#mostly i'm just Aware it's a dream and if i'm like ''this dream sucks'' i can just decide to wake up

[magentagalaxies]

the saga of my newly fucked up sleep schedule is apparently not over!! even tho i did get a normal 8 hours last night i was in a show today and when that wrapped and i got back to my dorm at like 4:30-ish i decided to take a quick nap which turned into me waking up at almost NINE PM

on the plus side i'm fairly sure i lucid dreamed a couple of times during the nap so that's a plus

[buckets-and-trees]

Cedar Trees OR I’m Your Man + sleepy morning orgasm 😘

Both! both both both!

BUT

I did write FINALLY FINISH a little something for one of them. I've been thinking of this man for quite a while...

Title: Morning Radiance Characters/Pairings: soft dark!Mafia!Andy Barber x female!reader Word Count: 750

Content Warnings: explicit smut - nipple play, spanking, oral - female receiving, vaginal fingering, implied oral - male receiving, somnophilia, DUBIOUS CONSENT

Logistical Notes: Takes place immediately after I'm Your Man. Probably can't stand alone. Not edited.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

You stir slowly into consciousness, your body already humming with pleasure, but every inch of you is also still heavy with exhaustion. There's a warm glow of morning sun touching your skin, but it's not too bright yet.

You become aware of a warm, wet mouth worshipping your breast, and you let out a content little sigh. A large hand is kneading at the other breast, but your stirring spurs that calloused hand to move down the softness of your stomach, caress your hip, and then down the length of your leg. When it moves back up, this time along the tender flesh of your inner thigh, you spread your legs and give a little hum, aware of your nakedness and glad you don’t have to rustle out of any clothes and can cling to the strings of sleepiness. You’re already wet, and you distantly register you don’t know how long your bedmate has been working your body.

A nip at the underswell of your breast makes you gasp and draws you closer to wakefulness, but your closed eyes are still too content, so you stay mostly in your sleepy state.

“Mmm, I love how responsive you are,” the voice still thick with morning roughness makes you tense as the events of the night before flood your memory.

It’s Andy Barber’s voice.

It’s Andy Barber’s palatial bed you’re in.

It’s Andy Barber’s beard and lips and tongue exquisitely torturing your breast. His hand teasing your thoroughly ruined pussy.

Andy Barber who thoroughly ruined and punished your holes and limbs.

Andy who dangled ruining your career and reputation by spreading the word you were a thief after having someone plant three of his Rolex watches in your bag and “confronting” you about it after all was said and done with the charity gala you had planned and executed flawlessly.

He removes his hand only to rain down a quick succession of slaps to your pussy, and you cry out and try to snap your legs closed, but it’s futile as part of his lower half rests over your right leg, keeping you splayed out for him.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your breast before giving it one more long suck. “I’ll always temper the pain with pleasure.”

You whimper and try again to move your hips, but he bars them to the bed and quickly settles at your core, nestled between your thighs with your legs over his shoulders.

And then he worships your cunt with slow kisses and long licks, soothing the sting he’d inflicted and stoking your body’s need for him.

“No,” you whine.

He chuckles because even as the protest falls from your lips, your right hand comes down to twine your fingers in his hair and push him more firmly against your dripping hole.

You bring your other hand up to cover your face, and then you pull it back, clocking the unfamiliar feel of metal against your skin and unexpected weight there.

Twisting your wrist to look at the back of your hand, you gasp at the flawless, sparkling diamond engagement ring. It’s larger than anything you would have dreamed of, but just within the realm of still being tasteful and not ostentatious.

He slipped it on your hand at some point in the night.

“You like it?” Andy pauses, leaning up to look at you and gage your reaction.

“It’s gorgeous,” you confess, but it’s one more thing you didn’t ask for, didn’t get to choose, in a long line of things Andy has promised and taken since revealing what he wanted last night.

“It’s perfect for you,” he says with satisfaction before returning to your clit.

You whimper as he edges you ever closer to orgasm.

The previous night he’d wrung every drop of pleasure out of you, playing your body until you passed out with exhaustion. He’d told you not to plan on leaving his bed this weekend, and as he pushes you onto that precipice yet again, you don’t question now how serious he is. He plunges two thick fingers into your hole, and you groan in the bliss that overtakes you.

He lets you catch your breath while he kisses back up your body, then kneels over your chest and taps his hard cock to your chin. “Come on, sweetheart, let me see that pretty ring shine while you jerk me off and suck the tip of my cock.”

And that’s only the first set of orgasms for the morning.

He’s got the rest of Saturday and Sunday to enjoy his new fiancé.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

read the next part: PREPARE FOR TAKEOFF I'm Your Man Collection Masterlist

Do we still like I'm Your Man Andy? I know I haven't posted anything for them since December...

[sfhvn-alltheas]

An open letter to Netflix and for everyone who feels the same

I would like to apologize in advance for any linguistic errors, English is not my native language, but I will do my best to express my concerns appropriately.

I am reaching out to you to express my deep disappointment at your cancellation of Dead Boy Detectives. The news of your decision hit me hard and I would like to ask you to reconsider. I understand that Netflix is ​​a company that is about money, about numbers, about streams, about performance. It is a business and the decisions are based not on emotions but on lucrative fundamentals.

We all know that.

But this cannot work in the long term, not without an outcry from your viewers. Because what you do is selling dreams. You might not see us, but we are here, we are being absorbed into the alternative realities you have created. We live these dreams you sold us. 

You know this, you know that you mostly produce more than just mindless entertainment that is subsequently forgotten, and that is exactly why I feel so let down by you. You are aware that our hearts and souls are attached to these characters, that’s what you want and it totally makes sense. Because whoever is emotional involved stays long term. A show can be so many different things for different people: a place of well-being, comfort, escapism, distraction, mental support, self-discovery. Queer and inclusive programs in particular help people and make them feel seen, understood and accepted. A show can be the only light in a darkness that so many people find themselves in today. A show with their characters can save lives.

How then do only numbers decide whether something continues or not? 

You, as the producer of dreams, have a responsibility to us. Money and numbers should be secondary in your industry. Feel free to call me naive, I am, I like to be, I have to be in this world, but I believe in humanity, in the values ​​that you claim to represent. Not every show can bring in billions. Not all of them can be Wednesday, Squid Game or Bridgerton. Not within fourteen days, not without support. With your impatience, you are depriving great shows of the chance to grow and, over time, attract the viewership that meets your expectations. What I'm trying to express here isn't only about Dead Boy Detectives. It's a fundamental problem.

I am not okay with this

Julie and the Phantoms

The OA

The Society

1899

Six of Crows

Shadow and Bone

Archive 81

Lockwood & Co.

Glamorous

Half Bad: The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself

First Kill

Inside Job

Midnight Club

Warrior Nun

- just to name a few. All this shows have met the same fate, they all were cancelled too soon and never got the chance to grow, to become a next Stranger Things, the next slowburn success.

This has to stop! Imagine having cancelled Stranger Things after one season back in the days. What you would have missed! Instead, you give up on shows too easily without hesitation and disappoint the very people who could have been your allies in the effort to bring the next success.

I honestly don't understand that. And it's not fair either. Not to us, not to the creators and actors who gave their everything. You should trust them to be capable of creating something epic if only they had a little more time. 

I'll tell you how it is: The news that Dead Boy Detectives had been cancelled is devastating. My life pretty much sucks for a few years now and there is little to nothing that still brings me joy. A second season has been the only thing I've been looking forward to these past few months, the anticipation has been the reason I'm still here. You took that away from me. From all of us that are like me. Now I’m sitting here and write this letter, hoping to save the show that has given me so much confidence and joy and meaning, visibility and understanding that it's okay to be who I am. It's not fair that I have to fight to keep this precious show instead of enjoying it while I deal with the wreckage of my life. 

If you don't understand that what you're doing is impacting so many people, then maybe you shouldn't be selling dreams. Better sell electronics.

I won't stop fighting for what means so much to me. It's not too late yet, you can at least right the wrong you did with Dead Boy Detectives. Please do it, give Dead Boy Detectives another chance. We, the viewers, deserve it, the creators and actors deserve it, and most of all the show itself deserves it because it is the greatest thing I have seen in many years.

Thank you for your time and for considering my request.

[im-not-corrupted]

I was consumed by the idea of Merman!Hob in the last few days and now I'm writing a Dreamling fic about it so have a small, 1.7k snippet from the much larger fic :)

Includes: near-drowning, near death experiences, perhaps many medical inaccuracies because I am not a doctor and haven't edited yet, Merman!Hob, Prince!Dream and some light angst.

---------

He awakes with a gasping, heaving breath. His lungs are greedy things, sucking in air with desperation, and he presses a hand to his chest. Beneath his palm, his heart races. Adrenaline and panic both fill his veins and his hand shakes. His lungs feel full, but as he coughs mostly involuntarily, nothing comes up at all.

It takes a bit for him to calm down. When he does, when his lungs stop heaving and he stops coughing and he is left with nothing but an ache in his lungs, his head and a rawness in his throat, he looks around himself.

He sits on a beach, the sands golden and kissed by the sun. It shines down on him, blessing his face with its light. His clothes are soaked through and no doubt ruined, and before him—before him is the ocean.

It holds none of the fierceness he saw earlier, and he stares at it blankly. It looks as welcoming, as lovely, as it did the day he stepped onto the ship. His mind had been occupied, yes, but he had enough awareness to acknowledge the sea’s beauty.

Not enough awareness to acknowledge its dangers, though. He remembers in startling clarity the coldness of its waters, the ferocity with which it drowned him, the storm that waged and threw him overboard.

He should’ve been more careful.

It is not just the ocean that lies before him, but a man, too. A man, staring at him with honey-eyes that catch the sunlight as though they were made for it, with a curiosity on his face that, if it weren’t for the sudden anxiety twisting his all-too empty stomach, would’ve endeared him immediately. His skin is tan, golden like the sands, and some distant part of his brain wants to press his lips to that skin and find out what it tastes like for himself. Like ocean salt and sweat and the sun itself, he thinks, and then considers the possibility that he may have suffered some brain damage due to oxygen deprivation.

It takes him a bit to find his voice. During that time, the man—sitting in the ocean as though he belongs there, ignorant of its gentle waves lapping at him—continues to stare, head tilted like a particularly curious bird. “Who are you?” he asks, wincing at the hoarseness of his throat. It feels scraped raw, and he thinks he would like to simply not speak for a while, only—only this is rather strange, isn’t it?

The man’s shoulders shake with laughter. He is a beautiful creature, this man, with chestnut hair framing his face. Laughter, and amusement, becomes him. Distantly, Morpheus is aware that he should probably take offence at the man’s laughter, only—only he doesn’t really have the energy. If anything, he thinks he’d much rather sleep. “The one who saved you, obviously. Or did you forget you nearly drowned?"

He has half a mind to scowl at the strange man in the water, but only just has enough energy to narrow his eyes. "You saved me," he repeats dumbly. In his defence, he did nearly drown, and sleep calls to him now. Nearly drowning is, apparently, rather exhausting. "We were in the middle of the ocean. We weren't even close to any land. How did you—"

Come to think of it, he can't recall having seen this man's face before. Though perhaps that's explained easily. He was distracted on the ship, after all, and it wasn't like he went out of the way to remember the entire crew. Both Telute and Lucienne always said he should try to interact with people a little more than he does, but he thinks recent events made him exempt from that rule these last few months.

Still. The man's statement doesn't really make sense. They were in the middle of an ocean, and in a storm no less. It would've been impossible for the man to save him then, at least not without a boat or ship of his own.

Thinking of it made his head hurt more. For a moment he feels ready to simply shrug and accept the nonsensical answer as truth in the hopes that maybe the man would leave him to rest. Logically, he knows that isn't what will happen at all. If this man knows who Morpheus is, if he recognises him, then there will be some kind of demand. A boon for saving the Prince's life.

He can't do anything about that now, though, and the idea of laying on this beach and letting himself wither under the sun's heat seems very appealing. He doesn't even know where they are, or how close he is to his kingdom. How he's supposed to make it back in this condition, he doesn't know. The task seems impossible, in all honesty.

The man does not leave him to rest, not even when Morpheus simply nods stiffly and says, "Sure. Saved me. Alright." He remains in the ocean actually, the waves lapping at his torso, and continues to stare at him blankly as though expecting something a little more. Eventually, he rolls his eyes—Rude, Morpheus thinks, but hardly cares at all in the moment—and moves a little closer. It looks almost like the ocean parts for him, but that's ridiculous.

Then—well, then things get even stranger. Which also seems impossible, but—there they are. The man shifts in the water and brings what looks like a tail out of the ocean, all golden scales and fins. Beautiful, he thinks, knowing he's staring but seemingly unable to help it. Of course the man's tail would be golden. That only makes sense when the rest of him could've been carved from sunlight.

A little belatedly, he realises just what he's staring at. Which is the man, who had a fish's tail.

Hallucinating. He is hallucinating, then. That makes sense. Still, he can't help but laugh quietly—it makes him wince, his lungs still raw and aching, but the pain is temporary and certainly doesn't matter much if he's hallucinating—and says, "You're a merman."

The statement is ludicrous. Morpheus wonders just how much damage nearly drowning can do to a person, and then figures he doesn't want to know at all, actually.

"That is what you call us, yes," the man agrees easily.

Sure. Why not. "Why did you save me then?"

He shrugs softly. “Too pretty for death,” the—the merman, of all things, tells him. It sounds almost petulant.

He is losing his mind. He had swallowed a lot of water. A merman. “One can be too pretty for death?” he asks weakly, his throat hoarse and his chest tight with pain. The ridiculous nature of the question at least makes that pain easy to ignore. It will get him later, he knows that much, but he lets himself be distracted by his amusement at the situation for a while.

The merman blinks at him, expression entirely serious. “You are.”

”Right.” Right. Of course. Too pretty for death. That makes sense. As much sense as a merman fishing him out of the water does.

Whatever energy let him carry this conversation leaves him suddenly and he falls onto his back on top of the sand, his elbows failing to hold him up any longer. The sun glares down at him and he gazes back up at it blearily. Exhaustion clings to him just as the beach does to his sea-soaked clothes. Sleep seems like a wonderful, bright idea.

He let his eyes fall shut. It isn't very effective for blocking out the sun’s rays—it remains insistent, and closing his eyes doesn't give him the satisfaction of darkness that he dearly wants. Still, while that would’ve been a problem any other time, his body yearned for the void, to let the dark take him. It would be easy to simply lay here and wither, until either the tide takes him or someone finds him. Whichever came first. He didn’t mind either way.

Then the merman spoke again. “Are you dying, pretty one?”

It took a great deal of effort, but he grunts, “No.”

”Are you sure?”

He is not, actually. But that is no concern of this mermaid, and he merely answers, “I am certain.”

Silence follows that statement. Morpheus lets himself relax, lets himself hope this is it. He can sleep now, he thought—and is quickly proven wrong, for the merman states, “You look like you’re dying. Does anybody look for you?”

He hardly cares. Distantly, though, he thinks Lucienne might be. Jessamy and Matthew, too. “Perhaps,” he says after a couple of minutes pass, when he realises he has not yet replied. "I would like to sleep now."

The merman makes a considering noise. "I do not know much about humans," he said slowly, and Morpheus can practically feel the concern in his voice now, "but I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea. I'll stay and talk to you until you're found."

"Must you?" he asks, a desperate edge to his voice. The merman's voice is pleasant enough, yes, but rest is the preferred option here, regardless of what he says.

"Yes," he confirms. Morpheus's eyes are still closed so he can't actually see but he can imagine the smile on his face easily enough.

He sighs heavily and wonders what he did to deserve this. Then figures this is some weird, twisted kind of punishment for all that happened with Orpheus and Calliope and resigns himself to his fate. "Very well."

The merman talks, almost endlessly, until the sun is low in the sky. It is, truly, an impressive amount of talking. Morpheus doesn't remember much of that afternoon. At some point, he regains just enough energy to sit up, to listen more attentively. The merman, whose name he doesn't learn, seems to appreciate that. And just when despair begins to eat at him—I will not be found, he thinks and despite his inaction while he sank into the ocean, the idea panics him, I will die on this beach—there are calls of his name from behind him. They are voices he recognises and his heart picks up its pace when he turns around to see Lucienne, Telute and Jessamy walking down the beach towards him, each of them looking a little rough but all of them alive.

When he turns back to the ocean, the merman is no longer there, and Morpheus wonders if he dreamt the whole thing up. He does not mention it as Jessamy helps him to his feet, as Telute pulls him in for a hug, as the three of them begin to make it back home, to their duties, but he does not forget the kind eyes of the man who saved him from drowning.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

[beetleviolet]

Let's talk about Bishop from TOTTMNT

(Tw sibling death)

@hahachiknfunny

Ok. I'm going to just get this out of the way at the beginning.

I HATE THIS CHARACTER

And not in a "aaa this villain makes me so mad bc they're evil" no I mean I hate the way her character is developed and justified.

IF YOU DISAGREE PLEASE DO EXPLAIN I WOULD QUITE GENUINLY LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!

So I am still working my way through a lot of different tmnt series (currently alternating between 2012 and 2003), so I don't have a lot of experience with the usual Bishop character. Based on the little I know about him (mostly from fanfiction), my general impression was that he was this bigoted white guy who was like. A mutant nazi or something. He hates mutants because they are different, they are "flawed", and therefore they are a threat. I figured he was just a hateful asshole, and hadn't thought about it more then that.

But for this, they decided to go in a different direction. The ✨tragic backstory✨ direction. Which is a pretty good direction! IF you do it right. Which, in my humble opinion, THEY ABSOLUTELY DID NOT!!!!

Ok let's get some actual points here!

When we get Josefina Bishop's backstory, she starts as this passionate, nice character who is eager to achieve her robot building dreams. Nothing about her is mean or hating or anything of the sort. She is exasperated by Rod, but doesn't say anything incredibly bitter to him, she's just frustrated being forced to work with this rich guys man child. Which yeah! Thats fair! She has a sister who died and who is the inspiration of her work. Awesome!

And then her workshop is destroyed.

Let me just add. She is being funded by a millionaire. She probably has insurance! Her sister is in no way harmed by these events. And yet her response to property damage is DOMESTIC FUCKING TERRORISM.

She immediately gets bitter and revenge-filled, deciding that she should exterminate ALL THE MUTANTS!!!

You know, the mutants that were helping fight Superfly? The enemies of the one who destroyed her work? THEYRE LITERALLY ON HER SIDE???

And not only does this hatred of Superfly extend to the turtles.

SHE ALMOST KILLS A SUBWAY TRAIN FULL OF PEOPLE!!!

Because, of course "iTs A sMaLL pRicE tO PaYyYyyy"

Bestie. Honey. Girlfriend.

Its just. Weird to me? It doesn't seem very thought out. I would have loved a kind of change up from the usual Bishop themes, but just because its different and new isn't an excuse for it to suck!

IT TOTALLY COULD HAVE WORKED AND HERE IS HOW.

Nickelodeon needs to stop being a bitch and kill off her sister during the Superfly conflict.

Its very clearly what they WANTED to do. Its like the original concept was that her sister died, but that was considered too violent, so they took that out, but then didn't replace it with something else. And they tried so hard to be like "ohhh its about my sisterrrr" GIRL WHAT THIS IS ABOUT SUPERFLY DESTROYING YOUR SHIT AND YOU BEING BUTT HURT ABOUT IT.

And another thing! For a character to turn evil, they have to SNAP! And a character can't snap unless they are already under enough pressure to make that a threat.

Make her be cruel to Rod. Have her be control freak who has to have all the variables perfectly in place. Bitter about the sponsors that doubted and rejected her. Make her already angry at the world, have the only thing that matters to her be her robots and her sister, the two things that were always at her side. And then one day Superfly kills her sister and destroys her lifes work. Yes, she can rebuild the robots. Not the sister though, and making them without her is such an empty and performative motion.

Mutants have gotten people killed. They're too dangerous, its too much of a risk.

This mindset would make so much more sense if they just HAD SUPERFLY KILL HER SISTER LIKE OMG.

Also she had several direct conversations with the turtles, so she was well aware they were intelligent beings.

ALSO! She didn't target the mutants who used to work with Superfly. That would TOTALLY make sense even without the sister thing!

But no. She had to kill the TURTLES. The ones who are widely acknowledged and widely known to be the ones to stop Superfly and save NYC and the world.

But you know what? Maybe i could let that go. Its a kids show, right? And I did like her recovery arc at the end.

Until they. You know. COMPLETELY UN DID ALL OF THAT!!!!

I thought that maybe Bishop will be like. Idk a spy for the mutants or something, like a double agent, but tbh based on the previous writing of her character, I wouldn't put it past the writers to just. Have her do a complete 180. I'm just mad she's going to be a reoccurring character.

Anyway. I kinda hate to dump on this show so much bc I love (most) everything else about it. Bishop was the lowest point to me by far.

[monzamash]

red desert — daniel ricciardo

summary - I'm a slag for boys on dirt bikes and I'm not proud of it. warnings - mostly fluff with a LOT of swearing (sorry), sexual references, crude language, smut adjacent content, aussie slang. 18+ word count - 2.8k a/n - This is my first attempt at writing for F1 and it's also my triumphant return to tumblr in like, 10 years so go easy on me! masterlist

“At first I thought he was in his element but now he’s hooning around like a fucking loose unit.

“He’s a professional driver, mate. Don’t stress.”

Daniel really was in his element. After 8 months of non-stop madness, countless flights and sleepless nights – he was home. Home at last. It had been a day marked in his calendar since December last year when you had boarded the plane with him in Perth and bided farewell to his family who he adored so much. Every goodbye hurting more than the last until every ounce of energy had been sucked from his soul, resulting in him conking out a few minutes into your flight back to your home away from home.

He had been gifted a few extra weeks back in Western Australia over Christmas and New Years now that his schedule and commitments had dwindled down. Although it had been a hard pill to swallow in the aftermath of his new contract, the silver lining was more time with the people who mattered the most. The ones he had been neglecting for the better part of 15 years and counting. He had missed so many family events, so many birthdays, weddings, and even a funeral. Each time he missed out on being apart of those special memories, you could see his big, loving heart breaking from the guilt.

But Daniel was going to be damned if he didn’t make the most of his time at home, savouring those extra hours to start making up for lost time. And he was bloody going for it. Loud yahoos from the neighbourhood kids could be heard all the way from where you were sitting on the porch, cider in hand and a packet of salt and vinegar chips abandoned beside you. It was scorching hot as it always was this time of the year in Australia. 37 degrees Celsius but dropping as the sun slipped behind the large gum trees that lined the Ricciardo’s property. It really was every young country boy or girls dream out there.

Nothing but red dirt and a mouthful of blowflies as far as the naked eye could see. It was glorious.

“Now he’s just taking the piss!” You screeched to Michael who had surrendered to the blazing sun and sought shelter under the veranda beside you. Michael was Daniel’s right hand man and his personal trainer rolled into one. He had also been a dear friend of the Ricciardo family for many, many years and had been invited along for the festivities.

Michael chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly, “Your boyfriend, your problem,” He replied with a knowing look as you quirked an eyebrow and watched Daniel challenging a 12 year old child on a beat up PeeWee 50 that looked like it could’ve been from the 80s.

“Sometimes it feels like you’re the boyfriend and I’m his handler,” You stated as Michael shook his head and took a swig of his beer, “You know that’s not true, mate. That dickhead loves you more than you could ever know.”

You nodded and looked back out at the small crowd gathering to watch the love of your life jump a couple of shoddily built ramps on his revved up dirt bike. He was gonna kill himself, you thought.

“I know he does.”

Daniel’s love for you had never been questioned, not for a second. No matter where he was in the world, it didn't matter the time or place; he was thinking about you. And visa versa. When you were sitting alone in your shared apartment in Monte Carlo, he was on your mind, wondering what he was doing or what insane thing he got to do that day. You were each other’s world but you were also hyper aware that racing came hand in hand with your relationship with Daniel – no matter how much he insisted it didn’t. The proof was in the pudding.

“You know that he finally told Christian that he wouldn’t be at every race next year. Straight up. I didn’t think he would,” You said, fascinated to see if Michael agreed with that decision or not. Daniel’s career was at a crossroads and so was Michael’s if he wasn’t racing every weekend.

“’Bout fuckin’ time. He’s been working like a pack horse for over a decade and deserves some time to breathe and I’m sure that time will be well spent,” Michael nodded and brushed off his shorts as he stood up, “This is all he’s ever wanted, you know? All of this with you,” He pointed out to the man-made red soil racetrack with a wink.

“Make the most of it.”

“Cheers to that,” You smiled as you clinked your bottle with Michael. He got it. And he was the first person to advocate for Daniel when the going got tough, whether that be in the paddock or in the media. It was no secret that Daniel had been through the wringer not knowing if he had a seat next season, or if he’d be involved in the sport at all. It had been a shit-show and you and Michael had front row seats for the better part of 6 months watching it all unfold. The turmoil had nearly broken his seemingly unbreakable spirit but he was stronger than anyone could’ve imagined.

Daniel’s loud, boisterous laugh broke you from your thoughts and you watched as he pulled off the way-too-small helmet he’d borrowed from his brother-in-law. He dropped the dirt bike down on the small patch of lawn that was barely holding on in the sweltering heat and bounded towards you with that infamous shit-eating grin, “Heard you were worried about me up here?” He asked more as a question rather than a statement.

“Course not,” You scoffed, “You’re a big boy who can handle those small, yet extremely unsafe ramps out there.” You were half-joking and he could see the genuine concern behind your eyes. He knew you better than anyone.

“Oh, I know that you know I’m a big boy,” He murmured under his breath as he tried to sit down on your lap, still completely covered in dust and sweat, “Shouldn’t be tellin’ the whole world though, ay?” He teased as you pushed him off, refusing to let him dirty your perfectly clean clothes before dinner.

“Eww, you fuckin’ stink. Get off me,” You laughed, standing up from the rocking chair that you were lounging in and placing your small hands on his chest. “So handsome but so sticky,” You quietly grimaced as you looked up into his playful chestnut eyes and brushed your soft fingertips over the cotton shirt he was jeering you in.

Daniel’s eyebrow rose with intrigue as his tanned, tattooed arm wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer. He was wearing that damn sleeveless shirt that he knew riled you up at the best of times, but the combination of his relaxed demeanour, toothy grin and the way the thin material was sticking to every muscle on his body, it had you hot under the collar. That was the effect he had on you and boy, did he know it. Daniel took advantage of your close proximity and leaned down, pecking your pouting lips.

“I’ll let you join me in the shower if you admit you were a tiiiiny bit scared,” He taunted in a hushed voice, dragging out his words and making your eyes roll.  

“Please!” You mocked, “This is a lose-lose for you, Danny. You’ve never been good at blackmailing, darling and it shows,” You gently poked his tummy and spun around on your heel, making your way back inside to enjoy the air-conditioner that was blasting through the house.

“Fuck,” Daniel scolded himself, realising that there was no way you would admit to being scared, “I’m really off my game today. I thought doing those sickass wheelies would’ve reeled you in.”

He was playing with you, although watching him totally dominate a bunch of heckling teenagers did make you squeeze your thighs that little bit closer together. But you couldn’t tell him that.

You chuckled, secretly loving how defeated he must’ve looked sulking behind you like a sad puppy. Daniel’s beast mode was something you admired, craved even, especially during a race weekend or in your bedroom after teasing him with your wandering fingertips. He had a ferociousness that so many people got to witness on TV throughout his career and a level of intensity that was almost hard to believe he had when you got to know the man underneath the helmet. Most of the time Daniel was gentle, caring and an aspiring comedian if you asked him. He was always the life of the party but he was also the light in the life of everyone he knew.

You were one of the lucky ones who got to experience all the different facets of his personality, some you loved more than others. Sulking on Christmas Eve wasn’t one you were particularly fond of but you had a plan to rectify that – one that you knew would perk him up.

Daniel was taken aback when you turned and continued strutting down the hallway before entering the room you were sharing together while you were here. “Lock the door and please don’t make me regret this,” You said before kicking off your slides and turning around to see that cheesy fucking grin again. He was beautiful but insufferable.

“That’s it – I’m out!” You fake shouted and threw your hands up before Daniel surged forward and snaked his arm around you again, his smile dropping into a smirk.

“I’m just fuckin’ with you, baby. Come ‘ere,” He whispered, capturing your curled up bottom lip with his in a sweet kiss, “Let me love you.”

Your hands crawled up and brushed against his warm neck, small grains of dirt snuck under your fingernails as they dragged gently across his glistening skin. Daniel kicked off his Vans and a small whimper slipped from your lips as he slowly nudged you towards the en suite, one eye slightly open so he didn’t ram you against the tiled bathroom wall. Well, at least not yet anyway.

“We’re just showering. No funny business,” You mumbled against his perfect lips as if you could read Daniel's filthy mind, not wanting to break the spine-tingling kiss but needing to put down some ground rules.

“I should be saying that to you, ma’am,” Daniel nuzzled into your neck while skilfully unbuttoning the black denim shorts that were clinging to your hips, “You’re the one who loves getting railed in the shower, remember?”

Of course you did. You had countless memories of being fucked into a state of absolute ecstasy by Daniel either in your shower back in Monaco or that unbelievably lavish hotel shower in Abu Dhabi that was the size of a studio apartment. All of those visions came rushing back as you stood in your future parents-in-law’s spare bedroom, half-naked and wishing for nothing more than for their son to do exactly that. Fuck you.

“Don’t say railed,” You quietly moaned as Daniel focused in on the sweet spot just below your ear and tossed the white shirt you’d stolen from him aside, “So vulgar.” You were smirking and Daniel could tell from the tone in your voice. He also knew how much you loved his dirty talk.

“You fuuucking love it,” He deeply groaned and grasped your face in his large hands, quickly bringing you back to the present so you were looking into those gorgeous brown eyes again. You were a goner.

“I really, really do,” You whispered and reached for the waistband on his shorts, “Feels like you do too.”

Daniel was always just a couple of minutes from being exactly where you needed him in times like this. Hard. It never really took much besides a few sweet nothings whispered into his ear and maybe a touch or two to get the show underway. He had an unimaginable level of self-control but when you needed him, he was right there, standing to attention and desperate for what was to come. Pun-intended.

“Always ready for you, baby',” He whispered as his lips trailed over your chest that was on display and perfectly positioned for him to have his way, “Thank you god,” He playfully teased, praying up at the ceiling with a grin before you shushed him and reached for the shower taps.

“You’re a dork,” You jested sweetly as his fingertips slid your very colourful, polka dot undies down, making him chuckle. “Not as dorky as these knickers though.” He teased but deep down, he thought you looked cute.

“Don’t even try and pretend that this isn’t what you imagine when we’ve been apart for a month and you’re thinking about me in some ridiculously expensive hotel room, god knows where,” You sarcastically replied and posed up against the shower door with an exaggerated pout, “So hot, right?”

Daniel’s bravado dropped for a split second as his eyes glanced over you, taking in the image before him. He was mesmerised by your beauty every single time you stepped into a room, and when you left a room if he was being completely honest with his shameless self. This was what he imagined when he found himself desperately missing you, hand wrapped around his aching cock late at night, wishing it was you squeezing out everything he had to give. He wanted you. He needed you. 

“You will forever be my fantasy, baby. And probably the death of me too,” Daniel declared before guiding you under the lukewarm water. He didn't need to say much more because he understood that you knew how much he missed your touch on those lonely nights. And you were always a FaceTime call away if he needed that little extra push across the finish line.

Daniel took the lead. Deep down all he really wanted in this moment was to be close to you. All the teasing and flirting was just a bit of fun to pass the time. He was obsessed with you and god, did he want to do unspeakable things to you but right now, he just needed to feel you there. Physically having you by his side had been a luxury during the season and you both hated being apart but that was how it was. Like it or lump it. But being able to stand under a cascading waterfall and wash off the day you’d spent laughing and living life together was an indulgence that you never took for granted. Especially not now.

“Feel good, honey?” You asked, gently massaging his sun-kissed back. Every muscle contracted as the knots loosed under his taut skin, begging for a release and you delivered. “Feels incredible.”

Daniel closed his eyes and savoured the sensation of your hands moving down his tight back. Everything hurt all of the time with the intense training and relentless race weekends so having you take away all that tension and all that stress for him made him smile. He could feel his mouth tugging upwards as you pressed a firm kiss to his shoulder blade and a softer one to his spine before wrapping your arms around his slim waist, “I’ll wash your hair out before we run out of hot water.”

“Ta,” Daniel quietly mumbled, suddenly lost for words.

But he knew he could be quiet with you. The silence was comfortable as you turned him around to face you so you could run your fingers through his soapy curls, making sure every scarp of dirt, grass and more than likely a bug or two was rinsed down the drain. The water swirling around your feet was tinted orange as it washed away and Daniel couldn’t help but giggle when you gently scratched his scalp with your fingernails. His eyes were closed and an involuntary smile crept across your face as he groaned in pleasure. Scalp massages are the greatest, you thought to yourself.

“You’re such a little grub – look at the water,” You teased, moving your hands from his hair to his jaw, forcing him to look at the mess he’d made.

“That’s pure Aussie blood, sweat and tears right there,” Daniel retorted with his best Bogan accent as he shook his curls and wiped the running water from his eyes, sending droplets flying everywhere.

“Alright, Paul Hogan – let’s get out of here,” You tutted with a smile and gave his chest a light tap, motioning for him to grab you a towel to dry off.

“We could just air dry, you know? Save on laundry and all that,” Daniel winked and you fleetingly saw that naughty glint in his eyes before he stepped forward with a towel open, ready to wrap you up like a burrito.

“I’d be so into that if I didn’t think your niece or nephew could burst in any second,” You reasoned and Daniel wholeheartedly agreed, although still slightly disappointed. “Yeah, probably don’t wanna scar them for life with this rig, ey?” He chuckled and methodically dried off every inch of skin on your body with crude remarks aplenty. Obviously.

"We can have our own little christmas eve celebration later if you can hold off until then," You bargained as Daniel stood up and pushed his wet curls back off his forehead, causing small droplets to slip down his sun-kissed cheeks. His bright smile was back in full force and the fist pump of excitement was a nice touch.

"You know I can't make any promises, babe. Might have to wrap it up early," He winked and you couldn't stop the blush creeping up your neck. That was the effect he had on you from day one and that was how it would always be.

a/n - I have so many ideas for Daniel and a couple of other drivers so let me know if you liked this one or any story ideas you'd like to see written! #monzamashmasterlist

[mechazushi]

Kaiju Number 8 AU ideas (Cuz' now I have several :-| ) [mostly KafHoshi flavored]

Genderbend AU: Kafka is a wholesome, supportive, big titty tomboy Blue collar girlfriend and Hoshina is a small titty, punk gf who runs a martial arts dojo and is a closeted manic pixie dream girl who need the emotional support to follow her dreams.

2. OOPS! All Kaiju!: Iharu (bright pink with wings), Aoi (navy blue with armor plating), Haruichi (sea foam green and spikes?/acid?/speedy? just double checked its definitely projectile spikes), and Kikoru (lemon yellow and blade creation/ manipulation) all undergo the same kaiju-ification process that Kafka went through and now he has to act as the Peter B. Parker of the group.

"Yes, you shed like a lizard does. It takes a month and it sucks the entire time. For the love of GOD, don't pick at it until it's ready otherwise you end up with rashes."

You could include Reno in there, I'm sure he'd have a badass design, but I didn't because I want to put him through the same mental downward spiral that I think Hoshina would go through when they realize they're into monsterf*cking.

Reno is just sitting there like "What is wrong with me?" and Hoshina is standing next to him with a blender bottle saying

"Bit of advice? Get over it soon because fighting the post nut clarity is not worth it."

To which Reno asks "How would you know?" as Hoshina's eyes pan over to Kafka who's teaching Iharu how to use his new kaiju tongue to eat out a pint sized ice cream container.

"O-oh...." Reno says as realization dawns on him.

"Yeah" Hoshina says as he smacks his lips, "That could be us right now."

"SI-SIR!"

"Hey, don't act like you weren't thinking it too."

3. Model AU: Mina runs a modeling agency and Hoshina is a talent scout. She sends him to find people that a modeling agency wouldn't typically consider for modeling in an attempt to showcase diversity in a positive light. Not knowing where to start, Hoshina heads to a bar and accidentally meets Kafka. The two talk and it comes up in conversation what Hoshina has been set out to do. As a joke, Kafka makes a bet that Hoshina can't make a garbage man be the next top model. (he's the garbage man in question.)

Kafka and Mina know each other. They fell out of contact when Mina made it into college and Kafka had to help support his grandparents through a rough time. Hoshina then hires Aoi (blasian) Haruichi (top surgery scars) and a delinquent brother-sister duo for the teen division (Iharu and Kikoru, who are orphans being raised by their successful gamer live-streamer older brother Narumi. I'm aware this part's a bit of a stretch, so just consider it a non-essential personal flair.) Reno was already a part of the modeling agency but had started to have problems dealing with body image, which Kafka helps correct and sets him on a healthier path. Iharu and Reno later become actors in a popular Power Rangers knock off show and become a canon couple on and off set.

[burning-academia-if]

How would the RO's react if they were dating MC and one day they suddenly called them to talk and said: "RO, I... I'm sorry, but... I don't think I love you anymore. Not in the way you want, but I really want us to stay friends"

You know, the asks I've gotten have been too joyful lately-

Rook: He had a feeling, but he'd hoped desperately it was just him overthinking it again. The burst of emotions are held at bay, and he only gives a simple nod, "Ok. Ok, we'll just go back to being friends." At the end of the day, despite the way it stabs into him, he'll stay by your side in whatever way you'll allow him

Beck: The past few weeks had enough tells, that he isn't surprised. He'd steeled himself for this conversation, for this break up, for a while. "I'd want to stay friends, too." It's easy for him to shift back into how the two of you were before. Sometimes, it makes the relationship feel like a dream then a memory of you two

Rhea: She stares at you, eyes glistening with tears she's refusing to cry. Her voice is shaky, and it takes her a moment to talk, "I...I think I need time. I'm sorry." She leaves before you can respond, locking herself away in her dorm, where she can finally let herself cry. She isn't sure how long it lasts, before she finally falls asleep. By morning, the calm and collected demeanor is back in place. The two of you are friends, but it's not the same, and eventually you stop talking to each other altogether.

Zoe: They suck in a breath, eyebrows furrowing. They stay quiet for a long time, and when you call their name again, they finally raise their head to look at you, "I...don't think I can do that. I..." It hurts, everything hurts. They make it back home and wave off their family to process everything. Time passes, and the two of you run into each other again. It's a little awkward, but the wound is mostly healed. Maybe you two could be friends, now that the worst is over

Lars: He has no reaction, his voice plain and diplomatic, "I get it. I don't think it'll work, but if you want to try to stay friends, we can." It's harder then you'd think. Maybe it's because you're still hyper aware of how different he still acts around you compared to others. Maybe it's because he's aware of it, too. It's like being suspended in a haze of emotions, neither of you can escape. Maybe Lars is right, maybe it's best to let each other go completely.

???: "If that's what you desire." They have a storm rushing through their chest, despite how calm their words are. They don't truly believe they can do it. Yet, much like Rook, they'll take whatever you offer them. They want to stay by your side, but would their endless love be a burden to you? You think they'd fade away, but the way they look at you never changes.

[accala]

Gordon Freeman and "The Player" : A Theory

(Spoilers for HLVRAI & HLGTA)

It's interesting to note that at the start of the first HLVRAI stream, Gordon, or rather the player addresses the chat as if they were streaming a modded Half-Life VR game. And as the series progresses, the chat disappears. Gordon starts acting as if the events in Black Mesa were real, to the point he’s questioning his reality. Any allusions to video game mechanics is met with confusion and hysteria. And the real kicker is that Gordon starts feeling real pain in-game. And then there's that convo about the Science Team's dreams later on in the series—with Gordon’s dream being a streamer for JustinTV. As if he wasn't already a streamer at the start of HLVRAI.

Gordon and The Player as a Single Entity

(NOTE: I’ve heard that some members had little to no knowledge about Half-life when they streamed the series. I know they didn't expect the series to grow in popularity—that's why chat was present in previous streams. And I'm VERY aware that the plot's built from improv and duct tape. But bear with me here as I try to build something coherent from Gordon’s behavior throughout HLVRAI.)

I like to think that the player was slowly getting sucked into the game. Maybe the resonance cascade was the catalyst that made everything real to the player—the reason why they could feel pain.

The player and Gordon were slowly melding together as one entity—Gordon's and the player's memories started meshing together. That's why Gordon mentions his wish to be a streamer, despite as the player, he already is one. That's why Gordon confidently says he has a son named Joshua, even though in canon he doesn't exist—Joshua being a part of the player's memories. Or why they mention going to MIT for theoretical physics, even though this info is part of canon Gordon's backstory.

Sure. This could be a player, who has little knowledge of Half-life, “roleplaying” as Gordon in order to play the game (as they mentioned at the start of the first stream). But when you start feeling sensation from drowning, monsters, gunshots, and getting your arm chopped off, why would you go through great lengths to stay “in-character”? Why bother roleplaying when it's clear that the game's broken? Why continue being Gordon Freeman?

I think, at a certain point in the series, the Player became Gordon and Gordon became the Player.

Despite Gordon's memories overtaking the player, I do think they were the bigger influence here. Gordon's personality in this series was based of the player, in which their choices were mostly influenced from.

The Player as Themselves

[DISCLAIMER: For the rest of this post, I will be addressing "The Player" as "Wayne" (and mentioning Holly), since Gnome Chompski talks about them in-universe. I am in NO WAY talking about the IRLs in this context. HLGTA implies that wayneradiotv's channels are canon in the HLGTA universe. However, HLGTA is yet to be confirmed as canon in the HLVRAI universe—from what I know. For the sake of the rest of this post, I will be talking under the context that HLGTA is canon in the HLVRAI universe; and will mention “Wayne” and "Holly" as fictional counterparts of the real deal.]

And then there's the whole HLGTA series. It's clear that this time, the player is fully himself. And that the player IS Wayne. They even reference to the gnome that they’re not Gordon:

"Tell me about the time you saved the world, Gordon!" - Gnome Chompski

"The what? I'm not Gordon Freeman. That's not what this is. This is not HLVR. This is Half-Life: Alyx." - Wayne

[Half-life: Alyx but the Gnome is TOO AWARE (ACT 1 : PART 1) (29:45)]

The thing is, Wayne doesn't dispute that HLVRAI didn't happen, just that it's the wrong game. He even alludes to playing the game as Gordon, with the words "this is worse than Half-Life VR" in Act 1 Part 2. Wayne completely detaches himself from Gordon here, with how he's "wayneradiotv the streamer" not "Freeman the Black Mesa scientist.”

Those were just my observations. Whether or not this theory has any basis is up to your interpretation and the upcoming HL2VRAI.

The Gnome and Its Implications (Optional)

The gnome interchanges the name Wayne and Gordon, as if they knew that Wayne played as Gordon in the previous series. It's also self-aware (hah pun) of HLVRAI as a Youtube series and of Holly. This implies two things:

That HLVRAI was just roleplay in-universe, instead of actual AI gone wrong.

That Wayne was able to save the HLVRAI streams and upload it to Youtube despite the AI glitches. And that Holly voice-acted for the beta version of the Half-Life VR mod.

Honestly, I think these references were more of a meta call back to the previous series. But if we want to read TOO MUCH into the plot, then I'm leaning on the latter:

Wayne decided to test a beta version of a VR mod (in which Holly voice-acted in) on stream. Said VR mod turned glitchy, which led to getting sucked into the game and his mind fusing with Gordon. Then Gordon-Wayne formed a bond with the AIs and defeated gamer frat bro cthulhu in an epic battle sequence. Went to a Chuck E. Cheese party. Robbed some banks. And never met the AIs again. He proceeded to edit his salvaged streams and upload them into his Youtube channel.

He then went on to download a mod for his gnome run in HLAVR. This time, Wayne was fully himself, and continuing as a streamer. Said gnome was weirdly an amalgamation of the Science Team's (& Benrey's) personalities. Met another talking gnome but blue that got crushed by a garbage press. Carried Chompski till the end, until said gnome used his game fleshsuit to crossover to the real world.

(NOTE: Funny how a gnome was able to accomplish something that Dr. Coomer couldn't. Also sad if Gordon-Wayne was a real thing 'cause imagine reclaiming your identity, only for a baby midget gnome to take it away.)

If HLGTA does turn out to be canon, what does that mean for "Gordon" since Wayne has been turned into a gnome? Will it be "canon" Gordon this time? Will Gordon be different now that he's been influenced by Wayne, like how Wayne was influenced by Gordon?

It would be interesting to see a different-yet-similar Gordon for HLVRAI part two. Wayne as Alyx is a crack theory that kinda makes sense after HLGTA’s ending, with how Alyx was the last character he played as. But it’s likely that Gordon-Wayne will get a come back (Not sure how he’ll get de-gnomed though). HL2VRAI’s probable main premise could be Wayne finding his way back to the real world.

(Watch me get proven wrong. After HL2VRAI comes out, I’m gonna look like a clown)

[gabessquishytum]

I know literally nobody will relate because I've never met anyone who did but... (Trans) Hob who hates receiving oral sex. He just hates it. It's awkward, somehow doesn't feel good no matter how skilled his partner is, the only saving grace is when the person finally adds fingers to the mix. He loves giving oral, so it's not about "I don't want you to do this to me so I don't have to do it to you". He just doesn't want any tongue down there.

When he and Dream finally start sleeping together, he becomes the master of distraction. If it's looking like Dream might go down on him, he quickly finds a way to distract him away from that. But one day, Dream plans to only eat Hob out until he cums multiple times. You know, since Hob had blown him amazingly so many times and he has yet to repay the favour and show off his mind-blowing skills.

Hob has two options. Either he fakes it, or they talk like two adults and he says that he doesn't like it. But these two, talking? Yeah, right. Because Dream obviously must really want this and he'd be disappointed if Hob said no, so Hob will simply grit his teeth and try to enjoy it. Meanwhile, Dream absolutely notices how nervous Hob is. He assumes Hob is self-conscious about something small like his natural scent or how wet he gets. But when Dream finally gets his mouth down there, Hob makes the fakest porn moan and Dream is like o.O da fuq?

Now, we can add even more stupid into the mix and Dream thinks Hob is faking because he doesn't believe that Dream knows how to make him feel good. But I think there has been enough stupid and the two should just talk, and Hob finally tells Dream that he doesn't enjoy this particular activity and maybe Dream could suck his tits and finger him instead?

Anon, thank you so much for sharing this!! I'm quite sure that you're not the only one who experiences this. Preferences during sex are a deeply personal thing and you should never feel weird about what you like or don't like.

Hob really really likes giving oral sex, whatever the gender of his partner. Its something he's good at, that gives him pleasure, and it's something that he's been able to rely on when he's needed to disguise his transness. No need to get undressed if he's going down on someone!

So he feels guilty! Because what if Dream really enjoys giving oral? What if Hob is holding him back from taking his pleasure? He couldn't bear to do that, surely it would be better to... suffer through it, or whatever? To make Dream happy?

These kind of fucked up thoughts obviously show on his face and Dream knows that something is up. He can see Hob overthinking and spiralling. He at least has enough maturity to call time out on the sex - he would rather die than do something to Hob while he's obviously not enjoying himself, Dream is nothing if not a respectful partner. He just wishes that Hob would communicate with him (yes, he's aware of the irony) instead of saying "I'm fine!" And suggesting that they continue.

Dream really has to dig deep, to get the truth out of his lover. Hob doesn't want to admit this weakness, this boundary. He doesn't want to have boundaries with Dream! He wants to give every part of himself...... (when he's says this, Dream points out that Hob isn't being very giving now, is he? Checkmate).

Once he has the truth, Dream is somewhat relieved but mostly he just wants to convey that he doesn't want to do things that Hob won't like! That's literally a turn off for him! He will keep saying it until Hob understands!!!

And then they cuddle a lot and have tea and Hob’s battered, people-pleasing heart gets a little bit healed.

[uselessnbee]

i keep seeing on tiktok under byler edits in the comments people saying how they will be embarassed and apologise to milkvans if byler won't be endgame and i'm aware they're mostly jokes but i still wanted to come here and say-

i won't be.

i won't be embarassed.

i won't be embarassed for wanting a gay kid in the 80's to have an actual happy ending

i won't be embarassed for wanting a queer character to be happy

i won't be embarassed for wanting Will to have his happy ending and to end up with the love of his life, to love and be loved by the boy of his dreams, to finally find happiness and love after everything he's been through like he fucking deserves

i won't be embarassed for wanting Mike to be with someone who actually makes him feel good about himself instead of insecure who loves him not the idea of him like he fucking deserves

i won't be embarassed for wanting El to be independent instead of stuck in a relationship where she isn't loved for who she actually is and is only idolized and put on pedestal for her powers, for wanting her to find she is more than just her powers and is loved for who she is as a person like she fucking deserves

i won't be embarassed for thinking byler endgame + independent El is the only satisfying ending to their arcs because it is

i'm pretty confident in this ending (the doubt will set 5 minutes before finally watching s5) but even if for some reason it will not end this way i refuse to be embarassed for wanting a better ending for all three of them

it's the duffers who should be embarassed for being such shitty writers

and no i will not apologise to milkvans for "disrespecting their ship" cause no matter what they would do with them their relationship still sucks and i won't stop shipping byler cause that's the only satisfying ending for me

and canon having a shitty ending won't change my mind (the opposite actually)

so no i won't be embarassed for being delusional even if for some weird reason byler won't be endgame and neither should you

thanks for your attention<3

[moorishflower]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @landwriter for the tag <3<3<3 Answers under the cut!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 227!

What's your total Ao3 word count? I broken two million this year! :)

What fandoms do you write for? I guess you'd say my "main" fandom is still The Sandman, because that's what really started me writing again, but I'll write for any piece of media that inspires me. I've written for The Terror, the D&D movie, Dungeon Meshi, Supernatural, Sherlock, and Homestuck at various points.

Top five fics by kudos: 1. aulon raid - In which no neonazis are allowed in the New Inn. 2. Curse of the Green Hag - The one where Xenk Yendar is cursed by a hag and he and Edgin have to fuck about it. 3. Ecdysis - Undressing and armor and bathing. 4. That I Should Wedded-Be - This was my first attempt at something longer. It's definitely not one of my better ones at this point but it was one of the first ones so it has a lot more kudos. 5. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - The one where Hob fucks Dream on his desk.

Do you respond to comments? I would really like to, but I find that I often don't have the energy, and because I want every response to be unique and thoughtful and just for that person, it means that I feel really bad if I give a simple "thanks!" and nothing else. Inevitably the bad feeling of not responding in a meaningful way outweighs the good feeling of getting the comment, so now I really only respond to comments if they address me directly or ask a question.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the long way down maybe? It has a more open "hopeful" ending. I don't usually let things end on a low note!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hallmark-Adjacent, I think. Literally ends like a Hallmark movie lol.

Do you get hate on fics? Once or twice it's happened. If it's happened since then I haven't been aware of it. I'm sure a lot of conversation goes on in like, discord channels and such that I don't follow. I'm not particularly interested in debating with people about the intentions or morality of my writing. I try to be as authentic and inclusive and respectful as the setting and story allow me to be, but I'm also human and fallible. *shrug* I grow and learn more every day. Expecting perfection from people is an exercise in frustration and futility.

Do you write smut?

yeh

Craziest crossover: Wrote a BBC Sherlock/Homestuck fusion. That was fun.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. If it was like Cocoon or Maybe sprout wings I think I'd be really upset about it because I put so much into those, but I don't know if I'd feel particularly devastated if it was anything else. BSN, maybe. I mean it would suck? That's a shitty thing to do, but also, you're not earning any real clout or money by doing it, lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A number of my fics have been translated, mostly into Russian (thanks chainsmoking and Bonniemary!), and one into Spanish (thanks Dhixi!). I'm incredibly flattered every time someone takes the time and effort to do a translation. It's an incredible art.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, though not recently.

All time favourite ship? Listen I write so much for Sandman but truthfully? Mulder/Scully. Alpha and omega ship. Don't know if anything will ever compare.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? At this point, The Whole of Love Contained is so far removed from my current writing style that I would have to restart from scratch, I think. I'm not counting it out forever, but there are other ideas I've had that I'm more interested in pursuing first.

What are your writing strengths? I really like sentence construction. The flow of it. How you can use punctuation to make it stop -- and then carry on, giving it purposeful structure. I've been told I have a talent for inserting life-altering sentences into the middle of things so that they hit you like a punch. Idk I'm bad at listing my own strengths. I like to research things a lot?

What are your writing weaknesses? Pacing, definitely, and action scenes. I always feel like my action scenes have low-stakes feel to them. And dialogue. I think a lot of people struggle to write realistic dialogue, though, so that might not just be me. Keeping the momentum going. Sometimes I'll be so focused on reaching one specific scene that I'll lose track of how to actually get there, and I'll stall out. I feel like I have a lot more weaknesses but I struggle to articulate them beyond a sense of deep dissatisfaction with my own writing, especially in comparison with other writers whom I greatly admire. I feel often like I'm churning out things that are easily-digestible and entertaining, but not necessarily meaningful, or not conveying what I would like them to do. Logically I know that "entertaining" is a value unto itself, and nothing to scoff at, but still. The writer's hubris, maybe.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Kind of depends on what you're using it for, I suppose. I tend to stick with one narrator's POV, so it can be useful if the narrator doesn't speak that language, but we, as the readers, can pop the sentence into translate and get the gist. I tend to use that sparingly as a gimmick, though, because I'm not multilingual except in the very most basic of terms and I prefer being correct to being aesthetic, lol.

First fandom you wrote in? If you want to be technical, it was Harry Potter. But the first fandom I wrote seriously for was Heroes.

Favourite fic you've written? I'm still proudest of Maybe sprout wings. Not sure if I'll ever write something like that again, where so much of it just felt right. And it got a compliment from a writer I admired very much in Homestuck fandom, so I reckon I did something right with it.

I'll tag @arialerendeair and @dsudis because I know you've both been in fandom for a while and I want to hear your stats <3

[natreads]

Ramblings about uni and the future

I'm trying to make a difficult decision. Since I've spent the last five years trying to break into the publishing industry and mostly failing (I'm freelance but can't get a full time job), I've been thinking very seriously about going back to uni to become a librarian instead. It's not really a career I've ever thought of, or wanted, but the same can be said for publishing. I decided I wanted to go that route when I already had a my bachelors degree. It felt like the "right" path, but I wasn't aware of how difficult it would be. The industry is so closed off, and I'm not very good at putting myself out there, so I've been struggling a lot. Not to mention people keep getting fired left and right so even if I do get in who knows how long that will last. I guess part of deciding to study something else, despite already having a masters degree and over six years of uni studies behind me, is that I feel like I need to essentially give up this dream, which would make the past five years feel like a waste even though I don't necessarily think they are. But I will have to give up the identity I have built around the industry. But I also feel like going another route won't mean I can't one day make it there too. But I also don't want to get another degree just to still be focusing on an industry that's this unattainable. I will have to focus on making it as a librarian instead and the idea of having to properly give up publishing makes me so sad, but I also know it will bring me relief once I actually do it. I need to study something where I will actually find work.

Another issue is that I really really REALLY don't want to study for another three years lmao. I talked to some people and there's a possibility that I COULD skip one semester due to previous studies, but I feel like it will be complicated and also not necessarily set in stone to manipulate the degree like that. I also got the tip to go take a masters instead which is two years, but here are the pros and cons to all of this:

Three year undergrad:

The school I did my BA at, so it's familiar

Since it's undergrad I'm not worried I will fail

Close to home (even if I move)

Unfortunately it's three years

It feels "silly" to get another BA when I could get an MA immediately instead

Two year masters program:

It's only two years

It will probably be hard

Could be done online, but I don't know if I have it in me to sit at home for two years again

It's in another city, but only takes an hour by train to get there

Unfortunately the train (pendeln) SUCKS and is super unreliable

And I would have to pay a bunch each time

But I like the idea of experiencing something new, since I both like the city (it's a college town) and don't think one hour is that bad

Another problem is that we'll be doing lots of group work so I might have to be there a lot which will be annoying

If I knew just HOW often I'd have to go I feel like it would be easier

I'm gonna be moving soonish to an apartment in the city here in Stockholm so I don't wanna move to Uppsala and do student housing, but my lease will only be one year so maybe I COULD during second year. I've never expeirenced student life like that before

Do I really wanna write another fucking masters thesis omg

I like the sound of two master degrees tho lmao

One semester will be dedicated to writing my thesis so I will mostly only have to commute for 1.5 years I guess, which makes the student housing in year two maybe unnessecary? But my lease will be up anyway soooo. In an ideal world I would be doing student housing my first year and then move into the other apartment after, but I can't do that and I don't wanna give up on a great opportunity

We'll be visiting libraries and whatnot and if it's in Uppsala (I kinda assume it is) I will have to figure out the public transit looool

Essentially, I think the undergrad one is safe but longer, while the MA is shorter but scarier. If I do the MA online I will be more comfortable, but also probably lowkey go crazy. Maybe if I knew if and how much I would be working at the bookstore after the summer I would pick the online version, since work would get me out of the house, but none of us know how needed I will be.

I know I need to change lanes, since I'm getting older and I need stability. Working in a library is the next best thing I can see myself doing after publishing (I kinda wanted to do marketing but I've realized it unfortunately goes against a lot of my morals and libraries are ethically the one and only place I stand 100% behind).

Idk if anyone has any insight or advice please lmk I'm so torn

[bengiyo]

My School President Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Most of the week I was actually ready to finish this show and begin anticipating its impacts. Now I just know I'm going to miss these losers.

Last week, Chinzhilla lost Hot Wave, and we spent the episode watching them grapple with yet another defeat: this time on the biggest stage yet. They decided to go back to the beach to honor their wishes, and we watched the group tear apart at the seams. Still, Yak came through with some perspective, Tiwson with some food, and Tinn with the final performance for the band at prom. Tinn's mom is aware of his relationship with Gun, but is trying to be a good mom and keep her anxieties to herself and her husband.

Oh right, we're picking up with Tinn's mom asking Tinn directly about Gun.

Not them cutting between both moms! Don't make me compare them!

Fine, let's compare. Tinn and Potjanee have this huge wall between them in their relationship that seems founded entirely on her expectations of Tinn. It's hard for well-behaved children to be open with their parents when they've thrived so long on praise for meeting those expectations. On the other hand, Gun and Gim have struggled and lost a lot together, and so much of their relationship is about Gim not letting Gun give up on his dreams. So, of course Gun can tell his mom about Tinn and it mostly be a formality and yet another excuse for them to hug and reassure each other.

I do feel for Potjanee. Seeing your son scared because you might ask about the person he cares about can't feel good, and there's no obvious way of fixing it at this point. However you've raised him has convinced him that he can't trust you with this. That's actually just so sad.

I get these two agreeing to continue as they are. The reality that some of your families won't accept you is unfortunately a norm for many viewers.

This Canon ad is cute, but anyone on the school network can access this printer???

The boyfriend era is fun.

Tiwson said you will absolutely give him his flowers.

The homophobia creeping at the edges is an unfortunate reminder of my own adolescence. I do like that the show is highlighting that it impacts queer girls too.

Irritated, jealous Gun is so demanding.

A tandem bike! My goodness.

Oh, I like them sliding in cute boyfriend kisses first. That's such a good choice, because they've actually been together for a while.

Phat, we're asking about juniors now??? I've been asking about this for like six episodes!

I really think we as a global society should stop taking pictures and videos of people on the streets and using them as content. What sucks so much about this is that Gun is finally willing to be openly affectionate with Tinn. He decides to kiss his boyfriend on their date, and now someone is going to take that joy from them. It's not like they were hooking up in the park, and yet here we are.

I love Chinzhilla with my whole heart.

Kajorn saying he quits if they're not on the same page, and Gun coming behind to say he already used the same lie Tiwson suggested...but Tinn doesn't want to lie anymore....set to a sad piano version of Let Me Tell You...oof.

Not Gun using Tinn's nose suggestion to keep from crying in the rain.

Best Boy Tinn is not gonna let this pull them apart. Interesting that we just saw Fourth and Gemini hug tightly in Moonlight Chicken. Gemini places arm in a similar way here, too.

I'm installing an EMP on every queer so that we can demolish people's phones when they record us.

Very much enjoying Sound and Win in the finale. I will miss all of Chinzhilla. I hope they appear in the Our Skyy 2 episode.

See, and this is why I never turned on Potjanee. I know some of y'all feel some kinda way about her, but here we are. These boys have not even been out for 24 hours and the shit is already piling. She asks, "Why aren't other people as kind as the characters in the series we watched?" Good question, ma'am. Our lives are not fictional, and we face the horrors daily. It's the dad saying, "We can't force other people, honey. It's down to us whether we're as kind to our son as those in the series." I see they learned Uncle Tong's lesson. Now go stand beside your son.

Not Tinn whispering the name order thing to Gun and Gun immediately asserting that his name is first!!

Having adults you trust being casually homophobic is so damaging.

Gemini has a fantastic eye roll. We saw it on episode 5 of Moonlight Chicken, too.

KAJORN!!!! COME THROUGH, BABY BOY! HIT AGAIN! HIT HIM FOR ME, TOO!!

What did I say?? Don't you ever lay hands on someone else's child! I SEE YOU, POTJANEE! YOU ARE INVITED TO BRUNCH!!

And this is how you make it right with your son. You show him he can trust you by standing in front of those who would make him feel lesser.

Okay, I like the outfits Chinzhilla picked!

They're playing You Got Ma Back. 😭 I love them so much.

Now they're doing Come Closer! I do love Ford's voice.

Oh I love Rock & Star as a song from Gun to Tinn.

I love getting Tinn back on stage again.

POTJANEE!!!!

I'm gonna need Gun to stop looking at Tinn's lips!

I'm so glad Gun got into a program he wanted. I can't take any more losses for this boy.

And here I was living in a world without Texas Chicken ads.

Oh, Sound and Win. I'm going to miss your dynamic. Look at Winny and Satang giving two solid kisses.

Poor Phat. Yo dropped him so fast.

Tinn and Gun are so cheesy. I love them.

Not me crying over Chinzhilla again!

I like the notes for their juniors and not showing any actors. It would lead to the wrong kind of speculation, and this lets GMMTV pick up this setting again any way they want.

Not @respectthepetty getting into my head about Gun's blue socks and Tinn's red shirt when he formally meets Tinn's parents.

I love Tinn's dad. He's embarrassing in only the way a loving father could be. He's also constantly rooting for Tinn.

We get 'eating' jokes and a sweet kiss in bed to close out the series. I'm good.

And they verse? We love to see it.

Wow. Just amazing. I loved this show.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended. I've been in queer media since I was a teen almost 20 years ago. I have experienced a lot of wins and losses as a viewer of BL. In so many ways this show healed any gripes I had with early productions like Lovesick, Make It Right, etc. This show is damn-near perfect. It's so heartwarming. I loved all of this. It's a show about a bunch of losers trying to help each other, and there's nothing more beautiful than that. We now have my new default recommendation for people curious about BL after coming off something sweet in the West.

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Ranking - Ep 1

Will probably never liveblog this one because I'm watching with a friend (if you read this you're the best thank you for putting up with me and my crazy lol) and so we mostly talk to each other during. :D Never done that before and I have to say it's already a blast.

So now that I am slightly more coherent and not just flailing about making high pitched sounds and flapping my hands (I believe I can fly) here's how I feel about our characters and their relationshipsI re:

Characters (Most to Least Fave atm)

Sand: As expected, I adore him. He's so tough but such a marshmallow underneath, I worry because it looks like he's signing himself up to get his heard trampled, and much as I enjoy First's tears (me and all of GMMTV I think), I just hate knowing that he's gonna be going through it, haha. Sand protector indeed. Heartbreak sucks and he's gonna feel it firsthand here. I really enjoy how irritated he is 90% of the time but I am worried that Ray of all people is gonna be his bi awakening. Please BL Jesus no. Also I hope he keeps his backbone because one thing I can't stand is a character who gets spineless the second they fall in love. Also please don't make him sing anymore I adore him but a singer he is not. He really does have the look though. Impeccable vibes.

Boston: Second fave right now, also as expected. I just love his slutty, slutty ass. Love that he mixed business with pleasure to mess around with Top again and instead he has to deal with Top setting his sights on Mew. Love that he's hooking up with everyone, no wonder Neo was like "I never have any clothes on" lol. Whether or not he cares about Top as a person, he is definitely feeling some kind of way about Top not wanting a repeat of their hookup (and Top has already told him this. Boston, babe. Either you are smitten or you are just that much of a narcissistic asshole. Could go either way really). I adore him and every ridiculous bone in his body. If they want to bring in a new dude every episode for him to go at it with I would not say nay.

Chueam: I knew she'd be high up on the list because Lookjun, but I would like April to appear please. I love how encouraging she is towards the whole TopMew thing, and girl, I feel you on the "have some fun, get laid, he's hot" thing. Lesbians next ep please

Mew: First surprise for me. I adore this guy. Adore him. He knows exactly what he's worth and he's paying attention, my guys - he clocked Top pretty fast so you can't tell me he's not fully aware of both Boston's and Ray's feelings (still loathe the idea of a RayMew endgame but mostly because the Ray of it all, lol). He's pretty and quiet and doesn't like to party like his friends so everyone assumes he's this naive dumbass (and I mean everyone - I think from Top to Ray to Boston to Chueam they all see him much the same) who doesn't know what he's about, and yet he keeps showing (not telling, this is Jojo at work and I love him for it) that he really, really isn't. Top is going down, my guys. Mew is gonna wreck this man so hard that he's not going to know which way is up and I for one am here to see it go down. If he makes out with Sand a little about it I wouldn't complain (I know, but hey. I can dream).

Nick: I admire a dude who will put a thirst pic on another dude's phone as a come on. I appreciate that he knows what he wants and he's going for it, and I anticipate he's gonna go full on crazy in a way no one expects when things start to go bad with Mr. Boston, and I am fully seated and waiting with the biggest of grins on my face.

Ray: I knew he would be awful, and I am so so happy! I can't tell you how pleased I am right now - he's awful! The way he grabbed Sand's face like he was a prize dog at a show and not a person

(exhibit A)

was pitch perfect, I hate his guts (mostly affectionate). And yeah yeah deep-seated insecurities and probably daddy issues blah blah I don't care. I'm nine thousand percent positive he's only going to get worse and I am here for it. I do like that we can already see exactly how needy he is - he's going to be so needy and I fully expect him to lash out the second he feels like he's needed in return because he's so used to taking, I want to see him and Sand really go at it once Sand gets fed up with the bottomless black hole of need he clearly is (please Sand get fed up with it), especially since it's clear that the only person he's willing to give concessions to is Mew. I desperately want Sand to wreck him but well. I also highly doubt it'll happen. We'll see. I fully expect that I will hate him for real at some point (it's on my bingo card) but if anyone can drag me around to loving him in the end it's Khaotung. Hopefully there's growth in store for him, else he'll get boring very quickly.

Top: Ah, Top. SO OTT that you know he absolutely doesn't mean it. WHen he grabbed that mic I was so terrified. I can barely handle whateverthehell First was doing I can't do Force as well. Please don't put me through it I will cry. He's just...not my favorite. Yes he's a playboy and yes he's gonna say a lot of playboy things and I honestly can't wait to see Mew destroy him.

Relationships (most to least fave)

Currently, I want to know what is up with Top and Sand so badly that it is painful. I desperately want them to be bitter exes but my real guess is that Top fucked around with someone Sand cares about and he hates him good for it, while Top has no clue who Sand even is. My first guess is a relative but could just be a close friend. Sand hates him though, and I love it. I want them to angrily make out about it.

MewTop has me in a chokehold right now, completely unexpectedly. I am not a ForceBook fan - they were cute in Enchante but I had not time for ABAAB so I expected they'd be meh to me. Not so. I'm obsessed. I can't wait to see them implode and for Mew to go full crazy.

BostonNIck: Again, I just think Nick is gonna go off in a way no one expects. It's always the sweet, quiet ones (see: Mew, even though I don't actually think he's all that sweet really).

RaySand: I like their antagonistic thing but I'm really incredibly not here for Ray being Sand's first bi experience, although I think it would make sense for Sand, who is way sweeter than his tough exterior implies (compare this with Mew, who has the sweetest of exteriors but I suspect could easily cut a bitch and not even flinch), to fall head over heels for the first guy who comes along and rocks his world (and whatever else you can say about Ray - and I'm sure I at least will - I'd bet cash money he is very very good in bed). This was honestly the one I thought would have me in a chokehold in spite of myself so I'm surprised to be less invested in it than I am the other two right now. I assume once the angst really kicks in though it'll get me even though I'd rather it not, because the one thing that will always be true about me is I love angst.

Also I was today years old when I discovered that some people think that First and Khaotung have no chemistry. This bluescreened my brain for a good five seconds, lol. Send help.

In conclusion

I really liked the ep. It gave good set up and a good foundation for all the mess that we know is to come, also I lost the betting pool on who Boston was messing around with in the trailer (I hoped Ray, guessed Papang, was blindsided by Drake). I would love to chat about this with any and everyone. because I don't want to annoy my watch buddy too much and yet I am already obsessed and fear I might. I'd apologize for the person I am about to become but well, I'm not really sorry. 😊

I am also very much looking forward to the meta that is going to come out of people much smarter (and less prone to making silly jokes) than me.

Only Friends Era let's goooo!