#mostly because she has no where else to go

[spookysshadow]

TobiIzu AU where Butsuma and his Hatake wife have an arranged marriage - one that was arranged to keep the Hatake-Senju alliance strong after a retaliation battle broke out after several years of failed negotiations/resource sharing.

That is what his mom tells him, at least, that to prevent the Senju from fighting a battle on two fronts and the Hatake from losing any more members of their dwindling clan they agreed to marry the two eldest of the clans together.

Except that Tobirama’s parents have a habit of being downright mean and argumentative when in the same room, only to then turn around tell their children how much they admire and respect each other, not only as spouses but as warriors.

Tobirama, ever the inquisitive one, asks his mom how she can respect dad if they can never be in the same room without arguing?

Her answer consists of a long winded explanation that basically says they speak with swords and actions, then words - that when they argue or spar, especially back when their clans were tempting each other into fights at their borders, that they were getting to know the other and it’s why, despite it being an arranged marriage, she loves her husband and finds him worthy of her hand and their children.

Little Tobirama takes all this in and comes to the logical conclusion that fighting the Uchiha must be a mating ritual of sorts and that the fight continues because no one has found a compatible match yet.

Naturally he seeks to rectify this. He does so by scribbling down his plan in a blank scroll that his brother gave him for his 4th birthday. The plans consists of several very important steps:

1 - get stronger

2 - get sent to the battlefield to meet potential suitors

3 - engage with several of them, preferably his age or up to Anija's age (who's 4 years older than him)

4 - single out one Uchiha who's fighting style he enjoys and respects, and who in turn seems to respect his fighting style.

5 - commence courtship via multiple battles/skirmishes until both parties are satisfied with the skills they've seen and then

6 - get married and stop the war

Not bad for a four year old child and his Anija seems to agree with his plan (mostly because he was only half listening and heard - peace with Uchiha and nothing else)

And so he goes, little Tobirama trains long and hard to acquire the necessary skills to become strong and get sent to the battlefield. When he losses his younger siblings to the Uchiha, it just makes him more determined to go and find his match to end this stupid war.

His first encounter with the Uchiha, of course, is at the river where he crosses blades with Izuna Uchiha. The boy is a bit whiny and he worships his weird, spiky haired older brother that Anija is enamoured with, but he stance is strong. And when he gets home, thoughts swirling about Izuna and he catches his expression in the mirror, he recognizes the same face his mom would make when thinking about their father.

Ah, he thinks then, A potential candidate for him to consider.

Next time they meet is on the actual battlefield. And despite trying to find other Uchiha to fight, in order to widen his sample size, Izuna appears before him and steals his attention. Meets him blow for blow, anticipates his moves and keeps his attention until someone calls a retreat. Tobirama finds it only a bit annoying, but at the same time can appreciate a potential suitor who is secure in what they want.

After 3 or 4 failed attempts at fighting someone else, Tobirama decides that Izuna must truly be serious about pursuing a courtship with him. And Tobirama, in turn, is touched that someone wants to court him so much after only meeting him a handful of times. It would feel insulting to not return Izuna's courtship with the same seriousness - so he does.

Tobirama spends hours training and inventing jutsus just to fight Izuna. When he meets him on the battlefield he praises the other's skill, compliments him on any new jutsus or tactics he brings to the field, and once even comments on how the way Izuna uses his Sharingan is truly masterful.

Needless to say, Izuna is confused as to why his self-proclaimed rival who he hates is saying all these things to him. And worse, why he's kind of into it. Which, of course, just makes him train even harder to catch Tobirama off guard. He will defeat the White Demon! For his clan and for his sanity!

Of course every new advancement brings forth more praise and admiration from Tobirama. Especially when Izuna brings out his new lightening based technique and lands, a severe hit on Tobirama. Not enough to be fatal, but enough that Hashirama calls a retreat. And instead of anger or fear, Tobirama looks up at Izuna with a fondness that has Izuna seriously questioning the man's sanity.

Lying on the infirmary bed while Anija fixes him, Tobirama decides that the injury must be Izuna's way of proposing. And he should answer in kind. Thus, the hiraishin is born. A whole new untapped branch of ninjutsu, invented by a man in love. At least, that's how Tobirama views it. And he's nothing if not a perfectionist.

The last battle of the Uchiha vs Senju happens (not that anyone but Tobirama is aware it will be the last) and Tobirama uses Hiraishin on his beloved. There is a brief moment of panic in his chest when he realizes that if Izuna dies then he won't be able to marry him and it increases when Izuna refuses Hashirama's help. But, Tobirama quickly settles that mental conundrum by assuming that it means Izuna only wants Tobirama to heal him.

So, Tobirama, a man in love, breaks into the Uchiha compound and sets about fixing up his fiance. Which is what he tells Madara, his soon to be brother-in-law, when he finds him as he's finishing up the procedure.

Izuna wakes up to a healed side, the news that his fiance is resting in the guest room and an interrogation from his older brother asking why he never bothered to mention he was courting the White Demon? When had his obsession turned into romantic feelings? Did you at least explain to him that he'd have to marry in?

All Izuna can say is: What?

Both brothers. after a short conversation, realize that neither of them have any idea what Tobirama is talking about. However, Madara is not above using this to get a ceasefire and Izuna is morbidly curious to see what he can get away with if his so-called fiance is so in love with him.

In the end, they do get a ceasefire and they do get married, and no one has the courage to inform Tobirama that is perception of the war was way off base. All the while, Tobirama is patting himself on the back for a job well done.

[ginger-wayne]

TB* pride HCs pt 2!! now with more voidwalker!

yelena:

-will be spam-posting pride memes and infographics all through june, and honestly the rest of the year as well.

-bishova real and true spotted both living in new york. lots of fans shipping them before it becomes social media official.

-lots of fans shipping ava and yelena as well, because they often jokingly flirt and play into it, but they’re just friends. (shoutout starrlight nation i see u tho)

alexei:

-love him, but he is in fact cishet. that’s okay though! he’s the biggest ally ever and will repost almost everything yelena does.

-starts calling himself “THE GUARDIAN OF LESBIANS” and then a bunch of other sexyalities get tagged on so his display name ends up being super long like “THE GUARDIAN OF LESBIANS AND NONBINARY AND BISEXUALS AND ASEXUALS AND TRANS MEN AND TRANS WOMEN AND GAYS AND EVERYBODY ELSE”

-gives a discount on limo services to queer/trans people

ava:

-grew up in a lab with not much exposure to romance but now identifies as bisexual and nonbinary, will use just about any pronoun you feel like calling her.

-super casual about it, just randomly mentions being interested in people other than men during an interview and surprises a lot of people.

-doesn’t post as much as yelena or alexei in general, but will repost a good infographic of go off about a bad political take if she sees one.

-leaves the thirstiest comments on her friends ig posts without blinking but when it comes to an actual crush, she tends to overcompensate by turning up the sass even more

bucky:

-has been gay since the 1940s. watched silently as the world changed around him, and was so grateful he gets to be free in a time where it’s legal.

-lost the only man he thought he’d ever love (fuck you endgame steve) but found someone else in the process. sambucky we love you.

-tries to pass pro-lgbtq legislation but he’s lowkey a flop congressman so it doesn’t always work. will still be a really strong advocate for rights on socials and in speeches, parades, etc

-relationship with sam isn’t exactly public, and the whole name thing puts a strain on them, but they’ll pull through. they always do.

now do a sad one! okay!

john:

-canonically grew up in the deep south in a town literally named after a confederate general. yeah he’s got some deep-seated issues to work through. being friends with lemar helped him become more open-minded growing up, especially after lemar came out and made john realize that not all gay people were exactly the same.

-but being with olivia since high school, he never had to confront the part of himself that wanted to go against the traditional life he was taught to value. after spending time with the TBs though? seeing them all so comfortable makes him think it might actually be time to embrace it.

-will repost some of yelena/ava/others content in support, but mostly stays quiet on social media. unfortunately still reads everything about himself while lurking.

-comes out as bi to bob very randomly and awkwardly one night. bob just kinda shrugs and goes “okay, cool” but he’s actually really flattered john chose him out of everyone to come out to first. john came out to bob first because he wants to kiss him.

-he denies having a crush to himself for so long, but every time bob smiles at him, his heart tightens. he becomes a weird combo of sassier than usual and also uncharacteristically complimentary towards bob. basically, it’s obvious, and everyone on the team knows it. they call them out for constantly flirting via play fighting and both go red.

bob:

-pansexual with a stronger preference for men, genderqueer. surprisingly confident about it given that he’s confident about literally nothing else. has taken so much abuse for it and everything else about him that he’s kind of immune to anything nasty anybody could say to him online. already worked through his insecurities about his sexuality and is just chilling. has the most dating experience out of all of them, somehow.

-he has social media, but he tries to stay off of it as much as possible. will post one thing randomly and then stay offline for another 2 months. all of his reposts are in support of the other TBs though, he loves his friends. very occasionally puts a really funny gay meme or reaction image on his story and the people beg for more of his humor.

-thinks he caught feelings for john first. he didn’t. by the time bob realizes their fights have turned into playful bickering and he’s the only one john buys chocolate chips for to put in his pancakes, his teammate has already fallen for him a long time ago. john is strong and blond and bob stares at him far too often.

-ends up being the one to admit his feelings first, somewhat accidentally and in a very bob way. he’s all panicked before john leans in and kisses him. after that, the two are rarely separated. it’s not the easiest relationship; they’ve both got a lot of baggage, but they care so much for the other person that they’re both willing to work through it together.

[loathemetc]

Some thoughts on leitmotifs in Deltarune Chapters 3 and 4.

Now that I've played the game and had time to let my thoughts stir a bit, I think it's about time I start getting them out there. Obviously there are a lot of musical motifs throughout the game but I wanna talk about three of them specifically.

The first would be the lost girl motif. While in Chapter 2 it was mostly just used in direct relation to Noelle, we see it being used a lot more for emotional moments when she's not around in chapters 3 and 4. Most notably it features in Raise Up Your Bat, the song from the rhythm game segment. Tenna talks about December and the music video channel she used to watch right before this, and the song was first mentioned in the "currently listening to" section on Noelle's blog, implying that this is an in universe song that Dess was a fan of. The fact that said song features the motif therefore makes me think that it's the origin of the motif. Lost Girl plays at such emotional moments because in a way, it's the ghost of Dess's favorite song haunting the narrative. And I just think that's neat.

Second is the so-called freedom motif that plays in direct relation to the secret bosses. In Chapters 1 and 2 this plays in THE WORLD REVOLVING and BIG SHOT, the secret boss fight themes for both Jevil and Spamton respectively, as well as The Circus and Dialtone, two other songs related to them. In Chapter 4 again this motif plays in the fight with the Hammer of Justice, in the song called... Hammer of Justice. And again this is a secret boss fight, where the "Air crackles with freedom." Pretty straight forward.

But strangely, this motif doesn't obviously play in Chapter 3. There's a short string of notes in the Knight's battle theme, Black Knife, that sounds kind of like it? Which would make sense, given the Knight holds a shadow crystal just like those other three bosses, but it's not enough for me to really make an conclusion on. But the Knight having the shadow crystal and no one else in chapter 3 having one is interesting right? Almost as if it's the one who's been handing them out, but since this whole chapter is about waiting for the Knight to arrive, there was no time for it to give a shadow crystal to Ramb.

Weirdly though, it does play a second time in Chapter 4. And this is a double spoiler warning, if you've beaten Chapter 4 but haven't reloaded your save after beating it, go do that right now, you're missing out on something major if you don't and I'm going to be talking about it.

Went and did that? Alright, cool.

So that was a pretty fun extra boss right? Good time was had by all. But you probably noticed that despite being some sort of secret boss, there was no freedom motif in the song Catswing, and no shadow crystal. Which again makes sense, these are just more Chapter 3 darkners. So why am I even talking about this?

Well, one of the mini games you unlock after this, BATTAT, has its own song called Air Waves. And this one... does, have the freedom motif...? Which is weird right. Still no shadow crystal, and this isn't even a boss fight. But there's that song. The only weird thing about this game is that it does seem to be an actual fleshed out version of the cat clicking mini game from the sweepstakes update and just like that game, the IMAGE_FRIEND smile can appear here too. Which is certainly weird, but the IMAGE_FRIEND smile appears twice in Chapter 3 and once in Chapter 2 with no freedom motif attached.

I could make a guess here, like maybe the Mike conspiracy board calling direct attention to Kris's dislike of Asgore's conspiracy board is a tease for a real Mike secret boss in chapter 5, but I was kind of under the impression that the giant realistic microphone was the real Mike, so I don't really know.

It's worth noting that the mini games names seem to be french words, Jongler and Pluey being Jongleur and Pluis, french for Juggler and Rain respectively. My french has never been that good though so while Battat definitely sounds like a french word I can't really put my finger on it. It's probably also just a word that describes the mini game though. Probably doesn't mean anything deep but if it secretly does hey at least I mentioned it.

Okay that was too many paragraphs about the freedom motif. Air Waves is weird. Really damn good track though. The drum line is also like one note off from Bad Apple's which is funny. Moving on!

So notably while the freedom motif is tied to the secret bosses, Chapter 3 does have a secret boss track that lacks the motif. BURNING EYES, the theme of the fight with... Eram? The shadow mantle? It's hard to know really whether to trust a track name or sprite file name on what to call this thing because the game gives us nothing to work with really. It's a strange and irregular boss battle, with Zelda-like gameplay and against a character we can't even identify at all. But despite that, the theme does give us something to work with, a motif. Just not the freedom motif.

It's... Power of NEO.

And I know what you're thinking, I thought we were done with Spamton NEO. And I think we are. But Spamton NEO is not the only reference to NEO in Deltarune. Jevil, Queen, and Tenna all mention it. THE TRUE AND NEO CHAOS, Noelle creating a neo dark fountain, NEO shows, NEO programs. Queen and Tenna use it just like a stand-in for new but that's what makes the choice of words so conspicuous.

You could argue, sure, that Jevil, Queen, and Tenna are all characters who have history with Spamton. The fight for the shadow mantle even comes soon after a scene where Tenna talks about this. But I think there's something a lot bigger here than just an Undertale reference. I think we gotta ask ourselves something.

What IS the power of NEO?

In Undertale the motif plays twice I believe. In the fights with Undyne the Undying and Mettaton NEO, both people determined to protect everyone from being killed by you. Now Mettaton did a pretty poor job at that but it's the thought that counts, right? You could make the argument that the power of NEO is determination, Queen even uses the word when referring to Noelle creating a dark fountain, the power to create, to make new?

But does this really work for where this motif plays in Deltarune? In the case of BURNING EYES, definitely not. BIG SHOT is interesting though because it plays in two contexts, and the weird route context could arguably put Spamton in the same spot as Undyne, but his motivations are far more selfish.

But let's try looking at it from another perspective. For a long time people have suggested that MEGALOVANIA isn't Sans's theme but rather the theme of the player, or Chara, or whatever. A theme of violence, of malice. But what if that's actually Power of NEO? After all, in Undertale it only plays against bosses on the no mercy route. In Deltarune, not only is Spamton a violent malicious and selfish person, but you're also forced to fight him on the game's own version of the no mercy route. And of course, Spamton is pretty famous for comparing Kris to himself.

The fight for the shadow mantle has dialogue that is all the way up this alley. "There! That's what I wanted to see. Flickering red, like pretty little flames... Your eyes can't hide it Kris. Without play... The knife grows dull. Haha... well, enough of that. We both have work to do." Getting the Shadow Mantle and using it to get through the Knight fight even puts you on the path to being able to kill the titan spawn instead of purifying them, so I've heard. I haven't actually beaten the Knight yet. I'm sorry it's really hard. But if that's the work that has to be done... The mantle or eram or whatever even accuses Kris of enjoying what we did in the weird route, knowing they could say it wasn't really them. It's hard to say how accurate of a character judgement this is, though. Because genuinely what the fuck is this fight. I'm losing my mind.

It's honestly really hard to conclude anything at this point about what the power of NEO is exactly, but I feel like we'll be hearing about it more in the future. It curiously isn't mentioned at all in Chapter 4 from what I can remember, but it's also a chapter with several main antagonists who don't speak at all and a secret boss who didn't even look at his shadow crystal, so.

NEO means new, of course, we can't forget that when thinking about this. I believe there was someone who wanted us to create a new future with them...?

Curiouser and curiouser.

Of course I'm also obligated to mention that the IMAGE_FRIEND smile appears in the shadow mantle fight as well, what even is up with that thing. It's pink and yellow eyes tie directly to Spamton's glasses and the buttons on the oddcontroller, and the Hammer of Justice mentions Chapter 5 will be about a field of pink and gold, so... I guess we'll find out.

MINOR EDIT: Apparently on the Switch 2 version of the game, the mini games are slightly different, with Battat and Jongler being replaced by Air Waves and Main Performance. Obviously the song "Air Waves" plays in the game Air Waves here instead of Battat. As far as I can tell the IMAGE_FRIEND smile doesn't appear here at all, but it is by far the most pink and yellow of all the mini games. So this doesn't really change much but it's definitely worth noting, so I did.

[faineantgrl]

roaring knight character analysis

note: i will try to use they due to the fact we do not know the character yet, but i will be using "she" to break up any repetitiveness. at the end i will be talking about why this all points away from carol but i will not implicate anyone else.

video sources: x x x

we're going to skip over chapter 1 and 2 mentions & before tenna's destruction because ngl I don't think they're very important to this specific analysis i'm doing. that would moreso be plot/intentions and i want to analyze the knight themself.

Pre-CHP3 battle

so already just the way that tenna is sliced is interesting.

as others have pointed out, this is nigh impossible of a pose. so either the roaring knight somehow perfectly hit tenna whilst facing the other way, or hit tenna, then turned around to strike a foreboding pose. either way, we have already been given a flare for the dramatic.

they then hit this pose. now i've heard it's crying but when they're turning into this pose they're seen smiling for a few frames.

so, if they are doing some sort of crying thing, it's definitely on purpose to creep out the lightners more.

im not gonna flood this with screenshots but susie interrupts them trying to take toriel. they back off, but as seen in later chapters, and even later on in the boss fight, they didn't really have a reason to. they could have just blasted susie or something.

then they do Whatever This Is. if we didnt already establish the above you'd think this means they're Pissed, but the lightners aren't really a threat. they never do this again so it seems... it's just to freak out the lightners again.

Non-attack options

any action that is done to try and talk to the roaring knight does, essentially, Jack Shit. the roaring knight does not respond. i do not think this means the knight doesn't care to, as shown above they LOVE being a Freak, but rather that they... kinda can't! this should be kept in mind as we continue.

the everything else in battle

during the attack where the knight splits the Battle Box™️ they continue to strike poses

and then theres this attack

which i can only describe as Entirely Unnecessary. theres leftover code for more combination attacks like these which i can only imagine were left out because they were a little too batshit crazy to survive.

they also overkill the characters, up to -999 hp. you simply just don't gotta do that, mx knight.

and then...

they do. That.

"KB, didn't you just say they don't do the weird body contortion thing again-" yeah! they didn't! if you look closely That Is An Entirely Different Form Than Before (mostly in the "ribs")

and that final dramatic flair! they're not just putting on their best performance for the lightners, but you too!

and then they go "ougofhf... im so Weak,,,,,, you should HIT ME. it would be REALLY BAD if you HIT ME"

"oh no im dyingggg oh gosh-"

"-SIKE."

susie here makes a mistake of falling AGAIN for it

and then gets hit SO HARD that there isn't even an animation

then they get ralsei

and then we get darkness before seeing them "knighting" kris

this change in the pattern intentionally tricks the player into thinking "oh well they're not going to kill kris, maybe they're working togeth-"

SIKE AGAIN

i cannot express to you how funny it is in retrospect how many times the roaring knight tricks the player in one cutscene. like, they know exactly how the player is seeing everything and is using that to not only be super dramatic but to trick them several times IN A ROWWW thats CRAZY

once again we have another moment of the knight letting susie interrupt for unknown reasons. not only is my girl not a threat to the knight normally but she is DOOOWN. either the knight is trying to once again trick the viewer or she has a soft spot for susie. i mean who can blame her everyone does

and now here's her perfectly dodging attacks to show how much of a farce that battle was

and then the roaring knight turns into a bird. i dont know what thats about im not going to lie.

CHP3 conclusion

in conclusion of chapter 3: the knight is a dramatic af trickster who loves a good pose. not only are they putting on a show for the lightners, they're also putting on a show for the player. i almost wonder if they were spending all of chapter 3 getting antsy like "i gotta. i gotta get my freak on. whats taking so long i need to get silly with it"

CHP4 first cutscene

they are, quite literally, waiting for the player. theyve just been standing her this whole time, presumably.

their mouth turns into an eye because of course it does

and then they do THIS. which is entirely unnecessary. as i've said many times.

also note the change in color: before their overlay light thing was pink, but now its red. either they decided pink wasn't threatening enough, or thought pink overlay on blue wasn't gonna fly, and either of these show just how much WORK they put into the act.

and they also just attack susie here for fun i guess since she doesn't actually get downed

and once again they're on that PLAYER TRICKING GRIND

one sword at a time, even if fast, is possible to deal with

nevermind.

the knight also tricks the lightners and player AGAIN because they actually made TWO DARK WORLDS in the church and put a LOCK on the DOOR. IDIOT.

this is also an important moment for the knight's character. it seems they were entirely not planning to make the titan until susie says this. this is SO EXTREMELY PETTY. it's SASSY. it's FABULOUS.

they literally smirk and wait for ralsei to BEG like a cat about to push an item off a counter, waiting for their owner to get upset about the incoming doom before actually doing it.

ive also heard that the titan battle is harder if you end up defeating the roaring knight in chapter 3. the pettiness. the trickery. i literally have no choice but to stan etc etc

IN CONCLUSION

this roaring knight is a DIVA. she is WORKING IT. they are SASSY, DRAMATIC, A TRICKSTER, AND PETTY. they are PERFECT.

...that's also why it can't be carol. carol is the literal antithesis to whatever THIS is. she is no fun allowed. and there is only fun in the roaring knight's ball-court. carol is the harshness of a deadly winter storm, the roaring knight is the snow day spent throwing snowballs at your friends.

minnesota girl i'm incomprehensible daisy dukes winter coat on top ice-kissed skin so cold i'll freeze your popsickle oh woaoaooa oh woahahahah

[multimockingjay]

Hiii how are u??

Do u mind if I make a lil finnick fic request? :>

Soo, I was watching the 3rd movie and I swearrr, it breaks my heart seeing him so depressed, sooo what if we got lucky and we got out of the arena with him, would his mood be any better with his lover by his side in district 13?? 👀

I just wanna keep him some company:(( he's so sad and aloneee.

And please make it all cute and fluffyyy, I'm a sucker for fluff istg (tho you last fic was soo good the angst was on point and it made me cry so much omg)

Love u pookie, byebyeee♡♡

HII, I'm doing alright how are you? It's so hard watching poor Finnick in Mockingjay (sam claflin, the actor you are) so I hope this is what you were looking for xo :)

In Good Company

Finnick Odair x reader

Summary: He doesn’t miss the world above ground when he has you.

Word Count: .9k

Y/n sat across the table from Finnick in the dim cafeteria, which had mostly emptied out due to it being so late. Finnick had been injured in the arena when the ceiling blew, so he was slow to do things, but it didn’t bother Y/n the slightest. She had been lucky to be far enough away from the tree that she didn’t get caught in the explosion, and she was happy to be his chaperone

“You don’t have to babysit me at every meal, I can eat without supervision,” Finnick grumbled, scooping another spoonful of soup into his mouth.

“We have had nearly every meal together for the past seven years. Why do you suddenly have a problem?” Y/n cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Plus, it’s not like I have anywhere else to go down here.”

“I should have saved them.” This was the third time in the past 48 hours he had brought them up, Peeta and Johanna. He blamed himself for not saving them before the Capitol got them. His head dropped to his hands.

“Will you quit beating yourself up? It makes it hard to stay attracted to you when all you’ve done since coming down here is bathe in your guilt.” She joked, but then switched to a more serious tone. “It’s not your fault, Finn, it isn’t anybody's fault.” She reached across the table, lowering his hands off his face and holding them in hers. “And if they had been killed, we would’ve heard so, there’s hope.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He turned his head slightly to kiss her knuckles. “I understand how rough it must be to see me like this.”

“Rough doesn’t even begin to cover it. You were more lively in the arena when we thought we were both going to die.” He let out a small laugh at her.

The next few days passed better than usual. Finnick had a little more pep in his step, staying close to Y/n because they only knew each other down there. Other than Katniss and Beetee, everyone was a stranger, but they were trying to make the best of it.

“You’re going to break my legs.” Finnick laughed from his wheelchair. It was the middle of the night, and neither of them could sleep, so Y/n stole him from his room, and they rode around the empty halls.

“I just love pushing you around, honey.” She wheeled him through the corridors, making sound effects around every corner. 

“I can walk just fine.”

“But that’s less fun.” She leaned down, pouting in his peripheral vision. He laughed, trying to cover it as a scoff. “You can admit you’re having a little fun; this is better than rotting in a bed you can’t sleep in.”

“I can agree this is better than that.” He reached the wheels spinning the chair around to face her, grabbed her waist gently, coaxing her into his lap, and continued down the hall. “Maybe I just needed you to join me though.”

Every night they couldn’t sleep they found some other adventure to get stuck in. Everything from exploring where they keep their weapons to finding the food stash and taking the good stuff, it was the small things that kept them afloat in the vast sea of suffering surrounding them. They had each other to make sure the smile never faded beyond repair.

“I want to ask President Coin if we can go above ground. There's no light above ground, so we should be able to watch a real sunset. Oh! Or maybe we star gaze?” Y/n just talked, shoveling her dinner into her mouth. She and Finnick sat alone at a small table while life bustled around them.

Finnick just stared at her with adoration; he was so entranced with her in any situation, his love could find something to look forward to. It was one of the many things he loved most about her; sometimes, he’d slip into a bad place, and she would be the only person to pull him out.

“That would be nice.” He replied softly.

“You are healed enough to climb up there right?” She looked up at him making sure.

“Yeah, I should be good.”

“Amazing, maybe after this I’ll go find Katniss and see if she can get me in with madame.”

Without fault, she did; three days later, Y/n was opening the hatch to the outside world.

“Never thought I would miss fresh air.” She said, helping Finnick out into the fading light. “Let’s hurry so we can catch the sunset.” She walked quickly out, trying to find a clearing in the trees, when she did in fact stumble upon it, the perfect place. Like it was meant for them, she and Finnick stood on the edge of a cliff facing west as the sun danced on the horizon. She beamed, clearly happy with the place she found. 

“You got it?” Finnick asked, watching Y/n pull out a large blanket and unfold it on the patch of grass.

“Yep,” She stood up looking at him and gesturing to the blanket silently asking if he liked the spot as much as she did.

“Perfect.” He sat down first, leaning back on his hands. Y/n sat down next to him and stretched her neck up to kiss him before turning her head to rest it on his shoulder. He stared down at her like he was memorizing every shade of color in her eyes as the setting sun perfectly framed her. He couldn’t imagine the world without her; she was his world.

“The view is breathtaking,” She murmured after a long period of quiet.”

“It really is,” He cooed back, never taking his eyes off her.

[mary-james-world-of-shames]

Batfam as Lilo and Stitch(Revised)

So, okay, I cleaned up the idea from this post better. Where he's De-Aged Tim, with the premise being like Lilo and Stitch, of course reworked to be more fitting to each character and their relationships with one another.

So here's my whole idea, that I will never write because that's way too much work, but I think people will enjoy the idea.

Roles:

Dick as Nani

Tim as Lilo

Damian as Stitch

Jason as Jamba

Cass as Pleakley

Ra’s as Big Alien bad guy(I can’t remember his name)

Talia as the alien in charge girl(?)

Barbara as Bubbles

Steph as lover boy but it’s actually family friend gal instead. yeah.

The roles aren't strict, as I said and will explain, it'll follow along in a more character arcuate story arc. It won't be perfect, I haven't read a single comic, I'll be honest, but the idea is burning in my mind. So fuck it we ball.

So, story def opens with What’s the Norm, so we know how it fucks up.

Damian is sneaking around. We hear a conversation between Jason and Talia about how he’s been behaving recently. Jason mentions it being off, and Talia shelves it for now, assuming perhaps it’s more so something to do with puberty and growing up then anything else.

Then of course, that goes to shit, as Damian break out of the League, injuring plenty of people along the way. Jason is frustrated he couldn’t help but finds out where he’s going when looking through his room for clues. He’s found out who is father is and he wants to learn more, he also thinks Ra might use his body as a host and Damian would rather, y’know, live.

Via Ra and Talia’s agreement, Jason is assigned Cass, much to his dismay, to go and find Damian.

Cut to Dick and Tim, mostly focused on Dick but it’s more third person, we can see an insight on what’s going on with them and why they are fighting in a way.

Barbara is being Oracle and has to just. Deal with their tension. She’s frustrated but understands they’re both in mourning sort of right now. Just different stages. Tim’s in denial and Dick’s depressed. Maybe it starts with them fighting, we show how they aren’t working together well and Tim gets hurt and Dick just snaps at him, and tries to bench him because?? He can’t lose another person. But he’s too emotionally constipated to really express that to Tim. And he’s trying to take on the role of caretaker when Tim is used to him as a brother, and he was sort of unattended all his life so it feels more controlling, and frustrating to him because of it. He doesn’t understand why Dick doesn’t trust him and thinks he views him as lesser when in reality Dick is going to be sick looking at the way Tim is spiraling, reminding himself of how he was when he lost Jason, he’s terrified this is going to break or has already broken Tim and Dick cannot lose another person.

Tim goes out without Dick’s watch or permission. Barbara attempts to coax him out of it without picking sides, but tells Tim she has to tell Dick if he leaves. He scoffed her off and claims she’d picking sides. Tim meets up with Steph a little while she’s fighting and they chat some, Steph being like, “Oh hey, I thought you were benched?” And Tim gets sort of snippy with her too, although she takes it in stride, they begin to separate and Steph’s contacted by Dick, asking where Tim is, she tell him he’s just left her.

Dick is quick to catch up on Tim, while he’s in the mist of some gang bust and they argue in the middle of it. Distracting Tim just enough to get him hit and he’s Down. Like, serious down, knocked out and unconscious. Dick fucking snaps. he lets loose and nearly fucking kills a guy while he hallucinates Jason taunting him

Dick snaps out of it when small hands try to pull him away, pleading as he states Batman doesn’t kill. This reveals little Tim and Dick is just fucking struck. Because jesus Dick doesn’t remember him ever being that small. He knows he was, clearly. But damnit, he’s smaller then Jason was.

Dick takes him back to check him over, Tim lets him, but while he’s being checked Tim is like, “Well, I know you’re Nightwing, why are you dressed like Bruce? Where is Bruce?” and honestly Dick’s not even sure he has the fucking heart to tell this kid the truth. So instead he tries to figure out Tim’s current age and is just fucking struck again when he realizes this is so soon after Jason died. He forgets how Tim behaved then, but damnit. It’s so fucking different and yet the same and Dick is sick when he sees the starstruck look that Tim used to get in their early years. And fuck it hurts. It hurts to see.

Dick hates it, but Tim was robin at this time. And he actually listens. and damnit, he cannot leave Tim at home alone. He tries to and Tim is just… He doesn’t need to be alone in a big mansion anymore. And he figures after trying to bench him once Tim will just sneak out again(he will), better to have Tiny Tim in his line of sight and under his protection then have him sneaking around the shadows like he used to.

Patrol one night they find Damian fighting some guy that tried to mug him, because Dick doesn’t expect it he can’t stop the kid from killing the man and is just fucking frozen. Because like a child just killed a man. Also holy shit he looks like Bruce?? Damian recognizes Batman but is like?? You’re not fucking father, who the fuck are you? And Tiny Tim is like, well, you see, Bruce is out of commission, this is Nightwing. Damian’s like, okay, but where is my father?? And Dick like Fuck. I have to take care of another kid, don’t I?

Damian comes home with them so Dick can fix him bc why the fuck did he just kill a man?? Damian doesn’t answer a lot of questions, but he does state he is the blood son of batman, and the heir to the legacy. Tim explains Batman doesn’t kill people, so if he is he’ll have to stop doing that. One thing leads to another, and Tim and Damian agree he should be Robin as well. Have two robins out their training. However Damian is reluctant to have Tim with him, but damn the kid is so brightened by the idea of having another Robin with him. Actually he expresses his willingness to step down when Damian is ready. Which is not at all what Tim is like now. Reminding Dick that Tim never wanted to be Robin, but felt people needed him to be.

Now adays, Tim needs to be Robin just as much. He gave up everything to be Robin. He doesn’t have anything else.

Reluctantly, Dick agrees this would be the best plan so he can keep and eye on both of them. However, Barbara does not agree. Tim is young and vulnerable, and he could say things that the elder version of himself would not want to share with Dick. Plus, um?? Damian doesn’t seem too happy about sharing and is not past murder. So maybe having Tim and Damian stay together is a very bad idea. Dick mentions Tim should turn back eventually anyways, and Barbara askes him swear if he doesn’t turn back in a time limit(Three days like Lilo and Stitch maybe), then Barbara will be taking Tim. Who Tim remembers as Batgirl, so he has no problems with her.

Of course Jason is absolutely pissed to be back in Gotham, and more pissed to see his little replacement Robin running around. Even if he’s pretty sure he was told the kid was older, must have been misinformation, he doesn’t think to hard about it, because they are trying really hard to think of a way to capture Damian without alerting Tim and Dick to them being around. Jason is perfectly willing to send them both to the hospital, but Cass refuses to allow him to lay a hand on Dick or Tim. Reminding him their mission was just to bring Damian back, nothing more. and she s more then willing to face him off. Jason reluctantly realizes he can’t win against Cass, so they tick to the shadows, where Damian is perfectly aware they are. He used Tim as a human shield for the time being. Even if he did want to be rid of him before, he realizes he needs him for the time being.

Chaos ensues. Fights where Damian nearly kills more people as has to be held back by Dick or Tim, nearly killing Tim for stopping him, but remembering his human shield. Jason is wildly amused by Damian’s playing along to the “just a kid” thing. Tim and Damian get closer, as Tim talks about the Robins before him, why he became a Robin, and Bruce. Who Damian asks about a few times.

However, as all things do, things go wrong. Damian nearly ends up killing Tim, Dick snaps at him, and when Damian’s survival of the fittest training doesn’t seem to work with Dick in this case he’s just. Confused. He was raised like this his whole life, that he needs to be the best. Not to help people, even if it gives him a warm fluffy feeling when he does. Even when the tension loosens when he realizes he doesn’t have to kill people. He… Doesn’t want to kill people. Now he doesn’t have to.

Dick nearly breaks down, but realizes he can’t when Tim breaks down. Because Tim thought he was going to lose Damian, lose another Robin. He couldn’t bare it. He hates being Robin, he misses Jason, he misses Dick, he misses Bruce. He misses his parents and he’s upset that they haven’t even noticed that he’s gone and god damnit, he doesn’t want to be Robin! Being Robin hurts, and it’s hard, and he wishes someone else could do it, that it didn’t have to be him. They he had plans and a future and he might have to throw that all away for the sake of everyone else and that sucks!

He would do it, but he’s so relieved that Damian is here, they he wants to do it.

And Now Dick has an entirely different reason to want to break down. Because Tim didn’t have Damian in time. Tim did lose everything, Tim gave everything up, to be Robin. It was too late for that. When Tiny Tim becomes Tim again, he won’t want to give up Robin, because that’s all he has. Dick can’t fix that. But maybe… In some imaginary way he can. He can… Help Tiny Tim, make him feel normal, like a kid again. Like he doesn’t need to be Robin, while he has the time, he can do that. He can protect Tiny Tim from himself.

The time limit is met and Barbara comes to take Tim with her. and Dick is absolutely against it, because he just found out how awful Tiny Tim feels and it’s partly his fault. While they argue, Jason and Cass take the time to try and grab Damian. Only to fail again. And in that time, Tim and Damian alike slip away.

Ra’s is mad that there has been no progress, and decides to take matters into his own hands. Unfortunately he grabs the wrong little black haired boy, fortunately however. This kid is bright, he has fight, willpower. He has such a spirit, Ra isn’t particularly mad to have the wrong kid, but sees their is a spell on him. He wonders if he could keep it on so he can raise Tiny Tim to be even better, or turn him back and see how much better he is grown. Ra’s decides to remove the spell, and Tim is back to himself.

Damian runs back to Dick, however Jason and Cass catch him. They’re arguing enough to get Dick’s attention. Who asks where Tim is. Damian reluctantly explains, and then furthermore asks for Jason’s help. Jason is reluctant as he mostly worries about Dick finding out who he is, but relents. Dick thinks he has a mental break when he finds out Jason is ALIVE AND WELL, sort of well. And of course he is reluctant to allow Jason or Damian to fight Ra’s, worry of losing them. Cass assures him and bonding ensues while they go to rescue Tiny Tim.

However, the least expected thing was fining out in the duration that Tim is with Ra’s he’s big again, and Bruce is back. Brought back by Tim with the help of Ra’s who actually believed him. It takes the entire family, including Bruce to try and convince Tim he needs to get away from Ra’s, luckily he does. However he does confess not recalling much of being Tiny. Dick is actually sort of relieved by that but… At the same time he never got to give Tiny Tim the life he deserved. And it’s too late to undo everything done.

Dick returns to being Nightwing, Bruce to Batman, Jason says he needs to do his own thing for a while, and Cass tags along, the two get Steph to tag along too. The only problem being Tim and Damian. However, Tim agrees to help with his training. Not ready to give up Robin, but being given the time to figure out an alternative. Dick and Tim are still in a ruff patch, but they don’t scream at one another every chance they get. So look at the up side!

I don't have a strong ending idea, which is one of the reasons I won't write this, the other being I don't think I have a good enough grasp on all the characters to be able to write them in this position but i think the idea is enjoyable nonetheless.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

The twerking video has definitely given them a boost. The comments on all the Instagram entertainment pages (People, Page Six in the US and The Telegraph in the UK) are overwhelmingly positive. The only place where I found a mostly negative response is The Times (UK). But immediately afterwards there was another post on People about how H&M feel differently about the distance from the RF and again the comments were criticising both of them. This has also happened on the past where people would be hating on Meghan but she'd go to some gala thing looking good and everyone in the comments would be like she's so gorgeous but then something else would pop up and people would be ready to annihilate them.

But the thing is that the success of the twerk must've given Meghan some idea of how to attract more people, hence the fun Disney Land pics which are also being appreciated (People insta). I hope the tide finally turns for them and they make it big in the US cuz only then would they leave the RF alone or maybe Meghan would. She does seem kinda over them since As Ever. Harry, however is the real problem and would never be able to be a success across the pond and would therefore, never let go of the BRF.

The Disney pics are pretty typical and common for CA-based (and American) celebs. There's really no correlation between the video and the Disney photos other than the public was interested in more "behind the scenes" family footage.

We were always going to get the Disney photos, no matter what. That's not a surprise. It's actually a standard in the American PR toolkit - want to bury a controversy that might affect your family-friendly reputation? Take the kids to Disney! Plus we also have Diana taking the boys to Disney when they were young, so it was coming.

What is a surprise is how much footage we got from Disney, compared to all the other known Sussex family vacations. Granted, most of those other vacations took place before Meghan had her social media back, but again that begs the question of if social media was/is so important to her (as it's been intimated several times before), then why did she wait 5 years post-Megxit to bring it back? Why didn't she launch her social media with Lili's birth or Archie's fourth birthday aka Coronation Saturday. Why didn't she launch it with the Netflix docuseries, instead of waiting for her lifestyle show three years later?

So either this is a pivot in Meghan's approach to social media - more family moments, both in volume and in frequency - or it's crisis management. We'll have to wait and see which one.

FWIW, I've been reading some of the commentary about the Disney photos. I think the photos are from two separate visits mashed together to look like one day. (I have a very low confidence in that, and my only proof is the separate outfits for Lili.) I also wonder who else was with the Sussexes when they went to Disney, because there's a photo of Harry and Meghan together on Space Mountain sans kids, which means the kids were left somewhere with someone else, rather than a parent swap. It's probably a nanny, but it goes to show how blind Meghan is; she could've gotten a ton of PR points had Doria been in just one of the photos because otherwise you've got everyone talking about nannies. Again.

[adachimoe]

Expanding on the part of this post near the end where it talks about the scene in Magatsu Inaba where everyone engages in verbal turn-based combat against Adachi and gets to say their piece.

To recap / reiterate, Amenosagiri tells us that the moment when humans show a desire for the truth, it causes the Shadows to go nutso on people, and the party identifies that's why Shadows attack people:

Adachi is the Investigation Team's collective Shadow, and their confrontation with him mirrors this idea. He gets a glowy purple aura, gets yellow eyes, his name changes to "Other Adachi" (in Japanese anyway; it doesn't change in English), then Yukiko/Yosuke/Naoto get to take turns dunking on him, and he goes nutso and attacks the group, finally initiating his boss fight.

I'd like to focus on who gets to talk here, and what they say.

Chie, Rise, and Kanji all say things to Adachi as well, but they say it to him before he gets the glowy aura and derpy eyes. Chie just does not understand this guy or why he became an officer, Rise thinks he's full of shit, and Kanji more-or-less tells him to "go disappear" after hearing that he wants everyone else to disappear.

I think it's appropriate and more meaningful that Yukiko, Yosuke, and Naoto get to tell off Adachi and trigger him going nutso and attacking the group. As arguably, they're the ones who have been most affected by his bullshit: Yukiko's family inn is where Mayumi disappeared from, Naoto is the private detective working on the case, and Yosuke has his crush on Saki. And not only the three of them getting to say this, but also what they get to say to Adachi reflects their own story arcs...

Yukiko's Shadow targets her inaction and the idea of "living without being alive" (I'm not gonna go into that here but I talked about it in regards to Adachi in the post this was reblogged from), and Yukiko throws that concept at Adachi. (Also, I would recommend reading this about the translation of what Yukiko says in Magatsu Inaba.)

Naoto and her Shadow talk about Naoto's own loneliness and being found a nuisance by adults.

And to Adachi, Naoto tells him that humans are not meant to be alone. Furthermore, despite like Adachi being the adult (one who called her a kid and assumed she ran off and threw a tantrum after being removed from the police investigation, even!), he is a total pain in the ass himself.

Lastly, Yosuke brings up Adachi being "favored by the world", or I guess another way to phrase this is "chosen one".

(Idk if this is obvious in English or not cause it seems to be worded a bit differently all 3 times it comes up, but Yosuke is echoing what Adachi says when they confront him on December 7th. Yosuke also asks about it after, so it appears to have been something on his mind.)

When you think back to Yosuke's confrontation with his Shadow, it targets him wanting to play hero. This is further compounded by the meta knowledge that Atlus picked Jiraiya as Yosuke's first Persona specifically because Jiraiya was a Robin Hood-esque / hero of the people figure who believed himself to be a chosen one.

(I'm going to be honest... I've never read Jiraiya Monogatari, but this is what Atlus said about why his Persona is Jiraiya, so even if it's completely wrong lol, it's still what they had in mind.)

So, Yosuke tells Adachi that he's no chosen one, he's just a criminal.

Up until now, we've mostly seen the Investigation Team confront their own Shadows. With Adachi, this scene is notably structured differently. The Investigation Team tell their Shadows "You're not me!", and this phrase acts as a kind of symbol for them wanting the truth. (If you notice, the very last phrase the Shadow says before the inevitable freak out is usually something that ends up being extremely wrong about that character, even if everything else it says is true. For example, Yosuke might have wanted to be a hero, but I think his Shadow saying that he was using Saki's death as an excuse -- like implying he didn't actually care about her -- doesn't seem accurate for what we learn about his character in the rest of the story and his social link. Or for Yukiko, her Shadow disses the inn before Yukiko tells it to fuck off, and we know that Yukiko really does care about the inn, she just doesn't want to feel like it's her only option.)

With Adachi, he has this whole segment beforehand where he yaps about a ton of shit and the pitfalls of society. But the Investigation Team doesn't buy into what he says. What causes him to freak out and attack them isn't being told "You're not me!", it's him being told some truths about himself. They have heard what he has to say, thought it was all stupid, and show their desire for the truth by instead telling him some truths about himself.

Everything that Yukiko, Naoto, and Yosuke tell him has to have some semblance of truth to it for Adachi to freak out after and attack them. (Or uh I think that's how this works?) And when you think about it... Yeah, he seems stuck and he isn't exactly doing much about it, he is throwing a tantrum, he is lonely and running from his humanity (omg he literally ran away from them in a hospital and into a TV), he is a dumb criminal. No objections here.

I don't think I've really talked much about my opinion on Persona 4's like... writing on some kind of meta level or as a critique...?, but I rather liked this scene. And whether it was intentional or not lol, I think Atlus executed the concept of "the killer is the Investigation Team's Shadow" pretty well. Depending on how you see the characters, there are definitely attributes of theirs you can assign to him as well. And narratively, it's also the last "man vs man" conflict in the story before it turns into "man vs god", while also being about Adachi against himself.

Anyway Adachi is really cringe.

A long and meandering post about Adachi and the Investigation Team

I have no idea what to title or describe this as. This is a long ass rambling 2.5k+ word post that consists of like 5 drafts I had sitting around that all felt somewhat related. It starts with the part where the Investigation Team tells Adachi to get over himself, then devolves into talking about Adachi punching himself in the face repeatedly (metaphorically), before ending by exploring the idea of Adachi as the Investigation Team's collective Shadow. it rly is tl;dr.

Adachi will remember that

At one point in Magatsu Inaba, the Investigation Team takes turns responding to Adachi in verbal turn-based combat. They all have varying responses and levels of understanding of him.

Chie doesn't understand why Adachi even became a cop, Rise thinks he's full of shit, Kanji tells him a 2008 version of "go kys" (tbf, he's never been eloquent with words), Yukiko tells Adachi that he sounds like a kid, Naoto calls him out for finding life annoying while being a damn annoyance, and Yosuke tells him he's just a criminal.

What Yukiko says to him in particular appears to sting Adachi, evident by how he "!" emotes in reaction to her. Or idk maybe he's secretly into getting bullied by women. I think Yukiko has Adachi's number here, and he knows that. After all, part of his schtick is that, "Oh, you stupid fuckin' kids, you don't know what I've been through or how I feel! Get off my dungeon lawn!!!" And yet, one of those stupid kids is able to tl;dr his life, and even says, "no u -- you're the stupid kid" back at him. He later even repeats what she said back at Sho during Ultimax.

What Yukiko says here, I think, stands out in particular not just because of Adachi's reaction but also because it resembles a sentiment found in other media: The contradiction of being alive while not "truly" being alive. This often goes like so: A character can be alive in that they are most certainly physically living and breathing, but they are largely closed off from the rest of the world and going through the motions. Thus they are said to not truly "be alive".

In the context of Persona 4, I believe Adachi fits in with this trope. As Yukiko has assessed, life sucks, but it's not like he's in any hurry to die. From what we see of Adachi in the plot, he's going through the motions. He wakes up, goes to his job, goes to Junes to bum free air conditioning, and sometimes gets dragged over to Dojima's house.

I don't think it's bad that people fall into these routines by default. Some find them comforting, some appreciate the simplicity, and some make up for the monotony of adult life with the more fascinating things they do outside of work.

But this doesn't feel like it applies to Adachi because he openly groans about his life and job. He seems to want to live and fit in with society, but he wants to do so with more than what he has right now, yet he also seems unwilling or unable to get what he wants. He also seems unwilling to put in the effort - he tells us he's lonely and wants a girlfriend, but when the old woman from his Social Link tries to hook him up with a girl, he finds it all annoying. He thinks of himself as an elite detective who is above Inaba, but he is regularly made out to be incompetent, sloppy, and careless.

It's like he's stuck but not doing anything to become unstuck. Following the tropes, Adachi would move from being a character who is "alive without really being alive" to "Truly Living" once he figures out how to get himself un-stuck. If he truly wants to be a hotshot detective in the big city with a smokin' hot wife, then something needs to change because he won't get those things as he is now.

But how does Adachi approach the subject of "change"? (Spoiler: Not well.)

Maybe the world really is just a shitshow?

Adachi being exposed as the murderer is a major turning point for the murder investigation. And after the Investigation Team chases him into the TV, one of the many things he talks about is "change", or rather a lack of change.

As far as Adachi is concerned, the world can't / won't / doesn't change. He criticizes the world and its inability to change, how society works, and how people will latch to whatever you tell them as the truth.

Some things he says might resonate with us, especially nowadays with the spread of social media and misinformation. However, despite these criticisms, it sounds like he still desires to be part of society. (Yes, I know, this sounds like that one "We should improve society somewhat" comic, but Adachi did not want to "improve society" lbr LOL.) He has been trying to blend in as a normal guy since April despite being a murderer. I think it's worth reiterating that his complaints about his life weren't anarchist but more like, "I don't have a cute girlfriend who cooks for me." Furthermore, he was trying to take advantage of misinformation to get away with murder by pinning it on Namatame.

Adachi doesn't like the current world and doesn't think it will change. Thus, he is forcing it to change in a completely catastrophic way. He really is throwing a tantrum: Like, what, you can't get away with murder? All right, throw the whole world away. With this approach, it is not Adachi who must change to fit in with the world, but rather the world that must change to fit Adachi.

Change isn't a good subject with him, which, honestly, is relatable. Change is easier said than done. Even within Persona 4 itself, after getting Magical TV Powers, an event that feasibly might add spice to one's life!!, the same old routine still runs Adachi's life. What has changed is that he's now waiting for Namatame to kill someone. Showing up looking for a dead body in the shopping district is simply a new part of his routine.

This topic of Adachi and change gets wrapped up after the fight against Amenosagiri. Adachi challenges the Investigation Team: >>>If<<< they think they have the power to change the future, then do it.

After entering the TV World, Amenosagiri responds to Adachi's wish and makes his wish come true as the dungeon deadline bad ending shows. That was Adachi's own so-called power to change the future. So what is the Investigation Team's?

Yosuke then replies that everyone has the power to change their future. As in, you don't need special powers from a gigantic disco eyeball inside of a TV to do that. In context, Yosuke is telling Adachi, "This is a 'you' problem," or "Skill issue." And tbh, I think Yosuke is more or less correct here.

In which we revisit the topic of "dumbass" and effort

In some ways, this topic might seem odd to approach. Everyone on the Investigation Team - besides Chie - seems to have a better life situation than Adachi had when he was their age. Are they punching down? Perhaps it feels like a hollow reflection of the collectivist culture that the solution to these antagonists who go "BUT SOCIETY IS WHAT IS WRONG" is always to beat them up and force them to conform--

…..but hold on. That line of thought would be giving in to what Adachi says before his boss battle. And, based on how he quits talking about how "waaah society is unfair" afterward, I find it difficult to think that is what he genuinely believes about his situation.

When I suggest that Yosuke is correct, I don't mean this in a "You aren't special, Adachi, everyone else's life sucks too, just deal with it" kind of way. What I have in mind is how the game seems to support that this is an Adachi problem, not an everyone else problem. Throughout Adachi's Social Link, his other interactions, and what Atlus has said as meta / Word of God answers, you get the idea that people were trying with Adachi, but he wasn't meeting them halfway.

For example:

This entire post is about the effort the MC puts in just to get called a dumbass (though I'd bet that the protag considers Adachi calling him a dumbass to be like a Badge of Honor). Even their gay ass Fever Time in P4D tells the story of Yu trying to reach out and Adachi going, "No!!!"

The old woman in his Social Link is trying to wingwoman for him and hook him up with women in Inaba, but Adachi seems unwilling. Instead, he tells Nanako and the protagonist that he's never getting married. Despite his loneliness, he justifies himself by saying, "Marriage is the graveyard of a man's life."

The Dojima family and Adachi interact briefly throughout the game, both in the story scenes and in his Social Link. As his letter at the end of the game shows, Adachi felt lukewarm about their interactions because he wasn't quite aware of what he had with them until he no longer has their company.

The way I see it, when Adachi rants about the world not changing, he is not actually bitching about the world. Rather, this feels more like a form of projection. He says the world doesn't change, but perhaps he is talking about himself and his own inability to change. Which would reframe it as more like… He knows he's the issue that holds himself back - his own worst enemy, perhaps - but he says the world is wrong to justify himself.

You learn a bit about Adachi through his Social Link. During rank 6, in dialogue that can tragically be missed, Adachi will admit that he is lonely, but he also thinks it's easier that way. And really, easier is just another way of saying "less effort".

On one hand, this might show Adachi's annoyance with other people. But at the same time, for him to call the protagonist a dumbass for investing so much in him and their relationship, for him to pass up the matchmaking from the older woman at Junes while complaining about being single....... I think the unspoken bit here is that Adachi does not think he is worth the time or effort to begin with. His lack of effort isn't just him being annoyed with people or not giving a shit about things, it's a lack of effort into himself. I'm no expert, but I think the majority of us would wager that this is depression.

As the game's timeline unfolds, we really only know Adachi as the pathetic, silly murder guy. Did he start distancing himself from people and quit caring about the effort he puts into himself because of the "oops, I murdered someone" part? Or was he like this even before then?

When he talks more about his past, he doesn't go into a great amount of detail. But, going with my gut here, I get the feeling that Adachi's obsession with Mayumi - something from before he became a murderer - suggests his distance from people is not a new thing for him.

Consider: Meeting people? Forming relationships? Possibly getting rejected? Having to make someone else happy? Wh-What if he has to ch-change something about himself? Like, even before we talk about romance, how the hell do you even make friends as an adult? (The answer is BL btw. Go find some girlies who ship the same pairing.) I think Adachi said fuck it to all that bullshit. It'd be easier - less effort - for him to just be alone and not have to change anything about himself.

But… What if the magical TV just tells you exactly who your soulmate is? Well, shit, that's easy. For the lonely guy who just got transferred to Inaba and generally keeps his distance from people, I imagine it would be quite convenient to just be told, "This is who your soulmate is; the person you're meant to be with".

And that wouldn't be the last time Adachi gets a freebie from the TV. It happens again in December, as Adachi finds an again "easy" solution that does not involve changing himself or doing something annoying that requires effort from him. Having been enabled by the magical TV, Adachi is something of a static character.

Adachi is the Investigation Team's Shadow

In the P4G Premium Fan/Fun/Fsomething book, Atlus defines the Shadow by the Jungian definition, then talks about how the Shadows in-game represent "alternate possibilities" for the characters. The specific example it gives is how Chie's Shadow holds a great deal of animosity towards Yukiko. The real Chie doesn't feel this way towards Yukiko; in fact, she treasures her. Thus, Chie's Shadow is an alternate possibility.

When you look at Chie and what she says about accepting her Shadow, her Shadow seems to be born from a real insecurity (her jealousy of Yukiko) and part of it really does resemble Chie. But part of her Shadow is also this… caricature-esque thing. Hence why Atlus calls it the "alternate possibility". In turn, Chie accepts that she is jealous of Yukiko, but she does not accept the Banana Hat Dominatrix trying to exert control over Yukiko. She even realizes that rather than Yukiko needing her, it was actually her who needed Yukiko.

(I refuse to carry on with this train of thought further than talking about Atlus's own example with Chie because it would inevitably mean having to talk about how Atlus sees Kanji and Naoto's issues/Shadows/dungeons, and I'd need like bottles of wine to get in the mood to even type a paragraph of that.)

During her P4G winter Social Link scene, where her Persona evolves, Chie brings up Adachi and how she could have become him. She continues that anyone could have turned out like him.

Indeed, Adachi very much feels like a, "this could happen to anyone" character. He is an everyday normal guy who accidentally gets involved in something beyond him: a Like a Dragon side story NPC stuck in a game about high schoolers and friendship. Based on how you see these characters, you can correlate many of their issues to Adachi's own issues.

Really, in some ways, he feels like he was written to be the sum of the Investigation Team's insecurities, all bundled into one guy. In the case of Chie in particular, just as she was jealous of Yukiko and other girls, Adachi is jealous of what others have (especially Namatame, it seems), and he reflects that aspect of Chie.

As Chie's Shadow twisted her jealousy of Yukiko into a desire to control Yukiko and showed an alternate possibility for who Chie could have become if she had let jealousy consume her, perhaps Adachi shows an alternate possibility for who all of them could become.

As Amenosagiri later reveals, the truth torments the Shadows. Your party identifies that is what causes the Shadows to attack people.

When we consider how the game has gone until now, then those moments where the Investigation Team told their Shadows, "You're not me!" must be the moment that Amenosagiri was describing. The members of the Investigation Team come face to face with a being who claims to be them and seems aware of the same issues that gnaw at them. But these beings pervert their issues issues in a direction that doesn't reflect who the Investigation Team really are. And so they challenge that this being is truly them. They, sigh, "reach out to the truth", and it causes their Shadows to go nutso and attack.

And, of course, these repeated scenes where they tell their Shadows all lead up to the last time we see this kind of sequence...

Just as the Investigation Team had to face themselves and pick apart the truths from the caricature, they, too, come to face Adachi and cut through the bullshit, deny his attempts to justify why it's okay for him to merge the TV World into reality and screw everyone over, and reject him just as they did their Shadows.

That said, though, if we are to compare him to their Shadows, then we must acknowledge that, much like how the Investigation Team's Shadows come from their own real insecurities, Adachi's frustrations with the Investigation Team and with the world at large must also come from something real.

On this screenshotted line in particular, he even uses the more masculine "ore" as his pronoun in Japanese. He usually uses the more boyish "boku", but he seems to swap to "ore" to indicate that he is speaking quite genuinely--or perhaps speaking from the heart.

While he is a whiny murderer throwing an apocalyptic tantrum, I'm sure there are circumstances that made him the person that he is as an adult. Tbh, I've already made a lot of posts talking about the factors that might have contributed to *why* he feels like this, so I won't drag this out further.

By Arena Ultimax, Adachi has come to accept the murder case as the inciting incident that causes him to change as he finds himself finally owning up to his actions from the previous year. He's no role model lol, but life now has more meaning to him than just something you go through every day. Perhaps it's at this moment that he can be said to have gone from merely being alive to living.

(Let's be real tho, jail gives you 3 non-cup noodle meals per day? Damn. It's like he's living his best life. Speaking of which, food feels like such a fitting metaphor for his emotional nourishment.)

In the aftermath of the dungeon and the almost-end-of-the-world, Adachi agreed to start playing by the rules, and became more of a dynamic character. At the beginning of Ultimax, Adachi's commitment to this gets questioned as Yu, Yosuke, and Chie find him allied with Sho (like 5 cutscenes after Yu is so confidant he's behaving himself too, tsk tsk). But Yu reaches the roof, hears Adachi's cringe ass dialogue (I'm pretty sure that Adachi would not have said half that shit if he had known Yu was standing around the corner), and reaffirms his belief that Adachi was genuine about his promise to play by the rules.

The Investigation Team are not on the best of terms with Adachi. Regardless, they went into his dungeon, called him out on his bullshit that had been mixed in with his own real shortcomings and insecurities, punched him, and as we can tell by Ultimax, came to accept him in their own ways as they did their individual Shadows. As Yu says, perhaps they have strangely enough decided to trust in Adachi.

[miainbetween]

( 💡 👜 🏛 🍨 ) for the ask game <3

AHHH okay this might be a hard one because I haven’t been scripting enough for some of these but I’ll try my best. (Actually it was super easy… how knew?) {the ask game}

I’ll be answering for liverpool/better cr.

💡 : what was your first dr and what is currently your main dr? How and why have you made this switch?

I just wanna say: don’t judge me. I know that we’ve all had hogwarts phases because of dracotok and shifttok back in the day aka 2020 but my case I feel like is worse because my first dr was crossover between Hogwarts and the vampire diaries where I was a Michaelson and Klaus was my dad… 🦗🦗 HAHAH, yeah, so I was a tribrid or something. My CR family was some magician family that I think were supposed to help Caroline, who was my mother, to get pregnant with me… I don’t even know anymore. it was all so confusing and so complicated and so unnecessary and I don’t even remember who was my significant other. It might’ve been either Draco or Mattheo. And I remember that I had scripted the abandoned house from the Greatest Showman movie. I still think that was a cool idea though. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I was friends with the malfoys. I honestly don’t remember anymore. It was a very interesting one but it was so complicated and it felt like just a story or like a fantasy in my head and that’s why I chose to not shift there for the first time. Maybe I will in the future but when I have shifted where I wanted to, first.

With Liverpool i’ve tried to be more intuitive with scripting. I haven’t really scripted that much which has kept it within reach? I feel like the only thing that is keeping me a little bit anxious is that I haven’t exactly figured out when to shift first as in how much would our relationship have progressed at the time? But I feel like the trick is to just imagine the moment when I’ll wake up without thinking about the backstory and my subconsciousness will figure everything else out. 

👜 : what’s your house look like? Do you have any roommates or people who live with you? What’s your favorite aspect of your house and why?

Okay, so I don’t know if I should answer this for my own apartment or for max’s because I spent most of my time at his apartment, but I’ll probably answer for both.

For my apartment it’s pretty small one. In a Victorian terrace kind of building. It has a bedroom, living room, kitchen and a bathroom. Everything is very small and sweet almost like inside a doll house but it’s so functional and comfortable. I think that my favourite part of that apartment might be the TV section in the living room because it has a lot of shelves and I have a lot of pictures there and plans, books and other things and it just feels like it holds all of my personality in one place.

For a max apartment I don’t even know where to start. his apartment is this industrial style with a lot of plants (thanks to me) and a lot of natural light. It’s mostly brick, white and grey with some little black accents and maybe dark wood but I don’t know. It just feels so nice and homey there. I think my favourite thing about his apartment is—there are a lot but—the natural light, the authentic artistic feel (he’s a music producer) with the plants as well. And also if we have to talk room-wise it’s probably the bedroom. For no other reason besides the slow mornings, the pillow talk at night and also the breakfast in bed. Now that I think about it.. I probably spend a lot of time in his bed. 

🏛️ : what do you do in your free time? Who are you with? Where do you go?

In my free time when I’m not studying and am not all over max, I am probably reading, exploring a park or a bookstore or a coffee shop or I’m trying to think of new ways to annoy or tease max. I also would be writing or rearranging flowers and plants and watering them.

Sometimes I would go out with my friend Kalina. She is my best friend who is also studying in Liverpool. She’s there for the first time and (the story is long, but I went on the exchange to Liverpool so that she wouldn’t be alone and it was also extra points for me because I’ve always wanted to go abroad) she’s going to stay there but I am on an exchange for only a year and I don’t know how this exchange thing will go because I probably won’t want to go back because doing long distance would kill me but it is what it is. I’ll figure it out later.

🍨 : what are your socials like in your dr? Followers? Username? What do you post?

Honestly, I am not big on socials. I don’t think I would have over 1000 followers. My username is probably the same one that I have here: maria with the initials of my middle and family name. Though I may grow more active or try to be, i’ll probably post just some scenery sometimes. maybe selfies. sometimes maybe Max‘s feet. capturing moments. that kind of stuff. and my little sister would probably slide into my dms and be like “why the fuck did you post that???” but that’s just part of the charm!

this was so fun!!💕

[mordacitatis]

picked up a stray and didn't manage to offload her onto a friend and now unfortunately I love her too much to let her go

[r0semultiverse]

How Homestuck Beyond Canon Candy Timeline has/will have parallels with Homestuck proper around and during the events of [S] Game Over

Jane Crocker heavily aligned/influenced by with Crocker Corp. Notice how her neck accessory looks very similar to the Crocker computer tiara. There's also the circuits surrounding the button, which are reminiscent of Crockertier Jane's visual mind control effect by The Condesce.

Jane also kind of looks like The Condesce with how she's silhouetted here.

The head of Crocker Corporation on a large Crocker space ship. A ship which I would like to point out looks eerily similar to the ship that The Condesce flies around in except the forks/sporks are facing the opposite direction and it's got black on it instead of mostly red.

Jake dying at the hands of Crocker influenced Jane and coming back to life parallels with this Jane coming close to killing Jake, but stopping right before death. Same green text too.

The cast of characters surrounding this time in the comic are also similar.

We also got the whole Crocker laser beam of death being hinted at which we've absolutely seen before.

I talked about this in one of my previous theories, Jake is getting a better grasp of his hope powers; so, I think we could see another hope explosion again in some capacity out of Jake's concern for Tavvy.

I could also totally see Jake being held hostage by one of the Crocker Clones A.K.A. the Brig Boys and Kanaya cutting them up with her chainsaw (hopefully avoiding Jake).

This is more of a little side detail, but Vriska is once again on the sidelines while this massive important fight takes place because she's trapped in her own personal Hell this time.

CHARACTER DEATH FLAGS - I don't know how to organize this post and there was a lot more potential evidence to this than I thought there was going into it.

Let me preface this with the fact that the existential split between Meat and Candy sometimes seems to try to course correct itself and much like certain peoples DNIs, it doesn't want any doubles. We see this with Dirk, Dave (he died even if he ascended to ultimate self afterwards), June/J/John, Terezi(seemingly), Meenah (her other self is in the black hole with Lord English so we can't necessarily confirm death but yknow), Aradia (is just Aradia), Gamzee, Calliope (that is a whole complex situation), and Rose (if her future sight is correct, but we'll get to that). Those are the only examples I can think of at this time, but it's absolutely a repeating pattern of the universe sort of course-correcting to have only one of each of our main characters exist at a time. This, at least in the cases of Dirk, Dave, & Rose seems to be related to the ascension to ultimate self, but we can't really say if that's why the other characters only get one existence at this time.

Karkat has has at least 2 deaths from around this time, one involving Crockertier Jane as well which could be a sign of things to come.

Rose's death flag is that she has literally foreseen her death in her future sight. She is thinking about Kanaya and Roxy in the same thought process while seeing her own death, feeling full of regret (even though she's trying to repress her own feelings) about her relationship to Roxy and Kanaya. Very similar to her being regretful as she was dying in Roxy's arms. I'm also guessing the bullet that hits her will be from Jake's gun, just throwing that out as a possibility.

ROSE: What... ROSE: Happened to me? ROXY: the witch got u ROXY: with her fork ROXY: but youre gonna be ok ROSE: Oh. ROSE: That's nice. ROSE: *Cough.* ROXY: maybe you uh ROXY: shouldnt try to talk now ROSE: You saved me, didn't you? ROXY: ... ROSE: Thanks. ROSE: But, ROSE: She's gone, isn't she. ROSE: For good, I mean. ROXY: ? ROSE: I saw her die. ROSE: And. ROSE: It's a shame how... ROSE: *Cough.* ROSE: A shame that I never even... ROSE: Got to tell her... ROSE: I loved her. ROXY: who?

ROSE: Kanaya. ROSE: But... ROSE: You too, mom.

Kanaya also has a death flag here in getting hit by The Condesce's laser beam of death, but it's more of a maybe given that we see Rose's future vision of Kanaya holding her body in her arms. Keep in mind though we also had this bit of dialogue about the reliability of future sight right before we saw that vision.

JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!

Jake and Jane are also on the chopping block potentially, but I can't think of a way at this time, unless Kanaya mistakes Jake for one of the clones amidst her rage and ends up cutting through him along with the Crocker clones. The one pictured below was done by Aranea who is out of the story. Maybe Meenah's trident hits Jake somehow or something, I don't know. We also have meat Jake and Jane who are doing more okay.

On top of the parallels to the doomed timeline that was [S] Game Over, we also had Vriska say that this reality was fake and didn't matter. I'm paraphrasing and I don't know if we'll get a doomed timeline situation yet with the 4 kids still in it, but I just thought the amount of parallels was interesting & worth pointing out.

I also wanted to get this out before the next update in case it's related to the flash animation and any of my predictions come true.

Alternatively I think the flash animation will be Ultimate Dirk kick starting his SBURB home brew session on Deltritus. He probably has all the tech and narrative powers to do it based on what we've seen, they just need a species they'll both be satisfied with as the players for the session.

[riverside-lavender]

i could write an essay on how the character’s clothes in one piece show their emotional journey. i think about it so much.

[lesbiansanemi]

The sheer desperation and frenzied manner that I keep telling myself “just one more week just one more week just one more week” to keep from snapping and going fucking insane is honestly getting concerning

[makereadgrow]

RIP Joann, now what?

I wanted to make a post I could copy and paste and or link when I see folks asking where to buy fabrics when Joann is gone. I sew a lot, generally between 100-200 items a year and I don't do it on a big budget. Stores are not in a particular order.

Notions:

Wawak.com - start here, mostly stay here. Wawak is a supplier for professional sewing businesses and have the prices that show it. I will not pay for gutermann Mara 100 anywhere else. I buy buttons, tools, thread, and most elastic here.

Stitch Love Studio - this is where I buy lingerie supplies https://www.etsy.com/shop/StitchLoveStudio?ref=yr_purchases

Fabric:

Fabric Mart - this is one where you want to sign up for emails and never buy unless its on sale. They run different sales every day and they rotate. Mostly deadstock fabrics but I buy more from here than anywhere else. Fantastic customer service and if you watch you can get things like $6 wool suiting or $4 cotton jersey. https://fabricmartfabrics.com/

Fabrics-Store - again, buy the sales not the full price. Sign up for the emails but redirect them to a folder because it is TOO MANY. They stock linen or good but not amazing quality. https://www.fabrics-store.com/

Purple Seamstress - This is where I buy my solid cotton lycra jersey. They have other things, but the jersey is what I'm here for. Inexpensive and very good quality. If you ask she will mail you a swatch card for the solids. https://purpleseamstressfabric.com/

LA Finch - deadstock fabrics with a fantastic remnant selection https://lafinchfabrics.myshopify.com/

Califabrics - mix of deadstock and big brands, easy to navigate and always seem to have good denim in stock. https://califabrics.com/

Boho Fabrics - good variety, nice bundles. I have also gotten some really great trims from here. https://www.bohofabrics.com/

Firecracker Fabrics - garment and quilting fabrics, really nice selection and great sale section. I've bought $5 yard quilting cottons here several times. https://www.firecrackerfabrics.com/

Hancock's of Paducah - Quilting fabric and some limited garment fabric. AMAZING sale section. Do not sleep on the sale section. This is my first stop when buying quilting fabrics. Usually the last stop too. Not particularly speedy shipping. https://www.hancocks-paducah.com/

Itokri - This is something a little different. Itokri is an Indian business with incredible traditional fabrics. Shipping to the US is expensive, but the fabric is so inexpensive it evens out. I generally end up paying like $30 for shipping. Beautiful ikat and block prints. https://itokri.com/

Miss Matatabi - this is a little treat. This isn't where you go to save money, but there are so many beautiful things in this shop. Ships from Japan incredibly quickly. https://shop.missmatatabi.com/

Lucky Deluxe - Craft thrift store, always has an incredible selection and fantastic customer service. I need to close the tab fast because I never go to this website without finding something I need. https://www.luckydeluxefabrics.com/

Swanson's - the OG of online craft thrift stores, but I find their website harder to navigate. https://www.swansonsfabrics.com

Honorary Mentions: I haven't shopped at these places yet but I have had them recommended and likely will at some point.

A Thrifty Notion - https://athriftynotion.com/

Creative Closeouts - https://creativecloseoutsfabric.com/ being rebranded to sewsnip.com on March 1 - quilting deadstock

Hawthorne Supply Co. - I just got this rec and I think I need to not look too closely or I'm going to slip with my debit card. https://www.hawthornesupplyco.com/

This is not an exhaustive list of everywhere you can buy fabric, or even a full list of where I shop. There are SO many options out there in the world. You also need to think outside the fabric store box. I thrift men's shirt fabrics for quilts and sheets for backing fabric. I don't do a ton of in person thrifting and my local stores don't get a lot of craft materials but every thrift store is its own universe and reflects the community it is in. Go out and find something cool.

Oh and final note: Don't shop at Hobby Lobby.

[dear-ao3]

so. as you may know it’s christmas eve. as you probably don’t know i am eastern european. and probably the only real tradition anyone holds onto is christmas eve. normally my great aunt does all the food and very begrudgingly sometimes lets everyone help make like. one thing.

well.

this year. the year of our lord two thousand and twenty four. she decided she was done cooking and it was up to everyone else.

so i got a phone call from my mom a few weeks ago being like hey so. you’re making the cake. got it? good.

the cake in question is a walnut cake. i was entrusted with my great aunts recipe about seven years ago. i’ve made it twice. the first time i fucked up the frosting quantity. the second time i fucked up the eggs. both times were passable at best and notably! my great aunt did not taste either of them.

and i have to make this cake. on christmas eve. it is dessert. for everyone. my extended family will all be eating the cake. the walnut cake. on christmas eve. even my great aunt.

so yesterday, december 23 if you are counting, i went on the annual Last Minute Christmas Food Shopping Trip with my father, watched him climb into the case to get his half and half like he does every year, and stressed about my cake as i made sure i had all of the ingredients.

then. we went to my great aunts house. where i was met with Trial Number 1: The Cognac

this cake has cognac in the frosting. not a big deal really. except for the fact that my mom hates that there is cognac in the frosting. (my mom is hell bent on making christmas eve dinner vaguely healthier. no one else agrees.) and i was to be making the cake in my moms house.

also important to note: we (as in my parents) do not own cognac. mostly because none of us drink.

so my great aunt is like oh i have to give you the cognac. cause she knows. i am baking the cake. the walnut cake. (my dad told her. he is a traitor). and i say okay. sure. this won’t be a problem at all.

so she gives me. a shot of cognac. and when i say a shot. i mean an Entirely Full Shot Glass of Three Hundred Dollar Cognac. in a jar. for the cake. the walnut cake. that i have to make.

upon bringing the cognac home my mom says no we’re not putting that in. the cognac sits on the counter in its jar. no one touches it.

then i was met with Trial Number 2: The Frosting.

this recipe requires a pound of chopped walnuts. first. i couldn’t even find the walnuts. my sister and i searched high and low and in every cabinet we could find but no nuts. i called my mom. and said mom where are the walnuts? and she said. “they’re in the nut bag behind the basement door.”

oh of course. how could i have missed the nut bag? a holiday bag full of bags of nuts that was half hidden by wrapping paper and also behind a door?

in any case. could i have used a food processor? absolutely. did i? no. half because i forgot and half because i didn’t want to accidentally grind the walnuts into a paste. so i enlisted the help of my younger sister to chop the walnuts By Hand while i embarked on the real devil: the frosting.

which remember. is supposed to have cognac.

so i cream my butter. i add my sugar. i’m careful not to over sugar. i taste it a million times. i add my coffee and my vanilla extract (instead of cognac. which is still sitting on the counter) and it was all going so well until. the butter rebelled.

now remember. one time when i made this. seven years ago. i made too little frosting. so i made more this time. and i thought i had all my conversions right but evidently i did not because suddenly there was too much liquid in my frosting and it split.

the frosting for the walnut cake that everyone was going to eat. on christmas eve. the very next day.

i felt like a contestant on great british bake-off getting smited by the tent.

so i did the logical thing and shoved the whole mess into the fridge hoping that it would sort itself out overnight.

then it was time to face Trial Number Three: The Cake Itself.

as i have said this cake is a walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake that has been at christmas eve longer than i have been alive. and it requires no less than ten egg whites. which i whipped and i added to my walnuts and shoved the whole thing into the oven in my two baking dishes.

only to discover no less than 40 minutes later that the batter in the pans was Not Even (despite my best efforts). so i cooked one longer than the other and hoped that i hadn’t monumentally fucked up the walnut cake. like i had the frosting. which was in the fridge. and i was ignoring.

which leads to Trial Number Four: The Egg Yolk Cake

see i had ten egg yolks. i didn’t know what to do with them. my mom said flush them. my dad said make a custard. i proposed making egg nog. my mom said she didn’t want it in the house cause it was too fattening (a blatantly incorrect statement. please, if you are reading this, go drink a glass of eggnog. or some other fun festive drink. food is for the soul.) so i produced a recipe for an egg yolk pound cake. i made it. i still don’t know if it came out good cause i haven’t tasted it. i hope it did. but that was not the point. the point is the walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake.

and the following morning i was met with Trial Number Five: The Frosting Part 2

first i threw my failed frosting back in the mixer and it immediately secreted a brackish combination of vanilla extract and coffee so i did the only thing i could. facetimed my dad and said “father there are problems abound.” and he gave me the fatherly advice of “make it again.”

and so i did.

with more correct measurements. still scared it would split at any second.

though it didn’t.

and i didn’t add the cognac.

maybe no one will be able to tell???

my mom said that if anyone asks the first batch of frosting failed and i had to toss it. this is technically true.

but i had frosting. i had two uneven cakes. and it was time for Trial Number Six: Decorating

decorating cakes is easily in my top ten least favorite activities. decorating the christmas eve walnut cake is easily in my top three least favorite activities. because i am terrible at decorating cakes. and also because it has a filling.

the filling is jam. and i once again made the wrong choice because i put the jam on first before the frosting. which to be fair is what the directions say. but as everyone knows, the directions in recipes you get from your eastern european great aunt are not the real directions. so now i had to smear butter cream. on top of jam. for the filling of the walnut cake. for christmas eve. that we would be eating in a few hours.

and we didn’t have a cake plate. we had a large dish.

i had to use my fingers. i had to use three spatulas. i got jam everywhere. but i did it. and as soon as i set the top cake on top of the filling i realized my monumental mistake: i was supposed to trim down the cakes.

so now they were uneven. and lopsided. and there was nothing i, a mere mortal tasked with the impossible task of making christmas eve walnut cake, could do about it.

so i continued to spread my frosting. which i had enough of. and tried and failed to not get jam everywhere.

in the end it was almost presentable. not great. slightly lopsided. and definitely not as nice as any of my great aunts cakes.

which left me with Trial Number 7: Chilling It

our fridge was being taken up by other important christmas eve things (though not as important as my cake. the walnut cake) so i had to put it in the car. which was fine because there is snow on the ground.

i covered my cake. the walnut cake. in tin foil and hoped i wouldn’t accidentally squish it. and then i went outside. i tried to steal my moms shoes to walk outside. she was not impressed.

“you know, saph,” she said. “some of the time you’re pretty great. the other half of the time you’re really weird.”

i could not agree more.

i put my cake on the trunk. prayed to the cake gods and went inside.

on the one hand if the cake is good, i will be stuck making walnut cake for christmas eve for the rest of my life. on the other hand, if it sucks i will never have to make another one.

Trial Number Eight: The Tasting still waits.

[reasonsforhope]

"Claire Cao was only a senior in high school when she saw a vital need in her community — and filled it. 

In 2024, the teenager spent her time outside of school volunteering at Blanchet House, a Portland-based nonprofit that serves people experiencing homelessness through food donations, clothing drives, and mental health assistance programs. 

As she logged hours as a Blanchet House student ambassador, Cao soon realized how difficult it was for community members to keep track of shelter openings, rotating food service programs, and available mental health resources. 

“During one afternoon meal service, I met Dano, an unhoused man who shared his struggles with accessing basic services like food and shelter,” Cao said in a recent press release. 

“Left disconnected from essential services, Dano described his struggles of not knowing where to go or which shelters had available beds.”

Combining her love for technology, law, and public policy, Cao pulled available resources into a database and created the ShelterBridge app, which connects users to shelters and services in their area. 

“ShelterBridge wasn’t simply inspired by Dano — it was inspired by the realization that access to resources is a fundamental need that we, as a community, can do a better job of providing,” Cao emphasized. 

“I wanted to use my skills to build something that could bridge that gap, ensuring that no one falls through the cracks simply because they don’t know where to turn for help.”

In addition to linking users to services in their area, the app also has a rating system similar to Yelp. This system allows people to leave star ratings and reviews on shelters, food services, hotlines, and legal aid. 

The ratings not only help users differentiate between services in their area — but they also provide invaluable feedback to the nonprofits, organizations, and government programs that service them. 

“We've been asking for an app like this for a number of years now,” Scott Kerman, executive director of Blanchet House, told Portland news station KGW.

In mid-January, Cao won the 2024 Congressional App Challenge in Oregon’s First District for her work with ShelterBridge — outcompeting 12,682 student submissions. 

Since the app first launched, Cao and her growing ShelterBridge team — which includes enterprising high schoolers and college students from across the nation — have expanded services to California, Philadelphia, Seattle, Los Angeles, and North Carolina. 

“Claire and the team she’s working with deserve all the credit in the world because they're doing something that frankly nobody else has really stepped up to do,” Kerman said. 

“To have the kind of technology that we use every day with hotels and other kinds of reservations [to] help people get into safe, supportive and dignified shelter would be a game changer for our community.”

Although the app started as a class project, Cao said ShelterBridge’s success has far surpassed her expectations. 

“I do hope to keep it up,” she told Oregon outlet KOIN 6 News, as she looked ahead to college and beyond. “I’ve made a lot of efforts to expand it to other cities as well — and it’s something I can mostly do from a computer or my laptop at home.”

-via GoodGoodGood, March 21, 2025