#mrs. jeepers

[mryoyo000]

My Very First (Bad) ASOIAF Theory!

The TRUTH (maybe) about Melisandre

I am writing this in the middle of the night so let's get started. I have discovered a fascinating literary parallel between our favorite red priestess, and a potentially surprising book series…The Adventures of the Bailey School Kids written by Debbie Dadey and Marcia Thornton Jones.

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For anyone who is unfamiliar, the Bailey School Kids series follows the misadventures of four third-graders attending the titular Bailey Elementary School. They are Howie, Liza, Melody, and Eddie. In each book (of the ones that I read and can remember, anyway), they encounter a new adult whose eccentricity and non-conformity to rigid social expectations leads the children to an obvious conclusion: the adult in question is obviously a mythological creature. The series covers the full range: a new summer camp counselor who isn’t ashamed of his natural body hair is suspected of being a werewolf, a new gymnastics teacher who enjoys creative rhyming is suspected of being a witch, a new art teacher (who is just kind of fucking weird to be fair) is suspected of being an extraterrestrial, a new Irish basketball coach is suspected of being a leprechaun (and that’s one of the less problematic culturally-specific ones). Having efficiently dehumanized their target, the Bailey School Kids use the power of research to discover ways to thwart these spooky grown-ups. To the best of my memory, the books never confirm or deny the children's allegations; there are enough clues to suggest that Bailey City is some kind of Hellmouth, or that these third-graders have active imaginations and suspicious inclinations.

​

The first book, the one that started it all: Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots. The third-grade teacher, Mrs. Deedee, has been driven to near-madness. The book starts on an ominous note.

"I can't stand it anymore!" Mrs. Deedee screamed. She held her hands up like a surgeon and looked around the room. A wild look came into her eyes. "I don't know who did this, but I want you to know that you will pay for it. Someday, you'll get yours! Somebody, somewhere, will make you pay!" She laughed a cackling kind of laugh and left the room. No one in the third grade had seen Mrs. Deedee since, but it was rumored that she had moved to a small town in the farthest corner of Alaska.

Of course, when one teacher falls, another rises, and it's less than three pages before the new teacher arrives. And who does she remind you of?

Their principal, Mr. Davis, walked into the classroom with a beautiful lady. "Good morning, students," the principal said…"I would like to introduce you to your new teacher, Mrs. Jeepers." Mrs. Jeepers smiled at the class and said in a strange accent, "It is very nice to meet you, boys and girls. I am sure we are going to have a good year together." Some of the girls in the back of the room giggled at her accent and Mr. Davis looked at them sternly.

Perhaps you can begin to see where I am going with this. But wait, there's more:

All twenty-two children looked at Mrs. Jeepers. She was kind of short and her long red hair was pulled back with a purple barrette. She wore a starched white blouse with a high collar. At the collar was a green brooch the size of a chicken egg. It seemed to glow whenever she moved. … Eddie waved his hand in the air. "What if we don't follow those rules? What'll happen then?" Mrs. Jeepers smiled and flashed her green eyes. "I hope you never have to find out."

Given that Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots was published in 1991 (I think?), and A Clash of Kings was published many decades later in 1998, it is all too clear to me that GRRM was drawing from this foxy "exotic" redhead when he developed the character of Melisandre:

"Maester," said Lady Melisandre, her deep voice flavored with the music of the Jade Sea. "You ought take more care." As ever, she wore red head to heel, a long loose gown of flowing silk as bright as fire…Around her throat was a red gold choker tighter than any maester's chain, ornamented with a single great ruby. Her hair was not the orange or strawberry color of common red-haired men, but a deep burnished copper…Even her eyes were red…

Now, the similarities aren't exact, but because I'm making this up as I go, I think it's QUITE NOTEWORTHY how we see two women, two outsiders (a Goodreads reviewer described Mrs. Jeepers as a "fabulously-attired alpha female…" which surely can be said of Melisandre as well), two powerful and confident women whose eyes match the color of their meaningful jewelry, which seems to glow with its own light. Now, I am aware that Melisandre is described as being quite tall, but there are several possible explanations for this. One possibility is that GRRM did not want his homage to Mrs. Jeepers to be overly obvious; another possibility is that Mrs. Jeepers ate many leafy greens before crossing over to a different series (and she's wearing contacts).

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Similar to Maester Cressen and Davos regarding Melisandre, the Bailey School Kids come to the conclusion that Mrs. Jeepers is dangerous and must be stopped:

Melody looked at Howie. "You know, maybe we should do something about Mrs. Jeepers. I mean, it is definitely not normal to hypnotize a student during math class." … (Eddie speaking) "But I do know that this teacher has got to go. So far she's made us clean up the room, get our work done, and be quiet in class. Before you know it, she'll have us actually learning!"

To me, this is similar to the characters in ASOIAF who view Melisandre as a threat to their way of being. Melisandre is seen as an existential threat to the main faiths of the Westerosi, and Mrs. Jeepers is seen as an existential threat to Eddie: Chaos vs. Order. Her outsider status, her unique flair in the face of conformity, are used as further damning evidence by the reprehensible elementary school students—not only does she threaten their power and status, but she does so as an Other, a force that must be denied her own humanity.

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I ran out of things to say. Thanks for reading if you did.

TL;DR Melisandre of Asshai is an obvious homage (maybe) to Mrs. Jeepers of Bailey School Kids fame, an opponent to the despicable ignorance and hostility of her (third-grade) enemies in the same way that Melisandre defies the superstitious rejection she faces.

[aurorasilverthorne]

Bailey School Kids Headcanons and Theories:

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1: Madame Hauntly was the wife of the farmer Edwardo in the story that she tells Ben, Jane and Annie in "Vampire Trouble". This also means she is the mother of his six children and that Vlad, who tried to steal the farmer's land and wife, was probably Vlad the Impaler.

2. Mrs. Jeepers fell in love with a human, but he died, and she keeps all his favorite books in that box in the basement of the old Clancy Estate to have something that reminds her of him. I believe her husband knew that she was a vampiress and that's why he gave her the bat bracelet as a way to reassure her that her secret was safe with him. I think that is what Mrs. Jeepers meant in "Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots" when she told Eddie and the others that she feels like her husband is still with her at times despite his death.

3. Madame Hauntly and her children are capable of walking around in daylight because a) she's a very old vampiress which means she's super powerful and b) her children are half human, so the sun doesn't have as much of an effect on them, though Mrs. Jeepers still uses her brooch to increase her own power and it also serves as added protection from the sun.

4. Mr. Drake is Mrs. Jeepers' and Boris' brother and the dad of Kilmer's cousin in "Vampire Baby".

5. Grandpa Vamps is Mrs. Jeepers' uncle or grandfather in the story "Mrs. Jeepers' Creepy Christmas". She called him in to get Eddie interested in reading as the boy was being stubborn and kept refusing to cooperate with her.

6. Most of the adults the children think are monsters are normal humans trying to live their lives. However, Mrs. Jeepers and her Hauntly relatives are in fact vampires and monsters, but don't pose a threat to the people of Bailey City as they are kind and caring towards their neighbors and have not harmed anyone since their arrival as far as we know. The other legit monsters include leprechauns as it was implied in "Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball" that Mrs. Jeepers' was in fact the vampiress teacher who stole the brooch from the leprechaun king.

7. Mrs. Jeepers can't have children of her own maybe because of a health issue, but she loves children, so she became a school teacher to be around them, and to nurture and satisfy her own maternal instinct. She wants all of her students to succeed and to be safe which is why she's so strict with them and won't give Eddie attention when he acts up in class or during field trips. She refuses to reward his negative behavior which is why she reprimands him with extra work or chores when he misbehaves.

8. Eddie knows Mrs. Jeepers is a vampire because she showed her fangs when she dragged him into the hall to talk about his bad behavior in the first book "Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots". That's why he won't tell his friends what happened. She likely warned him to be quiet and to quit misbehaving, but he realized in time that she wouldn't actually hurt him, so he kept acting up despite the fact that she was an actual vampire and he still feared her to some extent. Eddie knew she wouldn't harm anyone so he pushed his luck and she had to keep him in line until he moved up into fourth grade.

9. Mrs. Jeepers and her family continued to protect and watch over all her students well into their adult years. She and the Hauntlys stayed in Bailey City a) until residents began to notice they weren't aging and they had to move to another place to start again or b) her ex-students realized what they were, but chose to keep their secret so they could remain in Bailey City teaching and befriending the future generations of their families.

[mvshortcut]

I’m sorry the temptation was too great to resist:

Show Curtain, Book Curtain, Crawlings, Jeepers, Marlon, McCracken

Good luck. 🫡

Hello, Anon. What delightful choices you've sent me. I will answer them all with great enthusiasm and minimal emotional distress.

Push off a cliff: McCracken. not because he deserves it the most - if anything, he deserves to be set on fire. But because I think it's delicious irony that his nemesis is always the one taking the cliff dive. It's Your Turn Now, Buddy :)

Kiss: this was one of my last remaining choices. It physically pains me to say this. Show Curtain. I can't deal with him for any length of time and at least I know he uses some $300 mouthwash

Marry: fuck it. Jeepers. I feel like he'd earnestly try to be a good partner. He'd bring roses home but trip and fall face-first in the mud while bringing them back so you can't even see the red petals under all the muck. it's the thought that counts

Set on Fire: Book Curtain. Ledroptha Curtain gets to Hurtin'.

Wrap a Blanket around: Marlon. I know I bully him but he really doesn't deserve to deal with Curtain. no one does. Jeepers should get a blanket too, but this is the way this one worked out.

Be Roommates with: Crawlings. I could convince him to burn his other eyebrow off by giving him a hair straightener and telling him it was designed to stimulate eyebrow growth. yea turn it all the way up and run it across your remaining eyebrow it's gonna look great. try your scalp next

[the-pirate-captain]

I finished rereading the hunger games the other day, and l was really struck by the fact that Peeta's dad told his son (his *five year old son*) "oh yeah l wanted to marry Katniss's mom. Alas!" We get plenty of evidence from the series that Peeta's home life was rough, but talk about an unhappy marriage. It also struck me as an interesting similarity to Mr. Blythe and Marilla Cuthbert from the Anne of Green Gables series. Where they *could* have married but didn't and Marilla kind of lives with that regret, but then because they *didn't* marry, Gilbert exists and the Cuthberts adopt Anne. And Anne and Gilbert have such a beautiful life together. And it's the same with Peeta and Katniss - because their parents didn't end up with each other they exist and get married to each other. It's just a weird, bittersweet detail to include in a story, l dunno.

[lilvivix]

New Year's Art ☃️

[bi-demon-ium]

every time they talk i can just picture both of them are doing the [camera zooms in on them very closely] thing except for very different reasons.

[arwen17]

The American Vampirization of the Female Immigrant Teacher in Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots by Sharon Pajka found in Growing Up with Vampires: Essays on the Undead in Children’s Media

I was able to read most of the essay on google books here, but also you can just buy a digital copy to get all of the essays on various vampire literature.

Really fun read. I'm glad someone is writing about Mrs. Jeepers!

[kneeslapworthy]

MBS characters ranked from most to least likely to say Fuck 

Kate 

Constance

Dr Garrison (my unhinged queen)

Rhonda

Curtain

Number Two

SQ

Jeepers

Mr Benedict

Milligan

Reynie

Sticky

Ms Perumal

[mbspolls]

mr benedict and constance are having a picnic off to the side (constance refused to run) and milligan is sitting with them because he would probably win and also i wanted jackson and jillson to be in the running (literally)

[ennaih]

Every Film I Watch In 2023:

173. Jeepers Creepers (2001)

[urtrickster]

i had a dream that i was 14 years old again and i got kidnapped by mr jeeper creeper from jeepers creepers and im like 85% sure he intended on killing me when he first kidnapped me but then he somehow became my father figure and i basically became his kid

[thychesters]

i think i’m like halfway through the alabasta arc and sanji is chronically uninvolved, lmao. once again his crew has been captured and this man is on the other side of the city like that cat meme going “i wonder what they’re doing over there”*. crew captured? sucks to suck, i guess. he’s gonna go off and do his own thing. see you after the fact.

*pretty sure he’ll have a role to play in this next episode, but right now he and chopper are running around and as for the others… it’s their fault they fell into a trap!

[aurorasilverthorne]

Mrs. Jeepers IS a vampire.

One author of the Bailey School Kids books confirmed it via Twitter. Even if the editor insisted they remove the big reveal from the first book, Debbie Dadey and Marcia T. Jones always intended for Mrs. Jeepers to be a vampire (a friendly one who genuinely cares for all of her students and isn't a real threat to them, I'm sure), therefore it's still canon as far as I'm concerned.

So the answer's yes for all those readers who've wondered for many years whether this beloved fictional lady was a vampire.

[mvshortcut]

This doesn't have to be someone you necessarily like/approve of their actions! Could be someone you love to hate the most!

Also sorry for lumping Jackson & Jillson and Martina in here with the villains. I know they play an antagonistic role in the books but they're the most wonderful teenagers ever to me <33

[rqlaji2]

Grabs myself by the shoulders. The reason you are here is the autism

[bewarethemoonlads]

what is with this trend of horror movies where justin long plays an asshole and then gets trapped and fucked up in some random house