#mostly because i just don’t care enough about wwx to bother with it

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think most of my wwx opinions are unpopular outside of my little patch in this fandom, but i genuinely do believe that post-canon wwx and jc are just better off being out of each other’s lives as much as possible, crossing paths only out of necessity for jin ling.

sometimes when the wounds cut deeply enough, even if none of those wounds were inflicted intentionally or maliciously, it doesn’t matter how much you loved your family member, how much you sacrificed for them, or how much they sacrificed for you. your presence in each other’s lives just aggravates those injuries and prevents them from healing, and maybe the kindest thing you can do for each other is to just leave each other alone.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Cultivated-to-Immortality post-canon where cultivation in modern day is mostly mysterious and many doubt it's real - and then WWX gets a cooking show...

“I’m going to murder him,” Jiang Cheng said blankly.

He wasn’t even angry or frustrated or any of the things he normally was when he said something like that. That would require actually reacting to -

What he just saw.

With his own eyes.

For real.

“You can’t do that,” Nie Huaisang said from where he was curled into a tiny little ball on their on-the-verge-of-breaking-down couch – modern things were really crap. The thing couldn’t be older than what, thirty or forty years, and it was already useless, and Nie Huaisang wasn’t helping matters by crying tears of laughter into the worn-out cushions like he was right now. “He’s immortal, remember? We’re all immortal.”

“Immortal in the sense that we won’t die of old age,” Jiang Cheng said. “I can still kill him.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jiang Cheng admitted. He was pretty sure they’d established that back in Wei Wuxian’s first life, forget his subsequent resurrection or when they all unexpectedly achieved immortality. “But I could definitely break his legs. He’d heal from that quick enough.”

“The day you break his legs will be the same day you do it to Jin Ling,” Nie Huaisang said wisely. “And I know you wouldn’t do that to our beloved junior squad.”

“You really need to stop calling them juniors, they’re all married with children and grandchildren a half-dozen times over already, and anyway stop getting away from the main point, which is this – this – this travesty.”

“It’s not a travesty,” Nie Huaisang said, pretending towards solemnity. Jiang Cheng didn’t know why he bothered, it wasn’t like they hadn’t spent centuries together by now on account of immortality being a little lonely and them not liking anyone else who’d reached immortality enough to want to spend that sort of time with them. “It’s a cooking show.”

“It can be a cooking show and a travesty! It’s a cooking show run by Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng growled. His stomach hurt just remembering the many times he’d been suckered into trying something because this time I’ve really got it down, I promise, you’ll like it! “Of course it’s a travesty. Did you see the set up he has going on? He has an entire wall of hot peppers!”

“Hmm, good point,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’re right. Something needs to be done about this.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

“I’ll send him some peppers from our garden,” Nie Huaisang decided. “I have that new varietal breed that we’ve been working on, extra hot; he’ll love it.”

“Don’t you dare send him the Zidian pepper without letting me try it first,” Jiang Cheng said pointedly. “It’s mine. He only gets leftovers once I’ve decided it’s complete. Anyway, are you telling me that you don’t think that this - this - this thing is a disgrace?”

They both looked at the screen, where the words ‘CHEF CULTIVATOR’ had appeared in large letters.

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “I rather like the conceit of it – the mysterious food-obsessed Chairman kidnapping the heirs of the various cultivation clans...it’s all very historically accurate, at least?”

“One, Wen Ruohan wasn’t a Chairman, he was a tyrannical warlord who made all our lives absolutely miserable. Two, if that set is supposed to be the Nightless City, why is it so dark, and what’s with all the lava everywhere? I’m not even going to touch on the rock chair thing that no cultivator who values the state of their ass would ever sit on -”

“I don’t know about that,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at their shitty couch with a exaggerated thoughtful look.

Jiang Cheng ignored him. He didn’t want to go couch-shopping again. It’d only been a few decades!

“And three,” he said, soldiering on, “I feel the need to point out that the cultivation clans were not named ‘Spicy’, ‘Barbecue’, ‘Vegetarian’, and ‘Expensive Fusion’.”

“But he’s got the coloring right and everything! And it’s really funny to see a chef outfit done up in that awful Jin gold color...”

Jiang Cheng put his head in his hands.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nie Huaisang said, completely unable to resist bursting out in occasional bouts of giggling. “This is exactly like the time the Wen sect forced all of us to attend their indoctrination camp. Exactly like! You’re just misremembering.”

“I’m pretty sure that I’d remember being forced to compete in some sort of absurd cooking competition with mystery ingredients.”

“Would’ve been nice if we had.” At Jiang Cheng’s incredulous expression, Nie Huaisang shrugged. “Better than listening to Wen Chao talk, no?”

“…well, yes,” Jiang Cheng admitted. “Still, the whole thing seems a bit much. Cultivation is now state-regulated - by which we mean mostly banned from public knowledge - and our sects are all shrouded in mystery...this does seem to lower the tone a bit.”

“Like you care about tone.”

Jiang Cheng, who’d declared that he’d stopped giving a fuck sometime around the eleventh century, had to concede that.

“How’d he get the whole thing approved by the government?” he asked instead. “I thought they censored anything to do with modern-day cultivation.”

“I don’t think they’re that concerned about him spilling actual cultivation secrets on his cooking show.”

Jiang Cheng huffed, not wanting to admit that Nie Huaisang had a point. At any rate, the commercials were over and the show was continuing; he had better things to do than listen to Nie Huaisang talk, like watch the television.

After a few moments, his face began to turn purple.

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said, and buried his face back into the pillows. “Oh no. Oh no.”

“I cannot believe him,” Jiang Cheng said. “I can’t – he can’t –”

“Now, now,” Nie Huaisang said between laughter so hard that he was hiccupping. “Be nice. If Wei Wuxian is the despotic Chef Cultivator and - oh this is terrible - Grandmaster of Demonic Cooking, that is on the hunt for a chef worthy of being his successor by forcing teams to challenge his stable of in-house chefs, it only makes sense that the ‘challenger’ team would be protected by the – by the –”

Jiang Cheng closed his eyes. “Lightly-Braised Lord?”

“That!”

“I would say that I can’t believe Hanguang-jun agreed to this, except he hasn’t said ‘no’ to Wei Wuxian in centuries,” Jiang Cheng said bitterly. There was a reason he refused to live with them. “This is a disgrace.”

“Accurate, though!” Nie Huaisang said, grinning. “That’s a very mild flavor of cooking, very appropriate for Lan Wangji.”

“I think you mean tasteless.”

“I mean, Lan Wangji is that, too, at least when it comes to Wei-xiong”

Jiang Cheng couldn’t exactly say that that was wrong.

They continued watching.

“Oh no,” Nie Huaisang said a few moments later. “The Ghost Pepper General. Poor Wen Ning!”

“It doesn’t fit,” Jiang Cheng said with a sniff. “He has no flavor profile.”

Maybe he was getting more into this than he would be willing to admit.

...he wasn’t going to admit it out loud anyway.

Nie Huaisang sniggered. “I hope Wei-xiong isn’t the judge.”

Jiang Cheng stared at the screen. “I still can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“I love it,” Nie Huaisang said. He was now scrolling on his phone. “The internet agrees with me, apparently. It’s a hit!”

“It figures.”

Their phones gave a chime at the same time, indicating a message on their group chat.

“Huh,” Nie Huaisang said. “That was the notable Chef Cultivator himself.”

“Oh, I bet it was,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, making no move to reach for his own phone. “What does he want? To apologize?”

“No, to offer us walk-on roles in the event he gets renewed for a second season.”

“Absolutely not,” Jiang Cheng said at once. “I refuse to be known as the Sandwich Shengshou or whatever he comes up with.”

Nie Huaisang dissolved into giggles. “Oh no. He would, too!...I wonder what I’d be?”

Jiang Cheng huffed. “You’d be – the Saltshaker. Obviously.”

“Oh noooooooo…”

[crossdressingdeath]

that post about wwx being a bad parent because evil scary mood swings just reads to me as ableist tbh. we see TWO examples of wwx getting mad in front of a-yuan (which is? a thing parents do sometimes?? and clearly hasn't stopped a-yuan from feeling happy and safe around wwx??) but because wwx is Unstable he's like a danger to small children i guess. yzy and jc can fly into a rage at the kids in their care and it's fine but oh no don't let the scawwy traumatized man raise his voice! the horror!

That’s a good point, actually. Also I think maybe I’ve seen the post now and it was something like “Oh Sizhui still does his best to defuse tense situations and also when he was a kid he put his hand on WWX’s leg to calm him down, clearly he was ~deeply impacted~ by WWX’s ~lack of control~” and it’s like... or maybe he just doesn’t like conflict! Maybe he’s just a genuinely good person who wants to help keep the peace! Maybe when he was a little kid he saw that his parental/big brother figure was upset and wanted to comfort him! Little kids do do that, you know! They don’t have to be ~traumatized~ (by getting yelled at one time) to do it! “LWJ forces him to intercede with his petty refusal to speak to the man who murdered the love of his life and is now being a dick vow of silence!” Or maybe as head disciple it’s Sizhui’s job to speak for his seniors in situations like this! Maybe CQL’s Sizhui is a grown man who is willing to do this thing for someone he clearly respects and loves very much!

But more importantly... yeah, acting like WWX’s ~issues~ had a serious effect on Sizhui’s development when there’s no actual evidence of that beyond him preferring to defuse tense situations before they boil over into outright conflict (which isn’t proof, if anything I’d say it’s proof of LXC having a role in his upbringing; you know, LXC who’s famous for doing his best to defuse situations and who is also Sizhui’s uncle who probably played a major role in raising and teaching him while LWJ was in seclusion?) does feel just a little ableist. Which I hope wasn’t deliberate, but it does have that sort of like... “looking at a kid whose parent has some sort of mental health issue and actively searching for something wrong with them that you can blame on their parent” vibe. You have to really reach to say “Sizhui’s gentle nature and dislike of conflict is a result of WWX losing his cool in front of him like one time during a period Sizhui doesn’t even remember for most of canon” (frankly even the insistence that Sizhui playing mediator is somehow unhealthy when this meta seems to draw mostly from CQL where Sizhui is a grown man and certainly old enough to have decided he wants to emulate his uncle bothers me quite a bit), and that sort of reach aimed at a character who clearly is having some mental health issues seems... maybe not outright malicious, but certainly a bit tone deaf. WWX (and LWJ, because the post complained about him having issues too) does everything he can to raise Sizhui to the best of his ability under the circumstances, and saying him losing his temper twice (and only once actually at Sizhui, and then only for like two seconds) scarred Sizhui for life when most parents yell at their kids way more often than that is, frankly, an insult to him as a character.

[somuchnonsense]

“Flufftober” Drabbles 5-9

The sarcasm quotes are there because I’m using the Flufftober prompt list but some of these are definitely not fluff. Drabbles 1-4 here.

5. Sweet    (canon Xue Yang gen)

In a better world, someone saw a young Xue Yang starving on the streets and gave him food, steamed buns to fill his stomach and all the sweets he could want to finish off his meal. Someone saw a little boy, scared and alone with nowhere to go, and brought him home, gave him a place to live where he could be safe and in good company. Someone saw a child who had never learned how to love and showed him that he could be loved and wanted, and that he could love in return instead of hurting.

In this world, a young man who suffered and made others suffer far worse than he ever did, a man whose chance at redemption arrived far too late, dies with a spoiled candy clenched in his fist.

6. Pillows    (pre-canon WWX gen)

When Wei Wuxian was orphaned and alone on the streets, he mostly wished for food enough to fill his belly or a house to keep him warm on cold winter nights. Sometimes, he saw children walking with their parents and longed for the love and security of a mother and father to watch over him. He only just barely remembered having that himself, but he pined for it all the same.

What he never thought about on those nights sleeping outside, cold and hungry and alone, what he never realized he was missing until he came to live in Lotus Pier was pillows, or the softness of a well-padded bed or a thick, warm blanket. Jiang Cheng, sleeping across the room from him, takes that comfort for granted, but for Wei Wuxian, it’s the height of luxury to curl up on this cozy bed in a warm, clean room and not have to want for anything. He can scarcely believe his luck, to be plucked off the streets and brought to this, and he can scarcely believe that he’ll get to keep it, but he’ll enjoy it for all he’s worth while it lasts.

Wei Wuxian never forgets—and it serves him well in later years—how to live with discomfort, how to sleep anywhere and eat whatever he can find, how to be alone and push through fear. But he also never forgets to enjoy the good things in life: a comfortable bed, a well-cooked meal, strong and delicious wine, and the precious company of those he loves.

7. A First Time    (post-canon Wangxian feelings)

“Stop.” Lan Wangji’s voice is quiet, calm, and firm.

“Stop what?” Wei Wuxian laughs, but a little nervously, unsure what he’s done to bother his husband.

“Stop talking that way,” Lan Wangji elaborates, which clarifies nothing to Wei Wuxian.

“What way? Too many hand gestures?” Wei Wuxian waves his hands around exaggeratedly.

“Stop blaming yourself for other people’s actions. Stop talking as though it’s your responsibility to save the world and your failure if you don’t.” Lan Wangji’s voice is still quiet, but earnest and sure of what he’s saying.

Wei Wuxian’s laugh is significantly more awkward now. “Lan Zhan, I wasn’t…” Lan Wangji’s eyes fix on him, seeing right through all the walls he has up, and Wei Wuxian gives up on trying to deny it. He doesn’t know what to say instead, so they lapse into silence.

Lan Wangji comes to stand in front of him, his gaze even more piercing up close. “You are enough,” he says. “More than enough.”

Wei Wuxian is so incredibly uncomfortable and so overwhelmed with love that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s wanted to hear those words, on some subconscious level, for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean he can handle actually hearing them. “Lan Zhan, you can’t just…”

“I can.” There’s a softness to Lan Wangji’s expression now, almost a smile, and Wei Wuxian hides his face in Lan Wangji’s shoulder because it’s all just too much for him. Lan Wangji says nothing, only wraps his arms securely around him, and that, Wei Wuxian thinks, is enough.

8. Laughter    (post-canon Wangxian)

Lan Wangji never laughs outright, but Wei Wuxian has learned to read the signs: the little twinkles in his eyes or the crinkles at their corners, the most marginal upturn of his lips that tells him Lan Wangji is amused by something—often at Wei Wuxian’s expense.

It always makes him smile when he sees it, even when Lan Wangji is laughing at him. He never could have imagined, once upon a time, that he'd be able to recognize so much emotion in Lan Wangji's inexpressive face, let alone that he'd see Lan Wangji fondly laughing at him. It makes him happier than he can explain, makes him want to be extra silly or even embarrass himself on purpose just to get that kind of reaction from Lan Wangji. And it makes him feel very lucky that he’s gotten to know Lan Wangji well enough to understand him in a way so few people do, and that he gets to have Lan Wangji by his side, happily looking (and laughing) at him.

9. Rain    (CQL canon Wangxian)

Lan Wangji’s umbrella protects him from the cold rain, but he feels as though it’s pounding down onto him anyway as he stands before Wei Wuxian and the Wen prisoners on their horses. Wei Wuxian’s words hit him as hard as any rain and chill him as surely as if he were soaked through.

They both want to protect others and do what’s right. They both knew, or should have known, that imprisoning and killing the defenseless remnants of the Wen Sect was wrong. But only Wei Wuxian out of all the cultivators in the major and minor sects is willing to stand against it now, not caring what it means for him.

For all their teachings about right and wrong, the Lan Sect has been willing to stand by and let innocents die—and Lan Wangji has been too. How much are all their lofty morals worth if they can justify treating small children and weary old grandmothers as the enemy? How can it be right to condemn Wei Wuxian, who is only trying to help when no one else will?

It sends a far deeper chill into Lan Wangji’s bones when Wei Wuxian offers to fight him—when he says, in essence, that he will accept being killed by Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian is rebelling against the cultivation world, but he will still accept Lan Wangji’s judgment. It seems that he’s saying, on some level, that if Lan Wangji believes he’s in the wrong, it must be true, a level of trust that Lan Wangji had no idea he had earned from Wei Wuxian.

His uncle would tell him that Wei Wuxian deserves to die. “Do not befriend the evil,” the Lan Sect rules say. But Wei Wuxian is looking at him with such determination and such trust, and Lan Wangji can’t accept that he’s evil, or that what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t bring himself to help, but he can step back to let Wei Wuxian and the others past, and he can hope that they’ll be safe.

As Lan Wangji is left alone, dropping his umbrella to let the rain fall on him at last, he wishes that he could be as brave as Wei Wuxian, as certain that what he’s doing is right and as determined to do it. He also realizes, with a shock even colder than the rain, what he already knew in his heart: that he could never kill Wei Wuxian, no matter what he does. But he can’t keep him either, and so he can only stand there in the dark, alone, long after Wei Wuxian is gone.

[restingdomface]

Since I’m just as obsessed with yarn craft (making it and dyeing it and using it) as I am with fandom, I just feel that y’all should know, in every modern AU I make where Lan Wangji has bunnies, they’re all angora and he raises them for not only being precious, but also he steals their wool. I’m making an AU where it’s a 3zun sorta fic (they all technically live separately with their houses next to each other in a triangle and knocked down their fences so they would have one massive garden) and LWJ was obsessed with bunnies when he was little but Lan Xichen really liked to knit so he was all ‘hey, let’s get angora rabbits’ and now Lan Qiren spins their fiber into yarn and when LWJ is like 9, Wei Wuxian shows up cause the Jiang’s bought the lakehouse across the street from them and so now they show up for holidays and school breaks and LWJ got an instant crush on him and crocheted him a beanie because WWX has never seen snow before (y’all this bitch out here while it’s snowing in shorts and a tee shirt LWJ is afraid he’s gonna DIE) and WWX falls in love instantly and it’s cute. Also WWX is trans. And Meng Yao raises Mo Xuanyu and later on Rusong (not his kid, Qin Su showed up saying she couldn’t handle getting rid of it but she couldn’t keep it either so MY was all ‘okay, I’ll take it’ and that’s that) and later on after WWX gives birth to A-Yuan (yeah I went there, deal with it, it was an accident tho, WWX is told he should get rid of it cause he’s too young for being pregnant but he’s all ‘nope, going through with it, then I’m getting those parts removed’ cause oooof) LXC suddenly gets surprise custody of their little cousin 6month old Lan Jingyi and he’s all ‘Ahh shit’ and so there’s like. So many toddlers running around the garden at all times. Jin Zixuan meets Jiang Yanli when he’s visiting one day and she’s over having tea with LXC while they watch the kids roll around like a bunch of idiots in the garden and it’s cute. They like each other. Jiang Cheng gets sick when he’s around sixteen and ends up getting an organ transplant (or maybe bone marrow? I was looking up transplant stuff but apparently if you get a donated kidney you’re only expected to live another 20 years at most before you need another transplant??? IF you can get another??? And liver would be much more rare I guess for a 16 year old. But if he had some sort of cancer or a disease involving bone marrow transplant as a treatment, it could work) and WWX is the one that gives the transplant. Why??? Because you need some angst in somewhere and tbh I kinda want 16 year olds JC and WWX to spend a while in the lakehouse doing homeschooling (with LWJ because LQR homeschools him cause of his fear of crowds and Jiang Fengmian was all ‘hey, can you just... teach them for a year?? They’re too tired to cause much trouble anyways and they can’t go to school and hanging out with LWJ night cheer them up) and Nie Huaisang takes that as permission to get homeschooled for a year (Nie Mingjue originally refused him because he was a little shit and wouldn’t stop bothering him when he didn’t have people to chat with all day but now he’ll have JC and WWX to chat with) and now LQR is stuck with them all for a year before JC and WWX go back to their hometown school. It’s long enough for LWJ and WWX to start a budding romance and for JC to realize that he thinks relationships are nasty and kissing is gross. Actually, they probably just stay there till they’re all graduated because why the heck not. Yanli is dating JZX and uses that as an excuse to visit him often (well, she’s also spoiling baby bro’s, but if she can get some flirting in while it’s happening, why not) and YZY and JFM tend to travel a lot so they don’t see an issue with them all staying there while they can. It’s been helpful to WWX cause there’s still some issues with bullying back in their hometown (and in a town where not everyone sees him as the ‘weird tomboy girl who thinks she’s a boy’ here, he gets into less fights) and this has been really helpful.

I wanted to make the worlds longest paragraph ever but tumblr said no. So anyways. JC is still in recovery for a while so it’s best at the Lakehouse instead of a city, and he can chill out on the porch in the warmer months and get cozy inside next to the fireplace with a million blankets and hot cocoa when it’s cold out. He’s. So. Cozy. Also JFM got him a service cat because WWX still can’t be near dogs. He wishes his bro could get a dog and feels bad about it, but tbh they keep forgetting that for all JC would like a dog, he’s basically a slut for any cute animal ever. He hangs out in the 3zun garden across the street a lot. NHS has like 15 birds and NMJ has like four cats (who are Not allowed in the atrium lol) and LWJ has all those rabbits and MY has like a million kids and those are basically wild animals so they count. (Seriously tho family members keep dropping kids off with 3zun and not coming back for them but??? It’s okay??? Cause they’re all ‘single’ -not living together- gay men and so none of them can get on an adoption list for shit anyways. Lol so many kiddos running around.) LQR is ready to murder WWX by the time the kiddos all graduate and he’s all ‘oh thank god now I don’t have to see him all the time’ but then WWX shows up at the house one day (him and LWJ have been dating for like a year and a half now) and he’s all ‘hey. I’m. Pregnant.’ And LQR is all ‘...ahhhh shit now I gotta deal with him even more’ and it’s. Amazing.

WWX pretty much moves in with them after that (WWX is all ‘we can get an apartment or something’ and 3zun is all ‘sure, okay’ but then always find a way to distract them cause they’re all ‘yeah, we like our space’ but then they’re all ‘if a single sibling/child of ours moves out we’ll get instant empty-nest syndrome and die’ and so they’re like. Really possessive over their kiddos. LQR is mostly there cause he’s the only adult that bothered to stay in LXC and LWJ’s lives when they were growing up and he’s great.

A year after A-Yuan is born, they get Lan Jingyi (he gets dropped off with LXC and just never picked up again wild) and then Jin Ling is born (and he gets dropped on Meng Yao a lot cause JZX has watched him with kids before and knows his brother genuinely loves babies) and then Qin Su (their half sibling) shows up one day all ‘hey, so, I’m pregnant and I’m not keeping it but it’s too late to get rid of, you like kids, you want one?’ And MY is all ‘...yes...’ and she stays with them till little Rusong is born and then heads off to live her life and MY gets the joy of taking care of an infant that he hasn’t gotten to experience since MXY was little which was like 13 years ago. Lol MXY isn’t all that enthused with his new baby bro but Baba says he’ll get less ugly when he’s older and stops looking like a potato. MXY does NOT agree that he once looked like a potato himself, how dare you, Baba!

They have a greenhouse and LXC is definitely growing pot in it.

[omnipah]

Okay so. Since I brought it up before and also @campanulaflora​ has been Encouraging me I’m gonna go ahead and yell about The Communication Of It All cus. it’s good.

So like. obviously this is another one of those things that develops over time cus when ur nd and communicate in ways people consider annoying or nonstandard, it’s gonna take some learning even if u are Also nd. But this is why it’s so cool to me that wwx is actively trying to understand, and of course it goes both ways, though it takes lwj a while to notice that that’s what wwx is actually doing and trust that it’s sincere, but it ends up being the foundation of their relationship. Like, wwx consistently shows affection by infodumping or just bothering people, cus his love language is primarily about giving attention, while lwj is the kind of person who’s like. if he thinks ur cool he’ll just. be near u until he doesn’t want to any more. And by the time the timeskip happens, both of them have kind of learned to adopt each others’ love languages (like, lwj finding things he think wwx would like is his way of showing attention, and I think the way they play music together is another way of just Spending Time together that doesn’t leave wwx unfocused and fidgety), while also accepting that even if they express it differently, that’s the intent behind it.

But there’s something very sweet and earnest about seeing the two of them be a bit abrasive and make communication mistakes in the beginning, cus its pretty clear that there’s no like. nd network for either of them to pull understanding from, and all their later understanding is based on that very active intent to empathise and meet each other in the middle.

And like. a decent amount of the flashback stuff is also pretty good communication-wise, the exception mostly being whenever they talk about their own feelings about each other. When they’re actually doing something together, there’s an implicit understanding of how to function as a unit, because they have the previous experience to tell them that they’re working towards the same goal and they understand each others’ strengths and weaknesses, while also presumably being just. very good at reading each others’ body language. And when they’re talking about political stuff, they’re both pretty clear and well-spoken. The only time when it starts to break down is when wwx is being deliberately obtuse to push lwj away, which is both a misguided attempt to keep him safe and an expression of his fear that lwj doesn’t actually approve of him the way he’d started to let himself think he did.

Like, as far as I can tell, 90% of their communication issues stem from wwx being in a bad mental place and misinterpreting lwj because lwj doesn’t use his words, and normally lwj can trust that he’ll be understood by wwx, which is why he doesn’t really seem to know how to handle it when wwx starts like. projecting. That’s another thing tho, that he seems to have picked up on after the fact, cus all the times he sees that wwx needs unambiguous validation or clarity post-timeskip, he makes sure to use words when he probably wouldn’t have before. And that confirmation is part of what allows wwx to see his other gestures of affection as they’re intended, cus lwj making the effort to speak his language gives context for the larger pattern of behaviour.

Both of them do seem to just. decide to understand each other at some point, though, presumably cus it matters to them that their second chance doesn’t go to waste – the second time round, there’s no hesitation or shying away from vulnerability, and they both pay active attention to each other. Like it’s very cute and funny that they’re always staring at each other and/or gently clinging, but I think there is an extra layer there that they just. really really don’t want to miss something important that the other is expressing.

Which brings us to. the expressions. Cus lwj is such an excellent case-study in how autistics can be incredibly expressive, but completely ignored because their methods of communication are things people aren’t used to paying attention to. And like, we, the audience, are encouraged to understand him, cus the camera’s always on him when we need to notice that he’s reacting to something, and how, and it always shows us his reactions on his terms, which is usually a matter of where he holds tension or whether he’s relaxed. But it’s easy to see how someone who doesn’t care enough to pay attention, like jc, or someone who’s actively interpreting in bad faith, like su she, would miss those things if they didn’t bother to learn that those were significant to him.

Like. I get soft over lwj’s microexpressions as much as the next guy, but those are very much a part of a bigger picture. A lot of how he expresses himself is through his actions, which is most obvious when it’s something like just moving out of the way when he doesn’t want to be touched, but with him it’s also about potentially months-long patterns of behaviour, like how he consistently chooses to be around people he likes and avoid people he doesn’t. And there’s that delightful meta post about his speech patterns as well, which is super interesting for other reasons as well obvs, but also very much works as an in-depth analysis of how he’s clearly autistic, cus what it comes down to is that he’s super formal (i.e scripted), well-spoken and has a good vocabulary, while also being essentially semi-verbal, especially when he’s stressed. And like, combining that with the fact that he doesn’t move his face unless he has something specific and probably relatively extreme to communicate, he doesn’t make eye contact, and has suuuper strong morals, it’s. Very Very easy to see how someone who already doesn’t like him would use that to call him rude, or stubborn, or arrogant, and other people who are more neutral might just. decide he’s too much effort to get to know properly. Which is why wwx is so special to him, cus he not only made an effort (despite his own insecurities and unacknowledged nd needs) but he also helped lsz to understand how to get to know him in the same way.

And wwx kind of has the same problem for the opposite reason, cus his face is so mobile and he uses so many words, that people often miss the subtleties of like. what comes up a lot for him, or what he’s doing while he says stuff, or even just why he does or says the things he does. Like, in the same way as with people assuming lwj is arrogant because he prefers to observe and listen before expressing himself, people often say the exact same thing of wwx because he’s ‘too’ quick to express himself, especially when it’s a moral thing; people are always accusing him of virtue signalling or whatever instead of genuinely believing what he’s doing is right. I think, again, the fact that wwx spends so much time around lwj, combined with the fact that lwj cares enough to learn what he’s about, means he often sees a side of wwx that people don’t tend to, and he learns to read between the lines of what he’s saying. There is also the fact that wwx just kinda seems to be a pretty good actor, and generally knows how to make people overlook the things he doesn’t want them to see, so it takes some trial and error before lwj realises how unhealthily selfless he is, among other things.

[meny-sempai]

MO DAO ZU SHI IS A MASTERPIECE – part 04

Hey guys!

First of all:

How is it possible that there are only 19 votes for this? Jeez…

This week’s newsflash!

Quote from the novel:

“Every day when Wei Wuxian was free, he played with the toddler Wen Yuan, son of Wen Qing’s cousin. He either let him hang on trees or buried him in the ground, fooling him that he’d grow faster if he was watered and bathed in sunlight… Turning around, though, he realized that Wen Yuan was gone. He almost turned pale, searching for the toddler all along the streets. Suddenly, he heard the wails of a child, and he immediately rushed over…

…

Wei WuXian, “Do you want one?”

Wen Yuan thought that he was going to buy one for him. He spoke embarrassedly, “Yeah.”

Yet, Wei WuXian walked in the opposite direction, “Haha, let’s go.”” (ch74)

Wei Wuxian, my son, you are so adorably horrible at parenting. Do keep it up. AND. If you think I’m not gonna use this in my favour, you’re wrong:

“Wei WuXian laughed madly, “Hahahahaha! Lan Zhan, congratulations! He’s taken a liking to you! He hugs the leg of whoever he likes, and he never lets go.”” (ch74)

“Jiang Cheng didn’t know when, but a child about one or two years old crept over and hugged his leg. Raising his chubby chin, he looked up at him with his dark, round eyes.” (ch73)

My boy JC = instant like. The children know.

Aaand that’s a wrap, see you guys next time!

… You wish. Let’s get started!

Before I begin I’ll just repeat this for the new readers:

I’m not a native English speaker so please bear with the mistakes I’m bound to make. I did read the novel, but only as far as the Exiled Rebels Scanlations translated it (thank you Rebels, you’re gods). I know a lot of spoilers, but I can’t say I know the whole story – If I start theorising be aware that I’m just theorising, I’m not actually telling the plot, but, just to be sure: SPOILERS ahead, I will use the facts I know for my analysis.

In this short series I’ll talk about the episodes, but I’ll also have long monologs about a certain topic.

EPISODE 07 – or, man I hate the Wens but I LOVE that theme music of theirs

… Has anyone ever told you the story about the boy who cried wolf?

And half of the fandom just died in the most satisfying death. I love how he just took a glance at the tables and was like: Nope, I’m not having any of this shit. And I’ll be theatrical and dramatic about it for all to see.

Remember what I said in one of my posts about the clans - how they don’t seem to be willing to play as a team and mostly watch their own? I think there’s a lot of truth in this and I suppose this is one of the reasons why the Wens grew so much in power. Nie sect obviously has a grudge against the Wens and wants to act on it. Now that Nie Mingjue is old enough he could do it. In theory. But without the assistance of other sects it would be suicidal. Was that why the Wens left Nie Mingjue and his brother alive after they killed their father? Did they know the other sects wouldn’t be willing to lift their fingers for the Nie? We can assume they didn’t react to the murder of Nie Mingjue’s father, so why would they help the Nie in revenge?

From my POV and understanding this advice of Lan Qiren should be pissing the hell out of Nie Mingjue. He is telling him to suck it up. Yes, for the sake of his clan, but also, because any kind of mess like this is endangering the other sects. Other sects chose to keep to themselves, so the advice is also: You do this, man - you’re alone.

On the other hand, this sentence can be also seen as how Lan Qiren himself feels. We saw him being enraged by the Wen clan because they let the Waterbound Abyss in their territory. But he can’t voice out his dissatisfaction, because he himself is sucking it up for his sect. If we see it that way, he’s basically saying: Even if we both riot it would be a suicide (Because, you see that yellow prick behind you? He’s not gonna help us and he’s the richest of us all. Jiangs are playing friends with them, they want to be family. We can’t count on any other help.)

And Lan Qiren is right. Nothing happened after Cloud Recesses was vandalized.

I don’t think the four big sects trust each other very much. The Wen sect actually brought them all together with all the shit they did. But teaming up happened mostly because the young ones took over.

I don’t even think they like each other. Which is kinda expected – they are all very different - their origin, mentality, temper, code, cultivation method. It’s actually funny how the Gusu Lan and the Nie are showing the first signs of teaming up since they are completely different in everything.

Instant confirmation to both Nie Mingjue and Lan Qiren. If you are understanding the scene like I described it, this guy laughing after what Lan Qiren said gets a whole new meaning. UGH. I don’t know why, but I really like the sound of his voice. Ugh…

And now we get the Jiang’s POV. The leader of the Jiang doesn’t care about the sitting arrangements (about the current situation of the sects). For him, the way things are, everything is already settled and can’t be changed in the present situation. What he cares about is THE FUTURE. Who will come after Wen Ruohan? Considering we know how deeply Jiangs value their family we can assume Jiang Fengmian is only thinking of how all of this will affect his children. Especially the future leader of Jiang.

What if? Jiang Fengmian always talks about the clan’s moto, he cherishes the “attempt the impossible”. But he himself is a very mild mannered man who doesn’t seem to have accomplished anything “amazing” in his years. And the way he acts could be seen as “weak” – he “accepts” the Wen sect, he “accepts” the wife’s anger, he “accepts” the marriage, he “accepts” the betrayal of his servant and friend. He is actually… very similar to Jiang Cheng.

What if the reason he’s being so strict and emotionless towards his son is because, in his way, he’s trying to make his son a better man than himself. Attempt the impossible/be like Wei Wuxian – don’t be like me. The future is bleak, and as a leader, you, my son, my heir, you can’t be like me.

Once again, MDZS makes a fabulous scene out of nothing.

Not at all.

My god, I love the dialog in this. Also, remember what I rambled about Wen Xu? Could this also be a hint? Did the sect leaders maybe hope to see him there? Instead, they got an untalented punk – worse than his father.

I’m sorry, for some reason I always laugh like an idiot during this exchange. I don’t know what it is that makes this scene so hilarious to me. Please, someone explain it to me.

He’s so precious!

Ah… JC, we meet again. I’ll talk about this moment down below. Just, remember it.

*squealing from love and insufferable pain*

JC: “Let’s split into two groups, then gather at the exit later.”

WWX: “Hey, where the hell are you leading me to?” (smiling)

JC: “Stop complaining! Just follow me.” BAM

WWX: “How about we go back the way we came? Rest assured. I definitely won’t tell anyone.” (teasing)

JC: “Just shut up, will you!” BAM

WWX: “Ahahahaha! Jiang Cheng.”

JC: “What now?”

WWX: “Look.”

I laughed my ass off the first two times I watched this. The third time… I noticed something.

Jiang Cheng takes the lead the moment the archery tournament starts, as an heir should. He gives out orders and goes into “follow me” mode. He has a path in mind, this strange and hard path looks right to him. He has a gut feeling he’s right in his decisions and he follows his gut. Wei Wuxian questions the plan like any of us would if someone started to drag us through “tight spots” for no reason. He questions him but he follows him nevertheless. I don’t think he even questions him for real, I think he’s just having fun watching his brother plays leader. And that’s one of the problems. Jiang Cheng is not playing. He’s trying to prove himself. This is his chance. So, when Wei Wuxian pokes fun at him he snaps like he usually does, but this time there is also an injury. Their conversation and Wei Wuxian’s comments hurt. Hence the head bumps. You can clearly see the change in Jiang Cheng’s expression after the first bump. He’s not so decisive anymore. He actually looks sad as if he’s starting to question his decisions too. But he can’t back down now so he just keeps going. And the smart-ass Wei Wuxian knows his brother too well. From his next comment we can see that he figured out what is bothering Jiang Cheng and as any decent sibling he pokes at it. Of course, Wei Wuxian doesn’t mean any harm, he’s just playing like the brothers always do. JC says some harsh things to Wei Wuxian too, it’s all part of being siblings. Sure, Wei Wuxian makes comments, but he still follows. He’s not even truly questioning anything, he’s annoying, but he completely trusts JC’s lead. He never thought of leaving his side, not even during “tight spots”.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get hurt because of what Wei Wuxian says, he knows Wei Wuxian is probably the only one who doesn’t and won’t ever mean any of it. And that’s the biggest problem. Jiang Cheng believes in Wei Wuxian, he believes in WWX’s love for him, he trusts Wei Wuxian, but he doesn’t trust others. When someone says similar things that Wei Wuxian would jokingly say to him, Jiang Cheng can’t ignore it. Why? Because the same things have been said to him by the people who should love you the most. When your mother is always attacking your brother and saying you’re a fool to love him, when she is constantly dissatisfied with you and even says things like:

“You really are an idiot. I’ve told you long ago that you’ll never in your whole life be able to surpass the one sitting beside you. Not over cultivation, not over night-hunting, even over shooting kites, you can’t surpass him! … Your mom tells you countless times not to fool around with him, yet you’re still defending him. Just how did I give birth to a son like you?!” (ch51)

When your father never acknowledges you, when your parents are fighting because you’re not good enough, how do you feel? Wouldn’t any kind of comment affect you? Wouldn’t hearing that you’re worse at archery than some guy who missed the whole target hurt you? (But, they’re fighting because of Wei Wuxian and his mom, not because of JC.) Sure. But, would that be such a big problem if Jiang Cheng was as good as Wei Wuxian? If he was as good, wouldn’t that make his mother as good as the other woman? Wouldn’t that make his father love them equally? Besides, what child doesn’t think it’s his fault their parents “don’t love each other”?

“Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

At that time, Wei WuXian didn’t know what Jiang Cheng was mad about at all. After a pause, he replied, “I didn’t steal anything. It’s Uncle Jiang who told me to sleep with you.”

Hearing that he was still bringing up his father, almost as if he was purposely showing off, Jiang Cheng’s eyes reddened as he yelled, “Go away! If I see you again, I’ll call a bunch of dogs to bite you!””(ch71)

This scene ripped my heart to shreds. Poor WWX, so confused and scared. Poor JC. Yes, this, THIS is jealousy. A full blown toxic jealousy attack, but there is also a lot to be read between the lines. Why is he exploding like this out of the blue? He was ready to forgive the fact that they’ve taken his only friends away from him. He was ready to share the room with the person for whom he had to give up his dogs. So why? He’s a child and he’s jealous, but is that really it? You know, seeing your father hugging someone should not be a trigger. It’s not normal to compare yourself just because of that. There has to be more, more unspoken reasons why someone would instantly compare oneself with someone. JC is someone who puts up with a lot of shit without saying anything – such people tend to explode for “no reason”. Realizing he’s been hugged only five times is the last straw.

When a very young child is unsure of whether his father loves him – you, as a parent, are doing something wrong. When a child is so afraid that his mistakes will make his father not like him even more – you have a very insecure child. An insecure child/person has a very low opinion of himself.

“Looking at Wei WuXian’s legs, Jiang Cheng’s face was full of nervousness. If any other disciple or servant learned about this and told Jiang FengMian, after Jiang FengMian knew how he threw Wei WuXian’s sheets out and made him hurt his leg, Jiang FengMian would definitely dislike him even more. This was also why he only dared chase after them alone and didn’t get anyone else.

Seeing how worried he seemed, Wei WuXian took the initiative, “Relax. I won’t tell Uncle Jiang. I only hurt myself because I suddenly wanted to climb a tree last night.”

Hearing this, Jiang Cheng sighed in relief. He swore, “You can relax as well. Anytime I see a dog, I’ll chase it away for you!”” (ch71)

I do believe this was the beginning of the ultimate trust. Also, after his jealousy attack, JC immediately realized what he did and felt bad. Yes, he was afraid of his father, but I do not believe for a second that that has any significance in his love for Wei Wuxian.

“Jiang YanLi put Wei Wuxian onto her back and began to walk back, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, and so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him. You ran out here and didn’t go back for a long time. I came to find you only because he’s worried that something happened to you and went to wake me up.””(ch71)

I love A Li, I’ll talk about her more later. She’s a great sister, but she does sometimes unintentionally do things that are unfair to Jiang Cheng (don’t attack me, wait for the next post for the elaboration). In this particular scene she was amazing. She didn’t get mad at JC (out of all the people he trusted her to bring back Wei Wuxian and don’t tell father about his mistake – that’s love). She carried them both (which is a nice contrast to Jiang Fengmian who carried only Wei Wuxian in the scene before). She tended to JC’s wounds from falling into the pit and encouraged him to say sorry. She. Was. Great.

But, let’s address one more thing. What does she mean by JC not having a good temper? What kind of a bad temper can a child have to not be able to have friends? Older JC is stiff and grumpy, but he does have friends in his sect and other people want to be his friends (Nie Huaisang for example).When you doubt your own worth, you can’t trust people to like you. Being around people can be hard. Being around dogs that have unconditional love for you can be very easy. It’s pleasant. I think Princess, Jasmine, and Love were healing his soul (like dogs often do) and taking them away was way more tragic from JC’s POV than it seems. No wonder he was wailing.

It’s funny how Wei Wuxian is afraid of dogs, but has so much unconditional love in him for his family.

I’ll talk about Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng more – the juicy episodes are coming. I’ll just say this: I really admire both of them. It would have been so damn easy for those two to hate each other’s guts, but they just don’t. And, yes, I don’t know the whole story, but right now, I believe JC never truly hated WWX, not even after everything.

Anyway.

Back to the scene from the donghua.

So, JC bumps his head and we laugh because it’s funny. If you are overthinking, like I am whenever JC appears on the screen, then you might see the head bumps as a metaphor for the comments JC has to live with. There’s one more way we can take this scene. Let’s say this is some form of foreshadowing. JC becomes the leader. Through thick and thin he leads and WWX follows him. JC’s decisions are not always the best, but the one who gets hurt by those decisions is him. Let’s go further and say the first bump is Shijie’s death.

Wei Wuxian: “How about we go back the way we came?”

I don’t know how it happens, but JC most certainly refuses to go back to how things were, he can’t go back. Even if you see honest hurt on his face, he continues and his leadership and decisions hurt him again. The death of Wei Wuxian. Even after this, JC continues on and in the end he reaches his destination. He was right all along, the path did lead to their goal (feral ghosts in this particular scene), but when he’s finally reached his goal he doesn’t see it. Not until Wei Wuxian points it out. When JC lost all of his family (Wei Wuxian in particular) he lost his focus. The goal became invisible because it had no worth anymore.

The two heroes of Yunmeng Jiang – Jiang Cheng needs Wei Wuxian in order to be himself and show his best.

I can’t wait for more chapters of the novel to analyse all of this and have a full picture of their relationship.

I know, ladies… Aahh… I know.

Well, you are extremely striking, Wei Wuxian, I’ll give you that. You’re so damn pretty here, my son.

One starts, the other one finishes. Both in their own ways. I just remembered this quote from the novel while re-watching:

“The two knew how to continue each other’s words ever since they were young. Now, one sentence after another, the argument flowed seamlessly…” (ch62)

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CRY WOLF! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! Calm down, Lan Zhan, breathe, my child brea-

HOLY FUCK! Down, Lan Zhan, stay down, remember the code! Remember, you’re a good boy, the best bo-

OK. OK, yeah, let it out. That’s healthy. Just… yeah. O.O (You better not piss off this dude. Fear the quiet ones, FEAR THEM.)

How can you be so smart, yet so stupid? XD Seriously, did you or did you not copy the damn rules for a month??? But, yeah, poor Lan Zhan, and poor Wei Wuxian – he is honestly confused. He wasn’t given a moment to properly apologize and he clearly wanted to. These two… they’ll be the death of me. Btw, the whole ribbon thing is so interesting, such a nice detail to the world building. But! I do admit that you most likely wouldn’t know about it if you follow only the animation. They should have made it more obvious. Unless. They did it like this on purpose, only to reveal it in the next season, which is also cool.

He feels so bad. TT_TT Don’t make that face at him, Lan Zhan, he’s a gentle soul. He doesn’t look like it, but he is.

Exactly. We won. Love is strong in JC. And look at those dorks. Precious. These moments are truly the blessing that we got from the animation. For me at least, it made me care about those guys even though I can’t remember their names. Those two nameless purple boys were the ones who made me drop my first tear in ep 11. These small things are so important. This is how you write a scene. 

Envious much? I get you, though.

EPISODE 08 – or, where have all these bitches come from???

Diminutive - used to express the fact that something is small, often either to show affection or to suggest that something or someone is not important: Adding diminutive suffixes is often a disparaging tactic. MDZS has this fascinating ability to tell and show without actually spending too much time to tell and show.

Once again, such an imaginative way to progress the scenes.

“The cultivation clans kept silent in indignation (after the fall of many clans), only to share their resentments secretly. In the same year Wen Ruohan commanded his eldest son, Wen Xu, to aggressively intrude and burn down the Cloud Recesses.”

Ah, Wen Xu, I had so much faith in you. But, at least you didn’t burn everything and killed everyone like Wen Chao did. And defying your father/leader is a no-no. Eh, dunno, I wish we had more on him.

Don’t touch my baby! *animalistic growling*

That was really… cruel. But, I already talked about it. I want to say another thing here. I think the main reason why Wei Wuxian immediately jumped to the chance to go with Jiang Cheng is because Jiang Cheng will be safer with him than alone (I think Jiang Fengmian knows this too). Wei Wuxian is very protective of his shidi, he always saves him from (physical) danger. Man, I really love the Jiang siblings.

This is a nice parallel to that one moment when Wei Wuxain absorbed resentful energy in the earlier episode. The core melting must hurt as hell. Since I know almost all of the Jiang family lost their cores in similar fashion I get so pissed whenever I see The core melting hand (I don’t care for his name, he doesn’t deserve to have a name, I actually hate him more than any other Wen. He knows what he’s doing is wrong, he knows his lords are evil and he does nothing and his excuse is some favor. I totally get why Wei Wuxain was so furious with him.)

SCREENSHOT!

Don’t do something that will kill you.

Also, I like how the moment Wen Chao said “Who else dares to defy my orders?” Wei Wuxian immediately showed up in the frame. It’s such a nice touch to his personality and it’s a nice “invisible way” of foreshadowing.

He’s such a good child… *ugly sobbing*

The world doesn’t deserve Wei Wuxian. The world punishes people like Wei Wuxian and everyone knows this fact. The world is just not ready for someone as good and righteous. It probably never will be and that’s sad. But being “good and righteous” is complicated and debatable. The world will never agree on “good and righteous”, the agreement can never be pure and open-minded – someone like Wei Wuxian will never be accepted in the real society. We can all say we admire him and we truly do, but we also call him a fool.

He is so creepy. I love the VA for this guy. The way he laughs and yells Yahoo adds to the craziness.

All of them are so cute here. Lan Zhan too, with his childish jealousy. They just look like kids playing around. Also, Nie Huaisang, I can’t wait to see more of your shady ass in the future.

… I just think this shot is beautiful.

Jin Zixuan: Did you just touch my shoulder with your filthy finger?

Me: Fret not, babe, I’ll have Wei Wuxian make him eat that finger.

Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan started it, Wei Wuxian brings a whole new level to “Fuck you”. I mentioned this before, I’ll say it again: I really like how our MC fights first with his smarts and even when he’s physical you can see that he’s using wits and tricks to win. That’s not usually the case with MCs. In this particular case, because he used his wit to disgrace Wen Chao and the Wen sect, he got remembered and became the main target to Wens’ revenge. JC must be eating himself up over this. He tried so hard, yet at the end he let his brother do something that will kill him. Honestly, though, I would have done the same as Wei Wuxian… and then I’d be feeling guilty for the rest of my life… just like him.

… Um… Wei Wuxian sweety, your Yiling Patriarch is showing.

“Attempt the impossible” sequence is a go. Also, this is such a cool shot.

Can’t you see a giant killer turtle behind you??? Good to know what your priorities are. You dumb bitch. Also, that scream… That was a really good scream of Wei Wuxian. Well… not good. You know what I mean.

And that’s all for today. I always say to myself I’ll make it shorter next time and I always fail to do so. Well, hope you enjoy my rambling. See you!

[sozotohakai]

meet the mun

Repost do not reblog !!

Tagged by: @weiwuxiian (thank you!) Tagging: @xueyaang @shensheng-aoman @ask-cross-marian @avellaturortem @crowleiii @manadcampbellrpblog @crystallizecrimsonbutterfly @illusiive if you want to, and anyone else who wants to!

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE - Name: Chris - Eye Color:  Brown - Hair Style/color: Varies, I tend to prefer mid-length hair, with layered cut style, and they’re naturally dark brown, I’ve dyed them with strands of copper or strands of auburn in the past, I’ve felt like letting them be just their natural colour but I’m pretty sure it’s possible I’ll dye them in one of those again in the future. - Height: 5′7 (170 cm) - Clothing style: Uh. That is a good question :’) Casual I guess, I love most jeans/tight pants that are either blue or black, I love my tops to be fitting though not too tight but I have various kind of tops I like (from tank top to short sleeved shirt to long sleeve ones), I do have a weakness for button up shirts though. Boots are also my faves kind of shoes. - Best physical feature: I guess, my overall figure?

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE - Your fears: I think my overall, big fear is the fear of physical pain, but it’s translate most in fear of drowning, of sharp objects pointed at me or near me in someone else’s hand, fear of heights, and fear of stingy insects. I think I do have a phobia of wasps and bees and the likes though, like, I used to be deathly afraid of every insects, even butterfly. I’m still a bit uneasy when anything insects gets close to me, but I only really fear afraid when I know it can sting (or if I don’t know if they can, like if I’m surprised by buzzing but can’t see it, or if I don’t know the insects). I tolerate bees? By that I mean I just freeze and repeat like a mantra it’ll die if it strings it won’t easily sting you. But wasps? Nah man, I’ll hide behind anyone I know or I flee. If you ever see me make a sudden, wide off-way from a straight line, you know I heard or saw a wasps or something insect-y. Like. At least you know i’m the best radar for them. At least, it is the fear of being stung by then, rather than of the insects themselves, so I’m okay with just seeing them and/or hearing them if they can’t access me. Although the sounds make me tense like BUZZING-oh its okay XD - Your guilty pleasure: I see a cat, I hope I can pet the cat, I won’t bother the cat but if there’s  cat and cat willing, I’ll pet cat. Same with dogs, though cats feel calmer so easier to be around. Also tbh food? I’m weak to good food, or just anything tasy enough for me, which is pretty much anything (that isnt overcooked or the very few tastes I wont like). - Ambitions for the future: In all honesty, being able to continue with the life i’ve created. Take care of mom, visit&see my brother every weekend, spend my way between writing and working on little things and my hobbies. I do wish to be able eventually to travel and meet my online friends (and/or welcome them here). And tbh I have zero wish to get known, if I get some fanbase and just enough to contribute at home, i’ll be the happiest. The only real dream for future I have is a shared one, mom and my bro (and I) kind of hope we’ll one day be able to live in a house together, either those houses that can be split in smaller houses (like three small flats making up a bigger house), or simply that it has enough rooms for each of us to have a personal space.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS - Your first thoughts waking up: Vary, half the time it can be some leftover dreams so it’s like, finishing a thought from a dream (including at times literally thinking oh i’m dreaming ohhhh i’m waking up), sometimes it’ll be the slow realization of a sound, most often there’s also hearing if mom is awake (or not). Then I can daydream a bit. - What you think about before bed: Most often, daydreaming to sleep.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER? - Single or group dates: Not sure tbh, I guess both depending on people and context? - To be loved or respected:  Respect. You can love without respect; but respect is a form of love in itself. Like I’d honestly much prefer someone who respect me but doesn’t feel much of anything, that someone who “loves” me but doesn’t have respect. Of course, if I’m loved and respected, that’s the best. - Beauty or brains: Either one or both. I honestly see people as whole, so I can see “details”, but I also see the whole. Probably both is the most correct reply, though beauty has a bit less impact on me than brains, but beauty is subjective so. - Dogs or cats: Both, though I do have a preference for cats, cat-energy is like... calm. I mean they can be no calm at all, but their overall energy feel calmer than dogs. But I love both.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU. - Lie: I myself tend to be truthful, although I can also simply omit truths if voicing them has no real impact or need, mostly it’s like, if something doesnt feel important to share, I wouldn’t really think of it, but if asked or if the subject comes to it, it might pop into my head. So basically I don’t lie (unless I’d have a pretty good reason life safety), I’d mind my words with hurtful truth (if they have to be voiced), and I don’t really care if i’m lied to, as long as it’s not malicious. - Believe in yourself: I think? I’m secure in myself now, so yeah I guess there’s this implicit confidence I know myself enough. Like I can have insecurities, but I guess I believe in myself to handle it so. - Believe in love: I do, I believe in all forms of love, including at first sight, though I also believe it needs work to remain love, and the loves that don’t have a real label (like, there’s romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, and then those loves you can’t really place as any of the three but could be any of the three). And I believe friendship love and family love are just as strong as others, but I kind of believe more in family of the heart than of blood? And that its basically luck when you have a heart’s family that’s also blood family. Like they are part of your heart family, and the fact you’re blood related is just a secondary detail. - Want someone: I do feel like it would be nice to have a partner (or partners, I’m neutral about exclusivity), but I’m going out of my way to look for one. That’s why I also feel like if I ever have someone, it’ll be a friend, someone I know and we think okay we could be partners too. I’m not ruling out meeting someone that gets me doki-doki but yeah, I’d still want to know them better first. I easily crush, but I don’t easily fall (and I easily friendship crush too and confused crush sooOOO).

LAYER SIX: EVER? - Been on stage: Not really? Presentation yes, but nothing else. I mean one time a presentation took the form of a small sketch but. Yeah no real stage. - Done drugs: No. - Changed who you were to fit in: I don’t think so? I adapt, but that’s part of myself. But I don’t change the other parts? Like I’m quiet naturally, I can become chatty about cetain things (especially if I feel comfortable, which is harder in person), and I’m not going to shut up nor am I going to speak up if I don’t want to. If I can see people aren’t listening, i’m also not going to bother trying. The same kind of logic is applied to anything, I can notice what works and doesn’t work in a given setting, but I only adjust if I want to and if it’s not going against who I am.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES - Favorite color: Blue, green, silver, gold, white, black. - Favorite animal: Foxes, cats, felines&canines in general, horses. I also blame WWX and LWJ from making me coo harder at bunnies now. EDIT: Yo I’m an idiot whose brain didn’t work, but I actuall love wolves as much as foxes, they need to be properly mentioned and I dont know why I forgot :’D - Favorite movie: I can’t say I have faves in movies? There are movies I enjoyed, but none I consider faves, unlike animes/mangas or games. - Favorite game: Tales of Symphonia, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, Skyrim, Tales of Vesperia, Breath of the WIld, Pokemon games (X/Y so far my favourite with weakness for FR/LG).

LAYER EIGHT: AGE - Day your next birthday will be: July, 2nd - How old will you be: 27 (I still mind-freeze because part of me still feel like I’m, what, 24? Not quite anymore at the 20/21 stage, but not really past my mid-twenties) - Does age matter: Not really, it’s people personality and their ability to handle the world, as well as how they interact with it. In a sense, its the age you feel like that matters more, but to yourself. Like yeah you can care about the number ages of people around you, but its how they are and feel and act that end up mattering more.