#mtg shitpost

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

didn't we leave off in Innistrad with Sorin still missing his grandfather bc Olivia charm-married him or something. I'm just saying the fact Sorin was offhandedly mentioned in Brother's War was funny bc how did that conversation go?

Sorin: what do you want

Jace: phyrexians are back. we could really use your-

Sorin: Phyrexians are wh-?! damn it all I can't. busy

Jace: .....busy. busy how

Sorin: bitch stole my grandfather

Jace: (remembering what the rest ofthe gatewatch told him about that) oh. that

Sorin: YES THAT. Now I'll prepare Innistrad in case of a potential influx of Phyrexians... gods damn it all can NOTHING go right in recent years?!

Jace:

Jace: so do you know where nahiri is or-

[its-just-arti]

Attention: The Magnetic Snuffler. The Snuffler is here, it is going to Snuffle, and it's going to Snuffle Magnetically. Be prepared for Magnetic Snuffling. You will be Snuffled, and Magnetism will be involved. Magnetic Snuffler.

[occasionallydiverting]

“touch grass” is inelegant. it lacks finesse. this is how we really get the point across

[jarfieid]

These are the same picture

[mouth-less]

so commander went well today

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I love MTG partially because it’s a setting that explicitly has "Gods" that are like ten headed hydras and 20 story titans and then also contains things above the gods and those things are like "emo nerd boy with a really good teleport" and "furry bear bait"

[drowsy-siren]

Grixis night with the girlies, cuz we love to RUB

@cyberpunkcatgirl, @goqmir, @devilcat3d

[dyke-pollinator]

What colors do bottoms even play with? Selesnya? You gonna shock in that Tenple Garden. Stfu and kiss me already

[worlds-smallest-epsilon]

[implausiblyjosh]

Magic the Gathering gameplay series title idea: I Showed You My Deck, Please Respond

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Sorin, after a compleat Nahiri + Phyrexians start pouring into Innistrad while he's still grappling with all of vampirekind hating him, his angel daughter being dead, his other daughter having tried to kill him and wipe out his entire plane, and his grandfather (the one person left alive who still likes him at all) being charmed into hating him and marrying a woman he'd otherwise probably hate:

Arlinn: Shouldn't we do something? Sorin: Well I have 1 plan. Arlinn: ...We're not letting Emrakul out of the- Sorin: What's the worst that happens? it destroys Innistrad??? (gestures at invasion ships, phyrexians, and compleated nahiri) Arlinn: Arlinn: Your job fucking sucks, man Sorin: Yeah. I know. 7000 years of absolute misery

[orbygotthegoo]

[its-just-arti]

[firstdoctorcompanion]

(art is from magic the gathering)

[jarfieid]

WOTC WHY ARE THESE JAPAN EXCLUSIVE WHAT THE FUCK MAN LET ME HAVE THEM. LET ME HAVE THEM I'M THROWING ROCKS AT YOU WITH MY MIND

[muggu]

Trans girls playing commander like "Yeah my dick is a 7"