#sometimes you just gotta hit da bricks

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think most of my wwx opinions are unpopular outside of my little patch in this fandom, but i genuinely do believe that post-canon wwx and jc are just better off being out of each other’s lives as much as possible, crossing paths only out of necessity for jin ling.

sometimes when the wounds cut deeply enough, even if none of those wounds were inflicted intentionally or maliciously, it doesn’t matter how much you loved your family member, how much you sacrificed for them, or how much they sacrificed for you. your presence in each other’s lives just aggravates those injuries and prevents them from healing, and maybe the kindest thing you can do for each other is to just leave each other alone.

[trans-xianxian]

going to the zoo w my coworkers tomorrow I'm so excited.... social outing with people who I'm not already close with successfully willingly invited to. I'm going to be sooo friendly and charming

[anartificialsatellite]

16 and 25?

Love Your Fandom Asks

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

this one was hard! It's hard to think of specific tiny details that deserve more attention, but I think there's a lot of little almost throwaway comments and bits that Hima inserts in there that make them feel very ordinarily human and I always enjoy them. An example is Japan being weak to advertisements on tv and buying a hair straightener, or Germany being so confident in technology that he follows his GPS no matter what, stuff like that. They're mostly just jokes, ah, but i really like them anyway. for figures that are functionally immortal supernatural beings, they're all at their core just kinda... dudes who are just doing their thing and trying to get by, and i really, really love that.

25. a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom spaces

for most people i think a good bit of advice is to learn to just let people do their own thing and don't get stressed about it, and if people are getting shitty with you about what you're doing, they can do that over there -> and you don't have to let them be shitty to you here.

like, seriously, if it's not good faith advice you don't have to take it. but i mean, you also don't have to take good faith advice either? just because someone means well doesn't mean they're right, of course. but i think especially in the current broader fandom climate, there's a lot of people who aren't happy unless they're stirring shit and being bullies and it's important to be able to identify that and remove their access to you when possible, even if they claim a social or moral or ethical high ground of some sort, which is the way a lot of fandom bullying has characterized itself over the last few years.

also, if there's stuff you can't see without getting frustrated or upset or annoyed, you can block the related tags or keywords, or just straight up block the people who post it. above all fandom is a hobby type thing and hobbies should enrich your life, not cause you more stress.

it's been a rough time for me in fandom spaces over the last several months because of non-fandom stuff and i know i am not the only one, so i've had to aggressively curate my fandom spaces and ngl it sucks, i still have a lot of heartache about it, but fandom is meant to be a fun thing and you gotta protect that for yourself sometimes.

you don't have to stay in spaces that don't respect you and don't make you happy. but at the same time, don't let people force you to leave behind what does make you happy because they're making the atmosphere bad. cut them out and build your little space if you need to. it can be more complicated than that, but i think the basic message here still holds true.

tl;dr: mind your business, block liberally, enjoy yourself, if it sucks hit da bricks, but also don't let people make you feel unwelcome in your own spaces.

[mamawasatesttube]

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

:3

this is so hard. uhm. i've immediately forgotten everything i've ever known about anything. its such a broad question helpp aksjdh

ummm. umm. uuMMmmm

here have this. litany to live by: if it sucks, hit da bricks!! but if you keep dwelling on the ways in which it sucks, make something out of da bricks to get your mind off it.

i find it much easier to exist in online spaces when i just stop looking at anything i don't like. which seems like, obvious, right, but given how much social media loves to validate ragebait and hatereading, sometimes it's a good reminder. sometimes you just gotta close a tab and go do a crossword puzzle. the crossword puzzle part (or whatever, it doesn't have to be a crossword) is important bc i know i personally find it really easy to get caught in loops of being mad about something, and finding an active distraction that makes me think about something else or use my hands physically for something else is helpful. if it sucks hit da bricks, and then build with da bricks!!!

Writers' Truth & Dare Ask Game!

[portiascottgriffith]

sometimes you just gotta unfollow someone because the vibes are off. maybe they reblog too much discourse. or a fandom you hate. or they reblogged an annoying meme too much. either way, if it sucks hit da bricks <3

[officialbabayaga]

The biggest problem with tumblr is how one sided it can be for so many people. I have no followers who like or reblog my posts. For a long time I stopped reblogging and would only like posts because it felt pointless if no one saw them. Sometimes I wonder if I should just leave if I don't seem to be contributing anything. But I realized the people I reblogged from would still prefer that to just a heart. and hopefully that's enough.

i think it is, personally!

i cannot stress this enough though that tumblr is not going to be enjoyable if you’re only reblogging things for interaction with other people. reblogging should first and foremost be a way to keep an e-scrapbook of things you like (especially bc even if you do have kind of a lot of followers there are going to be times when NO ONE is reblogging what you’re serving). honestly that’s why i try to be consistently good about tagging, because my blog is primarily for me to go through my own tags whenever i want. if you want INTERACTION you gotta make your own content, and even that can be really hit or miss. but as someone who does/did (much more in the past) make content, someone else reblogging is so much more appreciated than just a like. it doesn’t even really matter if the buck stops there and no one else reblogged it from them, it just means that there was a person out there who liked the thing enough to want it on their own blog.

you might’ve just wanted to vent and didn’t want my advice which is fine, but that’s my perspective on it. i hope you’re having fun on tumblr and if not you should quit it! if it sucks hit da bricks as they say. but if there’s things you like here i hope you’ll stick around :)

[bowldeepfannish]

Fanart commision: scene from the Sailor Moon Shakespeare pastiche AU titled All The World’s Stage being developed by  @coppercrane2​​  . She’s the most Penguin Lady of them all and one mighty pillar of the SenshixShitennou corner in the Sailor Moon fandom. ---> @ssrevminibang Feasting on the juicy plot previews and picking each other’s brains was a delight and the highlight of my Summer <3. Thank you so much Charlie <3.

All handmade traditional in pencil , just scanned and sepia-ed to enhance that Renaissance period feel a-la Da Vinci sketchbook.

----

INFO AND #SYMBOLISM ahoy (inner history nerd unleashed alert!)  so buckle up XDDD

Jupiter/Makoto (aka Viola) Capulets-Prada is here disguised as a (male) page ‘Cesario’ in the Montague-Moschino-Gucci (M-M-G for short) noble household, in order to investigate the murder of her parents. The M-M-G clan is likely involved in the murder but the lady is determined. Keep your friend close and your (likely) enemies closer? Yep.

The Montagues’ first son and heir Nephrite/Orsino ‘s troubledar (and also his UST) is pinging at the new page. Dun dun dun dunnnn.

While ‘Cesario’ is at it he tries to polish his fencing and fighting skills too, to the delight of Montague cadet’s branch cousin and blades wizard  Zoisite/Benvolio. Hence the dagger&swords lesson in their inner yard depicted in the above art happens. Orsino closely watches them on the ground while his sister Rei/Beatrice Montague gazes at the trio from her chamber window on the first floor >D.

Clothes, heraldic motifs and stonemasonry for the scene above are a mix of both authentical late medieval/early Renaissance refs, plot clues hidden in  plain sight and a nod to the source characters >D.

- butterfly/moth & flame motifs, heraldry for the Montague-Moschino-Gucci are peppered all over the picture:

1) moth to flame, anyone? It ‘s a nod to desires and ambitions of more than one kind in the fic, and a sign of danger. 2) moths partake with the meaning of butterflies but also bring a note of ambivalence compared to the diurnal, pretty butterflies. (They’re both awesome :P ).  3) flame: It brings light and warmth but also destroys. Ditto on passion! Also nod to Mars/Rei. 4) moths were also a signature Gucci feature in one of their recent-ish fashion collections so it seemed a perfect fit for the Montague-Moschino-Gucci family crest :P.

- spring (?) water well:

1) a private and handy source of drinkable water is a major boon in an era without tap water and no plumbing and hit-and-miss sewers. Another sign of status & luck. Plus water symbolism!

The water bucket is there but hidden behind the central character. We just see the rope attached to it. --> Things hidden in plain sight, the dive for truth at the botton of the well/under the surface.. and thirst in more ways than one X°D.

2) nod to Ami/Portia being part of the M-M-G family (married into).

3) water inside the well, flame motifs bas-relief outside to surround it, a metal moth on top of the well... yes all these bits are there and placed just like that and there for a reason. The whole metalwork atop the well included. Start speculating my darlings >D. 4) there is more but see point 3).

- swords & dagger:

1) if you are a novice daggers are better/more effective a weapon than futzing with a rapier. 2) Zoisite/Benvolio loves shiny stabby things :P . In any universe he values the aesthetic. To thyne own Extra self be true. Also him: dagger vs rapier? Why choose one?  :P

- hair/hairdo (or lack thereof):

for all the variance of styles in history strictly speaking for many centuries no respectable woman would go around with her hair down and loose.

Hence Rei’s hair at the window is properly braided and covered ( also a little nod to Olivia Hussey in Zeffirelli’s movie adaptation of Romeo & Juliet ) . Makoto/Viola here is disguised as a boy hence she let her hair down to blend with the males in the household + that combined with the ruffled collar helps disguising her lack of an Adam’s apple 8D .

Zoisite is still tying his hair in his trademark canon ponytail also because he’s such a wild walking genderbent Rapunzel his locks would get in the way of fencing XDD.

- hats (or lack thereof):

Nephrite/Orsino hates, hates, hates that cumbersome poofy embroidered hat. But for all his discomfort he’s a Good Kid (Mama Beryl/Tamora is a stickler for heraldic paraphernalia and power dressing) and as the first son and designated heir he gotta.

Rei wears her headband/hair cuff and and ribbons interlaced in her braid like a proper refined aristocrat young lady of means.

Zoi should probably wear some sort of hat and also tie his shirt laces but he can’t be bothered plus he’s from  the cadet branch: he’s gotta play such a non playing straight card whenever it suits him amirite :P

- miscellaneous wall work: it recycles elements from previous buildings, preferrably Romans. Includings choice bits from Antiquity in your very building was as much a sign of status (Roman Empire mystique!) as sometimes a necessity due to lost techniques/expensive exotic materials.

- lozenges/trellis window glass and decorated ceramic + ornamental bricks framing the window: very period. A handful of such windows still survive 50 metres from my house :P.   XV century Italian goodness <3. I actually sneaked a tad of late XIX century feel in too :P (medieval-ish Art Nouveau architecture is quite a thing where I live).

- glimpse of Rei’s chamber: carved and painted wooden ceilings, tapestry (landscapes with castles and/or mythological themes usually) hanging on the wall for both decor and shielding from drafts belonged to the noble class taste of the period ( a rather long period and large area in the Westt... much beloved in the middle ages up to well into the Tudors’ era at least :). Sometimes if you could not hang tapestries you would commision trompe l’oeil of tapestries :D ) .

A repeat of the pics as sometimes Tumblr doesn’t display the top pic in pic posts  for me :°D. Thank you for reading if you have made it to the end!

-------

I am looking foward to the published fic. Thak you so much again for this fantastic commission chance Charlie I loved working on this :,). -------- my twitter

[ducksbellorum]

beats, rhymes, and life (listen/download)

a gangsta!au mix - stargate atlantis fandom - arranged by ducksbellorum

1) I’m So Hood - DJ Khaled The general (albeit stupid) premise of this ‘verse, everyone is a gangsta. Yeah. And I got these golds up in my mouth If you get closer to my house Then you know what I’m talkin’ 'bout I’m out the hood 2) Ridin’ Dirty - Chamillionaire Meet John Sheppard (or J Shep as he’s known in the streets). He’s an original gangsta and rap star, Ferrari sittin’ on 26’s, hat turned sideways. And he’s not exactly sure why the feds think that he’s special, even if stuff does light up when he touches it. They see me rollin’, they hatin’ Patrollin’ and tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty My music so loud, I’m swangin’ 3) White and Nerdy - Weird Al Meet Rodney McKay (his few friends call him Rod Mac). He doesn’t really fit in with the gangsta world. Sure, he packs heat and talks smack and his Volvo sits on very modest 22’s, but that’s about it. They see me mowin’ My front lawn I know they’re all thinking I’m so white and nerdy 4) I’m Dumb - Gorilla Zoe Meet Elizabeth Weir (Liz W to some). She’s a mediator between the ghetto and the feds. She’s a wild partier and her hood loves her. They found her dancing on tables when they came to call her up for the Atlantis expedition. Everywhere I go, I bet the girls take photos Spend a hundred on a old Chevrolet And I can’t change my ways I’m so hood, man, the hood loves me

5) Early Morning Trapping - OJ da Juiceman Meet Carson Beckett (C Bex to the rap world). Carson is a rapper. And, oh yeah, a doctor, because his rap career just hasn’t quite taken off yet… Early morning trappin’, down to make it happen Workin’ 50 brick, we bring them chicken out the plastic Getting them bitches gone, we call it dope boy magic Pull up in that stanky thing, man, that thing nasty 6) Welcome to My Hood - DJ Khaled Welcome to Atlantis (aka the ATL). Atlantis quickly becomes the new hood, because no one knows if they’ll get home again. Pegasus, prepare to be turned upside down. They outside playing hopscotch And everybody know this is the hot spot Welcome to my hood Them boys will put you down on your knees 7) Corner Cuttin’ - Gucci Mane Naturally, the first thing J Shep does when he finds out there are spaceships is to trick one out with rims (who needs rims on a jumper?) and a sound system you can hear in the Milky Way. He rolls like a boss. Corner cuttin’, trap shakin’ Booty hoppin’, you hear that beat knockin’? (Is that that beat knockin?) That’s that beat knockin’ (Is that that beat knockin?) Yeah that’s that beat knockin’ 8) Flossin’ - Shop Boyz The Wraith quickly become quite a problem. J Shep stabbing their warden and waking them all up didn’t help much. “Oops, my bad, I ain’t mean to make her mad!” See I make 'em sick, When they see me they coughin’. They gonna love it, they gonna hate it When we come through flossin’ 9) Bossy - Birdman Meet Teyla Emmagan of the Athosians. J Shep dubs her Tey Em, but they find out very quickly that the Athosians are so very Not Hood. At all. Teyla agrees to join them anyway. I love it when she bossy Sexy when she bossy I know I am the boss I kinda like it when she boss me 10) All the Above - Maino Meet Ronon Dex (R Dex). He takes to the gangsta culture right away. Sometimes Teyla thinks she’s the only sane one around here. I done been through the pain and the sorrow The struggle is nothing but love I’m a soldier, a rider, a ghetto survivor And all the above 11) Out Here Grinding - DJ Khaled The street runners of the Milky Way don’t let Pegasus change them. They stay hood and do what they do and they continue to kick the Wraith’s ass regardless. Cause I’m out here grindin’ I ain’t slept in 8 days I can go for 8 weeks Ain’t nothin’ to me cause I am the streets. 12) You Know What It Is - T.I. R Dex and J Shep hit it off immediately. Within weeks of meeting each other they’re already road dogs. Every time something epic happens, they look at each other and go “You know what it is!” I’m a real homie, throw six figures on me Got a pistol you don’t want it, boy, you what what it is Ay, I’m way flyer, my pay’s way higher If they ever mention sire, boy, you know what it is

13) Look At Me Now - Chris Brown No one really respected Rod Mac as a gangsta. Until during one rap session, the scientist walked in, said “Hell, Sheppard. Lemme show you how to keep the dice rollin’ when you doin’ that thing over there, homie. Let’s go!” and proceeded to spit some of the fastest rhymes Shep had ever heard. When he finished, Shep blinked, then extended a hand and slapped skin with the other man. “Respect, bro.” I don’t see how y'all can hate from outside the club Y'all can’t even get in! 14) Yeah - Usher After that, the team started to rap and sing together on a regular basis. Teyla still refused to join and Ronon was still hesitant about his skills, but everyone gathered up to watch Shep and Rod throw it down. Take that and rewind it back R Dex got the beat that make your booty go Take that and rewind it back J Shep got the voice that make your booty go Take that and rewind it back Rod Mac got the flow that make your booty go Take that and rewind it back Tey Em got the booty make your booty go 15) Do the Ricky Bobby - B-Hamp However, there is that one song that all of them will go absolutely crazy and dance to… Do the ricky Bobby, stop, pose for the frame Do the ricky Bobby, stop, pose for the frame Do the ricky Bobby, stop, pose for the frame And I dip and we do the same thing 16) Up All Night - Drake Life out here isn’t always slangin’ and bangin’ and rappin’ with your homies. The danger is very real and there’s no guarantee you’ll be here tomorrow. Everyone in the city is acutely aware of this. I be up all night, whole crew’s in here Cause I don’t really know who I'mma lose this year Man I love my team, man I love my team, I would die for them 17) All I Do Is Win - DJ Khaled Simple explanation: the Atlantis expedition are bad-ass kings of the street. No lie. And they win at life. All I do is win win win no matter what Got money on my mind, I can’t ever get enough And everytime I step up in the building Everybody’s hands go up and they stay there 18) Right Above It - Lil Wayne No matter where they go, everyone tries to stay on their good side. Their rep is the baddest in the galaxy and nobody wants to mess with the ATL. Now tell me how you love it You know you at the top when only heaven’s right above it It’s Young Money, motherfucker If you ain’t runnin’ with it, run from it, motherfucker, all right Bonus Tracks: 19) Bed Intruder Song - Antoine Dodson It takes the abduction of her people to make Teyla go gangsta. After returning from New Athos, she dragged Jennifer Keller (J Kels) into her room and when they came out, this song was born. He’s climbin’ in your stargate He’s snatchin’ your people up Tryin’ to take 'em so y'all need to Hide your kids, hide your wife 20) Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta - Ghetto Boyz There is really no excuse or explanation for this song. I just find it hilarious and kind of apt. :) J Shep: And all I gotta say to you wanna-be- Tey Em: Gonna-be- Rod Mac: Pussy-eatin’- R Dex: Cock-suckin’- C Bex: Pranksters: Liz W: When the shit goes down, what you gonna do? All: Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

[ghost-chance]

A New Lease on Life - 5: You Can't Set a Broken Soul

Trigger Warnings: The usual, bad coping methods, minor bullying including self-bullying

Suggested Listening: Avril Lavigne "Nobody's Home"

-----------------------------------------------------------

5: You Can't Set a Broken Soul

-----------------------------------------------------------

February 8, 2016

"Why'd you have to leave, Amber?" Aaron muttered into a mostly empty glass of cheap beer. "Why'd you go out on your own like that? You were safe in the shelter…"

Amber stared in dismay from the dark corner of the skeazy bar. Aaron would never have been caught dead in a place like this, much less drunk on cheap alcohol. He HATED the stuff, hated the memories it always brought forth—memories of the friends and family he lost to the can and bottle. Though truth hurt, Amber knew without a doubt he was drinking over her—her senseless, needless death had driven her best friend to drinking.

"Aaron…" she whispered, inching toward the bar. "Aaron, I'm sorry…" As though she hadn't even spoken, the barkeeper laughed derisively behind his newspaper.

"Dis's ruh-DICK-yulus,"- the portly man drawled thickly. "Dis ahticle says ova half da people who died in da twista was ig-NOR-in da sirens—any dumb bee-itch who'd go out in weh-da like dat dee-zerves—"- Without warning, Aaron's heavy glass stein crashed onto the counter, shattering from the impact.

"SHUDDUP!"- he slurred angrily, clumsily launching himself over the counter at the barkeeper. "You di'n't- know'er—you got no right to judge'er!"-

As the two grappled and traded blows, the ceiling violently tore away. Amber turned fearfully to the gaping rafters, her heart racing. Clouds gathered in the barren skies forming menacing grey thunderheads. Blue and green lightning cracked from cloud to cloud racing the rolling thunder.

Her lungs tight from fear, her ears aching from the plummeting air pressure, Amber fell to the ground, scrambling into the nearest corner and staring up in horror. Though torrents of rain fell, though the power flickered and failed, though wind tore through the bar like a vengeful ghost, the patrons never budged, staring blankly through their drinks as though the world weren't coming to an end. She was alone—alone with the demon that killed her and haunted her dreams.

Sirens wailed in the distance; a familiar sputtering roar deafened her. Grey-green clouds split in a merciless, mocking grin. As the world fell away around her, Amber screamed unheard pleas to the merciless winds, certain she'd breathed her last.

Amber shot up in bed with a panicked shriek; as her racing heart calmed and the phantom ache in her skull faded, the blanks filled themselves in around her. Old, stained brick walls, vaulted concrete ceiling with exposed ducts, pipes, and wiring, the distant rumble of a passing subway train, slow whirring and beeping from the ridiculously advanced machinery around her…she was safe.

"Not again," she rasped, pulling the patched quilt around her as she waited for the shaking to stop. "Damn night terrors…gettin' fuckin' old."

She glanced wearily over at the clock. It was four am…she'd gotten five full hours of sleep. In her previous life, she was useless without nine to ten hours a night; now she was lucky to get three. The hourly trains triggered nightmares and kept her awake fighting a constant barrage of graphic memories and chills that had no basis in temperature. Five hours of uninterrupted sleep? 'It's like Christmas,' she thought sarcastically, picturing a decent night's sleep packaged up in a box with a big red bow.

Without further ado, she disentangled herself from the sheet and quilt, rummaged under the cot for her folded clothes and basket of toiletries, and padded out of the room barefoot. After a quick stop in the bathroom, she set up the coffee maker on autopilot, staring blankly through the scratched wooden table as the percolating machine hissed, dripped, and belched. After downing a cup of sweetened, creamed tar-juice, she set up a second cup with only sugar.

Stopping only to deliver it to the still slumbering genius, she hit the showers, choosing the farthest stall from the door as usual. That one had a working lock. The room's fixtures had obviously been salvaged from somewhere, but fixing the warped, vandalized locks apparently wasn't very high on Donatello's list of priorities. Maybe because the lair once had only male residents and most men weren't all that concerned about being seen in the buff by other men? She cringed, wrenching the elastics from her tangled hair; she still wasn't sure if Mikey had barged in on her on purpose, but she wasn't willing to risk a recurrence.

The moment the water started up, she started humming loudly to block out the sound. She'd once loved the sound of water—had once slept deepest when rain was falling—but that was before her fear of severe storms became a fear of even the lightest rainstorm, and long before she was killed and given another life. Now the sound of rain terrified her and the dripping showerhead sent chills down her spine. As she lathered up her hair, she thought back to better times, better days, and a soft voice that once lulled her to sleep with songs of their youth.

The roar of water rattling the overhead pipes ripped Donatello from his hard-earned sleep. As his eyes blearily cranked open, he again cursed his decision to leave the ceilings in the lair unfinished; even a suspended ceiling could muffle the noise a little. Scratching his neck, he hoisted himself up in his bed and fumbled for his glasses. As his eyes focused, the blurry splotch by his alarm clock solidified into a mug of steaming coffee. The coffee was prepared far too sweet, as usual, and he nearly sprayed it all over the clock's display once he realized what it read.

"Four-thirty in the morning?" he groaned, digging his knuckles into his aching eyes. "You've gotta be kidding me...this can't go on." As his bedroom was the closest to the lab, he was always woken several times nightly. Every time Amber cried out in her sleep, every time she thrashed around and fought the demons haunting her dreams, every time she woke up screaming herself hoarse, he was woken by the noise. Every time her nightmares deprived him of sleep, he spent the rest of the night struggling with his own thoughts and feelings. Sorrow at her condition—guilt about being unable to save Kimber's life—resentment over lost sleep and interrupted work—disgust at himself for resenting Amber when she clearly wasn't responsible…the list went on and on.

With every day that passed, he became ever more certain that Amber wasn't as well as she tried convincing herself. Every time the subway rumbled overhead she fell into another panic attack, and sometimes even a flashback. Several times daily she'd turn up missing without any word of where she was going, and more often than not he'd find her tucked beside the running washing machine or wedged into the foot-well of his desk, shaking violently and smothering tears in her knees. She was getting worse every day…and for the first time in his life, Donatello was faced with a problem he knew was beyond his skill.

Amber wasn't a broken machine—she was a broken woman. He couldn't fix her.

"It was down in La-wheezy-yan—AH!- Jus' about a mile from Texarkana," an off-key voice echoed from the bathroom. Donatello sank into his usual seat at the battered table, staring through his coffee cup. "OW! In them ol' cotton fields back home–DAMMIT!" The water had long since shut off; every now and then, the song was interrupted by a cry of pain or curse, signifying that Amber had moved on to impatiently wrenching the tangles from her hair. She still wasn't used to Kimber's body, especially the second set of posts in her ears and the ring on the left one, and routinely snagged them in the bristles. Between oaths and verses, Donnie dozed off at the table, nodding into his empty cup.

"Ah, shoot." The sudden phrase startled him awake, and in the blink of an eye, he was crouched before his chair brandishing his empty coffee cup as a weapon. Amber stood in the doorway to the kitchen cringing in embarrassment. "I woke ya up again, didn't I?" She brought the coffee carafe over to refill his cup as he slouched back into his seat.

"Yeah," he answered honestly, trying to stretch the crick out of his neck. "No big deal, though…not like you do it on purpose." She shook her head with a wry smile and made her way to the kitchen sink. As she passed by, he realized something was different…he stared in surprise. Instead of just keeping her hair in a high, messy bun, she'd separated it into twin tails at her nape and braided them tightly. She'd discovered the other day that even though her hair still smelled fruity, the red was starting to fade. Apparently she was so excited to be returning to her natural color that she changed things up a little. With her hair still so red, though…He winced. Breakfast was going to be a disaster.

"So," he attempted, striving for a casual tone and failing. "What's with the change?" She ducked around the open cabinet door to meet his eyes.

"You noticed?" she smiled brightly as she mixed up a huge bowl of pancake batter. "I got sick'a fighting my hair all day so I went back to basics—before I got here, I usually wore my hair like this. I'm lazy like that." She dug a package of wilting blueberries from the fridge, picking out the stems as she tossed the berries into the bowl. "After all the change an' drama, it's a real comfort havin' my braids back."

"It's…" He scrambled for words between the worries. "…cute. Maybe you should wait until the dye fades, though. I just know—"

"S'up, Angelcakes?" Mikey called out from the doorway. "What's for—Whoa!" Donatello cringed, retreating to the coffeemaker; he knew this was going to happen. "Blueberry pancakes?! Sweet!"

"Wait, what?" Donnie muttered dubiously.

"Yup!" Amber grinned, mixing in a little extra sugar as Mikey dug out a pair of battered skillets and spatulas. "They were about dead anyway, so I figured why not? It'll be a nice treat." As Michelangelo fried pancakes and Amber scrambled eggs, Donatello watched silently, hoping that his worries really were unfounded.

About halfway through the bowl of batter and eggs, Leonardo and Splinter sat at their places, conversing over morning tea. Right as the stove burners were switched off, Raphael lumbered through the door to the coffeemaker. Halfway there, he pulled a double-take, gaping at Amber's braids in disbelief and derision. He said nothing, retreating to his seat with a steaming mug of coffee. When Amber bustled to the table to dole out breakfast, he struck.

"So," he asked snidely. "Where's da meat, Wendy?"

"Hey, now," Leo began, but Mikey cut him off.

"Don't be such a jerk, Raphie," the youngest scolded, playing with the end of a punch red braid. Amber's comforted smile warped into a deadpan glower a moment later when she felt both braids lifted up at either side of her head. "Too many freckles! She looks more like Pippi Longstocking!"

"Hardy, har, har," she grumbled, setting the two platters down a little more roughly than necessary. While Raph and Mikey bantered over which was a more accurate resemblance, she retreated to the living room with yet another cup of coffee. Donatello was used to Raph and Mikey's antics—he'd been the butt of their jokes more times than he'd like to admit—but this time, he was pissed. He loaded her untouched plate and his own with pancakes and eggs and dug for flatware in the drawer.

"She's been nothing but helpful since she arrived," he reminded the two troublemakers coldly. "She cooks, she cleans, she picks up after your ungrateful asses, and right when she starts to relax, you tease her!" He shot them both a glare as he left. Sometimes they absolutely disgusted him, Raph especially. He found Amber on the cot in the lab, lying on her back with her head dangling over the side and brushing through her long loosened hair. Though he'd only seen them once, he already missed the braided tails; why eluded him at the moment. "Hey."

"Hey yerself," she shot back with a grin, wrestling her hair into a high ponytail. As she sat up and fastened the coiled mass into a sloppy bun, he pulled up his rolling stool and held out her plate.

"You forgot this—dig in." Moss green eyes scrutinized him seriously. He avoided her eyes, passing the plate and flatware. "Don't mind them. They're just—"

"It's okay, Donnie." Confused, he finally met her eyes; she didn't really seem upset anymore. "If unflatterin' comparisons and immature folks were all it took to ruin my day, I'd'a- died a hermit. This body? It ain't me—I was short, fat, clumsy, partly crippled, an' I started goin' grey before I hit drinkin' age. I've been called much worse'n- any'a that. It's no big deal." She halfheartedly scraped a chunk of egg around on her plate while Donatello let the description sink in. "B'sides, Aaron used to say much worse…an' he's—was my best friend. I'm used to gettin' shite from people, and I'm more than willin' to give it back." She shot an up-to-no-good grin up at him. "I'll get'em-…but not 'til they've let their guard down. Meantime, let'em squirm."

"If you're sure, Amber," he relented, then paused for a bite of his own pancakes. "Forgive me for asking, but…before twenty-one?" She chuckled.

"Yeah. Lots'a early grey in my family. My uncle Bart went shock white while he was in high school; findin' my first silver at nineteen was lucky, considerin'." She took another sip of coffee before adding, "It always hit the redheads worst. I wasn't a redhead, but there was enough red in my hair to turn me into a brown skunk." He couldn't help but grin at the mental image.

"It didn't embarrass you?"

"Course it did," she answered honestly. "For a while, I kept my hair cut above the neck an' never went anywhere without a hat or hair-scarf—couldn't afford dyein' it all the time. Course, then everyone jus' assumed I was goin' bald and started pullin' me aside to talk about the cancer I was supposedly dyin' of. I finally had it when my roommate Mercy dragged me to a cancer survivors group shpeal; flipped'er off, flashed my stripes, an' walked home. Apparently the granny-hair spoke for itself." She finally gave up on pushing her food around and passed the plate back to him. "Guess I'm not really hungry; help yourself. I better get to work, right?"

"Amber," he scolded, latching onto her arm and anchoring her in her seat. "You have to eat—you skipped breakfast and lunch yesterday, and the day before you only ate an apple! You're not getting adequate caloric intake like this—at this rate you'll—"

"I'm not starvin' myself," she argued. Against her will, a memory played through her mind's eye: City Hall's basement, Aaron crouched before her with a bowl of soup, coaxing her to eat even though her stomach felt full of concrete. She fought to keep control but that memory had a dozen more on its heels; together, they swarmed her. "I'm just not hungry! Trus' me, I spent my whole life hungry when I shouldn't be—"

"You should be hungry! If you keep this up you're going to—"

"I don't need a nanny, Donnie!" she burst out vehemently. "I'm a grown woman, not some anorexic tweenager.- If I ain't hungry, I ain't hungry, an' no amount'a shovin' food at me's gonna make me hungry!"- Without another word, she stormed out intent on silencing her memories with manual labor.

"I just don't know what to do, April," Donatello muttered into his palms as she watched him with worry. Beyond the lab's closed blast door, Amber was hard at work in the dojo, waxing the floorboards to mirror brightness on her hands and knees…for the fifth time in as many days. "She hardly eats anything and guzzles coffee like it's water," he ranted harshly. "She barely sleeps, wakes up screaming, then spends the whole day and most of the night cleaning everything in the lair in the least effective ways possible—she intentionally wears herself out every day, then crashes in the early hours, too sore to do anything! She's having panic attacks more and more often and she's been spacing out for hours at time—the other night we found her wandering the sewers barefoot talking to someone who doesn't even exist in this reality!"

He fell silent, choking up. She and Mikey had been washing dishes when someone dropped a glass, and the sound had somehow flipped some hidden switch in her brain. She walked barefoot right through the shards like a zombie and somehow found her way out the front door, muttering the whole way about hungover friends and neurotic dogs. When they finally found her—after following what felt like a mile of bloody footprints—the sight of her adamantly arguing about music with 'Aaron' silenced the long lecture he'd planned. "She's going to kill herself at this rate, April," he confessed weakly, dropping his hands to dangle helplessly between his knees. "…and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"Donnie," the older woman murmured leaning forward for a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder. "You're a brilliant guy and a talented engineer, but you can't just 'fix' people—if someone's broken, you can't reconnect some wires, tighten a lug nut or two, slap on some duct tape and expect them to work again…and if those injuries aren't physical…" She trailed off, avoiding his eyes. "…Broken bones heal quickly once you immobilize them, but there's no way to set a broken soul. It's not your fault."

"You're waxing poetic on me, April," he teased halfheartedly. "I'm not Mikey; you don't have to play down the gritty details." Finally, she met his eyes, her own serious.

"She needs to see a doctor, Donnie…a psychiatrist. I think Amber has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder…and it's only going to get worse."

Just outside the shuttered door, Amber silently slid down the wall and landed in a boneless heap. She wasn't supposed to have heard that conversation, she was sure of it, and she wouldn't have heard it if she'd not come to apologize for taking Donatello's head off earlier. Now her overreaction and subsequent attempt at apology had exposed her to a secret discussion and triggered a plethora of fears. Even as she fought to rationalize away the knowledge, stubbornly scolded herself that PTSD wasn't caused by something as minor as a natural disaster, she knew it would explain so many things.

She'd never been in a war zone, had never seen battle, and had never seen her comrades fall one by one—she was a janitor, not a soldier!—so how could she have developed something even seasoned warriors weren't guaranteed stricken with? She'd insisted her whole life that she wasn't weak, that she could handle ANYTHING given enough time to work through it…yet she was completely broken by something as stupid and meaningless as a storm.

'Am I…' she though disjointedly, tears pricking her eyes behind her glasses. 'No…I am…I really am weak after all.' Without a word she stood, dusted herself off, and wandered out the front door, stopping only to grab a battered flashlight from the kitchen counter. A walk wouldn't fix her intolerable weakness and it wouldn't fix her, but maybe it would at least give her time to think. A line of music echoed down a storm drain from a passing car, reminding her of a time when she didn't feel so lost. 'Where were they going without ever knowing the way?'

Tolkien was right: not all who wander are lost, but she knew she wasn't among them.

Words (Midwestern Twang unless otherwise noted)

- Adding 'er to the end of a word - Means 'her' - Adding 'e, 'is, or 'im to the end of a word - Means he, his, or him. - Adding 'em or 'eir to the end of a word - Means them or their - B'sides - Besides - Di'n't / Din't - Didn't - I'd'a - 'I would have' - Know'er / Judge'er - Know her / Judge her - La-wheezy-anna - This is an awkward pronunciation of "Louisiana" sometimes heard in the Midwest. In the South - or other areas NEAR Louisiana - people generally pronounce it "Loozianna" or "Loo-ee-zee-anna." IRL, I pronounce it "La-wheezy-anna" because it's how I was taught, and it always drives Cold up the wall because he grew up friends with a family FROM Louisianna. At first, it was just a habit; NOW I keep that habit just to annoy my hubby. ;P - Shuddup / Shaddap - Shut up, the first being a common mispronunciation and the second being more of a Southern/Midwestern slang pronunciation. - Tweenager - Slang term for someone just old enough to be a pain, but too young to be considered a teenager; generally such persons are older adolescents. - Worse'n - 'Worse than' - "Dis's ruh-DICK-yulus" - 'This is ridiculous.' A highly twisted version of the Southern Drawl, perhaps from Arkansas. An odd way of defining the difference between the Midwestern Twang and Southern Drawl would be this: 'In the Midwest, we say as much as possible with as few syllables as we can, while in the South, people say as little as possible with as many syllables as they can.' The South tends to stretch words out and add extra syllables to words, while the Midwest tends to crop off syllables and mash words together, and both tend to warp pronunciations of common words. - "Dis ahticle says ova half da people who died in da twista was ig-NOR-in da sirens—any dumb bee-itch who'd go out in weh-da like dat dee-zerves—" - 'This article says over half the people who died in the twister was ignoring the sirens - any dumb bitch who'd go out in weather like that deserves [to die].’ Twisted southern drawl. Unfortunately, there was a LOT of this after the tornado I went through - people would openly blame those who were killed for being careless or for not seeking the 'right' shelter, never considering that they didn't know all the facts OR that the dead person's loved ones might be hearing their ranting. - "If I ain't hungry, I ain't hungry, an' no amount'a shovin' food at me's gonna make me hungry!" - 'If I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry, and no amount of shoving food at me is going to make me hungry!"

A quick rant: Developing PTSD does NOT mean you're weak, broken, worthless, damaged, or any other horrible things we often convince ourselves it means. PTSD is just your brain's way of recovering and adapting, and it's actually a healthy response to trauma. It's not exclusively a 'warrior's illness'—anyone can develop it regardless of whether or not they've been deployed. While it can be hard to accept that you 'got it from' a car accident, witnessing extreme violence, or in Amber's case, weathering a hell of a storm, what caused it has little to do with personal strength or weakness. If you start showing signs of PTSD, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. Don't put it off, don't talk yourself out of it, and for Pete's sake, don't do what I did—don't spend months staring out the window, ruminating on why you lived when so many others died, and hoping to waste away into nothing—the longer you wait to seek help, the longer it takes for you to heal, and healing IS possible.

Putting away my soapbox now. Also, the song Amber sings is called "Cotton Fields"—it's a Southern folk song, and if sung in a slow, bluesy manner, it can put kids out like a light

Up Next: Cohabitation Chaos

[cancercornastrology]

The Signs As Logic Lyrics

Aries: “These fuckers facades, they just a mirage, right?, I said these fuckers facades, they just a mirage, right?, Tell me that they love me, know damn well that they don't give a fuck, I be on that finger flipping killing shit up in the cut, That's what's up, All these bitches out here tryna gas it up, This is everything I ever wanted, I can't pass it up, Life changed in a year, couldn't happen fast enough, "Can I do it like you do it?" That's what they be asking us, White Benz, black card, bitch better get your plastic up.” -Under Pressure

Taurus: “Yes, I want it all from the big to the little, things, When you hear my voice it rings, C-notes in my pocket, cause logic does not prefer to sing, All the women know what I'm about, Make music then i dig 'em out, Cause I got it, flow hypnotic, And not a single one of y'all doubt it, And when I think about the life I live and the studio time I give, To the fans in the stands, usually kill it but now you can dance, Cause this is a banger, logic is not a stranger, To makin' that music that make you feel better.” -I Want It All

Gemini: “Reinvention, that's my intention, Want so much more than this third-dimension, That's not to mention my true ascension is a bigger picture, No metaphor, I’m being real with ya, But it will hit ya like, "goddamn!", Going HAM, full of all of them, In a spaceship, I’m in another system, So futuristic, on another mission, But back on Earth everybody bitchin', I been in the kitchen, Livin' my life—no inhibition, life to death with no intermission, Now the good book said we all the same, and we kill each other but it's all in vain, And we all to blame, can't see the picture when it's out the frame.” -Fade Away

Cancer: “Baby do you remember, Warm summers and cold winters, Songs by soul singers the feeling it still lingers, Elevated by my kiss as you melted between my fingers, Babygirl, sometimes I wish, That I could just rewind this shit and take it back, I had visions but they just faded black, My train of thought is on a different track, When you’re in love it’s hard to separate fiction from fact, Your image in my head, and I’m trynna get rid of that, But you’re always on my mind like a fitted hat, Baby girl, I wanna bring it back to puppy love, When you was sent from up above to care for me, Said that you’d always be there for me, And even though you’re gone, it’s like you never left, Cuz you always in my heart and still take away my breath.” -Can I Love

Leo: “Ayo, fuck all that, it's the fat young Jesus; flow prestigious, Stackin' money and playin' the field man like Regis, Better believe us or leave us, Grabbin' your bitch's cleavage like, "woo-hah", I went from surveyin' to Super Saiyan slayin' the man, Bitches want an autograph, I sign them titties in crayon, like goddamn!, It's me and B-I-G L-N-B-O cookin' like chemists, It's me and B-I, B-I, B-I-G L-N-B-O, L-N-B-O, Posted in the club in baggy jeans and a beanie, Sippin' on a martini, takin' my pick at bitches like eenie meenie, I'm unscannable, young cannibal, eat wack MCs like Hannibal, Cause Joe Pesci's my spirit animal.” -Young Jesus

Virgo: “All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout they think they know it, I've been praying for somebody to save me, no one's heroic, And my life don’t even matter, I know it I know it I know I'm hurting deep down but can’t show it, I never had a place to call my own, I never had a home, Ain't nobody callin' my phone, Where you been? Where you at? What's on your mind?, They say every life precious but nobody care about mine.” - 1-800-273-8255

Libra: “Mighty strokes of war, Have already been dealt against the enemy, What kind of a people do they think we are?, Is it possible that they do not realize, That we shall never cease to persevere against them, Until they have been taught a lesson, Which they and the world will never forget, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous.” -Young, Broke, and Infamous

Scorpio: “Going crazy cause I only feel this good with you, Maybe I’m just not as strong as I once was, When we’re together lately I don’t even feel a buzz, I’m addicted to this shit like it was hard drugs, Nikki baby I love you but now I gotta go, Cause in the end what happens you already know.” -Nikki

Sagittarius: “Just ride with a mothafucka, Keep it real, never lie to a mothafucka, hold me down, Chillin' in a-gadda-da-vida, rockin' Adidas, With a señorita and she sippin' liquor by the liter, That's royalty, like the homie Gambino, He know we be in the casino, lightin' Cubans with a C-note, I'ma fuck the game, dare you to test my libido, Comin' up shorter than Danny DeVito, Whenever I step on the beat, ho, Like a killer on the creep slow, Had my share of defeat, but we still gon' eat, ho.” -Alright

Capricorn: “But I cling to the streets even though I wanna run away, I imagine a better life, Where I never had a debt in life, Hit you with the {gunshots} in the dead of night, Sellin' crack to my own pops, Pushin' this weight on my own block, If I sell a brick I can buy a house, If they find the key they might lock me up, But I take the chance, 'Cause I need that shit and don’t give a fuck, Take the chance, 'cause I need that shit and don’t give a fuck.” -Gang Related

Aquarius: “The incredible album, what an incredible outcome, I grip the mic and then talk to the people like I'm Malcolm, I used to think the fame and money was the motivation, Until I toured the world and met the people face to face and, Understood that the power was harnessed in that basement, It ain't about the money and notoriety, It's about the people and making a difference in society.” -44 Bars

Pisces: “Most living the life that I'm living, Is driven by money and women, But you're all I ever need girl that's a given, feel me, Now sick as fuck just heal me, My heart broken can you seal me, Baby I'm knowing that our love is ever-growing, Which direction are we going, I think we should get to slowing it down, The only girl that make me smile when I frown now, Re-interrupt but we can fix it though I wonder how, All I know is I miss the way you smile.” -Love Jones

-Deja

[grandemasterpyrokitsune]

Happy 10th!

The time has finally come to talk about why PaF is so important. Really, anyone could do this anytime, but this date alone has a significance to it. To any of my followers who don’t know(and will sit through this brick wall of text to find out), today is the 10th anniversary of the sneak peek premiere of Phineas and Ferb; technically, February 2008 is when it officially premiered around the world, but I’m sure that everyone else in the fandom is eager to kick off the celebration today. I’m sure this will turn out to be a multi paged thesis, so I’ll try to split this up into parts.

-----------------------------------

PART 1: Best Day Ever

Anyway, ten years ago today marks the 10th anniversary of Phineas and Ferb. This show is considered an old soul of sorts, enjoying a long lifespan of 8 years, tons of merchandising and entertainment opportunities, the admiration and respect of many celebrities, and a very long summer. As formulaic as it appears, this show has more history to it than it appears to have.

PART 2:Busted

(This part details history of Disney’s TV animation ventures and basically life before PaF. Feel free to skip if you’re clued in to its history.)

The 2000s were considered a lousy time for TV animation . While many say it's the "worst" decade for it(whether worldwide or just in North America), I'd call it a transitional period. The 90s was an exciting a refreshing time for TV animation where the stories were driven by the creators, not toy designers. I would generally consider it more of the same from the Golden Age of Animation but more modern. The 2000s had newer technologies to work with and perfect while the ‘90s mainly just worked w/ cel animation and did it so well. Flash and CG were in their infancy, so I assume the software got a bit more attention than the stories. Primarily, companies were just looking to work with more cost effective options to make their shows with. It was a rough period,but far from the worst. Anyway, this kind of TV animation is still a relatively new type of animation. Disney were the first ones to spearhead this movement and they made three or four blocks of new cartoon for different generations of kids. 

The first block(formally known as Disney Afternoon)was ushered in with three pilots; Fluppy Dogs, Wuzzles and Ducktales. While the former two merely tested the waters and the latter was the only one successful, all three were made with stellar animation and complex storytelling for what everyone knew as entertainment for kids. After the success of Ducktales, Disney was brimming with pride and made seven years worth of cartoons for this block. Even if some cartoons didn't strike people the right way, they were still wildly memorable. While their D.C. original programming generally doesn't get more than short compilation discs, the DA 'toons get full series releases digitally and through DVD. This prompted to launch One Saturday Morning on ABC. 

With the acquisition of Nicktoon Doug, Disney paired it up with Recess and Pepper Ann, chasing after the success they had a few years before. The aforementioned series were the highest rated on the block while other series are more obscure and buried by Disney. They are acknowledged as good but were overshadowed by 24/7 network like Nick and Cartoon Network bringing a lot more cartoons to a lot more times of the day. 

Disney started to notice how much of an animated surplus they had and that they air their cartoons for weeks on end. Thus, Toon Disney was founded,which became a more visible hub for the cartoon blocks of the 90s and all other ages of Disney. At one point,they started airing Sonic the Hedgehog and making their own co-productions under their most popular TV cartoon brand, Jetix. As extensive as these programs got, they were being seen by fewer and fewer people. 

To overlap slightly with the end of OSM, Disney started making more cartoons for the Channel’s demographic. Shows like Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, and American Dragon:Jake Long began airing and netting extraordinary ratings. In fact, Disney Channel was probably most successful in the early 2000s. It found its new groove if you will with its signature style of tween/teen sitcom and animated series. The former seem to have more clout on the network after the premiere of Lizzie McGuire,solidifying the formula. Similar to OSM, many cartoons were more or less not acknowledged the way they were 10 years before. Since sitcoms dominated because they were faster and cheaper to make, it seemed that the outcome was better. Over the course of the period (c. 2002-2008) they released the smallest selection of DC cartoons ever while the sitcoms got more and more press. It’s unclear what Disney was going to do next, but soon summer of 2007 came along...

PART 3: Gotta Make Summer Last

Disney Channel aired the premiere of High School Musical 2 and decided to air the first episode of PaF afterwards. As a result HSM 2 netted 17.6 million views and PaF 10.8 million views. We could easily deduce that eager HSM fans made up the clout of viewers, but that’s not to say the show couldn’t prove interesting to viewers anyway. In fact, Disney delayed its original 2007 release in the US to release it in February in multiple countries. Places such as Latin America, Brazil, Japan, France and Portugal got to experience the show right along with us. International promotion was rolled out which only netted PaF even more press. It became one of Japan’s most popular Western cartoons, it got wild promotion in Latin America and most of Europe(all around) made excellent dubs and gave it the lion’s share of time slots. This was a pretty good outcome all things considered.

Thus the cycle began. First came DVDs and games, then came interviews and guest spots, than movies, Disney park attractions, live events and then omnipresence.... scratch that last one, but you get the idea. The TV Movie itself was more or less the peak of the show. It remains the 10th most watched DCOM premiere of all time and the show remains one of the longest running animated series of the main Disney networks(DC, XD, and Junior). I think the last time Disney mass merchandised a TV cartoon this much was Lilo and Stitch(last one not already a franchise was Doug or Recess). The show is even part of the Marvel and Star Wars universes(non canonically of course)Even then, Disney elevated the show to new heights. It had everything Disney wanted; likeable protagonists, innocent motifs, enough songs to last for days, episodic adventures, and tons of mass marketing appeal. This simple show connected people across the world(if the Tumblr/DA fandoms for PaF were any indicator)through its mult-faceted music and rudimentary themes. While this show raised the bar, it also left the bar to be raised another notch by...

PART 4: Meet the Man of Mystery

In 2012, Gravity Falls premiered as a sneak peek behind DCOM Let it Shine. While not an instant ratings hit, it quickly became one of the most critically acclaimed Disney TV cartoons of all time. The spotlight quickly began to fade on the smartest stepbrothers around as new episodes were coming infrequently. While the numbers were still big enough to make Teen Titans Go mutter in awed jealousy, it still was becoming less of a force on the main network. However on Disney XD, it was still Adored by the Network. I remember how I felt watching day long marathons several times a month, sometimes without reason. Despite its mass appeal, Phineas and Ferb could be classified easily as a boy targeted program due to the protagonists and the subject matter. Until XD found its groove, they would continue to spam PaF for what felt like eons. To this day, they still occasionally air it in primetime slots.

The way I wrote this last part may sound cynical,jaded, and/or pessimistic. However, it’s written that way to emphasize another point. After the success of this series, Disney went from relying on a few filler shows to releasing a new show basically every year and truly giving them all the promotion they could. While not all series got the treatment we all wanted them to have, a lot more of them have come and gone to try to re-innovate and reinvigorate the brand. Phineas and Ferb (more or less) singlehandedly convinced Disney TV to put more stock in their animation division. Don’t know how many Fallers know this but Disney actually asked Alex Hirsch to make his pilot for them after seeing his work. They were actively seeking out new talent and new stories. Honestly, while Kick Buttowski and Pickle and Peanut got a lot of flac in the day, they were(to an extent) a sign that the House of mouse was trying to experiment and make something they liked to see. The latter especially seemed like a personal pet project of XD’s off sense of humor. 

I’m sure the networks would have reinvented their cartoons eventually, but PAF brought it out in the best way.  In a way the boys were kind of dc celebrities in their heyday. When you can summon a bunch of popular characters from the live action sitcoms to dance for possibly hours for a two minute music video in the name of a teal platypus made out of digital ink and pixels, that’s pretty special indeed.

CONCLUSION

Phineas and Ferb is my favorite animated series,explaining why I can info dump mostly from memory as I have in this post. While many have told me that it’s nothing special, to me it stands out as the brightest diamond in the rough and a shining testament to the duality of animation in general. Ten years from now, I hope that I can write better when I must wax sentimentality about my favorite cartoon show. Thanks to the cast, crew, creators, and fans for making summer last. See you at the 20th!

[jordandesta]

3 / 27 / 19 ━ your character’s mood for the day. 

01. pure water by mustard, migos. “give me the beat, i ride it like a jetski, so many bad bitches they harassin' me, they like me 'cause i rap and be with the athletes.”

02. fall threw by rich the kid, young thug, gunna. “pull off in that lambo quick, hundred racks and a tec in this bitch, quarter mil' on my necklaces, tell your bitch to stop texting me, i've been living so reckless.”

03. splashin by rich the kid. “i flip the money, got my check up, i'm flexing up, but i'm no wrestler, blue cheese pockets got the extras, i stack the money up like tetris, how I got two-fifty from my neck up? how I made it from the hood to a bent truck?”

04. pure cocaine by lil baby. “when your wrist like this, you don't check the forecast, every day it's gon' rain, made a brick through a brick, i ain't whip up shit, this pure cocaine, yeah.”

05. west coast by g eazy, blueface, allblack, yg. “you can't imagine the way that this cash feelin', don't know what's harder, the first or the last million, my last album took care of my grand children, you try to win, cracked you head on the glass ceiling.”

06. middle child by j. cole. “i just poured somethin' in my cup, i've been wantin' somethin' I can feel, promise I am never lettin' up, money in your palm don't make you real.”

07. legacy by off set, travis scott, 21 savage. “i can't hold nothing back, i won't hold you up, i can't fit all my pain in this styro' cup, always talk to myself 'cause it's only us, always deep in my mind, don't know who to trust.”

08. envy me by calboy. “i was fighting some demons, in the field, bitch, i'm deep in, i was raised in the deep end, i know ****** be sinking.”

3 / 28 / 19 ━ songs that remind your character of their children/child.

for jasmine isabelle desta;

01. violent crimes by kanye west. “father forgive me, i'm scared of the karma, 'cause now i see women as somethin' to nurture, not somethin' to conquer, i hope she like nicki, i'll make her a monster, not havin' menages, i'm just being silly.”

02. when i’m gone by eminem. “have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for not the expression, no, literally give an arm for, when they know they're your heart, and you know you are their armor, and you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her.”

03. may i have this dance by francis and the light, chance the rapper. “you've got your, your mother's eyes, you've got your, your grandmother's ring, you've got your daddy's discernment, giirl, you did your thing, oh, give me one more, one, two, one, two, always on beat.”

04. right by you by john legend. “and even when it all becomes too much, when you're growing old and feeling out of touch, listen to this song and just take care, and know that i will be there...yeah, i promise i will, little girl, i'm cryin'.”

for legend magesty desta;

05. i love you so much by dj khaled, chance the rapper. “whatever you want to do, i will support you forever, one thing i can promise you, i love you forever, you're my son, i love you so much, i love you, son, you're my biggest blessing, mommy, daddy, we love you, we love you forever, son, you're the greatest that ever did it.”

06. only one by kanye west.  “hello my only one, remember who you are, you got the world 'cause you got love in your hands, and you're still my chosen one, so can you understand? one day you'll understand, so hear me out, i won't go, no goodbyes, just hello.”

07. new day by jay z. “sins of a father make yo' life ten times harder, i just wanna take ya to a barber, bondin' on charters, all the shit that i never did, teach ya good values, so you cherish it, took me twenty six years to find my path, my only job is cuttin' the time in half.”

08. mockingbird by eminem. “i know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now, but hey, what daddy always tell you? straighten up little soldier, stiffen up that upper lip, what you crying about? you got me.”

3 / 29 / 19 ━ a playlist for your lover or ex lover.

01. worth it by yk osiris. “time is precious, baby girl, let's not let it go by, i just really wanna know, do you love me? don't lie, i know you felt alone, 'cause i been on the road, but i been doin' shows, i swear i ain't doin' you wrong”

02. swervin’ by a boogie wit da hoodie, 6ix9ine. “how you look so perfect on your worst days? double c your purses, you deserve it, ****** in your dm, they be thirsty, and in person, but you're curvin’, curvy little body, love your surface, i’m all on your body, make you nervous”

03. caramel by lloyd. “caramel, drippin' in my bed, yeah you know, what's going through my head, i'm thinking 'bout, getting with you tonight, i'm thinking 'bout, wifing you up for life”

04. kevin’s heart by j. cole. “she my number one, i don't need nothing on the side, said that i was done for good and don't want no more lies, but my phone be blowing up, temptations on my line, i stare at the screen a while before i press decline”

05. more/diamond ring by benny blanco, ty dolla $ign, 6lack. “you know your future brighter than a diamond ring, god damn, i put you on different things, god damn, you gon' make me break the bank, god damn...you're all I ever need, god damn, you mean so much to me”

06. ivy by frank ocean. “in the halls of your hotel, arm around my shoulder so i could tell, how much i meant to meant it sincere back then, we had time to kill back then, you ain't a kid no more, we'll never be those kids again”

07. mrs. variety by leon thoma, tayla parx. “mrs. variety, feels like i'm dating someone different every single week, it's like you know just how to play to every part of me, it's like you know just how to cater to my every need, mrs. variety”

08. cinderella by mac miller, ty dolla $ign. “you in my dreams that's why i sleep all the time, just to hear you say i love you, just to touch you, just to leave you behind, i told you, you don't have to worry, you'll be fine, this the type of thing i heard it happen all the time, yeah, I just wanna see you fly, because your fragrance got me faded, you be keepin' me high”

3 / 30 / 19 ━  songs that hit your character in the feels

01. power trip by j. cole, miguel. “got me up all night, all i'm singing is love songs, she got me up all night, constant drinking and love songs, she got me up all night, down and out with these love songs, she got me up all night, drown it out with these love songs, she got me up all night.”

02. practice by drake. “i can tell that money's got you working, got your body so wet, now we're finally here in person, i taste pain and regret, in your sweat, you've been waiting for me, i can tell that you been practicing.”

03. angel by the weeknd. “cause all I see are wings, i can see your wings, but i know what i am and the life i live, yeah, the life i live, and even though i sin, maybe we are born to live, but i know time will tell if we're meant for this, yeah, if we're meant for this.”

04. don’t by bryson tiller. “get in the ride, left hand is steering the other is gripping your thigh light up a spliff and get high, shawty you deserve what you been missing, looking at you i’m thinking he must be tripping, play this song for him tell him just listen.”

05. best mistake by layla russo, big sean. “hold up, i know love could be a beach with no shore, i done count to ten, lost my temper, and went back to four, i know sometimes it's hard to realize i'm the man that you need, i had a dream we branched out started a family tree.”

06. own it by drake. “next time we fuck, i don't want to fuck, i want to make love, next time we talk, i don't want to just talk, i want to trust, next time I stand tall I want to be standing for you.”

07. thinkin bout you by frank ocean. “yes, of course i remember, how could I forget? how you feel? and though you were my first time, a new feel, it won't ever get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive.”

08. come and see me by partynextdoor, drake. “i'll admit i'm sorry when i feel i'm truly sorry, things change, people change, feelings change too, never thought the circumstances woulda changed you.”

3 / 31 / 19 ━  a playlist for your character’s best friend. ( squad )

01. ni**as in paris by jay z, kanye west.

02. look at me now by chris brown, lil wayne, busta rhymes. 

03. rack city by tyga. 

04. swimming pools (drank) by kendrick lamar. 

05. gold digger by kanye west, jamie foxx. 

06. v.3005 by childish gambino.

07. the motto by drake, lil wayne.

08. bedrock by young money, lloyd.

4 / 01 / 19 ━ road trip playlist

01. hey jude by the beatles.

02. mr. jones by counting crows.

03. wonderwall by oasis.

04. hurricane by bob dylan.

05. mr. brightside by the killers. 

06. scar tissue by the red hot chili peppers.

07. all star by smashmouth.

08. stacy’s mom by fountains of wayne.

4 / 02 / 19 ━ three songs that make your character cry… every. single. time.

01. acid rain by chance the rapper. “my big homie died young; just turned older than him, i seen it happen, i seen it happen, i see it always, he still be screaming, i see his demons in empty hallways, i trip to make the fall shorter.”

02. perkys calling by future. “Iineed better thoughts, i need better vibes, focus on the top and let my ***** slide, i need more advice and ain't got no time, hustlin' do it right, feel like i waited a life time.”

03. u by kendrick lamar. “you shoulda filled that black revolver blast a long time ago, and if those mirrors could talk it would say "you gotta go", and if i told your secrets, the world'll know money can't stop a suicidal weakness.”

4 / 03 / 19 ━ free day, we just wanna see you be creative. ( throwbacks )

01. ambitonz az a ridah by 2pac. 

02. gin and juice by snoop dog, daz dillinger  

03. all falls down by kanye west, syleena johnston.

04. mrs. officer by lil wayne, bobby v, kidd kidd.

05. i’m n luv (wit a stripper) by t-pain, mike jones.

06. ms. jackson by outkast.

07. smack that by akon, eminem.

08. laffy taffy by d4l.

[prettylittlemadworld-blog]

Goodnight, Boss.

So, it looks like I've never mentioned it, but I'm a Cat lover. Although I'm not so sure about where it came from, maybe it came from my sister, whatsoever. I always have this compassions for stray dogs and cats on the road. I feel very emotion towards these living creatures. I rather hit human, if I were to crash my car. Human, they are pretending that they own this world. Human builds every road, constructs every bricks and tries to control each others and other lives as well. But those dogs and cats on the street, they are just trying to live their lives, to survive through this HUMAN WORLD that doesn't even give them a space of their own. People abandon them like they are just one piece of plastic bag, hit 'em with a car and let 'em rot on the road, alone, no grave, no one cries for them. Eff you human. Okie, still, I'm also a human. I honestly can not say that I'm better than any others, but I made a promise to myself that I'll help the injured cat if I ever found any of them on the street. But when I found one, I did not. Unlike my kind sister...*twisted*

There are a lot of cats in my village. Well, I think it started with our family raising one of our own in the house then comes the others later. Many comes injured, pregnant and hungry. Some are full, survive, live well, but some ended up sadly like Boss.

Boss, is a gangsta male cat whom never been taken care of properly, but we feed him everyday still not so sure if that’s counted as ‘taken care of’. I've always seen him with his lovers, a black pregnant female cat lol. Oh yes, Boss, he was the Don Huan of this area. Nobody goes up against his toughness. And when you look at him, he does look like a gangster leader, because of the brown mark on his face. It looks like a scar haha. That's why sometimes we call him 'The scar face'... Oh yeah, come to think about it. We didn't name him before. We just call him whatever we wanted to. Mom didn't want us to feel too  attached with him. We have enough cats to take care of and it keeps mom very busy and being worried sick. Even though Mom did forbid us from feeding him, we, including mom, fed him anyway. I never saw him fought with anyone. Mostly, I heard it from Mom. So, the only connection between me and Boss was just, me seeing him eating in the house and then running off right away after he finished or whenever I go near...

He was still fine last week. As I remember sister pointed to the front house, telling me to watch Boss eating inside, and I mumbled to her "He always come to eat in the house". But on Sunday, normal Sunday when I was having dinner, celebrating for Pete's birthday, Sis took him to hospital. According to an ass hole old-hack, who lives opposite to our house, who walked to my sister, as I said before her love for cat is enormous and anyone can see her kind heart for them, and said "Boss looks sick. Maybe he was poisoned." And then when my sister started to be worried and tried to catch the fierce mafia cat of the village alone by herself. He just walked back inside his house. Like a bitch. So, my sister had to ask for a help from motorcycle driver and the security guards to help catching Boss. I will never mention about this old man again, disgusting.

I didn't want to say it, but this is a very very very sad sad story to tell.

Boss was twitching a little bit before sis took him to one famous hospital, Kasetsart University Animals Hospital. It was 9pm, the emergency room was full with almost 40 injured pets. Veterinarians are limited and they were very busy. Boss must be very scared. He was as fierce as he used to be. No one dare to touch him so the doctor tried to knock him out with a couple dose of Anesthesia. He seems calm at first, until 2-3am, Boss started to twitch very hard in the bucket for an hour or two, without knowing the reason why. Sister was there alone, she must be very panic. She send me a message, "Boss is twitching non-stop. He probably won't survive." But the miracle always happen to those with a willing heart. Boss stop twitching and got sedated finally in the morning and he was unconscious ever since.

I got a call from sis, after being on watch for more than 10 hours, asking for help to watch over Boss at the hospital while she came back to pack stuffs for her summer holiday at the beach on the next day. Because hospital cages were full, we couldn't leave him at hospital, in fact, we couldn’t leave him at all. I knew I couldn't say no. When I got to the hospital, it's another world. The small room was packed with sick dogs and cats, most of them were bandaged and surrounded by saline bag. The owners all look so tired and worried. The atmosphere can make you feel down for a minute... my sister was there alone all night. “Will I ever be able to do the same?” I doubt ed myself.

In my watch, Boss was just sleeping on the table, slowly slightly breathing. Poor thing. I was confused of what I should do, or whom I should ask for help or medication, or how long he has to stay like that, or when will the doctor comes to check on him... if the doctor ever gonna come at all? Me and sis, we both knew nothing and doctor kept busy all the time. But after reaching the 18th hour, we decided we have to move him to somewhere else, somewhere that there’s somebody watching over him all the time. So we told the doctor, asked for the last check and the transcription to make Boss transferring to other hospitals. It was not that easy. Boss's temperature had gone down. He's cold... Doctor brought out the machine that could warm him up. It took more hours to stay there. We didn't know if he would get any warmer again, but we waited anyway. Gotta admit it, his willing heart was very strong. Finally his warm heart got warm up, so we could take him to the better place. The last place that he had to be.

At the new hospital... me and sister, we were so relieved. Although it was expensive hospital and not a single doctor could tell us about his condition. Nobody knew if he could be cured. But at least, we got him to be in the doctor's hand 24 hours. The next day, sis went for the beach and I promised to take care of him after work.

I wish I had gone sooner...

During the day, I called to check on him. Doctor said he wasn't in a good shape, but he’s still feeling pain and that means he's still fighting it, I guess. I tried to live my day normally, until sis called and we talked about what we're gonna do next. Honestly, some thoughts are about money, his symptom requires medicine to stop the pain, the twitching, without medicine he would be so much more painful...

How long should we let him suffer like this? How much more can we spend on him? How could we help him? continue with this state? or let him have a good long sleep for once?

These thoughts got me down for the rest of the day. I couldn't think of any answers for these questions no matter how much I tried... Until... 10.55 pm, I got to the hospital, didn't know that the hospital allows visiting only till 11pm. But... I didn't need more than 5 minutes... when I got there Boss looked so painful it hurts. The tears were falling like crazy. I kept calling his name 'Boss', telling him to hang on, "I'll help you. I won't let you be in pain for long. Hang on Boss. You're doing so great. You're okay now. Fighting, keep fighting." It's fucking hurt. And was nothing to do with physical pain, The whole thing fucked up my heart. I couldn't think straight. I knew all I wanted was, for him, to feel no pain. Eventually, I had all the answers.

How long? As long as he fights for it of course. Money? I can find money. I can ask for some donations, I can. How I can help? I can help him fight as long as he wants, that's it.

Although, it took me an hour before coming up with these answers, I knew it would be worth it. I decided to come with a plan, I’d go back again on the next afternoon to talk to another doctor and take some photos post it on animal shelter facebook pages asking for donations. So, after I was able to calm my self with a plan, I went back home with swollen eyes and tired heart. I was down and damaged. I fell asleep right away, forgot to charge my cell. That's why I missed the news. Was it bad news or good news? I’m still debating that in my mind.

If you’d ever experienced the same situations like this, when the doubt consumes your heart and mind. Whether we have done right or wrong.. Did we bring him to die? Did he better be by himself? There are no right answers to these questions existing in this world. Yes, we might be the one that brought him to his dead sooner than it should. We might make him more suffered than he should be. We might should have leave him alone and let him heal himself or maybe die somewhere he wanted to. But one thing for certain, we've done everything in order to make Boss still alive... with a good intention.

Boss passed away around 2.30am. Not so long after I left the hospital that night.

Maybe he was just waiting for me to tell him it's okay to go. Maybe he was just waiting for someone to say goodbye.

Well, guess I‘d never know.

Boss, I hope you feel not the pain, but the love sister gave you, all the wishes for you to live. You're the strongest cat I've ever known. You've done great. I will forever remember you, Boss. Even though we never played together, but one day I'll go play you with there. I love you. You’re da Boss.

Hope it is heaven, here with us and there with God. Goodnight Boss.