#mumbo is a FUCKIN MESS

[definitelynotshouting]

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

that cha pter was ins ane omfg, excuse me while I go cry. omg poor mumbo, poor peearl, poor everyone they all going through it. I wnat to just grab them all up wrap em in a blanket and give them some hot coco omfg

>:^) <- guy who is writing problems on purpose

:DDD im so happy you liked it!!!! And gods yeah they all need a good burrito-ing fr, everyone is a fuckin mess right now

[atherix]

So I just finished reading the latest chapter and OH MY HEART— the Mimics just made my blood BOIL because everyone seeing them wear the faces of dead loved ones made my skin crawl and I can only imagine the mental ANGUISH. It’s evident that Grian loved Pearl dearly, and the utter forced acceptance that she’s dead and gone wounded my very soul. I mean, his sister, the only one who ever cared about him in the Alley, that’s an awful memory to live with. Meanwhile poor Mumbo can’t catch a break. Seeing Anna and Lilith again is such a different experience than simply remembering. He’s heard the Mimics use their voices, use their faces, ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH HIM. Now he has memories of them that aren’t the real ones, and you can’t tell me that won’t mess with his head! And oh lord, poor Scar. He had to really jump into action there. He knew they were fake, but imagine how he felt about attacking the Mimics when they impersonated Mumbo’s family. Just—aughsagshahdjdkshdh and let’s not forget the moment of the hour when that imposter spoke to him using such a personal nickname. He’s probably associated that nickname with so many negative experiences that this was just the icing on the cake.

Man, imagine the “go go go” Tubbo felt. Poor lad, he’ll always be a good boi in my eyes and must be protected from all that do harm.

Anyways, my rambling aside, this chapter hit us with quite the lore! I mean, the aftermath of Grian’s escape, realizing the extent of the damage done? Oh he’s definitely drowning in guilt, no question there. And the implication that the Alley has been abandoned for a long time (saw another anon proposing a time warp situation :0) is very intriguing to me. Also also, the fact that the Mimics even exist! Changelings and whatever Lizzie is (I forgor) and now this? I wonder what other creatures are associated with the almighty Watchers? And oh boy did they sound FURIOUS when they heard Tubbo had read the Tome. I get it, only the worthy can look at the book, but when they regarded him as a fae with such distaste, it got me wondering if the Watchers and their aligned creatures view themselves as something above the other pantheons. My guy, THE ENDING CAUGHT ME WHEN I WAS VULNERABLE HOW DARE YOU—I WAS RECOVERING WAAAHH I CAN’T KEEP IT TOGETHER I’M RATTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGE—

The Mimics are horrifying :) And they. Hm. Well, if Scar was questioning his own humanity, he hasn't met inhuman yet, because these things are not. Humane. Let's just put it that way haha- God yeah, just that hope, that absolute joy at seeing her again.... and then it's torn down, like it never even was </3 AND YEAH GOD MUMBO. MUMBO who watched these two loved ones die and was helpless to stop it. God. Just jkfhdsjkfkds it's like being hit in the face just. Poor man </3 AND YEAH OH GOD now his "last memories" of them aren't even them and it's such a fuckin hjfgjksdjkfds someone get this man some therapy </3 So, fun fact... The Mimic mimicking Scar's father was stood at the bottom of the stairs. Scar turned around, looked down the stairs at Mumbo, Grian and Tubbo... but didn't freeze up until the nickname was used. Do with that as you wish :) But gods yeah that nickname. His childhood nickname </3 There's so many Feelings attached to that name </3

Tubbo is such a good boy but oh my god the ADRENALINE RUSH he probably got-

Hehehe oh god indeed, if he blamed himself before.... remember how he tried to let the guilt go when he realized he was nothing to them? Well... now.... :) Hehehe. I love when people pick up little things <3 (She's a shapeshifter! Specifically a cat shapeshifter <3) Now Mimics are worse than Changelings or Shapeshifters and I cannot even explain why. But man. So many things that can hide their true form :) Hm hmmmmm. Hehehehehee :) FJHSHGJKFHSKFSJK LMAAOOOO THEN THAT MEANS IT CAUGHT YOU AT THE RIGHT MOMENT <3

[petrichormeraki]

Hermit things that give me serotonin: a compilation

Scar

The way he says "amazing" like "uh-MAYZING"

His mournful laugh when he dies, usually by flying straight into something while in f5 ("nooo-hoo-hoo-hoo!")

"Oh, you RAPSCALLION!"

Jellie taking his chair so he just crouches next to it as if he's sitting

His laugh is like an inhale laugh??? It's weird but really cute

I LOVE watching his timelapses, I just can't get enough of them (He has great music choice too)

Lore for ALL of his builds

Bdubs

"But first, gotta shreep!"

His borderline insane laugh that just comes out of nowhere

When his voice gets really shy and weird when something overwhelms him ("okay! Okiokioki-")

Keysmashing with his voice

"HI HAWSIE!!"

He gets SO violent at the flip of a switch it's so funny

Mentioning his daughters when he builds something that reminds him of them and his voice gets all soft and sweet ❤

The visual gag of instantly stripping to his Rambo outfit anytime something comes up that could even SLIGHTLY warrent it makes me lose my shit

"It's time for....Redstone with Bdubs!!"

Fuckin IMMEDIATE defense every time his height is mentioned

Spam crouching

Mumbo

You can HEAR the smile in his voice when a redstone goes right

His voice in general is just. Good stuff man

He gets much more upbeat and giggly when he talks to another hermit it's the best

Feral chaos that is just funnier by his general appearance

Semi related but he's ironically taught me a lot of fun tricks with stairs in his building videos so props to that

He has no braincell whenever he's not doing redstone and it shows. This man only has one strength otherwise no thoughts head empty

"I'm chuffed to bits over this one!"

Surprisingly really sassy but only to Iskall, they're like bickering siblings it's the best

Serverwide meme, what an icon

Grian

Cold opens that usually start with him doing some mischief

His cackle when he's watching the carnage of one of his pranks

On the flip side, Grian's GENUINE laugh??? When you can hear him lean away from the mic because he's laughing so hard??? GOOD SHIT

"Pesky Bird"

"I did some building off camera" *pans to an entire goddamn build added to his base*

Messing with AFK players

"WHO IS THIS GRAIN CHARACTER???"

His hilarious voice for villagers from element animation is so amazing

*dies abruptly* *moment of silence* *heavy, heavy sigh*

Or, the alternative: *dies abruptly* *extremely high pitched* "WHAT?!"

Acts like a needy boyfriend for Mumbo's attention

Always talks about his cats in videos

Iskall

"Hallo! :D"

I know I've said this for like every hermit but his laugh is SO GOOD

Hermit impressions

"Super, mega, OMEGA, [object] of doom"

LOVES to use English words he enjoys over and over 

Names his redstone machines like they’re pets 

VERY satisfying timelapses because he just speeds up the sound of placing the blocks instead of playing music 

Calling Stress “adorable” and “cute” every time he meets with her 

The FUNNIEST skins 

Dissolving into giggles to the point where he can’t talk while on call with another hermit (usually Mumbo) 

SAVAGE on streams 

Recurring bits (”Iskall-MAN”, his plushy, pogskall) 

Okay this is getting long so I’ll leave it here but I have many more if y’all are interested ^^

[bellfort3]

SBI Fanfics of the Week (week 60)

The Moon, She Calls Me Home by SilverWing15

5/5

He should--he can’t be doing this. He’s a werewolf, he’s dangerous, this is dangerous, for him, for everyone he might encounter. He can’t control himself.

But he feels in control.

He feels powerful and strong and wild. But not wild in an out of control way, wild in the way wolves are wild. Independent, untamed, confident, even under all his anxiety. He is a wolf, this is his world, this is his grass. This is where he belongs.

Not locked up in a basement, not chained and behind bars.

Here, out here, in the moonlight, in the night breeze, with the grass under his paws.

He takes a step towards the trees. The shadows are beckoning him. Calling him like friends, the leaves rustle, whispering of all the games they could play, how far he could run, how loud he could be without worrying Dream at all.

He takes another step. Another.

He’s walking, trotting, running.

He’s free.

alone i pick you by wednesdayevening

1/1

Tommy doesn’t have a compass. No perpetually spinning needle. No north star. No ethereal magnetism, no soulmate magic mumbo-jumbo crap. Phil has two, and Tommy’s got none.

And it sucks. There’s no sugar-coating it: having no soulmate fucking sucks. But it's bearable. He lives with it. And then one of his friends find theirs, and it's suddenly exponentially more shit.

fear or love? by Drhair76

1/1

"Sometimes I feel like I've got to get the fuck away from myself or I'll explode." Tommy admits.

or, everything is fickle and Tommy tries to understand it all.

Bruising Like A Bad Apple by Soulless_Fawn

1/1

“Tommy!” Wilbur yells, sounding cheerful as always. But there was an undertone to it, a factor that made him pausing in sitting back down. Tommy frowned, bringing his phone closer even if he didn’t really need to with it being on speaker.

“Yea?” He asks, hand wringing out beside him. Did something happen that he wasn’t aware of?

“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, still sounding cheerful. “ Chats asking about you.” And just like that Tommy understands what’s up. He’s scared to look at the time.

“Shit.” He says, throwing his phone onto his mattress as he hurries to get ready. His fans are going to kill him.

“Okay I muted for a second, where are you dude? We have been planning this since last week.” Wilbur doesn’t sound angry and the thought of Wilbur having to keep back the fans claws at his heart. He knows Wilbur wouldn’t be mad at him for something like this, but he feels like he should. He’s messing up everything, again! And for what? A couple plot points forward into an imagery world he created in his head?

Basically; Tommy’s parents are not always around and he deals with this by daydreaming his life away. His friends don’t like this.

It's Called: Freefall by third_crow

8/22

“Look, Tommy, I know this is a lot–”

“I don’t need the pity party,” Tommy interrupted. “Aw, it must be so hard, aw, how sad, it’s… fuckin’… it’s fine. Yeah? So just– how long do I have to stay here?” Phil took a breath, straightening his back.

“At least until we can contact your mom,” he said. “That’s step one.”

“There’s more steps?” Tommy asked incredulously.

“Well, it’s a complicated situation. The fact that they’re already struggling to make contact is… well, it’s a red flag. You lived with your brother, but your mother never transferred sole custody, and considering the situation that left you in, there's some question as to whether or not she may be involved in your brother’s… business.”

“Drugs,” Tommy said.

“Yes. Drugs.”

Or, Phil is a foster parent who takes in emergency cases, and Tommy… well, Tommy sure is an emergency.

come rest your bones next to me by florasics

1/1

Wilbur hums again, trying to keep his voice level and calm as worry pools in his heart. “Do you know what time it is right now, lovely?”

“Right now? Uh.” Faint rustling is heard from the other side of the call, along with another tired groan from Tommy. “It is…oh shit.”

or; tommy overworks himself and ends up sleeping through an important stream. wilbur calls him and is a good brother :D !

Homesick by woamx

1/1

Tommys officially moved out of his parents house, but everything about new experiences just screams wrong. He talks to Wilbur about it.

hearth, home, right here by Larkspursprings

1/1

“Wilbur!” Tommy hollers, beaming, as Wilbur joins the call. “How’re you doing, man? What’s going on?”

“Not much,” Wilbur says, and stifles a yawn. “What’s … ‘s there something I was s’posed to be here for?”

Tommy wracks his brain. “Well, I’m streaming,” he says, “at the moment.” As if to agree, his chat flies by at the speed of light, mostly proclamations of SLEEPYBUR and HI WILBURRR and KEKW. “Happy freaking … Christmas, I guess!”

His brain screams at him, Tell Wilbur, tell Wilbur, tell Wilbur. I’m alone. I’m alone. I’m alone.

Tommy thinks he’ll be alone for the holidays. Wilbur, Phil, and Techno refuse to let that happen.

lucky by lucysgotnotalent

1/1

“Hey, Toms? Do you want to go out with me and Tech today? I was planning on asking you yesterday, but you were out with Tubbo and Ranboo all day, and I kinda forgot,” Wilbur asked him.

"Well," Tommy paused. He knew he wouldn’t do very well walking around shopping with how warm and dizzy he was, but he normally wouldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. He wanted to go, and he was pretty sure Wilbur would be suspicious if he declined. Techno and Wilbur rarely had free time like this anymore.

“If you’re not feeling up to it then you don’t have to come.” Wilbur added after a second.

“I’m feeling perfectly up to it!” Tommy said.

Wilbur grinned, and Tommy had this strange feeling that he had just fallen into a trap of some sort.

tommy gets sick. his brothers are busier than ever, and his dad is just as busy as he's always been (which is very). instead of bothering them with his silly cold, he decides to take care of it himself. it doesn't quite work out for him.

[votederpycausemufins]

-slams fists on table- part two! Notes are that I miss Grumbot and I feel like Scar gives off worried dad vibes and Scar and Grian feel like they’d be bickering siblings. again a ping to @petrichormeraki​ for making this au.

In spite of the revelation of this bee apparently somehow being Tubbo, Tommy did not react with yelling or screaming. Instead he started by just staring at the hive where he had fallen after tripping, thinking about the new knowledge. And then he screamed.

Responding to the scream, the bee, uh, Tubbo. Tubbee? Yeah Tubbee. Tubbee popped out of his hive and flew over to Tommy. Tommy, still not completely okay with what was going on, scrambled back a few blocks. Tubbee didn’t care and just flew all the way until he settled in Tommy’s lap. He nuzzled against Tommy, the spinning compass that was now on the floor once again pointing towards Tubbee before returning to spinning wildly.

“Okay. Fuck. What the fuck. Tubbo I know you like bees but this?” Tommy gave a nervous chuckle. “This is too fucking far.”

Tubbee buzzed happily, not seeming to realize Tommy’s distress about his current form. He then started to fly around Tommy, bopping against him happily as Tommy pulled out his communicator to send a message to all the Hermits that were around. ‘Something really fucking weird happened and I need help. Even from Xisuma if he can come back.’

Almost immediately a new message came in with a buzz. It was from Stress scolding Tommy for his language. The next was from Scar who was surprised Tommy needed Xisuma’s help and asked what was going on. As Tommy typed a response, just along the lines that it was hard to explain, Xisuma replied in the chat saying he was on his way.

Tommy set his phone back down and just sat on the ground in silence as he waited for the admin to arrive. The phone buzzed a few more times, but Tommy ignored it for the most part. There was a distant sound of a firework launching and the teen figured that would have to be Xisuma. Tubbee also seemed to hear the noise, because immediately after it sounded, he flew and hid inside the nearby hive.

A few seconds later, the door opened to Xisuma. He started to speak but was pushed aside by a panicked looking Scar. “What happened?! Why do you need X’s help?”

Tommy shoved away the second hermit who was already looking him over for any injury. “God, stop acting like my fucking mom. I just have a weird bee.”

“A what?” Scar pulled away suddenly, causing Tommy to almost fall over. Tubbee decided this was the perfect time to come out of his hive and fly over to Tommy for comfort. “Oh, that kind of b.”

Xisuma looked between Tubbee and the hive. “It looks like it’s using the hive correctly, though it is still attracted to you. Are you sure you don’t have any-”

“I don’t have any fuckin’ flowers. And it’s not a normal bee.” As Tommy talked, he wasn’t really paying attention to the fact that he was now subconsciously holding Tubbee and petting him. “I think my friend died and is a bee now.”

Both Scar and X just stood there, staring at Tommy and Tubbee. Before either of them could speak, the door slammed open again. “What happened?! Why do you need X’s help?” Grian shouted.

After a bit of calming down and making sure no more hermits would come racing over out of nowhere, Tommy explained about his friend who really liked bees, how the two of them had special compasses pointing to each other, how they would be in different servers but the compass was pointing to this bee. As the various Hermits talked, Tubbee decided it was a good time to explore and buzzed about the old hobbit hole.

“You’re saying this bee is your friend… reincarnated or something?” Grian asked skeptically.

“That’s the best clue I have.” Tommy answered with a shrug. “Not like I have much to go on. I’m not gonna drop back home and ask around saying ‘Hey, Tubbo die while I was gone?’ cause no matter what they wouldn’t let me back.”

“I can try and get some of my old magic crystals and try them on him.” Scar piped up before getting a shove from Grian.

“Those things don’t work.” Grian chided before being shoved back.

“A man-!” “Teen.” “-Teen has been turned into a bee, I doubt my crystals are that useless in a time like this.”

Xisuma carefully separated the two other Hermits. “Before you do that, I’m going to try having a look at his code. See if there’s any truth to the claim first.”

The comment hurt Tommy. “What, you don’t believe me?” Xisuma tried backtracking but Tommy stopped him. “Of course there’s something! Bees don’t just fucking act like that and compasses don’t just point at bees.” Tommy grabbed his compass from the floor and held it up. It spun wildly for a few seconds and one of the hermits was about to point that out when the needle changed its mind and pointed to Tubbee for the same amount of time before spinning around again.

Grian’s eyes widened and he managed to speak first. “That is bonkers. I’ve never seen that before! X, what does the bee say?”

“Can’t say much of anything.” Scar half mumbled, getting a jab in the ribs from Grian.

Xisuma turned his gaze to Tubbee and carefully grabbed him. Tubbee panicked for a few moments, but realized he wasn’t in any harm and let himself be held by such a large and kind looking bee.

X didn’t usually take advantage of his admin powers, at most messing with the end files every so often so the Hermits could get more shulker boxes. This was much different than that. Still Xisuma looked at the code of the bee. There was nothing there that directly seemed to be player code. There was something that resembled it, but nothing concrete. It just seemed like a, pardon the pun, a bugged bee.

“There’s something off, but it doesn’t seem like this bee is another player.” Xisuma informed Tommy, letting Tubbee go.

“What? Of course he is! This has to be Tubbo!” Tommy was taken aback by X’s claims. “Isn’t there someone else that’s better at this than you.”

“Tommy...” Scar spoke gently, but Tommy just turned and yelled at the mayor.

“Shut up! And don’t try using any magic mumbo jumbo on him!” Tommy grabbed Tubbee as he tried to explore again.

Grian tried holding in a laugh, but Tommy noticed and glared at him. “Look, I know some hermits had some machines last season that could tell fortunes or whatever, but we don’t really have that many here this season. I mean, there’s Grumbot, but he’s…”

No longer glaring, Tommy nearly jumped happily at the words. “Who’s Grumbot? Is ‘e another admin here?”

“No, no. He was uh, so I had Mumbo run for mayor and we built this robot to give us information on how to actually help him run for mayor and give mayoral advice, but he didn’t really-” Grian was scratching the back of his head, not sure how to explain it all to Tommy when the teen cut him off.

“Tubbo was president back home, maybe that’s close enough to mayor. Where is he?”

“Tommy, slow down.” Scar chimed in. “ I mean, uh, I’m the mayor, so Grumbot didn’t really help. Plus, didn’t you have to pay him diamonds for every question.”

Grian groaned. “Yes. I don’t know why that was ever a good design idea. He also had a mental breakdown when he thought Mumbo lost so we kinda… lied to him and told him Mumbo did become mayor and now he’s living in a virtual reality box.”

Tommy wracked his brain, trying to remember why that sounded familiar before he remembered. “You mean that mustache box off the coast of the shopping district? I’ve seen it a few times boating back home from there.”

Grian tried to backtrack, but it was obvious anything else was a lie. Tommy ran to the various chests, rummaging around until he found a spare lead.”C’mon Tubbo, let's go see this Grumbot.

Grian tried talking out of it, but Scar stopped him to talk with Tommy instead. Pulling the teen over to the side, he started to scold Tommy before lowering his voice. “Look, I don’t know if that machine is gonna work for you or not, but this seems important to you. From what I can tell you need to put the diamond in and press the buttons in order or something.” As Scar pretended to go back to scolding Tommy, he slipped a diamond into the boy’s hand. “Well, hopefully he’ll listen to reason.”

Getting what Scar was trying to do, Tommy put the lead away and sat down. “Yeah… guess I’ll just have to use what I know right now.”

Grian looked a little suspicious, but Scar managed to lead him out. Xisuma started to follow them out, but turned to Tommy and asked him to send updates. Tommy nodded and pet Tubbee, trying not to get too restless as he sat there to wait.

After waiting so long that Bdubs had to call the sun back, Tommy pulled out his lead again and built a boat. Carefully tying the lead around Tubbee, he climbed into the boat and tied the other end to one of the oars before paddling towards spawn. Eventually, he reached the large white box, and noticed that the mustache was not actually on the box, but a different building further on. Because of that, Tommy doubted about if Grumbot would be here, but when he found an opening and went in with Tubbee, he saw the computer.

Tommy expected something much smaller but Grumbot was huge and a bit overwhelming. He seemed to be staring off into the distance, and when Tommy looked that way, he saw recreation of the shopping district.

Pulling the diamond that Scar gave him out of his pocket, Tommy waked to the base of Grumbot and looked at the labeled buttons. He pressed the one labeled prime Grumbot and flinched at the slight grinding noise that came from the machine. While that made Tommy reluctant about the idea, he had already come all the way out here and started the process, so he might as well finish it up.

Next he pressed the boot load brain button and then the flood mayoral reservoirs one. More noises sounded from the machine and then Tommy looked at the last label. ‘Deposit Question Diamond.’ He was about to just put it in before he saw the anvils. After dying the other day, Tommy didn’t have many levels, but he had at least one.

Putting the diamond in an anvil, Tommy renamed it with a question and placed it in the machine and pressed the final button. Trying to help, Tubbee also bopped against the button as Tommy stepped back to look at the screen of Grumbot. The happy eyes changed to standard ones, and then they looked down as a paper dispensed.

Tommy ran back over to the machine and grabbed the paper to read it. There were only four words on it and just seeing the number nearly made Tommy tear it up, but then he actually comprehended the words. ‘Use the fourth button.’

Tommy looked back at the buttons and noticed the 4th one was made of a block. Pulling it out, he then placed it into the nearby mechanism and pressed the other three buttons. It took a bit of finagling to use the fourth button, what with it now missing. But then the screen glitched and then it glitched again. Tommy looked between the screen and the answer printer, angry to see no response. With that anger, he kicked Grumbot, and then the screen stopped glitching.

“Ah, just what I needed. A good kick to the ribs.” Tommy swore and fell to the ground at the booming voice that came from Grumbot. Tubbee was also scared by it and cowered next to Tommy. Looking up, he saw the screen no longer glitching and the previously stiff face looking very animated as it looked around, eventually looking down at Tommy.

“So, you’re the one who wants my help, yes?” The booming voice spoke again, making Tommy cover his ears this time. “Oh sorry, I guess I’m a bit too loud.” Grumbot apologized as he lowered his voice.

Tommy, having no clue how Grumbot was supposed to act, didn’t find his voice and much more emotive face odd. “Yeah, uh. So Grian told me that you did mayoral stuff and while it’s not the same, I have a friend who is, or was , a president and wondered if you could help with that?”

Grumbot’s face tilted as his computer head could not. “Your first diamond was asking about the status of a ‘President Tubbo’. While I have been here with only the occasional visit, I’ve had time for my redstone brain and so to upgrade and find new databases and reservoirs.”

“Uh… does that mean you know that-“ Tommy started to speak but was cut off.

“Yes. I know now my dad did not win the election. At the time, that was my only purpose. I was upset when I learned the truth when you activated me, but I have new purpose and my dads just did what they could to care for me.”

Tommy just nodded, not completely sure what all of that meant, more from not paying attention. “Okay, well I think my friend who was president elsewhere got turned into this bee.” And Tommy held up Tubbee.

Grumbot ‘leaned’ closer to see Tubbee and then looked at the data he received about a president Tubbo. “Your friend was not turned into a bee.”

Tommy frowned at the answer, arms falling to his sides, Tubbee now free to do more exploring. “What do you mean, my compass is supposed to point to Tubbo and it points to this bee, so it has to be Tubbo! He loves the things so much it makes sense he would become one.”

Grumbot added the new information to his data. “Well, that is neither your dead friend returned to life as a bee, nor your friend disguised as one. It is instead something else.”

Protests Tommy had been about to sling at the robot died in his throat and was replaced with a new question. “What is it then?”

Grumbot paused, making sure he could get all the data he had access to and could help. “Your world is… different.” The AI started slowly. “You can lose lives and eventually truly die. But you don’t just die and decide one is a true life lost. When that happens, you… lose a piece of you. Enough times and what makes you you can’t exist in a body anymore.”

Tommy interrupted Grumbot. “So Tubbo is a ghost possessing the bee?”

The AI glared at Tommy for a few seconds, screen background turning a certain shade of red. But then he calmed. “No, your friend is still alive, but he has had one of those special deaths happened. It was before you arrived here in Hermitcraft. That death broke off a piece of his soul and it managed to end up here. Whether the piece was active the whole time or it only activated once you, a familiar being, drew near, I cannot say.”

Tommy processed the information before asking a clarifying question. So, the bee is only like a piece of Tubbo?”

A piece of paper was printed out and then Grumbot’s screen went dark. Tommy grabbed the paper and read the word ‘Yes.’ There was also a post script asking for Tommy to kill Scar for the AI which Tommy laughed at. He then got the lead back around Tubbee and headed home.

Even if it wasn’t really Tubbo, Tommy found Tubbee comforting. Maybe even if this piece of Tubbo was here, Tubbo could feel Tommy on the other end, trying to care for his friend. Xisuma came to visit Tommy again after a few days and heard from Tommy what Grumbot had said. Grian came later that same day and freaked out when he learned about Grumbot, leaving almost immediately to go find Mumbo who was also online.

Scar was the last to show up. He was glad to find out that Tommy had piece of mind, but was also a bit salty about the fact he was stabbed and killed the moment he walked through the door, though it was his own fault for getting there at half a heart from crashing into so much while flying.

[slutsofren]

Danger Days Chapter 6: Look Alive, Sunshine

summary: the three of you find more questions than answers and the start of a whole new fuckin' problem im so so so sorry

warnings: tw for gore, bloodshed, hurt/little comfort, angst, gunfight, etc

word count: 4,166 she’s a big bitch lol

read on ao3 here / masterlist

“Let’s look around,” Ellie said dejectedly.

Joel walked off on his own, giving the three of you some space. Ellie went through a door and walked down the hall to her right, following it.

The halls and rooms here were void of your previous allies, not a single soul seemed to be here but you could still make out traces of equipment and feel a semblance of sentimentality from your memories. Damned memories tickling at the edge of your mind.

You picked up some papers and read them quickly, hearing Ellie somewhere in another room asking if anybody is there and Joel off to your right in some other room shuffling around. There was still quite a bit of medical paperwork on the hopes of a cure, of somebody like Ellie coming by.

Unfortunately the research was only bits and pieces but you could catch an idea of a project involving infected monkeys. Suddenly you were startled as Ellie shouted, “Yoo-hoo! Fireflies! Cure for mankind over here! Anyone?”

Before you could tell her to stop, Joel reprimanded her. “Let’s keep it down until we figure out what’s going on.”

You looked over your shoulder and saw him savenging around, picking up remnants of med kits, gears, even forgotten bullets and tools. Idly you think hJoel has the right idea and go off searching around too, pocketing the rest of the papers to finish reading them later.

The three of you continue looking quietly until coming to the conclusion there’s not much here.

“You sure this is where they’d be,” Joel asks you.

“Positive. That room over there was my uncle’s office,” you pointed towards an open door. “They must have pushed back further into the building.”

Ellie was the first to walk down a hall, finding it leading across to a landing with elevators and stairs. The man stayed behind for a beat, eyeing you. Likely second-guessing your motioves. Eventually he turned and walked away, following the teen. At the center of it all were large black containers and she kneeled in front of an open one and began to read, Joel joining her in flipping through the papers.

“Nothing useful,” Ellie states, throwing the papers down a bit more harshly than necessary.

“Ain’t nothin’ here but a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo.”

You reach for some of the books and a binder and flip through them quickly too, noting some words about failed specimens and subjects not surviving an experiment until ultimately being harvested. Whatever they were doing wasn’t going well and they seemed to be feeling the weight of morality on their shoulders. There was an entry logged by some Doctor Anderson about feeling conflicted about torturing humans and questioning if it was worth it.

Shutting the binder quickly and throwing it in your backpack to finish reading it later, your mental dialog cut short as Ellie sighed heavily, “I don’t get it.”

“Looks like they all just packed up and left in a hurry, unless you got a better idea?”

Before you could answer, a loud metallic bang hit from the floor above the three of you. Ellie and Joel looked at each other before she said a bit grimly, “Maybe not all of ‘em left.”

“Stay close,” Joel commanded.

The stairs up to the third floor was behind Ellie and she went up first as you finished zipping up your backpack and tossing it on.

The floor above was more or less the same, open to the central garden in the middle of the building, objects in disarray, out of use vending machines that you’re pretty positive you used to pry open to steal sodas from. All this, but no Fireflies.

Joel went through a door on the left, probably scavenging for more things to find whereas you and Ellie went the scenic route on the outside corridor.

“What do you think happened?”

“Considering they had enough time to pack up research,” you pointed at some boxes, “they must have left willingly.” You shuffled through some more papers, looking for a clue. “But the question is, why leave?”

Ellie walked inside a door and followed the path of some wires that lead to an old flood light, “There are no bodies. That’s good, right?”

“If we find out where they went,” came Joel’s voice from behind you two.

You followed Ellie down the hall, peering into rooms and broken windows to your left. Suddenly there was another noise coming from behind and when the three of you turned, the very same flood light you’d all passed knocked over, lying prone on the ground.

“Shit,” Joel whispered.

“Um… So it’s probably clickers, right?”

You flashed Ellie a look, “Not the time.”

“Right.”

You all held your breath for a few moments, trying to listen until Joel broke the silence, answering Ellie. “No. Clickers don’t hide.”

He looked at you, giving you a once-over, likely weighing the possibility of you betraying him. You responded in kind expression, silently telling him to give whatever plot he has in mind a try.

Wary old bastard, you thought. As if you’d pull a stunt this far into your mission together, even after he began to act lukewarm to your presence.

You took the lead down a tarp covered hall, not really remembering this area much. They probably did push up to these higher levels judging by all the lab equipment left behind.

Digging in your memory, you recalled everybody keeping to the first and second floors in this building to make bailouts quicker. The militia men were on the rooftops to keep an eye out for any stray hunters or other unfriendlies.

Whatever happened on these floors were not from when you kept around.

Your trio came to a corner room that looked as if it were being used as an x-ray exam area, there were large black television-like screens on the wall that had some mangled imagery on them. Whatever it was put a shudder through you. Along the back wall, Joel found an x-ray abandoned on the counter and picked it up, when you and Ellie looked over his shoulder it looked like a skull with fungal growth on it. Like somebody who was infected for quite some time.

“Gross.” Ellie pretended to gag when she saw the photo.

Joel tucked the x-ray away and went on to look around, you followed by looking in the cabinets for alcohol disinfectant. “They had to have left something behind,” you mumbled to yourself as you began to feel the inklings of irritation slip into your bones.

Joel went to another door, this time leading to some room to the right but as he opened it, a screech came and he jumped, “Jesus!”

You drew your pistol from your hip and pointed it outwards, pushing Ellie behind you until you could hear chittering.

Fuckin’ monkeys , you think as you put your weapon down, faintly seeing three monkeys jump out a window on the opposite side of the room.

Ellie walks next to Joel, peeking into the lab he was stepping into and he leans towards her, “Well, at least it aint clickers.”

“Yeah. No Fireflies either,” she steps into the room. She throws her arms open wide, “Well, maybe in all that research they turned into fucking monkeys.”

You try to stifle a laugh but fail, a light giggle leaves your lips. “At least they’re not flying monkeys.”

“Just keep searching, we'll find something,” Joel says, shooting you a pointed look about your banter with Ellie.

The room looked like it used to be a science lab, naturally. The left and back side of the room were lined with metal cages, likely the ones that originally held the monkeys. Otherwise, there were large black countertop tables around, probably where students listened to their lecture and did hands-on assignments. Joel approached one of the tables in the middle, picking up what looked to be a recorder and pressed play.

A male voice clicked on. There were sounds of shuffling and screeches from the monkeys in the background. “That’s four palettes of lab equipment all packed up and ready to go. Now - big question is what do we do with all you guys. They say the tainted batch needs to be put down. You know what I say? I say screw that. Who made a bigger sacrifice than you, right? If anyone deserves to run free out there it’s-. Hey, easy! Agh. Shit. Oh, no. It bit me. Oh my god,” his breath gets heavy and the recorder stops abruptly.

Holy fuck, they were purposefully infecting animals , you think in horror.

“I’m sure glad we didn’t mess with them monkeys,” Joel says. “Did you know?”

You look at him wide-eyed and slack jawed. “Not a fuckin’ clue. I know my uncle was running blood tests and cell regrowth experiments but nothing like that.”

“He didn’t say where they went,” Ellie said, eyeing the two of you. The tension was minorly palpable, whatever small victory you gained in the camradiery field was now likely gone between Joel and you.

“I know, let’s keep looking,” Joel responded.

You fixed your composure and tried to reassure her, “We’ll find them.”

Your small trio followed the room into another, searching that one but finding nothing of interest in the drawers or on the tables. Not even another research binder. There was another door to the right and Joel approached it, trying to push his way in but there was a green metal object keeping it closed. He looked to you, “Hey, come help me.”

Stepping beside him, the two of you pushed against the door, throwing yourselves against it repeatedly to open it until it gave way. Joel gave you a tense nod, a silent thanks as he walked in first, Ellie close on his heels.

It wasn’t until you entered the room did you see it- the body. It looked to have been dead for quite a while, the bones were very obvious but still held together by the clothes wrapped around them. The person was sitting at a desk, facing the window, where Joel loomed over it as if it didn’t bother him and he picked up what looked to be another recorder.

Click. “If you’re looking for the Fireflies, they’ve all left,” a voice said grimly. You recognized it as the same one from earlier.

Ellie looked up from a binder she was flipping through, “Yeah, no shit.”

“I’m dead,” the man continued, “Or I will be soon. Got me some time to reflect.” Joel fast forwards through the tape, “...been years that felt like we were…”

He fast forwards again, “...fucking thing was a giant waste of ti-...”

And again, “...not gonna do this anymore…”

Ellie sighs while you pace, wishing to listen to the tape in more detail later. “Come on,” Joel grumbles as he fast forwards it yet again.

“...looking for the others, they’ve all returned to Saint Mary’s Hospital in Salt Lake City. You’ll find them there. Still trying to save the world. Good luck with that.”

Ellie sounding mildly hopeful looks to both of you, “Do either of you know where that is?”

“I know the city,” he nods before turning to catch you chewing on your fingernails in thought. “You?”

“I- I remember Marlene mentioning it to Regan on occasion but they talked about it like it was abandoned. I’ve never been there.”

“Is it far,” Ellie asked.

“It ain’t close. I mean on horseback-,” he stops abruptly, something catching his attention out the window.

“What?”

Out of the corner of your eye you see it too. Flashlights peeking through the windows. Just as Ellie asked if they were Fireflies, the light shines on them as they stood by the window and Joel pushed her down, ordering her and you to hit the deck just as whoever was on the other end of that light took a shot at you all, shattering the window.

“Shit,” you shout, ducking down to avoid the coming onslaught of gunfire.

Ellie looked at you, “Who the fuck are these guys?”

He looked at you angrily, “Did you lure them here? Is this some kind of trap?”

“Fuck you, Joel Miller! I didn’t.”

He stared you down. “Fine, It don’t matter,” Joel argued, “We know where to go. Let’s get the hell outta here.” He jerked his chin at you and spit, “Lead the way.”

You wiped the initial shock from your system and went into mission-mode, keeping yourself calm and alert. They followed you out of the room, the three of you crouching to avoid being spotted by the new threat through the windows.

Making your way through the anteroom to the office then through the lab as silently and rapidly as possible while crouching. It wasn’t until you reached the x-ray exam room when you were hit in the chin with something hard, knocking you down, dizzy.

Your mind and vision were in a haze but you managed to catch the vague shape of Joel rush somebody, likely the person who knocked you over, through the newly forming tears in your eyes. Fuck , you thought, your face hurting like a bitch.

Ellie yelled something as she went to help Joel, apparently getting the bright idea to take Joel’s machete from his backpack and swinging it wildly at the stranger.

As they fought the man, you shook your head and rose on your haunches, still dizzy. You could make out the faint shape of a second man running up to attack but through your shifting vision, saw three of him. It didn’t stop you from raising one of your dual guns from your thigh holster, taking aim. Breathing in, slowly breathing out, you took the shot when the three men formed a single one.

The loud bang reverberated through the halls, momentarily distracting you from the brawl happening somewhere to your right but soon that silenced.

“What the fuck was that,” you asked nobody in paricular.

“Don’t look like Fireflies to me,” Joel mumbled in reply, hinting you must have been telling the truth.

Together, you all walked down the tarp covered hall from earlier but saw four shapes run past some red smoke on the only way out of the building, likely trying to cut you all off. “Stay back,” Joel said as he flung one of his makeshift bombs at the intruders. After a moment, it went off and sickly screams were either cut short or continued onto a deadly moan.

Each of you hid behind random turned over tables, guns drawn.

Although six of these strangers were down, it seemed there were more as another came in through the right side, taking a shot at Ellie. Joel responded in kind and shot him square in the neck, the blood splattering a nearby wall.

You followed suit and took aim at somebody ducking below a desk much like you. Your aim was a little off because of that damned kick to the head but you got the guy nonetheless. It was messier than you’d like, the newly forming headache was making things much more difficult.

Together with Joel, you took two more men down until you reached the small lobby where the stairs were only to find another flare emitting red smoke. “What the hell,” you wondered aloud.

“Probably to tell the others how to get to where we were, building is like a maze.”

With that, you and Joel look off, making sure to keep Ellie behind you as your group traversed down the steps, finding another flare. Joel heard them before you and raised his gun. You followed as two more men rounded the corner, both being taken down by the bullets you both expelled into their bodies.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears at the adrenaline rushing through your veins, no matter how much you remained focused at the task at hand. You took a breath in an attempt to ground yourself, following Joel closely behind as he was about to round the same corner, stepping over the two dead bodies when you grabbed Joel, pulling him back as a bullet whizzed by. “Fuckin’ hell,” he gasped.

Taking to the wall you peered out and quickly aimed, letting another bullet rain free. It clashed into the wall behind your target, narrowly missing as the man ducked behind the poor choice of the glass railing. Joel put his hand on your waist, pulling you close as he leaned back around taking his chance on the guy. He must have made it count because soon you heard a soft thud of the body collapsing.

If you weren’t so preoccupied trying to stay alive, you might have noticed Joel kept his large hand on you for a few moments longer than necessary.

Joel left the relative safety of the second floor lobby, nearly running to the exit. You grabbed onto Ellie’s hand as you shoved your nearly empty gun into it’s holster on your thigh, following him. He came to the closed door that led to the next area of classrooms to get you all down to the ground floor but just as he went to open it, it banged open from the inside starling all of you. The force was so strong that it pushed Joel to the glass railing behind him, his body teetering over the edge.

“Joel!”

You dropped Ellie’s hand as you ran to him, trying to get the other man off of him as he choked your companion. By the force and chaos, the rail gave way underneath Joel. As he fell, he pulled the stranger with him.

A scream surely left you as you watched in horror as the two men fell to the ground but it grew louder when you noticed a sickening metal bar poking it’s way through Joel’s stomach, staining red in the sunlight. Beside him, the attacker lay dead in a mangled heap of limbs, his neck at an unnatural angle.

You began to shuffle onto your stomach to drop the distance from the balcony walkway to the ground floor, Ellie close behind you copying your maneuver. Together, you both landed on the ground awkwardly and unbalanced. It was so unbelievably impossible to stay focused as you watched Joel writhe in pain from the impalement as loud banging seemed to invade your senses.

Ellie jumped straight to Joel asking in a rushed panic, “What do you want me to do?”

You couldn’t hear what he said when the double doors burst open, two men with a baseball bat and machete appearing. You grabbed both of your guns, unleashing lead into them with a little more force than necessary.

When you turned back around, you saw Ellie trying to lift Joel. “Don’t!”

You ran to him and dropped to your knees, removing your backpack and began to scrounge around for clean gauze. “You’re only going to create more damage, you old bastard. Stay still.”

With the gauze in hand, you motioned for Ellie to put as much pressure as she could on the frontside of the wound. You tried your best not to jolt him around so much as you tried to assess the entry wound on his back, only to find it was buried in cement beneath him. He groaned, calling out a string of curse words.

“Stop fuckin’ movin’, Joel.”

“Wouldn’t need to if you had good bedside manners. Goddamned brat.”

His small jab at you could have made you cry if you weren’t so invested in keeping the old man alive and with no other alternative to removing the rebar safely from him, you had no choice but to lift him away from it.

You reached into your backpack once more and grabbed a strap of leather you usually kept close by, mostly to fiddle with, and shoved it into his mouth. “To keep you from biting off your own tongue,” you explained while adjusting your position to be directly behind his upper body to prepare and stanche the blood flow from his back. “Although I think we could all use the peace and quiet.”

Whatever comeback he had was cut off as he yelled, muted by the bit. While he was distracted by your words, you had nodded to Ellie to lift Joel straight up. He quickly fell to his knees as he tried to stand, probably ready to pass out from the pain and you padded the entry wound with gauze, holding it tightly.

His words came out weak as he told Ellie, “Just get to the damn horses.”

She looked at you and you nodded, removing one hand to give her a gun. “Do whatever it takes, kiddo.”

She walked in front of you both, her arms held high with the gun in her hand, ready to take on anybody else. She led you both to a classroom and knocked over some wood panels that barely covered a broken window.

“Do you think you can handle it,” you asked him.

He didn’t answer, instead choosing to throw his body over the edge, finding himself on his back once more. “Come on, move,” Ellie demanded of him as you jumped through the window after them. Just as she got him sitting up against a table, another man burst through the door across the classroom, gun ready to fire.

Seeing as you were getting rather low on your own bullets, you reached for Joel’s revolver and threw yourself out from behind the lab table, firing two shots and hitting him in the torso.

“Come on, we gotta get you outta here,” you told him. One look at Ellie and you saw her hands and sweater covered in Joel’s blood, you likely looked the same. Brushing those thoughts away, you and her flanked him on either side, trying to walk him out.

“No, I’m okay,” he moaned. Trying to push you both off him.

“Like shit,” Ellie threw back, “You’re not okay, Joel. Now come on! Fucking walk!”

You kept your free hand up, gun drawn, and Ellie matched your pose to his left. “Down this hall,” you directed, “To the left is the main entrance, we can leave through there.”

Don’t die on me now, Joel Miller , you silently wished, hoped, prayed.

Joel began to sway between you two, his feet were failing beneath him. His body in your arms grew heavier and sluggish with each step making it harder to walk straight. You really tried to keep the gauze at his back secure against the wound but it was hard to do that while also trying to keep him balanced. As you were distracted by assessing the man, he moaned out, “Up.”

You and Ellie looked up the stairs that were against the wall in the lobby and saw two men coming towards you all, “There!”

Ellie raised her gun first, taking shots at random and you did too. It was difficult to do while doing everything possible to not drop Joel but somehow, they too, fell dead along the stairs. On his other side, the teen poked at him out of breath, “I swear to god, I get you out of this, you’re so singing for me.”

You decide to jump in on the joke, trying to lighten the mood, “I think you mean ‘for us’, Ellie.”

Joel coughed a laugh, “You wish.”

Slowly the front entrance inched closer. Ellie left to pry it open and let you two through and Joel let go of you, shoving his body and burst through the secondary doors. He lost his balance and fell down the steps only to see as some other hooded figure with his hands on Whiskey and Callus’ reigns.

Before the straggler could even draw a weapon, you and Ellie took shots at him. Joel’s revolver clicked, notifying it was out, just as the man let go of the horses.

You ran to Joel, lifting him up to his feet. He groaned in pain, “I know, I’m sorry. Just a little longer, alright, cowboy?”

He gave you an odd look as Ellie appeared and she asked him, “Can you get on?”

Whether or not he can is entirely different than if he will, you thought. You were proven right as he jumped up on Whiskey, not even noticing he was getting on the wrong horse.

“Ellie, get on Callus,” you told her as you also swung your leg over Whiskey, saddling in front of Joel. “As for you, don’t bleed all over my goddamn horse. Hold tight.”

A part of you was worried that he didn’t even bother to jab, you kicked Whiskey’s underbelly and Joel’s body slouched against your back, passing out. The fact the warmth that seeped through your body was likely his blood was gnawing against the corners of your mind but you shooed the thoughts away. Together with Ellie, you filed out of the university as fast as you could, not looking back.

[sunflower-cathedral]

@g00d-cr1mes-w1th-sc4r ILY /P

WTNV IS ALSO AN OKDISH HYPERFIXATION OF MINE AND IM YEARNING FOR A NEW EP SO I WAS MESSING AROUND ANYWAY PSPSPSPSP DO U HAVE HEADCANONS?? HERES SOME OF MINE:

Carlos & team of scientists thought they were a group of normal humans until 1) they met xisuma who can only breathe pure oxygen (which is deadly to humans hence the mask; he can breathe w/o it but bc it isn't pure oxygen in the atmosphere he struggles with breathing. It's easier to just wear a helmet and filter

2) they met Jevin and Carlos was freaked out to a degree

3) pspspspsspppspsp I hc one of the scientists as lesbisn n she would love Cleo

Cecil shuns them; yknow the usual

Grian tries breaking into the radio station frequently

TFC becomes good friends with the woman who secretly lives in your home

Mumbo "this isn't minecraft what the f-" jumbo

Stress accidentally causes a lot of chaos on a daily basis that xisuma has put her on babysitting; as in Carlos baby sits stress all day since X cant trust anyone else

Tango gets sucked into the smiley God:) team ZIT experiences the whole fuckin RAVE OF THAT RELIGIOUS CULT

False "I think I accidentally killed a... an alive fence? Someone please help" symmetry

[bdoubleowo]

I hope you know I've been opening up the post/comic of mumbo and the accidental bloody nose so many times within the last 12 hours bc I just keep dying every time I see it

There's just something so fuckin funny of the idea like.. he's just messing around and accidentally hurts himself and ppl see blood and immediately thinking "Oh shit he snapped????" I just kdjdJSBSJSNSJSJSN

I’m glad I bring so much joy with a dumb doodle I made in a fervor at like. 11 at night.

Mumbo has a spoon moment and everyone is convinced he’s brimming with bloodlust. It feels on brand.

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 49- The Underground

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block (new computer and I still can’t fuckin at you)

Turns out the hermits aren’t the only ones who wish to get rid of Magistrate Dolios.

____________________________________

Etho drops into the canal below, water rippling without a single drop to disturb the silent cave. Heterochromatic eyes rove across the dark, dank tunnel, waving one hand for the others to follow. Scar comes next, much less gracefully as he misses the last rung and tumbles into the canal with a heavy splash. 

They were beneath the noble district of the city. Grown above the canals like most of Milliara, they built up beyond the lifeblood of Lairyon. Left it behind, to pass through in these underwater canals, until they lead to a fountain, messenger canal, or the rest of the city.

Once Xisuma’s boots are in the water, he sloshes forward without pause. He knows who he saw, he’s just not sure if he believes it. Ex never gets involved with anything. He always waits, watches from the sidelines. When X wanted to fight, it was Ex that stayed behind. When X wanted to be a guild, Ex went on his own. 

He continues on, following the distance sound of scraping and scuffling, harsh against the soft patter of water and trickle of running water. Xisuma rounds the corner, white light reflecting in the distance off the damp walls. He’s so focused on the light at the end he doesn’t notice the movement in the shadows. At least, not until it’s too late. 

A warm hand claps over Xisuma’s mouth, muffling any attempt for him to cry out. Another arm drags him into the darkness, and a wave of fear keeps Xisuma from trying to escape. A warm, low voice growls in his ear, full of menace. “You had your chance, now let the big kids play.” 

“Tris, we’re just supposed to stop the guard, not-” A second, similar voice fractures through the darkness, and Xisuma notices a lock of pink hair, bright against the stone wall. 

“I’m Nightshade!” The one holding Xisuma snaps, loosening his grip on him. “Do you want half the city to know who we are?”

Xisuma manages to wriggle free, and instead the twin faces wrestle each other into the water. Tackling and pulling hair, calling each other names that grow louder and louder. Loud enough for the other hermits to find them. 

Stress realizes who she’s looking at first. “King Sor?” 

“What am I, chopped liver?” one of the two growls, his blue scarf soaked.

“The king?” Tango splutters, snapping his fingers. A flame appears in his hand, and he raises it higher. Sure enough, wrestling in the muck and mud of the swampwater was the King of Lairyon and his twin brother. Yin and yang, dark and light. Their tan skin and rainbow hair- though the king’s much brighter- was instantly recognizable, even if the all white and black suits weren’t enough. 

Grand Advisor Tris, currently holding King Sor in a headlock, glares at the hermits. “Do you mind?” 

“We are in the middle of something.” Sor adds, looking at their audience as he grabs hold of Tris’s fingers and yanks. 

“What are you-” Xisuma starts, confusion clouding his prerogative. Why is the Twin King, monarch of Lairyon, in the canals beneath his own city, tackling his brother and arguing over codenames? Xisuma shakes his head, trying to avoid the fact that he’s standing in front of the king. “Where did he go? My brother?” 

“Where’s Doc?” BDubs adds, bouncing from foot to foot. They have to find their friend. Is he still alive? What do the kings want with a criminal? Why all this, when King Sor has more power than even Dolios? 

“Three lefts then a right, there’s a staircase carved into the wall. It’ll take you to-” Sor has gained the upper hand, sitting on top of Tris, but the advisor isn’t afraid to kick his brother into silence. 

“You are, by far, the worst spy ever.” Tris hisses, but the hermits leave the twins to their squabble in the sewer. Following Sor’s directions, they wind through the secret caves, Tango, Grian, Ren, and Iskall illuminating the darkness. Jevin can’t help but think about when they first began this journey, way back in Gildara. How they wandered dark, wet caves like this. Only to become enraptured into something so much bigger than they could ever have known. 

But rather than a corrupted crystal at the end of this dive, they find the carved steps Sor had mentioned. 

They also find the trail of blood up the rough hewn stairs. Every step up is slick with the ochre, a different size and shape from the one before. At the top of the stairs, a hatch remains closed. Xisuma presses up against the metal hatch, but finds it too heavy to lift. Looking up, he notices a symbol burnt into the metal. 

Ex still uses their shared mark. Even after their estrangement, the swirl and the star remain easily visible. Not like how Xisuma scratched it off everything he owned. “It’s blocked. Stress?” 

“Not a problem, dearie.” The ice mage squeezes her small, limber body between Xisuma and TFC, rolling up her sleeves. Without even breaking a sweat, she forces the hatch open. Light blinds them for a second time, though this much softer than before. Lamplight, enough to illuminate the wooden building, but still soft enough to cast shadow. A chest full of books has been tossed aside, the rug covering the hidden hatch flipped over. 

The hermits crawl out, like an army of ants from the seams in the wood, filling the small bookstore. Ex’s arrival surprises no one, and neither does the twenty something mages in his bookshop. The twin brother of Xisuma looks up, purple eyes meeting the hermits. A lock of pure white hair covers over one eye, and the red fabric of the cloak covers Ex from the nose down. But even with his face covered, the hermits can see the discontent in his expression. 

“He’s in the back. I’d… I’d be prepared.” Ex’s voice remains low and tempered, a bit deeper than Xisuma’s own. He turns away, running fingers across the shelves of books around him, before pulling free an encyclopedia of medicines. 

Scar doesn’t wait, bursting through the curtain into Ex’s living quarters. He follows the trail of ash and blood, until he stops dead. The other hermits crowd in behind him, desperate to see their friend. For a week, he’s been in jail. Just being able to be in the same room was a blessing.

Doc was rested on a cot, bandages covering his legs, his arms, his chest, his face. Blackened skin beneath white gauze. He lays still, eyes closed, clothes in burnt tatters. For a minute, everyone holds their breath, waiting to see Doc breathe his own. When a shallow rise of his chest, followed by whisper of an exhale, escapes from the puppeteer, relief floods the hermits. 

Doc is alive. Hanging on by a thread, but alive. Scar grabs Grian, yanking him to the front and shoving him into the room. “Fix him!” 

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Grian may be rivals with Doc, but they’re still friends. Family. He walks across the silent room, each step a loud creak through the wooden building. The hermits follow in after, a concave audience watching, hoping for a miracle. 

Grian’s eyes begin to glow, and another set of wings appear from his back, and another. A halo rings above Grian’s blond hair, sharp shafts of light piercing the air around him. The archangel kneels beside Doc, lost in the overwhelming power of his magic. A mere pass of his hand over the unconscious criminal begins to heal him. An angelic miracle, Grian simply brushes a wing, and it eases the blackened burns across their friend. 

Doc’s breathing deepens, though he doesn’t wake. Brought back from the brink, from the precipice of death. Mumbo carefully sidles up beside Grian, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Grian, you can let go of your aura.” 

The soothing voice does the trick, as light fades and wings disappear. Grian’s exhausted but forces the glow and sleep from his eyes to see his success. Doc was alive. Doc was stable. 

Doc was safe, with his family again. 

Ex appears in the doorway, hands full of books, potions, herbs, and crystals. But when he sees his patient, no longer bleeding out and struggling to hang on for dear life. He looks at Doc, then Grian, then Xisuma. Dropping his armful of supplies, he waves his hand. “You really have one of everything, don’t you?” 

Xisuma takes a deep breath. He hasn’t spoken a word to Ex in years. What does he say, after so long? What does he tell him, or yell at him, or cry to him? But only one word manages to escape from X’s lips, through his mask. “Thanks.” 

The word surprises both twins, blinking back in surprise. Ex’s lips press into a thin line, and he turns his head away. A white ponytail of hair cascades over his shoulder. “Never say I didn’t do anything for you, brother.” 

“Xisuma, this is your brother?” Keralis questions. They were almost identical twins, in fact. From the structure of their face, the intensity in their eyes. The only difference between the two was Ex’s snow white hair. Hell, they even had them both in ponytails. 

“If he still considers me a brother.” Ex snips, picking up the mess on the floor and carefully placing the books in a stack. 

“I thought you said getting into things would only lead to trouble.” Xisuma looks down at his friend, then to Ex. 

“And by the looks of it, I was right.” 

“But you saved Doc. You used your magic in front of half the city, to save him from burning at the stake.” Xisuma shakes his head, still in disbelief. “Why?” 

Ex stops moving, going silent. His shoulder tense forward, until his head drops. “Because he means so much to you. You may not consider me a brother, but I still care about you. Whether or not this disaster could have been avoided, we’re all in on it now.” 

“We?” Cub picks up on Ex’s words, raising an eyebrow. Of course, there were the royals, but he also remembers the water magic appearing from nowhere, the cactus growing from the woodwork, the black wings in the smoke. 

Ex snorts. “What, you think you guys have been this lucky the whole time? That it was only you idiots taking on the magistrate?” 

He turns, walking out of the room. Assuming the hermits will follow. He assumed correctly. Only a few stay behind to keep watch over Doc, the others squeezing through the aged wooden shop, up the rickety stairs and into a dining room. 

They aren’t alone. Inside, three people are sitting. One with short brown hair, cropped to the side and laying on the top of the table, earthy colored clothes and scarves wrapped around her. Sitting crosslegged in the seat is a small kipling, rocking in place with curious eyes as he looks upon the large group entering into Ex’s study. Finned ears flick against black and orange locks, a slight glow appearing under the kipling’s clothes in the dark room. And in the corner, perched on the flat booth’s backrest, a blonde mane drapes around a serious face, and a pair of jet black wings rustle against the wooden walls. 

The last faces they expected to see were those of the Wanderers.

“Red? Ecto?” Zedaph tips his head to the side, surprised. The last time they saw the three of them, it was before the labyrinth challenge. When the hermits celebrated with Team Crafted, they had already left. Disappeared just as fast as they appeared. And now, they’ve reappeared. Sitting in the middle of Ex’s kitchen, sipping on tea. As comfortable there as they were in that ratty old inn. ‘How do you guys know Xisuma’s brother?”

“It was you three who rescued Doc.” Scar whispers, his voice soft and almost reverent. Water, desert, and dragon. 

“Ex approached us while you and Team Crafted were within the labyrinth. He told us about things we already had suspicion of, but no connected dots.” Avon tips her head back, looking down her nose at the hermits. “We decided the best way we could help Lairyon was to cause as much nuisance to the magistrate as possible, as well as handle certain missions.” 

“This entire time, you were helping us?” Xisuma turns, looking at his brother. They’re the exact same height, purple eyes locked in some years long argument.

Ex snorts. “What, you think you idiots did that all on your own? But it wasn’t just the wanderers that have been helping. Team Crafted has had their hand in this underground rebellion as well. Turns out, they make a lot of trouble all over the place for the arcane guard to deal with, as well as encourage people to tell their stories and speak out against the magistrate.” 

“But then that leaves…” Mumbo trails off, and he turns around at the sound of bickering behind them. Sure enough, the twin rulers are still arguing over their codenames. Mumbo bows, his hands shaking as he remembers all the rules he was taught when in presence of the king. 

King Sor presses one hand over his twin’s mouth to shut him up, and uses the other to wave off Mumbo’s bow. “Please, there’s no-” Sor’s interrupted when Tris retaliates, licking his hand. The king curses, rubbing the spit on his white outfit. “You’re disgusting, brother.” 

“Go on, finish the story. Don’t forget to tell them who’s idea it was to reach out to the mysterious white haired man with connections to Eremita.” Tris scoots in beside Red, and Ecto pours tea for the royal advisor. 

“It was Tris’s idea to contact Ex. I honestly don’t know how he found out about him, but he’s been the conductor of it all. We help fund in any way we can, and he does the research before sending the wanderers and Team Crafted to play support roles.” King Sor doesn’t look like the man the hermits are used to seeing. The king, the ruler of Lairyon. He’s thriving with people, just another person, another friend. 

“But...you’re the king. Why can’t you just depose of Dolios?” Beef questions, the confusion in his voice matched by all of the hermits. Only Ex and the wanderers act as if this was evident. 

They expected Sor to answer, being the king, but with a loud crash of a metal teacup against the wooden table, all attention is turned to Tris. “That monster, that....bastard has been using us all against Sor. Especially me.” Tris grits his teeth hard, jaw tight and set. “You’re too damn soft, Sor.” 

“Soft?! Tris, he was going to kill you!” Sor gasps, tears beginning to streak from teal eyes, across tanned cheeks. His breath hiccups and catches in his throat. “Dolios made sure he had control over everything, including me. In order to do that, he… he tortured Tris. My brother. Threatened both our families. Hurt our closest friends in the royal guard. Sometimes… I had no choice but to let it happen. The things he would have done to the kingdom were so much worse but...at what cost? Did I make the right decision, letting him do that to my own brother?” 

Sor’s knees fall out from under him, and in the aged wooden floor of a bookstore, the King of Lairyon is brought to kneel. Tears fall, all he’s been forced to endure breaking down. And the hermits, despite hardly knowing King Sor, understand and sympathize with him all the same. His family is at risk, the same way their own is. Dolios will stop at nothing to tear both families apart, all for his gain and rise to power. 

Red clambers over Tris’s lap, breaking every taboo and rite to approach the king. She runs over, and hugs the king tight and close. A warm hug, like a mother’s embrace, just enough to calm down the monarch. Such a young man, forced to make so many horrible decisions. After a moment, the king recollects himself. Through puffy, tearstained eyes, he looks to the hermits. “Lairyon needs a hero. There are no chosen ones, there is no prophecy. No knights in shining armor, no kings and our awesome power. This time, the heroes need to be made. And you, the Order of Hermits, were the brave souls to choose to be heroes.” 

“Dolios is using his darkness to gain power. After what you dealt with, we were sure you’d give up.” Tris adds, standing and placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Now, the scars on the royal advisor’s body are clear as day. “But you really are the heroes that will bring back the Light of Lairyon.” 

Silence falls over the room. The hermits, heroes? Just for wanting to help, to do what no one else knew to do? They were caught up in all of this, and multiple times death waited to claim them- if Dolios had his way. They weren’t heroes, just people who chose to fight back. Who chose to make the stand. 

“Dark magic isn’t new.” Ex breaks the silence, hefting a massive, ancient book onto the table. The wood rocks, dumping Avon off it and into Ecto’s lap. “There have been insurgences all throughout history, though the past thousand years have been relatively quiet. Unfortunately about that, almost all information how the dark magic was defeated has been… lost to time. To make matters worse, no reported insurgence has ever been so prolific as this time around.” 

“Alright, how does this help with anything?” Xisuma rolls his eyes. His brother always has such a flair for the dramatics, always getting way too deep into history and his books. Next to the massive tome that Ex is flipping through, Avon stops pestering Ecto. She goes still, even when the desert wizard dumps her onto the floor. A look of fear spreads from her eyes, rippling like a drop of water across a lake. 

“Well, if this happened before with the ancient ones, then it’s likely the answer may lie with the history of Lairyon itself. Perhaps if you-” Ex is interrupted when a massive black pair of wings extends, one smacking him in the face. 

“The spirit dragons are in danger.”

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

i dont know much about vp, tell me whats it about im curious

It’s honestly just a simple gardening game with you basically trying to meet the requirements to get pinatas to stay in your garden! But it has lots of neat characters that I care greatly. You can also give your pinatas accessories and I love getting them scarves and bell collars.Five (six?) of those being the main family that you see the most of!

The siblings are Leafos, Seedos, Storkos, and Stardos, with their parents being Mother and Jardiniero.

Leafos is the first one you meet, and the second oldest sibling. As you walk down the path into your new garden and find her crying and the garden is just. Garbage. It’s all cracked soil, it’s small, and there’s trash everywhere and in the ground. She talks to you, tells you how to play, gives you your tools, and you fix up the garden for your first piñatas! From there, she usually walks around the garden and you can talk to her and she either gives tips, false tips, rumors, or her family. She also introduces new pinatas and alerts you if anything is going on. In Trouble in Paradise, she’ll occasionally scold pinatas. She lives right by the garden.

Storkos is the next one, and she’s the third oldest. She gave herself the role of delivering eggs to pinatas who have romanced and sees her self as superhero. She lives in Egg Mountain.

Sidos, aka Seedos is the youngest, and he’s usually walking around the garden, checking out plants. If you talk to him, he gives you a seed or two. If you want more, you CAN beat it out of him with a shovel but you will regret it if you continue cause he will throw sour seeds into your garden like fuckin crazy and they’re a pain to get out and a lot of money to fix if your pinatas get sick. You can also see him walking around the garden getting seeds! He also likes shellybeans and has a family of them :) he lives in the Swamp, that’s really close to the garden.

Then Stardos, aka Dastardos. Oldest of the siblings, and pretty depressing. His role makes the games way more tense than you would think. If a piñata get sick, and you wait a little too long he comes in and fixes it. By bashing the piñata. He just kills them and they respawn outside the garden borders as a nonresident piñata since it’s how pinatas work. In TIP, if you bash someone with a shovel while he’s in the garden he laughs at them. He also sings while he’s going to a piñata, and in his journal description it says it’s to keep the piñata from panicking. Also scared of Mumbo Jumbo from Banjo Kazooie. Also nobody recognizes him, but Jardiniero can tell he’s familiar.

Jardiniero is the father of these four, with his wife Mother who you don’t meet in the game. He gives you shovel upgrades, garden space, insults you as you level up, and tells you when you get a new piece from the Tower of Sour. Also in a wheelchair.

So that’s how they are in game, but then there’s the storybook! It basically goes over what happened and how the garden got fuckin destroyed.

Jardiniero met Mother before Piñata Central became a thing, and Mother basically captained a trade ship for Piñata Island, trading pinatas and other stuff. They loved eachother and eventually decided to have children.

So Stardos was the first, having a natural talent for gardening and helping around the garden when he could. Then Leafos, who’s also pretty good at gardening but would also draw pinatas and environments in her diary, and Jardiniero got impressed and made it into the Journal. Storkos was next, being born overseas and spending a lot of time with Mother. She was obsessed with superheroes, and during an egg crisis with pinatas, helped out and made that her role. Then Sidos! Sidos was very young when he also had the talent for gardening! He figured out how to romance his shellybeans when he was young af (I’m sorry but it’s so funny to me).

So during all this time, Jardiniero had a helper called Lester who was sketchy af. It wasn’t until Jardiniero found him messing with candy that he kicked him off, basically making Stardos replace him. Lester fuckin hated that, so when he noticed Jardiniero getting upset over how he couldn’t catch a Dragonache, he decided to “help” by giving him a map with an island and saying there was someone there who could help. Jardiniero took it, leaving with Mother and leaving Stardos in charge of his siblings and the garden.

Things obviously don’t go to well. A wave fuckin destroys the boat just when they reach the island, and Mother gets swept away in the waves. Jardiniero remains optimistic, adamant that she’s just having adventures and is too busy to come back (which just makes me sad). Also in the crash his legs get paralyzed so he has to literally crawl to the middle of the island to find someone, who tells him he’s been tricked and doesn’t even let him leave until later.

Meanwhile, Lester tells Stardos about a candy thats essentially a shortcut for getting piñata to residents, and Stardos, knowing he was a helper in the garden, and probably wanting to make his dad proud, trusts him and goes with him. Lester even goes as far to say that if Stardos doesn’t believe him, he can try it himself. Which he sadly does, since that candy turns out to be sour candy.

Jardiniero eventually comes back (after the person on the island finally let him go and ditched him so Jardiniero had to build a fuckin wheelchair from scrap just to get to his kids), and finds the garden destroyed, Sidos gone, Stardos gone, and Leafos in the house hiding. Turns out, once Stardos was gone, ruffians came into the garden (basically Lester’s minions) and destroyed it, and keep in mind, this garden was a major part of these kids’ childhoods. Sidos, who is still VERY young, flees to the Swamp since that’s where his shellybeans went and doesn’t leave. He even starts to think of them as more than a family that his actual one, and since shellybeans love seeds so much he starts to as well.

And then later you step in and bring the garden back! I really find this lore neat and this ain’t even mentioning the village characters (Patchingo, my beloved <3)

I honestly can’t think of a decent way to end this so yeah end of infodump if there’s anything else youre curious about please ask cause I’ll gladly tell

[noonmutter]

Adventures in D&D part 6

- Party just woke up for the day and is headed out to the temple of Gond because they helped get a special material component for a new kind of weapon, and they want to witness the testing

- Right when they get there a dude in a cloak on horseback t-bones the paladin and party cleric says “HE’S GOT BLUEPRINTS”

- Paladin goes tearing off after him because paladin is a paladin of Gond and boy is she pissed off

- I go “can I cast Hold Person” because range is a thing and I genuinely don’t know how far away dude is yet

- DM says “...yes” after grumbling that he hasn’t statted anything out for the NPC

- Turns out this was supposed to be largely cinematic and my crowd-controlling ass just totally screwed that over but in my defense I asked and the DM said yes so really him bothering to roll a wisdom stat for the NPC and getting a 3 is his fault not mine

- Naturally the NPC fails the save and falls off the horse the instant it changes direction

- Commence the befuckening once party caught up with him, initiatives are rolled

- DM laughs triumphantly and says “He nat 20′d! He’s up!”

- Two more party members have their turns

- Mine’s up

- “I cast hold person again”

- “...you asshole”

- Fight ends very shortly after that because the party isn’t willing to totally murder the dude while he’s paralyzed

- They start interrogating him on the street

- He breaks the hold person again but whoop-de-doo he’s surrounded and on the ground

- Eventually starts messing about with a poison tooth

- Other party members go to stop him

- I go “Hey DM?”

- “...yes?”

- “I cast Hold Person again.”

- Long silence

- DM’s mic is open and we all hear thumping, I assume either his head or his hand beating his desk, and he eventually posts a screenshot of the NPC’s roll

- Even at advantage, he rolled a 1 both times

(I’m pretty sure this was the moment where I could officially call myself a Real Bard)

- “I fucking hate you”

- “YOU COULD’VE SAID NO AT ANY TIME”

- Anyway brosef is a prisoner of the Temple of Gond now and the DM is grumbling that as “punishment” we don’t get to see a really cool thing happen when the dude made his escape, to which I keep reminding him he allowed me to fuck up his plan and he can’t be mad at us for it

- Cleric casts zone of truth on the prisoner. It manages to affect two party members--Dumat included--and nobody else. Dumat knows this and sits down to hold his mouth shut and sulk

- Cleric then leaves the temple because he’s pretty sure the party’s going to torture the prisoner and he can’t participate or witness it but he doesn’t see an alternative

- By the way it’s important to mention that Dumat got ahold of Yeehaw’s Rootie Tootie Point n’ Shooty a while ago, which is a crossbow with a special ability that functionally allows him to shotgun a cone with it, but also is cursed and causes the user to grow a mullet, speak in a southern drawl, and not be able to put the crossbow down

- This was a funny gimmick for about 20 minutes before Sage Got Bored and started adding rules (after running them by the DM first)--like having to roll wisdom saves to not engage in “Hold My Beer” moments

- He has several saves to make before and during the interrogation of their prisoner

- He succeeds beautifully at all of them which is frustrating the shit out of me and the DM

- When he finally starts failing them, it’s a fuckin’ cascade of failures that result in things like shooting the restrained prisoner in the foot and then twisting the crossbow bolt around while saying shit like “Right about now I’d be tellin’ ya ta dance, but, well, that ain’t gonna work out so hot is it?” and responding to ‘I don’t fear death’ with “Well then we’ll just have to make sure y’don’t die now, won’t we?,” shooting at the Paladin--and later the cleric--when they say they should get that crossbow away from him, and shooting at the cleric because he’s being boring while reading from a holy book

- Eventually, during the torture parts, the cleric and paladin realize at about the same time that Dumat is not actually insane (the paladin remembered at the last minute that Zone of Truth was on Dumat and he wasn’t lying about the shit he was saying to this poor bastard, the cleric was just super upset by all the screaming) but is in fact possessed

- While the Paladin and Cleric are figuring out how to fix this, I go to the DM and say: “I demand that one of them be forced to a showdown in order to break the curse properly, in the "high noon" sense, Ready? DRAW! That”

- DM is On Fucking Board for this, party starts doing exorcism mumbo-jumbo, eventually Dumat’s bound body drops the crossbow and a smoky hand crawls out of it, eventually forming into the ghostly shape of a motherfucking cowboy followed by ethereal whistling of the intro notes for The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly theme

- I exclaim in voice chat OH MY GOD I HAVE ART FOR THIS and go digging through my old drawings, then produce:

- Voiced by me doing my best Frank Welker impression in a cowboy drawl, Original Character Do Not Steal (seriously though Buck is mine and I drew this in 2005, as the signature says)

- First time I open my mouth another party member goes “holy shit” and I feel warm inside

- The party actually tries to convince him to work for them and offers to let him take the body of the prisoner instead and offers him gold and stuff, to which he responds kinda like Izzy from The Mummy: 2, all “d’you think I can walk into a store and buy shit?”

- A conversation between the cleric (who insults his hat and has talking privileges revoked), paladin, and the demon who introduces himself as Buck eventually comes down to him proposing a duel for ownership of Dumat’s body, and the party rogue--who’s only been with the party for like two ingame days at this point--cheerfully agrees to be their shooter

- Back-to-back, ten paces, turn, fire (contested attack rolls)

- Duel ends like this:

"As Conny turns and fires, so does Buck. Time stands still--literally--as the twang of two crossbows fills the hall. For a moment, there's a faint ethereal sheen over Buck's crossbow, some kind of metallic cylinder. And the twang is not a twang, but a CRACK. Buck stands tall, longcoat whipping gently in a nonexistent breeze... as Conny feels a bolt enter her shoulder."

- Victorious, Buck turns to take Dumat and Shit Goes Down as the cleric steps in and casts spiritual guardians and good fucking christ this party is lucky they had two holy types who could do radiant damage because he takes a beating before he goes down

- Last thing he says before he dissipates into the ether is directed to the rogue (Conny), the paladin, and the wizard (the firebug): “See you in hell, little girls--wear somethin’ nasty”

- Crossbow drops to the ground and turns black like it’s been set on fire and allowed to cool, is promptly picked up by some acolytes with pole-hooks and put into a heavy box that the paladin is keeping close by

- I drink more fluids than you can possibly imagine for roughly an hour and a half and DMed a whole scenario because I thought it’d be cool

- I accidentally a Recurring Villain

- yay but what have i done

[littlemissvincentvega]

“You’re awfully cute when you’re not talkin’,” Mr. Blonde says, pushing his plate away from him, leaning back in his seat and popping a cigarette in his mouth.

Eddie chuckles. “You see that, Daddy? He’s tryna get in my pants!” You slap his arm jokingly, and Joe rolls his eyes.

Earlier that morning, Eddie had practically begged you to join him for breakfast with the guys - “C’mon, baby, I gotta show you off!” - and you had reluctantly agreed on the premise that he would take you out for a romantic dinner that week. 

“You sure these two aren’t bangin’?” Pink asks you, smirking at Vic.

“Wouldn’t surprise me... Ed’s probably using me as a cover up,” you smile. Charmed by your wit, he slings an arm around you and kisses your temple in front of everyone. “Eddie!” you protest, embarrassed.

“He couldn’t land me in a thousand years,” Vic snickers, blowing smoke from his nostrils.

“Nobody’s landin’ anyone. Enough’a this mumbo jumbo,” Joe grunts.

Trying to break the tension, Pink speaks up. “We leavin’ yet? It’s gettin’ stuffy in here.”

“I’m not done yet!” Brown whines, hastily stuffing a whole pancake in his mouth - you and the other guys just sit there watching him and exchanging disconcerted looks. He doesn’t even notice, but looks up as you begin to giggle. “What’s so funny?” he asks, his mouth still full, bits of pancake spraying everywhere.

“Have you ever heard,” begins Pink, wiping a bit of pancake off of his cheek, “of chewin’ with your fuckin’ mouth closed?”

“I am!”

“Oh, for Chrissakes,” you hear Joe mumble, and he stomps off to the bathroom in a huff.

Feeling slightly bad for Joe, you stand up and begin piling some of the plates up to make it easier for the waitress, and Mr. White joins in. Joe’s bad moods were pretty commonplace to say the least, and although it was never because of you, you always felt the urge to stay on his good side.

Upon seeing White helping, Orange steps up and the three of you do a fairly adequate job of tidying up the table - White even wiped up the remainder of the bits of pancake, which you didn’t ever plan on doing.

“You’re good at this, baby,” says Eddie, glancing at your ass before you sit down again. “You could be a waitress, you know.”

“I’m good at putting a plate on another plate? Thanks, that makes me sound real smart,” you frown. He grabs your hand and laces his fingers between yours. “Besides, I don’t need a job, I have you.”

“Is that why you’re with him, honey? Cha-ching?” Vic snickers, rubbing his fingers together.

“Of course not!” Eddie protests. “Right?”

You grin. “Not just for your money, babe.”

“Very funny.”

You smile at Joe as he comes back to the table, not looking any less grumpy than before. “I think we oughta get (Y/N) a job here, Daddy,” says Eddie, kissing your hand as you throw a vexed look at him. Joe, ignoring him, takes his seat and lights a cigarette.

“We goin’ then, Joe?” Pink asks.

“We’ll go when I say,” Joe grunts. “you fuckin’ guys wanna act like fourth graders, I’ll treat you like it.” He turns to look at you. “Except you, you’re the only one around here that acts your age.”

You smile at him. “Thanks, Joe.” He gives a half smile at you and quietly continues smoking.

“So, uh, Eddie treatin’ you well?” asks Vic, eyes darting from you to your boyfriend.

“No, he called me a motherfucker last night,” you reply.

He tuts. “That ain’t very polite.”

“Hold up, hold up!” Eddie protests, hands in the air. The other guys look at him, wholeheartedly amused. “Backstory - she said she thought Elvis was hotter than me, what else was I supposed to say?” 

“It’s true, he is hotter than you, Edward,” titters Vic, and you giggle at him. Smirking, Eddie grabs a spoon and uses it to fling some scrambled eggs at his friend, which the guys find pretty entertaining-- except Joe. At the end of his tether, he abruptly stands up, eyeing everyone.

“That’s it, I’ve had enough, we’re goin’,” he snaps. “I suggest you adjust your fuckin’ attitudes before we get back or you’ll all be beggin’ for mercy.” Giving the guys a final look of annoyance, Joe stubs out his cigarette and marches out the door.

“You know, I can see why he gets frustrated,” you remark.

Pink scoffs. “It’s not us, he needs to chill the fuck out.”

“Hey, don’t fuckin’ insult my dad like that,” growls Eddie. “He’s right, though, he does need to chill out.”

Defeated, Mr. Pink looks across at Brown. “Are you done now?”

Brown nods. “Fuckin’ finally,” mutters Pink, “can we go?”

“Give it a few minutes,” says Eddie, “for him to calm down.”

“You know, he wouldn’t have to calm down in the first place if you guys didn’t act like fucking idiots all the time,” you retort.

Your boyfriend looks at you and slings an arm around you, squeezing you into his shoulder. “You love this fucking idiot, though.”

“Eddie, you’re embarrassing me, stop!” you hiss, pawing and slapping at his hands. “You’re messing my hair up!”

“Wouldn’t be the first time, baby, you know that!”

He lets go, smirking at you. “That’s it,” you huff, “I’m going!” You get up, grab your handbag and strut out, Eddie sitting there with his tail between his legs.

“You’ve fucked it there, man,” Orange chuckles.

Eddie sighs, watching your hips wiggle side to side through the window. “Now I’m definitely not gettin’ head tonight.”

[stark-barness]

Headcanons for the losers club (2017)watching their movie. Like one of those fic were the characters wake up in a room an watch their movie and communicate with the writer.

i lived, bitch

- richie tozier would point out Everything

“i remember that day when eddie wore those stupid shorts. they were pink-ish, though, not as red. he still looked good.”

“stan looks good on film. what kind of fuckin witchcraft?”

“this film didn’t catch the essence of that clown dick being a pussy ass fucking bitch. and he was smaller. why is he so tall?”

“i was a badass, yes. i saved us all. eddie swooned but he denies it. i could bet you my left ballsack even mike has a crush on me now.”

“stanley! you didn’t tell me the lady from the painting was smokin’.”

“i thought that the cliff scene would look hot but we all look like soggy fuckin twinkies.”

“see i told you stan we didnt leave you behind, there was some mystic mumbo jumbo switcharoo shit that happened.”

“WE’RE TOO SAPPY.”

“damn that scene with mike and the gun thingy looked so fucking rad.”

- tozier: voted most likely to fuck stephen king up.

- mike will get an armful of screaming richie tozier

- mike: voted most likely to sit between richie and bill in order to stop richie from attacking bill

- mike: voted Quietest Movie-Goer

- ben would probably be haunted by the fact that pennywise called him “egg boy.”

- beverly, “ben i imagined the poem writing to be more…….. emotional.”

“what did you expect? NSYNC blasting in the background?”

“yes, actually.”

- stan would be pissed again that his shithead friends dragged him into this mess.

- 10/10 would never listen to bill denbrough again

- bill would probably be guilty. and would tap out at georgie’s death scene. then will come back. and will continue to feel guilty.

- eddie would be grossly intrigued. he imagined everything so vividly and now it’s on film. what the Fuck and now he has Murderous Intent towards Bowers and the Gang (moreso than he already has)

- eddie kaspbrak: voted most likely to Fuck Greta Up

- he doesnt tell anyone this but richie was really brave. if he felt safe with him before well now he’s 10x feelin safer

- bill was a real fuckin asshole. but he meant well.

- stan will snort at richie gettin beaned by that rock at the Rock War scene.

- beverly, “i get it my dad’s a dick and i wish i had more screentime of kicking his ass.”

- stan uris: voted most likely to throw a shoe at the screen

[uptheante-openhanded]

More trouble than you’re worth.

Ace walked around the campfire aimlessly waiting for anyone to come back or for him to be put into trial. He kicked up leaves and then lit a cigarette immediately tossing it in the fire. He’d gotten rid of that habit long, long ago. He kept a cig around for Bill, which Bill didn’t like Ace’s menthol filters so whatever. He tossed them into the fire as sort of a sass or hostile act towards the entity.

He hears embers behind him turning to welcome the person back. Instead of a familiar face it was one he’d never seen, but felt familiar. “Bonjour, and welcome to hell.” He gives the woman a slightly confused look as she all to comfortably steps over and touches his face. He gives a confused look then it dawns on him. Seeing her face up close. The diamond tattoo by her ear the green on her tongue. “You’re... Me?” Ace gives quite the look to her.

“Oui, Bonjour Monsieur. Je m'appelle Diamond, comment vous appelez-vous?” Ace realized why people say french sounds so nice. Her voice especially complimented the language. Does that mean his did too?

“Enchanté, c'est Ace. Connaissez-vous Nye?” She decided the same of his voice hearing him speak full french. She was quite surprised he knew Nye.

“Yes, I do know Nye, How do you?” She questioned switching to English just to see if he could keep up with the language change. She wanted to know how much alike her she was. “Ace is an interesting name.” She gave a cocky grin.

“I know him because he’s here, but in trial. I like my name thank you very much.” He raised a brow. “Like Diamond is any more classy?” He returned the grin.

“Well ‘ts not more classy, but at least I wear nice clothes.” She knew he could take it is she could. She wasn’t easy to break. “You got the symbol too then?”

“Yea i got it. I also do own nice clothes, but i go outta my way to save my own and you don’t have a scratch on ya.” He saw the probability on her. She was what he used to be. He was gonna teach her real quick where that got him if she didn’t catch on to quick.

“Like i need a team. You don’t need anyone. Just loot a chest give them the styptic purple med-kit and be on yer way.” She was very aware he wasn’t like her. She wanted to convert Ace to her ways and he wanted the opposite.

“Sorry hun, I ain’t like that. An’ I’d like if while you’re on this side of things that you’d be more like me. Ya don’t have to but it’d be nice.” He honestly wanted to sock her in the face knowing her answer was beyond no the second he said it.

“I think not. I have much more fun dickin’ around and usin’ my charm to get me outta trouble when I gotta.” She smiled as he turned away from her.

“Good luck with that, your probability’s gonna bite ya in the butt one day ya know.” He put his hands in his pockets glancing back at her.

“You think so?” She started messing with him. “I think you’ll act like me and like it just fine.” He immediately fell into her trance. Taking the same cocky ‘i do what i want’ posture she had.

“I... Don’t... Need...” He blacked out awaking with Bill pushing him to the ground.

“Wha- The hell happened?” He looked around confused “Wheres that Chienne Diamond?!” He stood back up angered.

“I ain’t sure what happened but you were fuckin’ with people’s minds, you’re better than that soldier.” Bill scowled at him.

“It wasn’t me cher! That chienne Diamond, my counterpart from nye’s world fucked with MY mind. Guess you woke me up...” He said as Diamond walked up behind him, shoving him into Bill.

“You know you want him Ace” She made Bill hold Ace lovingly.

“I Ain’t wantin’ somethin’ fake like that. I want real people with real feelings. I don’t care if i feel for him, I want friendship more than i want some lovey-dovey mumbo-jumbo.” Ace forced the probability increase off Bill. Turning aggressively towards Diamond. “Its either straighten up or square up, cause I ain’t puttin’ up with your horse-shit.” He didn’t mean to quote Bill. It felt right in the moment and she laughed.

“You’re basically obsessed with him, i can tell by your usein’ his style of talkin’!” She laughed as Ace stepped towards her.

“Don’ matter what I am, chienne, he’s my friend and I ain’t gonna let you mess that up. Straighten up!” He snapped at her, making it clear he wasn’t playing around.

“Feh, You’re no fun Acey-wacy. At least I get some.” She winked and turned away.

“Get some, sure, but it’ll never be real. What i got is real friends. I dare ya to turn all your probability off. See who still hangs around. Cause when mines off, people care. More than they do when its on.” He gave a confident nod as she continued leaving. He turned around to see Bill with the cockiest grin on his face.

“Now that’s what I’d call respectable son.” Bill nodded lighting a new cigarette.

“Thanks. That’s all I’m tryin’ to be.” Ace rested his back against a tree. “I have all probability set at what it is now. Things should change naturally and she shouldn’t be able to try that shit again.” He exhaled letting the stress escape him.

[midoridragonuus]

< previous | compendium | next >

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from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: maeharamahouji subject: hey

hey gabe can you log into siims? thanks

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

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from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: hey

hey elliepop! u ok??? this doesnt sound like one of ur usual mails dont think ive ever seen u write wo grammar n punctuation also y cc that guy

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

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from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: FWD: RE: hey

ellie? gurl whats ^ reply soon i miss u

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

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from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: FWD: FWD: RE: hey

ok ok ill be right on dont b mad at me ily

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

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gabe69 has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: hello??? anyone here?? woo hoo????

schwartzellie has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: ellie! hey honeybuns. ive missed u whats ^

gabe69: ellie?

maeharamahouji has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: whats going on here

maeharamahouji has uploaded a file: sserver470.exe

maeharamahouji: hey gabe. can you test this for me? thanks. send me a report when you're done.

gabe69: what

maeharamahouji has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: whats going on

gabe69: ellie cmon what the hell

schwartzellie: Click the file, stupid.

schwartzellie has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: fuck

gabe69 has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

- x -

> initializing sserver470.exe > protocol and logs will be erased upon exit > "hope it helps. - m."

gabe69 has signed into SSERVER470

gabe69: what is this place?

schwartzellie: Oh thank the Gods.

gabe69: elliepop? what the entire fuck is going on?????

schwartzellie: Look. I couldn't talk to you sooner. I wanted to. I really did. I couldn't... I was afraid to contact you.

gabe69: what? y? whats wrong with me? hon if u didnt want a follow up

schwartzellie: It's not you. It's who's listening. I'm pretty sure my office is bugged. My phone is too. I've had to be really careful with what I say in case it's distorted. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

gabe69: ellie i dont get what ur saying can u start at the top?

schwartzellie: Okay. Okay. Do you remember a few weeks ago when Carlos interrupted our dinner and told me it was an emergency?

gabe69: vaguely. i remember his smug ass ruining a nite w ur beautiful face ♥♥♥

schwartzellie: Right so, I went with him. He was silent through the whole walk to the archives.

gabe69: the archives?

schwartzellie: Yeah. Where we keep files on literally everyone and everything. You know. Contracts. Secret info? Well, we got stopped by security, so I know there's at least one witness out there that knows we entered the archives; that the whole thing really took place.

gabe69: what do u mean "took place" ???

schwartzellie: Shut up and let me type!

gabe69: k

schwartzellie: So we entered, and we walked into the middle of the room. I'm not sure if it was the exact middle or anything, but that's what it felt like neck deep in the rows of file cabinets and servers. Anyway, the archives are heavily guarded. I'm pretty shocked he had clearance but in hindsight, but also? Not really. I told you his files were a fucking mess and his permissions were probably redacted as well.

gabe69: uh huh

schwartzellie: There's cameras all over. Lasers. Devil's traps. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if any flat surface read DNA or heat signatures or something. Schwartz is really out-there about security. I mean, there's less than a handful of people who can get into the archives, and they're 99% accompanied by Schwartz herself.

gabe69: sounds high key

schwartzellie: It is. As far as I know, the only people with permissions to enter the archives are Schwartz, Irkalla, myself, and now... Carlos. It's under such heavy security that two people on shift have to watch it. One physically, and the other in a special cam room somewhere on site. Like... it's really guarded.

gabe69: and u 2 just waltzed in there huh?

schwartzellie: Yeah. And when we got to the middle, he just stood there and wouldn't look me in the eyes. He literally titled his head back and locked eyes with one of the, what I assume was, a camera. Stared into it the whole time we talked.

gabe69: what a fuckin weirdo. whatd he tell u babe?

schwartzellie: I don't.... I don't really remember. I was so weirded out by the whole experience... I remember getting goosebumps. My stomach hurt. I was feeling pretty nauseous and

gabe69: ok but it wasnt my food so

schwartzellie: Oh my Gods, I didn't say it was!

gabe69: just makin sure ;)

schwartzellie: Ugh. But...

gabe69: but?

schwartzellie: I remember staring at him really intense-like. Squinting and trying to figure out what his motive was. What he was saying. Like, his mouth was moving and words were coming out, but my brain couldn't figure out what they were! I even tried to remember later on, but none of the sounds or words I made felt right. I don't even remember leaving, or how I got back to my room... I slept with a diary that night in case I remembered anything in my sleep, but my dreams were blank. When I went to the security office, there was no record of us visiting the archives. And the guy on duty who stopped us outside the door? Gone. Vanished. I asked around and no one knew of anyone who matched that description ever working at SI. No one knew who I was talking about, and by then, his face was too blurry in my memory to ask again. After a few days of frustration, I asked Jade to help me. He reads lips, you know. So I tried to make the same movements I remembered Carlos making with his mouth, but Jade had no idea what I was trying to say. He said it was just gibberish.

gabe69: ellie this is fucking weird

schwartzellie: I know.

gabe69: so what ur telling me is that that dick took u 2 a place w heavy security did some mumbo jumbo magic shit that u cant remember and now ur phones being bugged and a guys missing???

schwartzellie: No, there's more to it than that. I think...

gabe69: ???

schwartzellie: So I tried to do some more digging about him, in hopes that it might.... I don't know... tell me something? Anything? But then more people disappeared.

gabe69: what do u mean? who disappeared?

schwartzellie: I... don't know.

gabe69: then how do u kno theyre gone??

schwartzellie: I have a list of employees on my desk for the monthly newsletter that have left the company. We publish goodbyes every month, but I don't remember any of them on this month's letter ever working here.

gabe69: well SI is a big company! surely a few slip by ur ever watchful eyes. u cant do everything doll

schwartzellie: No, but I sign every employment contract as Schwartz' witness. Even when they're mostly redacted. I've seen every person who enters this company, including business partners in different districts, contracted/affiliated help, and even have the names for people who work FOR our associates. But I don't know any of these names or faces.

gabe69: and ur sure they worked for SI

schwartzellie: The list is from Schwartz. I'm sure of that. But even she's been... off? There's something going on with her too. She won't reply to any non-related business mail.

gabe69: and ur surprised by that of all things?? ms unfeeling not talking about feelings?

schwartzellie: Well, no, but you don't know her, Gabe. It's like she's shutting down.

gabe69: uh huh

schwartzellie: With SI off the table, I told Wendy I had to look up something in Crowley's office, so I shadowed her to work. I wanted to check if maybe the city had those names on file, somewhere. They didn't.

gabe69: and?

schwartzellie: What they did have, though, was a blank space where those names SHOULD be. I don't think the person who was supposed to clean up got rid of the dividers.

gabe69: elliepop this is nuts like wacky pistachi kiddo! people fuck up on putting dividers in. it happens. i sometimes order double my stock on accident

schwartzellie: Okay, one? Wasteful. Two? I know I sound paranoid, okay? I know it. But something's going on. There's more, okay?

gabe69: more?

schwartzellie: Yeah.... After I left Crowley's office, Wendy stopped me on my way out. She asked if I found what I needed, and I told her I did. As she turned around to go back to work, I saw something around the corner. At first I thought it was a shadow. Maybe my eyes playing tricks on me. Shit happens, right? But I know someone was watching me.

gabe69: ellie

schwartzellie: No, listen! So I.... I didn't go straight home. I decided to take the bus, rather than get a cab, just in case. Better safe than sorry, right? And as I was waiting at the bus stop, I felt eyes on the back of my head.

gabe69: ellie....

schwartzellie: Gabe will you shut the fuck up? I know I sound crazy, but just let me finish. Please. You owe me this.

gabe69: ok elliecakes. im sorry :((

schwartzellie: I felt really antsy, rocking back and forth. I knew someone was watching me. I just knew it, okay? So I get on the next bus, not knowing where it was going. If someone was really following me, they probably wouldn't go somewhere random, right? Risk being seen by a lot of people? Turns out the next stop wasn't too far from Karen's, so I got off there. I went in, grabbed a latte, and sat down until my nerves returned to normal. I thought I was also being pretty ridiculous and letting weird events turn me into some sort of conspiracy theorist. Half way through my drink, I looked up and... there was nothing wrong. I didn't feel anyone looking. There were just some random people in there eating breakfast and drinking coffee. I was so relieved. Honestly, I felt so stupid.

gabe69: :( i love ur smarts

schwartzellie: So I paid my bill, and waited for the next bus. I rode back to SI, got off, and felt like a huge idiot for being so nervous. I was home! No reason to feel afraid when we have the best security in the District. I waved to Kat and sat in the lobby for a minute with weak knees. Like, I was just really relieved it was all in my head.

gabe69: that sounds good

schwartzellie: Until

gabe69: o

schwartzellie: I checked my phone for any alerts I might have missed while snooping, or trying to chill in Karen's. A few e-mails, a few texts, and then one weird notif from an iSpy app? But... I never installed anything like that. I checked my apps, but there wasn't one installed on the phone or the SD card. I started to get really freaked again. I mean, iSpy? Of all the alerts that could be the result of some virus or something... So I took the next elevator to the Tech Division. Mahouji was on shift, so I gave him my phone to look at.

gabe69: let me guess he found something

schwartzellie: He sure fucking did. He ran a scan while I was standing right there. The first one didn't pick up anything, but I insisted that there was something on it that I didn't put in there. After another unsuccessful scan, he ran his own with his.... I don't know. Whatever it is he works with. Personal code or program or something? I don't know. But he looked really disturbed. He fiddled with it, then downloaded an iSpy game from the app store.

gabe69: what

schwartzellie: Yeah, I was really confused too. He explained to me that it was probably just an advertisement for a new game that was mass spammed from a link I might have clicked and that, with the actual app in, he was able to turn off the notifications. But that's what he said, not what he showed me.

gabe69: what i dont get it

schwartzellie: While he was telling me all this and pointing my phone at me with his left hand, he pulled some paper and a pencil out of his own desk and wrote on it with his right hand. "Ellie, there's a nasty program on here. I don't know what it is, but I know it's not something anyone should tamper with. I don't even want to try to debug it. It has access to everything, including your cam and mic. Getting rid of the phone will only make whoever's watching suspicious. I recommend playing dumb while I investigate."

gabe69: holy shit

schwartzellie: I... I thanked him and left. I thought that it might just be a huge prank on me, but I don't think he's that kind of guy. I mean, we're not close friends or anything, but of all the people in this company? I think I can trust him.

gabe69: u sure u dont trust him just bc he validates w/e ur thinking is going on

schwartzellie: So you don't believe me?

gabe69: no elliecakes its not that. u kno im always on ur side. i just gotta play devils advocate yea???

schwartzellie: Yeah. Yeah. So.... Like.... I took the phone with me. I tried to keep it pointed away from me unless I had a message. I've been really jumpy and trying not to give too much info away in my emails or texts. I've tried changing my writing to kinda make it seem like it might not be me in case I disappear so people can figure out the dates things went wrong.

gabe69: ellie wtf nothings gonna happen 2 u. not when im around. i promise. u kno that.

schwartzellie: No, but-

gabe69: that y u emailed me the way u did earlier??

schwartzellie: Yeah, I wanted to leave a trail, okay? So anyone else who looked into it could tell something was up and I wasn't just making things up. And I thought that things were finally going back to normal, you know? I wanted things to be less weird, and they were, until earlier today.

gabe69: what happened??

schwartzellie: I was coming back to my office. I was thinking about finally getting back to my social life.

gabe69: so me

schwartzellie: Sure.

gabe69: :( cmon u love me

schwartzellie: Sure.

gabe69: ;*

schwartzellie: And on the way, I saw a guy standing in front of one of the windows in the hall. I didn't recognize him, so I asked him who he was. He didn't answer. I asked again, and still nothing. So I approached him from the side.

gabe69: ellie!

schwartzellie: I know it wasn't the smartest thing. Approaching some rando? But he was weird. Out of place weird. Because I know all of the employees. I know who has access to my floor. And this guy! Was just standing there! Looking out the window! I sent a text to security as a precaution, and then went to tap him on the shoulder. Then I blinked, and the window was broken. Alarms were going off. There was a woman screaming from below. The wind blew my hair out of place! I remember the tears coming down my face at the shock because what the fuck just happened?

gabe69: wtf i dont remember any alarm

schwartzellie: My legs gave out, and after a few seconds, I crawled to the window to look out. I was expecting to see the guy on the pavement below, you know? All bloody and broken and... yeah... But the window was fine.

gabe69: what

schwartzellie: The window! Was fine! It wasn't broken. There was no one below but regular day traffic! I was still on the floor, still with tears, but nothing happened? I checked my phone for the text I sent and it was in my drafts folder, saying "Message failed to send. Try again." I called the security office to ask for video of the hall, and got sent a video where I just walk by the window like nothing happened. Then I come back, sit down, and cry.

gabe69: ellie

schwartzellie: Gabe, please. Please just... I'm almost done.

gabe69: ok

schwartzellie: I called Mahouji and asked him to come pick me up from the hallway. He thought it was weird, because one? He was asleep. Two? We're not friends. Not really. And three? He's def. not security. So he was concerned.

gabe69: yea so am i y didnt u call me babe??

schwartzellie: Because when he got there, I showed him the video and told him that I must have not been paying attention because I was playing my iSpy app. He's smart enough to figure out the hidden meaning there. He asked if I needed to go to see a doctor in case I hurt anything falling down, but I told him that no, I'd be alright, but I did want to see you. Privately.

gabe69: oh hon hon hon baguette

schwartzellie: Can you be serious for one fucking second? Like, this is my life, Gabe!

gabe69: sorry go on

schwartzellie: Again, being the smart man he is,

gabe69: >:|

schwartzellie: he figured out what I meant. Told me that maybe it wouldn't be smart to go see someone if I was dizzy from the fall, and that I should message you instead using his computer.

gabe69: that y i had 2 click that weird file?

schwartzellie: Yeah. It's something he made to delete all records after we're done talking. It's safer that way. Because Gabe? I'm scared.

gabe69: ellie....

schwartzellie: I'm really scared. I don't know what to do now. Mahouji told me to try and back off. To forget the whole thing.

gabe69: suspicious

schwartzellie: No, I think he's really just concerned. He doesn't seem weird? Not like that hallway guy. Not like Carlos. I think he's worried. I think he knows there's something going on but I don't think he knows how weird it is. How twisted it is? There's something going on, Gabe, and it's so big. People are disappearing. Things are happening and not happening at the same time. Schwartz is off. I'm going crazy. There's something going on and someone who's not this deep in needs to know before I don't know anymore. Does that make sense?

gabe69: ellie where r u? u still in the tech div?

schwartzellie has signed out of SSERVER470

gabe69: fuck

gabe69 has signed out of SSERVER470

>initializing shut down of sserver470.exe >initializing self-deletion sequence >del470.exe in progress, authorization m confirm >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR

- x -

from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: HEY

um where are u elliepop? wanna get a coffee? nite cap? ;))

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

- x -

from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: HEY

Downstairs at the cafeteria. Why? Wanna join? lol

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

- x -

from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: HEY

error

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

- x -