#much less so with anons

[mirpkechi]

this is me btw . . . me when online frienfds . . . me when close mutuals . . . me talking to the silly people in my phone . . .

[scribblechicken]

Sacrifice to the Sorting Algorithm

Reupload from 2021.

[enluv]

— just a thought.

the excessive amount of hate writers have been getting lately is actually terrible?? it blows my mind that people can be so bold and mean on anon but if that anon button was not available they’d NEVER think to send that hate. it’s actually crazy to think that people believe writers owe them anything, yes we’re thankful that you support and read our stories but we are also human, we have feelings and lives too!! please remember that and remember to be kind to your favorite writers (all writers at that) because they work hard to provide you with amazing stories and writings everyday!!

[sqwdkllr]

anon from the Cucu and Watcher ask, I'll use 🐑as an identifier:

THANK YOU SM IM EATING IT UP SO MUCH

And nooo pls don't worry about people not liking to see it. They can block the tags if they don't like it. Feel free to do as you will :)

I personally would be very excited to see more of the definitely only enemies in future, but you do you!

- 🐑

They can do morally inhumane human experimentation together ❤️ trust

I want you to know I listened to “masochism tango” while drawing that req. felt fitting ! Anyways have more just because

[retquits]

Don’t risk permanent lung damage. Go to the ER. This is the only body you have - we use lungs at all times, and if they get messed up you’ll feel it for the rest of your days. Sincerely, someone with a lot of family members that have lung issues years after they tried to tough out problems.

cw health talk /

i did end up going to the ER last night! ran a couple tests, but unfortunately the doctor couldn't find anything apparently wrong (i was getting enough oxygen in my blood, throat/lungs didn't sound abnormal, x-rays and swabs came back normal, etc.)

so he ended up giving me a little anxiety medication just in cases it was some sort of stress response! i do feel a little better today overall, and at least the medication makes me eepy (￣o￣) . z Z

[iizuumi]

I have been desperately looking for Narureno art and I have FINALLY found it with you and it's so GOOD Imma just -plops down lawn chair to sit in and hang out here for a while-

NO WAY!! i didn't even think there was anyone else out here shipping them besides my friend and me!!!

This is so reassuring i'm glad i'm not being delusional all by myself! yes hello come sit! here would you like a little narureno snack while you're here

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

So anyway you repeatedly say we only feel corn husks and similar inedible parts to cattle but Never add a source to back it up. Having worked on farms I’m afraid for the most part the feeds I’ve seen have been parts entirely edible to humans. And like fuck man 5% of all grown soy is fed to humans or however the stat goes, do you really think the remaining 95% is inedible? really?

Anyway yeah I’m asking for a source here cause I don’t want to add this on to months old post

Ingredients such as “grain by-products” are referring to the husks, stalks, and other “green” parts of the plant that we humans don’t actually have the digestive capabilities to eat. The breakdown of most livestock feeds looks like the above when you actually take a look at it.

Different cattle feed, similar ingredients. Still primarily things that, and I have to stress this, you cannot eat. This one is slightly higher in quality and does indeed have actual grain products included. Some of those are edible to humans. Some are not. Generally cattle are fed cattle cubes with supplemental mineral licks and hay. Some also supplement with whole corn, but I can gladly assure you that corn is not in short supply and even if all the corn sold to animal feed was donated to the poor, you can’t actually live off of corn because there’s very little nutrition in it. Hence why in both human and animal food it’s typically seen as a filler ingredient. Keeps the mouth busy with a meal without making your stomach feel full and you end up eating more without feeling satisfied.

Soybeans are really only often used in feed for pigs because they’re a great source of protein for these animals. I would state that soy is also a terrible option to use as an emergency food for humans in need because while, yes, it is indeed a healthy bean, it’s also one of the top eight foods that humans are frequently allergic or intolerant towards. I’d also ask you for whether your 5% of all grown soy statistic is referring to the beans or the entire plant because yeah the beans are the edible part. The rest of the plant isn't especially healthy for humans to eat. I would say the beans are around 5% of a mature soy plant sure.

[hamletthedane]

Don't have to answer if you don't want, but why is going to law school a bad idea?

Law school is really fun! Being a lawyer is not.

CW Network Parody Song sums up the points pretty well, but here’s the longer version:

It’s a very stressful and very unpleasant job, no matter what area of law you go into

Seriously, being a lawyer means your entire job is to get yelled at for 9-12 hours every day, and having to be brave enough to stand your ground and yell right back. Yes, even if you do [x area of law] - and yes, even if you never see the inside of a courtroom. It’s a very mean and very aggressive profession.

You’ll be so deep in student debt, the only people who attend your funeral will be your creditors.

Law actually pays really poorly in comparison to the amount of work you do + your student loans. Almost every other profession requiring a degree pays MUCH better per hour than law.

The job market notoriously really sucks. It’s very hard to get a good job as a lawyer, even if you go to a great law school. It’s a crazy hustle culture with new grads searching for months and often fighting for scraps.

Due to ~21st century efficiency~ you’re expected to have a work-product and billed hour output that is basically impossible to achieve. You’ll agonize over every hour you don’t spend working, and then agonize some more about your billables. I, along with several peers, have been admitted to the hospital before due to extreme stress and exhaustion making us dangerously ill.

At least a fourth of the people I know who did everything right - went to a fancy high-ranked school, passed the bar, and got an excellent job right out of school - stopped practicing within the first three years because they were so miserable. In other law schools, it’s probably at least a third of the school.

Unsurprisingly, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession per capita - by a very wide margin. And let’s not talk about the alcoholism issue (something like 85% of attorneys)

To enjoy and be successful in the legal profession, you have to be someone who really, REALLY, *REALLY* needs to win at everything. Even in transactional law - you’re always trying to beat someone and “win” at the deal. And so you’ll inevitably become a bit of a dick, even if you don’t want to be. It’s not like morally abhorrent or anything, but you have to accept that you’ll eventually become a little insufferable to be around.

…and I say all of that as somebody who genuinely loves my job and loves being a lawyer. And who practices in a relatively lowkey, low-stress field of law, working for some of my favorite people on the planet.

Now, if you read all of that and said “fuck you! That’s all totally worth the feeling of winning a case/achieving an outcome and sticking it to the man!” then congrats - you’re the rare person who probably should go to law school.

Otherwise: you have only one life. Please spend it doing literally any other profession.

[goldensunset]

every day in the post-khdr context woody's epic yx takedown line gets more and more tragically emo lbr

see that scene is like The Scene Of All Ever because your feelings towards it change so drastically with each layer of context like

layer one (a non-fan just seeing the scene): i’m sorry sheriff woody from toy story is saying all this?? roasting an anime villain? and it’s played completely straight? 🤣 kh is completely insane

layer two (casual kh fan; has seen the rest of the context for the toy box world up until that point) YOU GET HIMMMMMM!!!! MESS HIM UP WOODY!!!! FRIENDSHIP!!!! epic haha

layer three (invested fan; knows baseline lore about xehanort): SHEESH. lol. that surely can’t be true… ouch. great scene though

layer four (completely insane fan; knows The Deep Lore about xehanort from khux and khdr): i am going to go lie down in traffic.

[beigetiger]

I would adore a post about how Skulduggery treated Valkyrie in phase 1, your stuff is so fun to read

HEHEHEHEH IVE BEEN ENABLED

There is so much stuff to unpack in phase 1 it’s kind of ridiculous, but I’m going to talk about literally whatever comes to mind because this would be SO fun to talk about.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of their super early dynamic is that Skulduggery really neglects Valkyrie’s physical needs as a living human. In book 2, Valkyrie mentions how she hardly ever gets the opportunity to eat or sleep because she spends so much time doing things, but brushes it off as just another sacrifice it takes to be with him. This was one of the first things I noticed while also reading this book. Skulduggery doesn’t need to eat or sleep, and Valkyrie doesn’t want him to leave her behind and so just…doesn’t tell him that she actually needs something, and he’s too caught up doing his own thing and viewing her as a fully responsible adult to note that she’s not getting the basic necessities for a teenager. He does eventually get better in this way of course, doing things like adjusting parts of his house so Valkyrie can eat and sleep without the back and forth of going home.

There is also, of course, the repeated endangerment. Phase 1 Valkyrie never holds it against him of course (even phase 2 Val barely mentions it), but he definitely has no problem bringing her into situations where she’s likely to be killed, including situations that are kind of unnecessary (like him telling her to drive a truck when she’s thirteen on account of the fact that it would be funny). I think a big moment of reflection for him was in The Faceless Ones where Valkyrie’s tooth gets broken and it’s a really traumatic experience for her, but she holds a brave face for Skulduggery and only breaks down crying when Kenspeckle expresses worry over her. The book kind of brushed over his reaction to it, but I really think he realized in that moment that he was actually hurting Valkyrie with the standards he was enforcing on her. This point is honestly pretty straightforward, but it’s also pretty relevant to their phase 1 dynamic and so I wanted to mention it. Pretty much all the trauma Valkyrie has can be arguably traced back to Skulduggery.

Because while Skulduggery definitely loves her and has his protective moments over her, he really does have an insistence on treating her as an adult, even at the points when she was barely a teenager. It gives Valkyrie a life where she has no safety bars on anything she does and is free to make her own mistakes and possibly get herself killed. And while he is willing to step in and help if she requests it, Valkyrie is also ridiculously independent (a trait that Skulduggery also encouraged) and clearly tried to avoid going to him with personal problems as best she could. While there are definitely issues to this approach to raising Valkyrie, I think Skulduggery was hoping to avoid becoming overly controlling of her and instead overcompensated by giving her full control of her own life, for better or for worse. Alternatively, it could be that Valkyrie’s extended freedom originally came from a branch of Skulduggery’s neglect of her, and later on in phase 1 just became a thing of habit.

Now, Valkyrie is a pretty independent person in phase 1. BUT. Since she has so much control over her own life, she refuses to socialize with other kids her age, which does lead to an emotional dependency on Skulduggery that is really apparent in the earlier half of phase 1. He’s effectively the god of her world, and even if she isn’t forced to do what he wants, she will do it with no hesitation or regard for her own well-being. Even when she’s an older teenager (16-18 range), it’s still pretty apparent that Skulduggery and whatever he wants or says is the first priority in her life, with everything else coming second. I also think this is a big reason as to why she dated Fletcher for a bit, because he was literally the only person she was hanging out with at the time who wasn’t literally hundred of years older than her.

Another thing I wanna point out that I always found really amusing is how physically comfortable they are with each other. Like, they’re detective partners who get into fights together, of course they’re gonna be pretty comfortable with each other, but it’s just so fucking funny. There is an entire scene in Death Bringer where Valkyrie is going about her morning routine (taking a shower, getting dressed, etc) and the whole time Skulduggery is following her around and chatting with her, and neither of them are weird about it or mention it at all. This is literally just normal for them (and also they’re conversation is kind of unhinged, I need to reread DB because there was SO much weird stuff in there). Valkyrie literally sleeps at his house on the regular, sometimes even more so than her own house. When Valkyrie finds out that the man is casually standing in her backyard, her reaction is to let him into her room through the window, which is so weird that even SOLOMON FUCKING WREATH commented on it. And while I do love having characters not being weird about other characters having bodies, having that dynamic between a teenager and an adult that her parents don’t know she hangs out with is absolutely wild.

And speaking of absolutely wild, having a “I’d fight loyally by your side until the end” scene with a fifteen-year-old is crazy, but so in-character for this series. I’m not complaining about it though, because the continual use of that phrase throughout this series sucker-punched my emotions every time and that’s exactly what I’m going for.

Something I also really liked throughout the series is them learning to place more trust in each other. In book 2, Valkyrie actually has a moment where she’s worried he’s going to kill her. In book 4, she’s worried his emotional breakdown will push him to physically harm her. In the first part of book 5, she’s subconsciously worried that he’ll kill her for being Darquesse. In the last part of book 5, she puts up no resistance and instead lies in his arms when he puts a gun to her head and threatens to shoot her. In book six, Skulduggery is brave enough to actually have a discussion with her about being Lord Vile. There are so many more examples of this, but I really adored their slowly growing relationship and how it was depicted throughout phase 1.

Don’t get me wrong though, the whole fiasco with Lord Vile in Death Bringer was really toxic. Specifically the fact that Skulduggery sort of emotionally blackmailed Valkyrie into forgiving him for being Lord Vile? I know that he didn’t mean for her to find out, but taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable teenager who’s going through an especially rough part of her life right now is not a great thing to do.

I do understand why he did it though, because Skulduggery is really not normal whenever Valkyrie leaves, and he might have gone through another bout of mental instability if she actually left him because of Lord Vile. I think this part of him is best seen in the second half of LSoDM and the first half of DotL. He’s angry, lashes out, emotionally cold, and he threatens tries to shoot an eighteen-year-old for the crime of being Valkyrie’s reflection. He’s also so aggressive when they have to revive Valkyrie with the Sunstone, because he’s scared that he messed up and that he’s now going to lose her forever, which causes him to act really scary towards everyone around him. It’s definitely not a side of him that he likes and that’s why he’s so determined to stay with Valkyrie no matter what. Not phase 1 related, but I will always find Skulduggery’s explanation for what he was doing while Valkyrie was in Colorado hilarious because what do you mean you decided that a lapse in morals would be fine until Valkyrie gets back.

Skulduggery also seems to have a really hard time admitting with words that he loves someone (and given his history, I really do not blame him) but Valkyrie casually saying that she loves him in KotW and teasing him about it while Skulduggery will express that he loves her in literally any way other than actually saying the goddamn words (it takes him seven fucking years to actually say “I love you” yahoo) and it made for some really sweet but also heart-wrenching moments in the last three books of phase 1. Because Valkyrie doesn’t really need him to say that he loves her, because she knows it already. But still having him refuse to say it does kind of sting, and it’s fun to watch the two of them dance around their emotions like funny little acrobats.

What makes Skulduggery and Valkyrie’s dynamic in phase 1 so wild to me is the way that it kind of casually glazes over the raging abuse going on, but I actually really like that because it highlights just how much this series is written from Valkyrie’s perspective. She loves him so damn much, and you really can’t blame her for it. He gave her a life where she could express herself and do what she wanted and be with people that made her happy instead of being stuck in a school she hated, with people she hated, in a life she hated. She was traumatized and scarred by him but he gave her the opportunity to actually live, and no way in hell was she ever going to risk giving that life up and going to back to what she had before. Toxic as their phase 1 relationship was, he represented her freedom and autonomy and Valkyrie viewed any hardships she went through as a simple sacrifice necessary to keep what she had. It’s not healthy, but you kind of get it.

I love their phase 1 relationship so much, but there is so much to unpack between them and I definitely missed a lot, so everyone else feel free to add on your rambling.

[ughgoaway]

You're super good at smut, but what do you think Matty would be like if his gf one time would like something more vanilla? Sorry If I'm ruining the mood I'm just super sad tonight and I'm thinking more gentle, still super good though, sex.

oh thank you <333

and you are so not ruining the mood, I LOVE soft romantic sex just as much as the other stuff. I'm sorry you're feeling sad lovely, I really hope you start feeling better soon <333

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

I can see you having a really hard few weeks, and you've not been up to anything remotely sexual. matty is, of course, completely fine with it, and has been so kind and patient with you.

you just need to be taken care of. You need to hear how much he loves you. how much you mean to him. and matty is more than happy to oblige.

maybe you start making out slowly on the sofa, just soft, warm kisses that grow needier and needier. the kisses are making you dizzy, and you can feel the love pouring from matty in each one. they're perfectly wet and sticky in a way that drives you insane, and mattys warm tongue pressing against yours is making you increasingly needy.

you pull back and look at matty with a soft pout. You simply say, "Please?" and he nods immediately.

he grabs your hips and lies you down on the sofa, treating you like you're made of glass. cradling your head and stroking your hair as you lay down.

he looks down at you with a love-struck look. Your hair was fanned out around in a way that made you look heaven sent. the soft flush that covered your cheeks and chest drew matty in, he leant down and began to press kisses wherever he could reach.

his velvety, hot lips make their way across your chest, mouthing slowly at your collarbones and neck. he doesn't leave any marks, just sweetly worshipping your body, making you understand how deeply he loves you.

"You look so beautiful, my darling. always do," he says, pulling back with a smile, brushing your cheekbone gently with his fingers.

his eyes were black with desire, but you could still see the adoration swimming within them. You smile shyly and try to hide your face in your hands, but matty grabs your wrists to stop you.

"Don't hide your pretty face, baby, let me love you," he says softly, pressing a peck to your palm and placing your hands on his shoulders before leaning in to kiss you.

and it stays slow and sensual. He pulls down your panties and his boxers. before slipping in with a satisfied groan. holding himself there for a few seconds, feeling the unspoken connection that you two share.

your warm skin slips together, fusing as one. he's deep within you, and you've never felt more intertwined.

He swaps between burrowing his head in your neck and leaning back to watch your face in awe. he takes note of your flickering eyelids, and of the way your jaw drops and the sweetest moans leave your lips.

"m' so lucky to have you, sweet girl. my angel."

he would be focused on you, your pleasure, and making sure you're comfy. he's checking in regularly, ensuring you're happy to continue.

after a whimper from you, he pulls back with worried eyes, "You okay? do you want to stop, baby? we can just cuddle if you'd prefer, " he says, stilling within you, awaiting your response.

you smile and shake your head at him, "No, no. feels so good. Please keep going. " You whisper to him, pulling him deeper and kissing him firmly.

the whole time, it's unhurried. His pace is even and gentle, staying deep within you.

he whispers reassurance to you the whole time because he can't quite believe he gets to do this with you. his heart feels full, his mind only ever thinks of you. he's completely and utterly enamoured and entranced.

his thrusts are languid and tender, intent on making you cum first. listening to your breathing and moans to know when you're close.

"s'okay baby, you can cum whenever you need to. please, cum for me princess" he whispers against your lips before surging forward to kiss you.

the coil in your stomach continues to tighten, winding tighter and tighter with each rhythmic roll of his hips. you can feel the flush on your face and your skin heating up. throbbing around matty desperately, savouring the growing heat beneath your skin.

with a shudder dissolved into pleasure, arching your back and groaning at the feeling of your pebbled nipples brushing against his hard chest. your walls spasm around him, and matty can't help the grunt that leaves him as they do, warm and wet as you pulse around him.

Matty keeps moving slowly inside you, chasing his own orgasm, "where do you want me, angel?" he asks breathlessly. You don't respond verbally but instead link your feet together behind his back, causing him to burrow even deeper inside you.

he cums with a groan, whimpering and whispering in your ear as he does, "oh s-shit. I love you so fucking much, oh my god. you're perfect, so perfect for me"

he buries his head in your neck and you can feel him smile against you, you can't help the grin that spread across your lips at the feeling of his hot cum within you and your warm sweaty skin binding together.

as soon as your hands slide over his shoulders, he flops on top of you. You giggle at his lack of finesse and run your hands over his back, kissing his temple softly.

"Thank you, I love you," you pant, turning your head to look at him adoringly.

"I love you too," he says softly, meeting your eyes and giving you a sweet peck.

maybe he eats you out afterwards, grunting and groaning at the musky taste of you mixing on his tongue. or perhaps you just lay there, basking in the glow of each other.

[aleksanderscult]

How do you think the story would've turned if Genya was the sun summoner instead of Alina? Do you think she would've had a romantic or sexual relationship with the Darkling?

I would love for Genya to be the Sun Summoner, anon! It's such a cool, interesting AU.

Genya was a very clever, a very brave person and politically aware of what was happening that saw the big picture. Aleksander would be ecstatic with her. And, yes, anon they would have a sexual relationship. Genya had confessed to Alina that she would get that dick if only she wasn't just an ordinary Grisha. If she were the Sun Summoner she would have no qualms to get on with it. I believe Aleksander would feel the same but for a different reason: sleeping with her would make her feel more bonded with him.

For a romantic relationship I'm not that sure. Love is complicated and I don't think these two would reach that level.

(by the way, I'm talking about S&B!Genya)

[tosahobi-if]

sorry for all the late replies! i decided to make one big post to try and squeeze everyone in adjfdfjd

the implication that /i'm/ white too is hilarious. it would've been helpful when i was applying for internships (＃￣ω￣)

we'll call it the racism pack

actually! anon found my secret drafts where jinwol has a secret wasian sister currently living with the germanic tribes in anglo-saxon england. they're just prophetic^^

unfortunately trolling makes you legally blind. keep that in mind everyone (」°ロ°)」

we found the alternate universe: toe son hobbit

names so white they're engraved next to harald hardrada!

the CAUCASITY!

my only canon fact about the mc ethnicity-wise is that they're NOT white adjfdjfd

the words "korean" and "taoism" are so hard to mistake for "european" and "christianity" aren't they (--_--)

[ahollowgrave]

11. Blood at the corner of your mouth.

It is not your blood at the edge of your mouth. Not your blood that your tongue swipes from the corner of your lips.  Not your blood whose coppery tastes lingers between your teeth. 

But he fucking deserved it.

Sister Kindness has you tucked under her arm as she, to use her words, books it. Something she must not do often because she huffs and puffs her way through the crowded Shaded Bower. And though some call out ‘Sister’ to her with warm recognition she does not stop ‘booking’ it. (Sister Kindness would have you know that she is perfectly in shape for a woman of her age. She was ‘huffing and puffing’ from the extra weight of carrying you, thank you very much.)

She slows when the westshore pier appears around the corner and then she steps off the main path and sets you down. Kneeling to be something more like eye-level, she pulls a Roegadyn-sized handkerchief from the depths of her habit. Wetting a corner with a flask pulled from a separate, equally confusing pocket she begins to clean the blood from your face.

Sister Kindness’ hand is firm where it grips your chin, holding as little of you as possible. For once the contact does not send you recoiling. Perhaps it is the way your rage has left you as quickly as it had flooded you, leaving you feeling drained of everything else as well. Now that the moment has passed you tremble and, to your horror, you can feel a well of tears rising to fill that empty space.

“Was a helluva bite, darling girl,” Sister Kindness’s voice is quiet as she tilts your head to the light, searching for any blood she may have missed. You focus on her creek colored eyes and swear you feel their waters lapping at your ankles. Her smile is sudden but woozy around the edges; she is just as shaken. "Reckon he'll have a scar, too. Bet he lies about who gave it to him." ‘He’ was an elezen man -- maybe a merchant but likely not, as Sister Kindness did not know him -- with a face as sharp as his ears and a smile that spoke of too much confidence. And you had hated him on sight. His crime was making Sister Kindness uncomfortable and his mistake was not being aware of his surroundings. 

It does not take much pressure to break skin. 

Pleased with her work, Sister Kindness rises and disappears the handkerchief away. Handing you the flask, she instructs you to take a sip, swirl it around your mouth, and spit it out. There is some confusion about what 'swirl' means but, eventually, she is satisfied with this too. “Well, we didn’t get what I came for but we’ll be headed home all the same. Come now, before the ferry leaves without us. We will, ah, not be telling the abbess about this.” You don’t know if she means the bite or the trip to the city. 

You don’t ask.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ][ Sensory Prompts ][

[batsplat]

I saw the post about assen 2016 and Marc cutting the chicane and was wondering if Marc did that a lot to his competitors like the imitation of mind games. Cause I’ve always thought of Vale as the one who used the mind games more. Did Marc use mind games a lot and was just more subtle?

(assen '16)

if you're interested in reading more about marc marquez mind games, then boy do I have a post for you

anyway, I can't really think of anything that's all that similar to assen 2016 because that's such a specific situation... not every day that you have something as memorable and as easy to visibly imitate and as controversial as cutting the final chicane. of course, if we're talking about imitation, it's pretty hard to avoid mentioning how marc did infamously copy two out of valentino's three most well known career overtakes within half a year of joining the premier class, and was also pretty shameless about the whole thing. but at least there you can say it's all about the race situation marc happened to find himself in - and there will only have been so much premeditation possible with both incidents

more broadly speaking, then, targeted behaviour where he's trying to send a message to one of his competitors during non-race sessions... well, that's fairly common. he loves using non-race sessions to study and stalk and at times deliberately harass his competitors. I'll give a little more details on one specific incident here to demonstrate what I'm talking about. it's related to towing, as it so often is with marc, and I ended up only briefly mentioning it in the post linked above. for context, marc spent a fair bit of time in 2019 trying to mess with the rookie revelation fabio quartararo, sometimes during the races themselves and sometimes outside of them. nothing wrong with hazing your young challengers, right? so one of the more widely discussed incidents took place in sepang 2019 qualifying (tw crash):

big fan of how the article very strongly implies that when marc says the words "honestly speaking", he was not, in fact, honestly speaking. did a single person on this planet believe marc when he said he just happened to end up right behind fabio? who knows, maybe there's someone out there, who knows...

obviously, marc and his team weren't really trying to hide what they were doing, which makes it even funnier that marc just goes for this completely shameless 'oh it was all just a coincidence' routine. and of course, this entire episode ended on a pretty sour note for marc. even though he tried to shrug it off in the moment, this incident did come with consequences for him:

which, yeah. lot's to be said here, lots to be said. but let's return to the actual point of the post, the mind games

in the end marc did do a rather nice salvage job in the race, p11 to p2 - and fabio didn't win the race, which I'm sure was appreciated. here's a nicely in-depth description of the incident that I'm going to liberally steal excerpts from. it's a good bit of extra insight on both the episode itself and what it represented in the broader context of the dynamic between the pair of them

it's part of the established playbook when it comes to dealing with promising young talent: you try to rough them up in the races and you try to rough them up outside of them. you try to make them nervous, maybe you even try to scare them. and so the cycle continues

this is the thing, right, marc really does view all on-track sessions as time to 'work' on his rivals. he's never been focused solely on himself during these sessions - and the towing thing has never just been a matter of practicality for him. 'the race doesn't just happen on sunday' 'great riders, champions, are bullies' 'they don't just want to win, they want to rub the rest of the world's noses in it'... marc has always adopted that philosophy in his racing (and he learnt from the best). he's never been shy in his tactics of intimidation - in his efforts to undermine his rivals' confidence and make them suffer. it's all part of the game

and then, of course, there's the bit of insight we get about how marc was reportedly worried about fabio because of his talent and fearlessness... a rookie who hadn't even won a race yet. and yet marc's "been doing his best to instil fear" into fabio. unfortunately it's not always easy to spook young talent, especially when they're so very brave... it's a tricky line to toe - by marking out your rivals like that, you are also letting them implicitly know you see them as a threat. which if anything can help motivate them and make them more confident. inconvenient

anyway, l'll include some more of the description of the incident, which helps illustrate just how little effort marc was going to in attempting to hide his underhanded behaviour (and how that may have been the whole point):

inherently, right, this 'battle of nerves' is a really important element of the whole towing strategy. it's about your read of the other rider, your analysis of their character, how you think they will play the situation... how much you think they're willing to risk, how much you think they'd be motivated to just fuck you over regardless, how prepared they will be to call your bluff. and in the context of sepang 2019, with that year's title very much sealed up, marc decided that he was prepared to play this game for as long as he had to. marc had won the last five races, fabio was still searching for his first ever win... marc knew young and hungry fabio would blink before he did

which, yeah. less than ideal to engage in mind games in a way that ends up getting you injured. this whole incident does serve as a good illustration of marc's overall approach, but obviously this specific episode wasn't particularly successful or indeed wise from marc's side. all in all, it probably wasn't all that intimidating for fabio when marc crashed behind him

anyway, here's some more bits talking about how marc was perhaps not being 100% honest in his post-qualifying interview:

even though in this specific example marc did admittedly fuck it, a lot of this kind of behaviour isn't bad long-term investment because it's meant to be cumulative, where you're just consistently putting pressure on someone... as it says above, "every ounce of energy spent worrying about you is one which can't be spent on trying to go faster". so you're hoping to distract your opponents, you're hoping that this constant tension will eventually unsettle them - or that you've spent so much time studying and analysing them that you can figure out how to bother them more effectively (*coughs* 2008 *coughs again*). or maybe you just can't help yourself in messing with your opponents and sometimes it is counterproductive because you've shown them how seriously you take them as a rival. maybe sometimes it's a bit of all of those things!

on fabio's reaction:

which is a pretty friendly response, it has to be said! but anyway, of course 'if he wants to follow us we are doing a good job' is probably the most healthy and useful takeaway from the whole thing. that's the thing with bullies, isn't it, you do have to figure out a way to stand up to them. fabio might have been annoyed while marc was picking on him, but he's not picking a fight with marc after the fact. he's just making it clear that he's not been intimidated - and has bagged himself pole in the process while marc started from eleventh place. as fabio says, "it's a little bit part of the game". but it is a game, and it's one that marc has always been more than happy to play

[angeart]

I mean, its a lil bit dramatic xD But the one you guys say is loud and may have been insensitive before being the one to step up? I like (which also yes I wanna ask about that too its me I wanna know all the things)

-🎀

it's overdramatic, hehe.

and. gosh, kane. the way kane grows on them and, honestly, the way they grown on kane, is so precious to me. and it was a very rocky start, mind you! [2,8k ramble ahead <3]

as i said before, they actually first met months before the vex arc. back then, the vex party (kane included) were slightly interested in scar, and considered grian as a liability to him. that was the eclipse day, especially dangerous, and they were sure an avian like that was bound to not survive, anyway.

scar is invited to go with them. he refuses.

imagine their surprise when they run into them later, and grian's still there. it's still the two of them against the world.

the vex party is different now—it's not the best warriors coming out into chaos and mayhem to get their claws bloody. they're less on guard, more curious and open. impressed, honestly, that these two are still alive.

they invite them again, this time the avian included, and... they say yes. (mostly lured by a prospect of sleeping in an actual bed.)

there's no real accommodation extended to grian as an avian. (except nadia does put in the effort to make the place safer for the birb guest.) (safe from what, you ask? hehe. dw about that <3)

everything continues feeling a bit precarious and uneasy, because even though the vexes have no interest in grian's wings—they themselves are hunted and actively fight hunters, after all; they have no dealings with them—it's still very uncomfortable, the way they are looking at him. the way their attention inevitably snags at him, his presence sticking out even with his wings tucked underneath his cloak.

honestly, for a while, the vexes really don't consider grian as a part of the group at all. he's just scar's plus-one, almost like a possession. he seems to belong to scar, in some way.

they'd still fight to protect him, if it came to that, but with a convoluted logic behind it, you know? they protect their own, and scar is one of them—a vex. and grian comes attached to that. that's all there is to it, in their eyes.

the vexes are loud and brash and violent. taunting and open. they're not used to someone who isn't like that. someone who might need more space, different boundaries. someone who doesn't have magic and claws and can't heal—someone light and small, with bones that might break far too easily, and with bright but dishevelled feathers so fearfully and insistently tucked out of sight.

they have no idea how to treat this avian, and they're stubborn enough to not even really consider it at first. he is living with them, surely he can be the one to adjust?

---

this all sort of culminates into the bird incident.

consider this: one day the vex hunting party returns with a rare specialty: a bird.

grian hasn't really seen a living bird yet in this world. and now won't be an exception. the vex saw the bird and promptly shot it, looking forward to the meal. they come back to the village all boisterous and grinning, flaunting the feathery carcass.

it's not like they outright present it to the avian—even they know that'd be wrong—but they're overjoyed and loud about it, wanting to show the others, not really being careful.

grian's ears ring. he's overcome with nausea, feeling dizzy, trying not to have a panic attack right then and there,.helplessly trying not to associate their howls and cheers with the elated, cruel cheers of hybrid hunters.

scar, of course, is pissed on grian's behalf.

but the others don't understand. it's not something they'd ever consider, a wholly new concept that refuses to sink fast enough to deescalate. birds are a rare delicacy! they're yummy and this is a triumph! this is meant to be good, c'mon! it has nothing to do with the avian!

kane says something along the lines of, “come on scar it’s food we don’t need to coddle him—“ 

and Scar gets even more pissed off. “are you even thinking?? try to put yourself in our shoes—“ 

this all leads to a fight breaking out between kane and scar. a vex fight, using vex forms! which is how they solve arguments here in the commune.

vex forms use vex magic that is rooted in emotions, and because of that, there's an unspoken understanding that whoever feels stronger about the issue at hand is bound to win. it's a convoluted way to say that the winner is the one with stronger conviction.

but kane has a much better control over his vex form than scar does, instantly putting scar at a disadvantage, no matter how fiercely he wants to have an upper hand here, to show them that they are wrong.

they fight with claws and teeth, feral and angry, and— this is normal! it's normal for vexes! their vex forms run on magic that will patch them up, and neither of them is really trying to genuinely harm the other.

still, it's scary to witness. blood is drawn. it's hard to tell whose it is. it's all a bit of a blur.

grian's mind is reeling. he moves on pure instinct, trying to get into the fray, to help scar.

nico takes place by grian's side and holds him back. "just let them fight it out." he's very calm about it. he knows his mate, he speaks with his claws sometimes, that's just how things are. "they'll be fine."

it would be placating, maybe, if grian's mind wasn't so violently spinning. maybe if he was used to people who aren't scar leaning close into his orbit. maybe if he was used to hands other than scar's touching him.

right now, grian is already haywire on unease, and he's being grabbed and—

he lets out a distressed chirp.

this effectively whips scar's attention away from his fight with kane, instantly searching for threats to his mate, and lunging at nico instead.

which in turn triggers kane's protectiveness of his mate, and he pounces on scar with much more force. the "petty" argument shifts into something worse, more fierce. things get a bit out of hand.

nico releases grian, realising they need to break this up and pull the two idiots (/aff) apart before they really hurt themselves.

grian's strategy is still to put himself between kane and scar, so that he can't hurt scar more. so he leaps in, wings flapping, desperate to shield his mate.

it's what he'd do with hunters, but kane is a clawed, angry vex.

nico is the only levelheaded one to see where this is going. the only one to instantly understand the consequences of this. because grian isn't a vex. he's an avian, made of brittle, hollow bones, and without a lick of magic in his body that'd help him heal.

grian gets so close to getting horribly injured. it's only nico that stops kane short of hurting him. snapping him out of it. scolding grian, too, like what were you thinking??

but this is a breaking point, a line drawn, where the vexes see that this bird is as fiercely protective as scar is. that he isn't a coward. that he is willing to put himself on the line. and, it gets grian some respect! a fearless little bird!

while nico checks grian over, still scolding him but no longer encroaching on his space or trying to touch him, kane walks over to scar, who is on the ground, mildly concussed but otherwise okay. kane extends his hand to pull him up.

because it's over now! they fought it out. (scar lost.) there's a mutual respect in the aftermath of vex fights, no sour feelings—there's nothing shameful in fighting for what you believe in, after all. and even if there's only one winner, it levels the ground they're standing on, inching towards mutual understanding. or something.

so he helps scar up, throwing out a remark as he grins: "your bird is crazy, scar. i like him."

scar is still dizzy when he responds with a dazed "i like him too."

in the aftermath of this, vexes start to pay more attention to grian. more openly letting him in, interacting with him (instead of just addressing scar), trying to include him.

tentatively, grian lets it happen. it still has its bumps, many mishaps. but none out of malice, you know?

like that time kane talked to grian about mating marks. he basically acknowledges that he doesn't get it, knowing nothing about the avian side of things, not realising what scar's earring means. after all, vexes mark their loved ones with teeth! that's the language kane understands!

it's a whole big deal, really stressing grian out, even if it wasn't meant maliciously. but it's just one more thing showing that these vexes don't really understand anything about avians—their instincts, communication, or ways of showing affection. they never really had to think about it!

so misunderstandings are bound to happen. but it's not all bad! it stops being so awfully rocky over time, with less steps on buried landmines. it tides into a collection of nicer moments as the vexes and grian learn to navigate each other and start being more accepting about their differences, learning about that gap between them. even start to try and bridge it!

the vexes celebrate often, using every little excuse to make a party out of their triumphs. they like being rowdy and dancing and just living, and they are eager to drag scar and grian into it.

it's these events that let scar and grian loosen a little bit more. they're silly with each other and unabashedly in love and, honestly, they're beginning to grow on everyone.

having scar there as a sort of middle ground between grian and the others really helps, too. because they get to see how scar interacts with grian, and how grian interacts with him. they start learning, quietly, just from that, about some subtleties. they also get to see a more open side of grian, one that's reserved for scar, allowing them a glimpse to who grian could be, if only he trusted his surroundings enough.

and maybe they find that they do want that trust.

they do want him to know he can rely on them. they'd fight for him, you know? he is now one of them, without question, they've taken him in and he's fought his way into being more than just "scar's bird". he can be fearless, ready to fight when it counts, a quality vexes hold in high regard! and they now know that there's definitely more to him than he's letting them see, and... they want to provide the space for him to unravel that. to show all of his potential. to allow him to live like they do. like the world isn't constantly about to end.

during this time, scar is often taken along on vex patrols, learning about vexes and being encouraged to develop more as a fighter (something he isn't really all that much into). this means he spends a lot of time with nico and kane, as they're two prominent warriors in this village, and they end up chatting a lot.

this then tips into them hanging out or approaching scar even outside of these patrols more often, feeling closer to him now—and that means approaching grian, too, since him and scar come as a package deal. and eventually it stops feeling like grian is the extra here. he has his own value, his own presence, and they recognise it! they want to learn more about him too!

they get a chance to see a side of grian that they don't expect, when he builds a barn for the old goat that lives in the village. they don't even realise how big of a deal that is—they're just stunned by his skills. because building with more than just bland function in mind is not something they can fathom. they wouldn't know where to start!

so here is where kane has to confront that fighting skills aren't everything. that other things can matter and be wonderful, too. and, actually, he'd really like it if grian kept building more. (imagine scar beaming with pride over his mate in the background of this all, yes.)

sometimes when scar and kane spar, grian climbs up a nearby roof (helps him settle, to be high up). sometimes, nico follows, sitting next to him and keeping him company.

throughout this all, scar and grian keep some layers of distance around them still. they don't go to sleepovers. they don't talk about things that hurt deep behind their ribs. they don't talk about where they're from or what they've been through. they keep their heartache to themselves, all the little moments that make their souls splinter and fray; whenever things catch them off guard and things become Too Much Too Fast, they just leave instead of talking it out and explaining. drawing a thick line behind them and that trigger, retreating back to their own space to put themselves back together in privacy.

(and it's great because they do have their own space!)

kane has a lot of that, you know, brashness about him. lots of thoughtless words. he's not great at being subtle or having tact. but he never means things badly. he never wants to upset them. and that's something he now finds himself wrangling with. asking nico what he's doing wrong whenever scar and grian retreat. (because through that rough exterior, he's a big softie deep down when it's about people he cares about.) (oh yeah turns out he profoundly cares about grian and scar. huh. when did that happen.)

more often than not, it's not even his fault. it takes very little to touch scar and grian's haphazard piles of trauma.

and, they know! they know he doesn't mean to set things off. they know they're not giving him enough to understand what to steer clear of (they themselves don't know, half the time, to be fair).

just like how kane is learning about scar and grian, they're also learning about him. about how he hides his emotions behind words, how he gets easily embarrassed and resorts to pride and teasing, how he sometimes says things in a different way than he means them.

and step by step, they're inching closer to common grounds. they start to rely on each other's presence.

and then The Night For Living comes around.

of course they're gonna go spend the celebrations and games together! they're so much closer now than they were at the start, fond of each other in ways that'd make kane's face burn red and stutter if he was forced to admit it.

they're friends.

and maybe they could be more than that.

cue found family trope

a lot of things happen during the Big Special Vex Celebration Night. the night when it's safe to be, unabashedly and fully. it's wilder than normal celebrations, longer, an event everyone looks forward to. including special homebrew alcohol and a huge bonfire! vex howling and laughter and banter everywhere. roughhousing and sparring and competing.

grian and scar fall under it's rough charm, too. with kane and nico by their side, making their way through the event, drinking and talking and laughing. playing games with each other, and in general having a good time.

this was said before, but this is the night when grian gets mr beak, a silly chicken plushie. and it's kane who gives the toy over—kane, who before fought scar on insensitivity where birds were concerned. now, he is treading carefully, looking to scar for approval and guidance. not wanting to mess up.

equipped with mr beak, they move on, seeking out the next thrill. they decide to do the obstacle course, this time just kane and grian, 1v1! no flying allowed, but everything else (including gliding) is ok.

this is where something in grian sparks.

maybe it's the alcohol, the hints of safety and freedom, or them playing games, but— he gets really into it. he gets to utilise his wings as he navigates the obstacles, and he's laughing, running on a high, and... the finish line is a pile of blankets.

a nest-like thing.

i do have 6,7k words long self-indulgent RP tucked away of just this scene, if you'd like. but the gist of it is that kane is once again caught off guard, because— well, he's never seen grian like this. so bright and cheerful, wings in use.

and grian invites him into it. beckons him closer as him and scar giggle giddily about his victory in a pile of blankets.

the prize, this time, is a special cherry flavoured liquor bottle... that has a pink ribbon attached to it.

maybe grian isn't thinking things through. maybe he's tipsy and running on bird instincts. maybe this is impulsive.

but it feels right.

so he grabs kane's hand. and he ties that ribbon around kane's wrist.

and even if kane doesn't understand the severity of it, he knows it means something big. it's a gift. and it's not a bite, but in kane's heart, that suddenly doesn't seem to matter.

(and yet scar knows. he knows what grian is saying here.)

(he's saying: flock.)

there's more that happens on this night. scar and nico also end up getting ribbons, several mental spirals and breakdowns and games later (pff), and now they're a Ribbon Gang!! (family. flock.) ...but i'm going to leave this at that, as this was meant to be about grian and kane and... i just really wanted to tell you about the ribbon thing :3

as a bonus, have this discord screenshot that i find very funny in the most endearing way: