels from a desk and puts them in the breast pocket of his tactical vest.

“You’re the best.”

“Shut up, Barton.”

Tags: Missions Gone Wrong; Hurt/Comfort; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Hurt Bucky Barnes; Protective Clint Barton; Clint & Bucky’s Mutual Love for Explosions; Canon-Typical Violence; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs A Bandaid; Whump; Clint Barton is a BAMF; Unreliable Narrator; Matt Fraction-inspired Clint BartonClint Barton Doesn't Have A Secret Family; winterhawk - Freeform; sniper bros; Pre-Slash

(self-rec by Lynlee494: *see above reference to 'shameless')

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Barton and Barnes, the Marvelous Ex-Assassins by Lynlee494

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50450977

Summary: It wouldn’t have been so bad, Bucky could have shrugged this off easily once he caught his breath, but he found the more he pulled to free himself the worse it seemed to be. Barnes thinks he hears shouting, but it is distorted and drowned out by the pounding in his ears. Ripping further at the trap that was furthering ensnaring him he found himself snarling and just ripping at it with brute strength and panicked rage that echoed of the Asset’s frustrated rampages through Hydra personnel.

Tags: Hurt Bucky Barnes; Whump; Bucky Barnes Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Whumptober; Whumptober 2023; Day 1 Prompt; Safety Net; Panic; "How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?"; Circus Performer Clint Barton; Circus Has Come To Town; Canon-Typical Violence; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Panic Attacks; Alternative Prompt; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Clint Barton Feels; Dehumanization; preslashwinterhawk - Freeform

(self-rec by Lynlee494: *see above reference to 'shameless')

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I Don't Remember How by AvaKelly (Part 1 of Kitty)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/308049

Summary:

"How the hell did they wash you," he mutters as he raises from the chair.

"Hosed the blood down," comes from behind as the Soldier follows him toward the bathroom.

Clint almost screams right then and there.

Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Where Was Clint Barton During Captain America 2?; the farm house; Gif Inspired; Oblivious Clint; there's a kitty; Memory Loss; clint adopts assassins; clint is in denial

Word count: 7k+ (Part 1) (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) (assistance from tumblr: @therulingqueen)

___________________ Nameless by AvaKelly

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827387

Summary: A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there." Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Past meetings; starcrossed assassins (not really); Memory Loss; Tattoos; jules verne references; Canon-Typical Violence; Hurt/Comfort; Recovery; Infinity Gems; Time Loop; Time Travel; Slow Burn; Action; Rescue Mission; Saving the World; mentions of torture; Tearjerker; Healing; obliviously falling in love

Word count: 101k+ (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) (assistance from tumblr: @o-kaythislooksbad)

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Author recs:

'Definitely try squadrickchestopher’s and teeelsie’s fics!' teeelsie: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeelsie/pseuds/Teeelsie/works

(rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)

(rec by tumblr: @broken--bow ) -- squadrickchestopher: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squadrickchestopher/pseuds/squadrickchestopher/works

(rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)

Lissadiane: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lissadiane/pseuds/Lissadiane

(rec by tumblr: @sishal01)

‘I'm shocked that no one has recommended ArtaxLivs yet--particularly the True Colors series; Through the Looking Glass; Both, Both is Good; And the Stockings Were Hung; and The Happiest Place on Earth. The character insight! The inner anguish! The humor! The smut! ’

ArtaxLivs: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtaxLivs/works

(rec by tumblr: @feistygina )

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***I was unable to find the following, however: ‘You should check Ava Kelly's "Kitty" series for Clint finds Bucky, it's awesome! Also, "Nemo", from the same author’ (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) ***If anyone has a link? I tried to find both author and stories, and failed.

Thank you to @therulingqueen and @o-kaythislooksbad! The above fixed are now at the end, right before the 'Author Recs'!

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