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purrincess-chat · 4 years

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Kill Em With Kindness CH5

So, I know I said I wasn’t going to update again until I finished the rest of this, but my secret MDCSP project is taking up a majority of my writing time now, so I haven’t been in the mood to work on this one, so rather than keeping you all in suspense even longer, I decided to go ahead and post chapter 5 since it’s finished. But for reals next time I update, I will be finished. There are only 2 chapters left, so I’ll get to them eventually so the final two updates can be close together.

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Chapter 5

Marinette laid back on her chaise, humming along to Jagged’s newest single Liar. Adrien’s interview had just ended, so she kept her phone nearby for his inevitable call. While she knew about the rumors spreading about them, she still hadn’t been prepared to hear Adrien tell the world they were just friends on live TV. Part of her hoped that this thing with Lila would bring them closer, and it had—just not in the way she wanted. No matter. There would be plenty of time for flirting after Lila was taken care of.

When her phone buzzed, she lowered the volume on her playlist and answered. “Nice job on the interview.”

“Thanks. We’re in good shape for tomorrow. Clara told me she’s really looking forward to our shopping trip,” Adrien said. “I can’t wait to see the look on Lila’s face when Clara posts about her new fashion advisor.”

“Do you really think she’ll do it? I mean, I still have to impress her with my choices tomorrow. What if she hates everything I pick out?” Marinette bit her lip.

“Relax. You’ll do fine. I know you will,” he assured her. “Clara really respects you. She told me earlier that she’s hoping you two can be good friends.”

“For real?” Marinette shot upright.

“Yeah, for real,” Adrien laughed. “Funny how almost everything Lila lies about is coming true for you now.”

“Well, she has one thing on me. Jagged did write a song about her…” Marinette turned the volume up with a smirk.

I see through your disguise. Can’t touch me with your little lies.

Adrien chuckled at that. “Maybe we’ll make an honest girl out of her.”

“Doubt it. She loves the attention too much,” Marinette said with an eye roll. “But we’re the ones with the real connections, so we still have the high ground.”

“And we have each other. I promise I won’t let her get you ever again, Marinette. If she tries to hurt you, she’ll have to go through me.” Marinette’s cheeks warmed, and she leaned back against the pillow, trailing her thumb over her lucky charm.

“Thanks, Adrien. It means a lot to know you’ll always be there for me,” she said.

“Of course. You’re a dear friend, Marinette, and I know you’d do the same for me.”

She smiled up at her ceiling, pressing a soft kiss to the lucky charm as if it were his cheek. “See you tomorrow?”

“Let’s make Lila regret coming after you.”

***

Raindrops pattered against Lila’s umbrella on the abandoned street corner. Most citizens had moved inside to avoid the downpour, but Lila barely batted an eye. She had business to attend to.

Her mental clock ticked away the seconds until a silver car rolled to a stop to her left. She kept her eyes forward as the window rolled down, and Gabriel glared out at her. It wasn’t that he held any personal disdain for her. Gabriel glared at everyone.

“I’m growing impatient, Lila. Every time I turn around, I see my son with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I thought you said you could handle her,” he said, and Lila’s jaw clenched.

“I’ve run into a few hiccups, but I assure you, I can take her out for good. I just need more time,” she said, watching the droplets splatter against the ground.

Focusing kept her from losing her temper. While it was incredibly tempting, Lila couldn’t afford to lose Gabriel now. She wanted to scream about how Adrien was plotting against her. That Marinette had been playing dirty. But Gabriel didn’t care for excuses. He needed results, so if Marinette was taking low blows, Lila would throw a few of her own.

“Perhaps it might help you to know that she and Adrien will be out shopping with Clara Nightingale tomorrow afternoon. Clara hopes that Marinette can give her fashion advice. She has dreams of being a designer, you know,” Gabriel said. “It would be a shame if something got in the way of those dreams.”

A smirk curled on Lila’s lips, the calm reassurance of Gabriel’s support relaxing her shoulders. “Understood.”

***

“Don’t be nervous.”

Marinette ripped her gaze away from the window and removed her fingers from her mouth. Wiping the chewed nubs on her pants, she let out a breath and began tapping her feet instead. Adrien gave her a soft smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You’ll do great. Just relax,” Adrien said as they rolled up to Gabriel’s boutique.

Nathalie climbed from the front seat and opened the door for them, and Marinette took a deep breath.

“You’re right. I can do this. Clara wants to be my friend, so everything is going to be totally fi-” Her voice trailed off as they climbed from the car, blood running cold.

“Marinette? What’s wro- oh, no.” Adrien stopped in his tracks as Clara approached with the only person on the planet who could ruin this trip.

“Hey, Marinette, Adrien.”

Lila.

“Marinette, it’s so good to see you. This girl says she’s a friend of yours too,” Clara said, pulling her in for a hug.

“Thank you two so much for inviting me to come along on this trip. I’m such a big fan of yours, Clara, and when Marinette told me she was nervous about picking out your outfits today, I was happy to come along and assist,” Lila said with a sugary grin. “Marinette and I share a love of fashion, and we bounce ideas off each other all the time. Isn’t that right, Marinette?”

“I wouldn’t say all the time,” Marinette grunted, crossing her arms over her chest, and at Clara’s curious expression she added, “because you travel so much, right, Lila?”

“It’s true. There are so many countries out there that need our help. I’m just doing my best where I can,” Lila said, pressing a hand to her forehead in a ‘woe is me’ fashion.

“How very noble of you. I can sense a deep bond between you two,” Clara said, and Marinette suppressed an eye roll. Nothing bonded people more than mutual hatred. “Well, there’s nothing to stand out here for, so let’s go in the door.”

Lila shot Marinette a pointed grin the moment Clara turned her back, and Marinette exchanged nervous looks with Adrien. This trip had just gotten a lot more complicated.

An employee let them in, the boutique having been closed for their private shopping spree, and Clara twirled around with a cheery squeal. “I’m so happy having you all here. Nothing’s better than spending time with friends so dear.”

“The pleasure is all ours,” Lila said, linking arms with Adrien.

“Ya know, I’m kind of in the mood for coffee. Why don’t you and I go get some, Lila? Nathalie can accompany us,” Adrien said, tugging her toward the door, but Clara’s bodyguard stood in the way.

“There’s no need for that today. Mme. Nathalie, will you fetch some straight away?” Clara said, and Nathalie nodded.

“Of course. You all carry on,” Nathalie said, oblivious to Adrien’s pleading look.

Adrien shot Marinette an apologetic wince, but she didn’t blame him. They should have expected something like this from Lila, so they would just have to navigate this one on the fly. It was risky, but Marinette had a plan.

“Clara, why don’t we make this a little more fun? Why don’t Lila and I could both pick out outfits for you, and you could choose the one you like better. That way you have more options,” Marinette suggested, and Clara took her hands, twirling her around.

“I have been wanting to change my style, so let’s see what you two compile. For my first look, let’s keep it easy, an evening dress that’s not too cheesy,” Clara said before shimmying off to the dressing rooms.

“Not so fun, is it?” Lila said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know how you got in, but-” Marinette held up a hand to cut Adrien off.

“It’s fine. If Lila wants to play designer. We’ll let her,” she said before turning and stalking toward a rack on the other end of the store.

She shifted through hangers as Adrien fell in beside her. “Are you sure about this?”

“Look, Clara asked me to come on this trip, so obviously she respects my opinion. Not to mention your father, Audrey Bourgeois, and Jagged Stone have all praised my work in the past. I can beat her,” she said, meeting his gaze, and Adrien blinked in surprise.

“Anything I can do to help?” He asked, but Marinette shook her head.

“No. I have to do this on my own,” she said, grabbing a couple dresses from the rack and heading for shoes.

“You’ve got this, Marinette,” he said with a grin.

Marinette’s heart pounded as she assembled her outfit, but the adrenaline coursing through her veins only fueled her determination. Lila could challenge her in a lot of things, but fashion was hers. No amount of lying or deceit could take that away from her. She would beat Lila no matter what.

“I have your coffee.” Nathalie reappeared with two cups in a paper tray.

��Thanks, Nathalie,” Adrien said.

“Have you picked out your outfit, Marinette? I can take it to Clara for you,” Nathalie offered, and Marinette nodded, exchanging the garment bag for the tray.

“Thank you!” She bowed, and as Nathalie sauntered off, she let out a breath.

“Don’t worry. Clara will see the one with real talent in just a few minutes. No way Lila beats you,” Adrien said, and Marinette offered him a smile, taking a swig of her coffee before they made their way to the platform outside the dressing room to wait.

“She’s trying on Marinette’s pick first,” Clara’s assistant announced, and Marinette held her breath as the curtains parted.

Clara stepped out in a lime green skirt, a neon orange tiger-print shirt, a pair of red heels, and a black feathered hat, and Marinette’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“Marinette, your choices are a little off the wall. I’m not sure I’d have paired these at all,” Clara said, examining herself in the mirror.

“But that’s not-” She stopped short, shooting a cutting glare at Lila. Her fists shook, angry tears burning her eyes. Accusations formed on her tongue, but she bit them back.

Of course Lila wasn’t going to play fair. She should have known better. Without even realizing, she’d played right into her trap. There was no way to win because Lila already stacked the odds against her.

“This must be a mistake. Marinette didn’t pick any of those things,” Adrien said, stepping forward. “Her bag probably got switched.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t pick that outfit,” Lila said, pressed a hand to her lips to hide her smirk.

Clara tapped her chin with a hum then turned to Nathalie. “You brought Marinette’s bag to me. Do you know where the real one could be?”

“I placed it on the rack for you, and then I brought your coffee. I’m not sure what happened after that,” Nathalie said.

“Hmm…This is quite the mystery, but this outfit not being Marinette’s is something I’m glad to see,” Clara said, giving it one last disgruntled look in the mirror. “Having you come on this trip was such a delight, so I’ll give you one more chance to get it right.”

“Thank you, Clara!” Marinette breathed a sigh of relief.

“In the meantime, why don’t you try on my outfit, Clara?” Lila said, casting an impish smile over her shoulder at Marinette.

“It would be my pleasure. Let’s see how your picks measure.”

Marinette crossed her arms over her chest as Clara retreated to the changing room and turned to Adrien. “I should have known she’d try something underhanded like this to make her outfit seem better. I can’t believe I fell for it,” she sighed, flashing Lila a sardonic grin when she waved to them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on her next round so she can’t switch your outfit out for something lame,” Adrien whispered as Clara emerged from the stall.

“Now this is what I’m talking about. This outfit is totally me, no doubt.” Clara hopped onto the platform and gave a twirl, and Marinette nearly blew her top.

“But that’s-” Marinette started, clamping a hand over her mouth. “A great choice. I would have picked the same thing.”

Only she had because it was hers. Lila hadn’t just swapped her outfit for a ridiculous one—she’d outright taken it. Marinette could beat her easily, and Lila knew that. Rather than just make Marinette look ridiculous, Lila took it one step further and used Marinette’s talent to make herself look better. If there weren’t so many other people in the room, Marinette would have transformed on the spot and ripped her head off!

“Lila, your understanding of my style is quite profound. Marinette will have to try harder next round,” Clara said, admiring the stolen red dress. “For my next look, I want something more hearty—an outfit that will make me the life of the party!”

Marinette stormed from the dressing area, and Adrien followed her to the men’s changing room on the other side of the store. Pulling the curtain closed behind them, Marinette leaned against the wall with a huff, cupping her cheeks.

“Lila was ready for that. She’s catching up,” Adrien said, taking the wall across from her and crossing his arms over his chest.

“She’s already caught up, and now she’s ahead of us.” Marinette shook her head. “We need to gain back some ground.”

“What should we do?”

Marinette drummed her fingers on her jeans before digging out her phone. Adrien didn’t question as she dialed furiously then pressed the phone to her ear. She answered on the third ring.

“Hey, girl, how’s your shopping trip going?”

“Alya, I need you to do me a favor.”

***

Adrien paced across the floor to where Lila sifted through a rack. She didn’t look up as he approached, but an amused smile curled on her lips.

“Marinette has such strange taste, don’t you think?” She asked, holding up a bright green blazer.

“I told you to leave her alone,” Adrien said, and Lila rolled her eyes.

“And yet every time I mess with her, you do nothing,” she said, returning the jacket to the rack. “You could end this whole charade right now by telling Clara you didn’t really invite me, but you’re not going to do that, are you? Because that wouldn’t be very nice.”

“I mean it, Lila. You’re messing with Marinette’s dreams, and that’s not okay.” She examined his stern expression with amusement.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” She asked, and Adrien held her expression for a long moment before stalking off.

Marinette was finishing her second outfit when Adrien rejoined the group by the dressing room, and this time, Marinette personally handed Clara the bag. Adrien stood guard by the curtain, shooting daggers at Lila the moment she approached which only made her chuckle under her breath. He wasn’t taking any chances. Lila wasn’t going to ruin Marinette’s dreams. He’d see to it.

When Clara emerged, she skipped onto the platform and gave a twirl. “Now this is a party outfit that’ll make me dance! I’m so glad I gave you a second chance.”

“You look awesome, Clara. Marinette is super talented when her actual picks don’t get switched around,” Adrien said pointedly.

“I couldn’t agree more. This outfit is one I simply adore!” Clara said, stepping down to take Marinette’s hands. “Your style is simply the best. When it comes to fashion, there’s no contest.”

“Thank you, Clara. That means the world coming from you,” Marinette said, that spark of confidence returning to her eyes.

Lila’s jaw clenched, and Adrien high-fived Marinette. For added insult, he draped an arm over her shoulders as Clara tried on Lila’s outfit. It didn’t matter what Lila had picked; she was no match for Marinette when they were competing honestly.

“Hmm,” Clara hummed, twisting in the mirrors to see the dress from all angles. “A lovely choice, don’t get me wrong, but this outfit just isn’t my song. Your first choice was far more on the nose, and I’ve got to be honest, these shoes are hurting my toes.”

“That’s okay. Marinette is incredibly talented. The only reason I won the first round was because of that mix-up. I’m sure she’s got something amazing up her sleeve for this next round too,” Lila said, curling her shoulders in the fakest show of humility Adrien had ever seen.

“Then let’s not waste any more time. I can’t wait to try on an outfit so divine. Tonight I will be Nadja’s TV guest, so let’s see which one of you is really the best!”

---

As Marinette took off, Adrien shot Lila a warning look before following after her. It was cute that he thought he could intimidate her into being nice, but Lila had direct orders. Things were going exactly as planned, and those two idiots were falling right into her trap. Soon Marinette’s aspirations would be nothing more than a pipe dream.

When Nathalie emerged from the back with a garment bag, Lila sauntered over to meet her. “Is this my dress?”

Nathalie responded by offering Lila her phone, and Lila pressed it to her ear.

“Nathalie tells me everything is going according to plan,” Gabriel said on the other line.

“Of course, Mr. Agreste. Marinette thinks she’s getting ahead, but with your help I’ll make sure her dreams are crushed for good. Then she’ll be sure to stay away from Adrien,” she said like a dutiful student.

“Good. I’m counting on you,” Gabriel said before hanging up, and Lila lifted the bag with a smirk.

Marinette chose the wrong opponent to challenge, and Lila was about to prove that she didn’t lie about everything. She really was going to take everything from Marinette. Clara was just step one.

---

“I still don’t trust Lila,” Adrien whispered while Marinette browsed the wall of shoes.

“Don’t worry about her. We’re onto her little game now, so it’s impossible for her to steal my outfit again, and we both know Clara prefers my picks to hers now without a doubt,” Marinette said, sounding confident, and under normal circumstances, Adrien would have been proud. Lila, however, was not normal circumstances.

“I know you’re better than her, but I just have a bad feeling. I don’t trust her,” Adrien said, glancing at Lila in accessories out of the corner of his eye.

Marinette zipped her bag up then turned to look him in the eye. “I’m not asking you to trust her. I’m asking you to believe in me.”

Her bright blue eyes glowed with determination, and although he couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his gut, he nodded her on. Marinette was brilliant and amazing—Adrien knew that quite well. She had a bright future ahead of her so long as nothing got in her way, and one thing was certain: if Lila even tried, Adrien would never forgive her.

“Alright, chickadees, let’s see what you’ve got for me,” Clara said, bouncing in anticipation.

Marinette didn’t spare Lila a single glance as she paced over to Clara, but Adrien hung back to make sure she behaved. Lila seemed to all but ignore him until the last moment when she shot him a playful wink that sent his blood boiling.

“Oh, Clara, since I know Marinette is probably going to win, will you try on my outfit first?” Lila requested innocently. “Naturally, mine will pale in comparison, so I want you to give it a fair shot.”

“Lila, that’s quite the humble stance. I’d be more than happy to give yours a chance.”

Adrien instinctively bristled when Lila passed off her bag. What was she up to? His stomach churned in knots, and he stepped closer to Marinette, gleaning comfort from close proximity as if he could protect her from whatever scheme Lila was trying to pull.

When Clara emerged again, every jaw in the room dropped, and Adrien’s mind whirled with a thousand thoughts at once. That dress wasn’t part of the normal collection—it was one of a kind. Adrien had overheard his father and Nathalie talking about it a few days prior. He wasn’t entirely sure how Lila got her hands on it, but it wasn’t by accident.

“This dress is so…so…” Clara gasped, abandoning her riddles and rhymes as she stared in awe.

Lila beamed, clasping her hands behind her back. “I really wanted to impress you this round, so I asked the staff if they hand anything special in the back. I truly care about your style, Clara, and I wanted to prove that to you.”

“Your attention to detail and willingness to go the extra mile certainly make you standout, Lila. I’d love for you to be my new style consultant,” Clara said, clasping her hands together over her heart.

Adrien’s heart snapped when he turned to Marinette, her once confident demeanor now shriveled in defeat. Lila caught his gaze, tilting her chin up with a smirk. I win. She seemed to gloat, and Adrien’s hands clenched into fists.

“Clara, I know this dress is beautiful, and I’m not entirely sure how Lila found it,” he started, shooting her a quick glare. “But designing is Marinette’s true passion, and in my professional opinion, I think she would make an amazing personal stylist.”

“It’s fine.” The voice was Marinette’s, and she turned to Lila with a small smile. “I’m really happy for you, and I know you’ll do an amazing job.”

She held her head high and threw on a smile despite the anger and humiliation she must be feeling. They were committed to being kind to Lila in front of everyone, but Adrien didn’t care about that now. Lila had taken something from someone who deserved it, and more importantly, she’d done it to someone Adrien cared about. If Lila was going to ignore his warnings, then he’d have to repeat them a little louder.

“Clara, why don’t you try on Marinette’s pick just for fun. She worked really hard picking it out,” Adrien suggested.

“While my search has come to an end, I’d be more than happy to wear something picked by a friend,” Clara said, brushing Marinette’s nose with her finger before climbing back into the changing booth.

Adrien marched over to Gorilla, yanking his collar down to whisper in his ear. Lila was going to learn the price of hurting people precious to him. He didn’t care if it wasn’t nice. Lila wasn’t a nice person, so just this once, he wasn’t going to be either.

With everyone focused on Clara, no one noticed when Gorilla clamped a hand over Lila’s mouth and carried her to the back. A single employee followed, opening the door to the private bathroom as Gorilla tossed her in.

“What do you think you’re-” Lila’s voice trailed off when Adrien approached, hands shoved in his pockets. “Is this the part where you try and intimidate me? It’s not going to work. I know your little niceness scheme is all an act, and I’m about to leave you both in the dust.”

“Maybe,” Adrien said, leaning against the doorframe with a shrug. “But you seem to have forgotten where you are. Did you really think you had the advantage in a shop named Agreste? In case you didn’t realize, everyone here works for me.”

“You’re too late. I’ve already won,” Lila shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. “Clara picked me, and Marinette will never make it as a designer.”

“Marinette is going to be just fine. I’ll see to that,” he said. “Clara respects my opinion, so she’ll listen to me.”

“And why would you convince her to pick Marinette over me? Doesn’t that contradict your whole plan to nice me into compliance?” Lila asked with a smirk. “As soon as we go back out there, Clara will still have picked me, so this whole conversation is pointless.”

“Who said you’ll be going back out there?” Adrien quirked a brow. He stepped away from the door, and an employee stepped in to lock it from the outside.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Lila beat against it, furiously tugging the handle.

“It’s such a shame you’re so busy, Lila. Clara will be disappointed to hear that you’re too busy volunteering to clean public restrooms to devote time to being her personal stylist. I’ll be sure to send Marinette your best,” he called from the other side. “Don’t worry. Someone will let you out after we leave.”

“Adrien! Let me out!” Lila screeched, but he was already walking away.

Clara was admiring Marinette’s outfit in the mirror when he returned to the dressing area, and he draped an arm over Clara’s shoulders. “Marinette did an amazing job, don’t you think, Clara?” He asked, shooting her a wink.

“It’s true that Marinette has good taste. Not picking her would be a waste…” Clara hummed, tapping her chin. “But Lila’s pick is still on my mind. A dress like that deserves to shine.”

Marinette’s shoulders slumped, and Adrien pursed his lips. “I know you picked Lila, but I think you should reconsider.”

“Where is Lila anyway?” Marinette glanced around, and Adrien bit back a smirk.

“Oh, uh, you see, Clara, Lila has a very busy schedule. Her parents are ambassadors, so she is always traveling. She pulled me aside while you were changing and expressed worry over being able to devote the time to being your stylist,” Adrien explained smoothly. “She was absolutely thrilled that you wanted her for the opportunity, but she just has so much on her plate right now.”

“I see. Well, that’s a real pity,” Clara said, and Marinette eyed him curiously as Alya burst into the room.

“Sorry I’m late,” she panted, doubling over to catch her breath.

Adrien stepped down to retrieve the pink sketchbook tucked under her arm. “Designing is Marinette’s true passion, and while she is good at pairing other people’s designs, creating her own is where Marinette really shines.” He offered Clara the sketchbook and nudged Marinette forward. “I know you had your heart set, but Marinette is incredible if you just give her a chance.”

“Wow, Marinette, your skills are certainly plain to see,” Clara said, admiring her sketches. “So, what do you say? Will you design clothes for me?”

“I- Yes! I would absolutely love to! Thank you, Clara,” Marinette gaped, and Clara took her hands.

“The pleasure is all mine. Your designs are so divine! This deal is all set. I’m so happy that it’s you, Marinette,” Clara said, giving her hands a squeeze.

“What’s happening?” Alya asked, quirking a brow, and Adrien smiled.

“Marinette just became Clara Nightingale’s personal stylist.”

#miraculous ladybug #ml salt #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #lila salt #kill em with kindness #my writing

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

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Can you do 60 for indruck, NSFW? Thank you so much! Love your work!

Here it is! I set it in the same world as this sternclay fill. Credit to @bellafarallones for playing in this space on discord. Apollo is from my Super hero AU

“All I’m sayin is it seems mighty unfair to me that one fella gets a handler-assistant type deal and the rest of us don’t.” Duck crosses his arms as Ned fiddles with the pen on his desk.

“You’re not wrong, dear boy, but Apollo was in high demand from the higher ups-”

“Because he’s a shallow dipshit with a mean streak who’ll be good for ratings?”

“Precisely. He demanded in his contract that we allow his twin to continue his work as his photographer and assistant. He has over a million followers on Instagram, so those photos will be a boost to the show. Just try to get along for the camera’s?”

“His brother ain’t even on camera.” Duck mutters.

“I meant with Apollo.”

Duck shrugs, defeated, “sure thing, Ned.”

As he walks back to the main house, he mulls over the fact that the twin (Indrid, he thinks that’s the guys name) bugs him more than Apollo does. Apollo is vain, mean, and selfish, but at least that gets him things, even makes sense for the kind of show they’re on. Indrid gains nothing by helping him out here. Except protection from the bully, which Duck finds to be the worst kind of cowardice. Hopefully Vincent, this season’s bachelor, will see through the “influencer” and send him packing ASAP.

-------------------------------------

Four weeks in, and this is exactly what Duck was worried about. Not only is Indrid hovering around his brother like a nervous moth (excet when cameras are near, at which point he ducks out of frame), he’s doing fucking nothing to reign him in.

A few frontrunners are starting to emerge, and with that claws are coming out. Barclay, a chef and all around nice guy, is the target of choice. Nico and Josh both took bites out of him this morning. But Apollo sunk his teeth in like a dog on a fox, calling him, among other things, a pathetic, six-foot puppy dog who no man would ever want. The cook left noticeably teary eyed. Duck was about to block the cameras from following when Joseph beat him to it. Which is weird, because he thought Joe couldn’t stand Barclay. Apollo flounces off, but Duck corners Indrid where he’s been stoically watching his brother be a raging asshole.

“What the fuck man?”

‘Wrong twin.” Indrid says flatly, indicating his silver hair, tied back in a half-bun. His dark roots are showing and his eyebrows are black, unlike Apollo’s immaculate blonde dye job and bleached brows.

“Nope, right one. You’re his handler, cant’ you fuckin intervene when he’s doin’ shit like that? Or are you just here to let him hurt whoever he feels like?”

Indrid fixes him with a bitter smile, “If there were a way to make my brother be kind or, indeed, see others as people, don’t you think I’d have found it and used it everyday since?”

“I-”

“You people have no idea how much I’m already doing. I kept him from going after you yesterday by reminding him he looks ugly when he yells on camera. And if nothing else console yourself with the fact you all have only to deal with him for a few months. Some of us have endured twenty-eight years of it.”

With that, he turns and stalks from the room. As he leaves, Duck can’t shake the thought that his black denim jacket and worn jeans fit him better than Apollo’s designer ones ever could.

-----------------------------------

Indrid understands why there’s so much alcohol on set, but he can’t partake (too bitter) and it makes Apollo even harder to handle than usual. Which is why Indrid is out on the grounds at ten p.m, intending to hide from his brother until dawn.

At six weeks in, fan favorites are getting more established and Indrid, needing to predict Apollo’s mood in order to do his job, is keeping a close eye on them. His twin is well-liked for being snarky and hot, though he suspects the large number of contestants means there have been limited chances for his unpleasant side to be showcased. Joseph is another, because of course he is, movie-star handsome with an interesting past. Barclay is beloved for the very things that the other contestants torment him for. And Duck? Duck is quickly becoming the one people think Vincent will choose.

Indrid thinks they’re right. He’s charming in an understated way, funny, and while Apollo needles him for his “dad bod,” Indrid and Vincent have both noticed the muscles in his arms. Who gives a damn about flat abs? Indrid would much rather have something soft to rest his head on while those green eyes look lovingly down at him. His crush on Duck is useless, persistent, and must be hidden from Apollo at all costs.

His foot catches something solid and he tumbles over the obstacle to land ass-first on the lawn.

“Ow.” He glares at the object. The object turns out to be Duck Newton, who's obviously drunk as he sits up.

“Sorry man, thought no one’d come out here. Oh it’s you, it's, uh, fuck, fuck c'mon” he snaps his fingers as he searches his thoughts, “It's cute Apollo!”

“Indrid.” Surely Duck didn’t mean to use that adjective. Right?

“No, I’m Duck?”

He snickers, “No, I meant I’m Indrid.”

“Ohhh, right. You're Indrid. I'm Duck. That's the big dipper” He points at the sky. Indrid follows the line and grins, delighted.”

“It is!”

“Uhhuh. C'mere, can show you more.” Duck pats the spot beside him and lays back. Indrid scoots closer and reclines as well, making appreciative sounds each time Duck shows him a constellation.

As they’re studying the sky, the other man whispers, “Can I tell you a secret? I, I think Joe’n Barclay are into each other now."

“The way they look at each other is not exactly subtle.”

‘“Heh, yeah.” he links his hands across his belly, “I think they're in love. You ever been in love?”

“No.” He sighs, not wanting to dwell on that pile of baggage, “You?”

“Nope. And, uh, don’t, don’t tell anyone but I don't think I am with Vincent. Maybe I could be? Does that make me a bad person? He's nice, think he likes me a lot but, I, I dunno.”

“Not being in love with someone doesn’t make you a bad person. No more than loving someone does.”

Indrid is hard to surprise; years of getting out ahead of his brother and father taught him how to see things coming. But nothing could prepare him for Duck rolling to hide his face against Indrid’s chest. Not knowing what else to do, he pats his back, notices a woodsy scent tingling his nose.

“You smell good.” He winces; that was too creepy, now Duck will pull the comforting bulk of his body away.

“Thanks. I bought a bunch of cologne when I realized I was actually going to be a contestant. News clothes too. Thought it would give me an edge but...I dunno, can't compete with a guy like your brother.”

“Join the club.” Indrid reaches up to toy with a lock of Duck’s black hair, expecting Duck to bat him away. Instead, he sighs and turns his head to give Indrid better access.

“You could compete with ‘im. You're cuter. Nicer too.”

“Oh. Ah. Thank you.”

Duck’s fidgets with the mothman pin on Indrid’s jacket, “You wanna cuddle?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“No one cuddles with me. And we ain’t allowed to cuddle Vincent yet.” He looks up, lips pouting just enough to be charming.

Indrid let’s a purr enter his voice, “That’s a shame. I’m happy to cuddle.”

Duck rolls more of his body onto Indrid, resolutely nestling his head under his chin and tangling their legs together. His hands stay on Indrid’s chest and shoulders, though he’s now drunkenly petting Indrid’s collarbone, making him shiver. He expends four months worth of daring in a second, wrapping his arms around the curves of Duck’s torso. When Duck’s fingers brush skin instead of shirt, Indrid whimpers, then bites his lip and prays it went unnoticed.

“You don’t get cuddled much either, do you?” Duck murmurs thoughtfully.

“No.”

“Damn shame, you’re real good at it. Can cuddle me any time.”

Indrid “mmhmms” knowing the promise is like the stars; bright and comforting in the darkness, but ultimately beyond his reach.

Three day later, he drops his guard; Apollo’s been on his good behavior since Vincent’s been spending more time with him. You’d think Indrid would learn by now that all his venom has to go somewhere.

He’s huddled down in the rec room trying not to cry; it’s pathetic enough that he let such childish insults get to him, but to cry over them would confirm everything his brother said.

“Indrid? You, uh, you okay?” Duck’s reflection in the darkened T.V approaches his own.

“I'm fine.” It’s the same inflection he’s used hundreds of times, but Duck sits down on the couch all the same.

“Do you, uh, need a hug?’

“No.” He replies a hair too quickly.

“Do you want one?”

“......Badly.”

Duck opens his arms and Indrid shifts on the cushions, doing his best to curl his long limbs so they’ll fit in his embrace. The shorter man notices, concern flashing on his face.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”

“Okay. You, uh, wanna hear the most exciting news of the day?” He waits for Indrid to nod, “there was a cougar sightin’ in the foothills near here!”

“That is both very exciting and alarming.”

“Doubt it’d go after folks, they try to steer clear of people. We don’t have ‘em back home, but you learn what to do when you’re also learnin how to deal with bears.”

“How does one deal with a bear? Other than buying them a drink.”

Duck snorts, relaxes further into the couch, “Depends on how soon you see ‘em…”

They emerge two hours later, and Indrid is so engrossed in their conversation about hiking incidents that he runs smack into a camera man. While he’s apologizing profusely, Duck guffaws, steadies him, and leads him off in search of somewhere to watch the sunset.

-----------------------------------------

“Oooh, ooh, look, sea lions!” Indrid points to the distant wharf.

“Good eye. Man, those fuckers are big. Glad none of ‘em were in the water when we did that fuckin cliff dive.”

“I for one would pay good money to see my brother chased by a sea lion.”

Duck chuckles, pops the tab on his WhiteClaw. They’re having dinner on the beach, a gourmet spread meant to encourage them to show off their pallets. Indrid took Barclay’s recommendation and ordered the whole, grilled snapper, which he assumed he’d be eating alone; Vincent’s attention has been on Duck ever since he went swimming this morning. Duck seems to be enjoying it, but come dinner time he demurred (“gotta let some of the other fellas have a chance”) and brought his basket of fried oysters over to join Indrid on the sand.

“Speakin of your brother, kinda surprised he didn't make any digs at this whole, uh, situation.” Duck gestures to the torso Indrid is currently aching to lick droplets of saltwater from. To subdue the craving, he licks salt from his fingers before replying.

“I, ah, the last time he tried to, I reminded him of all the pictures I have of him eating. He hates to be seen eating. Most of the time.” He tilts his head towards his twin, who’s chowing down next to Vincent without a care for the cameras. Indrid sets his hand on the warm sand, “I’ve been trying to, well, reign him in as you suggested. Or at least make him think twice about his choices.”

(Indrid omits the part where he’s most likely to risk it if Duck is the one with the target on his back).

Duck sets his hand down beside Indrid’s, brushes sand from the side of it with a calloused thumb, “Mighty good of you. But, uh, think I mighta read things wrong that day. You gotta handle him how you think best. Just, uh, just promise me you won’t sacrifice your own well-bein’ for my sake, or anyone else’s. We’re all grown-ass men; we can handle it.”

“I promise.” He lies.

The other man leans back on his hands, green eyes drifting across the waves. Indrid would gladly sit in silence the rest of the night, it’s so easy to be comfortable in the lull when it’s Duck filling the space beside him.

Eventually, the ranger murmurs, “It’s so fuckin breathtaking. The ocean, I mean. Maybe if you live on a coast you get used to it but man, it is somethin;.”

“More so than the forest?”

Duck smiles, “It’s like apples and oranges. Monongahela got its own charms; you’d have a blast takin pictures and drawin there, believe me. If, uh, if Apollo and I both make it to the final four, uh, maybe we could take a few hours durin’ my hometown visit and I could show you my favorite spot.

Indrid imagines the two of them beneath the trees, walking hand in hand.

“I’d like that.”

---------------------------------------------

“You know you’re just a distraction, right?”

Indrid doesn’t look at his brother, just flips the page in his book, “I doubt that. You’ve said, often, that I’m too off-putting to be interesting.”

“Not when there’s competition for someone superior; Duck knows he might not win. You’re his back-up if he doesn’t, and a way to kill time until the end. Once Vincent sends him home, which he most definitely will, he’ll keep you around until something better comes along.”

“Don’t act like you know him.” Indrid hisses, looking up just in time to see something scurrying behind the triumph on Apollo’s face: fear.

So, his brother has a new weakness. He’ll tuck that away for later; this is shaping up to be an unpleasant conversation, but not one requiring quite that degree of weapon.

“You should thank me. If I weren’t so captivating, Vincent would spend all his time with Duck. Then you’d be without any attention at all. Even Duck’s taste isn’t that abysmal.” He grins his several thousand dollar smile, “he and Vincent are probably laughing about it right now.”

Indrid stands, crosses the tiny room, “Shut up, Apollo.”

Then he slams the door. There’s a yelp, followed by “you hit my nose, you pathetic excuse for a man, ow, open this door this instant I’m not done with you!”

He flicks the lock and sits back on the bed. There’s a tin of sensory putty on his nightstand and he opens it, playing with it between his fingers. Duck brought it for him after a museum date with Vincent. The image of him not only thinking of Indrid when he saw something, but then buying it for him just to see him smile makes him want to grin and hide his face in a pillow like a teenager who just got asked to prom.

But maybe this date is going differently.

Indrid squeezes the putty, repeats the mantra he’s had since he was a child, “Apollo always lies. Apollo always lies.”

Eventually, he’s calm enough to work on some tattoo commissions, is coloring away when there’s a knock on the door. A secret knock Duck invented as a goof. Throwing open the door reveals the shorter man wearing a suit jacket and an exhausted expression. Indrid gestures to the bed, shuts and locks the door as Duck slumps on the mattress and sets his head in his hands.

“Whelp, that was a shit-show.”

“What happened?” Indrid sits cross-legged beside him.

“Vincent went in for a kiss and I, uh, I turned him down. I mean, he took it well because he’s a sweet guy but I, I feel like shit.”

“There’s no shame in not wanting to kiss just yet.”

“That ain’t the problem. I, I wanna kiss someone on this set, but it ain’t him. Indrid” he looks up, green eyes watery, “Indrid, I think I’m fallin in love with you.”

“Oh. I, are you sure-”

“The whole night, and I mean the whole fuckin night, I was thinkin about you. Thought how nice the trip to the botanical gardens would be with you there to point out color combos and get excited about butterflies. Wanted to hold your hand over dinner. Fuck, when they brought out the dessert menu all I could think was how fun it’d be to order one of each thing to surprise you so you’d do that thing you do with your hands when you’re real excited.” Duck turns, sets his hands on Indrid’s shoulders, “‘Drid, if you don’t want this, I’ll back off but-”

Indrid cuts him off with a kiss, let’s strong arms pull him down to the bed and presses as close to Duck as he can, as if any space between them might be a way for the universe to push them apart.

“Than fuck” Duck pants, cupping his face, “wait, fuck, what do we do now? I can’t string poor Vincent on.”

“We’ll get them to let you out of your contract. It can’t be that hard, right?”

--------------------------------------------

“Absolutely not” Ned shakes his head, “dropping out of the show is out of the question.”

“But that ain’t fair to any of us. Can we at least tell Vincent the truth?”

“No, it needs to look as if he naturally decided not to choose you. If not, we could be accused of manipulating results; the last time that happened, the ratings tanked for that season and the next. And my predecessor was fired.”

Duck looks at Indrid, “Guess I’ll just...pull back? That way Vincent won’t have a reason to choose me and’ll let me go soon.”

----------------------------------------------

“Droppin out is outta the question, huh?” Duck mutters to Indrid as they watch Barclay and Joseph walk off holding hands, the host eagerly asking them questions as they go.

“I suppose he didn’t drop so much as sprint.” Indrid glances at the rose in Duck’s hand, “congratulations on making the final...well, final three now.”

“Thanks? Guess Apollo’s pretty happy about it too.”

“Yes, but his ego needs no stroking.” Indrid smiles, “maybe this means you’ll get to show me the woods?”

“I hope so. Huh. What are they gonna do with the rest of us when it’s not our turn for the hometown visit?”

The answer turns out to be: drag everyone to each hometown. Because they no longer have Joe’s trip to do, Ned decided they needed more scenes of the contestants exploring where their competitors came from.

Kepler is first, and tonight is the night Duck’s been dreading. His romantic, home-town date that everyone expects to end with at least some kissing. He manages to make it through dinner, even enjoys showing Vincent the down-town he spent years roaming. But as they start down the river walk for a romantic stroll, his heart is trying to smash its way out of his ribs.

“It’s alright, you know.” Vincent stops, guiding Duck to face him, “the fact you want to be with Indrid.”

“I, uh, fuck, I, I don’t not know, uh, fuck-” he closes his eyes, “how’d you know?”

“I’m more observant than I get credit for.” Vincent brushes his cheek, “I’ve had a hunch for weeks now, but I kept you around because I liked having you here, even if I suspected it wasn’t going to end with us together. I’m very fond of you, Duck. You deserve someone who makes you happy. I promise I’ll send you home this next rose ceremony”

“Christ” Duck chuckles, “you’re a hell of a guy too, Vince. I hope whoever you pick treats you right. I, uh, can I, should we…?”

Vincent plants a chaste kiss on his cheek, then smiles, “go get him.”

----------------------------------------

“Any twos?”

“No. Go fish.”

Apollo grumbles as he takes another card. Given Duck and Vincent are on their date, neither he nor Indrid is having a good night. Before Indrid can make his ask, his twin says, “How do you get people to like you?”

“Why do you care? You’ve made it this far, so obviously Vincent likes you a great deal”

“I don’t just mean him. I, I mean, I want him to like me. To want me. But I suspect he’d like me better if other people did.”

Indrid idly taps his cards, “I suggest you stop acting like our father.”

“I’m nothing like him!” Apollo squawks.

“Oh, but you are. Everything he taught us you still hold as true; you’re just the newest version of men like him. Self-absorbed. Cruel. Shallow. I’m amazed you’ve gotten this far with Vincent, given that the age difference means you’d be caring for him in his old age.”

“I, I can care for him. I will!”

“Apollo, I wouldn’t trust you to care for a potted plant.” He sets his cards down.

“At least I’m not a-”

“Ambitionless deviant who has to ride his brother’s coattails to survive?”

“Wha--how-”

“Like I said; you’re just like him. Down to your insults.” Indrid stands, “I’m going to bed. I suggest you do the same.”

His brother remains speechless--a rare state for him--as he closes the door and heads for his room. He doubts Duck will do anything on the date (hell, the two of them have only been able to steal some kisses now and then), but the whole charade has him feeling low.

There are far more cameras in the rented house than there were a few hours ago. Which means the rest of the crew is back. Does that also mean…

“Hey, sugar. I was just lookin for you.”

--------------------------------------------------

Duck’s glad his door is open, because otherwise Indrid would have smashed it to pieces dragging them both through it. He’d only gotten out the barest explanation before the taller man was kissing his face and tugging at his clothes, purring “mine” over and over again.

“Yep, all yours.” He shuts the door as Indrid mouths at his neck, “which also means you’re all mine.” He yanks Indrid’s black sweater up and over his head, sends the matching t-shirt after it a moment later. Indrid whines, fumbling with Duck’s dress shirt, and he gets an idea.

“Uh uh, only good boys who show me why they deserve it get to feel me up.”

Indrid groans into his shoulder, fisting the fabric of his jacket “What constitutes good behavior in this instance?”

“One sec, don’t go nowhere.” He starts to step past him, pauses to grips his chin and pull him into another kiss, “and no peekin.”

As he digs through his bag for the strap on he brought just in case, he keeps an eye on Indrid to be sure he’s following the directions. The taller man’s fingers twitch, but his head stays still. God, Duck is going to memorize the shape of each of the tattoos decorating his skin with his mouth.

“You did real good.” He slips around Indrid once more, resting his back on the wall. Indrid notices the new bulge in his pants and thuds to his knees.

“May I?”

“You better.”

Indrid undoes the button of his fly. Then he looks at Duck over the rim of his glasses as he takes the zipper between his teeth and pulls it down. When the black silicone of the strap breaks free, Indrid cocks his head as if unsure of his options. Duck doesn’t really have a plan--he just wants to be with him, to make him feel good and show him just what weeks of pent-up desire have done to him--but he’s starting to regret that choice.

Indrid flicks hair from his face and wraps his lips around the head of the cock experimentally. He hums, sucking on it a moment, then pulls back blushing, “This is going to sound strange but, ah, I, I really like that. It’s such a lovely texture on my tongue, it’s, it’s almost soothing to suck.”

“Guess you better keep suckin it then, huh?” Duck runs the fingers of his right hand through Indrid’s hair.

“Is that really alright? It can’t feel like much on your end.”

“Don’t mean it ain’t fun to watch. But, uh” he touches the edge of Indrid’s red glasses, “it okay if I take these off?”

Indrid nods and Duck slides them free, tucks them into his breast pocket for safekeeping as Indrid draws the cock into his mouth again. He focuses on the head at first, humming and moaning as it bumps his cheek. Then Duck sees him swallow and relax the muscles of his jaw as he presses closer. Little puffs of breath tickle Duck’s skin as Indrid gets most of the cock in his mouth, cheeks hollowing and head bobbing as he sucks. Hungry noises burlbe up his throat, and the more he lets himself go the messier he becomes, spit coating his lips and eyes fluttering closed in bliss.

“Okay, I lied.”

Brown eyes shoot him a disbelieving look.

“This ain’t fun. This is one of the hottest fuckin things I’ve ever seen.”

Indrid wiggles happily on his knees, left hand dropping to rubs his own cock through his jeans.

“Needy little thing, gotta have somethin down your throat and around your dick at the same time.”

“MMMhhmmm” Indrid purrs, the picture of filthy perfection.

“If, if you swallow the whole thing, I’ll let you finger-fuck me.”

Both hands fly to his thighs with an excited moan. Indrid’s brow crinkles with determination as he slowly, carefully brings his lips to the base of the toy. Duck groans out “good boy” and shoves his pants down, Indrid helping to drag them to his ankles. Indrid keeps his left hand on Duck’s hip while the right hovers below his folds. Duck takes it, the toy making the angle a bit awkward, and guides it against him.

“Start with one.”

Indrid nods, moans reverently as he obeys. Duck curses, looks down to find Indrid watching him attentively. Duck is going to wreck him. Then he’s going to cuddle him to sleep and wonder at the fact he got this lucky.

“You’re doin’ great, sugar. Promise I’ll tell you if you need to adjustOH, ohyeah” he lets his head rest against the chipped white of the door, “that’s the spot. Fuck it, add one more, Ahfuck, yeah, those artists fingers are fuckin perfect for this.”

Another purr and then a sharp, choked noise. Duck looks down, realizing he rolled his hips without meaning to. Before he can apologize, Indrid grips his thigh and shakes his head.

“You like that?”

“Mmhhmmm” Indrid traces a heart on his belly.

“You’ll pull off you need to?”

“Mhmmmm.” Indrid curls his fingers as his stretched lips manage to grin.

“Fuck!” Duck giggles, “okay, if my darlin wants his face fucked, that’s what he’ll get.” He keeps a hand on Indrid’s shoulder as he lets loose, grunts and curses mingling with the increasingly wet moans of his cock claiming Indrid’s throat. Soon he’s out of words, too busy with the sight of himself forcing Indrid’s lips apart as he tightens around his fingers. Handjobs are a toss-up for him most days; sometimes they work, other times he can’t cum from them at all. It turns out what makes it very easy to do so is-

“‘Drid, fuck, fuck, sugar, yeah, right there, rightthererightthere ohfuckyeah.” He cums, jerking his hips hard enough to punch a new, high sound from Indrid’s throat. The other man pulls off, rests his cheek on Duck’s belly with shuddery, satisfied sighs.

“Y’know” Duck unbuttons his shirt from the bottom up so Indrid can more easily nuzzle the skin there, “I had this whole plan where I was gonna fuck you with this and then ride your face to cum.”

“I’m not opposed.” Indrid grins, bouncing a bit.

“Yeah, but I’ve only got one in me tonight. So” He tosses the shirt away, pulls off the harness as Indrid nibbles his hips, “if you wanna cum, you’re gonna have to do all the work.”

An edge enters his smile, “I can manage that.”

Duck hits the floor with a whump, Indrid trapping him on his back and climbing atop him, all the while kissing him with abandon.

“May I fuck you?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Condom?”

“Dop kit, bathroom, aw come back.”

“Patience, sweetheart” Indrid blows him a kiss, returns a few moments later doing an inelegant dance to kick his jeans and boxers away, “got one!”

“Good, now get back down here before I-AHfuck!” Indrid is on him and in him so fast it knocks his breath away.

“Before what? You’re not going anywhere, you’re mine, alllllll mine.” He drags kisses across Duck’s cheek, then bites his chapped lip as he looks down at him, “right?”

“You know it, nnng, fuck, that’s it sugar, be a good boy and cum for me. Fuck, darlin, wanted this so bad.” He locks his fingers into silver hair to keep Indrid in kissing distance as the other man whimpers, thrusts shallow and rabbity.

“Want you too, so much, I’ll be worth it, I swear, I’ll be good, I’ll, I’ll make you so happy.”

Duck rests their foreheads together, “You already do.”

There’s a high, gasping moan, almost like a chirp, and Indrid rides out his orgasm in drawn-out rolls of his hips. Then he collapses, laughing, on Duck’s chest.

“I, I’m sorry, I just never thought I’d get this. Someone wanting me. Choosing me.”

“I mean, I went on a T.V show to find love, so I know a little somethin about that fear. But I also know findin you is better than anythin I ever imagined.”

“Likewise.” Indrid nestles closer, one hand reaching out to hold Duck’s where it’s flopped on the rug.

“...You realize this means there’s a fifty-fifty chance your brother will win.”

Indrid shrugs, lifts his head to smile at Duck, “I leave that to Vincent. I already got my prize.”

#indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #bachelor au #meet ugly

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scribble-blog · 5 years

Text

Soulmate AU, part 2

masterpost next

*****

As the plane leaves Paris, Marinette can just make out the small dots of brightly colored heroes on a rooftop, letting their temporary Ladybug get used to the ins and outs of the suit. In Marinette’s purse are Kaalki and Trixx, and Adrien and Chloé are in the seats around her, moved to first class by Chloé’s father’s decree. Gotham is hours away, and then minutes, and then they are there, with the entire vacation that Marinette planned out stretching ahead of them.

Except that with each hour in Gotham, she feels more and more restless instead of relaxed. She could blame the sleepless nights worrying over her Maman being Ladybug back in Paris, as Marinette keeps the LadyBugOut app open and watching, or she could blame Lila and her stubborn plans to make Marinette miserable, even here on the other side of an ocean- or even the fact that she can’t really do much design work here besides drawing, all of her nervous energy contained and balled up instead of poured into her most recent project.

When she sees him for the first time, the class is loading up on a bus outside a museum, and he brushes against her on the sidewalk the way people do when the streets are busy.

Except each point of contact between their skin feels like a livewire, and he jolts with it as much as she does, holding the hand that had brushed her arm like he’d been wounded.

Marinette is frozen, but Chloé pulls her onto the bus, and all she gets from her soulmate is a bewildered stare from dark green eyes.

The bus jumps into traffic and he’s gone and it’s too late.

Marinette feels drained and overflowing, empty and inexplicably full and her arm tingles. She doesn’t know how, when she has never seen his face before and certainly wasn’t able to check his name, but she knows it was him.

And her soulmate is gone.

*****

Damian has been filled with restless, relentless energy for the past week. His stoic demeanor cracks with occasional fidgeting, he is quicker than ever to snap on patrol and the lesser villains and thugs spread about that Robin is particularly not happy and perfectly willing to take it out on whatever criminals he can find as he prowls about the rooftops.

He starts walking the streets whenever he can, with school on break, no important cases, no work to be done he just prowls about in plain daylight, thanking once again that Bruce has chosen for all of his children to be kept out of any sort of limelight.

No one recognizes him, with his hair let loose and more mundane clothing on. He’s outside the Museum when he sees a bus loading up with students his age. He pays it no attention, brushes past them, and then has his whole body tense as what feels like electricity shoots through him from the hand that had just touched the tourists; he spins around, cradling his hand in the other and eyes desperately scanning the crowd.

He sees her even as a pushy blonde yanks her into the bus, her wide blue eyes trained on him.

He knows it’s her. He can’t stop staring, even through the dingy bus windows as they pull away, and he’s forced to look back at something that isn’t the bus, already lost in traffic.

She’d looked so- shocked. He flexed his hand, phantom echoes of that lightning warming his veins. For the moment they’d been in front of each other like that, all of the driving force behind his restlessness had drifted away, untethered. Now it ties itself back to him so tightly it is constricting, the manic need to move, to find her.

He has to find her.

*****

Marinette feels calm sweep over her, and she turns to Chloé in the seat beside her and breathes, “I think that was my soulmate.”

Chloé’s words cut off. “Nette, you’d better be fucking joking.”

“I don’t know, I just- he brushed against me, I didn’t even see him, but it literally felt like electricity, and then he turned and looked at me as you pulled me away and I- it’s him. I don’t know how I know, I just-“

She’s on the brink of panic. Chloé takes her hands and digs her nails into the skin, the sharp pinpricks of pain grounding. “Listen to me, Nette. We’ll find him. If I have to derail this whole fucking trip and blow off Bruce Wayne himself I will.”

Marinette makes a sudden mental leap. “Oh. Shit.”

She pulls down the edge of her shirt, leaning into the corner so no one inside or outside will see her slip the shoulder all the way off to reveal the name “Damian Wayne.”

“Oh,” Chloé echoes. “Shit.”

*****

Damian goes to a public library, rents out seven different computers and then steals someone else’s as they stand to go to the restroom or hunt down a book or something.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng” yields far more than he ever expected it to as an internet search. The same eyes he’d just been so fixated by stare out from every page, from articles about her successes in quite a few fashion contests with relatively small payouts but many big names attached to them. Stories about community events organized by her, her association with Jagged Stone painstakingly detailed by hardcore fans, delving into the speculation that she could be the elusive MDC who is now Jagged’s only trusted designer, occasionally loaned out to his friends and fellow musicians.

He finds the website for her school, Françoise DuPont, and reads the small article of congratulations for the class that won a trip to Wayne Enterprises in Gotham. He crosses directly to the Wayne Enterprises website and finds the mentions of both the contest and the winners from France who were scheduled to be in Gotham for three weeks, culminating in an event hosted by Bruce Wayne to award the class.

The class picture is sweet, and he spots her so easily, her smile sunny and warm. He closes it all out and returns the computer to its original user, and he starts walking the long miles back to the Manor from where he’d wandered today.

He knew he couldn’t do anymore searching on his own without being discovered by his family. So he must bring one of his family members in on this, hopefully one able to stave off the rest of his nosy siblings.

He could always ask Alfred, but it feels far too much like taking the easy way out. Instead, he takes an abnormal route to swing by one of the two rooms he has almost never visited. He was almost proud of himself for making the obvious choice, especially because he knew that none of the others would ever think he would willingly go to him for help.

Drake looks up from his desk when he knocks on the open door.

“I need your assistance,” Damian says, and his adopted brother’s mouth drops open.

*****

taglist

@the-fusionist @rebecarojas07 @lowandco @kotaleartzu @resignedcatservant @mystery-5-5 @ladybug-182 @actual-disaster-human @loysydark @alenee13 @rumbelle18

#maribat #daminette #daminette soulmates #soulmate au #fanfic

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bentforkent · 4 years

Text

to the moon and to saturn - chapter one

spencer reid x fem!reader

navigation and summary

word count: 2753

no content warnings

next chapter

seven

“you’re boring.”

“no, i’m not, y/n!”

“you never want to play pirates with me!”

spencer’s hair is long and his glasses are sliding down his nose. the light seeping into y/n’s room from her large bay window is muted by the white sheet covering it. the sheet rests precariously over a chair, forming a blanket fort carefully engineered by spencer, and haphazardly constructed by y/n. there are throw pillows tossed throughout the fort, and spencer makes an attempt to straighten them whenever he gets the chance. whenever he comes to y/n’s house, ringing her doorbell with a backpack full of books, they work together to add on to their secret hideaway. the white sheet is the newest addition, especially designed to let more natural light into the blanket burg. this follows a poor mishap where a lamp y/n had left on too long burnt a hole through her carpet.

previously, the pair had constructed a stuffed animal room, a reading corner, a designated snack area. y/n’s starting to run out of linens. the fort has been standing for weeks now, y/n’s parents very rarely involved enough to enter her room, giving her and spencer free reign to create their own imaginary worlds to play in undisturbed.

except spencer, with all his practicality, isn’t particularly adept at the “playing in imaginary worlds” part. y/n can’t comprehend that. it’s simple for her to slip into a different universe, enjoyable, even. she’s begged spencer to play mermaids, bank robbers, fbi agents, firefighters, princesses---you name it. spencer indulges her for the most part, but y/n can always tell that he’s not that into it. he’s much fonder of tucking into some obscure poetry book, reading aloud when y/n requests. she never comprehends much of what he’s saying, but he reads so confidently that it fills her with glee anyways.

for seven year olds, it’s clear to outsiders that they both don’t quite act their age. y/n, with her big doe eyes, dreams too much, her escapism both her greatest asset and most fatal flaw. spencer’s a stickler to the realistic, his pragmatic nature an unconscious choice that gives him a beautiful worldview but will make him grow up too fast. for now, though, the children don’t worry about that. they worry solely about balancing each other out and the purity that comes with being in youth.

y/n is splayed on her back on the floor of the fort, where her scratchy carpet is covered with a fluffy pink blanket. her hair fans out around her head in a halo. spencer’s physics book is closed and set gently in the corner, and he’s attempting to braid a small chunk of y/n’s hair. “pirates is my least favorite game,” he says.

“what about knights?” y/n angles herself to look back at him. she’s far too young to execute a soul searching gaze, but the way her eyes strain to scan his face comes close. she takes note of his facial expression giving away his inner thoughts. the way his lip quirks up indicates that he definitely does not want to play knights with the girl in front of him, but the softness in his eyes tells y/n that she’s won.

without another word, they crawl out from their blanket fort and jump onto the bed. “my armor is blue,” y/n says, unsheathing an imaginary sword and holding it up in joust. “knight armor was typically made of iron or steel, and there was no way to make it blue in the late 15th century,” spencer piped up, mirroring her actions. he likes playing at y/n’s house. his parents would never let him jump on the bed. y/n’s parents let the two of them do a lot of things, spencer thinks, and he’s never heard them fight like his parents do either.

“cool, spencer!” y/n says enthusiastically. she’s always enthusiastic when he tells her a fact, even though she rarely really understands him. she knows people are terrible to spencer because of his intellect, and had made a pact with herself when they first became friends that she would never ever ever be mean to spencer for being smart. “we can pretend, though. yours can be blue too!”

“okay,” he replies, and y/n begins to coach him through the game, attempting to loosen him up a bit. they play, bouncing around on the bed and wielding fake medieval weapons until the sun begins to go down and spencer remarks that he needs to go home before dark or his mom will be upset.

y/n reluctantly lets him leave, knowing that he has a lot less fun at his house, but finding comfort in the fact that he’ll come back the next day.

spencer and y/n spend every day together, without fail. they’re young, and they don’t know much about life, but they know that they’re the only people for each other. they’ve been inseparable since y/n had toddled into spencer’s first grade class and heard him reciting a john lyngate poem. her favorite book at that time was a brightly colored picture book, so she was both fascinated and confused by the boy in glasses in front of her. that day, they’d sat together on the bus and chatted the whole way home. the pure elation that occurred when the children realized they shared the same bus stop was unmatched. y/n, who’d just moved to las vegas, was relieved she’d met a friend in her new hometown.

she didn’t really meet any other friends after associating herself with spencer. he’d warned her that being his best friend was basically social suicide, but y/n was already attached to him like superglue. once, a girl in their class had tried to invite y/n to sit with her at lunch. the girl not-so-subtly made it clear that spencer was not invited to the table, and y/n had shut that down quickly with a swift spoonful of red jell-o down her shirt. spencer decided then that red jell-o was his favorite.

to sum it all up, in super simple terms, y/n and spencer were close. and everyone in their town knew it, including their parents, although both sets of adults were generally nonplussed about what their children were involved in as long as they were alive and surviving.

y/n’s parents aren’t neglectful, per se. she’d just had to learn how to fend for herself very early on. y/n’s existence had been an accident, and although she didn’t know that in explicit terms, it wasn’t hard to figure out based on the lack of maternal instincts from her mother. y/n’s mother sat on the back porch of their house a lot, looking out at their tiny, barren backyard with a cigarette in hand. her father went away on many business trips, coming back to greet the family only with a pat on y/n’s head before he padded up to the bedroom to slip into bed. one day, y/n would realize the intensity of the mental health problems both of her parents were suffering from, but as a child, the adults in her life just felt far away.

spencer’s parents were similar in a sense that they weren’t the best. rather than the silence that settled over y/n’s house, his home filled with argument. it’s why he found solace with y/n, with their blanket fort. y/n’d offered to let him live with them constantly, but spencer couldn’t leave his mother. his father? he couldn’t care less. but his mother...as much as spencer longs to spend his days curled up in y/n’s bed, reading, he knows above anything else, he’s got to protect his mother.

after closing the door behind spencer, y/n skips to the kitchen to pour herself a drink. her and spencer had made fresh lemonade the day before, squeezing lemons y/n had stolen from her neighbor’s tree. spencer had been in charge of the sugar, and he’d added way too much. the pair tried it, though, and liked the super sweet taste.

y/n fills her glass with ice, having to stand on her tippy toes to reach it in the freezer. after the cup is filled with the sugary beverage, she takes a second to peer out of the window and check on her mom outside. y/n expected to find her in her usual plastic chair, cloud of smoke encircling her. but she wasn’t there. this was odd. she sets her sweating glass down on the table, and wanders upstairs to get a location on her mother.

loud moans float down from the top of the stairs, and y/n, ever naive, follows the sound to its source. the stairs creak under her feet, her house old and probably close to crumbling. y/n pushes the door to her parents’ room open with both hands, and is immediately sick at the sight. at seven years old, she doesn’t fully understand what’s happening, but she knows that whatever she is seeing is wrong.

william reid, spencer’s father, is laid naked next to her mother, also fully exposed. they’re startled by the door opening, shocked to see young y/n standing there, witnessing their adultery. the three of them are in a trance, suspended in surprise. y/n’s brain is moving a mile a minute, she knows, but she can’t seem to form any cohesive thoughts except “this is not right.” it feels like forever that y/n is holding eye contact with william before her mother speaks. “y/n,” she starts, but y/n doesn’t stick around to hear the end of the sentence. she’s out of the bedroom and out of the house in 30 seconds flat.

as she runs down the suburban street, she’s barely aware of the tears rolling down her cheeks or the pain in her feet. she’d forgotten shoes. she runs, runs, runs, hair flowing behind her. she runs until her thoughts catch up to her. where can she go? she realizes that her body had been taking her straight to spencer’s house, but she couldn’t. how could she look him in the eye? how could she tell him that her own mother is responsible for his family falling apart? how could she ever even be near him again? stopping in the middle of the road, y/n lets out an anguished scream. a ferocious scream. a scream that claws its way out of her chest. and then, sufficiently exhausted by both her physical activity and her emotional despair, she turns back the way she came and begins to trek back towards her house.

- - - - - -

“penny, i have no clue how you do your job,” y/n says, handing the blonde woman before her a hot macchiato in a to-go cup.

her hair is longer now, her eyes more weary. the wonder she felt as a child is long gone, sucked out of her on that fateful night. y/n hardly thinks about it anymore, but that night after she had gone home, her mother made her pack her bags and took her as far away from vegas as possible. as far away from spencer as possible. she never saw him again. it’s been almost twenty years since she’d last seen the geeky boy. the loss of her childhood best friend was a dull wound now, one tucked safely in the back of her subconscious. sometimes she wonders how he turned out, but their time together feels more like a dream than a memory.

y/n moved away from her parents as soon as she turned 18, straight to washington d.c.. with no money, no degree, no friends or family, y/n turned to her work. she got a job in a tiny coffee shop, and the elderly lady who owned it took her under her wing. her name was janice, and she was an old, childless widow. y/n’s kind disposition filled a void janice had given up on trying to fill, and the two became a fierce pair. janice provided y/n with the apartment above the shop, higher-than-minimum wage, and when janice passed five years later, y/n inherited the coffee shop itself. she’d been owning and running it ever since.

it was at this shop that she met penelope garcia. penelope frequented the kitschy coffee place before work, and had gained quite the soft spot for the raven-haired owner. the two of them chatted every morning as y/n flitted around behind the counter, making whatever caffeine-filled concoction penelope had ordered. eventually, their friendship progressed past casual small talk at y/n’s work into wine-filled sleepover nights at their apartments.

“my job is hard, my friend,” penelope replies, shuddering. “some of the stuff i see gives me the heebie jeebies.”

“yeah, like dead bodies.” y/n turns and begins making her own personal coffee to start the day, penelope leaning on the counter in front of her. “heebie jeebies is an understatement!” y/n faces penelope again and grins, pouring copious amounts of sugar into a mug that janice had used while running the café.

“you know, y/n, i only know one other person in the world that takes that much sugar in their coffee,” penelope remarks while she watches the barista stir her obscenely sweet coffee with a wooden stirrer.

“hmm, they must be my soulmate, then,” y/n says. penelope’s ears perk up at that. she makes her way to the door, and y/n raises her mug in lieu of a wave. “have fun at work, pen! see you at your place tonight! i’ll bring wine!” penelope responds with a witty goodbye and heads to work, just the jingle of the bells on the door to signify she was ever there.

-----

penelope saunters into the behavioral analysis unit office 30 minutes later, cup of coffee long empty. “good morning, babygirl,” derek says.

“i’ll show you a good morning, hot stuff,” penelope deadpans, walking through the bullpen to greet all of her coworkers. penelope’s so bright that she immediately lights up the dreary BAU.

“spencer!” she calls, prompting the shaggy haired doctor to look up from his desk.

“good morning, garcia,” he says with a small wave.

“this morning, i got coffee at my favorite place,” penelope begins to gush, “and the barista puts just as much sugar in her coffee as you do!”

spencer doesn't understand why garcia is telling him this until she continues.

“this particular barista happens to be super cute and also one of my closest friends.”

spencer shakes his head with a laugh. “no, garcia, i’m not letting you set me up again.”

“okay, the first one was not good, i’ll admit.” she perches on the edge of his desk.

“but i actually know this girl! and i love her!”

spencer shakes his head again, giving penelope a light, joking push off of her seat. “no,” he emphasizes, and garcia gives him a dramatic sigh.

“okay,” she says, dragging out the word. “i’m going to go to my lair now to give you time to

think about it.” she presses a kiss to the top of his head, and with a ruffle of his hair, she floats to her office.

i’ll convince him, she thinks. i mean, how could i not? coffee aside, the kids are perfect for each other. she doesn’t know how she missed the blatant similarities between them. penelope’s usually very perceptive, and that makes her really good at setting people up. i might as well be cupid, she thinks, except for that one date i’d sent spencer on. she chooses to ignore that one. a minor lapse in judgement.

penelope pulls out her phone to text y/n.

penelope (7:56): y/n, my love, my light, i have found the most perfect guy for you

y/n (7:57): no penny, not again

y/n (7:57): remember the last date you set me up on?

oh yeah, penelope remembers. she’d sent both of her friends on two completely separate, shitty dates. maybe cupid wasn’t the best nickname for her.

penelope (7:59): you’re right. ugh. ix-nay on that idea then

she attaches a lot of sad emojis, then tucks her phone away. there goes that. penelope tucks that idea away, into the depths of her brain, and forgets about it.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler fluff #Spencer Reid angst #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds smut #my writing #to the moon and to saturn #to the moon and to saturn chapter one #Spencer Reid x you

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knowltonsrangers · 4 years

Text

Alphabet: Lafayette

[a/n: Here’s Laf!! For the lovely @thefanficnerd ❤️Hope u enjoy! ❤️]

Marquis de Lafayette x reader

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Anytime, any place, anywhere. Between tucking loose hairs back behind your ears, to looping your fingers together in a tight hold, the answer to affection is always yes. Laf shows affection in his own ways, and it’s these little things that send you into a flurry.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Oh, literally the sweetest guy! He’s a good friend, because he’s an excellent listener and is brimming with amazing advice. He’d always give you a choice, and never turn his back. If something were to occur with your friendship, he wouldn’t get mad and blow you off. He’d like to talk it out and make amends, if plausible. Text him at 3 am? He’ll answer moments later. He’d be there every step of the way, no matter what!

The friendship could start literally anywhere. Laf is a little less shy then Baker, so he’d spark a conversation just based on the shirt you’re wearing. Sitting next to him in a long lecture hall is always entertaining, because passing notes or working on assignments together is almost a given.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

OH BOY YES. Switches between big & little spoon, but I’d say he’s 75% of the time big spoon in cuddling. Just cause he’s always wanting to show how much he loves you, and when he’s got you in front of him, it takes so much willpower to not kiss you silly. He cuddles in bed, and snuggles on the couch.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Oh yes! Yes to settling down, for sure! It’ll only take a couple months of dating to see how much of his heart he gives to you, so moving in together is a given if you are down for that!

About cooking & cleaning, man he is absolutely the best roommate on those types of things. While you both have designated chores and such when it comes to cleaning, cooking is where it becomes fun. Time in the kitchen is best spent, because of the shared meals and laughs. Getting to make dinner together is almost as fun as eating it together!

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I hate to say it, but Laf is pretty loyal to a fault. He’s extremely trusting and maybe that goes over his head sometimes. If he had to break up with you for a reason, I’d take him some time alone to really think it over. It would most likely be an argument that would ignite the fire, but maybe a build up of things start the sparks.

Breaking up would be absolutely in person, and it would be calmly stated. No fighting, because his hearts already shattered.

(this made me so sad to type ffffs)

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Commitment is 100%! When you got him, he’s yours. He wouldn’t jump down your throat about marriage, but it would come up naturally. Because it only takes him a short time to know that your his soulmate, and whenever you’re ready, he’ll wait until then!

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

GENTLE is like the word I use the most to describe Laf! (especially TURN! Laf) regarding physically, his touches are feather light and full of emotions. Emotionally, I’d say he has a better guard up than most. Similar to Baker, it’d take a low blow to see him get upset or angry. He’s careful with his feelings, but he’s very open with you about them.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

If y’all ain’t holding hands, y’all are hugging. Laf loves to slide his arms around your shoulders and squeeze you silly. He loves to mumble how much he loves you in your ear, and press kisses all along your temple. 🥺

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I’d say after six months, give or take. If one of you were to go away for a while, he’d probably say it then, because half his heart is missing when you’re not around. He’d either say it in a moment of confidence, or a moment of vulnerability. If you say it first, all his doubts vanish and he’ll reply energetically the same!

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

35%? That’s a bit much, and I don’t see him as a jealous boyfriend type! it’s not so much that he’s insecure, but it’s that he enjoys and cherishes his memories with you. If someone else were to wedge in and divide your relationship in half, he’d be jealous of the less and less time spent together.

And on what he’d do? He’d talk to you about it. Pull you aside about it one night. He’s eager and willing to find a solution!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

ANGELIC. No cap! Soft and fluttery and warm. He loves to kiss you on the corners of your mouth, but kisses are never scarce just at the tops of your cheekbones. Kissing away any sad day tears :,)

He loves to be kissed on the underside of his jaw, but he melts when you peck him on the lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

BEST. Dad mode? Activated. He’ll sit himself right on the ground, no matter where, and carry on a conversation with a child for as long as they’d like. If you have family that is younger or an infant, he’s all over them at gatherings and such. His voice is so caring and soft, and his accent floats along with his words in such a calming tone.

Babies fall asleep in his arms INSTANTLY

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

smooching over coffee or tea. Just kidding! Well, kinda. Good Morning kisses are a must, and while it’s very difficult to get out of bed, y’all drag each other out. Monday’s it’s Laf, Friday’s it’s usually you. By the end of the week, you’re wiped out, and Laf is just a bundle of energy.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

MOVIE DATES AND DINNER DATES AND WALKS IN THE PARK AND HAND HOLDING AND FEEDING DUCKS. Could all be in one night or just several different dates. It doesn’t matter, Laf just enjoys doing the simplest things with you!

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Rather slowly, I’d say? It’s just by his nature to want to hear the most he can about you, because he’s throughly interested. He just wants to know your favorite color, food, season.. literally everything! And don’t be discouraged that he’s not sharing his favorites with you, just ask :) He actually doesn’t even realize that he’s withholding information. There is no keeping secrets with him!

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It takes a lot, and I mean a LOT to get Laf angry. He is so usually calm and collected, that seeing him in an angered frenzy is kinda shocking. If you catch him on a bad day, be careful to note that it’s most likely not his intention to direct any anger at you. If he catches himself being cross with you, expect a dozen apologies and kisses later.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He doesn’t have a photographic memory, but it’s pretty damn close! Birthdays, anniversaries, and important dates are always on his calendar!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

when you said you loved him back 🥺 he’d be, for lack of a better term,,, apprehensive of your response? If you say you do in fact, love him? His heart leaps in his chest and he all but jumps for joy. He’s opening his heart to you, and he’d remember that moment forever.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

BIG MAYBE. He’s not overprotective-but if some guy or gal was getting up in your business, unwanted attention of course, he’d throw an arm around your shoulder and assert his relationship to you very clearly.

Him, on the other hand, will wave you off and say that he’s fine to handle himself in these situations, because he never wants to see you get hurt. But, by all means, glue yourself to his side and shoo the other person away. A sad Laf is a sad y/n.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

10,000%. See’s a daisy outside Washington’s HQ and brings it back home to you. Because it “reminded him of you”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Leaves coffee mugs out until they stain the bottom with brown rings.

Hm. Also known to vacuum at odd hours.

OH and the only other thing he’s guilty of is sometimes forgetting to kiss you exactly every possible moment of the day.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s effortlessly extremely attractive. He’s about as concerned as a mouse.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

THE PHATEST YES IN ALL THE UNIVERSE

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Laf has a U.S. quarter collection. Don’t @ me.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He’s not a fan of a messy house. While he is so guilty of leaving small things about, he’d never scold you for leaving your keys on the floor because they just missed the hook. But he can’t live in a mess. His desk is always tidy and beaming with professionalism.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps 8 hours a day! Snoozes with you are always a 10 on his scale. He’s always ready to fall into a nap with you, suffocating you into a hug to cuddle. Laf snores, just a bit. Not loud enough to wake you!

[tag list!: @shieldblacksailsonfrontier @thefanficnerd @simvez @viper-official @the-anxious-youth @boredthreatrekid ]

#sul writes #marquis de Lafayette #lafayette #turn lafayette #turn amc #turn washington's spies #lafayette x reader #alphabet prompt

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years

Text

Don’t Judge Me

Chapter 2 of my Untitled (for now) Song Series. Here’s the link to Chapter 1 if you haven’t read it.

Word count: 5348

CW: smut

The next morning, Ashanti woke up in a sweat about thirty minutes earlier than usual. She had dreamed of the mystery man again, only this time he wasn’t such a mystery anymore even though his face was still a blur. She’d recognize his gait anywhere and his warm cocoa butter scent filled her nose. She had been dreaming about the king, and this time they went further than a kiss.

She peeled off the big T-shirt she slept in and fanned herself to cool down, but then she noticed a stickiness between her legs...

“I can't believe I had a whole ass wet dream about the king.” She whispered to herself as her mind drifted back to what she was experiencing just minutes ago. It only came to her in flashes, but she could still feel his big hands all over her body and his tongue making its way down to her center before swirling around her still throbbing pussy. She felt her pussy stretch as he entered her from behind and his balls slapping against her clit. She felt his hand squeezing the sides of her throat, and just as they came together she woke up.

The memory made her pussy throb even more as more wetness dripped out of her. She couldn't help but to trace her nipples with her left hand and trail her right hand down her body, taking the same path Dream T’Challa took down to her aching pearl. Her fingers stroked her clit and she let out a moan, still thankful for the soundproof walls.

His voice played in her head.

Say my name.

“Mmm, T’Challa…”

Do you like when I fuck you like this?

“Ewe kumkani wam”

Oooh, you like it rough, don't you? Nasty girl...

“Mmm just for you, baby.”

That’s not my name. What’s my fucking name?

“Kumkani”

Uh-huh, there you go kitten. Turn over…

Look at me.

That’s right, cum on my dick just like that. Cum for your Kumkani.

Mmm, I’m not pulling out. I’m staying right here and filling you up. Oh, you like that? Good. I want you overflowing with me. Can you do that for me baby? Can I cum in this pussy?

“Cum in your pussy Kumkani.”

Ashanti’s legs began to shake and the tingling in her lower abdomen began to overwhelm her senses. Her body tensed up then she released all over her fingers with a loud jagged moan. She came down from her high while slowly playing in the pool of wetness that had collected between her lips.

She loved starting her day with an orgasm, and she hoped that maybe it would end with one too if her date went well enough.

Ashanti peeled herself from her bed and got up to get her day started. She went for her usual morning run, ate breakfast with her roommates, then went to open the store just like any other workday. The only difference being she was getting progressively more nervous about her date with the king as time went on. It was a slow day in the Bazaar, so she closed her shop down around 4 and went to visit her parents before the dinner rush.

She walked into the restaurant and saw her mom sitting at a table rolling flatware, so she silently sat down beside her and proceeded to roll with her. Five minutes passed before Ashanti gave a sigh and looked like she had something to say that she couldn’t quite get out. Bisa knew something was seriously bothering her, but she also knew her child would eventually tell her.

“So I have a date tonight.”

A crash was heard from the kitchen as her dad emerged seemingly out of nowhere.

“With who?!”

“I can’t tell you…”

Chidi and Bisa looked at each other in confusion.

“What do you mean you can't tell us? You tell us everything!”

“More than we need to know, most times…”

“Chidi, hush. Honey, who is this person?”

“Mama, Baba...if I tell you then you have to promise to keep this between us.” “Of course baby”, they said in unison. Ashanti took a deep breath.

“I have a date with King T’Challa…”

They stared at her in disbelief. Chidi looked like he had seen a ghost and Bisa’s excitement grew by the second.

“Oh my Bast! Baby, how did you...of course he’d be an idiot not to, but how...he's the king!”

“I don't like it…” Chidi grumbled as Bisa hit his arm.

“Baba! Why?”

“He just seems so...slick.”

“Chidi, hush. I’m happy for you honey, but what’s the problem? You’ve been moping around here this whole time.” Bisa held Ashanti’s cheek in one hand and moved the braids out of her face with the other.

“I’m scared, Mama. He’s sweet and intelligent and the finest man Bast ever created...I just don’t know. He’s royalty for Bast’s sake! What could we possibly have in common?”

“You never know until you talk to him, honey.”

“Your mama’s right. Get out of your head, kiddo, it’ll be fine. But if he tries anything, I’m not above treason.”

Ashanti laughed at her father, knowing he was only half joking.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Baba…” Ashanti started before sighing and standing up. “Alright, I should start getting ready if I’m going to do this thing. Wish me luck!”

She kissed both of her parents on the forehead and grabbed her things to head home, but not before swiping a snack from the kitchen. On her way back to her house her nerves started to grow again, but once she arrived Binta and Kwame helped talk her out of it.

“Sis, breathe. First and foremost, you need to be alive for the date. Second there’s nothing to worry about! He already likes you after just meeting you twice, you got this!”

“It’s not just that…”

“What is it?” Binta asked with real concern written all over her face.

“I...srt of had a wet dream about him last night…”

Both twins were in shock.

“About the King?!”

“Ooooh you’re in for it Miss Thang.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did it feel real?”

“Yes, but-”

“Then someone’s gonna get their back blown out by our kumkani!”

Ashanti looked away and she felt her cheeks and ears heat up while Binta and Kwame screamed in celebration of their best friend’s new dick supplier.

“He’s going to knock the dust off that thing, thank Bast. Girl you must tell us about that strength of the Black Panther mess, because I just know that man is packing a weapon.”

“I wonder if you can fuck him with the suit on,” Bisa thought out loud.

“He had a big dick in my dream...and that suit idea isn't half bad, I’ll hold onto that for later.” Ashanti winked at her roommates.

Kwame looked at the time.

“Ok enough chit-chat, go get ready. Prince Charming will be here soon.”

“You mean King Charming?”

“No, it’s from some European story. They actually do have a few things that aren’t half bad.”

“ Ooookay. Well I’m gonna go shower the day off.”

“Need help picking your outfit?” Binta asked with a hopeful tone in her voice. She loved a good at-home fashion show.

”I have it narrowed down to two, so I could definitely use a second and third opinion. Now let me go shower!”

Ashanti stepped under the water and her music began to play. Her nerves washed down the drain and a feeling of euphoria came over her as violins blared through her speakers followed by the sweet sounds of an acoustic guitar. Her heart swelled, and her cheeks hurt from smiling so big.

Come, let me kiss you right there Wake you up like sunrise On the backs of your thighs I'm gonna pray you this prayer That I keep in my mind As a lovely reminder

Janelle Monae somehow perfectly captured the warm and fuzzy and nervous feelings that come with falling in love. “Don’t Judge Me” had quickly become one of her American favorites, but until recently she had forgotten that feeling. It had been four years since her last first date, and one year of being single. Her ex broke her heart into a million little pieces, and she was still struggling to put herself back together again. Ashanti had just gotten to the point where she felt she could ever love again when T’Challa breezed into her shop. His timing had been perfect, almost divine.

Even though you tell me you love me I'm afraid that you just love my disguise Taste my fears and light your candle to my raging fire Of broken desire

The lyrics spoke to her nervousness to open herself up to someone new, especially someone with so much power in his hands already. What could she do if he ended up being abusive like-

She cut herself off and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower and letting herself air dry while finishing her skincare routine. Ashanti covered herself in shea butter and spritzed on the new perfume Binta got her for her birthday last month. Then she started on her makeup, deciding to keep it light. She swiped on a tinted moisturizer, added some highlight to her cheeks, and filled in her brows before swiping some mango-flavored red-ish lip stain over her plump lips.

Ashanti switched out her round septum ring for a triangular one she just made last night out of boredom. The point of the ring landed above her cupid’s bow like a giant flashing sign that reads “Put lips here!”

She parted her braids on the left side and two-strand twisted the front section before pinning it back and pulling the rest of her hair in a bun at the back of her head. She took a deep breath and threw on outfit choice number one. Binta and Kwame were already situated in the living room with a bottle of wine ready for the show.

She wore tapered, high waisted kente pants with a black lace bustier top and a layered pearl necklace.

“Ok this is outfit number one.” Ashanti turned around so they could get the full view. She could see them both trying their best to hold their tongues. “Please hold all comments until the end.”

“But girl that-”

“Aht! Not. Yet.”

Ashanti did one last twirl before Naomi Campbell walking back to her room. Binta and Kwame looked at each other and said a whole mouthful with just their eyes.

When she walked into the living area she had slid into a leather skirt and a billowy white off the shoulder top. She had topped it off with a gold choker of her own design. Ashanti did a little twirl before allowing her roommates to give their feedback.

“One at a time. Kwame?”

“Ok so, first off, where is he taking you?”

“I have no idea, he just said be ready at 7.”

“Ok then I’d go with outfit one, but with this choker. The pearls hide your titties, and girl that bustier calls for them to be front and center”

“Seconded. And you should wear those cute beaded sandals you got the other day at the Bazaar. Normally I’d say heels, but since you don't know what the date is it’s better to be safe and wear flats. You know how you are, and that is inappropriate first date behavior. You keep your shoes where?”

“On my feet.” Ashanti grumbled. She loved wearing heels, but her feet didn’t. Almost every time she wore them she ended up carrying them in her hand while walking around barefoot for some relief. This annoyed Binta to no end.

“Thank you. Now go put on the full outfit!”

“Be right back”

Ashanti made her way back to her room and changed into the same pants and bustier from earlier. She slid on the beaded sandals Binta suggested and checked out her neon purple pedicure before standing up and smoothing her clothes down in the mirror. Just as she reached for her doorknob the doorbell rang.

“6:50, he’s early.”

She heard the door open downstairs and damn near tripped over her feet to run downstairs to keep her roommates embarrassing her. She didn’t make it in time.

“Good evening, I am supposed to be taking Ashanti out for the night. Is she in?” Kwame and Binta saluted the king and stammered over their words.

“S-she just uh-”

“She’s u-upstairs, kumkani wam.”

“‘Please, call me T’Challa. Hopefully we will be seeing more of each other.” he said, sending a wink their way before he saw Ashanti enter the room from the corner of his eye.

______________

T’Challa was startled awake by the sound of his alarm. Normally he wakes up on his own and the alarm is just an extra precaution, but occasionally it comes in handy. This was one of those times thanks to a tantalizing dream he didn’t want to leave.

He was sure the woman in his dream was Ashanti, despite the fact that he couldn’t make out her face clearly. She had the same sway in her wide hips, and he recognized the delicately rough hands that found their way up and down his body. He could taste her on his lips and his dick still stood at attention for her. T’Challa looked at the clock and determined he had enough time to take care of himself, but just as he got up to get the shea butter a knock at his door ruined the mood. The king growled in frustration.

“Ay nigga, you late!” N’Jadaka called through the door.

“I am aware, cousin. I will be there shortly.”

N’Jadaka made his way down to the dining area while T’Challa quickly got ready for his day that was already starting out on a frustrating note. He finally made it down to breakfast just as the food was being served.

The royal family ate and discussed the day ahead.

“Someone’s got a date with that cute shopgirl today…” Shuri teased her big brother and he cut his eyes at N’Jadaka.

“You told her?!”

“He told us both dear, you know Daka can’t hold water. So tell us about her. She is in Ada’s old storefront, yes?”

T’Challa sighed and removed his napkin from his lap, placing it on the table and leaning back in his chair.

“Yes mama, she bought Ada’s and the shop next to it.”

“What does she sell?”

He figured now was as good a time as any, so he called Ayo on his beads.

“Ayo, please bring the black bag from my office with “Taj’s” on the side”

“Ewe kumkani wam, right away.”

T’Challa looked back towards his family, each one with their eyes glued to him.

“She is an artist,” he started. “She has turned it into a multi-purpose artistic space, but the shop is still operational. It’s called Taj’s now after her grandfather-”

“Yeah ok, tell us about her, ubhuti.”

Ayo came in with the requested bag and handed it to her king.

“Thank you, you are dismissed Ayo,” he said before turning back to his family. T’Challa reached into the bag and pulled out two boxes before handing them to his mother and sister.

“Damn, nothing for me?” N’Jadaka feigned offense.

“Not this time, umzala. Mama, sister, I hope you like them. They were custom made by Ashanti.”

Ramonda and Shuri opened their gifts and were stunned speechless. Shuri immediately took off her current necklace and replaced it with her brother’s gift. Ramonda stared at it, still speechless.

“Thank you, brother, I love it! Ashanti is very good at what she does.”

“You are more than welcome. Mama, do you like it?”

“Like it? It's too beautiful for me to even touch. This is amazing, unyana wam, thank you.”

“Good job, T.” N’Jadaka raised his glass of mango juice to his cousin.

“Well, as you can see she is very talented. I went to visit Ada the other day, but wanted to see what became of her shop first. When I saw her, I-...she took my breath away. She has this warm energy that just pulls you in and wraps its arms around you...”

“You sound sprung, as the Americans say.”

“Mmmhm he sure is Auntie, nose wide open and everything.”

T’Challa wanted to roll his eyes, but they were right. It took everything in him to not start grinning like a fool.

The royals parted ways after breakfast and went to tend to their duties. T’Challa and N’Jadaka didn’t have time for a walk today since there was a council meeting immediately after breakfast. It turned out to be the most boring council meeting T’Challa had ever presided over. What’s worse than land disputes? DIscussing treaties and embargoes with other countries. Half the council wanted Wakanda to keep its resources, citing how the rest of Africa was stripped of its riches by Europeans. They felt there was nothing positive the outside world had to offer Wakanda. The other half of the council argued that Wakanda was too strong a nation to be controlled by western powers, and therefore should join in trade and keep the upper hand.

“My king?”

T’Challa had zoned out for the past five minutes until N’Jadaka elbowed his side, pulling him out of his daydream.

“Huh?”

“My king, we were asking where you stood on the matter.”

N’Jadaka looked at his cousin knowingly, trying to conceal a smirk.

“I will need more time to think on it. Let us revisit this matter in a week, is there anything else on today’s agenda?” He asked his cousin.

“Nope, we’re done.”

“Thank Bast,” T’Challa whispered under his breath. “Meeting adjourned. I will see you all next week.”

As the council members left the room one by one, N’Jadaka stared at his cousin with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“Only one of us can zone out at a time and I had some good daydreams planned for today, so what’s up with you?”

T’Challa sighed.

“I can’t get her off my mind…”

“Wide. Open.” N’Jadaka cackled as he left his cousin sitting in the throne room, still thinking about Ashanti.

T’Challa had a full agenda for the day and decided to get started. Why bother daydreaming when in just a few hours he would be in her presence.

First, he went to visit the river tribe. It was the dry season, but thankfully the river still flowed with enough water to last them until the rainy season kicked back into gear. Then, he visited his sister’s lab and the mining tribe.

“Brother! You must look at this!”

Shuri barely gave him a chance to get in the lab before she was dragging him left and right showing him her new creations. The visit lasted longer than T’Challa expected, but time always flew when he was with his usisi.

The king made his way back to his quarters to start preparing for the night. He had decided on a nighttime picnic by a private lake for their first date so they could talk and get to know each other better.

Hopping into the full bathtub that already awaited him in his quarters thanks to the palace staff, T’Challa relaxed into the water and felt most of his stress slip away. To get the rest of the stress out, he reached for the pre-roll that was placed beside the tub with a note from the royal grower.

“Snow Goddess OG -Amare”

“Snow goddess, huh? Probably Jabari…” T’Challa lit the blunt and relaxed even more into the water, letting the weed take him to another plane.

T’Challa’s body felt tingly and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. He fought a giggle as he rose from his bath and caught sight of his chubby half-erect dick hanging down his thigh in the mirror.

“She’s not even here and we don't have time. Sorry, man, I’ll get you later, I promise..or maybe she will? Either way, just be patient.”

“Shit, what was in that?” T’Challa laughed at himself for talking to his dick.

He had already gotten lined up earlier that day, and he admired the barber’s job well done while he moisturized his curls then the rest of his body. The king spritzed on a new cologne and made sure to spread some to his pulse points. He filed his nails then relocated to his closet to put together an outfit for the night.

Even though T’Challa was a relatively young king he always seemed beyond his years when he stepped into his Black Panther and kingly duties. However, outside of when he needs to be professional, T’Challa was like any other Wakandan in their late twenties. Instead of the traditional formal attire he wore when performing his duties, he dressed more modern and relaxed in informal settings. When T’Challa and Ashanti met he had been wearing a simple black shirt and jeans with his black combat boots and his Black Panther claw necklace on display. The second time they saw each other he had on an intricately embroidered black tunic over matching pants and black sandals. This time he wanted to look nice, but still relaxed. He needed to find a happy medium.

T’Challa stood naked in his closet for about 15 minutes before it finally came to him.

________________

‘How is this man so fine?’ Ashanti thought to herself as she took in the sight before her. There stood the king, in her entryway, looking like a whole damn meal. Her eyes travelled up and down his lean, muscular frame just as his eyes did the same to her. He wore a short sleeved black button up with kente trim which was unbuttoned just enough for her to see his claw necklace resting in an almost unnoticeable bit of chest hair. He had on some simple dark wash jeans and his favorite pair of boots donned his feet. The icing on the cake was the silver hoop earring in his right lobe. Ashanti just about passed out, and that was before she even registered that they matched.

T’Challa couldn’t keep his jaw up to save his life. He already knew how gorgeous she was, but she had somehow gotten even more beautiful in 24 hours.

“Oh my Bast, how adorable?!” Kwame broke her from her daze.

Ashanti quickly grabbed her bag and hugged her roommates before pulling T’Challa out of the house.

“Sorry for rushing you, but they were absolutely going to do something embarrassing if we stayed any longer.” Ashanti reached to push her hair behind her ear, forgetting she had already pulled it back. “You uh- you look pretty alright today.”

T’Challa laughed and she nearly melted at the sound.

“Wow, I was going for ‘just ok’, but I have to say I like that you said I’m pretty.”

Ashanti playfully rolled her eyes and he placed his hand at the small of her back to lead her to his car.

“So where are you taking me?”

“It is a surprise.”

“Ok well, one thing you'll learn about me is I hate surprises.”

“You’ll survive without knowing for 15 more minutes, I promise Miss Ashanti.”

Something about the way he said her name made her go quiet. She wanted to hear it more often.

“I guess...so tell me about your day to distract me.”

T’Challa leaned back into his seat and let autopilot do the work.

“It was a normal day for the most part. Breakfast with my family followed by a tragically boring meeting with the council. Then I had to go visit the river and mining tribes. Lastly, I stopped by my sister’s lab for a while to see what she’s up to since she’s always tinkering around with something or creating amazing new inventions. I had to check in and see what’s new.”

“That sounds fun! The last part, not the other stuff.”

The king chuckled and reached for her hand.

“It was, but truthfully I was very distracted all day thinking of you.”

Ashanti’s voice caught in her throat.

Is he serious?

“Were you now…?”

“Yes, you seem to have made quite the impression on my subconscious.”

Ashanti tried to play it cool, but her guilty-looking face gave her away.

“What is it?”

“I may or may not have been thinking of you all day too.”

The two of them looked at each other and smiled. T’Challa’s eyes had just trailed down to her lips when the car announced their arrival. The king got out first and came around to open Ashanti’s door. He held out his hand and led her down a wooded path that was lit with tiny lights among the trees. The walk was short, and when they arrived at their destination Ashanti couldn’t believe her eyes.

Twinkling lights reflected off of a lake she had never seen. She turned to take in her surroundings and noticed the large border tribe blanket laid out on the ground and a covered basket overflowing with food. Ashanti was happy she wore flats.

“So I wasn’t sure what type of food you like, but I figured that since you were listening to music from outside Wakanda, you might enjoy foods from outside as well. I narrowed it down to one area though my first idea was to have food from all over, but thankfully my cousin talked me out of that one...”

T’Challa kept rambling as he began removing dishes from the basket and every last one made Ashanti’s stomach growl. She was starting to regret the bustier.

He pulled out jerk chicken, plantain, callaloo, and rice and peas. Next he pulled out some ackee and saltfish.

“This is usually for breakfast, but it’s my favorite meal of the day so I eat it whenever”

“Anyone who thinks breakfast isn't the best meal of the day deserves to be thrown off a cliff-”

She looked at the king.

“Too soon?” She asked sheepishly, hoping she didn't offend him.

“No, do not worry, it is fine. We have a better relationship now,” T’Challa chuckled. “And for the final touch, we have rum cake. I cheated and made it with Wakandan rum, but who is going to check me?”

Ashanti busted out laughing.

“Yes you hang around your American cousin a lot it seems, but more importantly you said you ‘made it’? Like you baked that cake? You, the king?”

“Yes. I love to cook, I just don’t have much time for it. I made all of this here for us to enjoy tonight.”

Ashanti had never had a man cook for her before, and certainly not on a first date. She hoped it was good because her poker face was shit and she didn’t want to have to hurt the king’s feelings. “Shall we?” T’Challa gestured towards the food and they both dug in.

Dinner was torture for T’Challa. Not only was she loving his food, but the noises she made while she enjoyed it made his dick harden. They made conversation and got to know each other better, scooting closer and closer to each other every time they had to shift to reach another item of food. They spoke about everything, finally landing on music. They tapped their kimoyo beads together, creating a playlist of both of their favorite songs for them to listen to as they continued to eat and talk.

“Oh my Bast, T’Challa this is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this? I assumed you had staff to do it for you.”

“We do, but when I was young I loved being with them in the kitchen so much they taught me how to cook.”

“This really is amazing, and I’m not just saying this because you're the king. I’ve never had someone cook for me like this, thank you.”

“Anything for you, Ashanti.”

He looked into her eyes and she blushed.

“So where exactly are we?”

“At a private lake near the palace. I come here often to relax and unwind, you should see it during the day.”

“You’ll have to bring me back, then.”

“That I will.”

“So, since this is a private lake it’s just us?”

“Well there are Dora Milaje out near the car, but yes it is just us.”

“And no crocodiles or hippos or anything like that…?”

T’Challa laughed.

“Do you really think I’d have you by predator-infested waters? You are safe here. Plus I am the Black Panther, you are safe wherever we go.”

“I like that…” Ashanti got lost in his lips, but got nervous and went back to her original thought. She knew how to shake herself out of her nerves. “So, since we’re alone and you're the only predator out here, let's go for a swim!”

“I will send the Dora for a change of clothes-”

“No need.”

T’Challa looked up and saw Ashanti in all her naked glory. She looked like Bast herself with her soft tummy and long thick legs. Her breasts bounced as she moved and her ass sat at the perfect height for him to grab onto. He tried to quiet the growl in his chest, but failed miserably.

“See something you like?”

T’Challa stripped faster than he ever had before and now it was her time to stand in awe. His rippling muscles almost made her heart stop, but it was the monster between his legs that turned her into a puddle.

“See something you like?”

Ashanti bit her lip and stared at him before turning around.

“Maybe if you can catch me,” she shouted before running into the lake.

Ashanti was a much better swimmer than T’Challa had assumed and he actually had to put in effort to catch up with her, but once he snagged her he immediately planted a kiss on her lips. He felt her body go slack as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, deeply.

Janelle Monae’s voice carried across the lake and into their ears as T’Challa kept them afloat while his tongue explored her mouth. Ashanti gripped his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. They pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes before laughing.

“Let's go somewhere I don't have to work so hard to keep us from drowning, eh?”

“Where do you have in mind?” Ashanti asked him while peppering his jawline with kisses.

But don't judge me I know I got issues But they drown when I kiss you Don't judge me Baptize me with ocean Recognize my devotion The water's perfectly good Let's reintroduce ourselves From a free point of view If I'm gon' sin, it's with you Tattoo your love on my heart Let the rumors be true. Even though you tell me you love me I'm afraid that you just love my disguise Taste my fears and light your candle to my raging fire The dirty desire But don't judge me I know I got issues But they drown when I kiss you Don't, don't judge me Baptize me with ocean Recognize my devotion What if I, what if, what if I touched you right there? Even though you say that you love me Is it me or do you love my disguise? If I missed you, would you think I was lonely If I say what's on my mind? Even though you say that you love me Is it me or do you love my disguise? If I kissed you, would you think I was lonely If I let you inside? Come, let me kiss you right there What if I kissed you right there? Would you tremble inside, or just call it a night? What if I gave you a show? You could touch if you like Right there If I kissed you would you think I was lonely? If I... It feels so good

Come, let me kiss you right there

Just say that you love me (just tell me you love me)

Next up:

Chapter 3

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #t'challa #t'challa fic #t'challa x oc #black!oc #playlist

66 notes · View notes

e-milieeee · 4 years

Text

haunted

Summary: When Gabriel goes a step too far, Plagg has decided he’s had enough.

Meanwhile, Gabriel Agreste has discovered that his house may or may not be haunted, because a vengeful spirit certainly seems to be after him.

Notes: basically plagg being a little gremlin and trolling gabriel like he deserves. ft. gabe’s 3 remaining braincells. based on this post by @hamsternamedmarinette and @snail-noir im sorry its so crappy lol

haunted

“Well,” Adrien is saying as he trudges inside the room and kicks the door shut. “There’s that, then.”

Plagg flits out from his shirt. His face is set in an angry mask, tail sticking straight up. “That’s that?” he echoes. “No, that’s absurd! Your father’s absurd! He should come back here and I’ll give him a piece of my mind and—”

Adrien squeezes his eyes shut. “Plagg, it’s fine. Forget it.”

Plagg makes an angry noise in the back of his throat. “So you’re just gonna take that? For weeks? He has no right.”

In his hand is the piece of paper—now crumpled—that his father had shoved into his fingers before he stormed off: the schedule for the fashion show. It runs for a week, but there’s also a terrifying amount of preparations to be done two weeks prior—all of which his father had decided he needed to be present for.

“I can’t risk making father angry,” Adrien settles with.

Plagg folds his arms. “Fine,” his kwami says curtly, in a manner of speaking that Adrien always finds hard to argue with. “Hypothetically speaking, then, if your father found out his plans had been cata—destroyed, would you be allowed to go out?”

“Plagg, I’m not going to break into my father’s study as Chat Noir to cataclysm his work just so I can go out with friends.”

Plagg smiles at him. It’s the smile Adrien had often gotten before he’d discovered the toilet paper in his washroom all scratched up and littering the floor. “Don’t worry,” comes the reply. “You won’t have to.”

***

Gabriel Agreste’s study is locked, but that doesn’t prove a problem for the small black shape that slips through the doors like they’re made of nothing more than mist. It’s dark, but cats have always seen better at night anyway.

There, on the top of his desk, lies the designs for the first set of clothes that are to be showcased. Meticulous notes. Fabric samples. Timing and schedules. Signatures and contracts.

The small, black cat picks the folder up with two paws. Then it crumbles into dust.

***

“Nathalie, did you touch the folder on my desk?”

It’s been a long morning—Gabriel had been up at 4 AM in an attempt to see if he could get an edge on Ladybug and Chat Noir. It had been horrendous to find someone to akumatize so early, and by the time he’d pinpointed his victim—forty five minutes later—he had nearly fallen asleep. He’d been pummelled by Ladybug and Chat Noir. Absolutely pummelled. And then, as if the situation couldn't help but get worse, Audrey Bourgeois had called him at six (just when he was about to go back to bed) and told him she couldn’t make it to the fashion show.

That woman had no regard for timezones. And no regard for him, either, because part of the marketing for the fashion week was Audrey’s attendance.

Gabriel was considering akumatizing himself when he realized the manila folder on his desk—that had been there when he left the night prior—was nowhere to be seen.

He searches through all his files. Crawls under his desk. Checks his lair. It's gone.

“Nathalie!” he bellows again, and she comes barrelling through the door to his office.

“What is it, sir?”

Gabriel takes a deep breath. “Have you seen the files for the fashion show? It was in the folder on my desk when I left.”

“Sir, I haven’t been in your office since last night, and I’m certain I saw your files there. Are you sure you haven’t misplaced it?”

Misplaced it, yeah. That’s what it was. Probably.

Now, what he needed was a nap.

***

The files do not turn up. Gabriel sends Nathalie to print them out again. The most important stuff is stored on his computer, but there are signatures he’d spent weeks getting.

He locks the files in his drawer the next time he gets it.

***

Tuesday morning finds Gabriel Agreste feeling much more refreshed. He even joins Adrien for three minutes during breakfast.

He walks into his office to find his favourite coffee mug in smithereens on the ground.

The files are still stored safely in his drawer. But there is a big, ugly tear across the dress he’d been working on for the past three months.

Gabriel screams.

***

Gabriel Agreste isn’t a fan of security cameras in his office. Especially because anyone with some hacking ability could possibly get their hands on the tape, and the last thing he needs is someone seeing him descending into his lair, or opening the safe behind his painting. Really—there’s simply too many sketchy things he’s done in the office for him to trust putting a camera there.

But he installs two of them nonetheless. His coffee mug could be an accident. But that rip on the dress? No, the only explanation is that it was intentional. But how?

Gabriel thinks of possibilities until he gives himself a headache.

***

“Father seems stressed lately,” Adrien notes to Plagg. There’s not much time for himself between busy schedules, but the moments in between he catches to talk to his kwami. The past week, stuck alone in his room with barely any interaction with his friends, has been draining. He cherishes the precious minutes he gets to spend with Plagg.

“Does he?” Plagg asks in a tone of practiced disinterest. “Well, he does have that really important fashion week thing coming up.”

“He asked me if I’d broken into his study a day ago, but he always locks his study. I think some of his files were missing.”

“Oh?” Plagg replies. “That’s terrible misfortune.”

“Father says he thinks a thief snuck in in the middle of the night and stole them, but we have security cameras all around the house and nothing happened.”

“Spooky.”

“Plagg…”

Plagg only shrugs. “Perhaps your house is haunted,” he replies disinterestedly. “Good thing you’re not scared of ghosts, Adrien.”

***

The house is haunted, and Gabriel cannot sleep.

The most terrifying part of watching the footage is that he sees nothing. There is no movement. No nothing. But then, the next morning, his files inside the locked drawer have disappeared.

Nathalie asks him about the dark rings around his eyes. He drinks two more cups of coffees in response.

***

Gabriel’s eyes are burning, but he’s determined to stay awake.

He likes to think himself neat and meticulous, but even he has his breaking point—his desk is littered with coffee cups, and he’s resorted to drinking energy drinks to keep himself awake. There’s less than ten days until the fashion show starts. It’s been so heavy on his schedule that he’s barely found time to akumatize three three people the past week.

Ladybug and Chat Noir must be having a field day while he’s sitting miserably in his office, waiting to catch the thief, too exhausted to summon up more akumas.

The clock ticks past midnight. Gabriel nearly faceplants into a coffee mug.

Another cup of redbull.

By the time it’s two in the morning, nothing shocking in particular has happened. Every time the flashing light of a car drives past the front of the house he starts, sits back down, and struggles to keep his eyes open.

It’s 2:04 when a crash sounds outside of his office.

Like a madman, Gabriel scrambles up from his seat. He knocks over a half-finished mug of coffee in the process, but that doesn’t matter. The door of his office slams open. He trips on a rug. But he gets up and runs like he’s never run before.

With all the force he can muster, he slams his palm down on the light, and the once-dark staircase and hall become bathed in golden light. The chandelier flickers twice and he stares down at the hall with half the mind to wonder if he’s going to finally see the ghost.

Gabriel is the only one in the hall.

He checks once more. Then again. Then again. But there is no one there, no source of the crash—

Oh, no.

The painting he’d bid at an auction twelve years ago—one that had cost a fortune—has fallen off the wall and face planted into the floor. The sight of it physically hurts Gabriel, and he’s scrambling towards it in a mixture of fear and anger when another noise sounds in his office.

In the months of being Hawkmoth, Gabriel Agreste has felt a generous range of emotions. But never has he felt such bone-chilling fear.

He heads back up the steps with robotic movements numbly. Down the corridor. Into his office.

There is no one there, and the mess that has been made is moreso his fault than of the invisible thief—or ghost—but then Gabriel sees one of his locked drawers open and the contents inside dumped unceremoniously on the ground.

The next day, when Nathalie finds him out cold on the ground, he attributes it to the exhaustion and the amount of coffee and energy drinks he’d consumed. But deep down, Gabriel knows that it’s the terror that’s finally caught up.

Either way, he faints.

***

Gabriel is confined to bed by a very concerned Nathalie. She usually heeds to his instructions, but the rare insistence from her and his own fatigue lands him out of commission for the day. It doesn’t stop him, however, from giving her a set of instructions.

“First, my office,” Gabriel croaks. His throat hurts—he must’ve caught a cold as well. “Please clean everything up and reinstall the locks. And then… and then…”

He thinks of the missing files—three times—and grits his teeth. “Cancel the fashion week.”

Nathalie’s jaw drops open. “Sir—”

“I know,” Gabriel mutters. “I just… I’m left with no choice. I’ll reschedule. Make up some excuse.”

She dips her head. “Noted, sir. Is that all?”

Gabriel gives her a miserable nod. She’s halfway out the door when he remembers.

“Nathalie!” he yells. “Get me a shaman, too.”

***

“The fashion week is cancelled.” Adrien looks up from practicing piano. “Father is sick, I think, which might be why. Nathalie looked super stressed when I saw her before my lessons.”

“Cancelled?” Plagg echoes dispassionately. “Huh. That’s too bad, I guess.”

“No, that’s good! I mean, it’s not good that my father is sick and Nathalie is stressed, but… at least I won’t be hounded about preparations. I even got permission to go out today.”

“Huh,” Plagg replies. He settles himself into his wheel of cheese. “I guess you’re lucky after all, then.”

Notes: yeah idk what i wrote but master fu is the shaman they hire and he finds out gabriel is hawkmoth and arrests him and the end if u wanna know what happens next

Here’s my fics masterlist!

#miraculous ladybug #gabriel agreste #plagg #adrien agreste #ml #nathalie #hawkmoth #plagg is mvp n i dont take criticism!#mlb fic #my writing #tag this gabenath and i hunt u down

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magnusbanewastaken · 4 years

Text

WHAT TO BUY THE SHADOWHUNTER WHO HAS EVERYTHING (And Who You're FINALLY Officially Dating... And More)

SUMMARY: In compliance with our roleplaying group's winter holidays special activity, following the prompt: “Someone has just become fabulously wealthy and is picking out gifts for their family.”

RATING: G

CHARACTER/S: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Max Lightwood-Bane

TAG/S: rpgroup, writing challenge, romance, winter holidays, christmas

also @ ao3

Last minute Christmas gift-shopping was always a terrible idea. Either things would be out of stock by that point or nothing much of worth would be left on the shelves. Not to mention the surprising long lines that still exist that late into the holidays. Not to mention having to deal with ill-tempered customers in line with you and the frustrated staff who had to be stuck at work instead of spending the last few days before Christmas preparing for their own celebrations at home. But that's not always the case, not if you were like Magnus who knew exactly where to go.

Everywhere you looked in the Liberty Mall were a festoon of lights, ribbons, tinsels, shiny ornaments, and faux evergreens decked along escalators, archways, and guardrails. A massive Christmas tree that reaches up to almost the third floor of the mall, stood tall at the center of the atrium. This was the place to be in Manhattan for Magnus's quick, at-the-very-last minute shopping spree. All the shops were still open despite it being Christmas Eve already but there weren't a lot of people there compared to other stores and strips around Manhattan around this time in the afternoon. The reason for that most likely had something to do with the stores there being lavishly-priced luxury stores. And that was most unfortunate for him since he liked the attention and stares he'd get for the captivating outfits he usually wore.

Today he had on black leather pants, a studded black belt that looped around his waist twice, and a blood red wool overcoat open over a white wool deep V-neck sweater. A pair of gold thin rimmed sunglasses sat neatly over his coiffed hair and his face was subtly slathered with silver bits of glitter just over his eyelids and out towards the outer corners of his eyes. At least there were still some store managers to dazzle, he thought, perhaps he'd even get discounts as it sometimes often happens to him. Not that he needed any discounts. He had a perfectly wonderful yet complicated relationship with money that never really failed him even at times when he'd end up with nothing but the shirt on his back. He could get himself anything he wanted and anything anyone else wanted. Which is how he ended up going for a last minute shopping spree in the first place.

He didn't have to be there. Personally Magnus wouldn't really bother with shopping "traditionally" for anything. He could just conjure up anything from somewhere and compensate for them later, that is if he remembers to do so, and it was more reliable than online shopping. But now that he was practically sharing his life with Alec, some changes with his lifestyle had to be made. His roguish shopping habits weren't something Alec particularly liked leaving the warlock no choice but to oblige.

He sauntered through the marbled floors of Liberty Mall, going in store after store to pick out presents for tonight's party. It was a gathering at the Institute, mostly a Shadowhunter event despite other Downworlders like him being invited and despite Christmas not exactly traditionally celebrated among the Nephilim. It was an excuse to have a party for the holidays and a way to have their growing families gather together for a night. He wasn't in charge of organising this party, a mistake and a tragedy for them if you'd ask Magnus. He would've done it for free if they asked but the other people who aren't his friends and family that will be there were still predisposed into thinking Magnus would have turned it into a Downworlder rave. At least it was Isabelle helming the celebration, he could count on her to pull off something he would still enjoy despite the restraints of the ever-so-uptight Nephilim traditions.

It was easy enough to think of gifts for the women in his life since fashion was always the answer. He went to every big-named fashion houses at Liberty and was immediately entertained by store attendants, likely believing he might be someone important or famous with the way Magnus always carried himself. And if not that, it was the wads of cash he'd fan and flaunt to their faces, Magnus always wanted to do that. Isabelle was easy to give gifts to since she was always more than willing to try out anything Magnus recommends and her taste and style was to his liking. He simply got her anything he thought would look good on him if he was a woman. Maryse, much like her daughter was somewhat easier to give gifts to. Some jewelry here, designer coats and handbags here and there. They didn't always see eye to eye but ever since his little blueberry, Max, came around, Maryse had softened, even Robert too. She'd often invite him over just to chat, although he was certain she just wanted to spoil little Max. But it did give him the opportunity to get close to her and know her well which also pleased Alec.

Lily was another person he found to be easy to gift to, she'd accept almost anything fancy he gave her, even the not-so-fancy ones he'd sometimes trick her into believing were fancy. Clary on the other hand was slightly more difficult as to this day she still had little to no fashion sense and would deny him the opportunity to enlighten her about the latest fashion trends. Even Maia was easier to bend, provided it came along with a couple of board games and video games. But that won't stop him from trying. He didn't want to force Clary into things that would be uncomfortable for her even if they are trendy. He didn't want to change her, he only wanted to open her eyes to different possibilities than just sticking with something safe and casual. Good thing Jocelyn wasn't as difficult as her daughter. He got her some clothes and jewelry but of course he had to give her the finest brushes and paints as well as coffee table books on art. He was certain Clary would be jealous of them but she'll have to up her fashion game first before he gives her anything she actually wanted.

Men were difficult to give gifts to, he thought. If they weren't anything like him who had a taste for all the pretty and stylish things in the world, he wouldn't be enjoying even thinking about what to give them. Raphael and Ragnor were the exceptions since their gifts were almost exclusively joke gifts and expensive ones at that. But, well, it wasn't possible to do that anymore. He completely rushed through gifts for Jace, Simon, Luke, and Robert and got them simple, not-as-thoughtful as the rest gifts. A set of throwing knives from Japan and a set of Scandinavian hunting knives were for Jace. Simon gets to inherit some of the rare comic books in his possession that were still in mint condition. He threw in a couple of the latest computer games in there just to say he actually bought him something. Luke also gets a set of first editions of books he had owned for centuries; he figured he wouldn't mind that they were used books. But he also got him some new clothes and shoes. Magnus appreciated his alternative, scruffy vibe but he can't wear plaid and worn out boots every single day of the week, that's just preposterous, especially when he has to stand next to a lovely woman such as Jocelyn. And for Robert he got him a pair of watches and a set of fashionable ties, dads liked those kinds of things, right?

He also threw in mugs with designs that he thought would fit for everyone like "Nothing Less Than Seven Inches" for Isabelle. "World's Best Grandma and Grandpa" for Maryse and Robert respectively, "Life Is Short And So Am I" for Clary, "I'm A Vampire Let Me Suck You Off" for Lily, things like that. Nobody likes getting mugs, especially not for Christmas, but he had already prepared expensive gifts for them, surely they wouldn't mind the mugs.

He was empty-handed again after sending away the novelty mugs he got for everyone. His loft must look like Santa's Workshop by now with the amount of gifts he sent back there, he was hoping to get back and do some wrapping before Alec and Max comes home. He looked out the glass panes of the side of the mall to see that the sky was still a bluish gray of daylight, and the horizon was just turning into a faint shade of purple. It's only been a couple of hours but going through all those stores felt like a lengthy ordeal. Next year he wouldn't be so generous, he thought, he'll only do it again in ten years or twenty.

Now all that's left was his own little family. Alec and Max. Max and Alec. My family. He kept repeating the thought in his mind. Even if it's been years since he and Alec were together and well over a year since Max came into their lives, it was still a bit odd for him to think that this was all real if he was being honest, but it was all real. Being with Alec was real. Having Max with them was real. He doesn't really show it but even Magnus was still trying to get used to the idea.

Max was not difficult to think of a gift for, what was difficult was restraining himself from spoiling him; Max was such a cute baby it was really difficult not to do so. If Magnus had it his way he would've spoiled him to death, even Maryse was quite eager to do just that, but Alec wasn't going to have any of that, and he was right on this one. Still, it was Christmas, so he got Max some stuffed toys and a rideable toy car that looked very much like the black Maserati he and Alec rode through France last summer. He hoped for the best that Alec would let this slide becuase Max would look really cute in it, provided he didn't float away with it.

Alec was the last person he would be getting a gift for. Magnus could have made an excuse for himself that this was because he saved the best for last but really Alec was the first person he tried to think of a gift for, the moment he woke up this morning to be exact, and since then he hasn't settled on what to actually give him. Magnus wondered how you could love someone so passionately and even know that someone all too well for quite some time, yet you still find yourself having difficulties with thinking of what to gift said someone.

Magnus took respite in a garden cafe on the first floor of the Liberty Mall. He had one of their special winter lattes that were sweet and minty cool to taste while still thinking of a gift for Alec. He knew he couldn't ask anyone else for their opinions, he learned that lesson the last time he tried to think of a gift for Alec on his eighteenth birthday. He could always ring up Isabelle but he figured she would still be busy with organising things for tonight. Scrolling through articles online on his phone didn't help much either since they found them all too tacky and incredibly heteronormative for his liking. He sighed and put down his phone and took a sip from his latte.

His eyes lingered on the stuffed toys sitting inside the toy car he recently bought for Max just sitting next to his chair. He hadn't sent it away to his loft yet since seeing it gave him some sort of comfort. Looking at the car closely made him remember of his time in France with Alec again. That was the time where they finally managed to redo their European trip without having anything to do with demons and cultists. He has been in and out of France far too many times since the Belle Époque but that summer felt like a brand new experience with Alec. Magnus showed him all the places he had fallen in love with in the quaint countrysides of France and Alec showed him how to fall in love with them all over again. He told Alec about how he felt about that and Alec told him how much he looked forward to seeing the world with him. That was a promise that made Magnus believe that what they had was something for the long run, that he would be loving Alec for a long time. And that's when it hit him. He finally figured out what to give Alec.

Magnus's loft never looked so bright and festive unless it was because of his parties. It has been a long time since he last threw one and it was before Max came along. Tonight, his living room was ornamented by the dreamy and warm hues of gold, beige, cream, and white. The usual colours of reds, greens, yellows, and blues were much too gaudy for Magnus's vision of Christmas that year. The only greens in sight were the garlands lined all over the place and the tree sitting at the center of the room, swathed with gold and silver tinsels and ornaments as well as strings of fairy lights. Sitting by the floor and standing about as high as half of the tree were the presents he had bought earlier in the day. Magnus had already changed into the suit he would be wearing tonight. Alec had warned him that he might get looks from people since he would be wearing white when it's not a funeral. Not that Alec really minded but thought he should let him know anyway. Magnus thought that would be ridiculous, he'd be wearing chanterelle beige not white and he would very much like to get looks from people. And that was that, no one could tell Magnus how to dress anyway.

He was surrounded by lights and sparks of blue as he did his magic, as he was still in the middle of boxing and wrapping the last batch of presents when he heard the door swing open. Without pause, he looked over the side of the tree and looking past the mountain of presents to find Alec with an astonished expression on his face. He was also already in his outfit for tonight which was something he asked Magnus to pick for him. He wore dark brown dress pants and brown overcoat over a cozy beige turtleneck sweater that let him look somewhat formal without sacrificing comfort. He would have just worn something semi-formal but knowing Magnus, he wouldn't have let him look too simple next to him. Alec was carrying a little blueberry of a baby in his right arm, wearing a little black and white onesie suit. The little blue warlock was looking far more cheery than Alec at the sight of the presents. Or perhaps he just had a nice mix of milk in his bottle that day, Magnus couldn't quite tell with Max sometimes.

"Did you just rob the North Pole?" asked Alec.

"Of course not! And even if I did, I'd say it's fair game, that jolly old bastard owes me," Magnus just finished tying the final bow on the last gift in the pile when he walked over to where Alex and Max was.

"...Santa Claus is real?"

"Absolutely, and he's a warlock too. I thought that was common knowledge," said Magnus then planted a kiss on Max's temple.

Alec was not always sure whether Magnus was making things up especially when it comes to warlock things and his warlock friends but that wasn't what's important right now.

"You paid for all this, right?"

"I did and here are the receipts to prove it," with a quick snap of a finger there appeared a clipboard of receipts popping up from a blue swirl of light, floating right in front of Alec's line of sight.

Magnus spoke almost too proudly about legally acquiring his gifts. Alec had been persistent in guilting him with the things he'd conjure from somewhere without paying after all. Magnus picked up Max from Alec's grasp before Alec started flipping through the receipts. Then suddenly a gasp was heard.

"By the Angel, Magnus! Twenty thousand dollars just for clothes?" Alec asked, having a more audible and greater shock than the one he had when he came in earlier causing Max to look up at Magnus as if he could understand and was looking at him for answers.

"They were Dior," Magnus simply explained.

"Seventeen thousand dollars for a watch?" Alec continued flipping.

"Two watches actually, believe me that's already cheap, I hope your father doesn't mind."

"How could you even afford all this?" He asked as he still continued flipping but should really be stopping at this point.

"The painting I sold off the other day remember? It was worth millions apparently,"

"Millions?" Alec looked at Magnus with an even greater expression of disbelief than when he started flipping through the receipts.

"This is why I don't want to talk money with you, you look like you're about to faint," Magnus spoke calmly as he held Alec's face in his free hand hoping it would calm Alec down as well.

"Remind me not to ask next time," Alec nodded then sighed. Magnus looked at him, a bit of worry evident on his face but Alec gave him a reassuring smile, "As long as you actually paid for things."

"Yes, dad, I don't do that thing anymore," Magnus quipped with a smile and dipped in for a kiss on Alec's cheek.

"How are we getting all this to the Institute?"

"Darling."

"Right, magic. Almost forgot. Well, we better go ahead, Izzy will kill me if we're late."

"Wait, I'm sure Izzy won't mind us being fashionably late. I want to give you your present right now," said Magnus then passed Max back to Alec's arms.

"You look serious," Alec noted as he let Max nestle comfortably in his right arm.

"Just nerves. I'm not sure why when I know you wouldn't say no."

"No?"

A whirl of blue light appeared in the palm of Magnus's hand. When the glowing light dissipated, underneath it was a small red velvet box. Magnus could see Alec was already too stunned to say anything. He stared at the box in the warlock's hand for a moment and then back at Magnus. His brilliant blue eyes seemed like they were glistening as their eyes met and Magnus felt his heart warm up at the sight of Alec's smile.

Magnus opened the box and cushioned inside were a pair of rings. One had a round ocean blue diamond set in an intricate basket of flame filigrees, setting on top of a half-braided white gold band. The other ring was a bit bigger in size with an emerald cut blue diamond framed with blue melee diamonds.

"You paid for this too, right?" Alec finally spoke, Magnus almost laughed.

"Darling."

"Sorry, nerves."

"It's my promise to you, my love," said Magnus. "I still stand by what I said the last time we spoke about it, that I won't have you marry me until you, until we, can marry in gold. You deserve nothing less and I can't have you settle for less just because you chose to be with me. I want these rings to be a promise and a reminder for us everyday when we might glance upon it that this is all real. Just as real as any other Shadowhunter unions. That the kind of love we have is not worth anything lesser just because it's a little bit different than what Nephilim traditions dictate.

"So, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, if I may ask,” Magnus got down on one knee and looked up at the two loves of his life, first to Max and then to Alec, "Will you promise to stand by me until we can marry in gold?"

"Absolutely. Yes. It's a promise," Alec was holding back tears as he said that. Max might have felt it too since he started blubbering things and patting his little hands on Alec's face as if to comfort him.

Magnus picked out the ring with the round cut blue diamond then reached out for Alec's left hand. He slipped the white gold band in his ring finger then looked up into Alec's beautiful blue eyes with his heart full of love. Alec took out the other ring from the box with his free hand as Magnus raised his left hand in front of him. The ring sat perfectly around Magnus's left ring finger and suddenly it was the most priceless ring he had, putting all the other rings he wore to shame. They both leaned in for a kiss, it was sweet and tender and Magnus felt the warmth of Alec's love between his lips. But Max had other plans when he decided to break it off and hit Magnus on the side of his head.

"Alright you little smurf, we're going, we're going," he smiled as he ruffled the head of the little blue warlock.

"Oh, right, Alec," Magnus raised his hand and behind the blue glow of smoke surrounding his hand, he conjured up what looked to be like car keys. He handed it to Alec and he immediately recognized the logo etched on its body.

"Did you rent this just for tonight? Can't we just Portal through?"

"You know I don't trust Portal-ing with the baby," Magnus replied. "And no, it's not rented, it's yours."

"No way. Magnus, I can't—" but Magnus cut him off with a kiss.

"Darling, no more arguments before a party," said Magnus as he pulled away from Alec. He then took Max from him and carried him in his arms. "I don't want us to look stressed when we waltz in there. We have the image of a perfectly perfect family to rub in people's faces."

Alec was still a bit dumbfounded about everything that just happened. All those surprises in one night seemed to be too much for the Shadowhunter. But Magnus liked it whenever he leaves Alec dumbfounded.

"Now come along, Alexander, I don't want us to be later than fashionably late," Magnus was already out the door and was being playful with Max who was giggling his little heart out. "My little blueberry must steal the show, yes you will, you're going to be just like your papa when you've grown."

Alec eventually broke out from his daze. He followed them out and went on their way to the Institute.

The party had already started by the time they rolled in the Institute grounds in the sleek black Maserati GT Convertible Magnus had just given him. Though the streets were lined with snow, luckily it wasn't snowing that evening so they were able to ride the car with the top down. Alec might have wanted to argue with Magnus about it earlier but driving it now let him warm up to the idea of owning it. Max seemed to have enjoyed the ride as well as he sat on Magnus's lap in the back of the car. Everything seemed to be going smoothly on its own that Isabelle had the time to come out and meet with them. Simon was with her of course and Jace and Clary followed too when they heard that Magnus, Alex, and Max were on their way. But it was really just an excuse for them to be able to leave the party even for a moment. Parties really weren't the same without Magnus in it.

Clary immediately walked over to Magnus who was carrying Max in one arm. Max was still bouncy and lively as he wrapped his hands around Clary's finger and patting his other hand on her head. Jace was in awe of the car that his parabatai drove and recognized it was the same one Alec kept talking about when they got back from their European redo trip last summer. Jace nearly flipped when Alec told him it was his Christmas gift and even Simon who wasn't exactly a car guy was impressed by it. The car conversation was cut when Isabelle broke in to reprimand Alec and Magnus for arriving late but immediately had a change of heart when the two showed off their rings. Isabelle practically leapt in to hug her brother and so did Clary with Magnus. They all said their congratulations but no one could say they were surprised. With the way things are between Magnus and Alec it was just the natural progression of things but it was still something nice to see especially on Christmas Eve.

As Magnus had expected and have willed to happen, there were a lot of eyes on him as he walked inside the Institute with Alec holding his hand and Max nestled in his other arm. No one would dare state for too long but he noticed the side glances and whispers as they walked through. Whether they were bad or good whispers he didn't particularly care, it boosted his ego pretty well either way.

He and Alec approached Maryse and Robert first who were in the middle of a conversation with some of the Blackthorns. Maryse was quick to ask for Max when they got close which Magnus obliged to and passed his little blueberry into his grandma's arms. It was Alec who excused his parents for a moment and brought them aside to show them their engagement rings. Maryse looked like she was getting overwhelmed that Robert had to take Max from her while she hugged Alec tightly. Like the others, they weren't entirely surprised by it but the rings really did make all the difference.

When all was finally said and done, Magnus conjured up the mountain of presents that were sitting back in his living room. The presents were all lined up around the base of the Christmas tree for his friends and family to open up later when the other guests have left. He made sure to conjure up the gifts in the homes of the others who weren't able to make it there that night like Jocelyn and Luke who decided to stay in together. As well as Maia and Lily who had hosted a different kind of party for the werewolf pack and vampire clans.

At the Beth Israel Hospital, Catarina finally had time to take a break from cheering up the kids who were stuck there for Christmas. She sat on her own in the breakroom having a snack and some coffee using a mug that said "Why So Blue?". She was on her phone to check the messages she couldn't read earlier and most of them were typical holiday greetings. The one that stood out and brought a smile to her face was a photo greeting of Magnus and Alec showing their rings and Max floating on his own next to them with the caption, "Happy Holidays from the Lightwood-Banes".

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #max lightwood-bane #the mortal instruments #tmi fanfiction #tmi fanfic #river writes crap

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nomanwalksalone · 4 years

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STYLE AND THE DAMME

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

Late in his new series Jean-Claude Van Johnson, Jean-Claude Van Damme, in tailored suit and open-collared white shirt, gestures up from his Aston Martin to his secret hideout with the instantly classic setup line, “No one has looked for me here for 20 years.” It’s a Blockbuster Video. As always, Van Damme is “on the run from the law, military or mafia,” but just this once, perfectly on the nose with this quip. And with it, three wildly different cultural icons, Van Damme, the tailored suit and Aston Martin, come into a strange but telling momentary alignment from the vastly different places they were in those 20 years ago.

20 years ago Van Damme was just over the peak of his fame, a coked-up Belgian kickboxing force who was fresh off The Quest, a big-budget, less satisfying remake of Van Damme’s best film, Bloodsport. He was about to star in a film about exploding jeans with the SNL copier guy Rob Schneider. Even better than it sounds, Knock Off knocked Van Damme off his pedestal and into the direct-to-video purgatory in which he’s labored since then. And labor he has, dedicated to actually becoming an actor of range and depth despite none of his audience actually caring. Direct-to-video films generally get ignored. Popularly, we expect them mainly to be watched by fans of fading stars expecting the predictable. It’s poignant, then, that Van Damme turned in a convincing performance in a pastiche of Bad Lieutenant and showed he could telegraph real pathos in John Hyams’ unfathomably good DTV Universal Soldier sequels Universal Soldier: Regeneration and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.

Van Damme didn’t have to expend that effort. Witness the trajectory of his erstwhile rival Steven Seagal, a trajectory of almost cosmological increasing expansion behind yellow-tinted shooting glasses and spray-on-hair, accommodated in dozens of unwatchable movies by screenplays and direction that allow Seagal literally not to move. Seagal’s kept his many-chinned profile up in recent years courting tinpot authoritarians in the United States and Eastern Europe. Unlike Seagal, in recent years Van Damme has gained attention and respect by embracing his own ridiculousness. He played up this self-awareness with surprising comedic and dramatic talent in 2009’s JCVD, a scathing satire of his own dead-end career and broken life. He brings this willingness to both mock and explore himself to Jean-Claude Van Johnson, where he plays a retired actor who is actually a retired spy. Shoots for cheesy movies in Eastern Europe, such as a chop-socky reboot of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (“It’s time to get Hucked”), are just covers to investigate and infiltrate drug gangs, diabolical masterminds, and eventually the rotten entertainment industry itself.

The key to that last mission, taking down the corrupt talent and espionage agency that had used him, is looking the part, 2017 edition. Looking a part means meeting all the clichés, the easy expectations of a role. For that of Erstwhile Movie Star, today it means pulling up to the agency in an Aston Martin in a tailored suit, no tie. It certainly didn’t always. 20 years ago, Aston Martin had nowhere to go but up, or into oblivion. Since then, oblivion has claimed most of the other romantically exotic British car brands like TVR and Bristol. Aston used to mean just Bond films, Bond satires, and bad Bond copies. By the early 1990s, its annual sales had slumped to fewer than 200 cars worldwide and its main model, the Virage, cost $250,000. I’ve only seen one of those ever, late at night in my college town decades ago, looking like something from another world.

Today, thanks to prudent investment and positioning by Ford and Tata, Astons are a shorthand for the showbizzy glitterati of our world, occasionally favoring us with an appearance in our grocery store parking lot or, with motor gunning, running the red light we’d prudently braked for. Hugh Grant bought one after filming About A Boy because his tween co-star thought it would be cool; Isla Fisher drove one playing Ron Howard’s vapid daughter in Arrested Development. Van Damme’s Aston is the same sort of shorthand: predictable, expensive flamboyance to be expected from a has-been with money.

What does this mean for the suit? 20 years ago it was in the wilderness, a wilderness grown out of the backlash to 1980s corporatism, a wilderness so wild that for a few seasons designers were trying to put men in waistcoats, frock coats or Nehru jackets instead of sport coats or suits. Those didn’t take, but for the rest of us casualwear replaced the suit with identikit billowing blue shirts and baggy khakis in business settings, and with jeans, sweats or anything else, really, in other settings. 20 years ago the suit had just barely begun to creep back in certain circles in the United Kingdom as a so-called smart formal outfit for social outings, with a nice shirt but never a tie. It was too soon for that reminder of 1980s correctness. Since that time, Hedi Slimane goosed the “tailored look” with his tight suits, while fashion seized on the financial crises of 2001 and 2008 to push a return to supposedly more serious dressing. In the fashion idiom, the opposite of frivolity is expensive conservatism, ergo the suit. The tie, too, fought its way back up for a couple of years of air, but not in the world of cliché and shorthand, where smart actor of a certain age means nice suit, white shirt (anything else would be too busy) and no tie – no ties to the normal working world.

Today, Van Damme, Aston Martin and the smart suit are in alignment, all in fashion again… for the moment. Whether Aston Martin stays in fashion will depend on its owners and backers keeping technologically modern cars in production and promoting them. As to Van Damme and the suit? It’s just as ironically sad as Van Damme becoming a good actor that the suit, formerly the inescapable classic clothing item, returned only as a fashion item. This means that it can and will be replaced by something else in fashion, like yoga pants for men. Maybe Van Damme, too, is only having a moment as a whimsical nostalgia item like the suit.

But Jean-Claude Van Johnson has a real lesson for us beyond this sentimentality. Although it is about an actor who is actually an international spy, its reality is an actor playing his persona and pretending to find himself. His choices are to hide from the world behind cabinets of Pop Tarts and made-up memories, or to engage with the uncanny and unfair demands of an unfamiliar age. He chooses to engage, despite his heyday being long behind him and the things that he had fought for illusory. Remember that in fact there was no more genteel age of yore, only pasts of different levels of exploitation and oligarchy. The classy actors we now associate with elegance were actors playing parts, both on screen and in public life. No halcyon days await our return. However we adapt to changing times and changing understandings of what is right, ultimately we can best face down challenging times by being ourselves in the moment. Or as Van Damme-from-the-future reminds us, “TimeCops don’t exist.” We cannot change the timestream to fit our illusions. We can only do with what we have: our personality, not our persona, and from time to time, still, a nice suit as both armor and disguise.

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This article first appeared on the No Man blog in 2018.

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dolansontheblock · 4 years

Note

Written in the Sand by Old Dominion

masterlist

hiiii love, thank you so much for requesting this! i actually fell in love with the song, so i added it to my playlist! you didn’t specify which twin you wanted so i chose ethan! i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: slight mention of smut

Turn me on, turn me off, then you turn me back on by the weekend

And you won't say the words that I want but you flirt when you're drinkin'

I see those bubbles pop up like you're texting then they disappear

Let's cut through the shit then let's get to what we're doing here

You’re not sure how you let yourself get so involved with someone, let alone someone from LA. You always told yourself that you would never fall for one when you moved from New York to take a job on the gold coast.

It was a Saturday night and you were at a party downtown when your friend Ryan approached you, saying something about introducing you to his friends before he grabbed your hand and started to drag you towards the back of the room, almost spilling your drink in the process.

You saw them both standing against the wall, keeping to themselves mostly. Once Ryan introduced you, you kind of felt unwelcome and awkward standing there so you slowly floated your way across the room and found yourself by the bar again.

You felt the uncomfortableness radiating off of them even from where you stood. After finally getting the bartender's attention you ordered your drink and decided that you weren’t going to feel bad. They were big boys who made the choice to come here, you don’t owe them anything. Grabbing your beverage from the bar, you decided to do what you do best, socialize. People love to call you a social butterfly, but you liked to think of yourself as being personable, friendly even. That’s exactly why as you were making your rounds, you found your eyes moving towards the back wall. And every time, you saw Ethan staring at you, looking away quickly when you caught him. This went on a few more times until you looked over and saw him standing alone now, Grayson and Ryan being nowhere in sight. You decided enough was enough, so you walked to the bar for the upteenth time that night, ordered yourself a screwdriver and Ethan a water, and weaved your way through the crowded dance floor to get to him.

When he saw you approaching, he bowed his head and looked down towards his feet and stuffed his hands in his pockets. You extended the water to him with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to take it from you.

“Oh, thanks but I don’t drink.” You sighed before answering.

“Good thing it’s water then, huh?” Raising your eyebrows again, he took the water from your hand with his tattooed palm, taking a small sip. The two of you just stood there and you quickly realized that you were going to have to be the one to initiate some form of conversation.

“I like your tattoo,” You say as you wrap your lips around your straw, taking a small sip. “I have a few myself, some meaningful, others stupidity at its finest. I’ve been meaning to get another one but I guess I just haven’t gotten around to it.” Ethan was just looking at you, admiring you as you rambled on. He was enthralled by the way your hands waved as you spoke, the way your nose crinkled as you laughed. He was envious of your ability to strike up a conversation with anyone in any surrounding and make them feel like they’re talking to an old friend. You two spoke for the rest of the night, even after Grayson came back from wherever he was at. Eventually you two found yourselves out on the balcony after Grayson decided to leave the two of you be and chill with Ryan and the others. When the night came to an end, the two of you exchanged numbers before heading your separate ways.

The days following were filled with each other. You were texting from sunrise to sunset, facetiming at night until one of you fell asleep on the other. Not long after, you began to come over almost every day. You would hang out with Ethan, Grayson or both of them, doing whatever came to you that day. Eventually you had a designated spot for your car in the driveway, your own hook to put your keys on, a spot to keep your shoes and the guest bed made up for you. You became so close to them, especially Ethan. It was clear that something special was happening between the two of you, everyone could see it.

One night, the guys decided to have a little get together, and of course you were there, but you had a few too many cocktails and had decided to crash there, like you did many times before. You followed Ethan to his room so he could give you a hoodie to wear to bed, because you always ‘forget’ to bring clothes. You took off your too and put the hoodie on, his sent enveloping you bringing a smile to your face. You shimmied out of your jeans and decided to crawl under his covers while you waited for him to get out of the bathroom, staring at the ceiling with the goofiest of grins on your face. When Ethan opened the door to find you laying in his bed wearing his clothes, his heart melted.

“Whatcha doing there little one?” You looked at him with your big beady eyes, crossing your arms and pouting at him as he maneuvered around the room.

“I’m not little, Ethan. I’m a bad ass.” He smiled at your declaration, plugging in his phone before lifting up the covers to join you.

“Am I bigger than you?” You nodded at his question, snuggling into his side. “Then you are little, compared to me.” You furrowed your eyebrows, ready to fight him with your words when he continued.

“You’re my little bad ass, okay?” That seemed to satisfy you, a soft smile graced your features and you reached for his hand so you could play with his fingers. There was a moment of comfortable silence before you spoke.

“I like it when you call me pet names, it gives me butterflies,” You sigh, thinking of all the times you felt the familiar flutter around him. “Like the other day, when you called me babe by accident? It made me feel soft, I liked it.” You giggled lightly before continuing.

“I especially liked how you blushed afterwards. Your cheeks turn the same color as your lips, you have really pretty lips. Sometimes I find myself staring at them, I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself.” Ethan was in shock. You were never one to talk openly about your feelings like this. You were the type of person to talk about others feelings and help them before ever expressing your own. You built your walls high and strong, and right now they were cracking before Ethan’s eyes.

Are we just a backseat, tryna get it while we can?

Are we names in a tattoo, or just a number on a hand?

Are we last-call kissing or will we be reminiscing with each other for the next forty years?

Are we written in the stars, baby, or are we written in the sand?

Things started to progress after that night. You and Ethan were more touchy with each other, hands lingering on the small of your back in passing, on your thigh as he drove. On your weekly movie nights with the twins you found yourself curling up into Ethan’s side, legs thrown on top of his under a shared blanket. You were over their house almost every day, it didn’t matter if they were there or not. They trusted you with their house and belongings. You even helped them decorate the house and make design changes, permanently making their mark on the house, but unknowingly making a mark on their hearts, especially Ethan’s.

You started to get up early with Grayson to teach him a little about yoga and show him how to properly stretch without hurting himself, it was something that brought you two closer. Grayson was aware of how his brother felt about you. He didn’t even have to ask, he knows his twin better than anyone. He was just glad it was you and not anyone else, Grayson liked you & liked the influence you had on his brother. You were good for him.

The day that you two crossed the line into a physical relationship started like any other day. You were hanging around the house, doing a whole lot of nothing when you and Ethan decided to go to the beach on a whim to watch the sunset. You usually watched it in the backyard but you just wanted to get out of the house, and Ethan wanted to do whatever you did. After a few snaps and a photo shoot later, you found yourself in the backseat, looking at the stars appearing in the sky through the open sun roof while laying on him, his arms wrapped around you, rubbing the little moon tattoo you have just above your elbow. You swear you’ve never felt like this before, so safe and warm, and loved in someone’s arms before. Ethan makes you feel things that you swore you never wanted to feel.

You turned your head to look at him only to find his eyes already on you, a soft smile on his lips. You both were looking deep into each others eyes, slowly moving closer together until you could feel his breath fan your face, lips barely touching. It was Ethan who finally closed the space, kissing you so soft and tenderly. You swore it was the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared with another person.

Both of you got lost in each other, hands wandering and breathy moans until you broke the kiss and too your shirt off, exposing your bare chest to him for the first time. Before you could even react, his hands were on you, gently exploring this new uncharted territory for him. The way he was holding you made you feel like you were the most precious thing in the world. You grabbed his shirt in your hands and he got the hint, taking it off quickly before pulling you down to taste you once again. Your hands were tangled in his hair when you started to move your hips against his, grinding ever so softly because you needed more. His hands found your hips quickly and broke away, both of you panting heavily. You whimpered at the loss and brought your hands to the waistband of his pants and to kiss him again when he stopped you.

“Wait, wait Y/N, I need to hear you say you want this, because we don’t have to go any further.” His eyes were shining, hair a mess, and lips swollen. You were never more sure about anything in your life, mumbling a yes on his lips before you both got lost in each other again. That night, Ethan took your innocence under the stars in the back seat of his telsa.

Yeah, I want you to want me to take you back home to my mama

Put my name on your lips, call me yours and forget all this drama

Your makeup is next to my toothbrush but you never put it away on the shelf

I'm asking you baby 'cause I'm tired of asking myself

After the night in his car, things were very different between the two of you. You were much more affectionate towards each other, so much so that others were beginning to catch on. You no longer slept in the guest bedroom, instead you shared Ethan’s bed every night, tangled up with each other throughout the night. He was what you woke up to and who you fell asleep next to. You eventually began to find a flow between the three of you living under one roof. Every Saturday morning you would get up early, much to Ethan’s dismay, and do yoga with Grayson outside, then you would take the list that Grayson had written throughout the week and do the grocery shopping, picking up breakfast on your way back to the house because Ethan always woke up around the same time you got back. You did household things like the dishes, cooking and cleaning. Soon your laundry loads weren’t separated anymore, being thrown in with theirs. Little pieces of you were littered across the house. You had your little succulent plants lining the windowsill in the kitchen, a vase of fresh flowers always rested on the counter. There was your big fluffy blanket draped across the back of the couch, because you insisted that it was necessary when the AC was on full blast. Books were left on every table in the house, the soap in the bathrooms were replaced with the lavender scented ones you loved so much. The house even smelled of lavender, you insisted that it calmed you, so the boys bought you an essential oil diffuser for the common rooms and one for Ethan’s room, which was always on with lavender oil in. You had a corner of Ethan’s walk in dedicated to you, your skincare was right next to his, along with your toothbrush and all your makeup that took up half the counter. The boys kept finding hair bands in the strangest of places, your long hair always needing to be up if you weren’t going out.

Ethan wanted so desperately to ask what you were. He knew what you felt like you were, but he needed to hear the words. He knew in his heart that he loved you, you were it for him. His sister and mom knew all about you, but you haven’t met because he has yet to talk with you. The bubble you two were living in was near perfect, he didn’t want to take the chance and pop it.

Not too long after, the twins were planning on going back home for a little bit just to regroup and see their family. When they first mentioned it to you, you immediately got nervous. You thought Ethan was going to invite you right then & there, putting you on the spot. But he didn’t, so it made you question many things. You started to second guess things, did he not want you to meet his family? What were you doing here? You’ve given all of yourself to Ethan and opened up yourself in the most vulnerable of ways. You started to think that maybe this all was a bad idea. Nothing should’ve started until you both had spoke about where this was going, what each of you wanted from each other.

That night, you decided to sleep in the guest room for the first time in months. You didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with him until you knew what you were, but you were too scared to ask, fearing what his answer might be.

You were just stepping out of the bath, droplets of water falling onto the plush yellow carpet on the floor when you heard the door click open.

“Babe? Are you in here?” You sighed, wrapping yourself in your robe. You had hoped you could have at least one more night to sleep on your thoughts, but it needs to be done now. You needed to wake up from whatever this dream might be, no matter how wonderfully amazing it’s been.

Walking out of the bathroom, you saw him standing in the doorway with a puzzled look on his face.

“Yeah E, I was just taking a bath.” He started to walk towards you, arms reaching to wrap around you into a warm embrace. You gladly welcomed it, knowing this might be the last time you feel them. Ethan pulled away and looked deeply into your eyes.

“What are we?” He blurted out abruptly, shocking both himself and you at his forwardness. The bubble just popped. Sliding out of the warmth of his arms, you sat down on the bed, fiddling with your fingers.

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing lately,” You felt the tears welling in your eyes, throat getting tight & itchy. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. You needed to be strong, you could not break.

“Well, what do you want to be Y/N?” No more playing cat and mouse. Ethan needed answers and he needed them now. These games were getting tiring and he has to know if he’s going to get his heart broken or not.

“I don’t know, E.” You shook your head, a rogue tear falling on your lap.

“What does that even mean Y/N?!” He could feel his heart shattering right there. Those were not the words he wanted to hear, so his words were coated in anger to hide the sadness.

“I don’t know! I’m so lost, I feel like we’re in this limbo and I don’t know where I stand with you,” Your tears started free falling at that point, crashing like waves into the stone walls you had built so high, breaking under the pressure. “I don’t know what the right thing to say is, I’m constantly afraid that I’ll overstep the boundaries that I’m not even sure what they are!” Ethan ran his hand through his hair, ready to put it all out on the line.

“You want to know where I stand with you?” He raised his eyebrows high in question. “I don’t know much, I’m just a boy from Jersey who made stupid videos on youtube with his twin, somehow was able to move to LA and chase my dreams with my best friend by my side. I thought I had it all, I didn’t think I needed another goddamn thing, I was happy.” You couldn’t look at him, scared of the words that were going to come next.

“Until I met you. Y/N, you changed me for the better, you changed Grayson for the better. You brought us out of our comfort zones and challenged us in ways we wouldn’t have otherwise. I can’t even begin to imagine my life without you in it. You’ve become one of the most important people to me, I would be lost without you. I can’t fall asleep without holding you in my arms. You never fail to make me laugh, no matter how angry I am at Gray. You cook food for us, you do the laundry and go grocery shopping. You made me so incredibly happy and somewhere down the line, I fell in love with you.” Your heart jumped to your throat. You never thought that he would say this to you, let alone while you were in a robe in the guest bedroom, ready to walk out of his life for good. Ethan brought his hand to grasp your chin, moving upward so you had no choice but to look you in the eyes.

“I want you to come home and meet my family. I want you to move in. I want you to be with me, for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with you. I would follow you to the ends of the earth, you have my heart, you’ve had it for a while now. There’s nothing else in the world I want more than you.” Both if you had tears falling down your cheeks. You were so overwhelmed with emotion, you didn’t even know if you could form words. So you reached on your tippy toes and kissed him with all your might. You kissed him like your life depended on it.

“I love you too, E. So much. We’re written in the stars baby, not in the sand.”

Are we written in the stars baby, or are we written in the sand?

#ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan one shot #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan #ethan dolan blurb #ethan dolan smut #the dolan twins #dolan twins

54 notes · View notes

danwhobrowses · 3 years

Text

AEW - Best and Worst Booking Decisions from Double or Nothing 2020 to 2021

As I promised back in my WWE Post Reviewing the Booking of Mania 35-36 it is time for me to run down AEW's booking over the last year.

Double or Nothing 2020 was AEW's first PPV of the Empty Arena Era, which they pulled off with the inaugural TNT champion being Cody'd, Brian Cage's debut and murder of Darby Allin, Hikaru Shida began her mammoth title reign, Moxley and Brodie Lee put on a fantastic show with their short build and we finished off with the wacky Stadium Stampede. But since then, it's had some ups and downs.

As I said with the WWE one, these are my opinions: some of which will act within hindsight rather than within the moment.

There will also be spoilers from the Dynamite after DoN 2020 to the end of DoN 2021, you have been warned

May 2020 Best - FTR They told us one day they would wrestle the Bucks and the world shall rejoice, and after several teases on BTE following The Revival's release from the E, FTR arrived and the division got even more stacked because of it.

Worst - Mike Tyson loses to his shirt AEW did try with Tyson, pushing for some shared history with Jericho as they began to stand off with one another. But his struggle to cleanly tear off his shirt really made the confrontation awkward and it wouldn't go anywhere.

Best - Baker becomes the Roll Model Baker's injury was a huge blow given how she was finally getting over thanks to her heel turn and bloody battle with Shida. It would've very easily killed her momentum to be off TV, but AEW instead played into Baker's injury by making her flaunt her heelish hilarity, starting with her being a wheelchair-riding 'roll model', this would begin Baker's time entertaining in spite of injury.

Worst - Allie and QT begin What was this huh? Now Allie in a red dress was a sight to behold but the whole romance angle where a very married Allie had a brief period as a babyface and pairing with the also very married QT Marshall. We all knew it was gonna lead to Butcher and Blade jumping the Natural Nightmares, but it really overstayed its welcome.

Best - The TNT Open Challenge We will get more on this but Cody's win of the TNT title was met with concern given the monster push of Lance Archer - not to mention the dismal design of the championship itself. But Cody did his best to add prestige via the weekly Open Challenge, which would showcase a lot of talent in a similar way to Cena's US title Open Challenge.

June 2020 Best - Brodie goes on the Recruitment Prowl Being the leader of the Dark Order, Mr. Brodie Lee needed a new direction after being felled by Jon Moxley. What he decided was to add to his ranks; bringing in Dark Standout Alan Angels, enticing Colt Cabana and extending a hand to Anna Jay. These choices bolstered the Dark Order's ranks to last much longer, especially with their segments in BTE showing all their comedic flair.

Worst - Sammy Guevara eats his words The Speaking Out movement affected AEW just as it did most of wrestling, leading to the release of Jimmy Havoc. But Sammy Guevara also got done in by his egregiously vulgar comments he made regarding his attraction WWE's Sasha Banks in an old interview that had now surfaced. While this isn't a booking decision per se, it was the fault of AEW to have not caught this on their background check. Sammy would rightfully be suspended with a full apology, seminars taken and a direct conversation with Banks herself to make amends.

Best - Red Velvet stirs in Red Velvet would debut on Dark in June, showcasing talent which would later be enhanced and explored later in the year, adding Red Velvet did indeed bolster the women's division a bit more, showing AEW's dedication towards building new stars was still alive.

Best - Wardlow vs Luchasaurus rocks the house Lumberjack matches are more miss than hit, but the long-awaited match between Wardlow and Luchasaurus was a sleeper hit for the month. Big time spots of athletic hosses slapping meat and flipping feet continued to showcase Wardlow's dominance with a big win over the Dino-man, just a good wrestling match worth the wait.

July 2020

Best - Open Challenge Opens Doors Cody's open challenges started with the AEW roster, but they soon expanded to being for indy talent and cross-promotional challengers too: Enter Eddie Kingston. The Mad King made an instant impact in his hardcore challenge against Cody, which quickly earned him a contract with the company. Also among the challengers was Ricky Starks - who would also get a contract - and Warhorse, who had rallied the fans into giving him a shot - and AEW did play into his popularity, having an answer for a lot of Cody's offense until he hurt his leg for the finish. It was smart booking even if Cody was bound to win.

Worst - Cardona's time is Radio Silence You gotta feel bad for Matt Cardona, he has all the makings to be a great star, but he just suffers from either company disinterest, injury or poor timing. The latter was the case for his AEW time, since AEW were having to deal with WWE's COVID outbreak by extension of any partners, Cardona only had a rare appearance backing up Cody a few times and while he did find himself in Impact, it's sadly not as green as the other side.

Best - Sue is Over The Best Friends as babyfaces walk the line perfectly of being a group of goofball man-children but also legitimate and talented wrestlers. The cherry on the top though was the Friends' entrance to Fyter Fest in Trent's mom Sue's mini-van for their tag title match, immediately getting Sue over with fans. Sue would also be a cult figure for BTE in her skits with the Dark Order, being the only person ever to make Brodie Lee break character and corpse.

Worst - Cody cannot elevate Hager Cody's defenses led to Hager (and his wife) looking for a title match, the sale of it being a more legitimate bout with the weigh in and packages didn't pull off in the match though, being quite slow and simplistic. Hager still remains a wrestler who lacks any more potential than what he has now but knows the right people.

Best - Taz promos around Mox's COVID absence Due to the aforementioned outbreak, AEW were forced to reschedule their main event when Renee Young had contracted the virus, exposing their world champion Jon Moxley by extension. This meant that Brian Cage would have to wait longer for their match (though not as long as UK fans are waiting for AEW to come overseas), so AEW decided to let Taz carry them over this predicament, which he did marvelously by reviving his FTW title and handing it to Cage. It added some extra heat and something for Cage to carry around as if he had won the personal victory over Moxley already, and it would lead us into the following week's rescheduled Main Event at Fight for the Fallen.

August 2020 Best - Brodie Destroys Cody After a lot of defenses and Cody getting the 'finished product' TNT title, fans wondered how Cody's defense against Mr. Brodie Lee would go. And boy did we get a spectacle, the Exalted One demolished Cody, Anna Jay then choked out Brandi as the rest of the Dark Order held the Nightmare Family at bay, and we were left with the visual of Brodie on top and Cody and Brandi at their feet, covered in the shredded remains of the old TNT title that Cody had reigned with. It was great storytelling and a great way to elevate Brodie as well as finally putting the Dark Order over, the stable rode the highest they had been since their debut while Cody disappeared to film for the Go Big Show.

Worst - Bea and Sadie get released, Mel stays AEW did their best to keep as many people they could during the Pandemic, but due to the travel restrictions Bea Priestley was very much land locked and Sadie Gibbs was not getting a second chance at her botched debut. It was a shame because of how talented both women were, Bea especially since rumor has it she might be en route to the E. What was baffling was that Mel, of the failed Nightmare Collective, remains on AEW's payroll despite not having appeared for over a year, hard to add that up.

Best - Thunder Rosa makes her challenge Before the Forbidden Door, NWA opened their doors to AEW while the pandemic prevented them from filming shows. With champion Hikaru Shida lacking a built-up challenger, fans were interested in Thunder Rosa's intrigue about Shida's challenge, and would be pleased to see AEW roll with it too. Rosa and Shida made for a great cross-promotional feud which'd lead to a great match in the following month. To this very day, Thunder Rosa's appearance on AEW is one of the brand's most vital steps in terms of strengthening their women's division.

Worst - The Deadly Draw is on Youtube Speaking of the Women's Division, AEW had also decided to have an all-women's tournament called the Deadly Draw. 'Random' tag teams would be forged in a tag tournament that'd give women some time to show their stuff. Unfortunately, this would mostly be on Youtube - save for the Finals - and be dominated by Fans' disdain that Allie and Brandi were making the finals. The method of picking was not handled well since we didn't really get any mismatch teams aside from Nyla, and the amount of women we got were not all spectacular with Rache Chanel and the former Cameron being a part of it. While Ivelisse and Diamante would win too they only got some crappy medals, all of which leaves a bitter taste following Ivelisse's release.

Best - Deadly Draw gives us Conti, Diamante and Savoy That being said, the Deadly Draw had its saving graces. For one the use of Veda Scott on commentary, Madusa as the host and Shaul Guerrero as the announcer were nice touches, we also got to see Tay Conti, Diamante, Ivelisse and Nicole Savoy wrestle - the middle two win. Conti would turn out to be the most important of the lot with her team and friendship with Dark Order's Anna Jay, getting over because of their chemistry and making it to the semi-finals.

Worst - Conti to Dark Order doesn't develop Conti and Anna's friendship meant that soon after, Jay had extended an offer for her friend to join the stable. For weeks we saw Conti carry around this invitation but then: nothing. Conti never joined Dark Order and this didn't beget any friction between the friends either - in the end it became a missed opportunity as Conti dances on the edge of being supported by the Dark Order but not a part of the Dark Order.

Best - Jericho and Cassidy Debate With Mike Tyson unable to appear more to feud with Jericho, AEW slotted over-as-fuck Orange Cassidy to face Jericho. While Jericho got the win in the first match, we were graced with a fun 'debate' hosted by Schiavone and with a guest appearance of Eric Bischoff. Cassidy's monologue during the debate was great too.

Worst - Cassidy's first win over Jericho isn't as big as it should be Unfortunately, when Cassidy did get the win over Jericho was not as good as the first, getting clunky at times with some miscommunication and slow pacing. They would have their rubber match in the gimmicky Mimosa Mayhem which would also be a bit of a mixed bag.

Best - Hardy and the Mad King Squad Up Despite solid starts, Private Party, Lucha Bros and Butcher & the Blade had struggled a little to find success in AEW, but they would gain some benefit by associating with Matt Hardy and Eddie Kingston. Hardy worked well as a mentor to the similar styled tag team to his younger years, while Kingston's evil grin to the camera did signal that Kingston's new squad would be up to no good.

Best - Moxley and Allin make another classic Allin and Moxley somehow just click, they click so well that you could put them in a match every week and people wouldn't complain, hell there's fanart of Moxley essentially adopting Allin in the same vein as Shota 'Shooter' Umino. Anyway, Allin vs Moxley is always fantastic, and it made sense for the feud that was growing.

Best - You're Out of the Elite! Hangman's slow burn storytelling has been sublime, and it was at a new height when FTR started sniffing around Hangman like lions around a wounded gazelle. Feeding into Hangman's alcoholism - established since his inability to beat Jericho or PAC in his hunt to be world champion - FTR exposed doubt within Page that the Bucks were ousting him out and would soon turn on him. All of which were mind games to sow discontent between him and Omega in their bid for the tag titles. The cherry on the top came with Hangman's removal from the Elite, after a stellar feud in Revolution being brought up, Hangman impulsively screwed out the Bucks from getting another title match, after a dressing down and being kicked out of the group we pan to a shot of Hangman staring into a mirror cracked - perfect storytelling.

Best - MJF campaigns against Moxley MJF had been undefeated and fans have wondered when rather than if he would get his shot. And when he set his eyes on Moxley it is spectacular. The faux presidential campaign was right up MJF's alley as he looked to write out Moxley's go-to finish of the Paradigm Shift, this also had great easter eggs like MJF emulating Samoa Joe's shove on him to one of his entourage, as well as his lawyer Sterling being a good addition for the feud.

September 2020 Best - Allin/Starks, Johnson/Carter are bangers September came out with some very impressive matches, for Dynamite it was the culmination of Allin and Starks' feuding but on Dark we got unsigned Lee Johnson and Ben Carter blow the roof off, immediately both names were a topic of scouting and it remains a top level match.

Worst - Billy Mitchell's cameo Early into Miro's debut we got some vignettes of 'The Best Man' enjoying his other past-time as a gamer. While this wasn't the right way to go in hindsight, the cameo of Billy Mitchell - a controversial figure in Arcade Gaming - was quite out of place for AEW as well, many having to look up who the dude was anyway and why many gamers were disgruntled about it. 'Celebrity' Cameos can only really work if you know who they are.

Best - Kingston stories a weird finish into a Title Match It would've been a Worst moment on this list when Eddie Kingston lost a battle royale for a title shot by being pushed off the turnbuckle despite leaving to the apron via the middle rope. However, when winner Archer came down with COVID, AEW was put in a reverse Fyter Fest scenario, a champion but no opponent. This allowed Kingston an in to use the fact that he never technically went over the top rope to barter a title match, which he used to impressive effect.

Worst - Sydal Slips The Shooting Star Press is a difficult move to pull off, and dangerous to botch. It had also been the staple of Matt Sydal, who was the Joker in the Casino Battle Royale of All Out, but when he did his Shooting Star he slipped and faceplanted. While it's not a booking decision it is a sore spot, Sydal has partly recovered as a full time worker and a mini-feud with Nakazawa to save face on the botch, but he has only once tried the move again.

Best - Will Hobbs impresses When Sydal botched and hit the floor though, Will Hobbs was the one you saw roll over inconspicuously to check he wasn't hurt. The youngster had already been impressing on AEW Dark on a regular basis and his appearance alone in the Battle Royale was an encouraging sign. Hobbs would also put on a strong performance in that match, which would lean in on being more utilized on Dynamite, his momentum would also carry to Double or Nothing with another strong run in a Battle Royale mostly pitted against Christian Cage.

Worst - The Matt Hardy incident Perhaps the lowest point of All Out was the Broken Rules Match. Hardy and Sydal had overshot their spear spot from a forklift to a table and Hardy hit his head hard. Hardy wobbled with signs of concussion as the match to and fro'd about being called off, Hardy though was having none of it - since the stipulation would have him retire had he lost - he would continue for a scaffolding spot for the finish but it did put a lot of heat on Guevara and AEW for allowing the match to continue. Matt would make a recovery and have a cinematic match with Sammy to finish the tainted feud, but from there BROKEN Matt Hardy was seldom seen.

Best - Deeb arrives Serena Deeb is one of the most technically gifted women on wrestling. Someone so grossly underutilized by WWE that it's baffling that the best thing they would do with her on the main roster is shave her head for the admittedly great Straight Edge Society but then release her for not keeping up kayfabe in her personal life. This was the month though that the current NWA Women's Champion debuted on AEW Dark and would later get signed, Deeb adds veteran experience and technical mastery to AEW's women's roster and she is a cert to be AEW Women's Champion someday.

Worst - Fans fight Tooth and Nail but Swole/Baker doesn't deliver Despite Britt Baker's rise to superstardom, her return feud with Big Swole became a bit of a mishit. The build was fine with Swole often getting the better of the wheelchair-bound Baker, so for Baker's return AEW had set a cinematic match in her dentist's office. The match was placed on the Buy-In, which pissed a lot of fans off and had them strong-arm Khan into putting it as the opener, and it didn't pay off. The match was par at best, ending with Baker losing as well, while the quickly-put-together match of Private Party vs Silver & Reynolds shone brightly on the Buy In in the spot this match should've taken. Listening to fans is of course good but AEW had the hindsight to judge whether the match was worth it in the eyes of the fans and they picked wrong.

Best - Parking Lot Brawl But for every par match AEW has they always sneak in a blinder, and it was Best Friends' 5-Star Parking Lot Brawl against Santana & Ortiz that pulled it off. With Orange Cassidy coming out of the boot of the car, Santana & Ortiz's Dead Presidents' appearance and Sue getting a brand new minivan and flipping off the Inner Circle duo at the end, the match was a fantastic closer for the night.

October 2020 Best - Brandon Cutler gets the W Brandon Cutler had AEW's longest losing streak, and they loved to ham it up, except Peter Avalon also had AEW's longest losing streak too. They had tried working together but couldn't find the common ground, so when Avalon turned on Cutler we were set for one of these men to get the win. After two no contests due to double count outs and double disqualifications, Cutler and Avalon had a no rules rubber match on Dark and it was great. Cutler got his win in probably AEW Dark's best feud storytelling - though it probably should've been on Dynamite or even the Buy In of the PPV - giving a payoff years in the making.

Worst - Nyla/Shida II is built on Dark Hikaru Shida had gone through the majority of the Women's Roster, so with new manager Vickie Guerrero, Nyla Rose wanted her title back. The problem however was that all of Vickie's calling out of Shida after a Nyla squash was on Dark, so the match was poorly built. You feel bad for Tony Khan because he tried this so more eyes would go on Dark but it was also a reminder that title matches should be built on the Main Show.

Best - MJF and Jericho get musical MJF had decided once again to try and get in with the Inner Circle, only this time he was faring better thanks to his chemistry with Chris Jericho. What we got was Le Dinner Debonair, a pompous, broadway-esque musical scene that fit the larger than life and delusional heel aura of both men's ego. While some people called it 'too goofy', it was also named one of the best TV moments of the year.

Worst - Miro feuds over an Arcade Machine Fans wanted one thing from Miro: the beast, but AEW did not lead with that. Instead they had him feud with Best Friends because they were thrown into an Arcade Machine he was playing. While it's not the level of feuding over shampoo, it was still rather dumb and contrived given how the rest of this weak feud was telegraphed leading up to Kip and Penelope's wedding - despite Miro's attempts to subvert Wrestling Wedding Tropes.

Best - Leyla legitimately impresses In October, 'Legit' Leyla Hirsch came out of nowhere and made the best of her moment. A non-title debut against champion Hikaru Shida on Dark proved an extremely entertaining affair as Hirsch got to showcase her physicality, and then that was followed instantly by a NWA Women's Title shot against Deeb on Dynamite - which she also really impressed in. While it took a while for AEW to announce Leyla as a signing, it was a definite plus to see Olympic qualities in the Women's Division.

Worst - Jericho can't get Luther over When Jericho got a whole Dynamite to celebrate 30 years in the business he had a lot on his plate, several cameos from Slash and Hiroshi Tanahashi made it a special moment but the Main Event didn't work. Luther is sadly another one of those Brutus Beefcake cases of knowing the right people, and while Luther could probably go when he was younger, currently he isn't the best. People wondered if Jericho could carry Luther in his match with Chaos Project but unfortunately it didn't land, Luther after all has his place on the undercard throwing Serpentico around, he doesn't need any more than that.

Best - The Cleaner shows signs of returning After an Anniversary Show meant that Moxley had gone through another opponent in his mammoth title reign, AEW had set up a tournament to name the new Number 1 Contender. At this time as well FTR had already dealt with Hangman and Omega but their post-match embrace was not reciprocated by Omega, who had more or less washed his hands with his partner. The two were in different places, Page had descended further into the bottom of a drink without any of his friends while Kenny had become focused upon being a singles competitor again. Metaphorically winking to the hard cam, Omega would enter in an over the top fashion with cheerleaders of the Jacksonville Jaguars dancing with brooms to hark the slow arrival of the Cleaner. His disgruntled face after squashing Sonny Kiss was also meme quality.

Worst - Brodie's Reign is cut short Brodie Lee's TNT title reign was great, it had put the Dark Order on top and his segments on BTE were extremely entertaining too. An emphatic return of the dark haired Cody Rhodes did invite a rematch which would be a more brutal affair than Cody's prior squashing, but sadly Brodie would not retain. His reign only lasted a month and in hindsight that would be the only time Brodie held gold, while he stated he had no regrets on how short his reign was it was not great booking to put it immediately back on Cody as if Brodie only held it because Cody had another show to record.

Best - Dog Collar Match was great Result notwithstanding though, the Dog Collar match proved as brutal as it was entertaining. Another match that elevated the TNT title's prestige, Lee and Cody tore into each other in a match that could've easily screamed Vince Russo late-WCW failure. But the men pulled it off with their raw talent and nobody looked bad out of it.

November 2020 Best - Kenny vs Hangman I Since AEW's inception, Hangman Page has been on a slow course to squaring off against Kenny Omega. This came to a head in the finals of the No.1 Contendership Tournament, the confident Kenny vs the angsty Page proved an effective opener which further spiralled Hangman into depression while Kenny would return to the top of the card.

Worst - Hornswoggle in a nappy? The Inner Circle's Vegas skit was probably too much, it had some good moments like Hager and Wardlow continually staring at each other as they beat up people in the club, also the appearance of an Elvis Impersonator and Konnan. But the bit finished on a weird note trying to homage The Hangover by having WWE's former Hornswoggle appear in a baby's nappy, it was just weird no ways around it.

Best - Cargill and Top Flight make an impression November saw the debuts of new members of the Women's and Tag Division. The Martin brothers impressed as the new vibrant and athletic tag team, putting on a wild show against The Bucks. Jade Cargill would start AEW by confronting Cody with the tease of one Shaquille O'Neal, but the moment the camera panned to Cargill she had one word printed on her and it was 'Star'. While Top Flight are halved by injury, Cargill has continued to show her growth.

Worst - Shida vs Abadon has a short build When Abadon debuted on AEW Dark she put on an impressive match with then-not-champion Hikaru Shida, the story being that Shida was weirded out by the Living Dead Girl. Since then, Abadon had been undefeated in her sporadic appearances - partly delayed by injury - so she was put on a course to reignite this storyline with Shida. However, they didn't get enough time, only a couple segments of Shida trying to prove herself not scared and an AEW Dark segment when Abadon jumped Shida and hit a Cemetery Drive on her. A decent match would follow, but we could've done a lot more.

Best - Hobbs turns to FTW Will Hobbs had grown more and more impressive with each appearance, put over as well in promo by Jon Moxley too gave him a lot of credit. During Darby's feud with Team Taz, Hobbs had often come to make the save to prevent Darby from being injured, however he did have a habit of arriving a little late. This proved to be intentional when Hobbs turned heel, aligning with Team Taz to learn under the ECW Legend. While Hobbs has yet to taste gold, he has of recent found himself elevated by the feud with Christian Cage and should Brian Cage move away from Team Taz, he would clearly be the top choice to take the FTW belt from him.

Worst - Cody Hogan's his title loss When it was time for Cody to drop the TNT belt again, fans would hope that it would be a similar case of Cody putting someone over red hot like he did Brodie. However, instead Darby defeated Cody with a series of roll ups which Cody kicked out in 3.1, a very Hogan vs Warrior title change with Cody also having to keep the spotlight on him by handing the belt to Darby before Darby's moment was further interrupted by Team Taz's attack.

Best - Darby has gold At the very least, Darby being crowned TNT champion after finally beating Cody was a perfect narrative for the talented and albeit batshit crazy masochist Emo Skater Boy. Darby's reign would also be consistently good and maintain Allin's star aura against opponents of all shapes and sizes.

Best - PAC is BAC Due to COVID, several of AEW's international talents were land-locked and unable to appear, but when the UK's borders loosened slightly The Bastard PAC made an emphatic return to reestablish Death Triangle. This had also come off the heels of Eddie Kingston trying to sway Penta away from his brother and kick Fénix out of his group. PAC's mini-feud with Kingston would remind the world that AEW had some world class talent to put in against Kenny Omega as well as reminding the world that PAC is just amazing as a wrestler.

Best - Bunkhouse match blows the roof off Dustin Rhodes seems to have carved an interesting spot for himself as the 'Obscure Gimmick Match Master'. Currently teasing a Bullrope match with Nick Comoroto, he shone brightly in the culmination of the long-winded QT/Allie storyline which lead to a Bunkhouse Match against the Butcher and the Blade. It had old school qualities with amazing spots that continued a long chain of AEW pulling off impressive gimmick matches even if the feud wasn't as impressive itself.

Best - Mox and Kingston, Feud of the Year 2020 You know what was an impressive feud though? Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston. Imagine winning feud of the year for something set up in September to November? And most of it was promo, but these were two of the best promo guys in the world, touching on their roots, their former friendship, the lengths either would go and all coming to a head in an I Quit Match. Kingston made you believe every word he said when he declared that he would never quit and he wouldn't stop until he was champion but come the match Moxley proved more resilient than words can be. Getting Feud of the Year is not bad going for what originally started as a one-off title match because Archer got COVID.

December 2020 Best - Brodie Lee Memorial Show Near the end of December the wrestling world was shocked by the death of Brodie Lee, the Exalted One was someone fans really wanted to see be a major world champion someday, but he had tragically succumbed to a Lung condition. At this time too AEW were promoting a 2-part special of New Year's Dash, but delayed the shows a week to put on a memorial show for Brodie. With matches picked by Brodie's eldest son, AEW did perhaps the perfect tribute show, with a perfect blend of clips and tributes paired with matches that honored the Big Rig. Brodie's influence was shown with Silver emulating Brodie's outfit, Eric Redbeard appearing, FTR renaming their Goodnight Express to the Big Rig, and the TNT title being handed to Brodie Lee Jr. - who became AEW's youngest signing - and a special t-shirt being the highest selling t-shirt of 2020, with proceeds going to Brodie's wife, Amanda. Brodie's influence still reigns in AEW as the Dark Order have become somewhat gatekeepers to the TNT title and the quote 'It's [day], and you know what that means' being frequently used or displayed via signs to start off an AEW show.

Worst - Ben Carter slips through their fingers Ben Carter had proven a sensational talent on his AEW showings, quickly having rose to having a match on Dynamite. However, AEW did not get his signature on the dotted line, and the E came a-callin'. The loss of the now-Nathan Frazer was a rough blow for AEW business since it showed that WWE could still outbid them if they wanted someone enough, and AEW made the mistake of not signing him before other companies started sniffing around.

Best - IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! The 'Winter is Coming' special had many big things happen, but one of the biggest of all was the return of Sting. Instantly Sting's T-Shirt sales broke records in AEW (until the Brodie shirt would break Sting's) as the WCW legend had made his return to TNT in a veil of snow staring down Darby Allin, nostalgia was high on this moment.

Worst - STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING does nothing for a month But. There was a problem with Sting's arrival on AEW, he wasn't exactly spry in his 60s and AEW were cautious in wanting him to come back into the ring despite being classed as an active talent. AEW did miss a mark by promoting Sting to just do the same interview over and over, more than once in fact, you gotta do something with Sting to get the fans excited.

Best - Taz chokes out Cody While feuding with Darby, Cody became involved when he dropped the TNT title to Darby and got attacked by Team Taz all the same. When this led to a verbose conflict between Cody and Taz over the legitimacy of the FTW championship, Cody made the mistake of turning his back on Taz after diminishing his philosophy because Taz's son Hook was training under his factory rather than his father. Jake the Snake did warn him not to turn your back on someone you respect, but maybe he should've warned him to not turn your back on a Human Suplex Machine, because Taz immediately put him in the Tazmission - to a huge pop from fans - choking out the younger Rhodes to further personalize their feud.

Worst - Dynamite Diamond Ring doesn't change MJF had used the Dynamite Diamond Ring sporadically as a weapon to cheat in matches, but it anything it was a glorified brass knuckles that had limited prestige. When AEW had the chance to give it new prestige by having it fought over a year after MJF won it, they decided to simply keep it on MJF's pinky finger. As a result we had a battle royale and a match that kinda went nowhere narratively, and AEW should've really just made the ring a one-off or given it to someone else to signify a young up-and-coming talent getting a rub.

Best - The Acclaimed prove they're not all talk Not to be outdone by Top Flight, who they seem destined to have an eternal rivalry with, The Acclaimed put on an impressive showing in their title match with the Bucks too. Max Caster's diss tracks continue to slowly win fans over but this was the moment the Acclaimed turned into a mainstay of AEW's tag division.

Worst - TNT ask for no more surprises While reported months later, fans were alerted that after Sting's debut, TNT had asked AEW to not do any more surprises. Business-wise it made sense since they wanted to promote any big moments on the show for a greater viewership, but Wrestling-wise eliminating the shock factor would be a detriment to the business as a whole. AEW have managed to work their way around such things by promoting 'mystery entrants' or debuting surprise characters between other promoted segments but it is still a questionable decision by TNT to request such a thing.

Best - This is Bear Country Next on the 'XX impress on Dark, get signed up' is the tag team of Bear Country. Different to Top Flight's flippy talent and the Acclaimed's knack for mind games and more technical wrestling was two big hoss men running roughshot War Machine-style, there's not much else you need to sell with that, Bear Country was just good stuff and provided another style AEW's tag division could use.

January 2021 Best - Negative One With Brodie Lee Jr. now signed to AEW, he started to make appearances as Dark Order's new leader 'Negative One'. And instantly, Brodie Jr had become an excellent presence. With great understanding of the business for such a young age, Negative One would delight audiences on Dark and Elevation be it on commentary or simply being the feral prince that often accompanied Preston Vance, Anna Jay and/or Tay Conti. The kid was having the time of his life too.

Worst - TNT title doesn't get revamped enough With the original finished product of the TNT title handed to Brodie Jr, there was an opening to make a new TNT title which learned from the criticisms that the original had. Unfortunately we did not have this, we mostly just got a Black strap. Granted COVID would've been a part of that but given how long Darby's reign was, we could've put work towards giving us a better looking TNT championship.

Best - Dark Order turn face, help the Hangman On BTE Dark Order found their feet with their flair for comedy, one of the segments that began this was Evil Uno's selling of Brodie's throwing of papers, the bit originated from Lee discovering that Hangman had once reached out to the Dark Order website sometime at the beginning of his depression spiral. Because of the rejection, the Dark Order had fostered an animosity against Page with frequent 'Fuck Hangman' chants, and yet Hangman would sporadically appear in their hangout, starting his own 'Fuck Hangman' chant when kicked out of the Elite in a brutal show of Page's self-loathing. From there though the Dark Order had softened to the Anxious Millennial Cowboy and after a face turn they had grown to become AEW's most popular faction and a much-needed friend for Page. While Hangman wouldn't officially join the Dark Order, it definitely proved to be an entertaining chapter in Page's story from an unlikely source.

Worst - Team Taz will jump Darby, but not Sting During their feud, Team Taz were seen to jump Darby Allin whenever they could, didn't matter if he had Cody or Moxley on his side they would still try to get the upper hand on the TNT champion. But now that Sting has arrived, Team Taz decided to stop doing that. As much as it was AEW protecting Sting from bumps, it really diminished Team Taz as well because five men that included Ricky Starks, Powerhouse Hobbs and Brian Cage were scurrying away from a lone 60 year old with a baseball bat.

Best - Bullet Club in AEW Tama Tonga might refute it, but the appearance of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson in AEW was big, and their arrival to aid Kenny and then to two sweet him with the Bucks was an image definitely worthy of closing the night. From Gallows and Anderson's arrival to AEW led to Impact's doors being opened, which has recently led to Omega being the Belt Collector.

Worst - Callis' feud with the Bucks is gimmicky When Kenny won the AEW World Title at Winter is Coming, he had began a full on chaotic turn with Don Callis as his manager of sorts. The Young Bucks however were still firm babyfaces and were perturbed by Callis' actions that were ousting the Jackson brothers out of Kenny's social circles. Some bits were good, Callis really laying in thick the fact that he felt the Bucks had lost their edge, but the majority of it was a bit too much soap opera for my liking, the fake shiner was probably where it jumped the shark.

Best - Tay Conti shows her improvement against Deeb Tay Conti had grown a lot as a wrestler since her debut, and when set to challenge Serena Deeb for the NWA Women's Championship we had the story of 'Jack of All Trades vs Master of One'. Leaning more into her Judo and martial arts background, Tay Conti showed the wrestling world that she had arrived as a wrestler thanks to the AEW machine. WWE's loss had officially become AEW's gain as Tay Conti continues her rise to perhaps being one of the biggest female stars in the company.

Worst - Archer can't win a feud Having lost to Cody in May and then Moxley on the Anniversary episode, Archer was put in a no-win situation by feuding with Eddie Kingston. Now Kingston is great, but the problem was that both men desperately needed to win a feud for credibility, and Archer was the one who lost. Archer continues to be sold as a monster but also someone who will lose all his major feuds. Suffice to say, more can be done with the Murderhawk Monster.

Best - MJF sows seeds of discontent Having officially gotten in with the Inner Circle, MJF now had Chris Jericho's ear and he was ready to spread his poison. This started with the ousting of Sammy Guevara - Jericho's protege of sorts - before moving on to sowing tension between Jericho and Santana & Ortiz. This would be the beginnings of an excellent swerve by AEW, which we will get to later.

Worst - Santana and Ortiz aren't even the Inner Circle's tag team? Because of MJF's sowing though, we had a weird scenario where the Inner Circle were debating who was their official tag team? Debating between Jericho and MJF the singles competitors, Sammy and Hager the singles competitors or Santana & Ortiz the tag team. In this as well MJF and Jericho won, which was more sowing on MJF's part but it does still leave the worrying sense that AEW's tag division is perhaps too big as Tony Khan waits for the right moment to introduce a Trios title.

Best - Wardlow vs Hager was surprisingly good Another recurring narrative of MJF joining the Inner Circle was Jake Hager and Wardlow staring each other off whenever they could. In order to 'bury the hatchet', Hager challenged the War Dog to a match, and surprisingly this was Hager's best match in an AEW ring so far, big men slapping meat with the right conclusion of Wardlow winning.

Worst - The Waiting Room fades out While Britt Baker was injured but not Wheelchair bound she had started an interview show on Dark called 'The Waiting Room', it had a few flaws here and there but eventually it showed on Dynamite to decent effect. But after that it was gone, which is a shame because it could've easily been a longstanding segment for either of AEW's shows at the time to give some promo segments or interviews to AEW's talent.

Best - Private Party are leeched After working under the wing of 'Big Money' Matt Hardy, Private Party turned heel to compliment Hardy's newfound persona as the Company Leech. The heel turn has somewhat revitalized the once-promising tag team and proved they can play either side, it even got them an Impact Tag Title shot and an impressive match on the PPV.

Worst - Whatever Snoop Dogg was doing Snoop Dogg made an AEW appearance where he was insistent on doing a spot, but it didn't really work - much like it didn't really work when he tried it in WWE. Snoop as a guest wasn't the worst idea in the world and it is good that he's willing to bump on the show, but could does not always mean should.

Best - Jungle Boy and Dax put on a masterclass In the middle of FTR's midcard feud with Jurassic Express - the one that'd involve Marko Stunt being kidnapped - Dax Harwood and Jungle Boy crossed paths in an excellently technical match. The match received high praise that'd further put Jungle Boy over while also giving worthy praise for Harwood's wrestling ability.

Best - Jungle Boy gets some Baltimora While on the subject of Jungle Jack Perry, Tony Khan had decided that he had a library of songs he owned or could own and use as entrance themes for some of AEW's more earmarked talent. This would begin with Jungle Boy, who was given Baltimora's 'Tarzan Boy' per the suggestion of Joey Janela. Immediately Jungle Boy had something the fans could use to rally behind, a chantable song that embraced all that Jungle Boy's character was.

February 2021 Best - JD Drake makes an impression JD Drake does not look like AEW's typical wrestler, but that's the point. On his debut on Dark he surprised many with his great offense and agility, even able to pull off a moonsault. Quickly Drake was signed and becomes the odd one out but also the oft-ignored voice of common sense in the Wingmen faction of prettyboys. He's having a lot of fun with it too and has put on good matches, recently against Rocky Romero.

Worst - Women's Eliminator Tournament partly goes on Youtube The Women's Eliminator Tournament opened up the Women's Division in a big way, but COVID meant that not all of it could be filmed in Jacksonville. So like the Deadly Draw, the tournament had to spend some of its time on Youtube. Now I have no problem with Youtube being used, it's a wider medium that can be accessed at any time, but it did mimic the downsides of the Deadly Draw and alienate the TNT-only audience, especially since Dynamite rarely showed highlights of the tournament progress.

Best - Women's Eliminator Tournament exceeds expectations That is however, the only criticism with hindsight one can give the Eliminator Tournament. Because not only did it give us the return of Riho, Yuka Sakazaki, Ryo Mizunami, Emi Sakura and Aja Kong, but it also graced us with the talented debuts of Maki Itoh, VENY (aka Asuka, who also wore Hana Kimura's robe) and Mei Suruga. In addition Shida provided Japanese commentary for the Joshi matches sporting a strikingly beautiful white suit. The tournament did not have a bad match at all; with VENY vs Sakura, Suruga vs Sakazaki, Sakazaki vs Sakura (which had Sakura perform a fantastic entrance), Serena Deeb vs Riho, Leyla Hirsch vs Thunder Rosa, Riho vs Rosa, Baker vs Nyla, Conti vs Nyla and the finals were all great and unique matches. The non-tournament 6-woman joshi tag match was also excellent and so was the surprise winner of Ryo Mizunami and her title shot against Shida at Revolution.

Best - Moxley brings the IWGP US Championship Jon Moxley may've lost the AEW World Championship, he still had a title on hand he could use: the IWGP US Championship. While NJPW had intended to keep it mainly on NJPW Strong during COVID, New Japan also allowed Moxley to bring his title on rare occasions to AEW, later to the point where he could defend it. It was definite good business and the next thing is why it was such a big deal.

Best - THE FORBIDDEN DOOR OPENS! 'New Japan will not work with AEW' - that was what we were told in the early stages of AEW, but we held out hope. We got more hope when Harold Meij stepped down from NJPW but still the 'Forbidden Door' remained shut, all the way until Beach Break when a hooded figure came up to Jon Moxley, hit a GTS and revealed himself. KENTA, the holder of the IWGP US Championship Briefcase he won in the inaugural New Japan Cup USA tournament. The internet went wild, the forbidden door was open and there was no way fans will let it close again.

March 2021 Best - Sting debuts cinematically Team Taz's feud with Darby came to a head with a Tag Team Street Fight. It was Sting's first AEW match and fans were concerned on how many bumps he could take - memory of his 'career-ending' match with Rollins echoing in the mind. AEW though would not make that mistake, deciding to go cinematic to protect Sting and give him time to recover from any bumps caused - as well as win the match like one HHH refused to do - the match itself was fantastic with Team Taz and Darby fitting in a ton of extreme spots and Brian Cage just flexing all over the place.

Worst - Archer feuds(?) with Sting After said Street Fight though, Sting continued said momentum with: Interviews. Worse yet these interviews started being interrupted by Lance Archer, who wanted to take Sting's TV time from him. This amounted to nothing as well because after Sting put an endorsement on Archer, the Murderhawk Monster would decide not to fight for a spot and come in to save Sting and Darby from time to time. If we were gonna establish this alliance we could've done more with it, sadly AEW keep on following up Sting wrestling with a ton of Sting talking.

Best - The Pinnacle debut MJF's snaking in on the Inner Circle was paying off dividends, but after an unsuccessful challenge for the tag titles, the Inner Circle had announced a 'War Council' to discuss their future. It looked as though MJF was gonna completely oust out Jericho from his own group, but out came Sammy Guevara. Absent since leaving the group, Guevara had unraveled MJF, revealing that the Inner Circle was wise to MJF's plot all along: except they weren't. MJF had played 5 steps ahead of the Inner Circle, because he wasn't trying to steal his faction, he was setting up his own. FTR, Spears, Wardlow and MJF swarmed the Inner Circle for an epic debut which would be known as the Pinnacle.

Worst - Cody beats Penta despite a shoulder injury At this point fans were beginning to wonder how Cody Rhodes would write himself off of TV. His wife Brandi was halfway through pregnancy and the Rhodes had announced a Miz & Mrs-esque reality show too. So when Cody was kayfabing a shoulder injury and pitted against Penta El 0M, fans were hoping that this time Cody could not finagle his way into defeating a charismatic and popular member of the roster who could use the rub and has a history of kayfabe breaking arms, and yet he did. The feud set up ended up being a one-off that harmed Penta more than it did good, he had done the arm breaker but Cody just shrugged it off and won anyway. It was growing all too apparent that clean Cody losses will remain to be few and far between.

Best - Penta Says that Alex is a Great Hype Man There is one saving grace to the Penta/Cody mini feud though and it's that pseudo-Dark Order member, Spanish announcer and interviewer Alex Abrahantes had been paired with Penta as his translator/hype man. Sporting some Rollins-esque outfitting of gloves and jackets, Abrahantes added extra venom to his translations which of course gave Penta a lot more vibrance. Alex as well seems to be having a whale of a time doing so.

Worst - Team Taz Dissension starts, but will pause for 2 months In the aftermath of their Street Fight defeat, Cage had drawn the ire of his Team Taz comrades by showing Sting some respect. This led to some light tension between Cage and the rest of the team, especially Ricky Starks. While this could've worked towards a Cage face turn, the tension fizzled out, only reigniting recently.

Best - Jade, Velvet and Shaq impress at a Crossroads The special episode 'The Crossroads' had been set up to promote a mixed tag match which served as Jade Cargill and Shaq's AEW wrestling debut. Competing against Cody and Red Velvet, the match did put fan minds at ease by keeping Shaq's spots simple but classic, while Velvet and Cargill ran the show in the ring. Shaq took a table bump as well which was cool and the match started Jade's star-level momentum on a high.

Worst - Shaq just, disappears In the aftermath of the table spot Shaq was put on a stretcher and into an ambulance, but when we went backstage to get some comments from Shaq before being sent off we found that the ambulance was empty. A weird thing considering that in a few days Shaq would be back on TNT anyway like that had no continuity, it was a strange decision nonetheless.

Best - Exploding. Barbed Wire. Deathmatch! AEW and their penchant for gimmick matches is an interesting relationship, but the moment this match was announced it had garnered a lot of hype. I mean it's not every day you see an Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch, and Kenny and Mox had already tore into each other in Full Gear to the point where they legitimately broke state laws. The match was every bit as brutal as promised, homaging Onita many a time through Mox but also with the wired up baseball bat, 99% of the match was freaking awesome.

Worst - Fizzling. Barbed Wire. Deathmatch. Sadly, that 1% that wasn't would be the final visual of the PPV. Moxley is defeated and the whole ring is gonna blow, Kenny and co have scurried and Mox is handcuffed and KO'd in the middle of the ring. Disregarding the warnings of the Butcher, Blade and Bunny, Eddie Kingston rushes in to help his former friend, past enmity be damned, he cannot free Mox in time and in a narratively pivotal act of self-sacrifice drapes himself over Moxley to take the blow. And all we got was a fizzle, a few sparklers and fireworks would end the night unfulfilled, undoing all the good the match had delivered. It would be AEW's most unsatisfying moment caused by a botched ending that could never be undone.

Best - Mox and Kingston reunite to rule the promos Although they could not take back the botched finish, the storyline still allowed a new dynamic of Moxley and Kingston reuniting as chaotic street brothers eyeing up the Elite for a fight. One King of Promo would be enough but two was just fantastic, you could watch Kingston and Moxley bounce off of each other all day and still remain thoroughly entertained.

Worst - Kingston doesn't get a crack at Kenny It was however a shame that draping your body over your friend to protect him from an intended explosion was not enough to validate a feud between said person and the creator of the explosive device. Kingston looked all but set to try and avenge his friend by facing Kenny, but it would not turn out to be. The closest we got was a jump and a One Winged Angel, which is a shame because Kingston vs Kenny would've been fantastic - but alas, Mox and Kingston jumped over Kenny and just went for the tag teams instead.

Best - AEW support Cezar Bononi and his wife Cezar Bononi was doing fine as part of the Undercard faction of the Wingmen with Pretty Peter Avalon, Ryan Nemeth and JD Drake. Behind the curtain though Bononi's wife Camila was suffering from Leukemia and needed a Bone Marrow transplant, her sister was a match but she was in Brazil so they needed an emergency visa so to do the transplant on time. Thanks to the collective efforts of fans and the continued exposure AEW provided for Bononi, Camila's sister would make it in time and Camila herself got her transplant and seems to be doing well.

Worst - Big Money Matt loses his quarter, but it doesn't go anywhere In the conclusion of the chapter where Matt Hardy tried to leech his way into Hangman Page's profits, Hangman had defeated Hardy in a 'Big Money' match which meant that Page had won all of Hardy's money over the last quarter. This opened an avenue to see what Big Money Matt could be like with No Money, but it amounted to very little. In fact the worst we got from Matt was eating olives, a missed opportunity for sure, we could've even had Matt be hounded by loan sharks and debt collectors but alas, it didn't dent his money in the end, at the very least Hangman got his lawnmower.

Best - Elevation elevates Mizunami, Leyla and Limelight In March, AEW debuted a more canonized version of Dark called Elevation, which'd be used to show off a bit of the undercard and allow more opportunity to climb the rankings. In the first month of Elevation, we were graced with several good matches, usually including one of three Elevation Regulars. The Eliminator Tournament Winner Ryo Mizunami would go on a series of bouts with female talent such as Tesha Price and KiLynn King where she effortlessly fit into the role of AEW's women's division gatekeeper, meaning that whoever beat her would get a solid rub - and Abadon did. When Mizunami returned to Japan, one of the people she felled took over from her duties and that was Leyla Hirsch, Hirsch had teamed successfully with Mizunami a couple of times as well and has effectively used her spot to get some wins in. On the men's side, NJPW Strong regular Danny Limelight was given his namesake with some high profile matches including Jungle Boy, Frankie Kazarian and Dark Order's 10, not to mention Takeshita, Omega, Kingston and Moxley in later months, the Team Filthy member definitely taking the show's name to heart.

Best - Cassidy wonders where his mind is Not long after Jungle Boy had obtained Baltimora, plans had been made to give Orange Cassidy a new theme too. The pick was an inspired one with The Pixies' 'Where is My Mind?' - which many would be familiar with as the ending song to Fight Club - the song suited Cassidy really well, and after positive testing on Dark it was used for the next Dynamite to close off the night.

Best - Arcade Anarchy delivers in spite of a weak feud It should probably be a word of caution to not face the Best Friends in a gimmick match in AEW, because they hit a new gear whenever they do. The feud with Miro and Kip was poor, and fans were more than happy for it to end on the PPV when Miro got his win, but AEW insisted on one more match: Arcade Anarchy - agreed to by Kip. In spite of fears this match ruled: Trent's return with Sue was great, Kris Statlander's return was a huge surprise, it took all 3 Best Friends to keep Miro down and we finished the night with Where is My Mind playing us off. Despite the weak feud, AEW had finished strongly which made reheating Miro a lot easier.

Best - Tully Blanchard wrestles in 2021 The culmination of Jurassic Express vs FTR came in the Crossroads in a 6-Man tag match. Made extra bonkers because Tully Blanchard was FTR's third man in the match. They of course limited his spots and a Shawn Spears return would prove the difference, but it's an entertainingly ridiculous thing that Tully Blanchard both wrestled in 2021 and won: wrestling is just crazy.

Best - Final 4 of Casino Tag Royale put on a Show AEW have played around with the 'Casino' concept for a few stipulations; regular battle royale for men and women, ladder match, and then tag royale. This royale finished strongly though with the final 4; John Silver, Fénix, PAC and Jungle Boy. Four absolutely over stars brawling out in mini-matches that left fans salivating for more, after Silver and PAC were eliminated Fénix and JB put on an absolute treat of a finale, which ended with Fénix getting the win for Death Triangle to face the Bucks.

Best - Silver earns Sting's respect with a Dislocated Shoulder John Silver was voted by Dark Order to take Darby Allin's open challenge for the TNT title - offered because it was the anniversary of Brodie's debut. Silver vs Allin became a great match, made even more impressive since Silver dislocated his shoulder early in the match and kept going. While Silver couldn't bring the title home to the Dark Order, he got a show of respect from Sting - which in turn would lead to the Dark Order coming to Darby and Sting's aid at times.

Best - Maki Itoh breaks America Fans of TJPW or twitter's tdegifs were very familiar with the charismatic foul-mouthed hard-headed former idol Maki Itoh, and seeing her in the Women's Eliminator tournament paid dividends despite her first round elimination. Itoh's popularity skyrocketed, she had an It factor which pissed off Jim Cornette for extra adulation, and come Revolution's Buy-In, Maki Itoh had arrived in Jacksonville for one of the biggest pops of the night. Itoh proved charming and entertaining even though she was aligned with the heels, to the point where she even main evented the inaugural Elevation against Riho. Sadly Itoh would have to return to Japan and unsuccessfully challenge for Rika Tatsumi's TJPW Princess of Princess Championship (her tag partner/former longstanding rival/sauce boss/Pink Striker Miyu Yamashita would however win), have her twitter hacked and set up a new division of her faction 'Saitama Itoh Respect Army 2021' with Yuki Kamifuku and Marika Kobashi, but she had made her mark and then some, the world was a simp for Maki Itoh, and she allowed it because she needed the monies.

Best - Rosa/Baker break the ceiling Itoh vs Riho wasn't the only cross-promotional women's main event AEW gave us, because 2 days later on St. Patrick's Day Smash, Britt Baker and Thunder Rosa's unsanctioned match would deliver on one of the highest rated matches in modern women's wrestling. A bloody and fantastic affair instantly rose Baker and Rosa's stakes in a fitting end to their rivalry, but one that also didn't cost Baker any standing because it technically 'didn't count'. It remains to this day AEW's best match in the women's division.

April 2021 Best - Miro ditches Kip After months of hanging with Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford, Miro had become fed up with Superbad. The acceptance against his wishes to fight the Arcade Anarchy proved the last straw as Miro set his focus on capturing any and every title within his reach, with or without Kip. After a few weeks of not seeing Sabian, Miro attacked him, writing Sabian out of action with a legitimate wrist injury while Ford was dealing with an allergic reaction to her eyelashes, with Kip gone Miro could finally be who we were waiting for: at freaking last.

Worst - Interference finishes beget questions of Faction Bloat Although not as bad as WWE, many matches on AEW seemed to end one way or another with factions fighting one another, clean finish or not. This did of course grind on fans and cause questions to arise that perhaps there are too many factions in AEW, they have a point, though easily fixable without splitting any factions up.

Best - Bucks descend to heeldom Don Callis had been a thorn in the Bucks' side for a while, but his words had got in their head, they were indeed the most successful when they were cocky assholes. Although they did save Moxley from being swarmed one time, the six-man tag proved too much for them: they didn't want to see the feral Moxley take out their old and storied friend and so they chose Kenny over morality. No longer annoyed by Callis, the Bucks became absolute shiteating heels again, which benefits the climate of the tag division.

Best - Jade is elevated by being sought out While Jade Cargill would only sporadically appear for squashes, AEW have done well to slow burn her star power by having managers try to get her as a client. It's simple storytelling but effective, because people want Jade it means that Jade is desirable and that makes her more important as a talent.

Best - Baker DeManDs her title shot Because the Unsanctioned Match 'didn't count' Britt Baker had carried the acclaim of that match even in defeat. Baker had stopped dossing around too, legitimately rising up the ranks to the Number 1 spot like a looming shadow to have her crack at Shida's title. It could've been easy to give her a shot by virtue of her performance but AEW did it right - and gave Tay Conti her shot in the process - which made Baker much more valued in her title hunt.

Best - Cage upsets the Hangman At the Number 1 Spot, Hangman Page looked like he was on course to fight Kenny Omega, but when asked about this prospect Page dodged the subject entirely. The thought though would weigh on his mind in his match against Cage, where he was practically squashed in an upset fashion, it was a surprising plot twist and delays Page's clash with Kenny while also adds to Cage's reputation.

May 2021 Best - Varsity Blonds add some Hart The Varsity Blonds had done well considering that they started as being an undercard pair-up and grew into a talented young combo homaging Brian Pillman and Steve Austin's team of the Hollywood Blonds. But adding Nightmare Factory upstart Julia Hart just added the missing piece for the blonds, as a trio they look the part, and their rise feels earned as they put on a great showing against the Bucks.

Worst - QT loses to Cody after all that Cody's Ace Problem had transitioned to the point where QT Marshall was picked to turn on him next, collecting a small portion of the Nightmare Factory who felt that the students were secondary to Cody's ego. When it came to the exhibition Cody won by DQ, but got assaulted by the Factory, so when they had a proper match we had a choice: elevate this new faction or have their leader lose, guess which they chose? QT tapped out to the Figure Four and Cody prevailed.

Best - SCU put it on the line For several months, SCU had put a challenge on themselves that if they lost in tag competition (not singles or battle royales) they would split up. It had worked well because they were undefeated since, but being at the top of the rankings with a heel Young Bucks signalled the inevitable clash between the two teams. The question would be could the Bucks really end the team they welcomed to AEW on Day 1, their friends, the first World Tag Champions of their company, and the answer was yes. A bloodied affair of near falls and the Bucks hamming up any emotional bonds they once had led to a fantastic match that has put a tragic end to SCU.

Worst - SCU's embrace is cut short But immediately after that we cut to Mox and Eddie trashing their locker room. AEW would return to show SCU's final embrace but a 'previously on' is not as effective as seeing it when the wound is fresh, it was the end of a partnership that had spanned a decade, all the way back to Fortune, Bad Influence and then The Addiction, it deserved the time to linger.

Best - Blood and Guts! Last year it was planned that the Elite would face the Inner Circle in a WarGames-esque match called Blood and Guts. But COVID had prevented this, so we changed to Stadium Stampede. With the Inner Circle feuding with the newfly formed Pinnacle, AEW made the right call in bringing Blood and Guts back a year later to clash the two factions against one another. And it truly did live up to its names, a brutish match which cemented the Pinnacle as one of AEW's top factions.

Worst - Blood and Guts (nor Stadium Stampede II) doesn't finish the feud Big gimmick matches like these should be feud enders, but AEW wanted to put the two factions at odds again. With the threat of disbanding, the Inner Circle got a rematch for Double or Nothing for Stadium Stampede and while it wasn't bad fans did feel that the feud should've ended at Blood and Guts. In addition, Stadium Stampede wouldn't even finish their beef as they look to divide into 3 mini-feuds again.

Best - Miro crushes Darby Without Kip, Miro was a monster and he immediately went for gold. A perfect usurper for Darby Allin's TNT title reign, Miro destroyed the fearless and near-indestructible daredevil - who was protected from the squash because Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky had thrown him down some stairs last week - his look over to Sting as they both accepted that they were likely losing this match was a great moment between Miro's destructive force. And as TNT champion Miro is great, his thanking of God for various things are both charming and hilarious but he also manages to pair it with psychotic menace, long may the Best Man reign.

Worst - Cody's American Dream wins over Ogogo's valid points After submitting QT in his match, Cody's celebrations were cut off by Anthony Ogogo, the Olympic Bronze Medallist and former Boxer in QT's Factory, who KO'd Cody and covered him with the UK flag. A feud with Ogogo could've been the saving face moment for the Factory but instead Cody opted to zone in on the flag thing. Painting Ogogo as the 'Anti-American Foreign Heel' did not sit well for anyone who wasn't an uber-American 'Patriot' since the concept was heavily outdated, in addition Ogogo was making real valid points about why he disliked America: pointing out the gross flaws in the country's healthcare system and Cody would reply with how his pregnant wife and unborn daughter were black, choking up his words to garner sympathy. This all falls flat given how Ogogo is also black and never once implied that Cody was a racist. With the chance to put over the Factory with a charismatic young competitor, Cody instead decided to win without even using a finisher - because it was Memorial Day Weekend and America always wins, at this point the Factory remain pretty tainted now since Cody has beaten every member he's faced (and Dustin beat the other one). Saying things worked out on 'Focus Groups' didn't help Cody's defense as to why the feud went the way it did either, it was an outdated narrative with a result that all but screws over the Factory.

Best - The Forbidden Door opens again While none have risen the heights of KENTA's shocking arrival, the Forbidden Door did remain open for some more appearances from NJPW's personnel. Yuji Nagata made a big return to TNT to fight Moxley for the IWGP US Championship but also Ren Narita and Rocky Romero made appearances, the latter having a mini Roppongi Vice reunion with Trent. AEW had also extended the forbidden door to DDT with Konosuke Takeshita impressing on AEW's first house show and on Elevation, and recently a Joker Card appearance for Lio Rush.

Best - Shida gets recognized, and a revamped title After a year of holding the AEW Women's Championship Hikaru Shida had been the subject of criticism from neckbeards acting like she was the 'female Brock Lesnar'. Some were annoyed that Shida's title reign had lasted so long and were blind to the fact that this was clearly intended so Baker could win in front of a crowd. The Dynamite before Double or Nothing though AEW did right by recognizing Shida's work ethic and title reign and by presenting her with a new and larger Women's Championship. While people may complain that they could've unveiled this new title at the PPV I felt it was right to at least let Shida enter the PPV with this title considering how long she had held the Women's Division down. Some poor builds aside, Shida had carried the division with strong matches and worked behind the scenes as well for improving the division, as well as producing the Women's Eliminator Tournament. In this house we do not disrespect Hikaru Shida.

Best - Double or Nothing 2021 And we end on the crescendo, and what a crescendo. The full-time return of fans were graced with an excellently feel-good PPV - aside from Cody beating Ogogo - which had all the competitors perform at a high level. Starting hot, giving Jungle Boy a big unexpected win, Mark Henry debuting and topping it off with Stadium Stampede signed off a big and entertaining year for AEW and closing off with the returning crowd chanting Judas: masterful chef kiss level idea.

The aftermath of DoN while mentioned will probably not be touched on next year because damn were these posts long, but at the very least I did it for WWE and AEW as I said I would. Let's hope that both companies can rise to higher heights and avoid lower lows in the next year when we retread these ppvs again.

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rammaukins · 3 years

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Shara - The New Latexdoll

IMPORTANTE NOTE: Everything that appears here, in this story, only exists in my mind, anything that resembles reality is coincidence or fortuitous. . . ( hopefully there will be many of these 🤩, or not, who knows 😭 )

Damn! Where is the Zipper? - Movimento 1

( My gratitude to KunKlo , for his great job of correcting my English and expressions. )

Part 1

On an ordinary Friday afternoon, Shara, a clerk working as a secretary in an advertising company, was strolling around looking at the shop windows of the stores in the commercial district. Like every last Friday of the month, she had put on comfortable clothes that were easy to take off, so that she could easily give in to the temptation to try on a new dress or some other garment and maybe buy it. But what was typical of this day after getting her paycheck, was that today she was going to treat herself to a new pair of high heels.

She was addicted to heels, she had renovated her house to make a dressing room in which half of the space was just for her shoes. And she had her shoes sorted by day of the week, by heel height, by whether she wanted to be more or less comfortable. She had set aside a special place for her most expensive shoes and also her favourites for creating an impression. From that dressing room, without any friend or acquaintance of hers knowing, she had made a few videos for YouTube that she knew would appeal to lovers of heels and fetish fashion. Always avoiding showing her face or any detail that would make someone recognize her.

Today was one of those days when she hoped to be able to buy some shoes that were not run of the mill, that were extravagant, impossible looking, with which she would surely get more followers and thereby improve her earnings. And if she could also find some clothes to impress, so much the better. She even looked in costume shops for porcelain Venetian type masks, not minding if they were made of plastic. If she could further cajole her followers by letting herself be seen completely and still maintaining her anonymity, that would be great.

She wandered the streets of the shopping district, looking into the windows, hoping to see something that would catch her eye. Shara today was also hoping to find something nice to wear this weekend, to get really sexy and seduce again someone she already had in mind. For a moment while she was looking at a lingerie shop, she remembered how that person was running his hands over her skin. Those manly, strong hands, that knew so very well how to excite her body.

Shara walked down several streets, perusing all the shops for possible purchases. She had made a mental note of some of the clothes she had seen and which shops they were in. With the clothes she had some choices, but for now, she couldn't find what she had truly come for. After going into five shoe stores, she couldn't find a pair of shoes that were out of the ordinary. There were sandals of all kinds, shoes of all shapes, heels of all sizes. There were several models, that if you could combine them and create a single pair. . . she would have something worthy to use in her videos. But so, Shara was forced to keep looking, getting a little frustrated.

As she was about to return home, a shop caught her eye. She had never noticed that narrow alleyway in the cyberpunk clothing shopping district, where each shop was more outlandish than the last. If it weren't for the neon lights on the sign, “Your Sin”, she wouldn't have noticed that shop at all. It wasn't the first time she'd been in a sex shop, but it wasn't something she was in the habit of doing. At the moment she was entering, another client was coming out and he gave her a tremendous fright. He was the typical person who didn't care about the opinions of others, dressed in leather clothes, with his chest covered by a torn fishnet t-shirt and, for a man, made up too much, like. . . whatever urban movement he belonged to.

Shara stood watching the man leave, when the shop owner greeted her and invited her in. With some embarrassment she looked back and forth, in case there was another customer, but apart from the shop owner, there was no one else in the store. She took a deep breath and relaxed, and began to feel more comfortable knowing she was on her own. It wasn't her first time in a sex shop, but she didn't feel comfortable buying intimate things in person, preferring the internet. She always felt uncomfortable, when she felt someone's gaze upon her, thinking she knew what they were thinking about her when they bought something. For this reason, she never showed her face in the videos.

Now more relaxed, she began to look at the products on display, and the first thing that caught her eye, was a complicated corset, underbust, with a strap connecting to a collar that was the same shape as the corset. On the collar it said in dark gold letters "Sex Toy". Shara was impressed by the outfit upon closer inspection. Both the corset part and the necklace part had the same design, except for the detail that the neck corset had that characteristic witch's necklace design. Not very high, but high enough to cover the head from behind and limit the view from the sides. It looked like something out of a bad eighties epic-erotic fantasy witch movie, but with a careful and elegant design.

"With that you could charm any man right under your heels." - Shara suddenly heard behind her.

The young woman who was attending the shop, after seeing Shara, noticed right away that she was not a regular shopper in these types of establishments. So she had said that phrase to her, to get her mind focused on something that wasn't so embarrassing, and it seemed to work. Shara relaxed a little more and didn't look around herself so much. She noticed the amazing, shiny, pale pink latex Cheongsam dress with black lotus floral embroidery that the shopkeeper was wearing. She was also wearing a corset-like belt, much like the one Shara had been looking at, but without a collar. The whole outfit was very provocative, giving her a sensual and chic figure.

"Hi. I just wanted to introduce myself, honey. I am called Beky. I can see you're more of an online shopper, so I think I'll leave you a little bit to your own devices to familiarize yourself with the store." - said the shop owner, trying not to scare her.

"Look, down this aisle you'll find some cute outfits, toys are over there, leather clothes here and accessories and bondage items over there. High heels and stripper shoes are here and at the end of that aisle, you can find the most fetish like and the craziest shoes. Let me know when you find something that interests you." - Beky said, pointing down several aisles.

That last bit of information made Shara forget what she was currently looking at. She said thank you and went straight for the shoes. Her inner slutty self had always wanted a pair of stripper shoes to surprise a visitor. She already had more or less a picture in her mind of what she wanted. But when she reached the shoe rack she was overwhelmed by the sheer variety of rare shoes and boots on display. They were mostly available in black, white, red and transparent. The lowest heel was three inches and no platform. There were shoes with thin heels, wide heels, shaped figures, pony-boots and some that immediately caught her attention, the ballet-heels.

They were shaped like ballet shoes, but made of patent leather, on the instep there was a transparent sheet and two straps that crossed in "x" form , another one with a buckle that crossed the instep, and then a much wider strap on the ankle, whose closure had two small rings, to lock it with a small padlock.

"I love them." - she said to herself, marveling at the design and at the same time she was so excited to have found what she was looking for.

Shara had heard of them, and also, she had read comments coming from some of her fans. But until now she had had no interest, mostly because the ones she had seen as an example in a link, sent by one of her followers, was a rather horrendous design. But that pair was anything but hideous, she examined the shoe more closely and there was no doubt that whoever wore that pair of shoes would have to tiptoe like a ballet dancer. That shoe had caught her attention, they were perfect, with an elegant finish, just what she was looking for and she had to have them.

She picked them up and looked for the size of the shoe, and when she looked at the label, it wasn't her size. But then she saw something that further crushed her plan. To her big disappointment, right next to the size of the shoe, was the price of that shoe. It was totally out of her reach. With some annoyance she looked at the rest of the ballet-heels there. And she found some pink booties, vintage design. Shara took a closer look at the boot and the price seemed more reasonable than the shoe.

"It's not as pretty as the other one. . . but it will do." - She said to herself hoping it would have the effect she was looking for.

With the ballet-heels in hand she walked back to the checkout counter where the owner was taking a call. There was an open box next to her, while she was holding up a flesh-colored, see-through latex suit. As Shara waited for the girl to end the call, she couldn't help but overhear her talking about a "LatexDoll" model latex costume from something called "WomanDoll" that she had received. But only one had been delivered and she had ordered ten.

Shara visually examined the box the clerk had on the table. There were two things that caught her attention, right at the bottom of the box it said: "Designed to attract attention and not let anyone recognize you." Then Shara's gaze went to the top of the box, and that slogan captivated her: "Become your own Sex LatexDoll".

to be continued...

tumblr: Shara - The New Latexdoll (Part2) >>

DeviantArt: Shara - The New Latexdoll (part2) >>

Story by Rammaukin

Correction by KunKlo.

If you 😍 it, click on 💗, and we appreciate your comments 👍 , also the criticisms 🤬, although it may and is very likely that, we do not pay attention to them 🧘.

#digital art #tights #corruption #boots #cute girls #digitalilustration #rammaukin #story #part1 #solofeme

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cecilspeaks · 4 years

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164 - The Faceless Old Woman (Live)

[applause]

Jeffrey Cranor: I’m really excited, we wrote this script recently coming up in this last performance for tonight. And I got real excited for writing it, cause we haven’t written like a, to do a live show full length in a new voice. And it was a lot of fun to do.

Joseph Fink: Yeah so tonight we are presenting the first Welcome to Night Vale show that is entirely from the point of view of someone who is not Cecil, this is the time when the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home gets to step out from her secret.. place in your home. [laughter] And tell you a little bit about herself.

Jeffrey: One of my favorite things about writing the Faceless Old Woman stuff is cause the way Joseph and I work is that we’ll write episodes or write parts of episodes and pass it to the other and that person will, sometimes have questions but oftentimes just maybe like add something to it. So a lot of times it’s either, when I get stuff back from Joseph and I dunno if he feels the same way getting stuff back form me, with the Faceless Old Woman script it was always either something really hilarious for something really upsetting. [laughter] And I really love that a lot.

Joseph: This is maybe the most upsetting thing we’ve ever written, I hope you guys enjoy it. [laughter]

Jeffrey: Have fun, good night! [applause]

Joseph: I guess we should start that show we talked about.

Jeffrey: Let’s do it. You guys, let’s welcome to the stage your friend and ours, Mara Wilson!

[applause] [long silence]

Mara Wilson: I am the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. Hello. You don’t know me, but I know you. I know you very well. I’ve been going through your medicine cabinet. You take too much Advil. Do you realize how hard that is on your digestion? I know a couple gelcaps and a glass of water before bed can alleviate a morning hangover, but it also puts you in a bad mood, because you don’t get good sleep with all that extra stress you put on your guts. You know what’s a better hangover cure? Not drinking like it’s the last day of community college. I replaced your vodka with clear Windex, and your Advil with Ipecac. This won’t help your hangovers, but it certainly will be more entertaining for me. I don’t sleep, so I need better late night entertainment than Netflix. I’ve already watched every episode of “Money Heist” and “Criminal Man” and “Planet documentary”, I have to spice it up a little bit.

Which reminds me, sorry about the tarantula incident last week. And here I’m speaking specifically to you, Tony. Yes you, in the shirt. The one hoping I’m not talking about you. I’m not sorry you woke up with a tarantula covering your face, nor that it bit you, causing your eyelids to swell up like Kinder eggs filled with purulent discharge instead of toys. I am sorry that I forgot to turn the flash off of my camera, which alarmed both you and the spider, and I never got a good photo. I’ve been building up my portfolio for an art exhibit I call “Gross Things on a Sleeping Tony”. It’s going up June 1, exclusively in your living room. I’ve already gotten “Open-mouthed Centipede Bouquet” framed. You’re gonna find this show absolutely terrific. Wait no, not terrific, what’s the word? Terrifying.

Tony, you’re one of my favorites in Night Vale. I know you hate your direct marketing job selling high interest credit cards to twenty-somethings, but the benefits are great. You have health care, a 401k, and you get to take advantage of people less fortunate than you. Everything is its own reward. But I’ve read your poetry, you love poetry. To be fair, there isn’t a big job market for poets, but you need to explore what makes you happy. I tattooed one of my favorite lines of poetry on you last month. It’s by Mary Oliver. “Instructions for living a life. Close your eyes. Be scared. Good luck.” And then I drew a little butterfly next to the words. I’m not the best artists, though, so it kind of looks like a radish or a sarcoma. Doesn’t matter, you still haven’t noticed. It’s just right below your right shoulder blade, don’t try to find it now, it’s still healing and given that I used the metal rod from that fondue set in your closet as the needle, it’s possible it’s infected. Better to leave it alone.

Tony, look at me. Imagine where my eyes would be. You have a lot to work through. I’m here to help you, I really am. I’ll prove it by giving you some advice. If a venomous arthropod is on your face, don’t scream.

Anyway, it’s not you Tony who’s bothering me, it’s the new people. They are elderly, like me, and they just moved into a house in the center of Night Vale. Or maybe this is decades from now, time is a little hazy for me. I’ve never been in this house nor noticed it before they moved in. it’s a one bedroom and there are three of them. I thought polyamory, but they have three separate beds and they never speak to each other, rarely look at each other, and never leave the home. The first night I secretly lived in their home, I realized they never slept either. They brushed their teeth, put on pajamas and get into bed. But they all lie there, eyes open, through silent hours of darkness.

I tried whispering to them but got no response. Usually when I reveal myself in the dark, I get the thrill of witnessing horror dawn across a person’s distorted mouth and bulging eyes as they see my faceless face pressed up against their own. One of the best parts of visiting new residents. But not these three. For once, I’m the frightened one.

Speaking of frightening, did you get your taxes (-) [0:08:20] on time Alex? You, you’re Alex. You with the shoes. I had to file for an extension. I don’t owe any money because I have no income, but I’m over 200 years old, never got a social security number, have no permanent address and I wasn’t born in this country, it’s a lot of paperwork. And Alex, you know your Wi-Fi is terrible and I was having a hard time downloading the forms I needed, so I just wrote my name on some yellowish-black Boston lettuce you’ve left in the crisper for the last three weeks. But the leaves kept falling apart, I think more like melting. After about 20 minutes, I got frustrated and just made myself a salad. Also, I used the last of your parmesan cheese, but don’t worry, I replaced it with dried skin I’ve been collecting from your bed sheets. Don’t be grossed out, Alex. Same texture and nutritional value, you won’t know the difference. I got the idea from a Food Network’s “Beat Bobby Flay”, where this one winner tied up Bobby and ran a (micro-) [0:09:17] across his forehead to make a chimichurri sauce.

I love that show, but I’m a bigger fan of HGTV’s “House Hunters”, the desert dystopian version. That’s where I met you, Addie. Yes you, with the face. You were shopping for a new home here in Night Vale. You told the realtor - who was inside of a living deer, its belly horrifically distended and quivering with every one of the agent’s words and gesticulation – that you wanted three bedrooms, a back yard, and something close to an outdoor community space. The first home, the yard was not in good shape, lots of (- remains) [0:09:55] and the lawn was glowing, perhaps from underground radiation testing. It was well under your budget, but you would have had to spend your savings on fixing it up. Also, in the bathroom mirror you saw, crawling across the ceiling, a faceless old woman devouring what looked like a rat. You didn’t need to worry about a rat infestation, Addie. It was a chipmunk. The second home was a condo right in the heart of the arts district. You loved the design: a simple large black cube, no doors, no windows, no interior. A true closed floor plan, so popular these days. But you weren’t sure there was enough room for entertaining, or anything else at all. The house you selected was perfect. Three bedrooms, a Jacuzzi en suite, and a large patio backyard. Plus it was right in the middle of town next to a community dog park. Although you would be disappointed later to learn that your dog had been arrested for domestic espionage after peeing inside the park’s forbidden walls. I think you made the right choice, Addie, but I can’t help wondering every time I watch “House Hunters”, who is this person running away from? You left Queens to move to Night Vale. Queens is where your family lives, where your best friend lives, and your girlfriend of two years. Are you afraid of stasis, Addie? Of being loved, of commitment? You might be afraid of that pinkish ooze coming out of your ear, might wanna see an ENT about that. Or if not an ENT, an entomologist.

Speaking of putting woodboring beetles inside orifices, I tried a similar thing with the elderly room mates who recently moved to town, or will move to town many years from now, again time is strange to me. But these room mates are also so strange. When I went to put a beetle into one of their ears, I noticed a lot of scar tissue there, making the hole too small. In my haste, the beetle scurried away and I got kind of desperate and just made a bunch of spooky moans and hisses like this: [moans, hisses] but not one of the three responded to me. They continued their meaningless pantomime of sleeping, and in the morning they got up and each went quietly about their days. One of them made coffee, but did not drink it. They then went to the window and waved at their neighbor, Susan Willman, who was on her porch stretching before her morning run. Susan looked at the figure in the window next to her and froze. She stared in terror, then darted back into her home and locked the door. Susan has always been unfriendly. I ran her bed sheets through her office shredder as a reminder to be more open and loving toward the world.

The other two room mates climbed into the shower at the same time. I’m not one to get off on others’ sexual activities, I just thought I might see something new, something human here. But no, they stood side by side, cleaning their cold gravity-defeated bodies, not once looking at each other let alone speaking. A squelch and a squish and grey water falling around yellow toenails. They toweled off, but when they hung the towels up, those towels were completely dry.

I’m used to being the one who does inexplicable and disturbing things. Last year during the community players’ production of “Romeo and Juliet”, I decided it would be more fun if they used actual poison. But it was a last minute idea, so the only poison I could find was Borax. Which just gave the two kids playing the leads several unhappy hours in the bathroom on the night after the show ended, so I don’t know. I could have made a stronger directorial choice. But so could the actual director, I get that Shakespeare plays are long, but he cut out all the best parts like the train robbery, and also Tybalt winning his bowling league. Although I did appreciate that they left in Juliet’s famous line: “Good night, good night, your blood and guts and marrow, which worms shall eat inside your grave so narrow.” It’s a classic story. Kids these days just don’t try to fake their own deaths anymore.

Oh. And Morgan. Yes Morgan, I’m talking to you, you with the fingernail sand the teeth. I need to explain something to you. You tip 20 per cent. You can afford it, stop using it as a measure of how much you approve of the restaurant service. A 20 per cent tip is not bonus, it’s a fee. Restaurant owners don’t pay their staffs, instead they make the diners pay their employees through this idiotic notion of capitalist meritocracy. I don’t care how bad the service, tip them. You have money, Morgan. I would also tell you to stop asking to speak to a manager every time your Long Island Ice Tea is a bit like, but I got out your tongue last month, so they wouldn’t understand you anymore anyway. Do you know what a cut human tongue tastes like, Morgan? Yes you do. You just don’t know that you do. Remember Applebee’s last week? You ordered soup. It was a beef base with little onions and little perfectly sautéed flecks of your own tongue that you had used to lash out at a manager the last time you ate there. You could blame them for poorly expediting your orders, but really the onus is on you for going to Applebee’s. Which serves neither of the items its name promises. It’s false advertising. It’s like an egg cream soda, or Taco Bell.

Speaking of eating, the elderly room mates made lunch together, but not for each other. They were all in the kitchen at the same time making separate meals in silence. They sat around the dining room table together and ate. They carved and stabbed and pushed foods quickly into their mouths, but their eyes were empty. One of them began to spit out their food. No one seemed to care or notice. They all began to vomit, but not with muscular heaves of shoulders and necks, the vomit spurted out like water from a hand pump, their torsos and heads perfectly still. After each bodily rejection of food, they would start shoveling it back to their mouths, repeating the same process. Eventually one of them stood up and threw their plate into the kitchen window, glass bursting everywhere. That person leaned into the hole and began punching the jagged shards out with their clenched fists as blood poured out of their forearms and wrists. They screamed mournfully into the suburban street. Neighbors and passers-by passed only briefly, as if they had barely heard the sad howls spreading across the valley. Susan’s lemon tree next door died instantly and all the lemons fell with wet plops to the ground. The fruit pealed open and inside of each was a fleshy crimson pulp, like meat that has been ground for too long. The other two room mates kept eating and vomiting, not even noticing the shattered glass being subsumed by the growing pool of blood on the floor.

You know, I wasn’t always like this, faceless or old. Secretly living anywhere. Once I was born upon warm water. The smell I remember is sharp citrus and the peppery sting of grass. The salt funk of ocean. I was once a child. I grieved once. I smelled blood. Once I was a thief. I lived among thieves, I saw empires rise and fall, centuries cast themselves upon infinity as fruitlessly as waves upon cliffs. Once I was a recluse. I lived amongst bandits and farmers, I spoke a different language then. I’ve spoken many languages.

Once I was under the sea. That was a quiet time. I lived amongst the coral and dead-eyed fish. Once I was a wanderer. I’ve seen the (head) [0:18:14] waters of the Mississippi and I’ve seen the cobbled streets of Paris and I’ve seen the empty arches of Franchia. But I’ve never seen anything like those three room mates. Of all the things I've been – child, thief, recluse, wandered, faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, I’ll tell you this: I’ve never been more scared.

Fear is in the unknowing and the mystery. Fear is seeing everything about an old woman except her face. Fear is the uncertainty of her secretly living in your home. Fear is not the spider you see on the wall. It’s the spider you no longer see on the wall when you look back again.

In the unnerving din of shattered glass and mournful howls of that house, I found the loose thread that unraveled this mystery. The room mate who screamed had no tongue. And one of the others had an ear swollen shut from a previous surgery. And the other had a red mark, like a radish or sarcoma adorned with poetry drawn upon their shoulder blade. I realized I knew these three strange room mates. They are you, Tony, the special tattoo I gave you. And they are you, Addie, with your oral scar tissue from the beetle I jammed in there. And you, Morgan, with your tongue removed and digested. The three of you do not exactly live together in that home, not at the same time. You are living three different lifetimes in that same space. You do not speak or respond, because you are dead. Each of you alone in that house together, or you will be, time is confusing for me. Decades from now after you die, your souls will be trapped in the house, because something in this world is unresolved for you. You know this, paranormal neuroscience is required for all high school freshmen. But what they don’t teach you is how to resolve it. I know how and when each one of you die. I wrote it down on the back pages of your journals. Iv’e done this for everybody, but nobody ever reads it, because while people always think they’ll write every day, after a few pages they fall off the wagon and never see the lsat pages of their journals. Except Jonathan Franzen. He didn’t seem bothered by what he read. But he did cross out all my adverbs and added some Oxford commas. In case you’re wondering how Jonathan Franzen dies, here’s the answer: he doesn’t.

I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. You might find this ambiguous, after all the word “home” is singular. So whose home is it that I secretly live in? Listen, some things in this tangled world are simple. I live in your home, and your home, and your home, I live in all of your homes simultaneously. I am many. [echo] I am many. I am one. [echo] I am one. You all live such different lives, teeming, that’s what you are: teeming. And I am there watching you.

You, Tony, you dream of being a poet. Resolve the unresolved. The worst that can happen is crushing disappointment and public mockery, and eviction when you can’t pay your rent. Many more awful things after that, get to it!

And you, Addie, you fled your previous city to escape a murder charge. Strangely, you didn’t commit the murder you were charged with, but you have committed murder. Weird choice to go on “House Hunters” as a wanted fugitive, but maybe it was a good first step to healing your soul.

And you, Morgan. You have an idea that could save us all, an epic defining idea, one of the greats, but you don’t know which one. You have so many ideas. I can tell you this: most of them are not important. One of them is vitally important. Good luck. Also, tip 20 per cent.

And you, I forgot your name, you tweet too much. We all tweet too much, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. That’s why I ate your phone. You can thank me later. You can all thank me later. Because you all will be seeing me soon. I think that tonight is the night to let slip my secret. You’ll soon see me fumbling wet and gray from out of the bathroom mirror, or folded up strangely loose skin and mashed bones in the bottom drawer of your dresser. Or you will see me scuttle on your walls, the hair hanging down from my faceless face. Or you will look out your kitchen window and there will be someone standing in your driveway, and it will be me, and there will be no one in the driveway and instead, I will be next to you in the kitchen. Faceless and so very very old. Won’t that be nice?

I’m the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. And your home. And your home. And every home. And I will be seeing you very, very soon.

[music, applause]

Today’s proverb: Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the title page instead.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #episode 164 #the faceless old woman #the faceless old woman live #finally #thanks for your patience #there might be more mistakes bc there were many big words

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