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#more like inconvenient news
maranull · 4 months
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got bad news so I bough Hades II in retaliation ✌
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felassan · 6 days
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#iirc the datv embargo lifts in a few hours time#its exciting for sure!! ◕‿◕#(theres some good info out there about what u can expect etc)#everyones level of comfort/preference for spoilers or what they consider/dont consider spoilers or do/dont want to see beforehand#is different and thats valid#for me rn my pref is not seeing much more of the game than i have so far so i will probably not be watching/reading most of those bits of#coverage which are described as 'spoilery' due to this#im just at a stage personally where in the main the last thing I'd like to see now is just a good look at the CC and the CC options#and then just any of the more 'generic' stuff like any new official screenshots that get tweeted or if theres one more trailer or something#(know what i mean? maybe generic is the wrong word but like vague or general or something). and thats about it#so if i'm quieter on here or not postin about sth new that you've seen or focusing more on less-new stuff like V&V eps i didnt get a chance#to listen to yet or i dont know the answer to something etc thats why ^^#i've turned off asks and submit as well jic#sry for any inconvenience caused by that and for not following/posting everything in the coming weeks hh!!#its like a push and pull between wanting to be hyped with everyone/overanalyze every new crumb/wanting my blog to be useful and#not wanting to know much more about the game besides CC than i do atm hh#ultimately we will only get to go into this game and play this game for for the first time once so yea :D#(and in case it helps to know for your own curation purposes my datv spoilers tag is 'dragon age the veilguard spoilers'!!)#mj and the world
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pinkd3mon · 1 year
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To trust somebody
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#hoshi no kirby#Galacta Knight#the dam has broken and now all of my content will be Galacta Knight for the foreseeable future#i apologize for the inconvenience#anyway i wanted to elaborate on Galacta's trust with Kirby#because you may or may not have noticed but Galacta has trust issues#one day you're saving the galaxy and the next day the ancients are showing you this new apartment that's shaped a lot like eternal prison#what did the other heroes do? did they defend Galacta at all? were they the ones who went against Galacta?#they have been used for fighting practice or cannon fire for as long as they can remember now#when you're capable of destroying entire galaxies that's the only thing you're seen as#now comes kirby#in the novels Kirby hates fighting without reason#and they hate fighting a fight the people involved aren't enjoying#meta knight and Kirby fight a lot over this#meta knight wants to prove he's tough shit Kirby doesn't want to fight#and the more the novels go the more tired Kirby gets of only being seeing as a powerful thing you fight to prove your worth#Kirby gets really really annoyed by the battle Royale novel they are actively annoyed by meta knight's presence#the stronger warrior novel comes and when Kirby discovers Meta Knight did all of that shit to be able to fight Galacta Knight just because#they get so tired and pissed off#they're all talking about how they will all die if Galacta defeats meta knight and Dedede is begging Kirby to intervene Kirby just says no#1- because they don't wanr to fight so they won't#2- because this is meta knight's dumb problem he caused so why should they solve it#and third and almost most importantly 3- Kirby doesn't feel it would've been fair to Galacta Knight#the thing is Kirby is really relating to Galacta Knight here and just feels sorry for them when everyone else is terrified#Galacta was summoned from who knows where- released- beaten up- and then imprisoned again- just because Meta Knight felt like it#so i feel like the first person Galacta would trust is Kirby they're just akin to each other
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an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....
the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol#ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that#giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own#thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways#portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land#most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha#is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv#and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance#like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4#thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at#or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no#something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne#that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough#but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it
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mad-hunts · 5 months
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@divingdownthehole
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as barton was left to his own devices in the kitchen, it only then just occurred to him how the seven-fold bistro had a tv in the side of their lobby. and that could potentially be very bad if they weren't talking about the latest humdrum gossip in relation to bruce wayne or something — so, he would have to find a way to not appear suspicious and also, turn it off if they were talking about the death of the two guards already. barton sighed to himself as he pushed a chunk of the chicken on his plate to the side. he really had his work cut out for him here, didn't he?
of course, there might be a chance that jervis could handle it, he thought. but the last time he had handled something, he'd done it by sticking pins into someone. barton suddenly found himself standing up as if he was startled by the very thought of something like that happening to ravi. he had to create some sort of plan, for he couldn't just bust out of those doors, even if nothing was going on on that television. he tapped on the cold steel of the table below him with his sharpened nails as he contemplated what to do. maybe he could just stick by the almost saloon style doors of them for a bit and listen in on what exactly was going on out there.
just as ravi and jervis had made it to the front of the restaurant, his feet were carrying him to push his entire body flush against the doors, but with not enough pressure to actually open them. he thought he could hear jervis's voice now, but it was very distorted by the wall between him and the rest of the bistro. so he would have to get closer to the outside if he actually wanted to hear anything. while barton was now stressing, ravi honestly couldn't have looked more relaxed, as any friend of barton's was a friend of his. ( except they weren't really friends at all... but i digress. ) he smiled slightly whenever he heard him mention the soup out of approval, ❝ ooh... good choice. i love our mulligatawny soup, but it usually has rice in it, rather than on the side. but i could always request that our chefs put it there instead if you want. ❞
he shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, knowing that the kitchen would be more than willing to do something like that for jervis. ravi could feel his ears perk up and barton's ears did the same exact thing as a breaking news alert popped up on the tv. alright, well, he was not going to be waiting inside the kitchen any longer for something to happen — that was for sure — and so he opened up one of the doors in such a way that it wouldn't attract much attention. barton seemed to materialize out of quite literally nowhere, at least from ravi's point of view, before he was grabbing him by the opposite shoulder a little aggressively but not too much.
barton had played this off as him trying to playfully scare the other but what he was really aiming to do was turn the tv off. and that's exactly what he managed to do with the remote below the counter while ravi was too busy with being shocked, but then laughing in response to barton's 'cheeky' behavior as he spoke to him in between laughs and pushed him away from him, before punching his arm. ❝ oh, my god. you scared me! you jerk, why did you do that? don't tell me that this is you still being bitter that i beat you last time we sparred or something. ❞ ravi was still laughing, so he obviously didn't mean anything that he said in a malicious way as barton himself tried to catch onto the other's wrist before he punched him, but failed.
barton chuckled a few times before nursing the spot where ravi punched him with his arm. he made himself look guilty, only after winking at jervis whenever the other party wasn't looking, as if to say ' you're welcome ' and said, ❝ ahh, you caught me. but scaring you totally satisfied my need for revenge after you beat me. so, at least there's kind of a positive side to all of this. and just to keep you in the loop, jervis, me and ravi sometimes spar together because we're both boxers, ❞ barton gestured to the other man with one hand while ravi came down from his laughter. he made a playful ' shoo ' gesture towards barton, then. ❝ hey. me and your friend, who is also my friend now, by the way, were having a rather rousing conversation about his interest in the mulligatawny soup before you came along. so if you wouldn't mind... ❞
ravi left barton to fill in the lines of what else he was going to say before the blonde raised his hands in feigned surrender and sat down across a few seats away from them behind the counter. ravi laughed, making a ' come hither ' gesture towards himself, ❝ i was just joking, barton. you don't have to sit so far away. but anyway, i'll put in your order for the soup, if there are no objections? ❞ barton moved silently closer to ravi in particular, setting down his curry in front of him. he seemed oddly a bit protective of ravi based on the look he gave jervis.
it was one that said ' you better continue being nice to him or i'll kill you. ' and trust me, barton would do it, too.
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keeps-ache · 9 months
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every now and then something in my brain turns on and oh hello information i didn't know i had stored! where've you been !
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fisheito · 11 months
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edmond olivine......... farm sounds edition tiny tsun obsessed with girlfriend 4x his (cup_ ) Size....
#they're friends ur honour. maybe they can even boop snoots. let's give em some privacy#i wanted edmond horse to have a fancy braided ponytail (hah)-esque mane but the ref images all came up stuff like cornrows#and uh. no. no thank u. maybe i should start looking at cartoon horses instead#MASSIVE bunny olivine. bigger than a child. as big as a horse. capable of crushing kuya in his massive fur radius#when i think of hoof buddies edoli... i cannot decide on their sizes#yes horse is typically bigger than cow (at least taller)#but i want olivine to be a giant tank. and edmond to not look like a pubescent gangly mule next to him.#scratches chin#another part of me wanted to make em more . decorated. like design em with jewellery and whatnot#but if they are just animals in a boring ol zoo sanctuary#then they . . look like boring ol animals without all the cool decor?#actually what happens when they transform into their animal forms.#do all their clothes drop on the ground. free loot?#or do the clothes stay the same size and get all messed up and morphed on the new animal form#imagining poor oli transforming while still clothed and his clothes just rip from his Volume#and he's like aw man that's the 6th shirt this month :(#realistically(?) aster would prob provide magical clothing that appropriately shifts with the form or disappears somehow. conveniently.#idk. let's have inconvenient clothes only during the transformation sequences.#for the comedy aspect#edmond allows NO ONE to ride him. NO ONE! except olivine 🥰 eiden indeed gets kicked for even approaching and now he's in a coma#actually in the scenario where edmond is a horse he would probably allow anyone (small) on provided they are civil.#no foxes. no bears. no lions. maybe a hat.#guess i'm gonna have to start tagging this if i'm gonna keep posting about it. unbeliebabvle. it's become an actual tag#zookeeper au#nu carnival edmond#nu carnival olivine
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hxhhasmysoul · 6 months
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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resonabilis-echo · 1 month
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#also. also. shes like “i hope i was a better friend once you reframed it as 'im upset because youve been a really shitty person towards mw#for months - before that i thought it was because you were sad i probably didnt have feelings for you#(in which case of course my actions would have been totally justified). anyway after that i became a totally good and reliable friend“#when what she did since i framed it that way was (1) ghost me for 3 months (2) met up and immediately said she needed space (after one#conversation since the summer) (3) broke up with me under the most inconvenient conditions when im totally isolated from all of my friends#and during a long drive where im forced to be around her for hours to a camp where she is my only means of leaving#good friend behavior????#she always seems so thoughtful and phrases everything in a way that makes sense in the moment. but sometimes i wonder if she ever thinks#about other people at all#it feels like she wants all of these experiences and connections but only while theyre convenient and exciting and new. and what i thought#was a meaningful connection was maybe like a collectable trinket? or i dont know maybe. a fun experiment so she could learn more about#herself. framing every time she hurt me as a lesson she was learning about Relationships#ughhhhh I'm not a fucking educational tool#“i want to do all the same things exactly but not call it a relationship. and i have a crush on you but i dont like you enough. and i dont#want to ever date anyone and i dont want to be in relationships but of course im not going to break up with my boyfriend“#im so fucking done
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high-voltage-rat · 1 year
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Vyvanse is such a silly little drug. I get up at 11, take it at noon, what's a normal sleep phase I don't know her.
The first hour passes and I'm like "dude nothings happening except me getting sweaty and my heart's going a bit faster" and then I blink and it's another 2 hours later and I've just blitzed doing every chore available to me, organized all my shit for the day, read through 500 tumblr posts, watched some random-ass YouTube clips, and made myself food I don't want to eat because my appetite is suppressed but I know food consumption is a task. It's like all of my ADHD bullshit for the entire day happens at light speed over a few hours.
Then I sit down and can do The Big Task of the day for 5 hours or more and, unlike with a hyperfocus, can remain focused on it even after taking breaks to go do other stuff.
Then the end of the day hits and I'm tired and need to go to sleep but I still feel the Productivity Need so for some reason I watch 50 more "Educational" YouTube videos until it subsides and then finally fall asleep at 2am.
Like. Does it cure my ADHD? Absolutely not. Does it make me less chaotic? No. But does it allow me to consistently channel my ADHD energy productively? Oh, yeah. I'm not 100% sure that's what my doctors were going for when they prescribed it, but I gotta be honest I kinda love it.
#not video games#late nights with ali#nd blogging#actuallyADHD#I'm pretty sure my docs were intending for a bit more... how you say... stability?#but a lot of my ADHD traits don't go away. just the most important one- activation-based executive dysfunction#And honestly without that I think I like the way I function with the rest? usually anyway#If I'm in control of it. I love my hyperfocus. I love my bouncing around chaotically. I love being impulsively spontaneous#don't get me wrong. there are days where I do hate my adhd. when the emotional regulation problems kick in it's hell.#rejection sensitive dysphoria is a bitch. I can forget self care in lieu of 'more important' things. my working memory can fuck me over.#but in comparison to how I lived before medication? it's amazing. and I've learned to be fond of aspects of my disorder#and to live with the ones that are inconvenient. it's so nice honestly#I could do without the sweating and appetite suppression. but it is SO worth it to like my own mind again.#before I was diagnosed I knew I had it. so my only options were self medicating with caffiene and developing an anxiety disorder.#the thing that bypasses the dopamine-based activation is adrenaline-based activation#so I literally just. got so anxious about stuff I needed to do that it would trigger the adrenaline activation where dopamine failed me#I don't think I actually 100% KNEW that's what I was doing per se. but I do think some of my anxiety came from intentional doom spiralling#anyway moral of the story. Vyvanse helps with ADHD is some truly strange ways but at the end of the day it's a fucking miracle#New River Pharmaceuticals developers of lisdexamfetamine I am kissing you on the mouth
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tvrningout-a · 11 months
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hmm how would we feel if i remade
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mutalune · 3 months
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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racke7 · 9 months
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Me vs FF14 part... 2?
It's taken me pretty much three full days of running from cutscene to cutscene. But I've finally reached Heavensward.
And like... on some level? I'm kind of offended?
Like, a part of me genuinely wants to replay the entire game from the start "as something else" (different main-class, different race, different starting-area, whichever), because the dungeon-queuing system is actually really fun when you start to Understand it.
As in, FF14 has somehow made an MMO that has almost eliminated the feeling that it is a level-grind? Partially? It's turned the whole thing into a surprisingly comfortable level of (limited, but genuine) social interaction.
To the point where even someone who isn't obsessively grind-focused like me, can genuinely enjoy themselves. Just queuing up for dungeons, Hunting some bounties, and-...
And then FF14 has so many fucking quests that it literally chokes the life out of the gameplay.
As an example, one of their biggest dungeon-draws (bcs high rewards) is a quest that almost everyone hates playing. Because doing that dungeon means watching literally eighteen minutes of unskippable cutscenes.
And that's with them having reduced the amount of cutscenes in that dungeon, because the players complained so much about them.
Like... I'd be perfectly happy replaying the game from the start with a different character, even knowing that leveling isn't some kind of pain-free thing. But the thought of having to restart the fucking Main-Quest? Of having to spend literal days just running back-and-forth to cutscenes?
I'm currently feeling a bit burned-out as a result of the binge I went on to get here, but I'm pretty damn sure that I wouldn't replay this fucking thing even if you paid me for it.
(And, of course, Heavensward also has a Main-Quest continuation that you have to follow. And now I'm not even allowed to fly everywhere to cut down on the "running back-and-forth"-part of my complaints. Not until they arbitrarily allow me to discover flight for the new areas, by going through even more of the Main-Quest.)
(Not to mention that now I have to go back and do even more Class-quests, with their own cutscenes, in order to unlock a bunch of skills.)
(I'm very fond of the "the church is evil because it doesn't let you fuck dragons"-meme, and I'm very much seeing it. But like... come the fuck on. Why is this MMO a feature-length movie-series? Why can't I just play the game and have fun?)
#and yes. i'm very much aware that ''you can do anything with one character''#bcs everyone gets one (1) race-changing potion. and classes can be switched out super-easily. but that's not the point.#video games#ff14#rants#personal stuff#also like... i'm unemployed and waiting for my classes to begin a few weeks from now. i have INFINITE free-time.#and i still feel like ff14 is actively trying to waste my time by ''telling a story'' that should be in a single-player game.#... actually. that'd explain a lot. did the writers of this game learn to write from single-player games?#is that why there are so many cutscenes and minor characters to constantly juggle? did nobody tell them that they were making an MMO?#(the feeling of going ''all-in'' on the genuineness in the cutscenes even when it's corny as shit? good.)#(being forced to sit through cutscene after cutscene instead of actually playing the game? bad.)#like... even just the dungeon-cutscenes? to some degree it's expected that you SHOULD skip them? bcs you're making others wait?#(and during the Raids. that means outright being left behind. ain't nobody stopping for anyone.)#so you're losing a massive bit of story-telling. bcs it's trying to tell that story in the WORST place.#it's a good story? i guess? but it's so fucking inconvenient to _play the game around_ that it feels more like a chore than an adventure.#and in a single-person game? i think it'd be great. maybe not entirely my kettle of fish. but genuinely good. but as an MMO?#like i get that a lot of it has been added onto it over the span of YEARS and that ppl playing it since launch would've been desperate#for new content. despite how the amount of content seems incredibly overwhelming for new players.#but jesus fuck. at least let people wanting to start a new character to just... skip the fucking thing? they've already seen it once.#* nevermind. they thought of that. they're selling ''story-skip''-potions for 10$. wow. just... wow.
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goldkirk · 2 years
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oh man, owning a body is way scarier than being in one while not owning it is
#wow it is so inconvenient to have a concept of autonomy that isn’t restricted#like it is better yes I get it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an adjustment#I’m panicking less drastically with more time in between#but it’s still so hard to retain a grasp on the fullness of This Is Totally Only Your Body You Have The Ultimate Control Over It#because there’s just SO MUCH MORE that comes along WITH that and I have very little#processing power to sore as is#*spare#I don’t even know what a body is optimally supposed to be like how am I supposed to know how to make my way over to that?#and that’s all I have to say about that#shh katie#trauma recovery#and I just like. get to make every ultimate decision about it forever. like how close people can get or whether to do an activity or what#clothes I get to choose#and I get to say no to things and I get to defend myself if I want and I get to do fun scary new things in it if I want etc etc#and I love getting all these things! I love that it’s ‘I get’#but most of the time what I actually feel is ‘I HAVE’#I HAVE to decide each moment if I want someone to touch me I HAVE to decide if something feels good or not I HAVE to defend myself if I need#to be defended I HAVE to choose clothes with JUST me making my decisions I HAVE to change my body to be healthier I HAVE to etc etc#but then I feel ashamed and unworthy because I feel like I’m doing something wrong by acting or appearing ungrateful while#having such lucky amazing incredible way-more-than-I-could-have-imagined change in the past year#and so much to be grateful for beyond words#anyway there’s no lesson here it’s just a post it note saying where I’m at#I’ll move on from this to something else in a new stage as time passes#it’s chill#cult survivor#add to journal
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dredshirtroberts · 2 months
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people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????
it's more likely than i think, apparently.
#this post brought to you by Grandparent i was forcibly estranged from most of my life suddenly being in it lots more than#the other side of dad's family AND my mom's family combined and like?? actually doing things??? to help me???? without asking for anything#except that i give him a personal update about my life so he doesn't find out on fb#which i can get behind even if my logic makes perfect sense to me as to why i don't do this#(easier to reach a wider crowd of people who can disseminate the information from there + don't have to repeat myself especially if it's#like stuff i'm still really tender or emotional about + keeps me from spilling all the beans about my private life because fuck FB + i don'#tell ANYONE specifically - everyone is getting the news the exact same way so i'm not running into any favoritism nonsense#though i'm getting the impression the fact that a large portion of my life was avoiding looking like i was picking any particular side migh#not be the way a vast majority of people go through life#much to ponder wow my family really is fucking toxic as hell#i can't even accept help offered to me without making sure they know i don't want to inconvenience them at all#which like???? idk which culture THAT'S originally from but boy did my family come from that one#i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to completely reject any assistance completely but like#a bitch got no money i'm not saying no if my granddaddy wants to send me some because of reasons#hilariously learning that this side of the family also has all of the same symptoms and issues i have#and that i had noticed that my mom's side of the family has rampantly which just like#of fucking course my genetic makeup was a perfect storm of Fuckery#i got loose joints and heart problems on BOTH sides on top of pain issues and audhd and mental health issues just smothering the damn tree#i have so many complex emotions regarding my biofamily i s2g lol
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realasslesbian · 2 years
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Idc who this upsets, but I actually hated the whole forced mask wearing era with a burning passion. As someone with epilepsy which is aggravated by heat, it was absolute hell to have to wear that shit because (and fuck what y’all abled-bodies wanna say) it DOES impact my breathing and make me overheat. And I actually cannot just ‘go get a medical exemption’ because a) they don’t give that shit out like free candy, I had to go pay $500 to a neurologist to get that lil note, and b) I could staple that med cert to my fucking forehead and still get people losing their minds every time I went anywhere without a mask. Everyone like ‘oh disabled people are so terrified of COVID-19 so you should think of them before ragging on masks like this’ as though everyone ain’t already spent the last three decades of my life not giving a singular shit about my disability, but now suddenly want to act like they care about disabled people? Why tf should I care about giving anyone the spicy cough when no one has ever given a fuck how many seizures their actions cause me? Y’all want me to put my own health at risk by wearing this mask, so you don’t get a lil sore throat, when y’all will remain deliberately oblivious to epilepsy and other heat-related illnesses, right up until someone dies, and then you’ll still have a giggle about that too? Way more people be dying every day from heat-related illnesses than from COVID-19, so where’s my mandatory air-conditioning and icepack stations at every street corner? Fuck hand sanitizer stations, provide me a free cold drink. Additionally, mask wearing was the ONLY thing people got this fucking turnt about too. It’s not like any of y’all were social distancing (something which would have actually helped me with my disability lmao). No one was getting booted out of stores for standing on my damn heels every time I had to get in a queue. Anyway, after the first twenty times I got asked to leave a store for not wearing a mask (despite having that magical medical certificate) I made up my own mask by getting four of those ‘valves’, absolutely gutting the inside of them to allow unrestricted airflow, and then stitching them into a linen mask. Still uncomfortable, fo sure, but a lot better than having to deal with hot air on my face and under my sunglasses while already struggling not to pass out in the middle of the Australian summer. 
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